#I feel shitty for agreeing to take someone else away from him.

[hungermakesmonsters]

✨✨Congrats on 500 followers!!! ✨✨

I know you only just finished red ribbon but my request is that I would love to know if bunny goes back to working for Billy and if she does is he be able to keep his hands to himself or would he cause problems?? 😂

😅😅😅OF COURSE BILLY WOULD CAUSE PROBLEMS AND NOT KEEP HIS HANDS TO HIMSELF!! no but seriously, I actually really wanted to put a scene like this in The Red Ribbon because (as far as I've planned for a second series) she does go back to work for Billy. So, I really enjoyed writing this silly little thing, I hope you enjoy reading it!!

Better At You

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Fic Universe : The Red Ribbon

Story Rating : R 

Warnings : [This is 18+ only, minors DNI] Smutty behaviour.  

He sat hunched over his desk, elbows braced on the wooden surface, thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of his nose. You’d heard more than enough through the door to know that his meeting with his business partner Frank had not gone well. So, once Frank had made his exit, you had decided to go check on Billy.

“Are you okay?” You asked as you rounded his desk and perched on the edge of it beside him.

“Fine,” he grumbled, not even bothering to look up at you.

For a few seconds you hesitated, carefully considering your next move. You’d both agreed that work needed to be separate, that you needed to remain professional but, after two weeks, you were already starting to struggle.

“No you’re not,” you said, finally reaching a decision. “You barely slept last night, you skipped breakfast, and all you’ve had since getting to the office is a coffee.”

As you spoke, you dared to place a hand on his shoulder, feeling the uncomfortable tension that filled his body.

“You’re supposed to be my PA, not my mother,” he snapped, pulling away from your hand.

It was the first time he’d snapped at you in weeks, the first time since you’d started your relationship. And, for a moment you were frozen, shocked by his little outburst. Then you shook your head and stood - he’d agreed that he wouldn’t snap anymore, that he’d never take his shitty mood out on you at work.

A second later, he realised what he’d done and, before you could walk away, his hand was on your wrist, pulling you back towards him.

“Bunny, I’m - I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “You’re right, I didn’t sleep and I feel like shit, but I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

“You promised me that -”

“I know. I know I did,” he sighed. “I’m trying, it’s just... Frank says we’re gonna have to get the Feds and maybe Homeland involved to find out just how deep this thing with Rawlin’s goes, and -”

“That’s no reason to snap at me.”

“I know. Fuck - I know. I’m sorry, Bunny.”

You knew that he meant it, that he really was sorry, and that was enough. At least, for now. 

Stepping closer, you reached for him, your hand cupping his cheek tenderly. Despite your agreements to keep things professional, you couldn’t help but want to comfort him. He finally relaxed a little at your touch, and that made you feel a little better.

“I don’t suppose I could talk you into cancelling the rest of your meetings, leaving early and going home to get some sleep?” You asked, your voice turning low, worried that someone might overhear you even though you knew there was no one else on the floor.

“Depends, are you offering to come home with me?” He asked just as softly.

“I have all that paperwork to finish filing, remember? Besides, if I go home with you, the last thing you’re gonna do is sleep.”

His hand on your wrist gave a gentle tug, pulling you closer, until you were standing between his legs. Then both of his hands found their way to your hips.

“We agreed we weren’t going to do this at the office,” you said, reminding him of your agreement while simultaneously completely ignoring it by letting your fingers slip into his hair.

Billy’s eyes closed and he let out a sigh, leaning into your touch.

As much as you believed it was a bad idea to let your personal lives and feelings bleed into work, seeing him like that, finally able to relax a little, left you with no doubt in your mind; he needed you.

He pulled you closer and, before you could stop to think about it, you were kissing him. A switch flipped inside you when he let out that first little groan against your lips, and it stopped being about what you shouldn’t do and became more about what he obviously needed

When the kiss broke, you slowly dropped to your knees in front of him, all the while holding his gaze.

“Bunny...” there was a warning in his tone, but something else too. Pleading.

“We’ll be quick,” you told him as you tugged open his belt and started on the fastenings of his pants. “Besides, your next meeting isn’t for twenty minutes.”

Whatever Billy wanted to say died on his lips the moment you reached into his boxers and pulled out his cock. You watched as he licked his lips and sank back in his chair, putting himself completely in your hands, both literally and figuratively. 

You started slowly, stroking his cock and watching as it got harder, revelling in the way that Billy’s breath caught. You’d never known a man so needy, a man who craved your every touch as if he’d never been touched before. Honestly, you weren’t sure if it was you or if Billy had always been that way, but you liked to think it was all for you.

His cock throbbed in time with his heartbeat, the tip quickly starting to leak. And the sounds - god, the sounds spilling from him made you feel like the most powerful person in the world.

“Fuck,” he groaned at the feeling of your lips wrapping around him.

You almost smiled as you sank lower, taking more of him into your mouth, keeping your fist wrapped around the base of his cock, stroking what you couldn’t take.

You started slowly, toying with him, dragging your lips up and down his shaft, tracing patterns on his skin with your tongue until you felt his fingers tangling in your hair.

“Bunny,” he muttered, voice little more than a low growl.

Despite his grip on you, Billy knew better than to apply pressure. As desperate as he might have felt, he knew that you were in complete control, and he knew just how much that control meant to you.

Glancing up, you met his gaze and still for a moment, the tip of his cock in your mouth while your hand continued to stroke him.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he groaned. “So fucking beautiful, Bunny,”

More little affirmations started to fall from him as your lips started to move again, this time bobbing your head faster and with more purpose, knowing that you’d finally gotten him to relax. 

And that felt good. No, it felt amazing.

You’d realised pretty quicking that it was what Billy needed in his life, it was what you wanted to give him. He saw you as a person, cared about you and cherished your time together, and you - you wanted to give him the happiness and stability that he craved. Maybe eventually there would be more, maybe in time the feeling in the pit of your stomach would even  become love. But, for now, this was enough.

“Bunny,” he gasped, his fingers tightening in your hair - not a lot, but enough to let you know he was getting close.

You didn’t stop. Instead you doubled down, working your lips faster on his cock, gripping him a little tighter with your hand. 

Again you looked up at him, catching the look of sheer pleasure and desperation on his face.

“Bun -” 

He grunted as he started to come undone in your mouth, and you held him there, still stroking him until he was completely spent.

When you finally pulled back and looked up at him, you couldn’t help but grin; his eyes were closed and tension and worry had left his face. If you didn’t know him better, you might have said it looked like he’d just been through a life-changing experience. 

His fingers slipped from your hair and back to your cheek again as he finally opened his eyes and looked at you.

“So much for not doing that at the office,” he said playfully, tucking himself back into his pants.

“It was an emergency,” you shrugged. “I couldn’t have you turning into a cranky asshole and taking it out on everyone.”

“Oh, so that was a public service blowjob?” Billy asked, grinning like he didn’t have a care in the world.

“Exactly. In fact, you could even say I’m a superhero.”

“That’s quite a superpower you’ve got - though, I don’t think they’ll be asking you to join the Avengers anytime soon.”

“Their loss, I’m actually also really good at -”

The sound of someone clearing their throat had Billy glancing towards his office door, his eyes going wide. You couldn’t see who it was until you scrambled off your knees and stood again, quickly brushing your skirt down.

Frank Castle, Billy’s business partner, had come back.

Your cheeks warmed quickly, leaving you feeling like you were about to spontaneously combust.

“I, uh -” you tried to think, tried to come up with something to say, “- I’ll see if I can find something to stop your chair from squeaking, Mr Russo.”

And, with that, you quickly rushed out of the office, trying very hard not to make eye contact with either man on your way out.

[dumpties]

That's. Not the only thing they asked of me in order to drop the charges. Someone still needs to face justice as the Headhunter. I agreed to help them bring in Vincent for the assassination of my father.

[bolognamayhem117]

Hot Take: Astarion does NOT hate flowers. You just missed a few subtle hints through Act 1 and early Act 3.

Astarion's negativity is directed toward just about anything remotely pleasant as you move through early act three, starting the moment you leave Wyrm's Rock. First thing after Gortash's coronation he marvels near tears at the colors of the city in daylight. If you ask if he's alright, it pisses him off.

There's other instances I can't quite remember but he's a straight crank throughout early Act 3 and it took me several hours of gameplay to have a lightbulb moment about his newly crappier attitude.

He just spent the last two hundred years seeing everything in the overwhelmingly warm dim tones of indoor lighting via sconces, rushlights, and braziers, or the dingy blue gray of moonlight outside. Daylight colors are something he had more than a lifetime to forget and now that he has a chance to remember that vibrancy in his own home town, he knows he's going to have to forget it all over again either by death or by remaining a vampire spawn forever. The worm isn't going to live rent free in his head forever, and killing Cazador to ascend in his place likely feels like an insurmountable and impossible fight against a literal titan who could stomp him flat without a corm of effort.

He doesn't hate flowers, he hates EVERYTHING right now because it's all going away very soon and if he convinces himself he hates everything then he won't miss it when it's all gone again. He was denied this for two hundred years and he's PISSED at what was stolen from him and PISSED it's all going away again.

He behaved similarly in Act 1 about anyone besides him enjoying physical intimacy. Some of this content was cut, to my best knowledge, but the overwhelming majority of his dialog addressing the PC romancing anyone but him are negative or backhanded. This is for two reasons, I think. A: his Simple Plan just dissolved right before his eyes when you chose someone else which in his mind means he has zero safety net, and EVERYONE gets to enjoy sex (key wording being ENJOY, not simply having) except him... And it pisses him off.

He also gleefully interrupts the bug bear and the ogress, I think for the same reason as the above paragraph, being: If he doesn't get to enjoy intimacy neither do they.

He reacts with anger and disgust at anything he's being unfairly denied. Which... That's fair. His feelings are valid, but his reaction to it is pretty shitty and meanspirited.

The other companions I tend to keep in my party, (that is Lae'zel, Halsin, Karlach, and Wyll) however, are actually appearing to behave pretty patiently with him in Act 3 which I find interesting.

In the instance with the flowers Karlach doesn't bother trying to convince him otherwise of his opinion, she just tells him how they make her feel instead and rather than getting snippy or doubling down he more or less agrees to disagree. I also don't recall anyone disagreeing with Astarion during Gale's last quest tasks when he mentioned that he quit praying to gods who wouldn't hear him a long time ago but to be fair, I think the gods did everybody in this crew dirty and they all know it. It seems like they're consciously giving him the space to be mad about things, is what I'm saying.

Everyone I know including myself who crawled out of a long-term hot garbage situation kinda went wild for a bit with freedom, spoke poorly, behaved strangely, had extreme emotional reactions to things, and made some particularly terrible choices. I think that's just a part of recalibrating yourself, healing and learning how to be okay again.

Point is, I wouldn't conflate too many of the turbo-negative things he says with how he actually feels about anything. We certainly know what he says and what he feels are two very different things.

[lnfours]

focal point ☆ chapter 2 | l.n

summary: you’re running out of time to start your project and lando’s really trying to get you to agree to his ultimatum, despite your constant disagreeing.

warnings: art student!reader, best friend/college student!oscar, college student!lando, slight enemies to lovers!au, slight grumpy!lando x sunshine!reader, banter per usual, kind of shitty writing, and some more setting the scene.

series masterlist

the sunlight shone in through the tall windows of the library as you scribbled in your notebook. highlighters and pens scattered across the table, laptop sitting in front of you with a list of assignments you needed to get done this week.

the headphones on your head helped block out any noise from the outside world, free of any distractions from the other students in the upstairs portion of the large building. however, they also drowned out the noise of footsteps approaching behind you.

a tap on your shoulder almost sent you flying out of your seat, turning around and tugging an ear cuff off to be met with green eyes and brown, floppy, messy curls that clearly had endured the wind outside. you immediately sighed, “what do you want, norris?”

“well beings you left me on read,” he wore that stupid, signature smirk that you really just wanted to wipe off his face, “i figured i’d come to you with the proposal in person.”

“has anyone told you how insufferable you are?”

he pulled the chair out from across the table, dropping his backpack to the floor before leaning back in the wooden chair, “no, they’re usually telling me i’m irresistible,”

“their standards must be pretty low.”

he shrugged, watching as you closed the lid of your laptop, placing the pen that once had been in your hand down on the lined paper. if there was one thing you knew about lando norris, other than the fact that he was undoubtedly annoying, he was also stubborn as fuck.

“let me get this right,” you started, “you want to be my model for my project so that in return i help you in econ, right?”

“yeah,” he said, “you scratch-“

“‘i scratch your back, you scratch mine’, yeah, whatever,” you said, “here’s my question, why don’t you just go to the tutoring center for help? like everyone else?”

“because i know you,” he said, “and because there’s a long ass waitlist for a tutor.”

“maybe you should’ve went earlier in the semester,” you shrugged.

“wasn’t failing the course til now,” he had an answer for everything, didn’t he?

“look, you’re running out of time to find someone for your little painting, and i’m one test score away from having to take the class again and miss graduation in the spring. why don’t we just be civil for the next month or so, help each other out, and then we can go back to hating each other as much as you’d like.”

maybe he had a point. you were running out of time to get started and despite your best efforts in not trying to feel bad for him, you kind of did. econ was a hard course, even you had struggled with it last semester. and you really didn’t want to be the reason why he misses graduation if you didn’t help him.

it wasn’t really that bad of an ultimatum, surely it could’ve been worse. it’s not like you were going to fall in love with him or anything.

“alright, fine,” you said, making him smile and cheer silently, “but, we‘re doing things my way.”

he put his hands up in fake surrender, “whatever you say,”

you began packing your things into your bag, “can we start tonight?”

“yeah, my last class ends at six. ‘m free after,”

“sounds good,” you said, “i’ll text you which building and floor is mine.”

he nodded, that stupid smirk popping up on his face again, “it’s a date then.”

you scoffed, throwing your bag over your shoulder before calling over your shoulder, “definitely not!”

you got back to your apartment, throwing your keys onto the kitchen counter before spotting your roommate, lily, on the couch. an episode of the show she had been trying to convince you to watch on the tv, but her head leaned back to smile at you softly.

“how was the library?”

you hummed, rummaging in the fridge before grabbing a water bottle from it, “it was fine until the devil showed up.”

she laughed softly, “‘the devil?’”

“yeah,” you plopped down next to her, “remember the guy i was telling you about the other day? oscar’s roommate who asked me to tutor him in exchange for being my model for the project?”

she hummed, “yeah, what did he just show up?”

“unfortunately. i think oscar must’ve mentioned to him that i go to the library on fridays to work on assignments. the guy literally tracked me down to convince me to agree to his plan in person because i left him on read the other night.”

she laughed softly, “gotta give it to him, at least he’s committed,”

“to getting on my nerves? oh, one hundred percent.”

“i mean, at least he’s offering to help you too,” she said, “plus, is he really all that bad?”

“just wait til you meet him,” you mumbled, “what’re your plans for tonight?”

she looked at the time on her phone, “after this episode i’m gonna start getting ready to head to the cafe. promised someone i’d meet them tonight,”

you wiggled your eyebrows, bumping her shoulder, “ooh, is it that cute guy from your chemistry class who you won’t shut up about?”

“one, i do shut up about him,” she sent you a pointed look but her face broke out into a small smile shortly after, “and two, maybe, who knows?”

“lils this is great!” you smiled, “i told you, he’s definitely into you!”

“i hope so. part of me wants to believe you, but the other part is telling me he just said ‘yes’ out of pity.”

“well then he clearly doesn’t know what he’s missing out on if he did,” you stood from the couch, “wear that black long sleeve you have, you look hot in it.”

“i hate you,” she laughed as you ventured to your room, heading to start setting up the things you needed for tonight.

“no you don’t!” you giggled back.

you made your way into your room and gathered all the supplies you were going to need in order to start your project tonight. humming along to a tune that was stuck in your head, you glanced at the clock and realized that time had passed a little quicker than you had thought.

lando should be here any minute.

and as if right on queue, you heard lily’s voice through the apartment, “y/n, lando’s here!”

you made your way to the living room where he was standing talking to lily, backpack still on his shoulders. he sported a backwards cap over his curls with a black hoodie and grey sweatpants to match. little curls peeked out from underneath the hat and-

why were you subtly checking him out?

“okay well you guys have fun,” lily smiled softly, “i’m heading out. it was nice meeting you, lando! i’ll see you guys later!”

her voice brought you back to the present tense, lando bidding her a soft smile and a wave, “nice meeting you, too!”

“bye! good luck!” you called back, causing her to let out a chuckle and a playful eye-roll as she headed out the door.

“so,” he said after a beat of silence, following as you led him to your room, “what is it that you need me to do?”

you grabbed your sketchbook from your desk as he sat at the edge of the bed, “you can do whatever you want as long as you’re still enough for me to be able to come up with a draft.”

“sounds good,”

“good, let’s get this whole thing over with, yeah?”

[kaiserposting]

Michael Kaiser, Alexis Ness — Dog Walking

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader/Alexis Ness WORD COUNT: 3.2k TYPE: Humor, Bad flirting (it's so bad I don't know if i can call it flirting in good faith), Bad matchmaking (there was an attempt), Rivalry WARNING(S): Canon-typical football derangement, canon-typical behavior EDIT: This got a continuation, yay. And an add-on

Kaiser got it in his head that he has taken a liking to you. This is great and all, not like Ness is gritting his teeth and clenching his fists and getting angry or anything, but- okay, he is.

An obvious reason for his displeasure would be jealousy, but that’s not quite it. Ness thinks it would be entitled and insolent of him to feel any type of way about Kaiser’s personal affairs, so he hasn’t even entertained the notion. The problem is entirely different.

Just like everyone else in Blue Lock, you’re… Kaiser-opposed? Is that the right way to word it? Anyway, the point is, your shitty personality is making his job really hard. Which leads the three of you to this current situation.

“Ow! Ness, what the hell is your problem?!” you shriek, after having tripped and fell. The only reason your face isn’t attached to the floor fight now is because you softened the blow with your elbow.

“I didn’t mean it- I’m so sorry!”

“You didn’t mean it? You literally did it on purpose.”

This isn’t how it should’ve played out, though.

You were supposed to fall right into Kaiser’s arms, but you landed about a step away from him. They even practiced this routine with the others! Granted, no one agreed to it and was rather subjected to it whenever in Ness and Kaiser’s general vicinity, and, no, it didn’t work all the time, but they were just getting the hang of it. (Thankfully, no one sustained any serious injuries, apart from bearing some mental scars after hearing Kaiser say ‘Don’t go falling for me now’ in a wannabe suave tone.)

“Yeah, Ness, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Kaiser adds, before moving to crouch down and help you with a smidge of concern in his expression.

Ness’s eyes widen at the betrayal. Kaiser is such a fake bitch sometimes. Not like he’s going to do anything about it, or even that he minds, but seriously? No shame or decorum is on display here.

You don’t buy it, slapping his hands away. “I bet you put him up to it,” you say, before standing up all by yourself. Then you twist your leg around back and forth for a bit, as if to check how well it’s working, before you eventually lift it high up in the air. “Listen, you tie-dyed toerags.”

Ness flinches because what kind of way to address someone is this? Kaiser crosses his arms, shiteating grin receding into a little frown.

“I’m at my most divine when scoring a goal. You see this?” Your foot is now hovering near their faces while you stretch. This… What is it? A flex? A display? Whatever it is that you’re doing right now, Ness finds it unnerving. “It’s what I use to score. If you did something to take that ability away from me, you’d get pretty bad karma, you know? Angels would cry. Believe me.”

Ness tugs on Kaiser’s sleeve — to remind him he’s supposed to respond instead of just stare at you with a blank, creepy look on his face — and, as filler, says, “You’re very, um, flexible.”

“Yeah,” you say, moving into an even more convoluted position. “I have many attractive qualities. Deserving of being a superstar ace, you know? Dump Kaiser. Pass to me. You’re way too good to play second fiddle, Ness. With me, you won’t be stuck in a Tweedlecum and Tweedlepee dynamic.”

“What?! You- you- you, you, you, yooooou-?! What are you talking about?! I’d never betray him! I’m not joining your circus, clown! Unbelievable! Learn your place already. You never learn,” Ness says in a jumble. For some reason, he’s more offended than Kaiser is.

Here’s the thing about you — you’re insane. A has-an-interesting-psychological-file type of crazy. A hollow-inner-world type of crazy.

A Ness-loves-it type of crazy, as objectionable as he is acting to your offer.

“Calm down. No need to get your panties in a twist over some shitty trash talk,” says Kaiser, placing his hand on Ness’s head, forcing him to lower himself in a slight bow in front of you. Finally, you quit your bizarre movements and assume a more proper stance, while Kaiser leans in closer to you, shifting his gaze in your direction. This leaves Ness to watch you two engage in a round of charged glaring… again. Which is always compromising, but then Kaiser has to run his fingers through his hair, too. “You’re just like a chihuahua that hasn’t warmed up to its owner yet. Your barking doesn’t faze me.”

Your eye twitches at the analogy, face scrunching in an ugly way. “The hell did you just say to me? If I catch you somewhere Ego can’t see me, I’ll give you the beating of a lifetime.”

Instead of responding in a normal way, Kaiser points his finger in your face, almost poking you, twirls it around in a circle, which makes you furrow your brows even harder if possible as you scrutinize him like he’s a lower life form.

“See? Doesn’t bite. Totally harmless,” Kaiser says with a lilt of amusement. Then he swings an arm around Ness’s shoulders and turns him around before pulling him along so they can get away from you.

His tone is convincing enough to give off the impression of winning this verbal spat. However, Ness can’t help but notice that they’re speed walking.

___

When Ness turns around, you’re leaning on the bench with your foot, elbow resting on your knee. He lets out an undignified scream, taking a step back, startled, and even drops his water bottle. “Don’t sneak up on me like that! How come you didn’t make a noise? What are you?”

Kaiser regards the commotion with not even a sliver of curiosity and instead grins after nodding at you in greeting. “Look who came crawling back searching for my company, Ness.”

“I was thinking about that stuff you told me yesterday,” you say.

“Really? And what thrilling conclusion did you come to?” he asks, with sarcastic emphasis on the word ‘thrilling.’

“I’m going to spend my points from goals on taking a day off. Come along with me and we’re gonna fight, preferably in front of a big audience that can watch me humiliate you. By the way, it's a duel, so you can’t decline.”

“Wow, you’re asking me out on a date? Since when are you so adorable? I guess I just can’t reject you when you’re being vulnerable.”

“No one likes delusional men, Kaiser. I’d rather embalm myself and then desecrate my own corpse.”

Kaiser appears to find this amusing or in some way adjacent to flirting because his smile becomes a touch more irritating, but also a bit incredulous. “Crazy fucking bastard. You’ve got unique ways of pretending you’re not into me, though. It’s entertaining.”

“Your mouth is like a dirty urinal. You swear like a preteen who just found out what sixty-nine means, worry about that.”

Kaiser stares at you in shock, jaw hanging slightly open. In your head, you consider this a huge win, since it’s the first time you’ve visibly put him off.

“Keep gaping at me, I might just take a piss.”

“H-How dare you?!” Ness lunges at you, and the only thing to stop him from strangling you on live television — sensational, you like it — is the fact that Kaiser is holding him back by the collar. You find the sight of him swiping his fists in the air vaguely adorable. “How can you say these things? Just in general, let alone to Kaiser?”

You observe him in mild surprise for a second and the sincerity in your expression makes it all the more infuriating when you ask, “Oh, you’re still here?”

___

For once in his life, Ness is being very assertive. At least that’s what you think while he drags you over to their side of the cafeteria, fingers curling tight enough around your wrist to probably disturb your blood circulation.

Kaiser pulls out a chair for you when you come into view, then Ness shoves you so you’re sitting, and Kaiser pushes it back in, causing you to almost double over the table. Ness slides over some kind of fancy meal you can’t even identify in front of you. Kaiser leans down, his hair brushing against you, and then he reaches around your shoulder to aggressively stab one of the slices with a fork. With a perhaps demented smile, he declares, “We’re going to talk about strategy today,” before taking the seat next to yours.

“We’re not going to talk about strategy because I’m not one of your groupies,” you say, picking up on the conversation with ease.

Ness plops down on your other side, apparently having decided he has enough authority to lecture you. “No, no, no! This isn’t working. Isagi does whatever he wants, Kunigami does whatever he wants, you do whatever you want. It’s pure chaos on the field! No synergy! It doesn’t make any sense!”

“Join us. If you’re not following,” Kaiser adds, his arm finally receding away from you, “this is a compliment. You’re the one best suited for me, which is a big honor.”

“I have a way better idea. How about I continue doing whatever I want, and by the end of this Neo Egotist League ordeal, you two and everyone else you mentioned sing my name in a choir?”

“Ungrateful,” Ness mutters, petulant.

Kaiser grins, mocking, but also intrigued. “Are you still hanging onto the high of that goal against Barcha? Your ego is unhinged and, honestly, you’re not doing yourself any favors. Your type is always the most fun to break.”

Like he’s any different?

The score you landed, though — the one Kaiser is referencing — was what sparked his interest. You jumped in and stole the pass Isagi meant for Kunigami, securing the point right under their noses. Then, you faced Kaiser and took him by the chin like he’d done to Isagi on arrival, and even imitated his introduction, “On your knees, Bastard München,” with inconceivable amounts of smugness.

It was… interesting. Outlandish. A first. Ness berated you and Isagi together, but you kind of walked away in the middle of it without a care.

Here’s the other detail which is keeping Ness’s sanity intact (not like he’s renowned for his mental stability, but): Kaiser taking a liking to you isn’t necessarily a good thing, even if he’s treating you differently than the other competitors. It doesn’t say anything positive about your character, isn’t in any way sentimental — it’s more as if someone held up a mirror in front of him and he began obsessing over his reflection.

“I’m big and you’re small. That’s why you can’t tame me,” you say.

“He’s taller than you!” Ness defends.

“Did the voices in your head tell you that?” Kaiser asks you, and he does not acknowledge Ness’s meager attempt to upkeep his honor.

“I mean it. You think you can brute force everything and bend it to your version of reality. That’s fragile. I don’t mind falling from a high place. It kind of appeals to me, actually, you know, crawling back up, but more beautiful.”

The corners of his lips turn up in a manner you interpret as more baleful than usual. “I don’t know if you’re big or if I’m small or whatever you wanna call it, but what I know for sure is that you’re a melodramatic jerk off.”

“Anyway,” you stand up, taking the plate as you do so, “you don’t think often, so I won’t blame you for calling my internal monologue a hallucination. You can’t help it. Bye.”

___

The locker room is an environment you find ripe for picking fights in. Especially when everyone is tired after a practice match. At least the place is free of anyone besides your usual targets.

“Ness,” you say upon approaching them — they’re always together, it almost seems codependent — and then take a hold of his hand, all beguiling. Kaiser scoffs, apparently not interested in getting into it with you this once, while Ness stares at you doe-eyed. “I think it’s about time you get some dignity.”

“What kind of opening line is that?!” he asks, expression shifting from bashful to irritated.

“He’s just been even more awful to you lately and you’re still attached to his asshole like you’re a part of the human centipede.”

“You made fun of me for swearing, but look at the shit you’re saying right now.”

“I do it sparingly and with style. Please stop trying to compete where you don’t compare.” After a dismissive glance towards Kaiser, you turn your attention back to Ness, letting go of his hand to wrap an arm around his waist. “Anyway, the point is, he’s not acting very appreciative of your talent. I could treat you so much better if you passed to me. We don’t even need to entirely exclude him or anything, I’m a tolerant person.”

“I can see and appreciate Ness’s talent just fine. He’ll stay by my side no matter what.” Ness blushes because that’s kind of an intense statement to make out of nowhere? Kaiser’s fingers curl around his jawline before he pushes Ness’s head into his shoulder. “And I’m going to add you to the roster while I’m at it.”

What the fuck is even going on? Maybe the delusions of grandeur you and Kaiser seem to suffer from are becoming contagious, but it sounds like you two are fighting… over HIM? A more well-adjusted person would probably find this objectifying or otherwise demeaning, but Ness, mostly because of who he is — terminally unwanted — wonders if he’s in heaven right now.

Then again, Ness isn’t an idiot. His ignorance is willful. There’s a cap to the nonsense even he is willing to tolerate. So he lets this feeling of I’ve-never-been-happier linger for a little, your bickering fading into background noise, before he squirms away from both of you.

“I’m tired of how you guys are acting,” he calls over his shoulder.

Kaiser is gawking again. You let out an amused whistle, as if you find this development pleasing, before forcing Kaiser’s jaw closed.

“Don’t talk to me… for the rest of the day,” Ness continues, before leaving. His resolve ends on a weak note, but oh well.

“What the hell? Did Ness just reject me?” Kaiser asks, slapping off your pesky hand. “First you don’t want me, now even Ness doesn’t want me. I’m sick of this wretched place. Everything is all out of whack here.”

You burst out laughing. “Are your sensitive little feelings unable to handle a few hours without him?”

“Shut up,” says Kaiser. There isn’t enough bite in it.

“I can tell whatever tantrum you’re about to have is gonna give me secondhand embarrassment, so I’m gonna go as well.”

You’re not prepared for Kaiser to slam you into the locker and cage you in with his arms. Some vein you don’t know the name of looks very pronounced on his forehead, and you don’t think it’s supposed to be doing that?

You roll your eyes. “Take the hint, your machismo shtick isn’t doing it for me.”

“I’m not trying to make a move on you, shithead. I’m sick of your outrageous attitude as well. What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re always leaving in the middle of conversations, even ones you initiated. Do you know how rude that is? No one ever taught you some fucking manners? What’s your home life like?”

Ignoring whatever he’s even talking about — it’s going in one ear and out of the other as usual — you trail your hands over his shoulders.

“Stop trying to distract me. I’m listing out all of your personality defects.” He’s not really putting up a fight, though, doesn’t even shrug you off when you move onto caressing his neck. “We’re arguing,” Kaiser says, before leaning in to complete the kiss you were trying to pull him into, and finally his hands drop to rest on your waist.

The contact doesn’t last long, since you take the chance to side step him and swap your positions, before you push him into the locker like he’d done to you.

“Little bitch,” you say with a sneer, and then you dash towards the exit, offering a flippant wave. “I leave whenever I want to.”

What the hell!

___

“You’re unforgivable!” says Ness. What did you even do to deserve this attitude right before breakfast? “Stop messing with Kaiser’s head!”

Oh yeah, you did do that. You almost forgot.

“Good morning to you, too. Sleep well?”

Ness crosses his arms and taps his foot. He’s not very good at being intimidating, at least in a visual sense, you think. He has a total babyface. “You’re going to apologize. You’re gonna grovel for Kaiser’s forgiveness.”

“Sure, I take hurt feelings very seriously. Answer these questions for me, so I can apologize better later. Which ear were the words of hurtfulness spoken into? Is the damage he suffered permanent? Did he require a tissue for his tears?”

“I- I- I- I?!?! You piss me off so much. I don’t have the patience for this.” Ness pinches the bridge of his nose as if he needs to soothe himself after exchanging a couple of sentences with you.

“If he doesn’t have a mommy to hug him,” you continue without much of an inflection, “we can look for a surrogate.”

With uncharacteristic vice, he squeezes your shoulders, and he’s gritting his teeth, and you think he really might kill you. Maybe not right now, but at some point, this man is going to take your life. “What’s your problem? You’re a nobody, so why are you so high maintenance? Kaiser is rich, handsome, successful, and a football genius. What more could you possibly want in a boyfriend?”

“Wow,” you say, astonishment at something indeterminate apparent on your face.

Ness waits for you to elaborate, but you don’t, instead opting to scrutinize him in silence. “What? Don’t just say wow and then leave it at that. How can someone be so difficult?”

Your expression shifts into something meaner, then, a mocking raise of your eyebrows, a lop-sided but meaningless smile. “It’s just kind of amazing. You can’t help but ride Kaiser’s dick even while trying to guide it inside of me.”

“Wh-huh… What?!” Ness screeches, scandalized. “How… How crude? You're a vulgar moron! Totally indecent! That’s what you are!”

“I mean, can you blame me for being jealous of that kind of attention? You can do crazy tricks on it.”

“Why are you saying those kinds of things to me?! S-Something’s not right with you.”

You reach out and squish Ness’s cheeks together, leaving his lips to pucker, and you can feel his skin burning. “You’re an amusing guy, Ness. I haven’t decided if I find you pathetic or endearing yet, but I like it.” Then you let go of him as casually as you grabbed him, intending to continue on your merry way.

There are footsteps hurrying after you. “Admit your love to Kaiser already.”

Love? A frightening laugh rattles you. Your body jerks upright and you feel like an evil spirit was just exorcised out of you with how unexpected your reaction was, even to you.

“I know you can’t resist his charms. No one can.”

Kaiser’s… charms? You knew it, he’s trying to kill you.

“And- and- and!!! You’re going to play on our side against Ubers, and you’re going to like it.”

You’re borderline in hysterics now, stomach hurting.

“Stop walking away from me! Are you even listening? You should really listen when people talk to you!”

___

Im still loopy so presented without comment. Feel free to tell me wat you thikn the worst line from this abomination is

[silaslich]

Oh, in my blood

Simon “Ghost” Riley x gn!reader

Wc - 1.7k

Summary - Dealing with Johnny’s death also means dealing with the guilt of seeing Ghost.

Cw - 18+, angst, character death, illusions self harm

It’s never supposed to end in death. Yet, it always seems to, shaped by the loss and the unforgiving burden of broken trust.

Sworn to obey and defend; to bear true faith and allegiance to something you’re not sure you entirely believe in anymore - maybe you never had.

This freedom that’s fought for, it’s not an evenly matched fight, it never has been.

When you fled to the military it was your last straw, the last nail in the coffin, your last chance saloon to make a difference, entirely uncaring if you died in the line of duty. Lives out here don’t matter. A number scratched off a clipboard, the next willing young thing that walks through the door put in their place, likely to meet the same fate.

Johnny’s life mattered, not just to you, but the entire team, to so many even beyond the army.

You’d been with him that day, his second, there to protect him, to watch out for him - and you couldn’t even do that anymore.

Guilt was something thick and red that ran down your arms in the shower, gurgling down the drain hole, washed away with the rest of the sin and the filth from a days work.

Life had to move on, even without Johnny, the shitty jokes and the bellow of that Scottish tongue, it was all simply silence now. Nothing but a vacancy; his seat at the table, the empty bunk across from yours, the silence that echoed around the transport when deployed. It was stifling. Suffocating in a way that made you wish it would all end, because time and time again, this was the same reoccurring nightmare.

It’s why you wouldn’t get close to someone again; never again would you allow yourself to reach that point, the friendships forged that provide the temporary glimmer of hope and warmth aren’t worth the lifelong guilt and heartbreak at the end of it all.

Price tries his best, can only do so much to comfort, he’s just a man after all. It’s strange, because you’ve noticed the way he looks at you differently- Ghost does too, like they do entirely blame you for Soap’s death. They’re right to, you agree, but you wish you wouldn’t have to face the disappointment day-in-day-out. You can only punish yourself so much, carve out the sadness from your flesh or purge the guilt from your body - it can only go so far physically. If you broke your body, it would only match your mind, fractured fragmented pieces that will never fit together again.

It’s the same routine. Drowning the demons in whiskey and gin, boots hung up for the evening when you stumble back to base with an anger that’s misplaced, shaken from your shoulders when you trip into your lieutenant in the hallway. It’s defensive, the way you shrug off his hands as they reach out to try and steady you, a fleeting touch of his palms to keep you upright- it feels like it burns.

He says nothing. The mask is pointed at you, those cold dead eyes remind you of a shark, predator meeting prey, big black orbs that don’t reflect the light.

Shame burns behind your eyes and your chest heaves, you want him to leave, need him to move away, he’s the last person you want to see you like this. Yet, the booze has loosened your tongue, and he’s the first person in sight to catch the brunt of it. “You’re real fuckin’ smug, y’know that” you slur, words drawn out and slow, he doesn’t speak, simply tilts his head.

Your stomach lurches and you have to swallow it down, attempting to take a step before you stumble into the closest wall, propping yourself against it with your arm. “I wish you were there for him instead of me” your words barely carry, mumbled into your shoulder, “he’d still be here if you were there with him” tears sting your eyes and you try to bat them away, but there’s little point, like everything else - it’s too late.

Ghost has always been just that - a Ghost. Looming in the shadows and watching from afar, the few mundane conversations you’ve had with him were over comms, during a lull in a mission, nothing exciting or note worthy. So when he ignores you or looks down his nose at you with that same air of disappointment that Price does, it only stings that much harder, because how awful must you be that someone can ignore you even harder then they already do.

He doesn’t move. He stands stock still, watching you, eyes searching your face as you slump into the wall, the tears freely falling as you try and stop the sobs that threaten to rip through your chest. You want to scream, to cry to the heavens, yell for that big stupid bastard of a Scot to come back to you - to fix everything you’ve broken.

You slide down the wall, lips quivering as the dam breaks, that drunken resolve of anger melting away along with everything else damning. There’s little more you can do then curl into yourself and wish for the ground to swallow you up, bring you back down to the darkened pit of despair that you’d crawled out of.

“He’d hate this, y’know” Ghost’s voice is out of place, softer then usual, it stabs through the sound of your sorrow - forcing you to meet his eye through the tears. He still hasn’t moved, shoulders slumped but something else so rigid around his demeanour. Almost like he’s not used to this, unaccustomed to dealing with emotions and feelings. You tilt you head at him, wiping your palms down your cheeks, “what?” Perhaps you haven’t heard him right the first time. His eyes drift over you, “Johnny” he says, “he’d hate to see you like this” the words don’t compute with you right away, still knocked off kilter by the softness of your lieutenant’s tone.

Your lips tighten and you feel your chest do the same, “well he’s not here is he” you spit, frowning down at your hands where they’re laid in your lap, skin around your nails picked raw out of gross habit. Ghost shifts, his big body cracking as he lets himself slump down next to you, his back against the wall and his thigh pressed flush to yours. “No” he says, still uncharacteristically soft, “no, he’s not”, he knocks his head against the wall, eyes gazing upwards, “but if he were he’d tell you to keep ya’ chin up”. There’s something so strange about Ghost like this, gentle, almost- understanding?

You knew he and Johnny were close. Probably as close as you’d seen Ghost be with anyone, actually laughing and joking with one another, constantly partnered up because they’re the best of the best. Now, it’s just Ghost. The gruesome twosome is no more, fucked up entirely by you.

It’s hard, swallowing that pill, the one where you have to acknowledge that there’s nothing anyone can do to change the past. If given the chance, you’d trade your life for his in a heartbeat, but you also knew that Soap would have done the same for you too.

More tears spill and you barely catch them with your fingers, smearing them away, “I miss him so much” you sniff, eyes bleary and head pounding, drowning your sadness wasn’t working anymore, it just ended in a horrific headache. Ghost hums in acknowledgment, he understands, “me too, kid” he’s speaking freely, able to admit that he feels the same way about the Scot.

You lean your own head back against the wall too, following his gaze upward, “do you hate me?” It’s a shallow and ridiculous question, there’s more pressing things to worry about, but Ghost answers nonetheless - “what’s the point?”

Something strikes in your chest, it’s rooted deep, broken off like a splinter, you can’t seem to reach to pull it out. You turn your head to look at him, but he keeps staring upwards, from this angle you see his eyes aren’t entirely black, they’re a hickory brown. Burnt wood with flecks of amber, like a symphony of fallen autumn leaves. “Me hating you won’t bring Johnny back” he admits, wholeheartedly, an honest admission as if he’s weighed it up before now. He turns his head and meets your eye, “so no, I don’t hate you” his voice manages to soften even further, a miracle as far as you’re concerned.

It feels like you’ve sobered up. A clarity swirling in your head as you digest his words, realising that you’re not the only one suffering - it goes further then that.

~

It’s a long time between sitting in comfortable silence in a darkened hallway and waking up cradled against the burning heat of your lieutenant’s chest.

There’s no energy left in you to jerk away, to scare away like he’s touch sears, because it feels like the total opposite - you feel- grounded. Your back is against him, settled between his legs as he leans against the headboard, sitting with chin propped at the top of your head, arms crossed over your collarbones, keeping you against him.

He can tell you’re awake, you can feel it when he stiffens, you can’t tell how many hours have passed, but the birds chirp outside and light bleeds through the blinds hung over his window.

You bring up your hand, placing it over his wrist and thumbing over the covered flesh, a silent thank you. “You passed out. Didn’t want you aspirating in your sleep” his tone is still soft, but there’s nerve to it, that same stiffness that’s wound itself into his joints as he holds you.

You smile, solemnly, the internal hatred is sated for now but this is long from over and you know it.

“Thank you, Lt” you admit, voice hoarse with sleep, “it means a lot”. He only nods, you barely catch the movement of his chin against your head.

[nawoken]

TWST x Broken Soulbond! Reader

(You come from a world where Soulmates are real)

To understand more about the setting, you can read this.

5.C: Meow meow, never finish anything but always have time to cause more problems! It's me Space Cat!

Pairing: First-year students x g/n Reader (Can be platonic or romantic I guess, except Ortho and Grim though)

Warning: :D)

The moment they saw the bloody red line cut across your wrist, right on your blood vessel location, time stood still.

Ace Trappola

Really Prefect? Never thought you would be the type to… enraptured by love.

No? It’s not that? Then what can that thing be?

So, you guys actually have the thing like “Soulmate”?! Cool.

After hearing your story, it will cause him to be speechless. What kind of stupid joke is that?!

Because the one who is supposed to be your friend or lover refuses the bonding between you, now you have to bear the pain? That is shitty.

It’s not you nor your soulmate's fault in this, he knows. But it didn’t stop him from calling your soulmate some bad names though.

If you admit that you used to want to hurt your Soulmates the way they hurt you. He will stun a bit.

Damn… But well, can’t blame you on that, he will also be like that if he is you.

Even when he is mischievous and likes to tease you, he still cares about you a lot.

He won’t mention about this again if you don’t want to and might even help you hide it.

Gives you his Basketball wrist wrap as a replacement for your old one.

Look, you guys also have something matching, maybe both of you also are Soulmates.

* If your mark is exposed after this when there’s someone else nearby:

He will wrap his hand around your wrist, covering your mark completely without thinking.

Lying that he was afraid that you might get lost when he’s not looking or something.

Holding your hand until you find another way to cover your wrist (How about lending us your jacket? Nah, he is cold.)

Deuce Spade

He is worried and wants to ask you about it but is also afraid to hurt you in the process.

Keeps looking at you then turns away until you can’t stand it anymore and tell him everything.

He is angry for you, it’s not fair for you to be the only one in pain. Shouldn’t the one who refused the bond be punished for their doing?

Definitely on your side!

Depending on your Soulmate's gender, if he has a chance to meet them, he might punch them for hurting you.

Like, both of you can be friends, why do they have to refuse the bond and cause you miserable?

He can be a bit protective of you after this, always checking your wrist and asking if it is still painful or not.

Telling him you want to hurt your Soulmate? He does not entirely agree with this but won’t stop you though.

If it makes you feel better then maybe, just maybe violence is okay.

He doesn’t have any wrist wrap but he will get you and him a matching pair.

Blush every time someone asks about it though. But it’s okay, at least you look happy.

Lowkey think that he’s the type to carry around extra wrist wrap for you to prevent this situation if it happens again.

* If your mark is exposed after this when there’s someone else nearby:

Panic more than you, immediately standing in front of you to shield you from other eyes.

Stuttering when trying to find an explanation or a reason for his strange behavior.

You have to calm him down and maybe hint to him that you're “cold”.

It might take time for him to understand though. But if he has the matching one with you or the extra one, he will give it to you instead.

Jack Howl

Silent… He is the calmest and most mature among the first-year students. Doesn’t want to interfere in something that is not his business.

But you’re his friend and he cares about you so he will ask if you want to talk about it.

Respect your decision no matter what.

If you refuse then he will keep quiet about this and pay more attention to you after.

If you tell him the story? He would still behave like when you refuse but with more understanding about the situation.

He doesn’t throw hate or anger toward your Soulmate, being a friend or something more than that with someone should be your own choice not by some force.

Thinks that your Soulbond thingy is ridiculous for that.

He doesn’t blame you for wanting to take revenge on your Soulmate but also doesn’t encourage you to do that.

This dude will ask you to join his exercise more because this is the best way for you to release stress and negative feelings for him. (It’s true, but I hate it)

Jack is like a guard dog.

He is a bit of a tsundere and won’t admit that he is always checking on you to make sure that you’re okay and that your wrist wrap not failing you the second time.

I have a feeling that he will patch your wrist wrap back to normal if it’s torn apart.

If he gifts you a new one, it will be Sport wrap for sure, more stretchy and flexible. The same company that he always buys his stuff from

* If your mark is exposed after this when there’s someone else nearby:

He moves fast, takes off his jacket, and throws it on you.

Don’t let anyone ask anything about it.

Makes sure that you’re okay emotionally and physically after the accident.

Don’t have his jacket? Grabbing your wrist like Ace while blushing like hell. Stop looking at his wagging tail or he will leave you there on your own (no, he won’t).

Epel Felmier

He is stunned for a second before grabbing your arm and demanding to know who hurt you like this.

Ready to hurt someone until you’re able to calm him down and explain everything.

After that? He still wants to hurt someone. But this time, it’s your Soulmate he wants to punch.

He is not that angry, but more unhappy and annoyed by the fact that you have to bear the consequences due to some else decision.

He might be shy and stiff about showing you his gentle side since he thinks that it’s not manly for him to do so, this will be an exception.

But it will be kinda awkward.

Especially if you cry? He will panic. Patting your back stiffly while trying to find the right words to comfort you.

You want to hurt and destroy your Soulmate by rejecting your bond too?

Cool, you should, they deserved it for sure.

If You want to punch them then he will be the one who holds your Soulmate back for you, or even join you in that mess.

Your secret is safe with him (not really and it’s Rook's fault).

He gets you a fingerless glove that is long enough to cover your wrist, Rook’s recommendation.

* If your mark is exposed after this when there’s someone else nearby:

Pulls you behind him and shields you like Deuce but minus the panic part.

Glares at anyone who stares at you, might even punch them if they don’t stop.

Gives you his jacket right after if he has it. + If not, pull your hand and run back to Ramshckle or Pomefiore (whichever is the closest) so you can find something to use.

Ortho Shroud (Platonic)

You should calm him down and explain stuff fast before he blasts the whole school to find out who hurt you.

He is fascinated to learn more about your world and knowing that you guys have things like “Soulmates”

But that is for later, he is irritated about the fact that your Soulmate rejected your bond.

Top 1 anti-fan of your Soulmate. If that person somehow gets into Twisted Wonderland, they will be blasted for sure if you don’t find them soon enough.

There are a lot of things he doesn’t understand well, especially why someone chooses to reject their destiny.

For him, Soulbond should be something beautiful and strong. The connection between those who are in tune, aren’t it?

Then why is your Soulmate like that? There must be some mistake then. You deserve someone better.

He will scan you, especially your mark, and ask you a lot of things to know more about this “Soulmate” stuff.

You used to want to reject your bond to make your Soulmate hurt the same way? He supports your decision with all his will.

Normally, he will tell Idia about things like this, but if you ask him not to, he will respect you. (Unless Idia checks his memory though…)

I think he will ask Idia to make you a watch that won’t easily removed to cover your mark instead of a wrap.

* If your mark is exposed after this when there’s someone else nearby:

It’s happened so fast that you don’t even understand how are you around six feet off the ground in a blink.

Ortho took you to Ignihide before you could even protest.

At least it works right? Unless you’re afraid of heights.

Sebek Zigvolt

Speak in his usually loud tone that you are a weak and stupid human for hurting yourself like that for some undeserving brat.

Wait, you’ve not committed suicide? Then what is that thing?! He demands to know who has hurt his fr… his liege’s “consideration” friend.

Knowing that your world has a thing like Soulbond is a surprise for him, never think someplace where magic is not present will have something powerful like that.

But knowing that your Soulmates had done something like cutting the bond between you guys, he is furious.

That is irresponsible for them to do that. The bond is between the two of you, not just one person's problem.

Rejecting the bond on your own behalf and hurting the other half of your soul is reckless and selfish.

You want to hurt your Soulmate too? He won’t stop you, they deserved that for neglecting their responsibility.

The way he shows that he cares about you is awkward but he does care more than he admits.

He won’t tell anyone about your mark, except Malleus and Lilia. He can’t lie nor hide anything from them.

He is too embarrassed to give you the gloves that are long enough to cover your wrist he bought for you, even when you two are alone.

He just has an extra pair that he doesn’t use, don’t think much about it. (Don’t mind the fact that it fits your hands perfectly)

If your mark is exposed after this when there’s someone else nearby:

Tells you to get behind his back and grumbles about your carelessness.

He won’t grab your hand if he doesn’t have his jacket to give you, that is scandalous.

Gives up eventually after you insist a few times.

Shut up, Human! He is not blushing, his ears are not reddening.

***Grim*** (Bonus)

I don't think he understands much about this, love, hate, or soulmate. Is it edible?

All he knows is there is someone who hurt his Henchman and he wants to scratch and burn that person with his magic.

If you show your sadness when your mark is exposed, and he notices it?

Every time your wrist wrap falls, he will jump up and cling onto your arm with all his strength. Covering your mark with his body

Don't worry, he is here for you, Henchman.

But he wants a tuna can for his hard work!

[proudahgase-exol]

𝘾𝙖𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙪𝙨𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮

Summary: San becomes friends with one of Ateez backup dancers they became really close to the point were he tell her everything you get mad and suspicious thinking that he’s cheating on you.

Warning: cussing, mention of cheating

Ps: sorry for the wrong spellings 😰

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙༺♥༻❀༺♥༻ ͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺

Your pov

 

"Yeah, well, I’ll see you later.” San said, as I was still standing next to him.

 

“Don’t tell me you forgot, dummy." Mandy said, teasing

 

“Forgot what?” San asked in confession, looking between Mandy and me.

 

“We agree to go out for a few drinks tomorrow night with some of your members and backup dancers,” she replied, smiling.

 

“Ah yes, I’ll be there, then see you tomorrow, then bye." said, as he tried to take my hand in his

 

As I pulled my hand away from San, I began to walk to his car and got in before he could open the door for me. I was so pissed off and couldn’t believe what I just heard a second ago.

 

On the drive back to our place, San tried to make a conversation with me, but I was just ignoring him, not in the mood to talk to him. When we got home, I got out of the car as soon as possible and walked into our shared bedroom, where I pulled a bag out and started to pack a few things to spend the night with a friend.

 

“Hey baby, what’s up with you? Are you mad? Did I do something wrong?” San asked, confused.

 

“I’m staying with a friend for the night." I said it coldly.

 

“Why? What’s wrong?” he asked, clueless.

 

“I don’t know, San. Maybe it is the fact that I spend all day being ignored or the fact that you forgot that tomorrow is a really important day for me at last,” I said, being passively aggressive.

 

“If you're mad because I’m going out with Mandy and the other, I can cancel and go do whatever we were going to do,” he said, trying to make the situation better.

 

“You know fucking well, I don’t care if you go with the guys or your backup dancer, but you forgot something,” I said, getting pissed by the second

 

“Is it because I’m close friends with Mandy? Are you really jealous of her?” He said he was laughing.

 

"Yes, San, yes, I'm fucking jealous of the bitch you go to whenever we get into a fight or for any other reason. I don’t know why you have the need to tell that bitch about our marriage. Why do you always go to her for comfort?” I said, trying not to cry.

 

“I need someone to talk to who can hear me, and I can’t do that with you,” he said, rolling his eyes.

 

"Ah, so you tell her how shitty of a wife I’m? Or how can't I pleasure you in bed anymore? Or that I can’t keep you happy any more." I asked, letting some tears flow.

 

“I tell her a few things, but never personal stuff,” he replied.

 

“If your telling her about our marriage, it's personal, why do you tell her everything you intend to come to me and tell me I can’t make you happy anymore or that I can’t make you cum anymore? Why do you have to tell her that?" I said, yelling at him.

 

“I don’t know, okay, it just feels good to tell someone else what I feel,” he replied.

 

“Okay cool, you know what fuck you, I’m done. I’m so done being the butt if the joke from now on, your a free man. Choi San, you are free to do whatever you please. You are free to finally have your way with your precious little Mandy,” I said, walking up to the front door.

 

“What are you talking about?” he asked, confused.

 

"Oh, don’t act stupid. I can see the way you look at her, the way you used to look at me. I can tell you like her from the way you have to impress her or how you went all out for her birthday. You didn’t even put in an effort for my birthday,” I said, pointing at his chest.

 

“Of course I did. I took you out to your favorite restaurant. We ate sushi, don’t you remember? Then we went out for a movie,” he tried to justify for himself.

 

"San, I hate sushi, and I didn’t want to go to the movies either; you didn’t even say happy birthday that day,” I said defiantly.

 

“But you don’t have to worry about me anymore. You can finally take your chance with her. You can finally date the girl of your dreams here. I won’t be needing this anymore." I said, pulling my wedding ring out of my purse, placing it on his palm, bringing my bag, and walking out of the house.

 

San pov

 

When she closed the door, I fell to my knees. I felt like the biggest asshole. I lost the love of my life, all because I was trying to impress a girl when I already had what I wanted and needed.

 

I looked at her weeding ring, and I started to cry. I was so stupid for doing everything I’ve done without knowing I was hurting my wife. I stayed on the floor for god knows how long, then made my way to the bedroom, where I fell asleep crying.

 

The next day I went to work, but I was cold and distant to anyone who got near me. Seonghwa got worried and took me to the side and asked me what was wrong, and I told him everything that happened. Hoonjoog was also there, and he looked disappointed.

 

As the day continued, Wooyoung was giving me an attitude, and I was fed up, so I asked him what his problem was.

 

“What’s your problem? Why are you being an asshole?” I asked angrily.

 

“I didn’t know why you sped up the night crying at my girlfriend’s place. Tell us how much she hates  you." Wooyoung said he was pissed.

 

“What happens in my marriage is none of your business, and why did she have to go and tell her about our problems?” I asked, annoyed.

 

“I don’t know; maybe it’s the same reason why you go to Mandy and Bitch about Y/N. Yeah, I overheard you talking about her and how she couldn’t make you cum and how unhappy you were with your sex and married life,” Wooyoung said angrily. “By the way, she also knows about what you said; she was there too.”

 

I just stood there looking at all the guys; they looked disappointed and confused. I knew I had messed up, but I didn’t know what to do anymore. I didn’t even know if I could fix anything. I was so embarrassed, so I just turned around, left the studio, and made my way home.

 

When I got home, I felt something off, like I was forgetting something. I started to remember the first night, and I remembered what y/n had said about an important date, so I checked my phone calendar, and there it was: today was our third-year anniversary.

 

I knew I couldn’t do anything about it, even if I tried. I knew she wouldn’t want to see me, and I don’t blame her. I did this to myself. Now I have to find a way to fix my marriage.

 

 

Mandy pov

 

Today was the day some of the ateez members and Bcakup dancers would go out for some drinks, and I was excited to meet with San.

 

I knew he was married, but what he had told me was that he was unhappy in the marriage and that he regretted marrying his wife. At first, I thought it was a joke because they both seemed really happy together, but as time went on, I started to see what he meant.

 

San and I grew closer as he would come to me when he wanted to talk about his problems, and as time went on, I started to flirt with him, and he didn’t try to stop me, so I continued.

 

I kind of feel bad for his wife, but I couldn’t help myself. I liked the attention San was giving me, and although he never tried anything with me, I wish he had, but I knew he didn’t want to cheat on you.

 

Now I was getting ready to go meet everyone at the bar we agreed on, and I noticed how Seonghwa and Mingi were acting wired, and when I tried to engage in the conversation, they would ignore me.

 

I soon got bored and asked Wooyoung where San was, and his reply was cough me of gard.

 

“Goddamnit, can’t you stop? Can’t you stop being a pick me bitch?” Wooyoung said angrily, “Because of you, my two best friends might get divorced. Because of you, my best friend is crying her eyes out in my girlfriend’s apartment because of you. You don’t feel like she was good enough for San.”

 

“What do you mean by getting a divorce?” And why are you blaming me if she was the one who couldn’t keep him  happy?" I defended myself, then Mingi turned and began to talk.

 

“He was dumb; he was not thinking straight; he actually loves his wife. Now he regrets befriending you and losing her. He thought he wasn’t happy with her, but just a day without her is eating him alive. So Mandy, if you ever thought you could get a chance with San, well, you are wrong because San loves you. Even if they get into really bad fights, he will always choose her." Mingi added, trying to keep his anger down.

 

“Ill admit he was tempted by you; he was interested in you, but he never made an effort to try to seduce you; he never tried to cheat on you with you; he was acting dumb, and there’s no excuse for that. Now he regrets it deeply; he’s scared of losing his wife for good. So if I were you, I would try not to come across either of them." Seonghwa said calmly

 

I was so embarrassed for what they told me, so I just got up and left. I walked around the park for a bit and sat down on an empty bench. I didn’t know what to do. I really thought San would like me and leave you for me, but after hearing how much he loves her and how hurt he was, I started to feel like an asshole.

 

I took my phone out and tried to call San, but it went right to voicemail. I texted him, but he left me on hold for a few minutes. Then I got a message from him telling me he doesn’t want to see me ever again.

 

I feel bad. I could tell he was really upset, and all because of me, I try to think of something to fix everything, so I send a text to you, hoping she could talk to me.

 

Mandy: hello y/n  I heard what happened to you and San, and I was hoping we could talk.

 

Y/N: And why should we talk? You want to brag it on my face and tell me you won; tell me you could make my husband happier than I ever could.

 

Mandy: No, I want to apologize for my actions and try to help you fix your marriage.

 

Y/N: I don’t think there’s anything to save anymore; he made it clear last night.

 

Mandy: Please just hear me out; it won’t take long, I promise.

 

Y/N: Fine, meet me at the coffee place by KQ tomorrow morning.

 

Mandy: okay

 

The next day, I walked to the coffee shop that was closed by the KQ building and sat down in the back, where we could have some privacy.

 

After twenty minutes, Y/N finally arrived. She looked really bad, like she hadn’t slept in a while, but she still managed to look good. I could see why San liked her.

 

When she walked up to me, she looked like she wanted to hit me, but I guess she held herself back. She sat down in front of me and waited for me to say something.

 

I was nervous. I didn’t want to say something that would make everything worse, and although I should be happy that her and San were getting divorced, I felt bad because I could now see how deeply they love each other, and I was just standing in the way, so I had to make everything right. I wanted San to be happy, and his happiness was with you.

 

“I heard what you and San are going through, and I’m sorry it was because of me. I was selfish and not thinking of the harm I was doing you,” I said nervously.

 

“Did you and my husband sleep together?” She asked coldly.

 

"God, no, of course he would never do that,” I said in shock.

 

“You seem to know a lot about him, so tell me how many things he told you. Did he say I was a shit wife? Did he say I couldn’t sexually please him?” She said she was pissed.

 

“He didn’t say it like that; he was just angry; he didn’t mean it; he just said you couldn’t keep him happy like he wanted, and I agree, so I try to do what you didn't, I guess." I said I was scared of her reaction.

 

"Ah, so you also think I couldn’t keep my husband happy? Were you planning on sleeping with him? Did it make you happy that he was going to you instead of his wife?” She asked angrily.

 

“At first I did want to sleep with him, and I tried to, but he never noticed what I was doing; his mind was always on you. Every conversation we had was about you, and now that I think back, I can see that you were never the problem,” I said, looking at her.

 

"Well, it doesn’t matter anymore; our marriage is over, so you can get your change with him. I’m just upset that I was a terrible wife. I made him think he couldn’t talk to me about his feelings, and instead he went to you. I guess all this is my fault. I lost him when I should have been more attentive with him,” she said, crying.

 

“Yeah, this is not your fault; it’s his and mine. You should talk to him, talk things out, and work on your marriage. I know there’s still hope to fix it, and I hope you do. I’m sorry I came in between you guys. I can see he truly loves  you." I told her sincerely.

 

After that conversation, y/n left without saying anything else, and I just sat there feeling guilty. She was a nice person; she never treated me badly, not even when I flirted with her husband right in front of her. She didn’t deserve what’s happening, and I just hope she can work things out with San.

 

Guilt was eating me up. I might have sounded so pathetic for trying to get with a married man and now trying to help them get on good terms.

 

 

 

Y/n pov

 

When I left the coffee shop, I didn’t know what to think or what to do, so I just walked back to my friend's apartment and told her what Mandy said. She told me to think about what I wanted to do to take some time and not rush things, and she also told me I could stay with her for as long as I needed to.

 

After thinking about it for a while, I thought she was joking or that she was finding some sort of satisfaction in what was happening. But I just ignored it and tried not to think about it.

 

After a week, I was feeling better. I was still with my friend, and I haven’t talked to nor seen San since that night. Wooyoung didn’t like to talk about San because every time he would get pissed.

 

It was until almost three weeks when Seonghwa called me worried; he had texted me first, telling me I needed to pick up the phone because it was urgent. When he called, it was around two in the morning.

 

(on the phone)

Haw🥰:y/n  Sorryy to wake youup,p but you need to come to yours and San’s place. He’s not beeneating,g and he’s been drinking nonestop.pHee also beatMingi.i

 

You: Why is he drunk? Why is he acting up?

 

Haw🥰:Hee’s been crying andbreakingg stuff since the night you lefthim;m he’s only beendrinking,g and we don’t know what to do withhim.mAlll he’s sayingiss thatit'ss his fault that he lostyou,u andthat's whys he wants to see youagain.n

 

You: Well, I don’t want to see him; he’s been acting like an asshole and expects me to be cool about it.

 

Haw🥰: Iknow,w but he really needsyou.uPleasee come and help us calm himdown.nIff you don’t want to see him everagain,n weunderstand,d but just thisonce.e

 

You: Fine, I’ll be there in twenty, but you own me.

 

 

After the phone call, I got up, changed, and made my way to San’s place. I was kind of worried about him; he wasn’t a drinker, but he can still drink a shot of tequila, so I knew this was serious.

 

When I got to the apartment, I could hear the guys trying to calm San down; they were so loud that I could hear them from outside.

 

When I got to the door, I pulled my key and entered, and I saw the mess.

 

There were plates, clothes, and bottles everywhere. I could see picture frames around the place as well, and I heard sobbings coming from the bedroom, so I made my way up there.

 

The guys were outside the bedroom looking worried. They turned around and saw me. They ran up to me and asked me to help them.

 

I nodded and asked them to wait in the living room while I talked to San. I saw them as they walked away, then I turned to the bedroom door, took a deep breath, and tuned the nob to enter.

 

 

When I walked in, I saw that the room was messy and dark. I walked up to where San was and saw that he was crying, so I sat down to meet his legs and started talking to him.

 

“Hey San, let’s get you cleaned up and get you to bed; it’s late,” I said.

 

“I don’t want to. I need to fix my mistake. I need to call Y/N and ask her to take me back,” he said in between sobs.

 

“I know, but it’s late and you need to sleep. How about you sleep for a bit, then when you wake up, I’ll let you talk to her?” I asked him.

 

“Are you sure you promised me that? I really want to talk to her at last one last time because she decides to throw me out of her life,” he asked, hopeful.

 

“I promise, now go to sleep; the guys are worried sick,” I replied.

 

"Okay,” he whispered, “I hope she wants to talk. I miss her so much. I made a big mistake.”

 

"Okay, now sleep. I’ll tell the guys that you're good now, okay?" I said as I watched him cover himself.

 

After I made sure he was asleep, I walked out of the room, closed the door slowly, and made my way to the living room, where the guys were.

 

“Is he asleep now?”

 

“Is he okay?”

 

“Are you leaving?”

 

The guys began to ask as soon as they saw me enter the living room. I walked to one of the empty seats, sat down, and began to talk.

 

“He’s okay now; he’s sleeping, so there's nothing to worry about. You guys can go home now that it’s late,” I replied.

 

“What about you? Are you also leaving?” Hongjoong asked

 

“I’ll stay to clean up and wait for San to wake up so we can talk,” I replied.

 

“Do you want one of us to stay with you and help you clean?" Yeosang asked, looking around the room.

 

“I’ll stay and help her; you guys can go back home." Seonghwa replied, getting up from where he was sitting.

 

“I’ll stay, and I’ll help you guys clean." Jongho said

 

"Okay, grate, call us if you guys need anything; we’ll see you later." Mingi said, getting up and walking to the door.

 

After the rest of the guys left, Seonghwa and Jongho started cleaning up the stairs, and I cleaned the living room.

 

After an hour of cleaning, we were done, and I told the guys to go home and I'd stay the night in the guest bedroom, but Jongho insisted on staying in case I needed him, so I eventually agreed.

 

The next day, I woke up early and made breakfast soon after Jongho woke up, and we ate together before he left for work.

 

Once he left, I stayed behind. After I cleaned up the plates, I sat down in the living room, thinking of whether I should stay till San woke and talked or if I should leave, but I was interrupted by San walking down the stairs.

 

When I looked up, San was standing in the doorway of the living room, looking at me in shock.

 

“Yeah, you actually here. I thought I was hallucinating when I saw you last night,” he said as he took my hand in his

 

“The guys had called me because you were shitface drunk and they couldn’t handle you anymore." I said I was unimpressed.

 

"Shit, I know I have just been feeling like shit these past few days, and I missed you. The only way I could forget about everything was by getting drunk, but I guess I made it worse because it made me miss you even more,” he said in a broken tone.

 

“You need to stop drinking and apologize to the guys; they have to deal with you all the time. I swear Seonghwa was so stressed last night,” I replied back.

 

“We are not getting a divorce, right? Please tell me you won’t walk out of here. I can’t lose you. You have everything I want and need,” he said ignoring what I said as he walked up to me and got on his knees and begged.

 

"San, get up, please, and go take a shower. You stink so much of alcohol,” I said, getting up from the couch and pulling him up by his arms.

 

"No, unless you tell me you’ll be here when I get out of the bathroom, please promise you will stay here and wait so we can talk so I can win you back,” he really said, with home behind his sad eyes.

 

"Sure, fine, go. I’ll make you something to eat in the mean time,” I said, walking to the kitchen.

 

When San left, I made some soup to help with the hangover, placed a bowl on the dining table, and sat across from him and waited for San.

 

A few minutes passed, and San walked in, sat across from me, and began to eat in silence, but I could feel him looking at me once in a while.

 

After he was done, he took his place in the sink, walked back to his seat, and began talking.

 

 

“Yeah, I know what I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have gone to another woman and talked to her about our problems. I shouldn’t have let myself get carried away with her. I messed up and I hurt you so much, and it kills me to know that you might ask me for divorce, and I won’t blame you.” He said he was fidgeting with his fingers.

 

“My only question is, why did you go to her and why didn’t you talk to me instead? Did I make you feel like I couldn’t trust me?” I asked, looking at him.

 

“To be honest, it was because I’m stupid. I thought if I talked to someone else, they might know what I should do, but I was completely wrong,” he said, ashamed of himself.

 

“Did I not make you happy enough? Was I not a good enough wife for you? Did you at any point have feelings for her?” I asked, feeling insecure.

 

“Oh no, of course not. I never had feelings for her; she was only a friend, and you are an amazing wife, the best wife in the world. It’s me, the one who’s been a bad husband. I’m so sorry, baby. I feel like shit for hurting the most important person to me.”

He said he was stretching his hand out to me.

 

“Y/n baby, please give me a second chance, and I'll promise to be a good husband. I’ll never hurt you or ever gain. I can’t have you away from me for too long; it’s hurting me too much. I’m so sorry, princess. Please forgive me,” he said as he squeezed my hand.

 

“It’s going to take a while for me to fully forgive you. I still feel hurt, but I’ll take you back if you promise me to go to couples therapy because we really need it,” I said, giving him a small smile.

 

"Yes, of course, I’ll do anything for you. I’ll also promise you that I’m the husband you deserve, and I’ll never screw up again. I’m scared to lose you, so I’ll do anything not to lose the love of my life,” he said, standing up and walking up to me and hugging me.

 

I truly knew he would change because I could see through him and tell that he regrets what he did, and that’s good enough for me. I know that by taking our stuff out, we’ll be better and not have any more problems. I believe in him.

I hope you enjoy it I liked it up until the end let me know what you think I’ll do better next time I have another Fic that I’m working on. I’m the future I might come back and edit it but for now that is how it will stay.

[peaxhxhair]

Bad day || Husk

Pairing: Husk x Gn! Reader

Warnings: No use of Y/n in this fic!Drinking.

A/n: I have a feeling that 90% of my Hazbin fics will be ooc LMAO

“Husk dear, can I get another?” You say as you push your glass towards the bartender. Today had not been a happy day in hell - quite the opposite actually. Working in hell was always horrible, but working for the Vee’s was something else. Though, some are worse than others..

Working for Velvette was a job full of insults and being told that you’re shit at your job. Not once had you had a good day at work. Yet, you were aware that Velvette’s insults and harsh management were nothing compared to what other sinners were going through.

For the most part, you kept your feelings to yourself - instead choosing to drink. Husk was probably the most important person to you - being the one to pour your drinks and all.

“What the hell is wrong with you anyway?” He asks, as he pours whiskey into your glass before handing it back to you. Apparently your dismay was obvious because he noticed it immediately, choosing not to say anything until now. “Something on your mind?” He rephrases his question, and you force a smile onto your face, before Downing the liquid in your glass.

“My boss is really shitty” You say, eyebrows furrowed. He chuckles at your words, refilling your glass again.

“Join the club, baby” he says, leaning against the counter in front of you. You chuckle at him, but nod. Everyone in hell has a shitty boss. It was the home of shitty bosses after all. “The bee's giving you trouble?” His expression is concerned, and he refills your glass every time you empty it.

“Just Velvette. Though that’s probably the contract, huh?” You laugh, resting your chin in the palm of your hand. You felt stupid making a deal with Velvette, but you had no other option. That was years ago, yet you haven’t managed to break that contract yet. So, you were stuck working for her, dedicated to fashion 24/7.

You agreed to come to the hotel, in an attempt to be redeemed, and to maybe live normally for once. No luck yet.

Husk doesn't say much, just listening to what you had to say. Though, he was paying attention to how much you drank, eventually replacing alcohol with water. You, of course, noticed immediately.

“You cut me off, kitty?”

“You’ve had enough, baby” he says, pushing the glass of water towards you. You drink it anyway. You look down at the counter as he slides across another glass of water.

“You’re too nice to me” you were joking, but she seemed to take it seriously.

“Someone has to” His ears flick, and he turns away from you, returning to polishing a glass.

“Thanks kitty…”

[gredandforgeweatherby]

Forget About Him

Ben Gross x reader

WC: 858 Warnings: Swearing? Takes place during the dance in 2x10. Reader has envious/jealous feelings towards Devi, but no Devi hate

Ben was walking through the hall when he heard a sniffle. Confused, he poked his head into the nearby classrooms before finally spotting you in one. You were sitting at a random desk, dress flowing uncomfortably around your body in the same space between the table and your body. Your makeup had tear tracks through it, your mascara running down slightly with the tears that stained your face. Your face was warm and a bit splotchy from crying, your nose red.

If you had been in a more normal state of mind, you would have been upset that the person who found you was Ben. You and Ben had a slightly complicated relationship, sometimes being friendly while other times it seemed the two of you couldn’t hate each other more. It was different from him and Devi’s relationship; their relationship thrived on academic rivalry and one upping each other with insults. It seemed like when you and Ben were in a hate stage, you two genuinely hated each other. Though, the hate was one sided on your part, but you didn’t know that.

Ben slowly walked into the class, cautious of the fact that you could start yelling at him for talking to you while you were in this state.

“Y/n?” He asked cautiously. You looked up, confused as to why Ben was here as you weren’t expecting him. “What’s going on? What happened?” He walked over to you, sitting in the desk next to you, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Nothing, it’s stupid.” You said, looking away, “You’ll probably laugh at and insult me so.”

Ben was hurt that you’d think he would make fun of something that was making you so upset, but as he always played along with your “I hate you game”, he understood why you’d think that.

“Y/n, I’m not gonna laugh at you, or-or insult you.” He said gently, making you look back to him, “Seriously, what’s going on?”

You took a deep breath before speaking. “I got played. You know, I thought that someone wanted me when they didn’t and it sucks.”

Ben nodded, knowing how that felt. He decided to tell you about his experience to try and make you feel better about your own.

“Well, uh, I’ve been played too. Yeah you know, Devi played Paxton and I at the same time so, I know how you feel. And you’re right, it does suck.”

“Yeah I knew about that,” You said, nodding your head, “I’m sorry she did that. It’s shitty.”

Ben agreed with you, nodding his head when a quiet “yeah” slipped past his lips.

“I thought he liked me. He said he did so much and always would make me feel so… wanted and then he ditched me for someone else.”

“Look, whoever it is and whoever they ditched your for, forget about them alright?”

“It was Paxton. He ditched me for Devi, after he told me he wasn’t interested in Devi. She double times him and he wants her, I mean what does she have that I don’t?”

“Nothing y/n,” Ben shook his head, leaning his elbows on his legs to get closer to you, “there is nothing that Devi has that you don’t. You’re beautiful and smart and funny and really witty, trust me I’d know. Paxton played you and yeah, it sucks and it hurts, I know, but don’t think that it happened because of you. It’s his loss y/n, seriously.”

You looked over at Ben, sniffling. He was right, and somewhere in you you knew it.

“Thanks Ben. You actually made me feel a lot better.” A laugh slipped past your lips.

Ben chuckled too, “Yeah I often have that effect on people.” He said, smiling.

“You know if I had found you in this position I probably would have made fun of you. It wouldn’t be every day you see Ben Gross crying during a dance, so.”

He laughed, looking down for a second before meeting your eyes again. “I know.”

“But I’m glad you kept your word and didn’t make fun of me. It means a lot.”

“Of course.” He nodded. Suddenly he stood up, placing his hand out to you. “Come on.”

You stared at him questioningly.

“We are gonna clean your makeup up and then we’re going back to the dance, and you are going to forget all about Paxton and Devi and anything else that would make you upset, and you are going to have a great time. Maybe you’ll even save a dance for me.” He smiled at you.

You couldn’t hold back your smile as you stood, grabbing his hand.

He led you to the bathroom and waited outside while you tried to salvage your makeup through your tears, then walked back to the dance with you.

You and Ben danced all night together, getting along better than anyone had ever seen. That was the first night you began looking at Ben Gross in a different light, the first night he gave you butterflies. Ben, on the other hand, savored that night, not knowing how long the bliss between the two of you would last.

Good thing for him, that bliss never seemed to go away.

[okdeannawrites]

If you feel like it...

Sterek: "I thought you were on my side."

#53 of Drabble List #12

Whatever It Takes (🔒ao3)

“I thought you were on my side.”

Derek stiffened mid-climb through Stiles’s window. “What?”

Stiles tossed his headphones onto his desk and swiveled his chair to face the window. “You told my dad you agree with him about waiting until I graduate college.”

“It’s your dad, Stiles. Of course, I agreed with him.”

Shaking his head, Stiles gave him a disappointed look. “I’m over eighteen. I’m a legal adult and I can make my own decisions but instead of allowing me to do that, the two of you decided to make them for me. How exactly is that you being on my side?”

“Stiles—”

“No. No,” he snapped, shoving his chair back and getting to his feet. “You don’t get to make me feel bad about this. You went behind my back, Derek. You had a whole ass conversation with my father, and the two of you agreed for you and I to wait when you both knew how I felt about that. And for what? Because you think I’ll lose focus at school? Drop out? Give up my goals, my dreams, my future career? You would hate it if I did that to you, so why the hell did you think it was a good idea to do it to me?”

“Because of my age, right?” he asked, glaring at Derek as he continued his verbal assault. “Because I’m so much younger than you and therefore, I can’t possibly know what I want. How I might feel. That’s a shitty thing to put on someone, especially when you know it’s such bullshit.”

Derek frowned at that. “It’s not. It’s not bullshit. And I know you think you’re ready, that you want it, and I get that might be true. But Stiles…just because you’re ready doesn’t mean I am.”

“Then you could have communicated that to me. Instead, you had that talk with my dad, who is delighted that you were so sensible and levelheaded about things.” Stiles turned his back then and started tossing a few things into one of his duffle bags. “I’m heading out in the morning. Going back to school a few days early. I don’t know when my next break will be, if I’ll even take one. I mean, the sooner I get done with school the sooner I can make decisions for myself, right?”

“Stiles, that isn’t—”

“Isn’t it?” he asked, whirling around to face him again. “Isn’t it exactly what you wanted for me? To head back and get done with school. To put off you and me becoming an us so I go back and get my degree. That’s what you two decided, and so that’s what I’ll do. I’ll be the dutiful little Stiles and go back to campus and do all my work and forget about the fact that the man I wanted to be with chose not to be with me because he thinks he knows what I need better than I know it.”

Derek reached out then but Stiles darted away from him, putting himself on the other side of the bed from him. “No. No, Derek, you don’t get to touch me. You don’t get to try and placate me. You did this, and now you get to live with it. Until I come back.”

If. If he came back. That’s what he was really saying. That’s what Derek heard him say. “You’re punishing me. For wanting what’s best for you. How is that fair?”

“Best for me.” He narrowed his eyes. “Are you for real right now? You can’t possibly be for real right now. Because the only person in this room, in this whole fucking town, who gets to determine what is best for me is me,” he said, jabbing a thumb to his own chest. “No one else gets to decide that. Not you, not my dad, not Scott. Not anyone. Just me, and screw all of you for thinking that you do. That you’re allowed.”

When Derek reached for him again, Stiles batted his hands away. “No. I am a fully functioning and capable human being. I have my own mind, my own feelings, and all of you completely disregarded that. And don’t think I don’t know Scott had his grubby little werewolf paws in on this because I know that he did.”

“You can tell me you aren’t ready. I can understand that. But that’s not the truth here. The truth is you didn’t trust me to know my own feelings, my own heart, and that…that isn’t okay. If you can’t trust me, Derek, we can’t be together. If you can’t talk to me, tell me what you’re thinking, why you’re thinking it, then this is never going to work. And that’s because you won’t let it, or maybe just don’t want it to, work.”

He blinked back tears and moved to pull some of his clothes off his hangers, all but shoving them down into his bag. “You should go. I have to pack, and I don’t need the distraction your presence causes right now.”

The words hurt, but so did the knowledge that he’d screwed up. Badly. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have—”

“No, you shouldn’t have. But you did it, and now you can’t undo it. There is no going back from this, man. There is no work around. You three took my autonomy away, and I can’t deal with that. Or accept it. Not anymore.”

Derek pushed his hands into the pocket of his leather jacket, knowing better than to try and reach for him again. “If I call, will you pick up?”

“No. Not for a while. You wanted this. You wanted me to focus, so I’m going to focus. Without you. Without any of you. Maybe then, after I graduate and decide where I want to go, what I want to do, I’ll see if you can fit into my life. But I won’t plan for that. I will never plan for that. Not ever again.”

He finished shoving a few things into his bag then straightened and looked toward his bedroom door. “I left some things downstairs. I need to go and get them. Please be gone before I come back. I—can’t do this anymore.” Then he was gone.

Derek shut his eyes against the silence of the room then craned his hearing to pick up on Stiles’s dad talking and Stiles ignoring him as he picked up all the things he’d left downstairs. The anger in the house, the disappointment and hurt, was almost unbearable. Worse, it was all his fault.

He never should have listened to Scott. Or Noah. He never should have let his own fears, his own failures, cloud his judgment. Because if he hadn’t, Stiles wouldn’t be hurting, and he wouldn’t be leaving a full week earlier than he was supposed to do.

Instead, they’d be on the bed, laughing and enjoying all the days they had left to spend together. Now, Derek had no idea if he would ever share those days with him again. And he had no one but himself to blame.

Because at the end of the day, he was the one who let Stiles down. He was the one who took away his right to choose, and that…was worse than anything else Derek could ever have done to him.

He knew what that was like. Not having a choice, and the fact that he’d done it to Stiles, a person who had always made sure to give him a choice, to give him a chance, nearly crippled him.

Derek turned and stalked toward the window. Even placed his hands on it to leave as Stiles asked, but then he sensed the apprehension in the air, the fear that followed Stiles’s trek back up to his room.

It was the fear that kept him rooted. It was the fear that held him back. Made him turn and watch as Stiles opened the door, his brown eyes wide as he realized Derek hadn’t left. That he hadn’t disappeared.

“You’re still here. Why are you still here?”

Derek looked at him. “I love you. I didn’t show it, and I didn’t say it, and I didn’t factor it into my decisions. I’m sorry. I owe you more than that and I’m sorry I didn’t give it to you.”

He pushed away from the window and didn’t stop until he stood in front of Stiles. “I do support you. In everything. And I am on your side. I should have remembered that when Scott came to me about his worries and your dad spoke to me about his. I let their feelings get into my head because of how much they love you, and I didn’t realize that by agreeing with them, I was essentially telling you I didn’t care enough to want you or listen to you or love you. That isn’t true. I’m sorry I made you think it was, even for a moment.”

Stiles dropped the items in his hands. “You said the words.”

“I did.”

“You asshole! You weren’t supposed to say those words to me. You were supposed to let me go. You were supposed to—”

“Support you and love you and tell you I trust you,” he interrupted, closing the last bit of distance between them. “I do, Stiles. I do trust you. Not just with my life, but with my heart. You earned that, and I promise I will do whatever it takes to earn yours again. Because you are right. I don’t want to wait until after you graduate. I don’t want to wait to become whatever can be together. I want you now. I’m ready for you now and I was lying to myself, lying to you, by pretending something differently.”

Stiles squinted at him. “What about my dad?”

“I respect your dad. A lot. But you were right in what you said to me. This is your decision, and I had no right—we had no right—to try and make it for you. Whatever we are to each other is between you and me, and the only ones who get to decide what we are—when we are—is you and me.” Derek drew in a breath and dared to ask, “So, what are we, Stiles? What are we going to be?”

“What do you want us to be?”

“I want everything with you. All of it. Date nights. Coffee and breakfast and afternoon reading times and just…all of it. All of you. All of us. As soon as you’re ready to have it with me.”

Stiles tilted his head, studying him thoughtfully. “What about school? What about my career plans?”

“I’ll move to Virginia, I’ll support you in finishing school, and I’ll go wherever you choose to go after that, too. If you’ll have me.”

Stiles frowned. “You’ll just upend your whole life. For me. What about the auto garage you just bought? And your house?”

He shrugged. “The house will be there. Peter and Malia can run the garage. I’ll hire a few outside mechanics to work on the cars with them. It’ll be fine.”

“You trust Peter and Malia to run your garage for you?”

“Peter is a businessman. He knows a good investment when he sees one, and purchasing the garage was a good investment. He’ll keep it running, and Malia will help him. She’s surprisingly good at fixing things. They both are. Believe it or not, Peter used to work on cars in high school. He knows his way around a motor just as well as I do. Maybe even more given he’s the one who taught me about them.” Derek looked at him. “You haven’t told me what you want yet. If it’s me.”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Of course I want you. Did you hear me berating you about it when you came in? You know damn well I—”

Derek didn’t let him finish. Instead, he caught his mouth with his, letting him know just how invested Derek was in the two of them. When he pulled back, Stiles looked dazed…and one hundred percent resolved as he spoke, “I want this. I want you. So much.”

“Then it’s done,” Derek assured him. “I’ll pack up and join you in Virginia. I’m sure I can find a house close to campus. We can date. Spend time together. And then, when we’re ready for more, we can do that, too.”

Stiles furrowed his brow. “You’re sure? This is what you want. It’s not something I bullied or guilted you into. You really—”

“I want this,” he promised, interrupting again. His lips spread into a smile as he wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him in closer. “I want you, and not out of guilt or bullying or any of that. I want you for you. Just you.”

Twin arms wrapped around his neck as Stiles softly whispered, “Thank you. Thank you for listening to me and knowing what a big mistake letting me go would be. I love you and I don’t want to—”

Derek lightly gripped his hair and gently pulled his head back until he could meet his eyes. “You love me. Still?”

“I love you always. Even when you piss me off and make me want to shove my bat up your—"

Derek didn’t wait for him to finish his statement. He simply kissed him again. Telling him with words, showing him with lips, what the moment, the admission, meant to him.

It had been a long time since he heard those words from someone, and even longer since he believed them.

With Stiles, he believed.

He would do whatever it took to never forget that fact again.

Stiles deserved that. And so did he.

Side note: @millinerswings I didn't forget about the other prompt ask I owe you. I'm working on it!

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

reader comforting sad ethan?? like could be something his dad was suggesting/saying and ethans really frustrated. had prob been avoiding girlfriend! reader for a bit bc of the whole plan thing. hes prob reconsidering it all bc its been the happiest hes been in his LIFE and he feels like a shitty bf for the shit abt to happen. but he obviously cant talk abt it so he tries to shut her out, which doesnt work clearly. its up to you if you wanna include smut (tbh dont see dom! ethan existing here) but definitely just angst to fluff! this boy needs a hug ):

Okay, hi! I was about to go to bed when I got this request, and just HAD to write it. No smut, I thought it was better without it. I hope you like it:)

Everything We Need - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend is feeling guilty about being Ghostface, and wants to do whatever he can to protect you.

A/N: I LOVE THIS. There's just something about sad Ethan that makes me love him even more🥹

When Ethan met up with Quinn and his dad, he felt sick to his stomach. The plan that had been in the works for a year was coming to fruition, as two wannabe Ghostface’s had met their demise. He really wanted to back out. For the first time in his life, he had someone in his life that made him want to get up every day, and that’s been weighing heavy on his mind.

“Ethan, are you listening?” Wayne asked, Quinn rolling her eyes.

“He’s probably thinking about his girlfriend,” she scoffed, as Wayne’s face got even more serious.

“You need to keep your head in this. Don’t you let some little bitch keep you from doing what we’re all here to do,” he said, scanning his sons face. “Richie would never let me down.”

His dad always used that against Ethan. Richie and his dad were so close, while Ethan didn’t get the whole father-son bonding experience he craved. That’s why he agreed to go along with this plan in the first place. He wanted his fathers love so badly that he was willing to kill for it.

“I know, dad. I won’t let you down,” he said, as Wayne started to discuss the plan further.

“Wait, does Ethan’s little girlfriend have to die, too?” Quinn asked, as a lump formed in Ethan’s throat.

“Shut the fuck up, Quinn!” Ethan yelled, as his dad stood there, thinking about the best way to respond.

“She might. I don’t know yet. You might want to distance yourself from her. If she finds out, she will have to die,” Wayne said, as Ethan’s eyes started to water. A single tear slipped down his cheek, quickly wiping it away with his hand.

“Ethan, I don’t think I can count on you for this. Your head is obviously somewhere else, as usual,” he said, shaking his head. “Why can’t you be strong like Richie was?”

The rest of their meeting consisted of Ethan getting berated by Quinn and his father. He knew he needed to keep you safe, so he decided that maybe he should put a little distance between the two of you. He felt like shit that your friends were on the literal chopping block, and he knew how badly this would hurt you if you ever found out he was a part of it.

He ignored every text you’d sent him for the last few days. He declined every FaceTime. You were really starting to worry about him. Aside from the worrying, your heart hurt, because you’d just taken his virginity before he stopped talking to you. You couldn’t help but wonder if that had anything to do with why he pretty much ghosted you.

As you were on your way to Sam and Tara’s, you sent Ethan another text asking if he was going to be there. You hoped for a reply, but you never got one.

You sat around the living room with Anika, Mindy, Tara, and Quinn when Chad walked in. You waited for Ethan to walk in, but he never did.

“Hey, what’s up, guys?” Chad said, taking a seat next to Tara.

“Where’s Ethan?” Tara asked, knowing you wanted the answer.

“Oh, he was going to come, but he decided last minute to stay at the dorm,” Chad said, before looking over to you, “He didn’t tell you he wasn’t coming?”

“No,” you whispered, as Quinn rolled her eyes. She couldn’t stand you and hoped that Ethan wouldn’t have taken their dad’s advice. She wanted nothing more than to make you one of her victims.

“That’s really weird,” Mindy said, a confused look on her face. “Maybe you should go check on him.”

“He ignores me every time I try to contact him,” you said, “I don’t think he wants to see me.”

“That’s definitely weird because he won’t shut up about how much he misses you.”

You were so confused, but you tried to ignore the urge to go see him. Maybe he was just going through something and needed space, but you still thought it was strange that he didn’t tell you what was going on with him.

As everyone got ready to leave, you pulled Chad to the side.

“Is Ethan okay?” you asked, as Chad shook his head.

“He’s always talking about you, but he isn’t sleeping. He’s barely eating. I don’t know what’s going on with him,” he responded, a little bummed that his friend wasn’t doing well.

“I think I’m going to go see him,” you sighed, pulling your jacket on.

“I’ll be there soon, I want to hang out with Tara for a little bit,” he said.

You nodded as you grabbed your phone and started the walk to his dorm. When you got there, you knocked on the door, hoping that he was home.

Your mouth dropped when you saw his face as he opened the door. His eyes were sunken in, he was very pale. He looked like a shell of his former self.

“Baby, what’s going on?” you asked as he gestured you in.

He sat down on his bed beside you but didn’t want to speak. He didn’t want to put you in danger.

“Please talk to me,” you said, tears welling up in your eyes.

Hot, fat tears started to flow down his cheeks. You pulled him close to you as he sobbed into your chest.

“I don’t know why you want to be with me. I’m worthless,” he cried, your heart shattering at his words.

“Baby, why do you think that? You aren’t worthless,” you said, a few tears slipping past your bottom lashes.

“I’m nothing. I’m weak. I don’t deserve you,” he was choking out his words between sobs as your fingers ran through his hair.

“Ethan, I love you. I love you with all my heart. I don’t want you to talk about yourself like that. You’re perfect the way you are,” you whispered to him as you kissed his forehead.

“No, I’m not. My dad always compares me to my brother. He’s always been the golden child while I’ve been the black sheep of the family,” he said, your nails gently dragging across his scalp as you tried to soothe him. He’s never mentioned his family, and it really pissed you off that anyone could make this sweet boy feel this way.

“You’re always golden to me, baby. You mean so much to me, and it breaks my heart that you feel this way.”

In that moment, everything clicked in Ethan’s head. He knew he didn’t need his dad because he has you. Someone that loves him unconditionally.

“What if we just leave?” he asked, sitting up to look at you.

“Why do you want to leave?” you asked, taking his hand in yours.

“It isn’t safe here. I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he said, his eyes pleading with yours.

You started to think about it. All classes have been cancelled for the last week. Most of the students have already returned home because of what happened to the guys from the Film Studies class.

“Where do you want to go?” you asked, smiling at him.

“I don’t care. I want to get as far away as possible,” he said, standing up. “I’ll grab what I’ll need, and we’ll go to your dorm next.”

You helped him grab the necessities, noticing things you knew he’d need that he didn’t seem to care about in his current state. He grabbed stacks of clothes, piling them in his suitcase.

“Can you sit on this for me so I can zip it?” he asked, as you giggled. You did what he asked as he sighed in relief, ready to get your stuff so you could get the fuck out of the state.

You walked out of the dorm and went around the back of it.

“Wait here,” Ethan said, running over to the dumpster. He pulled the robe, mask, and knife out of his backpack, throwing it away.

He was smiling when he came back over to you, looking like the normal Ethan you fell in love with. He picked you up and spun you around, before kissing you.

“I love you,” he said, as he sat you back down and his forehead rested against yours.

“I love you, too.”

Once you arrived at your dorm, you grabbed everything you needed in a matter of minutes. Ethan was deep in thought as he sat on your bed.

“You having second thoughts about this?” you joked, as he shook his head.

“No, there’s nothing more that I want than to get away from here with you,” he said, placing a kiss to your forehead. “Can we take your car?”

“I was kind of hoping that was the plan,” you laughed, as you double-checked the room to make sure you weren’t missing anything. “Let’s get out of here.”

Your hand was in his as you walked through the student parking lot to your car. Once you made it there, Ethan asked you to get in so he could put the luggage in the trunk. You thought about how Chad mentioned that Ethan hadn’t slept in days, so you decided that it’d be best if you drove.

He started to feel uneasy, so he felt around under the bumper of your car.

“That stupid bitch,” he muttered, pulling off the tracking device Quinn must’ve put on your car.

“Okay, we’re ready. I just need to run by the ATM before we leave,” he said, as you looked at him, confused.

“Uh, my dad has experience with finding people, and I don’t want him to see my card transactions wherever we end up going,” he explained, as you nodded.

You pulled up to the ATM as he handed you his card and told you the pin.

“How much?” you asked, entering the pin on the pad.

“Let’s get two thousand for now,” he said, as you turned to look at him.

“How much money do you have in here?” you asked, your eyes wide. It’s not everyday a college kid pulls two grand out of their bank account.

“I have a lot. When my mom died, she left a lot of money to me,” he said, as you rubbed your hand against his thigh.

“I didn’t know that babe. I’m sorry,” you said, withdrawing the money and handing it to him.

As the two of you crossed state lines, he finally stopped looking behind him. You felt a little nervous that he was so concerned, almost like he thought you were being followed. The further you drove, the more exhausted you started to get.

“We might need to stop soon,” you said, Ethan’s tired eyes looking you over.

“Okay, let’s take the next exit. We can get a hotel room for the night,” he said, as you nodded, a yawn slipping out.

Once you got to the room, he crawled onto the bed. You helped him take his shoes off before you snuggled up beside him.

“Thank you,” he said, as he laid his head on your chest.

“For what?” you asked, starting to relax in the bed.

“For loving me as much as you do.”

[moonchild-in-blue]

Massive thank you to you and everyone else who calls out how shitty it is to get mad at peoples interpretations. Sleep tokens music is romantic. Its also toxic. These statements can coexist. Its not your business if someone plays bloodsport or vore or hell even atlantic at their wedding. Youre not them, you dont know what the music means to them. If you see a weird take just roll your eyes and move on, its not a big deal. Absolutely sick and fucking tired of all these "why are you calling this romantic/sexy? Youre stupid and a terrible person!" takes like fucking relax. Media literacy is important yes. Respecting that this music is dark and personal to vessel is also important. Same goes for respecting how people relate to the music in dark ways. But as long as people are not saying things directly to vessel or fans about how their individual trauma is sexy then just chill out and respect peoples different interpretations. It sucks that i cant talk about how i view certain songs without being called horrible things and having really fucked up vitriol aimed at me. Yall need to grow the fuck up and get over yourselves. Im not thinking of your personal shit when i call a certain song romantic/sexy, i dont even know you, sometimes im thinking of my own trauma actually lol. Lets all discuss this music maturely where we respect each other and what each of us as individuals bring to the table for interpretation, stop making this fandom toxic as hell for anyone who doesnt agree 100% with your own interpretation. (Also the whole "youre not allowed to say this song is romantic/sexy" thing is very dismissive of some peoples trauma in itself, it ignores how messy someones feelings toward their abusers/toxic partners can be. Pretty fucked up to call a trauma survivor stupid or a terrible person because a song reminds them of their positive feelings towards someone who hurt them) Anyways yeah, just tired of people being so harsh because they refuse to see other peoples perspectives. I genuinely think one of the most toxic aspects of this fandom is the vitriol over different interpretations, people act like outright children at times with it im ngl, especially with more sexual discussions. It also feels infantilizing towards vessel at times, hes a grown adult who put romantic/sexy elements in his music and he doesnt need people trying to protect him from those themes. Im rambling but this stuff pisses me off so much, this fandom needs to do better

Context post for the clueless ones - regarding my tags/replies

Here's the thing - I've been in fandoms for many, many, MANY years. This type of discussion isn't anything new nor unique to Sleep Token, but it sure does make a comeback quite often. It's tiring to keep repeating the same things over and over, but that's what fandom is all about isn't it?

Someone needs to say something, and I am not one to shy away from uncomfortable conversations like these. Something something, build your own community, be the change you wanna see, etc etc.

I've said pretty much everything I wanna say already under that post, but for the sake of clarity, and because I can't keep my mouth shut apparently -

Under the cut for length - you know the drill:

Music is art. And art is subjective. Meaning, each individual will have their own personal connection and interpretation of a given piece of art, which in this case is Sleep Token's music.

Did Vessel write the songs with a certain intent or meaning? Most likely yes! It's not hard to connect the dots and guess what events/emotions might've transpired and served as inspiration for them (accuracy to personal life is irrelevant and none of our business, but it's also no rocket science to understand what's been said).

Can we establish a base meaning for any given song, or better, can we have a general consensus of what a song is about based on its lyrics and themes? Absolutely! Not every song is like that, but we can all agree there's a lot of recurring themes of past relationships and mental health struggles.

Is it wrong to diminish the songs to one basic element (eg. the sexual undertones) and/or completely disregard the bigger, more important theme? I'd say it is.

Giving Atlantic as an example (which as a lot of you know, is my most favourite song of them and very dear to me): this one has some very blatant references to suicide and depression. Regardless of whether it is based on irl events or not (none of our business!!!), it is extremely heavy and emotionally charged. I find it incredibly disrespectful when people say random stuff during the rituals when he plays this one.

Or for example, how certain people reduce Sleep Token to "baby making metal", instead of acknowledging the insane (insane!) variety of genres and the profound lyricism they present.

Should we limit our views, and by extension, those of others, to surface-level interpretation, without allowing room for different views and interpretations, either fictional lore based or not? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Vessel himself said to "not restrict ourselves to labels or genres because music transcends it all" (paraphrasing here). It's literally their whole thing. It's very hypocritical to be shouting from the rooftops about "media literacy" and assuming people are stupid or idiots for not understanding the basic, surface-level meaning of a song, when Vessel himself constantly writes in metaphors and half-truths.

I've touched on this a lifetime ago on one of my analysis, but if you *actually* look at the lyrics, you'll realise Vessel hardly ever says what he means. There's always something else behind his words, something he purposefully keeps hidden. It really sneaks upon you sometimes! I'm over a year in and I still find something new everyday on their music. That man has a way to weave in a hundred and one statements under a single sentence, that is just truly beautiful to study.

Is, say, The Love You Want, about a man (Vessel) mourning the fact that his love isn't reciprocated? Yeah! Is it about someone who, despite knowing they can never receive from their lover the attention and affection and care they want, will stay by their side anyways? It is!

Is it about bitterness, spiteful accusations aimed at the one person who should love you fully? Or a reflection of how little self-regard the singer has, so much that they are willingly and actively choosing to stay in a sinking one-sided relationship, because the alternative is too painful to bare? Can you flip the switch and see it as someone who is obsessively pursuing another person, and painting themselves as a victim? All of this, yes!

You can even eliminate the romantic aspect all together and apply it to a relationship with the self (past or future, or an alter ego), or a parental figure. The options are endless. There isn't one universal truth when it comes to music, and as such, all of these takes are 100% correct.

Many statements can be true at the same time - it doesn't make one more true or correct than the other. Simply different. The way we connect with music is very much dictated by our own life experiences, and no two people have lived the exact same life.

Can you prefer a certain way to look at a song, or completely disagree with certain takes? Absolutely! I know I sure as hell do! That's normal and expected and part of the fun in being in a community such as ours. More people means more ways to look at a song - isn't that just wonderful?!

Now, this is very obvious for most of us, but some people, especially in the younger rage, have been taught to look at things in a very black and white way. Not to be that person, but the truth is that the rise in awareness of social issues and "pc-ness", is slowly starting to eliminate the possibility of things being flawed and nuanced.

If you're wrong, you're awful. If you're right, you're obnoxious. Made a mistake? Get cancelled. Grow from your mistakes, but not like that. Learn from your actions, but change your whole personality in a day otherwise you're problematic.

You know what I mean.

Life isn't black and white. Art isn't black and white. Music isn't black and white. What may seem like a toxic, dark, obsessive depiction of a relationship to you, might translate to the deepest and most truest of loves to me. I can acknowledge something is Not Right, while still drawing my own conclusions.

Is Blood Sport a sad af song? Yeah! Definitely not the first thing I'd think of when in a happy relationship. But maybe that's the point. And maybe I do. And that's okay, and none of anyone's business. "Okay but The Apparition isn't a good example of a healthy and romantic-" TO YOU! Maybe that's what love looks like to me! Maybe I just happen to be into it! And what about it?

Maybe to me love comes with all the ugly sides too. The violence, the despair, the self-doubt. Who are you to dictate what I can or can't think? I highly doubt Vessel would go 🗣️ "WRONG! NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! >:::(", so why would you?

You can, and should, discuss the songs with others! Maybe some people do genuinely need a fresh pair of eyes to help them get to the juicy core of the songs - that's why we're here! To discuss, and exchange ideas! You can, and should, call people out when their engagement with the music is being harmful to others (joking and laughing during Missing Limbs? No bueno. Speculating about Vessel's personal life? VERY no bueno. Choosing a potentially weird song to walk down the aisle? None of your business + not your wedding + you weren't even invited + none of your business. Notice how I've been repeating that. Notice again).

You shouldn't, however, shame and ridicule others for having different views from you.

I think, rather than engaging in pointless discussions and start accusing people of being this or that, we should all exercise a little "don't like? scroll past". Is it harming you or others? No? Then scroll past! Is it an awful, truly horrendous take about something you're really passionate about? Okay! Disgusting! Scroll past! Good for them! 👍

Also - keep an open mind. We're all doing this living businesse for the first time, no one holds all the answers to everything. It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to say the wrong thing and backtrack. It's okay to make a mistake and learn and grow.

You know what's not okay? Being a dick to others because the thing you like is being misinterpreted. It's hard, I know!!! You can block people! You can scroll past! You can look at pictures of your favourite vessel and cleanse your brain!!!! I know I do!!!!!

And this is a last afterthought but - you don't get to complain about the fandom you're in if you're doing nothing to change that. I see many, maaaaany of you bitch about this and that, while having 0 engagement aside from the bitching. Like?? Maybe if you spent more time reblogging cool art or gifs and less time whining about literally everything, this would be a much more pleasant space!! And I DO get to be a little petty here because I sure do try my best to make this a fun and nice community. I am allowed a little bitching 😌

Anyways, tl/dr: don't be a dick; don't like - don't engage; keep an open mind; gaze upon the vessels. Peace and love yall 💙💫

[pruneunfair]

Hi okay- I’m a huge remarried empress fan, but I enjoy it seperate from tne fandom. That being said- you have so many great points.

1) I do believe the story may have changed, because this is supposed to be based off a web novel. Like an actual novel. Often times they will deviate from the novel to change the story. Take Who Made Me a Princess. The artist at the end of it did say they changed the story ending for it. So it’s very plausible.

2. SOUVESHU (look I’m a fan but I can never remember how to spell) DEFINETLY GROOMED RASHTA!! Though I don’t agree with her actions, I have 100% acknowledged and know she is deeply traumatized. And he most likely took advantage of that. He saw her as young and pure, something Navier was not. And he wanted to preserve that. Rashta is clearly traumatized, and her mental health is not healthy. It is easy to take advantage and manipulate sadly because she does not know the warnings. He groomed her and when she was finally trying to be more like someone she thought he wanted, Navier, he lashed out. No one gets she is constantly comparing herself!! She does not know how to love herself!! And that is the most damage. I wish they would pick up on that. I love Navier but she can be so oblivious to that due to her anger and betrayal at Soveshu. I think if Rashta had proper care and been trained,!- did Soveshu could just fucking communicate and not be a groomer, this could all have been avoided. Navier is also at fault for not see this red flag in him??? But she was so angry and maybe jealous and wanting to back stab I think it clouded her judgement. If she slowed down and actually had a conversation- it would be okay.

3) there is so much wasted potential in all the characters!! Is Navier is getting this magical stuff sorted why can’t she just acknowledge it and work for something with it? Use it to her advantage. I wanted to see her stand up to Heinrey for taking her mages. I wanted to see her stand up to Soveshu. I want to see her just fight for herself. But she doesn’t say much. She’s so strategic with everything and it’s like it wasted her potential. Why can’t she just speak out?? It does feel very much like she turned into a Mary Sue. I want to see more of her flaws. Like one we all think is pretty when is a flaw is that she has no want to speak out and is held back and refined! I think they are trying hard to point onto her upbringing and that she’s “higher” than everyone else. When like- yes she’s an empress. But there is so much more then that we should be able to read about!! We need more scenes of her having friends for peat sakes that isn’t gossiping or talking about men and other things. Where did the potential go??

I really wanna see how it ends and hope it turns into a better direction. I also need to read the book too.

TLDR: you make so many good points and I wanted to expand on it as a fan of the series who does acknowledge all these points.

1: I did read the novel out of curiosity since everyone was saying it was better then the manhwa. The manhwa was pretty loyal to the novel and while it was still really iffy with protagonist centered morality I felt it could get away with it more since it was in first person therfore it's possible Navier could be an unreliable narrator. Another difference I noticed is that while the manhwa felt actively malicious against Rashta and making jokes about her trauma when she cries or looks for attention, the novel is more complex about it and it feels more sympathetic then something to laugh at. The whole slavery being ignored and characters getting away with shitty behavior unfortunately still lasted but given how it was more complex with it's characters I think it was an unfortunate result of the author getting a little too carried away with the readers desires to see more fluff. Gotta say I don't hold as much animosity toward the webnovel but it's still not my favorite.

2: I'm really happy to see that I'm not the only one who thinks Rashta got groomed. Even if she's not a child, she's still mentally stunted and grooming can occur at any age since it is the desire to take someone who is easily influenced and molding them into whatever you desire. Honestly though I think it makes sense that Navier wouldn't immediately see any red flags from Sovieshu given that their childhood together was happy and geninune, it's common for victims in abusive relationships to not see who their abuser really is at first which really made Navier escaping even more satisfying.

3: on one hand Navier not being able to speak up makes sense since what is she really gonna do if the Emperor brings in a concubine without breaking royal protocol, on the other hand it is so OOC of her in later seasons when she is described as someone with witty comebacks and is no damsel in distress yet in season 2 and 3 she does absolutely nothing since Heinrey and her other friends do it all for her. They think this makes her really charismatic but that only ever works for villian characters who are mysterious and too classy to do the dirty work, when the protagonist does this over and over it gets boring and you wonder if she's really supposed to be the protagonist at all.

[blueicequeen19]

Charter Ch. 7

Warnings: drama, angst, public-ish fondling

The amount of rage I feel is otherworldly. After watching him dismiss Shoupe then John B and now me.. I’m ready to break something. I follow him back out front but halt my steps when I see him helping customers, like he didn’t just give me the best two orgasms of my life. But watching him lather on the charm for these two rich bitches seems to piss me off more. Especially as they soak it up and cast me shitty looks. I’m sure I look freshly fucked and I’d love nothing more than to rub it in their faces who’s cock was just inside me but I bite my tongue, busying myself with restocking.

“If you ever need help, let me know. I know good help is hard to find.” I hear one of the bitches say. I shoot her a look at the same time JJ glances at me. I know he’s trying not to laugh but fuck him too.

“I’ll keep you in mind when we’re hiring again.” JJ lathers on the charm and I could kill someone. I make my way out the front door and down the pier. I needed to clear my head. I’m half way down the dock before I stop, panting to catch my breath. He was in me like a sickness. Like a disease spreading throughout my body that would surely kill me. What had started as harmless fun had quickly turned into something else. I fucking missed him

“Y/N!” I startle at the sound of a familiar five years olds voice, followed by fast approaching footsteps. Summer barrels into me just as I turn around, engulfing me in a hug that could bring tears to my eyes.

“We came to see you and daddy!” Summer beams up at me just as Sarah and her daughter approach. I smile and she smiles back.

“She was insisting.” Sarah says, rubbing her daughters back.

“Come on, let’s go say high!” Summer leads me back towards the Charter until her and her cousin decide to race down the dock. Sarah shakes her head with a laugh, falling into step with me.

“John B told me what happened with Chelsea. I’m sorry you’ve been dragged into the middle of that mess.” Sarah says, watching as the girls burst through the door to no doubt bombard JJ.

“Thank you. Definitely wasn’t expecting it.” I shrug, my eyes on the slats beneath our feet.

“Listen, JJ is difficult.” Sarah pulls me to a stop and I face her. “He didn’t come from a loving home. I’ve never even heard what happened with his mother but his father was an abusive addict who was gone more than he was here and when he was here, he was getting JJ to fix up his messes. JJ’s had a shit hand in life and then everything with Summer happened. Despite everything, she brought him back to life. She gave him purpose. But JJ has a tendency to push people away that get too close to their little bubble. He doesn’t want to risk Summer getting attached or hurt so if he’s pulling away, it’s because he’s scared.” I blink back at Sarah, my heart in my throat.

I don't know what to say so I only nod. We agreed in the beginning that this was only sex, no feelings. And so far I'd been wrapped up in baby momma drama and felt more feelings than I cared to admit. Sarah gives me a hug before following after the girls and into the shop. I can see JJ laughing as the two blonde headed girls talk adamantly to him. I was practically blinded by the twinkle in his eyes from how happy he was. Maybe I wanted him. But I didn't want to complicate his life either. I didn't want him to feel like he had to choose. So with a heavy heart, I hung my shop key on the hook next to the door, JJ's eyes immediately finding mine through the window. I turn away and make my way across the street to where I'm parked, refusing to let him see my tears.

It’s been three weeks. To say I miss him would be an understatement. But I refuse to acknowledge it. So I stay busy working at the bar and taking care of Bo. I entertain Jared when he comes in for drinks because I'm bored and need the tips. He begs me to take him back and I ignore him, moving to a different side of the bar. Part of me was afraid that Chelsea or her Goons would show up here but so far there's been nothing. My life had become boring and uneventful.

Part of me had expected some sort of reaction from JJ but I was also glad there hadn’t been one or else I’d have given in to him. Even if it made me sad. That’s why I stayed busy. I couldn’t miss him if I was too busy to breathe. It was the late nights when I was alone that emotion would choke me. I’d picture his grumpy attitude as he roughly bent me over the workbench. Or the spark in his eyes when I got mouthy as he thrusted into me. My stomach filled with butterflies and my pussy throbbed just thinking about him inside me again.

“Y/N, are you even listening to me?” I looked up at the sound of Jared’s shitty tone of voice, having been lost in my own head and going through the motions of making drinks.

“Jared, I’m working.” I signed, handing off three more beers to a couple of rowdy college guys. I could practically smell the fraternity on them.

“You’re always working. You never answer my texts or calls even now that you’re not with that asshole anymore.” Jared scoffed, downing his beer and sliding the empty bottle to me

“I wasn’t with him.” I muttered, uncapping another beer and giving it to him. I almost missed the way Jared tensed and his eyes narrowed.

“Right. You can fuck him all you want but you can’t be in a relationship with me. When did you become such a slut?” His words light me on fire. I could’ve hit him with an empty beer bottle but I resisted, gritting my teeth.

“The moment his big dick pushed inside me.” I spat before I could stop myself. Jared’s eyes flared and his hand on the bar balled into a fist.

“Fuck you, bitch. I’m done wasting my time.” Jared snatched his beer up and stalked off, shouldering other people out of the way.

“I need a break.” I muttered to my help, yanking my apron off and storming into the back. I let the back door slam behind me as I collapsed against the brick building. The bar rested on the pier, the back of the building facing the ocean so I watched as the son disappeared beneath the water and blanketed OBX in darkness.

“Ya know, if he hadn’t walked away from you when he did, you’d be throwing me out of this place.” I startled at the sound of JJ’s calm voice, whipping my head around to face him as he approached. My stomach immediately knotted with nerves and longing.

“What are you doing here?” I finally managed, my heart in my throat. JJ leaned against the building next to me, his bright blue eyes on my face like he was searching for something.

“I needed to see you.” He said it so matter of fact that all I could do was nod and turn away.

“It’s not just sex anymore.” JJ said smoothly, turning so he was leaned against the building and facing me.

“No.” I agreed, refusing to look into those eyes again.

Just being near him again made it hard to breathe. It had only been weeks but they’d been so long. I could smell the salt of the ocean on his skin, the weed on his clothes, the alcohol and mint on his breath, the shampoo in his hair. I blinked away tears as I shook my head again.

“I don’t think it ever was just sex with you.” JJ’s words radiate into my chest and I fight back a sob.

Suddenly his hand grabs the back of my neck and yanks me against him, his mouth finding mine in a bruising kiss I’m too weak to fight. A needy sound leaves me as I wind my arms around his neck and lift up on my toes to get as close as I can. His tongue finds mine as his hands tighten on my body, one on the back of my neck and the other on my back under my tank top.

JJ turns me so my back is against the brick again, his body pinning me in place as his tongue tastes the inside of my mouth. We make out like horny teenagers. Messy and full of tongue and teeth. I couldn’t stop. When he pops the buttons on my shorts and slides his hand into my panties, I nearly groan with relief.

“God, you’re so fucking wet.” JJ moans against my lips, his fingers massaging my slit. My knees felt weak and my legs trembled while he teased me.

“I missed this.” He applied pressure to my clit between kisses.

“I missed you.” Two fingers slid inside me and I gasped, gripping his shirt as he leaned over me to bury his face in my neck. I widened my legs as much as I could but the tight fit felt too good. Feeling him stretch me with two fingers and then three felt too good. His teeth graced my neck as I shamelessly rolled my hips to meet his hand, trying and failing to stifle my moans against his shoulder.

“Cum for me right now then take me home so I can fuck you as hard and fast as I want.” JJ practically growled in my ear, his free hand pinching my pierced nipple through my bra.

“Oh god!” I cried out, the orgasm washing over me like a tidal wave. My body shook uncontrollably and my legs nearly gave out as he worked me through it then didn’t stop. I suddenly heard footsteps off to my right and turned to see Jared there, looking like a deer in headlights before his gaze turned murderous. Why had he come back here? To find me? Hoping I was alone?

JJ turned his head too, looking right at Jared as his fingers worked harder, faster. I could feel the tension between them as JJ claimed me now like he did the day Jared came in the shop. JJ used his free hand to tuck his shirt over something, showing Jared the gun on his hip as he fingered me. I looked away from Jared’s rage and kissed JJ’s Adam’s apple. He swallowed and I bit him.

“One more then I’m going to fill this pussy with something else. Come on, baby. Cum all over my fucking hand.” I cried out again, throwing my head back against the brick as I came. It might’ve hurt if I wasn’t riding out the best high of my life.

My breathing was uneven and I could barely stand by the time he was done pumping his hand. I turned and thankfully found that Jared was gone. He probably would’ve charged JJ the moment he pulled his hand back out of my shorts and sucked them clean then kissed me again.

When I pulled back, I was breathless and exhausted. Yet I felt lighter than I had before. Like a weight had been lifted off. I smirked at the bite mark on his throat and he smirked back looking hungry as ever.

“When is your shift over?” JJ asked, pressing his pelvis against mine so I felt how hard he was.

“Anxious?” I tease, cupping him through his shorts. JJs eyelids fluttered and he pulsed in my hand.

“You think I won’t fuck you against this brick wall too?” JJ warned, leaning in to capture my mouth again. I wanted to give in. I wanted to feel him inside me more than anything else but we needed to talk. We had to have a conversation.

“J, we can’t just rush into this with sex. We have to talk.”

“Then let’s talk. Come over when you’re done. Bring Bo if you have too. Summer is with John B. I’ll make us dinner and we can talk. No sex until we do.” I could’ve melted at the determination in his voice. How much he wanted this.

“Deal.” I said, holding my hand out for him to shake. He took it.

“Deal. I’ll see you soon.”

[suzukiblu]

Ko-fi thank-you sentences for pile o’ rats, who gave me dealer's choice for the WIP I wanted to write for; Knockout gets knocked up.

“Do you want them?” Superman asks just as gently as before, not taking his hand away. Superboy wants to cry, he thinks. No, he definitely wants to cry. 

“Yeah,” he croaks. “I–even if they're not mine, I just . . . someone's gonna put them in a lab and hurt them, I know they are, I know it, and I–and I just can't let that–let that . . .”

“Alright,” Superman says, and squeezes his shoulder. Superboy chokes again, and it comes out more a sob than anything else. 

“I don’t know what to do,” he manages, and feels absolutely helpless. 

“That’s alright,” Superman says, low and soothing. “You don’t have to know what to do yet. I can help you figure out your options, and we’ll go from there. Okay?” 

“We’ll”, Kon registers, and immediately bursts into tears. 

“Sorry!” he sobs. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I fucked up so bad–!” 

“You made a mistake,” Superman says, simple and merciful and squeezing his shoulder again. “You didn’t do anything to hurt anyone else. You didn’t do anything wrong or cruel or on purpose. And it’s not anything we can’t fix.” 

“I don’t know how,” Superboy chokes, turning his head away and desperately trying to rub the stupid tears off his face and pull himself back together, because why is he being this stupid and this isn’t Superman’s problem, and he’s–and he’s so stupid! Why is he always so stupid?! And he doesn’t want to look stupid in front of Superman, much less this weak and pathetic.

Even if it’s true. 

But if this kid gets stuck in a lab, whether they’re his or not . . . well, he’s the reason Knockout’s in prison right now. He’s the one who took her down. 

Fuck, she was pregnant when he took her down. He hit her! While she was pregnant! He hit her really hard! And like, yeah, she was trying to murder him and stuff, but–just, shit, what’s wrong with him?!

This kid is so fucked. There’s no way this kid isn’t fucked. They’re gonna grow up in a lab and if they ever hear anything about him and Knockout, it’s gonna be about how fucking fucked up they were, and–and–

He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t even know how this could get fixed, no matter what Superman says. 

He’s never . . . he’s never doubted anything Superman told him before, but . . . but the situation is just so fucked, and he doesn’t even have options. How could he? Just–how? Ever? He’s not a legal adult, he’s not even really a legal person; they’re not gonna let him have the baby. Even if they say they’ll let him, they’ll find an excuse to keep them later, or a reason he can’t have them, or–or something. 

His place definitely isn’t babyproofed, if nothing else. He doesn’t even know how to babyproof a place, he’s just vaguely aware that that’s a thing that people do when they have a kid. Like, normal, responsible people who the government isn’t going to take said kid from.

Who’s he kidding? He doesn’t even have the kid to have them get “taken” from him. Knockout’s in custody and he’s just a stupid fucking not even legal idiot who hit her while she was pregnant. 

“We’ll figure that out, kid,” Superman says kindly, and Superboy folds his arms and tries not to start crying harder. It’s less that he’s folded his arms, though, and more that he’s . . . hugging himself, probably. But he really doesn’t want it to look like he’s doing that in front of Superman. 

“What, the government’s gonna let me keep a baby in my shitty beat-up old place with zero security that everybody knows is my home address?” he asks bitterly, digging his fingers into his arms. “They won’t let me do that. They’ll say it’s not safe. Fuck, it’s not safe!” 

“It’s not, no,” Superman agrees. “But there’s still options, alright? Why don’t you just . . . come with me, for right now. Have you eaten yet?”

“Um–I don’t think so,” Superboy says, trying to remember. He honestly . . . yeah, no. “No, uh–the call woke me up, and then I just waited for visiting hours and then I–then I just came here, so . . . no.” 

“Alright,” Superman says. “Then we’ll get lunch, and then we’ll talk about your options while we eat. Okay?” 

“Um . . . okay,” Superboy says, swallowing uncomfortably. He scrubs the last of the tears away, still feeling stupid and embarrassed. Superman squeezes his shoulder one last time, then drops his hand away. Superboy misses it immediately, even though he doesn’t even deserve the–the comfort or whatever, right now. He fucked up. Really bad. He doesn’t deserve comforted, and especially not by Superman.

But he can’t bring himself to turn it down, either. 

“Okay,” Superman says, giving him a faint, regretful little smile. Superboy feels even more embarrassed. He’s bothering Superman with this, like he thinks he has the fucking right to, but . . . but he didn’t know where else to go, or who else to talk to, or . . . 

He just didn’t know where else to go.