#I finally saw it and i was damn this ugly MF did all THAT because the girl found a stable relationship

[xsister-serpent]

If you think about it the plot of Nosferatu is basically a man getting jealous cause he’s no longer a bootycall

[sydnikov]

cover image by me, images are not.

Pairing: Sebastian Aho/Reader

Word Count: 10.5k

Summary: Four times Sebastian Aho hit you in the face with a puck and one time he didn’t. Two of those times you scorned his existence, one time you let him buy you something as an apology, the other you kissed him on the cheek, and, finally, you kissed.

Warnings: Heavy cursing, injuries, brief mentions of blood, kissing, suggestive content

A/N: SURPRISE MFS!!! But holy crap, I had so much fun writing this!! I’m lowkey sad to say goodbye to it bc it was my comfort fic during this series against tbl. I kind of hate the ending but :/ idk how else to close it out, sO— I hope you guys like this as much as I do!! As always, feedback is very much welcome, and ily all <33

Who knows, I might even write a part 2 if it's received well 👀

Puck Me:

The first time Sebastian Aho hit you in the face with a puck, it was purely coincidental. You were only a few rows back from the glass (courtesy of your friend), and unfortunately happened to be moving your head to the side just in time for the puck to smack you straight across the face and send you to the medical ward mid-game.

Did you expect the attention from everyone around you— hell, even the whole arena? Yes. Did you expect the pain? Of course. A frozen puck being flung from the ice at who knows how fast was going to hurt no matter what direction it was coming from.

Did you expect the player who managed to strike you to visit you in the ward? Never in a million years.

“What?” You grumbled, irritated at your friend’s sudden poking at your arm while you were trying to catch a look at the massive wound along your nose and cheekbone under the ice pack the medical staff instructed you to hold.

“Look!” your friend hissed, and turning your head lazily to see what they were pointing at, you didn’t see at first why they were being so persistent at getting your attention.

At the medical ward’s doors was a rapidly growing crowd of the arena’s staff, and as you squinted through the brief haziness in your vision - and damn it, you really didn’t want to be having concussion symptoms right now, you had work in the morning - to see what was going on, it only took a few seconds to see who was causing such a commotion.

Because coming right through those very doors and being dragged by what looked like a few other people dressed in suits and probably even one of his teammates was Sebastian Aho, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else other than here.

“What’s he doing here?” You mumbled tiredly, and your friend looked at you like you had grown a second head. To be fair, the massive cut that was swelling a deep purple and blue probably did look like you were growing some kind of tumor, but details, details...

“He’s the one that shot the puck over the glass and hit you in the face, didn’t you see him before it hit you?” No, no you didn’t, because you weren’t exactly paying attention before a puck was suddenly flying into your face with a spray of ice and then ow, ow, ow…

You sighed, watching as an employee tugged him by the elbow and led him to where you were sitting on the small hospital bed, your friend sitting in a chair next to you.

Sebastian shuffled in place, looking just as awkward as you felt and was resolutely avoiding eye contact. Unbeknownst to you though, he was actually feeling really guilty because even though he showed absolutely zero attention to the fans when on the ice, he still loved his Caniacs fiercely and would have never wanted to hit one of them with a puck. But he was also really shy, not just because of his less-than accurate English and introvertedness but because you were really pretty too, even with an ice pack pressed to an ugly bruise blooming around a nasty cut.

You didn’t know any of this, of course, just saw the persona of a man who seemed to give zero shits about being here and was only being forced to come apologize by his team to uphold an image that he truly felt guilty and wanted to apologize to you in person on his own accord.

Yeah, no. You were tired, in pain, could really use a drink right about now, and just wanted to go home, not deal with socially awkward hockey players.

Just as Sebastian was gathering the courage to open up his mouth and speak, you beat him to it, brushing back an annoying strand of hair that kept falling into your line of sight.

“Look,” You started, watching as his head shot up in surprise that yes, you did speak first. “You don’t have to pretend you want to be here, to do all this,” you waved your free hand around, briefly closing your eyes as a flash of dizziness almost overwhelmed you. “Mumbo-jumbo, apologizing crap; I know you’d rather be anywhere else other than here so let’s just call it a night and go home, okay?”

Your friend’s incredulous stare was burning into the side of your head and Sebastian stared, utterly dumbfounded and confused because wow, he didn’t think anyone had ever spoken to him like that before.

“What?” He asked dumbly, eyes briefly flickering from your friend’s apologetic expression to your indifferent one. And then he started to get annoyed because he didn’t know what to do right at this moment when you looked so utterly unbothered by his presence and that made him feel uncomfortable because you were supposed to be the blubbering one, not him. Right?

You scowled at the man, and maybe in the morning once you analyzed the conversation you’d regret being so short and snappy with the star player of the Carolina Hurricanes, but look, you were tired and irritated and just wanted to sleep, alright? You didn’t really want to deal with cute finnish hockey players, especially ones with such soft, puppy brown eyes—

Woah. You blinked once, twice. That was definitely not a road you wanted to go down, not right now, not ever, really.

“Just,” You muttered quietly, sending a pleading expression your friend’s way to please tell the medical staff to hurry up so you could just go home already. “Go back to the locker room or something or wherever you came from,”

Thankfully, your friend got the hint and quietly slipped away to tell one of the people in the room that you were really tired and just wanted to get your stitches so they could drive you home. It worked, and soon two or three of their employees were hovering around you, the gaping expression of Sebastian Aho being blocked as an older woman gently removed the ice pack from your face and began to work on your cheek.

“You done?” A staff member Sebastian couldn’t remember the name of asked him distractedly, and when he nodded mutely he was soon being led away from the room, staring back at you with something akin to longing, curiosity, and even regret before the doors closed and you were blocked from his view.

Little did the two of you know, this would most definitely not be the last you’d be seeing of each other.

• ~;~ •

The second time Sebastian Aho managed to hit you in the face with a puck was a month later, and once again, completely coincidental, with you being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Again.

You’d be less mad about it if your seats weren’t farther up from where they were last time, but of course they were and you still managed to be right in the way of the damn puck as it came soaring over the glass. And again, to be fair, they were only a few seats back, but still.

And the fact that your friend kept bugging you about the look of both horror and anticipation that appeared on Aho’s face once the jumbotron showed where the puck had gone (and conveniently hit) was just irritating you more. You didn’t want to sit through fifteen minutes of awkward mumbling and half-assed apologies from Sebastian Aho again.

Even if he was pretty cute.

“I’m telling you,” Your friend whisper-yelled beside you, ignoring the fact that several people were in the medical ward and could easily be listening in. “He’s going to come in here again to see you and—”

“I doubt it.” You interrupted quickly, attempting to smile as one of the doctors dabbed at your bloody chin with a cotton swab, but it probably looked more like a wince.

Your friend glared at you, yet again ignoring everyone else except for the two of you. “Well, if he does, try not to scare him off this time, okay? I want to ask him for an autograph since someone didn’t give me a chance last time.”

You just rolled your eyes, gesturing towards your battered chin. “Who got hit in the face with a puck again? If anyone deserves to get an autograph, it’s me.” You teased, enjoying the way in which your friend immediately opened their mouth to retort, and then—

“I’ll be happy to give you an autograph if you want one.”

A quiet voice that somehow managed to be the loudest in the entire room had you startled, and you immediately whipped your head around to face Sebastian Aho who was standing a few feet away from you, still looking awkward and even embarrassed at how the two of you had gotten so quiet at his sudden appearance.

Your friend shot you a very smug look.

...Damn it.

You quickly recovered though, crossing your arms with a scowl that made you flinch at the movement from your chin it caused. “I’m good.” You responded defensively, ignoring your friend’s quiet groan from beside you at your closed-off attitude.

And really, you didn’t know why you were denying an autograph from Sebastian Aho of all people, because in different circumstances you would have been jumping for joy at the chance to get a jersey signed, especially from the star player himself.

Maybe it was because he had hit you in the face with a puck twice, albeit accidentally, or maybe it was because of the butterflies in your stomach at his soft, shy and yet determined gaze that had you melting on the spot.

Dating, your love life, had been fucked up for you a long time ago. A long time ago only being just a few years, but bad date after bad date eventually had you thinking that maybe you just weren’t the type of person who could do relationships, despite your desire at having someone to be your partner in crime in life, to have someone who just got you.

So yeah, you didn’t like the idea of this hockey player strutting (or more like awkwardly shuffling) into your life and giving you nervous little butterflies when all of the other previous love interests in your life had done the exact same, and only for everything to fall apart.

Sebastian looked stumped at your reply, but he recovered a lot quicker than you thought he would which sent a brief pang of annoyance through you because damn it you liked being in control.

The centerman quickly straightened up his shoulders, and even sitting on a bed with added height still made you realize how much shorter you were. “Can I buy you something then?” He asked, and oh that made you bristle— if you were a cat you were sure you’d be hissing and raising your fur right now.

Because he couldn’t just buy you something as some sort of apology to get out of giving you injuries twice in the span of a month. You had to take time off from work to heal, and that meant less money on your paycheck, something you couldn’t really afford.

Somewhere deep down inside you knew those weren’t his intentions at all, not when he looked so earnest when offering, but you were so determined to shut down any sort of feelings that were bubbling up for this man that you’d come up with any excuse at this point, even if it was wrong to be judging so harshly.

“No.” You firmly denied, and it wasn’t as satisfying as you thought it would be to see his face fall at your rejection. Luckily you were saved from his defeated-looking puppy dog expression when the medical staff pushed past Sebastian and finished up fixing up your chin, and you were even more glad that this wouldn’t keep you off work for as long or take as long to heal.

It still hurt like an absolute bitch, though. That you weren’t happy about.

And as your heart sank just a little bit more with each step Sebastian took when exiting the room, well, you just hoped this wouldn’t be happening again any time soon.

• ~;~ •

The third time Sebastian Aho hit you in the face with a puck, you had seen it coming a mile away but unfortunately couldn’t get out of the way in time before it was knocking you right back down into your seat. You were convinced at this point that either A. The little shit was aiming it towards you on purpose, or B. You just had really bad luck.

The latter seemed more believable, but the former made it easier to try to hate him.

Three months since the last incident and the star centerman was still finding ways to fuck up your life.

This definitely had to be the most mild wound of all out of the other two, only grazing your jaw when you stood up just before the end of third period to try and sneak off to The Eye to try and buy a shirt you had been eyeing a few games back.

But the ushers still made you go up the medical ward, and with that already being worse enough, since this time it was only a miniscule rash and bruise the arena had no problem showing a more up close shot of the puck flying right off of Sebastian’s stick, over the glass, and right to your face, and any hope you had of possibly escaping without any of the players, without Sebastian Aho, noticing went right down the drain.

Especially when they showed his damn reaction in a split-screen view of the shot, which was a pinch of his brow and a clenching of his jaw in concern, and then when he recognized you that same expression stayed but this time with the added addition of lips turning into just the most subtle of smiles— or maybe smirk, you couldn’t really tell with all of the staff rushing you to the medical ward.

Waving your friend off from following you, because really, you were fine, they were all just overreacting— you huffed as one of the doctors made you sit down on the same bed from last time as they all rushed around, and it was because of all the commotion that you didn’t spot a certain hockey player sneaking in unnoticed.

The same doctor who tended to you the previous times approached you, and when she recognized you she just rolled her eyes with a laugh. “This is what, the third time in just the span of a few months? You have an affinity for bad luck or something?”

Her tone was dry but her face showed nothing but amusement, and even with your irritation at practically being manhandled into the medical ward you couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Because what were the chances you’d get struck in the face by a puck mid-game two, now three times?

You didn’t realize you had been lost in your thoughts until the doctor backed away from cleaning up the scratch on your jaw, peeling off her gloves and throwing them in a trash bin by the bed. Again, you thanked whatever gods that were watching you (or probably weren’t, because hello? A puck to the face three times now?) that they wouldn’t be keeping you for long to make sure you were okay again.

You waited patiently for the doctor to gather your release forms and a few waivers saying you wouldn’t sue, etc. and while she did that, you let your eyes casually sweep around the room, taking in the staff cleaning up, the posters and signs related to the Hurricanes, Sebastian Aho leaning against the wall on the other side of the room talking quietly to—

Wait just a fucking minute.

Your mouth fell open, and you gaped at the man standing here in the room despite really not being that surprised he was here. He had seen you get hit by the puck, after all, but you supposed you were so surprised because you weren’t as injured, clearly, and didn’t think he would feel the need to have to check up on you again.

Even if all you did previously was snap at him, but.

Sebastian finished whatever conversation he was having and suddenly he was making eye contact with you and practically strutting to your bed, only stopping once he was right in front of you.

Gulping, you watched, speechless, as the hockey player looked to be having some inner war inside his head as he observed you, and then that expression turned to determination and confidence as he opened his mouth to speak.

“I’m getting you something at The Eye.” Was all the son-of-a-bitch said, and you struggled to find the words to respond, suddenly irritated at how he was stating so rather than asking because damn it, you didn’t need his charity!

Yes, that was definitely why you were mad. Not because of his caring gaze or the brief flashes of adoration swimming through those warm brown eyes.

“But—”

“Nope. No buts. Sign your papers, we’re going as soon as you finish.”

And damn it, you could do nothing but stare at the man, almost watching yourself through a screen as you nodded weakly and signed the release forms on autopilot, completely stumped at where in the hell Sebastian had found this sudden confidence that was able to render you speechless.

Your stomach churned, but not uncomfortably.

When you finished, Sebastian was suddenly taking a hold of your wrist and dragging you out of the ward, the same doctor flashing you a brief, knowing smile before the doors slammed shut and the centerman led you through the empty arena hallways.

And then, for the first time since seeing him tonight, Sebastian paused, steps stuttering before he came to a stop and then he was turning to look at you, eyes so open and warm, darting back and forth from your own wide eyes and then back to his soft hold on your wrist.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out and now he seemed to be at a loss for words. His grip on your wrist began to slip and oh, that’s why he was so quiet, he was worried about crossing your boundaries, and this fact really had no business making your heart flutter.

Almost feeling like you were being possessed, some unknown force guiding you as you held eye contact, you intertwined your pinkies gently because even though some part of you wanted to, you weren’t ready for, well… Whatever the hell was going on between the two of you now.

That seemed to be all the confirmation Sebastian needed, for he soon flashed you a wide smile that took your breath away before squeezing your hand back, continuing through the hallways and eventually reaching The Eye with what looked like a lone, snoozing employee at the cashier.

It almost felt like a ghost town with how empty everything was.

When Sebastian pushed open the doors abruptly, the cashier suddenly shot up from his seat, looking around wildly for the source of noise before settling on the two of you entering the shop, and then you watched as recognition for the star player of the team settled across his face in the form of wide eyes and a gaping mouth, and you had to hold back a laugh because yeah, me too.

The hockey player who currently held your hand captive tugged you forward, and you looked up to find him already looking at you, and you realized he was probably waiting for you to go looking around for what you wanted.

Then you remembered that you really didn’t want him to spend his money on you, even if his nonchalance about it proved how he really didn’t care if it was for you, the confidence in his gaze unwavering and making your stomach flip, but no, you weren’t going there.

Crossing your arms, you ignored the only employee in the store and glared at Sebastian, refusing to give in to the pout on his face even if it did make you melt inside.

“I’m not letting you buy me something when I’m perfectly capable of doing so on my own.” You stated, watching as he copied your expression and crossed his arms.

“Yes, but I feel bad,” He squinted at you, a brief quirk of his lips letting you know he was amused at the immediate surprise on your face at his words. “And I really want to repay you for, well...” He shrugged sheepishly, a hand suddenly brushing against your cheek and you internally screamed at the way your walls were slowly but surely crumbling down at his gentle ministrations.

Throwing your arms up with a groan, you practically growled at the infuriating smirk on his face once Sebastian saw you had finally given in. “Fine,” You eventually agreed - though certainly not willingly - and poked a finger at his chest. “But this is a one time thing only. Got it?”

And the centerman just shrugged, smirk still plastered across his beautiful face and you narrowed your eyes at the infuriating hockey player, knowing he wasn’t really agreeing to anything and probably just wanted to rile you up.

You wouldn’t admit that it was working, but Sebastian could certainly tell and was enjoying the fact that he was finally breaking past your barriers he for some reason really wanted to get past, even if it was just resulting in your anger and irritation. For now, anyways, Sebastian thought with a satisfied hum as he watched you almost stomp around the store, hunting for what he assumed was a jersey.

Hopefully a jersey with his name on it, and woah, that thought surprised him— though shockingly enough, it wasn’t unwelcome.

Sebastian was soon broken out of his thoughts by you waving him over, and as he saw the devious grin on your face he couldn’t help but narrow his eyes right back, wondering what had you grinning like a Cheshire cat.

When he saw the ugliest shirt he had ever seen in The Eye— no, in his existence, Sebastian did nothing but scoff in disbelief, eyebrows raising incredulously as he saw the price. And of course, he really didn’t know why he was surprised when he saw it was probably the cheapest thing in the store.

Based on the mischievous glint in your eyes, you most definitely picked it out for that purpose only.

He rolled his eyes, putting the offending piece of clothing back on the rack and walking back to the front of the store where he knew his jerseys were being sold at top price. If you weren’t going to be fair, then he wasn't going to be fair either.

Though secretly you both knew you enjoyed the challenge, enjoyed riling each other up. You because it made it easier to ignore whatever feelings were blossoming for the soft yet cocky hockey player, and Sebastian because he liked seeing the red flush bloom across your cheeks in irritation. You were also really pretty. And cute. And beautiful, and—

Sebastian ignored the warmth in his cheeks, finding a jersey with his name printed across the back in what looked to be your size.

He watched your eyes widen as he held it up for you to see, and smiled at your being speechless.

“I think this will do, you agree?” You, of course, didn’t respond, merely narrowed your eyes in response and tightened your arms across your chest, the both of you knowing Sebastian had won this round.

Scowling, you merely turned away and let him lead you to the register where the still-gaping cashier remained, mumbling out a thanks as the younger boy handed you the bag and finally walked out into the cool autumn air with the centerman strolling casually beside you.

Once you reached the parking lot, you came to a slow stop, watching as Sebastian did the same and turned to face you. You didn’t know why, but the thought of having Sebastian walk you to your car had you stomach swimming with butterflies and that was something you did not want to investigate right now, so what better way to put a stop to it then make sure it doesn’t happen at all?

“Well,” You started, avoiding eye contact by looking just over his shoulder. “Thank you for this,” You mumbled, holding up the bag with his jersey for reference, “Let’s hope we don’t have to go through this again, right?” Your attempt at joking was thwarted by the sudden look of disappointment that crossed Sebastian’s face, but just as soon as it came it was gone and you were stuck wondering if you had merely imagined the longing in his eyes.

“Yeah,” He muttered, fiddling with his hands as his eyes swept up and down your body, seemingly searching for something unknown. And when he looked back up at your face, meeting your eyes, he seemed to find whatever he was looking for in the confusion and nervousness ever present in your expression, and as a stupidly cute, knowing smile spread across his face you began slowly backing away, having not realized how close the two of you had gotten.

“See you,” You awkwardly waved, avoiding his eyes as you quickly turned around and marched off towards your car. You didn’t catch Sebastian’s response, didn’t really want to either, but as he watched your silhouette disappear with the setting sun’s light, he could only think one thing:

Sebastian was going to find you again, preferably without hitting you in the face with a puck again. Even if he knew that was too good to be true.

• ~;~ •

The fourth time Sebastian Aho hit you in the face with another damn puck, well, you weren’t even surprised at this point since your body seemed to just attract small frozen and flying objects.

This time only a week since the last time he fucked up your face (surprising, you knew) though to be fair, you were a few rows back from the glass which made it much more easier for a puck to find its way to your face.

No, you weren’t surprised, weren’t even mad either to be honest, but you were completely and utterly shell shocked by the person who shot it up at your face in the first place, because this time Sebastian freaking Aho did it on purpose.

Well, he didn't mean to smack you in the face with it on purpose, but you get the point.

Just moments before, you were leaning your elbows on your knees and resting your chin on your hands, ignoring your friends’ conversation beside you and instead watching the players as they skated around the ice during warmups. Playing against the Tampa Bay Lightning this game, the two teams were evenly matched, almost too even, and you could already tell both were going to have a hard time getting any shots on the goal, if any at all.

It also didn’t help that both goalies were practically Gods, you hummed to yourself, eyeing Vasilevskiy and Nedeljkovic respectively.

And then when you looked back over at the Canes’ side of the ice, sweeping over the numerous jerseys and almost subconsciously seeking out a certain number 20, you found the one with ‘Aho’ printed across the back bouncing a puck up and down on his stick and you had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes as you watched him deliberately toss it towards the glass, but of course never actually look at the squealing fans right in front of him.

Show-off, you scoffed to yourself. It's as if he wanted to seem conceited.

And then, like you were living in some cheesey rom-com, as if the hockey player himself KNEW you were shit-talking him, Sebastian Aho’s eyes met yours and you were stuck, trapped, in his eyes - those warm brown eyes - unable to look away as you both took the other in.

It was only as you watched a slow smile creep across Sebastian’s face did you realize you really weren’t that far away from the glass to begin with, only four or five rows back, and it was with that thought did a sense of dread begin to fill you because lord all-fucking-mighty, Sebastian was aiming the puck on his stick up towards you, holding mischievous eye contact as he did so and you were about to shake your head, mouth the words ‘no’ or something because you did not have good hand-eye coordination—

And of course, he fucking threw it anyway. And, like you expected, you remained frozen in your spot as the puck soared over the glass and hit you with a loud smack! right on target: your nose.

Fucking son of a bitch— hands swinging upwards to cup your throbbing face, you held back a loud curse for the sake of any kids around, attempting to blink away the tears but not succeeding very well. You hadn’t felt this level of pain since the first time you were hit, and all you could really think about is why your reflexes had to be so bad— and if you were going to have another nasty bruise that you had to try to hide with makeup.

As you were leaning heavily against the side of your friend as several of the medical staff helped lead you away to the medical ward - practically your second home at this point - you failed to notice the way Sebastian’s face was pinched up into the most guilty of looks, his teammates (mostly Teuvo and Andrei) awkwardly trying to console him while holding back their own awkward laughs at the situation.

Well, how was he supposed to know you wouldn’t be able to catch a puck you knew he was throwing…?

By the time the game was over you were still on your familiar hospital bed, ice pack pressed to your nose, eyes shiny from leftover tears, and cheeks blotchy. Really, the pain could have been worse, it was just such a shock because this time Sebastian had actually acknowledged you— before he, you know, launched a puck at your face.

You groaned, turning towards your friend who was rapidly texting someone you didn’t really care to know. “Why did he think it was a good idea to throw a puck at me? Weren’t these last few times any indication that I can’t catch anything?”

“First of all, he was trying to throw it to you, not at you.” When you only scowled in response, your friend merely huffed before turning to give you their full attention.

“You’re so hopeless when it comes to love, honestly,” Your friend sighed with a playful roll of their eyes, putting their phone down and regarding you with squinted eyes. “He likes you, and he wanted to throw you a puck to flirt with you. Obviously.”

Your mouth opened and closed, gaping comically like a fish as you struggled to find the words to combat their blatant honesty.

“That’s ridiculous-”

“He bought you a jersey. His jersey.” Your friend deadpanned, refusing to let you disregard the signs.

“And I think you like him a little bit, too.” Now that had you protesting immediately, removing the ice pack from your nose to send a withering glare your friend’s way.

You did not like Sebastian Aho. Sure, he just happened to be attractive, with his warm brown eyes and soft hair, pouty lips—

Fuck.

“Like who?” Came a voice off to your left, and both you and your friend’s eyes widened as you recognized who the voice belonged to; yours with fear at your conversation being heard by the man himself, and your friend’s in eagerness and amusement.

“Nothing.” You immediately cut your friend off, shooting another glare their way to just please be quiet, for the sake of your sanity.

Sebastian mumbled something under his breath you didn’t quite catch, and as his eyes swept over the large bruise forming on your nose with concern and guilt you couldn’t help but swallow at the emotion on his face, because if your friend was right, then well— you were screwed, too.

The three of you stood in awkward silence for several minutes, you watching Sebastian watch you and your friend’s eyes darting between the two of you until they finally stood up with a loud cough, gaining both you and Sebastian’s attention.

“I’m going home,” Your friend announced, and before you could argue because you didn’t think you could drive right now, “Hurt my best friend and you’re dead, Aho.” Sending you a cheeky wink that broke the severity of your glare, you scowled as Sebastian merely nodded, a small smile on his face as he shared a few quiet words with your friend.

Well then, you played with your thumbs as now it was just the two of you, for not even a doctor was present in the normally-bustling room.

And suddenly Sebastian was stepping closer, and you probably would have felt uncomfortable if his presence wasn’t so welcome, if you didn’t release an almost happy sigh as his fingers gently brushed against your cheek, warm brown eyes sweeping over every inch of your face as he examined you so carefully.

“Does it hurt?” He asked quietly, fingers still rubbing small, comforting circles on your cheek, and you were so enraptured in this little bubble you found yourself in that it took a few moments to take in what he said.

(You blamed the huskiness of his voice for distracting you, and really it wasn’t fair how naturally pretty he was)

“Not really,” You answered back just as softly, ever-so-slightly leaning into his hand that remained on your cheek. At your response, he moved it to the side to examine your nose better - you wouldn’t admit how you almost whined in protest - eyebrows pinching together as he saw the swelling.

“It could be worse,” And really, you weren’t sure why you were trying to console him because he did hit you in the face with a puck yet again, but your friend’s words were echoing in your head and for the first time since being confronted about it, you figured that maybe Sebastian actually was being sincere and that maybe he did like you like everyone claimed he did...

“I didn’t, I would never mean to-” Sebastian was struggling to find the words, you could tell by the way his eyes shifted downwards and his brows pinched together, but the English language was tough even for yourself, a native speaker, and you couldn’t imagine how hard it was for the Finnish player trying to share how he felt in a language he would probably never be used to.

You placed your hand over his larger one that was currently resting on your shoulder, a burning warmth that left your body humming with pleasure at his touch, even through your clothes.

“I know,” You attempted to reassure him, offering him a small smile and taking joy in the way he reacted to your touch, because at least it wasn’t just you being affected by the other so strongly.

Without taking his eyes away from yours, Sebastian took his free hand and began rummaging in the pocket of his hoodie (that did absolutely nothing at hiding the man’s very fit body), and he couldn’t help but let a lazy smirk cross his lips as he saw your eyes widen and your mouth drop open ever so slightly in reaction to the item in his hand.

It was a puck, signed by him, of course, and it was the one he smacked you in the face with tonight.

(Accidentally, he’d tell the press over and over again in post-game interviews. Because no, what player just goes around launching pucks at his fans’ faces for fun?)

Sebastian offered it for you to take, and you of course accepted, tiny sparks erupting across your skin where your fingers brushed together. As you examined the puck in your hand that was still slightly frozen from its time on the ice, you couldn’t hold back the smile on your face if you tried, heart practically thumping outside of your chest because damn it, Sebastian wasn’t allowed to make you feel like this!

Gently swiping a thumb across his signature scrawled over the top of the puck, you looked up to find Sebastian already looking, staring at you with an expression you couldn’t quite decipher.

Suddenly the room was thick with tension and you were unable to look away, trapped in his eyes that looked to be so much darker compared to the soft lighting of the room. Your heart was pounding, your lips dry, and when you went to subconsciously lick them Sebastian’s eyes zeroed in on the movement and woah, the breath whooshed away from your lungs in a feeling not unfamiliar to when you got smacked in the face by hockey pucks.

Sebastian was leaning closer, his free hand hovering over your hip and when you automatically moved closer to accommodate him that was when you became fully trapped in his hold— but the thing was that you welcomed it, you welcomed his touch because you wanted to be swallowed in it and for some reason that fact wasn’t scaring you anymore.

You released a shaky exhale as his forehead was now resting against yours, eyes closing to try and gather your thoughts and any ounce of sanity you had left, because when in his presence all logic and reasoning left your mind to give way to desire and passion.

Your noses were now brushing together, a hand was tugging you closer to his body, and you could feel a whisper of his breath on your lips, that’s how close you were—

And then suddenly the doors to the medical ward were swinging open with a loud bang, Sebastian leaping back from you with a startled jump and you stuck frozen in your spot like a deer caught in headlights was what greeted the head doctor when she looked up from her clipboard.

Raising her eyebrows, she looked like she wanted to comment, observing your wide eyes and Sebastian’s flushed cheeks. Either from saving you the embarrassment or from her genuinely not wanting to be involved in your… endeavors, you were thankful as she merely waved you off with another few papers to sign, deliberately ignoring the way Sebastian was still hovering behind you and waiting to leave with you.

Once you finished, you sent a quick smile the doctor’s way before hurrying after Sebastian who now looked like he wanted to be anywhere else other than here.

Did I do something wrong? No, damn it, he was reciprocating—

Your thoughts were quickly cut off by the hockey player himself taking a hold of your hand in the midst of his brisk walk, only looking down at you with a soft furrow of his brows before he determined you were fine with it, and then he intertwined your fingers together.

You struggled to breathe, your breath catching in your throat as electrifying warmth shot up your arm, traveling through your body and you were almost burning, but it was such a good burn that you did nothing but welcome it. It was a feeling you hadn’t felt in probably years, though you didn’t find yourself scared of it like you thought you’d be.

Because no, out of all your strange, bizarre meetings with Sebastian Aho, you never found yourself scared of what you felt for him. Not nearly as much as you claimed to your friends when ranting over the phone.

Maybe it was because your attraction for so long had been buried beneath extreme distaste for causing you so much pain (literally) that falling for the hockey player had probably been the easiest thing you had ever done in your life because you didn’t even realize you were doing it.

You had a hard time fighting back the smile that wanted to spread across your cheeks, such a hard time in fact that you bit your lip hard enough to the point it bled. Though the brief twinges of pain didn't really bother you when you felt Sebastian squeeze your hand every few minutes, leading you through the empty hallways of the arena to where you assume was the parking lot.

When you walked out into the hot summer air that was typical for June in North Carolina, you almost wanted to frown because your time with Sebastian was almost over, even as limited as it was to begin with.

You turned to him then, not letting go of his hand but twisting around to face him instead, watching as his footsteps faltered, eventually stopping to face you where you stood in the middle of the almost-empty parking lot.

What a sight we must be, you almost wanted to laugh, wondering how odd the two of you looked: an NHL superstar holding hands with some random stranger in the middle of a parking lot. You could almost see the headlines now.

Sebastian didn't know quite what to say, regarding you with such intense yet vulnerable eyes full of the millions of words he wanted to say but just couldn't figure out how. If only you spoke Finnish…

"Are you sure you're okay? It doesn't hurt at all?" Is what he instead settled with, subconsciously bringing up his free hand to brush against the bruising on your nose with such gentle care it made you melt on the spot.

You hummed at the comfort his warm hands provided you, eyes fluttering as you leaned into his touch and— oh, wait, he was probably waiting for you to answer.

Based on the lazy, half-smirk on his face and the way he kept stroking the skin of your cheek though, you didn't think he minded how his touch could turn you into putty.

"No. I mean, it's sore and will probably hurt for awhile, but I'll survive," You tried to placate him, but if anything the words just made him more frustrated, the man releasing a huff while staring down your nose, almost wishing he could will the bruise away.

Sebastian sighed, looking at you with so much adoration and affection and dare you say it… love…? "I'm sorry," he said again, but you were tired of hearing his apologies and merely shook your head, shooting him your best unimpressed look.

You were about to open up your mouth to speak, to attempt to reassure him again but Sebastian was already looking down, hair still damp from the shower he took previously dangling in front of his forehead, and you struggled to figure out what you could do to make him feel better.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you fiddled with a loose string on your shirt before getting an idea— albeit a risky one that would definitely be putting yourself out there, but you had already practically admitted you were 'in love' with him, right?

Taking in a nervous breath, you shuffled closer to the taller man in front of you, hiding a smile as Sebastian immediately looked up in surprise and placed his hands on your hips to steady you. You wrapped an arm around his neck to settle your hand against his cheek, attempting to bring him down to your height but still having to stand up on your toes (curse his 6'0 height).

And then your lips brushed against the skin of his cheek, soft and warm with just the barest hint of stubble. You left a kiss at the corner of his lips next, shuddering deeply at the way his arms went to circle you - likely to bring you in closer so he could finally have you the way he'd been dreaming of - before pulling yourself away quickly, a satisfied smile taking replacing your mischievous grin at the starstruck look on his face.

"I'm okay, I promise," You reassured quietly, squeezing both his hands and the centerman only nodded, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded from the way you were pressed against him just moments ago.

"And thank you for the puck," Were your last words to him before you were quickly hurrying your way to your car, hands clammy and face on fire as the reality of what you just did settled in.

Holy shit, you thought as you unlocked your car. I don't regret it though. No, how could you when Sebastian looked at you afterwards like that?

And Sebastian was wishing he had done more than just stand there like the complete and utter idiot he was, letting you walk away without doing at least something in return…

Is this what love feels like?, was the only thought in his head as he eventually made his way back through the parking lot, thinking of the look you might have on your face when you'd find his number written on the other side of the puck he gave you.

• ~;~ •

+1

Instead of hitting you in the face with pucks, Sebastian Aho finally settled with throwing them gently to you from the ice, and if he smiled the widest he ever had when the arena showed you finally catching a puck on the jumbotron with the crowd cheering, clapping, and throwing praises and laughs left and right, well— only he had to know that.

Sebastian was pretty positive you were his person though, he just knew, and he was going to make sure you knew that too as soon as possible. Preferably after this game. He was even going to try to bypass any interviews afterwards (he could dream, honestly, but everyone knew Brind'Amour would just make him sit through them anyway).

You were very surprised that you managed to catch the puck Sebastian threw to you, if you were being honest. Maybe you managed to do so because you were actually expecting it this time— or because he didn’t chuck it over the glass as hard as he possibly could, like the previous four times…

Either way, you didn’t bother trying to hide the smile on your face as the cameras zoomed in on you giddily holding the puck still frozen and covered in bits of ice.

The smile didn’t leave your face after the Storm Surge and fans began to leave the arena, nor did it leave when you checked in with the security guards along with your friend and were led down to the locker rooms with your stomach swimming with butterflies.

When you finally got past the crowd and managed to avoid any onlookers who might have spotted the passes along your neck, you stayed behind your friend as they automatically began to chat up the other WAG’s and friends waiting outside to check your phone.

Sure enough, just as you had suspected, a notification from the very boy himself was lighting up your screen, his contact name flashing obnoxiously and almost making you laugh.

Puck Boy: You’re coming down to the locker rooms after, right? Everyone wants to see you again.

How did it get to the point where the two of you were texting regularly and meeting his teammates, you ask? Well, you didn’t exactly have a very good answer for that either.

You had found his number written on the bottom of the puck during the late hours of night, and having a moment of weakness you immediately texted him despite the time. Though surprisingly, Sebastian had been up too (he wouldn’t admit that he had been staring at his phone, waiting for a message from an unknown number to come in) and had responded almost immediately.

The two of you talked for hours after that, staying up until the sun rose despite you having work in the morning and Sebastian having practice, talking about everything under the sun. And despite the fact that you were barely awake as you arrived to take your morning shift, practically falling asleep the moment you arrived at your post, you didn’t regret your not-so-adultish decision to stay up whatsoever.

The first time the two of you called was only two weeks ago, but once you started neither of you could stop. It was after a victory against the Predators, and all Sebastian could think to do once he arrived at his apartment was to dial your number and celebrate, to pretend that he was with you instead of hugging you tight to his chest like he really wanted.

And then he had invited you to a get-together hosted by Jordan Martinook himself, just a few days after your first call; one, because Sebastian needed a date to avoid another month of being teased for arriving dateless, two, because everyone - and when he said everyone, he meant everyone - wanted to meet you, and three, because he also really wanted to see you again.

After that first fateful get-together outside of the PNCArena, it was practically routine to continue to call and text each other at the end of the day, avoiding the one elephant in the room that neither of you wanted to address— What are we? What are we doing, really?

Yes, You eventually texted back, looking up once your friend started to poke you for your attention, then blushed in embarrassment when you realized several other people were staring at you with varying levels of amusement from your lack of attention.

“Sorry,” You grinned sheepishly, stuffing your phone in your pocket as your friend merely rolled their eyes before linking their arm with yours.

You soon fell into easy conversation with Courtney Martinook, Kylie Slavin, and Kylie’s daughter, Emersyn - all who you were fairly comfortable with from the last time you met them - only just managing to avoid the subtle smiles and winks - and in your friend’s case, harsh kicks to the shin - when your friendship with Sebastian would be brought up.

“He bought you two tickets?” Courtney asked with a hum, exchanging knowing smiles with Kylie when your friend nodded eagerly and you avoided eye contact with flushed cheeks.

“Only because he said I could repay him by buying him a lifetime-supply of coffee,” You attempted to defend yourself and the way your cheeks glowed red, though you didn’t think you did a very good job if the raised eyebrows of the two older women were any indication.

“Are you and Fishy gonna get married?” Emersyn soon interrupted mid-conversation, a goofy grin on her face that seemed much too mischievous for her age. While your mouth opened and closed like that of a fish and Kylie attempted to apologize for her daughter’s very out-of-the-blue question, you were soon saved from answering when the locker room doors burst open and Emersyn squirmed out of her mother’s arms with an excited squeal, bounding towards her father who came out first with several others.

Your friend tugged at your arm, wiggling their eyebrows playfully. “Yeah, are you going to get married?” You merely scowled, a furious blush decorating your face as you quickly looked around to make sure nobody else had heard. God forbid one of the players heard the chirp and decided to let Sebastian in on it…

“I don’t even think we’ll date, nonetheless get married,” You muttered dryly, crossing your arms defensively when your friend merely rolled their eyes.

“Yeah, that’s definitely why he got you his jersey and gave you a puck with his number on it. Because he doesn’t want to date you.”

Coming from another person your excuse did sound a lot more dumb out loud than in your head, but you wouldn’t admit that. Instead you only turned away, looking through the crowd of happy couples and single players walking along the hallway, searching for Sebastian.

“And here I thought you were wearing the number 88, not 20…” A voice sighed teasingly to your left, an arm coming to rest on your shoulder after as you turned around to find Martin Necas giving you the best heartbroken, puppy-eyed look he could.

“Sorry Martin,” You grinned, not really sorry at all as you batted away his arm from your shoulder. “I just happen to like Sepe better.” You shrugged nonchalantly, though Martin knew you were joking mostly by the way your grin wouldn’t leave your face.

Martin, unphased, shrugged. “I know, believe me. Everyone knows.” And then the right winger was flashing you the biggest shit-eating grin you had ever seen before he was suddenly sauntering away towards your friend who had been watching from the other side of the room.

Staring after the hockey player with comically wide eyes, you were about to march off after him to demand what the hell Martin was talking about—

“Looking for me?” A cheeky voice and a sudden poke on your shoulder soon had you pausing in your steps, and as you turned around to face the culprit you ended up coming face-to-face (or rather face-to-chest) with the all-star player himself.

Sebastian was back in his game-day suit, hair still damp from a shower probably taken before with his cheeks flushed red from either the heat or from seeing you. And despite how infuriatingly good the man managed to look, it wasn't his body that had you absolutely starstruck, but rather the wide, infectious smile on his face that you could do nothing but return before he was swallowing you in his arms, burying his face into the top your hair as he hugged you so close to him, the way he had been dreaming of since you first kissed his cheek.

“Missed me that much?” You laughed, throwing your arms around his neck and too hugging him close. Your next retort was quickly cut off when he pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head in response, being so fleeting that you wondered if you had just imagined it.

¹ “Sinulla ei ole aavistustakaan, kuinka paljon kaipasin sinua... En yhtään.”

Sebastian purposefully spoke in Finnish, mostly because he knew how much it irritated you because you could never figure out what he was saying but also because he could speak his mind without the worry of it backfiring. And when you scowled and tried to wriggle your way out of his arms, Sebastian did nothing but laugh as you muttered curses under your breath about him being too strong.

It was true, though. Sebastian had the weight, height, and muscle mass to top yours ten times over— yet you didn't mind it as much as you were acting to be, rather instead secretly enjoying being trapped in his warm embrace.

Like the first time you were alone with him, you let yourself get sucked into your own little world with the hockey player in front of you, obnoxiously amused stares and giggles from the others around you ignored as you remained curled into Sebastian's chest like a koala, not quite willing to let go just yet.

"Did you enjoy the game?" Sebastian asked, staring down at you so sweetly that it had your heart melting on the spot. It only took a minute of him scanning down your body before he spotted the number 20 printed across your sleeves, and if possible his smile got even wider (and smug, too, you thought with an internal scoff) as he gently traced the numbers with his fingers while waiting for your response.

"Mhm," You hummed your agreement, rolling your eyes as he kept his eyes trained on the 'Aho' jersey he had bought you so many weeks ago. "It was pretty fun, got to see some guy score a few times too, not really sure who he was though." And that got his attention, Sebastian staring with those warm brown eyes of his that even when displeased were still one of the most attractive features about him.

Sebastian watched you with narrowed eyes, brows furrowing with a teasing glare as he wondered if getting into a quip-battle with you was worth it. While equally clever with his words - it was always the quiet ones… - the both of you were stubborn, you especially so, and he'd rather save your typical jabs at each other when it was just the two of you and not surrounded by his teammates and their partners, eagerly waiting for him to do something.

You figured Sebastian gave up on arguing with you again when his arms merely tightened their hold around you, bottom lip suddenly captured in-between his teeth as he thought of what to say.

He had a plan coming out here after receiving your text… He knew he did! What was it again?

Watching you pull at a loose string on your sleeve, it suddenly occurred to him that the main reason he had gotten you and your friend tickets in the first place was so that he could ask you out. Officially. Like on an actual date.

Fuck.

Taking in a deep breath that you definitely noticed but decided not to comment on, Sebastian mumbled something in Finnish under his breath yet again that had you briefly scowling at before he popped the dreaded yet anticipated question:

"Do you want to go out after this?"

You stared, having enough dignity to at least not look like a gaping fish for what had to have been the millionth time that night.

"It doesn't have to be right now-right now, we can wait until later if that works better, I know you have work—"

Suddenly Sebastian was rambling, and you did nothing but watch at first, both in awe at the man in front of you and in amusement because he looked just as nervous as you felt.

Just do it. You know you want to. And then you were staring at Sebastian's face, his mouth specifically, thinking of all the ways you could shut him up but instead settling on one:

"...and we could always set something up in a few days, too—"

"Sepe?" You interrupted, resting your chin on his chest as you tilted your head up to look at him fully.

When he merely blinked in response, regarding you quietly with those warm brown eyes of his, you couldn't help but smile because little did he know that your heart was pounding so hard you felt like it was going to explode.

You pulled Sebastian down towards you by the lapels of his suit as best as you could, biting the inside of your lip when you met his warm brown eyes that were now dark and swimming with desire. He ended up being the one to close the distance, cupping your cheek with the entirety of his hand before his lips were brushing against yours, and that small touch was all he needed before Sebastian was pressing forward, leading you into the kiss and it almost felt like he was devouring you. He was so warm yet burning and his hand on your cheek and waist was sending tingles all throughout your body and it all was overwhelming but in the best way possible. You tugged Sebastian closer, burying your hand into his hair and kissing him with everything you had all while cursing him internally for making you feel for him so strongly. When his tongue ever so slightly ran across your lip, testing for an entrance, that was when your brain decided to rear forward with there are people near!

You were suddenly pulling back with a gasp, lips swollen and red, cheeks flushed and pupils blown wide with lust, biting your abused lip to hide your smile when Sebastian whined at your pulling back and attempted to lean forward to kiss you again.

Ignoring the wolf-whistles that you hadn't registered until just now, you briefly glanced around to see your friend standing next to Martin and Turbo, both nodding eagerly with equally-wide smiles and that's when you took a deep breath and jumped head-first into whatever it was you were doing.

"I would love to go out after this." You answered after a few moments of internal-panic on what to follow up with, though if the satisfied grin on Sebastian's face was any indication, you figured you said the right thing.

"Good," Sebastian recovered from his starstruck haze quickly, ignoring the eager and expectant look his friends were sending him as he leaned down to mumble into your hair, "I wasn't really going to take no for an answer, anyway…"

You opened your mouth to retort, brows furrowing in offense at his statement because, um, nobody told you what to do, least of all him—

And as if sensing the argument from you, Sebastian quickly bent his head forward to lock eyes with you, just to make sure you knew what he was doing, and then he was capturing your lips with his own once more, shutting you up with a grin at your brief sounds of protest being quickly cut off.

Sliding a hand through your hair just because he could, this time it was Sebastian pulling back and you chasing after him with a whine while he merely grinned, smile lazy yet smug.

Geez, you thought, mind still fuzzy from Sebastian's kisses as he began to lead you through the crowd with a warm hand pressed against your lower-back. What is he doing to me?

"You're awful, you know," You spoke with a light huff that held little mirth, rolling your eyes when Sebastian only laughed and just resorted to dragging you away by the sleeve of your - his - jersey instead.

"You still like me though."

Unfortunately.

"Screw you."

"Maybe wait until after the first date?" Said Sebastian without missing a beat, keeping his eyes forward and waving goodbye to his teammates and your friend before exiting the locker room hallway.

This man is going to be the death of me, you thought, though strangely enough, you didn't mind the thought of it.

When you arrived to Sebastian's own car after picking up your stuff and to let him drive you to wherever the hell he wanted to go, you had a sudden revelation.

"Puck you." Is what you said, grinning victoriously when Sebastian looked at you from the corner of his eye with a baffled frown.

"What?" He laughed incredulously, looking so confused yet cute at the same time that you couldn't help but take pity on him.

"It's like 'fuck you' but instead of saying fuck, I said puck, because that's how you decided to screw up both my life and my face."

Okay, not much pity, but still.

When Sebastian only gave you a sheepish grin and a shrug, you knew he didn't take the jab seriously.

And based on the way he wouldn't meet your eyes when you asked if he even regretted how everything happened between the two of you, you knew your teasing him was well-deserved.

"Puck you, Sebastian. Puck you."

²"Minäkin rakastan sinua."

~~~

¹ "You have no idea how much I missed you… None at all."

² "Love you too."

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[tsukkiseasalt]

haikyuu hc | how they act while drunk

includes: swearing, public intoxication, frustration, throwing up & a whole lotta other bs. slightly nsfw.gn reader

bokuto

somebody please get this baby some help he’s super emotional rn.

didn’t actually tell you he was drinking just said he was going to hang with akaashi.

akaashi was the one who called you & he sounded off his ass, so he gave bokuto the phone only for him to start talking about how he wishes he would have asked you to go out & how sorry he was- poor thing was on the verge of tears.

only way he’ll calm down is by calling you as you come get him.

when you get to the bar he is laying on the curb with his arm around akaashi’s leg as kaashi throws up in some bushes. kuroo is sitting on the curb writing on the concrete with a rock

how you managed to get all of them in a car will forever be a mystery-but bokuto & kuroo were sprawled out in the back seat and akaashi was slumpted over in the front seat emptying his stomach into a cardboard box you found in your trunk.

you dropped akaashi & kuroo off at their apartment with kenma.( kenma being the only actually sober person you saw that night )

“baby im sorry. please don’t be mad.” were the only words he could muster in different variations as he clung to you when you tried to get him into the house.

immediately falls onto the bed and begins crying & apologizing. the sight honestly breaks your heart.

“baby im sorry. it wasn’t my idea it was there’s. i didn’t wanna drink. im sorry. im so so sorry.” he sobs into you sleeping pants.

“hey baby you’re ok, im not mad at you. im proud of you.” you coo.

��really?” he sniffles

“yes baby, you calmed down and told me how to get to you and you didn’t even throw up.” you praise him.

a huge smile is on his face when he hears that quickly bettering his mood.

“i love you so much.” he mumbles as he pulls you down into a sloppy kiss.

the next morning he vows to never drink with akaashi again. (does the same thing in two weeks.)

oikawa

the term pissy drunk was made for this man. tells you he’s going to have a few beers with ‘the bois’ only for him to send you voice messages of him screaming careless whisper at 2 am.

did NOT want to leave when you tried to get him to leave. sat on the floor and down right refused like a fucking CHILD.

“tooru fucking oikawa get your god damn ass of that motherfucking ground right now or so help me god.”

“what are you gonna do huh? you gonna whoop my ass? nope you can’t whoop my shit so shut the hell up.”

goes fucking ballistic when you threaten to breakup with him & breaks a table in the process.

iwazumi finally gets pissed enough and helps you get him out & in your car.

lays in the back seat and sobs, begging for you to stay with him.

“you know tooru desperation doesn’t look good on you.”

ballistic pt.2

“EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD ON ME SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DONT APPRECIATE ME. I HATE YOU.”

this mf ugly crying snot and all.

when you make it home he tells you he doesn’t need your help with a damn thing and that he can get his self to bed.

failed miserably and fell on the ground immediately after opening the door. (cue the waterworks)

“baby please help me i need you. im sorry i’m being a jack ass help me please.” he mumbles sweetly wrapping his arms around you as you lug him in.

“just leave me here.” he sniffles when you make it into the living room. you drop him on the couch and go to bed.

wakes up with the meanest hangover and makes dinner for the next week as an apology.

tanaka

angry drunk. on sight type night with him.

bringing him to the party was possibly the worst decision you could have possibly made. within the 45 minutes you two had been there he had taken 4 shots, downed 2, and chugged everything within a 2 foot radius. safe to say he was thoroughly buzzed.

“babe if anybody and i mean ANYBODY looks at you tell me and i’ll kill them.” he exclaims hands snaking around your waist.

the only place your allowed to sit is on his lap. (yes you can feel his hard on)

plays beer pong with noya against kageyama and tsukki ( tsukki’s actually really fucking good) & looses.

he and noya then proceed to try an jump tsukki.

“fuck you you four eyes bastard.” he yells as daichi wraps his arms around him. “yeah, your a filthy cheater.” noya chimes as asahi picks him up and takes him outside. “i’ll be back tanaka & when i get back we beating his ass.”

after that you decide to take him home.

his hand doesn’t leave your thigh as you drive home. this boys hOrnY.

constantly tries to convince you to let him taste you as you drive home.

“ryūnosuke stop it now.”

“fuck babe say my name like that again and i’m gonna have to take you right here and now.” he groans palming himself through his sweats.

when you get him in bead his hands are gripping your ass and his head buried in your chest.

“i love you so much babe.” he mumbles before passing out.

kageyama

super lightweight.

had one shot and a wine cooler now he can’t walk straight.

“honey *hicup* my tummy hurts *hicup*”

“tobio sweety you haven’t even drank that much.” you say stroking his head.

you have to leave early because he has to pee and refuses to go anywhere other than his own bathroom.

end up pulling on the side of the road because he almost pissed his pants in the car.

“can you help me get my pants up?” he asks leaning against the tree for support.

strips down to his underwear in your car cause he’s hot even though you have the ac blasting.

“babe i think i have alcohol *hicup* poisoning.

“you do not have alcohol poisoning tobio.”

when you open the door to get him inside he throws up on the floor and immediately passes out.

wakes up in the middle of the night crying though because his stomach hurts.

you turn on cars and rub his tummy till he goes back to sleep.

i wrote half of this while i was blackout drunk at a party last night soo please ignore the grammar mistakes🥺

[choco-mark]

Dreamies reaction to being your roommate or how they would be your roommate? idk if that makes sense..tyyy💖

scenario: nct dream as your roommate

mark

concerned roommate

was really shy when he first met you + when you moved in he was all like making sure to give you space and gave you a little tour of the apartment and even told you a little bit about himself which you found really cute

you thought it would be IMPOSSIBLE to break him out of his barrier but he eventually did but damn can this boy be WILD

you don’t let him cook because the last time you left your water boiling and asked him to watch it while you went to the bathroom, it ended up on him, yeah you had to tend to his burned skin even though he insisted HE WAS FINE

gets along well with your friends, though they find him kinda hot and ask you why you haven’t gotten laid yet and orders food for them when they’re over (generous bby 🥺)

and at school??? y’all both go to the same uni so bUs riDes but y’all don’t really see each other THAT much but when it does happen, all the dreamies tease him like you’re his girlfriend and you get all flustered as if y’all are actually dating

y’all know well as hell when y’all go out, y’all be sharing the little crappy earbuds on the bus and listening to some r&b + he loves it when you fall asleep on his shoulder but makes fun of you later

falls asleep everywhere and i mean EVERYWHERE, you name it, the horrible excuse of a kitchen, the bathroom, and you even found him in your own room once which led to some TALKS

does the dishes whenever you want him to and doesn’t really care for chores (?) like he doesn’t want to bother you so like he just does them for the sake of the apartment

y’all are mutually afraid of your landlord, who once came banging at y’alls door at 5 in the morning on a monday and you thought you were gonna be robbed but it was just your feisty landlord who had returned from their trip to australia

breaks things A LOT, and i feel like he would try and cover them up if it’s not that big of a deal like ‘mark, why’s there glass in the garbage’ ‘i, um, broke it’ but you know he breaks shit all the time bc that’s the fifth glass

hangs out with you in the living room even if y’all are doing your own thing but you both feel comfortable just feeling the presence of each other

goes shopping for groceries without you, forgets what y’all actually need, and calls you like fifty times (you make him come with you now)

i don’t think mark would really do pranks on you but he might like try and scare you randomly and you being the paranoid babe you are get all jumpy and ‘MARK!!’

has a crush on you but doesn’t know it himself until you get sick one day since you walked home in the rain and he takes care of you and gets all worried (uwu) and then is like ‘OH SHIT’

you fall asleep on the couch while having (rare) movie nights with him, and kinda wants to carry you to your room after the movie’s over but also doesn’t know if he should and has a mental break but you wake up and leave yourself

realizes that he’s falling for you more and more everyday and seems to like your lips a lot more too

you don’t realize that you’re slowly starting to like him too but every time your friends talk about guys and dating you immediately think of mark (uwu bc y’all are besties)

mark finally asks you out on a day in the summer but he’s super nervous and fidgety that you kinda thought he was gonna break some big bad news to you like ‘i’m moving out’

but he actually asks you to date him and you’re like shocked for a bit just sitting there with your ice cream tub in front of the tv watching tom and jerry and he thinks you’re about to reject him before you nod rapidly

literally no one is fazed when y’all announce it to your friends, and they all saw it coming (hyuck and chenle had a bet on who would ask who out and hyuck won a whole 45 dollars)

renjun

responsible roommate

let’s be real, y’all did not get along when y’all first moved in together

renjun was literally the polar opposite of you, liking his space and reading and painting an awful lot, well he’s a fine arts major so, while you’re a little more on the extroverted side, inviting your loud friends over often

y’all had a fight like two days after he moved in about you always having friends over and then being loud and you try defending yourself but you kinda make a fool out of yourself because sweetie is right

a week of so after that you actually think about moving out because you think he like HATES YOUR GUTS and you kinda don’t talk to him at all for a bit

he feels bad after a while seeing you come home and just lock yourself in your room for like…the entire day before you get up early in the morning and leave + wants to make amends but his ego’s too big

ends up just cutting fresh fruit for you around like 2am since you were up doing work (with a frustrated brain) but accidentally walks in on you changing and drops the fruit all on the ground

you swear you’ve never seen a boy so RED before (or have you seen him apologize before) and he literally just STANDS THERE before closing the door

rethinks his entire life on what the HELL he just saw, and why he liked it so much but comes in after you tell him too (you’re kinda embarrassed too, you know, seeing the pretty pink undies hehe)

you apologize first about your friends and stuff though he feels bad for just yelling at you about it rather than like, talking like a normal person and he just is like ‘fancy some fruit?’

yeah, y’all kinda get closer after that, and he even lets you into his room (which was OFF LIMITS before), and you get to see his artwork which is wow phenomenal

y’all cook together and make it like it’s some kind of vlog (though y’all suck at that shit, so it’s just fake youtube), and the food ends up like pretty decent at the end

he doesn’t go to the same uni as you, but since you don’t leave early in the morning anymore, y’all walk together until you have to part ways

renjun has the dreamies over VERY RARELY but he goes out to their apartments often, he won’t admit it but he doesn’t want donghyuck to meet you because you might fall in love with him like everyone else seemed to

donghyuck does meet you though, and it’s safe to say that his flirting did not work on you! which was surprisingly relieving to renjun, and he didn’t even realize he was so relieved that you didn’t give a shit

you now only have your friends over whenever renjun’s not there just for the sake of him, but you usually go out instead too so…sometimes there’s an empty house bc y’all are way too considerate for each other

once you met him on your way back from your friend’s and it was like the spider-man meme like ‘boy, i left because of you’ and vice versa

there isn’t really a big hassle on chores in your apartment unless either of your families are coming for a visit because then it is..like renovating time

‘just take the couch out of the living room, it looks ugly’ + “bitch, where tf are they gonna sit then??’

he once got clothing stuck in the bottom of the washing machine and it was WALKING (i’m not kidding guys, this shit happens) + y’all had to call your landlord who wasn’t too happy

and talk about escalating the relationship..y’all are practically best friends by now even though you both are literal opposites

he doesn’t really ask you out like at all but gets all emotionally defensive when you’re about to go on a blind date that one of your friends set up for you

‘just go with me’

and you’re like…babe that’s not how it works but eventually you get the message (after a while) and you’re like ‘oh, you mean you actually want to go with me’

ends up taking you to the same cafe you were supposed to meet the other guy at and buys you food for the first time but kisses you with a spontaneous burst of confidence

but then it’s all flustered renjun™

jeno

feisty roommate

moved in with you bc you both are best friends and thought that y’all had ENOUGH time living in dorms on campus at uni

you literally don’t know how to deal with him at first because this boy is a messy mf and leaves everything everywhere which gets you all riled up

eventually you just threaten to throw his computer out the window if he doesn’t do the goddamn dishes once this semester and does them in fear

it worked the first few times but he saw it coming after a while and just threatened to throw you out the window, while holding half your body out of the fifth floor window

let’s just say the neighbors probably thought you were being abused from your screams, and it was proven when cops showed up at your doorstep about an hour later

that was probably the most terrifying and awkward conversation you had ever had with someone, even though it was mostly jeno talking to them while you were standing slightly behind him with your hand on the sleeve of his jacket

they eventually left and you almost cried because you were so scared you were gonna get arrested for no reason, and because you were too broke to bail yourself out of a jail and jeno was like ‘yeah it happens’

well, he didn’t hold you out of a window again, that was for sure but he made sure to take his time out of playing games and doing work to do some chores so you wouldn’t be doing all of them

jeno doesn’t mind your friends over, though he hates it when one of them try to hit on him even as a joke, and the last time that happened, you ended up just kicking her out because you were so fed up

dreamies come over pretty often actually, and raid your kitchen too which is sad because your stock of cheap alcohol is gone is less than a few minutes

they once all ended up drunk and on the floor of your living room except for jisung, who had been forbidden to drink, and you ended playing cards with him for like two hours before jeno dragged him out of your room

he didn’t invite them over for a month after that because he thought jisung hit on you (the literal high schooler, smh) but didn’t tell you that so you just thought he was mad at them

takes you clothing shopping with him because he has no fashion sense and doesn’t want to admit it to jaemin but you both usually end up at a fast food restaurant eating fries

you both are allergic to cats, but he has three and they’ve grown on you

cooking is usually rare in your apartment, but there always seem to be so many FUCKING DISHES, jeno usually just orders food for the both of you over weekends and breaks while slowly realizing he’s gonna go into debt if he keeps buying sm food

you start playing overwatch because him (which actually just started out as you being curious on how to play) and now you’re hooked, and he’s jealous because you’re actually good

ends up fighting for his computer back because you kept using it, but let you for a while bc he kinda found it cute seeing you sitting in his huge gaming chair wearing oversized clothing and battling like a boss

he doesn’t regret ever moving in with you bc it’s earned him some very interesting experiences that he couldn’t really trade for the world

his heart does a thing when he finds you asleep at his desk past midnight, and isn’t really sure if he should wake you up or not but ends up tucking you into his bed and he takes home on the couch

anyway the couch was fucking COLD but you woke up literally in his scent, and damn were you confused but you found him in the living room under a thin blanket

yeah, you scold him for that because he catches a cold and he’s a whole baby when he’s sick

okay, he’s like barely sick but he’d be like ‘y/n help me, i can’t get up’ and you get all worried bc he looks so tired but he just wants the care (evil jeno hehe)

you feel bad bc it was kinda your fault that he had to sleep on the couch and you apologize while bringing him food and stuff and his heart does a thing again and he’s like..this is my best friend, i’m a fucking idiot

yeah but he’s in love with you, it’s just a matter of time before one of you confessed

donghyuck

bratty roommate

hyper king who was the pretty but loud boy in one of your classes + he asked you to move in with him when he overheard you talking to a friend about needed to move out of the dorm

he didn’t actually think you’d take him seriously, but is glad because he has a bit of a crush on you and is planning on making you fall for him

you know the drill already though, he’s the guy that everyone falls for, so you’re determined not to!!

donghyuck is the definition of a brat, and pulls pranks on you constantly which you always innocently fall for, marking his happiness

you get him back though, filling his shampoo bottle with hair dye that he actually falls for (and you know it from the screech that comes from the bathroom around 3am)

but you’re back in class and he looks like a hot mf with this silver hair, making you regret the fact that you bought silver instead of red

donghyuck actually falls harder and harder for you though, though he’s trying to keep up his whole playboy fanatic and it’s getting hard for you

he sucks at basic things though, and runs away when you tell him it’s his turn to do the dishes (like, he runs out of the apartment)

dreamies are over, but not that much, you kinda think chenle and renjun hate your guts from the way they always eye you (also since you don’t hesitate to kick their asses out)

donghyuck prefers going out too, and planning very intricately how to make your life more miserable!!

is good at cooking but he’s too flirty to actually get anything done without you threatening to stab his eyes out

overheard you complaining to your friend one day over the phone about how hyuck is such a nuisance and basically you’re thinking about moving out because he’s so fucking HARD to live with

gets a little sad knowing that you just see him as annoying and tones down his bratty behavior to a record breaking low (i swear, it’s almost impossible) and you think he’s possessed

comes home one day to you watching a horror movie in the living room with the lights off and you get frightened out of your wits and even start crying

he’s like ‘fuck’ and thinks you’re hurt or something and gets all cuddly and is like ‘babe, what’s wrong??? who hurt you??’

ends up finding out you’re drunk, because you kept sobbing loudly about the guy that stood you up for a date and from the half empty vodka bottle

gets kinda pissed that someone really stood you up which caused you to drink away your feelings (well, you had other issues as well, but the date was a main component) and he’s actually genuinely worried

tries to get you water when you start coughing but you just cling onto him and tell him not to go away and he swears his heart stopped from the way you looked at him with pleading eyes and a pout

‘i’ll never leave you’

pretty sure he’s in love with you by the next day, and doesn’t fail to let you know by trying to flirt very successfully but you just think it’s hyuck back with his antics again

yeah, it’s not, sweetie’s in love with you and you finally get it!! after a really long time because you have trust issues and hyuck seemed to flirt with everyone before, though now…it happened only with you..wow??

he doesn’t ask you out, and kinda thinks that’s overrated so he just kisses you and well you like it

jaemin

sweetheart roommate

jaemin is the bestest boy on this planet, no one can tell me otherwise

though you guys moved in together because of a roommate switch up with your landlord, you two didn’t really mind it all that much bc y’all got along well!!

the two of you have a pretty calm and very ‘roommate’ kind of relationship because it takes both you a little while to break out of your shells a little bit

it took you a both a month, but the respectfulness of ‘no, i’ll do the dishes’ turned to a more of a friendship at first, though jaemin would admit he saw you as a little more than that, a best friend!!

has a daily order of coffee to your apartment three times a day and offered you a sip once and you could’ve sworn it was the liquified version of the souls in hell

he cooks for you 🥺 mainly because he trusted you next to a stove and ended up regretting it so

y’all go to the same uni too, so the walks there aren’t silent anymore!! before, it was just a side-by-side walk while you both had earbuds in

now that the two of you were closer, he basically treated you like you were his girlfriend and the dreamies didn’t fail to notice that

has a habit of pecking your cheek as a goodbye, which hyuck sees and is like ‘friends don’t do that!!!’ and jaemin’s like ‘we aren’t friends, we’re more than that.’

he meant y’all were BEST FRIENDS but hyuck now thought you two were fucking behind closed doors and made sure to mention it to all the dreamies too

yeah, jaemin doesn’t have hyuck over anymore, if anyone, it’s usually jeno or jisung who are usually more considerate on the fact that you live there and don’t bother you

your parents came to visit one day and fell in love with jaemin, especially your mom, who told you that he is husband material, well she’s not wrong.

bought you colored pencils after you lost all of them at uni, and got really hyped seeing how happy you were because of that and bought you a lotta stuff after that

like it wouldn’t even be planned, like he’d see something while shopping and would be like…’yes this is SO y/n’ and ends up buying it for you 

people at uni probably think y’all are married from the way y’all argue about socks being left all over the apartment, which usually leads to one of you feeling bad and apologizing to the other

helps you with homework and even offers to write your essays when your sick or not in the mood, though he refuses your help like it’s second nature because he doesn’t want to ‘bother you’

doesn’t even realize he’s in love with you until jeno jokingly says he wants to ask you out and he gets all stiff and is straight up like ‘no, bro, that’s not cool’

ends up asking you out because he’s scared one of the dreamies would do it before him and you say no at first because you think he’s high or some shit but he’s being real

yeah and then the fucking behind closed doors becomes a reality

chenle

dumbass roommate

i’m not kidding, he blasts music at 4am thinking that you’re asleep and you ARE until you hear the music

the apartment is HUGE, it belongs to him, but put out the second room for low rent because he was lonely and tbh it was a pretty good size for the price

you thought he was a little annoying at first because the dreamies would literally be over all the fucking time because they were in love with the apartment, and both of y’all just didn’t along with each other’s friends

well, you just avoided them interacting with him because he was kinda a lil embarrassing at first, and you thought he was immature (he’s only a year younger though…)

he’s really passionate about music though, and has a wholeass piano in the corner of the living room that you’re not allowed to touch, but you’re so fucking tempted to

can’t do any chores for shit, and doesn’t really try until he sees you washing the dishes and is like ‘this is no good’ and hires a cleaning lady, he doesn’t make you pay extra though, which makes you happy

accidentally used your perfume instead of his own for about a week and smelled like vanilla all day everyday until you noticed that he was the reason why the bottle was disappearing liquid by the day

took you to an arcade when you were really stressed one day and this boy is competitive, so that was a whole RIDE but it was fun to actually hang out with him without arguing or starting a roommate war

yeah, y’all had a whole roommate war, if he was gonna blast music, you were gonna do it too and no one could complain to the landlord because the place literally belongs to him

watches movies with you, even the weird cheesy ones which he usually just makes stupid comments on, or even horror movies where he’s like…‘this bitch asked for death, so she’s gonna get it’

pranks you but not really badly, knows you’re scared of spiders and buys a bunch of plastic ones and puts them in the cupboards to hear you scream in fear in the morning 

the cops showed up at your door too because the neighbors complained about noise, but you both had fallen asleep in the living room before they nearly threatened to break down the door and chenle woke up

dreamies tease him about you as well (like their bitchasses will), but they don’t really think anything’s gonna happen because you’re older but that is WRONG

y’all both have different tastes when it comes to food, but he still manages to take everything you buy for yourself even though he’s the rich one

teaches you how to play the piano one day and his heart does a thing when you lean your head on his shoulder for a brief second, babe thinks he’s falling for you

which is right, and he’s pretty obvious about it like you’d be just cooking wearing some sweats and he’d be creepily watching from the living room thinking you’re gorgeous and you’re like ‘tf is wrong with you, headass’

yeah, it takes him a while to confess because he’s nervous and doesn’t really have much experience in this kinda field (asks jisung too, but that boy literally knows less than him so)

tries to be all romantic with food and shit but he makes a mess and you find it frustratingly cute and judging from the way he was looking at you, you thought he was about to pull out a million dollar ring and propose to you

‘CAN YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND’ 

jisung

cutie roommate

you both moved out of your parent’s houses senior year even though y’all hadn’t even graduated yet, but you didn’t think you could deal living with your four silblings and parents for another year

y’all are best friends, and probably do everything together too unless one of you are under a lot of stress because of school work (which might lead to a soft night of like, building forts or movies)

jisung is a mESSY PERSON but y’all clean together, like if it’s time to do the dishes, y’all are doing that together, one person washes while the other ones dries or even cleaning the living room, like y’all have designated cleaning days

you both have your friends over pretty rarely since it’s y’alls dorm uwu, not theirs and you know hell as well all they gonna be doing is stealing food

wears your clothes but by accident, like you might’ve mixed in a shirt or two along with his laundry and he’s wondering why tf it’s so fucking tight on him but still wears it until you’re like…jisung what the fuck

gives it back to you but it’s all stretched out now so :( but he lets you wear his sweatshirts!! 

there’s a nice lil rooftop to the dorm that no one really seems to use other than you two, but y’all usually go up there to escape from the real world, like you come home and sungie isn’t there, check the roof! he’s probably crying his eyes out!!

just kidding, jisung doesn’t cry, he’s a tough baby

all jokes aside, you both stress over exams and classes together, and drink a hell of a lot of coffee too (the machine broke one week, and y’all were too broke to buy another one immediately so y’all saved up while dying inside)

cooking…doesn’t really happen though there is a kitchen, maybe if the dreamies are over and renjun’s in charge, but other than that, y’alls parents send you food or you order stuff

you get a part-time job after a while bc you don’t wanna bother your parents and you come home at like 10pm and babe is already so worried since you didn’t pick up the whole and begs you to quit

you don’t, but he starts working too and you both suffer together!!

y’all have a surprisingly clean apartment, but jisung’s room is another dimension that you cleaned one day he was out for work

he came back and walked into his room, and almost walked out because he genuinely thought he walked into the wrong dorm until he sees you

this boy sleeps everywhere too, but everywhere he’s not supposed to sleep, under the carpet in the living room, in the bathtub, even out on the balcony in the summer once and you thought he died in the morning

you both take walks in the neighborhood together on the weekends, like scheduled regularly occurring walks that even the old lady next to the chinese place says hi to you on saturdays

y’all aren’t even sure when it turned from a friendship to a relationship, though you’re pretty sure it was because of a petty fight over school or something that just lead to him confessing very loudly

it was kinda scary hearing him shout but y’all both realize what he just said and…damn

[ecotone99]

[MF] What the wolf thinks watching the sheepdog work.

A thick stack of plastic bags sat on Shane's desk. They were the kind used by most retail stores; 14 X 14 with perforated handles and a company's logo printed on the face. These bags had been prepared for a grocery store, HEB, but the lettering was screwed up and the graphics were cockeyed and overlapping. The 'E' was sideways intersecting the 'H' and the 'B' was five inches away jumbled into the confusing mess of mislaid graphics.

Shane tapped his fingers against the armrests of his chair and looked across the desk at Brian, the floor manager. Brian shrugged.

"Hell," Shane concluded and stood up angrily. He walked to the window overlooking the factory and shoved his hands in his pockets. Below, employees carried on their work; loading raw supplies into machinery, inspecting final products rolling down conveyor belts, carting boxes and barrels hither and yon.

"We give them this pallet, gratis," Brian said. "We messed up, but we'll correct it."

"Hell," Shane sighed. He returned to his desk and sat down.

"You know they'll still use these," Brian held up the flawed bags. "Put them in one of their League City stores where nobody gives much fucks. It'll be okay."

"I'm not worried about that." Shane scowled. "But this was Virgil, right?"

Brian lifted his eyebrows. "This was on my watch, boss. Lots of things went wrong, I should have-"

"-Don't bullshit me, Brian. Virgil screwed this up. Again." Shane brought a fist down on the bags, not violently, but with emphasis. "Hell."

Brian sat back and waited.

Eventually, Shane continued, "Don't cover for him, Brian. You won't be doing him any favors if you are. You know this."

"Look boss," Brian leaned forward. "Yeah, he screwed up. And, yeah, he's been distracted lately. But he's on time every day, his eyes are clear, his hands steady. I'm not saying I greet him with a big hug and kiss when he gets here, but we work pretty close and I haven't smelled anything on his breath. Not like I used to."

"So what's going on?"

"I don't know. Nothing bad, I don't think. He seems happy. Just a little... out of it."

Shane swiveled his chair right and left a few times then said, "Get him."

***

Virgil entered the office, whistling brightly with a grin on his face. "You wanted to see me, boss?" he said, then saw the bags on the table and his face fell. "Oh."

"Sit down," Shane said, motioning for him to grab one of the plastic scoop chairs lining the wall. Virgil did and dragged it over to the desk, legs clacking on tile.

"Damn, I'm sorry, boss, I-" Virgil started, but Shane held up a hand to cut him off.

"All I want to know, Virg.," Shane said. "All I want to know is this: Are you drinking again?"

Virgil's head snapped back and he made a wry face. "What? No! Why would you...?"

"For a senior man, you've been making a lot of rookie mistakes lately, Virg. I'm not out of line asking."

Virgil nodded his head. "Yeah, right."

"If you are, you have to tell me now. Right now. Fuck these bags, Virg.," Shane swept them off the desk and launched them at the trash can. "You're down there working with heavy equipment, training some young folks. If you're drinking again, we have to deal with it. You understand?"

Virgil's head continued nodding. "No, I get it. You're right. Absolutely."

Then nobody said anything for a stretch of time. Virgil nodded at Brian and smiled, then back to Shane.

"So?" Shane prodded. "What the hell, Virgil?"

"Well, I got married, you see," Virgil scratched the back of his neck. "And I'm meeting my wife for the first time tonight. I guess I'm a little nervous about it."

***

Her name was Sabrina and Virgil had - surprise! - met her on-line. They'd connected over a series of digital images posted to a social media site depicting a scenic wilderness. Virgil made a comment that he'd love to camp there; Sabrina replied that it would be worth the trip. Virgil thought her profile picture was compelling so he replied back saying, well, hope to see you there!

And they're off!

In a protracted series of friendly, but not flirty, posts; Sabrina expressed a love for camping and outdoors in general. She posted pictures of herself standing in sun-drenched fields of flowers and sitting around campfires in shadowy forests; always looking super cute with her wide eyes and big smile, braided hair and tanned skin, wearing hiking pants and cotton T's. Virgil responded with gentle compliments, careful not to sound too much like a stalker or a pervert, and always thanking her for sharing.

She pressed Virgil to post some pictures of himself - because his profile image was actually of his beloved dog, Fido, who'd died a few years back. I don't even know what you look like, she'd written. Virgil figured that would be the end of it. After all, he was bland, bald, on the wrong side of 40, and had never gotten around to losing the post-alcoholic thirty pounds. Ah well, he thought, I shouldn't be doing this type of nonsense anyway. Not fair to Sabrina either; a doll like her wasting time on a creepy old troll like me. So he sent an image from one of the office retreats when Shane had taken the whole crew fishing - Virgil sitting in a deck chair with a rod in one hand, a bottle of seltzer in the other, and a stupid, floppy Gilligan hat covering his head. It had been a good day and, in the picture, he was smiling and happy. It may not have been flattering, but it was honest.

I guess I should have warned you I'm old and ugly, Virgil commented when he sent Sabrina the picture.

Shut up! she replied. You look adorable!!!

Kind of her to say, Virgil thought, but he didn't expect Sabrina to maintain the frequency of their communication going forward.

However, it didn't stop; it didn't even slow down. Sabrina continued contacting Virgil many times a day; mostly to share something fun, but occasionally asking for his opinion or advise. You're so smart, she'd write, and; I really value your friendship.

She inquired about his life - where he worked, what else did he enjoy besides camping? Why wasn't he married? But don't answer if you don't want to!

Before long, Sabrina knew everything there was to know about Virgil Templeton:

Divorce is hard, I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I'm so proud you were able to quit drinking. My father never did and it killed him in the end. Please, stay strong for me!

That's a long time to be with one company! You must be very good at your job!

And so forth.

Conversely, Virgil learned an awful lot about Sabrina Achari:

She said was in her mid-thirties and worked as an administrative assistant for the government where she lived - a small island nation in the Indian Ocean called Macnas. A pretty place - she'd really love for Virgil to see it some day! - but it was poor and mismanaged. Not much tourism because it can be dangerous, especially after dark.

But you don't need to worry about me! I'm pretty safe because of where I work.

At one point during this 21st century courtship, Sabrina went silent for days. She didn't respond to Virgil's posts or even emails sent directly to her account.

Virgil worried about her intensely; but he also wondered if it was just her way of getting rid of a bothersome old man.

So he stayed up all night crafting an email insisting that she contact him, if she was able, just to let him know she was safe. As long as he knew she was okay, he wouldn't mind saying goodbye forever if she had grown tired of him.

He read it over and over again, making sure the tone was right. Then, with the first rays of sun spilling through the window, Virgil finally steeled his nerves enough to click Send.

And he waited. And waited. And despaired. And spent another long night writing an email he wouldn't send, because the next morning she finally responded.

I love you so much, Sabrina replied. I would never just stop talking to you!

I love you. 1.4.3. For the first time, it was said (written, posted, texted, commented, whatever) between them.

And, having read those words, Virgil felt, well, he felt.... He felt drunk. Happily drunk.

However, the rest of Sabrina's reply was worrisome. The reason she'd been off-line so long was because the government had to move its offices suddenly and it took a while for them to get their internet connection back. She made it sound as if it was no big deal, but, reading between the lines, Virgil could tell. She was scared. Governments don't just pack up and move in the middle of the night. Not even shitty little third world governments.

Virgil wanted to respond quickly, so he didn't waste any time firing off a reply. In it, he gushed about how happy he was to hear from her, how much he'd prayed for her safety, and how he loved her too.

And he wrote that she would have to come to America as soon as possible. She couldn't stay there any longer.

Honestly, Sabrina wrote back, I wouldn't mind leaving. This is my home, and I love it here, but it's become so different these past years. Unfortunately, I can't manage to move now. Soon, hopefully, but not now.

Is it money? Do you need money?

It's complicated.

If it's just money...?

I love you, Virgil, but I'm not taking any money from you. I couldn't do that. You have to understand.

I have enough money, it's not a problem. I love you so much - I need you to be safe.

Let's not talk about it anymore. I'm okay now. Thank you very much, however, you're very sweet.

If we were married, it wouldn't be my money. It would be our money.

...

Can you Skype?

***

One month later and Virgil was a married man with a wife he'd never actually met in the flesh en-route somewhere over, oh, probably New Jersey by now.

Being men of the world, Shane and Brian circled around the elephant, trying to find safe landing, but Virgil grounded them first:

"I know it might be a scam, guys. Marrying a woman I only know from the internet? I can't believe I'm doing it myself. But what if she is just like she says? What if she really does love me? Guys, this could be my last chance."

Shane used the opening to ply his employee with contact information for a smart attorney, a good doctor, and a worldly priest. Virgil promised he would call them, all of them, when the time was right.

As a man of the world, it was the best Shane could do.

***

Standing at the window overlooking the factory floor, Shane said, "Look at your boy."

Brian laughed. "Right?"

Below them, Virgil Templeton was dancing with a broom, swinging the handle around like it was Ginger Rogers. He handed it back to the janitor who shook his head, laughing. Virgil went over to the line where he told some jokes and slapped some backs and made all the workers there smile. He back-stepped away from the heavy equipment towards the hallway where he had an office in the admin wing, throwing a salute. People waved at him as he left.

"What it is?" Brian continued. "For the first time in his life, Virgil's gettin' sum on a regular basis."

"God bless 'im," Shane said, returning to his desk. "God bless her, too, I guess. Maybe she's not a scammer after all."

Brian sat across from his boss. "Only time will tell."

"True." Shane collated some papers, arraigned some folders, and looked at the photograph of his own family - wife and three children in a gold frame. "Have you met her yet?"

"Not yet," Brian replied. "He says soon. They're still getting settled." He made an obscene gesture with a finger pumping through a thumb/index circle.

"Nice. What are you, twelve years old?"

"Hey, I'm just trying to keep up around here. You know what Virgil told me the other day? He said, 'You need to find yourself an Island girl. They're different!' He didn't actually wink wink, nudge nudge, but I got the drift."

"He didn't really say that? Our Virgil?"

Brian nodded.

"Well, God bless 'im."

Shane slid some papers across the desk for Brian to read. Both men studied the sheets for a while until Shane lifted his head and said, "Still. I'd like you to keep an eye on him."

"Yeah. I know."

"When she breaks his heart, that bottle's going to call him out by name."

Brian nodded solemnly. And these men of the world returned to their work.

***

Brian burst through Shane's office door and said, "You will NOT believe this!"

Shane, water glass raised to his mouth, held up a finger for Brian to wait.

But Brian did not wait, instead he said in a rush, "Virgil just ate a pubic hair sandwich!"

Somehow, Shane managed to set the water down without spilling a drop. "You asshole," he said. "While I'm drinking? You couldn't wait?"

Brian threw himself in the chair. "We're sitting together in the break room and Virgil pulls out his sandwich and starts laughing, for no reason I can see, so I ask him what's funny. Then I notice all these curly black hairs on the bread."

Shane blew his nose, motioning for Brian to continue.

"We're all alone in the room, but he leans forward and whispers like the walls have ears, 'Sabrina's hair', and the way he said hair...."

Shane made some sounds and shook his head. "What? Why?"

"Well, apparently they were talking after sex - that part's implied - and she asks about his ex-wife. He tells her how, when they were first married, his ex had been real sweet and all - putting love notes in his lunch and stuff - but that it didn't last very long.

"So Sabrina apologizes because she's never put any kind of note in Virgil's lunch, and then he tells her 'It's okay, you're not that type of wife, thank God!'"

"And today she put a note in his lunch?"

"I guess so!"

Shane looked at Brian meaningfully. He arched an eyebrow.

"Well?" Shane asked.

"What?"

"Did he actually eat it?"

Eyes wide as saucers, Brian nodded Yes!

***

"I'm suing this company for sexual harassment," Brian said, closing Shane's office door behind him.

"Fuck you." Shane responded. "Suck my dick, too."

"You're the one told me to keep an eye on Virgil. You're responsible."

"For what?"

"Today," Brian sobbed comically, "he made me feel inadequate."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Brian sat down, hooked a leg over a knee, leaned back and asked, "Have you ever had a threesome?"

"Are you making an offer?"

"No, that's what Virgil asked me today. Have I ever had a threesome."

"Oh Lord what now?"

"Well, Goody Sabrina has found a small community of immigrants from her paradise island home and, occasionally, they like to get together to talk about the motherland. As immigrants do. Anyway, Virgil came home last night just as the party was breaking up and his loving wife introduced him to a very special friend - a girlfriend she'd known since childhood."

"Do I want to hear this?"

"I didn't. Anyway, one thing leads to another and today Virgil asks me if I've ever had a fucking threesome. Do you know any good lawyers? I'm suing this dump."

"He must have been joking."

"You know Virgil better than that."

"That's right, I do. He'd never swagger around bragging about something like that."

"Who said bragging? No, he was being serious. He wanted to know how to handle himself." Brian leaned forward. "Shane, he was asking for advice."

"I don't want to hear this."

"Yeah? Tough shit. I had to," Brian pointed a finger for emphasis. "You have to."

***

Virgil smiled and nodded to the small gang of Macnas-ites as he passed them entering his house while they were leaving. As a people, they were brown and short with big smiles and bright teeth. Most of the gaggle coming out of his house were girls, but two petite men blended in with the crowd. All of them giggling and tugging each other on their way.

A happy people.

Sabrina greeted Virgil at the door with a deep kiss and her hand on his buttock. He reciprocated enthusiastically.

"Come see," she said, taking his hand and pulling him inside. "This is unbelievable!"

She led him to the living room where she presented one of her countrymen. Or, more apropos, country-WOMAN: A very pretty girl with long black hair and a trim figure who bowed her head and spoke in broken English.

"So happy to meet you, Mr. Virgil sir."

\***

The girl's name was Shubra and she had been Sabrina's best friend growing up in Macnas. They sat on the couch and chattered back and forth in their native tongue, of which Virgil understood not a word. Every once and a while, Sabrina would explain something to him, but it didn't take long for Virgil to realize he was a third wheel in this reunion, so he offered to go and bring back food. Of course Shubra would stay for dinner! Virgil exclaimed. He couldn't let such a lovely lady leave his house hungry.

Oh, how they giggled at that one.

\***

Later, after food and drink (wine for the ladies, seltzer for Virg.) they rested in the sitting room. Virgil took the sofa while Shubra and Sabrina sat smooshed together on the love-seat, arms circling each other.

They were, apparently, very close friends.

And they mostly spoke to each other in Macnas-esse (if that was such a thing) for Virgil spent the evening cocking his head like a confused dog - unable to follow any of the conversation between the two women.

At one point Sabrina howled with laughter and their voices rose to a level of near hysterics. Sabrina caught her breath and explained to her husband:

"Shubra wants to know if it's true about the white man," she said. "The size."

Virgil, bless his soul, didn't get it at first, until he noticed both of the women gazing at his crotch.

"Macnes men are small," Sabrina explained. "It is a well-known problem on the island."

The best-friends howled and hugged on each other more and Virgil blushed until his hair turned red, then Sabrina launched herself from the love-seat and yanked him standing.

"Show her!" she demanded, fiddling with his zipper.

Virgil liked to die.

But, a testament to his stamina, he didn't even pass out when Sabrina tugged him lose and hung America's Pride over the crotch of his khaki Dockers.

Both girls laughed and it sounded like screams.

Then Sabrina said something in the foreign language and translated to English, "Wait, it gets better!"

And she took Virgil in her mouth.

Then, it was very possible Virgil did die for a petite moment. Certainly, his heart briefly stopped. Also, his vision failed. When he regained control of all his senses, he discovered Shubra had taken a knee next to Sabrina, both women laughing as they passed his rod between them; each taking a taste in turn.

\***

In the bedroom, on the bed, Virgil was worse than useless. He'd lost his tongue and his muscles. He couldn't contribute at all to the unraveling events. His wife and her best friend caressed each other, kissed each other, licked each other; and he just sat there on the corner of the mattress like a dork; hand's folded like a peaked tent over his aching dick which, honestly, didn't give a shit. It just wanted to get in the game, man!

But when the women tried to coax Virgil into the pile, he went hesitantly, and only with intentions for Sabrina. When she tried to guide him toward Shubra, he rebelled and retreated to his corner. At one point, he harshly pushed Shubra's ass away when she'd thrust it at his face. The women laughed about that, and Sabrina went to work calming the situation, but the damage had been done.

Sadly, Virgil just didn't know how to handle himself at an orgy.

\***

Shubra snored in her sleep. She was on the far side of the bed between Sabrina and Virgil.

Sabrina carefully unraveled herself from Shubra, rolled over and placed her hand on Virgil's heart and said, "You're awake? ... You're mad?"

"...no..."

"You didn't like it?"

"...nuh..."

"You didn't?"

"Sabrina, I...."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. I'm sorry."

...

"The island is different," Sabrina nuzzled against her husband. "When we're young girls.... We have to take care of each other. We have to teach one another. It is like a tradition, yes? We survive together."

"Okay."

"I hope you're not mad."

"I'm not."

"I love you, only you. But Shubra...? She is part of me. She is very much like me. When I touch her, I touch me. Do you understand? When you touch her, you touch me. Yes?"

She hiked a leg over his stomach. He felt her wet sex pushed against his hip. Her breasts against the side of his chest.

"...okay..."

"Don't be mad." Her tongue found his ear.

"I'm not. It was just.... Unexpected. Better stop. You'll wake her."

"You're upset. It won't happen again. I'm so sorry."

"No. I'm okay. It's okay. It was just.... Unexpected."

"If she wakes up...," Sabrina didn't finish the sentence; she just rolled on top of her husband and reached for his stiffening dick.

***

"He wanted to know if all young people today partake in the ménage," Brian concluded. "He was worried that he'd been too... what's the word he used?... fuddy-duddy about the whole thing."

"So what did you tell him?"

"Nothing, man! I just hemmed and hawed and said whatever like a hundred times before making some excuse to run away."

"Maybe I should talk to him," Shane said. "After all, I do have more experience with that sort of thing."

Brian made jerking-off motions with both fists. "Switching hands doesn't count."

"Oh, never-mind then." Shane sighed. "How concerned should we be about this?"

"Yeah, well, it's going to end badly," Brian said. "That's plenty obvious. I just don't think there's anything we can do right now."

"I could call Archer. He could run a background check."

"And what would that accomplish? No matter what he found, Virgil wouldn't listen. And he would resent the hell out of you for doing it, too." Brian shrugged. "Look at it this way - maybe Virgil is being taken for a ride, but what a ride!"

***

Time passes. Virgil's work performance remains steady, but his bonhomie demeanor starts to fade. There are days where he's just checked out; still doing his job, but otherwise disengaged. At first these days are rare, and then they become more frequent. By the end of the third month, his co-workers start to talk. They can't remember the last time anybody saw Virgil smile.

***

"Hey Virg." Brian said, entering the break-room for a cuppa. Virgil, at the corner table, didn't return the greeting. He sat there, gazing blankly at the coffee, hands on his lap, a furrow upon his brow.

"Heeeeeeey," Brian tried again. Again, nothing.

"Yo! Virg!"

With that, Virgil snapped out of it and jerked to attention. His knees whacked the bottom of the table, knocking over his cup. Coffee went everywhere.

"Oh, man, I'm sorry." Brian grabbed some paper towels. When he got there, Virgil was standing, coffee dripping off his pants. A puddle at his feet.

Brian held out the towels, but Virgil didn't take them. "Virg?"

Brian then noticed tears welling up in Virgil's eyes. Almost spilling over.

"Virg? You okay?"

"What?" Virgil aggressively wiped his face. "Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I'll clean it up. Sorry."

Brian went for more towels and came back to help, kneeling on the floor next to Virgil.

"What's up, man? You look bad."

"No, I just.... Late night is all. My wife's brother is staying for a visit."

"Oh?"

Virgil nodded. He wiped his nose. "She says her brother."

***

Sabrina called him Jimmy and, from the moment he'd entered their house, she was never an arm's length away from the boy; constantly taking his hand, squeezing his narrow shoulders or fussing with his long black hair.

"My loving brother!" she exclaimed. "He's going to stay with us a few weeks - isn't that great!"

Jimmy didn't say much. He smiled a lot, but spoke infrequently and when he did his voice was soft and barely above a whisper, so Virgil didn't catch much of what was said.

The brother seemed nice enough, though. A very small man - shorter, even, than Sabrina - with delicate features. Like his sister, he had big, dark eyes.

But sometimes Virgil would sense those eyes on him, turn and see a thin-lipped smile spreading across the boy's unnaturally handsome face, and he would feel.... Uneasy.

\***

Virgil normally liked to announce his return from work with a boisterous call or a suggestive comment, but since Jimmy had been staying with them, he'd been more subdued.

He unlocked the door, stepped into his house, and went to the kitchen where he got a bottle of seltzer. "Babe?" he called out, heading for the living room. "Jimmy?"

In the master, he found Sabrina reclining on the bed halfway under a thin, white sheet; breasts exposed, the form of her dark pubic triangle visible. She held out her arms for him.

"Mmmm," her voice was sleepy. Dopey. "You're home."

Virgil took a step towards the bed then stopped. The master bath was open and he saw movement through the door. Jimmy, naked, appeared in the doorway. He spread his arms to grab each side of the frame and stood there with his slightly aroused penis dangling freely and that thin, sinister smile on his face.

"Come," Sabrina beckoned, curling her fingers.

Once again, Virgil's body failed him. Unable to move, he made a low noise and one knee buckled, causing him to teeter. Sabrina was out of the bed in a flash, grabbing him around his waist, leading him to the sheets. She made loving noises. Her hands and mouth were all over his face, smothering him with kisses, stroking his cheek then the back of his head.

She moved down to his neck, kissing and nipping at his throat. Her hands unclasped the few buttons on his Polo short-sleeve. Virgil felt another set of small hands reach around from behind. They pulled his shirt un-tucked and then went to work on his belt.

Virgil twitched, tried to move away, but there was nowhere to go. Sabrina, on her knees now, pushed his head between her breasts, cooed at him like a child. Called him "baby". Told him to shush.

Now his shirt was off. Behind, thin lips pressed against his shoulder blades. Hands moved up his stomach and tweaked his nipples.

Before him, Sabrina laughed and rose up, standing precariously on the mattress. It was just the right height and she guided Virgil's face towards her sex. Jimmy whispered, "yes," and Virgil felt the hot breath on the back of his ear.

She says her brother....

\***

Virgil asked for medical leave to have voluntary hernia surgery. Shane gladly signed off, telling him to take all the time he needed. The man looked bad. In conference with Brian, they concluded that this was it - Virgil's bizarre marriage must finally be coming to an end.

They resolved to keep tabs on him; make sure he didn't do anything too stupid. Shane knew a very good lawyer who would handle the divorce; still, it would certainly cost Virgil a ton of money to get away from this vixen. Nevertheless, Shane also knew how much Virgil's stock options were worth. He could absorb a hit and still manage retirement.

As long as he didn't do anything too stupid.

***

Two weeks leave turned to a month. Six weeks. Two months. Throughout, Shane and Brian made frequent phone calls and sent numerous emails inquiring about Virgil's health. The replies were always vague and grew increasingly hostile:

I'm still sick. You can fire me if you want. I'll see you in court.

That's how Virgil responded to Shane's last email inquiring if he and his wife would be attending the Company's Fall Picnic.

***

No other cars were parked around the house when Shane pulled his Lexus GX into the driveway. He worried that he'd made the trip in vain. The yard hadn't been attended to in a while; it was covered by fallen leaves with clumps of weeds growing through. Shane picked up two of those nuisance freebee newspapers on his way to the front door.

It was a nice, one story red-brick in a peaceful suburban neighborhood. Upper-upper middle class. Shane pushed the buzzer and waited.

He listened intently, but heard no sounds coming from within. He buzzed again. Time stretched. He muttered a profanity under his breath and turned to leave.

The door opened a crack. Virgil's face appeared and he asked, "What are you doing here?"

A week's worth of dirty, patchy stubble clung to the pallid skin of his cheeks. He'd also neglected to shave the ring of hair lining his scalp and it grew over his ears, grey and stringy.

But worse, his eyes: they had sunken into his skull, creating two deep, black pools on his face.

"Christ, Virg.," Shane said. "You look like shit."

Virgil had a hard time processing that information. He just shook his head, scowling.

"Hell," Shane approached the door. "Let me get a look at you."

Virgil closed the crack, peering out with only one eye. "Go away," he said.

"Virgil, buddy," Shane pressed. "You gotta come with me right now to go see a doctor. Come on."

"I can't," Virgil said. "You need to leave. Sabrina will be home soon."

"Bullshit," Shane took another step and Virgil slammed the door. "Virgil!" Shane pounded. "Come on, man, open up!"

A muffled voice through the door said, "Leave or I'll call the cops."

"And tell them what? Come on, Virgil, let me in." Shane pounded some more. "Virgil!"

Shane gave up on the front door and jogged around to the back. That door was locked, too, and he got no response when he hammered on it. "Virgil! Goddamn it!"

He cupped hands around his eyes and peered through the kitchen window. At the other side of the house, a skeletal shape crossed the entry to the bedrooms' hallway. "Virgil!" He rapped knuckles against the glass.

Another shape appeared in the hallway; short and dark in the internal shadows of the house. Shane had difficulty making out any features, but it looked like a man - or maybe a boy? - standing there naked.

Then it was gone.

Shane backed away. "Hell," he said.

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