#I dunno about other creative sorts but yeah anything could be a story if you think about it for a few minutes
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My tired brain an Alien pointing a ready at my head "Where does the imagination come from? And where from it go?"
The only response I can think of is "it comes from the brain and goes onto the paper" but I know it also goes to the computer
Yes, it comes from the brain and goes to the paper, and the computer, and the art supplies, and the willing ear of anyone who will listen!
(Where it comes from in the first place is literally everywhere, like a kid with their first camera, taking snapshots of everything.)
#'where do you get your ideas?'#where don't I#I dunno about other creative sorts but yeah anything could be a story if you think about it for a few minutes#especially if you apply magic or future tech#headphones next to me?#could be a sci-fi thing with radio waves from a spaceship#or a fantasy thing with a mimic that's questionably friendly#maybe it's gonna fight the cat the moment my back is turned#can't trust either of them#writer life#asks#I appreciate the sleepy questions#I should also go to bed soon#...eventually
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Fanatic Intervention Part 21!!
AKA Newt and Adam Part II
Rushing to get this up before I need to leave for work, so no edit, no beta. We fall like...like something that falls.
Not ducks.
Okay, let's do this.
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**************************************
Adam had been typing for a while.
He had a laptop set up on Aziraphale’s desk, and was alternating between typing and clicking with the usb mouse he’d brought along. Their first step had taken a day or two – setting up wireless internet in the bookshop. Honestly, Newt wasn’t entirely sure what Aziraphale would think of that when he returned, but Adam had insisted it would make things a lot easier, so Newt had done his part to help (arrange the line to be put in, and stay out of the way while the technician did his work). While Adam sat at the laptop, configuring settings and researching VPN services, Newt had been doing everything he could. He’d paced, started reading a few books, taken a walk, taken a second walk, explored Maggie’s shop, bought treats from Nina’s (Adam had been most appreciative of that), and made countless cups of tea, then popped out to the local co-op to replenish the tea bag supply.
All in all, it had been a long day of helping and Newt was beginning to find himself very tired by the effort.
It wasn’t until late that night when Adam finally set the laptop aside, and asked if they could get something exotic for takeaway. After a bit of debate and a game of paper-rock-scissors, they ended up ordering curry, which was about the most exotic thing that Newt’s British stomach was willing to handle after all the stress of the day. As Newt tidied the dishes afterward, he finally asked what had been on his mind all day.
“So do you think this will actually work?”
Adam shrugged from behind his phone screen. “’Bout as well as anything’s likely to, I reckon.”
Newt wasn’t thrilled with that answer. “Okay, but what do we do if it doesn’t?”
Adam set his phone down and raised an eyebrow at Newt, then sighed thoughtfully and let his eyes wander to the ceiling. “Well,” he began, “Then I just suppose we try something else.”
“Like what?”
“I dunno,” Adam said to the ceiling. He crossed his arms and frowned in consideration. Then he shrugged and sat back up. “I expect we’ll figure that out when we get to it.” He watched Newt’s frown deepen. “If we get to it,” Adam corrected.
“Right,” Newt said doubtfully, “So are we going to try it tonight then?”
“Nah,” Adam replied with a shake of his head, “Gotta let the script finish first.”
“Script? Are you telling me you wrote code? To hack into Heaven?”
“Well yeah,” Adam said, as if it was obvious, “We learn how to code in schools these days you know. I just...used it creatively.”
The sound Newt made conveyed how impressed he was better than any words could. “You,” he said after a moment, “Would be a menace to national security if you ever wanted to be.”
“Tried it already,” Adam said with a smirk, “Wasn’t my thing in the end.”
Newt couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, and thank goodness for that.” He shook his head and put away the last of the dishes before sitting back down at the table. “So are you doing your A Levels in Computer Science then?” He asked.
Adam shrugged. “Well, yeah sort of. Mum and Dad want me to go to Uni for it, but I have other ideas.”
“Like what?” Newt pressed.
“I want to be an author,” Adam said, a small blush crossing his cheeks, “I want to write stories. Lotta good a story can do in the world. An’ I figure that maybe I can inspire people to be better. Save the whales an’ all that.”
Newt smiled. Well if that wasn’t just the most charming thing he’d heard in a while. “I reckon you’d be rather good at that,” he said. Adam looked at him and smiled appreciatively in return.
“Yeah,” he said, “I hope so. Figure it’s worth tryin’ at least.”
And isn’t that just the truth for anything worthwhile in this world.
************************************
The next day they both got up late, but that didn’t stop Adam from rushing to the laptop to check on things while Newt went across the street to grab some sweet buns from Nina. When Newt returned, Adam looked up from the laptop with a satisfied smile.
“It’s ready,” he said. Newt sighed in relief. He’d been half worried that the script would have failed and Adam would have had to have another go at it, but he supposed that Adam probably worried a lot less about that sort of thing than most people.
He set down the box of sticky buns, and went to stand close – but not too close – to Adam. To his surprise, Adam got up from the chair and beckoned Newt to sit down. It took a moment for Newt to register what was happening, before he started stuttering and waving his hands in refusal.
“Oh, oh no Adam, no that’s not a good idea. I really shouldn’t...” Newt trailed off into a strand of mumbled syllables that were all nervousness and no sense.
“It’s okay,” Adam said, “I told it to behave itself.”
The teenage ex-antichrist ushered a very nervous Newt into the chair, and directed him to open the VPN. Newt took a deep breath, put his hand on the mouse, and slowly clicked the icon.
The application opened. Nothing shut down, the power didn’t go out, there were no sparks, there was no fire. It just...opened. It just...worked. Newton Pulsifer, life-long lover of computers who had utterly destroyed every piece of technology he ever touched, had just opened an application on a laptop. Tears sprang to his eyes, and he wiped at them with his sleeve. He couldn’t wait to tell Anathema.
“Sorry,” he sniffed, “It’s just...ah...nevermind, what’s next?” He pushed back against the emotion, he could deal with that later. They had work to do and he had a friend to find. Adam patted his shoulder, and Newt looked over to see Adam was smiling at him kindly.
“It’s alright,” he said, before turning his and Newt’s attention back towards the laptop screen. They spent the next 20 minutes or so going over how to open and use this very special VPN program that Adam had modified to hack past Heaven’s firewalls….or rather, Newt supposed, holy-water-walls? Was that a thing? He supposed it could be. Oh, who cares, he was using a computer successfully for the first time in his life! The world was his oyster, and Heaven too, apparently.
**********************
Muriel heard ringing. They weren’t entirely sure where it was coming from, but they could hear it clear as anything. The scrivener looked up from their work to see that an angel phone had manifested itself on the desk in front of them. Oh, well that hadn’t been there before.
Carefully, Muriel picked up the heavenly device, crystalline and perfect. This kind of device was usually exclusively for use by the archangels, not them, but it was in fact ringing and Muriel had the very specific feeling that it was for them. The angel only hesitated another moment before tapping the screen. The phone came to life, showing Newt and a young boy. Her friend Newt heaved a relieved sigh and smiled.
“Muriel!” he exclaimed, the relief evident in his voice as well, “It’s actually you! It worked!”
“Of course it did,” said the boy next to him, “You do know who you called, right?” Newt laughed in response. Muriel didn’t understand any of it, but they found themselves laughing too and, to their surprise, crying small tears.
“Hello Newt,” Muriel said into the phone, blinking away the tears, “How’ve you been? I’ve missed you all.”
“Muriel,” Newt began again, “Where are you?”
Well, that was odd. Muriel stammered a bit in surprise. “Well, I’m in Heaven of course! I thought Metatron told you!”
“The Metatron?!” replied Newt, “I knew it. Damn. Muriel, I am so sorry. I never should have insisted we leave the bookshop. This is all my fault.”
Muriel shook their head. “No, no it’s alright. Apparently I left Heaven in a proper state! I’ve been buried in paperwork ever since I got back.” They turned the phone around so that Newt could see the large stacks of files that never seemed to get any smaller.
“Um, hullo, Muriel is it?” came the voice of the boy, “My name is Adam, and honestly, I think the Metatron’s been lying to you.”
“What?” Muriel turned the phone screen back so the boy – Adam – could see the confusion on their face. “But...why would he do that? I mean, he’s an angel, I don’t think he can lie.”
“Oh, angels can lie,” Adam replied, “You can trust me on that one.”
“But...I don’t even know who you are,” Muriel said, squinting into the phone. They boy smirked mischievously.
“Honestly, I’m not sure you’d believe me if I told you,” he hesitated before adding, “Or that you’d want to know for that matter. You’re rather the good sort.”
Muriel wasn’t sure what to think about that, but they did know that they were getting frustrated with all of these cryptic messages, the lying, the half-truths, everyone tip-toeing around them as if they were stupid. So, the Angel Muriel, Scrivener 37th Order, Inspector Constable of Earth, steeled their gaze and looked as straight at the boy as the phone would let them.
“Try me.”
****************************************
Getting Muriel to believe that the Metatron had lied was not all that difficult in the end. Newt had told them how worried everyone was. It was harder for them to understand that the ex-antichrist was helpful and kind. In the end, they decided that, now that Muriel was able to communicate, they would stay in Heaven and see if they could feed information to Newt through the VPN. That way, they would hopefully know what the Metatron was up to. But Newt made Muriel Pinky Promise that they would contact him if they were ever in actual danger. When Newt eventually ended the call and disconnected from the VPN, he felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
That is, until an idea struck him. One that sent a bolt of anxiety shooting through his body.
“Oh! Adam!” he said, turning to the teenager, “What do I do when you leave? I mean, you need to take your laptop with you.”
Adam shook his head. “Nah, see this is my old one. It’s yours now, you can keep it.” The boy glanced at the laptop on the desk. “And if it ever gives you any trouble, you just let me know.”
With the last of his worries answered, Newt felt tears in his eyes again, and this time he let them fall.
❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤
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#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#good omens 2#aziracrow lasts forever#aziraphale x crowley#good omens fandom#ineffable fandom#newt#newton pulsifer#adam#adam young#teenage ex-antichrist#muriel#metatron#let's hack into heaven#good omens fanfiction#good omens fanfic#good omens fic#gomens fanfiction#gomens fanfic#fanfiction#fanfiction writers#writers on tumblr#writeblr#come play with us#we're all in this together#cast your vote
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Question: I got to ask Jensen this a few years ago, but you were not there [?] -
Jared: Well that sounded judge-y.
Question: Because Supernatural was on the CW and a regular network, there were standards and practices. How do you think Sam's character or storyline would be changed or been different had it been on, say, HBO?
Jared: That's actually a better question than I think it sounds like. Sorry I wasn't there years ago -
Jensen: What'd I say?
J2: [crack up]
Question: You were onstage with Misha and you both looked puzzled but you went, I'm just trying to say that we're not having sex.
Jensen: That tracks.
Jared: That's the opposite of what I was gonna say -
Question: The entire panel went downhill from there, and I've been blamed for that for years.
Jensen: That also tracks.
Jared: You know what's funny is that I've thought about this, and I wonder what Ackles thinks. We've kind of talked about it here and there over the years, but I - and we talked about this yesterday in the Meet & Greet - I kind of really enjoy that there are guidelines. It's sort of - if you can just do anything? There was a funny interview with -
Jensen: You get The Boys. That's what happens.
Jared: Which is great, but - You kind of have to be more creative within boundaries. That's how I parent, these are the guidelines, these are the rules, this is the box you can't leave, play within it. As opposed to just do anything and everything. And I think you can lose some of the art - and The Boys is amazing. Like The Boys wouldn't work on the CW and -
Jensen: [laughing] No.
Jared: But that's what it is. And, you know, that's what it is. Like, I don't know if, when we come back, I wanna say fuck on a network. But I dunno. It's gonna be a discussion, between he and I - he and me - and among whomever else, but I don't know there's something magical and universal. And, I mean, there were probably a dozen or two dozen children here yesterday that if we're running around naked or saying this that and the other, it might not translate. And hopefully parents wouldn't show that to their kids. Yeah, I don't know. I'm happy, I'm happy with the CW, and also because we have y'all and because of the CW and they let us work through our growing pains, we did fifteen years and I think anywhere else we would have been dead in the water. After Dead in the Water, as a matter of fact.
Jensen: That's right. I think if anything it would be just maybe an elevated gore version of Supernatural. There was a lot of - like I don't think necessarily, y'know, more colorful language or, yknow, more skin or anything like that? I don't think that that would really benefit the story, necessarily. But I think what we could and couldn't show in regards to scare and blood and, y'know, that kinda stuff, we had to temper that. So I think maybe we'd probably elevate that to an extent if we were on a network or a streamer that allowed that to happen, where there weren't standards and practices. But there were - we pushed the envelope. The writers definitely pushed the envelope, like one thing I remember is we couldn't say prick. But we could say dick. So they wrote an entire season with a guy named Dick Roman just so we could hammer that home. And I think that was -
Jared: Wow. We could say hammer as well. [hits forehead on mic repeatedly]
Jensen: That's right. So it's like Jared said, there were ways of trying to push the envelope a bit with staying in the parameters that we had to and those guidelines. And I think as a show that was on a broadcast network we probably took a little bit more of a risk and took some chances, moreso than I think most network shows? And I think that was exciting for us, but I think if there were no parameters and we were able to do just whatever we wanted to, I'm not sure it would be that much different, because I don't know that it would serve the story as well.
Jared: Yeah, if the puzzle has no rules then is it really a puzzle? Y'know? That's a strange question, sorry.
Jensen: [exaggeratedly reacting] What?!
Jared: Have a happy Sunday. I'm saying if someone just gives you a thousand pieces of a puzzle but anything goes anywhere, then who gives a shit? If it's like -
Jensen: What?!
Jared: [exaggeratedly reacts] I love puzzles.
Audience member: We get it!
Jensen: You don't understand! Stop placating him!
Jared: Thank you for your question. Oh, you're still going?
Question: Basically Jensen many years ago you had mentioned at some convention that maybe Dean had had a history of sex work as a child* -
Audience: What.
Jared: You did what?
Jensen: [baffled] Huh?
Question: Someone said it to you, that maybe as a teenager with John being gone a lot, Dean may have resorted to sex work.
Jared: That was probably in jest, if he ever said that, I'm sure it was not a legitimate, like, character backstory.
Jensen: Yeah, no.
Jared: Just speaking for him here, because I think he's a little -
Jensen: [sarcastically] It's too bad we're on a broadcast show, I really think he would have done some teenage sex work. Yikes.
Question: I'm a writer so it sparked ideas -
Jensen: [flatly] Great.
Question: but you know like drug use, other things that maybe you would not mention in the show -
Jared: Thank you for your question.
Jensen: She has a high regard for Dean Winchester, clearly. No, thank you.
Jared: Thank you.
*Someone brought this up as a thing they vaguely remembered a while back here on tumblr and there was a discussion attempting to track down a source. Which eventually only came up with this quote from a 2008 interview [X]
“Dean’s a bit of a pool shark and also a bit of a gambler. It doesn’t really show it all the time, but it’s definitely implied that there are poker games and pool matches that they can win some money on. And who knows? Dean’s a promiscuous kind of guy. Who knows how he drums up the funds that they use?”
Which seems more than a little facetious, and while suggestive? Is not equivalent to what fandom wanted to remember it as. Putting aside how weird it is to ask about an off-the-cuff remark from fifteen fucking years ago even with a source? She's clearly repeating the source-less fandom rumor since she claims it was at "some convention" - because as we all know, fandom is always both accurate and honest about things like that! Even putting all of that aside, which we really shouldn't? It's such a questionable topic to bring up in a convention hall full of people, to J2 who have made it clear several times they want to talk about canon not fanfic. Who literally just finished answering your first question by saying they weren't interested in making the canon any more salacious! Just ... woof.
#j2 gold panel#nashcon 2023#long post#convention drama#secondhand embarrassment meter: off the charts
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i know ur not ok, i wont ask if ur ok, but i hope ur ok :)
You're right though. Haven't been okay in a while.
Dunno what it could be, maybe it's that I've been dragging my feet with 8 because God, I hate this part of the story (not that my own chapter isn't already mostly written for its third part), or if it's the whole Junkie Cat Lady thing wearing me down (I had to drag in two pieces of her most characteristic furniture back into my cramped space: a mirror box end table and a leopard print Ottoman that the cats used to sleep on whenever I catsat them). Or, the fact that I've got nothing left besides my dogs and two are hella old and can just keel over at any given moment, given their age (17+). Yeah, my parents are still around but I think my mother's getting some sort of dementia (I can tell by talking to her), but that's what you get for neglecting the intellectual part of your brain in favor of being a nasty, narcissistic, manipulative cunt your whole life. Figures that would be her goddamn fate...to start to actually forget the shitty things she did to me when I was growing up.
Creatively, I've been writing other stupid crap aside from 8 and Jairo, things that could turn into mini-fic, but I dunno. Re: 8, it's like the more I watch this show, the more the glaring issues with the storyline (and this is barring ALL romantic shipping) POP out at me, nag the fuck out of me and just...ugh. I know, I've already fixed a couple of those throughout my published chapters (like Rowan's disappearing glasses), but looking at it from an objective standpoint, it's just...garbage storytelling with a lot of inconsistencies held together by the cute star of the show. Re: Jairo, I'm once again closer to publishing another Jairo than I am 8, but I just haven't had the energy.
I mentioned the other day that I had gotten new comments/praise for Under Virgin Circumstances over at AO3. And then last night, I had placed my phone into yanno, I had a story about something weird happening but I felt like I was rambling, so the short of that next thing was: Somehow, the Drive app that holds all of my Jairo documents was up and running on this phone even though I hadn't opened it in a couple of weeks.
I'm taking both of those as signs to go back to Benson for a little while. I'm not going to rush through something I care about just because of impatiences (not just the couple of fans it has, but my own...I get very impatient and frustrated with myself, it's disabling), but I really would like to publish something.
That's where I am, I guess. There, and also wanting to create more physical art. I could hardly afford it (finances have been strained ever since Cat Lady fiasco) but I got some cheap art supplies/paint and pencils for my birthday and have some ideas of what I'd like to be doing.
But I also got other needs and a brown furball that never leaves my side these days. I'm still really irritated when I think of that nurse's shitty joke...this little thing is my baby/kiddo. She acts like one. She chatters with me like a toddler when we're out on walks. (One time, she actually said what sounded like "Hello!" to some lady who said "Hi there, cutie!" on the lake and it creeped me out... I've never taught her to speak or anything. She has a weird voice...sounds like a monkey at times.) So, she's getting more of my time too, since I'm now lamenting that I didn't have enough time with her when she was tiny (the time went by SO FAST, she started growing out her limbs in barely two months 😭).
I guess I oughta keep on...keepin' on. I feel like Cairo keeps calling out to me, since all I've been seeing on my fyp has been HOD stuff, then all of a sudden there was that post I just reblogged on there. I should call her. 🫠
Anyway. Thanks for wonderin'. 💕✨
#anon ask#anon answered#nice anon#greyface#tor#tor update kind of#eta something i forgot to say is that#my anxiety has spiked so much that i've resorted to taking old head meds that only make me drowsy all goddamn day#😔😔😔😔😔
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Number 22 off the prompt list with echo or fives with he/him pronouns 😳😳 pls and thank you 🙏🏽
Missing You
Ahh this would be so cute with Echo. May or may not be biased because— I love him with all my heart, but since you offered you get Echo. You are a medic in this because, uh yeah I am SO creative. But anyways, Echo calls you Doc because I dunno how to use cooler nicknames.
Echo x Male!Reader: “I remember practicing to ask you out in the mirror.”
Warnings: It is a little sad because I am kind of in my feels rn. It has its fair share of happy stuff though, don’t worry.
You were a medic, that often worked along side Kix in the Medbay. The first time you and Echo met he was in with a blaster shot to the leg. It wasn’t anything that you couldn’t help in healing, though. Taking over for Kix as he tended to one of his other brothers.
You were calm and collected. Starting conversation with the man to distract him from the pain as you disinfected and then patched up his wounds. Eyes flickering up to look to him when he would wince and tense up. Though he gave you a look that said, ‘I’m fine, keep going.’ So you did.
Echo always requested to have you helping him. Claiming that you were more gentle than his brother was. Which you were, in some ways, but honestly he just wanted an excuse to hear your voice. To be near you. After a few visits, he would start looking for you when he knew you weren’t working. Go out of his way to walk with you to your quarters, or to the mess. Or to wherever you were going. It made your day. You absolutely loved it. He was so kind, and thoughtful. He listened to you, let you talk, and even shared stories with you on the days that you weren’t really in the mood to hold a solid conversation.
But now? Now that was all gone. Now you wouldn’t be seeing him in the medbay, or the mess, or bump into him in the halls. You wouldn’t be able to sit in your quarters with him and eat some of the snacks you snuck in for him from the last mission that you were needed out on the field. He wasn’t able to bring you trinkets from the planets that he visited. None of that was able to happen again. All you had was your memories.
Your damned memories that seemed to be slowly fading after months went by without him. You were beginning to forget how he laughed. Sure his brothers shared the same laugh, but something about his was unique. You were beginning to forget little details, and it upset you more than anything. The others in the 501st could tell, too. They all knew you and Echo were close. Even Fives could see that the two of you wanted to be more than friends. It wasn’t rocket science. So, the moment Rex found out that Echo could be alive. He made it his mission to not only save him for Echo, but for you as well.
Echo wasn’t the only trooper that loved your smile and your kind heart. So he hoped if he got him back for you. Even the closure of his body, then it would finally put you at ease.
You weren’t told about any of this. Not until you heard troopers talking about how they found a POW. You were curious, to say the least. Finding one of the shines that was talking about it with his brothers. “Who was the prisoner?” You asked with a brow raised. You had lost so many men, so many friends after Echo, that you never believed it would be him. Though a piece of you, deep down. Screamed and shouted in hopes that they would say his name or number.
“An Arc Trooper, sir, went by the name of Echo. They’re bringing him back here with Clone Force 99.” The shiny informed you, and you felt your heart stop. Your eyes were darting around. Breathing picking up a bit, this was a joke, wasn’t it? It had to be. Rushing off past the men to find someone to fill you in on what in stars name was happening.
You sooner or later ended up getting a hold of General Skywalker. He could tell you were distressed. “What sort of sick joke is this?” You spat, starting in before Anakin could even get a word in. “The shinies are talking about how Echo is alive? That’s impossible. I was there when the explosion happened, he’s not, why are they saying this?” You were on the verge of tears as you paced your quarters. Running your hands through your hair. “Oh, he’s alive alright. Why don’t you come outside?” He spoke with a smirk. Anakin knew about your feelings for Echo, and you knew he didn’t mind. He was supportive, even. Anakin always treated you like the little brother he never had, and told you to go for it a number of times. Though you never did, and you greatly regret it.
“Y/n, just come outside and see for yourself.” You were brought back to the conversation. Biting your bottom lip and hanging up on the general. Rushing out the door and down the hall. Until you were exiting the hanger and finding a group of people gathered around.
Your stomach was turning. Heart pounding in your chest. Then the world felt like it froze when you saw him. He was talking with a group that you knew had to be Clone Force 99. You knew it had to be Echo, his armor didn’t match theirs. He looked like a clone, at least. If it was, he looked horrible. But not in a way that you still didn’t want him just as bad as you did nearly a year ago.
You were stuck in place, waiting for him to turn, and when he did. His eyes fell on you. His expression dropped, and he froze up as well. “Cyare..” You watched his lips mouth. Your eyes tearing up, it was him. It was Echo. Your Echo.
You started with a fast walk, and then a jog over to the other. Him moving towards you nearly just as fast. The two of you extending your arms and then engulfing one another in a hug. Something the two of you missed more than you could both remember. “Echo, I- Are you okay? oh my force I’ve missed you so much-“ You sobbed as you burried your face in his neck and he rested his forehead on your shoulder. “I’ve missed you so much, too, Doc, not a day went by I didn’t think about you.” He murmured, and that made the dam break. Tears falling from your eyes in streams.
You were at a loss for words, the two of you holding onto one another for what felt like forever, but honestly it wasn’t long enough. “You’ve changed your hair?” He muttered, reaching up to run his fingers through your hair with his good hand. It was longer than the last time the two of you saw each other. “You changed yours, too.” You murmured. Reaching up and running your fingers over the top of his head. Causing the two of you to snicker a bit.
You both parted slightly so Echo could rest his forehead on your own. His eyes, unlike his skin. Were still bright and had some life in them. Your hand falling to cup his face with a small smile. “Y/n?” You raised your brows a bit. His voice was soft, and stars you missed him saying your name. You missed his voice in general. “Yeah?” You spoke in a near whisper. Shuddering a bit as his hand ran to cup the back of your neck.
He looked nervous. Eyes darting to the side and then back to yours. Gulping, even. “Echo, what is it?” You asked again, and he sighed. “I know, I just got back, but I don’t wanna waste my chance, not now, not ever. Never again,” You stared at him, creasing your brows. What was he saying? “I want to take you on a date, just the two of us, I don’t know where, but.. Kriff, Y/n I like you, and I have since the first time I met you. I maybe even love you, you were what kept me going, you kept me fighting. Because I knew you would be there when I got back. Even if you got into a relationship with someone else, you would be there for me, like old times.”
You were tearing up again, and you could see the panic in his eyes when another tear drop rolled down your cheek. “You do-“ You couldn’t speak, for you knew you would just break down. Which would scare him more. So you reached up and cupped his face with both hands now. Pulling him in for a kiss. Interrupting whatever he was about to say.
The kiss was soft, Echos hand stiffening, then relaxing. Along with his lips. Both your guys’ eyes falling shut as he moved his arms down to wrap around your torso. This was when you felt the metal of his other arm. Making you even more angry and upset. They hurt him so bad, but that didn’t change how you felt about him.
The two of you parting after some time. Huffing out breaths as you both tried to steady your breathing and racing hearts. Even though you were both on cloud nine. “I remember practicing to ask you out in the mirror.” Echo blurted. You looking to him with a shocked expression. “You did?” You asked, and he smiled shyly. Looking down towards the ground. “Yeah.. I did, Fives was tired of hearing me talk about you all day, so he told me to take it like a real one and ask you on a date, so I would talk to myself in the mirror.” He spoke, catching your eyes again.
Your gaze softened on him, and the mention of Fives pained you. You were going to have to tell him about what happened, it was the right thing to do, but it wouldn’t be now. That was a conversation for another time. “Yeah? Well, it paid off in the end.” You hummed, and he tittered. Kissing your forehead with a sigh as you leant agains him. “Yeah, yeah it did.”
#star wars#echo deserves the world#bad batch x reader#star wars writing#the bad batch#the clone wars#writing#clone x reader#echo x reader#echo x male!reader#clone x male!reader#arc trooper echo x reader#arc trooper echo
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you got an ego so big (it'll eat you alive).
roman-centric hurt/comfort (w/ remus, patton and virgil).
11.7k words | AO3 link | warnings: self-hatred, semi-intentional self-destruction, various injuries, arguing, remus-typical jokes and topics.
“At the best of times, Roman’s job was a tightrope act between maintaining a healthy amount of self-confidence and the ability to adapt and take criticism. Throughout his life he walks this line many times, always with the expectation that if he were to fall one way or the other, no one would be there to catch him.
But sometimes when you’re up miles high, it can become difficult to see the safety net on the ground below you.
(aka an expansion on the premise that a bruised ego causes literal injuries and the issues this could cause when you're an insecure prince with a need to please and the weight of the world on your shoulders).”
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To be overly aware of your own self is often associated with negative traits, such as narcissism, self-consciousness or a sensitivity to mistakes. Although to some with a proclivity towards the spotlight, it can become an inadvertent consequence of over-analyzing yourself in order to achieve those flawless performances. Naturally, gaining any sort of notoriety and attempting to retain that positive image means becoming intimately aware of your faults and staying open to change, taking criticism to heart all the while keeping relatably humble. On the other hand, it may also mean letting that same criticism become your one sole focus, tearing you down instead of becoming a rung in the ladder that's supposed to take you to higher places.
Roman often found that navigating these gray areas was a momentous task. To be proud of his work, but not be too unbearably egotistical to the point that it blinded him. To accept criticism but not allow the pursuit of perfection to destroy him.
His role was truly a balance; a thin tightrope he constantly had to traverse.
And on occasion, he would end up slipping.
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I - bonds that tie us.
Roman first learned of his job as the ego when Thomas was young. With Remus at the helm of most of the subconscious and instinctual stuff as his id, perhaps he should've assumed that he would have a similar mirrored purpose beyond simply confidence, however it hadn't ever really come into play until one afternoon when the two of them were busy playing in The Imagination.
They had just concluded a close duel against each other and were putting their weapons away (cardboard ones, since Feelings didn't want them running around with real weapons once he found out they were using them to fight, and because Fear and Lies often fretted about them doing something stupid and getting hurt). Usually neither of them held the lead for long during their matches since they were so well-matched, but today Remus had won easily, which Roman chalked up to him feeling off ("Yeah right. Don't be such a sore loser." "It's true!"). Either way, Remus would be bragging about the victory until the next time they got the opportunity to duel, and that meant he was already rubbing it in as they prepared to leave.
On their way to the exit, Remus had taken the lead at some point and was throwing out ideas about they should do later when Roman unexpectedly paused and doubled over, clutching his head. Remus didn't notice that he'd stopped until he heard a groan and turned around.
"What's wrong? Didn't hit you too hard, did I?" He asked with a grin as if he assumed that Roman was still playing- perhaps trying to make up an excuse for his terrible loss.
"I- Dunno. My head hurts…" Roman cringed, eyes screwed shut.
Remus' smile faltered when he realized it might not be a joke and he walked back, peeling Romans hands away from his forehead. Underneath was a large red patch of irritated skin which looked set to bruise. His frown deepened because he definitely didn't cause that, nor did he witness any incidents during the day which would be the cause. "How'd that happen?
"Dunno!" He repeated, eyes going blank for a moment while he caught up with what was happening outside. The two of them were usually much too distracted when they were in The Imagination to pay attention to everything that transpired in the real world, especially on weekdays like this when Thomas would be in school and Creativity wasn't exactly needed during most classes. "...Thomas was told off for slacking in front of the entire class and he got some bad grades on his report card… He's feeling embarrassed, I think.
Remus was confused by how this was relevant until he pieced together that the two events were linked to what was happening to his brother. His eyes widened in realization before they settled into determination. "Then I'll fight him until he stops feeling bad."
That startled a laugh out of Roman, until his head started pounding and he cut himself off with a grimace. "...’Can't do that."
He laughed too, in hopes that it would lift Roman's spirits again. "Can too! I'll figure it out, then he'll be too busy worrying about his broken bones to care about what some dumb teacher said. Maybe then he'll get to skip school for a while and do something funner like-"
"Remus." Roman hissed over him, overcome with a sudden dizzy spell. His hand found Remus’ shoulder for purchase, which stopped his twin in his rant.
Remus stared at him in alarm. This seemed serious, and he didn't do too well with handling serious things. "Do... Do you want me to get Feelings? Or Learning? Or Lies?"
"No. None of them. I just wanna go home." He whined, leaning more and more against Remus for support.
' Home' in their case was what they called their shared room. It was where they always returned to at the end of a long day, and no matter what had happened, they could always feel their troubles wash away as they sat in their own little world once more. Roman longed for that feeling, to escape the too-bright sun of The Imagination which now felt like it was blinding him and just lay down for a while.
Remus nodded hesitantly, the plans he had spun of pulling a prank on Fear and Lies forgotten. Normally the two Creativities preferred to find the door of The Imagination manually (they claimed it made the experience more immersive when they were out on an adventure), but instead he reached towards the exit and the world twisted around them, ejecting them out together. They came out the other side back in their room, next to their bunk bed. Instead of climbing up to his bed on the top, Roman just about threw himself onto Remus' sheets. Somehow he managed to ignore the weird smell of the fabric that he always complained about, which spoke greatly about his current well-being.
Remus hovered behind him, unsure of what to do, when Roman let out another pained noise and curled up tighter. "What now?!"
"Thomas...parents.
Since that didn't really explain anything, Remus decided to check up on what was happening outside himself. Thomas' parents had asked to see his report card and they were giving him the 'not mad but disappointed talk', while Thomas was shrunk into himself in shame. Yikes, Learning mustn't be feeling too hot about this either. But right now his focus was on his brother, who the sight of in such a sorry state filled him with rage.
"Now I want to fight them too." Remus muttered darkly. "Take the knife from the kitchen that dad uses to cut up turkeys and make them stop talking forever. Then we won't have to deal with this again and you won't-"
Oh right, Roman was still injured. Focus, Remus. Concern. Right, he was concerned for his brother, who was hurting like he had never seen, even after their fights. What could he do about this? He was always so much better at destroying things than fixing them, so having to deal with a situation like this without any sort of guidance made him nervous.
"You can't hurt them." Roman protested weakly.
"Maybe if I want to enough I could!"
Remus walked around the bunk bed and settled down on the side Roman was facing towards. From this angle he could see new bruises spattered along his brother's arms. In a grotesque way, the different shades came together like a watercolour painting. Except instead of a canvas, they were on a body- Remus shook his head. Focus! He could draw sickly yellow and purple-inspired pictures later, when Roman would be in the mood to be more good-humored about it.
"You shouldn't, then. It's bad."
"...Alright then. What should I do Ro-bro?"
Roman cracked open one eye and looked at him. "Stay? Until Thomas feels better?"
Considering he was just grounded for the weekend, Remus wasn't sure how long it would take for this hit to Thomas' self esteem to blow over, but despite knowing this he nodded anyway.
"Okay."
He laid down next to Roman, not commenting when he hid his face against the covers and started sniffling, or when he eventually fell asleep, curled against his side like how they would sleep when they were newly-split. When Learning knocked in their door to tell them that dinner was ready, he made a weak excuse that they were busy and would eat later.
Without even asking he knew Roman would want this to be kept between them, despite how the others would undoubtedly fuss and nurse him back to health. And perhaps that was the reason why. His brother always wanted to appear infallible to the others and did so replicating the heroes from the stories they read, which often meant refusing to admit when he needed help and trying to do everything himself. If you asked Remus, he was trying way too hard to be like the Creativity that came before them, which was silly because they were different now and as they were, they needed each other.
Remus closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep too. This seemed like a big deal, so Roman's pride would have to pass eventually for him to seek help. Right?
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II - even without dying you're dead to me.
In retrospect, Remus had underestimated Roman’s ability to keep a secret (maybe because he was so quick these days to run over to Feelings, now Morality, whenever Remus did something to upset him. Tattle-tale).
Now that they were older and their roles were more defined, their once shared-room had separated into two to adjust to this change. Even though it had been long enough that he should be used to the feeling of being alone, there were still times where Remus had to try to not let it bother him when he looked up at night, expecting to see the familiar underside of a top bunk and instead only finding the ceiling he had painted an underwater-themed mural on.
On nights like this, far too sentimental to enter a peaceful rest, they would go sleep in each other's rooms, saying nothing as they tried to pretend they were as close as they once were. Remus groaned into his pillow, fighting that annoying urge to seek comfort. He was a teenager now, he didn't want to be so attached at the hip to a side who had started looking at him with disgust and fear instead of the fondness they used to share. Sometimes he couldn't help it though, clinging to the days when everything felt simple and the biggest thing they had to worry about was finding time to create the things they enjoyed. At the very least he was glad that Roman didn't mock him for his occasional bouts of uncharacteristic sentiment; that would solidify for him that there were no remnants of the relationship they once had left.
With that depressing thought, he rolled out of bed. He couldn't sleep tonight so he was going to make that Roman's problem; that always cheered him up. Perhaps if he hadn't made such a disturbed face when Remus had talked about the brazen bull he had made earlier that day, he would feel a bit more sympathy for waking his brother up in the middle of the night. Buuut he didn't and he was feeling petty, so without a second thought he sunk out and into Romans room.
"WAKEY WAKEY~!" Remus clashed two cymbals together like one of those nightmare-inducing wind-up monkeys, only to belatedly realize the bed he was facing was empty.
He blinked, both in confusion and to adjust his eyes to the unexpected light of the room. Both of them may be night owls, but Roman would usually be asleep by 2am at least, and it was way past that hour. Looking around the room, his eyes latched onto the vanity where his brother was sitting, looking incredibly startled from the deafening crash of metal against metal.
"Get out!" He yelled once his shock faded into indignation, glaring at Remus.
Remus didn’t respond, staring at the medical supplies spread across the surface. Roman was in the middle of wrapping a compression bandage around his thigh, which he abandoned as soon as Remus had entered.
"Did you get something stuck in your ear again? I'm not in the mood to deal with you tonight, Remus. Leave ."
"What happened?" He blurted out before he could even think about the question.
"Doesn't matter. In case you've forgotten, the door's right there. Feel free to use it at any point."
Instead of complying (because when had Remus ever done that for anyone? No no, it was always more exciting to do the opposite of what people ask and see what happens), he crossed the room, ignoring how Roman increasingly looked like he wanted to punch him the longer he lingered.
"Bitch, it obviously does matter, otherwise you wouldn't be looking like you got trampled by a cracked-out horse."
"Lovely imagery." Roman gritted out.
"Lovely avoidance." Remus retorted sarcastically. "Aren't you best friends with Morality and Logic now? Why aren't they here sucking your d-"
"If you don't go back to your own room I'll run you through with my sword." Roman warned with an air of finality.
Remus snorted.
It was hard to be intimidated by the same side who had once cried when he had accidentally smashed an imaginary caterpillar cocoon with his morning star. In his defense he had forgotten to make the handle weighted when he first made it, so he was still getting used to the uneven distribution of the weapon...not like that stopped Roman from getting upset with him. Supposedly he had spent the last week trying to raise butterflies and wanted to show them off to Logic after they had learned about chrysalis in class, but Remus found that somewhat laughable considering he could just create a fully-formed butterfly if he wanted to. So he did laugh, calling him dumb for getting upset over nothing, and through tears Roman pushed him to the ground and told him he hated him for the first time. (After that, he may have spent the next week killing any butterflies that crossed his path, but that was neither here nor there. The point of this tangent provided a lá Remus Sander's brain was was that Roman could be a big baby and therefore he couldn't take anything he said too seriously.)
"Sounds like a good time! Save that idea for later though, because if you don't tell me I'll summon them over here to ask them myself."
"Don't. They don't know about this, alright? For once in your life can you just let it go?"
Huh. Remus tilted his head. It had been years since they first found out about the fun little quirk Roman had, and he just...never told? He figured at the very least it would be a good way to milk even more attention from the others; something Creativity had been seeking more often after Fear turned into Anxiety during middle school and gained a much larger role in Thomas' life. "Why?"
Roman huffed in frustration. "They don't need to. I can handle it myself."
"...Wow! Careful not to summon Lies, because you're full of shit and you know it." Remus fired back. He didn't even know why he was getting so mad. Minutes ago he was cursing his brother's guts for how their relationship had soured, and now all of a sudden it was if all of that dislike had faded into the background for something else. Concern? He hadn't felt concern for anything in years. Roman always made it seem like he could take care of himself, so that's what Remus had believed at first too, though perhaps stumbling across this situation was evidence of the opposite. Reasonable self-care didn't exactly look like 'patching yourself up at 4 in the morning'. At least, that sounded like something Lies would say which probably meant it was accurate.
"Ugh- Shut up. I've been doing just fine so far, without you or them, so you can take your fake pity and shove it up your you-know-where."
Remus didn't rise to the opportunity to poke fun at that statement, his mind going blank (and what a strange and unusual feeling that was). The idea that anything could have been hidden from him seemed unthinkable given how they used to tell each other everything. He hadn't even considered that that habit had become one-sided, given how it had never stopped being true for him. "...Roman, what does that mean? Has this been happening a lot?"
"..."
"Why did you never tell me?! This isn't something you can just keep a secret! If you won't say anything I will-
Remus' mouth snapped shut as Roman ejected him from his room. He landed back on his own bed and when he scrambled onto his feet to tried to rise up again, he found that his efforts were blocked. Roman had kicked him out and locked the door behind him. He never did that, no matter how much they fought or annoyed each other. It was the one thing they did that showed they still cared.
Remus trembled with adrenaline and shock. Taking his pillow, he summoned a knife and stabbed it and stabbed it and stabbed it until all of his pent up feelings were gone and there all that was left was the fluff covering his floor.
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III - interlude.
As it turns out, he'd never get the opportunity to tell, because shortly after that, the newly appointed 'dark sides' were pushed away into their own corner of the mindscape after an explosive argument between the sides (during which Remus tried to ignore how closely Roman stood at Morality's side, sword brandished towards him. He didn't want to think his twin had a hand in their separation, even though it made so much sense).
When he argued about going back with Lies, now Deceit after being appointed the new leader of the unwanted and unloved, he was told through clenched teeth and pained eyes that he shouldn't. Not until Thomas was ready for him. For all of them.
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IV - to the death of me, i'm just fulfillin' my destiny.
After that, Roman adjusted, and did so alone. Teenage years came with many challenges, ones he didn’t always escape unscathed. Despite the occasional rejection here, an unfortunate setback there, he felt as if he had grown a thicker skin for the trials they faced. Into adulthood he wore his ego like a suit of armor; Thomas was outgoing and likable, so of course it became easier to brush aside random negative experiences as minor blips, things that didn’t represent their worth.
This was challenged somewhat as he began pursuing creative outlets more seriously. This meant more work for Roman in general (Woo! Suck it Logan), but it also came with more opportunities to feel ashamed of a messed-up performance, embarrassed by a note sung wrong, hurt by an ill-intentioned piece of feedback.
So he tried to compensate at times. Sue him. Between the nights he spent nursing his wounds and wondering how to do better next time, perhaps he deserved to be a little self-congratulatory about the shining achievements he won for them. There was a certain safety in placing himself up on that pedestal, so high above that it felt like nobody could ever reach him; that he was above it all. But the reality was that this pedestal, gold-plated as it may be, was founded on an interior of paper mache, one wrong move from away from collapsing and sending him tumbling back down to earth.
It was a good thing that pretending came naturally to Roman. So natural that the fear of falling sometimes didn’t register with him at all.
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V - the calamitous corollary of being considered.
Except, it may have been too much to expect nobody to ever realize there was something up with him. The fact that the sides had to work closely together alone meant that the excuse of being busy after every troubling experience could only work for so long.
The first one to find out was Patton, because of course it was. Sometimes Roman felt as if Patton wasn’t given enough credit for his intelligence. Even though he could be a tad slow on the uptake on other things, his ability to detect the slightest change in mood and discern how people were feeling could be uncanny at times. Emotions just happened to be Patton's strong suit, and while that was very much appreciated when it came to sharing excitement or talking through a heated problem, it was not so grand when you were trying to get away with hiding something.
The first time he let something slip was a few days after Thomas had been flat-out rejected when asking someone out on a date. It wasn't that big of a blow, considering they had barely known the guy for more than a month, but Roman had been insistent that they throw caution into the wind and give it a shot, sure that he had been receiving signals that proved that this guy felt a similar interest. Turns out, he didn't, and was very-much straight. At least the rejection had been somewhat carried out gently and he didn't seem too put-off about staying friends afterwards. Nonetheless the wound was still fresh, and Thomas kept internally cringing whenever he thought about it, which didn't help matters. Whatever. Roman dealt with the bruises that arose from the incident and dabbed a little foundation on the ones he couldn't hide with clothing. They'd get over it in a matter of weeks.
It was after the awkward feelings had finally begun to settle when it happened. Roman and Patton had been in the kitchen preparing dinner when Thomas received a message on his phone, and when he went to check it, he face-planted on the couch in mortification.
'Hey man, I just remembered that my cousin is coming to town this weekend. He's gay too so I thought you two could go on a blind date if you're still looking. :) Lmk your thoughts.'
Patton frowned upon sensing the sudden wave of embarrassment, pausing to check what had happened. "Well...That's thoughtful of him!" He chuckled, tone trying and failing to be positive. Roman couldn't share the same sentiment.
"Thoughtless is more like it! He wants to set us up with the first gay person he knows? Who's not even in the city? Does he think Thomas has no standards at all?! How dare-" Roman's indignant protests cut off as he felt the skin around his collar grow tender and swell slightly. He let out a slight whimper when he pressed his fingers into the bruise to double check its location. Why now and in such a visible place?! He's going to get Thomas to drop that guy if it's the last thing he does-
"Ro! Are you okay?"
Right. Patton was still here. Don't panic.
"Y-yeah! I just remembered an injury I sustained earlier. But not to worry, 'tis but a flesh wound!" He joked.
"A flesh wound?!" Patton cried, reference flying over his head. "Let me see."
Gently, Patton moved his head upwards to get a better look at the bruise. It mustn't look good, because Patton, squeamish as he was, grimaced on sight.
"How on earth did that happen? I don't remember that being there just now."
"Uh." Come on Creative skills, work your magic. "A stray whomping willow in The Imagination? You know how they can be. I suppose it merely took a while to develop, bruises can be funny like that."
Luckily it seemed to work, because Patton sighed. "I thought you got rid of them all after that time one almost threw Logan into a lake. Did Remus make more?"
Heh. Good times. That was a slight lie on his behalf when he had told the others he had gotten rid of the trees; he had kept a few of them around because they were once a gift from Remus to quote 'spice up his boring forests'. Not for any sentimental reasons, of course, but because he thought it was funny and it kept him on his toes. "I guess."
Patton made a small 'tsk' noise, mouth still drawn in a frown but he didn't comment further. "Come on, I'll help you treat that. Does it hurt?"
"Of course not." He smiled. "Do you really think I could be bested by a mere tree?"
"Never! I do wish you were more careful when you go on your little adventures, though. It makes me awfully sad to think about you in 'pine'."
Roman knew it had been a flimsy excuse and even though Patton seemed to accept it, there was a hesitation in his eye which spoke of hidden disbelief. After some first aid and many more tree-related puns later, they went back to cooking, finishing up 30 minutes later. When Logan came down to dinner, immediately questioning the bandages around Roman's neck, he repeated the fake story, distracting him with a request not to go into The Imagination with the whomping willow around and packaging the thinly-veiled jab at the way Logan had once freaked out when he was swung around by the semi-sentient tree as a warning. Logan's concern quickly faded and he shot back a sharp retaliation that Roman didn't care to remember. He just laughed, feeling as light as a kite with the crisis averted.
The next time didn't go over as gracefully.
Thomas had found a different partner eventually, one that wasn't some friend's cousin. They dated for months, and just when he had been thinking about inviting his boyfriend to move in so he could be closer to his workplace, he'd been broken up with. On Valentines Day of all days. There was no better way of putting it; they had planned to go out to dinner, managing to book a table at a fairly classy restaurant, exchanged gifts, and near the end of the night his boyfriend had leaned across the table with a sad smile, thanking him for the evening before admitting he didn't see them working out anymore. He said it quietly, as to not cause a scene among the other diners, but that didn't stop Thomas from immediately bursting into tears. The scene had caused his (now ex) boyfriend to leave early after paying his half of the bill. At least the waitress had taken pity on him and brought over more complimentary bread rolls (which he took because he was not a complete fool, heartbroken as he may be), though even that didn't stop the confusion and embarrassment of it all.
As expected, the whole incident caused nothing but chaos; the right-brain sides were devastated, Anxiety was in a state of panic, and Logic had been metaphorically thrown out the window. As Thomas made his way home, they were at a complete loss for what to do. They had started the day, hoping to take a step forward in their relationship, and ended up with nothing at all. What worse is that they didn't even have a clear idea why (admittedly, that could have been due to, as mentioned before, the inconsolable crying).
It seemed like the most sensible thing to do at the moment was to throw the Valentines gifts away and gorge on the ice-cream that had been sitting in the back of the freezer for who-knows how long while watching a comfort show and trying to forget the whole evening. So that's what they did. As Logan tried to sort through what happened and rationalize what to do next, Patton wallowed in his misery as he dealt with the giant mix of feelings Thomas was going through.
After a few hours working through the brunt of it, enough to where his mind began wandering elsewhere, Patton realized with a start that he hadn't seen Roman since the start of the evening. He must have been so devastated too! Patton recalled how excited he was about the day ahead of them, how he spun fantasies of Thomas' boyfriend accepting the proposal to move in and then the future proposals that could come after that-
Patton mournfully sobbed. He needed to stop thinking about this, or else Thomas could start spiraling again. The best thing to do right now was distract himself, and to do that he should go check on Roman. Perhaps they could talk and have a mutual catharsis over the whole thing. Or better yet, he could put his energy towards someone else and he won't have to fall back into the thoughts that had been clouding his mind ever since they had left that stupid restaurant.
Splashing some water on his face to clear up some of the blotchy-ness, he left his room and crossed the hallway towards Roman's. He couldn't hear any noise coming from inside, so he tentatively knocked. "Kiddo?"
For a few moments there was silence, and Patton almost turned away, assuming that Roman might be blowing off some steam in The Imagination, until a voice cleared inside the room and answered. "Pat? What do you want?"
Patton was taken aback for a second, not expecting such a straight-forward answer. It almost sounded like Roman wasn't upset at all, but Patton sincerely doubted that to be true. His tone was almost too normal, and for anybody else he wouldn't have questioned it, but the lack of dramatics or flowery language was always a clear red flag for the Creative side. "I wanted to check on you since um- You-Know-Who took 'dine and dash' a tad too seriously." He chuckled humorlessly. "...Can I come in?"
There was some shuffling and muffled curses. "Why? I'm fine. Worry about yourself."
"'Why?'" He repeated, eyeing the door warily. "I'm concerned! I haven't seen you in hours and I- I know you must be upset about this too. Can we please talk?"
"I'm not exactly my most princely presentable self right now. Anyway, it's late. Surely this can wait until tomorrow?"
Patton looked down at himself. Instead of his usual garb, he had thrown on some more comfortable clothes hours ago, and they were currently crumpled from laying in bed, sobbing his eyes out. "I'm hardly my best-self either right now, Kiddo-" Before he could go on a spiel about how it was best to not bottle up emotions when they're fresh (and ignoring the hypocrisy of that sentiment), he heard a thump on the other side of the door followed by a quiet hiss of pain. Patton began to panic, and his hand flew to the handle. "I'm coming in!"
Before the other side could even consider protesting, Patton flung the fortunately unlocked door open and stepped into the room, gasping at the sight he was met with. Roman was on the floor, wincing as he clutched his leg. Although he was still dressed in his usual outfit, there were enough injuries on his visible skin that Patton could only wonder how far they went. He covered his mouth and stared in horror as Roman turned to look at him nervously.
"What- How did this happen?!"
Roman licked his dry lips, eyes darting away as he searched for an excuse. "I- The Imagination- This is from earlier-"
"You told me this morning you were going to spend the day helping Thomas write a love letter." Patton said, voice strained with panic and disbelief. "Tell me the truth, please."
Shoot, he had announced his plans earlier that day, hadn't he? He internally cursed his inability to keep his mouth shut, before lowering his head in defeat. "Can you keep a secret, Pat?"
Said side shifted uncomfortably, but his tone was resolute when he nodded. "If it means you'll let me help with whatever this is."
"Okay..." Roman inhaled. "Okay."
And then he explained. Or rather, gave a shortened version of the truth which was less likely to give Patton a complete heart-attack: that bruised egos were something he experienced, but it was never this bad (true) or all that common (also true), and that they weren't something to worry about because he could usually take care of them himself (technically true). By the time he had finished, Patton still looked concerned, but had become less frantic with the information.
"You'll let me help in the future if you need it, right?" He asked, so close to shedding tears that Roman had trouble keeping eye-contact without becoming choked up with guilt.
"If I need it." He agreed.
Finally, Patton smiled, and went to fetch the first-aid kit hastily. As he helped patch him up for the second time that year, the look in Patton's eyes was so pained that Roman vowed to let him see this side of him as little as possible.
For a while, he kept true to this promise to himself, and on the occasions when Patton would drop by to check if everything was alright, if Roman had encountered any bruised egos since, he relished in the relief on his face whenever he would lie and said he hadn't. Distantly he wondered sometimes if this was how heroes were supposed to feel; protecting people by letting them live in blissful ignorance and bearing the burden of the ugly truth alone.
(It was thoughts like that that kept him going.)
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VI - high highs and low lows.
And then came the videos. Youtube had been an excellent ego-boost for Roman. Similar to how life-changing Vine was, the instant gratification of likes and feedback and people liking what they made was enough to send him over the moon, and oftentimes it was able to ward away the downsides that came with it too; the stress of staying relevant, the occasional hate comment, the portion of dislikes that didn't explain what about the video was dislike-worthy-
Overall it seemed like a great idea, especially when the sides became involved. It gave them all the chance to gain their own spotlights, which most of them appreciated. Sometimes this wasn't always so good though. With the videos came more introspection than usual, which meant deeply examining each problem to try to find some kind of moral. And right now, Roman didn't want to do any sort of thinking exercise about how badly he messed up. At this point in their career, a simple audition should have been a cake walk, instead it was an ache walk...Okay, admittedly he wasn't on his best game right now. The point was, he had potentially thrown the whole audition by forgetting something so simple as the lyrics, and now the casting director would definitely only remember Thomas by the way he froze under pressure, which wasn't exactly an appealing trait in somebody looking to go up on stage where the pressure was set to 100.
After everything was said and done, Roman had no choice but to approach Patton for help. In his current state, he was much too dizzy on his feet to even contemplate showing up and trying to play it off cool, which would've been an laughable endeavor anyhow considering how outwardly embarrassed Thomas was. Betrayal from his own-- well. It was a bit too harsh to blame his current predicament on Thomas, after all the fact of the matter was that it was Roman’s fault for not being better prepared.
Anyway, that's how he ended up in his current position, being swaddled in a too-warm bed, injuries patched up and having soup spoon-fed into his mouth. The whole thing felt...strange. Usually during times like this he would be grinning and bearing it, the inner satisfaction he got from fooling everyone with his performance pushing him through the day, but he supposed this was unavoidable. It was better that only one side had to see part of the problem rather than exposing it to everyone, and out of all of them, at least it was Patton. It still didn't sit well that his secret was now out in the open, a throwaway joke to be used before moving along, but hopefully that would play to his favor and they'd view it as his usual dramatics. Not like he preferred to be seen as too incompetent to care for himself, even if it fit with his persona. He supposed it just went without saying that princes are supposed to have someone at their every beck and call, they're supposed to be indulgent and spoiled and ridiculous. But princes were also supposed to be leaders, someone who was caring and brave and ready to face any challenge.
Roman sighed, a wave of self-loathing washing over him. He didn't feel very princely at all right now.
“Kiddo, are you doing okay? Does something hurt? Is the soup too hot?” Patton asked, eyebrows drawing together in concern. He was such an open book when it came to the other sides, which meant that Roman knew exactly when he had worried or panicked the fatherly figure. Honestly, it only made him feel worse. Being doted over seemed like a good idea until it meant being the subject of pity and other people’s hurt.
“No no, I’m fine Padre. It’s fine. I was just taking a trip into thought city for a second there.” He cracked a smile, trying to ignore how the bruise at the corner of his mouth pulled at the motion. If only he could think of a more original nickname, perhaps that would be more convincing. He was simply drawing blanks today it seemed. “What do you think the others are up to right now? I’d bet 5 bucks Logan is losing his mind having to deal with Anxiety alone.”
Patton didn’t look entirely convinced, but the sudden change of subject encouraged him to stop any further questioning.
In the end they talked until the others had finished filming. Whatever happened during the discussion must have helped Thomas grow past his feelings, because one-by-one the injuries on Roman's body grew smaller until they had faded entirely. Seeing this, Patton noticeably livened up again, and he cheerily declared that he would take the empty bowl back to the kitchen and check in with the others.
As soon as he was gone, Roman’s face dropped, tired from all the smiling he had been doing, and he slid down further into the sheets. Perhaps he should consider himself fortunate that the others had helped out, but all he could think about was how they now knew about his biggest weakness and how embarrassing that was. Logan and Anxiety were the last two sides he wanted finding out about this, if not for their often-tumultuous relationships, but because they'd never fully understand. Neither of them were as dependent on validation as much as he was. Despite what others thought about them, they would just keep on going, meanwhile Roman couldn't truly thrive without some kind of feedback; he was too shackled to expectations and the need to please for that sort of self-indulgence, it was practically written in his existence. It simply wasn't enough for him to be great, he needed to be great and be appreciated. Without that, he felt as if he would burn out, like a candle who's supply of oxygen had been cut off, leaving only smoke and the charred wick behind as a reminder of the fire that was once there. And sometimes that made him feel pathetic, that so much of his esteem depended on what people thought of him. Other times it just made him envy the others who had no one to please but Thomas himself and what he deemed important.
...He was tired, but he needed to keep going. The least he could do was keep up the image of egotism so that those horrid thoughts of being lesser weren't picked up by the others. If they started thinking of him the way he thought about himself (if they didn't already), he wouldn't know what he'd do. He wouldn't stand to be pitied or mocked or anything that validated what he already knew about himself. He just wouldn't.
Rolling out of bed, he practiced his smile in the mirror, fixed his clothes, and sunk out to make his grand appearance.
He couldn’t let this happen again at all costs.
------------------
VII - an agreeable sort of self-destruction.
More and more often, Roman was glad that he and Remus didn't share a room anymore. From the nights he hunched over scraps of ideas and worked without distraction until the sun was on the horizon, to the days he woke up with tears clinging to his lashes and breath coming out in labored pants, until he realizes the dream about him messing up so badly that he's split apart a second time was merely a cruel trick of his mind.
Currently, there was no greater time to be grateful for their separation than the moment he hastily returned back to safety after Remus' debut to Thomas. If only his brother could see the way he paced back and forth and tugged at his hair, he was sure his other half would merely gloat and poke away at his wounds instead of doing anything to help. Or worse, use it as ammunition in front of the other sides as some sort of proof of his imperfection.
Speaking of, the video was disastrous. He had been out-cold the entire time so he had no idea what was said and had no way of directing the conversation at all, which was possibly the most aggravating part of the whole situation. Beyond that, there was so much that Remus could have told the others without his knowledge. Once upon a time, the two of them were two peas in a pod, and that meant they knew an unnameable amount of secrets about each other. (Like how Remus always used to sleep with this crudely-knitted octopus Roman had made for him when he discovered crochet. Remus claimed to have set fire to it when they were teenagers, but Roman had seen it tucked away on a shelf the last time he had been in his room, before the Great Divide). The room swam a little when Roman thought about it too much. Perhaps he was being paranoid, but it wasn't as if he'd done much to earn Remus' loyalty. Why would he take the higher road and keep all of that to himself now, when he had the prime opportunity right in front of him to make himself seem like the better twin?
Hold on... He was thinking about this all wrong. Remus didn't care about good and bad the same way he did. Sure he was adamant that his version of being creative was more interesting, but he never tried to convince any of the other sides that he was inherently better or more worthy of attention than Roman, at least not to the same extent he did. The realization hit Roman like a train on it's way to a damsel tied to railway tracks (for lack of a less Remus-y simile): had he been wrong to push his brother away when he was just trying to help? All this time he had expected nothing but the worst from him, all because he was loud and unapologetic and had gone about his concern in a way that frightened him. Though just because Roman had been scared, surely that didn't warrant the dark sides being pushed aside in such a manner, and clearly the repression wasn't any benefit to Thomas...And was that partially his fault? He had been the one who encouraged Patton to divide the sides up. He had come up with the name for them: light and dark.
When he really thought about it, there wasn't much 'light' about him, not when he had been the source of so many problems.
Making Virgil feel unwelcome and continuing to trample on his boundaries.
His insults toward Logan and attempts to diminish his importance.
Leading Thomas and Patton astray in his pursuits for romance.
Being too quick to side with Janus when he should’ve known that the deceitful side only stood for selfishness and not the fair-played ambition Thomas valued.
And now: his treatment of Remus for most of their lives. Pushing him away, pretending he didn't exist, trying to erase their memories together.
How could he have the gall to claim that he saw Remus as an awful reflection of everything he didn’t want to be, when the whole point of looking into a mirror means facing you and you alone?
Even his metaphors were hypocritical.
It was a shock that nobody saw through that statement or called him out on how he had wronged just about everybody. How truly unfortunate it was that he had been declared the hero when he had done very little to live up to that title. Heroes weren't mean. They didn't make people feel bad about themselves for merely existing. They're supposed to defeat the bad guys, yes, but every time he had thought he was accomplishing that, it turned out that he was always off the mark. At least this time he had it right with Deceit, but still, that didn't erase the history he had with misjudging what was acceptable. He couldn't help but wonder what sort of reflection that must have on Thomas' content. If his creativity, which was supposed to be a force of pure good, had made a countless number of errors, what did that say about the things they were proud of? How many things had they put into the world that were imperfect? That had a misleading message? That was problematic and hurt people?
The realization had his throat tightening in panic. How could he ever have confidence in his work when he had such a flawed system of right and wrong? How-
...Wait.
Roman's spiraling thoughts were fortunately put on pause as he passed by his vanity, being pulled back to reality in an instant and finally noticing the splash of colours that had made themselves welcome on his skin once more. He gaped at his own reflection. It wasn’t as if he was unused to the sight per say, but he hadn’t realized anything had happened today that would affect Thomas’ ego. Remus’ appearance perhaps? He had the feeling that if there was any discussion to be had in light of that it would be on the goodness of his character, which could be a worthy-enough explanation. But if anything wouldn’t that what the large gash on the back of his head (fittingly) represented? So where had the others come from? Unless…
Was it him?
His own self-criticism had never left a dent on his pride before. Usually his injuries tended to be the result of outside sources; the kind of things that come out of nowhere and hit at you harder than you could ever expect. Did this mean that his own words were on par with Thomas’ harshest critics?
Roman shakily sat down. This... was a good thing, right? Perhaps he was finally gaining some self-awareness. He had been trying to make amends for where he had fallen short in the past, so this could be the sign he was making progress.
Yes. This was good. And if it wasn't, then perhaps this was just apart of his repentance. At this point he was sure everyone would agree.
------------------
VIII - the art of learning to let go.
The thing about tightropes is quite interesting. Like most other skills, it is something that needs to be honed. At first you try on a smaller scale and fall off more times you can count, but it's alright because that's why you practice in a safe environment. And then you progress to something more risky, and this time you have other tools to help keep you steady. Before you know it, you're up doing the actual thing; a rope suspended tens of feet in the air and thousands of eyes watching your every move, each one wondering if you really will make it across, or if they're about to watch a great tragedy take place before them. When you misjudge your own abilities and are thrust upon that rope when you're unprepared, however, all of the practice you gained can feel as if it has slipped away. As soon as you take your first step, the rope wobbles and you know somewhere deep down that your fall will be inevitable. But with so many expectant eyes baring into you, what else are you to do but continue forward? Continue until you're halfway across and your balance is so shaky that all you can do is watch as the rope swings backwards and forwards beneath your feet until you give up on trying to steady yourself entirely and-
Roman let go of the rope he had been clinging onto.
There was no grace in the way that he fell. It wasn't even a matter of choosing a side; ego or change. At first he fell so gradually that he didn't feel it at all, placing all of his thoughts and opinions into a neat little box and shoving them aside. Trying so hard to adapt, trying to be feel comfortable clinging to reasoning that contradicted his role, his meaning, his existence- and before he knew it, he was plummeting towards the ground because even then, that little piece of purpose he was forcing himself to mold his worth around did nothing but feed into the self-righteousness that must've always been there, hiding away under the surface.
Roman could only describe the feeling as air-sickness when he sunk out, his very being thrown into weightless uncertainty. Once he appeared back at his safe place, the place he wanted to be most, he felt his body connect with the ground once more as he collapsed onto the floor, body shaking with sobs and wounds he already knew were appearing.
He had been so stupid. Every step he took was littered with mistakes. Just when he thought he had learned, to try to be more accepting, to know when to give up, to listen to others instead of forging his own path, another thing came along and knocked him back to where he started and he was thrown back into the cycle of trying to atone for his actions. A cycle that never seemed to end.
His arm fractured and started to swell.
For once he thought he finally had it figured out. If he just followed the person who should've known what was best for Thomas, even if it meant going back on his own desires, surely then he would be on the right side for once. But all of a sudden that was wrong and now it was all his fault that so many bad outcomes had come about as a consequence of his lack of assertion. He may not have loaded the gun, but he had pulled the trigger, and that made him more culpable than anyone else.
His nose ached as if hit by an unseen force and began dripping blood.
Even his attempts at keeping his ego in check were all for nothing because the moment he felt threatened he lashed out towards Janus, the side who now all of a sudden deserved a seat at the table because he had gained Patton's favor (nevermind that he had agreed with him first. Oh no, that was just Roman being naive and easy to sway if only you stroke his ego a little. What importance could his opinions possibly have?). But that was the thing, wasn’t it? In the end he just couldn’t win, no matter what he did. When he tried to silence his voice it was too obvious and attention-seeking, and when he chose to project his thoughts it was too loud and abrasive. When he spoke out he was punching down, but when others did the same they were punching up up up. It left him wondering how much more he had to fall before it was no longer deemed okay to kick him while he was down. Was it his fault for choosing to sit atop his golden pedestal, making himself seem forever untouchable and unable to be hurt? And would things be different if he was sensitive like Patton? Complicated like Virgil? Respectable like Logan? Had he been making a mistake all along by pretending to be stronger than he was? But how was he ever supposed to let go of the walls he had built, knowing that the second they crumbled, all the things he had been trying to protect himself from would pass through and destroy everything he had worked so hard for? Maybe it was time to accept that this was all he could be; that there was no way for him to change, no way to soften his edges or stick firm to his beliefs that wouldn’t end with him in a losing position.
His ribs ached, bending unnaturally until he felt a snap in his chest.
Perhaps Janus was right by calling him evil. He had proven it time and time again that he was no good for Thomas. In fact, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to say that he was worse than Remus. At least he couldn't help the way he was, didn't have control over the problems he caused unlike Roman. He was supposed to be the half with all the bad parts removed. The 2.0 version, new and improved. He had no excuse for being as flawed as he was, not really. All this time spent thinking he was the good twin, and it was nothing more than an act of self-delusion. The grandeur of a side with nothing to show for it beyond his words.
His eyelid puffed up and mottled with colour.
...He was bad. Unneeded. Evil.
The capillaries across his knuckles burst and stained them a violent red.
Everything would be so much better if he just-
"Broman?" Oh shit.
Romans eyes flew open. And he realized belatedly that he wasn't looking at his floor; his floor had intricate Persian rugs and a soft fluffy carpet. This one had various stains and burns and felt scratchy against his fingers.
"What the fuck. Princey? You good?"
1) He wasn't in his room. 2) Wherever he was, Remus and Virgil were here too.
"M-my mistake! I must have accidentally sunk out to the wrong place. If you'll excuse me-" He tried, but his voice was hoarse and clearly not okay. Of all times for his acting skills to have failed him.
"Oh no you don't."
Before he could sink out through the floor, two arms latched under his armpits and hoisted him upright. He choked back a gasp at the sudden movement, senses flashing white as his injuries were jostled. He barely heard the shocked exclamation in front of him before the two voices discussed something hastily and he was deposited onto a soft surface. The ringing in his ears faded, just in time to hear Virgil speak.
"What happened? " He asked, voice layered with anxiety and sounding on the verge of a panic attack. Roman would have tried to reassure him if he didn't feel like his entire body was on fire.
"It just happens sometimes, when Thomas’ ego gets bruised." Remus answered bitterly when it became clear his brother wasn't in a position to explain. He then muttered under his breath: "Though this time is different, huh?"
"What? I thought- I didn’t know it got this bad.” Virgil whispers, horrified.
"Sorry you have to see this, Finding Emo." Roman croaked once he began slowly coming back to his senses. He would regret not being more composed later, but right now he couldn't really bring himself to care about anything. “I’ll be as good as Gucci soon.”
"No. Shut the fuck up, you don't get to say that." Remus said angrily. Why did he sound so mad? Roman tried to crack open his eyes to check, but the world was still spinning too much for him to really recognize what was he was seeing. On top of that it seemed one of his eyes was swollen shut. Joy. That'll make it more difficult to patch himself up later.
"'Told you before, I can handle myself." He finally managed.
"Yeah? Was that you 'handling yourself' when you dropped in and started bleeding all over my floor? Or when you stopped talking to me and kicked us 'dark sides' to the curb because your sense of superiority was more important? Or when you started acting like a royal prick to everyone just so they wouldn't know you spend your nights licking your wounds?"
"Stop." Roman pleaded, shamefully curling into himself as much as his body allowed in its current state. Remus paused in his tirade before continuing, more quietly.
"If you're uncomfortable just from that, you should try watching your brother slowly self-destruct for years and not being able to do anything about it. That's fucking uncomfortable." Roman heard a sniffle, and his body went cold. He hadn't heard Remus get upset since they were kids. Sometimes he forgot that there was more to his brother than his disgusting unpredictable persona, and the thought that he could've been hurting Remus all this time was something that had never even crossed his mind.
"I'm..." Sorry? Was he sorry? Apologizing was practically second nature at this point, but he couldn't even tell if the words would be genuine if he said them. Was he sorry for his actions or for hurting Remus, or was it the fact that he had been caught at all? If he had it his way, none of this would be happening, so perhaps he wasn't as apologetic as he thought. He really was the worst, wasn't he?
Remus seemed to pick up on what he was thinking about saying, because he laughed; not in his usual cartoon-ish way, but resigned and hurt. The sound pulled at Roman's heart. "Save it. Here's what's going to happen you Walmart Prince Eric knockoff. You’re going to accept our help whether you like it or not, and if you try to pull any self-sacrificing BS at any point, I’m going to eat your entire makeup collection.”
“...You wouldn’t. You don’t like the way glitter sticks to your teeth.” Roman argued weakly, just for the sake of being contrary.
“Try me.”
Roman sighed. He really didn’t doubt that Remus would be petty enough to go through with his threats, especially since he knew it how much it would bother Roman to summon a new set. In any case, he wasn’t in a position to do much of anything at the moment, and now that it was too late to pretend like this never happened, he figured he might as well roll with it. Future him could deal with the consequences later.
“Okay.” He said after a moments pause, looking to the Virgil-shaped figure, as much as the crick in his neck would allow. “...Just don’t tell Patton about this. Not yet.”
The figure shuffled, out of what was probably awkwardness after having watching the twins argue. “No worries dude. We’re not exactly on- uh. Y’know what, nevermind, I’ll just go get the medical kit.”
During the moments that Virgil had shuffled off, there was an empty silence. Roman spent it trying to blink his uninjured eye back into focus, until he was finally able to spot Remus standing across from him, an uncharacteristically glum look on his face. "You look like you're going to a funeral."
"Don't even joke about that. I don't need more thoughts about-"
"Death? I thought that was pretty par for the course."
Remus smiled wryly at him, sarcastic and mocking. "You dying, dummy. D'you think I never imagined it? Something happening and you disappearing because you never let anyone help you- and me not even knowing it happened? Finding out much too late? Being alone?"
Roman didn't know what to say to that. "Sorry." He blurted out, and this time he felt like he meant it. "If it means anything in retrospect, I wouldn't have ever let it go that far. I think."
"'You think.'" Remus repeated. "God, you need some self-care. It's a shame you and Jan-jan weren't friends before. It's supposed to be his job to make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen, you know."
Roman felt himself flinch at the mention of Janus' name before he could control it. If Remus noticed, he didn't get the chance to comment on it, because at that moment Virgil came bustling back with a first aid kit.
"I didn't know what else you needed, so I got some water, balms, bandages, frozen peas, and creams. Just in case." He spoke, noticeably out of breath.
"Water?" Roman asked as a glass was held towards him. He pushed himself upright with some effort and accepted it.
"For painkillers." Virgil replied, handing him some pills once he had set the other items down. "Also your throat sounded kinda rough, and when you cry a lot you can get dehydrated, so..."
Surreptitiously, Roman wiped at his face and tried to not feel too embarrassed that the two of them had heard him wail like a toddler who'd had their favourite toy taken away. Before he knew it, he had taken the pills and downed half of the glass while the other two sides unpacked the medical supplies. Virgil really had thought of everything he might have needed.
Roman blinked as he watched them, stunned that he would go to so much effort. "This is very thoughtful of you, Medic Parade."
Virgil paused as he pieced together the nickname, and then scowled. "Mayday doesn't even sound anything like medic- and it's not. I just didn't want to- y'know- get the wrong things and make it worse."
Remus elbowed Virgil in the side, perhaps in an attempt to cheer him up. "Hey, you can't do any worse than what we did the first time Ro got a booboo."
"...And what was that?" Virgil's hesitant tone indicated he wasn't sure if he want to know.
"Nothing!" Remus grinned.
"I'm pretty sure that was just a concussion." Roman stated before Virgil got the wrong idea and thought they were totally stupid, looking upward as he tried to recall the incident Remus was talking about. It felt like forever ago now. "Not like anything could be done, to be fair."
"'Just'-" Virgil made a strange choked sound. "Is this what my life's gonna be now? Having a worry-induced heart attack every 5 minutes?"
"Welcome to the club!" Remus cheered, offering a fist bump which Virgil ignored in favour of burying his head in his hands.
"Goddammit. Alright- let's get this show on the road I guess. Roman, take your shirt off." When Remus' eyebrows started waggling, clearly about to make an inappropriate comment, Virgil waved his hands wildly to stop him. "So we can look at the damage! Shut your mouth Remus!"
"I didn't say anything." He intoned, looking overly smug before turning to Roman expectantly.
Said man frowned, placing the glass of water on the bedside table next to him. Before he made any move, he glanced at Virgil who was looking red either out of Remus-induced embarrassment or frustration. Mood. "You don't have to stick around for this part if you don't want to. It can be a bit much, so I wouldn't blame you."
"I'm not a baby, Roman." Virgil retorted, crossing his arms. "Making sure you don't die or something is way more important than my comfort. I can't promise you'll be safe from me calling you an idiot until you're better, though."
Roman looked away again. Was that condescending of him to ask? He opened his mouth to apologize, before closing it in resignation. No need to make this into an issue; he'll ask Virgil whether he felt belittled later. "...Okay. That's fair."
Instead of going through the pain of trying to remove a shirt with a possibly broken rib, he snapped and it disappeared. He heard a sharp inhale, but in response to what, he didn't know. Roman looked downwards to check. Among the remnants of previous attempts at self-healing (some messier than others), the area around his right rib was inflamed and a large portion of his stomach was splotched with purple. Noticeably, his left arm was also burning red, but luckily it seemed like the fracture there was non-displaced, which hopefully meant it would heal quicker. Other than that, there weren't any major injuries besides his black eye and bloody nose that needed attention. Could be worse, considering how god-awful he felt!
Remus whistled. "You look like someone took a dalmatian and made it the colours of the bi-flag."
"Yeah. That's- weirdly accurate." Virgil winced. "What hurts most?"
"Uh- My arm and my ribs I suppose. They're a little... on the broken side."
"That's what I thought." Virgil muttered under his breath, grabbing the items to make a split. "I'll deal with those first, Remus you help with his nose and the bruising. And if you want to make yourself useful, hold these peas to your eye, dumbass."
"Your bedside manners are impeccable." Roman said sarcastically, taking the bag of peas and exhaling as he adjusted to the cold feeling pressed against his face. "...Here I thought there would be a grace period before you started calling me names."
"Just calling it like I see it." Virgil hummed. With deft fingers, he held the splint under Roman's forearm and began winding the bandages around it. "You should probably make an actual brace later when you're up to it, but hopefully this should keep it in place and remind you to not use it for now."
"But that sides my dominant arm-" Roman whined, about to complain about how he was supposed to get work done until Remus pinched the bridge of his nose none too gently, and he yelped. "Ow! Remus."
"Think of that as payback for the last 15 years." Remus replied lightly. "Tilt your head back."
Begrudgingly, Roman complied, resting his head against the headboard. He stared at the ceiling as his brother and best friend silently worked their way around his injuries, applying topical ointment to his bruises and applying band-aids to small cuts. He didn't even realize they had finished until Remus bonked him on the head.
"All done! Shame it's not Halloween. You could go as a mummy again."
"Ha ha. What a comedian you are." Roman replied in a deadpan, but fought to keep a smile away anyway. The irony of how much he resembled that costume right now definitely wasn't lost on him.
"...I'm sorry for ruining that, by the way." Virgil spoke up suddenly from where he had been packing everything away, breaking the thoughtful silence he'd been in for the past few minutes. "Your costume during the Christmas video, I mean. And saying all of that harsh stuff to make a point."
Roman only stared, taken aback. "All of that happened half a year ago. I'm not upset about that."
"I know, I know. It's just... I've been thinking about it recently, all the times I haven't acted very...good." He bit his lip, averting his eyes. "Especially now, knowing that kind of thing literally hurts you."
"Virgil." Roman sighed softly, taking his hand. Virgil startled but didn't pull away. "You don't need to be 'good' all the time. Wasn't that the point you were trying to get across back then? All of us have made mistakes in our pasts, some more than others, but if you can forgive us for that, then you deserve the same acceptance for your less-than-stellar moments."
"Oh." He said, eyes glassy. His hand tightened around Roman's. "I'm still sorry, if I've ever made things worse for you or if I haven't been supportive enough."
"I- You have-" Roman spluttered worriedly, sitting up.
"It's alright, I already know that we kinda work against each other at times. Part of the job." Roman's mouth closed with a grimace. "Still, it's unfair on you. You shouldn't be expected to perfect, especially not with an asshole like me there to tear into your work. So just...know that it's okay to tell us when you're struggling, okay?"
"Right..." Roman bit his cheek. Virgil seemed well-meaning, but showing that sort of weakness was a concept he still found difficult to accept, even if he had given in this time and allowed himself to be completely seen. Virgil noticed his lackluster agreement and patted him with his free hand.
"Hey. In almost any case we'd embrace you."
"...No one hates you." Roman finished a beat later with a small smile. Virgil's face lit up and moved closer to his side. Upon seeing this, Remus unceremoniously squished himself between the two of them, careful not to bump against Roman too much (although Virgil definitely got the brunt of Remus crawling over him, to his dismay).
"Look at you two, my favourite dorks, bonding over feeling insecure!" He declared, throwing an arm around both of them. "Couldn't be me, but I still love you."
Roman poked Remus' side. "So that wasn't you admitting to being worried earlier?"
"Nope! New phone who dis?"
"You're insufferable." Virgil rolled his eyes fondly. "...I love you guys."
And Roman sighed contently, feeling safe and cared for. Things weren't perfect right now; he still needed time to heal and Remus and Virgil would undoubtedly want him to open up about what happened sooner or later, but for now he was was able to hear that he was loved and believe it to be true, and that was enough.
"I love you both too. Thank you."
#sanders sides#roman sanders#roman angst#creativitwins#platonic prinxiety#platonic royality#my writing#that's a tag now ig#....i've stared at this for so long idk if it's good anymore#bruised but not broken
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long story short: the date (18) ✧ sam and colby
long story short ✧ a parallel universe snc au | ao3
disclaimer: i do not own any aspect of the karate kid universe. does not *totally* follow the karate kid canon (i’ve taken a few creative liberties).
summary: the trio makes sure there are no more bumps in the road.
word count: 1,034
warning(s): okay so technically ali and daniel’s date should have came before the last chapter buuuut i make the rules around here :)
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Colby had to admit, there was still a lot of things he was clueless on. He didn’t understand how Mr. Miyagi’s training had amounted to what it did. He wasn’t sure why he had to fight Sam in the tournament, if it came down to it. He wasn’t entirely sure how the portal jumper had even worked. But, even more importantly, he wasn’t sure why Arden had dragged him and Sam to spy on Daniel and Ali’s date at Golf N Stuff. He’d asked probably a thousand times already, but Arden hadn’t given much more explanation other than “it’s what needs to be done”.
And honestly? There wasn’t that much to do, anyways. Ali and Daniel went from game to game, laughing and having a grand old time while the trio remained close by, trying to remain inconspicuous in case something happened. What that something was? Colby didn’t have the first clue. Arden just said that she’d let them know if it came up.
But waiting was not Colby’s strong suit. This whole “not knowing” was making him antsy. How was he to be sure he wasn’t going to fuck everything up if he didn’t know what he was supposed to be doing? Why couldn’t Arden just give him a straight answer for once? Why must everything be shrouded in mystery? Was Colby so untrustworthy that he couldn’t know anything about the job he was supposed to be doing?
In an attempt to distract himself for the distress he was going through, he turned to asking other questions. “Can Sam and I get to know you better?” he asked Arden.
She side-eyed him while she threw another skee ball, it landing perfectly in the 4,000 point hole. “Why?”
He shrugged, throwing his own skee ball. It landed pathetically in the 100 point slot. “Dunno. I just…You know so much about us, about what’s going on, but we haven’t got the first clue about who you are.”
“And haven’t you considered that’s for the best?”
“I suppose, but you can always just shoot down any questions that cross a line,” he suggested.
She considered his point for a moment. And, for a moment, Colby was worried that she was going to tear into him, tell him that he was a fucking idiot for thinking that he could just go around asking questions about who she is beyond the kickers agent-in-training sent to deal with his mess. “Fine,” she finally said. “But I reserve the right to hit you for any stupid questions.”
“Fine,” Colby chuckled, but they all knew that she wasn’t above violence. “Where are you from?”
“Places are different where I’m from. The states and everything…They’re all different. But, I believe my hometown would be somewhere in the Kentucky-Ohio-West Virginia area.”
“Did you always know that you were going to get in…this business?” Sam asked, hesitating slightly, knowing that they couldn’t reveal too much about the true nature of Arden’s (and their own) presence in the Valley.
She nodded, a small smile on her face. “Yeah, yeah I did. I told Colby about this before, but everyone in my family’s been in this business. It was only natural that I followed in their footsteps. But, even if it wasn’t some sort of family legacy, I think I still would’ve worked for the MTD. There’s just…You know where you feel like something’s your calling?”
Colby thought about how he’d always wanted to go into social media, when he first learned about it. “Yeah, we do.”
“It was like that. It just felt right. Like there was nothing else I was supposed to do.”
“Are you…” Colby paused, unsure if he should continue the question. But, then he decided the worst that could happen was that Arden would hit him, and he decided he could live with that. “Are you worried that, if this doesn’t go well, it could ruin your chances of becoming a full agent?”
“I’d be a fool not to,” Arden admitted. “But I can’t think like that. When I let the doubt creep in, that’s when things get fucked up. And if I don’t think about it, then things keep going well. And that’s all I can really hope for right now.”
A silence lulled over them as they continued to watch Daniel and Ali’s date. But then, Sam decided he had another question he had to get off his chest. It was something that had been eating at him since…well, since they met her. And he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t at least try to get an answer.
“Earlier,” Sam said, “when we first met you, you said something about Arden not being your real name…I was wondering, would we ever know what your real name is?”
“You don’t have the honor of knowing my real name,” Arden said.
Colby frowned. Sure, he wouldn’t say that he and Sam were particularly close to Arden, but he didn’t understand why Sam’s question was met with such hostility. He understood that she might not want to reveal her real name in public, when anyone could hear, but was it necessary to snap at Sam like that? Were they not all friends?
“Will we ever know your real name?” Colby asked.
She looked at him, sizing him up like a predator would do to its next meal. “Maybe. We’ll have to see if you two fuck things up anymore.”
“Arden—” Colby started.
“Drop it,” she said. “C’mon, it looks like we can head home now. It looks like the date’s over.”
“Shouldn’t we make sure…I don’t know, that it ends right?” Colby asked.
She shook her head. “No, sometimes you just gotta know when it’s time to drop something. And that time is now.”
And, though she hadn’t said anything that indicated otherwise, Colby knew that she wasn’t just talking about spying on Daniel and Ali’s date. A chord was struck tonight, and he wasn’t quite sure if there was anything he and Sam could do to fix it. Not until they fixed this universe, of course.
But only time would tell if they could even do that.
#long story short: a parallel universe snc au#sam and colby#sam golbach#colby brock#snc#xplr#traphouse#traphouse 2.0#trap house#trap house 2.0#sam and colby fanfic#sam and colby imagine#sam and colby fanfiction#sam and colby fic#sam and colby fan fiction#sam and colby fan fic#sam golbach fanfic#sam golbach imagine#sam golbach fanfiction#sam golbach fic#sam golbach fan fiction#sam golbach fan fic#colby brock fanfic#colby brock imagine#colby brock fanfiction#colby brock fic#colby brock fan fiction#*written by: me#starrybrock
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So long as I'm getting caught up on all my stuff, here's the next installment of the Walpurgis Nights girls watch The Rebellion Story, this time stretching from Homura shooting herself in the head to her talk with Sayaka the vague-poster!
Reminder:
G=Gretchen
H=Homulilly
Op=Ophelia
Ok=Oktavia
Ca=Candeloro/Mami
Ch=Charlotte
...
=still screaming=
G: Turn it off, TURN IT OFF!
Ok, panicking: I got it, I got it! Off!
=TV winks out=
Ch: Sweet Christ!
=long pause, and then Gretchen gets up and runs off. Homulilly quickly follows=
Ch: This was a mistake.
Op: What. The fuck?
Ca: I should have known. I should have known it would go this way.
Ch: Candy, there’s no way you could have-
Ca: No! There was! I knew how bad it could get! I knew how far we could have fallen! I shouldn’t have let you guys see any of this.
Ok: It’s not your fault.
Ca: I still should have known. I should have at least screened this!
Ch: Yeah, one of us probably should have.
=another long pause=
Ok: So, uh, are we, like, done?
=suddenly Gretchen reenters the room, followed by Homulilly. They silently return to their seats=
G: Okay. Play it.
Op: Gretch, are you sure?
G: I need to know. I need to know what happens to her. I need to know if we turn out okay. Play it.
=everyone exchanges uncomfortable glances, and then look to Homulilly, who slowly nods=
Ok: Okay, if you say so…
Op: We’d better ease it with the commentary. I mean, this isn’t something we can-
G: No! Please, no. The talking…and the jokes…well, it makes it easier.
Op: Sure.
Ch: It’ll be kind of hard to find anything funny about this.
Ca: We can try to do what we can.
=they start the movie, and silently watch as Homura falls in slow motion, blood and brains spewing out. And then…=
Op: Wait, hold up! How is she still moving?
Ca: As I said, something like that won’t kill her. You would need to destroy her soul gem.
Op: So she can straight up just blow her own head off and walk it off?
Ca: So long as the act of healing didn’t use up too much magic, yes.
H: Okay, but why? Why would I do something like that?
Ca: Let’s find out.
…
Ok: Uh…Ooooh.
H: Oh. Really?
G: What’s going on?
H: I couldn’t get rid of the ribbon on my ankle. Every time I tried to shoot it off, Mami would just grow it back. So I tried shocking her so badly that she wouldn’t think to regenerate the ribbon long enough for her to be caught in the time-stop.
Op: By shooting yourself in the head?!
H: Clearly, I have a considerable amount of emotional issues.
Ch: You know, it’s really starting to concern me how you keep referring to her as yourself just now.
H: I apologize. I will try to differentiate between my alternate selves.
Ok: Oh great, now I’ve gone cross-eyed.
…
Ch: So…this is really uncomfortable. Again.
G: Is she going to shoot Cand-I mean, Mami?
Ca: I mean, there’s clearly a moral struggle.
H: Well. At least I didn’t turn out as a complete sociopath.
Ok: This is seriously gross. Can we just skip this part?
Ca: No.
Ok: But-
Ca: No.
Ok: Okay.
…
Op: In the leg. Well, I guess that’s not as-
Ok: HOLY!
G: What’s happening? What’s going on?
Op: Sweet flames, she’s…a ribbon monster? The fuck?
=pause, and then Charlotte starts laughing hard while Candeloro just sighs=
Ok: Charlotte! Explain! Now!
Ch: She did it! She actually did it!
Ok: Did what?!
Ch: You’ll see!
H: Wow, I am…I mean, she is just all tied up now.
G: Wait, Mami’s there? But I thought…then what was…
Ca: Oh, good grief.
Ok: Wait. Wait a second, you can clone yourself?!
Ca: It’s…not so much a clone as it is a puppet.
Ok: Since when could you do that?!
Ca: Um, well, I had figured it out a short time before our, um, deaths. I was training with Kyo…with Ophelia, and we were practicing with her illusion magic. You know, the duplicates?
Op: Uh-huh.
Ca: Well, she suggested that perhaps I could do something similar with my ribbons, since I could use my ribbons to form other objects. And, well…it worked.
Op: Ooooh. Okay, that’s actually kind of awesome.
H: I was fighting a copy the whole time?! How is that fair?
Ch: You can literally freeze time!
H: Hey, wait. How do you know that she could do that, Charlotte?
Ch: How do you think?
Ca: Like we said: our therapist suggested building positive associations around my change. We had to get creative.
Op: Oh, come on, that’s not fair!
Ok: Wait, you were the one betting on her!
Op: I’m not talking about that! When I do my duplicate trick all I can do with them is give Tavi a show! It’s not like she can touch any of them!
Ok: Babe. Relax. It’s honestly fine.
Op: All I’m saying I should be able to give you a lap dance while the striptease is going on.
G: TMI! TMI!
Ch: You, uh, do know that you can give her the lap dance and let your illusions handle the striptease, right?
Op: Do you know how hard it is to handle two kinds of dancing at the same time when you’re horny?
G: Please, I am begging you to stop!
…
Ch: So…I think someone owes me and Fee-Fee some talents.
Ok: Fight’s not over yet!
Ch: It clearly is…
G: You don’t know that! Maybe Homura will drop a hand-grenade to blow the ribbons up! Or maybe Kyoko will come to save her.
Op: Look, if other-me tags in, that’s an automatic forfeit. This is supposed to be one-on-one, and that clone trick is stretching things as it is.
H: Wait, wait, shut up. Wraiths? What are wraiths?
Ok: Dunno.
Ch: Did we miss something? I get that that nightmares replaced the witches, but what are wraiths?
G: Maybe…after I erased witches, wraiths are what replaced them!
Op: We should’ve just watched the damn show first.
Ch: Do you really think it’ll make things make more sense?
Op: Probably not, but at least we’d know about half of these names!
Ch: Jesus Christ, the fuck is that?
Ok: The sky wants to eat that giant walnut, apparently.
Ch: I can see that, but what does it mean?!
G: I think that’s an eye, actually.
Ok: An eye with teeth.
Ch: None of that answers any of my questions.
Op: Nope, this would still be just as weird even if we watched the show.
…
Ch: And here comes the rescue! Via…fire extinguisher for some reason. Sorry girls, Mami takes this.
Ok: Fine, fine. Thanks a lot, Homulilly.
H: Not my fault. None of us knew about the duplicate thing. I had her beat until then.
Ok: Wait, is that a sword?
Op: Guess it ain’t me with the steel chair, then!
G: Well, of course not. It’s a sword.
Op: That’s not…never mind.
Ok: It’s me! I’m coming in to save you!
H: I’m touched. But…why?
Ok: Because I had fifty talents riding on you, and you let me down.
H: Oh, don’t start.
Op: Wait. That ain’t your voice, Tavi.
Ok: Who else has a sword?!
G: Um, who is that?
Ch: Some kind of kid. Candy, do you recognize her back from before?
Ca: No, I really don’t…
Op: Wait, BEBE?!
Ch: Excuse me?!
H: Um…this is…a turn.
Ca: Don’t look at me, I’m as bewildered as you are.
Ch: Oh, so first I’m a creepy idiot doll, and now I’m a fucking child?!
Op: What is this, some kind of alternate universe bullshit?
Ok: I mean, basically. Uh, you okay over there, Charlotte.
Ch: Nope!
Ok: Wanna take a break?
Ch: Yes!
…
=everyone returns after half-an-hour=
Ch: I think I’ve figured it out.
H: Oh?
Ch: Butterfly effect. Like, okay, in this universe, Madoka somehow erased all witches, right? I mean, made it so magical girls don’t turn into witches anymore, right? And did it all through history, right?
H: Presumably.
Ch: So that means that there has to be major repercussions! Like, like, this girl doesn’t turn into a witch fifty years ago, so she doesn’t eat some random passerby, and that rando goes and marries someone that would have married someone else in the original timeline, so they have a completely different set of kids, so the kids they would have had originally don’t get born! So somewhere down the line, things got all screwy and I ended up being born a few years later!
G: Wow, that actually makes a lot of sense.
Op: I guess we’re all super-lucky that we got born at all. And that the rest of us ended up more-or-less the same. Um, no offense.
Ch: Right. That’s all it is. Different timeline, things happened differently, and I’m a little girl in this world. That’s it.
Ok: So…are you okay with this then?
Ch: Oh, absolutely not! But I can at least deal with it now!
Op: Bet’cha anything that good ol’ Bebe here still has a major crush on Mami.
Ch: Oh, God! Don’t even go there!
Op: I’m just sayin’…
Ca: Ophelia…
Op: Stopping, stopping.
H: Shall we continue?
Ch: Yeah, I guess. I’m gonna need major therapy after all this is over, though.
G: We all will.
…
Ok: Okay, I know this is probably a bad time to point this out, but Sayaka has style!
Op: I mean, you’re not wrong. Look at you, being all effortlessly cool! Not that you aren’t already.
Ok: Nice save there.
Ch: Haha, Sayaka’s got it right! Taking on Mami was a dumb idea. Speaking of which…
Ok: Oh, come on! That clone trick was dirty and you know it!
Ch: Oh, I’m sorry. Are you upset that she so happened to have something that counters Homura’s extremely unfair timestop power?
Op: She’s got a point. A bet’s a bet.
G: All right, I guess it’s official. Mami won.
=Candeloro smirks=
H; You don’t have to be all smug about it.
Ca: True. I don’t.
…
G: Wait…
Op: So, what, Sayaka knows what’s going on?
Ok: Of course I do! I mean, I’m the brains of the bunch!
=Homulilly coughs=
Ok: I heard that.
H: I didn’t say anything.
Ch: Well, finally some exposition!
G: I do sort of wish that she’d just tell Homura what is going on without being so vague about it.
Ok: Look, I’ve been pretty much on the wayside this whole movie. Let me have my monologue.
Ch: What’s she getting at though?
H: Oh.
Ch: Huh?
H: I think…Never mind.
G: What is it?
H: I just had sort of a realization, but I’d rather not say it now.
Op: Eh?
H: Hang on. Let’s just watch a bit more.
…
Op: Jesus, Tavi! No need to show Homura up like that!
Ok: Let! Me! Have! This!
Ch: That was pretty cool, though. Shwing! Stopped her cold!
G: Wait, so one of us is the…
=voice trails off=
G: Is it me?
H: Um…
Op: Oh.
Ok: Oh.
Ch: What? Oh, okay. I get it now.
Ca: I sort of put it together too.
G: What? What are…Oh.
=everyone looks at Homulilly=
H: Well, it only makes sense. I guess.
Ch: You don’t seem all that upset about it.
H: Well, at least I get to become my best self in this movie.
G: But…how though? I thought I erased witches or whatever!
Ok: Let’s find out.
Ch: If your other self can ever get to the point.
Ok: Shhh…
…
Ca: Wait, I’m the witch? Is that what she’s implying?
Ch: Pretty sure that’s just a red herring.
Ok: You know, it’s nice that Sayaka is actually being all sympathetic toward witches. I mean, it’s kind of fucked up, isn’t it? That even the magical girls that know the score still hunt down witches instead of trying to help them.
G: I mean, it can’t really be helped, can it?
Ok: I know, I just like that I’m saying it.
G: The Law of Cycles? What’s that?
Op: Probably whatever trippy business you replaced the witch stuff with.
H: Oh, now I’m finally just saying it out loud! Madoka erased witches. Took us long enough to get to that point.
Op: Wait, sacrificed herself? Only Homura remembers her? What?
Ch: Pretty sure this was all explained in the show.
Op: Well, that’s what we get for watching this first. Should we go back and-
Everyone: No.
Op: Cool.
…
Op: Oh, freaky!
Ok: Wait, so I’m the witch now?
Ch: Could mean that in this timeline you turned into a witch before Madoka did her un-witching…thing.
Ca: That is what you looked like. Right before you became one with Charlotte, I mean.
Ch: Er…
Ok: Phrasing…
Ca: Oh, for Heaven’s sake. It is literally what happened. You turned into a witch while we were fighting Charlotte, and then the two of you fused. Then I became a witch and fused with that witch. And then Ophelia became a witch and we all fused together.
Ok: Yeah, but the way you said it…
…
H: Where’d she go?
Ok: Clumsy? You have the gall to call me clumsy? Who just saved who’s ass, just now!
H: Cut me some slack, it’s been a long evening.
Ch: Y’know you still got blood and brains all over your cheek, right?
H: I am certain that Homura does not care.
Op: I am certain that Homura is about to blow the brains out of the first punk-ass that looks at her wrong right about now.
Ok: Headshots for everybody!
H: Except Madoka.
Ok: Except Madoka. She can be the token un-brain-slushee.
G: Gee. Thanks.
Ca: I’d like to just point out that Homura came very close to turning me into a brain-slushee, but changed her mind.
Op: I doubt she’ll let you off so easy a second time.
Ch: Easy. Hey, may I remind you who won that fight?
H: You’re not going to let that go, are you?
Op: Tell yah what. Losing party treats the winners to dinner at the Tradewinds. Fair?
H: Fair.
Ch: Seriously? With the prices they have down there it’ll be cheaper just to cough up the fifty talents.
G: Yeah, but onion volcanoes!
Ch: Hard to argue with that logic.
Ok: So…on a scale of one to ten, how badly is Homura going to flip out when she realized that she’s the witch.
H: I will accept nothing less than a massacre.
Ok: Cool. Just so long as it’s not of us.
Op: I don’t know. The way this movie is going I wouldn’t be surprised if this turned into a straight-up snuff film.
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GF - Evolution of Pines
Ford attempts to give Mabel a science lesson.
~~~~~~~~~~
Takes place between Stanchurian Candidate and The Last Mabelcorn…
“BOB! BOB! BOB! BOB!”
Ford paused pouring his coffee when he heard the odd chanting coming from the living room, but then he heard the sounds of the television and he smiled to himself, guessing the kids were watching some program they enjoyed. Deciding he could take a tiny break from going over his old journals, he wandered towards the living room with the hot mug of coffee in his six-fingered hand.
He smiled at the doorway, seeing a young pair of twins share the big armchair, Dipper grinning and shaking his fists excitedly while Mabel knitted a new sweater with her eyes glued to the TV.
“Bob Dry the Science Guy!” The theme song and the kids finished, and the episode began.
“I’m going to take a wild guess and assume you kids are watching Bob Dry the Science Guy?” Ford asked, leaning against the armchair, greeted by an energetic man in a lab-coat.
“Yup!” Dipper answered. “It’s really good! He teaches about magnets, volcanoes, global warming, bugs, all sorts of things! You knew you were gonna have a good day at school when the teachers pulled out the old TV and the theme song plays.”
“He’s so funny!” Mabel laughed as Bob printed a picture of his parents to explain something and it exploded. “My favorite episode is when he talked about the desert and got chased by a camel.”
Ford watched the TV for a second as Bob Dry explained to his audience that when things copy, they slightly change, explaining evolution. He could definitely understand why both children would love the show, but his interest peaked and his smile crashed down when he heard his niece say, “Eh, I don’t buy it.”
Ford turned his head sharply, like a hunting owl, and managed to make a smile through his shock. “Wh-What do you mean, you don’t buy it?”
Dipper snorted and smirked, “Yeah, Mabel doesn’t believe in evolution.”
Ford swore he could hear glass break. “You… You don’t believe in evolution?”
“Not really.” Mabel said with a shrug, still watching the TV just as invested as she was a few moments ago. “I mean… monkeys, Darwin, it’s a nice story, I just think it’s a little too easy.”
“T-T-T-T-Too easy.” Ford repeated, swallowing hard and standing up. “Too easy? Wait, so, the process of every living thing evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms is too easy?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Once the shock wore off, Ford was actually quite amused. To him, this was simply a child misunderstanding the knowledge offered to them, like teaching a child that 2+2=4, not 22. He chuckled warming and moved around the chair to be next to Mabel and got on one knee to be closer to her level. “Mabel, evolution is scientific fact. It’s just as real as the air we breathe or gravity or…”
“Oh, don’t even get me started on gravity.”
Ford stared at Mabel, confused and startled and maybe even a bit amazed. “Y-You don’t believe in gravity?”
“Oh, I believe in it, I just… I dunno,” Mabel paused her knitting to better explain her idea to her stranger of an uncle. “Lately I’ve just been feeling pushed down instead of pulled down.”
Ford snorted a laugh, caught it in his throat, coughed into his fist, and took in and out a deep breath. “You know, Mabel, there are times I wish my mind was like what yours is right now, so clean, a blank slate, an empty sponge so ready to soak up new knowledge. It’s truly a wonderful time.”
Mabel gave a timid smile back as he walked away, but something about what he said rubbed the young girl a wrong way. Needless to say, she was too distracted about what he had said to pay much attention to Bob Dry.
~~~~~~~~~~
Later that night, Mabel petted Waddles in bed robotically, still thinking. Dipper came into the room in his shorts and t-shirt and turned off the main light, leaving only his lantern on, and she decided to ask her brother something.
“Hey Dipper, do you think I’m stupid?”
Dipper turned and stared at her. “What? No, of course not. You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met! No one can think of as many colors and games and escape plans as you can.” He stood next to her bed and asked, “Why? What’s up?”
“Nothing, it’s just…” Mabel bit her lip, hesitant to tell Dipper how she felt. But this was the first time since Ford came home that Dipper had paid her this much attention, so maybe she should seize her opportunity why she could. “When Great-Uncle Ford said those things it made me feel… stupid.”
Dipper had to take a second to remember what Mabel was talking about. “Oh.” And he sat next to her, legs dangling off the edge, to listen to her.
“Y’know, clean, blank slate, empty… I think… I think he thinks I’m dumb, and if the Author of the Journals thinks that…”
“Hey, hey,” Dipper put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. “I’m sure he doesn’t think that. He loves us, we’re great. And even if he does think you’re not very smart, he’s wrong. You’re brilliant! You’re super creative and always thinking outside the box. Who cares if you think a little differently or if you don’t believe in something others do and vise versa. I mean, you believe in gnomes and not a lot of people do.”
Mabel snorted at Dipper’s slightly pathetic try at a joke, but she was still grateful. “Thanks, Dip-Dip.”
“Don’t start unbelieving what you believe in, sis.” Dipper advised, making Mabel laugh, and they both accidentally started singing a cheesy song that always got people hyped.
~~~~~~~~~~
At breakfast, Mabel and Dipper were eating Stancakes with the chef cooking up one more batch for himself. They were joined by Ford, who held a rolled-up poster in his hands, and he grinned at the sight of the only female in the room. “There you are Mabel, I wanted to talk to you.”
Mabel perked up and smiled. “Really?”
“Yes,” He unrolled the poster on the table and her smile dropped when it was about evolution. “I wanted to show you the proof that we scientists have collected over the years that evolution exists…”
“Oh boy what did you do to unleash the beast?” Stan groaned.
“Ford found out Mabel doesn’t believe in evolution.” Dipper answered.
“This should be fun.”
“... so you see, they found these fossils all over the world, stretching back as far as four-hundred million years ago.” Ford explained as this poster showed the fossils and what they looked like in life.
“Uh, wow.” Mabel said, holding her chin in thought. “You can actually see it.”
“Yes! See, you can.” Ford said proudly, glad he could help his niece.
“Now,” Mabel looked away, giving this serious thought. “Who puts those fossils there, and why?”
Dipper snorted into his milk and Stan bit his lip when they saw the look on Ford’s face. “Mabel sweetie, I love you so much.” Stan said as he sat down to have some breakfast.
“M-M-Mabel, Mabel, listen to me.” Ford chuckled nervously as he put a hand on her shoulder. “What about… What about thumbs?” He held up his own and further asked, “We human beings have opposable thumbs, now how did we get those without evolution?”
“Oh!” Mabel gasped and removed her hand from her chin to slam a fist down at the table. “Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts!”
Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. “While they do, evolution…”
“Great-Uncle Ford, can I ask you something?” Mabel said sweetly, with eyes filled with wonder and sparkles.
Ford grinned. “Yes, of course, my dear. Anything you want.”
“Okay, so, wasn’t there a time when the smartest guys in the world thought the Earth was flat?”
“Uh… y-yes…”
“And, up until sixty years ago, everybody thought the atom was the smallest thing ever, until some dudes split it open and this whole bunch of other stuff came out?”
“Um… y-y-yes, I suppose…”
“Okay, so, one last question, Great-Uncle Ford,” Mabel said. “Is there the teeny tiny-est possibility that you and every other scientist could be wrong about evolution?”
Ford was absolutely dumbfounded. He looked at Dipper and Stan for some sort of assistance or reassurance, but they only peered at him, interested in what Ford had to say now. The aged scientist cleared his throat; his niece’s logic certainly added up, and with all of that said, he felt that he was obligated to swallow his pride and croak out slowly, “There is a teeny… tiny… possibility… that I could be wrong, yes.”
Mabel blinked and put her hands over her heart in shock. Ford was ready to apologize if he had accidentally made her feel that he was so strict and by-the-book that he wouldn’t have enough humility to admit he could be wrong, but his jaw dropped when she said, “I can’t believe you caved.”
“Wh-What?”
“You just abandoned your whole belief system…”
“N-N…”
“... I mean, I didn’t agree with you, gut at least I respected you.”
“B-B-But…”
“Oh my gosh, how are you gonna go to another science convention?”
“I…”
“How will you ever set foot in another museum or planetarium again?” Mabel gasped sadly. “How are you going to face the other science guys? H-How are you going to face yourself?” And she puckered her lips innocently at her uncle, feeling sorry for him.
Ford had absolutely no clue what the heck just happened or how to respond. Feeling numb and needing a moment to digest, he slowly rolled up the poster, but rather than carry it in his hand, he cradled it like it was his own first born son, and hurried back down to the basement with as much dignity as he could muster.
“That was fun.” Mabel said casually as she popped another bite of Stancake into her mouth.
#GF#mabel pines#grunkle ford#gravity falls#fanfiction#I hope you liked it!#also hope no one got offended#mabel totally likes science#she's just doesn't like to limit things to only ONE possibility
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So here’s a nice little interview with Tobias where he talks about Copia, changing characters, the three times Papa III fell, a common nightmare, horror movies with his kids and horror movies in general. The volume is pretty low, so I’ve typed everything out below the read more!
Nudge: This is Nudge on the bus here with Tobias Forge. It is an honor to be here, sir. Thank you for creating an entire universe with your music.
Tobias: Thank you for enjoying it. [laughs]
Nudge: I’ve enjoyed it from the very start. Now, I wanna start out in the – Cardinal Copia… Your backstory with him, he won the most employee of the month awards from Papa Nihil. What kind of crazy stuff did he have to do for that?
Tobias: Uhhm…. For my well-being, I’m actually quite happy that I don’t know.
[Someone in the background laughs]
Tobias: I don’t want to think about whatever chores there are within the ministry that adds up to employee of the month. I don’t know exactly.
Nudge: You don’t know? But that’s alright.
[Someone in the background says “but I’m sure it’s hard work”]
Nudge: Speaking of hard, when you transition to another singer with Ghost, is it hard to say goodbye to that particular character? That front man?
Tobias: Uhm… I usually feel a bit ambivalent about that segment of… you know it’s always enthusias- like I’m always enthusiastic about making a new record, and also very very pumped about having a new release as much as any artist, I guess, and from a creative point of view, it’s always refreshing. And it’s exciting, but that bit is definitely putting a limiter on that excitement, unfortunately. But I’ve learned over the years, of doing it a couple times, that it’s just part of the program and uh….yeah. [laughs]
Nudge: Now Cardinal Copia is sticking around for a second album. At one point, he was called an imposter. Do you still feel he’s an imposter, or has he proved himself?
Tobias: I think he’s fine, I mean I think he’s cool. I would love- like also from the previous questions asked- to do it that way. [laughs] Because then that means you don’t have to change that much. But still, it’s like, also like reconfiguring the look of the band is also like a…it’s a hard thing to um… Imagine if your … it’s almost to the point where - if you’ve had a long, big beard and long hair for a long time and all of a sudden you shave everything off, it takes time to sort of like adjust to that because you have, you know, this picture in your head of what you’re doing and… but throughout all these years of doing Ghost it is a sort of a schizophrenic experience just because you are so distant. Me, personally, my own vision of myself does not correlate with what I see on a picture of us playing last night. It’s like this completely different being. So, adding to that is like when you’ve done the first few shows of a tour cycle and with a new costume and with the new look of the band it always feels a little bit like “ok, so this is what we are now?” [laughs] You know, it’s always a little strange.
Nudge: With new costumes, it’s been rumored that Cardinal Copia is still working hard at becoming a Papa. Are you excited for that movement? And getting promoted?
Tobias: Um, potentially yeah. Yeah, yeah I’m very curious to see where we’re going as well.
Nudge: what does he have to do to get promoted?
Tobias: [in a funny voice] oh, meters and meters of – [regular voice] no! [laughs] Uh, I dunno. Hard work and… that’s what it is. Hard work, and don’t fuck up.
[Someone laughs in the background]
Nudge: Has he fucked up in your opinion? On these last legs of the tour?
Tobias: No, I mean, I mean even compared to his brother in the past… uhm, no his brother- that was the previous guy… uh [laughs nervously] compared to the previous dudes, Cardi has not - so far - fallen off stage, which is a good thing.
[Someone is the background says “Oh I remember that video. Did that hurt?”]
Tobias: I-I wouldn’t know!
Nudge: He didn’t complain?
Tobias: He felt - like, Papa III fell three times. Three times was… like- hard. Like I remember there was one time at a festival in LA and that wasn’t very- it wasn’t involved with pain, but it was one of those where the air almost like [makes a coughing/wheezing noise]. And uh, the one on the Iron Maiden show where he fell into a hole on stage- or technically it was in between the two sort of thrusts – that could have ended very badly. Because it was a jack in the leg and would have been a jack in the back of the head hadn’t it been for the extra padding. So that could’ve ended very, very badly. And what else was it…?
Nudge: It was impressive that he went on and didn’t miss a beat after he got back up.
Tobias: Right, well we were lucky because we were doing it in between Mummy Dust and Monstrance Clock so there was the speech thing in between and had it been like just a dry start into the next song it would have been probably not doable. I had sit down and I was sitting on the edge of the stage just like “my god”, just feeling - like touching my leg and it was all numb and I could feel that it was all messed up underneath and it was bloody, and… and um, you know when you injure yourself sometimes you feel so nauseous? [Person in background says “yeah”] You’re about to- you know I was almost hurling like [makes pained noise] and you feel all shook up.
And the third time was in Leeds, of all places. We have these ego risers, which is basically just a box on stage - on the edge of the stage - with a little bit of grating on and then underneath you have like pyro and things that sort of- lights and stuff. But you can jump up on it, and we do that all the time, and this was a night like any other so we do that little bounce and you land with two feet on that box. But one foot was outside the box, so I just went like, almost head first down into the pit. And I sort of landed on all fours, sort of like a cat like [makes a “kch” sound] but I sort of hit my head on the mojo fence. Because you know, the barrier has like one um, sort like leg that it’s resting... um what do you call it… angular to sort of support the crowd. So, landing on all fours like that, but then hit my head right on the, on that little leg there.
Nudge: Speaking of horror stories, is there any mask horror stories? I find it impressive that performers wear a mask and go through all that. Is there one where it almost fell off or you lost it?
Tobias: oh, I thought you said whores- [laughs] no, no. Um, horror stories… well, I mean the most terrifying things that I usually dream about, which is a nightmare – which I know several others in the band also have, and I think it comes sort of with the fact that, I think most entertainers that are due to stand on stage at a certain time and prepare to do something dream this, it’s like – every now and then I dream that we’re sort of circling up before the show and we’re like “alright, go!” and everybody runs up to their positions and then you notice that you’re standing there in your civil clothing like “…no!” [laughs] uhm, but other than that, like…. Yeah, sneezing in it is not very cool.
[Someone in the background laughs]
Tobias: I’ve done that a couple times.
Nudge: [laughs] It’s trapped in it
Tobias: Yeah, yeah.
Nudge: Let’s go to the family side of you. You don’t get a lot of time at home, so I’d like to know: when you’re home what kind of family fun activities do you enjoy?
Tobias: One thing that I enjoy now which I’ve been waiting for, for years- I’ve always been, I mean, I come from a very liberal home, we’ve always been very… you know, my mom was very…allowing? And I had an older brother so I saw a lot of things that I maybe shouldn’t have seen. And many, many, many nights… mom sleeping on the couch and I’m seeing late night films with her sort of just sleeping next to me. And that could’ve been anything, like Scarface, Alien, you name it. Like all those things, when I was like 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Um, Shining. So my relationship to a lot of these films are very, very- I connect it with my childhood, like I connect it with so many nostalgic things… And I guess I was a little quick sometimes with my kids, like “Yeah, Temple of Doom, sure” like, and it-
[Someone in the background says “yeah, see a heart get ripped out!”]
Tobias: Yeah, and basically that scene was just like… caused like, a negative effect and like… “What’s…? This is like a matinee Lucas/Spielberg film…?”
[Someone in the background says “Rated PG!”]
Tobias: Yeah, yeah, like, totally fine! But now they’re 10 and my son has been - started to show real interest in horror films. He’s like really into Chucky and Child’s Play and you know, he wants to see Friday the 13th and like, “I’m game!”
[Someone in the background says “Oh yeah!”]
Nudge: you have to take him to see the new Child’s Play movie that’s coming out.
Tobias: Yeah that’s the one that we haven’t seen.
[Someone in the background “It’s coming out in a few months I think. There’s a new trailer for it.”]
Tobias: Yeah, I hope it’s as humoristic as the other ones. But most films that’re being remade, they have a tendency to completely not be charming anymore and they’re just like filled with jump-scares and it’s just horrible from first to last second. And that’s not really cool. I mean, all the horror films that I love are sort of very well balanced where there are segments of just transportation. So they’re just, you know there’s just better pacing in the old film.
Nudge: Alright, final question: what is your favorite horror film? Or a couple?
Tobias: My favorite ones… if I’m just going for like, for pure quality, it’s definitely the big cinematic releases like Jaws, Silence of the Lambs, Shining, Omen, The Exorcist, like the real films done by directors who don’t normally do horror films because that tends to get better that way. But on the other hand, I’m a big fan - from an entertainment point of view - of the more specialized like, genre directors. But those films have a lot of other qualities. It’s not techn- they’re not necessarily like, the best films.
[Someone in the background says “Mmhmm, like B movies”]
Tobias: Right! Yeah, yeah, yeah. That I really enjoy. Um, but yeah I mean I like a lot of the Italian like- old- like Fulci, like stuff like that. And not throwing him under the bus in any way, I think a lot of his films are fantastic, but they do not compare to Kubrick. It’s like a completely different level. So I sort of differentiate between like, here you have the “A grade”, big cinematic, fuckin box office success films, and then you have all of the cult films. They’re sort of two different things. And a lot of the things I grew up watching as well, that I have like a very fond memory of seeing, that I used to obsess about when I was a kid as well, like Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw Massacre is obviously – obviously that’s, even though it’s not a huge budget film, that is obviously very good. I think Terror - we say Terror in Sweden because it’s called Terror on Elm Street - but Nightmare on Elm Street, the whole Freddie series – especially the first four… three…. four films - I’d say is really cool. Every time I’m in LA I always swing by that, the house that’s on Genesee Street just because it’s like “there it is!”
[Someone in the background chuckles]
Nudge: Well I appreciate the time, man. Thank you so much for what you do. I appreciate it, and have a good show tonight.
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“what if.”
disclaimer: I feel this needs to be said first. I am not writing this to knock on anyone and their feeling between two characters. So please don’t @ me okay. I writing this purely from the stand point of what the Game it self showed. How I agree with a content creator’s choice to leave a characters relationship status as “complicated” is very fitting. Please be respectful if you choose to join the conversation on this. I wont tolerate bashing/harassing people because their view point or opinion is different than your own.
Warning: There will be Game spoilers within this post if you have not Played Twilight Princess.
I been cosplaying and Playing Twilight princess the game for 10+ years. My views changed over time clearly. However when I gent into trying to be in character (whether its through writing or cosplaying) I tend to study as much info as I can. Many don’t often go too deep into the game story or find it silly that anyone who get so passionate about things like a character’s life. When Roleplaying, its helpful studying these thing as well. in the end it up to you as the play, how you see the character. That was the intent of the game creator. So when a creative piece of work like @linkeduniverse comes out, its that own creator’s view of the character’s and their work.So when I read the part of “I’s complicated.” it got me thinking deeply ((also loads of coffee)) to process that own statement. A lot of people would like to make Twilight be depressing and pining for the loss of Midna.
In a sense, yes and no. He doesn’t truly know his feeling about the whole situation. Here is why. Midna is a very complicated character. Many just focus on her sass. Her bold behavior and attitude. I looked deeper within the game. Midna had her own agenda really. She could of cared less about what happened to light realm. (Hold your horses, not done yet). She Uses Link at the very beginning as means to and end. Once she got what she needed, she had no other intentions then to do her thing and let the light realm fall under twilight and darkness. So her “sass” as people see was mainly to tear Twilight’s own being down to do her bidding. within her Travels with him, no matter how much she tortured him and such to gather stuff for her needs, he did them. She even went as far to put blame on Zelda for not doing anything as well. Basically saying, “she did nothing.” when Zelda actually putting her sword down and being locked away and allowing Zant to take over was the most selfless thing she could do. She did it to protect her people and kingdom, to do other was was a death wish.
Midna only truly started changing her tune when it came to Twilight and Zelda selflessly doing something to save her when she was dying, due to the hand of Zant. Zelda gave up her powers and transferring it to Midna. Where Twilight went and got her help as she was dying. She came to realize how selfless the two people in the light realm are, to even help her out, when all she ever was mean and snarky towards them and could careless if they lived or died. She then started to be a bit more kinder and saw what her job as a Princess and Ruler her self needed to do. Make sure both their worlds were protected in the end. Twilight and Midna’s interactions with each other changed. Working together they were able to bring an end to the evil that plagued both realms. she Sacrificed her self in the end and then She made the choice to smash the mirror in realizing that leaving it open could cause what happened before- to happen again. She didn’t want that to happen ever again. Midna destroys the Mirror of Twilight to separate the Twilight Realm from Hyrule. Saying, "... Light and shadow can't mix, as we all know. ... See you later..." and then shatters the Mirror of Twilight with one of her tears. So that also means giving up possibility of seeing Twilight again and whatever feeling she may have developed. Leaving their parting “complicated.”
Do I think Twilight developed feeling for her? I honestly feel he had some sort of feeling, romantically? That is a huge “I dunno.”
So now onto the Linked Universe aspect on this and how it fit to how the game ends things between the two. Here this sort of the conversation I feel Twilight has when he talks about relationships, “my childhood friend is dear to me. She is never afraid to voice her thoughts to me- however harsh it can be. We grew up together. It’s understandable. It’s out of love and care. With well the other, her words were just torment and were meant to hurt and just break me down so I was her pet. Doing her bidding and being used for her agenda. She cared nothing for me till after what she saw what I was willing to do for her despite all the tearing me down. That is only then did she seem to show an once of concern and care. We then were able to work together and it because something- what exactly, not sure- i am still truly unsure what we’re were in the end and never given answers to that is what make things complicated. I got some stuff to work on to honestly be in the realm to settle down to anything.” He never talks openly to anyone about this, only hints to the other’s but Between Time and Himself- they do have much deeper conversations on this. That is why the text above is how I feel is fitting to Twilight’s feelings. He feels guilty that Legend has had to go through a similar situation, a loss of someone and not really having the answers to go with that loss. Where Legend morns, Twilight is just in a state of “I dunno.” I also get the sense of he doesn't talk about Midna much to the other as well because of his complicated feelings as well as explaining how their meeting happened to begin with. it means revealing a lot of stuff he is not ready to share. totally valid.
So I feel its was very fitting to leave thing as “complicated.” its amazing how much research and game play and reading you can to to being a character feelings to life. To many Twilight is just a character. To others, (Though fictional) are a breathing beings in their eyes. I also sense Twilight cares a lot for many people, and doesn’t feel the need to find a relationship to make his life complete. He find that through the people he is close to in a Platonic way. To get in a relationship, possibly would means needing a deep connection. (possibly asexual- maybe my own self projection there.) However yeah. this my own personal take on Twilight and Midna’s relationship.
#linked universe#twilight princess#midna x link#legend of zelda#I don't ship characters#not sure if this how Jojo is going with their own plot for twilight or not#please no ship wars
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surveys by taco-tuesdays
What steps would you take in order to track down a thief? Not too far, honestly. I accept things pretty easily so if I’ve processed that I’ve been robbed, I am most likely to just let it go. I’ll feel like shit, of course, but I would just let it go and scold myself for failing to be attentive.
What is something that one of your family member collects? My mom used to collect printed table napkins from different restaurants, but obivously she hasn’t been able to continue that for the past year and a half. My dad and brother used to collect magazines but both stopped a few years ago.
What would you do if you were able to have lunch with the queen? The journalist in me will probably just ask her questions about her everyday life, how she spends it, what she’s into and what she’s not into these days.
If you got to create a new flavor of ice cream, what would it be? This is a little hard considering there are a lot of small businesses out there already getting creative and quirky with ice cream flavors so it’s just hard to tell if a certain flavor has already been invented or not. One thing I haven’t seen, though, is curry. I’d buy a pint of that in an instant.
What are some questions that you would ask your favorite celebrity? His latest vlog finds. He once shared a video of this smaller content creator, so I’m guessing that’s what he likes doing in his spare time and I’m sure he would have a bunch of other just as interesting recommendations.
If you were able to set up a stand, what would you sell? Street food.
Would you like to go deep sea diving? Why or why not? Yeah. I’m always willing to try daring, not-the-safest-thing-in-the-world activities haha.
What would life be like if you lived on a cloud? The realist in me just wants to say I’d plummet straight to the ground.
What would you find at the top of a magic beanstalk? Idk, my creativity can’t be bothered to be challenged.
What is one food you would not want to have rain down from the sky? Durian. It would hurt and stink like shit.
Which animal's characteristics are similar to your own personality? I don’t really assign sets of personalities to animals.
If you were in a department store, which aisle would you check out first? I personally still go for the toys/video games section first HAHAHA
What are some of your hobbies? They include going to museums, exploring new food and restaurants, traveling to different cities and countries, and reading about history.
You've opened a store that only sells purple items - what do you sell? BTS merch hahahahah duhhhh
What is something important that you've lost, and did you ever find it? I lost a rosary that came straight from the Vatican. No, I never found it again. I feel bad about it not because it’s a religious object, but because it came from my grandma.
Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel? I mean, I had to change schools when I was moving up from high school to college, but I’ve never changed schools within the same chapter of my studies, like in the middle of elementary or high school. But to answer the question, it had been a very liberating and empowering experience. I hated the rules in my Catholic school and there were so many elements from that place that made me hide so much about myself. The fact that I could wear shorts and curse and attend rallies and cut class and make my own class schedules in college felt incredibly freeing and satisfying.
What would've happened if Cinderella never went to the ball? See magic beanstalk question.
If you had one day to do anything at all, what would you choose? I would drive to Tagaytay and find a cozy restaurant and eaaaaatttt awaaaayyyy.
What are a few of your favorite songs? I really really like Singularity by V, Over the Hills by Hayley Williams, and So Far Away by Agust D and Suran.
Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? All the time. I never wrote down homework.
--
If you were a witch, what kind of a spell would you cast? On who? I don’t care about casting spells on people. I just want my cravings to show up in the snap of a finger hahaha. Can that be part of a witch’s scope of work? Kjdgfhsdfskjfhs
Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why? I wouldn’t know. I experience neither over here.
What is your favorite sport to play? What about watch? Table tennis. Favorite to watch would be either tennis or pro wrestling.
Have you ever gone on a cruise before? To where? Yeah. It was an East Asian cruise so I traveled to Shanghai, Jeju, and Fukuoka.
What would you do if you were invisible for a day? Probably go to the bigger houses in the village and see how fancy they get.
Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Typhoon, floods. A lot of places are incredibly prone to flooding, so as long as it’s been raining super hard the chances for a class suspension will get high.
What types of transportation do you think we will see in the future? I dunno. It seems like we’re at that point where everything is in the process of being invented or perfected already.
What were some of your toys you always played with when you were little? I liked kitchen sets and anything with lots of buttons, so like toy telephones or cash registers.
If you were a movie star, what would a day in your life be like? I have no clue apart from the fact that I’m just glad I would assumedly have more than enough money to buy whatever I’m craving whenever I want hahaha.
If you invented a time machine, what year would you like to go to, and why? Realistically I wouldn’t change a thing; but if I had to answer this question I’d go back to 2016 and never ask out Gab a second time, so that the next four years wouldn’t end up being such a waste of my time.
What is your favorite holiday and why? I don’t have one. I’m not a big holiday ~celebrator.
What is something that you like to do while on vacation? Try food I’ve never tried before. The more unconventional or obscure, the better.
If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Eh, don’t really have anyone in mind.
What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city? There’s the waterfalls in the upper part of the city – I’m just not sure if it’s still a popular spot but it certainly was when I was a kid. There’s also an art museum that I’m certain is a lot more frequented now.
What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult? Curry.
How would having no electricity affect your daily routine? I wouldn’t be able to attend work, at least not for the whole day. It would also feel a lot warmer without the electric fan, which would in turn make me cranky.
If you had one wish, what would it be? A renovated room with a dedicated corner for all my merch.
Say someone gives you a magic sweater. What happens when you wear it? Idk.
If you built a new city, how would you convince people to move there? I wouldn’t.
What is one of your favorite movies? Why is it one of your favorites? Two for the Road. It has Audrey Hepburn, it’s a realistic rom-com, and the chemistry between the two leads is superb.
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If you were given a certain amount of time to live, would you want to know? Yeah for sure, I would want to know in a heartbeat.
What would you do if you were able to stop time? I don’t know what I would do, but that would be a nice...opportunity, I guess? to experiment with or try out certain decisions and see how well or unwell they would work out to be. So that when time resumes, I’d know better on how to best handle a situation.
Do you think that long distance relationships would be for you? I wouldn’t actively go for it, but I’m not shutting down the possibility either.
Is there a popular social media platform that you don't have an account for? I have one for all the main ones, I think. Even Instagram, I made an account not too long ago to finally join the platform.
How old were you when you found out about Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc? I never knew the Easter Bunny was a thing until I started taking these surveys at like 14. I never really believed in Santa either, and the only figure I was super disappointed to learn that it didn’t exist was the tooth fairy.
Who is your favorite Disney Princess? Rapunzel.
Which freaks you out more - clowns or porcelain dolls? Porcelain dolls. They look more innocent, which somehow makes them creepier.
What was the last mistake that you learned from? Hm, just a minor work thing that would be too complicated to explain here.
Do you prefer "regular pencils" or mechanical ones? Why? Regular. I always break off the tips of mechanical pencils.
What is one little-known music artist you'd recommend? Andi made me listen to The Drums recently and I’ve been loving their sound so far; they would be perfect on a road trip. I’ve only listened to one album, though.
What is your favorite Pixar film? Toy Story!
Who was the last person to send you any sort of message on social media? Angela sent me a video meme.
Where were you on September 11th, 2001? I don’t know...probably already being put to bed. Either way I wasn’t fully conscious yet as I had only been 3 and living on the other side of the planet.
Name your favorite green vegetable. Broccoli, spinach, bell peppers, or asparagus. IDK I love veggies hahahaha
Could you handle a friends with benefits type of situation? Not for me. I’m not even into sex.
Do you prefer using a brush or a comb on your hair? Comb.
What's your favorite flavor of potato chips? SALTED EGG. I’m obsessed; I had like five bags this week alone.
Would you rather build a snowman or a snow fort? Why? I dunno; I’ve never tried making either.
At what age do you believe children should begin having screen time? I’m not too sure at this point, but I do know I don’t plan on being too strict with my kids. I’d let them watch stuff on an iPad from like age 3 or 4, but one thing I would change from how I was raised is putting a limit on their screen time, maybe half an hour to an hour a day.
If you had to give a speech, what would it be on? I’d be down for any topic as long as I was given ample time to research, honestly. I like public speaking.
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The Boy’s No Good: Chapter 1
Note: This story is a sequel to All In Your Head
TW: Emotional abuse Beast Boy was feeling… excited? Maybe? He wasn’t sure exactly what he was feeling right now, but he was feeling it, because today was definitely a special day; today was the day that Raven brought her boyfriend to the tower. Her boyfriend? You fool, YOU should be her mate! He was really happy for her; she’d had to deal with so much, it was nice to know that she had someone. She could be yours if you weren’t such a coward! His Beast… wasn’t quite so supportive. She hates you. And his anxiety issues were, as always, unhelpful. But honestly, he didn’t care; Raven was an amazing woman, and she deserved to be happy. If Raven’s mysterious boyfriend could manage that then he was alright in Beast Boy’s books.
Pathetic! You spent years trying to make her smile; years! And now someone else was having some better luck; just as long as she had a reason to smile. It’s not as though you’d ever be that reason. He really needed to meditate; ever since Raven taught him the basics he’d come to rely on it to keep himself centred. It wasn’t a daily thing like in Raven’s case, just when he really felt like he needed to; usually about three times a week.
About an hour later, Beast Boy was feeling a lot better; his head was much clearer, and his Beast seemed to have gotten the message and shut the hell up. Funnily enough, Raven seemed to be the opposite of his relative calm; it was honestly a novel experience. She was pacing back and forth, scowling and muttering to herself; the picture of anxiety.
“He’ll be here any minute, so be on your best behaviour, okay?” Raven turned to face their leader. “Nightwing, no interrogating him.”
“I already said I wouldn’t!” Nightwing chuckled; he’d mellowed out more than a little. Beast Boy suspected Starfire was the cause.
“Cyborg, take it easy on the ‘protective big brother’ act this time.”
“I know, I know.” He grinned sheepishly. “Sorry again about the goth kid.”
“Starfire, I know that this is difficult, but please don’t hug him too tightly.”
“I will endeavour to avoid causing any harm or discomfort.” Starfire replied solemnly.
“And Beast Boy…” He braced himself; this was likely to be thorough. “You’re probably fine.”
“Wait, seriously?” Beast Boy asked, mildly stunned.
Raven shrugged. “You’re good at making friends. I trust you.”
“I, uh… I won’t let you down.” Said Beast Boy, blushing faintly.
“I know you won’t,” replied Raven. The doorbell rang. “He’s here,” she noted, making a beeline for the door. After a moment, she walked back in, a man on her arm. “Guys, I’d like you to meet Leopold.”
He was, in Beast Boy’s inexpert estimation, handsome enough. Well, if you liked 6’2��, broad shoulders, lean muscles (they’re all for show) and a strong jawline; personally, Beast Boy considered the whole ‘classically handsome’ look to be kind of overrated. That said, he could see the appeal of those big, cobalt-blue eyes and that swept-back chestnut-brown hair, at least in theory. But he supposed that, if you were looking for the sort of conventionally attractive guy who had tanned skin and perfectly straight white (blunt) teeth, Leopold wasn’t too shabby.
To his surprise, Leopold went right past the other Titans and walked right up to Beast Boy, hand extended. “It’s great to finally meet you; Raven’s told me so much about you.”
“That’s a loaded sentence,” Beast Boy quipped, shaking Leopold’s hand. It practically went without saying that Leopold had the sort of firm handshake that was typically associated with honesty and overall strength of character. And of course he had a relaxed, disarming smile; at this point, anything else would have been ridiculous.
“Relax,” Leopold chuckled. “It’s mostly been good things.” There was no denying it; Leopold had some serious charisma. Beast Boy had known the guy for less than two minutes and he already liked him. And yet… something about him felt a little off; Beast Boy had learned to trust his instincts, and they were telling him that something was wrong.
“So Leopold, how did you and Raven do the meeting?” Starfire asked politely.
“We met at the library,” He explained. “Our hands touched when we both reached for Fear and Trembling, we got into a conversation, and suddenly it was closing time.”
“We spent three hours talking philosophy,” Raven said, a tiny smile on her face. “After that, I figured I’d take a chance and ask him out.”
“That sounds about right,” Nightwing chuckled. “Flirting over Kierkegaard.”
“Raven’s nothing if not consistent.” Said Cyborg.
“I just don’t get why no-one beat me to it,” said Leopold. “With her brains and beauty, I couldn’t believe she was single.”
“I believe we have all expressed similar opinions.” Said Starfire.
“The dudes in this town are idiots.” Beast Boy said, firmly and confidently.
“Yeah, but seriously; it’s just so weird!” Leopold exclaimed. “Normally when a girl like Raven’s single, you expect there to be something wrong with them.”
“Yeah, well I’m not exactly perfect,” said Raven. “I’ve got a few issues.”
“Well obviously, but I mean something wrong. Like, ‘everyone’s afraid to talk to you’ level stuff.”
“So what do you do for a living?” Beast Boy asked brightly, eager to change the subject after seeing Raven’s discomfort.
“Well I’m working in marketing at the moment, but I’ve also been shopping some scripts around.” Successful and creative.
“What are your scripts about?” Asked Cyborg.
“Well, my favourite’s about a brilliant, misunderstood young man struggling to make it as an artist.” Well, not THAT creative.
“Sounds great.” Beast Boy managed after a second. What must his other scripts be? A genius who’s a prick? A gay couple tragically dying for two hours of runtime? Hack. It occurred to Beast Boy that, for an entity originally composed of raw instinct, the Beast had gotten pretty good at sarcasm.
“Very classic.” Nightwing noted, a barely audible tremor in his voice telling Beast Boy that he was struggling not to laugh.
“I’m already working on a few changes though;” He looked fondly at Raven. “The words have just come so much easier since we started dating. I think she might be my muse.”
“That is very sweet,” said Starfire warmly.
Leopold shrugged. “I’m just saying how I feel.”
They made conversation for another twenty minutes before Raven announced that she and Leopold were heading out. Moving quickly, Beast Boy was able to stop Leopold before he left the tower, the two of them alone in the lobby. “Hey Leo, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure,” said Leopold. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Look, I know this might sound a little weird but… just be good to her, okay?” He sighed. “Raven’s had a tough life, especially when it comes to love, so don’t hurt her.”
“Understood,” said Leopold. “I’ll take care of her. But since you’re here, I have to ask… do you have a thing for Raven?”
“WHAT?!” Beast Boy’s eyes bugged out of his skull.
“It’s just that, you know, you just walked right up to me, did the whole ‘don’t hurt her’ bit; feels kind of like you’re into her. Seriously, I’m getting some serious ‘unrequited love’ vibes.” His features arranged themselves into a confident, self-important smirk. “I’m a scriptwriter, after all; we know about this kind of thing.” Asshole.
“Relax dude, you’ve got nothing to worry about from me.”
Leopold’s shoulders sagged with relief. “Okay then; sorry if I got weird for a minute there. I know it’s dumb, but sometimes I get a little territorial about stuff like this. It’s like an instinct or something.” His face split into a grin. “I guess you’d know all about that, huh?”
“About what?”
“You know, instincts and stuff!” He clapped a hand on Beast Boy’s back, a little harder than necessary. “I figure you’re the expert when it comes to raw animal impulse.”
“Yeah,” Beast Boy chuckled awkwardly. Is he mocking us? How DARE he?! Tear him to shreds! “Total expert.”
“So,” said Cyborg, his tone measured. “Leopold.”
“He seems nice enough.” Nightwing observed.
“Indeed,” said Starfire.
“Sure,” agreed Beast Boy. “But… did he seem kind of weird to you?”
“Weird?” Cyborg’s eyebrow shot up; he’d long ago learned to trust Beast Boy’s instincts.
“I dunno, I just got kind of a weird feeling from him. And the Beast really didn’t like him.”
That was worrying; as Cyborg understood it, the Beast wasn’t especially interested in most people; it viewed the world in the basic categories of friends, threats, and Raven, who it was strangely obsessed with protecting… oh. Oh! “What’s the matter grass stain?” Cyborg leered. “Feelin’ a little territorial?”
“Come on, dude!” Beast Boy exclaimed. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation here!”
“A serious conversation about Raven.” Cyborg replied, grinning hugely.
“That’s no surprise,” Nightwing quipped. “All his serious conversations are about Raven.”
“I think it is quite sweet, if misguided.” Opined Starfire, smiling indulgently.
“It’s not like that!” Beast Boy squeaked, blushing faintly. “The Beast just wants her to be okay; I just want her to be okay!”
As tempting as it was to keep teasing his best friend, Cyborg knew it was time to ease up a little. “Okay, so you’re sayin’ your upstairs roomie doesn’t like Raven’s boyfriend, so you’re feeling a little bit of totally platonic concern.” The sarcasm in Cyborg’s voice made it clear just how ‘platonic’ he thought BB’s thought process was. “Well, your instincts are usually good, so I think I’ll run a quick background check on the guy; criminal record, news headlines, that kind of thing.”
“He had an East Coast accent,” Nightwing noted, slipping effortlessly into ‘detective mode’. “Almost a Gotham, but not quite. Considering the Germanic name, I’m guessing Bludhaven; I’ll ask around with my contacts, see if anyone dangerous matching his description skipped town in the last couple of years.”
“And I will do the talking with some of the other Titans ladies,” Starfire offered. “We shall keep an eye out for untoward behaviour. I assume you would prefer that Raven not be informed of your concern?”
Beast Boy shrugged. “I don’t want to worry her if it turns out to be nothing.”
Starfire smiled warmly. “I keep my lip fastened around friend Raven.”
“That went better than expected,” said Raven. “Nobody did anything weird or stupid, and they all seemed to like you.”
“I don’t know about that,” said Leopold. “I was getting kind of a weird vibe from Beast Boy; I don’t think he likes me much.”
“Seriously?” Raven could hardly believe what she was hearing. “Weird; Beast Boy usually gets along okay with pretty much everyone.
“Yeah, well he seemed kind of… off around me, like he was on edge or something. Said some real weird crap to me just before I left.”
“Weird?”
Leopold shrugged. “I’m not sure, but I think he might have threatened me.”
“He threatened you?” Raven asked, incredulous. “That’s… crazy.”
“Like I said, real weird.”
“Don’t worry about it,” said Raven. “I’ll talk to him about it.”
Leopold smiled. “Thanks for that Raven. You’re the best.”
Well, that marks the end of chapter one! I hope you enjoyed it and, just for laughs, here’s a little game you can play; it’s called “spot the red flags”. Just read through the chapter looking for things that Leopold says or does that feels like a red flag to you, list them in the comments, and if you spot the most red flags by the time I start the next chapter, you win! Winners will be acknowledged every chapter, so have fun!
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Survey #320
we on a spree today!
Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? Give me the happiness, please. What happened the last time you cried? I was having a PTSD episode. What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something? I think the most nervous I've ever been was in elementary school when I won the D.A.R.E. essay contest and had to read my paper in front of the whole 4th and 5th grade in the gym. There may be something else, though, there's just a LOT of instances where I've been an anxious mess. What was the greatest television show of all time? Meerkat Manor, man. I canNOT wait for it to resume, I believe this summer. What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it? Maybe petting a meerkat, particularly a descendant of a Meerkat Manor character, Flower Whiskers in specific. I would cry, and that is a promise. I am just... so thankful for those little creatures. Because of them, I've met so many irreplacable friends and developed a hobby that was a way to dump my creativity into since I was what, 10 years old? What celebrity would you trade lives with? BITCH let me be Amy Nelson (Mark's gf) for OBVIOUS REASONS. Haha on a serious note though she is an INCREDIBLE person that I'm so glad Mark found. :'''') What story do your friends still give you crap about? Nothing, really. What is your weirdest dealbreaker? I'unno... define a "weird" dealbreaker. I find mine to be pretty reasonable. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day? Well, look at myself in a mirror? See how I look. What is the weirdest quirk your family has? We have this thing where we say "I love you mostest period" at random to imply we love the other person more than they could love us, indisputably. How old is the last person you kissed on the cheek or lips? On the cheek, it was either my niece or nephew, who are 4 and 6. The person I last kissed on the lips is 22. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Not anymore, no. I don't wear jeans. Do you think you could live with your best friend? I would fuckin LOVE to. Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around? I'm most comfortable with myself around Sara. What were you doing when you found out Michael Jackson was dead? I was swimming in the pool while Dad was grilling lunch. The last person you kissed, was it a drunken or sober? Sober. Have you ever introduced yourself with a name other than your own? Online, I've introduced myself with my account name, but generally, I say I'm Brittany. Are any of your siblings married? I don't know about the half-sister I don't know, but two are married, and one is engaged. Do you use an umbrella when it rains? Not usually, no. When was the last time you had a lot of fun? A lot of fun? That's one damn good question. Probably not since I last hung out with Sara. The last time you cried, who was there to comfort you? I was alone. What was your most recent reason for smiling / laughing? I chuckled at something in a John Wolfe video. Are you attracted to the last person you talked to? Um, that would be my mother. So no. Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you? It's pretty, but I hate having it. It's one of the most common white chick middle names ever. Are your toenails painted? No; I don't paint my nails. When was the last time you couldn't stop laughing? Why? Probably a funny YT video, I dunno. Any ways in which you're very different from the person you love/like? We have some differing political views. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? The timing felt right and I love(d) her. Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Yeah. Who was the last person’s voice you heard? Besides via YouTube, my mom's. Who do you get along with best in your family? Mom. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? Oh, absolutely my mother. Has your phone ever gone off in the middle of a class at school? Oh god no, I'd die. The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I never do. It adds oil to your hair, and mine is naturally oily enough. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? DARK. Do you have an item of clothing that reminds you of someone? Tell me about it, and the person it reminds you of. I have a good handful of those. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I just listen, usually. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Does more than one person like you? *shrug* You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? I fucking hate that my answer is "Jason." If your hair is long, would you ever think about having it cut short? Or, if it’s short, would you like to grow it long? As far as I'm concerned, my hair will never be long again. I love it so much more short. What if you were told that your life has to stay exactly as it is right now, and nothing will ever change? How would you feel about that? I'd... honestly probably kill myself. I don't know that with certainty, but yeah. I'd be pretty damn devastated. What’s the most expensive thing you own? Probably my snake. Name something you really can’t wait for? MAY!!!!!!! GIMME MY TATTOOOOOOOO!!!!! What do you want in your future? E.g marraige, kids… A great career, a healthy and permanent relationship, lots of pets, adventure, life satisfaction... Got any major celeb crushes? m a r k e d w a r d f i s c h b a c h Do you have any glow-in-the-dark items in your room? If so what? No. Have you ever stalked anybody? Yeesh, no. If you could be on any TV show, which would it be and why? I'll just hypothetically say I WANTED to be on television for this, because irl, I don't. Ummm. I guess That '70s Show, because I love the '70s, and it'd be so cool to have a big group of friends like that. What is your favorite brand of hairspray? I don't use hairspray. What is the last thing you tripped over? Our doorstep, lmao. Do you were glasses or contacts? If so what color are your frames/contacts? I wear black-rimmed glasses. Do you like stickers? If so what kinds do you like? Yeah. I used to collect them as a kid and put them all over my dresser. Do you like coloring? Yes. What is in your backyard? Some bushes and a shed. Maybe a tree. I've been out there like, once. Do you own a globe? No. What is your favorite wild cat? Snow leopards are the prettiest, imo. As animals in general, I find lions the most interesting. How many continents have you been to, and which ones? I've never left North America. How many continents has your best friend been to, and which ones? She hasn't, either. How many continents has your dad been to, and which ones? Same as above. Have you ever been so terrified that you felt paralyzed? Yep. What’s a place you have a strong emotional connection to? The community college I first went to. Particularly where Jason and I took his senior prom pictures. Who was the last relative you visited? Grammy, before she passed away. My uncle was with her, too. Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? Oh, certainly. I wonder all the time what would have happened if Jason didn't leave. I could still be horribly depressed, or dead, considering ultimately, the event led to me finding the help I so desperately needed. Or maybe I'd be perfectly happy with kids and know how to be an actual adult. I was only a teenager, and yet with him, I never felt more mature and just... capable. When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? Yes. Have you ever bought something really expensive and ended up returning it? I don't believe so. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? Amy Lee is the brazenly obvious answer. What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Metal, rock, indie. Same general category, I know, but it's almost all I listen to. Is there anything you’d like to say to your last ex? We're best friends, and I talk to her regularly, so I can tell her anything. Where did you buy your dishes from? No clue. We've had the same plates and bowls I think my entire life. Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? No. Have you ever been on a ship? Boats, yeah. I think ships are just the really big ones, right? Sails and all? Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? No. Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? David Lee Roth. He's an arrogant bastard, but boy can he sing. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? I don't know. Maybe the Joker. Do you watch The Office? Gossip Girl? Grey’s Anatomy? None of 'em. Name someone you know with a birthday in December: Sara! What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. What is your dad’s name? Kenneth, but he's just called "Ken." When was the last time you slept in a bed with someone else? Not since I last visited Sara. Do you have any indoor pets? Both my pets are indoors. How do you feel about teenagers claiming to be in love? It's entirely possible. I was; nobody could EVER convince me I wasn't. Are you dating anyone? If so, for how long? No. Do you know anyone with Down's Syndrome? I think so? What animal that is endangered is your favorite? Oh yikes, I don't know. I don't really know every endangered animal, y'know, and I love all animals SO much. Maybe elephants or tigers. How do you believe the Earth and life on it was created? I feel like there was SOME sort of ultimate intelligence that created the universe, but I don't know anything about it/him/her/whatever. Then I believe in evolution. Basically, some sort of conscious creation, and then let life do its thing. What’s your religion? I don't have one. You could say theism, but is that even a proper religion? Do you like your teeth? No. During my worst depression, I was very bad at taking care of them, and now they have a yellowish tint. Have you considered getting contacts that change your eyecolor? What color? Oh yes, I've wanted to have more sapphire blue eyes. Do you wish you lived somewhere else? Yes. Living in the suburbs just isn't my jam, but it works for right now. What’s the craziest color you’ve seen on a house? I think I've seen a pink house before? Don’t you hate the texture of lotion on your skin? Yes. What’s the prettiest cat you have seen? There's this brown British Longhair with beautiful green eyes that I adore on social media. Name's Smoothie. What is your favorite doughnut? Chocolate frosted or glazed. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? No. What is your favorite party game? Man, I don't even know popular party games, haha. Do you or your parents rake your yard? Neither of us do. No matter where we've lived, ever since Dad left, no one rakes. Do you buy drugstore make-up or high-end make-up? We always buy drugstore makeup. What’s the last good love story you read? I don't think I've read a love story since The Notebook. Do you own a lava lamp or disco ball? No, but I wish I had a lava lamp. When was the last time you went to the roller rink? It's been many years. Do you own a kaleidoscope? No. I did as a kid, though. Have you ever made an inspiration board for your room? No, but I absolutely plan to once I get a big enough board to hang on the wall, and my "office" is cleaned out. I want that room to be full of motivation. Who is the best-looking male celebrity? Take a wild guess. Where would you like to travel to next? Yellowstone. I want to spread Teddy's ashes there in an area with wolves to rest in his roots. Less importantly, I want to take looooooaaaaaaaddddddsssss of photographs. Where are three places you go to relax? Just my room, really. If you became famous, would you change your name to something exotic? No. What color is your favorite pair of shorts? I don't wear shorts, ever. List five items on your current wardrobe wish list. I've wanted a black, studded leather jacket since I was in high school. I also really want big, spiked leather boots, too. Then there's tons of band tees I want. Who makes great song covers on YouTube? JONATHAN YOUNG!!!!!!! GO!!!!!!!!! LISTEN TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!! Who is one of the best songwriters? Otep Shamaya. Painting or drawing? I strongly prefer drawing. Painting that shows brushstrokes or painting that looks like a photograph? The latter. The former can be quite stylistic, though. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair, but if you mean my actual body, my chest. Brown or white egg? I don't even know the flavor difference. Favorite time of year? October-December. Do you own a gun? I legally can't due to a suicidal history. Have you ever been in a castle? Excluding the Disney World castle, no. Are you a clingy person when it comes to relationships? I honestly am. Have you ever been bitten so hard that there teeth marks were there after? I mean, I've had hickeys before. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) Yes. If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do? Call the cops and stay with it until they arrived. What is the most personal question you have ever been asked? I'd rather not repeat it. When was the last time you wished time would move faster? Literally every waking moment of my life. It's so sad, thinking about it. I'm just rushing my life away. Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? No. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. Do you enjoy hearing birds chirp? I do. Have you ever hiked a mountain? No. Where did you meet your first crush? School. Who is your favorite little girl? My sweetheart niece. What is your favorite song by the last band you listened to? Oh boy, don't make me pick. Does your best friend have kids? No; she doesn't want any, either. Where did you go the last time you drove for longer than an hour? The beach, I think. If you were pregnant, would you want a boy or a girl? Hypothetically, a girl. How often do you get fountain drinks from a gas station? Rarely, but every now and again. Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Mufasa. What junk food can you never pass up? Donuts came to mind first. But I think that's because I'm craving donuts, haha. Have you ever had a UTI? Yeah, multiple. I don't drink nearly enough water. I've had one so bad my kidneys hurt like a bitch. What's the last color you dyed your hair? Red.
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Motherfluffer
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Pairing(s): Prinxieceit(?) (Roman | Creativity + Virgil | Anxiety + Janus | Deceit), Intrulogicaliceit(?) (Remus | Dark Creativity + Logan | Logic + Patton | Morality + Janus | Deceit), idk the proper ship names but tbh it’s just Janus + everyone honestly
Rating: Teen (for some swearing)
Content Warning(s): swearing, teasing, lemme know if there are any I should add bc I got nuthin’ atm lol
Length: 4,239 words
Brief Summary: A bullet fic about Janus’ hair, because this is one of the important things in life obviously. (Which, for the other five sides, it really is. Duh.)
TS Masterlist + AO3 Links
*
SO
under his hat, Janus actually has really, really fluffy hair
it’s nice and soft and puffy and glossy and it’s honestly fricking beautiful because he takes so much pride in his appearance as a whole that he can’t just not take care of his hair, even if he hates it
which, he does, for that matter, hate his hair
it’s just...yeah, it looks nice, and it feels nice, but...it’s so fluffy and cute, and Janus of all people is most certainly not supposed to be cute, so in that it is utterly detestible, Janus thinks
hence why he is always wearing his bowler hat
it’s just seemingly nonsensical that deceit of all sides would have a mess of floof atop his head. it doesn’t look very serious or scary or snake-y at all, it doesn’t suit him whatsoever, and the decided lack of aesthetic of it all is horrid, if you ask Janus
(not that anyone would ask Janus, because none of the other sides know about his hair, nor will they ever know about it if Janus gets his way with it)
((he doesn’t. get his way with it, that is))
-
our story begins with that first Sanders Sides Asides, in which Roman steals Janus’ hat to use when they’re “voting” on which movie to watch together
contrary to popular belief, Janus does actually kinda-sorta want to join them all for movie night
(Frozen isn’t good, he totally hates it, he doesn’t identify with Hans at all and he totally doesn’t hate Disney for doing Hans a dirty with their last-minute decision to turn him into a bad guy)
besides, even Remus is going to this movie night thing, for goshsake
and even if the others still don’t really like him, surely they can tolerate being in the same vicinity as Janus if he’s quiet and shuts up and just watches the movie, right??
(he doesn’t even have to sit with them on the couch or hell, he doesn’t even have to be in the living room at all. he can just stand in the kitchen or sit on the stairs and watch from there if that makes them all feel better)
-
so Janus is preparing to get ready for the movie night
he’s wearing his darkest black capelet and his nicest silk yellow shirt and the slacks he knows make his butt look best, and he’s even doing actual fancyish makeup too to top it all off. and if asked he’ll say it’s just because Thomas had been planning on going out for the night, hadn’t he
(it’s not because he cares what the other sides think of him and how he looks. it’s not because they’re all stupidly attractive without even trying and because he’ll never be able to measure up to all that because of his goddamned snake face. it’s not because he wants to impress them. it’s not)
and at last, Janus is ready to ascend into the real world and descend down the stairs in swirls of darkness to rival even Virgil and dramatics to rival even Roman’s
and he goes to grab his beloved black bowler hat with the satin ribbon from its usual spot on a peg by his bedroom door and it’s not there where is it where—
Janus searches high and low and left and right and everywhere in his room he could think it would be and even some weird places, like the top of his wardrobe and in the toilet in his bathroom and under the trash can (not just in it, under) but he, he just can’t find it anywhere, where could it possibly have gone??
and he’s not like Remus or Roman he can’t just Imagine one into Being like they can so he doesn’t have anything else to cover his hair
(he’s not about to cry he’s not)
so when he hears the others thunder by his room and sink out to go watch movies with Thomas he thinks about sinking out with them, regardless of whether his hair is visible or not, but he shakes his head violently because he can’t he just can’t, the others still don’t really like him and they’ll just make fun of him and they won’t take him seriously anymore and it’s taken so much work fitting into this ominous villain persona just to get them to halfway listen to him already
(and he isn’t actually crying now he isn’t)
-
eventually he calms down enough to appear in the real world at the top of Thomas’ stairs, deciding to call out to the others at a break between movies, just to ask if anyone’s seen his hat without letting them really see him
and what should he see when he peeps out
but his hat
and it’s clutched in Roman’s attractive grubby hands
and he gets swept away in his anger at Roman for taking his precious hat without at least asking first, especially when he can literally just conjure his own fucking hat, dammit—so without thinking, Janus marches into the living room to take it back
he loses steam halfway down the stairs and shit he’s regretting his emotion-ridden decision but it’s too late to go back now
and even though Janus is pressing down on his hair and trying to hide it, it’s miserably obvious that his hair is a soft floofy mess even as his demeanor and expression are neither soft nor floofy
the others all stare and gape at his head, then they all exchange a Look with each other and he sees it and he knows what it must mean, he knows
he rushes out some sort of scolding at Roman, he’s not even sure what he said, really, just anything to distract them from his hair, only it doesn’t work, they’re still staring, why won’t they stop staring
he leaves the room as quickly as he can, leaving all dignity behind in his rush
but he can’t help but linger at the top of the stairs
-
Janus listens in on the others with bated breath and a sinking feeling in his chest, worried that they’re going to say something about his hair and yet he’s too much of a masochist to try and ignore it and leave
“oh. my gosh,” Patton says in awe, and he must be so in awe at how stupid Janus looks with his hair, he must be wondering how it’s even possible for someone to look so absurdly pathetic
(spoiler alert: nopenopenope. Patton trying to figure out how he never realized just how attractive Janus is)
“did you see his hair??” Roman says incredulously, and there’s some unknown emotion tightly contained in his voice. he must be trying hard not to burst into that boisterous laughter of his. Janus privately doesn’t think he looks all that bad, really, even with his scales and the halo of hair that surrounds him, but of course Roman of all people would find it especially silly and use it against him
(actually, Roman’s really just trying hard not to fangirl. that’s pure gay panic he’s trying to tamp down on babey)
“that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you dorks!” Remus says and god, that feels like a slap in the face to Janus. Remus ratted him out? just like that?? they’d been each other’s only friend for years and then Remus goes and gets accepted-ish by the light sides and then that’s it. just like that, huh.
(fuck that betrayal stings like nothing he’s felt before but he’s not going to let on about that)
Janus watches as the other sides clump together and begin discussing something even his most excellent snakey hearing can’t pick up, but he’s sure they’re insulting him and making fun of his hair
(spoiler alert: they’re actually just making a game plan to figure out how they can all touch his floofy hair and using Thomas as a sounding board)
and eventually he hears the other sides burst into laughter
which Janus, listening in, hears
and he’s hurt because he always knew they wouldn’t take him seriously how he is, things like that are the very reason he wore his hat in the first place, why did stupid fucking Roman have to take his hat and force him to reveal himself like this??
Janus slinks off, shoving the hat back down on his head, hard
and if he’s kinda heartbroken over it all, no way in hell is he about to acknowledge it
-
the whole rest of it just follows all the other sides just absolutely becoming obsessed with Janus’ hair and subsequently falling in love with him lmao
after that one time Roman took Janus’ hat, everyone just keeps trying to steal his hat the second he lays it down or takes it off for the night
(Patton shoves an entire pack of gum in his mouth all at once, cheeks puffed up like a chipmunk’s, and then as he passes Janus lying down and blep-ing in the afternoon sun he “accidentally” spits it all out on his hat just to get Janus to take it off to clean it.)
((he blinks once. once. once and Patton has torn it away out of his hands, reaching out a hand and mussing up Janus’ already-messy hat hair, and then dancing just out of reach, promising to go clean it for him as an “apology”))
so Janus starts wearing his hat more and more and more, regardless of the circumstances the others keep trying to catch him under
(“gee, isn’t it hot in the mindscape today!” Roman pants, shirtless and sweating his ass off, after having literally turned the heater up to eighty-four fucking degrees Farenheit, right as Janus watched him. “sure makes you wanna shed a few layers of clothing. hahaha. like...oh, I dunno, maybe that hat of yours...? and, ahm, maybe that lil cape and mmmaybeee your shirt too pretty pretty please?”)
((which, Janus does end up removing his shirt, only because Roman promises him half the money he bet Virgil on Janus having a six pack—and who knows why Roman’s talking to boyfriend about another man’s abs but hey, Janus isn’t one to judge—but the bowler hat stays firmly placed on top of his head))
(((that day his wallet expands by twenty bucks, and his satisfaction expands immeasurably when he sees Virgil next and the anxious side’s face immediately flushes dark red)))
((((yeah, that’s what you missed out on when you left the dark sides, ya lil bitch. ha))))
-
the other sides’ ploys to get his hat off of him and his hair in fluffing distance spiral more and more and more
once he even catches Logan—yeah, that’s right, stupid McSerious Mr. Logan N. Sanders (the N stands for Necktie)—trying to head a goddamn sting operation with his boyfriends, trying to take the hat from right off his head while Janus is reading in the mindscape’s living room
(there was a fishing pole, a grappling hook, a pair of Virgil’s surprisingly emo underpants, and an exorbitant amount of Cheez-Its involved and Janus really, really regrets learning this information)
((he totally steals that pair of MCR boxers when the Logan, Patton, and Remus aren’t looking though))
.
.
.
anyways
ahem
petty panty theivery aside, the other sides are all getting increasingly more desperate, and they’re not even bothering to hide it at this point, even
and Janus just doesn’t get why they’re trying so hard to embarrass him and insult him like this
like, maybe it’s because he totally schooled them after the whole wedding fiasco??
because Thomas did accept him, and technically the others did too, no matter how grudgingly, but he supposes that Thomas accepting him could have forced everyone else’s hands, so maybe this is their way of making fun of him even as they’re not supposed to verbally insult him anymore??
but regardless of why they’re doing it, now Janus has to take to wearing his hat everywhere
like, literally everywhere, or else it’ll be stolen if he so much as blinks or takes his eyes and hands off it for even a second
literally
remus tries to sneak up on him in the shower and grab his hat off the counter only to find a drenched Janus, fully naked save for the bowler hat, glaring sourly at him from the shower as he attempts to stealthily creep into the bathroom
he even has to wear the hat places like in bed, because otherwise the others Will take the opportunity to steal it
once he wakes up to Patton staring at him, the moral side’s eyes wide as he lays on the other side of his bed, one of his arms reaching out to Janus’ head and fucking caressing his hair
(and no, his stomach does Not do weird flips at that, it doesn’t)
((will he ever actually start to believe these lies he’s telling himself??))
-
everyone keeps finding more and more and more ridiculous ways to get Janus to take off his hat and more and more ridiculous places to accidentally “misplace” it
Janus still is convinced that they’re pulling all of this shit just because they wanna laugh at his hair and insult him
(but no! it is because they are all useless gays that rly rly rly like the floof of hairs on his head)
at some point Patton or Roman or someone literally just. fucking freezes his hat in a block of ice in the freezer
it is at this point that Janus decides he has had Enough
and at this point he can’t even lie to himself anymore and say that he isn’t crying
(and thank god he found his hat when going down to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and not the following morning at breakfast, because then the others would see him so fragile like that and even if they’ve already seen his stupid fucking hair they certainly don’t deserve to see him this vulnerable)
but he carries the tub of ice with his precious hat in it back to his room, glass of water forgotten
and he’s silent but he’s shaking and he’s sobbing and he just. doesn’t know what to do anymore in response to any of this
because he’s just so, so tired of the others teasing him like this and he doesn’t know if it’s normal or not because he has no prior experience with them
—all Janus knows of the light sides is that back before the whole hat and hair thing started spiralling so far out of control, it was actually kind of nice to be around them sometimes
like, not to be cliché or anything
but passionately arguing over Disney with Roman and Virgil was really nice, reading and co-existing with Logan was an excellent wind-down from busy days, talking theatre and doing kinda-sorta-almost-horny-but-not-quite dirty dancing with Roman was fun, Patton was a surprisingly excellent co-conspirator for pranks, Remus and Logan were surprisingly excellent victims for said pranks, Virgil and he had finally made up and were maybe even flirting a little bit again, and things had just. they had been nice—
so excepting the whole hat and hair thing, things had been oh so nice and friendly and maybe even flirty between him and the other sides
only now it isn’t now it’s horrible and he just doesn’t understand why they can’t leave him alone already or at least stop beating around the bush and tell him why they won’t just leave him alone—
and god fucking dammit, it just hurts so fucking much because he likes them all so, so much that he can’t even pretend not to anymore. he likes them all, and he wants them all to like him too, but with all the pestering they’ve been doing it just doesn’t feel like they do
and like, is this mean-spirited or not? he honestly can’t tell, he can’t read any of them at all on this, and it’s so strange because usually he can
and, and maybe, just maybe, it isn’t, maybe they’re just flirting or teasing or all in fun or whatever, but still it hurts
then if it truly is mean-spirited, can’t they just tell him and leave him to lick his wounds in private instead of popping up literally everywhere and scaring him half to death?
but whatever the reason behind it all, the subterfuge and the glances when they think he’s not looking and the weird emotion on their faces when they watch him hiss and try to grab his hat back and all the mixed signals he’s getting now are too too much and—
—and Janus, he knows how to be quiet. he knows how to tell a lie. if they want to hate him and pretend to get along around Thomas it’s fine, it’s nothing he hasn’t dealt with before
(it’ll hurt like a bitch but he’ll be fine)
((he’s lying to himself again he won’t be fine))
but he’s just getting so much attention, and so much of it is on his hair, one of the things he hates the most about himself, and he’s
he’s just so tired
-
and so Janus, with a heavy heart, starts straightening his hair every morning without fail
he lets his hair go all greasy and unwashed and unkempt and it hurts him to stop taking care of himself like that, but maybe, just maybe, if he does they’ll all lose interest in his hair and finally just stop
only the others are actually? really devastated?? and genuinely concerned???
and so all the other sides corner him and ask him why
in self-defense (but also out of hurt) he somewhat nastily comments something along the lines of “what, so you can’t make fun of it anymore, huh?”
and the others are hurt and there’s a bit of shouting and anger until someone comes out and admits that like,,, “no dude you’re literally the hottest/cutest of all of us and uhhh we all love you and kinda wanna date you lol”
and then Janus is like
uhm.
what.
-
everyone is reeling from the reveal, and oh so confused, so at Logan’s insistence they all take a big step back to calm down from the confrontation that just happened
Patton offers to go make some hot cocoa and warm up some brownies for everyone to help them all de-stress a little bit, and Logan bustles off after his boyf to help him
Virgil insists that Janus take a bath to get all clean, and he actually offers to help Janus bathe
(god, that’s such a flashback to when they were younger, when things were easier)
((Janus bites back a strangled, choked-up laugh as he remembers him, Virgil, and Remus all squished in a tub together as children, only back then it was the two of them trying to make Remus wash his hair, not vice versa))
and this time Virgil asks before touching him, offering to wash Janus’ hair for him to help get the week-and-a-half’s worth of grime out of it, and Janus is tired and the water is warm and Virgil is safe(?) so he says yes and
and oh
Virgil’s hands scratch up against his scalp, soft and feather-light, and it actually feels really, really...good
there in that tub, Janus slowly starts to relax for the first time in what feels like months
then, when he’s done washing Janus’ hair, Virgil leaves to let Janus have some time to relax and soak in private
Janus sits there in the tub, head tipped back against the cool porcelain, relishing in the warm water surrounding him
he still doesn’t really know why the other sides have been doing what they’ve been doing
but all the same, he’s not quite so anxious about what they’ve been doing anymore
surely if Virgil of all people has been so soft
surely things can’t be so bad as he had himself convinced
(maybe things can be okay after all?)
-
when Janus finally gets out of the bath, Roman and Remus are standing wordlessly outside the bathroom, holding out a ridiculously fuzzy pair of yellow-and-black pajamas with cartoon snakes for him
and there, on top of the pajamas, his hat
no, no, wait a minute
that isn’t his hat, it’s a...a new one
...for him?
Janus looks up at Roman, who nods, his expression surprisingly shy, then he looks over at Remus, who grins almost nervously at him, looking at him weirdly delicately
the bowler hat is clean and shiny and velvety and black, with a satin yellow ribbon at the brim just like his old one, only this new one has small polka-dots that, upon further inspection, are actually really, really tiny versions of all the sides’ different insignias—so that a little piece of them all can be with him, Roman explains, even when Janus doesn’t feel comfortable actually being in their presence
(he’s not really sure how he doesn’t break down at that, but Janus manages to hold out until after he’s swathed in fuzzy warmth and after he goes downstairs to talk things over with the others)
-
the six of them make themselves sit down in the living room and talk it all out over hot cocoa and warm mushy brownies
Janus opens up about how he hates his hair, how he wears his hat to hide how fluffy and soft it is, how he thought that they would never listen to him or take what he says seriously because of it, how scared he was that they were doing it because they hated him, how overwhelmed he was over them showing up everywhere and invading his space and taking his hat and playing with his hair without at least asking first
and the others explain that they were just trying to have fun and flirt with them. that first time they saw Janus’ hair he hadn’t even technically been accepted by them yet, but nevertheless, even back then they only wanted to comment on how soft it looked. on their side, it had been a bet—to see who could get Janus’ hat off again next, to see who could touch Janus’ hair first and figure out what it felt like—but then it had morphed into gay panic and them all falling for Janus, hard
Roman, Virgil, Patton, Logan, and Remus all apologize big-time to Janus
they assure him that they hadn’t meant anything bad over it, and that they really did love him and want to all be involved with him, and that they would never actively try to maliciously insult or tease him like that, and that they didn’t realize that he wasn’t just flirting back when he protested the whole hat thing
(which, Janus realizes that he kind of had been back in the beginning, just a little bit, before the teasing went way too far)
but just because the others hadn’t deliberately meant anything mean doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt him, nevertheless
so the five of them acknowledge and apologize for not realizing Janus’ discomfort and for not ensuring that the environment was one in which he felt safe in admitting his discomfort to them
and Janus admits that, now he knows for sure that it isn’t anything bad, he really doesn’t mind them touching his hair or any other part of him, really, but they really need to ask first, because things that feel nice some times don’t feel so nice other times
so they all have a nice long talk about boundaries and about how consent extends way past just sexual activity
and what kind of hurt/comfort fic would this be if Janus isn’t passed around everyone’s laps while everyone softly peppers kisses all over him and reassures him that they love him and they love his hair and they love his scales and they love his everything? so naturally that happens, and it’s all very very mushy and sweet and cavity-inducing
and everyone assures Janus that he and his hair are fully worthy of love and that they’re happy to love both even as he can’t bring himself to love himself just yet—if he’ll have them all, that is
and Roman + Virgil ask Janus to date them, and Logan + Remus + Patton ask him to date them too because yay gays and yay polyamory
and maybe Janus is crying a bit after the others admit that they actually really like how he looks, snake face, fluffy hair, and all, maybe he’s crying as he says that yes, he really does like them all and want to be with them
but he’s not about to admit it, of course
besides, he’s got his head turned to kiss Roman, soft and chaste and long and sweet, and Patton’s in his lap with hands under his shirt, gently rubbing just above his hipbones, and Virgil’s pressed against his side, holding his hand and squeezing carefully, and Remus is on the floor, curled around his calves and playing with the fuzz of his pajama pants, and Logan massages at the base of his neck even as his brand new hat sits perched atop his head
so Janus most certainly has an excuse for not admitting anything (or saying anything else, really) for a long, long while
Fin
*
Why is this literally over four thousand words what the fvck
Anyways, maybe one day I’ll write this like a proper fic, but in the meantime I wanted to share it as a bullet fic! :) If you want to create something yourself that’s based on this, be it writing or art or whatever, please feel free to! PLS do tag me tho bc fluffy-haired Janus is LIFE and I want to see it ALL. o.O
Want to be added onto any of my taglists? Shoot me an ask or a message here or via my other social media!
#sanders sides#thomas sanders sides#ts janus#ts deceit#ts roman#ts creativity#ts patton#ts morality#ts remus#ts the duke#ts logan#ts logic#ts virgil#ts anxiety#prinxieceit#intrulogicaliceit#sanders sides fic#bullet fic#jowritesthingss#jwt sanderssides#cw swearing#cw teasing#tumblr tags actually work challenge
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ONF - New World (Performance MV)
The last one. Ahhh, when I first committed to watching RTK, I wasn't sure what to expect and I didn't know anything about the other groups. I'd seen TBZ's Reveal (Catching Fire) which lured me in and I'm grateful for it because I got to see all the other amazing performances everyone pulled off. Beyond just the performances, it was really heartwarming to get little glimpses of the hard work everyone puts into each stage and how they're always supporting each other, within their own teams and outside of it. I would definitely recommend watching RTK if you're interested in getting into any of the groups featured, and even if not I would still recommend watching the performances because they're all so unique in their arrangements and stages. It's the kind of thing that can only happen on a competition show.
Thanks for putting up with all my ranting and know that I love you if you've read all my different thought posts. I hope you all look forward to Kingdom: Legendary War as well, it's gonna be HYPE!
Alright dudes let's get down to it.
Admittedly I did not love ONF for a lot of RTK. They're a great group, but I felt like their stages didn't favor the same kind of theatricality other groups had. And when they were ranked highly for We Must Love + Moscow Moscow (2nd round, My Song) stage, I was frankly a little miffed.
I adored their stage for It's Raining though, and all throughout RTK even if I didn't love them I still thought they were wonderful. Their reactions were so entertaining to watch and their stages were all fun and well executed.
I struggled watching New World a bit because I couldn't get over the fact they went back to more simple performances when It's Raining had been so elaborate.
The performance MV for New World is amazing. I understand the live performance had to be filmed indoors and that because it's indoors and because the stage is black and the stairs are black and the bleachers are black, the impact is different. But I'm really sad about that because the open air film location they did for the performance MV fit the song's vibes so much better. The kind of controlled sunlight, the open air lattices of the building they were standing on, the contrast between the dark outfits the members had and the bright cream of the building's plaster. All of those contributed to such a different vibe for the song, which is so bright and fun.
The opening to the light performance is a short film, similar to ONEUS and Pentagon. I'm not too sure about this but it seems to start with fast cuts from their previous MVs? And then slows down marginally to give a bit of storyline that seems to be a combination of pre and post apocalypse/societal collapse in a fantasy/cyberpunk mix world? Yeah, I dunno I've watched it 4 times and that's the best I could come up with. Especially because the ending shot is several very large meteors crashing through the atmosphere and like, those are pretty deadly so...?
In the pre-performance bit with the ONF members, they had discussed a theme of Pandora's box. Most people know that Pandora's box is a symbol of curses and tragedy, often tied to themes of humanity's greed versus humanity's innocence in listening to the gods. On opening the box, all the diseases and negativity inside flooded out to torment humanity but Hope remains in the box to allow humanity to maintain light in the darkness, and only humanity can give up hope.
NGL I was really excited to see how they would execute that theme. But then?? They kind of treated the box as a time capsule? I could kind of see it like them put their hopes into the box, which is an interesting twist on the tale of Pandora's box but also Confusion because that's definitely not the theme of that story. I kind of let it go though, because maybe they were just borrowing inspiration from the story and not actually trying to represent it.
Moving onto the actual performance and song. The intro is so intense! It's a really interesting fit because the rest of the song is way more dance upbeat/electric. But as far as openings go, pretty impactful and very pleasing to watch the ripple effect with the backup dancers down the aisle.
Again with the colorful flashing lights. Cool? Yes. Contributing to the aesthetic? Not particularly. Productive to the storyline? No. Part of the performance? Yes. Shruggy on this one, I don't really have anything to add that I haven't mentioned in previous commentaries.
I do really like the song though. Just as a piece of music, it's so fun to listen to and has definitely joined the ranks of my usual kpop bops. The kind of light, fast electro beat is something to jam to. Wyatt's voice is just so good, especially as part of the pre-chorus. The contrast makes it delightful to go from verse one to chorus. The lyrics and message of the song are really well thought out and executed as well, talking about reaching a better world and turning away from hurting each other/the environment/generally being hurtful.
OKAY. So this part is actually something I really adored: the sort of robotic formation. Wherein the members stand in the center of several backup dancers who seem to place on pieces or armor or something onto the member's limbs. A very clean cut, fast paced dance sequence that really strongly reminded me of early iron man scenes in which the different parts of armor were installed on the body. Also lowkey reminiscent of magical girl transformation hahahaha. But it's done so cleanly and while the camera angles make it hard to focus, it's still such a treat to watch. AND THEN. The members come up to the shoulders of the backup dancers and for Wyatt's lines, they're just!! In control! If y'all have watched power rangers or Gundam or Aquarion or Neon Evangelion or like, any of those then you know what I'm talking about, in which the human character slides into some massive machine and controls them from the inside to fight monsters (kaiju) and stuff. And the next bit with J-US and the hands! Creative, interesting imagery, just a complete delight to watch. It's just sooooo fun and I love that for ONF, I really do.
I genuinely think that their theme doesn't make much sense without the context of the lyrics and even then it still feels clunky and sort of inspired by rather than actually embodying the concept. So I'd dock point for them for that personally because I think that when themes are introduced and performed, they should show up as more than just a simple prop. But also I acknowledge that dance and musical performances like this (not musicals) aren't necessarily intended to be storytelling, especially in 4th gen kpop. I do like their theme with the keys and opening, I feel like the performance would have been enhanced if instead of using pandora's box, they choose to use the gateway to the new world. A bit on the nose but a lot more impactful with the key turning bit after the second chorus.
On the key turning bit with the weird holographic box: Dude. Those backup dancers? So clean. Nice stiff steps that feel very robotic which goes wonderfully with the costumes. The keys they each take actually read RTK ONF if you go clockwise from the left (MK). Just a neato little fact. Attention to detail is so good. And the timing of the key turns, of course it was gonna be to the beat but like still! Satisfying af.
Why Wyatt grabs the box and slams it to the ground I don't know. Maybe it has to do with the line dive into new world.
The high notes. Again. Literally just. What the fuck guys, they're so good. I'm gonna cry. The stability, the pitch, just. (sobbing)
The LED screen in the back is interesting? Is it supposed to be a door into the new world? Probably?
Dance break!! Guitar solo!! The door tradition into the weird stripey LED screens that just feels so chaotic and kinda like I'm going through a movie warp portal. Somehow when combined together it all works lmao??
I love the bridge. There's no reason for it, I just love Wyatt's fast paced lines and the kind of dun dun dun fast tempo beat tapping.
The ending of running away from the camera, towards the little cliffs and the LED screen was a good choice because the last lines refer to how they'll never stop as long as they're alive. Not the most impactful ending but definitely satisfying given the song's lyrics and meaning. Again, that lack of pandora's box kind of haunts me?
Overall if I consider this ONF performance compared to their others it doesn't feel quite as thought out and executed. Similar to their We Must Love + Moscow Moscow performance where I couldn't really see the marionette theme, I couldn't really understand the idea of Pandora's box in this performance and I really wish they had chosen perhaps a gateway to the new world or some other theme instead because it would fit much better. It's also a little lackluster compared to the performance MV that had a lot of contrast which created more focus and contributed more to the atmosphere of the performance.
Still, as a performance on it's own, it does pretty well and I'm really happy for ONF to have performed it. Thank you RTK for introducing me to this song and to ONF in general, I hope they continue to release some really good stuff.
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