#I enjoy writing fanfiction but I'm too anxious to post it

[ceruleanterrapin]

and finally, you Leo!

you would be, obv here on Tumblr :D

yet you would have an AO3 account to find some fanfiction on space heroes (that makes you cry in the middle of the night because the fic was soul crushing)

ahem- anyways

-- e-mail anon from comparing social media to turtles :3

Oh, absolutely. Though, if this were back in well, my version of New York then I wouldn't be so open about my identity. I'd just have a random, anonymous fandom blog for Space Heroes to geek out

As for AO3, do I actually have an account for that. I haven't posted anything at the moment, but I do have wips of stuff in my drafts. AO3 has so many good stories... I currently have 430 saved on my account that I've read/am reading

[teratosfavouritesnack]

| Masterlist |

First of all let me introduce myself and my blog.

Hiii, fellow monster lovers and welcome! I'm Näckros and this is my monster friendly (too friendly) side blog where I post any cute or filthy thought that crosses my mind. English is not my first language so if I make any mistakes please tell me so I can improve. I'm a porn with plot type of gal, which means that I tend to set the mood of the story before I get into the smut stuff, so (were)bear that in mind! And on that note, THIS IS A 18+ BLOG SO MINORS, BEGONE 💋

This blog is a safe space for all the weirdos and the delulus who think that they could get railed by werebeasts, minotaurs, orcs, dragons, weird aliens, giants even, and not be ripped in two. The fictional world is amazing precisely because we can do whatever the hell we want in it so let's forget the realistic technicalities while we're here, yeah? Let's allow our imagination to run free and enjoy what it comes up with. Let's be degenerates together. <3

My ask box is always open - you can send questions or open discussions about any theme regarding monsters; you can send requests of monsters you'd like to read a story about; you can send suggestions, share your own fantasies, recommending books, movies, videogames, other blogs; you can also send me feedback on things I've written (it's always highly appreciated and motivating). I do not put any limits - If I don't like something, I will simply not answer.

My DMs are also always open for anyone who wants to chat and become mutuals, but please be patient with me if I'm late to answer. I swear I'm not ignoring you, I'm just anxious + lazy + unable to manage time but also always doing something, which could be either writing stories for this blog, or fanfictions for my main blog or making digital art for my art side blog. So yeah, I won't always be avaliable, nor will I post daily on here.

I have a Ko-fi where you can leave tips if you like what I write and you want (but mostly, can) support me. I write for my own enjoyment of course but I'm a jobless student and money unfortunately is scarse. So even just a small tip as a 'thank you' can help me.

What else can I add?

BE RESPECTFUL - DO NOT SHAME ANYONE FOR THEIR KINKS - DO NOT BE RUDE - DO NOT COPY OR REPOST OR TRANSLATE OR MODIFY MY STORIES IN ANY WAY

That being said, enjoy your stay and thank you for following this weirdo here and enjoying the products of her weird mind 💜

SFW | scenarios - imagines - fics

Cold Hands -> vampire boyfriend x afab!human

Nighttime Muse -> vampire boyfriend x human

Meet Cute -> minotaur x human - more about this

Accidental Summoning -> demon-like creature x afab!human

Bouncer in Love -> [part 2] - [part 3 coming soon] werebear bouncer x afab!human

Death in Childbirth -> dragon husband x afab!human

Cat and Mouse -> werepanther biker x afab!human

NSFW | scenarios - imagines - fics

Period Tracker -> werewolf boyfriend x afab!human

The Lover -> [part.2 coming soon] unknown monster x afab!human

First Date with BFF -> werewolf x human

Ready For His Cock -> minotaur boyfriend x afab!human

Big Bad Wolf -> werewolf boyfriend x human

Well-Fed Cat -> cat hybrid boyfriend x afab!human

Tests Subjects -> werebear x human [longer fic coming soon]

Prankster -> [part 2] ghost x afab!human

Pouncing Panther -> werepanther husband x human

Dirty Hobby -> roommate!werewolf x afab!human

Wet for the Doctor -> gyno!lizard man x afab!human [longer fic]

Tavern Orgy -> multiple monsters x fem!human

Companionship in the Labyrinth -> minotaur x afab!human

Cow Dreams -> alien x afab!human

Helping Hand -> centaur x human

Ishtà-kurme -> husband!orc x chubby!fem!human x husband's sons

_

Jack of all Trades -> robot x afab!human

Full of Eggs -> mothman x afab!reader

Search #teratosnack's poll for all the polls I made

Search #monster art or #terato art for the beautiful art I reblog

Search #teratosnack for all my stories

Search #snack answered; for my answers to your asks

Credits to @ anitalenia for all the dividers I use for my posts 🫶🏻

[stunticonbreakdown]

I feel like a lot of people seem to forget (or are unaware) that Breakdown's paranoia manifests itself into violence rather than the need to be taken care of by other people. (I do not mean for this to come off as rude at all, even if you have found you write or think of Breakdown this way. This is just a subject I find annoying, and wished to speak about it 😊.)

I see him depicted as a "cinnamon roll" kind of character a lot, as if his paranoid delusions and hallucinations and whatnot leave him a crying, shaking mess on the floor simply in need of care and affection (which, to be honest, he definitely does need, but the point here is that it's not a super accurate representation of his character).

Canonically, as shown in the cartoon as well as his many many bios, he gets violent. His gun does not leave his hands. He would not hesitate to physically harm someone else while he has the belief they are wronging him. He was born with his gun in his hands, so why would he be afraid to use it if he believed he was in danger?

I feel his mischaracterization comes from a lack of education on like... How paranoia works and affects the mind. Even seeing how courageous and strong Breakdown is in the cartoon, people focus in on his stammering and fears mentioned in his bios more, and then writing it in a way that ignores the forementioned traits because some people just do not understand that those traits can coexist, or how they can.

I will be honest, I do love a good comfort fic, and I can't see him shooting at someone who's only trying to help him, but let him have his more 'violent' traits! I do believe some people may also fear that they're coming off as writing Breakdown into the "violent and evil paranoiac" archetype, but as long as it's done right, it's not going to feel that way.

Let him shoot down a security camera! Let him ready his gun after hearing a knock at his door! Let him break something he was holding because he got too distracted by his thoughts! Because he would!Him being continuously written as an "innocent lil anxious boy" feels incredibly disregarding (if that's the word?) to his (and real people's) issues. I find his more violent traits relatable. I don't have a gun, but I break/damage so many things when in a distressed state of mind, and I know for a fact many other people do.

To conclude this, I will mention this is not a direct criticism of anyone or thing. This is about a jumble posts I've seen, conversations I've had, and some fics I've seen. Even the fanfiction I'm barely referring to, as I understand many authors, including myself, enjoy projecting onto characters they like. I do not mind reading fics or seeing fanart where he's curled up onto a ball in panic, but I just wish more people saw Breakdown less as "innocent with anxiety" and more as how he actually is in the cartoon/comics/bios. There is a difference between seeing Breakdown as the aforementioned archetype of anxious + innocent and seeing him as his appearances show and describe.

Thank you for reading all the way through, if you did! Once again- this was not meant to come across as rude at all, nor was this a direct criticism of anyone or thing. This is me getting my thoughts out as someone who heavily relates to Breakdown on how the fandom tends to view him.

[crepesuzette2023]

Hello! I just wanted to say something and ask for advice.

I absolutely love fanfictions because I love seeing people's different writings and techniques and storylines... And I enjoy the smut too to be honest.

But when it comes to real people, I just feel guilty. I don't know what to do. I'm hyperfixiated on the Beatles rn and I'm a mclennon truther but I still feel guilty reading them.

Do you suggest anything? Oh I don't know... I suffer from anxiety and I'm very unsure.

Hi there—

first of all, thank you for trusting me with this question.

I'm sad to hear you're feeling guilty about reading fan fiction. Sad, because I love it too— {Paul voice:} a lot.

I never had the guilt you're describing, so I don't know how helpful I can be, but here are some thoughts.

First of all, you mention feeling guilty "when it comes to real people." I think it's great you're giving this some thought, and that you're seeing their humanity, and acknowledge how important it is to respect another person's privacy. But!

As I see it, you're not doing anything bad to a real person by writing fic about them, or reading it. You're not. Fiction is invention. It's not a rumor presented as truth. It's not an insult posted on the person's socials or the walls of their house. It's not something pushed in their faces. It's fiction posted to an archive that can easily be avoided, the way I avoid certain shelves in the book store without complaining about the fact that they're there, or demand the bookstore be closed.

But also: The Beatles in the fics aren't the real Beatles. They're avatars. The one way writing & reading fan fiction differs from fiction about original characters is that it comes with an existing background, characters, & world building. That is all. It's still fiction. My Paul isn't your Paul. He's not the real Paul. I don't know the real Paul. I don't want to know him. He's 100% safe from me. *Lovingly describes John running his tongue over his sweaty leg fur*

I know that sounds weird, but think about it. Many novels have been written about historical figures (or obscure real persons only known to the author!) with no one batting an eye. The Crown is often named as an example. I read a biographical novel about Thomas Mann recently. (The Magician, *snore* —Thomas Mann deserved better!) I have my second Sylvia Plath novel on my night stand.

What's happening here is that real people are becoming history—a copy of a copy—larger than life figures—and art (writing) becomes a creative way to respond to what they did. That's all.

It's nothing to do with doing anything bad to a real person. It's just fun (the day our friendship's begun).

So, after running my mouth, what do I suggest?

Keep telling yourself:

It's art.

It's okay to imagine anything.

It's no one's business what you enjoy in the privacy of your own mind.

A lot of storytelling is fan fiction, even if it isn't labelled as such!

If you still feel guilty and anxious, you can always stop reading—or, if you feel like it, investigate where these feelings are coming from, perhaps with the help of someone who can support you in getting rid of these feelings.

I've gone on long enough—go read some smut, safe in the knowledge that this is a thing of all times, and a sign that the beat goes on. People who argue otherwise need to get their legs combed.

[arkiliastuff]

Prologue - In a Concrete Jungle

Noah Sebastian x OFC (Aurey)

(pictures edited by me. Originals url linked on the pictures.)

A/N : I thought about this one for a while and, even though I have a lot of other fanfics that are waiting to be finished/written, I wanted to share this one in particular with you :D It's been on my mind for months, the lore maturing in my head. It's going to be a LOT different from what I usually write but I'm trying things and despite the dark mood in this story I hope you'll enjoy it as well ! :D

Warnings/Tags : Strangers/Enemies to Lovers trope, violence, blood, post-apocalyptical universe, cyber-futuristic vibe, "no god, no religion" vibe (I don't mean any form of disrespect in any religion), mention of trauma, death, loss, drugs, mental and physical abuse, trust and abandonment issues. (Just in case MDNI please).

Disclaimer : I haven’t read the comic book “Concrete Jungle” written by Noah Sebastian and illustrated by many cover artists such as Nicola Izzo, Jeremy Wilson and many more, so I don’t know much about the lore and the universe. I just got inspired by the song and the few panels of the comic book that I saw about it. The rest is a pure work of my imagination and it’s not related to anything official. Nothing is canonically official. This is totally fanfiction. And so this is how I pictured the world in the song “Concrete Jungle”.

~The little bean taglist : @valiantroeagleangel @talialovesmiw -> ask me if you want to be tagged :D

━─━─━━─━「₪」━━─━─━─━━─━─━━─━「₪」━━─━─━

She walked there, in this desolate landscape, with a strong determination. Two girls who seemed to look like her friends were following her, looking behind them briefly. Probably afraid of someone or something that will come after them. After all, they went out without authorization. They went out in this no man’s land, caused by gangs and mafias. Many civilians had perished because of this war. The survivors were hiding underground, in the subway. The reason why they went outside was because one of them, a girl with glasses and blue eyes, forgot her necklace at the church where she always went to pray. So after complaining to her friends about her precious loss, the strong-willed brunette who was among them decided to go and get the necklace back. The two other friends eventually followed her even though they were feeling nervous about disobeying.

“If we hurry, we will be back in no time” She said, trying to reassure her anxious friends.

And so, just like the bold brown-haired girl said, they arrived at the place. The church had been bombed. The two girls felt sad about the destruction, but the leader didn't seem to be moved by it. Instead, she was more focused on her mission, looking for the necklace, while making sure nobody would come to arrest them. She was in hypervigilance, almost looking paranoid. She looked everywhere under the seats and chairs that were still there until she saw something shiny. She reached for it and then wiped the dust on it. It was a crux with a silver chain. 

“I found it, Faith.” She stated, calling for her friend.

The latter one walked towards her, analyzing what she found before realizing what it was.

“It's my necklace ! Thank you so much, Audy !” Faith replied happily, using the usual friendly nickname for her friend.

The latter one just nodded in silence, her focus back on her group and looking for their second friend.

“Where is Daisy ?”

The two of them looked around the ruined church before they saw the red-haired girl who was near some candles next to a shrine of prayer. She lit up a candle and prayed in silence for their sake. Faith joined Daisy, lighting up a candle as well while Audy was watching them, starting to get annoyed.

“Come on guys, we cannot stay here too long.”

“Just a few more minutes.” Daisy replied.

A few seconds later a breeze came through, extinguishing the timid flames on the two candles. From this moment, Faith and Daisy stood up and stopped praying, turning on their heels at the same time towards Audy.

“We’re done.” The first one said.

“The Lord has heard our prayers.” The second added.

“What ? Already ? But you just lit the candles a few minutes ago” Audy replied, confusion in her eyes.

“It is the way it is. It’s probably a good omen” Faith said.

“Wait.. Let me just light the candles again.” The brunette said sheepishly.

As she was going slowly to the shrine, about to light the candles with another one, both of her friends widened their eyes in shock, attempting to stop her.

“DON’T !” Daisy yelled.

“DON’T DO IT, AUDREY ! You’re disrespecting His words !”

The long browned-haired one stopped her movement in the air, the spark just above the candle’s wick reaching it slowly but surely. Then, she looked at Faith and Daisy, an angry and dead gaze in her dark eyes.

“Even if I lit up those candles again, do you think it would change a fucking thing for what happened to our city ? To our families ? To our friends ?” She replied, clenching her teeth together as she spat her words like venom, anger getting the best of her, before she continued.

“No, it wouldn’t. Don’t take that fucking breeze as a sign from your Lord, ‘cause you two know better that, if He wanted to help us, He would have done it already. We are responsible for our own downfall. For our own misery. And no Gods will ever help us. Only the demons that you’re afraid of will answer us because they're close to what we are.”

After that, she saw the shock on her friends' faces, trying to reach out to her and yelling at her that she was irreverent by saying those words. It was the shock before the sound of something falling as fast as lightning just dropped on the ruined church. And then everything exploded. Bricks of the building were thrown away at Daisy and Faith’s head, knocking them out immediately. Audrey got hit as well, feeling her blood flowing from her face before blurring her vision. The last thing she saw was her two friends on the ground, blood running from their heads. Then, it went completely white.

━─━「₪」━─━

Aurey woke up, sweating all over her body as she was panting, trying to gain some air. She put a hand on her forehead, trying to wipe the sweat away and checking it. There wasn’t any blood. She sighed in relief but not too long. She knew it couldn’t be just a dream.

“This wasn’t just a nightmare” She whispered to herself, knowing too well this situation.

She stood up, got her gear on her and packed her stuff together before leaving the spot where she slept. She knew she shouldn’t have slept there. 

It was a small cave of collapsed buildings parted together which were composed of cables, metal pieces of broken engines everywhere. 

It could crumble any minute. But she took the risk anyway, as she felt this one was more safe. She didn’t know how long she slept but she was aware it was late. Once she got out, she covered her nose as she smelled an heavy and toxic smoke. It was the smell of somewhat burned vehicles and trash cans not that far away. It was, probably, another threat from a gang who were arguing again in the city.

She put her customized respirator on, breathing again. Then, she started to climb up the ruins, reaching for a higher spot to get a better view. She climbed a few minutes after finding a window, which gave a great opening view from below. She took her binoculars out of her pocket and started to look around. 

Through it, Aurey saw a usual wildfire in the city, on her right. She could barely hear the sound of gunshots. A lot was happening and she hoped her teammates could handle it while she went patrolling on her own. Suddenly she saw something blinking, in the corner of her left lens. She turned a bit more to her left and saw a black car entering the Nameless City. She had never seen a car like this before. This was the first time that she had witnessed new people arriving. Who could they be ? And why were they coming into this hell hole ? She made a mental note to herself to keep an eye on this vehicle and the people who were in it.

Meanwhile, Noah was lost in his thoughts as they were passing through the barbed wire gate of the city. He was just getting bored of the trip, having no idea why they got a call to come here. His partners and best friends in the car told him it was a well-paid mission, but he wasn’t really convinced by it. They had to do some cleanup as they were told. And given the sight of the city it seemed this town needed it. What was left of the police authorities were just broken cars, with no more tire or windows. They probably run away from all the chaos, just to survive somewhere else. Just being out of this mess. Noah kept staring through the window, his chin in the palm of his tattooed hand, just looking at all the clutter those crumbled buildings had made.

“A real concrete jungle…” He muttered.

Then he heard a howl. He was taken by surprise, not expecting to hear such a sound in this kind of city. He listened again, opening his window just to hear it more clearly. Another howling. It wasn’t human. It sounded more like an animal.

“ What was that ? Did you guys heard that ?” He said, his eyes widened as he couldn’t believe his ears.

"Heard what ?" Folio asked, not really paying too much attention to their surroundings.

"A howl. It sounded like a coyote. Or was it a wolf ?" Noah continued, his ears attentive to any other sound.

But the howling animal had stop. He still had no idea what his friends and him were getting into but he promised himself to investigate this strange city.

[paskuda-lynx]

You know what? I quite enjoy Dadrius

I'll expand: although to many people Dadrius loses as a concept due to unpretty relationships inbetween him and Hunter in the past, I personally think that this is an interesting base to work from.

I have a few "takes" about various scenarios or dinamics explorations about this pair which I'm too nervous to release in fanfiction form (English is not my first language, and also writing long texts with wholesome culminations and stuff generally makes me anxious) - so I guess I can at least post them as ideas here on Tumblr.

Usually I'm more of "longread about RELATIONSHIPS and STORIES and CONFLICTS" person but even writing them in my native language would be draining - and I don't even enjoy how that would look because many termins in TOH are pun-related and/or difficult to okayishly translate from English - so instead I'll try some quick takes in relatively short sentences and will work up from there. Or maybe I'll immediatly dive into monstruously big sheets of texts while suffering from how awkwardly I frase them. Who knows.

I guess I just need to begin so I might find out.

[dreamsandstars24]

Lawyered up - Chapter 1

Hiyooo, this is my first try at writing a fanfiction.

Well, writing it here, because in Wattpad I have 7.6k readers. Yes, this is me showing off because even though it's fanfiction, it takes a lot of work.

Sooooo, some inside into this:

It says chapter 1 because I will be posting more, obviously.

My first language is not English, so you'll have to be patient and kindly let me know if there is any mistake so I can fix it.

This is not a Hotch x Female MC. Even though I love daddy Hotch, I just never imagined him as the sexy daddy version, more like the dad-daddy version. Yeah.

I am busy like crazy with University and a job, so posts may be slow.

I really hope you enjoy this.

Anyway, enjoy.

I'm never drinking coffee again.

I'm banning coffee from my life, I will never drink it again and somebody should slap me if I ever drink coffee again. Please and thank you.

And even better, I will never drink coffee again before one of the most important final-stage interviews of my life. That should probably be something they ask at coffee shops, "Do you have any life altering things that will happen today?" and if you say yes, then you are not allowed to buy coffee.

Is not that I have something against coffee, God forbid, but I just get extremely hyper when I have coffee and based on what Professor Sukhan has said, I'm already hyper enough as it is.

So, why did I drink coffee today? Because I thought that staying up until two AM reading the longest, toe curling, smuttiest fanfiction ever was a good way to spend my time. Was it worth it? Yes it was, but that doesn't mean I don't regret it now that I'm shaking like a freaking chihuahua.

"Deep breaths, Liliana. And keep your hands under your legs." Professor Sukhan whispers softly, his eyes on his newspaper but I know he is anxious too. He is risking his professionalism creating this opportunity for me, and I really hope he doesn't regrets it.

It wasn't easy to make it, but I did it. I managed to get into the final stage of interviews in the FBI, and to be more specific, in the BAU.

I studied near death to graduate from law school, and I really really really want to get this job/internship. It took Professor Sukhan months to prove that allowing me to have an internship would be really beneficial for both the bureau and for me, sometimes I feel he sold my abilities for more of what they actually are but I know I will do my best to ensure I surpass expectations.

Hopefully.

"Liliana Madrigal." My eyes shoot up and find the blue eyed man that is staring at me. "We are ready for you." He is white.

Not that him being white is bad, is actually good, unless he is racist which would really hinder my process and my ability to maintain the facade of being a nice, obedient and sweet girl and--

"Liliana, please go and behave." Professor Sukhan mumbles bringing me out of my stupor. This is why he came, because he knew I was going to be so nervous this would be chaotic.

I clear my throat and stand up, nodding to the professor and making my way to the man who is now looking at his phone with a frown. When he realizes that I am standing right in front of him, he turns around and walks me through the doors where my future self may be walking.

I look around when the door closes behind me and barely have time to register the chaos this place is when the blue eye man mumbles "Keep up" and practically sprints down the hallway.

Swallowing down my fear, I run after him.

Freaking tall people think my little legs can keep up with them. I can barely reach the shower head and I'm expected to run after this tall guy and--

"Here. Go inside, sit down, and wait until they come."

I frown while my feet stop. "They who is-?" He ignores me, turns around and leaves.

Well, so much for being nice.

I stare at the black door and decide that they will not bring me to meet a serial killer in my last interview, I think. I hope.

Right?

"Okay Liliana, those who don't risk, don't win." I nod and take a deep breath, "You can do it. Please don't let it be a serial killer and please don't let me do anything stupid, amen." And I open the door.

A normal looking office says hello to me.

My eyes blink rapidly as a relieved laugh escapes my mouth. I don't know what I was expecting but an office that looks like the office of my psychology professor was not it. But this is good, this is nice, this is acceptable-

"Are you going inside or are you coming outside?" The deep voice behind me says and my soul goes to heaven to meet with its creator because I just died. Thank you and goodbye.

I turn around and find two men looking at me. The first man, I immediately recognized like Jason Gideon because he went to my criminology class and his lecture gave me nightmares, but the second man who is staring at me undisturbed has never been seen by my eyes. He is handsome, he is grace, he is mister United States-

"Pardon me?" I mumble because I just saw his lips move but I didn't hear a thing. He blinks.

"I asked if you are the girl I am supposed to be interviewing." He repeats calmly. His voice could narrate an audio book where he tells me how he is going to kill me in the most gruesome way and I would hundred percent say thank you.

"I certainly hope so because I was just dumped here with barely any instruction." Gideon smiles a little at that and a part of my soul rejoices because I just made Jason Gideon smile.

"What's your name?" He asks, and his voice is a soft baritone that has me feeling cozy inside.

"Liliana Madrigal, a pleasure." My hand stretches out; once again, I'm too late to realize my actions because I forgot my hands were shaking which is obvious now. Both men stare at my hand and then Gideon shakes it and lets go.

"I'm Jason Gideon and this is SSA Aaron Hotchner, we are on the behavioral analysis unit and we will be directing your interview." I nod and nod again and both stare at me. Agent Gideon gives me another soft smile. "We should go in the office."

"Oh! Of course, come in. Make yourself at home." I step to the side allowing them both to come in and then I notice the name at the door.

Aaron Hotchner. I just gave him permission to go into his own office. Amazing.

"Miss Madrigal, will you come in and close the door behind you please?" Agent Hotchner asks. I follow the orders and then walk to the chair in front of his desk. He is sitting on the chair while Gideon leans on the wall beside the window.

My hands fidget on my lap and then I remember how I'm supposed to keep them under my legs and take a deep breath. I do that and count to ten while the men look at what I'm assuming is my file.

"Miss Madrigal, your file says that you graduated at fourteen from high school." Agent Hotchner mumbles, scanning the page with his eyes.

"Yes, sir." He looks at me and the way his eyes are so dark make me very nervous.

"Is there any reason as to why that happened? Because your IQ is slightly elevated but not that much." I nod and then consider what to say.

They may notice the confusion on my face because Gideon speaks. "Just tell us the truth without sugar coating it."

Well, if he says so.

"I was bored, sir." They both stare at me.

"Bored?" Agent Hotchner repeats, I nod again. "Could you elaborate?"

I take a deep breath. "I didn't want to spend more time in school than necessary so I forced myself to graduate faster to study what I really wanted to study."

"Which was criminal law," Gideon says, my head shakes.

"No sir, I wanted to become a taxidermist." Both men stare at me and I can tell I managed to surprise them.

"Why didn't you then?" Agent Hotchner asks.

I shrug, "My mother said that if I became a taxidermist, I would sleep with the carcasses and see how that suited me." With secret joy, I notice how the corner of agent Hotchner's mouth twitches upwards.

I MADE HIM SMILE!

"So you didn't become a taxidermist, and decided to study law, correct?"

"With some little disruption to my plans, but yes sir." Agent Hotchner moves his hand in a rolling motion and I understand he is asking me to expand. "After the fiasco with taxidermy, I decided to explore my passions in the business world."

"You studied business, then?" Gideon mumbles, reading through my file.

"No, sir. I became a runner for a local gang in my neighbourhood." I think I actually managed to surprise them this time.

Both look at my file, their silence making me more nervous. Did I just messed up? Did a hot nice cup of coffee messed up the opportunity of a lifetime? Did I just ended my career choice?

"Why not a courthouse? You could have made a fine prosecutor with your grades and the success of your practicum." Gideon points out, I shake my head no.

"I thought about it and did two weeks as an assistant for a prosecutor and I am positive about not choosing prosecution."

"What about defense? You could have been good at that."

"I'm not fond of lying."

"So why the FBI? In this job, you need to keep a lot of secrets and maintain a low profile." I press my lips together considering what I have to say.

Two choices in here: Either lick their boots or be honest.

"As I was looking for career choices, I realized that the BAU gets sued continuously over every procedure that they endure-"

"How did you got that information?" Agent Hotchner asks, serious.

"One of my teachers worked as a legal advisor and one of the people that came to her was a lawyer who was helping someone sue the BAU for incorrect management of a case. Anyway, I kept my ears open and realized that this team is the one that gets sued the most and that caught my attention so I started researching why and I reached a conclusion," My hands intertwine as I smile at them. "And the conclusion was that in order for this team to be getting sued so often, then it may be doing something right."

Agent Hotchner closes my file and leans back in his chair, the look of calm suits him and then he turns to Gideon and a whole conversation takes place without them even talking. This is crazy.

While they have their strange staring contest, I think about the possibility of accepting the CIA offer. It came as a surprise, to be honest, but the terms are good; professor Sukhan would be a little dissapointed because the original plan has alway been the FBI but I don't think he'll mind that much.

I mean, is either CIA or going back to being a Runner and I think which option is better for my criminal record.

"You start on Monday." Agent Hotchner speaks and I nod.

"What time?"

"I need you here at five AM. We'll go over some information and I'll show you your office, if we have the time, I'll introduce you to the team." I nod and get up when he does. His hand stretches towards me and I shake it firmly. "Welcome to the team." I smile at him and then turn to Gideon, we shake hands and I take a deep breath because my hand is shaking more now.

"Welcome, Agent Madrigal." He murmurs warmly, I nod at him.

"Thank you, I will do my best." I walk to the door with them behind me and I know they are walking me to where professor Sukhan is. When we reach the door, I turn to them and smile. "Thank you, again." They both nod and I cross the doors, noticing how professor Sukhan stands up and stares at me.

We both stare at each other and he smiles when tears pool in my eyes.

"You did it." He mumbles coming closer.

"I start on Monday at five AM." He laughs, wrapping me in his arms which makes me sob.

"Are you crying?" He laughs, rocking me back and forth.

"I just don't want to wake up at five AM every morning." I sob in his shoulder. He laughs and pulls me closer.

"You did it," He whispers, patting my head. "I knew you would."

***

Hotch felt himself smile when he realized how the girl he had just hired was crying while holding the Hindi man. He wasn't sure what the relationship was, but he knew that the man had sold the girl at such a high price it tempted the bureau to meet her in person. And he wasn't disappointed.

Even though her psych results tilted her towards OCD regarding her job, and her getting obsessed in some cases, her results were so good he had to double-check every case she had participated in because she was practically a genius when giving criminal charges.

Eighteen charges, she had given eighteen charges to a child abuser and Hotch had been so surprised because he hadn't even thought about those charges. She was a genius, and she was merciless in court. That's why seeing the clumsy girl surprised him because she showed a completely different side of herself.

"Seems like we got another girl to babysit." Morgan rumbled beside him, slurping his coffee while staring at the girl with a smirk. Hotch hummed agreeing. "You think she'll give us a run for our money?"

"She is smart," Gideon mumbled, "she'll be okay."

With a smile, Hotch saw how the girl now had the man in a choke hold while she jumped excited. It was adorable.

"She'll fit right in." He whispered softly.

[galwithalibrarycard]

Hello, how r u? Soo, I just discovered love little losers (I was a huge fan on nmtd, but didn't know about lolilo). And I love your blog, thanks for keeping the fandon alive. Argh so, Freddie, does she gets better? Cause she's a little bit annoying. Pedro and Balt, I'm jumping out of my sits for them, the backslash? Really. I'm so excited to see more beadick. Anyway, I just wanna vent, thanks for the blog

I’m good thanks, hope you are too. And thank you! I’m definitely not the only one still here keeping the fandom alive, there’s still a few of us out here, but I appreciate the love! 😁 it’s nice to know people are enjoying my posts still!

We’re actually having a small resurgence in the tags with new people watching both series, which is fun. Those people inspire me to keep posting too, it’s all full circle.

I am… not really sure how to prepare you for lolilo tbh. It’s a loose adaptation of Shakespeare’s Love’s Labors Lost, and it’s a lot heavier and angstier than NMTD for one thing, so be warned. Pedrazar is a very slow burn, be prepared for a journey! I liked Freddie right away bc I relate to her anxious energy, but you might take some time to warm up to her, that’s fair.

I recommend you head to @beatriceeagle and check out the series of Lolilo meta analysis posts she made with her sister a few years back. It’s a show that trades in subtext and has a lot of important stuff go down offscreen. Reading the metas really helps give a more thorough understanding and insight into the characters and why they behave the ways they do. It might help you understand where Freddie’s coming from, and the others too.

As far as Beadick, I’ll tell you they will break your heart, but it will be put back together again. If you need more of them, the missing offscreen moments and development of their relationship are kind of my specialty in terms of fanfiction. I wrote “the world is too quiet without you nearby”, a 16-chapter fanfic covering the time period between NMTD and Lolilo when Bea and Ben are in a long-distance relationship (plenty of fluff to pad the descent into angst). I also wrote “And We Are Finally Home”, a fic that covers the Beadick relationship arc from the lolilo episode “Confrontation” on through the end of the show- and I WILL be finishing and posting the epilogue to that fic as soon as I can, but you can read the chapters that are already up and still get a pretty complete story there. You don’t have to read them, but i wanted to share because I’m proud of them and I think they’re a good companion to the show if you like Team B! Mind the tags, but there shouldn’t be anything in the fics you can’t handle if you can handle the actual show.

The most important thing you might not get from the videos themselves: it’s canon from the creators that Benedick and Freddie and Balthazar are all dealing with anxiety disorders of some kind, though the creators didn’t actually intend to write that going in- it just happened that they agreed with the fandoms interpretation later on. So everything Ben does is colored by anxiety constantly telling him that he’s too much and that no one likes him and the only thing he’s good for is a laugh- and the (false) worry that Bea is getting sick of him and can’t wait to leave on her travels to get away from him. He’s trying to keep people from leaving him. Freddie is the way she is because she’s desperate for control in life, it’s the only way she feels calm. And Balthazar is petrified of confrontation and retreats into himself when he’s stressed. A lot of this is covered in much better depth in the metas I mentioned, but I wanted to let you know. Not as an excuse for any of their actions, but as an explanation that might make it a less frustrating watch.

I hope that answer wasn’t too overwhelming. I am just incapable of being normal about these webseries and especially about Benedick Hobbes (look, you don’t simply forget the character who got you through your own social anxiety diagnosis, and this is the obsessing-over-fictional-characters website. I talk about other things too, I promise! xD)

Anyway, thank *you* for allowing me to share some thoughts right back! I hope you enjoy Lolilo! 😊💖🦩

[scummy-writes]

Hello, please call me Scum! If that is too direct for you, you can call me Scummy as an alternative.

I am 29, I go by she/her pronouns, and I use this blog to post my fanfiction as well as my general fandom ramblings and such. I am primarily interested in Ikevamp and Ikepri, though I generally like other eng cybird games as well.

I am pretty explicit at times, and primarily write smut, so I do not want minors following me.

My main account is @strawberry-scum. I do not recommend following it, however if you want to properly block me, you need to block that account as well as this one.

─── •✧ Favorites

Prince: Gilbert, Roderic, Clavis, Silvio, Chev, Keith

Vamp: Isaac, Arthur, Theo, Comte

Villains: Elbert, Alfons, Victor

Tier list here!

─── •✧ Ships (between suitors)

Gilbert/Roderic, Gilbert/Silvio, Gilbert/Chev, Gilbert/Clavis, Isaac/Arthur, Arthur/Theo, Theo/Isaac, Comte/Sebas, Elbert/Alfons- and variations of these ships with mc or an oc in a poly relationship.

─── •✧ Other Blogs

✧ @ikemen-daily-questions - a blog centered on popping out a question daily to think about in regards to your fave character (limited now, posting holiday q's and then ending)

✧ @c-bookwyrm - Oc blog for my ikepri oc Constance

✧ @askgilbertvonobsidian - askblog where I rp Gilbert

✧ @letters-from-ikemen - a blog where other writers and I fill out letter requests from your fave ikemen. Requests are open, and we're still recruiting new writers!

─── •✧ Writing Info

✧ I am not a stickler for IC / OOC. I believe that since we're not official writers for these games, everything we write is OOC. I personally will try to stick to my belief of what I think IC for the character based on what I interpret from the game and don't like arguments about this.

✧ I enjoy gentle femdom, and so loose aspects of that (if the fanfic is not centered on that) will sometimes pop up. It's been a while since I've written it, however.

✧ I usually don't see any of the characters as strictly straight and so will ship suitors together at times, or have the suitors romantically interested in each other when writing polyships. I will also reblog trans hcs and such too if I enjoy them. If that bothers you please just leave me be.

✧ Due to liking Gilbert, I'm now able to have a character I feel like I can explore kinks and themes that I felt like I couldn't with Isaac. Unfortunately, Isaac is the outlier in my normal flavor of faves from before the cybirdie games.

✧ I write for myself first and foremost. If you dislike it, just leave me alone.

✧ Always happy to answer qs about my fics or blog

✧ I have a lot of issues IRL and so it's hard for me to write often, and guilt associated with this is why I do not do requests often.

✧ I don't fuck with people who turn writing into a weird fight for popularity with each other, or who just write for notes/attention rather than the joys of creating. I prefer having a healthier relationship with writing and fandom content as a whole!

─── •✧ Misc Info

✧ I am unsure of how others view me, but I am rather anxious and shy, so I often do not reach out to others. I am also quite busy when I am online, and so messages may be neglected since I do get a good amount of them. I Love to talk to others!! I do not mind (polite) asks and such!! Just....busy.

✧ A huge part of fandom for me is reading other people's interpretations of characters. I think discussion surrounding characters is fun, and I enjoy seeing the various conclusions people come to about how a character is. Because of this, you may see me 'contradict' some things ive written when reblogging others works/discussions, or even discussing things on my own. It's just fun to consider a character through multiple angles.

✧ I can't figure out tone often with the use of anon, and in general I don't do well with 'overfamiliar rudeness' with people I do not know. So please no playfully rude messages on anon.

✧ I treat everyone as equally as possible. More specifically I do not believe there are '#1 fans' of charas, I don't think a follower count = fandom respect levels, etc etc. Unfortunately if you're pretty rude to me, even after a chance to step back, then I'm likely going to be rude back/block. Don't be a weirdo about this.

✧ I've had this blog since 2017, and I've been writing for longer than that. I like being creative, even if I struggle a lot. I am lucky enough to have my writing in a physical zine, and that is gouda enough for me.

✧ I consider this a writing AND fandom blog, and that is why I will make posts about fandom, as well as the games I enjoy, beside my writing.

✧ I used to create for My*me, but I no longer wish to participate with that fandom. If you ever have specific questions regarding my fanfics from that time, feel free to ask, but keep in mind I may not always want to answer.

─── •✧ Last Updated 09122024

[if-confessions]

I've been in the IF fandom for almost two years now, and I don't think I've ever found a fandom I've liked as much. I like the community here, the stories, creativity, how diverse the games are compared to other media I see.

I like reading IF, but more than that I'd really to create an IF game myself. I've been creating stories since childhood and I've always wanted to tell them to other people. However, I was never able to find a suitable medium for doing so. Creating video games is a passion that met reality and died too fast, writing traditional books makes me incredibly anxious, and comic and visual novels require way too much drawing when I'm a concept artist at best. And IF... IF seems to be exactly what I was always searching for. But here's a twist.

I'm not a writer. I'm really not. The amount of writing that I've done that wasn't for my studies is... not a lot. Which makes me extremely self-conscious of my writing, and I'm a very anxious person to start with (and English not being my native language doesn't help). I just don't know where to start, I've never even written fanfiction. And then if I end up actually writing something and posting it for people to see, I'm afraid of what they'll say, of me not being good enough, or of people being uninterested in anything I create. It's dreadful really. And I know that this feeling is possibly shared by so many other people, but I just don't know what to do about it.

I had wanted to post this earlier, but Tumblr ate my essay again...

Welcome, Anon, to the wonders of IF! Have a seat, and a cookie, and enjoy the ride! It's quite the experience, you'll see...

Totes understand your worries. With so many good projects out there, it's easy to not feel... adequate (in writing or proficiency); and with many in the community having opinions, to be unsure whether to publish said work.

But here's the thing: many of us in the IF community (especially as hobbyist) have not studied writing (for a while or at all)* or are writers either, and quite a few of us are ESL (hi, hello!)**. So you are in very good company!! *sidenote: some of us consider ourselves game dev/creators before writers too. **Dear... you wrote an essay of an ask with no mistake (that I could find) - I would not have guessed you were not a native speaker, if you hadn't said it before.

To relieve those anxious feelings, here are some advice, from one ball of anxiety to another one:

You don't have to publish anything you don't want to have public. If you prefer to write for yourself and yourself only, it's more than fine. Having fun is what matters.

There are ways to "hide" your project from searches (on itch or tumblr) to have a bit more privacy, as well as disabling replies/comments/ratings...

Setting boundaries from the beginning with people interacting with your projects (whether it is in asks, or doing beta/feedback rounds/etc...) can also be quite helpful (even if some people don't follow them...).

Join writing groups and share snippets/ask for feedback. It's helpful to get some boosts of confidence and get pointers on how to improve.

Have beta/playtest rounds for longer feedback needs (like when you are ready to upload/update a demo, to catch bugs or typos and stuff).

Joining game jams with small projects can help with testing ideas/stories/gameplay, and get comments/feedback from people.

Anyway, we all start somewhere, and very often (most always) that somewhere is not good at all. But that's ok :) There's always room and time for improvement and change (until you're finally happy with it). The beauty of online games is that you can always tweak it and fix it when something doesn't feel right. Nothing is ever set in stone!

Good luck :)

[astraystayyh]

Eek more questions hehe I really like this new set

Really curious for #1, #7, #8, #10, #13, #21, #24, #28, #34, and #35!!

These were really good questions hehe

-💫

What inspired you to start writing fanfiction?

it was i think my 3rd month of being a stay? and I really loved reading ff on here even tho I had no idea how this app worked LMAO I've already told her but @rachalixie's hurt/comfort drabbles were my fav thing to read, she was one the first ppl I followed on here, and so, tmi, I was feeling so anxious and I wrote a channie helping u through an anxiety attack drabble (that I never posted AJSNJSB) and I was like hold on! this is fun! i can write what I want??? and post it for people to read...... like I was already writing some poems for a couple of years now but they were just for me yk, so i got super ambitious and i posted a long ass OT8 saying ily for the first time as my first fic akssjnjb i was so nervous like actually shaking and refreshing the notif bar every two seconds, i still rem the very first two comments i got, i think that's when it hit me that people actually READ stuff I wrote.

short answer, i've always loved writing and then stayblr -mainly anny inspired me to start writing too hehe

10. What's your favorite part about the fic writing process?

wahhhh probably coming up with lines i'm proud of?? i also loveee weaving parallels into my fics and for everything to come full circle, I love the symbolic aspects of fic writing in a way, thinking of mundane things and giving them an important significance for the characters!!! someone commented underneath Orange that they cannot believe they're crying over oranges and that rlly made me giggle!! that's the point HEHEH

13. What's the most challenging aspect of writing fanfiction for you?

for me it's descriptions ;;;; especially when it comes to sceneries or clothes or omg PLACES like decor and all,, I can't envision these things in my mind so I always worry I'm not describing them well in my fics,,, also the little transition scenes where nothing MAJOR happens but that are still pivotal to the right flow of the story ;;; yeah these mess with my head the most

21. Have you ever used fanfiction as a way to explore your own emotions or personal experiences?

hiii heyyy ofc i did ZJKNJD i think a lot of authors will relate but art cannot be completely separate from the artist, every work u read of mine has a little (or big) piece of me in it, that's why it's so vulnerable for writers to share their works on this scary place because u are perceived and judged for them and u hope that someone will find solace in ur struggles or relate to ur worries,,, and this is really helping me mend back my rp with love!!!

24. What advice would you give to someone who wants to start writing fanfiction?

JUST DO IT!!!! seriously go for it, you'll 100% cringe at ur earlier works later on but u will also improve and learn and discover things about urself that u would've never known otherwise!!! be self-indulgent and write things for urself and there will be always someone who will appreciate them

34. Are there any fic writing tips or tricks you've learned along the way that you'd like to share?

im trying to think of smtg i never mentioned before mmmm.... oh I think that trying to include bits and quirks of the member u are writing about is always so fun and makes the story more enjoyable for the reader!! ofc we don't know what these idols are like irl BUT there are some aspects of their personalities that we know of (like their interests or small habits) and it's always fun to incorporate into ur story, also helps with the characterization hehe

35. What do you enjoy most about being a fic writer?

THE FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!! nothing beats the feedback for me it's literally what makes the entire thinking, writing and editing process worth it!! the feedback is what keeps me going and fuels my motivation, it is so so important for writers I can't stress this enough,,, I'm so so grateful and lucky to have such sweet readers who leave me the most THOUGHTFUL feedback, like with just one rb u could erase SEAS OF DOUBTS in the writer's mind. i always say this but the only way for me to know if my fic is good is by reading u guys' opinions,,, so yeah the feedback is my fuel ;;;;

7. How do you handle writer's block or moments of creative stagnation? 8. Do you have any rituals or habits that help you get into the zone? 28. What's the most ambitious or challenging fic you've ever written

i answered these here and here <33

[queenofbaws]

One good turn deserves another, so now I'd like to thank you for YOUR kind words and well-wishes! I should probably clarify as well that I'm no stranger to writing in general - I've worked as an editor and even have my own story in the works. It's fanfiction that proves daunting, as I fear I won't be able to portray the characters accurately or even write believable modern-day interactions due to my own... social shortcomings, so to speak. If you have any advice to offer, I'd be rather grateful!

!!! well lookit that!!! aw man, if you're already writing your own story, you're so ahead of the game!!! ;)c on the rare occasions i've been asked for fic advice, my first step is almost always to, like, get a feel for writing rules in general, so cross that sucker right off the list!!! heheh

i'll throw a few nuggets of extremely long-winded "wisdom" below the cut for anyone interested, but tl;dr the BIGGEST and BEST advice i think i could give to someone hesitant to dip their toe into writing/posting fic is this: we're all playing pretend here - and i don't say that to minimize anyone's efforts!!! not even slightly.

if anyone takes playing pretend seriously, it's ME, angsty longfic mcgee, but at the end of the day, fanfic is YOUR sandbox. YOU make the rules. YOU make what you want to make the way you want to make it when you want to make it. everyone wants the validation of hearing that other people enjoyed their story, that they're moved by their art, but sometimes things won't hit the way you hoped they would, or people wind up having a different interpretation of a character than you and don't hesitate in letting you know, and man, that sucks when it happens and it can make the idea of continuing to post really, really daunting, but it's still your sandbox. if you like it? if you enjoyed making it? if it was fun and fulfilling and you felt satisfied once it was finished?????????? THAT'S what you gotta hang onto. THAT'S what's gonna keep you moving forward. <3

(and, just saying, from personal experience? once you take the dive and give it a try? ooooh baby. there's nothing like it ;P i've mixed too many beach metaphors in here. that has to mean something.)

LONG-WINDED RAMBLING, GO! i want to preface this by saying, hi, this is 100% just me running my mouth about how i go about writing fic - if anything i say here doesn't work for you, ignore it! wholesale!!! everyone has different processes, everyone approaches writing in a different way, and even my writing buds and i butt heads sometimes about the fic-writing process, so imagine this is simply me offering suggestions on little scraps of paper, neatly piled up on a silver platter. you're free to fling that platter out of my hands at any time ;P ha!!!

i COMPLETELY understand how trying to get a pre-existing character's voice down can be intimidating, but at the end of the day...everyone's going to view them a little differently anyway!!! that's one of the beautiful things about fic - two people can look at the same character and see completely different facets of them, and that in NO way makes them wrong, or somehow less valid! here are some of the things i do when i'm trying to get into a character's headspace or find my version of their voice:

mannerisms! the first thing i always try and figure out is how the character behaves in canon. do they hold themselves confidently? do they get along with other people easily? if it's visual media like a video game, what kind of idle animations are we working with here - nail biting, hip swaying, anxious shifting, slouching, yawning, knuckle-cracking? i like doing this a little bit better than just trying to pin down what kind of "personality archetype" they have, like...you can say ashley brown is the scared nerd character, sure, and that's one level of her, but she's also ruthless when she needs to be, quick to make a joke, and deeply, deeply curious. digging down into a character's pieces-parts instead of just looking at them as a whole can really make your characterization of them feel more HUMAN.

actual source material dialogue. how does the character actually TALK in the source material (if they do, in fact, talk at all)? do they stammer? pause often? are they using high-scoring scrabble words in day-to-day conversations, or do they mostly just grunt and nod when asked a question? if you're worried about keeping YOUR version of them close to the source material or canon, i always say look for those verbal tics right off the bat. to keep using until dawn examples, josh tends to talk slowly but FLUIDLY, if that makes sense, like he's been practicing how cool guys talk in movies; chris, on the other hand, tends to start and stop, or have a jerkier sort of cadence, shifting in pitch the more agitated or anxious he is. mike talks to himself a lot, whether it's to make inane comments or reassure himself that he's okay; matt really sort of stays quiet unless he's talking to another person. that sort of thing!

the jurassic park method. okay. okay stick with me here. this one's my fav. this one is genuinely my secret weapon when it comes to writing believable fic characters. you know how...in the original jurassic park...the whole thing was they filled the dinosaurs' genetic gaps with frog DNA? yeah. yeah i'm about to tell you to do that. only with blorbo from your shows. is there someone in your life who reminds you of a character you're writing for? they don't have to be a perfect match, but maybe there's someone out there who you think "aw man, i bet sam would wear that," or "i could so hear jess saying that," or "i bet she and emily would get along..." this is me taking you by the hands to say use that. fill those gaps with real life experiences. this one's really more about making characters feel realistic than it is keeping them true to canon, but man..................sometimes it really makes them shine, know what i mean???

as for believable modern-day interactions...WOOF. i also feel like...i have missed that bus on that one. 🤣 i wish i had straightforward advice for this, but i have GOT to be real with you, i am a mostly housebound millenial who recently had a very sobering conversation with my doctor about how i've hit the age where i need to actually pay attention to my blood pressure and cholesterol, and boy, that...that really makes you feel very

sdklfjskldf heheheheheheh

my biggest tip in terms of MODERN social interactions??? don't put too much effort into making them modern at all! that sounds counter-intuitive, i'll explain: language moves really, really quickly, and it's constantly changing. if you throw a lot of slang into an interaction, it's going to date itself pretty quickly. instead, when i'm writing, i really focus on the interaction feeling BELIEVABLE. not even "natural," not even "normal," whatever those mean, but believable. can you BELIEVE that characters would interact with each other this way. cuz let's face it: sometimes. in real life. social interactions. occur. strangely. that doesn't make them less BELIEVABLE.

(and for what it's worth???????? a lot of time canon doesn't care about modern day interactions either. emily and jess's fight in the lodge is.......the best example......i could give you. there's....there's a lot going on in that one. the bar has been set...very low on that one alkdjfalksjfasjdfklsdjf hahahahahahahahah!)

i'll stop here before i literally turn inside-out from word barfing so much, but to revisit my very, very first point up top...writing and sharing fic can be SO nerve-wracking. 100%. no question. writing is personal!!! if you're writing your own story, i'm sure you totally get that. it's a piece of you! and by putting it out where everyone can see, you're making yourself vulnerable, and that can be so, so terrifying. but. BUT. i am personally of the opinion that the benefits outweigh that moment of trepidation ;)c if this is something you've been wanting to do, i wholeheartedly say give it a shot! if you decide it's not for you, eh, at least you tried, right? and if you love it, then look at that!!! a whole new world opens up at your fingertips!!!

and you'll for sure have ME rooting for you, either way :D

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

This post has no real point or purpose, but I want to share somewhere that today I'm really noticing just how far I've come and I'm just so happy about that. Like things aren't perfect for me now or anything, but I remember being like 15/16 and not allowing myself to do so many things in fear of being "weird" or "cringe". I couldn't even do them when I was alone because I had (still kinda have at times) this intense feeling like something is in my brain watching my every move and I can't do anything too weird because of that someone. And like I stopped doing things I enjoyed because of this. I was so anxious about other peoples opinions of me that I only had like a small amount of acceptable music I allowed myself to listen to, and I stopped reading and writing fanfiction bc it was cringe, and I didn't allow myself to like so many things. Like I genuinely can't put into words just how bad my anxiety was at this point. It was in every single part of my life. But now I'm looking back and I'm so so happy with how much better it has gotten. I read and write fanfiction often now. I initially had to have a whole routine just to allow myself to do so, but now that routine is gone and I just do it normally. For the past month or so I've been listening to music that I'm sure I would've loved when I was 15, but it was in the "unacceptable to listen to" part in my brain, but now I don't care. The music is awesome and I enjoy it, and I can play it on speakers even around other people and even when other people find it weird. I used to not even be able to play this music when I was alone! And there are still small things that I'm super anxious about. And sometimes that feeling of something watching me is still there. But now it's sometimes and not every single time. But now it's more manageable. And idk I'm just happy I can enjoy things again

[seriously-nobody]

I was gonna turn on anon but I decided against it, would it be okay if I actually asked you a question? Since I know you write reader insert fics yourself I thought you would maybe relate to what I’m feeling and if so I wanted to see how you deal with it. I absolutely love writing x reader fics, I get really attached to my favorite characters and I love pouring that love into writing form for myself and others to enjoy but sometimes I still feel embarrassed/ashamed/anxious about it and about how others might perceive it. I know there used to be a big stigma behind it and I got made fun of for it for a while and even now when I’ve gained enough confidence to start posting them to public places I still get a little worried that someone is sitting being the screen and thinking “wow this is cringe” especially because it’s most of the content I write and I don’t often write about ships or storylines like a lot of other people do. It’s a bit silly because so far most people have been nothing but nice to me but I still feel a little bit anxious about it especially as I keep writing more and more of them and wonder “oh man is this getting irritating for people”

I apologize for the slight vent, I just found it a little difficult to articulate the emotions in a more simple way. Have you ever felt like when you write fanfic? And if so what helps you kinda push through it and start accepting your writing more?

You don’t have to reply to this if you don’t want to or if it doesn’t really apply to you, and again I’m sorry for dumping a wall of text into your asks- I just got stuck in a little rut while writing my next chapter today and am having trouble getting out of it.

First off thank you so much for the question, I'm really glad u asked and were confident enough to send this without the anon on. Second I'm going to answer questions or comment on certain things as I read this, so here we go.

I don't really write for myself, I mostly write for the people who want to read it. I have a small audience but from the few people I have talked to, on here and from my ao3 page, they like it, so I write it for them.

The thing about the stigma is I still feel it. Not for x reader specifically but for fanfiction and fandom in general. But I just have kinda gotten used to it so I just kinda live in it now. I mean I keep my tumblr to myself and of course y'all on here, but that's it. I don't talk about my fics to people I don't trust not just because of the stigma but also because I write some batshit crazy stuff.

I'll tell you this, I don't think people r going to read something that they think they're not going to like. Especially if you label your works right the worst thing they're going to do is scroll away. (But if u do get a negative comment @ me and I'll find them :) ) Also I think my own work is cringe and I've just accepted that it is at this point so I'm kinda immune to someone telling me that I'm cringe or that what I do is cringe because I am and that's just how it be man. I am one with the cringe and the cringe is me. I've lived too long past my experation date to be worried about some default settings incel telling me my Haunted Mansion fanfiction or tumblr blog is cringe. Like uhm ya of course it's cringe? It's supposed to be?? (also it's my brand now that I'm the jester of cringe, thx to @spookyhollowart)

O dude, lemme tell u something, one shots r the best. You don't have to stick to a big storyline, relationship growth, or character arcs. Literally the best. I can't wait to do my one shots because most of them r short and I won't have to be looking back 6 chapters ago to what color some random ass dude was wearing or some bullshit like that, because I have to do now in my current fic.

Trust me the nice people scare me too. It's like WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE AND WHY R U BEING NICE TO ME??? AND WHY DO YOU LIKE WHAT I WRITE?? (U scare me a lot too btw)

O god no! It's not irritating at all! Quite the opposite, I absolutely love ur stuff, especially ur latest one, Soul Ties. Seriously looking forward to the next chapter, I'm super invested in how the reader acts, I very much relate.

Plz don't apologize this was awesome to read through and answer/comment on.

Man that's a big question, uh Ig I can say that for a long time it felt like a joke to myself that I was writing fanfiction. I was writing it seriously but it didn't feel serious/real to me. I'll say this, I accept the storyline and that I came up with it, but I don't accept the way I'm write it. Because I beat myself up for typos, bad flow, not good enough dialog, not enough descriptors, too many descriptors, too short chapters when I have writers block, not good enough, that kinda stuff.

I'm honestly just glad to have someone else writing hm stuff because I love this fandom so much and I love reading other people's work. I hope you get out of ur rut soon. Take ur time, there's no rush, and don't stress on it.

[chaithetics]

hi youuu! :)

first, english is not my first language so sorry for possible mistakes! and second, I just wanted to say that I love porcelain and shark so much!! stewy being a dad was definitely a thing <333 and i'm really excited and really looking forward to new things from reader roy who is now a hosseini (we love that!!!). maybe getting pregnant again? and maybe part of the family judging her for that? (that sounds terrible but im sure logan or shiv would do that lol) or more about her kids or her and stewy just being a cute couple I DON'T KNOW just more content stewy would already make this person - me!!! - happier 😭

and i was also a little curious about stewy's drug habits lol like there was roman joking but how does the reader actually deal with it? I know it sounds like a lot but I noticed you like details and just trying not to make my request a little vague? hahah and YESSS my Succession Sunday was a Succession Monday morning because when I went to sleep there was nothing and when I woke up there was new content so I imagine it's the time zone too hahah but I'm not complaining! (and I'm not the anon who talked about this, I'm just being nosy 🤭)

and just one more thing that's just me being curious IS THE LAST ONE HAHAHAH reader and stewy have an age difference right? I imagine he's the same age as kendall because they went to college together and she's the youngest child.. and anyway it's not important hahah, it's just me thinking.

it got big but I hope to make up for it by wishing you a great day lmao 💕 💕

Hey lovely Nonnie!!!

I'm so, so, so, so glad you enjoyed that piece! It makes me so happy, I was a bit anxious to post it honestly so thank you! Also don't apologise about that, English is an awful language that isn't easy (I grew up in a house with other languages being spoken). You worded everything perfectly and don't owe anyone "perfect english".

Okay my responses feel borderline headcannony/ thoughty so I'll bullet point them, I hope that's okay!

Roy reader will definitely get pregnant again in the future! I just wanted her and Stewy to have a bit of a break before another young child 😂

In the 80th, Jonathan is 3 (closer to 4) and Tillie is around 1. Porce and Stewy definitely read child development books and decided they wanted to try spacing it out so there was at least a couple of years between each child. They didn't want big or small gaps between the children.

The original Nonnie that sent in the prompts had a couple about the relationship between Porce and Shiv being tense and I 100% agree with that. Fanfiction is fanfiction and I completely support people writing characters how they want/out of character but I personally try to write the Roys as realistically as possible to the Canon. I cannot imagine Shiv liking or having a good relationship with a younger sister. She already feels threatened by her brothers but she'd feel more threatened by another woman in the picture and especially one that is younger and has the moniker of the youngest daughter. Especially in Logan's eyes. I do think Shiv would like what she views as protection by having someone in the picture who is weaker to the men and she can join them on calling Porce that. We also see that Shiv embraces masculinity in a way to play in the patriarchy to try and be taken more seriously and advance herself (her manner of speaking especially to other women, the pantsuits, the switch from S1 to S2 onwards in fashion etc.) So Shiv without a doubt would look down on Porce for what she thinks is embracing feminity by marriage, motherhood etc. So Shiv would definitely look down on her for getting pregnant again and not like the attention it gets Porce and Stewy.

I don't know think I got too into it in the 80th or if it's more in some of the drafts I have atm. But I think Logan would fall into that type of abusive patriarch that the abuse still comes through with his grandkids but is better with them than he is with his children. Which I imagine conflicts the Roy siblings a bit as well.

Also, after what's revealed in the series finale about Sophie and Iverson, I imagine that it's something that was a big deal and then became something that was somewhat unspoken but known by all in the family, I feel like Shiv's response confirmed that as well. So I imagine there would be an awkward dynamic around Logan somewhat favouring Porce's children a bit just because they're biological. I think he'd be somewhat glad about those pregnancies as they're more "heirs" and carrying the bloodline. Plus with him being a misogynist he probably thinks that it's her way of contributing/carrying out duties or whatever thinly veiled excuse of misogyny he wants to spout. But I do think he has some issues with them being Hosseinis instead of Roys, especially as things go on because of who Stewy is and what he's doing.

There will be more fluffy Stewy content! I PROMISE! I live for the fluff haha!

There might also eventually be some angst, the original nonnie did send some stuff in about the proxy battle but I do have some thoughts around Shiv's wedding/the bear hug and Austerlitz. So... 👀

HAHAHA! I'm sorry but when you said that you noticed I like details I started laughing because I felt so seen 😂 You're not wrong. I do love details!

When Roman did the body gesture and Porce said he was a bad role model I personally imagined that was somewhat aimed at Kendall. Like he was comparing himself in an "Well I'm a better role model/uncle!" Kind of way but it can definitely be read as a jab at Stewy or Kendall or both of them.

I felt like based after 4 seasons of the Roys and how they treat him even when he's sober, they would definitely make comments like the ones Roman made in the bathroom even if Stewy was clean. I kind of would like to think that Stewy doesn't use cocaine after being married and having children. But if he does (which is probably likely) I imagine he'd use responsibly, small doses, never at home/in front of or around the children. I feel like that's more realistic? But I'm not sure. I don't want to write it super casually when cocaine use is a serious topic and a lot of awful stuff happens because of that, addiction in the show and more importantly reality. I'm more than happy to hear peoples thoughts on it, it's probably something I won't honestly address too much or go into detail of at this stage? But I'm probably leaning towards writing that Stewy's sober now in that regard.

But IF he does still use, I imagine it's that it's not often, it's just "for business" occasionally and that it follows the rules of small doses, never in front of or around the children. It happens very rarely. They have that as guidelines and I imagine that and lots of reassurances/Stewy following through on that would help ease her anxiety a little bit. It's basically Canon that Porce and Stewy are relationship communication Champs.

Yes they do have an age difference.

Do I know what the age difference is? Nope 😂

We never really find out anything about the characters ages except that Logan is 80 at the start and that Kendall is 40 in S3. The shows timeline is also intentionally vague, I think Jesse Armstrong just said that he imagines it taking place over a couple of years. But it's safe to assume that Stewy would also have been 40 in S3 as they went to Buckley and Harvard together. We don't know the age gap between the younger three siblings over plus there's heaps of debate over the birth order of Roman and Shiv and the twin hints. So I can't comment on what the difference is but I do like the twin theory and I feel like (despite Sarah Snook being a lot younger than the others) it's like a 3-5 year age gap between Kendall and Shiv and Roman. So I imagine Stewy and Porce have a 5-7 year age gap at the most? As you can tell, I didn't really think about the logistics 😂 it's probably not a factor I'll go into anyway. But it was interesting to think about the math and decisions about the Canon Roys!

Haha! Welcome to the world of Succession Mondays! I hope it was a good morning read haha! But yes, timezones are very, very, very weird and you're always welcome to be nosey!

But these will definitely be included in some of the pieces coming out! I hope you enjoyed them and you're always welcome to send in requests, questions or thoughts! It wasn't too big at all btw! Thank you so much for reaching out Nonnie! Especially with such thoughtful and engaging questions Nonnie! I hope you have a lovely week and a great Succession Sunday/Monday 💗

[cricketsatnight]

hi there, i just wanted to let you know that a writer named errantrue posted a story on AO3 called Occupied in the olivia benson/elliot stabler tag that has plagiarized from the mile high chapter of your fic (two days later) the hours in-between and after. she forgot to replace a "Joyce", which led me to search the jopper tag for mile high fics, which is how i found yours.

Hey anon!

First off, thank you SO much for bringing this to my attention. You are a true fanfiction hero. (Seriously like... I want to buy you a coffee. May you be blessed always.) I know these things happen, but I have never had it so BLATANTLY happen to me before.

This fucking sucks. New milestone moment as a fic writer, I guess? (That I know of. Yeesh.)

Here's the fic in question on AO3. I imagine it won't be up for much longer, because I will be commenting there. Here is my fic. (The plagiarized scene is in Chapter 2.)

I saved their fic, also saved it in screen shots... what a headache.

You know, typically, I try not to engage in... well, being pissed off online.

But lol.

Since you're following me, and have been since October 2022, hey @errantrue - what gives? This is so disrespectful. I'm glad you fucked up with plagiarizing my work by leaving Joyce's name. Incredible clown shoes moment for you! (Joyce Byers, stay winning.) Moreover, I'm sincerely glad there are readers on AO3 that care enough to look into these things when something is off. (Anon, stay winning.)

Why would you follow me, assuming because you liked my work, and do something so rude and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh terrible? Shitty? I'm at a loss for words, think you could help?

I do this as a hobby. I do this for free, when I have the time, because I love writing. I share what I write in fanfiction with a lot of trust: all fanfic writers do. I trust readers to simply, in good faith, enjoy that I want to make the fictional people kiss. Not to rip my efforts off.

Everyone is capable of writing. I implore you to write what you want, but with your own fucking words. Not just bare minimum changes and tweaks. (Especially when you're copying and pasting a different character's name.) I think about how many of us get anxious wondering if we are writing things too alike to someone we admire, or the hellish what ifs about if there was a catchy phrase or descriptor we picked up in a story years ago, etc etc. These things do happen. I would never care much for or about that; creation is... a lot of fine-tuning and stumbling.

Don't do this.

I get sad when I am on a hiatus (like right now) because fanfic-writing is a beloved hobby of mine. Really one of the few creative pursuits I have that capitalism can't suck the joy from. Shit like this makes me more likely to extend a hiatus than come back smiling, though I know that feeling will pass.

I'm posting this and calling you out PRIMARILY because I am pissed off but also because chances are I'm not the only person you've done this to. Barring you don't panic-delete off of the internet, maybe other writers will figure that out when they comb over your fics.

Putting the passage the anon mentioned (and another) behind a KR link because they are NSFW passages from E-rated fics.

(This is my fic.)

(This is "their" fic. Fucking lol, where did Joyce come from???)

(My fic again.)

("Their" fic.)