#I feel physically ill

[elliesauerseed]

I need to be more open and honest with the peeps in my life. When I try even with the person who is emotionally available to me~ sometimes it falls short. Sometimes I don’t say everything I need to say. I try though. Dude, do I try! I have mentioned some concerns about crazy shit that probably could have been put on the back burner~ but I wanted my hubby to not be blindsided by my whacked outness. So I tried to bring up my tf again to him the other day. Cryptic much? Tf=twin flame. The conversation didn’t go well cuz he thought I was minimizing my relationship with him. :/ surreal blank expression inserted here. I’m going to try and bring it up again….. cuz I feel this on a deep level. I do want deeper intimacy in my life. I’m having a really difficult time the last two weeks ish. I see my therapist on the 4th. I’ll bring this shit up to my therapist. In the meanwhile~ I’ll just keep on smushing my feelings for a bit longer. It’s been a fuckin decade dude. Wtf. Tf’s are constantly on your mind. I’m having extra thoughts and feelings arise and I already have enough issues with identifying my feelings. I need to meditate more. That was on my vision board too. I wrote the word nurture WRONG on my board~ I need to fix it. Nuture is not a word apparently. Lol

I need to nurture my soul. Nurturing my soul means being true to myself. I’m not always true to myself. Sometimes I even lie to myself. Smh

I KNOW it wasn’t limerence. I feel it to my core that it wasn’t limerence. Why do I feel like I’m going crazy? The planetary shift? Idk. TF is definitely reading this. Does that mean I’m cheating on my husband?

My husband does have a shirt that reads~ Hopeless Romantic seeks filthy whore. I have told him a grip of times he should have worn that on our first date. I obvi need serious help mentally. Unless you are a twin with a chaser runner dynamic~ you might not understand what the hell any of this means, but it’s semi to moderately painful. I need more sleep. Lately it’s been severely painful. Fuck man. Please send help. Obvi no one can save me other than me.

I told my psycho roommate that the other day. That no one could save her except herself. She’s not a total like psych~ she just has very few boundaries.

I don’t have victim mentality, I just don’t and haven’t in years and years. I am more of a thriver generally. I thrive on life, but I do not stay grounded enough. I need to ground and meditate.

Note to self: take your own advise!

PS- listen to come undone by Duran Duran if you get a chance. Today is the day that I made up for TFs birthday. He has five planets in Aquarius……. And I knew his birthday was at 8:05 but he didn’t tell me the day or year so I calculated it for myself by KNOWING he had five planets in Aquarius, but I think I might have done it wrong since rising signs aren’t really planets. Idk. I just know he has a stellium in Aquarius…….Aquarius peeps are my fave. That’s part of the reason I started dating my now hubby. He’s an Aquarius and he’s fucking dope. What’s wrong with me?

If we dating, we can’t let miscommunication ruin our bond. We gotta be willing to talk it out, apologize & self reflect

[coyotejone-s]

i'm gonna throw the fuck up

[a-killler-queer]

How am I supposed to go on with everyday life knowing that Phil submitted multiple clips of him with Dan during the WAD segment of small mundane moments that make life worth living? You can't show me that and expect me to just move on

[god-damnit-vinne]

can we please make it socially acceptable to want to claw your eyes out about something. because holy shit. i cannot and i mean CANNOT watch or read or see anything saiouma thats related to ch5 of v3 because if i do i take fucking poison damage

[str4wb3rry-fire]

jeremy jordan's voice and my daddy issues are joining forces against me right now

[kdkdnfuiahuag]

just read a fic where mike said “don’t apologise for being a human being, will. that’s your worst habit, you know.” 

i want to cry

[thaliasthunder]

just imagined a flashback in tsats of just arrived to camp 10 year old nico ranting to bianca w glinting eyes about how cool that percy boy is

[flwerink]

Jayvik nation…I would say how we feeling but being honest I feel a bit nauseous after that

[jadelemonadee]

YOU GUYS I AM ACTUALLY TWEAKING OUT SO HARD I FEEL NAUSEOUS /VVPOS IM GOING TO START SCFEAMING IM SHAKING

HIS VOICE HIS FUCKING VOICE OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM ITS SO PRETTY I WISH HE GOT TO USE IT MORE AS SEABURY OR ANYONE ELSE WHEN HES NOT UNDERSTUDYING SO BADLY I NEED HIM YALL I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AND RUNNING AROUND MY ROOM

[shiroscosmicass]

does anyone else feel like they're just. dying right now

[zalesdreamland]

ok. whatever.

[girltiger5000]

i saw that you posted jimanya with a say anything song! have you heard the song property by the same band? it fits them a lot in my opinion

anon after you sent this ask I read the lyrics and then I listened to it on repeat for days Thank you…

anyways anon you are so right I absolutely see it. it’s like if Jimmy was a little bit more obsessed about having control over her and cared about her (in his regular messed up ways) a little more

[skinnyscottishbloke]

so Oregon is gorgeous but Nick’s aunt started smoking again and I did not know that until we had planned the trip and maaannn. I almost wish I hadn’t come. The whole house REEKS. I taste smoke when I inhale and since she mostly smokes in the kitchen I don’t even want to cook food or be down there for any period of time. I don’t want to be rude but it’s actively stressing me out to be in the house or around her for any period of time. So much for our vacation.

[eldritch-queerr]

this is the most jonmartin song ever

[eqlipwze]

Everything is getting worse and I’m so tired. Both physically and mentally. I just wanna kms.

[aroacesigma]

i havent had this bad of a dysphoria day in a while oh my god i hate my life