#I feel a bit shitty today. I hope it won't get worse

[kunikidas-lost-glasses]

BSD college!AU headcanons - Study group on friday

TWs: Slight mention of OCD, Slight mention of heart palpations, slight mention of SH? I think? It's Fyodor's finger biting/hurting them in the process if that's triggering to someone.

It's all very slight though

Obviously thier mental health isn't as fucked up as in the canon universe here.

Also Oda is alive in this.

---------------------------------------------------

Usually, Dazai, Kunikida, Chuuya, Fyodor, Nikolai, Shibusawa, Sigma, Ranpo, Poe, Mushitaro, Yosano, Atsushi, Akutagawa, Higuchi, Bram, Gin, Lovecraft, Steinbeck, Louisa and sometimes even Jouno and Tecchou meet every Friday in the little Cafe close to their college in order to study together, do homework or just gossip about the day

They are all either majoring or minoring in literature so the all know each other in some way

It all started with Atsushi frequently joining Dazai, Chuuya and Kunikida after their lectures in order to study together with them because he dislikes studying alone.

Besides this, Dazai literally was his tutor for quite some time and still helps him out with homework sometimes (Atsushi still has to do a lot of convincing most of the time)

Atsushi actually picked the café because Lucy works there and he can see her more often now

Atsushi then told Akutagawa about their study sessions and begged him to come with him next time which he eventually did

Akutagawa then told Gin, Gin told Higuchi and so on

Dazai on the other hand once begged Fyodor to join them at the café once for whatever reason and Fyodor dragged Nikolai, Shibusawa and Sigma with him. Sigma told Bram, Bram told Lovecraft, and Lovecraft told Steinbeck

Ranpo is there because Yosano, who knew about the study group from Chuuya, convinced him to come too and he decided to drag Poe and Mushitaro with him.

Poe also told Louisa and Louisa was surpringly thrilled about coming with them to the café since her girlfriend works there

Jouno and Tecchou once decided to study at the café after their military training one day and saw the large group studying the same stuff as them and so they scooted over to that table to exchange some informations and to compare what they've written.

Since then, they sometimes join them once or twice a month

They don't just do their work for their literature course there. Fyodor is mainly coding something on his laptop for his coding major, Nikolai is revising his plays or makes Sigma read out the other roles while he revises his lines and Ranpo is whining about criminology being too easy and that college is unnecessary

Usually thier meetings are 50% studying and 50% gossiping

Thanks to Louisa, Lucy let herself get convinced to let them stay in the café even after it's closing time during the exam season

Bram and Lovecraft doze off nearly every hour so Steinbeck has to wake them up again all the time

Lucy coming to thier table, sitting down next to Louisa and chatting a bit during her short breaks is a thing

Her making sure that Louisa is doing fine and isn't overworking herself, kissing the top of her head and praising her but also roasting all the others for choosing to study and now suffering every few months because of exams while she decided to start to work instead of torturing her with even more school is a thing too

Ranpo often wears noise canceling headphones when the café is too crowded

They all grew kinda close to each other, some more some less, after some time. After all, they studied and talked together for hours every single friday

They also found out a lot about each other there

Bram found out that Dazai suffers from chronical pain aswell and now always keeps some less intense pain killers like the ones he has to take with him in case Dazai forgot his ones again with him

Sigma and Chuuya found out that the other suffers from OCD as well and now they always keep an eye on each other and comfort each other when it gets too bad

Dazai nearly always blasts pop music from 2010/2011 over his headphones

He is also always chatting with Fyodor for literal hours.

They don't get a change to chat for long super often due to Fyodor having afternoon classes and usually working until late at night while Dazai takes morning classes and works in the afternoon so those Fridays are great to finally talk with his best friend again

All of them bitching about the amount of work they have to do is a thing too

Atsushi loves the study sessions extremely much. He feels super comfortable in that group, even though he is admittably a bit scared of Nikolai, Shibusawa and Fyodor

Sigma and Atsushi always chat. Just like Dazai and Fyodor they see each other rarley during the week so this is a great opportunity on catching up on how the other is doing

The Perfect crime trio always orders an concerning amount of coffee

The tables which they shoved together to one big table are usually cluttered with laptops, papers, worksheets, books, plates with pasteries, headphones, cutlery, pencils and pencil cases, different kinds of folders, phones and a ton of cups

Due to this, Dazai, who only drinks his coffee decaf with sugar and not hot but warm, once accidentally blindly grabbed Fyodor's cup of hot black coffee and took a big sip while he was writing on essay on his laptop

Needless to say, he spit it out and dramatically complained and whined about the taste as well as about accidentally burning his tongue with the hot drink while also judging Fyodor for drinking such disgusting things

Fyodor just listened with a small amused smile and the judged Dazai for drinking decaf

Dazai complaining about literally anything is a thing too

Mostly he is complaining about studying

He can complain and whine about not wanting to do the work for college for hours

Chuuya and Kunikida are the complete opposite tho. They can work for hours without an break and especially Chuuya always works past his limits so Dazai has to keep an eye on them and especially on the redhead so that he won't end up horribly overworked and dizzy again

Shibusawa working quietly most of the time, only occasionally sliding his sketchbook over to Fyodor, Nikolai or Sigma, asking them what they think of his designs

He always has his one little lunch box with apple slices with him for some reason. He eats them when the employees of the café aren't looking

It's diffrent when he has an art/design block though.

He is in a horrible mood then most of the time, sketching sometimes only to skribble wildy over it again or he isn't even touching his sketchbook and is complaining about everything being so boring and every design looking dull then

Dazai "helping" Akutagawa with the latters tasks only to tell him the most cursed shit and giving him wrong answers is a thing

Usually Atsushi overhears it though or see the notes Akutagawa made and proceeds to lecture Dazai

Atsushi likes Dazai, that's put of question. He admires the older. But he's also so done with his shit like 80% of the time

Especially when he is messing with Akutagawa again

When Chuuya finds out, he usually smacks Dazai's head, scolding him for messing with Akutagawa (Chuuya took Akutagawa under his wing after and became his tutor after Dazai dropped him so by now he cares a lot about the younger student in a mentor/big brother kind of way)

Ranpo could technically help nearly everyone with their tasks but he only helps when he recrives payment in form of candy or other sweets. The more difficult the task or the more the work, the more candy he demands

Usually you get roasted about not being able to solve such an easy task too

So asking Ranpo for help is something you usually do if there is litarally no other solution

Ranpo or Mushitaro often hold Poe's hand under the table if the café is very groweded and they sense that he's becoming nervous again

During exam phases, everything is a tiny bit different and everyone looks pretty done with life

Dazai once even arrived to the café in his pyjamas during the exam phase

It actually made Fyodor laugh for the first time that day even though he tried not to laugh about it at first

The russian didn't looked any better though. He wore comfortable pants, a lavender zip up hoodie, had his hair tied up in a messed low pony tail and looked like he hadn't slept since days

His fingers were covered in colorful band aids for kids which Nikolai put on them after Fyodor bit them all bloody and wound again

No matter how long Dazai and Fyodor knew each other, it still felt weird to see him in other clothes than the black, white and lavender silky, a bit old fashioned but elegant looking clothes which he usually worse

Atsushi also looked like he hadn't slept since years, Yosano had wine in her water bottle, drinking it like water and looked like she was close to loosing her mind (she studies/majors in medicine), Chuuya had been overworking himself since the past week, Sigma had probably been through five panic attacks since Monday and Bram was just sleeping it off

It's not like for example Dazai and Fyodor think the topics are hard to understand and can memorize it in a matter of two days but it's the sheer amount of work which tires them out

Thier part time jobs, lectures, studying, it's all just a lot

Lucy supports them with regularly bringing them new coffee, tea and their favorite pastries to thier table (They happened to have them in stock. She absolutely didn't order them to made especially for them because she knew they were in the exam phase.)

Fyodor just dozing off on the table is a thing too then

Nobody dares to wake him though. For different reason

Some fear his anger, some are just happy that he finally gets some sleep

Poe and Nikolai usually bring thick plush blankets with them during that time and completely wrap themselves up in said blanket for comfort

Shibusawa once brought his sewing machine, sewing tools and fabrics with him and finished a whole outfit which he started sewing at his dorm at the café, completely unbothered by the stares he got by some costumers

Lucy keeps an emergency kit in a storage room ever since the study sessions became a regular thing

Chargers, tissues, pain killers, scotch tape, band aids, lavender pills, pens, ear plugs, pads, bandages, iron pills, you call it.

She often overhears them forgetting stuff so she made that emergency kit

She then, happened to have the needed item there by coincidence

She'd rather die than to admit she buyed stuff to help them

After the exam phase is over, Lucy opens the café for exclusively them on Saturday so that they can celebrate

Ranpo often simply snatches Mushitaro's tablet away from him when he notices that Mushitaro is close to getting a migraine again or when his heart palpations which are always acting up when he has a lot of stress, are acting up again so that he can't continue working on his tasks since he knows that Mushitaro is prone to work past his limits

When someone can't come to their study sessions, at least one of them, will send a long report about today's meet to them, usually with some solutions to some tasks attracted to the message

Sometimes Oda and Ango who happen to come to the café during their breaks, stroll over to the group, greet them and chat a bit with Dazai who's always excited to see them, already waving to them from his seat as soon as he sees them entering the café

[homestylehughes]

3 times nico wanted to kiss you and the 1 time he did.

pairing(s): nico hischier x fem!reader

summary: 3 times nico wanted to kiss you and the 1 time he did.

warning(s): absolutely none. pure sweet fluff :)

wc: 2.3k

an: hi loves! I'm so sorry for my lack of posting and staying on top of everything, life has been kinda kicking my ass recently BUT the show must go on! sooooo.. new nico fic! this is one of my favorite prompts of writing, so I hope you enjoy Nico's version! lmk if you'd like me to write anyone else to this! I loved writing this, and i hope you enjoy reading it! like and reblog if you do! I hope you all are healthy and well. much love as always<3

1.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Nico swore as he kicked the front door of his apartment. Today wasn't his day, first the devils lost their game in a shootout, a game that they should have won. Having to sit through mindless, annoying media after, putting nico in an even more shitty mood. Then he got stuck in traffic on his way back home, his phone died halfway home, and just as he got out of his car it started pouring causing him to get completely soaked. Just to top it all off, if his day couldn't get any worse, he somehow left his keys inside his apartment. Which led to the three kicks Nico gave to his door before dropping his head against the cold wood. 

Nico, too busy trying to wrack his brain on how to get into his apartment, didn't hear the elevator door open, as someone began to walk down the hallway. 

“Nico, are you alright?” a sweet voice says from behind him.

turning his head slowly to see yn, his attractive, sweet as honey neighbor standing next to him in the hallway. 

“Uh hi” he rasps put

“Hi” she replies sweetly, “are you okay?” she asks again

“Um, not really. I haven't had the best day, and I happen to lock my keys in my apartment.” 

“Oh no, im sorry” she says, a genuine look of empathy running along her face 

“Its okay, i'm just going to stand here until it magically opens” nico chuckles out sadly to her 

“If you'd like you could come post up in my place until you can get back to yours? I don't want you to sit out here by yourself all night.” she says softly

“Oh no, i don't want to be a bother”

“Nico you won't be a bother, and i'm offering so please” she says to him with pleading eyes

“Okay, thank you so much. I'll be out of hair as soon as i can” he smiles to her

“Don't even worry about it, you're more than welcome over at any time.” She smiles at him, turning on her heel to the other side of the hall to open her door, Nico following behind her, shutting the door after him. 

“I see you've changed some things, since the last time i've been here” nico says as he looks around her apartment

“I have! Changing it up a bit for the different seasons. Do you like it” yn asks shyly

“I do, its very..you” he smiles to her

“Thank you Nico, that's very kind.” 

“Oh! You're soaking wet, let me see if I have anything you can wear. Follow me” she says, turning away to make her way to what nico thinks to be her bedroom as he follows her.

“Yn you don't have too” he says, feeling bad that she's doing all of this for him 

“Nico please stop apologizing it's okay, i promise” her hands rummaging through her dresser as she speaks 

“Here! I have there huge sweatpants and shirt from my college days hopefully this works for you” she smiles, holding out the clothes in front of her

“This is great thank you” he smiles back, taking them from her hands. His gaze lingering a little longer than it should over her face, taking in the soft color of her eyes, as well as her smile, drinking each bit of her features as he could. 

“The bathrooms right down the hall, feel free to shower if you'd like. I'm about to get started on dinner” 

“Okay great, thank you so much again” nico says for the 15th time he thinks tonight

“Of course nico, whatever you need im always here” sending him another sweet smile, that almost makes him drop to his knees

“Well i'm going to get changed, i'll be down in a little” 

“Of course! I'll be in the kitchen, let me know if you need anything’’

Nico nods in response before finding the door to the bathroom, entering before closing the door behind him. Looking at himself in the mirror at his wet dog appearance. Sighing before turning around, opening the shower, turning on the water to the highest setting. Peeling off his wet clothing before getting in, the hot water is doing wonders for his sore body. 

The loss of the game, or being locked out of his apartment weren't on his mind anymore. The only thing he could think about was you, and how kind and sweet you were to him and how much he wanted to kiss you. 

2. 

Nico stands outside your door after delivering 3 heavy knocks in hopes that you're home. Since the night he spent in your place, you and Nico have gotten closer, meeting each other for coffee at least once a week, talking to each other in the hallway whenever you see each other, along with constantly keeping incontact over text. 

Nico who had been gone on a week and a half roadie is finally home, after learning one day when he was gone that you've never been to a devils game he decided that he wanted to change that, which leads him to where he is now. Holding a jersey with his number on it, in hopes that you'll wear it and 3 tickets for you and any two friends you'd wish to invite. 

Your door opens signaling that your home, nico perking up instantly once he sees your face.

“Nico! You're home hi!” you say, quickly pulling him a hug, pulling back quickly sending him a smile.

“I am, and i have a gift for you” he says with a smile

“Nico..what did i tell you about gifts” yn says sending him a slight pout 

“Oh shush, you're going to like this, here” he says holding the jersey and envelope in front of her to grab

Opening the envelope and looking at the jersey silently, pausing before looking up at him. 

“Nico this is so sweet” she says before pulling him another hug

“I hope to see you there, if you aren't busy” 

“Luck for you, im off that day” 

“Good, i can't wait to see you in my jersey” he says with a slight smirk on his face 

“Me neither..captain” she says sending him a wink 

Nico can feel his chest and his pants tighten at the nickname that rolls so smoothly off your tongue. 

“Well i'll let you get back to your night” 

“Right, thank you for this again, can't wait to see you in action in person.” yn says with a giggle

“I'll play my best just for you” 

“You better..captain. Goodnight nico” yn says, sending him another hollywood famous smile

“goodnight, yn” sending her one last smile, before turning towards his door, hearing her door softly shut just as he opens his. 

Entering his apartment, shutting it behind him, dropping his head against it. The only thoughts running through his mind is how would your lips taste against his. 

3. 

It's the night of the game you're attending and Nico couldn't be more scared as he steps on the ice for warmups. The whole team was already picking on him before the game in the locker room, when they found out a girl Nico was interested in was coming to watch the game tonight, thanks to jack. 

Making his normal rounds on the ice, practicing a few goals, passing a few pucks to jack and luke as he tries to settle his nerves. He spent the last two minutes of the warm ups looking all over for you in the stands, unable to remember where your seats are at, he hopes that you're somewhere in the stands. 

The warmups end as the team now gets ready for the start of the national anthem, lining against the blueline as the song starts. dropping his head, closing his eyes letting the song relax his nerves before the game. Once the song ends. He begins to skate off the ice, but not before he sees your face. 

There you are standing, in the stands with the brightest smile he's ever seen on your face. Your hair falls perfectly as you laugh at something one of your friends said, before turning back towards the ice where you lock eyes with him. Sending him a wave and smile, Nico flashing the same in return. His eyes taking over your jersey covered body, his jersey, his number, he can't help but feel a sense of pride as he looks at you one last time before making his way to the bench. 

“I know that look” jack says beside him, sending him a light shoulder push, “she's here isn't she?” he asks, already knowing the answer 

“She is, and she looks beautiful”

“You gave her your jersey didnt you?” jack asks a teasing smile on his face 

“ i did” nico replies meeting jacks eyes, his face now holding a shit eating grin

“Awwww little Nico's in love!” jack laughs 

“Shut up.” 

“When are you going to ask her out?” he asks 

“Soon, i hope” he replies 

“You really like her huh?” 

“I really like her” 

Really liking her as nico called it would be an understatement. He would give her the moon, and anything in between, if it would make her happy. He wants to know what it's like to take her on dates, wake up next to her everyday, and most importantly what it's like to kiss her. 

+1 

“Dinner at my place at 7?” reads the text from yn as nico checks his phone after practice, a smile spreading across his face as he responds sending, “i'll be there at 7:)” before setting his phone down, to finish getting dressed. 

“What's the smile on your face cap?” Jack asks from beside him, as he picks up his gear. 

“What, can a guy not smile anymore?” he replies 

“We know who put a smile on your face cap” Jack snickers to him. “So when are you gonna grow a pair and ask her out?” he asks, as he and Nico make their way out of the locker room.

“I don't know, maybe tonight? She invited me over for dinner. Sometimes i can't tell if she likes me or not” nico sighs out

“Dude.” jack says as he turns to look at nico

“You actually can't be serious. She's definitely into you. She literally came to her first NHL game and wore your jersey, AND she invited you over for dinner randomly. She definitely likes you.” 

“I hope so, i'll ask her tonight '' Nico says confidently, Jack's words finally knocking some sense into him. 

“You better, or I'll do it myself” Jack says with a smirk, Nico sending him a glare at his words causing Jack to let out a deep laugh as they make their way to their cars. 

“YOU BETTER DO IT!” jack says out his car window, as he pulls out 

“I WILL” Nico shouts back, sending him a thumbs up. 

As nick drives home the only thing on his mind is you, and how tonight he wouldn't back down, that tonight he'd ask you out, and maybe just maybe even kiss you. 

– 

Nicos hand slightly shakes as he goes to knock on your door, giving it a firm knock. His grasp on the bouquet of flowers tightens as he hears your footsteps on the other side of the door. 

“Hi” yn smiles at him as she opens her front door, stepping back quickly allowing nico to come in, closing the door behind them. 

“Hi, it smells wonderful in here. What's on the menu tonight chef?” nico asks as he follows yn into her kitchen 

“It's a surprise” she says, finally turning around to meet his eyes. Nico finally got a good look at her for the first time tonight. He can't help but stare at her, taking in all of her beautiful features, mesmerized by how effortlessly beautiful she is. 

“Nico?” yns sweet voice breaking him out his daydream

“Yeah?” 

“Are you okay? You kinda just stared at me for a sec” 

“Yeah yeah, I'm okay. Just got lost in thought. Oh! These are for you” he says trying to change the subject, holding the flowers out for her to take.

“Aw these are so cute! how'd you know these are my favorites?” yn asks, a bright smile on her face as she takes the flowers from him. 

“You told me” 

“Wasn't that like months ago?” 

“I try to remember everything about you. I know your favorite flower are tulips, and that you hate peas, how you only sleep on the left side of any bed." Nico cuts himself before he embarrasses himself anymore than he has. His face heats up with a deep shade of red as yn stands there staring at him wide eyed over his words.

“I'm sorry that was too much, and uncalled for.” he quickly says, in a miserable attempt to cover his tracks 

“No ones ever taken the time to ever know me like that before” yn says quietly  

“ I don't know why anyone would. Everything about you is perfect and beautiful” he says, finding her gaze. 

“Do you really mean that?” 

“I meant every word.” Nico says as  he continues to look at her. He can almost see the gears moving her head as she tries to find her words. Instead of speaking, Nico suddenly feels her soft lips against his. 

His body moving before his brain does, wrapping his hands around her face pulling her into his body, their lips moving in sync. 

“Wow” nico whispers, pulling away from her lips

“Why didn't we do that sooner?” yn says almost against nico lips, bringing her head up to look at nico whose hands are still around her face. 

“I don't know, but I think I want to do it again, '' Nico says before softly kissing her. 

[loganwritesprobably]

– Sanji with the 2° genre, prompt (u.) 🍡

You know, I never would've paired this prompt with Sanji, but I think its more harsh nature pairs itself well with a masculine reader, so that's what I'll do! This ended up being pretty long so everything is under the cut

Since this is the first one I'll be posting like this I'll just explain - anything where you only requested one character, I assumed was to be paired with a Reader, since I struggled with making a lot of them work as a solo thing.

Content/warnings: Sanji/M!Reader, hurt/comfort, getting together, reader is insecure, Sanji is kinda cruel at the start whoops, Sanji has a gay awakening

You'd been acting off all day, you knew you had, and while the crew hadn't mentioned it you were aware they'd noticed and that they were beginning to worry. Generally, you kept in high spirits. Not today. It wasn't any much, your insecurities had just been getting to you lately. You also felt ridiculous for letting that spoil your mood all day, which was only making your mood worse. You were the least attractive person on the crew, in your opinion (outside of Chopper because who is calling a kid attractive). Most days, you let yourself be confident in the fact that it didn't matter because that didn't make you ugly and you had a good personality so why did looks matter. Some days it bothered you anyway.

You were docked at an island while the log pose set, and pretty much all of the crew had received attention from people (of their preferred gender and not), outside of Chopper, but again, he didn't count (and he'd still had a group of teenage girls call him cute). You? You'd not gotten a single comment or even a look. It just made your stomach twist. It was stupid and you knew it, but it was eating you up inside. Worrying about that just led to more worrying about other things and you were spiralling a little even if you were attempting to pretend you weren't. It wasn't working.

"What's your problem?" Sanji asked as he emerged from the kitchen having just finished cleaning all the dishes from lunch.

"I don't want to talk about it, Sanji." He'd not gotten much attention from women, but oh boy had Sanji gotten attention from men. He'd brushed every one of them off, rather unkindly, and that hurt too. You'd had a bit of a crush on Sanji for ages now, but moments like that told you that you couldn't ever share that fact with the cook.

"Then stop moping! It doesn't help anything, and it's not great for the mood on board." He retorted with a roll of his eyes, and you rubbed a hand over your face with a sigh. You didn't want to lash out, but you really didn't have the emotional availability to be kind in that moment.

"Sorry Sanji, my bad, I'll just pack it all up and ignore it all - God forbid I have fucking feelings." You snapped, pushing off the railing of the Sunny where you'd been leaving to walk away. You didn't want to deal with his shitty attitude today of all days.

-·—·-—-·—·-

You'd hidden away to calm yourself down, then taken a shower to release some of the negative feelings you'd had pent up. Residual negative emotions lingered, of course they did, but you were more prepared to push them aside and put on a happy face. You emerged on the deck and sat down with Robin to talk about the book she'd been reading, allowing yourself and your better mood to be more easily seen by the crew.

"What happened? You really looked upset." Nami asked after a few minutes, having come to sit in her usual spot beside Robin.

"Oh, nothing. Just had a chat with Sanji." You said with a shrug, smiling at them as best as you could.

"I hope you're not spoiling these ladies days with your foul mood." Sanji said as he appeared with two drinks, one for each of the ladies in question. Robin and Nami snapped their heads to look at him, unbelieving he could be so cruel.

"No don't worry Sanji - I took your advice and just got over it. Won't catch me moping again. I'll keep that to myself from now on." You replied, mock kindness on your face and in your voice. You weren't going to start an argument with him, but that didn't mean you couldn't be passive aggressive at least. He fixed a hard gaze on you, but kept his smile in place. Wisely, he said nothing, and left the drinks for Nami and Robin before swiftly returning to the kitchen.

-·—·-—-·—·-

You spent the rest of the day avoiding Sanji, even having asked Robin to save you a plate of food so you could eat away from the rest of the crew and mainly away from Sanji. She'd delivered your plate loyally, and just gave you a smile before leaving you to eat in peace.

Eventually though, the plate did need to be returned to the kitchen. It'd long since gone dark, and you were just hoping that Sanji was elsewhere by now.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," you heard muttered from the kitchen, pausing outside to listen to whoever was so frustrated inside, "can't even be nice just for once. He just makes me so-" it was Sanji, of course it was. You weren't sure what else you'd been expecting. But he was in there, scolding himself, and it sounded like he was doing it over how he'd treated you.

You didn't knock, just pushed open the door and let yourself in, plate still in hand. Sanji stopped stock still, staring at you as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have. You gently set the plate down on the table, pausing for a moment before turning as if to leave again.

"Wait-" Sanji called out, making you pause. There was another beat of silence while the cook found his words.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, hesitating before continuing, "I was unnecessarily cruel. You didn't deserve that."

"Yeah." You simply said, because just saying that wouldn't make him forgiven. You'd never done anything to him, you'd both just always had a joking friendship, where you'd take playful jabs at each other. They were never genuinely cruel.

"I just-" he paused again, fighting with himself to find his words, "you make me.. feel a lot of things that I don't know how to deal with. I just look at you and it all.. bubbles up inside of me and for some reason the only thing that ever gets out is something mean. What I said earlier was too far, and I am sorry. I was just worried." He finished, and you finally turned to face him. Sanji was flushed red, wringing his hands as if he was fighting not to put them elsewhere - his hair your brain helpfully supplied.

"Okay," you started, nodding slowly, "but that isn't a good reason. You didn't even try to get me to tell you. You didn't probe at all, you were rude when you asked what was wrong and then accused me of ruining the atmosphere on the Sunny. That's what you told me and best you can come up with is you were 'feeling a lot of feelings'?" You asked, growing more and more angry, but also more upset. You knew you couldn't have Sanji the way that you wanted him, but you'd at least wanted him as a friend. Maybe that was too much to ask for.

"I'm sorry! I'm not good with words - I can't make my brain tell my mouth what I'm thinking and I really want to help you understand even if you don't forgive me." You would forgive him, you knew you would, this would be petty to lose him over and would jeopardise the crew. But you couldn't be the same after this.

"Try."

"It's different than with other people. You feel- you make me feel different. I don't understand why. I just look at you and it's like.. the whole world stops moving for a minute," Sanji leaned forward, resting his hands on the table and stared right down at the wood rather than looking at you, "I've never felt like that before. It's scary. How am I meant to deal with something I don't understand? So I'm mean to you instead because maybe then it'll go away? I know it sounds stupid. And then when we're out and people look at you.. something just comes over me. I hate it. I just glare at them until they back down because they're not allowed to look at you like that."

You understood suddenly what Sanji was talking about. All this time you'd been so sure of what you couldn't have and in the background Sanji was having his gay awakening because of you. You were desperately trying to hold back, but you couldn't help laughing. He shot up straight as if he'd been struck, wounded by your laughter.

"I'm sorry- I know this is serious. I promise I'm not laughing at you, just the situation really. Sanji.. you have a crush on me. That's what that is." You told him, slowly approaching to close the space between you two.

"No! I- I like women." He defended, but he was hesitant, as if your words had given him clarity.

"Sure. But you also like me."

The two of you stood, silent, staring at each other. You, waiting for Sanji to decide what the next move was, and Sanji, processing the new information. In retrospect, he realised it was a little obvious.

"I acted like a little boy pulling on a girl's pigtails." Sanji muttered, suddenly a little humiliated.

"Yeah, a little bit." You agreed, and the cook just sighed. You both fell into quiet laughter finally, the tension of the entire situation drifting away.

"So uh.." Sanji started after a while, you let him find his words before responding, "what now?"

"That's up to you. I've liked you back for a damn long while now, but you've only just realised. You can go and take your time to process that new part of yourself if you w-" you didn't get to finish your sentence before Sanji's lips were on yours for the first time.

Yeah, now you definitely wouldn't be the same after this.

Requests are open! See below links for my other works, and how to leave requests. I write both canon/canon and canon/reader requests for your enjoyment

AO3 | Fanfic Masterlist | Request Rules | Fic Trades Guide | WIPs

Tags: @claryeverlarkf

[crippleswag]

6h late to the rant but OH GOD this is gonna be a nightmare of a semester from gym class alone

yesterday (monday) I was tryna participate in gym class cuz despite being disabled I typically don't mind most gym activities, but heres a thing with whatever specific chronic pain I have: I won't realize I pushed my physical breaking point until it's way too late. Like I'll be chilling and then suddenly the worst migrane will hit, followed by my entire body simotaniously wanting to spasm and being unable to move due to the intense pain. To the point that when I asked the gym teacher to sit out (which he let me do no problem cuz he knew my issues) I could barely walk to the outside of the gym (where my friends were cuz one was recovering from a panic attack) and once I got out there I was basically unable to move due to a mix of having to stand still as for my body to not completely go haywire and because more movement = more pain. At some point both me & the friend who was sitting out cuz panic attack both ended up laying on the floor cuz they were lightheaded and my body was about to either go haywire or tense up enough to where I couldn't move so I wanted to atleast be on the ground just incase, and while the friend who was lightheaded got actual help from the 2 other friends sitting out for no reason I was just given a bunch of shitty jokes and sarcastic "are you okay?"s and after admitting that I genuinely wasn't okay (as if me going on about the fact that my body was doing everything wrong at once wasn't a major hint that HEY I WASN'T FINE.) the only one who rlly stepped up to help me was the friend I was the closest too and she helped me sit up and attempted to get a tylenol from the office for me (couldn't because I had to be there to get it. bad thing to say when the "I" in question is currently unable to walk but that secretary just seems to want me dead for being crippled anyways) while the other 2 friends were too busy making jokes abt how they wanted to fuck eachother to even glance over at me. Fastforward a bit and gym ends, gym teacher helps me stand up, friend who had to sit out cuz of a panic attack talks to gym teacher abt stuff I didn't care to eavesdrop on and I barely manage to get in and out of that changing room. my body still feels like its pain-burning (like. its almost like a burning feeling but without the heat and just the pain) today and I'm debating just missing school today cuz of this. fuck my dumbass body's inability to know when to stop until its too late and fuck Kat & Quade who couldn't get their eyes off eachother for a second to try and give a shit about another human being

honestly can’t really imagine what it’s like to have ablebodied friends as a physically disabled person, well i have one but they’re incredibly helpful, and it must be so disappointing to have your ‘friends’ ignore you like that. i’m truly sorry that you had to experience that & you deserve so much better.

you truly think that your friends will be there, and when they’re not, it’s really hard to grasp honestly. like, do you not care?? (you as in the friends).

i’ve had many one sided friendships where i’ve had to do all the work, while getting nothing in return myself. it truly feels like a betrayal.

i’m incredibly happy to be surrounded by physically disabled friends, because in a special way, i can ALWAYS rely on them. there are days where their issues are worse than mine, or they are hindered by their physical disability so they can’t help with something; but they will always think about how they can help in case they can’t help in a specific way. it’s just a completely other experience than with able bodied ppl.

i truly hope you’ll get surrounded by more physically disabled people in your life, it’s a game changer.

much love to you, and i with a low pain/symptoms day for you! (and otherwise, the ability to manage the pain/symptoms)💚

[blogfortheblorbosfnafdca]

Fnaf daycare attendent x reader on my mind today, I may have plenty of other writing projects I'm working on, but damn I do get some little inklings for them.

Honestly I don't even know what kind of au I'd write, I mean I love the more robotic aspect of the attendent. Both Sun and Moon struggling with the restrictions of Fazco is very tasty to me, I eat it up with a spoon every time. I like the readers who interact with them at the pizzaplex, either as mechanics, assistant attendants and so on.

One has gripped me more so recently. Bones-of-a-rabbit started it with their fic honestly, and it's an intriguing concept, a reader who is a staffbot. Call me a bit biased because I first got into the hype of the daycare attendent x reader thorough bamsara's fic. Joe the gas station bot is a noteworthy note. But I do love me some staffbots.

So an idea started forming after I watched markipler play help wanted 2. It's nothing I've really sat down and fleshed out, but I do like to expand it every now and again. I consider it my little thought project. Spoilers ahead. Also this gets a bit existential and angsty.

In one of endings it shows that the human becomes the mask bot in fnaf ruin. And there's this weird thought of, did the two switch places? Is the being swapped under the control of the whole virus thing? Can this process happen with anyone?

That's when I thought of, what if reader staffbot accidentally became human? At first they are ecstatic because now they don't have to worry about getting deactivated and they can do whatever they want now...right?

But they find that being human, while it has some perks, has even worse downsides than they couldnt have anticipated from just watching humans. Like for example, getting sick, joint problems, limbs can't be replaced easily, only one body, pain from anything, etc. What makes this worse is mainly the fact that now they don't have anyone they're familiar with anymore, the human family they end up apart of isn't their's, the friends that surround them are unfamiliar, the people they do know are all back at the pizzaplex and they won't recognize them as the staffbot they knew.

The reason why they wished to be human, becomes something of regret, because in losing the bots they cared about all they wanna do is reverse it. For mine in particular there's no way to do so, I don't know how it becomes irreversible, it's possible that it comes from Fazco's doing of erasing what they can of the glitch, which is the thing that even let the reader swap in the first place. They feel even more guilt because they also understand there was a human they swapped places with, which means their possible death or life stuck as a staffbot is their fault.

So they mourn their losses and decide to get to know their friends in the pizzaplex as a human. In hopes to create a better life for their friends as they have access to things they don't. And really? End goal? Probably helping them escape, because even if they couldn't escape as a staffbot without consequences, they'll make sure nobody else has to.

I don't know if this is like a rebuilt pizzaplex or an entirely new establishment. I don't even know what to do with this really, but I like unpacking 'becoming a real boy' trope. Also I have never seen it explored in this way I suppose, not with the 'Oh this is great cause I'm human now' like, c'mon, human bodies and living life as a human does have some real shitty things to deal with. We have some perks, but like would a robot really want to give up the ability to replace body parts for exact same body parts if needed? Or the fact that they can figure out problems faster because they don't have to worry about memory problems? A little bit of a ramble, I digress.

But yeah, I honestly would like to make this into something more, but right now I got other fanfics and I'm swamped with life right now, so my creativity is taking a hit. I've been playing around with this concept in my head for a while, just never executed it. If this ramble gives inspiration to you, please do @ me, I'd love to see what you've come up with!

[gengarcrystal]

something really shitty happened to me last night

bumped into a colleague last week at our annual bbq, someone who used to work in my department and retired at the end of last year. mutually agreed we should go for a drink sometime to catch up. normal stuff right?

but instead of being a normal outing like i expected, like i was led to believe would be the case, he had another motive because he spent the entire time coming onto me, behaving in deeply inappropriate ways.

making comments about my body and looks; in the car he kept making comments about how good i looked and the way he was looking at me made me uncomfortable. but i tried to be like, well it's very different to what i wear at work, shorts and a strappy top rather than jeans and a t-shirt (engineering production has ruined so many of my clothes that i do not bother past this). but these comments were repeated far too often and the looks were really pointed and obvious.

then when we're sat at the pub he tells me, totally disconnected from what we were talking about, that he's "always wanted to kiss me", i have "such kissable lips". he asked me for one and when i said no replied with "i'll have my kiss by the end of the night." like fuck no, you actually won't?????

then, he started telling me how his wife is sick, oh he'd never leave her because he's loyal and she gave him his kids, but he's got sexual appetite he needs to fulfil, he used to be so conflicted but now is waiting for a woman in the same boat so they can fulfil each other, "it's not about hurting anyone—". as if nobody would be deeply hurt by their partner cheating on them because they can't provide, because they're deeply sick.

and then he asked me what the most "exciting thing" i've ever done was. take your guesses what he wanted to hear.

as if it couldn't get any worse; at some time earlier on, before it got so bad, i was talking about an area where i live that has a nice view and that at sometime i want to go there to view the sunset. he suggested we go there after. i didn’t really agree to it, kinda half-hearted my reply and made a remark about how it will be a nice time of night. by the time we left, i was so incredibly uncomfortable that i wanted nothing more than out of there and specifically asked him to take me straight home, saying i was tired and felt a bit unwell.

but he drove to that spot. he still drove there, and he did so with the intent of us getting out the car. "i hope there's a parking spot," he said, as he turned into the road. i've never been so mortified in my life. so embarrassed, so uncomfortable. and then as there's no parking space so we turn around and leave, thank god, he's telling me how he "knows all these spots because i used to come here with girlfriends."

and he asked for a kiss again before i got out the car. AGAIN. despite my clear, visible discomfort by that point.

the thing is, this man is older than my dad. he is five years older than my own dad. i am half his age. i have excellent relationships with many of my colleagues, almost all of whom are older than me, and there's no issue with me going out with people older than me in that way—there are people i go out with frequently, who value me in their lives as i do them in mine. people who treat me like family. there should have been no issue going out with this person.

i feel so violated by what happened. dirty. betrayed, frustrated, upset. i thought he wanted to see me to actually invest time, to catch up as people on the same level. i was not expecting this to happen. and it actually makes me feel sick to remember everything that happened and was said to me. i didn't feel threatened at any time but i'm left with this deep-seated discomfort, this feeling of being treated like an object rather than a person, and i feel so much worse about it today than i did after it happened because now all the rage has dissipated i just feel so fucking uncomfortable and upset. even though i bumped into other people afterwards and that helped at the time, today everything's melted away to leave me feeling so hideously uncomfortable.

no, not every man is problematic, but every woman has had an experience like this that puts her on edge for life, makes her feel she has to be on her guard all the time around men. there is a reason i find it impossible to even think of being in a relationship with someone i'm not friends with first, someone i have an understanding of and feel safe with.

and yet, in some cases even then i don't truly know someone, because this person is the last person i would have expected to do this to me. i feel hideous. i never want to see him again.

[heartfucksmouth]

warmed up frozen blueberries and mashed them, mixed with oatmeal cereal and a little bit of almond milk. breakfast for Aidan!

mashed up black beans, mixed with rice cereal and a bit of formula. dinner for Aidan!

managed to buy 8 more jars of puree to hopefully stretch til WIC kicks in. thankfully he's started some solids so he loves all fruits, and cereal puffs and cheerios, and he can eat chicken and broccoli we cooked for dinner tonight.

the pit in my stomach when I saw we were low on his food and we both are right on money right now and all the bs with ebt... God nothing feels worse than being scared I won't be able to feed my child. me and myles both agreed we would skip meals if it meant having Aidan and Zazu eat. I'm hoping things will work themselves out soon though.

Hip surgery is on for June 13. 2-3 weeks on crutches with minimal weight bearing, then a post-op appointment and PT. I'm not that nervous about the surgery itself, I'm freaking out about having enough help with Aidan and everything else I'm used to being responsible for. it's always tough for me to grapple with feeling useless, I'm a very independent person.... but I straight up have no choice with this surgery! I want myles to feel supported and that it's not all on him (and my mom) so I posted on fb for people to volunteer their time if they can. myles parents say they will help... but they're not very dependable and even when they do help, myles mom often makes us feel like it's an inconvenience. it's just uncomfortable with the tenuous dynamic between us.

his parents are away tonight (and yesterday) and the difference is palpable - in a GOOD way. ww made dinner, played with Aidan, we folded laundry and did dishes, Aidan was asleep by 6ish... all after being in Boston this morning for my appointment. we aren't exhausted or overstimulated and i swear it's bc they aren't here pecking at everything we do. I didn't even get a nap today and I survived the evening and I'm in a good mood besides the main worries I just stated. like, I'm proud of us. it was a busy productive day and we made it through. it's wild how toxic the atmosphere gets with their presence. I just wanna get out of here so we can be our weird neurodivegent selves and get on with daily life.

I also have a tilt table test in August to finally confirm my POTS which will hopefully help my fucjed up blood pressure situation.

I'm really hoping I can rebuild my stamina and strength train once my hip is recovered. I know other surgeries are undoubtedly in my future, but I wanna get fucking strong so hopefully I can give my shitty connective tissue more of a break, and recoveries will be easier. and so I can lift my giant kid a little longer before he's gonna need to start carrying me lol. even going to pelvic floor PT makes me feel good about myself. I can feel my core getting stronger again and that helps e v e r y t h I n g. PT always makes me feel good though, bc i can see the progress and know I'm not hurting myself more.

OK bedtime, I've got more appointments tomorrow hashtag professional patient

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend and I don't know about you but I'm so, so tired. Amazing how the rush of excitement I got at seeing the promo pics for an actual dramatic emergency could instantly be taken out by a 7 second promo. I feel like KR got the news well before the official announcement and said "I'm going to turn this finale into everything I want", and basically decided to push everyone but Buck to the sidelines and make them observers while pairing him with her failed self-insert. And ugh, the only thing equally as bad as the prospect of L being involved in saving everyone is the prospect of the emergency just being like a quarter of the episode and us wasting the rest of the time on wrapping up Buck's many, many, many storylines. I know we don't know for sure this is what would happen, but KR has given us no reason to think it won't. Frankly I think we should let ABC know that should they, in taking over 911, choose to retcon anything (or everything) from the last two seasons we're okay with that, and no questions will be asked.

And yeah, I can definitely agree that while Buck taking over during a crisis would be a nice way to get closure on his doubts from episode 1, the path there (if one can call it a path, which implies it goes somewhere) makes absolutely no sense. I don't even want to think about how they are going to shove Natalia (I think she's around next episode?...still) and a baby into the whole mess. I honestly would have easily taken 50% less Buck this season if they had just taken the time do the leadership arc well and have this grand emergency to show that off.

So while I'm kind of resigned on the finale for OG, I have a bit more hope for the LS one, though I too am hard side-eyeing the "earn the wedding" comments. Who exactly has to earn this wedding? The audience? They make the effort to tune in regularly despite some pretty shitty writing choices, I think they're owed a debt. The characters? Not sure how two people being in an long-term relationship and seeing each other through hardships hasn't earned them a wedding. We'll see what happens, but at this point its the odds are 50/50 that this "tragedy" will involve either a hospital or a crime scene (or both)

Hi my friend! I have been under the weather this week and ended up being out of town all day today so I am *literally* tired, but also I am WITH you on my excitement for the finale getting sucked away by half that promo being of L and her once again butchering line delivery on something as minimal as "mayday" 🙄 I already got my hopes up for a good firefam feels focused episode and got let down by 6x11 SO HARD, so I'm just going to operate under the worst assumptions that way I can, hopefully, end the episode with a "could have been worse I guess". Although I went into 6x17 with zero expectations and the show still managed to let me down anyway soooo 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm sure KR knew something was up, the negotiations were *rough* last year so I'm sure they were all told to prepare. And since it's something the show usually does, wrapping up nicely each season, it won't feel out of place, however I'm also worried the emergency won't be that long. Seasons 2-4 all had a cliffhanger in the penultimate episode to get people to tune in to the finale but 6x17 did NOT give people a lot of reason to HAVE to tune in. At least s5 made the effort of showing that firetruck crash like 8000 times over the week and making it look like Bobby was in danger, even if it was just a 5 min emergency that ultimately didn't do anything at all or affect anyone. They couldn't even be bothered to give a promo until Friday and without a cliffhanger, what's the hook to draw everyone in for the finale? Because you know those casual viewers are scouring the internet for news about the show, hell, most of them probably figured with no promo that 6x17 WAS the finale! Madney got engaged which is usually a season finale thing so I wonder how many of them though that was it!

"I honestly would have easily taken 50% less Buck this season if they had just taken the time do the leadership arc well and have this grand emergency to show that off." 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 SAAAAAAAME. They should have spent less time trying to turn everything about his storylines into a joke and actually delved into HIS emotions more. Instead we got the whole sperm baby now being about some rando characters we don't even know or care about's emotions for some reason?! His death being turned into "haha funny math skills for ONE episode only!" And this whole death doula thing where we haven't even heard them actually really talking about anything and what we did see was her being DEEPLY insensitive and unempathetic for her line of work, and then a parade of Buck's awful choices to remind everyone of them for??? What reason exactly? To give her a reason to leave? When after what we've seen we....didn't even need her in the first place? Like, WHAT has she actually said or done that has actually been meaningful or addressed Buck's death? We saw some of the aftermath in his talk with Eddie at the cemetery but what purpose besides giving Buck another LI he met on a call is she actually serving? Anything important could have been imparted by a victim at a call, and that triggered Buck to talk to someone in his firefam (OR HIS THERAPIST FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST!), and given us a peek into Buck's head about it. Instead we have wasted all this time on what? An excuse to bring two of the most audience hated characters back? WHAT?! Like, literally, who allowed this to happen? WHOMST in that production team looked at this absolute mess that KR presented as an idea and said "yeah, that works!" ?!?!?!?! Sorry, I'm too grouchy to try and make sense of this, it's just SO stupid and such a waste of time, the ONE thing KR is good at.

As for LS, I still haven't gotten to watch last week's episode. I'm hoping to watch it tomorrow but at this point I'm just watching that show with an "eh. This might as well happen I guess" because I'm out of energy for much more than that. I've seen some of the spec floating around but mostly I'm just excited that we were all right and Paul is officiating. Bobby is gonna be sooooo jealous. But for real, WHAT is this idea on shows that characters have to "earn" happiness and that always meaning that someone like, dies, or they have to be miserable in 98% of the episodes to get one or two happy scenes before the next tragedy strikes? Because I think the WRITING should have to earn the payoff and neither show has managed to do that this season.

Here's expecting the worst so we aren't TOO disappointed, while holding space to be happy if Andrew manages to get around the nonsense KR insisted on to give us a decent emergency because I doubt we'll get a satisfying wrap up for anything else on the Buck or Eddie front. Maybe we'll get extra lucky and the backlash after this week (and on that TVLine article, seriously what did they expect with that question?) will get L's scenes cut as much as possible again. For old times sake. Pretty much every article comment space, review space, and SM space I've seen has been pretty clear about KR needing to be gone so here's hoping ABC is taking notes! At the very least, their promo team can't possible be worse, right?

[rainbowbastic]

I NEED an advice. God, Im feeling so shitty lately. I won't to eat, I can't get sleep easy, I wake up so early, and in the rest of the day, I can't stop to think in this girl. I tell you what happened and I hope read for a sincere advice.

I met this amazing girl similar in age to me, we just talked when we had this class, she was my teacher for this ocassion, I never ever know or seen her before, because I was invited to this event. So, when I interacted with her I feel so good, I felt listened, I felt cared, felt like I could be vulnerable, I felt in peace, I felt that if I made a mistake I could be helped and not ashamed, I felt like I'd talk for hours, but we just had around 3 hours for the class. She was like that with everyone in the class, she was kind and she knew how to make people feel good with her words and her gestures. I just met her one week and these daily 3 hours, and somedays, a little minutes more.

The last day that I knew I'd see her, I thought that I never ever will see her again, and I took courage to write a letter where I talked about how fine I felt with her and her class, how grateful I felt after all that week... and when I was writing that note, I thought that I'd be sincere for this time and write how I felt romantically about her, I write that she had a lot of beauty qualities and that "I'd like to have a girlfriend like her". I end the note hoping a lots of love for her life.

When I had the opportunity to give her the letter, I was reggreting it, but I took the last courage that I felt since then, and I gave her the letter, thinking that after that, I never see her again. Wrong, horribly wrong. I see her another 2 or 3 times, and I had these desperate intrusive thoughts where she read the note, she not, she liked it, she not, even if she hated me that much so she could find me and talked to me for how she isn't a lesbian (even she could be homophobic), that she may felt angry and unconfortable for that note... a lot of possibilities haunting me even today.

I had been crying a lot when I had chance to do it, I feel better after crying and I calm down a bit, but then I remember, I reggret, I feel horrible person, and I do not know what to do!!!

I do not know if a letter like the one I gave to her needs a response (to me), for first I just wanted to tell her how I felt, I wasn't expecting for a response, but after give her the letter I couldn't think the same, and I do not why I thought and feel this way!

After giving her the note, and after thinking in all the possibilities, I thought that I shitted big it, that I could be slowly and asked her for a friendship first, that I could meet her and know her better, that I couldn't need to be that obsessive and compulsive. I brainwashed me that I won't something romantic with her, but in the deep I do. And all this stuff around my mind make me feel miserable. I feel even worse when I thought that she could feel bad with that, that she hated me, she's scared of me, she never want to see me again, and if we do, that she reject me in a painful way, ignoring me, or something like that.

I usually asked for an advice with my sister but she is working and she had a lot of stuff in her own bussiness.

If you read all it, please give me an advice. I can not be like this way more, I even feel angry with me but I be mean to my family, I feel my chest empty, I feel hungry but I can't eat, I won't move, I won't to do nothing.

I was thinking that I could contact her and explain me, but then I think that I shouldn't do that, that I said the things I wanted to and that I didn't said nothing wrong in the letter, but also I wanted to know what she thinks about me, that if I have a chance to meet her well. But I do not want to be seen as an stalker, I thought it was enough stalker for me with that letter.

I know that there is the most probable option: that I never seen her again and I'll forget all this in few days or weeks, but if I couldn't? If I do not talk to her she even may think that I wasn't that interested in her, if she thought this way after reading the letter.

[fentrashcat]

Instinct or tic? My least favorite game.

This won't be a fun post, so I plan to follow it with a positive one. I don't like posting only negatives, but living with a neurological disorder is going to have negatives.

⚠️TW- Mental health, talking about fender bender and unsafe driving, some strong language

A reminder- everyone with tic disorders will have a different experience, I can only speak to mine.

There's been a lot building up this week, and today was a breaking point. I had a tic attack that resulted in a migraine, nausea, quite a bit o neck/back pain, and concerns about if something was a tic or not.

All because some asshole thought he'd be funny and swerve towards the parked car I was in.

I have SEVERE anxiety about cars and driving already, to the point that a simple fender bender (no injuries, minimal damage thankfully) almost had me in an ambulance bc I couldn't stop ticcing and the responding officer was concerned.

I was waiting for someone in the store, parked on the left side of the lane (important bc I'm in the US, so he should've been on the right side). He swerved directly towards the car I was in, coming within a foot of the hood, and just laughing like it was the best joke ever told.

That got me started ticcing when his piece of shit car squealed sway like a pig caught by the tail. My tics got worse, and I cussed at him. I yelled out "fucking asshole". Now that's not unusual, I cuss a lot and especially cuss unsafe drivers, but normally when my tics are that severe I can't think to put together 2+2. So now I get to play the gods awful game of "instinct or new tic".

Normally I can immediately say instinct but bc my tics were so severe and non stop, I had a constant "prompt" feeling. And I got a mildly different prompt before I said it.

My current hope is that it was instinct, but it was a very similar feeling to my Rando prompt. My Rando tics have not made me cuss that I can remember, even with the song lyrics.

All I can do now is wait and see, and hope I never see that asshole and his shitty car again.

I feel like it shouldn't need to be said but cars are dangerous and shit like what that guy did is just reckless and stupid. My issues aside, if he hadn't turned in time (like the busted front of his car suggested has happened before), he could have seriously hurt me, himself, or the people in the car with him.

I hope this made sense to read as I have not slept since the tic attack, which is normally the very first thing I do after them, but being tired means my anxiety is supressable enough to actually post this 😅. Also I tried to keep my language about this guy toned down, but I can't do much better than I have here.

Thanks for reading, and please drive safely. Happy post about a good person to counter this bs coming as soon as I can type it.

[nerdynikki94]

Man, I'm still bothered by DTAMHD last night. Afterwards, I had to watch MFHP (I watched the dance 3 times) just to remind myself that once upon a time, Sunny actually took serious risks for character growth. Like, i just sat there, crying with my wine, saying "Remember when they fucking did that".

I hoped it would make me feel better about the prospect of Dennis' possible growth in the far off future, but honestly, the more I ruminate on it, the less invested I feel. Dennis isn't going to get that moment. I think RCG have related Dennis too much to their shitty fans (you know which ones I'm talking about), that they've decided he gets no emotional relief. (Which is so fucking counterproductive and harmful, because we are fucking constrained by a patriarchy that is getting worse and more controlling, filled with men who Dennis embodies, and it's just going to get even worse until those assholes get therapy.) Point being, giving up on Dennis' character growth will mean more harm than good for Sunny.

I literally woke up in a bad mood thinking about watching the ep last night. I even took today off (because it's my bday) to re-watch and analyze. But I just can't get myself to. I've rewatched every single episode of S16, at least 3 times each (even TGGB-which was painful), but I'm too letdown to watch DTAMHD a second time.

Maybe I'm coming across as a bit dramatic, but DTAMHD just confirmed my biggest fear that Dennis will never get that same chance to grow. His character is who he is, and he won't ever be held accountable for his actions, and he'll never acknowledge the fucked up trauma that he's gone through.

Great! Thanks, I hate it. Worst birthday present ever.

[jackson--t]

Hi ! I hope you're doing well. I've had an idea for a one shot and though I could write it myself I don't think it could ever come out as beautiful as if you would write it so here it is.

I was thinking of Ivar and Heahmund as a couple. They haven't really had to spend too much time away from each other because whenever ine traveled with work the other would come along so maybe this time Ivar has to go alone because it's urgent and Heahmund can't come along cause he's stuck at work and unable to take a few days off. I was thinking Ivar would be so homesick. Like unable to sleep and stuff. And though he would have had to spend around a week away he won't be able to stay away for so long and return 3 days later and surprises Heahmund and they cuddle q lot and Ivar barely let's Heahmund go anywhere because he's touch starved.

You don't have to write it. It's just an idea but if you fancy it and want to I would feel honored to have my idea written by you and also very happy. Thank you ! Love ya!

Hello my dear, and I feel so honored that you want me to write this idea of yours! ❤️ As I already told you, it was a huge pleasure for me as I can identify myself with that situation very well, and I really hope that you like what I wrote and it turned maybe a little bit out the way you wanted it. Thank you so much! ❤️

Three days

Words: ~ 3k.

It's all pure fluff and stuff, and a bit of missing, obviously. xD

Ivar clenched his hand lightly around Heahmund's; he had been afraid, damned afraid of this day that was coming anyway - and it had just been there far too quickly, far too fleetingly, and most of all - far too hard.

He could feel Heahmund squeezing his hand a little tighter as well, but the big man only smiled slightly, while Ivar could already feel the tears in his eyes.

"I can't do that, no. I'd rather be out of a job." he snarled tensely, while Heahmund let out a soft snort. They had arrived at the final departure lounge, where he would soon be leaving - and where Ivar would have to say a final goodbye to Heahmund.

They had been a couple for maybe two years, had been through many ups and downs together - but they had never been apart for long. The longest they had spent without each other was one day. And that was only because Ivar had been far too offended at the time and had missed his bus when he had changed his mind after all. In that night, Ivar had sworn to himself that he would never again spend even one night apart from Heahmund - which had generally worked out well. When one of the two had to travel, they had taken each other with them. One had taken time off, the other was working; in this way they had been able to discover many places together. But this time it had been different. Since Heahmund had an important job to do, he couldn't take time off - just when Ivar had to fly away for a week for his job.

It was the first time Ivar had seriously considered just quitting; it was one thing to go to work and have your partner back in bed with you in the evening; but something completely different to have to go to sleep without him. The thought of it sent deep goosebumps down Ivar's body, and he sighed deeply.

"Honey, you're hurting me. It's only a week.", Heahmund said in a relaxed manner, trying to lightly release his hand from the clamp-like grip of Ivar's warm fingers; however, Ivar shook his head. Breathe in, breathe out, he told himself; but his eyes betrayed him. It wasn't really a tear that ran lightly from the corner of his eye, but Heahmund saw it anyway.

He made a soft clicking sound with his tongue and wrapped his arms tightly around the middle of Ivar's body; Ivar buried his face deep in Heahmund's black jacket, breathing in deeply the smell of his boyfriend. God, how he would miss him. Already his body felt drained, and his heart area became terribly heavy.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Heahmund. What are you going to do without me? Who's going to cook for you? And don't you dare meet anyone else.", Ivar mumbled dully into Heahmund's jacket, and he wrapped his arms tighter around Heahmund as he laughed softly and melodically.

"Babe, I'm not seeing anyone else. And besides, I'll probably survive a week without you! What are delivery services for, huh?" Heahmund replied, lifting Ivar's chin with a slight movement; Ivar blinked.

"Still. I should stay here." he grumbled, and Heahmund laughed softly.

"I have something for you that will comfort you a little. I know you always claim you don't like these things and are too old for them - but you always hug your bear very fiercely for that when I come home at night. That's why...", Heahmund said and pulled something out of his jacket pocket; it was a small stuffed animal, a small, soft hyena, wearing a dark blue ribbon around its neck. Ivar had to swallow; he took the stuffed animal carefully in his hands and then blinked very gently up at Heahmund, who looked at him with a smile.

"A hyena! You remember I was particularly fond of those?" he murmured softly, and Heahmund nodded as his hand went lightly to the back of Ivar's neck.

"Sure. You took about 200 pictures, and you kept stressing how much you'd like one yourself, and that you'd keep it in the bedroom."

"In the bathroom, so it could have a tub!"

"Of course!" Heahmund snorted in amusement; through the hall came the distinct and final call for Ivar's Gate, and the voice again sent a terrible shiver down Ivar's spine. He pressed himself as tightly as he could against Heahmund and sobbed slightly; Heahmund's warm fingers stroked through his hair, which for once he had not braided today, and which was just wildly disheveled. Who else was he going to make himself pretty for when his future husband wasn't around?

"Shhht, it's going to be okay, Ivar. You have to go now.", Heahmund said softly; Ivar knew it was time, but he found it extremely difficult to let go of the warm and familiar body and the familiar, beloved smell.

They kissed firmly and as long as they could; before Heahmund softly broke the kiss and smiled at Ivar once more. "You call me as soon as you land, okay? And no cell phone on the plane!" he said with a wink, and Ivar rolled his eyes.

He wiped away the last of his tears and hugged the hyena tightly before shuffling towards his gate with infinitely heavy feet. He looked after Heahmund for as long as he could - and when his dearly beloved guy disappeared behind him, the whole feeling in his body became really crushing. He tried to calm himself down the aisles to the plane and not show his tears - which worked well as long as he kept chewing his lower lip and answering all questions from stewardesses and staff only with a dull nod.

But it wasn't until he was sitting in his seat on the plane that all his emotions suddenly came rushing up - especially when he put the little hyena down on his lap and squeezed it tightly. He knew it was Heahmund's way of letting him know he was there - but the takeoff still sucked. Normally, during airplane takeoffs, Ivar always held Heahmund's hand, and always huddled slightly against Heahmund's shoulder out of fear; now that he wasn't there, the plane takeoff was a thousand times worse for Ivar.

The flight itself went by quickly, it was also only two hours. But the first day in his seminar from work was not great. Ivar found it awful to keep in touch with Heahmund only through his cell phone. Every two minutes he glanced at the screen, waiting to receive another heart, or an "I love you, I miss you." He knew Heahmund was working, too - but his inner, offended side most wanted Heahmund to text him every second.

The distraction of the seminar made the day go by quickly, even though Ivar shut down easily; he barely listened, and when he fell into his bed at night, all the fierce violence of missing him came crashing down. It took him a few seconds, a few seconds and his little hyena, before he could breathe reasonably again and pull out his cell phone to call Heahmund.

"Hey, little guy. Are you okay?" Heahmund said; he sounded tired and exhausted, but tears immediately started to flow on Ivar's face.

"I want to go home, I don't feel like it anymore! I'm homesick as hell, and I already know I can't sleep in this shitty bed! Heahmund, come get me. You can work from here too!" Ivar grumbled, sniffling as Heahmund laughed softly.

"Babe, you know I can't do that. I've really had a lot of conversations today, and I'm really, really knackered. I'm about to go to sleep too."

"You sound really tired too. But still... How am I supposed to sleep without you?" Ivar whined softly as Heahmund tossed and turned, Ivar heard it clearly. "And you're not supposed to sleep on the couch, Heahmund."

"I'm about to go to bed. Are you stalking me?"

"No, but I know our couch." Ivar said, smiling slightly; although tears were running slightly from his eyes, he could not hide the smile. He hugged the hyena a little more to his chest, imagining for a moment that it was Heahmund's warm hand; it helped a little.

"You are unique, at least your ears are. Which, after all, only hear what they want to hear. I miss you, Ivar."

Ivar swallowed hard. "I miss you too."

"We can talk on the phone with video tomorrow, I'm really too tired today."

"All right. Sleep well, and don't touch yourself too much! I want the full load when I get back.", Ivar grinned slightly, and he heard Heahmund snort exactly: it was the snort that Ivar knew quite well he was imagining him naked, with Ivar lying underneath him, moaning and whimpering.

"Of course. The same goes for you. I want you trembling and fucking starved with me," Heahmund replied; "...I love you. If there's anything, get in touch!"

"I love you, too. Will do."

As soon as he hung up, Ivar's heart grew heavy again, terribly heavy. He felt like there was a heavy weight on his chest, almost crushing him. It was such a sickening feeling to be lying alone in this bed, so many miles from Heahmund.

"You're 20, you can do it," Ivar whispered to himself as he tucked himself in and snuggled comfortably. But no matter what he did, he couldn't sleep.

His thoughts kept circling around Heahmund, and his body and soul missed the man next to him just terribly. Ivar had the feeling that his body was in severe withdrawal, that he simply needed Heahmund to function at all. He remembered the smell, the so familiar smell of Heahmund's neck and chin as they lay over Ivar's head, taking him in; he remembered his fingers always sliding over Heahmund's chest, sometimes on shaved, smooth, skin, sometimes on something hairier... but either way, it was the most wonderful feeling in the world to sleep in Heahmund's warm embrace.

For as long as Ivar could remember, he had always slept with his head on Heahmund's chest or shoulder; he couldn't think of an evening when they hadn't somehow fallen asleep without physical contact. Even on the hottest summer nights, Ivar would always curl up against Heahmund's back like a little hedgehog, holding at least his one arm, no matter how much Heahmund grumbled in his half-sleep.

It was simply his means of falling asleep, of waking up, of feeling good all around. But now, so alone in this hotel room, he felt completely lost and abandoned. The pain after Heahmund's closeness was so gravely real that Ivar found it difficult to breathe normally at all; again and again small sobs interrupted his breathing, and he pressed the hyena very tightly against him; unfortunately, it no longer bore any traces of Heahmund's scent, and only now did Ivar remember that he had forgotten to pack a worn shirt of Heahmund's - and it was so bad for him in those seconds that he burst into sheer tears, which only subsided when he eventually fell asleep from exhaustion.

The next two days were an absolute nightmare for Ivar. He didn't want to and couldn't eat anything, hardly felt like doing anything with the others even though the weather was wonderful - and he cried so terribly after every phone call with Heahmund that he always had to calm down before he could do anything else.

This feeling didn't go away either, and it got worse. This terrible feeling that a very primary part of him was missing, that his better and more beautiful half was simply missing. This missing squeezed all the nice feelings out of him and took over almost his entire daily life - so much so, that on the third day he was fed up and pretended to be sick so he could fly home.

He didn't tell Heahmund about all the action, because he would have just said, "You can't do that," and put on his dad look, along with his glasses, which he needed to work. But Ivar didn't care what he would think; he wrote to a work colleague of Heahmund's beforehand and asked her if he was in the office - when she answered in the affirmative, Ivar decided that he would wait for him at home as a surprise.

It was like a warm hug when Ivar unlocked the door to their apartment and smelled the scent of Heahmund still in the air; his heart was still burning, and he could hardly breathe with excitement - but finally he was home again.

Ivar felt a little bad that he had lasted such a short time and had only managed three days without Heahmund. But he knew that he would not have been able to stand it any other way, and no matter what Heahmund would say - he would just be glad to hold the man in his arms again. It would take away all the pain, and finally the endless burdensome pressure from his chest.

As he wandered through the apartment and looked around, he discovered slight chaos in some corners; but he was not angry. Rather, he smiled from the bottom of his heart, because he saw exactly that Heahmund seemed to need him in everyday life as much as Ivar needed him. As he was already unpacking his suitcase in the bedroom, he discovered the photo album of all their travels on Heahmund's bedside table; it was still open, and Ivar carefully took the book in his hands.

It showed a page with four pictures where they had been together in Egypt; there were pyramids in the background, and Ivar kissed Heahmund on the cheek while the older man grabbed his butt. It was a wonderful photo, and Ivar had to hold back his tears hard. It touched him more than anything that Heahmund had apparently looked at these pictures, even though he had seemed so tough on the phone. It was a moment that was so precious to Ivar - even though it was just a small, hidden detail in their otherwise great relationship.

As the evening approached, Ivar had almost prepared Heahmund's favorite meal; he had placed the little hyena in the hallway so that it would be the first thing the older man would see when he came into the apartment. And indeed - after a little while Ivar heard the lock of the door open, and someone standing in the hallway, puzzled. For a moment, nothing was heard - Ivar bit his lower lip in gleeful excitement before quietly sneaking around the corner of the hallway. He lurked around the corner and saw Heahmund perplexedly picking up the hyena and eyeing it in his hand, and once he had his eyes on this beautiful man, Ivar could wait no longer.

He jumped around the corner and threw himself into Heahmund's arms; the older man was a little startled, but he caught Ivar effortlessly and immediately took him deep and tight in his arms. He even lifted him up slightly with the embrace, and Ivar smiled broadly as Heahmund kissed him breathlessly, demanding.

"Oh fuck, I missed you so much, my little burglar." he murmured against Ivar's cheek, and Ivar took his face in both hands and kissed him again, firmly and intimately. Although tears were running down his cheek, he finally let go of that terribly heavy feeling of missing him, and he could finally breathe freely again. His arms wrapped around Heahmund's neck as tightly as he could, and the older man held him effortlessly in his strong arms.

"I escaped." Ivar admitted dryly, and Heahmund laughed softly.

"How did you do that again, huh?"

"I said I was too sick, and I just flew. Heahmund, I couldn't go on without you, I'm so damn starved and it hurt so much and... oh, the food!", Ivar groaned and pressed one last kiss on Heahmund before breaking free from the hug and running to the kitchen.

They spent a wonderful dinner together, and Ivar talked an incredible amount, though he didn't actually catch that much; but he was immensely satisfied when he was finally able to lie down in Heahmund's arms in the evening, and the older man pulled him into an intimate embrace on the sofa.

Ivar inhaled the smell of Heahmund deeply and firmly and swore to himself that he would never let him go - at most when he had to go to the bathroom. But that was it. Far too much had he missed the pressure of strong arms around him, and didn't want to be left alone for another minute.

When Heahmund wanted to get something to snack on from the kitchen, Ivar grumbled; but he clung with his arms around Heahmund's broad shoulders and let himself be carried like a little monkey all the way to the kitchen, where Heahmund finally had to laugh.

"What are you doing, huh? Are you my little spider monkey again?" he said, amused, and pushed Ivar onto the kitchen table; Ivar chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms around Heahmund again, even though he actually wanted to go to the freezer to get some ice cream. But Ivar kept a tight grip on him, and additionally clamped his legs around Heahmund's hips.

The big man raised an eyebrow, slightly enraptured, and leaned down to Ivar; they kissed intimately, and Ivar felt Heahmund's warm hands slide under his shirt with a slight pleasant hum.

"Are you a little starved?" he murmured softly, and slowly began kissing Ivar's sensitive right side of his neck; a thousand butterflies raced through Ivar's body, and he opened his full lips slightly to let out a soft moan.

"Yes - starved for touch. After all, we have three days to make up, my big guy."

Heahmund's eyebrow rose again in rapture, and not a second passed before the two strong arms had Ivar firmly in their grasp once more, and they were kissing fiercely. And even as Heahmund pulled his shirt over his head in one fluid motion, he knew for sure that he never wanted to be without this man for even one more day. Fuck the job - he didn't need money.

He just needed the full love and absolute closeness of this incredible man with him, forever.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

@youbloodymadgenius @jadelynlace @punkrocknpearls (Uh, I don't remember if it was you who wanted to be tagged in stuff like this? xD Otherwise, I'm so sorry! <3)

[goldenmist]

𝙳𝚎𝚟𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚃𝚘 𝚈𝚘𝚞 – 𝙺𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚒 𝙾𝚖𝚊/𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

A/N: My previous Kokichi based writing received a lot of support, so I decided to make something with him again, but Valentine related. This time it won't be long and boring like my preceding one-shot:)

–Mod Junko

...

Valentine's day.

The one and only day for lovers to reciprocate each other's affection. You have been looking forward to this event, getting ready with your beloved. But fate has decided to take another route, as your significant other found themselves in another's embrace. How funny. All of your plans and ideas, were ruined by one single affair. On the day, they were supposed to be fulfilled. The irony is almost unbearable. You have been left all alone. Or so at least you thought.

"Hey, peasant!" The urchin haired male leaned into your face. Which was hidden from sight by strands of hanging hair. You didn't even wonder how the boy entered your apartment. Questioning Kokichi Oma's actions would only lead to a throbbing headache.

"I'm bored. Play with me!" His grin was the last thing you wanted to see today. So you firmly pushed the small figure to the side, shaking your head. The defying action made the gremlin smile to himself. Widening his eyes as If in pure surprise.

"Wow! Daring to refuse your Supreme Leader! That's pretty hot." As If eating a lemon, your face scrunched in the bitter cower. Definitely, not wanted presence. Your gaze averted to the liar, who sat himself down on the wooden floor. It wasn't in your plan but apparently now, the little guy saw your puffy face. Still wet from the streaming tears. Oma's expression didn't seem to change, however a small glisten in his eyes indicated the amend of emotion.

"Let me guess. That dumbass left you?" How did he reach that conclusion? But on the second thought, It was kind of obvious. This day is the couple's day, and instead of some cheesy date night, you are stuck in here. Pathetically sobbing.

"Bingo! Proves my genius. " The purple-haired took your stunned silence for an answer. On the other hand, you were quickly getting irritated with the uninvited guest. So you managed to breath out,

"Why are you here?" The hoarse notes in your voice were pretty miserable. So you just hoped it would go unnoticed by the tease-loving male.

"Well you see" Kokichi's bored eyes met yours,

"I was expecting you to leave with that asshole, so I could borrow some candy from the top shelf. I know you have a lot." Before you could object, he continued.

"But, your ass is stuck in here. So now there is a change of plans!" Oma leaped up, dragging you with him. Sometimes you wondered, how could such a fragile looking boy have such strength.

"Which is?" Pulling your wrist out of the male's tight grip, you exhaustedly sighed. The thought of doing anything at all made you quite frustrated. Nonetheless, you knew that Kokichi would annoy you, until he eventually got what he wanted. So It was easier to just go along with whatever crap he thought of.

"I'll do you an immense favor, by taking your ugly self out on a date!" He kept the dumb smile painted on his features, as If what he said wasn't completely out of nowhere.

"I'm not really in the mood." The sarcasm and steel in your timbre could cut through the air. But surely, the leader was not afraid of it. In fact, resistance excited him even more.

"Aww c'mon Y/N! What else do you have to do?" The urchin haired approached your figure, getting a hold of your shoulders.

"Don't be such a drag. As I said It's a big favor! A lot of girls wanna go out with me." You just couldn't get his motive. Was he trying to make you feel worse? Laugh at your weakness? What a piece of shit.

"Then leave. For all I care." And there goes one of his little acts. You didn't mind his fake crying most of the time, but right now was clearly not the moment.

"Just leave me alone. Wanna see me breakdown? Desperately cling to your proposal? Ruin my dignity? As If, you bastard." Turning on your heels to storm out of the room, you never have expected to look back. But you did. And the reason to that was the sudden apology.

"I'm sorry." The words slipping out of the small boy's mouth were almost inaudible.

"I just wanted to make you laugh a little." It was rare for the male to show his true demeanor. In fact, so rare that It softened your exasperation. Hesitating, you eventually turned around and walked over back to the timid figure.

"Well, you've done a shitty job buddy." Ruffling his messy hair, you couldn't help but appreciate It's softness. Almost like a spiky cloud It was. Of course the state of Kokichi's hair, doesn't change the fact that he is an utter idiot.

"Gotta try harder next time." The boy lightened up again, placing his tiny hands around your waist.

"Does that mean you'll go out with me, peasant?" Not holding back to pinch his cheek, you chuckled.

"Nope." Without letting Kokichi continue, you rubbed your chin in thought.

"But, I might reconsider. If you give me some of that Panta." Of course you weren't that serious. And the statement made the male burst out in laughter. Waving his hand he excused himself, leaving you standing alone in the middle of the dimmed room. You would lie If you said you weren't the tiniest bit disappointed. Your own feelings surprised you. Weren't you supposed to be crying about your no-good of an ex?

However a few minutes later, a loud metal clang rang through the space. Some object was thrown onto the floor through the door gap of your room. It was a bright, purple coated bottle of soda.

[selene-tempest]

Mud bath.

"Erm..." Selene blinked, not really knowing what to say.

"I know."

"It's just that..."

"I said I know!"

"There's just so much..."

"I get it!"

"That's gonna take some scrubbing."

"I'm aware of that fact," Kayo's curt reply held a definite tone of warning.

Selene couldn't blame her, not really. She was covered from head to toe in mud, the dirt clinging to her skin, soaked into her hair and Selene was pretty sure she'd heard the sound of squelching whenever the other woman moved.

"Do you need any he-"

"I've got it, thanks." Kayo turned her back, walking stiffly from the hangar to the adjoined showers, knowing that Grandma would pitch a fit if any of them traipsed mud up to the main house.

Dismissed, Selene gave up the battle, knowing that Kayo, more than anyone, had moments where she just wanted to be left alone.

-x-

"Anyone seen Kay?" Virgil asked later that night when they were all in the lounge, spread out across the sofas in what Jeff called Sloth mode. Nothing was moving them short of an emergency call, which they all desperately hoped wouldn't happen.

"Not since we got back," Gordon answered. "She said she was pretty tired, maybe she went straight to bed?"

"Without eating?" Selene's inbuilt need to care for those around her pinged into life.

"I'm sure she'll get something if she's hungry," Gordon shrugged, not taking his eyes off the show on the holoscreen.

"Don't be mean," Selene swiped at his shoulder. "How would you like it if you got back and no one fed you?"

"It happens all the time," he protested.

"Not while I'm here," she said firmly. "I'm going to go and check on her."

"Your funeral."

It took her very little time to rustle up some left over mac and cheese and she took it, along with a glass of milk, up to Kayo's room.

She knocked on the door but got no answer.

"Come on, open up, I've brought you some food."

"I'm not hungry," floated through the door.

"Don't give me that shit, you haven't eaten since breakfast."

Nothing.

"It's mac and cheese," she wheedled.

Selene heard a sigh of defeat, followed by shuffling footsteps coming closer to the door.

"I'm warning you now," Kayo said through gritted teeth, "you'd better not laugh."

Selene frowned. What was there to laugh about?

"Promise me."

"Erm... OK, I promise not to laugh."

The door opened slowly, just enough for Selene to squeeze through, slamming shut behind her the moment she was inside the room.

"Where shall I put this..." Selene trailed off, catching sight of Kayo for the first time. "Oh lawd."

"Don't. Laugh."

"I wasn't going to!" Selene slid the tray of food onto the bedside table and turned to get a closer look.

"Yeah, right. I know how it looks, I've looked in the mirror."

"I honestly wasn't going to," Selene assured her. And she hadn't been. Her poor friend didn't need teasing, she needed help. Badly.

Her hair, that beautiful, thick, naturally shiny hair that Selene secretly lusted after but couldn't get without a mountain of products, looked like shit. There, she said it, even if it was just in her own head. It was fluffed up beyond all recognition, a mass of tangles and frizz the likes of which Selene had never seen.

"I'm sorry, I gotta ask..."

Kayo folded her arms, tapping her foot, daring Selene to say something shitty.

"How the hell did that happen?"

"I don't know," Kayo huffed. "I know my ponytail got loose from my helmet, that's never good because it gets all tangled then. Then the band snapped and it was a lost cause."

Selene nodded, she'd had a similar experience with her hair coming out of the back of her jacket while riding on the back of her Dad's motorbike and it had taken her and her mum the best part of an evening and two washes to get it untangled again.

"I've washed it three times, blow dried it and broken a brush on it but it's just made it worse."

"What type of conditioner did you use?"

"The one I always do, the one in the locker room and then mine up here. That one that Grandma buys in bulk."

Selene's eyes widened in horror as her friend described the torment she had just admitted to putting her hair through.

"Generic conditioner? You used generic conditioner? The same shit that Alan uses? That conditioner? And then you tried to brush it out?"

Kayo shrugged.

"What are you, a savage?"

"What else would I do to get tangles out?"

"Oh my gods," Selene clasped her hands over her heart and swayed dramatically. "I can't believe I'm hearing this. How? How could you think that would be OK?"

"It's always been OK every other time."

"No! No don't you dare dismiss it and pretend that you didn't just commit a cardinal hair sin!"

Kayo shrugged again.

Selene pointed at Kayo then the tray of food. "You, you're going to eat that while I go and get some emergency supplies, and then we're going to fix this mess!"

Selene didn't give Kayo a chance to respond, she just swept out of the room, having delivered her orders which she expected to be obeyed. Kayo wanted to argue but knew it was a pointless waste of energy. Her hair felt like straw, she was grumpy and now that the enticing scent of cheesy pasta was permeating the room, she realised she was hungry too.

By the time Selene returned, arms ladened with so many bottles Kayo was sure she had just robbed a salon, she had eaten all of the food, drank half the milk and could admit that she actually felt a bit better.

"Right," Selene declared, dumping her load on the bed and sorting through it. "This is a moisturing shampoo, it's my favourite, the one that Scott keeps stealing. We're going to wash your hair with this and then we're going to slap on this deep conditioning mask and leave it for the full half hour before rinsing."

"Half an hour?" Selene had never heard Kayo sound so shocked.

"Yep, while wearing this." Selene produced something that looked like deflated balloon that had mated with a wedding bouquet.

"What the hell is that?"

"It's a swimming cap, ignore the flowers, it'll keep the conditioner in place and create warmth to help it soak in, we'll cover it with a towel, you won't see it."

It took some persuading, but soon Kayo was back with soaking wet hair. Selene helped her to smother her locks in an insane amount of the hair mask and wrestled it into the swimming cap then wrapped her whole head in a towel.

"I feel ridiculous."

"Ypu look it too, but beauty is pain and it'll be worth it in the end."

"I know at least six different ways to kill you without you making a sound, they will never find your body."

"But you wouldn't do that to me, would you? Because then you'd be combing that shit out on your own."

The witch spoke the truth.

"Urghhh," Kayo groaned, refusing to admit defeat but knowing she had to. "This is going to take forever."

"Nah, it won't, don't sweat it. We'll have a girly night. Look, I bought face masks and chocolate too, it'll be great."

There was protests, but Selene quickly bulldozed through them like she always did, going so far as to launch herself at the other woman and sit on her when she tried to escape to lock herself in the bathroom, holding her down while she scrubbed at her face with a cleansing wipe and then painted on the mask. Ignoring her outraged screeching as she flailed her arms in a defensive attack.

The door opened at one point, Gordon and Alan sticking their heads in to make sure everything was OK. In their house screaming was never ignored. They took one look at Selene straddling Kayo, holding a dripping brush between her teeth while Kayo tried to push her hands away, both girls faces smeared in bright green face mud, and backed right out again. Selene didn't blame them.

Kayo looked at Selene, her eyes narrowing as if she were about to shove her onto the floor, but then her lips curved in a smile and she started to laugh.

They both collapsed into manic giggling, unable to stop. The looks on the boys faces ahd been priceless, as had theirs when they had turned to look at the door, pausing in the middle of their fighting.

"Thats going to be all around the island in the next ten minutes," Kayo howled.

"Oh gods, yes. They're never going to let this be forgotten," Selene wheezed, easing up on her friend and rolling sideways to get off her.

By the time their hysterics had subsided Selene gave Kayo permission to wash out her hair.

Over the course of the next two hours Selene smothered Kayo's hair in detangler and painstakingly combed through the now thankfully not so tangled mass, working in tiny sections at a time, from the tip to the roots until she could run the comb smoothly through her hair.

As they worked, with Kayo sat on the floor in front of the bed and Selene perched on the edge behind her, they fell into an easy chatter, sharing the chocolate Selene had brought with her and catching up.

If anyone asked, Selene would say she was closest to the boys, and most definitely Scott, but she counted Kayo as a close friend just the same.

At first meeting the two women had decided that they had very little in common, although they had banded together, two girls in a sea of testosterone that was Tracy Island and had become close pretty quickly.

Selene was more of a girly girl, finding enjoyment in putting on makeup, dressing up in nice clothes and watching weepy movies. Whereas Kayo was a tougher nut. She didn't really like dresses and considered makeup to be a waste of time, but they had worked hard to find a common ground.

Kayo had been used to being the lone girl (apart from Grandma) on the island and Selene often wondered if her mother dying young and her moving to the island where she had had to hold her own with what amounted to a chattering pack of wild monkeys, had stopped her from exploring her feminine side a bit more.

Kayo was great for so many things, she and Selene often spent their workout time together and had found they both shared a curious fascination for real crime documentaries, especially those of a more historical nature like Ted Bundy, The Yorkshire Ripper and the Night Stalker, it was interesting to try to figure out how today's modern technologies could have helped with the cases.

They would be found by John, wide awake in the small hours of the morning, camped out in the lounge with blankets and unhealthy snacks that Kayo would never admit to actually eating, engaged in some debate or other, sharing theories on unsolved cases or giving their opinions on one's that had already been solved.

No, their Kayo could never be described as girly but she was awesome just the same.

As Selene worked Kayo regaled her was the story of the whole sorry rescue from start to finish, starting with the flooding and finishing with all of then wallowing around in knee high muck, slopping around, falling over and basically having a less than relaxing mud bath.

The boys had had it easy, they just needed a quick shower and change of clothes, but Kayo had not been so lucky.

But the time all the tangles were out of her hair and Selene had dried it with the hairdryer she'd borrowed from Virgil's room, both girls were laughing again and with each sweep of the brush through her friends hair Selene felt her tense shoulder relaxing, simply enjoying the feel of someone looking after her for once.

Kayo didn't like being looked after, where the boys were always happy to accept any and all attention, especially if it came in the form of food, hugs or tv buddies, Kayo was more reserved and less likely to seek out company when she felt tired or moody. Selene made a mental note to force her company on her friend more often.

"There, all done," Selene announced, running her fingers through it one more time just because it felt so soft and shiny now that it had had some TLC.

"It actually feels amazing," Kayo admitted, stroke a strand between finger and thumb.

"That's because your heathen head has finally been nourished with something decent."

Kayo ignored that dig as Selene started to gather up her products, leaving some on the bedside table for Kayo to keep.

"There, that wasn't too horrendous was it?"

"So you say," Kayo huffed, but there was just a tiny hint of a smile on her face.

"So you wouldn't want to make this a monthly thing then?"

Kayo rolled her eyes. "Obviously not."

Selene shrugged, turning to pick up her things.

"But, I consider you my friend so, you know, hanging out once a month wouldn't be that much of a chore, but only because you want to."

"Oh, of course," Selene agreed, trying not to laugh.

"So, what now?" Kayo asked, reluctant to admit that it had actually been quite a fun night that she wasn't really ready to end yet.

Selene thought about it for a moment or two. "Wash off this stuff," she pointed to the mask that had long since dried into a flaking, crusty mess, "and then shove the boys off the couch so we can watch the next episode of 'Crimes of Passion, the 80s years'?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

Big thanks to @myladykayo for the picture prompt. Not sure what this turned into but I went with it.

[gidleboo]

Jealous

an imagine where you were having a shitty week which only became shittier as you see Shuhua and Soojin together.

requested by: @jffbuckley

Word Count : 1,404

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

You've been feeling annoyed over the stupidest things the past few weeks and it drove you crazy. Like when the cabinets won't close so you start furiously banging on them, or when the TV remote won't work which made you slam it hard on the couch.

What's worse was that your girlfriend is busy practicing all week for their next comeback and you're all alone at home with no one to comfort you.

You just got into the shower and when you reach for the shampoo bottle, you find it empty. You slam it to the floor and kick it angrily as you sigh to yourself, "The hell is wrong with me."

. . . . .

While you were scrolling through Instagram, you get a notification from Shuhua which immediately caught your attention. You opened the message and read, "Hey baby! Pick me up from the studio and let's stop by R/N, my treat :)"

(a/n: R/N means restaurant name for those who didn't understand xx)

You smile wide at your girlfriend's text and replied, "I'll be there in 20, love. See you!" and you quickly got up from the bed to change your clothes. You two were finally going to spend some time together and you couldn't be more happier.

You had so much to share and wanted her to talk about how their practice is going as well. You put on a simple white hoodie and black leggings paired with white shoes as you tie your hair into a messy bun.

You started heading out your shared apartment and when you thought nothing more could go wrong, someone bumped into you and accidentally stepped on your white shoes. Your white fucking shoes.

You started feeling your anger rise every second the person apologizes and you wanted to hit them so bad but instead gave him the fake "Its okay" reply just like you always do.

The moment they were out of your sight you started cursing and bent down to wipe your shoes with a tissue. You threw the tissue at the wall when the dirt wont come off and decided to just clean them once you get home.

You put on your earphones to listen to music to hopefully calm yourself down.

. . . . .

You were almost there and let Shuhua know that you were coming so that she could get ready to leave when suddenly another person bumped into you which made you drop your phone.

Apparently, it had been raining last night so your phone dropped into a small puddle of water. That was the last straw and you yelled at the person, "Dude what the fuck?! Could you look where the fuck you're going next time and not drop other people's phones?"

They immediately apologized as their face turned red and they handed you a napkin to wipe your phone with which you angrily took and stomped over once you were done.

A bunch of people were staring at you but you didn't care. You were feeling really shitty the whole week that you just exploded. You started walking faster out of rage. You just wanted to see your girlfriend with no problem, is that too much to ask?

. . . . .

You finally arrived and texted Shuhua you were there, wanting her to come meet you downstairs instead of you making your way to their dance studio since you were way too tired to move but, of course, Shuhua tells you to come up. "Babe at least say hi to the other members, I'm still gonna change clothes."

You groan but followed her anyways.

You took the elevator and walked down the hall you've been to before at least twice. It's been months since you last visited and so far nothing much has changed.

You reach their studio and hear their song "Oh My God" playing from outside the door. The song was about to come to an end when you knocked and decided to let yourself in.

You see Shuhua turn to look at you as she happily shouted, "Y/N is here!" You smiled softly and the song came to an end once you sat yourself down at the back of the room.

Everyone let out a breath of relief and Soyeon announced, "Good job you guys, let's take a break for 2 days. Hello Y/N." Soyeon smiled at you and went to her bag to wipe her face with her towel.

"Baby!" Shuhua ran to you and you panicked, seeing that she was all sweaty. You sigh and gave up as she hugged you tightly with the other members laughing at you both. "Shuhua, get off you're all sweaty, baby." You whine and try to pull her off your body but she doesn't let go.

"I missed you so much, you know?" Shuhua looked up at you and her face fell a bit seeing that you were a bit down. She held your face with her hand, "Baby, you okay?"

You gulped and shook her off and chuckled a bit before saying, "You're just sweaty, that's all." Shuhua laughed and pushed you. "I'll go change my top and we can go leave." Shuhua sat you down, telling you to wait. Minnie sat down next to you and gave you a smile that you returned.

You hear your girlfriend scream from across the room and you turn to see her and Soojin laughing hard at one another. You couldn't help but purse your lips at the two, the familiar feeling of annoyance slowly rising inside of you.

Shuhua started taking off her top in front of Soojin and you felt your eye twitch. "Shuhua." You called out before she could take off her top and she turns around to look at you, "Yes?"

You open your mouth to scold her but you shook your head instead. Shuhua looked at you funny and took off her top. You clench your jaw seeing Soojin's eyes wander as you look away. You liked Soojin and all but today was just a really fucked up day for you.

Shuhua changed into a black shirt and grabbed her bag before calling out to you, "Baby lets go!" You merely gave her a nod and started heading for the door without her which made Shuhua blink a few times as she felt a bit flustered.

. . . . .

The two of you settled for chinese food while Shuhua rambled on about her day as she mentions Soojin's name here and there. You didn't bother to listen once she started sharing about what she and Soojin were talking about.

Word after word about Soojin went through your ear and out the other until you finally got fed up and accidentally yelled, "Okay, I get it! Stop talking about Soojin as if she's the only one you see!"

Shuhua raised her eyebrows at you in shock, "Baby, what are you talking about? I was just explaining to you the concept of our new album." Shuhua said. Your face turned red from embarrassment as you realized what she said. You were really going crazy, imagining nonsense.

"Nevermind." You stuttered as you leaned your head on the table. Shuhua started smiling and brushed your hair through her fingers. "Is my babygirl jealous?" Shuhua teased while you sighed.

Shuhua laughed and you raised your head with a pout on your face. "I'm sorry for snapping at you, I don't know what got to me. This week was just really shitty." You leaned your head on her shoulder.

Shuhua rubbed your thigh in a comforting way, "Its okay baby, I understand. At least we can spend tomorrow and the day after with each other. Love you!" Shuhua grabbed your face and kissed your nose and you giggled.

. . . . .

You two were back at your apartment and the time read 7:03 pm. You were extremely exhausted and just wanted to sleep with your girlfriend cuddling you. "Baby, come join me." You call out to her as she ran in your bedroom and collapses next to you.

Shuhua giggled before turning off the lamp as she yawned. "Go to sleep babe," Shuhua said before hugging you and lifting her leg and placing it on top of your body. You smiled when you suddenly sneezed. You gasp which made Shuhua lift her head, "What's wrong babe?"

You immediately ran to the bathroom and Shuhua turned on the lamp. Shuhua sat on the bed with concern as she waited for you to exit the bathroom. "Baby, you okay in there?" She called.

You then exit the bathroom and said, "Baby I have my period."

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

guys what even is this? my grammar is so bad xx

imma go proofread this later midnight since i still have 3 imagines to write skcnhd

thanks for requesting @jffbuckley and for using the prompt numbers 9 and 30

hope this wasn't too bad lol thanks for reading❣

[interstellactic-studios]

Howdy guys! I have some news today for y'all, just a small update on some stuff but I'd appreciate it if y'all who still exist here would read!

Here's a watercolor piece I finished recently uwu sorry for not posting here often anymore, tumblr mobile is how I mainly accessed tumblr and it's like super shitty.

Even after I switched from apple to Samsung when I got a new phone back in July, so I've hopped around a little and I think I'm going to officially start using Instagram a bit more. I'll still post here occasionally for y'all who don't have Instagram and are too lazy to make one though so don't worry XD

Ok so now to some important news! If any of my mutuals have dms with me or people who actually contacted me (unlike some who basically haven't talked to me since they made a request which is a bummer) about request have dms open then message me on whether or not you have an Instagram so we can maybe do more stuff there? ^_^" I'm not joking about tumblr mobile going to shit for me: notifications don't work like at all and are super janky, my dms are oddly changing order even though I haven't touched some in a long time, and sometimes I cant even make post cause the button just poofs even when I close and reopen the app >_<" if I have a dm with you or y'all have wondered why I keep dying, when I started using tumblr less is when these problems started. I literally am having technical problems that carried over to a completely new and different branded phone than my old one. I'm sure I'm not the only one here with these kinds of issues, and of course now most of my notifs are literally pron bots following me or liking random old ass post of mine.

I'm super disappointed in what's happened to tumblr tbh since I didn't think this hellsite could actually get worse ._. Except now it's in quality too rather than just a bunch of its content. I'll stick around because the tumblr website itself still works pretty decently for me, but I'm not on my laptop for media as much so activity will be slowed until I can figure out how to rise from the grave permanently oof. Also irl life has also kept me super busy and my art time is restricted to school sketchbook doodles. This art here is literally art I did for my AP class and i put many days of at home work into it as school days =_=""" I'm hella tired. Good news is you'll guys probably can see more improvement on my art since I am taking 3 art classes and I'm gonna try and post my work from those at least.

Also I know I've typed a bunch so I apologize for the long ass message most of y'all probably won't read and probably won't even see tbh, but I got one more very important thing to say. Everyone who has dropped contact with me who had request, I am no longer going to waste time and effort into them since I have asked many times for those who haven't talked to me to rekindle a convo since a while back all my dms were poofed and I messaged who I could track down. I've had no new people come up since the ones I've messaged myself so all those requests will be moved to my discarded/incomplete folder and I will no longer work on them until you come out of the dark and ask. I've gotten behind on art request for other people because of time wasted on these and I owe several people art now, which I apologize for those who have been waiting btw I've been doing my best but things keep getting difficult. Please understand that I'm not being rude by doing this, I just can't overstress myself anymore over these because it's hindering my ability to create for others and I feel hella shitty about being pushed behind and basically being ghosted. I'm going to use all the free time I have working on art I owe to people who still speak to me, figuring out job stuff, trying to set up a college portfolio since these are taking up most of my time. Once I completely finish these hopefully I can start doing more of what I love on here and other social media sites than just for school and shit.

Ok that's finally it now phew! Sorry again for the long post, and some cursing oof, I hope y'all have a fabulous day/night! ^w^