#I fricking chose the fic title | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zombee · 2 years ago

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Blood Under the Skin author’s notes

welcome to my disastrous author’s notes! if you’re planning on rereading Blood any time soon, maybe skip these for now, as i reveal a lot of Secrets.

I publicly shorthand this fic to “medieval au,” but know that in my head I call it princess stede au

Which is why I chose princess songs for chapter titles. And c’mon “someday my prince will come” is PRICELESS poor stede I made it up to him with the whole public sex rimjob okay

Barrabas = Barbados, baharla = Bahamas it’s not that good I still think “baharla” is stupid lmao

I think of any of the shit I’ve written so far, this has the most potential to be made into something original. But I’d have to drop “bonny prince bonnet” because I couldn’t keep “bonnet” and I would be DEVASTATED okay

Stede’s wedding clothes were inspired by his canon wedding clothes, a bit. The color anyway. Poor baby ☹

Ugh I do want to let yall in on some of ed’s inner monologues but WHAT IF I write an ed pov what then!!!!

Ed only “chuckles” until he laughs outright after stede is alive after the poisoning

Doing things “on the inside” vs “on the outside” is autism coding aka masking, and it fades slowly until stede doesn’t do it at all, UNTIL he’s helping ed with his wound, and he does it on purpose to keep calm for ed’s sake. Because it’s still a skill he can utilize instead of a defense mechanism!

Stede is immediately on board with the marriage (obvs) and so he says “his betrothed” and then switches, of course, to “his husband” as soon as they’re married

The cravat scene, and then the stockings scene, are mirrored when ed puts the boots on stede. “now the other, please” and “now you’re perfect” are said first by stede, then by ed

When nigel says “I would call it more sort of flouncing” and then stede says he “flounced after blackbeard” when he first accompanies him to the army camp, that’s on purpose because he’s feeling Annoyed and Ignored

“He was free to think of grisly things he’d like to happen to them inside his own head while he kept a polite expression on his face.” – SO SO SO my princess stede here has been abused his WHOLE life instead of just in childhood/early adulthood. He never got to be a funky lil rich guy on his own, so he wears politeness like armor (very sansa of him – book only I hate GoT). As I hope u noticed, he gets more expressive as the fic goes on

Ed kissing stede at the wedding asldkjfd I just need to WRITE THE ED POV ALREADY

Since my first two big AUs are ed pov, I was worried about trying stede’s. But then I wrote the lines “the flowers clashed with the candelabras, the entertainment was gauche, and the eighteen courses lacked a cohesive narrative.” And I knew I’d be okay.

I had a sideplot of “ed’s men” from the wedding being his bros from all the way back in his pirate days, but I cut it because it didn’t fit anywhere

I will confess I wrote that ed didn’t let the servants into their room on the wedding night because I wanted some sexy undressing. But then I figured out the whole backstory with his mom and was like OHOHOHO

I just love my sweet autistic princess stede, I love how he always puts things in framing of “the ____” (the clothes-cutting, the staring, the thigh-fucking) I just LOVE HIM

“Stede was able to push the sleeves over and off his wrists without assistance, leaving him bare and self conscious.” – and then in the aldra islands he wears “a lovely sleeveless linen vest” because CONFIDENCE and GROWTH.

“Blackbeard was suddenly very close behind him. Stede could smell the wine on his breath.” / “Bonny Prince Bonnet.” His lips tickled Stede’s ear and his beard brushed against his neck. “The things I’ve heard about you.” / Stede very carefully did not blush. – this was very sexy of me actually and a CANON CALLBACK? In a cartoonmayor fic? Never

When ed says “it’s the fear” when he notices stede has a boner on their wedding night, and then he comes in hot after battle in that one scene ready to frick, ohohoho

Ed telling stede to close his eyes, and then sliding the nightshirt down – that was literally the image that inspired me write this fic.

“you can open your eyes” Of course he could, Stede very nearly said out loud. He opened them anyway. – stede always obeys direct orders (at first) but this is kind of our first hint of Bratty Stede. He pays close attention to exactly what everyone says (my sweet autistic princess)

I think it’s quite obvious what The Staring meant but when I do The Reveal That It’s Love I hope some of yall reread because it’s hella fun to go back and see where I emphasize it (I hope)

Stede, because of his thing with direct orders, is always careful to request (“would you please?”) instead of demand. This changes too throughout the fic especially when he tops

“Oh, yes, we had a jar of their paprika for a while. It was so unlike the one we make here!” – this is a dracula daily reference

I also had a subplot where the whole court was SCANDALIZED and assumed the WORST when stede’s cut-up wedding clothes were found, but ehhhh I just wanted to get stede out of the palace and yknow, I didn’t want to dwell on implications of assault. So just know they’re gossiping about it and triply deserve what they get in the end.

“good night ed” “night stede” – this is of course the first time ed uses his name dun dun DUNNNNN. I also use this exchange three times, and the third one is particularly special. Ed uses “stede,” at first, when his defenses are lowered. That’s why stede blushes at the end of ch.1, because ed calls him by his name instead of his title. Why does he continue to use prince bonnet after things are sorted between them? Well, [redacted in case I write an ed pov]. Also “good night ed” “night stede” I use in a lot of my other fics.

Only one bed? Only one bed. And then I take it away from them but I give it BACK after a week okay

The real journey in this fic is ed becoming the little spoon he is

Don’t ask me the difference between hose, trousers, and pants I DO NOT KNOW

I honestly thought this fic would have a lot more erotic un/dressing but the muse didn’t give me more than a few scenes

Originally I had stede be ticklish too and this whole big scene where ed’s like “we have nothing in common” and stede says they’re both ticklish but that’s not where the fic took me so I cut it

Stocking scene is based a little on that excellent fan art by @aivelin https://aivelin.tumblr.com/post/681807914544087040/wonderful-collaboration-with-amuseoffyre-read-fic

The badminton twins (and calico jack) were originally involved in the assassination plot. Jack was going to be another prince and stede was going to be RAGING JEALOUS but again the fic just didn’t take me there so no jack at all and less badmintons then planned. I’m not complaining.

When ed says “absolutely not, fuck off” to the badmintons one of my early readers commented “LMAO ED SAID THE VIBES WERE ATROCIOUS” and I still think about it

“he wore an understated outfit” that includes SHIMMERING HOSE stede I love you SO much

Ed ignores stede because [redacted in case I write an ed pov but you can probably figure it out from context clues]

Yeah yeah I gave ed the canon stede thing that he pays his soldiers but I had to establish early that he’s brilliant

“No!” Stede did more than flinch this time. Had he really just said “no” to his husband? That was worse than blushing. – look how far this baby bratty boy gets toward the end of the fic I LOVE HIM. Also yeah sorry while he’s “flinching” and worried about “punishment” throughout the book… I don’t dwell on that shit but it was Bad guys. Real bad.

“He hoped never to return to the court of Barrabas.” EXCEPT AS A KING YEAH BOIII

A lot of the traveling camp stuff was inspired by The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley. That book imprinted on me as a kid along with the prequel-sequel The Hero and the Crown

I mean a lot of this is just a love letter to the fantasy novels I read as a kid

Blackbeard asks, instead of orders, about the boots. “Would you like to try on a pair of mine?” – Stede allows himself to consider the request before he says yes. Also boy oh boy [redacted for ed pov purposes]

“They were black of course” THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE RUNNING GAGS AND NO ONE HAS EVER COMMENTED ON IT. Stede being like “I love him but god some VARIETY please.” And then I drop it in the scene where they’re in the meadow that yeah, ed has been wearing more colorful clothes like he DESERVES since they got married

Boot scene inspired by this fanart by @shoomlah https://shoomlah.tumblr.com/post/682077235089440768/could-be-arranged

Stede getting more and more exasperated with The Staring is also one of my favorite bits

I did technically make stede and ed in their early 30s because while it is very precious to me that they’re older men finding first time queer love (not hating on AUs where they’re younger, I also love those), for Plot Purposes I felt like… offering a 48 year old prince for a treaty is a little silly lmao, AND I needed time for them to dismantle the monarchy. Anyway I don’t dwell on their ages so headcanon as you like.

Cupcake/Thunderfoot is very good please clap

“While he bumped along on Cupcake, not reading,” BITCHY STEDE ILYSM

Stede uses “it would not do” then I have ed use it in the balcony scene bc I love that shit when partners start to parrot each other

Mary sweetie I’m SO so sorry I killed you off in this fic I truly am but it had to happen for the marriage part of the arranged marriage to work, and for stede to be a 33 year old prince who hadn’t been married off yet.

I had to write porn using words like “backside” “take himself in hand” so I just let stede say cock it was just easier

The first time stede even lets himself THINK the word fuck is after he jacks it in the tent ehehe. I was explaining that to an ofmd discord and people were like “he does say fuck though” and I was like yes. Yes I understand that. This is an AU it is not canon. “but he does say it in this episode and this one” YES I UNDERSTAND THIS IS AN A L T E R N A T E U N I V E R S E

Ed liking cupcake as stede’s horse’s name THEY LOVE EACH OTHER YOUR HONOR THEY ACCEPT EACH OTHER JUST LIKE THEY ARE

“you were made for fine things, prince bonnet,” “so were you, edward” first time we hear stede use the full name and also [redacted ed pov but hopefully you get the gist from context clues]

Erotic horseback riding lessons is also where stede starts to do things On The Outside and be a lil bratty out loud finally.

I literally copy pasted the wikihow article on horseback riding and made it horny with stede’s thoughts

Ed romance novel hero when

Ed calls him stede again in this scene ohohoho

“And then. His husband started to run his hands all over Stede’s body. There was even brief contact with his crotch. His cock gave another definite twitch.” Yeah this is basically a scene from ski au yeah I reuse scenes from my fics SO WHAT

It’s my medieval bullshit au and I’ll give them showers if I want to

Small motif about mirrors in ed’s castle runs throughout

Erotic bathing scene is my favorite in the fic. It is like, 1300 words? I’ve since written single scenes that are longer ([redacted] and [redacted] in Persephone au so far are both longer) but my writing is pretty snappy and brief. Which is NICE i LIKE that about my writing, but how someone can write like, a 5k word sex scene is absolutely unfathomable to me. One day I might get there.

“Absolutely not.” Stede held his breath for just a beat after that before he felt safe to continue. “We are going to pamper you tonight, my husband.” – stede feeling (mostly) comfortable saying no to ed <3 and calling him “my husband” for the first time <3333 I’ll spoil the ed pov here, every time stede says that he just thinks HUSBAND(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Blackbeard was staring, so who knew really. – have I mentioned HOW MUCH I LOVE STEDE

“It was time for the touching.” – one of my early readers commented “my ace ass reading smut” and I still think about it

There’s a motif with the back of ed’s neck, see if you can spot them all. This was inspired by “The Nettles in the Garden Don’t Go Away,” a soulmate au retelling of season 1, and a fic that actually had me spiraling in despair that my writing will never be that good. https://archiveofourown.org/works/38007859/chapters/94929583 please read it

stede follows the curly girl method in every single one of my fics and this is no exception

“but Ed had quite a lot of hair and he was worth it.” IS THE FIRST TIME HE *THINKS* OF ED AS “ED” GOSH GUYS SOMETIMES I JUST LOVE MY OWN WRITING SO MUCH. Notice it starts to shift more and more until finally he stops thinking of him as blackbeard entirely.

“This is the body soap. It’s–“ “Lavender.” “Yes! You have a nose for fine things, as well.” “It would seem that way.” I’ll never write something this romantic ever again pack it in boys I’ve peaked

Idk why I always use “snuffling” to describe ed’s sleep sounds in my fics but I always do

“got it for you. My bonny prince” stop ed STOP he’s so in love

I was feeling grumpy about trying to describe the castle (visual description is NOT my forte) but @semisweetshadow my beta and fandom bestie said “you captured how stede feels about it that’s what’s important” and I’m still glowing from that compliment

I’m an iggy blameologist for LIFE for LIFE and having stede call him iggy is one of my favorite bits for sure

“Stede did not ask about the tapestries, or the candelabras, or the portraits. They had a distinct lack of flair that he had come to associate with his husband’s taste,” – if you didn’t catch this it’s because the castle was not originally ed’s and he never redecorated. Not because he has bad taste ed I love you

The queen’s rooms/king’s rooms with a passageway between is straight from my very favorite book series, the Queen’s Thief books by megan whalen turner. There’s another rather obvious reference in the second to last chapter also (The Queen, called Aldra after her country)

Although stede calls him ed out loud as he’s been instructed to, he does call him blackbeard a few times when he’s distressed, including the Balcony Scene

I know that jim is ooc from canon but look they’ve been in a happy relationship for years and flourished and they’re SECRETLY GOOFY even in canon so it’s justified okay

What stede tells Lucius in the record-keeping scene matches up with what Lucius writes in the epilogue ohoho

Yes I had Lucius say “fade to black” in a medieval au i channel daddy jenky always

In my wwdits au, I made Lucius such a fucking dick because he was Laszlo. I had my excellent beta for ski au point out he was too mean in that one, so I rewrote that. And then in this one he’s supportive and nice, hooray for Lucius

Show of hands who guessed the “when is ed the most beautiful” bit was gonna end when he bottomed

Was so glad I worked in a “Frenchie/Oluwande dream team” aspect of this fic.

“Did they not teach you how to switch in Barrabas?” “I did not know that was even an option.” “Oh,” said Blackbeard. His eyes glittered. “It can be fun, in the right circumstances.” – come on you all knew how this was going to turn out right???

Moon ceremony directly inspired by Tamora Pierce (the spies stuff too actually). Ngl I felt real silly with the worldbuilding in this whole fic, but a lot of you were very encouraging in your comments thank you very much for that. I do like the idea of a trio of gods representing the balance of all things, idk.

Alanna is of course another tammy reference

“Brave Prince Bonnet.” Ed’s lips skated against his own as he spoke. “You always do surprise me.” – do u get it because ed was always surprising him wait don’t leave—

“Blackbeard wouldn’t let him eat anything but broth and toast, and he was starting to get annoyed.” – this is the last time stede will think of him as blackbeard, and it’s because he’s “not allowing” him to do something.

Ah, the ol’ “sex dream making it obvious I want to have sex” trope. Look my fics are just three tropes stacked together in a trench coat what do you want from me.

OKAY BUT BUT B U T “Tell me what it means.” “No.” – this is the first time stede EVER disobeys a direct order and it is NOT A COINICDENCE this is when ed finally breaks on the fricking. Yeah yeah a glimpse into the ed pov but c’mon

“These fucking stupid hose. I can’t get a hand in.” “I’ll be sure to– ah! I’ll be sure to wear pants next time.” – I’m not 100% sure but I think I only have him wearing pants after this. Horny boy. Also a hint that stede is into ~exhibitionism~

Stede accepting ed’s past is very important 2 me and I put it in every fic. Canon parallels etc.

When ed explains he almost lost stede and that’s what finally made him break on the fricking, the epilogue reveal it was actually *izzy* sending assassins just delights me because IT’S IGGY’S FAULT THEY FINALLY BONED LMAO

“The first time his husband fucked Stede in the ass, it would have been perfect. If not for the assassination attempt.” Will I ever write a better opening line I don’t think so. And my hope is I distracted you with the porn to the point you forgot about the assassin until it comes back around.

“Tell me you’re sure again,” Ed said. / “I am fully fucking certain that if your fingers aren’t inside of me in the next thirty seconds I will scream.” – I posted this to the ofmd thirstposting group on facebook and people lost their MINDS

Look I know bottom/top discourse can be annoying and I know if they’re not vers ed is the bottom I KNOW THIS but bottom!stede is very precious 2 me. Anyway they ARE vers in this so nananabooboo

I can give stede one (1) hands free orgasm I do not care if it’s not realistic

Some definite [redacted ed pov] going on in this chapter

He does start joking around about his violent tendencies after this bc love and acceptance

Stede positing the assassins might be trying to start a war between ed and barrabas is correct – it was just iggy doing it!

The “stede kills someone, olu & jim comfort him” very canon of me please clap

When ed is like “wait YOU killed him?” that is kind of a reference to my wwdits au lol

Stede asking for fricking to help him not feel the pain is actually a reference to a tywin/sansa fic I like I know it’s gross I’m sorry but it’s so FUCKING good. Let me know if you want that link.

Okay so obvy stede goes through a lot of Sexual Growth. but with the thigh-fucking, ed also goes through some with stede where he’s like, yknow, so concerned with stede feeling comfortable all the time that he doesn’t always pay attention to what stede is ACTUALLY signaling (I mean, [redacted ed pov]). Anyway so the intercrural is a little bit ed *trusting* stede. I’m always keen to work on consent on all levels, not just verbal, so yeah. They’ve fucked A LOT at this point, ed knows stede very well, and if stede ever told him flat out “no” of course he’d respect that. ANYWAY.

Also lots of bratty stede in these two smut scenes aw yis

“For fuck’s sake,” said Frenchie. “Let us watch, or leave us alone.” Do I have a smut scene in my head where Frenchie and stede DP ed MAYBE I DO MAYBE I DON’T

Calling the aldran princess tiffany is just a lil joke on the tiffany problem lol - https://medium.com/swlh/the-tiffany-problem-when-history-makes-no-sense-703b86522627

Ed backstory is very precious 2 me DISMANTLE THAT MONARCHY BABES YES

“there was a room with showers” I HASTILY MENTION BEFORE A RIMJOB SCENE OCCURS

“You are not Blushing Baby Bonnet. You never were. And if anyone ever makes you feel like that again, I will kill them.” / “Maybe a maiming, darling. No need to go so far.” – see stede accepts ed for all of him (canon parallels huzzah) and they can JOKE about it now even though [redacted ed pov but I bet you can guess]

Yeah I headcanon stede as gay (as in homosexual gay not blanket term gay) (and usually ed too) but idk sexuality is always fluid imo so having him react to the lesbians is kind of a winkwink nudgenudge there. And also the “winking over the thigh while she eats someone out” is from orange is the new black, which I didn’t think I got past the second season but god natasha Lyonne you imprinted on me in that moment

Idk why stede would have read porn his whole life and never read about ass eating but it’s fiction let me have this

Okay okay so scene where ed comes in hot in the tent, i think/hope I handled it okay. You should all know whenever I write from a bottom pov, I’m channeling my bestie, and they would be very VERY into something that rough. So stede is obviously Into It, but like I said in the notes it’s something they should have talked about first. And like, [redacted ed pov] is really why it doesn’t happen in that moment. anyway stede’s a lil slut and I’m glad they talked about it.

OKAY SO the nightshirt wedding night scene is the inspiration for this fic, and the “stede explains his fantasies and ed responds with ‘I just want your dick inside of me’” is the thing that KEPT ME GOING when I stalled out on this fic. I knew I wanted to write it so bad and if you paid attention to the tags when you first read this story you’ll notice it says “Bottom stede bonnet” “OR IS HE” because I’m not subtle

“always from the perspective of the ravishee, never the ravisher” look modern aus are fun but it’s real fun to play with silly pov like this lol

Butt plug hurt/comfort it’s the new hot genre

I’ll be honest the scene with the barabassian emissary doesn’t make much sense but you get the vibe right

For some reason I seem to stall out at like 25k, that’s been the case with all five of my multichapters so far (shoves coffeeshop au in the corner) so I was gnashing my teeth about this. Until I was like, yknow what, I literally don’t have to show the whole fucking war or dismantling of the monarchy, stede topping REALLY IS A GOOD WAY TO END THE FIC and it is. It is! It is, right?

I did know for sure the last line was going to be “I’ve always loved it when you blush.”

And then the epilogue my beloved. Iggy you fool. Monarchies suck. Etc.I

HOPE YOU LIKED THE FIC I think of any of the multi chapters I’ve written so far it’s really the best one. I’m working on (and hopefully almost done with) a hades/Persephone AU right now that has got some fucking cool wordbuilding and I only stole like 25% of it from lore Olympus. Hit that subscribe if you want to know when that comes out! Cheers m’dears!

#my fic

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isthemedia · 6 years ago

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>>....<<....

I know I posted this a while back and you can find it through the Kenmac tag....but frick it.

Here’s a repost (cause I did some editing too) of my KenMac fic based off of Ermac’s tower ending in MKX-along with hints to other tower endings and some mirror-match intro dialogues. (Title Still Pending)

Pt1.

They felt...betrayed. They felt used. Anguish swirled in his mind. Rage was starting to swell...how dare he. How dare he...

They struggled to get to their feet. They felt so weak...why didn't he finish them off? Did he want to see them suffer?

What were they to do now? They lost so much of their power to the sorcerer that they wouldn’t be able to defend against him if he found them.

It almost sounded like wailing. A groaning, and heart-wrenching sound. A constant plea to; "save them....save all of them". He was use to the myriad of voices from the souls housed within the ancient sword; but never did he hear them so frantic before. He wondered what could have caused them to act as such. Something must be amiss. Something he was unable to sense. Then the souls, in an almost harsh whisper, said;

"You saved them before..."

Whatever was going on with the possessed sword he wouldn't dare to ponder it any further.

They should have never followed that voice, calling out to them. Struggling to escape the labyrinth of the former Outworld ruler...to escape any chance that the sorcerer would return to drain the fleeting hundred souls the still had...

It was then they heard heavy footsteps echoing through the halls. They could hear the remaining souls wailing in terror at the thought of being torn from them. The voices were much louder then before...no that wasn't it; the fact with now only a mere hundred souls the could hear each everyone of them, so clearly now.

One voice, one soul; so certain, so confident told them not to fret. There will be help along the way. That they helped them before, and will again.

Who helped them before? There was no before...

It almost felt as if Sento was pulling him along. It yearned to be free of its sheath. He didn't question as to why. Pulling the blade free from the confines, it urged the swordsman head forth. The souls saying he must go to Outworld...they needed his help.

Whoever they were, he couldn't figure it out. There really weren't any allies in Outworld. At least none that he was certain he assisted before.

His lips curled up into a disgusted sneer...he knew this place. He could never forget this feeling...Shao Kahn's fortress. He felt his blood boil more when he was able to sense an energy deep within. How could he be alive? What power did that sorcerer have at his disposal?

Then his anger was quelled when he sensed another force from within the walls. Frantic...confused...he knew he sensed the presence before. He just could not figure where. Sento gave another melodious groan for him to go...and save them.

He moved quickly and stealthy. Highly cautious round each corner. Mind focused and sharp. Waiting...and hoping that the sorcerer's presence would leave. Not out of fear, but for the small fact that his own personal ire with him would distract him from why he was brought here. All the while Sento still repeating;

"Save them...save them..."

They couldn't spare the energy to allow them to hover about as they once had. They had to be cautious as to how much of their power they could use. It was then they heard it again. Those heavy footsteps, coming closer.

He took his stance...then that soul spoke up once again. Loudly and over the other ninety-nine. They were not to fear. Help has arrived...help has come to set him free.

Around the corner...he stopped. He knew this energy. He did. But...it felt different. Weaker...no not weaker. It felt, incomplete.

“The blind swordsman?” They asked themselves aloud.

Kenshi was nearly besides himself...Ermac was the one he saved before? When had he? There was no way. Sento assured and urged him to help him flee away from Shang Tsung, before the remaining souls would be taken from the sentinel once again.

Kenshi recalled Johnny mentioning that Raiden had brought up receiving visions from the future. Was it possible...Sento knew of what occurred in that alternate timeline?

“Save them...set them free...” was all the ancient sword would respond with.

Pt.2

It was a few hours of awkward silence that lingered between the two of them. Kenshi didn't expect Ermac to go along as willingly as they did. He shouldn’t question it...but something back in his mind was nagging at him. It wanted him to ask; why exactly Ermac came back here? What purpose was there for them?

“...we were called.”

Kenshi turned his attention to the other, walking alongside him. Not floating as he normally would have,something Kenshi tell just by hearing the other’s footsteps as they trudged through the sand. He was able to hear a tone of...disgust and a bit of reprimanding in the sentinel's voice.

“You were called?” Kenshi asked, giving Ermac the go ahead to explain further.

“It was a voice...it was calling to us many times. We never thought much about it. We could not ignore it though...as much as we wished we had now...”

“...what exactly happened in there Ermac? I can sense a...change I suppose would be the best term for it, with you.”

It was the moment of silence that had the hair on the back of the swordsman's neck stand. That was hesitation. Ermac was hesitating.

“....our creator walks among the living once again.”

His..creato—a flash of rage flooded Kenshi as the words sunk in. “Tell me...by your creator, you mean-”

“Shang Tsung?” There was a pause. “Yes, we do.”

Kenshi felt the anger boil more. He felt his blood run hot. That sorcerer was alive?! He escaped death once again! That bastard!

“How?” he all but growled.

Again another moment of lingering silence.

“....we are now...a mere one hundred.”

Something ice cold sliced through the heated rage within Kenshi's body. 'Only a mere one hundred....' that bastard Shang Tsung....

Kenshi found himself still in awe at how compliant Ermac was being. Allowing themself to be cuffed by several of the Special Forces agents. How they didn't argue when Sonya ordered them to take them to a confinement cell until they knew what to do with them.

He wanted to protest...he didn't know why. But whatever he wanted to say, to keep Ermac besides him just for a few moments longer, were lost before he could open his mouth.

“Why did you bring him here?” Sonya asked Kenshi, he could feel her tension. Her apprehension...and a bubbling sense of anger.

“They needed help Son--”

“They don't need help from us. You do know what they did to Jax?”

Kenshi flinched as images assaulted him from Sonya. How Ermac destroyed Jax's arms.

“I understand, but listen to me.”

“I'll give you once chance to explain, and explain thoroughly.”

Kenshi frowned some as he took his time to explain to Sonya how Sento urged him to go to Outworld. How he came across Ermac....that now, Shang Tsung was once again among the living.

“He used them Sonya. He treated them as nothing more than a back-up plan if things didn't go is way.”

“It still doesn't change his allegiance Kenshi.”

“Do you think Kotal Kahn will just accept that he was used like that? We know he would twist this encounter as some sort of plan to overthrow him.”

Sonya's eye narrowed. “...if I didn't know any better. I would say that you're trying to protect him.”

Kenshi reeled back slightly. Was he? Sonya had a point. He was trying to convince her to keep Ermac in their watch. To make sure that they would be safe from any more harm. And e couldn't figure out why.

Then he heard Sento give a small whisper; “He can help them.....”

“Sonya...how much do you and Johnny know about this...previous time line that Raiden tried to prevent?”

“And what brings this change of subject up?”

Kenshi let the silence linger for a bit, trying his best to chose his words carefully. “Sento seems to be...aware of it.”

They sat in silence. Eyes closed in a deep meditation. It was eerie almost; being able to hear the voices so clearly now. It was something that filled them with such dread at first....but soon found some kind of comfort within it. That one soul in particular. The one that seemed so certain and confident. Who said that this was a blessing...that it would make them stronger.

How it would, they couldn't be sure. Their powers felt so drained now. Needing to conserve their energy. Needing to use it sparingly.

“He will help you...he will teach you...as you had taught him once before...”

Ermac couldn't help but feel calmed by the wise soul. Though that didn't stop the feeling of confusion within them as they did not, out of place being here in Earthrealm.

Pt.3

“Hand him over ta Raiden.”

“Jax,” Sonya said with exasperation.

“Or ta the Lin Kuai.”

“Jax,” she said a bit more firmly.

“Better yet, given him ta Hanzo, I'm sure he'd find some use fer him.”

“Jax,” Sonya said with a higher volume.

“Yer not goin' ta buy into this are you? You remember what that guy can do?” Jax stated as his eyes narrowed.

“I haven't, nor am I behind this either; but I trust Kenshi,” she heaved a sigh. “I'm not in favor of this one bit. But he's adamant. Not to mention, we could possible use him to get to Shang Tsung. I doubt he'd leave a job like that unfinished.”

“So yer gonna risk our hides because of something Kenshi said? Listen, I know the guy is smart, and he's a damn good operative too. But this? Come on Sonya...wait where the hell is Kenshi?”

“...he's talking with him right now.”

“Shang Tsung will be ready to try and cause a disturbance in Outworld,” Ermac stated, as they and Kenshi sat side by side. Both were meditating, trying to form a connection that Sento and the souls within Ermac insisted was there.

“You sound certain.”

“Shang Tsung, craves power...control....he will not do it alone.”

“Who does he have as is disposal? Unless he takes the side of the resistance, I can't think of any that would aid him.”

“If what Reptile said was true about Mileena...then he wouldn't need any....he'd make his allies.”

“Make them?”

“Within his flesh pits...”

Kenshi sneered slightly. Of course he'd have a back up like that. The sorcerer was around for countless centuries. He'd be prepared for anything.

“...tell us swordsman; why do you try and provide our safety?”

“Because I've been betrayed by Shang Tsung's deception as well,” he answered. It was true...most of it. There was another part to it though. One he could not yet place.

Both turned to the sound of footsteps approaching the containment cell.

“Jax--”

“Listen, I don't care what that fancy sword of yer's is tellin' ya; but there is now way in hell I'm gonna let this freak stay here like we're protectin' him.”

Kenshi felt himself stiffen some. A small bubble of rage starting to form at the tone Jax was using.

“Jax,” he began firmly. “I'm not asking you to trust him. I'm not asking you to protect him. To be honest, I haven't asked you to do anything. You don't need to. I, however, will. There is a new threat to Earthrelam and right now anyone against it I will consider an ally.”

Jax didn't falter at the swordsman's lecture, his glare only intensified. “Alright then, it'll be yer ass on the line if anything happens. Got it?”

“Understood.”

Ermac did their best to let the two be. They were not part of their conversation, so there was no need for them to listen in. Even if they were a few steps away. They still couldn't quite understand as to why Kenshi was trying to help them. But for some reason it just felt right.

When Jax left the two alone once again, they stayed silent for a few moments.

“Sorry you had to see that,” Kenshi began.

“We cannot blame him for his distrust,” Ermac stated, still sensing some anger within the other. “Do not let it distract you.”

Kenshi sighed some; Ermac did indeed have a point, but he felt that the tone that Jax had taken was just a bit too harsh for his liking.

“...we can take you to Shang Tsung's flesh pits. He will surely return there.”

“I'm counting on you Ermac. Do not make me regret it.”

“We will make sure that your trust in us does not go unfounded.”

Kenshi turned to face him, and couldn't stop the small smile that tugged at his lips.

Pt.4

As grateful as Kenshi was that he and Ermac were not the only ones infiltrating the abandoned fortress; he would have preferred if Jax wasn't one of them who joined. The Major refused to let the sentinel out of his sight for more than a few moments at a time. It concerned him that the sentinel wasn't floating like usual.

Ermac simply stated that it would use energy that they couldn't waste. Sadly, that only had Jax convinced even more that Ermac couldn't be trusted. Why would they need to conserve energy?

“Because Shang Tsung stole all but one hundred of his souls Jax,” Kenshi stated as he passed by.

“Hey! What did I tell you about readin' my mind like that?”

Kenshi didn't respond. He knew it was in bad taste to read others minds without permission, but he felt somewhat justified this time.

“Easy, easy you two,” Johnny said as he held up his hands in a defensive manner, trying to play mediator. “Right now we're against a common threat, let's focus on that first. Alright? And besides; if he does try to pull something it'll be three against one.”

“Somethin' tells me it might be a two on two,” Jax stated as he eyed Kenshi.

“This way,” Ermac called as they lead the way. Taking the route that he had taken when he first heard that voice call to him.

“Yeah, alright this will be my nightmare fuel for awhile,” Johnny stated in a nonchalant manner.

Lined up along the walls were rows and rows of Mileena-clones. All in a suspended state.

“This is what you meant by him making his allies?” Kenshi asked Ermac.

“We were unaware as to what was here.”

“You're certain that he will come here?” Kenshi asked Ermac.

“We are very certain.”

Johnny let the two talk as he ventured a bit deeper into the flesh pits.

“Don't go touchin' anything!” He heard Jax call after when the Major noticed him walking away.

He just gave a wave acknowledging the warning. Come on, like he was one who needed to be told that.

As he ventured deeper, he couldn't shake the feeling that he were being watched. He knew better than to think it was just paranoia on his end; in a place like this, especially in Outworld, it was never out of the realm of possibility that something was indeed watching you.

Something caught his attention, a slight movement he saw out of the corner of his eye. He swore he saw one of the clones just open their eyes. As soon as he looked over, the eyes were closed.

Alright if he ever needed a sign that it was time to head back, that was it.

Just as he was approaching the other three, he heard it. He stopped in place and tried to focus on it; the somewhat muted whirl.

Of a laser powering up.

It happened so fast. He barely dodged it. The unmistakable heat of an all too familiar red laser.

“Well well well, look wot we 'ave here.”

That voice, he knew that voice! The heavy footfalls just helped confirm the suspicion.

“Shang Tsung won't be too pleased if he finds the lot o' ya snoopin' 'round here. But I guess he just won't need to find out now, would he?”

He was sure Sonya captured him. He was locked up in a tiny cell with no light. So how the hell was Kano here?

The sound of crashing glass echoed, and the growling hiss made his skin crawled.

“Look at all the new playma--” the taunt was cut off by a screech as a sword flew past, cleaning slicing off the Mileena-clone left arm.

“You weren't lying when you said he'd make an army,” Kenshi noted as Sento returned to him.

“ 'ey now, ain't fair that it's four on just the two of us,” Kano smirked.

“Alright, really do not like that tone,” Johnny sighed as he made it to his feet.

More glass shattered and the whirring sound...two more this time.

The only thing on the movie star's mind was one simple word.

Fuck.

Two more Kano-clones emerged from the darker parts of room. They had to be clones! That was the only explanation! And with them being surrounded by the multiple Mileena duplicates it shouldn’t have been such a shock.

Jax swore as two Mileena's pounced just as one of the Kano's delivered an upper-cut.

Kenshi wasn't faring any better; too many enemies at once. He couldn't let go a Sento for long, his telekinesis only going so far before another would jump him.

Ermac found themselves pinned beneath a bloodthirsty Mileena-clone. Their scuffle having them knock over a table, sending the contents that rested atop clattering to the floor. The clone's nails swiping and clawing at them. They struggled, trying to conjure something to knock the abomination away.

“Pretty little sentinel, you have no purpose here,” the clone hissed and mocked.

One of their hands reached, grasping for anything that could be used to help fend off their attacker. Whatever may have been knocked off the table.

Their hand came into contact with something. A sudden jolt of familiarity rushed through them. That soul yelling to them to grab and swing with all their might.

With hesitation the sentinel did. Cleaving the clone in half with the large axe.

It felt...so right in their hands.

It felt so, familiar.

“It is your weapon.”

Pt.5

They found themselves still somewhat stunned. Hands still gripping onto the large axe. When have they ever used a weapon such as this? Why had it felt so right to use?

They didn’t have time to question it further before another Mileena-clone pounced. They rolled out of the way and tried to right themselves. She lashed out and they blocked with the large handle. Adjusting their grip they swung again, catching and tearing through one of the Mileena-clone hands.

“Wretch!” She shrieked and was about to leap but halted with a sharp gasp.

It took a few moments before Ermac was able to catch sight of the blade, glowing a blue hue and protruding through the clone’s chest. Just as suddenly as it must have appeared, it was pulled out and returned to the waiting hands of its owner.

“Are you alright?” Kenshi asked as he made his way over. He could sense a wave of unease and...confusion?

“Kenshi, come on let’s get movin’!” Johnny called, as he stepped over one of the downed Kano-clones. “Before something ELSE happens here.”

Kenshi nodded and offered his hand to the still stunned Ermac. There was a moment of hesitation, before they took it.

“Trust him...he will help free you.”

The debriefing with Sonya could have gone a bit better, but hey what else could he do? Ermac’s idea of Shang Tsung ‘making his allies’ seemed to be pretty damn possible. Sonya agreed that maybe keeping Ermac on the base might be a good thing after all...maybe.

Speaking of the sentinel, “He's been quiet since we got back here,” Johnny mentioned as he looked over to Kenshi.

“It seems that they confused.”

“Confused? 'bout what?”

Kenshi sighed and turned to face Johnny; a habit Johnny learned that Kenshi did when he needed to have a person’s full attention. “Johnny, I asked Sonya this--”

“That never is a good start.”

“What do you know about the previous timeline, the one Raiden tried to prevent.”

Johnny looked to him; he could feel the sudden tension fill the other. Was it that bad? Would revealing anything cause damage to this one?

The former movie star licked his lips some as he tried to think of the best way to say it. It should have been simple enough to say. We all died.

That's all he needed to say. Though admitting that and stating it aloud proved to be harder than he first thought.

“I understand,” Kenshi stated after the long stretch silence. If Johnny couldn't tell him, then it simply meant he was not to know from him.

“Wait, Kenshi,” the blonde began as he watched the other walk away.

Kenshi didn't reply, didn’t stop, didn’t wait for Johnny to continue. He didn't need to make Johnny at all guilty for not answering. Knowledge like that…

Perhaps it was best not knowing what was in that timeline. Even IF it could answer this, odd familiarity with Ermac.

He sat besides the still slightly stunned sentinel.

“You're quiet...something, bothering you?”

“...we are told, this is our weapon.”

“Your weapon?” Kenshi asked, and Ermac, without hesitation handed him the axe. The weight of it shocked Kenshi, but he let his hand wander over it, trying to picture exactly what it was. “Sorry, but I do not recall you even using an axe, or a weapon in general.”

“We do not recall either. However--” the sentinel trailed off.

“However?” It felt natural...this conversation. Almost too natural.

“It felt right to use it.”

“Well...then maybe you should keep using it?” Kenshi offered as he gave it back to Ermac. “Allow me to help in anyway…”

“We…we accept your offer, swordsman.”

“Kenshi.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Kenshi,” Ermac echoed.

There was just, something about how they said it. It rang in Kenshi’s mind, as if he heard it many times before. As for Ermac…

It felt almost as right to say, as the axe was right to use.

Kenshi was amazed to sense the shift in the sentinel's body. He assumed their body was nothing more than something to house the souls within. And while, yes that part was true, he was just shocked as to how their body developed like any other real body.

Ermac's frame was losing that, all too sickly skinniness. He was concerned at first, that he would have seriously hurt the other if he sparred as erratically as he would with Johnny-and he wasn’t even going to consider how he’d spar with Hanzo.

As they worked together, Kenshi could feel those muscles were starting to build. It was indeed a much needed change to help Ermac fight and defend, since their usually means of fighting was now greatly restricted. The sentinel was quick to learn though. And as they continued, Ermac was proving to be a better sparring partner than Johnny.

He too felt some familiarity whenever Ermac would wield the large blade, or would trade blows with him. Almost as if he knew that Ermac was suppose to be skilled with it...skilled in hand-to-hand...

He stopped questioning and trying to get some answers about the former timeline. If he and Ermac were to know about their lives previously, then they shall within time.

It wasn’t the only thing he was noticing.

Johnny seemed to have warmed up to Ermac the easiest. Allowing the sentinel to walk and explore the Special Forces base without his supervision-despite Sonya and Jax’s reprimanding whenever Ermac was caught alone.

The former movie star would take it, but shrug it off as soon as they weren’t watching him. When Kenshi asked him his reasons for doing so. Johnny simply stated that if Ermac wanted to do something, like kill them all, he was pretty sure he would have. The fact he hasn’t, cemented the claim of all but 100 souls being drained from them was enough to convince Johnny.

“Not ta mention,” he continued and looked over to Kenshi. “You’re a pretty good judge of character.”

Kenshi shook his head with a soft chuckle. Indeed very grateful that Johnny was one of the only ones who would take his word. He just hoped that Johnny could help when the others showed up.

He knew Takeda and Jacqui would more than likely side with Jax in this...refusing to accept Ermac. Watch him. Question everything he’d do.

“You are distracted?”

Kenshi snapped from his thoughts, before he turned to the voice, taking a stance. “Forgive me...are you ready to try again?”

“We are still many,” Ermac replied, Kenshi felt his lips quirk up into a half smile.

#long post #is very long #kenmac #kenshi mk #Kenshi #kenshi takehashi #ermac mk #Ermac #I want my pre-timeline ship back GDIT

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ao3feed-danganronpa · 4 years ago

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The fic where Leon fricks a snail

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2OrA8AA

by Mika_23

The title saids it all.Thank you and goodnight.

Words: 99, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Kuwata Leon, Naegi Makoto

Relationships: Kuwata Leon/Naegi Makoto

Additional Tags: I'd like to thank the ppl on discord for this idea, I couldn't do this without you guys <3, btw crackfic don't take it seriously

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2OrA8AA

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #dangan ronpa #danganronpa #dr

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resbang-bookclub · 8 years ago

Text

AMA Transcript: A Lack of Armor

Last week, we held our first AMA in the discord chat with @amberlehcar, @peregr1ne and @thesockswhowearsfox, where lots of people stopped in to ask about their work on A Lack of Armor! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: Amber, could you take me through your process of conceiving/planning out this fic? What inspired it originally?

AmberLehcar: Oh man okay, so there was a post floating around that was like "I headcanon Soul as trans and here's why" and I just really dug it.

Peregrine: Wait, was it mine?

AmberLehcar: I don't remember who it was, but they said things like him being hypermasculine to appear more "manly."

Peregrine: I did say that in mine. That's crazy.

AmberLehcar: This was supposed to be for last year's Resbang, so I've kinda forgotten exactly what was all there, but it probably was yours.

Q: So what you are saying is that you and Pere were destined to work together?

AmberLehcar: Pere claimed me last year too! I had to back out after fic claims because life was becoming too much.

Peregrine: I mean you did come to me before that.

AmberLehcar: I did ask Pere a lot of questions. I'm cis/het, so I had a lot to learn and was really lucky that Pere was open and willing to teach me along with being an overall great partner.

Peregrine: I tried my best ^^; It's not like it was hard, just talking about myself pfft.

AmberLehcar: It was helpful though!

Peregrine: I'm glad it was. Was there more you wanted to say about the process?

AmberLehcar: I did a ton of research and was really invested in it. I see a lot of posts about the lack of representation for the LGBT+ community and really felt like I wanted to add.

Peregrine: Yeah, lack of representation really gets to me, especially because what representation there is is highly fetishized and honestly i'd rather have no rep than fetish rep.

Q: For all parties involved, where/how do you feel like you grew the most during this Resbang?

Peregrine: This was my first event where I did more than one fic, so working through that was hard, but I'm glad I did because I really wanted both.

AmberLehcar: I think when I've written in the past, I've been really "this happened then this happened" etc. It was a lot more introspective this time around, so I focused a lot more on the feelings of the characters and evoking feelings in the reader. When I tried to enter this last year, I got to like 6k words but really struggled to get there. With a new direction, I got to 30k fairly easily.

Sox: Well, it was my first Resbang and the first song I'd written since I was....18 I think. Just managing to write and record the song was a lot of growth for me.

Q: Amber, I am always interested in fic titles. Did you come up with the title of your fic beforehand, or did it develop as the story was created?

AmberLehcar: Okay, so I take all my chapter and fic titles from songs or lyrics. But A Lack of Armor made perfect sense to me because of my therapy. A few times in therapy we'd talked about putting on armor that was representative of support and good things in my life. The song "A Lack of Armor" has a line that says "like a knight without his armor I don't know who I am" and this all kinda spoke to me and fit really well with Soul and his depression/anxiety. I came up with the idea pretty much from the start and it's been with me since.

Q: You said it was a Motion City Soundtrack song, right?

AmberLehcar: All the chapter titles are from MCS songs, because I am trash lol. But they sorta go with the mood of each chapter if you go back and look at them.

Sox: Can confirm Amber is MCS trash.

Q: There's a sick playlist somewhere right?

AmberLehcar: I do have a playlist! https://open.spotify.com/user/1266385830/playlist/3xN37XwvUGsVqZNuhpRtng

Q: Most of the time it seems the usual characterization for the Evans fam is for Soul's father to be the 'worse' parent, either that or both of them being equally bad. (At least that's my view.) So I am wondering: was your decision to make Soul's dad the more accepting one an intentional subversion or did it just happen?

AmberLehcar: It just sorta happened? I am not a Mama Albarn fan. Aside from Marie, there are no good mamas in the series, so I just kinda went with that.

Sox: Blair begs your pardon.

[insert chorus of screaming about everyone's love for Blair]

AmberLehcar: Blair takes such good care of her kittens. Okay I lied, Blair and Marie are good. But yeah, I didn't want him to have absolutely no support from parents, and someone had to have taught Wes to be a good person. So Papa Evans eventually came around.

Q: For Pere: was there a scene that you knew immediately you wanted to illustrate and/or was it difficult to choose scenes to draw?

Peregrine: I definitely wanted to draw the first hug scene when I read it, when Maka was accepting, because the feelies. And then later Amber had mentioned how there was going to be a scene where soul plays his song for Maka, and I knew I really wanted to draw that too, but it wasn't written yet, so I asked her to describe the scene more for me in advance so i could draw it. She didn't have a solid idea though, so some stuff I made up, and she wrote the scene to fit my picture later actually ^^;

AmberLehcar: Your art definitely helped flesh out the scene there, thank you.

Sox: I love when Pete draws things.

Sox: *Pere

[Lots of people yelling about Pete]

Sox: God damn it.

Peregrine: The first pic with the hair I also just thought would be cute to draw, and then just for visual concepts, I wanted to draw the different stages of Soul as a bonus even if they didn't actually ever appear in the story ^^;

AmberLehcar: That first pic with the hair cutting is probably my favorite. I love them all, but that just made my heart flutter.

Q: Sox I have sort of the same question for you, did certain scenes inspire certain lyrics?

Sox: Uhhhh no not so much. I tried to write around the Mood of the fic and I talked to a local Atlanta musician about her experiences being trans with a bad family as a kid and tried to fit those to where Amber had Soul coming from. (Originally I was trying to write a SoMa Romance song but then... it came out as a Self Love Fuck you Mom song).

AmberLehcar: I'm glad it changed. At some point when writing I realized the fic was more focused on their relationship than him, so I tried to change it up. I'm glad the song evolved that way too. After I got one of the last drafts of the song, I included it in chapter 8 in case people were wondering.

Q: For Amber: what made you want to put Kim as Soul's neighbor out of any other character? What made you want to do the neighbor sub plot in the first place?

AmberLehcar: Representation mostly. I love me some JacKim and thought that having a grump next door that Soul ends up kinda befriending and/or helping would be interesting. Kim was kinda a weird facet for me to write through. As someone who feels everything 110%, being in love can be kinda scary sometimes, so her thoughts on love are pretty darn close to my own: wanting to love someone wholeheartedly but being afraid of exactly how deeply you can really love someone.

Sox: I FEEL.

Q: There's a scene where they're watching a Youtube video. Is that video significant to you in some way, Amber? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wWBLbQInqk)

AmberLehcar: Not at all. I was talking with Brian about assignments for the first day of class, and he mentioned he had to do that exact assignment and chose that exact video. The song's not bad and the video is... interesting?

Q: For Pere: What program do you use and whats your general process for art?

Peregrine: I use FireAlpaca because it's free lol. I usually do like, a base sketch that's really scribbly and focuses on like motion lines, if that makes sense. And then i decrease the opacity of that one and draw the actual lineart on a different layer on top, and then colour. Very rarely I'll keep drawing on the base sketch and just clean it a little but that's mostly for more actiony gestural stuff, or highly detailed things where I'm not bothered about solid lineart.

Q: How long-ish did each of your drawings take? Do you tend to draw faster when you're feeling inspired, do you have a creative process or anything?

Peregrine: Ah, I never know what to say when someone asks how long it takes, because it varies so much. But yeah, usually a drawing will take a few days if it's something average and not like the fricking Pacific Rim art I did way back when, which took like a month. I can do most pieces in a day if i'm properly inspired but it's like: yes, I can get this done in only a few hours, but those are completely straight drawing hours - no food or bathroom breaks or chit chats to be had. Honestly the longest part of the drawing process is actually the sketchy first part because I need to plan it out perfectly until i can see the end product in my head and then i can start actually working, and that can take weeks.

[insert group yelling about how great Pere's art is]

AmberLehcar: The boys brought me to literal tears every time they updated me.

Sox: Lies.

AmberLehcar: EVERY TIME.

Peregrine: I spent 5 hours drawing Soul's hair even though I finished the entire rest of the picture in 2.

Sox: I just had a mental image of Pere screaming the lyrics to Maroon 5's "Misery" while drawing.

Peregrine: That's me.

Q: For Amber: what were your easiest/hardest scenes to write & why?? Were there any that were easier/trickier to write than you expected? Bonus: favorite scene to write?

AmberLehcar: All of chapter 4 is crap and I'll fight anyone who disagrees with me. For some reason writing just general happy, normal life was really hard. The pain though, that was kiddy stuff. The first full scene I wrote was Soul's accidental confession. The idea just messed me up and I couldn't stop writing until it was all done. It's probably my favorite scene too, followed closely by Maka's acceptance.

Q: You super did not write linearly. That's so cool, I have to go in order.

AmberLehcar: No, I rarely do.

Peregrine: Man it was kind of tough reading your drafts, tbh.

Sox: SAME PERE

AmberLehcar: I'm so sorry!!

Sox: "How am I gonna write a song none of this is in order" XD

AmberLehcar: I need to give people an instruction manual for how to read my WIPs.

Peregrine: There were so many scenes that were like, great scenes on their own, but then I'm like wait, how did we get from point A to point ? Also, reading updates was hard because everyone else I've fic'd with was like 'oh just scroll down to wear you last read' but in this fic it was like... I know something was added... but where tho...

Sox: Slide to the left

Sox: Slide to the right

AmberLehcar: Never beta for me, it's a nightmare.

AmberLehcar: (That's a lie, please always beta for me, I need all the help I can get.)

Sox: Yeah but working with you is a dream tbh.

AmberLehcar: The nice thing about not writing linearly is that I could really easily work with my partners to add in ideas they had. I don't know that it was easy for them, but making it more of a collab that way was really neat for me.

Q: Do you outline everything out beforehand?

AmberLehcar: As much as I can. I derail if I don't.

Q: AmberLehcar, how did you decided where to put scenes/order them?

AmberLehcar: I have an outline template I wrote up based on a youtuber's outlining method! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eP73LMnphqEUn20mKd78_EB_qPlbXjklvkXLknxl5R0/edit?usp=sharing. This is the outline that I've been using recently, it's been really helpful. You guys are welcome to use it!

Q: Amber, would you say this outlining method helped? Just in comparison to past fics etc.

AmberLehcar: Definitely. I have so many incomplete fics simply because I didn't outline or didn't outline enough.

Q: So was the end planned? That is the hardest part for me.

AmberLehcar: More or less. It definitely changed a lot. I don't have any versions of the original ending, and there's still stuff from the finished product I don't remember because I literally finished at 3 a.m. the day of posting. I always have a very clear image of how the opening to any chapter or fic goes, but the end is always weird.

Q: Do you remember anything from the first version? How'd they differ?

AmberLehcar: I know the first half was a little different at the start of Resbang last year, but I have the worst memory... There was definitely supposed to be more NB Crona. Crona was supposed to be kinda the comic relief, making comments about their computer sciences classes that Soul does not understand. They named their laptop Nora and talk about it like it's a person. "Sometimes when Nora doesn't do what I want, I have to hit her" or something like that, make Soul concerned for this poor child. The "octagonal day" joke made it to the final cut. I think there was a scene at the end where Crona and Soul were supposed to be good friends after the "there's 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't." Because it's a math joke and a binary joke.

Sox: Amber Sox: Is Sox: A Sox: NERD

Q: What was the funnest part of the fic for you to write, Amber? Or the part you were looking forward to the most?

AmberLehcar: Writing Black Star was fun. There's a few one liners that I love. My favorite bit is when Maka asks for his name and the next bit is "Nervous. Stupid. Sweating." I needed that smooch like life itself. I played with them kissing when Maka apologizes and they made up, but it didn't feel right. So I saved a sweet normal smooch for the end scene.

Sox: I literally cackled out loud on a train reading "no party like a floor meeting party because a floor meeting party is MANDATORY."

AmberLehcar: That was one of my other fave lines. My goals for the fic were representation, make it as realistic as possible, and make people feel things. I like to think I did a good job?

Sox: You accomplished all.

Peregrine: Man the parents thing hit me so hard, you did a good job.

Q: I'd love to hear about your process/writing rituals?

AmberLehcar: When it was a scene I was particularly excited to write or just suddenly inspired, I can just sit and write. But most of the time it's me sitting at the computer with tea asking myself why I do this to myself and then I just make myself write.

Q: Is there anything else you wanted to add other than more NB Crona, Amber?

AmberLehcar: When Pere showed me art of Soul's physical progression, I kinda wanted an epilogue of Soul post surgery, but time and lack of confidence in writing it well... I don't think anyone understands exactly how nervous I was to write this. I waffled a while with "you have no business writing this, you are cis, please stop."

Peregrine: Nooo it's cool because you asked. I definitely didn't think I could write trans Soul but I hoped someone would, if they asked and did it right. Which you did.

Sox: One of my close friends is trans, and when I sent him Eden, I thought he was going to tell me he hated me. And then he didn't and I was v relieved.

AmberLehcar: I definitely wanted to be as respectful and real as possible. Again, representation matters, and I wanted to help create a thing I hadn't seen done in our fandom.

Sox: You did good.

AmberLehcar: I'm really glad. I stalked the boys' tags on their work along with my own, and someone had reblogged Pere's art and was really grateful for trans Soul. I was glad to be a part of that.

Q: Did you make any playlists or anything like that to get into the writing mood? Or headspace of a character?

AmberLehcar: For headspace, Soul and I are very similar. I too am a bag of anxiety and depression trying to pass as a human. A lot of my college and therapy experience went into the fic. There's little bits of me in pretty much everyone.

Peregrine: I have my trans boy song i listened to a lot pfft. It's from Treasure Planet.

Q: Ooo which song Pere?

Peregrine: I'm Still Here. If you look at it through a trans lens its super fitting. It's like my fave song ever.

Some additional post-AMA discussion:

Q: Amber, I think that's a sign of a good writer, to take from one's own experiences and such.

AmberLehcar: Write what you know, right? And what you don't know, you find out. The whole experience definitely gave me a new appreciation for the LGBT+ community, that's for sure. I knew some stuff, but I learned so much.

AmberLehcar: To go back and slightly change my answer for difficult scene to write, while all of ch4 was like swimming in syrup to get written, Mama Evans outburst was so difficult to write. There was just so much anger and I felt icky writing a lot of that chapter in general. Writing Maka having to purposely misgender him hurt.

Peregrine: I really liked the parents thing actually even though i hated it. It felt raw and real.

AmberLehcar: So much pain, the whole time I'm just like "why would I hurt my son like this???"

Q: Noticed you guys were still talking and guh I loved your collective art/story!!! I now know the gap between dimensions can't be breached because if it could I'd have reached through the screen and force-choked Mama Evans. I was kind of mad at Maka too though like... I can understand that Soul needed some time to himself, away from her, to really figure things out, but ;-;

AmberLehcar: Yes! Maka was an interesting situation to figure out.

Peregrine: Yeah I loved what you did there actually, because as much as I wanted her to be perfect, she wasn't perfect.

AmberLehcar: I didn't want her to just immediately come back like "sorry you startled me, let's get married."

Peregrine: As much as I want people to immediately accept me, they don't, even if they do eventually. It wasn't fantasy perfect world, it was real world.

Q: I think... that's good. At first I thought Maka would be more likely to start off rough around the edges and then end the story gracefully. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that if you're going to relate realistic stories about trans people/anyone in a similar situation, you probably have to... I don't want to say "break the reader's heart" because that would imply that those stories can't have happy endings, which they can and should at least as often as any other kind of story, but it put me in Soul's shoes and made me accept how likely it is that someone who is trans/lgbt/otherwise oppressed will be badly hurt by someone they think the world of, someone who's hard to leave behind. I dunno if I spoke out of turn there, but i think it was an empathically-written story. In my inexperienced opinion.

AmberLehcar: That's definitely what I was going for. I wanted Maka to be his closest friend, for his sake and for my shipping heart's sake. But she was just too good to be true when I was writing her, so her running away happened. I was so stuck after I wrote his confession, I didn't know how to have her react. But when I thought about some of the internalized transphobia I know I've been guilty of, it made sense to add for her. It felt real.

Look out for some more transcripts, coming soon!! Thanks again to Amber, Pere and Sox for their awesome AMA <3

#a lack of armor #rbbc #resbang AMAs #AMA transcripts

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