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I sold a tray of extra tomato seedlings today at a community yard sale, I might start selling plants regularly! It was so much fun talking with people and seeing my little seedlings go home with new parents. It was a spur of the moment thing so I only had a handful of 2-3wk old tomatoes but people still snapped them up in under an hour.
I always feel awkward selling things to people because I can't make any guarantee about its quality like a proper farmer or grocery would be able to, so I almost wanted to give them all away for free, but I was persuaded to just put a small price tag on them instead. Next march I'll start 4x as many tomatoes because lord knows I have the seeds for it, although maybe not the space. Greenhouse first, then plant business? So many possibilities! It just made me so happy.
Mostly Renee's Garden's Black Krim variety, they germinated incredibly well, but some other surplus varieties as well.
#time to grow#gardenblr#organic gardening#seed starting#Small business?? Maybe? Not really to make money but make people happy#Psychic vampire but in reverse
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ㅤ. 𓂂 Twisted Wonderland ⊹
general lilia x fem!reader ꒱ fanfic
ㅤㅤ ˖ chapter two ׄ ⊹ 𓂃
‧₊˚✩ tags: gilf, sfw, fluff, angst, slowburn
‧₊˚✩ word count: 1308
‧₊˚✩ summary: You’re a mix of human, and fae; it sounds otherworldly—extraordinary, however, while your origin may sound like another case of a Mary Sue cliche, the people of both worlds of your kind had casted you aside because of your mongrel background… that was until you met Lilia, your becoming mentor who’ll introduce you to the world of your human blood’s counterpart, and blend in the faes’ society.
‧₊˚✩ a/n: sorry for the short and emo chapter, love yew
ㅤㅤ ୨ ◟ ͜ ◞◟ ͜ ◞ previous ch.⠀♡ next ch.
The next day was quite the same. You were woken up by your cavalier mentor who was roughly shaking your shoulder, and pulling your ear.
You were a heavy sleeper, but he didn’t have to snatch your pillow away.
You’re now stretching with him—early in the morning. Both of you are silent, and only the sounds of knuckles popping, and limbs stretching were heard.
You were so awkward, you were sweating. Does he normally wake up this hour?
5:00 AM?
You had just been registered as his “special” apprentice. He cannot be making you do these hardcore routines… you were even more appalled when the day unfolded at this point; “you’re going to kill someone today.”
Lilia cracked his neck, letting out a soft sigh as if he didn’t just say the craziest thing ever (to you). There was no way you had the balls to kill someone…
“What the? Don’t you think we’re going too fast? I just started yesterday..” you muttered, twiddling with your moist, trembling fingers. You rubbed the creases of your knuckle, already feeling stressed at the mere thought of handling a sword—for real this time.
“It’s just a practice,” Lilia shrugged, zipping up his bag. “It’s going to be a long trip all the way back to the human realm.” He patted his leather suitcase, the fabric bulging of what seemed to be baggy clothes, and toiletries.
“Yeah.. a practice. But why are you bringing all of that? Didn’t it take a five minute walk back from the woods to the entrance of Briar Valley?” You scratched your nape, waiting for a reply, only to be met with a glare as if a cue to shut your bumbling.
“We’re going to the outskirts of the human realm,” he sounded so annoyed. You were just asking a question… querying a perfectly, and reasonable question.
But of course you zipped your little peephole.
You didn’t want to die yet.
As he led you outside, holding his bag along your smaller one—since you don’t have much to your name—you were enamoured by the view of the palace’s exterior.
Yesterday, when you first arrived, it was too dark to admire the close-ups of a real life castle, and Briar Valley’s was especially beautiful.
It was grand, painted with monochromatic colour palettes, and donned with a gothic ornate style.
You almost felt as if you were in a trance. You didn’t even realize your legs had wandered off to a set of stained glass windows.
They were colourful, pretty, and told a thought-provoking story you couldn’t quite put your finger on.
But what really intrigued you was this mosaic; it was a picture of an intimidating, and beautiful lady with a pair of black horns bulging out her head.
It was as if your legs had a mind of their own—calling you to go here, and there.
Suddenly, you were again woken up from your “maladaptive” fantasies by a rough shaking on your sleeve.
You instantly knew who it was.
The angry hand is now pulling at your ear, scolding you for wandering off like that when he was just putting both your guys’ luggage inside the carriage.
You muttered a sheepish, and timid apology before rushing to the carriage from behind him.
You plopped your butt down on the plush, velvet cushions, clasping your hands awkwardly on your lap. You let your eyes feather on Lilia’s visage, mapping out every little detail in curiosity.
You squint your eyes
He’s resting his chin on his palm, looking out the window. “What?” He started, flicking his gaze over you. “Nothing.” You gulped.
His long bangs brushed along the curve of his jaw, his jet black ponytail swishing behind his back.
“You’re going to kill old people, don’t worry.” He failed to reassure you.. “The old, human citizens that are on the brink of death.” He continued.
You don’t even want to say anything to that. You just nodded bashfully before finally averting your gaze.
Hours passed, and you could see the moon was already rising. The wheels rattled, the carriage hitting a bumpy road that made you bounce up, and down in your seat.
You grasped onto the handle, rubbing your eyes groggily.
It really was a long ride. You wondered which part of the human realm Lilia was taking you to…
You sprung awoke, gasping. You run a sweaty palm through your hair, and glanced down next to you. “Are you always like this when you wake up?” Lilia scoffed, rubbing his temples.
There were bags under his eyes, and you’re not even realizing yet that you were sleeping in the same bed as him.
“You’re always a deep sleeper, I had to drag you into the inn. We’re in ***.” He pressed a hand to your chest, pushing you back down against the sheets.
“The innkeeper did a funny job of giving us a room with only one bed,” he sighed, subtly gesturing to the pillow barrier he set between the two of you.
You let out a gruff “oh” before scratching your nape.
You honestly don’t know why you woke up so panicked like that. You took a deep breath before grabbing the glass of water from the bedside, chugging.
“Nightmare?” Lilia let out a mocking chuckle, but you didn’t respond. Actually, you were starting to remember now that he mentioned “nightmare”. You simply just had a crazy dream of being bewitched by something or someone.
But you were watching it all unfold through third person.
It gave you the creeps of how you were watching yourself become hypnotized or something. The memory was fresh, and vivid now. Your pupils had glimmered an emerald green unlike the usual black.
You shivered at that.
It wasn’t even that bad of a dream, but it still scared you. It was disturbing.
Perhaps the dream is the manifestation of your trepidation—impending fear for what’s to come.
For what you have to do.
You didn’t want to kill anyone.
You’re not sure if this could truly be the solution to become a real faerie.
“Hey,” he’s calling you “hey” again. “Actually, my name is Y/N.” You corrected, but earned no reply.
“Who’s your parents? Which one’s the faerie?” Lilia blurted, lying with his chin on his hand again. He’s looking you up, and down.
He gave you that grudging bitch stare that always ruffles your feathers.
You inhaled deeply.
It was dark but you noticed that he was, uhh… shirtless underneath the colourful quilt.
You swore you were just flashed.
You cleared your throat before responding “my mother.” Your voice cracked, and you seethed under your breath, cringing.
“Really?” He hummed, “so why’d she choose to be with your father?” he reached to pinch your nose, and you let out a tiny yelp at that.
“She said he was extremely handsome, so she couldn’t resist.” You groaned, rubbing the bridge of your nose. Lilia’s eyes softened, rounding.
You heard him mutter something, but you couldn’t tell what he said.
“Okay, go back to sleep, tomorrow morning’s the day.” He pressed your chest insistently to the sheets again.
You lied down, and fluttered your eyes. You can’t sleep.
You rubbed your eyes, blinking at the cracks on the ceiling. You’re now picking at your lip skin, thinking about random things to pass the time.
You listened to the clock ticking eerily, and for a moment your ears rang, and a flicker of your earlier dream flashed in your mind, causing you to wince.
You rubbed your eyes again, groaning.
The day has finally come, and you’re fumbling with the buttons of your shirt. Your pulse is fluttering amok, fearing today's upcoming events for you.
Lilia had just gone downstairs to fetch you breakfast while you panic, and dress up for the day.
#i love you#monochrome#monochomatic#twisted wonderland#disney twst#lilia vanrouge#lilia vanrouge x reader#twisted wonderland lilia#twst lilia#twst lilia vanrouge#twst lilia x reader#twst fanfic#twst x reader#twst
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ignore the fact I’m sending this right after u posted… I got notifs on for u!!!
I lowkey do not remember if Joel got got in this universe.. but Ellie texts Joel asking for advice bcz she rlly loves reader and Joel helps her draft up a paragraph (bonus points if she tries her hardest to use good grammar) and a date :3
great work guys im gonna start putting you to work more often and i hate to break it to u guys but this is the final part 🙁 yes yes so sad BUT it was fun i hope... but like theres not much left to do w it so unless someone sends like a REALLLLYYY good idea this is it i fear hope u guys enjoy
(this is ellies pov again btw)
⋆ texts with dealer!ellie — tlou discord server









the air was stuffy, blowing into your face and through your hair when you open the door. you didn't bother putting on anything decent, residing in your lounge clothes without caring for ellie's opinion. you saw her, looking down at her phone and leaning against the door of her car with a bouquet of flowers in her hand. she looks up as she hears the noise, standing up straighter and slipping her phone into her pocket. she smiles half-heartedly and it almost makes you swoon.
you walk down the path way until you reach ellie, the wind blowing the scent of her to seep into you entirely. it smells so nostalgic. "ellie." you mutter in a hushed tone. she hands out the bouquet to you, the red roses looking a little smushed and on their way out. you examined them, seeing the price tag on the cellophane encasing the flowers. they were on clearance. "5 bucks for half rotted flowers? wow, you must be really sorry." the sarcasm in your voice made ellie's smile falter. "this was all they had left." she admits, her voice sounding quieter than yours, if that was even possible.
she sounds genuine, you think, and seeing the smile fall from her face does make your heart ache. were you really feeling pitiful for her? "i got— there's other stuff too." she stammers nervously, you'd never seen her like this before. so bashful, her shoulders slumped. so different to the usual loud and confident ellie you know, or knew. "half rotted chocolate next?" you keep up with the sarcasm, the hurt burrowed in your heart taking priority over your pity. "no." she huffs out a small laugh, but it's more nervous and awkward than anything. she feels insecure that you still haven't accepted the flowers yet.
"it's just some stuff you said you liked. candy, that chapstick you talked about, those cds you were looking everywhere for." she says it like it's no big deal, like your heart didn't drop to your stomach at her remembrance of the offhanded things you said while smoking. "really?" you can't believe it, or rather, you don't want to believe it. cause then you would be wrong about ellie, everything you thought she was. "what? you don't believe me?" she scoffs and her shy demeanor vanishes slightly, anger flowing through her. you thought that low of her? for you to think she was lying straight to your face?
"it was silent after her tiny outburst. she clears her throat, she didn't mean that. "yes, really..." she corrects herself. she tries again, holding the flowers out further to you, gesturing for you to take them. "this doesn't change anything." you couldn't look at her as you took the flowers from her finally. "it does." she whispers, watching as you brought the bouquet up to your face to smell the roses. "maybe." you feed into it, going along with what was happening. "i'm crazy about you. you do crazy shit to my head." ellie admits. "
it was silent after her tiny outburst. she clears her throat, she didn't mean that. "yes, really..." she corrects herself. she tries again, holding the flowers out further to you, gesturing for you to take them. "this doesn't change anything." you couldn't look at her as you took the flowers from her finally. "it does." she whispers, watching as you brought the bouquet up to your face to smell the roses. "maybe." you feed into it, going along with what was happening. "i'm crazy about you. you do crazy shit to my head." ellie admits.
"i want to forgive you." you follow her honesty, admitting your own feelings. "then forgive me." she pleads, hands finding their way to your waist. "i'm scared." it was the truth, she'd hurt you once who was to say she wouldn't do it again? "then we can be scared together." she swallows nervously, taking in your features, your reaction to her words. you felt better, as sick as it was. knowing she was scared too made it somehow feel less scary. she would probably hurt you again, maybe next tuesday, but like she said. how is she supposed to grow if you don't give her a chance.
tags : @kokoch4nel @ellies1luvr @frillydolle @macaroni676 @lilibach @prettyyyy-girl @anonymous-user240 @liizzygrant @yourl0caltrash @cattjull @liztreez @luvcalii @lexxvy @ifiwereabug @aria7silver @starpix @liasxeatt @satorix @wishesofficial @polarhues @usuck @eclipcee8 @nosferatuv @clouded-whispers @dykesofcydonia @rhyrhy @witzs @fawnedolly @confiaenanaa @elliecoochieeater @minnixiii @n0t-elliewilliams @yaegerphobic . @abbysgolf-club
dealer!ellie masterlist
#🍄 ⋆ the last of us#dealer!ellie#the last of us x reader#the last of us#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#ellie williams smut#ellie the last of us#ellie williams texts#ellie williams smau#tlou x reader#tlou#texts with ellie williams#tlou smau#the last of us smau
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fire up the night
sebastian (stardew valley)/f! reader | read it on ao3 sebastian just wants to go home… that is until you catch him by the door of the club, offering him something he can't refuse | inspired by the song fire up the night by new medicine wc: 5.2k tags: smut, spit play, piv sex, multiple orgasms masterlist
sebastian hates absolutely everything about this night.
the music is too loud and the dj keeps skipping to another song without properly mixing. sam, next to him, is having the absolute time of his life, headbanging to every single song, no matter how short, no matter how badly blended, if at all, into the next, no matter how many people bump into him and spill their drink over his shoes. sebastian's feet are sticking to the floor of the club, squelching as he tries to lift them, if anything just to keep moving them and not feel like he's stuck in quicksand.
looking over most people's heads, a perk of being slightly taller than average, he can see there's barely any space in the room, so many heads of different colors moving simultaneously, some pressed together, making out in the middle of the floor. he rolls his eyes, lighting another cigarette, continuing his coping habit of chain-smoking to feel something, to not feel awkward about his hands, to have a purpose, when a figure knocks into him. he's ready to shoot his meanest, most venomous glare their way, but the genuine smile, the apologetic eyes, and the hands that hold onto his elbow for balance catch him off guard.
"shit— i'm so sorry," you say, "fucking glass…" as you look down to where you tripped over someone's disgustingly discarded glass bottle clinking along the floor, he takes the moment to glance at your body, already unable to help but imagine what it would look like squished under him.
very quickly, he feels the back of his neck heating up as you remember to let go of his elbow, but not before he manages to drop the cigarette that dangled precariously from his parted lips.
"ah, fuck." sebastian looks away in embarrassment, stepping with the sticky sole of his shoe on the cigarette rolling across the floor before quickly taking out another, lighting it immediately in an attempt to get his hands busy and not think about what it would feel like if he could touch you.
"i— sorry about that as well…" you chuckle and with a look up at his flustered face, you turn and let yourself be led away by a friend making their way to the toilets.
a while later, sam is belting out the wrong lyrics to whatever stupid song is playing at the moment when sebastian realizes he's had enough. he's spent the past… however long, more than he would care to admit, thinking about the way your fingers held onto him like he was the only solid thing in the world. looking down, he notices there's enough put out cigarette butts on the sticky floor to make even him feel embarrassed, so he pulls on the sleeve of sam's jean jacket to get his attention. the blond doesn't seem too pleased to be pulled out of his zone, out of the vibe that's making his body move in such a natural, easy way, that sebastian feels almost jealous of his friend. he wishes, not for the first time, that he was able to relax around so many people the way his best friend does. he would love to actually enjoy these nights out, and not just for the first hour when the band they initially came to see is playing, but the ridiculous music afterwards, the filled up club, the push and pull of the crowd. he wishes he could stomach the alcohol, have something other than his cigarettes to help him let go and feel alive.
with a quick motion of his head, he nods toward the exit door, making sam's grin drop a little. he checks the time, quarter past two, and sighs. at least it's not only midnight like the last time sebastian asked to leave the club. that time, there was hardly any point in going if it was only for two hours for the concert. but sam always indulged him, always gave in, and not just because sebastian was his ride home. despite not being a fan of leaving so early, he understands the need for his friend to be away from people, so he doesn't argue, he tries not to show the wish that if only they could stay for a little while longer… maybe sebastian would be able to let go a little more.
they reach the exit, already feeling the breeze from the outside sneaking in through the door propped open by an empty beer bottle, when he hears someone calling out.
"hey bangs!" instinctively, he turns. stupid, he chastises himself, why would you turn to that stupid nickname? his dismay is quickly replaced with a confused, but excited curiosity. you push through the crowd to get to him, making his face redden for no reason. he can't stop his mind racing, his body reacting against his wishes. it's so stupid.
"bangs?" he repeats, cracking a cocky smile despite the way his brain is screeching at him. suddenly, there's nothing else around him but you and your amused smile, a self-satisfied little curve that proves your intention was to stop him in his tracks. well, congratulations, you did it.
"what is it, then?" you hold onto the wall for a moment, balancing yourself to lift your foot and pull out a piece of broken glass from the sole of your shoe. the casual way in which you manage to return to the conversation, or whatever has been happening between you, has him nearly stuttering. his focus is narrowed, and it ends with you, suddenly, he doesn't feel the weight of the mass of people surrounding him.
"is this how you planned on asking me for my name?" he pushes his hands into his jean pockets, feigning casualness when in fact his heart is doing somersaults and his mind is already starting to spiral, imagining how easy it would be to just push you to the wall behind you and kiss you until you give up your fearless front and admit you're desperate… because why else would you chase him down just to ask for his name?
"not smooth enough for your tastes, is it, bangs?" you joke, taking the step that's been separating you until now. he bends his head down slightly, smelling cigarette smoke and traces of perfume on your hair. you're bold, he notices, from the way you tug on his sleeve until he's bending down to allow you access to his ear. you cup your hand around it, making sure he can hear your next words.
"maybe i just wanna know what i'll be screaming later…" your cheekiness makes his breath hitch, his cheeks heat up, his heart hammer… there's no way he just heard what he thinks he did, right?
"you're bold, i'll give you that," he replies, not lifting his head, "so which version of sebastian do you think you'll be crying out?"
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
there's a sneaky little smile that creeps up onto your face as he plays along, so with one fluid movement, he steps forward, making you back up until your back meets the wall. the kiss is so sudden, you have no time to do anything other than reach up and tangle your hands into his hair. sebastian's lips seek out more of you, grabbing kiss after kiss while his hands grab for your hips, angling you so he can press his body against yours, caging you in because this is what you wanted, right? you wanted his attention, wanted to be a cheeky little brat that chased him down just as he was about to leave to put ideas into his head. and so he's playing along. he's indulging you, because it feels like he's coming back to life after being dormant for yoba knows how long. it feels like his stomach is burning with desire and life is blooming in his soul.
he doesn't even turn to look at sam as you push him away just to grab his hand and pull him through the main door, shivering with the sudden drop in temperature as the night air whips around you. the last thing he hears before the door shuts after him is sam shouting get it, seb, which would make him cringe if he wasn't currently on the way to your place, running hand in hand so fast that your feet barely touch the ground.
it's almost deadly, the way this anticipation makes him feel alive. he knows absolutely nothing about you, other than your name, that you're bold even when sober, and that he wants, more than anything he can imagine, to feel you shudder under his palms as he fucks you until you're nothing but a puddle of pleas and screams. he really wants to hear it, your soft lips letting out a scream that can only sound like his name.
quickly enough, before he can fully lose his mind, you pull him up across the porch and through the front door, nearly smashing it open with the desperation in both of you. his lips are on yours again, devouring every huff and breath he can, eating them up like he can't take a breath if it's not from your mouth. there are little moans already leaving you as his quick fingers start unzipping your jeans, tugging them down so violently that he's surprised they aren't ripping as he pulls them off your legs. clumsily, you step out of them, completely blindly trying to feel along the walls, trying to make sure you're going in the direction of the bedroom, but sebastian reaches down to grab the underside of your thighs and picks you up with little effort. your yelp dies in his mouth, in a fierce kiss with your tongues gliding together, warm breaths exchanging places.
he moves back, pressing you against the front door that slammed shut not even a full minute earlier. the wood creaks slightly as your back collides with it, but in the heat rising between you, the touches get grabbier, the kisses get shorter and interrupted by quick breaths as you try to undress.
your fingers tug on his hoodie, lifting the hem up and over his head before it lands somewhere on the floor, it doesn't fucking matter where. his hands dig into your bare thighs, just taking the time, while you rush his zipper, to feel your skin under his palms. it's what he's imagined from the very second you held onto him for balance, looking up at him with those eyes that he simply cannot wait to see as they roll back into your skull when he finally feels your cunt squeeze him tightly.
you groan once his jeans and boxers are falling down, helped by one of his hands that he reluctantly removes from the plush skin of your thigh that fits so perfectly against his palm. he steps out of them, now perfectly positioned to grind his hard cock against the thin fabric of your panties already getting wet with arousal. he pulls them aside, his brain fizzling out with just a glance at your slick, puffy folds right there, so ready, so fucking gorgeous.
"come on then," he drawls, lowering his head to bite your jaw, grazing it with his teeth as he makes his way down to your neck, "you were gonna say my name, yeah?"
"oh, but you gotta earn that, bangs." you grin, flashing your teeth at the ceiling as your head leans back in the pleasure of having your neck kissed so sloppily.
his lips pull into a smirk against your neck and he trails them back to your lips, catching them into another searing kiss, feeling like you've done this a million times before, far from the reality in which you only kissed not even an hour ago.
"oh I think I'm earnin' it, actually…" he chuckles against your skin, licking a stripe on your neck before attaching his lips and sucking a bruise into it. "…mmm I think I am, you're soaking wet already. now whom might that be for, hm?"
"don't get too big headed, bangs, you haven't even fu— ohhhh—"
your snarky little comment is promptly cut off by a squelching noise of your sopping pussy sucking in his cock. if he wasn't so twitchy from the first contact with your squeezing cunt, he would keep the snarky comments going, but it's heaven pressed against the heavy wooden door. he can't look away from how your chest rises rapidly, are you seriously struggling?
he pulls his hips back and pushes in again, feeling your velvety insides tighten around his cock as he starts off slowly, giving himself time as he lowers one hand to tug off your shirt. it's offending his eyes, covering up your perfect tits from his view. with a quiet plop, it lands somewhere on the floor, maybe joining your jeans, maybe disappearing into the void, who gives a shit… the only thing that matters is the warmth your sweet, needy little cunt provides as sebastian pushes harder into you, pressing his large palms on the flat of the door, caging you in as he starts ruthlessly fucking you while your legs tighten their hold on his waist.
your eyes shut tightly, teeth tug on the bottom lip desperately as he presses your back against the door. the sweet, honeyed moans that squeeze through your teeth are almost immediately swallowed by his heavy grunts, the sweaty skin sliding, body against body, hips slamming against hips in a mess of desire and sheer greed.
sebastian's grunts nearly have you contracting around him already, the animalistic need with which his cock hits your sweetest spots twists your insides, makes you claw at his back with the intensity never felt before. and he can feel it, he can tell you're struggling to keep the sugary whines inside your throat, so he attaches his lips to it, messily nipping at your skin.
reddened bruises bloom in the wake of his lips, creating a pattern of your fiery need, a reminder that will be with you for days, he can only imagine. his fist bangs on the door, veins popping along that pale forearm as his other hand lowers to grip your hip hard, fingertips digging into your soft skin as if there will never be a point where you're close enough to him. he tries to pull you against him harder, rougher, faster as he groans into your neck, hearing you finally release that lip from your teeth and cry out for him.
what a melody, what a noise that rips through his entire body, from the top of his head down to his toes, making his cock twitch inside you, so bravely continuing his punishing pace while you tighten around him and cum in an electric shudder that shakes his palm gripping your leg.
"se— oh fuck— fuckfuckfuuuck seb— ahhh" you groan, rolling those eyes into the back of your skull, seeing stars inside of your own head explode with the intensity of your orgasm.
"mhm… there it is," his cocky voice vibrates against your neck as he licks over the latest bruise he leaves there, "it's just seb, huh? don't have any more syllables in you?"
he knows you'd wipe that cheeky smirk off his face if only you had more control of your own body, but the puddle he's reducing you to is just as pliant and willing as he's hoped. he just knows you'd give him a hard time, and he would love it so fucking much, sebastian wants to know how you'd make him chase after you, grovel at your feet, make him roll over like a good puppy… but at this crucial point the only thing he's able to do is keep pushing his cock deep inside you, lead you to another orgasm, maybe another two, until he can't feel his legs anymore and has to be removed from your warm cunt.
in response to his teasing, you're groaning in exasperation, but still gasping for air. holding onto his back, your nails dig into his skin leaving crescent moon indents as he hikes you up higher against the door, but your legs aren't strong enough to keep yourself up clinging to his hips anymore. noticing you slipping, sebastian pulls you away from the door and turns, getting on his knees while keeping his palms firmly against your ass. slowly, not pulling out because it would be a crime, he lays you down on the floor, too eager to give a shit about comfort, the only thing on his spiraling mind is finding a way to keep thrusting into your weeping cunt, keep it fluttering around his cock, quickly getting addicted to your grip on his back.
within seconds, he's rolling his hips into you again, pinning you to the floor in desperation as your electric moans and whines fuel him further. he's getting cocky, despite the way his eyes close in pleasure, unable to keep those heavy lashes open. and it's certainly not helping him how your thighs press against his sides, keeping him sandwiched between them as he's been imagining himself from the moment you bumped into him at the club. his pelvis meets yours repeatedly, followed by the lewd noises of your cunt sucking him in, so wet, dripping, slippery as he glides in and hits your perfect spot, the one that has you curling your toes and whimpering his name in a hundred different ways.
by now, it's the only word that matters, the only one he wants you to know, the only word that should spin in your mind as he gives you exactly what you need. sebastian and—
"more— mmmph more, please!" you cry out, lifting your tear-stuck eyelashes to see his parted lips spreading into a grin, making his grunts and moans louder as he looks down at the state of you on the floor, pinned down by his nimble hand.
"oh yeah?" he leans in to steal a wet kiss from your bitten lips, "beg for it…"
groaning straight into his mouth, just before you throw your head back to meet his palm that shields it from hitting the floor, you curse, slipping in a few choice words with his name as he slows down his thrusts. brutally so, since you're already clenching around him again, on the precipice of another orgasm, and he feels it. it's the pitch of your voice in his ear, it's the way your thighs try to close against his sides, it's the sinful wetness of your pussy that just can't keep quiet with his thick cock diving back inside for more. but he's so mean, rolling those hips slower and slower until you do what he wants, until you're clawing at his back, trying to grip him harder to move him yourself. until you're lifting your hips to meet his thrusts, until you're crying real tears for him, in such a state of despair that his ego rises almost before your very eyes, no matter how barely open and tear-filled they are.
"n-no come on, jus'…" you barely start stuttering those precious words, trying to get out of begging, when his hand lands a smack against the side of your ass, stinging the flesh before he does it again.
"good girls do what they're asked, especially if they wanna cum again." those words are cold, but his breath on your lips is hot. sebastian hovers his mouth just out of reach for you, a branch bearing the juiciest fruit just high enough so you can't grab it and smear it over your lips. the tantalizing distance, so close but so far away, enough to feel and taste his breath, not enough to drink in the moans gathering on his tongue. "you do wanna cum again, don't you, pretty?"
he sees the attempt of defiance in your face, going through a loop of trying to bite back your words, bite back the chuckle that dies in your throat, never managing to quite get past the back of your mouth, but what does make it out is a loud, needy whine that almost makes him completely buckle under the weight of your desperation. it makes him slam his hips against yours a little harder, digging the head of his cock once again into you right where it presses into your soft spot.
"shit, don't do that…" he moans out, feeling you clench around him again, feeling the slower pace just as good once you can get used to it. rolling his hips into you a little harder, he leans down and gives you the kiss you've been reaching for, messy, wet, leaving you even more breathless than before, but as he pulls back, a glob of saliva lands into your mouth from his tongue.
seeing you swallow it so readily is like a punch to the gut, it kicks the air from his lungs and he stutters in his movements. oh, he wasn't expecting you to be so filthy, but now that your mouth is open again, tongue only slightly poking past your teeth, he feels his skin getting warmer again.
"oh, you dirty fucking thing…" sebastian lowers his head again, sticking his tongue out to watch a string of saliva starting from the tip end on your pink tongue. he stares at the way you roll it into your mouth and open up again, thirsty for more. "want more? told ya to beg for it."
he doesn't relent, holding his spit back as a hostage, making you squirm under him as you look up with your eyes slightly more open now. he's having way too much fun, still rolling his damn hips too slow, slower than before, wanting to make you dissolve under him, pinned to your own damn floor under his warming body. you huff, swallowing your own saliva in absence of his, opening your eyes more and more, looking at the way his dark hair falls to the side of his cocky face. attempting your best doe-eyed, pleading, manipulative look, you purposely quiver your bottom lip, pouting ever so slightly before inhaling softly.
"please, sebastian… give me more?" your voice comes out sweet and soft, almost enough to make him melt and relent. almost.
"more what?" his grin widens, hips almost unmoving as your cunt tries to keep him in.
"more… fuck me more, please? please please please, i wanna cum again, wanna cum soooo badly please…" a little whine in your voice, a little bit of that princess attitude and he's done.
almost like a full stop to your sentence, his hips speed up, slamming into you once again. and your eyes roll back, exposing the whites before you shut them tightly, biting your lip again, trying not to scream out so soon, but damn your cunt can't take it quietly. so slippery, so sopping wet it grips him tight and you have to cry to relieve the pressure building in your abdomen. nails dragging down his flesh as your ankles cross behind his lower back, his hips stutter but keep the pace as his balls smack against your ass, wet with the juices your sweet pussy can't stop leaking.
"wasn't so hard, now, was it?" he breathes against your mouth again, chuckling briefly before pulling another kiss from your pouting lips, "and now you got to cum again. be polite, say thank you."
your voice comes back in between shallow breaths, coming down from another high with bright lights behind your eyes. "tha— mmm thank you, s-sebastian."
it makes him chuckle, your sweet little words as you obey him. so far from the teasing, cocky little shit you were being before he stuffed you full of his cock and made you into his pretty little toy that's content even against the door or on the cold, hard floor. as long as you're full of him, as long as his thickness is thrusting into you and pushing all your buttons, you're happy to drool and moan his name.
"there we go, pretty thing, wasn't so hard, right?" his lips trail down to your jaw, down to your neck, down to leave a tasty bruise on your collarbone so red that he sees it even in the semi-darkness. "now you're gonna give me one more, okay?"
"h-huh?" you blink, lifting your head slightly to chase after his lips for one more kiss but he pulls away, lifting himself up on one hand as the other grips your plump thigh and lifts it higher, changing the angle so he can get even deeper inside you.
"one. more. you can do that, right? you can be good for me and cum one more time, for me?" when he puts it like that, there's not a single defiant thought in that pretty little head of yours, and it makes him smile briefly before slamming his hips rougher once more, making you whimper from the impact.
"f-fuck that's g-good…" your broken up voice is barely audible, barely reaches his ears as you try to breathe, his rough thrusts make it difficult to form thoughts, that much is clear from your blank expression.
"just good, hm? gonna have to up my game for you?" he chuckles, nipping your earlobe before pressing your thigh higher, hiking your knee over his shoulder as he fucks into you deeper, enjoying the way your eyes roll back again and again, your lips pop open to let out little gasps and fractions of his name. it's like a puzzle for him, like a game of trying to get you to say every syllable of his name he can then put into the correct order, peppering them onto your neck with sloppy kisses and bites.
"n-no aaah— please, more, more… don't stop, please baby don't stop, don't st—" you trail off, but from the way your warm cunt is fluttering around him, sebastian knows what it means. it's telling him to keep it going, to keep hitting that sweet spot inside you, to keep gliding his cock in and out of you until you're limp in his arms and all your pretty lips can manage is a string of his name and thank you. fuck, he wants you to fall in love, he wants you to be as obsessed with him as much as he is with your pliant body, with your tight little cunt that takes him in so willingly, with your filthy mouth, with your dirty little tongue that readily takes his spit. once more, as if to prove his own mind right, he lets his saliva trail from his tongue as he watches your lips part almost as if conditioned to do so at the sight of his spit. you swallow it, rolling your blushing lips together, enjoying it, savoring.
"yeah… yeah i'll give you more, pretty… you deserve it." he leans in to kiss those soft lips once more before lifting himself up again, taking a better look at your body, at the tits bouncing as he thrusts into you, at the flushed cheeks that would look so good if they were pressed against his thigh and bulging with his cock… but for now he's good with taking your legs into his hands and pushing them against your chest, getting into you as deep as he can, focusing his eyes first on your dripping pussy, that noisy little thing squelching as he ruts into her, parting those slippery folds with his thickness all the way to the base, and then looks up at your flushed face.
and he can't get enough, the sweet pout of your lips as you repeat his name like a mantra, seb, seb, sebastian, mmmm seb, the scrunch of your nose as you squish that pretty face in pleasure. the tears trailing down the sides of your face, those tears that he'll kiss later, when you're nothing but a babbling mess, when he can finally lie down and show you he can also be affectionate. affectionate… he shakes the thought out of his head for now, instead taking another look to see how his cock disappears into your cunt, how it's squeezing him so tight he wonders how he hasn't finished yet, you're so warm it's almost too good to be true.
sebastian picks up the pace, feeling himself come so close to finishing now, all it takes is one… more… fucking…
"seb! fuuuuuuck," your high pitched scream shakes him to his core, makes his movements falter for a second, the pace going out the window and his knees nearly slip on the hard floor underneath.
"mmmph shit—" he gasps out as he reaches his orgasm, shaking with the intensity of the pleasure while pumping you full of his white, sticky cum. your warm little cunt tightens around him one final time, accepting all of his release as he groans, leaning one cheek against your calf, resting his heated face. oh it's perfect, the slickness of your velvety walls, the hot sponginess of your insides gripping his cock, keeping him inside like they want him to stay. he collapses forward, landing on his forearms on the sides of your head before leaning down to bury his face into your neck. it's sweet, warm and a little sweaty from going through three orgasms, ending up in a scream of his name, exactly what you said you wanted earlier.
challenge passed i guess, he thinks, looking down at your face, the blush now spread all over it, looking so soft he could just kiss every inch of your skin. he settles for your lips. slowly, softly, letting you breathe, he presses his lips against yours and just… relaxes.
your body shakes slightly under him. opening his eyes, he realizes your eyelashes are slightly fluttering open and you're chuckling, the sweetest creases appearing on the bridge of your nose.
"i like it!" you say, voice going back to normal after so much breathiness in his ear.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
your fingers snap in front of his face, and in an instant he's on his feet, once again surrounded by people, the smell of sweat and smoke in the air and you… fully dressed standing one step in front of him with that cheeky smile tugging on your lips.
"you okay?" you ask, raising a brow and leaning in to get him to lower his head again so you can speak into his ear, "i said i like your name, bet it would sound nice echoing in my bedroom!"
sebastian feels his face redden, realizing he's been standing here like an idiot when you're practically throwing yourself at him, being so damn forward and open, and all he's done is get in his head and fantasize about what it would be like to have you…
"sorry, yeah… maybe you should— maybe we should test that theory." he saves the situation, and, seeing the smirk on your lips widen, together with a thumbs up from sam as he tilts his head to the side, sebastian sighs in relief.
hearing that little giggle from your lips, the one he's been imagining until now, he knows the night is about to get so much better. you take his hand and wave at your friends, that devious little smile being the last thing he sees before he shivers entering the darkness outside. he would question himself, think twice about whether or not this is a good idea, if he wasn't currently on the way to your place, running hand in hand so fast that your feet barely touch the ground.
#stardew valley#sdv sebastian#sebastian stardew valley#sdv sebastian x reader#stardew valley fanfiction#sdv fanfiction#stardew valley smut#sdv smut#sdv sebastian smut#sdv sebastian x reader smut#pwp#filthy smut#stardew sebastian#burekforsmutoru#ao3 smut#so3 link#ao3 author#ao3 fic
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“mikey’s not good with being vulnerable”
“hmm?” you turn to emma, a little confused by what brought this on.
she continues unprompted. “he shuts down any time something sensitive might be coming up. he tries to handle everything alone…without ever letting anyone in.”
you know it’s true, based on what you’ve heard from his friends and family, but can’t remember a time when that’s ever been true for you.
“that’s why i like him with you,” she finishes. “you have a way of drawing it out of him. I’ve seen it,” she smiles warmly, directing her attention back away from you and to your lovers who are goofing off some distance away. “you’re good for him.”
you worry about why emma brought this up, nibbling your lower lip away as you watch mikey load up another snowball to throw at draken.
“has he been acting weird, you think?” you finally manage to ask.
emma takes a long sigh, eyes never leaving the boys. her engagement ring sparkles on her finger as she raises a hand to rest on her cheek. “he’s definitely planning something. something you might not like.”
dread settles in the pit of your stomach as your eyes automatically search for mikey’s dark hair. something you might not like? that can’t be too many things. you know mikey well enough to know he’d never do anything to hurt you, or even anything that would piss you off. but something you don’t like? that’d make him feel vulnerable? your guesses are limited.
mikey turns to you and waves with a charismatic smile. you smile and wave back just before draken plows him in the face with another snowball.
you and emma laugh as mikey shakes it off. It’ll be fine. whatever he’s planning, it’ll be fine. you’ll cross that bridge when you get to it.
#sanjiro ♥︎#I’m starting to think the key to writing more is just making everything selfship coded#mikey drabbles#manjiro drabble#manjiro x reader#mikey x reader#manjiro x you#mikey x you#I feel so awkward putting little things in the tags like this#if it isn’t a whole fic I feel like I’m clogging the tags T^T
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zomg... the girls! Sketched out! And a few characters I never showed designs for! haha! I keep thinking about the beach, so this is their swimwear.
I hope to make a full fledged drawing for all of them soon~ then the guys~~
Some newbies are: Aura (blue!) Katya (Gold!) and more of Verra (Green!) We'll eventually see more about them as I draw more things and doodles.
#Because I realized I never drew the girls as much as I did the guys#I used to exclusively draw women until I figured out how to draw men... I then awoke drawing nudethaniel and speedo vincent#so we're reeling it back a little#Ryoko Kui said she draws her oc's outfits in modern times to see how the different characters would dress. I thought about it- it definitel#says a lot about your character!#Monica is REALLY tall. And muscular! with a strong ability! no wonder she's taken down armies! She doesn't care to swim much but will use#a rashguard to swim in.#Sera is copying her style a bit but thankfully owns an actual wetsuit. Feels like home considering how her aerodynamic armor is designed#Sonia is sonia. She seductively asks Vincent to help her put sunscreen on... Only to be met with an albinoid man's journey to sun poisoning#He eventually gets greased in sunscreen and aloe vera after what feels like hours of nagging him. (it was forty five minutes.) Sorry Sonia.#Some things cannot be changed. When he did eventually look at her body he laughed at her ass being out rather than think anything naughty.#Not girl Summer. Vincent did end up helping her with the sunscreen though. “Lmao you can't do this yourself or something?” ruined the magic#Karin tailored her swimwear. She bedazzles her arms with accessories <3 Her nail polish can detect drugs <3 & cyanide caps in her earrings#Poor Katya is a supermodel but is way too thin... Strohl doesn't say it.. But he's worried. She makes way too much money to want to quit.#Verra is in rabbit mode because her summon LOVES to swim and hey who is she to halt its fun?#Aura is pretty modest and prefers to meditate in the water or by the shore away from all of the roughhousing. Nate and Strohl join at time#They kind of freak out when she starts floating though. Or invoking the elementals of the seas. The guys are both areligious. Awkward.#Especially when the waves start to get a little rowdy minutes later. Strohl is torn between considering religion and asking for a tutorial.#ark_systema#A_S textposts#Solely for the tags#Devsneakpeeks
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guys don’t worry dabi will be fine when shigaraki returns somehow with both aspects of overhaul instead of just decay he can use it to heal him and spinner and toga and be the league’s hero also kurogiri is fine
#plot of my fix it fic lol#liza blather#i’m putting a very long tag here to hide the mha leaks spoilers i’m about to talk about hopefully behind a read more so if you’re reading#these tags and you don’t want spoilers stop reading them riiiiiight now#i need to do a little more perusing but it’s been a busy morning#but like. is it weird that i’m sitting here like ‘eh he’s fine’#like it just feels like this is a really weird ending for his character from a story standpoint but also from a pacing standpoint#like the whole thing just read as somewhat awkward to me#idk maybe im in denial but im like dabi you drama queen get up you’re fine#also the queue’s empty oops
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Wait I think I missed something in this incredible saga. Are you going on a date with the coworker??? I swear the last thing I saw was “no I would never” lmaoooo. If so, I (like the rest of snzblr) are anxious for updates about your love life. You’re one of the top snzblr couples now, enjoy 🤙
I did say I would never and I was a fucking liar apparently 😔 it's not technically a date tho bc I never told him it was bc I need to be so casual and mysterious ahdkaksk but it's a date To Me lmao. It's tomorrow tho bc we're still at work rn and it doesn't look like we're leaving anytime soon so at least I have that to look forward to I guess lmao
#not snz#we're not a couple tho nooooo 😭😭 lmaooo#it's just me being delusional#like he's literally not into me i stg i think y'all are gonna be more disappointed about the outcome than me#OH but he did hug me tho so I'm riding that high rn actually ahskamsk#lowkey have just been leaning against him half the shift but we've been watching videos and stuff together bc it's been slow so#that means nothing probably#also he looks at me like 😒 every time i ask one if my stupid little debate questions ahsakslsl#today was if ceral is a soup and if ketchup is a smoothie#please know that i ask these randomly literally out of nowhere like it's a normal thing to bring up lmaoooo#i have negative flirting skills ahdkaksk#this is the opposite of pulling a bad bitch by being autistic this is making the coworker question why he puts up with me lmaoooo#but he's the one who said yes to dinner so 😌#you know what he's never seen me in a cute little outfit before actually 👀#it's always been either the work uniform or hiking clothes#which to be fair my hiking clothes are kinda cute but they're hiking clothes nonetheless#like he saw me in normal clothes a bit ago but i was actively dying so they were just the most comfortable clothes i could find#so like maybe i can wear a skirt i have cute skirts i like wearing out with my bestie#and they're like. very specific kinds of skirts so maybe that'll tell him something ahskasmks#help why am i thinking so hard about this ahdkalslal#like it's literally actually not even a date it's just me flipping out for no reason while this guy is clueless 😭#like I'm telling y'all he's not into me and i don't understand why I'm being like this about it lmaoo#I'm always like 'fuck i wish my coworkers wouldn't crush on me to the point of asking me out that's awkward i don't date coworkers'#AND THEN I TURNED AROUND AND DID IT MYSELF#why am i like this#why am i so 👀 when he's one of the few people i shouldn't be 👀 at#i swear i should give it a couple months bc maybe I'm just feeling some type of way about him bc i was sick#but noooo i just HAVE to be insane about it now 😭#i should really have a tag for me being a pathetic wreck but idk what it would even be lmao#partner posting
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I think every social media website should have an effective tagging system, just my thoughts
#clemramble#i want to post some more of my art on twt but i also want to tag it effectively but idk how the tagging system works on there#since hashtags seem to do very little on there#if theres one thing tumblr has done right its the tagging system . this is awesome i love putting things in tags like its me whispering#directly into your ear extra info that you really didnt need to know#and also the ability to mute hashtags is awesome. even if it doesnt completely hide it#twt is so weird in its hidden words. i have so much stuff blocked on there but the moment it gets popular the system just#doesnt work and im stuck seeing it all again. very annoying.#anyways yeah this is also a call if any one knows how the muting system on twt works and how i should best tag my stuff.please share#your wisdom. if you dont mind. i asked on twt but my regular posts kind of flop if its not art. not that i mind but the point remains#..i had thought about making another account just dedicated to like ship stuff on twt bc i have enough stuff to do that but#would it be unnecessary? idk . ignore this part sorry im rambling outloud to myself virtually through tags#i might just end up not posting it there. its like a little tumblr exclusive#im not even scared anymore ive bossed up. twt just makes me feel awkward now. its like when you enter a giant classroom and theres no empty#seats so youre forced to go up and down the isles trying to find a spot that open
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In light of recent events, here are some mantras I think everyone should keep close to their chests.
1) Horrible people are capable of making amazing art.
Morality has no marker on experience and skill level. Only what they produce can, in theory, reveal their inner beliefs.
2) Do not put famous people or anyone on a pedestal.
You can be inspired and touched by what they create. There's no need to raise them to a hero or god like status in your mind. They will be awkward, annoying, and so very human it may lead you to disappointment and sadness when they don't meet the image you made of them in your head.
3) "Separate the art from the artist" rhetoric only works if the artist is dead or can no longer profit from the IP.
Every dollar you give to a franchise with a living bigoted artist is supporting their life style. They still receive that money even if you don't vocally support their beliefs. Please remain aware of where you put your wallet since financial support is still support. Pirate if you're desperate, but do not pretend buying merchandise directly from the store is harmless.
4) Respecting victims should be your priority.
You were not the ones hurt the most by events which occured. Conversation around this topic needs to be tagged appropriately and spoken of with sympathy.
As many people want to claim "they knew there was something fishy about X", it's not about lounging in your self perceived righteousness for not being into the thing. You are neither unique nor special for not getting into a media where the creator was revealed to be harmful. You were just as ignorant as the rest of us, and your bad feeling being validated is about as significant as claiming to sense ghosts in a house full of black mold.
In addition to this, fans of the media should not be taking this time to victimize themselves. Learning information like this so suddenly means we are aware you didn't know. There will not be your imaginary mob coming into your inbox to send you death threats or dox you for having made fan content. Stop acting like self flagellation or taking up arms is the next logical step to defend your interest.
5) You are allowed to be angry and hurt.
It's easy for me to say don't make people your heroes, but I know this isn't a mindset many people adhere too. Especially not people who are looking for footholds to build their skills and find inspiration and connection in the art someone of their similar passion creates. You can sit in your frustration and despair for a little while. Give yourself time to fully process what has occured, and then choose your next course of action. The internet has taught many people to react immediately to everything, but this is not nor has ever been required of you.
✌🏾
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too close to home

pairing: none (platonic ot8 & female reader)
summary: as the only female of stray kids, you've always felt a little out of place. this comeback, the comments and criticism seem to hit a little too close to home and you start to think that maybe the group is better off without you.
word count: 8.5k
tags/warnings: 9th member au, hurt/comfort, angst, mean fans, anxious thinking, insecurities, overthinking
a/n: this is my first fic for my appreciation event! big thank you to everyone who has supported me and sorry this took so long to post.
special shoutout to @kangaracha who is basically the only reason i was able to finish this fic! she was my biggest cheerleader throughout my writing and if you would like to read an amazing 9th member fic, please please go read queenmaker.
where the heart is collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

You had known from the start that it would be difficult being in a co-ed group. It was rare, especially in K-pop. But being outnumbered eight to one? It was unheard of.
You had been just as surprised all those years ago, when the company had pulled you into a room and offered you a position in the boy group that they were about to debut.
You had heard about the team that Chan had put together, every trainee had gossiped about how JYPE was trying something new with a self-formed team. You hadn't paid too much attention to it, you were busy enough with preparing for your own evaluations and the possibility of being included in what everybody had thought was a boys group hadn't even crossed your mind.
You had accepted the position almost immediately.
At that point, you had been a trainee for almost three years, but had only been considered for debut less than a handful of times. You knew with each line-up that hadn't worked out, you were closer to being forced to give up on the idea of becoming an idol. If you rejected the offer this time, you might not get another and you had been ready to do anything to achieve your dream.
Plus, you knew there was a high chance that they'd drop you from the group anyway. The position brought a lot of interest to the group, but you knew the company would be watching closely to determine whether it was worth the risk or not.
It had been a bit of a rocky start, but now the nine of you were close, you had to be when you spent most of your waking time together. You considered the boys to be your second family and you knew that they felt the same way.
It was just that there was clearly a difference in the dynamic when you were and weren’t with the group. It wasn’t necessarily bad just… different. The boys never excluded you or made you feel like you weren’t part of the group and you had great individual relationships with each of the members.
It was inevitable though, you had never shared a dorm with the group, especially earlier in your career when you were less familiar and it would have been entirely unacceptable. You knew that this was the main reason you didn’t feel quite as part of the group, there was just a level of closeness that was formed when you actually lived with someone.
Well, it was that and the nagging guilt because you knew that Chan had hand-picked every member of Stray Kids himself.
Every member except you.
While the members had promised that they were the ones who had the final say, you knew it wasn't quite what they had expected. All of you had been desperate to debut though and even if it wasn't ideal, nobody was going to say anything that might jeopardize this chance.
Still, you could tell that the boys did their best to include you and for the most part, they succeeded. Even early on when things had been a little bit awkward between you, they were fiercely protective. In interviews, they insisted over and over that they wanted you in the group and it had been nice to hear, even if you knew they were just saying it for the cameras.
They frequently invited you over for dinner or just to hang out, but you couldn't help feeling jealous when it was time for you to leave at the end of each night. It wasn't anything you could change though, so you just tried to appreciate their company while you had it.
So when the company brings up the idea of new dorm arrangements, you're surprised and a bit confused when they don't immediately inform you of where you'll be staying and kick you out of the meeting room. You've never participated in the discussions that the boys have regarding roommates, there has never been any reason to.
You're shocked by how easily things fall into place, even more so when Chan approaches you, asking if you'd feel comfortable living with him and Jeongin. They assure you that any of the pairings would be happy to have you stay with them though, and that they'd also understand if you preferred to live on your own.
You were hesitant at first. It had been out of the question when you had first debuted. Even if you and the boys had been comfortable with it, which you weren’t, the company would have totally rejected the idea of one girl living with eight boys.
Instead, their solution had been to force you to remain in the trainee dorm even after your debut which meant constantly listening to jealous girls criticize anything and everything about you. It had been exhausting, partly because you were getting used to balancing schedules with practice, but also because you couldn’t find it in yourself to be mad at them. You were all too familiar with the disappointment and frustration that came with watching the people around you succeeding.
You had briefly considered asking about sharing with the boys when the dorms had split in half because you knew you needed to get out of the toxic environment the other girls were creating, but then the company had offered you an apartment to yourself. It had been one of the easiest decisions you had ever made.
It had been too good to be true, though. The apartment had given you the privacy that you had craved, there were a multitude of issues that almost made you miss being in the trainee dorms. Whether you moved to a new apartment on your own or into one of the dorms with the boys, you knew that it would be an improvement.
You’re curious what living with the boys would be like and honestly, you’re a bit lonely in your current apartment. It only takes a day or two of thinking before you confirm that you’d like to join them.
The moving process is quick too, at least for you. The boys offered to help you move, but you adamantly refused. Your place had been so tiny that you didn't have the space to store many things and you didn't like shopping that much anyway so all of your clothes fit into the couple of large suitcases that you kept under your bed. Since most of the furniture had come with the room, you were able to bring everything over to the new dorm before the boys had even finished packing.
It's hard to settle in at first. You don't have any siblings and have never had to live with boys so it takes some getting used to. Luckily both Chan and Jeongin are quite careful about being respectful of your space.
It's also a relief that you get to divide up some of the housework that you used to have to do all on your own. Even though it's not too much, it's nice to have more time in your day for other things and the three of you have developed a system that works well and feels natural.
Chan is meticulously clean and although you don't think you're that messy, you’re more careful to keep things in the right place. The worst part is that you know Chan won't complain or nag you if you leave your things around, he just quietly cleans up your messes which makes you feel both touched and a bit guilty.
You have no regrets about moving in with them, especially when you start to get more busy. It's nice to be living with people who have the same or similar schedules to you so you don't have to worry about losing track of time and being late to things.
Not only that, but you feel like you have more support. Jeongin reminds you to eat regular meals and Chan checks in when he notices that you're up later than usual. The three of you chat more than you did before and now have a number of different inside jokes.
You're especially grateful because you can already sense that this comeback is going to be hard on you. It's not the songs that have you concerned, all the recording finished smoothly and you're more than happy with how your parts turned out. You also really like the concept that's being proposed for the cover art and all the music videos.
It's the dance that's the problem.
As a trainee, you had always excelled in dancing and had actually had been assigned the role of main dancer in some of the girl groups that you were considered for. It made it especially hard to come to terms with the fact that when you had joined Stray Kids, you weren't even included in the dance line. You knew that your singing was nice and your voice added diversity to the group, but it had never been what you were most confident in and you felt inadequate compared to Seungmin and Jeongin.
But when it comes to this title track, it's especially obvious why you're not considered as one of the lead dancers. By lunchtime, everyone has memorized the moves, you included, but the choreography is definitely more suited for male dancers. No matter how much you focus on trying to match the style of everyone else, you're sticking out like a sore thumb.
Most of the members take a short break for lunch, but you're determined to keep practicing and Minho is willing to coach you through the parts that you're struggling with the most. On a technical level, you're hitting most of the moves, but you still haven't been able to do a runthrough that doesn't elicit at least a few corrections. You can tell that Minho is running out of patience and you're even more frustrated than he is.
Luckily the rest of practice is working on the different formations and angles for filming the music video, dance practice, and future performances. The details are less important and everyone is mainly focused on not crashing into each other.
You try to sneak in as many solo practice sessions as you can, but by the time filming for the dance practice rolls around, you’re still not feeling confident. In fact, you’ve been dreading the schedule for days and you feel a little queasy every time you think about it. It's far from your first dance practice filming, but something about this one just feels more daunting.
The morning of filming, you force yourself to eat a decent breakfast, knowing that skipping it would just make dancing more difficult for yourself. Chan had woken up early to prepare a simple meal while you and Jeongin had helped set the table and clean up afterwards. You're a bit more jittery than usual and you're pretty sure both of the boys have noticed, but they don't comment which you appreciate.
Everyone goes through hair and makeup fairly quickly, there's no elaborate outfits and crazy makeup for a more casual video like this. Your bad feeling for today just worsens when you see that while the rest of the boys are in their usual loose fitting sweats and shirts, you've been given a tight fitting outfit that reveals a bit more of your midriff than you usually like to show off. Even though you can't deny that it's a flattering look, it just makes you self conscious, feeling like you stood out even more than you usually did standing beside the guys.
Determined to power through filming, you warm up as quickly as you can so that you can spend as much time as possible reviewing the moves with the rest of the boys before the crew finishes setting up.
Your stomach is a flurry of butterflies as you get in position to start filming, even though you know that usually the first try is a throwaway. Not only is this the first time filming for the day, but the group hasn't actually done a performance of your new single, only practices.
You monitor the recording carefully. There's a few things to improve with the camera angles and position, that was to be expected, but you still have the nagging feeling that something about your dancing doesn't match the rest of the group.
You try to make your movements bigger in the next run through, while still looking natural and staying in time with the music. It's not quite right though and each time you try again, there's more and more things that you're unhappy with.
You can tell the rest of the group isn't pleased with how things are going either. You've been doing this long enough that these dance practices usually only take a couple hours to record, but now it's been at least three and none of the takes have even been considered as a keeper. A few times you haven't even been able to make it to the end of the song before someone messes up.
Your choreographer is in the back of the room and although he hasn't explicitly called you out, you can feel his gaze on you the longer this takes.
“Come on guys,” Minho complains after a short break. “Focus! Let's get it done this time.” You watch as his eyes flicker towards where you're standing for the faintest of moments as he says it. It feels like a blow to the stomach.
You hate disappointing people, you're only human after all, but something feels even worse when you know it's the other members that you're letting down. Especially when it comes to dance, because you've always wanted to impress Minho and his notoriously high standards. The guilt sits heavy in your stomach as you push through your growing fatigue and take your position in front of the camera again.
As soon as both the director and choreographer announce that you're finished for the day, almost everybody collapses on the spot. One-takes are always the most exhausting and everybody has to focus on keeping their movements sharp because it's extremely obvious when you aren't in sync.
You, on the other hand, make your way to the screens where they're showing the playback. Sweat is dripping from your neck and forehead and you absent-mindedly swipe it away as you watch. Someone drapes a small towel over your head and you look over to see that Minho and Hyunjin have crowded behind you to take a look.
“It's good,” one of the managers comments.
Instead of agreeing, Minho hums noncommittally. You feel yourself tense up.
“What?” the manager asks. “Don't tell me you want to do it again.”
“No, no, it's fine.” Minho says mildly.
“We can do another take,” the director offers. From behind him, one of the camera people groans quietly. You try not to wince at the sound and only partially succeed.
“I think this is the best we're going to get,” Minho replies, before he turns and walks back to where his things are, effectively ending the discussion.
“Sorry for making everyone stay late,” you say quietly, bowing quickly before trailing after Minho. Hyunjin eyes you weirdly as he keeps pace.
“Why'd you say that?” he asks as he packs his bag.
“I felt bad that they had to stay so long,” you say, confused. “We normally tell them that if filming goes over.”
“No.” Hyunjin pauses his movement to study you. You can't help but shrink away, feeling a bit like a bug under a microscope “We normally thank them for their hard work. You made it sound like it was your fault.”
“It's just been a long morning,” you deflect. “Are you heading back to the dorms now?”
“Yeah.” He runs a hand through his wet hair, flicking sweat everywhere. “Have to shower and I have a bit of time before my vocal lesson. Want to head back together?”
“You go ahead first,” you reassure him. “I have a couple things left to do at the company so I'll stick around for a bit longer.”
“Sure. If you're finished early, feel free to drop by. We can have dinner or something together,” Hyunjin offers.
“Sounds good! I don't know if I'll have time, but I'll definitely see I can join,” you promise.
Lying always leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but you know there's no way you're going to sacrifice time that you could be using to improve the dance just to hang out.
You stay late in the studio that night. Your only other schedule for the day is fittings for the music video and all the music shows, which finishes pretty quickly. Since you don't have much of an appetite anyway, you choose to skip Hyunjin’s dinner offer to continue practicing more. You had asked one of the managers to send you a copy of the dance practice and each time you replay it, the pit in your stomach seems to grow.
You lose track of time, picking apart each and every move to try and figure out what you're doing wrong. It's not until Minho knocks on the door and enters, startling you in the middle of yet another runthrough, that you realise how long you've been practicing.
“You still have so much energy?” Minho calls out as he walks closer to you.
“Just had a few things I wanted to fix up before I went home,” you explain in between breaths.
“And?”
“And what?” you ask.
“Did you fix them?” he replies, raising an eyebrow as he scans your sweaty form and the empty room. “Have you been practicing this whole time? You've been here so long that even Channie-hyung went home. He asked me if you were at our place.”
“What? I-”
“It's almost 2am,” he says gently. “It's time to go home.”
“Can I do one more run through?” you ask sheepishly. “Actually, it’s good that you’re here, I just want to make sure-”
“You've been practicing long enough.” Minho's voice turns stern and he grabs your hand to lead you to the couch to sit. “Did you even eat?”
“I wasn't hungry,” you say quietly.
“Y/n-ah,” Minho scolds you. “You need to fuel your body if you're going to work it so hard, you know we've talked about this.”
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to practice more,” you say, staring down at your hands. You’re not allowed to pick at your nails since you just got them done, so you settle for fidgeting with one of the rings that you’re wearing. The sharp edges of the gemstones prick at your fingers but you can’t get yourself to stop. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just couldn’t get the dance right today. We had to film it so many times.”
“What are you talking about, Y/n-ah?” Minho asks, bewildered. “We weren’t- you weren’t the reason we had to redo the dance so many times.”
You look up at him finally and don’t see any of the annoyance that you were expecting. The concern and genuine confusion that you find instead catches you off guard.
“What? But- On our fourth take during the second chorus, my legwork was so sloppy compared-”
“Hannie literally forgot which direction we were supposed to move and he almost knocked into me,” Minho interrupts. “There was no way we were going to be able to use the footage, that’s why we stopped early.”
“Oh, I didn’t notice.”
Minho taps a finger to his lips, deep in thought.
“Fifth take, well that was my fault, so we're not going to talk about that. Sixth try, Yongbokkie and Innie both missed a cue and crouched later than everybody else, that one made me want to pull out my hair.” He shakes his head.
“That’s when we took a break,” you realise.
“Yeah, we were hoping it would help us have a clean run. Jinnie had sweated through his makeup and needed touch-ups anyway.”
“I thought you guys were annoyed at me,” you say in a small voice. “You didn't seem happy with the final video.”
“It wasn't my best take,” Minho admits. “I kind of wanted to do it again, but I didn't want you guys to have to stay even later.”
“Did you even see yourself?” You reach for your phone and unlock it to show the paused dance practice video. “Look, I've been trying to copy how fluid you moved in this part. See there? I looked so stiff compared to you, it's awful.”
“Y/n-ah,” Minho says carefully.
“And look at this move,” you say, skipping ahead a couple seconds. “I couldn't quite-”
You cut yourself off mid-sentence when Minho leans forward to pluck your phone our of your hands and throw it off to the side. You don't even fight him, just stare with wide eyes, scared of what he's going to say next.
“You were fine, you did well. But even if you did mess up, it's okay. This dance is tiring, it's challenging. We all have bad days and it's okay to make mistakes.”
When you don’t say anything in response, he slowly moves closer and envelops you in a tight hug. You sniffle a little bit and when he starts to rub slow but firm circles onto your back, you can't stop the few tears that escape.
“Hey, what's going through your mind, huh?” he asks in a low voice. “Why are you being so hard on yourself?”
“I just don't want to let you guys down,” you say.
“Y/n-ah, you're not letting us down if we have to do a few more takes on a dance practice,” Minho says incredulously. “Is that all that's been worrying you?”
“Yeah,” you lie. “I was just nervous about filming the dance and disappointed when it didn't go like I wanted it to.”
“Silly girl,” Minho says, ruffling your hair affectionately. “You're doing just fine. It's okay to be nervous, but you don't have to be pushing yourself so hard. Come on, it's time to go home, we have an early schedule tomorrow.”
You follow him meekly as he leads you out of the building and to where a driver is waiting to take you back to your dorm. Even though you feel a bit better knowing that you weren't the cause of the schedule overruns, you're still not satisfied with how you're dancing, but you know that it's pointless to pick a fight. Not only is Minho just as stubborn as you, he's not afraid to bring in reinforcements and you'd hate for the rest of the group to catch on to how you've been spending most of your free time. They already have enough to worry about, the last thing you want is to add to that.
Moving forward, you don't stop practicing, but you do take more care to try and pretend that it's not eating up all your free time. You stop using your favourite studio, you know the dance so well that most of the time you don't even have music playing, and you make sure not to stay out late enough that it's noticeable.
You start to feel a little silly with how much time you've devoted to this, significantly more than the rest of the members, especially when the music video filming goes by without a hitch. By the time the Studio Choom video is filmed, you're a lot more confident about the performance and even starting to enjoy yourself.
The rest of the preparations for the comeback start to fly by, especially after the album announcement goes live. There's not a day that goes by that's not filled with different photoshoots or interviews.
Before you know it, the album is released and even though your schedule is absolutely packed, you spend all your free time reading through comments and reactions. Maybe it was cliche to say, but you really did treasure hearing from Stays and comebacks were always when you felt closest to them. You especially liked being able to interact with them on a more personal level.
You were almost certain that you were the most active member on Bubble, you liked to send daily updates on what you were doing and reminders to Stay about maintaining their health. It did sting that you were also pretty certain that you had the least subscriptions and likely some of them only stuck around because you thought it was funny to send candid photos of the boys every so often.
You had always looked forward to fan signs the most though. Before you had debuted, you had loved seeing footage of the cute accessories, silly pick-up lines, and heartfelt messages from the fans. Not only that, but it was the only chance to speak to fans in person, even if it was only for a minute or two.
You were immensely grateful for everyone that supported you, but maybe it was your eager anticipation for fan signs that left you feeling so disappointed and empty. You had slowly grown used to Stays ignoring you for the boys, for always being the one that didn't receive any gifts to play with, for having the smallest stack of letters at the end of each event. But somehow you were always hopeful that the next time would be different.
Of course, it wasn't like you resented everybody else in the group. In fact, you were genuinely glad that they were enjoying themselves because they deserved it. They worked hard, were amazing performers and talented at creating music, and as a result, the fans loved them.
You, on the other hand, were just missing something, and it seemed that nothing you could do would change that. You had bounced through different positions, focused on vocals, dance, rap, music production, writing lyrics, and had enjoyed yourself thoroughly the whole time. If only the fans had liked it as much as you.
At least with fan calls, it wasn't as blatantly obvious that you were the least popular, least favourite member of the group. In fact, sometimes you were glad because you knew the boys often had crazy fans who had absurd or cringy requests while most of the time you spoke with someone who was politely feigning their interest.
It's almost funnier when the company sits you all down in the same room for the calls like they do today because you get to witness and subsequently tease the boys for the aegyo and silly poses they're forced to do. It's not like any of you can refuse anything the fans ask you to do, not with the staff breathing down your neck the whole time.
As expected, most of your calls are fairly generic and you're grateful for it. You have easy conversations about the album, which dances are your favourite, and you get to share some stories from the tour that you recently finished. You're maybe halfway through the calls when things start to take a turn for the worst.
“I even think that you would have done great as a solo artist! Are you thinking of releasing any solo music soon?” the girl that you're talking to asks excitedly.
“Oh, thank you.” You smile back even though the innocent question makes your chest ache for some reason. “I- well, solo music-” You take a deep breath to gather your thoughts. “I don't know about the future, but right now I really can't imagine releasing anything other than music as a part of Stray Kids. I love working and performing with the rest of the members and I wouldn't want to change anything.”
It's how you actually feel, but you can't help the way that your eyes dart over to check on the staff member that's supervising your call. You feel a bit better when you see their nod of approval and try to focus on the fan to finish the rest of the conversation.
Thankfully you get a quick break before the next call. You know the fan was probably trying to be encouraging, she had started off the call praising your skills and was probably just curious. Still, there's a voice in your mind that tells you that she'd prefer it if you weren't a member of Stray Kids. Or rather, she'd prefer that Stray Kids didn't have you in it.
You try to bring a positive mindset into your next call, but it's with a Stay that’s decidedly less interested in talking to you. You exchange greetings and make small talk until she seems to get an idea that makes her sit up straight all of a sudden.
“I have a question for you,” she says, eyes glinting in a way that makes you a little nervous, even though you're not sure why.
“Go ahead,” you encourage her because you're mostly feeling a bit relieved that she's finally showing some emotion other than boredom.
“Which of the boys would you say is best in bed?” she asks slyly.
You stare at her dumbly, thinking that you must have misheard her.
“Sorry,” you say, laughing uncomfortably. “I don't- I don't think I understand your question.”
“You heard me,” she scoffs. “What's the point in having you in the group if you're not sleeping with at least some, if not all of them?”
“No, I- It's not like that, I don't-” Flustered, you stare desperately at the staff, hoping they'll step in and end the call. Instead they just motion for you to continue. “I mean, we're close, but not-”
“If you want, you can just tell me your favourites,” she giggles, as if she's just asked you what songs on the album you liked. “It must be either Chan or Jeongin, if you decided to live with them.”
“No!” you exclaim.
“So it's not either of them?” she says, tapping a finger against her lip in thought.
“That's not the kind of relationship we have.”
Mortified, you find that you're tearing up a bit. You've heard the theories before, know that there's a lot of gossip and rumours because you're in a group of men, but you've never been outright accused to your face like this.
From the corner of your blurry field of vision, you see Seungmin wave bye to whoever he's talking to. He must hear the distress in your voice because he glances over, then does a double-take when he sees just how bad you're doing.
“What's going on?” he demands, stalking over. Before the staff can do anything to stop him, he leans forward and disconnects the call without a warning. “Why didn't you do anything, isn't it obvious that something’s wrong?”
“Y/n-ssi was handling it,” the staff member says. “It’s not fair to the fans if you cut a call short without reason.”
“No reason? Do you have eyes?!” Seungmin motions to where you're surreptitiously trying to blot away the tears without smudging your makeup. He's gotten the attention of everyone in the room now, even the members who are still in calls and have to pretend nothing is happening in the background. You can only hope that the phones aren't able to pick up anything being said.
“Min,” you say, voice barely above a whisper as you tug on his sleeve lightly. He glances back at you, eyes softening slightly. “It's okay, I'm fine.”
You're grateful that he's stood up for you, but all the scrutiny is getting a bit overwhelming. You just want to move on and pretend nothing happened because the last thing that you want is for the company to think you're a liability who can't even handle a nosy fan.
Seungmin crouches in front of you and studies you carefully. You're still clutching onto the sleeve of his sweater. You take a deep breath to compose yourself, then give him a watery smile.
“I was just being really sensitive today, I promise,” you plead. “Just let it go.”
He starts to say something, then cuts himself off, eyes watching something happening over your shoulder.
“Let's just take a quick break from the calls,” Chan says evenly. You didn't even notice that he came up being you and is standing behind you protectively. “We'll be back in 10 minutes.”
It's a command, not a suggestion, something that the staff would normally push back against, but for some reason they stay quiet, allowing the nine of you to filter out of the room unimpeded.
Nobody says anything until you find an unoccupied dance studio. Minho is quick to lock the door after you all pile in.
“Hey,” Seungmin says softly from where he's been stuck to your side. “You holding up okay?”
“Yeah, I don't know what happened. I'm fine now,” you say.
“Are you sure?” Felix asks from where he's sitting on your other side.
“Really, it was nothing,” you assure him.
“If you were upset, then it's something,” Seungmin insists. “We promise we won't think it's silly or anything. It's probably something we've all heard before anyway.”
You have to turn away from the way that he's looking at you with his huge, pleading eyes. But the rest of the group is also gathered around, concern lining their faces.
“She implied that the only reason I'm in the group is because I'm sleeping with all you,” you say stiffly, regretting it immediately when you feel both Seungmin and Felix freeze in place. “Which obviously is not true, so it's not a big deal.”
“Y/n, you know that's unacceptable, right?” Chan says slowly, through what sounds like gritted teeth. You finally tear your eyes away from where you've been staring at the patterns that you can see in the grain of the wooden flooring, to see that his jaw is clenched, neck muscles pulled tight.
“Fans say inappropriate things all the time, it's not like I haven't read things like that before. It comes with the job.” You shrug.
“That doesn't make it okay. This is serious. You shouldn't have to-” Chan cuts himself off when he notices that he's started to raise his voice and just pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Listen, I know. I just- I don't want this to be a big commotion. It sucks, I didn't respond well, whatever, let's move on,” you say. “She's going to post about it online, but in a few days, nobody is going to remember anyway.”
“Hyung, can't we just end the call if they do anything inappropriate?” Changbin complains.
“You know that we can't,” you remind him before anybody else can say anything. “It's part of our contract.”
“I hate these stupid fan calls!” Hyunjin passionately declares from where he's sprawled out on the floor. “Channie-hyung, can we just cancel the rest of them?”
“Don't say that,” you scold him mildly. “You love fan calls the most out of all of us.”
“I love some of them,” he argues back. “But not if that's the way you're going to be treated during them. Plus, if another person asks me to call them mommy then I'm actually going to quit being an idol.”
“Ew, your fans are weird.” Jisung wrinkles his nose in disgust.
“They're your fans too!” Hyunjin shoots back.
“Okay,” Chan claps his hands together a couple times before things devolve further. “Unfortunately, we do have to continue with the rest of the calls and we can't delay things too much. It's time to head back.”
There's a bit of casual chatter as everybody heads back, but you can tell everyone is still feeling a bit tense. Seungmin only releases your hand when he absolutely has to and you squeeze a couple times before you let go to try and reassure him that you're going to be fine.
The second you sit down, a makeup artist descends on you, tutting her tongue when she sees that you've accidentally wiped away some of your eyeshadow. You obediently stay still, watching as Chan approaches your table too, stopping to lean down and say something in the ear of the staff member that has been monitoring you. The blood slowly drains from her face and she nods rapidly in agreement with whatever he tells her. He claps a hand on her shoulder and even though it's a light and friendly gesture, you can see the way she flinches slightly.
You raise an eyebrow when he looks your way and he just smiles innocently in return and makes his way back to his seat. You don't comment, not even when you notice that the staff's fingers are trembling so hard that it takes her a couple tries to connect you to the next call. You know that it's not her fault, she's just following instructions from the company after all, but you're not feeling very sympathetic at the moment.
Instead, you just try to focus and take on an upbeat persona in the hopes that nobody realises how upset you truly feel. You're hurt and a bit wary of what the fans might do next, but you don't want to take it out on the people who haven’t done anything to you yet.
Fortunately, the rest of the calls are rather uneventful and you leave the company feeling drained, but not as terrible as you had expected.
You spend the rest of the day thinking about what you could have done differently, how you could have handled the call more gracefully, what kind of answer you should give if something similar ever happens again. But no matter what, you just get stuck pitifully thinking to yourself that it's not fair, you shouldn't have to deal with these kinds of questions in the first case. You're sure the company will give you a briefing and some scripted lines tomorrow anyway, so it's probably for the best that you just try to pretend nothing happened at all.
That evening, you try your best to avoid social media, but you knew that some of the other boys had seen videos based on the stormy expression on Jeongin's usually smiley face when you got home and the way that Chan comes back from the gym with more bruises than usual from his boxing session with Minho and Changbin.
They never say anything, but they have been extra careful around you. Chan has brought home your favourite takeout without you asking and Jeongin jumps up to clean up the second that everyone has finished eating. After you decline to watch a drama with them, you can hear one of them pacing past your bedroom every few minutes, pausing right outside your door before continuing on.
You have just decided to muster up the courage to actually watch the recording of the video, it was embarrassingly easy to find one, when Seungmin video calls you. You immediately click away from where your own stupid looking shocked face is paused on screen to answer because you know Seungmin knows that you prefer to text unless it's an emergency.
“Hey,” you greet him warily. “What's up?”
“Felix is trying to kill me,” Seungmin complains.
“What now?”
“Just look!”
Seungmin changes to his back camera to reveal their kitchen, which is littered with baking supplies and seems almost hazy for some reason.
“Is that smoke?” you ask, sitting up in bed.
“I said not to film!” Felix's voice comes from somewhere outside of the frame. Seungmin pans over dizzyingly fast to show where he's crouched in front of the oven, streaks of flour smudged on his clothes and in his hair.
“I'm not filming,” Seungmin comments, unbothered by the fact that Felix is pulling out a pan of what looks like they should be cookies but look alarmingly similar to lumps of coal. “I'm on a call. Show Y/nnie what you made,” he prompts.
“What?? Noooo,” Felix whines. “Y/n don't look!”
“What are those supposed to be?” you laugh.
“I wanted to make something to cheer you up,” Felix says miserably. Seungmin cackles, moving the camera closer so that you first get a close-up of Felix's face, then a better look at the burnt baking sheet. You keel over, stomach starting to hurt from how hard you're laughing. “I was trying to clean up while they baked and didn't hear the timer go off.”
“Well I appreciate the thought,” you say, when you can finally catch a breath. “And you definitely succeeded in making me feel better. Didn't the fire alarm go off?”
“We just got it to stop,” Seungmin says, switching the camera so that you can see his face again. “It's freezing in here now, we had to open all the windows to air out the place.”
“You poor things,” you coo, leaning back onto your bed now that you aren't concerned that they're in immediate danger. “Do you want to come over to our place?”
“I want to, but someone has to make sure that sunshine over here doesn't burn anything else.” Seungmin rolls his eyes, making you laugh again. You hear Felix yell something in the background. “I just wanted a witness in case I don't make it to our schedule tomorrow. I think I gotta go.”
“Yeah, I think you'll be busy cleaning up the rest of the night. See you tomorrow!”
You end the call, plunging your room back into darkness. You lie on your bed for a few moments before unlocking your phone again.
Even though you knew that it wasn't wise, like clockwork you found yourself scrolling through social media after every comeback. It used to be worse, when you had been living alone and would spend countless hours curled up on your tiny bed, face only illuminated by your phone.
The rest of the members all know that you had private social media accounts, they all had them too even though you technically weren't allowed to. What they didn't know was how many nights you had wasted away, watching funny compilations, reaction videos, and analysis of performances. Sometimes, it even felt like you were subconsciously searching for the negative comments, wanting to understand better the mindset of the haters.
It was an old, but bad habit, so you had tried your best to stop once you moved in with Chan and Jeongin. But tonight you just couldn't sleep. After wandering into the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water, you end up getting distracted by your Youtube recommendations.
You don't know what kind of strings the company pulled, but by some miracle, there's no clips of your disastrous fan call circulating any more, although there were still a lot of people talking about it.
There had been mixed comments. Some of the clips had excluded the terrible questions and people commented on how bad your media training must have been, but a majority of people were furious on your behalf and complained about how out of bounds the comment had been.
You should be relieved that the videos have been taken down and you are to a certain extent, but just a couple days ago the dance practice that haunted you had been posted. Just one more thing to worry about. As you feared, while a majority of the comments were nice, there's already people picking apart your performance, comparing you to the boys.
You click from one comment to another, then move onto fan made videos, inevitably falling down a rabbit hole of the many edits that exist where you had been cropped out or digitally removed. It was almost mesmerizing, watching videos of how well the group worked without you, how natural it looked to see what it would have looked like if it was just the eight of them. Some nights, you could almost forget that the edits were exactly that, edits and not the reality.
“Hey,” Chan interrupts. He is obviously trying his best not to scare you, but you were startled anyway, dropping your phone on the counter. “What are you up to so late?”
“It's nothing,” you said quickly, fumbling to lock your phone so that he can’t see the video that’s playing, but Chan had scooped it up before you had the chance to pick it back up.
“What's this-” You could see the moment that he pieced things together, the way that even in the dim lighting you could tell how his brow had furrowed and his hand had tightened around your phone. “How come you're not in these videos?”
“Hm?”
“You were definitely in this performance,” Chan says, studying the paused screen. “You're supposed to be… They removed you.” He finally realises with horror. “Why are you watching garbage like this?”
“I just want to know what Stay are thinking.” You shrug. “I saw this video and couldn't help but watch. It’s not a big deal, I was just curious.”
“They're not Stay if they're not supporting the whole group!” Chan startles you with the sharpness of his voice. He catches sight of your wide eyes and softens his tone. “Sorry, I just hate akgaes and seeing these kind of posts.”
“Oh come on,” you say. “You're telling me that you've never thought about what the group would be like if you weren't being dragged down by me?”
“Dragged down- Y/n-”
“Don't lie to me, oppa. I know you've seen what people are saying about the group, about me. Have you seen some of these edits? Stray Kids looks good as eight,” you admit.
“I’m not lying! None of us would want to be making music or performing without you,” Chan insists.
“You don't have to say that just to not make me feel bad.” You shake your head.
“We’ve been together from the start, why would I have chosen you to be a part of Stray Kids if I didn't actually want you to be on the team?” Chan asks, sounding frustrated, but also genuinely curious.
“Because the company added me to the team at the last minute?” you say, as if it's obvious. Because to you, and basically everybody else, it is. “I know I wasn't part of the group that you picked. It's okay-”
“What are you talking about? You know that I chose you too, right?” he asks slowly.
“But the company-”
“They couldn’t have just added you to the group without our say.”
“No, I know that you guys agreed it to, but-”
“Y/n-ah, we didn't just agree to it. They told me they wanted us to consider adding a female member to Stray Kids. We thought about it and said yes. I was the one who wanted that member to be you.”
You stare at him, dumbfounded.
“What?”
“Why are you so surprised? I saw your evaluations, you were one of trainees strongest in dance, probably the only one that could keep up with us, your singing has always been stable, and I know that based on your personality and work ethic, you would get along well with the rest of us. It was the obvious choice.”
“Oh.” Is all you can say, mind racing.
“You really thought the company just added your name onto the roster and we went along with it?”
“I don't know, I guess so?” you say sheepishly. “I was just so grateful to debut, it didn't matter at the time. It felt so out of the blue.”
“You know that one of the reasons that JYP didn't have you on that many of the girl group line-ups was because he was considering making you a solo artist, right?”
“Huh? There's no way,” you immediately deny. “Nobody ever mentioned that-”
“He told me when I brought up your name to add to the group. I guess they never wanted to get your hopes up.”
“I thought they were going to drop me soon,” you admit, scratching at the back of your neck. “I uh, I thought maybe I would do at most one more year of training and then move back in with my family. I had even started filling out university applications to keep my options open.”
“Y/n, you were consistently having amazing evaluations, you were being praised so much by everyone. Why would you doubt yourself?”
“Three years as a trainee and nothing to show for it. You know what it was like, how hard it was to see people come and go. It didn't matter how great my evaluations were if I never got to debut.”
“But-”
“Don't tell me that you never thought about quitting. Oppa, I thought that you of all people would understand what it was like.” You hate the way that your voice cracks.
“I thought about it all the time,” Chan says. “Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”
“It's fine,” you mumble.
“Y/n-ah,” Chan asks tentatively, like he's afraid to learn the answer. “All these years that we've been together, did you really think we didn't want you?”
“Yes? Well, not really. I didn't think you guys disliked having me in the group per se, I just always thought that maybe you would like it more if I wasn't? And I guess it didn't help that there are a lot of people who thought the same way.”
“I'm sorry we didn't reassure you more.” Chan runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “How did we not see that you felt this way?”
“Because I didn't want you to? It's not like it was your fault anyway, I was just overthinking.”
“You know we're going to have to make it up to you, right?” Chan says, looking a little mischievous.
“Oh please no,” you say, backing away nervously thinking of how much coddling and smothering you're about to endure. You're pretty sure you're already one of the members that's doted on the most. “Things are good as they are.”
“Nope, I refuse.” Chan approaches you, reaching out and catching your wrist so that you can't get away. “We're going to give you so much love that you're not going to doubt yourself ever again.”
“No!” you squeal, trying to tug away from his grip. “I already-”
The rest of your sentence gets cut off as Chan pulls you into an embrace and your face gets smashed against his shoulder. He squeezes you tightly and contrary to your words, you just relax into his hold.
“What are you guys doing? You're being so loud.”
Both you and Chan freeze, then turn to stare as Jeongin shuffles into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes with his hair all mussed up. You turn back to Chan for a second before he replies.
“Just having a bit of a heart to heart, Innie. Come here, join us,” he invites.
“Ugh, why would I want to hug either of you?” Jeongin complains, wrinkling his nose before immediately walking over and enveloping both of you in his arms.
Even though you know you're going to have to leave for a schedule in a matter of hours, with both Chan and Jeongin's arms wrapped tight around you, you feel lighter than you have in months. You feel secure, at ease, and finally, like you've found a home in these boys.
where the heart is collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist
#too close to home#where the heart is collection#chahnniesroom#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#skz x you#skz angst#stray kids angst#skz fic#stray kids fic#skz fanfic#stray kids fanfic#stray kids 9th member#stray kids ninth member#skz 9th member#skz ninth member#stray kids imagines#skz fluff#stray kids fluff#stray kids#skz#bang chan#lee minho#lee know#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin
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addicted to you | spencer reid x reader
Spencer isn’t inclined to be affectionate with you. He’s a socially awkward germaphobe, and you’re perfectly fine with it. However, being three months into your relationship, you can’t help but want more. Once Spencer gets a taste, he wants more too. A lot more.
part 1 | part 2 - insatiable
wc: 6.1k, rating: explicit/18+
tags/warnings: established relationship, first times, virgin!spencer, early seasons spencer, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering praise kink, morning wood, morning sex, sex in unconventional places (like, not in public but not the bed lol), cunnilingus, creampie, implied multiple orgasms
a/n: no excuse for this insane fic but i was strangely inspired by a post i saw on twitter that i wanted to put a lighthearted (and horny) spin on. i definitely felt crazy writing this and i feel crazy posting this now so i sure hope you enjoy this insanity! (p.s you can also find this fic on ao3!)
You don’t mind that Spencer isn’t touchy. You understand, with Spencer being a germaphobe and a little socially awkward, that he isn’t inclined to kisses on the cheek or holding your hand. You’ve only been dating for three months, and he’s already getting better at doing these things, which makes your heart sing.
Spencer is sweet, willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy. He used to shy away from your touch, but he’s gotten more comfortable with you. He lets you hold his hand when you’re out on a date, or he’ll kiss you chastely out in public. He lets you drape yourself over him when you’re sitting on the couch together watching a show, his arm around your waist to pull you in close.
While you can understand Spencer’s hesitance towards public displays of affection, due to his awkwardness and anxieties about germs, you’re surprised he hasn’t initiated anything more in the privacy of his apartment (or yours). You’re starting to itch for it, something more, your attraction to Spencer Reid simply too overwhelming for it to simply be sweet and innocent anymore. Your body craves him desperately, because he’s so lovely and so fucking handsome. You’ve caught yourself staring at his hands more than once.
Tonight, you decide you’ll get what you want. You’re going to fuck Spencer Reid.
With your head buried in his shoulder during movie night, your hand runs down his body, getting dangerously close to his crotch – he jumps up off the couch, almost comedic, and stares at you like your touch had burned him. He looks positively freaked out.
“Spencer,” you say, very confused that he’s not into this. What kind of man doesn’t like his girlfriend initiating sex? Hell, what kind of man doesn’t like sex?
“I just–” Spencer pauses, like he’s struggling to find the words. “I can’t. Not right now, I–”
“Hey, it’s okay.” You assure him. “We don’t have to. Ever, if that’s what you want.”
His eyes widen again. “No! I want to, just– It’s difficult, right now.”
You cock your head slightly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Spencer frowns slightly, seeming to know that talking about it is the most rational thing to do, but it’s not like that makes him want to do it. “Well, I– I’ve never done it before.”
Your mouth falls open, just a little, and you look up at him. While you don’t mean to judge, it certainly isn’t surprising. Spencer was fourteen when he was starting university, and his general awkward demeanour and extreme nerdiness would likely rule out any sexual encounters for him during his time in college. Spencer’s line of work would clearly make it difficult for him to maintain a relationship – you definitely lucked out with getting to date him – and he’s too much of a softie for one night stands. So, Spencer Reid being a virgin at twenty-seven definitely checks out.
“That’s okay,” you say softly. “It’s totally normal.”
Spencer’s lips press into a thin line. “Well, you know it took me a while to get used to being affectionate with you, so I think–”
“Being intimate with someone else is going to be a hurdle you’ll need time to cross, too?”
Spencer looks up at you, eyes wet, looking at you like you’ve read him like an open book. He whispers, “Yeah.”
“That’s okay,” you repeat, even though you’re trying to come to terms with the fact that you’re not going to fuck Spencer Reid tonight. “I’ll– We’ll take it slow, if you want to try.”
“Yes, please.” He has a small smile on his lips as he looks up at you. “I– We could try doing something tonight, too. I just– I wasn’t expecting it earlier. I’m sorry for pushing you off like that.”
You shake your head, reassuring him that you aren’t offended by it by any means. Then, you ask, “You’re sure you want to try? Tonight?”
Spencer nods, as he reaches for your hand. He holds it gently, resting it on his thigh. “Yeah. I haven’t– It’s been a long time since I’ve been with someone, but I want to, with you.”
You lean in to kiss his cheek gently. “I’m glad you trust me.”
His eyes are soft and syrupy when he meets your gaze. “Of course I trust you.”
You squeeze Spencer’s thigh before pressing your lips to his, the familiarity of kissing Spencer making you both ease up a little more. Your kiss is gentle, sweet, just like every other kiss you've shared, but you let your hand slide up his thigh as you kiss him, and you can feel Spencer tensing up under your touch. You squeeze his thigh to reassure him, and you feel Spencer wriggle underneath where you're leaning your body weight on him to loosen up.
Your hand skirts over his crotch, a hardness under your palm that makes you feel somewhat proud of yourself. Spencer’s breathing is heavy as he keeps kissing you, and keeps letting you touch him. You think he’s so cute. You just want to make him feel good.
You push the waistband of his sweats down, tugging him out of his pants. His cock is the same shade of red as his cheeks, his shyness turning you on extremely.
He doesn’t look down at himself, where you’re holding him – instead, his eyes are intently focused on your face. You don’t push him about it, instead leaning forward to kiss him as you start to stroke his cock.
This time, it feels desperate. Spencer kisses you with more fervour, like a fire’s been lit within him, the pleasure running through his veins almost like liquid courage as he kisses you deeply. You’re more than happy to be doing this, letting Spencer lick into your mouth while you jerk him off. You appreciate the weight of him in your hand, imagining him inside of you – but perhaps you’re getting ahead of yourself.
“You can touch me, Spence,” you say, in between Spencer kissing you fervently. His hands have been cupping your face, but otherwise he seems awkward with them. You pull back slightly, and while it’s adorable that he’s still holding your face sweetly, you drag his hands down to your chest, in the oversized t-shirt you’d stolen from Spencer’s drawer. “Like this.”
Spencer’s large hands cup your breasts through the shirt perfectly. He squeezes tentatively. You bite your lip as his palms brush over your nipples, as he manhandles you just a little. It’s more force than you’re used to from Spencer, kneading and squeezing and feeling you, and that makes your head spin.
Daringly, Spencer’s hands slip under your shirt, as he leans back in to kiss you. You feel his calloused hands on your skin as he feels you up, making you shudder. His touch isn’t demanding nor pushy, simply exploratory as he feels your soft skin under his fingertips.
Your arousal is pumping through your system, Spencer’s gentle submissiveness like a drug you can’t kick. The more you touch him, the more he reacts; touching you more, whimpering and gasping against your lips, into your neck.
“Come on, baby,” you coo in his ear, your hand speeding up on Spencer’s hardness. He’s leaking pathetically, wet in your palm, and he squirms underneath you.
“I’m– It’s too–” Spencer cuts himself off with a helpless whine, like he can’t control himself. His hands grip your waist tight. “Please–”
“Mm,” you hum sympathetically, while you thoroughly enjoy seeing Spencer like this. “Wanna cum like this, baby?”
Spencer’s breathing hard. He can’t get the words out, but he shakes his head. You slow your strokes, to an excruciating pressure on his length. “No? Then tell me, Spence.”
“Inside you,” He gasps, eyes squeezed shut.
You absolutely should not let Spencer fuck you for the first time on his couch, but he’s desperate and your resolve is steadily crumbling. “You– You’re sure?”
“Please,” Spencer gasps, his eyes pleading with you helplessly.
So, you pull your hand back and push your shorts off instead. Your panties come off in one fell swoop, and you sit back onto the couch with your legs spread. Spencer’s eyes are wide and his lips are parted as he looks at you, takes the sight of you in.
Then he’s like a baby deer, standing up and fumbling to get his sweatpants off. You can’t help but giggle at his awkward movements, in his excitement and eagerness to get to touch you, to get to fuck you. He’s quick to get between your legs, his hardness nudging at your entrance already.
“Mm, not yet, Spence,” you hum. You reach for his hand, taking his wrist as you guide his fingers to your clit. “You know what to do, right?”
He turns his wrist so his fingers – God, his fingers – are poised almost elegantly above your clit. He presses down and starts to circle his fingers against you. You gasp.
“Thought you didn’t– oh– Didn’t have much experience,” you gasp. You hold onto Spencer’s forearm tight, throwing your head back as Spencer pleasures you.
Spencer huffs out a laugh. “I might not be experienced, but I’m not a prude– I remember the… stuff I’ve seen. Eidetic memory and all.”
“Stuff,” you laugh. “I’m sure the porn you’ve watched must’ve helped, darling.”
He slips his fingers into your wetness with an unsurprising ease, considering how turned on you are by him. He hits spots inside you you’ve never thought were possible to reach, but they make electricity zip up your spine. You moan as he crooks his fingers into you, rocking them in and out with a wet squelch.
Spencer grins at you. “You were saying?”
“You’re a cocky bastard, you know that?” you huff, your tone teetering between awfully turned on and mildly annoyed.
“You like it,” Spencer says, assured of himself, and you smile, because you really do.
“My love,” you moan, as Spencer presses his fingers into you, back out. “You should try fucking me now.”
Spencer’s fingers are still inside of you, and his eyes are wide as he looks up at you. “You think so?”
You smile at him. “If you think you’re up for it.”
You mourn the loss of Spencer’s fingers, but as he’s mumbling to himself and lining his cock up with your entrance, you can only coo at how adorable you find all of this. And how turned on you are, but that’s more than obvious to the both of you by now.
He looks to you, like he’s looking for reassurance. You nod. Even in the silence, he’s gotten the confidence to push his cock into you, the thickness of his tip breaching your hole. You gasp as you stretch around him, your cunt making space for him as he slides in, excruciatingly slow. “Spencer–”
Spencer lets out a whine as your tight heat engulfs him, his length swallowed up by you as he sinks deeper into you. “Oh, my God–”
“Just like that, baby,” you moan, your leg hooking around Spencer’s leg to coax him forward, closer to you. “Fuck.”
“Do I– When should I–” Spencer gasps, unable to form a coherent sentence with the pleasure swimming through his bloodstream.
“You can start moving when you don’t feel like you’re going to blow your load if you breathe the wrong way,” you joke, but Spencer does seriously look like he’s going to finish any second. “Hey. Deep breaths, baby.”
Spencer’s brows are furrowed and his eyes are squeezed shut as he breathes in hard, in through his nose and out through his mouth. He’d told you to do that when he’d helped you through a panic attack one time, and while you feel bad that he feels so nervous about all this, it’s extremely amusing to you right now.
“Look at me,” you say, trying your best not to laugh. “You’re doing great, love.”
Spencer pulls his lower lip between his teeth, his eyes looking to you for validation.
“So good for me, darling,” you coo, your hand on his hip, while your thumb draws little circles into his skin. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah,” Spencer shudders, voice high-pitched and a little breathy. “I– You feel really good.”
“Yeah? It’ll feel even better when you start moving, sweetheart,” you hum. “You think you can do that for me? Slow, out then back in.”
Spencer whimpers, nodding, and he takes another deep breath in. His hands on your waist, he pulls out halfway before pressing back into you, and he moans so loudly your ears ring. “So– So tight, you–”
“That’s good, yeah? Feels good?” you coo. “Come on, baby. More.”
Spencer rests one of his arms on the back of the couch, holding himself steady and getting him that much closer to you. He starts to thrust in and out, starting off slow as he finds a rhythm.
His thrusts are erratic, but you’re so wildly turned on and it still feels amazing, because it’s Spencer.
Spencer is frantic, desperate, bracing himself against the couch as he fucks into you. Maybe pounding into you is a better phrase to use, because he’s fucking you like a madman, till the couch is squeaking under both your weight. You cry out, feeling Spencer drilling into you – and it feels so good.
“Oh, God,” Spencer whines. “You– It’s so good, oh–”
“Yeah, baby?” You rock your hips along with him, burying Spencer deeper into you. You clench so each thrust is a little tighter, and each time Spencer fucks into you, he moans a little louder.
Amidst Spencer’s whines and pretty noises, you watch his face morph with pleasure, feeling assured that he’s enjoying this as much as you are. In fact, he’s probably enjoying this more. As you’re lost in your train of thought, admiring Spencer’s gorgeous face, you’re startled when you feel Spencer’s load inside of you, hot and slick. His hips flush against your ass, Spencer shudders as he rides out his orgasm, body trembling from the force of his pleasure.
“Oh, Spence,” you giggle, a little dizzy from how turned on you are, from watching Spencer lose himself just like that. You reach up to cup his face, your thumb gentle on his cheek. “Was that good?”
“Oh,” Spencer mumbles, seemingly brought back to reality. He pulls back, taking the sight of you in. “I’m– I’m good, I’m sorry–”
“Don’t be,” you say. “You’re so cute. It’s so hot.”
“I mean, you are too, but– But you haven’t–”
“You wanna make it up to me, then?” You smile, gentle and warm and Spencer nods like he’s eager to please you.
You kiss him while he pulls out, replacing the thickness of his cock with two fingers, which fit into you easily. Like before, Spencer presses his fingers into you, slick and wet and squelchy. Spencer curls them and fingerfucks you like a pro, like he’s done this a hundred times. With his face pressed into your shoulder and your arms slung around his neck, Spencer fucks you on his fingers until your toes are curling and you’re screaming his name. You cry out as you orgasm, shaking as Spencer fucks you through it.
You’re almost embarrassed when you finally come back to your senses, no longer reeling from the intensity of your orgasm. Spencer is kissing your jawline sweetly, his clean hand stroking your hair.
“Hey,” Spencer says softly, somehow knowing you needed to hear him. He parrots you from earlier, “Was– Was that good?”
“So good, my love,” you murmur into his shoulder. Then, after a quiet moment, “I thought you needed some time to get comfortable with being intimate.”
Spencer pauses for a moment, like he’s pondering it, before he says, “I know. But for you, I think I’d do anything.”
That’s all Spencer manages to get out before you kiss him again. It’s tender and sweet, the intensity behind your kiss no longer lustful but full of adoration and love. You feel like you could sob right now, but you manage to hold it back.
Spencer gets into the shower with you, which you’re surprised by, but his hands are soft on your body as he cleans you up. You shampoo his hair for him, even though he has to lean forward a little so you can reach.
You end up falling asleep in Spencer’s bed, curled up in his arms.
You don’t dream at night, but when you wake up with a hardness poking against your thigh and Spencer’s gentle snoring in your ear, you think you might be.
In your dreariness, you reach behind you, the angular sharpness of Spencer’s hip bone under your palm. He’s warm, cuddled up against you, and the tickling of his breath on your neck tells you that this isn’t a dream.
“Spence,” you whisper, shaking him slightly. You watch as he blinks himself awake, drowsy as he comes to focus on your face. “Hey.”
“Good morning,” Spencer says, his voice rough with disuse. “What’s up?”
“You are,” you smile, a little too pleased, as your hand snakes down toward his crotch.
He squeaks at the contact, your soft hand on his hardness, “Um, sorry about that.”
“Don’t be,” you laugh. “Had a good dream?”
He pulls his lower lip between his teeth. “About you, yeah.”
“Wanna tell me about it?” you goad, wiggling your eyebrows.
Spencer’s cheeks somehow get even redder than they already were, but he shakes his head. “I want– I want to have sex, though.”
Your eyes widen. “Now?”
“Do you have the time for it?” He asks, sheepish. “I– I want to fuck you again.”
Your cheeks flush at Spencer’s sudden crudeness. You think about what Spencer could’ve possibly dreamt up, wonder how Spencer could possibly be confident enough to tell you straight up that he wants to fuck you. That phrase probably hadn’t been in Spencer’s lexicon until about twelve hours ago – while Spencer was smart – a literal genius – his innocence was completely understandable.
“We have time,” you exhale, looking back into his eyes after looking at the clock. “I only have to be at the office in a couple of hours.”
“Good,” Spencer says, leaning in to kiss down your neck. His hands are frisky already, slipping underneath your shirt. Spencer splays his hands over your stomach, before reaching up to cup your breasts in his hands.
“You like touching me like this, don’t you, baby?” you chuckle breathlessly, already feeling weak in the knees from the way Spencer holds you. “Mm, I’m surprised.”
“Why is that?” His words are slightly muffled against your skin, too busy kissing you to make himself sound coherent. His hands are rough against the softness of your skin, and you moan from the way he’s handling you.
“Yesterday you couldn’t even tell me you wanted to fuck,” you croon, thoroughly pleased. “And now you’re touching me like you know what you’re doing. It’s so hot.”
“I– I just can’t get enough of you,” Spencer admits, his earnest words turning you on extremely.
“Now you’re just horny,” you laugh, feeling Spencer’s hand slide over your underwear.
“Mm, you’re so wet right now too,” Spencer murmurs in your ear, his warm breath and raspy voice sending a shiver down your spine. Where’d he learn to talk like that? You squeeze your thighs together, but that doesn’t stop Spencer from feeling the wetness between your legs, soaking through your panties.
“All for you, baby,” you gasp, as Spencer’s fingers slip past the band of your underwear, deftly stroking your clit. “Spencer–”
“Can I fuck you? Please?” He pleads, breathy, his hips already rutting forward against your ass.
His eagerness makes your head spin, his sudden confidence in the realm of sex surprising – maybe it’s cockiness, but you still find that stupidly attractive – but it is certainly welcomed.
“Yes, Spence, please,” you shudder, the word yes leaving your lips enough for Spencer to pull your underwear down, over the swell of your ass. He fumbles with his own boxers for a moment, but soon you feel his hard, leaking tip pressed to your butt. He rocks his hips back and forth, desperately seeking whatever friction he can get.
Lost in his own pleasure, Spencer is quick to slide his cock between your legs, the wetness from your cunt making it easy for him to rut into the tight, slick space. Like this, his length rubs up against you, the head of his cock nudging at your clit with every thrust of his hips. It feels primal, Spencer so far gone that he isn’t even fucking you proper, content with the slick, tight space between your thighs and your pussy. You wonder if you need to tell him, but Spencer’s groan in your ear is shaky as his tip catches on your hole.
His arms wrapped around you, both of you moan as Spencer finally sinks his cock into you. He slides in too easily, so easily you almost think he’d hadn’t meant to do it. Maybe he hadn’t, but you’d gotten there in the end, where you both need to be; Spencer buried inside of you.
It’s so different from yesterday, the angle when he presses into you from behind so exhilarating, so good. He’s just as desperate as last night, but there’s a sort of reckless confidence in his movements. His hands slide under your shirt to grab at your tits again, rocking his hips while he practically gropes you. It’s so hot your head spins. You feel like you’re going to explode.
“Spencer!” You cry out, your voice ripping its way out of your throat. Pleasure surges through you like electricity, Spencer’s thick cock hitting all the right spots from this angle. His eager desperation turns you on to no end, as you let him take you from behind. While you weren’t expecting lazy, morning sex at all, the intensity and desperation he fucks you with right now makes you think you could get used to this.
Spencer’s whine has your head spinning. His hips don’t slow, more rhythmic than yesterday but still as needy. “Fuck, you feel so good.”
“Yeah?” You coo breathlessly. You’re so fucking turned on, and every time Spencer drives his hips into you you can hear how wet you really are. “You’re doing so good for me, Spence, fucking me so good.”
“You like it? Is it good?” Spencer gasps, always so eager to please you.
“So good,” you moan. You’re still sore from last night, but the pleasure Spencer is giving you right now overrides all of that. You would love for him to wake you up like this every day. “I’m close, baby.”
“Oh,” Spencer says, like he’s surprised you’re already getting off on this, on him– “What do you need me to do?”
“Just keep going, Spence,” you gasp. “Keep fucking me just like this.”
Spencer’s hum is breathy, high-pitched. Somehow, his grip on you gets tighter, holding you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear. The force he fucks you with is so wildly arousing. You’re so enamoured, and so turned on.
Your orgasm creeps up on you, slow and steady as it bubbles up inside of you. You squeeze your eyes shut, focusing on the dirty, rough way Spencer fucks you, and then you feel his soft lips on your neck again. He isn’t properly kissing you – more like slobbering all over your neck, but you cry out as he does so, thighs pressing together as you reach your orgasm. You’re shaking through it, clenching around Spencer as you come, and Spencer’s gasping as your tight pussy pushes Spencer over the edge too. You feel his come inside of you, cock twitching as his load spurts hot and heavy into your cunt. You sob, feeling Spencer slow his thrusts as he rides out his orgasm.
“Holy shit,” you say, your voice coming out ragged and hoarse. You feel like a different woman, being fucked ruthlessly by your boyfriend in his bed for the first time. You can’t get enough.
“I love you,” Spencer says quietly, earnest. It makes you shudder.
“You’re crazy,” you laugh, taken aback at how Spencer’s returned to his gentle, soft self. “I love you too, you madman.”
“I can’t resist you,” he murmurs in your ear, the vibrations of his raspy morning voice almost soothing.
You turn around to face him, Spencer still holding you in his arms. He smiles warmly at you, and you lean in to kiss him. “You’re so cute.”
“Wanna go again?” he asks, somewhat timid.
Your eyes widen. You try to hide your grin, but it doesn’t work. “Someone’s desperate, huh?”
Spencer flushes a gorgeous red. “Maybe a little?”
“I have to get ready for work,” you sigh, actually a little bummed that you can't spend all day fucking Spencer. “Maybe tonight?”
“Okay,” Spencer smiles. “Want me to drive you back to yours?”
You grin. “You’re the best!”
Work is relatively uneventful, numbers and Excel spreadsheets; and all you can think about is Spencer’s rapid change in demeanour over the last twelve hours, his innocence torn away by you, leaving behind a horny, insatiable man. You’re kind of proud of yourself for that.
So, you can’t blame yourself for being excited to get back to Spencer’s. Lately, you’ve been staying over more, your apartment simply a place to house your wardrobe. Maybe you’ll talk to Spencer about living together.
“Hey, Spence,” you say, pleased when Spencer kisses you as he greets you at the door.
Even with all the probable germs on you from being out all day, Spencer’s surprisingly clingy, hands on your waist as he stumbles in behind you, as you set the takeout you’d brought over on his dining table. Spencer leans in behind you, kissing your cheek then down your neck.
“Hey, what’s with you, baby?” you chuckle, very much enjoying the way Spencer’s hands slide down your waist to your hips, grabbing the meat of your thighs through your dress pants.
“Missed you,” Spencer answers simply, but even you can tell there’s something in his voice that implies he’s looking for something more.
“I’m sorry I had to leave you alone the whole day, my love. I’m sure you must’ve found something to busy yourself with, though?” You hum, teasing. You have a good idea of where this is going.
Spencer’s quiet for a moment, so you turn to look at him. His lips are pressed into a thin line, looking almost nervous, and his cheeks are flushed red. Spencer finally presses his body close to yours, and you feel it–
“Spence,” you grin, “Someone’s happy to see me.”
“Thought about it– Thought about you all day,” Spencer mumbles. “You promised.”
“What did I promise, baby?” you egg him on, eager to hear him say it, even though you definitely know what he’s going to ask.
“That we would do it again tonight,” he answers, but you shoot him a look. “You said we would have sex again tonight.”
“Twice in one day? I don’t know, baby,” you pretend to sound disinterested.
Spencer looks at you with wide eyes. Respectful as ever, he clears his throat. “Please? If you’re tired we don’t have to, but I really want to. Only if you want to, though. This involves both of us, I don’t want to impose–”
You giggle, reaching to hold his hands. “God, you’re perfect.”
“What–?” Spencer barely gets the word out before you’re kissing him. He’s happy to do so, holding your face gently, matching your energy perfectly. You feel his cock pressing against you.
“I turned you into a sex fiend,” you laugh, between kissing him, “And you’re still thinking about making sure I’m into it too.”
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer’s brows furrow slightly, like he can’t comprehend how he could be into it if you weren’t too. “And I- I’m not a sex fiend, I just–”
Smiling, you whisper sultrily, “I think you should take me right here, baby.”
“Oh–” You cut Spencer off with another kiss, and he squeaks as you reach for his half-hard cock through his sweatpants. You’re positively delighted that Spencer’s like this, for you.
Spencer kisses you deeply, leaning forward until the small of your back hits the edge of the table. His hands coming up to your ass, he lifts you up, getting you to lay back on the table. You gasp, as Spencer kisses down the column of your neck, his hands making quick work of the buttons of your dress shirt. His lips are soft against your skin, at the swell of your breasts. Your shirt gets pushed off your shoulders. You feel him unhook your bra with a surprising ease, tossed aside, and then his hands are grabbing your tits like they were made for him. His thumbs brush over your nipples, a little forceful as he kneads at you, and your head is spinning.
“Spencer,” you moan, as he kisses down your stomach, unbuttoning your pants to reveal your soaked-through underwear. He smiles up at you, his messy mop of hair a lovely sight.
“Can I…?” Spencer’s big brown eyes dart down to where you’re soaked, then back up at you.
Your eyes widen. “Yes. If you want to.”
Spencer grins. “Of course I want to.”
His fingers are gentle on your hips as he pulls your panties off, wasting no time in spreading your legs so he can get between them. Your eyes are wide as you watch him, feeling kind of self-conscious over how eager he is to be doing this. Knelt between your thighs, he lifts one of your legs and swings them over his shoulder. You can feel his stubble on the soft skin of your inner thigh, his nose nudging against your clit. His tongue comes up, wet and hot, as he tastes you for the first time. “Spencer–”
He presses his face impossibly closer, more urgent in eating you out. You watch as his eyes flutter shut, his jaw flexing as his tongue works on you, and you’re trembling already. Spencer’s extremely good with his mouth, and you’re surprised at how good he’s making you feel, considering he likely hasn’t done this before. The sounds of his mouth are wet and squelchy and so obscene, and you would feel almost embarrassed, were it not for how into this Spencer seems to be too,
With your hands in his hair, you cry out when Spencer’s tongue circles your swollen clit, jolts of pleasure sent through your body. You can’t think straight when Spencer’s face is buried between your legs, eating you out like he was made for this. All you can think about is how gifted Spencer is with his tongue, and how you wish you could do this all night.
“Please, love,” you moan, “Need you to fuck me.”
Spencer hums in approval, the vibrations between your legs making you jump. He makes a little wet slurping noise before he comes back up, and you feel your cunt throb when he looks up at you with his lovely, wide brown eyes, and his chin wet and messy with your slick. Spencer wipes his face with the back of his hand, and you’re so turned on you might just explode.
“I love you,” you tell him earnestly. “I think this is the craziest thing I’ve ever done. I love you.”
“What is? Having sex on my dinner table?” Spencer quips, as he sets your legs down and stands back up. He has a cocky grin plastered on his face.
You roll your eyes playfully. “First time for everything, right?”
Spencer nods, smiling, before he leans forward to kiss you sweetly. You watch as he pulls his sweatpants down, his cock bobbing up, red and angry and rock hard. You feel yourself salivating at the sight, but decide that he needs to fuck you right now.
“Spencer,” you mewl, feeling breathless as you watch him wrap a hand around himself, stroking his length. Concentration is written all over his face and it makes you want to kiss him.
“I’ve been wanting to do this all day,” Spencer says, pressing his cock forward until he’s lined up with your entrance. It’s so tantalising, the way the blunt head of his cock threatens to slip into you. You’re so wet and so loose for him, and you need him inside of you now.
You gasp when he finally pushes in, his thick cock splitting you in half as he slides into you. The pressure is so perfect, the slow draw of his hips as he takes care not to rush, wanting to take care of you. Even with all this still being new for Spencer, he still focuses on you, puts you first. You’re not sure if you’re swooning over him, or the way his cock fits inside you perfectly.
You don’t need to encourage him to start moving. He rocks his hips slowly, somehow already familiar with your body, and makes you feel like you could explode with pleasure.
He leans forward, pressing his body to yours as he kisses you. Like this, Spencer presses into you deeper, fucks you slow and deep and loving. The edge of the table is absolutely digging into your back, but you don’t care when every sense of yours is filled with Spencer, getting to taste and touch and hear him. You taste yourself on his tongue, hear the sloppy way he thrusts into you, your skin burning wherever he’s pressed up against you.
Burying his face in your neck, Spencer pants in your ear, hot and heavy as he fucks you, giving you everything you need. Your head is swimming with arousal, as Spencer presses you against the table and fucks you like his life depends on it. “You feel so good, fuck, so good–”
“I’m so close, baby,” you cry out, the pace absolutely ruthless as Spencer fucks you. You didn’t think his stamina would be this good, considering your boyfriend’s lanky stature and abhorrence towards exercise. You certainly wouldn’t mind doing this kind of cardio with him more often. “Please, Spence–”
“Let go, I– I’m here for you,” Spencer stumbles over his words, but he’s so sweet that you’re losing yourself, your orgasm crashing into you like a tidal wave. You scream as you reach your peak, your toes curling while Spencer fucks you through it, shaking as pleasure and arousal zips through your body. Spencer’s hips stutter as the tightness of your pussy has him reeling, too close too quickly.
While his hips keep a steady pace, you’re feeling loopy as Spencer continues to fuck you. You hold his head close to you, kissing his forehead as you murmur, “You’re so hot, Spence. Made me come so quickly, and you held out for me? So good for me, baby. Are you close?”
Spencer whines, a pitiful noise in the back of his throat. “Please, I’m so close, need you–”
“I’m right here, baby,” you coo, stroking his sweat-matted hair sweetly. You’re so enamoured with him. “Gonna cum inside me, Spence? Fill me up with your–”
You don’t even get to finish your dirty talk before Spencer is moaning, coming inside of you. It feels like he’s released so much inside of you, hot and messy as he fucks you through his own high. His chest heaves as he pants, trembling as he reels from the intensity of his orgasm. Spencer’s hips slow to a stop, and he mouths at your neck mindlessly until he seems to get his bearings back. You imagine you must look a mess, sweat and spit all over you, your makeup from a long day of work likely running by now.
Spencer gets up off of you, so both of you have space to catch your breaths. You feel Spencer slip out of you with a slick ‘pop’, and feel his release trickle out of you just moments after. You stifle a quiet moan, but when you look up at Spencer, his eyes couldn’t possibly leave the sight between your legs. His lips are parted slightly, pupils blown wide, as he watches you drip with his release. You feel Spencer’s cock, resting against your inner thigh, twitch slightly.
“Woah there, cowboy,” you chuckle, out of breath. “Give me a minute to recover.”
His eyes practically twinkle when they dart up to look at you. He’s like an excited puppy as he asks, “Again?”
You shake your head, laughing, and sit up to kiss Spencer again. “Maybe we could try something new?”
Spencer grins, nodding eagerly. It definitely seems like he’s down for whatever, as long as it’s with you.
#spencer reid smut#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencerreidenjoyer writes
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XO,I'm Yours

pairing: Jungwon x fem! Reader
genre: XO, Kitty au
synopsis: Having a massive crush on Jungwon is tough. Every time he’s around, your brain malfunctions, and instead of acting normal, you… avoid him. He’s calm, chill, and entirely out of your league (at least, that’s what you tell yourself). Enter Kitty, the matchmaker, determined to make things happen. With her “help,” you find yourself in the most awkward yet heart-racing moments with Jungwon.
The worst part? Jungwon is noticing you now. And it’s making everything so much more complicated. But maybe… Kitty’s plan wasn’t so bad after all.
author's note: This was requested by @firstclassjaylee . Thank you for this idea!!! Please let me know the pronouns for the og XO Kitty characters! I wasn’t sure, so if I got them wrong, I’d happily change them immediately. Apologies in advance for not being able to mention all the characters. Happy reading!
caution: This fic contains extreme secondhand embarrassment and an excessive amount of Jungwon-induced butterflies. Read at your own risk!
permanent tag list: @sol3chu @chlorinecake @13tter @jung1w0n
The plan was simple. Avoid Jungwon at all costs.
It wasn’t that he was mean. That was the problem. Jungwon was nice. The kind of nice that made your stomach do flips and made you feel like an idiot for getting so flustered over someone just existing. So, instead of embarrassing yourself, you settled for admiring him from afar. No eye contact. No unnecessary conversations. Easy.
At least, it was easy...until Kitty found out.
“You have a massive crush on him,” Kitty said one afternoon with her arms crossed.
“No, I don’t.” You knew lying was pointless, but still, you had to try.
Kitty gave you a look. “You walked into a door last week because he was standing near it.”
Your face burned. “That was an accident.”
“Sure,” she said unimpressed. “Look, lucky for you, I happen to be amazing at matchmaking. And I happen to have a plan.”
You blinked. “A plan?”
“Step one: Stop avoiding him.”
You immediately shook your head. “Absolutely not.”
“Too bad because I already started.”
Your stomach dropped. “Kitty. What did you do?”
She just grinned. “You’ll see.”
And just like that, your quiet little crush? It was about to become very complicated.
💌
You should have known Kitty wouldn’t waste any time. The very next day, you find yourself in an unavoidable situation.
It started in the Library. You had just settled in your usual corner, buried in a book, when Kitty slid into the seat across from you.
“What are you—”
“Shh.” She put a finger to her lips. “Just act natural.”
That’s when you saw him.
Jungwon.
He was scanning the shelves a few feet away, oblivious to how your entire body tensed at seeing him. Your brain screamed at you to run, but before you could, Kitty leaned in and whispered, “I told him you needed help with your econ homework.”
Your eyes widened in horror. “You did what?”
And right on cue, Jungwon turned, eyes landing on you.
“Hey,” he said as he was walking over.
Kitty beamed. “Perfect timing! She was saying how she’s completely lost in econ.”
You snapped your head toward her. Liar. You were literally top of the class.
Jungwon pulled out the chair beside you and sat down without hesitation. “I can help.”
You swallowed. Oh no.
Kitty’s grin was way too smug. “Great! I’ll leave you two to it.” Then, before you could protest, she was gone.
Leaving you. Alone. With Jungwon.
You looked down at your phone, noticing a message from Kitty
“You’re welcome ;)’’
💌
You tried to focus on Jungwon's explanation for the first few minutes. Really, you did.
But how were you supposed to concentrate when he was sitting this close?
He leaned over the table, pointing at your textbook, his voice steady as he explained some economic theory. You nodded along, pretending to listen, but in reality, your brain was short-circuiting.
“Does that make sense?” he asked, turning to look at you.
You blinked. “Huh?”
He raised an eyebrow. “You weren’t listening, were you?”
Your face heated. “I was! Kind of. Maybe.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “You’re bad at lying.”
You groaned, then covered your face. “This is embarrassing.”
“Why?” He tilted his head. “It’s just me.”
Exactly.
It was just him. Just Jungwon, who you had spent months avoiding because he made you feel like a walking disaster. But he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed amused.
“I don’t bite, you know,” he said. “You don’t have to be scared of me.”
“I’m not scared of you,” you blurted out.
He smirked. “So you’ve just been avoiding me for fun?”
You clamped your mouth shut.
Jungwon leaned back in his chair, watching you with a knowing look. “Huh.”
You frowned. “What?”
“Nothing.” His smirk deepened. “You’re interesting.”
Your stomach did a backflip.
Oh, you were so doomed.
Later that night, Kitty found you in your dorm room, looking too pleased with herself.
“So?” she asked, flopping onto your bed. “How did it go?”
You groaned. “I made a fool of myself.”
Kitty laughed. “Define ‘fool.’”
“I blanked out. He caught me staring. I admitted to avoiding him. And he called me interesting.”
Her eyes widened. “Wait. He called you interesting?”
You nodded miserably.
Kitty squealed. “That’s huge!”
You frowned. “How is that huge?”
“Because Jungwon doesn’t just call people interesting, my dear hopeless friend. You caught his attention.”
Your heart skipped a beat. “You think?”
“I know.” Kitty grinned. “And trust me, this is only the beginning.”
You groaned again, flopping face-first onto your pillow.
Kitty just laughed.
After all, the matchmaking had only just begun.
💌
“Okay,” Kitty clapped her hands, grinning as she stared at you. “Today’s the day we level you up.”
You blinked and were confused. “Level me up?”
“Yes! You like Jungwon, but you get all shy and awkward around him,” she pointed out. “So, if you want him to notice you, we must work on your confidence.”
You groaned, already feeling embarrassed. “Kitty, this is so unnecessary.”
Kitty ignored you and stepped forward. “First lesson: Posture! Stand straight, shoulders back. Confidence comes from the way you carry yourself.”
You hesitated before adjusting yourself, trying to mimic the way she stood. “Like this?”
Kitty nodded. “Good. Now, when you see Jungwon, don’t look away all nervous. Hold eye contact. Make him feel like he’s the only person in the room.”
You gulped. “The only person in the room? Kitty, I can’t even look at him for three seconds without feeling like I’m about to pass out.”
She rolled her eyes. “That’s exactly why we’re practicing! Here, pretend I’m Jungwon.”
You stared at her. “Kitty, this is weird.”
“Do it!” she urged.
Taking a deep breath, you slowly raised your head, looking her in the eyes. You managed to hold it for two seconds before covering your face. “Nope. I can’t do this.”
Kitty groaned dramatically. “Okay, let’s try something else. Flirting! Sometimes, a little playful teasing can go a long way.”
You hesitated. “Like… what kind of teasing?”
Kitty smirked. “Try complimenting him, but make it sound casual. Like, ‘Wow, Jungwon, you look so good today.’”
You cringed. “That doesn’t sound casual at all.”
“It’s all about the tone!” Kitty explained. “Say it naturally, like you’re just making an observation.”
You sighed and cleared your throat, trying to sound confident. “Wow, Jungwon, you look so good today.”
Kitty immediately burst into laughter. “Why do you sound like a robot?”
You groaned and covered your face again. “I told you I’m bad at this!”
She patted your shoulder. “Okay, okay. Let’s try something easier…Oh! What about smiling? When you see him, could you give him a little smile? Not too big, not too small. Just a hint of a smile.”
You nodded and tried it. Kitty examined you for a second before shaking her head. “No. That looks scary.”
“Kitty!!”
“Okay, okay! Let’s just—oh wait, Jungwon’s coming!” Kitty suddenly grabbed your shoulders.
Your eyes widened in pure panic. “WHAT?!”
“Relax! Just do what we practiced!” she whispered urgently.
Jungwon walked past, glancing at the two of you. You froze utterly, your mind going blank. Then, at the last second, you remembered Kitty’s advice. You quickly straightened your posture and gave him a small smile… except you accidentally bared your teeth like an awkward grimace instead of a confident smile.
Jungwon slowed down slightly, his brows furrowing. “Uh… are you okay?”
‘’Pfft’’ Kitty covered her mouth, trying not to laugh.
You, wholly mortified, quickly turned away. “Yes! Totally fine! Just… stretching my face!”
Jungwon blinked, clearly confused, before nodding slowly and walking off.
The moment he was out of sight, you groaned, burying your face in your hands. “Kitty, I hate this.”
Kitty finally burst out laughing. “Okay, maybe that wasn’t your best moment, but hey! At least you tried!”
“I just embarrassed myself,” you muttered.
Kitty grinned. “Relax. Slow and steady wins the race. You’ll get there.”
You sighed, not entirely convinced, but Kitty’s encouragement made you feel slightly better. Maybe with time—and much more practice—you’d finally get the confidence you needed.
…Hopefully, before you died of embarrassment first.
💌
After your absolute disaster of a confidence practice session with Kitty, you decided there was only one solution.
Avoid Jungwon.
At all costs.
Your already massive crush on him had now turned into full-blown mortification. Every time you so much as thought about how you awkwardly bared your teeth at him, you wanted to disappear into the earth. So, naturally, when you spotted Jungwon walking down the hallway, you did what any logical person would do.
You grabbed the nearest person and used them as a human shield.
“Minho,” you hissed, ducking behind his tall frame.
Minho barely flinched while sipping on his collagen water. “Oi, what’s this then?” he drawled,
You gripped his shoulders. “I need to hide.”
Minho sighed, already used to your antics. “Lemme guess—Jungwon?”
You nodded frantically.
Minho shook his head but didn’t move. “You know, mate, you can’t keep running forever.”
“Yes, I can,” you whispered.
Unfortunately, fate had other plans.
“Minho,” Jungwon’s voice suddenly called out, catching your breath.
You peeked over Minho’s shoulder just in time to see Jungwon stopping before him, looking too good for your heart to handle.
Minho, unfazed, nodded in greeting. “Aye, mate. What’s up?”
Jungwon started talking to Minho about something you were too distracted to process. Because while he was addressing Minho, his eyes kept peeking over Minho’s shoulder—straight at you.
You immediately shrank further behind Minho.
Jungwon’s lips twitched slightly. “Hey,” he said, this time directed at you.
Your brain is short-circuited. Oh no. He’s talking to me. Abort mission. Abort mission.
Minho, ever the instigator, casually stepped to the side, exposing you completely.
You had no choice but to face Jungwon. “H-Hi,” you managed weakly.
Jungwon tilted his head slightly. “Are you hiding from me?”
“What? No! Pfft, that’s crazy,” you blurted out and laughed nervously.
Minho smirked and sipped his collagen water. “Yeah, mate, totally crazy.”
You kicked the back of Minho’s shoe.
Jungwon didn’t look entirely convinced but let it slide. “Alright,” he said before flicking his gaze back to Minho.
You thought you were in the clear—until you noticed that Jungwon kept glancing at you even as he continued his conversation with Minho. Every few seconds, his eyes would shift back to you.
It was subtle, but it was enough to make your stomach flip.
Then, as Minho made some joke in his relaxed drawl, Jungwon suddenly interrupted, his eyes locking on yours. “You don’t have to hide, you know,” he said softly.
Your heart stopped.
After thoroughly enjoying the situation, Minho took a long sip of his drink. “Oi, look at that, would ya? Some real tension here.”
You kicked him again.
Jungwon only smiled slightly before looking away as if he hadn’t just destroyed your ability to function.
And just like that, your plan to avoid him had backfired entirely.
You were so doomed.
💌
The sound of typing and the flick of pages turning was the soundtrack of your days lately. You had been buried in textbooks for what felt like forever. The stress had accumulated, leaving you exhausted. Your face was pale, and dark bags were under your eyes from the sleepless nights, but you couldn’t stop. You had to push through. A vast project was coming up, and you couldn’t afford to fail.
You propped your head up with one hand, barely able to keep your eyes open as you glanced over your notes. The words blurred, your mind already foggy from overworking. Before you knew it, your head dropped onto the table with a soft thud.
“Ugh…,” you mumbled as you fought to stay awake.
The door creaked open, and you heard the familiar sound of footsteps entering. Kitty’s voice followed soon after. “Hey, are you still at it?”
Jungwon’s calm tone responded, “She’s been studying for hours now. I don’t think she’s taking breaks.”
You groaned, too tired to even lift your head. The sounds of them approaching grew closer until you felt the soft pressure of someone standing beside you. You sighed and tried to sit up, but the weight of your exhaustion made it hard.
As you lifted your head, you saw Kitty’s shocked expression first. She gasped, her hand coming up to her mouth. “Oh my gosh! You look like you haven’t slept in days! Your face… it’s—”
You blinked slowly, too tired to defend yourself. “I’m fine,” you mumbled, attempting to give a smile, but it came out weak and crooked.
Kitty’s eyes softened with concern. “You need to take a break. Look at those bags under your eyes. Are you even eating right?”
Before you could reply, you heard Jungwon’s voice. “There’s nothing wrong with your face,” he said unbothered. He bent down to your level. “You’re still pretty, even with all that stress.”
The compliment caught you off guard. You couldn’t help but blush despite how exhausted you were. “W-well, thank you…” you stammered, a little embarrassed.
Kitty rolled her eyes playfully. “See, Jungwon knows what to say! But seriously, you need to rest.” She crossed her arms, and her frown replaced her concern. “This is way too much. You’re going to burn yourself out at this rate.”
Jungwon nodded slightly. “Kitty’s right. You won’t get far if you can’t even stay awake.”
You sighed, both too tired and too embarrassed to argue. “I… I need to finish this.”
Kitty leaned closer and whispered as if sharing a secret, “How about I help you get this done faster? You can relax, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
You blinked slowly, still too drained to think straight. “Are you sure?”
She smirked. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this. You need to close your eyes for a bit.”
Jungwon shot you a small and reassuring smile. “Take a break, okay? You don’t want to make yourself sick over this.”
You hesitated momentarily before nodding, grateful for their support even if you still felt guilty. You slid down in your chair, resting your head against the backrest and briefly closing your eyes.
Kitty moved to your side, pulling out her phone to check her messages. Jungwon stayed silent nearby, giving you an almost protective glance as you rested.
“Good. Now, take a nap. No more studying for the rest of the day,” Kitty said with a smile as she gave you the space to rest.
You breathed a sigh of relief and closed your eyes, hoping the rest would help ease the weight of the world you’d been carrying.
💌
You sat quietly on a chair, Minho beside you, applying your skincare. He had been your skincare mentor for a while, helping you with all the little tricks you needed. “Alright, make sure you really press it in,” Minho said, gently patting the moisturizer into your skin.
“I don’t know if I���ll ever do it as well as you,” you murmured. “But thanks for teaching me.”
Minho smiled. “Of course. You’re a fast learner,” he said, dabbing the cream across your cheek. “Maybe you should start your skincare vlog or something.”
You chuckled softly, “I’d probably mess it up on camera.”
Minho shook his head and let out a grin. “You’d be perfect. Trust me.”
You both laughed; the room felt safe. There was no pressure, no expectations, just good company. Then the door creaked open, and you looked up. Jungwon stepped in, looking casual, but something about his presence made the atmosphere feel different…tense, almost.
Minho waved at him, still oblivious to the sudden shift. “Hey, Jungwon! Just helping out with her skincare. You should join us.”
You froze for a moment, catching Jungwon’s eyes. Your heart skipped a beat, but you quickly looked away, too shy to hold his eyes for long.
Jungwon’s lips twitched in an almost a frown. “I’m good,” he said; his eyes were focused on you and Minho, how you both were laughing and talking comfortably.
Minho, clearly unaware of the undercurrent between the three of you, laughed again. “You sure? I think I’m pretty much a skincare pro now.” He gently patted your cheek again, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly.
You noticed Jungwon kept looking at your face, then back to Minho’s hand. There was a slight tension in his posture now. His arms were still crossed, and his eyes had narrowed just a little. “I think she’s got it covered,” Jungwon’s voice a little colder. “You’re always helping her with something.”
You looked down, trying to avoid his gaze as his words were uncomfortably in the air. Your heart beat faster than usual, and you were too shy to respond. Why was it that whenever Jungwon was around, you lost all ability to act normal?
Minho didn’t seem to notice anything wrong. “What can I say? I’m just a helpful guy,” he replied with a wink.
Jungwon’s eyes flickered between the two of you. He uncrossed his arms and took a step closer. “Well, maybe she doesn’t need that much help,” he said, a little irritated. His tone wasn’t even harsh.
You flinched slightly, but you didn’t say anything. You just sat there, hoping the ground would swallow you whole.
Minho noticed the shift. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop making her feel like a project,” he teased, though it was clear he was a little confused by Jungwon’s sudden change in attitude. “I was just trying to be helpful.”
You bit your lip, feeling the awkward silence settle over the room. Jungwon didn’t respond immediately; they just looked at you for a beat longer than necessary. Then he exhaled and glanced at the door. “You should probably get some rest,” Jungwon said softer now. “It’s late.”
You nodded quickly. Unsure of what to say. “Right, I’ll—uh, I’ll head to bed.”
Minho, still oblivious, smiled. “Get some sleep. We’ll finish up tomorrow.”
You nodded again, glancing briefly at Jungwon as you left. Jungwon’s voice stopped you before you could walk out. “You’re… you’re fine, right?”
The question caught you off guard. You hesitated. “I’m fine,” you replied quietly while avoiding his gaze.
He nodded, then gave you an unreadable smile. “Okay,” he said before turning back to Minho.
You walked out of the room quickly,
Was that… jealousy?
That’s impossible.
💌
“You have to wear this,” Kitty declared, holding up a dress that made your stomach tense.
“Kitty, no.”
“Kitty, yes.”
You glared at her through the mirror, but she just grinned as she shoved the outfit into your hands. “Trust me,” she said. “Jungwon won’t be able to take his eyes off you.”
You swallowed hard at the thought. Jungwon. Seeing you. In this.
It wasn’t like you hadn’t dressed up before, but this outfit felt… different. More intentional. It's more like you were trying to get his attention.
Which, okay, you were, but still—
Kitty snapped her fingers in front of your face. “No overthinking! Just wear it. Come on, it’s a party! You’re supposed to look hot.”
You groaned but ultimately let her win (not that you ever had a choice).
By the time you were ready, you were nervous to the point that you needed to go to the restroom for a second. Your reflection in the mirror was almost unrecognizable. Kitty had curled your hair and given you subtle but effective makeup; the outfit made you feel… good.
“You look amazing,” Kitty whispered and squeezed your shoulders. “Now go show Jungwon what he’s missing.”
You rolled your eyes but smiled. You felt a little bit braver as you followed her out.
The party was in full swing by the time you arrived. You weren’t even inside for a full minute before you felt the weight of someone’s eyes on you.
And when you turned—
There he was.
Jungwon.
Standing across the room, eyes locked on you with a similar unreadable expression on his face. For a moment, neither of you moved. The world around you blurred, and all you could focus on was how his eyes slowly traveled over you before he looked away.
Kitty, standing beside you, definitely noticed.
“Oh,” she whispered and nudged you with her elbow. “He so noticed.”
You felt your face heat up.
Jungwon, however, had turned away, disappearing into the crowd before you could react.
The party was energetic, but you barely registered anything. Kitty had practically forced you into this dress, hyping you up, fixing your hair, and making you promise you wouldn’t shrink away if Jungwon talked to you.
But here he was—talking to you—and you were about two seconds from running.
“You look different.”
You looked up at him with your fingers gripping your cup tighter.
“What?”
His gaze was enough to make you feel self-conscious.
“You don’t usually dress like this,” he said.
You swallowed. “Oh. Yeah. Kitty—”
“Makes sense.”
Your brows furrowed. “What does that mean?”
Jungwon took a sip of his drink and then met your gaze again.
“It means you look pretty.”
If that makes sense, your brain wholly short-circuited, and you felt like your stomach was twisting again.
You needed to escape.
But the second you tried to move, a gentle hand wrapped around your wrist.
“Don’t run away,” Jungwon said softly.
You froze.
His grip wasn’t tight or forceful—just enough to hold you there, to make you look at him.
“You always do that,” he murmured.
Your throat went dry.
Jungwon tilted his head slightly, “You’re always avoiding me,” he continued, “but then you’re always looking.”
Your breath hitched.
Jungwon let out a chuckle. Then, most casually, like he wasn’t wholly messing with your heart, he said—
“You don’t have to run. I don’t mind if you stay.”
You weren’t used to this—at least not with him.
“Hey,” Jungwon’s voice was quiet, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
You were processing his words slowly. You had been avoiding him for so long, not because you didn’t like him, but because the thought of being close to him made your heart skip beats. And now, here he was, standing so close,
“I’m okay,” you mumbled, shifting your gaze anywhere but him. The more you looked at him, the more your stomach flipped.
Jungwon’s hand fell to his side. He gave you a little space, but not enough to make you feel like he was giving up. You could tell that he wasn’t the type to give up easily. “I didn’t mean to crowd you,” he continued, understanding. “I… wanted to hang out, y’know?”
You nodded slowly, still unsure how to move past the awkward tension that had settled between you two. It was strange, feeling so seen yet so exposed. “Okay.” You took a deep breath. “I… I’m not good with all of this yet.”
Jungwon smiled at that. He didn’t push, didn’t pressure. Instead, he took a small step back, keeping a respectful distance but maintaining that comforting presence. “I get it,” he said. “But if you ever want to talk or hang out, I’m here. No rush.” He let the words hang in the air. He is willing to wait until you are ready.
You finally allowed your eyes to meet his, “Thanks,” you whispered, feeling a warmth in your chest that wasn’t just from the proximity but from the simple kindness he showed you. He wasn’t asking for more than your comfort, making everything more manageable.
“You know,” Jungwon added, “you don’t have to hide behind Minho all the time.”
You stiffened at that, but he didn’t look at you teasingly. He was stating a fact.
Your heart fluttered.
“Well, he’s taller than me,” you mumbled, trying to brush off the awkwardness.
Jungwon chuckled.
And for once, the thought of being close to Jungwon didn’t make your heart race in fear. It made it race in something else.
Something a little more hopeful.
💌
The group had decided to take a little break from basically everything that happened, and everyone was now scattered across the dorm’s common area. Kitty and Minho were sitting on the couch, though something was different. Minho had his arm casually draped over the back of the sofa, and Kitty leaned slightly toward him, her attention entirely on whatever they were discussing.
You couldn’t help but watch, caught up in the dynamic between them. It was so apparent that they were getting close. Too close, really. You glanced at them for a few seconds longer than you probably should have, a little uncomfortable with how natural they looked together, especially considering the little tension between them.
You shook your head and sighed. “Those two should just get together already,” you muttered. “It’s painful to watch.” You didn’t even realize you had said it aloud until Jungwon, standing nearby, chuckled softly.
“You seem to be invested in their situation. ”
You froze and blushed immediately. “What? No! I—” You stammered. “It’s awkward, you know? With everything going on with Yuri and all that. It’d be easier if they just figured it out.”
Jungwon raised an eyebrow. “You sure? Sounds like you’re a little too invested,” his smirk growing.
You looked away quickly. “I’m not. I think… it’s obvious, don’t you think?”
Jungwon leaned back. “Hm. Interesting. You know, Kitty might take that as a challenge. She likes playing matchmaker.” He paused, glancing at the two on the couch before returning to you. “But then again, maybe it’s you who should be matched with someone.”
Your heart skipped a beat, and you shot a look at him, trying to keep your cool. “What are you talking about?” You weren’t sure if you were ready for whatever joke or comment he was about to make.
With a shrug. “I don’t know… It’d be painful to watch you and me, right?”
You were trying to make sense of his words. Was he joking? Was he serious?
Before you could respond, Jungwon gave you a playful smile. “Well, maybe not. We’re not so bad, right?” His eyes seemed to challenge you to call him out on it.
You couldn’t stop the nervous laugh that escaped your lips. “I… I don’t know what you mean,” you said quickly. Your thoughts felt muddled, and your stomach flipped in a way you weren’t quite ready to admit.
Jungwon leaned closer just a little. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ll figure out what’s happening between you and… well, someone, someday.”
The way he said that last part made your heart flutter, and before you could think too much about it, you quickly stood up, awkwardly brushing past him to talk to Dae. You couldn’t handle being near him anymore, not with his strange comment.
💌
It had been one of those nights where everything felt like it was building up to something. The group had decided to sneak out, and of course, Kitty had the whole thing planned out. Again. She was determined to get you and Jungwon alone for a little confession moment, even if it meant dragging everyone else into a mini adventure. The plan was simple: sneak out to the park for a midnight stroll.
The group managed to sneak out without much trouble, or so they thought. Kitty was already ahead, while Minho, Q, Dae, and Yuri followed, all too eager to escape their studies. You padded behind them. But suddenly, just as you were about to turn the corner toward the door, you heard footsteps approaching from the hallway.
“Someone’s coming!” you hissed and panic started rising in your chest. You froze, unsure of what to do, until a pair of warm hands quickly grabbed you from behind, pulling you into the nearest room and closing the door softly.
You looked up to see Jungwon standing there. His gaze was serious momentarily before it softened into that usual mischievous smile. “Close call,” he whispered.
You sighed in relief but your heart was still pounding from the adrenaline. “I didn’t think it would be this hard to sneak out,” you muttered.
Jungwon stepped closer, and the space between you grew smaller. “Kitty really knows how to get us into trouble, doesn’t she?” he smiled gently.
You laughed nervously. “She’s persistent, I’ll give her that. I don’t know how she does it.” You couldn’t help but glance down. “I should probably—” you began to mumble but Jungwon interrupted you
“You don’t have to run away this time,” he murmured and you felt his thumb gently brushing your cheek. “You can stay with me.”
Your heart skipped a beat at the words, and before you could even process their whole meaning, Jungwon leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in the softest, most gentle kiss you’d ever experienced. The world seemed to stop for a moment.
You stood there, frozen, your eyes wide in shock as Jungwon pulled back slightly, but only enough to look at you with a tender look, “You were going to say something, right?” Jungwon whispered
You were unable to form words. You couldn’t find anything to say except for the obvious truth that had been sitting in your chest for so long. “I… I’ve liked you for a while,” you finally admitted in a whisper. “I didn’t know how to say it. I didn’t think you’d… feel the same.”
Jungwon smiled and leaned his forehead against yours. “I feel the same,” he said softly. “I’ve been trying to find the right moment to tell you… but I guess this is as good a time as any.”
You smiled as you leaned into him, both chuckling in silence. For the first time, it felt like the weight had been lifted, and everything had finally fallen into place.
💌
The next day, you and Jungwon walked through campus hand in hand. You didn’t care about the curious glances or whispers around you. Everything felt so natural now. Jungwon’s thumb gently brushed against your hand, and you couldn’t help but smile at the small but significant change in your relationship.
As you turned the corner, you spotted Kitty and Q sitting at their usual spot by the fountain. They looked up at you two simultaneously, eyes widening in shock as they saw your hands intertwined. Kitty’s face immediately broke into a smile, while Q’s jaw dropped slightly. “Oh my god!” Kitty squealed with her voice a few octaves higher than usual as she stood up quickly. “It’s official! You two are—?”
You giggled and nodded. “Yep, it’s real. Took us a while, but we finally figured it out.”
Q was still in shock and blinked a few times before recovering. “Wait, is this the part where you two act all coy about it?” he teased.
Jungwon chuckled and shrugged slightly as he looked down at you with an affectionate gaze. “Guess so,” he said casually. “But it feels good. Finally.”
Kitty, her excitement never waning, jumped up and clapped her hands together. “I knew it! I knew you two would be perfect for each other. I mean, come on, how could you not be?”
You smiled as you felt a little shy under all their attention. “Yeah, well, it’s thanks to Kitty here,” you said, turning toward her with a grateful look. “She practically forced us to get our act together.”
Kitty just shrugged. “Hey, someone had to step in. You two were taking forever.”
You then decided to have a little fun with Q. Turning to him with a smirk; you said, “Oh, and by the way, Q, now that we’re all on the same page… maybe it’s time you and Jin finally get together.”
Kitty gasped, and Q’s face immediately turned beet red. “I—what? No! That’s—no!” he sputtered
Jungwon raised an eyebrow. “You know, I’ve noticed that too. You and Jin make a good pair,” he said honestly.
Q looked like he was about to explode, “I hate him!” he said. “You better not tell Jin I said that.”
You chuckled at his reaction. “Oh, don’t worry. We won’t say a thing… for now.”
Still practically bouncing with excitement, Kitty turned to Jungwon with a warm smile. “Okay, I’ll take the credit for this one,” she said with a wink. “But I’m happy you two finally figured it out.”
Jungwon gave Kitty a genuine look, squeezing your hand as he thanked her. “Honestly, thank you, Kitty. You really did help us get here.”
Kitty’s face softened and she laughed lightly. “Of course! I’m just happy to see you two so happy together.”
At that moment, everything felt perfect. You were with Jungwon and were surrounded by friends who were happy for you. It felt like the start of something new and beautiful, and you couldn’t help but feel grateful for everything that had led up to this moment. “Alright, alright,” you said, leaning into Jungwon as you all settled back down to enjoy the rest of the day. “Let’s just say that Kitty’s matchmaking skills are unmatched.”
Kitty shot you a wink. “Told you.”
And for the first time in a long time, you felt like everything was finally falling into place.
#enha jungwon#enhypen fanfics#enhypen ff#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#jungwon x reader#jungwon ff#jungwon x y/n#enhypen jungwon#enhypen x female reader#yang jungwon x you#yang jungwon x reader#yang jungwon x y/n#jungwon x you#jungwon imagines#jungwon scenarios#reader x jungwon#yang jungwon#enhypen x you#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#enha x reader#jungwon#jungwon enha#jungwon enhypen#jungwon fluff#yang jungwon fluff#yang jungwon angst#jungwon angst#jungwon fanfic
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do you not write for ambessa 👉🏻👈🏻? cuz your sevika headcanons are *chef’s kiss*
𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒
WARNINGS: 18+, sexual content, implied voyeurism, body worship, oral, slapping, spanking, dacryphilia, implied age gap, slave/master if you squint, wlw!
from roselí. ᡣ𐭩 : prayers have been answered ^^
SFW
Come, come. Let's talk about it.
I don't think Ambessa strikes anyone as a lovely kind of person. Yes, she is incredibly charismatic, and might even be the love-bombing type, but Ambessa seems to clearly reserve "love" for those closest to her. Well, her version of it anyway.
She won't just walk around with her heart on her shoulder, she's a warrior for hell's sake. And we're all familiar with her opinions on becoming weak at the hands of love.
If you've managed to genuinely catch Ambessa's interest-- not just for her personal gain or a quick fuck-- then you've got a headache coming your way. Like, a migraine.
I want to really emphasize the love bombing because regardless of whether Ambessa is aware of it or not, the relationship will feel this way for a long time. There's a pattern. She's affectionate one day; showering you with praises and soft kisses, sunrise to sunset. You'll have to want for nothing. Gifts and trips, all treated to you by hers truly. Wining and dining, a good fuck. And though all of this is displayed in private, you'll be enamored. Which is exactly what she wants you to be.
And then, she'll be cold and standoffish. Uncaring of your presence or too busy to be bothered. When Ambessa handles business, there's no such thing as making time for you. You'll just have to pacify yourself until she's ready to be bothered with you again.
It'll take you a while to realize, but when you do you can't miss it; she's got an avoidant attachment. She wants to love you and to be loved, but the moment she receives it she's pulling away. She's looking for flaws in you, anything that'll convince herself that you're bad for her, to leave you where she found you.
Constantly creating exit strategies, thinking of petty little arguments to start for no reason, or an insecurity of yours to pick at. She was trained to fight, it's her strong suit in any sense. It's always easier for her to disconnect and dismiss her feelings than to just sit and talk it out. And you'll want nothing to do with her, which is also what she wants.
She just be losing the plot, I fear.
Unfortunately, cycles like this take time to break. Fortunately, she's not going to let you leave! So you have all the time in the world! <3
When you bring this to her knowledge, you'll really have to bring it. Sit her down and let her know she's not moving until she's heard every word that leaves your mouth, wagging a painted finger in her face. And she'll humor you because you've managed to make an impression with her.
She will sit, patiently and leisurely, man spread and all, watching you fuss her out throwing your hands every which way and yelling. And she will have the softest, fondest smile on her face. She'll know you love her at this moment.
She will let you say your piece without interruptions. In fact, she's so quiet that you have to question if she's even listening a few times. And when you catch sight of that little smile you just pause, dumbfounded. And she'll just humor your expression, urging you to continue with a curt wave of her hand.
After this occasion, Ambessa will be relentless. In her mind, anyone willing to fuss her out the way that you have must truly love her. So now, she knows no limits. In the past, Ambessa would have you stay put with some guards while she handled her day-to-day tasks. But now? You tag along with her everywhere.
In meetings, Ambessa has you perched on her lap. Touching you mindlessly as she discusses possible strategies and looks over speeches. Rubbing your thighs, your neck, your arms. You'll find it awkward at first--such a public display of affection-- but you'll have no choice but to get used to it.
She's hand-feeding you everything. Holding your cups to your lips, licking frosting off your mouth. It's a starch contrast to the dynamic your relationship used to have. But, you suppose you shouldn't be surprised at her shamelessness, she's always been a bit... eccentric.
And now, you don't even have to ask her to share her feelings, in fact, you have to tell her that some things are a little TMI because she wants to share everything with you. Everything. EVERYTHING.
Secrets don't exist, she's an open book. Whatever's on her mind, you're going to hear about it. Which in most cases, you can appreciate. She'll open up about her past and all of the things that have led her up to this point. She'll speak of her daughter, Mel, expressing a regret that she's never opened up to her about. And she'll talk about the effects you have on her personally.
These moments are heartwarming, cause it solidifies your bond.
Undoubtably, Ambessa is a very possessive woman. She's very adamant about expressing to everyone that you belong to her. Not necessarily in a verbal sense, but people will know. They'll know when they see the lingering touches she leaves, the elongated glances, the kisses. Again she's very shameless, so don't let these things take you by surprise.
She's also very protective. She does like to have you tag along with her everywhere, but every now and then she'll leave you with Rictus while she goes to handle more trying situations. You know, the ones where she may potentially commit a war crime or two.
She'd much rather you be locked away than have to protect you on the battlefield. Though she's positive you know of her capabilities, she wouldn't like to have you see her in that light regardless. She'll go to great, violent, bloody lengths to keep you safe.
Besides her shameless physical touch, Ambessa likes to show her love with flashy gifts and large bouquets of flowers. She likes to collect things from all the places she's been to gift to you; know that every time she's out, she thinks of what you might like to have.
She also likes to share knowledge. She finds that to be one of the biggest displays of love; sharing one's knowledge of the world and life. Things you can can learn from. She will really appreciate and admire the fact that you look up to her as a mentor, and especially loves it when you ask for her opinion or perspective. It shows that you rely on her.
And she likes to be relied on!
She has a tendency to just walk around naked, and not for any particular reason other than the fact that it’s, “Comfortable, sweet thing.” It doesn’t matter what time of the day it is, if she has leisure time to waste, she’ll be naked. And she likes to be watched; “I worked hard for this body, honey..” She’ll say, flexing her arms at you.
She takes great pride in her form and in her strength. She likes to lift you up randomly just to showcase it. She’ll always pick you up when she hugs you, gripping your thighs loosely or not at all. You could honestly just hang onto her, dropping all of your weight. It wouldn’t make a difference.
She never fails to fluster you at any given chance. Every time you’re having a conversation she’s holding the strongest eye contact, chuckling to herself when you avoid her gaze. She'll randomly grip your chin, or caress your face. Sometimes twirling the hair by your ears. She likes to see you get all flustered because of her. It genuinely makes her day. That's why she does it so much.
She's old! Lol, you'll have to keep her updated with the new slang and terms of endearment. If you're someone who incorporates a lot of slang into your vocabulary, you'll often receive sideways glances of confusion before she stares at you and mutters, "...What?"
NSFW
I’m going to say it again; she’s shameless.
She has no qualms. Like, at all.
She loves to put on a show. She loves to be ogled at, it strokes her— already large enough— ego. More often than not, she’ll shove you down onto the bed, and with a calculated slowness, she’ll begin to undress, maintaining eye contact with you throughout. Her eyes always smoldering with a mix of passion and a touch of dominance.
And she’ll study you closely for your reaction, loving the look of pure awe on your face as she stands nude before you. Her voice, a low and husky murmur, would echo through the room, "See something you like, my dear?" and she’ll hum in approval at the soft, “Yes, Ma’am” she receives in return.
Ambessa appreciates a well mannered slut.
Most times, Ambessa will request that you massage her, all over. She loves it; It fulfills her desire to be worshipped. She loves to watch you take your time and rub every part of her, smirking down at you as you get lower and lower.
Ambessa will lean back slightly, her expression transitioning into a devilish smirk. Her free hand slowly tracing a path along the contours of your body. She watches you like a hawk, a smirk ever present on her lips.
When you start to kiss down her body a contented sigh will escape her lips. She’ll run her fingers through your hair, gently but firmly guiding your movements. Her head will tilt back, her eyes half-lidded with satisfaction. Each touch, each kiss, draws out a low and guttural sound from her throat, her desire evident in the way her body responds to your ministrations.
And the hand in your hair will tighten as she shoves your face in between her legs, a knowing glint in her eyes, “You know what to do.” And her body tenses as you start to eat her pussy, the hand in your hair tightening almost painfully as she groans.
She requires eye contact; she wants you to watch her come undone on your mouth. It’s like a reward, no? Watching the effect you have on her. She wouldn’t want you to miss the way she leans her head back, her hips rutting against your tongue at a steady pace, glancing down at you as she murmurs, “Good girl.”
And she won’t miss the hand that you trail down to your pussy, toying with yourself impatiently. A leisurely chuckle will fall from her lips, “Patience, Darling.” She’ll always say, pulling your hair to angle your head just right so she can fuck your face better. “Patience.”
And soon her breathing will turn shallow, Ambessa's grip on your hair impossibly intensifying, her fingers tangling in your locks as she guides your movements. Her control momentarily slips as she succumbs to the pleasure you're giving her.
And when she cums? She’ll pull your head back playing idly with the mess on your face, “Tsk… now you’re all dirty,” She’ll mutter, before leaning down and licking it off your chin. She’ll meet your lips in a sloppy mess of a kiss, groaning softly at the taste. And when she pulls back she’ll admire the look on your face, taking a mental photo of it. “Pretty…”
I think Ambessa would have a thing for teasing you. She likes to put you in uncomfortable positions. Make you put yourself on display in risky places. Loves touching you under tables. It just warms her core to see you so flustered, really riles her up. Especially so if you start crying, she’ll just squeeze your cheeks in her hand and snicker at you, “Ohhhh, you poor thing,” She’ll chuckle, and peck your puckered lips.
I already mentioned that Ambessa loves it when you’re well-mannered, it’ll quite literally get you anything your heart desires. You ask her nicely to make up cum? She’ll do it in a heartbeat. “With my mouth, or with my hands?” She’ll raise a brow, “Or with something else?” You use your manners with Ambessa like a good girl and she’ll be at your beck and call.
Laying you on your stomach softly to pull your ass in the air and eating your pussy until you squirt all over her mouth, and she won’t let a drop go to waste. She’ll trail her thick tongue from your clit all the way to your ass and back, over and over and over, circling the hole playfully before spitting onto it, the spit trailing back down. It’s truly a beautiful sight, she thinks.
Do you want her to fuck you with her fingers? They’re thick. You’ll hardly need two of them to satiate that churning in your core. Perhaps you want a massage of your own? Want her to suck on your pretty feet? Maybe you want her to talk you through your orgasm and praise you softly in your ear while you cum on her fingers? Everything all at once? No request is too far for Ambessa. She likes to worship her pretty thing; and loves to appreciate your body. Especially when it’s well deserved.
But when you’re ill mannered? Ambessa will show you exactly how she became a warlord.
Don’t expect any pleasure from this outcome. It’ll be hard. It’ll be brutal. And you’ll wish you’d never mouthed off at her the way you did. “What did we learn?” She’ll growl, above you, slapping your ass with a powerful force, “Quickly.” She’ll order.
And she’ll hum as you blubber loudly about being respectful, but her abuse will not stop. She will continue to keep you over her knee, slapping at your ass and thighs relentlessly. And when she’s done with that? She’ll have you on your knees, facing up at her with your hands folded politely over your lap. And you’d better pay extra attention to your posture or she’ll punish you for that too.
You’re never prepared for the swat to your cheek. “What are we not doing in the future?” She won’t falter at the cry that leaves your mouth, her gaze stone-cold and unwavering. She’ll swat your cheek again, slap, “I said, quickly.” And again, she won’t be moved by your blubbering until she’s satisfied-- until she believes you’ve learned a lesson.
And she’ll always be sure to pacify you until you’ve calmed down, offering you water and comfort, but still being stern enough that you remember your place the next time around. She’ll be sure to build you up just as she’s broken you down, affirming you gently. And you’ll fall back into her, blubbering your apologies.
She’ll conceal a smirk.
She loves to see you cry.
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#ambessa#ambessa medarda#ambessa arcane#ambessa x reader#ambessa smut#lesbian#wlw#arcane#arcane headcanon#arcane league of legends#league of legends#arcane x reader#ao3#mother speaks
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light of the morning
in which spencer sneaks into bau!reader's hotel room and they share a little more than just the bed
18+ (smut) warnings/tags: softdom!spence x sub reader, munch!spence, unprotected piv sex (dont do that), creampie (hate that word btw) praise, mentions of having to be quiet because morgan is right next door LOL, fluffy, established co-workers/friends with benefits, soooo idiots in love a/n: here is the promised smut. i am literally kicking my feet and twirling my hair and giggling and blushing at my own writing. I'm gonna have a freak out. requests are open like my legs
It’s late when the knock finally comes. Late enough that you’re dozing on the bed above the covers.
It takes you a moment to reorient yourself—you’re rubbing your heavy eyes when you finally get the door.
"Hi."
"Hey," says Spencer, hands awkwardly shoved into his pajama pants pockets. It’s funny, really. He never gets any better at this.
You step aside and he enters the room, looking around as you close and relock the door.
"Did I wake you?"
"How could you tell?"
"You’re in pajamas. And you look tired. I mean—you don’t look bad. You never look bad, I just meant… you don’t look tired but you’re not—I didn’t mean to—"
"Relax," you yawn, putting him out of his misery. "I was joking. I know I look tired." You glance at the digital clock on the nightstand. "It’s late. We have to be up early tomorrow."
"Yeah, I got, uh, sidetracked. Sorry."
He was reading. If it was anyone else, you'd be offended--but a sinkhole could open up under Spencer's feet and he probably wouldn't notice if he was absorbed in a book.
You shrug, a knowing smile lifting the corner of your mouth.
"It’s fine. But I don’t know if tonight is a good night. I really am exhausted."
His eyebrows dart up.
"That’s fine. That’s totally fine. I’ll just, uh—"
When you don’t move from in front of the door, he pauses, unsure. You bite the inside of your cheek, studying his rangy frame and choice of clothing. Blue pajama pants, slippers, grey CalTech zip up hoodie. It feels wrong to describe a 6'1 man as adorable, but that’s how he looks in his sleep clothes. There’s a very real chance, you find yourself thinking, that you are the only member of the BAU to ever see him in something other than slacks and a button-down. He looks so cozy that you kind of really want him in your bed even if he’s not doing anything but sleeping. The invitation slips out before you can think too hard about it.
"You could… stay, anyway, if you want?"
His mouth parts slightly, and those eyebrows raise again. There’s a moment of awkward silence and you are very much beginning to regret your offer, wondering if you somehow violated the sanctity of your co-workers/friends with benefits situtationship. Clumsily you try to backtrack.
"Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, you can—"
"No, no! You didn’t, I just don’t want you to feel obligated to invite me to stay in your room. I’m right across the hall, I can go back if you want me to."
You smile awkwardly, silent relief replacing the brief anxiety.
"It’s fine. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before." And not like you wouldn’t have ended up doing it tonight anyway, if things had gone as originally intended.
He chuckles, looking to the floor and nodding. The blush on his face does not go unnoticed by you. "Fair enough."
It’s incredibly endearing how nervous he still gets after six months of this little arrangement.
"Do you wanna get your stuff, or…"
"No, that’s okay. I’ll just go back early tomorrow. The chances of someone seeing me leave your room are significantly higher if I do it so soon after entering."
You squint, unable to tell if he’s fucking with you or if that’s an actual statistically sound probability. And then you realize, blissfully, that you don’t really care.
"Okay, well. Make yourself comfortable. I’m just going to brush my teeth."
Once you’re enclosed in the bathroom, hotel vanity lights blinding you as you brush, you find that there is a jittery sort of apprehension buzzing in your chest. But that’s silly. As you yourself pointed out, the two of you have shared a bed many times over the past few months. But the sleeping together is always a byproduct of the sleeping together. Never have you shared a bed in a completely decent, virtuous, strictly non-sexual manner. It’s always been a matter of convenience—less bother if he doesn’t have to worry about sneaking back into his room in the middle of the night when you’re both exhausted. Or maybe that’s just what you’ve been telling yourselves.
You rinse your mouth out and exit the bathroom, flicking off the light and finding that Spencer has indeed made himself comfortable. The hotel room is dark and he’s already under the covers, fiddling with his phone.
"What time should I set the alarm for?" He asks, looking over at you as you crawl into bed, drawing the covers over yourself. "I was thinking 6:23. That should give me enough time to—"
"Sounds perfect," you affirm, wiggling under the blanket as you get comfortable. He schedules the alarm and sets his phone on the bedside table, dousing the room in complete darkness. Your eyes stay open despite, waiting for them to adjust. A few moments of utter silence and stillness pass, and you can tell Spencer is completely stiff next to you.
"Spencer."
“Yeah,” he answers immediately. Like he’s even more wired about this whole situation than you are.
"You know you don’t have to avoid touching me at all costs, right? I’m not a leper."
He looses a nervous laugh.
"I know. We’ve just never really done this."
You frown at the darkness.
"We’ve definitely slept in the same bed before."
"Yeah, but… this feels different."
That, you can’t argue with. Can friends with benefits share a bed just to be near each other? Does that blur some line? And why does it feel more intimate than the sex?
Screw it. If there is one thing you don’t want your relationship with Spencer to be, it is uncomfortable. Uncertain, you can work with. But not uncomfortable. You reach for him, hand sliding under the duvet—and find his hand already waiting for yours.
"I don’t think it’s that different," you lie, interlacing your fingers together slowly.
"Prolonged physical non-sexual contact does have measurable health benefits…" the words are murmured, like the moment is fragile and he doesn’t want to shatter it.
"Can’t argue with the facts," you breathe, trying to modulate the shakiness of your voice. But you have a feeling you’re doing about as good of a job at concealing your nerves as he is. He shifts.
"Can I…"
"Yeah."
Your heart is pounding as he slips one arm under your neck and the other around your waist, pulling you close. Instinctually you curl into him, slinging your top leg over him as you’ve done before, but always dismissed as post-sex brain chemicals making you feel all warm and fuzzy. A neurological reaction that is so solidly scientific, neither of you ever questioned it. But it feels bigger now.
He exhales as you settle against each other—a sound of relief that mirrors your own. He’s so warm, so safe as he envelops you, physically and sensorially. In such close proximity, so clear-headed, you notice each layer of his scent. Toothpaste, lavender, vetiver, detergent. You sort of feel like a creep, but you can’t deny how comforting it is. Nor can you deny the pirouette your heart does when he begins minutely rubbing your back, like he’s not even thinking about it.
"Goodnight," you whisper into his shirt.
"Goodnight," he whispers back.
You fall asleep pretty quickly after that.
------------------------------
It’s unclear what wakes you up—maybe it’s the blue-grey dawn light filtering in through the filthy window (doubtful, it’s still mostly dark) or maybe it’s the blinking green digital clock on the nightstand. 5:02 AM. Your alarm will go off in an hour and 21 minutes.
Sometime in the night you shifted, turning over in your sleep, but Spencer is still holding you close. The arm slung so casually over your waist is slightly domineering, but you manage to rotate again and face him once more. Mere inches away from his face you can see every detail. His expression is so peaceful, it makes your heart ache.
But you’re just friends.
Perhaps he felt you moving, because his eyes flutter open and you watch as they flood with consciousness. He takes you in, takes in his arm over your waist. For a split second you’re nervous he’ll pull away.
"What time is it?" His voice is scratchy with sleep.
"Five."
"Why are you awake? We have over an hour til the alarm goes off."
"Sometimes waking up early is okay."
His eyes flicker between your own, and momentarily you’re paralyzed as you realize this is a limbo state for the two of you in which you’ve never operated. You don’t know what’s acceptable. You don’t know what to do. Being close to him feels so good, that the idea of separating hurts. But you don’t want to make him uncomfortable, or—
He leans forward and kisses you softly. In the blue light of dawn, rather than frenzied and hidden in the dark, a desperate tear of clothes and teeth and hands—it’s almost freeing. All the anxiety you were feeling just seconds ago begins to melt.
Friends.
"You looked anxious," is his whispered answer after he pulls away a moment later, like a kiss is the simplest remedy in the world. He brushes a lock of hair behind your ear. "We should go back to sleep."
"I don’t want to go back to sleep."
The corner of his mouth twitches as he studies you.
"No? What do you want?"
Emboldened by your mutual indiscretion, it’s your turn to kiss him. You feel him smile against your lips, hand finding the back of your neck and raking up through your hair to pull you closer.
The delirium of sleep seems to have softened you, filed down the rough edges of your boundaries and kicked away the lines in the sand. What’s a kiss or two when you’ve just woken up? A small, innocuous display of affection while you’re still barely conscious. Nobody could fault either of you for that. People don’t think clearly when they’ve just been asleep.
So what if your lips part against his, and his other hand finds its way under your shirt to stroke the bare skin of your waist and hips? So what if you hitch that leg over him again and press closer?
Spencer breaks the kiss, still ghosting over your lips.
"I thought it wasn’t a good night?"
"It’s not night time anymore, is it, genius?"
You sneak another kiss, nipping his bottom lip gently as you pull away.
Instead of whatever array of responses you were expecting, Spencer smiles slightly, eyes almost sparkling in the faint light. The hand on your hip moves to your face, gently thumbing across your cheek. He begins to say something, and stops himself—biting his lip to hold back the words.
"What?" you ask, heart dropping. Illusion fracturing.
"I was just—" he begins, pausing for a moment before the words all come out in a rush. "I was just going to tell you how beautiful you are, but I don’t know if that’s something I should say, or if it would feel too… I don’t know…"
He trails off. A rare instance in which he doesn’t have the words.
You do. Intimate. Real. Romantic. And he’s right, it does feel too much like all of those things. But that doesn’t mean you don’t like it, perhaps more than is strictly good for you.
"It’s fine. Thank you."
He continues chewing on his lip for a moment.
"Did I just ruin the mood?"
"No," you laugh, "not at all."
"Thank god," he sighs, surging forward again.
"Since when do you thank god?" You manage between kisses.
He moves to press his lips to your jaw and down your neck.
"Do you want me to talk about the historical and cultural transition of religious expressions into ubiquitous secular colloquialisms right now?"
"Kind of," you breathe.
"No you don’t," he murmurs against your neck as his hands find the hem of your shirt. "You want me to take your clothes off."
Well, he’s not wrong there.
You help him tug the shirt over your head before leaning back into the pillows as he situates himself over you and lavishes more kisses down your neck and collarbones, pausing to suck a mark only when he knows it’s low enough to be covered by your clothing later.
You gasp when his lips brush over your nipple, before running his tongue over the sensitive skin. He glances up at you, and though his mouth is occupied, you can see the humor in his eyes. He loves how sensitive you are—how easy it is to get a reaction out of you.
Of course, you continue to prove him right when he takes the other into his mouth, trying to hold back your little whimpers as he darts his tongue over the peak. Maybe somebody else wouldn’t hear them, but Spencer does. He’s hyper attuned to the sounds you make. Something of a catalogue has begun to form in the back of his mind; he knows exactly what each noise means and how to get them out of you.
Once satisfied, he moves to press a kiss to your sternum.
"You’re gonna be quiet for me, right?" Another kiss above your bellybutton. "Because Morgan is sleeping right on the other side of that wall, and we don’t want to wake him up."
"I’ll be quiet," you promise, somewhat breathlessly. Spencer’s mouth trails lower until he’s pulling your shorts down your legs, leaving you completely naked. He tosses them somewhere on the floor and hooks your legs over his shoulders.
"Good." He plants one last kiss to your thigh and the next one lands right between your legs.
You regret the need to be silent almost as soon as he drags his tongue over your clit. It’s not like the two of you have ever had the privilege of making a lot of noise, as the hotel rooms are always so close to each other, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
Instead you opt to rake your hands through his hair and try to take deep breaths. But he knows exactly what you like—he knows starting light and slow, teasing around your most sensitive spot will work you up to the brink of insanity, just like he knows gentle circles make your back arch and elicit the prettiest little moans.
"More," you beg, and the hands wrapped around your thighs rub soothingly, reassuring you that if you can just be patient you’ll get what you want.
He takes your aching clit into his mouth, sucking lightly and you’re forced to clap a hand over your mouth, muffling the sob of pleasure you can’t hold back. Spencer keeps it up until you’re practically riding his face, teasing your dripping entrance with the tip of his tongue when you get too close.
"Fuck, please, Spence," you whisper through your fingers, hips rutting in your desperation. Somehow it always ends up like this—with him in charge and you begging. Not that you have a problem with it, of course.
He hums into you, and if the way his tongue moves back to circling your clit with newfound fervor is any indication, is apparently satisfied with your entreaty.
You gasp and try to control your breathy moans, but his mouth feels so good on you that your vision is going out and you’re losing touch with reality ever so slightly. You use the last of your brain power to bite down on the back of your wrist, hoping it adequately muffles the noises you make as you come on Spencer’s tongue and he greedily continues lapping at you. There’s really no way of knowing—your ears are ringing anyway.
When you come to a moment later he’s peppering kisses on your thighs, rubbing your hips gently.
"So pretty," he murmurs, climbing back up so your lips can meet again. "Everything about you is pretty."
You paw at his shirt, signaling that you want it off as you moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue, feel your slippery arousal staining the kiss. Spencer helps you, sitting up briefly to unzip his hoodie and pull off his shirt.
You’re the one to drag him back down, and you notice that he pulls the covers back over the both of you in a sweet gesture he probably didn’t even think about.
"Need you to fuck me," you beg, reaching down to try and undress him further.
"So crude. What happened to my nice, sweet girl?" He mumbles against your neck, but helps you with his pants anyway.
"You must have me confused with someone else."
"Doubtful."
You don’t have much time to consider what that could mean before he’s running the head of his cock over your clit and you’re gasping into his mouth, saying please like it’s the only word you know.
"There she is," Spencer croons, slipping inside you slow enough for you to feel every inch but quick enough for it to expel all the air from your lungs. Once he’s opened you all the way up, impossibly deep and close, you’re seeing stars, barely breathing. His head has dropped to your shoulder but now he drags his lips up your neck and jaw. "We okay?"
It’s been a while, you realize, since that last case in Maine. He always takes some getting used to. Hardly able to think around the pressure of his cock you nod, trying to string together a few words.
"Fuck, I need a second." The words come out choked, but you manage. Spencer rubs your hip, his lips brushing yours as he speaks.
"Relax, sweetheart. I don’t want to hurt you."
He curses to himself, dropping his head momentarily. You’re so fucking soft, and warm, and perfect, he can’t think straight. But he has to try because he has to take care of you.
"Spence," you gasp, failing to verbally communicate the intensity of the physical sensation.
"I know, baby," comes his sympathetic coo. "You know you can take me. Deep breaths."
"Mhm," you squeak, trying to take follow his directions and soften your muscles. Spencer keeps rubbing soothingly over your hips, stomach, whatever he can get his hands on, really, pressing kisses all over your face and telling you how good you are, how perfect you feel for him. After a few moments he feels you fluttering around him and experimentally pulls out halfway, before pushing back in equally as slowly. Your jaw drops as he begins to leisurely fuck you, arms wrapping around his back. He gets deeper than you expect every time, rubbing you raw and stretching you out in the most delicious way.
"Perfect, baby. Such a good listener, did exactly what I asked."
You cry out when he begins fucking you impossibly deeper, but still so slow and sweet.
"You feel so fucking good for me," he groans. "This is what you were made for, huh?" You agree enthusiastically, eyes fluttering shut.
"Only for you."
Just three words—but he wasn’t expecting to like hearing you say that as much as he does. A strong desire to possess you overtakes him—one that he’ll probably have the decency to feel guilty about later, but for now feels fucking fantastic and intoxicating.
"Only me?"
You moan an affirmation.
"Good. I don’t want anyone else fucking you, do you understand me?"
"Yes!"
"I’m the only one who gets to touch you," he breathes, speeding up ever so slightly, "nobody else is going to feel you like this. Such a good girl, spreading her legs for me at five in the fucking morning. You’re not doing this for anybody else, baby."
"Uh-uh, please, pleasepleaseplease Spence—"
He knows what you need, reaching a hand down between your bodies to rub your clit.
You gasp an airy, high pitched curse, hips twitching but unable to escape the near-punishing rhythm of his own. It’s obvious that your orgasm is close, but you can’t even warn him, too overwhelmed with pleasure. He kisses you, swallowing your moans that have probably become just a bit too loud given the whole hotel thing.
No words are exchanged between the two of you as you near the finish line for a change, open mouths slipping against each others in what is too messy to be called a kiss. Your orgasm body-slams you, a choked silent scream as you tighten around Spencer and he seems to come at nearly the exact same moment—deep inside you, slowly rolling his hips in a few more strong thrusts as he finishes.
You let out a delayed moan at the sensation of being filled up, still pulsing around him as he comes to a halt, buried inside of you. He drops his head to your neck, and you can feel each breath against your flushed skin. Other than the panting, you’re both silent for a while. Spencer seems to gather himself sooner than you do, finally breaking the quiet.
"You okay?"
All you can manage is a little squeak, at which he looses a breathy chuckle. His hand slides to your hip, gently stroking the skin with a thumb.
"Need your words, angel girl."
"I’m okay," you coo into his shoulder, but he has to strain to hear it above his own breathing.
"Yeah? Why so quiet?"
But it seems that at least for the moment, he’s gotten all the words he can out of you. When he tries to move, you whimper indignantly, clutching onto him tighter.
"I really did a number on you this time, huh?" He laughs when you nod into him. "Are you falling asleep?"
"Mhm," you hum dreamily, little puffs of warm air slowing against his neck.
"You can have…" he cranes his head to check the digital clock, "48 minutes."
"An hour."
He settles his weight on you once more, pressing a chaste kiss to your throat. His voice is low and gentle as he admonishes you.
"I said 48 minutes."
But it doesn’t matter—you’re already asleep, or close enough to it. Spencer takes the opportunity to shift you to your side, and the way you wrap around him like a vine even unconsciously makes his heart ache. He really should go now—the earlier he gets out of your room the less likely certain complications will arise—but how can he possibly leave you like this? A vulnerable, dreamy girl with tangled hair haloing around her on the pillow case, clinging to him with blind trust that he’ll watch over her as she sleeps? No—there’s no way he’s leaving yet. Instead, he brings you closer. 48 perfect minutes will go by far too quickly, he’s sure.
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid smut#criminal minds smut
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fantasize



chapter summary: You have a crush on Logan, but you're not sure he likes you back. Why would he? You're not his type. At least that's what you thought.
word count: 2.4k+
pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader
notes: here was the request
so i took a tad bit of creative freedom since i read a book on my kindle (that i got for christmas, one of the only good things about that day). it's a holiday romance/comedy book called 'good elf gone wrong' that you can read if you have kindle unlimited
anyways i took some inspiration from that book and applied it here, so i hope you enjoy it! and thank y'all for 900 followers!
warnings/tags: implied curvy!reader, slight angst, fluff, kinda protective!logan
The Danger Room was quieter than usual, with most of the team taking the rare free evening to relax or catch up on personal projects. Logan had been in there for a while, his gruff voice occasionally echoing out as he muttered to himself between sessions. The clang of metal on metal and the occasional snarl punctuated the stillness, but it wasn’t long before he stepped out, towel slung over his shoulder and a half-empty bottle of water in hand.
You were walking down the hall, carrying a box of supplies Hank had asked you to grab from the storage room. The box wasn’t heavy, but it was awkward, making it hard to see where you were going. You nearly bumped into Logan as he came around the corner.
“Whoa, easy there,” he said, steadying the box with one hand before it could topple.
“Sorry,” you mumbled, shifting it to your hip to get a better grip. “Hank needed these for his lab. Guess I should’ve watched where I was going.”
Logan smirked, leaning casually against the wall. “You’re always doin’ stuff for people, huh? Gotta learn to say no once in a while.”
“It’s fine,” you replied quickly. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Hmm,” Logan said, his tone somewhere between a grunt and genuine amusement. He stepped back to let you pass. “Well, don’t let McCoy bury ya in work. You’ve got your own stuff to handle too, y’know.”
You smiled faintly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Logan watched as you disappeared around the corner, his brow furrowing slightly before he shook his head and headed off toward the kitchen. He wasn’t one to meddle in other people’s lives, but something about you always made him pay a little more attention.
---
“Hey, would you mind making 50 copies of this? I need it for my class in 2 hours but I have a meeting with the Professor.” Jean said, holding a single piece of paper, some activity for her class.
Even though you were cleaning the kitchen because Scott asked you to, and you had to fix the sprinkler system since Ororo couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it, you obliged. “Yeah, sure!” you replied, taking off your gloves you were using to clean to grab the paper from Jean to put in your small tote for later.
It was later in the evening when you finally got a moment to yourself. The mansion had settled into its usual rhythm of quiet chaos, and you found yourself in the rec room, curled up on one of the oversized chairs with a book. The soft hum of conversation and distant clatter of dishes in the kitchen made the space feel alive but not overwhelming.
Logan walked in, towel around his neck and hair damp from a shower. He gave you a quick nod before heading to the fridge to grab a beer. As he twisted off the cap, he turned to you, leaning back against the counter.
“You’re always workin’, doll. Don’t you ever sit down and let someone else handle it?”
You looked up from your book, smiling faintly. “I’m sitting now, aren’t I?”
He chuckled, taking a swig of his beer before sauntering over to the chair opposite you. “Guess that counts. What’re you readin’?”
You held up the book to show the cover. “Just something light. Needed a break.”
Logan raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical but not unkind. “You? Takin’ a break? That’s a first.”
“It happens,” you teased, marking your page and setting the book down on the armrest. “What about you? You’re always either in the Danger Room or off somewhere on your bike.”
“Gotta keep busy,” he said with a shrug. “Helps keep my head straight.”
You nodded, understanding the unspoken weight behind his words. Logan wasn’t one to open up easily, but you’d learned to read between the lines.
“Fair enough. I guess we’re both bad at just sitting still,” you said.
He smirked. “Yeah, but at least I don’t let people walk all over me while I’m at it.”
You rolled your eyes playfully. “Here we go.”
“I’m just sayin’, sweetheart. You’ve got a good heart, but it’s okay to say no once in a while.” His tone was softer this time, less teasing and more genuine.
You looked down, fiddling with the edge of your book. “I don’t mind helping. Besides, it’s not like I’ve got anything else pressing to do.”
Logan leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees as he looked at you. “That’s not the point. You deserve time for yourself, too. Don’t let these jokers make you forget that.”
You smiled, a warmth blooming in your chest at his concern. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You better,” he said, leaning back again and taking another sip of his beer. “‘Cause if I catch you runnin’ yourself ragged again, I might just have to step in.”
“Oh, really? And what would that look like?” you asked, amused.
“Let’s just say it’d involve you sittin’ in that chair for more than five minutes without someone askin’ you to fix somethin’.”
You laughed, the sound light and genuine. “Alright, deal. But only if you promise to do the same.”
He raised his beer in a mock toast. “Deal, doll.”
For a moment, the two of you sat in companionable silence, the noise of the mansion fading into the background. Logan’s presence was steady, grounding in a way you hadn’t quite expected when you first met him. It wasn’t hard to see why you’d grown to like him so much—even if he didn’t realize it.
As you picked up your book again, you caught him watching you out of the corner of your eye. When your eyes met, he just smirked and shook his head, muttering something under his breath before finishing his beer and heading out. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, the moment lingering long after he was gone.
---
You and Ororo were making dinner, her stirring food on the stove while you cut up chicken at the counter. The kitchen smelled warm and inviting, the quiet hum of activity making it a relaxing space to chat.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Logan lately,” Ororo said, her tone light but curious.
You paused mid-slice, glancing at her with a small smile. “He’s been around, yeah. We just… talk sometimes.”
“Mmhmm,” she replied, stirring the pot without looking at you. “And you don’t think that means something?”
You shook your head, laughing softly. “No, Ro. Logan talks to everyone—well, kind of. It’s not like I’m special or anything.”
She turned to look at you, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that? Because the way he looks at you sometimes…”
“What way?” you asked, feeling a warmth creep into your cheeks.
Ororo set down her spoon and crossed her arms, leaning back against the counter. “Like you’re the only person in the room. Like he actually wants to be around you—which, let’s be honest, is rare for Logan.”
You snorted, trying to brush off the comment. “He’s just… nice to me, that’s all. He probably feels sorry for me because I’m always running around doing things for everyone.”
“Nice? Logan?” Ororo gave you a pointed look. “That man growls at people for breathing wrong. He’s not just ‘nice.’”
You opened your mouth to respond, but the words caught in your throat. Could she be right? You’d always thought Logan’s kindness was just him looking out for you the way he did for everyone on the team, even if it seemed a little… different sometimes.
“Even if you’re right,” you said finally, “I don’t think he thinks about me like that. I’m not exactly his type.”
Ororo frowned, clearly unimpressed. “And what makes you think you’re not his type?”
You gestured to yourself vaguely. “Come on, ‘Ro. He’s this tough, no-nonsense guy, and I’m—”
“Amazing,” Ororo interrupted firmly. “You’re amazing. And if Logan doesn’t see that, then he’s a fool. But from where I’m standing, it seems like he does.”
You sighed, setting down the knife and leaning your elbows on the counter. “I don’t know. I just… I don’t want to make things awkward, you know? If I say something and I’m wrong, it could mess everything up.”
Ororo placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I get it. But sometimes, you’ve got to take a leap of faith. You deserve to be happy, and if Logan makes you happy, it’s worth the risk.”
Unbeknownst to either of you, Logan had wandered into the hall just in time to catch the tail end of the conversation. He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, his brow furrowed as he listened.
“I’ll think about it,” you said softly, returning to the chicken.
“You do that,” Ororo said with a knowing smile, turning back to the stove.
Logan cleared his throat as he stepped into the kitchen, startling both of you. “Smells good in here.”
“Oh!” You nearly dropped the knife, your heart racing. “Hey, Logan. Didn’t hear you come in.”
“Didn’t mean to sneak up on ya,” he said, his tone casual. His eyes lingered on you for a moment before flicking to Ororo. “You got room for one more?”
Ororo smirked, glancing between you and Logan. “Always. But only if you’re willing to set the table.”
Logan chuckled. “Fair enough.” He grabbed some plates from the cupboard, his movements unhurried but purposeful.
You tried to focus on the chicken, but your hands felt clumsier than usual under his gaze. Ororo shot you a sly look before turning her attention back to dinner, leaving you and Logan to fall into an easy, if slightly charged, silence.
---
Logan, for the first time in a long time, was clueless about what to do. He almost felt like a teenager, walking around with a secret—perhaps not-so-secret—crush.
To make matters worse, in the following days when he thought he had gathered himself to tell you how he felt, you flashed him a smile and all his previous thoughts went out the window. Logan found himself retreating to the Danger Room more often, grumbling under his breath about how he wasn’t built for this kind of thing.
One evening, after a particularly long day of running errands and fixing half the mansion’s quirks, you were in the rec room folding towels that had piled up in the laundry. Logan walked in, pausing in the doorway when he saw you. He frowned, his grip tightening around the beer in his hand.
“You’re kiddin’ me. Again?”
You looked up, startled. “What?”
“That,” he said, gesturing to the stack of towels. “You’re always doin’ somethin’ for everyone else.”
“It’s not a big deal,” you said, shrugging. “It needed to get done.”
Logan let out a low growl of frustration and set his beer down on the coffee table. He crossed the room in a few strides and grabbed the towel you were folding out of your hands, tossing it onto the pile. “Enough.”
“Logan, what are you doing?” you asked, startled.
“Savin’ you from yourself,” he replied, his tone firm but not unkind. “Sit.”
You blinked at him, caught off guard by the sudden intensity. “What?”
“I said sit, doll,” he repeated, pointing to the couch. “You’re takin’ a break whether you like it or not.”
Reluctantly, you sank onto the couch, watching as he grabbed a towel and started folding it himself. “You don’t have to do that,” you said.
“Yeah, well, neither do you,” he shot back, not looking at you.
You crossed your arms, feeling both touched and mildly annoyed. “I don’t see what the big deal is. I like helping.”
“You like helpin’ so much you forget to take care of yourself,” he muttered, finishing one towel and moving onto the next.
“That’s not true,” you protested.
Logan finally looked at you, his hazel eyes piercing. “Yeah, it is. You’re runnin’ yourself into the ground, sweetheart. And for what? So McCoy doesn’t have to walk ten feet to grab his own damn supplies?”
You opened your mouth to argue but stopped. He wasn’t entirely wrong. “It’s just… easier to say yes than to make a fuss,” you admitted.
“Easier for them,” he countered. “Not for you.”
You sighed, sinking further into the couch. “Why do you care so much?”
Logan’s hands stilled, and for a moment, he didn’t answer. Then he set the towel down and turned to face you fully, his expression unreadable. “Because I like you, that’s why.”
Your breath hitched. “What?”
“You heard me,” he said, his voice quieter now but no less firm. “I like you. And it drives me nuts watchin’ you run yourself ragged for people who don’t appreciate it.”
You stared at him, your mind racing. “Logan…”
“Look, I ain’t good at this kinda thing,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “But I know what I feel. And what I feel is that you deserve better than this.”
You felt a warmth rise in your chest, a mix of disbelief and something else—hope. “I didn’t think… I mean, I thought you just saw me as some pushover,” you admitted.
He snorted. “A pushover? Nah. You’re tougher than you give yourself credit for. But that doesn’t mean you gotta carry everyone else’s weight all the time.”
You bit your lip, unsure of what to say. Logan took a step closer, crouching down in front of you so you were eye level. “You don’t gotta say anything, doll. Just… promise me you’ll start puttin’ yourself first for once.”
You nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll try.”
He gave you a small smile, one that made your heart flutter. “Good.”
Before you could overthink it, you leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. Logan froze, his eyes widening slightly as he looked at you. “What was that for?”
You shrugged, feeling bold for the first time. “For caring.”
A slow grin spread across his face, and before you knew it, he was leaning in, his hand coming up to cup your cheek as he kissed you—gentle at first, then deeper, more sure. When he finally pulled back, you were both breathless.
“That… was overdue,” he said, his voice low and a little rough.
You laughed softly. “Yeah, maybe a little.”
Logan smirked, his thumb brushing over your cheek. “Guess I’ll have to stick around more. Make sure you’re takin’ those breaks.”
“Oh, is that what this is about?” you teased.
“Part of it,” he said with a wink. “The other part… well, we’ll figure it out.”
And for once, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, you deserved to be taken care of too.
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