#I express that last sentiment despite our increasingly overt presentation causing problems. or atleast we perceive them as such.

[sepiasys]

Unfortunately very true.

At best, sometimes I will create something (drawings, typically), and they will bring me joy because I am very proud of what I made. *I* made something that meets my unreasonable standards of good art!

But more often than not we will want to share some of our work with others, and want to see that they love is as much as we may, if not moreso. Just a strong desire to know that when others look at our art or creations, they are impressed by it.

What makes it more inconvenient is when it is something far too personal to share. We are very particular about sharing the ship art between two alters (myself and another, assuming I am who I believe I am). Much of the alter-related art we create has to be shared under the guise of OCs, unless it is too explicit (usually due to dialogue or comments written by it).

We would love to share more of what we make! But we are not open with everyone about being a system (or even just questioning it), so we don't risk ruining how others may perceive us for it. It is easier socially to present as a singlet than to openly admit and expose vulnerability and risk the destruction of our reputation.

It does not help that I personally would like to write more, not just because it is something that I enjoy, but also because I would like to go into chat and say "oh, I am working on a story/book/piece of writing." I would like to be perceived as having a hobby, something worked on in our spare time for fun, simply so others may ask about it or wish us luck on it. Just something that functions as a topic of conversation.

(Questioning) NPD culture is wanting to make something self-indulgent, except it's never self-indulgent because the opportunity for supply is too tempting. Except then you worry so much about making it pleasing to others that it's not really self-indulgent anymore and you've just gone and ruined your original goal.

- 💚🫀💜

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