#I feel selfish doing it but i don't want to lose that possibility because I KNOW that I need a coach to learn and if I just go in a

[overnightheartbeats]

"I'm not selling myself short," he shook his head, though found a small smile coming to his lips at the question. It comforted him that Eli had learned Isaac's protective quirks. "I appreciate you having more consideration for me and my feelings than I've had with you. I love you too, seriously man. Thank you." Isaac couldn't deny his curiosity. He'd wanted to know for a while, but Eli had always looked hesitant to talk about it, so Isaac didn't push it. He chuckled at the mention of that curse, something he was all-too familiar with. "Of course, why do you think I never messed with any of that?" Romance in general, but office romance, he kept even further away from him. It also didn't help that agents were all too jaded or divorced to give any hope. "Nah, not your mistake. I mean, those old agents are very convincing. Well, you guys look like you've gotten very far from that mistake now." Isaac offered a smile, sharing in the luck he felt, because it made him happy. "I'm trying to be patient, I'm just worried the damage is beyond repair." Because, they both knew it had been more damage than the average person could forgive. "I hope you're right though, me being meant for her." Nettie deserved more, but here he was, being selfish hoping he could be enough.

"You forget that I'm a certified Eli expert," he joked as they waited for their funnel cake order to be ready. "I am understanding with you, but the situation also called for it. I didn't know all the details then," more like any details. His parents kept a lot of that to themselves. "But, I could see it in your face, you had been through a lot. You know the family was so excited to have you. You were the last piece we were missing. Okay I'll give you that, she might've met a very different version. But hey, if we didn't help you change, she surely would've. That girl doesn't give up." The one thing he was very familiar with.

The hug was something he had needed, even if he hadn't asked for it. That was family though, wasn't it? Knowing what you needed before even you did. "Okay now you're definitely giving me too much credit." For years now, Eli had taken up that oldest brother role. The one the siblings went to for advice, and for help. Evidenced by Isaac's latest trouble moment. "You're twisting my arm, but yes. I'm letting it go. Don't even remember what it is I'm letting it go." Now he was definitely joking.

He let Eli's words settle in his chest. So, it was fairly obvious that he was still stuck in his mistakes. "Maybe so, it was just a big mistake." Losing their child was one he could never forgive himself for. "You have a point though, that's a step. I won't mess it up this time." That, he was determined about. "The blue shirt, you're bringing the dating advice now too?" Then again, he probably should be listening to any and all advice. "Everyone does love free food more. Well, after this, and your dating advice, I'll owe you a bunch of funnel cakes. Alright, let's head on home. We have to rest up and be ready for later." Now that he knew Nettie would be there, Isaac had a sense of renewed energy in his heart. Extra hope with his family at home, and possibly winning her back.

"Dont sell yourself short. Who do you think I learned my protective nature from?" He saw the pain from his statement cross over his features. "But I didn't," he continued. "I didn't want to shut you out. I know that would have hurt you but it would have also hurt me. No matter what, you're my brother and I love you. Shutting you out I can't imagine it." He knew he was curious and hell part of him was too. "You know the curse of the office romances? Stupid hearsay made me call a pause for us. Looking back. It was the stupidest mistake I have ever made where it concerns her. A mistake I never want to make again. I'm just lucky that she forgave my mistake. That is why I tell you to have faith in Nettie. I know you want it to have a quick fix but have patience. She's meant for you and you're meant for her."

Eli shrugged and laughed. "You're too understanding when it comes to past me. I was jaded but not beyond repair. And that's what you saw. If it weren't for you and your family, Laurel may have met a very different version of me. Maybe even would have called me a former lover. A passerby."

He let him stay in the hug a bit longer. It also meant the world to Eli. He wasn't typically a hugger but when it came to his family. And Issac, it was like he recharged his soul with one of these hugs. One pat against his back and he smiled. "No, I had no idea," he winked. "Where do you think I also learned that from?" In his eyes, still, Isa was one of the best men he had ever known. Mistakes and all. That is what him human and someone to look up to. "Let it go. I am holding you to it."

"She loves you too. You're just stuck in the mistake island still. The first step is done. She wants to see you and group setting is a step in the right direction. Maybe wear that blue shirt." He bumped his side and smirked. "I'm gonna enjoy this one even more because you're paying for it."

[sschmendrick]

I want to play volleyball so bad. I want to play but I don't think I'm at a level where I can fully enjoy it yet. I need to get stronger and better at it, but I have to go through the acceptance of sucking at it first. Also I'm a little scared because of how small I am for that sport, and I don't want to face the fact.

There's a few exercises I could do on my own to try and get better but I don't know if I'm doing it right, with the right position and the right move. But I want to. I want to get stronger, I want to be a better player and fully enjoy it. Lately, the few times I've played it feels more like I'm reacting to it, like I'm spending all my enthusiasm and adrenaline in it. I try to keep a few core things I've learned in mind to play better but I still rely so much on instincts and my love for the sport to give me enough stamina to keep going. Building strength and stamina takes a long time though...I hope I'll get a little better before september when the new season starts.

[astronomalyy]

Thinking about the lifespans of Dungeon Meshi elves... The fact that they're completely unnatural alters my brain chemistry, because you can tell just how haphazardly the demon implemented their wish. They live five times the length of tall-men, so they age at a fifth of their rate. It's simple maths and the implications are terrifying. No wonder their birth rate and population are declining - their early development is so slow that at the age of two, they're still unable to stand.

They don't reach adulthood until their eighties. What does the infant mortality look like? How many elves succumb to illness or injury before they're fully mature? It only takes one accident to lose the child you've been raising for decades - and could you bring yourself to care for another? Add to that the implication elf culture has no idea how to process grief... just look at the way the Canaries treat Rin after the death of her parents. They're callous and insensitive and detached - part of that's racism, but there's also an element of pure cold ignorance. They don't even recognise the emotion on her face.

And that's just scratching the surface... does elven memory accommodate their extended lifespan? Once you reach two hundred or so, do the years start blurring together? Kabru mentions that their temporal awareness is remarkably poor.

Two years feel like a few months. Their lives are longer but not fuller. They're older but not wiser than the short-lived races, and most refuse to understand this. Those that do grasp it are interesting - namely Otta, who's ostracised for pursuing half-foot women.

A 30-year old elf is a young child; a 30-year old half-foot has entered middle age. Otta is in the equivalent of her late twenties. She knows that her elven lifespan makes her no more mature than a half-foot - but she also acknowledges that it creates a rift between herself and her partners, and not just in the eyes of society. 'She dumps them as soon as they pass 30', but probably not for the reasons Lycion assumes. For this to be a pattern, decades must have passed - it's possible Otta doesn't want to watch them die as she herself barely ages. No doubt some of her previous lovers have already passed away. In the end, all living 400 years accomplishes is leaving them out of sync with the rest of humanity.

Marcille's perhaps the best example. As a half-elf, she's got 95% of her life ahead and the thought terrifies her. She's going to lose everyone she loves, over and over and over again, and this cycle has barely even started. She runs at a different pace. This context adds so much to her dynamic with Falin in earlier chapters.

Marcille loves her! She's scared for her! Maybe even of her! She's grown attached to a short-lived girl who she met as a kid when Marcille was a teaching assistant! Biologically and developmentally, they're the same age, but chronologically she's twice as old as Falin! Considering what happened to her mother, is history repeating itself? Her feelings towards Falin are tangled and messy and fascinating. They're also more than a little homoerotic, which makes Marcille's infantilization of her friend all the more interesting. It feels like her way of resolving their power imbalance, of remaining a responsible (former!) authority figure... but it's also a coping mechanism. She's frightened by the ways Falin is maturing and changing - aging - and keeping her mental image of her friend as young as possible is her way of denying the march of time that's destined to sever their bond.

Marcille's dream of lifespan extension would remove the need for this obfuscation, render them equal... only, they already are! This desire is imposed onto Falin, but it's primarily for Marcille's benefit. Watching her fight for a world nobody wants, for reasons both selfish and altruistic... it's as tragic as it is understandable. I love this manga.

[astrologylunadream]

Are They Attracted To You?💋🌺🌹 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hi it's Lunadream❤️ This is an honest reading for whether or not that person on your mind has romantic attraction towards you! hope you find your message💌✨️

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~❤️‍🔥

Pile 1🩷

Pile 2💋

Pile 3🌺

Pile 4🌹

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> ❤️

Pile 1🩷

Sign energy: Facial expression, Body, Art, Right, Demand, 5th house, Taurus, Aries, 2nd house, 9th house,📞🤪🏜🙅‍♂️

🎀Your person's energy: Okay hi so this person is quite smart, they might often be right about things or they always want to be right. They could have sort of a dominant way about them, like they want to be heard.🗣☝️ There is prominent aries or 1st house placements here, also Taurus. Sagittarius, Leo, actually all fire signs wow so this person has a straightforward or directness to them. One of the first things that came up is their body is a work of art lol😂😭 Seriously they might have the build of a greek statue for some, they could be phsyically fit or in shape I'm hearing "sculpted"🦵💪👀 That could mean someone who is creative or into making things too take what resonates.🪄 I feel like this person could make some really funny faces, like they could have very animated facial expressions.😜 Your person may trive on having attention on them, or they just get it without trying. Their voice is attractive, also they can be interested in many exotic genres of music.🎧🎼 For some of you this person is from a hot climate, or they are just hot themselves😉 They are sensual and headstrong, this could be someone from a long distance but I only see that for a few of you. They are exciting and want to enjoy many hobbies, there is a thirst for adventure in them.🪂🌋 They could love food especially from different cultures, they are expressive in their body langauge aswell😅🔥 This person might appear wild or reckless. Possibly a bit demanding sometimes or even selfish it depends on the person, but I think they are a youthful spirit.

🌺Are They Attracted To You: Dating, Warrior, Reconnect, Passion, Finger, Leo, Pisces, Moon, Neptune, Chiron,🔊🥺💁‍♂️🪃

Okay there is a lot of passion here, for some of you this person wants to date you!🫵❤️‍🔥 Like they are energetically pointing at you like "pile 1 date me now😤" lmao. They have a desire to reconnect with you emotionally and heal you with this passion and devotion I'm hearing, but I think your judgement is needed here because the situation is iffy.🤨🔍 Although there is a lot of attraction from this person, it could be more like infatuation for them. This person feels restless and easily bored, I do see that this person would get an ego boost from dating you.🔝🏆 They are very vocal about their attraction to you my pile 1's, but they're wearing rose colored lenses a bit when it comes to you. This person fantasizes about you, and they want to win your heart.🫢❤️‍🔥 It's like they are in a gauntlet of war competing with your potential suitors in the spiritual realm lol😂⚔️ Be careful though as this person's attraction may be unstable or flighty, the spark they feel may ignite but also burn out fast. They could lose interest easily in relationships I'm hearing, it's hard for them to keep focus. I think they have a soft spot for you though, they want to prove themselves to you.🎁✨️ This attraction to you feels more loyal and devoted than they usually are. They want to reach out to you, for some of you this person wants to apologize for something or heal any emotional wounds you have.🫂💞 This person's attraction to you is more on a spiritual and emotional level than phsyical but I'm seeing that too, they feel attached to you most energetically.🔗💭 They are attracted to you because of the psychic bond you two share, your soul is so precious to them and they don't want to see you suffer. Wow I think this person is very emotional over you, there is a mixture of passion and love for this pile.🌹🩷 For some of you this person is having dreams of you, their subconcious is very attracted towards you. I think this person is healing, maybe that is why their energy was so chaotic at first. You may be keeping them in tune with their more caring or nurturing self.

💌Messages from your person: I still love you, It's the start of something new, You're pretty, Nothing else matters, I can't believe you would choose me, You read my mind, I stay asleep dreaming of you, It feels so good. 🐇🛑🍪🕯(Wow yes they dream of you pile 1 and they fantastize of you, definitely a psychic connection here!❤️🥹)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🌺💋

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the pink heart emoji~🩷 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🥰

Pile 2💋

Sign energy: Back off, Lesson, Glow up, Top, Force, Air, Neptune, Jupiter, 6th house, Pisces,♂️💦🍒🍭

🎀Your person's energy: Wow this person does not like us channeling their energy right now lol😅 Their vibe seems confused and very resistant, they could be very busy or unavailable right now.✋️😠 I feel like this person has a defensive energy towards my pile 2's, they try to be realistic I'm hearing. For some of you this person is masculine or dominant, they could even be phsyically bigger for some of my pile 2's🫢 Air sign energy, Pisces, Sagittarius, Virgo, those could be in their chart. Maybe Neptune in pisces or in the air signs for some, jupiter in 6th house is possible, also pisces mars or neptune-mars aspects. these are all mutable signs actually. This is someone you can learn a lot from, or you will learn valuable lessons from your connection with them.💡 This person is so resistant you guys like they are in this energy of pushing you away?? It feels like they are being way too hard on themselves as well as you.💔 This person is very cautious and intelligent, they may not believe in fairytales or misleading fantasies. Honestly for some in this pile it seems as if they think you are getting your hopes up with them, that could definitely be the case for many of you. They might feel like they are more mature or responsible in some way, they seem to be very strict or judgemental towards you.🤨 I mean, this person is very forceful in their intentions and I think they don't want you to get hurt or have your dreams crushed.💭🚫 There is an absence from this person, they could be distancing themselves from you or there is some lack of engagement physically. I mean this person is very attractive and their chest is very noticeable, some of my pile 2's may be unrealistic about this person.😓 Their energy is currently very tense, they have a lot of discipline I'm hearing. They are forceful and driven. Behind their functional facade they are quite emotionally challenged, but they try to hide their feelings or control them.❤️‍🩹

🌺Are They Attracted To You: Libra, Force, Society, Honey, Frozen, 11th house, Pluto, Moon, Leo, Pisces,📚🧲🎠🧐

Ah so this is interesting pile 2! Force came out twice in this reading and with pluto I think there is a magnetic pull towards you here actually.😳😍 I'm surprised by their initial energy but it seems like they are stuck fighting their emotions, their attraction towards you may go against their own societal expectations or they are worried about their image😱👤✨️ They have a lot of pressure on them, so I think their energy is quite intense towards you. You make them emotional and this confuses them, they feel unable to take any action I'm hearing. It's like this person is frozen with indecision about my pile 2's🧊❄️ They could be weighing their options right now, for some of you this person is also faking their confidence in front of you. They are hiding their feelings, but they feel a a psychic pull towards you pile 2!!💭✨️ They might be searching for information especially online in order to identify these emotions omg.😨 They may have an strange thirst for knowledge about you that they can't explain, they are deeply curious about you without even realizing it. For some this could even mean possible obsession, they can't seem to figure you out so I think that morphs into a type of attraction for them.🧠🖤 This is quite the plot twist. They may not be aware of their interest in you, but there is a strange attachment to you. For some of you they may even be silently learning more about you through social media or any way they can. It is possible this person is definitely not aware of their attraction to you and they may not even feel it at first, but it is subconcious.😳💭 Either they are putting on an act about how they feel or for others in this pile they haven't realized they feel an attraction to you, but this secret is yet to be revealed for them my pile 2's❤️‍🔥

💌Messages from your person: My future is with you, You have so much to say, I have no boundaries with you, You're so delicate, You are, It's all fake, Can I hold you? I'm trying to find myself.🎎🤩🚨🙃 (Okay pile 2 so this person admits to it they have been putting on an act, they have been hiding their true energy towards you relentlessly but they just can't hold back from you. They are lost and trying to figure things out, my pile 2's this person wants to hold you.😫❤️)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🌺💋

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the kiss emoji~💋 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🥰

Pile 3🌺

Sign energy: Vision, Star, Try, Control freak, Meaning, Gemini, Virgo, 3rd house, Vertex, Earth,😇🕷🍪🤙

🎀Your person's energy: Exciting! This person feels witty and analytical, they may be a fast thinker or use their head a lot.🧠💭 They can be focused and may be good at communicating, also a very angelic personality🥰✨️ They try to be helpful and have meaningful conversations with others, but they can also be very controlling for some. They are skilled with their hands, and they may be very good at many things including speaking.🗣👑 They could be Earth sign, Gemini, Virgo, or Mercury dominant. 3rd house placements, also virgo in 3rd house for some. This person may talk or think excessively.🤯 For some this person is very social and may have many friends or converse with lots of people often. They do well at may at school or work, they have a professional/well put together vibe about them. They want to be a fast and efficient person.🔨✨️ They are talented and there is a star quality about them in their expertise. May be very thorough and detailed. They could have a good reputation or people see them as bright example.⭐️ They may be a rolemodel of some sort or you look up to them. This person possibly struggles with overthinking or anxiety, they often have their mind on many different things.👀 They are mindful and think things through. Try to appear cool in most conversations😎 Very clever and sweet I'm hearing, they might freak out about some stuff sometimes. Like for some of you this person could be afraid of spiders or like not completing an assignment lol things like that😂

🌺Are They Attracted To You: At last, Responsibility, Ladder, Masculine, Accessory, Aries, 7th house, Sagittarius, South node, Eros,🐓♈️🌫🪂

Okay so there is a lot of passion in this pile, they see you as something hot and untamable! There is heavy aries influence here, some of you may be aries🤭 This person is normally level headed and responsible but you bring out this wild side to them😳🔥 There is a lot of attraction to you my pile 3's, honestly you really turn them on😭 This person may feel tempted by you, or you challenge them in some way. You make them want to act tougher or more dominant with you, you bring out a reckless version of this person, it's like a hidden monster that has been waiting to be unleashed.👿⛓️ Mhm this person is wild about you honestly, their feelings are loud and clear here. They are attracted to your free spirit, they want to take risks with you.🪂🔥🚀 Something about you is foreign to them, almost forbidden. If you're in the room with them, the air feels thicker. They have such a passionate fiery energy towards you, but this attraction is also an interest in a commitment with you. They may desire a long term relationship instead of a fleeting romance. This person feels like you complete them, and they may be very attracted to you as their romantic counterpart take what resonates of course.💍💖 They feel an obligation towards you, like they have to be strong or reliable for you. You excite this person, there is a spark they see in you.🔥😫 They might feel like you are dangerous for them though, and there could be lots of physical tension between you two. They try to keep composed, like they are fighting their demons.🥊 You make them feel empowered and full of passion and drive. They may especially view you as phsyically attractive or their ideal type. I'm hearing you cloud their judgement and you could even make them lose their inhibitions.❤️‍🔥 So much attraction!

💌Messages from your person: I know it's hard, I love the shape of your lips, The pain will go away, You're a genius, Don't just stand there, So what? You're too kind, Of course you won't. 🆚️✍️😡🤐 (Ohh pile 3 this person is hot and bothered, they think you're really sweet and smart and they know you won't just let it go to waste🥰 This is a mix of tension and appreciation from this person, wow I think they want to compete for you🥺)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💋

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the hibiscus emoji~🌺 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🥰

Pile 4🌹

Sign energy: Beloved, Model, Leo, Blush, Make out, 12th house, Air, Pluto, 11th house, Mercury,⛓️🥀💆‍♀️⛪️

🎀Your person's energy: So.. some of you wanna make out with this person right now😂 lmao just kidding but yes there is a lot of attraction to this person haha. Some of my pile 4's really love this person, they make your day. They could be a model or they have that kind of allure to them, they just earn effortless attention and obsession lol.💫 You may dream of them, even fantasize of them. You feel spiritually connected to them, and of course it is very apparent in the energy that you are interested in them through tarot/astrology. Some of you met this person online or they don't know your identity, only some. This person could be famous or people's heads just turn to them.👤✨️ Could be actor or creator for some, they are talented in something. Some of you are not with this person right now, there could be phsyical distance and lack of communication for you two.📵 They could be an Air sign, Leo, Pisces, Scorpio, Aquarius, Gemini, Mercury in 12th house, Pluto in Leo or Pluto in 11th house, Mercury in 11th house for some. I'm hearing this person is a religion lol what, they could have a lot of secret admirers like for some in this pile take what resonates lol. They could be religious, also for some they have a following on social media or an influencer.🤳 Hey they are pretty attractive I could see why, this person might make you blush.🤭💗 You may be too shy to talk to them or you just can't for some reason, they are quite captivating and glamorous.💋✨️ May attract lots of jealousy because of their radiant energy and confidence. You admire their unique qualities, they are super special. Their presence is intense and magnetic, maybe even serious for some in this pile. Strange things about them make you giggle and smile, I'm hearing they have a hold on you. You might feel like they're your soulmate, but there is an air of mystery to them. This person is so hot, some of you may fantastize being touched by them and you may not even know them that well, it feels like your heart is captured by them, maybe even a little addicted for some.🫢🩷

🌺Are They Attracted To You: Baby, Wedding, Performance, Spring, Ex lover, Taurus, 2nd house, Vertex, Aries, Leo,🕊❤️‍🔥🔑⛲️

Hm interesting, so this is giving a lot more info actually. Wedding came out my pile 4's😏💕 This person finds you naturally attractive and full of charm!😍💋 They have a playful interest in you, also very passionate and sweet. They think you're pretty, aesthetically pleasing to them in many different senses.✨️ For some in this pile this is an ex that wants you back, like the classic "come back to me baby" stereotype lmao I can hear that for some of you😅💌 they are still burning with passion for you. This could be a flame that just started for others in this pile, your connection with this person is meaningful and possibly a key aspect of your life. That is especially true because this person may want to marry you and that could actually work for them!💍💗 They have a lot of charm and attraction to you, also with the dove emoji they might definitely plan to confess or get the message across to you. They want your attention fast, they might even put on a show for it.😂 They are dramatic about you. Like for some of you this person is trying to be flashy to get your interest, they might be dressing nicer or flirting a lot. You make this person feel very flirty omg, with this mix of energy it feels like sweet talking.🗣🍬🩷 Like they feel so attracted to your warm kindness, they find you to be irresistible. They love your personal feminine qualities you whether it's like making things nicer or shopping, even your voice🥰 Some of you may be born in spring, also there are definitely some Taurus in this pile! This person is attracted to your earthly beauty, even if you don't feel pretty they see you as a goddess.🪞 This energy is very persuasive I think this person is so captivated by your aura and presence.💖 Their attraction to you is a grand, passionate and devoted kind, you are like wood they need to ignite their flames.🔥 They feel like they can trust and rely on you, they're attracted to how stable and beautiful you are pile 4! There is a lot of desire here, they want to be seen by you. Also they want to give you their attention, they're such a charmer😩❤️‍🔥

💌Messages from your person: I need you in this lifetime, Pretend you don't know me, I love the shape of your lips, Why not? Let's break up, They're jealous of me, I believe you, Focus on yourself.🧤🔮🤴🫰 (Wow of course they are quite dramatic lol. They are very attracted to you, this person may be unable to be with you right now. Some of you are dating this person or they want a relationship with you but others are jealous😳 People may want their hands on you/them, or for others it could be timing or situation that is coming between you both. This person believes in you though, I mean they believe in the divine connection you have but they want you to focus on yourself right now. There is so much love for you and they don't want you to get dragged into all the drama, they wanna be with you now but they want you to prioritize your self care and wellbeing most importantly.😩💗)

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🌺💋

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the red rose emoji~🌹 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🥰

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[themultifanshipper]

don't be shy. elaborate.

personally i see this podium as carlos holding reader in place between his legs, readers back against his chest as oscar absolutely devours them. i just know he's the king of guy to unhinge his jaw and eat his partner alive because have you seen that man? no further explanation is needed. carlos is praising reader to no end while they're squirming and poor lando is sat in the Cuck Chair TM (there's one in every hotel fight me) unable to touch himself even though he's so hard it HURTS and all he can do is grip the armrests of the chair until his knuckles turn white. go forth and do with my thots what you will 🙃

https://www.tumblr.com/themultifanshipper/750822766739111936/or-foursome-if-youre-not-a-pussy

This lineup goes hard

Warnings: nasty, nasty foursome. Unhinged Oscar. female reader

Oscar and lando bet that whoever was in front would get to eat you out while the other was forced to watch.

They put everything they had into that race, but Lando got damage and fell behind Carlos through no fault of his own.

So Oscar had an idea: let carlos join, just to torture Lando that much more.

So there they were, Oscar with his head buried between your legs, Carlos behind you holding your arms behind your back so you couldn't touch oscar, whispering sweet praises into your ear, and poor Lando in his cuck chair facing the bed.

Lando wasn't allowed to touch himself, so he was white knuckling the armrests as he squirmed, cock hard and leaking in his pants.

Oscar had promised him that if he was a good boy, he would fuck him nasty after, so he was determined to last.

Oscar was undeniably the best at giving head. Lando and Carlos were good too, amazing in fact, but Oscar had that lazy desperation that drove you insane. He alternated between gliding his tongue over your pussy, and shoving it as deep as possible while using his nose to rub at your clit, jaw unhinged and eyes rolling back as he loses himself in the sensation of your sweet juices running down his face.

You were three orgasms in when he finally lifted his head, face and shirt soaking wet, and looked at Carlos, who was also very hard but didn't dare try anything.

"Do you want to fuck her while I fuck Lando?" He asked, droopy grin exposing his bunny teeth, but weirdly he looked more menacing than cute in that moment.

Carlos groaned, his head rolling back towards the headboard. Lando whimpered in the corner and they both looked at him.

"Yes, please" was all Carlos could muster, the sight in front of him was changing his brain chemistry. Lando's hair was soaked in sweat, as was his underwear, very obvious tent under the wet patch as he panted and rolled his hips, searching for friction.

That's how you ended up in reverse cowgirl as Carlos pounded into you from below while Lando faced you on the bed, on his knees, prostate being abused by Oscar's fingers.

Once he was prepped, Oscar grabbed his hair and shoved his face down towards where your pussy was quivering around Carlos's cock, forcing Lando to look at it, and slid into him to the hilt, before starting a punishing pace.

Lando wailed into the covers as tears ran down his cheeks from the pleasure after being denied for so long, as Oscar started teasing him.

"Look at that Lando. Look at our girl's pussy being split open by another man's cock. That could've been you."

Lando whined as Oscar gave a particularly hard thrust before continuing "You could be making her feel good if you hadn't fucked up your race"

He knew that it wasn't Lando's fault, he was just being mean. But it was working because Lando moaned and tightened around his cock, so he slowed down to a slow grind, making Lando wail in desperation again.

"Don't be selfish Lando, our girl needs to come first, why don't you help her out, hmm?"

So he let go of Lando's hair, the older man immediately surging forward to lick over your lips spread around Carlos's cock, and Carlos groaned as he slowed down ever so slightly to help Lando out.

When Lando licked over your sensitive overstimulated clit, you shrieked and clenched around Carlos, which created a chain reaction.

Carlos suddenly pounded back into you, pumping you full of him as he came inside you, which made you come, drenching Lando's face in your juices, the sight of which sent Oscar into a frenzy, slamming his hips into Lando's, who then came completely untouched, the two mclaren drivers tumbling over the edge together.

You were all a mess of panting, sweaty bodies as you all caught your breath on the now very damp bed.

Lando spoke up first, wiping his slick wet hair away from his eyes. "Next time I win, you're going to suffer, Osc"

I spiralled (what else is new?)

Look at THESE MEN! RAIL ME! PLEASE!

[skufdaddyswansea]

Mouthwashing, Dual Protagonists, and Captain Curly

While the vast majority of Mouthwashing is shown from Jimmy's perspective, the events leading up to the Tulpar's crash usually follow Curly. There are several interesting reasons for this, but there's one reason in particular that I'd like to focus on.

By setting Jimmy and Curly up as dual protagonists, we're invited to draw comparisons between them. Not only are they the lenses through which we view the story, they pass the role of Captain back and forth between their chapters.

It's easy to feel sympathy for Curly, given the state he spends the larger part of the game in. It can also be easy to gloss over his more subtle shortcomings when measuring him up against Jimmy.

In this post, I want to take a closer look at Curly's character. And more specifically, how he relates to one of the game's most obvious themes.

Is Curly able to deal with the consequences of his actions? Does he realize his own failures and how they harm the people around him? What does he do with the power he's granted over others?

Does Curly take responsibility?

Jimmy's fixation here gives us a good jumping-off point. It's certainly possible that he's only really been told this once or twice, but because he's Jimmy he's blown it out of proportion out of spite. It's also possible he's entirely making it up because he's projecting, but I think the former is more likely if anything.

And, if I had to take a guess where he heard it from, I'd put my money on The Pony Express itself.

In the eyes of The Pony Express, a "great leader" isn't someone diligent or able to meet the needs of his crew. The real reason Curly was able to rise to the top of the ladder and become captain is because he gets the job done without rocking the boat.

I'm establishing all this because I think it's worth examining by what metric he's being judged. Because, while it may be Jimmy who most often digs this point up, Curly doesn't disagree with him. Even in the depths of his ennui, it's important to him that not only is he the Captain, but a good one at that.

When comparing the two, that can again seem difficult to argue against. Jimmy is quick to lash out and shift blame. His resentment and insecurities often drive him to pick fights. Curly prefers to avoid conflict, but knows his position doesn't always allow him to do so. He tries to pick his battles, but when he has to get involved he focuses on de-escalating the situation.

But although their similarities are few, they do exist. And they greatly influence the narrative. Because it is from their shared selfishness, callousness, and cowardice that the entire story is born.

It's time to address the elephant in the room. We can't draw any conclusions about Curly's nature, his character, his role in the story, and his relationship to its themes without digging into his handling of Anya's assault, and the chain of events that follow.

I find it interesting that we never see the initial conversation Anya has with Curly about the assault. We simply know that she confided in him. He is the Captain, after all. The crew is his responsibility.

The thing is, we don't really need to know the exact conversation they shared, because we can imagine it went quite similarly to their conversation about her pregnancy.

She tells him how scared she is. She fears for her life. It never even occurred to him that she was upset about anything other than losing her job. He swears to her that everything will be fine. They'll fix this. All he has to do is talk to Jimmy.

He does not talk to Jimmy.

Maybe the first time he really did intend to. He just needed time. Jimmy has always had... struggles. If we want to, we can be generous to Curly, we can assume his old problems were much less vile. Otherwise, he would have never pulled the strings to get him this job, never put him in a position of power over vulnerable people. Right? But now, this was whole new beast altogether. Because he and Jimmy go way back, he had to process this, figure out what he was even supposed to say.

But at the same time, The Pony Express had just gone gone under. He'd been struggling with dissatisfaction and indecision for so long, and now his hand has been forced. He has his own problems. And Anya seems fine, doesn't she? If she hadn't said anything, he'd never have even known there was anything wrong. It just doesn't seem that important.

Anya talks to Jimmy herself.

She's scared, she fears for her life. But now she knows now that Curly won't defend her, nor give her the means to defend herself. Still, he promises her, they'll fix this. He just has to talk to Jimmy.

Things are different now. He can't sit by and wait for things to work out anymore. After all, it's not only her problem anymore.

Now it's Curly's problem too. How is he supposed to find another job with this on his record? There's only one other person on this ship who understands what he's going through.

He talks to Jimmy.

And he understands. Not that what he did was wrong, of course. Not that he'd done something horrific, irreversible, cruel. But that it now had consequences, and that he wouldn't suffer them alone.

Curly made his decision. He chose his paper-thin illusion of peace and his eroding friendship with Jimmy over the safety and well-being of his crew. And when it all came tumbling down, he decided it was better to bury them all under the rubble than to face the struggle to rebuild.

If Jimmy hadn't been there, hadn't been his co-pilot, Curly almost certainly would not have been able to bring himself to actually follow through with something so selfish and reckless.

But Jimmy was there, and Curly made sure of that.

So, it's time to ask again. Does Curly take responsibility?

Well, yes.

But it's too little, too late.

As much as Mouthwashing is about Jimmy fighting furiously against the consequences of his actions, it is also about Curly being forced to watch them unfold anyway. His silence and inaction, once a choice, are inflicted upon him by his mangled body.

Jimmy may have crashed the ship, but Curly gave him the keys. And so it's fitting in the end that Curly is made to take the full weight of responsibility by the man who he helped avoid it so many times.

[elysiansparadise]

Hi @elysiansparadise! i have uranus in the 2nd house in my natal chart and i still don't fully understand what does it mean to me. Can you pls explain what does uranus in the 2nd house mean? :)

Hello love! Of course I can explain it.

Uranus in the 2nd house

When it comes to money, these natives may have some instability at some point in their lives. One of the lessons that these natives have over time is change management, in life they can experience certain things that cause them to have to improvise with situations, which leads them to create this ability to work under pressure or work effectively with the resources they have. They can experience very drastic changes in their lives, whether in their lifestyle, economic or even housing. One of their best qualities is their adaptability both to situations as we mentioned above, such as in front of people or simply to flow in a certain way with life. And although it is difficult to take them by surprise, one of the things they crave is to be able to feel that they no longer have to be nervous about possible changes. A conflicting desire for new things but the nerves of losing everything that has cost them to build. This position of Uranus helps a lot to obtain income unexpectedly or from various sources, as well as having various methods to manage and control your finances. Many of these natives can dare to work for themselves and invest their money in their own business. They tend to prefer to manage their finances on their own, manage their own expenses and not need others to keep track of their money coming in and going out.

It may be that at their earliest ages, self-esteem has been an issue with which they experienced an imbalance, leading them to have a very changing opinion of themselves. As they grow, natives learn to embrace their authenticity and genuinely value themselves, that is, not wanting to prove anything to anyone, simply focusing on themselves. There is nothing they value more than their independence, doing things their own way and authentically, they will always seek to go after what they want and become what they want without comparing themselves to other people in the process. Many of them may seek to achieve or do things on their own, because only in this do they find true satisfaction, this being one of the indicators of a problem in relying on others or accepting help from others. If Uranus is making tense aspects with the Moon, Saturn or Sun, they feel that they cannot rely on financial support from their family, especially financial support.

Although they recognize the importance of money, there are many other things that they value more than that, having a personality slightly more detached from money than the average population. Many of them are capable of leaving a job where they are not comfortable, whether due to dynamics, tasks or environment, regardless of the pay. They are not characterized by being selfish people with their resources, they are always willing to lend a hand to friends, people who feel they need it or causes that they find worthwhile. Many of them can receive financial support from friends or have friends with a more stable economic situation. They are interested in finding ways to make their hobbies and talents profitable. They tend to invest a lot of their money in things related to their hobbies, interests, video games, electronic equipment, or things that other people don't find as much value in as they do.

-> Go back to the masterlist

[riririnnnn]

It was the end of Ubers match when I first stumbled upon a tweet on Pinterest which sowed the theory of Kaiser destroying Sae's dream in my mind. And honestly, after this seeing panel:

I'm starting to believe more and more in that theory.

It was evident way before Ness's backstory that Kaiser is definitely NOT a newbie in the soccer industry which gives an ample amount of time for Sae to face Kaiser in a match considering Sae didn't return to Japan for straight four years.

And I highly think that Sae faced off Kaiser in the later moment of those four years.

Why?

Because:

He looked miserable when he first returned from Spain in comparison to his later return (almost a year later) from Spain:

And I do think that if you were to lose a long-term dream, then it'll show on your face much more during the earlier days rather than a year later when you get used to the feeling of losing your dream.

Further, Kaiser crushing Sae's dream fits well in two questions that revolves in my mind whenever I think about Sae's backstory:

Why Sae started hating his own country, Japan?

The above question can be modified as:

Why Sae started hating Japanese soccer players?

As I said in one of my previous posts, I do believe that when Sae stepped into Spain, he realised that he was the Frog in the well—he realised how vast the world is and that he wasn't as great of a player as he thought he was. He probably struggled a lot but was somewhat successful in maintaining a balance when Kaiser came in like a wrecking ball to strike the nail in the coffin.

Of course, considering Sae's personality, he would've surely put up a fight against Kaiser just like Isagi did, but unlike that blueberry boy, Sae was already very exhausted and sadly, after some time, he gave up.

Now to address the actual answer to the question: Sae hated how much Japan celebrated him when he was just a child. He was showered with the title of prodigy since he was a kid and he hated that his own country made him feel like he was someone special when in reality, he was just the best among the worst. Further, even if he wanted to be better, there was no one in Japan who could help him do that. He hated how he was made to believe by his country's people that he had what it took to be the world's best striker.

Kind of like a betrayal of some sort.

This gentle soul explained it very well too:

Also, a bit unrelated, but this panel piqued my interest:

German you say, hm?

Moving onto next question:

Why Sae chose to be a Midfielder then?

I have two reasoning for this question:

Firstly, what is the position closest to the striker? Yes, a Midfielder. So, by being a Midfielder, Sae is still trying to be as close to his dream as possible. It is his type of compromise.

Secondly, do you remember what Rin really liked? Yes, Sae's passes. And which position's main role is to pass? Yes, a Midfielder.

You getting me?

It's like Sae is trying to get some kind of closure by reliving those good old times when Rin and Sae played in the Kamakura United (their soccer club). Besides, if Rin were to be the world's best striker, then he would also need the world's best midfielder too, you know.

You getting me?

The only reason I don't want this theory to come true is because it kind of strips us off from an opportunity to get a new badass character.

I also don't want this theory to be true is because I'm solely holding onto this panel:

I'm desperately holding into this panel as a hope that Sae still cares for Rin.

After we got an insight of Kaiser-Ness relation in chapter 261, I can't help but fear that Sae may think of Rin in the same way—someone for his own selfish needs.

And if anything like this happens, I'll transform into the biggest Kaiser's hater alive. Even after chapter 261, I still somewhat defend him for his behaviour, but Itoshi brothers have been the closest to my heart—istg I'll rip Kaiser's hair from his scalp if the brothers' bond gets tarnished because of him.

That's all, I guess.

[anxietycheesecake]

The lack of media literacy in this fandom is wild.

They basically said 'in your wildest dreams, here's a scenario that could have been the ending. And to highlight just how much this couldn't or didn't happen, here are two other endings that couldn't possibly happen' and people somehow came to the conclusion that this scene was remotely canon when it was the exact opposite.

It was imperative to somebody that the show fully clarifies that Nandor and Guillermo do not and will not fuck. They need the audience to know that and The Guide was once again used as a wedge to drive home that Nandor and Guillermo are platonic and only platonic. Nandor finds The Guide physically attractive and is romantically attracted. Whether his motivations are selfish and would fizzle upon realization is irrelevant because it's canon that he is into her and if you drew a venn diagram with his feelings for The Guide and Guillermo, there would be little overlap. That was the entire purpose of Guidmor this season and nearly the only purpose The Guide served. Friends, best friends, partners, in love with The Guide - they are circling this shit with a bright red marker.

And yeah, much of the direction they've taken on Nandor and Guillermo's relationship and taking jabs at shippers is because the fanart, fanfic, and general shipping made Simms uncomfortable and I'll die on that hill. The 'ick' is palpable in every one of those interviews where he says it wouldn't be profound enough, 'do people really want to see that? Really?' or that it would be problematic. They literally pivoted in the aftermath of season 3 and 4 because of the reception.

Tell me that in a world without social media, in a world where they didn't see how fans reacted, Nandor and Guillermo's relationship would have played out as it did. Tell me that it was in good faith and not damage control. Tell me they didn't want to kill that narrative while not losing viewership.

Tell me that this isn't the very manifestation of queer content being fun until it's more than a joke.

It's actually okay to be hurt if you create fan content and it makes a homophobic person uncomfortable, instead of telling yourself that couldn't possibly be how a showrunner, writer, or company really feels about something you care about and have invested in. It's a hard, shitty thing, especially when they dangled that ship to the point of using 'Nandermo' in promotional material. It's okay for others to be upset by this and have a myriad of personal or impersonal reasons for being offended, sad, angry. Our reaction isn't an attack on fans who are satisfied, and you don't have to rationalize an ugly truth when somebody is in the wrong and hurting real people. Simms is the one in a position of power here, not fans on Tumblr. He can absolutely steamroll the writers and actors on this if he wants to, and it can be seen in interviews, such as the one with Stefani. As I said in my previous ask, Harvey is a real gay person who has to smile and nod while his boss repeatedly uses these talking points to delegitimize gay relationships right in front of him like we're in the early 2000s.

Fuck that shit. This conduct is appalling and you have every right to be disgusted.

Thank you so much, bestie, the gaslighting got me thinking I was insane. Like good for people who are satisfied, but I think you should be able to see the whole picture beyond your own feelings. If nandermo had gone canon and everything else was the exact same, I'd complain about the lack of proper development and closure for everyone else, while being ecstatic for my beloved blorbos. Because you can aknowledge when shitty things happen even if you personally find them gratifying.

[exhaslo]

Miguel who meets Reader in Alchemax, and learns that she's in the tech department and become friends.

Miguel that with the help of Reader (and Lyla) build the Gizmo to travel across dimensions, after revealing his identity as Spiderman.

Miguel that invited Reader to work for the Spider-society as he didn't want her to work for Alchemax. (He can't loose her too.)

Reader who becomes a safe space for Miguel, someone who to trust when the burden of the multiverse becomes too heavy.

Miguel who starts to fall in love with Reader, and is scared to get too attached because he might loose her.

Miguel who often thinks about Gabriella, and how much she would've loved Reader.

Fluff and angst? Sign me in.

SIGN ME UP TOOOOOOOO!!! Also, just going to make a small change for plot hehehe

Warning: None, just fluff. Slow-burn, angst, please give Miguel some love, mentions of death

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can't lose this again!

I can't lose another person I care about!

The day you entered Miguel's life was honestly a godsent. Miguel had felt like his life was crashing down. He had lost his motive to do much after losing his one shot at a happy life. After losing his daughter. After losing what he thought was everything.

Miguel had been sitting alone in his lab, contemplating everything he has done.

Why can't I be allowed to be happy?

Miguel was ready to call it quits, but that was before you showed up. Lost and confused on your first day. Honestly, this was probably for the best. A good distraction for Miguel.

By the end of the day, you had thanked Miguel and wondered if you could possibly get more of his help in the future. Unable to say no, Miguel agreed.

You had brought a little light to his day.

--------

Each day you appeared before Miguel was another 'joyful' day. You were so kind and caring that no matter how Miguel was feeling, you just managed to make him feel better.

It felt almost selfish, but Miguel had requested you to work under him. He needed someone who could distract him. He wanted you to need him so that he felt useful. So that Miguel felt like there was still a reason to go on.

You were quite helpful. Miguel was honestly surprised by how well you knew your way around a machine. In his eyes, you were the best hire since him.

Don't leave me too.

------

As the days turned into weeks, Miguel had started to grow attached to you. You were making his life better by just being around. You had gained his trust and he with yours. It was purely by accident, but Miguel had started to reveal secrets to you.

It was embarassing.

But you just smiled and shared yours. Miguel had to resist a groan as he craved your smile; your attention; your being. You had become part of Miguel's life and he didn't want to lose you either. So, Miguel gave you an offer...

"(Y/N), I want you to work for me...at my other job." Miguel whispered as the two of you walked around the city of Nueva York.

"Ohhhhh, I get to be Spider-Man's helper! Count me in~"

"Huh? What? Since when have you known?" Miguel asked, quite shocked by your reaction. You just giggled to yourself,

"I got quite the eye, Miguel. I noticed quite a bit ago, buuuut, I was waiting for you to tell me."

Miguel was at a loss for words. You were just staring at him with a big ol' smile on your face. Feeling as if a heavy weight lifted off his shoulder, Miguel thanked you. You were giddy with joy and jumped onto Miguel, giving him a big hug.

Don't let go.

Miguel forced a chuckle as he held you, almost afraid to hug you back.

---------

Having you at the Spider Society was a great addition. You were like an angel for Miguel. Always there when he needed you. Always there when Miguel NEEDED you.

It was hard for Miguel to admit anything, but he knew for a fact that he loved you. You were always there for him when he needed a shoulder to lean on. When Miguel needed to vent his stress, you always gave him your ear.

The way your hands stroked his face whenever you tried to calm him down...was intoxicating.

The way your eyes sparkled as you kept eye contact with him was ever melting.

The soothing sound of your voice just made Miguel want to close his eyes and fall asleep in your embrace.

But what if I'm the only one who feels like this?

Miguel felt like he was standing on a lone mountain, watching everyone from above. Making sure that nothing fell out of place. His reach for you, ever so far.

"Hehe, Miguel, get down here and try out my new gadget," You called out.

"Gizmo," Miguel corrected.

Not wanting to waste a second, Miguel jumped down towards you. As you ran to him in glee, an image of Gabi took your place. Miguel shuddered as the blood drained from his face.

"Miguel? Are you alright?" You asked, your hand resting against his cheek, "You've look like you seen a ghost."

"Aye...for a moment...I did,"

Miguel held your hand, enjoying the warmth you gave. All of this was to protect you. Miguel could not fathom the thought of losing someone else he loved. If anything were to ever happen to you, then Miguel might just-"

"Hey, it's okay," You whispered, pulling Miguel into a hug, "You're hurting, but you don't have to do it alone. I'm here for you."

Don't let go, please.

Miguel inhaled sharply as he allowed himself to wrap his arms around your waist.

Don't leave me.

His head buried in your shoulder, inhaling your scent to calm him down.

Please, you're all I have.

Your soothing words calming him, bringing him back to his senses.

Miguel was going to make sure nothing ever happens to you. He was not going to have your blood on his hands. You had to stay alive for him. As much as Miguel wanted you, he knew that protecting you was more important than anything.

-------

You had gotten close to Miguel. Each day, Miguel craved more and more of your touch. You were perfect. If only Miguel had known better, than you would have been perfect for Gabi too. The two of you would have loved each other.

"You're overthinking again," You cooed as you planted yourself on Miguel's lap, "C'mon, help me fix this giiiiiizmo," You teased.

Miguel withheld a breathe as you placed yourself on top of him. His hands trembled slightly as he slowly placed them against your waist. He was hesitant, but Miguel rested his head against your shoulder, watching you tinker with the object.

"You seem to have it done," Miguel muttered. You turned your head to face his,

"I know, I just needed a comfy spot."

Miguel's eyes widen as you snickered towards his shocked expression. Almost at a lost for words, Miguel tried to think of something, but then you stopped his brain once more once you pecked his lips.

"Lyla, looks like I broke Miguel~" You chuckled.

I'll break for you. Anything for you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

GIVE THIS MAN SOME LOVE PLEASE!!!!!!

Hope you enjoyed~

[dead-boys-club]

†  normal : hawks.

❥ scenario: this is a cluster fuck of different writing based on concerns and desires of keigo with his civilian lover. * it's written like this because the request wasn't really specified, so you get the answer in multiple different way. ❥ no triggers; not rated. however, this does have spoilers - i think?? ❥ i don't have any beta readers - you get what you get. ❥ this was a request <3

I apologize - this ended up so much longer than i originally anticipated.

let me start off first with a few little hcs that come to mind.

One: when it comes to the idea of having a normal life and what to do about it, keigo is going to keep it to himself until he can't anymore. he already assumes it's a doomed thought - he's government/commission property, right? he's not allowed to have a normal life and he's well aware of the fact that as long as he's useful, he doesn't have much of a say. He would keep an eye on you, watching you go about your daily routines with a consent nagging voice in the back of his thoughts; constant longing, wariness - it's almost as if it's splitting him apart to have all of these thoughts. thoughts that he continues to tell himself he's not allowed to have. even when he's mid mission, he still has the idea of your future in the back of his mind. he's very much going to suffer in silence over it.

Two: his idea of normalcy, to him, is quite boring but that's the point. he often lays awake at night, imagining what it would be like to have a small house, somewhere no one can find, maybe with a garden and a pet - something so domestic with you causes his bones to ache and makes him restless. those imagines, so whimsical and pretty, always turn to nightmares the moment his eyes close because.. what if something happens to you? he would find himself teetering on the edge of his own ability to keep sane trying to have his own life. all he wants is simplicity; routines.. a home with love, laughter - no broken promises, bloodshed or the idea of one of you not making it home.

Three: he does have one idea. one idea that's so.. awful and pathetic that he wonders if he'll sound crazy even bringing it up to you. running away with you. it would be possible, right? he could find a way. your optimism would make up for the uncharacteristic lack of his own in that moment when he finally lets the idea slip. he wants a life where he can just be present with you and maybe that's what needs to be done. [ SPOILER? ] when keigo loses his quirk, despite his fears of not being able to protect you.. he really starts holding onto the dream of being with you, normal, enjoying life. after all - how can you be a hero without a quirk?

Four: even if he brought it up to you before, he would still battle it before finally coming to the decision to do something. he would sit with you, probably very uncertain and unsure, even though you'd already seemed enthusiastic about it. he would explain his thoughts, his nightmares, his fears.. his desire to keep you safe and keep you happy, away from the life he'd grown tired of. he loved saving people but he just wanted something he never had the chance to have before. he would offer you the chance of a fresh start, just the two of you, repeating to you, your comment that everyone can be free of the shadows of their past if they take the right steps.

with your support and thrilled agreement to follow him, because honestly, you'd follow him anywhere. he would find himself grasping at hope as you spent time planning, chatting about the future you both wanted. it would be frustrating. yes, it was decided but he would have his moments of feeling like he was stopping your life as well but he would be so conflicted, he couldn't find a balance between the pros and cons that didn't make him feel selfish.

✧*̥˚ first tiny drabble *̥˚✧

keigo had spent years pining over the idea of normalcy - a home, a loving family and the pleasure of living an every day life; an idea he'd abandoned countless times due to being a hero. the ache in his chest grew worse when he'd met you, a civilian who had chuckled off his hero persona and saw straight threw it, smiling and brushing it off; you saw him as just another person and that moment, he began to dream that maybe he could be just that.

your ability to stand by and cheer him on through everything furthered the chaos on his mind, something he kept from you the best he could. you supported him through the challengers and dangers that came with being a hero and at the end of the day, you greeted him the same way and welcomed him home, letting him shed the skin of 'hawks' and live just a few hours as himself. you brought him solace, anchoring him to reality as he battled having a double life. time passed, though, and he could only handle it alone for so long before realizing he couldn't just ignore the growing desire to have a normal life.. he just knew he had responsibilities that he couldn't simply walk away from. they wouldn't let him.

he battled with the secrets, the lies, his past, your safety.. all of it was becoming too much.

after one rather harsh mission that left you both a little shaky, keigo found himself staring out the window, the evening sky bleeding into night and his bones aching beneath skin and muscle. that didn't matter though. you sat beside him, quiet, and giving him the space to relax, just content to have him home.

'this.. i love this,' he finally spoke, voice holding the softest tinge of regret, and followed by a sigh. 'being here with you, so close, it's everything i've ever wanted.' he couldn't deny his enjoyment of his career but truly, nothing beat getting to sink next to you and not think anymore.

you squeezed his hand, silent encouragement for him to continue, curious where his thoughts had fallen.

'but..' keigo shifted, words having heavy in the air as a frown ghosted over his features. 'they don't like it.. this isn't the life i'm supposed to be living. they're call it a liability and.. well, that puts you in danger.'

understanding the concern, you were growing afraid of where the conversation was headed. 'it's not like i didn't know the risks when i agreed to be with you.. i love you, regardless of the danger, you know that.' that felt to easy to you, tightening your hold on his hand.

the blond tipped his head to look at you, tired and a little overwhelmed, 'and i love you, too, more than anything.'

you frowned. 'but..'

his shoulders slumped and he squeezed your hand. 'but,' he repeated, 'am i being selfish? risking your safety just for a few hours of being normal, it's not fair to you.'

immediately, you began shaking your head, firm with how you chose to respond. 'Keigo, you listen to me. this isn't just about you or what you want - it's about us, isn't it? i chose to be with you because i love you and i trust you; because i fully believe in you. so what, with you or not.. i'd be facing risks every day with the world we live in. i'd rather face those risks with you.'

he swallowed hard, eyebrows briefly pulling together. 'that's what scares me. you're willingness to put yourself in this position.' he didn't like admitting it but he had no choice, feeling backed into a corner with the world around him, making his choices for him. 'it's something so.. real.'

it took a moment for you not to chuckle, knowing it would earn you a look you didn't need, and reached to cup his face, thumbs brushing gingerly at his features. 'we will face whatever comes out way together. i'm not going anywhere.'

his eyes slipped shut, leaning towards the warmth of your touch. 'i know,' he mumbled, tone making it obvious just how low he felt. 'just.. i need to figure it out, how to keep you safe.. how to make all of this work.'

'and we will.' you smiled, leaning up to press a lingering kiss to his forehead, 'if we aren't facing them together.. well, that's not real love.'

he didn't respond, just pulled you closer, finding solace in your words and presence. keigo knew that with you, he'd already found a home, nothing else mattered - he just needed to keep that safe.

✧*̥˚ another small drabble but with spice *̥˚✧

tension was an awful thing and it hung thick in the apartment as you and keigo as he paced, his demeanor fractured in frustration and agitation. you sat, silent, watching him with concern, knowing full well that his outburst didn't come from something so surface level. his deep-rooted fear of losing you, your safety, it was getting to him.

'kei..' you pleaded barely above a whisper, breaking the silence. 'i get that you're concerned, and i unde--'

keigo turned on his heel to face you, the expression he held so intense that you were a little surprised. 'but nothing!' he hadn't even realized he raised his voice. 'do you understand what could happen..? what could happen to you just because you're with me? what they could do to you?'

you were honestly a little confused; you weren't sure if he was speaking on the topic of the commission or villains anymore but you brushed that aside. his words cut deep, the fear and desperation as his hands clenched into fists at his sides. it made your heart weep to see him in such a pent up state and as you stood, you thought carefully over what you were going to say.

'i know it's dangerous. i know.. we have things coming at us from more than one side,' you began, keeping your voice as steady as you could manage, trying not to let your own whirlwind of emotions make things worse. 'but, i can't just walk away.'

he shook his head, jaw clenching for a second. 'i'm not asking you to walk away, i'd rather be on my knees begging you not to,' he said, his voice becoming softer. 'what you don't understand is .. is i don't know what i would do if something happened to you. i need you to be careful. i need you to stay safe.'

'i am careful. i'm always careful,' you frowned, 'i know how to take care of myself. did you forget that? i made it how long before i met you?'

closing his eyes, he shifted his weight and took a moment to collect himself, struggling to rein in emotions that felt like he no longer had control over. when he finally spoke, you could hear the regret laced within the words. 'i know you do. it just scares me to think i could lose you.. because of me.'

you hated the way tears welled up, the weight of his words settling heavy on your shoulders and you weren't sure what to say. reaching out for his hand, you held onto it tightly.

'i love you.' your voice trembled and you took in a soft breath. 'i'm not going anywhere.. and i'll fight tooth and nail if something ever happens. but, i need you to trust me as much as i trust you.'

looking down at your hands, then up to you, keigo's gaze softened. 'i do trust you. it's hard.'

'i know.' carefully pulling him into a tight, comforting embrace, you took in a deep breath to keep from falling apart. 'we'll figure it out. we always do.'

✧*̥˚ thoughts *̥˚✧

as impossible as hawks would think it was.. i don't think he'd ever be with someone who agreed with him - because he needs someone by his side that is willing to fight for him and face the world with him. maybe a completely normal life wouldn't be something he could have, not with his quirk, but his s/o would do everything in their abilities to give him as many normal moments of they could.

hawks would grasp on to every single moment he could - despite the worries and concerns. however, if she were in danger.. i think he would probably shut down. he's very rational, very logical - he knows it's possible but if it actually happened? i don't think he would be able to handle the way he felt.

so, let's go into some hcs about her getting hurt - and i'm breaking this down, outside of a scenario, for the simple fact i don't have a scene base.

✧*̥˚ if his s/o actually got hurt *̥˚✧

let's start off with his initial reaction because not a single person could look at me and say he wouldn't feel guilty; he'd feel like his entire world just shattered to pieces. everything they'd talked about, fought about - it had become reality. he would be overwhelmed and probably angry with himself about not being able to protect her, thinking over and questioning every single little choice he'd made that lead to not being there for her. he would blame himself. if this happened, say.. like during the mla arc and she was a casualty, i think he'd become very.. how to say, merciless with whoever he was against, because he'd be fueled by the racing thoughts of; is she alive? is she okay? does she hate me? i failed her.

not a single thing would matter to him until he got to see her and the moment he learned where she was, he was off - almost begrudgingly finishing what he needed to, first. he's probably not in the best shape and he doesn't give a single shit about anyone around him - he just needs to get to her. he would be so desperate to find her, words almost not coherent as he asked around the staff.

it would take everything in him not to be on his knees the moment he saw her in a hospital bed, feeling like he didn't even deserve to be called a hero when he couldn't save the one person he truly loved. however, i will say, he's not going anywhere. he would be by her side, barely sleeping or eating, ignoring others, refusing to leave until she was leaving with him - he would be reluctant to have his own injuries looked at because they didn't matter. those around him, they wouldn't recognize him - the hawks sitting beside her bedside was someone that no one else knew. the tears, the cursing; he was in pain and struggling with heart ache just being there.

as he sat there, holding her hand, he'd be left with his thoughts and let's be honest.. hawks is not a character that should be left with endless time alone with his thoughts. doesn't matter the topic. his confidence would be broken. his own self worth would be trash. hawks already has moments of believing he isn't worth a grain of salt but he'd be so caved in that he would doubt his ability to be a hero, a partner, a human being. in his mind, even being a hero that's supposed to keep countless people safe, he would have failed his most important role.

as she began to recover, hawks would slowly sink into a world of contemplation on what to do when she was out. he'd have done something he thought was even shittier than letting her get injured - he would write out a break up note, because he didn't feel worthy of facing her. she would never see it, he couldn't do that but he debated on if no longer being connected to her would help; maybe it was the only way to keep her safe. he would tell her this and it would be a very heavy, very draining conversation and he would feel like absolute shit for putting her through something so emotionally and mentally exhausting after what she'd been through but.. he would be a little relieved when she lightly hit the back of his head and told him to stop thinking that way.

hawks would walk away from this with even more determination to be better; to be a better partner, hero, etc. he'd become even more vigilant and serious, needing to do what he could to make sure she never ended up hurt again. even though she reminded him that he couldn't always be there and things happened - he would still do his damndest.

even if his lover could bounce back and reassure him, i think a situation like this would honestly be pretty traumatic for him. he already struggles with guilt and regret and that would just deepen - it would be something he would bring up every blue moon, needing to vent and hide away with her for a day or two just to deal with the thoughts and feelings that came with them. because of her, ignoring the AFO quirk situation, he would accept that.. things couldn't be perfect, couldn't be as simple and normal as he wanted.. but he would just have to make due with what she made normal for him, and he'd be happy with that. he would still think about it.. dream of a home, peace.. and he would hold onto hope that one day he could have that but until that day, he would work with it and just be happy to have someone who cherished him so much.

[cl-0v3r]

can I talk about something real quick?

I hate how 99% of arcane fans completely Ignore their favorite character's flaws so much. I know this has been complained about multiple times but i genuinely get so tired of it and physically need to turn off my phone when that happens.

And Im not talking about Jinx, everyone knows she's not a great person, neither am I talking about silco or Sevika or quite literally any of the characters that are placed on the darker shade of grey.

Im talking about characters like Viktor or Mel or Jayce, Vi & Caitlyn aswell, but specifically the first three.

Look, we all know what their intentions are, they only wanted to help, they wanted the best for their cities/family and their goals, but the way they do it is Flawed. The sacrifices and nuance they go through and do just to achieve that specific ideal and goal affects how morally ambiguous or not they are.

What annoys me is that most of these people KNOW, but refuse to accept it and continue bringing down other characters because they refuse to accept there's different opinions over something in the show.

Especially with viktor, he is NAUNCED. He is selfish one way or another, he is willing to destroy himself for the sake of making something too far gone work, and not only did that destroy him, but completely result in the death of Sky. And eventually, that is going to destroy his relationship with Jayce too. He refuses to create weapons even if it means as a tool for self defence because he refuses to accept that zaun is not the most stable in terms of aggression, he got mad at Jayce for calling them dangerous when there was a literal riot on the bridge, a scene playing right infront of his eyes. Again, he is rightful to feel protective of his home, but he is ignorant towards certain things too.

I see so many people ignore viktors flaws and wrong doings, did we forget who he's going to become next season or what?? He literally committed a murder wether he wanted to do it or not. which is lowkey kinda hilarious because I don't see people defending Jayce for murdering that child despite the fact that its equally as wrong as Viktors mishap. He.is.not.flawless.

Mel, oh my god. i love Mel with all my heart, shes my everything, but she is a councilor. yes she's focusing on proving her family wrong, yes she wants to make piltover a better, safer place, and I don't think she's completely ignorant towards the undercity's state, but what has she done about it? Now, its not entirely her fault, I know, its all accumulated from Himerdingers ignorance, but that does not change the fact that she is apart of the same body that kept the undercity in its current state with all its problems for generations. She is a manipulator too, she wants things to go her way, wether it was with good intent or not. She pushed for weapons, YES, as a means of self defense, YES as protection from external threats coming from places other than P&Z, but her mother wasn't completely wrong about how weapons will always be used in every way possible, but she finds it difficult to accept such fact. Not to mention the fact that she literally told a zaunite to create a weapon that would be used against zaun.

So no, her being manipulative is not hot (this literally pisses me off the most) , especially not after that scene with hoskel because she BASICALLY called him stupid and belittled him indirectly. Is it true hes not the smartest? Yeah, did she do it to get him under her palm and ended up using him to do something "Good" in the end? Yeah, Is she good at doing it? Yeah, does she look good while doing it? Yeah, but she looks good ALL THE TIME. Manipulation is not what makes her attractive, its a FLAW, an ugly one. So calling Mel attractive ONLY because she's manipulative is mischaracterization at its finest. And I will bring this point again, separate intention from action.

I don't want to get into more details about mel, I will lose myself, but she is FLAWED, shes morally grey, she isn't perfect, just as the other characters in the whole show.

Jayce, he goes through multiple extreme points during his arc, he's quick to decide on things. At some points it could be a good thing, like how he apologized to viktor for saying harsh words to him. But what his major flaw with this trait is the fact that he goes between violent and peaceful multiple times, figuratively AND literally. He was settled with the fact that he doesn't want to harm zaun, infact, he wanted to help them in the first place, but he got influenced, and ended up resorting to violence, he lost himself, and it ended with the loss of a child's life. He didn't want to make weapons before, got influenced, look where it got him now? He is selfish too, and the list goes on.

Though, Its rare to find people who defend Mel and Jayce in this entire fandom, most of the people I've seen who claim to be fans of them tend to do this all the time smh.

And I just know I will start a war as soon as I open my mouth to talk about Vi & Cait. Which is why I won't because this post is long enough and I want to cover other things.

Please keep in mind that I wrote everything as flatly as possible, so the way you understand the things I say may be different from what I initially thought of, I swear on my life I do not hate these characters, Jayce Mel & Viktor are literally my upmost favorite characters of all time.

This is mostly talking about how sometimes you need to separate the intentions from the actions these characters do, because most of the time, actions speak louder than words.

ALL your favorite characters in Arcane and flawed, they have problems, they aren't perfect. And that's what makes each so special, because it makes you wonder how they will clean their footsteps and deal with those said flaws later if they decide to partake the lighter path, or how they will step deeper into the darker one. And even so, they will still be on the grey scale.

By far, Ekko is the only character closest to white if im being honest, and he still isn't perfect.

Arcane fans need to understand their favorite characters in different points of view, not just from their eyes, even if you agree with their doings and find it right.

One big example that i will bring up again, that scene with Mel, Viktor and Jayce discussing the potential misuse of hextech as Viktor dismantles the bomb. You can understand Viktors point of view, but why not Mels too? (& Vice Versa)

Another is the scene when Vi finally gets to see her sister in episode 5, Caitlyn tagging along with her. You finally get to see powder and Vi reunited, you feel content, and then Jinx comes back and gets angry on why Vi is with an enforcer, which is well within her rights considering how they literally killed countless of zaunites and people, but why not understand from Caitlyns side too? Jinx is a wanted criminal, she'd put a building on fire, killed people in the process, stole volatile items with possibly horrible intentions considering what her crimes are.

ANOTHER is the bridge scene with Jayce and Viktor with the riots, Why the fuck is Jayce calling them dangerous infront of viktor??? Hes well within his rights to be mad! But he isn't WRONG, And jayce is under a lot of stress, and viktor is literally going against him by taking shimmer, and God that list never ends.

Literally almost any other scene.

caitlyn Ekko & Vi , Vi and the Council , Vi and Jayce , Jinx and Vi on episode 9 , Silco and Jayce , Mel and Ambessa , Mel and Viktor, Mel and Jayce in some scenes (like when she put him on the council) , singed and Viktor , etc etc etc

Need i say more??

All of these characters are full of layer upon layer of writing, they're all so well written, their intentions, ideals, morals, are all bricks and pipes of what builds them as characters, but their flaws and nuance is the 'glue' of what keeps them standing too. They may have no choice but to do or say those things that they do or say, because if they don't, they will possibly crumble. But that does not mean it gives them a pass, in the end of the day,, murder is still murder, ignorance is still ignorance, manipulation is still manipulation, and etc. They're not all equally as horrible as the other, but that does not make them better qualities, comparing all these issues/problems and completely siding with one thing because you find A to be less horrible than B is not a good start to understanding Arcane or any show with a similar level of writing to it.

as usual, im sorry for any mistakes or if this is uncollected and full of reptitivness, I don't usually correct my rants or anything because they're like... rants... And im very sorry for nagging about certain things, some points may actually be wrong so please don't feel afraid to give advice or correct me over them NICELY. Other than that its really just my opinion, i just wanted to get the "understand characters from different views" & "sEpEraTe InTentIons FroM ActIons" points across.

[10underoot2]

Faithful Lovers

This scene has become one of my favourite things to exist.

I love this scene for the rawness and openess of conversation. It's both of them telling each other with so much conviction why they need the other to see their perspective. It's vulnerable, it's beautifully done, it's art.

The pain in the hug is so palpable but so is the comfort. It's so hard to see her trying to add distance between them - before Hyunwoo pulls her into his embrace - cause she can.not.be.swayed.by.him. Does Hyunwoo apologise for putting her in a situation like this? For not realising just how much she has to lose? Or for being selfish begging her to say yes to this surgery?

Don’t do this to me. Don’t make me want to live. I won't be able to recognize you. I'll become a stranger.

First things first, thank you Kim Jiwon for that delivery. It killed me emotionally, made me cry and want to hug you even more. Protect this beautiful smoll bean at all costs.

Notice how one of the major things that keeps breaking her resolve is him. His love. His understanding. His physical being. Yet the only thing stopping her from living is also him . His memories. His love. Him.

When he tries to convince her that she will fall in love with him again her little head shake says 'But it won't be the same.' I love how it isn't written off as Oh I know I'll be able to love you. She has doubts. So many of them. I think just the idea that she could wake up and lose her ability to love him is unbearable to her. What if she can't love with the same intensity? Not feel what she feels right this moment? What if she looks into his eyes after the surgery and feels like she would rather forget him than die? Haein knows how much Hyunwoo's put into ensuring she lives yet she rather experience that love than throw it all away on a chance.

But Hyunwoo is defiant. He's not taking no for an answer. He can't anymore. He hates that she won't listen to him. That she's having doubts. Isn't it common sense? He'll be there. They'll figure it all out. She'll be alive. It's such an interesting and logical perspective to have 'as long as there is life anything can happen.' because once she's dead that's it.. it's the end. But if she's alive, the possibility and capacity of love still exists.

Even if you don't fall for me, ignore me or dislike me I'll still be there for you through it all. Why doesn't this kid understand that's exactly why she can't agree to it. She can't bear the possibility of that happening.

I think Hyunwoo shines when he says 'I made a promise. That I'd be by your side even if there's a debt or something more. So don't worry and just stay here please.'

Notice how this is directly in contrast with what she says right at the beginning 'We make promises in good times thinking they'll never end.' But Hyunwoo remembers and he's willing to be there through it all.

Don't pray about dying. I'm terrified it'll come true.

She's praying to die. Let that sink in. For a man who believes enough to pray for her to be saved, when her death is so imminent - almost a fact, this is indeed terrifying. I feel his fear and pain. Good grief, she's praying to die when there's such a big possibility of exactly that. She accepted her fate and he's willing to fight tooth and nail to change it. It's a tesimtiment to how many times he's spent thinking of a life without her. He's convincing her to rid of their memories. I know he's aware of exactly what it means. The chances they're taking but the idea of not seeing her again is so unbearable for him.

I love Haein's strong mindedness. She didn't budge. Her last look for me read 'I get it. I get it all but just no. I can't lose you. Please don't cry and make this harder. Don't make me want to live.' and with that she hardens her heart as she steps away and takes her hand from him.

While this man, ouff this man. Can we take a moment to appreciate the sheer desperation on his face. After she signals no again he's so helpless. 'Please, please see me and live, if only for me. I cannot fathom this earth without you.' Seriously, we all need to take a minute to appreciate his desperation throughout this scene. The woman that he loves, his ideal women won't agree to stay alive because she loves him too deeply. Just writing this hurts me.

It's interesting this scene works because by now we know where they both stand in this episode. For me, the reason this scene shines is the vulnerability - the two of them having this extremely open and confrontational confession. When scenes like this are executed and written well it creates everlasting frames like this.

Also they both suck at praying. If you're praying just pray to keep her alive and keep her memories intact. Why are they picking and choosing? It's not like God has a limit to what he can do. Truly nonsense prayers from both of them. 🙃

Gif credits: @jcpostsobsessions and @seawherethesunsets

[whetstonefires]

See I don't necessarily disagree with what seems to be the primary reading that Yue Qingyuan's shifu fucked him over, caring nothing for his needs or preferences and only for whether he was useful. That makes sense, it ties into plenty of the generational and societal themes of the story. It fits.

But iirc we don't actually get enough information to know that's what happened.

And the thing is it would be so in-character and also thematically appropriate if Yue Qingyuan absolutely did not explain his goals or why he was working so hard, because it was private and shameful and he didn't expect any sympathy, and there was a high risk of losing everything if he blabbed.

And also if he engaged with the existing ruleset with which he was presented, i.e. 'can't go off on your own on personal business until you've mastered your sword,' in the most negative and controlling manner possible, as absolute commandments.

He's a different kind of guy but he comes from the same background as Shen Jiu! It fucked him up also!

He is very very very not a guy who trusts the system to make allowances for him--even once he has all the power he 'does what he wants' and 'makes selfish choices' as a conscious transgression; not something he has a right to do, just something he can get away with so he's gonna. (And ofc he spends almost all the latitude he grants himself on sqq.)

And even less is he a guy who opens up easily.

He isn't too proud to ask for help or pity, so much as he just doesn't expect to get any.

So in this interpretation, he understood that rule as a non-negotiable barrier in his path, the target to overcome, and focused all his considerable will and talent on overcoming it through the sphere of action he felt he had control over.

And fucked himself up bad.

Whereupon his teacher, possessing absolutely no context for this dumb shit their star pupil pulled, did the only thing they thought might work to save his life, paying in the process no attention to the raving of someone deep in a psychotic break.

Like, I feel like there should have been a better, kinder medical option, but I don't know for sure that there was, so I can't say with certainty this was the kind of cruelty that derives from not caring enough.

And it really would be kind of elegant and so typical of Yue Qingyuan's fundamental tragedy if the real mistake was 'not confiding in anybody' the whole time.

And he was just so deeply sunk into the understanding that explaining and asking were useless that, even looking back, it never really occurred to him that maybe his mistake wasn't 'fucking it up when trying too hard to solve everything on his own' but 'assuming there was no help to be had, and that he had to do it all on his own.'

Like. What if this really could all have been avoided if he'd just trusted and communicated with the adult in charge of him? But of course, of course his history of trauma (neglect, child abuse, exploitation, being the One Responsible for the younger kids whom he could not keep safe) meant he was absolutely not going to do that.

It was basically impossible. For the person he was, the person the world had made of him. And that's always been the core tragedy the whole novel circles back upon.

People can only ever be themselves, and so very often the elements of self that let them survive until now are that which dooms them, that means they need someone else to intervene if they're ever going to be saved. Because your personal doom is always the thing from which you can't save yourself.

[lucysarah-c]

WE NEED AN ENTIRE STORY OF LEVI AS A BABY BOY DADDY! LIKE PLEASE ITS ACTUALLY TOO GOOD 🙏🙏🙏🙏😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😭😭😭😭😭😭

You all have inspired me to write a one-shot, so I'll post it soon. Thank you so much!

But since I'm on it, I think I'll give you a few headcanons.

In my idea, Levi didn't have many children, and while sometimes my scenarios may change depending on the situation, mostly Levi's boy would be an only child. This wasn't Levi's original idea, and I'll explain why.

Leaving aside whether in the canon period of time there are real contraceptives or not, I 100% believe Levi is a highly meticulous guy. If he needs to pull out and count days in the old-fashioned way, he will. If he has to wear condoms every single time, he will. I believe Levi would try to make sure that if he ever has a child, it would be planned, as far as is humanly possible, of course. Sometimes contraceptives fail, etc.

In my mind, I believe Levi and Y/N decided or happened to have a kid around the time before the expedition to Wall Maria. There was about half a year when the scouts waited for the correct time to do the expedition to Wall Maria. Well, I believe she probably got pregnant around that time. I believe it was a mix between Levi transitioning a lot of emotions after Kenny's death, etc., and having more free time on his hands since they weren't doing expeditions while preparing for the mission… and well… let's say they decided to go handy, haha.

With that said… I think Levi would hardly admit it out loud, but he's one of those guys who always wanted to be parents, so they kinda said, "You know what? Fuck it, if it happens, it happens," and well, it happened almost immediately. Levi hears the news around two months later, and let me tell you, this man is all over the moon. He wants to be part of EVERYTHING. For me, Levi wants to prove that he is better than the men who failed his mother and also failed him. Levi wants to prove he can be a present father.

She goes to the doctor for just a check, he wants to be there. Better keep his man informed because he would ask a million questions. He's a first-time father, and she may sneeze, and he's all worried. Levi saw too many women die in childbirth or from difficult pregnancies in the underground. He's blessed with the chance of being a father, but also terrified. Levi feels that if he loses his love just because he "grew selfish" and asked for more (aka asked for a kid), he would feel horrible.

Anyways, back in the day, men waited outside during birth, and I believe they would try to kick Levi out of the room, and he would be like, "and who is going to stop me?" He wants to be there.

Now is when his baby boy comes into the picture. I believe, and God bless the mother, he was such a healthy CHUNKY boy. He was BIG. Those kinds of kids that look so healthy but at the same time, it's like "he literally sucked her dry, that baby took anything the mother has to offer."

Like, she's too tired after childbirth, and the nurses offer Levi feeding bottles with milk to keep the baby eating while the mother rests… and the baby is EATING to the point a doctor comes, pats Levi's arm playfully, and says, "Hope you've a good salary, Captain, because that kid is going to eat like a horse."

Perhaps these are the only few times that Levi is the most excited out of the two, she's tired from all the work, and Levi is over the moon. Ah, but don't you dare to touch his baby without washing your hands. If Levi could force you to take a bath in chlorine before even getting close to his baby, he would.

Aside from that, I think Levi's baby boy that I've named in my mind "Adrien" because Y/N thinks that naming her kids with A's to match the last name, especially since Ackerman's are finally able to not be in hiding.

In my mind, Adrien inherits Kenny's height. Yes, as you heard, KENNY'S HEIGHT. 190cm (6'3"). He's a big boy. I think it's funny that all the doctors check the baby and say, "haha, he's going to be tall!" and Levi is there looking at her like "… I don't like to admit I'm short as fuck, but if the kid isn't mine you can tell me," joking obviously, lmao.

"Levi, the kid is a photocopy of you."

Adrien is an extremely playful, happy, and hyperactive kid. He's so cheerful, and it makes Levi wish his mother was around so he could ask if he was such a cheerful kid too.

Chunky fat legs running down the halls as he doesn't even speak properly, but he already knows which office is daddy's office. He loves horses, he loves playing soldier, he loves being a daddy's boy.

This is when I mention that I believe Levi having a single child wasn't his original plan. I think he wished to give Adrien a sibling to make sure he won't be alone in life if anything ever happens to him as he was. But the whole rumbling happened, and after that, Levi was too busy trying to move him and his family outside of Paradise and after that settling down, taking care of Gabi and Falcon, that well time flew, and when everything was back to calmness, haha, well let's say that Levi had to admit that the train had left the station, and his energy to go back to change diapers had kinda withdrawn, lmao.

Finally, I think Adrien was a very hyperactive kid mainly because of the Ackerman genes. He has energy, he has strength, he has the abilities. He just has too much bottled up and doesn't know how to get tired. Levi is basically running around making sure the kid isn't jumping from the roof or climbing the kitchen cupboards. He probably ends up signing him up for a bunch of activities: baseball, self-defense classes, football, triathlon.

I have a bunch of other headcanons, so let me know if you want more!"

Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @i-literally-cant-with-this @angelofthorr @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @s0meb0dy-0nce-t0ld-me @trashblackrainbow @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @flxrartsstuff @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 Wanna join my tag list? Here!

[thef1diary]

Memories | D. Ricciardo

Summary: Daniel's return to RedBull is not just a return to the team, it's a return to you but it just might be too late for that.

Based on the song Memories by Conan Gray

Warnings: angst, fluff, coarse language

Word Count: 2.9k+

Note: this is a repost of a one shot from my old account. Felt like I should start with this since Danny’s back on the grid.

The chapter that seemed like it was never ending has finally ended. Daniel is free from McLaren. It wasn't just a team-oh how he wishes it was-it was worse than anything he could've possibly been through.

Or so he thought.

Signing the papers at RedBull to be a third driver wasn't something he thought he'd ever do. But the team treated him better than McLaren ever could. So he was happy. Glad to return to a place where his mental health could be at ease.

That was, until he remembered everything that happened once he left. He remembered how things ended between you and him.

‘It's been a couple of months’

You can't say that you're happy but at least you're better than you were a while ago. When you heard the news of Daniel Ricciardo returning to RedBull, it was an overload of emotions that you kept locked away.

‘That's just about enough time for me to stop crying when I look at all the pictures’

You remember the first day you met Daniel, all those years ago when you joined the team to handle the social media side of it all. You two were well acquainted from the moment you began. He was one of the very few people who personally welcomed you in the team.

Then, you sat right beside him, giving him a little special treatment as you showed him the photos you were planning on posting to the team's socials. It was of him, smiling wide as he always did, while talking to his teammate.

It's been a long time since then, so you never thought you'd be the one posting the photo of him once again clad in a RedBull team shirt.

‘Now I kinda smile, I haven't felt that in a while’

You briefly forgot about his return to the team-well truthfully, you were trying to avoid it as much as you could. You weren't upset that he was returning, you were just trying to wrap your head around the fact that you'd have to see him more often. Hearing his accented voice, laughs, jokes wasn't something you could prepare for.

You could avoid him when he was at McLaren, but you didn't need to as much. Mainly because he never came to the garage just for you.

He was in too deep with the mess at McLaren since day two, and as much as he wanted to, he couldn't make the time out too come see you. You knew parts of what happened at McLaren through Max, because Daniel would always talk to him. It hurt that he didn't come to you. You thought that you would still be the person he'd come to with his problems, not run away from.

Fortunately, you didn't see him at all since the announcement. Well, you were invited at a party where everyone was welcoming him but you didn't go because you weren't feeling well. Which was kind of a lie.

However, you didn't know that Daniel was only excited for the gathering because he wanted to see you. It was selfish, wanting to see you when he was the one who ended things, but if he wasn't selfish now, then he'd lose everything he needed.

Maybe he already did but he didn't want to accept it.

Once he set his mind on something, he would do anything to complete it. And now, he wanted to see you.

‘It's late, I hear the door

Bell ringing, and it's pouring’

You should be asleep by now, it's midnight and you have an early day tomorrow. But you couldn't. You want to believe that it's because you slept in today, but you know deep down that it's not.

It's hard to submit to the silence of the night when you don't want to be lonely. Fighting that thought, you step out in the kitchen to fill a glass of water. But that is long forgotten when you hear a knock on the door. You want to believe that it's just the sound of rain tapping against the wooden door.

You stood there, frozen as you watched the door, knowing that someone was standing on the other side. And you knew who it was, just didn't want to accept it yet.

Then, the doorbell rang, making you flinch as the sound was quite loud compared to the soft patter of the rain against the glass. Taking a deep breath, you decided to feel a bit of pity on the man, knowing him well enough that he didn't bring an umbrella with him.

‘I open up that door, see your brown eyes at the entrance’

As expected, all he had on was a hood that was now soaking wet. His curls laid flat on his forehead, matted due to the rain.

His eyes no longer had the brightness in them that they once did. You felt bad, but didn't say anything.

Daniel felt relief as soon as he saw you. His arms were itching to wrap around you. "Hi" he said, but his voice was rough, as if he didn't say a single word in a long time. Well, he didn't, to you.

You didn't respond. You might've been friends and something more before, but right now you did not want to engage in a normal conversation with him. Nothing in between you two was normal.

‘You just wanna talk, and I can't turn away a wet dog’

You gave in after he asked to come inside a few times. The first few times you denied, but he didn't let up. The only reason you let him in was because it was raining outside, and you didn't want him to get sick.

God, he was so clingy when sick. He would avoid you when he starts to notice that he wasn't feeling the best. But the calls and messages wouldn't stop, in fact, it would increase. Regular messages became phone calls, then video calls because he claimed that he couldn't go a day without seeing your face.

Then, when you would show up with some essentials to help him feel better-because all what he would do is try to sleep it off which never worked-he wouldn't like it at first. You would stand at the door, while he would try to hide the smile growing on his face knowing that you want to take care of him. But maybe you shouldn't have, because not only did you get sick, but you began getting used to being around him.

‘But please, don't ruin this for me

Please, don't make it harder than it already is’

You turned around but his hand instantly caught yours, turning you back around to face him, pulling you towards him. Your other hand landed on his chest to stop you from being fully pressed against him.

You looked up and just for a moment you got lost in his eyes. Being so close felt familiar yet so strange. The memories of all the times you were this close played in your mind like a movie, but that's all it was, memories.

"I'm sorry" he spoke, and perhaps it was the wrong words to start with because you were brought back to the present and immediately moved away from him.

‘I'm trying to get over this

I wish that you would stay in my memories’

"No" you whispered, quiet enough that he didn't hear the first time. "Don't say that" you continued, louder this time.

Tears were stinging your eyes, but you put in all the effort to hold them back. You didn't want to be weak in front of him. You couldn't, not anymore.

He stepped closer to you again, placing his hands on your cheeks, "but it's true. I miss you"

You brought your hands up to his, making him think you're giving in but you tore his hands away from your face. Not wanting his touch.

‘But you show up today just to ruin things’

"How can you miss me if you're the one who walked away?" You asked, not expecting a response so you walked further into your house.

You knew he wouldn't leave, which meant that you could do one of two things; try to sleep while he's in your house, or stay awake and convince him to leave.

You knew you wouldn't be able to sleep, so you decided on the second option. Walking to the kitchen, you took out two bottles of a stronger form of alcohol.

He followed you inside, looking around at the house he's seen plenty of times, still the same. He muttered a "thanks" when you passed him the bottle with little expression on your face.

You sat on the couch while he stood there, watching you. He was in a familiar place, with a familiar person, but it felt so strange. And this was all because of him.

‘I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized

But you're not letting me do that 'cause tonight, you're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in a fetal position’

"Why weren't you at the party?" He asked, a simple question that held a stronger meaning behind. "Wasn't feeling well" you simply replied but you knew that he knew it was a lie.

You took a swig of the alcohol, wanting some liquid courage to say what you've been planning to for all this time. "You know, you don't have to come here just because you're joining the team again."

"That's what you think I'm here for?" He asked, incredulously. You looked up at him but quickly broke the eye contact because it became too overbearing, "why else?"

He sat on the couch in front of you, "there used to be a time where you didn't question me even if I came this late"

You scoffed, "why are you acting like I'm the one who ended things when you're the one who woke up one day and decided to act like we were strangers?"

‘Too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when I say 'I wish that you would stay in my memories'

"I wish I didn't" he hung his head low. It was quiet for a few moments but the silence was deafening. "Yeah, I wish you didn't."

‘In my memories, stay in my memories’

You looked around everywhere to avoid his eyes, but his were fixated on you. He still looked at you with that loving emotion, but the only difference was that his eyes also held pain in them. His bubble was bursting, and he didn't know what to do.

Standing up, you placed the empty bottle on the counter and walked towards your room. As expected, he followed.

"You know what, I'm actually glad that you're here. It'll save me a trip." You spoke as you walked to your closet, sorting through the clothes that belonged to him.

Your actions were rough, probably because of the alcohol. You never had the chance to get rid of his stuff. His stupidly expensive clothes that always smelt like him.

One by one, you threw his clothes at him in frustration. He didn't budge, letting his clothes fall to the floor as he watched you. Taking out the last hoodie you had of his, you remembered when he gave it to you.

It was raining, quite like tonight, but the circumstance was very different. That night, you two were completely sober, but drunk off of each other's presence. Walking to his home, both of you were soaking wet.

Daniel gave you a towel, telling you to go take a warm shower while he laid out his clothes for you. He was very tempted to join you, but he chose not to.

His clothes smelt like him, and you were instantly comforted. But now, that scent overwhelmed you, reminded you of what you were and what you could've been.

Throwing that last piece of clothing at him from a closer distance, you began hitting your fists against his chest. "You left me Dan. You fucking left me. God we were doing so well, I was so happy with you. But no, you had to pull some shitty move and ruin it all."

He let you express your frustration until you started crying. Tears were streaming down your cheeks, and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against him. "I know, baby, I'm sorry"

‘Now I can't say, 'goodbye' if you'll stay here the whole night you see, it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning’

He sighed in relief when he felt your arms tightly wrap around his body. He knew he had a lot to work for; your trust, your love, and you. But he would do it. All for you.

‘Over and over again, I promise that the ending always stays the same’

His relief was very brief, because you parted away from him. Not completely because you were still in his grasp, but you were still stiff, letting him know that you were still on the edge.

"I promise I'll fix everything" he spoke, wiping your tears. You began shaking your head, "you can't"

"Give me a chance, my love, yes we can"

‘So there's no good reason in make-believing’

"You're holding on to a dream, Daniel, a memory. I'm trying my best to move on, so please just let me" you pleaded, moving away from him what felt like the millionth time.

‘That we could ever exist again, I can't be your friend, can't be your lover’

"I don't want us to be a memory, that would kill me" he closed his eyes, not wanting to believe that there would be a future without you. "I don't want you to move on, I know you have a little bit of love for me in your heart."

‘Can't be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love with someone other than me’

"Call me selfish but I don't want to see you with someone else." He continued while you were at a loss for words. Daniel held your hands, wanting something, someone-you-to ground him. He longed for your presence, your warmth.

You two stood there in silence, once again. Your heartbeat was pounding in your ears.

Moving your hands out of his grasp, he hung his head low again, thinking that he lost you forever. Instead of walking away like he expected you to, you lifted his head by placing your fingers underneath his chin.

You realized that he was crying. No matter how bad things got, you've never once seen him cry. But that was because he was always happy around you. He never once felt like he did now in front of you.

Even now, his tears weren't because of you, it was because he believe that he failed. He failed because his love wasn't enough for you.

‘Since you came, I'll let you stay’

"You never give up, do you?" You asked, still sniffling. "For you, never"

"You're not going to leave me again right?" As soon as you got the words out, he began shaking his head, "not until I die"

You placed your finger on his lips, not wanting to hear such absurd thoughts, "don't you dare think about dying"

"You can't live without a heart, and the thing is, you own mine" he stated like it was a true fact. To him, you always owned his heart.

"You own mine too, always did, always will" those words made him realize that you didn't want him to leave.

He smiled, through the tears that you wiped away. "Does that mean-" he started but cut himself off when you nodded. "I still hate you for leaving me"

He hugged you, so tightly that it was almost suffocating. But, his love was all you needed to stay alive.

When he parted away from you, he still held on to you, thinking that if he let go, you'll fade away.

"I love you so, so, so much" he expressed, new tears were stinging his eyes. But it was tears of relief.

He didn't know what he'd do if you turned him down. He didn't want to think about it anymore.

"I love you" you smiled for the first time that night, resting your arms around his shoulders.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, like a school boy asking his crush for the first time ever.

You nodded, and he didn't waste a single second before claiming your lips in a slow, loving kiss. He might've asked like a young school boy but his kiss was nothing like it.

Parting away, you commented on the fact that his clothes were still very much wet, and now yours too because he was still embracing you.

"Go take a shower, or you'll get sick" you instructed. He hesitated at first, and you noticed it. "I'm not going anywhere"

"Promise?"

"I promise"

He pressed another short kiss to your lips before walking towards the bathroom. And you were on your way, making some soup because you knew that he would surely be sick.

And for the first time in a long time, you knew that everything would be alright. Because he was with you.

Your lover, your everything, your Danny.