#I feel like apart from my familial and purely platonic relationships I’m alone | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sunlightwoo · 4 years ago

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Five Day Confessions

pairing: baseball player!eric x g.n reader

genre: college au, best friends to lovers trope with like some slow burn?? in a way??? but also they’re like lowkey pining over each other cause why not with your usual fluff, humor and angst

wc: 4.7k

plot: you think that it’s amusing to see the star baseball player of your school pining over your heart, seeing as though your winter break was coming around the corner. maybe it was the holiday season that was coming, or the unspoken feelings that you might’ve had for your flirtatious best friend that was clueless about your own thoughts to him. let’s hope that maybe these five days that you both confess to each other indirectly finally go unnoticed.

a/n: this lowkey ended up being the longest oneshot that i have written on this blog, and i’m really shocked HOUEHGOEA of course it’d be eric sohn.. bUT ANYWAYSS :)) i hope you enjoy this piece that i’ve been working on these days for @timextoxhajima‘s collab cause the pain i felt while writing this... yeah hehe anyways happy new yearrr

COLLAB MASTERLIST | MY TBZ MASTERLIST

Day One

It was five days before you were finally let out onto the winter break that you had been longing for since Thanksgiving weekend. An entire semester that was filled with endless assignments, stress and exams that definitely would’ve been the end of your existence, had it not been spent with your best friend along the way.

You were surprised that the star baseball player that was too close to your heart for your liking was passing, considering you never saw him come back to your shared apartment until the late hours of eight at night. Whether it was during the spring, or like now in the winter where he was conditioning for months before the season could even start, he was always focused on excelling in both baseball, but also securing a career in entrepreneurship if baseball happened to be a setback.

You argued the latter, that he was far too good to not be let into the major leagues, but he always found a way to downplay it and rather change the subject.

That was how Eric Sohn was, you concluded as you lived everyday being best friends with him.

The afternoon sun was already beaming down on you through the window as you sat at the seat closest to it in your last class of the day. Words that would’ve left your professor’s mouth sounded like complete gibberish as you were struggling to concentrate on whatever lesson he was trying to teach until you locked eyes with the said best friend, his eyes already scheming with mischief in them.

A smile crosses his lips as you watch him mouth something incoherent to you, making you distracted momentarily as you giggled to yourself quietly and shook your head. Turning away from the latter, the bell rings just in time for you to finally leave from your class as you hear the yells that were slowly growing louder come closer to your own ears.

“We’re free for the rest of the week!” He cheers as he tosses both yours and his bags over his shoulders, a habit that he picked up over the past few years even after you argued with him numerous times to not do so because of how bad you felt from the heaviness of your own bag combined with his sports gear.

That never seemed to stop him, however, since it was an everyday thing that he seemed to pick up to this day.

“Sounds like fun. Any plans for today?” You ask him curiously, walking out of the room together with him as the two of you were already heading out of the building to head back to your shared apartment, ready to start feeling the stress-free vacation that you needed for a while and for Christmas to arrive.

There was a beat of silence as you could tell that he was thinking about what to do for today, making you look at him momentarily and take in the tiny details that painted his face carefully. You knew that your best friend was handsome, there was no argument against that.

“Quit staring at me, I know you’re in love with me,” He chuckles slightly and you blink back to reality to see that he was already staring back at you, making heat rush up to your cheeks as you pulled away from his gaze to stare at the clear sky above you.

“There was just something on your face, that’s all stupid.” You retort, hoping that maybe he would’ve bought the excuse and it seems as though that he did as he lets another beat of silence pass by.

What was he thinking about?

“Hey, do you want to get some ramen?” He nudged you gently, making you look up at him with widened eyes as he broke you from your thoughts when you smiled in response, nodding as the two of you began to head towards the convenience store that was just down the street.

“Last one to get there has to pay.” You grin, already breaking out for a sprint as the latter decides that maybe giving you a five second head start wasn’t too bad, hiding the amused smile on his face from the fact that you were too cute when you were excited about the thought of ramen.

Up until he feels the emptiness of his back pocket, making him realize that you had stolen his wallet to buy your own stuff before he could even notice it.

“Oh shit wait- they have my wallet. Y/N, you can't just call that and then take my wallet!”

Luckily for you, he wanted to pay for your meal anyways just to keep the smile on your face aligned with the stars that always seemed to twinkle in your eyes.

Day Two

“Hey, are you busy?”

You turn your head to see Eric standing at your door frame, seeing that he seemed to be in distress as you paused the drama that was on your television for a moment. Patting the empty beside you on the bed, he immediately rushes over to where you sat in which he steals the opportunity to cuddle you in his arms as he wraps them around your waist tightly while laying on top of you.

A breath escapes your lips from his sudden weight and you shifted over so that you were no longer on one end of the bed but rather the middle, so that neither of you would fall off of the mattress as a result of his antics. This particular position was one that you were all too familiar with considering these cuddle sessions would only happen when one of you had problems to spill to the other, and you could only assume that in this situation, it was Eric that had something to say.

However, the only thing you were confused about was the reason as to why he was like this when there wasn’t anything that he has told you about these days, whether it was about relationships, baseball or even himself.

“Everything okay, bubs?” You mumbled quietly, staring at the blonde in question as his nickname that you gave him easily slipped past your lips when he let out a soft hum in response.

It wasn’t unusual for him to come into your room to talk about whatever was on his mind in which he found it comforting that he was able to confide in you for such things. He knew that if he told any of his friends, they might not be able to emphasize his emotions with him, which was why he was grateful that you were both best friends but also comfortable enough with one another where anything that was said would only be kept between the two of you and only you two.

A special thing that you two had.

“I think I’m overthinking things again.” He bluntly whispers and moves his head so that he is now looking out the window as your hands found their way to gently play with the soft strands that were tickling your stomach slightly.

It was silent as you continued to play with his hair as you listened to him talk about whatever was randomly on his mind, in which he talked about how he missed visiting his family since they weren’t around this time of year because they went on vacation assuming Eric was conditioning again this year not knowing he took time off to spend time with them.

It made you think about how you must’ve been the only other person that he could spend the upcoming holidays with, since you knew that your close mutual friends were also heading home as well to spend time with their families. However, your plan was to stay at the apartment alone since you didn’t have anything to look forward to until now.

“”I’ll make sure that you have the best Christmas ever, Eric, I swear,” You softly smiled, holding out your pinky down towards his face and you felt him hook his pinky around yours, sending the familiar sensations of warmth down your spine at your wordless promise, “That’s all that was on your mind?”

You wonder if this was what it must’ve been like to fall in love with someone, seeing as though your heart was still pounding in your chest at how close he was to you. His soft breathing on top of yours was making you feel warmer in your heart, and you could only hope that he didn’t feel how fast your heart was beating underneath his ear.

“I think I like someone too, but I don’t know what it’s like to fall in love with someone.” He says and you look at him in confusion just as he looks back at you in pure curiosity.

You didn’t think that he actually liked someone at the moment, considering he wasn’t really good at keeping secrets from you regardless of how hard that he tries. However, you could feel the slight sting of jealousy in your heart, paining you at the fact that he was indeed too out of your league, and also your best friend.

It was too risky, you knew, to even date your best friend and also the star baseball player of your university as everybody loved Eric. No matter how flirtatious or friendly he was towards everyone, it was all strictly platonic on your end.

“Falling in love with someone can be the most beautiful, but also the most painful feeling in the world, bubs. Have you ever felt like that with someone these days?” You reply and suddenly feel him get up from where he was lying on you, the emptiness from his warmth leaving your own making you frown invisibly, but you knew that there was something going on in his head.

He really did like someone else.

“I think so… Don’t worry about it, sweetheart, I’m not that serious about it, okay?” He chuckles while ruffling your hair slightly as you could feel the loud shatters in your heart resonate in your chest, and you could only smile as you hope that he never catches onto the feelings you buried in your heart.

“Have you ever felt like that though, Y/N? It’s like you’re the one who has been in a long relationship like that, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about one since freshman year?” Eric mumbles, slightly facing you as you let out a quietly chuckle, sitting up against your bed frame to stare between him and the golden sun that is slowly setting outside your window.

It’s a painful feeling because it’s you, You think to yourself as the thoughts of possibly confessing to him would be minimal because you knew that he was only being friendly as your best friend, and nothing more than that.

“Not everyone is worthy of my time and kindness, like you sometimes are buddy.” You smiled, feeling the bitter feeling of guilt crawl up the back of your throat as you swallowed the lump once again, hoping that these feelings for your best friend would possibly leave you alone.

Hopefully.

Day Three

You envied all the couples that were able to show off their relationships that they were in as you were at the mall with your close friends, Kevin and Hyunjae. The three of you were out buying Christmas gifts for your loved ones and friends and you were in distress considering you haven’t bought anything for Eric yet that would count as both a birthday and a Christmas gift.

It would’ve been harder if he had tagged along like he originally planned on doing so, until he got a text from his coach for conditioning this afternoon after school. You were grateful for the fact that you didn’t really have to worry about hiding what his gift was in plain sight, however you decided that maybe you should catch up with some mutual friends rather than going to the mall alone, hence the reason for Kevin and Hyunjae tagging along with you.

The three of you walked around the mall and goofed around, as if you didn’t have a care in the world since they seemed to have noticed your sour mood from looking at the couples in the mall. However, it wasn’t until you had pointed out that you needed to buy a gift for Eric that they finally pulled themselves together to help you come up with something to give to your best friend.

Eric was simple.

He wasn't exactly all that big on expressing what he wanted as he was happy with whatever was given to him, which was why it was almost a challenge for you every year to be attentive of his words and things that he’s had eyes on for a while. Because of this, you made it your goal every Christmas that was spent together to be sure that it was a gift that he would’ve mentioned unintentionally but would’ve hinted that he wanted it.

You suddenly end up at a shelter that was right beside the mall and look at the little animals that were looking for new homes to belong to, remembering all the times that you and Eric had visited a dog cafe this year. For all the times that he mentioned about wanting a dog to keep in your apartment to keep one another company when the other wasn’t there, you had the idea to adopt a golden retriever that had eyes that reminded you of his bright ones.

After signing the adoption papers and looking over papers for immunizations, you agreed to come back tomorrow to pick up your new furry friend as you decided to finally go for a quick coffee break at a nearby cafe. The three of you sat by the window in peace, feeling as though today had already gone by so quick when the events of yesterday in your bedroom started to cloud your thoughts.

It wasn’t likely for him to hide something from you when it came to relationships, and you wondered why he didn’t come to you sooner about it. You also then felt selfish as you didn’t like the idea of him liking someone else because of your own mixed emotions towards him and his flirtatious actions.

There was never any established words between the two of you whenever you exchanged cheesy lines or words of endearment that wouldn’t be seen as normal between best friends, but you wanted to believe that you two were more than that because you shared an apartment together. However, you began to ponder on the idea longer than you had wanted to, because now you were wondering who he might’ve been talking about the other day in your bedroom as you were pitying yourself over the unrequited feelings that you held for your best friend.

“Hey, do you know if Eric has told you guys who he likes?” You ask the two boys that were now looking at you in confusion, giving each other looks before turning to you with their drinks back onto the table.

“I thought that you guys were dating? Are you guys not?” Hyunjae mumbles and his words sent heat up to your cheeks as you were the one that was now flustered at the very thought of your friends assuming that you both had been going out.

Did that go for the rest of them?

Shaking your head slowly in response, you watch as their eyes widen into saucers and it seemed as though lightbulbs had been going off in their heads once you clarified the situation between both you and Eric, making the atmosphere quieter than it already was. Luckily it didn’t last long considering Kevin was the one that broke the silence that was filling up and invading your thoughts of why nobody asked about it.

“It makes sense now, for all the times that he talks about you and Hayoung from calculus.” Kevin says answering your thoughts and you feel your heart sink into your chest at his words, realizing that it was true that he liked someone else.

Maybe it was too selfish of you to bribe for his love with a dog, you think to yourself as a frown was now drawn at the corner of your lips at the thought of the dreadful rejection that you would inevitably face. You wondered how badly you’d be heartbroken after his rejection for your feelings, in which you thought that maybe this was a bad timing to tell him and not go home for the holidays.

It’d be better to ignore him than to face him at all.

“So he likes Hayoung?” You speak up quietly, looking at them while trying to not let your emotions falter the atmosphere, however you could tell that from the looks that they were giving you, one that you knew too well as empathy and pity, that you were in too deep into your own heart.

“I wouldn’t blame him anyways. Good for him.” You whisper and take a sip of the drink that was now bitter on your taste buds, trying to bite back the tears that were threatening to spill from your own eyes at your own selfishness.

“Y/N-”

“It’s fine, guys. I’ll be okay.” You reply and give them a weak smile that doesn’t meet your eyes, because you know that eventually you should tell him the thoughts that cloud your mind more than it should’ve.

You were in love with your best friend, and you hated yourself for never telling him in the first place.

Day Four

“Thank you, I hope that you have a good rest of your afternoon!” You grinned and waved to the shelter owner before taking your new golden retriever friend into your arms to bring into your car.

It was the afternoon before Eric’s birthday that you were finally bringing your gift for him back to your apartment as you were giggling at the excited pup that was trying to give you kisses on your cheek. You let her down onto snow and watched as she took some time exploring the cold snow that was beneath her paws before happily skipping back to where you stood as you crouched down to scratch behind her ears.

“Today is going to be fun huh, Byeol?” You whisper, looking at the way that her golden fur resonated the bright stars that you were so used to seeing at night whenever you couldn’t sleep.

Your plan for today was ideally to surprise him with Byeol, hoping that maybe he would love her as much as you already did in the short span she got familiarized with you. The only change in your plan was that you had forgotten he was conditioning today at the batting place, making you want to give Byeol to him earlier than you had planned.

Maybe this time you’d be able to find the guts to tell him with Byeol there with you.

Already driving to where you knew that he would be conditioning near your campus, you hummed to yourself while pretending to make a conversation with Byeol, hoping that the golden retriever’s presence could ease your nerves at the moment. There were a million scenarios that were already playing out in your head as you were scared for what was yet to come when you would by then arrive. However, all you were scared of was his reaction for when you would tell him, since he was your best friend overall before anything else.

You make it to the nearby gymnasium with Byeol in your arms, shushing her quietly as you wanted for her to be a surprise for when you had found Eric by the batting cages, but for some reason you felt a bit breathless.

He was easily recognizable as you could tell who your best friend was immediately by his amazing skills considering he was the ace, but there was something that felt off. You were most definitely feeling the familiar butterflies that fluttered in your stomach, but there was someone that approached him first when he went on a short breather before you could even make yourself visible.

“Youngjae! You did really great!” A girl squeals and based on her tone and appearance from where you stood, you knew that it was Hayoung.

Oh.

“What are you doing here, Hayoung? I didn’t expect for you to be here, since I thought you did student council?” He had asked her with his hands on his hips when she gave him a small shrug before moving closer to him so that they were now only inches apart.

You felt like someone had stuck something into your heart and twisted it tight enough for the dulling ache to appear in it. Of course Hayoung would be here, you think to yourself, as you think that he must’ve invited her to watch him practice and condition to win her over that way, making you feel even more hurt from the thoughts that were now reentering your mind.

“I have heard from the grapevine that you had liked me, and I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go on a date since I liked you too?” You hear Hayoung ask him slowly and watch as she walks up to him with a smile on her face as she looks at him with a soft smile on her face, making your heart strings pull at the sight of it in agony.

Deciding to head back to your apartment, you left the scene as Byeol continues to walk with you back home in the chilly air. You think to yourself in that moment that you were right about your thoughts, about how you never would have stood a chance considering he had only seen you as a best friend and nothing more.

And it hurt knowing that there was nothing you could do to possibly change his mind.

Eric, on the other hand, was looking at Hayoung in confusion as she was still looking at him with a smile, when he had suddenly let out a quiet no. Her face scrunched up at the response as she was confused as to why he would say it, but there was something in him that knew it didn’t feel right, even if he had told his friends that he liked Hayoung.

The only reason why he had told them that he liked her in the first place was to lie about his feelings towards you, knowing that they wouldn’t be reciprocated with the miscommunication you both had about unrequited love.

“Hayoung, I don’t like you in the way that you think I do,” He says slowly and watches as her face then contorts to one of sadness until she gives him a weak smile as he thinks that maybe she knew why.

“You’re in love with Y/N, aren’t you?” She whispers in a quiet tone, making Eric feel guilty about the way that he was rejecting her when he was admitting in that moment that he actually did fall in love with you more than he should’ve been.

It was as though a flip as switched as he suddenly had the urge to go find you and leave the indoor batting range, wanting to talk to you instead before it was too late to even say it.

“Yes, yes I do love Y/N.”

Day Five

Eric is sprinting his way past the cold December night back to your apartment as he was tightly clutching onto his baseball gear from conditioning. He knows that although it was less than forty degrees outside while it was beginning to sprinkle light specks of snow, he shouldn’t be running this late in this weather.

However, the events of earlier had finally clicked as he was still running to your shared place with his heart beating loudly in his chest.

The apple watch that he adorned on his wrist had shown that it was already five minutes before midnight, making him think that you could possibly still be awake doing something if you were watching a drama like you usually would on a Friday night. He began to wish that maybe it wasn’t too late for him to tell you everything that was going on in his mind while his thoughts were running at half a million miles per hour.

It doesn’t take him much longer to finally arrive at your apartment complex as he had darted up the stairs to rush and find you as quickly as he can. Although he might’ve been slightly shivering, he couldn’t help but continue to think about what you could say when he tells you that he had loved you.

Would you hate him for it, or would you actually reciprocate those same emotions?

When he unlocks the door to a dark apartment, he notices the dimly lit kitchen where there was a small cake waiting for him, a candle that was unlit as a note was visibly seen beside all of it. He checks the clock in your living room to realize that it was a little past midnight, the date underneath it illuminating that it was now the twenty second of December.

“Happy birthday, Sohn.”

He turns around almost immediately, nearly giving himself a whiplash because of it, to face you who was holding Byeol in your arms. There was a long beat of silence that passed by between you both, him being in shock that you had a new puppy in your arms and you noticing how he looked tired even in the darkness as the two of you continued to look at one another. It wasn’t until you noticed that he was slightly shivering where he had stood that made you snap out of it and blink back to reality.

“Eric, did you actually just run when it started snowing? You’re going to get sick, you idiot.” You say, almost bursting into shouts and put Byeol back onto the floor to grab him some warm blankets when you suddenly feel him grab your wrist gently.

Without another word, he goes in for a soft kiss on your lips and you hesitate for a moment as you realize what was going on. It didn’t take long for you to pull him back in for another kiss when you felt him slightly pull away, wanting to let him know with the kiss that your thoughts were exactly in line with his.

Even if these past five days of indirectly confessing to him were painful.

When you both finally pull away to collect your thoughts and breaths, he holds you close as his forehead rests on yours as you look up at him in curiosity, wondering where the sudden boldness of his actions had blossomed from. However, it was the sounds of Byeol barking that made you look down and giggle at the small golden retriever before picking her up into your arms again.

“I don’t think I’ll get sick, if I have you with me,” He whispers quietly, a small smile painting his lips as he looks into your eyes before looking down at Byeol, “Is this little puppy ours to keep?”

“She’s technically your birthday and Christmas gift, so yes,” You grinned as he carefully takes her away from your arms to hold into his, cooing softly at the beautiful fur coat when you realized what had just happened in the past few minutes, “Hey, why did you kiss me? What if I get sick too?”

“Then I guess we’ll both spend our Christmas sick, but with cuddles, kisses and our new baby as a couple. How does that sound sweetheart?” He muses, making heat rush up to your cheeks as his lips were now somewhat hovering right over yours when you quickly pecked his lips cheekily before grinning to yourself while crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“I suppose it wouldn’t be a bad idea, since my best friend will finally be my boyfriend this year.”

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kim-ruzek · 3 years ago

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she drew in her first breath out of what love meant

Summary: But when she stood, Kim felt a flood of water and her eyes widened, as she quickly realised what had happened. That the pain wasn’t just back pain, that the Braxton Hicks was actually contractions. Having get so caught up in the possibility that her baby will be a bit late, Kim just accepted that this was fake labour signs.

Kim and Adam's daughter makes a slightly unexpected appearance. Set in an au of s7, where Kim never miscarried rice grain.

Warnings: Childbirth.

Word Count: 1.4k

Read on AO3

Notes: Yesterday, I became an aunt again to the most beautiful niece in the world (seriously, everyone. She is adorable. No, I am not biased, I am just being objective and stating the truth). And so, I'm fully in my baby feels, and what better way to celebrate her appearance with a burzek fix-it fic.

So this is her welcome to the world fic. Her brothers got artwork, but she's getting a more mentally stable aunt so I think she wins. And in a way, I'm happy it isn't the crack fic I'm going to write 🌸🌸🌸

Enjoy!

Everyone said that it’s not often you get pregnant on birth control.

Everyone said it’s not often exes can be friends.

Everyone said it’s not often you can be comfortable co parenting and sharing a home with said ex.

Kim has been greeted with surprise and almost pandering tut tuts when she explained about her and Adam all through this pregnancy. She had almost came to expect it. Which is why, when the doctor said that it probably won’t do anything, and that only a few women actually ever have their water break naturally, and that women tend to have their first baby late, Kim really should’ve expected that she’d be one of the exceptions.

They had gone to the doctor early that morning. Kim is edging closer and closer to her due date, Alice being more and more active inside her. The doctor wasn’t too concerned with thinking that she’ll go into labour soon, repeating that first babies tend to take their time. Kim was fine with this. She’s uncomfortable, yes, big and feeling very much like she’s going to explode. But as the due date drew closer, she was becoming more and more emotional at the thought that her daughter wouldn’t be inside her, that she couldn’t protect her like that anymore.

On the way home, they stopped to grab—extra—breakfast, Kim being hungry again and Adam can always eat. Alice was making herself known, kicking and turning, Adam resting his hand on her belly whenever they were stopped in traffic, a smile on his face.

Kim was beginning to think that maybe people were right about one thing, that maybe they won’t be able to co parent. Not platonically, anyway. His smile twisted something in her and all she wanted to do was stroke her fingers across his jaw.

She settled for just entwining her hand with his.

The pregnancy, seeing their daughter grow inside her, preparing for her arrival, it has brought them closer. Especially when the hormones hit. There has been moments when the air between them is filled with that tension, the love between them palatable. But they’re not crossing that line.

In a very unlike them sort of way, they had the conversation about it. Both agreeing that they can see them doing this, having a relationship, being a couple raising their baby. But communication and keeping together has never been there strong point, Alice being why they’ve only just started to be successful in that way. And mixing up a baby in their problems, it’s not something they want to do. They were both messed up by their parents and the one thing they want is for Ally to be okay.

So they made an agreement to wait, to reassess when Alice is here, when they’ve got past those first months where even the strongest couples can fall apart in.

It doesn’t stop them absent-mindedly seeking each other out most of the time, always looping their hands around each other and cuddling on the couch and playing with each other’s hair. It doesn’t stop them, when Kim’s hormones turn to a hundred, from being intimate. And before Kim got so big, before sleeping is so uncomfortable for her she can barely stand having the cover on her, let alone another warm body lying beside her, it didn’t stop them from sleeping in the same bed.

They’re just friends, having a child, and are very much in love with each other.

It was after they grabbed the extra breakfast when Kim’s back starting to ache. At this point, she’s used to having aches, so she just tried to adjust herself in a more comfortable position.

Adam had noticed and when they got home he told her just to be comfy on the sofa, so that’s what she did.

The back pain was persistent, and Kim started getting her Braxton Hicks again. The first time she got them, Adam freaked out and called Sylvie—the blonde very patiently explaining it to him again. Now, Kim didn’t think to tell him, them being used to this, instead just ran her hand over her belly.

They had a few visitors stop by, to say hello to Kim now she can no longer go up the stairs to Intelligence. Jay and Hailey were first, then Trudy. They asked Trudy to be their daughter’s grandmother and she had already taken the role to heart. Mouch, too, being their baby’s honorary grandfather. He didn’t come to visit with Trudy, being on shift. Then, finally, Kevin came, Jordan accompanying him.

The Atwaters stayed longer than anyone else, but then they also had left—it once again just being Kim and Adam. And then it was just Kim, Adam getting the message that something they ordered for the baby was in the shop.

The pain in her back had tripled in intensity, and Kim found herself having to get up, needing to walk a little to see if that would help. She thought she’d walk to the bathroom, having to need to pee like she always does now.

But when she stood, Kim felt a flood of water and her eyes widened, as she quickly realised what had happened. That the pain wasn’t just back pain, that the Braxton Hicks was actually contractions. Having get so caught up in the possibility that her baby will be a bit late, Kim just accepted that this was fake labour signs.

Adam left, saying he’ll be back within the hour. Kim had been prepped that labour is long, and even though they had been told to hear to the hospital if her water broke, she waited for Adam to be back. She could’ve called him, but she didn’t want him to rush and get into an accident.

It’s only an hour, Kim had thought.

And forty minutes later, Kim kneeling on her bathroom floor, in intense pain, she regretted that thought. Because of course this would happen. That on top of everything, apparently Alice wanted to make a quicker appearance.

“Hey, darlin’! I’m back,” Adam calls to her and she could’ve cried in relief that he’s finally here; Kim had left her phone in the living room when the contractions hit, hard.

“Adam!” Kim calls back to him, not caring how urgent and distressed her voice sounded. Adam was instantly in the bathroom.

“Kim? Kim, are you okay?” He says as he gets there.

“I’m in labour,” She tells him, although as she looks at his face, she can tell he’s already gathered that. She must be a mess, on the floor, hot and sweaty, crying. But he doesn’t look like he’s even bothered, the shock fading fast and he’s leaping into action.

Adam kneels beside her, softly stroking back her hair, laying a kiss on her forehead. “It’s okay, darlin’. I’m here now.”

After her comforts her, indicating for her to take his hand as another contraction comes, Adam is fishing his phone out of his pocket, calling for an ambulance. Kim’s too far in to even bother wondering if he can drive her, that it’s better for Alice to come in their bathroom with towels all around them rather than in his car.

Although, both would prefer if she didn’t come before the ambulance.

It’s two minutes later Adam’s phone lights up with a text. We just got the call to your address!! Is Kim alright?

It reassured Kim—and Adam, really—that Sylvie is the paramedic who’s coming, them needing that familiar face at this scary, new time in their lives.

Kim’s labour was painful, intense, but short. Alice appears before the ambulance does, Adam and Kim staring in wonder and amazement at their new born daughter.

Adam made a joke that he’s glad he bothered Sylvie with so many questions, as he expertly wrapped up Ally, hugging Kim as she hugged their daughter. She’s still connected, and Kim still needs to deliver the placenta, and luckily it’s only two minutes later when Sylvie is here, and they greet the paramedic with a smile.

“Your goddaughter was a little impatient,” Adam says to her and Kim smiles at him, nosing into him slightly as she does it, love in her heart.

“Just like her father.” As if to prove that point, Adam leans down and gently kisses her, not caring what they agreed or that Sylvie is there. All that matters is them, is Alice, is the love they share; the love Alice is born into.

It isn't the perfect birth story. But nothing about their story was, imperfect relationship, imperfect conception, imperfect family. And that makes it all that more beautiful, that despite the imperfections, it is perfection without a doubt.

That Alice, and the love that surrounds her, love pure, whole and unselfish, is what defines that, redefines what it means to love, to live, their daughter the perfect amongst the imperfections.

#burzek #adam ruzek #kim burgess #kim burgess x adam ruzek #chicago pd #burzek fic #chicago pd fanfiction #ree writes #ree's.writing

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heartofsnark · 3 years ago

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I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship (Misty/Fem!V/Jackie) Smut

Notes: Sooooo, this isn't really canon to my V's like story, as far as like her actual series goes (which you should look at if you want plot with your porn ayyy) but more of a fun what if, that I was possessed to write at 8am and am now publishing at 2:40 am cause I've lost control of my life and wanna see these three fuck.

Warnings: Vaginal sex, cunnilingus, creampies, unprotected sex (fucking wrap it before you tap it, fucking hell Jackie) blowjobs, oral sex, licking cum out of a vagina, just porn, so much porn.

Summary: V has a problem, many problems, but we're focusing on the one for today. Her, Jackie, and Misty are friends; really good friends. Completely platonic and chill friends. They're her best friends in fact, the closest friends she's ever had. So, why does she want to fuck them so bad?

*Also, the V in this is my own, she is a cis woman and also deaf.

V has a problem, multiple problems if she’s being honest, but one in particular has been overwhelming her as of late. She doesn’t do romantic love, she’s told herself time and time again. A misguided crush as a child and a ‘what could have been’ when she was a slightly older child. Times when she thought she was in love or could have ended up there, but her hopes were dashed with cruel words or chance. And every other encounter since has been either platonic or just sex. You can be V’s friend or you can fuck her; no room for romance or muddy waters in the merc’s heart.

At least that’s what she says.

At least that’s what she thought.

Then she met Jackie and Misty. The Heywood boy who took her in. His sweetheart of a girlfriend. Her feelings are platonic, she tells herself. Friends, practically family, a platonic sort of love she’s so rarely found. And that’s more than enough, her feelings and desires don’t go beyond that, she tells herself.

She watches Jackie workout at times, meant to spot him. His muscle corded arms strained as he lifts weights, veins prominent and sweat tracing patterns down his skin. Freckled face flushed with exertion and V’s mouth dry at the thought of tasting the salt of his skin.

But, they’re friends.

V will catch herself staring at Misty from time to time when she visits the older woman’s Esoterica shop, getting tarot card readings and helping sort any new inventory that’s come in. Never missing the way Misty’s skirt rides up her thighs, showing a peek of soft thighs wrapped in fishnet stockings.

But they’re friends.

It's purely platonic when Jackie ruffles her hair, a big warm hand the size of her head, a grin wider than a canyon and sun glinting off his gold cyberware. The butterflies in her stomach and the flush on her face mean nothing more, they’re friends.

And it's strictly platonic when she and Misty bleach their hair together, legs practically entangled when they wait on the couch together. The way V’s breath catches at the press of skin and the sound of Misty laughing is just… They’re friends, really, just friends.

They’re just friends, her mind screams when she’s sharing a bed with Jackie, pressed close to his warm body and inhaling the smell of his cologne. His large arms wrapped around her and thoughts flickering to if he’d let his hands move lover.

Just friends, she tries to beat into her own head, when she’s reminded of Misty’s hands gently holding her bruised chin after a bad gig. Close enough V could nearly kiss her black painted lips, what would it feel like having dark lipstick smeared across her neck?

They’re just friends, but sometimes she wishes they weren’t; she tells herself in shame after a night spent thinking of them in Jackie’s bed, him out on a date with Misty. V’s hand wet with her own slick after hours imagining she was pressed between them, the smell of her sweat sticking to his sheets.

Moving out will help, she decides. A little more space, a few more boundaries will keep those lines from blurring so easily. Her friends, just friends, are there to help her move in and set up her new megabuilding apartment.

Once everything is settled in, V orders them all takeout for dinner, the least she can do. The trio sits on the floor around her table, the holoprojector showing advertisements above their head. The curved built-in sofa is behind them, but its too far from the table to comfortably eat, plus it doesn’t afford the comfort of being closer to each other. Misty and Jackie sitting, nearly on top of each other across the table from V. Trying not to stare at the way his fingers toy with Misty’s sweater.

“Can’t believe you’re actually moving out, chica,” Jackie comments after swallowing down a mouthful of dumplings. She swears she hears a hint of melancholy in his voice, but maybe it’s wishful thinking.

“Can’t mooch off of you and Mama Welles forever,” she signs and talks, comfortable talking when it's just them. The words flow easier, her throat less raw and blocked off.

“For the billionth time, you ain’t no fuckin’ mooch, V.”

“So you say.” V rolls her eyes and takes a drink of Nicola.

“Personally, I’m happy about it,” Misty states and that soda suddenly feels like cement in V’s throat. One of her worst fears potentially realized, that Misty or Jackie see her as an interloper, an intrusion on their relationship. That Misty is sick of some random woman sleeping in her boyfriend’s bed.

“Why’s that?” Jackie asks, half of an eggroll in his mouth.

“‘Cause now I don’t have to sneak around Mama Welles to see V, too.”

“Oh,” V swallows hard, feeling the air return to her lungs, “that’s right, I’ll never understand that whole thing. ”

Misty is one of the sweetest people in the world and V’s always considered Jackie’s mom just as nice, but for some reason the two can’t seem to see eye to eye. Mama Welles hung up on Jackie getting back with one of his ex’s.

“She’ll come around eventually, Ma just takes a while to warm up to people.”

“Me, not people, just me. Pretty sure, she’d jump for joy if you and V were dating,”

V chokes on her noodles, heat flushing up to her hairline at the thought. Not helping, Misty, not helping. Misty laughs at her, V trying to recompose herself.

“Why would you say that?”

“Uh, ‘cause it’s true!~ She adores you, V. Not that I can blame her.”

“Pfft,” V rolls her eyes, scoffing, “trust me, she’d turn on me in a heartbeat if I tried to steal away her precious baby boy.”

V teases Jackie, reaching across the table to squeeze at his cheek, he smacks away her hand, grinning and a flush of red across his cheeks.

“Fuck off!”

“True, she is so protective of her precious, Jaquito~” Misty joins in, giggling and scratching her nails along his chin.

“I didn’t sign up to be harassed today,” he pretends to complain.

“No sign up necessary, my harassment comes free and unsolicited~,” V reaches for an eggroll and accidentally knocks an open can of cola into Jackie’s lap, “shit!”

“Ah, fuck,” Jackie flinches a bit as cold soda hits his crotch.

“Sorry, sorry,” V blurts out, grabbing up napkins and starting to reach over the table to dry him.

“I, uh, got it! It’s fine!” Jackie quickly stops her and she realizes she was a fraction of an inch away from trying to rub his dick dry.

“Uh, right, sorry, I, sorry.” V falls back on her but, trying to pretend she isn’t embarrassed by the instinct.

“Its okay, V,” Jackie insists, trying to dry his pants, “what’s a wet sticky dick between friends?”

“Jackie!” V yells at his innuendo, the audacity of this man, meanwhile Misty is giggling behind her hand.

“It shouldn’t stain,” Misty says when she stops giggling, rubbing Jackie’s shoulder, “I think you left some clothes at my place, you can change there, so you don’t have to wear wet pants all the way back to Heywood.”

And that’s right, they’ll be leaving at some point. She’ll be having her first night alone in her apartment, just her… She taps her fingers against the floor, staring at a seam on her couch. She’s an adult, she reminds herself, she can handle being alone.

“Yeah, we’ll go ahead and get out of your hair, V.”

“Yeah, yeah, appreciate the help,” she hopes her signing and voice don’t give away her discomfort. Then there’s a gentle hand over her own, neatly painted black fingernails on her skin, warm and smooth skin compared to V’s more calloused flesh. Misty having shifted closer to the side of the table, so she could reach V.

“Unless, you don’t want us to go?”

“Uhh,” what kind of adult can’t be alone in her own apartment, V admonishes herself, “I-”

“You still have trouble sleeping alone, right?” Jackie asks, raising an eyebrow, eyes concerned.

“I mean… I don’t expect anyone to coddle me, I-”

“It's not coddling, V, we care about you. Adjusting is hard and if us sleeping here tonight helps, we’re happy to do it.”

“You know we’d do anything for you, chica.”

“Uh, okay then, I can sleep on the couch and you two can have the bed-”

“Pffft,” Jackie scoffs, “don’t be stupid, we’ve been sharing a bed half that size for the past three months, V. The last thing I expect is for you to sleep on the couch.”

“Okay, if you’re both cool with it.”

And that’s how she ends up in her new bed with her two friends. Misty wearing a set of V’s sleep clothes, the shorts and shirt riding up slightly on the older woman just a few inches taller than the merc. Jackie stripped down to just his boxer briefs and V is accustomed to that she reminds herself, her partner in crime, sleeping in his underwear next to her more times than she can count. But, lately everything feels...muddier.

V faces the wall, on her side, Misty and Jackie cuddling behind her. They nearly pulled her between them, but she stopped them, insisting she sleep fine so long as there’s just someone near her. And that’s true, the warmth and knowledge that she’s not alone helps plenty, but more so she’s just not sure she would have survived the night pressed between them. Even like this… she struggles to sleep, feeling their bodies radiating warmth behind her. She stares at the wall and tries to name stars, her go to trick for sleeping.

Then there’s shifting movement behind her, the feeling of the bed shifting a bit, and Misty’s foot slightly nudging V’s ankle. The little merc twists around onto her other side to see what’s going on, if Misty or Jackie need something and her breath catches in her throat.

Misty is pressed tight to Jackie’s chest, the couple spooning with her back to his front. His face is pressed into her neck, V can’t hear his face nor read his lip, but she can see them moving against Misty’s skin. Jackie’s large hands are toying with Misty’s body, one hand down between her thighs and the other pushing her shirt up to grope her breast. Misty’s eyes are shut, head arched back just slightly, mouth slightly open as her boyfriend teases her.

V can’t help but stare, face a sharp shade of crimson, at the sight of the shirt being pushed up to reveal the underside of Misty’s breast, the muscles in Jackie’s forearm tightening as he fingers her. Its a lot to take in, the sight, the feelings; the knowledge that they’d do this just inches from V. Desire and heat build in her center, her cunt getting wet at watching her friends fool around, finding herself imagining what it’d be like to have Jackie’s thick calloused fingers pushing inside of her or how soft Misty’s breast would feel in her hand. Then Jackie pushes the shirt all the way up above Misty’s chest, plump breasts and stiffening nipples on full display.

V shouldn’t be seeing this; shame and humiliation mix with her arousal.

Friends. They’re friends, damn it!

The speed at which V turns away from the sight, sends her half into the wall; knee and hands hitting it. She can feel Misty and Jackie shooting up behind her, mattress shifting, V tries to burrow down into her pillow hoping the two will somehow be convinced she just moved in her sleep. But the hand rubbing over her shoulder tells her that’s not the case. She forces herself to sit up and face her friends, just friends…

Misty and Jackie are sitting up more in the bed, Misty’s clothes back in place. Their faces are both flushed, Jackie isn’t making eye contact with V. Misty hands V her hearing aid case, a gentle unspoken request for her to put them in so it’s easier to talk. And V doesn’t want to talk about it, doesn’t want to deal with this, doesn’t want to ruin this. But she can’t deny the soft look in Misty’s emerald green eyes, sliding her hearing aids in.

“Sorry, chica…” Jackie awkwardly apologizes the second V can hear.

“Okay…night... ” Is all V can manage, hoping this will be the end of it, hoping she doesn’t have to confront everything swelling up inside of her. V reaches up to take out her hearing aids, intent on just quickly pulling them out and rolling back over, to pretend this never happened.

Misty’s hand reaches her face first, cupping V’s chin and forcing the merc to make eye contact. Though her eyes do drift back and forth between Misty’s lips and eyes. The closeness makes it all the more tempting to just kiss her…

But Misty beats her to it, nothing but tender press of their lips together. And V never in a million years believed of the three that Misty would be the one to break first. Yet here they are, a soft kiss that lasts all of a moment before Misty starts to pull away, a quick peck meant to test the waters, but V chases after it, capturing the older woman’s lips again. Her kiss is a far cry from Misty’s, hungrier, deeper and anything but chaste as she pushes her tongue into the blonde’s mouth.

“Shit,” Jackie curses, voice low and hungry as he watches his girlfriend and best friend makeout. V smiles into the kiss, finally breaking away.

“We’re a pair of Catholic school girl uniforms away from acting out Jackie’s favorite BD, aren’t we?” V can’t help but tease remembering a few… select pieces from her friends collection.

“Hey!”

V falls back against the bed laughing, that sort of tension and fear melting away. Misty and Jackie laugh too; the sound music to V’s ears, the merc suddenly thankful she kept the hearing aids in. They kissed and the world didn’t end. There’s no irreparable damage and if they wanted maybe they could all leave it there, a weird exchange that ended in laughter. Nothing has to change. One kiss between friends, no big deal.

Then Misty is climbing over her, moving to be on the other side of V, pressing against that side as Jackie moves in closer; placing her between them.

“Hello, can I he-” she starts to tease, then Jackie’s lips are on hers. His large warm hand on her chin, keeping her in place as he pushes his tongue into her mouth. She works to meet his movement, to give as good as she gets, kissing him back with the same passing. A moan leaving the back of her throat and dying on Jackie’s tongue when he shifts the angle to kiss her deeper. She grabs his bicep, feeling his muscles to anchor herself.

And, okay, it’s two kisses now. What’s two kisses between friends?

Jackie pulls away, pressing his forehead against hers, rubbing his thumb over her chin.

“Been wanting to do that for a while, mija,” he admits tenderly.

And that’s it, it's all too far gone and she’s done caring.

“Need you, both of you,” V finally says it, puts the words out into the world and prepares herself for what comes next.

Then Jackie pulls her shirt off over her head, leaving V’s breasts exposed, her nipple piercings glinting in the lowlight of the room. Delicate fingers push past the waistband of V’s shorts, Misty finding and stroking V’s clit as Jackie dips his head to suck at the merc’s breast. She whimpers at the treatment, overwhelmed and squirming as the couple plays with her body. Slick coats Misty’s fingers and V’s thighs, the merc’s cunt clenching with every rub of her clit. Jackie’s tongue teases and licks at her piercing, he sucks at her breast, feeling her nipple stiffen on his tongue. Misty’s fingers slip lower, pushing inside of V. Its all too much, V’s pleasure building higher and higher inside of her. Jackie gives a little nip, not a true bite just the slight pressure of his teeth on her breast just as Misty adds a third finger. And it snaps, V crying out as she cums on Misty’s hand,

Jackie pulls off of V’s breast and Misty pulls slick coated fingers out of her cunt, the merc panting.

“Didn’t realize you were that sensitive, V,” Jackie teases, breath hot on her ear.

“Shut up.”

“It’s cute,” Misty assures her, kissing softly across V’s cheek and neck.

“So, cute,” Jackie says, but his voice with that edge of condescension before he bites her neck. She whines but responds by rubbing a hand over his cock, grinning when he jumps.

“Yeah, let's see how well you handle it,” she taunts, pushing him back flat against the bed as she straddles him.

His hard cock rubs against her, her shorts and his boxers the only thing between them. She kisses across his chest. Tracing her tongue along his tattoos and freckles, sliding her hand between them to palm his dick, feeling the warmth of it through the fabric. She trails her kisses down, watching his head dip back against the pillow, cursing under his breath as she makes her way lower and lower down his torso and stomach. She pulls her mouth away when it hits fabric, as much as she’d love to settle between his legs and tease him through his boxers, She’s not about to forget about Misty.

V pulls away to press closer to Jackie’s side, looking up to see Misty, staring at them, enraptured. The merc stretches over Jackie’s lap to catch the back of Misty’s head, tangling her fingers in the short layers of hair, bringing the older woman in for another kiss. She uses this to gently pull and encourage Misty over closer, until they’re both pressed tight against one side of Jackie’s legs, making out just above his erection. They break apart, with V giving a soft bite to Misty’s lower lip before hooking her fingers into the bottom of Misty’s shirt pulling it off over her head. She can’t help but get another eyeful of Misty’s chest, before turning her attention back to Jackie, intent on showing why having two people play with you tends to make a person more sensitive.

V slips her fingers into the top of Jackie’s boxer briefs, starting to pull them down, Misty helping her as Jackie raises his hips for them. The girls quickly getting the boxers off; V swallows hard at the sight of his dick. He’s big, something she always figured considering he’s nearly a giant towering over both Misty and V. Its flushed red at the head, thick with prominent veins, and leaking precum on his lower stomach. Misty and V get their tongues on him, making Jackie curse aloud. V lapping the head of his cock to taste his precum, teasing her tongue piercing along the flushed sensitive skin. Misty, tracing the underside, licking along the veins and shaft of his cock.

V pulls away for a moment as Misty licks up Jackie’s cock. The merc watches as Misty takes the length of Jackie’s dick into mouth, inch after inch pushing past her kiss-swollen lips. V takes to licking the places where Misty’s mouth can reach, the part of his cock she can’t force down her throat without risk of gagging, V’s tongue chases after Misty’s mouth as she pulls up, tasting Misty’s spit on his cock, until she’s pulling off his dick with a pop. Before V can follow suit, taking her turn to feel his dick in her throat, he stops them. Large thick fingers tangling in bleached hair.

“Stop, fuck, fuck, gonna-fuck,” he groans out, nearly choking on his words.

“Aww, feeling sensitive?” V teases, biting at his thigh.

“Not helping, V.”

“I don’t think she was trying to help, Jackie,” Misty jokes, sharing a sly smile with V as they watch Jackie try to keep from blowing his load right there. Jackie reaches down and squeezes Misty’s ass, making her yelp at the sudden attention.

“Wanna feel you, carina,” he tells Misty, teasing her cunt through her shorts.

V helps Misty pull off her shorts, leaving her completely naked. The young merc can see the slick sticking to the inside of Misty’s inner thighs and all she wants to do is lap it up. But Jackie is already manhandling Misty, helping her move to straddle his lap, with her back towards him and facing V; reverse cowgirl style. Misty puts her hands back on Jackie’s chest, leaning her weight back on him as he holds her hips, his fingers squeezing the soft plush flesh.

Slowly, Jackie pulls Misty down on his cock, making her moan out as he fills her. He bounces Misty on his cock, fucking up into her. V watches agape, not sure where she wants to focus, from where the two meet, his cock pumping into Misty’s tight cunt. Or to Misty as a whole, the woman put on full display for V to watch as her breasts bounce with every thrust and she cries out with every slap of flesh hitting flesh.

She settles for doing much more than just watching, V dipping her head between their thighs and licking where Jackie and Misty connect. Its a sloppy mess, trying to keep up with Jackie’s pace as he pound into Misty. V laps and licks at his cock where she can, tasting Misty’s slick on him, kissing where Misty’s cunt takes in Jackie’s cock. She sucks and teases Misty’s clit, her own cunt clenching at the way the added pleasure makes Misty scream out. V’s mouth and tongue are everywhere they can be, desperate and sloppy in her rush to taste the couple, to add to their pleasure.

Misty grabs the back of V’s hair when she cums, pinning the merc in one spot as she screams out her release. V’s left to drool and keep her tongue out as Misty’s cunt and Jackie’s cock rub against her. She tastes the rush of Misty’s slick first, gushing and twitching as her pussy is overwhelmed. Then V tastes the bitter salt of Jackie’s cum, him cursing as he fills Misty and then keeps cumming, thick white spilling out and dripping back down his cock. The couple still, both panting heavily and Misty relaxing, letting V’s hair go as the young merc continues to lick up the mess. Misty collapses, practically boneless laying on Jackie’s chest.

Jackie gets his hands under her thighs and starts to bring them back, Misty whimpering as he’s able to hold her legs up, nearly bringing her knees to her chest. The shift in position causes his cock to slip out of her, his cum now spilling freely from Misty’s cunt, a wet messy show for V.

“Clean her up for me, V?” He asks it as casually as he’d ask V to lend her car. And V is just as happy to oblige.

V buries her tongue inside of Misty, moaning softly when Misty squeals at the feeling. Its a mess of Jackie’s cum and Misty’s, mingling on V’s tongue as she licks it up like she’s starved for it. Misty is a sensitive mess, being eaten out so soon after being fucked to pieces, but V doesn’t hold back; rubbing a thumb over the woman’s swollen clit while she laps up every drop of Jackie’s cum. There’s a shake in Misty’s thighs, instinct telling her to clench them shut, to trap V between her legs, but Jackie keeps her spread wide; only able to whimper and whine as the mess is licked up as her twitching wet clit is teased alongside every stroke of V’s tongue.

With each lick V tastes less and less of Jackie’s mess, cleaning up the creampie he’d left inside of Misty. And she doesn’t know what it is that sends Misty over the edge, one too many rubs of V’s thumb over her clit or particularly deep lick, V desperate to truly swallow down every drop of seed. But something does and Misty’s sent into a second orgasm, trembling and gushing against V’s tongue, screaming out as the pleasure consumes her. The merc slows down gently,steadily easing Misty through the aftershocks, until she’s done trembling.

Jackie lets go of Misty’s legs, letting her body relax as she gently moves to lay against his side. His cock is still half hard and there’s an itch inside of V that hasn’t quite been scratched, still wet and twitching between her thighs, the crotch of her thin shorts sticky with slick. But she doesn’t want to push it, she thinks as she goes to lay down on his other side. But, he has different ideas it seems, an idea catching in his mind as V’s in the midst of moving, on her hands and knees about to drop down onto the mattress. Despite his size he moves fast, grabbing at V’s hips and making her freeze, on his knees behind her as he pulls her ass back against his cock. She whines at the friction, as he grinds against her, quickly getting his cock fully hard again. Misty laying against the pillows next to them, satiated and content to watch the V and Jackie chase another orgasm.

And he yanks her shorts down as far as he can without changing the position, exposing her slick needy cunt.

“Fuck,” the low hungry curse sends a chill along V’s spine, the head of his cock leaving wet across her ass, before he rubs it over her sex.

There's a part of her that thinks they shouldn’t, that this is the step too far, a line that can’t be uncrossed; as if she hadn’t just had her face buried in Misty’s pussy. But, she needs this and by the tight hold Jackie has on her hips, he does too. A line that needs to be crossed even if it can’t be undone. An experience that has to be had, just to know what it’s like.

Then he’s sinking into her, pulling her back onto his cock, filling her. V’s eyes roll back, a silent cry on her tongue as she’s stretched and stuffed. Too much, too much; but exactly what she needs. Despite his size, he fills her easily, her body too needy to resist the push of him into her. He doesn’t give her time to adjust, not that she needs or truly wants it. They’re both at their limit, just needing this, to know what it’s like to be connected this way; to feel his cock pounding into her, to feel her cunt clenching around him.

She lets him set the pace, too overwhelmed to do anything, whimpering as he brutally fucks her; pulling her back against him as he thrusts forward. Both too far gone and desperate for this to be softer. The skin slapping together, sound ringing out through the apartment, a wet squelch everytime he sinks inside of her. Jackie uses her like a toy, like a human sized fleshlight to chase his own end with. And she knows she means more than that, in the moment it feels good to just be used, to be manhandled and fucked apart, to be a pillow princess taking his dick however he sees fit to give it. Each thrust sending her spiraling deeper and deeper into her pleasure, fucked stupid and mindless, unable to think of anything but how it feels to be fucked by him.

And that pleasure overwhelms quicker than she expects, bubbling over and orgasm hitting her before she even truly realized she was close. Mind going completely blank and throat raw as she screams out, cumming on his cock, toes clenching. And he fucks her through it, draws it out until he’s cursing under his breath and spilling inside of her. His second load, a little lighter than the creampie he left Misty with, but still thick and too much for V’s cunt to hold; the mess leaking down her thighs as she comes down from her high.

She whimpers when he pulls out, suddenly empty and more of his cum spilling from inside of her. Jackie collapses, in the middle of the bed, between Misty and V, sweaty and panting. V can’t help but laugh, throwing her shorts completely off, as Misty curls up close to his side. Jackie wraps an arm around Misty’s hip. His other hand skims V’s back as she leans over them to take her hearing aids out, putting them on the side table, then she’s pulled down to lay against his chest. V nuzzles in, looking at Misty’s face across the expanse of Jackie’s chest, V being held just as tightly to his side. Misty’s hand is on his chest and V reaches up, intertwining their fingers, earning her a soft serene smile from the older woman.

And there’s a lot that’ll need to be talked about. So many questions as to what this all means; what does V even want this to mean? A one time thing they don’t talk about, don’t deal with. A friendship ruiner, the start of something… new. So many possibilities and each one brings with it a different sort of anxiety. But for now, she’s content to sleep curled up under the sheets with her friends.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #jackie welles #misty olszewski #female v

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douxspider · 4 years ago

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— 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. (3)

‘ARVIN RUSSELL x READER INSERT’

( spoilers for “the devil all the time” ) — Waking up at Reader's place, we finally get a glimpse at Arvin's POV. Though, while their relationship seems to be moving forward, it seems like the whole 'running away into the sunset' deal only happens in fiction.

+ this is the third part to peachy keen! (ao3 link)

warnings: angst, almost smutty but nothing explicit is written, mentions of murder, preston teagardin lmao, rated mature word count: 4,244 published: 9/24/20 ao3 link — part 1, 2

— — • — —

When Arvin woke up leaned against you, he felt his face turn into a beet shade of red. Slowly parting from your leaning form on the couch, he rubbed his eye, unaware that he had an actual decent rest in such a cramped position. He hardly ever felt comfortable enough to sleep in his own bed. Usually, attempts at sleep were mostly met with staring at the ceiling blankly, recalling haunting memories on repeat in his head.

His thoughts were blank when he fell asleep. Arvin was met with nothing but the television’s staticy audio and the sound of your quiet breathing.

He looked over to take in your features— what amazing features, he thought— and found his hand carefully creeping to the side of your face to brush the knuckle of a finger near your ear, tucking a strand of hair behind it lovingly.

Arvin loved you.

He knew he shouldn’t— he knew he had no idea what love was— but within the few months spent together, Arvin knew he liked you too much to be calling it ‘liking’ and ‘platonic’.

That one stormy evening alongside memories of beating the hell out of Lenora’s bullies, blood and bruising splattering his knuckles like paint, he needed a place to clear his head. He needed a place that was quiet in every way shape and form. Arvin had been driving with a foggy haze before his eyes had locked onto McCann Boys. Arvin wasn’t hungry. He wasn’t anything, he just needed to sit somewhere other than a damn car where he could swerve into a building and die.

When he stepped in, the immediate smell of sweetness overloaded his senses, and he found himself hesitantly sitting down in a booth, wringing the cloth against his knuckles in a patterned fashion.

Then you approached.

And by God, had you been the prettiest sight to see. If it were on any other day, Arvin would’ve been sure to come up with better words than asking if he had to buy anything.

That’s not how you talk to a pretty face, his father would scold in his head, y’wanna smile at ‘er, and make her feel all sorts of butterflies. Y’gotta make her feel like the only girl in the world, son.

Arvin often had his father’s coaching in his head when it came to things like this. Though, it didn’t really make sense most of the time. His father didn’t live long enough to meet Arvin in his ‘girl phase’. This was more than a phase, he promised himself, looking at your resting form. And my, had the universe been so forgiving of him, making sunlight drawing from blinds rest on your features, highlighting your skin and making you look like a pure, unadulterated angel.

He wanted you.

Arvin bit his bottom lip. He wanted you so bad. He wanted to keep you forever. He wanted to take you away from this lowly place in Ohio and bring you somewhere nice, somewhere with beaches and sunshine, away from disgusting preachers, dried blood and judgmental eyes.

Realizing the first time you went to that church, Arvin could see the way that no-good priest looked at you. He knew what that man did to Lenora. He knew everything. Arvin got up from the couch, his fists turning stark white as he paced towards the apartment door, red building at the sides of his eyes. Arvin had to protect all the girls in town. He had to. For Lenora, for Y/N. He had to go and—

“Arvin?”

Hearing a voice that reminded him of bells, Arvin turned around, seeing you slowly rise up from the couch and looking over to make contact with him. “Where are you going?”

Your sleepy tone was so amiable. Your eyes were so dazed, blinking as you gave a small sniffle, scratching at your shoulder.

“I was…” Arvin trailed off before coming back towards you, kneeling in front of the couch and giving a smile as he took your hand. “I was gonna get you breakfast. As a thank you.” A lie, but it was fine. He was planning on watching the priest. Though, breakfast didn’t sound too bad. Time with you was worth more than anything else. You were all he had, next to his grandmother and uncle.

You smiled. He melted a little inside.

“You don’t need to get me anything,” you murmured as you clutched onto his hand. Your eyes were studious, flitting around his body, and he suddenly felt small. “Are you okay? I’m sorry about the sleeping stuff… if your neck was stiff, I mean, I’d feel bad—”

“Y/N,” Arvin spoke sternly, “that was the best sleep I’ve ever had in my life.”

Your eyes turned round, diluting slightly once they met the sunlight.

Arvin could hear his father’s berating tone in the back of his head. Say it. Be a man. He looked at the ground, holding onto your hand for dear life, uneasily balancing his weight on his knee. Though, Arvin couldn’t say anything. Nothing was coming out. There you were, waiting so patiently, being so patient with him, and he was at a lack for words.

Words wouldn’t fix this. Only action. Action would fix everything, Arvin knew this. He was taught this. He was always better physically expressing his thoughts and feelings than vocally or emotionally.

Releasing one of his hands from yours, he curved one underneath your palm and pulled your soft, untouched knuckles against his lips, giving a kiss. These knuckles have never hurt a soul. This being had never hurt anyone. Arvin would make sure it would stay that way.

He glanced upwards, his cap altering his view slightly, and he could make out the way your cheeks turned a different shade, inviting lips gaping slightly.

Smiling against your skin, Arvin moved his free hand to the top of yours and gazed at you. To his surprise, he watched as your thumb rolled circles against his own. You were smiling, and it was a smile to take in. Oh, it was.

“You’re sweet, Arvin,” you giggled so beautifully and he wanted to listen to his name coming out of your mouth on repeat, “...I kinda want donuts.”

Arvin couldn’t help but give a laugh under his breath at the change of moods. He stood up, continuously holding your hand as he refused to let it go, and said, “Let’s get donuts, then.”

—

He was angry. He was a pot boiling. Staring at Preston from afar, he watched from his car as the man interacted with a female shopowner who was fresh out of highschool. Arvin’s leg bounced within his vehicle, the sun setting, and he continued to survey.

Preston would interact with girls other than his wife. He would bring girls into his car and do unspeakable, unlawful things with them, then proceed to go back to the place he calls home and force himself onto his wife.

Arvin clutched onto the wheel.

While Preston was a horrible man who deserved the worst punishment from all graces of any lord, he found himself growing frustrated. Not even just about Lenora or all the sweet innocence the man took, Arvin found himself growing frustrated at his own damn self.

He would think about Y/N.

No, not doing such acts as those forcefully, imagining the same power dynamic, he would never. He meant it when he said he didn’t hurt girls. Arvin despised the man. He despised him and he wanted him gone. He wanted that man to suffer for what he did to his sister. Though, at points, he would drive up to your apartment and stare at the window that belonged to you. He would lick his chapped lips and his hand would shake as it reached the door handle. Then, Arvin would grow a clear sense of mind, he would receive clarity, and he would drive to the opposite side of town just to avoid even thinking about touching you in such a passionate way.

After a few days, Arvin decided.

He’d have to leave you behind.

He loved you, but he also loved Lenora, and Lenora deserved justice. Arvin could hear her voice already, pleading for him to let it go. To just let the man be. To leave. Do anything else. Settle down with you somewhere far, far away, start a life, start a family. Be free.

“I ain’t ever let anything go, ‘Nora.”

The priest was dead.

Arvin’s blood rushed through his veins as the sun set on the horizon, him zooming through the city streets, eagerly approaching your apartment.

God, it was a thrill. The adrenaline coursing through his veins after watching the damned predator fall onto the church floor bleeding from his wounds was cathartic. It made Arvin’s head whirl and turn dizzy. He had no moral thoughts, he was no longer moral, no longer a man that could be forgiven. Arvin felt the rage that built up within him for years be released with three gunshots, the guilt and agony of being alone and misjudged by any person left behind within the church.

Sitting in the car and hearing the blinker click at him, he turned it off once pulling into the lot. He took off his cap, carding his fingers through his hair, debating if he was really going to let you go.

Y/N offered a future he couldn’t take. It hurt more than anything.

Arvin glanced up at your patio, seeing you move from behind the window. You were only a silhouette. You were yet to be discovered by him in this manner, this new Arvin Russell. You wouldn’t recognize him, he thought, he wouldn’t recognize you.

It would be a completely different take on his life. He was no longer himself. Was he better, or worse? Was he a criminal, or a vigilante? Arvin didn’t know what to do. It hadn’t set in yet that he was no longer only capable of beating bullies shitless. He was so much more than that. He was more.

Arvin could do anything.

It was dark out. He finally found the courage to yank open the door handle and step out of his car. He didn’t bother to lock it, he had nothing to lose.

Entering the apartment’s doors, smelling various spices of cooking or hearing children laughing from very muffled walls, Arvin found himself stomping up the steps, his heart beating against his ribs uneasily.

Staring at the room, noticing that the others around were vacant, Arvin could just about do anything. No one would know.

He clenched his fists a few times before finally knocking on the door with his knuckles. It was like the first time you two had met, his very knuckles expressing his pain and anguish, and you read onto the signs of a lonely man seeking solace. Arvin was still bruised and broken; just not in any place where you could see it.

You opened the door, and your mouth opened before closing abruptly. Arvin knew he must’ve looked like he just killed someone. Well, he did, but you didn’t know about that.

Arvin wanted you. Though, he’d be careful, you were the one delicate thing in his life. He had to treat you with care. He had to treat you so gently this night, for it would be your last with him.

Taking a step inside, he moved his hand up and cupped your cheek, moving his thumb— once holding a gun used to kill— so that it wiped gingerly beneath your bottom lip. Your jaw fidgeted slightly as you were attempting to find words. Though, your hand didn’t disagree with his actions. Instead, it met the back of his palm, planted gently on top of his own hand that held your cheek.

Confident, Arvin moved in closer and pulled you towards him, meeting your lips with his. You made a soft noise in your throat and it set Arvin’s mind on fire. Flames danced between your faces, and he felt you eagerly kiss back, your arms snaking across his shoulders as he found himself kicking the door with the back of his heel to close it shut.

Your hands found themselves on the surface of his head and pushing off his cap to knot fingers in his hair. Arvin didn’t even care. His body was burning underneath your touch as he found himself pressing you against the nearest flat surface, which was your dining room table that held a vase with hand picked flowers resting inside and a sweet floral mat keeping it level. You were so adorable, he swooned in his head, you were so precious to him and oh so good. You’re so good.

Wife material, Arvin’s head was screaming, he wanted to steal you away and marry you. You were lifted onto the mahogany table, Arvin’s tongue swiping at your bottom lip. You were so good, submitting your mouth to him, letting him roam the inside and clutch onto your hips so tightly it could bruise. Feeling your soft, untouched, blessed hands clutch onto his belt line had him push his pelvis closer to yours.

“Arvin—” you attempted, but he wouldn’t let you. No, he wouldn’t let you worry. You didn’t need to worry about anything, not with him around. He was your protector, he would keep you safe, he wouldn’t let you die or leave. He wouldn’t let you be hurt by anyone. Thinking about keeping you close to him in his arms, just this close, making you sigh from pleasure as Arvin plastered kisses down your jaw and to your neck to test the waters of what made you quiver; it was enough to drive him insane.

He found his teeth scraping at your flesh and you gasped, arching your body upwards and he felt your hips grind against his middle. It made him give out a guttural growl of need.

“Arvin, wait— wait, honey, stop—”

Arvin didn’t want to. Though, he would, just for your sake. He lifted his head up to meet yours, and once you made eye contact with him, your expression changed from flustered to concerned. Nurturing. Your hand met his cheek, your thumb gently rubbing itself underneath his eye, and he moved a hand to hold your wrist and gently kiss your palm.

Your voice was so soft, so sweet, as if you raised it any further it would blow Arvin away. “What’s going on?”

He wanted to tell you everything. You were so kind, you were everything, you were the sun and stars and sky. Nuzzling into your hand, he murmured, “Nothin’...”

“It’s clearly something if you come into my apartment and start kissing me like this, Russell,” you spoke, his last name strong in your city accent. Your voice was so stern, so dead set on uncovering him, and Arvin gazed at you, still high from revenge and loving you.

He hesitated. Arvin pinched his lips together, licking them faintly, still tasting your lip scrub on them.

Your warm hands met his burning face, handling them so sweetly. “You don’t need to give me specifics,” you started, “...just give me something, Arvin, so I know you’re in your right mind.”

Your name made his eyes flutter shut, nudging his nose against yours. “Say m’name like that again, sweet girl…”

“Arvin.” Your tone was more of a warning. It pulled him back from the sea of desire.

Arvin sighed, mumbling, “I had a revelation, darlin’…” his thumb rolled circles into your wrist, “I had a good day… ‘m a free man, Y/N. I wanna share this with you.” He opened his eyes to see you gazing at him so sweetly. “Let me have this night with you, pretty girl. I wanna make you feel as good as me. I’m sober, I promise, ‘m just intoxicated by the thought of you.”

“Such a flirt,” you whispered against his lips, and he felt himself smirking.

“Only for you.”

Your beautiful, reflective eyes stared into his. Then, they shut, and you moved your head forward to slowly encapture his lips. Arvin was more than eager to requite this. Fervor filled his loins as he clutched your thigh once it was squeezing against his side.

“Sweet baby girl,” he whispered into your ear, “Can we move this to your bed?”

—

When Arvin woke up, he had never felt more exhausted. He was hit with a newfound clarity. There was a soft gray shade leaking from the windows, and he squinted at the clock from across the room— wiping the fogginess from his eyes— and took notice that it was in the early hours of five a.m. Arvin went to move, but was barricaded by something clinging to his side.

His eyes were round as saucers as he took a hold of your nude bodies entangled.

Flushed, he quickly whipped his head back ahead, staring at the ceiling.

The confidence he had last night was almost embarrassing. Though, he licked his teeth and looked back to you, his fingers carding through your hair. Your hair was so soft to the touch, so perfect for someone like you, never missing the latest trends.

Arvin gave a hum of contentment, taking in your features in the early morning. Last night was full of unbridled desire, a fervor that the both of you had been bottling up for who knows how long. Perhaps, since that rainy day in the bakery, there had been that weird spark that compelled you both to do this.

He buried his nose in your sweet scented hair, pressing his lips against your warm forehead, hearing you shuffle and murmur under your breath. You were still very much asleep.

Taking in your sleeping face for the last time, Arvin gave a pained smile. He didn’t want to leave you at all. He wanted to keep you forever— he wanted to wake up to this every day— but he couldn’t let you become an accomplice. Arvin had to protect you.

With that, he managed to sneak his way out of your koala arms and legs and get dressed in his old clothing. Reading over the letter he wrote yesterday, Arvin felt his heart break with each word. You didn’t deserve this. You deserved better than him— someone who could keep themselves together, who wasn’t so haunted by the past. You came to this city to escape yours, and he couldn’t drag you into his. He had to escape too. Some part of him knew you would understand that with time.

Arvin had stopped by a bakery quickly, ordering a lemon and poppyseed muffin with the most bittersweet feeling, coming back to your room to see you were still dead asleep.

He placed the muffin box down on the nightstand and folded the letter so that it stood up with your name on a proud display. Arvin’s hand wringed its way through his hair before he stared at his ragged blue cap for a moment, placing it alongside the muffin and letter.

Arvin leaned down to kiss you on the lips briefly, you giving a sleepy hum, pursuing your lips lazily before drifting unconscious again. He noticed that the sun was just rising.

The sunset brought a bit of hope. He watched you sleep for a bit, the purple turning into a golden on your features, before he made his exit.

—

Your body felt like jello. Giving a groan, your hands scavenged the sheets for the warm body that accompanied you that night, but you were left with a cold absence. Cracking your eyes open and grunting at the shine of the sun, the clock spoke nine a.m, and you were surprised Arvin was not with you.

You licked your lips and sat up. Stretching your spine, you noticed you were nude and blushed, pulling the sheets up your chest. “Arvin?” You called, noticing the lack of your friend— lover? Boyfriend? Friend with benefits?— and gave a long exhale. Luckily you had the day off, as convenient as that was.

Looking over, you noticed the hat, muffin box, and letter. Your name was in bold pencil, and you tilted your head curiously before leaning over and peering through the plastic cover. You smiled and saw the dark spots of poppyseeds on the treat. It was sentimental, and your heart nearly burst.

Gazing at the hat, you were inquiring if he just managed to leave it behind.

You decided to take the letter, opening it up and not preparing for what you’d read.

Y/N,

You’re probably wondering where I am right now. I am too. If you asked me right now, I wouldn’t be able to give you an answer.

I did something that can’t be forgiven. Maybe not by the Lord, definitely not by law, uncertain by you. I don’t want you to worry. I’m safe. I can’t come back. I can’t give you a number or address. I don’t know where I’m going, I don’t know who I will be.

The world ain’t been kind. I know it ain’t been kind to you either. I don’t want to make things even worse for you, sweet girl. You’re everything I didn’t deserve. You said to me a long time ago that I deserve good, but I don’t. You are such a good girl, so much so I can’t have you. A part of me wants to be selfish and keep you. I know I can’t. I can’t do that to you.

You’re gonna hear about that preacher man. You’re gonna hear things about me, probably. I just want you to know I did it because I had to. You need to know that. I couldn’t be alive knowing Lenora wasn’t and he was. I’m sorry, baby.

I’m sorry for leaving you. I don’t want to. There’s nothing I want more than for you to be with me right now, pretty girl. I’d give everything just to see you every morning, every afternoon, every night. Ever since that day where you forgave me for the first time for my sins, smoking and drinking black coffee, I know what else I could fight for. I know what I could have just for myself. The sad part is, God is a sadist, and he won’t let me have you.

You asked me if I like Puppy Love, and I do. I’m listening to music for once as I write this, and I understand all the stuff they cry about on the radio. I know what it means to love. My heart ain’t ever been this broke before, sweetheart.

I love you, Y/N.

As I said, we’ll be seeing each other again. Look out for postcards from my initials.

A.R.

When you finished, wet spots had been dotting the paper, and the last two initials were the final nail in the coffin. You let out a choked sob, leaning over to clutch onto the paper close to your chest. You collapsed onto the sheets, weeping, unable to comprehend. You kept asking why, why, why, even though it was right in front of you.

You flipped the page, noting the sweet lyrics on the back.

I cry each night, my tears are for you, my tears are all in vain, I hope, I hope and I pray, that maybe someday, you’ll be back in my arms once again.

Sniffling and wiping at your nose, you gave a few sobs, pressing your palm against your damp cheeks until they turned red.

You folded the paper and placed it back on your nightstand, curling in on yourself, clutching your sheets that still had Arvin’s presence lingering on them. Pressing them against your wet, hot face, you gave a few soft wheezes.

How could you tell Arvin you loved him, too? How could you write back to him? How could you sleep at night, not knowing he was okay? That there was no way you could tell him you’d wait forever for him?

You must’ve managed to doze off, as the sun was no longer as golden as before. The skies were a clear blue, and you managed to tug on tolerable clothes. Standing on your patio, you clutched the metal railings, staring down at the town with dismay. He was no longer here. This town no longer held that charming spark that you’d learn to love.

Walking back inside, you gazed at the letter, muffin, and hat. Leaning over, you grabbed the blue cap and rubbed your thumbs against the torn fabric, pressing the lid against your lips and kissing it. At least you had this— something you rarely saw him without. He gave you this, and your heart soared at the thought. Placing it on the top of your head, you took the lemon and poppyseed muffin and headed towards McCann Boys.

Marilyn perked at your presence, speaking, “Sweetpea, it’s not your workday.”

“I’m here as a guest,” you murmured, gazing at her, and Marilyn’s eyebrows rose at your expression. She gave a sorry nod at you, continuing to swipe down the counters.

You sat in the booth you and Arvin met at, and you took your seat, gazing at the ashtray emptily. Picking at the muffin, you fixed your cap to hide your face.

The radio near the coffee player began to sing. Your heart dropped, and you recalled the oh-so familiar lyrics.

...This is not a puppy love.

#arvin russell #arvin russell x reader #the devil all the time #arvin #reader #reader insert #peachy keen #sfw #M #my writing #douxdamian #fic #tdatt #tom holland #multichap

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multibug · 5 years ago

Text

Passion Fruit Lip Gloss

AO3

HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U SO MUCH @emsylcatac

tags: identity reveal, fluff, kissing, aged-up characters, slight crack

Marinette adjusts the bedazzled party hat atop her head, the bright gold a stark contrast to her jet black hair. It doesn’t exactly go with her outfit of choice, though she’s not necessarily angry at it.

It was either that or the bedazzled green tiny cowboy hat.-

(“Green?!” she had asked Alya, when she was showing Marinette ideas about what to do for the hats.

“For our school colors, silly. We probably won’t use them anyway.”

Alya did end up using them in the end.)

Marinette’s wearing a peach-colored long-sleeve silk button up with thin red and white stripes vertically lining it. It’s tucked into a pair of black shorts with a leather belt.

In a moment of pure hastiness, she had chosen her tallest thigh high black heels, with a heel that raised her three full inches over her normal height.

A small beret keeps one side of her hair pinned back so her ear is exposed. She tied a thin choker around her neck to complete the look and a small touch of makeup with glossy lips.

It’s passion fruit flavor.

The clock hanging on the wall reads 23h00, giving Marinette a good hour and a half before she can beg off feigning tiredness as her excuse so Alya doesn’t call her a party pooper. It’s not that Marinette doesn’t like to party per say, it’s that she’s not exactly the third wheel type.

She’s had more than enough of it the last few days, thank you very much.

All of their friends are paired up with someone, whether it’s platonic or not. Alya and Nino, Kim and Ondine, Luka and XY—a big shocker to all of their friends with how much Luka despised him back in the day. There’s the obvious Juleka and Rose still holding strong, Kagami and Chloé, another eye-opener when they revealed it to their friends earlier last month.

Ivan and Mylène, who endured a long-distance relationship for a while before Ivan and his family moved back to Paris in August. Nathaniel and Marc, who sadly weren’t around a lot to cause Marinette much of a heartache, but enough nonetheless.

Even Alix and Max, two entirely platonic friends, were enough to make Marinette feel like she was third wheeling.

They aren’t doing it on purpose, at least Marinette thinks they aren’t, yet the longing to have someone on this chilly New Years Eve is almost unbearable. Almost.

A mix of something fruity and strong loiters in her hand long enough to help kick the feeling.

“Girl, what are you doing all the way over here by yourself?” Alya gently bumps her hip into Marinette’s, eyeing her over the top of her straw as she takes a sip of her drink. “You’ve been off all night!”

Alya’s cowboy hat is nearly slipping off her head at this point, though it looks as though the redhead hasn’t noticed.

Marinette stifles a giggle, shoving her half-filled drink into Alya’s free hand. She watches in bemusement as part of the drink sloshes to the floor and goes about fixing the small hat on top of Alya’s head. “There! All fixed.”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you trying to avoid my question,” Alya remarks with a sharply raised eyebrow.

“Me? Trying to avoid your question? Alya, you must be drunker than you think!” Marinette quickly takes the drink back from Alya’s hand and downs the rest of it, throwing an overly enthusiastic thumbs up in its wake.

“I’m on my first drink, M,” Alya deadpans.

Pursing her lips together, Marinette shrugs her shoulder sheepishly. “Sorry?”

The song changes from a slower song to a more upbeat one, the accompanying lights Nino installed in his and Alya’s apartment changing to the tune of it.

Alya knocks back the rest of her drink and slams the cup onto a nearby counter, a devious glint in her eyes.

Oh no.

“Come dance with me, M!” Her hand encircles Marinette’s wrist, tugging her onto the makeshift dance floor whether Marinette wants to or not.

Marinette nearly trips over her heels in an attempt to keep up with Alya’s longer legs, knowing it's fruitless to argue with Alya when she has her mind set to something.

Out of the corner of her eye, a familiar tall blond squeezes past them with relative ease, Marinette briefly making eye contact with them. Time feels as though it slows down, Marinette’s lips parting slightly as she peers into the bright eyes of Adrien, who she hasn’t seen since Nino threw him a spectacular 19th birthday party in September.

A birthday party that Marinette still can’t remember to this day.

All she recalls is getting extremely plastered after seeing Adrien pictured with a girl in his newest edition of Vogue Paris. He hadn’t spoken about whether the girl was his girlfriend at the time, yet seeing them together had her feeling as though she was on fire.

Months of Marinette working towards getting over him just for her to realize it’s seemingly useless.

He’s always going to have a special place in her heart, she suspects.

His eyes soften as soon as he realizes it's her, his lips curving into a beautiful smile that outperforms all of his photoshoot pictures by a landslide. His hair’s grown slightly longer since she’s last seen him, curling around the back of his ear—a bit reminiscent of their collège days.

Adrien’s still just as gorgeous as she remembers.

“You look good,” she squeaks out over the bass of the music, inwardly screaming at herself to shut up.

“Thank you—” he cuts himself off as Alya drags Marinette across the room, his hand outstretched in reaching towards her.

Gosh, how she yearns to see if it’s as soft as it looks, even in the dim multi-colored lighting.

“Honey, I think the liquor is getting to you,” Alya whisper-yells into her ear, a tiny smirk lingering on her face.

Marinette rolls her eyes and shakes her head, the party hat sliding with the movement. “No way, Al! I haven’t been drinking like that. Only enough for some liquid courage, you know?”

Just then, she trips over the heel of her boot and nearly forces them to the floor from using Alya as leverage. Thankfully, Alya was standing close enough to the wall to support them before that happened.

“Sure, babe. I’ll make sure either Nino or I take you home later.”

Sticking her tongue out at Alya, she sets her empty drink onto the nearest flat surface and throws her arms around Alya’s neck, losing herself to the beat of the music. Her hips move in time with the songs, some she faintly remembers, and others she’s never heard of.

Alya’s close enough to her that she begins to feel a bit sweaty as the songs pass.

At some point while Hot in Herre by Nelly is playing, Nino saddles up to them with drinks in his hands.

“Babe, I think she’s had enough,”Alya all but snaps.

Nino shoots her a look that says relax without actually saying it.

“Thanks, Nino! You’re a real pal.” Marinette loops her arm through his and leans her head against his bicep, taking a sip from the drink he gives her. “Yuck, water.”

“Yeah, you are a real pal,” Alya says with a fond grin, pressing a slightly sweaty kiss to his cheek. “Thanks, love.”

Marinette huffs. “I take it back. You’re not my pal.” She ruins this statement by tightening her grip on his arm.

“Ooh, she’s clingy tonight. Are you drunk, Nette?”

“I’m not drunk. I’m just abnormally tipsy is all! I think it might just be hitting me now. Oh dear, maybe the water is a good idea.” Frowning, she sips at the water with her nose scrunched, a small pout forming on her face.

Raising her arm up to stare at the watch on her hand, she squints her eyes and is barely able to make out the time: 23h50.

Another New Years Eve, another kissless year.

“Hey guys! Kim is looking for you two. He said something about a major spill in the kitchen?”

It’s Adrien, dressed in a light blue—is that Givenchy?!—cotton button-up with yellow and green flowers scattered on it. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and the shirt itself is tucked into a pair of black skinny jeans and a pair of brown chelsea boots.

It suits him well, so much so that she clenches her jaw to stop it from dropping.

Snap out of it.

Marinette blinks owlishly at Adrien, the liquor causing her head to feel fuzzy.

“I don’t want to leave Nette alone—”

Adrien laughs softly, hands shoved into his pockets as he interrupts, “Nino, I can take care of Mar while you guys go help Kim, yeah?”

“I am not a child.” Marinette detaches herself from Nino and stands proudly, chin held high. “I can take care of myself!”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t,” Adrien replies gently, as to not spook her. “I’ll just be around to make sure you’re okay in the process, is that cool?”

He’s so nice. It warms her heart. “Yeah, sure.”

“Cool, let’s go.” He slings an arm over her shoulder languidly and smiles down at her.

Her heart races.

“Do you want to go onto the balcony to watch the fireworks? Nino and Alya said it’s off limits, but I’m sure they’ll make an exception for us, right guys?”

Alya winks over at Marinette as Adrien’s head turns away to glance at Nino, and she replies, “Yeah, go for it.”

A blush rises on her cheeks, heat stinging her face. She’s going to kill Alya.

“C’mon, Mar, we’re out this bitch.” Adrien steers them over to the balcony and easily has them through the sliding doors within seconds.

It drowns out the party lingering behind them.

Glancing down at her wrist, Marinette notes that her watch reads 23h55. Five minutes until midnight. Time feels as though it’s gone so fast yet so slow, strangely enough.

She shivers, though the sensation is mostly coming from her stockings as her shirt’s fairly thick. She’s surprised when she feels a weight on her shoulders.

Out of thin air, Adrien produces a heavy bomber jacket that warms her to the core immediately. Maybe he grabbed it on their way out without her realizing it? Whatever the case may be, she’s very grateful for the heat seeping into her body while they’re out in the frigid Parisian air.

“Thank you,” she murmurs in response, her arms crossing to grab either side of the jacket and hold it around her body.

“Of course,” he replies, shooting her the same smile from earlier.

It warms her more than the jacket does.

“You know,” he starts, hands twitching on the balcony railing, as he glances from the beautiful city view to her face. “I have so much to talk to you about. So much to say. Now isn’t the right time obviously, as you’ve been drinking—”

Her eyebrows furrow together. “I’m perfectly coherent, Adrien.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t,” he defends easily, his arm groping her elbow to ground her. “I’m just saying that I think this is a conversation where both of us should be completely sober and open to hearing the topic at hand.”

What does he mean by that? She’s not sure where she should be confused and worried or elated that he wants to talk to her about something serious. Either way, it’s puzzling her already fuzzy brain to the point where she bites down on her lower lip and lets out a huff unknowingly.

“Is it bad?” she finally asks, eyes flickering to her watch.

23h58.

“No, no! It’s not bad at all.” He squeezes her elbow reassuringly and smiles warmly at her, eyes glittering even in the dim light that shines above them. “I’m hoping it’ll be a good conversation, though I want you to remember it. That’s why I’m waiting.”

Waiting. Good. it’s good. For a good conversation. Ugh. Her brain hurts.

“Okay,” Marinette murmurs, blinking up at him slightly confused. She returns the smile once she notices his, it being too contagious for her not to. “Okay, I believe you.”

He hasn’t removed his hand from her elbow. She hasn’t shaken him off either.

Beyond them, miles and miles away, in the sea of twinkling lights and crowds of people, fireworks explode into the night sky as bright sensations. They light up the dark with their vibrant colors and intoxicating patterns, making it irresistibly hard to look away.

The second she does, her eyes are drawn to another light, this one alive.

Adrien, who is watching the fireworks with an expression of wonder. A tilt to his eyebrows and a small drop of his jaw, cheekbones dipping high with the shadow of the night.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she asks, rather than wishing him a Happy New Years. Rather than stare at the beautiful swirls and patterns happening adjacent to her. She’s too focused on the beautiful boy in front of her, whether he knows she’s talking about him or not.

It has to be said.

He lets out a small chuckle and nods his head, free hand rubbing at the back of his head as he whispers, “Yeah, it sure is.”

“Bonne Année, Adrien, “ she whispers, so gently that she’s unsure as to if he’s heard it.

Wonder-filled eyes flickering over to her helps in answering her question.. He grins impossibly wide, all of his teeth showing so it’s nearly comical, yet it’s so unabashedly Adrien that she can’t help but return it for a second time tonight.

Adrien leans in, and for a second, Marinette truly thinks he’s going to kiss her. Her heart starts stuttering and the color the cold had ripped from her returns to her body so fast it feels like whiplash.

He doesn’t kiss her.

And yet, that isn’t the exact truth either, is it?

Lips brush against the apple of her cheek, so light that the touch feels both hot and cold simultaneously. It sends shivers throughout her body and the spot on her skin that his lips linger on burns hotter than the temperature of the sun.

She can’t think. Her brain is complete mush.

The tip of his cold nose nudges against her cheek afterwards briefly as he leans in to whisper into her ear, “Bonne Année to you as well, Marinette.”

Her heart continues to flutter until she falls asleep minutes later, curled up in his jacket all while leaning on him.

---

Daylight shines in through the slits of her blinds faster than Marinette would’ve liked, considering the horrible ache in her head. Except, she can’t exactly remember how she made it back to her apartment, which is a weird feat for her.

She rarely drinks enough to where she doesn’t remember what’s happening—Adrien’s birthday party being an anomaly.

How did she make it home yesterday?

Hm, maybe it was Alya or Nino? They aren’t the type to abandon one another in their times of need. even in times of absolute peril. There’s no way they didn’t have some part in getting her home, even if it meant physically seeing that she made it into her apartment building before leaving.

The thought makes her feel all fuzzy inside.

It could’ve been any of their friends at the party, if she’s honest. She doesn’t remember anything after Hot in Herre played on the dancefloor; hopefully bits and pieces come back as time goes on.

Oh well, it mustn’t be that important.

Peeling open an eye has her glancing over at her nightstand, a bottle of paracetamol and a glass of water sitting neatly on her otherwise messy cupboard. She makes a move to grab the bottle and water when movement near her balcony door has her freezing in place.

Chat Noir is standing there, back turned to her—she can even recognize him in horribly-taken photographs—as though he’s trying to sneak out. He turns to glance back at her and she soundly slips her eyes shut, feigning sleep.

As her balcony door creaks, her eyes open and she watches Chat shut the door and bounce off the balcony with his staff.

“Tikki?”

Her small, red friend flies out from her little nest. “Yes, Marinette?”

“Was Chat Noir just in my room?” Her voice is thick with sleep and slightly hoarse.

Tikki’s eyes widen and she glances around the room nervously. “No? Were you dreaming? Chat Noir was most definitely not in here!”

Marinette’s eyes squint up at her. “Don’t lie to me. I just saw him!”

“Well, then why did you ask me?” Tikki whines, deflating a bit as she floats closer to Marinette. “Yes, Chat Noir was here. If you want to know more, I’ll tell you as you are the Guardian and it’s your decision, but if you don’t, I won’t utter a word.”

“Will it jeopardize me knowing his identity? I wouldn’t want to do that to him,” Marinette worries, using her thumb and forefinger to toy with her lower lip.

Stroking her chin thoughtfully, Tikki shrugs. “It may. I can’t say yes or no for sure. It would have to be a risk you’re willing to take.”

“Ugh, no. I’m not going to do that to him. It wouldn’t be fair.” Marinette sighs, finally opening the bottle of paracetamol and downing two with large gulps of water. “Though I am curious.”

“As they say, curiosity killed the cat!” Tikki replies with a giggle.

Face-palming, Marinette groans aloud. “Oh no. He’s rubbing off on you too!”

---

“Girl, I’m surprised you haven’t called me,” Alya tells her, a few days later, when the New Years resolution goals have already lost their momentum. “I figured I’d get a phone call as soon as you got home.”

“What are you talking about, Als? Sorry, hold on.” Marinette pauses, readjusting the phone between her ear and shoulder. Her classes haven’t let back in for the semester, yet she’s trying to get a headstart on pinning a new design she’s working on so she doesn’t fall behind. “Okay, go on. I have my brain screwed in now.”

Things aren’t going according to plan, obviously.

Alya snorts. “With you and Adrien, duh! Do you seriously not remember it? I thought you weren’t plastered.”

“I wasn’t plastered! I guess I was just more tipsy than I thought I was.”

“So, you were drunk?”

“Shut up.”

Letting out another round of laughter, Alya says, “Well, I can fill you in if you’d like. It’s pretty juicy.”

“I don’t know if I want to know,” Marinette groans, rubbing an exasperated hand over her face.

“Oh come on! It’s not even bad! You did pretty well considering the circumstances!”

A pin falls to the floor at Alya’s word, forcing Marinette to tell her friend to hold on again. Three minutes later, she successfully finds the pin that somehow hid under the mannequin stand where she couldn’t see it.

Lucky? Pft. Not Marinette.

“You were saying?” Marinette asks.

Alya fills her in on all of the details rather quickly, from Adrien whisking her away while still being a gentleman about it to them having alone time on the balcony. The story lasts all of a minute, even with Alya’s expertise in story-telling, and it has Marinette’s heart fluttering.

The puzzle pieces start to connect.

“Als, I just remembered what happened on the balcony,” Marinette says, eyes slightly wide.

“Bitch, you better tell me right the fuck now or I’m going to come over to your apartment and sit on you.”

“You say that as if it’s a threat.”

“Marinette!”

Marinette lets out a snort and slaps her knee. She sets the last pin before rolling the mannequin back into its temporary home for the night. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’m just playing around, Als!”

“I love you, babe, but you’re killing me here.”

“Sorry,” she replies, though she’s really not.

“.....Marinette?”

“Oh! Right!” Marinette can hear Alya face-palming over the phone. “Well, all I remember is us talking and him telling me that he has to talk to me about something important. I don’t really remember much else but he kissed me on the cheek, Alya.”

Alya squeals—a sound Marinette’s never heard come from her mouth—and a jostling noise comes from her end. “Holy fuck, M! That’s amazing!”

“Right? At first I thought he was going to kiss me, but a cheek kiss is just as good nonetheless!”

“Babe, you were drunk. It’s a good thing he didn’t kiss you. That means he respects you, regardless of whether there’s any feelings or not there.”

Marinette lets out a small laugh, her heart swelling at Alya’s words. “You always know how to make situations better, don’t you?”

“It’s kind of my job,” Alya replies.

“And I love you for it.”

Alya blows a smooch over the phone. “Mwah! Right back at you.” She pauses, then quickly continues, “Oh! Did he say anything when he left your apartment after he dropped you off?”

Wait, what?

Marinette has no recollection of this happening whatsoever. She faintly remembers falling asleep against him—he was just so warm, okay?—but him taking her home? Alya has to be mistaken.

“He took me home? Are you sure? I don’t remember that.”

“Yeah, he specifically told Nino and I that he’d take you home and then sent us a picture of you tucked in bed that night to ease my worrying. You know how much of a motherly hen I can be sometimes.”

None of it makes sense. Even if he did take her home that night, why was Chat Noir in her room early in the morning?

Unless…

No. There’s no way. Absolutely no way that she’s been this blind. No way that Marinette’s this lucky.

She’d know if her two favorite people in the world—excluding Alya and Nino—were the same person, right? There’s no way that the miraculous could’ve hidden it that well from her that she wouldn’t have noticed.

Except maybe... It had?

It comes together like whiplash. All of their mannerisms. From the way both Chat and Adrien rub their necks when they’re nervous, or when they make jokes but immediately retract them so as to not hurt the person’s feelings. Both of them having a rough home life and awful dads.

Piercing green eyes that remind Marinete of a home away from home.

It reminds her of those times in collège and lycée when Adrien would disappear and reappear whenever she would. She had attributed it to him being afraid of the akumas and finding somewhere safe to hide that entire time. It’s not like it was her place to judge anyone’s ways to cope with what was happening!

The quirks that the both of them share. Two halves of a whole. They merge together beautifully in her mind, filling a void she hadn’t known existed until now.

Her heart is so, so full.

“Als. I think I just had the world’s biggest revelation,” she breathes out, sounding absolutely lovesick.

“What is it?” Nino’s yelling about something incoherent in the background, and Marinette can just faintly hear Adrien’s voice.

“I think I’m in love with Adrien.” Her stomach flutters at her words.

Alya splutters out a hearty laugh. “Oh, M. We’ve been knew.”

---

Three days. Marinette’s lived with her secret for three whole days and she’s losing it.

She begged off spending time with Alya, Nino, and Adrien to try and gather her thoughts. Adrien being Chat is the best possible outcome for a partner she could’ve ever dreamed of, but she wants to tell him how much he means to her without fumbling over her words too much.

It’ll probably still happen. He is Adrien, for crying out loud.

Earlier, Marinette transformed so she could write some notes down in her compact in case she gets too flustered. Adrien’s nice enough that he won’t judge her for it, so she’s not too worried.

After a quick application of her favorite passion fruit flavor lip gloss, she sets off for their patrol meetup point.

“Tikki, I’m so nervous,” she says.

No response. Yes,. Marinette’s aware that her kwami can’t hear her or speak to her while she’s suited up, yet the hope still lingers for some absurd reason.

Marinette wholeheartedly blames the nerves.

Spotting Chat—Adrien is difficult. He blends into the shadows so easily that Marinette nearly falls off the building when he blinks his eyes open. She’s lucky that he has fast reflexes to catch her by the waist, because with how out of it she’s been today, she might’ve forgotten to use her yo-yo.

“Bug! It’s so nice of you to drop in.”

Oh no. His jokes just make him more attractive. She’s fucked.

Marinette’s hands fall to his biceps, and she’s unsure as to if she wants to tug him closer or push him away at that awful joke that has her heart racing. A look of surprise crosses his face and she squeaks, ducking out of his grip.

“Thanks,” she replies quietly.

“You didn’t make fun of my joke. Are you okay?” Concern etches its way onto his face. Out of the corner of her eye, Marinette sees his fingers twitch in her direction. He stops himself as soon as he notices, choosing instead to idly twist the ring on his finger.

Taking a deep breath, she places her hand over his restless one. “Relax, kitty. I’m okay. Just nervous, because I have to talk to you about something.”

His eyes widen at her words, lips parting as he exhales a breath. She faintly feels it on her face as he says, “I have something to tell you too. It’s kind of urgent.”

“You can go first, okay? I can wait a little while longer.”

Adrien nods, tilting his head to the side with a cute smile on his face. “How much do you trust me?”

“With my life,” Marinette responds instantly.

It isn’t a lie, either. She genuinely trusts him with her life. Transformed, detransformed, heck, she trusts him blindfolded at this point.

He nods his head at her words and starts towards her, arms outstretched. Even as he scoops her up into his arms, her trust in him is unabated. “Hold onto me tight and don’t open your eyes until I tell you to, alright?”

“Alright,” she echoes.

Then, Adrien’s off, running over rooftops at speeds that seem unimaginable when it isn't of her own doing. Her ponytail whips about in the frigid air, Marinette using his neck as a shield from the harsh wind.

She’s thrown back to Glaciator, where she and Adrien spoke about misfortunes and missed opportunities. He ended up showing her a beautiful scene atop a nearby rooftop, as both Ladybug and Marinette. Thinking back, her racing heart should’ve been a sign that her feelings for Chat weren’t platonic, yet it took years of walking on eggshells for one of them to finally crack.

“We’re almost there. You good down there?”

“I’m fine,” she says, laughing into his suit. “This isn’t where I find out you’re going to drop me off a building as a prank, is it?”

He scoffs, softly landing on what she assumes to be another rooftop. “Hardy har har, Bugaboo.”

The sound of a door opening and closing lets her know they’ve arrived—apparently it wasn’t a rooftop—and the temptation to look around is higher than she expected. She waits for his approval, wanting him to trust her as much as she trusts him.

“I’m going to set you down now, okay?”

Marinette nods into his neck, extending her legs so she can place them on the floor as he lowers her. Her arms stay wrapped around his neck, while her eyes continue to stay closed.

“I’m going to step back and then you can look.” Adrien lingers for a brief moment, breath fanning over Marinette’s face.

As he shifts away from her, her arms drop to her sides. Her eyes blink open seconds later and she peers around the bright room a little dazedly.

They’re in her shared apartment with Alya—in her room.

Younger Marinette would be freaking out about having Adrien Agreste in her room.

(Older Marinette isn’t faring much better.)

For some strange reason, Adrien knowing her identity never popped into her head when he said he had to talk to her. She had no clue as to what it could’ve been—especially not that.

“Oh,” Marinette breathes.

“Please don’t be mad,” he rushes out, hands shaking about in front of him in a nervous manner. “I couldn’t figure out how to tell you that I know. And I didn’t mean to find out! I swear! It kind of just happened? I can’t even tell you how I found out unless you’re willing to know my identity too—gosh, I’m going to stop talking now.”

Seeing him so jittery helps to calm the rattling of her heart.

Marinette wordlessly grabs his hand and brings him over to the fluffy rug in the center of her room. She flops on top of it and criss-crosses her legs so he has enough room to do the same opposite her.

He follows, albeit a confused expression lingers on his face.

Their hands stay joined together, a nice weight resting on her knee. The tip of his claw is rubbing small circles into her palm, whether he notices it or not.

“I’m not mad,” she says, the softest of smiles spreading onto her cheeks. “I could never be mad at you, kitty.”

Adrien lets out a sigh of relief and squeezes her hand, her heart flipping at the fond look he gives her. “Good, good.”

They stare at one another for a moment too long, before Marinette murmurs fuck it under her breath and detarnsforms.

His suit is oddly cool against her bare knee, his eyes flickering to their hands then back up to her face. He licks at his lips and breathes out, “Oh.”

“Hi,” she greets, with a small wave of her free hand.

“You’re so beautiful,” he blurts out.

Marinette lets out a surprised laugh, red peeking out under the dip of his mask. Her voice is teasing as she says,“Thank you, I can’t tell if you’re trying to make me blush or not.”

“Marinette, please.”

Hearing him say her name has her heart fluttering, and she detangles their hands to push up onto her knees, crawling towards him. She nudges his legs apart so she can fit between them, arms wrapping around his neck. Her cheek presses against his, the cool material of his suit helping to soothe her burning cheeks.

Even with the suit protecting him, she can feel the thumping of his heart against her chest.

“You wanna know my secret?” she asks faintly, as his hands move to settle on her back.

“Yes, tell me.” His claws rest lightly against the fabric of her shirt.

Her nose brushes against the tip of his ear and she feels him shudder. “I think you’re really, really cute, Adrien.”

“Plagg, claws off.” The transformation light has her eyes slipping shut briefly. When she reopens them, Adrien’s sat in front of her with a blinding smile on his face. “Hi.”

For some reason, she’s brought to tears by the situation. She holds them back the best she can. “Hey.”

She’s just so happy.

“I’m so glad it’s you, by the way,” Adrien professes, blinking back his own set of tears. “Like I know I’ve known for a while and all, but this still feels like finding out for the first time.”

“Are you trying to make me cry? You asshole,” she whines, tears sliding down her face.

Before she can reach up and wipe them away on her own, Adrien’s hand is there to do it for her. His touch is so gentle, and instead of returning to its previous position on her back, he tucks her hair behind her ear.

“I’m so glad it’s you, Adrien. You mean so much to me. And to know that two of my favorite people are the same person? How could I be so lucky?”

“Two of your favorite people?” His head tilts to the side cutely, his hand idly stroking her jaw.

A blush returns to her face as she replies, “Yeah, I’m shocked you didn’t know, if I’m honest. I was so obvious about it! I’ve liked you as Adrien for so long, and then as soon as I realized that you’re Chat, all of my feelings for Chat were brought to light.”

“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard,” he murmurs, licking at his lips.

“Oh, shut up. Don’t tease me!”

“I’m not teasing you, Mar! You’re just really cute!”

Oh god. Her face hides in his shoulder as she emits a small groan, gripping the fabric of his sweatshirt. “I’m going to pass out if you keep talking about me like this.”

Adrien lets out a laugh that vibrates against her chest. “Well, I don’t want you to pass out, but I need you to know how much I like you.”

“Adrien,” Marinette squeaks, face digging into his shoulder.

“Marinette,” Adrien echoes.

Slowly, she raises her head to shoot a pouty look in his direction. “You’re mean.”

“You don’t think I’m mean,” he starts, a devious glint in his eyes. Uh oh. “You like me.”

Marinette’s heart flips as his words, her lip only jutting out further. She tries to maneuver out of his arms, yet he doesn’t budge, his hand rubbing soothing circles against her back. “I take it back.”

“No, you’re not allowed to do that. I will cry again!” He widens his slightly bloodshot eyes to prove his point.

“How did you even find out?” she asks, smoothly changing the subject.

“You told me. At my birthday party. You were drunk, so I sat with you for a while and you started rambling about things that didn’t really make sense—”

“Oh no.”

He sends her a small smile, then says, “Yeah, I hadn’t really believed that you were Ladybug at that point because you were really drunk, yet you mentioned our patrol meeting spot for the week and called ‘Chat’ your annoyingly hot partner that has a nice ass and it clicked.”

“That’s it. I’m leaving and never coming back. Why am I so embarrassing? Annoyingly hot partner that has a nice ass? I could’ve lived without knowing I said that to you!” Her forehead drops to lean against his cheek.

“It was cute! You’re cute and I like you so much, yeah?” His head turns so he can make eye contact with her, their noises brushing with how close they are to one another.

Marinette really wants to kiss him.

“Can I kiss you?” she asks, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she awaits his response.

“Of course. You really didn’t have to ask, because I’d let you kiss me any day of the week, but I think it’s really nice that you did ask—”

She cuts off his nervous rambling by kissing him, her hand sliding up into his hair at the base of his neck. Her heart feels like it’s about to burst out of her chest.

He tastes like flavored lip balm, hand moving from the dip of her back to her hip to hold her steady.

He tastes familiar.

It’s weird to think of. She kissed him when Kim became akumatized. According to the picture Alya showed her after hers and Nino’s joint akumatization, they had kissed for whatever reason.

Their almost kisses come to mind and she feels a different type of heat rise on her cheeks.

Marinette pulls back with a groan, nearly squeaking as Adrien follows her blindly to press a chaste kiss to her mouth. He lets her slip out of his arms and shove her face into the carpet, a hand trailing gently over her back.

“Was it that bad?” he jokes, sifting his other hand through her hair.

“No, oh my gosh. It was everything I’ve ever dreamed of! Your lips are really soft! I just thought of how I tried to kiss you when you faked being a statue all those years ago and now I’m embarrassed!”

“You’re the cutest ever,” he says, flopping onto his side to lay next to her. He brushes his lips over the shell of her ear and nudges at her cheek with his nose. “Don’t be embarrassed! I’ve said and done so many things in front of you that could be considered embarrassing, but because it’s you, I don’t care.”

She turns her head and shoots him a look. “You never tried kissing a statue version of me!”

“And I like you even more for that! Look at us, Mar! We’re 18 and 19 respectively, and we’re laying on your fluffy rug around midnight! Everything about this could be considered embarrassing, except it’s not! Because it’s us.”

Adrien’s words only make Marinette more attracted to him at this point.

“We’re allowed to be embarrassing, but only when it’s us?” she asks.

He nods, lips quirking into a big smile. “Yes, exactly. I won’t be embarrassing with anyone else but you. You’re my embarrassing person, Marinette.”

“My heart shouldn’t be fluttering at you calling us embarrassing,” she whines, laying her hand on his chest.

“Embarrassingly in love idiots?” he whispers, finding her hand to tangle their fingers together so he can bring them up to his lips and brush his mouth over the back of her hand.

Marinette exhales a quiet laugh and says, “Very embarrassingly in love.”

They fall asleep like that, his arm wrapped around her waist while she lays her head on his chest, breaths mingling together.

It’s the best sleep she’s had in ages.

---

Marinette’s phone buzzing wakes her up the next morning.

She fumbles around for the device, letting out a small aha as her fingers grip the electronic. It’s hard for her to open her and stare at the small screen, yet when she notices it’s a message from Adrien, her eyes snap open.

Wait, when did she get in her own bed?

Quickly opening the message, she reads it with increasing vigor as the message goes on.

Adrien: Hey, Mar. I couldn’t stay long after you fell asleep because I had a photoshoot this morning and you looked so cute that I didn’t want to wake you. I feel like I did a poor job at letting you know how I felt yesterday, so I’m going to say it here so it’s clear and you know, okay? (Don’t judge me!!!)

I like you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. You have such amazing qualities that I admire and adore. You’re a leader who isn’t afraid to stick up for what she believes in, whether you’re in the suit or out of it! You make the world a better place just by being you. I couldn’t think of a better person being Ladybug, and it makes me so happy that it’s you.

I’d love to get to know you more. I think we both know that we click really well at this point, but I want to do this right with you. We’re a team, Bug. You and me. So, what do you say?

Her hand groggily slaps the call button, wiping back a few tears that slide down her cheeks from his works.

The phone rings three times before he picks up.

“Hey, Mar. Did you get my message—”

“You stupid cat! I’m sitting here at eight in the morning crying because of you! I loved every second of it.”

He lets out a soft chuckle, and she can hear the smile in his voice as he asks, “So does that mean it’s a yes?”

“We should go to the museum and reenact our statue scene as our date,” Marinette suggests, a large grin making its way onto her face.

Adrien nearly chokes. “Of course. I wouldn’t want it any other way, little bug.”

#miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #miraculous ladybug fic #chat noir #ladybug #adrienette #ladynoir #i don't know whether to tag theo thers so ill just kepe it at them OKKOHGDKAOYERAO #IHOPE U LIKE IT EMSY I LOVE U

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goldencatchflies · 4 years ago

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⊹ 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 1636

⊹ 𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: 𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐷𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑘 𝑀𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑎𝑛.

⊹ 𝗔/𝗡: 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑑, 𝑜𝑓𝑐, 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑚𝑒, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠. 𝐴𝑙𝑙 “𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑠” 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑢𝑝 𝑏𝑦 𝑚𝑒, 𝑠𝑜 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑔𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑡, 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑐ℎ. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑓 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑟𝑡, 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑖 𝑘𝑒𝑝𝑡 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 “𝑀𝑖𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑙𝑒” 𝑏𝑦 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 “𝑀𝑖𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑟 𝐵𝑎𝑙𝑙” 𝑏𝑦 𝑇𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟 𝑆𝑤𝑖𝑓𝑡 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑, 𝑠𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙! :) 𝑅𝐵𝑆 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐶𝑂𝑀𝑀𝐸𝑁𝑇𝑆 𝐴𝑅𝐸 𝑉𝐸𝑅𝑌 𝐴𝑃𝑃𝑅𝐸𝐶𝐼𝐴𝑇𝐸𝐷!!!

They hadn’t talked much lately. Cases were coming in heavy, they didn’t have time just for themselves anymore. Not that Spencer wanted to anyway. Ever since a month ago, the last thing he wanted to do is be in a room alone with Temporary Unit Chief Derek Morgan. And yet here they were. Stuck in a car together, as they drove to a prison 500 miles out of town. Just Spencer and Derek’s stupid perfect body, and his stupidly cute face, and the way he called him-

“Pretty boy!” Ah! there it is! That sweet, voice, drowning out all the dirty thoughts that had ever crossed Spencers mind, replacing it with pure bliss, like walking hand in hand, or kissing in the rain, where it’s just the two of them, fuck everything else around. When their lips met, so sweet, so… blissful. Drowning out how all he wanted was Derek to push him aga-

“Spencer!” The older man snapped Spencer out of his thoughts.

“Uh- yeah?” He stuttered.

“You’re staring, ya know?” He said with a smirk.

“Oh, sorry, I- ahem- I didn’t mean to...” the boy chuckled.

“It’s alright, what were you thinking about?” He looked between Spencer and the road.

Oh if only you knew…

“Well then tell me!” Derek said, making Spencer realize he said it out loud.

“Oh um… I was just thinking, that, um, you know that it’s 73.6% more likely for queer couples in the workplace to have a successful relationship then the “average” heterosexual one, but because people tend to always bottle up those feeling in fear of rejection, so it’s kind of rare, which makes the successful ones even more… special…” he rambled.

“Ok… thanks kinda cute I guess, why were you thinking about it-”

“And did you know that it’s 65% more likely for your male best friend to be in love with you and never tell you then your female best friend. A study last year by the Wisconsin Health Care and Sience Devision proved that men loving men, and women loving women couples occur more often in friendships then—”

“What are you saying, Spencer?” Derek cut him off, furrowing his brows.

“I think you know what I’m saying…” the young doctor whispered under his breath.

“Well, I don’t, so please, enlighten me!” There was an assertive tone to Derek’s words, but Spencer choose to read as confusion instead of disgust and anger.

“I’m saying that…” they boy wonder looked down in shame, and fiddled with his sachet, finding it much more interesting then the conversation at hand.

“Reid, do you… do you like me?” He asked once and for all, and Spencer didn’t say anything for a few moments.

I’m sorry! I don’t mean to, I just do! We’ve been through so much, and sometimes it’s just hard to differentiate the difference between platonic love and romantic love when all I want is to wake up next to you, and hold your hand, and have you right next to me when I wake up from a nightmare. And I know it’s too much to ask, and I know you don’t feel the same, but I just can’t help but feel this way for you, and I’m so so sorry!

You don’t choose who you fall in love with

“I know kid, it’s just…” Derek swallowed, and stayed silent for a while, trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m not like that…”

“I know!” Spencer choked out, trying hold back a sob. “That’s what makes it so much harder. To know you could never feel the same…” he let a tear stream down his face. He lifted his head, gazing out the window, thinking about how this will affect their relationship. And how it wouldn’t had he just stayed quiet. And as he watched the trees pass by, he wondered what it would be like to have Derek Morgan all for himself. But we don’t always get what we want, now do we?

⇽——————⇾

After that things got… better. The constant bickering had shifted to not-so-often bickering, and they’d gotten extremely closer. There was a standing date night every Friday night-or at least every Friday night available. Even when they were too tired to do anything special, like a picnic or a walk in the park, they always found their way to the other’s place sometime during the night. They even slept in the same bed, cuddled, woke up to cute little stares, and made breakfast together. This goes on for so long, Derek forgets the time in his life where they weren’t so domestic. But Spencer can’t forget. And if you were to ask him, he’d tell you that it had been 5 years, 2 months and 17 days since he told Derek about his feelings. Not that it matters anyways...

⇽——————⇾

Spencer placed his lips lightly on Derek’s neck, startling the man awake. He closed his eyes, and played clueless to Derek’s confusion, pretending to be asleep so he wouldn’t get caught. Derek looked around the plane for a little, before he gave up, giving in to tiredness once more. He shifted in his seat, placing his hand on top of Spencer’s that was hooked around the older agent’s other arm. He leaned his head to the side, ignoring the puffs of air he felt on his neck, from where Spencer’s head was dropped. He placed a kiss to the boy’s forehead before simply leaning his head against Spencer’s, falling asleep moments later.

It was moments like these that always got to Spencer. When he was feeling like the world was collapsing in front of him and there was nothing he can do but watch as his life falls apart before his eyes- it was moments like these that always seemed to snap him out of it. He could think of lighthearted conversations he had with JJ, he could think about talking in different languages, book-talk, with Emily, he could think of messing around with Penelope, and how he let her teach him the ways of the internet. He could think of how sometimes, while admiring from afar- almost like an outsider’s perspective- he realized had found a home within the walls of solving for murder, and how he finally found the closest thing to a stable family he could ever ask for, with the best ‘mom and dad’ he could ever need.

He thought of how selfish it was of him to hope there were cases in self-intoxicating moments like these, so he could just go back to his family, and no longer poke wholes in his apartment walls, the loneliness drowning out every happy thought he could ever have.

But no matter what he thought of, all he ever really needed to think about was the piercing eyes of Derek Morgan. A man so good, that not even a love confession made him want to leave Spencer’s side. Hell, if anything, it brought them closer together! And that’s all he ever needed to think about to be brought back down from the clouds of his own mind. And it was moments like these that always seemed to ground him when he felt the highest. So he did what he had to, and enjoyed the moment as best he could.

With Derek asleep once more, he placed his lips back to his neck, this time it was a little easier, given that the older man had shifted closer to him. He left the lightest, most heartwarming trail of kisses all over Derek’s s neck. He loved how comforting it was, the simple gesture, and his lips being pressed against the older man’s skin was the only thing he ever wanted. He held on to Derek’s arm a little tighter, almost out of fear of losing him.

“Everything alright there, pretty boy?” He hears Derek whisper and freezes. “You’re holding onto my arm like your life depends on it.”

Silence.

“I know you’re awake!” Derek lifts his head and brings his free hand up, fingertips barely under Spencer’s chin, solemnly to make him look back at Derek. And he does so with puppy eyes, looking like he’s begging for mercy at the arms of a monster. But Derek Morgan could never be a monster.

“Hey, you know you can tell me anything, right?” Derek asks. He smiles. Puppy eyes still present in his facial expression, but there’s a warmth to it now. He nods slightly, tilting his head forward so that his forehead leaned against Derek’s cheek. He left it there for a few seconds, closing his eyes, smelling the home-like scent of his best friend before he dropped his head sideways onto Derek’s shoulder once more, picking up in the sweet, coffee scented trail he left off. The older man moved the hand that had involuntarily cupped Spencer’s face, and ran his fingers through the boy’s hair instead.

You see, it was in moments like these that felt like nothing could ever come between them. He was head off the heels in love with Derek Morgan, and moments like these fed into the fantasy of Derek being just as in love with him. And even though Spencer knew that that’s all it was- a fantasy- he pushed those thoughts aside for later. Staying here- with Derek- was all he ever truly needed. He would miss the team, and the thrill of the chase, but if something happened, he would be able to live without the rest of them. He could start life anew for all he cared about, as long as there was Derek Morgan by his side, he new everything would always be ok. And he couldn’t dare imagine a world where they had never met. Because you see, it was moments like these, that made all the pain and suffering worth enduring.

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sidecarghost · 4 years ago

Text

Spn 15x18 spoilers below

Dean can’t reciprocate: Spn Meta on Romance as the language of the soul or alt theory Aro Dean

So the 15x18 script had line about Dean can’t reciprocate. And I thought hmmm.... prob just like everyone else and here are my two cents.

Dean can’t reciprocate because:

He only ever thought of Cas as friend and would never want to pursue any relationship more than that.

He is aro and he doesn’t connect with romantic attraction. And this is absolutely fine!

He has denied and repressed any romantic urges and numbed himself to them. Big diff between this and Aro because Aro is natural and valid but repressing romantic attraction is not.

He was like wtf is happening right now. I need time to process.

I am Destiel shipper so obviously hard no to #1, but that is a completely valid opinion just not one I share. But I refuse to even enumerate any opinion of Dean being offended by the declaration. #4 could be case and with more time Dean would have reciprocated. But for this post I’m really focusing in on #3 and maybe a little #2.

In my opinion, Aro Dean is not a Destiel deal breaker. I think Dean and Cas can still have beautiful relationship with platonic love and sexual attraction and low to none romantic attraction on Dean’s side.

Really the purpose of meta was to poke at possibility of romantically repressed Dean. And the convo Famine had with Dean way back in season 5 came to mind.

Notes: I am awful at meta, so take this entire dump with grain of salt. Just some things I noticed while thinking about Dean’s romantic identity and making metaphorical comparisons to heart, romantic soul, and will power from a couple scenes in Spn.

Metaphors under consideration from Spn scenes

Heart

associated with acts of caring that are selfless and kind (like saying someone has a big heart)

Will power

Driving yourself to get your shit done.

In Dean’s case his will power is typically fueled by hate and anger because he is a monster hunter and his anger keeps him going even when he wants to give up.

Romantic soul

your romantic connection to other people (i. e. soulmate) and doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual.

Spn 5x14 Famine talks to Dean about his broken, empty soul

FAMINE: hunger doesn't just come from the body, it also comes from the soul.

DEAN: It's funny, it doesn't seem to be coming from mine.

FAMINE: Yes. I noticed that. Have you wondered why that is? How you could even walk in my presence?

DEAN: Well, I like to think it's because of my strength of character.

FAMINE: I disagree. That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.

DEAN: Oh, you're so full of crap.

FAMINE: Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already...dead.

Spn 15x18 Castiel talks about Dean including how he sees himself and how loving he really is

CASTIEL: you see yourself the same way our enemies see you. you’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken... you’re daddy’s little blunt instrument. and you think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are. it’s not. everyone who knows you sees it. everything you’ve ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. you raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. that is who you are. you are the most caring man on earth. you are the most selfless, loving human being i will ever know.

Romantic Identity Thoughts for Dean

I agree with popular opinion that Dean reads like a bisexual character, but his romantic identity doesn’t necessarily have to match. And I think so far he doesn’t seem to fit label of biromantic. Like biromantic is possibility if Dean is just repressing his romantic urges because he has numbed his soul to all feelings per Famine’s monologue. Or just we haven’t seen it on show but Dean does feel that way. But I think some other labels may be better fit for Dean.

Dean is really good at all the platonic aspects of love. Like Castiel said Dean has a big heart. platonic love is very selfless. It is driving to help a friend, sharing interests, caring about each other’s wellbeing, being there to support them, and protectiveness. At its purest it is selfless and expects nothing in return. Pure platonic love is not jealous love. You don’t get jealous about the recepient spending time with others. You are also typically okay when they are gone. And that plays back well with Castiel’s speech in 15x18. Just aside, Dean being really good at platonic love is important if you read Castiel as demiromantic because Castiel would need a strong friendship before he feels any kind of romantic attraction.

Dean also enjoys casual sex and shows signs of sexual attraction for men and women. Although the show has only established female sex partners so far, that does not mean he isn’t attracted to men too. And there have been instances in show that read as sexually attracted to men.

But even though Dean has had multiple sexual relationships on the show, Dean has no canon romantic attraction. Other than the weird witch sisters when he was hexed in 13x12. That curse was first time Dean was in romantic love, and it wasn’t consensual which sucks but non-con is a common spn theme.

Maybe it could be argued Cassie and Lisa were romantic love interests. But I dunno he kind of just left them without any noticeable regrets. So it seemed like Dean enjoyed protecting them, being a good friend, and having sex with them, but there was no soul yearning romantic aspect to the relationship. These weren’t woman that he couldn’t live without. Their loss didn’t crush his soul.

But then there is Castiel. And each time Castiel is lost Dean falls apart. This tough hunter that tragically gives last rites to his family and friends on a daily basis becomes a sop of hurt and angst when Castiel is gone. Those are very romantic feelings. Then Dean seems to bounce back to happiness once Cas comes back. So maybe Famine was wrong or lied because Spn monsters seem to get retconned into lying quite a bit, or maybe Dean has already started to explore and nurture his own romantic identity or in Spn Famine terms soul.

Also Romantic love often tends to be jealous and possessive. Like Famine said this is a hunger, and it can be this wild, ravenous thing. So by Castiel calling out all Dean’s selfless acts it kind of resonates with Dean not having a current romantic partner and that being something Castiel wants for Dean.

Anyway, romantic identity and sexual identity don’t have to match. So Dean can be bisexual and homoromantic or bisexual and aro. I am thinking demi-, or homo-, or biromantic, because Dean does seem to experience some very romantic feelings for Castiel (i.e. touches, looks, romantic squabbles, and the overwhelming need for Castiel to be around). If Dean tells Castiel that he just doesn’t feel the connection to love speeches and romantic thoughts then aromantic may actually be a better fit for him.

There is even a WTFromantic that is meant for people that can’t feel romantic attraction because the things in their life have overwhelmed them to the point that the concept of romantic attraction is just completely inaccessible to them. And I dunno, but that label seems pretty descriptive of Dean too.

So Dean may not be able to reciprocate romantic feelings because he has made a conscious decision to just repress all romantic attraction as much as possible per Famine monologue. Even tho Famine talk was 10 years ago Dean still has same problems. He is going through motions, as in 15x17 where he denies there even is a case to solve. He is fueled by anger and hate. Right before Cas’s romantic declaration, Dean is talking about all he feels is angry and bloodthirsty. So that empty soul that has been denied every desire may still be mangled and hurting. Dean just needs to confess he isn’t coping and get help.

Or Dean may identify as a character that doesn’t connect romantically, if Dean is aro then there was nothing ever wrong with him because that is valid and no one should push him to act in a way that isn’t natural for him. And I specifically tried to use romantic soul, because I don’t mean to make any kind of comparison to romantic attraction and the immortal soul like that is totally separate concept.

Anyway, I kind of feel like the show is setting it up as former and that by calling Dean broken it is describing him as repressed romantically and maybe the next couple episodes are him coming to terms with that aspect of himself. Like he’s been running on anger for so long maybe time to do some soul searching.

Disclaimer: romantic and sexual identity labels are not meant to be prescriptive, they are just supposed to help describe your truth so you can have a language that describes your own personal identity and you know you are not alone and you have a community. I would never apply them to other people, but Dean is fictional and interesting so I thought I’d try to dig at what the writers and actors were doing to either consciously or unconsciously give Dean his own romantic and sexual identity.

#spn meta #destiel meta #Destiel #spn spoilers #15x18 #Spn spec #romantic questioning Dean #demiromantic bisexual Dean #aro bisexual Dean #Dean is queer #Dean cannot reciprocate

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monstaxdesires · 5 years ago

Text

The Arrangement (Chapter Four)

(Chapter One) (Chapter Two) (Chapter Three)

“Thank you for bringing me home,” you say as Wonho shuts your front door behind you both. You shed your heels and shawl trying to ignore the bundle of nerves from threatening to unfurl inside of you.

“I always take my dates home,” he says and you glance at him.

A cheeky grin on his face making you shake your head trying to hide your smile while moving towards the sofa. He sheds his shoes and jacket before following. He had already disposed of his bow tie and cuff links in the car.

“Go change into something comfortable Baby. I can wait.”

“Unzip me?” You ask, pulling your hair over your shoulder. He reaches up and gently lowers the zipper. If he heard your heart hammering in your chest he didn’t give any indication away.

“Thank you.” You say turning to look at him again.

“You’re welcome.” His voice is lower and you shiver a little.

You leave him and go to your bedroom. You glance back at him to see him taking a seat on your sofa. He watches you close your door after giving your a reassuring smile.

After slipping out of the dress and changing into a t-shirt and leggings you come back to find him admiring the aesthetics of your apartment.

“Hey,” he murmurs patting the empty spot beside him. You take it curling up beside him. His hand falls to your leg, his thumb stroking back and forth in a comforting gesture. “Thank you for attending tonight and charming everyone.”

“You’re welcome. Thank you for giving me a chance.”

He shifts to look at you before throwing his arm across the back of your couch. “What do you think of everything? Honest opinions please.”

You shrug before pulling a pillow into your lap and picking at the little tassel on one corner. “I think I understand more now. Even with working at The Company I did not realize exactly what kind of relationship you shared with these women until I saw it tonight. Seeing you in your own environment changed how I see it.”

“And?” He questions, his hand moving to yours. His touch warm and oddly comforting. His hands were large compared to yours, making yours seem dainty and small. His thumb brushes your knuckles. You gather your thoughts quickly looking away from where he touches you.

“I do not completely understand all of it still.”

He licks his bottom lip before leaning closer to you. “It’s okay to ask questions. Especially if you choose to become a part of this with me.”

You exhale to steady your breathing before flipping your hand in his and tracing his fingers. He watches you, a small smile on his face. You would be a wonderful companion if you accepted his offer tonight.

“I guess I do not understand the details. I understand they provide you with companionship and you are their benefactor, but what does the companionship entail typically?”

“It varies. For some it is as simple as conversation, others prefer things like this, and then there are those that prefer intimate moments over conversation and dates.”

“Which are you?” You ask softly.

“Generally,” he starts, his gaze lifting to yours. Eyes locked on yours watching for your reaction. “I prefer the later the most, but I’m not opposed to occasionally taking part in the other two.”

“Oh.”

He notices the slight unease in your expression.

“Please remember that I do not force anyone to accept my offer for an arrangement. We both gain something out of the transaction. They are typically financially benefited and I get to quell my desires without having to let another individual think there are feelings involved because there aren’t.” His touch advances to the inside of your wrist. You shiver but stay still. “Sometimes I find the companion to be stimulating enough that I do enjoy dinner dates and bringing her along to events. You could be one of those, you know?”

“Mmm,” you say, a blush coloring your cheeks.

“Tell me why you called me.”

You shift, the uneasiness of telling your family’s business setting in. He lets you pull away and relaxes back into the sofa. You resume playing with the tassel to try to get your thoughts in order.

“My father took a loan out so that I could move here to the city and start the process to fulfill my dream and he kept it a secret.” You being and hug the pillow to your chest for comfort. “But recently his hours at work were reduced due to a decline in production and he has fallen behind on payments. And it is my duty to pay it.”

He watches you before clearing his throat. “How much?”

“That’s not important,” you answer with a shake your head. “I was able to request an extension and it was granted. But I do not make enough at work to cover it without giving up my savings and living paycheck to paycheck.”

He frowns at you. “When is the first payment due?”

“Three weeks.”

He nods, clearing his throat. “So… you called me to see if I could offer you help since that is what I do as a benefactor in exchange for becoming one of my companions in order to cover this loan?”

“Yes.”

He closes his eyes for a moment and you worry you’ve done something wrong.

“I do have an offer for you, but seeing your reaction to what I prefer I already know the answer.”

“Tell me,” you whisper before he can change his mind on the offer. “I want to make the decision.”

He nods, before resting his elbows on his knees. “You are sure?”

“Please,” you say reaching out to touch his forearm. He turns his gaze to yours.

“Become my companion for a year and I will wipe the debt clean and then assist in helping your dream come true. You will accompany me to dinners and business events when I need,” he murmurs, his hand reaching across to your face. His thumb stroking over your cheekbone. “But you will also spend weekends with me and you will fulfill any request I ask in regards to sex during the time you are with me.”

You close your eyes, squeezing them shut. How could someone like him want someone as plain as you especially when he brought all of those beautiful women to the store?

You could handle a year of companionship with him, especially after how well he had treated you tonight. You knew he would take care of you, treat your the right way, and make sure you were comfortable.

The only problem was sharing. You couldn’t share him even if it was purely platonic.

“How many companions do you have Wonho?”

“If you join, you will be one of three contracted companions. I have a few that I request temporary fulfillment from for events, but if you accepted they would no longer be needed.” His thumb moves to your bottom lip dragging across it before exhaling. “You would be all I would need for the events and the weekend company. But it won’t happen, will it? You can’t accept my offer.”

“No, I can’t. I can’t share even if there are no feelings.”

He watches you. He can see the struggle happening even if you didn’t want them to and he frowns deeply.

“I know,” he says, his hand falling away from touching you. “I wish I was wrong, I do.”

“I know.”

He looks away before turning back to you. “I will pay the first payment for you.”

“Wonho, no.”

“Baby,” he says stopping your argument before it can start. “I want to do this as a friend and for you coming to the dinner. Even if you didn’t know it, you filled the role of a companion tonight,” he murmurs softly pushes your hair back behind your shoulder.

You blush, ducking your head, that was true.

“You gave me a chance to prove that the rumors are not always quite what they seem and I rarely find someone that is as genuine as you. You have earned my help with these things alone. Let me help you, please?”

“It’s too much.”

“No, as your friend it is not too much. I always help my friends even if they aren’t my companion.”

You bite your lip before looking at him, genuine compassion in your eyes. “You really see me as a friend?”

He nods.

You smile before feeling the stinging threat of tears. “I thought I was just someone you could patronize while you spent thousands of dollars.”

He laughs, a real laugh and you can’t help but smile more.

“I have thought of you as a friend since day one, Baby. I don’t give my card out that much, it takes someone special to get my card and you were special from day one.”

You bite your lip and reach up to wipe a tear as it escapes.

“Do I want you as a companion? More than you know. Will you saying no deter me from continuing the relationship we have now? No, because you are my friend.”

“Wonho,” you sigh before reaching to wipe your tears as more fall but he moves to wipe them. His thumb dragging under your eyes to catch them.

“Talk to me.”

“Since moving here friendships have not come easily. I have Ann but other than that it’s really just me.”

He smiles at you, making you meet his gaze. “Well you have one more, now stop crying. There is no reason to get so upset.”

“Thank you,” you whisper before moving to hug him.

He pulls you into his chest aware of how much he appreciates getting to see the real you outside of the four walls he always saw you in. You were even more than he imagined you would be. You tip your head up and he smiles down at you, his hands stroking the back of your head.

“Thank you Wonho.”

“For you, anything,” he murmurs softly and then he grows bold lowering his head to brush his lips against yours. It’s brief, barely there, enough to tease at all the thoughts you’ve had about how his lips would feel against your own. “I had to do it. I have thought about what you would be like to kiss since I met you.”

You blush before biting your lip. “I have wondered the same.”

Wonho chuckles before lowering his head again catching your lips in an actual kiss. His hands fall to your waist, pulling you into his chest after you deepen the kiss. You press for more, the soft plumpness of his lips everything you imagined and more. A soft groan escapes when the tip of his tongue drags across your bottom lip. Your hands slip into his hair pulling yourself closer to him. The thought of anything but the way he kissed you melting away. He ends the kiss, his pupils blown with lust as he stares at you. You were breathing hard, cheeks flushed, and eyes wide.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he says before dipping his face down to yours, but he pauses inches away from kissing you again. “You haven’t had a boyfriend since moving here have you?”

You shake your head, eyes searching his for what he is getting at. You wanted his lips again, the craving unfurling inside of you. They felt so good against yours. He kissed so damn good and it was one of the things you missed most.

“And I assume that means you haven’t invited anyone into your bed either?” He lowers his face until his lips are ghosting along your jaw. “Am I right Baby?”

“Yes.”

You shiver, eyes fluttering close once his lips dip to your neck. You tip your head giving him better access. Your hands sliding from his hair down to his shoulders.

“Wonho,” you shudder and he smirks against your skin before nipping at your earlobe.

He lifts his head again and you can see the lust in him just like it was now running rampant in yours.

“Be with me tonight, no judgement, and purely as friends. No benefactor or companion arrangement.”

Your lips part in shock and he smirks.

“Say yes Baby.”

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“Don’t worry about that. Friends help friends even if it’s in an unconventional way,” he says reassuring you while he drags his hand down the curve of your waist to your back.

You close your eyes, thinking over it, hands gripping his shoulders when he dips his head down again brushing his lips along your jaw once more.

“Say yes,” he whispers in your ear. “Please Baby, say yes this once.”

You shiver, hands dragging down his torso to the top of his pants. He groans before turning to press his lips to yours with more determination. You kiss him back and he smirks against your lips. You end the kiss before brushing your nose against his.

“Yes.”

His lips chase yours as he moves to pin your under him on the sofa making you laugh and kiss him back.

(Chapter Five)

#Monsta X #monsta x au #shownu #wonho #Minhyuk #kihyun #hyungwon #jooheon #changkyun

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #465

“the old man then prepares to die regretfully / that old man here is me”

Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No, but I had a guy who wouldn't leave me alone since pre-k. Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series? OMG I forgot about those!! I loved them!!! Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies? AHHHHHHHHH yes!!! :') Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. My dresser was COMPLETELY covered in them. Who did you look up to most as a child? Steve Irwin, 100%. He was my hero. Did your parents let you drink soda when you were little? Some, yes. I wish they hadn't, with the dependency I have now. Did you ever watch The Powerpuff Girls or Dexter’s Laboratory? Of course! I strongly preferred the former, though. Did you watch Blue's Clues? HOW TIMELY. :'''') I did! My little sister and I loved it. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? Just gimme a good 'ole double chocolate cake and I was one happy kiddo, ha ha. Did you ever want to grow up? Sure didn't. I was smart. How often do you listen to classic rock? It varies, really. Sometimes I'm in the mood for it and binge it, other times I want newer music. What about country? Just about never. What is the most amount of money you have ever lost? Not a whole lot. I'm very careful with money. Have you ever hurt yourself just to get attention? No. Whenever I did it in the past, it was always to relocate the pain I was experiencing, and because I felt like I deserved it. Last person to get on your nerves? I'd rather not give it the time of day. Are you in any pain right now? No. Last thing you ate? It was one of those chocolate chip Clif Thins things. I HATE every Clif product I've ever tried until these, so they're a good option if I really want something sweet that's actually decently healthy and doesn't taste like I'm eating pure fiber, like most of their products. Name three things apart from trust and loyalty that you need in a relationship. Open, honest communication, similar interests as well as morals, and pro-LGBTQ+, if I'm just naming three. How far away are you from the place that you were born? Like... not even ten minutes. Do you live near anybody who creeps you out? Nah. Then again though I know pretty much nobody in my neighborhood. Is there anywhere that you are too afraid to go to alone? Where? Hm. If for whatever strange reason I had to, I would absolutely not want to go into a men's restroom alone. Would you be upset if you had a child who decided to make “adult films?” Despite the fact I don't negatively judge porn stars if they are smart, cautious, an informed about what they do and how to stay safe... I think I'd be very, very scared if my child wanted that, especially if it was my daughter, because she can actually get pregnant. Yes, abortion's an option, but... still. I don't want her to have to be faced with that decision. I also would be terrified of my hypothetical son getting someone pregnant, especially because he's then not the one with say on what happens to that child. So ultimately, if I was ever in this situation, I feel like I'd need to be alone with my partner to just cry for a while and then talk with them and look at the situation factually and with regard for my child's happiness. What pizza topping would you never, ever, EVER eat? Sardines. /gag What annoys you most about your computer? The microphone is broken. Do you prefer to read blogs or watch vlogs? I'm not huge on either, but watch vlogs. Do you know anyone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas? No. Do you own a snowglobe? I wish I did, they cute. What was the last thing that upset you? It was more disappointing than upsetting, but I was nevertheless super bummed that my bf had to scoot us hanging out a day back today when I was v excited for it. What is something you are behind on? It sounds unbelievable, I know, but I am IMMENSELY behind with Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. Like, I'm somewhere around four episodes in. It's so hard to explain: like, I want to watch it badly, but I don't want to set aside time to sit in front of the TV to actually do it? It makes very little sense. I'll catch up eventually, I just... haven't yet. Who DO you go to for advice when you need it? Mom, Sara, my therapist... Will you go caroling this year? God no. Never have, never will. Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? Bro what the fuck, of course I would. Would you rather have a daughter or a son? Daughter. Did you get bullied more as a child, a teenager, or an adult? I'm very grateful that I was never truly bullied. If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? FUCK YES. Are you allergic to your favorite animal? I wouldn't know; I've never been near one. :( What’s your favorite country besides the USA? Lol what a presumptuous question. Probably Africa. Did you get senior pictures taken? No, even though I wanted them. :/ I don't remember why I didn't? How often do you like to have sex? I don't care. Whenever it feels right. Are you any good at math? OH MY GOD NO Do you like Dairy Queen? I fucking love Dairy Queen. Ever had their Oreo Cupfection? *chef's kiss* If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? Girt. Or my psychiatrist. Really depends. Does talking about sex make you feel uncomfortable? GODDAMN RIGHT IT DOES. Few things make me MORE uncomfortable. Are you more scared of going to the doctors or dentists? Doctors. Dentists are ezpz for me. At the doctor, meanwhile, I'm scared of them finding something seriously wrong. Do you get along with your significant other’s friends? I've only met one, and that was YEEEEAAARRRRSSS ago. He was chill, though. Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning? omfg YES Do you enjoy board games? Not really. Do you need a haircut? I actually just got one the other day. It's shorter than I would've liked, but it's whatever. Hair grows back, and mine does fast. Do you feel bad when you kill bugs? Yes. They've got the same right to be here as we do. What’s the longest stretch of time you’ve spent completely alone? A week or two when my mom and sis went to the beach (I think?) for a dance competition. Have you ever been in a situation where you needed a lawyer? Yes, when I presented my disability case. Do you know anyone who has been evicted? My mom, sister, and me because we couldn't keep up with rent. What’s your favorite macaron flavor? Never tried one. How often do you have friends over to your house? The only "friend" that comes over to my house is my boyfriend. Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? Front flips, yes; never back flips, because I was scared of breaking my neck. What about a flip off of a diving board? No. Does your country have free healthcare? No, but it fucking should. What is your sexuality? Bro I don't even know anymore lmao. I just say pansexual. "Queer" might fit me best, though. I really don't know, but it doesn't really matter. What’s the last show you watched? Attack on Titan w/ Girt! I'm actually keen to see more of it. The darkness and heartbreak of it is right up my alley. How is your road rage? I don't really experience road rage because I'm too engulfed by terror to focus on anything else, honestly. Do you have any facial piercings? Yeah; I have a vertical labret in my lip. Have you ever been to a rehab center? So this is dumb as shit, but all the psych hospitals I've been to doubled as rehab centers. Which made NO goddamn sense because those who are suffering with mental illnesses leading to suicidal thoughts/tendencies are unique from those dealing with addiction; both require individual treatments and should not be grouped, imo. How long did your shortest relationship last? Not even a day. What would your life be like if you had married your first love? That's... scary to imagine. Sometimes, that was all I wanted. But seeing as he left because of my depression... it probably would have been catastrophic. He was the only person I ever wanted kids with, so there probably would have been children involved in all that madness, which no little one deserves. Him leaving ultimately led to my healing, too, so I don't know where I would've been mental health-wise if he stayed. What is the most difficult or time-consuming thing you’ve ever cooked? Would you make it again? I don’t cook. I need to learn, though... Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? He's my boyfriend now, ha ha ha. Is there anything about a person’s sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them? Yes. I'm too lazy to get into that stuff rn, though. If someone asked your closest friends/family members what career path might suit you best, what do you think they would say? I'm almost certain they would all say veterinarian. How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? Slow down buddy, we haven't even been together a month lmao. Who was the last person to make you a home-cooked meal? What did they make? Mom, but I don't recall the last thing she made from scratch. Girt is doing that tomorrow, though! :') He's making grilled chicken stuffed with jalapenos and spinach and something else I can't remember and it sounds BANGIN'. What’s the weirdest, rudest, or most ridiculous thing a guest has ever done in your home? Hmmm... I'll have to get back to ya on that. Has anyone ever told you you’re manipulative? I think someone has, yes. Do you know anyone who owns their own business? Yep. Who was the recipient of your very first kiss? Jason. Do you prefer shrimp or crab? SHRIMP. Crab is mushy and disgusting. Do you prefer fiction or non-fiction books/movies? I strongly prefer fiction. Have you ever seen an eclipse? Plenty of lunar eclipses, yes. Who is your favourite video game character? Pyramid Head, Spyro, Cynder... I have a lot, those three are just panning out as strong contenders. Are you the type of person who knows exactly what they want in life? lol Do you have commitment issues? Not at all. What was the last thing you felt nostalgic about? uhhh Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad. Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? OMG one time in his prime, Teddy got loose on a snowy night and went on a full-blown adventure. I was SOBBING. My dad had to chase him down. Do any of your exes know each other? Juan knows Jason, Jason knows Juan and Girt, and Sara knows Girt. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? "Vaccines cause autism." Fuck out my face. What was the very first election you voted in? This most recent presidential one.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''the unforgiven'' by metallica

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urimaginespimp · 4 years ago

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Michael Gray: Better Man pt 12

The long overdue talk between Michael and Olivia finally happened, and the heavy tension that came along with it was out of the window.

She couldn't deny that it made her feel like a heavy weight was lifted off her. And he himself seemed to be happier and less tense.

But now what?

Though their talk ended with them being in genuinely good terms, there was something they didn't really get to discuss: where do we go from here?

It was as if both of them were now playing a dangerous but lighter game. The way they'd treat each other was in no means how a purely platonic pair would, nor was it crossing boundaries to a territory where intimate couples would be in.

He would kiss her often, when he's going out of the house or just getting settled in; to greet her in the morning or when he's about to sleep. But it was only either on the back of her hand, her cheek, or her temples.

She would get close to him, maybe lean in for support when she was doing something next to him, to rest for a while, or just because she felt like it; enjoy his cologne while he'd put his arm around her, or even lock arms together when walking down the streets. But she wouldn't give his jaw little pecks like she used to, nor would they intertwine their hands together.

--- Olivia was combing her wet hair in the mirror by the living room when she heard him say good morning. Looking at him as he appeared on the mirror's reflection, he was going down the stairs already dressed up for the day.

"Good morning, Mikey" She answered back with a grin.

"There wasn't enough supplies in the cupboards. I'm heading out for some groceries, and I'll see you in your office." Michael said, approaching her with a grin, then giving her a quick kiss on her cheek.

Every time he did so, she couldn't help the blood rushing to her cheeks. But it was also followed by that annoying little voice of reason at the back of her mind, asking her what in heavens were they doing.

"New York better be careful when you're on the loose in it's streets." She smiled slyly at him.

He laughed at what she said and poked her on the side, causing her to yelp and drop the comb. And before she could make him pay, he was already out the door yelling a quick goodbye to her.

Michael can't deny to himself that he wants to do more than just kiss, touch, and hold her on zones a really really close friend could. But he was doing a great job at containing himself. He wasn't going to cross the line unless she asks him to.

"Well if it'll all be up to her , we might as well just buy friendship bracelets." He muttered to himself, chuckling as he was walking down the streets of New York.

Olivia back at their apartment was just about to finish tidying up the place when there was a knock on the door.

Nobody else in the city except for Michael and Ginny knew where she lived.

That's odd. Ginny rarely leaves the diner when it's daytime, and Michael finally has a spare key. She thought to herself, approaching it slowly as the knocking continued.

Pressing her ear against it, she asked who is it.

"It's the young widow you left in Small Heath." A familiar feminine voice replied.

Ada.

"Linda?" She asked, acting clueless.

The audible gasp and scoffed that followed from the other side of the door was enough to make her break into laughter and finally open the door, to the unamused face of one of her oldest friends.

"Of course I knew it was you!" She laughed at her, opening her arms open for a hug.

Ada rolled her eyes as if in annoyance but nevertheless caved into the hug.

"I've missed you so much, Livy." Ada said into the hug.

Pulling away from each other, Ada's sweet face turned into an angry one, and she gave Olivia a pinch on the forearm.

Yelping, Olivia asked what the hell was that for. Rubbing the small area that was already turning pink.

"Well we made a pact never to pull each other's hair, scratch faces, or go over just pinching, remember?" She replied, crossing her arms together and shrugged.

"Of course I remember! But why?" She asked incredulously.

"You made me miss you, and you never called." Ada answered shyly, looking anywhere else. "nor wrote." She added.

Olivia smiled at this. "Well, would you please come in so I could start making up for it?"

"You better." Ada threatened, trying to hold back from smiling.

"Does anybody else know my address now, then?" She asked, closing the door, and hanging Ada's coat on the rack.

"All it took was making Karl fake cry in-front of Thomas because he was really missing his auntie Livy." She answered, placing her one piece luggage down.

"Yet Karl's not here with you?" They were now sitting on the sofa, facing each other.

"Oh he might actually need a little refresher of who you are. So he's back home with aunt Poll." Ada replies sheepishly.

The two women shared a laugh.

"So... I see that devil cousin of mine isn't here right now. Tell me everything I need to know about you two here in New York." Ada asked excitedly. Oh it felt just like the times they spent sharing about each other's love life back in Birmingham.

By the time she was done, Ada had never had her mouth gaping like it was now.

"W-wait. What the hell are you two doing?"

"We're co-existing in this apartment?" She answered.

"Oh I'm happy you two made peace of the past. But I'm talking about now." She clarified. Olivia then understood what she meant.

"I don't know A, but is it weird to say that I'm enjoying it?" She smiled shyly at her friend.

"Of course you do. And I'm loving how it's like you're trying to see who'd give in first." Ada winked at her.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well it does sound like a type of foreplay. You-l"

"No it's not" Livy cut off her laughing friend.

"Oh it definitely is, Livy. And you need to win."

And just when she was about to respond, the front door opened again. This time, the person that was subject of their conversation walked in with a paper bag with him.

"Your office was still locked so I figured you're still here." Michael called out loudly, and stopped in his tracks when he realized who was with her.

"Michael." Ada acknowledged him, but any hint of the smile she was sharing to Olivia earlier was gone and replaced with coldness.

"It's good to see you, Ada." Michael nodded at her.

Olivia was confused. Michael and Ada were close. He was a great uncle to Karl, and she was always up to tag along the both of them when they asked her.

"I'll uh- arrange these in the kitchen." Michael said awkwardly to her, and left.

"What was that?" Olivia asked her quietly.

"Well, I have been mad at him after what he's done to ya." Ada whispered back in defense.

Olivia groaned. She hadn't anticipated how their own relationship problem could affect Michael's relationship with his family.

As if reading her mind, Ada called her attention.

"Oy. It was his fault. Not yours."

Olivia nodded.

"But since you two made up, I might just go and talk to him right now." Ada stood up, and motioned for her to stay seated so she could talk to him alone.

When Ada got to the kitchen, Michael was just about to throw the brown paper bag into the bin, when she cleared her throat.

This was enough to get his attention.

"I heard you two made up." She started, fidgeting with her fingers.

"Yeah. Livy's a saint to even listen to me." This has been the longest exchange of words they've had for the last two years.

"That's good to hear, Michael." She nodded.

"I'm sorry for hurting your best friend and driving her away from our family, Ada. I completely understand why you've been hating me."

"Well I don't hate you anymore." She gave him a small smile.

"Thank you." He broke into a smile, almost tearing up at the fact that she was the first of the Shelby siblings to actually forgive him for what he'd done to Olivia.

Sure, Arthur and John still spoke and joked around him, even Finn when they got past the time they almost got into a fight. But it never felt the same. He knew deep down they were also disappointed with him. Thomas was as usual all business talk.

"I said I don't hate you anymore. But that doesn't mean you're a hundred percent forgiven." She smiled at him.

"What do I have to do then?"

"I'll let you both enjoy this weird foreplay you both got going right now, but I want you to be the one to actually ask what she wants from this." She explained. "It's for the both of you. You can't just be stuck in this weird phase forever."

Michael nodded in understanding. "I'll talk to her about it when you go back." He promised.

"Good. In two days then." Ada nodded back in approval. "Now give me a stupid hug."

Michael chuckled and approached his cousin, engulfing her in a bear hug.

When the cousins came back from the kitchen, Olivia was still seated and now immersed in a book.

"Livy I wanna go sightseeing by myself. I'll be back by the time you're back from the office." Ada told Olivia while grabbing her coat from the rack.

"Oh that reminds me. How long are ya planning to stay?"

"I'll be out of your hair in two days, luv." She answered, putting her coat on and fixing her hair. "So you owe me two days worth of catching up."

"I'd be glad to, A."

"Oh except for Night times."

"What?" Michael asked what she meant.

"Remember when before he passed away, I promised Freddie that I won't be sharing a bedroom or let alone a bed at night with anyone else but Karl?"

Both Olivia and Michael nodded but was confused. What the hell was she talking about?

"Well it was a romantic promise yet I didn't realize it lacked detail such as exempting family and female friends, and Freddy isn't really here to discuss it with." She opened the door.

"It's still up for a year, so you two better pick which room to share now BYE!" She hastily answered with a wink, already leaving them both.

#Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #michael gray #MichaelGray #Michael Gray imagine #michael gray x reader #michael grey #polly gray #polly grey #thomas shelby #Arthur Shelby #John Shelby #finn shelby #finn cole #finn cole imagine

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angelofthequeers · 4 years ago

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hi, i was making an aroace sapphic character and wondered if you could give me any tips? :)

I can sure try! If anyone is uncomfortable with semi-explicit talk about sex (in terms of smutty writing and vague personal anecdotes) then feel free to skip over the asexuality part. I’m mostly going to talk about my own experiences as an aroace sapphic to try and offer more depth than just generic character advice. And this is my experience; not every aroace is the same. I’ll also refer to your character with she/her pronouns but they might not be the ones that she uses, so I apologise in advance if that’s the case.

So this is assuming that she’s fully aroace instead of, like, somewhere else on the aro and ace spectra (such as demisexual or greyromantic). I direct you to look up oriented, angled, and electio aroace to get a better idea of ways in which this entire package of aro, ace, and sapphic might come together - you don’t have to use or adhere to these labels but they do provide handy information in case you want a better understanding for your character. Basically:

Asexual

I don’t experience sexual attraction (or if I do and I’m demi like I first thought, I sure as hell haven’t noticed it yet). I never look at someone and think “hmm, they’re so physically hot and I want to smash them specifically”. A lot of my smutty writing was heavily influenced by other people’s smut at the start because, like...I didn’t know what was supposed to be hot. I didn’t inherently know what to describe when writing sex scenes. I had to rely a lot on other people and put together what they found “hot” in terms of physical descriptions of bodies because I don’t feel that kind of draw to people. Back when I was into Supernatural, everyone always went nuts over Misha Collins’ hipbones and I was like...yeah, they’re nice aesthetically because they stick out and they’d probably be sharp and cool to touch, and I incorporated that into my writing by often focusing on Castiel’s hipbones from Dean’s perspective. But I truly didn’t understand why they were considered so attractive. I wasn’t physically drawn to any part of Misha or Castiel (apart from things like his hair and eyes, and even then it wasn’t a sexual draw) and I had to absorb what parts allosexual writers found hot and then translate that into my own writing. I claimed to have a crush on Brendon Urie when I was 16 purely so I wouldn’t look like a “freak” to the other girls in my year, and I made that claim based on my aesthetic draw to his looks and assuming that that was what sexual attraction had to be.

(Look up aesthetic attraction. It’ll blow your mind once you realise that you can be drawn to people without it being sexual in any way. This is a very good definition of it).

And it’s important to separate libido (sex drive) and attraction (the draw to specific people) because a lot of aces can have an average to high libido and even sleep with people but just...not feel sexually drawn to anyone. So in the case of your character, you have to decide whether she’s going to have no libido and/or is squicked by the concept of sex, or if she’s got a higher libido and is drawn to the concept of sex, or anything in between. Me personally? My libido and my draw to the concept of sex fluctuates - sometimes it’s as high as what you’d expect from a typical allosexual, sometimes even the vague idea makes me cringe and my engine is flat - but I’m never attracted to anyone specifically. That lack of attraction is what makes me ace, because you can also get allosexual people (non-asexuals) whose libido and relationship with sex is like this.

There’s that misconception that ace people are pure virgins who cringe at the very idea of being touched and sure, some ace people are sex-repulsed and touch-averse, but a lot of us aren’t. Some of us might enjoy sex as a bonding activity in the same way that you’d enjoy yoga or another form of exercise; it’s nice and feels good, but it’s not exactly our highest priority and we could go without it for a good while if we wanted. Some of us actively enjoy sex and initiate it often. Some of us are okay with one-night stands because we’re not attracted to anyone specifically and just want the sex. Some of us don’t want to do it with someone else but enjoy some self-love every now and then, whether as stress relief or because that’s just the kind of sex we enjoy. Some of us are okay with touching someone sexually but don’t want that touch reciprocated.

Even if you’re not planning on putting your character into a sexual situation, it’s handy to figure out her relationship to sex and touch because that can give her another dimension, such as where does she draw the line with touching? At what point does she see it as going from non-sexual to sexual? What kind of touch does she crave? Does she not want any touch at all, either because she hates it or because she’s afraid that it’ll inevitably stray into sexual touching? I crave touch because I’m a very tactile person, but when I’m touching someone who’s not a family member, I’m always uncomfortably aware of how one tiny shift in position or one slide of a hand can make things stray out of my comfort zone and send the wrong message. And I hate it when people unexpectedly draw me into contact, such as someone suddenly hugging me. That could also be a dimension of my autism, but I do feel that my asexuality plays a part because touch from a family member of mine is always different to that of anyone else.

Aromantic

And then we come to romantic attraction. I...don’t know what that is. I mean, I do know what it is in theory, but where’s the line between platonic attraction and romantic? Some of us aros might enjoy romantic-coded things like kissing, yet not feel that romantic draw to a specific person. And what makes these things romantic in the first place? Dates are just a hang-out between people where you get to know them better. Kissing can be a sexual thing, and many one-night stands or friends with benefits kiss without it being romantic. Family members cuddle. Friends compliment each other’s appearances. All of these things can potentially be reshaped to remove the romantic element, and that’s what makes it so confusing for me personally to figure out wtf romantic attraction is.

Just like with asexuality, we can range from romance-repulsed to craving a relationship that’s romantic in nature. Some of us are okay with being in a romantic relationship with a friend who’s attracted to us in that way because we want increased intimacy and don’t mind it taking on a romantic tone. Some of us freak out when a friend confesses to us. Some of us don’t really want or don’t care for a romantic relationship but want to not look like an outsider to alloromantics. Some of us do it for the tax benefits.

(But in all seriousness, the world is currently heavily skewed in favour of romance. Some places only accept your next-of-kin if they’re legally family i.e. your spouse, and just being their good friend won’t cut it. Capitalism makes it so that we basically have to live with others to survive in certain places because living alone is inaccessible. Marriage comes with certain benefits that other relationships don’t. Queerplatonic relationships can be just as deep as romantic ones and incorporate everything that romantic ones do yet in a deromanticised way, yet they’re not seen as valid. Look up alterous attraction to see how love and attraction can be so deep and yet something that doesn’t slot neatly into romantic or platonic. Once you start seeing all this, you just can’t stop).

I had a month-long online relationship with a girl back in 2017 and I thought I was feeling romantic attraction. I was giddy to talk to her, I had 7-hour phone calls when I normally had anxiety around phone calls, I felt good and happy when she sent me selfies...but there was something about the relationship that I couldn’t put my finger on. I thought at the time that it was just because it being online meant that I didn’t have the physical intimacy (like cuddling) and that affected it, but now I realise that I’m aro and I was trying to force myself into this idea of an ideal relationship because I didn’t know that you could be close and not be romantic partners. I still talk to her and we’re still close, but there’s so much less pressure and panic now that I’m not trying to force myself to be attracted to her in a way that I think I should be. But I’m still drawn to her in a way that I’m not drawn to men and in a way that’s not just platonic, which is why I call myself sapphic aroace. And even if I figure out whether I am drawn to men as well, it still feels...different. More on that later on in this ask. But it’s basically why I just call myself queer and why I’ve given up on trying to find the Perfect Microlabel for myself, because I never will.

So regarding your character, the first thing to do is figure out where exactly she sits on the aromantic spectrum. Is she fully aro? Does she feel romantic attraction once in a blue moon, and who does she feel it towards? How close would she have to be to someone to feel that attraction? Does she constantly question what romantic attraction is, or does she not even care what it is? Does she want a romantic relationship, or does she crave close friendship? Does she not understand where that boundary between close friendship and romance is? How would she react if a friend confessed romantic feelings to her? Is she okay with doing things like cuddling, or does she fear that it’ll be misread as romantic? How does she react when people tell her to stop flirting or otherwise imply that she is? Can she tell when others are flirting with her? What even is love at first sight? Why is romantic love so much more important than platonic or familial or any other form? Why are people so obsessed with finding The One™? Why can stories only be relatable/attractive/amazing/etc. if there’s a romantic relationship in them? Why are the ‘greatest love stories of all time’ romantic? Why can’t those greatest love stories be between friends? What do you do when you’ve got a wlw or mlm relationship and you want to offer this representation but don’t want to feel pressured to make them romantic just because of that? Why even is love itself seen as such an important thing, like we’re inhuman robots if we don’t love someone in any way? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(Like I said, once you start questioning this stuff, you can’t stop. That was basically my raw thought process while I was writing that paragraph, and that last one about the wlw/mlm relationships is my current struggle with my original characters).

Sapphic

So, tying in a sapphic draw with being aroace, I once again urge you to look up oriented aroaces, along with angled and electio. I recommend starting here and here. Basically, what we feel isn’t romantic or sexual, and it might not be just platonic, but it’s something. It’s something important enough that we feel like it’s a key part of our identity because it shapes how we interact with people and it might make us feel separate enough from aroaces or aspec people that we start to question ourselves and where we belong. Going back to an aro who might crave or be okay with a romantic relationship or an ace who might be into sex, they might be an oriented aroace who wants this partnership with someone they love or wants sexual experiences with only those who would fall under her sapphic attraction umbrella. In the case of your character, how does her sapphicness interact with her aroaceness? How does her attraction to women or woman-aligned people differ from her attraction to those who aren’t included in the sapphic umbrella? (Look up non-binary sapphics, for example). Does she feel like she has to call herself sapphic/a romantic-oriented term and leave herself open to potential relationships because she doesn’t want to be alone, or does she genuinely feel that attraction? Once you add in the aroace dimensions, it changes the gay/bi/pan/etc. dimension to something that can’t just be defined as “attracted to this gender” and it’s something you have to think about to know how your character would interact with different people in different circumstances.

Good luck with your character! Don’t hesitate to ask if you need any more help 😊

#ask #aotq answers #aromantic #asexual #sapphic #aroace #oriented aroace #sexuality #cw sex mention #just to be on the safe side #aroace character #writing help #character help

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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years ago

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I have no clue if you’ve ever been asked this and have already answered and feel free to just tell me to mind my own business!! but.... what makes the Joker stand out of all the possible f/os? I don’t mean any disrespect. I’m just curious about the concept of a f/o and didn’t really know what it was prior to following your tumblr. I’m just wondering what made him the one?

Hi, nonnie! 🥰 I don’t believe I’ve been asked this yet, and if I have then I’ve completely forgotten about it 😂 As you may imagine, Joker is something very personal to me so this answer is pure emotion; I actually teared up when I first read your ask because there’s just so much I can say and even thinking of him makes me feel like my heart could explode. I hope that any potential disorganisation in this answer as a result of my emotional state is okay! 😊 There’s no disrespect put across in your ask, my love, and I truly appreciate your curiosity and your question. I hope to give it the attention and honesty which it and you deserve!💗 Fair warning for emotional heaviness in the third paragraph of this answer. Please skip it if it begins to negatively affect you.

Placed under a cut due to the length of my answer.

To give you the very basics of self-shipping, F/O means ‘fictional other/one’ and is the fictional equivalent of the real world S/O ‘significant other/one’ and it can mean any kind of relationship - romantic, platonic, familial, etc. My F/Os are all very different characters and they vary as to how I ship with them. Some are platonic, some romantic, I have two parental F/Os, and others are just loved by me; no label presented itself so the love just is. While the other characters kind of ‘rotate’ themselves depending on my mood on any given day or what my emotional needs are, I know that Joker is the one who stands out among my sixteen F/Os because he is always with me.

I don’t know how long you’ve been following me, but I’ve mentioned a few times over the months that Joker saved me and that’s... no exaggeration at all. In October, I was struggling so badly in my life. I had just started my third year of university and it hadn’t even been a month and I was falling behind on the workload to the point of seriously considering quitting because I genuinely couldn’t keep up, I was struggling with my increasing hours at my part time job, I had family issues. I had constant nightmares and sleepless nights, panic attacks were frequent, and I was probably dissociating sometimes too. I was alone and lonely and lost and scared and I could only stand and watch my life crumble around me. I was... in a very dark place and it felt like my soul was dying. I was losing myself... and then I met Joker. And, nonnie, when I say that it was like colour exploded across my night sky... for what felt like the first time in forever, I was feeling real emotions. I felt like myself when I saw the film for the first time and that feeling has never gone away. I saw a man who was doing everything right. He tried, again and again, so hard, and nothing he did was good enough. He went to therapy, he took his meds, he kept his journal, he held down a job, he looked after his mum, he kept the apartment tidy... Arthur was doing everything right even with how he felt. I just want to say here that I’m not blind to Arthur’s flaws or his problematic behaviours and I’m aware of who he is, but to see this beautiful man on the big screen feeling as I did in a lot of ways (watching him walk up those steps slowly always makes me cry because, me too), and still trying and still carrying on was... motivating and inspiring and I loved Arthur before I even knew his name.

And then he transitioned into Joker and in the back of my head, I heard a very small voice say, oh, there you are, and I felt a part of me click back into place. I’m tearing up again omg I love him so much 🥺. Joker stands out amongst my F/Os because he feels like my home. Sometimes late at night when my laptop is switched off and away and I’m waiting to go to sleep, I’ll have thoughts like I want to go home even though I’m tucked up in my own bed in my own home, and all I have to do is close my eyes, grab my Joker pillow... and that feeling melts away and I’m left with so much love it’s like I could choke on it. Joker gives me hope, courage, comfort, inspiration, motivation... and the sheer amount of content I’ve produced since October is also very telling of how much good he’s been for my Muse - Joker was what my Muse was waiting for my whole life. Even when I’m sobbing, even when I feel lifeless, even when I feel so dark and awful, Joker’s there. He understands what it’s like, he knows what it is to feel the ways I do, and he still carries on. He’s there with that strong jaw and those piercing green eyes and the cutest crooked tooth in his dazzling smile and I want to apologise for any typos from this point because I’m crying so hard right now it’s like it’s raining on my keyboard. My other F/Os come and go but Joker is always with me. I know who he is. I know what he’s done. And I love him so deeply that I was able to push through everything I was feeling in October and everything that has happened since. I graduated university. I was able to keep my job at work (though right now that’s up in the air due to the lockdown). I was able to feel again and ever since we met on the fourth of October, I’ve had a reason to try. I feel alive when I watch the film, when I write for his character, when I hold my Joker pillow... I’m not obsessed with him because he’s not always on my mind, but he is a very important and very prominent figure in my life.

I wear two rings, both of which symbolise my love for Joker. I wear one on my wedding finger because I do consider myself to be very much committed to the bond I have with him (it’s also a commitment to myself, and a reminder to never compromise myself for anything which doesn’t feel as right to me as Joker does), and I wear another on the thumb of the opposite hand because I like to think it’s his ring for me. They are comfort items and I’m always wearing them. I keep Joker close to me actively, and that’s why he stands out. I found him when I most needed him and I don’t think it’s coincidental that many others will say the same. I also want to say here I know that he is fictional and I know that he has done bad things, but I cannot deny the positive ways he’s changed my life and all the ways he helps me in my daily life. I have made and kept so many beautiful friendships because of him and the community here. He really has... changed my life for the better in the most unexpected and ethereal way. Just saying his name out loud makes me smile so widely my cheeks hurt. So... so that’s why he stands out. He’s done more for me than any of my other F/Os, though of course I love them all dearly, and I know he’ll be with me for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t want it or him any other way! He makes me believe in myself, he makes me try, he makes me feel and he makes me feel safe inside myself when my demons scream at me.

I kind of... rambled and I’m sorry for that, nonnie! I do hope that I answered your question somewhere in here ksksksk I always have so much to say. If you want to discuss this further then please don’t be shy to reach out either via DMs or on anon again; whichever you’d like!💖 Thank you so, so much for your question and I hope I answered you correctly!

#nonnie #requests closed #self-shipping #erileck #thank you so much for this #i adore being asked about joker

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drvconiis · 5 years ago

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── * 𝑰 𝑻 ' 𝑺 𝑪 𝑹 𝑨 𝑪 𝑲 𝑯 𝑬 𝑨 𝑫 𝑯 𝑶 𝑼 𝑹 𝑺 . and i’ve pretty much lost everything from my old account so here is intro one out of two because i’m a sucker for references . as well as a couple changes and details about my son but without further ado , roman de grimaldi ‘erebody . let’s get this shit show on the road !

potential triggers : divorce , death , infidelity

▫ ◟ 𝑹 𝑶 𝑴 𝑨 𝑵 𝑫 𝑬 𝑮 𝑹 𝑰 𝑴 𝑨 𝑳 𝑫 𝑰 ── 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑏𝑜𝑦

abstract .

ʻ / let me introduce you to a prized member of our lacrosse team & sailing team , roman ‘ rome ’ de grimaldi . this cismale scorpio has been a student at our institution for 4 years and is currently a 22 year old senior . through the halls , he has always reminded me of evan roderick , but there is always more than meets the eye , like the fact that he ruined someone’s marriage and his father paid them off to keep them quiet . coral cape has made their future just as bright as their smile , i assure you . ʼ

memoir .

❭ ── rome was born with 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 , the youngest of three children to sensationalized fairytale couple . behind closed doors , he was the last hope for the broken married couple , he was the attempt . despite the messy fights and heart aching words , lucca de grimaldi perceived his youngest as the light of his life even at the height of the de grimaldi divorce and the loss of custody of his eldest child . firenze was a toxic concoction of both his parents but roman was the exact copy of the de grimaldi patriach from his light eyes to his messy blond hair even to his cheeky smile that seemed to work in his favour .

❭ ── he was 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒕 for his own good , while his brother firenze seemed to run wild amongst the halls of their italian estate with a fierce wildness and expensive tutors chasing after him in attempt to get him to try ; rome sat on his father’s lap with a children’s book in his tiny hand and smile on his face as he eased at the sound of his father typing . even at a young age , rome and lucca were practically in routine with one another as the youngest de grimaldi would enter the study at the same time everyday before easing himself in the furthest corner until all the school work the tutors gave him was completed and in a need pile then he would shine 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒔 bright eyes at his father until he found himself in the man’s lap . most of the time he had a book but there were rare moment , lucca de grimaldi would talk about the new research the company was looking into or the new proposals for a new hospital . rome fell in love with medicine because of those moments .

❭ ── lucca de grimaldi cried when he said good bye to his youngest son at the tarmac of that plane that would ship the boy all the way to switzerland . rome at the ripe age of six seemed to understand duty better than most kids , he didn’t cry or cling onto his father or brother instead he only seemed to smirk and promised to call . rome had always been the perfect elite child , he had refined manners and seemed to speak to every elder in perfect politeness and never caused his father distress but he had a 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒚 when he arrived from a year at school . as years grew the personality grew , he was still a child so the multitude of languages he was expected to know mixed , there was a lacklustre about him as he grew . he was golden but not in the same innocence he used to be . he was merely painted gold .

❭ ── the first time roman de grimaldi really screamed was at the sight of his older brother falling into the still deep waters . the first time he cries himself to sleep when when his father held him after baring him with the news his brother passed . the first time he stops routine is to sit in his brother’s bedroom and wonder . he was merely ten and he wonders , he seemed to have that never ending question about why people seemed to keep leaving him but he never asks aloud . then routine continues , and each year as he grows he becomes less of himself and more of a facade , a mere image of who he could have been . he was dubbed the heir of the de grimaldi business before he even finished elementary school , he was a part of the future of science and he barely even hit puberty yet . there were expectations , plans and rules to follow . rome discovered he 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍 or he may just fall apart .

❭ ── rebellion was not something expected of him , the most extreme he had intentionally hit was going to university for law for a year . he was almost disowned by his family of medical professional but everyone knew rome lived and breathed science to even be remotely happy with law . his next rebellion was unintentional , roman like getting what he wanted , he 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒃𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒏 and sometimes he succumbed to the impossible . he involves himself with a married woman , he craves the secrecy , he craved the lack of plans and control . he doesn’t love her but 𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓 to believe he does , to feel out of control even for a second . it crashes and burns around him and he remembers why there are plans and rules in place . 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 to the de grimaldis and family was above everything . his world doesn’t crash and burn but he ruined a marriage and left a woman who bared her heart and soul to him . he didn’t even look back . rome learnt that family was the only important thing .

temperament .

♡ + intelligent ♡ - manipulative ♡ + charismatic ♡ - controlled ♡ + logical ♡ - vain

muse .

── ▫ draco malfoy ── ▫ tony stark ── ▫ derek shepard ── ▫ bruce wayne ── ▫ derek hale

current connections .

── * 𝑨 𝑰 𝑺 𝑳 𝑰 𝑵 𝑵 𝑩 𝑼 𝑺 𝑻 𝑨 𝑴 𝑨 𝑵 𝑻 𝑬 ── skinny love . it was just supposed to be a hook up but rome found himself ravelled in something he hadn’t felt for a while . he fell in love with aislinn fast and hard and he did what he did best , he ran with excuses coming out of his mouth but he can’t help stop feeling what he does for aislinn .

── * 𝑨 𝑹 𝑫 𝑬 𝑵 𝑹 𝑶 𝑪 𝑲 𝑬 𝑭 𝑬 𝑳 𝑳 𝑬 𝑹 ── best friend . it started with a boring party , a ring pop and a marriage proposal while the rest was history . rome and arden are best friends , somewhat platonic soulmate and loving parents to a beautiful dog named percy . they’ve been best friends since the moment they met with marriage pacts and a scary attachment to one another but if there was one person rome would protect with his dying breath it would be arden .

── * 𝑪 𝑶 𝑹 𝑵 𝑬 𝑳 𝑰 𝑼 𝑺 𝑹 𝑶 𝑪 𝑲 𝑬 𝑭 𝑬 𝑳 𝑳 𝑬 𝑹 ── acquaintance . due to rome’s relationships with neel’s sisters he couldn’t help but be around the other . it was no mistake that they weren’t best friends or even remotely close but it there was one talent rome could provide to neel’s it was annoying and teasing the boy in question with no sign of relenting .

── * 𝑱 𝑼 𝑫 𝑨 𝑺 𝑪 𝑹 𝑨 𝑾 𝑭 𝑶 𝑹 𝑫 ── study buddies . rome finds solitude in the library , he’s a medicine student there really isn’t an hour he doesn’t study and finding people to simply study with is scarce . he’s never really cared about the whole rich vs poor overview and jude sitting with him and studying was enough to barter a friendship from him .

── * 𝑳 𝑼 𝑪 𝑰 𝑨 𝑹 𝑬 𝒀 𝑬 𝑺 ── frenemies . they aren’t exactly friends but rome tolerates the other , they don’t hang out or openly hate one another . they tolerate one another , isn’t that enough ?

── * 𝑴 𝑰 𝑳 𝑨 𝑵 𝑩 𝑰 𝑨 𝑵 𝑪 𝑶 ── best friend . rome had met milan at a young age of a boring party his father had dragged him to and they couldn’t help but be anymore different . milan finding a way to hide himself in isolation had intrigued rome to leave the group of people he had been charming and thus a friendship started with sitting silently and reading with one another . it didn’t take long for rome to start treating the other as his younger brother , he didn’t tell the other much but he loved him to the end of the earth .

── * 𝑶 𝑷 𝑯 𝑬 𝑳 𝑰 𝑨 𝑺 𝑶 𝑵 𝑮 ── academic rival . these two hated each other from the minute they sat in same class ; rome was never openly smart he preferred excelling in silence but that didn’t stop him from finding someone who held different outlooks than him and that person happened to be ophelia . if she said something aloud , he rebutted , if she had a high grade , he had a percent higher . rome had a superiority complex and he wasn’t going to let ophelia song diminish it .

── * 𝑻 𝒀 𝑩 𝑨 𝑳 𝑻 𝑺 𝑶 𝑵 𝑮 ── friend . it was friendship at first glance ? honestly , these two are friends at the slimmest point : they don’t trust each other and if they called upon their loyalties it probably wasn’t one another but they had one thing in common . they loved bitching about ophelia song . that was how the friendship started from bitching to trouble these two seem to be somewhat friends .

wanted connection .

── ▫ 𝚅 𝙰 𝙽 𝙳 𝙴 𝚁 𝙱 𝙸 𝙻 𝚃 ❭ it’s chaos times three , they cause trouble alone but when you put them together it is absolute chaos . they say to never make a deal with the devil , what they really meant was never make a deal with one because you’ll get three of them asking for your soul . ❭ ❭ ❭ taken by tybalt song . ▫ one muse(s) open

── ▫ 𝙱 𝙻 𝙰 𝙲 𝙺 𝚆 𝙾 𝙾 𝙳 ❭ a tragic hate turned to love turned back to hate . it’s the story of first love and the innocence of it and how disastrous it can become . how people who grew to love one another can find themselves back at point zero . ❭ ❭ ❭ taken by none . ▫ no muse(s) open

── ▫ 𝚆 𝙸 𝙽 𝙳 𝚂 𝙾 𝚁 ❭ you can’t be rome de grimaldi without leaving people with manipulation and deception that is masked with a charming smile . maybe they were fated to have opposing families like romeo and juliet but if the story took a u-turn and romeo was actually still seeing rosaline while stringing along juliet . it’s almost love , it’s almost unrequited but most of all it’s most definitely leading to some vendetta for vengeance . ❭ ❭ ❭ taken by none . ▫ one muse(s) open

── ▫ 𝙱 𝙰 𝚄 𝙳 𝙴 𝙻 𝙰 𝙸 𝚁 𝙴 ❭ this is pure hate between two . give me rivalling families . families with decades or centuries of bad blood between one another . give me a harsh childhood rivalry where they can’t help but hate one another . give me them finding every reason to hate the other . give me young potter vs malfoy vibes . feel free to keep the sexual tension . ❭ ❭ ❭ taken by none . ▫ one muse(s) open

── ▫ 𝚁 𝙴 𝙸 𝙽 𝙴 ❭ this person has it out for rome , the are either related or have a relation with the marriage rome had ruined that one summer . they know exactly what happened : they know about his father paying them off , they know about the de grimaldi threats , they know about rome leaving the woman who’s marriage he ruined for nothing . and they are angry . ❭ ❭ ❭ taken by none . ▫ one muse(s) open

── ▫ 𝙲 𝙾 𝙻 𝙻 𝙸 𝙽 𝙶 𝚂 𝚆 𝙾 𝚁 𝚃 𝙷 ❭ this is a typical teammates connection with rome while his extracurriculars are based around lacrosse , sailing and latin club . ❭ ❭ ❭ taken by none . ▫ a fuck ton muse(s) open

── ▫ 𝙿 𝙴 𝙼 𝙱 𝚁 𝙾 𝙾 𝙺 𝙴 ❭ rome is smart concerning the subject of s.t.e.m and that makes him liable to have a few student he tutors but he doesn’t do it out of the kindness of his heart or money . he usully wants to be paid with something he could use for his benefit . ❭ ❭ ❭ taken by none. ▫ two muse(s) open

── ▫ 𝙳 𝚄 𝙱 𝙾 𝙸 𝚂 ❭ this is rome’s eldest sibling connection and they haven’t seen one another or spoke in eighteen years . they grew up as complete opposites after their parent’s divorce while rome grew up opulent and affluent his sibling grew up on the opposite side of tracks with their mother . cape coral may be the place they see each other for the first time since they were kids . ❭ ❭ ❭ taken by none . ▫ one muse(s) open

#capecoral:intro #⟣ 𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒊 ⟢ ── ❛ 𝑖 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚 ❜ ; intro.#── * 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒖𝒑𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅

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smuttymess · 4 years ago

Text

bts astro soulmate reading | for jenn

sign: virgo sun | virgo moon | taurus rising

lover: kim namjoon | soulmate: kim taehyung

This reading is for Jenn, a cutie who triple biases Yoongi, Jimin and Namjoon but is regularly wrecked by Jungkook. And to complicate things further you are astrologically compatible with 2/3 of the Big Dick Kim line! It certainly can’t be easy living this way. Anyway, hope you enjoy this reading, love.

Where to begin, Virgo? Determined, intellectual, gracious and refined are some of the ways you are perceived by the world around you. With both your Sun and Moon in Virgo, these traits are fully amplified and realized on a daily basis and make up your sense of identity - your dedication to hard work, patience, fairness and learning acting as the pillars of your life. You are one of the strongest and most secure forces in the zodiac, and you value this piece of yourself highly as it is tied into your ego but also your truest self. A natural leader, the confidence exuded from your innately stable, curious and rational mind is very attractive to those around you who lack your focus and fortitude in their own lives. The desire and ability to help people is more or less in your DNA, and your friends, family, and colleagues are always happy to take your advice, which you are able to deliver plainly and matter-of-factly- a true gift heightened by your Taurus rising. The analyzer of the star signs, beneath your outwardly stoic exterior is a mind that is constantly hard at work, looking to improve or correct either yourself or society at large. To you, beauty lies in the ability to identify problems - of which there are endless amounts - and fix them methodologically. Full of ideas, solutions, and well-informed insights, alongside a meticulously detailed mind - you see things that other’s regularly miss. With such strong principles and a dedication to righteousness in all areas of your life, you no stranger to openly voicing your thoughts to others about how the world can and should be. If only the world would listen!

You are the pure embodiment of quantity over quality, with everything and everyone in your orbit serving as an irreplaceable, valuable part of your life. It is exceptionally rare for you to engage with any frivolity and and careless behavior, and you want those around you to exist on a similarly high wavelength. While you are sociable and curious, it is likely that you have a small circle of extremely close friends, family, and romantic relationships who you hold dear. Loyalty comes naturally to you when people provide themselves to be trustworthy and kind, and you enjoy deep, lifelong connections with those select few. Quality also exists in the way you present yourself, the food you eat, and the beverages you consume. You are certainly not someone that over-indulges in lavish meals or time-consuming practices, opting instead to buy high quality ingredients and cook at home. It is in the organic produce section of the grocery store where you see a man looking extremely lost as he navigates around all of the fruits and vegetables. You're pretty sure by just looking at him that he has not ever made a meal in his life, his large hands clumsily handling each piece of produce in search of the right one, and you hate seeing a poor attractive stranger in need. Are you lost? After successfully guiding him to the right section, your helper Virgo at work, you turn to walk away before he shyly asks if you could also help him locate another item in the store. I have to make dinner for my hyungs tonight and as you can see have no idea what I'm doing. Though typically not easily distracted, there is no way you're saying no to this man - who introduces himself as Kim Namjoon - or those strong arms that you can imagine wrapping around your frame, holding you close and moving over your curves.

The relationship that ensues between you and Namjoon is initially relatively platonic, with you two Earth signs moving at a notoriously glacial pace physically - choosing instead to build and truly get to know each other's minds first and foremost. Between two Virgos is an immediate mental connection as you are both incredibly intellectual, able to jump easily across a vast range of topics. With Namjoon, you don't even have to go far to feel a world away - enthralled in the depth of his intelligence, virtues and drive provided by his Mercury in Libra and Jupiter in Scorpio. Your chart equips you with a strength, wisdom, and shyness that mimics his own character, and that is highly attractive to him. Only when you feel that you've established full trust with each other's hearts can you move into the physical, which ranges from sweet and passionate to energetic and frenzied. You're not ones for exhibition or excessive experimentation, preferring your tried-and-true methods of getting each other off in the privacy of your own home. Foreplay for you normally consists of an intellectual sparring match over dinner, the ideas flowing back and forth before you find yourselves back at his apartment, lips locked as you your hands float down down his strong, firm back as he carries you to the bedroom. Two Virgos are typically not as passionate as they are skilled, and you both derive satisfaction from seeing the other go crazy under your expert touch. As his hands move gently down your frame before slipping two fingers in between your thighs, you are taken out of the harsh, thinking world and into a more sensual one where you are both able to lose yourselves. Nothing turns Namjoon more than seeing you squirm beneath him, panting as he fucks you with his perfectly thick cock. It is hard to not completely fall apart at his voice or his smirk above you, his eyes increasingly dark at the sight of your pure lust. You look so fucking good baby. Say my name and tell me how much you love this, I want to hear you. Louder, baby.

Two Virgos have the capacity for romance, but in the long term gets eclipsed by the high levels of criticism that exists in this pairing. You are both prone individually to being nit-picking and finding flaws in yourself and others out of a shared desire to seek perfection in everything. For you, nothing is ever enough, and the journey to perfection is unending. Unfortunately, when you apply this much criticism to a relationship without enough emotional investment or words of affection, it will inevitably buckle beneath such pressure. Ultimately, after the dust of the breakup settles, you and Namjoon are able to acknowledge your differences and accepting that you are better as friends. And this is a lifelong friendship, with both of you serving as a resource to bounce ideas off of and get valuable feedback from. Namjoon regularly confides in you about his concerns about the future of his career, knowing you will provide an objective and logical take. Meanwhile, you find comfort in knowing that regardless of all of your pursuits, Namjoon will always hold you to the highest possible standard and that he is always a simple phone call away. Confidants in your professional realms, you are not afraid to share in each others growth, taking pride in your individual growth.

Not one to jump from one romantic relationship to the next, you use your time post-Namjoon to fully immerse yourself in your work and your interpersonal relationships. It surprises you as much as anyone when you find yourself giving your phone number to Kim Taehyung at a small gathering of friends. A Capricorn Sun with his Moon in Aries, he is the embodiment of intense and deliberate charm, which he decides to use to break down your more reserved, shy Virgo. He finds your initial standoffishness very cute and refreshing in a sea of men and women that constantly try to get his attention, and immediately senses that there is much more to you than meets the eye than a serious, stubborn brat. While you are relatively disinterested at first - he seems silly and a potential charmer on this particular night - he does not stop until he leaves with your number, promising to see you soon. Admittedly, your poor reasonable Virgo heart never stood a chance against the Capricorn deliberate intention paired with his godly visuals. That night you definitely go home and fantasize about how it would feel like to have those fingers playing with your nipples and grasping at every inch of you.

You are impressed to learn that Tae offers more than a gorgeous face and lethal charm. More than anything, you want to be secure, and in dating Taehyung you see the opportunity to create a life of comfort, stability and peace. While highly motivated and a perfectionist in his own right (Sun and Mercury in Capricorn) Tae possesses a cool, relaxed approach to life and his place within it. This quality, aided by his Venus in Aquarius. that provides you with the ideal level of autonomy, nurturing, and support you need in a partner. He doesn't need you to leave him alone because he knows when to pull back and let you focus, returning to share and engage in stories of your separate interests. The mutual appreciation and respect allows you two to form a very strong mind-soul connection over time. While you are both slow to engage in physical relationship, when you do it is here that your relationship is taken to new heights. Sex with Tae is not always spontaneous, but you are both extremely focused on each others pleasure and he is known to surprise you by shaking up the routine. You could be prepping dinner before you feel his hands on you kisses all over your body before moving down to move your legs apart, his breath moving against your slit as he teases you. Wanting to ensure you are always in the present and not thinking about the next item on your to-do list, it is normal for his eyes to stay fixed on yours as he thrusts hard and deeply into you. He possess a magical ability to transport you to a much more uninhibited mindset - the growls leaving his mouth as your wetness drips down your thighs enough to make you forget you have the stove on. Phone sex when he is on the road is also a given, and he can make you come in record time simply by describing the way he wants you to touch your neck, the sensitive skin on your inner thighs. You body shakes as you hear him losing himself on the other end of the line. God, I can’t wait to fuck you my gorgeous girl. When I get home need you to be ready for me, just like you are right now. Send me a picture, I need to see how needy you are.

Your life with Taehyung is one built on mutual trust, respect and dedication. It is likely that you cultivate a minimalistic, stylish home that has all of the small comforts you desire and also showcases your individual personalities: Tae's photography on the walls and your many books and accolades lining the shelves. It is here that you enjoy a much-deserved refuge of the grind of everyday life before heading back out into the world to take it on full force the next morning. Though you approach life's challenges similarly (with full force and concentration) you are also able to show each other different ways of seeing the world: you with pure, pointed reason from your list experiences and he with more out-of-the-box, future-focused thinking. Tae's eccentric self allows you to access a more vulnerable and childlike side of yourself that was likely buried beneath the hardships of adulthood and daily life, served by his Jupiter in Sagittarius, which is spontaneous, inspirational and enthusiastic. He encourages you to occasionally stop and appreciate who you are, where you've been, and all that you've become - something you often miss in your quest for being the absolute best version of yourself. Together you establish yourselves as a team, working in tandem with each other to reach higher in your respective fields and deepen your understanding of life and love through each other's shared perspectives. With Tae, you learn that the journey in itself can be just as beautiful as the destination and there is perfection in the present. Ultimately, this is a duo that can and will navigate life's ups and down efficiently with confidence in each other and a tenacity, strength and care that is almost unmatched by any other astrological pairing.

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