#I feel like Collin would be the one most uncomfortable with the concept of two way hotter and younger lovers

[seeminglyseph]

……. I feel like I’m about to go watch A Crown of Candy so I cand get better context on a Ravening War rewatch.

I feel like. I have had to like. Fully take this time to recover from The Ravening War.

Like at all times I am in some small way thinking about Karna.

I’m working on my diet and getting healthier to spite the people who don’t know the value of the food on their plate, girl. I love you. I wish you could’ve had a chance to heal but at the least I hope the state of puréed and moulded is a peaceful afterlife.

[deanwasalwaysbi]

I've gotta say, I find the concept of Bedlund trying to Ben-Hur Jensen absolutely hysterical. I'm just imagining Jensen getting a script and being like "Ben?? What's this? Is this gay? This seems gay????" and Ben just soothing him like a frightened horse.

Hahaha - Look it wouldn't be the first time. What is this verb we're working with? Okay. Strap in everyone. The Multi-Oscar-winning 1959 movie 'Ben Hur' had a bunch of gay subtext. The writer, the director, and the second lead actor all knew that Charlton Heston's character, Ben Hur, was gay. However, one person didn't find out until the 1990s: Charlton Heston. The consensus on set was "Don’t tell Charlton, because he’ll freak out." and when Heston found out in the ninties, freak out was exactly what he did. (x) [the movie may have gotten a reference from Misha back in season 6 (x)]

Whether this happened with Jensen on SPN depends on two things.

Was the character of Dean intentionally written as Bi and, if so, at what point did that become true?

Did anyone tell Jensen? Did he figure it out? if so, when?

I personally DO believe at this point, I really do, that Bedlund - Ben Hur'd Jensen. I think it was part of the writers room but not all of it, until it was. (Which RN I believe finally happened under Dabb.) I think Jensen wasn't in on it, until he was. So for me? I think he really was in the dark at one point. But at what point that changed? Probably only he can answer that question. and RN? He ain't talking.

In the meantime we can only look at things Jensen has said on the subject - Like this unbearably ambiguous GIF set from @nikadd. Was this tongue in cheek? Legitimate ignorance? You're killing me, Jensen. That cheeky lil smile, Jensen. Nvm - I'm going to kill you instead. It's for my own survival. No hard feelings right? You understand.

UH OH HERE COMES A CUT TO HIDE A LONG DERANGED POST...

We can look at the text for number 1 - and I do that uh - a lot - see the blog name #Dean Was Always Bi

For number 2 we can look over some points when we got clues from what Jensen thought was going on [regardless of whether they make sense based on his jacting or directorial choices I guess] and get left wondering whether at any point he felt pressured to lie for his career, for self protection, or to protect the narrative from the network: 

2010 - 'We're missing the gay angel' (x) (Season 5 gag reel) (x) “Sorry man, not what the show’s about.” Jared: One of the good and bads about playing the straight [non-comedic] character on the show… Jensen: What wait? I’ve been playing him so wrong

2012 / S8 - Trenchcoat - Jensen talking about how sometimes they change the lines because they're way too gay. Calls Cas a third brother

2012 - "What's Destiel?" Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

“Don’t ruin it for everyone now” “I still don’t know what the question was. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was.”

2013 @ JIB, re Dean’s reaction to Aaron’s flirting in the season 8 episode Everybody Hates Hitler,  (x)

“And the scene wasn’t written to be that kind of - I mean - It was written to be awkward.  Ben Edlund wrote the - my favorite line in that scene was ‘carry on . citizen’ that was - I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face I was laughing so hard.  But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or  or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

The thing is - Bedlund and Phil Sgriccia made very clear on the commentary track that THEY saw this scene as a 'romantic comedy kind of fluster' "This potential for love in all places."

Ben Edlund calling the writer’s room a boy’s club in 2013 (x)

Misha Collins telling Destiel fans they aren’t Crazy in 2013 after some executives said they were (x).

2014 Jensen says he was glad there wasn’t much Dean and Cas in season 9  - HA Hah HAH (x)

“I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand”  “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” REMINDER - that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and “play him like a jilted lover” and the “he dumped me James” cut and -

I certainly know that Misha and I don’t play that. SIGH. they Ben Hur'd Jensen.

2014 - the fan fiction joke - 10.05

“I didn’t have a positive reaction, The first time in I think 200 scripts I went and sat down in the showrunners office and said, ‘What in god’s name are you doing?! Why? I need to understand why this is happening.’” “[Carver] gave very eloquent answers and did a great job of explaining why we were doing what we were doing, I guess I had been aware of this ‘fan fiction’ for a while and I felt like maybe if I ignored it, it would eventually go away. When I read it in the script that is what I do for a living and is my work—I’m very protective of these characters and the story and I think we have a right to be—I wasn’t angry. I just wanted to understand why and what was the message we were ultimately sending with this script and story. By the end of it, I felt good and it gave me all the confidence I needed. It was better than I could have ever hoped.”

But then there's Jensen in 2015 talking about all of Dean’s bromances. (x)  [gifs at the top] Could go either way - starting to figure it out? or No?

What had changed if anything? the entire Crowely season 10 story line?  This was July 2015 - the same day as the SDCC 2015 panel where Misha talked about Destiel   (x @ 13) Carver and Dabb were there - 

By this time Jensen and Misha were nominated for a teen choice award for best chemistry against various tv couples (and one ensemble cast, but the award nomination did NOT include Jared) .... Misha and Jensen would go on to WIN this award one month after the panel.

At the Panel Rob and Rich ask the question: “You two have branded yourselves as TV’s greatest team since, ... idk who.... Ernie and Bert so.”  [Misha says to Jensen & Jared, half not on the microphone: “I really didn’t expect them to throw us under the bus.”] “are we going to see that continue? Is the Castiel Dean relationship still aflutter and still growing as we move into season 11?”  Jeremy Carver: “Ish.” [mocking from panel ensues] “Yes. Of course. I mean Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s no doubt.”

Jensen Directs 11x03 and the choreo mimics Goodbye stranger (x)

2016 - Jensen: Dean could have a huntress, but you’d kill her.

Jan 2017 Con the infamous - no hedge - harsh - “Destiel doesn’t exist.” (x)

I would hope that if he knew he wouldn’t have been so harsh with it.  So by that point either he still didn’t know - OR - to him ‘Destiel’ was specifically about internet porn/sex and not like - the potential for feelings / a relationship.  It makes me think about something Misha had actually said, around 2013, “It’s called ‘Destiel’ and it’s about the romantic interludes between Dean and Castiel.” (x)

2017 - jib8 Jensen called Dean a lover of the ladies

May 2017 - After filming the end of season 12:

2018 - Misha confirms he and Jensen have talked about Destiel (x) - also 2018: The Bisexual Dean essay "? No." (Oh god was this really this recent?! I can't deal with this.)

Well. SOMETHING happened in 2019. cuz here it comes

2019 - "Dean has no taste, clearly." 2019 - 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you're most excited to tackle with your character this final season.' "Cas. Just like a full football form tackle."

Look at this face he gave Dean when Cas told him he loved him and tell me he wasn't playing into it here. You can't. (x)

[poes-and-things]

So after seeing a screen cap of Katniss and Peeta doing recon on the other tributes in Catching Fire with the caption “power couple”, I watched both Hunger Games and Catching Fire last night.

My opinions have changed a lot about this series over the years.  Probably due to the fact that I only read the books once.  To put in perspective: the first book was really good.  I absolutely loved it.  The concept was dark and interesting and 11 year old me was enthralled.  I remember reading Catching Fire in a day.  I didn’t leave my room that Sunday.  My parents thought I died.  The only other book I did that with that year was Life As We Know It (another apocalyptic book series that I highly recommend).  I hated the last book.

When the movies came out, my best friend dragged me to see them.  After reading Mockingjay, I wasn’t really excited to see any of those books on the big screen.  But I went and had mixed feelings.

Years later, I’ve rewatched them a couple times and I think back in April of 2020 I finally watched the 2nd part of Mockingjay.  Again, I have a lot of thoughts about this series, both in the books and on the big screen.  Here are the ones from last night.

First of all, Liam Hemsworth is a carbon copy of Chris Hemsworth and that’s really starting to bother me.  If I were to close my eyes, I wouldn’t be able to tell you who is who based solely on the sound of their voice.  It’s laughable to me that the MCU casting directors ditched one brother for literally a carbon copy; they do realize what they did, right?  Anyway, I think the only reason I liked Gale in the films when they first came out 9 years ago (how fucking old am I) was because I was obsessed with Chris Hemsworth, as every 14 year old straight white girl was.  Honestly, I think they could’ve cast someone better in that role.

Second.  In the books, I got real fucking frustrated with this Peeta vs Gale attention.  I remember reading Catching Fire and thinking “I don’t fucking CARE just fix the damn government”--this was something that was solved in the films.  During Catching Fire, we watch as the boys realize it’s not about romance because the world they live in doesn’t really allow them to have that, but it’s more about who gives you the strength to keep going.  And Peeta is that for Katniss, never Gale.

I love the twist that Suzanne Collins did with this relationship dynamic, making Peeta fucking useless and adorable while Katniss is a dangerous, sarcastic, snippy asshole.  I can’t stop laughing at how much Peeta reminds me of Marie from Aristocats constantly needing to be saved by others.  At least in Catching Fire.

In Hunger Games, the forced romance between Katniss and Peeta is incredibly uncomfortable.  JLaw did an amazing job making it come off as a cognizant and intentional choice to “fall in love with Peeta” versus something that Katniss actually felt.  This was something I didn’t pick up on at the movie theater when I was 14/15 years old.  Which makes the relationship she and Peeta build together in Catching Fire that much more pure and unique because that no longer was a cognizant choice for survival, it was a necessary choice.  And it happens when the “survival” definition changes as well--we go from physical survival in an arena of death to an emotional survival of tackling PTSD demons and threats from powerful regimes.

Sam Clafflin brought so much life to Finnick O’Dair that I actually cared about this character.  In the books, he was just a blip on my radar until the moment when he broadcasted Capitol secrets during the sting op to rescue Peeta.  But in the films, I would die for Finnick.  He deserved so much better.  So did Annie.

The costume and makeup department doesn’t get enough credit.  JLaw and Hutchinson literally look like children in the first movie.  It’s insane what makeup, lighting, and the right outfit can do to visibly change age perception.  I do think that the change in the second film is a little too much too quick, though.  It’s only meant to be like 6 months to a year after the first film.  In my experience, most kids don’t look 23 after a year of puberty.  It takes at least two or three years to get to that age point.

What else?  I feel like there was something else...

Oh.  Negotiation tactics.  Be like Katniss Everdeen.  Know what things you HAVE to have in life and fight like hell to get them.  In movie/book one, it was protect the sister and survive.  Accomplished, check.  In movie/book two, it was protect and save Peeta.  Only agree to things if it keeps Peeta alive.  All of her decisions are about and for him.  Granted, it didn’t fully work out in her favor, but she got everyone to drop everything in the next book/movie to rectify the situation.  A plus to Katniss Everdeen for sticking to her guns.  And she’s only 16 or 17 years old in these books.  If she can do it, you can do it.

Anyway.  This was a long post.  I might watch the other two films tonight.  Who knows.  Sometimes you just want to watch anxious teens murder each other for sport.  Especially when you don’t want to face your own emotions.

[slasherkisss]

Best Friends Are For [Carrie White/Reader]

[A commission for @space-and-sea​, featuring a platonic relationship between Carrie White and the reader! This was such a fun, cathartic one to write for me since I relate so much to Carrie ;w; If you’re interested in a commission please DM me!]

---

To say that Carrie White had a hard life was a little bit of an understatement, that was certain.

Carrie would have preferred the concept that her life was a little bit of a Hell, had her momma not beaten her for even considering such foul language in her home. Life wasn’t Hell, she would scold her through the door of her closet as she clawed at the wood of the overly-confining space, and she should pray that it never would be! She should repent those words so that God might not take her up on that statement and truly send her to hell in order to make her regret every sinning in such a manner. So, Carrie often did not refer to her life as Hell. Rather she decided it was… hard. As little justice as that word did for her emotions at any given moment, it was enough to satiate the general pain of loneliness and annoyance that bubbled up under the base of her skin like salt on a slug. It was a sort of sting that she had grown used to though.

How sad was it, she couldn’t help but think, that she had grown used to it?

She thought on her life for only a few moments before the echo of her teacher’s word finally reached her ears. They once sounded drowned out, hidden behind a wall of water like she was inside of a fish tank, distorted and cold against the sun that shimmered through the classroom from the windows. Now she could hear it more clear, though, and behind the long locks of mousy hair, Carrie could only feel a sense of dread at the words that were spoken forward with mock sincerity towards the group of students before her.

“Alright class! For this next project, I’ll be assigning you to work in pairs! So please choose your partner quick as you can and then we’ll go over the details of the assignment.”

That was all it took. That was the whirlwind starting noise that pushed all of the bustling bodies forward. Carrie winced and cringed in her seat at the force of the students around her as they scrambled to find their friends, fingertips linked with laughs as girls located their best friend. Huffing tones of jocks arguing over the nerd of the class as they tried to be his partner for an easy A. The nerd looking semi-irritated but mostly uncomfortable as he was pushed around like a rag doll between basketball and football players the entire length of the choosing process, only to be bid like a horse to the captain of the lacrosse team who offered ten bucks and not to let him get beat up every day after lunch. She simply observed each movement with curious eyes, never making her own move to get up. To find someone new or old to pair up with.

Why would she? She knew what they thought of her. Sitting and staying quiet was bette than risking the humiliation of their laughs and ‘hell nos’ in front of other classmates.

Well, that was what she thought anyways.

Carrie blinked in surprise at the form that obfuscated her desk from the front and looked upwards at the face of the body. E/C eyes watched her with curiosity, a tilt of their head brushing hair along the back of their neck as they smiled politely, the curve of their mouth neat against their face. Carrie blushed at their closeness, her back hitting the very edge of her chair as she leaned away in surprise, eyes wide with shock.

You had seen her sitting alone, as she always seemed to do for most of her classes, and your heart was curious. Though a new student, having just transferred from a city miles away with no real important name, you weren’t unaware of the bias that seemed to surround the poor girl. The way people laughed and teased at her with mocking eyes and annoyed furrows of brows made your heart fill with rage as they all but bullied her into some form of quiet submission. That wouldn’t do, you decided as the group project was announced and you spent your time watching her carefully as students ran around and over her as though she were invisible, and you wanted to see if you could change that.

Not out of pity, of course, who wanted a friendship built out of pity? No, yours was curiosity. Yours was genuine interest.

Yours was determination.

“Hi,” You greeted with your best smile as you moved back slightly, aware of her shift in discomfort as she watched you with doe-like eyes, “I’m Y/N. New student here… You’re… ?”

“Oh… Carrie White.” She managed out, her voice so soft you had to strain your ears against the loud mocking noises of the students around the two of you. Still, she offered you her name. That was progress if you had ever seen it, you decided, and your smile grew more genuine as you reached out your hand with polite intent.

“Well,  Carrie White,” You hummed in general greeting, “I need a partner for this assignment. You want to be mine?”

The phrase came out a little strange, more like a confession than an actual request for a simple school project partnership. It wasn’t lost on Carrie as her face, pale behind that long hair of hers, turned red at her cheeks as she watched your fingertips with baffled confusion. You wanted to be her partner? Willingly? She wondered if the teacher had put you up to this for a moment. She could imagine him giving a pleading look and begging you gently in the back of his lips with a whisper to just take pity on her and pair up with her, so that she wouldn’t feel bad about having to work alone or be pushed out of a group, even if it was just two people. It was enough to bring a sense of annoyance to her stomach. Of anger as she let her brows furrow at your hand before looking back up at your face.

Her gaze softened when she saw your genuine smile hold itself with patience against your lips as you waited for her answer, never pressuring her to give it right away as you stood there with that same soft look on your face.

Were you really being serious?

Taking a breath, Carrie reached out and took your hand in hers with a weak willed shake of it. And, for a brief moment, she dared to smile.

“Um, yes, I’d like that a lot.”

That was all the two of you needed to seal your friendship, the pact made in the work of a class rather than blood or tears like any other pact might be made.

Carrie was a sweet girl, her interests limited but bright as she talked about them with you between studious notes written in the sides of books as the two of you researched for your projects. The discussions in the libraries often led to fits of giggles that would make the librarian snap at the two of you with a fierce ‘shush’, which in turn only made you stifle more giggles together as you tried (and usually failed) to focus back on work. It was the most well you had ever worked with someone, you realized in awe as the assignment both of you handed in garnered a beautiful ‘A’ circled on the researched front page.

Both you and Carrie could only look at one another with a mixture of awe and pride as you gazed up at your teacher, whose smile only indicated that he was pleased at how well the both of you had got on together during your work. The pride in your heart matched with the pride you had over your new friend. Over the effort she had put into the research and into knowing you so that the both of you would operate with perfect unison alongside one another. So neither of you would be left in the dust because, well, that simply wasn’t what friends did to one another. As you gazed at Carrie, who stared all but adoringly back at you, you couldn’t help but continue the smile that warmed your lips.

“We make a great team.”

A team you did make with her. One that lasted the entirety of the school year as the both of you spent time alongside one another. Her bullies were pushed away as you slid to her side, taking whatever crap they gave you and flinging it back at their own faces when they threatened to sneer at her. When one snarked at you, you would simply return the comment with a haughty tone and a biting look that threatened, no, DARED them to try something with you. The one who really did try in the middle of the year regretted it and, though you were sent to a week of detention after class, the slight bruise to your cheek and the bloody nose you got for defending Carrie was all but worth it despite her constant protests.

“You don’t have to stick up for me like that,” Carrie would whimper as she touched your sore face, “I can’t stand to see you hurt… Because of me, Y/N.”

To it, of course, you only smiled at her and pulled her into a hug.

“And miss a chance to tell those assholes what for? Trust me, I enjoy it.” So when you saw her running out of the lockers one day, her body shaking and refusing to look you in the eyes as she was escorted by one of the teachers amongst a chaos of laughter and yells, you knew something horrible had likely happened. Heads popped out after her to watch her form scurry away, their smiles fading only when they noticed you before them. Your fists were clenched and your teeth pulled themselves together in a grimace of anger, a look so terrifying that, if they could kill, the girls before you would be dead ten times over.

You felt rage bubble up in your stomach as you hissed the words of anger through your bared teeth:

“What did you DO TO HER?”

No one answered. Of course they didn’t. Taking a breath, you turned on your heels and sprinted down the hallway, ignoring warning calls about running in the halls in favor of finding Carrie. That was all that mattered now, not those sneering cheerleaders who would rather make fun of your best friend and do their makeup then dare to listen to reason. You felt your breath fall in shaky, nervous gasps as you caught up with your PE teacher and your best friend, your hands flinging themselves forward to touch Carrie, who flinched for a moment at your advance.

“Y/N,” Miss Collins voice was sharp but understanding as she knew it was you, “It’s not the time. You’ll be able to see her soon, just please go back to class.”

“But I-!” You tried to protest but were shooed away, forcing yourself to a stop as the two disappeared down the hall.

You heard whispers behind you. Sharp murmurs that echoed with burning heat in the back of your ears, causing you to turn your head around so fast that you almost gave yourself whiplash. Your brows narrowed, sharp and full of succinct anger at the students who talked around you with so little regard to the situation that it was downright disgusting. Your gaze must have reflected your opinion. One by one the group was stunned into silence as they met your heated glare, slowly dissipating and averting their eyes so that they didn’t have to stare into the fierce flame you had acquired. Clenching and unclenching your hands as tight as you could, you tried to find your breaths to make them more even. In and out, you tried to repeat, in and out.

Carrie would need you to be calm, after all. You had to do it for her.

Sure enough she was released from the principal's office a little over half an hour later. Your discovery of her location had led you to wait patiently outside of the door with growing anxiety biting at the tips of your toes as they tapped relentlessly against the linoleum of the school hallway. Your fingers fiddled with one another, nails punching into skin and teeth sinking into lips as you tried not to count every second that passed that you were without your best friend. Yet they still echoed in your mind like clockwork, a tick of each one making your foot beat faster on the floor as you pushed the thoughts away. One two… Three four five… Six, seven! Eight nine and-

“Y… Y/N?”

Carrie’s voice snapped you out of your reverie as your head shot upwards, staring at the girl to your side who watched you with those beautifully wide, doe-like eyes she always seemed to have on her. Her fingertips clung to the books covering the front of her body like it was a life line, desperate to hide herself from the world. To hide herself from even you. The thought made your hurt burn, but you understood the reasoning behind it. After all, the experience had been traumatic.

Your pain must have registered on your face because Carrie averted her eyes, biting her lip as she tried to push her hair further in front of her face. To hide from your gaze as you finally pulled yourself from it, reaching out and touching her shoulder with light fingers, more asking permission than initiating a touch fully. You felt her flinch, but she didn’t pull away or give another indication that it was refused. You let your hand hold her steady then, bringing yourself closer to her as you bit your lip with worry.

“How are you doing?” You couldn’t help but ask with worry lacing your tone, “What did they say in there?”

She didn’t answer for a long time, but you waited patiently for her to find the words. You knew that, sometimes, words came hard to her through her mind of frustrated phrases and bible verses her mother pushed upon her. When she did, at last, there was a slight twist to her smile that you recognized as her slightly sarcastic, annoyed look. The gaze that was saved only for you and her when she was sure no one was looking. When she was sure she could get away with such a face as she muttered low into your ear.

“He kept calling me Cassie.”

To this you couldn’t help but snort, covering your mouth as a small fit of giggles left you. Carrie smiled, your laughter infectious as you rolled your eyes and let your hand find her free one instead, taking it and lacing your fingers together with a sigh and another quick snort.

“Cassie! What a fucking joke of an ass,” You couldn’t help but cackle as you gazed at her softly, “Hey, did they still say you have to go to class?”

She shook her head.

“I can go home early…”

“Cool… Do you want to spend some time at the park before you head home?”

“O-Oh,” Carrie’s eyes widened in surprise, “But your classes-.”

You shrugged in response with a light chuff, “One day of hooky won’t kill me. Besides, you’re more important to me than some book or teacher’s lecture. I’d skip a thousand classes for you!”

“I wouldn’t want that!” Carrie laughed, squeezing your hand in hers and accepting your offer, the both of you sliding out of the door to the school fully and into the sunlight of the mid afternoon in Maine.

The walk to the nearby park was quiet, your only comments on the weather as the two of you enjoyed the fresh air. At your side, Carrie clung to you with the desperation of a lost child, hiding her form behind your own as she watched others pass by. As her eyes followed them with worry to their intentions before relaxing as they walked away. She hadn’t skipped school like this before, nor did she ever not go home straight to her Momma. The entirety of the experience was new and moderately terrifying, yet your hand in her own made her all the more confident as the two of you found a shady bench beneath a massive acorn tree, sliding into it with a sigh as your aching knees enjoyed a momentary reprieve.

Carrie sat at your side, her books placed gingerly on the bench next to her as the two of you watched the ongoings of the park with quiet interest. Old couples walking dogs and chatting with one another filled your peripheral. Families of children who were not yet old enough to go to school decorated themselves amongst picnic tables and frisbee games, screaming and shrieking their enjoyment as the weather warmed their skins and hearts.

Your gaze turned to Carrie again, a frown painted on your lips for a moment as you watched her space out. Her gaze focused languidly on the floor before her, her fingertips fiddling with one another as she seemed to try and remember how to breathe. Taking a breath yourself, you reached out and cupped her hands with your own, giving your friend a gentle squeeze to startle her momentarily out of her reverie. You mustered up the best serious look you could manage before her as she gazed at you with curiosity against her otherwise exhausted looking appearance.

“Whatever those fuckers did,” You began with a sharp annoyance to your tone as you referred to her classmates, “Was stupid and cruel. No matter what they said or what anyone tells you, Care-Bear, you didn’t fucking deserve any of it. If I was allowed to I’d give every last one of them a piece of my mind-! The shit they pulled… You don’t deserve it and don’t EVER think that you do, okay? I promise that if they ever try shit again-” You gave a lopsided smile at her, “-I’ll be there to chase them out of the room myself, okay? So… Please, don’t let it get you down so bad, alright? You got me in the end, I promise.”

Your words hit something within Carrie that seemed to break her. Her gaze held yours, searching hard through it for any sign that you might be lying… Any reasoning as to why, just why, you would say all of those kind things to her. Why you would spend so much time with her and why, oh God why, you would even consider being this close to her after all that had happened. Her stomach churned with something between delight, care, and excitement as she watched your genuine expression with shock. You meant every word you said, she had realized with awe to the slight slack of her jaw, and you wouldn’t take it back. When you said something, she had learned, you meant it. Each word spoken from your lips in the months she had known you had meaning. Had purpose behind each syllable and that alone was enough to amaze her.

Amaze her that you were you… That you were her friend.

All at once tears fell from Carrie’s eyes as she leaned forward, engulfing you in the most delicate of hugs that had you gasping as the wet of her tears lit up your shoulder. You suppress a smile of amusement as you hugged her back, sighing as you were encompassed in the warmth and scent of your best friend. She seemed to cling to you more as you accepted her movement. The two of you must have been quite a sight, you mused, with her sobbing into your shoulder and you clinging to her as though she might turn to mist and disappear.

It felt warm, though. It felt right.

“I-I appreciate you, Y/N,” Carrie whimpered into your ear as she pulled away, wiping her face as it grew splotchy and red with her tears, “I… I never thought i’d have such a good friend in my life. I really am blessed to have you in it and I-I… I don’t ever want to have another one. Just you.”

You laughed, leaning closer to her and sighing as you touched your shoulders together with a smile.

“More friends are okay, Carrie, we’ll just have to find people who can hang with us both! I… appreciate you too, though, yeah? You’re amazing and beautiful and creative and… Well, I think we make a pretty good team, don’t you?”

You used the same words you had done when you first met. When you first completed something together and shared that same feeling of accomplishment with one another. This seemed to mimic that same feeling for the both of you, the touch of your shoulders and glint in your eyes nostalgic as she smiled at you, her tears steadying into nothing as she gave only a swift nod of confirmation and squeezed your hand tight to hers. Tilting your head for a moment, another idea seemed to instinctively come into your mind, your heart beating as you smiled and sat up straighter than you usually did, the eagerness of your question causing it to nearly stumble off of your tongue as you bounced in your seat.

“Say, Carrie,” You whispered in excitement, “How about we go to the Prom? Togther?”

It seemed to take her a minute to process just what you had said to her, the words in one ear and out the other, only to boomerang perfectly back into her as she startled, her face red with blush now as she stuttered something you couldn’t quite catch and brushed her hair behind her ear as she bit her lip. Realizing your words may have been misconstrued, you found yourself back tracking as you held both of your hands up with wide eyes of your own, a nervous laugh bubbling in your throat as you stuttered out your explanation with extreme honesty:

“N-No-wait- fuck shit- I didn’t mean-! As friends, right? I mean, if you find a date for yourself and want to go with him then, for sure, you should go with him! Whoever goes with you is a lucky guy, after all but… If you just wanted to go with no pressure or anything, sometimes going with friends can be just as fun! We could both wear really nice outfits, I’ll help you pick out your makeup if you want to try and wear some! Oh and we could do it together before we come in and when we’re here we can drink punch and dance and-!”

“I’d love to!”

She blurted her answer out as fast as possible in the middle of your words, making you both stumble over them and erupt into a fit of friendly giggles as she reclaimed her status in the situation with a nod.

“I’d love to go with you, Y/N… I think that sounds like the most fun thing ever, a-actually! Yeah, let’s do it! Let’s go to the prom together!”

You cheered, all but tackling her into a hug as the two of you giggled with excitement, drawing gazes curiously over to you as older folks hummed in amusement, murmuring something about ‘the good ol days’ as they continued to walk their dogs. You couldn’t care, though. You didn’t want to. All you wanted to focus on was the fact that you had made Carrie White, your best friend in the entire world, the happiest girl on earth in that very moment.

“That’s the spirit! Carrie and Y/N, on an adventure in high school! It’ll be AWESOME.”

You laughed as she clung to you, smiling through her beautiful hair and giving a confirming nod, biting her lip before she spoke out, eager in her tone:

“I can’t wait!”

Carrie White supposed that, yes, her life was truly hard. The hardest it had ever been at her age… but… She had you now, didn’t she? Perfect, loud, amazing you at her side for as long as she stayed your friend.

That alone? It was enough to make her life ten times brighter than if it existed without you. And that enough was to make her the most grateful person on earth.

[alywats]

June Reads

June was so rainy and then unbearably hot in Oregon, and then with quarantine on top of that I really did nothing but sit around and read all month. I guess I can’t complain too much, I think a year ago I would have killed to be doing exactly this, but I know we all want the world to go back to normal.

I started out the month reading Normal People, which I had heard really amazing things about. I can see why people like it, but it lost a little bit for me because books heavy in romance or sex are difficult for me to get through. I took a sharp right turn away from the hot and heavy to read Dinosaur Tales, a collection of short stories about dinos from Ray Bradbury, and that was refreshing.

I then read Someday, Someday, Maybe by Lauren Graham, which I went into with low expectations, and I actually liked it more than I thought I would, but it is sort of a rom-com lighthearted book that doesn’t leave too much of an impact. Then, I read the highly rated and recommended The Power, and woooow this was heavy with Margaret Atwood influence. The premise was well-executed, and the writing was very strong. The Power is definitely a must-read. I again switched gears after that to read Deception Point, Dan Brown’s second novel, and man…. this is not a good one. The premise is cool but the writing sucked so bad that I had the hardest time getting through it.

So I decided then to read something I knew would be a good read, and that was the last book in the Space Odyssey series. I think I liked this one the best besides the first one, I thought it was spooky and cool in all the right ways! I really recommend this series to any sci-fi lovers, it’s fun to read.

Next up was a book I went into with decently high expectations (because it is a prequel to The Hunger Games), but also very low expectations (because it is a prequel to The Hunger Games). And I feel like The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes was… okay. It is well written, and I felt like the story was authentic in the world that was already built in the original trilogy, but I did feel like it was a bit unnecessary and may have been a little “sell-out”-y. Why can’t authors just let their successful work BE.

I then read a book that I have been curious about for a while, The Vegetarian. The first third of this book was super interesting, and then the last two thirds made me so uncomfortable that I almost quit reading (which I think may have been the author’s intent?). I don’t think the book really deals with the concept of vegetarianism as a moral or ethical dilemma, it’s more about mental illness and how mental illness is handled in South Korea, which is different from what the blurb on the back of the book would have you believe. This book is more disturbing than philosophical… so I don't know, just keep that in mind I guess.

I continued on with The Map of Salt and Stars, which is such a beautifully written book. It is about a family of Syrian refugees and all that they must endure as their home is destroyed and they have to flee. The writing style of Joukhadar is absolutely stunning, pure poetry in my opinion. Give this book a read! Next up was One Man’s Wilderness, which is the diary of a man who gives up his “normal” life to go live remotely in the Alaskan wilderness. I loved this book for two reasons: because I secretly want to throw all my stuff away and move to a cabin in the woods too, and because this book was all about his relationship to the animals and plants and NATURE around him. It was beautiful the way he described his life in his cabin, taking and giving to the land. Really recommend!

Now, I finished the month with a pretty long read that I have been meaning to get to for years. I read the first fifty or so pages of 11/22/63 when it first came out but decided it wasn’t for me. Some context on that is that in 2011 I was thirteen and had read most of King’s paranormal stuff but thought that a book about JFK would be boring (lol). So I came back to it now, and wowie! This is some of King’s BEST WORK and that is just the truth. After I finished 11/22/63, I had time to squeeze in one more book so I chose The Ballad of Black Tom, which had been highly recommended to me. Although short, this novella packs a punch, it is definitely worth the read if you like the 1920s and horror.

So that’s that on my June reads, I spent lots of time reading in the park this month, and I can only hope my July reading will follow similarly. Let’s hear it for books! Ok bye.

Normal People -Sally Rooney (304 pgs) 4

Dinosaur Tales -Ray Bradbury (144 pgs) 3

Someday, Someday, Maybe -Lauren Graham (340 pgs) 3.25

The Power -Naomi Alderman (341 pgs) 4.25

Deception Point -Dan Brown (558 pgs) 2.5

3001: The Final Odyssey -Arthur C. Clarke (272 pgs) 3.75

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes -Suzanne Collins (540 pgs) 3.5

The Vegetarian -Han Kang (188 pgs) 3

The Map of Salt and Stars -Zeyn Joukhadar (368 pgs) 4.5

One Man’s Wilderness: An Alaskan Odyssey -Sam Keith (224 pgs) 4

11/22/63 -Stephen King (849 pgs) 4.5

The Ballad of Black Tom -Victor LaValle (149 pgs) 3.5

[alittlefrenchtree]

Armie Hammer & Fans

Working title was : Why I think Armie doesn’t love his fans and why I’m okay with that but I figure I didn’t need to be that provocative. And, when I say doesn’t love, I don’t actually mean hate or despite, only that I think he hasn’t any particular huge feelings towards fans of his — so not point of using the first title.

Here is why.

PART I -- YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND FANS UNLESS YOU ARE ONE YOURSELF

Every time I become fan of someone (it has happened quite a few times over the past 25 last years), I’m always interested to see if they are fans themselves or not. And I’m not talking about fans like ‘I-love-this-movie-so-much-I-saw-it-three-times’, I’m talking about crazy-over-the-top-freaks who knows everything about everything, spent thousand of hours talking about everything, create, wait hours on a red carpet, travel hundreds of miles, turned fandom-mutuals into lifetime friends… like most us down here. My opinion is that you can’t understand how important it feels unless you’ve been here yourself because I don’t think anybody (and certainly not self-deprecating Armie) is full of himself enough to really understand what it means and what they represent for fans. And why is it important ? Because it highlights behavior in different ways. (side note : parallels with Timmy aren’t for saying who’s better than who between but because they’re radically different on that level and I know everybody knows what I’m talking about when I take Timmy as an example). My point is, when Timmy saw people waiting and freezing on a red carpet or stan accounts on social media, he knows who much even the smallest gestures can meant for people on the other side, because he has been (still is on some levels) there. Armie hadn’t. He doesn’t even understand why people are happy to take a selfie with him if it the only thing they get. I don’t think he realize how much difference in people happiness he makes when he’s giving and when he’s not.

PART II -- BACKGROUND

I haven’t real proofs for what I’m going to say in this part but I do think the more wealthy you are, the less chances you have to become a fan yourself or to understand the phenomenon. I guess having money take a little bit of the fascination for rich, famous people away — but mostly because you evolve on the same circles. Armie being a Hammer, I guess he has occasionally see and hear about « famous » people (in various areas) while growing up (and during his whole life), preventing him again for fully understanding that kind of relationship between known people and fans. I don’t think you can become fan of someone you already know. And, while he certainly haven’t met every artist he admires yet, I think he has quite early in his life seen and been around enough to not idealize/idolize people or understand how people could do that and, on the contrary, be quite suspicious about them.

PART III -- THE TRUST ISSUE

Again, no proofs, just theories based on what makes sense to me. Given the shape of his career (and his general personality/ lack of self esteem), I think he may have trust issue towards fans. He said it himself, there were several times during his career where people has said to him « this is your moment, this is your time ». I guess fans had told him, after The Social Network, before Lone Ranger or before Man From Uncle, that they loved him and his work and were fan of his. I’m not saying they were lying or that he thinks they were lying. I’m only saying that, if he had sometimes considered fans as a whole instead of as many individualities, he may has thought, at these particular times of his career, that fans (in general) had let him down. I’m not blaming anybody on box-office flops I’m just trying to explain what it may feels like to be a lead or one of the leads and see that kind of situation happened in more than one occasion. Again, I’m not saying that Armie is resentful towards fans because of that. If it’s true, maybe he isn’t even aware of these feels. But I think because he feels like he can’t trust people as audience and support, he may have shift his priorities and his focus and what he thinks is important. Maybe he doesn’t really feel like investing himself for people who may come and go in the blink of a eye.

PART IV -- « I DON’T THINK HE’S ARROGANT. I THINK HE’S SHY. » (thanks Papa for the quote)

Here, in France, we have a singer called Emmanuel Moire. I’m not a fan of his but I listen to a few of his interviews (because he’s very sweet and his story is very sad) and I remember him saying that, before coming-out to his fans, he didn’t feel like he was really connecting with them (and certainly not like he’s doing it now, after the coming-out). DON’T YELL AT ME, this isn’t me saying that Armie’s gay (my vision of sexuality is not trivial enough to be explain with labels). My point is, when you aren’t fully true to yourself or when you’re hiding, it’s harder to connect with people, especially with people who love you. It’s harder to accept love when you don’t love yourself in the first place. Why am I saying that Armie isn’t fully true to himself ? Because Armie said it himself.

I’ve had conversations before with Guadagnino where he discusses actors, and it’s uncanny how well he can zero in on the locus of a star’s appeal, laying bare what makes that actor tick. It’s more than just a party trick: Guadagnino is simply that good at reading people. I wondered, then, if he had ever analyzed Hammer to his face. “I think he knows that if he would describe me to me, it would crush me,” Hammer said with a laugh. “He’s never even tried, and I’m so appreciative.” [Source]

 PART V -- A RELATIONSHIP THAT NEEDS TO GROW

…and to grow under the right circumstances.

We know Armie basically hates everything that is linked to being famous. He doesn’t particularly enjoy doing promo. He doesn’t like having to do fittings for new clothes every 3 seconds (the guy own 1 suit, 1 pair of new balance and two sweaters, after all), he doesn’t like awards shows or selfies and his love-hate relationship with social media isn’t really helping either. I don’t know where exactly he puts fans in all of that but I think that, as much as he enjoys the recognition and knowing people enjoy his work, the concept itself of having fans as he probably sees it, isn’t something he digs very much. But relationships between artists and fans aren’t things set in stone. Like any relationship, they need to grow and to be built. Best example I’ve got here, is Jensen Ackles. When Jensen has started to do fan cons, he was so shy and uncomfortable with the whole thing but, through the course of the years, he learned a lot (partly thanks to Jared Padalecki first and then Misha Collins, so I’m kinda hoping Timmy will do the same with him during sequel time) by meeting people, sitting with them and hearing their personal stories. And now he’s a master at fan cons. I think Armie would enjoy meeting fans if he wasn’t meeting them as fans but as people. Having a chat, grabbing a beer. Exactly like he said in that GQ interview. And maybe it’s the only point for which I think he could do better if he’s willing to. Because first, he needs to understand that (even he can’t wrap his mind around it) it’s fucking terrifying and mind blowing for fans to meet him and that if some encounters are a little bit awkward, it’s because most fans try to be quick and not bother people too much when they’re meeting someone famous. Second, because he’s also up to him to create the good opportunities for these kind of moments. Like that plane girl with Timmy. I would love for Armie to have something like that (minus the full report on twitter and the headlines would have shadow the whole experience for him (maybe for Timmy too)). Maybe not in economic, because, well, he’s Armie Hammer, but something like that nevertheless. It probably won’t happen anytime soon, because of everything I just wrote but I think it would be good for him. And he has time.

Ok, now I’m dead on my feet so I don’t even know if any of this is making any sense. I’m crossing fingers. I’ve probably forgotten a lot of important stuff so expect a lot of yelling from me to me and a lot of reblogs to add things in the next few days. If I’ve been unclear with something, please let me know ;-).

[intoxicatingimmediacy]

Daveed Diggs and Rafael Casal on “Blindspotting” | Medium

[...] In the film, your characters play movers who come into contact with a wide range of customers, including a photographer who shows them photos about the oak trees that can no longer be found in the city named for them, and he asks the two of you to stare into each other’s eyes. Tell me what inspired that and what you were thinking about in that scene.

RC: The exercise was stolen from one of my mentors, Chris Walker, who made us do it when I was teaching at the University of Wisconsin in Madison. He would have the students do that and then there were all these mimicking games and stuff. It was about getting the giggles out and establishing intimacy between two actors or two performers. That’s also just a very hippie thing to ask someone to do something you really love. I think the Bay Area is so hippie in that way and the idea of making two grown men try to connect in an intimate way was a way to display how uncomfortable that is for two guys who have known each other their whole lives. It just felt like a fun thing to do early in the script. Performing it — we have a different level of comfort than Miles and Collin do so that was easy for us. There were a few moments during the photoshoot for the film where they had us so close together it was so funny. For the photo we were within an inch away and I go, “This is alright but normally only a girl or my dog could get that close to my face.”

DD: There were all sorts of different versions of who the character was but they were all a particular Bay Area energy that we didn’t have represented other places in the film, somebody who despite being forced to interact with capitalism in the way that we all have to would much prefer to peddle understanding as opposed to paintings. He would rather give all of his pictures away and just be able to promote these moments of true honest understanding with each other. So he sees an opportunity here and one of the things he gets to bring out is that we get to see how difficult intimacy even on the basic level is for two male friends despite being friends their whole lives. There is something awkward about just being this close together and actually looking each other in the eye. Most of the time you don’t look at the person you are talking to. But that is where all of the cues for how somebody is feeling are.

Why is it that your characters can live in a community of interracial relationships that seem completely accepted but as the movie shows, the world around them is still having trouble dealing with racial differences?

RC: I don’t know that no one notices the differences. I think we’re presenting a reality where those conversations have been had already. That melting pot does not happen without a ton of talks about it. That’s why I think a lot of the conversations that do happen on screen happened a few steps into the conversation. We assume that any place that has gotten to a point where these are the kinds of relationships that are around didn’t skip forward and get to something like racial harmony. The world is not there, but they’ve had those conversations or some degree of those conversations with each other. It’s not like Miles and [his wife] Ashley have never talked about the fact that she’s black and he’s not; they’ve definitely had that conversation.

DD: I’m mixed, a ton of my friends were mixed. By virtue of being mixed I’ve almost never dated somebody who was of the same race as me in a relationship, so growing up that wasn’t a thing. That was normalized to a degree that nobody batted an eye about it and so I didn’t know until I left that that it would be a thing anywhere else and I didn’t understand it. I didn’t understand any of the hang-ups with it. I felt like we were having a discussion that I was born already having had and it was pressuring in me in a certain sense but I think the fact that communities exist under the fact that people are able to interact in a lot of ways within a community has really nothing to do with what’s happening in the country on a grand scale.

One of the themes of the film is the struggle with gentrification of the neighborhoods.

DD: I think it’s natural to be fearful of somebody literally taking your resources and removing you from them. That is what’s happening to a lot of the folks in that community it’s what’s happening to Miles and Colin. The [expensive] green juice [suddenly showing up in the store to appeal to the hipster community] isn’t the problem; the fact that it is reasonable for the green juice to be priced at $10 leads you to beg the question of who is that for and why did it never exist before we started seeing these new people coming in. It’s not like nobody in this neighborhood has been health-conscious before. Val [Collin’s ex] loves going to SoulCycle and she’s so excited that that is part of this community now. She uses it all the time but it didn’t exist until very recently and the thing that comes along with its existence are raised rents and a difference in policing. Police are being called to events that they would not normally be called to. That recent story about “barbecuing while black” is this beautiful example of where here is something that’s been happening in the same place for over a decade every weekend and because the neighborhood changed, somebody called the police on it, on a bunch of black people just having a barbecue.

[...] One of the things I loved about the film was the range of tone. You’ve got just outright funny stuff, you got very heightened stuff, you’ve got very realistic drama. Did anybody push back on you and say “hey pick a lane?”

DD: We heard that early on a little bit, but I think philosophically for us we wanted to portray the Bay area honestly. It had to be in the DNA of the film so it wasn’t just swinging wildly it was actually intentional. This is how we all laugh one second and cry the next and I think that is not Bay Area specific. I’ve never felt one thing at a time. Nobody has. We are often pushed in art to focus on one thing, to mine all of the available material out of one lane. For us to try in order to be true to life as we could which was the premise of us making this film I couldn’t find a way to do that.

RC: That tonal specificity is a fear-based constraint of studios, not a capacity of the audience. Our job is to push the medium. We don’t just want to make a film within a medium; we want to move the medium. The excitement was to go, “Well, the great news is we didn’t go to film school. We don’t know any of those rules. All we know is honesty.”

What is it about hip-hop that makes it so vital a part of today’s expression?

RC: Heightened language is just the mechanism that tells you how important information is. It is an attractive thing to listen to that functions the same way that musical theater does. When a feeling or idea crosses over to be too emotional to just talk about it, something elevates, so you sing. You could put it in the hip-hop bucket but that’s just songs and poetry and it predates all of that. There is a cadence to the way in which we use hip hop, as well as the concept of disenfranchised communities using verse to shout from the mountaintop when they’re not being listened to otherwise. But the idea of verse as a way to elevate language has been in the arts since the arts began. So I think we both were allied on the very contemporary mechanism that has its roots in something that has a very feeling mechanism which was creating dense and beautiful language to tell you what’s important about the moment.

[lovemazes]

11 questions tag

i was tagged by @m1amor 💕

rules

post the rules

answer the questions given by the tagger

write 11 questions of your own

tag 11 people

1. music and movies, for me, act as a safety blanket at times. there’s always one artist or show i go back to so that i can pick myself up and feel better. what’s your “safety blanket” album, movie, or tv show?

whenever im feeling distressed or uncomfortable i always turn to my kpop playlist lol it has bts red velvet and dean and their music is the kind that i can listen to for hours without getting bored so that really makes it comforting. in regards to movies i love watching the halloween series and if im feeling awful i know it will give me a sense of being at home or comfort cause my whole family loves those movies and especially in the fall and winter we probably watch them like several times alkhda so i associate those movies with fall/winter (my fave seasons) and being with my family as it’s something we watch together

2. if you had to choose between being able to communicate with animals or be able to speak, read, and write any and every language in the world fluently, which one would you pick and why?

i would pick being fluent in every language because im so fascinated by culture and people in the world and there would be no barrier if i could speak each language

3. would you rather get drunk or high w your bias ? (or neither! sober is cool 2 !)

the only alcohol i’ll drink are flavored ones lol so i dont think i’d drink at all, i’d rather get high especially since im curious about the experience and i wonder how jimin will be too kldshlkd

4. quote your favorite vine of all time

they’re all so funny i cant even choose

5. which do you prefer: text, call, or facetime? why?

texting cause you can take your time with replying and can talk to someone throughout the day while the other two you’re forced to hang up at some point

6. describe the cutest first date scenario w your bias !

please i know jimin could rent out a whole observatory where we have the place to ourselves and could look at the stars and planets while eating foods exclusive to our cultures that we share with each other and we’ll talk about anything and everything and of course it’s gonna be on the night of an astronomical event so a little before it happens we’ll go outside and make a bed out of the back of whatever car and lay and watch it happen... im crying

7. what was the last movie that made you cry?

i watched to the bone on netflix starring lilly collins and there were some parts that poked at my heart :(

8. if for some odd reason you were forced to get a tattoo of one emoji, which one would you pick?

the letter with a heart on it, im on desktop so i dont have emojis :/

9. opinion on musicals? do you enjoy them?

high school musical was good

10. what concept that can’t be supported by science do you believe in? (aliens, astrology, telepathy, chakras, crystals, reincarnation, just to name a couple of ideas!)

i believe in the possibility of anything

11. what is your favorite time of the day?

whenever the sun sets cause it makes the clouds and sky beautiful colors and i love taking pictures, i will literally run outside to take a picture sldkja

my questions for all of you (these were totally not googled):

1. what are three qualities you like about yourself?

2. are there any famous people you look up to?

3. if you could only listen to one music genre for the rest of your life what would it be? and which artist from that genre would you listen to?

4. what is something you’ve done that you’re most proud of?

5. what’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever been to?

6. if you could recommend three movies (no matter the language) to your bias, what would they be?

7. if you could live in any movie/tv show plot, which one would you choose?

8. what kpop album released this year has been your favorite so far?

9. if you could spend any holiday with your ult group, what would it be, who with, and what would you do?

10. what is your favorite food from your culture(s)?

11. what are some nicknames people have given you?

i tag @virjin @jiminparks @wat @kingsmixtape @rainpjm @hobisnovia @m0ni @dippiindots @thicknaruto @foryoubybts @jjjoonie 

[a-forger-and-a-point-man]

argh you guys, these are such great observations and thoughts.

knowing hoyte van hoytema shot dunkirk, did either one of you think of this moment at the end? because i sure did:

[**SPOILERS AHEAD** for anyone reading this on my blog without the cut]

am i overthinking? couldn’t help but see the similarities. thought it was cool.

i’m still so shaken by the experience. i didn’t sleep well tbh. what an experience dunkirk is. @peruses your review was not long at all, I WANT MORE!

on the subject of the most famous nolanism of them all - the non-linear storytelling - i wanted to draw your attention to this interview with mr. nolan from february (i avoided reading it back then because i didn’t wanna know...):

The official “Dunkirk” trailer released last December teased this kind of triptych storytelling device. It appears Tom Hardy will be in the sky, Cillian Murphy and Mark Rylance will be out at sea, and newcomer Fionn Whitehead will be on the beach. But the challenge of “Dunkrik” is that all of these stories weren’t taking place simultaneously.

Nolan elaborated on the tricky three-setting structure: “On land, some stayed one week stuck on the beach. On the water, the events lasted a maximum day; And if you were flying to Dunkirk, the British spitfires would carry an hour of fuel.”

So how exactly does Nolan manage to tell three different stories that all took place over different durations of time? Well, he’s not spilling all his secrets. “To mingle these different versions of history, one had to mix the temporal strata,” he said. “Hence the complicated structure; Even if the story, once again, is very simple.”

i found farrier’s tracking of time with his piece of chalk really intense, especially after we see what collins goes through :/ i am VERY claustrophobic, so the whole escape scene with collins - and on IMAX - was just brutal omg :( :( 

combine that with the ticking sound (from nolan’s own watch, btw) and the collab with zimmer on the shepard tone, the whole movie is built on the idea that ALTHOUGH IT KEEPS MOVING, THE CONCEPT OF TIME IS SO SUBJECTIVE. if you’re a pilot, you’re praying to god the 60 minutes’ worth of fuel lasts you a lot longer. if you’re on the beach, you’re praying to god the week ends up being more like a day or two 

that said, i do need to watch the movie again to be able to precisely line up the hour + the day + the week and make a diagram... we had to make those for inception and interstellar to understand lol

on the press junket, excellent point about harry and fionn! i didn’t think of it that way! fionn deserves all the attention. he was amazing. what a presence onscreen. and he barely speaks! mr. nolan made an excellent casting decision. all the boys were terrific and harry really impressed me! he has the biggest speaking part after cillian and mark i think!! crazy! but this movie totally flips that idea on its head... you don’t need to have lines in the script to make an impact. aneurin barnard (“gibbons”) is particularly good at this! those eyes burn into the camera. wow  

on the point about the characters not being “real people” - i’m hoping you can clarify a little bit? especially this bit: “they aren’t real people, and yet it’s because they’re not real that the storytelling achieves its level of truth.”

you mean it’s because the characters were not based on real people, but rather symbolize real people? i understand your greater point, and i agree wholeheartedly. the movie shook me to the core because yes, i did feel like i was too close, i was uncomfortable and terrified, but mostly because holy shit, what a waste of lives. what a fucking waste. so much of my passion stems from anger, when i am reminded again what war does. remember it wasn’t really until vietnam that people were seeing images of war on tv. young boys who enlisted didn’t know what they were getting into. it was the thing to do, the way to serve; it was blind patriotism. they were hardly trained. i don’t see them the way i’d see a white kid in uniform in afghanistan now (also due to a whole host of moral and political reasons, and defense vs. offense, but let’s not get into that now..........)

like you said, there’s nothing to celebrate about war. at all. i’m so glad the movie ended the way it did. it could have ended with the boys cheering on farrier, giving him a hero’s welcome, but no. mr. nolan decided that even when a guy is a total hero, saving thousands of lives, he still gets fucked. wow. and contrast that with alex’s pissiness about “just surviving” and how the old man didn’t even look him “in the eye” 

i am so happy this movie glamorized nothing because i was really worried nolan would go all spielberg. i was so worried. welp.

(i am working on my own review in a separate post... so many more thoughts... thanks for reading this far!)

How to tell a true war story: Kyuu reviews Dunkirk

(idk why is this so damn long)

Now onto the review (spoilers ahead):

Keep reading

[cahouser]

Highlights: The Art of Learning: An Inner Journey to Optimal Performance By Josh Waitzkin

My growth became defined by barrierlessness.

LOCATION: 124

numbers to leave numbers, or form to leave form. LOCATION: 149

Whenever there was a concept or learning technique that I related to in a manner too abstract to convey, I forced myself to break it down into the incremental steps with which I got there. Over time I began to see the principles that have been silently guiding me, and a systematic methodology of learning emerged. LOCATION: 165

lifetime of competition has not cooled my ardor to win, but I have grown to love the study and training above all else. LOCATION: 172

Presence under fire hardly feels different from the presence I feel sitting at my computer, typing these sentences. LOCATION: 174

I remember the strange sensation of discovering a lost memory. LOCATION: 199

Every day pieces of the puzzle fell together. LOCATION: 223

Perhaps the most decisive element of my game was the way my style on the board was completely in synch with my personality as a child. I was unhindered by internal conflict—a state of being that I have come to see as fundamental to the learning process. LOCATION: 300

I’ll never forget the feeling when I sensed my potential escape. Often in chess, you feel something is there before you find it. LOCATION: 453

Dr. Carol Dweck, a leading researcher in the field of developmental psychology, makes the distinction between entity and incremental theories of intelligence. Children who are “entity theorists”—that is, kids who have been influenced by their parents and teachers to think in this manner—are prone to use language like “I am smart at this” and to attribute their success or failure to an ingrained and unalterable level of ability. They see their overall intelligence or skill level at a certain discipline to be a fixed entity, a thing that cannot evolve. Incremental theorists, who have picked up a different modality of learning—let’s call them learning theorists—are more prone to describe their results with sentences like “I got it because I worked very hard at it” or “I should have tried harder.” A child with a learning theory of intelligence tends to sense that with hard work, difficult material can be grasped—step by step, incrementally, the novice can become the master. Dweck’s research has shown that when challenged by difficult material, learning theorists are far more likely to rise to the level of the game, while entity theorists are more brittle and prone to quit. LOCATION: 474

the art became a riveting window of self-exploration. LOCATION: 602

Since childhood, inclement conditions have inspired me, and as a young competitor I would guide critical chess games into positions of tremendous complexity with the confidence that I would be able to sort through the mayhem more effectively than my opponents. LOCATION: 604

This issue of process vs. goal is very delicate, and I want to carefully define how I feel the question should be navigated. LOCATION: 637

the beauty of those roses lies in their transience. LOCATION: 660

Another way of envisioning the importance of the Soft Zone is through an ancient Indian parable that has been quite instructive in my life for many years: A man wants to walk across the land, but the earth is covered with thorns. He has two options—one is to pave his road, to tame all of nature into compliance. The other is to make sandals. Making sandals is the internal solution. Like the Soft Zone, it does not base success on a submissive world or overpowering force, but on intelligent preparation and cultivated resilience. LOCATION: 765

I was playing a tournament in Philadelphia with a Phil Collins song rattling away in my brain when I realized that I could think to the beat of the song. LOCATION: 781

Then one day, an old Bulgarian Master named Rudy Blumenfeld approached my father in the Marshall Chess Club and asked him if we were aware of what this boy was doing to me. We were not. He explained that in the climactic moments of the struggle, when I had to buckle down and patiently work my way through the complications to find a precise solution, this boy would start to tap a chess piece on the side of the table, barely audible, but at a pace that entered and slightly quickened my mental process. This subtle tactic was highly effective and I later found out that it was an offspring of the Soviet study of hypnosis and mind control. The next time we played, I was on the lookout for the tapping and sure enough, in the critical moment it was right there. Hilarious. Once I was aware of what was happening, I was able to turn the tables in our rivalry. LOCATION: 800

Mental resilience is arguably the most critical trait of a world-class performer, and it should be nurtured continuously. Left to my own devices, I am always looking for ways to become more and more psychologically impregnable. When uncomfortable, my instinct is not to avoid the discomfort but to become at peace with it. When injured, which happens frequently in the life of a martial artist, I try to avoid painkillers and to change the sensation of pain into a feeling that is not necessarily negative. My instinct is always to seek out challenges as opposed to avoiding them. LOCATION: 826

He took a few deep breaths to clear his mind, came back to the moment, collected himself, and won a critical game in the National Championships. LOCATION: 918

I think a life of ambition is like existing on a balance beam. As a child, there is no fear, no sense for the danger of falling. The beam feels wide and stable, and natural playfulness allows for creative leaps and fast learning. You can run around doing somersaults and flips, always testing yourself with a love for discovery and new challenges. If you happen to fall off—no problem, you just get back on. But then, as you get older, you become more aware of the risk of injury. You might crack your head or twist your knee. The beam is narrow and you have to stay up there. Plunging off would be humiliating. While a child can make the beam a playground, high-stress performers often transform the beam into a tightrope. Any slip becomes a crisis. Suddenly you have everything to lose, the rope is swaying above a crater of fire, increasingly dramatic acrobatics are expected of you but the air feels thick with projectiles aimed to dislodge your balance. What was once light and inspiring can easily mutate into a nightmare. LOCATION: 1033

A key component of high-level learning is cultivating a resilient awareness that is the older, conscious embodiment of a child’s playful obliviousness. LOCATION: 1040

This journey, from child back to child again, is at the very core of my understanding of success. LOCATION: 1043

It might be interesting to examine, with a bit more detail, how this happened to me. LOCATION: 1048

On the page, the man is a genius. LOCATION: 1065

He is socially awkward and when not talking about or playing chess, he seems like a big fish flopping on sand. LOCATION: 1066

This was a delicate and rather mystical-feeling idea, and I wish I had possessed the sophistication as a sixteen-year-old boy to see its power. LOCATION: 1093

I have found that if we feed the unconscious, it will discover connections between what may appear to be disparate realities. The path to artistic insight in one direction often involves deep study of another—the intuition makes uncanny connections that lead to a crystallization of fragmented notions. The great Abstract Expressionist painters and sculptors, for example, came to their revolutionary ideas through precise realist training. Jackson Pollock could draw like a camera, but instead he chose to splatter paint in a wild manner that pulsed with emotion. He studied form to leave form. And in his work, the absence of classical structure somehow contains the essence of formal training—but without its ritualized limitations. LOCATION: 1106

I don’t think I was even present to the question. LOCATION: 1115

You synchronize desires, speak the same language. LOCATION: 1130

practice becomes like the ebb and flow of water meeting a beach, the waves lapping against the sand (in-breath), then the water trickling back out to sea (gentle, full exhalation). LOCATION: 1261

My response is that it is essential to have a liberating incremental approach that allows for times when you are not in a peak performance state. LOCATION: 1406

The learning principle is to plunge into the detailed mystery of the micro in order to understand what makes the macro tick. LOCATION: 1424

With the practice of this type of simplified motion you can feel the subtlest ripples inside the body. You become aware of all the tension that resides in your feet, legs, back, and shoulders. Then you release the tension, step by step, hour by hour, month by month, and with the fading of tension comes a whole new world of sensation. You learn to direct your awareness inside the body, and soon enough your fingers come alive with tingling, you feel heat surging up your back and through your arms. LOCATION: 1441

Let’s combine Pirsig’s Brick with my concept of Making Smaller Circles and see how they work. LOCATION: 1475

A parallel would be a trained singer who, through years of practice, knows what the notes feel like vibrating inside. Then she is giving a concert in a big venue and the sound system is a nightmare. From onstage, she can’t hear herself at all—a surprisingly common occurrence. The great performer can deliver a virtuoso performance without hearing a thing, because she knows how the notes should feel coming out, even if her primary monitor—her ears—are temporarily unavailable. LOCATION: 1499

It is rarely a mysterious technique that drives us to the top, but rather a profound mastery of what may well be a basic skill set. LOCATION: 1524

Depth beats breadth any day of the week, because it opens a channel for the intangible, unconscious, creative components of our hidden potential. LOCATION: 1525

distraction was converted into fuel for high performance. LOCATION: 1550

be at peace with imperfection. LOCATION: 1553

we learn to use that imperfection to our advantage—for example thinking to the beat of the music or using a shaking world as a catalyst for insight. LOCATION: 1555

learn to create ripples in our consciousness, little jolts to spur us along, so we are constantly inspired whether or not external conditions are inspiring. LOCATION: 1556

deep mastery of performance psychology involves the internal creation of inspiring conditions. LOCATION: 1560

This injury was becoming a tremendous source of inspiration. LOCATION: 1611

bizarre though it may sound I resolved not to atrophy. At this point in my life I was very involved in the subtle internal dynamics of the body through Tai Chi meditation. I had an idea that I might be able to keep my right side strong by intense visualization practice. My method was as follows: I did a daily resistance workout routine on my left side, and after every set I visualized the workout passing to the muscles on the right. My arm was in a cast, so there was no actual motion possible—but I could feel the energy flowing into the unused muscles. I admit it was a shot in the dark, but it worked. My whole body felt strong, and when the doctor finally took off my cast he was stunned. LOCATION: 1612

if I were to stop training whenever something hurt, I would spend my whole year on the couch. LOCATION: 1626

You have to make obstacles spur you to creative new angles in the learning process. Let setbacks deepen your resolve. You should always come off an injury or a loss better than when you went down. LOCATION: 1630

we blithely consider the unconscious to be a piece of machinery that operates mystically in a realm that we have no connection to, then we lose the rich opportunity to have open communication with the wellspring of our creativity. LOCATION: 1673

We are at the moment when psychology begins to transcend technique. LOCATION: 1733

This is a nuanced and largely misunderstood state of mind that when refined involves a subtle reintegration of the conscious mind into a free-flowing unconscious process. The idea is to shift the primary role from the conscious to the unconscious without blissing out and losing the precision the conscious can provide. LOCATION: 1735

For a physical analogy, consider your vision. Let’s allow the conscious mind to be represented by your area of visual focus, and your unconscious to be your peripheral vision. LOCATION: 1738

chess players must let the unconscious flow while the conscious leads and follows, sorting out details, putting things in order, making precise mathematical calculations. LOCATION: 1743

Most people would be surprised to discover that if you compare the thought process of a Grandmaster to that of an expert (a much weaker, but quite competent chess player), you will often find that the Grandmaster consciously looks at less, not more. That said, the chunks of information that have been put together in his mind allow him to see much more with much less conscious thought. So he is looking at very little and seeing quite a lot. LOCATION: 1745

This is why profoundly refined martial artists can sometimes appear mystical to less skilled practitioners—they have trained themselves to perceive and operate within segments of time that are too small to be perceived by untrained minds. LOCATION: 1794

If the opponent does not move, then I do not move. At the opponent’s slightest move, I move first. The first stanza is rather straightforward. It is about listening, being sensitive to the adversary’s slightest tremble, and sticking to him. Adherence is at the center of Tai Chi’s martial applicability. Basically those four lines are about becoming a shadow. But the last idea stumped me. A shadow is an effect, not a cause. How do you move before someone you are following? LOCATION: 1825

What I did here is observe and provoke a pattern of action/reaction in my opponent. LOCATION: 1886

Players who are able to relax in brief moments of inactivity are almost always the ones who end up coming through when the game is on the line. LOCATION: 2160

Instead of feeling obligated to stay completely focused on the chess position while my opponent thought, I began to let my mind release some of the tension. LOCATION: 2170

At one point, after Kasparov had lost a big game and was feeling dark and fragile, my father asked Garry how he would handle his lack of confidence in the next game. Garry responded that he would try to play the chess moves that he would have played if he were feeling confident. He would pretend to feel confident, and hopefully trigger the state. Kasparov was an intimidator over the board. Everyone in the chess world was afraid of Garry and he fed on that reality. If Garry bristled at the chessboard, opponents would wither. So if Garry was feeling bad, but puffed up his chest, made aggressive moves, and appeared to be the manifestation of Confidence itself, then opponents would become unsettled. Step by step, Garry would feed off his own chess moves, off the created position, and off his opponents’ building fear, until soon enough the confidence would become real and Garry would be in flow. If you think back to the chapter Building Your Trigger and apply it to this description, you’ll see that Garry was not pretending. He was not being artificial. Garry was triggering his zone by playing Kasparov chess. LOCATION: 2569

[juliettespencerus]

Quit Drinking Tips To Get Sober

Quit Drinking tips

From April 10th to May 10th I stopped consuming entirely. I composed the bulk of this article the day I could start drinking, but in the interest of experimentation I decided to wait to publish it.

You know, simply in case something went awfully wrong and I ruined my life by returning to beer. Turns out, I'm still here.

The day I might begin consuming again was a fascinating one. Because I take pleasure in a great, cold craft beer a lot I would've thought that I 'd be giddy with enjoyment, like a young child waking up on Christmas day.

Unfortunately, I felt more indifferent about it than I believed I would.

Let's start at the beginning.

Why I Decided to Quit Drinking

The most significant reason I decided to do my 30-day difficulty was a basic one:

I would like to know if I might do it.

As someone who routinely has a beer at lunch, likes to celebrate a workday with a couple of beverages at the bar and celebrations on the weekends I wished to know just how strong of a hold alcohol had on my life.

It turns out, my "alcoholism" has nothing on my determination.

I would not categorize the difficulty as "easy," however it was far from tough. There was never a time I was so desperate to finish the challenge that I got rid of alcohol from the home or didn't satisfy individuals at pleased hour due to the fact that it was at a bar.

To show, this was the cooler being in my shed the entire duration of this difficulty.

The "Water" sign wasn't some strange mental wizardry. It originally had water in it, I assure. I likewise comprehend that Coors Light is primarily water. It wasn't mine. I likewise promise.

Interest was the greatest reason for trying the obstacle. I wanted to see what, if anything, would occur if I entirely gave up alcohol for a month.

One month later, I have actually had my most financially effective and productive month of my profession.

I can't state the two things are 100% positively associated, but it does have an interesting twist to it.

One tends to substitute dependencies rather of eliminating them. In my case, workaholism took over. Because I wasn't having a beer and interacting socially to soothe me down and zone me out, there was no factor NOT to work from 5-- 10 PM.

An extra 3-- 5 hours of work every day wasn't bad per say, however it wasn't favorable either. As All-Father Óðinn (yes, I'm Icelandic. Yes, I'm pricing quote Norse Gods) says, and I'm paraphrasing,

" Whatever is great in moderation."

Small amounts and balance are the keys to being a successful, well-rounded person. Separated workaholism isn't the service for filling the time you utilized to utilize for pleased hour.

I was simply being productive for performance's sake rather of utilizing that time for individual development in other ways. My financial success that month had more to do with a product production that occurred prior to my difficulty began than my sobriety.

Here are some more ideas I had throughout and after my experiment.

You Have Method More Energy

Unsurprisingly, hangovers zap your energy like Anna "Rogue" Marie zaps your mutant powers. You're grumpy and ineffective for many of the day after if you consume too much (particularly after you turn 30). The early morning benefits of sobriety are great. Your sleep quality is much better, you awaken clear-headed, and your workday is more interesting.

Of course, I work for myself and get to choose what I do every day, so I'm pretty lucky because regard. If you dislike your job, maybe it's much better to just do it in a zombie state. However, if delighted hour is the only thing you anticipate during your workday maybe the issue isn't your drinking, however rather your career choice?

Without a hangover, my morning routine is way more pleasurable. You can check out everything about it here, however needless to say, it's easier to get an excellent head-start on the morning when you wish to get out of bed.

Quit Drinking Tips Calmness

When I was entirely sober, I felt calmer and in touch with my feelings. Also, due to the fact that I was never ever hungover, it was simpler to stick to my meditation regimen.

Meditation teaches you to respond instead of respond to external issues. As I was totally sober and meditating more than normal, I was calmer and more familiar with every circumstance that needed my reaction. Instead of knee-jerk responses of inconvenience, I would be more systematic in my responses.

Bars are Boring - Quit Drinking Tips 

If you don't consume, you do not desire to hang out at bars, however you still do not want to alter your whole regular and push away all your buddies.

This was a tough one since bars lose their appeal when you don't desire 99% of what they have on the menu. Once the crowd begins getting drunk and loud, they likewise get old quick.

Your good friends are the factor you're at the bar in the very first location, not the alcohol. That stated, you still feel uncomfortable because of the unwritten social agreement of having a drink in front of you.

Service?

Order a non-alcoholic mixed drink. Some bartenders in Tucson took their non-alcoholic cocktail making abilities seriously, and I thank them for it.

Cameron over at Congress even informed me,

" Just tell everyone it's a Tom Collins if you're asked."

If you say you're not drinking but they will not question you if you inform them a name of an alcoholic drink, people tend to act weird.

The main point here is that you should not stop your routine simply due to the fact that you do not consume. You will feel uncomfortable and weird about not having a drink in your hands. It's a mental thing so ensure you have something to do with your hands.

During this difficulty, I realized that I likewise just consume too quick in basic, no matter the beverage's alcohol content. Because I wanted to get drunk much faster however turns out I drink a glass of soda water simply as quick, I thought I drank rapidly.

I associate this to my hyper, Type-A disorder of wishing to fill every time out in the discussion with a sip of what I'm drinking, rather of some hidden, alcoholic speed demon.

You're Really Alert

Individuals stop paying attention to their surroundings as they get drunker. They block off the world other than for what's going on around their 3-feet radius.

So unless you gaze intently at somebody and get their attention, it's simple to turn your uninteresting night out into an anthropological observation.

People Seem Into the "Concept," not the "Execution.".

They appeared interested and helpful when I mentioned my difficulty to people. They said things like "it's great to do that" or "I must try that sometime" but what I heard was,.

" That's cool and all, but there's no method I'm doing that.".

There was always that underlying tone in their voice that suggested that yes, possibly in an ideal world that would be fascinating, but there's no method they're making that a priority. I do not blame them. After doing the difficulty, I discovered that I'm not interested in being 100% sober all the time either.

Quit Drinking Tips - No one Notifications You're Not Drinking.

Individuals are self-absorbed many of the time, particularly when they have actually been consuming. I do not indicate that in a mean method. It's simply an extremely truthful observation. Everyone's keeping an eye out for themselves and they should. It's a natural extension of their survival instinct.

Because of this, people don't discover you're not consuming unless you inform them.

My pals are utilized to me consuming all the time. They do not even have a factor to question what I have in my cup, so they get extremely amazed when I inform them I haven't been consuming at all. Not then, nor at the party yesterday where we hung out together too.

You save A Lot loan.

I probably go out about 4-- 5 times per week.

That consists of happy hour, weekend outings and brunch. If you also count buying alcohol from the supermarket, it starts to build up.

Let's presume I go to dinner two times per week and I have two beverages at dinner. I would go to pleased hour about 3 times on average, usually drinking about 3 beers over the course of the night.

For brunch, we're respectable at discovering excellent bottomless mimosas or inexpensive beverages. Nevertheless, that's still about $10-- 15 each Sunday.

Then, if I purchase one good 12 pack of beer at the supermarket, I 'd be investing around $20 on that.

That's a quite great portion of money and well previous 10% of the average family earnings. Recognizing you're spending that much on alcohol hurts in more methods than one.

Quit Drinking Tips - You're Much healthier.

Similar to it's simpler to be productive when you're not hungover, it's easier to encourage yourself to work out. Although I do not require much persuasion to exercise in basic, whether I'm consuming or not, I went to the fitness center more frequently.

Instead of 2-- 3 times per week I would now be going 3-- 5 times instead. Thirty days might not suffice time to assess any quantifiable body results, however I feel fitter and healthier. And without the extra carb load from 3-- 6 beers every day I don't feel as fat. I can't say that I have actually lost any weight, but I do feel more powerful. I can probably thank my strength training for transforming my fat to muscle in that case.

In addition to working out more, I also prepare better dinners. Rather of having a number of drinks at delighted hour and after that being too lazy to prepare I spend more time in the kitchen and consume healthier food.

Ideas and outcomes.

In general, it was a fascinating difficulty. Now I know I can easily do it and can stop stressing over whether I'm slowly catching some satanic force illness I don't have.

The hardest parts of the obstacle were the happy hour times between 5 and 7 pm. There's just something so rewarding about a job-well-done drink that it was difficult to consider that up.

Strangely enough, the desire for a beverage dissipated relatively rapidly after dinnertime because at that point I had no desire to consume because of the possibility of being hungover in the morning. That's why the 5-- 7 pm amount of time is such a sweet area. You can relax and delight in a cold beverage with no big professional consequences.

The most significant modification was my increased workaholism. I understood that I work too much. The challenge made me more productive, but it didn't always make my life any much better.

I did have one of my finest months as an entrepreneur, was it ALL the consequence of not consuming? No, however being clear headed every morning and working most weekends assisted.

Overall, I found out a lot about self-discipline, productivity and substituting habits. Since I like my pleased hour too much, I do not believe I'm cut out for sobriety. It made me understand that waking up early and being efficient makes me delighted.

In my case, stabilizing the two, in moderation, appears like a good barometer for success.

Or as Óðinn would say,.

" Consume your mead, however in moderation,.

Talk sense or be silent:.

No guy is called discourteous who goes.

To bed at an early hour".

I help creatives build their online presence and teach them how to promote themselves online so they can reach more fans and increase their income doing what they like. Come say hi if that sounds like something you're interested in.

[zaraehedderman-blog]

State’s Videos of the Week #21

“OMG! I’ve a jittering case of FOMO RN cos YOLO. Bae, it’s BYOB 4 the Netflix’n’Chill sesh. BRB. K, G2G. TTYL.”*

There are a few reasons why it scares me that this is how a large portion of people are speaking to one another, presently. Shortcuts are no longer exclusive to finding the most time efficient route from one destination to the next. They’ve turned a corner and found a way into our conversational language. It’s sad that we’re losing touch with how we use words and have adapted to an unsavoury dependency of abbreviating almost everything we say. We’ve dumbed down language to avoid overly exerting ourselves and to seem efficient. The constant updating of social media has sped up modern interaction (we want to be the first to tweet about something, we send Snaps to friends that last seven seconds before they vanish) to the detriment of our rapidly depleting vocabulary.

It feels like everything now needs to be immediate, otherwise it loses relevance. This urgency is seen in all aspects of life, food, fashion and especially music. In the case of the latter, musicians and artists put under an unforgiving amount of pressure from record labels, management, critics and fans to produce new material constantly and consistently. If there is more than a two year gap between albums, the band is considered to be on hiatus only to make a comeback with their subsequent release. It’s baffling, and, in truth, unrealistic to place such expectations upon an artist. Just look at Frank Ocean and Bon Iver. They both released albums in 2011 and then went away for a while, taking time before they began work on new material. People became increasingly impatient (a by-product of this culture of urgency) with Ocean, in particular, but when he finally unveiled Blond(e) it was as though the anguish of the five year wait was forgotten in an instant because he had created a masterpiece full of honesty and ingenuity. He didn’t dilute his music because he didn’t succumb to the pressure of rushing or taking shortcuts. Too often are musicians forced into releasing new material when they aren’t entirely ready to because there is popular demand. You can always hear the disconnect between the musician and the music in the playing or the lyrics of those songs, and that transpires to the listener. We need to appreciate the vastness of our brains and be more excited about challenging, and stop looking for, everything to be so instant. Instant coffee isn’t desirable, neither is instant music.

*“Oh my god! I have a jittering case of fear of missing out right now because you only live once. Babe, it is bring your own booze for the Netflix and chill out session. Be right back. Ok, got to go. Talk to you later.”

Devendra Banhart – ‘Saturday Night’ (Nonesuch Records)

The audio for ‘Saturday Night’, surfaced online about a month ago, giving us an initial glimpse of Devendra Banhart’s newly released ninth album, Ape in Pink Marble (our review here). The single was described as overtly sexy and one suitable for those long autumnal evenings spent indoors, the ones where you chill and binge watch Netflix, obviously. ‘Saturday Night’, a lethargic drum pattern and oriental influence marks a completely different sound to the Venezuelan-American singer-songwriter’s previous albums, which were far more folk informed. The video for the song could not be further from what you would expect then, in encapsulating the lusty nature of the tempo. Devendra is accompanied by a dog and a few concerned looking babies in an empty bar. It’s a strange video and slightly uncomfortable to watch because Devendra and the babies look uneasy throughout.

Fake Palms – ‘Holiday’ (Buzz Records)

I love sweets, I have an insatiable sweet tooth. I adore smearing ice cream or melted chocolate on my face in public places for the amusement of my friends. I’m drawn to bold and bright colours. I really like dream-pop and find it immensely invigorating discovering new, independent bands. Naturally, I was instantly attracted to Fake Palms, the Toronto based quartet formed by Michael la Riche. La Riche began Fake Palms in 2011 but it only grew into its current formation last year. They’re definitely a band to follow, especially if you’re feeling a void in good guitar based indie-pop.

Bon Iver – ‘29 Stratford Apts’ (Jagjaguwar)

Last Friday a community of music enthusiasts rejoiced with the timely release of 22, A Million, the follow up to Bon Iver’s five year-old sophomore album, Bon Iver, Bon Iver. This has been an exceptional year for new records, it has also been one brimming with albums by artists that we have been waiting impatiently to hear new material from for five years (Frank Ocean and Bon Iver, coincidentally) and have delivered the strongest releases of the past nine months. Justin Vernon said that he needed to take time away from Bon Iver because at the time of touring their second album there was too much hype surrounding the music. Luckily Vernon didn’t feel like he needed to rush the writing, recording and mastering of a record in quick succession to maintain momentum. Instead, he took his time. He ventured into other projects and collaborations with other artists and then, when the time felt right he started to work on ten songs which would become 22, A Million. The passion and genius of 22, A Million is a testament to how important it is to be aware of your own time and to work at your own pace free from the stressful preoccupation of feeling the need to churn out music for the sake of reminding people that you still exist. Instead, do things because you want to, no matter how long it takes because then it will mean more to you and your audience. That’s how you make something that is timeless.

Drugdealer Feat. Ariel Pink – ‘Easy To Forget’ (Domino)

You can feel free of time when you’re aimlessly driving around or listening to effortlessly good music. You could easily lose a few hours listening to Drugdealer, the latest musical project by Michael Collins who formerly went by the monikers, Run DMT and Salvia Plath, respectively. Collins released The End of Comedy at the start of September and it’s a really enjoyable, very Californian sounding collection of songs featuring his friends and fellow musicians like Ariel Pink. The video perfectly encapsulates the environment of Drugdealer’s sound, a sunny atmosphere with a stoner edge. I cannot recommend The End of Comedy enough, especially if you have an crisp autumn afternoon to wile away.

Notable Mention….

The Weeknd feat. Daft Punk – ‘Starboy’

MTV caused a stir this week when they announced the list of nominations for the upcoming EMAs, which featured The Weeknd’s collaboration with Daft Punk on ‘Starboy,’ being recognised in the Best Video category. The controversy stemmed from the video receiving a nomination despite the fact that it had not been released. Once again, we’re subjected to powerful institutions playing a game to keep record companies happy instead of valuing good work. So, what is it that makes for a worthy video, according to MTV? Well, Abél Tesfaye cautiously moving through a darkened home furnished with an oil painting of Daft Punk reminded me of Justin Timberlake’s ‘Cry Me a River’ video. It was all I could think about. I was waiting for Tesfaye to find himself in the bathroom watching his supermodel girlfriend, Bella Hadid washing away a tiring day at the office in the shower. It isn’t a particularly spectacular or original concept, which is surprising then that it should be selected as a contender for best video, amongst Kanye West, Beyonce and Tame Impala who were the wildcard inclusion. It just shows how eschew the industry is sometimes and how content or originality are irrelevant.

http://state.ie/features/77169

Originally Published on State.ie, October 2016

State’s Videos of the Week was a column I wrote for State.ie from May 2016 - May 2017. It provided a summarised insight into music videos released each week.