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rainynightmoonlight · 1 year ago

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Hello, Hello!!

I hope my request isn't much of a burden-- however, I was wondering if you could do a one-shot with the decay of angels(Fyodor, Nikolai, and Sigma) with a male reader who has white wings?

Quick rundown for the idea;

The reader is the leader of a different organization called the Aviators; the Reader doesn't exactly have an ability but they do have wings-- the reader and their group side with the Armed Detective Agency because reader is heavily in love with bringing people to Justice, like the Decay Of Angels; however, something goes wrong and the reader gets captured while the three DOA members figure out what to do with them.

You can choose if it's more yandere-like or violent, I don't mind, really!! I usually write requests longer but I'm in a rush <\\3

These wings bind me | Bungou Stray Dogs x Male Reader

Characters: Nikolai Gogol, Fyodor, Sigma

Summary: Those wings you had didn't even grant you freedom

Warnings: Yandere behavior, Gore, Obsessive behavior, manipulation, death, kidnapping

Taglist: @nightshade-clown

A/n: This is very Nikolai heavy because I am biased. Also, sorry, the wings aren't mentioned as much

Y/n was a big name in Yokohama, well, a moderately big name. He was a well-known justice bringer with his group called the Aviators. It was a group of people who thought everyone deserved freedom and the choice on where their wings take them. Some of them were like Y/n, with giant wings granting them flight through the sky.

But some had abilities that helped with bringing justice into the world. Y/n heavily believed in bringing justice to everything that tried to inflict on it. The Aviators seemed to be of decent popularity that even the ADA sought them out as an extra branch. The two organizations were seen as partner groups, essentially.

Y/n still did whatever he really wanted under his association, but he would give the ADA extra people when they needed them. The same went with the ADA sending the Aviators people when they required them. It was quite the relationship between the organizations. No one really expected it, since Y/n was more about vigilante work and the ADA worked with the government in a way.

But here is the leader of the Aviators, analyzing a case with some of ADA's best detectives. Dazai, Kunikida, Autsushi and Y/n were all lurking around the crime scene, looking for any form of evidence to link anyone or anything to the scene. Y/n was with Atsushi, as not wanting to deal with Dazai's shenanigans or Kunikida's harsh comments. Atsushi and Y/n were decent acquaintances and worked well with each other.

The two made basic small talk as they searched the crime scene and conversed with passerbys to see if any of them were a reliable witness. Atsushi left Y/n on his own to look for something, though Y/n didn’t know what. He was on his own, just standing out in the open, it seemed pretty safe with the amount of people around. However, there was something off, and Y/n felt it.

Something in him made his white iridescent wings fluff out in anxiety. None of Y/n’s associates were near bye, and that worried Y/n. No one was there to protect him if something bad were to happen, well, something incredibly bad. Y/n could fend for himself, he knew basic martial arts, but against ability users all he could really do was fly to avoid as many hits as he can until back up comes.

Y/n wasn’t completely helpless, but he preferred being with someone who could save him if he were in trouble. Y/n didn’t only feel just one pair of eyes on him, but multiple. They were watching him, marking his move and every twitch he made. But Y/n didn’t know who was watching him.

Just as the paranoia subsided, Y/n was swept away from where he was standing. The kidnapper knocked him out, and everything else was blurry in his head. Atsushi came back only to find where Y/n stood was blank. He wasn’t the only one who was worried, however.

Atsushi went to his two fellow co-workers and told them what had happened, both seemingly hid their panic on the inside. Those other pairs of eyes that kept a close watch on Y/n left, to find their dearly beloved Angel. The crime scene was left barren by both the ADA and the Decay of Angels. Both were on the hunt to get Y/n back.

Sigma, Nikolai, and Fyodor looked everywhere in Yokohama, all the places they knew Y/n might have been taken. But there was no luck, not until a few days later. It was late at night, and the three DOA members followed some of what passing witnesses said they heard or saw a couple of days before. There was a tiny sliver of hope in all three men.

Nikolai was the first to step into the abandoned shed that rested near a busy roadway. It was covered in foliage and trees, keeping the whole building a secret, or so it seemed. Nikolai, however, paid no mind to any of that, only focused on finding his Angel. Fyodor and Sigma only followed Nikolai, keeping the white haired man at a distance.

The two didn’t trust anything about this place. They were prepared for any form of attack from anyone. Nikolai wondered in, carefree, not caring about anything else other than his Angel. The three stopped in their tracks as they heard metal bars swishing around.

Nikolai ran in deeper into the building, stopping to marvel at the sight of a beautiful golden cage. What quickly knocked him out of the trance was the iridescent, feathered wings of his Angel. Nikolai felt angry that someone would do this to his Angel, no one should cage his dearly love up like this. He jumped up against boxes that were stacked to reach the cage.

Y/n was startled by the sudden stop of the cage he was trying to escape from. He looked outside the bar with teary, enraged eyes. He was met with piercing blue gray eyes that streamed raw anger, yet there was love that trickled lightly. Y/n was left so confused as he just stared deep into the eyes that looked back.

Y/n didn’t notice two others walking into the room that held him in the golden cage. The metal shined slightly with the whisps of moonlight beaming through the cracks of the wooden roof. Sigma glanced up to see Nikolai gazing at Y/n, holding the cage still. Something wasn’t right about the whole situation.

Fyodor felt the same as Sigma as the two shared a knowing look of imminent danger. They stood back to back, covering each other's blind spots. Nikolai used his ability to bring himself into the cage. Y/n was taken aback by what this man did, why bring himself into the cage?

Nikolai crouched down to meet Y/n’s face, a sickly smile graced his face. It unsettled the winged boy, he tried to move out of range, but he was stuck to the floor of the cage. He felt the touch of Nikolai, and it increased the anxiety that floating in him. He brought Y/n into a warm embrace, his smile not ceasing from his lips.

Nikolai gave the other two men a knowing look, and they nodded in agreement. The kidnapper seemed to notice the three and came out of the shadows. Their eyes gleamed with insanity, their laughing was incoherent to the three men and Y/n. Y/n’s fear was practically spilling out of his body, and Nikolai noticed.

“Don’t worry, my dear Angel, we’ll set you free!”

Y/n felt disgusted by that nickname, coming from a stranger. There was so much going on, he didn’t know what to make out of anything. Nikolai covered Y/n’s ears and brought him even closer to him. He silently whispered to him.

“No need to be scared, my Angel. Everything will be okay. You’re safe now! Sigma and Dotsoy have it all covered!”

Just behind Y/n, Sigma and Fyodor were fighting the kidnapper. Their anger was shown in their attacks, and it was scaring the kidnapper. The hood fell off, and it showed the face of the persecutor. Y/n glanced behind his back slightly and gasped as he saw the face of his kidnapper.

“How did you find this place?! I was sure I kept everything out of the public eye!”

Sigma’s face stayed flat, but his emotions were clear to both the kidnapper and Fyodor. Nikolai was too busy with Y/n and comforting him to even notice. Fyodor managed to immobilize the assailant, pinning him to the ground. Sigma walked closer, as he bent down.

“It’s easy for us to find what we want. Now you will pay for stealing from us.”

Sigma looked at Fyodor with an approving look. Y/n and Nikolai were watching from the cage, Nikolai waiting for a change to get Y/n out of said cage. He gripped Y/n harder, to a point it hurt, but he didn’t want to let the h/c haired boy go. Blood splattered everywhere, as Fyodor used his ability to get rid of this pest.

Y/n wasn’t shocked about the death and red soaking everything around him, but it amazed him how easily someone would end other's life. He has killed others before, but only because they were hurting and taking other’s freedom. Nikolai scooped Y/n into his slender arms, hopping out of the cage, unknown to Y/n how he did, but Y/n couldn’t get out of his grip. Y/n was then surrounded by Sigma and Fyodor.

Y/n tried to stand, but his legs were still asleep and he collapsed. Sigma caught him, being careful of his white wings. As Sigma stroked Y/n’s h/c hair, loving how it felt against his fingers. Fyodor was busy taking care of the dead body, and Nikolai was gently touching Y/n’s wings.

Y/n looked up at Sigma, with watery eyes glistening the little moonlight that let itself into the cracks. His lips quivered a bit, fear still settling in his heart after a traumatic event. Sigma brought one of his hands to cup Y/n’s cheek, wiping away tears that threatened to fall. Y/n’s voice was sweet and soft to the three men that surrounded him, they all slightly blushed, feeling honored to hear it.

“Why did you come and save me?”

Fyodor came back, gently walking to the side of Y/n. Y/n’s e/c eyes looked at Fyodor, he stopped slightly. Oddly enough, those e/c eyes froze Fyodor right in his place. He sighed, trying to keep Y/n’s eyes on him.

“Why wouldn’t we? We adore you, my dear.”

Y/n was so confused and look to all three men. He didn’t know who any of these people were and why they were here. The silence filled the building, making Y/n even more uneasy. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen to him.

Y/n looked back to Sigma, hoping he could bring himself to ask the most important question. For some reason, Y/n already knew the answer based on the grip Sigma had on him. The more Y/n slightly struggled to get out, the harsher Sigma’s grip became. The hope Y/n had was slowly diminishing.

“Can I go home now?”

The quiver in his voice was noticeable. Nikolai slightly hugged Y/n’s back as a big grin once again found its way to his face. He was noticeably giggling, seemingly finding the question Y/n asked funny. He brought a hand to pat the winged boy’s head.

“Oh, my dear Angel! Of course not! How else are we supposed to keep you safe if you go home? We can’t watch you every day now, can we?”

Y/n’s eyes widened, more questions and confusion were swirling in his head. Before Y/n could speak again, he was knocked out once again, but this time no one would come to save him. Fyodor carried the winged boy out of the building, leaving NIkolai and Sigma to walk behind him.

Y/n woke up in a dark room, nothing but a bed, a desk, and a bathroom as all that filled the room. The bit of light came from a small lamp on the desk. Y/n panicked and ran to the door, trying to open it, but to no avail. His wings fluffed out in panic, feathers falling due to the amount of stress Y/n was under.

Y/n fell to the ground, trying to hold in sobs. He was so busy with trying to not make a lot of noise, he didn’t notice the three people that came into the room. Y/n froze, feeling arms snake around his body. He frantically looked around and recognized the people as the ones who saved him.

Sigma looked down to Y/n, seeing the fear in his eyes. It did something to him, he cupped Y/n’s face and brought his lips to Y/n’s. Y/n’s e/c eyes widened with fear, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to push Sigma away. Fyodor and Nikolai kissed Y/n’s cheeks softly, trying to calm the boy down.

Sigma spoke up, his voice was warm and loving.

"No need to worry anymore my doll, you are safe now. No one will take you from us. Never again."

Y/n choked back sobs. He didn't understand what went wrong. He remembered being with Atsushi, and somehow it came to him being caged once more.

What irony this was, wanting to bring freedom to others and not having any of his own.

Do not repost or translate without my explicit permission! Reblogs are welcome!

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luna-loveboop · 1 year ago

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It's all "links meet aus" and "zeldas meet aus", but where's my "companions meet aus"?

I wanna see midna bash fi and navis heads together for annoying her

I mean can you imagine the sheer chaos of all the Zelda companions meeting and going on a journey together? They're all companions/guides! One of thems a talking hat for hylias sake how are they supposed to take initiative?

I think it'd be like Lu where they all just meet up, but can you imagine the chain just somehow finds out this happened (and twilight is just like guys I am so sorry about midna) (but they're also really oddly touched that all their friends met each other too)

Pretty sure midna would be the sort of leader, since the last time she was in a foreign world she just found the nearest dude and started ordering him around. By like halfway through twilight princess she was literally asking LINK to accompany her to get what she needed.

But like. 90% of the group would be fairies. Which can't heal. One is a talking hat who just needs a head? He can't go on midnas cause she throws him off with her magic hair, poor ezlo is just trying to keep up.

They also have these weird green shadows who come around? They don't talk, but there's a rock, a fish, a bird, and a lady who just appear and stab things and shoot wind water fire and lightning.

Also midnas really confused why wolf link just shows up and kills things every now and then (from botw amibo)

Fi is the one who can talk to Hylia and awaken memories and get guidance and information or whatever, but she only does this by ballerina dancing and the others are always pissed at her anyways "WE DONT KNOW WHAT BATTERIES ARE OR A WII REMOTE WILL YOU PLEASE GO BACK IN SWORD FORM ALREADY" "I detect there is a 90% chance you need a key to open this door" "wow. Your perception is unparalleled fi."

Also there's a boat. A boat. Who is also good at taking charging since he's a king, which causes some friction between him and midna, since she has to grab him by her hair to move him half the time.

And with the fairies. Again. They all offer advice mainly. And with the fairies a lot of their main role is speaking and getting attention and pitching in? They come on an intersection and there's a chorus of bells all shouting the same directions. Ezlo is trying to cover the kings ears from his place on the boats head

Also there's this ghost/spirit of Zelda that everyone just feels REALLY strong loyalty to. But she's just like this kid who wants her body back?! They try to protect her but she can turn into a purple knight and stab things so there's that. I think there's also some animal companions from ooa/oos so.

Side quests are nonexistent they don't care about a village or gathering frogs for a kid they are there to save the world on a mission linear plot it is

And it's interesting because you have so many of them who just vanish and then appear to give loud advice. All at once. And the fighting skills basically fall to those weird green shadows that shoot various elements and fight and randomly disappear. Midna and spirit Zelda can fight, and Fi can too (kind of like how she fights as a sword in hyrule warriors). Also up to you if midna is drop dead gorgeous or devilish imp.

By the end they find whatever enemy so they can go back and midna is so pissed by this point that she hears the word "batteries" from Fi and goes full on fused shadow and just obliterates the jerk

***I have not played all the games so do not know or understand all of the companions and probably got some stuff wrong

Bonus: there is a child in a village named Link who does not have the spirit of the hero. He is stalked for three days until Fi decides his vibes are off and they all stop telling him he's the chosen one

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manicpixiedreamedwins · 8 months ago

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Alright. I've been talking about writing a meta about Charles and jealousy for a while, so here it is. It's a mess. I tried to make it more concise than it was, if you can believe that.

Be forewarned, below the cut we'll be diving into some canon compliant content like Charles' home life. Please, please, please note that now is the time to leave if you are not in a good space to read about those.

Okay. First I want to establish a few things before I get to analyzing the scenes, because I think it is important that we have empathy for Charles here. This might be a bit of a long preamble, but if you could stay with me I'd appreciate it. I promise I am going somewhere with all of this.

I think a lot of us have been told, perhaps by a parent or a friend, that jealousy is unbecoming or bad. Think about it. I know growing up that is a message I heard frequently even though I saw adults exhibit it. This was actually pretty confusing to try and work out. Anyway, now with this almost puritanical obsession with good pure and healthy relationships in media, it's gotten worse. We're told any human flaw we have is something we have to fix or we are not deserving of love. Yes, including jealousy.

Only if that's the case, Charles is fighting uphill here. Here's why:

For reference 41:30 -42:00 in episode 4 is the flashback that The Night Nurse shows Charles of his home. If we unpack this we can learn a lot of things, but there are two that I would like two draw your attention to today:

Charles' dad clearly isn't someone Charles could form a secure attachment to. He seems to only be acknowledging Charles when he's angry, and only acknowledging him in a very violent manner. He's also not really communicating with him, and expecting Charles to know what he's upset about I guess? Truly, this man is terrifying. He knows his family is afraid of him, and he knows they'll scramble to try and fix whatever his issue is.

Charles' mom doesn't intervene. Now, I do not want to hear any vile junk in my notes. She's a battered woman and has probably been in the same position that Charles has, considering Charles himself is worried about her once he is dead. He's worried enough that he checks in on her every week. It makes it all the more heartbreaking that Charles is the one who has taken it upon himself to try and "make it better" (although this is not uncommon among kids who grow up in abusive households, alarmingly).

It definitely drives home that there is a clear hierarchy in the home (everyone tries to please the most volatile person), and you're at the bottom of the pyramid. Even if it's just because you and everyone else in the household is too terrified to do anything about the most abusive person's behavior, you still feel the weight of never being put first. You will never be put first, because how could you be? "You never made it better than you died" (via The Night Nurse) holds a crushing amount of meaning here.

Alright. Now we have established that Charles had some messed up stuff happen at home. Let's take that a step further. Adverse childhood experiences can lead to a variety of attachment styles that are not secure and... you guessed it, jealousy can get thrown in the mix. (This link leads to an abstract of a very interesting research article. If you request the full test directly from the researcher they will provide it for free, but it takes time. The basic idea here is that if kids aren’t able to form secure attachments to their parents, then they will struggle to feel secure in their relationships as they grow up. Sometimes that can manifest as jealousy).

Still with me after all of that? You are god's strongest soldier, lmao. Now let's get into the good stuff.

Charles dies, but there in the attic he meets Edwin. Charles chooses Edwin over the blue light without a second thought. He comforted him when he was dying, and that tenderness is foreign for Charles. The choice is an easy one.

He enjoyed it, and he enjoys Edwin. Edwin, in turn, turns out to be is someone who unequivocally, continuously, puts Charles first. He also does something really important- Charles seeks reassurance, and Edwin gives it ("You ever think, what if Death did catch us? She'd force us to go to the afterlife and split up" Charles asks. "I will make sure that never happens" Edwin answers, all while they're hanging on the side of their office). This is one of the first things we learn about them in the pilot. Charles knows he can count on Edwin. This wasn't something he had from anyone in life.

So things go fine for Charles for a long while. Edwin hasn't given him any reason to feel insecure in all that time it seems. He’s done a great job making Charles feel safe. Charles even feels secure enough that it is his idea to try and integrate Crystal into the agency, although Edwin clearly hates it. Crystal isn’t a threat to his friendship with Edwin, so it would appear Charles still feels reasonably secure in their relationship at this point.

Charles even explains or excuses a lot of Edwin's reactions to try and smooth things over. He tries to mediate between them during their first plan to rescue Becky from Esther's house the best he can. He allows Edwin to have a leg of the case with just the two of them, but he tries to frame it as protecting Crystal.

But then it's Edwin's turn to shake up the foundation that their relationship is built on.

Edwin had a lot of issues to attend to this season, and he tried to deal with most of them alone. Most of the problems Edwin had to handle put definite distance between him and Charles- how couldn't they? He was being hit on, which was a very new experience for him. He probably didn't even know how to talk about that at first, as evidenced by his description of the CK speaking closely to his ear (oh sweet summer child). He also learned about his feelings for the first time, which Monty had to finish spelling out for him.

This all, however, is where we see a shift in the dynamic. It's significant.

Edwin uses magic on a cat and has to go and meet with the Cat King. Whoops. 🙃 Charles slides easily into his role as a protector, but… Edwin stops him.

Honestly, Edwin had a good reason to do this. He pointed out that cat scratches can cause serious harm to ghosts, and they were surrounded. As endearing as this was, this wouldn’t have been an easy fight. They can just talk this out, right? He gets whisked away for a few minutes to do that (and then winds up opening a bigger can of worms).

From Charles’ perspective though, Edwin doesn’t allow him to help him, and then vanishes for a long period of time. Then he absolutely won’t tell him anything about it when he does come back. Charles knew Edwin was a little mad at him in the pilot, but they were still communicating for the most part. The secrecy is a shift, and it’s not one he’s coping well with. He tries a few different ways to reconnect.

First he tries gentle. He just asks what happened from a place of concern. This might have worked actually, only I’m not even sure Edwin knows how to fully describe what happened during their encounter. He rushes through a description, and Charles still feels like something is missing. He doesn’t like that someone else has a secret with Edwin— for thirty years they’ve been connected. This feels frightening to him, and Edwin doesn’t seem particularly worried that they’re not on the same page.

He tries to pick the conversation back up later when they’re searching for the dandelion shrine, but Edwin doesn’t give any additional information. So he slides back into his role of being a protector again and defends him against the ambient skeletons, because at least he can protect him from that easily. For a moment, things almost seem normal again, but this resurfaces in a later case.

Edwin meets with CK again in episode 4. Charles is still raw after the events of the Devlin House, and now he’s just pissed. He’s hurting, and Edwin is still keeping this weird secret. They end up bickering back and forth. The bickering tells us something interesting about Charles’ concerns.

Charles: What did he want? He didn't whisk you away again? Got that bracelet off?

Edwin: I'd be back at the office right now if the bracelet was off. He wanted to know if I counted the cats, and my guess was unsatisfactory.

Charles: Thinks he can come and go... He can't show up in the middle of cases. Did you tell him that?

Edwin: Matter of fact, I did.

Charles: Can't believe you didn't tell us. I've had enough of secrets about that wankеr.

Edwin: Why are you getting so angry?

What stands out to me here is Charles is upset about a few things: he hates that Edwin is getting taken away from him by a being they can’t control (a logical fear, considering they’re running from death together). He hates that this is happening in the middle of case time that is supposed to be for him and Edwin (and their friends, who Charles trusts). He is still really upset that Edwin has a secret with someone else (I really don’t think he’d be bothered if the secret was with him).

That’s why he’s upset. Charles isn’t feeling secure. He doesn’t feel like their relationship is on good footing right now. Whether or not he knows how to phrase that or ask for support is a different question.

Onto Monty (sorry these are a bit out of order— I put them by character for this part).

Charles wasn’t aware of Monty. This probably already bothered him a little, considering the mystery surrounding the cat king, but he tried to be a good sport. Monty wasn’t outwardly threatening. He came with gifts. He seemed friendly. Charles tried to match that… only to get snubbed. Ouch.

Charles likes to claim he’s aces with other people, but he ultimately died because his friends turned on him and killed him the second he stood up for what was important to him. I think peer relationships are a particularly sticky situation for him. I think he knew how to fit in the same way he knew how not to rock the boat in a volatile home. With Edwin it was different though— Edwin just liked him. Edwin was special.

But of course yet another boy their age doesn’t like him (probably a little upsetting, considering how he died). The only thing that’s confusing to him here is he didn’t really do anything wrong— he was polite. He followed along with all the little niceties people do, even when they don’t want to. Maybe this wouldn’t have bothered him so much in another situation, but now Edwin is wrapped up with him instead of Charles. He's picked him instead (in Charles' mind).

He can’t even shake this when Monty isn’t there.

Charles tries to get Edwin's attention... and fails. so he begins to have a conversation with himself. Perhaps he was trying to make Edwin laugh. Perhaps he was trying something over the top. Still, he fails. Ultimately, he goes the broken record route and asks him the same question a couple of times.

This moment probably really hurt- there's actually no reason for Edwin to be ignoring him, in Charles' mind anyway. They're alone together. Usually they'd be talking or bantering or at least Charles would be able to get Edwin's attention. It's just that he can't, because now Edwin is stuck on that fucking book from that fucking bloke who blew him off earlier.

This was probably a little activating for Charles. Even if he didn't completely put together why it upset him, Edwin putting someone who just treated him poorly right in front of his face first is a dim reflection of what he went through in his home. Now, I am not saying Monty is anywhere near that level of bad- he's a literal cream puff. He could not kill them when his life depended on it.

What I am saying, though, that Charles perceives a subtle threat here. He's also not sure what to do with it, because he never overcame that hurtle in life. No one else ever put him first, and he never figured out how to fix that. Edwin kind of just centered Charles automatically when they met. Now he's not doing that anymore and it’s jarring and uncomfortable for him. He’s feeling this loss of stability, on top of the fact that Edwin still won’t tell him what’s going on with the CK.

"...try not to forget that we're trying to leave" is what Charles comes up with after that exchange. Edwin makes an attempt to console him finally and offers to talk, but Charles shuts it down and tells him it's that he wants to leave town. They start on a case after that.

(Note that I did this a little out of order for organization’s sake— some of their CK arguing happened during the case they went on next).

Charles does finally catch a break here. In spite of all of this, he’s missing something very important: Edwin has feelings for him. That’s probably the most pressing issue that’s gone unspoken between them.

So Edwin dresses nicely, catches Charles attention, and finally tries to initiate a conversation. Charles seems relieved.

He does assume Edwin is just trying to come out by telling him about his time with Monty, before the teethface incident. Charles isn’t bothered, since Monty isn’t really in the picture anymore as far as he’s concerned. Things are fine, it’s just the two of them again and Edwin likes boys. Wait…

... Fuck. Forgot about the Cat King.

He resorts to threatening the CK. I know lots of people have lots of different theories on this, but consider this perspective also: Monty is no longer a threat. He’s abstract. He’s a memory. The Cat King is still very real and is a thing that can come between them, has done so, and has successfully taken Edwin from him. And as accepting as Charles was trying to be in that moment, he just can't handle that (from the perspective of this meta).

Anyway, this is all interrupted by their foray into hell. Charles does rescue Edwin, Edwin confesses, and honestly I feel like that just needs to be a different thing entirely but I did type a little bit about how I think Charles interpreted all of that here.

They return. Charles is processing Edwin's confession on the roof. This whole scene mystifies me a little because yes, he didn't seem to know exactly what to say to Edwin's confession in hell (I think he did not want to ruin it by saying the wrong thing). The more rewatches I go through the more... satisfied he looks to me? He might be processing, but also he might be a little giddy that Edwin has feelings for him specifically. I'm still trying to figure out how to read this one because the lines seemed rushed but the microexpressions say so much.

Then he starts blatantly flirting with Edwin. Honestly Charles, what the fuck?(afffectionate) Truly I’m still trying to work out if he’s just testing out how Edwin reacts or if he is working through his own feelings here, but I really want more of this in S2.

That’s about all the thoughts I think I can organize on this for now without it getting obscenely long (it already is pretty long for a half baked idea that turned into a meta). Thank you for reading 🖤

#Charles Rowland #meta #dead boy detectives #cw domestic violence #canon event Charles' home life #payneland #meta is slanted that way #I can no longer think of how to revise this so here it is #Jealous Charles Rowland #My posts #Fixed some small typos because some of this was done at 3 am whoops

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snowglobe-system · 5 months ago

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Hi! Feel no pressure to answer, but I have a few questions (regarding DID)

So I'm aware of what an endo system is, but I'm a bit confused on why it would be considered valid since the condition is directly caused by trauma, which is the thing that endos lack. Could you please explain your perspective on it? And maybe your perspective before you became pro-endo?

Hey! I've been sitting on this ask for a few days now. I do want to start out by thanking you for reaching out to me and asking about my perspective. Please note that you are not obligated to agree with me, or to change your mind just from my answer to your questions. I like having you as a mutual, and I will continue to do so regardless of your syscourse stance.

I'm going to grab a term that some of my mutuals in the DID community have used, and say I'm really more pro syscourse conversation than I am pro endo- pro endo is just the easiest way to communicate my basic stances.

I think the most important thing to understand here is that a lot of the time, the "are endos real" debate suffers from both sides fundamentally misunderstanding what the other's stance actually is. While there is a small subsection of the endo community claiming that DID isn't trauma based- which I vehemently disagree with, DID is absolutely trauma based, and that's backed by all of the research- that's not the majority.

Most endogenic systems are not claiming to have DID. They are claiming to experience themselves as more than one. I am by no means an expert on this, but I know that it is a very western-centric view to assume that everyone subscribes to being one singular self. If you want to learn more about non-western views on the self and on plurality, I would recommend looking at @system-of-a-feather's blog. They make great posts on the subject!

And- here's a real kicker- not everyone with a CDD- CDD standing for complex dissociative disorders and including the likes of DID, OSDD, P-DID, UDD, etc- actually identifies as plural. Not everyone with even DID identifies as plural. So if someone with a CDD can identify as one, what's stopping someone who doesn't have a CDD from identifying as more than one? This post puts it pretty well, so I'm just going to link it here! And if you're looking for scientific backing on endo systems? Dr Colin Ross, one of the very well known DID researchers, believes in non-traumagenic self states.

Basically, I'm choosing to believe people when they talk about their subjective personal experiences.

Now you did also ask about my anti-endo days and I will also gladly talk about those. I will admit, I was the worst kind of anti-endo. I was the type of person who would throw even other CDD systems under the bus as fakers because I wanted to seem more legitimate. Everyone who didn't present the "right" way was a faker. And endos, my goodness. They were the worst fakers of them all.

It was an extremely reactive position to take. I was suffering from my plurality, therefore everyone who wasn't had to be faking. They were making a mockery out of me! At least, that's how I perceived it.

And then I started interacting with endos, and pro endos. I realized that they were also real people, not just an abstract concept to make fun of to make myself look more legitimate. And I started reading blogs that had the rawest, realest content about CDDs that I'd come across thus far... and they were pro endo. And the arguments as to why were really good.

Somewhere along the way, I realized that the things that were leading me to being anti endo were the same things that made me into a transmed when in the 2010s. I believed that people had to meet a minimum quota of suffering to be real. In a way, I was defining people by it. And ultimately, if they are lying? It costs me nothing to believe them. I'd rather believe some liars than not believe people who are telling the truth. I've had enough experience with people not believing me. It sucks. I didn't want to keep doing that to others.

That's about the end of this yap session! Seriously, thanks again for asking, I really enjoyed writing this post. I hope I answered in a way that makes sense to you!

#plurality #pro endo #syscourse #by Artemis

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lotusmi · 2 years ago

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success story!

i fully understood i am the creator of my reality and understood who i am and gone within! i saw your Edward posts and it was amazing and i totally understood i am the creator of my reality!! basically i didn't use void or loa like nothing. i just gone within and identified myself as what i wanted to be and how i am and fully consumed it that's it and used imagination to prove my senses that it was real and also i understood that 3d and 4d are the same so it was much easier! and now i have everything i want and within 3 weeks i got these many stuff

such as private jet, modelling and being at school , getting "A" without even studying (gosh it is so much easier), having my ideal friend group , didn't change any of my appearance but manifested not to be insecure about my appearance and myself , have a beautiful and healthy mindset, revised my parents , no traumas nothing , going to different trips , getting 10,000$ every single week , yacht, etc..

i will repeat it again i didn't use any loa, void and other stuff all i did was gone within and changed myself and changed how i perceive other it just took me 2 weeks to do it and the journey was beautiful! because when you change yourself your thought change and everything changes. i have always focused on changing my thoughts and i was wrong and all you have to do it changed yourself change your "I Am" it is so simple and super easy!

SUCCESS STORYY!!!! 💗💗

OMGGG thisss!!! I am SO happy and pround of you??? Like you did it!!! That's amazing my love, one of the best success stories I had read! The power is always within us, we don't need nothing but our "I AMness"!! I am so happy my summaries helped you, I love Edward work sm!

Woooow a private jett!!! and I am so happy you feel pretty being who you are now!! Also 10k every weeekkk thats so coool!!!!

Actually this is the loa! The Neville, Edward loa, changing states, changing self! Just assume you are and that's it! Thank you so much for this lovely text, I know this will inspire a lot of people! And yes, it is a beautiful journey 💓

Listen to the anon everyone, all you gotta do is change who you indentify yourself with. No affirming 100k times or so. Just be. Just assume your desire as yours!

Congrats angel, and again, ty for sharing! 💗👈

link to my edward summaries :)

#neville goddard #law of assumption #loa tumblr #loa advice #loa blog #manifesting #success story #living in the end #loatumblr #Lotuses success #states

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poetry-protest-pornography · 2 months ago

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kpop sampler

my dear @auriette was asking about my non-skz kpop feelings, and i have so many of them, so i thought it would be fun to make a little playlist.

i'm sticking with the 10 link limit (which is v hard) but if you also have a lot of kpop feelings, please rb with a song/group rec of your own!

in no particular order:

The Rose (k-rock)

youtube

i love them. They are super funny on social media, and their music is incredible. Screaming this song at the top of my lungs fixes me a little every time. Woosung is also a soloist and he's amazing.

WOODZ

youtube

This song gives me the shivers.

He also has a cover of Hype Boy that is A+

The duality of man.

I think WOODZ is vastly underappreciated, and i wish more people were as into him as i am.

Ateez

youtube

i know i already talked about them a little bit, but i have to do it again because i love them. just a bunch of insanely talented, stupidly hot weirdos. i love that they're all nerds who make legos together and that everyone but hongjoong and jongho have zero concept of personal space. wooyoung and san are medalists in the kiss your homie olympics. (woo is also bffs with changbin and also yeonjun from txt)

i'm still obsessed with this song and this MV. the ateez lore is very intricate and this is basically cinema.

TXT

youtube

insane dance skills, super talented, great music. it was hard to pick which song of theirs to include here, but this is defintely a favorite. def check out devil by the window" also.

they collabed with the jonas brothers and anitta and both songs were incredible. yeonjun just released a solo album. more talented goofballs. i love them.

OnlyOneOf

youtube

i am obsessed with OOO. they are incredible. they do most of their own choreo, they committed to making their MVs queer af and include messages of acceptance and support for the lgbtq community in the notes for all their videos. they paired themselves up and talk about kissing each other casually.

and they back it all up with high concept MVs, insane choreo, and great music that will absolutley get stuck in your head. picking a song was hard, but this choreo is too iconic

Hwasa

youtube

i am obsessed with her. she is also in mamamoo, who are great, but i am currently absolutely obsessed with her cover of lunch. but this song which is a pretty direct call out of the rampant body shaming in the industry is so much fun.

KARD

youtube

kard is the only mixed gender kpop group i know of, and we need more.

they are all adults, and their music and MVs are, too. killer dancey tracks. their friendship is a lot of fun.

BM is also a soloist, and has some very explicit horny songs that don't bother with the (barely) innuendo that kard plays with. he's also hilarious on SM, and on the daebak show

Enhypen

youtube

they're just good. i love a concept album, and they killed it with this.

Evnne

youtube

i love them.

they were all on boys planet, and i love all the groups that formed from that show (i was going to cheat and make a whole playlist of bp groups, but i'm just going to share this one and i'll make a whole separate bp post)

this video and song are just so fun, and they're so good, and i wanted to yell about them.

(all the boys planet boys are also stray kids levels of obsessed with each other, which i appreciate --zb1 is probably the worst-best about this, but they're all super close)

oh gosh only space for one more... ahhhh who to choooose

Blitzers

youtube

this is just so much fun

no one really sounds like blitzers. the horns and big band elements are wholly unique and fit surprisingly well. they are super talented and clearly having a good time with what they do, and it's just a good time.

I hope you like at least some of these songs/groups!

(Now, to play by my own rules and not add another ten in a reblog unless specifically asked to do more!)

Please add your favorite kpop/krock groups to share the joy of good music that we can all be super normal about together!

#kpop #krock #music recs #kpop sampler #Youtube

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helenofsparta2 · 4 months ago

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kind of related to your post about zoe just now but: what do you think of the hunters in general? I've got a lot of thoughts on them myself.. most of them not that positive lmao lots of "could have been good, but very poor execution" and "sounds cool on the surface, but very questionable when thought about more"

First of all, thank you for the question :)))

Oh god, this might become a slightly longer post, because I have a lot to say about the hunters of Artemis.

From what you’ve written, it sounds like we might have a very similar opinion. I personally think they are one of the worst-written parts of the original Percy Jackson books. I love their idea, I love their basic concept, but their execution was pretty atrocious.

There are four main points regarding them that I want to talk about.

The portrayal of Artemis (though this one is by far not as bad as the others)

2. The behaviour of the huntresses

3. Bianca

4. Lacking Development

Artemis

Now, I know that the gods and goddesses of the Riordan verse, are sanitized caricatures, and shouldn’t be compared to their actual myth versions. I think everyone in this fandom has at least heard some well-founded criticisms regarding the portrayal of Ares, Athena, Aphrodite, Apollo or any of the other gods.

I even understand why Rick Riordan made most of the decisions that he did. Obviously, the gods had to be sanitized for a book series primarily aimed at children, and, to be fair to him, even if their characterizations are a far-cry from their myths and sometimes overly stereotypical (Aphrodite), they are fulfilling the roles they have in this story as deeply flawed, but powerful individuals, because of whose careless mistakes and pride demigods, and other ‘lesser’ beings have to suffer.

And I actually do not hate Artemis’ portrayal that much, if we exclude the behavior of her hunt, and the initiation of Bianca. Her taking Annabeth’s place in holding the sky and her loudly arguing against killing Percy and Thalia at the winter solstice was a great portrayal of her being a patron goddess of children, and the idea of including the hunters of Artemis as a group of girls, both from mortal and immortal parents, who have been hurt by the world, and found a safe place with one another is actually really great. Generally, whenever she appears in the books, I have the feeling she is handled with far more graze and respect than a lot of other godly beings.

However, as someone who very much loves Greek mythology, I just want to point out some small parts, which are not entirely accurate, though, again, I understand Rick’s reason for omitting them in the context of what he wanted to do with her character and the hunt , and I acknowledge that even in ancient times, there existed a variety of different interpretations of the gods.

(Please note, that while I read original sources like the works of Diodor, Apollodorus, Hesiod, and Euripides, I am not a classicist, and that my knowledge of the greek gods primarily stems from personal research and my own interest. If anyone knows more about Artemis, please feel free to correct me if necessary)

While Artemis is primarily the goddess of the hunt, and in later interpretations of the moon, she is not only the protector of girls, but the patron goddess of children in general and a goddess closely linked to childbirth.

Yes, she expects her followers to remain chaste, but to say that she is completely against men would be a grave mistake. Male followers of Artemis did exist in mythology, most famously Orion, who later became a constellation, and Hippolytus, the son of Theseus and the Amazon Hippolyta.

So, her cold behavior towards Nico and her degrading words towards boys in general is an attribute primarily added by Rick Riordan.

Though, like I said, I understand making certain changes to gods and goddesses, or rather choosing different interpretations of them to have them fulfill a certain role in a book series, so Artemis portrayal itself doesn’t bother me that much.

But if we’re talking about the hunters themselves, things easily take a turn for the worse.

The behavior of the hunters

Now, I understand the hunters point in the story.

A huge theme of Titan’s curse is to explore the difference between old ideals of what heroism entails and the modern take on it, represented through Theseus and Herakles on one side, and Percy on the other. The hunters, and especially Zöe, represent a group, who have suffered through the actions of those old, primarily male heroes, and have developed a strong bias against all boys and men as a result. A bias, Percy is supposed to break in this book.

This, in itself, is a pretty awesome concept. But, like I said, the execution mostly failed.

Most of the Hunters of Artemis in Titan’s curse were written without any nuance, without development and without any sense of self reflection.

To express it plainly, they completely suck. And that hurts to say, especially as someone who is asexual-sex-repulsed and aromantic, because, like I said, they could have been an absolutely amazing part of the overarching story and theme of the book series, but with the way Rick Riordan wrote them, they suck. They’re insufferable. They’re a group of immortal teenagers with a superiority complex, who act the way right-wing republicans and trump supporters think feminists act like.

They’re completely antagonistic towards the campers at camp half-blood for absolutely no good reason, act really childish and immature, and their overwhelming bias against every male character, especially Percy and Nico, is just plain annoying and goes to a point, where it makes them act like absolute idiots and assholes.

Zöe’s behavior at the meeting to decide who should go on the quest to save Artemis is a pretty good representation of everything I dislike about the hunters.

She doesn’t want to take campers with her on the quest, even though the oracle plainly stated that them working together was the only way for them to succeed:

“You’re missing something as usual,” Thalia said. “Campers and Hunters combined prevail. We’re supposed to do this together.”

“No!”, Zoe said. “The Hunters do not need thy help.”

Immediately afterwards, she makes fun of Silena Beauregard (who is around 14 or 15 at the time, might I add.):

“Percy is right,” Silena Beauregard said. “Two campers should go.”

“Oh, I see,” Zoe said sarcastically. “And I suppose you wish to volunteer?”

Silena blushed. “I’m not going anywhere with the hunters. Don’t look at me!”

“A daughter of Aphrodite does not wish to be looked at,” Zoe scoffed. “What would thy mother say?”

And then, she decisively refuses Percy’s help for the quest, even though he is objectively the best person for the job. I really can’t reiterate enough that Percy is the most accomplished hero present at that meeting. He has successfully led two quests, one to stop a civil war between the gods, the second to recover the golden fleece. Even in comparison to Thalia, Percy is more accomplished and has gained more respect within the mythological world.

As I walked back through the city of the gods, conversations stopped. The muses paused their concert. People and satyrs and naiads all turned towards me, their faces filled with respect and gratitude, and as I passed, they knelt, as if I were some kind of hero. (The lightning thief)

Yet Zoe refuses his help to save the goddess she serves and increases so the risk of failure, simply because he is a boy.

“Oh,” Grover said, suddenly aware of the problem. “Whoa, yeah. I forgot! Percy has to go. I didn’t mean… I’ll stay. Percy should go in my place.”

“He cannot,” Zoe said. “He’s a boy. I won’t have Hunters travelling with a boy.”

Another huge problem in their characterization is their immortality. Here I want to focus again on their ongoing beef with camp half-blood, because, yes, while the campers also act pretty antagonistic in return, I think it’s important to note that most kids at camp half blood are between the ages of 10 and I’d say maybe 17 years old, while the huntresses are immortal.

Now, it’s obviously possible that most of them are still teenagers and haven’t been part of the hunt for that long, but considering the fact that Zoe is over 3000 years old, and could very well be older than most Olympians, the chance of most hunters being older than at least 30, is pretty high, which makes their behavior seem even more ridiculous.

And obviously the whole situation with Bianca paints the hunters in the worst light possible.

Bianca

There are already some pretty good and detailed posts on tumblr regarding the subject of Bianca and the hunters, so I don’t want to dig into this subject too deeply, because this post is already way too long, but you can’t possibly write about the hunters without mentioning her.

The hunters, especially Zoe and Artemis convinced Bianca to join them in a moment of huge distress. Bianca was a twelve-year-old, vulnerable girl, who just found out she was a demigod, almost got kidnapped by the manticore, and watched a girl fall down a cliff, yet they expect her to swear allegiance to them after only a couple of minutes of knowing them.

They paint her this beautiful picture of having no responsibility and a new family, telling her exactly, what she wanted to hear without giving her even a moment to breathe or give her time to talk to her brother or fully think this through.

I want to point out that at this point in time, Artemis had already decided that she needed to go after the monster alone, and knew, that her hunters would spend some time at camp half-blood. But instead of giving Bianca these couple days/ weeks to accept this new reality of the mythological world and get to know both camp half-blood and the hunters, she wants an answer at this very moment,

Yes, Bianca’s answer was rash, and yes, I do think it’s rather cold that she didn’t first talk to Nico about it, but it’s pretty plain to see that she was overwhelmed and pretty much manipulated during this entire conversation.

Later, Zoe decides to take her with her on the quest, even though Bianca is completely unprepared for it. She is probably, aside from Nico, the most unprepared person in the entirety of camp half-blood to go on a quest.

I don’t think I have to explain how terrible of a decision that was.

The hunters are objectively the worst thing that could have ever happened to Bianca and the main reason why she died.

Lacking Development:

Now, all of this, every single flaw I just pointed out, could have actually worked out, if there would have been some sort of change in the hunters’ way of thinking and an acknowledgement that their opinions on boys and males in general are misguided and lead to more harm than good during the course of the books.

Especially after their actions led to Bianca’s death.

Them seeing how much love Nico had for his sister and how much he suffered from her death could have been a great moment for some character development.

But nothing happened.

Camp half blood and the hunters grieving together at the end of Titan’s curse for both Zoe and Bianca could have resulted in a genuine moment of friendship between the two groups, leading to understanding and change.

But nothing happened.

The only person who took responsibility for Bianca’s death at the end of Titan’s curse was fourteen-year-old Percy. The only person who cared enough about Nico to search for him and make sure he was safe, was Percy. The hunters didn’t care at all. Took no responsibility whatsoever.

All that happened at the end of that book was that Thalia became a huntress, and that Zoe and Artemis acknowledged Percy as a hero.

This, while admittedly, a great moment for Percy’s characterization and also somewhat for the character development of Zoe, had very little effect otherwise.

Because, in the end, Zoe and Artemis treated Percy as if he was the exception. As if they had been only wrong about him, and not boys in general. They didn’t revisit their line of thinking, they didn’t self-reflect and they didn’t acknowledge that their bias was utterly flawed, and that they should treat male demigods generally better.

She (Zöe) grasped it contently. “You spoke the truth, Percy Jackson. You are nothing like… like Hercules. I am honored that you carry this sword.”

Then, she (Artemis) turned to me. “You did well,” she said. “For a man.”

Percy Jackson is fundamentally a story about the circle of abuse, and, Percy specifically, breaking that circle, but nothing of note happened with the hunters.

Because even if Zoe had confronted her own bias, (and there is admittedly an argument to be made that she did) she would have been the only hunter to do so. And she died.

Thalia becoming the lieutenant of the hunters as someone who is best friends with Percy and Grover, and who misses Jason more than anything, could have confronted this distorted line of thinking, but the other hunters remain pretty much unchanged in the last Olympian and The Lost Hero.

There were hugs and greetings al around- or at least Thalia was friendly. The other hunters didn’t like being around campers, especially boys, but they didn’t shoot any of us, which for them was a pretty warm welcome. (The last Olympian, chapter 10)

“Oh, no way,” Leo said. “We’ve been sitting in a cave and you get a luxury tent? Somebody give me hypothermia. I want hot chocolate and a parka!”

Phoebe sniffed. “Boys,” she said, like it was the worst insult she could think of. (XXXVI Leo, the lost hero.)

Conclusion:

So, yeah. They had huge potential, both as individual characters and as part of the overarching plot and theme of Percy Jackson, but their execution was absolutely abysmal.

The only possible positive thing I could say about them is that they are at least better than the Amazons (though that is not particularly hard)

I hope my rambling was understandable, it's already pretty late:')

#percy jackson #pjo hoo #rick riordan #pjo #hunters of artemis #titan's curse

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not-poignant · 29 days ago

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Hi Pia

Sorry is this ask is bothersome but I need some advice.

I while ago I was going through a really bad time mentally but found solace in a fandom. I became friends with a person that I met in a particular fandom and they encouraged me to get into fanfiction and it really helped my mental health as a form of escapism.

After about a year I took the plunge into writing my own fanfics for the fandom and at first they were well received. But then a gender swapped the characters.

For context- in this fandom most of the characters are male and almost all the fanfics available are canon compliant in this regard and I so I wanted to explore an au where all the characters were women instead. I posted a few chapters and was excited for feedback but then my friend from the fandom saw my new fic and messaged me telling me to take it down because it was problematic.

I asked them to explain why and they said that changing canon like that just for the "fun" of it wasn't ok and that if I'm going to "mess around with the characters identities" then I should make them trans instead.

I told her I wasn't comfortable making the characters trans because I myself am not trans and don't feel like I am educated enough to write about gender identities/experiences that I haven't gone through and I don't want to accidentally write something disrespectful.

My friend got back to me and said that take was even more problematic. I asked her to explain further because I was really confused by this point but she didn't get back to me.

A few days later I found out she had told all the people in the discord we were in together that I was being problematic regarding canon and I'm guessing she also went to my bookmarks and sent screenshots to everyone of the "problematic" ships and fics I like??

And now I'm getting hateful messages from people who used to be my friends in the fandom and I don't know what to do.

Should I make the characters male again like they are in canon? Or take the fic down altogether?

Hi anon,

So the short answer is:

You can write genderbending. Every fic is problematic somehow to different people and audiences. Trans people don't all agree on genderbending so you're not going to get a single "correct" answer. Don't take down the fic unless you want to. Don't change the fic unless you want to. Get some better friends. It's worth educating yourself further about this subject.

The longer answer is behind the Read More:

Genderbending is complicated and nuanced and there's a ton of discussion about it. I highly recommend you go somewhere like FanLore to check that out. Especially the further reading section, to see multiple sides of the discussion to then decide how you feel.

There are trans people who love cis genderbends. There are trans people who hate them. There are trans people who don't think they should exist. There are trans people who don't give a shit. There are trans people who want more to exist. There are trans people who think only trans people should be allowed to write any kind of genderbend. There are trans people who think no trans person should ever want to write cis genderbend.

My perspective (as a trans person) is closest to this archived Tumblr post linked here.

With this quote from mercurialmalcontent:

Changing a character to the ‘opposite’ cis gender is a very different thing than making them trans or nonbinary. Insisting that people only change characters to trans is also really damn invalidating, because it implies that being trans is interchangable with being cis. Whoopsie doodle!

And then the entire response from roachpatrol, especially:

so like. people now reducing the issue to ‘cis people are gross and hate trans people’ is pretty ridiculous. it ignores basically twenty years of women questioning, confronting and then dismantling the de-facto heteronormative, exploitative male gaze in order to create the radically progressive fandom atmosphere as we know it today on tumblr.

And then also this from curriebelle:

there’s nothing inherently transphobic about art that explores gender - quite the opposite, I think - and that’s what genderbends are about. It can be hugelybeneficial to imagine male characters as female in order to explore roles that aren’t traditionally given to women

I think the main thing is that in fandom, many trans people have been forced to confront how they feel about genderbends (or cis swaps), whereas many cis people never have to think about it due to cis privilege. That doesn't mean writing it is bad by default, it doesn't mean fics that feature it shouldn't exist, and it doesn't mean problematic fanfiction is bad either. Like I said, everything is problematic to someone.

What actually bothers me the most is that people who you think of as "friends" are trying to police you in this way. Obviously I don't know the full story or the content of the fic, so maybe there's greater context going on that I'm missing. But on the surface, genderbends aren't inherently transphobic, even if some trans people don't like them, or feel dysphoria over them existing.

Ultimately genderbends aren't also often about the trans experience. It's really weird for your friends to assume that writing a story about a bunch of cis women, and a bunch of trans women is going to be exactly the same, or that one is inherently "better" than the other. Trans women experience some different issues (depending on the world), and the stories are likely to have different elements to them. And you're right, not feeling comfortable telling a trans story when you're a cis person wanting to write about cis women does actually make a lot of sense. That doesn't mean you can't do it, but it does make it clear why you didn't do it.

Anon, a friend who is quick to tell a whole bunch of people on a Discord server that you're writing a fic with content they don't like is not a friend, let alone a good friend. They might have once been very caring, but their response here indicates they're putting up a chance to seem righteous and 'moral' above actually caring about you or what you have to say. Especially in a situation where honestly a lot of trans people don't agree with each other, but we all mostly agree not to be dicks to people who write this stuff and to just live and let live.

(Also, trans people can write trans fic that other trans folk feel is transphobic! Something that heals and helps one person, hurts another, that's why the rule in fiction for things like this is very much: "don't like, don't read" and also: learn about it, do some research into it, but you don't have to morally justify what you like in fiction and fiction is the place to write this stuff - it is literally pure fantasy. Heck, some trans people love cis swaps precisely because it's a cis swap instead of a specifically trans narrative, the same reason some trans people hate them. We're not all a monolith with one opinion. Thank god).

Going into your bookmarks to reveal the 'problematic' things you like to a bunch of randos screams of anti-nonsense, people who judge other people's morals based off the fiction they enjoy. Folks like this think it's okay to humiliate, degrade and abuse people over what they enjoy in fiction.

Honestly, if it were me, I'd block these people. Trans people aren't magically free from being abusive shitheads, just like everyone else.

Your friend may have been a friend once, but what they're doing now is just shitty. Ironically, it's also pretty transphobic to the trans people who love and write cis swap and also the trans people who love and read it.

#asks and answers #can't speak for any other trans people here but like #for myself i just think your friend sucks #truly if this is the first place they go based on fiction you're writing #they haven't been caring about you for a while #their behaviour is far more 'high school drama' than it is 'genuine friend'#if they were a real friend who was really concerned for you #they would not be trying to make this into entertaining drama for everyone else around them #where they get to feel mock righteous outrage #over being assholes to a real person for something fictional they're writing

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 6 months ago

Text

s3 episode 23 thoughts

the previous episode was SO good. but, it is true, i was distracted by the dog. it was SUCH!! a perfect episode. EXCEPT for that one thing. so i hope that today, i can face this episode with a clear head, free of judgement based on the fate of little dogs.

well, boy, i did face this episode with a clear mind, and wow. wowza. another AMAZING ep... and i will keep the angst from this episode in my heart forever and bottle it and take a nice long swig when i need my msr feels, which is basically always. wow. an exclamation point doesn't even feel APPROPRIATE, it just needs to hang in the air for a bit. (wiping tears away) wow....

let us go back to yesterday's notes, which shall commence below:

reading the episode description... so this one features murders linked to a device that alters television signals… huh. man, too many people i know don’t even have cable anymore. this simply would not work in the modern era. imagine if hulu or tubi or something made you kill people though lmao that would be silly to imagine.

we open with a guy digging a hole in the woods. always a promising start. seems he’s in an orchard of some sort? and the music is very very creepy.

okay, so just as you suspect, this dude is burying a dead guy. sometimes your gut instinct is correct and tropes are not meant to be subverted. but the dude who is burying him says “your killing days are OVER” so is this actually a justice arc??? hmm. it is not clear. man, it would be hard to dig a hole like that.

shovel murder man is at home washing the blood off. but then someone else approaches him and he kills THAT GUY TOO WITH THE SHOVEL?? huh? what is going on.

police at da guy’s house. everyone has the same face as the dude he just killed??? so they tase him. and then the faces go back to their REAL faces. now what is going on here!!!!!!!!!!

as the real faces return, the man realizes he killed someone named sarah!!! and he seems sooo upset by the fact that he killed sarah!!!! poor sarah :(

so does the tv make you see other people’s faces on the bodies of random people….? omg that’s insidious...

we now shift to a different scene, one where mulder is sitting in his car at 2 am. doing what???? waiting for some guy!!! he was waiting TWO HOURS for this guy!!! who is this guy...? it's giving blind date/drug deal.

the man who enters his car gives him a newspaper clipping about the murders we just saw. and mulder came here after getting AN ANONYMOUS EMAIL in the middle of the night??? this is crazy because literally so many people want him dead and this would have been a very easy way to accomplish that goal. wow. seriously, no self-preservation instincts on this guy.

mystery man says he has no obligation to explain what is going on, but if mulder walks away from it, more people will die. so no pressure!! xx

cutscene to a hospital, where mulder is watching our murderer through glass, while scully comes in saying that she is sorry she is late, but “the beltway was a parking lot”. beltway refers to interstate 495! thank you wikipedia i love your services!

murderer is named joseph. and he claims to have been killing the same guy over and over again, and that he wouldn’t die. which seems pretty awful.

OH! and the week before, in the same town, a babysitter attacked the kids she was watching because she thought they were WOLVES??? omg that is horrific??

they’re talking to the physician, dr. stroman, who says perhaps this was provoked by amphetamine abuse. then joseph starts SCREAMING. he sees a guy on the TV- miriskovic- sorry y’all idk my post-soviet history 💔 (update: i googled it, i don't even think that guy was real because all the results are links to wikis on this specific episode... reveals how little i truly know)

anyway, seeing that guy's face on the TV seems to have triggered the screaming situation. does he have trauma from the country he used to live in and seeing references to it makes these things happen…? that would be a wild episode. put me in the writer's room and let me cook.

scully quickly picks up on the fact that this case is Weird, and mulder admits it came from some random guy, which makes her suspicious. but they go to the crime scene, and, like always, he lifts the crime scene tape up over her head, and it’s very charming despite the lack of sensibility in going down this whole rabbit hole.

the minute they get in, they hear screaming and a gunshot! but it’s just some kids watching TV??? eating popcorn in a crime scene??? LMAO WHAT?

mulder kicks them out and scruffs one of the boy’s heads... ohhhh he needs to be a father so bad huh... like i have been saying this since s1 he just has a Need to tease and spoil children. well, we can unpack that another time. there's crime afoot.

so he watches the tv and it starts to go all static-y because a guy outside is fixing the wires. scully finds a TON of tapes and they’re just shelves and shelves of cable TV shows!!!

“there must be hundreds of videos here”, she says, to which he asks “anything good?” <- idk why this made me giggle. it sounded like he was gonna put one in and chill for a bit lmao

scully starts to wonder if seeing the cable news, like joseph had recorded, was what triggered his episode back at the hospital. ooooh! a theory!!!

cut to mulder watching a tape in the bed of his motel, making an absolute pile of sunflower seeds- this dude is gonna attract mice or something someday omfg- and also he has a cola which is peak american culture. LMAOOOO he has a HUGE pile of tapes on the floor i’m crying... my type A self could NOT deal with him!

he says he watched 36 hours of bernard shaw and bobbi batista and is now also ready to kill someone as scully welcomes him into her room, which also has cola but is much more nicely organized! she found something weird on the tapes from late april, each a night when he committed a murder

AND WHY DID MULDER GET ALL COZIED UP ON HER COUCH?????? hooooooly fuck i have never seen such a baby girl of a man

OMFG??? all the reports from the murder nights feature that miriskovic guy!!!

so did seeing violence make him violent? mulder says no, and that theory assumes that “americans are just empty vessels, ready to be filled with any idea or image that’s fed to them like a bunch of pavlov dogs, and go out and act on it” oh if only this man could see the news lately……… insert ben affleck smoking a cigarette image here to describe the things we see in our current age. mulder you would not believe.

he’s really bashing her theory, but she’s saying maybe he was high and seeing these things sent him on a spiral- makes sense to me

he is leaving to go get some sleep (after admitting he can’t explain what is going on!!! which always endears me) but scully says she is going to watch the rest of the tapes… a herculean task for our girl

middle of the night and it’s still tape time for scully, but she hears the phone ringing. she hears mulder having a conversation. and he says “no, she doesn’t” which is weird… that is suspicious… what doesn't she...

scully chews her ice which is so funny because me too sometimes. she has chewed all of her ice and must fetch more. and get a cola ofc!!! nothing more american than a cold soda iktr!

but she sees mulder in his car??? lighting up with cig man???? HUH??? and handing over a tape? omfg this is crazy. i assume she is hallucinating though, because no way….

cutscene to a lady named helene watching “the price is nice” (lmaooo) and washing some dishes. but the soap in the dishes starts to look funny- and everything is glitching around her!!! she sees a man outside in a hammock… kissing a woman!!! and oh, she is furious!! she gets her SHOTGUN?? this has escalated very fast. and we hear some shooting!!!

scully is still very visibly disturbed. mulder is reporting the murder, but she seems like a shell of herself. she checks the ash tray in the car, and there is no ash… she notices the car has been moved and he says he got a paper…. why do you ask…. “nothing. it’s nothing” OHHH THIS IS JUICY

so the crime scene has a very bloody hammock. and a dead man, who the wife claims he saw in the hammock with a blonde. but the only other creature at the scene was a dog!!!

OH!!! the hammock man wasn’t even helene's HUSBAND??? this really is LAYERED!! she killed the NEIGHBOR thinking it was her husband, who wasn’t even in town!!!!!! how do you mess this up so badly?

despite the fact that scully is clearly suspicious of mulder, she is sharing the umbrella with him in their usual fashion, and the sense of tension this produces is delicious

they go to investigate the crime scene and mulder finds some sort of bike and immediately climbs upon it while proclaiming that television does NOT cause violence (LMAOOO HE IS SO WEIRD i need him.)

they find a bunch more tapes and AGAIN the same guy is messing with the cables outside while they're investigating!!!! mulder is in chase mode!!!! but he cannot chase this dude in the van!!! no man, even a track star such as him, can outrun a van carrying secrets!

scully is trying to fast forward the TV and she looks out to see mulder climbing the pole…. average day for a man like him. he finds a weird cable scrambler in there. she wants to send it to the crime lab, but he says he’ll do the analysis, and she should go interview helene the murderer. OH... she is so suspicious, she just wants to go home…. scully :((( mulder is deeply confused as to why she is being so weird

so he takes the thingy to the lone gunmen, who say it looks like it’s used for blocking premium cable channels, which i didn’t even know was a thing, you learn so much with this show. but it doesn’t block anything!!! HOWEVER, if you compare a tv with the machine and one without it, the one with the machine is slightly different. hmm...

“you know how television works?” “yeah, you click it on, you have a picture” <- the man who said that line went to oxford btw

it seems that this cable blocker thingy is adding some sort of frequency, but they can’t tell what… hmm.

mulder on the road. scully calls and only asks “where are you” in this very flat and creepy tone and OH i’m scared!!!!

he tries to explain that there is some sort of signal being introduced to the tv- he even says she might be right about the tv inducing violence theory! but she isn’t answering… she hears a clicking, like they're being listened to, and she says he never went to the detective…. let’s wait and talk on a landline, he says.

despite being in his car many miles away, he can tell that there is something very wrong with scully. he says don’t go anywhere, he’ll be right there, and redials after she hangs up. it's very much echoing when she said something similar to him in his crazed gargoyle quest.

but she is so scared, she rips the phone out of the wall and takes it apart!!!! and then the lamp too, and the table. she is checking everything for any sort of bugs!

holy hell, we have never seen her like this before... but i’m actually gagged because she is usually relatively stoic and seeing her paranoid is so different, but it also feels very natural??? she is acting her ass off here as she rips up everything in this motel room. big shoutout to GA, i love your work.

and the static that set in helene's vision earlier is setting in hers now!!! she hears a car pull up and drops to the floor…. she hears a man say “she’s in here” and a pounding on the door.

OMFG someone tries to open the door and she FIRES 4 SHOTS RIGHT AWAY??? but it’s mulder!!!!

(author's note: i was thinking after i finished the episode, and we know that she is a good shot- remember how she hit just the right angle to knock mulder out but not kill him at the end of s2? so she is either SO out of it that she cannot even aim straight, or there is a tiny tiny tiny part of her that still thinks that mulder isn't worth killing. please mull over which option brings you greater angst)

he’s coming in with his gun and his hair is blowing in the wind and he can’t FIND HER!!!!! it was really very dramatic. hair blowing in the wind has this effect.

cutscene to scully’s mom’s house, and we see a picture of young scully on the table... AWW stop she’s so cuuuute and one of missy as well 😭😭😭

OH! it’s mulder on the phone calling mrs. scully in the middle of the night!!! NOOOO he has to tell her that he doesn’t know where she is :( NOOOO poor mrs. scully has gone through too much. he feels SO bad breaking this news, that he even apologizes for hanging up right away, something he never ever does. he must be in deeeep distress to do such a thing.

and why does he hang up?? because SKINNER IS HERE!!! he’s leading a manhunt for scully, and mulder is saying she shouldn’t be hunted like a convict… but skinner says dude SHE FIRED FOUR ROUNDS AT YOU AND SOME RANDOM GUY last night!!!!

despite this, mulder insists that he can get her to listen to him if they just keep her safe; she’s suffering from some sort of paranoid psychosis. skinner is being quite patient as he tries to explain that the video tapes made her do it. skinner says well... you better find her before these guys do.

GASP!!! he’s putting up the x on his window! and doing that thing where he bounces his basketball because he cannot relax!!! stop i'm emotional!!!!!

the lone gunmen call to say they found something on the tape…. and it induces electrical activity…. MIND CONTROL???

but why wasn’t he effected?

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! HE’S RED-GREEN COLORBLIND???? THIS IS AN INSANE LORE DROP TO GIVE NEARLY 4 SEASONS IN??????

wait, is this just for plot purposes, or is DD actually colorblind and they decided to roll with it? because now i’m gonna be looking at all the red-ish things we see on screen (like his tie he is grabbing to emphasize his point) and wonder, can he see that? how does this impact his tie selection process....

okay that really threw me off guard. man, i was getting to think we'd never get another lore reveal, which is a shame because i quite like formatting those facts in that way. good to know we could get more at anytime!

he gets a phone call from maryland state police. the lone gunmen ask if she’s okay and he says no, he has to go and ID the body. WHAT!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!! he is trying to keep composed. holy fuck………..

(heavy breathing as i grab your shoulder and squeeze) hey man. hey. he was trying so hard to be strong.

so he pulls up to the morgue and stops before he gets out of the car, and holds his head above the wheel STOP I’LL CRY???? i’ll cry… what are they putting him through??? losing her again……..

(i mean i have SEEN gifs of scully in seasons past this one, so i know she's gonna pull through, but HE doesn't know that, and must be reliving the worst days of his life AGAIN, and aughhhhh!)

but the mystery guy from the start of the episode that give him the info on the muders pulls up and says get in right now!!!!!! mulder is furious, he says he’s busy. in a shocking display of insensitivity, mystery man says he does not give a fuck. mulder is yelling that this is all his fault. mystery man says “they” are destroying the evidence, and they’ll finish it by tomorrow if he keeps searching for her, but he kicks the door shut and ignores him.

(omg…. he loves her enough to break him out of his bloodhound mode… the dogged ahab-like quest for answers and revenge… i’m getting flashbacks to his conversation with missy in one breath…….. realizing he needs to put the ones he loves before his need for revenge sometimes..... wow)

so he walks into the morgue, and the dude in there says they found a body nude and shot in the forehead.

he closes his eyes to try and brace himself before taking a peek, to prepare to see her lifeless, probably reliving those many hours by her bedside when she was in the hospital, trying to imagine her shot in the forehead, the scully he knows and loves with her dry humor and her teasing smile and caffeine dependency, the her that is so full of life, lifeless…

but it isn’t her. PHEW!

despite this being good news that he has to share- she's not dead! her mother isn’t answering her phone…. so he goes to her house. and i'm thinking, oh my gosh, did she do something rash in her grief?

but mrs. scully answers the door and claims dana isn’t here. he bursts in and says he needs to see her right now. omg, he saw right through her lies.

(also, it always feels weird to refer to her as dana, but moving on)

NO!!!! she has him at gunpoint and says he’s here to kill him!!! poor guy looks so flabbergasted… and her mom is trying to get her to please put down the gun, and he’s trying to explain what is going on!!! he is so singularly locked into her….

“he’s lied to me from the beginning. he’s never trusted me” “scully, you are the only one i trust” AUGHHHHH (rips my clothes off of my body in biblical levels of grief)

“you’re one of the people who abducted me” AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (rips off not only my clothing but also my hair as i experience emotions that rival what job from the bible went through)

she’s CRYING, and saying he killed her sister while her mom gets between him and the gun… and she’s saying she knows she’s safe here, that’s why she came here, and to put the gun down. and she falls into her mother’s arms sobbing.

WHAAAAAAAAT. and he had to watch all that… oh my scully oh my goodness my poor scully…

timeskip a little bit. he shows up to the hospital where scully is with her mother, and mockingly puts his hands up in surrender, because he is so STUPID and he always has to make a joke, and i love him so terribly, so so so terribly, because he loves HER.

she's laying in the bed, and he shuts off the tv and asks how she’s feeling. she says she is ASHAMED- as if being a victim of mind control was a personal failing. scully, i want to yell, you have NO REASON to be ashamed, let me take all the shame from you and carry it elsewhere. she says it was like the world was turned upside down.

and he makes ANOTHER stupid joke about the world being out to get him, and now she knows how he feels-

before leaning in and explaining how joseph, the first murderer on this case, became convinced he was killing the bosnian war criminal who people called “the modern hitler”, which was especially important to him because both of his parents survived the holocaust. hence his line about the killing days being over!!!

and helene was scared her husband would cheat on her. so somehow the TV signal turned their worst fears into a living nightmare.

OHHHH HER WORST NIGHTMARE IS HIM BETRAYING HER. HIM BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR HER GOING MISSING AND LOSING HER AUTONOMY AND MEMORIES... wails into my shirt.

(this reminds me of that episode in s2- irresistible- when we learn her biggest fear is that humans are capable of terrible horrific things and grasping to trust despite that knowledge. we’re seeing that again right here. how uncertainty seeps in)

THEY CALL HIM THE CANCER MAN!!! wow very official canon recognition of the name (yeah it’s happened before but it happened again so that is cool) anyway she says she saw him giving cancer man the tapes and reporting.

he says that maybe cancer man was behind this, but then he whispers “why don’t you try and get some rest?” and there is something in me that melts so entirely as he leaves her to sleep.

(perhaps it is the fact that hurt/comfort and whump are my favorite tropes. because is there anything more intimate than letting someone see you at your most vulnerable, and them choosing to love you at it? is there any feeling more cutting than seeing your loved one suffer and knowing you’d stop the world for an instant of their relief? the terrible desperation of both parties, the wordless connection upon recovery, someone being the last thing you see before everything fades to black and then the first person you see when you return... yeah. it’s cathartic. but also it makes me want to yell and cry. pls give me all the hurt/comfort content)

so the doctor found high serotonin levels in her that maybe can be associated with mania, but now they’re back to normal. he asks if someone in her situation would be diagnosed with amphetamine abuse, and she says no. then he quickly calls the hospital where joseph is staying… what is he cooking in there…

he wants to talk to joseph's doctor, dr. stroman, who left behind only a number from the motel…. and he had JUST checked out…. so he’s going through his stuff. and asking about his calls. and he DOES find a cigarette in his room but a lot of people smoke so… try not to jump to conclusions juni… but the cigarettes mean one thing in this show!!! was this innocent-looking doctor behind such a cruel experiment?!

he calls and has the last number the doctor called get checked from the folks at the lab… so he goes to visit the place of residence and creepy music is playing. the dude from the cable company we saw before rolls up!!! he walks right inside the house, so mulder peeks inside. it seems the people in the house set up a trap of some sort, as they are talking about “him” showing up at 7.

he bursts in after hearing gunshots and both of the men in there are dead!!! shot in the head!!!!

who is there... but X???? X says he HAD to kill those men- he just hoped mulder would get them first. and oh, mulder is YELLING AT X!!! he is letting him HAVE IT!!! he says he is a coward, he was too scared to unveil the situation with the mind control TV murders himself….. he says X NEVER risks his own life, but he sure does make him risk mulder and scully’s.

OH! he is holding X at gunpoint. all X is saying is that he failed, and that mulder needs him. so he walks out, confident he won't pull the trigger. and he doesn't.

WHAT! i need to kind of just let that sit for a second. i need to figure out this X fellow, but i get the sense i never will…. he failed… because he chose to try and save scully…….

cutscene to skinner’s office, where mulder is giving him a report. and scully walks in and says that dr. stroman DIED IN 1978!!! when skinner asks about the killer, mulder jumps in and says he remains unknown… oh, skinner is def gonna pick up on that….

so now we see X in a random back alley. getting into a car…. WITH CANCER MAN?????? X REPORTS TO CANCER MAN??? he asks if he has completed his work, and X reports that he has cleaned out all the personnel, everything is removed, but mulder still has a device. and mulder’s source has been eliminated. but the source’s source remains unknown. oh, he’s def lying through his teeth.

OOOOOOH this episode was SO good.

oh man, my brain is racing in a bunch of different directions. scully breaking down and sobbing into her mother’s arms…. scully convinced that mulder is a traitor, that he did those terrible things to her…. mulder so scared that she was gone, bouncing his basketball, getting a call from the police department that he had to go identify her… choosing her, even in what he thought was death, over following the Truth… the sick and twisted relationship he has with X, and X with Cancer Man, and Cancer Man with the world… it’s making me think of how mulder broke into his house that one time, was going to kill him over what he did to scully, and cancer man had the nerve to say he liked mulder… OOOH my brain is just racing racing racing.

poor scully… how scared she was, how horrified afterward…

other things that are on my mind, in no particular order: the bond between scully and her mother; mulder being all babygirl on that couch; mulder hopping on that bicycle and picking up some random doll from the murder victim's house; how haunting scully's voice was when she asked him over the phone where he was; their cola drinking; mrs. scully trusting mulder no matter what; how he tried to cover the grief in his voice when he told the lone gunmen he had to go identify her body; how he kicked the door shut of the mystery man, damning the investigation to pay his respects; how his head hovered above the wheel of the car before he got out to do that; how X uses and uses him to no clear end, and what is HE doing reporting to cig man, and what was that random doctor doing conducted fucked up experiments on random people; and scully's miraculously bad aim; mulder's conviction he could talk sense into her (spoiler: he could not); her shame at being convinced he had been the one who abducted her; how terrifying that must have been; and his stupid jokes when he walked into her hospital room, with the sincerity he tries so hard to outrun and outfox breaking through in his whispered why don't you get some rest?

so needless to say, i see why this one is a fan-favorite. this is certainly one i will be revisiting in the future when i need something strong. i have a million things to think over that will stick with me Forever, and i am in no rush to move on from this. in fact, i took these notes yesterday, but in the process of editing them tonight, i have decided i am not ready for the season finale and will have to save it for tomorrow because i'm still feeling So Many Things. so stay tuned to see how that goes, because whew!

#man i did all the typing of the notes yesterday but editing them took another hour today because RAHHHHH there was so much here to unpack #and i am going to KEEP unpacking it for a while #someone please give that man a child it is becoming increasingly evident he loves being around kids #let's get him to talk about his feelings first and then he can have a baby okay? one thing at a time #OHHH WHAT is this X fellow UP TO?!?!? AUGHHH i need to know #scully. my poor poor poor sweet scully. you deserve no pain and yet such pain has been inflicted upon you.#and her poor mother :( she is just the sweetest :( the pictures of dana and missy on her bedside table...#she is so loved :( and she loves mulder too which is so important :(#WAHHHH <- more crying!!!#so good. but in case you were wondering this still didn't bring actual tears to my eyes.#i guess that is just for poor little doggies getting eaten by beasts...#juni's x files liveblog #3x23 #the x files #txf

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hxrsheykisses · 11 days ago

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INTRODUCTION POST !! 💋

This is where you know some things about me, what I write, rules, and etc! So basically just a good rundown of everything!

ABOUT ME !!

I am a writer who loves to make sure that my readers are happy with each chapter I post. I love making others happy because it always ends up with me being happy as well! Whenever I post a new chapter to a fic or post something on here for you guys, it just makes me feel whole!

You can call me many names such as Bri/Kissy/Hershey! I don’t care, I just like the thought of people calling me that for whatever reason!

I do take requests! So if you guys ever have a request for me then I will be happy to do so! It doesn’t matter to me how many times you request because why should I care? Keep them coming PLSSSS! However, if you do wish to send in requests then make sure you read the rules for that in this post so that we can both be on the same page!

I don’t care if you inbox me or dm me. I love you guys and once you follow me, you are automatically my friend. I don’t care if I known you for 2 minutes, you are now my friend and we will be talking🙏

For those who came from my ao3 account—first, HAIIIII!!! Second, this blog is mainly Eltingville Club crap because we are STARVING. The fandom is small and when a fandom is small we have to fend for ourselves and work together like a squad. If you know the struggle then you’ll understand the pain and suffering. Am I still pissed that the pilot never got picked up? Yes. Yes I am.

Please don’t be scared of me guys. I know i’m pretty gosh darn famous underneath the Eltingville tags on Ao3 (🌚) but please come out of your shell🥺 (I’m lowkey kinda scared of you guys too)

RULES FOR MY BLOG !!

Please don’t be weird. Like, don’t be weird as in problematic weird. I love me some “weird”people who have a shit tom of OCS, self ships, and all of the above cause I eat it up everytime. ALL. DAY. LONG. If you legit DM me a whole OC lore rundown, I’ll most definitely hype you up the whole time cause the lore drop is lowkey fire and is burning down Joe’s comic shop🙏

Guys, we don’t bully here… I know how saddening it can be to be in a fandom where it’s mostly crickets besides from the heinous crap you scramble by online but let’s not allow it to get to our brains. We are ALL in a hassle for Eltingville Club shit and we need to stick together. Teamwork makes the dreamwork.

Please spam like my shit. Please. If you don’t then I’ll ghost my fic on Ao3….dont make me do it /j

RULES FOR REQUESTING !!

If you want smut, then automatically it will be the epilogue time setting. I do NOT know how old these weirdos are at the beginning and I am NOT taking any chances. This is genuinely my worse nightmare so guys please inform me if I should go with this or not, cause i’m lowkey scurred, remember, we MUST stick together and we have to help each other out🙏🙏 PS, I know i’m a minor but guys…let’s be for real. Also…uhhh, if i do. smut or something suggestive…erm, most of the time the reader will be leading cause I actually don’t know how to make the reader not be in control. Like im talking about FULL control whenever I do this. Sorry guys💔🙏

If you have the NERVE to rush me to get your request done there are two things that could happen to you. One, I will purposely take longer to make your request as a vengeance🌚 or I’ll just get rid of your request and proceed with my day

If you couldn’t tell from the “About Me” section of this post—YES. YES I DO TAKE REQUESTS FOR OCS AND SELF SHIPS. YES. Send them in along with some important information about them (Personality, interests, appearance, and their relationship with so & so) so I can get to WORK

GENERAL INFORMATION !!

I’ll try to make a link to all of the Appreciation Inboxes you guys send me because those are genuinely so sweet and I want everyone to see them (if you want yours to be private then just DM me instead!) AUAUAUAU♥️

There will be some posts dedicated to my fic on AO3 (headcanons, oneshots, drabbles, etc) because it’s always nice to have some small extra stuff that doesn’t follow the storyline exactly, just some cute stuff. The link for the fic will be on this pinned post at the very end!

Welp, that’s all that I got for now! Thank you so much for reading this and sticking with me, I hope to see you guys soon while I start to fill this blog with endless Eltingville content. Drink and eat regular and take good care of yourself because YOU matter! Love you!💋♥️♥️

#eltingville pete #eltingville josh #eltingville jerry #eltingville bill #welcome to eltingville #the eltingville club #headcanon #oneshot #drabble #bill dickey #jerry stokes #josh levy #pete dinunzio #KISSY 💋#y2k aesthetic #pink aesthetic

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lonigiri · 4 months ago

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arcade chapter two; pickup line

masterlist

"nowadays all i do is shine take a breath and ease my mind" - 2009 - mac miller

yn sat at the bar, drinking whatever kiyoko had put into her hand. she thought that going to the bar would make her feel better but wow drinking doesnt make her feel better who would've guessed?

"hey, whats your name?"

yn turned her head, ready to reject whatever ugo was trying to flirt with her. instead of seeing an ugly incel she saw a pretty guy. "oh um hey, its yn, what about you?"

"oh its atsumu, but you can call me yours." he flashed a charming smile at her. she rolled her eyes at him and laughed at his advances. the alcohol in her system somehow made her want to go along with him. she watched as he ordered a drink both for him and her making her stomach knot up a bit.

"awe thanks you didnt have to do that!"

"of course i did, a pretty girl like you should be spoiled!" a smile grew on her face and she waved him off shaking her head at him. "oh stop it, im not that pretty." "have you looked in the mirror ever? like genuinely asking." she smiled again, her cheeks starting to hurt because of his flirting. the alcohol on her empty stomach not helping the situation.

she looked down at her phone for a second seeing the groupchat blowing up. she didnt read any of the messages she just out her phone on do not disturb and placed it back down on her lap. looking back at the pretty man that kept buying her drinks.--she knows that he told her his name but she did not remember it if she was being 100% honest--. he was talking to this guy. her eyebrows furrowed trying to hear whatever they were saying but she couldnt make out anything they were saying over the loud music.

"atsumu leave her alone, shes drunk, dont take advantage of her." "shes having a good time! if she didnt want me here she would tell me, right?" the man turned around and looked at her for approval, but all she could see was the man that stood behind her. the regular from the arcade. she thought she was seeing things so she blinked a couple times to make out what she was seeing.

"do i know you from somewhere?" she spoke. "hey i just asked you a question?" atsumu desperately trying to get her attention back. "are you from the arcade?" the man standing behind atsumu said, his eyebrows furrowing. "oh my god. is this is hot girl from the arcade!!??" atsumu said to the guy that was standing behind him. "i think what i said was pretty, but yeah thats her." the mystery man talked to atsumu but was staring at yn. his focus snapped straight to atsumu and then grabbed him by the ear and dragged him away from the bar. "hey i never got your- he cant hear me."

"hey wheres that blonde dude?" kiyoko came up to yn talking to her from across the bar. "arcade dude was here." "arcade dude? you mean YOUR arcade dude??" "yeah i guess he's friends with the blonde?"

fun facts!

-atsumu HATES going to the bar

-noya is NEVER a casual drinker, he drinks to get BLACKOUT drunk i wish i was kidding

-yns drink of choice is a vodka cranberry w a splash of soda water

-once yn gets 6 drinks in kiyoko starts adding less and less vodka to her drinks until they basically turn into cranberry soda

-atsumu scoped out the bar and then went up to the prettiest girl that was there and that happened to be yn

-oikawa was genuinely suprised when atsumu started talking to yn and she didnt turn him away instantly

-atsumu has the same 5 pickup lines that (usually) never work

-yeah yn and bokuto still dont know who tf eachother are

tags- @itsdragonius @koshox @miss-manipulative @rrosiitas @celestialsabrina @deluluforcarlos55 @tsumtsumya @gigiiiiislife @dazqa @soobin1437 @thiisisntlovely @nymphsdomain @kagsoup @secondary-character-25 @fefesooli @walllflowerrrsss @giocriedpower @zukly @jaynawayna

(if your name is bolded i am NOT able to tag you please go to your settings and change it to where everyone can tag you) (if you want to be tagged the form is in my masterlist that is linked above)

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alpaca-clouds · 5 months ago

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Solarpunk Game Ideas: Visual Novels + Dating Sims

Okay, yes, I will admit: This list of games for the most part is mostly about putting out some ideas for games that are less slow and more fast paced. Because so far we had mostly very, very slow games in this. Still, I do want to make one post about VNs, because I still think that the VN genre is a super fun one, that is way to underused and undervalued. Also Romance games or Dating Sims, that sadly mostly get hated on for no reason.

The Issue:

Especially on itch.io there are a couple of Visual Novels for Solarpunk and nearly a third of the games on Steam are also tagged for it, but I feel that for a big part this once more suffers from the same issue as the Solarpunk novel writing: People struggle with coming up with a proper conflict, especially here for having the branching paths that often are a big part of VNs. And Dating Sims often are kinda a subgenre of Visual Novels (their origin is from a crossover of VNs with finance games, which is still so wild to me).

Like yesterday, just three little ideas what one could do within this mix of genres.

Idea #1: A Scientific Horror Story

My favorite subgenre of VN is the horror VN. Even though it kinda gets more attention only recently. And as some who follow me for a while know that I love the idea of Solarpunk horror. As I have said before: Horror - especially Supernatural Horror - is perfect for Solarpunk. Because ghosts, demons and monsters do not care whether or not you have an utopian world. They will still haunt you!

So, here is the idea: A group of scientists start their work in some remote location. My general idea is either some scientists for natural stuff (biodiversity?) or something historical (maybe of dead cultures). But while they are there isolated in their small group, strange things keep happening at the station. And it turns out that the area their new station is set up in is in fact haunted.

I personally would probably link the haunting to some sort of dark history. Maybe colonialism, given that Solarpunk is also very anti-colonialist and such. Though I am going to leave it at that.

Idea #2: Murder in a Solarpunk Commune

I think one of the most common genres of VNs is actually the Mystery genre. A lot of VNs are somewhere in the mystery genre. Maybe in crossover with another genre, but a lot of Mystery is there. Which kinda makes sense. And as I said before: Even in a Solarpunk world murders will happen. They will be less, but they will happen.

So, here is my idea. We have a Solarpunk future where most people live either in city or in rural communes. There are also a whole bunch of people who will just travel as a sort of futuristic bards. This is the player character. And this futuristic bard comes to a rural commune to stay for a few days - when a murder happens. And somehow everyone errupts in accusations, because the murder victim has clearly been a bit of an asshole. So now the people ask the travelling main character to be the one to solve the murder. And hence the player needs to talk to people and try to find out what is happening in this place.

Idea #3: Polyamorous Dating Sim

Lastly, let me talk Dating Sim. Admittedly, I have only played so many Dating Sims, but let me talk about the thing that annoys me about them: All of them are mononormative. There is basically no Dating Sim that is polyamorous. Sure, there are a handful indie poly dating sims, but it is pretty rare. Which, yes, I am very aware that this is also for technical limitations. But hear me out.

Just make a sweet little dating game of a person getting into a nice solarpunk setting. Maybe into a rural commune, maybe into a science center, something like that. Does not really matter, but they are gonna date. But this is a world were polyamory is pretty normalized, so some of the people you are dating are actually already in a relationship - at times with each other. And depending on the kinds of constellations you could play around with the outcomes for this.

Again, just have not seen a lot in this direction and man, I would do a lot for it!

And if you are interested in creative Solarpunk endeavors, I would love to invite you into the Solarpunk Creatives community! :)

#solarpunk #lunarpunk #indie dev #game dev #indie games #solarpunk games #visual novel #dating sim #polyamory #horror #mystery

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islandofsages · 1 year ago

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darling heart.

summary: in which you are someone who participates in/identifies with jirai kei culture.

characters: heartslabyul boys x gn reader

tags: relationship not specified, fluff, imagines format

warnings: mentions of mental health, mentions of self-destructive tendencies

author's notes: hiiii this is very self-indulgent bc i am a jirai kei babe,, im specifically a jirai danshi <3 i might do for other dorms too, depending on my motivation lol you can find out more by searching up jirai kei tho dont just read the jfashion wiki for it, it's more than just a fashion style. also beware of potentially triggering stuff since it deals with mental health and all

Riddle Rosehearts

He’s intrigued by this subculture that you participate in and he’d ask you more about it, if you don't mind telling him - he’ll do his own research too anyway

When he finds out it's basically a subculture consisting of people with emotion dysregulation issues and is generally controversial, he checks up on you and asks you if you're okay or not

You laugh then – you’ve had your ups and downs but really, so has everyone. You hope reading about it hasn't scared him off

He’d feel like calling you a “landmine type” is too insensitive but you assure him that there's nothing to worry about and that people who participate in the subculture has reclaimed such stereotypes and fully embrace it

He’d really enjoy seeing you decked out in jirai kei fashion; he may want to try it himself but he’d insist that it's not in his place to participate, only support from the sidelines

You do get him to try out clothes that are similar to or inspired by the culture though – he seems to be comfortable in the style and you're happy that something that you enjoy can also bring the same joy to him

You’ll also recommend some songs to him, especially ones that you think would help him in studying despite the sometimes concerning lyrical content

If someone tries to bully you for identifying with the subculture, he’d step in immediately and defend your honor

“What right do you have in deciding what (Y/N) identifies with? That's what I thought. I’m always in the right.”

Through your downs and ups, Riddle will always be there for you.

Ace Trappola

He has heard of it before but he thought it was only a type of fashion, not a whole subculture with more substance to it than clothes

You’d infodump to him all about it and your journey with it, whether you just discovered it or have been identifying with it for a long time – he listens to you curiously all the while

He’s caught off guard for a moment by the more controversial and depressing part of it but he quickly recovers

He’s happy for you and glad that you’re comfortable having such a culture define a part of you

Though he implores not to do all the self-destructive stuff if you could and he’ll look out for you more just in case

He definitely thinks you rock while wearing your jirai kei outfits; it’s not his style but he wouldn’t mind trying it once, just to get a feel for the style

“Yeah, this is definitely not my thing… you, on the other hand, look pretty awesome.”

You’d give him a link for your playlist (or a playlist you’ve saved) and he’d listen to it when he’s bored – ends up adding a few songs to his personal playlist

If he finds anyone stereotyping you unnecessarily, he’ll call them out, saying as if they’re any better

Despite everything, you are still uniquely you in his eyes.

Deuce Spade

He apologizes for not knowing too much about it when you bring it up and you tell him it’s okay because it gives you an excuse to ramble about it

You tell him what it entails and how you’ve come to find out about it, sifting through your past experiences both good and bad

He tries very hard to be understanding, even if he doesn’t really get it. You’re just grateful to have his support

“I don’t really get it but it gives you a sense of community, right? I think that’s pretty cool!”

He’s also a little concerned about the mental illness part so he’d regularly check up on you to make sure you’re doing okay

He’d ask you to tell him more about your experiences with the subculture if you have any more and if anything exciting happens, you go to him first

Such as acquiring a brand new article of jirai kei clothing for example! He thinks the style is super pretty and fits you really, really well

He’d listen to the music together with you, sharing earphones and all – maybe he would even listen to them while he tries to do anything

He’ll be your guard dog and bite back whoever dares to make fun of you for being part of the subculture’s community you’ll have to calm him down sometimes

You couldn’t ask for a better cheerleader than him.

Cater Diamond

He’s always known about the subculture and although he doesn't participate in it, he thinks it's really neat

You tell him more about it and about the misconceptions people have about it so that he doesn't misunderstand

He’s super stoked that he knows someone in real life who actually participates in the subculture since he gets to see how it actually is in reality

He mostly knows about the fashion and when you come rocking up to him wearing the classic jirai kei look, he tries his best not to fanboy

He compliments you then proceeds to ask you where you got it – though cute styles like it aren’t his thing, he feels like he can give this style a try

He’d match with you on days he doesn’t feel too uncomfortable with more cutesy styles and snap pictures of you two to post on Magicam

He’d also go scouring for the music online to add more songs to his already rapidly growing playlist. He’d share some recommendations with you too!

Unintentionally got you more jirai kei friends since some people saw his posts about matching with you on Magicam; even people you already know commented on his post

“Look at us, (Y/N)! We’re totally Magicam-famous now~”

You laugh with him, head thrown back while the seeds of your relationship bloom behind where the two of you sit.

Trey Clover

He doesn’t know too much about it so he’ll ask you to explain to him what it is – to which you excitedly agree to

You tell him everything from the origins to how you’ve come to participate in the subculture – he nods patiently all the while

The mental health part of it has him questioning you a bit but he has no ill intention, he’s simply looking out for you and is worried about you

He’s supportive all the way and thinks it’s nice that you have something you’re passionate about. He’d even do his own research when he has the time

He’s pleasantly surprised when you show up wearing jirai kei fashion one day; he definitely thinks you look striking in the get-up

He wouldn’t mind going with you if you were to shop for more jirai kei-related things – he would joke you’ll have to repay by helping him out another time though

He’ll listen to your song recommendations and if he likes them enough, he’d listen to them while he’s in the kitchen. He likes that they remind him of you

“Oh, this one’s pretty catchy. …These lyrics though…”

Going places with you certainly catches attention sometimes but he doesn’t mind, as long as you’re happy and comfortable in your own skin

His name truly defines him – you sure feel lucky to have him in your life.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #platonic twst x reader #platonic twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #ace trappola #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade #deuce spade x reader #cater diamond #cater diamond x reader #trey clover #trey clover x reader

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dayfaresthenight · 3 months ago

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Alex's Bio

Name: Alex Davis Alt Names: "Trollmaster". (LEL Get pwned xDDD)

Special Titles: Puppet, Old Friend. (for being a puppet he is pretty off-handed honestly, kinda weird but I don't mind haha)

Username: Trollmasterlol351

Nicknames: Troll, Alexy.

Chronological Age: 17

Age: 17 (juuust one more year!)

Pronouns: He/him

Sexuality: Bisexual

Gender: Cis Male

Species: Human, "Vessel" (i don't know what a vessel is LOL)

Disorders: Conduct Disorder, Chronic Nightmares. (what??? nightmares? i don't get nightmares!!! xD)

Physical Disabilities: Weakness in Left leg (Recovering!!!)

Religion: None. (I consider myself open-minded, though!) Grade: 12th

Lives in: [REDACTED] (I don't give out my location to strangers on the net xD), Also Daisys House! Languages: English, LEET SPEAK, Various Ciphers. (Marble Hornets taught me well!!!)

Height: 5'12 (I AM 6'0 I AM 6'0) Race: Paleish in Vessel, Cacussian in Real form (NOOO STOP LEAKING MY PERSONAL INFO WHOEVER YOU ARE DX) Ethnicity: English-American Accent: Rather Light and Chipper, although deepens when angry.

Powers: Exceptionally Emotionally Resilient, Respawning (In-Vessel Form, or When in Daisy's house in general), Memory Connections (Considering I'm always with the guy in armor when in here, I can see basically whatever he sees!) Weaknesses: Short Temper when Provoked, His Guilt, Killing his Puppeter. (...haha these people really are weird LOL)

Weapons: The nearest chair he can huck at someone, Linked Swords. (1v1 me on Sword fights on the heights i'd win 100% xD)

Alignment: Chaotic Good (I... Really do try my best, despite everything.)

Text Color: This!!!

Main Hobbies: Gaming, Collecting (pokemon cards!!!)

Favorite Food: PIZZA!!!!!! Favorite Flower: Daisys xD (daisys are pretty cool but in all seriousness I like sunflowers a lot too!!!)

Scent: Blueberry Bodyspray. (Gotta dress to impress!!!)

Handedness: Right-handed

Blood Color: Red

Awareness: VERY Aware [Effect: Positive] (...)

Birthday: January 23rd (THE BIG 18 IS COMING UP!!!!)

Theme:

Playlist:

Fun Facts: I am totally an elite haxer who was taught by 1x1x1x1x1x1x1x11 himself!!!!! Used an exploiting script once and thinks hes a hacker now. Actually pretty good at games, even if he overestimates himself 99% of the time.

Special Interests: Pokemon, Mario, Retro Games, Retro Internet. (RETRO IS THE BEST)

Stims: Fast Talking, Jumping Around.

Stimboard: WIP Moodboard: WIP Fashion Board: WIP Comfort Objects: His Old Gameboy Advance.

Family: Claire Davis (Mom!) Gregory Davis (Dad!)

Friends: DAISY! (Best friend), Courtney, (Close Friend), Jose (Friend), Everyone else in the Friend group (Friends!), Lancia (Friend)

Romance: N/A!!

Enemies: Zandeeee (Maybe? Idk, she doesn't seem to really like me), The NPCs (Most of them are just not really nice to her...), The Cultivator (That mushroom can rot in hell for what he did to my friend.)

Patrons: Ozymandias (He is the one who brought me here. I don't think he has good intentions, but I'm still grateful to him and stuff!)

Pets: Claire (my cat!!! I named it after my mom because she is cool xD)

Brief Personality: Alex is on the surface a very kind person. Energetic, and always pulling various pranks in an attempt to entertain and cheer up his friends. Whenever there's a chance to pull someone's leg, he'll be the first one doing it. Despite that though, Alex never tends to take his pranks too far- and is extremely supportive of his friends when they need it. He struggles a lot with his own emotions, and in general, isn't really good at conveying how he feels.

Alex is fiercely protective of those he cares about, and he will immediately throw himself into the line of fire just to protect them. He is very rebellious, and this often leads him into situations that are severely out of his weight class.

Brief Backstory: Alex is a relatively regular person, at least compared to most in this place. He was born in 1999 to his parents and grew up in a relatively middle-class lifestyle. Although his family had some hard times, he generally grew up well taken care of.

He discovered the internet and Roblox at a young age and immediately fell in love with it. He finally had a group of like-minded people who could tolerate his shenanigans, which made him quite happy. He never really had many friends growing up, so he deeply cherished this friend group.

One person, though, he latched onto more than the others, and that was Daisy. Daisy was always there to come on and play with him and was one of the few people Alex would settle down with and talk about stuff with. Someone, he didn't feel the need to impress or entertain.

Despite that though, he was rather oblivious to Daisy's own troubles, something that eats him up to this day. Maybe if he had just noticed sooner, maybe if he had just told his mom he was worried about her, maybe...

...But the past is the past. Everyone's gone their own ways, and Alex is starting to feel that loneliness that he thought he had escaped start to creep back in. The memories are coming back, and it's starting to haunt him.

Why can't he just forget? Why can't-

Knock knock.

...He opened up the front door...

"Would you like me to bring you to your friend?"

...

Maybe it's never too late to make amends, to... make things right.

#daisydaisyanswer #oc stuff #Spotify

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