#I find body/breathing focus very stressful so like body focus but the thing isnt real is kinda good

[malacandrax]

lrt wrt carrying tiny things around -tbh this is relevant to what I do when im overthinking/spiralling on a walk, I don't have a tiny baby on hand but I *imagine* theres a tiny baby resting gently in the cup of my hand and its like ok sleepy energy gotta be chill and calm theyre sleeping shh

[loudlypanickinginvenezolano]

Life is a Big, Bad, Joke. Chapter 2, edited. (Not the final version.)

Shadow is amnesiac, Tails is missing, the world is going bonkers, and Sonic... Sonic...He really isnt having a great day...

AO3

“…But I can’t. I don’t even know you, I don’t even know what is going on outside of-of-Or inside. Whenever I like it or not, sir, I am missing things in the bucket so I-You could be tricking me into a trap! You could be… someone… bad, I guess.” Shadow gently shook his head, mindful of his injuries, as he licked his suddenly dry lips. He was going to see Maria soon, after all, what was the point in getting them worse just to scare her poor heart? “How do I know I am not helping or talking with some criminal? Issy--She would break my neck again for being so naïve.”

Sonic tried not to make so obvious his frown, but it was becoming increasingly difficult the more Shadow talked. Because. Yes, yes, man, you are completely right; you are just turning your suspicious in the wrong guy here! I am, you know, actually trying to save both of our necks in here? Hello?

Why didn’t you ask yourself those questions when you helped Eggman!?

“I am not tricking you, Shadow! You are my friend, I would never ever, unless-unless we are playing or there is something big on stake but those are extreme situations. I just… I just need your help. I’m serious, just… just get me outta here, outta this cage and I will let you be. I swear.”

“I-I don’t even know your name or-or-or serial! I don’t even know if you have a—that ”

“ C´mon, c´moon, I need to find Tails, Shadow! You have to help me. He is missing, and we need to find him. We can’t lose more time” He didn’t wanted to growl, nor to sound so stressed, so uncharacteristically desperate, but he wasdesperate and he didn’t have the strength to try and fake it. How could he not be anxious? So many incognitos, so many what if, situations running through his mind once and once again without really a sense, adrenaline pumping through his veins…And there he was, losing time arguing with Shadow because he also needed to help his friend, losing his breath and what little strength he had, trapped who knows where.

He was starting to feel real sick.

It was like the dark corners in his peripheral vision were growing more and more over time and trying to swallow him whole. Take him away in their jagged edges, into the inky black bliss of unconsciousness. But Sonic couldn’t just give up now, could he?

He just couldn’t now, throw everything away and let himself be swept away into unawareness, no matter how good did that sound... He couldn’t. Nah. Wrong guy.

He was going to fight it all until the very end.

Right?

“Who-Who’s Tails even?!” Shadow, on the other hand, cried out, feeling more and more overwhelmed and out of control and balance. Honestly hating every minute of it, how he was babbling in his insecurity, stammering and tripping over his words like a goof, like a joke, as if he hadn’t been painstakingly correctly taught how to pronounce them. Painstakingly taught how to behave. He was reacting like a disgrace to the tittle he carried! And he was painfully aware of that.

Things just…they didn’t make sense. No matter how he looked at them, everything felt wrong. Tainted. Even the air around them, the flow of energy, every little thing around him was screaming… He wasn’t even sure about where to focus!

He wasn’t fucking sure about what they were trying to tell him.

He knew, he could swear, he knew how to speak! He knew…Things, all right? They just…weren’t so clear right now, he couldn’t get a grip on them right now. They were there, just…floating out of his reach.

He wasn’t misbehaving on purpose, either. Too many things to keep on mind, to many holes in the information he carried and misleadsand his headache was coming back, it was like his brain was telling him something but his stomach another completely different, so many things he could take into consideration, he…

It hurt Sonic. More than he ever thought it could. It pulled at his heartstrings without restrictions, pulling and pulling until he felt it broke into a million pieces.

He wanted to act, oh how bad did he wanted to break free and calm down his friend, maybe just talk to him and help him distract, or held his wrist or forearms softly, guide him into his side and keep him there so they both could calm down and think clearly, but, things as they were he couldn’t do something right now. No matter how much his fingers ached for running through the fur on Shadow´s belly or back until his chest started raising and failing slowly, in calm.

It was a luxury they didn’t have. And of course, being who he was, this desire just made him more adamant on his quest of getting them both out of this shithole and into safety.

Sonic still longed for holding and soothing the other hedgehog, though.

“He is like-He is my brother. He is and I don’t where he is, nor how, and I know Eggman has something do to with this. It’s a no-good, you need to believe me.”

Shadow hated, as well, how loudly his heart broke. How visibly he stuttered, and maybe even how he breathed in, how he flinched. One would think he was better at subtlety, but, Oh Teia, didn’t he knew how it felt like asking into deaf ears to be believed…?

<< And…He is also missing his family. >>

Goodness, wasn’t he weak? Wasn’t this too much of a coincidence?

Earlier that day, or maybe yesterday, he wasn’t sure, Shadow was told to wait here, that Hanna and his team and a squat of scientist were going to come for him, most likely Gerald himself and even Maria! They all were coming… He was promised he was going to go tothem, he just needed to wait here and obey. Simple, right?

But…the mister…A hedgehog, like him nonetheless! How unique was that?

Someone who claimed to be a friend…

A friend that, needed him?

Heeding not his uneasiness, he stood and walked to the bars that made his containing cell-like cage, so small it barely took him 2 steps to reach the end. Wrapping his hands around the chilly bars, he did his best to ignore the pain he felt and to look sure, confident almost, and not as intimidated as he very much felt, shifting his stance almost lazily and taking note of how the mister perked up noticeably at his closeness. He wasn’t aggressive, though. More like, hopeful? Poor guy was lucky to not be on the hands of his superiors, that much was true. Very little would be left of him, if so.

He wasn’t sure why the thought bothered him that much.

Maybe they did know each other? He did look familiar, and there was that strange feeling in his stomach when he saw him, the same one that made him give part of his bread in hopes of comforting him.

Maybe they did… if so, had they been close?

Were they?

The wounds on his midsection and upper back thanked his new position, as it relieved some tension and weight put onto them, but other parts of his body screeched at him in agony. He ignored it all, as he had a bigger prey to focus on, and his resources were inexistent in the moment. His hands were tied in that regard.

“So, sir. Are you really my friend?” Shadow kept his gaze trained in the heavily chained mister, on his disheveled blue fur, blood streaked skin and quills, and his pale, tired complexion. He observed, in silence, watching his expression changing by a multitude of emotions, how he tensed, where did he looked at, his hands, his shoulders and spines.

What called his attention the most, though, was the flame alive in his green eyes, the intensity on them, the brightness with which he looked at him.

The strength they spoke of.

It was amazing and inquiring. A sight he didn’t see commonly, not from the others projects or the scientist aboard. Just from Maria, and even sometimes the one she carried was so fake, it hurt to look at.

It was like the dark of the vast outside was slowly creeping in, or maybe sucking out all of the life up there. Snuffing all warm that there ever was with its permanent burning cold and leaving just pain, dried souls and dead eyes behind.

Shadow hated it. How he could feel the people around him dying alive, slowly like in their tortures or trainings, how he could feel how his own person was dying and withering and fearing… To see this guy, burning so much, so alive, and passionate… it was scaring and maddening the hell out of him, but… but it also made Shadow want to protect it. To not let it die.

Oh, what wouldn’t he do to make sure Maria and Gerald could have that look on their eyes?

“Yes.”

<<Why do you even doubt it? >> “Swell!” Shadow smiled, and Sonic felt dizzy for a completely different reason.