#I feel like I love looking into peoples brains with the topic of gender

[sapphosdickandballs]

Ok so, I used to NEVER want to use he/him pronouns. I didn't know my gender but I knew I didn't want to be associated with masculinity

However, when you started using he/him for me, idk it just fucked. Like maybe because Ive been trying to come off as more butch, or bc no one in real life would default to he/him pronouns for me, but whenever you use he/him pronouns for me I get giddy. I feel like a little gender gremlin fucking everything up

(I am not a trans man though, just to make that clear, I'm just genderqueer LMAO)

Good! It just makes sense for you in my brain tbh. I try to spice it up and not just use he/him but that just. Feels right in my brain (side bar I have such a tumblr accent. Random periods and capitalizations. It’s terrible.) so yeah. Be a gender gremlin that’s what we should all aspire to be tbh

[liyawritesss]

ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴋᴇɴᴊɪ ꜱᴀᴛᴏ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇ...

-> synopsis: what would life be like to love the worlds baseball darling and secret superhero Ultraman, Kenji Sato?

-> pairing: kenji sato + black!gn!reader

-> from: ultraman: rising

-> contains: pure fluff, gender neutral, mentions of emiko and emi, 2nd person ('you', 'your', 'yours')

-> a/n: these animators need to stop making these kid movies with fine ass main characters bc whyyyyyyy is he so cute??? why do i wanna baby him in my arms and tell him everything will be okay? LET THIS MAN KNOW PEACE PLEASE!!!

-> join my taglist!

-> tags: @badass-dora-milaje @uranometrias @lees-chaotic-brain @jacuzziwaters

Kenji Sato who loves loves loooooovveeesss those subliminal couples pictures. The ‘private but not secret’ ones. They’re so aesthetically pleasing to him and they allow him to show you off to the world while still maintaining an air of privacy that he cherishes deeply from the media. Kenji is proud to call you his, and wants to show that in all ways possible.

Kenji Sato who is heavy on the couples jewelry. He’s already got a couple of notable pieces in his collection beforehand, and they only expand when you come into his life. In fact, the speculations of his love life come from the fact that people were noticing that he was wearing pieces from brands that were specifically designed for couples. Of course, when asked about it, he never goes into depth about it, and just recites how he thinks they look nice on him…and on someone else.

Kenji Sato who introduces you to his mom only after he’s sure that he wants to be serious with you. I have a feeling Emiko is the type of mom to get attached to their child’s partner in the sense of already viewing them as part of the family very early on, and Kenji wouldn’t want to get her hopes up if something were to happen - he can’t stand to see his mom upset. But when he does introduce you to his mom, you two become the best of friends! So definitely expect to be sent on girls day adventures by Kenji, cuz he’ll definitely be treating the two most important women in his life like royalty.

Kenji Sato who requires a lot of patience to deal - I mean, the man has a lot going on. Being the number one baseball player in the world, saving Japan from threats as Ultraman, and caring for the large kaiju baby Emi is more than a lot on anyone's plate. Kenji’s gonna need someone to understand that his schedule is never solid, and plans may fall through from time to time, and thats not because he’s not trying, but it’s because spontaneity runs his life and things can change at the drop of a hat, out of his control. It’s not the life he asked for, but it’s one he must take on.

Kenji Sato who doesn't exactly know how to bring up the topic of him being Ultraman, much less about Emi, early on in the relationship. I mean, how often do you tell someone that you're Japan's legendary hundred-foot tall superhero or that you're the surrogate parent to a twenty foot tall baby dragon kaiju? As much planning that he does on telling you, it ultimately happens in the worse way possible - you end up finding him mid-transition with Emi in tow...now that's gonna be an interesting story to tell. Spoiler: you stay with him, but now he's subjected to jokes about how is ego isn't the only thing that blows up to an enormous degree.

Kenji Sato who appreciates a partner that can not only deal with spontaneity, but is also rather spontaneous themselves. Surprise dates, random gifts, adventurous propositions out of the blue, I think those kind of things are right up his alley. He’s learned to live life in the moment and to the fullest, because it can be taken from you within an instant, and he wants to cherish every moment he has with you.

Kenji Sato who would spend his money on you religiously. He’ll sit in the dressing room with you as you try on armfuls of clothes, only to hand you his credit card at the end of the haul with a kiss to your temple, encouraging you to buy it all if you desire. And don't let you look at something too long in a display window, because he will have it shipped to your address in two business days. Endless trips post-baseball season in secluded locations so that the two of you can optimize the privacy you desperately crave.

Kenji Sato who’s a little bashful and nervous in the beginning, but eases into the relationship as time goes on. He doesn’t wanna mess up something so good that he has going on. Opening up takes some time, as he’s got some high walls that are hard to climb, but once you do get him to open up and bare his heart to you, don’t take it for granted. He doesn't do this to everyone, only the people he feels will truly return the care and compassion he has - so don’t prove him wrong.

Kenji Sato who seeks your comfort in the middle of the night when sleep evades him, leaving him restless and anxious. Most times, its about his mom and her disappearance, a mystery that's never left his mind. If you don't wake up to find him sitting up in bed deep in thought, or trying to tire himself out in a simulation, he finds comfort in just cuddling you, admiring your sleeping form, and talks about the most random things until the sun begins to peak over the horizon.

Kenji Sato who’s sort of in between the serious lover and the playful lover - he’s maturing in his emotions and how to deal with his past, learning how to communicate better and express himself healthily. Simultaneously, he’s a goofball and a jokester reliving a bit of his childhood in his love with you. Playful banter, jokes and teasing are equally as present as the late night talks and the deep conversations the two of you share.

Kenji Sato who tucks the chain that has his promise ring on it close to his chest, and on game days, rubs his thumb over the gold band for comfort and assurance before he heads up to bat. During championships, he'll ask you to kiss it for good luck, and when he wins, he of course accredits it to you being his 'good luck charm'.

Kenji Sato who loves deeply and fervently, with compassion and the entirety of his heart, who will do his duty and love you unconditionally an proudly while shielding you from the cruel and prying eyes of the public, letting you know time and time again that it will always be you he chooses, no matter what.

If you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment, and reblog for others to see! And don’t be shy to send in a request!

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

You don’t need a skincare beauty routine at all if you don’t want one. 

Of course you need to wash your face at least semi-regularly, just like you need to wash the rest of your body (for hygiene and health - washing germs, sweat and dirt off), and you need to put on sunscreen at least on days where you’ll be outside and there’s an UV index of 3 or higher (for skin cancer prevention). But apart from that? You don’t really NEED to do anything at all. 

Certain beauty influencers and companies will try hard to tell you otherwise but, really, you will not die, the world will not implode, the birds will not stop singing.

Or in slightly more realistic worries: You can live a fulfilling life and be a whole adult, even if you never become the kind of person who religiously does ten steps of skincare every morning. 

You won’t even necessarily have horribly-looking skin without a skincare routine. („horrible“ is a very subjective term when it comes to beauty anyway, and much of what we are taught to think of as horrible is simply the beauty industry pushing a beauty standard that is purposefully unreachable, so you’ll keep buying their products). Think about it: for every person who swears by their 25-step-routine, you’ll find someone who swears by their nothing-but-sunscreen routine - and they’ll both have beautiful skin. Clearly, healthy skin isn’t achieved by any one specific product or routine, otherwise there wouldn’t be that many different products or routines being promoted!

All this is not to say that routines are meaningless. Many people find something in their skincare routine that actually has little to do with skin: regular routines provide stability and comfort. It can be a beautiful moment of calmness before you start the day. Doing the same thing before bedtime every night can help your brain switch into sleep mode more easily. Skincare can be a good way to integrate some pleasant touch and sensory experiences into your daily life. Skincare (different ingredients and what they do etc.) can be a fascinating topic to learn about. Trying a new product can be something exciting to look forward to. And so on, and so forth! 

But none of that changes the simple truth: if you don’t want to have a skincare routine, it’s okay to just not have one. No matter if it’s something like “I’d like one, I just don’t have the energy/ motivation/ headspace/ money/ freedom to build one right now” or “I struggle too much with forming reliable habits to stick to one routine for a longer time” or “Skincare makes me uncomfortable because of gender dysphoria/ sensory overload/ etc.” or if it’s just “I don’t feel like it”  or “I find skincare boring” - it’s okay to not have a routine. Use your sunscreen when necessary and call it a day. You’ll be fine. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[bokutosbiceps]

don't overthink it

tokita ohma x gn!reader | fluff | 1.3k words

prompt: ohma + “since when do you blush around me?”

warnings: some suggestive/18+ themes but nothing explicit

a/n: the more i write for ohms the more i fucking love him 🥺 it’s so pathetic. ALSO, AGAIN, OHMS IS NOT A TYPO. IT’S MY CUTE NICKNAME FOR HIM THAT NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY FROM ME. also i’m p sure i made this gn, but please let me know if there are any gender specific identifiers so I can fix that 😉

18+ MINORS DNI

You scrunched your nose at a tickling sensation that woke you up. Willing your eyes to creak open, you squinted at the bright afternoon sunlight flooding into your window. Not really bothering to find out the source of the tickling, you made an effort to turn around in bed but a sturdy hold on your waist forbade you from doing this. You figured you had just wrapped yourself too tight in your blankets again and made a pushing movement to whatever was around your waist.

The feeling of your fingertips coming into contact with skin made you jolt from your stupor and you fully opened your eyes to see a mess of wavy, brown hair just below you. You knew exactly who this unruly head of hair belonged to. Looking down, you saw Ohma holding on to you tightly, his face nestled in your bosom. You felt your face heat up at the intimacy of the situation and wondered when you ever got this close. Then you remembered.

You had been invited by Ohma to come watch the Kengan tournament, and weeks of watching him train and watching him win matches had ensued, and you were always there after the matches to keep him company. You were one of the few people that Ohma could stand for more than a few minutes; he liked your personality and he liked your face. He really couldn’t complain. But he especially liked how you doted on him after his matches, always worrying over his bruises and scrapes or gaping in awe at his strength despite his injuries.

The events of last night flooded back to you as your brain sprinted to catch up with your thoughts. Ohma had showed up to your hotel room at two in the morning, completely unannounced. You quickly allowed him inside after seeing an unusual look on his face. You had only seen him like this once, and that was after meeting Setsuna for the first time after many years. He looked like he could’ve killed a god in that moment.

After an hour of him silently laying on his back, staring at the ceiling, you coaxed him into speaking. He started to talk about his childhood, his past. You were worried, he was not a sentimental person. You asked him about the future, since it seemed like he was specifically avoiding that topic.

“I don’t think about the future much.” Ohma blinked at the ceiling before turning his gaze to you.

“How can you say that? You’re always thinking about your next meal.” You teased, reaching over to flick him from where you sat cross legged on the bed with him.

“True.” He sat up and propped himself on his elbows still looking at you. “Thinking about the future is pointless, though. I don’t know what will happen and thinking about it won’t change anything.” His gaze was unusually soft.

“Ohms, what’s going on with you? You’re scaring me.” You scooted closer to him and placed your hand on his knee, almost pleading with him. “We’re friends. You can talk to me about anything.”

With speed that only Ohma could muster, he grabbed your hand from his knee and used it to pull you forward into his lap, keeping his eyes trained on yours. Before you could ask what he was doing, he moved your hand to the back of his neck and you gripped it, allowing Ohma to pull you to his lips.

He kissed you roughly, but with a slow sensuality that seemed almost like he was savoring it, drinking in every second. He laid back down on the bed, pulling you on top of him and continuing to move his lips with yours.

You placed your hands on his chest and pressed, effectively pulling your lips from his, only a thin string of saliva connecting you.

“What are you doing?” You panted, somewhat shocked that Ohma had just crossed that bridge with you but also somewhat pleasantly surprised.

“Kissing you.” Ohma smirked up at you, letting his head rest back on the bed, your face still in his large hands.

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been wanting to do it for a long time.” Ohma traced your lips with his thumb, still looking up at you. “Do you want to stop?”

“No.” You muttered, and before you knew it, your head was dipping back down to connect your lips again. Ohma rolled over so that you were under him and separated his lips from yours to pull off his shirt before making quick work of yours.

You and Ohma had crossed the bridge that you never dreamed that you would cross, but you had always hoped you would. And you didn’t know it, but he had been hoping, too.

And now, here he was, cuddled up to you and snoozing peacefully.

You felt your eyelids begin to feel heavy once again and cast aside all of your frantic thoughts to welcome a short nap. You would deal with this later.

Two hours later, you woke up to an empty bed. You assumed you must have been dreaming about the romp you had shared with Ohma last night, or that you woke up in his arms, and turned over on your back to stare at the ceiling. You thought back to how nice it felt to be held by him, kissed by him, touched by him…

Once again, you were jolted from your thoughts by the bathroom door opening and shutting, producing a very naked Ohma.

You sat up quickly, blushing deeply once you realized this was real and you were also very naked, and gathered the sheets to cover your chest.

“Since when do you blush around me?” Ohma cocked an eyebrow as he approached you, standing next to the bed. You averted your eyes from his body, trying your hardest not to stare.

“Since you came in here last night and fucked me?”

“Was it that surprising to you?”

“Yes! I thought we were just friends! You never seemed interested in me, or anyone, for that matter!”

Ohma let out a dry laugh. “You didn’t know I was into you?”

“No, Ohma, I didn’t!”

“Well, now you know.”

Silence ensued for a couple of seconds, both of you wondering how this would continue. You were the first to speak up.

“So, what are we?”

Ohma frowned.

“Labels are stupid, you know? Isn’t it enough to know that I love you?”

Your mind was thrown into a frenzy. He loved you? You had barely ever seen emotions come from this man, but here he was, telling you he loved you?

“Ohma…love? What do you mean by love? As in, like, a friend or a girlfriend, because, we just had sex and—” Ohma shut you up with a kiss and a sigh, a small smile playing on his lips as they met yours. He held your face by your chin once he pulled away. You relaxed a little bit.

“You remember when you asked me what I think about the future?”

You nodded slowly.

“I think about you.” Ohma let go of your chin and gazed down at you. You tried extremely hard to avoid looking at his tanned and toned body before you, since the guy had just confessed to you, but you found yourself really struggling. He spoke again, snapping you out of your lustful daze. “Does that answer your question?”

You thought about it. Ohma was the type of man to mean what he said and say what he meant. If he was telling you he loved you, it must have been because he truly meant it. You stood up and placed your hands on either side of his face, watching your thumbs as they lightly skimmed over his cheekbones. You felt him staring at you as you took your time admiring his features, likely awaiting your response. You placed a chaste kiss to his lips.

“Yes.”

[hotnbloodied]

can you do part 2 of

Yan!Loser X Reader

about how she wake up to see her yandere loser friend there and how she low key also like him and into what he’s doing (and also wants to starts a family)but is to embarrass to tell him (and can there also be smut to)

Sure, this is a bit of a shorter one since I'm not too good at doing part 2 of my one shots. Oh, and, since part 1 was with a gender neutral reader I decided to keep the reader as gender neutral. Hope you enjoy.

-˚ʚ♡ɞ˚HB˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Yan!Loser X Reader (pt. 2)

!Warning! This post contains yandere themes and topics that may be uncomfortable to people who are sensitive to the topic, read at your own discretion.

TW: kidnapping, drugging, dub-con, obsessive behavior, confinement, delusional yandere.

!!READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!! MINORS DNI!!

Pt. 1

Your head felt heavy, your throat felt dry. What the fuck happened last night? You tugged at your arms and realized you were stuck, your heart rate picks up, waking you up even further. You look around the room, it was very minimal with a red and black theme to it. The main standout was the pictures of you plastered all over the room. “Hello?” You shouted out as best as you could, “is anyone there?” Not long after you heard footsteps and the door to the room bursting open, Lester gripping the handle, a smile creeping onto his face. “Hello darling!” You feel your brows crease before asking, “darling…?” “That’s right! I knew we were meant to be together ever since you sat next to me when we met.” You looked at Lester, you didn’t realize he felt like this the entire time. It made you think back to all the time you two spent together and reflect on the relationship between the two of you.

You snapped out of your thoughts when you felt pressure on the bed. Lester was making his way over to you, slowly looming closer and closer until he was on top of you. He laid his head on your chest, “your heartbeat sounds different when you are awake, darling. There’s more life to it.” You blush at his words, he’s always been like this hasn’t he? All the times you thought he muttered something under this breath only for him to pretend nothing of the sort happened. “Lester, wait–” He cuts you off, “no, I’m not waiting anymore.” The sound of tape reverberated through the room and before you could make another peep you feel it being plastered over your mouth. “I’ll show you how much I love you, then you’ll understand that I’m the only one for you.”

Lester starts shakily kissing your cheeks, hot breath touching your skin after each kiss. You could feel him slowly starting more and more worked up by how he’s rubbing himself on your thigh. You couldn’t help but think he was a little cute with his actions. Suddenly you feel something wet enter your ear, this tongue? Shiver involuntarily course through your spine and you whimper through your taped mouth. “You know, I’ve always wanted to try giving a hickey. You’ll let me, right darling?” He proceeded to chomp down on your neck, making you flinch, his teeth slowly grazing on the skin before his lips proceeded to slowly but harshly suck. Ah fuck, he was getting you worked up, you could feel it in your pants; which he snaked his way into. “Oh? Looks like I’m doing a better job than I expected in loosening you up darling. Enough so you can take me.” His fingers play with your opening as he still works on creating more hickies on your neck. You quickly get to the point where you’re just desperate to be filled now as you move your hips with his fingers trying to get to your climax. He stops working his fingers and repositions himself with his face between your legs, tonguing, licking and lapping at your sensitive bits causing your brain to get all fuzzy and your body to feel like it was melting into more pleasure.

Finally, he positions himself between your legs and slowly fills you until he’s all the way in. He pumps his dick in and out of you, the rhythm starting off slow but soon picking up speed until it felt like the pleasure cascades into a crescendo and the orgasm ripples through both of you. He finishes in you and slides next to you after the fact, cooing about wanting a family with you. “I think our children would look so cute, what do you think? …Oh right! Your mouth is still taped isn’t it? I’m going to take it off okay? But you have to be good.” There was no way that tape being ripped off your face wasn’t going to hurt but, fuck, it stung. He watched intently as you adjusted your mouth to being free again, eagerly awaiting your next words with heightened anticipation. “I think…” you start, “we got this far, but I expect a house,” you joked.

Lester looks at you with a blank expression, it more so seemed surprised, “wait, so you agree?” You blush, “it’s not the worst plan in the world.” Lester engulfed you into a hug, “oh thank you, thank you darling. I swear, I’ll make you the happiest in the world,” before showering you with kisses. He almost couldn’t believe it, you were willing to be his, well, you were going to be his no matter what but this made things easier for him. Not that it mattered much, you were never going to ever escape him, even if you wanted to darling.

Pt. 1

[legacygirlingreen]

Topic: Sebastian and Solomon Sallow HCs

TW: mild discussion of abuse

It’s been almost a year in the fandom and I love seeing people continue to expand on the headcanon and lore surrounding these characters. The discussion of Solomon and his abusive tendencies comes up a lot towards his nephew. Beyond just the verbal - which we get a mild glance at paired with the elements told by Sebastian - one might can infer there’s more to the story.

Some people have proposed Sebastian possibly living in that shack (I can’t remember who exactly plus please feel free to tag and I’ll add them). Discussions of how physical the abuse is have happened in many locations.

As for why I love the HC of Solomon (forcibly) cutting Sebastian’s hair stems from the importance of hair in the time the game exists. Hair was an important aspect of home making - specifically with mothers to their children and fathers teaching their sons how to groom. Lack of parental figures that care can lead to those who seek to harm - thus why it makes sense in my brain for Solomon to do this.

Hair also played an important role between lovers - with things like hair locks being gifted by both genders to the other and rising to the use of lockets to hold locks of hair in a way to always keep that person close to your heart.

Sebastian frequently is shown in cut scenes scratching the back of his neck nervously, and while some people have the nervous tick of biting their nails this often one we see for him.

Solomon forcing unwanted appearances onto his nephew truly seems within the realm of possibility in my mind, especially when you consider the time period, the fact it truly looks so uneven in the game and he stays at a baseline upset with Solomon.

On the flip side Solomon could be seeing this as a means to help with comfortability during hot summers despite not enjoying the task. As far as Victorian standards go it was a task usually reserved for the woman of the house until a certain age. We don’t get any clues on if he had children of his own and suddenly going from a bachelor auror to having to take care of your brother’s children likely wasn’t a light adjustment. His frustration at the situation at times might’ve come out towards those kids, putting stops to things he might’ve found difficult to watch his brother allow when the Sallow’s were alive.

I could speak at length about this topic of how their relationship might’ve grown more and more strained with time but I digress.

Almost one year ago I wrote a fic expressing a possible way in which Solomon might’ve pushed that boundary of abusive behavior with his nephew is in aggressively cutting his hair . This lead me down a rabbit hole of jumping back in fandom. those who have stuck around since March of 2023 for the ride with over 250k words of Sebastian content across my main fic, mini fic and one shots : thank you💚

In the spirit of this I would LOVE to hear any further ideas on this head cannon so if you have some please feel free to comment, dm or put it in my ask box! I love hearing your theories! Especially when it comes to the interesting relationship between Solomon and Sebastian.

Since then it’s been wonderful to watch this head canon grow:

@writing-intheundercroft has furthered it by suggesting that the reason it looks so terrible is sheep shears - which utterly cracks me up in ways I cannot express !

@mrsbrookemunson also wrote a one shot tackling the same concepts and you can find it here:

And if you’re interested in my work it’s here:

Anywho, this is a simple reminder that we can all share a lot of the same ideas and also expand on them in ways that bring us together as a collective and not divide. I’ve seen so much hate, accusatory behavior in the HL fandom the last few months and it’s growing tiresome. I love seeing how we can all share our thoughts and bring new and developing ideas to the same characters, creating our own lore which expands beyond the canon.

Again, I look forward to hearing others chime off on their thoughts on the matter. I know a lot of people have opinions of Solomon so please let me know 🤣

[mildlyfunctional]

Every now and again, I've got to post more on Queen. Despite the fact I left the fandom years ago now, so much stuff still swirls around my brain—that's what Tumblr is for I suppose.

This swirl of things, however, is a topic I've always wanted to expand upon more somehow, but brushed aside because it felt too much like the influence of personal bias, or I had too much lack of personal connection—and surely if this were actually true, someone will have written on it.

The feeling I have is: there's a lot of queerphobia in how the life and legacy of Freddie Mercury is articulated, and that ultimately the main reason that the members of Queen (and affiliated people) have acknowledged Freddie Mercury as LGBTQ+ is because of his death from AIDS-related complications.

When I was coming into my own queerness, I remember being really struck by how much I'd find connection in some aspect of Freddie's queerness, and then I'd be reading a biography or watching an interview and see how it was perceived by others as strange, suspect, bad, or as ultimately a cause of death—looking at you every Queen documentary that goes "and then Freddie found the gay community, ultimately his cause of death".

I think about things like how Hot Space (1982) is perceived because of being Queen's step into disco and the "gay club sound". I love Hot Space, so I'm a little bit biased, but I do wonder why the blame for this weaker album is always based on it's genre rather than on the cohesiveness of the band during that time. That's really suspect to me, especially on an album with hits like Under Pressure—one of the most recognizable songs, and baselines, of the last 40 years.

Generally, I think it's also so strange to be a queer person and see Freddie Mercury—an incredibly queer person—rarely be acknowledged as that. Freddie Mercury played with gender, performance, sexuality, morality, and the boundaries of respectability constantly and that's only ever discussed as "just who Freddie was"—not also as a presentation with context and relatability to a wider community.

I used to think that perhaps all these feelings were just in my head, something I was feeling just to feel worse about my own queerness at a time when I couldn't be out. But over the years, I've only continued to gain more context for these feelings, and thus, they've only continued to grow. The unfortunate thing about any person who's passed, is that they've finished speaking for themselves. There's never going to be a right way of talking about Freddie's identity and self-representation. I just wish his queerness was more often acknowledged, not just his sexuality and death.

[dnphobe]

Looking at how they've presented themselves over time is always interesting. I think the queer experience of slowly questioning societal and gender norms (and gender, in many cases) is something I recognize in them. Im also curious how Phil's journey is different because he was out to his close ones for a lot longer, and it feels like Dan has more fun shouting about being gay because of the trauma that he associated with the label. I loved seeing their support of queer identities even when they were publicly closeted. It's nice that, even if they weren't comfortable being out, they wanted everyone to know they were a safe space

i agree! the different ways they've presented themselves to us over the years is one of my favourite topics to talk about tbh!

dan's journey wrt to gender presentation and how he feels about gender (not gonna theorise on how he identifies bc what do i know, but to quote him he's fine with being viewed as a man but also not offended if people use pronouns/gendered terms outside of that to refer to him) is interesting because he's said he's always been "flamboyant" but tried to hide that in his youtube career for a long time, and he's gone from saying "i can't do it i'm just such a boy" about painting his nails to having them painted more often than not, but also in day in the life of manchester he said he sometimes wishes he was a girl when looking at 'women's clothing', so it's clearly something he's felt for a long time.

i don't think phil necessarily feels the same pull to be gender non-conforming, but it is also something he's struggled with doing (in one of the stereo shows, when talking about the maid dress he wore in VPMO 2, he said that while it was a cheap joke outfit, a few years ago he would not have felt comfortable wearing a dress at all) so that might be something he's still working toward being comfortable with, but at the same time he's never felt shame about telling us things like he likes using raspberry scented body wash or that he does skin care (while when phil mentioned doing skin care dan was clutched by toxic masculinity saying "don't do- i mean that's fine!"

agree with dan having more fun shouting about being gay because of the trauma and i'm so glad he's reached where he is now! phil...i think for a long time he thought he didn't NEED to shout about being gay, especially because like you said he was out to a few people for longer. but i think it's something he realised he DID want to do after coming out to us. as he said in his coming out one year later video he didn't realise how much of himself he was holding back from us by not being out and it feels like a weight off his shoulders now. i think they both love being gay and shouting about being gay and celebrating that with us and im so proud of phil too <3 i actually have a hot take which is i think if it wasn't for dan's coming out he might have never fully come out to us, not just in a "if dan never had he never would have" way, but in a "if he and dan never met he wouldn't have" way, because he IS a private person and didn't think he was missing out on anything.

i am always so glad they made sure we knew they were accepting of us even if they weren't ready to be out. ngl it got kind of rough in like 2012 for me when dan was so adamantly against people thinking he was gay my own internalised homophobia brain went "does he hate gay people?" but that's on me, not him, or more accurately on BOTH of our internalised homophobia situations lmao. but yeah they've always been so sweet about their queer and trans fans, and one thing i personally appreciate so much is how they will use they/them for any fan they don't know the gender of no matter what their name/appearance/voice would make other people assume their gender to be! i feel so safe with them, and im gonna add this bc im still sappy after this weekend, so safe with phannies too <3 i think phannies queer identities and dnp's queer identities have ALWAYS flowed into each other and both sides of the parasocial line have made the other side feel safe and grow into their identities and helped them accept and appreciate other people's identities.

[mirroredmemoriez]

Amanda Young style and fem whatnot thoughts

Once again here to speak my thoughts that nobody asked for because I love documenting my brain which I have to boot up like a chainsaw. I've spoken about Amanda's appearance before! Going over her outfits throughout the franchise and such and how I believe it kinda symbolises the stages she's at- I am in the firm belief her cutting her hair was almost like a rebirth for example.

However, right now I'm looking at the ''gender representation'' and stylisation side I guess? Which, I want to state- These are my opinions and thoughts and are by no way to say I'm like the only CORRECT view and anyone else's interpretation of Amanda that's different to mine is wrong, because I like seeing everyone's various takes on her character. With that said! I see Amanda as somebody who tries to be feminine, but can't express it truly how she wants? Down to factors such as she can't afford certain things like makeup accessories, and that she needs to have more of a practical wardrobe whilst being an apprentice. Oh! Also having to hide her identity at times. (I also want to slide in the fact that I don't think she's hyper feminine or masculine, honestly? She's just Amanda really, I wouldn't personally put a label on it when it comes to that.)

The first look we get of Amanda, she's in a way more revealing outfit than her future ones whilst working under John. This could just be her style, which to a certain degree I agree on... However there also could be an aspect of performative femininity, seeing as she's not ''reformed'' at this point and it's suggested in the Saw wiki that she has prostituted herself to be able to fund her drug addiction before. Basically, catering to the male gaze to get what she wants. She's wearing a cut off shirt which exposes her shoulders and collar area a lot, something we don't see again until Saw 3- And even then it's still not as cut off as the purple one. Amanda also has fishnets, a skirt and boots on. If I had to say how I view Amanda' style myself, I'd go with Hot Topic thief and or something alternative like ''grungy.'' We've also got the fact she has black nail polish on, eyeliner and more curled out hair- Even when she grows it back, it's not as wavy as it's seen here, so it's possible she's either just heavily dishevelled or she purposely has maybe curled it out a little. Once again, this could possibly be her trying to look more appealing to others by ''grooming'' herself better. However, I also think she wants to just for herself really.

Now, we've got her Saw X look, which to me is the most heavily influenced by John. Amanda has cut off her hair to I guess kinda a pixie-bob cut? A big leap from her previous haircut which had it falling at least over her shoulders if not longer. She's also very bare faced, with no heavily noticeable touches of makeup anywhere to be seen. Her clothes are drastically more practical than her previous outfit. A form fitting shirt, cargo pants and combat boots. The only influence I feel she has on this outfit is the choker and little earring. You can't really blame her for the change though- Amanda just wouldn't be putting time into something like beauty cosmetics or making any fashion statement when she's got shit to do... Y'know like make death traps and kidnap people, activities where the way you look doesn't matter and you wouldn't want your clothes to get caught on something especially.

Before I fully move on to her Saw 2 look, two honourable mentions! These both showcase the fact that nowadays, when Amanda is out and about, she's trying to hide her identity. She can't really draw any attention to herself and that is reflected in what she wears. The Scott Tibbs Documentary look has to be one of my favourites, I love the skull trousers so much and they are definitely something she wears because she likes the LOOK, not just because of ''simplicity.''

(Amanda has them on again in the deleted nightmare scene as well, so it's a recurring piece of her wardrobe.)

(I also think this is her dressing for herself- Compared to her outfits when it comes to the games and abductions)

The pig outfit, though I believe can be slightly stupid at times, due to the fact that it's probably less convenient than whipping on something like a balaclava with a hoodie and a bit more out there visually too- It still does it's main intended job, which is to conceal the identity of the Jigsaw apprentices. With the one I've selected above, this is when Amanda is going to abduct Adam, so obviously this is still pretty early in the timeline? We can see a re-appearance of smudged eye makeup like in her introduction.

TRYING TO GET BACK ON TRACK! Here we have her ''blue'' outfits as I dub them. I'm aware there is a time jump between them, however generally what I have to say for them is the exact same? We can see that Amanda is growing her hair out more and I would say these are very relaxed fits. Saw 2 Amanda has to be one of her most basic outfits I'd say, a plain blue shirt and blue sweatpants to go along with it.... The wiki feet people are going insane too.

WOOOOO! ON TO ANOTHER OF MY FAVOURITE OUTFITS. YOU JUST KNOW SHE STOLE THAT BELT FROM HOT TOPIC I AM SO SORRY! Saw 3 Amanda to me is a mix between something like her look in Saw X and then her look in Saw (2004)- I also love the contrast between it and the Saw 2 look, a blue vs red type feel almost? You're definitely more inclined to see Amanda as intimidating here than in blue. Comparisons aside, let's look at the actual fit this woman has on! Once again, she sports cargo pants with a belt to accompany and combat boots too. The shirt isn't as cut off as the purple one as I stated before, but it leaves a lot of her collar and back area exposed. It's her influence alongside John's- And her almost I wouldn't say rebelling? But defining herself outside of him. If I once again want to go full English teacher analysis... We could make the reach and say that her physically exposing herself is paired with how she emotionally is exposed as well. Her lowest points if you will. BUT! We'll move on from that so I can ramble about some other accessories. Amanda is wearing a gold ring and a watch, nothing too out there but I wanted to point them out seeing as I am covering the WHOLE outfit. Her hair is now at it's original length, once again reinforcing the fact she is almost reverting back to her old style but at the same time redefining it? Hair growth to show personal growth. (Some more honourable mentions.)

Here we have her dress, leather jacket and DBD concept art! First we'll look at the dress. It's honestly really cute to me- The ribbon around her neck just really makes it AMANDA, otherwise there isn't too much to say on the design outside of that and it's colour. Then moving on to the leather jacket, it's something I can definitely see her wearing a lot on top of her other outfits. OK! This is getting super fucking long now, I'll try and finish off soon- I have to say I love the DBD concept art and the in game designs too, I can 100% see where they've taken inspiration from with the outfits. I'm in firm belief Amanda deserves to have her arm sleeves so where they've combined that and the Saw 3 look is URHG YES. I also enjoy their take on her leather look, fleshed out the design more in my opinion. Anyway... If you've somehow gotten all the way down here? Jesus Christ, thanks I guess? I am someone who loves over analysing things and discussing characters/movies like this, so I just couldn't help myself anymore. Oh, and feel free to add on to any of this, whether you agree or disagree! MAL OUT

[hauntedwizardmoment]

okay jess. i made the underwear post. what about the lingerie.

OKAY SO. there are a few things at play here so im just gonna go through them one by one

for jace:

jace's love of fine things. this is practically canon to me. he loves his expensive green velvet couch, his cashmere maroon sweater, his veuve clicquot brut yellow label champagne, etc etc he is soooo into the finer things in life. hence, lingerie. lots of lace and silk and ribbons. LOVES the texture and the way they feel against his skin.

jace's desire to be desired. have you seen that quote from robber bride by margaret atwood? jace read that and said "but that's good actually??" he likes knowing other people, ESPECIALLY porter, find him attractive, that they Want him, that they're watching him put on the show of a lifetime. and lingerie is a way to make himself more enticing to watch

jace genderfuckery hours. i think @zukkacore did something to my brain with dyke jace and now its all i can think about. what IF he got to dress up a little bit.

my theory of jace's sexuality includes him using sex as a tool to get what he wants and well. playing into porter's whole masculinity neuroses where he's this Big Strong Man who is Conquering and Ravishing the Weak Pretty Sex Object is a great way to manipulate him into things. the amount of presents he's wrung out of porter by asking for them in a post-coital afterglow is insane.

his favorite kind of lingerie is, imo, lacy two-piece sets, but he ALSO loves the ones with garters and stockings. please picture starbreaker wedding night roleplay where porter rips off jace's garter with his teeth. thank you. as for colors... i mean you know i'm sticking with jewel tones UNLESS it's the aforementioned wedding night roleplay because then jace is in white and pale blue or pink.

for porter:

i have been BARELY restraining myself from making posts about transfem porter for weeks now. the amount of times ive almost posted "corollary podcast to complicated women called could transition have saved her and the first episode is about porter cliffbreaker" today alone. so. yknow. lingerie as a method of gender exploration. in an alternate universe where she's not confined by the Evil Plan.

for something more canon-adjacent, i could see porter being a silk robe guy. again he's not on jace's level but it IS something delicate and soft and non-utilitarian that he lets himself have.

keeping with canon-adjacency, and this is gonna sound sad, i honestly don't think porter even tells jace about this part of him because he can't handle being seen as Weak due to [handwaves at his nightmare-inducing complexes about his masculinity]. he truly believes that if ANYONE found out something catastrophic would happen.

however porter loooooves lingerie on jace. he has opinions on what jace wears, likes having that level of control over him and how much jace wants to please him. obviously he loves to rip jace's pretty underwear apart and leave him looking absolutely ruined whenever they fuck.

okay finally these are all the thoughts i have on them WOW this got long sorry about that. but it really truly is a topic that needs exploration i think!!

[elliesgaythoughts]

i love you writing for trans ellie so much!

but doesn't calling her 'daddy' in those fics maybe feel a little odd? like she's still perceived as something 'male'.

this is absolutely no hate! i love all of your fics sm. just curious about your insight on this :)

i get where you’re coming from fr, I personally look at daddy as a gender less term. To me it’s just a pet name straight up, that’s it too me.

The same could be used with baby if you look into it too much, why tf you calling someone a baby??😭

But what I think it is, is that trans Ellie is such a delicate topic bc the last thing we ever wanna do is in anyway make a trans woman fell less than a woman, there’s enough people doing that in this world so we overanalyse everything and nitpick at our fics in fear of othering our women.

But I will take what you said into account and probably stray from using that word if it’s gonna make some of you feel some type of way (bc I love y’all and I’d never wanna make my lil boo’s feel like I’m not thinking of them and trying to take their feelings into account🤍)

(But also I’m like fighting two arguments in my head bc no one bats an eye when non trans Ellie is called daddy so I’m kinda like would trans women want us to tip toe around the term or would that make them feel off, like bitch just call me daddy tf😭)

Girl I just realised I also called her mama in the fic😭 (I’m a mixed bag fr)

my brain does this I always have to sides to what I’m trana say and I never know who’s right

[eryanlainfa]

important thought i just had. how do you imagine hugo’s gender nonconformity like how does he identify with any label in particular or is he just Like that. and more importantly do you think he’s already figured it out by the time he meets the gang or do you think the egg breaks later. BC SEE i’ve always imagined up until the trials shes never had the time to think about herself at ALL, like she obviously knows shes kinda *flicks wrist* yk but otherwise she’s never really actually come to any real conclusions about herself. so i think as soon as they move in with varian and once they’ve finally settled and they have SO much free time and so many things going on in their head, they’re trying new hobbies and finding all sorts of things to tinker with and most importantly they finally have the opportunity to care about their appearance and suddenly the gender crisis hits them like a fucking FREIGHT TRAIN

all this is to say because. I was thinking about that again today and then i remembered aiden and it was like my third eye opened bc i realized the sheer potential in that scenario with airigo. like i feel like aiden would’ve seen that shit coming a MILE AWAY and i think that’d be so cute and also so fucking funny and. I need to hear your thoughts ok

[Hi. Future Ery talking. I started rambling and I have no clue if what I said is actually coherent or even answers your question at all- But the idea was there! Also I personally headcanon everything and anything, I love switching labels of one character and making a whole new au for it. But covering EVERYTHING would be too long so I answered regarding Aiden's main timeline only- but if you want me to talk about transfem Hugo in particular I'd love to!!]

Sobbing and crying this is so cute and funny your brain is wonderful mwah mwah. I think all you said could 100% work and I can see a version where it would make sense for Hugo to not had the time to discover themself properly. And Aiden just clocking her right away is so funny 😭

Saddly it wouldn't work in Aiden's original timeline simply because, in this case, Hugo wouldn't be Hugo if he hadn't transition already.

I've never really openly delved into my headcanons for the whole gang, because I like people being able to interpret my art however they want (and also because I can change my mind whenever and no one would know-). But in Aiden's universe, Hugo isn't amab.

But to go back on how I imagine Hugo's gender noncomformity!

Firstly, in universe, I'm not sure neither Hugo nor Aiden really identify with a gender label. They don't really have a word for it so they're just how they are. But I personally label him as bigender transmasc. And I do still label them as gay. Cuz. Queer homosexuals representation. Yay.

Secondly- Hugo actually transitioned before figuring out his gender. Being an orphan is already harsh, being poor is terrible and he figured being female generally made things more difficult. So she didn't want to be one. When he got recruited by Don for the first time he was already dead set on not wanting to be a girl and didn't have a name anymore so Donella is the one who named him Hugo. I think Don was "supportive" as in she really didn't care, and if helping Hugo transition meant he would be more useful then that worked for her just fine. So Hugo got to transition but it wasn't really because he didn't feel like he wasn't a girl, she just didn't think it would be advantageous for him to be one.

Sorry I got sidetracked- cough- Back on topic.

One thing I wanted regarding Hugo's relationship to gender is the fact that he is comfortable being fem BECAUSE he got to transition.

For work they would play whichever role worked best no matter the gender. At first, looking like a guy needed more work, which bothered him because it was his goal, so for a while he had a clear preference for appearing masculine. But years later, after having transitioned to a comfortable point, she figured she really didn't mind being either gender. And it made playing different roles even more fun and easy for them. Not necessarily in a fluid way, he's just everything at once most of the time.

So he already got herself figured out quite well when 7k starts. Actually, Hugo being openly queer is another reason why she caught Aiden's interest so fast. And I wanted them to mirror each others in a way, with Hugo being comfortable because he transitioned and Aiden being more comfy doing the absolute bare minimum-. Also I had this one joke that sometimes Nuru and Hugo would have girls nights during the journey. So I needed she/her Hugo for all of this to work lol. But I do believe Hugo still gets to affirm and discover himself even more after he settles, it's just mostly about other things.

BUT YOU KNOW WHO'S EGG GOT TO CRACK DURING THE TRIALS IN MY MIND-??? Varian. He's agender. My whole gang is trans and the joke was that Varian is the token cis guy of the group (because I thought it was funny). But he isn't. He just doesn't know because he's always too busy thinking of literally anything else and he never really registered that was an option. He still uses he/him tho. Because I enjoy gender fuckery.

In summary :

○ Bigender ○ agender ○ genderfluid ○

Also, since I decided to finally talk about my headcanons, I think too many people assumed Aiden is the one pregnant -in that one comic-. They aren't.

[daphdarling]

Haikyuu matchups? =0 yes please!! =D

she/her, Aries Star + Taurus Rising, ENTP. I'm pan so any gender is fine with me =)

Personality: I'm usually a very optimistic and cheerful person. I have little to no volume control. I'm very open and friendly. I have a dark sense of humor. I'm a procrastinator with the attention span of a dragonfly. Not sure if it matters but I'm autistic and waiting on an ADHD diagnosis. I can read people's emotions pretty easily, and while I might not be the best at comforting people, I try my best!! As for flaws, I'm impulsive. I tend to act/speak before my brain can catch up with what I'm about to do, which causes problems often. I'm indecisive, stubborn, and a bit dishonest. I've been told I brighten up people's days, though sometimes I wish I knew how to brighten up my own day. I get frustrated and annoyed easily, and I'm very sensitive. People have told me I'm chaotic, though I'm not sure if I am. I'm energetic though, which might be why I'm drawn to people who are calm and have a comforting presence. I have a bad habit of picking/chewing on my fingernails.

Romance: My love language is physical affection. I'm a huge fan of subtle PDA. If I have a partner, I will hold their hand EVERYWHERE and give them random cheek/forehead kisses. Quality Time is also very important to me, and although sometimes this leads to me being clingy, I can tell when my partner needs space. Around my partner, I will try to flirt with them by using insults in a humorous way while also snapping at anyone who dares insult them. I will also try to learn more about their interests, and show them my own interests. I often find myself drawn to softies people who can balance me out. I often like to say I want a moon to my sun, though I'd also want them to be a bit similar to me so we have stuff to bond over.

Hobbies and random likes: I love listening to music! Mother Mother, Crane Wives, occasionally some Cavetown or Lana Del Ray. I also like to watch cartoons and play videogames. I love to come up with various food combinations, such as BBQ sauce on tacos or putting Cheetos in my ham sandwiches. I like singing too! I love the color orange, especially pastel orange. I also like sharks, reading articles on activism, and journalism. I love perfumes that have REAL smells, like mint and lemon and vanilla. I like collecting stickers, and temporary tattoos. My body is a canvas, and I intend to cover it head-to-toe in art. I also collect plushies!! And, of course, Indie Rock/Indie Folk music has my heart and soul forever.

Looks: short curly hair(side-shave) dyed bright blue, kinda flat, dark brown eyes, acne scars, 5'2(I'm not sure if that counts as short or tall)

Other: I have a pet hermit crab named Rocky and he is my son. When I grow up I want to grow the family and get a smol turtle!!

Dam... I just realized how long this is... I'm sorry for making you read all this ToT if it makes you feel better I think your blog is very pretty and I like it a lot, especially the aesthetic. I hope you have a great day!! =) here, have a song recommendation as a thank-you/congratulations for reading all this: Pelicans We by Cosmo Sheldrake

YOUR MATCHUP IS…

KEI TSUKISHIMA!!!

Personality Match:

Tsukishima is clever, a bit sarcastic, and has a darker sense of humor, which complements your own. While he can be reserved, he’s also capable of understanding emotions, making him a good fit for your empathetic nature.

Romantic Connection:

Tsukishima can be playful with his teasing, and your humorous insults would resonate with him. He appreciates quality time but doesn’t need constant attention, so he’d respect your need for space while also enjoying your affectionate nature.

Hobbies and Activities:

He enjoys reading and has a keen interest in strategy, which could lead to engaging conversations about various topics, including your interests in activism and journalism. You could bond over your shared moments, whether watching cartoons or discussing music.

Looks and Vibes:

Tsukishima’s tall and slightly aloof demeanor contrasts nicely with your bright energy. His calm presence would provide a balance to your impulsiveness, creating a dynamic relationship.

Final Thoughts

Together, you’d have a relationship filled with witty banter and deep conversations. Tsukishima’s understanding nature would help you navigate your feelings, while your lively spirit would bring excitement and fun to his life. You’d challenge and inspire each other beautifully!

[choshasan]

Let's talk Fictosexuality and Science for a sec

I previously pisted this on Hoyolab, several weeks ago, but I felt like tumblr needed to hear it too after looking through the #animesexual tag and seing so much uneducated hate.

First of all, Fictosexuality is the attraction to Exclusively **OR** almost exclusively fictional character, and it has many subbranches, that even I myself don't know all of them, and it falls under the umbrealla terms of Asexuality and Aromantism.

My original post from Hoyolab, corrected as best I could:

Fun science fact: a study proved that your brain cannot, in fact, tell apart the feelings you feel for a fictional character, to those you would feel a real human, Other studies have proved that it could be easier to get attached to a character rather than a real human as it is easier to get to know them and know them deeper than you would a real person, (the way they think, their full day to day routine, etc.) Therefore, yes. Scientifically speaking, you could, in fact, 100% fall in love with a fictional character, and it's not being delusional, that's just your brain and emotions working the normal way they should be!

Some of the replies I felt should be brought up:

Reply: I think some of the problem here is that, in English, we only have one word for love & a lot of native English speakers don't understand our single word is actually a spectrum of every type of love that exists; and that a person can feel some types of love without having another person reciprocate those feelings. Combine that lack of understanding with the need to be the winner of any disagreement, and you get people like the ones in this comment section who are saying you're wrong without giving any explanation for their opinion.

>

Me: Yeah, I can 100% see that. I also feel like theres this wrong mentality that a lot of people have been tought that "you HAVE to find THE one and only for you! You MUST find your ONE TRUE LOVE!" When love is totally just a spectrum and that is different for everyone. Semi-unrelated but I also feel thats where the argument that AroAce folks aren't real started from. Because people are just so convinced that everyone just has a one true love and that they'll get their one true love with no work// doing the bare minimum.

There was more replies I wanted to bring up, but filtering through over 600 comments is very hard, espetially when the hoyolab app lags, sorry.

I have so much more I wanna say on the topic because it is a topic that fascinates me, espetially as someone who identifies with Animesexuality and has found great comfort and peace in this lable.

Also, there are some people who would make the counter arguments "Fictional characters aren't a gender"

No, they are not, but you can be Gay/sapphic/lesbian/bi/pan/omni/etc. + Fictosexual.

It's as if saying you can't be aromantic but be attracted to [gender] sexualy. (Or the other way around)

People don't need to limit themselves to one and only one lable, you can be Gay Aromantic, Bi Asexual, for examples and so many more.

Another argument often made is "you can't be attracted to an innanimate object"

... they're not an object, an object needs a physical form to be, first of all.

Second, a character is a representation of a fictive **PERSON** not a fictive Object, they are real humans//creatures, they just don't have a "real physical form".

There's also the "They're not real".

They aren't real human beings that you can touch physically, they are "real". they are created characters that can be percieved, they just don't have a real, touchable physical form, but saying something isn't "real" because it's not an existing person / object on this earth is like saying Air or Gravity doesn't exist because you can't see it with your eyes. They can't be seen but they can be percieved and they are proven to exist. Plus, "they aren't real" they have been created, yes they are. Again, just not under a physical form, do you look at someone painting a landscape and say "it's not real." Because it's painted??? It can be percieved by the human mind therefore it is real in a form or another.

TL;DR: Fictosexuality is a real, science supported even (in a way), sexuality.

Some links to help better understand // further understand;

[grumpybunny-edith]

Furry HRT comics have been something my brain kinda constantly returns to over the last... since people started making them, and so just like anything else I'm really invested in, I feel like I need to analyze them as a phenomenon a little bit.

In some ways, I feel like the most popular formats of these comics are informed by a traditional or uncomplicated view of medical transition. Every character is presented as being able to get an appointment pretty simply, and all live in proximity to their endo. Their initial appointment usually sucks, but characters get what they're looking for and generally don't experience any more roadblocks. The meds people take are always compatible with them, and do not cause any unexpected or adverse side effects.

There's also the assumption in many of these comics that transition has a definite "end". There exists a point where a character is "done", more or less, which isn't accurate to transgender experiences and pushes some of the harmful narrative perpetuated by the medical system. This structure, as well as the fact that furry HRT generally functions more quickly than transgender HRT, is helpful to the format of the stories as short-form narratives, as it helps create a satisfying conclusion.

This is all great for what the format and narratives seem to be trying to convey. Even in amongst the body horror which is common to the narrative, which is in itself useful for exploring how something many view as horrible or uncanny (such as gender transition), they are stories about trans joy. They're about some of the adversity we face, finding happiness among that adversity, and sharing in it with our communities. They're also about finding an authentic self through a medical process that isn't seen in reality, and how regardless of how strange people find something, happiness and self love are what is most important.

But also, when I reflect on these narratives, I sometimes struggle to see myself in them. I'm a person who has spent her entire time medically transitioning dealing with shitty, non-fantastical roadblocks; and it's never the fault of a shitty doctor. Prescriptions take a long time to deliver, insurance doesn't wanna cover it, drugs don't work properly (or sometimes too well, and my doctor starts thinking I have a tumor in my brain), that kind of stuff.

And part of why this bums me out is that there's still so much joy there. It takes more work to love oneself when you spend a month or two off for every three months on, but it's a beautiful thing when you do. There's a whole side of the community engaging with things like DIY HRT, helping and looking after one another even when the medical system won't. There's also people microdosing HRT, either because they're unsure how they feel about it, or there's something in the "in-between" that feels right for them.

Of course artists should put to the page the stories that they want to tell. This post honestly was helping me do the same thing by orienting my thoughts. I'm just yearning for stories that feel a little bit closer to the life I've lived and noticing trends that feel reminiscent of the ways the system hurts us. I love and appreciate every single one of these stories and I hope people don't stop making them - there's so much uniquely trans joy to be had in them. I guarantee this isn't the last of what I have to say about the topic; there's too much here worth celebrating and reading closer.

[the-cannibal]

I love your writing so much! Can I please request Bo Sinclair (or the sinclair brothers if you’d prefer) with an s/o who is unhealthily obsessed with them? Tysm! I understand if you don’t want to do it and you can completely change the topic to whatever you’d like or not do it !

Awww thank you so much! That means a lot to me! This prompt is so interesting I’ve been thinking about it all morning and I’m so excited to do it for you! Thanks for being the first person to request something, I hope you like it!

Bo Sinclair X Reader who is unhealthy obsessed with him

Gender neutral reader - they/them and you is used

Written on mobile so sorry if the format is weird

You had known the Sinclair’s practically your whole life. The brothers were your best friends. You did everything together, you’d sneak off to each others homes to play, eat lunch together and skip classes in grade school. But there was one Sinclair you were closer to.

Bo. Ever since the first time you met Bo you had a special bond with him. You would always want to hang out with him. Lester wants to play tag? Can Bo come along? Vincent wants to show you how to draw? Well how about Bo join in too!

Bo didn’t think much of your… Clinginess. You were his best friend, so it made sense why you wanted to be around him so much. In fact, he actually quite liked how clingy you were to him. It was no secret after all that his parents were good to him, which is why the two of you usually hung out at your house or outside somewhere. So the fact that someone wanted his attention, wanted to talk to him and listen to him, he adored it.

But you didn’t just “want” Bo. You craved him. You always felt a special way towards Bo. When you were little you didn’t know what those feelings were. It wasn’t until you were a teen you realized you were in love with him. So you began showing Bo your love. You’d bake him his favorite sweets and cook him meals, you’d help him with cars, you’d bandage up his wrists when he had been picking at them and making them raw and irritated. And when his mama got sick you were there to listen to him vent about all the things he was feeling and what was running through his mind. Despite the fact you hated his parents for what they did to him and his brothers, you’d never talk bad about Trudy. You knew Bo had a complicated relationship with her and somewhere deep down in him he still loved her, even though she didn’t feel the slightest bit the same for him. Her world was Vincent. Bo and Lester were just extras she had to “put up with”.

And then Bo killed his father.

Bo would always tell you that his dad committed suicide. That the death of his wife drove him mad. But you knew the truth. You saw it after all.

You were going over to bring Bo a box of old car parts you had stolen found for him, when walking past the window to Victors office, you saw Bo holding up his shotgun and pointing it at the man. You saw him pull the trigger, and Victors blood and brain splatter on the window. The sight made you smile, you were proud of Bo for standing up to that sick son of a bitch and putting an end to everything once and for all. But you couldn’t tell Bo that, so instead you turned back to your home and pretended like you saw nothing. The box of car parts helped cheer Bo up after his fathers “suicide”.

A few years later and the two of you were adults now, and you had finally won Bo over. He was officially yours now and yours only. You moved into Ambrose relatively soon. The town had always been small, but you had began noticing it was getting smaller. And then one day you saw a group of people roll into town, claiming something was wrong with their car. Bo being the kind man he is offered to help them, and told them to go to the house of wax to keep themselves entertained while they waited.

“Darlin can you help me for a sec?” His sweet voiced called out to you.

“Of course, Bo! Whatcha need?” You skipped over to him with a smile.

“Well it looks like they have a broken fan belt, problem is that I don’t have the right size here. Could you go into town with Lester and get one for me?”

You nodded with a smile. And he smiled back down at you. “Thank you, darlin, I appreciate it.” Bo wrote down what he needed on a piece of scrap paper and sent you on your way. You were happy to help Bo, and you got to hang out with Lester! That was a bonus!

When you got back to town with the part you noticed those peoples car was gone, and so was Bo. So you knocked on the basement door to ask Vinny if he had seen them. He shook his head and you thanked him with a smile, turning to walk away but stopping midway. “By the way, those are some neat sculptures you got down there. Trying to keep up with your ma’s art?” You asked with a sweet smile. Vincent nodded. “Ah, I see. Well you did a great job as always! It almost looks real.”

And that was when you found out the brothers had been killing off the town one by one and anyone who crossed in it. You found the pit soon after that, or well, you smelled it. But best of all, Bo thought you were completely in the dark.

He’d wake up, give his partner a kiss before waving goodbye to them as he went out to get some more muses for his twin. Meanwhile his partner was subtly helping him out. They’d make sure their partners clothes was clean of any specks of blood, clean the garage extra carefully, and of course give him the biggest sweetest smiles. You had watched Bo do his special little hobby, in fact watching him became a part of your routine. And he suspected nothing.

“Welcome back, honey!” You shouted over your shoulder as you put dinner in the oven. Tonight was your turn to cook. Bo mumbled a hello back to you and slumped on the couch. You frowned, tossing the over mitt onto the counter, and making your way behind him. “Something happen?” You asked with concern.

Bo sighed, rubbing his temples and leaning his head back. “Jus’ been a long day,” He answered. “I’m so exhausted.”

Without needing another word you wrapped your hands around his shoulders and began massaging them, doing your best to work out some knots. Bo melted into your touch with a sigh. “You always now exactly how I like to relax.” You hummed with a giggle. “I know a lot about you, Beauregard. A lot more than you think.”

“Is that right?” He spoke. “Alright smarty, what else do you know about me?”

You hummed in thought. “Well, I know despite all the blue you wear your favorite color is actually green.”

Bo snorted. “You know my favorite color? Big deal, that’s too easy.”

“I’m not finished,” you spoke, moving your hands to lightly massage his scalp and temples. “You don’t like any green. You like a darker green, like a fir tree. You also hate neon colors because they hurt your eyes.”

Bo simply hummed in response. He was slightly impressed, he’ll admit.

“But I also know things about you that even you yourself doesn’t know.” You said, getting Bo’s attention and making him perk up. You swung around the couch and lightly kissed him on the nose. “Like you ain’t as sneaky as you think.”

Bo chuckled and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you into his lap and covering your neck in kisses. “What’s that supposed to mean? You know where I hid your birthday present or somethin?”

You giggled and shrugged. “Maybe,” Your moment was interrupted by the over timer. You got up and took the dinner out and looked back at Bo. “I think ill take some of this to Ms. Locket , if you don’t mind.”

Bo’s face twisted to a sad pout, a very fake one. Oh how he’s never been good at faking emotions, other than a charming southern man. “Didn’t y’a hear? She passed away this mornin.”

You frowned, slowly setting the food onto the counter and looking down. “Oh…” you mumbled. “She was so sweet…”

“Oh darlin, come here.” Bo held his arms out and took you in, holding you close. You buried your head into his shoulder and could smell gun powder. “I know it’s sad, but you’ll get through it. I know you will.”

You hummed and smiled, gripping your hands around Bo tightly. Around your Bo. Yours and yours alone. He might not know just how enamored you are by him, but that’s okay. Because you know, and that’s all that matters.