#I even wrote a cover letter
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paridoxpower · 3 months ago
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Praying and bargaining to the job gods when you come across the perfect job and they just
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‘you only get the shitty ones babe :)’
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boyfridged · 6 months ago
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What do you think about bruce wayne?
that is such a broad question… but i guess i rarely talk about bruce specifically, in isolation. and i love bruce dearly, despite despite despite… despite the fact that it took me so long to get there even, because for years of reading dc comics he was a nuance to me. but i am now tremendously interested in bruce wayne. i have a soft spot for pre-crisis bruce, his geniality and zest, that easy affection. but i’m also interested in bruce of the “dark” post-crisis era, and where their personalities meet at…
so i’m interested in bruce wayne who took the idea of “grief work” too literally. in how he invented a myth for his tikkun olam and did it wrong. and hence in a myth that grows hungry and implicates others in tragic cycles. in bruce wayne whose kindness makes him project on people that would be better off without it. all to say, i’m mostly interested in how batman sees a man, dead in crime alley and thinks: that could be me. my beginning and my probable end. and who ought to rectify that opinion later, by admitting he thought he’d be a victim of his own mission, but it was his son instead.
his biggest trouble: he perfected the vigilante-civilian lives compartmentalisation, but it lasted no longer than a few years, only for his newly-found family members to enter the picture and mess his brilliant system of identity split… because with children, there’s no dichotomy - they will be his in cowl and out of it, and there will be a price to pay. and bruce realises that, when his abandonment issues also come into play - when he pushes his sons away to protect them from a life of his own invention.
i want these narratives to be complex; i want stories in which his love, just as his grief, gets ugly. and his grief, just as his love, becomes graceful and merciful. however that quote went, about being like gd -- loving everything/everyone and therefore nearly no one/nothing. not a comparison too out of place, since the whole world bends to his personal story.
but i also want the real, breathing thing, ordinary. i want bruce wayne a socialite that truly enjoys high society, as per old canon, that bristol man who drags his body through gotham whole, one with it and yet separated through the numbers in his bank account. i’m interested in bruce wayne rich and a rehabilitationist and therefore worryingly liberal-leaning-conservative. bruce wayne and his stupid, soft robes, and reading glasses, and barbecue parties, and that mini-golf in his WE office, having all of that while playing an every-man.
but that doesn’t answer the question, does it- i suppose what i think of bruce wayne is that: he’s wrong about nearly everything but that love matters. and he's most compelling when put in opposition to leslie, who reads him like an open book and thinks of him: a monster of her own.
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tarantula-hawk-wasp · 5 months ago
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forcing myself to function through anxiety feels like im piloting an animatronic of myself
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theclearblue · 4 months ago
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I need y'all to form a prayer circle around me so that I can get the job I applied for
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depresseddepot · 28 days ago
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yeah okay. maybe it is actually all worth it
#the fucking lights in his little eyes.....#i had to crop most of this out bc i don't want my face on the internet but unpictured is him standing horizontally against the chair#and basically laying across my shoulders and kicking his neck back like that#YOU CAN EVEN SEE THE LITTLE SPOTS WHERE HIS TEETH POKE OUT BC THEY'RE TOO BIG FOR HIS DAMN MOUTH#he LOVES to sit and watch movies w me but i don't have a couch and the chair is sort of awkward for him#so to think that one day i will be in my own apartment watching a movie on a comfy couch with this thing crawling all over me....#it'll be hard but if i get to see him like this all the time maybe it'll all be worth it#ive noticed i have a hard time sharing happy things bc im worried people will hold them against me when i become not so happy#so when i have my 30th depressive spiral of the week in like 12 hours nobody is allowed to use this post to invalidate my drama ok#not that i think anyone would but still#just bc i am happy now does not mean i will be happy tomorrow and im trying to learn how to recognize when i feel happy#but it always comes w a little hint of ''people will use this against you''#and for me remembering that i was once very happy and will be happy again does NOT make me feel better#bc who gives a shit if i was once happy and will be again! i feel like shit rn and i WILL AGAIN#anyway. i DONT feel like shit rn but you get the metaphor#edge of sleep. cool movie. my cat rubbed all over me. AND i don't have to work tomorrow#AND i wrote my cover letter today#anyway nite nite
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Off my meds and feeling better so am I feeling better because Im off my meds or because Im manic?
Let’s discuss with the 3 hours of sleep I got 28 hours ago…
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familyofpaladins · 9 months ago
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Why are certain tasks impossible to even try to do sometimes?
Like I know I need to do a thing, but when I try to work on it or even think about it, my brain turns to static.
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freebooter4ever · 1 year ago
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ethan is pushing SO HARD for this job and im so confused 😂
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synonymouslyyours · 1 year ago
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.
#vent#someones giving me a referral for an internship and im so grateful buts its happening so damn fast and i cant get this goddamn cover letter#its my first time writing a cover letter now that i have actual experience to draw upon and its such a different skillset than#the bullshit i wrote before#and youd think it would be easier but i am just so overwhelmed and cannot handle this#i found out about the internship monday. met with the guy for the referral tuesday. and so he wants my materials to recommend on wednesday#but its 5am and i dont have it done yet and im scared ive already fucked this up because i shouldve tried harder but im just freaking out#cuz i still havent done my homework and i still havent done any of my grading work for 17 fucking students and i need to interview peopl fo#project management stuff in the next couple days and i need to fix my class schedule by thursday and its rosh hashana on friday night and i#just cant do it all im not managing to do any of it#but this is huge opportunity the internship is at a great company and its 50 bucks an hour which is crazy and this guy is a great connectio#which i dont have for any other opportunity so#i dont know if i can afford to fuck this up and i just need to get it done but i just cant i just cant do it and i tried to schedule a#career advising meeting but theyre all taken until THURSDAY and the guy really likes proactive people and hes for sure going to have a#lowered opinion of me for not being able to get a cover letter done which is supposed to only take 15 minutes#so im fucked and i fucking hate everything im just so goddamn done with how stressful everything is even when good things are happening lik#whats the goddamn point#ok i think im having an anxiety attack
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rorygilmre · 1 year ago
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anyways i literally found and applied to my dream job today and i have never wanted a job THIS badly before... like i will do anything to get that position.
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chthonicmoons · 2 years ago
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not to be dramatic but i just looked up cover letter templates/examples/how-to’s and the results made me want to walk into the sea
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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 months ago
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it's like earlier this year here in australia, some fucking idiots guys thought it'd be funny to drop off several kilo's worth of tins of soup..... all of which were several years out of date.... to food banks around sydney that are currently being used by everyone in the cost of living crisis. they were fined like 70k for dropping off that purposely expired food.
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#life#about me#yeah it's like the fuckin shitty ass centrelink job training course CL forced me to go to to even GET my jobseeker payment....#.....back in late 2023 and the presenter woman just went ON AND ON AND ON AND ON about the.....#..... 'the only way ANY OF YOU will EVER get a job is to vibrate at 750htz in love; contentment and peace'....#.....bc right now all of you are vibrating at 80htz in resentment loathing and hate bc you've all been fired or have left your jobs'.....#.....just be like me ALWAYS vibrating at 750htz in gratitude and love etc and then you'll GET ALL OF THE UNIVERSAL ABUNDANCE....#....OF OPPORTUNITIES THAT YOU DESERVE#and then all the other si#*all the other shit she fuckin said thag has NOTHING TO DO with job hunting and shit#i wrote liveblogging posts about it bc it was so awful lmao#and im kinda tempted to blaze some of them bc there's enough space between it now#ans also how she tried to scam me almost into working for her for free to do all her life admin and promote her shitty book#and how she guilted me with it like 'remember YOU ARE SO CLOSE to getting a job amd i WANT a reason to VET your so called trustworthiness...#....eyc etc that you write SO MUCH about in your cover letter. BUT remember if you tell anyome (bc im not actually supposed to do this)#i WONT give you a good reference. so work for me... for free.... and i'll work you HARD to PROVE your worth....#.....and i'll give you a GLOWING reference ☺️ remember to use ALL the opps the universe gives you and i'll...#....i'll be teaching you the WHOLE time how to vibrate in contentment and love#i never emailed her back bc it was such a fucking huge red flag sitch#ilona's jobhunting thoughts and woes#ilona's work thoughts#ilona's work dilemmas#ilona adds to a big post#a toast to the q kids 2024
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pochx · 10 months ago
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sorry i know this is me not being good at like functioning but i can't bear to keep pouring myself into these cover letters just to keep getting ghosted on job apps
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drbtinglecannon · 1 year ago
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o(--(
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msgexymunson · 7 months ago
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The Ink Shop
Description: Desperate for a job, you answer an advertisement not knowing it's a tattoo shop. It's not particularly difficult work, except for one thing: having to deal with Eddie Munson. 
Warnings: NSFW, minors DNI or I'll tell your parents, fem reader, thick sexual tension, angst and smut. Fingering. 
A/N: I finally wrote it! The teach me fic I've been day dreaming about forever. This will be part one of three, and honestly this is one of the hottest things I've written. If you enjoy it, please comment and reblog, it means the world to me. 
8k words
Masterlist Part 2
Screwing your nose up in confusion, you look at the meticulously cut snippet of newspaper neatly attached to your resume with a paperclip. Sure enough, receptionist and administrator wanted for a place called ‘The Ink Shop’. 
The outside of the building looks a little bleak, all decked out in black with frosted windows, but the fading lettering above does indeed spell out ‘The Ink Shop’. 
Weird. This does not look like a printers. 
You smooth down a minor wrinkle in your white shirt and open the door with unsure hands, the bell above ringing out loudly. 
Oh. 
This is not a printers. This is a tattoo shop. 
The thought hadn't even crossed your mind. The noise is a cacophony of buzzing, rock music and loud conversation. Art hangs on every available wall, the wallpaper underneath a royal purple, faded over time. There's frames upon frames of predesigned pieces for people to choose from, and an enormous wooden counter, black and gouged with use, directly in front of the doors. 
Taking a confidence boosting breath you march forward, pencil skirt stretching and heels clicking on the black and white linoleum, and stand by the counter. No one seems to have noticed your arrival, and a polite cough is not going to cut it. 
“Hello?” Calling out to the shop, a devilishly handsome tattooed man in a ripped band shirt, black jeans and scuffed army boots turns his head. Loose dark curls escape a low bun and swivel with him, framing his animated face. He saunters over to the counter and towers over you, giving you an appraising look. 
“You old enough to be in here sweetheart?” He asks, amused, as he points to the sign on the wall that states ‘Strictly Over 21s, no exceptions’. 
“Yes?” You're trying to be confident but it comes out as a question, entirely taken aback by the strength of his stare. 
“Oh, well then I'm Eddie,” he holds out a hand and you're forced to reach up to shake it, but to your surprise he doesn't let go. The skin is rougher than you thought it would be, and absolutely covered in small tattoos. “What is it today? Let me guess, cover up an ex boyfriend's name? I can help you forget all about him.” 
The grin he shoots back is nothing short of predatory. All you can think of is that old childhood song, never smile at a crocodile…
“No, no, I'm here about the job?” 
He looks genuinely surprised, taking in your outfit in another flagrant stare. 
“Really? You?” 
“Yes, me.” You respond, cheeks flushing in annoyance. 
“Hey, Mac!” He calls over his shoulder and a big guy with a shaved head lowers his tattoo gun, glancing over at you both. “This girl's after a job?” 
Mac stands up slowly and begins to walk over. 
“You can let go now princess.” 
Staring at Eddie dumbfoundedly, you realise his grip on your hand has softened completely. Whipping your hand away, you flash him a defiant eye. It's ineffective; he merely grins wider and winks at you, poking his tongue out playfully. You see a hint of silver, a tongue piercing. 
“Hey there, I'm Mac, the owner.” another handshake, but gentler and brief. You introduce yourself and go to hand him your resume. 
A phone rings on the counter and Mac shouts “no!” just as Eddie picks it up. 
“Mac’s Roadkill Café, from your grill to ours.” Eddie delivers the line as smooth as silk, never taking his eyes off you. “Yeah, it's Eddie, of course. Oh, I'll tell him. Thanks.” 
As Eddie turns to Mac he's given a small but effective slap to the back of the head by Mac. 
“What did I tell you, stop answering like that!” 
Eddie just grins wider and looks at you again, a fake pout on his full lips. 
“You see that? Harassment in the workplace. Wanna kiss it better?” 
Mac shuts his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, then turns to face you again. 
“Are you immediate start?” 
“Er, yeah. I've got my resume, and references here-” 
“Listen Miss, if you can read and write, answer a phone, and put up with that-” he says, gesturing a thumb at Eddie, “then you've got the job.” 
Thank God, two of those references were your best friend with different names. Stunned, you just nod fast.
“Great. Tomorrow morning. We open at 10am.” 
Saying goodbye, you turn to exit, and risk one final glance over your shoulder. Eddie's still at the counter. A disarming wink, and then the door shuts behind you. 
********************
So, not exactly what you expected, but a job's a job. After getting a degree, you'd assumed doors would open, but a string of coffee houses later and here you are. You'll take it. 
It's 9:30 am, and you stand outside, wondering whether or not to try the door. Keen, but not too keen. It's a line you're trying to toe without much experience, especially with an establishment like this. 
A pretty woman with an undercut and a butterfly neck tattoo stirs you out of your calculations. 
“Hey, I'm Chloe. You're the new girl, right? Eddie bet you'd be early.” 
Blushing at the entirely accurate first impression, you try to stop your nose scrunching in distaste. As if reading your mind, Chloe chuckles.
“Ah, don't worry about him, he's an idiot. Come on, I'll show you the ropes.” 
Chloe is the piercer that basically rents a place in the shop, where she's been for around three years, she explains. There's also Julio, who does more realistic tattoo work, and Miranda who works part time. 
Chloe turns out to be warm and welcoming, showing you how they book clients in, how to take payments, and the phone note system. It's straightforward work, stuff you'll master in no time. In fact, you feel comfortable enough by 10 am to sit at the counter on your own.
Mac arrives on time, giving you a quick check in and taking down all your information on a yellow legal pad. 
“Do you not have a computer in here?” you ask, genuinely puzzled. 
“Oh no, not yet. I don't know how to work those things, Miss.” Mac chuckles, and gets to his station to prepare for his first client.
At 10:45 am Eddie walks through the door as if he owns the place. 
Your eyes widen at his brazen lateness, but no one seems to bat an eyelid. It boils your blood; to be that disrespectful and clearly not care. How could someone act like that? 
“Hey princess, didn't think you'd come back,” he smiles, reaching for your hand. 
Oh I'm not falling for that again. 
You pull your hand into your lap, expecting trickery from him. A smug grin smears across his face at the gesture, as if he knew you'd do that. It makes you even more annoyed. 
“Eddie, the book says you start,” you say, flicking through the tome in front of you, “ah, at 10 am today.” 
“It's walk-in Wednesday sweetheart. There's no one here.” 
He's got a point. Chloe had explained the tattoo artists work a shift of Wednesdays, someone is always available for walk-ins for small and pre designed pieces. Today is Eddie's turn, and he's right, no one is here. 
“Well, there could have been,” you snark back, folding your arms. 
He crosses into the shop, pushing the little gate open and stands next to you, arms crossed. The height you had is now lost, forcing you to look up at him. 
“As far as I know, you ain't the boss of me. I suggest taking the stick out of your ass before you come here.” 
Mouth falling open in outrage, you move to reply but he's already turned away. 
“Oh, and princess, there ain't a dress code.” 
He's gone, disappearing upstairs. Blushing crimson, you cross your arms as if you can hide the conservative outfit you're wearing. 
You're beginning to see why Mac asked if you could put up with Eddie. 
********************
Halfway through the day, you realise just why Mac puts up with Eddie. 
“Hey! Seeing if I can book with Eddie?” 
“Any appointments with Eddie?” 
“Just checking to see if Eddie had any cancellations?” 
It seems most calls are about him. As you check his schedule, it's not only fully booked for the next 6 months, they've even started a waiting list at the back. 
“Any walk-ins?”
The words next to your ear make you jump bodily, almost losing your place on your chair in alarm. 
“You scared me! No, I would have said,” turning to him, you're sucked into those deep brown eyes once again. “Why do you do walk-in Wednesdays if you're so… so popular?” 
Eddie flashes a smile at you, full of self importance. “I don't know sweetheart, Van Gogh wasn't made to doodle!” Shouting the last part at the back of Mac's head, he turns to you. “We just divided the shifts, so it was fair, that's all. Why, want a tattoo?” 
You roll your eyes. “No, I was just wondering.”
“Do you have any, princess?” 
“Not that it's any of your business, but no, I don't.” 
The laugh that rips from Eddie's chest is hearty and full of amusement. 
“You work in a tattoo shop and you don't have any? That's practically blasphemy!” 
The little bell above the door rings, and a nervous guy looks around before walking in. Before you see what he wants, you shout to Eddie's retreating back. 
“Van Gogh was only famous after he died, you know!” 
It's a little later on in the day; you've done a stock take, ordered more ink, and neatened up the consent sheets three times. The phone hasn't rung in a while, and you're bored out of your mind. 
Chloe walks over, coat in her hand. 
“Hey, how you getting on?” 
“I'm good, just bored.” 
She laughs, “it's not always this quiet, mid week and all. Mac's done for the day, and I'm heading off. You gonna be OK?” 
You glance over to Eddie, who to your surprise is tattooing his own fingers. 
“What, with the untrained monkey? I'll live.” 
She laughs harder at that, “he's not so bad, once you get to know him.” Lowering her voice, she whispers, “he's good at some things, you know.” The conspiratorial wink fills in what she isn't saying. Cheeks flushed, you gawp at Eddie and back at Chloe. 
“Huh? W-what, are you like, an item?” You ask, entirely thrown. 
“Oh no, he's not exactly boyfriend material. It was just one night, but bloody hell. Anyway, it's not like that anymore, we're just friends now. Maybe you two should just, you know.” 
A blush floods your face, almost reaching the roots of your hair. “I don't- I don't, do that.” 
“I'm just saying, it's an option. It'd stop the bickering at least. I can sense the tension from all the way over there.” 
Without a further word, she leaves you sitting on your stool, trying to remember how to breathe. 
Right, let's just play nice. 
Walking over to his station, you try to glimpse what he's tattooing. 
“I thought Van Gogh wasn't made to doodle” you quip, trying to keep it light. 
“This is different” he responds, not looking up at you.
“You know, that's a waste of a needle.” 
Eddie turns the machine off and rolls his eyes at you. 
“Who made you Princess of the Needles, hmmm?” 
“Mac did actually, when he asked me to check the stock,” you reply hotly, folding your arms. Stopping for a second, you take a breath. Play nice, you're supposed to be playing nice. 
“Sorry, I didn't mean to-” 
Eddie turns the machine back on and continues with his impromptu tattoo. 
“Can't you just be… professional?” You ask over the buzzing. 
“Can't you just relax for a second? No ones here. Fuck, you need to get laid.” 
Mouth dropping open in shock, you grab your bag and stomp out of the store, anger fuelling every step. 
********************
Right, be calm, put together. You've dealt with worse people. 
It's true. At the coffee shop you had on edge caffeine addicts shout in your face almost on a daily basis, but none of them got under your skin like Eddie did. Then again, none of them had spat truths like venom in your face.
Breathe. Just breathe. 
Taking the leap, you walk into the shop, coffees and a tray of donuts in hand; a small peace offering. To your surprise, he is already at his station, sorting through ink pots. 
You make quick work of handing out coffee and donuts to everyone, until you reach his side. There's plastic wrap around one of his fingers, you assume from his little tattoo session yesterday. It only serves to remind you of how tetchy you were. 
“Morning Eddie.” 
“So you came back. Tough little princess ain't ya? Remove the stick from your ass yet?” The grin he flashes you is wide but there's a bite to his words. 
He's trying to rile you up, but you ignore it, thrusting a coffee at him. 
“I'll be nice if you will.” 
Tension laces the air as he stares at your outstretched hand, but he takes the coffee. 
“I'm sorry Eddie.” 
Opening the box of donuts, you gesture for him to take one. He does, stuffing half of it into his mouth. 
“What about you?” you ask.
“Huh?” He mumbles through a mouthful of crumbs. 
“Are you sorry…?” 
“What for?” 
Setting your jaw, your hand is about two seconds from slapping the shit out of him, but you need the money. So, you huff and walk away. 
“What did I do?” He huffs, shouting it to the shop. 
“You should just say sorry, you've clearly upset her.” Chloe calls over to him, a slight smile on her face. 
“Yeah, how do you know?” 
“You upset everyone Eddie.” She laughs, and stands to greet her first client. 
It's a tense kind of day, with neither you nor Eddie backing down, only speaking to each other if absolutely necessary. By the time everyone's left it's just you and him again. 
He's finishing up with a client, telling them about aftercare as they gush about their new ink. It's difficult to deny, the guy is talented. This phoenix tattoo looks like it's popping right off of the skin, the flames so bright and detailed you could swear you saw them move. 
Once they've left, there's an awkward pause. Eddie breaks the silence first. 
“Listen, I'm sorry sweetheart. I shouldn't have been rude to you. So I'll make you a deal. I'll give you a tattoo, for free, and we ask each other questions, get to know each other. What do you say?” 
Smiling in spite of yourself, you turn to face him. “And why would I want a tattoo?” 
He visibly relaxes at your grin, and flashes one of his own. “Come on, I'm the best. I promise I'll be gentle.” 
“We close at six, so it'll have to wait.” 
Eddie looks at the clock, and bobs his head with each tick. Twenty seconds later he turns to you, eyebrows raised.
“Fine, I suppose it is a bit silly to work in a tattoo shop with no ink.” 
He punches the air with glee, forcing you to smile despite your better judgement. 
“Well then, what are you thinking, got any ideas in mind?” 
“I want a heart on my hip” he groans, putting his face in his hands, “hang on, before you judge, I want one like this.” 
Pulling a book from your bag, you turn to the page neatly bookmarked. It's an anatomical heart from a textbook you own, a line and dot drawing.
“Oh.” Eddie's eyes light up, “that's pretty metal, actually. So, you just happen to have this on you?” 
“No, I've been thinking about it for a while. It's… not what people would expect. And when I got the job here, I was working up the courage to get it. Carrying around the book was a promise to myself, I think.” 
He busies himself with getting a stencil ready, the drawing supplied speeding up the process. 
“Right, climb on up princess, show me where you want it.”
Blushing, you unzip your skirt at the back and roll it down slightly, shifting your blouse up high. The smile Eddie gives you is salacious, but he doesn't say a word. 
“Right here?” Softly his fingertips graze you, making you jump. That simple act crackles over your skin in an electricity unknown to you. 
“Y-yes,” you practically whisper it, face crimson. 
“So, questions. Can I go first?” 
“Sure” you nod, feeling vulnerable flashing this much skin. 
“OK,” he starts, pressing the stencil down, “I'll start with an easy one. How old are you?” 
“23.” 
He nods, prepping the needle, “your turn princess.” 
“How old are you?” 
“Ah, copycat,” he grins, testing the gun, the sudden noise making you jump, “I'm 30 sweetheart. I know, I look younger.” 
Act younger is more like it. 
“I'm gonna start, you still alright?” 
“Uh huh.” 
“Atta girl. It'll feel like a scratch.” 
He leans forward as his words burn your insides. Atta girl? Part of you wanted to tell him you're not a fucking horse, but another, deeper, part keens at the praise, kicking it's feet and twirling its hair like some dizzy schoolgirl.
The needle touches and you jump, but it's fine. It's easy. If anything, it's rather nice? You gasp at the feeling, your feet wiggling. 
“Right, next question. Why here, why this job?” 
The gun is moving across your skin, consuming all rational thought. You could lie, but a part of you feels like he'd know somehow. 
“I thought it was a printers shop, or a copy place.” 
He laughs briefly, but continues to focus on your new ink. 
“I knew it. Pretty, innocent thing like you, wandering into this den of depravity? Too good to be true.” 
Glazing over his comment, you think of a question to ask. 
“How did you start working here?” 
Eddie scoffs and turns off his machine for a moment, “you need to get creative, stop using my questions.” 
“I really want to know!” You say, meeting his derisory look. 
“Fine, quid pro quo and all that shit. Been here seven years. I begged. I begged Mac for an apprenticeship everyday for a week. He gave in, and here I am. Ask something else, that was boring.” 
You wrack your brains, trying to think of something original, far too aware of the steadying hand that he's pushing onto your abdomen. 
“What band is that?” 
It's the only thing that pops into your mind. He follows your eye line to his t-shirt. 
“Oh this? This is my band, Corroded Coffin. You should come see us sometime.” 
“Oh, what do you play?” 
His face lights up, “I sing, and play guitar. That's why my fingers are so rough-” he holds one up, covered in black latex, “-oh yeah, gloves.” 
After you both share a chuckle, there's a breath of quiet between you, except for the sound of the tattoo gun.
“My turn,” he says, smiling at your hip, “I gotta know, are you a virgin?” 
It's a miracle that he's as responsive as he is, since the question knocks you sideways. You sit up in shock, but he's already moved the needle off and away. 
“You can't just ask that, it's… it's rude!” you splutter, face glowing red. 
There's no trace of apology on his face. In fact, his grin only widens with your reply. 
“I thought so. Don't worry, I'm not gonna tease you about it.” 
Laying back down, you try to think of something to say, but it just doesn't arrive. He can read you like an open book and it's deeply unsettling, not to mention embarrassing. 
“Your turn princess.” 
“I don't want to play anymore.” 
“Oh come on, I'm being nice! Ask me something.” 
“Fine. What was your last wet dream about?” 
To your dismay, he smiles yet again.
“You, sweetheart.” 
Huffing, you cross your arms in annoyance. “Fine, don't answer.” 
He's focusing on your tattoo, tongue poking out in concentration, “I'm nearly done, then you can go back to hating me.” 
“I don't hate you. I've never hated anyone,” you respond in truth. Eddie's eyebrows raise, but he remains focused. 
“Really? You must have had a much better childhood than mine.”
It's quiet for a bit. You're not sure how to respond to that, feeling the cloud of his memory hanging thickly in the air between you. 
“All done.” 
“Huh?” 
He chuckles and points at your new ink, “take a look.” 
It's beautiful. All line and dot work, like it was pulled from the book itself and glued to your hip. 
“It's amazing Eddie. Thank you.” 
The grin he shoots you is warm as he wraps your new ink and then removes his gloves. “No problem. I'll lock up, the sheets on aftercare are right there. But you knew that.” 
Smiling affectionately, you take one and stand up, hovering for a second. 
“Eddie what do I owe-” 
“-not a damn thing. See you in the morning, princess.”
********************
The next few days were much more pleasant. Eddie was flirty, yes, but he seemed to understand when to stop. You had been nicer to him, biting back on the comments when you could. There was a rhythm to it, a constant dance of him flustering you and you annoying him. 
Things really felt like they were falling into place. Until Eddie decided to cross the line. 
Walk in Wednesday again, and the shop was dead. Julio was on shift, sitting in the back having a nap. 
“Hey Mac, can I ask you something?” 
“Sure, what is it Miss?” 
“Well, how do people know about our Wednesdays?” 
“Mostly word of mouth. We handed out flyers before, but it didn't really pick up. Honestly, I'm thinking of scrapping it.” He shrugs, taking a sip of coffee. 
“Before you do, I have an idea. I can design some flyers, get them out to the coffee shop I used to work at. It's by campus, I'm sure a few students would jump at the chance. You could offer a student discount, get them in the door?” You stare at him wide eyed, hoping he likes the idea. The little speech was one you'd practised about fourteen times before actually saying it to him. 
He stares at you for a moment, then smiles. “You know, that's a good idea. I like it. Tell you what, you make it a success and I'll give you a raise.” 
“Oh, thank you! I'll get on it.” You beam, and start planning the flyer. 
Ten minutes later you have your head down, your attention entirely on the paper in front of you. The noisy shop was purely a background soundtrack, including the approaching footsteps. Then, there's a whisper, directly in your ear. 
“What you up to, princess?” 
“Fuck!” 
You scream it out and jump so high you fall off your stool. Eddie's in bits, laughing so hard he's clutching his stomach. 
“I'm sorry I didn't mean to,” he says, looking the least sorry you've ever seen a person look. 
Clambering off the floor to berate him, your mouth flops open when you hear a rip. As you desperately turn your head to look down, you see where your pencil skirt has torn right next to the seam nearly up to your ass. 
“Fuck's sake Eddie! What the hell am I gonna do!” 
Hands shaking, you clench your jaw in panic, trying to frantically come up with a way to rectify it. Eddie holds his hands up to you as if he were approaching a wild animal. 
“Just calm down princess, it's only a skirt.” 
Pouting, you hit him on the arm. 
“It's not just a skirt! I can't work like this, how can I go home and change, I won't be able to fix it and-” 
Eddie smiles and holds one of your hands. 
“It's gonna be OK, we can sort something out. You seriously need to chill, have a big O or something.” He chuckles, clearly meaning for it to be a joke, but it's hitting too close to home. 
It's never happened for you. You've kissed guys, sure, but whenever they reach into your pants, it's either uncomfortable or downright painful. Even your own desperate fumblings haven't got you there. Most of the time you just feel stupid and awkward trying to touch yourself. So, you'd given up, thinking you're broken. That it'll never happen for you. 
Tears well immediately in your eyes. He knows he fucked up, it's written all over his face. As he opens his mouth to speak you rip your hand from his grasp and run to the restroom sobbing. 
It's stupid, it's so stupid. You know that, but the tears won't stop falling, face hot and scrunched as you sit on the closed toilet seat with your head in your hands. Your breath is heavy, gulping and wet; you dimly wonder if you can just stay here until the shop closes.
There's a gentle knock on the door. 
“Sweetheart, can I come in?” It's Eddie, voice softer than you've ever heard it. 
“Go away” you manage. It's shaky and pathetic sounding, but it's out there. 
“I'm not going anywhere. Talk to me, you'll feel better, I promise.” 
He tries the door, turning the handle before you get a chance to lock it. Jumping upright, you go to push him away but he grabs your wrist and pulls you into him. His embrace takes away that edge and pretty soon you're just sobbing into his chest. 
As he strokes the back of your head, he makes shushing noises, his other arm wrapped tight around your shoulders. You're not sure how long you stay like that, in the warmth of his hold, his body pressed against yours. The tenderness calms you down until your tears stop, but he doesn't pull away. 
After a while, he whispers, “feel a little better?” 
“Y-yeah,” you say, voice returning to itself. 
Only then does he release you, rubbing a thumb under your eye to wipe moisture away. 
“I didn't mean to hurt you. You wanna go somewhere and talk about it?” 
“I- I've never- I don't talk about- I-” you shake your head as if to clear it. A part of you wants to hit him, to shout at him, but his gaze is so concerned that you agree. Your shoulders slump, losing a bit of tension. “OK.” 
Smiling at you, he whips his flannel shirt off, leaving him in a white vest, and ties it around your waist. 
“For your modesty. Come with me.” 
Puzzled, you follow him out of the bathroom and back into the shop where Mac is sitting looking worried. 
“What's going-” 
Eddie interrupts, “emergency late lunch needed, alright? Can you cancel my 3 o clock?” 
Mac seems confused, but looks at Eddie's earnest face, and your emotional one, and nods. 
“Not a problem.” 
“Thanks, man.” 
Before you can ask where you're going, he pulls you from the shop by the arm and across the street into a dimly lit bar, depositing you in the nearest booth. 
“I'll be right back.” 
If he's uncomfortable by his appearance, he doesn't show it. The way he strides up to the bar, it's as if he owns the place. It's remarkable, the sheer confidence he embodies like a second skin. 
“Hey, John!” He hollers, knuckles knocking on the wood of the bar. 
John appears, a gruff, stocky guy with a buzz cut and a sour face. 
“What the fuck are you doing here.” 
“Oh come on, you know you missed me.” 
John's face screws into something akin to a smile. “What do you want, you little shit.” 
“I love it when you talk dirty,” Eddie grins and winks, “two beers please.” 
A grunt and a nod, and John puts the beers down on the bar. As Eddie reaches for his wallet John waves a hand in dismissal. 
“Put that away boy, your money ain't good here. Besides, your lady friend looks like she needs it.” 
You flush and tear your eyes away, embarrassed. Eddie walks back over and puts a beer in front of you. 
“Eddie, we're still working I-” 
“It's one beer. It's alright.” 
You shrug and take a sip, nodding at the bartender, “he knows I'm upset, do I look a mess?” 
Shaking his head so hard it releases some of his wayward waves from their confines, he tips his beer at you, before he takes a long chug. 
“No,” he says enthusiastically, “you look just as pretty as you always do.” 
Scoffing, you turn your eyes downward. Eddie ignores your response, instead pressing on what happened earlier. 
“Sorry again,” he says, sounding genuinely distressed, "I don't want to see anyone hurt from something I said, least of all you.” 
Meeting his gaze, you smile incredulously. “Oh? And why me?” 
“Come on, don't make me say it.” 
Staring at him, you fold your arms in an act of defiance. He rolls his eyes and looks at you. 
“I like you. You're uptight, and mean to me, and a little conceited, but I like you. I don't want you to hurt. Can we just be friends? I'm a pretty good listener, you know? I can help.” 
Heat floods your insides. Eyes scanning him for any sign of a joke, you come up empty. 
‘I'm not conceited,” you counter weakly, clinging on to the familiar push and pull. 
“And I'm the Easter bunny.” 
Giggling, you take another sip of beer. 
“Come on, friends? Talk to me.” 
Sighing deeply, you fix your gaze at the table, forefinger tracing patterns in the condensation from your drink. “Promise not to laugh?” 
“I promise.” 
You can't tell how genuine he's being, as you don't dare look at his face, nerves controlling your every limb. His voice seems honest enough. 
“I- I have a problem, something I can't physically do. You reminded me of it. It's not your fault.” Shrugging in an attempt to make this look less serious than it is for you, you take a pull out of your beer bottle once more.
“Wait, are you saying…” he chuckles a little in disbelief, “have you never… had an orgasm before?” 
“Eddie, be quiet!” You urgently whisper, looking around the bar. 
“No one's listening sweetheart, no spies in here,” he says in a low tone, hand reaching out to grasp yours. Your first instinct is to shake his hand away but he holds firm, rough fingertips rubbing against your knuckles. 
“Eddie, I'm broken,” you whimper, voice breaking, “I can't do it.” 
“Oh sweetheart,” he responds, chock full of emotion, “you're not broken. You are perfect.” 
Pulling your hand away, you keep your eyes away from his, unwilling to meet that burning gaze of his. Unwilling to lose yourself in those sultry dark eyes. 
“I can't do it. Anytime some guy tries, it hurts. I've given up to be honest. I just wasn't made for it.” 
He laughs again, dragging his hand over his face. 
“Fuck, sweetheart, the problem ain't you. Have you- have you tried, fixing it, on your own?” The last part is a whisper, you assume to protect your feelings. 
“Yeah, but I just feel stupid and awkward. I don't know.” 
There's a little silence between you as you both dwell in the suffocating fog of your confession, neither of you willing to clear it. 
“Listen, this may be way out of your comfort zone, but I'm saying it anyway. If you don't like it, we'll forget it, and I won't mention it again.” 
Finally looking at him, at the vulnerability on his face, you nod, not trusting your voice. 
“I can… maybe I can help you. Show you you're not broken? As a favour between friends.” 
You laugh mirthlessly and finish your beer. “That's a little more than a favour, Eddie.” 
“We can keep it professional.” 
You stare at him wide eyed. His messy hair and dark glittering eyes. At the way he slumps in his seat like a king or a delinquent, you can't decide which. At his taunt frame, the tattoos spackling every available inch of his skin. Your eyebrows raise of their own accord. 
“Professional? You?” 
“Yeah, me! I can do it, you know. I could make you come.” 
A shiver forces its merry way down your spine at his words. 
“You're really confident.” 
“You haven't seen what I can do.” 
Blushing hard, you attempt to control yourself. “Look, if we're going to do this, I need you to promise some things.” 
“Ah, of course, you would have rules,” he grins, as he leans back and spreads in his seat, “continue.” 
Searching your mind for a moment, you try to glean what you need. 
“First of all, we need to be discreet, and professional at all times, clear?” 
“As crystal,” he grins wolfishly, “anything else?” 
“Yeah- I think,” you wrack your brains, trying to come up with something that would make this less intimate. Anything. But the roguish nature of his presence makes it hard to even think of a thing. Finally, your eyes widen at the idea that suddenly crosses your mind. 
“Final rule. No kissing.” 
He pouts, looking at your chest and back up, “no kissing anywhere?” 
“N-no, no kissing on the mouth.” 
Grin returning, he winks at you, a gesture that flips your stomach inside out. 
“Kinky. Alright, deal,” he leans forward to give his hand to yours. A hand covered in ink and calluses. Roughness and tenderness. 
You shake it.
********************
For the next couple of days, your little arrangement isn't brought up. A wild thought hammers itself into your mind; either he wasn't serious, or you imagined it. 
Those theories are put to bed on day three. 
After you let Mac know about the flyers and the bonus poster you designed, you sit back and enjoy the praise given to you. It's funny, the feeling of being told a job has been well done makes you happier than you care to admit.
Eddie turns up at the counter, whistling through his teeth. “Sweet looking flyers, how'd you swing those?” 
“I designed them. I've got a degree in design and marketing, if you didn't know,” you sniff, rearranging the stationary on the counter to avoid his eyes. 
“Maybe you could help me design some for my band. These look pretty metal.” He says, picking one up and looking at it closely. 
“Maybe.” 
Eddie leans in close, so close you feel the warmth of his breath on your cheek. 
“If you're still up for our arrangement, I'm free tonight.” 
Heat immediately flushes your face. Ignoring him entirely, you write your address and a time on a notepad, and thrust the paper into his hands. 
“Covert, I like it. See you then princess.” 
By the time 9pm rolls around you're a jittery mass of nerves, having changed clothes no less than four times, tidied your apartment, changed the bedsheets and paced so much you're surprised there's not a groove in the floorboards. 
In the end you'd decided on a baggy band t-shirt and your sleep shorts. It was a rational calculation to make Eddie think you're just wearing what you usually would at home and therefore show you're not nervous. I mean, you are wearing what you'd usually wear at home. He didn't need to know about how long it took you to reach that decision. 
The sound of the intercom buzzing sends your pulse into overdrive. Pressing the button, you let out a strangled “Hello?” 
“Hey princess.” 
“Come on up.” 
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…
A soft knock at the door and you count to five, trying to remember how to breathe. When you open the door, you're stunned. He's leaning on the doorframe in a fucking button up shirt. It's black, and clings to him deliciously. His hair looks a little damp, loose around his shoulders, and his aftershave is making you feel dizzy. 
“Oh, you didn't need- I mean-” you point at his shirt, and he looks down and chuckles. 
“Just came from band practice. Took a shower, and this was clean,” he shrugs and shoulders into your apartment. “Nice place. Where's all your stuff?” 
You look around at your sparse apartment. Everything in order, down to the fresh flowers on your tiny dining table. 
“This is all my stuff,” you say, confused, “I don't like clutter.” 
He chuckles, walking over to you. “No wonder I annoy you. I am clutter.” 
He's close now, close enough so that you have to look up to see his face. His rough fingers ghost your arm, sending a wave of goosebumps over your skin. 
“Nice seeing you in something casual. L7, right?” He asks, pointing at the t-shirt. 
“Yeah, you know who they are?” 
“I'm surprised you do. Thought you'd be a Mariah Carey kinda girl.” 
You scrunch your face in distaste. “No, not at all. You don't know everything about me.” 
He leans in, warm breath a whisper in your ear. “I know some things about you.” 
Squirming hotly, you lead him to your room before you lose your nerve. 
“So, the princess's bedchamber. It's nice,” he remarks, flopping down on the bed as if it were his own. 
“Take your boots off,” you snip, folding your arms. 
“Ah, there she is.” He smiles, but does as instructed. Once more he's laying back into your scattered pillows looking perfectly at ease. You, on the other hand, stand there, spine a vertical rod as you stare back at him. 
 “Come on then, sit down.” 
Nervously you sit at the foot of the bed with your legs crossed. 
“Now princess, what do you do when you touch yourself?” 
Blushing furiously, you stammer out, “what, do you expect me to like, show you?” 
He chuckles, diffusing some of the tension. “As much as I'd like that, I don't think you're ready for that kinda shit. Just tell me, what's your thought process?” 
Staring at him for a little too long, you open your mouth and close it again. He rolls his eyes. 
“Look, if you want me to help I'll help, but you gotta give me something here.” He looks as if he's about to get up and leave; your arm shoots out on its own accord, grabbing his leg to stop him. 
“Sorry, sorry. I just, I've never spoken about this kinda stuff. I don't know about any process, I just… reach down and fiddle around?” You blush even more. 
“So you don't like, watch anything? Or read anything?” He looks a little amused.
“What on earth are you talking about?” 
“Porn, sweetheart.” 
It's so blunt that you jump a little. “Oh no, I've never, oh no no.” 
“Christ,” he whispers, “right, you can like, set the mood. Look at something to turn you on? It'd probably help you feel less awkward.” 
“Oh. Right.” 
“And do you ever just like, slouch? I feel like I'm back at school looking at ya.” 
“Huh?” 
“Just, come here.” He pats the little space between his spread legs and you hesitate for a second before you crawl over to him. 
“How do you want me to sit, like cross legged or-” 
He grabs your hips and spins you, forcing your back into his crotch.
“Stop trying to control every little thing,” he says in a hard tone, one you're too embarrassed to admit makes your insides tingle. Softer, he continues. “Look, if you're ever gonna get there you need to relax, stop trying to control it, and stop overthinking.” 
“Great, all of the things I'm shit at.” 
His laugh is loud, it vibrates into your spine. “I'll help you, OK? You trust me?” 
“In a very limited sense of the word, yeah.” 
“Lemme rephrase. You still OK to do this?” 
“Yeah.”
“Good. Just relax.” 
You're not sure what you are expecting, but it certainly isn't his hands winding into your hair, fingertips rubbing softly at your scalp. It shoots tingles down your spine, your entire head feeling fuzzy and warm. 
You stifle a whimper, biting your lip. His fingers stop. 
“If you want to make noises, you can. Tells me I'm doing a good job. That goes for everything else too, alright?” 
“Alright.” You whisper. 
“You comfortable?” 
“Yeah it's just- well-”
“Tell me.” 
“I think it's your shirt buttons, they're digging into my back a bit,” you admit, feeling the sharp points down your spine. 
“Easily fixed.” He taps your arm and you lean forward. Some rustling, and he throws his shirt to the foot of your bed. 
“Now just chill sweetheart.” 
His fingers begin rubbing at you again, thumbs sinking low to pop at the bubbles in your neck. 
“Fuck, that's really nice.” 
He hums appreciatively, working his hands lower and dropping them to your shoulders. The massaging continues, and you feel yourself melting, your body moulding into his. Your legs, once ramrod straight, have bent a little and parted of their own accord, the muscles loosening. Even your breathing has slowed. 
“That's better, atta girl,” he says and you whine at the words, a little pathetic mewling sound that tumbles past your lips.
“Oh, you like that, don't you?” The smile is evident in his voice, a smug tone smeared liberally across each word. 
“You, you're so-” you begin, but his hand drags across the front of your shirt, just over the tops of your breasts.
“I'm so what?” He whispers in your ear.
“So, so arrogant,” you huff. He laughs, a husky chuckle, and dances the tips of his fingers over your clothed nipple. Gasping, you grasp at his thighs either side of you.
“Yeah? What else am I?” He says, nibbling at your earlobe. 
“You- you're cocky, and- and self assured- Oh God!” 
Rudely interrupted by him tweaking your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, you swear, back arching off of him for a moment. 
“You know,” he says in a gravelly tone directly in your ear, “those are pretty much the same thing.” 
“You drive me crazy,” you huff, squirming a little against him as his hands explore your chest over your shirt.
“Good crazy or bad crazy?” He smiles, then bites softly at your neck. 
“I- I haven't decided yet.” 
“Good. I can say the same about you,” he admits, his hands trailing lower, pulling your shirt up so he can stroke at your bare sides. The touch of fingertips on your skin sends a river of sensations through you that run deep into your core. 
“Are you going to- what are you doing, exactly?” You breathe, starting to move against him. 
“I'm warming you up sweetheart. Why, don't you like it?” 
Genuinely curious, you try to ask what you want to know without using the words. 
 “N- no, I do. Do you have to, erm, get warmed up? When you, you know.” 
He lets out a little huff of a laugh. “Guys are a little less… complicated, than girls. For the most part.” 
“Oh. OK, so you can just. I mean, you just, get excited?” Your breathing becomes more ragged when the tip of his thumb grazes the underside of your breast. 
“Sweetheart, I got hard seeing you in these little shorts.” Running a finger down your stomach, he lightly pings the elastic of your sleep shorts as if to accentuate his point. 
“Really?” 
There's no denying it when he moves his hips up and you feel his solid bulge press into the small of your back. 
“Really. Can I take this off?” He asks, twisting the hem of your shirt in one hand. 
“Yeah.” It's a whisper. You're a little scared of being bare chested, but not having to see his face helps. Plus, he's wound you up so much you're on the verge of begging for his touches, pleading for more. 
He guides your top up, up, up, revealing you slowly. Coaxing it over your head, you move your arms up so he can remove it. It ends up in a heap on top of his shirt. One tattooed arm wraps around your waist, pulling you toward him more, his hardness pushing against your ass. 
His breathing is unsteady as he grinds his hips, pushing onto you further. Gasping, your fingers are vices, firmly attached to his thighs in a vain attempt to anchor you. 
Suddenly his hand is winding into your hair, tugging your head aside so he can run a fat tongue across your neck. You shudder at the sensation, feeling the hard ball of his tongue piercing against your throat When he takes his pillowy lips and sucks at the spot between your neck and shoulder a moan slips out. Grunting in approval, his hands are on your bare tits, fingers pinching at your hardened nipples. 
“Holy hell!” 
He laughs, running rough fingers down your body, circling your new ink, then dipping down past your waistband. Those tattooed fingers barely brush your pubic hair, teasing you, then glide back up to your stomach. 
“Eddie, please.” 
Your voice is small, not your own. Eddie groans low in your ear, rubbing his length into the fat of your ass.
“Fuck, princess, I like you saying my name like that. You want me to touch you right here?” he says, pressing down hard over your clothed clit. 
The sheer relief of having his touch where you need it gets you close to tears; a gulping shudder of a sob rips from deep in your chest. 
“See, you're not broken, sweetheart. Can I take these off?” 
Shaking, you hook your fingers into your sleep shorts and pull them down your legs, air hitting your most intimate area. Eddie huffs in your ear, his inked hands rubbing up the insides of your thighs. 
“You're so fuckin’ sexy.”
Before you can retort, his fingers dip down to your entrance, gathering your slick. You can hear how wet you are, but it's not in you to think about it. You can't think, only feel. 
When his fingers run up and start rubbing circles into your clit, your response is visceral. Bucking up, you chase the feeling, searching for even more. 
“I'm gonna slip a finger in, alright princess?” 
You nod, waiting for the pain, wincing before it even starts.
“It's OK, you're fine, you gotta relax baby.” He strokes your stomach with his free hand, pressing kisses to your temple. 
The tip of his finger breaches you, and the pain doesn't come. Your soaking wet cunt invites him in, warm and pulsing with arousal. He slips it into the hilt, his palm pressing into your clit, and your moan is long and loud. It's never felt like this. Never has it stoked a fire in your gut, bubbled your insides like pop rocks and Coke, turned you into a writhing mess. 
He fucks his finger into you, slipping a second in to join the first, and you move your hips, chasing the building tightness in your belly. Each thrust of his hand has you bucking, and in turn rubbing against his member trapped within its denim prison. 
“That's it, good fuckin’ girl.” His voice is strained, as if he's trying hard not to lose control. 
“Eddie, oh fuck, f-feels so- good, yes, please, please-” 
You're not sure what you're begging for, and Eddie doesn't seem to be in any state to ask, but it doesn't matter. His fingers fuck into you in earnest, stroking hard against some spot inside that has you babbling and quivering around him. 
“God, you're so tight, this little cunts gonna drive me crazy. So wet and perfect, Jesus Christ.”
The feeling seems too much and not enough, and it grows higher and higher, flooding your body with a pleasure so intense you're sure you black out. The only thing you're aware of is your voice screaming out his name as your body thrusts wildly into his grip. Finally, it dissipates, your body melting against his form, sweating and spent. 
You take a breath, and another, trying to gather your wits enough to speak. Eddie speaks first.
“So sweetheart, everything you dreamed it would be?” He asks as he strokes your hair. 
“Better. Fuck, Eddie. Thank you.” 
“Anytime. Seriously. Any. Time. Day, night, weekends, holidays-” 
You giggle, slapping his thigh, and sit up, grabbing your discarded shirt to cover up. 
“Sorry, that was probably a little er, frustrating for you.” You say as you glance at his bare torso, drinking in the sight with your eyes for the first time. He's lean, but ripped, a faint sheen of sweating making his tattoos glisten in the low light. 
“What do you mean sweetheart?” 
“Well, doing that, not getting anything in return...” 
He chuckles lightly, “Oh I wouldn't say that,” he glances down, gesturing to his jeans, “full disclosure, I came in my pants.” 
“Really?” your eyes widen, staring at him with disbelief. 
“I ain't lying. Wanna check?” He waggles his eyebrows at you, making you laugh again. 
“You seem better already. Right, I better go.” 
Shoulders deflating, you pout, “I suppose you better.” 
“Hey don't look at me like that. I hoped that helped. Sleep tight, drink some water. I'll see you tomorrow princess.” 
And just like that, he leaves. Of course he leaves, it was just a deal you struck, nothing more. A favour. you wipe stray tears from your eyes and try not to focus on the sound of the front door shutting. 
As you collapse on the bed, exhausted, you think about his hands, his words. There's something screaming inside, telling you you're playing with fire, but as you drift off you can't find it in you to mind.
Taglist
@liminalpebble @eddies-puppet @rip-quizilla @micheledawn1975 @vanilla-demon @millercontracting @roanniom @josephquinnsfreckles @leelei1980 @mrsjellymunson @usedtobecooler @eddiesprincess86 @ali-r3n @choke-me-eddie @littlebebebunny @big-ope-vibes
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jeonginsleftcheek · 1 month ago
Text
Dolly
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: hyunjin x afab!reader
synopsis: you feel lonely and buy a new sex doll on the market, not knowing what you got yourself into.
genre: smut, fluff, sci-fi
word count: 10.3k
warnings: alcohol, multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, oral (f and m), squirting, creampies
a/n: spooktober continues🤭🫶🏻 if u love black mirror, these are vibes for u! also i'm sorry if the ending seems rushed but i have two more things to write for hyunjin before i continue with my spooktober🫠
!!! this fic has an ambiguous ending
~ divider by @bunnysrph
~ Masterlist
Your cursor hovers over the 'continue to payment' button.
Are you really doing this?
It's embarassing enough that you can't get a date lately, and everyone around you keeps bugging you about it, asking when you're going to find a partner already.
Like you need one. You were perfectly fine alone.
But everyone has needs, and the ad for the new sex dolls that have just come out on the market looked enticing.
Each one of the new models was a unique one, only one of them made as it was sort of a trial run for them and your attention was captured by Hyunjin, the romantic doll.
It was expensive too, but you had money saved up on the side and thought, why not get something for your pleasure and try something new as well.
'Fuck it!', you thought and clicked on the button, purchasing the doll; there was no going back now.
Eagerly, you awaited the day it would be delivered to your door and three weeks later, there was a big box in the middle of your living room.
Biting on your lip, you stare at the box as your heartbeat quickens.
In the pictures, it looked so real. Like it was a real human being and to say you were a bit disturbed was an understatement.
But as freaky as it was, you were still so curios about it so you opened up the box slowly, your eyes wide for the peculiarity of it all. There were covers neatly placed over the doll, and bubble wrap just about everywhere, but on top of it all was a letter.
You opened it up and it read;
Hello,
my name is Hyunjin and I am your romantic doll.
I love art, good food and wine, long walks on the beach and heartwarming movies.
Please, treat me with great care as I am sensitive, and no matter what you do with me, always end it with cuddles.
Hope you come to love me as much as I already love you.
As you read that, you couldn't help being a little freaked out by the doll professing his love to you, but you had to remind yourself it's just the creators of it who wrote the letter, making the concept more real and human to give some kind of comfort to the buyer and personality to the doll.
Taking a deep breath, you remove all the bubble wrap and slide off the cover.
"Oh." you gasp loudly, your hand slapped on your mouth as you finally see the doll.
He looks too real to be just a doll and for a second you just stare into his eyes, unmoving but somehow warm, his facial features chiseled to perfection, his lips plump and inviting.
Your eyes travel down to see he was dressed in a nice button up, intricate flower patterns sewn into the material, coupled with nice pants and even some very expensive looking shoes.
The doll had jewelry on, his nails were painted, there was so much detail on it; he even had a mole under his eye. You marvelled at the dedication of the people who made it and obviously put a lot of though into Hyunjin.
You notice then that there is a note sticking out of the shirt's pocket and you carefully pick it up.
My love!
I got dressed for our first date!
Hopefully you like it and enjoy our first romantic night together.
"Wow, they really went all out with this." you say out loud as you look at the doll, the next question forming in your mind.
How heavy is the doll?
You spend a few more minutes just examining it with your eyes, too nervous to touch it and you can't get over the way it looks just like a real human being.
You rest your hand on the box, your fingertips gently grazing the doll's cheek.
"Oh!" you gasp, retracting your hand. It feels like real skin and with wide eyes your hand moves closer to his face again, your palm pressing slowly against his cheek.
"Are you alive?" you chuckle to yourself but the doll doesn't answer or move at all, just as you expected.
Your fingers slowly explore the doll's face, his lips are plushy and they seem actually kissable, the material they used, whatever it was, made it seem like they were real human lips.
You lean in closer to take a better look into his eyes, your hand coming up to play with locks of dark hair, which again, seems like real hair, the little curls are soft to the touch and bounce back as you pull on them gently.
Now you're leaning so close to him, and you can smell the nice, comforting scent radiating off of the doll. You've no idea what they used, but he smells fresh and flowery.
"Okay, let's get you out of the box." you lean back and hook your hands under the doll's arms before making it sit up.
His head falls to the side a little, making you feel a bit creeped out because it really seemed like you were handling a dead person instead of an actual doll, but the only indication that it wasn't a dead human is the lightness of it.
He wasn't as light as a feather but he wasn't as heavy as dead weight either.
"Maybe the couch?" you talk to yourself as you look over to your comfy couch, the pillows fluffed up already and a soft blanket thrown over it.
Somehow, thankfully to your regular exercise, you manage to lift the doll into your arms and carry him to the couch.
The way he slumps when you put him down, again freaks you out a little, but for some weird reason you're even more interested in how you can actually use the doll.
You prop him to sit nicely and turn on the tv to some art channel, remembering how the doll 'said' that he likes art.
"I hope that's what you enjoy." you shrug and throw the fluffy blanket over the doll's legs, folding his soft hands into his lap, before you go back to the box to find the manual.
"Here it is." you dig out the booklet and start reading.
They listed the materials but you still had no idea what they were so it flew over your head. There was also a page with pictures of the other dolls and the makers' letter to the customers, thanking them for purchasing the doll.
Flipping the pages, you find what you were looking for.
Your face becomes red as you read the doll's 'abilites', including that his thing can vibrate and cum, he reacts to your touch and that he has a usb charger that gets plugged into the back of his neck.
"W-wow." you nod to yourself as you keep reading until you flip to the last page.
WARNING!
If there are any malfunctions with any part of the doll, please contact our services.
The doll can bathe in water except the charger opening so be aware of that.
Please do not disfigure or mutilate the doll.
Do not throw the doll into the trash.
Do not break, bruise or cut the doll.
If you're not satisfied, you can always return it to us and get your money back.
If you've purchased our Hyunjin doll, do not be too harsh on him considering he's sensitive.
Hope you enjoy the romantic soul you chose!
Bruise? The doll can bruise?
Why are they talking about it like it's alive?
You gulp and turn to look at the couch but the doll is unmoving, turned towards the tv, same position as before.
You peek back into the big box to find another, smaller box inside it, that was beneath the doll's feet earlier.
You carefully take it out, putting it on the floor and opening it curiously.
Inside, you found a change of clothes, more casual looking ones and something to be used as sleep wear. It was like getting a Barbie doll with all her outfits when you were a kid.
So bizzare, yet it made you feel excited in a way.
After getting up, you decide to clean up the mess you made with the bubble wrap and put the box away in your closet, just in case, if you ever wanted to return him.
"Okay." you nod and come back to peek at the doll.
The television screen reflects in his eyes, his hands crossed in his lap, just how you left him and relief washes over you.
Why are you even scared?
You shake your head and decide to prepare lunch.
You're in your kitchen, listening to some slow music as you cook, completely forgetting about the doll sitting in your living room.
That is, until the volume of the tv suddenly increases making you jolt and gasp.
Your back straightens as you turn off the stove.
Slowly turning around, you stare at the direction the sound is coming from.
You swallow and make your way to your couch, you don't know what to expect but the doll is still in the same position you left it, the tv remote is out of his reach, down on the coffee table.
You grab it and decrease the volume before looking back at the doll.
"If that wasn't you, we have ghosts in this apartment. But if it was you, you're obviously wanting my attention." you cross your arms as you stare at him.
Nothing.
"Fine, I will eat lunch with you." you declare before going back to the kitchen to get yourself food.
You mostly eat in front of your tv anyways, not caring about any rules since you live alone, enjoying the freedom it brings you.
Settling down next to Hyunjin, you pull the blanket over your legs too and start eating.
You chuckle to yourself, if someone saw you right now, they'd think you're absolutely insane, sitting down next to an inanimate doll that looks eerily human.
You take a peek at Hyunjin, sighing as he sits still.
"You do look alive. But I'm literally talking to myself." you say and of course get no answer.
Shrugging, you continue about your day, washing dishes and doing laundry, enjoying your selfcare routine after getting your apartment in order, your Hyunjin doll observing your movements from the couch.
In the evening hours, you finally come back to him.
"Are you tired of being in the same position?" you ask, knowing there will be no answer.
"We can have dinner now." you add and leave to the kitchen to bring out some food and a bottle of wine.
"This is insane. Top 5 weirdest things I've done." you talk to yourself as you look down at your black satin nightgown, with lace details on the top, perfectly resting on your chest. "Maybe it even takes up the first place."
You settle next to Hyunjin once again, changing his position a little as you fill up two glasses of wine.
"Our first date, I guess?" you sigh with a chuckle before drinking the wine.
His glass stands full on the coffee table, untouched as you start eating next to him once again.
"I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. I work in an office. I hate my job but it pays the bills." you say, "I always wanted to be in a band though. Played guitar in high school. Never got too far with that. I love art too, you know, any shape or form of it. Maybe that's why I chose you. You seem like an artist. Or you would be if you were real, ha." you chuckle, yapping away as you keep drinking the wine, the doll listening to you without moving.
You keep pouring the wine into both his and your glass but it's only you drinking from both glasses.
It gives you a nice buzz, warmness that spreads through your body and manifests itself between your legs.
Usually, you'd play with your vibrator or dildo but seeing as you got a literal sex doll, you thought you should use him for the purpose he's made for.
"Now, what do I do with you?" you smirk, your hand coming up to play with the doll's hair, twirling the lock in your fingers.
"I mean, I can do anything I want." you nod, scooting closer to the doll.
"I feel fucking crazy." you laugh, pulling the covers off of Hyunjin.
Your hand is pressed on his thigh as you touch him gently through his clothes, your mind still marvelling at the fact that he feels like a real human being.
"I'm curious." you whisper, your fingertip playing with the button of his shirt, wanting to see what he looks like underneath the nice clothes they made him wear.
Slowly, you start unbuttoning the doll, taking your time with it, as anticipation builds up, creating a swirl of excitement inside you.
When you pop open the last button, you open up the shirt and gasp.
"Wow." you lick your lips at the sight, the doll's nipples look aroused, his stomach is toned, it looks like there's a vein leading down into his pants making your eyes fall down at his crotch.
You still have no idea how they made him look so real but you're eager to explore, planting your hands on his chest, running them up and down to his stomach, tracing the vein with your fingertips.
You run your hands back up to his nipples and flick them gently with your thumb before pinching them experimentally.
Gasping, you notice a growing bulge in the doll's pants.
"Am I pushing the right buttons?" you chuckle at your own joke as you continue playing with his nipples.
Your impatience however doesn't let you stall for too long, so your hands make their way down to the hem of his pants.
"Let's see." with a smirk you unbutton and unzip his pants, pulling them down with a little struggle as you have to lift him up a little.
You place your hands on his thighs, squeezing the flesh a little, watching as his cock twitches like he was really alive.
"You really do react to touch." you gasp in wonder, what kind of technology was this?
They even put underwear on him which you think is a nice touch but at this point, you were too curious not to slide them off immediately.
"Woah!" you gasp as his cock springs free of its confines.
You think it's the biggest and most beautiful cock you've ever seen, framed by a neatly cut bush, a visible vein running up the whole length.
You stare at it for a little while before you wrap your hand around it, your other hand fondling his balls.
It feels real once again, like he's throbbing and twitching, hot and heavy on your palm, a bead of precum at the tip.
"What in the hell?" you mumble, your finger swiping at the tip as you gather the liquid and bring it to your lips.
You suck your finger into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and tasting the sweetness of the doll.
How he tasted so sweet was beyond you.
"Fuck it." you chuckle, pulling off your nightgown and tossing it aside, which leaves you completely naked like the doll is.
"I didn't even kiss you. Not very romantic of me." you smirk as you throw your leg over Hyunjin, sitting in his lap, your wet folds pressed against his cock.
You lean in and press a kiss to his lips, and of course the doll doesn't kiss back but his lips move with your movement and it feels good as you grind on his hard length.
"Look at you. Letting me do all the work like all the rest of them." you scoff with a smirk and at that, the doll's cock twitches a little too hard against you, almost pushing inside you.
"Wow. Someone's excited." you stare at the doll's eyes but there is nothing in there to indicate that he was in fact listening to you.
"For how much you cost, I hope this is worth it." you shrug and grip the base of his cock, guiding it inside you.
Sitting down on his length has you gasping as he fills you up perfectly, like his cock was made exactly for your pussy to take.
Your grip the doll's shoulders and use it for what you intended to when you clicked on that purchase button.
No matter how turned on you are though, staring at Hyunjin's almost expressionless face proves to be a turn off so you lean forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you press your chest to his and continue bouncing on him.
Save for the fact that his hands lay limp on the side, his skin feels human and he feels kind of warm, like there was something inside the doll, warming it up.
"F-fuck." you whimper as the head of his cock brushes against the spongy spot inside you, it's like the more wet you get and the harder you fuck on him, his cock responds to you.
"R-right hand for activation." you repeat the instruction from the manual, as you blindly search for his right hand, sliding your fingertips on his wrist to his palm, your head leaned on his shoulder as you slowly gyrate your hips.
Your fingers interlace with his and it feels almost like Hyunjin grips your hand back, making you jump a little but before you can move away, his cock starts vibrating inside you.
"A-ah!" you moan loudly as your other arm curls around him, holding onto him while you fiddle with his fingers, your legs clamping around him as you start falling apart.
"G-gonna cum!" you whimper, burying your face in Hyunjin's neck and he smells so nice, feels so good as his cock keeps vibrating against your spot, bringing you to your high quickly.
The ecstasy you feel as the vibrations persist, prolonging your orgasm, overstimulating you while you ride the feeling makes you miss the single blink that Hyunjin's eyes make before returning to their original glassy and unmoving state.
"Too much." you whimper, squeezing his thumb and the vibrations stop.
You know that the left hand brings a happy end to the doll but you're not sure if you're done with it yet.
Leaning back to finally look at his face has you a little disappointed as you don't notice any kind of change on his face.
"Kinda wish you were real." you whisper, hugging the doll as you start bouncing on his hard cock again, bringing yourself easily to another orgasm.
You squeeze the doll's left hand after that, and feel spurts of warm cum shooting inside you as his cock twitches, the head bruising against your spot violently as he fills you up with copious amounts of the sticky substance.
You're pretty sure the neighbors can hear you moan as you cum again, the feeling of being filled up to the brim satisfies you and has your eyes rolling in the back of your head.
"Wow." you breathe hard, your cheek leaned on Hyunjin's shoulder as you grip his wrists while you come down.
You lean back to look at the doll again.
Were his lips slightly upturned before?
In the fogginess of your orgasms, you couldn't tell or think straight.
"Be right back." you slide off of him and make your way to the bathroom, taking a quick five minute shower before you grab a wet cloth to clean the doll up.
He sits how you left him, and you kneel between his legs to clean him up carefully.
His cock is not completely soft nor hard anymore, it's somewhere in the middle, but as you touch it gently, it seems to react and twitch again.
"You came already." you smirk and experimentally pinch the tip of Hyunjin's cock, but nothing happens except the member twitching again.
You stand up with a sigh, covering him with the blanket again before you leave for the bathroom to get ready for bed.
Just as you turn on the water to wash your mouth out, you hear something akin to a sigh coming from your living room.
You freeze, turning off the water and listening closely but you only hear the quiet buzz of the lamp above your mirror.
Maybe you were just imagining things.
You shake your head and finish your business before going back to Hyunjin.
"I'm too tired to dress you now, but boxers should be enough." you say and struggle to get him dressed, almost giving up during the process.
"I should just keep you naked in my bed to avoid the hassle." you say, lifting him up and carrying him to your bed.
"Cuddles, right? I do love me some cuddles too." you say with a tired smile as you adjust Hyunjin in your bed.
You join him under the covers and lean on your elbow as you lay sideways, staring down at him.
"How'd they make you look and feel so real?" your hand is on his cheek, and you trace his eyebrows, his nose and lips.
Fingertips travel to his ears, down to his neck and his chest.
"Don't come alive and scare me while I'm sleeping, Hyunjin." a shadow passes in his eyes as you say his name but you're too busy caressing his toned stomach to notice.
"Night." you kiss his lips before turning off the lamp and laying your head on his shoulder.
Somehow, you adjust his arms so that it seems like he's holding you and you throw your leg over his, your hand tracing patterns on his chest and side.
It was like hugging and kissing your pillow in high school, except this one took the shape of a human being.
With thoughts and questions about Hyunjin swimming in your head, you fall asleep quickly, not noticing how the doll's arms tighten around you ever so slightly.
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Early in the morning as your alarm starts blaring loudly and annoyingly, you groan and stir, almost forgetting about Hyunjin being next to you.
"Oh!" you gasp. "Good morning, dolly." you say after turning the alarm off, as he stares at the ceiling.
"Sadly, I gotta go to work and leave you here alone. You better behave while I'm out." you lift a finger up menacingly, but there's a playful smile on your face.
"Man, I'm crazy." you shake your head before leaning in to leave a nice, wet smooch on Hyunjin's cheek.
"I'll come say bye before I leave."
And you do so, after eating breakfast and getting ready, you're back in your room.
"Should I put you in the living room so you can watch tv?"
The doll never answers.
"Maybe, yeah. You'll be bored lying in bed all day." you nod and carry Hyunjin to your couch.
You make him comfy, cover him with the blanket, card your fingers through his messy hair and then turn on the tv, leaving the remote in his lap.
"Gonna be late because of you." you sigh and lean down to place a kiss on the doll's lips.
"Be a good doll."
And with that you finally leave your apartment.
All day at work, you can't help but wonder if your Hyunjin doll somehow came alive, and for some reason you were looking forward to seeing him even if he didn't.
"What's got you so happy? Finally got laid?" your coworker chuckles as you stand in the office kitchen making yourself some coffee, you know she always gossips about you behind your back so you don't wanna give her the time of the day.
"Mind your business, Amanda." you answer quickly, turning to leave back to your office.
"Okay, you didn't then." she calls behind you with a giggle but you decide to ignore her.
"Fucking bitch." you mutter to yourself as you close the door.
The rest of the day goes by uneventfully and you can't wait to drive back home to Hyunjin.
"I'm home!" you yell out as soon as you step inside, hearing that the tv is still on, nothing out of the ordinary.
You make your way to your living room to find Hyunjin in the exact same position as you left him almost 9 hours ago, the remote still next to his right hand, the same channel you turned on this morning on the tv.
For some reason, your shoulders slump.
"Well, I guess you've been a good doll and took my warning literally." you shrug a little.
"Still, I want to reward you. As soon as I eat and take a nap that is." you add and go about your routine, eating lunch, taking a shower and of course changing into your comfy clothes, which at this time of the year consisted of an oversized t-shirt and panties.
"Let's take a nap together, dolly." you say to Hyunjin as you lift him up and move him to your bed again.
You lay him on his side, then mirror his position, taking his arm and wrapping it around your waist, the other comfortably under your neck.
Tracing patterns on his stomach and chest again, you start talking.
"Your life is so easy. From the couch to the bed, you don't even have to work or go anywhere. Meanwhile, I have to endure fucking Amanda every day at work. Do you have any idea how bitchy that woman is?", you talk as you cuddle your doll. "She has to know eeeeverything about eeeeeveryone. Soon, she'll crawl up my ass just to look at my insides."
You look at Hyunjin's face and for a moment it seems as if his eyes moved.
"Are you listening to me, perhaps?" you whisper, your hand on his cheek. "I know I'm probably crazy. But I'm glad I got you. Even though you're a bit creepy, you bring me comfort." you add, tucking your head into his neck.
"I'm gonna sleep now."
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Slowly blinking your eyes awake, you feel warmness enveloping you that's not coming just from your blanket but from Hyunjin.
Quickly, you realize that somehow his thigh ended up pressed against your core, your leg thrown over him as you scooted closer to him in sleep.
"Oh." a little sound escapes your lips as you grind against his warm thigh, feeling wetness on your panties.
Before looking up at him, you press a kiss to his collarbone and it seems like his thigh moves against you once, making you jolt.
"Hey." you look up at him, but his eyes are unmoving as always.
You observe his face but the throbbing between your legs makes you grind against him again.
"F-feels good." you whimper, leaning in and kissing him, letting your tongue dart out and lick at the plump lips.
You feel his erection press against your other thigh, the one flush against him and you chuckle a little.
"Someone likes me a lot." you say, leaning back to look at him.
It looks like there's a small smile on his face that you swear wasn't there before.
"Hm." you squint your eyes as you stop your movements.
"Gotta try something." you declare after a moment of silence, lifting up and removing the blanket.
You push Hyunjin on his back, hooking your fingers in his boxers and pulling them off of him.
"Aw, you really do like me a lot." you smirk at the sight of the doll's cock, twitching and leaking again like it did yesterday.
"I'll give you some attention, you deserved it."
You spread his legs, adjusting them so you can kneel between his thighs and you lean down.
"I haven't done this in a while. You can't complain though." you chuckle a little as you grip his cock and let your tongue dart out, catching the sweet tasting precum with it.
You don't understand how he tastes so sweet, it's hard to put your finger on what exactly the taste is but it makes you want more so you swirl your tongue around his head, your moans muffled as you swallow the sweet liquid.
"Mm. Fuck you taste good." you whine and put your lips around him again, slowly taking more of him in as you bob your head up and down.
Sucking cock like that is not your favorite thing to do, sometimes it makes you feel uncomfortable but having Hyunjin be so still and so tasty has your arousal pooling on your panties and you keep wanting more.
You take as much as you can, coating his cock in your saliva, your tongue pressing along his vein as you fondle his balls has him twitching inside you.
You smirk and grip his left hand, spurts of hot cum hitting your throat and it tastes even sweeter than before as you whimper and swallow everything.
"Damn hot." you whine, quickly getting rid of your shirt and panties, before you take his now completely wet cock in your hand and start jerking him off to make him hard for you again.
It doesn't take long to excite the doll and you decide to turn your back to him and fuck on his cock like that so that you don't have to look into his lifeless eyes while pleasing yourself.
You sit on him and push his cock inside yourself, your warm cunt engulfing his entire length easily.
"Mm." you gyrate your hips as you close your eyes and enjoy teasing yourself, your wet pussy coating his navel and balls.
"God, you're perfect Hyunjin." you whine and start fucking on him.
In the deep throes of passion as you bounce on him, your nails digging into his thighs for support, your eyes closed in pure bliss, you don't notice anything.
You don't notice Hyunjin blinking, his lips opening to speak but nothing comes out.
He can't move no matter how hard he tries and once again his eyes go back to the glassy state they're always in.
"Gonna cum." you whine loudly, gripping his right hand and he starts vibrating inside you, pushing you over the edge and making you scream as you squirt all over him.
"Fuck." you whine as your eyes focus, noticing you have left red marks in his thighs.
"Oh. Did I hurt you?" you gasp, your fingertips gently running over the marks.
"Didn't mean to." you look back at him but he lays still.
His cock twitches inside you and you grip his left hand, making the doll fill you up as you slowly ride him.
You lift up slowly, his cum sliding down your inner thigh together with your release.
"Made a mess of you, dolly." you look at the state of him.
"Maybe a bath?" he doesn't answer but still you prepare a bath and place him in it, careful of the usb opening on his neck.
You get inside after him, settling between his legs and leaning your back on his chest.
"Why are you so warm, Hyunjin?" you caress his arm as you hold it, his other one thrown over your stomach.
Sighing, you lean on his shoulder and close your eyes, trying to relax in the warm water, as Hyunjin 'held' you.
You still couldn't understand how they made him, but you were willing not to think about that, as he brought you a kind of comfort you didn't expect, making you wanna indulge in that feeling for as long as you could.
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It's been exactly two months since you've gotten your Hyunjin doll, and ever since then you've loved spending every day with him.
You talked to him like he was alive, you watched movies with him, you read him books, you slept next to him every single night, you brought him to the kitchen so he can watch you cook, you even took him on late night drives sometimes, feeling bad that he was locked up in the apartment all day.
Sometimes, you thought you saw a flicker in his eyes, a slight smile on his face, or his fingers twitching against his thighs.
Some nights, while you're half asleep, you could swear that he tightened his hold on you or his chest lifted up and down like he was breathing.
Some days, as you'd come home from work you found him in a slightly different position than you left him.
One time, you sat him next to the window so you could watch rain together, and when you came back from making some tea, there was a heart shape in the fog on the glass.
"Did you do this dolly?" you caress his hair and look at him closely but he doesn't react.
You sigh, tracing another heart next to the first one before you sit in his lap, bringing the warm cup to your lips and observing him.
You thought you were going crazy in the beginning but as time passed by, you were becoming sure that there was more to Hyunjin than you initially knew.
"Just say something if you can hear me. Or squeeze my hand." you try for the nth time as you sit on your couch with Hyunjin but nothing happens.
"Fine." you huff. "Maybe you want something first. What would you like? I bought you new clothes. Maybe you want something else like... like something to do with art? We can paint together, if you'd like."
Hyunjin doesn't answer.
Nevertheless, you bring your art supplies and a bottle of wine.
You make yourself comfortable on the floor, next to Hyunjin's legs as he sits on the couch.
You end up being the one painting and drinking, Hyunjin's eyes move to look down at you, the look in his eyes softens, unlike the glassy one he always has.
He wants to talk, he wants to lean over and caress your hair, he wants to taste the wine off of your lips and feel the paintbrush between his fingertips.
But he can't. His eyes become glassy again as your phone rings, jolting you out of your peaceful activity.
It's your mother.
The conversation starts as always and it escalates into a fight of when are you settling down, why aren't you married, why are you closing yourself off, why are you such a failure?
As soon as you hang up a sob escapes your lips and you fall into Hyunjin, seeking comfort as you wrap your limbs around him, your face buried in his neck and your hot tears sliding down from your cheeks to his shirt, soaking it up.
"No one would understand." you cry. "They'd say I'm crazy and maybe I am. But I don't give a fuck."
Your body trembles against Hyunjin as you hiccup and sniffle, your arms wrapped tightly around his waist, your leg thrown over his thighs.
His body seems warmer than before and you squeeze him a little.
"Maybe I'm fucking crazy for loving a doll. But I love you Hyunjin." you sigh, closing your eyes as you lean against him.
His eyelids flutter a few times. He blinks.
A deep breath through his nose and you almost miss the way his chest moves up.
You place your hand on his chest, and feel it.
A heart beat slowly forming, at first almost too slow to be normal until it becomes steady and then speeds up.
He's breathing, his lips are dry as he licks at them, his hands clutch onto you and you scream.
You jump up quickly, your eyes wide as you look at him.
Hyunjin looks back up at you, his eyes wide and filled with fear and shock, mirroring yours.
He opens his mouth and a series of coughs escape his lips.
"Wh- How? Am I hallucinating?"
"Y- y/n." is the first thing he says, weakly and quietly as he reaches out for you.
You stay still as a statue, not sure what the hell is happening before your eyes.
"P-please, don't be scared." he begs as he tries to get up but his legs give out and he falls to the floor with a thud.
"Ugh." he whimpers, his hands grabbing at the coffee table.
You're slow to react to him falling from the shock of it all, making your way back to him cautiously.
"Did you hurt yourself?" you ask quietly.
"N-no, I don't think so." he says as he looks up at you.
"Who- who are you?" you don't know what else to ask, because the doll you used and played with was now a human with a heartbeat and he was looking at you, even knew your name.
"What do you mean? I'm- I'm Hyunjin, your romantic doll." he answers like it's the most normal thing ever.
"How are you alive? Why now all of a sudden? I don't get it." you say as he sits back on his legs.
"You... You love me. Your love brought me to life." he swallows, his cheeks rosy.
"Oh... There was nothing about this in the manual." The fucking manual. The doll's actual purpose. Everything you ever did to him. Embarassment washes over you and you feel absolutely mortified.
"Do you... did you hear me all this time? And um, see and feel what I was doing?"
"Y-yeah." he nods, his cheeks becoming even more red.
"Fucking hell." you whine, covering your face with your hands as you sit on the couch.
"Hey, it's okay. I- I was made for that." he says, his hand on your knee in an attempt to comfort you.
You peek at him through your fingers.
"And you were so nice to me. So... warm and loving. You made me feel so good. You never mistreated me even when you knew very well you could do whatever you want with me. I'm thankful for that. And I- I love you too, y/n." Hyunjin talks, his thumb gently caressing your skin.
"Are you programmed to say stuff like that? Are you a robot?"
He chuckles.
"I'm not programmed and I'm not a robot. Didn't you feel my heart beating?"
"I did but... I don't understand. How were you made?" you finally remove your hands from your face.
"I don't know. I wish I could answer your questions but I'm as clueless as you are. I just know I was conscious the whole time while I was with you but I couldn't speak or move. Like I was paralyzed. It was horrible. I tried giving you signs, I tried to talk multiple times but it's like something would hold me back, like there was a wall and I couldn't break through."
"That does sound horrible. I'm sorry if I ever did something you wouldn't agree to." you say quietly, your face burning in embarassment.
"No, no, I liked everything you did." he says with a sheepish smile, averting his eyes. "Wish I could reciprocate." he looks up at you through his lashes.
You're biting on your lip nervously, his hand reaches for you and you accidentally snatch yours away, not used to your doll talking to you and trying to touch you.
"A-are you gonna abandon me now?" he asks quietly as he eyes your hand.
"What?" you look back at him to see that his eyes are watery and you gasp. "No, of course not! I always wished you'd come to life. Didn't think it would actually happen so I'm still processing and hoping that I'm not dreaming."
"Oh, thank god." he exhales and you let him grab your hand. "I- uhm... I'm very hungry and thirsty. Could you help me with that?"
"Oh! Of course! I will make some dinner for us." you say and help him sit up on the couch, noticing that now he's heavier than he used to be.
"I guess I still need to get feeling in my legs and arms." he says as you bring him a glass of water.
"Mhm, probably you need to have blood pumping properly through your body. Don't worry." you pet his hair as he drinks and he looks at you.
"Here, you'll be warm like this." you wrap him up in your fluffy blanket and notice a change on the back of his neck.
"Oh!" you exclaim, your fingertips touching the skin there, making Hyunjin shiver a little.
"The usb opening is gone." you declare and he brings his hand to touch it, your fingertips grazing against each other.
"That's weird." he says absentmindedly.
"All of this is weird." you chuckle and he chuckles with you, making you look at him.
God, he's even more beautiful with a smile gracing his face, you think to yourself.
Without thinking your hands gently cup his cheeks.
"You're really alive." you whisper, your thumbs gently stroking his face, his eyes flutter as he pushes into your hands.
"I am. Does that make you happy?" he asks with a sparkle in his eyes.
"Very happy." you nod with a smile, leaning closer to him.
"Good. I want to make you happy. When you're happy, I'm happy too."
"Hyunjinnie." you whine against his lips and kiss him gently.
Having him kiss back as he clutches at your shirt is the sweetest thing ever, you think as you wrap your arms around his shoulders.
"Okay, I don't want you to starve now that you came to life." you lean back with a chuckle as he chases your lips.
"Yeah, please, I need food." he nods and you make your way to the kitchen, whipping up a quick dinner, checking constantly if he's okay.
You bring two plates as soon as you're done and Hyunjin's eyes seem to get bigger as soon as they land on the food.
"Be careful, it's still hot." you warn him.
"Okay." Hyunjin nods.
He eats happily, asking for more which you of course bring to him.
"Are you feeling better?" you ask when the two of you finish eating.
"Yes, much better. But I feel very tired now."
"You need sleep. Let's go to bed. Do you think you can walk now?"
"I think so." you grab his arm and help him become steady on his feet.
You lead him to the bathroom and he looks at you.
"Now that you're alive, you need to brush your teeth and wash up before bed."
"Right." he nods.
After a whole ordeal of getting ready, you finally plop down under the covers.
"Can I- Can I hold you?" Hyunjin asks sweetly and you chuckle, rolling your body into his.
"Of course."
"Always wanted to do that." his limbs wrap around you as he holds you tightly, your face buried in his chest.
"Good night, Hyunjin. Please be there when I wake up." you nuzzle into him, inhaling the familiar fresh and flowery scent of him.
"I promise I will. Good night, y/n."
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It wasn't a dream.
Your eyes flutter open and Hyunjin smiles at you fondly, his hand gently caressing your cheek.
"Morning, dol- Hyunjin."
"You can call me dolly if that's what you like." he smirks and you chuckle.
"Eh, well you're human now. It feels like I'm degrading you." you gently touch his chest.
"I don't mind." he shifts and you feel his erection press against your thigh.
You gasp a little, your core throbbing with want.
"I'm sorry." his face is red instantly. "It's just- when you touch me... I can't help it."
"It's okay, Hyunjinnie." you slide your hand down to cup him through his boxers.
He whimpers, leaning into you, his eyes fluttering shut and you press your lips on his in a heated kiss.
His tongue licks at your lower lip and you let him in, eager to finally feel his kisses how you craved to.
Hyunjin kisses you messily and hungrily, grinding into your hand, grunting against your lips.
As soon as you slide off his boxers, automatically your hands lift up to push him on his back but he grabs your wrists gently to stop you.
"My sweet girl, let me take care of you how you deserve now that I'm able to." he rasps, his eyes hooded as he looks at you with lust.
"O-okay." you whisper and lay down on your back, letting Hyunjin slide your panties off as you pull off your shirt and toss it somewhere aside.
"I've spent so much time receiving. I want to give, my angel. My hands hurt when I couldn't touch you and make you feel good. That's all I want to do." he sounds desperate as his lips attach to your neck, leaving wet kisses on your skin, his hands roaming on your body and settling on your breasts.
"Mm, make me feel good, Jinnie." you whimper as he squeezes your breasts, massaging them and moaning against your skin like it was more pleasurable to him than to you.
He mumbles sweet praises as he leaves more kisses that lead to your nipple, his tongue darting out to swirl around it, making you arch into him.
His eyes are dark as he wraps his lips around it and starts sucking, his other hand sliding down to grip your inner thigh.
Fingertips ghost on your skin, both his hands now spreading your legs apart.
"Do you know how much I longed to taste your sweet nectar? Will you let me drink from you, my angel?" Hyunjin asks, his finger gently pressing into your clit, circling it.
"Yes, please, oh my god." you whimper, your hips lifting up into his touch.
He smirks, trailing kisses down to your core.
He stops for a moment to admire you and you don't even have time to feel self-conscious as he spreads your pussy lips apart and leans in to stick his tongue inside you.
"F-fuck!" you jolt as he starts moving it before he leans back a little and licks at your sensitive clit.
"Taste even sweeter than I imagined." he moans, his lips wrapping around your clit as he sucks on it, his thumbs gently caressing your pussy lips.
"H-H-Hyunjin!" you whimper as he sucks harder, your hips lifting up in pleasure.
"Could be here for hours. Eating this sweet pussy out." he moans, pushing his tongue inside you again, this time fucking you faster, his nose giving the perfect pressure on your sensitive nub and driving you crazy.
Your hand grips his hair, pushing him more into you as he skilfully moves his tongue, his lips pressing into your lower ones as he makes out with you.
Your orgasm washes over you quickly, coating Hyunjin's face and he laps it all up greedily, his eyes shut as he whimpers into you, sending vibrations right into your core.
You feel crazy with desire the more he continues eating you out like a man starved and you have to grip his hair and pull him away after he gives you two more orgasms.
"H-Hyune, please, I need your cock." you whimper, feeling like you're falling apart.
He licks at his red lips, his eyes crazed with lust he feels for you.
"Anything my angel needs." his voice is husky as he leans over you, the tip of his cock pressed against your wet, messy cunt.
He pushes in with ease, after all, you've been fucking on him for the last two months, your pussy was used to the stretch.
"Mm, Hyunjin!" that doesn't make it feel less pleasurable when he fills you up, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix.
"Move, please." you whimper, already feeling out of it.
Hyunjin grips your thighs and starts fucking you at a steady pace, his cock dragging against your walls deliciously, sliding easily through your wetness.
"Feel so good. So warm. Just for me." he whimpers, his eyes fluttering shut before they open again and look down where his cock disappears inside you.
"Just for you, Jinnie." you moan and he looks up at you, a smile on his face.
He leans closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and in turn you wrap yours around his shoulders, bringing your bodies flush together as he buries himself deep inside your heat.
He ruts into you desperately, your lips meeting in messy kisses, spit dribbles down your chin and he licks at it, kissing your jaw and your neck wetly.
"P-please tell me you love me." he whimpers in your ear, holding you tightly as he fucks you harder, only taking a little bit of his length out and shoving it back in with force that has your mind spinning.
"I love you, Hyunjin. I love you. So much." you cry happy tears, making him cry too as you clutch onto each other.
"My angel, I love you more than anything." he says as he kisses you, his tongue playing with yours.
He brings you to another orgasm, his fingers on your nipples, pinching and pulling as he keeps rutting into you desperately.
"C-can I cum?" he whimpers, his hands gripping desperately at your waist.
"Yeah." you nod quickly and he gives you his left hand to squeeze and as your fingers entwine, he cums, filling you up endlessly, more than when he was just doll and you whimper as your legs clamp around him, lifting your middle into him and cumming with him again.
Both of you breathe hard as he stays inside you for a moment, before pulling out and watching his cum drip out of you.
"D-do I still have to squeeze your left hand for you to cum?" you chuckle a little.
"No, just... force of habit, I guess." he says sheepishly like he didn't just fuck your brains out.
"What about the vibrations?"
"You really liked that, didn't you?" he smirks, his hand sliding up your thigh tentatively, before his fingers slide between your folds, playing with the wetness.
"Shut up." you say embarassingly, swatting his hand away.
"Don't worry, I can vibrate if you want." he bites on his lip as he looks at you.
"I'm too sensitive now." you whisper and he chuckles.
"I know. Usually you don't go above four, five orgasms in one sitting. Maybe six if you're extra horny."
"It's embarassing to me that you know this in such detail." your face becomes red as Hyunjin chuckles, shaking his head.
"Nothing you should be embarassed about. I'm happy to please you." he says and leans down to kiss you gently.
You pull him into your embrace, hoping that from now on, he stays human, and keeps loving you because in this moment you can't imagine your life without Hyunjin in it.
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"Thank you for letting me use your painting supplies." Hyunjin smiles up at you as he sits on the floor of your living room, like you always did when you painted.
"Don't thank me, Jinnie. What's mine is yours." you smile as you sit next to him and lean in closer.
"Let me see." you say as he looks down sheepishly.
He pushes the sketchbook towards you and you gasp.
"Hyunjin, this is amazing! How did you manage to paint so well?! And you painted me! That's so sweet."
"I- I don't know. As I started, it's like I got déjà vu, like I already did this before and many times so."
"Really? That's peculiar." you say.
"Maybe we should call the company I got you from." you add, tapping your chin.
"P-please don't!" Hyunjin panics, gripping at your thigh. "I'm scared. I don't know why but when I try to think of that place, it feels bad. Please don't call them. I don't want them to take me away from you."
"Hey, hey, it's okay. No one will take you away from me. I won't call them." you quickly grab his face to calm him down.
"You promise?" his pupils shake as he looks at you.
"I promise." you nod and kiss him sweetly to let him know he can trust you.
Hyunjin visibly relaxes with your touch, wrapping his arms around you and tucking his face in your neck.
"Um... could we go outside? We only ever went on night drives which is understandable but now that I can walk and stuff, we could go out on real dates and maybe visit museums?" he looks up at you with a smile.
"Of course! Anywhere you want to go." you smile back at him, and he leans up to kiss you.
For the next several weeks, you take Hyunjin everywhere.
To the park, the movies, museums, to a club, to different restaurants, to a mall, anything that comes to your mind, the two of you decide to visit, even going to a little town nearby for a day trip.
You don't remember the last time you were this happy and had someone next to you who made everything look so easy and sweet.
Hyunjin had taken an interest in capturing all the pretty moments so you got him a camera, deciding to surprise him for your 6 month anniversary.
As you came home from work, you called out to him but there was no answer.
"Jinnie? Are you sleeping?" you pushed the bedroom door open but the bed was vacant.
A heavy feeling settled in the pit of your stomach as you searched your entire apartment and couldn't find him.
Frantically, you looked for him again, knowing that he didn't suddenly become Barbie sized and hid somewhere.
He was gone.
You ran out of your apartment to knock on your neighbor's door.
"Tony! Did you see Hyunjin today maybe?" you asked him as soon as he opened the door.
"No, I didn't, sorry." he shook his head.
You didn't know what to do so you went back to your apartment and burst into tears.
Hyunjin didn't have a phone you could contact him with as he never had the need to use one so you had no way of reaching him.
All you could do was sit and wait, biting your nails as every single scenario runs through your mind.
He will come back, you reassure yourself as you fall asleep from exhaustion.
And he does, around 10pm the door clicks open and you jolt up from your nap on the couch.
"Hyunjin?" you say into the dark space and he turns on the light, standing in the middle of your living room with two gift bags in his hand and an apologetic look on his face.
"Oh my god, Hyunjin!" you jump to your feet, running to him and throwing your arms around him, squeezing him tightly and almost knocking him down as the bags fall out of his hands and he wraps his arms around your waist.
"I'm so sorry, y/n. I should've left you a note. I-I went out to get a gift for our anniversary tommorow."
"Please, don't ever disappear like that again. Do you have any idea how scared I was?" you cry and Hyunjin gasps, his hands on your face as he wipes away your tears.
"I'm really sorry. I will never ever do something like this again." his eyes water too.
"I should get you a phone." you shake your head. "Hey, how did you even manage to buy a gift? You don't have any money." you chuckle, wiping at your cheeks.
"I went to the park and painted portraits of people for money, then got the gift."
"Oh, Jinnie, you sweet fool. Just don't give me any more scares."
"I promise I won't." he nods and your lips seal in a kiss.
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Despite having so many options to choose from now, Hyunjin and you decide to have a nice dinner at home for your anniversary, where it all started.
You even took out the most expensive plates and silverware you owned, adding some candles to create a more intimate atmosphere, some light romantic music playing in the background.
"Y/n, I um- got you something I'd like to see you wear tonight for me."
"Oh, you did?" you smirk. "Show it to me."
Hyunjin grabs one of the gift bags and reaches it to you with an excited smile.
You chuckle and peek inside, seeing that he got you black and red lacy lingerie as well as a dress.
"Do you like it?" he asks.
"Very much so." you take out the dress and touch the silky material. "This dress is very revealing." you notice the opened back and the deep neck line that would definitely almost make your breasts fall out.
"I was counting on the fact that we celebrate here because you in that dress is for my eyes only." his eyes darken suddenly.
"Oh yeah? Let me get ready for our dinner then." you chuckle and make your way to the bathroom.
Hyunjin decides to wear the clothes he arrived in, since those were the only fancy clothing items he owned, and he thought it was kind of symbolic to put them on tonight.
You walk into your bedroom to find Hyunjin dressed and staring at the big box he was packed in, one you still didn't get rid of.
"Jinnie?" you call out as he seems to be deep in thought.
"You kept the box." he says, still looking at it.
"I did. I had no idea what I was getting into so I left it just in case. I was gonna throw it out, it's just really heavy." you explain, making your way to him.
"When you arrived, two men had to carry the box in, and somehow the box seemed heavier than you. I barely managed to get it into the closet. Had to push it and stuff. Sorry I didn't have the chance to get rid of it."
"It's okay, y/n. You don't have to apologize." he smiles as he turns towards you.
"Oh." a gasp leaves his lips as he sees you all dressed up for him.
"You like?" you smirk, winking at him.
"Mhm." he nods quickly. "You look stunning, my angel."
"Thank you, Jinnie. You look handsome."
His cheeks seem to become more red with the praise as he mutters, his eyes darting left and right.
You enjoy your dinner together, romantic music playing in the background, the tv mute, left on just from the habit of it.
After you finish eating, you migrate to the couch to cuddle and drink wine, some stupid show playing on the screen and the two of you jokingly read from the character's lips, making up nonsensical conversations and laughing.
After some time and some more wine, Hyunjin becomes even more handsy than usual, grabbing at your thighs, sliding his hands on the silky material of the dress.
You melt into him, kissing him as your arms wrap around his shoulders, your tongues languidly massaging each other as your core throbs with need.
Hyunjin caresses you gently, his hands worshipping you, sliding down your throat, to your collarbone, to the swell of your breasts, down to your stomach and waist, landing on your hips.
His lips attach to your neck as he leaves wet kisses on your skin, licking at it and sinking his teeth in.
"Mm." you moan, playing with his hair as he kisses your collarbone and the flesh of your breast, leaving another love bite on the soft skin.
His hands travel under your dress, roaming around on your legs and your eyes open, landing on the tv, making you gasp.
"Hyunjin, that's you!" you jolt, pointing at the screen.
"Huh?" he mumbles, already drunk on you.
You quickly grab the remote and turn on the sound.
"...seemingly the dolls have some kind of malfunction that the company does not wish to reveal to the public. All eight of the purchased dolls are required to be returned and the buyers will get their money back, guaranteed. The customers will be contacted accordingly..."
"M-my friends. I vaguely remember them." Hyunjin breathes quickly, you can see that he's getting upset quickly. "They wanna take me away from you."
"I won't let them." you quickly shake your head.
"What are we gonna do?" he asks, clenching his fists and you gently grab his hands, trying to soothe him.
"We're gonna... leave."
"Leave?"
"Yeah, I have a house my aunt left me up in the mountains. I don't think they can find us there. For now, until we think of where to go next." you start planning immediately.
There was no way you would let anyone take Hyunjin away from you.
"But, what about your job? And your things?" Hyunjin bites on his lip.
"I don't care. All I care about right now is making sure you're safe." you smile at him, your hand coming up to caress his cheek.
Hyunjin smiles, leaning into your touch and wrapping his arms around you.
"Thank you." he whispers into your hair.
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You get a call from an unknown number the next day, but one quick google search tells you it's the company Hyunjin came from.
You packed one bag of a few essential things you'd need, leaving most of your belongings behind.
"Y/n! There's a black van posted outside. It's been there for hours. They're looking at the building right now." Hyunjin announces and you make your way to the window, half hiding behind him.
"We need to use the fire exit." you declare and Hyunjin nods as he turns to you.
"I won't let them take you. I promise." you hold his hands.
"I trust you, my angel." he smiles and you kiss him gently before the two of you exit the building, quickly entering your car.
You step on the gas, and reach out to hold Hyunjin's hand in yours.
As you speed off into the sunset, hoping for a better tomorrow, a black van rounds the corner, following you from afar...
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