#I feel like a horrible doll owner
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trynadollsiesplay · 1 year ago
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Erm... my head is blank. But my dolls right joint was really sticky to move, so I just kept trying to turn it and hoping it would get the kinks out... I'm just staring at this blankly now. Anyone got tips. wtf? what do I do? 😶
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harleys1nhawaii · 4 months ago
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PROMISE
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pairing: dabi / touya todoroki x gn!reader
warnings: established relationship, bnha season 7 spoilers, fluff, little bit of angst, idk
a/n: wrote this after reading the chapter 426 shaking and crying. isn’t proof read and i don’t even wanna read this lol. i love him sm it hurts.
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“you’re silent.” his voice is low and gentle.
your gaze falls from that one exact star you were eyefucking for the past 3 minutes and focuses onto a different one. it wasn’t that you loved the star that much. your eyes just couldn’t move as you imagined your boyfriends burnt to death body over and over again. it was fucked up, the way you felt your guts twitching inside of you, the way the lump in your throat tightened your senses.
it takes quite a work and resistance for you to not turn to him and let him see the vulnerability in your eyes.
you force out a dry chuckle, the smile that couldn’t reach your eyes falling down seconds later. you didn’t have the self strength to keep it on.
“am i?”
his eyebrows furrowed as he blowed out the smoke. he always knew this day would come, it had to. and it came off easy, because you also knew it. he had to face that man, had to kill him. his father. it didn’t sound right. you would call him anything but a father.
touya didn’t really know what would be your response, nor what would your behavior be like. you were as unexpected as him, but he also had your pieces in his pockets. hell, he had all of it in his mind. he knew you better than anyone, better than even you did for sure. but your behavior turned out to be more different than anticipated.
you just fell silent. kept putting on weird acts and seemed to accept.
in reality; you didn’t, really. you just had to think about it. poisonous thoughts that’s been roaming around your mind just weren’t letting you to come up with something. you bit your tongue and let your sharp nails abuse your palms. it shouldn’t have felt this horrible.
you feel an arm wrapping around your waist and drop your gaze to the owner of it. you didn’t realize him coming closer. he shifts you onto his lap with a quick pull of your body.
“talk to me, doll. i need to know how you feel like.”his gaze burns into your eyes. you feel distressed for a reason. your body squeezes in itself and leaves you breathless. you couldn’t point out the center of the pain but you felt it. buried deep inside your skin, very close to your heart. it was a burning desire to throw hands and do something. to prevent the loss and pain. though no matter how close it felt you just couldn’t reach it.
“i feel fine.” you mutter, fingers holding the cigarette harshly this time. you put the cancer stick into your mouth and just when you’re about to blow out the smoke, he draws it and throws it down the roof you two are sitting on.
“what the hell was that?” you can’t help but snap. ha takes your hand into his. your eyes meet his’ helplessly. a stern yet calm look was plastered on his face. you can tell there’s some worry on there too, it is concealed but you can see it.
“don’t do something you might regret later.” he says just about a whisper. it is visible how your face drops and your heart skips a beat. “don’t say stupid shit.” you snarl as your eyes dart around.
“i’m offended you’d insinuate that i was tryna be mean.”
“not insinuating, just warning.”
“stop fucking talking like that.” you raise your voice once again. if doing it would help you to swallow your tears, then so be it.
“talking like what?”
“like you’re gonna die.” your voice falls silent at the end. eyes filling up with the tears that you’ve been resisting to be seen for weeks. your gaze shifting from him once again, focusing on something else.
now he’s feeling that lump down his throat too. truth be told, he always had. but what could you say to someone that has dedicated their whole life to get revenge? “don’t”? “stay with me”? you knew better than to beg him. you knew nothing could stop him, not even you. therefore, you understood. you accepted that it was bound to happen sometime. but your mind just couldn’t work the information, couldn’t get used to it.
“doll,” he croakes, his voice is uncharacteristically soft. “i’m sorry.” your eyes falls on him once again, this time it was fast, almost hastily. and for just a moment, something in his gaze shifts. his eyes avoid yours and look to the side. now you’re the one chasing his eyes, funny.
“why?” you mutter. you don’t wanna sound scared, even though you do feel like it. maybe cause you just can’t help but think hiding your feelings will make them go away. you are a pretty hopeless yet funny individual.
“for worrying you.” he falls silent for a moment after that. “i don’t want ya’ to feel like this. though i can’t do anything about it.”
“it’s okay.” you say. this time you’re not trying hard to look perfectly unaffected and fine. “i understand it, i’m sorry too.” you can feel his eyes on you back again.
“why?” he asks in confusion.
“i don’t know. about everything, i guess.” a tear drops on his collarbone as you lower your head. dabi frowns again, exhaling a long sigh. you had nothing to blame, you hadn’t even done anything.
his right arm wraps around your waist tighter as he pulls you towards him. his lips just hover above yours, noses touching. your eyes focuses on his’ once again, and at that very exact moment, your hearts feel warm and whole again. almost like no matter how hurt and deprived one would feel, no matter the struggles and the wars that were went through, there was always someone to wrap their love around that shattered heart and make it whole again.
“i promise you, i’ll crawl back to you baby.” his voice is now a whisper, other hand moving to your cheek and cupping it in his palm. “at anytime, anywhere.” your cold body melts in his warmness, your head falling on his hand. it ignites something in him, a sense of responsibility. to come back and hold you like this again, to protect you from everything that can ever hurt you.
“what if you can’t?” your voice cracks. it’s almost unable to hear, but he does.
he brings his hand up and sticks out his pinky. a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. (though, it was too heartwarming that he wouldn’t think he could do that)
the joy of blooming asters hung heavy in his chest. like the warm summer sun after the cold winter breeze. he never knew he could be capable of feeling this. and now that he tasted it, he didn’t wanna let it go. he swore on his life to keep it with him forever, not softening his grip on it for once. “the world is cruel, therefore i won’t be. not with you.”
your shaky hand rises from his shoulder and your pinky wraps his’.
“promise?” you ask. this time you feel that little spark of hope ignite somewhere deep inside your chest. you don’t wanna beg for impossible. you don’t want this hope to go on waste.
dabi usually doesn’t make promises. truth is, less than usually; he never does. but having experienced the innocence and longing of your love shattered and replaced all his senses. you were the closest thing to heaven he’d ever get. and dabi didn’t wanna go home.
he didn’t wanna set things on fire anymore. that’s all.
and he would give up forever to have you.
“i promise, doll.”
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taintandviolent · 7 months ago
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bend without breaking ; Jimmy Darling x reader
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summary and word count: 4.4K! requested by @sugarr-and-spicee. you get jealous of Maggie Esmeralda, and decide to give Jimmy a taste of his own medicine. Angst, smut and a little fluff ensues.
w a r n i n g s: contortionist!reader, unprotected sex, cunnilingus, angst, jealousy themes, rough sex, alcohol mention, clunky writing, uhhhhhhhh Jimmy being real handsy and kinda' manhandling reader a bit. maggie esmeralda hate.
a/n: written partially at work, so if it's clunky or disjointed I apologize!! divder by cafekitsune!
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full fic & taglist under cut! ↓ / ao3 link here!
It's not like you owned him or anything. It's not even like he really even cared about you outside of the scope of the general, amiable 'member of the troupe' kind of relationship. Now, of age, he flirted with you casually, like he did all the girls, but you, as delusional as it may have been, thought you had something special – because boy, oh boy, did you care about him. You were obsessed with Jimmy Darling, in all ways possible. 
You'd grown up alongside him, from the age of sixteen when you got kicked out for a plethora of reasons, and ran away to the traveling freak show that was opportunely in town. It had taken the owner, Elsa Mars, almost all day to be convinced, but when you bent over backwards, putting your head through your legs and pleaded with her upside down, a sly smile spread across her thin, aging lips.
You thought that Jimmy might’ve fancied you – that was until Maggie came along. The liar. The fraud. The insolent little brat that she was. She’d taken a liking to Jimmy, and seemed to snatch up every second he was alone – something that you used to do. He had fallen for her fortune teller act, but you certainly hadn’t. Your aunt had been a fortune teller and had possessed a true and genuine gift. This broad did nothing but spin silly little tales about misfortune and good luck, generic things that any person could identify with. 
You’d decided to test the waters one hot summer afternoon. It was before the show, and Jimmy was preoccupied setting up the cash box. With your skirt in your hand, swishing it back and forth, you strolled up to him feeling as giddy as ever. It was rare that you didn’t feel bubbly when you were around him – he had that effect on you. Before you spoke, you took in his appearance; a sheen of glistening sweat covered his bare, tanned shoulders, his caramel-coloured locks hung in a cluster on his forehead, and his dark, brown eyes swept over the cash as he counted it, arranging the tickets neatly next to the box. 
“Hey Jimmy,” you cooed. “Need any help?”
Without looking up, he replied: “Nah, doll. I’m just about finished.” 
“Well, maybe I could help you with whatever you’re doing next…” 
“If I need ya’, I’ll find ya, sweetheart.” 
“Or you could find Maggie.” 
“She’s in her trailer.” 
Your heart quivered and sunk, cracking like a delicate porcelain vase. He already knew; he’d already found her. 
“Of course she is, and of course you’d know that.” 
He grinned crookedly, exhaled out of his nose and shut the cash box, turning the key. He looked at you then, with a pointed gaze. “Now, what’s that supposed to mean? Huh?” 
Your brows rose high on your head, feigning innocence. He, of course, with all his charm and wit, saw right through it. You didn’t care. “Oh, nothing , Jimmy. Nothing at all.” 
“Sure, dollface, sure. You wouldn’t be jealous, now would ya?” 
“Of her? I’d be more jealous of a drowned rat in a sewer than I would be of Maggie.”
With that, you stomped off, your steps crunching the tall grasses that covered the field you called home for this month. Your heart was pounding, your cheeks had flushed. Feeling like a fool, you marched right to your trailer, taking great care to slam the door as hard as you could. 
You spun around, facing the door as thought he was behind it. “How dare he think I’m jealous of her ! That horrible woman, and he thinks – oooooh! ” You clenched your fists, shaking them at the door. 
It had taken you two hours to calm down. Two hours of pacing your small bedroom, fussing with your appearance and reading a magazine you’d picked up in town last week. It also took you two hours to come up with what you thought was the revenge plan of the century. 
An hour later, you found yourself at the local diner, schmoozing with a cute young man in his early twenties. You’d batted your fluffy lashes and pouted your lips and with hardly a few words, you had him wrapped around your manicured finger. He’d bought you a milkshake, which you were nursing, taking small sips in between answers.
“You’re sure you won’t run out of this diner screaming?” 
“No - no. I promise I won’t.” 
“I’m a travelling performer… I’m only here for a few more weeks. I work at the Freak Show in the field down the road.”
“What do you do?” He asked, cautiously, looking you over your body with a suddenly very critical eye. To most, you looked normal . Sure, you were a little longer and lithe than some girls your age, but you didn’t fit the bill of a freak. That was until you bent and contorted your body into the most mystifying, inappropriate positions that they had ever seen a woman in. 
“I’m a…” you leaned in, dipping your chin to your chest, keeping your gaze sternly locked on his. “A… contortionist.” 
“A what?” 
Oh, what a dumb bunny . He was cute, you’d give him that; his pretty, sea-blue eyes, pink lips and dirty blonde hair that had been perfectly styled. The clincher was that he had two very nice hands – strong, and veiny. The truth of the matter was that you preferred Jimmy Darling’s hands – but he didn’t need to know that. To him, this would be a threat, and if everything went according to plan, Jimmy would be red with anger, furiously jealous and looking as though he must bust a vein. 
“I’m flexible. Very flexible.” 
His eyes lit up. It was a predictable response, and one you’d seen before. Men were grotesque, they liked the idea of bending a woman into unique positions like a jointed doll, just to see her body in a fresh, new way. They liked the thought of fucking you while you were bent over backwards, folded up neatly. 
The waitress brought your food; you’d only ordered a side of fries, which you dipped into the remainder of your shake. A habit that you’d learned from Amazon Eve – it was easily the most delicious combo you’d ever tasted. As you two ate, the conversation drifted naturally. You laid on the charm heavy. Every other response contained a compliment, telling him how handsome he was, how you’d never seen a boy as cute, so on and so forth. He fell for it hook, line and sinker. And you. 
Afterwards, he paid and held the door open for you. As any gentleman should, he wasn’t earning any points with you. Only one man could… 
“Can I come see your show?” He asked, playing idly with your fingers.
You reached over and yanked one of the flyers from the nearby telephone pole, folded it in fours, and pressed your lips to the paper, leaving a crimson mark. You tucked it in the man’s shirt pocket. 
“See you tonight. Tell ‘em that I sent you. Front row seats.” 
He stammered out an agreement, looking flustered. With a wink, you were sauntering back down the sidewalk. The great big sun, orange and warm, was making its heavy, tired descent back into the horizon, and you quickened your pace. The last thing you needed was Elsa being upset at your disappearance.
As you made your way back to the field, you hummed the song that was playing in the diner and skipped. There was something to be said about the butterflies in your stomach, though you couldn’t discern whether or not they were for the fact that you were going to see that man in the audience. You suspected not. Jimmy Darling would be jealous and that was the thought that sent you. 
Later that night, as the calliope played, your hands glided up over the curves of your thighs, and over your sides, gracefully, like a burlesque performer teasing a reveal. With one movement, you brought your leg up to your head, pulling it tight. A few oooh’s and chortling chuckles from men in the audience dotted the room. With floaty, delicate movements, you slid down into the splits, never losing your bright smile in the process. More pleased reactions and some applause. You crossed the stage in backbends, working the crowd as they cheered for you. 
At the final backbend, you sunk to your stomach, laying on the floor. You were just nearly at the edge of the stage, and directly in front of you was your diner boy. His eyes were locked on you, enchanted, enrapt and obsessed like a dog staring at a fresh cut of sirloin. With a come-hither smile, you reached out and swept your hand along his jawline before tapping his chin with a single finger. You sucked in a deep breath and brought your legs forward, curving your spine around until your feet were planted on either side of your face. 
The crowd gasped in horror, and little girls shielded their eyes, expecting to hear the dull crack of your spine as it snapped in two. But Diner Boy was fascinated, and still staring at you. He was looking at your body, the unnatural curve of it, and the way that you’d brought your cunt somehow closer to his face. As the seconds passed, he looked more and more like a dog to you, hungry and slobbering. 
You smiled, scanning the crowd again. Your eyes drifted to the corner of the stage, where Jimmy stood against one of the support poles, arms crossed. At least, despite Maggie, he’d retained his habit of watching every performance you did – though this one, he didn’t look as delighted with. You could tell by the way the corners of his mouth were pointed down in an angry frown, his eyes narrowing at the little things you did to entice Diner Boy. You grinned at Jimmy, acknowledging him and tapped the toes of your shoes childishly against the stage before unfolding your body again. 
The rest of your show finished without a hitch, and Diner Boy played his part very well. He took in every moment, and at one point, when you reached your hand out to him, he interlaced his fingers with yours. A nice touch. When you looked back to where Jimmy was, he was gone. You smiled inwardly, prideful and gratified by the way your devious little plan had gone.
As soon as you went off-stage, Jimmy grabbed you by your arm, gripping your bicep hard. Almost too hard. You winced. “What was that about?” 
“What? I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about.” Casually, you yanked your arm from his grip and began to polish your nails on the fabric of your shirt. 
“Cut it out! You know what. Who was the guy in the audience? You sure were payin’ him a lot of attention.” 
His words, though loud, were a little slurred, his breath smelled of alcohol; you could tell that he'd taken a few gulps of liquid confidence before approaching you. You didn't mind; your father used to say that the truth came out with booze. You hoped that would remain true with Jimmy and he'd spill his guts to you.
“Just someone I met at the diner, Jimmy. Why are you getting so heated over him? You flirt with girls in the audience all the time.” 
“It’s part of the act, doll! You know I have to act a certain way, I can’t –” 
“Can’t what? Stand to love me?” 
Jimmy stopped abruptly, his mouth hanging slack. His chest rose and fell with hot, angry breaths.
"Just because I can bend without breaking doesn't mean my heart can, Jimmy."
“Dollface, wait.” 
“No.” 
You pushed yourself through the flaps of the tent, storming off towards your trailer. Jimmy followed close behind, calling your name.
“Doll, c’mon, hang on a minute!” 
“No, Jimmy. Maybe Maggie can hang on a minute .” 
“Hey!” He bellowed, catching your arm again. You pressed your back against your trailer’s door, again, yanking it away from him and crossing them tightly across your chest. Your heart thudded against your ribs, deeply delighted at the fact that he was chasing you, pursuing you with an overbearing jealousy. 
“What.” 
“Can we just…” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “...talk about this a second?” 
“Sure.” You snapped. 
Jimmy’s black coffee eyes scanned over you, searching your face for some semblance of softness. He found nothing but a tightly pressed line of lips and a cold gaze.  
“What’s your problem, huh? I can’t flirt with other guys?” you finally asked, your stern voice shattering the awkward silence. 
He shook his head, almost sheepishly. “I don’t like seein’ it. I know they don’t care about you.”
“And you do?” 
Jimmy swallowed again, forcing the lump in his throat down. For the past several years, you’d been a constant in his life, by his side, and taking all his showman flirtations in stride. You’d never once fired back at him, and he thought that it was because you could care less about what he did or who he flirted with. Against the voices in his head, Jimmy pacified the anger in his gut by leaning forward to crush his lips against your red ones, tasting the sweetness of whatever gum you’d been chewing before the show. 
He lingered there a moment before his conjoined digits made their way up your waist, gripping it softly. He waited for you to soften, to ease into his kiss, but you didn’t. You stood your ground, arms still pressed against your breasts. You intentionally filled your mind with thoughts of Maggie Esmeralda and how close he’d gotten with her. You thought of all the times that he flirted with girls in the audience, damn near kissing them with how far he’d lean off stage during his song. 
“Baby, please…” You blinked. His low, smooth voice pulled you out of your hateful thoughts.
With a heavy sigh, you murmured, “I want to hear you say it, Jimmy.” 
“Say what?” 
“You know what.” 
The muscles in his jaw fluttered as he clenched them, grinding his teeth hard. Jimmy spent his whole life being put on the spot, but it never got any easier. Especially not in front of you – the girl he’d fallen hardest for. He inhaled, puffing his chest out and mustering up all the confidence he had. 
“I don’t like seein’ you flirt with other guys… ‘cause… I wish it was me.” 
“Who’s jealous now, huh?”
“I am.” He looked at your lips, then back up to your eyes. A cricket started off somewhere in the field, and your attention flitted off towards it, only to have Jimmy’s large, warm hand bring you back. “Hey.” 
He kissed you again, his strong tongue darting out to taste you again, his plush lips closing around your bottom lip to suck it gently. This time, an undulating warmth erupted deep in your core. You couldn’t help but melt into him and your arms relinquished their position, dropping heavily to your sides. Your fingers reach forward to claw at his shirt, just above the waistline of his jeans and instead latch onto his belt loops, pulling him closer at the hips.
You tilted your head to deepen the kiss, swirling your tongue with his. Mingled with his personal taste, he tasted like warm honey and the liquor you smelled on his breath earlier. Not always admirable, it was something that you knew him to dabble in when his mother wasn’t looking. More often than not, he’d sneak some booze, saying it calmed his nerves before and after shows. You didn’t mind; in fact, you wondered what it would be like to have a drunk Jimmy, sloppy and unable to control himself around you. 
“I’ve waited a long time for this…” you broke the kiss, breathlessly whispering over his lips.
“Me too, honey. Me too.”  
Keeping your eyes on him, you blindly felt behind your back, where the handle of your trailer was digging into your soft flesh. You yanked it open, and took a fistful of Jimmy Darling’s shirt, tugging him inside. 
It was like someone had fired a gun and Jimmy was a racehorse. He charged at you, his big, conjoined fingers wrapping tightly around your hips on either side, kneading the flesh like dough. He kissed you again, hot and in a hurry, like you only had a few minutes to do whatever it was you were going to do. With your hands on his pectoral muscles, you pushed him off gently, just enough to get a look at his face. 
He, being mere centimeters from your breasts, wasn’t looking at your face. His attention was clearly elsewhere. A low, rumbling groan vibrated through his throat as he craned forward to kiss your skin. 
“Jimmy, baby, slow down…” 
Between feverish kisses to your neck and chest, he muttered: “I can’t, I’m sorry.” 
He had you where he wanted you, after so long, and he wasn’t going to let that slip through his fingers this time. Jimmy muscled you backwards, urging you towards the small hallway where your bedroom was. He was all hard-working muscle. Having done set-up for so many years  had lined his body in bulky strength, the kind of strength that you only get from hard labour. So, when he started guiding you backwards, you could do little to protest. 
“Jimmy, my god, what’s the rush?” 
“I want you bad, baby… bad.” As proof, he urged his hips against yours; the hot rigidness of his erection pressing into your hip bone. You let out a surprised mewl, and wrapped your arms around his warm neck, fingers slipping into his short-cut hair. His lips found yours again as the backs of your thighs hit the mattress. He kissed once and playfully, shoved you down. You bounced twice on the bed, looking up at him with a heavy, wanton gaze. 
“I’m all yours, Jimmy Darling. All yours.” 
Jimmy didn’t say anything, just sunk to his knees, his hands finding the stretchy hem of your sequined shorts. He pulled them down in a swift jerk, before moving right back up to your waist. Those striped tights were next. He rolled them down off your thighs and over your knees; which fell apart, exposing the already-damp satin of your underwear. You propped yourself up on your elbows, watching him as he worked.
He was in too much of a hurry to bother taking off your shirt, instead just gathering the fabric and pushing it up over your breasts, letting them bounce free. He may have been raised a gentleman, but he wasn't immune to the tantalizing sight of some tits -- especially when they belonged to a girl he'd been lusting over for months now. 
"God damn, baby. Look at those." 
You couldn't help but blush, feeling your cheeks grow hot at his compliments. You bowed your head, casting your eyes to the floor. You were so stern before -- what had happened? Silly question. You knew; he was undressing you in your trailer, all that confidence had melted away underneath his strong, fused fingers.
“Jimmy, promise you won’t flirt with Maggie anymore…” 
He scoffed. “She’s nothin’ to me, honey. Gals like her are a dime a dozen.” He pressed his lips to your kneecaps before kissing his way up your thighs.  You whimpered, your head lolling heavily back between your shoulders. You thought about revealing that she wasn’t a real fortune teller, but Jimmy’s mouth neared your cunt, and the thought disintegrated. 
“...my god…” you breathed, your lids drifting shut. Jimmy nuzzled his face and lips against your soft mound, the hard bridge of his nose teasing at your soaked slit.
“You like that, baby?” 
You nodded, again, whimpering. He pressed his fingers slowly against your soft mound, over the fabric. Feeling the puddle that had settled into your underwear made Jimmy clench his teeth, hissing loud through them. With one hand, Jimmy maneuvered your underwear down your thighs. Once they were off, he tossed them carelessly behind him – you’d find them a day later in your kitchen sink. Now exposed, you gazed at him sheepishly, for the first time since he'd started kissing you. His eyes fixated on the wetness that glistened in the low-light of the trailer.
"I had no idea..." he said, the pad of his thumb sweeping over your clit with just enough pressure to make you writhe in lustful agony, aching desperately. 
"No idea what?" You breathed.
"To be honest with you, that you liked me that much..." 
You leaned forward, taking his chin into the palm of your hand. You stroked it gently, falling deep into his eyes. "Jimmy... I've wanted you since before I could have you." 
You looked on at his face in admiration as the thoughts played out, the realization of what you meant dawning on him. He grinned his bright, lopsided grin and his large hands slid up your legs, caressing the outside of your thighs thoughtfully.
"Baaaby," he hummed before dipping his head down. You gasped, your lids drifting shut in ecstasy as you felt his breath rush over you -- you knew what was coming; one deep sweep of his tongue along the length of your cunt, between your folds to taste you, to savour your silken wetness. Burying his nose in your pussy, Jimmy alternated between using the strong tip of his tongue to flick at your sensitive spots and lapping at your clit with a flattened, thick tongue. Adventurous and hungry, he'd venture further down to get a mouthful of your sweet, heady wetness and would murmur how good you tasted into your cunt -- the vibrations of his voice made you shiver every time. 
After a few minutes of this, you felt the inner core of your legs begin to shake every time he made contact with your clit, your tummy tightening in a warning clench. You reached forward, gripping his head on either side, yanking him softly off your cunt.
To your relief, he straightened up, chin glistening with your fluids. He swallowed you down, growling in satisfaction; the intimacy of tasting your lover's ejaculate was unparalleled, and when your eyes finally opened, they met Jimmy's lust blown ones. He was ready, and so were you. 
"Fuck me," you said, nodding. 
Jimmy made quick work of undressing, pulling his briefs down over his ass cheeks before he lined his red-tipped cock up with your leaking slit, bumping into the sensitive bundle of nerves a few times before he stuck you. He didn't ease in, just bottomed out and you let out a pleasurable yowl, tossing your head back at the sensation of being so full as his thick cock violated you, slipping against your slick walls. He found a rhythm, thrusting his cock up into you as deep as he could. You clenched hard around him, pulling a groan from deep within his chest. He pulled out, looking down at your sopping wet and now reddened cunt.
"'Hoh' my god, baby... do that again." 
He gripped your hips hard, pulling you roughly onto his cock. You clenched again, swallowing him into you. The tip disappeared inside you, hot and leaking, and he held himself there, completely engrossed in the sensations. You clenched again, pulling him further in and Jimmy's head fell back, his hips bucking hard out of instinct. You both found a hurried rhythm, grinding and rolling against each other with voracious desire. 
As he thrust into you, Jimmy watched you intently, holding onto you tight, his thumbs working your hips, kneading them in small circles. He looked starved for your image, the way that his eyes climbed from your hips to your breasts to your face and back down again. You let out a particularly ecstasy-ridden moan, and Jimmy dug his fingers into your hips. 
Rocked back and forth with the strength of his thrusts, you look down, watching as his thick cock pumped in and out of you. Your breasts bounced with each thrust, and Jimmy's dark eyes followed them as they moved.   
"Huuuh... I'm gonna' lose it, baby... you feel so god damned good..."
"Give it to me," you coax, moaning deeply. His thrusts get faster, more feverish and uneven, and before you can say another word, his expression contorted, brows pulling together in pleasured agony. You felt the warmth of his cum as he filled you up with a few spurts, but kept pumping until it leaked out the sides, groaning deeply. Your orgasm raced towards you quickly after that, pulsing around him in a hungry grip. 
With a heavy sigh, Jimmy pulled his softening cock from your cunt and flopped heavily onto the bed onto his back. Your chest rose and fell with every laboured breath, sweat streaming from every pore. Both of you, collapsed in lust, saying nothing, just enjoying the warm scent of sex that lingered in the air. Soon, your sappy gaze drifted from the ceiling to Jimmy. His fawn coloured hair clung to his forehead in sweaty clumps, his cheeks flushed. You'd done that. Made him jealous until he fucked you silly. You smiled inwardly, and adjusted your head on the small mattress. 
"Turn the fan on, Jimmy, it's hot." 
Jimmy leaned over, flipping the small metal switch. The fan rattled to life, blades spinning and washing your sweaty skin with a soft breeze of cooler air. He leaned back, enjoying the change in temperature. 
"I meant what I said, dollface. Maggie's nothin' to me now that we're uh..." 
You pressed your lips against his softly, smiling into the kiss. "We're what?" 
"Y'know..." 
"Fucking each other like teenagers?" 
"More than that, baby. More than that."
You weren't sure what that meant yet, but you weren't about to question a bit of it. You paused, furrowing your brows. You realized that Diner Boy had probably expected to see you after the show, but you hadn't shown. You hadn't even thought about him, far too busy with Jimmy's lips to even remember he was there.
"What?" Jimmy asked, concerned.
"I wonder if he was waiting for me..."
"I hope he was, and I hope he figured out real quick that you weren't comin'."
You kissed him again, inhaling his scent. Jimmy hummed into your lips, pulling you atop of him, his face bright with adoration.
He stayed in your trailer that night, and you two fucked each other, explored each other's bodies repeatedly. When the morning sun peeked through your lacy curtains and your lids peeled apart, a yawn ripping through your mouth... you wondered if Maggie Esmeralda saw that coming.
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thisgirlnamedblusy · 3 months ago
Note
Hello! I hope you are having a lovely week! I always enjoy seeing your writings! (Lowkey I have notifs on for whenever you post)
But I was wondering if you could do a Donna X reader (gp or not if fine with me) where reader is very shy and timid but is very feral and lewd when they do make love? The first time it really throws Donna off but she ends up really loving this side of the reader
Yessss!!!! Thank you for your kind words, and for your request!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!! :)))
Contradiction
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader
Warnings: G!P Donna, smut, Minors DNI
Word count: 5,969
Summary: You were supposed to be shy, were you?
N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours :))) I love you all!!!
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The evening light illuminated the old hall in a cozy, almost romantic way. Your erratic steps interrupted the constant calm of the place that seemed abandoned, and, as of just a few weeks ago, would never be.
You were born as one more girl, one more pawn in the sinister games of that village. You were not worthy of being a maiden, you didn’t have enough charisma to trade, you were a lost soul, a wandering soul that spent time looking for its place.
In solitude, you grew larger, in the crowd you shrank, that was the perverse rhythm that destiny had established for you, even if, in your deep and inevitable shyness, you hid certain aspects that never saw the light, that remained hidden under blushes, under hoarse words and embarrassed laughter.
But that boring life, condemned to ostracism by your own personality, would soon undergo a change, one that in your sleepless nights, you projected into the darkness of your own isolation.
In your life there were duties that you could not ignore, worshipping Mother Miranda, the Black Gods, was one of them. Every week you went to the same church, you saw the same faces you didn’t want to meet. People, people overwhelmed you, as did those boring and apocalyptic sermons.
But there was something, a black shadow that attracted your attention and clouded the words of the priestess. It was not a shadow, or so you thought. No.
Very close to you, just in the right place for your eyes to wander, the four Lords of the village sat, waiting, silently worshipping the words of the bird woman.
Was it the owner of the castle that caused your eyes to wander? No.
 Maybe that deformed being that lived in the swamp? No, of course not.
Maybe the sardonic smile of Lord Heisenberg was making you unable to look away? Not at all.
No, among those four Lords, silent rulers of your boring lives, stood that black shadow, that woman in mourning who seemed to be nothing but a shadow among the candles: Donna Beneviento.
The most disturbing expression of what fear was for the villagers, doll maker, a silent woman, letting out her emotions through that sinister puppet.
Day after day, you searched for that shadow, that feeling that passed through your body when you believed your eyes matched hers. There was something about her that attracted you, attracted you very much.
Fantasies of a withdrawn young woman, or so you thought, you thought that somehow, her gaze hidden under that horrible black veil, also began to search for yours.
Everything else came unexpectedly: a shy approach, a few kind words in a hoarse voice, conversations that grew longer and longer…
After several months of playing at not escaping, of not fleeing from her lavender perfume when that dark figure stood in front of you, love arose, your loneliness ended, your lips knew hers and your eyes knew that hidden beauty you already sensed.
A deformity in her face, a change in her body. None of her cowardly warnings were enough to stop you from wanting to venture into an unexpected but desired romance.
A short time later, when the visits to the old estate became longer and longer, Donna, curiously being the one who managed to take small steps, the one who fought with your shyness as well as with her own, asked you to live with her.
And there you were days after that decision, the best decision of your life.
Your walk in the dark hallways was a balm for your body's trembling. It was a game of approach before seeing her beauty again, calm, sitting on the sofa, reading a book.
“Donna,” you said in a small voice, drawing the attention of the lady in black, giving you one of her wonderful smiles.
“Hello, tesoro, where have you been?” she asked, motioning for you to sit next to her. You, noticing that your cheeks had already taken on a pinkish tone, walked slowly, avoiding getting lost in her gaze.
“I was, I was walking,” you whispered, sitting next to her, with a smile that she returned before placing a soft caress on your lips, a soft kiss that always made you smile embarrassedly.
“Mm, were you running away from Angie again?” she asked amused, stealing another quick kiss from you to which you didn't have time to react to. Shaking your head softly, you laughed again, letting her hand drag yours closer, just a little bit closer.
“Hey, I didn’t do anything!” the doll yelled, climbing onto the couch next to you. You recoiled at the puppet’s defiant stance.
If you were shy, and so was Donna, Angie was basically the opposite.
“I, I didn’t say you did anything, Angie,” you said quietly, stuttering, as you always did when you were overcome by the threat of a conversation with someone other than Donna.
“Shh, Angie, lasciala stare…” Donna murmured, pushing the doll away with a gentle flick of her wrist.
Donna was your savior. She was the only one who understood the limits of your innate shyness, well, almost all of them. Even Donna, the love of your life, the only person you were capable of loving, was unaware of some dark aspects of your personality, some that had not yet come to light.
“What...? What did you say to her?” you asked curiously, leaning a little closer to that black dress, playing with your trembling hands.
Donna laughed, looking away from the book and raising your chin with her fingers. She was always so soft, so delicate...
“I told her to leave you alone,” the lady whispered in a tender voice, capturing your lips again, causing the blush on your cheeks to be more evident.
“Oh, of course... I... I'm, I'm sorry,” you apologized, embarrassed by your clumsiness, by not understanding those melodic words that made you melt.
“Why are you sorry?” she asked, frowning and settling down on the couch, wrapping one hand around your waist, forcing your head to rest on her chest.
“I, I still can't understand you,” you admitted, closing your eyes, intoxicated by her perfume, by her soft caresses.
“Tesoro…” Donna said, laughing softly, touched by your sweetness. “Nobody asked you to understand me…”
“I, I know but… Well, you, you asked me to come to your house and… Well, I think, I think that I…” you stammered again, playing erratically with the buttons of her dress, almost without realizing it.
“(Y/N), don't worry about anything, okay?” she said, laughing tenderly again, lowering her lips to your hair. –Do you want to read with me?
You smiled and sighed in relief, embarrassed again by your shyness, by your clumsy words. Donna said she was shy but… You were the most shy one there.
“Su, sure, what are you reading?” you asked, clearing your throat and adjusting your position. Donna frowned, turning the book she was holding with an amused gesture.
“Plants from Northern Romania,” she said disinterestedly, turning a page where were hundreds of flowers.
“Oh, it’s… Interesting,” you sighed, trying to sound sincere.
From her nervous laugh and the return of her caresses to your body, you deduced that she obviously didn’t believe you.
“You little liar…” she said amused, caressing you more intensely, pulling your body so it was even closer to hers. “I know it’s boring.”
“Oh, I’m, I’m sorry,” you apologized again, focusing your gaze on the book and not on her amused expression.
“Stop apologizing, (Y/N), it was just a joke,” the lady in black whispered in a more serious tone. You nodded, closing your eyes, trying to breathe more calmly. You were a complete mess.
“I'm sorr…” you said, thinking coldly and falling silent before finishing the sentence under her mockingly raised eyebrow. “I didn't say anything.”
Donna laughed and shook her head, turning another page of the book, sighing, you supposed in a romantic way, as her hand went from your back to your hair, caressing it while she focused again on that boring essay.
Her soft hands caressing your skin, your neck, unintentionally awakened that part of you, that part hidden among blushes, among stammers and shy smiles. The part that constantly contradicted itself, that made you feel things you didn't think possible for someone like you.
You gasped, feeling an almost overwhelming pleasure in her soft caresses, in the intoxicating sensation of her company, of her beauty so impossibly close to you.
“Does it make you uncomfortable, tesoro?” she asked, noticing how you subtly squirmed every time her fingers ran over your skin, every time the heat of her body was close to yours.
“Oh, no, no, it's just that…” you said, moving away from those hot caresses, preventing them from adding fuel to the dark desires of your subconscious. “It's just that you’re tickling me.”
“Am I?” Donna asked, amused, pulling her hand away at the sight of your uncomfortable smile, which really wasn't that uncomfortable. “You're very sensitive, (Y/N).”
“Yes, I am,” you said, nodding, standing a bit away, biting your lip to suppress the things that were going through your head, those things you wanted to do for a long time.
“You're nervous, why?” she asked, closing the book and turning to face the blush on your cheeks again.
“No, I... Simply, I'm just, I'm cold,” you lied, pretending to shiver.
Donna nodded with a frown, looking at the lit fireplace, at that fire that crackled to calm the horrible cold of that place. You closed your eyes again at your clumsy answer.
“Something's worrying you,” she said, without looking at you, sighing confused and a bit nervous. “Please, tell me.”
“No, it's nothing, it's just that... Well, you're right, that, that book is a bit... Boring,” you said, laughing shyly, bringing out your best version of a lying young girl, one that you used only in cases of emergency, to hide your true thoughts, those that you didn't want to see the light.
“Okay,” the lady in black sighed suspiciously, patting her knees and walking towards one of the many bookshelves in that house. “Come, (Y/N).”
You, who already believed were free of that interrogation, obeyed slowly, with your gaze fixed on the wooden floor, until her hand extended towards yours in a loving manner.
“Choose the one you want,” she told you lovingly. “I'm sure you can do it better than me.”
“Mm…” you murmured, running your hands along the covers of those old books. You didn't understand most of them and there were others, others that simply weren't where they should be.
The lady in black frowned as she followed your hand wandering around the bookshelf. All the blood in your body froze, your legs trembled discreetly: she had noticed.
“Strano…” she murmured, getting a little closer to the gaps between several books. “Here, here there should be…”
“Maybe it was Angie,” you said abruptly, unintentionally showing that you were the one to blame for those gaps.
Donna looked at you with a half-smile, tilting her head comically.
“Angie?” she asked amused, shaking her head. “I don't think so. I doubt she's interested in those books.”
“Why?” you asked, with your best innocent girl face, one that you already had naturally, and could use in your defense.
“Well, it's just that… Those books are…” Donna answered, scratching the back of her neck, swallowing your absent-mindedness like a glass of water, ignoring your nervous signs. “A bit… Spicy, you know.”
“Wow,” you said with a shy smile, with your cheeks red as blood, with your hands shaking, trying to go unnoticed. “I, I didn't know you read that… Kind of books, Donna.”
She laughed a bit shy too, putting a hand on your shoulder and leaning closer to your ear.
“Why wouldn't I?” she whispered seductively.
“Well, because... Because...” you stammered, abruptly moving away from her sensual whispers, ones you already knew, that desperately asked to take the next step, although she never asked you directly.
“Sex is something natural, it's not a bad thing,” she said in a more serious tone, moving away when she saw your discomfort, closing her eye as if she had regretted her words. “Hey, I, I didn't mean...”
“I know,” you interrupted, shaking your head and gasping nervously, softly kissing her cheek to calm her nerves, and yours.
You had to run away, to avoid the conversation from going any further.
“Mm, what do you think of this one?” you said in a more natural voice, taking an old book from the shelf and handing it to the brunette, who looked at the title and then at you with a confused look.
“Il Nome della Rosa…” she read with a mocking smile. You nodded innocently, unaware of your mistake. “But, but this one is in Italian… You, you won't understand it, tesoro…”
“Oh, well, of course, I…” you murmured, nervous again, with your cheeks burning and your heart beating hard. “Well, but, but I want to learn… If it's not a bother for you, of course.”
“Of course it’s not, amore mio,” she said, coming closer to steal another kiss from you, a slower one, a comforting one.
What was the reason for that awkward moment? What evil act was hiding your nervousness? Well, it was time to explain what your mind was keeping so tightly.
Yes, you were born with a lack of charisma, with an innate lack of desire to express yourself with others, to interact with them. But, as if the Black Gods themselves had cursed you with that horrible contradiction, your thoughts were far from innocent or shy.
Sex, the ultimate expression of love between two people was always a topic that passed near you, which life's circumstances forced you to ignore. But ignorance or lack of knowledge was something you could not allow yourself.
Since you were old enough to think about such things, you became shamefully curious, listening to the little adventures of a group of young people whispering in church. Adventures that talked about making love, about that way of loving you began to be fascinated by.
Of course, you never had the chance to get out of that circle of lustful curiosity. You were still the shy and embarrassed (Y/N). But the interest increased and the conversations of those young women began to not be enough.
That passion, the heat, the heat of two naked and embracing bodies began to appear in your dreams, in the darkness of your sleepless nights.
When you met Donna you didn’t think about it, the love you were beginning to feel had clouded your senses and your own hidden thoughts. But, as time went by, you realized that the blurred images that appeared in your dreams began to take shape. It was no longer two naked, unknown bodies. It was you and Donna, immersed in a sea of ​​moans, caresses, scratches on a sweaty back.
Unfortunately, the visible part of your personality, that shyness of poor (Y/N), prevented your wishes, and surely, hers, from coming true.
She never pressured you. The few times she hinted with her kisses or soft caresses on your legs she wanted to merge with you, your nervous and scared expression had forced her to back away.
Yes, you wanted to know what it felt like to be loved like that, but at the same time you felt like you had to know more, that you had to be what Donna expected of you.
So, now, the confession: You picked up those books, those erotic stories that talked in all kinds of detail about that act of lust, the act that just thinking about it, turned your legs into soft, smooth butter.
When Donna was in her workshop and Angie didn't feel like bothering you, you immersed yourself in those stories, in those erotic phrases, in those fictional caresses that you wanted to make real. The wait was reaching an almost unbearable point, like a fight between angels and demons. One part of your conscience prevented you from acting, the other one almost forced you to do it.
Normally good won over evil, just like that same afternoon when her caresses stirred those feelings again. But that conversation, the revelation of your lascivious theft, pushed that lustful demon to make you tremble, to make the words come out of your mouth on their own.
“I took them,” you said in a choked voice, taking a breath before speaking, letting that wait recede and fade away with your embarrassing confession.
“Excuse me?” Donna asked, obviously confused as she leafed through the book you wanted her to read to you. “What are you talking about, tesoro?”
“The, the books, I took them,” you confessed once again, clenching your fists and looking away. Donna moved the book in her hands and shook her head, frowning.
“You…” she sighed incredulously, looking at you as if she didn’t trust you. You couldn’t blame her for that.
You had been waiting for too long, too long.
“Yes, I love reading those stories,” you said with a smile, ignoring the burning in your throat, the trembling in your legs and the red tone of your cheeks.
Donna laughed nervously, her mouth half open at that unexpected confession.
“I, I didn't know, (Y/N),” she stammered, blinking repeatedly, with a strange shine in her eye. “I thought you…”
The anxiety gave way to a slight anger. Yes, you were the shy and bashful (Y/N), but the demon that was dormant inside of you had just awakened.
“What did you think, Donna? That because I'm a shy and bashful girl I couldn't like sex, or be interested on it?” you asked with a dark look, approaching her, who slowly backed away until her back hit the bookshelf. Her look was worthy of portraying.
“No, I… No…” the lady stammered, watching your sensual walking as you approached, putting your hands on both sides of her body, cornering her by surprise. “(Y/N)… Are… Are you okay?”
“I’m perfectly fine, Donna,” you said with a different voice, confident, with that lascivious demon controlling every part of your body. “What about you? You're shaking.”
“You, you’ve scared me, (Y/N),” she said, looking at you with distrust. “You're not normally that…”
You didn't let her finish the sentence.
 You quickly launched yourself at her lips, capturing them in a new, wild, passionate way. Donna was surprised by your attitude, but she accepted your kisses with pleasure, sighing relaxed by your lack of shyness.
“Do you like it?” you asked, brushing against her lips, with your hands traveling to her waist, pulling her so the fabrics of your dresses mixed together. “I like it.”
She, still impressed, nodded slowly, not resisting the temptation to kiss you again, to catch your lower lip gently with her teeth while your hands gripped her hips, pulling them, forcing her body to dance to yours.
“Wait, (Y/N),” the lady interrupted, shaking her head, as if she had suddenly woken up from a lucid dream. “Wait, tesoro…”
“I don't want to keep waiting,” you said, biting your lip, with your hands moving up her torso, pushing her chest so that her back hit the shelf again. “Donna, I want to make love.”
“Oh, um... Okay, um…” Lady Beneviento stammered, with a nervous laugh and the same blush as you on her cheeks.
“You don't want to?” you asked nervously about the doll maker's attitude.
How did you expect her to react? You had been running away from her advances for a long time.
“Yes, yes I… Sure, of course I want to but…” she said, stopping your caresses with her body, holding the book at the same time as your wrists “(Y/N), are you sure?”
“What do you think?” you said amused, with a completely changed look, dark, sinister, as if an evil spirit had possessed you.
“I, I don't know… It's just that… So, so suddenly I…” she said, with a frightened look, with her hands shaking, dropping the book irremediably on the wood.
When she nervously bent down to pick it up, you stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.
“Wait, I pick it up,” you whispered, bending down slowly in front of the trembling lady, taking your time to get down to the floor, watching as her body passed before your eyes, as the fabric of her dress deformed in the place you wanted.
“What are you doing?” Donna asked with a frown, watching how your body refused to get up, how your wild head thought of a thousand ways to let out the lust that was in your mind.
“Taking the book,” you said jokingly, showing the object in your hand, but without getting up, with very dirty ideas forming in your mind.
“Of, of course,” she stammered, looking away because of that uncomfortable position, because of that sudden closeness of your body to hers, because of that closeness so not innocent, not typical of you.
“I can stay here if you want,” you whispered, running your hands over her legs, leaving the book on the floor and getting on your knees.
“Oh, no, I… (Y/N),” the lady said nervously, looking away as your hands went up relentlessly, as they pulled her trembling legs until they were too close to you. “What, what are you going to do?”
“What do you want me to do, Donna?” you asked back, earning another of her nervous laughs as she looked both ways, looking for a way out of your treacherous trap. There wasn't one, your demon was loose.
“(Y/N), what…?” she asked, when your fingers came together at her waist, when your curious caresses touched the bulge between her legs, the erection your strange behavior provoked.
“Mm,” you murmured, pleased by the response of her sensitive body. You had been imagining that reaction for a long time, that desire living in the brunette, and that she repressed so as not to make you feel uncomfortable, or pressured.
It was your turn to make her nervous, and you were starting to enjoy it.
“It's so hard...” you commented with a lascivious voice, without stopping touching that forbidden area, causing Donna to gasp nervously, putting her hands on your wrists.
“Uh, no, don't say... What?” she asked confused, shaking her head at your wild, unexpected comment. “(Y/N)…”
“I like it, Donna…” you purred, letting the lady's nerves release your wrists and your suddenly naughty fingers slip through the edge of the bottom of her dress. “I want to know if it feels as good as it looks…”
“Hey, what are you…?” Donna asked again, gasping in surprise when your hands sank into her skirt, slowly pulling it down to reveal her desire unfairly squeezed by her underwear.
“It's big, huh?” you asked amused, unable to take your eyes off her erection, her trembling and at the same time anxious body.
“Oh, but, what, what's wrong with you?” the lady in black questioned with a tone that dangerously vacillated between annoyance and surprise. “You, you were supposed to be shy…”
“Do you want me to be shy?” you murmured, lowering the fabric that imprisoned her desire, releasing her throbbing erection under your nervous hands, under soft experimental caresses that made the powerful Lord moan.
“No,” she answered abruptly, her voice dry and cold, when your hands began to massage her shaft slowly while you licked your lips, waiting for that sensation you had read so many times, and that you knew was unmatched.
“Well then…” you whispered, slowly approaching the tip while your hand surrounded it and moved with a constant rhythm, calm, without hurry, allowing you to also enjoy that pleasure that Donna was receiving. “Shut up,” you ordered with dangerous eyes.
She laughed, but before she could protest, you placed your lips softly on her erection, giving small kisses around it, leaving Lady Beneviento speechless, unable to do anything but moan.
You also moaned when your mouth sank into her body, when the taste of her arousal came together with your hands, with your tongue, with everything you could cover in those slow but firm movements.
“Hey, (Y/N), cal, calmati…” she asked you, writhing against the shelf, letting her instincts speak for her, her hand tangling in your hair while you absorbed, licked and kissed every part of her shaft.
“Mm, no, I don't want to,” you said childishly before surrounding her with your lips again, making the lady throw her head back, moaning subtly, matching the movements of your head with her hips, with her hand gripping your hair, keeping you in that place.
“(Y/N)…” Donna moaned, slowly losing control of her body, giving in to the soft caresses of your tongue on her erection.
She seemed completely overwhelmed by the pleasure she felt and that, that made you moan from the tickling you felt between your own legs.
You only responded with a gasp as you took a breath before caressing, only with your hands her penis shining by her own desire. A little nervous by that sudden attitude, you sought her gaze, which she granted you with a mixture of passion and comfort, letting you know with that bright eye that everything you did caused her an immense pleasure.
“Do you want me to continue?” you asked, with a calmer tone, trying to control the moisture you felt between your legs, that small discomfort that her soft moans, his incomprehensible whispers, caused you.
“I... Yes, (Y/N), please,” she said with a hoarse voice, guiding your head back to her erection, moaning when she regained contact, when she felt your mouth surrounding, kissing her body again.
You laughed inside, and out, grabbing her hips to gain some stability as your movements slowly became more complicated, going deeper, the obscene sounds of your actions matching your moans.
“Wait, wait, stop,” she said, pushing you away with the hand holding your head, with a nervous growl. You looked at her amused, knowing what the erratic movements of her hips and her hurried moans meant.
“Why? Are you going to…?” you asked, pouting, proud of the brunette's nervous situation, of being able to see on her cheeks the blush that always adorned yours.
Donna nodded, closing her eye in embarrassment and gesturing for you to get up.
“I don't want to do it, (Y/N), not like this,” she whispered, cupping your face in her hands, speaking in a complicated way when your wild kisses allowed it.
“How do you want to do it, my love?” you asked, with a knot in your stomach, with shyness slowly returning to your feelings, something you couldn't allow.
“I want to love you, tesoro, love you the way you deserve,” Donna said, separating from you, fleeing from your kisses and pulling you towards the old sofa. You smiled tenderly, your cheeks burning again in embarrassment.
That was you, the living image of contradiction.
“Please, lay down,” Donna asked you, pointing at the couch. You, frustrated at having lost control, sighed and obeyed, pulling her wrist so she could do the same.
“If you think you have control just by being on top…” you said, panting among more furious kisses, with the fabric of your dress threatening to tear with her caresses, with her hungry scratches. “…You're wrong, Donna.”
That phrase made the lady stop, looking at you with a half-smile, with a bright and confused eye, but that seemed pleased by your attitude.
“Who are you and what have you done with (Y/N)?” she asked amused, undoing one by one, the buttons on the top of her dress.
“Do you like the new me?” you asked nervously, helping the black fabric to reveal her pale skin, running your hand over the softness of her chest.
Donna, sighing, joining her hand with yours, joining in that curious exploration of her skin, shook her head.
“I like you, (Y/N),” she replied softly, leaning in to kiss you, only to be caught again in a tangle of kisses, of caresses.
Your breathing was intense, the sound of kisses bouncing off the old walls. The desperation of her hands forced them to quickly pull down your dress, not wanting to waste a second, wanting that poetic justice of having your body under hers, naked in the same way.
Her lips, trying to keep control over you, traveled over your exposed skin, her hands unclasped your bra, yours did the same.
The rest of the clothes disappeared as if it were a mist, as if a strange breeze had pushed the clothes away from your bodies.
Your hips burned against hers, her arousal brushing against your wetness. The kisses were messy, your teeth dominated her lips, her neck, the skin of her exposed breasts. There was nothing left that was not conquered by your mouth, by your anxiety, by that release of your shy and withdrawn being.
As much as she tried, fiercely squeezing your breasts, digging her nails into your back, she was not able to match your lustful hunger, your wet kisses that ran over her skin, the hands that scratched her hips, her buttocks, those hands that kept her close to you.
That uncoordinated dance of kisses and caresses led to a gentle stimulation between your legs. A soft finger ran through your wet folds, played with your clit. It was a preparation, the prelude to something wonderful, and you knew it you didn’t want to wait for.
“Donna, stop playing,” you said with a nervous gasp, betraying your desire, the desires of your lust, of your lascivious behavior. “Make me yours now.”
“But, but…” she protested, shaking her head, with a tender smile, as if she were warning you that it was not going to be pleasant.
You didn't care. It wasn't the first time something had made its way into your walls. You hadn't just read those books, your imagination wasn't just that, they were nights and moments of pleasure that you gave yourself.
Not wanting to give such a complicated answer like that, not wanting to acknowledge your hidden adventures, the journeys of your hands through your body, you took what you wanted with your hand, positioning it at your entrance, inevitably forcing it to slowly enter you.
“(Y/N),” Donna moaned, as the tip sank into your wetness, as your body embraced her erection in pleasure, letting it stretch, letting it slide smoothly, like a knife digging into butter. You just hoped you wouldn't melt.
“Yes, Donna, it's so... Big... So... Hard...” you murmured, shaking your head from side to side, unable to bear the pleasure you felt with her inside of you, the pleasure that caused cramps in your body when your walls stretched.
“You have such a dirty mouth,” she said with a sinister smile, her face changed, surely due to the pleasure of your body's embrace, a tight but soft, wet, warm embrace.
“You didn't know that?” you asked amused, making yourself more comfortable, moving your hips to see if hers dared to do the same. You didn't even pay attention to that brief pain.
No, the worried and scared (Y/N) had taken a vacation.
“Can I… Can I move?” the brunette asked, panting when she was completely inside of you, when her body trembled inside of yours. “Please…”
“You must,” you said, closing your eyes when her hips finally joined yours in a coordinated dance, in soft, careful, elegant thrusts. You knew that wouldn’t last long, that your anxious body would ask for more.
And so it was, your furious moans intensified at the same time as hers. The kisses, the caresses, the thrusts of Donna, everything formed a kind of paradise in your head, an ambrosia that you had just discovered and that you didn’t want to stop drinking.
Your body, lascivious but inexperienced, didn’t take long to give in to that divine pleasure, arching, forcing you to open your eyes and hug the brunette, to let her arms calming the intensity of your first orgasm, the first one shared, of course.
“Oh, Donna,” you moaned with a smile that she returned, relaxing her movements, not wanting to stimulate you too much. Once again she was wrong about you.
With a sigh, biting your lip in a playful way, you pushed her away from you, causing her to moan from the lack of contact, from the inability she had to release herself in the same way as you.
“Cosa fai?” she asked confused. “Te, tesoro, I was about to…”
A finger on her lips interrupted her complaints, followed by a wet kiss, one in which your tongue was the protagonist, as if it had tied hers, as if just with the caress of your lips, you were able to leave her speechless.
“I told you, that I… I was in control,” you whispered, pushing the lady with your hands on her chest, letting her fall back on the couch while you climbed up her hips, threatening like a predator stalking its prey.
Donna looked at you confused, but grabbed your hips with her hands, guiding you so your body sank into her erection again, causing a new wave of pleasure from that different position.
“Hands off,” you whispered in her ear, moving her nails away from your skin, grabbing her wrists so they rested on top of her head.
She blinked in confusion, nodding, breathing heavily as your body began to move subtly, slowly moving up and down and letting your walls play with her again.
“Do you like it that way?” you asked, picking up a comfortable rhythm, holding her wrists as your hips danced with hers.
“Yes, yes…” she replied in a whisper, before moaning at your soft internal caresses, going up to the limit and then coming back down slowly, experimenting, finding a way to make her moans less and less discreet.
Your own pleasure clouded your game of experimentation, making you move uncoordinatedly, noticing how her body trembled beneath yours, how her eye closed from the overwhelming pleasure you made her feel. The end was near and you were sure your back would arch again.
“(Y/N), sto… Sto per venire…” Donna whispered, releasing from the grip of her wrists and putting her hands on your hips, which let themselves be guided as she wanted.
 You had lost control.
“I don't understand you,” you mocked, stopping your movements on purpose, making her hands to do all the work, moving your body.
“Cazzo, (Y/N)!” the lady protested, about to explode with pleasure. “I'm, I'm telling you that I'm going… I'm going to…”
She didn't have time to finish the sentence. With a grunt, keeping your body motionless on hers, the heat of her release reached your insides, as if it were a spark that caused that tension in your muscles again, a cry much more desperate than the previous one.
The caresses of her heat on your body became a relaxing balm. The sound of your agitated breathing became calming, your eyes met, your smiles coincided.
“Wow… That was…” she said, helping you out, letting her warmth slide down your body. “(Y/N)…”
“What?” you said, leaning over, leaning on her, resting your head on her chest, with her hands lovingly playing with your hair.
“Unexpected,” Donna said, kissing your head, holding you tightly against her, as if deep down she knew you had never stopped being that shy girl.
“I… It's just that, I'm sick of being that way,” you confessed, sinking into her chest. Not sorry, but afraid of having lost which she adored, your apparent innocence.
“I like the way you are, (Y/N),” she whispered, with a calm voice, losing the lust she had minutes before.
“That lustful way? Or that shy way?” you asked.
“I like you either way, (Y/N)…”
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rzyraffek · 1 year ago
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hey I hope this doesn’t sound like a weird request but could u like slashers (preferably Michael Myers, Jason, maybe Billy loomis or Stu?, and the Sinclair brothers) kidnapping “adopting” reader? Like them kind yknow unaliving (Child) readers family then like having to like care for reader???? Idk if it makes sense but it came to me in a dream about me being a kid and Michael myers becoming my dad 😭
ALSO ITS COMPLETELY PLATONIC OBVS ‼️‼️‼️
IM SORRY FOR 2WEEK BREAK I HAD TO!!
This request is such a cute idea!!! I made so much content about perent!slasher and kid!y/n cuz its way more entertaining for me to write!! Authors note at the end!
They/them, sfw, Request open
Slashers trying to be decent dad figures
Jason Voorhees
First of all, why on earth would your perent take you all the way here??? Your a smal baby and this is dangerous! Not only cuz jason is here, but wolfs? Boars? Huge forest AND lake???
So basically he didnt expect a child here
When he was in one of cabins he heard crying from bathroom, after few seconds of planing a murder he realised that is a child crying
His heart skipped a beat and he kinda begun to panic. HUH??? A CHILD? EEE eee oh god the whole backyard is covered in blood... oh no did I scare them?? Oh no
Dude gets more spooked than a child
After they got along he kinda makes them live in his cabin, he spends good portion of time just hanging around
Y/n gets used to their new mute friend and learns their own ways to understand him
Dude is that type of dad who will let y/n paint his nails and he will dress up in cute outfits just to make his kid happy
100% checks under their bed for monsters (and closet too!)
Wants to teach them all about nature! Which plants are good, how to find animals to eat, how to avoid humans
He dodges the topic of slaughtering y/n perents... where are they?? Ermmm idk didnt see them
Micheal Myers
Dude is pretty passive when it comes to kids
He exists, they exists, but as far as kids don't bother him, he won't bother them
But oh lourd..... your his little girl/boi/kid and he is going to do everything to keep it that way
He sees it differently than others, he helped you, took you away from those horrible people (no matter if y/n past perents were bad or good people) why would you want to leave? Or miss them?
But no matter how he feels, he is still Micheal, he won't be very cuddly or clingy. Then y/n needs comforting he will sit next to them, let them talk, tbh he is okay with them giving him some physical attention but he won't hug them back
Steals dolls, figurines, crayons for y/n
He never gets rid of his stalker nature, he is always there, watching, making sure there's noone in their way. Noone bothering or looking at y/n. He sometimes watches them sleep, just looking, he is the only monster in their closet
Huge fan of stickers btw
After good few months he takes off his mask when with y/n! He knows they accept him and love him! I mean his face is as emotionless as its owner but it still matters(at least now you know where he is staring at)
Billy and Stu
Dudes probably were like "eeeerr billy? That *instert y/n perents name* eee you didn't tell me they had a kid?" "the WHAT"
*stu giving y/n chocolates while billy panics in room next to it wondering wtf to do with y/n*
"We can't just keep it! Who is going to take care of it?"
They kept you btw, Billy will say that they did that only so you don't go and call police but they got really attached
Stu is the fun dad while Billy is the serious dad
"Hi baby we bought you happy meal" "child did you do your homework"
Billy rages over monopoli and stu cheats in uno
Sinclair brothers
"Lester who tf is in your truck?" "Eeee I found it?"
Vince lets y/n sleep in his bed when they have nightmares. He also really wants y/n to do arts like him😊
Lester just vibes, you like cars kid? Let's go on car trip! You like wildlife? I know where deers at!
Bo teaches y/n how to shoot while they are way too young to even hold a gun
Y/n will be extremely spoiled btw
None of them know how to cook full meal
Lester will call y/n buddy, pal, kiddo
Bo will call them child, goblin, spawn on satan, little princes(or a prince)
Vincent will see them as little creature and a baby
Vincent let's y/n play and decorate his hair, they also make wax figurines together and play with dog. He is more like older shy brother than a father figure but if you want you can work with this
Bo lets y/n sleep on him and draw on his arms, he also hopes y/n never grows up cuz they are tiny and cute. He also sometimes gives them his hat
Lester loves showing of his skull collection and driving around forest, just talking. He also enjoys lisening to y/n monologues while he is working
All of them get little heart attack when they hear y/n swear. All bets on Bo accidentally saying bad word next to y/n and them just repeating it
Bo and lester love to just put you on their shoulder! And vince just pickes y/n up like sack of potatos (but gently)
Tickle fights with Vince
Arm wrestling with Lester who pretends that y/n is too strong and lets them win
All x reader tags are here only to reach bigger audience! Im sorry if there's any misstypes or anything weird! I kinda wrote it in rush cuz I feel bad for making yall wait for requests so long! I should make this hc list longer but I am very tired. Goodnight
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unholyhelbig · 3 months ago
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Obsessed obsessed obsessed with Firecrest 🥺
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Title: Firecrest (Part 2/???)
Read Part One
Summary: Kate Bishop and y/n have an unspoken agreement that revolves around being enemies with benefits. But when Kate's new mentor is someone Y/n is very familiar with, things become complicated.
Warnings: Parental abandonment, horrible parenting, slight mentions of blood, reader has villain tendencies, and horrible grammar because I never proofread!
[A/n: I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I'm honestly really digging writing it. If this is something you guys would like me to keep going, I'll do my best. Just let me know!]
Main Masterlist | Read my stuff on AO3 | Leave Requests
A sting worked its way through your knuckles before dissolving into a dull ache at your wrist. Sweat had started at your hairline and the small of your back before soaking through the wicked fabric of your tank-top. You could feel your shoulders cramping up. But, you’d stopped crying an hour ago. You feared that if you stopped assaulting the punching bag, then the tears would spill over again.
Lance had told you to take it easy. Your ribs had been bruised after the situation you’d left the benefit for. While you were grateful, said distraction packed a punch and you’d taken a swift kick to the gut and the side of a fire escape digging painfully into your side. It took everything in you not to throw the low-level criminal onto the pavement below.
Instead, you’d cuffed him and left him there until morning, or until law enforcement showed up. You were projecting, you were sure. But if your mother looked at you with pity one more time, you would have shoved him to his certain death.
You’d gotten out of the house and came to the boxing gym. The owner had given you your own key and it gave you enough privacy. If you had any tears left, you’d be able to shed them freely. You clenched your eyes shut and threw a solid round of punches, a scream of anguish ripping through your throat.
Two more hits and the bag became stagnant. Not the same, rocking defense that you’d been punching. You were used to the rhythmic sway and your eyes sprung open at the change in density. You’d ripped a bag before, sand spilling onto the floor.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” You shouted, taking a step back. Kate Bishop was on the other side of the bag, holding onto it with a concerned stare on her features. Her annoying perfect features, despite the late time of night. You panted. “Shit.”
“I called out, but you didn’t answer. I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m sorry.”
She released the bag and it swung back and fourth between you both. The chain that attached it to the ceiling squeaked in a rusted effort. Her stormy eyes flicked up nervously and then back to you. You knew that Kate used to come here with her father, her biological father, but you weren’t aware that she had the same key privileges as you.
You worked a hand through sweat-soaked hair and closed the distance to the side of the boxing ring. You used your teeth to pull open the plastic nib on your water bottle, soothed by the cool swallows. Kate watched you carefully. Her eyes roamed over your form, coated in sweat and toned from years of physical exertion.
You couldn’t stop your shoulders from trembling. Violent attempts from your body to assert it’s emotions. You could give in, and you could do so easily. But you would not. Not with Kate Bishop relinquishing her hold on the punching bag that you’d nearly turned to a pulp of sand and shredded upholstery. This wasn’t your dynamic. This wasn’t how things worked.
It was easy to take a lot of things that Kate was willing to give; a ride home from the gym, a doll that matched hers when the two of you were young, soft touches and harder thrusts. But one thing you refused to take was her pity. It leaked from her expression like a broken faucet and for some reason, that angered you.
“What are you doing here, Kate?”
“I came here to work off some extra energy. What are you doing here? I figured I wouldn’t see you for a few more months after you left the benefit early like that.”
“There was no reason for me to stick around.”
The answer fell from your lips in a deadened, emotionless tone. She clenched her jaw and then unclenched it, mulling her thoughts. There was an apprehension to her stance, even as she closed the distance between you both. She stopped just short of your fingers twitching to press against her hip, holding her in place. You lifted an unimpressed eyebrow.
Another swallow of now-warm water seemed to stop the uncertainty of your movements. You hoisted yourself onto the edge of the ring with a sigh, pressing your fingertips to your temples. Kate moved silently and leaned next to you. The quiet she offered was something you took, just like everything else.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Kate asked softly. You looked at her in confusion, lilting your head to the side. “You watched me fawn over Clint Barton for years. I had his posters in my room, and replica’s of his bows, and every news story ever written about him cut out and saved in a shoebox.”
“Because he’s important to you, Katie.”
“He’s your father.”
“He’s not.” You snapped. It was harsh. You forced yourself to relax, softening your voice. “He’s not. Lance is my father, and Clint Barton is far more important to you then he is to me.”
Kate swallowed thickly and hoisted herself up next to you. Her heat was overwhelming you with comfort. You didn’t have it in you to figure out what that meant, past your petty rivalry. She smelled of fresh detergent, of the winter air that clung to her so heavenly.
Her hand tentatively moved to your knee, and you didn’t stop her. You were still trembling and stilled at her closeness. “I’m not going to see him anymore.”
“Kate,” you chuckled sadly. “He’s your hero, and he trusts you enough to take over the Hawkeye name. You can’t throw that out because of his choices, and you certainly can’t throw that out because of me. We hate each other, remember?”
A look of sadness flickered momentarily against her features. The two of you had been in a constant head to head race to prove yourselves since you were young. Kate always came in first, and you had settled with second place; in school, in sports, in forced family outings. It used to end in toe to toe screaming matches.
But, the two of you were older now, and all that built up tension was easily released with stripped clothes and thrown around insults that did nothing but stir the excitement in your gut.
Being a hero was the only thing you were better at, than Katherine Elizabeth Bishop and you were sure that was about to change with Hawkeyes diligent teaching. Lance and Bobbi didn’t need the glory that came with being an Avenger- no, they kept the secret in the term secret agent.
“Right, of course.” She sounded out, nudged you with her shoulder. “But… you can still talk to me.”
You leveled her with an unimpressed stare. Despite her suave playboy attitude that infuriated you, Kate Bishop was not subtle when she wanted something. She chewed her bottom lip, both of her eyebrows raised in an adorable attempt to ease your nerves.
“Right, you’re right, sorry.” She moved to push herself off of the mat, but you wrapped your fingers around her wrist and gave it a tender squeeze. Kate froze in place before scooting back up, even closer this time. Her words reduced to a whisper, as if trying not to scare you off. “Okay.”
“Do you know what Terrigen crystals are?”
“We learned about them last semester, inhuman history. It’s a catalyst chemical that binds with red blood cells that are receptive to change.”
“Impressive.” You gave her a wolfish smile. “When I was growing up, my mom gave up her solo-agent status and conceded to joining a team, and one of their first missions together was to find, and retrieve these Terrigen crystals, the only ones in the entire world. They were meant to contain them, and nothing else, but things rarely go as planned.”
You were sure that Kate knew about the broken crystals that had leaked into the push and pull of the ocean. Fish naturally consumed the microscopic agent and soon, the Terrigen properties were distributed throughout the world commercially. Coulson had called it untamable. You remembered the fear in his eyes, and you had squirmed uncomfortably in the same Inhuman History class a year back.
“The day that things changed, my Aunt Daisy was in solitary confinement in the team’s underground bunker. My mom was busy running tests on her blood after she’d been exposed to the chemical agent. I knew how to stay out of the way, but happened to be in the lab with her when everything started to shake.”
“Shake?” Kate quirked a brow.
You nodded “The Terrigen crystal gave Daisy control of vibrational forces, but none of us knew that at the time. We just knew that something was wrong. The shaking startled everyone and my mom, she grabbed every Terrigen crystal but one.”  
If not for Jemma, if not for her quick reflexes and wrapping her arms around Bobbi, sending them both from the lab before activating the safety seal, then neither of them would have made it. Indigo mist rushed from the shattered crystal and you remember the acrid floral taste that coated your lungs. It suffocated you.
“The last thing I remember about that day is my mother sobbing. She had both of her hands pressed against the glass surrounding the lab. She wailed like I wasn’t coming back, like she had failed me.”
Kate whimpered your name “Y/n,”
A tear drop hit the collar of your shirt and wicked nicely with the drying sweat. You used the base of hand to delicately wipe the rest away and came to the startling realization that Kate Bishop was one of the only people who had ever seen you cry.
“Everything went dark, then. I remember this hot, prickling feeling and it was hard to move. And then there was nothing. I know now that it was some… some type of cocoon of dirt and stone, but it crumbled away easily when the Terrigen had taken it’s effect.”
“That must have been scary.”
“Terrifying,” You let out a watery chuckle. “But in the end, I was in the best place possible for something like that to happen. I was surrounded by people who cared about me, who loved me, and who could teach me how to control the fire that’s always just below the surface.”
You pulled one knee to your chest and leaned your cheek against it, keeping a steady eye on Kate. She was already watching you. Fingers toying with the small brass zipper of her sweatshirt. She looked beautiful in the dimmed lights, and being this close, stopping to talk to her, had given you an even view of her freckles.
“Clint was on a mission in the Baltic Sea with Natasha, or at least, that’s how my mom tells it. Point is, he wasn’t there and even when he did return he took one look at me in solitary confinement and packed a duffel bag. There were arguments, I’m sure, but I wasn’t privy to them.”
The last time you had seen your biological father was when he knelt down at the sealed doors of the lab. His hand was massive compared to yours, it looked unnatural and alien when he pressed it against the glass. There was a finality in his stare. He’d called you Sparky, and you’d giggled like it was the funniest thing in the world.
You could see the turmoil in her stormy gaze. There was the sense of betrayal there, and the quiet contemplation of someone who had just found out the reality of their hero.  Clint was her everything, her mentor, her teacher. He was the father figure she needed, and that was a clear line drawn in the sand.
Kate’s cold touch against your cheek, hot and tinted red from your earlier exertion, pulled you from your thoughts. Pity had replaced any semblance of anger she held onto. A whine moving involuntarily past your lips. You hadn’t realized how desperate you were for someone to touch you. For Kate to touch you.
Your relationship with the archer had never been any more than a succession of first and second place. A deadly dance that had culminated in open mouthed kisses and wandering fingers. This was one of the few times you’d had a serious conversation with her, a raw one that exposed wounds.
“I’ll do it,”
“Do what?”
You were hopelessly and pathetically lost. She smiled at that, an animalistic grin that often fell over her when she knew she was winning. You’d seen in countless times and couldn’t quite remember when it stopped annoying you and started turning you on.
“Pretend that we’re a couple,” She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, dropping her hand and hopping off the edge of the ring. You missed her warmth, but it didn’t last for long. Kate was suddenly posted up between your legs, her arms draped over your shoulders. She was so close you could smell the mint on her breath. “To piss off Clint.”
Your hands naturally found her hips, not daring to squeeze them, “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“First of all, you didn’t ask. You saw the way Clint reacted to us sleeping together and your instincts to make him angry kicked in. Secondly, I already told him we’re dating. I have way too much talent for him to drop me as a protégé just because I’m banging his estranged daughter.”
“Wow, you have such a way with words, Kate. Really, I’m just fawning over you here.”
She rolled her eyes, but you couldn’t stifle the phantom of a smile on your face. No one had ever offered to do something like this for you before. Especially not someone this close to the playing field. People had called you a freak for most of your life, an inhuman disaster that had a hot temper.
The anger you could control. It was the intensity in which you loved that got you into the most trouble.
Footfalls echoed against the rain-soaked streets of the city. A deep burn resonated within your chest, sweat forming against your collarbone and dripping down the small of your back. You’d never seen the benefit to tactical suits in the summer. They kept heat in like no other and by the time the night was over, your entire body ached.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
You’d lost one of the targets. It wasn’t something you’ve done in years, but your mind was admittedly somewhere else. You hadn’t gotten much sleep in the past week and it was showing in your sloppy work. Your mother had given you a worried look that only lasted half a second before you’d taken off.
The man you were pursuing was faster than you anticipated, but it wasn’t hard for you to catch up. You never understood why people ran into alleyways. They’d most likely lived in the city for their entire lives and knew that most of them ended in construction zones, or the end of a brownstone.
His chest heaved as he felt the wall behind him, turning and pressing his back against the wall. If he was desperate enough to run, you knew that he didn’t have a plan past this.
The tactical suit came with a few benefits that staved off the discomfort. While your mother preferred her staves, you had always leaned more towards a quarterstaff, a hot, reactive, type of metal that would glow a dangerous neon orange at just your touch.
It extended with a mechanical whir, your head tilting to the side. “Dude, really?”
“Look, I’ll never do it again!” His voice cracked like he was adolescent, but the beard that splattered the bottom half of his face betrayed the effects of his fear. “Just let me go, please.”
You closed the distance that lingered between you both, using the end of your staff to push up his chin. Your voice leaked with mock sympathy “Really? You promise?”
Half of his face was dripping with the blue dye from an exploding pack in a bundle of bills. His hands were coated entirely, the lapels of his shirt smeared from his lackluster attempt to wipe away the pigment. The man nodded vigorously.
“Oh, thank God, that’s a relief. I really thought I was going to have to take you in. The nearest station is eight blocks south and that would be a load of paperwork.”
“Yeah, yes, a lot of red tape” He shakily replied.
You slammed the quarterstaff into his gut. His breath left him, curling into himself as he fell to his knees. In the same moment, an arrow whizzed past you and lodged into his shoulder. His exhale of air turned into a scream of pain.
You groaned and pinched the bridge of your nose. The fletching was a dark purple, almost black under the light of the moon. Telling the difference between Clint’s arrows and Kate’s hadn’t become an issue until now. Knowing that he was in the same city as you made you feel ill.
“I had that!”
The staff retracted and you attached it back in place on your belt. So, what if you liked to play around with the perpetrators every once and awhile? You did good work, but there were long and deep lulls of footwork in the hero business.
Clint stood at the mouth of the alleyway. His stance was shadowed with the concise way he carried himself. You couldn’t tell if he was alone or not, but didn’t get the signature winter scent from Kate’s presence.
He strode up to the target, pulling the arrow from his shoulder with a gentle tug. He put it back into it’s quiver as if it wasn’t slick with blood. Clint cuffed him, dragged him into a sitting position by the arm. You watched his languid movements with a resentment you didn’t know you harbored.
“Yeah, it looked like you had it, Sparky.”
“I told you not to call me that.”
His blue eyes flicked down to your hands, watching for any signs of a dull glow. He didn’t’ find any. You balled your fists and clenched your jaw. You didn’t owe him anything. Tonight, he seemed to be approaching you with contempt, now that his initial shock had worn off.
Clint clearly didn’t’ know how to handle you, or the giant emotional elephant in the room. It was nearing midnight and there was a storm brewing, you could smell it. The last thing you wanted to do was stand by the dumpsters and discuss your feelings, so you started to walk away.
��Kid, wait. I’m approaching this all wrong. I’m sure you had it handled.” His words didn’t stop you, but he jogged to catch up and fell in step. You glared at him, shoved your suddenly cold hands into the pockets of your suit. “We need to talk about Kate.”
This stopped you in your tracks. He wanted to talk about Kate. All these years separated, living completely different lives and he wanted to talk about your fake girlfriend. “Okay. Yeah. Let’s talk about Kate.”
“You can’t continue to see her.”
You stopped, standing in front of him with your arms crossed. He had a few inches on you, but you carried his stance. One of the only things other than his stubbornness that you had inherited from him.
“I’m sorry?”
“Kate is persistent, I’m sure you know that. It took months of her poking and prodding for me to even agree to take her under my wing. She’s a good archer, but she’s reckless, thinks too much with her heart and not her brain. She can’t afford to have distractions right now.”
A brick dropped in the pit of your stomach. The flames seemed to lick viciously at your pulse points. But, you swallowed it back and let out a sad laugh. “You don’t think I’m good enough for her.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Didn’t have to, you did all the talking when you walked out on me at eight years old. Then you come waltzing back after years of building the family you wanted. The family that wasn’t filled with freaks.”
“Y/n, I don’t-“
“Because that’s all we ever were for you.” You growled at him. “the accident was just the excuse you needed to leave, and you’ve spent your time trying to make up for it by parenting every single stray that shows up on your doorstep expect for me.”
He was rendered silent, something that Clint rarely was. He opened his mouth and closed it again, a few times as if he was a fish out of water. You were breathing heavy, the words stinging your throat. You’d been harboring that for years, burying it deep inside. He’d tripped the metaphorical wire.
When he did find his voice, it was cracked and morose. “Okay. You’re right, you’re right.”
“I’m… right?”
He nodded sadly “I haven’t been fair to you, or your mother. I was a different person back then. I just don’t want Kate to get hurt, and I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.”
A step back from him seemed to clear your mind. For a moment, you wanted to crash into his safe embrace, to breathe in the scent of his aftershave. He was your father, your biological father, and despite it all, you were drawn to his kindness.
You swallowed back the lump in your throat, mouth tasting of metal and bile. “You’re afraid of me, Hawkeye. You always have been.”
“That’s not true” He said it weakly.
“It is. You wouldn’t have run the moment I became different if you weren’t.” another step back and he didn’t’ dare to follow you. You vowed not to cry in front of him, or about him. Not now, and not ever, but you couldn’t stop the tears from streaking your cheeks. “You don’t have to worry about Kate Bishop. She can take care of herself. And so can I.”
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starleska · 11 months ago
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Dollface - the Toymaker x Real Toymaker!Reader
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As a toymaker, you are delighted when you stumble across MR EMPORIUM'S TOYSHOP. But when you meet its eccentric owner - one eponymous 'Toymaker' - you enter into an impossible game with higher stakes than you ever imagined…with the risk of your deepest fantasy coming true. Rating: Mature. Tags: Dollification; Toyification; Truth or Dare; Reality-Bending; Humiliation; Psychological Torture; Fluff; Teasing; Touching; Forced Dancing; Mentions of Neglect; Cosmic Horror; Horrible Fake German. Reader is presumed female, but has a complicated relationship with gender and enjoys feminine terms of endearment. requested by the lovely @chronicbeans!! whilst this was originally meant to be a few-paragraphs long headcanons bit...but then it sprawled into a 13,000 word fanfic. my apologies to yourself, and to any German speakers in the audience 🙈💖 you can also read this on AO3. i hope you enjoy!
Toys are your life.
For as long as you can remember you have been fascinated by all manner of toys: everything from teddy bears to zoetropes; spinning tops to yo-yos. As a child you weren’t just interested in playing with toys—you wanted to reach inside of them, pick them apart, and understand every little detail about how they worked. Much to the chagrin of your parents, you spent more time trying to put your toys back together than you did actually playing with them. 
But all of your alternative playtime paid off. Now, as an adult, you run a modest yet successful local toymaking business, with your own vendor stall at the market and a popular online shop. Much of your work is custom, using vintage materials to replicate toys of the past, and you occasionally trade and sell real old toys too. As a result, you have something of a monopoly on the local toy scene, and feel you know every single toymaker and toy-collecting enthusiast in a fifty mile radius.
That’s why it’s a real shock when you stumble across MR EMPORIUM’S TOYSHOP late one night. 
The storefront is a gorgeous assault to the senses. Parked in the middle of the cold, grey street, the toyshop beams out crimson and gold onto the snow drifts, with all manner of classic toys peeking out at you through the windows. You are delighted to see an assortment of downy plush bears and hand-painted model motor cars crowding the shelves: so many it feels like the toyshop itself might burst at the seams. Your giddiness only increases as you get closer to the window. You can make out all sorts of fun, bright shapes within: countless colourful toys beckoning you and begging to be taken home. 
Yet it isn’t these treasures which catch your eye the most. Right at the back of the shop, near the counter, you spy a shelf lined with dolls. They are beautiful even at a distance: likely from the early 20th century, masterfully painted and wearing a fine rainbow of little dresses. Even from your vantage point you can see the impeccable craftsmanship. There’s immense detail in their delicate hands, and if you’re not mistaken, each doll has a crop of real human hair.
Perhaps most intriguing of all is the eyes. Their glass sheen looks so sad and wistful…far more emotion than a doll should be able to communicate.
If you didn’t know any better, you would believe the dolls were alive.
Oh, I shouldn’t , you tell yourself. I’m much too old now to be playing with dolls…and I keep all my old ones locked up anyway. I shouldn’t deprive some kid of a toy. This is a deeply silly excuse, and a hypocritical one. The vast majority of your clientele are adults, as are the brilliant toymakers you’re proud to call your friends. This is the perpetual double-standard you constantly believe and are always trying to rally against: that you are uniquely strange, and deserve to be ridiculed for your interests. 
The curious thing is that this idea doesn’t apply to toys more broadly…only to dolls. You have made countless dolls throughout your career, and yet owning dolls and enjoying them is something you’ve long nursed a hang-up over. But that is a can of worms you refuse to open up today. No , you decide, today I am going to be a normal adult who is confident about their interests and doesn’t feel an ounce of shame! I am going to go into this toyshop and look at those dolls, and that’s that! With your mind made up, you shift your backpack onto your shoulder, take a deep breath, and push through the toyshop’s door. 
The door slams shut behind you with the tinkle of a bell. You are immediately enveloped in warmth, and the delicious scent of varnished wood enrobes you like a fine dress. You can’t help but close your eyes and inhale: somehow, the toyshop smells just like your childhood.
“Hallo, meine kleine Mädchen! Komm in, komm in, be ge-removings yourselves from dee kalt! It is ein horrid evenings, is it not?”
You open your eyes in surprise, and see an older, greyish-blond-haired man leaning against the counter. He’s dressed in a most whimsical fashion, wearing a soft white work shirt coupled with a maroon waistcoat, and a brown apron stuffed with woodworking tools. A spotted ascot around his neck and a pair of pince-nez balanced at the end of his nose complete the look.
The man smiles at you like he’s known you all his life. You feel like you’ve been transported to another time.
“It is,” you agree, as you shake the snow drifts from your boots. “So sorry for dropping in so late—I’m surprised you’re still open.”
“Ah, but I am always having times for dee beautiful Fräulein,” says the man with a coy wink. “But vot is it zat is ge-bringings you here?”
You have to stifle a giggle. You know enough of the language to know the man’s German is terribly off, and his accent is borderline offensive. However, you also know that folks in the toymaking community tend to be eccentric, and you can forgive a corny, theatrical accent for the wonderful atmosphere of this shop. Who are you to judge if he wants to LARP as a Bavarian thespian?
Before you can reply, the strange man is suddenly beside you…although you don’t recall seeing him move. He has also removed his pince-nez. You blink, a little taken aback. How did he move so quickly? You wonder if you’ve eaten enough that day.
“I’m…a toymaker,” you say, trying not to sound freaked out. “I’ve never seen your shop before, and I thought I knew everyone in town who makes toys. What’s your name?”
The man’s eyes are blue, you notice—terribly blue, and sparkling in the soft light with unspoken mischief. “You are beings ein toymaker? Vy, zat is a coincidence…” He taps the side of his nose. “Many peoples ge-calls me by many names. But zey most oftens call me the Toymaker, und nothing else. It be gettings dee point across, nein? Und was ist your name?”
You tell him, and the Toymaker’s mouth splits open in a wide grin.  
“Das ist ein schöner name!” he says enthusiastically. “Truly, a magnifizent fit. It is not often zat I am gettings other toymakers in mein shop…I vonder, vot does your eye ge-fallen upon? Could it be mein cuddly collection of teddies? Oh, ja, I sees you are ge-needings ein soft companion for dese frosty nights. Or could it be mein train? Choo-choo! it goes, round and round all dee livelong day! I am ge-havings many customers mit ein eye for dee train.”
The Toymaker’s voice is smooth as butter, rich and inviting, and each word he speaks seems to add a little more colour to his delightful environment. You look around in awe at all of the toys, unable to comprehend the sheer scale of the place. Just moments ago the shop seemed so small, with the abundance of toys seriously crammed in on the shelves, but now it looks impossibly vast: a veritable sea of playful delights. The little choo-choo train in question chugs along on its rails and moves past the doll shelf, drawing your eye back to their pretty little figures.
“Ah, dee Katze hast gotten your tongue,” says the Toymaker. He gestures to the dolls, and the gold ring on his right pinkie finger catches the light. “I too ams often becomings stricken by dee beauty of mein dollen…zey took me many nights to make, ja. Oh, but ge-look! Eins ist out of place. Zose fingers are so fiddly! Und dee hair…zo many eveninks ge-spended brushing out zeir tiny curls."
You watch as the Toymaker reaches up and begins deftly rearranging the dolls. His fingers are long and nimble, and they move with such care and attention, placing each doll’s tiny hands neatly in their laps and smoothing down their dresses. When you’re a toymaker, you grow to appreciate a pair of well-practised hands, and there’s something undeniably… charming , about this Toymaker and his cartoonish whimsy. It’s silly, but you feel a little heat rising in your cheeks. The attention he’s paying to such small, delicate objects…
…well, it’s only natural that your mind should wander to more practical applications of such hands.
“The dolls are gorgeous,” you say. “Do you offer any toymaking classes? The dolls I make have a bit more of a modern touch.”
That’s when the Toymaker laughs, and it is a strange laugh: it tinkles out of his mouth like a jingle, in a musical, ‘Ha ha ha HA ha ha ha!’
“Oh, mein dollen are sehr modern…moreso zan you sink,” says the Toymaker. He gives you another wink, as it seems he likes to give them out for free.
That’s when you feel the little clench in your chest. Oh dear, he really is quite handsome. This wouldn’t be the first time you’d caught feelings for a quirky, attractive stranger, and they were often not as well-dressed as the Toymaker. You have a tendency to get caught up in the realms of imagination, and have thought up more than a few daring trysts with pretty-faced people with whom you’d only exchanged a couple of words. You ought to grab a doll, leave, and have a quiet little panic attack about this interaction at home.
You force your eyes away from the handsome man and back to the shelf.
That’s when you spot her.
Somehow, a doll had escaped your notice. Right in the middle of her sad-looking rainbow sisters is another doll, simply and prettily done up in a powder-blue be-ribboned frock. Unlike the other dolls, this one is smiling in a dimpled way, and her eyes sparkle with a magical sheen not unlike that of the Toymaker’s. You note with some amusement that the doll has the same eye colour as you—hair colour, too. This isn’t strange on a doll, but it gives you the same jolt of satisfaction and déjá vu you get when meeting someone who shares your name.
“Ah,” says the Toymaker (now on your other side). “Dee dollen…zey speak to you, ja? Zey are ge-having ein chitter-chatter, all high up on dee shelf. Vot fun games zey have ven I ge-leaves the shoppen!”
Dollen isn’t even the German word for dolls, you know—it’s Puppen. But you get the sense that the Toymaker’s German accent is less an earnest recreation (and it’s certainly not his natural accent), but a pantomime version intended to amuse and entertain.
“I’m sure they do,” you say, but you’re distracted from the Toymaker’s little act. The longer you look at the doll, the stranger you feel.
You move closer to the shelf to get a better look, and are startled by what you discover.
It isn’t just that the doll on the shelf has similar hair and eyes to you: they’re both the exact same shade, even down to the imperfect flecks in your irises. 
You study the doll intently for a moment, blink, and— what? The doll’s hair is now the same length as yours. Was it always? No, you could have sworn just a moment ago it was not just a completely different length, but style.
You rise up on your tiptoes to get a better look at the doll, and are baffled by what you see. It’s as if detail is stacking on the doll right before your eyes, the way some video game maps load in piece-by-piece. You watch as texture is added to her hair, and light pools in her eyes. This level of craftsmanship is uncanny; it’s as if the Toymaker went out of their way to create a doll which resembles you.
“How did you do that?” You turn to the Toymaker, confused. “Did you know I was coming here?"
The Toymaker’s mouth contorts into an offended pout. “Now, you ge-vounds me. It is ein special privilege, having another Spielzeugmacher in mein shop. Tell me, vot do you sink of her hair? Es ist pretty, ja?”
“But that doll looks exactly like me,” you say.
You can feel your heart hammering in your chest. Suddenly the warm, cosy atmosphere of the toyshop feels more claustrophobic and oppressive. The Toymaker looks unbothered; he rests his chin on his hand and contemplates the shelf. 
“Zere ist ein…certain resemblance,” says the Toymaker, with an unusual, almost French affectation on the last word. “But you are just ge-havings, as zey say, ‘von of zose faces’. Ja, das ist richtig: ein dollface. Puppengesicht. All smooth und sveet. Vy, vot a lucky lady you are! She simply must be goings home vith you.”
You’re scrambling to work out what kind of practical joke this is, and how the Toymaker was pulling it off. You’d met a few eccentric toymakers with God complexes before, as they tend to go hand-in-hand: you’d briefly dated one who designed escape rooms in his spare time. But this is on another level…creating a doll which can be imperceptibly altered to resemble a person in real-time? You’d never heard of such a thing, and you can’t think of a non-creepy reason why someone would go to the trouble of making one.
Oh, hang on a minute, you think. This guy might just be a genius. “This is a marketing trick, isn’t it?”
You pull away from the Toymaker and lean against his counter, feeling terribly smug for having figured it out.
The Toymaker puts his head on one side, quizzical. Playing dumb, you think.
“I am not ge-followings you,” the Toymaker says. 
“You make dolls of the people you see ahead of time,” you explain. “People you know who will come in here at some point…collectors, other toymakers. Then you wait and put them on the shelf when they come in, maybe behind some hidden panel so you can spin them around when they get close. Then when they come in, it’s like they’ve found the perfect toy!” 
You’re so proud of yourself for having cracked the case, you want to pump your fist in the air. For a moment, you envision yourself wearing a deerstalker hat and smoking a pipe. Go me! But your victory is short-lived. During your diatribe, the Toymaker’s bright, childish grin had frozen on his face, and remained in place even during your brief mental celebration. But now the smile slowly slips like a mask peeling away from too-tight skin. In its place sits a stormy frown: one which clenches the muscles and wrinkles of the Toymaker’s face into an expression which says ‘insulted’.
“For shame,” says the Toymaker. “That’s twice you’ve accused me of cheating now. You really do me a disservice. I am bound by the Rules of Play, and would never resort to such cheap tricks.”
What the hell…? The Toymaker’s accent is completely different. Where before his voice was a thick soup of faux German, now it is a soft British breeze: a proper, formal accent which speaks the way trees rustle. You gape at him, dumbfounded. 
“Your accent is different,” you can’t help but say. You’re no longer just leaning against the counter—you’re actively pushing into it, with the edge of the countertop pushing into the small of your back.
The Toymaker raises an eyebrow at you, and smirks. “You are not half as stupids as you are ge-lookings,” he says, slipping the German back on like a heavy cloak. “But zen, I know you are playing ein game mit me, aren’t you?” 
You stare at the Toymaker. Something has shifted: the air is thick with a tension you cannot identify, but which you want to run away from. You keep staring, thinking that if you look away from those too-blue eyes for even a moment, you might just lose your grip.
You know for a fact that if you look back at that doll on the shelf, it will look even more like you than before.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say, and you wish you weren’t lying.
The Toymaker laughs his musical laugh and wags his finger in your face. “Sehr naughty!” he says. “Oh, how natürlich dee lies kommen to sie, mein Schatz. You be ge-knowinks how to play games…zis ist ein lecker human mind game, und you are ge-tryings to deceive me.”
His voice slips smoothly back into the British:
“Do you think I don’t know all about your little fantasy?”
Your eyes go wide, and a choked noise escapes your mouth. No. There is no way that this man…this impossible toymaker could possibly know. You were always so careful, so sure to keep it all to yourself! Familiar shame and embarrassment wash over you in a hot wave as the Toymaker looks at you, looks into you, as if he can see the inner workings of your mind. Your mind grabs at the old, familiar justifications the way one might grab a newspaper for modesty if they found themselves naked on a bus. It’s perfectly normal to have fun little flights of fancy. Everyone plays make-believe sometimes, right? “But zey are embarrassing, zese thoughts of yours,” the Toymaker giggles. “Not dee kind of thoughts you can share mit deine Mutter. I am not ge-thinkinks zat you have shared your desires mit ein Partnerin…” There goes the eyebrow again, cocked sardonically to match the wicked curl of his lips. “Is zis true?” You feel nauseous. The firm pressure of the countertop underneath your palms is all that stops you from shaking. It feels as if the Toymaker is probing the inside of your skull, and using those skilled fingers to strip back the whorls of your brain and grab at the fleshy thoughts inside. 
“Get out of my head,” you say quietly.
“Oh, but zis is dee game I ge-likes!” says the Toymaker. “Humans mit zeir internal struggles. Desires mit dee most fun ideas, but you are too ge-frightened to say vot you vant. So you play games mit dein loved ones…dee hunting und dee exasperation. Oh, you simply vill not communicate!"
You don’t know when the Toymaker got so close to you, but now he’s towering over you, with his hands firmly planted on either side of the countertop. You’re close enough to count the spots on his ascot, and examine the year-lines etched around his mouth and eyes. When he smiles those lines crinkle, but not naturally: it’s the way a puppet’s arms reach for the stars when the marionette twists them upwards.
“Okay, you’ve had your fun,” you whisper. “I’ll buy the doll and leave.”
This close, the Toymaker radiates heat. He smells like rose petals and Christmas.
“You could…but zat vould be no fun,” says the Toymaker. “I propose ve solve zis in a more interesting vay…”
The Toymaker waves his hand across your field of vision…and transforms the centre of the toyshop. A small wooden table complete with chairs has popped into existence just in front of the counter. You gape at the sight. How did he do that?! “Let us play ein game,” he says. “If you vin, you can take dee doll free of charge. But if I vin…”
The Toymaker’s smile cracks like the earth preceding a quake.
“You vill stay vith me und play mein games forever!”
You have to give yourself credit for reacting as well as you did. Most people, if they were faced with a crazy fake German man who seems able to read your mind, may have had a breakdown or made a run for the door. But you’ve seen a lot of anime, and you understand that if you are challenged by a handsome, powerful man with magical powers and a delightful hairstyle, you cannot refuse the call. Your brain has shifted from This should be impossible, to It’s game time.  “Alright,” you say slowly. “You’re clearly very powerful. It seems like if I play a game with you, you have far more to gain than I do. A doll isn’t a good enough prize.”
The Toymaker smiles at you. “Ein girl after mein own heart,” he says. “How about zis: if you vin, I vill show you exactly how I make mein dollen, complete vith a demonstration. Zat is generous of me, nein?”
His words are laced with sinister venom, and it’s all you can do not to be poisoned.
“And I’m guessing that if I refuse your game, something terrible would happen to me?”
The Toymaker hums low in his throat. “Hm…not accepting mein game is always ein option…ja, you could do zat. Und yet…” 
You inhale as the Toymaker brings his face terribly close to yours. The skin of his cheek brushes your own. You can feel his soft breath as he whispers into your ear, British once more:
“I know you are so curious as to how I make my dolls. If you leave now, you’ll never know. And I think if you wanted to leave, you would have done so already.”
The Toymaker pulls away from you, leaving you with your face on fire. He’s right. In less than ten minutes, the Toymaker has sussed out your fatal flaw: your damned unstoppable curiosity. There have been countless times where your life would have been improved if you’d kept your nose in your own business…but this is different. The Toymaker isn’t just dangling a carrot: he’s already dug his hooks in you, and you are being reeled in with every second you spend looking into those impossibly blue eyes.
When you next blink, the Toymaker has moved again. He is sitting in one chair, his hands folded primly in front of him.
“Name your challenge,” he says.
You weren’t expecting this: you thought he would have a game in mind. “Any game at all?”
“There isn’t a game I don’t know,” says the Toymaker coolly. “It is common courtesy to allow the guest to pick the party game.”
You can’t help a nervous giggle. “This is a weird kind of party,” you say. 
The Toymaker acknowledges this by inclining his head. “Choose.”
Your mind scrambles over dozens of options. There are so many games…board games, card games, strategy games. Do we need equipment? How long does the game have to be? What games can you play with just two people? That’s when your brain starts to run in a very different direction, and a variety of… game positions …flash through your imagination with impunity.
A flush scalds up your neck. You look at the Toymaker, who raises his eyebrows in a knowing way.
He knows exactly what you’re thinking.
You want to scream.
“Truth or Dare!” you blurt out.
That gets his attention. The Toymaker leans forward, his eyes quizzical. “Zat is non-traditional…yet apt,” he says. “Could it be zat you are ge-vantings me to force zat fantasy out of you, meine Liebchen?”
“No,” you lie. “I want you to tell me what you are, and why you’re doing this to me.”
“Then let’s get down to business,” says the Toymaker. “We take it in turns to ask each other Truth or Dare. A Truth corresponds to a question which must be answered truthfully, and a Dare is an action which must be carried out. The player earns one point for each Truth or Dare successfully completed.”
The Toymaker steeples his fingers together. You can’t pull your eyes away from them.
“If you refuse to complete a Truth or a Dare, or you contravene the rules of the game, you lose a point…and must complete a forfeit.” 
The way he says ‘forfeit’ sends a shiver down your spine. “What kind of forfeit?”
“Oh, dee usual,” says the Toymaker casually. “Somesing difficult or humiliating. I do not ge-liken to pre-plan zese things…I am preferings to be spontaneous.”
You are starting to regret your choice of game. This is a man who knows more about you than you’ve ever told your closest friend…surely a game like Truth or Dare would be pointless for him? So you ask: “Why would you want to play this if you can already tell what I’m thinking?”
The Toymaker frowns. “A good question,” he says. “The Rules of Play prevent me from having any unfair advantage over an opponent. Although my abilities will remain intact, anything which would tilt the game in my favour is out-of-bounds. I am physically incapable of cheating, and would thank you not to bring it up again. There are only two states of being which matter: winning, or losing. I intend to win.”
Fair enough , you think. “And what if I cheat?” you say. “I have a pretty good poker face. If you can’t look inside my head during the game, what if I just lie to you? How could you tell?” 
The Toymaker chuckles, bearing his mouth wide. To your horror, you see there are far, far too many teeth in his mouth.
“I can always tell when someone is lying to me.” 
“Six turns,” you counter, voice trembling. “Whoever has the most points at the end of those turns is the winner. And…you can’t choose Truth or Dare more than twice in a row.”
The Toymaker seems impressed by your game-making skills. “Agreed,” he says. “Let us begin.” 
He snaps his fingers, and all the lights in the toyshop go out. Above, a stagelight snaps into existence, pouring heat and light onto your scalp in a cascade. The Toymaker’s striking features are illuminated by this shift in lighting, casting the lines of his face with the severity of stage makeup. You swallow: he looks divine.
“Would you like to go first?” he asks politely.
“...No,” you say after a moment. “I think that honour should go to the house.”
Your gamble pays off: you realised that the Toymaker is a man with great respect for the rules of the game, and this offer makes him smile.
“How generous,” says the Toymaker. “Truth or Dare?”
“Dare,” you say. 
The Toymaker taps his finger to his lips, considering. Then, he says, “Destroy something precious to you.”
It takes a few seconds for you to really process the Dare. When it hits, you are baffled. What kind of Dare is that? you want to say…but you don’t bother saying it aloud. What kind of toyshop is this—and what kind of ‘toymaker’ is he? All you need to know is reflected in the sadistic gleam in the Toymaker’s eye. This wouldn’t be an ordinary game, and contesting his requests would be fruitless. All you can do is make your move.
You take a deep breath, and reach down into your backpack. You didn’t leave the house this morning planning to bring anything precious to you, but you are a sentimental person by nature, and know you have one item which fits the bill. It’s with great sadness that you pull out a small, ratty teddy bear and place him on the table. The bear is old and beige and dressed in a crimson band leader’s outfit, complete with a hat and red-laced riding boots.
“Oh, ein teddy bear!” laughs the Toymaker, delighted. “How charming. He is quite dee looker, isn’t he?”
“He’s the first bear I ever made,” you say. “I was listening to some 90s British pop music, and the idea for his design just…popped into my head. I scribbled it down and pulled him together from scraps of fabric and repurposed stuffing in just a day. His name’s Neil…I keep him with me for good luck.”
Something about what you said is terribly amusing to the Toymaker, but you don’t know why. “Ein handsome name indeed,” says the Toymaker. “But I am afraid zat vill not be enoughs to ge-save him. Poor Neil. Now…vill you complete your Dare?” 
You take a deep breath. There was no turning back now; you’ve accepted the Toymaker’s game, and the predatory sheen in his eyes tells you that you can no longer just walk away. So you pick up Neil, grab hold of his little teddy bear ears—
And tear his head off, sending stuffing careening all over the table. 
“Oh!” says the Toymaker with a false gasp. “Vot an unfortunate end for poor Neil. I did not know zat you have such ein cruel streak.” 
“Shut up,” you say, trying not to look at Neil’s decapitated corpse.
Even though he’s just a teddy bear, you feel like you’ve just killed a defenceless animal. Neil’s lifeless button-eyes gaze up at you imploringly, as if asking why you’d do such a thing. You knock Neil’s head off the table and focus back on the Toymaker.
“That’s one point to me,” you say. “Truth or Dare?”
The Toymaker grins at you like a shark. “Dare.”
There are a thousand questions ricocheting around your head, but you ask the one which you know will keep you up at night: “Tell me how you did that thing with the doll.”
The violence of the Toymaker’s laughter makes you jump. He actually covers his mouth to quieten himself, but his shoulders shake even so. “Oh nein, nein, nein, you are ge-makings ein mistake!” he says. “You cannot be askings a question ven I have chosen Dare. Oh, meine Schatz, you have your lost your point…and must receive ein forfeit.”
Your veins run cold. “What? No! That was never in the rules!” 
“It is a common rule,” says the Toymaker, suddenly serious. “What is the point of distinguishing between a Truth or Dare, if a Dare can be a Truth?”
You want to protest…but his logic is infuriatingly sound. It’s exactly the kind of argument you could see yourself making if you were playing the game against a friend. You try to think of some other get-out-of-jail-free card—anything which would allow you learn how the Toymaker made that doll look exactly like you—but you come up short. You slump in your chair, and resign yourself to waiting for the next round.
“Oh, do not ge-look so sad,” says the Toymaker. In mock sympathy, he makes a little tutting sound against his teeth. “Now, about zat forfeit…ah! I am ge-knowings just dee sing.”
The Toymaker snaps his fingers…and your clothes burst into a flock of doves.
You scream and leap up from the table, batting away at the birds scrambling over your skin. They coo and and flap in your face before struggling upwards and flying into the rafters. Shocked, you look down to find yourself still fully clothed…but with a wardrobe change. You are now clad in a beautiful, powder-blue dress. The fabric is inhumanly soft and threaded through with white ribbons.
“Oh my God!” you yell. “What did you do?!”
The Toymaker is doing his best to stifle a giggle behind his hand. “Do you like it?” he asks. “I think the colour is rather fetching on you.” 
You clutch at the skirts of your dress, wishing the floor would open up and swallow you whole. There is no way this is possible…you hadn’t felt anything, not even a shift of your own clothes or the sliding of new fabric against your skin. One moment you were wearing your own clothes, and the next you weren’t. It’s as if your clothes were merely a covering, and when they transformed into doves and flapped off, they left only your dress behind. 
You move your legs under the layers of fabric, and blush when you discover you’re wearing a pair of frilly stockings. As you stick out your feet, you can see your feet are clad in a shiny pair of Mary Janes. It’s with a sick feeling in your stomach that you realise what the dress is.
It’s the same dress that the doll on the shelf is wearing.
"You're sick," you hiss.
The Toymaker cocks his head to one side. “Indeed?” he says. “How odd. I thought I was being rather generous, giving you a helping hand towards becoming your true self.” He snickers at you. “If I am sick, then I do wonder what that makes you. My mind is full of games, but the inside of your head is full of so much more.”
You ignore the Toymaker and hold your own arms, shrinking back down into your chair. Yet as you look down at the dress, you can’t help but feel a pang of longing. The dress is a perfect fit, one which could have been custom-designed, and the fabric is truly stunning in appearance and quality. With its puffy sleeves and shapely waistline, you know if you were alone you would have given your new skirts a twirl.
But you can’t let yourself get lost now. This is as much a mind game as it is a real one, you realise. The Toymaker is eyeing you like a piece of meat, and it’s clear that he is capable of so much more than a costume change. You must press on with the game. 
“I want to keep playing,” you say.
“Wonderful,” says the Toymaker. "We’re currently still at zero points each, with two turns down. Unfortunately, your turn was taken due to the forfeit. I must ask you: Truth or Dare?” 
You don’t allow yourself time to think about it: “Dare.” 
The Toymaker’s smile is knowing. “It is a fool’s errand, trying to delay the inevitable. I believe my initial suspicions were correct…you do want the Truth to be pried from you, don’t you? Perhaps that makes the shame a little less potent. After all, the mean, scary Toymaker made you dress this way. It wasn’t your fault…you couldn’t help it. Am I getting warmer?”
Your face is getting warmer, and it’s getting increasingly hard to meet the Toymaker’s gaze. “It isn’t my fault that my opponent is insane,” you say, with venom. 
Somehow, the Toymaker’s laugh is German. “Ah, zere is zat fire. You are quite dee entertaining playmate, meine Liebling. I am not ge-xpectings you to verstand games of dee mind…but I do find zem exhilarating. Dee expressions ge-crossing your face right now…I vish you could see zem.”
You scowl at the Toymaker. “Just give me your Dare.”
The Toymaker shrugs at you. “If you insist. I Dare you…to perform a dance befitting a fine young lady such as yourself.”
Oh, God, no. This is a nightmare of a Dare. “I—I’m not a dancer,” you say. You can feel your blush crawling up your neck. You envision yourself prancing around in your new dolly-dress, and the embarrassment makes you physically cringe.
“Oh, zat is not ein problem!” The Toymaker beckons you to look under the table. When you do, he taps his own shoes against the floor, performing a rhythmic tap-step. “Zose lovely Schuhe I gave you vill ge-helpen sie along. Provided you are villing to perform dee dare, your tanzen is all taken care of. All you are ge-needings to do is stand up, und take drei steps backwards.”
The Toymaker leans back in his chair and looks at you expectantly. The list of excuses which blossomed into your mind when he first suggested the Dare are dwindling rapidly, each one seeming more pathetic than the last. But…maybe there is a way out of this?
“What about music?” you ask. “Surely you can’t expect me to dance without music.” 
The Toymaker shakes his head at you. “Do not ge-worry about dee musik! I have it all covered. Unless…you vish to forfeit once more?” The idea of any other part of your body spontaneously transforming into an animal is enough to make you scramble to your feet. Immediately, you are self-conscious: the dress is equal parts beautiful and ridiculous, and is so poofy and frilly that it gives your lower half the shape of a bell. You haven’t felt this kind of embarrassment since you were in school: the dry throat and sweaty palms before getting up on stage for assembly. Feeling like a silly child, you can’t help but look at the Toymaker, searching those mirthful eyes for guidance. But the Toymaker simply shoos you, indicating for you to step back.  Hesitantly, you take one step away from the table. Then another. Then, one final, gentle step.  Without warning, the floor of the toyshop erupts! From beneath your feet a wooden stage springs up, unfurls around you and traps you like a box. You shriek and try to stumble away, but your new dancing shoes root you firmly to the spot. A spotlight bursts into being above your head and illuminates your frozen self in all your newfound frilly glory.  You look down from your new height to see the Toymaker sitting in what is now the front row of a vast auditorium; the toyshop’s interior has vanished. He whoops and grabs a fistful from a cartoonishly large bucket of popcorn. You open your mouth to yell at him, and maybe call him some horrible names you haven’t thought of yet. But before you can, music starts blaring from all sides of the auditorium. It’s a grating, repetitive tune: some ghastly combination of twee guitar and twinkling piano…and it’s so familiar . You know this song, but what is it? And why does it sound so…childish?  The music hits a powerful note. Your mouth opens unbidden, and from your vocal cords a voice which is decidedly not yours belts out the opening lyric to a familiar nursery rhyme:  “I’m a little teapot, Short and stout!” Your voice is loud and beautiful, and you project better than any Broadway singer. You can do nothing but watch yourself in abject horror as your knees bend in time with the music, and your shiny shoes send you toppling along the stage in time with the song.  “Here is my handle Here is my spout!” You try to scream and stop, but your body is no longer in your control. Your arms bend at frightening angles, and your hips send your neck careening to the side with a crack . A rictus grin is firmly plastered onto your face, and your mouth stays open and singing: “When I get all steamed up, Hear me SHOUT!…” Your hands flap and your toes point and you screaming on the inside, begging for this to stop, stop, STOP ! But the infernal music is inside of your head and it’s pushing in on all sides, and no matter how much you cry and beg and plead your mouth won’t work except to belt out the final words of your song. “TIP me over and POUR. ME. OUT!” At the last line, your knees give out and you collapse face-first onto the stage. A grand cheer goes up from the auditorium. You twist around, trying to see if the Toymaker has conjured up an audience to witness your humiliation—but he is the only one present. The Toymaker is on his feet and giving you a standing ovation. “Vunderbar!” the Toymaker cries as he claps enthusiastically. “Oh, you are dee most darling little teapot, ja. Zis is a fine game we are ge-havings!”
“What—did—you—do?” you gasp on the floor. You feel like your lungs have been crushed. Something the Toymaker did seized up everything inside of you and folded them up like paper. Now it’s as if you really are a doll: crumpled up and discarded in the corner when your owner is finished playing with you. Although you’re quite sure the music has stopped, the melody is blasting in your head in a maddening loop. You try to move, but your legs won’t work. 
“Oh, don’t be zo dramatik. Eversing I ge-make brings viele fun,” says the Toymaker. “Herzlichen Glückwunsch …das ist ein point to you.”
You don’t see the Toymaker get up on the stage, but the next thing you know, he’s crouching down next to you. Without warning, the Toymaker lifts you up under the arms and pulls you to your feet as if you weigh nothing at all. You try to stand but your rigid muscles struggle with the task and you stumble, falling right into the Toymaker’s chest. He chuckles, and you hear it rumbling softly in his chest. His skin is impossibly warm…and you can’t hear a heartbeat.
The two of you stand like that for a long moment, with you enveloped in the Toymaker’s arms. When pressed against his waistcoat, the maddening song infesting your brain quietens, and is replaced with an easy sort of calm. It’s strange…all the questions and anger and terror seem to just burn away. They’re forgotten in the simplicity of being held like a doll.
Eventually, your senses kick in. You manage to pull yourself away from the Toymaker, and you refuse to look at his face. “I just want to get on with the game.”
“Of course.”
The Toymaker waves his hand and the stage and auditorium vanish. You are transported back to the interior of the toyshop, with its familiar cuddly audience and the table taking centre stage. You sit back down at the table shakily. You know when you look up the Toymaker will already be sitting across from you…and you’re right, even though you didn’t see or hear him pull back his chair. His eyes are bright and curious. 
“Okay…Truth or Dare?”
The Toymaker places his hand on his chin and pretends to be deep in thought. After a while, he says, “Truth."
You very nearly ask him the same question you were denied just before: how was he able to make that doll look exactly like you? But the momentary calm offered by the Toymaker’s embrace has had a quieting effect on your mind, and a spike in your critical thinking skills. You have to think strategically; if you want to win, you need to ask him a question which will throw him off-guard. Asking him about the doll wouldn’t be a challenge because he likes to gloat, and to tease. But if you win, you can have your answer to that question and an actual demonstration…
…plus, you get to keep your freedom. Don’t forget that.
So you stare at the Toymaker and wonder…what causes a man (creature, entity, etc.) to end up this way?
“Tell me about your childhood,” you say.
The smile is wiped from the Toymaker’s face in an instant. His mouth twists in discomfort and anger. For the first time since you’ve met him, you feel a pleasant curl of satisfaction in your guts. The game is on, you think.
“What’s wrong?” you ask out loud. “Do you have a problem with the question? Because you can always forfeit—”
“I. Will. Not. Lose.”
The Toymaker’s fists are on the table now: they’re clenched and shaking. Although he’s looking at you, his mind seems far away, trapped somewhere else. After a beat, he leans forward, grabs your head and brings your foreheads together so they’re just barely touching.
“You asked for this,” says the Toymaker gravely. “I will do more than give you the answer to your question. I will show you. Close your eyes.”
The closeness is invigorating: the Toymaker’s hands are strong against the sides of your head, and you wonder for a second if he could pop your skull like a balloon. You consider saying no and demanding he just tell you the answer, but the look on the Toymaker’s face is so intense that you cannot refuse. It’s that terrible curiosity in you, willing you to stand at the edge of the universe and take a step off the cliff.
So you do as your bid, and close your eyes…
…only to awaken in a void.
To say there is nothing around you is an understatement. Your idea of nothingness is very particular: blackness; emptiness, an absence of sound and light. But this is something else entirely. You can’t even feel the lack of something in this place because there simply isn’t anything to feel. From the moment you open your eyes you feel the contradiction of yourself as a physical being, standing in this vacant not-space. There is less than nothing here. There is zilch. There is negative zero. There is null.
You try to get your bearings by looking around, but there are no bearings to get. This is a nothingness which exists beyond your comprehension. Just standing in this nothingness makes your jaw tighten and the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. This is a phobic realm which is the antithesis to life.
And it is so, so cold. 
“This is where I grew up.”
You jump. The Toymaker is standing beside you, arms folded behind his back. He surveys the nothingness with humble respect, the way a weary sailor surveys the ocean.
“How?” You try looking around again, but without anything to anchor gaze on, your eyes just swing back round to the Toymaker. “There’s nothing here.” 
“Nothing except for me.”
The Toymaker sits down on the emptiness, cross-legged. Feeling discombobulated in the lack of space, you sit down too, next to him, and wonder how that’s possible. You hug your elbows, trying to fend off the omnipresent cold.
“We are outside of your universe,” says the Toymaker quietly. “Below it, as a matter of fact. We are in a pocket realm, like the hollow in a tree branch. Here there was nothing for a very long time…so long, that I do not know how to count it. The void is indifferent to such concepts.
“I was a child for an eternity, and many more eternities after that. Merely a conscious speck suspended in forever. At the time I had no form. No body, no face, and not really a mind. I was a collection of distant ideas and fraught, base emotions. There was no reason for me to have either a solid shape or a brain. I existed only in relation to the void, and the void went on forever. All I had to entertain myself were my games.”
With a flick of the wrist, the Toymaker conjures a ball into existence. Then another. Then another. He does this over and over again until he is juggling at least twenty balls. His hands move in a blur as he juggles the balls effortlessly. He tosses them higher and higher, so high that you have to crane your neck to see. Eventually you lose sight of the balls in the nothingness.
But then, the Toymaker sighs…and you notice that the balls are disappearing. This continues for about a minute, the balls growing fewer in number until he’s down to just three…and then there’s only two, so he’s not really juggling at all.
Finally, the Toymaker catches the last remaining ball and holds it up to your face. A frost has grown along its leathery side.
“Playing games can keep you warm,” says the Toymaker, “but only for a little while. Eventually, the cold gets in. And the cold devours everything."
“How did you survive here?” you ask quietly. You can’t raise your voice above a whisper: it feels disrespectful.
“Death isn’t something I am capable of experiencing,” says the Toymaker. “I can never die from the cold. But I can still feel it.” 
The Toymaker looks at the ball in his hand, and it catches fire. You gasp and pull away, but the fire only burns for a few seconds: the flames are quickly extinguished by a new crop of frost, growing over the ball’s surface like a disease.
In moments, the Toymaker is holding nothing but a ball of ice.
“I’m…sorry,” you say.
It’s a feeble reply, and you know it. The cold here is wrapped into the environment itself. This no-space could well be made of nothing but a creeping, insidious chill. It’s worse than the kind of cold which slams into you, like the jump from the shower to a towel on a winter night, or the way your cheeks are slapped when stepping outside on a snowy day.
This cold is sinister. 
It waits.
It seeks out warmth wherever it can, wraps itself around that spark of heat, and crushes it frozen.
The Toymaker runs hot, you remember with a shiver.
No wonder. The Toymaker fends off your weak sympathies with a shake of his head. He stares off into the nothingness, and continues to speak.
“I thought it would just be me and the void forever. But then one day, I heard laughter! It was a sound utterly foreign to me. I was so frightened, I spent millennia curled tight up into a ball, cringing away from the sound. But I could hear them now…beings, with shape and light and thoughts. As the epochs stretched before me and the void remained still, I found myself drawn to their laughter.”
The Toymaker’s eyes glitter with recollection. “I learnt how to poke small peepholes into the fabric of the void, and peer through at the shapes. And oh, the things I saw! These beings, they played games , just like me! Games which used pieces and strategies and all manner of wonderful toys. I wanted to have them all. Needed to have them. So I did. I fashioned myself fingers, and with those fingers I fashioned toys and toys and toys, enough to fill up every child’s toy room in every universe!"
You watch as the Toymaker trembles with excitement. His voice has swollen to fit the void: a rallying cry against the darkness. He looks so proud of himself…but only for a moment. 
“After a while, my toys grew old,” he says sadly. “They say a boy becomes a man when he must throw his toys onto the fire in order to keep himself warm...and the cold never stops. I realised that wood and string were all well and good, but they had no personality of their own…and I had no opponent.”
The Toymaker turns to you then. There’s a manic look in his eye. “So I began to lure in the flesh-and-blood creatures,” he says. “It was easy enough once I learned to assume their shape…especially the early ones, who weren’t so bright. And what shapes I would become! I enjoy this shape so much that I’ve decided to keep it permanently, with the odd touch-up every half-century or so. Being handsome helps bring in the players.”
There goes that easy wink again, smooth and charming and drawing you in like the lure on an anglerfish.
“And…that’s why you’re here today?” you ask. “You just want to play games with us?” 
The Toymaker’s laugh is mean. “Don’t flatter yourself,” he says. “All that exists is to win, or to lose. I don’t want to play games with you. I simply want to win.”
The two of you stand in silence for a while, contemplating the nothingness. The longer you stay, the more you can feel the chill sliding its icy fingers over your flesh. It crawls up your socks and settles into the gaps behind your knees. It causes wet, cold dew to form at the edges of your eyelashes. It even seeps into the spaces between your skin and fingernails.
You wish you hadn’t asked for this Truth.
“One point to you, Toymaker,” you say through chattering teeth.
The Toymaker starts: clearly he’d forgotten all about you. The void has a sobering effect on him, it seems. How did a little boy manage to have any imagination in this place at all? “Yes,” says the Toymaker with a worn smile. “One point each.”
The next time you blink, the void is gone. You are returned to the familiar warmth of the toyshop, and are still sitting at the table across from the Toymaker. But now, even as the cold sloughs off your skin and your cheeks begin to heat up again, you can see the toyshop for what it is. The bright lights and colourful attractions are nothing more than decorative wallpaper for a frozen, ephemeral darkness, ever-creeping in on the corners of your vision.
When the Toymaker speaks again, his German is back in full force, and you wonder if he’s trying to stave off how frightened he really is.
“Zat is vier turns down,” he says. “Mit only zwei to go. I ge-believe it is my turn, ja?”
Oh, hell: he’s right. You’d gotten so caught up in the impossibility of the Toymaker’s mind that you’d forgotten you’re playing a very dangerous game. But the Toymaker’s smile looks fake now, and the way his eyes glimmer seems less like mischief, and more like withheld tears. For the first time you want to stop this game…not just for you, but for the Toymaker too.
But that’s not how this would be played. The rules are fixed, and you’ve seen what the consequences could be. Worse, you only have one response left to give. By the way the Toymaker is grinning at you, you know he’s remembered this rule too.
“Truth or Dare?” he asks.
You swallow, before giving the only answer you can: “Truth.”
The Toymaker laughs a little too loud. “Now, you had better nots ge-try to get out of zis one,” he says. “I vant you to tell me dee truth: vot exactly is your fantasy? I vill be requiring details.” 
There it is: the question this whole game has been building up to. This situation is impossible and ridiculous. Here you sit, surrounded by beautiful toys in your gorgeous dress, playing a game with an unbelievable, broken man who can rewrite your entire reality with nothing more than a thought. Yet you still can’t just open your mouth and give him the answer. Somehow, even in the face of impossible adversity, you are still beholden to your human embarrassment.
“If I tell you…” you say slowly. “...Do you promise not to laugh?” 
The Toymaker’s eyebrows knit together. He looks distressed by the question. “All players should be treated with respect,” he replies.
That’s not the answer I want, but it’s the only answer he can give , you think. But maybe that’s the key here. You would never willingly part with this information…but the Toymaker just did the same thing for you. He didn’t have to show you where he came from. He could have talked around it, given you the crib notes, and you would have been none the wiser. The Toymaker showed you vulnerability just by allowing you into his history.
You owe him that same level of respect.
“I didn’t get much attention when I was growing up,” you say. “It wasn’t a bad upbringing, but I was just kind of…left, a lot of the time. I wasn’t looked after. There was always some sort of problem that needed fixing, and my parents never had time for me. No one bothered to check on me, so I just had to figure things out for myself. I spent most of my time alone in my room…just me and my toys.”
“That sounds familiar,” says the Toymaker, and the sympathy in his voice is real. “How did you pass your time?”
“I took my toys apart,” you say. “I think my parents felt guilty for leaving me alone a lot, so there was never a shortage of toys. But I wanted to figure out how they worked. That seemed much more interesting than actually playing with them, you know?” 
The Toymaker smiles with approval. “Dee keen eye of a toymaker is a gift,” he says. “But I sense you are delaying your real story…” 
You curse inwardly: again, he’s right. You cannot hide any longer.
“I took apart all of my toys…except for my dolls.”
That gets the Toymaker’s attention: those bright blue eyes light up with interest. “Go on.”
“I had a set of five dolls,” you say quietly. “Generic dolls. Sparkly, brushable hair, and little swappable outfits. Nothing special. But even when I was really small I couldn’t hurt them. I was terrified of damaging them in any way. There weren’t any other kids around to talk to, and my parents weren’t home, so I just…talked to the dolls instead. I knew it was weird, but in my head the dolls were more sentient than my other toys. I thought they could really understand me.”
The Toymaker starts back up in his German voice: “Ah, zere is nothing more ge-saddening zan a lonely Kind. Zat is why decapitating poor Neil vas being no problem for you, zen?” 
“Yeah. It still hurt, but not for the reasons it would hurt most people.” You swallow; this is the really difficult part. “The older I got, the more toys I had, but I never added to my doll collection. My parents would joke all the time about how I was becoming a ‘little lady’. When I became a teenager there was so much pressure to be pretty, and girly…and it made me feel sick. So I tried to fight back against it. I cut my hair, I swore off pink, and I wouldn’t be caught dead in a dress.”
The words stick in your throat. You look up at the Toymaker, hoping for some kind of mercy, but you don’t find it. But he isn’t mocking you, either: he just sits and waits for you to continue.
“I locked my dolls away,” you say. “I pretended I had thrown them out…but secretly, I’d sneak them out, and play with them. I’d brush their hair, and mend their dresses. I still do.”
The Toymaker leans in. “Why?”
“I…I wanted to be like them,” you whisper. “They are so pretty. The long, flowing dresses and the perfect makeup…they’re dazzling in a way I could never be. I can never, ever be that beautiful.”
You twist the fabric of your dress between your fingers fitfully, and force yourself to say it: 
“I always wanted to be someone’s favourite doll."
There’s silence in the toyshop. You stare down at your lap, your heart pounding and your face flushed. Stupid, stupid…! Your eyes well up with hot tears. You can’t bring yourself to look at the Toymaker.
“Und zen you arrive here,” he says. “Meine beautiful dollen drew you in.”
“Yes,” you say quietly. “If I can’t be loved like a doll, then at least I can give them love instead. If I were a doll, maybe things would be easier, you know? Maybe…”
You can’t help the little choke-sob which escapes your lips.
“...maybe someone would take care of me."
The tears fall freely into your lap now and stain the beautiful fabric of your dress dark. You feel disgusting: worthy of ridicule. I deserve whatever happens to me now, you think, your brain awash with old, dark feelings you’ve kept locked up just like the dolls in your closet.
But it’s the Toymaker who snaps you out of his reverie. You didn’t hear him move, but you flinch when his fingers slide under your chin and tilt up your face towards him. Your tears cast him in a watery halo.
“Mein Liebling, stop ge-crying,” he says. “I have made sehr many dollen over dee years, und many of zem have been beautiful. But you are somesing else entirely entirely. Ein living, breathing, villing doll, so cute und poseable. Oh, you und I vill have zo many adventures together! You could be mein prized possession, und I vill hold you and play vith you from dawn zu dusk.”
The Toymaker’s words send a shudder through your body. Blood thrums at the surface of your skin and pools in your cheeks and neck. The Toymaker leans in until your noses are almost touching. He’s so very close to you now…close enough that he could kiss you. 
But just before he reaches your lips, the Toymaker moves to the side and whispers into your ear:
“Dee game is not yet over, meine schöne dollen. You have one final question to ge-ask of me. Do it, und zis vill all be over…one vay or another.”
You can feel him smiling gently against your hair, and it makes you want to sob. Oh, please let this torture end…! But you’re in the Toymaker’s grasp now, in the final throes of his game, and you know you have to finish this or your suffering will never be over. There is only one turn left. You have to try, one last time, or you would spend the rest of your life at the beck and call of this madman.
“Truth or Dare?” you manage to croak out.
The Toymaker lets your face go. “Dare."
You take a deep breath. This is your last chance.
“Let me go.”
The Toymaker takes a long, long moment to process your answer…and then he starts to laugh. Really, really hard. The tinkling arpeggio of his laughter builds and builds until it seems to shake the very walls of the toyshop. For a moment, you are terrified that it’s all going to come crumbling down like a house of cards.
“Oh, perhaps becoming ein dollen hast eroded deine brain, ja?” says the Toymaker, the arrogance flashing in his teeth. “I am not ein genie you kann outsmarts. I am afraid zat since letting you go ist your prize, you cannot request it of me. So, you have lost ein point, putting us at a tie…und you must complete ein forfeit once more.”
No. No. NO! “That’s not fair!” you yell. The tears are streaming down your face in earnest now; all of the distress of this game and the Toymaker’s psychological torment can no longer be contained. 
“Oh, und here comes dee tantrum,” says the Toymaker with a sigh. “I hates it ven zey get like zis. You must have ein forfeit…und I think I have dee perfekt idea to stop your ge-crying.”
The Toymaker snaps his fingers again. You open your mouth to scream at him…but nothing comes out.
You try again, but your mouth just flops open like a fish, with no sound attached to it whatsoever.
The Toymaker has stolen your voice. 
“I have assisted you in another core aspect of your doll transformation,” says the Toymaker, the British swooping in over his tongue with ease. “I do not think most dolls can talk, do you?”
You awful…! But the words can’t even die on your tongue, because they never reach your tongue in the first place. There is a total disconnect between your mouth and your brain. Although you can fashion your lips into the correct shapes and try to push the air into forming syllables, none of them can escape your mouth.
The Toymaker has silenced you, taking away perhaps your only remaining asset in this game.
You mentally tally up the points, and realise he’s right. You are now tied, and six turns have passed. 
“But I cannot tolerate a tie. Dee rules dictate zat ve must perform a tie-breaker challenge…” His accent ripples between the German and British easily, as if he can’t decide between childish delight and cool professionalism. “Do you have any suggestions for a tie-breaker?"
The devastation of losing your voice almost made you look over this detail. Yes, he’s right: for all of your suffering, the Toymaker hasn’t actually managed to get a point over you. That means all is not lost.
That means you still have a chance to win.
But you cannot strategise in a vacuum: much less when you can’t speak. The Toymaker looks at you in amusement, as if expecting you to try and talk anyway. You could have written a message down on a piece of paper, or typed it on your phone, but you decide not to give him the satisfaction. The Toymaker has already gotten you on the rules twice: you are going to play within his boundaries and win fair and square. 
You don’t see where he produces the hat from. A flourish of the arm, and it’s suddenly in his hands: a beautiful top hat which would have gone perfectly with a tuxedo. The Toymaker flips the hat over and proffers it to you.
“Ladies first,” he says with a sly smile. 
You reach into the hat and are surprised to find a variety of small, paper tickets. After some rustling around, you pull one out and read it. When you do, your eyes go wide.
WHOEVER HOLDS THEIR BREATH THE LONGEST IS THE WINNER.  “Vot fun!” exclaims the Toymaker, clapping his hands together in excitement. “I must ge-varn you, I am a very gut schwimmer, and kann hold mein breath for ein long time.” 
But do you even have a lung capacity?! is what you would have asked if you could. How was this fair? The Toymaker is clearly an extradimensional being, and his physical body doesn’t seem to conform to the laws of physics, space or time…anything that would put a real challenge to this game. But you can’t say so: you have no way of telling him.
Besides…is it cheating if that’s just how he is? Is it cheating if he’s just better at the game?
A loud tick-tocking draws your eye to the right side of the toyshop. Against the wall (where it definitely didn’t exist before) is a grandfather clock. Both of the clock’s hands are almost at the 12. This was news to you; you’d arrived at the toyshop sometime around 8pm.
“Ve vill begin when ze clock strikes twelve,” says the Toymaker. “Zere are no fancy rules…ve just start ge-holdings our breath, until eins of us cannot anymore.”
The grandfather clock ticks closer to your demise. You look at the Toymaker in desperation, clasping your hands together in a silent plea…but he just looks at you coolly. Now, you are nothing but an opponent to defeat. You are an obstacle ready to be demolished. 
Well, I am not helpless. If anyone is going to decide the winner of this game, it’s going to be me. With only thirty seconds remaining, you fish around in the pocket of your backpack and pull out your phone. You set up your video camera, prop the phone up against a toy monkey holding a pair of cymbals, and hit the record button.
“Ah,” says the Toymaker. “In case of ein photo-finish. Gut idea.”
There’s a cold fire in his eyes now: something which ignited when he took you into his personal void. You have no moves left, and no gameplay strategies to implement. It is clear that he is the master of games, and you may as well already be his doll. 
But hell, you are going to try your best.
The grandfather clock strikes twelve with a loud, booming chime, and you suck in the largest breath of your life. You don’t balloon out your cheeks: instead you opt for a subtle approach learnt from musical training, where you draw in the oxygen deep into your lungs and will it to sit there for as long as you can handle.
By comparison, the Toymaker doesn’t look like he’s holding his breath at all. You merely hear him stop breathing. He looks totally at ease.
The first ten seconds are child’s play.
The first twenty seconds are fine.
The first thirty seconds are acceptable.
But by the forty-second mark a playful fire start to burn in your chest, and the urge to take a breath begins to beg. Inside you curse yourself, wishing that you’d practised— but why on earth would I have practised such a useless game?! You look at the Toymaker. Big mistake. He waggles his eyebrows at you silently, rippling them in an over-the-top-sultry manner. You feel your lips quirking up into a smile…You can’t believe it! He’s trying to make you laugh!
So much for respecting the rules, you think to yourself. Your chest is really starting to hurt now. But then you wonder, is that really cheating? If the Toymaker can try to make you laugh, what if you can make him laugh too? But you shut down that idea immediately: if you prancing around in a frilly dress singing I’m A Little Teapot didn’t make him laugh (just clap!), you didn’t have a chance in hell.
Oh no. What is he doing now? While trying to focus on holding your breath, the Toymaker had conjured two familiar puppets on the ends of his hands: Punch and Judy. With a final, victorious wink, the Toymaker begins a silent, over-the-top slapstick routine with the puppets. Even without dialogue you recognise the beats of the show; Mr Punch is a mess of a man, overwhelmed by the demands of his wife and baby (the latter brought into being with a tiny, adorable puppet the Toymaker wears on one of his thumbs). His hands move with such finesse that the puppets almost look real.
Such a gaudy routine wouldn’t have been enough to make you laugh by itself, but the Toymaker brings a whole new dimension with his wonderfully expressive face. Each time the long-suffering Judy begins a voiceless tirade of her husband (i.e., throwing little puppet-objects at his face), the Toymaker supplements Punch’s depression with a frown worthy of a theatre mask. When Punch manages to land a hit on his wife or baby (My God, were these shows always so violent?), the Toymaker grins with such deranged glee that you can’t help but find it hilarious.
Oh no. You look at the clock: it’s been a minute, and your chest is really starting to hurt. The Toymaker and his puppets make your cheeks puff out with the effort of not laughing.
He smirks at you as Punch picks up his wife and baby and tosses them into the air, punting them like footballs. It’s so absurd and ridiculous that you can feel the giggle rising up in your chest. You desperately want to open your mouth and suck in oxygen but you can’t, you simply can’t, because if you do you’ll lose the game and he’ll keep you here forever…!
As your remaining seconds tick closer to your inevitable failure, you close your eyes. You want to have one last moment to remember yourself as you are, because you are sure whatever the Toymaker is going to do to you will not be pleasant.
Your chest aches. Your cheeks bulge. Your will starts to unravel.
And then, you have the idea.
It’s a stupid idea, and with barely any seconds left to execute it, you have no guarantee that it will work. But as you open your eyes and look at the Toymaker’s smug ‘I’ve already won!’ expression, you know you have no choice but to follow through with your mad plan.
So, holding on to every last bit of breath you have, you lunge at the Toymaker—
—and envelop him in a bone-crushing hug.
Several things happen at once:
The first is the Toymaker exclaiming in surprise, his breath clearly lost, and dropping his puppets, which dissolve into ash as soon as they hit the floor. 
The second is your desire to breathe finally overpowering you as you collapse against the Toymaker, and the two of you tumble to the floor. 
The third is the grandfather clock exploding. Just as you hit the ground the clock bursts apart, firing out wooden shrapnel with a horrifying bang! On reflex you huddle yourself against the nearest form of safety, which in this case happens to be the Toymaker’s chest.
You weren’t expecting him to hold you back.
The two of you stay like that for some time: you and the Toymaker, on the floor together, breathing heavily and wrapped up in each other’s arms. Despite your own adrenaline, you can’t understand the Toymaker’s terror: surely he caused the clock to blow up? He certainly wasn’t in any danger.
But then you hear a sound you couldn’t hear before. It’s the thrumming of the Toymaker’s heart, loud and insistent and desperate to survive. You hear it through the fabric of his waistcoat, and feel it in the pulse of his neck. For just a moment, the Toymaker seems to be just as human as you.
You wonder if the Toymaker’s mortality is contextual.
Eventually, you manage to disentangle yourself from the Toymaker’s limbs. You peek at the smoking remains of the grandfather clock, and are relieved to see that nothing has caught fire: there’s just a scorched, black mark where the clock once existed. The shards of wood which exploded out from the clock have disappeared.
Thankfully, your phone is untouched! You pick it up, pause the recording and watch it back. A smile stretches across your face.
“Oh, Toymaker!” you say, and you are so very pleased that your voice has returned. “You’re going to want to take a look at this.” 
When the Toymaker climbs to his feet, you are immensely amused to see that his perfect curls have been knocked a bit by the explosion. For the first time since you met, the Toymaker is dishevelled and confused. It’s a cute look on you, you think.
“You broke my game,” says the Toymaker incredulously. “How did you do that?”
“No idea,” you grin. “Maybe it was an unexpected outcome. Still within the rules, still a valid way to win, just…unorthodox.”
You show the Toymaker the recording. You watch as his expression turns from bafflement, to despair, to outright blazing anger.
“No!” the Toymaker cries. “You can’t have beat me!”
But the camera never lies. The footage on your phone clearly picks up the Toymaker gasping in shock as soon as you hit him with your hug…whilst you don’t gasp for air until a few seconds later, just before the grandfather clock explodes.
“Seems like I have!” you say happily.
“But I…you…” The Toymaker’s fingers flex in the air meaninglessly, as if looking for a straw to grasp. “But that’s cheating!” 
“No it isn’t,” you say with confidence. “There was nothing in the rules about us not being able to make each other lose our breath. If you making me laugh was a valid strategy, then me hugging you was too. Either we both cheated, or no one did.”
The Toymaker looks like he’s been slapped, and it is a delicious feeling. You almost want to pinch his cheeks. With a pout fixing his lips, the Toymaker snaps his fingers…and your clothes return to normal. Your dress is gone, replaced by the clothes you entered the shop with.
(Is it a little silly to be regretful of that fact…?)
“I still say that shouldn’t count,” says the Toymaker sullenly. “That was an underhanded tactic. I’ll be writing that into the rules next time.”
But you’ve turned away from the Toymaker now—he obviously needs to work through his sore-loser feelings in his own time. You trot over to the doll shelf, pick up the beautiful doll in the powder-blue dress and cradle her in your arms. She truly is a wonderful prize.
When you turn back around, the Toymaker is sitting on the floor with his hands hugging his knees. You feel a pang of sympathy for the man…it seems this really is his whole life.
“But why did you hug me?” the Toymaker asks, baffled. “That’s not a winning strategy. You just surprised me. You were so…”
The Toymaker looks up at you with shining eyes. This time, his eyes really are wet with tears.
“...Warm,” he whispers.
The triumph of your win quickly sours on your tongue. The way the Toymaker is looking at you gives you a powerful feeling…and it’s not one that you like. Even though every part of you is telling you to make a run for the door while you have this post-win window…you don’t.
Instead, you sit down cross-legged on the floor next to the Toymaker, just like you did when in the void. You even bump your shoulder against his.
“I’ve been sad a lot in my life,” you say. “But I’ve never felt as much sadness as I did in your void. And it made me wonder if…you’d ever been held before.”
The Toymaker looks at you with flashing eyes. His bottom lip trembles as if he’s trying to hold back a lifetime of grief. He doesn’t say anything, but those eyes tell you all you need to know. 
“I wouldn’t mind coming around here sometimes,” you say gently.
The Toymaker looks at you like you’ve got two heads. “You would voluntarily subject yourself to my life-or-death games?”
“Maybe not the life-or-death part,” you say hastily. “But I had fun today. Weird, horrible fun. You’re kind of a weird and horrible guy…and I’m pretty weird too.”
To your surprise, the Toymaker actually laughs at that. “You are unique, meine Liebling,” he says, German once more. “To out-ge-smart me, you must be.”
“Well…maybe it’s a good thing we met,” you say. “Maybe you don’t need to keep luring in suspecting people to your shop, Toymaker. Some of us might actually want to stick around and play. And maybe…”
You rest your head against the Toymaker’s shoulder.
“...Maybe I could help keep the cold out for a while.” 
The Toymaker and you sit in silence for some time, listening to the gentle whirs and clicks of the toys going about their business. You keep your new doll tucked between your legs, and your cheek resting against the Toymaker’s shoulder. He’s so warm that you find your eyelids fluttering: you could easily fall asleep right here.
It’s a surprise when you feel the Toymaker’s fingers sliding into your own. You look at him, and see those telling blue eyes alive with fresh excitement.
“It’s a deal,” says the Toymaker, with an enormous, brilliant smile.
You let the Toymaker pull you to your feet. To your amusement, he grants you a deep, formal bow.
“Run along now, meine Schatz…today must have been ge-xhausting for you. But I shall be seeing you again soon, ja?"
Other people would not have caught it, but you know what loneliness sounds like: you hear the edge of desperation at the edge of the Toymaker’s voice. You take a step back and return the bow with a curtsey.
“Ja, genau,” you grin.
The Toymaker’s smile could have outshone the sun.
That night, when you return home, you take all of your dolls out of your closet. You line them up with care on your shelf, making sure to pose them prettily and smooth out the creases in their frocks.
But you keep your new doll in your hand, and clamber into bed with her. Before you turn out the light, you look one last time at her perfect, dimpled face.
Oh, what games will you and the Toymaker play next?
235 notes · View notes
itsbeeble · 1 year ago
Text
Down? Astronomically.
Summary: Sangyeon doesn't like sweets. That doesn't stop him from visiting you and your bakery every single thing and leaving with the one thing he hates.
Genre: smut, fluff, mild angst
Pairing: idol!Sangyeon x bakery owner!afab!reader
Fic Warnings: Sickeningly sweet (bah dum tsss) fluff, strangers to simps to lovers, mild mild angst, mentions of food, Sangyeon's cringey as hell actually (like he's down BAD down bad)
WC: ~6.4k (oops)
18+ MDNI, AGELESS BLOGS DNI
SMUT WARNINGS BELOW THE CUT
Smut Warnings: y/n definitely has an oral fixation, soft dom!Sangyeon, pussy drunk!Sangyeon, y/n drunk!Sangyeon (he’s down astronomically bad your honor), he’s like obsessed with everything about her, public sex (they fuckin in the bakery 💪 but it’s closed and the lights are (mostly) off lmfao), standing by big dick!Sangyeon until the day I die, hair pulling, tummy bulge bc why not, lowkey size kink hdjgfsj, uhhhh p in v sex (protected. yall better wrap that shit); i think that's it but lmk if i missed anything.
A/N: 5 months and 6.4k words later and this sangyeon rec is done. anon i'm so sorry for the wait i'm so horrible. Also thank you to pookie (Fawn) for beta reading half of this but she had to bail and I told yall 3:30 so.... yuh. Also this is the first time I've written smut since Doll so please don't be harsh on me i'm sorry if it's bad
~
Sangyeon doesn’t exactly know when he started coming to your bakery. He doesn’t even like sweets, so why does he keep showing up in the dead of night and leaving with several boxes filled with sweets and a piece of cake stuffed into his mouth?
You.
Gorgeous, kind, brilliant, sweet, you. Coincidence? He thinks not. 
At first, he’d started going because Eric had recommended the coffee. And then he met you, stumbling out of the kitchen with a smear of pink frosting on your cheek, a dye-stained apron, and strands of hair slipping out of your tight bun and clinging to your forehead. He didn’t believe in love at first sight, but seeing you in that near-disastrous state, yelling at the poor cashier? God, maybe he should start believing. 
Down bad, Sunwoo had called him a while ago when Sangyeon had dragged him along on his nightly coffee trip. Down horrendous, actually. Sangyeon had forced him to carry all four boxes of treats you’d sent home with him, ignoring how the younger member of the group had whined about how sore his arms were going to be. No, he didn’t pay any attention as he sent the boy along. All of his attention was on you, watching you wipe down the counter and talk about how busy your day had been. 
In the end, he’d only left because Jacob kept calling, begging him to come back to the company to get the boys back in order. 
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite regular!” You’re beaming at him when he walks in the door, your hand placed on the shoulder of Hyejin, a younger and newer employee. You shooed her away, ignoring her questioning of who this mysterious man with a hat and mask on was. When the door to the kitchen shuts and you’re sure she isn’t coming back out, you circle the counter to stand in front of Sangyeon. “I’m assuming you want your normal order?” 
Sangyeon ignores the buzzing in his body when you call him your favorite.
Sangyeon quirks an eyebrow, and though his face is hidden for the most part, you can see his hat shift with the tensing of the muscles in his forehead.
“You have my order memorized?” His tone is teasing, and you feel your cheeks warm. 
“Well, I mean- you just- you’re here every day, and- and I just-” you stumble over your words, a low laugh from the man in front of you causing your cheeks to go from pink to red in an instant.
“I’m kidding,” Sangyeon promises, nudging your side with his elbow while he moves to the register. “I think I would be offended if you didn’t know my order by now.” You hum, a delicate and angelic sound that has Sangyeon feeling fuzzy. He forces the feeling away, tapping his card on the screen in front of him. It lags for a moment, and you awkwardly tap the screen to get it to move faster. Sangyeon smiles, watching you repeatedly try to tuck nonexistent hairs behind your ear. 
He leans forward, placing his elbows on the counter and peering up at you. You don’t meet his eyes.
“Do I make you nervous, Y/N?” You shake your head, and he clicks his tongue. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not nervous,” you insist, now slapping the screen, “this stupid thing is just- it’s just slow and I feel bad about taking up your time. I know you’re really busy-” 
Sangyeon cuts you off again. “I’m never too busy for you, cupcake.” You freeze, and the machine dings. Sangyeon’s eyes squeeze shut. Why the fuck would you say that? What moron says that?
“I-” you pause, drumming your fingers on the counter. “Your order will be out in a few minutes. Hyejin will bring everything to you.” 
He inhales, ready to apologize, but you’re gone by the time he can form words. The swinging kitchen door is his only indicator of where you’ve gone, and he mentally kicks himself. 
Across the counter, Hyejin clears her throat. 
“Iced latte for…Yeonnie?” Her voice lifts at the end, almost disturbed at the name on the cup. Sangyeon walks over, hesitantly grabbing the drink. “I’ll be right out with your boxes.”
“Not necessary,” he shakes his head. “I don’t need them-”
“Too bad,” the young girl purses her lips. “Y/N won’t let me leave until they’re gone so…”
“Oh…”
“Plus, I’m pretty sure she makes so much extra because you love her baked goods.” Hyejin stares him down, and he shuffles his feet. 
“Yep…that’s…that’s true,” an awkward laugh, “the one who really loves baked goods…” 
Sunwoo was right. He’s down astronomically bad.
~
“You’re such a fucking loser, you know that right?” Hyejin scrubs a baking tin furiously, grumbling about how these stupid drops of batter are gonna be the death of her. “Running away and giggling like someone my age because he called you cupcake.” You glare at her. She continues to scrub at the pan. “Do you even know anything about him?”
“Who even asked you?” His birthday is November 4th. I remember because he knew his friends were planning a surprise party for him.
“Nobody. I’m just the unfortunate soul who has to sit here and witness your gag-worthy flirting with Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome.” You throw down your rag.
“I’m not flirting with him! He’s a paying customer!”
“Mhm. A paying customer who you wanna fuck sooooo bad.” She smirks at you, and whether mocking or not you know she’s right. Would you ever admit that to her face? Absolutely not. 
“You know what-” You pick up your rag and jab a finger in her direction. “If you keep this shit up I’m cutting your hours down.”
“Do that and I’m telling Yeonnie that you want him inside of you. Call it a taste tester or whatever.” 
“You know what,” your face is burning up again and your grip on the rag tightens. “Get out.” 
“Nope.” Hyejin sets down her sponge and smiles at you. “I’m not leaving until I’m scheduled to leave. Unless we finish early, that is. So you better make a plan to jump this guy’s bones before I help him instead.”
Your rag hits the ground, a groan rises from your throat. And yet…you can’t help the smile that pulls across your lips. You can’t help the warm feeling in your chest that blooms with every thought of this masked customer who only ever goes by Yeonnie, even if you don’t know what he looks like under that mask and hat of his.
~
“You called her what?” Kevin reels back, his eyes wide and his jaw dropped. Sangyeon cringes. 
“Yeah…”
“Why would you say that? That’s like…textbook ‘do not call a woman this unless she’s your wife!’” 
“You think I don’t know that?” Sangyeon flings himself back on the studio floor, a loud thump echoing around him. The other boys had left a few minutes ago, and, oddly enough, Kevin was the only one he trusted enough to tell this to. “God, I’m such a moron.”
“No,” Kevin coos. Sangyeon frowns, rolling his head on the ground to look at him. “You’re just a dumbass who-” Sangyeon flings his foot out reaching to kick Kevin. “Whoa, hey, let me finish!”
“You’re just gonna make fun of me!” Sangyeon whines. 
Kevin purses his lips.
“For a 26-year-old man, you sure are childish.”
“Are you gonna help me fix this or not, Kevin?”
Kevin hums. 
“Operation Sangyeon-does-get-bitches is a go!”
“Call it that again and I’m getting you kicked out of the group.”
~
“So,” Hyejin leans against the counter while you mix up the batter for a cake. “Has Yeonnie come in yet?” 
You purse your lips, carefully pouring part of the dry ingredients into the stand mixer. 
“He doesn’t come in until later usually.” 
“You must be so disappointed.” You don’t respond. 
Truthfully, it is disappointing. Sure, you know he’ll be coming in later on. You know that he’s likely going to be your last customer and for that, you’re relieved. However, the wait has you picking at the skin around your nails. Anxiety builds inside of you. Cupcake is what he had called you. Just a small amount of affection, and for that you had shut down. What if running away had sent the wrong message? What if he thought you hated him and were just being nice? “You shouldn’t stress so much,” Hyejin stops the stand mixer, taking the empty bowl of dry ingredients from your hand. “You’ll overmix the batter and then the cake will be gross.”
“A professional, are we?” A lighthearted smile passes over your lips. Hyejin shrugs. 
“I’m here to learn, aren’t I? I’m not gonna get through culinary school by working at a gas station.” 
“That’s true.” 
“Anyway,” she huffs and grabs a tray of macarons, “just remember the plan and he’ll fall right back in love with you. Guaranteed.”
“How do you know?” You pour the cake batter into a few baking tins, ensuring that all are evenly layered. 
“Have you seen how he looks at you?” She scoffs. “That man clearly couldn’t care less about the sweets you give him. He’s here for you and the coffee. Not the cakes or the cookies or the brownies. He’s here for you. No one comes in that often for some baked goods.”
Have you seen the way he looks at you? Yes. You had. Just briefly, though, when his hat had lifted enough for the light to pass over his eyes. The corners were crinkled, clearly smiling under the mask. You’d thought he looked so pretty, even if you couldn’t truly see his face.
You knew him as Yeonnie. That’s the name he had requested the first few times he came into the bakery. He didn’t give you a full name, and you joked that what he gave you sounded like something you’d name your dog. He’d laughed, and when he did it had been like the air was punched out of you. It was such a beautiful sound, and somewhere deep in your mind, you had vowed to make him laugh every time you saw him. 
Then he was showing up every day, asking about what didn’t sell very much that day. Every day he would buy them all. And every day, you cracked a joke that had you hearing that gorgeous laugh of his. 
Never, however, had he called you anything but your name. Maybe you cared a bit too much about what he thought of you. Maybe you cared a little bit too much about the smudges of frosting on your face, the sweat-slicked strands of hair that clung to your hair after being in the kitchen all morning and afternoon, preparing for the next day’s pastries. 
Never had you hidden from a man you loved, even if he didn’t quite know it yet.
~
“So,” Sangyeon leans against the counter, watching you get his drink ready. “Anything exciting happen today?” His hands are shaking, but he hides it by drumming his fingers against the counter. You’d been quieter than usual, ducking your head whenever he looked at you.
Now he was worried that he made you uncomfortable.
“Not really,” you shrug, cupping your hand around the rim of the go-cup to prevent too much splashing as you add a bit more ice. “It was kinda busy, but it was bearable.”
“That’s good,” Sangyeon nods, tugging his mask further up his face. He peers around you, squinting as he searches for Hyejin through the window on the kitchen door. “Where’s Hyejin today?” You shrug.
“I sent her home early. We slowed down a lot about an hour ago and I had already gotten a lot of things done so I told her to head home.” 
“So you’re here alone?” Sangyeon frowns. “That can’t be safe.”
“I mean…” you run your tongue over your lips, “I dunno. I do it all the time.”
“You shouldn’t.” Sangyeon frowns, “This is a big city, what if something happened to you?” 
“You saying you’re worried about me, Yeonnie?” You lean toward him, your lips twitching up. 
“Sangyeon.” He blurts his name out before he can stop it. You blink, your eyebrows knitting together.
“What?”
“My…my name.” He takes a deep breath. “It’s Sangyeon. Not Yeonnie.” 
You nod, frowning.
“Why didn’t you just tell me your name in the first place?” He inhales, shaking his head.
“It isn’t that simple, cupcake.” 
“Why not?” You drum your fingers on the marble countertop. “It seems pretty simple to me. I ask for the name of the order, and you say ‘Sangyeon.’ Easy peasy.” 
Sangyeon can’t help but laugh. He can’t help the disbelief at how calm you are. Sure, the reveal of his actual name isn’t that big of a deal. Maybe you thought he was just uncomfortable around people. A bit socially awkward.
The smile returns to your lips. 
“Can I ask something?” He nods, leaning on the counter to look you in the eye. The hat casts a shadow over his face, but you can see that little crinkle that you’d been longing to see up close since the first day you met him. “Why do you wear this…” you wave your hand at him. “This little get-up?” 
He falls quiet, and for a moment you think you’ve made him uncomfortable.
“I…I’m sorry, Sangyeon. I don’t- I didn’t mean-”
“Don’t apologize.” He cuts you off, and your mouth shuts. “I just…I didn’t want your opinion of me to…to change. If you saw my face, that is.” 
“If I saw your face,” you echo. “What, are you famous or something? Oooh, are you an idol?” 
Boom, right on the money.
You can see the emotions in his eyes. The fear, the shock, the confusion, the nerves. You can see his hands clenching around his coffee. A pit forms in your stomach, growing larger and larger as he shuffles back. Toward the door. 
Away from you.
“Sangyeon…” you speak slowly when you circle the counter. “Are you…”
“I have to go,” he spits out. “I’m s- I just…I’m sorry. I have to go. I’m just-” his breathing is shaking, and he back into the wall. Sangyeon stumbles, whipping around and shoving through the door before you can say another word. 
And after all that…you couldn’t even give him the cake you’d planned on giving him for his birthday.
~
Sangyeon is pacing. His footsteps are quiet, muffled by the carpet beneath his feet. His hair is in disarray from hours of tugging at the strands. 
Kevin is sitting on his leader’s bed, eyes drooping and his head resting on one of his hands.
“Dude,” Kevin pinches the bridge of his nose. “You do know that she probably thinks she messed up somehow, right?”
“God, I just keep making things worse.” Sangyeon groans loudly, kicking away one of the shirts lying on the floor. 
“I love that I get to sit back and watch you ruin your love life before it begins.” Kevin stretches his arms above his head, his eyes squeezing shut and a yawn fighting to leave his mouth. 
“Gee, thanks Kev.” Sangyeon scowls, throwing his body face-down onto the mattress. Kevin shifts to the side, patting the older man’s shoulder.
“I’m just speaking the truth. You shouldn’t have reacted like you did. What happened to being in love with her? Did you really think she would expose you for being an idol?” 
A tough question. Sangyeon would like to say that the answer to that question is yes. He would love to trust you with his whole being, with every fiber in his body, but he’s been burned before. He’s been burned, and he doesn’t want it to happen again. 
“I just…I got scared, I think.” Sangyeon’s hands fold under his cheek, his voice slightly muffled. “I just got so scared because I care about her so much, but what if…what if she isn’t…” his voice trails off.
“She isn’t like Nabi.” Kevin frowns. “Is that what you were worried about? That she was like Nabi?” 
“I…I think so.” 
Another pregnant pause between the two of them. 
“Here’s what you’re going to do. And this time you are going to listen to me and you are going to follow every bit of my instructions no matter what happens. You are going to do this tomorrow. You aren’t going to let this simmer. You are going to go there tomorrow night, you’re going to apologize, you’re going to confess, and you’re gonna have amazing sex, badabing badaboom, we get our free pastries.” 
“There’s no way you’re just helping me because you want free baked goods.” Sangyeon clicks his tongue, rolling onto his back. Kevin scoffs.
“Who do you think I am, Juyeon? No, I’m helping you because we need you to get laid and fucking relax.”
“Somehow that’s even worse.”
“Yeah, well you’ve been up our asses with this next comeback on the rise. Now are you gonna listen to me or are you gonna fuck up again and make us all miserable with your moping?” 
Sangyeon bites his tongue, fighting back a retort. “I’ll listen.”
~
“What are you doing here?”
Sangyeon practically cowers under the weight of Hyejin’s gaze. Her eyes are narrowed, her lips drawn into a thin line. He’s abandoned the mask and the hat. The only thing shielding him now is the hood of his sweatshirt. 
“I need to talk to Y/N.”
Hyejin snorts. “You think she wants to talk to you after what you did?” 
Regret boils inside of him, and he digs the nail of his thumb into his pointer finger. 
“Please, Hyejin. I just- I just need to talk to her.” He watches the college student think. Watches her consider her options.
“Wait here. I’ll go see if she wants to talk to you.”
“Thank you, Hyejin. God, thank you-”
“Don’t thank me,” she snaps. “I’m not doing this for you, so don’t thank me.”
~
You’re in the back, listening to the conversation just outside the door. Your hands tug at the edge of your apron, your eyebrows knitting together. 
“Do you want to talk to him?” Hyejin is careful to speak only when the door has stopped swinging, her voice hushed and her hand resting on your arm. “I won’t force you to go out there, and I can stay longer if you don’t want to be alone.” 
You smile, placing your hand over hers. For the shit you two give each other, she’s one of the few people you can rely on.
“It’s fine, Hyejin. You can go home.”
“You sure?” 
No. “Positive.”
~
It’s dark in the bakery. The blinds have been drawn shut, the door locked and most of the lights turned off. Sangyeon stares at the box you place on the table in front of him. Your eyes are trained on the ground, your teeth digging into the plush flesh of your lip. 
“What- what did you make tonight?” His voice cracks, and he grimaces while clearing his throat. What a great start, dumbass.
“A cake.” The statement is cold, and he gnaws on his lip. “For you.”
“For me?” He echoes, tugging it closer to his side of the table. You place your hand on top of the box, pulling it back toward you. He drops his hands back to his sides. 
“Not right now. Not until you explain what the hell happened last night.”
“I’m sorry,” he blurts out. You flinch, your body curling in on itself. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
“Why did you run off?” Your voice is quieter than he’d ever heard it, and he has to strain to pick up the words you’ve said. “Why…why did you leave?”
“I don’t- I swear it isn’t your fault, cupcake.” Another flinch, and he snaps his mouth shut. 
“Then why did you run?” You lift your eyes, and he can see the tears waiting to fall. He can see you fighting to keep them at bay, to keep calm. 
“I…” Sangyeon sighs. “It’s a long story. One that…that I didn’t really want to have to tell you. Not yet, at least. Not like this.”
“You don’t trust me, do you?” Your voice shakes, and Sangyeon shakes his head, one of his hands reaching forward to touch your own. He hesitates, his hand partway across the table before he decides against touching you. “It’s okay if you don’t. I get it. Fans are…they’re crazy these days, I know.” You try to laugh, but you break off into sniffles.
“I trust you, Y/N,” Sangyeon protests. “I really trust you. I ran off because…because I didn’t want this to end like the last time I trusted someone.” He drags a hand down his face, laughing in disbelief. “My last relationship was rough. I thought I could trust her, and she…she betrayed me. So because of that, I was scared.”
“Of what?” You press. “Letting go of the past? Loving me?”
“Yes!” He exclaims, erupting from his seat and running his hands through his hair. “Fuck, Y/N, I love you so much that it hurts. All I ever want to do is hold you, and kiss you, and- and-” he shakes his head, and you rise from your seat. “It drives me crazy because you make me so happy to see you excited to give me things that I don’t even like but I take anyway because I just love you so fucking much. And- and I’ve wanted to tell you everything for so long but I just- I couldn’t-” 
His lips are soft, you think when you kiss him. They’re soft, although slightly chapped. He’s frozen in place, his hands hanging in mid-air on either side of your body. He remains like that and you pull back, afraid that you misinterpreted everything.
He doesn’t let you get very far, his arms wrapping around your midsection and yanking you back into him. 
~
It’s so soft, the way he kisses you. Sangyeon doesn’t move too fast, cautious and hyperaware of everything around the two of you. His hands have untied the apron around your waist, tossing it somewhere amongst the tables and he’s placed you up on the counter. His hands are all over you: moving up and down your back, caressing your cheeks, squeezing at your hips, running over the tops of your thighs and through the strands of hair that he’s tugged out of the claw clip. 
His tongue is in your mouth, but he’s not using any force. Sangyeon lets you take the reins, set the pace. Whatever you want, he’ll give you. He’s yours. He lets your tongue prod at his own, lets you suckle at the wet muscle to your content. Your body is shaking against his own, and a smile crosses over his lips. 
Sangyeon pulls his mouth from yours, his smile widening when you whine and chase his lips. His hands are on your waist, holding you in place. “You’re shaking, cupcake.”
“Want you so bad, Yeonnie.” You reach for him again, your lips just grazing his before he pulls back.
“What do you want?” One of his hands drags along your leg, running higher, and higher, and-
“Want you to eat me out.” 
Sangyeon’s eyes go wide. So maybe he’d just been teasing you, but he hadn’t expected his sweet little baker to be so bold.
Your hand pushes against his chest, and he stumbles backward a few steps. There’s a dazed look in his eyes as he watches you unbutton your blouse. The delicate fabric slides down your shoulders, and Sangyeon swears that he’s drooling over you. The shape of your breasts in the orange glow of the fairy lights, the steady rise and fall of your chest while you breathe. 
“Beautiful,” he murmurs, and your cheeks grow warm. He reaches for you, but hesitates and puts his hand down again. You watch as he drops to his knees, practically crawling to you, and you can feel your panties dampening from the action. There’s a warm feeling in your gut, one you haven’t felt in a long time. His hands are quick to undo the button of your jeans, and he watches you as he tugs the zipper down. You’re leaning back on the counter, eyes struggling to stay open and on him. One of your lips is tucked between your teeth, red and puffy from you chewing on it.
Sangyeon drags your jeans and panties down in on harsh tug, and he helps you lift your legs to step out of them. Your legs are soft, he notes to himself. He leans forward, his lips touching the soft skin gently. You flinch, and he pulls away. 
“Why-” your voice trembles. “Why’d you stop?”
“You flinched,” he shrugs. “I will only do what you want me to, cupcake. The second you show discomfort, I stop until you tell me to continue or to leave. I’m yours. Whatever you want is what I want.  But right now, I really want to drown in this sweet pussy of yours.” He doesn’t move though, his cheek resting against the inside of your knee and his eyes are lidded with lust. “I’m not doing anything until you say so, cupcake.” 
You squeeze your eyes shut, and a nod of your head has Sangyeon practically moaning as he pulls himself closer to your core. 
“Fuck, cupcake, you’re dripping f’ me.” He coos, gauging your reactions as he prods at your entrance with the tips of his calloused fingers. You whine, trying to squeeze your legs shut, but his broad shoulders keep them open while he plays with your sopping pussy. His thumbs spread you open, and he watches you clench around nothing. 
“Hurry up, Sangyeon,” he grins at the desperation in your voice. 
“So needy,” he hums. You click your tongue and one of your hands laces in the soft strands of his hair. Your grip tightens, and he whines when you yank him closer to you.’
“Well,” you hide the way your voice shakes when you feel his breath right up against you. “I need a bit of a taste tester, you know? Need to know if she’s sweet enough- oh fuck-”
His mouth against you before you can finish your statement. His mouth is wide open, his tongue swiping along your folds, dipping inside of you and just grazing your clit, knowing full well that’s where you need him the most. Your hand is still in his hair, but your grip has gone slack. Your jaw hangs open, your head tipped back, and Sangyeon can feel him growing harder just at the taste of you in his mouth. 
His eyes drift shut, his hands grabbing your thighs and pulling you impossibly closer to his mouth. His neck has tipped back at an awkward angle, one that he knows is going to hurt later, but right now? With your pussy dripping against his face and the pretty little moans and whines you release? Sangyeon couldn’t care less. He's enraptured by you. He's obsessed with your taste, and he knows that even if he doesn't like sweets, he'd make an exception just for you.
“Sangyeon,” you’re breathless, pitch raising as he sucks at your clit, laving over it with his tongue. “Sangyeon, please.”
“Please what, cupcake?” His voice is muffled, not even bothering to pull away from you, and the vibrations of his voice have your back arching. “What do you need?”
“Need you inside of me,” you whine. “Please, please I need you so bad. Been waiting for so long. Haven’t you been waiting for me?” 
You’re a seductress, Sangyeon decides. A succubus. Sent here to torment him. To get him drunk on you, so much so that he’ll never want to leave. So much so that he’d sell his soul just to get a taste of your nectar one more time. 
“Have to make you cum, cupcake,” he denies your pretty little begs. “Wanna make you cum, just once before I fuck you. Please? Please let me make you cum?” His eyes are glowing in the light of the bakery, and you let out a high-pitched whine. He doesn’t wait for your response this time. He drowns himself in your pussy, tongue reaching inside of you for as much of your arousal as he can get. He sucks harshly on your clit, teeth grazing it and drawing loud cries from your lips.
Your legs tremble. A knot is growing in the pit of your stomach. Your body jerks. 
“Oh, fuck, Sangyeon-” Your cry trails off into a loud whine, your orgasm washing over you like a wildfire. Sangyeon drinks you up like he’s been in a desert for a week without water, moaning just as loud as you. Getting drunk on the feeling of your thighs shaking around his head, overstimulating you as you come down from your high. 
He doesn’t pull away until you physically kick him away from you. His face is drenched in your juices, his eyes glazed with need, and you have a sneaking suspicion that if you asked, he would crawl over and drag another orgasm out of you in no time at all. 
But you don’t ask. You need him inside of you so desperately that now you’re the one crawling to him. He’s still fully dressed as you perch your body over his, your core pressed right up against the bulge in his pants. His hands are tight on your hips, and he watches as you tug his sweatshirt up his body. 
“Did you plan for this to happen?” You smirk when you find bare skin under the soft hoodie. Bare, golden, skin, with toned abs like no other. Fuck maybe you were gonna get drunk on him.
He grins at you. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. What are you gonna do about it?” You click your tongue and slide off of him to sit on the counter. He sits up, eyebrows knit together as you swing your legs and smile at him.
“Planned or not,” you hum, “you should probably fuck me before I change my mind and eat that birthday cake on my own.” Sangyeon scoffs, but he’s pulling his pants down his legs and walking over to you without another word.
You, on the other hand, are taken completely aback. He’s big. Like…big in both length and girth. You wonder if you’d be able to wrap your hand around it, but you don’t get the time to think about it before Sangyeon is in front of you, tearing open a foil packet and rolling the condom onto his cock.
“Is it gonna fit, do you think?” You reach your hand forward, wrapping your hand around it. You were right. 
Sangyeon hisses at the contact of your hand wrapping around his sensitive cock. “We’ll have to see, won’t we?” 
You smile, your legs wrapping around his waist and tugging him closer to you. Your hand is still on him, guiding him to your entrance. You both hiss at the initial push into you. It stings, the stretch more than you’ve had in quite a while. 
“Shit, you’re tight,” Sangyeon grips your thighs tightly, his fingers holding you so tightly that you swear there will be bruises after this. You whine, your arms coming up to wrap around his shoulders. 
His arms slide up, holding you close to him as he continues to press inside of you. Sangyeon whispers words of comfort into your ear. He pauses whenever you whine in discomfort, hushing you as he continues to push into you. He bites his tongue every time your pussy clenches around him, muffling the groans that threaten to escape. 
You, on the other hand, are moaning shamelessly despite the discomfort. You can feel him everywhere, touching every inch of you and just kissing that sweet spot inside of you. Every time he pushes further into you, once the sting passes, the pleasure is quick to replace it. It overpowers every other emotion inside of you. Your legs wrap tighter around him, forcing those last few inches into you until his hips are pressed tightly against your own and his breathing grows shaky again. You clench around him, and his body jerks. 
“Little tease,” he practically growls. “Clenching around me like you want me to cum too fast.” You laugh, but it cuts into a moan when he pulls out a few inches and shoves himself back in. Your nails dig into the back of his neck, your fingers lacing into his hair and pulling lightly. "Feels so good, Yeonnie.”
“Weren’t you the one that said that was a dog's name?” He moves slowly against you, and at first, you don’t respond, your lips attached to his shoulder and sucking dark marks into the skin. “Cupcake, careful with the marks.” Sangyeon pinches the skin of your thigh and you whine.
“Stop complaining and just fuck me already,” you plead. Sangyeon smiles.
“Whatever you say, cupcake.” You can’t get another word out. Sangyeon pushes you onto your back, barely giving you time to adjust to how he feels in this new position before he’s thrusting harshly inside of you. 
He’s harsh with his pace, each thrust punching the air out of your lungs, forcing out moans and cries and begs for him to go faster, harder, right there oh god right there Sangyeon. He lowers his mouth to your shoulder, giving you the same treatment he’d just scolded you for, listening to everything you say and every sound you make as he does. The sound of his hips slapping against yours is so loud and he can feel your arousal dripping down your pretty cunt and allowing him to go faster, to fuck you harder. 
Then he sees it. It’s faint, but when he looks down at you he can see the outline of his cock pressing against your stomach. His pace stutters, and you whine when he slows down. 
“Cupcake, look at you.” He coos, grabbing the hand that’s in his hair and bringing it down to your stomach. You raise your head, eyes fluttering when he thrusts again but you can feel the bulge against your stomach. You force your eyes to stay open the next time he thrusts into you, whining when you see it. “So fucking pretty, baby. So fucking pretty, and so small that my cock is pressing against your tummy, wanting to get out, hm?” You whine again, raising your hips to meet every thrust. 
He’s getting close. He can feel it. Every thrust, every clench, every whine. It’s all drawing him closer and closer to the edge, and he knows you can feel his cock twitching inside of you. He knows that you’re getting close again, he can feel the way your walls are fluttering around him rather than persistently clenching. 
“Are you close baby?” His hand comes up to rest next to your head, and you whine.
“So close, Yeonnie. Please I’m so close-” Your hips stutter against him, and the knot in your stomach goes tight. 
Sangyeon swears he goes blind for a moment with how hard his eyes roll back. His body shakes against yours, his cum filling the condom to the brim. Your back arches, your chests brushing together and he wraps one hand around your back, pressing against your shoulder blades to hold you close to him while the two of you ride out your highs. Both of you are panting, your bodies slick with sweat, and you can only imagine what anyone walking outside is thinking-
“Oh my god, we just fucked in my bakery.” You sit upright, your head knocking against Sangyeon’s in the process. He snorts, rubbing where you just hit him.
“You’re realizing this now?” You smack his arm, and he laughs, pulling away from you. The two of you are quiet for a few minutes, quietly cleaning up and getting dressed. Well…Sangyeon gets dressed. You’re stuck on the counter, your legs proving to be useless now. Sangyeon smiles at this, grabbing your clothes for you and helping you tug your jeans on. 
“We’re not fucking in here again.” He quirks an eyebrow.
“So what you’re saying is my car is next?” You punch his arm again, but he just laughs. “I’m kidding.”
“Are you though?” 
“...”
“Lee Sangyeon!” He laughs again, taking you by the hand to keep you steady on your feet. The two of you stand there for a few minutes, in the middle of your bakery with the orange glow of the fairy lights. 
“Did you mean what you said?” You ask, letting him lead you back to the table you’d left the cake on.
“About what?” Sangyeon peers at you, his head tilted. 
“About not liking sweets.” Your cheeks are warm. It’s a silly question, but it had bugged you. Sangyeon smiles, ducking his head.
“Yeah… I was really just here for the coffee.”
“Then…Why did you take what I gave you?” You pout. “If I had known you didn’t like that stuff, I would’ve given you something else!” 
“Because I like how happy you sounded when I told you the recipes you were trying tasted fantastic.” He says simply. “I would hate if I said or did anything that made you upset.”
“But you…” you purse your lips. “Then why did you run away? I know that you said someone had…betrayed you before…but did you really think I would do that to you?” 
Sangyeon sighs. 
“I didn’t know. Obviously, I trusted you- I trust you. But…somewhere inside of me I just couldn’t help but be a bit too cautious. I couldn’t stop myself from being afraid that this would turn out just like that relationship did, you know?” You nod, drumming your fingers on the table. “Can I see the cake you made me now?” 
“After all that, you wanna see the cake now?” You scoff and he grins at you, tugging the box toward him. “Whatever. It’s nothing special anyway.”
“Anything you make me is special.” He argues, flipping open the lid of the box. He gasps.
“Do you like it?” Sangyeon doesn’t respond. You get nervous. “Yeonnie?”
“Oh, you want me sooooo bad.”
~
TAGLIST: @winterchimez @juyeonszn
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marzipanandminutiae · 9 months ago
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southern gothic crimson peak. that’s it.
The thing about Southern Gothic is that, if you do it with any kind of conscientiousness, you’re going to run into slavery. sooner or later. Having grown up in the south, I can attest that if there’s a big gorgeous house from anytime before the Civil War, the original owners almost certainly enslaved people there. And while that can be a fascinating thematic throughline for deep literary southern Gothic – it’s certainly a horrible family history – it’s not as good for Fun Gothic With BlorbosTM.
(slavery also happened in the northern US, to be clear. For fiction purposes, though, you can go further back in history without encountering it than you can in the south.)
Like. If there’s a big old crumbling house in the south, even if it’s a modern story, there’s a 99% chance that the looming specter of slavery is going to overshadow the characters’ interpersonal interactions. And this is one story where I prefer focusing on the interpersonal interactions
I guess you could have Allerdale built after the war if it’s a modern version? So then you don’t feel as bad focusing on smushing the characters together like dolls while whispering “now kiss?”
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sigyn-foxyposts · 3 months ago
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"My versions of the Cawthon family" Fnaf affinity AU! (Outdated & Old‼)
‼️Not based on the creator of FNAF‼️
Note: Mobox sold some of the characters I've included and I'll be crediting them.
Owner credit: @sunny-paw Maggie (renamed Maria)
Owner credit: @aftonsocks Thomas
Since this family was my favorite, I couldn't resist the urge to write about my versions of them. Most of what this is either made up or used to be cannon to Mobox87's original and older AU! I hope you like it! :3
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Name: Scott Cawthon.
Nickname: Scotty
Nationality: British (Moved to America)
Scott is very clumsy and skittish.
Has always struggled mentally, thanks to his childhood being quite rough.
Has undiagnosed ADHD.
Likes to keep things organized.
Hates when someone is disobedient.
Suffers from insomnia.
He has a high pain tolerance and often gets injured, hence the many bandages he is wearing. Maggie puts them on.
Feels horrible for not being able to realize that Vincent was guilty for his children & many's deaths.
Scott is phone guy and tape guy!
Scott didn't actually die after the animatronics attacked and stuffed him into a suit, he was just severely injured.
Despite being in pain, he managed to stay alive until someone found him. After that incident he decided to retire.
He commits suicide, suffocating during the fnaf 6 fire together with Michael.
Scott is a hard working man that love's his family more than anything, but struggles to keep the stability going. Not only does he specialize with dangerous animatronics at work along side his brother Vincent, who creates questionable design choices for their creations. He has always struggled mentally and because of the lack of sleep he is getting, he gets injured and problems often arise at home. He tries to be a better husband to Maggie and father to his sons..but has to admit he is far from perfect. He retired from Fazbear entertainment after the tragedies and focused on his remaining family, returning during fnaf 6 to aid Michael and decided he would commit suicide with them.
Name: Margaret Cawthon.
Nickname: Maggie.
Maiden name: Fritz.
Nationality: Norwegian.
She is a natural redhead.
Has dyed her hair dark and cut it multiple times through her life.
She went to medical school and worked as a nurse for a few years.
She retired early and became a stay at home mom when she got pregnant.
Has a slight drinking problem and hates how addicted she is to it.
She suffers from compassion fatigue.
Developed depression and erratic behavior after the disappearances.
Feels guilty for Thomas's death because she was drinking that night and asked Scott to get him. (He was working late)
After Scott died in the fire, she went back to her drinking habits and died from liver failure. (Basically suicide)
Margaret Cawthon is a stay at home mother who often finds herself stressed over not just her sons, but also her husband. Thanks to his recklessness at work and his horrible sleep schedules, along with his mental health. Maggie and Scott tend to argue a lot about his well being and over how they should manage things in their household, which often ends up going nowhere. This caused her to pick up a small drinking habit that she tries her best to hide from everyone, especially her children. After the missing children's incident she went completely off the rails and had to be sent away to the mental hospital by Scott. She really struggled, especially with the guilt of not being able to protect her kids. Eventually she would be able to return back to Scott and their remaining son, raising him.
Name: Thomas Fritz Cawthon.
Nickname: Tom.
Age: 13 (When he died)
Struggles with anxiety.
His favorite animatronic is puppet.
He really likes collecting porcelain dolls.
Enjoys listening to the music box because it was a lullaby his parents used to comfort him with as a baby.
Thomas is left handed!
The lefty animatronic was based on a stuffed teddy bear he owned.
Later Scott recreated Lefty as a animatronic to capture Thomas.
Like Scott he is also clumsy and skittish.
He is very pale and easily gets bruised.
To avoid people assuming bad things about his home life, he wears make-up, long sleeves and pants.
He originally wore make-up to just hide his bruises but started to enjoy it!
Scott and Maggie find this adorable and often she helps him experiment around with her make-up stash!
Even though he keeps calm under stressful situations, when conflicts arises his anxiety skyrockets.
He knows Maggie has a drinking problem but hasn't said that he knows.
He hates when his parents argue because of how Bart got injured once.
His favorite cousin is Chris, who he heavily sympathizes with!
Vincent stabbed Thomas multiple times out of drunken rage, leaving him outside to bleed out slowly in the rain.
Thomas is the oldest son and takes a lot after both his parents. He is quite gloomy, clumsy and introverted but a passionate caretaker like Maggie. He is very protective of his siblings and the missing children after he is killed by Vincent outside of the pizzeria. The reason he died was because he was waiting for Scott to finish working after Maggie forgot to pick him up. At first he blamed both his parents for his death, but stopped holding a grudge against them when he realized Scott and Michael tried to free them behind the scenes.
Name: Bartholomew Fritz Cawthon.
Nickname: Bart.
Age: 8 (When he died)
Has ADHD.
His favorite animal is the fox, hence why he loves and adores foxy.
He has an obsession with pirates and pretends to be one all the time!
His favorite holiday is Halloween.
He likes to tease and be the annoying younger brother towards Thomas.
Sings those kids nursery rhymes 24/7.
Hates loud shouting and glass breaking after he was accidentally hit during an argument between Scott and Maggie.
His favorite cousin is Brandy because she likes playing pirates with him!
Vincent lured Bart to parts and service, breaking his kneecaps, cutting of his hand and slicing his throat. It was so deep he pretty much decapitated him.
Bartholomew also known as Bart for short, is the second oldest son. He is hyperactive and outgoing to the fullest, insisting he is the leader of any group he comes across, siblings or friendships. You'll often see him wearing pirate gears and singing songs, dragging around his younger brother who happily follows. Bart always unintentionally gets himself into trouble, even if it isn't his fault and while he loves his father.. Hates being punished by him. After he was killed by his own uncle Vincent, like the other missing children he can't trust adults and is very aggressive. Even to his own father Scott, when he figured out he possessed Foxy and tried to communicate with him.
Name: Matthew Fritz Cawthon
Nickname: Matt.
Age: 3 (in 1984)
He is somewhere on the autism spec.
His favorite animatronic is balloon boy.
Balloon boy was inspired by Matthew's younger appearance and made by Scott.
He has a huge sweetooth and will try to steal sweets when no one is watching!
He loves to celebrate and attend parties because it's exciting to him!
While he doesn't look like the type, he thrives in others happiness.
Which he sadly didn't get at home often!
His favorite hobby is arts and crafts and he actually helped decorate the pizzeria along with other children.
His favorite cousin is Elizabeth because she offered him ice cream once.
Matthew Is the youngest son and the only surviving family member of the Afton and Cawthon family after Michael. As a child he was a bubbly boy filled with laughter, often finding himself following others around rather than leading the way like his older brother Bart. He was very young when his brothers disappeared and when he got older he struggled remembering them. When Maggie was sent away to the mental hospital, Scott retired to take care of him and was finally able to improve his parental skills. When Matthew became an adult he started working under Fazbear entertainment despite the history it held.
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bloopitynoot · 2 months ago
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Reading SVSSS: Chapter 16
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For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!
If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.
Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.
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Hello! Another day, another chapter!
I really don't have much to ramble about today, but I am back on my tea. This is a new one from the ren faire this year- vanilla chai with sugar and milk. The cup is from the same ren faire (but purchased last year).
let's go let's let's go- I am already impatient to get into this chapter.
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Last chapter we ended on a cliffhanger with Luo Binghe totally unconscious- we start this chapter with Shen QIngqiu ready to rescue his man and escape!
It's really so upsetting that he is going back to trash (two bar) spiritually energy in this body when he was so used to his mushroom Unlimited Power p65
RIP Luo Binghe's skull LOL he is really being tossed around like a rag doll. SQQ needs to be more careful. p66
MXTX said forget the only one bed trope, I raise you -> There Was Only One Coffin p67
Fuck. This is actually so scary 10/10 I would pee myself if a little skeletal arm was worming it's way into the coffin I was temporarily occupying (really anything in this book's reality would make me die of fright. as an aside I was talking to my partner about this while watching MDZS donghua yesterday, in the world of cultivators I would be a dumpling stall owner. I could never with the sword training and literal corpses). pp67-68
I CANT 'extenuating circumstances'. SQQ definitely: I just HAD to kiss his cute little forehead to save our lives. p68
i'm crying LOL "a person's abdomen is supposed to be the softest spot on their body, but Luo Binghe's was uncomfortably hard against Shen Qingqiu's stomach. The farther down he pulled him, the more he was sure that Luo Binghe had an eight-pack. Was that a rock slab down there?" p70
this keeps getting worse LMAO
OOOOO Meng Mo is back! Is it weird that I kind of love this guy? He has such a cool power and is a bit of a dick, but in the best and worst of ways. Him and Airplane give similar energy and I am not mad about it. p72
oh gosh! LBH is either "fatally ill" or "close to death" p72
wait- adding to the above point. he could also be mentally very unwell :( poor buddy -> it's likely this option. p72
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so even though SQQ is processing nothing , I think SQQ admitting (not naming the feeling but admitting) that he is feeling a mess of emotions about Luo Binghe is a big step for him! p73
Meng Mo seems to have a lot of feelings about LBH. I am not sure if it's just pride or what but whatever it is he is correct here, "The way this elder sees it, he (LBH) should either kill you (SQQ) or do you!" p74
PLEASE OH NO
I AM WHEEZING
+1000 Protagonist Satisfaction Points for touching LBH's "Heavenly Pillar" p76
IM DYING OH NO
WHY IS THIS EVEN A THOUGHT IF HE THINKS HE'S STRAIGHT "He couldn't exactly help Luo Binghe jerk off under these circumstances, right?!" p76 But like if not these circumstances he is cool with doing it in other circumstances???????????
oh no! SQQ blocking the blades with his bare hand for LBH p79
Dang. the Old Palace Master has been through some shit. p80
Are we getting more of Shen jiu's story??? We have Qiu Haitang here too! p81 (just as an aside because my notes did not revisit this, we do not get more of his story just weird little hints. That I hope Shang Qinghua clears up later). p81
What a terrible combo. Old Palace master is just butthurt Luo Binghe doesn't want him as a teacher or to marry his daughter and Qiu Haitang seems to be just a vile woman with a grudge against SQQ for some reason. pp82-83
Okay but as horrible as OPM is, that cultivation he's doing with his voice is kind of cool. p85
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Wait. Did the Old Palace Master have a thing for Su Xiyan? This is so fucking weird for LBH and he's not even conscious pp86-87
reading further the above point got so much worse omg :(((((((((((( I'm so upset for Su Xiyun. p87
It got even worse with the implications of what it meant for Luo Binghe in that sect. That terrible terrible man deserved that horrifying death. Fuck that guy! pp 89-90
OMG SQQ, basically half dead carrying LBH, barely got away from the death flower room, and here we have Tianglang-jun back on his bullshit. p94
SQQ is in such a bad state :o pp94-95
Is this another dime??? Our demon blood piggy bank for SQQ is now at $0.40 p97
YAY! Luo Binghe is awake! (is he going to be okay mentally though??)p 99
Why is Luo Binghe so mad? Like this man just nearly died trying to get you the fuck out of there p100
Fucking finally okay, it got better LBH is realizing what SQQ did while he was unconscious pp102-103
I'm glad they cleared that up (even though there was the other added miscommunication about LBH thinking SQQ was crying when he was actually just in a fuck ton of pain). p104
I am actually so glad that the discussion was interrupted before LBH found out about the dick touching being real LOL p108
MORE DEMON BLOOD. -> SQQ's dime bank is at $0.50
How many times does this man get kidnapped?
We really ended with him being kidnapped again and with Luo Binghe being conned by his own dad. That was so rough. -500 dignity points (not really but it sure feels like it)
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rosestarlightkatarina · 1 year ago
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The night.
Donna Beneviento x reader
This one is all about fluff and sleepy atmosphere
I hope you enjoy🖤🌙
No doubt today is a way too harsh on you. Everything is out of hand and it makes you feel even more exhausted. But the most frustrating thing is that you don’t have any chances to meet the doll maker, let alone a little talk to her. She acts more like a pretty ghost in a pretty old house and you try to copy this behavior. Expect Angie. The only one thing you have to do for being the reason of her laugh or anger is breathing. Even sleeping isn’t always a good cause for her to stop. You must be more creative than that. But you two seem to get along recently. It’s actually a miracle how you are still alive. Consider yourself lucky. However some horrible questions about their true intentions come to your head every night. And the only one person, who knows the answer, is ignoring your existence, preferring the company of her own. Except Angie, of course. When the sun hides behind the waterfall, the owner of the manor comes from somewhere, takes her continuously chatting feral creature and disappears. You can swear she has some teleportation skills. For one moment you could say she was an illusion or a fever dream of yours. But there was always Angie with her bites to make you deny these thoughts swiftly. Still your various assumptions are never gone. This night does not differ from the others. Eyes are shut but mind is overwhelmed. Thus, after some useless attempts to fall asleep, you find yourself wandering around the empty house until you see the dim light coming from the slightly open door. The curiosity wins so you have no choice but come a little closer on your tiptoes. Behind the crack there is your lady, painting a little porcelain face, all alone. Just her and soft sound of creating a new friend. Something about this view makes you stay, watching her work quietly. That’s impolite to stare you think when it’s too late. Unfortunately, the period of time is long enough to get noticed by her. Now you are caught and there is no way back. You have to speak.
"My lady, I apologise for interrupting you. I didn’t mean anything bad. I have an insomnia. Please may I stay here? Just for a little while." You say that so fast as if you are ready to get killed for your audacity. But the slight nod is the only response you have.
You hoped for this reaction but wasn’t really prepared. So you just froze for a few seconds before finally making your way through the room, looking at its beautifully arranged furniture. Still something, without any sign of mercy, is beckoning you to come to her as closer as possible. Besides, the is always a chance for you not to see the tomorrow morning. So you just decided to use all of your carriage to keep this opportunity. You slowly got down on the floor next to her, waiting for any sign of her disapproval to run away and blame yourself for such a stupid behavior for the rest of your life. You don’t know exactly what you are doing. It’s really hard to use the brains when every part of your soul is screaming inside you. Fortunately and scarily, she didn’t show any urge to stop you. You just closed your eyes, leaning your cheek to her dress to feel the soft material caressing your face. Every little thing about this woman is soothing and cosy. You can’t help this atmosphere wrapping you up in its embrace. You have been waiting for these minutes for too long that it almost makes you cry in relief. You feel like you’re in heaven and it suits your thoughts of being probably already dead just fine. It’s like being asleep and you look exactly this way when her fingers runs through your locks. Your heart is about to fly away from the chest but you don’t dare to move, relishing the soft touch. It would be unforgivable to scare this precious moment off. She keeps gently stroking your hair, sometimes drawing circles and flowers on the top of your head. You do your best not to tremble and pretend to sleep. But after half an hour it is not an acting anymore. You don’t realise how tired you are so…you wake up. In your bed. In your room. Is it just another dream? Who knows. Well, only the one may know.
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whumpzone · 2 years ago
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I want Col to fall down the stairs late at night, and when he hits the bottom in the pitch black, he feels right back in the basement. When Linden finds him, woken by the noise, Col is completely out of it. He just sees his old owner, leaning over him, and spirals into a full blown panic attack.
It only took a second. One slip, and his stomach lurched as he fell, arms flying out to try and stop the inevitable.
His head cracked against the wooden floor.
No- not wooden. The basement was concrete.
His Master had pushed him to the floor, hadn't he?
Pet had misbehaved again; the punishment was only fair.
Pain bloomed outwards across his skull. He tentatively raised a hand, waiting to see if he would strain against today's restraints, but he was untethered. That was a considerable mercy. Pet pressed his palm gingerly into his hair, feeling for blood.
His hair was greasy, but aside from that his palm came away dry. Master had been kind.
He had an overwhelming feeling that he was allowed to speak, and the words tumbled out before he could really interrogate that thought.
"S-Sorry, Master, I'm sorry," he moaned. His entire body hurt. Why couldn't he remember what had just happened? What had he done wrong this time?
It was so dark that Pet couldn't see him, and when there was no reply, he didn't even know which direction to kneel in. Pulling his limbs up hurt, god, it hurt so badly, and he was so dizzy, and eventually his small modicum of strength failed him and he slumped back down like a doll.
"I'm sorry, p...please, I'm sorry, I'm trying."
"Col?"
Pet flinched. The sound came from somewhere above him, confusingly, somewhere he couldn't place. His fingers were starting to tingle with panic. He was vulnerable and scared, he felt lost somehow, but he was exactly where he belonged.
Fuck, he was so scared. His lungs started to take in less and less air. The concrete of the basement felt wrong, and his neck felt wrong, too exposed, and why were all the lights off? What had Master just shouted at him? What was he going to do now?
Master's footsteps drew closer all at once, and out of the darkness materialised a face that was both familiar and misplaced. Pet tried to speak, but he was having to fight for every breath, and he was losing.
"I'm, I'm, I'm s-s-sorry, I'm sorry Master I don't know wha- what's going on, I just, I'm trying, I'm trying-"
He ran out of breath ungraciously, and he'd already wasted Master's time with his babbling. He brought his hand up to his head again, this time to try and protect it from the next blow.
When a hand did come down on him, it came down soft, but Pet was so tightly wound that it still made him gasp.
"It's me," Master said. "It's Linden."
Who?
The confusion must have been evident on his face, because Master tried again, urging his pet to overcome his animal stupidity.
"You're home. You must have fallen, but you're okay. I'll look after you. Does that make sense?"
"But I... I messed up," Pet pleaded weakly. His cheeks were wet, though he couldn't tell exactly when he'd cried. "I'm sorry."
"You didn't. You've been great, I'm really happy with you. You're lovely."
"I'll be better," he promised. He promised it a lot, but it was all he could do.
Master tucked his hands under Pet's bruised body and hoisted him up, sitting him on the bottom of the stairs. They were carpeted. Because...
Something blew away the fog in his brain. Col squinted through his throbbing headache and saw the house properly. Master was sat beside him, his face lightly creased with worry.
Col made a second or two of eye contact, which was all it took. Master, in his infinite intelligence, just knew.
"Col," he said, giving him a small smile, which Col accepted gratefully.
"I... I went away, I'm sorry, Sir."
"It happens sometimes. Horrible thing for you to experience. I'm so glad you're back, but you were never truly away. I wouldn't let that happen."
God, the relief was sweeter than sugar.
"I'll get you an ice pack, and some painkillers, and you can see how you feel after that."
Exhaustion crashing into him with no warning. Col wiped away the remaining tears from his cheeks, and nodded, finding he'd run out of words.
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nanasknifeprty · 6 months ago
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i barely have any moots on here so im most comfy sharing this on here lmao, anyways rant incoming:
im back to feeling like an emotionless monster and somehow the only emotion im able to feel is this immense amount of self-hate?? like all my life i was craving for validation and the reassurance that ppl do in fact like me and that im at least somewhat desirable, and now i got the validation once more im suddenly feeling more aroace than ever (i never even considered being ace but its getting more and more likely tbh, and im pretty sure im at least on the aro spectrum bc the only crush i ever had is one i made myself have in order to avoid boredom at school but its v much just a result of severe daddy issues)
a funny thing abt myself is also that i do a complete 180 once im rlyrly drunk, means that i get v flirty and playful but overall just much more comfy with expressing my emotions such as appreciation for my friends, happiness, thankfulness etc. i never thought i had that much rizz when drunk lmao but basically i made a guy wanna cuddle with me like the entire evening (+ the morning after) but when it came to be morning and i sobered up i felt such a huge amount of guilt bc i basically woke up feeling...nothing? this boy is there liking all my stories and dropping the sweetest things (he even bought me a deftones album and u guys know how much i love deftones) and im still not feeling a damn thing?? like i got what i always wanted but why do i have to be that weird abt everything? i mean i genuinely like and appreciate him but im v sure its in a platonic way, just the way i like my other friends too. (+ while cuddling, i felt soo repressed by physical touch, as if i was getting crushed and my body could not respond to anything; i basically felt like a doll being dragged around by its owner but ofc i didnt say i was uncomfy bc im a coward lol)
all in all i feel like theres not many things missing until im able to label myself aroace, and by no means i wanna indicate that being aroace is something bad at all. its just such a sad thing for me, realizing i dont feel a thing while im 'playing' with other peoples feelings like some soulless monster.. this just made me realize i'd be horrible at dating and communicating bc the only ppl im comfy with talking abt this matter are my little digital tumblr people >_<
to everyone reading all of that for some unknown reason: tysm, have my (ofc platonic) love <33
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pencilpat · 8 months ago
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Dukeceitbrainrot here on anon. Do you have any ripe headcanons for Janus/Remus? 💛💚
Who am I fooling, we have so many that I can't even write them all out in one place without overwhelming myself! Here's some juicy ones though, just for you. @dukeceitbrainrot
Janus and Remus both have really bad abandonment issues, both from things Thomas has been through as well as losing Virgil from such a previously tight knit group. They cling to each other very, very hard. They fell in love out of necessity, out of proximity, out of 'you are the only one left for me,' but they still love, love, love.
They both watch a lot of horror films, sure, but their tastes are completely different. While Janus would bring things like Run. or Us to movie night, Remus will bring things like Slaughtered Vomit Dolls or Cannibal Holocaust and spend the whole film infodumping about the horrific backstories and crimes involved. Janus sits there utterly horrified the whole time, but he lets Remus have his fun nonetheless.
Remus eats a lot of weird stuff that's very bad for his health (I headcanon that he has the disorder pica among his menagerie) and Janus has to help him quell those compulsions in any way he can. That resulted in Janus learning to bake and cook creations that look or feel in texture exactly like the things Remus would want to eat. Such as sugar glass for that nasty glass swallowing habit, or fondant to replace fancy soaps. Janus once created candy that looks and feels like razor blades, just for him.
They are SO 'horrible beast and enabling owner' coded okay, "I don't know, I just let him play," and all else are you kidding me?? Janus enables the chaos for his own amusement and Remus's antics are an endless source of entertainment for him. Janus can be pretty easily grossed out, but it's creates flabbergasted affection towards Remus more than anything else.
A bit nsfw, skip if you need to. But their sex isn't actually as weird as you'd expect from Remus. He's a lot softer and sweeter to people he genuinely loves. He gets worried when he loves someone, will he scare them off, will he make them hate him like most others have, will they be just like the others? Their opinion actually matters to him, which is bizarre and terrifying for him to deal with. Janus is very good at reassuring him and keeping him close and safe when emotions do interfere with their encounters. Remus needs a lot of aftercare most of the time, he's very prone to those rushes of negative emotions following sex.
Remus gets injured a lot, either from fights with Roman or his own tendencies to step on/into his own weapons. Janus knows very basic field first aid because of this, and has to patch him up while chastising him pretty much 6 out of 7 days of the week.
Janus has really bad days sometimes, where his responsibilities and his role as Denial crash onto him like a train. He's hiding so much, holding so much back and away from the others. It's a taxing task. Remus shows a surprisingly strong soft side on those nights, caring for and comforting Janus through every trauma reaction he may have, be it screaming, crying, scratching at himself, etc etc. It can be really rough for both of them, but Janus is always incredibly grateful to Remus for staying with him through it, despite.
Remus does not care whether Janus likes affection or not, he WILL be being kissed and laid on and grabbed and tackled and shoved into Remus's chest 24 hours 7 days a week and he is not allowed to complain.
Shockingly domestic, sweet couple. always baking or gardening together or sitting on the sofa together doing nothing at all. The only difference is that There Is An Eyeball On The Coffee Table or Remus Filled That Pot With Human Waste So I Cannot Use It or other bizarre inclusions of disgusting things among their neat little domestic life.
Remus is a coffee drinker, Janus is a tea drinker. There are many arguments over this. 200 dead, 5000 injured.
Janus likes to try and plan civil, nice dates in The Mindpalace for them, but Remus always fucks it up in some horrific way, intentionally. What is love worth if it cannot flourish in chaos, huh Janus? Huh??
That's all for now, I love these two idiots so much
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itjazzbicch · 1 year ago
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Storms
Pairing:  Shanks x CrewMember!Fem Reader
First time writing for Shanks so I hope I did well! 
Summary: Once in a deep depression, the reader wasn't sure what path to take in life, not till she reunited with her friend Shanks, learning how much she loves the sea, and experiencing all kinds of storms with Shanks...
Warnings:  SMUT! (18+ ONLY! MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!)  (Drunk sex, pet names (baby doll), unprotected sex) (Flashback in the text is italicized!)
Word Count: 1.3k 
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“WOOOO BRING IT ON! I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING YOU THROW AT ME!”
All my crew mates thought I wasn’t taking them seriously while we were drinking, a horrible storm passing us.
They were all inside, daring me to go out into the storm. I was already the daring type, let alone while drunk.
So, I went right up there, soaked from the rain, the strong, howling wind creating a sting as the rain hit my face.
But I was all smiles, just screaming and howling out of joy. Thinking back on how I made it here.
————-
Both of my parents passed away. They left me their business, but it was falling under because I wasn’t cut out to be a business owner.
Depressed and hopeless, I decided to go out for a drink when I ran into an old friend, Shanks.
He and his crew had the whole bar rowdy, full of laughs and after getting to sit and catch up with Shanks, an idea popped into my mind.
“Shanks, you should let me join your crew.”
“Join my crew?!” He couldn’t believe those words came out of my mouth, “You? Y/N? A pirate?!”
“You know what I’m going through,” I sighed, dead serious as I looked into his eyes and explained, “I just need something. Something fun, something new, and I think I can find that out on the ocean with you.”
“You sure about this?” He wanted to make sure that I wasn’t thinking impulsively.
“I know. I feel it in my heart and soul,” I smiled, offering him a toast with the drink in my hand, “It’s going to be one hell of a ride, but I’m ready for it.”
With a smile and a toast, it was official.
———-
“COME ON! THIS AIN’T NOTHING!”
Hanging onto the post that held our flag, I felt as free as a bird, felt like I could take on the whole world, looking down as I heard from the door:
"GET DOWN FROM THERE YOU, NUTBALL! THIS STORM IS BAD!"
Shanks calling for me only made me laugh, yelling back:
"DON'T YELL AT ME IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT! HAHA!"
He took my words like a challenge and sure enough, he was making his way over to me, and I encouraged him:
"A little storm like this can't take the two of us down!"
"Yeah! But with how long you've been out here, it'll get you sick!" He joined my side, trying to usher me down, but I insisted:
"Yeah right! For as long as we've been out on the sea, I don't think anything can give me the sniffles, let alone be sick!"
"Alright, drunky," He laughed with hiccups, finally getting me down and heading toward the door, "Let's get inside."
"Hey, who ya callin' drunky when you're just as drunk as me?!" I spat, both of us staying silent for a moment, then exploding with laughter.
"Okay, okay! Ya got me on that one, Y/N!"
We were such goofballs sometimes, wobbling and laughing so much I about fell over, but walked into my room with Shanks still following, tossing off my drenched clothes:
"Man, I'm soaked," Finding a towel, I began to dry my hair a little, swaying, and in the corner of my eye, Shanks was watching my nude body, cheeks red and his lip caught between his teeth, so I teased, "What's the matter? Never seen a woman naked before?"
Chuckling a little first, I noticed how he clenched his fist slowly, cooing, "Not one as beautiful as you."
His tone was so sweet and it put a bright smile on my face, neither of us bothering to fight temptations as he made his way to me, stroking my cheek and smiling along with me:
"Haven't seen you smile like that in a long time."
Leaning a bit, I kissed the palm of his hand:
"All thanks to you, Shanks."
There was a tingle between my thighs when he took my hip, bringing us chest to chest:
"And oh my, you're so cold."
His hand was beaming with heat as it traced my skin, down my hip and around to my ass, squeezing, our noses meeting, smirking as our lips got closer and closer:
"Let's warm you up, huh?"
The tingle I was feeling started flowing from head to toe, not able to breathe while our lips clashed, my mind racing so quickly that my body acted first:
"You know that rain got you too. How about we get rid of these?"
My hands were already getting rid of his clothes and he helped, taking the time to admire his body, from head to toe, licking my lip at the sight of his cock, only meeting his gaze when I heard him mocking me:
"What's the matter? Never seen a man naked before?"
We both got a giggle out of that, but kept the mood and tempo with our bodies magnetizing toward each other:
"Just haven't seen one that I want as bad as I want you."
Hooking his arm around me, we landed on the bed with a plop, lips not daring to part, throwing my legs apart over him as he sat against the bedframe, chuckling:
"Aww, you want me?"
"All of you, Captain," My tongue swirled against his, humming at the pleasure I got just from rubbing myself against his cock once, his hand lifting me some and swirling his tongue back:
"Take me then," Carefully, he sat me back down on his cock, his girth a lot more than I anticipated, biting my lip and swearing under my breath, following the rhythm of his hand rocking my hip little by little, pushing me down a little further, "You can take all of it, baby doll."
"Y-You're," I swallowed down, my legs already shaking from adjusting, "A lot."
"Here, I'll help," Flipping to the side, leg latched over top of his when he pushed into me, it felt so sweet, just right, and he noticed quickly, "That better?"
"Oh yeah, that's it," Reaching up and wrapping my arm around his head, I was ready for so much more, "Go faster?"
Just a single swoosh of his hips made my hand take a grip of those red locks, the storm still going outside could barely drown out the dirty, salacious moans that came out of me, Shanks not slowing for a second:
"That fast enough for you?"
"Uh-huh!" I pulled his head down to me for a kiss, but between getting railed, his hand rubbing all over any sensitive part of me that he could reach, it grew sloppy, breaking with a filthy smack, "Don't stop!"
The muscles clear up my chest felt like they were squeezing him and refusing to let go, keeping him balls deep. There was already a swirl in my head from drinking earlier, but this couldn't compare, my mind spiraling off, the spin winding faster the closer my body started to give way.
"When it's this good and tight? I'm not gonna," He chuckled, leaning and putting a little more weight on me, the pressure making my heart pound violently, toes curling, shaking with my plea:
"Please don't, Shanks! Please, please, please!"
"I can go all night, baby," The vibration in his chest made me start shaking, steaming hot, and panting like an animal, a crack of thunder making me jump and fall back down onto his cock, his hips still bucking at me, my stomach got hit with such a strong impact, all the built-up heat zoning down into one spot, gushing all over his cock, thighs, and the bed.
"Oh my god," I was barely breathing, head falling back into him, limp, sweat dripping down my forehead, a smile blossoming like a flower in the spring at the sound of his raspy voice:
"Crazier than that storm, huh?"
"And so much better," I sighed with a giggle, turning into a soft cry when he pulled out, missing his fullness already.
We were just a mess, pulling me along with him as he fell to his back, still managing to unload on me, turned on by the sight as he wanted, kissing my ear:
"You and I are gonna have to create some more storms soon." 
2023 © itjazzbicch — do not repost or translate my work. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome
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