#I feel I should tell yall this is 100% based on a fic I read a while ago

[narutothoughts]

Kakashi who finds his father’s dead body and just curls up in his blood and gut covered lap to wait as his scent fades completely. When Minato finds him sleeping there he has no fucking clue what to do

[pies-writes-and-more]

PIES’ FIC RECOMMENDATIONS FOR MAY 2020

So I’ve never done one of these fic recommendations lists before but I really want to share some of the amazing work that I’ve read this past month! I’ve definitely read a whole ton more but I was dumb and didn’t think to like draft this list and then just keep adding to it... so I’m just attempting to go through my tags LOL please be patient with my dumbass. 

NOTE: Since I only started doing this recently, a lot of my recommendations are gonna come from a lot of my mutuals but I’m always open to hearing more about other fics!!! If you’ve got an incredible fic that you are super proud of or if you think that I should read something you’ve read, PLEASE SEND IT TO ME! I’m really big on StevexFem!Reader, BuckyxFem!Reader, WandaxFem!Reader, CarolxFem!Reader, and Stucky fics!!!

If you do end up reading these fics, please tag me if you reblog them or comment on them!! I’d love to see your guys’ reactions :) 

ANYWAYS THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE HAVE CRUSHED MY HEART WITH AMAZING FICS, RUINED MY IDEALS OF WHAT LOVE IS, AND/OR BROKEN MY HEART WITH ANGST ONLY TO REVIVE IT WITH SOME FLUFF. I love you all so very much.

PS. if these links dont work for some reason, please let me know so I can update this list because I was very distracted halfway through making this so it might not be perfect!

1.Walpurgis Night by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “In which Steven volunteers to find a long-lost princess of Starkerbürg. (Fairy Tale AU)” I have no clue why this fic is not given more goddamn attention because holy shit yall, I have never been so grasped by a fic before. If you love medieval/fairy tale type things, you will love this fic. And if you don’t, you’re gonna love it anyways because @anika-ann​ writes SO. FUCKING. WELL. 100% fluff and love.

2. Abs Aren’t Always the Answer by @its-not-captain-america​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve asks Y/N what girls are interested in, trying to impress her. Several shirtless pics later it’s not working.” Y’all want hilarious shit??? What about Steve Rogers always trying to take his fucking shirt off because he has the DNA (and the body) of a stripper? JK that’s not the actual reason but this fic is so funny, I died reading the first 700 times (and the 701st time too... and every time after that). 100% hilarious.

3. Challenge Accepted...? by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader ”Steve’s never been good at quick decision-making when it came to his own safety. After one particularly horrible experience, you find a way to remind him every day to think twice the next time he’s faced with a tough choice. He is not amused.” Steven Grant Rogers you stupid dumb hoe lol. That’s all I’mma say about this fic because it speaks for itself when you read it haha. Banter is iconic in this fic. 100% hilarious.

4. A Matter of Trust by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You and Steve get to go to a mission together after a while; free drinks, partying, dressing-up nicely, stealing blueprints, the usual. You might even enjoy this as a couple.“ This time it’s Y/N that’s kindof a stupid dumb hoe but like that’s okay because when Y/N is a stupid dumb hoe, it’s not as stupid or dumb as when Steve does it. There’s a bit of a carry on between Challenge Accepted...? and this fic! So I would suggest reading that one first and then this :) 100% hilarious.

5. For a Smile by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You see him run past every morning. So you smile, because he looks like a nice person. How could he not be when he smiles back and the world stops for a while to pay respect to such beauty?” So you know how Disney movies totally screwed over some of our perspectives of how guys were gonna come and sweep us off our feet? Yeah. This fic did it too. I’m still waiting for my fairytale fucking moment like this fic but if it never happens, I’ll settle for just reading this over and over again LOL. 100% F L U F F and LOVE.

6. Grease and Pearls by @anika-ann​​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “All you know is uptown; fancy clothes, expensive cars, jewellery outshining one’s personality and exhausting dinners with family acquaintances and business partners. Your life is all planned out; one day, you’ll marry Howard Stark’s son and you’ll be the golden couple adored by press.” This 3-part series slayed me. Like honestly, I’ve never been so torn apart before. Y’all lucky that if you read it, you get to read all 3 parts right away whereas I had to sit and wait for my heart to be torn apart and then stomped on. (Jk anika i love you you know that). Super amazing thing I love about this fic: it’s got links to the dresses that Y/N wears (super cute btw) AND it’s got two different endings so you can decide!!! 100% ANGST and 100% FLUFF? At the same time??? Because of the two endings?!?!?!? NOTE: part 2 got some steamy smut in there so 18+ readers only. I had to take a cold shower after reading it like goddamn.

7. Be Alright by @kayteewritessteve​ ​| Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve goes through a bad breakup, but a sweet voice and a friendly smile helps him realize he can begin again, and that he definitely should.” God this fic. I can’t with this fic. It’s based on the Dean Lewis song Be Alright, which is already one of my favourites, but this fic, ugh, Kaytee knows how to hurt you that’s for sure. It’s so pure and so wonderful. 100% SAD but like it gets better promise.

8. Cold Feet by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

“After two months of dating, you’ve come to a conclusion as exciting as well as a bit irritating: Steve Rogers is a perfect man. He simply has no flaw.Or does he?” Mother. Fucking. Adorable. I dunno if there’s anything else to say except that anika really knows how to make me wish I was Y/N adsoifhosd. 100% F L U F F

9. Hot Chocolate by @vodkaxtonic​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve gets sick and Y/N takes care of him, which involves a lot of Steve’s whining, hot chocolate and cuddles.“ Steve Rogers is a little shit who won’t just accept that he’s sick and needs to be taken care of BUT IT’S SO CUTE AND THIS FIC IS THE BEST!!!! 100% FLUFF!!

10. Home by @evanstush​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “It’s been 2 years since the last battle and it’s now Morgan’s 7th birthday, and well, Tony being Tony, he prepared a small party for her little girl, inviting everyone from the team, including you.” Hnnnggg this fic. Okay so. I love @evanstush​ with all my fucking heart because she’s always been so supportive of me and my fics. That being said I WAS NOT EXPECTING HER KIND ASS TO HURT MY HEART LIKE THIS. But again, it’s okay because it’s got fluff guys. 50% ANGST and 50% FLUFF. Well like it’s 100% both but like I have to split it haha.

11. Cocktails by @writeyourmindaway​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “ ~i really don’t know what to write i’m sorry~ DRINKS!” That’s okay, darling, I’ll write the summary you. HILARITY. WONDERFULNESS. THE WORD BLOWJOB WRITTEN SO MANY TIMES AND IT’S FUCKING GOLD. This is so funny i love it haha. This fic killed me. I should’ve seen it coming (hehe) but i didn’t lol. 100% HILARIOUS.

12. Unadulterated by @writeyourmindaway​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader No summary for this one but again, I shall do the honours haha. It’s part 2 of ‘Cocktails’ and this one is just as adorable and hilarious as the first part! Steve is a cheeky little soft boi and the flirting just makes me feel all sorts of ways <3 100% ADORABLE.

13. Water Wars by @writeyourmindaway | Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader “The team finds a new way to unwind” I love fics where you just see the team get to be normal people!!! Plus haven’t we all thought about how the Avengers would are in a water fight? Is that just me? Don’t have to fantasize about it now because @writeyourmindaway wrote it for you :D 100% FLUFF.

14. Slow Like Honey by @heli0s-writes | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “The gossip that buzzes around in the teacher’s lounge is that sweet, sensitive, divorcé Steve Rogers is hot-for-teacher. His daughter’s first-grade teacher, to be exact.” I binged this whole fucking series. 8 parts of PURE. EVERYTHING. I have never so badly wanted a happy ending in my fucking life. This is an amazing series with so much love put into it, you can tell. I really can’t explain this fic because you really need to just go read it to know how amazing it is. NOTE: Part 4, 5, and 8 have some serious love smut in there so 18+ readers only please. UGH. I love this fic so much. I will continue to keep daydreaming about it and thinking about it all the time. God I love me some Dad!Steve. 50% FLUFF and 50% ANGST (which seriously tore my heart out like I cried).

15. You Make My World Spin by @anika-ann | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “After the Battle of New York and all the mess Tony gets involved in later, Pepper believes he is in a need of an assistant slash tech genius. Enter you. While Tony is not amused by Pepper’s idea at first… he soon warms up to you.” So many insanely wonderful references in this fic, it’s hilarious. Also, Tony being a little shit LOL. Such a hilarious fic!!!! 100% AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS.

16. If You Stumble... by @anika-ann | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “If you stumble…make it part of the dance. In which you ask Steve what your date would look like if you lived the forties. He decides to show you instead. There are few flaws, holes to see through to glimpse beyond that illusion. But what life would be besides boring if everything was perfect? Perfect dress. Perfect date. Perfect gentleman…?” So my dumbass was so excited to read something that anika put out that I didn’t realize this was part 2 of a 3 part series lol I’m dumb yes I know. Anyways, this is part 1 so please don’t be like me and read the first part LOL. ANYWAYS, this was so fucking wholesome. This is definitely one that I need to read again and fully read in order (she’s got part 3 on her AO3, I believe) but ugh. I love the idea of Steve dating in this century, comparing things to how things were done in the old days ufglasodfhsd. I love it. Amazing. 100% FLUFF (I think because well my dumbass hasn’t finished but this part was fluffy :3)

17. @wxstedhexrt‘s poems | Read Them Here! | Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes I don’t think Destiny ever gave me a summary of these but (and Destiny, please correct me if I’m wrong in how you want these to be portrayed!) I believe they’re poems written throughout the whole Steve and Bucky timeline. She’s used the Winter Soldier’s words and turned them into a gorgeous set of poems. 100% My favourite thing in the whole fucking world. 

18. The Lonely Tree by @sarahwroteathing​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You have a favorite tree which you make sure to pass every day on your way to class, but one day you find you’ll have to get used to sharing it with a friendly art student.” Holy shit guys this 15 part series was so amazing. It’s 100% PURE FLUFF and PINING and gorgeous. Holy shit. Like I screamed reading the whole goddamn thing. Amazing writing by an amazing human being with some awesome humour haha.

19. @sinner-as-saint​ responding to an anon request? Amazing. | Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader Request: May I just spice up your day with the thought of best friend/roommate bucky being jealous when you bring someone home HOT. AS. FUCK. Holy shit. It’s such a short little list of things that Bucky would do but ugh. I was dying reading it. I love me some jealous Bucky smut. 100% angsty fluff? With smuttiness ;) 18+ readers please!!

20. @alloftheimaginesblog​ prompted fic | Steve Rogers x Reader (I could be wrong here but I believe the gender of the reader is never specified? But the ring is a woman’s ring so?? @alloftheimaginesblog​ pls correct me if you want!) Prompt: Finding an engagement ring in one of their drawers. So fucking fluffy I needed a cavity filled after ugh. I loved it so much it was just a gorgeous piece of writing. Steve is a little piece of poop for not hiding that ring better I mean come on, you’re telling me you couldn’t have punched a hole, put the ring there, and then cover it up with like a cabinet or something??? jk i still love you steeb. 100% fluff!

21. Laser Tag by @stargazingfangirl18​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You play laser tag with your boyfriend Steve and his best friend Bucky. Since you’re just a plain ole civilian, you gotta use what non-Avenger skills you have to avoid losing. Hint: those skills involve Steve and kissing.” Iconic. Everything. Wonderful. There is nothing I love more than Steve Rogers being a little sucker for making out with his girlfriend even when there’s a competition. 100% fluff!!!!

22. Under the Rainbow, Draga mea by @binkysteebnpewter​ | Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader I don’t think there’s an official summary ( @binkysteebnpewter​ pls correct me if I’m wrong) but my summary is this: GAYNESS <3 I love me some wlw content so when I saw this pop up on my dash, I couldn’t NOT read. It’s soooo good. This is a Social Media AU and the amount of meme usage in there I- it’s fucking wonderful. It’s still in progress though so you guys will have to pine after this relationship with me. I FUCKING LOVE IT. 100% GAY LOVE <3

23. A Fic in which Peggy Carter plays wingwoman because these two idiots are in love with each other but they can’t see it so our Queen needs to throw it at them by @1she1hulk1​ (please note I made this title by myself because I don’t think there was a title LOL @1she1hulk1​ lmk if you want me to change this xD) | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “the plot is bacially you and Steve go to see Peggy and she tells Steve to finally make his move” Peggy Carter is a fucking Queen and she knows that Steve is falling for you, because he just won’t stop fucking talking about you LOL. Anyways, this is a super cute fic!!!! Please go give it some love because this human being who wrote it doesn’t think she’s a good writer?????? Crazy. 100% FLUFF!!!!

OTHER FICS THAT DESERVE MENTIONING!!!!

So because this is my first recommendation list on this site, I know I’m definitely missing some amazing fics that I’ve read but never saved (I’m a terrible person I know). So I’m just gonna add them in this list here because they deserve love and attention too!

@wxstedhexrt​‘s poetry. Period. End of story lol. JK. So the ones that I’ve read that are on Destiny’s tumblr aren’t all fandom related (besides the one that I posted above) but they’re still really amazing. I’ve never felt so captured by poems before (mostly because i’m stupid and don’t understand a lot of poetry). Ugh anyways I love her poems so much so please go check them out! CLICK HERE FOR BEAUTY <3

Alright so I know a lot of you guys know @kayteewritessteve​ but if you don’t, she’s this super amazing writer with INCREDIBLE series. (CLICK HERE TO SEE HER FULL MASTERLIST). But one of my most favourite series by her, and one of my favourite series of all time, is: If Only You Knew “You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him and everything else that happened on that horrible night.”  This 18 (plus an Epilogue) part series will literally have you screaming at your screen being like WHY YALL CANT JUST TELL EACH OTHER HOW YALL FEEL?!?!?!?! 75% angst (because Kaytee likes to hurt us) and 25% fluff BUT the fluff is SOOOOO worth it so it’s like 100% angst and 200% fluff (i was never a mathlete). NOW since, we’re on the topic of Kaytee’s writing, I’d also like to mention: Love and War  “In a harsh medieval world, you set out on a perilous quest that will lead you onto a forbidden land. A land ruled and controlled by a ruthless Warlord King, one who does not look favourably upon trespassers of any kind, and punishes all with an iron fist. You may not know exactly where this quest will end, but what you do know is you will forever be altered by it. And that knowledge alone is what truly terrifies you the most.” so I read this while Kaytee was writing it about a year ago and holllyyyyyy shit. Okay. So. Listen. Fantasy? Check. Romance? Check. Amazing writing? Well it’s Kaytee so yea obviously check. I want to list more things but I don’t want to give it away! This is a 15 part series (plus an Epilogue and Outro) but it goes by so quickly once you’re stuck and waiting for more!!!! 

[the-innefable-idiot]

welcome home

Hello yall!!!

This is my 3k fic based on the fic "another part of me could be you" by @spaceskam. I honestly don't know how to classify this, but you can consider a homage (?) to her work.

This pretty much a fanfic of a fanfic... yeah. I know.

Every feedback is welcome, both for plot/characterization and grammar/ponctuation. English is not my first language, so I usually right phrases that only make perfect sense to me. I want your reading to be as enjoyable as possible! :D

Please, enjoy!

Also on AO3.

-

Oh, I hope someday I'll make it out of here

Even if it takes all night or a hundred years

Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near

Wanna feel alive, outside I can fight my fear

(Lovely, Billie Eilish feat. Khalid)

Michael almost looses Alex for the second time, and now je realises it's time for him to get his act together. He just wasn't expecting all the love and support he got.

- 

Home is a concept that Michael never quite understood. Sure, he lived in many houses, but the goodbyes were never emotional. He knows that home is not the structure, but the feelings attached to some place, something or someone. Whenever he thought of home, blurred memories from outer space came to mind. The feeling of belonging was strong, even if he couldn’t attach an image to it. 

Michael used to spend hours fantasizing on how to turn a house into a home. A collection of mugs nicely displayed in the dining room. Vinyls and cds on one shelf and books on another, with a nice record player nearby. Some musical instruments considered weird by western standards. The walls covered with pictures of people and places he loved alongside posters of movies and bands he enjoyed. Had he grown up in a nice home, he would probably have been those kids with a camera in hand at all times, capturing moments around him.

Once he knew he was so, but so close to understand the meaning of home. He was thinking about buying a camera literally moments before his hand was shattered by a psychopath. Since then he swore to never raise his hopes. The day drinking and the bar fighting were the ways he made sure to never expect anything from anyone. Alex symbolized everything he wanted to have, but couldn’t, so he was determined to go for a simpler route. 

With Maria things were nice. A little bit more complicated than he expected, but still nice. Sure, she wouldn't be moving to the airstream anytime soon, but the relationship was nice. Her place has a few of his things: a toothbrush, a few pieces of clothing neatly folded in one corner of a drawer, a few bottles of beer and whiskey, a handful of books and even some mechanical tools he forgot to take back to his place. Michael never enjoyed making Maria to spend the night at the airstream, first because the overall place was tiny and uncomfortable, and second because her house had the whole atmosphere he dreamt about.

It was clear the effort they were putting into the relationship. Maybe a bit too much of an effort, some might say. As the time passed, everyone close to them noticed how the smiles between them stopped reaching their eyes. Michael would never admit it, but Alex being kidnapped only sped up the inevitable.

Michael knew something bad happened before Forrest came to him in the middle of a panic attack. He had this prickling feeling on his neck that something was just not right since he opened his eyes that morning. Now he was gripping the steering wheel of his truck and focusing on not letting his powers break something. The adrenalin rush being the only thing keeping him from having a mental breakdown. Actually, filling in Forrest with the whole alien thing was a great distraction because of the many details and intricate history he had to cover. Maybe Forrest noticed it and kept asking questions to ground Michael to the task at hand. Maybe Michael will find a way to subtly thank him later for that. Just maybe.

After finding a path of bodies that lead to a bleeding Alex on the floor, Michael felt like breathing for the first time that day. The relief was short, however, and the moment he saw the deadly wound (gun? Knife? Oh God it was bad) he knew what he should do. Forrest was holding an unconscious Alex on his arms. Somehow he managed to tear apart the bloodied shirt to ease the access to the wound (thanks Forrest, again). Michael's healing powers were shit, and he knew he wouldn't be able to heal Alex completely, but damn him if he weren't going to die trying.

The last thing he clearly remembers is the glow on his hands. He has flashes of walking to the car and drinking acetone. He was 75% sure he didn't hallucinate Kyle being there to check up on Alex. Did Alex really ask to sleep by his side? Was Forrest still there? Who knew? Definitely not him.

The next day Michael woke up at noon, still not sure if he was indeed in bed with those two guys or if it was just his brain revenging him after almost melting it the night before. Alex was still too drugged up for Michael to feel anything concrete from the handprint, but only the fact everyone was breathing was enough to calm him down.

This moment of silence between the three of them only gave Michael the reassurance to set things right with Maria. He couldn't keep marinating her in a below-average relationship just so he could prove a point. Maria deserved more than he could give her.

-------

The break-up was... complex. He could see jealousy and suspicion in her body language, and nothing Michael said changed that. Deep down she always new the possibility of Michael going back to Alex, but she was willing to try anyway. She was making an effort not to be too angry, after all she knew her friend had a past with the cowboy but still wanted to try a relationship. She avoided Alex for a while, scared for his reaction, but when the confrontation happened, she was met with nothing but understanding. She’ll never know how Alex could be so calm back then, because right now this fucking hurt and she wanted to punch something.

Moments before he left, Maria stopped him, asking him the one thing he didn't want to answer.

"Why are you choosing him now, Michael?" She asked while putting too much force on drying a cup of glass. "The other day he was stabbed, and you stayed for me. So, what changed? Definitely not Alex almost dying"

"I don't... know." He hesitated. Who was he kidding, this was their break-up and she deserved the truth, even if it meant not crossing her path ever again. "I think that nothing changed, actually. I really believed we had a chance at being happy together, you and I, and I was willing to try. I was so focused on choosing you over him every time that in that morning it was more of an autopilot choice. I didn't follow my heart because I’ve programmed myself to choose you." He could feel his voice cracking. The words were too painful even to him, but once he started he couldn't stop.

"God, Michael" she put the glass down hard, the only reason for not breaking being its thickness. "I am angry, and sad, and I don't want to see you for a while, but..." she looked at him, her voice going a bit soft for her next words "what we had was exhausting. I've been trying to pinpoint the moment where we turned the relationship into an obligation. Now I see it’s been like this since the beginning, but we couldn’t keep the act for too long." 

"I'm sorry, Deluca."

"I'm sorry too." She turned her back on him to organize the bottles on the shelf. "Just... stay away for a while, yes? I need to clear my head."

Michael tipped his cowboy hat and left without saying a word. Mixed with the sadness was a sense of relief. Now Deluca was free from him, free to search for someone who will wholeheartedly love her the way she deserved. He didn’t regret being with her, they took a shot and failed, but that’s life. At least they know they tried. His regret was on his actions. Maybe if he’d been more honest since the beginning, the end would’ve been different. 

-------

Alex was still asleep when Michael came back to the cabin. The handprint feeling was still fuzzy, so good thing Alex didn't feel all the whirlwind of emotions from the conversation with Maria. Michael had to drive around for a few hours after leaving the Wild Pony just to clear his head. The first thing he noticed when entering the cabin was Forrest in the kitchen, probably cooking something for Alex.

"Alex said, and I quote, you like your coffee like you like your men and women: strong and sweet. Is that right?" Forrest asked without taking his eyes from the stove. "I’m cooking everyone’s favourite because... well... because I can, but also because we deserve it. Alex and I ate half an hour ago, but gimme five minutes and your food will be ready."

Michal was shocked. One thing was Alex telling Forrest what Michael liked to eat and drink, another thing was for Forrest to get out of his way to just cook it. Why would he do that, specially considering he was the ex in the equation? 

"Michael, I barely know you and I can almost feel you overthinking this. Before Alex went back to take a nap he told me you were getting near the cabin and that I should start cooking. Which reminded me, later you both must explain the whole handprint thing for me. I’m still digesting the whole alien superpower thing, but I want to know more" Michael could hear Forrest's smile in his voice. Forrest was relieved and comfortable so his entire body acted like it. 

"Michael. Sit."

And he sat on the table without thinking twice. Sure, the warmth he was feeling towards Forrest was 100% from Alex because of the handprint, but damn this pocket-size historian for making it way too easy to like him.

Forrest put the meal on the table and sat near him. Michael only realised he was starving the moment he took the first bite, and in less than 10 minutes all the food was gone. The coffee was in a nice mug with the Slipknot logo on it, probably Forrest’s, because he knew Alex inclined towards the more emo bands.

As he rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, Forrest sat on the couch. Michael knew he should leave and let Forrest take care of Alex, but he ended up sitting by the historian's side. He simply didn't want to go.

"Michael..." Forrest started, with his voice soft and his eyes even softer. "You are probably confused by your feelings because of the handprint. Right now you are feeling what Alex feels, so we can only have this full conversation once you are out of Alex's system."

Michael had to take a sip of his coffee just to do something with his hands. In his mind he was bracing himself for the final blow that would destroy him. Forrest was going to order him to leave them alone and never go back.

"Alex told me about your history, and I am so sorry for all the trauma you went through, and I am not saying only your hand.”

Oh, so Forrest knew about that.

“The three of us... we grew up thinking that love and pain are intertwined, you can only love something if you suffer for it." Forrest grabbed Michael's hands, forcing Michael to keep eye contact. "It took me and Alex years and a literal war to understand that love is not painful. It’s hard to believe, both at home or in a battlefield, and even to this day I wake up with doubts.” He paused, taking a deep breath. Michael could see Forrest tensing up, an indication that the next words were hard for him to say out loud. 

“Maybe my family is right and being gay is a punishment, and I deserve to be loveless and miserable for the rest of my life. When you hear you’re not worthy enough times, you start believing in it. Some days nothing, and I mean nothing, can change my mind."

Forrest noticed Michael was getting uncomfortable, and let go of his hands. Both took a sip of their drinks before Forrest sighed, and Michael could see the sadness behind his eyes. A sadness he knew all too well, one that everyone carries but few could hide well. It was a sadness that put doubt in people's heart and turned their self-worth into smoke. Michael wanted to hold Forrest and tell him that everything was going to be alright, but it was probably Alex' influence.

"Alex told me you grew up in the system, the next family worse than the last. I’ve worked with endangered youth, kids with similar stories, and I know how ugly it can get.”

Michael tensed up even more, a reflex that Forrest mistook for annoyance or anger. Michael tried his best to relax, to show Forrest it wasn’t him. It was an unconscious reaction from years of abuse. The historian hesitated for a moment, but then continued.

“What I’m saying is that... it was hard for me to learn that suffering for love ain't romantic or cute. Alex and I want to help you get out of this destructive path you are going through, but we need to start things right. No lies, no secrets, and specially no shame." Forrest grabbed Michael's hand again, but this time Michael was more comfortable. "I want you both to be happy, even if it means me getting out of the picture eventually." As a reflex, Michael tightened his hand, a silent 'no' for the possibility. Forrest smiled and let his thumb caressed the back of Michael's hand.

"I know you can't make any decision right now. First because you just broke up with a long-term friend, and second because of the handprint. Much of your feelings are from Alex, so you are biased. But..." He stopped to bring Michael hands to his lips, and Forrest kissed them lightly with a hint of a smile "once we settle down, we can try something different.”

Michael was taken by surprise. He ran many scenarios in his head, and none of them came close to <i>that.

“I mean, what's the point of being a gay historian if I keep my mind closed towards contemporary interpersonal relations? Monogamy is a recent construct to better control nuclear households and… and... I am going to stop because I am losing the focus here.”

Michael laughed. He understood more and more Forrest's appeal. After a few hours of almost losing Alex and breaking up with Maria, Forrest managed to make Michael laugh.

“Alex says I get a bit too passionate about this matters and..."

"Can I kiss you?" Michael blurted, surprising even himself. "I know, I know, the handprint and all, but Alex's feelings are still fuzzy from the drugs and I am pretty sure he doesn't control every single emotion I have." Now it was time for Forrest to be taken aback. He pondered for two heartbeats and nodded, still processing what just happened. 

Michael caressed Forrest face, mimicking what the historian did few moments ago on the back of his hand. Michael’s calloused fingers brushed the other man’s face, bringing him closer. It started as a brush of lips, and then escalated to a slow and tender kiss. It was one of those that meant comfort, not sex. It made Michael feel warm and safe. Forrest was saying "I accept you and you can stay", and Michael almost felt like crying.

The kiss was broken when they felt the weight shift in the sofa. Michael didn't know for how long they’ve been kissing. The only thing he processed was Forrest on his lap by the time Alex showed up. Michael was starting to panic when Forrest just let a little laugh, going back to the couch to give Alex a kiss on his forehead.

Michael's heart only came back to normal because he could feel how calm and peaceful Alex was. If not for the handprint, he’d definitely be running away right now. After the initial shock, Michael started to process how easy it felt to kiss Forrest while actively ignoring how he was the current boyfriend of his ex.

"You're overthinking again, Michael." Surprisingly (or maybe not), this phrase came out of Forrest, again. He didn't need a handprint to understand what was going on inside the alien's head, and that scared Michael. If only by knowing the stories he understood Michael better than his siblings, what would Forrest be able to do with a little more intimacy?

"War taught us that we can't take tomorrow for granted." Alex said, with a hint of tiredness in his voice that only existed after a drug-induced sleep. "That doesn't mean I'll feel sorry for you and let you go away with all the shit you put me through, Guerin." Alright, back to the last name basis then. "But I will, actually we will, offer you a chance of redemption, but it will all depend on you."

"Own your mistakes and learn from them. Don't project your faults onto others." Forrest said while standing up from the couch. "That means no more bullshit, Guerin."

Michael felt oddly comforted by both men being so straightforward. Yeah, he could get used to this bluntness. Maybe this is the first change he has to make from now on.

"Once this handprint fades and we’re in fully control of our emotions, we’ll talk about possibilities. Right now I just need to focus on not dying from an infected wound which an alien helped to heal." Alex said, finishing Forrest's tea to the last drop.

“Now, let’s give ourselves some time to digest everything. God knows I still need to process that I made coffee for an alien”. Which, by the way, would you like some more tea, captain?” Forrest stood up and grabbing the mug from Alex' hands. He didn't have to look at Alex to know the answer. "More coffee for you, Michael?" He motioned to the mug on the table.

Michael nodded, still mesmerized by what was happening. They had a long path ahead of them, but he knew how easy could it be to fall into a routine with them. Maybe the Slpiknot mug would slowly turn into his mug, and this realisation terrified him.

Michael slowly gave the object to the historian. He felt like if he moved a bit too abrupt, everything would dissolve and he would wake up in the airstream. Instead, the only thing that happened was Forrest going back to the kitchen and Alex completely relaxed on the couch. 

“Did he give you the whole speech about monogamy and nuclear households? I mean, the whole speech?” Michael shook his head no, and Alex let out a soft laugh. “Then get ready for at least a two-hour lecture from him. I’m not exaggerating. He has a powerpoint presentation about it.” 

Michael could feel more of Alex as the seconds passed, and he has never been so sure that he wanted to change. Forrest and Alex started talking about nothing in particular and Michael closed his eyes, letting himself be surrounded by the tenderness and warmth radiating from that place.

the end

[alloveroliver]

Tell Me Anything Answers

From the V-Day Smooch Event Survey~💋

(Suggestions, comments, questions, or just say Hi!)

Here is where I answer some questions and just plain ol’ respond to all the positive feedback I got for fun!

Take the kiss survey HERE!

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡  ♥ ୨♡୧ ♥  ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

HI I LOVE YOU -I love you too!!! Thanks for filling out my survey XD

Hiiii you’re awesome!!! - No, you’re awesome!

Thank you! -You’re v welcome my friend

Can I just like... Smooch Zero all over his sweet face? Or have Seth smooch me all over MY sweet face~ -So pure! <3 Goals tbh. I will add this to my list of ideas cuz I like this xD

A scavenger hunt! Maybe ending in a proposal?🤔 -I actually love this! I'll add it to my idea pile XD

Hi! Hope you're doing good😊😊- I am doing great! Thank you! I hope you are well~

Hi thanks so much for this event, it will probably be more fun then what rev does! Looking forward to it so much! Thank you for all the effort you always put into your work and for sharing it for us all to read!-skjfdlsldfk AHHH YOU'RE AWESOME! I appreciate your words of encouragement so much! I hope this event is fun for everyone! A small healthy competition and some smooches seem like a good way to kick off valentine's day.

Hi ^^- helooooo <3

You're the best, ash!- AH! TY! I think  you’re the best sooo

Hiya! Just wanted to say I love your writing! Always eager to see more.-Oh thank you so much!!!! I’m so happy to share something I love with the world! And i'm DOUBLE happy people are enjoying it!

Psst ily <3- ILY TOO! lsdjflksdj

I love both Jonah and Edgar. It's sooo hard to pick one for Red Army 😭 Can I not kiss Black Army to kiss our Red Queen and Jack instead XD I love your writing and room full of Oliver! - I know it's hard to pick just one D’: but don’t fret! Even if they don’t win this time around, there will be another open request box soon!!! I’m so happy you love my writing! Ty for telling me! And ROOM FULL OF OLIVER YES!!! I love those little chibis XD even the grumpy ones.

Have a wonderful day Mrs. Ash Knight :)- AHHHHHHHHHHH!~~!!!!!! YOU JUST MADE MY ENTIRE LIFE CALLING ME THAT! I'M MARRIED YALL!!!! LSDJFLSJDFL I am legally obligated to have a wonderful day now after reading that XD XD XD Tbh this will be my pen name from now on XD

WHATEVER YOU WRITE IS A BLESSING AND I'LL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!!! -THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! I’m excited to see what prompts come above the rest!

Love your writing! Xoxo- Thank you so much! XOXOXO I appreciate you!

💖💖💖💖- <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hello! Thanks for doing this <3 lots of hugs from a fan!- Hi! You’re v welcome my friend! I hug you back HARDER! *Many bear hugs*

Ily pls hydrate urself- ILY TOO! I cannot hydrate, for when I see Oliver I simply become hella thirsty.

I love your work <3- I am so happy! Thank you so much!!! I am happy to share it with you!

JSJSJSHKWJQ STOP MAKING ME CHOOSE ;;;;; but thank you for doing this! ♡♡♡♡♡- Lololololol. I am happy to do this! You are welcome XD <3

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️- XOXOXOXOXOXO *Muah*

Hallo~! Good luck ducky. Wish ya the best on your writing prompts.- Thanks for the luck! Also, you said ducky and I thought of the creeks helping me type out the fics XD They would be good helpers tbh.

Hi! <333- Hey! <3 Thanks for filling out the survey

Just to say thanks for doing this <3<3- *Muah!* You’re welcome, my friend!

Thank you for doing this survey! I appreciate that you’re writing things for us, and can’t wait to see what comes out as the winning prompt! - NP NP!!! I am happy to do so! I want to make this round of fics extra special! I hope you enjoy them!!! Thank you <3

Hello! I love your stories! As someone who spends a lot of time on tumblr reading b/c the teacher can't recommend me stuff, I really appreciate it. A thank you from a struggling student trying ( and failing) to get her life together.- XD I'm glad to be of assistance! I am still very new to writing but with encouragement like this, it makes me want to practice more!!! Thank you!

Luka! :)- I agree 100%. <3 <3 <3

Hello! I just want to say, I love your writing! I’m a newer fan, but I already love your stuff! I don’t really have any questions though... whatever. Bye! <3 Lots Of love! - Thank you for telling me you love it!!! I appreciate you! Welcome to my blog XD lol Happy to have you <3

I'm not sure if you would know but when do you think Loki's Main Route will come out?  I just finished Edgar's (🎉👏♥️😍😍) and I'm not sure if I should wait or if I should just play Jonah's route as if there is time.-I am going to guess around the end of Feb. Maybe the 20-22 since the new bonus stories end around that time XD Might be a few days before, but all the bonus stories will be released before the route is released I'm sure. OH! You can start a new route! Ikerev allows you to switch routes for free and it saves you spot on the old route! So whenever you want to go back, you don’t have to start all over again. I hope that helps!

I'm so excited for this. Can't wait! Thank you. I'm looking forward for it~ (๑>ᴗ<)و- I can’t wait either!!! I’m glad you’re excited! This is gonna be so much fun XD

I love your writing and am super excited you are doing this event! Eagerly awaiting the winners and the stories!!!- Thank you so much!!!! That makes me giddy that you like my writing!!!! I am also eagerly awaiting. I’m taking bets with myself to see who’s going to win in each category XD

I'm really glad I subscribed to your blog as soon as I found it :з Keep being awesome (and don't push yourself) - Oh yay!!! I am super happy you did! I update a lot right now lolol. And if they ever release Olivers route NO FORCE CAN STOP ME! XD XD XD but also your concern is so sweeeeet lasdjgldsjkfl I may push myself a bit but I will take lots of breaks I promise! Thank you! <3

Hewwo :3- Henlo :3

I love your writing, it makes me feel like I can travel to a different universe without leaving my bedroom :) - WOW OMG THIS IS A HUGE COMPLIMENT TY!!!!! I strive for this!! I want to be transported somewhere everytime I read and I'm so happy to be doing that for you!!!! <3

Loki & Me are my OTP. This rhymes, so it counts as a poem- lmFAO you crack me up XD. It does, you are a poet now my friend.

I wuv you Ash, you is a good bean <3- I love you tooo!!! I’m happy to be a bean :3 Thank you for taking your time to do this survey!!! You’re awesome!!!

Love your work!!! My heart skips a beat whenever I see you post new stuff! As a fellow writer, let’s support each other! -IT SKIPS A BEAT!? I AM SLDKGJLKSDFJ SPEECHLESS TY!!!! I am here to support all writers!!!

Hello you wonderful person you. 😘- WONDERFUL!? LSDJGFLSDJF YOU’RE SO SWEET! I think YOU are wonderful!!!!

Hewwo I luv you uwu- :3 hello!!!! ILY!!!!

I have nothing to say except I'm excited to see what you come up with! Your stories are always amazing and I'm sure these will be too! :)- WOW TY! Thank you so much! I work really hard to try to make something fresh and new every time and I’m glad you like them!!!! I am excited to see what comes out of the tips of my fingers too XD XD

I say hi! Good luck for this event! You're doing amazing ~- Pure. Wholesome. I love you. Thank you!

This is fun! Thank you.- Woo! Im glad it’s fun!!! NP NP! I appreciate you!

I love you and your writing you are so amazing ❤❤❤❤❤- I LOVE YOU MORE!!!! AHH~!! Youre awesome! Thank you for the compliment!!!! <3 <3

Some of those prompts seemed a little assulty?? I'm sorry! E.g. kisses them to make them stop saying something; angry kisses (no consent...) -  These are prompts and not stories, so extrapolating saying its non-consensual is of your own imagination. “Angry kisses,” and “Stopping someone one from saying something with a kiss,” can be written a thousand different ways. Many of the prompts here have hundreds of different scenarios to be written around. However, If I write something, that is dub/con or non/con it will be tagged at the beginning of the fic so you can freely skip over it. :)

This will be exciting. I’m Looking forward to reading your stories. -I am perpetually excited as I tally up the smooches! I can’t wait to post them to see what you think! <3

This is a great idea and a big inspiration, thank you! - IM GLAD YOU THINK SO!!! <3 <3  You’re v welcome! XOXO

I appreciate all the work you put into this. The prompts are so interesting. Fenray kiss!- YOU APPRECIATE ME OGMOMG TY!!!!! ILY ILY. I’m glad you like the prompts XD I sifted through so many until I was happy with the ones left hehe. FENRAY! They seem to be v popular! I also ship them, but I am a slut and I ship everyone with everyone sooo xD

I love your work!❤- THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’m glad!!!!! This fills my heart with joyyyyy!

Hi!  ;-)- Hellloooo *wink wonk*

I love your blog❤️❤️- I appreciate that!!! Thank you for taking my survey! XD

I'm so excited to see the results of this!! I hope Blanc will get a story >////<- I am excited too!!! You never know who will come out on top! The results have been going back and forth a bit XD

Hi Ash, I'm already looking forward to the outcome of this survey- Hey!!! I am so ecstatic!!!!! I will be posting a bunch of graphs to show the results. So that should be fun to see <3

Are you going to write a fic for each category? I'm really looking for them!! 💕- I sure am! I have 5 fics waiting to be planned based on the results! I will also be doing some inspo-driven drabbles of some of the results for funsies XD

SENPAI!!! I love your work! Are you excited for Loki’s route?- sldkjglsjdf IM NOTICING YOU!!! Lolol omg (that was a dumb joke from me sorry lol).  I am so happy you love my work!!!! THANK YOUUUU I am v excited for Loki’s route! I think Loki is an interesting guy and he’s got a back story I’d like to sip through a straw.

Thank you a lot for doing this, you're awesome ♡- You are welcome my friend!! And I think YOU'RE AWESOME!!!

God's work op!!!!- lololool THANKS! XD Thank you for taking the survey!

Hello, Ash!- Hello there! I hope you have a great week!

I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your Lancelot x Alice fics! They are masterpieces and your writing is so awesome! - MASTERPIECES!? AHHH!!!! TY!!!! <3 <3 BLESS YOU lsjdkflsjfd  I-um-lowkey LOVE Lance. It was his side content that got me tbh. I feel like I connected with him more with the side content. Maybe because I played his route early on and was v new to ikerev. Either way, he's, uhhhh a top bae now XD

Please write more Lance and Alice fics! I always enjoy reading them:)- Yes!!!! There will be more in the future for sure! XD I sooo soo happy you enjoy them!!!

I'm also really looking forward to your ""kiss in the rain"" fic, featuring Lancelot and Alice. I just hope you decide that this fic is worth writing!- It’s going to be based on popular vote, but the kiss in the rain seems to be a general fav! So I’m excited to see who wins and who gets it! XD

I wish you the best of luck for the upcoming Valentine's gacha!- Thank you so much!!! I can’t wait to see what the gacha gods have in store for me this round XD Thanks for the luck!!! <3

こんにちわ！😁 - Howdy XD

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡  ♥ ୨♡୧ ♥  ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

-Some are edited to conceal people’s identity or a defining feature XD (just to keep this anon since I didn’t ask specifically if anyone wanted to be called out <3)

I want to thank everyone for participating in the voting!!! I had a bigger turnout than I would have ever dreamed! You guys are awesome and I am looking forward to writing these fics for you lovely people 💋

If you haven’t already, Take the kiss survey HERE!

[lizziebennet]

I've been following you for a while and I've noticed how much you love Pride and Prejudice. I also love both the book and the 2005 film, but I've always had one pretty serious problem with the storyline. I've never understood why Elizabeth falls for Darcy. I've read the book countless times, seen the film even more than that, and I still don't understand. Why does Elizabeth, a wonderful, bright, independent, and headstrong woman fall in love with a man who has repeatedly shamed her and her

family? And when he attempts to make up for hurting Elizabeth’s feelings, he really only fixes the things HE RUINED in the first place (ie Jane and Bingley’s relationship). Other than that, I still don’t understand why Elizabeth should fall in love with this man. She even states that “only the deepest of loves will persuade me into matrimony”, and Darcy has done nothing to warrant that love besides giving Lydia the money for her marriage. I’ve looked up to Lizzy since I was 11 and I don’t get it

[crackles knuckles] buckle up yall we’re ab to get DEEP into pride and prejudice

ok well first of all thanks for sending me this ask bc i love talking ab p&p as everyone knows. 

so ur question: Why does lizzie fall for darcy??????

i like to think about it this way: what would’ve happened if lizzie hadn’t overheard darcy and bingley belittle her at the dance?(there are some rly good fics on this topic btw) how wouldve lizzie and darcy’s relationship progressed differently if lizzie hadn’t been determined to hat e him before they ever really interact? because of their interactions after that hinge on lizzie’s opinion of darcy being set – hes a pompous dick. she decides it. but what if she had greeted him with an open mind like any other new acquaintance? i think she wouldve probably still thought he was awkward and pompous but realized much sooner that there was more to him than that. 

because what happens in the book is that while darcy is having this evolution from his prejudiced view of lizzie based on her social status to falling in love with her, lizzie isnt budging from her opinion that darcy is a dick because she hasnt had any positive interactions with him to change that view. when wickham (a guy she literally jUST met and doesnt have any connections with) tells her darcy is an asshole she believes it right away because thats already how she views him. 

in short what im saying that they both start out with a predisposition to dislike one another – darcy because lizzie isnt high born and lizzie because she overhears darcy say a mean thing about her. darcy’s opinion changes because he spends time with lizzie (and jane) and sees what great amazing vibrant people they are. 

but lizzies opinion of darcy doesnt change except to get WORSE based on what other people tell her. and thats because of one of the central problems in p&p: DARCY IS HORRIBLE AT COMMUNICATING WITH OTHER PEOPLE!!! he cant show his personality to lizzie the same way she does to him because hes so awkward and doesnt know how to act well. i think if darcy didn’t have issues with being around new people lizzie’s opinion of him would change so much more quickly and thats because DARCY IS ACTUALLY A GOOD PERSON!!!!!

the bennets are always like why does bingley who is amazing hang out with darcy who is the worst??? its because darcy is actually a caring and compassionate friend again he just doesnt do well with new people. we see this with how he interacts with georgiana, when the housekeeper at pemberley tells lizzie and her aunt and uncle that darcy is adored by all the staff and everyone in town, etc etc. darcy is a good person – not perfect, he def has lots of faults like pride and prejudice and classism for example – but he just isnt good at showing that thru words. 

so what changes lizzies mind??? even if darcy is secretly a good person why would lizzie care after what he did to jane and bingley? well a few very important things happen. 

1. lizzie gets the letter from darcy. this letter isnt a 100% fix it situation because he doesnt explain the rude things he says ab her family but it does explain ab wickham and make lizzie feel for him ab that whole situation. it also explained ab jane and bingley and while lizzie doesnt agree w him, it def changes her perspective that darcy is an evil villain who just wanted to cause pain. still, after the letter she mostly feels awkward and guilty and embarrassed but no love. 

2. darcy practices. when at rosings lizzie makes fun of how bad darcy is at talking to people and he tells her that its not something that comes naturally to him. lizzie tells him to “take his aunts advice and practice” and when lizzie goes to pemberley its obvious that he hAS BEEN PRACTICING!!!! lizzie notes that he is not at all like how he was when she interacted with him before, and her aunt and uncle are like why did u tell us darcy was such a bad dude?? he rules?? darcy isnt perfect but the point is that he gets better – he learns!!! lizzie teaches him!!!!!! he becomes better – less judgmental, less standoffish because he wanted to better for lizzie. 

3. actions speak louder than words. even tho darcy is getting better at talking his actions still speak louder than what he says. the way he interacts with georgiana at pemberley, the way he rescues lydia, the way he convinces bingley to go back to jane. these actions show lizzie that the TRUE person he is and make her realize that hes actually Great. 

like if ur thinking ab lizzie and darcy as darcy is an ass why does lizzie change her mind about him i view it differently?? like i think darcy was always a good person who is very suited to lizzie but because of the communication errors (lizzie “willfully misunderstanding” him) and drama that goes on, lizzie doesnt find this out until the end. 

because i do think that lizzie and darcy are Very suited for each other. they are SO ALIKE (lizzie says this so cutely at the end of the 2005 version). they are both proud and they both have prejudices. lizzie kind of thinks shes better than everyone else and love to make fun of people and secretly watch their “follies” to get amusement. darcy prefers to be by himself or with a close few because he generally thinks all new people arent really worth his time. they are both really fiery and passionate. and i think they both challenge each other like… when u think ab darcy growing up losing his parents at a young age and being so rich do u think anyone really called him out on his shit in his entire adult life??? no. so when lizzie like dragged his ass thru the dirt it was probably the first time anyone told him that he came off like a total douche. and even tho lizzie makes fun of darcy when he says “my good opinion once lost is lost forever” ISNT THAT EXACTLY WHAT LIZZIE IS LIKE??? she decides she hates darcy and likes wickham and then realizes she was totally wrong about both of them. 

they are also both oblivious about their friends’ love lives even though they want whats best for them (im talking ab charlotte for lizzie) and both are really loyal to their families. and yeah, what darcy said ab lizzies family was really really rude but was it different than anything lizzie has said before??? she is constantly getting annoyed/embarrassed by her mom and her sisters. so. 

i really think they are soulmates because they bring out the best in one another. they challenge each other and have really different viewpoints and upbringings but the same core values. 

i hope this maybe explained a little of why they fall in love??? basically it wasnt about the lydia wickham thing at all but about lizzie Seeing darcy as he truly is.