#I feel like I keep getting Kai's voice wrong and its bothering me SO BAD
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
ikosburneraccount · 1 year ago
Text
I remember why I stopped working on this fanfic omfg
3 notes · View notes
000marie198 · 8 months ago
Text
All of these! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Learn Grammer and keep a consistency with tenses, seriously. It's not just there as a technicality or formality, it is a crucial part of making a passage actually understandable.
And please please, DO NOT use the characters' dialogues and internal monologues to rant your personal opinions about something, not only does it turn the readers away, it also makes the character ooc and it diverts from the story. It's quite honestly mind grating.
I also remember coming across a quiz once years ago and it was so intricate and lengthy and detailed with tons and tons of length classic vocab describing a beauty and the gist of it was that the character entered a garden and it had pretty pillars with classy engravings. Whole essays just to describe that. I got so annoyed I skimmed through every question afterwards. Make sure to keep your text engaging without getting over flowery.
Oh! And this one that I don't find much mention but I kept finding in one of my favorite stories and it kept bothering me, don't make named references to something obscure!
References and call backs are fun. But make sure it makes sense and are popular enough to be widely known. Very widely known. Not everyone has watched the same anime or Netflix series you have, not everyone has read the book you have or know the plot twist from that episode of season 7. Not everyone knows the name of the characters. Also, not everyone knows USA's political history so please, put yourself in the shoes of those who don't know and think if it will get the joke across. You make a reference to classical fairytale or known folklore or Godzilla or Snowwhite etc, I'll get it, you make a callback to trader Johann from rtte? I will get it but literally everyone else won't. Luke, I am your father. That's something everyone will get. But everyone will not get a dialogue from random media. Keep your references for jokes or other parallels and relatability understandable.
Oh! And adding to the character distinction part. This is also very important. I have seen some fic writers do this where they use a set single narration and voice style for every character. It is very good for 3rd person non character point of views or a single character point of views. But it is very very bad for dialogues and internal monologues of different characters. Now a genius character would have technical vast vocabulary but a cheerful, average child won't. Children don't think like scholars. Similarly, characters which don't care about intricate wording won't think or say phrases which have that. Also, make sure to keep it diverse. A character from Asia would think up idioms and phrasal verbs which pertain to Asian culture and folklore, not English. And vice versa. Character originating in Japan would refer to the giant lizards monster as Gojira while one from anywhere else would say Godzilla.
Adding to what I wrote above, please please please when it comes to characters praying or cursing or whatever, don't name drop the name of whatever religious figure or diety you believe in if the fictional world your characters belong to or the franchise they are part have its own different ones. An example of this here: Sonic universe has Chaos, Gaia, Solaris etc. So it just feels wrong hearing the characters say "Jesus!". Neither does it feel right in Httyd fics when they got Thor and Odin etc.
And OPs last point is the most important. Give some love to your story, 'kay. If you drop in the summary and the tags and author notes of how horrible it is etcetra, long words of self discouragement, I'd be turned away a bit from the story before I even start. Don't treat it as something you're just throwing away. It's your story, it matters like any other.
Basic Tips to Improve Your Writing
I used to read a lot of unprofessional writing online, and through that endeavor, I started mentally compiling different qualities that turned me off to people's work right away. I'm sharing some of my thoughts about ways to improve your writing so others don't click off your work right away!
-Change paragraphs when different characters are speaking.
-In that same thread, remember to make new paragraphs and not have one giant block of text. This isn't only discouraging for some readers, but actually physically impossible to read for those who are visually impaired.
-Learn grammar. Sorry, but there is no way around this one. For example, commas aren't just for aesthetic appeal or your personal choice, and it will turn some readers away if your writing is littered with grammatical errors. You can't break the rules for creative purposes if you don't even know them, and the difference is generally apparent.
-Remember the narration style you've chosen. For example, if you're writing in third person limited, you can't think outside the mind of your main character. Don't jump suddenly to the thoughts of other characters or an all-knowing, omniscient voice.
-Slow down. Each word matters, so try not to think of writing as "I must get from Point A to Point B," but "I must get from Point A to Point B beautifully."
-Avoid repeating the same word or phrase too much, especially within the same paragraph. There are exceptions in dialogue, of course. (It's sweet when writers acquire their own personalized phrasings that mark their voice, but I have turned away from works where the exact same line just kept coming up again and again).
-Don't forget about setting. You might be able to imagine where your characters are, but no one else can if you don't let them know.
-Use a consistent verb tense.
-Your characters are not you and generally shouldn't always be mouthpieces for you to share your own values and thoughts.
-Your characters should sound distinctly different from each other, including their talking styles.
-Don't bog the reader down with too much description, and make sure the description you do have is realistic. Think about it. In the morning, do you wake up, go to the mirror, and think to yourself, "I looked at my shaggy dark hair and emerald green eyes"? Nobody thinks that way about their own appearance, and it feels like a forced way to let the reader know what the main character looks like.
-There's no need to start tossing out every character trait if it's not relevant to the story.
-Last, show some passion and excitement for your own work. Make sure the language embodies that passion because if you don't even care about your writing, who will?
2K notes · View notes
kitawarheit · 4 years ago
Text
Choke
Hey guys! I decided to post it here too~ Anything this is some Frank x Danny x female reader insert hella self indulgent smut~ Ngl, had someone ask me, "how far do you take your dirty talk?" aaaand here's the example I guess?? lmao Either way it was fun as hell! Enjoy! <3 Can also be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31056830
Tags include: dub-con (ish), verbal humiliation, dirty talk, name-calling, spitroasting, f/m/m threesome
The Fog had been a living hell, for sure. You dare say you were getting used to this “Entity” and its foul games. The pain didn't seem to feel as bad as when you first got here—or maybe that was just your mind knowing you wouldn't truly die? Your cruel resurrection was inevitable in this hellscape. But, you found solace in the small things. To start, you had the other survivors. The companionship was at least enough to keep you sane (for the most part) until you found a way out. But was there?
Trial after trial, your morale drained slowly—that is, until your curiosity was piqued. Some of these vicious killers were... well, human. For the most part, maybe. Take The Legion for example: although they switched off, they were all still four human punk-asses. Sure, being cat called while chased by Frank or having insults hurled at you while Julie choked you to death wasn't the most ideal thing... But it was a breath of fresh air. There were others, yes, but the most talkative or entertaining ones were primarily Frank and Danny—The Ghostface, as they called him.
Speaking of those two—back to the predicament at hand. How the fuck are two killers allowed to be in a trial at the same time!? It wasn't fair! Not only for obvious reasons but more personal ones... Sometimes, you wanted to punch Frank in his stupid face for his chastising, filthy mouth. But, that was only really because of how hot and bothered it actually made you. You knew back before this shit, you were really into dirty talk and stuff, but here? Now? Surely, The Entity knew and was doing this on purpose.
No, you were absolutely sure The Entity was doing this on purpose when you saw the second killer was Danny. He had a nasty mouth on him too—a bit more aggressive than Frank overall, but it still didn't help you not be affected by his “teasing”. But why? Sure, you enjoyed their talk, even if your brain tried to yell at you that they were there to murder you, not sweet talk you to bed. But did The Entity even give “graces” like this? No, no—it must be for the killers. After all, they were the ones that essentially gave power to this thing.
No matter why or for who, it didn't matter. You weren't going to look this gift horse in the mouth. You deserved a slice of pleasure too, right?
So, here you were, being dragged into the old ski resort lodge, two sets of hands moving over every inch of your body, making you squirm between them.
“Hey, hey,” Frank cooed in a smug tone as you were turned to face him. “Settle down, kitten, we haven't even started yet!”
“She can't help it,” Danny mocked behind you, grabbing your ass, which made you give a squeal of surprise. “She's gonna get double fucked! Any slut would be excited by that.”
“You're right,” Frank practically purred, sliding his hands under your shirt and making his way up to your chest. “I'm surprised she's not already trying to tear out of her clothes.”
“Fuck you,” you hissed weakly, trying to squirm from their grasps—but, the both of them proved to be too strong and they kept you firm in place. “Let me go...!”
“Oh, don't worry, kitten,” Frank said, lifting his mask to sit on the top of his head as he eyed you over. “You'll fuck me soon enough~”
You were too busy examining the details of a face you hadn't seen without the mask to notice Frank giving a nod at Danny. There was a chuckle behind you and, suddenly, Danny had his hands over your torso, ripping open your shirt and pulling the ruined garment off, letting it fall to the floor. Another squeal escaped you as you tried to cover your arms over your chest, face flushed. Of course, Danny wouldn't let you do that as he gripped your wrists and held you in place.
“Fuck, she's got some nice tits,” the man behind you mused.
“Hell yeah, she does,” Frank agreed, brandishing his knife. “Let's get a better look, though...”
Before you could make a protest, Frank's knife slipped under the front of your bra, harshly tugging upwards to tear it in half. Quick on the move, Danny let go of your wrists to let your arms hang low so that he could swiftly tug your destroyed bra off and down to the ground.
“D-Don't touch me,” you shrieked, only to have them do just the opposite. Danny's hand cupped one of your breasts, while Frank toyed with the other, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. You were trying so hard not to make noise, but the look on your face must have given you away.
“What a slut,” Frank laughed, making you jolt as he pinched your nipple. “Hmm? You like having killers play around with your tits?”
“Look at her face,” Danny cooed. “She totally does! Nasty bitch~”
Your mind was failing to think of words to says, insults to hurl, threats to make. But, it didn't matter, they were too strong for you and you had nothing to fend them off with. And if the heat pooling in your core had any say in the matter, you were likely going to break anyways. Sooner, rather than later, if they kept this up.
You tried to at least keep quiet—if you couldn't make threats, the least you could do was not make any moans. Your focus was brought back to the situation as Frank cupped your chin, forcing your head up to look at him. For the moment, he had let go of your breast and Danny took full advantage of that by cupping both in his hands, squeezing them.
“Fuck,” Danny grunted behind you. “I've gotta get my dick between these sometime...”
Frank seemed to be searching for something in your face as he looked you over, yet abandoned that endeavor rather quickly. He let go of your chin and scoffed, grabbing hold of your hips now.
“I bet you anything she's already fucking soaked,” Frank mocked, emphasizing his last word as he popped the button of your jeans. “Let's just check that... 'Kay, kitten?”
Frank slipped his palm over your stomach, making his way down as you squirmed in Danny's grasp. He slipped past your pants and toyed with the waistband of your panties briefly before finally slipping his hand down over your folds. There was no warning when Frank brought his head closer, dipping under your chin to bite harshly into your neck, at the same time he pushed two fingers into your pussy. You were already losing yourself, but there was no way you could hold back the moan that ripped past your throat at Frank's actions. You could practically feel his smirk against your neck...
“Ho~ly fuck,” Frank cooed as he released your neck, pulling his head back to look at you while he pulled his fingers out from your jeans, just to hold them in front of your face. Of course, Frank was right —you were already wet by now. “This bitch is a total whore! Look at how wet she is already!”
“Damn,” Danny laughed, pinching both of your nipples in an attempt to draw noise from you. “I guess we got lucky with this one, huh?”
You whimpered softly as Danny pinched again, squirming as you watched Frank make a show of licking his fingers clean. Your mind teetered on the edge between wrong and right, just a touch away from going over and begging for them. In some pathetic last attempt to escape, you tried to pull away again. Frank clicked his teeth and gripped your hips again to hold you in place, Danny giving a light grind into your ass. Fuck, you could already feel how hard he was.
“Please,” you spoke softly, trying not to look Frank in the eye. To this, he roughly grabbed your chin and forced you to look him in the eye, a smirk tugging his lips upwards.
“Please what, kitten,” he sneered, bringing his face even closer to yours. ...That was it. That was the tipping point and your brain tumbled down the wrong side. But, you didn't give a hot damn. You needed this... and you needed it now.
“Don't tease me,” you breathed out, flashing Frank a look—oh, did he know that look well. The look of letting go and giving in to carnal desire. It was show time.
“That's what we wanna hear,” Danny chuckled, his voice more clear now and you could only assume he took his mask off as well. “A slut in the end—can't resist having some cock in you, right? Even if it's from a killer?”
Frank gave a vicious grin from ear to ear, letting go of your chin to dip his head down against your neck.
“Good girl,” he purred, giving another firm bite before working on pushing your pants and panties down. This time, when he bit into you, you let out a soft whimper, wiggling your pants and panties down the rest of the way to help, then stepped out of them.
Behind you, Danny removed his gloves, letting his bare hands slide down your chest, savoring the warmth of your skin as he kept moving further down. Sure, he knew Frank was right—but he couldn't help to feel for himself as his fingers dipped between your damp folds, his fingertips gliding up and down some. Your breath had already started to become labored from his small actions alone, surely stroking his ego more than it was. You wanted to savor the moment, but Frank seemed a bit impatient.
“Lemme have her,” Frank spoke, a bit of a grumble behind his tone. “I got an idea~”
Frank seemed to enjoy simply tugging you along and keeping you out of the loop. Throwing you over his shoulder like he would to carry you to a hook, that instinctual fear almost began to rise. As Frank started to climb the stairs with you, Danny followed behind, looking just as impatient as the other man.
“Don't worry, baby girl,” Danny cooed, patting your cheek some. “You're not going on a hook. We got something better in mind for you!”
On the second floor, there were a few empty rooms with faded memories of what this place once was, long ago. In one of the rooms, there was a large mattress and pillows, cigarette butts littering the ground with the smell of smoke still rather fresh. This was probably Frank's sort of make shift bedroom, if you had to guess... You almost wanted to ask (why, you weren't sure), but the wind was briefly knocked from you as Frank threw your body on the mattress with ease.
“You're gonna love this, kitten,” Frank hummed as you coughed a bit. “All just for you! I know a little whore like you can probably take more... But we'll start here, okay?”
You weren't sure what he meant and you weren't given any time to dwell on it before he rolled you onto your stomach, just as Danny came around to sit on the mattress, close enough to your face that you could practically feel the warmth radiating from his body. Grabbing your hips, Frank lifted your bottom half up to meet his crotch as he let his erection rub against your ass through his jeans. With a chuckle, he shoved his hips forward, forcing your face into Danny's crotch, making you both groan.
“I know you're excited, kitten,” Frank sneered, giving a harsh slap across your ass. “So get to work! I'm sure my friend here would love to see how talented that slut mouth of yours is~”
Propping your torso up just a bit, you looked up at Danny as he began to unfasten his pants, pushing them down a few inches just to make it easier to take his aching erection out. You couldn't help but stare for a moment, impressed by his girth. Damn, were all the killers like this...? Taking your distraction as hesitation, Danny ran his fingers through your hair, gripping tightly as he tugged your head forward a bit.
“I'm not gonna wait all day, bitch,” Danny sneered, purposefully rubbing himself against your lips. You whined a bit at the tight grip he had on your hair before obeying—placing one hand on his thigh to steady yourself as the other gripped the base of his cock. You gave one long, broad lick along the underside of his cock, dragging your tongue up until you flicked it off of the tip. Frank rubbed the side of your ass he slapped earlier, as if silently giving praise at the little show.
“Ohh,” Danny groaned, flashing a smirk down at you. “I can already tell she's used that mouth well before. Think she's tried to use it to bargain for the hatch?”
“Probably,” Frank said with a laugh, giving your ass another slap, causing you to gasp out. “At least, I wouldn't put it past her.”
You could feel yourself throbbing, started to become impatient yourself. But you weren't going to beg—oh no, not yet. To keep yourself quiet, you took a few inches of Danny into your mouth, sucking lightly as if to savor him. Danny groaned and muttered small praises to you, so focused on him that you were deaf to the sound of Frank's zipper being pulled down behind you. When you felt his rubbing the tip of his cock against your slit, you gasped, but were unable to stop the soft moan you gave.
“Oh, you're gonna feel so good around my cock,” Frank cooed, rubbing a bit more incessantly. You started sucking harder around Danny's length, trying not to give in to the feeling of Frank rubbing against you. Trying was the key word, but your body acted first, trying to rub back against him for more friction. He gave a click of his tongue and used his free hand to keep your hips still.
“You want it, kitten,” Frank asked with a mocking tone. “You gotta beg for it~”
Danny yanked your head up and off his cock, making you wince as you glanced up at him. Seeing the smirk on Danny's face made your heart jump and you were all too sure that Frank had the same look on his face. Flushed, you chewed your bottom lip a bit, as if a bit embarrassed to say it out loud. Frank gave you an encouraging, yet hard, slap across your ass, making you squeal out and tremble a bit.
“P-Please,” you squeaked out, whining as you tried to press back against Frank. “Fuck me, Frank...! Please...!”
“You want my cock in you,” Frank chuckled, giving another smack to your ass. “Say it, bitch!”
“Y-Yes,” you moaned out. “I want your cock in me, Frank! Please!”
“What a total cock slut,” Danny laughed as he brought your face close to his cock again, making sure you had him in your mouth before releasing his hold on your hair. You felt Frank lining himself up, pushing just the tip in before gripping your hips with both hands. Without warning, he suddenly gave a single, sharp jerk of his hips, thrusting himself inside you to the hilt, causing you to lurch forward and deep throat Danny. You almost gagged on him from the sudden force, but Danny only groaned, cursing under his breath.
“Fuck,” Frank groaned, keeping still a moment. “She's tight, too... Damn, she feels good!”
Frank pulled you back some, letting you off of Danny's cock to catch your breath, watching you cough a bit from the surprise forced deep throat. Once you were mostly settled, Danny gripped your hair again to guide you back to his throbbing length, rubbing the back of your head encouragingly. Frank pulled out most of the way before speaking up again.
“That was your warning,” Frank taunted, rubbing his thumbs over your hips. “So you better get ready—'cause I'm not stopping until I've filled you up, got it?”
“Do anything you want to me, Frank,” you whined out, glancing over your shoulder at him as your mind clouded with lust. “Please use me...~”
“Damn,” Danny scoffed, turning your face to him again with an amused grin. “She's a compliant little cock sucker.”
“Ohhh,” Frank cooed, fingers digging into your hips. “You just sealed the deal there, babygirl~”
Listening to Frank, you knew this was your one second to attempt to brace yourself. Taking Danny back into your mouth, you pressed your tongue against the underside of his cock, but let your jaw hang slack. If Frank's “warning” was anything to go by, you wouldn't need to be doing much head movement, anticipating his thrusts would be enough to do that for you.
And that it was. Frank showed no mercy, no easing you into it—no, he immediately started with a rough, somewhat quick pace as each thrust would push you back down onto Danny. You had let yourself go well before this point, so there was no trying to suppress your moans, loud and needy as they were. The small vibrations from your moans sent a shiver up Danny's back as he gripped your hair tight again, seeming to be holding back the urge to straight up fuck your mouth.
“Shit,” Danny hissed, leaning his head back some as he savored the feeling of your mouth. “It's gonna feel so good to cum down your throat!”
The anticipation and promise of his words excited you, more so than you thought as your inner walls clenched down around Frank, drawing a low moan from him.
“Easy, kitten,” he groaned, the bruising grip on your hips never letting up. “I know you're a fucking cumslut—nghh—but no need to rush it~”
Frank's pace started to deepen as he was back to burying himself all the way in with each forward snap of his hips. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes as everything started to become overwhelming—the way Danny almost hit the back of your throat every time you were shoved forward, the lewd sounds of skin slapping skin from the force of Frank's hips, the pleasurable throb that came each time Frank's cock rammed against your cervix. You were a mewling, moaning (and if you could move, you'd probably also be writhing) mess between the two men.
You could already feel that familiar heat starting to coil down in you as you practically drooled onto Danny's cock, doing your best to rock your hips back against Frank. His grip was stead-fast, but he seemed to let up just a tad to enjoy you trying to fuck yourself back onto him. It earned you a groan from the man behind you, your wet walls throbbing around him in a pleasurable thrum. You were close, you knew it—but it seemed Frank knew this too.
“What a whore,” Frank groaned as he stilled his hips, swatting Danny's hand away so he could grip your hair instead, wrenching your head off of the other man so you could speak properly. Danny made a groan of protest, but allowed it as he was just as eager to hear your cries. “You wanna cum, bitch?”
“Yes, please,” you whined out, frustrated from being so close to your blissful high.
“Yes, what,” Frank sneered.
“I want to cum...! Please, let me cum!”
“And you wanna take our loads like the good little cumdump you are, right?”
“Yes! Fuck, yes, I-I want to be filled by you both...!”
“Atta girl~”
Frank promptly shoved you back down on Danny as he went back to his brutal pace, close to his own release. As you were shoved down and fucked hard, you finally snapped, your orgasm tearing through your body like a tidal wave. You moaned loud around Danny's length and your pussy clamped down and convulsed around Frank, both being the final push they needed to fill you. Frank bit his lip as he moaned behind you, burying himself all the way before cumming hard inside your willing cunt. Danny gave a few thrusts into your mouth, hand back in your hair, and held your head in place while he released in your mouth, groaning low.
“Swallow you fuckin' cumslut,” Danny growled, keeping a firm grip on the back of your head. You didn't need to be told twice as you swallowed a few times, making sure to take down every last drop. Satisfied, Danny pulled you off of him and released your hair from his grasp. Behind you, you could feel Frank pulling out, taking a moment to admire the view as his cum dripped from you, a few drops hitting the mattress below.
“Damn,” Frank hummed, giving one side of your ass an appreciative rub. “Now that is a good fuck!”
“Fuckin' right,” Danny concurred with a laugh before lifting your chin to meet his eyes. “Give us a sec and we'll get you ready for round two, babygirl. Don't think we're done with you yet~”
379 notes · View notes
adezahnae · 4 years ago
Text
My Roomie (Part 2)
Tumblr media
A/N: Helloo!! Here is Part 2 of My Roomie!! I forgot to post this yesterday!! I wanna hit myself😭 Okay Let’s see what happens here!!
Warnings: Smut, Slight masturbation, riding, wet dream, dirty talk, strong sexual tension, y/n is a little perv, Kai’s a damn tease
Tagged People: @ahgasearmyfan @whoreforshuaaa
Tumblr media
Your POV
It was around 8pm now and my room was fully set up. I took a step back and admired my work. “Perfect...” I said. I then let out a yawn. I went inside my closet and pulled out my pajamas. I grabbed all the things I needed for the shower and walked out. Just when I was about to open the bathroom door, it swung open to reveal him....he had on nothing but a towel. I widened my eyes and screamed. Before I could run away, he grabbed me back by arm.
I freaked out more, kicking and screaming. He carried me to the couch and sat me on it. “What is wrong with you?” He asked. “I-I-I...” I stuttered. How am I able to form such a sentence when your...junk is out practically!? He rolled his eyes. “What? Can you not talk?” He asked. I shook my head. “Why?” He asked. I pointed at his body, without looking at him. “So what it’s just a body. I’m sure you’ve seen other guy’s bodies in your past.” “No!” I yelped. He quirked an eyebrow. “Never?” He asked. I shook my head. He let out a small chuckle and leaned closer to me. “You like this don’t you?” He asked.
I widened my eyes and looked away. He moved away and stood up. “I’m going to my room. Don’t bother me because I’m having company over okay?” He said walking to his room. He shut his door and I finally breathed out. I patted my cheeks to see that they were hot and warm. I ran to the bathroom and started my shower. To be honest, he did have a nice body. It was so...attractive. He didn’t look so bad neither! He was a very handsome guy, with a favored baby face but that’s what makes him attractive I guess. I also lied about not seeing other guy’s bodies. I’ve seen them in magazines and in porn but never in person! Wow..that’s how it looks? I gasped and shook the nasty thoughts from my head.
I scrubbed my body and finished my shower. I stepped out and slipped on my pajamas. I walked out and heard noises coming from his room. I titled my head to the side and walked up to the door. I was about to knock on his door until I heard a girl. “Kai...oh Kai..” I hear her say. “Kai?” I whispered to myself. I then hear him groan and the bed was creaking. I then realized what he was doing, he’s in there having sex!! I covered my mouth and widened my eyes. “Right there baby..just like that..” He said. I felt an urge in my lower area.
I gasped quietly and put my hand over my heat. Is this what I’m gonna deal with for the rest of my days here?!? Hearing him and girls on campus messing around?! “Baby, slow down! W-What if your roommate hear us?!” The girl panicked. I heard a loud smack echo in the room, making me jump. “Shut up and take it.” He growled. The noises they made got louder. “Kai!! Kai!! Yess! Yess! It feels so good!!!” She yelled. He groaned out and another smacked echoed. I gasped out and yelped, feeling my heat clench and drip around nothing once more. I ran to my room and slammed the door behind me.
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh...” I panicked. It’s only the first day! I laid on my bed and screamed in my pillows. Why did I have to hear that?! Why did I have to..imagine that?!! I let out a sigh and rolled over onto my back. I could still hear his groaning from my room. I felt my heat clench around nothing again, making stifle my groans myself. “I can’t deal with this...” I whispered. I slipped off my slippers and my pajama pants and panties and opened my legs. I made small circles on my clit. I let a breathy moan and moved my fingers faster. “Kai..” I whispered subconsciously not knowing.
I gasped and covered my mouth. Did I just moan his name?! I removed my hand from my center and rolled over in my bed. “Stop thinking about him...just stop...” I mumbled to myself. I cut on my TV and watched something to keep my mind off of him. A sudden sex scene came up in the movie. I got that urge again. I took one of my pillows and got on top of it. I moved my hips back and forth against the fabric of my pillow, letting out a small groan. As I was watching the scene, I wonder...can Kai make me feel like this? Maybe even better? I unbuttoned my shirt and let my boobs free.
I put my hands over them and let out moans and soft curses. I whispered his name over and over again. “Kai...K-Kai...” I moved my hips faster as I imagine him under me, giving praises like he did the girl in his bedroom. “Good job baby, you’re doing great..” I could hear him say. His hands came across my hips and bounced me faster. I let out a whine. “Kai!!! Yesss! I feel so good!!” I said. “You feel good? Tell me how good you feel..” He whispered. “Its so good..I’ve never felt it before! This is so so good!!” I replied through whines and whimpers. He chuckled and smacked my butt, causing me to jerk forward. “Are you gonna cum baby? Huh? You’re gonna cum for me like a little slut?” He said. I nodded and threw my head back. “Go ahead and make yourself a mess on me..” He growled. I threw my head back and whine out very loud. “KAIIII!!!”
Tumblr media
I jumped up in my bed in cold sweat. My breathing was uneven and my throat was dry. I looked around to see it was daylight. 10:30am my clock said. I sighed and leaned back and covered my face. I jumped back up and looked over at my pillows. They were still in place, like they’ve never been touched, it wasn’t real..I swallowed hard and wiped my forehead. I got out of bed and ran out my door. I looked around to see or make sure I wasn’t dreaming anymore.
As I was I heard Kai’s voice. “Good Morning.” He simply said. I turned around and seen him in the kitchen drinking coffee while his on his phone. “G-Good Morning..” I replied in a small voice. I walked to the kitchen and took some coffee too. “Sleep well?” He asked me. I remembered flashes of my dream. “Kai!!” I remember me whining. “Y-Yeah, I slept well..Did you sleep well?” I asked. “Mhm.” He replied. “I’m sure you did. I mean I know you did but it’s just..yeah..” I said trying to cover up the fact that I heard him having sex with another girl. “Don’t lie.” He said now looking at me.
“Lie about what?” I asked. “You were listening to me, weren’t you?” He asked. I felt my heart leap in my throat. “I- I- I don’t know what you’re talking about! I don’t even know your name!” I lied. “From the way you called me last night, it seems like you do.” He said. Did he hear me moaning too?! So was that real?!?! “I...Um..I have to go and g-get ready for grocery shopping.” I said trying to walk away. He pulled me by my arm again and placed me against the wall. “Why were being such a dirty little girl huh? Why are listening to me and dreaming about me?” He asked. His words led straight to my center, making me clench my legs together and whimpered.
He looked down and noticed. “You like this don’t you?” He asked lowly. “H-How did you know a-all of that?” I asked. “Your yelps, gasps and moans are way too loud for anyone to hear.” He said. “Did she hear me?” I asked. “No. Only I did.” He said. I put my head down. “I’m sorry...I don’t know what that was about but I will never do it again, I promise.” I apologized. “You promise?” He asked. I nodded my head. He pulled away from me. I walked to my bedroom hurriedly until I heard him say something again. “And it’s Jongin.” He said. I turned around. “Huh?” I asked. “Jongin is my name.” He said. I nodded and ran back to my room. I shut my door and locked it. I went to my pillows and screamed into them again. “WHY MEEE!?!?”
Tumblr media
Jongin’s POV
I heard Y/n go into her room locked her door, screaming into her pillows. I let out a little laugh and walked back to my room. “She’s such a cute little thing..” I said to myself. Y/n to me is just a girl who’s so unexperienced with guys. Who put their 21 year old-daughter into college without her experience to men? I’m only a bit cold to her at the moment because I want to see how well she can go when it comes to my..harsh side. It seems to my opinion that she likes it. When Lia left last night, I heard her in her room crying out my name. I go in to see her tossing and turning in her sleep, touching herself. I brought a smirk to my face knowing that she’s thinking of me.
I want her bad..I don’t know why but the first time I seen her eyes on mine, I knew she was too innocent. Wayy to innocent. One part of me feels bad for her knowing that she has no experience with a guy and don’t know how to take it when someone is hitting on her. The other part wants me to corrupt her...so badly...I want to be the one who takes that innocence away...call me what you want, but I have to have her..Just slowly but surely. I only fucked Lia because I was thinking of Y/n. She’s too cute and beautiful to not think about. “I got to have her...” I said to myself.
65 notes · View notes
dershloop · 3 years ago
Text
Title: Burning Pile
Words: 2410
Ship: Lava
Warnings: depressive episode, mentions of worthlessness. i wrote this based off od how my own depressive episodes tend to happen/come about so this might not be accurate to everyone so dont start yelling at me if its not "how depression is for you" anyone who says that will be blocked. its more of a comfort fic to get me through the last week of school.
Cole yawned, throwing his bag on the floor and rolling his shoulders, feeling them pop satisfyingly. Finally, he was home. Rubbing his eyes; cracking his neck and feeling his limbs come alive once more. He hated long car rides, they cramped his limps and make him travel sick. That’s the problem being tall and large; the back of cars wasn’t made to accommodate you. Jay kept telling him to learn to drive himself, but he didn’t have the time. Being a ninja was surprisingly hard work, with little time in between to learn to drive. He’d just have to make do.
“Oh Cole, hey dude, forgot you were coming back today,” Jay said, walking into the room, leaning against the counter, a strange look contorting his face, “How’s your dad?”
“Not too bad. Still pretty insistent on me being a good singer. Apparently, I just have to ‘dig deep. Something tells me he’s never going to back off with it,” Cole said with a laugh, Jay laughed, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes, “Are you ok man? You seem… I dunno. Off,” Jay’s face fell, his mouth scrunching nervously.
“You’re gonna be so pissed I didn’t tell you but… Kai’s not ok, he-”
“Wait what? What happened, where is he?’ Cole said frantically, his face falling in panic.
“I don’t- I don’t know dude! He’s barely been leaving his room, I don’t think he’s showered all week and I’ve barely seen him eat anything. We’ve tried to give him stuff and made him drink some water but-” Jay didn’t get a chance to finish, Cole pushed past him, dashing to his boyfriend’s room. From what he could gather, this had started a week ago. When he’d left. He hadn’t had a depressive episode in months now; had him leaving been the catalyst for all this? He was sure he’d been careful, he’d texted him every day. Even if they hadn’t called, he hadn’t asked. Besides, his dad didn’t know about them yet, he didn’t want to accidentally come out because of a phone call. Either way, if Kai had been in a bad way he hadn’t seemed like it. Apart from not asking to call, he’d seemed relatively normal. No slow replies. No giving texts. Nothing.
Cole softly knocked on Kai’s bedroom door, though it seemed pointless. No matter the response, he was going in there.
“What?” A hoarse voice called from inside the room. Kai’s hoarse voice. Cole opened the door, staring in awe at the state of the room. It was… messy to say the least. Clothes were scattered across the floor, making it so you couldn't even see the carpet. Mugs and glasses and bowls and plates littered around, just extra obstacles to the already high-staked trek to Kai’s bed.
“I’ve told you guys, leave me alone!” Kai yelled pushing himself up from his flat position on the bed, twisting his head around and staring at Cole, slightly gone out. His face fell when he realised who it was, staring at him solemnly from his position in the doorway.
“You’re back,” He murmured, twisting himself around fully so he was looking at Cole. Properly this time.
“Yeah,” Cole said softly, stepping carefully around the rubble and decay scattered all over the floor, sitting down on Kai’s bed when he finally got to it, “What… What happened?”
Kai shrugged, not looking at Cole. His hair was slicked back, matted to his skull with grease. Pimples beginning to form on his face, the lack of skincare irritating his delicate skin. Cole would be lying if he said he didn’t look gross and smell just as bad, but that didn’t put him off. Obviously, something was wrong, what kind of a boyfriend would he be if he didn’t do anything.
“I just… started feeling empty. I don’t care about anything and I have no motivation to do anything but… I didn’t want to be a burden, and I knew that if you suspected anything you’d come back so I just played it cool. Half expected one of them to tell you but… I guess they didn’t want you cutting your trip short for me either,” He muttered sadly, still not making eye contact. He couldn't. Not in this state. He was disgusting. His breath stunk like he’d just eaten something that’d been dead for a while and he probably stunk like something that’d been dead for a while too. Despite barely leaving his bed, his face was gaunt, his cheekbones beginning to further protrude, this time to an unhealthy degree and his eye sagging, purple eyebags hanging down as if weighing down his entire soul.
“Oh firefly,” Cole mumbled, opening his arms and wrapping them around Kai’s shoulders and pulling him close, feeling as Kai slowly relaxed into his body, not moving his arms.
“I’m sorry,” Kai said softly into Cole’s chest.
“For what?”
“Not telling you. Lying to you.”
“I don’t care. You have nothing to be sorry for, you weren’t in the right headspace and still aren’t. But I’m home now, so I’ll help you get out of this. Have you been taking your meds?” Cole said, still speaking in hushed tones. He wasn’t 100% sure why, but it seemed to be comforting to him, so he continued doing it.
Kai shook his head slowly, knowing he was about to get lectured.
“Ok, that’d explain a lot. Let’s start with that then,” Cole said simply, standing up and looking down at Kai.
“What?” He said, confused as Cole looked down at him expectantly.
“Come on. I’m taking you to take your medication,” Cole stated, holding out his hand, “If I bring ‘em to you, you’ll not feel any better.” Kai sighed and took his hand, letting his boyfriend’s strong form pull him out of bed. He slumped over slightly, his legs barely able to keep him standing. Letting his arm hang limply, his hand barely holding Coles, they walked out of his room and to the kitchen. He wasn’t 100% sure he was even in the room with him, his mind fuzzing in and out of focus from his surroundings. One moment, he was in the kitchen with his boyfriend. Next, he was in his head, letting his thoughts run wild. The latter was less than ideal; especially without the prescribed dosage of antidepressants in his system; but he didn’t have the energy to care.
“Ok,” Cole said, putting 2 small pills down in front of Kai along with a cup of water, “Take them.” Kai nodded, letting go of Cole’s hand and picked up the tablets, sloppily placing them in his mouth and swallowing them with the cool water. It felt heavenly, rolling down his dry throat and even drier tongue, giving them a new lease of life.
“Better?” Cole said softly, taking Kai’s hand back in his own. Kai shrugged, leaning against Cole and closing his eyes.
“Don’t bother going back to sleep on my arm, there’s more,” Cole continued, firmly but lovingly. Kai knew it was for his own good but… he just wanted to get back in bed. There was an immovable weight on his chest, dragging him down and increasing the effort to keep himself upright. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could actually stay stood up.
“Ok, have you had something to eat today?” Cole asked, taking Kai’s other hand and looking at him softly. Kai nodded, looking back, but not quite meeting Cole’s eyes. His heart twisted with every beat in his chest; his stomach turning in knots. He knew he couldn’t give in and let him go back to bed- he’d never feel better while he’s in this state- but the look in his eyes. It was so… void. So tired. So… emotionless. Yet full of emotion. Twisting and turning. Hurt, anger, sadness and an utter lack of anything positive.
“Ok. In that case, only 2 more things. We’re gonna brush your teeth and shower,” Cole said, Kai’s face falling in desperation. Evidently, he didn’t want to do either of those things; but Cole knew full well that he wouldn’t do it of his own volition.
“Please, firefly. We can watch a movie or something after that. I just… want you to feel better. I’m doing this for your own good. Plus, I’ll help you. I won’t get in the shower with you, but if you need help with anything I’ll stay in the bathroom while you’re in there. Just… how about this. Just wash your hair. Then I can put some deodorant on you and wipe your face. Are you ok with that?” Kai nodded in response, eliciting a small smile from Cole.
“Good. I’m so insanely proud of you Kai, for working with me here. I know how hard it can be when you get like this so I know how much it’s taking for you to do this right now. So, I’m insanely proud of you for actually going along with me,” Cole said sincerely, raising his free hand and resting it on Kai’s cheek. Kai leant into his hand and smiled a small, but tired, smile, raising his own hand and resting it on top of Cole’s.
Walking towards the bathroom, Kai took a reluctant breath and stepped inside, Cole following soon after. Cole turned the water on, pulling the mildly disgusting shirt off of Kai and tossing it into the laundry basket, letting him take off his boxers. Slowly stepping into the shower, Kai winced as the hot water hit his skin, cascading down his body and washing any surface-level grime away. His arms were lead; his eyelids hanging heavily over his eyes. He couldn’t do this.
“Cole,” He said weakly, not moving from under the warm water, “I want to get out.”
“Come on Kai, don’t give up now,” Cole replied softly, moving towards the shower and opening the curtain, seeing the exhausted look in his eyes, “I’ll wash your hair. How about that?” Kai nodded slowly. Cole smiled, pulling his own shirt over his head and discarding it to the side, reaching around his boyfriend and grabbing the shampoo, making sure Kai’s hair was wet enough before applying any. He slowly massaged it into his skull, looking down from his hair to Kai every so often to give him a comforting smile. Kai sighed contently, feeling the first bout of comfort; and even the first sliver of joy; in days. The feeling of Cole’s fingers on his head… knowing he was here and he was ok and alive. He was alive. Cole was here. The steady scratching and rubs keeping him grounded.
Quickly washing the shampoo out of Kai’s hair and turning off the water, Cole smiled, taking Kai’s hand again and leading him out and towards the sink. Cole grabbed his robe from the back of the door, bundling Kai up in it to assure he stayed warm. Cole laughed a little, looking down at Kai’s short, thin figure wrapped in his large robe, like a baby in a teenagers coat.
“What?”
“You just look really cute. You know like when a little kid just gets out of the shower. Their hair’s all slicked back and their bathrobe is about 10 sizes too big?” Kai blushed and crinkled his brow indignantly.
“I do not look like a child, not all of us were blessed to be 6 foot you know,” He huffed, pulling the robe around himself tighter.
“Yes, you do! You’re my cute little baby boy!” Cole said enthusiastically, noticing the smallest of sparkes light up in Kai’s eyes again as he glared indignantly at his boyfriend. With a laugh, Cole grabbed Kai’s toothbrush, putting some toothpaste on it and splattering it with water.
“Open up baby boy!” Cole said with a grin. Kai rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, allowing him to quickly brush his teeth. Grabbing a face wipe from the cupboard, he gently scrubbed the grease off of his boyfriend’s face. Then, finally, he grabbed a can of deodorant and sprayed him all over, banishing any thought of odour away from their minds (and bodies). Cole grabbed his shirt from the spot on the floor where it had landed earlier and pulled it back over his head.
“Hair drying time now,” Cole said, grabbing a clean towel from the cupboard and laying it over Kai’s wet hair, gently beginning to rub it, dragging the worst of the moisture out. Kai sighed in contentment, feeling himself shake and move as Cole dried his hair, the rough towel feeling heavenly as it dragged along his scalp, massaging any worries or unnecessary emotions away. Now all he felt was a deep feeling of peace and quiet.
“Damn, I’ll rub your head more often, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy,” Cole said with a laugh, continuing to softly rub his head with the towel, unable to contain his laughter at the small noises of contentment coming from Kai. Eventually, he took the towel back off his head and smiled down at his boyfriend, ruffling his hair affectionately.
“Now we just need to get you some clothes, then it’s dumb movie time,” Kai smiled, his lips softly curving into a smile; a real one.
“Can I wear your clothes?” he said softly, his voice still hoarse from barely speaking this last week.
“Of course firefly, it’d be rude of me not to!” Cole said lightly, taking his hand and leading him to his room, immediately grabbing his largest hoodie and sweatpants. He helped Kai put them on and stared down at him in awe.
“You. Are. So. Damn. Small!” Cole said happily, looking at his boyfriend’s small frame being taken over by his large clothing.
“No, you’re just too big,” Kai said indignantly, stuffing his hands in the pockets of the hoodie.
“You know I mean it lovingly, you just look too cute in my clothes,” Cole gleamed, his face lighting up in pure delight. Kai said nothing, just let out a small giggle, his face glowing crimson.
“Now come! My sweet little baby boy! We shall watch dumb movies made for people 10 years younger than us until you feel better!” Cole exclaimed, sweeping Kai off his feet and holding him bridal style, carrying him towards his own room where he dumped him on the bed, turning on the TV and preparing for at least a day of watching weird movies and enjoying each others company.
47 notes · View notes
descendantofthesparrow · 4 years ago
Text
Commission work - Harry Hook x Darling! Reader - two parter - unpredictably adorable - part 2
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
commissioner @thebookbakery​
=
Since you were a child, your mind was constantly overthinking, every single possibility, good or bad, bombarding your mind about everything and nothing at the same time.
-what if I never live up to my mom's expectations-
-if I don’t pass this test everyone will hate me-
-they aren’t really my friend; they just feel sorry for me-
-I need to shut up I’m talking to much-
-they are ignoring me; they must hate me-
-everyone is faking-
-if I’m not careful I'll cut my finger and then I'll have to get surgery to remove my hand because I was too careless-
Yeah…it got tiring after a while.
Everything made sense when you were 10 and were finally diagnosed with anxiety, everything got a little bit easier to deal with after that, one of your tactics was just pretending your best friend Piper was talking you down
-I forgot to turn off the oven, and I’m going to burn my mom's house down, and I’m going to go to jail and-
‘no, you didn’t, you always check every single time, twice, you turned it off, now shut up before I smack you, I’m trying to eat this churro.’
It always loomed in the back of your mind, though hanging out with your closest friends did deafen the noise a bit, but it was always there.
You had little toys to help you focus but you were always looked at oddly when you had a little cube with millions of buttons on it so once again, your anxiety won out and you picked at your fingers, bit your lip, rubbed the fabric of your clothes between your fingers, and sometimes dug your nail into your thumb to distract yourself from your own brain.
Crushes, were one of your ultimate weakness, even the thought of someone you had a crush on sent you into a spiral, your brain would tell you they didn’t even know you existed, that they hated you and faking being nice, that your crush would never go anywhere.
Now you only had two crushes your whole life.
One from when you were little, Piper, but that didn’t last long (After you saw her eat a caterpillar bleh) and EX-prince Ben himself, that one had lasted a whole two years, and while you had been his friend before your crush grew, that didn’t stop your brain from shoving those random piercing thoughts into you.
And now, there was another one.
Harry, freaking, Hook. Son of Captain Hook himself, the villain of your mother's story.
And he was the sweetest thing you had ever encountered, you gushed to jane about his little nose scrunched when he grinned, how his tongue poked out of his lips slightly when he concentrated, when he fluffed up his already floofy hair when he was frustrated.
It was just all too much for your anxious little self,  it took all your might to keep yourself from bolting away from the handsome pirate.
You sighed, splashing cold water against your face and blindly grabbing for your towel and patting your face dry. You felt your face heat up as you thought back to the day before, in study hall, when Harry ever so gently placed his thumb on your chin to stop you from chewing on your lip.
You let out a long sigh/squeak as you grabbed your bathroom counter and sunk down into a squat, puffing your cheeks as you tried to calm yourself down. “I’m so doomed” you muttered to yourself, this crush on Harry was worse than the one on Piper OR Ben.
With the two aforementioned crushes, you never imagined it going any farther than dating, so imagine your internal embarrassment when one day you realized you were daydreaming about being buried into Harry's side as you slept in on a weekend in your very own place, living together with three dogs and two cats, and four birds, with two guest rooms specifically for Uma and Gil.
It was nice to dream about but once the dark shadow that was your anxiety reared its ugly head and whispered horrid thoughts about Harry’s “true” feelings about you, it was harder to enjoy your daydreams.
-he’s just using me to get revenge~-
-he’s just like his father, a filthy, cheating pirate-
-he’s faking everything-
-he flirts with everyone; I am nothing special-
You knew it was all bullcrap, even your own mother had met harry (at her request) and happily told you that he was nothing like his dad, and one of the sweetest boys she had ever met, even piper and Peter themselves, liked harry.
But like always, your brain never liked to listen to others and always took a darker train of thought.
You shook your head out of thought and stood, walking back into your room and grabbing your bag, slinging it over your shoulder and grabbing your keys, slipping out of your dorm room and locking it behind you, checking twice to ease your mind.
“hey (y/n)” you flinched as you spun around, letting out a sharp sigh as you realized Uma was the one to call out to you, she rose her brow, a small smirk on her face “sorry, thought you heard me walk up to you”
“you-you’re fine” you smiled back, huffing as the girl tossed her arm over your shoulder and started walking with you to the cafeteria.
“hear the rumor that Mrs.Popin is pop quizzing us in algebra today?”
“she is?” you asked, calm as could be on the outside, but once again your mind started running
-what if it's something we haven’t covered yet? Or what if I wasn’t paying attention to the subject?! What if I accidentally check the wrong one! What if-
Uma tugged you into the seat next to her, picking up a clementine and peeling it open, offering you a slice, shrugging as you declined “suit yourself, yeah, I’m wondering how Harrys gonna do, with his problem with numbers after all”
“oh right, his dyscalculia” you muttered, mind now running wild worrying for harry. “I think he’ll be fine, Mrs.Popin is lenient with him, and she lets all of us take the tests over and over again until we get a passing grade”
“yeah” Uma hummed, chewing on another slice “waffles or pancakes today?”
“I heard It’ was French toast~” Harry purred, plopping down next to you and leaning into your space once again, setting your face on fire and cutting off your voice as usual. “you okay (y/n)?” you whipped around to look at Harry with wide eyes, that….that was the first time he had ever called you by your name, it was always your last name.
“I-yes?” you shrugged, looking down at the table and picking at it “I’m fine”
Harry just hummed and leaned away from you, starting a conversation with Uma about the upcoming math quiz.
Your mind whirled as you processed the fact that he called you by your first name. but thankfully it never went anywhere as the bell for breakfast being served rang throughout the room. Uma tapped your arm, hurrying you to the line to grab the hot and ready food before it was gone.
You grabbed your preferred bread and usual toppings, sighing happily as you noticed your favorite drink was in stock this morning. You grabbed the bottle and tossed in on your tray, following after Uma as she went down the sides line, grabbing a handful of bacon for herself.
After dodging the oncoming breakfast crowd, you, Harry, Gil, and Uma finally settled back at your table. Evie, Jane, and Dizzy joining you moments later “morning~” Jane sang, poking your cheek with a ‘boop’ and starting to eat her breakfast. “oh (y/n), the planning committee is needed in the gym later today, about prom n stuff”
“kay” you muttered, quickly going through your slices of French toast and gulping down your drink “still don’t know how I got roped into the planning committee in the first place” you laughed to yourself, you hardly spoke during the meetings, you were more the errand girl and the one who wrote down what needed to happen as everyone else actually planned.
Jane giggled and patted your shoulder, turning her attention back to the conversation of the table, to which you weren’t bothering to pay attention to.
You dug into your bag and pulled out your notebook, going over your previous notes for math to prepare for the quiz later that day.
Sometimes Jane and Harry would bump into you randomly, Harry's fingers brushing your arm when he would reach for something across the table, you did your best to keep the heat from your face.
At some point harry gently probed your shoulder, making you squeak from surprise, unexpecting of the touch as you looked to harry with wide eyes. He gave a soft smile and nodded towards the doors “bell rung for class darlin’, don’t want yeh ta be late” you quickly stood, yelping as your knee bashed against the table.
“ooow” you bent over slightly, palming your knee as you felt the pain bloom across it. “shit”
“wow” Harry chuckled, grabbing your bags and slinging them over his shoulder “never heard yeh swear before darlin’, come on, ill escort yeh” he placed his hand on the small of your back, and lead you toward your first class.
While you appreciated Harry's chivalry, your mind….was not helping.
-everyone is staring at me-
-they are going to think it's odd he has his hand on me-
-everyone is staring at us-
-everyone is going to think it’s weird that Harry is around me-
-EVERYONE IS STAR-
“here we are” Harry thankfully interrupted your train of thought as he handed you back your bag and gestured to your English class “I’ll see yeh later darlin’” he winked at you and strut away, leaving you with your usual burning face and fidgeting fingers.
You sighed, walking into class and hurrying to your seat, ignoring the imaginative eyes on you as you took out your notebook.
-
The sound of your pen quickly tapping on your clipboard was the only thing that kept you from screaming at everyone.
It was just…too…loud…so many voices at once, all speaking at different volumes and all needing different things, many of them speaking at you, all too much for you to handle.
You gave one look at jane and she nodded, taking your clipboard and walking into the crowd of planners, distracting them as you exited the gym, heading for your room to calm down.
You rubbed your chest and focused on controlled breathing. Everything felt so tight, like something was sitting on your chest as you walked through the halls, fingers gripping your skirt to ground yourself.
You stumbled a bit as a barrage of screaming hit you, you tuned a bit, seeing two of your classmates that you never bothered to learn the names of screaming at each other in the hallway.
Your ears began to ring as you stared at them, unable to continue onto your room. one of the boys looked away from his friend, glaring right at you. “OI WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN AT!” he screamed, hands balling into fists as he seemed to look into your soul.
You let out a breathless squeak, bolting down the hall, sliding as you took a quick corner and continued to run where ever.
Your original destination was lost, mind yelling at you to hide.
-THEY ARE FOLLOWING ME-
-HIDE-
-THEY ARE GOING TO HURT ME-
-HIDE-
-IM GOING TO DIE-
-HIDE-
You gasped for breath, letting a scream as you slammed into a wall that wasn’t there a moment ago, you slid down to your side, curling up into a ball and letting out choked sobs as the world went dark around you.
You could feel yourself passing out but you couldn’t get a grip on yourself.
You were having a panic attack but you couldn’t do a thing to make it go away, whenever they happened one of your friends was always there to ground you, always helping you come back down to earth.
You couldn’t breathe, air only leaving you as you gasped. Through the ringing in your ears, you heard a voice, but you couldn’t recognize it as whoever it was grabbed onto your shoulders and tried to lift you up.
You felt yourself screech and lash out, your fist hitting something almost solid, whoever it was didn’t flinch and trailed their hands down your arms, grabbing gently onto your hands.
“hey-hey” they whispered, breaking through the chaos of your mind “hey, it's okay, you’re okay. nothings here. you’re safe. no one’s going ta hurt yeh”
You forced your eyes open, and through your blurry visions you saw Harry staring back at you with a soft smile “hey darlin’ can yeh breathe with meh?” you tried to speak but a sob ripped through your throat, you moved forward, crashing into Harry's chest and wrapping your arms around his torso. “hey hey, breathe, in-“ you felt his chest rise, and you swallowed down another sob and took a wobbly breath.
Harry continued to calm you down, soon your breath synchronizing with his “yer doin’ amazing darlin’ now, give me five things yeh can see”
You pulled back slightly from his chest, sniffing as you glanced around “um- locker, window,” a light sob choked you, but Harry just rubbed your back and continued to take deep breathes for you to follow. You glanced down slightly, seeing Harry’s red leather jacket against your shoulder “your jacket, my-my bag, and-and-the school symbol”
“good” Harry cooed, hand running up your back and fingers slipping through your hair, fingers scratching at your scalp comfortably “now name four things yeh can touch”
You looked around again, slowly feeling your body relax, and letting your headrest completely against Harry's chest “wa-water fountain, door handle, vending machine, um-jacket” Harry chuckled at the last one, but nodded.
“amazing love, name three things yeh can hear” you closed your eyes, your lip twitching as you felt your head bump up for a moment.
“your heart” you whispered, not hearing Harrys breath hitch “birds, static”
“a-awesome” Harry sighed, shifting to sit against the wall and pulling you up further into his arms “now, two things yeh can smell”
“metal and leather” you whispered, feeling the grips of the panic attack leaving your body, mentally thanking the gods that Harry had found you.
“good, now, one thing yeh can taste”
You pushed away from Harry’s chest, opening your eyes again and looking around “um-oh! Cookies!” you chirped, leaning up a little as you spotted a bag of Oreos inside the vending machine across the hall.
“amazing job lass, are yeh okay now?” you took a deep breath and looked back at Harry, giving him a tired smile.
“better but” you could still feel the tightness in your chest and your limbs felt like lead “thank you….could you help me to my room? I’m really tired and I need to take a break from everything for a bit”
“of course,” Harry nodded, helping to your feet and grabbing your bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you into his side, letting you take your pace as he helped you to your room.
He glared at anyone you passed by, tightening his grip on your waist and even snapping his teeth at Chad as he sneered at you and Harry together. You were too tired to pay attention to anything though, sighing in relief as your room appeared around the corner. Harry dug your key from your bag and quickly unlocked your room, holding onto your hand tightly as you walked into your room and towards your bed.
He released your hand as your knees hit the edge of your bed and you flopped onto the sheets, blowing out a harsh breath as he ruffled his hair.
“so yeh all good?” he asked again, tilting his head at you, you lifted your head and gave a small nod.
“I will be, thank you, Harry”
He gave a grin and walked over to you, kneeling beside your bed “I've got yer back darlin’ get some rest, and I’ll get yer homework from our classes kay?”
“okay” you whispered, flopping your head back on your bed, feeling your face heat up again as Harry leaned over and pressed a kiss to your head “um-Harry?”
“well talk about it when yer right of head love, see yeh later” he stood and walked out of the room, locking your door and tossing the key on your dresser. He smiled at you and closed the door, his heavy footsteps quickly walking away from your room.
You pressed your fingers gently to the place Harry's lips were moments ago, feeling the heat in your face reaching your ears and stretching down your neck.
‘was-he-a kiss?’ you thought, sitting up and staring at the door. ‘he-wow’
You stared at the door for a moment longer before you kicked off your shoes and just crawled under your covers, smiling as you thought back to his kind words and soft lips.
You closed your eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, forcing down the thoughts that said Harry was only being friendly, you could bear to let yourself dream for a bit.
-
Harry sighed, flipping through the multiple sheets of homework he held in his hands, pursing his lips as he thought back to (y/n), something had set her off to have such an intense panic attack. He was just glad he knew how to calm someone down from it after helping the smee twins through them after so many years.
He looked to his right as Jane passed by him, he reached out grabbing her shoulder, she jumped slightly, looking at him with wide eyes.
“uh, hey Harry? What's up?”
“I came across (y/n) havin’ a panic attack like-two hours ago? Any idea-woah!” Jane’s eyes widened and she grabbed onto his shirt.
“what?! Is she okay? Did-“ Harry quickly covered the girl's mouth.
“she’s fine Jane, she’s in ‘er room now restin’ I just wanted to know if this is a recurring thing or that was the first time it happened”
“recurring” Jane sighed, wrenching Harry's hand from her mouth “she has an anxiety disorder, that’s why she's always so quiet, doesn’t like to draw attention to herself and all that”
Harry furrowed his brows, fixing his bag on his shoulder “ah, is that why she’s all blushy ‘round me then? All those thoughts goin’ wild n stuff?”
“nah” Jane waved her hand nonchalantly “She's just crushing on you….oop didn’t mean to say that!” Jane looked back at him with wide eyes.
A small smile grew on Harry's face “she-she has a crush on meh?”
“I-uh-fudge, yes” Jane sighed, slapping her palm against her forehead “dangit she told me about it in confidence and I just blurt it out like tha-wait!” Harry patted Jane's shoulder with a chuckle and pushed her aside a bit.
“Thanks, Jane~ I gotta go!” Harry took off towards leaving a confused Jane in the hall.
“wait what are you going to do!” Jane yelled, huffing as no response came back “…OH!” Jane squealed, hopping in place. Harry liked (y/n) back! Ohhhh this was going to be so cute!
She had to tell the VK girls, Evie and Dizzy would die!
-
You sighed, smoothing down the front of your oversized hoodie and further curling into a ball on your bed, sporadically clicking the attack button on your gaming device as you fought one of the hardest mini-bosses of the game.
“come one-, die you-gah!” you seethed, cursing as your weapon broke “again?! goddammit!”
“I have’ta say, it’s weird to hear yeh curse darlin’” you screeched, halfway tossing your switch across the room, the device bouncing off your bed and landing on the pile of pillows on the floor.
You looked towards your door, pressing a hand to your chest as you let out a long sigh “Harry! Geez I’m still calming down from earlier, don’t barge in like that!”
Harry winced, closing the door behind him “sorry love, I brought yer homework and some food fer yeh” he held up his bag and a white plastic bag holding a box of food.
“oh” you felt your face heat up as he stepped closer to your bed “thank you”
“no problem darlin’” he purred, setting the bag of food next to you and tossing his bag on your desk. “so~” he started, leaning closer to you with a sly smirk on his face “I heard something really~ interesting on meh way here~”
You rose your brow and flipped open the box of food, humming at the still steaming (preferred lunch).
“little Janey said yer crushin on meh~” your entire body stopped, it felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on you “and before yeh freak out with all those thoughts yeh get” he leaned up, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek “it's not one-sided darlin’ “
You felt your brain short circuit, unable to think ANYTHING as you stared at harry. He chuckled softly and gave you a toothy smirk, his eyes crinkling as he looked at you like he never had before. “Cat got yer tongue love?.I’ll let yeh process it all, but just know, I do like yeh back, and I would jump off a cliff sooner than hurt yeh….” He kissed your cheek again and stood, stopping as you suddenly reached out and grabbed his arm.
“um-I-, I just wanted to say it myself” you muttered, tugging him back down to your side “I-I-I” you stuttered, feeling your face heat up as harry smiled at you with that adorable crinkled nose “ilikeyou” you gasped, grabbing his collar and pulling him towards you, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and quickly falling back on your bed, pulling your pillow over your face and screeching into it.
Harry just chuckled and patted your knee “like yeh too darlin’ I’ll see yeh later love, okay?”
You just let out some sort of garbled response into your pillow. “okay, text me if yeh want me ta bring yeh dinner” he quickly took his back, emptied your homework from it, and left the room, locking the door behind him.
You let out a huff as you chucked your pillow at the wall, feeling a grin blooming on your face. You squealed, patting your cheeks to try to make the heat escape from it.
“he likes me back” you breathed, giggled erupting from your chest “he likes me back!!!!!” fits of laughter overtook you as you wiggled happily in your bed “he likes me!!!!”
Harry bit his lip to hide his grin as he listened to your mini-celebration “She's so adorable” he chuckled, fixing his bag and walking off, whistling a little tune as he did so.
-end-
permtaglist
@queer-cosette​ @sephiralorange​
@lunanight2012​ @daughter-of-the-stars11​
@musicarose​ @random-thoughts-003​
@remembered-license​ @imtryingthisout​
@verboetoperee​
151 notes · View notes
theravencawsatmidnight · 3 years ago
Text
Rabbit. Chapter Two Part Two
Draco x Hufflepuff reader
Tags; @khemz1312 @trashyvicks @dracoslittlesunflower @dracmalf0y-dm @rosiehufflepuff @goofygobber @shinsouscatpisssmell
W!Heavy Ptsd, mental freak outs. Hearing voices, blood, bruises, cuts. Draco trying to convince himself he’s fine. Refusing to ask for help. Mental instability. The voices are the Dementors
After two years in Azkaban for how he treated you he was finally free. The only thing keeping him going was you. Now finally reunited with his Rabbit he thinks things will go easier for him. But Draco is struggling mentally and refusing to ask for help, but his only hope might be the person he despises the most
Draco did not return to the bedroom, he ran his hands under the cold water staring at them watching the blood run down his wrists down to the drain of the sink trying to think of a way around this… what could he do ? he needed help… The man shook his head at just the thought of him asking for help. “Rubbish.” he slapped the water off drying his hands on his briefs and going to check on you to see you asleep.
Its dark there huh?
Like the cell
“Shut up…” the tired shaky man shook his head going back to the living room, his vision was dizzy and he had to drag himself along the wall so he would not stumble and fall.
Why do you even bother?
Coming here?
“B-b-because..”Draco fell into the back of the couch seeing Biscuit asleep on his pillow and quickly went around the furniture to scoop up the rabbit holding him close to his chest. He let out a heavy sigh of relief once he felt Biscuits cold nose against his chest sniffing around. “I ,.. Wanna be with her…” he laid down on the couch with the curious bunny on his chest. He shook his head several times trying to get the voices to subside..
But does she want to be with .. you?
“She does.. “
Draco did not last long in the dark; he had gotten up and turned every light on except for the bedroom . one thing Draco did learn in Azkaban was that the Dementors hated the light. So every night he would sit under the window in his cell hoping the moon would be full and bright enough to shine in on him… But even with all the lights on he still saw darkness when he shut his eyes…
He was back on the couch with Biscuit on his chest again trying to think of something else, anything else. He wanted to share the bed with you so bad.. He longed for that moment with you. To have you snuggle against him .. tracing your finger on his chest.. Telling him stories .. cuddling up to him when you get cold.. Did you have any cute sleeping habits he wondered.. And did you prefer the middle or the edge of the bed.. Did you like to sleep in …?
“Rabbit……”
What if you get worse?
You already broke a glass, remember?
“Shut u-u-p…” he was starting to sweat, a long bead of it sliding down his head. We miss you Draco
Dont you miss us?
“N-no..” his hands found his hair digging into his locks. “I .. “
We love you for who you are Draco.
“You bastards made me this way..!” he sat up and Biscuit hopped off his lap scaring Draco, he jumped shielding his face till he realized it was just the bunny. “Im…” he wrapped his arms around himself feeling very sticky and uncomfortable all over, his skin felt like it was crawling and his bruises ached again with each heave of breath he took from his chest. “Im fine…”
You are fine , Draco.
Perfectly fine
Your fine
Your fine
Your fine…
Your ..fine
You-r fi-ne…
“SHUT UP!!!” Draco threw himself on the floor hitting his head hard on the wood making the voices subside, he stayed there for a minute, crying.
**
In the morning you had woken up to an empty bed and every light on in your home. Quickly you jumped out of bed rushing to the living room to see it empty. “dr..Draco..”
“Yes Rabbit?” you heard behind you.
You whipped around seeing Draco with a towel around his neck and sweats on him. You clung to him sighing with relief. “Nothing.. Goodmorning.”
Draco squeezed you tight, wrapping an arm around your back and head giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead. Draco had passed out from exhaustion last night around 3 AM and woke up not too long ago drenched in a cold sweat with Biscuit wiggling his nose on his cheek . he had no idea when you would wake up so he had to hurry and cover his tracks.
“Good Morning Rabbit.” Draco squeezed you again and you slipped free taking his hand.
“I'm thinking.. We go get some clothes today?”
“S-sure.”
“And i think the twins opened their shop up again, maybe we could .. go check it out? Everyone deserves a good laugh sometimes..”
he was nervous.. It would be crowded in the twins shop...
Why dont you just run away
Come back to us
You cant handle things on your own anymore
You cant handle this-
He shook his head bringing your hand to his lips so he could kiss it. “Sounds good, Rabbit.”
The shopping went.. Okay.. there's only so many choices in Diagon Alley after all. Simple dress clothes and a couple loose shirts was all he needed. All though you insisted he get some more clothes he could relax in .
“Draco dont you want more loose fitting things?”
“D-dosint ma-matter Rabbit” he was having a hard time talking to other people. Everyone he ran into asked him about Azkaban and you had to step in and change the subject before Draco blew up at them. You noticed he did not walk the same way he did in Hogwarts; back then he had his head in the clouds, his ego on his sleeve, his attitude front and center and that damn smug smile he wore on that damn grumpy face.
Now he looked over his shoulder, shook his head, faked his smile and rubbed his hands alot to keep himself from scratching his arms. You noticed he only did it when the wind blew and were growing more and more concerned about him. Something was wrong, something awful must have happened in Azkaban… but the real question was would he ask you to listen to him explain… anyone… someone.. You loved Draco Malfoy, but you worried for his health too.
“Hmm.. im going to get you a few more . ill be right back “
“O-o kay, ill be .. at the twins shop”
You turned to grab his hand “you sure youll be okay alone?”
Will you?
We dont think so
You wont be alone Draco
….you will have us…
He shook his head and pulled you in for a hug and kissed your lips. “Im sure, Pet. no go get me something nice yeah?” he patted your head, getting a small smile out of you.
“Yes, Draco” you teased him hurrying off into the clothing store again. It warmed his heart a bit.. He loved the teasing .. he wanted more of it. He wanted hsi days to be full of it…
Its a shame…
...that this will not last..
..but….. Everyday you go on..
...brings you closer to us…
“Shut.. up..i shouldn't be able to hear you in that bloody twins shop … “ Draco stumbled turning around to make hsi way to the very eyesore of a shop.
*
Loud. it was loud. It was crowded and people were everywhere laughing, playing jokes on others, playing music, things were flying around, confetti and the likes. People shoving to get to the next big attraction and shoving all kinds of colourful candy in their mouths. Draco flinched every time someone touched him. Usually he would yell and shove back but .. all he could do now was cower and look over his shoulder . his head was quiet, for once. He could not hear the Dementors in here and the shop was well lit too making it easier to keep them at bay.
Draco maneuvered the shop looking for the twins , it should not be too hard. All the Weasleys have this unique look to them. Draco moved to the center of the store when someone bumped him trying to get by making him jump and stumble into the desk hitting his hip, someone else pushed by and he white knuckled the furniture starting to breath heavily.
Draco…..
Draco…….
Draco……….
“Dammit.. Shut up….” he pulled himself up looking over the people seeing the twins at the back of the store. Carefully he made his way to them and they both saw him and waved.
“There he is !” Fred said.
“All is right now yep” George added.
Draco was holding his side trying to stand up straight and look intimidating but the look on his face told the twins he was afraid.
“Bloody… twins.”
“Thats us!” they both said with pride.
“Wheres… Pottah…..”
They looked at each other and then Draco, getting a good look at him.
“You okay Mate?” Fred asked , helping him steady himself
“How is y/n by the way?” George asked.
“Shes f--f-f-ine, “ he shook Fred off gulping down a breath. “Where. Is. Pottah”
“Uhm.. top floor actually, hes getting some things for his kids.” Fred pointed.
“Thanks..” Draco shot them a look with a slight nod and made hsi way up the steps to the much more empty area. He spotted Harry looking over some joke spells in a book . Draco tried to be quiet but…
The boy who lived?
Draco stumbled into a desk making it squeak, Harry looked up from the book and quickly put it down to go to Dracos side. He was struggling to stand and breathe.
“Draco…? Are you alright?”
“Sshh--shut up…-”
Yes ,,, Draco …
Shut him out…
You dont need him
You only need us
...you only need… us
Harry helped the man anyway and Draco slumped into his side cursing himself. Harry helped Draco to an empty room and shut the door, carefully he sat the man down in a chair and sat down across from him not saying anything. Draco was a mess inside and out right now, he hated Pottah, hated everything about him , how dare he refuse to be his friend all those years ago? That duel… that damn… quidditch match… that damn….. Bird …
Leave..
Leave
Draco, leave
You dont need-
“P-p-pott-ah,.....”
Dont.
“I … n-ee-dd,....” he dug his fingers in his hair whimpering in front of this man .
Harry instantly knew something was wrong, he stayed as calm as he could.
Draco Malfoy of Slytherin... the smug, man who did not care for anyone else at all , only himself. Never asked for help from anyone, did things his way… picked on whoever he wanted...not a care in the world… was whimpering in front of the man he hated most. On the verge of a breakdown.
“I need…..”
DONT DRACO!!!
He looked in Harrys eyes with heavy tears falling down his face… staining the wood table. “I need help……………………..please………………”
20 notes · View notes
midsummerpetrichor · 4 years ago
Text
Unfair
So I love the Overhaul series of @after-witch and decide to write a fanfic of it I guess, which make it a fanfic of a fanfic. This took place some times after Baby Mine.
---
TW : Forced relashionship, insanity, murder, infanticide, English is not my first language, implied canibalism. If you are a minor go away
---
You know you shouldn’t feel that way.
Your daughter is playing with pastel colored crayons on the floor (because daddy is not here, it’s fine don’t worry sweety), drawing the perfect family that you are, “mommy, daddy, and me in the middle”
And you can’t help it really, but feel as if it's her fault, if she didn’t feel the need to go to her fucking father neither of us would be here anymore.
It’s irrational
It’s wrong
Probably he could have figured it out without her, and you would still be here anyway.
But still, still…
That awful, crawling feeling in the back of your mind won’t go away.
It’s her fault
And it was here for quite some time now, long enough for Kai to trust you again with the kitchen, for you to put again those how so well rehearsed smile on your face, and for the incident, as he likes to call it, to be a quite forgotten tantrum that you put.
You know that, whatever you say, Kai won’t listen, like your daughter who promises to keep it a secret and run to her father at the first occasion, and if he finds you difficult, he just puts you back in the room.
Now that you think about it, it’s really in the room that it takes its root in your mind, like a shadow darker than the obscurity you were in murmuring into your ears.
It’s her fault, she is ungrateful, and won’t ever listen to you, like her father.
That’s wrong.
She and Kai have the same eyes though…
Your daughter is innocent, nothing like her father, and look how beautiful her drawing is, don’t you look so happy ? She is coloring the floor now, you ask her to stop, you’ll have to clean after her, she doesn't listen.
You have to start preparing dinner. Kai will be home soon.
It is frustrating sometimes, how she won’t do as you told, how kai would calmly, condescendingly remind you that there is no reason to raise your voice when you dare complain how homeschooling can be difficult, she is like her father, and it’s not fair how she won’t go in the room if she misbehaves.
You can’t think that, she is a child, she is your child.
You’re probably chopping those vegetables a bit harder than necessary.
Most of the time, you manage to keep the dark feeling away, it’s here but not bothering you too much, you have to focus to keep smiling in front of Kai. And you love your daughter, you would sacrifice anything for her but haven’t you already, smiling and play house with her father, exhausting yourself to teaching her by yourself amount of class that she doesn’t care about, and look how an ungrateful brat she is, not listening to you, it’s her fault if you’re trapped here.
It’s not her fault, it’s Kai's fault, Kai that would be home soon and you have to clean the mess your daughter made and finish dinner before he arrives. He won’t be mad at her, he’ll remind you that it’s your job at her mom to educate her and keep the house clean.
There is pork in the fridge that waits to be cooked as Kai planned on the kitchen timetable, although you were never a big fan of that meat, it’s important for your daughter to eat it from time to time. Kai loves your daughter, he would never let anything nor anyone hurt her.
It would be a shame if anything happened to her.
How could you ever think that, truly you should be disgusted with yourself, you are not, you would never ever hurt her, she is your daughter, isn’t keeping her outside of the world hurting her though, she is everything you have, did you ever want to be a mother, you don’t remember if you wanted kids or if Kai told you you want them, and you told her already to take her pencils out and clean herself up, she didn’t, you love her, do you, it’s her fault if you here.
You cut yourself with the knife. You raise you’re voice a little when you ask her again to put her drawings away, and now she start crying and screaming fucking annoying. It’s your fault, Kai says, if she cries and screams. Is it ? Sometimes, you want to hurt him as much as he hurt you. If he comes home now, he will be so disappointed if you can’t even manage your daughter and dinner, and if you dare argue he’ll dismiss it as if your complaints were nothing but the annoying buzzing of a fly, if you dare cry he’ll put you to sleep with those white pills.
You want to cry so bad.
You don’t want the pills.
Your daughter never gets to take the pills if she cries. You can’t be jealous of your daughter can’t you ? You don’t know anymore.
Does a parent have to love their child ?
Yes, No.
Would it be easier if your daughter wasn’t here ?
No,Yes.
You are not happy, keeping the smile in place is exhausting, why are you playing house when you don’t want to, why do you love your daughter when it’s because of her you’re trapped here.
The pork is now waiting to be cut, Kai asked you to cook it on the stove, you really don’t like it like that but you don’t want to disobey. Really ? There is nothing else to cook.
Really ?
She keeps screaming and crying, really it’s ugly, almost grotesque.
That the face he would make if he cries, they look similar.
-If daddy was here he would let me do what I want!
If daddy was here, he would ask me why I can’t make you behave, I would have to support his scolding for your tantrum, you fucking ungrateful spoiled kid. You can’t yell at her because it’s bad parenting. Her face is red and swollen, full of tears and snots and you can’t help but imagine that it’s the face he would have if...
No.
Why not?
Don’t you want to hurt him ? If you can’t escape, don’t you want to drag him down with you ? And your daughter, does she really deserve everything you did for her ? Shouldn’t she repay you ? Helping you make her father miserable ?
It’s her fault if you’re here.
Maybe.
Her screams are starting to give you a headache, and the dark feeling in your mind, in your ears is growing and growing, it was probably you murmuring in your own ear from the beginning.
And crawling and crawling, you don’t really want to think anymore.
You open wide your arms,the how so rehearsed smile on your face with the how so sharp knife in your right hand.
-I’m so sorry for yelling sweety, come give a hug to mommy.
And so, she comes running to you, limbs so thin and fragile.
.
.
.
It’s only fair, you thought as you put the meat on the stove.
43 notes · View notes
inorganicone2230 · 4 years ago
Text
Time and Time Again (Part 1) 1930′s Yandere!Overhaul x Fem!Reader
Prologue TBC in Part 2
Summary:  An accident that should have killed you has instead left you stranded decades in the past with no apparent way to get home. You are saved and offered assistance by Kai Chisaki, a charming young man at the head of a powerful yakuza organization, who oddly enough believes your story. But Kai seems to have more on his mind concerning you than simply lending a helping hand, and as the days turn into weeks, you begin to wonder if he’s ever going to let you leave.  
Warnings: None for this chapter. Warnings and tags will be updated as the chapters progress.
Side Note: I do NOT and never will condone the actions committed in  this and future chapters, please be mindful and respectful of the fact  that all of this is purely fiction.
And as always, I want to give a BIG thank you to my amazing friend @talpup for all the brainstorming and encouragement on these stories!  I’m sure I would have given up on this blog a while ago if it wasn’t for  all of their help. I highly encourage anyone who takes the time to read  this to go over to their page or their AO3 account under the same name  and check out their works, especially Chaos and Erase The Shadow. They  are two of my favorite BNHA fics of ALL TIME!
Frigid and stiff.
Those were just a few of the words that came to you as your eyes began to flutter open, the slight facial movement causing the splitting pain in your head to become the forefront notice of your mind. The rest of your body was sore and stiff as well, but your head was where the pain was the worst. You were wet, your clothes drenched, the cloth water logged and heavy as you tried to push yourself up. It hurt to move, but at least it didn’t feel like anything was broken or dislocated, that was a plus in your book.
Gingerly turning your head to look around, it took your brain a few moments to process and catch up with the events of what happened before you woke up in this state. It all came rushing back to you at once, the walk, finding the old path that led to the cliff and then the sudden breaking of the ground under your feet as you screamed and fell over the ledge. You tried to recall if you remembered hitting the water, but the rest up until now was blank, meaning you must have passed out during the fall. Your vision was blurry and your brain felt like mush, but even those handicaps didn’t get in the way of you determining that this place was nowhere near the spot you originally fell from. From what you could recall of the spot where you were before, one side of the river had been right up against the cliff wall that you had fallen from, you still had no idea how you survived a fall like that, and the other was along a rocky shore and a forest. Now though, the waters of the river were much calmer and the stretch of water was flanked on either side by sand and thick forest, the current having likely carried you quite a ways down before you washed up on this little shore.
On pure instinct, you reached into your still zipped up pocket for your phone, along with its accompanying solar powered charger and were amazed to find that the expensive waterproof/shock absorbent case had done its job and protected the delicate tech device’s. It turned on just fine and there wasn’t a scratch on it, but it was telling you that you had no service, so you would still need to find some sort of civilization or an area near a cell tower before you could get help.
“This is bad.” You said to yourself as you finally stood up on shaky legs. The movement caused your already splitting head to pound even harder and when you pulled your hand away from your temple, you were unsurprised to find that what you’d been hoping was just water running down your face was actually blood. “And it just keeps getting better and better.” You groaned, internally chastising yourself for not having brought a little first aid pack just in case and vowing to do so from now on no matter what.
Looking around, it was impossible to tell where you were or how far down the river had carried you, but you figured that your best option would be to follow the flow of the water and hope that it would eventually lead you to some place you could get help from.
As you slowly began making your way along the bank of the river, it didn’t take you long to realize that the sun was beginning to set already and what very little warmth the day had to offer was quickly disappearing as the sun sunk lower and lower behind the mountains. Your clothes were still saturated with water and you were so cold that it physically hurt to move, it was impossible not to focus on it when every move you made brought the reminder to the forefront of your mind as the bitter cold material clung to your body and made you shiver to the point that your teeth were chattering uncontrollably. If you didn’t find help soon, it was likely you wouldn’t make it to see the morning. If the exhaustion didn’t make you keel over first, then the next option you’d have to take a guess at would be hypothermia setting in, but you needed to keep going, you had to find someone to help you or you were a goner.
So, despite how painfully cold you were, you did what you could to ignore it, along with the throbbing ache in your head and pushed on further into the darkening forest.
—————
Something was wrong...
It was pitch black out and it took about two hours of near painful and freezing walking, but you did eventually manage to find a road. There was a distinct lack of streetlights though and if it weren’t for the headlights of the occasional passing car, you may have missed it entirely, but that wasn’t what was bothering you, not entirely at least.
No, what you were finding odd were the types of cars that were passing you.
Oldsmobile was the word that came to mind when you managed to get a decent look at them. Every single one looked like they were brand new, like they were from the turn of the century or something straight out of a period piece style movie. Not that there were many cars out and about, but of the few that had passed by, not a single one seemed to be a newer model. It made you wonder if there had been some kind of event going on nearby, like a car show or something similar, but that didn’t explain why every car driving by looked like it was from a different era.
However, the model of the cars wasn’t your biggest concern right now, what was truly your greatest dilemma was that none of them were stopping to help you. You had tried to flag down every single one that passed and they all either just kept going or outright picked up speed. Your cell phone still wasn’t picking up a signal either and by this point, what little bit of adrenaline you had been running on before was now gone and you could feel the stress and fatigue finally starting to hit you. Walking was becoming increasingly difficult and with every meager step you took, you could feel your head pounding harder and harder. All you wanted to do was pass out and sleep for days, but doing that here would more than likely mean a death sentence.
Tears brought on by both fear and frustration began to roll down your cheeks as you took another painful step, your knees locking up and almost buckling under your weight. A broken sob escaped and that one sob led to more and more following in its path as you stumbled down the darkened roadside.
“Please… someone help…”
—————
“I want this leak taken care of by morning Hari, the last thing we need right now is the police sniffing around where they’re not wanted.”
“Understood Sir, I’ll inform Rappa that he’ll need to pay them a visit tonight.” The driver of the sleek black Packard replied, his gaze briefly shifting to his rear-view mirror to make eye contact with the handsome golden eyed male in the spacious back seat.
“No. Rappa’s too messy and we need this handled quietly and efficiently, but it still needs to send a message to anyone looking to capitalize on our name and turf that this kind of behavior won’t be overlooked.” The man’s gloved fingers tapped against his knee in thought for a moment before coming to a conclusion. “Send Nemoto instead. Tell him to make it look like a generic hit, like another organization was icing out their competition. Execution style should look standard enough.”
“I’ll handle it as soon as we get back.” Hari replied. “It’s late, but is there anything else you wish for me to handle before tom- what the hell?” Hari’s voice trailed off as he spotted something, or rather someone, walking along the roadside as he slowly drove by. It was too dark to make out the features while in a moving vehicle, but whoever it was, they were far too shapely to be a man as far as he could tell.
Kai heard the way Hari’s sentence had trailed off and he glanced in the same direction his lieutenant’s gaze was briefly focused as he continued to drive and watch the roadway. It took a moment for his eyes to spot what had caught his attention but when he did, he was rather surprised. 
Walking along the side of the road was a strangely dressed woman. It was hard to tell what she really looked like in the brief moment that the headlights had hit her, but she appeared to be in trouble. She had her arms wrapped around herself as she shivered from the cold mountain air and it looked as if she was soaking wet, not a good combination in these kinds of open elements. Normally Kai wouldn’t have cared about some nobody, but this was an isolated mountain road miles and miles away from any towns or people and she didn’t appear to be prepared to handle this kind of terrain or temperature. Her clothes, while strange looking and not normal for a woman, seemed to be ill equipped for being out here and her shivering posture only added to that conclusion.
As a young child, Kai had been abandoned and left for dead on the streets, surviving on nothing more than his wits and determination to stay alive. This was how his life had stayed for a good number of years, but that all changed one summer when he’d met the man that helped forge him into who he was today, the man that took him in and raised him up to be strong and confident, the man who gave him everything.
Pops.
Pops had found him on the streets and gave him life again, had fed and clothed him, hired all the best tutors to teach him how to read and write as well as an assortment of other curriculum's, had treated him as if he were his own son. And one of the most important lessons that Pops instilled in him was to always treat a woman with a certain amount of respect and dignity, to be a gentleman. Kai took everything Pops taught him very seriously, and that included this. So while Kai himself wasn’t some paragon of virtue or that good of a person by any stretch of the word, seeing a cold and lost young woman alone on an empty mountain road, he couldn’t help but flash back to all those lessons and feel the need to help her. Though his curiosity over her strange clothing and wanting to know what exactly she was doing out here definitely played a part in deciding his next decision.
“Hari, pull over.” Kai ordered, his tone firm and commanding.
Hari did as he was told without question, the moment he had seen the woman he knew that this was more than likely going to happen. Kai was nowhere near being a model citizen, but he wasn’t a complete monster like most believed him to be, his acts of kindness were simply very selective and few and far between. In many ways, Kai’s anger was like an irritable cat having its fur stroked in the wrong direction; if one played by Kai’s rules and did everything as he expected, then he would remain content, if one didn’t play the game by Kai’s standards… well then they better pray that his claws were the worst of their punishment.
Kai told Hari to stay put in the car and to keep it running as he stepped out to look towards the young woman who was now illuminated by the headlights. She was a tiny little thing already, but the way she was shivering and huddled in on herself made her look even smaller. She was half soaked to the bone, desperately in need of a bath and beat up as well, he could already see the dried blood that coated the right side of her head and long (h/c) hair as well as other numerous little cuts and scrapes that were littered across her face and bare hands. Cleaned up she would be quite the beautiful young woman all things considered. He was definitely right about her clothes though, they were some of the oddest garments he had ever seen on a woman. From the damp black coat that looked like it was more for appearance than practicality, to the provocative skintight trousers and fitted leather boots that both concealed her body and showed it off, it was a far cry from the usual long skirts, baggy pants and pressed blouses that most women wore, but still very flattering on her.
But it wasn’t until she lifted her head to meet his gaze that he truly became captivated.
It was her eyes, they were big and (e/c) and they were staring at him as if he was an oasis in a vast desert, as if he was her god given solace and it left a strange feeling chorusing through him. The best way he could describe it is by remembering a time from his childhood, when he was still very little and his aversion to all things filthy had not quite set in as strongly yet, when he had fallen out of a tree he had climbed. He remembers how it had seemed as if time slowed down around him as he plummeted down towards the ground, how he felt weightless and it left a tickling sensation in his stomach right before he impacted with the ground. It was a rush and his desire to find out who this woman was was even more consuming now than it was a few seconds ago.
“Are you alright Miss?” He asked smoothly, trying his best to sound as cordial as possible so as not to spook her. “You appear to be injured.”
Finally, after what seemed like forever, a vehicle had stopped for you and a seemingly handsome young man stepped out to ask if you needed assistance. Your head was pounding and your vision was so blurry though that all you could tell about him was that he had short dark hair and was dressed in a stylish dark suit with a slight vintage look to it and a black dust mask that covered his face from the nose down.
“I-I had an accident…” Your voice sounded hoarse and weak when you spoke and it took everything you had to stay standing upright as you wobbled on your feet. “Fell in the river while… while on a walk.”
Well that explained why you looked half drowned, Kai thought, his concern rising when he saw the way you were swaying from side to side. Just as he was about to speak again, you beat him to it, but what you said left him confused since he had no clue as to what you were speaking of.
“Pardon me Miss, but what did you say?” He calmly inquired.
You shook your head, trying to clear away the cloudy haze and black spots from your vision as you fought to get the words out through your dry mouth. “My-My cell phone is acting weird, can’t-can’t get a signal… could I borrow yours?”
Cell phone? What was that?
Kai knew what a telephone was, they were still relatively new though and very expensive. But he had never heard of a cell phone before, and what was that you had said about a signal? This was becoming more and more intriguing by the second. Were you speaking of something real or were you merely hallucinating and babbling nonsense?
“I am afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about Miss. I’ve never heard of a cell phone before, but if you have someone you’d like to get in contact with, you’re more than welcome to use the telephone I have back at my home.” He gestured towards the still running car, fully expecting a heartfelt thank you and for you to get in without further questions, what he got instead was not at all what he had been expecting.
His head shot up when he heard you scoff and a rough, humorless chuckle fall from your pretty mouth. “That-That’s just great…” You mumbled sarcastically, just loud enough for him to hear. “First car to stop and help and it’s some jackass wanting to play fucking mind games with me.” You looked him in the eye, you gaze hard and unflinching. “Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll take my chances with walking. The last thing I need right now is help from some asshole who just wants to fuck with my head.” You spat bitterly and began to make your way past him to continue on down the road, but stopped when your movement brought on a sudden dizzy spell and before you knew it, you were slumping to the ground as dead weight, your vision going completely black as you quickly lost conscience. Your anger and frustration had cleared your head for only a moment, but just as quickly as the clarity had come, it was gone again, and it took your waking mind right along with it.
If he was a more sensitive man, Kai may have been appalled and shocked at the way you had just spoken to him. Most women who met him saw his wealth in the way he dressed and carried himself and most threw themselves at him in an effort to gain his attention, some succeeded, some were cast aside, but what they all had in common was a more conniving way of going about it. They were flirty, trying to sway his opinion of them by stroking his ego with pretty words and coy smiles, and it had become boring. When he was younger, he had taken women to bed only to avoid being looked down on by his peers and other members of the organization, and while he had made sure the ones he chose had greatly enjoyed themselves, he himself had never gotten much more than a weak release out of those moments.
But you didn’t appear to notice or care about his appearance or the visible signs of his wealth. Instead, you simply ignored him as if he was just some random nobody you had met on the street, even going so far as to speak to him in a disrespectful tone and use crass, unladylike language on top of it. He knew he should be feeling slighted and angered by your lack of respect, but instead, all he felt was elated and proud. You were already a pretty little mystery that he wanted to solve, but now you were proving yourself to be a challenge for him to conquer and break.
But before he could do that, he needed to find a way to get you back to the compound and under his care and supervision. You were obviously hurt, disoriented, and lost, so his fist order of business was seeing to it that you got proper care and were back on your feet first and foremost, that would give him time to plan out how best to go about this new pet project of his.
Luckily you passed out before making it too far and he quickly ordered Hari to get you into the backseat of the Packard, to which his lieutenant did without question. A spare blanket from the trunk was draped over your small frame and as he took his place in the passenger seat up front, he reached back and placed his still gloved hand against your forehead and even through the material he could feel that you were burning up with a nasty fever. Once back at home, he would need to have Dr. Takani take a look at you after the maids gave you a bath and changed your clothes. It wouldn’t be right to let his new little curiosity become too ill after all. 
He had found you and now you were his responsibility to care for. He was a man that took pride and care in all his possessions, and already you were becoming his new favorite. He didn’t know a thing about you, not even your name, but that was part of it, finding out everything he could about you was going to be half the fun of it.
“Where would you like to go Kai?” He heard Hari ask, but he never took his eyes off of you beautiful face as he replied.
“We’re going home.”
Sorry if this seemed a bit rushed, I was too excited to post it and didn't do a whole lot of editing besides a quick once over. lol
155 notes · View notes
1heartfanfics · 4 years ago
Note
Love when the male character calls it his tummy, says some food didn't sit right/upset it, moans, publicly rubs his stomach, asks for SO/friend to help take care of him. Def want to request an emeto story but more of a build up like he can't get it out/feels sick to stomach longer/needs more taking care of before vomiting
TW: depictions of vomit
“Hey man you want another beer?” Zayn asked as Jackson walked over to him.
“Nah, I’m just gonna stick with the one today I think,” Jackson shook his head. 
“Fair enough,” Zayn answered, pulling one out of the cooler for himself and another for Andrew. 
“So how’s married life?” Jackson asked, walking back over towards the rest of the group with him. Their whole friend group had gone out to the lake for the weekend before class started again. 
“It’s awesome! I mean it doesn’t really feel any different than it did before most of the time. But then I’ll randomly have these moments where I’m like ‘holy shit we’re like married married’,” Zayn laughed. 
“That’s great, I’m really happy for you guys,” Jackson chuckled as well. 
“Why do you ask?” Zayn pressed, although he had his suspicions. 
“Well,” Jackson flushed a little, “I’ve just been thinking I guess. I mean, not like right now, but I think I want to propose sometime this year,” he rambled nervously. 
“That’s awesome dude, you guys are great together,” Zayn reached out and shook Jackson’s hand. They weren’t exactly close friends, Jackson and Kaiser both knew Andrew a lot better than his husband. Zayn kept to himself a lot. 
“Hey Jaz?” Kaiser spoke up from behind Jackson. He spun around, heart racing. How much of that had he heard? It was way too early to have ruined his idea. But then he saw Kaiser’s face and realized that potential eavesdropping was not what he needed to be worried about. Kaiser was pale (even more so than usual) and had a slight grimace on his face. Something was wrong.
“Hey, what’s wrong Kai?” he asked, wrapping an arm around Kaiser’s waist. 
“My tummy isn’t feeling so good,” Kaiser shrugged, leaning into Jackson’s side as he brought one hand up to rub at his stomach through the tank top he was wearing. 
“Alright, let’s go inside, get you out of the sun. Maybe some cool air will help, yeah?” Jackson said softly. Kaiser turned into a child when he wasn’t feeling well. 
“We have a slew of antacids and stuff in our room, feel free to grab whatever you need,” Zayn said, looking on knowingly. Both he and Andrew suffered from their fair share of stomach problems, so they always liked to be prepared, especially when they knew they weren’t going to be at home for a couple of days. 
Jackson gave him a nod and a grateful smile as he ushered Kaiser inside, gently pressing him forward with a hand on the small of his back.
“Here we go, air conditioning might do you some good,” Jackson said as they walked inside the cabin they were all staying in. He led Kaiser over to the couch in the main room and helped him lower himself down right in front of the air vent. 
“Everything okay?” Nathan asked. Him, Hazel, Alex, and Charlotte were playing a game of cards at the coffee table in one corner of the room. 
“Stomach’s bothering him,” Jackson answered, sitting down next to Kaiser, who was leaned back with his eyes closed, one hand rubbing back and forth across his stomach. 
“Overheated?” Hazel asked. “I can go get him a bottle of water from the cooler if you want,” she offered. 
“Yeah, that would be great, thanks Hazel,” Jackson nodded before turning his attention to Kaiser. “You think you might just be overheated?” he asked, placing a comforting hand on his knee. 
Kaiser shook his head, “I don’t think lunch is agreeing with me. Something isn’t sitting right.”
“Do you want to try some medicine then? Zayn said he had some in their room,” he asked, rubbing circles into Kaiser’s leg with his thumb. 
“I guess,” Kaiser shrugged.
“Okay, I’ll be right back,” he said, leaning over to kiss Kaiser’s cheek as he stood up, then darted off towards Zayn and Andrew’s room. 
Sure enough there was a small collection of medicine bottles sitting on the little table next to the bed. He decided to go for pepto over tums, since that seemed to work better for Kaiser, then headed back to the living room. 
Hazel was sitting next to Kaiser, her arm draped over his shoulders. He somehow looked even worse than when Jackson had left not two minutes ago. His face had paled to a shade of almost grey, sweat starting to bead on his forehead. 
“What happened?” he asked.
“He took a couple sips of water but now he’s feeling kinda queasy,” Hazel answered, retracting her arm and scooting over to allow Jackson to take his spot beside his boyfriend. 
“Hey, talk to me babe,” he said softly.
“Dunno, my tummy’s just really upset,” Kaiser whined, turning to press his face into Jackson’s shoulder. 
Jackson wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, rubbing his back gently as Kaiser curled up to him. Although Kaiser was pretty open about stuff like this, he was probably a little uncomfortable now having all these people around. But it didn’t seem like he was really up for moving to their room. He could tell that the others were trying hard not to look at them, but they all kept stealing glances. 
“You feel like you might be sick?” Jackson asked. 
“Yeah-” he cut himself off with a gulp, “Feeling pretty nauseous now,” he continued. 
“Do you want to move to the bathroom?” He asked quietly. 
Kaiser shook his head slowly. He felt like everything was spinning and his limbs suddenly felt so heavy. All he’d done was take two sips of water and then this wave of nausea had just come crashing over him. 
“Here,” Hazel said, getting up to grab the trash can from the other side of the room and placing it in front of Kaiser.
“Thank you,” Jackson said, smiling wryly at her. This certainly had come on fast. 
“Hazel come here, don’t hover. Give them some privacy,” Nathan said, motioning for her to rejoin their game. 
“Do you need anything love?” Jackson asked once they were sort-of alone.
“Will you rub my belly for me?” Kaiser asked shyly. 
“Of course Kai,” Jackson slid his other arm around to Kaiser’s front. Kaiser moved his own hand, grabbing Jackson’s wrist to position his hand over the middle of his stomach. Jackson started to rub gently, feeling how tight and bloated his stomach felt. Something really was not agreeing with him, that was for sure. 
“Woah, what happened to you two?” Andrew asked, walking in to grab a bottle of water. He was starting to feel a little drunk and needed something to dilute the alcohol in his system. 
“Shh, he’s feeling a little sick to his stomach,” Zayn chided him. 
“Oh, sorry. M’drunk,” Andrew said more quietly. 
“Did you find some medicine for him?” Zayn asked Jackson.
“I grabbed the pepto, but he thinks he’s gonna throw up, so we’re just waiting it out,” Jackson said. 
“Shit, that really sucks. Hang in there Kaiser,” Zayn said, then dragged his drunk husband to the kitchen to absorb some of the alcohol he’d consumed. 
“Oh god,” Kaiser moaned, sitting up and leaning forward over the trash. Jackson maneuvered it to rest between Kaiser’s legs so he didn’t have to lean over so far. 
“You’re okay, just breathe,” Jackson said, leaving his hand resting on Kaiser’s stomach, his other hand rubbing his back. 
“It’s a good thing Tayden isn’t here,” Alex piped up from across the room. Their emetophobic friend would not have been having a good time if he were here right now. 
“Fuck, I can feel it, but it’s not coming up,” Kaiser breathed out, voice shaking. Actually all of him was shaking. 
“Just relax, it’ll happen when you’re ready,” Jackson said, wrapping his arm all the way around Kaiser to take some of his weight off of his shaking arms. 
Kaiser was rocking back and forth now, eyes squeezed shut as he was wracked with wave after wave of nausea. The vertigo was enough to make him sick on its own, not to mention the sloshing and churning of his stomach like a washing machine. 
“I need to throw up so bad Jaz,” Kaiser cried, tears starting to slide down his cheeks. 
“Okay, okay, here let me help,” Jackson said, moving his arm down to press against Kaiser’s stomach. He tightened his grip, pushing in harder against his upset stomach.
That extra bit of pressure was enough to finally get him started. He pitched forward with a wet belch that morphed into a gag, bringing whatever was upsetting his stomach so bad finally up and out. He brought up a wave of vomit into the trashcan, coughing and spitting as it continued to come up. 
When his stomach was empty, he reached down to press a hand into his stomach, sending up another sick sounding belch from his belly. He sat back, leaning against Kaiser with a sigh of relief, although he was still shaking from the exertion.
“Feel better love?” Jackson asked, brushing Kaiser’s sweat dampened hair out of his face. He could feel the eyes of everyone else on them.
“My tummy still hurts but I’m not nauseous anymore,” Kaiser shrugged. 
“You want to try some pepto now to keep it settled?” Jackson asked. 
Kaiser nodded, so he reached over and grabbed the bottle. He poured out a capfull, handing it to kaiser along with the glass of water Hazel had gotten. Kaiser quickly downed the medicine then took a small sip of water, afraid of upsetting his stomach again. 
“There we go. You want to go lay down for a bit?” Jackson asked softly, carding his fingers through Kaiser’s hair. 
He nodded tiredly, eyes drooping. Throwing up really took it out of a person. Jackson helped him up, basically hauling him off of the couch and dragging him down the hall to their room. All of their friends gave them sympathetic looks as they passed, having gone quiet as soon as Kaiser started getting sick. 
Leave it to Kaiser to get a stomach ache so bad he pukes in front of all their friends while on their ‘relax’ weekend at the lake. 
107 notes · View notes
chocolatemin · 4 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
word count: 7.3k
genre: soulmate au, fantasy, fluff, angst
synopsis: It's been two years, and you still hasn't met your soulmate while everyone did, leading you to think that you are unfortunate and will probably live alone for the rest of your life, and your friend always on the go to help you and cheer you up, helping you feel a little less lonely, would you be able to overcome the loneliness or will your soulmate finally show up?
Tumblr media
They say, once you turn sixteen, you’ll be able to find out your soulmate and the only connection with them is through your dream, except there’s one thing you won’t remember about your soulmate: their name, unless you have already met in person. Some are eager and excited to turn sixteen, ready to meet their soulmate; the others are terrified, especially those in a relationship, not wanting to leave their partner behind, afraid that their soulmate will not love them just as or more than their current partner. However, the case for you seems different, you haven’t seen your soulmate, never, in one of your dreams, and now, you are eighteen and still waiting for your soulmate to appear in your dream.
“Say, Kai, you’ve met your soulmate, right?” You ask your seatmate without sparing a glance and continue scribbling on your notebook while waiting for the last period to end.
“Yeah, you still haven’t met yours?” Huening Kai mumbles in a quiet voice, just enough for you to hear, not wanting to get caught.
“I just want to ask what it is like to meet them. What did you feel the first time your soulmate appeared?” 
“Didn’t you ask that for a hundred times already?” Your seatmate almost turned his head to you, confusion taking over his features, he meant no harm and he wanted to pat your back, he just didn’t want you to keep being insecured at him. 
“I want to experience that too.” Your shoulders slump and you heave a sigh which Huening Kai caught from his peripheral vision, he couldn’t endure you being sad and sneakily place his left hand on your back, giving you a pat, “I know you’ll meet them soon, trust me.” Turning your head to his direction, you saw him smiling at you. You can’t help but to return the smile, feeling a bit better. How can you just ignore his contagious bright smile?
Minutes passing felt like an eternity while your professor continued his lecture. You hear the bell ring, signalling your professor for dismissal. Lost in your own thoughts, you didn’t notice the professor leaving the room and your classmates standing up to fix their things. You stare blankly at your notebook while you slowly tap your pen continuously. You hear a loud sound of a dropped object  from your right, causing you to flinch and turn your head, “Thank goodness you’re back!” Huening Kai shook his head while he fixed his things inside his bag, lips forming into a thin line, “Why must you slam your bag on the table? You could’ve tapped my shoulder,” You stood up from your seat, finally arranging your belongings.  
“I wanted to try something different today,” he giggles before making a peace sign with his hand, you shake your head and he laughs at your reaction, “I thought, tapping your shoulder might not work anymore. Well, recently, I’ve been tapping your shoulders for about three to five times and you still don’t snap out of your trance.”
“Wait, did our professor give homework?” You asked, slinging your bag on your shoulder, tilting your head to the side. 
“Nope.”
“Thanks for walking me home, Kai.” You elbow the young man beside you lightly, while your hands are fixed on the straps of your bag on your side. You turn your heel to face him with a faint smile on your face, the young man beside you returns the smile and nod, “That’s what best friends are for!”
“Head home safely.”
“Our houses are literally beside each other!” 
“Oops, I forgot.” 
You fished the key from your pocket and inserted it to the door, you heard a soft click and entered. “I’m home!” You spoke loudly while you took off your shoes before heading to your room. 
You drop your bag to the chair and let out a sigh as the feeling of loneliness still lingers in your heart, shaking your head and you make your way to the bathroom to take a quick shower. The warm water hitting your skin gently soothes your uneasy mind and aching heart, and slowly helps you forget about your worry for a while. You hear knocks from the door of your room followed by the calm voice of your mother, “Come down, sweetie. The dinner’s ready.” 
“I’ll be there in a minute!” You yelled from the bathroom, quickly wrapping your body with a towel, before jumping out of the shower, heading to the mirror to dry your hair swiftly. You wore a light blue pair of pyjamas, with cherries as its design, one of your favorites. You quietly head outside your room and rush downstairs, not wanting to keep everyone waiting. 
The dinner is awfully quiet, no one dared to speak, probably having their bad days too. You are used to this, even though this does not occur quite often, you tried striking a conversation before and failed nonetheless, so you did not bother to try anymore. You volunteered to wash the dishes, so that they can rest early and prevent them to start bickering at each other on how tired they were and arguing over who's going to wash the dishes. You carefully dry the plates before placing them on the cabinet and removing the apron after.
You turn off the lights on your way to your room and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth. You plop down on your bed, your body facing towards the ceiling and your thoughts instantly wander on your soulmate, questions start to fill your head. From questions such as: 'Why hasn't my soulmate shown up in my dreams? It's already been like two years?'; 'I'll be turning college in the next few months and I still haven't met my soulmate, would I feel out of place?'; 'Will someone make fun of me for not being able to meet my soulmate yet?' to 'Do I even have a soulmate to begin with?'
Tears start to fill your vision, causing it to become blurry and your breathing gradually becoming uneven. You sob quietly, burying your hands on your face, not wanting the world to see you crying over this thing, not wanting the world to pity you. After about twenty minutes of crying to yourself, sleepiness started making its way on you.
"Why are you crying?" Your head immediately turns to find the owner of the voice, "W-who are you?" You are confused, you were just in your bed minutes ago, and now you are sitting on grass near a lake.
"It doesn't matter, answer my question first." Your eyes traveled to the forest on your right, where the deep, honey voice came from. "Where are you?"
Seconds passed and you did not receive an answer, you cleared your throat, "It was a bad day." You turn to face the lake in your front before lowering your head, loneliness starts to creep up on you and tears slowly brimming in your eyes, just being reminded of your day adds up to the dread you are feeling, you covered your face in frustration.
You feel a warm hand over your shoulder and hear a shuffling noise beside you, "Who are you?"
"Your soulmate, Kang Taehyun."
You immediately turn your head to him, looking like an absolute mess; eyes raw from crying, tear-stain and flushed cheeks, seeing your soulmate looking like an actual angel or something straight out of a comic book, almost surreal-- his eyes are big and pretty, a perfect nose, and soft, pink lips, made you self-conscious and embarrassed, “Sorry, you have to see me like this in our first meeting.” He shook his head and gave you a smile, you noticed that he has dimples on both sides, making him even more handsome. He brought his hand over your face, caressing your cheeks before wiping off your tears using his thumb and inched closer to you. 
"I'm so happy to finally meet you, I've been waiting diligently for you to show up." You spoke softly, voice almost cracked, your throat became dry due to crying.
"I'm glad, but it was my fault, I've been a coward. I couldn't bring myself to get out and stop hiding behind the trees," Taehyun sighed, ashamed of his cowardice, "I understand if you get mad at me... I am so sorry." Without further thinking, you get on your knees before wrapping your arms around his shoulder, shifting the weight to Taehyun that caused him to lose his balance and you both fell to the ground, with your body on top of his. Taehyun placed his arms around your waist and he whispered an apology.
"I can't be mad at you, but I'm hurt. I forgive you though, I am rather thankful that you finally stepped out of that forest," you nuzzle your head further on his neck, "I thought I was alone all the time and something was wrong with me for not being able to meet my soulmate."
Taehyun gently strokes your hair, something that really annoys you if anyone does that, but to your surprise, Taehyun doing it makes you feel safe and cared for. After some time of talking and cuddling as you both lie down on grass, you did not notice that the continuous stroking of your hair is already lulling you to sleep, unconsciously making you close your eyes, and the last thing you heard before the pitch black darkness pull you to a deep slumber was Taehyun's muffled voice.
"Good night, my soulmate."
Tumblr media
“Good morning, Kai Kamal Huening!” 
The greeting took your best friend by surprise, furrowing his eyebrows at you, you can’t help but to laugh at the funny face he made, “Wow, you seem to be in a good mood today.” 
“Of course! Why shouldn’t I?” You broke into a wide grin. Huening Kai couldn’t hide the smile forming on his face, it’s been a while since the last time he saw you happy and smiling widely. Taking the bus, it took you a good twenty minutes to arrive early, just as usual, earning more time for the both of you to chit-chat. Huening Kai learned that you met your soulmate last night, he was glad and happy for you. 
“It is nice seeing you all bubbly and giddy,” you look up to Huening Kai, who is sitting across you, taking a bite of his food, you can hear the sincerity in his voice, “it’s been quite a long time since you last talked a lot. I’m happy for you.” 
“Thanks for cheering me up whenever I needed it.” 
“Don’t mention it. I got you.” 
The day passed, without you noticing that it’s already your last period for the day, except you were in a different class from Huening Kai today. You listened intently to the professor, taking down notes, making sure that you only included the important parts, it is your favorite subject anyway. 
“Greeks believed that in the beginning, there were three parents: Sun, Moon, and Earth. From the Sun was produced the man; from earth, the woman; from the Moon, the androgyne. Each of these three was a double, one head with two faces looking out in opposite directions, four arms and legs, and two sets of genitalia.”
“Humans were very powerful creatures, fearless and strong, and even dared to threaten the Gods. They threatened to conquer them and rule in their stead and become the new Gods.”
“According to the Greek Philosopher Plato: Gods feared their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”
Yedam, the genius of the class, raised his hand before standing up, “But Sir, the humans lived in despair, they started to starve themselves to death. And Apollo was instructed to rejoin them temporarily and moved their genitals to the belly side of the body.” 
Yedam went back to his seat, Professor Choi cleared his throat, “Yes, that is right. So, he sewed them up, reconstituted their body forms and just left the navel as the only reminder of their original form,” taking a short pause, “humans went from double face and double sex creatures with eight limbs, to single faced ones of a single sex, with two arms and two legs. And they forever longed for their soul and physical other half. ”
Everyone went ‘ooh’, fascinated by the theory.
“Not only that, and according to the myth, when these two halves find each other, there will be a silent understanding of one another, they will feel joined and exist with each other in unison and they will know no greater joy than that.” 
“Whether this Soulmate story is purely a myth, or there is some truth in it, we’ll never know, but please respect each other’s belief.” Professor Choi beamed a smile before gathering his books, carrying them in his left arm, “Do you have any questions?”
“None, sir.” Your class answered in chorus.
“Well then, I hope you learned a lot, or even a thing or two from our lesson. We’ll have a test next meeting, don’t pressure yourselves too much. Just do your best, alright?”
“Yes, Professor Choi.”
“You are now dismissed. See you, class. Head home safely.” Professor Choi waved before leaving the room.
Professor Choi always treated his students like children of his own, he always shows his students that he cares, and that he can be trusted with their problems. He gives advice whenever a student approaches him to talk about a problem; whether a relationship problem, problems regarding oneself or even family problems. That is the reason he is your favorite among all your subject teachers. You gather your things, leaving the classroom to wait for your best friend outside the building. You are still mesmerized by the lesson, walking obliviously, you didn’t notice that you already reached your meeting place. You feel a hand grab your arms, regaining your self, you look up to see who it is.
“Oh, Kai.” 
“Watch where you’re going, your mind is wandering far away again.” Huening Kai shakes his head.
“By the way, do you have any plans tomorrow?” You asked, having a hard time catching up to Huening Kai’s long strides, “But importantly, can you slow down? You are walking so fast.”
“It’s not my fault your legs are short.” Huening Kai retorted, erupting into a fit of giggles, you smack his arm, “You’re just too tall!” You yelled, earning a laugh from your best friend, that sooner slows down so that you could keep up to him, “You haven’t answered my question, are you hiding something from me?” You eyed him suspiciously, giving him a glare which he stammered in response, you notice how his cheeks instantly turn crimson.
“Is there anything to hide from you?” The young man beside you snickered, “I was just thinking of what I should buy tomorrow for my soulmate. So in case we meet one day, I have something for her. What about you?”
“Oh, right, your family is going on a two-day trip tomorrow. Don’t forget to buy me a souvenir!” You beamed a smile, “My plans for tomorrow are to eat and to sleep.”
“Yeah, you would say that.” 
Tumblr media
"Taehyun, don't you find the concept of forgetting your soulmate's name every morning absurd?" Sitting beside each other, you lean your head over to his shoulder, grabbing his hand, intertwining it with yours.
"Not really."
"Oh, why?"
"I think that keeps the enthusiasm high and thrill on finding your soulmate. You'd be very excited to meet your soulmate, not only because you will finally see them, but also to finally remember their name, without forgetting it."
"You do have a point."
"The only thing we forget every morning is just each other's name, but not the memory of what happened."
"Yeah, you're right."
Using your free hand, you started to fiddle with the hem of your shirt as you try to recall your dreams. You have not thought that through, why did you realize that just now? Since Taehyun appeared in your dreams, you haven't forgotten a single thing, all the memories are fresh and vivid from the time you wake up and up until now.
Having him around gives a pleasant feeling, like a cool morning breeze in spring and the scent of chamomiles. Taehyun was always gentle and thoughtful, straightforward but caring. He is the epitome of perfection, though no one is perfect, but Taehyun seems to surpass the known saying. It's been quite a long time since you two have met, you've been constantly meeting each other for about a month now. You envied your best friend for being able to meet his soulmate in person, the day his family went on a trip. Not only did he buy you lots of souvenirs but he also brought lots of stories, including how he met his soulmate.
"Do you think we'll be able to see each other soon?"
"Of course, why do you ask?"
"I just can't wait to see you. I bet you are far more handsome in person than in our dream." You chuckle lightly to hide the embarrassment, you mentally slap yourself from the slip of the tongue.
Taehyun laughs before shaking his head, he then pulls you into his lap, hugging your body while his other hand plays with your hair. One thing you learned during one month is that Taehyun is clingy. He loves affection, he loves touching you: pulling you closer to snuggle, holding your hand, leaning his head on your shoulder, caressing your hair, and so on. You find it cute and endearing.
"I don't want this dream to end." You speak softly, feeling the drowsiness make its way to you, "I want to stay for a bit longer."
You yawn, burying your head further against his chest, you can feel his chest rising up and down slowly.
"Neither do I, but we have to. Oh, and you have a test on your first subject right?"
"Yes, I did study but I'm not confident."
"I know you'll ace the test."
"You have more faith in me than I have for myself," you laugh before continuing, "can I get a good luck at least?"
"Do you think you'll be able to perfect the test now?" You can hear the smugness on his voice.
"You're getting ahead of yourself."
"Am I really?" Taehyun mocked.
"I was going to say that first, but here you go." You feel a warm sensation and a fuzzy feeling in your chest as Taehyun places a gentle, lasting kiss on the top of your head, your face immediately heats up from your soulmate's bold move. Sighing in defeat, "Yes, I do feel confident now."
"That's my girl."
Tumblr media
"Yah! Kai Kamal Huening! Wait for me!"
"Quiet down, the whole city can hear your voice!"
"Why are you walking like that?"
Struggling to keep up with the tall lad, you walked behind him instead while holding onto his backpack.
"I'm in a hurry today, I have a formal dinner to attend to. Don't you remember?"
"Pancakes, we could've taken a bus!"
"Why didn't I think of that earlier?"
You rolled your eyes, irritated by your friend's amazing life choice. Shaking your head, you jog beside him, "You know what? You'll get home all sweaty anyway."
"So, what are you trying to say?"
"I couldn't let this chance slip away!" You hear Huening Kai's voice from behind as he chases after you.
Smiling to yourself, "the last one to reach our neighbourhood has to pay for the food the next time we hangout!" You smiled cheekily before sprinting off, the cold breeze slipping past your body.
Luckily, the two of you are already quite near your neighbourhood, making it easier for you to win. You huffed from the lack of air, taking heavy breaths after stopping on your tracks.
"Hey! You cheated!" Heuning Kai spoke, panting heavily, clutching on his knees as he inhaled air.
"You always say that whenever you lose to me!" You turn to face Huening Kai.
"No, it's because you always cheat!"
"Just accept your defeat!" You laugh, patting his shoulder.
"I want another round!"
"Fine. The first to reach one's house will get to decide where to eat, and the last will have to pay."
"Sounds good." Huening Kai nods.
"3... 2... 1!"
Both of you dashed all the way to your houses. You feel your legs giving out, tired from running, but you cannot lose to that competition, you paid for both of you last time, you couldn't let your wallet suffer again, especially to the hands of your best friend. He purposely picks the expensive food, just to annoy you, since you cannot say no. It's time for you to get back to him.
"I'm first!" You and Huening Kai yelled in unison, you turn to face each other while standing in front of each other's houses, shock evident on your faces.
"No! Me!" You both speak at the same time.
"No! It's me!" Huening Kai sticks his tongue out to you, until, "Inside. Now."
You both turned your heads to the owner of the voice and saw Huening Kai's mother, standing in an elegant dress at the doorstep, with an annoyed expression.
"Auntie, sorry for bringing Kai late. I asked him to wait for me." You went over to Kai and bowed down to her mother, you sneakily nudged the guy beside you and he muttered thanks under his breath.
"Ah, is that so? I understand, you shouldn’t be left walking alone at night."
"I'm sorry for causing trouble, auntie."
Huening Kai's mother shook her head then smiled at you, "No, it's all good. I'm glad to hear that Hyuka is being responsible."
"I believe you should get going now, Kai." He nods before giving you a wave, parting ways with you.
You smile at his mom and bow once more, before heading back to your house. It must be nice to grow up in a wealthy family, you thought.
Putting the unnecessary thoughts away, you make your way to your room, just as usual, dropping off your bag on the chair and head to the bathroom to wash your body. Somehow, you didn't feel like eating, besides, your parents are away until tomorrow night, you don't really have to force yourself to eat. It's not that you are too lazy to cook for yourself, but there is something inside you that makes you feel uneasy and empty.
I wonder what it is.
Draping the blanket over your body, you took one last glance on the clock, which says 9:45, after finishing all your homework and studying, you can now finally get some rest. Your legs ache due the p.e. class today and all the running on your way home.
You closed your eyes, drifting into dreamland.
You spotted Taehyun sitting cross-legged on your usual spot, his back facing you, “Looks like you slept with your uniform on,” you sat on his left, nudging his side, giggling.
“Well yeah, I knocked out as soon as my body came in contact with the bed,” Taehyun scratched the back of his head.
“That’s fine, you must be tired, eh?” You motioned him to move closer to you, “Why don’t you rest your head on my lap?”
“That’s a good idea,” Taehyun smiled before laying down on the grass, resting his head on your lap. You gently caress his soft locks, trying not to burst from the fuzzy feeling and butterflies erupting in your stomach, and a comforting silence enveloped the both of you.
Minutes passed and you are startled by Taehyun, who suddenly jolted up from his position, turning to face you, “I just remembered, I was supposed to show you something!” Taehyun looks adorable, his eyes twinkling, and his mouth agape.
“Really, what is it?” Taehyun gestured you to get up, offering you his hand which you gladly took.
“Something I found there,” he says as he points towards the forest, “don’t worry, it’s not scary there.” He pulls you beside him, his arm draped over your shoulder as you enter the forest. You realize that it isn’t really scary inside, as the moon is brightly illuminating the path, and is rather mystical, there are floating balls of different colored lights around and even fireflies.
You notice something glowing in the middle of the forest, “What’s that?”
He squints his eyes towards the glowing light, “Wait, let me take a closer look at it first,” he signals you to step aside and wait for him as he takes careful steps towards the object.
“Oh, this is really beautiful,” he turned his head to you, “come over here!”
“Wow, that’s a really pretty flower. Is this the thing you wanted to show me?” You ask.
“Yes, but it looks different now, it isn’t glowing the last time I saw it.” He turns to face you, extending his hand to you, “May I hold your hand?”
You smile, placing your hand over his, but instead, your hand passed through his.
Taehyun looks at you, completely taken aback, “What was that?!” 
He stepped closer to you, moving his hand over to your cheek, and you saw how his hand slipped through. 
“What is happening?” You took a few steps back. 
“I don’t know... let’s try again.” This time it is you, pulling him to a hug but fails.
“Why can’t I touch you?” You asked, heart thumping loudly in your chest, you don’t feel good about this.
“Look! The moon is disappearing! We have to wake up now!” Taehyun pointed his hand to the moon that is currently fading while the two of you get dizzy, your surroundings disappearing to the void of darkness.
“Taehyun-”
Taehyun’s eyes flutter open, a heavy feeling lingering on his heart. He slid his hand inside his pocket and took out a piece of paper, “Why are the letters all messed up?” Trying to recall the memory, he remembered writing his soulmate’s name on the paper, along with a number, 1107, using a pen from his other pocket,  “but I can clearly read the date.. Why is that?” 
Taehyun got up from his bed to prepare for the day, putting aside the uneasy feeling, hoping that things will go back to normal later.
On the other hand, you are currently lying on your bed, distracted by the recent happening. You can’t seem to figure out the reason why you cannot touch your soulmate, it happened too fast, you were just walking through the woods, holding each other, and in a snap, your hands were already passing through each other's bodies.
Kai kept rambling beside you on your way to school but every word he said had gained no attention from you, it was just passing through your other ear and went out with your other ear.
"Why am I still talking? You're not even listening."
"Oh, sorry, what was it again?"
"I asked if you and your parents are free later, Mom kept insisting-- no, bugging me to ask you to have dinner with us this week."
"Oh, have you forgotten? They're out until later night. Maybe on Saturday?" You turn your head to his direction and you see him nod.
"Well then, it's settled. Saturday night at 8. I'll just message Mom later." Huening Kai stuffed his hand into his pockets.
"Alright, tell her I really miss her cooking." You waved before parting ways, heading to your first class for the day.
You really tried your best to listen to what your prof has to say, but no, your mind wouldn't let you. Suddenly, you felt your phone vibrate from your pocket, glancing around you, you then pulled your phone to see the notification. It is from the one and only, Huening Kai. You shook your head before reading the text.
Huening Cat: this class is rlly boring istg!!
You: omg stop messaging me!!
Huening Cat: no i wont :ppp
You: i'm not a delinquent like u
You immediately hid your phone in your pocket again, picking up your pen, back on taking notes. You feel your phone vibrating non-stop, Kai is spamming you messages and you're getting annoyed.
Thankfully, the class is almost finished, all you need to do is wait for a few more minutes. Just as the professor stepped out of your room, you pulled out your phone and saw thirty three unread messages from your best friend, majority of those are nonsense and lame jokes until you read the last message.
Huening Cat: I've heard there will be a transfer student next week. Wanna bet things?
You: can't u just stop messaging me? classes are literally ongoing u dolphin :P
He didn't reply after that and is probably heading to the lab for his chemistry class. Of course, you had each other's schedules memorized.
You sat down on your usual table, near the window. Poking a hole using the straw, you sipped on your favorite drink, strawberry milk, while you waited for your Kai to arrive. You saw him enter the cafeteria, busy eyes scanning for you, you ducked, trying to hide but failed, soon saw your friend already walking towards your seat with a smile placed on his handsome face.
"You look like an idiot."
"So do you, excuse you," you roll your eyes at him.
"How come I am too?" He pulls the chair, settling down across your seat.
"Nothing in particular, you just look like one," you laugh while he makes a sign that he is going to flick your forehead but it was just a threat.
"I heard it's a guy," Kai spoke out of the blue.
"Where did that even come from?"
"Our prof accidentally spilled the tea," he giggles cutely, "it was really funny. The look on Professor Suh– he was even surprised."
"I think you should stop using the bird app for a while, you're using too much slang in one day," you shook your head, smile forming on your face, "but I can imagine Professor Suh looking very surprised."
"Maybe he forgot to drink his coffee?"
You try to suppress a laugh from Kai's remark, Professor Johnny Suh has been quite popular in your school, not only for his good looks and being a great prof but because his family owns a coffee shop near your school and his father is in charge of brewing and making delicious kinds of coffees, and students often drop by there every morning.
The day went smoothly than you imagined, having no interruptions and all, you weren't distracted by the happening last night, the feeling still lingers but you somehow learned a lot and managed to get high scores on your surprise tests. Unfortunately, Kai had to stay for a while in the indoor court for their upcoming basketball match next month for a meeting and it was an urgent one, so you are here walking home all by yourself. You are kind of missing your friend's annoying voice but you aren't feeling lonely, there were times in the past like this. Kicking the pebble in front of your house, you stepped inside the house with heavy steps.
No one knows this little habit of yours whenever your parents are not around– skipping dinner. It makes you feel lonely, dining by yourself, and you didn't want to feel that. After drying your hair, you went straight to bed, looking forward to what your dream has to offer tonight, despite the occurrence, though you are quite unsettled and unsure.
You see Taehyun, standing near the lake, looking up to the moon with his hands inside his pockets.
Grinning, "Taehyunie!"
He feels his heart skip a beat from the nickname, blush automatically creeping up to his face, "Oh hey, angel," a smile makes its way to Taehyun's face.
You rush to him with your arms open wide, ready to tackle him with a hug, but instead, you fall to the ground, face first.
"My angel! Are you hurt?" You look up to see Taehyun offering his hand to you which you tried taking but just like last night, your hand slipped through his. So instead, you stood up all by yourself.
"No, I'm okay," you shook your head laughing off the embarrassment, "what happened by the way?"
"It seems like we can't still touch each other, I saw you running towards me and I didn't even budge but I am surprised that I wasn't able to catch you," Taehyun looked down, disappointment in his eyes.
"Don't worry I'm fine-"
"This isn't fine, I cannot hold you, you cannot hold me, and this is our only way of seeing each other." Taehyun interrupted your sentence, you can feel how hurt he is.
"Everything will be okay, soon." You try to console him, raising your hand to pat his back, but you realize that it won't work so you smiled instead.
"I hope so, because I can't really stand us being like this."
Before you could speak, your surroundings started to fade, pitch black engulfing the both of you.
"What is this?" You sound terrified.
The place lit up with cryptic messages kind of and you stepped closer to each other, bringing your hands over your chest. It looks like you are inside a computer system, your surroundings filled with incomprehensible letters in green, sort of a different language, and to be honest, it creeps you out. A message flashes in front you two.
"This is a notice to those who haven't met their soulmates,"
Your heart starts to beat crazily, the message too bad for your liking, you loathed the way it started, but even so, the next message shocked you the most.
"the soulmate system will vanish at 16:00, the day after tomorrow. Those who haven't met their soulmate in person until the last day will be free forever to love the person they want."
You glance at Taehyun and see him with his mouth agape, obviously shocked too, his eyes glinting utter disappointment and sadness.
"Signing off, the Creators."
Your surroundings gradually returned to how it used to be like, unlike the two of you, still left in shock. You cannot move, as if you are frozen on your spot, only after trying to regain your normal breathing pattern you become able to move.
"Okay, so what was that?! We won't be able to see each other anymore after that?" You turned to Taehyun, looking absolutely shocked and terrified at the same time.
"We need to be quick, we have to meet each other before the soulmate system disappears–" Taehyun pauses to meet your eyes, "unless you want to spend the rest of your life with me…"
"If only you want to…"
The last words are almost whispered, but you are still able to catch it with your ears.
Oh how badly you want to hold him right now.
"Of course, Taehyun. I want to."
You see him flash a bright smile contrasting with the sadness in his eyes, "We don't have much time left, I believe."
"I think so too. What are we going to do now? But I don't think we will be able to meet soon," You bit your lip, unsure of what to do.
Seconds pass and the atmosphere is getting heavy.
"I think we can do something about that," Taehyun smirked, as if he outsmarted a genius, "Don't worry, we'll be fine."
"Don't tell me-"
"Yes, my love, we are going to defy the system." Taehyun steps closer to you, one hand in his pocket and the other one pointing to the night skies.
"How are we going to do that?" You are curious about his idea.
"Let's just say I found a loophole in the system," Taehyun pulled a pen from his pocket, and you only notice now that he is wearing his uniform again, "last night, while I was waiting for you, I wrote your name on a piece of paper along with a date."
"The ink remained, however, I couldn't read your name, the letters are all messed up but the date."
"So that means, everything we brought to sleep, just like this pen, stays in our dream, and everything we take from here stays when we wake up."
"How did you know that?"
Taehyun got taken aback by your question, "Uh, I remember picking a flower before and when I wake up, I am still holding it," he scratches the back of his head.
"That's so cool!" You are amazed by Taehyun's discoveries.
"Yes, but that's not the point."
"Oh right, sorry." Taehyun just smiles at you.He wanted to pinch your cheeks because of how cute you are right now, but he knows better.
"So, back to what I'm saying, we can write anything, except our names and be able to see and read it when we wake up."
You nod, "And what is the plan?"
"We'll write a location on our arms, on where we are going to meet, in case our memory starts fading due to the removal of the soulmate system."
"Oh my god, Taehyun! You're a genius!" You exclaim.
"And since we don't have much time, we have to think right now."
You squint to see his school logo, "Oh, your school isn't that far from our school, I think we could meet up somewhere between the distance of our schools," you paused, contemplating if your question makes sense, "What time does your class end?"
"Around five pm."
"Mine ends at exactly four thirty. I think you can meet me somewhere nearer your school, since I have a bit more time than you."
"Should we meet at the park then?"
"That will do."
"Okay, so we can write that on our arms," Taehyun handed you the pen, and you proceeded to write the said location.
"Are you sure this will work?" You ask Taehyun as soon as you finish writing on your arm, handing him back the pen so he could write on his arm too.
"Not really, but there's no harm in trying, right?" Taehyun looked up to you, "This is the only solution I can think of."
"I trust you, Taehyun." You gave him a bittersweet smile, feeling your heart ache from the uncertainty, but Taehyun returned the smile nevertheless.
"Say you'll remember me, Taehyun," you feel tears welling up from your eyes, "If ever we fail, know that I will never forget you, my mind may forget, but heart never forgets." 
"I'll forever treasure our memories deep in my heart," you sobbed, eventually Taehyun does too, "it's such a shame we only had a month."
"That is my fault, I did not show up earlier." Taehyun wants to hold you, pull you to an embrace, place reassuring kisses on the crown of your head but he can't which makes the situation worse.
"Keep in mind, angel, I love--"
Your eyes shot open, feeling the hot tears streaming from your eyes. You cover your face with your hands, crying your heart out. It is too early to cry, and you still have classes to attend to but you couldn't care any less. You take a look at your arm and see that the location is still there, so you get up from your feet to write it on your notebook and prepare breakfast even if you are still crying. Your tears start drying out while you eat your breakfast and regain your composure as you finish. You did your usual routine and waited for Kai outside your house.
"Why are your eyes like that? Did you cry?" Huening Kai grabbed your arm, concern written all over his face. You shook your head, quickly dismissing off the question which Huening Kai understood. The walk is quiet, and rather heavy, but Huening Kai chose to stay silent, not wanting to force you to talk or speak up about the reason behind your puffy eyes.
Thankfully, no one dared to question what happened to your eyes because you held your head down as soon as you reached the room, and you are lucky you are sharing the first class with your best friend. And your soulmate is right, memories from last night became hazy the more you try to remember it, all you remember is that you won't be able to see him again in your dreams if you don't meet him later and writing on your arm is a really good idea. You can't relax even for a minute knowing that you won't be able to remember him at all if you failed to meet up before 6 pm. You told Huening Kai your situation during lunch break and you are uneasy throughout the day, Huening Kai can't help but to feel bad knowing that he couldn't lend you help. He won't be able to go with you since he has practice after class but you told him it's fine and that you understand, and you are old enough to walk alone. You promised to text him as soon as you get home.
You waited impatiently for your last class to finish, glancing on the clock from time to time, and as soon as your professor exited the room, you quickly gathered your things and rushed outside of your room. You texted Kai that you're on your way to the meeting place, taking a bus. By the time you reached the park, it was already five forty pm. You turned your head from side to side, looking for a sign of your soulmate. 
You tapped your feet nervously while you waited for your soulmate to arrive, heart pounding loudly in your chest. You feel your stomach churn from being anxious, you take a look on the time on your phone, 5:50 pm. Saying that you're not losing hope would be a lie, you feel your warm tears starting to pool in your eye, you can barely remember now why you decided to pick the park out of all the places you could've possibly meet. Just as you are about to burst and sob, you heard a soft voice from your right.
“Is that you?” You look up to see a familiar face, a familiar pair of eyes. You immediately knew who it was, rushing to him, “yes, it’s me, y/n.”
“It feels nice to finally meet you,” the brown haired lad stretched out his hand to you, “your soulmate, Kang Taehyun.”
The way he introduced himself seemed familiar to you, “this time, I wouldn't forget your name anymore,” you feel your tears streaming down your face, from all the emotions you are all feeling right this moment, “c-can I hug you?”
He chuckles, wiping your tears before pulling you into his embrace which you immediately melted on, brushing your hair using his right hand, “I love you, y/n.” You feel him place a soft kiss on your forehead and you feel your heart flutter, this time it wasn't a dream anymore.
You hear a loud striking sound of a grandfather clock ringing in your ears, causing you to flinch and step back from Taehyun's arms, “Did you hear that too?” You asked, glancing over to your sides to see if there's someone in the park aside from you and Taehyun. “Yes,” he glanced on his watch, “it's already 6:01, that must be the signal that the soulmate system vanishes forever.”
“Thank goodness we made it on time,” you flash a smile while you take his hand from his side, “Taehyun...” You saw him nod in anticipation to your next words.
“I’m in love with you,” your face heats up from your boldness, “and I’m glad I’d get to spend the rest of my life with you, my soulmate.”
44 notes · View notes
rokutouxei · 4 years ago
Text
the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]
The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!
[ masterpost for all chapters ]
CHAPTER 20 OF 22
I wonder if you knew
that part of you was missing. I wondered where the other halves had gone.
- "Loose Threads", Sarah Kay
--
Theo does not push. Even when deep in his heart he just wants to call. Even when he’s dialed in her number so many times he’s memorized it. Theo sits alone in the bookshop reading like he did last fall, alone. Arthur doesn’t bother him about it.
He hears about the roadtrip from Arthur, in the form of an approved application for leave. He doesn’t chase. He doesn’t ask about her. It’s been weeks since they’ve last met, at this point. Sure, they’ve seen each other in hallways, down the streets sometimes but—nothing more. In between the exhibit, and Vincent, and going away, they hadn’t ever gone to their usual spot anymore. The Rooftop remains empty, uninhabited, and Theo imagines it haunted, with only the spirits of his past enthusiasm of going up there still left in that space.
He returns to his usuals. Vincent, the bookstore, their little home in campus. Like the past few months did not exist. Like she didn’t come barging into his life and went around turning it upside down. Like this, Theo can pretend nothing is wrong. That there are no arguments. That it’s just a misunderstanding that will disappear into thin air. That nothing happened at that Airbnb.
Theo, what if I told you I loved you?
He hears her voice over and over again, shouting in his head, an echo that never stops.
Did she mean it? Did she say that as a loose confession that didn’t need to carry its own weight? Was it a hypothetical that was only meant to lead Theo astray? It wouldn’t have changed a thing, he would have wanted to say, I will still push you away, I will still want you to go—
But he didn’t.
Because he couldn’t.
Because he knows if she told him then, that she loved him, he would have begged her to stay.
To come back.
But she didn’t, and that’s for the better, he thinks. Better like this.
She doesn’t deserve someone who will hold her back. She doesn’t deserve someone like him.
But just as he wonders about how time is a silly thing, how the universe once took its time bringing the two of them into a companionable friendship, how now the days pass by in such a blur he fears one day they’ll just breeze by and he will forget her—
She sends him a message.
[ 04:38 pm | coolest person on the planet ] 🔭?
He knows exactly what that means.
--
Whatever’s flowing in her veins now isn’t blood, just half exhaustion and half despair, the high tones of panic the only thing keeping her awake.
She thought that she’d be able to wait it out. That she would only need to buy herself some time for the nerves to go away, for her to be able to shrug this all off and let it go the same way Theo has—easily. She spent days running back and forth between the Administrative buildings and her department trying to get this paper signed and this request filled. Then when there was nothing to do, she spent afternoons reading books, forgetting to eat or get up until she just dozes off in her bed. She tried her best to let it pass.
But Dazai was right. She needed to talk to Theo. It really was the only way she could quiet her loud heart.
She knows what it is that is exhausting her, what is keeping her up at night unable to sleep, turning her phone on and off, hesitating, wondering, her mind running in laps, stepping on the same puddles, tripping on the same obstacles.
She knows what it is and she is ready to put this marathon to rest.
When she comes up to their usual spot at the Rooftop, it already feels like an unfamiliar place. They haven’t been there in weeks. She thought they’d never come up here ever again. She’s sitting on top of the outdoor table with a can of Diet Coke in her hand. She’s wearing the bright yellow dress.
(Like some sort of good luck charm.)
Her heart begins to pound once she hears the door open, but she urges herself to focus.
When he comes into her vision, she realizes Theo looks just the same as ever. Just the same old Theo she’d wrestled to be friends with last fall. His ocean blue eyes, the soft brown of his hair, that same inapproachable neutral face. His boyish features, his hands in his pockets, the sharpness of his gaze.
It’s still the same old Theo she got dared to say hi to, and something about that hurts.
“Fancy some company?” he asks, leaning against the ledge, eyeing her carefully.
She snorts. “Wouldn’t have called you up here otherwise.” Pointing at another can, she offers, “Fancy a drink? It was all that was left at the store.”
He teases: “Not alcohol today?”
She shakes her head. “Big day tomorrow.”
She wants to tell him but she doesn’t know if he even wants to know. It’s that kind of thing she still wants to tell him but long stopped feeling like she could. He takes the can she’s offered and opens it. The sound of the carbon fizzing fills the space between them.
It’s Theo that breaks the silence.
He takes a sip of his drink, and then, looking away from her, as if even looking at her hurts, he asks: “Why did you call me up here?”
(The truth is she hadn’t meant to. The truth is that Arthur had set this up for her the same way he did the very first time she talked to Theo. The truth is she wouldn’t have if Arthur hadn’t made her. The truth is she would have let it slide as she should have with her passing interest in Theo.
But she didn’t.
So when Arthur said “You owe me one, don’t you?”, she said, “Yes, I do.”
And when Arthur said “Then talk to Theo one more time,” she said: “I don’t know what good this will do.”
But she does anyway.)
She shrugs, never tearing her eyes away from the view below, as if knowing that once she turns to face him, she will lose all of the self-control she’d built up. He doesn’t need to know everything, anyway. “Dunno. Wanted company—quiet company. This is our spot, so I figured why not call you. You shouldn’t have come if you didn’t want to.”
“I want to,” he clarifies. He sounds hurt; as if her implying any otherwise was a personal offense. She can feel it, the hum of it. She has to grind her teeth against each other to make sure she doesn’t say anything she doesn’t mean to. “I’ll always want to spend time with you.”
She exhales a tiny puff of air, partly in disbelief. “O-kay, there’s no need for flattery.”
(Theo doesn’t do flattery and she knows that.)
The truth is that she doesn’t really know what she called Theo for. Or maybe she does have an idea, but she is smarter than that tiny version of herself that believed in that idea. She doesn’t want to keep her hopes up anymore.
So Instead of the dramatic conversation she had dreamt up for them to have, the big reveal, the collapse and the hug and the warmth and the undeniable pang of it all—they are quiet. Theo is quiet. Like he always is. When he is in his space, Theo doesn’t talk unless he is talked to.
She wishes he would initiate the conversation this time. Maybe if they tried again, they would get it right this time. If he would only ask her to talk, ask her what’s wrong, get her to admit the things she is too scared to admit, fearing what they mean, what they imply, what the consequences might be.
She begs him, in her mind.
But he doesn’t.
So she stops begging.
“I’m gonna miss this,” she says, instead. A whisper so tiny she isn’t entirely sure if she meant Theo to hear it.
“Which?”
“This, you know?” she tries to elaborate. “Hanging on the rooftop… looking down at the city below… we’ve made this sight quite a place.”
He chuckles. “Change your mind about it?”
She makes a face, but does not point it at him; still refusing to look him in the eye. “Hell no,” she says, venom in her voice. “I still want to go away. So badly.”
You will, the thought hangs over the both of them heavily, unsaid. You already will.
That shouldn’t be a bad thing at all. Not when it was the one thing she’s been so desperate to do for all her life. But what if he was right the first time—what if she doesn’t find what she is looking for out there? What if she has just all this time been tricking herself? What would it be like to crawl back here, defeated?
Would this place wait for her?
“Doesn’t mean I won’t miss it. You know that feeling?”
In her head, she knows Theo but also somehow she feels like she doesn’t. For a split second, she wonders: Does Theo find it easy to let go of things? When he decides to unwrap his hands around something, does it deem it something he no longer has any right to miss?
She doesn’t know these about Theo. But she knows she is asking: do you know what it’s like, to let go of something you know you will miss?
He stares at her side profile like it’s the last time he ever will, and says, “Yeah, I do.”
“It’s your fault,” she says, teasing in her tone, crossing and uncrossing her legs nervously. “We made this place special, and now it’s like this to me.
He hums. “Should I apologize?”
“Definitely.” She turns to look at him with a small smile, pointed gaze. “It was you that made it feel like home, you know?”
She’d practiced saying this a million times in the mirror, and while at first the word ‘home’ tasted weird, tasted different, not the kind she wanted to associate with this place, this town, this little dot on the map—eventually, she learns it’s right.
It makes Theo’s expression just the tiniest bit as well and—that makes it worth it.
She remembers the first time they went here—fall of the year before, a few days after the Halloween party. All of the now-green trees were in shades of bright red and orange, like they were on fire. They had a fight. And now look how far they’ve come from that.
Look how they’ve come full circle.
She remembers, then she shuts the memory away.
“Missing something is a tolerable feeling,” she says.
It’s tolerable. It’s better to miss something than to sit down in the pain refusing to let it go.
But Theo adds: “Only if you know it’s also longing for you too.”
She smiles, even if it’s painful. “You’re right.”
For a while, she is quiet. She sits there, wondering how long she should keep this going, how long they can keep this going, like the box of Schrodinger’s cat, unopened—as long as no one opens it, there is only peace in the unknown.
She doesn’t want the unknown anymore.
“Hey, Theo.”
“Hmm?”
There are a million things to be said clamoring their way up her throat.
Did you ever have feelings for me?
Did you ever return mine?
Is it okay if I’ve fallen in love with you?
Theo, what does it mean when you say—
For the first time since they’ve met today at the rooftop, she looks at him. Turns to him with the full force of her gaze, like she’s looking right through him, under his skin, like looking for something. 
Her voice is soft, like a baby bird’s.
“Will you miss me?”
Silence. A long, uninterrupted silence that she feels seep into her bones with every second that passes. When she’s about to say haha, never mind, he answers:
“Hmm, who knows.”
The words sink like lead in her stomach.
“…Oh.”
She hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but it slips out of her mouth anyway. Theo turns to gauge her reaction, but she quickly turns away from him, facing the city.
Maybe it is her fault for expecting anything more from Theo at that exact moment. She doesn’t remember quite when they started playing this little game between themselves but—the game has gone on so long she doesn’t know how to play it anymore. That she doesn’t want to play it anymore.
But there’s no quitting a game like this until there is a winner, until there is a loser.
Until victory is decided and loss hits like a steel clang of the guillotine.
She groans loudly, leaning backward onto her palms looking up at the sky. The sound makes Theo look at her, and the feeling of his gaze on her hurts. “You make this so hard,” she says, defeatedly.
“What—”
“I know I’ll miss you,” she says, interrupting him. She turns to face him, and the eye contact makes something ache inside of her, but she holds it. “I know a year isn’t a long time but it’s long enough to miss something, and I’ll miss you.”
When he smiles in response, she wonders if it’s a smile of pity. “Why are you so sure?”
“Because,” she says, simply. “Because. Because you made this place feel like home. Nothing’s ever done that before.” She bites her lower lip and finally looks away. “You made it… more than the things I hated about it, and that’s not a skill everyone has.”
That’s the most roundabout way she can think of to say I’ve fallen in love with you and it’s the best she can do.
Theo shifts from where he’s leaning on the ledge, and approaches her where she’s sitting at the table while he asks, “Is that why you called me up here? Is that what we came up here for you to tell me?”
“Maybe? I’m not—”
She feels his fingers urging her to turn to him, but then the next thing she knows there is only softness. She slides her eyes shut in surrender. Her one hand curls around the sleeve of his shirt as he kisses her; soft and slow and gentle, the way an apology would be like if it were something you could hold. His lips are slightly chapped where they meet hers and maybe he has the tiniest hint of stubble but she pushes herself into him anyway, kissing him back even with the fear that this is the first and the last time she’ll be able to give him her love, like this.
Putting all she can pour into the kiss.
And then it ends, almost too abruptly. He parts from her and she leans toward him almost on instinct. She holds herself together. Only looks up at him, her heart already in his hands.
“Take care out there.”
His hands already in his pocket, his eyes just the littlest bit remorseful, she wonders if this is some sort of karma from the universe. Teaching her: this is what it’s like, to be left behind. Theo gives her four words she will hang on to until the longing in her burns out.
She smiles at him and nods. “Mmhmm.”
He reaches out to ruffle her hair one last time before he turns his back on her, waving behind him as he leaves the rooftop without anything much to say. The warmth of his lips and the sound of who knows? the only things really settling in.
And it is only once he’s gone that her mind makes sense of it. The painful realization that no matter how much she tries to convince herself, some part of her will always be tied down here. A rock, sinking slowly down the abyss of an ocean of love for Theo.
--
She calls a cab bright and early at eight in the morning. Her flight is at eleven, and the airport is two hours away. She’s kept away all the belongings she isn’t bringing with her in a few rented lockers downstairs, and now she’s standing at the stairway in front of her small apartment complex with two suitcasesz by her side. It’s late summer, and the ginkgo tree across her building is still bright green, but she imagines what it will look like in the fall, a bright show of fan-shaped leaves coating the street yellow when they drop.
She doesn’t know what will happen from now on. She’s leaving behind unfinished seams and she’s sure she will come back to them frayed. And she is so afraid, but—
She’s headed in the direction she’s wanted, and if he doesn’t want to come with her, he will only get left behind.
--
The exhibit opens at ten, so at eight in the morning, Vincent and Theo are already at the gallery, cleaning up and preparing. The building had an event that ran until late the night before, so they couldn’t set up any earlier than the morning of. Vincent is hanging paintings onto the walls, careful of the hooks, consulting back and forth with the ordered list he and Theo had planned out with her what feels like a million years ago. Theo is carrying the tables into the buffet area, smoothing out the table cloths and thinking—what a shame it would be to eat her favorite meals, the ones he’d ordered in secret specifically because he knew she liked them, and how he’d have to avoid maybe most of the food to be served today, knowing that they’d probably leave a weird taste in his mouth.
His phone makes a little ding of a message entering and his heart falters for a moment, hoping for the best, expecting the worst; the way he takes it out of his pocket comically slow; like it was a ticking time bomb instead of a smartphone.
[ 08:17 am | Doyle ] You didn’t take her to the airport?
Without preamble or context.
It takes all of Theo to answer him with the truth.
[ 08:18 am ] She didn’t want me to.
--
She doesn’t expect him to be there, like the sort of thing that happens in TV dramas—the one left behind racing into the airport and ignoring all sorts of security protocol; rushing to the boarding gate through a barrier, just so that they’ll be seen by the one they love one last time before they leave forever. Well, she’s not leaving permanently, but a year is a murderer to a teetering not-relationship, and she doesn’t even know if they’re still friends at this point, so it’s pretty much the same. She doesn’t expect him to burst through the scanners and shout her name and tell her the three words she’s long wanted to hear out of his mouth, no matter how hard she denies it.
No, actually, she would have been okay with hearing even just I’ll miss you, a reassurance that departure is not the end of everything, but.
Who knows?
Instead, she does her best to not look back behind her when it’s her turn to stay in line to board the plane, facing just forwards as if turning her head would make her change her entire mind about this damn thing. When the scanner at the front pings after checking her passport, the lady handing her the boarding pass, it feels like shackles being cut off, she feels free.
And yet not so.
So on her walk to the plane, she takes her phone out and checks her messages one final time for any clue, any last mercy. But there is none. Only the group chat with her friends, Dazai, Isaac, and Arthur greeting her excitedly, crying emojis and “make sure to message us before takeoff!” and “make sure to message us upon landing!” and “send a selfie once you get to your new fancy dorm!”, the kind you’d love to hear from your friends, and—
The kind you’d love to hear from someone you loved.
And she couldn’t have admitted it then, clearer this time around, sitting at the rooftop of the physics building, the one place she feels she’s made specifically to be hers and Theo’s, but—she would have, had he said he would miss her. She would have, had he said she was anything more to him. And sure, maybe, it was “implied”, as Arthur liked to say, but she wasn’t any Sherlock Holmes to emotions, and how hard was it to say, anyway? Why would it have killed him to just be honest with her for once?
Was she asking him for too much?
No matter. She sends a selfie to the group chat once she’s finally on the plane, her carry-on under her seat, her seatbelt fastened, her head against the plane window.
[ 10:23 am ] See you all again soon, guys! 💖
--
There’s a throng of people. Of course there is—this is, after all, finally, the capstone project, the graduation exhibit of the College of Arts’ legend Vincent van Gogh, the one the entire community had been waiting on for a long time. Said legend gives a short, teary-eyed speech thanking everyone who’s been with him all this time that garners an adoring round of applause, but Theo…
Theo doesn’t hear anything.
Instead, he’s standing by the paintings, the ones Vincent had made out of photographs of her, trying to make sense of what’s happening. Where is she now? Is she on board the plane? How much did she tell Vincent—how much did she not tell him? And why? Why did she tell Vincent but not him? Why could she not have told him herself? Why did they have to play this mind game with each other?
Only an avalanche of whys as his eyes stare through the red of the fabric she’d held in his brother’s little studio nearly a year ago, long before they were friends. Long before they were anything at all.
When they were something like this, still.
Like strangers.
He doesn’t know it yet, but all of it is out of her court.
It’s all in Theo’s hands now.
And at the side of the gallery, looking out the floor-to-ceiling windows, Theo squints at the bright blue sky. He pretends not to be keeping an eye out for airplanes.
5 notes · View notes
anika-ann · 5 years ago
Text
The Line between Respectful and Stupid - Pt.3
How to Make Friends with a Superhero
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader       Word count: 2800
Warnings:  medical blood, swearing, mentions of nightmares, fluff
Summary: When things are a bit settled, one big question remains - or well, at least two, but one bugging the hell out of you; how are you supposed to face Steve now?
Tumblr media
Story Masterlist
Tumblr media
You woke up with a startle, a dull throb in your arm following you from your dream – an awful dream full of explosions and bullets. Taking a second, you came to conclusion it was the other was around – that the real deal of getting shot followed you to the dream and back. You ran your hand down your face tiredly, sitting up on the bed.
It was a huge bed. Unfairly comfortable. You were sure that if it weren’t for the pain, you wouldn’t wake up for a very long time, such action actually offensive the glorious piece of furniture.
But you did wake up. And you were still on a mission, so you needed to get off your ass. The man who was probably still in the next room motivated you enough to stand up and caused you to paint an unwitting smile on your face despite the shitty situation you were in.
Which was not silly at all.
You tried to fix your hair blindly as you walked to the living room, surprised to find it empty. There was no Steve, but there was Captain America’s shield leant onto a wall next to the fireplace, making you smirk. No matter what side of himself Steve had showed you, the man was sure attached to his toy.
To be fair, that ‘toy’ was a big part of the reason you were still alive, so you were definitely not about to call him out on it, let alone complain.
Making your way further to the cabin, you entered the kitchen connected with a dining room. Your smile widened automatically as you found Steve sitting at the table, laptop in front of himself, a cup of what you guessed was coffee right next to it. He immediately looked up from the screen when he acknowledged your presence and smiled right back at you.
“Morning. Feel better?” he asked, his eyes subtly roaming all over your figure, still dressed in the dirty bloody uniform.
Your appearance was in a stark contrast to his; he was dressed in a simple light t-shirt (that was not too tight around his muscles at all) and grey sweats and must have taken a shower, because there were no longer streaks of dirt on his face or anywhere else, no blood. He looked so disgustingly clean in comparison to you that you felt a pang of shame. Except he didn’t seem to mind, watching you with concern when you didn’t reply at instant.
“Yeah, much. Thank you,” you assured him, stepping into the room, forcing yourself to stop staring at him. It dawned to you had never checked him for injuries. The feeling of shame only throbbed with more intensity. “You?”
The blatant confusion on his face was almost funny. “Huh?”
“How are you? I was a bit tired and not thinking straight. I didn’t even ask if you had any injuries that I couldn’t see.”
Though you sure look just fine in this outfit of yours… or the uniform.
“I’m fine.” That’s what I thought. He seemed touched at your worry and slightly taken aback, flustered even. He gestured vaguely towards the kitchen units. “I dug up some canned soup if you’d like. You should probably eat something. And you know, liquids.”
You briefly followed his gaze, noticing a washed bowl and cooking pot on the rack next to the sink. Clearly, he had helped himself, so there was probably nothing wrong with you doing the same, even though your rank and his were very different. Judging by the uncomfortable clench of your stomach, it didn’t care for such things.
“Thank you. That’s very kind of-… is ‘kind-ass’ a word? I would put it on the list.”
Steve chuckled softly, raising a curious eyebrow as you made your way to the cooker.
“You remember that conversation? You seemed a bit out.”
“It’s fuzzy, but I do remember that… I’m sorry for putting my foot in my mouth,” you apologized, feeling a blush creeping up your neck and cheeks.
Steve had been very kind to you, treating you as if you were a friend and while he seemed to like to be treated the same way, thinking about it, you might have crossed a line. Blame it on the pain-meds. Speaking of pain-meds…
This time, Steve laughed, not bothering to hide his amusement at your practically drunken ass. Once again, you didn’t catch a single malicious note in that sound, because of course he wouldn’t laugh at you in a degrading way.
“Don’t be, it was refreshing. Don’t stop on my account. And I promise to keep that out of the mission report,” he assured you with a playful wink, making your face flush in crimson. You didn’t hold back either though.
“’Kay. Very kind of you, again. Should I keep that information out of my report? Do you have a reputation you’d like to maintain?”
“I leave that up to you. Now, food and liquids,” he ordered, letting a serious note in his voice for the first time.
“Yes, Sir. Can I get you anything?” you asked lamely, but his smile in return seemed genuine as he shook his head, gesturing toward his coffee as if he was saying he had all he needed.
“No, thank you. Actually, I’ve got something for you.” You looked at him curiously. “I left you some clothes in the bathroom, it’s Natasha’s, so it should be about your size.” Like Natasha Romanoff?! You gulped at the idea, ignoring the flutter in your stomach at Steve’s care once again. “And clean towel, supplies, hopefully all you need.”
You opened your mouth uselessly, only to close it again, which made Steve’s lips twitch. Good to know I’m funny…. You tried your best to charm a grateful smile, deciding that the shower was definitely number two, right after the food.
“Thank you, Steve. I really appreciate that. You’re sure— uhm, sure that Agent Romanoff won’t mind?”
The corners of his mouth rose higher. Oh great. “I’m sure she’ll live.”
Yeah. But if you don’t stop smirking and smiling like that, I might not. Captain.  
Tumblr media
You nestled in a chair with a bowl of soup in your hands, shamelessly savouring its heat in your palms. Steve gave you a brief smile over the screen before returning to the report he was writing.
You ate your food in silence, trying to pay attention to your doing instead of staring at Steve’s face. Needless to say, you weren’t doing a very good job and your commander caught your eyes few times, after which you always lowered your gaze to the bowl very quickly. He didn’t call you out on it though and you would actually swear he found it amusing if the crinkle in his irises was anything to go by.
You didn’t know how much time passed when he finished with a sigh, massaging the bridge of his nose – the gesture screamed ‘tired’. It occurred to you how much the mission’s outcome must have been lying or perhaps raging in his thoughts. With another pang of shame, you realized you were so tangled in your own little world that you almost forgot how you had got in here in the first place.
You cleared your throat awkwardly. “Any news?”
Steve’s hand dropped at instant and he charmed a professional smile for you. You didn’t like that. It didn’t reach his eyes and it was his close-off. You weren’t asking Captain America, you wanted to keep talking to Steve.
“Oh, the extraction team should be here in about eight hours.”
That caught you by surprise. You expected them to be faster. Then again, they had a lot of work… potentially. With the others…?
“Oh. Great. Thanks. Did they… do you have any information about the rest of the team?”
This time, Steve’s smile was more genuine, his shoulders slightly losing their tension.
“They caught four different signals. Hopefully some of the agents are in pairs as well.”
“Yeah…” you mused, thanking heavens you were stuck in pair with Steve of all people. “So what do we do in the meantime? I mean, besides hoping and changing the sheets, and scraping the couch clean, obviously.”
“Not much, I guess,” he replied and you couldn’t help but smile when he dropped his professional persona completely, opening up again. He gave you a pointed look. “And there are people to change the sheets too, you know? You can write a report if you want. You can have the laptop, I’m finished anyway—if- if you want to.”
He blurted the last part in a hurry as he must have seen the horrified expression on your face. Mission reports. You hated writing mission reports – well, missions you weren’t to, only trying out as a part of the training so far. Guess it was time to grow up and do it for real.
An unpleasant knot tightened your stomach at the idea of someone reading it after you – like someone potentially important, real – but you couldn’t help but feel excited about your first report as well. Though it would be very short, given how the mission went, i.e. very quickly to shit.
One glance at Steve told you he felt the same about it. He also seemed to be worn to a bone.
“Sounds like a good way of passing time – for me. About you… I hope I’m not overstepping… but you look like you could use at least a nap, Steve. I promise to be as quiet as a mouse…” He was looking at you with that strange look you had caught before, though not unkindly. You were totally overstepping, weren’t you? You needed to do something like—heh. “…and not to kill you in your sleep.”
Success! The corners of his lips twitched.
“Because that would look really bad, to be found in a safe house with a corpse, huh?”
“Corpse of Captain America no less,” you added, your mouth unwittingly curling up in a playful smile.
“With no defensive wounds.”
“High treason.”
“So cold-blooded.”
“If you weren’t so heavy I would just drag you to the shower, telling them you slipped, you know. But you’re all muscles, so I guess I wouldn’t handle that. So, no killing you in your sleep.”
That earned you a raised eyebrow and a chuckle. “Lucky me.”
“So… sleep? The sheets aren’t too bad, but I’ll change them for you… if you tell me where the fresh ones are stocked.”
His smile turned kind when he noticed your hesitation and he rose to his feet.
“I think I’ll handle. Thanks for holding the fort for a while.”
“Nah. What kind of an agent would leave their Captain sleep-deprived?” you joked and waved it off jovially, following his footsteps with your gaze.
“Not you, clearly.”
“What kind of a person would deny sleep to someone who needs it, especially when they were so amiable?”
You didn’t mean to say that part out loud, not wanting to admit that this was more of a friendly gesture than being a good inferior. You did though and Steve heard you; he gave you a gorgeous smile.
“Goodnight.”
You pretended that the way he whispered your name before leaving the room didn’t make you shiver.
Taking a shower was the best idea you had in the past few hours. Making coffee was the second best, starting the report was the third, the fourth being taking a new dose of painkillers.
You weren’t sure if checking on Steve was the fifth best, but it was what you did – for all you knew, he could have taken pain-meds too. And what kind of an agent would let their commander to suffocate in their sleep because of an overdose? Not you, that was for sure.
Not to mention that you would be in an awful lot of trouble if Captain America died on your watch, especially like that.
You sneaked into the bedroom as quietly as you could, terrified he would catch you lurking around him despite promising not to disturb him. It turned out that your worries were baseless; Steve was curled up on the bed on his side, tangled in the covers, not facing you, soundly asleep. As you observed his form, examining whether his chest was rising and falling regularly, you noticed another movement.
Shivering.
You blinked, taking several cautious steps closer, half-expecting him to jolt awake if the floor creaked under your feet or something. But nope. You managed to circle the bed, enough to see the distress displayed on the soldier’s face, his brows furrowed, mouth twisted in the exact opposite of the smile you remembered seeing earlier today. And yep, he was totally shivering as his fingers were tightly gripping the sheets.
Was he cold? Was he just having a nightmare? Reliving an ugly memory? Not that you would blame him with what he must have seen during his years as a soldier and an agent-- you could only wonder if it was all of these combined together. For all you knew, he could even remember some of his frozen time…
You shook your head at your stupid and useless thoughts and rather decided to take action. Reaching for the covers on the other side of the bed, you pulled them over him – biting your lip the whole time, your heart racing at the idea of him catching you.
Once again, a baseless worry; he was out cold (no pun intended) and when you got a little bolder, trying to muffle him in the covers so the draft wouldn’t steal the tiniest bit of warmth you suspected he needed to savour, he didn’t even flinch or whimper or anything.
Mission accomplished…. Except while the shivers were less visible under the pile of covers, his face was still twisted in a grimace.
Your brain decided to go full carrier-suicide mode, because there was only one way to let the nightmare go away. And you didn’t like it. You sighed, mentally preparing for— god knew what. A yell. A scolding. A firing. Everything and anything.
You touched his shoulder carefully, attempting to wake him up – preferably without getting punched in your face if he jolted awake.
He didn’t. To be honest, he seemed grounded by the touch. His lips, releasing a tiny whimper, parted. A shaky exhale escaped him. Unwittingly, you did the same, your heart aching in your chest with both compassion and relief.
Well, you’d be damned. Captain America – and no, that wasn’t right, he was more Steve Rogers than anyone else when interacting with you – was touch-starved in his sleep. Or maybe not necessarily touch-starved, but… clearly, the contact helped.
You kept your hand on place, pretending your heart wasn’t beating its way out of your ribcage, melting at the same time. Pretending that this wasn’t the most beautiful picture of a man you had seen in years and that it wasn’t doing things to you. That it didn’t move you and physically ached you not to lay next to him and-
Alright. Stop it right there. No cuddles.
Seeing that his breathing evened and his face relaxed, you gulped and raised your hand, forcing yourself to spin on your heels and head out before he could wake up and call you out on your boldness, even when driven by worries.
You froze in the doorway when he let out a distressed noise you didn’t quite identify.
Well, shit.
You closed the door again soundlessly and made your way back, finding his previously softened features in a frown again. You sighed. You had to wake him up. You were not happy with that any more than before, but hey, what else-
Or.
That’s a stupid idea.
Not if you don’t cuddle him.
Fine.
You mentally shushed the two voices in your head, sitting down on the floor beside the bed, your shoulder leaning onto the mattress in around Steve’s waist, you guessed – it was hard to tell with all the covers. With a shaky inhale, you reached for his shoulder again, your hand hesitantly slipping under the covers into their pleasant warmth.
Steve stirred at first – effectively giving you a heart attack –, but you could tell the tension of his muscles eased within a moment. You smiled despite yourself, not charmed by the peaceful expression on his handsome face in the slightest.
Right. Keep yourself telling that. And that you are not falling for the man who hides behind the mask of a hard-ass commander and the famous shield of his. Yeah, you’re great at lying to yourself, keep up the good work.
You barely held back a giggle when a cute and almost soundless snore escaped him.
Yeah. Cute. Right. You totally have this under control. Not falling for him at all.
Tumblr media
Part 4
Tumblr media
*throwing fluff around like confetti, grinning like a maniac* You get (plotless) fluff, and you get fluff and you get fluff as well!
Tags:
@mermaidxatxheart​
139 notes · View notes
just-some-random-blogger · 5 years ago
Text
Brown Leaves
EXO + NCT Kim Jongin (Kai) x Reader Characters: TwinBrother!Oh Sehun, Seo Johnny, Kim Jongin (Kai), Jung Jaehyun Summary: You count falling leaves while waiting for Jongin to arrive. He counts his steps on his way to you. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: University AU, fluff, slight angst, friend to lovers, jealousy, pining, bickering, arguments, etc.
A/N: i wrote this for my sister and its soft and a;shasd
Tumblr media
I make my way downstairs and scoff when I see my older brother and his best friend eating my cereal again. “Ya, it’s bad enough you make mom cook so much for you, but do you have to eat my cereal too!”
Sehun doesn’t even bother turning to me.
Johnny turn from my mother who was also eating with them, to me, “Hey, Mrs. Oh doesn’t mind cooking for us.”
“Yeah, but I do! You keep overworking my mother.”
“Wah, you’re so loud so early in the morning.” Sehun chides in, turning to me, “Go! Just go to your boyfriend. Really, I don’t know how he can stand you.”
Johnny chuckles and waves his fingers around, “She must have eaten his heart for breakfast. No wonder she’s so cranky.” The two share a laugh. I narrow my eyes at Sehun as he gets another bowl of MY cereal.
I roll my eyes and go to the table. I grab Sehun’s cereal bowl and eat from it. Once my mouth is full of cereal, my brother hisses at me. “Ya!”
My mother hisses this time and screams, “Ya! I can’t believe you two shared my womb once.”
Johnny sniggers.
Sehun tries to get the bowl from me and so I walk out and finish my cereal outside. I glare at him from the open door and leave my bowl there, “Bring this inside, twinnie!”
“Over my dead body!”
 I scoff and go on my way. I go to the station, ride my bus, and make my way to school. All the classes are the same. The next thing I know, I’m in the cafeteria, gazing at the window, counting the falling leaves from the tree outside.
Five,
Six,
Seven, eight, nine,
“Two hundred fifty-two,” a voice called behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw the face of my best friend. His lips were pouted downward slightly.
I tilt my head, “how did you know I was counting the leaves?”
“What?”
“I was counting the leaves til you came, Jongin,” I spoke, turning to him.
His lips break into a smile, “Really?” He sits down on the surface next to me and fix my posture. “Did you miss me that much?”
I huff at his teasing remark and try not to let it get to me, “You try waiting for as long as I did.”
 Jongin looks at me and chuckles. He lets out a breath and sprawls his arms out, resting them on the cafeteria table and his head on his arms, “I didn’t know.” He scoffs, “Even if I want to know what goes on in your pretty little head, I can’t.”
My pretty little head. It’s moments like this he makes heart flutter. I clear my throat. Jongin doesn’t notice. “I was counting my steps to you.”
I scoff and prop my head in my hand, looking down at him, “Miss me that much?”
“No… I was trying to decide on something.”
“Well,” I ask expectantly, “what did you decide?”
He sighs and straightens up, “Nothing. I’m not gonna do it.”
I knit my brows at him as he stands, “Let’s go get some lunch.”
“If you wanna do it, just do it, Jongin.” I offer as I stand next to him. He looks at me and purses his lips. He shrugs, “It’s not that simple.”
“It is if you make it, dummy.”
He rolls his eyes, “Yeah, well not everyone is as great you, princess.”
 Later that day, Jongin and I walked together on our way home.
I inhaled deeply; a smile broke into my lips at the mild scent of autumn. I looked to the sidewalk, covered in brown leaves. I hopped onto the crunchy ones and giggled.
Jongin watched beside me. I turned to him and shoved his arm, “You should try.”
“Pssh, unlike you, I am not a five-year-old.”
In the said manner, I stick my tongue out and jump around until I crash into Jongin. He gives me a fake look of distaste but breaks into a chuckle. I swear I hear him whisper “cute” under his breath.
I eventually lose interest and look around at the falling leaves.
Jongin sniffles and wipes his nose.
I remember a happenstance from earlier.
“Ya,” I smile cheekily and shove Jongin again. He gives me a look, “What?!”
I smirk, “a younger guy confessed to me today.”
Jongin gives me a blank look.
I grow smug and giddy. I jump around and go in front of him, “His name is Jung Jaehyun. He just started his course this year.”
Jongin’s walking halts and I purse my lips at him, “Wah, he gave me flowers and everything. I felt so pretty.”
He raises a brow and scoffs, turning away. He shoves his hands in his pockets, “So what?! Did you accept him, cradle robber?”
I pull my head back, “Ya! He’s not that much younger than I am! And why would I accept him in the first place when it’s the first time I’ve met him?”
Jongin doesn’t reply and storms forward. I follow after him and grit my teeth in annoyance.
 The rest of the walk is quiet. I glare at him by the time we reach our neighborhood, “Ya! Why are you so snippy today? I just told you about it because it boosted my confidence and all, plus, I don’t keep things from you!”
Jongin finally turns to me and snaps, “Wahh,” we both stop our walking, “you don’t keep things from me? Wahh, that’s why I had to learn from your twin that you were sick last week.”
“That’s different!” I groan.
“How is it different?!”
“Because I didn’t want to worry you!”
Jongin’s face falters slightly. He pulls away slightly as well.
I scowl at him, “you always make a fuss when I’m sick. It’s bothersome.”
Jongin makes an annoying sound. He grunts and pokes my head, “I take care of you once and now you think you’re so special.” With that he turns about and continues walking. I squeal in annoyance and follow again.
 “Fine. I won’t take care of you again,” Jongin chips.
I roll my eyes and sigh, “fine.”
Jongin turns to me but I don’t return the favor.
The only sound between us is the rustling of nature and the passing of the occasional other people.
Jongin turns to the sky and thinks about his decision from a while ago. He squints and gulps, “ya…”
“What?” I snap.
“You… you should go for him?”
“What—” I stomp my feet into a stop and look at the man, “crazy nonsense are you talking about this time?”
Jongin gives a pained look. He lets out a soft whine and turns to his feet. He scratches behind his ear and turns to me, “Jung Jaehyun. You should try liking him.”
I pull my head back and answer in surprise, “what?”
“You said he made you feel pretty. That’s… that’s good.”
“What the hell are you talking about, you moron.”
“YA! Isn’t this what you wanted to hear from me!?”
“No! I didn’t want to hear anything from you!”
“Then why did you tell me?!”
“Because you’re my best friend!” I say, clenching my fists. Jongin’s tension drops. His face falls. Best friend. He chuckles dryly, I guess it could be worse. It could be worst enemy.
Jongin kicks a leaf, but it doesn’t work.
I lick my lips and give a sour expression, “And besides… I like someone else.”
Jongin turns to me in concern. I turn away from his gaze.
 “Oh,” is all he could say. Oh, oh, oh, this Oh is driving me insane.
Jongin manages to give a chuckle. He looks around aimlessly, “For how long?”
“… since I got into university.”
He looks at me with solemn eyes, “I thought you told me everything.”
“Well, I’m telling you now.”
Jongin sighs. I fidget. I wait a moment before speaking again, “do you want to know who it is?”
He scoffs and glares at me, “Does it matter?”
I reel back, offended by his tone, “… it does.”
He shakes his head in disbelief and shrugs, “Sure, tell me who it is.”
 I clench my jaw. I examine his posture, and from the sound of his tone, he feels awfully angered by the idea of me liking anyone. Am I so unimportant to him that he can’t even care about that?
I feel tears prick in the corner of my eyes pathetically. I muster all my courage and airily speak, “you.”
Jongin’s face twitches.
“You, Kim Jongin.”
Jongin’s shoulders drop.
“I like you, from the moment we became friends.”
 When I make eye contact with him, I feel my chest grow heavy. I chuff and walk past him, not wanting him to see my face. I looked up so that no wronged tears fall down.
I step,
One,
Two,
Three,
“You absolute idiot,” Jongin calls from behind me.
I freeze in place and feel my heart clench. A tear finally rolls down my cheek.
“I like you too.”
My shoulders tense.
Jongin manages a smile and walks forward, “I’ve liked you for just as long.”
 Once he’s behind me, he places his hands in his pockets, debating on what to do next. “I decided earlier that if the number was odd, I’d tell you today, and if it was even, I wouldn’t.”
I sniffle and wipe my face before turning to him. “Only simple-minded fools decide with things like that.”
Jongin raises his brows at me, “Did you just cry?”
I growl and show him, “it’s because you’re a jerk!”
Jongin laughs as I fight him. By the time I’m done and storming away again, he hugs me from behind. He releases as sigh, “I’m sorry I’m not a brave as you. I should’ve confessed earlier.”
I sigh and relax in his touch. Many times, we have embraces, but it was the first time I felt like this is his arms.
I pull away and turn to him. He looks at me and offers a smile.
“… is this the part we kiss.”
Jongin’s face blushes, “do-do you want it to be.”
I look at his expression and laugh. I shake my head, “no way. Our first kiss has to be way special.”
 We continue walking again. But only this time, Jongin grabs my hand and walks nearer. When we arrive in front of my door step, I see the bowl from this morning is still there. I heave and whine, “YA OH SEHUN!”
Jongin chuckles at me and shakes his head, “why do I put up with you?”
I glare at him and scoff, “YA! You said you liked me.”
Support me on ko-fi
28 notes · View notes
peonybane · 5 years ago
Text
Agape and Pragma: Chapter 6
Tumblr media
Pairings: OT7 (BTS) x Reader
Word Count: 2.4 k
Genre: Hybrid AU, Fluff, Angst, Sci-Fi, Crack (?), Smut (eventually)
Chapter Specific Notes: Little bit of fluff, lots of angst.
Summary: Your entire world had be torn asunder by just one lab test. Time heals all wounds, but does it really? What will it take to feel whole again?
Hybrid Types: Peacock Jin, Serval Yoongi, Golden Retriever Hoseok, Gray Wolf Namjoon, Scottish Fold House Cat Jimin, Great Dane Taehyung, and French Lop Eared Rabbit Jungkook
a/n: So after the two massive chapters, 6 is going to be short as hell. TL;DR: I wrote it in one day and my best friend is currently helping me out, editing it. Chapter 6 is full of angst and therefore I would like to thank my best friend, @ropeseok for helping me edit this chapter. I wouldn’t have been able to write this chapter without her. Special guest appearance of Kai from EXO.
<— Previous (Chapter 5)
Tumblr media
As the stewardess did her spiel on what to do in an emergency, you couldn’t help but clench your fingers around the armrest of your chair. This business trip was much needed. You needed space from your roommates who were pushing you over the edge. They had been, quite frankly, fiends. Namjoon had progressively gotten worse. For instance, the moment you two were in public together, his hand would either go to the small of your back, or the back of your neck, stroking it possessively. Instead of feeling angry, like you know you should, you feel… at peace. And that’s the most upsetting part: you’re not bothered by any of their behavior, at least, not a baser, emotional level. Intellectually though, you’re utterly distraught by the changes.
After a week in another country to meet in person with one of your authors (they had invited you as partially a social thing since it had been far too long since you had last seen each other), you were finally heading home. As much as the seven of them had been annoying the snot out of you, you still missed them greatly. Their nightly calls (or early morning for them) were precious to you. Even half way across the world, you felt protected.
Except for right now. You normally weren’t bothered by plane rides, having to take several a year. But the flight in did a number on you. There was an unusual amount of turbulence. It was so bad that it ended up throwing a stewardess around the cabin at its suddenness. That had freaked you out more than you cared to admit. So here you were, clenching your armrests for dear life, your eyes screwed shut as you inhaled slowly, and exhaled even more slowly. 
As the plane lurched forward, you jumped slightly. Suddenly, a hand was grasping yours and you heard a soft… purring. Opening your eyes, you looked over at your row neighbor. You had only taken notice of him when you sat down, but otherwise had ignored him, too stressed to really take note of anything around you. 
Quite frankly, he was… beautiful. Angular jaw, long face, small nose, gentle eyes resting above a sweet smile and under a concerned brow. His hair was ashen colored towards his neck and it faded to black towards the top, which cushioned a set of black cat ears. You couldn’t help but blush and look down at his hand that was grasping yours. While his arm was pale, it faded to more tanned skin just above his wrist, similarly to a Siamese cat. 
You met his gaze once again. His voice was sweet. “You feeling a little better?”
Swallowing, you nodded, but didn’t remove your hand from his. It felt… it felt comforting. Just like how Yoongi or Jimin would grasp your hand out in public. “Thanks.”
He blushed a little. “First time flying?”
You didn’t answer for a minute as the plane began to ascend into the air. Once you had reached a nice cruising height, you answered him, “No, far from it. Just, the last time I flew, the stewardess got thrown around. It scared me more than I care to admit.”
He started to rub your knuckles with his thumb soothingly. “Fair enough. I’m Jongin, by the way.”
You smiled and gave him your name. “It’s nice to meet you, Jongin.”
“You know, I’m surprised. Most people pull away, especially women, when an unknown man, a Hybrid at that, grabs their hand.”
You let out a small chuckle. “Well, my roommates are all Hybrids. They’re all very touchy. Kinda know when I or the others need that contact. So, I don’t really mind. If anything I appreciate it.”
Jongin smiled. “How many is that? I don’t really smell any prominent Hybrid scents on you.”
You bit the inside of your mouth. Somehow, you felt guilty at the mention of lack of scent. “Seven. And I’m on my way home, actually.”
Much louder than he intended, Jongin almost yelled, “Seven!?”
The shushing and dirty looks made him shrink in on himself, heavily blushing. “S-Sorry.”
It took everything in you not to laugh. “Yes, seven. But it’s alright. Everything’s surprisingly… peaceful.” Not a lie… mostly.
“I can’t imagine. I have a group of eleven friends, well seven or eight that I see regularly, but that’s beside the point. There is no way we could even live as neighbors with each other without taking each others’ heads off.”
You giggled at this, which earned you a small smile from Jongin. “What about you? You heading home or going somewhere?”
“Home. Finally. Been traveling for months.”
Jongin told you about himself. And you, him. It was sweet. Relaxing. Distracting. You spent the rest of the flight like this, talking about your lives.
^~^~^~^~^ 
“You sure,” Jongin asked as he handed off his bag to his friend, Sehun.
You rolled your eyes. “Yes, Jongin. I’ll be fine. You’ve done more than enough distracting me on that flight.”
“But seriously, Sehun and I wouldn’t mind driving you home.”
“I know. But I’m sure you both are absolutely exhausted.”
“Alright. Fair enough. But, why aren’t your roommates here?”
Jongin looked around the pick up area, not seeing any Hybrids matching the description you gave him of them. “Jongin, it’s the middle of the night. On a weekday. And they all work. Like hell, I’m making them come pick me up.”
He looked at the ground, his hands stuffed in his pockets as his tail flicked, mumbling, “I’d pick you up, day or night.”
Your gaze on him softened just as your Uber pulled up to the curb. “Well, this is me.”
Your driver got out and helped you load your luggage into the trunk of his car. Before you could step into the vehicle, Jongin grabbed your arm. Looking over at him, startled, Jongin stared at you with heated eyes. “I— I don’t want this to be the last I see of you. I really, really like you. And… I’d like to take you out.”
Swallowing, you gnawed on your bottom lip. It struck you in that moment, as he looked at you with complete and utter earnest, did you realized that you had never dated a Hybrid before. Not entirely sure why, you just never really had anyone approach you. It had always been normal men. But they always left when they realized you could not bear them children, or they didn’t want to deal with your occasional nightmares, or your roommates. 
Maybe… maybe this was a chance. This was someone who couldn’t have children himself and didn’t expect you to bear them, this was someone who was truly sweet and understanding, this was someone who didn’t seem threatened by your roommates. 
“Yes.”
His eyes grew large in disbelief. Taking out your pen from your purse, you pulled his hand to you and wrote your number on his palm. You smiled shyly at him, before sitting down in your Uber. Just as you were to close the door, Jongin reached in and grabbed your hand, kissing your knuckles. You blushed brightly, prompting him to smile mischievously at you. He pulled away and closed the door. Your Uber got out of there like a bat out of hell, leaving you in near silence as you contemplated what you just did. And honestly, you didn’t regret it one bit.
^~^~^~^~^ 
After the Uber driver helped you get your stuff out of his car, you thanked him as he drove away. Dragging your suitcase behind you, you yawned, wanting nothing more than to leave your stuff in the foyer and trudge up to your room and pass out. You might not even make it there, electing to maybe settle for the couch. One of your roommates no doubt would carry you to your room at some point in the night when they’d find you.
You found yourself startled awake at the sound of yelling. Practically running to the house, you pulled out your keys, frantically trying to shove them into the lock.
Once you had the door unlocked, you rushed inside, abandoning your bags in the hallway and your keys in the door. You rushed towards the yelling. It was… Jin yelling. Like actually, yelling. Not the usual loud voice he used when he was responding to the others making fun of him. It wasn’t the usual frustrated rage. It was unadulterated, malicious rage. It terrified you.
“—The hell, Jungkook! How could you do this? It’s perverted! It’s wrong. We— You shouldn’t be hoarding her dirty underwear!”
The moment of anger at him for stealing your underwear quickly died at the sound of a scuffle, followed by more unintelligible yelling. The yelling was coming from the laundry room. As you entered the hallway, Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi were just… standing there. Jimin and Taehyung nowhere nearby. It took a moment, but you heard the faint sound Jimin yelling. You only assumed that Taehyung was with him to keep him from rushing in to try to diffuse the situation. That was the scuffling you had heard.
The sound of Jungkook’s voice broke you out of your shock. “What? Like you can talk. I’m the only one with the guts to actually take what we all want. At least I don’t shamelessly call her name in the bathroom when I don’t think anyone else can h—”
Jin let out a guttural noise. The sound of a fist colliding with flesh flew you into action. You rushed to force your way past Yoongi and Namjoon, but Namjoon, the bastard, must have known you were already here because he grabbed you around the waist, stopping you. 
“Namjoon! Let me fucking go! We need to stop them!”
“No, this is something they need to figure out themselves.”
You continued to thrash against Namjoon’s hold. Jin managed to dodge a hit from Jungkook then pinned him to the wall; you wiggled out of Namjoon’s grip during the brief distraction.
Everything seemed to slow down for you as soon as you were out of his grip. You dodged Hoseok and Yoongi as they grabbed for you, calling your name.
With strength you didn’t know you had, you grabbed Jin by the nape of his shirt, pulling him away from Jungkook. He turned to you, the beginning of a squawk rose in his throat before his gaze fell on you. His brow knit together, his gaze softened and his face flushed.
Jin called your name, reaching out to cup your cheek, stroking it with his thumb. “Sweetie… it’s nothing. Jungkook and I were just messing around. Nothing to get worked up over.”
For a moment, you believed him. But looking past him at Jungkook’s face, you knew that wasn’t true. Between the seething heat behind Jungkook’s eyes and the split lip, your anger flared up again. “Like hell it is, Jin! ‘Nothing’ is not hitting each other. ‘Nothing’ is not screaming at each other. ‘Nothing’ is not using me as an excuse to throw fists!”
Jin sighed and reached with his other hand to stroke your hair. “Sweetie—“
You smacked his hand away. His face immediately fell, brow knit together and lips pouting. “Don’t you ‘sweetie’ me. I don’t entirely understand what made you two fight, but I know it’s about me and I hate it! I hate seeing you two fight!”
Hoseok reached a hand out to you, his ears flush against his head. There was a hot acidic feeling rising up in your throat and you smacked his hand away, not done pouring your angry, exhausted heart out.
“All of you! Get out! Go to your rooms! I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, all of you!” Hot tears battled their way to your eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. “Is it something I’ve done? Am I causing you all to act like this? You’ve been weird to me! You’ve been a-aggressive to each other. I-I’ve had enough!”
Tears started to slide down your cheeks as you marched past them. Yoongi called your name and grabbed your arm. Immediately, you yanked out of his hold. “No! I-I don’t want want to be the reason you all are not yourselves.”
You raced up the stairs, tears falling freely. As you reached the top of the steps, Taehyung and Jimin stood there, having heard the commotion. They both muttered your name. Once again, you pushed past them. Taehyung bellowed your name. You shouted back, “No! Not now— I just— I need to be alone! I need to be away from all of you. I just— I don’t know anymore.”
You marched towards your room, Taehyung on your heels. As you slammed your door behind you, you heard Jimin call Taehyung’s name, telling him you needed time right now. He paused at your door, tempted to defy Jimin. You made the decision for him, locking your door. Taehyung sighed from the other side of the door before leaning against it, he whispered your name. “Please. Don’t be mad. We’d never do anything to hurt you. Things… things are changing right now, but it’ll be alright.”
As he walked away, you threw your weight against your door, sliding down it until you sat there, knees to your chest. A cry scratched its way out of your throat. You finally let loose, bawling into your knees. After a few minutes you were reduced to sniffles, letting your head rest against the door. 
You were too wired now to sleep, so instead, you settled for listening to your roommates, take themselves off to bed. It was amazing really. You knew who was walking where just based on the sound of their gait alone. You held a breath when you heard Namjoon’s footsteps stop at your door, paused for a moment, then reconsidered, making his way over to his room.
Breathing a sigh of relief, you wondered… was your relationship was even vaguely salvageable? After all, you had yelled at them and said such horrible things. Could they forgive you for your words? You knew some of them would forgive and forget easy, the others… you weren’t so sure. One thing was for sure, though: your relationship had changed.
It was a matter of figuring out now if it was for the better or not.
Tumblr media
As always, reviews, comments, asks, and tags are always loved! ~Peony
Also, please note that I do NOT do tagging lists. Please see my FAQ for why.
Next (Chapter 7) —>
Agape and Pragma Masterlist
Masterlist
All rights reserved. © Copyrighted 2019.
302 notes · View notes
aweebwrites · 5 years ago
Text
Move on Dragons Ch25
“How does one even embrace ghostliness?” Kai asked as he rested his cheek in his palm, swishing his tail high and low out of the twin’s reach while they darted after it.
“If it were me I’d just have some fun with it.” Jay shrugged from his place next to Kai, also keeping his tail out of reach from the twins, his with it’s pointy and low current holding horns being more dangerous than Kai’s.
“Jay’s been pretty spot on with most of these things surprisingly so I suggest giving that idea a go.” Zane says, ignoring Jay’s yell of ‘hey!’.
“How does one even have fun as a ghost?” Cole asked dryly, mimicking Kai’s posture but while floating inches off the deck of the Bounty. “I can’t feel, taste or smell.” He reminded them.
“Yeah but you can possess stuff, can’t you?” Nya asked and Cole paused at that.
“Yeah but what would I even possess? Then what do I even do once I do that?” He asked her.
“Pff. You’re thinking about this waaay too much!” Jay says as he hopped to his feet. “Tell you what! Why don’t you possess me?” He asked with a grin, startling everyone.
“Now hold on.” Tempest interrupted almost immediately. “There’s already two of us in here. Three’s a crowd.” He admonished.
“I was thinking the same thing.” Pixal had to agree.
“But that’s not a bad idea. Possessing objects is pretty boring, especially when there’s not much you can do in them aside from statues.” Tempest hummed with a sly grin in place. “So that’s why you should possess one of the dragons.” He says, gesturing to the group of 8 dragons watching them and they blinked, surprised.
“That’s an even worse idea. The dragons are not only large but are complicated in reference to their dimension versus ours.” Zane says with a frown.
“Actually, I’d like to know what it’s like.” All eyes turned to Morro. “I mean, I’m the smallest and in this world, I was a ghost. I just think I’d take it better. That and the idea of possession is intriguing.” He shrugged with his wings.
“I dunno…” Cole says hesitantly, looking to Wu for wisdom.
“I must admit, I too am intrigued. Morro is more adaptable than we are due to his time in the Cursed Plains so I have no worries that he will be able to handle something like possession. It’s a matter if you can achieve doing so however. Dragon souls are as large as our bodies. It won’t be an easy feat for you to take it over.” Wu warned him.
“That’s why he won’t be taking it over.” Tempest spoke up then turned to Cole. “What you’re gonna do is something like Jay and I have: a partnership. Once you enter Morro’s body, you won’t fight for control of his body, you’ll let him give you control. It can be partial or full control since it’s his body. He’ll decide.” He shrugged.
“Says you but you barely give me any control when you take over.” Jay huffed, crossing his arms.
“I’m giving you control right now aren’t I?” Tempest countered, arching a brow and the team looked on in amazement, confusion and a lot of trepidation as the two began bickering back and forth.
They never witnessed them both having an out loud conversation before and it was kinda weird in a creepy way. Their expressions change with a drop of a pin… But it made it clear how different they were. Jay’s voice was higher and his posture was high strung while Tempest’s voice was lower by an octave or so and his posture is always relaxed, even while being clearly annoyed with Jay. Cole pried his eyes off of the two (one?) they looked to Morro.
“You sure? I can’t promise it’ll be pleasant…” He warned.
“I’m sure.” Morro nodded then sat straighter, his tail whipping back and forth. “Wouldn’t you like to know what it’s like using wind?” He countered and well.
He got him there.
“... Alright.” Cole sighed then floated up before the wind dragon. “But if you want me to leave, just say the word.” He told him and Morro huffed through his nose but nodded.
Cole took an unneeded breath before he floated forward, disappearing in Morro’s large chest. Everyone watched in silence, breaths held as they waited for something to happen. Then, a low, eerie, misty green glow settled over Morro.
“Woah… What a view…” That was clearly Cole’s voice.
“Holy heck it worked!” Wisp gasped.
“You in there Morro?” Lloydie asked a bit nervously, glancing over his smaller cousin.
“Yeah.” Morro answered. “It’s not unpleasant. It’s as if he’s right over my wing to be honest.” He explained, lifting a paw and squeezing it into a ball.
“I do feel suddenly stronger however.” He added.
“That’s the power of earth for you. I guess you can both use each other’s powers now.” Rocky hummed, walking around Morro. “You do feel like an earth dragon now after all…” He murmured.
“Could I use your powers?” Morro asked aloud and seemed to have gotten a response unheard by them since he turned to Rocky with a nod.
“Then come with. Let’s see how strong you guys really are.” He taunted as he turned away before taking air.
Morro huffed through his nose at the challenge as they spread their wings- only to pause.
“You guys are coming, right?” They asked, glancing back at the ninja on deck.
“As if we’d miss this!” Was Kai’s immediate response before he hopped off deck and shifted to his larger dragon form. “Let’s go guys!” He called after the others, scooping up both twins in his paws before he took air.
“You heard the man!” Jay grinned, unfurling his wings from his back before taking to the sky, his friends following one by one with Pixal this time using a jetpack she put together as her means of transport.
Rocky lead them all to a clearing not too far away near the edge of the forest, turning towards them and watching as they landed.
“Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got.” Rocky huffed, standing straighter and the duo pondered their next move as the others settled at a safe distance away.
‘I’m not big on Dragon customs. Does he expect us to fight him?’ Cole asked.
‘No. He expects us to show us our strongest move. We have no need to fight as adults. A show in power is more than enough.’ Morro told him and Cole thinks he could get behind that.
‘Alright. Then let's see what we can do. How does your wind work?’ Cole asked him.
‘Like this.’ Morro demonstrated by shifting his position to a firmer stance, a gust of wind pouring off his body as he did.
Cole got the feel of it however. It was more free than earth was so he thinks he could make this work.
‘I have an idea…’ Cole hummed and Morro relinquished more control to him.
Rocky could tell the moment they decided when the look in their bi-coloured green eyes changed. They flexed their wings before rearing up on their hind legs with a roar, dropping down again with force, creating a widening fissure in the ground starting from just before them. More dangerously, gale force winds were sucking anything within reach down into its depths. Rocky dug his claws in the ground to not get sucked in, letting himself become as immovable as the earth he commanded.
“That’s a pretty powerful mix.” Rocky commends and they brought the winds to a stop, the fissure moving towards him stopping.
He knew they could do something like this on a much larger scale and it would be devastated in the wrong paws. But looking at how excited they were to have used each other's powers, small dust devils popping up around them as they did, he knew they were in the right ones.
“That was so cool!” Jay whooped loudly.
“Most impressive!” Zane too commended, the ninja and dragons alike praising them and the duo felt bashful under their praises.
“Me next! Let’s test it out!” Blaze says trotting forward as the two separated.
“You sure?” Cole asked with a lopsided grin, actually having fun with this.
“Yeah! Let’s do this!” Blaze nods as Morro headed to where the others were- spotting Lloyd a bit behind the rest.
He bypassed his supervising father to lay next to him.
“Bad memories?” Morro asked in a low rumble, the others too distracted by Cole possessing Blaze.
He knew all about Lloyd’s time being possessed, as he as curious about the version of himself from this world and had asked him about it.
“Yeah.” Lloyd didn’t bother to deny, fiddling with his claws. “I know being possessed by Cole is different from what I went through… But it brings back those memories and…” He gripped his arm tightly as he gritted his teeth.
“It’s been years… You think I’d be over it by now…” Lloyd whispered to himself but Morro caught it.
He watched him before he looked back to the others watching as Blaze and Cole conjured lava.
“Trauma is never something you ‘should be over’.” Morro murmured low. “It impacted you enough to leave a lasting impression. It’s like a wound. It may heal but if it’s deep enough, it’ll leave a scar. And even if it doesn’t leave a scar, it sometimes leaves a memory. That memory, that scar may fade out with time. Sometimes while it does fade, it doesn’t disappear and that’s ok too. The point is, these things take time. You will recover, that’s certain, but in your own time and in your own way. The memory, the impression may always be there but you will heal. Even if it takes ten thousand days. Even if it takes an eternity. It’ll happen. And you? You’re not healed yet but that’s ok. Good medicine is friends and family though.” He hummed and Lloyd blinked, looking up at him a little surprised at his words.
“I know a little something about trauma myself. We all do. It differs for each dragon, for each person but we’ve all had a taste at some point.” Morro continued then gave a huff, putting on a dragon’s equivalent of a smile on. “And well, I’m still healing too. Faster thanks to that medicine.” He told Lloyd, his tail flicking back and forth.
“But if it’s too much for you, it’s alright to say so and to ask for some space, to take a moment for yourself.” He turned his attention back to Lloyd. “If you’d like, we could take a quick flight. The sea looks nice from above at this time…” He suggests and Lloyd paused to ponder, glancing back at the others who were watching as Blaze and Cole filled the fissure three quarters of the way up.
“Yeah. That sounds good.” Lloyd nodded as he got up and Morro gestured to his back with his head, letting Lloyd climb on before he took off.
Wu watched him go, having overheard their conversation. He turned back to where Cole had separated himself from Blaze, the latter still excited from the experience if the flames coating his body wasn’t enough evidence. Mist tapped in next, letting Cole possess her too. Morro has grown a lot over the past few years. He was almost nothing like the small wind dragon he found scrounging off the scraps of the other dragon’s meals in the southern mountains. The last of his kind. He was glad he had come this far as a dragon, even if the journey here was one he would never wish on him, or on any dragon. He was growing up, becoming a fully fledged adult right before his eyes. For the longest time, he feared he missed his chance to see it, had feared his mistakes as a father had sent his only son to his demise.
He had spent many years looking for him, had searched high and low. He had spent so many days around the Spirit Mist, his brother had dragged him out of the room in fear he may get ill. Had it not been for a sleep vision not even bestowed on him, but on his brother, he would have never checked the Cursed Plains in time and he would have lost him. Wu forced his tense muscles at the memory to relax. He supposes this was his wound. Not yet healed… But getting there. He watched as together, Cole and Mist filled the rest of the fissure with mud, the others debating on who gets to go next, the Ninja laughing with merriment, even as they ‘accidentally’ splashed a bit of mud their way and watched as the twins who didn’t understand what was going on but were just as excited as everyone else. A pleased rumble left his chest. He was right as well. Friends and family was indeed a great medicine.
_________________________
(An on time post!! I'm really buckling down on this as you can probably tell. There's two more chapters on Cole's arc then we start the last arc and wrapping things up. The problem with ending a fic this long is worrying if you've missed something out in the wrap up but I'm sure I've got everything covered. I'll be uploading the chapters as soon as I finish em so if I finish them earlier than normal then I'll post em same time. Chapters after Cole's arc will most likely be longer! Thanks for sticking around!)
5 notes · View notes