#I feel nothing but disgust when I see men attracted to her

[dykesevika]

If she’s not a lesbian I’m gonna have the biggest crash out of the century

[thisisntmyrightera]

Together - CHO HYUN-JU x Fem Reader Part 3

Summary: Reader is scammed and abandoned by her boyfriend, leaving her alone in South Korea to her fate, so in desperate search of a solution to return to her home country she decides to join the squid games to get money, within the game she meets a couple of people who become her friends and could possibly be something more.

Warning: Violence, homophobia mention of attempted rape and sexist language

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◻○△ Hyun-Ju POV △○◻

The lights had barely gone out when Y/N had fallen asleep using one of her arms as a pillow and even though I was lying on my side, the space she used was still tiny, I could cover her with my arms and make her disappear without any problem.

The strands of her hair fell carefully and perfectly arranged around her head, some on her face where her long eyelashes adorned her cheeks, it was so strange to see and even more difficult to understand.

Previously, before I began with my identity recognition, my appearance attracted too many girls, many of them interested in my position and the economic benefits that this could bring to their lives, but I never felt attracted to them, they were all the same and empty.

But then why did I feel like this now? She could be my little sister, the fragile and sweet girl that I could take care of but my heart didn't feel that way, my stomach turned when she took my hand with fear, taking care that the bond didn't break so she wouldn't get lost from my side, my heart beat a thousand times faster when her eyes narrowed every time she smiled, my head spun every time she told me those words of encouragement making me see that I never made a mistake and that being who I am is no problem, she was the reason now for wanting to get out of this game and it didn't matter if I won the money or not, she was the best thing I had ever won.

Aren't you sleepy?…- she whispered making me jump slightly but I remained silent looking at her - don't pretend you're asleep… I can feel your gaze I'm sorry, I'm not sleepy yet..- I smiled at nothing feeling embarrassed for being discovered You should rest, tomorrow we will need strength to continue playing - her eyes barely opened illuminated with the warm light of the piggy bank - what are you thinking so much about? Thinking? What do you mean? - I looked at her curiously trying to pretend that everything was fine If you can't sleep, it's because your head is busy, what's wrong? - Damn, how did she know me so well? Just 3 days were enough for her to read me like the palm of her hand I was thinking… that… that this would be the last game we could play and then we would vote to withdraw from the competition - I smiled barely arranging a lock of her hair that covered her eyes I see, I was thinking the same thing, I don't want to be here anymore, when I get out I'll look for a job, no matter how bad the pay is, I just want to get out and go home - she sighed tiredly

If you don't mind telling me, now I would like to know why you decided to come to these games, what's your story?

Well… -she sighed deeply biting the inside of her lip a little and with another sigh she looked at me again- a year ago I met a guy online, he fell in love with me and he promised me that we would have a long and happy relationship, we went out for a couple of months just through messages and calls and one day he proposed to come to Korea to meet him and if everything went well I would stay with him to live and we would start a family, so… I quit my job and bought a ticket to come here… I met him and everything was going well but a couple of months later he… took all my money and disappeared, he barely paid the last month's rent and luckily they didn't throw me out but… -her gaze lowered sadly feeling ashamed- it was a stupid thing, I should never have trusted someone I didn't know

Men are disgusting… well.. you.. you understand - she laughed a little wiping her wet eyes - then you need the money for?..

To go back home, buy a plane ticket and go back to my country, I'm not welcome here and people have let me know in many possible ways, I just want to go with my family and start over what I left behind

Oh… - my heart felt like it was breaking into a thousand pieces, a part of me thought that by leaving this game she and I could get to know each other a little more, but she just wanted to run away from here, like I wanted and never hear from anyone else again - then… you'll leave

Yes I think so, but don't worry, once we get out we'll continue being friends and when I have a job I'll pay for all the necessary trips to visit you in Thailand - her eyes narrowed with the smile that formed on her lips, it was so comforting but at the same time so painful to hear that.

I didn't understand why it hurt, I had never felt that feeling of pain and abandonment in that sense, the sense of being in love with her.

Is something wrong? - Her small hand slowly touched my cheek making me focus my attention back on her just shaking my head smiling a little

Everything is fine, it's just that… I will miss my best friend as long as she doesn't come to visit me… - I lied and lied again when I told her I was sleepy and we had to sleep, I spent the night awake, watching her sleep once sleep overcame her again

The next morning, at the sound of the loudspeaker, everyone got up, as if so many hours had passed without even feeling the passage of time.

She barely woke up and jumped out of bed as if she had regained all the energy she had lost in the previous days, put on her shoes and almost ran down to greet Jun-Hee and ask her if she had slept well and if her baby had moved during the night. Y/N had barely found out that 222 was pregnant she kept asking her questions, excitedly showing that she couldn't wait for her turn.

Her authentic happiness made me feel much worse, it made me feel selfish, I wanted her for myself but I couldn't give her anything she wanted, I wouldn't give her the happy life, nor the family she dreamed of, it was a martyrdom and I only thought that I had made the worst decision to be the way I am now.

That is your punishment - the shaman laughed leaning on the bedposts - for following the wrong path that the gods wrote for you, now you will suffer, you love her but you will not have her

I don't know what you are talking about ma'am - I looked at her closing my sweater and arranging my hair with my fingers

Oh no? We are not stupid, we all know what you think when you look at her, how much you want to kiss her and show her that you love her but you don't, because you know that she doesn't like people like you, she only talks to you out of pity and she will never like you - the woman laughed, knowing that she had broken the last thing that was left in a piece inside me, she knew my secret and could use it against me to make me weak at any moment

Shut your mouth you damn bitch, you only know how to say shit, why don't you pray to the gods to give you a new brain uh? Get out of here - Geum-Ja confronted her pushing her away with her hands making the shaman go away laughing while I sat on the steps with my insides destroyed - girl, don't listen to her, that woman attacks where she knows she will truly destroy, don't give her that pleasure

She's right… - I looked at her sadly while she sat next to me brushing my hair with her fingers

Is she right? About we all know you have feelings for that girl? Of course she's right, but she'll never be right in stating what she feels or doesn't feel for you and we won't know until she tells you, maybe she sees you as an older sister or maybe as her best friend… -she smiled at me taking my hand- or maybe, deep inside, where no one knows her secrets, she feels for you the same as you do for her and it doesn't matter if you think you're not enough for her, when you're the right person for someone, all dreams come true

Do you believe in that? - I looked at her again feeling my lungs fill with air once again with her loving motherly smile

Of course, it doesn't matter what you were before or what you are now or if you are both girls, if love is sincere then love can do everything and I know you will fight to save yourself but especially her and I promise you that once we leave you two will go to my house and we will eat the best kimchi you have ever tasted, do you understand? - She laughed patting my back making me smile

''Players, it's time for a new game, please line up and leave in order following the masked soldiers''

Hyun-Ju, let's go - Y/N called me making me look at her quickly while she smiled

Go with her, I'll go with my son - Geum-Ja patted me again standing up as we both went down

Don't leave my side okay? - I looked at her as she nodded smiling and stood in front of me in the line of players

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The instructions had been clear and one thing was clear to me, I should not separate myself from Y/N at any time, she would be my priority in this game and no matter how many players there were, she would be the one who would always be by my side.

The platform spun to that traumatizing childhood song, everyone silently looking at each other

''10'' - The speaker spoke making us freeze

There are 4 of us, we need 6 more - Yong-Sik shouted desperately pulling his hair

Y/N! Here, there are 5 of us - Dae-Ho shouted pulling Y/N's arm making her look at him

There are 4 of us - I pulled her other arm bringing her back to me looking at him annoyed - Run to a room I'll look for one more

No Hyun-Ju I won't leave, let's go together - Y/N looked at me scared shaking her head

Don't worry, run! - I took her hand giving it to Dae-Ho making him pull her while I screamed looking for person 10 taking whoever the first person I saw was pulling her into the room

''10..9..8..7.''.- the speaker spoke making me nervous when I was able to enter the room and close the door almost fainting without oxygen in my lungs and the countdown reached zero we all looked at each other, the shots could be heard leaving us stunned as we caught our breath

Everyone is alive thanks to me! - the shaman shouted looking at us one by one - ah… I see why I'm here, to save your little friend's life - she laughed pointing at me

Don't start you damn crazy - Geum-Ja looked at her annoyed

As soon as the lock was removed and the door opened, everything was a bloodbath, we all walked in fear looking around confused when I felt a warm hand take mine.

You said we wouldn't separate… don't do that again - Y/N looked at me with her wet eyes

I'm sorry..- I smiled barely squeezing her hand walking slowly together so as not to slip with the blood on the floor

Again the song began to play and the platform turned again, this time with fewer players on it

''4'' - the speaker rang as soon as the song stopped making us look at each other

Run! Run now - I squeezed her hand pulling her as Geum-Ja and Yong-Sik followed us into the room and I closed the door leaning my back against it so no one could open it

This is so tiring… it's torture - Yong-Sik sat on the floor with his head in his hands desperate

Are you okay? - I looked at Y/N who was breathing heavily looking at the floor

Yes.. - she barely answered catching her breath

Again the lock opened letting us out, there was more blood and fewer people, the floor was sticky making our steps difficult until we reached the platform, once again the game began, the lights came on and the song played loudly

''3'' - the speaker announced making us look at each other again

What do we do? - Y/N looked at me scared

Come with me, we're doing in pairs and we'll look for someone - I grabbed her hand tightly, running screaming looking for someone, being pushed by Yong-Sik into the room

What are you doing here? Where's your mother? - I looked at him scared as he caught his breath

What?…what are you talking about? - he looked at me adjusting his misplaced glasses

The teams are 3 Yong-Sik, where did you leave your mother? - Y/N looked at him screaming upset

What? I understood 4, damn it - Yong-Sik tried to leave stumbling and throwing his glasses on the floor

This time Y/N let go of my hand and left quickly, grabbing Geum-Ja by the clothes skillfully by the back pulling her into the room with such force making her almost fall when she hit the wall and then she takes the door and closing it, now she was outside

No…Y/N NO, COME IN! - she looked at me through the gap in the door, her bright eyes looked at mine for the last time and then she ran - no, please no - the sound of the lock on the door rang and no matter how hard I pulled on it, it was impossible to open it

'' 10..9..8..7 ''

NO, NOT LIKE THIS, NOT HER - I looked at Geum-Ja pulling on my hair, my knees became weak making me fall on the floor as my tears fell

''6…5…4…3''

PLEASE DON'T KILL HER, DON'T SEPARATE HER FROM ME!..

''2…1…''

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Can you guess what would happen in the next episode? Can you guess who have a crush with Y/N? Let me read you! :3

Thanks for reading, I'll be back soon!

Tag List!

@kuureii @sann1e @sunflowers-are-heaven @bridellashiper @etta-huracan @cupiid1 @alianacelinecolux @juliexz @duchcess

[realmsdelght]

A silver haired girl; Jacaerys Velaryon 

Jacaerys Velaryon x twin!reader Summary: a visit to a brothel leads to sharing feelings that had been buried deeply within the twins Note: italics are high valyrian. All of a sudden I found myself simping over my boy Jace and I don't think I can ever go back Warning: none, she's just a cute little drabble Word count: 866

The hour of the wolf was almost at its end when Prince Jacaerys returned to the Keep. He walked quietly through the halls after biding his stepfather good night, after a very loud and busy night, all he wished for was the quiet comfort of his own chambers. Once inside his chambers, he was met with a familiar figure lying on his bed. 

“How was your night?” His twin asked, not taking her eyes away from the carved dragons on the ceiling.

“It was… eventful,” the prince said as he stripped from his doublet, throwing it on the chair.

The princess pushed herself up to her elbows, watching as her brother removed his boots. “Eventfull?” She questioned, “You are aware that we all know where Daemon took you.”

Now, stripped to his comfortable clothes, the prince climbed onto his bed, lying down next to his sister. “It was interesting. I saw many different things and positions,” both siblings giggled at his remark. The twins stared at the ceiling, the silence between them was not uncomfortable, but both knew there were things they wished to say to each other. “But I did not do anything,” he tried to assure her, “I believe this visit was just to make acquaintances.” The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Jacaerys decided to get his sister’s attention again, “did you know that there are women that dye their hair to look like Targaryens?”

“I would imagine so,” her eyes traced the largest carved dragon.

“How so?” Jace was not an innocent child anymore, he knew the Targaryens’ Valyrian features were attractive, especially for the common people, but he did not imagine the people’s fascination with them went that far.

“I simply see the way men look at me, Rhaena, Baela, and Helaena. So I would imagine they would pay women to satisfy their fantasies,” she told her brother, who seemed disgusted by what she had just told him, “what is it?”

“I know people look at you, how could they not, you are beautiful. But it did not notice men would stare at you like that,” the princes felt guilty he never noticed how men acted towards his sister.

“Men are men Jace, they lustfull gaze does nothing but disgust me. And you didn’t notice because women don’t stare at men like men stare are us,” she hoped to ease the guilt she knew her brother was feeling, “you were probably only stared at like that today, I would imagine the girls at the brothel were very pleased to see you.”

The prince scoffed, “I do not have the Targaryen features people are fascinated by.” Out of Rhaenyra’s eldest children, Jacaerys’ twin was the only one who had silver hair and lighter eyes, and she knew it bothered her brother sometimes.

His sister turned to her side so she could face him, but his eyes did not leave the carved ceiling, “your eyes and eyes may be dark, but your face is that of a Targaryen,” at that, the prince shook his head, he did not wish for his sister’s pity. “You may deny it, but you look exactly like Mother, more than any of us do,” she pointed out. “So,” a mischievous smile appeared on her face, “which ones do you prefer, the silver or dark haired ones?”

At her question, she could see her brother’s cheeks burn a bright red, “sister! That is inappropriate,” his eyes remained on the ceiling, afraid to look at her.

“Why? We are twins, we should know each other’s preferences,” oh how she enjoyed teasing her brother, “I will tell you what I prefer.”

“Sister!” The prince turned on his side, his eyes finally meeting his twin’s.

She looked into his eyes as she spoke, “I prefer the dark haired ones.”

Jacaerys whispered her name as he moved closer to her, “we must not say things like that,” his forehead now touched her, “you are betrothed to our uncle,” her reminded his sister.

“And our uncle has dull silver hair,” she whispered in Valyrian, their preferred language when it came to secrets, “it is not fair that everyone does what they please and we hold back,” she reached over, taking his hand into hers.

“I do not wish to sully your honor,” he explained. His sister was now so close he could feel her breathing, “I love you too much to do that.”

“Jace,” she spoke softly, “I would like for you to sully my honor, please.”

The Prince’s hands went to his sister’s cheeks, pulling her into a deep kiss. The two Velaryons had yearned for each other and that kiss for so long, that they both got lost in the affection. The kiss was filled with longing and want, and as they deepened the kiss they held each other as if their life depended on it. The princess had never felt so loved as she did in that moment with her twin, Jace held her tight as the years of yearning spilled into one moment.

Once they pulled away to catch their breath Jacaerys opened his eyes, caressing his sister’s cheek, “I prefer one silver haired girl in particular.”

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

imagine logan seeing you again, pt. 2

logan x reader

summary: In his universe, Logan and you were in love. Then you died. Now he's in a different timeline and you are very much alive.

warning: some deadpool x wolverine spoilers. this takes place after the movie. under 1k words.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

The street was typically crowded for a Wednesday afternoon, but the hot dog in your hand lathered away all the annoyance from being shoulder checked every so often. The first bite awakened your entire body, and you felt amorous joy. It was a mild weather day and Wade had given you the task of entertaining his new roommate. Logan stood in front of you, seemingly annoyed at the way you were ignoring him and making love to the wiener in your mouth.

“You eat like a pig.”

“Oink…oink…” you murmured, finishing the dog with another anxious bite. He looked disgusted and you amused, as he checked his watch. “Stop acting like you have somewhere to be, you have nothing going on in your life at the moment.”

“Aren’t you a bed of roses.”

Ignoring him, you wiped your hands off and tossed away the napkins. “So, I personally think this is a major waste of time since I gather, you’d rather just hit up a local bar and gorge yourself into oblivion. But I told Laura I’d at least try to get you to do something fun.”

Logan, being the ray of sunshine he was, grunted but then asked how the young girl was doing. “You didn’t have to take her in.”

The two of you starting, well, just walking. There was no real plan for the day, you just picked up Logan from Wade’s apartment and told the Wolverine he was going on a little walk. Like the good little doggy he was – of course, he didn’t appreciate that last bit, but he didn’t object to the idea.

“I honestly don’t mind. It’s nice having a roommate, she’s quiet though. She’s teaching me Spanish, so that’s nice. Are you hungry?”

“You just had a hot dog.”

“It’s called an appetizer, Logan…I know a really good burger place nearby.”

He said nothing and the two of you fell into a silent pace, Logan feeling beside himself. Even a bit ashamed for stealing glances your way. You looked just like her, you – it was confusing and ultimately, he wasn’t sure what to feel. At the party, he thought he felt something and when he saw you afterwards – helping Laura settling into your apartment, it had killed him. Seeing you happy, like you always wanted. In a small apartment, instead of a huge mansion with no privacy. The X-Men were your family but there had been plenty of times when you had confessed to Logan for some peace and quiet. It wasn’t like you wanted to abandon the school, the people you loved – you just wanted a place for Logan and you. As he watched that day, moving things around for Laura, he felt peace. At least, in this universe, you got what you wanted.

“Logan?”

He apologized. “Burger sounds good.”

The man looked conflicted, and you wanted to make a funny comment, observation but something in you decided not to. Instead, you stole little peeks, he wasn’t as old as the Logan from this world, but he had some miles on him. He wasn’t exactly hard to look at either with that whole hard ass guise to him. Wade had highly under played Logan’s attractiveness and what a petty bitch he was. This thought made you chuckle loud enough to gain a look from your companion. He asked what was so funny, you said nothing.

“So, what are your plans now that you’re anchored here?”

“That would be the million-dollar question.”

“I could hook you up with an old team of mine?”

“Absolutely not.”

You began to rattle off different occupations Logan could take up – line cook, bounty hunter, librarian. The latter piqued your interest a little too much with the mere thought of Logan wearing studious glasses and a gray knit sweater making you warm. “I would definitely read more.”

He laughed, maybe even smiled. “Not a fat chance.”

“A girl could try,” you shrugged, nodding ahead. The diner was in view and Logan followed you across the street. He opened the door, and you thanked him, slightly embarrassed that you were feeling some type of way. Horny? Yikes. Maybe. It had been a while and you hardly knew Logan but that might have been the thrill. Feeling silly, you lead the man to a booth in the corner and you settled across from him. The waitress came over and slipped menus to each of you. Logan asked for a coffee while he gazed down at the limited selection of food, and you asked for a Diet Coke. You watched Logan curiously, trying to guess what he’d ordered. He didn’t seem like the type to be experimental with his meals. So, a burger combo would be the best guess and you were completely right. When the waitress came back to take your orders, Logan ordered a burger combo while you asked for a BLT. He thanked the woman and relaxed against the vinyl booth, looking out the window as people walked by.

“Is it different?”

He answered with a quick no, and you apologized for repeatedly asking that. “It’s just crazy to think about other universes, other versions of ourselves out there. Would it be weird to ask if I looked the same?”

Logan stared at you and felt his heart sink. You were beautiful, you were but he could see the differences between the woman he loved and the woman in front of him. Your eyes were filled with energy, hair a lighter tone in color, skin darker – it was like he was seeing an inverted version of the you he knew. Here, in this world, you seemed more carefree, and he was happy about it. Back home, all you ever did was worry. He never really saw you truly happy and he wondered if it was because he had loved you. In this fuck of a place, Logan and you had never interacted. Your paths never crossed and maybe that’s why you were so content. He managed an uncomfortable smile and shrugged. “Pretty much the same.”

Your face fell as the waitress arrived with the drinks. Logan took his and sipped the coffee, hoping you’d move on. It had taken much effort to even look at you now, his heart racing so fast he wanted nothing more to do than leave. Like a coward, run away. It would be so much easier than facing whatever look was in your eyes – what answer did you want? What did you want to hear? Logan felt like somehow you knew the truth and that this was all just a ploy to extract it from him but then you smiled, and a nerve was hit. A good one that had Logan glancing out the window.

“I was hoping I’d have green hair or something,” you laughed lightly. “Oh, well. Green isn’t really my color.  Listen, thanks for being such a good sport in all this. For that, how about I take you out for some beers tomorrow night? Unless you got something going on? Which we both know you don’t.”

No.

If he wanted to be a good person with his second chance he was given, that’s what he should have said. No drinks, no weird lunches, no stolen glances. He should have never agreed to even see you again, if he really wanted to change then he would have said no. In fact, he should slowly ease himself out of this friendship you were trying to establish, because what good could come of it? Everyone he loves always dies, his version of you did. Right in his arms, the last thing you felt was his warm embrace. That thought alone should have sent him packing but your eyes on him – understanding, the way your fingers played with the straw from your drink in anticipation and the friendly smile on your face, it was too much for Logan. How could he resist?

Was this a form of self-torture?

If so, he was in, but he was going to need a buffer.

“A few beers sound great, but only one condition.”

Surprised, you agreed. “Anything.”

Logan sighed. Deeply. “As much as this pains me, you gotta invite numb nuts.”

.............

leave comment for a tag. (I tagged those from the OG post who seemed interested in seeing a second part)

@pushingdaisies1 @johnnysilverhandeeznuts @murderhousemuse

@carolinameinicke @abysswhiskey11 @weallhaveadestiny

@cosmiccandydreamer @airwolf92 @fidgetingbee

@bananarepublic58 @ilove-sexydilfsnmilfs @an-tkc @wotcherboo

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@britthiddlesbatch @doradora8008 @aheadfullofsteverogers

@erikaafernns @justkennadi @tinalbion @tomukit

[moonydustx]

Can I be your favorite?

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x F!Reader

Summary: In search of information, Law meets an archaeologist who brings all his insecurities and jealousies to the surface. Warnings: porn with practically no plot, explicit content, smut, jealousy, possessiveness, almost declarations of love. Law and F!Reader already have a "relationship" (depending on your point of view, it could even be part of A not so funny story). Despite bringing some canonical details, it diverges a little from the story. A/N: a few days ago an edit with this song appeared on my fy and it just stuck in my head and this idea came to me. Minors do not interact | +18 only

Requests open | one piece masterlist

Law seemed increasingly interested in the search for the Poneglyphs. It was the third island you visited that he knew where to find certain information. This time, only you and him disembarked from Polar Tang, the justification was that it would be something quick, just finding an informant.

You just didn't expect such information to be with an archaeologist. A beautiful, blonde and hot archaeologist. Law had already told you about her and how fame preceded her, how she liked to use men to her advantage and pleasure. That immediately set off an alert in your mind.

"What is she doing here?" was the first thing the woman said when she saw you entering the bar, which was the meeting point. "From what I remember, I said I would exchange the information in exchange for you coming alone, Mr. Surgeon of Death."

"You'd trade the information for money, Arine." he corrected her. "She's the strategist of my crew, I need her in these types of meetings."

The woman turned her nose in your direction and took Law by one of her arms, leading him into the bar. Just by the atmosphere of the place you knew that the woman had a certain influence there. Glances – both drawn and protective – danced around Arine. In a way, it made you feel out of place, it was as if you had the wrong clothes, the wrong hair, everything wrong, just a mere figure following the two of them.

At one of the tables further back, the woman sat down, almost merging her body with Law's, forcing you to sit on the opposite side. You even tried to avoid it, but her meek tone of voice and the hands that made a point of touching Law in every gap made a gray cloud of jealousy appear in you. As much as you ended your nights in the captain's room and were woken up by his kisses, you knew that nothing had been established. He was free to even be with the disgusting blonde in front of you.

Law, on the other hand, noticed the ignorance of the woman in your direction. The unwanted touches on him, Arine's provocative voice, but the information she brought matched what he was looking for, besides the fact that if he disagreed with the woman and ended up getting into an argument he would be putting both of you at risk.

"So..." the blonde's voice sounded more irritating than usual. "I don't believe you came just looking for information. The island is huge, I believe there is a favorite thing for you to do." even from across the table, you could see her throw her legs over Law's. "Or someone's favorite."

"My favorite thing here is you and the information you can give." he spoke harshly, immediately noticing the unfortunate choice of words.

That was the limit for you. Okay, there was no way she could know the history between the two of you, but you weren't obligated to watch Law make the slightest effort to get out of that situation. Your hands slammed harder than you expected against the table as soon as you stood up, attracting both of their attention.

"I'm going to get a drink." your eyes remained fixed on Law's and soon you turned your back to both of them.

Law could read the jealousy in your eyes as soon as you walked away, he knew he would need to invest his time in correcting it. He watched Arine get up and call you. He could have sworn you would kill the woman right then and there.

"You there." Arine poked your shoulder. "Get a drink..." she started, speaking louder so everyone would think everything was okay. "And get out of here. I believe that my Law is not very comfortable in the presence of his employees. You are hindering my efforts to taste him."

"What?" your voice came from your lips in disbelief. It wasn't possible that you were listening to that, as much as you wanted to finish her off, your priority was to help Law with the Poneglyphs. "Yes ma'am."

You turned your back on her and went to the bar, ordering a dose of whatever strong shit they could offer you. You wanted to disappear, just erase your mere and insignificant existence at that moment. A hand touched your waist and you looked hopeless. Just another asshole in that place.

Law watched Arine return, with a malicious smile on her lips and throw her body on top of him again. His body tensed with hatred at each touch from the woman. You wouldn't touch him like that in public, why would she have any right?

"Where do we stop?" she asked and before Law could respond, he watched a man approach you and touch your waist.

"I need to go." Law started to get up, but was stopped by the woman.

"Don't worry about your pet, my man will take good care of her. Even simple little things like her deserve a good night." Arine said close to his ear. "I have a hotel a few meters away, we can have our good night there."

Law only lasted a few seconds of the woman speaking, while the scene unfolded in front of him. The man remained glued to you, his hand remained on your waist but the disgust was clear in your eyes. Law was tired of it. He turned towards Arine and, pretending to fall for her charms, he ran his hand down the woman's leg.

"Is he your trusted man?"

"The best I have." she replied, proud of finally making Law give in. "Your little pet will like it." His hands went down to Arine's calves and as soon as he reached the small dagger he had seen hidden in her boot, he pulled it out and stuck it on the table. Soon after, Law allowed his powers to create a blue beam on his hand and the sharp object.

"Get him away from her now." Law snapped. Anyone watching from afar would never have imagined that he was about to kill a man. "I'd hate to have this show up instead of his necklace."

The woman whistled and snapped her finger twice and the man released you immediately, to Law's relief. Maybe you weren't the only person who let yourself be consumed by jealousy.

"You value your pet too much."

Law took the knife from the table and brought it to the girl's throat, noticing that the bar immediately stopped to watch them.

"Keep her out of your damn mouth." Law threw the dagger on the table and took out a small bag of berris from his pocket. "Our treaty ends here."

"It is a shame." the woman handed him a small card. By damn irony, it was the same hotel you two were at. "Come see me if you change your mind."

Law left the woman talking to herself and looked around the bar. You were gone. He considered returning the dagger to the woman's throat and asking if she had anything to do with it, but something told him no. The only answer he had was that you had gone to your base point, the hotel.

After flirting, asking you to go somewhere else and even threatening you because the man had a "job to do", just like that the man let you go. Trying not to understand the situation and moving away from that madhouse that was the bar, Arine and all the idiots involved, you returned to the hotel.

The first thing you did was take off your shoes. Why get ready for a damn meeting? Just Arine's presence made it clear that you were no match. You couldn't stop thinking about where Law could be, what the two of them could be doing. "My only favorite thing here is you" Law's words were still echoing in your mind when you heard a few knocks on the door.

Without bothering to think, you opened it, finding Law apparently without much patience.

"Are you ok?" he asked, entering the room.

The hurt consumed you and seemed to suffocate the angry words that surfaced and died in your lack of courage. But despite everything, he was still there and not with her.

"May I ask why you're pouting?" Law closed the door behind him, watching you cross the room and sit on the bed.

The sight of you with your arms crossed and a pout - just like a tantruming child - was cute but it was clear that something was bothering you and Law knew exactly what it was. He just wanted to press your buttons and see how far your hatred for Arine would go or if something had actually happened and he would need to start a hunt.

"I'm not pouting." As much as you wanted to go on a silence strike, you knew it would be immature - and maybe even wrong.

"Now you're doing even more." a barely audible laugh left his lips. The man placed Kikoku against the door and started to watch you. "I think I have a hunch what this is about."

"Of course, dear Arine must have told you." the venom in your voice gave away everything Law needed to know.

"Why did you disappear? Did that idiot do something?"

"I hated that place." you just responded, finding Law looking at you in a worried way.

"Not what I asked."

"Long story short, he wanted to fuck me, but I'm not that good."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Captain, I don't want to talk about it." You stood up, heading towards the door but a hand stopped you from continuing. "Besides, you should be wasting time with Arine."

"Are you really going to fall for her conversation?"

"I heard you." you just said. "Your favorite girl, in fact, she's the one who asked me to leave. You wouldn't feel comfortable with her "tasting" you in front of your employees." you imitated her tone of voice.

The cynicism in your voice as well as the bright line in the waterline of your eyes created an alert in the doctor's mind. Perhaps Arine's manipulation had gone too far, Law was beginning to consider it a bad idea to have given in - or at least pretended - that the woman's charms didn't even come close to what you did to him. His hand let go of yours, only to let you reach the door. Before your hand touched the doorknob, it was covered by Law's, which locked the door. He needed to make it up to you and he didn't want to be interrupted by it.

"Please don't do that. I hated her as much as you did." he turned you around, coming face to face with you. "There's no need to be jealous. What can I do to make it up to you?"

"I don't know." you let your face fall to the side his hand touched you, appreciating the small gesture. Law could manipulate you however he wanted, you would gladly accept it. "I just wanted to be pretty like her. You know, be your favorite."

Law could have replied that you were the most beautiful woman there - and for him, in all the seas, but he preferred other methods to convince you. Not allowing much time for you to continue mumbling, his body pressed against yours, his hand cupped your face and his lips collided with yours. His tongue passed under your lips, causing you to open them and give Law space to take you. It was like a fight for air and to ward off all those bad feelings that night had brought you. Impetuously Law invaded your mouth, purred against your lips, finally after that horrible night he could take you.

Your hands reached his shirt and unbuttoned it button by button, throwing it to some deserted corner of the small room. Wetness accumulated in your intimacy as you allowed your hands to pass over Law's abdomen, going down until you found a hard volume. Your fingers began to press against him, drawing small patterns on the tip of his dick.

"Do you want to taste it? You know, only you can." he whispered, hearing a please escape your lips. "Get on your knees."

You promptly followed his orders. Feeling your hands itch, you placed them on his thighs and allowed your lips to run along the coarse fabric of his jeans. In your field of vision you can see two tattooed hands unbuttoning the piece without any rush. Law watched your lips change the fabric of your jeans for the black underwear that covered them.

"Are you that eager?" again, the same low tone, the same teasing behind his voice.

His cock appeared in your field of vision and in a slow counterpoint to your anxiety, your tongue just slowly slid along its entire length, from base to tip. One of your hands reached the base, giving you space to cup his balls in your lips. Law's hand that was holding him against the door went down to his cock, taking it from your lips.

"Don't be mean." He pointed the tip at you, sliding it over your lips. "Do you remember how to ask it to stop?" He took one of your hands and placed it on his leg again. Two beats: a pause for breath, three beats: stop immediately.

You just nodded, opening your mouth and batting your eyelashes in Law's direction. The innocent look, the anxiety that was clear in you, the invasion was sudden, Law had already put up with too much of your provocation. His hand joined your hair, pushing you against the wall as he thrust deep into your throat, starting slowly and quickly increasing the speed.

"Is that what you want?" the tattooed fingers got even more tangled in your hair "It's only yours, take it all in"

The air seemed increasingly rarefied and your eyes stung with some involuntary tears at the same time you could feel your panties getting even wetter and your voice producing involuntary moans, your body reacted to the grunts coming from the man above you. Your eyes met Law's and you found one of the most beautiful scenes you had ever seen. A little sweat accumulated on his face, his chest rose and fell euphorically and his eyes focused on you. As if it were still possible, Law, noticing your gaze lost in theirs, stuck his dick even deeper into your throat.

"Fucking beautiful." he murmured, taking his dick out of you and watching you catch your lost breath. With his hands still stuck in your hair, he pulled you to your feet again. "The most beautiful woman, all mine."

One of the few remaining tears ran down your face and you felt it burn even more when Law slid his tongue over your cheek, licking it and erasing it from existence. All mine his voice whispered again. Leaving his clothes - and consequently you - behind, Law walked to the bed, sitting down and looking at you from afar. Even with the distance you could still see Law lost after you sucked him. His eyes danced over your body.

"Come here, take off your clothes for me, please." damn it. Hearing Law ask you for something silly, eyes still shining from watching you suck him was a little too much for you. You walked over to him, stopping between the man's legs. The first thing you took off was your blouse, followed shortly by the skirt and panties you were wearing.

"And you still ask if you're my favorite." Law murmured something that you suspected was just his thought, still trapped in a trance.

"Am I?" you used the same teasing tone he usually used, as he had just a few minutes ago. Your legs passed through Law's body, wrapping around his waist. Using equal strength for both of you, Law pulled you and lay down on the bed. “Law…” your warning tone appeared as you saw him pull you away from his dick, towards his face.

"My favorite, my only, the most beautiful..." he listed unpretentiously "What do you need to understand?" He started kissing your thighs, which were already around his cheeks. "Let me prove it to you."

Law pulled your hips down, your pussy falling over his lips. You had to suppress a scream when you felt his tongue travel all over your vulva, stopping at your clit. His hands settled on your thighs as you tried to roll against him, looking for more friction. The suppressed screams soon began to escape your lips in low moans every time you felt him slide his tongue inside you.

Law was usually methodical, he took as long as he needed to make you cum but now it was different. You could feel your even wetter pussy while Law grunting beneath you as squeezed you even tighter and sucked your clit without worrying about the mess made on his face. The precipice seemed just seconds away when he stopped, taking you off of him and placing you back on his hips. His lips were dripping with your honey as was his chin and your legs were still shaking from the orgasm that was behind you. Law's hand went up to his hair and took off the last piece of clothing on his body: the hat, placing it on your head.

"You know you are mine, just mine, just as I am yours." his hands slid over your breasts, going down and pulling your hips, fitting your entrance to his cock. "Ride me, take what's yours."

"Fuck Law." you moaned softly, feeling every inch of him fill you.

You could feel wet, but it was never enough when Law entered you. When you reach the base of his dick, you can feel him grunting along with you, his hands tightening the skin of your ass even more as his hips press into you.

You started slowly, your hands resting on Law's chest while your hips rose and fell millimeters, not wanting to move away from the feeling of being filled by him, of having every inch of your pussy filled. As the speed increased, your moans began to echo throughout the room and one of your hands involuntarily went up to your mouth, covering it.

"No, babe." Law pulled your hand and, with the other, held your two arms behind your back. "We're not in Polar Tang, I want to be able to hear you scream, at least today."

His feet planted themselves on the bed and Law began to move his hips against yours. He thrust hard, the noise of bodies coming together was as loud as your moans and you could also hear the words coming out louder and louder from his lips.

"Your little pussy is squeezing me so much, so good." He used one of his hands to find your breast, squeezing the nipple between his fingers and hearing you scream.

"Harder, please love." the word that escaped your lips worked as fuel for Law.

The hand holding your hands let go and your body fell against his chest. One of Law's tattooed hands got tangled in your hair while the other circled your back and attached itself to your waist. Sweet whispered nothings and screams of pure pleasure echoed throughout the room, leaving your lips and falling into Law's ears like pure delight.

"Fuck, cum for me babe" Law's lips found the sensitive spot below your ear. "I want to see my girl soak me."

The words were enough for you to feel your vision turn white and your body soften in Law's arms, while you used his name as a mantra. Without waiting for you to recover, Law held you on his lap, still inside you and took you to the nearest wall, starting to thrust into you mercilessly again.

"It's too much, please."

"Just a little more." Law murmured, his face stuck in the back of your neck, biting every piece of exposed skin. "Just give me one more."

"Damn, right there." Your voice was thin and broken, almost inaudible. Law hit the right spot inside you and in your limited field of vision, you could see the red tone on Law's skin just below your nails. "L-Law! I'm feeling something... Damn Law!"

Law could feel his dick getting wet as he watched you having a squirt that from your reaction he believed was the first time. His name sounded like the hottest thing he had ever heard and when he saw your pussy gushing he couldn't control himself and came, filling you with his seed, that would be a worry for later.

"I-I..." you started to speak to even that seemed too much for you, and you just let your head fall on his shoulder.

Feeling your body weak, Law guided you back to the bed, allowing you to lie against his body. The tattooed hands drew something invisible on your skin and your breathing was labored. "The wall... the neighbors..." you tried to list, still feeling weak. When you looked up to see if Law was listening to you, you found him smiling mischievously. "What are you thinking?"

"I heard we have an interesting neighbor here at the hotel." the pieces fell into place, making your face burn in embarrassment.

"She's going to hate me, even more."

"If it helps you, she already hated you." Law explained, caressing your cheek. "In the bar, she was the one who told that guy to talk to you."

"Ah, that doesn't make me feel any better. You mean a guy only hit on me because she asked?"

"What does that mean?" He seemed indignant and you quickly tried to correct yourself.

"I was already feeling ugly, that didn't make it much better."

"Do you need one more to understand how beautiful you are?" you knew exactly what Law was telling you about and you felt your face burn with shyness. "She's just a frustrated person, don't worry about anything she told you."

"Sour, damn blonde." you mumbled, earning a laugh from Law, who whispered your name softly, catching your attention.

"You know you're the only one, right?" he asked and you nodded. "And that you are amazing and beautiful."

"You're also the only one." his eyes followed your smile, as you snuggled into him. "And incredible, beautiful, strong. If I keep listing them, I'll end up putting you to sleep." you laughed, seeing Law acquire a more serious expression. "A coin for your thought"

"I-I... I lo..." he could remember what you had called him, he knew very well the feelings he had for you, but it seemed so difficult to bring them to the surface.

He still remembered when he allowed himself to actually feel that way for someone and watch those people leave him. Law knew he couldn't bear to see you go through the same thing. Taking him out of his daydreams and the speech stuck on his lips, you reached out to reach Law's forehead and place a small kiss, before then cuddling up to him again.

"I know. And so do I." you had your own fears, your own traumas and fears, you understood his fear.

For now it would be better this way, if your love remained between the two of you.

[saintsenara]

Hi saintsenara, I’d like to know your thoughts on the Trace etc because you always seem to have a a really lucid and informed perspective of, well, everything

I never liked how the Ministry and Hogwarts are able to automatically and infallibly detect muggleborns. I feel like the ramifications of that aren’t properly dealt with but I also think that it’d be more interesting and plausible if muggleborns had to be looked for.

I also feel like the Trace is dealt with very strangely. When is that integrated? Is it just automatic for muggleborn students or would the school’s representative (ie. Dumbledore for Tom and McGonagall for Hermione ) place it? If they can place these restrictions on children remotely then why couldn’t they for, say, Death Eaters or Sirius Black? It doesn’t make sense to me that there is anything about the Trace that would make it only applicable to underage wizards and witches. If they need to do something to the children to place the Trace then why can’t they do that with all Azkaban inmates as a preventative measure? Is it simply too outrageous to do that to adult wizards? Is the Trace too easily broken? If the Trace is easily breakable then the Order would’ve broken it for Harry in Deathly Hallows, wouldn’t they?

The lack of thought enrages me!

the thing which has to be borne in mind with the trace is that its narrative purpose is primarily as a coming-of-age experience - it's the threshold which wizarding teenagers need to cross to become legal adults.

and not only this, it's primarily an allusion to the real life coming-of-age experience which defines [or, certainly, which defined in the 2000s, gen z are famously more abstemious] british and irish teenage life...

becoming old enough to legally drink.

when i was a teenager, eighteenth birthdays were a big deal precisely because of the opportunities they afforded to get legally boozed. i was in the supermarket at 10am on mine, passport in hand, buying a disgusting bottle of own brand vodka [which i don't think i or any of my friends ever touched] just because i could.

but the word "legally" is important in this context. because, while the legal drinking age in the uk and ireland is eighteen... that doesn't mean that most teenagers wait until then for their first sip. and nobody - adults in positions of authority such as police, teachers, social workers, doctors etc. included - thinks they do.

and that's because the law is actually more ambiguous than it seems. in the uk, it's legal for children as young as five to drink alcohol in a private residence [!]. in england, scotland, and wales [but not northern ireland], sixteen year olds can legally drink some types of alcohol in licensed premises as long as they're eating a meal.

as a result, the legal penalties for underage drinking are basically non-existent [for the drinker, that is; they can be reasonably hefty for anyone caught selling to under 18s]... if there's nothing else in play which might attract the state's attention.

or: i went to a house party at a friend's when i was fifteen, drank a bottle of rose, broke up with my boyfriend, and ended up sobbing in her garden at the top of my lungs about how men are dogs at 2am, and was then sick.

this friend and i were both white, grammar-school-educated, generally-perceived-as-sensible teenage girls, whose families were well-known and well-liked. the neighbours, seeing me having an absolute flop of a night, could say "ah, the folly of youth, we were all young once, the lasses are in high spirits etc. etc."

but without the protection afforded by social acceptability, maybe they'd have interpreted the situation very differently, and called the police or contacted social services about my friend's mam letting us drink there, or so on.

the trace functions in the same way. the actual law on underage magic - that it's totally illegal - is obviously nonsense. we know in canon that children in wizarding households can use magic before they're seventeen, because - as dumbledore says - the ministry is happy to trust their parents to regulate them doing so.

that is, in families which have the standing afforded by conformity to social convention [especially in living separately from muggles], underage magic can be seen as all a bit of a laugh.

but muggleborns are viewed in the eyes of the state as risks, until they reach adulthood and - in all the cases we meet in canon - remove themselves from the world of their birth entirely. the ministry's main aim - the thing it's preoccupied with - is preventing muggles from learning that magic exists. therefore, anyone magical who lives in a muggle household is subject to much more surveillance than those who don't.

[if the weasley twins do magic in the burrow's garden, who cares? if harry does it in the middle of little whinging, countless muggles might see!]

when it comes to how muggleborns are detected, i actually quite like the extra-canonical information jkr has given about the quill of acceptance and the book of admittance [which is on pottermore]. where i don't agree with it is that i don't think all muggleborns are admitted to hogwarts.

i've said a few times - and, for my askbox girlies, i will write the longer meta on this, i promise - that i think hogwarts applies some form of selection process, which explains why the class-status of the intake [including the muggleborn students we meet in canon] is near-uniform.

as a result, i think that muggleborn students are looked for - they're observed and vetted to make sure they'll fit in at hogwarts - and the interview they have with the deputy head is the final stage in that process.

when they're accepted to hogwarts [or when they actually start at the school, to give hermione the summer of trying spells she mentions in philosopher's stone] i think it's fair to imagine that the trace comes into effect, but that it's only ever going to cause alarm at the ministry if it's broken when students - of any background - are in muggle areas.

which means very little for wizard-raised students - who can do magic at home whenever they want - but restricts the freedom of muggleborn ones.

when it comes to restricting adult magic... we know - because sirius mentions it in prisoner of azkaban - that inmates are deprived of their wands. jkr has retconned how possible magic is without a wand in her post-series writing, but the evidence of canon is that all but the most basic, unsophisticated magic is impossible without one.

losing access to a wand - and, therefore, losing access to magic - is how the state restricts adults' use of magic [which is what happens to hagrid when he acquires his criminal record for manslaughter]. and this is actually a more strictly enforceable and much harsher punishment - it's basically the permanent deprivation of the wizarding world's fundamental marker of liberty - than the trace, which, while it is enshrined in law, basically amounts to nothing more than a fairly loosely-enforced social barrier between childhood and adulthood for 90% of the population.

[bangchansslut6]

BIMBO!!

PART ONE OUT OF THREE.

Okay so I'm finally writing this fic!! I want to warn you guys that it won't be the best and probably won't make much sense so I'm sorry for that!! Hope you enjoy!! ♡♡

BIMBO - An attractive but stupid woman (To all my big titty bimbos out there😮‍💨

FUTURE WARNINGS ~ SMUT, Readers father is a disgusting person, reader is a bimbo, reader is a female, reader has big breasts and is called blondie multiple times. Use of slut, bunny, idiot, spit, light choking, clit spanking twice, face sitting, multiple rounds. Chan is referred to as Chris and made him a little freak...Reader gets cat called but Chan is there to save the day. Chan is apart of a gang. DRUGS, ALCOHOL. Chris and Izumi are broken up but get back together. Cheating?? They have a baby together called Ayum. Enjoy!!

CONTEXT

Chris was your ex boyfriend. Why was he your ex? Because your family didn't approve of him. Chris was a "gangster" he rode motorcycles, spray painted, people were scared of him. And when you were younger you had made the mistake of dating him. Since your family didn't like him you left him without explaining which left Chris furious and lonely.

Chris had knocked you up at the first few months of your relationship so when you broke up you had shared custody. Together you had a son called Ayum. He took after Chris a lot. There were bearly signs of you in him but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Chris had Ayum on weekends while you had him during the week. Which made it impossible to avoid eachother.

WEDNESDAY EVENING

It was a late Wednesday night. Chris invited some friends to his house for a drink and a smoke. When they were all completely wasted they started watching some porno type movie. The usual.

"Oi Chris! Howsss..Y/n's new boyfriend?" Said Felix one of Chris's friends making everyone else laugh at how wasted he was. But Chris wasn't laughing.

"Like I care what she does. They look ridiculous together. Plus I heard he's an ass. And he probably can't handle the whole of her." Chris mumbled under his breath taking a swing of his drink. He told himself all the time that he hated you. But in reality. He was a liar.

"Someone sounds jealous-" Changbin poked the bear with a teasing tone. "I'm not drop the topic." Chris barked loudly making everyone flinch. Damm it. He most definitely still had feelings for her. But how could he not?! He had to see her every weekend. And she was hot..like really hot.

FRIDAY EVENING

The house smelled of men's shampoo and colone. Chris had just gotten out from the shower and was now walking around the house while drying his hair. The sound of his naked feet padding against the oak floor the only sound in the house.

The loud noise of Chris's doorbell stopped the peaceful silence. "Perfect." He grumbled rolling his eyes and throwing a tank top on while approaching the door.

When he opened it he saw you standing there one hand holding a baby bag another hand holding Ayumi. "Look who it is? My little blondie?" Chris laughed leaning against the door.

3RD PERSON POV

Y/N stood infront of the dark wooden door. She'd just drop off Ayumi and move on with her day. This was absolutely nothing..she told herself. You are a grown woman..control yourself.

As the door opened her eyes instantly drifted to the man's abs..she was just a woman though.

"Firstly don't call me that. And yes I'm here to drop off your daughter. Nothing else." Y/N said handing Chris the tiny Elza backpack and then Ayumi. "You know the drill call if you need anything and she has everything in the bag okay?" She added crossing her arms.

"Got it. Also what's with the attitude this morning eh? Your man got your nerves popping?" Chris smirked leaning against the door frame.

"That's absolutely none of your business. Now I'm leaving. I'll pick her up on Monday morning. Goodbye." Y/N scoffed saying her last goodbyes to her tiny angel before walking off. Her hips swaying behind her as Chris's eyes trailed down and up her body. Goddamit she was still hot. Why him? And why did he have a boner now..?

Oh he was still such

An

ASS

I am literally the worst writer ever!! I'm SO SORRY about making the wait so long and the first part not even having any smut!! 😭😭 I'm so sorry for the disappointment and I'll try to write part 2 faster!! Once again I APOLOGISE!!

[archangeldyke-all]

reader & Sevika start as co-stars on a netflix series (fans are shipping them bc their press run chemistry is amazing) and they actually end up together irl? sorry if this is a lot 😭😭

aweeeee

men and minors dni

like imagine before you realize you've got feelings for sevika, your manager keeps asking "is there something going on between you guys?? because i need to know before the press finds out!!"

and you're like what???

because you're starring as co stars in a romantic movie, sure, and sevika's been a celebrity crush of yours for years, but you're both professionals!

and just because you guys have amazing chemistry and have become great friends off set doesn't mean you're in love with each other or anything... right?

and then your manager sends you a youtube link to some fan compilations of you and sevika 'being in love for twenty two minutes straight'

you watch it. clip after clip after clip of you and sevika laughing together and sharing inside jokes and nudging and flirting with each other during press interviews.

at first you just roll your eyes. when the cameras are rolling, you and sevika are working. obviously you guys are acting flirty and couple-y, you're selling a rom com.

but then, ten minutes in, a title card flashes. it reads, 'now for the good stuff.' you blink, and then a cropped and zoomed clip of a red carpet interview of a completely different celebrity pops up.

the audio is just the reporter and actor talking, but in the background with the way the editor's cropped the video, you can clearly see you and sevika at a bar, cheersing then downing tequila shots. sevika takes it like a champ, but she giggles and rubs your back as you suck on your lime and cringe in disgust at her.

the video cuts to another clip. footage from a 'behind the scenes' video following the crew on the set of your movie. again, the video's been cropped to only focus on you and sevika running lines in the background. sevika stumbles over her words and you burst into laughter. she scoffs and punches your shoulder, then quickly rubs it when you pout at her.

the next clip is the same-- you and sevika in the background of some video. except in this one, you're chattering away and sevika's nodding along, and the whole time her eyes are on your lips. when she licks her own lips as you babble, your stomach flips over.

oh shit. you totally like sevika.

your manager almost kills you.

"i told you to tell me if there was something going on between you two!"

"but nothing's going on between us, marge, that's what i'm trying to tell you! i just... you sent me that video and it made me realize that, you know. maybe i wouldn't mind if there was something going on between us." you say.

marge heaves a horribly dramatic sigh down the receiver.

the next time you see sevika, you're stiff and awkward.

she pulls you to the side between interviews.

"what the fuck's goin' on with you?" she asks. you blink at her.

"what?" you ask.

"you're brushing me off. you keep acting all jittery and weird around me. for fuck's sake, you're not even looking at me right now!" she says.

sevika looks really upset. your stomach drops.

"i'm sorry. i didn't mean to make you feel like i'm ignoring you or something." you say, honestly. sevika's anger falls from her face, and all that remains is concern.

"just tell me what's up." she whispers. you gulp.

"i just. i recently realized something that's. less than ideal." you say. sevika blinks at you.

"what?"

"uh. i think i have a crush on you." you admit. sevika blinks again.

"what?!" she asks. you sigh

"i know. i'm sorry, it's unprofessional and gross. i mean. i've always found you attractive, obviously, and we get along great... but i promise i didn't realize i have actual feelings for you until filming wrapped. i swear." you ramble. sevika scoffs and you shrink in on yourself, looking away from her.

she quickly reaches her hand out to grab yours. "no, hey." she says. you blink up at her. "that's not-- i'm not laughing at that." she rushes out. "i'm just laughing because i've been waiting for the press tour to end so i can finally ask you out." she says, a little blush appearing on her cheeks. you gawk at her.

"what?" you say. sevika chuckles.

"that's what i said." she says. you punch her arm.

"are you serious?" you ask. she nods.

you quickly look around. no one's looking at the two of you. your next interviewer is shuffling through their cue cards, your managers are quietly chatting, a few PAs are checking audio meters and wrapping up wires. you look back at a grinning sevika and bite your lip.

"do you want to get dinner after this?" you whisper. she grins.

"yes." she says. "but we probably shouldn't go out with the press and all. i can cook for you?" she asks. you giggle and nod, and then shoot up to press a quick kiss to her lips.

sevika's giving you heart eyes for the rest of the interviews that day.

marge sends you a viral tweet that night-- a clip of you kissing sevika from earlier in the afternoon, taken on a shaky camera phone.

marge's caption is just a series of angry emojis. you giggle. beside you sevika nudges you.

"what's so funny?" she grunts. you show her the clip and she grins. "thank fuck. now i can take you out in public." she says.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity

[dalekofchaos]

Chloe Price is a lesbian

Every now and then I see people headcanon Chloe as Bi or pan. While that isn't bad, I just have to strongly disagree and I would just ignore people's opinions I disagree with. Then I see some disgusting people shipping Chloe with David, Nathan, Frank and Damon and....I just have to make this post.

Chloe Price is a lesbian. There is no evidence of her being interested in men. People can experiment and then realize they are gay and only interested in one specific gender. Just like Willow Rosenberg is a lesbian.

“But Joyce said Chloe had a boytoy phase and had condoms” Joyce is an idiot. Also, that really confirms that it was nothing ever really serious for Chloe. most lesbians dated/kissed/fucked guys before realizing they had no REAL attraction to guys or accepting that. Compulsory heterosexuality guys. If she really feels attraction to guys than yes she is bi but there is a possibility she was with guys because she didn’t realized she had no attraction to them or didn’t accept that.

As for condoms. Condoms aren’t used just on guy’s dicks, they can be used on sex toys to have safe sex with cis girls too (btw yes you can get stds by sharing sex toys in sex without using condoms or sharing the same condom while doing it). and also consider this: trans girls

Before you say Chloe said Jeffershit is “hot for a teacher” gay people can say someone of the opposite sex is attractive, that doesn’t make them Bi or straight. They can see beauty but know they aren’t really attracted, also she was just fucking with Max. You do realize Chloe was fucking with Max, right?

In the scene “boys are so gross”, calls her boy toy phase hella stupid and when max mentions that she couldn’t see Chloe with any of the boys there she says “that’s because you have a good eye” and that she was glad that Rachel had rescued her which to me sounds like a “I thought a had thing for boys and had boy toy phase (as she calls it) but then Rachel made me realize I actually like girls only”

There is literally enough evidence in BTS and LIS to deduce that Chloe Price is interested in girls only. 

in 2015 Ashly Burch said “I think Chloe is sexually fluid. I don’t think she really likes to label herself in any particular way” buuuuuuut

in 2018 in the farewell stream:

“When they read over their predictions Ashly said (in reference to the thing about them each being on their 2nd boyfriend) ‘clearly Chloe hadn’t realized some stuff yet’ lol” (as in she didn’t realized yet that she didn’t like boys and liked girls aka lesbian)

Then in LIS:TC Wavelengths. Chloe says this in Steph's flashback

"Check out all these booths pretending they give a shit about us for one month out of the year."

Vocal confirmation about Chloe's sexuality.

Also Chloe's concept art, you literally couldn't get a more queer answer if Ann Bony rose from the grave and slapped you with a pride flag

I blame DONTNOD/Deck 9 and Square Enix for not allowing Chloe to be more overtly forward with her queerness. To me, Chloe is a butch lesbian and Zak Garriss can go to hell with his "probably gay" bullshit.

Say it with me kids. Chloe Price is a lesbian.

[lesbiansaulgoodman2]

* this is a ramble about the fem eltingville club and is not art related. Sorry if sentences don’t make sense, I just wrote what I was thinking fast lol*

Since I like the idea of the eltingville club being girls, I’ve been thinking of the epilogue- esp for Pete( I’m not changing the names to “fem” ones, not interested). Yeah, women can be disgusting for their own reasons that have nothing to do with misogyny- but when it comes to the p*rn industry, Pete is a double-sided blade y’know. Yes, she would still use mofo to pick up vulnerable girls, but it’s a bit more sinister in my own idea as I think that the girls going into mofo would think they are safe with Pete. Whether Pete is aware of it or not, she does not try to understand the exploitation the women are going through. These women will only realize that Pete is terrible when they try to get her to report against one of the men of mofo- which Pete would brush off as “ well he’s a good guy…you signed up for this….its your fault”. Pete, along with Josh and bill( this is the epilogue, so Jerry was able to overcome her internalized misogyny/ sexist beliefs) do not align themselves with the struggles that women go through. They still strive for male validation- and with Pete mostly having brothers, she does not allow herself to be seen as “girly”. The double sided blade part comes into the disrespectful comments that the men she works with make at her dispense. The men only see her as an object and don’t care if she is like them. I could see Pete being jaded to the hardcore stuff that mofo produces, mostly due to her not wanting to be seen as “sensitive” or “bitchy”. She wants to be seen as the “cool girl” who’s okay w/ extreme gore and r*pe of women, even when the plot is crap. She was most likely hired not only for her knowing multiple horror porn films, but also due to her being entertaining to butchie. I can imagine her going home after working very drained with dealing with people who do not respect her, and most likely knows that she is there just so the men can bring in more girls.

As for Josh and bill, they are more likely the same as their masc counterparts, but I believe that bill would be an hardcore incel (wait so no difference HA)( I hate the term femcel) who’s closeted. I could see Josh also on the incel pathway, but not as much as bill. In general, Josh is the second most redeemable and can change for the better like Jerry has.

As for Jerry, exactly the same- just as an open lesbian ( shocker I know coming from me). I don’t see her as becoming very feminine, but is more so comfortable. In terms of how comfortable the club is with their sexuality- they all know they are attracted to girls. Pete and Jerry being the most open about it in the epilogue ( Pete being objectifying since before due to the content she consumed ), Josh being quiet about it due to feeling like no one can find her attractive, and bill being outwardly homophobic to distract from the fact that she ogles at the women at cons or wherever. They all (Jerry when she was younger) are okay making raunchy comments towards women due to not being seen as serious by others and through roleplay.

* lesbian part is a hc for the girls* *a hc for a hc*

[balkanradfem]

Just watched The Substance and I honest to god can't believe this is considered a 'feminist' movie. Read your analysis and completely agrree. My male co-workers were actually gushing over this movie, they couldnt believe how many times they got to see the main actresses naked and posing sexually for them. If you made a movie for men to masturbate too you've absolutely failed in having a 'feminist' message.

And Sue literally being how incel men picture Hot Girls - getting everything she wants without doing anything, rich and vain, having sex whenever, posing sexually every morning and staring at herself constantly, while having no real personality. Its how a porn-addicted man wishes he could live, not any womens reality. She barely even has any lines in the movie.

Not to mention having Demi Moore be the 'old women' despite having obvious work done and looking nothing like a regular older women. Its like the movie itself was too afraid to actually show a realistically aged women, and when she does start getting gray hair and looking older suddenly shes acting cartoonishly bitter and slobbish. Im so sick of movies having women make disgusting looking food and a huge mess and it all being shown as gross and depressing. Portraying food and eating as disgusting and pigging out when women make it (for themselves, if theyre cooking for a man or kids suddenly its different) is just feeding into misogynistic beliefs, not subverting them.

And the classic, portraying sexist men as very goofy and dumb so they don't offend the male viewers by having an actual relatable man that acts just like them being criticised by the movie for his sexism. Also the whole point where the movie basically acts like if she'd just been able to go on that date with the random guy from school, she wouldve been fine. bc having a boyfriend and a man that says youre the most beautiful is all that a woman needs i guess.

Anyway I absolutely hated this movie. From a horror perspective it did some things very well, but the message was just foul to me. Not to mention the fact that men are now trying to give Margaret Qualley the Sydney Sweeney treatment, bc they got to see her naked, hyper-sexualized, and acting like a little girl infront of powerful men. This movie was the antithesis of what everyone is saying it is imo.

Yes, I remember feeling similar to this when I first watched it. So much of it was catering to the male gaze, so much of it I had to skip because it was pornographic material, the outrage at the woman who looked so young and socially attractive to be presented as 'too-old-looking', I didn't even consider how different she looked to the reality of female aging, I didn't know that much about her. I did think she looked young though!

And you described perfectly my own thoughts about the food! It was presented to us as if it was disgusting, it made me feel insane, it was food! I've never seen any food presented in such a way. I understood later that this part was meant to resonate with women who did see food in this way because of an eating disorder, and to them this looked very normal to how they feel about food, even though this seems terrifying to me, I can't even think about it that way.

You are so right that it's never portrayed like this when a woman is cooking for a family! I didn't even think of that. If she's making meals for others, then it's portrayed as extremely positive, if she's cooking for herself, horrible.

I actually didn't even see the missed date thing as her 'opportunity to be fixed', but you're right! They did depict that male as her last chance to make a human connection and to feel like a human again, as if a single male could resolve this insane amount of struggle she was in.

My conclusion is exactly the same as yours, it is not doing anything it's claiming to do, extremely disappointing as a feminist movie, so much catering to male gaze and awful and horrifying depiction of what women's lives are like.

[darkshelbyfiction]

The Price to Pay (Cillian Murphy Blurb)

Warning: Dubious Consent

When you arrived in New York, at the tender age of eighteen, you never thought that life could be so cruel. You had just completed your freshman year, and an internship at a top-notch talent agency seemed like the perfect opportunity to gain some real-world experience.

You were keen to get your foot in the door of the acting world, having a fondness for drama throughout your adolescence. Who knew that this internship would plunge you into the depths of a depraved, immoral world in which you were nothing more than a plaything for the rich and famous?

"You know how women in this business get ahead, don't you?" your employer , a sleazy, overweight man named Harold, leered at you during your first week at the agency. "It's all about who you know and what you're willing to do for them," he said, suggestively licking his lips and letting his eyes roam freely over your petite figure.

"I am not going to do this kind of thing. I never even had a boyfriend before. This is disgusting!" you told Harold, thinking that this would shut him up but, much to your surprise, a week later, he made you a proposal.

"I have a client who is rather famous . I think he could help boost your career. I just need a small favor in return," he said with a sly smile.

You felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up as your gut twisted in dread.

"What kind of small favor?" you cautiously asked and Harold became rather direct. 

" Well, that client of mine has requested a meeting with you. Unfortunately, he cannot keep his hands off young, attractive girls like yourself and you are most certainly his type. And if you want to get anywhere in this industry, you need to play the game."

"So, you're offering me a choice between my integrity and my career aspirations? That's just great." You muttered, feeling a heavy weight settle in the pit of your stomach.

"Come on Y/N, all you need to do is spread your legs for two hours or so and let him stick  his prick inside you and then you'll be on your way to stardom," Harold said with a drunken grin.

You were disgusted at the thought, but you were also aware of your own naivety. You only had $100 in your bank account, and you couldn't afford to pay your rent or tuition. You knew that if you didn't take this job, you'd be back at square one.

"Okay , I'll do it," you said reluctantly, your voice barely above a whisper, causing Harold to grin triumphally before setting up the date.

"If you see Lisa, she will tell you what to expect. She slept with him a couple of times before to get parts in movies," Harold added and it was indeed what you did. 

Lisa was just one year older than you and had acted in several movies and Cillian was one of them. She too had sex with influential men to get ahead in her career. She looked young, but her eyes held a thousand stories you could never compete with, and you were grateful to have her guidance.

"He was the first guy I ever slept with. I had just turned 18. It was on his 46th birthday and Harold organised it," Lisa began, her voice barely above a whisper.

"And you never had sex before?" you asked Lisa , your voice wavering slightly as you struggled to process this new information.

She chuckled lightly and shook her head. "No, I was as nervous as you are and I think that is what gets him off the most. He likes being the first ," Lisa shared, her voice monotonous and distant. "I slept with him a few times, but the first time was the hardest. I remember staring at the ceiling, feeling his body on top of me and knowing that I could never get that moment back. I was vulnerable, and he knew it. I don't think I even uttered a sound, except for a slight whimper when he pushed in to me."

"God, the pain was unbearable," she continued, her voice low and filled with a heavy dose of shame. "I remember he came inside me, so much so that it ran down my legs and I was so sore the next day that I could barely walk when I auditioned for a show. But I kept my mouth shut," Lisa said, her voice trailing off. "I knew what I had to do to make it in this industry, and I was determined to do whatever it took."

The following day it was your turn to do whatever it took.

The door clicked shut as Harold left you alone in Cillian's luxurious penthouse suite after delivering you there and making the necessary introduction.

The silence was crushing as you took in your surroundings. Your pulse raced, your palms slick with sweat, as you nervously glanced about the elegantly decorated space. A beautifully carved wooden headboard, perfectly positioned to overlook the sparkling skyline, drew your attention, your heart sinking as you realized this is where the violating act would take place.

"Would you like a drink to calm your nerves?" Cillian asked you as you stood there trembeling  , staring at the plush carpet. His voice was smooth and silky, a complete contrast to the rough and raw pontential of what he was about to do to your young, innocent body.

"I-I don't know..." you stuttered, unsure of how to respond as he assessed you, his manhood already straining against the expensive fabric of his trousers.

The idea of a drink repulsed you, but the thought of being alone with him in such an exposed state made your stomach turn. Reluctantly, you nodded, and he waved a hand towards the ornate bar in the corner of the room.

As he poured out a glass of amber liquid, you tried to steady your shaking hands. Liquid courage, that's what you needed. You took a tentative sip and felt the burn of the alcohol course down your throat, warming your trembling body.

"Harold tells me that you just turned eighteen and looking to make a name for yourself in this industry," Cillian said smoothly, his eyes fixed on your slender frame.

You nodded slowly, wondering where this was heading. Your mind raced with questions, but your fear kept you silent.

"Well, if you are good girl for me , I can definitely help you with that," Cillian said, his voice dripping with lewd intentions as he guided you towards the bed .

Your mouth went dry as you tried to shake your head, to protest, but your voice was caught in your throat. You knew what was coming next, and you couldn't stomach it.

"I don't really want to do this ," you stammered, your voice trembling.

"I know, but think of all the opportunities this could bring you, " Cillian purred, inching closer to you before he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"Come on, I will be gentle and promise it won't be that bad, " he whispered, nuzzling your neck.

"It's just, I never had sex before, " you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Even better, " Cillian murmured, his hand reaching up to cup your breast, giving it a squeeze through your dress. "This means that I get to pop that cherry of yours," he told you and you gasped as his other hand slid down your body, making its way beneath your dress.

He slipped his fingers beneath your panties, groaning as he felt your bald , shaved pussy. "Fuck, your hole is tiny," he growled, his fingers now tracing your slit.

"P-please don't do this," you stuttered, feeling tears spill from your eyes as a fresh wave of fear and resistance flooded through you.

"Sshhh, it's alright," he murmured, his mouth suddenly on yours again, kissing you hungrily as his fingers played with your labia. "I know you are scared, but just relax and let it happen."

His words were muffled as he spoke them around your lips and tongue, his fingers now dipping between your folds, exploring you gently and curiously, like a man trying something for the first time.

"Now why don't you take your clothes off for me," he murmured, as he pulled away from your mouth, his oceanic eyes meeting yours.

You hesitated for a moment, your heart pounding in your chest and your hands trembling with fear and anxiety, but the threat of his looming presence, towering over you, made your compliance instinctive.

You undid the buttons of your shirt slowly, his gaze devouring your young body with each piece of clothing you shed and, eventually, all you were wearing was some white cotton panties featuring a small stain of blood from when he had fingered you.

It was that innocence that excited him the most.

"Such a good girl," he praised you, sliding his hand over your collarbone and down your chest. You quivered under his touch, wishing you could disappear. Your fear mingled with disgust as his finger traced the outline of your breast, lingering on your nipple, hardening it. "Harold wasn't wrong. You are a stunning little thing."

Your skin crawled at his words, but you remained frozen, submissive under his touch, too paralyzed with fear to fight back.

He undressed himself quickly, revealing his toned physique, exaggerated by the soft glow of the dimmed lights. He was completely naked now, and you gasped at the size of his manhood.

"Lie down, sweetie," he commanded, and you obeyed and, with a shivering body, laid down on the large bed while he stroked his cock provocatively.

'Spread your legs for me,' he ordered and with a deep breath, you obeyed. You heard him gasp at the sight of your pure, perfect body before him. He noticed your blood-stained panties and his chest heaved at the prospect of claiming your innocence.

"Ah, sweetie, I see your panties are stained from when I fingered that virgin hole of yours. Let's have a look at it, shall we?" he drawled as he reached for the hem of your panties, slowly sliding them down your legs. He paused for a second, marveling at your bare pussy, the folds pink and tight. "Perfect," he murmured as he spread your legs wider, exposing your bleeding slit to the cool air of the room.

He then ran his fingers over your blood soaked slit , causing you to whimper at the intrusive sensation.

"Such a tight little thing you are," he growled as he slipped a finger into your channel, pushing against the barrier of your virginity before pulling it out and wiping it on the sheets.

"It's going to be a snug fit ," he mused, admiring the sight of you lying there, exposed and vulnerable under his gaze. Your skin was flushed, your pulse quickened at his words. He was sizing you up, like a predator would its prey, and you couldn't help but feel like a lamb led to the slaughter.

"Well, let's see if we can stretch that hole a bit, shall we?" he smirked, climbing on top of you. His legs pinned yours down, spreading them wider apart.

The head of his thick cock nudged against your slick entrance, causing you to be startled by its girth and you squirmed under his weight, his hands gripping your hips fiercely, preventing you from moving.

"Wait," you whimpered, your voice trembling with uncertainty and fear. He looked down upon you, his piercing gaze holding your own. "Aren't you going to wear a condom?" you asked, swallowing hard and looking up at him with wide, scared eyes. 

"No, I want to feel you bare. It's so much better that way," he replied eagerly while running the head of his cock over your slit. 

"But, I'm not on birth control," you stammered, realizing how foolish it was to say such a thing at this point.

He smiled and braced his arms on either side of your head. "That's okay. I will give you the morning after pill when we are done," he whispered, before he began pushing the tip of his swollen cockhead against your entrance. The pressure of the head pressing against your innocence made you squirm and protest underneath him, but he didn't heed your pleas.

"Oh god, it hurts ," you cried out as he pushed in another inch, stretching your cherry to the brink.

"I know. It's alright . Just relax, baby," Cillian whispered soothingly, despite knowing that the pain was inevitable. "You are such a good girl for me," he told you , as he began pushing deeper, slowly and deliberately, tearing through the thin barrier of your innocence.

You couldn't help but let out a yelp, a combination of surprise, pain, and discomfort, as you lay there beneath him, legs trembling, hands fisted at your sides, nails digging into the luxurious sheets of the elegant suite. Your whole body tensed, tears streaming down your face, as he kept pushing forward until his entire length was buried deep inside of you, groaning out in pleasure.

"Fuck, you're so tight. I knew it was going to be good, but goddamn," Cillian muttered, starting to thrust in a slow, deliberate rhythm, savouring the feeling of your virginity tightly wrapped around his cock.

"Please...it hurts," you whimpered, trying to hold back the tears as you felt your body stretched and invaded beyond belief.

"Just relax and let me stretch you out," he grunted, slamming all the way inside of you, filling you up with his thick, swollen cock.

Your tight pussy burned with a throbbing sensation, your body still adjusting to the sheer size that was previously unknown to your innocent body.

Cillian smirked as he felt your virginity broken, your blood glazing the length of his shaft.  You cried out in pain, your fingers digging into the plush fabric of the bedsheets beneath you. He reveled in your discomfort, savoring the feeling of your tight pussy clenching around him as he thrust deeper into your young, innocent body.

"God, you feel so fucking good," he grunted, his hips driving into yours with a ferocity that made your breath catch in your throat.  "Look at me while I fuck you."

You yelped in pain, tears streaming down your cheeks as he mercilessly thrust himself into you, ripping through your innocence. Your young, untouched body screamed in protest, but Cillian showed no remorse.

"I am going to cum deep inside you," he growled, his hips slamming roughly against yours.

You felt disgusted, helpless as he ravaged your body, pushing himself to the hilt with each brutal thrust.

He grabbed your wrists, pinning them above your head as he buried himself deep inside of you. You whimpered softly, fighting the urge to cry as the pain intensified.

"Almost done , little one," Cillian grunted, breathing heavily as he slammed into you forcefully. With a final groan, he ejaculated, releasing himself deep inside your tight channel.

It felt like a burning hot poker stabbing you relentlessly, the sensation unbearable. The intimacy of his release within you made you shudder from its intensity. The aroma of his sweat hung heavy in the air, mingled with an undercurrent of blood - your blood, invading your innocence and leaving a trail of crimson on the creases of your thighs.

His grip on your wrists slackened, allowing you to wriggle free from his grasp and when he pulled out of you, you could feel his semen oozing out, coating your inner thighs in a slick, wet mess.

The pain radiated through your body with a vengeance, and you couldn't help but wince as you shifted on the bed, the sheets sticking to your damp skin.

"There are towels in the bathroom," Cillian said casually, gesturing towards the en-suite with a nod. "Clean yourself up."

A flush rose to your cheeks, as you looked away from him, the embarrassment lodging itself in your throat like a fist.

You had heard stories of young girls like yourself being taken advantage of in the entertainment industry, but you never thought it would happen to you. 

When you stood up quietly, you felt his cum leak out of your pussy, a mix of pain, discomfort and shame pulsing through your veins. Your muscles protested as you walked on shaky legs towards the en-suite bathroom. Once inside, you locked the door behind you, and stared at your reflection in the mirror. 

You cleaned up , using a warm washcloth to wipe the cum and bloodstains from your thighs, feeling the painful throb radiate from within and when you retreated from the bathroom, Cillian handed you a packet containing a single pill.

"Take this. It's the morning-after pill. Make sure to take it tonight. Filming starts tomorrow," Cillian said, his tone flat.

His words echoed in your ears as you took the pills from him, feeling numb with shock and disgust. You wanted to scream and shout, to tell him that he had no right to do this to you. But all you could manage was a weak "thank you" before turning away from him and gathering your things. 

[raving-raven-writing]

Love and Leashes--Review and Thoughts

So I am still on my Asian films/shows kick and I recently watched a Korean film that has been on my to watch list for awhile.

It is on Netflix, titled "Love and Leashes". About two colleagues Jung Jihoo and Jung Jiwoo, who initially have a D/S relationship, but eventually it turns out that they also have romantic feelings for one another as well. On a bit of a deeper surface, they both struggle in love. Her with the fact that she has a "resting bitch face" and if she wants a man, she needs to stop glaring and frowning. Him with the fact that the person he dated before was highly unwelcoming to his BDSM side and doesn't want to be in another relationship lest he get hurt the same way.

I have never personally experienced a D/S relationship. I only know from what I have read online, but I like the way they approached this relationship. It seemed very healthy. Compared to something like 50 Shades of Grey, I never once got any uncomfortable/cringe vibes from any of the "play scenes" they had.

It was something that was new to each of them. Jiwoo did her research before she tried anything on Jihoo and the agreement they made with one another was for a trial period, terms were made clear, and both agreed to them. They came up with a safe word in case something went wrong and there was aftercare after everything. Initially, they were to keep things as just a D/S relationship...but obviously, both of them end up catching feelings for the other. Also, all the different kinks shown in the film had me squealing in excitement--rarely do you ever see movies (excluding porno) that have anything like that. To list some of the kinks; -Dog/pet play -Feet/Heels---being stepped on -Whips/Impact play -Wax play -Bondage -Verbal Degradation/Dirty Talking -Shibari (Japanese Rope Bondage)

But there were moments in this movie that made me just go "Aww". Like when Jiwoo found Jihoo crying bc he thought that she was referring to him when she was muttering about "He's disgusting" but was referring to their boss. (And idk why, but I enjoy seeing men cry, it always gives me "Aww, let me hug you" urge). Or when they had gone out on a date, and she had handcuffed them together and was feeding him while they had lunch (depending on the situation, feeding another person is just so sweet and endearing to me). And at the end, when they were in a disciplinary meeting, Jihoo stands up to the HR and is defending Jiwoo and how she did nothing wrong---this was also where he confessed his attraction to her and no longer seems to care as much if other people think of him as a freak or pervert.

There were also moments of humor too. Like when they had their first session at a love motel and were trying pet play, and they can hear the couples on either side moaning, so Jihoo starts barking at them to try and drown out the noise (or to tell them off via dog speak?). And this resulted in them they get kicked out because of a noise complaint! Not to mention when he was being punished and asked for her to at least curse at him. And she's calling him a "stupid dumbass" and he cheerfully agrees with "Yes, I'm a stupid dumbass!".

I also liked the ending, of how the message was that there is someone out there for you, who will accept and love you as you are, "without the mask on". And, coming from someone who is chronically single, this is a nice message and is somewhat hopeful.

If you're comfortable with watching a bit of kinky content, with humor, romance, and fluff, I would highly recommend this movie! It was really good; made my night!

[lavender-romancer]

Fools

Part Three

Tommy Shelby x Male Reader

CW: internalised homophobia, sexual themes

You always felt that you were hiding or running from deep inside of you, this feeling that you weren't like other men around you. When you met Tommy it made sense but how could you explore these feelings?

AN: Tommy is not married to Lizzie and Ruby does not exist

”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜”*°•. ˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

previous part

Tommy had been thinking about you from the moment you left. Lounging back on the sofa in his office he stared up at the ceiling, the shapes in plaster seemed to swirl and twirl into a portrait of your face. An imaginative representation of your beauty that followed Tommy throughout his office, he saw you in everything. Tommy closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hearing your moans and feeling the weight of your body on top of him- he was already horny again.

For the remainder of the day Tommy knew that regardless of his shame, his secret, he had to be with you. He had to see you again, under whatever guise the two of you needed to use to be with one another. His mind was full of ways to see you again without raising suspicion. All he wanted was to hold you, comfort you, kiss you. Your lips had been so forgiving of his crimes and past indiscretions. This affection between the two of you was not perverted, it was not some sort of disgusting bohemian act. It was tender.

When Lizzie entered his office after knocking she found Tommy reclined on the sofa staring up at the ceiling and she smiled. "So how was your so-called meeting?" She asked with a smirk and Tommy rolled his eyes but focussed them back on the ceiling.

"It was…promising. You know how I've wanted to get into the arms business." Tommy could have almost smiled at his own coyness.

"Oh come off it. What was he like?" Lizzie asked, pulling a stool over from the side of the room and sitting near Tommy.

"It was…" he paused, trying to find any description he could give to represent your time together but he couldn't find one.

"That good?" Lizzie commented with a hint of jealousy after a few moments and Tommy let himself smile slightly.

"Don't tease." Tommy swung his legs round and sat up, looking at Lizzie.

"He looked proper terrified when I saw him." Lizzie had to hold in her laugh.

"I think he thought I brought him under false pretenses." He lit up a cigarette and breathed out smoke. "But you could tell otherwise, couldn't you?"

"I think I can always tell when someone is one of your strays, Tommy." Lizzie smiled softly and paused.

"He's not like the others, I can't pinpoint it yet. But I think it's altogether much more dangerous that he is different." Tommy stood up and walked over to his desk. "Set up a meeting for next week but tell him to meet me in the bar of his hotel tomorrow night." Tommy turned to look at Lizzie and she nodded before leaving.

The following day you weren't sure how to go through the motions of a normal day knowing that you would be seeing Tommy at the end of it. Everything seemed a means to an end of winding down the clock, nothing was interesting to you. You tried to read or listen to records or go on a walk but fuck, all you could think about was Tommy's smell, the feeling of his hand on your cock or how you internally ached for him. The need you had for him felt primal and yet all together soft. The animalistic nature of your sexual attraction was overpowered by a sense of comfort in his presence and that his embrace was a prerequisite for your complete happiness.

The validity of these thoughts troubled you for a while in the hours before you were to meet with Tommy. Was this a mental construction of your attraction and need for him? Or was it a genuine ache for him to be near you?

Regardless of this you got yourself ready to meet Tommy. Taking care that every part of your suit and your hair was meticulously laid out and formed perfectly. It was pathetically juvenile to want to impress him this way but you couldn't help it. You wanted his attention so badly that you were prepared to beg for it. The effect Thomas Shelby was having on you was altogether terrifying.

You sat in the hotel bar with an aged whisky in front of you as your heartbeat stayed in time with your rising anxiety. What if he didn't want this anymore? If he came here to end it or tell you to leave? These worries were so superficial you worried more for your own state of mind and lack of self worth. Either way you knew that if Tommy didn't turn up or this all ended it would take an unimaginable amount of effort to recover from it all.

"Sorry I'm late," you heard a voice behind you say and it felt like you let out a breath you'd been holding since you sat down.

"No, not at all, I-I hadn't been waiting long and-"

"What's going on with the whole," he gestured to you. "Anxiousness and that straight jacket of a suit." Tommy smiled and you felt the heat rise to your face.

"I�� uh," You paused. "I came from a meeting and didn't have time to change."

"That's definitely a lie, Y/n." Tommy ordered a whisky and you laughed quietly.

"Well, I can't seem to hide anything from you." You loosened your tie and lit up a cigarette.

"I much prefer you in less clothing anyways." He said very quietly, so only you could hear and it felt like your breath got caught in your throat.

"What did you want to discuss?" You asked Tommy with more confidence in your voice.

"What our arrangement would be. I thought a public place would be easier but we can go to my house in Small Heath instead." Tommy drank some of his whisky and looked at you through the corner of his eye, gauging your reaction.

"I thought you made your wishes for these arrangements clear yesterday?" You asked, recalling his desire to fuck the shit out of you with a fondness.

"Yes, but the detail is just as important, how often we will see one another, where and when etcetera," Tommy took a deep breath and looked down. "I'm accustomed to the secrecy, the sneaking around but not this."

"And what is…this? At least to your understanding of it." You furrowed your brows in confusion.

"I believe I could feel things for you that I have never felt for anyone." Tommy didn't meet your gaze but he could guess your expression.

"This is what worries you? The possibility of a sort of emotional entanglement with me?" It would have offended you if public opinion wasn't so damning about men like you.

"It's not you specifically, it's what it could mean for me, and for you. The consequences of it all." Tommy tried to explain but you still didn't understand so you stayed silent. "I'm- we're not in a position to take this beyond sex." Your stomach felt like it had dropped and you turned back to your drink with a solemn expression.

"I see." You remarked in a way that felt very final, Tommy could feel the change in atmosphere between the two of you.

"This is not about you specifically its-" Tommy began but you interrupted him.

"I'd argue it's very much about me personally and I'm not going to sit through it." You sighed but didn't move.

"I only mean that…it has never been more than this for me and the whole concept of something further is absolutely terrifying." Tommy ran his hand through his hair nervously and you couldn't help but look at him with sympathy.

"We both know the risks. We both know who we could theoretically tell and who we couldn't. Men like us don't have the liberty of taking chances but I feel something else, I know you do too. That fucking- the connection." He continued and you looked at him with pleading eyes.

"I know, I felt it." You replied.

"I can't let this go. I physically can't." Tommy looked so incredibly anxious but also suspiciously horny….

"Does the depravity of this situation get you off, Mr Shelby?" You asked with a small grin.

"It most certainly does." He looked down.

"How do you feel about all of this? This thing between us?" You asked and Tommy looked inquisitively at you.

"I'm cautious about it. Which I suppose is in my nature." Tommy replied.

"I mean… I feel good about it. Also ridiculously guarded in my feelings but I suppose most people do." You replied and continued to look almost pleadingly at Tommy to just come up to your room, Tommy just took a drag of his cigarette.

"I can tell you're waiting for me to do something," Tommy spoke up and you tried to hide your intent but he only smirked, "You can try, but you'll never be able to hide your intent from me anymore. I'm inside your head with all my g**sy magic you see." He said sarcastically and you rolled your eyes.

"You absolutely are not in my head, I'm just a terrible liar with absolutely no poker face. Tommy, you're hardly facing up to someone of your caliber when relating to lying." You called over the waiter and ordered two more whiskeys.

"Even buying drinks for me? You must be trying to sweeten me up." Tommy raised his eyebrow and it made heat rise to your cheeks. It was at that moment of almost complete embarrassment that you decided to be completely reckless.

"When I finish this drink I'm going to my room, you're going to meet me there in five minutes." You said in hushed tones before downing your whiskey and walking out without a second glance.

The closer you got to your room, the higher your sense of anxiety got. What in all holy fuck had you just done? You weren't that confident at least not towards Tommy when alluding to sex. He made you feel inexplicably weak and submissive without doing anything remotely dominant. But this change of pace gave you a sense of control for once and as you closed your door behind you, you almost sighed in relief. Not being able to touch Tommy the way you wanted in public killed you ever so little each time.

You loosened your tie before pulling it off and unbuttoning your top two buttons, even your slightly oversized blazer felt constricting as your body ached for him. Everything was warm and uncomfortable, but you could hardly strip naked and just awkwardly wait for him in the room. Every minute felt like one more you couldn't handle, you wanted to run downstairs and pull him into your arms.

You sat down on the end of the bed and sighed, running a hand down your face and then gripping the bed frame. What were you doing? What was the point of all this skulking around with Tommy? The silence enabled you to examine how truly subdued you felt about it all. But then the knock came and you bolted upright, your mouth grew dry and your breath caught in your throat. As you walked slowly towards the door you couldn't help but get involuntarily excited about what awaited you on the other side.

"Tommy." You breathed as you opened the door, he looked you up and down before pushing back his hair and walking into your room. "I wasn't sure if you were going to–"

You were stopped by Tommy putting a hand around your throat and slamming you into the wall. Your eyes were wide and whilst you were unsure of what was happening, you couldn't help the hardness growing in your groin. His scent was just as intoxicating as the day before, making it impossible to focus. Tommy looked down and saw the bulge in your trousers, he looked up at you with a smirk and leant towards your ear.

"You love when I'm fucking rough with you, eh?" He asked and you unintentionally moaned whilst nodding.

Tommy tightened his grip slightly and your knees began to weaken with every squeeze around your throat. You couldn't explain why it felt so euphoric to you, but you hated control. Especially when it came to sex you didn't need to feel the pressure of having control.

"Get on your knees," Tommy released you from his grasp and turned around, removing his blazer and rolling up his white sleeves.

You quickly obliged his request and sat back on your heels on the floor with your hands clasped in your lap. When Tommy turned around he looked pleased, he lay a hand on your cheek and ran his thumb along your bottom lip. You took advantage of the position and licked his thumb whilst looking up at him. Tommy only smirked as he took off his trousers and let his briefs fall to the floor. It wasn't surprising to you that Thomas Shelby had a big dick, but it didn't make it any less beautiful. You slowly leant forward and placed your hand at the base whilst pushing him into your mouth, Tommy let out a moan that sounded like he had been holding in for years. As if he was finally somewhere he needed to be.

He came quicker than you imagined but after you swallowed and wiped your mouth you stood up and pulled him into your arms. Tommy gripped you so incredibly tight, his vulnerability after finishing was palpable and you weren't going to let him go.

Slowly, you led him over to the bed and lay down, pulling him on top of you. Tommy's head lay on your chest as he silently cried at the tenderness you showed him. You stroked up and down his shirt clad back, comforting him for as long as he needed it. Every now and then kissing him on the top of the head. This wasn't normal. Usually your sexual partners couldn't wait to leave, to avoid as much suspicion as possible when leaving a man's room that smelt of sex. But Tommy… he wouldn't let go. Not that you wanted him to leave but you had become so accustomed to it that you half expected him to reject your advances of aftercare.

"Why isn't this right?" Tommy suddenly asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" You asked, stroking his hair.

"I mean, why is this affection between the two of us so wrong?" Tommy sounded like he was about to burst into tears so you shuffled down and lay next to him, turning on your side so you were face to face.

"It's not. You should know by now that just because one thing is viewed as wrong, it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Take every liberty you want regardless of expectations." You told him, placing a hand on his cheek. He had this unfathomable ability to always look gorgeous regardless of his emotion or expression and whilst he lay here, eyes full of tears- he'd never looked so perfect.

"I might be a godless perverted heathen, but you're a fucking angel." Tommy whispered before pulling you into an aggressive kiss. He pulled you on top of him, one hand behind your neck, pulling you closer to him. The kiss was so loving and needy at the same time because you both knew opportunities for this type of affection didn't happen as often as you'd like. Most of the time there was a great deal of sneaking around but in this moment, you felt like all of this could be infinite.

next part

Peaky Blinders taglist:

@queenofkings1212 @severewobblerlightdragon @cl5369 @fairypitou @stressedandbandobessed7771 @shadow-of-wonder @hipsternoionlylikeunicorns @curled-hair-red-lips @lucystivinsky1315

Series taglist:

@denzellovehazelnuts

@edgyboi10000 @strnqer @arsoniscommited @flynnr2d2

[anama-cara]

Part 2. In the garden

Raider!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Part 3

Summary: Joel returns for you but something unexpected happens at the end of your encounter. Word count: 2.6k Inspiration came from @cool-iguana in her fic cruel love. 

Warnings: 18 + mdni , Dubious consent, oral (m receiving), fingering (f receiving), masturbation, canon violence, mentions of blood, gunshot, dirty talk, dacryphilia, clicker, age gap, I do Not condone this.

Reader is in her early 20’s, Joel is in his 40’s. Reader’s inner thoughts are in italics. This is a part 2 of Bargaining

The day after he left last month you went to your neighbors, bartered and traded with them for vegetables and seeds. You went to the woods alone, taking the risk to forage. You found wild mushrooms a plenty and a plum tree that you stripped bare. The greener ones would keep and you put them in the basket, but you had to preserve the rest of your haul. You spent the weeks preserving the plums and making jams. By the time tithe day came around you had a full basket.

You had thought about him a lot when you were on your own trekking through the woods or during the long mind-numbing hours of plum preserving. You thought about him mainly out of hatred and anger. But sometimes, at night when you reached between your legs you thought about the way he made your body feel. You felt nothing but hate towards him, but you separated that feeling of him, his cock, the way it felt inside you. Sometimes you made up fake scenarios where someone, who might have looked like Joel (but definitely was not Joel) came to take you away from this place. You imagined his face and his body; you couldn’t deny that he was incredibly attractive. And after you had to remind yourself that it was just a dream.

It’s been three weeks and six days since you saw Joel last. Tonight, you lay in bed, dreading the day to come.

Hopefully they will take the basket and leave and it will all go smoothly.

Most likely Joel wouldn’t even be there, he usually didn’t come on exchange days. You weren’t sure how to feel about that. On one hand he did allow you to save your brother, and on the other hand he hurt you and took a piece of you. You know that if he didn’t interrupt his men last time you wouldn’t be hearing your brother’s quiet breathing from the twin bed next to you. You almost want to thank him. And to thank him for keeping his end of the deal. Most raiders would have lied, hurt you and still taken your brother in the end anyways. And you can’t lie to yourself that you want to see his face again, to catch a glimpse of him and keep it in your memory so you can play with it and turn it into one of your fantasies later for your Joel-not-Joel. But in the end, you hope he doesn’t come. You fall asleep hoping things so quickly and smoothly tomorrow like they had all the other exchange days before Joel showed up.

--

The next day you are prepared. The basket is sitting on the table in the living room. You’ve made sure your brother is staying upstairs out of sight. You sit at the table waiting for the knock.

Hours tick by. Then a quick wrap of knuckles on your front door. You silently rise and open the door, there are two men standing there. You sigh in relief internally and motion them in. They head over to the basket. One of them look at you and says, “everything looks in order.” You nod in response. The other one tips his head to the fireplace. “You mind if we warm up for a sec?”

You wouldn’t dare refuse them. “Of course.” They pull the chairs in front of the fire and take off their gloves to warm them in font of the flames. You wish you had gloves. You’re watching them when you hear the door push open. Your head whirls in the direction of someone else coming inside.

Joel waltzes in and winks at your expression of shock and disgust. “Good afternoon sweetheart. Why are you surprised? Told you I’d be back.”

But your bargain was fulfilled. He could have just sent his men. Why did he come too?

“But you already-“ He shakes his head in warning, cutting off your protest. You close your mouth. He glances around the room. “Your brother upstairs?” He asks you. You nod silently. “Good,” he says to himself. Then in a loud voice he says, “Show me that garden of yours. I need to see if you’ve replanted like you said you would.”

Did he say that so your brother would hear? So he wouldn’t worry and would know where you were at?

“Outside. Now.” He orders you.  You gulp and turn on your heel to march through the back door that leads to the garden behind the house. Joel just nods to his men as he walks past them. They understand the silent command to stay here and wait and not interrupt.

--

You point at the little mounds of earth in neat rows. “There, see.” You say pointedly. You know why he’s here.

Fuck me for ever thinking this was over, that he was true to his word. Of course not, no he’ll be back every fucking month to take what’s “his”.

“Looks good.”

“You’re not here to check on my fucking vegetables.” You’re fuming. Out of hatred for him, sure. But also at yourself for being naive and ever having hope.

“Forgot what a dirty mouth you had. No, sweetheart, I’m not here to check your vegetables. I’m here for you.”

“That wasn’t the deal. It was a one-time thing.”

“Hmm yeah but I didn’t have you begging on the floor like you said. So, I thought I’d come back for that. Plus, even if I did feel like our deal was complete and I still came back, what would you do? Say no?” His eyes are dark.

He went to easy on me last time. He knows it, I know it. And he’s back to remind me just how cruel and powerful he can be. He has to keep up that image.

You grab his hand and lead him past the vegetable garden to the little shed in the corner of the yard. It’s not really even a shed. It used to be a place to stack firewood and keep it out of the snow and rain. There’s a slanted roof and two wooden walls with two sides remaining open. You have a small stack of wood against one wall, your hand shovel and a few gardening tools are on the ground next to the wood pile. You gardening hoe is leaning against the outer wall.

You crowd in. Even though it is still open to the cold, the wall helps against the wind.

“Dress off this time.” He commands. You do it, throwing your dress and underwear on top of the wood pile. You shudder in the cold as you stand in front of him totally naked. The view to the house is blocked by one of the walls. You’re grateful his men wouldn’t be able to look out the window and see you. Or your brother. No, only Joel can see you. This is just for him.

“Turn.” You slowly spin in a circle for him. Your body is hardened and your skin is covered in goosebumps from the cold.

“Damn,” he sighs. You quickly glance at his face. His eyes are glazed with lust. You lower your gaze back to the ground.

“On your knees. Let’s see what else that dirty little mouth of yours can do.” He undoes his belt and frees his cock from his boxers as you kneel before him on the cold ground. He’s still fully clothed, pants barely pulled down and you are completely naked. You kneel in the cold earth, the little pieces of wood and bark dig into your bare knees. You’re now eye level with his large cock. He wraps one hand around his base and one in your hair. He feels your hair for a moment, his fingers gliding through it before he grips you tightly. He rubs his cock up against your cheek and you open your mouth. He shoves inside making you choke instantly. He laughs and pulls out, a stream of saliva following. You cough and catch your breath while he stares down at you with a smirk. You swallow and open your mouth again for him, tongue out. He smiles, “Atta girl. Now you gotta take it this time.”

He slides in again, giving you only a second to adjust to the feel. Your mouth is opened as wide as it can possibly go and he fills you completely. Your jaw is aching from the strain and tears prickle at your eyes. He seems to like that. “That’s it. Cry for me sweetheart, cry on this big cock.”

He fists your hair tighter and pulls you down on his cock. Again and again. “Fuck,” swears. He sets up a brutal pace, fucking your face ruthlessly without pausing to let you breathe as you choke on him. Your body is getting numb from the cold, your knees ache, and your cheeks are sore from sucking. Your hands are free but you don’t push him away, don’t claw at him to let you breathe. No, you keep them crossed behind your back like you know he would want. Tears run down your face, mixing in with the saliva around your mouth and chin.

“Hmmmm,” he groans. “Almost there sweetheart. Fuck you’re doing so good.” He praises you as his thrusts become sloppier. He slams into you, thrusting slower and deeper. You can barely take it, your legs are shaking now from holding your body up against his punishing thrusts. Finally you feel his body contract and he lets out a guttural moan of pleasure as he sends his release pulsing into your mouth. He pulls out and tucks himself back in as you swallow your mouthful. You feel some of it dripping from the corners of your mouth down your chin. He wipes your mouth roughly with his palm, looking at you with pride. His chest is heaving, face flushed, with eyes still glazed over. He releases his hold on your hair and you slump to floor. He watches you for a moment, lying naked on the floor in front of him, shaking and trying to wipe away the mix of tears and saliva and cum from the rest of your face. He squats down in front of you slides a thumb into your mouth without warning. Instinctively your tongue reaches out and you lick him. He grins and pulls his thumb out with a wet sound then pushes it into his own mouth. He keeps eye contact with you the whole time. To your dismay you watch as his eyes get darker.

He hums. “Not done yet sweetheart. Gotta taste you now.” Before you can react, he loops his hands under your arms and hoists you up. He pushes you against the wall, your already sore cheeks grating into the wooden paneling. He slides two fingers into you from behind and starts pumping, not waiting for your body to adjust. His thumb comes up to your clit, circling it once before grinding into it, pushing down. Your body, sensitive from the cold, begins to respond immediately. He hums as he feels your clit throb under the pad of his thumb and slick start to slide onto his fingers. “So warm and soft,” he murmurs almost to himself. “God, you feel amazing.”

Your body responds to him on its own accord, desperate for a release. In no time at all you feel the tug at your core and the heat pooling deep inside you. You gasp and it urges him on, he curls his fingers, hitting a different spot and you erupt on him, soaking his fingers. Your face is red with embarrassment and shame. But you can’t deny it felt good.

Were you that desperate for him? Or just desperate in general?

“Attagirl.” He massages you through it, then pulls his fingers out and slides them into his mouth. He groans as he sucks on them and closes his eyes, relishing your taste. He pulls his cock out and slides it through your slick folds, gathering lube. He’s already fully hard again and he fists himself behind you with one hand, his other now pressed between your shoulder blades, keeping you pinned to the wall. You hear only his moaning and the lewd sounds of his fist sliding along his cock, wet with your own release. In minutes you feel him stiffen behind you and he releases his hold on you.

Before you had the counter to lean over for support, it held your weight. Now there’s nothing. Your tired legs collapse and you sag to the ground again. He sighs in relief behind you and you feel hot liquid spurt against your skin as he cums on your naked body. There’s silence and you turn to see his face. He’s looking down at you with an expression that might be pity or regret. So different from the predatory look he wore earlier. He takes your dress and panties from the wood pile, lifts you up from the ground and sets you down on top of it. He hands you your clothes and tells you to get dressed. He tucks himself in, does his belt as you get dressed in silence. Once you pull your dress down he nods. “Let’s go sweetheart.” You start your walk back up to the house with him leading. You’re trailing a step behind him, staring at his back and still pondering that look you saw on his face.

You’ve just left the woodhouse and you hear a rustle in the woods that butt up against the shack to your right. Your head swivels to it but Joel doesn’t seem to hear. You pause, listening when you hear the bone chilling sounds of a clicker. It lunges from around the corner of the wood house, right behind Joel. On instinct you grab the garden hoe from the wall and swing. The sharp edge stabs into its neck in a whack. Joel turns, whipping his gun out in one fluid motion and shoots without hesitation. A direct hit at this close distant and the clicker falls back, dark blood pouring from the bullet hole in its head, seeping into the dirt. Your garden hoe is still wedged into his neck and it sticks straight up. Joel whips back and he’s gaping at you, surprise written all over his face. You’re panting from the adrenalin and staring down at the clicker at your feet.

The back door of the house bursts open and you turn to see your little brother sprinting across the lawn. His arms are outstretched towards you as he runs. But Joel bends down and catches him before he reaches you. Your chest tightens in fear for a moment, but he sweeps him up and holds his head to close to his chest. “Hey it’s okay buddy. Your sister didn’t get hurt. It was just a misfire; there’s nothing be worried about.” You still haven’t moved, stunned at what you’re seeing as Joel holds your crying brother, soothing him and cradling him to his chest.

You hear shouts from the house. Joel turns his head in your direction. Without meeting your eye he whispers, “Don’t let him see it.” Of course. You quickly step over the clicker, taking your brother in your arms and facing him back towards the house.  You see Joel’s men jogging across the yard now. One approaches, panting. “Sorry boss, he heard the gunshot and just took off.”

“’sfine’” he grunts, face in his usual angry scowl again. “Let’s go,” he orders his men and they march ahead of you back to their truck. Joel doesn’t turn back to look at you as he leaves.

[ww2yaoi]

I finished you'll be sor-reeeeeee by sid phillips. unorganized and unsolicited thoughts under the cut:

overall, I really enjoyed this book. like I had a ball on this bitch. I knew it was going to be a more light-hearted take on the war memoir but I didn’t realize how often I’d be cracking up at every ridiculous situation sid had gotten himself into. like it was laugh-out-loud, eyes watering kind of cracking up in a few instances. I guess the book just really hit on my kind of sense of humour, which is self-deprecating and attracted to the ridiculousness of the entire situation and also the unfortunate circumstances of it all. I would say the book was similar to parachute infantry in that way, the screwball, loony tunes vibe and accompanying cast of characters with various quirks (but don’t get me wrong, besides that they’re very different books).

obviously, it was nothing mind-blowing, but I don’t think it was the book’s intention to impress or make some sweeping statement. I think it accomplishes what it sets out to do, which is compile sid’s more humorous memories of the war. he calls it a book of “sea stories,” which to me communicates the kind of thing your grandpa might tell you if you asked him what he did during the war. sid initially wrote this book with the sole purpose of sharing his experiences with his family, so it makes sense that the book has a more casual, simple, straight-forward tone, and sid doesn’t really ruminate too much on one thing or the other or try to make much sense of it all. occasionally, he’ll make an observation that’s poignant, but then he’s basically just like that’s weird! and moves on. his attitude is not so melancholic. he’s not a leckie or a webster or a sledge. I would say this book reminded me more of babe and bill’s book, but I enjoyed this one a lot more than that one. sorry bill and babe </3

anyways, that’s not to say the book feels overly sanitized. there are a few instances where sid leaves things to the imagination or the swears are censored and the more inappropriate remarks from sid’s fellow marines aren’t disclosed, but you do get the sense that the war sucked complete ass. the conditions were awful and the marines were really, really, really, really hard work, especially being a lowly private like sid was during the whole war. I really enjoyed how this book highlighted some of the back-breaking physical labour sid had to do either in boot camp or on the troop ship or on the line or in their rest camp in the mess, etc. but you can see sid very much had a go-getter spirit and the power of youth on his side. that’s how he managed to survive. sid’s attitude towards this in retrospect is basically like yeah it was awful but it made me more resilient and now when bad things happen I can be like “I’ve seen way worse.” and I guess that’s really all you can hope for when you’ve been through something like that.

like I said the book does focus on the humour but there are moments of horror as well. sid seeing dead bodies, recounting the deaths of his comrades, hearing rumours of the japanese mutilating the allied dead, the intense bombings that made men sob like children and tremble and pray. he describes how disgusting their living situation was in the mud and the heat and the rain, how their bodies developed sores and their flesh rotted away, how they often didn’t have water or food, and when they did have food it was awful and they loathed it. he talks about how weak and emaciated some of the men got by the end of each campaign. and he was a teenager throughout all of this! it’s truly nuts

caoimhe/randlemartin pointed this out to me when I was sharing some excerpts with her but the humour and shenanigans shared in this book really highlight how young these marines were. like they were basically kids, and you can see that in how silly and rambunctious and funny and energetic their comedy and shenanigans are. and so very juvenile too… there’s stories of sid and his pals playing pranks on the higher-ups and running amuck in australia, and if anything, at least this time was one of freedom and excitement for these boys. for better or for worse. they got to leave their small towns and their families and got to see a corner of the world, meet people, and experience cultures they never would have had the war not happened.

a couple more things and I’ll shut up. something that comes up in the book a lot is the distinct bravado and macho attitude of the marines, which sid often highlights by repeating the phrase “no kind words. no sympathy ever.” he often talks about how mean and blasé his fellow marines would be in near-death situations, or gearing up for an invasion, or greeting someone coming back from the hospital, or really in unfortunate circumstances of any kind. no tender emotions or feelings here, folks! and sid doesn’t blatantly state this but you get the sense that it was a favoured coping mechanism of the men. and they used comedy to brush things aside so no one would linger too long on the raw human emotion of it all. because if you did you’d open up the wound and bleed out. that, I think, was the fear anyways. toxically masculine? perhaps!!!!! but I can see the value in suppressing those emotions in the moment to be able to get through the day without freaking the fuck out about how miserable your circumstances are. just laugh and move on. you have to do it or you’ll go nuts. that’s the impression I get and I think I would act similarly in that kind of situation.

what else… oh, the eugene of it all. eugene is mentioned a few times throughout the book but their relationship isn’t a key aspect of the story, so don’t go in expecting a sidsledge extravaganza. what is in the book though is very sweet and you can tell they meant a lot to each other wah :( sid even includes a quote from with the old breed in one chapter to better highlight the conditions on pavuvu and he says it’s a great book <3 he was definitely proud of eugene. get you a hype man like sid phillips

alright. closing remarks. I really enjoyed this. a lot more than I thought I would honestly. only place I would dock marks is in the very final chapter where sid goes on a bit of an old-man-yells-at-cloud rant and randomly says he doesn’t believe in evolution. that gave me whiplash, not because his views are surprising coming from an old white christian southern man born in the 1920s, but because it’s like what the hell does this have to do with anything the last 250 pages were about… I guess it really rounds out the having-a-conversation-with-your-grandpa experience. let’s get you to bed peepaw we don’t need to be discussing american christian values right now... so that was a bit bizarre. consequently, I wish the book had a more introspective conclusion, but I get the sense that sid isn’t that kind of guy. maybe that’s why he’s depicted as the repression king in the show. I think there’s a bit of reluctance in this book to look too hard at the difficult stuff, but if you want to study ww2 you have to consider the povs of people who feel that way and who try to focus on the bright side. even though it’s not as critically illuminating as the more hard-hitting memoirs, there’s obviously value in studying accounts like this because they reveal lesser explored aspects of the war, like how the troops used humour to cope. which I think is ultimately the thesis of the book

anyways I give it 4/5 stars <3 yay sid :D