#I feel like someone gave him this name to vary from Sans | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lunamiuna-the-curious-fella · 2 months ago

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[I'm gonna take what I wrote in a reblog that doesn't relate to the original source, cause when I search for it by the tags I added it doesn't show up for some reason. It's me ranting about my OC and Fresh, including fanfic like parts, and I would love to hear anyone's thoughts about it. Took a lot of inspiration from the fic 'Sweet Sweet Swagger' by MissPawTastic, go check them out! Also you can imagine this as taking place well after Loveball 2016 and Timeparty2k16 roleplays, to explain why he isn't entirely emotionless. Or not. Whatever fits, idk]

So, Arial, my OC. They're very self inserty and share a lot of traits with me, like being Aroace, Agender, any pronouns, AuDHD, Infp personality type, and in general my personality, interests, and quirks. Here they are in gacha life 2:

But the gist is that they're actually a human monster hybrid, not just monster like they seem and go by to keep up appearances, and a powerful one at that. They're kind of an anomaly, cause y'see, not only they are stronger than most, their soul which looks like this:

has the theoretical potential to be stronger than all 7 human soul kinds combined. But since her body obviously can't handle all that, it just gives how much is currently needed and adapts. Which means even if Fresh were to possess them, while it would feel just as bad as for anyone else at first, with time they would adapt to the possession, eventually even being able to take back control entirely. They would much prefer to share the body though, if they're on friendly terms with Fresh. Also their short term in the moment soul energy is highly dependable on their emotional state, with strong emotions causing it to produce more energy, enough to smoothly take over control even, if the emotion is intense enough.

Whether they know of Fresh's secret identity or not and whether she's aware of the full capacity of her power in relation to him varies a lot, there's a lot of different timelines and what if's to this. Either way, if Fresh is somewhat nice, and doesn't like, do evil shit to innocent people for no reason, then they're friendly and understanding of his situation, cause like, he has to hurt people, just to exist... How tragic is that!

Arial's home AU is set in a classic adjacent universe, the lore being that basically there's this secret line of skeletons (and other monsters too) that managed to hide amongst humans with some rare magic or artifacts that gave them disguises, like they weren't trapped under Mount Ebott. Arial has this muddy green goat named Falcon as their main mentor/father figure in his life, since her biological parents abandoned them before they could ever form any memories of them. They don't talk much nowadays, having little in common and living away from each other, but they care about each other very much and are protective of each other. There were ancient magic scientists in the childhood hidden village they lived in, and they are the reason why she knows about the capabilities of their soul.

Now, to more present times. Basically after the barrier broke, and the monsters began to be more accepted, the secret clan came out of hiding, big reunion, he became friends with the main Undertale group, got introduced to the multiverse through Sans, and went like: Oh my gosh, I must EXPLORE! :O (She got this device from someone from the multiverse to help her navigate between the universes and stuff) It basically became their new hyperfixation, learning everything there is about the multiverse, AU’s, the people in it, outcodes, secrets, all that stuff.

And, here it comes, that includes Fresh and his secret. She learned it from one of his survivors. And she absolutely believed it, I mean, it's the multiverse! Anything is possible! Though she kinda did it by nagging and begging him about it, so he made her swear to never tell anybody, ESPECIALLY Fresh, for fear he will get him. So she took it to heart. Though that's kinda what she would do anyway, why would she out herself like that…

Overall, he appears meek and naive. But they know more than she lets on. Is very kindhearted too. Just wants to have fun.

Anyway, one day, there's Fresh. He's looking for a new host. And look, there's a naive lonely skeleton with a powerful soul which he can sense! How can he not pick them as his new host? So he decides to gain her thrust and befriend him, in order to later possess him. Arial, of course, suspects this, but goes along with it anyway because that's what she would do normally, if she didn't know. But also, they know that if push comes to shove, they can handle it. She knows what her soul is capable of, after all. She knows that ultimately, it will adapt with time, and overcome it. And they're lonely, so, can you blame them?

And what happens for a good while is that basically he doesn't know that they know, and they know he doesn't know! On one hand, you have Arial, that's just vibing, trying to enjoy the friendship in spite of Fresh’s true intentions, on the other, you have Fresh that's convinced he’s fooling them. Pretty funny, huh? They especially like throwing ambiguous parasite hints. It always throws him off guard.

But eventually, they had enough of not knowing if it all was actually genuine or not, minus the parasite stuff. They told him they wanna talk, in this serious solemn voice, at which Fresh wondered: "What’s da matter broski? :("

She asked him:

"Hypothetically, if you had a specific harmful ulterior motive for this friendship and I secretly knew but didn't mind it, as long as the friendship part is genuine, would the friendship part still be genuine?"

Fresh's shades would darken, perhaps because he's starting to catch on, as he wondered how he should answer to this. If this truly was what it seemed, that would mean they knew from the beginning, and they still befriended him. It was hard to believe. He answered, going back to his cheerful attitude:

"In that purely hypothetical situation, if you truly didn't mind, I would totes go for continuing our super rad friendship my friendo! :D It could definitely still be genuine in that sense. Why you asking?"

She would immediately hug him. "Dang that's such a relief! I appreciate that so much." He would be surprised at the suddenness, but after a moment would awkwardly hug back. "Dun' mention it dawg."

Arial would lean back, and start rambling, explaining how they knew what he was from the start and why they still wanted to be friends with him, how for reasons she'll get into later, possession isn't as bad of a thing for her than for others, how he empathized with the reality of Fresh's existence as a parasite and how inherently tragic it is, and how they don't mind being possessed in the future as long as it's when they're ready and on their terms.

And well, that's quite a lot for our poor Fresh. Not only did he get the confirmation of what he suspected but had a hard time believing, but found out someone actually understands and empathizes with his situation, and is okay with him possessing them in the future. It was, bizarre... He didn't know how to deal with it. His initial reaction was to consider them foolish for it. After all, how could someone be friends with a literal parasite? He had trouble admitting it but, it did feel kinda nice. Neat. And he can't refuse a willing host! (it was actually more than neat but he wasn't ready to confront that)

"Huh. Dat's great, buddy. I- You're really fine with me possessing ya?"

"Yeah, in the future."

"Why?"

"Wellll, y'see, I'm not exactly your average monster skeleton. I'm a human monster hybrid, actually, a powerful one. I'm kind of an anomaly, really, cause my soul basically has the theoretical potential for power stronger than all 7 human soul kinds combined, but since my body obviously can't handle all that, it just gives how much is currently needed and adapts. That's why, even if you were to possess me, while at first it would feel just as horrible as for any other typical skeleton, with time it would gradually adapt to the possession, eventually even allowing me to fully gain back control by producing more energy than you can control. I would rather share the body though, so don't worry about me not letting you in control."

That, of course, surprised Fresh quite a bit. He could sense that their soul was quite powerful, but he could never guess to that extent. Arial was a dang long lasting powerhouse for him. He was looking forward to possessing them.

"You're gonna wait until I'm ready though, right? You're not gonna push me into it when I'm not fully comfortable with it yet, or worse, possess me without my permission?"

"Heh, alrighty, Imma patient guy, I'll totes wait." -He was tempted though.

"Just some additional motivation, remember that eventually after I adapt to your possession I'll be able to easily take back control whether you like it or not, so it wouldn't be wise for you to not treat me right and then regret it after I'm able to gain back control and treat you accordingly." -He was no longer tempted.

...

"Anyway, how is your host btw?"

"My host?"

"Yeah, I mean like are they relatively okay? How are they doing? Cause like, I don't wanna just ignore their existence while being buddy buddy with THE parasite that's possessing them!"

"..Well, dey aren't up an' doing da worst, dats for sure! Dey still got a few months in dem."

"A few months until you leave them so they can recover, or a few months until they die?" They look at him sternly

"Da first one."

"Okay good. How are they mentally?"

"They've gotten used to it by now. Dey're actually surprised at someone acknowledging their existence and well being for once!"

"Of course I acknowledged them, they are a person too after all, just like me or you! Just because they're a host doesn't mean their experience isn't valid. In fact, both of you are valid, you for needing to eat, your host for still absolutely hating it."

Fresh chuckles

"Dey sure are excited about you, broski. U have an eye opening way of looking at things,, I like that about you"

"Thanks.. :>"

And so, they became friends, for real this time, and did many fun things. Like that one time when they went to a playground, and just had honest fun! The best part was the merry-go-round, she dared him to try to make her dizzy by spinning her very fast, and of course, he just couldn't pass up the challenge! He was doomed from the start though and they knew it, because they're pretty much immune to spinning (Like me!! I love spinning very fast, it doesn't make me dizzy at all c:) They even threw their head back to make the effect stronger, and laughed through it! (I do that ehehe :>) The only problem was the centrifugal force nailing their back to the backrest railing, but she could bear it. Then they switched roles, and she tried spinning him very fast, and the whole time he was sitting seemingly nonchalantly, his expression not showing any signs of distress, at least at first glance. They couldn't really see it cause they were spinning him very fast, but he sat there considerably more stiff than normal. He was feeling the effects, he was just hiding it well. Later he’d deny any accusations of him being dizzy.

Another time, they asked him if he could be all creepy and stuff, and he was like eh, sure! And went all creepy at them, lowering his sunglasses and looking at them with this creepy hungry look, and Arial was like: "Ohoho, jeezz, wow! I love it." It reminded them of why Fresh was friends with them to begin with.

Fresh raised his brow. "You do?"

"..Yeah."

Fresh smirked "Well ain't dat an interesting revelation! Never thought somebroski would like dat side of dear ol' me."

Arial stuttered "Well uh, I kinda do, because I know I can trust you. Like, I like that kind of fear, when I know I'm not actually in danger."

"Ya like fear?" It was quite a bizarre concept for Fresh, to like the primal instinct that lets you avoid danger.

"When I know I'm in a safe environment."

"How?"

"It's thrilling. It gives me an adrenaline kick, while the knowledge that I'm not actually in danger acts like a safety net."

"Huh." ...A smile crept on Fresh's face, at which something in Arial's nonexistent stomach stirred. He was certainly intrigued. He never expected for this friendship to allow him to act creepy and intimidating. He was fully prepared for it to be all fluffy wholesomeness. But this... This was certainly an interesting, entertaining development.

And thus, playful scaring was added to their list of fun time activities. Fresh can be both fun and friendly, as well as scary, and she loves that. She likes that contrast, how it amplifies both sides and mixes with each other. (Heh, it's one of the reasons why Fresh is my absolute favorite character)

Or! Or! The time when they had a sleepover. They played games, sung songs, had a pillow fight, all that stuff. They even made themselves painted nails by using glue on fake ones! Arial's first painted a row of colors that created a rainbow gradient, then crackle black, then white hearts shaped using a thin wire, and of course top coat, and it looked something like this:

Fresh's were these colors more or less:

But with a bunch of fun stickers on that I'm too lazy to draw.

It ended with them cuddling on the couch with a bunch of blankets and pillows, and it was very comfy.

So comfy in fact, Arial decided to bring up an idea they had some time ago.

"Btw, if I were to summon and temporarily offer my soul to you, under the condition that you wouldn't take too much and completely devour it, of course, would you be able to feed off of it without possessing me?"

"You would offer your soul like that to me?"

"As long as you're gentle with it."

"I promise."

And so, Arial summons their soul, and gives it to him, which he held gently. At first sight, it looked similar to other monster souls. It shone significantly brighter though, and had hints of rainbow on the edges. It was beautiful. Fresh was mesmerized by it.

After a while of him just admiring it, he started gently brushing against it's surface with his phalanges, channelling comforting intent. For Arial, it felt incredibly relaxing and nice. He continued to do that, gently rubbing it, caressing it, focused on the task, at which Arial practically melted into the blankets and pillows.

Unexpectedly, he slowly raised their soul up to his mouth and licked it, using his parasite tentacle as tongue, at which Arial let out a surprised yelp and a garble of confused sounds, as Fresh looked right at them with a knowing smile. It felt... Weird, for them. Confusing. Vulnerable. Intimate. And yet, exciting and dare I say, weirdly enjoyable??? Like, there was a subtle sting to it, but it didn't feel bad somehow??? Combined with his gentle touches, it just acted like a bit of spice added to the experience. They didn't wanna admit it to themselves, but it felt stimulating. They were a blushing mess of jumbled thoughts and emotions. (They have a pastel rainbow blush btw)

Fresh chuckled at their reaction, and asked:

"How did that feel?"

Arial just whined, having trouble expressing their complex thoughts and emotions.

"Good?"

"Yes and I don't know how to deal with that!!"

Fresh chuckles. "Dun worry bae. Just relax and enjoy yourself." He runs his boney thumb over their soul again.

They take a few deep breaths. "Okay. Okay. Fuu- Jeez, okay. You can continue."

And he did, and it felt amazing. Arial was laying face down in the blankets, letting out soft quiet noises which he very much enjoyed. Their reactions were captivating. He liked tasting their soul too, it was sweet, with a high concentration of their emotions.

After a while, he returned their soul to them. They were a bit stunted, their soul still beating fast.

"...Wow...."

"How are ya feeling?"

"Good, I think. That was... Certainly something. Wow..."

Fresh hugs them from the side. "I realz liked the taste of yo soul broski. Could up an' taste your feels."

"Haha, cool..."

After a moment, Arial adds: "It was really fun though. I didn't expect for it to be this... Y'know."

"Your reactions were hella captivating dude."

Arial rubs the side of their vertebrae. "Yeah, I get that."

Fresh chuckles. "You're one odd cookie."

There's a moment of content silence, which Arial breaks: "We should probably do that regularly, yeah? To let my soul get used to the drainage."

"Sounds like a plan yo. I'm looking forward to tasting more of your magic dawg."

"You really liked it that much?"

"Yeah, homie!! It was rad sweet and powerful. I could even taste your emotions, and that's unusual. Your short term energy levels must depend a lot on your emotions."

"So you could taste what emotions I was feeling in that moment?" Arial looks to the side, slightly blushing.

Fresh pokes their cheek. "Yep! Tho I didn't need dat to tell that you were enjoying yourself."

Arial groans, flustered, at which Fresh chuckles.

"How about you describe yo thoughts throughout dat experience for me?"

"You already know my feelings, you wanna know my thoughts too??"

Fresh just grins in confirmation

"Ughh, you're such a tease! Finee.....

At first it was very relaxing and nice, I was practically melting under your touch. And then you decided to suddenly lick it, without any warnings, and it funking- aaghhg, it felt- I don't even know how to describe it, and it frustrates me so much!! I hate not being able to describe what I'm feeling."

Fresh listened with amusement. "Take yo time."

"I guess, it was very surprising. I was like: Aaahh, what is happening, what is this, why is this, what am I feeling right now, it technically stings a little and yet it's weirdly enjoyable, like what?!?? Really, it felt less like a sting, more like an electrifying sensation that added some spice to the experience. Made it more intense, but not in the negative direction, even if I was disoriented by it."

Fresh nods. He could vaguely tell what their feelings were at that moment, but it was more of a general vibe than an exact description, so he happily drank the new information Arial was giving him. Like, they felt all that. Cause of him. He made them feel that way. Something stirs in Fresh at that.

"Well broski, that's quite the feelings you described. I'm happy to be the one that caused them in you though.."

"Haha, cool..." It seems to be their go to response when flustered.

They lean into Fresh, yawning. It seems the exhaustion in Arial finally begins to set in after that drainage. Very enjoyable drainage, but still, drainage. Nothing a good sleep can't fix though.

Fresh smiles, much more softly this time, and runs his hand over their skull as they're falling asleep. Is he getting attached? -he thought. That's thought unsettled him a bit. No, surely not. It's all part of the deal. -he justified it to himself, and stopped thinking about it for now.

Anyway, they started doing that soul licking thing regularly. After quite a few of them, Fresh even surprised them by mixing it up and adding multiple tongue-tentacles to the mix, rather than keeping it one, and boi that was a fun one. Just picture that image in your head.

If I were to describe their relationship, I would say, queerplatonic, since their friendship exceeded what is typically considered a friendship by now I think.

Anyway when it comes to the possession that's a few months into the future, it was... Rough. But not as bad as it could have been. They were sitting on the couch at Arial's place. Fresh, having already taken off his sunglasses was like:

"Ya sure you're ready for this?" Feeling kinda bad for the pain he's going to inflict on them after they became so close. Arial at this point, was sure of this, because she wanted to help him, and because he didn't want to keep his host waiting any longer. "Yes." -He said

"Alright. Don't fight it." He gently cupped their face with his hands and leaned into them. They spent a moment just staring into each other's eyes, before Fresh linked their foreheads together and entered through their eyesocket, leaving his previous host barely conscious and dazed, just laying there, rapidly falling into unconsciousness, leaning against the side of the couch. Poor guy needs the sleep. As his true form was hanging out on the inside of Arial's bone structure, it didn't feel bad for them, actually. Not yet. It felt hella weird and bizarre, but not the bad kind. Kinda nice even. ..But then he grabbed onto their soul and began taking over, and then it hit. It was agonizing. Arial held onto themselves tightly, wincing and crying in pain, desiring comfort very strongly. Fresh picked up on that, and hugged them in the mindscape, rubbing circles onto their back in a comforting manner.

"There there broski. You're doing so good. Just focus on da hug and try to relax for me, m'kay?"

Arial buries their face into his chest and hugs him tightly, shuddering. Gosh they needed this. It helped a TON, and eventually relaxed enough for him to take over. He could do it by force, of course, but it would cause unnecessary pain for them, and he could totally spare some time to comfort them first.

When Arial became aware of their surroundings once again, they could see their room, and Fresh's previous host laying unconscious next to them on the couch. It still kinda hurt, but not as bad as the first moments of the possession. And It felt weird, to not be in control over their movements anymore. They immediately imagined a self image of themselves in their mind, which they could control, unlike their real body, for some semblance of autonomy and expression. They trusted him though, so they believed it'll be alright. Fresh chuckled at their immediate usage of their imagination. They sure were imaginative!

He stood up and lifted his previous host bridal style, planning to drop them off where he found them.

"Are they gonna be alright?" -Arial asked in their mind

"Totes. Dey just need a lotta rest!" He Fresh-poofed to the universe his host originated from and left them somewhere safe.

"Are we just gonna leave them here, and not even wait until they wake up?"

"They got close ones to take care of them, and I don't want dem seeing me"

"Oh, alright, fair."

Fresh poofed back to Arial's place

"Alrighty my homie! Time to pick out a radical new fit yo!" Arial was excited, and definitely helped a lot with their eye for art, style, and aesthetics, even picking out their own accessories that fitted the fit, a lot of which they made themselves. (Which are actually my accessories, I didn't just made them up) After a lot of experimenting, the fit looked let's say, somewhat like this:

But with more details like goofy necklaces and lots of colorful bracelets, including handmade Aroace and Agender bracelets, because coincidentally it fits both of them.

Fresh took them for his usual shenanigans and adventures, and it was fun. (Just imagine that Arial is the host when you see that kind of fiction or art with Fresh, like I did)

Eventually though, they take a chill at a random hotel, laying on the bed. With Fresh giving back control to them, it didn't hurt as much. Having his true form woven around their bones felt.. comforting, actually. It was nice. They were glad he trusted them enough to give up control over them for a bit. They wished to pet him.

"Pet me?" -Fresh asked. This of course required a lot of trust, to let them touch his fragile vulnerable form.

"Yeah." They responded in a soft voice. Not an ounce of bad intent.

"Okay." He partially crawled out of their ribs, and she started gently running their phalanges over his tentacles. It was a nice moment of peace, and comfort. Felt nice for Fresh too.

A good few weeks into the possession, there was a moment when Fresh was listening to some music, and played 'Sailor Stars Song (full)' specifically, cause he likes Sailor Moon, and it was like a massive wave of nostalgia and memories washed over Arial, their soul responding in kind. Y'see, Sailor Moon was their favorite childhood show (mine too), and Sailor Stars was their favorite opening song (mine too), and they haven't heard it in such a long time. That's why they reacted with such big emotions. And with emotions, their soul produced more energy, enough to smoothly slip out of Fresh's control and start moving along to the music, without even thinking about it. Fresh was startled, and a bit unsettled, because hosts taking over usually means bad things for him, and they aren't supposed to do it so easily! He calms down after he realizes they just wanna vibe to the music and mean absolutely no harm to him though, and recalls the time when they already told him that's how their soul works. When Arial noticed they were in control, they started passionately singing along to it and dancing, tears running down their face out of nostalgia and happiness. Once the song ended, they started gushing over how much they loved Sailor Moon, that it was their favorite childhood show, and Fresh was like: "You love Sailor Moon too?? Sick! B-D"

"Wanna binge watch the entirety of Sailor Moon 90's anime?"

"Of course I do broski!"

They proceeded to binge watch the entirety of Sailor Moon 90's anime, and specials.

[To be continued. Someday...]

#fresh sans #fresh!sans #fresh parasite #undertale #undertale au #utmv #utmv au #original character #oc character #rant post #fanfic #???#I guess..#it definitely has fanfic like parts #suggestive #it's not full out sex scene but it gets spicy at one point #they're my blorbos fr #I love them #I hope someone enjoys this as much as I do

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dialovers-translations · 4 years ago

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DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD OFFICIAL VISUAL FANBOOK ー Interview Vol. 2 feat. Nao Nakamura

Source: DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD Official Visual Fanbook

Release date: 2013

Huge thank you to @keithvalentinex for providing the raw scans!

SECTION 1: Q&A

Q1. When was the series’ sequel decided on?

A: Around the time the first game ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’ was released in stores. We were fortunate enough to have already received news of an anime adaption at the time, so at some point we played with the idea of creating a fan disc to go along with it. However, if possible we wanted to hype up the series even more in anticipation of the anime’s release, which is how the production of a ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD’ series came to realisation.

Q2. Did you plan on introducing a set of 4 new characters during the early phases of development?

A: The initial draft we received from Rejet-sama mentioned four characters. We figured that with that amount, we could pack it into one game and create an equal amount of content as we did for the Sakamaki’s, so we proceeded with said idea. At one of the first brainstorm sessions, we casually dropped the idea of creating a game with 6 Do-M characters... (lol) However, that would stray too far away from the core concept behind ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’, so it obviously got rejected. (lol)

Q3. How did you go about writing the characters’ dialogue and actions?

A: I believe that the previous installment can be regarded rather groundbreaking within the genre of otome games. However, the boys coming across as too strong to the point where it would prevent someone from delving deeper into their character is something we reflected upon. We wanted to make up for that this time and created this game with the intend of exploring them even further.

Q4. What did you struggle the most with while writing the script?

A: This doesn’t apply solely to the script, but the fact there are so many romanceable characters in this game is what made it so difficult. However, we did not want there to be a difference in quality between the different characters’ routes. Despite our strong wish to please the playerbase, it made the distribution of time very difficult. The writers would first pen down the script, then Rejet-san would do the proofreading and make adjustments and then pass it on to us. However, reading a script while playing a game or simply reading it on paper is still different, so we were making minute changes down to the very last minute of development. We ran through the same process for the last game, but this time around, the total amount of content was just very large. We once again felt the struggle of putting in so many characters to choose from. However, we did this to create an even better game, so it was worth the struggle.

Q5. Which character caused you the most problems while writing the script?

A: All of the Sakamaki’s. The four Mukami brothers who make their appearance in this installment may be Vampires, but they were once human just like the heroine, so in terms of emotions, they tend to sympathize with her more. As a result, it only makes the Sakamaki’s seem even more like they are the villains of the story. While this may seem obvious given their original setting of being both ‘Vampires’ and ‘extreme sadists’, it makes it very easy for the otome game element as well as the feelings they end up developing for the heroine to be lost, in which case they would no longer be the six brothers we wanted to deliver. Therefore, it was very difficult to convey to the player that the love they harbor for the heroine eventually makes them change, while still preserving the sadistic tendencies which stem from their nature as Vampires at the same time. The player base has spent quite a bit of time interacting with these brothers, and I am sure it was not always easy, but I hope said message was delivered to those who played our game.

Q6. Is there a character who underwent drastic changes compared to the last game?

A: All of them are still the same at the core, so my impression of them did not change depending on the scenario. I believe minor changes were done to the way some of the characters are drawn, but personally I perceive each character as a mix of both their previous and current representation.

Q7. In this game, each section is divided into a ‘Situation Part’ and ‘Story Part’. Could you explain your intentions behind this?

A: When collecting feedback on the previous game, we received many complaints about the different chapters feeling inconsistent and all over the place. However, we always intended ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’ to be a game in which the player gets to enjoy these different kind of ‘situations’, so without losing this part of the enjoyment, we figured we had to make the plot progression easier to grasp, which is how the current structure was implementend. To make it even more clear to the player, we divided it into two sections and gave each of them a title, changing the names as well.

Q8. What are parts which have greatly improved or parts you want us to focus on in comparison to the first game?

A: To ensure the player gets to enjoy the development in the heroine and characters’ thoughts and feelings, we applied small adjustments till the very last second. We hope that the people playing the game will take notice of this as well.

Q9. Why do you think the series has received such a great amount of support?

A: I believe the impact of the ‘Do-S Vampire’ concept, Satoi-san’s eye-catching illustrations and the charm of the cast who voices the characters all play a big part in this. Furthermore, I also believe that the simultaenous announcement of both drama CDs and a game which took place during the early stages of development had a large influence as well. We were able to make a smooth transition from the release of the CDs to the release of the games, which made it easier for the fans to follow along with the franchise. We truly are grateful for that!

Q10. Were there any ideas you wanted to incorporate in this game, but were unable to do in the end?

A: This game features the same selection segment as the previous one in which scenario’s 1 ~ 6 raise your love meter, while scenarios 7 ~ 10 raise the SM meter. However, we implemented the distinction between the ‘situation part’ and ‘story part’ this time, so it might have actually been even more enjoyable if the situation part raises the SM meter instead...I think. Those kind of features may vary depending on the vision of the director and staff members, so I would like to use this experience to think of various possible routes for future installments, as well as to settle on an end product which is fitting for the franchise. Furthermore, this may seem like a task without an end but I believe that the voicing plays a big factor in delivering the story. It is a vital element of conveying the message you want to tell, in a way that whether or not the player understands the plot is often highly dependent on the voice work. Every time I find myself wanting to perfect this, but it is difficult to supervise all of it just by myself...However, there’s always next time, so I’d love to squeeze in the time to thoroughly check this!

Q11. Do you have any more games planned for the series at present? Would you personally like to create more sequels?

A: We do not as of now, but if there is a strong demand for it, we might just be able to develop another game. Personally I would like to make a stereotypical ‘fandisc’ but the very first thing that comes to mind with those is a 'sweet, romantic story’ so I do struggle a little envisioning how that would play out with a cast made out of nothing but intense characters.

Q12. Please leave a message for the fans.

A: Thanks to the support we have received from all of you, we were able to create so much content for this franchise. I put my heart and soul into this game, so I sincerely hope that many people will enjoy it. Your impressions and encouraging messages are a great motivator as well, so I am eagerly awaiting those! The series may deliver new installments in the future, and to ensure that you all can continue to enjoy ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’, we will continue to try our hardest together with Rejet-san, so we’d be happy if you could send us your heartfelt support.

SECTION 2: THEIR FAVORITE EPISODES

Sakamaki brothers: The final few chapters of Ayato’s route left a strong impression on me. I couldn’t help but wonder if somebody could truly be that stubborn and in denial about their own feelings, insistent on calling the girl they love ‘a prey’ till the very end. I felt so frustrated when the heroine’s feelings just wouldn’t get through to him, tears welled up in my eyes.

Mukami brothers: The part which gave me the most goosebumps during the development stages has to be Ruki’s Manservant Ending. Takagi Sakurai-san did a magnificant job portraying his silent madness, it was truly wonderful. Second place would be Azusa’s brute ending, even though I knew how the story would go, I still ended up feeling a little depressed by it, so please be careful when you play this scenario...

SECTION 3: NAO NAKAMURA CHOOSES ー SITUATION-DEPENDENT CHARACTER SELECT

Who would you choose in these situations? What’s the developer’s opinion?

S1. To sleep together with?

Best: Subaru, I feel like he has a good sleeping posture.

Worst: Subaru, he might not move around much in his sleep, but it’d still be uncomfortable and narrow in that coffin, huh?

S2. To go on a trip together with?

Best: Shuu, I’m sure he’d just loaf around the lodge all day, so I get to enjoy the trip in whichever way I want!

Worst: Laito, I’d rather keep my distance from him.

S3. To eat together with?

Best: Kou because I’m sure he’d happily gobble it up.

Worst: Kanato, I feel like the food would be lacking in nutrients.

S4. To study with?

Best: Ruki, I think he’d do a good job explaining everything accurately.

Worst: ???, honestly all of them...

S5. To go on a date with?

Best: Yuma, I actually think he would make for a great boyfriend.

Worst: Shuu, because everything would be a chore to him...

S6. To play a video game with?

Best: Ayato, he just seems like the type of guy you can always have fun and make some ruckus with.

Worst: Reiji, he seems super fussy.

S7. To play sports with?

Best: Shuu, I don’t really like exercising so...I’ll go with the person who seems unlikely to exercise in the first place.

Worst: Ayato, I don’t like exercise after all...

S8. To go on a drive with?

Best: Ruki, I’m positive he would look handsome behind the wheel.

Worst: Azusa, it’d be bad if his bandages were to get stuck around the steering wheel or the gear stick...

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #diabolik lovers more blood official visual fanbook #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers fanbook #diabolik lovers interview #nao nakamura

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olivemac · 3 years ago

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1300 miles | chapter two | b.b.

Summary | Bucky Barnes is adjusting to civilian life, living in Brooklyn, visiting Sam in Delacroix when he can, and trying to figure out what he wants. When he meets Jo Landry, the tattooed lead singer of a New Orleans-based band, he thinks he might have found the answer. Too bad they live 1300 miles apart.

Time Frame | post-TFATWS

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x fem!oc

Rating | explicit

Warnings | mentions of combat-related injuries, alcohol use, tattoos/body piercings, coarse language, gay male character, bisexual female character, recreational/medicinal drug use (weed), pet names (doll, Sarge), smut (f/m, mutual masturbation, fingering, very very slight dom!Bucky, praise kink), angst if you squint but not really, and all the romance tropes/fluff because I'm a sucker for it; more warnings to come; 18+ ONLY, minors DNI

A/N | Likes and comments always appreciated. :)

series master list | AO3 link | full master list

1300 miles playlist

Tag | @mrs--barnes

_____

previous chapter

_____

Jo wakes the next morning to a text from Danny: Did you fuck the Winter Soldier?

She rolls her eyes and responds: Fuck off. He’s not the Winter Soldier anymore.

Danny replies with a leaf emoji and the words: Come upstairs.

Jo slides her glasses on and climbs out of bed. She pads into the living room as quietly as she can to find Bucky snoring on her couch with Toulouse perched on his chest. She can’t stop herself from snapping a picture with her phone.

Upstairs, she lets herself into Danny’s apartment. She’s met at the door by Greta, Danny’s PTSD service dog, a medium-sized German Shepherd who waits patiently for Jo to kneel down and scratch her behind her ears.

“Morning, pup,” Jo whispers.

“I’m out here,” Danny calls from his third-floor balcony.

“Coffee?” Jo asks.

“Cold-brew in the fridge,” Danny responds.

She detours to the kitchen before joining Danny at the small table on his balcony.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Jo asks. Danny always smokes the morning after a nightmare.

“They’re called flashbacks, and yes,” he responds, taking a deep drag of the joint.

“But they’re getting better, right?”

"Since you came back, yeah, they're getting better."

“Give me that,” Jo says, reaching for the joint. She takes a drag then exhales slowly. “You can always wake me up when you have a flashback, you know.”

Danny snorts. “I was afraid I’d wander into your bedroom to find you getting dicked down by an Avenger.”

“Please stop,” Jo groans. "You get that you're my brother, right? And this is weird."

Danny laughs, "It's only weird if you make it weird." Then he says, “Seriously, though, what’s the deal with Mister Tall-Dark-and-Handsome? I mean, if Sam trusts him, then he must be a good guy, but he’s literally a hundred years old, Jo.”

“He’s…” she pauses, “really sweet and charming underneath the brooding exterior. I really like him, Danny.”

“But?”

“But he lives in New York,” she whines.

“Yeah,” Danny says, taking another drag on the joint.

“‘Yeah?’ That’s all you’re going to say?”

Danny shrugs. “Some things are worth working for.”

Jo laughs, “Okay, why don’t you get back to me when you’re not high. I’m heading back downstairs.”

“Love you, Josiebean,” Danny says, using the nickname he gave Jo when they were kids.

“Love you, too, Daniel-San,” Jo replies. Danny laughs at the Karate Kid reference like he always does, and Jo kisses his forehead and pats his shoulder before leaving.

_____

Bucky wakes to the smell of coffee and bacon, his stomach rumbling at the scent. There's a warm weight on his chest, and when he opens his eyes he's greeted with the yellow stare of Toulouse.

He looks at his watch. It's a little after eleven. He usually wakes earlier, but he also doesn't usually sleep as soundly as he did last night.

He wanders into the kitchen in his borrowed sweats to find Jo standing at the stove in an oversized t-shirt, shorts, and out-of-season Halloween socks, her hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun. Her back is to him, and he takes the opportunity to study her naked legs. More ink peaks out from the hem of her shorts and covers most of her thighs. Bucky has the urge to drop to his knees before her and run his tongue over every intricate design.

Instead, he clears his throat, so he doesn't startle her, and she turns to face him. Her face is bare, and she’s wearing large, gold-rimmed glasses. Bucky can’t decide if she looks prettier like this or like she did last night, with her hair flowing down her back and her guitar in her hands.

"Morning," Jo says. “Sorry to shatter the illusion,” she continues, gesturing to her glasses and outfit.

Bucky smiles. He isn’t sure what the protocol is for greeting the woman you made out with and whose couch you slept on last night, but he decides he wants to kiss her again. He takes the few steps toward her and pulls her into his arms. This close, she has to crane her neck up to look him in the eyes.

“Morning,” he says. They’re so close and his voice is pitched so low that Jo can feel the word rumble in his chest. Butterflies erupt in her stomach.

Bucky leans down slowly and presses his lips against Jo’s. This kiss is softer and slower than the kisses they shared last night, and the heat that explodes in Jo’s lower stomach burns the butterflies away. Her fingers dig into his triceps, one arm yielding to her touch, the other firm against her digits. She sighs and opens her mouth to his tongue, letting him deepen the kiss.

He licks into her mouth, and Jo moans, her hands coming up to cup his stubble-covered cheeks. Bucky’s own hands slide down Jo’s back to her buttocks, pulling her hips flush against his so she can feel the effect she’s having on him. Jo gasps, and Bucky’s lips leave hers to trail wet kisses against her jaw.

When he pulls away, Bucky’s smile is almost smug. He likes all the sounds he’s able to pull from her, and he wants to hear more.

Jo turns back to the stove, catching her breath and trying to hide the flush she knows is rising from her chest to her cheeks.

“Breakfast — well," she looks at the clock on the oven, "brunch — is ready. Have a seat.”

Bucky places a final kiss against the back of Jo’s neck before sitting.

Toulouse rubs against Bucky's legs beneath the kitchen table. He reaches down to scratch Louie between the ears, and the cat lets out a contented chirp.

"He's usually not that nice to strangers," Jo says, watching the two of them from across the room.

"My sister had a cat growing up — big, fat orange thing that was missing half an ear. His name was Marmalade."

Jo smiles brightly and sets a plate of food in front of him. “Coffee?” she asks.

“Please,” Bucky says. “But I can get it.”

“No need,” she says, handing him a mug of fresh coffee. “You want oat milk? Sugar, maybe?”

“Black is good,” Bucky says, taking his first sip.

Jo sits across from him with her own plate and coffee cup. They spend breakfast talking quietly. Bucky likes the domesticity of it. He's gotten used to having breakfast at the Wilson's with Sarah, Sam, and the boys, but this meal with Jo feels more intimate. He has a brief flash of spending every morning like this, but he pushes it away as quickly as it comes. He's trying not to overthink whatever’s happening between himself and Jo. He’s not used to having good things in his life, but he wants to lean into this, take the risk.

"You said last night that you know who I am," Bucky says as they clear their plates from the table.

Jo is quiet for a moment, neatly stacking plates and coffee cups in the dishwasher.

“I may have seen a documentary or two featuring the Howling Commandos,” she says, closing the dishwasher and turning to Bucky. “And Sam and Steve may have crashed in Danny’s apartment for a couple of months when they were on the run following the Accords.”

Bucky is silent. He's staring at Jo with the same brooding intensity as last night, but there's something more in his eyes — a sadness she hadn't noticed earlier. She's seen that look before on Danny when he first came back from Afghanistan. It's the look of someone who's lost everything. But as quickly as it's there, it's gone.

Bucky clears his throat. “You knew Steve?” he asks.

“Yeah. I mean, briefly,” she whispers. “Let me show you something.”

He follows her into the living room where she pulls a box from one of the bookshelves. She empties the contents onto the coffee table; it's a handful of polaroids featuring varied combinations of Jo and Sam and Steve and Danny. Bucky sits on the couch and picks up one of the photos. It's of Steve with a German Shepherd; in the photo Steve is smiling brightly, and Bucky's heart aches at the sight.

"That's Greta," Jo says, sitting next to Bucky, "Danny's dog. She was just a puppy then. She adored Steve."

Bucky laughs through his nose and picks up another photo. This one features Sam and Jo sitting at a table in a kitchen that looks like Jo's but slightly different — Bucky assumes it's Danny's; Sam is clearly in the middle of a story, and Jo's head is thrown back in laughter. A stab of jealousy hits him in the chest — Bucky wants to make her laugh like that. He skims through the rest of the polaroids, finally landing on one of Jo and Steve sitting side by side at a piano, Steve's large frame dwarfing the woman next to him.

"He found out I can play a few '30s and '40s standards on piano," Jo says, smiling at the memory. "There wasn't a lot for him and Sam to do cooped up here for three months, so I taught him some basics."

Bucky stares at the photo for a while before he speaks. "You play piano?" he asks.

"I started on piano, took up guitar when I was ten, then bass when I was thirteen. I can also play drums, organ, banjo, mandolin, and a little violin," she says. "And I have a Bachelors of Music with a concentration in voice."

Bucky stares at her for a moment, then tosses the photo back onto the coffee table and reaches for Jo, pulling her onto his lap. She settles with her legs on either side of his hips and her hands on his shoulders.

"So, you have very talented fingers, then?" Bucky asks with a flirty grin.

Jo rolls her eyes and laughs, but she's secretly pleased with where this interaction seems to be headed. She was worried Bucky would feel like she had kept something from him by not telling him about Steve last night, but he seems to be taking it in stride.

"Thanks for showing me those photographs," Bucky says, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "He gave up everything for me back then, so it's nice to see that maybe he had a little bit of happiness during that time."

"He wanted the same for you," she whispers, nudging her nose against Bucky's.

Bucky kisses her softly, then pulls away, staring into her green eyes. Jo slides her glasses off and sets them on the coffee table behind her.

She drags a finger down his vibranium arm and asks, “Can you feel that?”

Bucky licks his lips. “Yeah. It’s—it’s different from the real one, but yeah.”

Jo hums in acknowledgment but doesn’t say anything else. Their lips meet again, and this time the kiss is longer, needier. Bucky sweeps his tongue into her mouth, and Jo is certain she's going to have beard burn across her face tomorrow. But she doesn't really care.

Jo slides her hands into Bucky's hair, and he sighs into her mouth when she angles her hips against his just right, pressing against him slowly. His grip on her waist tightens before he slips his vibranium hand down across her backside to gently guide her movements. His flesh hand covers her right breast, palming her through her shirt.

Jo's hands leave his hair to slide beneath Bucky's t-shirt. He pulls back from her slightly and puts his hand over hers.

“I have scars,” Bucky warns.

“Okay,” Jo mumbles against his lips, trying for another kiss.

Bucky pulls back again. “They’re not pretty.”

Jo looks at him. “Bucky, do you really think I care about that? Do I look like someone who’s worried about conventional beauty standards?” she jokes. She smiles softly and brings a hand up to cradle his jaw. “You don’t have to show me. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” she whispers, leaning in to kiss him again.

He pulls away from her mouth to tug the shirt over his head before he can overthink it. He’s gorgeous like this, and Jo wants to touch every inch of him. She starts with his chest, and her fingers dance lightly across the scars on Bucky’s left shoulder before she presses a quick kiss to the spot where flesh meets metal. Bucky smiles at the gesture, then his lips are on Jo's neck. As he sucks a mark into the place where her neck meets her shoulder, Bucky slips his flesh hand beneath the fabric of Jo's shirt.

Bucky's thumb slides across her nipple, and he pauses, warm metal against his digit stopping him. Jo can feel Bucky's fingers against her breast, trying to work out what exactly he's touching. She leans back, her hands on Bucky's chest to keep him from following her and pulls her t-shirt over her head.

Bucky's fairly certain his heart stops at the sight before him. He’s not sure what to look at first: the small gold balls that adorn either side of Jo’s erect nipples or the intricate floral design inked on her sternum between and below her breasts, framing them perfectly.

“So…I have my nipples pierced,” Jo says, taking Bucky’s staring for hesitation or confusion.

Bucky licks his lips. “Fuck,” he mutters before running his thumb across her right nipple and taking the left one between his teeth.

Jo hisses and bucks her hips harder against his cock. He's hot and hard beneath her as she grinds against him. The feeling he had last night – of being on fire – has returned, but it's tenfold now. Every thought of taking things slow, every bit of doubt has evaporated in wake of his need to please Jo.

Bucky grips Jo's waist and flips her onto her back on the couch, coming to rest between her open legs.

“Is this okay?” he asks, pressing his bare chest against hers. His dog tags are cool against her skin.

“Very," she breathes.

Bucky's lips find Jo's again before trailing across her jaw, down her neck, and over her breasts. He lets his tongue explore one of her pierced nipples before taking the bud between his teeth and pulling slightly. Jo gasps, and her own hands slide from Bucky's shoulders down his chest and across his stomach, her blunt fingernails scratching against his abs as she goes. She palms his cock through his sweats, and Bucky's hips stutter. His eyes clench shut like he’s in pain, and he pulls away to catch his breath.

"Sorry," Jo says quickly, removing her hand. "We can slow down."

"No," Bucky all but growls, then takes another deep breath and opens his eyes. "No. It's just been," he pauses, "it's been a while since I've done this, and you're kind of driving me crazy, Jo." He lets out a breathy laugh, then seems to sober. "I just—I, uh, need to be in control of some things. If that's okay."

She smiles her understanding before kissing him, softer this time. Bucky leans into the kiss and sweeps his tongue into her mouth, tasting her. He props himself up with his vibranium hand, and his right hand moves back to Jo's breasts, teasing each nipple in turn.

"Tell me what you want," Jo says as Bucky's teeth bite gently at her pulse point.

Bucky presses his lips against Jo's ear and whispers, "Touch yourself. Please. I want to watch you fall apart."

Jo whimpers. She catches the look on Bucky's face as her hand travels down her body and into her shorts. His pupils are blown wide, barely a hint of blue visible around black. She knows her own eyes look much the same.

She hisses when her fingers meet the bundle of nerves between her legs, then slide lower. Bucky can't decide if he wants to watch her hand beneath her shorts or her face. He settles for moving his eyes between her face and breasts, watching them rise and fall with each breath she takes. Finally, he lowers his head back between her breasts and traces the outline of the tattoo there with his tongue. Jo moans and bucks her hips.

Bucky presses his own hips against the couch, trying to find the smallest bit of relief. He's not going to last. It's been too long since he's been with someone this way, and his body feels like a live wire. He reaches up to push the fabric of her shorts aside, moaning when he realizes she's not wearing anything beneath them.

He feels Jo's fingers pull away, and he growls, "Keep touching yourself." She does, her fingers rubbing hard circles into her clit. "Good girl," Bucky praises, and Jo keens, Bucky's name falling from her lips.

He slips his own fingers inside of her. She's so wet and warm, Bucky is afraid he'll finish just from this. Or maybe it will be the sound of her moans that do me in, he thinks. Because she sounds lovely, better than she did on stage last night. And she feels perfect wrapped around his two digits. He adds a third, and Jo's whole body tenses. Bucky can feel her warm heat tighten around his fingers as her legs bend and draw in closer to her body. The sight of Jo coming pushes him over the edge. He's spilling into his sweatpants like a teenager, and he doesn't even care. All he can think of is the sound of Jo, the feel of Jo, the look on Jo's face.

Bucky collapses onto Jo's body, his full weight resting on her for a second before he props himself up again and looks at her. She's smiling sleepily, a slightly dazed look in her eyes, and he can't help but admit that it makes his ego swell to know he can make her smile like that.

"That was..." he starts.

Jo hesitates, then runs her fingers through his hair softly. "Good? Great? Amazing?" she says.

Bucky breathes out a laugh and rests his head on her chest for a moment. "All of the above," he replies. Jo hums, and Bucky continues, lifting his head again to look at her, "You're fucking perfect, doll."

Jo laughs, and replies, "You probably say that to all the girls, Sarge."

Bucky sobers. "No, Jo, I don't. Really." He brushes a strand of hair from her face. "When I said I haven't done this in a while, that was an understatement," he says. Dr. Raynor told him he needed to open up, nurture friendships (or whatever this is turning into), so here he goes. "I wasn't really planning on this happening — not that I'm not glad that it did..." He pauses.

"But you live in New York, and I live here. And we just met,” Jo finishes.

"I don't know how things like this work these days," he says. He's looking at her with such sincerity that Jo thinks her heart might burst. "I told you I wanted to do this right. Dinner, flowers, the whole nine yards.”

Jo cocks her head to the side and smiles. "Let's start with dinner."

_____

They lay in silence for a while, Bucky's head resting on Jo's naked breasts, her fingers running through his hair. Jo's starting to think he's fallen asleep when Bucky speaks again.

“I should probably go,” Bucky says reluctantly. "Sam was expecting my help with the boat today."

"I'll drive you," Jo says. "Just let me get dressed."

"You don't have to do that. I can call a cab."

"Delacroix's, like, an hour outside the city. It'll cost a fortune. Let me drive you."

Bucky hesitates, but Jo nudges at his right shoulder gently until he agrees. He presses a soft kiss to her lips before he stands and offers her a hand. While Bucky moves into the bathroom to change back into his own boxers and jeans, Jo slips into her room. She comes back out wearing jeans and a vintage Lilith Fair t-shirt; she's traded her glasses for contacts. Jo shoves her feet into her combat boots at the door and turns back to kiss Bucky quickly before they leave the apartment.

_____

The drive to Delacroix is quiet except for Jo's Paul Simon playlist thrumming from the car speakers. Bucky thinks he might actually like the music. Or maybe he just likes listening to Jo sing every word.

When Jo pulls up outside Sarah's house, Bucky turns to her from the passenger seat. “I don’t have your number,” he says.

“Give me your phone," she responds, smiling and holding her hand out.

Bucky unlocks his phone and hands it over. Jo saves her number before texting herself so she has his, as well. She deletes the text conversation and hands his phone back.

"There you go, Sarge," she says with a wink.

Bucky leans across the car's console and wraps his vibranium hand around the back of Jo's neck. He pulls her close and presses his lips against hers gently. Jo responds by running her fingers across the stubble on Bucky's jaw and sweeping her tongue into his mouth. A moan rumbles through Bucky's chest, and he tries to move closer to Jo's body, but he knocks his knees roughly against the center divider.

"Shit," he curses, pulling away. "It was easier to kiss a dame in the front seat of a car in the '40s," Bucky complains.

Jo laughs. "Kissing a lot of dames in cars, were you?"

"I got around," Bucky says, a grin on his face.

He feels like himself around Jo – not exactly the person he was before the war, but close. He almost feels like he could be a better version of that man; he wants to be that for Jo. For now, though, it's easy to flirt and laugh with her, watch her eyes light up and her smile brighten.

"I believe it, Sarge," Jo teases. Over Bucky's shoulder, she notices Sam standing on the front porch of the house. "I think I've stolen you away from Sam long enough," she says.

"Please, doll, steal me away anytime," Bucky flirts. He kisses her once more. "I'll see you Tuesday," he whispers, his hand lingering on her cheek before he climbs out of the car.

“Looks like someone had a good night,” Sam laughs as Bucky ascends the front porch steps.

“We are not talking about this,” Bucky grumbles.

“Oh, we’re definitely talking about this,” Sam says, clapping Bucky on the back.

______

next chapter

#bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #sergeant barnes #bucky barnes x oc #bucky x oc #bucky barnes x ofc #bucky x ofc #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes romance #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fluff

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komahinasecretexchange · 4 years ago

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Title: maybe not star-crossed (but daybreak)

Author: @fieldofsunflowers8

For: @emmakoneko

Pairings: Hinata Hajime / Komaeda Nagito

Additional Characters: Kamukura Izuru, Nanami Chiaki

Rating: M

Warnings: No specific warning applies beside the ones that could be applied in Danganronpa in general

Prompt: Hajime realising he loves Nagito.

Author’s notes: hi!!! this is my exchange piece for the komahina secret exchange!!! this was super super fun to write, and i really hope my giftee likes it! special thanks to my friend for looking over this and making sure it’s coherent :D have a good day, loves!

Hinata Hajime is not a romantic, but romance fills his thoughts anyway.

It’s an identifier that isn’t exactly of importance, of course. Romance on Jabberwock Island, specifically in the aftermath of the Neo World Program, is something privately kept by each individual pairing. Occasionally, it’ll be the subject of harmless speculation on the slow days, but overall, it is just… a part of life.

A part of life that most of them never got to fully experience.

A part of life that Hinata doesn’t necessarily need to have a piece of.

A part of life that he wants, all the same.

He isn’t certain if it’s the influence of Kamukura on him that makes him hesitate in the face of it. The other is a lull in the back of his head most of the time, diminishing everything to uninteresting, and yet seamlessly taking control when Hinata gives the slightest hint of needing help, slipping into the role of the Ultimate Talent easily. It’s a difficult dynamic, and it would be a lie to consider it a linear sort of thing– lines blur when you are made to become another person, and further, residing with that person in the headspace.

Hinata wonders if, before it all happened, back at Hope’s Peak Academy in the suffocating reserve course dorms, with little to hope for… he maybe pined after romance in a desperate way, if he wanted something to break the suffocating silence, if it would all really be any different to him now.

It’s not something he needs right now, which is what he tries to convince himself matters the most. He has enough overwhelming quiet, and even more overwhelming noise. He has tasks to commit to– even though all of the Remnants have awakened, there are Future Foundation members to call, emails to send, resources to manage, buildings to reconstruct, surgeries to conduct… it keeps him busy, to say the least.

(He hardly allows himself more than the clinical, repetitive process of healing. Not his own healing– that is far from the forefront of his mind. Rather, constructing robot arms and extracting rotting body parts and starting up chemotherapy. For the others. Not him,

never him.)

Prioritizing romance is selfish, in all cases. Putting it before himself and everyone on the island, losing himself in the want of something he isn’t even sure he could recognize, if he saw it in front of him, if he had a flickering chance of love… it’s selfish. Excess. A lapse.

However, there is still a kind of yearning he keeps in the back of his mind, in the endlessly swallowing part of his throat, in the throes of his heart. A sort of fixation, solely focused on a single individual, who keeps him awake through restless nights and sends him directly to the infirmary for more work, who leads him to discover new places on the island that the person tends to frequent, who leaves him with an unfamiliar warmth that his body rejects like a disease because love is not-

One that defies all his wants and needs, all his thoughts on relationships and the others, all his thoughts on the person whom he thought he hated more than anything.

One fixated on Komaeda Nagito.

And this is where his doubt is born.

–

The first time he hears the name Komaeda Nagito is in a time before the seeds of despair were planted by his hands, before The Project became more than just a whisper of Hope’s Peak conspiracy and research. He hears it from Nanami Chiaki, before she became just a program, before an entire class gave into despair at the sight of her death.

He hears it from her at the fountain. Their fountain, he has taken to calling it, because while they aren’t exactly the only people to come here, they are most certainly the two students who frequent it the most. Before, it was a place to admire Hope’s Peak from a distance (one he maintained out of respect, or maybe self-hatred, or maybe an amalgamation of both), but after meeting Nanami, the cynical tones of the setting were replaced with a sort of safe haven.

It’s now comforting, for him, to hear the sound of her game starting up against the sound of rushing water, leaves and blossoms fluttering around them as the sun lights up the campus around them.

In all honesty, it’s easy to get lost in the surroundings, in his own thoughts, especially when he has the space to. Nanami rarely presses any matter, unless it is something she’s particularly passionate about, so Hinata zoning out isn’t exactly an issue for her. It’s not like she doesn’t do the same. Which leaves them with a pretty nice relationship, because either of them are free to completely lose themselves in their thoughts without having to make small talk.

However, he does jar himself back to reality to pay attention to the game she’s playing– it’s a survival game, which is sort of exciting, because that’s the kind of video game he thinks he’d be best at– and listens to the soft breath she always takes before she starts to speak.

“Do you know a lot of Ultimates, Hinata-kun?” is what she asks, her voice as dreamy as usual.

It’s sort of a harsh question unintentionally, since it sort of nags at the parts of him that wishes he could be an Ultimate, would do anything to be an Ultimate, but he shoves that down and keeps his voice casual. (It’s not a big deal, anyway. Nanami affirms him of his worth a lot, and really, he should just… accept that things are the way that they are. But it’s really, really not that easy. Not when everything seems to loom above him, dangling promises of talent and hope).

“Uh, not really?” he answers tentatively. “I mean, I know Koizumi, and I sort of know Kuzuryuu because I’m friends with his sister.” Friends is probably not the right word for it, but being her friend is pretty much impossible. “And I know you, of course. But, I dunno about the others.”

“Mm,” she hums. She focuses back on her game for a while, and Hinata focuses right alongside her, but she ends up speaking again only a few moments later. “I was just thinking… a lot of my classmates would really like you.”

“Oh?” He leans forward, just a bit. “I don’t really know much about them, but maybe?”

It’s not really relevant, in any case, or possible, because I’m a reserve. So, why do I want to entertain this impossibility?

“Well, I can tell you about some of them.” There’s some passion in her voice, underneath the languid sort of pace her words take.

He shrugs. “Sure.”

She opens her inventory as sort of a pause screen, organizing all of the items while talking. “There’s Mioda-san. She’s… sorta loud, but she’s the Ultimate Musician, so that makes sense, I think. She’s really optimistic, she likes bright colors… reminds me of a dancing game… you’d get along with her, probably.” The idea that Hinata could be friends with someone like Mioda Ibuki is unsettling in a hopeless way, but he’s interested in the descriptions regardless. “She gets along well with Pekoyama-san, who’s the Ultimate Swordswoman. She’s really pretty and quiet; she’s defensive over Kuzuryuu-kun, too. Like a Skyrim housecarl, kinda. I remember Komaeda-kun saying something, once, and she was immediately at Kuzuryuu-kun’s defense. I don’t think Komaeda-kun meant it badly, though.”

Hinata tilts his head. “Who’s Komaeda?”

Nanami bites her lip, stacking some potions before saying, “He’s the Ultimate Lucky Student. He’s… sort of an outcast, I think, but he cares about the class a lot. I wish he would talk to us more.” She puffs out her cheeks in a cute way. “You might like him… but you also might hate him. Maybe.”

“Why would I hate him?” From what Hinata’s hearing, maybe dislike would make sense, but hate sort of implies he would have done something… really off.

“Mm… Komaeda-kun has strong views on talent and hope. It might annoy you, but…” she sighs. “I dunno.”

That’s a vague description, but it gives Hinata enough information to sort of… make inferences. Of course, Hinata sort of expected some Ultimates to view talent as superiority, and he knew that some of the adults believed it, but to hear it being an actual thing from someone his age… sort of sucks. At least the rest of the class seems to not agree with it.

But… is Hinata really sure of that?

In any case, he tunes back into the way Nanami continues talking about her classmates, about a sheepish mechanic and a princess she seems to have a slight crush on. He laughs along with her, listens with intrigue and fascination at some of the things her class has done and somehow not gotten expelled for, and feels the sense of peace grow overtime (alongside his quiet bitterness).

All the while, though, part of his mind thinks about Komaeda with a… weird sort of interest.

(And for some reason, Hinata wants to both avoid him as much as possible– which might be a bit harsh, admittedly– and also… maybe meet him.)

–

Hinata doesn’t sleep well.

His sleep patterns vary. Sometimes, he falls asleep in a random place– he’s been found on the floor of the dining hall and at the beach, once, both instances embarrassing– and stays asleep for the better part of a day, barely brushing below twenty hours as he restores his energy. Then, he pushes himself, neglecting rest for three days straight until he downright collapses again.

He tends to get nightmares, too. When he’s sleeping deeply and for a long time, it’s not enough to jar him. When he first woke up from the Neo World Program, though, they were relentless, leaving him paranoid and guilty constantly for all he has done to his friends– his family, now.

His family that he needs to stay awake to care for. His family he has to keep intact– physically and mentally.

(He remembers that, for a week, all he saw in his dreams was a burning warehouse.)

He doesn’t sleep well, working on restocking and labelling all the medications they have in the infirmary, and he finds that none of the others sleep well, either. Some sleep too much, some function on caffeine and nothing else. But there’s one other person on the island that varies with Hinata, not exactly the same but similarly.

Komaeda.

Hinata’s been monitoring Komaeda’s progress closely, almost closer than the way he fusses over the others. Komaeda’s health is precarious, even with the rotting flesh of Enoshima’s arm fully removed from his body, and one of the facets of his lifestyle that directly impacts his not-ideal progress is his shitty sleep schedule.

A simple example: he falls asleep at 4:00 PM, wakes up at around 7:29 PM. He goes to the dining hall, all of the other inhabitants having finished dinner and retired to their rooms for the later parts of the afternoon, and eats a worryingly small portion of dinner. He goes to his room, stays up for hours, and falls again the following day at 10:00 PM, successfully bypassing lunch and repeating the process.

It’s horrible in every possible way– it doesn’t do wonders for his prognoses and mental health, and Hinata doesn’t like the dark circles under his eyes that grow more familiar with each progressing day.

(It doesn’t suit his face. Because, well, Hinata can acknowledge that Komaeda is very, very pretty. But the shadows are… worrying. He still looks beautiful, but he looks more fragile than he’s ever been, even in the green pods, and Hinata wonders why he’s worried in a way beyond medical observation.)

However, there is one benefit to it, a meek silver lining that could hardly be considered one at all: Komaeda and Hinata end up accidentally interacting quite a lot. Komaeda follows lights– buildings with fluorescents open, signalling that Hinata is currently occupying them– and Hinata follows the soft sounds of Komaeda hanging out at the beach, throwing rocks into the ocean or tripping on some ridges and yelping.

The latter ends up happening when he exits the infirmary and sees in the distance a white-haired man face first on the beach shore, and he sighs in a way that isn’t fully exasperated as he walks over to help him out (maybe fond, maybe fond).

Komaeda tilts his face, his cheek still buried in sand, and looks up at Hinata. He decisively accepts his help, straightening himself out and brushing the sand off his pants with a smile. His voice is cheerful– far too cheerful for 5:00 AM– as he says, “Good morning, Hinata-kun! I’m so sorry you had to see me in such a disgraceful way!”

Hinata rolls his eyes. “You weren’t disgraceful. You just tripped. Also, why are you even out here?”

Komaeda’s lips curl slyly. “Do you even have to ask, Hinata-kun?”

“Ah.” Fair enough. “Well, you should, uh, try to get some sleep.”

“Will Hinata-kun get some sleep?”

It’s equally frustrating to talk to Komaeda and get him to do anything… and interesting. There’s also a bit of heat that wants to pour into his cheeks, something he fights with a poker face, at the idea that Komaeda cares about his sleep schedule. Technically, a lot of people on the island do, but it all comes back to the inexplicable feelings he has around the other. In any case, Komaeda’s due for an answer. “I was actually heading back to my cabin to do that.” It’s sort of a lie. Sort of.

(He was probably going to lay awake, staring at the ceiling again. Maybe he’ll think about the other, maybe he’ll think about everything else.)

“Can I come with you?” Komaeda asks.

Hinata squints. “… Why? How would that help either of us sleep?”

“It could be relaxing to be near another person,” Komaeda defends, his logic slightly flawed. “But I understand that being around me is absolutely dreadful, and I shouldn’t impose even the disturbing thought upon another person. I apologize for that, Hinata-kun! I’ll get out of your sight, now!”

“Wait,” Hinata finds himself saying before Komaeda can actually leave. The other stops and looks at him, a curious but not demanding expression in his murky grey eyes. It’s sort of cute. Hinata isn’t sure why, why he looks at the other in that way.

It’s with a defeated sigh that he says, “You can come with me,”

and Komaeda’s eyes light up in a way that’s really, really endearing.

–

The first time he meets Komaeda is a month after his conversation with Nanami.

Stress has settled onto his shoulders, making a permanent residence there, as exams approach at increasingly rapid paces and life-changing emails chase him forward, forward, forward. He finds little enjoyment in his spaces between classes, isolating himself up in his room and hardly having time to reply to any of his friends (not that there’s an overwhelming number of people on that list). Occasionally he takes a break, but these times just remind him that he has so much to do, so much to consider, his entire life might change with a few signatures and-

-he needs a breather.

He ends up leaving half-finished history homework on his tiny desk, nearly tripping over his laundry bin in exhaustion as he makes his way out of the dorms. He figures a small walk might do him some good, since he’s hardly seen the sun as of recent and it might be less intimidating to think through things when he has fresh air to breathe and the soft ambience of nature surrounding him.

He hums to himself for the first part of his walk, careful to stay out of the way of others, but he eventually falls into silence as the number of people around him dwindles. He’s tired– he’s so, so fucking tired– and he should probably be adjusted to fatigue and restless nights, since he’s not exactly new to overworking himself, but he hasn’t. Not fully. And God, he’d probably kill for a nap, for someone to hear him scream everything he thinks, to go to a completely different school for a few days and relax.

But would he even want that? Would he know what to do with so much free time? Would it even be okay, going to a place that would view him as equal, not endlessly lesser than another sector of the school? Would it even make sense to be worth something, when he has spent so long not being worth anything?

It’s in this rumination that he ends up near him and Nanami’s fountain, and he almost expects to see her there…

… but instead, he sees someone else.

The Main Course uniform is the first thing he sees, the red tie loose around the Ultimate’s neck, their jacket still buttoned properly. They must have been out there for a while, since their white hair, unruly atop their head, is slightly ruffled from the wind. Their grey-green eyes that remind Hinata of mercury he had seen in chemistry class is focused on the pavement, but looks up when Hinata’s footsteps grow closer. On their face, there’s a pleasant smile, one that Hinata finds strikingly pretty…

… one that disappears when they make eye contact with Hinata.

He can’t say he expected anything other than this.

“I thought reserve course classes were still in session,” they muse, which is an interesting conversation starter in any case. Paired with the way they were almost glaring at Hinata, it left him with… an unsettling feeling.

“They, uh, aren’t,” he replies eloquently. “They ended a bit ago.”

“Ah.” They smile, slightly, but it looks… more cold than friendly. “Can I get a name? Or should I just refer to you as ‘reserve-kun’?”

Hinata quickly decides he doesn’t like this person. “Uh, Hinata Hajime.”

They nod. “Komaeda Nagito.”

That name is… kind of familiar.

Oh. Oh. That’s the name of Nanami’s classmate. The Ultimate Lucky Student, who has strong views on talent and hope, if he remembers Nanami’s words correctly. Someone that Hinata would either like or hate– and it is strongly veering towards the later– someone who is a bit of an outcast. Someone who Hinata isn’t sure if he should have a lot of pity for, or none at all.

He’s heard more stories since, ones where Komaeda is a background character. He’s gotten the vague idea that aside from his unsettling opinions, he also tends to be an overall concerning individual, with a shocking inferiority complex, calling himself trash near constantly. It seemed to worry Nanami, which in turn worried Hinata.

But from the way this guy is talking, it doesn’t really seem like this guy feels inferior at all. At least, not compared to Hinata. Which is…

… not surprising.

Hinata isn’t really sure how to progress the conversation, especially one that started this oddly, so he figures he should make do with this new information, asking, “Oh, you know Nanami, right?”

“Nanami-san is my classmate, yes.” He tilts his head to the side and sits up a bit straighter. “You must be the reserve she’s friends with, then. In retrospect, I remember she’s mentioned your name once or twice. I thought she was kidding.”

Yeah. Hinata definitely doesn’t like this guy. “Well. She wasn’t.”

“So it seems.”

This conversation is going nowhere. “Well, I’m gonna go. And, uh. Finish my walk. So-”

Before Hinata can leave, Komaeda speaks up. “Don’t you feel awe, Hinata-kun, walking around Hope’s Peak, looking at a school filled with such hope and talent?” He punctuates those words, wrapping his arms around himself and looking up at Hinata. “Doesn’t it put you in your place? Knowing that you’re a stepping stone for hope, just here to further the Ultimates’ abilities? Isn’t it beautiful, so beautiful that you know you’re unworthy of it? Do you have another purpose aside from this, or do you put your value in mindlessly pacing the perimeter of Hope’s Peak Ac-”

“What the hell are you even talking about?” Hinata interrupts. This guy looks really worked up over the random bullshit he’s saying. He’s managed to get under Hinata’s skin really fast– which, yeah, Hinata has kind of a temper, but Jesus Christ.

This must be the whole concerning thing.

Komaeda just smiles wider. “You’re rather disrespectful for a reserve. Shouldn’t you be worshipping me? I mean, I’m utterly worthless in every possible way and deserve to be destroyed like the filth I am– but at least I’m an Ultimate.”

Hinata gives up, walking away from the other and running an agitated hand through his hair. He can hear Komaeda laughing raspily, still at the fountain, and it just forces his steps to go quicker.

(The most aggravating part of all of that is that it hurt. It shouldn’t– the opinion of a slightly-unhinged, annoying, pretty Ultimate shouldn’t hurt him. But it did.

Because there was some truth in that mess of shit he was saying. Hinata is inferior. Hinata would always be inferior to the Ultimates he looks up to– not as much as Komaeda said, but still. The whole being a stepping stone thing, he didn’t get, but… he is unworthy of this place. That much is true. That much hurts.)

He decides, without much hesitation, not to mention the encounter to anyone.

–

“Uh, make yourself at home, I guess,” Hinata says when Komaeda steps into his cottage, his eyes wide as he looks around the scene. Which is fair– Hinata hasn’t exactly had time to clean the place, and he’s sort of a restless sleeper, so it’s a shitshow of a mess, as of current. Komaeda’s room, from what Hinata’s seen, is a lot neater than this, so hopefully he isn’t all that judging.

(Not that Hinata really cares about Komaeda’s thoughts on his cabin.)

“Thank you, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda replies politely, sitting on the edge of the bed. Hinata sits beside him, and they both ignore the bed sheets that are tangled at their feet. “Once again, I apologize for intruding.”

“I invited you,” Hinata points out.

Komaeda frowns a bit. “Well, yes, but-”

“I wouldn’t have invited you if I didn’t want you here. I don’t exactly do things out of pity or kindness when I’ve been awake for over a day,” he states bluntly.

The other stares at him with a weird expression in his eye, something like understanding. “Ah.”

“Yeah.” Hinata kicks the sheets. “Speaking of.”

“Are you going to sleep, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda sort of teases, but there’s a level of seriousness in it. Hinata sort of hates the way the other makes him feel like he’s fucking up by neglecting himself (which is sort of an oxymoron in thought, but). It’s something Komaeda has always done– made Hinata feel like a fuck up, that is– but it’s sort of different, now, when it’s more of a constructive criticism than a blatant attack.

He’s not sure how he feels about the change.

“I was going to talk about you sleeping, actually,” he retorts, clearing his throat.

Komaeda smiles mischievously. “Did you invite me here just to watch me sleep? How flattering, Hinata-kun, but I assure you I would not be able to do harm to others or myself whilst asleep.”

“That’s,” he takes a deep breath, “not what I meant.”

“Ah, okay. Sorry for assuming!”

“It’s fine?” It sounds too much like a question to his ears, but. Whatever. “I just meant, like. I’m sort of concerned about your health.”

“This doesn’t seem like the mood to discuss this,” Komaeda observes.

Hinata blinks. “Was there a specific mood set by any of this?”

Komaeda looks unimpressed. “Hinata-kun, we’re in your room at 5:00 AM, spending time together. I don’t think this is ideal for a medical visit– especially considering how exhausted you are. I thought you were more trying to be a person than a doctor, right now.”

… There’s some truth in that. There’s some pain in that. Hinata doesn’t try to be inhuman in any way, but he knows, deep down, that it’s a difficult task to accomplish. Months of conditioning combined with the instinctual drive for survival resulted in Kamukura’s eternal boredom and apathy to manifest as a defense mechanism, one that Hinata employs in situations that aren’t necessarily defense-requiring. Like administering medicine, or investigating his own psyche, or trying to breach any topic with Komaeda.

He hates it, but it’s part of him, neither nature nor nurture. Just… a trait, forced upon him, one he has to adapt to.

“Hinata-kun?” Komaeda’s smile is thin. “I apologize for overstepping!”

“It’s fine.” He sort of has a headache. Maybe he should sleep. “You’re right. Sorry.”

“Ah, Hinata-kun doesn’t have to apologize! He can do whatever he likes! I still appreciate him regardless!” he reassures enthusiastically, in an almost adoring way.

… And. The thing is.

Hinata has been viscerally aware of Komaeda’s attraction to him ever since he awoke from the Neo World Program. It didn’t take overwhelming amounts of self reflection and memory analysis to realize that Komaeda has had feelings for him, ever since the Despair Era, when neither of them were the person they are now or were before it all began. It’s present in Servant’s endless worship and Komaeda’s subtle (and sometimes, less subtle) affections.

It’s something that Hinata thought, initially, he could just… accept. The fact that the other likes him is simply a fact of life, like the fact that this same individual is still suffering from frontotemporal dementia and lymphoma, like the fact that the other has trauma neither of them can even begin to impact, like the fact that Hinata is privy to entirely too much about the other that he’s hardly aware of.

This is why his yearning and fondness for Komaeda, despite his conflicting thoughts of romance, takes him by surprise. The idea that Komaeda’s affections could be requited is a shocking concept to both of them, one that might be earth-shattering or simply a natural progression of their current behavior. It’s a thought that he keeps in the back of his mind, primarily, believing that not much can be done until Komaeda heals.

And yet, it surfaces in the quiet moments like this, where Komaeda has that energetically adoring expression, where the moonlight accentuates his face in a pretty way that will only get more beautiful with daybreak, where Hinata is just staring at him mindlessly. It surfaces like this, and Hinata wonders, to himself, if he loves the other.

If this is how it comes to him.

“Hinata-kun?”

Or maybe it’s just a lapse.

“I’m tired,” he replies, which isn’t a proper response but it is the only thing he can find himself saying, right then.

Komaeda nods and starts to stand up, “Ah, okay! I apologize if I bored you, I know I can tend to do that. I hope you sleep well, Hinata-kun-”

Hinata catches his wrist.

“Maybe,” he inhales. “You can stay? And sleep beside me?”

Komaeda’s face shifts, emotions spreading across his face like auroras, but they’re quickly stifled by another smile, one that seems a bit more genuine. “Ah, of course! Whatever Hinata-kun wants.” He takes the eagerness Komaeda exhibits while taking off his shoes and scooting to the center of the bed as confirmation that Komaeda wants this as well.

It’s odd how Hinata has the courage to ask something like that, despite everything.

Hinata draws the curtains closed, hoping that the sun won’t wake them up, and he slips beside Komaeda in bed. The other adjusts well to sleeping in someone else’s bed, all things considered, but he looks fairly stiff all the same. Hinata knows there’s nothing he can do to change his slight discomfort– anything he could do would be a bit too courageous, and he’s already expressed a lot of bravery considering that he’s more contemplative than rash, at the moment.

So he lays down beside him, facing the other who faces away, and he finds himself tracing the contours of his body (innocuous and entirely unrelated to medical concerns), the way his hair curls against his nape, how his hands lay at his sides. It calms him to study the other, and he wonders if that is love, if all of this is love, even if he has a thousand other concerns.

It takes a pathetically short five minutes before he says, “Komaeda…?”

“Yes, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda still sounds awake. He wonders if he was planning on sleeping at all.

He breathes out a soft exhale. “Can we talk?”

–

He does not see Komaeda again until after despair overcomes the world.

But by then, both him and Komaeda are separate people. The memories prior to the creation of himself– Kamukura Izuru, that being– are vague and only documented in a diary that Hinata Hajime struggled to maintain. And Servant, while not suffering direct memory loss of everything regarding Hope’s Peak Academy, does not appear to want to verbally recall anything regarding the school to Kamukura. This could be from lack of trust. This could be his nature.

They meet in a bloodied street, bodies scattered across the asphalt in an unpleasing way. From an aesthetic standpoint, it is disgusting, but Kamukura does not necessarily dislike it. He does not dislike anything.

He only finds this despair base.

Servant’s hands are dirtied from crusted blood, which is to be expected. His hair is awry, his face in a considerably tormented frown, and his attire is dirtied aside from his chain that drags obnoxiously loud on the pavement.

Kamukura clears his throat.

His face shifts drastically when he sees Kamukura, which is the most interesting part of his appearance, as of current, and he immediately drops to his knees. It is certainly an interesting display, yet predictable, and Servant’s voice is raspy when he says, “Kamukura Izuru.”

“So you have heard of me.” That is understandable. The only reason Kamukura is at this location, after all, is because Enoshima requested prior to her death that Kamukura take ownership of Servant. She had considered it a present to him, but Kamukura finds nothing to be a gift, especially when it is at her hands.

One of her hands is severed and attached in place of where Servant’s would be. Expectable.

“You’re the Ultimate Hope,” he breathes. “I- I have been looking for you-”

“How convenient,” he cuts off his likely obnoxious rambling. He does not want to hear about his godhood from the lens of a worshipper. “As I was looking for you.”

Servant’s face flushes. “You were looking for me? Ahaha, I’m sure you must be mistaken.”

“Enoshima stated that in her death, you were to be my property. Transitive ownership.” His face twists at the sound of her name, which is not necessarily expected, but can be easily explained retroactively. “You are mindlessly idling, as of current. You plan to travel to Towa City, but have not done so yet. You have killed seventeen people directly in your time of being a Remnant of Despair, but you are growing bored.”

Despite his wide eyes and droll expression, Servant is clever enough to catch on. “You would like me to travel with you, Kamukura-kun? I warn you, I am useless in every possible way and unworthy of your presence.”

Kamukura glares at him. “I will determine that.”

“… Understood.” Servant hesitates before standing up, and there is shocking amounts of excitement in his expression. “I apologize for being overeager, I’ve never travelled with someone like this before. Someone like you before.”

“That is to be expected,” Kamukura says as he begins to walk, stepping over corpses with grace as the Remnant beside him trips and stumbles, babbling about despair and hope and talent all the way.

From there, an attachment forms. They continue to travel in this manner, relocating from place to place with little but each other’s companionship (and what they can find, in this cataclysmic scenario– assorted piles of canned vegetables and month-old water bottles). Along the way grows learning, basic answers to questions that benefit both of them only slightly, though prove to be boring, as Kamukura does not have a favorite color or movie or food. But the basis of small talk leads to a more expanded exploration of morality, of death and life and the liminality of such matters, philosophy and physics and their prediction for where the world will be.

Kamukura discovers, then, that Servant is not capable of matching him in intelligence. However, he nears close to having this ability, exhibiting his cleverness in a distinctly separate way than how Enoshima enforced her analytical prowess upon her victims. It is refreshing, to have this difference. It is refreshing, by extension, to have him.

That is how the evolution of their relationship begins.

Sexual ties between them have been present from the start. Servant is poor at concealing his overwhelming attraction to the other, and Kamukura has curiosities he was not interested in exploring with Enoshima. Thus begins tumultuous, albeit safe to an extent, exploratory intercourse, which Kamukura finds not particularly boring.

Then becomes an inherent domesticity in residing together, in sharing beds (although, Servant only allows himself to sleep beside Kamukura if he is particularly in pain, that day. Kamukura does not necessarily mind if Servant continues to sleep beside him, but it is a matter of principle that is tedious to undo, especially with no distinct want to commit effort to it). Along with sleeping together, there is having meals together, defending each other from robotic Monokumas when it becomes necessary, and even reading together.

It is all not particularly interesting. It is all not particularly boring. It exists in a grey area that Kamukura struggles to define.

He dislikes struggling.

There is a particular day, once, that he would consider lucky (were he to indulge in this thought towards Servant, the other would likely break down) due to the numerous realizations had. The primary one, and the most convoluted one by far, is the realization that he is perhaps infatuated with the other.

It comes whilst Servant is asleep, his body bare aside from the marring of bruises and hickeys, thin sheets layered in dust resting atop him. Kamukura observes him from where he sits at the edge of the bed, admiring the way the red sky highlights Servant’s body in an almost rosy way, porcelain skin glimmering with red contours that made the Ultimate Artist in Kamukura transfixed. Part of him desired to reach out and trace his body on impulse– and it would not be the first time he sought touch out of poorly placed impulse. However, he refrains.

A small part of him– a romantic, likely, in all but practice– finds that touching him may, perhaps, detract from the natural beauty he exudes. It is not like Kamukura is anything other than manmade.

This is a thought that crosses his mind often. Rather, the latter is. However, with Servant in his life as a catalyst, the frequency of such thoughts rapidly accelerates, and he finds a sense of permanence in the other. Something he is rather interested in exploring, given the time. There are many, many inquiries he would indulge in, given the time.

They are not given time.

He had prepared an injection in advance, one to make Servant unconscious for approximately 48 hours. It is enough time to execute a procedure that would remove Servant’s memories of Kamukura, a similar procedure that he will attempt to repeat on himself (he has done thorough research into lobotomies due to his experiences. Even without this research, it would not be a particularly difficult task. However, his emotions pose a hindrance). He is aware that he should inject Servant now, as, according to his predictions and intuition, he has confidence in the fact that the Future Foundation will locate them within that period of time.

He would like to evade them. He knows he is able to, that he has a capacity to outwit them, that Servant would heed every command necessary to guarantee their survival. After all, there is no certainty in the prospect that the Future Foundation would keep them alive.

Despite this, Kamukura is… curious. He is intrigued as to what the Future Foundation will do, once they capture him and Servant, and he knows that they cannot evade the Future Foundation forever. They will grow bored.

It is regrettable, he thinks as he injects Servant with the serum, stroking his hair for purely selfish purposes as he does so. It is regrettable that they did not have infinite time together. However, Servant is dying to his own illness, and Kamukura is dying, metaphorically, to the boredom that he can not fully stave away, even with his agreeable companionship. It is poetic, in the same sense, that they will be captured and perhaps be executed before they could fully breach the barrier of worship and love, something Kamukura is not certain he could attain.

In all senses, it is over, and Servant will not remember him by the time he awakes in the grasp of the Future Foundation.

(A part of Kamukura recalls their first meeting with feigned nostalgia, remnants of the emotion that must have existed before his creation, and he wonders– or, cynically, he hopes– that he may meet the other again, and finish the life they began.)

–

Komaeda rolls over and smiles, slightly sleepy. “What do you want to talk about, Hinata-kun?” After a pause, he asks, “Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” he says with a little too much force. “I’ve just had some. Things on my mind. That I want to talk about?”

It’s sort of a half-truth, because it feels wrong to say that it’s been something on his mind. Because it has been, and it has been for a while– but he hardly knows if what he’s feeling is love, if it’s worth indulging in this when he has so much to work on. If he can even be certain of his thoughts at all.

But he wants to talk to Komaeda– maybe to get perspective, and finally decide.

So, he closes his eyes and starts talking. “I was thinking about the simulation, and before. More specifically, us.”

He can hear the bitterness in Komaeda’s voice when he says, “Ah. How I betrayed and belittled you?”

“Not exactly.” But it’s part of it. “… You said in the simulation that you were in love with me, right?”

There’s a pause. One that’s long enough that Hinata almost wants to open his eyes, but he needs to isolate himself in his thoughts temporarily, dissect the words and his feelings and come to a conclusion. It’s something he’s good at (but love isn’t survival games, or class trials. If they were, he would have figured this out a long time ago, back when Nanami was still around).

When Komaeda eventually speaks, it’s brief but telling. “… Yes.”

“And. You didn’t like me much before all of that, but… as Servant, you-”

“Worshipped and admired Kamukura-kun, yes.” He sounds almost nervous. Komaeda rarely sounds like this, and it’s almost enough to stop pushing. “… Why do you ask? Don’t you already know this, Hinata-kun?”

Hinata sighs. “Yeah, technically. But I’ve been thinking about it more, and…” he opens his eyes, now. Komaeda’s face is vacant– no smile, no frown, just a straight line that wavers if he stares hard enough. His eyes are filled with emotion he can’t uncover, emotions he doesn’t want to uncover. But… he watches them carefully regardless, makes note of how they shift. “We’ve had an interesting relationship, throughout all our time knowing each other. In our one encounter back at Hope’s Peak, we didn’t get along, and things in Despair were… intimate, yet twisted.”

“That’s one way to consider it,” Komaeda says, and it isn’t quite hatred in his voice, but something close. Something Hinata knows not to take personally.

“And. I’ve been thinking about where it leaves us, now. And– I mean, it’s something in the back of my head, but not really. Filling all my thoughts? It just sort of came up while we were sitting here, before I said we should sleep, and sometimes I think about it when I’m not working around the island. So it’s sort of…” a dormant thing, has been in the back of my mind forever because I put it there, because I didn’t want to accept that I like you, because I’m too afraid and I know you are too, but there’s something about you, something about this, and I’m curious to know where it goes- “Yeah.”

Komaeda nods. “I see.”

“I think you know where I’m going with this.”

There’s a silence. Then- “I’d rather not.”

“… Rather not what?”

He already knows, but he wants to hope, wants to hope that Komaeda will allow himself this, despite everything. And yet…

… “Rather not believe what you are implying, Hinata-kun.” And the bitterness is directed at him this time, but Komaeda has always tore at him claws to hide something else, whether it be personal insecurity or infatuation or fear. Hinata thinks it might be all three, now. “You are aware of my love for you, how you could use it to your benefit, how you could disregard me and I would-” his breath catches.

“Komaeda?”

“… hardly complain,” he finishes. “I would hardly complain if you used me, because it’s you. You’re aware that you could make this so easy– and you aren’t even certain of this. I’ve been certain ever since I knew you, even when I hardly knew anything about you, even when I stayed with you to wake up on that island, I knew. But you don’t, and you could make it so easy and just give up on me, because it’s not like I would love you less or hate you more, but you’re acting on impulse. You rarely act on impulse, so why are you…”

There are tears in Komaeda’s eyes.

“… When I first met you,” Hinata starts. “I thought you were pretty. An asshole, but pretty. In despair, Kamukura was interested in you, and he was bored of everything else, even her. And he knew your worship, and that was the most boring part of you, to him, because he didn’t like being treated like a god, not by you. And… and in the simulation, I remember the betrayal I felt when I knew one of the only people I trusted turned their back on me. And- and when I saw your corpse-”

Komaeda shakes his head, but Hinata doesn’t stop. “-When I saw your corpse, I was so fucking pissed, because you’re smart and fucked up and I almost missed you that trial, despite everything. And despite everything, now when I woke you up, when I had to run into the infirmary and out of it and had to do all those fucking psychodives to get you out, I thought it was worth it.”

“Hinata-kun.”

“I thought– I knew, and I know– that you are worth it.”

And even though Komaeda’s stare is intimidating, and even though Hinata’s so uncertain of everything right now, he’s confident in that.

He’s never been more confident in anything, actually.

–

When Hinata wakes up on an unfamiliar island, with an aching head and endless questions about his surroundings, he’s greeted by a stranger, with a slight smile on their face. They had slightly tostled white hair, cloudlike and wispy, that falls just above their dim green eyes, and they have a slender yet alluring physique that Hinata almost finds pretty, in his dazed state.

After they confirm that Hinata is awake, they introduce themself. “… I’m Komaeda Nagito. Nice to meet you.”

Hinata accepts the hand he offers him and stands up, brushing sand off his pants (why are they at a beach?) and replying, “Hey, I’m Hinata Hajime.”

Komaeda leads him around the island, introducing him to all the others that had left him behind, unconscious, on the beach (he can’t really blame him. He’s still embarrassed about how he just… passed out. At least Komaeda isn’t judging him for it). He offers his own quips and commentary about the island, one Hinata finds insightful, if not slightly odd at times, and he begins to develop a trust for the other.

Sort of. Because, well, it’s not like he can really trust anyone, when they all woke up on a random fucking island with no idea of what’s going on, aside from some random shit a rabbit tells them. But, for as weird Komaeda can sometimes be and the weird situation they’re in, he establishes him as trustworthy early on. Someone to rely on, even when everything goes to hell.

(And littered in there, far enough in the back of his head that he sort of forgets about it, he is sort of infatuated with the other. In a super base way– because he’s a teenager, c’mon– but, still. Komaeda’s pretty, and he’s friendly, and he thinks there’s some significance in that.

Of course, everything changes when the first murder occurs. When the trial happens, and truths are revealed. When everything spirals downwards for the rest of their ‘island vacation’, and Hinata realizes that Komaeda should have never been trusted at all.

… But he can’t bring himself to hate him, despite everything. Even when he’s faced with his corpse.)

–

There is a long silence that fills the room, after his admission.

It’s understandable, considering that Komaeda… has never quite had anyone stay by his side as long as Hinata has. He’s probably never considered the possibility of requited love or care of anything, has never been able to reconcile with the idea that Hinata wants to stay despite the fucked-up mess of trauma and disease his brain is filled with. He probably finds himself vacant, like Hinata does, sometimes, like every quirk about him that makes him distinctive and worthy of love is completely null, and that he is cursing Hinata by being around him this long.

It’s more fucked up than Hinata can sometimes conceptualize, but. As he said, it’s worth it.

Hinata breaks the silence, knowing that he should be patient with the other, who has had his mentality partially shattered in a brief period of time, but slightly worried that the progress they’ve made would fall at a stalemate in complete silence. “… Komaeda?”

“Hinata-kun.” His voice is both empty and emotional, and it leaves an ache in Hinata’s chest. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand, still. I’m not…” he trails off.

“You are worth it,” Hinata insists, because he knows the way that Komaeda thinks, knows where his mind is going. “We don’t have to do anything, or be anything, if you don’t want to. I just… thought you should know, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot, so. Thought it was worth saying.”

“Worth,” Komaeda echoes quietly. His laugh is at the same volume, raspy and choked. “I… I really like you, Hinata-kun, but I can’t let you endanger yourself.”

Hinata shakes his head. “Your luck can’t affect me badly, remember? I’m lucky too.”

“It has in the past. Before you remember. When me and Kamukura-kun were together, and how bad luck and consequent good luck would follow us around. He thought it was interesting. I knew we weren’t safe. And we weren’t.” He sighs, and Hinata wants to reach out and brush his cheek with his fingertips, ensure that he isn’t just a ghost. “If I hurt you, Hinata-kun-”

“You won’t,” Hinata argues.

Komaeda raises his voice, slightly. “But if I do, then I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Knowing that you chose to have something with me, despite all your responsibilities and all the risks I bring to you just by existing… it would kill me, Hinata-kun. I’m already dying and I’ve done it once, but… it would really, really kill me. I don’t think I would be able to lose you. I don’t…” He looks so tired.

Hinata reaches out, then, and intertwines their fingers. Komaeda doesn’t push him away, and he takes it as a good sign. “You aren’t going to lose me. And I know we can’t be certain of what’ll happen in the future, but… I think we deserve something good. So much bad shit has happened, and we’re healing and everything, but I think we also deserve to find something like… hope. In each other. Y’know? And, obviously, it’s only if you want. I’m not gonna, like, make you date me, or something.” He squeezes his hand. “But, I don’t want you to keep yourself from someone you want– something we want– out of fear. We’re not going to die, Komaeda. And even if we did… every second that led to it would be worth it.”

Komaeda’s eyes flutter shut. It hurt to see the pain in his eyes, but his scrunched eyebrows and shaky lip is almost worse. “I… I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you want to do?” Hinata asks gently.

“I…” he cuts himself off, thinking in silence as Hinata rubs circles into his palm. Eventually, his eyes open, and his expression is tentative and a bit scared, but Hinata can see some hope in it. It’s almost enough to make him smile, but he fights it off and waits for Komaeda to finish. “I… I want this. But, I don’t deserve it.”

“You want it,” Hinata reminds him softly, “and I want it. So, I think it’s okay for us to have, yeah?”

He hesitates, but eventually says, “… Maybe.”

“Maybe,” he repeats, and then he gives him a slight smile. “I can work with maybe.”

Komaeda responds with a fleeting smile, one that makes Hinata let go of his hand and tug him forward into a warm embrace. Komaeda’s face nestles into the other’s shoulder, and he can hear a muffled voice whisper, “I love you, Hinata-kun. I really do.”

A weight he thought would permanently be on his shoulders disappears, and he breathes out a long sigh of relief as he tightens his grip on Komaeda’s waist. And, with a voice that echoes himself through all of the years of knowing Komaeda, through the stress and irritation and curiosity and trust, in a journey that was just as much his as it was theirs, he says, “I love you too.”

Even after everything.

#komahina #komahina secret exchange #fanfiction

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secret-engima · 4 years ago

Note

Come to the Tree (There’s Joy Here)

Ooohhhh tricky one. Hmmmm.

I feel like it’s a Fairy AU of SOMETHING but I’m not sure what fandom to pick.....

....

BNHA.

An AU where all of the bullying gets to Izuku when he’s still a smol child and he runs away from home. He runs and runs and then trips and falls and it hurts and his hands are bleeding and its raining, so he hides in an old, overgrown and forgotten shrine with a big tree growing out of the roof. (Later he will realize that should have been a warning, because what place in his little Japanese suburb would naturally be that overgrown, and why had he never seen it before the moment he had lost all hope or will to live?) He stumbles inside, crying and wishing and bleeding, and when he huddles against the tree, wishing desperately to be somewhere else, someone else, something else, his bloody palm smears across the bark by accident.

And the world around him changes.

The world does not see or hear Izuku for a long, long time.

Years later, Toshinori stumbles through a suburb, looking frantically for a place to hide before he de-transforms because he forgot his time limit and what if there are WITNESSES. He spots a rundown shrine with a tree growing out of it and ducks inside. He staggers against the tree, coughing blood onto the roots and swearing softly. Eventually his breathing evens out and he straightens up, running a hand through his hair as he mentally scolds himself for losing track of his time limit. He turns to leave and walk home now that he’s safely transformed-.

“What is your wish?”

Toshinori spits blood in shock as he whirls. The young boy that is just- THERE, standing by the old tree doesn’t even blink, he just smiles and rocks on his heels, dressed in an old fashioned yukata with embroidered leaves on it, his hair a curly black-green and his eyes a bright emerald shade that is almost eerie to look at (a see in the dark quirk, perhaps, or an invisibility one considering he snuck up on Toshinori).

“I- I’m sorry?”

The boy tilts his head, still smiling placidly, “You didn’t make a wish. You can’t just leave without making a wish after paying such a high price.” The boy points and Toshinori blinks at the blood he coughed up earlier, drying on the roots.

Well. This suddenly got creepy.

“I ... you use blood to make a wish?”

The boy waggles a hand in a so-so motion, “It’s not required. Most don’t. The price for a wish varies. But if you give blood, you have to make a wish. The price is too high not to. So,” he spreads his hands, “what is your wish?”

...Oooookay?? Toshinori’s mind races, both baffled over what he just walked into and worried that the boy had been here when he transformed, “Did you ... see me come in?”

“Yes.”

Oh no, “And you ... saw me transform?”

“Yes.”

Oh. Oh dear. Toshinori comes up with an idea on the fly and smiles weakly, “I wish that you would not tell anyone about what you saw here today.”

The boy taps his lips with a finger, then shrugs and smiles, “That’s a very vague wish, but you already paid, so alright. Are there any other wishes you need?”

“Ah- no. No thank you.”

The boy nods, “Alright then. Have a nice day, Yagi Toshinori-san.” A blink and the world wavers and Toshinori is suddenly standing on the street, in front of an empty, paved lot. There is no overgrown shrine, no large tree, no smiling boy.

Thoroughly freaked out, Toshinori runs home to make some phone calls.

Naomasa checks the database, but there are no registered quirks that even begin to cover what he saw. Toshinori can only hope the boy keeps his word about Toshinori’s “wish”.

...

Hitoshi finds it next, frustrated and disillusioned with General Studies at U.A. but still stubborn. He sees the shrine out of the corner of his eye and thinks “why not, it won’t make his luck any suckier” and goes inside. He pats the tree with a hand, looks around. There is no place to leave yen anymore, the tree’s probably eaten it, and Hitoshi has no yen on him anyway. After a moment’s thought, he unhooks the little cat figurine clipped dangling from the strap of his book back and hooks it on a low branch, then claps his hands and mutters dryly, “I wish I had a different quirk.”

“Careful with a wish like that,” says the boy who Hitoshi SWORE was not there seconds ago, leaning against the tree and looking straight out of a history drama with his yukata and geta shoes, “I’m afraid that’s not a high enough price.” He frowns, “I don’t think you can afford a wish like that honestly. Do you want to try a different wish?”

Hitoshi gapes, “I- you- who are you?”

The boy just shrugs noncommittally, “I run this shrine. I grant wishes to make people happy, if they can pay.” He admires the little cat figurine with a faraway look that makes Hitoshi’s skin crawl, “It’s very pretty, but I’m afraid that’s too small a price for a wish like that. Do you have a different wish I could grant instead?”

Hitoshi keeps staring, then shakes his head to clear it, “You ... are you serious?”

The boy nods, his freckles catch on the sunlight filtering through the broken roof. Hitoshi has been in the foster system a long time, he’s seen some pretty wild quirks, enough of them he finally decides “why not, what’s the worst that can happen” and says, “How about ... I wish for the chance to get into the Hero Course.”

The boy spaces out again, humming softly, “Still a bit high ... but that’s a very nice wish.” He laughs and Hitoshi could swear the rattling leaves in the breeze laugh with him, “Alright! I’ll grant that wish. One chance to get into the Hero Course. But you know, it’s only a chance, if you want to grab it, you should stop being scared of yourself and train.”

Hitoshi bristles, “You don't have a quirk like mine.”

“No,” the boy agrees with a smile that borders on too-wide, “I don’t. But I wasn’t talking about that. You have legs and arms don’t you? Hands and feet and a clever mind? Use those. They’ll get you a lot farther than any quirk.” With that, the boy claps his hands-

And Hitoshi is blinking on the sidewalk, staring at an empty park rather than a rundown shrine.

He tells no one. But he does sign up to every extra martial arts and phys ed course U.A. offers, and even though it’s stupid to believe the strange kid ... one chance.

He won’t let it slip away when it comes.

...

And so it goes. One by one, more and more students of U.A., or teachers, or just people who need a hand catch a glimpse of the shrine out of the corner of their eye and if they wander in, they are invited to pay a price for a wish. Sometimes the price is too high for them to pay and they are turned away, sometimes the wish itself is rotten and vile and a moment later the person finds themselves out on the street with no memory of the shrine at all.

Hitoshi is a repeat visitor, at first for more wishes paid with toys and trinkets and a few manga, then later to thank the boy for the wishes coming true, then later still because the boy seems lonely and Hitoshi is grateful enough to want to make it up to him. He asks one day for the boy’s name, surprised to realize that they’ve been friends for months but he’s never heard it, and now that he thinks about it, the boy never leaves the shrine. He’s never seen him, and that green hair and eyes are fairly distinctive even in a world filled with quirks. The boy just smiles sadly, and says he doesn’t have one.

Hitoshi ... gapes. It takes a hefty wish to get the story, but in the end the boy tells it. Of being quirkless, of being afraid and lost and depressed and angry. Of running away in the rain, and stumbling inside the shrine with bloody hands. Of wishing to be SOMETHING else. The boy skips over what came next, but says that tree had been waiting for a wish granter for a long time, the old one had faded away as quirks rose and people stopped believing in wishes. But Izuku is from the age of quirks, he knows how to operate better, so he had a chance. He could be something else than a useless quirkless failure, he could be a Wish Granter, one who brought joys and gave hope to those who came to his tree and paid a small price.

But becoming a Wish Granter is a heavy, heavy wish and it required a heavy price. Even heavier than blood smeared on the trunk.

So the boy had paid for the wish with his name.

Hitoshi doesn’t understand how that is a high price until the boy explains. A name is a word. A word is useless without meaning. A word BECOMES a name when it is attached to someone, when people call someone that. A name gains power with memory.

And without that name ... memory fades away.

“You're telling me,” Hitoshi sputtered, “That you ... don’t remember ANYTHING?”

“Nothing before the day I ran away. I can remember that much at least. But I can’t remember what people called me, or where I lived, or what I was called.” The boy shrugged, “It’s okay. I like granting wishes. I like giving people hope when there is none, and making them happy. I don’t need a quirk to do that, and people don’t need a quirk to get my help. No one is too big or small for my wishes, so long as they pay, and they can pay anything as long as it’s worth what their wish is worth.”

And Hitoshi- Hitoshi can’t breathe. He can’t even-. He knows bullying. He knows how bad it gets, he’s lived it. But to be bullied so badly, over something he couldn’t help, that this boy (his FRIEND) would choose to forget everything just for a chance to matter and help people- that he would prefer losing it all to gain this one place and one thing-.

Anger burns.

Hitoshi comes back to U.A. the next day with changed goals. He’s going to be a hero, yes, but he’s going to run an agency that accepts and trains anyone with the will and dream to be a hero. Even quirkless. He’s going to help people like him, like the wish granting boy who gave up his name. He’s going to tear society up by the roots if that’s what it takes to bleed out the poison that lets this kind of thing go without notice.

And he’s going to start with the boy.

He goes back the next day with a book of names under one arm and a book bag full of chocolates and candies and cat figurines. He dumps the whole back on the roots of the tree, and when the boy appears, Hitoshi shoves the name book at him and says roughly, “I wish for you to pick yourself a name that you want from this book. Any name. I wish for my friend to have name he deserves.”

And the boy goes very, very still. He looks down at the book, then up at Hitoshi.

Then bursts into tears, because no one has ever wished on his behalf before. Wished for good health of a family member, or a happy marriage for a friend, or a hundred other things for other people yes, but never, ever him.

They sit down and pour over the book, and eventually the boy settles on the name Izuku, because for some reason it makes him think of warm things and laughter.

(Gonna stop there because ow my hands, but like- if I actually wrote this, then eventually there’d be a Reveal where the rest of Class 1-A finds out about Izuku when Hitoshi wishes for his friend to leave the shrine and spend the day having fun with him, since Izuku legit never leaves his reality-bending, location hopping shrine, and of COURSE Class 1-A finds them and of COURSE Katsuki sees Izuku, hears the name Hitoshi is calling him, and has a near heart attack. And of COURSE Katsuki, despite not being terrible in this universe (coming to the stark realization that he very well might have suicide baited a friend as a child was a reality check and a half), reacts to this shock the way he reacts to any other kind of stress: by getting angry and loud and shouty and maybe a bit punchy. And Izuku starts shaking, because he gave up his name, but without knowing it he’s been given it BACK by Hitoshi, or at least a piece of it, and Katsuki’s temper is making him almost have flashbacks, and Aizawa steps in in alarm when Hitoshi decks Katsuki and Izuku just kinda- flops over nervelessly like he’s having a seizure.

Katsuki is a Horrified Guilt™.

Aizawa rushes the kid to the hospital, but the moment there’s no one else in the room, he teleports back to the shrine and so oops no one in the room, cue freak out.

Hitoshi ends up dragging Class 1-A and his teachers to the shrine to check on Izuku and make Katsuki apologize, which he does.

And then accidentally gives back Izuku’s memories because it turns out crying all over the roots of the tree in genuine, years-long regret is a high enough price to fulfill the wish for Izuku to “Come Back”.

Of course there’s also the whole ‘magic is actually a thing and Izuku genuinely can’t leave the shrine unless someone wishes it for the day’ because that’s what being a Wish Granter means and Izuku ends up getting lots and lots of visitors who don't want wishes but just want to be his friend and make him happy.

Anyway yea, no idea where I was going with this but it was fun at least?)

#SE asks #anon asks #title prompt #Secret Engima Rambles #Come to the Tree verse #bnha

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ciderxi · 4 years ago

Text

She was supposed to be mine Pt. 3

Title: She was supposed to be mine

Chapter- 3 Secret Meeting

Pairing San x Reader X Yeosang

Word Count:2.8k

Anger filled his entire body, not being able to push it down in time. San lunged towards Yeosang, catching him while he was still trying to process what you had just said. Yeosang yelped as he fell onto the ground, his head hitting the wall as San proceeded to try and strangle him. While the rest of the group jumped to pull them apart, still not fully processing what was happening "Mingi, help me take him to the room" Hongjoong said as he and Mingi began to drag him to his room. San screaming at Yeosang the whole way "I WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS"

"SHE'S MINE" You jolted up as you heard San yelling, and the other boys talking frantically phone away, rushing to see what had just happened. Not caring about how what had just happened. Not caring about how your eyes were clearly still puffy and red.

You watched as San gets dragged away and Yeosang is sitting on the floor, surrounded by his friends. "Yeosang are you okay??? Someone tell me what happened!" but no one answered, feeling almost as if it wasn't their place, but also not being completely sure of what was going on. Why was San so angry, it's not like Yeosang was doing anything besides existing.

Through gritted teeth, Wooyoung aggressively spat, "Why don't you go talk to your boyfriend" as he kept his eyes on his best friend, who of course had his eyes on you. He wanted to call out for her, and tell you that he heard what you had said. But he just kept looking at you longingly, wanting to warn you, but knowing he couldn't. Not without interference from San, who may or may not be one step ahead of him.

"Wooyoung what do you mean? What happened? I was just in the bathroom and then I heard fighting"

Wooyoung at this point was visibly pissed, not only because his friend was hurt, but because she was hurting Yeosang, even if unintentionally. Jongho seeing that Wooyoung was about to say something, grabbed you by the wrist and whisked you away to your new room "How about I help you unpack while the rest of them figure things out " Jongho takes you to the room at the end of the hallway, and leaves you there while he retrieves your luggage.

You follow him, obviously caring more about the fight that just happened, instead of unpacking. "What do you mean figure things out? Jongho why wont you tell me what happened?"Jongho carries her heavy luggage to her new room as he's being pestered by her questions.

Besides the obvious fact that they would have all been caught spying on her, he didn't want to scare you into leaving. "I can't tell you, you're going to have to talk to them" he sighed with a bit of frustration.

"It's been a long day, why don't I just help you unpack, and then we can talk about it in the morning"

"It's barely 3pm... you know that right" you gestured to the open window letting the sunlight pour in "Okayyyy, give me a few minutes, stay here, I'm gonna head to the store and get us some snacks so we can play a few games.

With the moon rising in the dark night skies, Jongho has everyone meet in the living room. You heads towards your destination and can already feel the tension in the air, even as the guys are somewhat separated. Whatever happened on the other side of the bathroom door didn't end so well, as the bright and cheerful people that you saw in them were no longer there. The room is silent as tension filled the room. Jongho entered and happily realizes that the tension has died down at least a little bit.

"I figured that since we just finished our comeback, we should celebrate with some food and alcohol"

"Will there be steak???" Seonghwa asks, practically drooling already

"Of course~" Jongho laughs as he leads everyone to the dining room. "Who's ready to celebrate?"

Mingi's woo's loudly as the rest of them nod and rushed to take their seats. All of them ready to forget about the day's events and eat. The Main table being full with the main dish and side dishes. Next to the table is an ice chest of what might actually be filled with nothing, but beer. Jongho really has gone all out and everyone seem all excited especially Seonghwa, who didn't have to cook this time.

Y/n's POV

We all gathered around the table, San making sure that he was next to me and Yunho sat on the right side of me. Yeosang sat across from me as Wooyoung sat on his left and Hongjoong on his right, leaving Seonghwa and Mingi sitting at both sides. Jongho was still standing as he was handing everyone a beer, I insisted on helping, but he insisted that I stay seated since and I quote "I'm the guest here and I shouldn't be doing so much" Jongho was so sweet,even if a bit much at times

Ever since I arrived things went from what I know as normal, to a life I would never even see myself in, it really feels as if I'm still dreaming all of this. What if this is really a dream and when I sleep tonight I'll wake up in my bedroom that's in my home going back to the day of the fanmeet...

As Jongho had finally sat down between Mingi and Yunho, he claps his hands indication that it's time for us to eat. Before I could grab my plate San grabs it first giving me a variety of chicken to eat, which in any other situation is kinda sweet. But not right now, I can't help but feel this tension between us right now. And I don't even know what I did wrong.

What really happened while I was in the bathroom? Did they hear my conversation while I was on the phone??

I look at San quietly enjoying his meal, listening to Mingi telling a story of his when he was in highschool. Thank goodness for Mingi and Yunho, they always know how to keep everyone laughing and talking. I swear they share the same brain cell at times.

3RD POV

The group then finishes the night of fun, with everyone at varying levels of drunkenness, it was a good night, You walk over to your room with San behind in tow. Leaving Yeosang to watch them leave from the living room. He watches them longingly, and eventually dismissed himself from the game the group had been playing, The only one sober ish enough to notice leave being Wooyoung, while the rest drunkenly sang karaoke. Meanwhile Seonghwa danced to various girl groups.

Thank goodness for beer, Yeosang let out a sweet laugh at his own joke, before slowly going silent.

San closes the door behind you, caressing your cheeks as he urged you to look at him. "Y/n~ I~love~you" he sang while leaning in for a kiss. You froze for a second, looking for a way out. After today, you weren't so sure you could trust San, not after how angry he was tonight. you pulled away slightly, peering into his hungry eyes "San... there's something I need to tell you..."

San placed his finger on your lips, "Shh.. it's okay.. it can wait.. Just let me take control and I'll make you feel good~" He moved his lips to the crook of your neck, placing light kisses, overwhelmed You place your hands to his chest pushing him away... "San I mean it.."

"And I said that it can wait.. Now relax and let's have a little fun..", inches away from your face San tilts her head up teasing you before he going to kiss you. The kiss became hot and heavy in that matter of seconds, he licked you bottom lip begging for entrance, without realizing it, you gave in, not wanting to make him angry.

I need to tell him... before it's too late..

Catching their breaths, San leans in, but before things would escalate any further, You take in a small breath, "I.. love Yeosang.." San acts as if he doesn't hear you and goes to nip and kiss at your neck, leaving a trail of love bites as You let out a trail of moans. Your body telling him yes, but your heart telling him no. you tried to pry San off before he could leave any more hickies "let's call it a night....'

'Shhh don't worry Y/n, I'm sure our friends won't mind hearing you scream my name tonight~' He cooed into her ear, nibbling on it a bit too hard for her to manage 'San please, you're drunk, let's do this later" Trying to hide your fear and embarrassment behind a serious tone.Moving your hands to push against his chest, only to have San quickly grabbed your wrists, and put them over your head.

"Don't be such a tease Y/n~ you were so eager to get with me when we first met after all" Feeling a weird sense of pain, you kicked him off, causing him to groan at the sudden force, It actually wasn't that bad, but it still hurt nonetheless.'' San leave, now!"

Yeosang scrambles to hide as soon as he hears San cursing and walking towards the door.

He quietly runs to his room and waits there, using the party in the living room to mask any noise he would make, Meanwhile San slammed You's door shut, causing her to jump at the sound- and sigh with relief.

I really fucked up this time, and I can't even move out, I already agreed to rent out my house to a friend. And even then,if I left I wouldn't be able to see Yeosang, You really thought this one through huh genius

You tried to fight back tears of frustration as you wrote in your journal, figuring it would be to document new fun memories of living with idols. Instead only having cliche boy troubles to write down. You sighed and went along with your nightly routine, making sure to take a relaxing bath to calm your nerves. Sure today was a lot, but that didn't mean you couldn't keep up with your skincare routine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At 6 in the morning, Yeosang had written a letter to give to You. As the time came, Yeosang walked straight to Your door and slipped a note under the door, he left going to the meeting spot he invited her to. He was going to wait until later, until he noticed you already awake and in the bathroom, most likely getting ready for the day. He had to take his chance before anyone else could wake up and possibly catch them

Seemingly not noticing San watching his every move intently. As soon as Yeosang was out of Sight, he ran to your room and read the note as fast as he could, trying as hard as he could to not rip it up. No, he couldn't have Yeosang knowing he threw away the note, He couldn't chance it, not when You was at stake.

Exiting out of the bathroom, You walk out in yoga pants and a black long sleeve shirt while using your towel to dry off your hair. Hanging your towel, you comb your hair into place, freeing it of knots. Sighing from a long day you stumble upon a note on the floor, hesitating to pick it up, you decide to look at it to at least know who its from.

Yeosang...

Opening the note while your heart jumps rapidly against her chest, you read the fine print over and over, "I'm sorry to have to do this in secret, but I need to see you you. We can't be seen together because of San... If you wish to meet with me please come meet me in the backyard as soon as you see this, i'll be waiting"your heart races looking at the note, looking around to make sure no one saw you reading it. Not having the slightest inkling that San had gotten to the note first.

You grab your sneakers and heads to the backyard. Being very careful by not waking up the others as she makes her way to the backyard. Seeing Yeosang standing there waiting. You admire him for a moment, looking at every detail, from his eyes to the birthmark on the side of his face, to his lips. He stood tall with his hands in his hoodie pockets, his feet kicking around some innocent pebbles as he waited for you.

Standing there, your eyes met, both smiling to each other. Extending his hand out, "Come on, our destination has a little bit of walking before we can actually talk." Taking his hand without a second thought Yeosang led you to where they can actually talk in private, hopefully without being caught.

After some walking Yeosang comes to a stop, "We're here." looking around you admired the place he'd taken her to. "This is a little secret spot of mine that no one knows about.." You looked at Yeosang and noticed he was a bit nervous, hoping that you actually liked the place. "It's beautiful here.." Hearing those words made him all the happier. "So Yeosang what was it that you wanted to talk privately about?"

The way his name rolled off your tongue made him shiver with ecstasy, it felt so right to hear his name being said by you and only you. This is the moment, his only chance to tell you, "You.." he paused for a moment, thinking he heard something from behind the clearing. Worrying for a moment if someone had followed them

"Yeosang?" your voice quickly shook the worries from his head and brought his eyes back to meet yours. " I know we just met, and i know you're with San,but at the fanmeet... I felt something for you" he confessed, his eyes searching hers for any reaction

Taken aback, your breathing becomes unsteady, letting out a heavy breathe, with eyes looking at him with affection. "Yeosang, I feel the same way..Meeting you in person felt like such a dream and I never wanted it to end.. Yeosang I don't know how or why you make me feel this way, but I don't want it to end."

Yeosang stepped closer, your bodies inches apart, his finger lightly wrapped around yours becoming a full grasp. One hand held you, as the other traced from your hand, up her arm, resting at the crook of her neck. "You.. my You.. you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that."

"As happy as I am at this very moment...San what am I supposed to do about him.. The other members.. I mean the only reason i moved in was to spend time with him as his girlfriend... If only I was strong enough to push him away that day.."

Yeosang wipes the tears that have yet to escape from your eyes, "Shhh don't worry about that.. We'll figure something out, I promise you that. Just promise me that you'll tell me if San gives you any trouble."

Yeosang kisses your forehead signifying that he will always protect you no matter what. Holding close to him staying like that for what seems like forever and only do they wish would that moment last forever.

While they're enjoying the heartwarming moment another person watches them from afar only being able to hear the gist of their conversation. San clenches his fist with rage, wanting to jump out at that very moment to strangle his friend

He did not just fucking kiss her, he did not just kiss MY girlfriend on the lips

From his point of view, it had looked like they just kissed. Even if it wasn't the case, San was still just as pissed,

"I'm also sorry for spying on your conversations in the bathroom, I'm sure you know that already."They both chuckle as they continue embracing each other, fully enjoying their time together, even if it was short

San backs away quietly making sure the two young lovers oblivious to his presence, walking discreetly San plots his next big move against Yeosang that will make sure You is his and won't ever leave his side again. Unable to hide his disgust for another second.

He was going to make them pay for this, no matter what it took.

She will be mine

#ateez yeosang #ateez x reader #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez san #choi san #san smut #yeosang x reader #yeosang au #yeosang #yeosang smut #jongho #wooyoung #hongjoong #Seonghwa #mingi #Yunho #ateez fanfic

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astertataricvs · 5 years ago

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Miya Atsumu; how endearing

summary: Atsumu would frequently receive confessions from girls. But yours is the one that caught his attention.

word count: 2k+

Above the busy city, the honking of cars, the people walking down the street, and in a certain place where Inarizaki High School is established. The eminent azure tinctured heavens cloaked the world. It was an ordinary day the disseminated powder-puff clouds drift indolently across the interminable sky as the fresh sunlight irradiates the crevasses of every place – dusting off the darkness with the sun's glorious celestial entity.

Suna Rintarou stood in the rooftop, both elbows propped on the banisters as the youthful breeze of spring brushes through his body with the chorus birds above singing happily along with its kinds. He relished the calming atmosphere, feeling as it has a touch of magic, as if anything may happen that would grant him a magical experience.

Suna's eyes settled on the landscape before him, the varying types of edifices and houses with several colors that festoon the once cryptic hollow space billions of years ago. It was a sight indeed, suited for a man like him who's quiet all the time. But his eyes never missed catching two figures beneath him: a girl with long ebony hair and a familiar blonde hair who he was certain that it's their team's setter, Miya Atsumu.

The middle blocker already has the knowledge of what was going to occur among the two. It's the same scenario that he'd frequently witness every lunch break, Atsumu receiving a confession again, and he'd reject the girl straight away without batting an eyelash.

He doesn't care about what will happen anyway. That is precisely why he never had mentioned it to the setter that he'd often be the spectator of him acquiring a girl's love. It's not notable to him, and he isn't the type of guy who likes to stick his nose into other people's businesses. He likes to avoid that. He will always be doing that.

Although he's sick of perpetually seeing a confession from his usual spot, his eyes have adhered to the two persons who are beneath him.

Miya Atsumu has once again been summoned by a girl that he doesn't even know that she's actually studying here.

In the to-do lists of the girls in school, one of many cliché things there was to confess to someone at the courtyard of the school. Anyone with courage enough to do that was worthy of praise, even from Atsumu himself. He admired them for it but did not think it was riveting. Just another day at Inarizaki. Another thing to cross off on a list. Atsumu couldn't even remember the name of the last girl who confessed to him.

"I like you, Atsumu-kun!" The girl declared while eyes were sealed as her cheeks tinged in roseate hues.

Atsumu executes a subtle sigh as he straightens his back, preparing the words itching in his throat that he'd regularly answer girls.

"Sorry but I'm not interested." The girl pressed her trembling lips to keep the tears at bay.

Atsumu watched her with disinterest and full of boredom written on his face. It's the identical expressions he'd perceived whenever he'd reject them. Melancholic and tearful. Composing themselves from crying in front of him because they refuse to witness them weep by him, which is the thing he's most thankful for. He's not the one to blame if they'd cry to their friends in the girl's restroom or anywhere they pleased.

They were the ones who chose to confess to him even though they already knew the answer they would gain from him. The only emotion that keeps them from venturing their plan is their unyielding tenacity; their friends stimulating speeches and the hope that he might like them back – and that latter is what Atsumu despises the most.

He doesn't want to waste his time frequently hearing a girl's confession, it's revolting for always hearing it – though, he appreciates their feelings they possess for him, but it's not thrilling anymore.

Atsumu had achieved his task, so he excused himself first and left the girl behind, granting her an alone time to weep.

It is something that he doesn't want to see, he knows the feeling of rejection, but not in a romantic aspect, yet he is aware of how disheartening it felt – like you were being shrouded with darkness and feel the clenching of your heart inside your chest. Though it appears that Atsumu looks like he had tons of relationships in the past, he won't be ashamed of proclaiming to the world that he has stayed single ever since the day of his birth. Heck, he would admit that he much prefers being disengaged with the clutches of relationships and stay inclined to volleyball instead.

That's more preferable and pleasant to hear.

Atsumu tossed the ball to his twin and was satisfied as they earned a point with his set up. The coach decided to hold a practice match with every member of their club. Presently, they were having a match with Kita and Aran, who were on the other side of the net. It never ceases to amaze him every time he'd view their ace's spike and their captain's substantial receives. Despite being impressed with his teammates, Atsumu also gives his all in the game, and the thirst for victory enkindled in his system.

This is the thrill that he craves, not the same as the daffy confession of every damn girl he'd constantly receive every day.

"'Tsumu, are you done being a freak staring into space? Coach gave us a water break." The monotonous voice of his twin had snapped him out from his stupor.

"Shut the hell your mouth! I don't want to hear it from someone whose face is always stoic," he countered before stomping his foot and sauntering to where everyone was taking a rest and drinking their filled water bottle.

Osamu shrugged and followed his twin. Their captain had scolded them yet again with his more indomitable appearance and bland voice. Osamu told the blonde that Kita is more vacuous than him, and Atsumu wouldn't deny that because it's a fact. But still, the setter categorized them both in the same kind of species – the emotionless species.

He has no idea why he and his brother had distinct personalities, yet they are twins. Sometimes, he couldn't determine what Osamu was thinking about and his emotions except when they'd argue.

He is the actual opposite of his brother, lively and not impassive like him.

That is why he thinks that he's reliable and more preferable because he can show different emotions rather than Osamu, who is perpetually stoic as the same as the captain. Musing about it makes his ego skyrocketed.

Suna and Ginjima, who happened to witness Atsumu grinning like an idiot by himself, had caused them to step back and weirded out at him – well, he's already weird in the first place, though – but this kind of behavior only made him weirder.

'Is it the reason for getting confessed almost every day?' Suna mused while drinking his water.

A strum of a guitar resonates throughout the area, causing all the members to pause from their movements as their ears perked up upon hearing the sound of an instrument. It strummed in a familiar melodic pattern, but no one can figure what song it is. Suna knew that it's an acoustic guitar because of its vibrating strings and its sweet and softer tones.

Before they could even start a query, a woman's voice yet again halted them from their tracks and rendered them mute. Even Atsumu, who was in his stupor, had snapped back to reality once a sweet voice of a woman had rung within his ears.

I've never gone with the wind, just let it flow Let it take me where it wants to go

All of them are curious about the one who's singing, and they could distinguish that the noise is coming from outside their gym. Kita also grew curious, and his feet led him to the doors to discover the person behind that beautiful voice – even the captain admits that – Atsumu did not hesitate to follow Kita. His curiosity overwhelms him and wants to find out who is singing.

His mind is full of queries as to why someone would sing outside the gym. There are lots of rooms and areas in the campus for her to take a sweet moment by herself. However, Atsumu couldn't deny that he was pleased to hear the charming voice of this mysterious girl.

As once Kita and Atsumu took a peek outside, the setter's lips instantly dropped once his eyes landed on the girl he knew too well.

'Til you opened the door, there's so much more I've never seen it before I was trying to fly but I couldn't find wings But you came along and you changed everything.

Atsumu's eyes are like glue, transfixed on you, who is singing and playing the guitar. He didn't tear his gaze away from you even if he could hear the footsteps approaching behind him.

He doesn't have any clue why you were doing it here, as if you're a busker who sings and plays in streets or any other public places. But most of all, he feels his breath hitch when you stared into his eyes while singing the lyrics while playing the guitar. Your eyes never left him, and he did the same thing.

Atsumu let himself be absorbed with gawking to you as you played.

You lift my feet off the ground You spin me around You make me crazier, crazier Feels like I'm falling and I'm lost in your eyes

While you're singing, you suddenly step forward and mosey toward where Atsumu stood. Now he could feel his body turned rigid and as if his breath had seized by a lurking spirit, making him breathless.

As you finally stand before him, you sing the last lyrics of the chorus.

You make me crazier, crazier, crazier.

"I like you, Miya Atsumu-san," you confessed, voice laced with fondness, no hint of jest but utter sincerity. Looking at him like the king of the jungle that bears pride and gallantry and wouldn't waver whoever it confronts someone.

Atsumu swallowed the lump inside his throat, caught off guard, speechless and dumbfounded. Now he comprehends the situation as to why you were singing outside their gym.

It's because you were serenading him. But why English, though?

Atsumu hadn't foreseen that it would happen to him, someone serenading him as their type of confession.

That is beyond the usual. You remarkably caught him by surprise, and this is the first time he couldn't produce a coherent speech in his head – except when he's taking an exam.

"I—"

"That's all!" you squawked and bowed to him before bolting away and left everyone in an astounding state.

Kita looked over at Atsumu with his usual expression, but inwardly he was surprised as well, knowing the fact that this is the first time he had heeded a woman serenading a man. That's off-the-wall.

Everyone directed their gazes to their setter, who's still flabbergasted at the scene a while ago and stared at the path where the girl had run off.

The known Miya Atsumu, who doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut, had become speechless.

Atsumu blinked his eyes, returning him to his senses from his astonishment. As he assimilates the extraordinary event earlier into his brain, he suddenly evokes a chuckle. He was dazzled by your outlandish confession and had come to pique his interest – he's not gonna lie – the way you confessed to him was impressive.

The most shocking for him was, he never perceived you to be this daring enough to serenade him in front of his teammates. Moreover, it never forded his mind that you like him in a romantic aspect since you would approach him as a mere classmate only. You haven't provided him with a hint that you fancy him. Well, it makes sense for Atsumu why you don't look like it.

After all, you are his seatmate all this time.

'How endearing.'

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #miya atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #miya twins #hq #hq x reader #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fanfiction

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rhaenyratargeryn · 4 years ago

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EXIT WOUNDS (CYBERPUNK 2077) Ch. 2

Pairing: Takemura Goro x (female) V Rating: Mature Summary: When his plans for revenge fail, V and Takemura are left right where they once started. A dying thief and a disgraced soldier, with as much in common as they lack and an improbable bond that holds them to one another. Notes: Post-Canon, Nomad ending. Spoilers for post-game! Read on AO3 Read Ch. 1

The first awareness was that of light. Warm and bright behind his lids. The second awareness was ache. Persistent, painful and sharpened to a razor’s edge at every small movement.

Takemura begrudgingly accepted consciousness, finding the will somewhere inside him to open his eyes and look towards where the offending ray of sunshine was being allowed in.

The tent flap was being held open, just a sliver, and a pair of soft brown eyes, large and doe like in the middle of a tan-skinned face stared at him with interest. She had full round cheeks, youthfulness in every aspect of her cherub like features. The child froze as their eyes met, but slowly she smiled, a dimple in each corner of her mouth.

It was the height of spring, when the cherry blossoms were in full bloom and their petals scattered over the still pond in the gardens of the estate. Small pink ships, sailing endlessly on the vast sea.

Takemura was twenty-nine, three years dedicated already as an elite Arasaka soldier and known for his discipline, his dutifulness and his loyalty. When he did not pace the nearby halls, or stand at attention near Saburo-sama’s side, he was allowed to sit kneeled on a small mat on the wooden floor. His hand would remain on one hip, poised over his katana and another over his gun, his eyes sharp and his cyberware readings keenly attuned to every person who may move within the family halls.

It should have been a point of great shame for him then, that the tiny stumble of socked feet did not catch his attention until he found before him a small girl, her cherub cheeks puffed with a smile. She held up a drawing, or rather, scribbles upon paper in varying shades of black and red and tanned peach, all forming together to make a familiar silhouette.

“Taka-san, I drew you!”

In his duty, Takemeru was not to engage with others. He was meant to be as the room, as furniture or a tool left out. A knife on a table. What he was not meant to do, was speak to Saburo-sama’s three year old daughter. She was Saburo-sama’s joy, his greatest treasure, a child he doted on and who went everywhere at her father’s side.

Takemura looked to him now, for guidance, he told himself, but the look he gave Saburo-sama was more aligned with pleading.

“My daughter has presented you with a gift, Takameru. Be polite.” his master said without another glance, turning his attention back to his tablet.

Hanako waited patiently, expectantly. Takemeru found it difficult to even bring the words forth, his tongue sluggish and thick from so long hardly speaking much at all.

“Thank you, Hanako-sama. It is… lovely.”

She beamed, her smile drawing wider until a tiny dimple dotted high on her cheek. With insistence, she held it out for him and with equal amounts of hesitation, Takemeru took his hand from his blade and slipped the paper from her hands.

A voice called out a name, the sound hazy and muted on Takemeru’s ears. The girl turned, answering the call without looking back, leaving only the sway of dropped tent flap to ever prove she was there at all.

Takemeru let his eyes drift back closed, trying to recall the lines, the colors of the drawing. He had kept it, folded and safe beneath his armored vest for several days… but where did it go? What had he done with it after? It had been eighteen years since the blossoms and yet the few months he had spent alone, masterless and exiled, felt so much longer.

The tent opened again and Takemura groaned when the light flashed into his pupils.

“Morning.” a voice spoke, the man who had sewn up his shoulder and his side coming to sit near the cot Takemura was still shackled too. The man, too his wisdom, kept a good distance between them still.

“Is the pain bad? We scrounged up some MaxDoc to help take the edge off if you’re needin’ some.”

Takemura did not reply.

“Also need to change your IV. Sometimes the old ways are the best ways when it comes to saline and good ole H2O…. unless you’re feeling up to drinking some water?”

Water. The very word drew Takemura’s attention to how dry his throat was, how paperlike his tongue felt against the roof of his mouth. Water. His body pleaded to his mind. Water.

Takemura nodded, short and curt.

“Great. Hold on— “

Takemura watched the man as he moved around the tent, doing a good job still of keeping out of arm's reach. As his eyes traced his movements, he noted a change to the room.

There was a second cot set up at his other side.

In the second cot, was V.

Takemura felt a snarl build up near his teeth, a look of disgust and outrage ready to mar his features… until his eyes caught up with his emotions.

V looked terrible. Worse than terrible. Her skin had an unhealthy pallor to it, greyish and clammy. Her breaths were short and slow, as if her own lungs were too tired to make more of an effort. Some strange band was attached around her head, monitors fixed to her temples as a nearby computer beeped and monitored large spikes and numbers that made no sense to Takemura.

The doctor caught him staring as he returned with a cup of water. Takemura sat up as best he could manage, unsurprised when the doctor called in another to stand guard with a gun in their hand while he held the cup for Takemura to drink from. He was not to be unrestrained it would seem, though his prey lay but a scant few feet away.

“Another seizure. Hit her hard. Been out as long as you now, but… well. We’ll see what happens.”

Takemura frowned, “‘What happens’?”

He cursed himself for speaking, but the words were out before he could catch himself.

“If she wakes up. Every time it seems she has one it takes longer and longer… one day I figure she just won’t.”

V had succeeded in removing the relic, had rid herself of her demon and in doing so had thought to free herself from impending doom… and it had all been for nothing. Saburo was dead. Hanako was dead… and V was still going to die.

Takemura refused food when offered and drank only a little, the pain of his wounds a welcome distraction for the turmoil in his chest.

He never would have thought nomads would have such tech available to them, but in the large tent there was enough equipment and cases to fill a small clinic. This man is what Takemura could only imagine was their version of a ripperdoc, but he didn’t have to worry about the man trying to invoke his sympathies towards V for long. A young woman entered the tent and the ripperdoc gave her a respectful nod.

“She good, Tom?” the woman asked and Tom nodded, “Okay. Take a breather.”

She shrugged toward the tent entrance. Tom frowned, but he didn’t argue, getting up and exiting the tent and offering Takemura a quick view of the guards outside. They were still present. Not a good tactical advantage.

The woman set her fists on her hips, eyes narrowed as she scrutinized him with dark brown eyes. She has no visible cyberware to speak of, but it was common for Nomads to reject enhancement, at least in his limited experience.

Takemura, despite his feelings, spoke politely enough.

“I am Takemura Goro. If V has not already informed you.”

The woman looked a bit taken back by his easy words, but after a moment that surprise resumed an expression of suspicion.

“She did. Now you wanna tell me how you found us? And who else knows where we are?”

Takemura frowned, “It is considered extremely rude not to introduce oneself. Even to enemies.”

The woman’s face flushed red down to her neck and her teeth set against the inside of her cheek. She had a short-temper, but also a position of authority and respect given how the ripperdoc had so easily relented to her requests. She was a leader, but a potentially weak one, Takemura set that information aside for later.

“You attack my people and you wanna school me on manners, Corpo?”

“...You have someone I want.” Takemura stated, a simple reasoning for why the young Nomads he encountered were threatened.

“Too god damn bad. Now who else knows where we are?”

Takemura fell silent again, a sigh held back in his throat. V stirred slightly on the cot nearby, drawing both of their attention to the other woman as she flinched and jerked slightly in sleep. The monitors sped for only a moment and then slowed again, whatever neurological event passing quickly.

The Nomad woman’s expression had broken apart quickly from one of stubbornness and annoyance to worry… colored with affection and familial concern. She cared for V. She cared for V very strongly. That would complicate any attempts of persuasion or negotiation, but then again, Takemura had not considered those to be strong tactics to begin with.

The woman looked down at her boots and then, curtly spoke, “I’m Panam Palmer.”

“It is good to meet you, Palmer-san.” Takemeru said, but his words were filled with polite detachment that would make it quite evident even to Panam that they were simply a platitude.

“How did you find us?”

“Simple reconnaissance. I visited towns. Spoke to people. It was difficult for several weeks, but then…” Takemura paused.

“Then?”

“You and your people became lazy.”

Panam sucked in her cheek again, but controlled her emotions.

“Are there others coming?”

“No.”

“Wow… I mean, wow. Didn’t expect you to just offer that one up.”

“I have no reason to lie. My purpose is simple. You and your people are responsible for the death of one I held in utmost regard and respect. I am duty bound to end the life of the one who commanded it.”

Silence followed the end of his words, the steady beeping of the monitor filling the room. Suddenly then, Panam scoffed out a laugh and Takemura jerked his head up to glare at the young woman, forgetting himself.

“Jesus christ… you Corpo’s are really crazy, you know that? You’re ‘duty bound’? By who? You aren’t Arasaka. You aren’t anything. You come here and try to kill my sister because of some deluded belief you owe a buncha criminals and psychopaths? Who don’t want you?”

With each word her volume increased, the look of revulsion so prominent on her features that even if she had chosen not to mince her words, her distaste would have been clear. Negotiation it would seem, was not a viable option.

Takemura felt her words, but only in that they stoked a growing tension edging through his limbs and fueled a gnawing want to snap this crude woman’s neck. He let his anger stream out from his chest and into his hands, clenching them a bit tighter to try and relieve some of the pressure his growing anger exuded.

“This is what is gonna happen,” Panam began, her voice having grown colder, “We’re gonna dump you out on the sand with a quart of motor oil and a pistol and take bets on whether you shoot yourself before or after the thirst makes you crazy enough to drink it.”

The image was certainly— vivid. The sadism of such a statement catching Takemura slightly off guard.

“Wow. ” said a voice instantly recognized by both of them as V’s , “I mean, that is one stone cold line. I think I’ll steal that.”

---

“Shit, V— you need me to get Tom?” Panam had all but forgotten about Takemura, moving around to V’s cot to try and prevent the other woman from getting up.

“No.”

Yes. An indignant Johnny-Silverhand-induced auditory hallucination said quietly in the back of her mind. Maybe one day she’d get lucky and forget what the guy sounded like, then her head-voice would go back to just being her voice.

More importantly, she was nauseated as all fucking get out and Panam’s hand on her arm was doing a great job of making V feel a bit more grounded. She heard a faint click, the sound of someone chidingly clicking their tongue against their teeth and looked up to see Takemura had turned from them both, staring pointedly at nothing. But it was nothing away from V.

“No execution by desert, aight?” V said, lulling her head back towards Panam.

“Sure. Fine. Execution by bullet works just as well.” Panam said, shooting Takemura a dirty look that went unnoticed.

“Talkabout it later.” V said, only slightly slurring her words as she pulled the band off her head and peeled the monitors off a moment later. The computer made an alarming noise and V had a funny feeling it was becoming quickly overcrowded and overly loud for the former Arasaka bodyguard.

“Got an idea to make everyone happy.”

Takemura’s interest had been piqued. V caught him casting a look out of the corner of his eye at her.

---

What the fuck, V. Panam's voice still rang in her head, rolling around in her ears and in her skull and fueling an oncoming headache. For once, the voice didn't sound like Johnny though and maybe that was a good sign.

Of course Panam would hate the plan. But in the end, it wasn’t her choice. It wasn’t her life and although it had gone over about as well as V expected, for now, things were set. When she came back inside the tent, Tom had provided Takemura with an old t-shirt, the design on the front so faded it was barely more than a static of print.

His hair was down, which shrouded the grey near his temples and made him look somehow… younger. Less stiff. The look in his eyes though had not changed. Steel resolve and hardened granite. He had built a wall between them and V could hardly blame him for it… in the end, she hadn’t kept her end of the deal. But then again, she was still right where she was at the start. Sick, dying and Arasaka’s most wanted. So he could hardly say he kept up his either.

“Option one,” she began, “I’m dying. So honestly, killin’ me at this juncture would be a relief from what I got coming for me. It’s gonna be slow. It’s gonna be awful. I’m offering you front row seats to watchin’ my body slowly eat itself alive.”

Takemura’s eyes narrowed.

“I know what you’re thinkin’. ‘But you’re lookin’ for a cure’. We are. Which brings me to option two. We let you stick around while we look. If we find one and I get fixed up? You get your pistols at dawn or whatever. Get the satisfaction of knowing you got to kill me when I’m not already dead. Hell, not gonna lie. You killin' me after all this bullshit and then after I save my life too? That would be... well, I’ll give you a genuine fight for my life. If that’s what you want.”

V shrugged, “And you’ve already heard option three.”

“These options require me staying with this caravan for an unknown amount of time.”

“Six months, actually. Or five rather. So yeah. Five month wait..”

“How do I know they will not kill me before either of these things happen?”

V grinned.

“I asked them nicely.”

“Why?”

Her smile faltered.

“Why not pick option three for yourself?” Takemura said, offering the most practical and simple solution. The one she was sure right now, if they were in reverse situations, he would take.

It was a good damn question too. And V was certain she had a good damn answer half a second ago, but now with Takemura staring at her, grey eyes shrewd and with just a flicker of uncertainty… shit, seeing him at all… it made the words sound so ridiculous.

“I told you I didn’t mean for what happened to happen. I owe you, for a lot and this is the only way it’ll… sit right. For us both, I think. You don’t seem the type that would get much satisfaction outta killing me how I am now.”

V laughed, a nervous bubble of sound as she turned her eyes away and picked at a frayed thread on the knee of her pants.

“Also...guess cause we were friends once I feel like I should give you some closure. Not somethin’ I’ve gotten much in life, but welp. Here is my chance to give some.”

“...You wish to die with some honor restored.” Takemura’s voice for once held no trace of disgust, no edge of hatred. His voice was quiet, resigned. Understanding. It was not a tone V had ever thought to hear again from the man.

“Yeah, sure... if you’ll let me.”

Neither of them met each other's eyes. Two people, staring holes into opposite sides of a tent, as if refusing to acknowledge one another would somehow make them feel less.

“It is two options, not three.”

V looked up at the remark.

“Option one is, remain to witness your death or be the cause of it should you recover. Option two is motor oil and pistol.”

V held back a smile just barely. How could someone remain this pedantic even when discussing such a morbid topic?

“I accept option one.” Takemura met her eyes, only briefly, “I am patient man. I can wait.”

“Plus it gives you time to actually heal and then say fuck it and off me in my sleep or something.”

Takemura wrinkled his nose, “I could ‘off’ you now if you’d like.”

He pulled up his arm, revealing that at some time during all this chatting and debating he had gotten out of one of the cuffs.

Takemura casually used his other hand to put his thumb back in its socket, finding it impossible to miss how V did a full body shudder at the sound.

“Hard pass.” she said, still cringing.

“I will honor my word,” Takemura said, easily making work of the other handcuff and tossing it aside. He flexed his fingers, bringing them up to begin pulling his hair out of his face. V, for some reason, felt compelled to avert her gaze. It felt weirdly intimate, like she was watching him undress. Takemura brushed his fingertips over his wrist, frowning to himself before letting his hair go, falling back around his shoulders.

“You need a scrunchie?” V asked, unable to stop the small smile from forming at the corner of her mouth. What could she say? Johnny had tried to kill her once and she forgave him. Her standards were never exactly high. And a part of her, a small hopeful part of her thought maybe there was still time to make something right before she died.

Wrong city for happy endings. Her inner voice chided in Johnny's flat tone. But they weren't in Night City anymore.

#cp 2077 #cp 2077 v #cp2077 fanfic #cp 2077 takemura x v #takemura x v #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 fanfic #cyberpunk 2077 fanfiction #cp2077 fanfiction

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tetsuroyaoyaoya · 5 years ago

Text

A Crow Without Wings

tsukishima kei x reader - part six

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Stepping off the bus, you stretched your limbs out as much as you could, trying to rid yourself of the aching stiffness that came with sitting in the same place for who knows how many hours. You had spent every single one of those hours asleep, of course, but that didn’t take away the grogginess or the pins and needs you were currently experiencing.

“Rei-chan!” It had barely been an entire minute since you had set foot off of the vehicle, and you were already being lifted up in someone’s arms. This wasn’t exactly how you had imagined your day starting, to be honest.

“Bokuto-san, please put her down.” Along with the owl-haired ace, always came his setter. And it was a good thing he did, or you don’t think your feet would ever be on the ground with Bokuto around. He reluctantly set you down with a pout and you smiled gratefully at Akaashi.

“You better be careful, Kageyama,” A new voice appeared behind you, and you turned to find that it, of course, belonged to Tsukishima, who was sporting that usual stupid smirk on his face.

“Your boyfriend is just over there. You wouldn’t want to make him jealous now, would you?” Following his eyes over to where the Nekoma team were greeting the third years, you let out a scoff as you realised that he was referring to Kuroo.

“Suck it, Tsukki.” His smirk somehow grew wider and you rolled your eyes as he began to walk past you. He stopped right next to you and bent down, so that his mouth was directly by your ear, his lips almost grazing the skin of your neck. Attempting to supress a shudder, you tried not to show how tense you had been around him lately, especially with him so close to you.

“I think that’s your job, princess.” With that, he was gone, and you were absolutely bewildered. So now you had two different boys calling you pet names? Was there any chance you were still dreaming? Because it felt like it.

“Boyfriend?” You shook your head at Bokuto and Akaashi sent you a sympathetic look. There was definitely no doubt that this was going to be along week.

The coaches were quick to get into matches, and to be honest, so were you. It took your mind off of whatever was going on with that encounter this morning and gave you something to focus on instead of that. At least this training camp was already going better than the last one, with all of the team here at the same time and ready to get started.

The first match of the day happened to be against Fukurodani, and you were already beginning to feel an oncoming headache. It should be illegal for one single human to be that loud, and yet you were friends with him. At this point, you wouldn’t be surprised if Akaashi’s hearing was severely impaired.

In reality, you really didn’t mind it. The buzz of the teams getting ready to play made it feel like an actual tournament, and that was definitely something you had missed dearly.

However, you were still worried about how well the team was going to be able to play. Having still not made up with your brother since the fight, you had no idea what he had been working on or how he was doing aside from the small details Kiyoko had been trying to slip into your conversations with her. But what you were really concerned about was whatever was going on between him and Hinata. As far as you were aware, they hadn’t spoken a word to each other outside of practice in the past two weeks, and even then they kept contact to a minimum. It meant that you had no idea how this game was about to go, or how the team was going to pull off the new attacks.

Either way, the game was about to start, and you took your seat of the side of the court to keep watch.

Fukurodani started off with a solid serve, which was neatly received by Nishinoya, who sent it over to your brother. You watched as he tensed, clearly realising that it was the perfect opportunity to try and execute a quick attack. Hinata must have realised this as well, as he shot forward, running for the ball.

Hinata drew his arm back to spike and… nothing.

The ball was too short.

The toss itself was completely different to what you remembered. Tobio’s usual toss never missed the spiker’s hand. It was only been two weeks since you had seen him play properly. Had you really missed that much?

You jumped when the whistle blew, and the coach looked at you strangely.

Maybe he had finally gotten that stick out of his ass like you had told him to do. Rolling your eyes at your own thoughts, you focused back on the match. That missed toss meant that Fukurodani was already in the lead and the game hadn’t even properly begun yet.

The same set up happened once again; serve, receive, toss.

And miss.

This time it was too long.

Suddenly, Hinata’s left hand shot out to save the ball, bouncing it off of his wrist in an attempt to save it. The ball went up, caught the top of the net, and barely just landed within the bounds of the opposite side of the court. You let out a breath of relief, shock etched onto your face. Since Hinata had been practicing with Ukai’s grandfather, you hadn’t seen much of his progress, but it seemed as though he had changed a lot more than you thought as well. It was like you didn’t even know the duo anymore.

The game continued at a relatively quick pace, and you finally got a glance at Asahi’s improved serve in an actual match environment. You and Noya had been helping him practice, and he had made big progress in terms of power, but the actual success rate of the spike was still low.

The whistle blew and the ball was in the air. The ace spiked it with as much power as he could muster, and you crossed your fingers behind your back.

“Out, out!” The other libero stepped to the side and the ball did indeed land just outside on the very back line of the court border. You watched as Asahi clicked his tongue in frustration.

“Almost there Asahi! One more!” You cheered in encouragement and he smiled at you gratefully from his position on the court.

Next to be tested was the synchronised attack, which to be perfectly honest, you didn’t have much hope for just yet. Sugawara set the ball and all four spikers ran towards the net at varying speeds, all jumping to throw off the blockers. However, the ball missed its intended target and dropped to the floor.

Sighing, you rested you head in your hands and thought about what to do to help them correct their mistakes. The preliminaries for nationals were next month. Would it be possible to get all of these new skills up to par in time to have a fighting chance?

“Sorry! Cover!”

“I got it!” Noya sprinted forward, jumping right before he crossed the back line and rotated his body to get ready for a toss. Although, he had jumped too far and missed the ball completely.

“It’s fine, Noya! Get the next one!” He sent you a thumbs up, but he was clearly getting a bit frustrated. You really couldn’t blame him. Everyone was.

All of a sudden, it was match point for Fukurodani, and it was Bokuto’s turn to spike. But Tsukishima’s block was too weak, meaning he easily hit right through it, winning the set. You rested your knees on your elbows and tilted your head down to massage your temples. That block could be so much better, especially with the advantage of Tsukishima’s height, but he just refused to get any better.

One thing that you definitely didn’t miss from playing volleyball was the penalties, not that Shiratorizawa lost very often. This camp’s punishment for losing was a dash up the steep grass hill just outside of the gym doors.

You had a feeling that there was going to be a lot of running up that hill this week.

As you expected, Karasuno lost every single one of the games that they played on that first day. It was sad to say that you could genuinely count all of the games you had watched them win on only one hand. Of course you wanted them to win, they had all been working unbelievably hard for it, but it felt as though there was something missing from the team and you just couldn’t put your finger on what it was.

~~~

“What’s up, peaches? You’re all pouty.” You tugged the lollypop from your mouth with a ‘pop’ and pointed it at him accusingly.

“Kuroo, I’m literally allergic to peaches.” Bokuto burst out laughing, clutching the ball he was holding to his stomach.

“Seriously? Show me.” Was this boy completely brainless?

“No, Kuroo. I could die.” Bokuto was practically on the floor at this point and you even saw Akaashi snickering behind him as well. You shook your head in amusement and cracked a smile, putting the lollypop back in your mouth.

“Hey, isn’t he from Karasuno, Rei?” Standing up, you jogged over to the door and peeked you head around the frame, your eyes immediately spotting Tsukishima approaching the gym. An idea popped into your head and you quickly hid out of his sight.

“Look, do me a favour and invite him to play with you? Please?” They looked extremely confused at your sudden request and you panicked, as he was about to walk by the door.

“Just make him block for you? I’ll owe you.” Kuroo and Bokuto shared a smirk and you grinned up at them.

“Sure thing, cupcake.” Since he was doing you a favour, you allowed the nickname just this once and made you way to go and sit back on the bench. Lev was still sprawled out on the floor where Kuroo had left him and you poked him with your foot, receiving no response in return. Had the captain really made him practice that much? Or was he dead?

“Oh, hey, you? Karasuno! You with the glasses!” Bokuto was already stretching in preparation and you admired how serious they were being. At least they were getting some extra practice out of the situation.

“Could you jump some blocks for us?” There was a pause, and you straightened your back in anticipation.

“Actually, I’m done for the night. Excuse me.” Was he seriously rejecting the offer to train with the two strongest teams in Tokyo? Oh, you were going to strangle that boy.

“It’s meaningless to spike without blockers. I beg you!” Sighing, you turned yourself to the side and laid down on the bench. Had it really been the best idea to ask those two to get him to practice?

“Besides, if you’re a middle blocker, shouldn’t you practice blocking a bit more?”

Kuroo Tetsurou, huh?

Big shot powerhouse captain?

Whatever.

Maybe Tsukishima could know him down a peg, the cocky bastard. What was so great about him anyway? He didn’t look special.

You sat up just as the blonde walked into the gym, his eyes meeting yours instantly. He scoffed with a roll of his eyes.

Of course, you were here, with Kuroo. Why would you be anywhere else?

At his poor attitude, you pulled the lollypop out of your mouth again and blew him a raspberry, showing him the stripe of colour staining your tongue.

“That’s disgusting.” You scowled at him.

“Blue tongues are cute.” So what if they were? But if he thought that, then he’d have to admit that the way the sleeves of your hoodie almost completely covered your hands was cute too, and it definitely wasn’t.

He shook his head and readied himself to block, missing the thumbs up you had sent the two captains, but he may have caught the subtle wink Kuroo had sent you in return. With a huff, he began cracking his knuckles and circling his wrists, having already seen first-hand how powerful the ace’s spikes were.

You watched carefully as they played, and it was exactly as you thought. Tsukishima’s mind was utterly amazing. He was impressively observant, and payed close attention to all of Bokuto’s movements. After only a few spikes, he was managing to more or less predict Bokuto’s decisions, which would have been great… if he could actually stop any spikes.

It was obvious that Bokuto was going easy on him. Tsukishima’s blocks were some of the weakest you had ever seen. It was slightly annoying. He was that condescending and yet even you could block better.

Kuroo soon ended up joining the blocker, who didn’t look very happy about it, and together they were actually able to stop a spike. It really wasn’t surprising though, since Kuroo was one of the best blockers in Tokyo.

“Specs,” Oh, you were definitely using that one.

“You have a good read on things, but you know, your blocks are pretty weak. I get worried that I might break your arm in two or something.” You could almost physically see the nerve that Bokuto hit with that remark. You bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing.

“I’m still a growing boy! I have a ways to go in both muscular strength and height,” That was it. You burst out laughing, throwing your head back so far you almost fell off of the bench. That was the most ridiculous thing you had ever heard him say.

“If you take things too easy, shorty will take all the glory from you.” Suddenly, you weren’t laughing anymore. You knew Kuroo had horrendous timing, but you had barely just managed to get Tsukishima to practice for once.

“You guys play the same position, right?” You frantically gestured for Kuroo to shut up, but he clearly wasn’t getting the message.

“I don’t think I can do anything about that. There is an obvious difference in potential between Hinata and me.” Your hands fell into your lap as you stared at the boy with furrowed eyebrows. After everything you had told him and tried to encourage him with, he still felt like that? Were you even helping at all?

As if it couldn’t get any worse, the other members of Nekoma’s team began to shuffle into the gym one by one, interrupting the mini practice.

“Well, it looks like I’ll be in the way. So, if you excuse me.” Dumbfounded, you merely gaped at the blond as he collected his things and walked out of the gym.

“Kuroo Tetsurou, I will physically shove an entire volleyball up your ass! Why would you say that?” You shot him a fiery glare before running after Tsukishima.

“Oi, Tsukki.” You caught up to him a fair distance from the gym. Although, you weren’t expecting him to practically growl at you as he turned around, a look of pure anger on his face.

“Tsukki?”

“Don’t call me that!” Stunned, you could only blink at him. You were at a loss of what to say. Anger was not an emotion you associated with Tsukishima, since he always remained so calm and collected. You didn’t like it.

“Why must you try so hard?” Déjà vu hit you like a brick, your breath hitching as you tensed at the words. Ushijima’s face flashed in your mind for a second and you broke eye contact with Tsukishima. Shaking it off, you turned back to him with a hard look on your face.

“I’ve told you. If you don’t get your shit together soon then the team is going to lose. Have you seriously not realised that the only thing Hinata has going for him right now is his speed and his jump? Even if they are so good, they’re no use if you can’t block anything. Whenever Hinata scores a point, they’ll just score one right back!” You were getting unbelievably irritated with him at this point.

“You are the only one on the team that isn’t doing anything to improve. If you carry on like this, they’ll take you off of the regular roster, and then what? You’ll get replaced, just like you seem to want.”

“Of course I don’t want that!”

“Then act like it, Tsukishima!” He knows that he was the one to ask you not to call him by that stupid nickname, but actually hearing anything other than that being spoken by you felt so wrong. How had you even gotten to this point? You were meant to tease each other, not actually argue.

“Go back to your boyfriend. I’m sure he’s jealous that you’re out here with-“ Before you knew what you were doing, you had slapped him. His head was forcibly turned to the side harshly, and your hand stung from the impact.

You had nothing left to say to him. He obviously wasn’t going to listen to you. With a shake of your head, you turned the opposite direction to him and walked off without another word.

Kuroo wasn’t your boyfriend.

So why did it hurt so much that Tsukishima thought that he was?

~~~

It seemed that Karasuno’s losing streak would continue into the next day. Even you were getting tired of all the penalties and you were only watching on from the side-lines.

The team had played three matches so far, and while their scores were generally pretty consistent, it didn’t really seem like they were making any improvements in their attacks. It was a shame, really, especially because you knew how hard they were working.

You and Kiyoko were currently handing out the boys’ water bottles and you paused as you reached Tsukishima. He looked like he was struggling, and you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, even if you knew that his lack of stamina was most likely because he never seemed to do any extra practice.

When he noticed you stood in front of him, he looked up, slightly shocked. You held the bottle out to him, and he took it hesitantly, looking as though he had something to say to you. Without giving him the chance, you nodded briefly at him and moved on, not saying a word.

He frowned at your back as you walked away. You were completely right to be mad at him, but he couldn’t understand why he had gotten so irritated in the first place. Your life had nothing to do with him.

So why couldn’t he take his eyes off of you?

~~~

Finally, after a few more losses, it eventually came to the last match of the day, and Karasuno was against Ubugawa once again. They were quite a bit behind, and you could tell that everyone was getting more desperate now. With the new attacks barely improving, it was all they had or nothing at all.

You gasped as Daichi and Nishinoya crashed into each other quite roughly, and you gripped your notebook tighter, feeling the eyes of a few people immediately land on you. Despite the rising anxiety in your chest, you kept yourself rooted firmly to your seat and forced yourself to calm down. Tensions were high and you could feel the pressure tingling in the air around you.

“Everyone’s into it like never before. It’s almost scary” Kiyoko distracted you, bringing your attention away from the game for a few moments, and you could already feel your mind easing slightly. You nodded at her, agreeing. It was definitely scary, and you didn’t know how to handle it.

“It’s coming on the left!” Your eyes caught sight of the ball as your brother received it. With him now unable to set, Tanaka took his place, sending the ball over to the left side of the court.

“Asahi-san!” Your breath hitched as your eyes flit over to Hinata, watching him stare at the ball as if he were about to devour it.

But just as you were going to begin panicking again, he paused, and then backed up a step, making way for Asahi to spike the ball as he planned. The ball hit straight through the blockers and hit the gym floor with an overwhelming amount of force. Raising your eyebrow, your lips twitched up into a half-smile, the ace’s sheer determination shifting the entire atmosphere of the game.

“Hinata was so close to spiking that ball.” You chuckled, now completely calm and relaxed. Asahi clearly wasn’t letting Hinata overshadow him, and he was doing a good job of it.

You found yourself turning your gaze to look over at Tsukishima, studying him as he looked between the other two players. There was definitely something different about his expression. It was only slight, but it was there. You smirked as you watched him clench his hands into fists at his sides.

Finally.

~~~

Sighing, you shoved your hands deeper into the front pocket of your hoodie. The hope you had of Tsukishima actually wanting to improve was at its end. He was still refusing to take up any offers of extra practice, and you weren’t sure what more to do.

You had really gotten excited with the way he was beginning to look at the court, but it seemed that your expectations had been set too high. He had rejected Bokuto yesterday, and you were sure he would do the same today, so you had decided to stay away from the boys’ group practice for the night, since it was getting more and more difficult to hide your disappointment.

It really was a shame. He didn’t see just how much potential he had, and he was letting it all go to waste. You wanted to see him do better. If there was anyone that could manage to block against the great Ushijima Wakatoshi, it would be Tsukishima.

Despite the nice warm weather recently, there was a refreshing cool breeze at night, and the darkness of the school’s grounds made it much more relaxing to wander about during the late evenings. It allowed you to think – properly think – and figure out exactly what was going on inside your mind.

Rounding a corner, you spotted Yamaguchi seemingly arguing with Tsukishima. Quickly hiding yourself back behind the corner of the building, you peeked your head around slightly, listening in.

“On the off chance that we get to the national championships, what’s beyond that? There is always better, and even better. It’s endless.” For someone so unnecessarily tall, he really couldn’t see over things, could he? He was just so pessimistic.

“Even if you are able to show some results somewhere, you’re never going to be number one! You’re going to lose somewhere!” Your eyes widened as he shouted at his friend, your fingers clutching the cuffs of your sleeves.

“Everyone knows that! So, what is the driving force behind everyone?” His words brought you closer and closer to intervening, but something in you was telling you to leave it for Yamaguchi to handle. You had done enough, for now.

“What-“ Your breath caught in your throat as you watched the smaller boy lunge forward, catching the blocker by his shirt.

“-the hell else do you need outside of your own pride?” Oh, yeah. Yamaguchi could definitely handle this. You were mildly impressed, especially when you saw the look in Tsukishima’s eyes. Clearly, you weren’t the only one getting frustrated at the boy, and it was nice to see Yamaguchi so outwardly driven for someone else’s sake.

“To think…” Tsukishima’s voice was low, so you barely heard it from where you were stood, but Yamaguchi backed up as if his hands had caught fire, looking slightly intimidated.

“That a day like this would come.” Your lips parted and your jaw slackened slightly as the clouds parted, shrouding the two boys in moonlight. Tsukishima tilted his head up to look down at his friend with an actual smile on his face. You couldn’t help but gape at him. When he wasn’t glaring you down or spitting insults your way, he was actually… attractive.

He was what now?

Impossible.

The two of you hated each other’s guts, and yet now you were practically drooling over him because he smiled?

You took a step backwards, hiding completely behind the wall now, and let you back rest against it as you looked up at the stars. Your heart was racing and your palms were beginning to sweat.

There was no reason at all for you to panic. Even if you did find him attractive, it wasn’t a big deal. Other girls must think he’s good looking as well, right? You just couldn’t see it before because you didn’t like him.

That’s all.

“Ugh.” Tugging your hood over your head, you pulled on the strings and tightened it. Adjusting it, you made sure that you could see, and your face was still visible before popping your head back around the corner.

Only to see that Tsukishima was gone.

“Of course,” It was just your luck. You waited a moment for Yamaguchi to start walking back to the gym before heading towards the only place the taller boy could have possibly gone. After the smile you had just seen on his face, he must have finally caved in, meaning that the hope you had started to lose may just be about to build up again.

Avoiding sprinting across the grounds like you desperately wanted to, you walked as fast as you could manage towards where you usually met Bokuto, Kuroo, and Akaashi when you helped them practice.

Luckily, you caught sight of the blond just as he stopped in front of the doors of the gym.

“Oya?”

“Oya Oya?”

“Oya Oya Oya?”

You kept yourself out of sight, rolling your eyes at the three boys inside.

“There’s something that I’d like to ask you. May I?” You couldn’t decide what shocked you more; the fact that Tsukishima was actually going to other people to ask a question, or that he was being so polite about it.

“Both of your schools are sometimes considered powerhouses, right?” Snickering, you covered your mouth to stop yourself from laughing. That had to hurt their poor egos.

“Well, yeah!” You could already imagine the grumpy frown probably sitting on Kuroo’s face and you bit your lip. They both must have looked so hilarious.

“Even if you were able to make it nationals, actually winning there would be difficult, right?” You furrowed your eyebrows. Of course, it would be. It’s nationals. There are teams there from every other prefecture in the country.

“But not impossible!” You briefly heard Akaashi attempting to calm Bokuto down and you envied his patience.

“I am genuinely curious about this. Why do you all get so serious about this? Volleyball is just a club, and maybe you’ll get to write, ‘I worked really hard in my club in high school,’ on your resume, right?”

“Just a club?” There was an undertone to Bokuto’s voice that you rarely heard, and you smirked to yourself, knowing Tsukishima was about to experience on of his rants.

“That almost sounds like someone’s name.”

“Oh, like Mary Club?”

“…”

You were friends with idiots.

They began to bicker, and you heard Bokuto whine at Kuroo.

“Say, four eyes,” While you were really enjoying these nicknames, how did he not know the poor boy’s name yet?

“It’s Tsukishima.”

“Say, Tsukishima. Is volleyball fun?” You scoffed, having already asked this and received no answer.

“No, not really.” Oh, you were so done with this boy.

“Maybe that’s because you suck at it?” You choked on your own saliva, laughing as quietly as you could manage so as to not attract any attention.

“I’m a third year, and I’ve gone to nationals. I’m better than you. Way better than you.” There really was no one who could inflate Bokuto’s ego like himself.

“You don’t have to tell me that.”

“But I only recently started thinking that volleyball is fun.” He lowered his voice and you couldn’t really make out what he said next, but you could tell that it was going to be oddly inspirational. After all, he had done the same thing for you last year.

“What happens next, whether you can win the next game… stuff like that doesn’t matter for now. Crushing the guy in front of you, and the exhilaration of using one hundred and twenty percent of your skills, is everything.” You knew that feeling all too well. You missed it so much. But you were working out your own way to feel that thrill again, and you just hoped that Tsukishima could do the same.

“But once that moment arrived for you, that’s the moment you’ll be hooked on volleyball.” There was silence for a moment, and you had hope that Tsukishima was about to change his perspective. You had experienced a speech like that from Bokuto first-hand, and it pretty much changed your life, and you knew the same thing was happening to the boy stood just a few metres from you.

It was so annoying.

“Are you being serious?” You stepped out from your hiding place and pointed at the owl-haired spiker.

“I’ve been trying to get that through to him for weeks now and he listens to you? You barely know his name!” Kuroo chuckled at you, or more so, your appearance. Realising that your hood was still tightened around your head, you cleared your throat, loosening the strings and pulling it down.

“Wow, don’t you look like you just-“

“Finish that sentence, Kuroo Tetsurou, and I will made damn well sure you can never finish another sentence ever again, you got me?” He nodded meekly, taking a step back as you began to fix your hair as best you could.

“So… now you’re both here, jump some blocks for us!”

~~~

“Kiyoko-senpai!” Skipping over to her, you garnered the attention of quite a few of the boys getting ready for their matches.

“Your ponytail looks really cute today!” You giggled at the blush it brought to her cheeks. It was a new day and you were finally beginning to get used to the early awakenings again. It had been a long time since you had felt this cheery in a morning,

“Rei-chan, that was adorable!” You smiled widely at the captain of Karasuno’s opposing team for this match as Fukurodani began warming up on the other side of the court.

“Thank you, Koutorou!” You made a heart with your forefinger and thumb and sent it his way before getting ready to begin your manager duties of the day. Kiyoko had already prepared the water bottles and the towels, meaning all you needed to do now was check in with the coach for him to give you a run-down of the game plan for today.

Having been their manager for almost two months now, you pretty much knew how each of the boys played and what methods they liked to use, so it was getting a lot easier to pinpoint exactly what they needed to work on. There was always something that you could help them, so your role was certainly never boring.

The match went on as many of the rest had in the past few days, with Karasuno lagging behind by a fair few points, which you knew was beginning to really frustrate them now. Takeda called for a time-out at Ukai’s request, and the team gathered round.

“Even if you’re not able to stop number four’s spikes, at least try to touch it.”

“He may not look it, but he’s very perceptive. He will find an open spot in your blocks and get through it. So, keep an eye on him, and keep your block formation tight.” Your eyes landed on Tsukishima as you spoke, more or less directing the words at him, and you noticed an unusually hard look in his eyes.

“We don’t have to stop it?” His eyes were trained on you, and you raised an eyebrow in response. Tsukishima never really talked during time outs, and it was clear that even the other boys were shocked by it.

“Well, if you can manage to shut out the ball completely then that’s perfect. Otherwise, no. Even just a fingertip can slow down the ball and give the others enough time to get it back into play.” It was subtle, but everyone could see that you were challenging him. You were nowhere near as good at provoking people as Kuroo seemed to be, but with the way he straightened his posture, his gaze never leaving yours, you were sure you’d managed to do at least something.

Fukurodani continued to score and keep the point gap fairly wide as they all carried on playing. Keeping watch on Tsukishima, you could tell something was definitely off with him, you just couldn’t tell whether it was a good thing or a bad thing yet.

The opposing libero received the ball nicely, sending it over to Akaashi as Bokuto called for a spike. Daichi and Tsukishima quickly moved in to block and you crossed your fingers behind your back. You really hoped that the tips your boys had given him last night had sunk in, and you guessed you were about to find out.

The blockers jumped and you watched in shock as Tsukishima towered over the net. His blocking form was so much better, and you could practically feel the waves of intimidation he was giving off from where you were stood at the side of the court. You gasped as Bokuto’s eyes widened, and in a split second switched his attack from a cross shot to a feint. It looked like it was the only thing that could make it over that block.

It was amazing.

Unfortunately, Noya couldn’t dive in time for the ball in order to dig it, and so the point went to Fukurodani.

“Wow, I definitely thought that he would come in with a hard hit right now! To think that it was actually a feint… Nothing less from a national-calibre ace!” You were still in awe. Tsukishima had made Bokuto switch attacks. To a feint no less!

“Bokuto never feints.” Ukai and Takeda looked at you curiously.

“He prides himself over his straight and his cross. It takes a lot to make him back down. And Tsukishima made him switch attacks mid-air.” Takeda seemed a lot more surprised now, and you couldn’t blame him.

You caught Tsukishima’s eyes as he walked away from the net and you gave him a sly smile. He was another puzzle piece clicking into its place and you couldn’t be happier.

He rolled his eyes at you and turned his head away to smile at himself where you couldn’t see. Although, Yamaguchi managed to catch him doing it and looked from him to you, who was now chatting happily with Kiyoko and the coach.

You looked back just as Tsukishima stopped near Hinata. It looked like he had finally stopped letting his fear of being overtaken by the little spiker scare him, and just like Asahi, he wasn’t going to be beaten.

All you needed now was Hinata and Tobio to make up, and the jigsaw would be complete.

~~~

The temperature of the camp was rising rapidly, both figuratively and literally. It was going to be a very hot summer and being at a training camp doing nothing but physical activity, was not helping. Along with that, the new attacks that the team had prepared still weren’t working, and it was beginning to take a toll on their motivation.

Despite practicing with each other every day, Hinata and your brother still hadn’t spoken a word to each other since their fight, and it was beginning to really worry you. If they didn’t get back to normal soon, you weren’t sure how well the team was going to cope.

However, you were even more concerned about the atmosphere in the gym right now. It was warm and everyone was beyond frustrated. Someone was bound to snap sometime soon, and it wasn’t going to be pretty.

Your breath hitched as Hinata and the tall first year from Nekoma both jumped up for the ball form opposite sides of the net and were caught in a joust. Unfortunately, Lev overpowered Hinata and the ball was sent back towards Karasuno’s side of the court, landing on the floor before Noya could dig it.

Focusing on Hinata, you noticed him looking extremely frustrated, even more so than usual. He bent over and rested his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. You had never seen him look so defeated, him usually bursting with limitless energy.

It was him.

He was going to snap.

And soon.

Karasuno were finally catching up in points, only three behind now. Hinata went in for a quick and you paused, slightly confused as you watch Tobio set the ball. Hinata barely managed to get his hand on the ball, only just getting it over Lev’s fingertips.

“Oh no,” Ukai glanced at you quickly, clearly concerned. So far, you had always been right when something was about to go terribly wrong, and he was beginning to trust your judgement. You knew Hinata had noticed it too, and you chewed on your lip in anticipation.

“Nice cover-“

“Hey!” The little spiker wasted no time, getting up, close, and personal with your brother, absolutely livid.

“You held back, didn’t you?” The team was clearly shocked, and you took a deep breath, trying to calm your rising anxiety.

“Held back? Me? With volleyball?” You blinked, confused. Had he not noticed it? But he’s the one that set it!

You stood up abruptly when Tobio clutched Hinata by the shirt, knowing full well what happened the last time they did that. You barely registered as Takeda called for a time out, only focusing on stopping the fight before it happened.

“Tobio, that was a different toss.” He slowly moved his eyes over to look at you, clearly irritated, but he looked surprised.

“That wasn’t the new toss. That was just a normal quick.” He let the shirt fall from his hand as he let the realisation sink in.

“It was?” You heard murmurs behind you, but you kept your focus on your brother. Walking over to the two, you placed a hand on his shoulder, pulling him away from the confrontation slightly.

“You just wanted him to hit it not matter what. It’s okay.” A million thoughts were going through his head right now, and for the first time since starting high school, he looked scared. Since he met Hinata, his confidence had been through the roof, but having failed so many spikes, Tobio just wanted him to spike one well, to cheer him up. But Hinata knew what he wanted, and he wanted to try the new toss until he could hit it. Tobio changing the toss, even subconsciously, might come across as a sign that he didn’t believe it would work, so of course the smaller boy was angry.

“Don’t stop trying, Kageyama!” He paused as you were leading him back to the bench, turning to look at his friend. His look hardened to one you were all too familiar with, and you broke out into a smile, letting you hand fall back down to your side. You carried on back to the bench without your brother, taking your place next to the coach.

“He’ll be fine.”

One more piece.

~~~

“Baka! Baka!” You stuck you tongue out at Tsukishima childishly through the net, and he scowled at you, but you could see he was fighting a smile by the way his lips twitched. He hadn’t said a word about the other night when you slapped him, and you hadn’t either, choosing to just enjoy the camp while it lasted. You could talk about things like that when you got back to Miyagi and things returned to normal.

For now, you were just happy that he had finally improved his blocks, and even caught Bokuto off guard. If he kept practicing, he could be a phenomenal blocker, maybe the best in the prefecture.

“Hey guys, did you bring a friend today?” You both looked over, spotting a certain fiery-haired spiker poking his head around the doorframe.

“What happened to your partner?”

“Kageyama is practicing by himself again.” Tsukishima glanced at you, but you shrugged at him. There wasn’t really a reason why he wouldn’t let Hinata practicing with him, but you could take a wild guess at what he was doing.

“So, can I practice with you?” You hadn’t played with Hinata since the mini practice match at the last training camp, and you began to get excited thinking about another one.

“Well since we have the right amount of people, let’s play a three-on-three.”

You don’t know how it happened, but you had been placed on a team with Kuroo and Tsukishima. It was obvious that there was a slight tension between the two of them, yet you couldn’t figure out why, unless you had missed something.

Rolling your eyes, you looked over at Akaashi through the net, only to see him with the same look on his face as you.

“Isn’t this a bit unbalanced?” While you were the shortest on your team, the owls had Hinata, who was the shortest out of all of you by almost half a foot. Even so, you could tell he was having the time of his life; playing with two powerhouse schools, three national-level players, and he was up against Tsukishima. It was more or less a dream come true.

And so, the game began. You had ended up as setter, and while you were slightly disappointed to not be spiking, you loved to set every now and then, and you hadn’t played in this position since you got the all-clear to practice from your doctor.

The ball was currently on the owl’s side of the court, and you watched carefully as your blockers ran int place, but Akaashi wasn’t that stupid. He set the ball to the other side of the court instead, Bokuto being the one to jump and spike it. The blockers tried to move but were just a second too late and you dove to save it. Although, Bokuto’s spiking speed was superhuman sometimes, and you couldn’t quite get to it in time.

“Make sure you jump straight up! Don’t jump sideways!” Tsukishima nodded at you wordlessly and got ready to block again. This time, the toss went to Hinata and the blocker grouped close together. Tsukishima took your advice and jumped straight upwards, completely blocking out the spike. You smiled at him as he looked back at you, and he avoided your eyes, a slight pink hue staining his cheeks.

“Bring it again!” You giggled at Hinata, stepping closer to the net to watch him get all fired up.

“Um…” All of your heads turned towards the doors to see two girls, who you came to recognise as Fukurodani’s managers.

“If you don’t wrap up soon, the cafeteria will close, and you won’t get any dinner.” You huffed at the interruption, but you knew you were hungry, and the boys clearly were as well, judging by their faces.

“Well, we can’t go into battle on an empty stomach.” Kuroo swung his arm around your neck and pulled you into what was more like a headlock than anything else, dragging you out of the gym.

“Kuroo! Let me go!” He chucked and loosened up, keeping an arm around your shoulders.

“Shorty! We’ll continue this tomorrow.” You could just hear Hinata’s squeal of excitement and it brought a small grin to your face. You tried to shrug the captain’s arm from around you, but he had a firm grip on you.

“Tetsu! You’re all sweaty!” He burst into his typical hyena cackle and you couldn’t help but laugh at how hilarious it was, his arm falling away from you. Eventually, Akaashi came and dragged him away from you and you managed to calm yourself down.

Looking back, you saw Tsukishima staring at you with a sour look on his face. He was fine just a moment ago, what could have possibly annoyed him already?

“What’s with that look? Are you coming?” He grumbled something as he caught up to you, the both of you walking side by side.

“You two seem close.” Realising he was talking about you and Kuroo, you huffed, glaring up at him.

“Why? Are you jealous?” Before he could respond, you took a step closer to him, grabbing his arm and pulling it around you, settling it around your neck. He tensed up and you leaned into him as you walked, your head almost resting on his shoulder.

With a splutter of words, he pulled himself away from you quickly, widening the gap between the two of you. The blush on his cheeks was visible to you now, bringing one onto your own face.

Maybe that had been a bit too forward.

Although, it was quite amusing to see Tsukishima so flustered, being so used to him being unbelievably standoffish.

Once again, you began to bicker, and you took that as a sign that the two of you were back to your usual selves. You still weren’t really sure what had even happened a few days ago anymore, but it was nice to have someone to take you mind off of all of the action every once in a while.

All that was left was for you to make up with your brother,

It couldn’t be that hard.

~~~

You strolled into the gym just as Tobio missed one of the bottles he was using as target practice.

Despite you having taught him how to set, yours and your brother’s method of playing were completely different. You had never found much use in an inanimate target, but then again, Tobio practically breathes accuracy, and that wasn’t your style.

Neither him nor the coach had noticed you enter, and you stuck around to watch a few of his tosses. He was so close to getting a grip on the new quick, and yet he was so far off at the same time. You sighed, pushing yourself off of the wall you were leaning on and walking over to pick up a ball form the basket.

“You can leave if you want, coach. I’ll take it from here.” Both boys were surprised, both at your sudden appearance as well as your offer to help your brother practice. Everyone had done a good job of keeping the two of you away from each other as possible since your argument, but now it was time to get over it and get serious.

“Are you sure?” You nodded, and he gave you a pat on the back, wishing you good luck. You patiently waited until he had collected his things and was out of the gym before turning towards your brother.

“You’re being stupid.”

“Huh?” The first thing you say to him after not speaking for three weeks was an insult? What sense did that make?

“There aren’t going to be a bunch of bottles lines up on the court, Tobio. So why are you still thinking of them as bottles?” He didn’t seem to catch your point, and you spun the ball around in your hands absentmindedly.

“The bottles aren’t going to be spiking your tosses; Hinata is. So, imagine the positions of the bottles, but with a spiker there instead.” His lips parted and his eyes widened slightly as he understood what you wanted him to try. He had never thought of it that way, and simply imagining a spiker there would be so much easier. He nodded at you and you smirked, knowing that he was finally in his element.

You took your place at the back of the court and tossed the ball you were holding over to him. It arched over his head and you watched as his eyes studied it, contemplating the best position to send it to. His fingers barely even touched the ball and it was flying over to the other end of the court, aiming for the fifth bottle in line.

The ball curved overhead and then slowly stopped in mid-air, before dropping straight down onto the bottle and toppling it over. You both stared at it for a moment, before realising that he had actually done it.

Without a second thought, you rushed over to him, pulling him into a congratulatory hug. He seemed stunned for a second, but as your arms settled around his neck, he moved to wrap his own around your torso, holding you gently.

When you pulled away, you reached a hand up to his hair to ruffle it, causing him you scowl at you.

“So, does this mean you’re good now?”

“Only if you throw me some more balls.” Oh, you’d throw him some balls alright. You took aim and threw the ball as hard as you could, making his face the intended target. However, he ducked just in time, smirking at you as he straightened back up.

What you weren’t expecting, was the ball rebounding off the net and flying straight back into the back of his head. You burst out laughing, falling to your knees as he rubbed his head where it hit him.

Yeah, he was good.

You both were.

~~~

It was finally the last day of the training camp. You couldn’t decide whether you were pleased about it or upset yet.

While you were definitely going to be happy about sleeping in your own bed for once and not being surrounded by a hoard of sweaty boys every day, you knew that you were going to miss your friends. Compared to people like Semi, it wasn’t like you could just pop over to their house every now and then to see them, with them living all the way over in Tokyo.

Being so lost in thought, you hadn’t realised that you were in someone’s way, causing you to bump into them.

“Ah! I’m so sorry-oh. Hey, Keiji.” He gave you a tired smile and bowed his head in greeting.

“We missed you at practice last night. Tsukishima asked about you.”

“Yeah, sorry. I was helping Tobio… wait. Tsukishima asked about me?” He nodded and you stood frozen in shock.

“He looked pretty disappointed that you weren’t there.” He what now? You could not believe your ears. You were sure he still hated you, at least a bit, and you were also pretty sure there was something really weird going on between the two of you right now. Although, you could never really tell what he was thinking, that stupid nonchalant expression he always had plastered on his face constantly throwing you off.

“Well, I’ll see you at the match later, okay?”

“Ah, yeah, okay.” You were so lost in your thoughts, you barely registered him walking away until he was gone, leaving you standing completely dumbfounded in the hallway.

~~~

Once again, Karasuno started off their day by losing against Ubugawa. Despite that, they were starting to finally catch up in points and could very well win a match by the end of the day. You hoped so, at least.

Tobio still hadn’t used the new quick with Hinata yet, which you were slightly disappointed at, but you knew that he was saving it for the perfect moment, so you kept quiet for now.

You watched on as the team did yet another dive lap around the court, noticing how much better some of them had gotten at it from losing so often. It might actually come to some use during games if they used it right. The other teams seemed to have noticed their improvement as well, both on the court and off of it.

Although, you were all just tired at this point. The endless losses really did take a toll on their motivation and it was heart-breaking to see. You had a good feeling about today though, and hopefully you were right about it.

Picking up the boys’ water bottles you turned to go over and hand them out, only to see them surprisingly refreshed and… dancing?

“Oh, meat, meat, meat, oh, meat, meat!” You gaped at them as they chanted, feeling the sudden urge to hide in embarrassment. What were they even doing?

“Hooray for meat! Energy times a hundred! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Meat is god! Meat is god!” You couldn’t do anything except stare at them, not being able to comprehend what you were witnessing.

“Guess they found out about the barbecue.” Kiyoko came to stand next to you, picking up a few water bottles to join you in handing them out.

“Well, if it gets them riled up that much, we might actually see them win a match.” She chuckled along with you and you finally brought yourself to look away from the group of boys, convinced that they had just accidentally started a cult.

“Kageyama!” You reached the power duo a few moments later, just as Hinata called out to your brother. Pausing mid-way through handing them their water, you kept a close eye on them in case another fight managed to break out, but you doubted that would be happening anymore.

“I want to hurry up and hit that falling toss!” Oh, the boys were in for a treat. And they were playing against Fukurodani next as well. You grinned in excitement.

“Don’t rush.” Your grin immediately fell into a pout, already beginning to sulk.

“As long as I’m missing the tosses, it won’t be any practice for you.” But he wasn’t miss-

Ohhhhhh…

Lips twisting up into a smirk, you handed the two boys their bottles and walked off, the curious eyes of a few team members following you as you made your way back to the bench. You smiled to yourself as they began to giggle, a wave of relief washing over you and you could see them falling back into how their friendship used to be.

Everything was finally working out.

Slowly, but surely.

Just before the match, the coach called the team into a huddle to give them some encouragement.

However, you weren’t expecting him to nudge you forward, signalling for you to be the one to give them their usual pep talk today. They all blinked at you, and you blinked back, not really knowing what to say.

“Right, I know you’ve all had a rough time over the past week, and that sucks. But now, I want you to get your asses out on that court and give this game everything you’ve got. I don’t care is all of the new attacks work or if it just end up being one of them. You’re going to get into this match and show everyone in this gym that you have what it takes to beat a national-level team. You got me?” There was silence for a moment, none of them having expected you to come out with a speech like that.

“Nice one, dumbass.”

“Suck it, specs.” Tsukishima glowered at you from the back of the group. He was just opening his mouth to retort when the referee blew his whistle, signalling the start of the match. You sent him a bittersweet smile and watched as he huffed, all of the boys moving over to the court to take their positions.

“You know, as unexpected as that was, I think it was exactly what they needed right now.” As you turned to the coach in surprise, he chuckled at you. The boys were the only ones that he had seen making improvements over the past couple of months. He would say that you were the one who had grown the most, even if you couldn’t quite see it yet.

“If they’re thinking about something unusual before playing, it kind of takes the edge off a bit.” He nodded, impressed by the strange logic, and you both turned to watch the match.

Asahi was first up to serve, and while he had been practicing the move almost every day, you knew the success rate was still lower than he’d prefer it to be. All he needed was one good serve to spike his confidence, and hopefully, this one would be the one to do the trick.

“Asahi-senpai! Nice serve!” He smiled gratefully at your cheer of encouragement and you smiled back as he visibly relaxed. He took a deep breath and tossed the ball high up into the air. His hand hit ball with a good amount of power, and it looked as if it would land just within the boundaries of the court, but the opposing team’s libero received it before it could touch the floor.

“It’s off!” While it was a decent receive, especially with how fast the serve had been, it looked slightly short and Akaashi was forced to take a step or two away from the net to set it.

“Bokuto-san!” The ace enthusiastically ran up for the spike as Tobio and Tsukishima prepared to block it.

Within a split second, Bokuto had hit the ball and it was rebounding off of Tsukishima’s hands towards Fukurodani’s side of the court.

“Yes, Tsukki!” Finally, he had managed to block a spike.

“Out!” Indeed, the ball landed outside of the court and you felt a scowl creep up onto your face. You had spoken a bit too soon. He caught your eyes none the less and you swear that you saw the corners of his mouth twitch upwards.

The match continued and Karasuno was managing to keep up with the points, steadily maintaining one-point gap.

Asahi managed to break through the other team’s blockers, only for it to me miraculously received and put back into play. Although, it was off once again, and Akaashi found himself quite a way back from the net this time.

Even so, he set the ball with ease, and the blockers didn’t even have time to move before the ball was in your side of the court, giving the opponents yet another point.

“Damn, Akaashi. Pretty boy likes to show off.”

“Pretty boy?” It seemed that Tsukishima had heard you, even from the court, since he was stood closest to you. His eyebrow was raised, and you could tell that his eyes were teasing you from the way they danced behind his glasses.

“Oh, shush. Get back to your game.” He chuckled as you glared at him. For some reason, the nickname didn’t bother him one bit. He was never bothered at all by Akaashi, he realised. Which is why he was struggling to understand why Kuroo had been irking him so much over the past week.

Nishinoya nicely received the next serve, sending it over to your brother for him to set up ready for Tsukishima to spike. While the spike was pretty great, it was still dug out by their libero, who you were beginning to get increasingly frustrated with. He was good, you’d give him that.

Bokuto called for a spike, and you watched carefully as the blockers moved into place. With the front row being full of solid players, you were sure that all three of them would finally be able to block one of the ace’s spikes.

Although, you were clearly mistaken.

The owl-haired spiker managed to hit an insane cut shot, the ball flying past all of the blockers and landing neatly in your side of the court.

You gaped at the boy, having never seen him pull off a move like that. He needed to teach you that as soon as possible.

“Did you see that. Rei-chan? Huh? Huh?” You giggled as you watched him resisting the urge to run off of the court towards, instead moving over to Akaashi to make him join in on getting your attention.

“Yes, Tarō-senpai, it was amazing!” Some of your team grumbled at you for encouraging the enemy, but you couldn’t just lie and say that it wasn’t incredible, because it was. Even Akaashi looked shocked at him for managing to pull off the move.

“It was pure luck though!” Excuse you? He did that by chance?

He burst out laughing, clearly having boosted his own ego through the roof and you rolled your eyes in amusement.

Even with the light-hearted attitude, Fukurodani was slowly but surely pulling away in points, widening the gap between the two teams. It didn’t seem to bother your team though, and they carried on like they had been all week; receive, set, spike.

Tobio tossed over to Hinata, and while you were bursting with anticipation at the prospect of seeing the new quick, it still wasn’t the right time yet.

The smaller boy jumped as high as he could manage, reeling his arm back ready to break through the blockers and…

Feinted.

His hands merely tapped the ball and lightly arched it over the blockers’ hands. The entire team stood in disbelief as the opposing players dove for the ball, only to miss it by a few centimetres.

You knew the feeling of looking down on the players you had managed to catch out with a trick like that in the middle of a game, and that was what Hinata was currently experiencing for the first time. Along with that, he was always having to look up at people wherever he was due to his height, so towering so far above someone for a change must be exhilarating.

“A feint?” Bokuto was being his usual overdramatic self, and you hid a snicker behind your hand.

“You’re the one that taught it to him, Bokuto-san.” You burst out laughing at the irony. This must have been what you missed by skipping out practice with them the night before.

Tobio looked as if he was malfunctioning, an expression of complete bewilderment on his face.

“You actually used your head? You’re gonna get a fever.” You couldn’t stop laughing, to the point where you were choking from the lack of oxygen. Kiyoko patted your back and handed you your water bottle, which you took gratefully.

“We’re not gonna lose!” At least Bokuto was still fired up. You knew that it would encourage your boys to prove him wrong, and you couldn’t wait to see how they were going to do it.

Karasuno continued their attacks and were beginning to catch up in points, Tobio even going for a setter dump.

“I’d say that he’s almost completely back to normal.” Ukai hummed in agreement, knowing that all the duo needed to do now was nail the new quick.

“It feels like the calm before the storm. Kinda scares me.” It was true, but you had seen him like this many times before. He was truly in his element now, and it was going to take quite a lot to knock him out of place again.

Point after point was scored, and the team was doing amazing. You were pretty sure that this was the best you had ever seen them play since you had become their manager and it was truly incredible. Everyone was working in synch and they were managing to keep the ball in play no matter what. The match was running so smoothly that you could barely keep track of it all.

You saw Hinata race towards the net out of the corner of your eye.

It was time.

Now was the perfect moment to try the new quick. At this point, and with how well they had been playing throughout this match, you knew they could definitely pull it off, and you knew your brother could see that as well.

And yet he still hesitated.

It was clear as day on his face that he was anxious, something you rarely saw him express. Whether he didn’t want to mess up the toss or ruin the good atmosphere, you knew he was about to miss out on his chance.

But Tobio could never deny Hinata something that he wanted to do so desperately.

He was ready.

His fingers made contact with the ball and he tossed.

The ball arched over to Hinata…

…and then stopped.

Hinata’s palm made contact with the ball, and then it was rebounding off of the opposite side of the court floor, the other players not even having time to blink. There was silence in the gym as everyone processed the movement.

It had worked.

“Yes, Tobio! Finally!” He didn’t seem to hear you though, his gaze shifting towards his partner before they erupted in shrieks of excitement. Although, even that didn’t last long, and they were already bickering not even seconds later. The whole team began to celebrate, especially since it was the first of their new moves to actually work, and after a very long week of trying, it gave them that last push of hope they needed to keep going.

You chuckled as you watched them, an expression of pure pride taking over your features. Tobio looked so happy, genuinely happy, for the first time in three weeks, and you were just glad that things were getting back to normal at last.

The final puzzle piece had settled into place.

~~~

There was really no stopping Karasuno today.

The match continued on and you could barely contain your excitement. They were still managing to keep up with Fukurodani in points, and their teamwork was better than ever.

Unfortunately, the new quick wasn’t exactly working out as well as everyone had hoped, and you winced as the toss came just a bit too short, making it impossible for Hinata to spike. The buzz from it working so well the first time must be distracting Tobio, but you were sure that he would shake it off soon.

Hinata managed to get a hand on the next spike, but your brother ended up being the one to receive it, meaning that he couldn’t set it. Noya immediately sprang into action, leaping in the air from just behind the back line. Rotating his body, the ball fell into his hands and he tossed it over to the spikers.

Asahi hit the ball with and impressive amount of force and sent it flying towards the floor, but it ended up landing just outside of the court boundary. Either way, it worked! That was the second of their new attacks to finally work after so long of trying.

“Nishinoya-san! That was incredible!” He was clearly upset about the attack not scoring them a point, but he relaxed considerably at your smile, giving you a thumbs up, which you returned.

The team kept up the pace, trying to close the gap in points completely. As Noya received another of Fukurodani’s spikes, you noticed everyone’s attitudes shift at once and you gulped. They were all so serious when they were on the court that it was scary sometimes.

“Now!” All for spikers began to run forward and you stared in awe.

Was this it?

Would it work?

One by one they jumped into the air and even you couldn’t figure out where the toss was going until Tobio set the ball, sending it over to Tanaka. He hit it just right and landed the ball in the court while the blockers were still distracted, earning the point for Karasuno.

“All right!”

“Yes, Tanaka-san! One more!” He looked as though he could cry, and you couldn’t imagine how they all felt with the attacks going as well as they were, especially after so much hard work.

Looking over at the other team, it looked as though Bokuto was beginning to get frustrated with their sudden improvement. Even Akaashi had an irritated scowl on his face.

After a few more points, they were really getting into the game. Asahi managed to score with his serve, the libero not being able to receive it due to the force, Tsukishima’s blocks were holding up nicely, getting a hand on the ball even if he couldn’t stop it, and the libero-set worked once again, Daichi managing to score the point this time.

A time out was called when both teams reached eighteen points, and you could more or less feel the buzz of confidence surrounding your players.

“If we can keep number four under control, victory is in sight.” You knew they were doing well, but you weren’t so sure that he was right.

“Don’t get too cocky though.” Their attention turned to you and you smiled at them slyly.

“As I‘m sure you’ve seen from a few other teams that you’ve played, a team is not just their ace. A proper team ensures that they don’t just have to rely on one player.” They looked as though they knew what you were saying but didn’t quite understand.

“With the way Bokuto is looking right now, you’re about to experience this first-hand, so get ready.” All you received in response was a bunch of blank stares, none of them quite knowing what you were getting at, but they agreed with you none the less. As they got ready to get back to playing, you caught Akaashi’s eye and you chuckled, knowing exactly what was coming.

Fukurodani managed to earn a point straight away to set them in the lead again, but you didn’t like the way Bokuto stalked off to the back of the court to serve. He was losing his temper majorly, and that was never good.

“All right! Here I go!” As usual, he tossed the ball up in the air and got ready to deliver his immensely powerful serve.

Only to serve it straight into the net beside Konoha’s head.

Bokuto fell to his knees in anguish, and you rolled your eyes at his dramatics while his teammates tried to calm him down. Karasuno didn’t seem phased just yet, but then again, they didn’t know what was about to happen.

“Bring it to me!” You winced as Bokuto called out for another toss. Sending it to his was risky, in case he missed again, but not sending it to him was also risky, in case he threw a tantrum, so it was impossible to know the right decision. Poor Akaashi.

Said setter sent the ball over to him anyway, but he couldn’t manage to get past the three blockers in his way. Their libero managed to retrieve the ball and keep it in play, but Bokuto was already calling for another toss. You could see the hesitation in Akaashi’s face. Missing three strikes in a row was definitely sure to destroy him.

The blockers jumped to stop him, and the ball fell to the floor on Fukurodani’s side of the court.

Only, the blockers weren’t what stopped it.

It had hit the top of the net.

“Oh no,” The coach followed you line of sight over to see the ace stood in the middle of the court, his team surrounding him as he hung his head low.

“Akaashi…” Was it time already?

“Don’t toss to me anymore for today!” There it was; Bokuto’s emo mode.

“Okay. Then while I’m not tossing to you, please calm yourself down.” You really admired how easily the setter could deal with his friend. Your boys seemed extremely confused at the outburst, but you could see the realisation in a few of their faces as they connected it to what you had said to them just a few moments ago.

Despite the disruption, Fukurodani was able to easily keep up in points, not letting Karasuno get more than one point ahead at any given time.

“It doesn’t seem like Fukurodani is fazed at all.” You grinned at the two adults stood next to you as they looked over for some sort of explanation.

“Bokuto may be the captain and act like the strongest member of the team, but really he’s just a big baby. Once he starts to lose his temper he’s more or less an active bomb waiting to explode. They’re all used to it by now.” Ukai hummed in thought.

“So that’s what you meant by them not relying on just one player. All of them are pretty well rounded.” Nodding, you looked back just as Akaashi tipped the ball into your side of the court instead of setting it.

It was always nice to see Akaashi use a setter dump, because nobody ever expected it, being too busy watching their ace.

“Ah, this is so sad.” Bokuto was wandering around the court like a lost puppy, his teammates handling everything for him.

They managed to reach match point very quickly, even without their star player, and it began to become clear that Karasuno wasn’t going to be able to win this, not today at least.

Tsukishima managed to completely shut out one of their spikes and you smiled. He was finally working as part of the team.

Asahi’s next serve was well received by their libero, meaning that Fukurodani would have a good shot at a point. You could see Bokuto fidgeting relentlessly, desperate for a spike. He was glancing over at Akaashi every few seconds, keeping an eye on who the spike was about to be sent to.

Akaashi set the ball and it arched well over the other spikers, towards the very left of the court. Tobio and Tsukishima had finally realised what was about to happen, having taken their attention away from the ace since he hadn’t been spiking any balls.

The boys couldn’t reach him in time to block the ball, not even getting a hand on it. It flew straight between the two of them and hit the floor with an impressive amount of force, bringing a smirk to Akaashi’s lips.

The match was finally over, and yet Bokuto still seemed to be in a bad mood, which is where Akaashi looked over to you for help. He smiled at you guiltily, silently pleading with you for help, and you couldn’t resist.

Sighing, you looked up at Ukai, who rolled his eyes but still nodded at you to go ahead.

You placed your notebook under your arm to hold it and cupped your hands around your mouth to amplify your voice.

“Tarō-senpai! That was awesome! Only the best from the ace!” He began to laugh manically, and you immediately knew it had worked. It really didn’t take much to pull him out of a mood like this, especially when his main motivator was his own ego.

“In the end, I am the strongest! Hey, hey, hey!” You smiled fondly at your friend, before turning your attention back to your own team, only to find them all glaring you down.

“Why would you do that?”

“Traitor.” Giggling, you began to hand out their water bottles, congratulating them on how well they all did.

They had managed to hold up their own pretty well against some of the best teams in the country that week.

You couldn’t be prouder of them.

~~~

The barbecue rolled around in the late afternoon and the smell of cooked meat in the warm summer air was heavenly. You couldn’t think of a better way to end the week for both you and the boys other than this. The relaxing atmosphere was definitely a welcome change from the chaos that the matches had been.

You managed to pick out the tall blond that you had been looking for surprisingly easily amidst the crowd of players and you made your way over to him gradually, greeting most of the other players and managers you crossed paths with on the way.

“Did you have fun?” He jumped as you appeared behind him suddenly, having not noticed you approaching. You smiled widely up at him as you waited for him to answer you, and he couldn’t help but notice how tired you were.

Even if you hadn’t been playing yourself, you had been working hard to keep all of the boys, and especially himself, in check over the entire camp. It must have been exhausting for you to deal with an entire team of unruly boys every day. He was slightly guilty that he had been the majority of the trouble you had dealt with, meaning he was a big part of the reason you looked so worn out.

“Y-yeah. I think I did.” A nice silence settled in between the two of you, and Tsukishima forced himself to move his gaze away from you, afraid of what he would do if he continued to stare into your eyes like he had been.

“It’s nice to see you finally enjoying yourself a bit. Keep it up, beanpole.” Hit you. He would hit you if he carried on looking at you.

Even so, he chuckled at the nickname, slowly growing to somewhat like it, all because you were the one that called him that.

“Enjoy the feast, Tsukki.” You placed a hand gently on his upper arm as you passed him, going back over to mingle with the other players. He kept his focus on you as you moved across the yard to go and speak with Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo. He barely noticed as his mood began to darken, a scowl rising on his face and his fists clenching at his sides as he watched you laugh at one of their stupid jokes.

“So, you do like her then?”

“Yeah- what?” He whipped his head to the side in panic to see Yamaguchi stood there with his arms crossed and a smug look on his face. Tsukishima was frozen in place, at a complete loss of what to say.

Fuck.

“I knew it.” The blond sighed. There was no use in denying it now.

He was in big trouble.

taglist: @tchalameme, @iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire, @loreblackthorne, @lorentime, @influxencer, @enagmaticether, @nerdstuff1994, @keikink, @ewwis

J: I’ve also been posting some birthday imagines for the boys, so if you’d like, you can check those out on my main karasuno masterlist :)

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#tsukishima #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukki #tsukishima kei x reader #karasuno

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koorinohebi · 4 years ago

Text

@super-kame-love

Continued From:

I am curious: how would you describe Kiomi's relationship with Jiraiya? And with Koji Kashin? What you've shared about them so far seems very interesting and I must know more!

+ + +

Sorry for breaking it into two different posts, Kame-san. The other one felt so long already.

Quick note: IF you haven't read or watched Boruto, this will definitely contain spoilers.

So for this second one, we have...

Kashin Koji

So the main reason I was interested in him was when rumors were floating around that Jiraiya or someone that resembles him is back in Boruto. One look at his design and I was like, yeah. Unmistakably related in one way or another. Lo and behold my friend, lo and behold.

I have 2 verses for Kashin Koji. One is the one where you often see me mention Takeda. That one is an on going RP with @ambitiousparagon, and the other one is a verse where I pen Koji myself. The one with Takeda is still in the works and currently still very unpredictable, so for this instance I'll talk about my own version of Kashin Koji, which actually...more than Kiomi being the main focus, I tend to lean more towards the man himself. This is heavily influenced by headcanons that are based on what I noticed his personality being based on what we know so far.

So when I first encountered Kashin Koji there was hardly anything on him, which is to say, still very true currently. He hasn't been seen in the manga after his crushing defeat against Isshiki, and in the anime, they've given him a voice, and we see how he acts, but ultimately it doesn't differ from what we've already read in the manga (if you or any of the ones reading this have read it).

So Kashin Koji is, despite being quite whimsical, a no nonsense kinda guy. So he is very...well, I wouldn't call it by the book, but as a shinobi, he chooses the most efficient way to carry out the mission, which is...by default, how Amado had initially programed him-- Not as a perfectionist, no, but as Isshiki would say it, Amado's programming of Kashin Koji rode on his maker clinging onto Jiraiya's mighty fate. However, with Jiraiya being the template, it's not a surprise if Koji would inherit the man's sentiments, principles, and even slight eccentricities as a Shinobi (which I believe Amado had predicted and saw as a weakness. He needs and creates tools as he sees fit, and he'll use whatever he can to further his agenda). Amado strives to emulate within Kashin Koji the "star of change" which Jiraiya possessed. As we know, thanks not only to the prophecy, but also due to Jiraiya's diligence in searching for that revolutionary that could change the world, he was able to bring together (in one way or another) three of the most powerful game changers that we have who affected the course of the current History. If they wanted to defeat Isshiki, he needed that kind of trick up his sleeve. Because however, Kashin Koji has imperfections, and someone Jigen had deemed weaker than he is (because Jigen told Amado to dispose of clones more powerful than he was), our good professor faces a setback and thus needs to come up with a new plan (going to the Hokage, and asking them to kill Isshiki instead while having Kashin Koji show them the "ropes" on how it's done).

My take on him stems from this human weakness. Kashin Koji is aware of who he's supposed to be a clone of. We see this when he comments on his fate being tied to Konoha and the like. And admittedly, knowing your predecessor's legacy, not to mention having been able to perfect something that the original couldn't gives him a bit of an ability to brag, and believe that he can be just as great or even greater than Jiraiya.

But the question is how convinced he is of this himself. I do believe that Kashin Koji wants to be a person of his own, and in being the perfect heroic shinobi tool, even if he dies, it wouldn't be for naught so long as he brings down his target (which happens to be the biggest threat since Madara, Tobi, and Kaguya). Believing that Amadao was entrusting the fate of the world in his hands bolstered his confidence. However, when Isshiki pointed out the painful truth of Amado's betrayal and deception, he internally refuses to accept it. That he was just a pawn, and that he'd never break free from being nothing but Jiraiya's shadow. I always felt that if at the baseness of Jiraiya's personality, you have a decent grasp of his shortcomings, regrets, and insecurities, you'll get a good grasp of Kashin Koji too. Although it's just my headcanon (and people dont really have to abide by it), Koji too, is plagued by this ever looming sense of not being good enough, as well as not living up to the name of his original (very much like how Jiraiya felt his accomplishments dont match that of Sandaime or Minato).

So after this long explanation on my take on Kashin Koji, you may ask where Kiomi comes in. Well, she comes in as a form of support.

Just as with Naruto's unreasonable worry, the first time that Kiomi sees Kashin Koji, she's instantly unreasonably bothered by him as well. Worse, when the mask comes off, and she sees his face she is instantly appalled and angry because everything that she's been keeping inside is dragged to the surface. Of course, none of this was Kashin Koji's fault. It was more of Kiomi's own regret, and seeing him was like opening a can of worms for her, reminding her of all the things she wanted to do and say had her teacher been alive. At the same time, she's very irked that someone was running around with his face, because someone had the gall to deliberately make a "knock off" as she calls it, of the man she respects the most.

With this much animosity, one would wonder how Kiomi becomes his support. While Kiomi and Kashin Koji initially dislikes each other, the woman rejects the fact that he's just "some clone", as he is also a person who deserves to live his life as himself regardless of whether he was created as a tool or as a clone. If you remember from my first post about Kiomi and Jiraiya's relationship, this was exactly the same kind of treatment that Jiraiya gave Kiomi when she viewed herself as nothing more than a disposable chess piece. She doesn't say this outright to Kashin Koji though. He learns this on his own. Seeing that someone believed in his own possibilities gave him a little peace of mind, just a little. In effect, this draws his curiosity. Kashin Koji being an Inner of Kara does his assignment pretty well, so he would by effect, know who she was as too. He believed she would be one of those who would constantly see him as a glorified Kagebunshin, but surprisingly she didn't. In fact, seeing as he was who he was, it would make him a perfect replacement, but she didn't treat him like that. This makes him loosen up around her, enough that his usually snide and sarcastic remarks are now laced with a hint of fond teasing. Ironically, she hates it when he does this, as it reminds her of Jiraiya. (Because Jiraiya often teases her about one thing or another.)

One of my favorite interactions of them is probably this one, just because it shows a little bit of both their internal struggles and how they deal with each other.

===

“Tell me,” Instead of standing to leave, he remained seated opposite from her. Kashin Koji removed the mask which barred a portion of his face that she was surely uncomfortable seeing. And he was right. She averted her eyes briefly, before putting up a look of feigned indifference once their optics finally met.

There was relative distress in her features, that much he could tell while staring at her…curiously, seriously. “Do I resemble him? This Jiraiya of yours.”

Looking at him was like staring into a nightmare, a stark reminder of what she could never hope to have. However, she understood his question. They were past simple notions of physicality. It wasn’t just about his face, nor was it about his origin. It was deeper than that. For Kiomi’s alleged simple-mindedness, this concept was not something so hard to grasp. Not when this was the very base of the learnings she had inherited from the mentor she respected the most. Despite Jiraiya and Kashin Koji’s shared similarities, they were still two very different people, each with their own uniqueness. Besides, denying a man his own identity was probably the cruelest judgment any living being could impose on another.

“You don’t.” The answer came simply; however, he did not miss the semblance of melancholy that lingered upon her visage. To him, it felt indicative of disappointment…such fragile and complicated feelings.

“I see.” Kashin Koji had closed his eyes then, satisfied with the answer. In a sense, he felt his lips curve into a smirk. Two words of reassurance; to think that hearing something so simple had such a significant impact. And as for Kiomi who had only seen the man scowl at her existence, this look on his face for the first time caused her chest to ache. Perhaps in her words, she knew not if a lie existed; if only because such an expression looked frighteningly similar to her teacher’s.

“The two of you must have loved each other very dearly.” At this point, he had refocused his gaze upon the female, only to raise a brow shortly after. He had never seen anyone choke on air before. Her flustered features shouldn’t have been anything extraordinary, but it felt amusing. “Was I mistaken?”

“Yes, you’re wrong! You’re very wrong!” She retorted, her flushed face, easily beating the most crimson of fruits. “Everything, this…my…they’re all just…” She tried to calm down as she explained. “…they’re all just…what I’m trying to say is…whatever they are, they’re all just one-sided emotions…” She looked downtrodden. He recalled Naruto saying that their mentor died while she was away figuring out herself, and had carried a burden none of them could share. Jiraiya had meant everything to them, each within varying degrees unknown just how much to the other.

After learning that all of this was one sided, he looked at her with lethargy. “Are you actually an idiot after all?”

“Oi, you actually dare to call me an idiot in my own house? Besides, it’s not like I stood a chance against the person he sought after.” It wasn’t a secret to her after all, that he had his eyes on Lady Tsunade. What chance did she have against someone who had shared in his losses, successes, strife, and victories?

“Was what you felt actually so flimsy that it lost to someone else’s? Did you confirm it with your own mouth?”

The questions that bombarded her, matched with such an unexpected interrogator threw her off. So much that when she had come to her senses, she found herself face to face with Kashin Koji. If she was distraught earlier, then the ante had been upped then and there. Trapped in between his arms, being stared at, it felt horrible and suffocating for many reasons that she convinced herself that she couldn't understand. “Should I teach you just how lofty your feelings are?” He lingered so close, too close for comfort. But that was where she drew the line. Steeling herself, she pulled her head back just enough to give her some room to drive her forehead down against his. THWACK!

Both of them found themselves clutching their heads, one clicked his tongue and the other was cussing up a storm in her mind--and verbally, apparently.

“Don’t you dare mock me—“

She was on the verge of throwing him out, but there he was, laughing, collapsed on the floor as he held onto his forehead. She stifled her annoyance because she remembered how; pranks of the same nature had been done to her, by none other than her favorite mentor. And he would laugh just the same. At least sensei’s were a little more innocent and subtle. “Don’t laugh at me either!” She demanded with childish vigor, kicking him in the shin repeatedly. He fended them off well enough, which added to her irritation.

“That’s enough out of you.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do in my own hou—hou—“ That was to say, if she wasn’t going to stop her assault, then he would have to play along. Grabbing her ankle when she struck, he pulled her over; just enough to make her balance crumble, bringing her down effectively.

“What the actual hell is wrong with you?”

“Even now, you’re struggling to protect what’s important to you. You may be a bit weaker than others, but it doesn’t seem like you’re lacking in persistence and perseverance. What are you so afraid of?”

Again with questions and commentaries that she did not ask for…

Her silence was enough of a response. Regrets, apprehensions, guilt, it was painted on her face. Shaking his head, Kashin Koji came to a stand and dusted himself, thereafter extending a hand for her to take.

“At the very least, come up to the starting line and show that mentor of yours your resolve.”

She begrudgingly looked at the hand that was offered to her. She felt ashamed and annoyed at herself because she knew that his point was valid. He wasn’t wrong, and in fact, he made more sense than she had wanted to admit. With an inward sigh, she took that hand and he helped her to her feet.

“…” Their grasp on each other persisted for a while. There was no warmth there; no comfort of a familiar friend, but there was a firmness that was enough to uproot whatever doubt it was that crept within the confines of her mind. She wouldn’t exactly call the other’s presence reassuring, but in a sense it was something close to it.

“Tsk, just who do you think you are? Acting all high and mighty?” Compared to before, the scowl had turned a bit friendly, but a scowl none the less.

“In case you haven’t heard or have been mistaking me for someone else, it’s Kashin Koji.” He replied with a tinge of whimsy in his voice. Matched with that was a tighter grip on the female’s hand which she reciprocated in kind. “Kiomi.” She rebutted against his satirical introduction.

When they at last released each other, there was probably a reddening mark there, but it also seemed like they’ve come to a certain understanding. “With a grip like that, what do you even hope to accomplish?”

Everything that comes out of his mouth is a fucking insult… Kiomi mused, unabashed by such a sentiment. Still, she watched him retrieve his mask only to wear it over his face once more. “I’ve a scouting mission at the Hokage’s behest. Two days time.” He stated out of the blue, walking towards her direction, incidentally near the exit. “Join me.”

“And why exactly, should I do that?” Folding her arms over her chest, she asked.

“Learn something useful rather than wallow in your self-pity.” Just before he could pass her completely, the intruder halted to cup her cheeks, moving it side to side casually.

(I made a thing.Lol Kiomi and her tendency to get manhandled.) There was no tenderness there, rather it seemed like he was inspecting a toy for some kind of defect. “You dont seem outclassed by anyone, not even by the Godaime. Put yourself to good use. You are a Shinobi, after all.”

“What does Lady Tsunade even have to do with this?”

“Who else would you feel so inferior to? It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Besides,”

Finally, he’d relinquish his hold to observe her frame carefully. She was a slender woman, possibly bordering voluptuous underneath all that fabric. From the wrinkles and silhouette of her attire, he could tell that she was filled out in all the right places. Fair skin, a set of apprehensive platinum orbs…among other things. “You have the curves. Maybe not the appeal and self confidence, but you have the curves. You’ll be fine.”

Perhaps it was in that retort that Kiomi ran after Kashin Koji as he left her place, albeit with a senbon or two hurled at the man. “I was wrong; you’re probably just as much of a letch as sensei!”

The projectiles were caught between the fingers and twirled around with ease, no troubles at all. He contemplated for a mere second before deciding to keep them as a souvenir. “You wound me with your presumptuousness. I'm a busy man, and have no time for countless women. Such a disappointing assessment.” He waved her off, walking away and finally disappearing from sight.

===

Pardon the length, but this is how they normally interact in my story.

Koji serves as a challenge for Kiomi, while Kiomi serves as a "net" for Koji so that when he falls pray to his feeling of incompetency, he remembers that she expects him to plainly be Kashin Koji, and no one else. Both of them remind each other of something important which they both hope would make them better versions of themselves.

So what kind of relationship do they have? I'm pretty sure it's along the lines of frienemies.

#|| Breaking the Ice || Answered #super-kame-love #I told myself this was going to be an quick explanation for both #Lol. 10 hours later...#Kashin Koji has reached that level of comfort with her where he can just use his face to piss her off.

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chorusnihili · 3 years ago

Note

I'd love to hear more about the development of your Gaster! :D

BACKSTORY ASK MEME 1. How did you first come up with your muse’s backstory, if you did at all? Continued from here Also asked by @alagaster

So I left off with the question of just how Gaster's soul ended up in pieces.

I’m actually going to detour at the moment and say that it was around that point that I had decided to make the blog. I had a vague beginning and an ending, and usually that’s not enough for me to want to start, but I was excited, I had a lot of fun, so I went for it.

Honestly, one of the first things I need to have before I even think of making a blog is a good url. Urls are super important to me, and generally, whether or not I think of a good one is a key factor in whether or not I actually make the blog.

But in this case, I was too eager to start and I actually just threw together chorusnihil so I could get started on the pages. The thought process remained the same--the chorus is from Greek plays, the group of characters that narrate the actions occurring in the play. nihil is Latin for nothing--and I later changed it to nihili, which is Genitive, to roughly make the “chorus of nothing” or “nothing’s chorus,” a reference to the fact that the guy wiped himself out of history, and so there’s no protagonist to narrate. This was supposed to be a temporary URL, but I got attached to it, for reasons I’ll get to later.

(And really, isn’t a roleplay blog a modern chorus in it’s own way?)

Also there’s the phonetic pun-- CORE-us, anyone?

So I threw together a lot of the basic bios. Most of the stat pages are really bland, most of the guts of the story comes from the hidden details, most of which were added on later.

Something that came up around this point was Gaster’s relationship to Asgore. A lot of fanon pictures them as really close. A lot of fanon also portrays Gaster as Gaster as desperately wanting to retake the surface, which...as mentioned previously, my Gaster just, wasn’t into.

So it sort of put Gaster in between Asgore and Toriel--he wasn’t happy about the decision to go to war with humanity, but he wasn’t going to abandon everyone, even if he did become really reclusive.

I thought about the idea of the human souls, and I knew that Gaster would immediately hate the idea of working with them. And that was convenient, too, since it allowed me to further separate Gaster and Alphys’s work. At first, it was just a heavy disagreement. The idea that Gaster killed Asgore accidentally came a great deal later, but it honestly served to be a rather critical piece of the story.

The design of the DT Extractor and Sans and Papyrus were also very vague concepts at this point.

Revisiting the idea of his fall. We know from the canon dialogue that he fell into his own invention and that he was scatted across space and time.

The CORE is the common culprit and it was what I had chosen, too. But how? How could an energy source... do that?

So the idea occurred to me that maybe--maybe that was exactly as it was designed to do. After all, even in the real world, we have power plants that operate by ripping apart molecules. So... magic. Why not magic? A machine that derives power out of ripping apart magical energy.

And monsters are made out of magical energy.

Falling into that sounds like a very grisly fate, indeed.

The idea of how he got erased from reality isn’t one I really have solidified. G has a couple of theories, and I’m willing to roll with either of them, but, really? I’m not super interested in making a hard reason for it. Namely to adapt to other versions of fanon other muns might have.

Essentially, the theories say that the CORE destroying him released so much energy that it tore a hole in the Determination that pushes the timeline forward, thus allowing the Void to enter and merge with his soul.

From there, either,

A., his Determination very briefly was larger than that of the Timeline, and he himself invoked a Reset, but given that he was outside of the timeline at the moment, it was corrupted and only erased certain parts rather than fully resetting. I think that this was the original theory that I used in the original RP.

B., the Void acted as a corrective force trying to correct the hole in the timeline. In doing so, it erased Gaster from the reality, thus replacing the existing timeline with a new one in which certain things never happened.

C., something involving the power of Rewrite that Gaster has from the duality of Determination and Void.

D., something else entirely.

And so we had the scattered Unbound Gaster.

Which, funfact, the name Unbound Gaster for the form was supposed to be temporary, as well. It’s a reference to Unbound Hoopa for Pokemon. (Which is why Provoked Form Gaster isn’t called Unbound Form!)

Within the original RP that I developed most of this lore, Refused Gaster didn’t exist. In fact, that roleplay ended with Gaster’s permanent death--and being permanently forgotten to the world. A choice he intentionally made because the damage he did to the timeline by falling into the CORE was still present and only getting worse, and the only way to fix it was to allow his Soul to come together and pass on properly, thus allowing the damage to mend.

It was sad. I cried. I got emotional.

I got attached to a traumatic asshole character I literally had for four days.

Somewhere in here, I began to think about the origins of Gaster. Like, way way way in the past. Some people have Gaster being actively involved in the war, but it didn’t work for my portrayal, of having him be so afraid of humans and the surface. So for it to work out, I had him really young for the war, really young when everyone got driven underground.

I killed off his parents because ......

Frankly I didn’t want to design them :|

There’s a lot of varying opinions and interpretations about skeleton monsters, and it’s a section of the fandom I’ve decided to stray away from for now.

But I didn’t want the loss to be traumatic. Gaster’s been through a lot already, and I have personal vendettas against characters who solely consist of trauma after trauma.

So I decided to make the loss very distant--he’s aware he probably had parents, or maybe he came to be some other way--but he doesn’t remember them, there’s no tragic “my parents were killed in front of me,” it’s simply something he didn’t have, and something he never needed given the nature of monsters to be kind and caring.

...

But it felt like it was missing something.

So I started to toy around with this idea of a mentor, one who played the role of a father-figure, one who would plant the seeds to give Gaster the appreciation of science and knowledge. Someone who could take this lost and terrified boy and start to turn him into the intelligent and steady doctor we end up with.

Then came the problem of how he and this mentor would actually meet; Gaster’s scar proved to be a convenient excuse, plus it gave me a backstory for that, as well. A few humans attacked him and delivered the injury, and Gaster’s mentor found the wounded boy and took care of him.

The mentor is meant to be a vague entity, and you can view this in action in this memory. (Only partially because I didn’t want to name them.) Unfortunately, as per the nature of characters created post hoc, their fate was already sealed. I made the choice to cut their influence on Gaster’s life short.

(If they were around longer, who knows? Maybe they could have prevented some of the stupider things Gaster has done. Maybe they could have changed fate. But... as we’ll get to, everything happened exactly as it had to.)

Again, I made it a very distant loss. It’s a rather simple conclusion that not every monster would be happy vacating the surface--Gaster’s mentor had lived there their entire life. It was their home, they were not leaving, even upon threat of death. And so it was a bittersweet parting, but one with closure, and Gaster said his farewells and departed to the Underground.

Honestly, what I find really shocking about this character is just how intensely he wants to do good. I mean, I’m no stranger to good characters, but few of my characters push it as far as Gaster does, and how quickly that feeling came to me, considering he started in the original roleplay as a ruthless asshole bastard more than willing to fuck over and torture a bunch of children just for a chance at being whole again.

Most of Gaster’s early life in the Underground found in this post was written on the spot as I wrote that post, so it came really late.

I still find it hilarious that he used to work in therapy. You’re well aware you need therapy you fucking bastard. Quit denying it.

So, revisiting the idea of Gaster and Asgore. I do like the idea of them being close, and Gaster even calls Asgore his best friend. The declaration of war put a huge strain on the relationship.

I originally thought about the idea of him accidentally killing Asgore for shits n giggles. At my heart I am indeed an angst gremlin, so I was just thinking about what an alternate timeline where that happened might be like. After all, Gaster’s angry, Asgore’s full of guilt, with the way monster magic works, it wouldn’t be too far of a stretch to think that it could happen.

But the more I thought about it, the more it fit eerily well. The guilt gave Gaster a reason to create Sans (and later Papyrus) as part of his belief in Karma (creating a life to replace the life he took) and to look into Alphys’s research into Determination enough to create the blueprints for the DT Extractor; both of these things were things that I couldn’t otherwise really fit into his storyline.

And finally...

His declining mental state and despair over the concept of the DT Extractor was what led to him being distracted enough to make such a critical mistake and fall into the CORE.

And given that the timeline changes when he falls, I realized that... I could have this happen, and the current timeline be unaffected.

Now, given that I said that I wanted to avoid more trauma in Gaster’s life, this decision might seem contradictory. But, it also served a very important point--Asgore returning to life, that mistake being fixed upon his fall gave Gaster something to hold onto. Something that made his fate not as awful as it otherwise would have been. A small piece of solace in hell.

Plus, Gaster’s guilt at the incident caused him to resign as Royal Scientist, further allowing him and Alphys to have their separate stories.

And pretty much everything snapped together at that point. Really, strangely well. I joked before on this blog if I’m really the one writing it.

If Gaster had not killed Asgore, he would have never created Sans and Papyrus, he would have never created the DT Extractor blueprints; if he did not create the blueprints, he would have never been distracted enough to fall into the CORE, if he never fell into the CORE, the blueprints would have never ended up with Alphys, she could have never created Flowey, and if Flowey was never created, he could have never used the souls to break the barrier and the True Pacifist ending would have never come to pass.

It all happened exactly as it had to.

It feels oddly poetic, given the way Undertale works.

In some ways, it’s cruel. Gaster regularly struggles with the idea that for his people to be happy, he had to literally be wiped out of existence. But in other ways, it’s a comfort--for at least he knows that his suffering wasn’t for nothing. That there was a purpose--that even if he had to be erased, he played a vital role in ensuring his people found victory.

Oh. One final note... In finalizing this story, you may notice that Gaster follows a classic pattern. We have a hero, who’s mostly good, but through his own flaws makes a tragic mistake and seals his own grim fate.

It’s called a tragedy and they’re common in Greek plays.

What was that about a chorus again?

I think that’s just about every important point I could cover. That being said, if you couldn’t tell, this is a very fascinating topic to me, so if you have any further questions or need any clarifications, feel free to send them in.

#let type = out of character #let type = answer

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haikyuuscreaming · 5 years ago

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hi um so no one requested this but like i went through something basically like this and cried a whole lot about it and i dont think its even that angsty or makes sense but i just barfed it up as a vent fic so haha funny imi’s stupid and writes about her emotional exhaustion as an x reader

heres an unrequited iwaizumi x reader :D (SORRY THIS ISNT FDSKFJ this isnt really a tumblr drabbles its more of an ao3 oneshot so)

(also sorry if none of the fic makes sense or flows well,,, i just wanted to get this out)

Ever since your first day at Kitagawa Daiichi, you found yourself with a crush on Iwaizumi Hajime.

You couldn’t help it. As soon as you saw him in your school-orientation group the week before school started, you couldn’t help but feel something more than a friendly glow. You were already sitting with your orientation group, but once you saw him join the group (albeit sort of late), your stomach practically flipped with butterflies.

He even sat down next to you.

The rest of the orientation went more than fine. Your delight when Iwaizumi started conversations with you was absolutely immeasurable. Even when your group was performing normal get-to-know-you activities, your heart seemed to race every time he made eye contact with you.

“Your name’s [Surname] [Name], right?” Iwaizumi asked, tapping his pencil against his desk. The orientation paper had asked for the names of three people in your group.

“Yeah.. and you’re Iwaizumi Hajime…?” You didn’t really need to question it, but you did so anyway to be polite.

“Mhm. Uh-- sorry, how do you spell your name?” Your heart picked up its pace once you heard him attempt to spell it out. To your feeble, gleeful surprise, he spelled it right.

“Oh! Um, that’s actually how you spell it. Thanks.”

“No problem.” He smiles at you and your seventh grade self felt like beaming brighter.

His impression on you had lasted.

In fact, that first impression on you had made your school year much better somehow.

Initially, you wanted to go to Yukigaoka with your best friends, but you ended up getting into Kitagawa Daiichi. You were miserable at the prospect of going into a school without your best friends that had been with you through thick and thin, but you lit up once you saw your schedule and found you had quite a few classes with Iwaizumi.

Throughout middle school, you made new friends and became close with Iwaizumi and his friend Oikawa Tooru. They eventually became one of your primary friend groups: you and them. Your number one best friend though, you found, was a new friend you made, Hanae.

Maybe the first mistake you made was telling her that you had a crush on Iwaizumi.

Okay, well, you didn’t tell her- she found out? Forced it out of you? Either way, not a big deal, you two are basically sisters now. But you did kind of wish she would stop mentioning it so much.

“Look, [Name]-chan~” she would always laugh and point at him discreetly whenever he was in the vicinity. “It’s your future boyfriend.”

It was always the same, every time.

“Would you shut up,” you complain, smacking her shoulder lightly which earned a laugh from her. “He could be listening!”

“Just telling the truth~” Hanae would always flash a smile back.

Things changed, though.

On a hang-out with Iwaizumi and Oikawa, you noticed their glances at each other-- Iwaizumi's being weary, while Oikawa’s was cheeky and sly.

“Hey, what are you two smiling about now?” you laugh lightly. The varied stares they gave you made you quiet down. “No, seriously, are you keeping secrets?”

“Of course not,” Oikawa chimes in. “Iwa-chan has big news though!”

Your heart rate spikes a little bit and you feel sweat beading on the back of your neck. And you're blushing too. Under Iwaizumi's warm, sharp gaze, you feel like melting under his radiance. “Eh? Haji, spit it out!!” Your anxiety falsely passes off as intrigue and excitement.

Flushing a little bit, Iwaizumi scratches his neck and smiles at you, “I wanted you to be the second to know, I have a girlfriend.”

…

You're shell-shocked.

If Oikawa picks up on it, he doesn't say so. “Seeee, [Name]-chan, I know we didn't believe it, but Iwa-chan finally snatched himself a girl!” Iwaizumi responds with a swift punch to the gut.

“I….” you can't find the words. You force yourself to smile like it's the only thing you can do. “Haji, that’s amazing!! Who is it? I didn't even know you had a crush…” Your voice falters but you push your words out as if your life depended on it. How did you manage to sound so genuinely happy when it felt like your entire world was about to crash?

Iwaizumi flushes again and you feel jealousy seep in. You so wish it was you that he blushes for. “Haha, yeah. Oikawa didn't know either for once; I didn't tell anyone, you know? Wasn't really sure yet. But it’s Aika-chan.” The way his face lights up burns a hole in your heart.

He even uses -chan for her. How special. The bitter envy feels like acid rising in your throat, and you feel queasy. Like you could keel over, cry, and puke out your guts.

“Ohhh, Aika-san is cute,” you make yourself say.

(Honestly, you're so good at lying and saying this wrong but right bullshit, you’d think you're a sociopathic robot or something.)

“Mmm… don't get jealous though, [Name]-chan, you're cuter!” Oikawa hums and you laugh loudly, hoping that you'll fake it till you make it. “Tell her how it happened, Iwa-chan. It was hilaaarious.”

The poison in you burns harsher but you nod along.

“Don't tell me what to do, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi bites almost playfully, before meeting your blank gaze with his kind, gently blazing eyes that always made you weak. Right now, you were not weak in the good way. “Aika-chan confessed to me yesterday near the sakura tree after we had class together… and I don't know, I guess it really clued me in that the feelings I had were real.”

(Iwaizumi looks so happy and content that it makes you want to be happy too, but you honestly feel like doing nothing but crying.)

“Aww, that's so sweet~” Your voice gets softer and you hate yourself so much for sounding weak.

But before either boy can reply, the panic and agony sets in. You feel your eyes glass up and your body tense, and your mind is begging you not to break down.

Unfortunately, they both notice.

“[Name]-chan? Are you okay?? You look kinda sick~” Oikawa sounds cheery and playful but his eyes convey an undercurrent of worry.

And bless Iwaizumi’s stupidly handsome oblivion, he blinks at your worriedly and puts a hand on your shoulder to steady you. “Do you need to go to the nurse? School’s still open I think, and it's right around the corner-”

Fuck him and his mind-meltingly handsome everything. Just his voice and his sharp gaze makes you want to cry harder and collapse to him.

“I-I have to go, sorry guys,” You fucking despise how cracked your voice is becoming as your facade slips. “I promised Hanae that I'd go get bubble tea with her. See you Monday.”

Eyes stinging, you turn as quick as you can and ignore their confused voices.

(The tears flow like acid and you feel like dissolving from the inside out.)

Months pass and you deny your horrifyingly strong yet compressed feelings.

You greet Aika and Iwaizumi in the hallways, and you know that you're happy because Iwaizumi is, and that's honestly all you could ask for your long-time crush (turned bitter love). You even talk to Aika freely during shared classes, just to disguise your depressing jealousy.

Every time you see them share a discreet kiss or grip each other's hands, you genuinely wish you were dying. It sure feels like you are.

(Like you're drowning, like your lungs are burning up and you're begging for oxygen, begging to breathe in Iwaizumi's love that's reserved for someone else. It hurts a lot but he's happy.)

(So you have to be happy.)

Hanae spares you sympathetic looks. “Come on, wifey-chan, you're married to meee. Get over him, he doesn't deserve you if he chose Aika the troll over you.”

“That's mean,” you sigh and crumble onto Hanae. “Aika-san’s nice. And pretty. And talented. It's no wonder Haji would choose her.”

“Stopppp! You’re so much more than Troll-chan, okay?!?” Hanae’s pep talk is brash, but you appreciate the charm. “If Iwaizumi-kun doesn’t see that, I’ll punch him.”

You laugh lightly at the fact that Hanae had talked to Iwaizumi enough to be calling him kun, but your voice is still heavy despite the sentiment. “You're so weird. But that's why I love you.”

“Of course you do~”

On another innocent hang-out with Iwaizumi and Oikawa, you’re met with abrupt news.

“Aika and I broke up.” Iwaizumi mutters softly.

“Eeeeh?!” You’re shell-shocked again, but you'd be lying if you said you were crushed like last time. “But-- but you guys were doing so well! You were the cutest couple!”

“She broke up with him over text,” Oikawa chimes in and you gape as Iwaizumi punches him again. “Two days ago.”

“She what-”

“She said she wasn't ready for a relationship,” is all Iwaizumi says.

You feel heartbreak and burning pity boil inside of you. “I-I’m so sorry, Haji… you didn't deserve that. You'll find someone better.”

Me. It's me, I promise I won't break your heart the way she did, because you're all I ever wanted.

He nods and for the first time in a while, he hugs you tight. “Yeah..”

It breaks you because it feels so good, his embrace warming you.

But it breaks you more to hear him whisper, “I can’t get over her though.”

(You just wanted him to be happy but he can’t. You can’t fix it.)

“You will,” you breathe out, trying not to let the tears slip. “You’re gonna be okay.”

(You know you’re not.)

But you don’t say that when you feel Iwaizumi’s shaky breath and him muttering, “Thanks.”

“Oh my god, [Name], did you hear about Hajime-kun?” Hanae’s alarmed voice three days later makes you concerned.

First of all, Hajime-kun-- “W-What? What happened now??” Nonetheless, panic still seeps into you.

“Aika broke up with him!!” Hanae seems so worked up over this and you wonder, how close is she to him? “Can you believe it?? She really threw away one of the best people in school!”

Shouldn’t I be saying that…? “Yeah, I know…” you try not to sound too bitter. “But like, it’s not really her fault she wasn’t ready for a relationship..”

Hanae huffs and crosses her arms, leaning onto you. “Well, I mean you’re right, but she shouldn’t have signed herself up for it if this was gonna happen. I feel so bad for him.” You’re about to layer on your argument, but Hanae straightens up and smirks. “See, your man’s single. Shoot your shot!”

“Right after a break-up?? Hanae, you’re batshit crazy-”

“Uh, well, make him like you, then shoot your shot!”

Your head and heart kind of hurts from all this talk about Iwaizumi, no matter how smitten you are for him, so you just blindly nod and agree.

It works for the rest of the day until you get home and cry into your pillow, wondering what to do.

Hope is re-kindled into you.

Over the past two-ish months, post-breakup, you find that comforting Iwaizumi makes you feel much better than wallowing in your self-pity. It’s a win-win: you’re putting even more of his trust into you, you two are getting even closer, and this could quite possibly end up in a great situation.

You melt at the sight of Iwaizumi, and every day you can see happiness soak back into him. Every time he laughs at one of your stupid jokes or grins at you while you rant and complain, you feel like your heart stops out of complete adoration of how stunning he is in every way you can think of.

He isn't perfect, but you think he's the perfect match for you.

And one day, at a study “date” (you try very hard not to take that term to heart!!) at a café, Iwaizumi peers up from laptop and gives you his signature, gruff yet content smile and says, “You know, I don't think I need Aika anymore.”

(You want to kiss him.)

It’s honestly been a shitty time for you and your friends, you realize.

Hanae broke up with her boyfriend, as you would have figured over the past few weeks she’s been ranting to you about how annoying and clingy and overprotective he is, but you found that she broke up with him over text. Oikawa went through three girlfriends in a month, to which he pouted and whined about but you knew he was secretly relieved that he didn’t have to carry more burden. And there’s the whole heartache Iwaizumi thing, even though things have been getting relatively better.

(You also realize amongst all your friends, you’re the only one who’s stayed very, very very single. You hope that’ll change soon.)

Things are going absolutely amazing with Iwaizumi. Even Oikawa’s been smirking at you and teasing you about your “true love” (to which you frustratedly deny but you honestly know that it’s just the truth when you consider your feelings for him). The two of you have felt confident enough to spend time with each other at your respective homes without feeling awkward or the need to have Oikawa there to provide a third wheel. You couldn’t wish for anything more.

So now you’re at a family-friend’s party, lounging on the couch away from the scene, on your phone. It’s so loud, but you’re content and refreshed on all the snacks you’ve practically been inhaling. Your phone pings in your hand and you glance up at the notification you’ve just received.

Oh, a text~

It’s from Hanae.

poopy hanae >:)): [name] are you busyyy

YOU: no not really

YOU: just at a party

poopy hanae >:)): OH okay so um can i tell you something but

poopy hanae >:)): i dont want you to get mad or sad ...so please let me just finish my texts

YOU: ?? yea go ahead , ill wait for you to finish :)

You feel kind of nervous once she puts it like that, but you let her continue.

poopy hanae >:)): remember how after my break up i promised i wouldn’t fall for anyone else, not for a while yk? i promised that to me and him: i wouldn’t let my heart get broken or whatever. but i found out that i don’t think i’ve ever really fallen for my ex. i think i just dated him because i felt bad and felt like i had to date him because i didn’t wanna reject him… but it happened still. but i think i’m in love now. honestly.

poopy hanae >:)): i’ve never felt this way around any guy before, not my ex, not anyone. everytime i see him my heart goes crazy, and i want to talk to him all the time. he’s just so perfect in every way. he’s so smart, he’s handsome as hell, he’s strong and caring… and i promised both of you i wouldn’t fall for anyone else but i broke that promise to him, you, and me. and i think you’ve figured out who he is now.

poopy hanae >:((: i’m sorry i can’t help it. i didn’t want to tell you because that would make our friendship weird but i hope now we’re at the stage where we will still be best friends regardless of him. i’m truly in love with iwaizumi hajime and i’m gonna confess to him on monday (tmr). i love him so much but i want you to know i love you more so he won’t ever get in the way of us. ily <3

The more you read the message, the more it makes you want to cry. Your hand starts trembling around your milk tea and you feel your face warm up, your eyes glassing over and your vision blurring. Stumbling your way into the bathroom, you lock yourself inside, staring at yourself in the mirror. You watch your delicate, shaking features in the mirror as the first bitter tear rolls down your cheek. More tears follow.

Sobs wrack your body and hot tears glide down your face, constantly, like a river. Whimpers escape you, and your lips are cracked and dry, and you keep thinking, Why would she do this to me?

YOU: ahaha it’s okay!!!

YOU: a boy shouldn’t get between us, ly :) make him happy

YOU: you desrvee him mroe than anbyody else

You cover your mouth with your shaking fingers in hopes that the others can’t hear you outside over the music.

You pretend it’s fine the next day at school.

Hanae doesn’t even mention it, but she hugs you a lot more and keeps whispering, “I love you”. The bitterness has sunken in a little bit and you resist the urge to tell her, It doesn’t change the fact that you broke me, but you figure that it’ll be okay.

You’ll just lose your feelings for Iwaizumi so she doesn’t have “competition”.

(It turns out to be harder than you think.)

When you see Iwaizumi at lunch, his smile never fails to make you flush a little bit and make you feel so warm and comfy. When he sits down next to you (!! ahhh!) since Hanae was in line for lunch, he makes a sigh-grunt noise as he nestles his chin into the crook of his palm. Oikawa, bless his dumb ass, sidles down next to you, making a dramatic sigh.

“Did you know Hanae-chan confessed to Iwa-chan today?”

You try so, so SO hard not to tense. “Yeah. She told me a few days ago that she- she was in love with him.”

(The way your voice cracks at “in love” is pathetic, you think.)

You don’t miss the way Oikawa’s face briefly flashes a frown at you before morphing back into his signature pretty-boy smile. Iwaizumi looks a little embarrassed to be talking about this but he nods. “Yeah, she pulled me aside right before lunch and… yeah. It was so embarrassing…” You’re in fucking awe of how cute he is even when he’s distressed, but you remind yourself (with a pang of bitterness) that you aren’t supposed to think that anymore.

“And I turned her down,” Iwaizumi continues, and your ears almost fucking pop at the noise. He- how, what? Why? “‘Cause I don’t know, I never really felt that way about her. I guess that’s why she’s been talking to me more and more lately. She said she understood if I wasn’t ready to move on ‘cause of Aika and stuff, but.. she said something like she’ll change my mind.” He snorts and murmurs, “I don’t think that’ll happen, honestly.”

Oikawa laughs, a peppery laugh accompanied with a side-eyed glance towards you. “Iwa-chan, you’re such a brute~ You sure that’s the only reason you turned her down?”

Iwaizumi lets out a snort again. “Yeah.. I’m over Aika now, but I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship. Plus, there isn’t anyone that I like like now. Hanae doesn’t stand out.”

The statement makes you crumble on the inside.

You idiot of a best friend. What good are you if you don’t stand up for Hanae?

But it doesn’t matter! He said he has no interest in anyone, including you. Or her. It’s pointless, futile. He never even considered you.

You’re so stupid, so worthless sometimes. You’re the worst. It doesn’t matter if you would go to the end of the world for Hajime. You have to give this up for her. Fight for her because he would never settle for someone like you.

You fight back the sob crawling in your throat, as your self-loathe and intrusive thoughts rain in. You try so hard not to let it get to you, but still-

It’s what Hanae deserves for putting up with you.

“You should give her a chance,” you force a small smile. “I mean, she’s pretty and smart, you know?”

Oikawa gives you a pitying gaze before Iwaizumi shakes his head, his cheek now pressing against his palm. “Nah. I don’t like anyone in that way now, and it’s gonna stay like that for a while, I’d think.”

He doesn’t like anyone in that way.

You shrug and nod, “Fair enough,” but your voice is so much smaller. You love Iwaizumi Hajime so much, and he’s always been your everything. From his habits to his comforting demeanor and his entire profile, he’s always infatuated you and you know that no matter how hard you deny it for anyone, you will never let go of the feelings that shackle you to him like chains.

You love him so much.

But I guess I’ll never win.

#iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi hajime x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #sorry this sucks #this is a mess

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