#I drew this all today and lost my motivation so I probably won’t ever finish it

[sleepyskeleton-0]

Yet another wip I won’t ever finish

Have it before I’ll stop being able to look at it :’)

[diaryofabeautyfiend]

Small Time Witch (12)

Your meeting with Director Fury went better than you thought it would. He thought it was probably best for you to move to the compound. You shared with him how nervous you were that Hellphyr would destroy them like he destroyed your coven. He suggested when you return to the States that you have a meeting with Doctor Strange. At least he would be able to help you ward the place. You agreed to let him call on you if he ever needed you. He promised to continue to help you with the Kales. You shook hands and turned in your tac suit. He refused to take it back. “Maybe you’ll need it some day.”

You found Tony to tell him the good news. “So, boss, does Monday work for you?”

He clicked his tongue and drew you in for a hug. “I’ll have HR start the paperwork.”

“Great. That will give me a few days to find a place.”

“You’ll stay with us. We have the room. You won’t regret this, Y/N.”

“Famous last words.” You smiled and ducked out. The clock was ticking. You weren’t sure if Steve was just messing with you but he gave you serious dom vibes. You got excited thinking of what fifty shades of red white and blue would be like.

On your way back you ran into Loki coming out of his room. “Where are you rushing off to, Pet?”

“To meet Steve.” You couldn’t meet his eyes. Waves of jealousy radiated off of him. “I’m sorry.”

“No need. I won’t keep you then. When we get back can you make some time for me?” You held his hand. His body stiffened. You wanted to hug him but eyes were everywhere. This was not the time to make the plane ride home a contentious one.

“Of course, Lok. Are you ok?” He pulled his hand away. That stung a little.

“Never better. You’d better go. Don’t want to keep him waiting.” You smiled at each other and quickened your pace to Steve’s room.

He wasn’t there yet (thank goodness). You showered and got in bed. Following his instructions you let your hands wander to your pussy. Your thoughts went back to yesterday when he had you melting in his hands. You slipped in two fingers. Your other hand furiously rubbed your clit bringing you to the brink of crashing. Before you could you stopped. He told you not to come. Once it felt safe you went back to work. You took your time teasing your nipples. Tasting yourself. You let your fingers roam and explore your cunt bringing you to the brink again. This time you decided to stop completely until he got back.

It was well over an hour. You were reading when a message from Steve popped up on the screen.

SR: Sorry this is taking so long, baby. I’m trying to find an excuse to get out of here. I hope you’re following Captain’s orders. That pussy had better be dripping when I get back.

Perhaps to give him a bit of motivation you sent him a video to show exactly how wet you were. Sam was sitting next to him at the table. Steve tried to hide his phone but was unsuccessful.

“If you don’t run to that woman right now I will” Sam whispered. Steve turned every shade of red imaginable.

“Don’t look at my girl, Sam.”

“I didn’t see much. Her hand was in the way. I’m serious. These fools have been droning on for almost two hours. I’ll take notes. Get out of here.” Steve stood to excuse himself.

“Are we boring you, Captain Rogers? Somewhere more important to be?” Secretary Ross scolded.

“Bathroom, Mr. Secretary.” The man rolled his eyes and continued talking. He took large strides across camp ignoring everyone who called out to him. When he got back to the room you were sprawled out on the bed. He was positively salivating at the sight of you.

He growled low in his throat causing you to giggle. He was out of his sweats and on top of you in less than thirty seconds. His lips crushed yours desperately trying to devour you. “Sorry I was late. They wouldn’t shut up.” he said against your mouth. You breathed hard against him bringing him in for more hard kisses. He brought his hand down to feel you. When your slick coated his fingers he smiled, “Good girl. I’ll bet you’re ready to come.” You whined “Yeah you are. Come on, Princess. Give me what I want.” His words were your undoing. You moaned his name while he fucked you with his fingers. He inserted a third then a fourth finger while his thumb slowly massaged your clit. It was only minutes until you came again.

He could not take it anymore. His cock was hard to the point of pain. He rolled to his back and pulled you on top. You lowered yourself down gingerly feeling your orgasm build again. The stretch was too much. As soon as your clit brushed his pelvic bone you were a goner. “What is that? Three now? Let’s go for five. I know you can.” You ground down on him rocking your hips into your fourth orgasm. “Yes, baby. You feel so good.” You clenched around him and your whole body froze. You were dizzy so you braced yourself against his shoulders. “Get on all fours” he commanded. As soon as you positioned yourself he aggressively slammed into you. He kept the same pace urging you to hold on. “You ready, baby?” He thrusted one final time and he spilled everything inside of you.

You crawled towards the pillow completely out of breath. He laid next to you and pulled you in to lay on his chest. “You know, Steve, it occurred to me that we haven’t been on a third date yet.” He laughed.

“Yeah I thought about that. I usually don’t show anyone this side of me until we’re a solid two months in.”

“It did shock me how much of a freak you are.”

“I hope a good shock.”

You kissed his chest, “A great shock. Let’s go on a proper date when we get back. Dinner and a movie.”

“I’m up for that. I like this too. I just like spending time with you. If it happens to lead somewhere I’m not angry about it.”

You giggled to yourself. You thought Steve Rogers was living a chaste life only focused on avenging. At least that’s what all the girls at SHIELD thought. They all flirted with him when he came to the main office. Thinking back on it, you had too. You were sure that he didn’t remember. Even still, it was fairly well known that Steve was a virgin or at least that he was a born again virgin after coming out of the ice. Turns out he’s been out there fucking.

“So what did you tell Tony?” he was glad to change the subject. Yes, he had an active sex life. Doesn’t mean he wants to talk about it.

“That I would start on Monday. I’m moving into the compound. In my own room, of course.”

“Of course. Was Fury pissed?”

“No. He thought it was a good idea. I have to meet with Doctor Strange when we get back. Between him and Loki and Wanda I think we can protect the compound from any magical attack.” The mere mention of Loki’s name made him clench his jaw and grip you tighter.

He didn’t want to ask about Loki because he was not about to tell you how to live your life. He couldn’t help but feel like he would worry less if Loki stuck around. Then again, he didn’t quite trust him around you. The two of you seemed to have a special bond. He was sure he was overreacting. Never the less he had a pit in his stomach every time you were alone together. You two seemed to have your own language. Bucky mentioned on more than one occasion that he was sure the two of you had a thing. He decided to leave it alone for now.

You fell into a comfortable silence just enjoying one another. Your stomach growled loudly waking you from your dream state. He laughed and you hid your face in embarrassment. “I’m hungry too. Hang tight. I’m going to see what I can find and we’ll have a bed picnic.”

“I’ll come with you.” He pressed his palm into your chest lowering you back down onto the bed.

“You thought I was done? You don’t get to get dressed today, Princess. I plan on making you come several more times.”

“Captain Rogers!” You feigned outrage like a southern damsel, “You are nothing but a scoundrel, sir.” He smacked your ass and winked as he left the room.

He got back to the room only to find you passed out cold. Snoring even. He quietly put down the tray of snacks on the bedside table. He tried to make himself as light as possible so he didn’t wake you when he got into bed. He crawled like a cat between your legs and buried his tongue in your snatch. Your eyes flew open and you arched your back. You whined and panted while he moaned back in encouragement. His voice reverberated through your core and sent you over the edge. You grabbed the bed sheets trying to hold on for dear life as he kitten licked you back down.

He came up for air and wiped his face on a towel. “I couldn’t find food food so I brought all snacks.” He tossed you a muffin and a bottle of juice.

“Are you for real, Rogers? You made me cum like a million times...”

“Six” he said between gulps of water.

“....six times and then you feed me carbs? Carbs! You’re like amazing.”

“Thanks. Carbs are for quick energy. You need protein too. That provides lasting energy which you will need.” He handed you a half of a turkey sandwich. “Eat up. I’m not nearly done with you yet.” You rolled your eyes and took the sandwich. So bossy.

By the time you were finished both of you were exhausted sore and dehydrated. You drained a bottle of water in seconds trying to replenish what you had lost. You were sticky and sweaty. You were pretty sure you smelled. You didn’t even want to see what your hair looked like. He didn’t care. In his sleep he clutched you like he was afraid you’d float away. He was your anchor in these dark waters.

When you woke up the next morning there was more fucking then shower sex followed by breakfast then one more quickie in the plane hanger. You were like a couple of horny teenagers and he could not get enough of you. You slept a deep dreamless sleep on the way home. He spent the better part of the flight planning your proper date.

[frozenartscapes]

The Room of Requirement - Exolvo AU

AN: This is a sequel to a fic I wrote a few years back, called “The Patronus”. I started this fic after rewatching Order of the Pheonix back around Christmas and I finally got enough motivation to finish it. In my first fic, it’s revealed that Elsa’s able to cast a cobra Patronus after she and Anna are attacked by stray Dementors, and Anna then asks Elsa to teach her the spell. I’ve decided to follow up on that request.

“Ok, so there’s something I have to show you, but just like before…you can’t tell anyone.”

“And…like I said, I swear I won’t.”

Anna had led Elsa down an empty corridor in the school, making numerous turns around corners and constantly checking behind her as if someone was hot on their trail. When Elsa was certain that her sister had somehow managed to get them both lost deep in the depths of the castle, they stopped in front of what seemed like an ordinary wall.

But then the wall shifted. A massive crack formed right down the middle, and the halves parted like great, stone doors. Elsa shot a glance at Anna in alarm, and all Anna responded with was a wide grin.

As they entered the strange room beyond the doors, Anna finally explained, “It’s the Room of Requirement. It—”

“Only appears if it’s needed,” Elsa finished, still in awe of the great chamber they stood in. Large, massive stone arches lined the central nave, but the pillars did not touch the ground, seemingly holding the ceiling up with a great, unseen magic rather than stone. The walls were lined with ancient, decaying mirrors reflecting the room a thousand times.

“You know about this place?” Anna asked in surprise.

“I’ve read about it,” Elsa told her, “I took some time to read up about the school during some of my free time.”

Anna laughed softly. “That sounds about right,” she commented lightly, “I’m surprised you and Hermione don’t hang out more.”

Elsa rolled her eyes at her sister’s teasing. “And how do you know about this place?” she wondered.

Anna drew a deep breath. “This is…where we’ve been learning,” she said carefully, “But I’m serious, y…you really can’t tell anyone about this.”

Elsa met her sister’s worried gaze, and with the most sincere earnestly, replied, “You have my word, Anna. I won’t tell a soul.”

Anna smiled again, and said excitedly, “Ok, well… Let’s get started then!”

Elsa nodded, but panic was starting to set in. She had never really taught before, and although this was just her sister, it almost felt like she had even more pressure to do it right. “Ok, so let’s start with the basics,” she said, “Let’s see your wand movement.”

Anna got her wand out and flicked her wand in the way Harry had taught her a couple times. After a moment Elsa nodded again, and said, “Good. You’ve got that part down. Why don’t you try actually casting it?”

Anna bit her lip slightly in concentration, focusing everything on performing the spell. After mentally preparing herself, she flicked her wand and stated, “Expecto Patronum!”

Nothing, not even the smallest bit of light, escaped her wand.

“See?” she said in dismay, “This is what I was talking about! I’ve got nothing.”

“It’s fine, Anna,” Elsa told her comfortingly, “It’s not exactly an easy spell. Remember: you need to have some kind of positive, light-filled memory or thought. Something that just…fills your whole being with joy.”

“I thought I had that, but…” Anna said with a sigh. After a slight pause, she turned to her sister and asked softly, “What do you think about?”

Elsa gulped nervously, feeling her face flush a little in her embarrassment. “I…�� she stammered slightly, suddenly feeling very self-conscious, “I…think about you.”

Anna took a moment to process that information, blinking a few times in shock. “Y…you think…about me?” she questioned, “But… Why?”

Elsa sighed heavily. Unable to fully make eye contact, she revealed, “You are the only light in my life, Anna. You are…fire, life, warmth. You have always brought me so much happiness, and even in the last few years, just watching you grow and doing things that made you happy, it…” She trailed off, then. Anna caught her wipe something from her eyes. Elsa then turned to meet her sister’s gaze, and stated softly, “You are my sun. In a life that is nothing but dreary storm clouds. I couldn’t think of anything else more perfect for that spell.”

Anna merely stood there, her mouth slightly agape, stupefied by what her sister just told her. Subconsciously, she shook her head, because there was no way she meant that much to her sister…right? Elsa… She had to have had a better life that what she was describing.

“Elsa, I…” Anna couldn’t think of what to say. She had never thought she would ever mean that much to her sister. Elsa had always been so cold, so distant, and sure Anna now knew why but… It was still so much to get her head around. Learning about Elsa's sacrifice had left her feeling a million emotions at once. She was angry, saddened, confused. Knowing why still didn’t excuse all the hurt and pain she felt over those years when it seemed like Elsa wanted nothing to do with her. But at the same time, she was now able to imagine what it must have been like for Elsa. And Anna found that she was unable to think about that for long.

The longer she processed it, the longer this strange, warm feeling was starting to brew in her chest. She was Elsa’s sun. Elsa cared for her so much that she regarded her as the sun.

“I’m…I’m gonna try again,” she stated confidently, believing with her whole heart that now she had something that would make the spell work. She thought about what Elsa had just told her, about how good it felt to be Elsa’s sun. And when she was ready, she flicked her wand and cried, “Expecto Patronum!”

A bit of light burst forth, but it fizzled out quickly, and came no where near to producing anything effective.

Anna felt her heart sink in disappointment. But determination and stubbornness quickly took hold. So she tried again. And again. And again. Each time, only thin little whisps of light that didn’t even illuminate the room appeared.

“Anna, hold on for a second!” Elsa said over her sisters many and increasingly desperate attempts to produce the charm.

“No, I can do this!” Anna argued, “I…I have to do this!”

“This spell is hard, Anna. You don’t have to get it right today,” Elsa told her.

“Yes, I do! I do because I owe it to you!” Anna finally stopped after blurting that out, and she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth.

Elsa met her panicked gaze, and while she seemed confused, she still said softly, “You don’t owe me anything, Anna, especially this spell. We can get it some other time.”

Anna sighed, deflating as she did, and admitted, “No, it’s just… Y…you think so highly of me yet I can’t perform the one spell that’s based entirely on someone’s happiness. You…you think I’m the freaking sun but… I’m just as depressing as a rain cloud. I don’t even have a happy memory that’ll make this stupid spell work.”

When she looked up, she could see it in Elsa’s eyes: guilt. Elsa bowed her head in shame, and said quietly, “I’m…I’m sorry, Anna.”

“It’s…it’s not your fault,” Anna told her.

“It is, though. Partially, at least,” Elsa sighed, “I took so much away from you.”

“And that took so much away from you, too,” Anna reminded her, “It just…sucks. What happened to us. And with everything that’s happening now, too…”

She trailed off, then, as she noticed the air around them had turned cold. Small, delicate snowflakes were forming in the air, and frost on the floor at her sister’s feet. Elsa had her eyes screwed shut, her hands clasped tightly in front of her, and she was muttering something about maintaining control under her breath. Anna looked at the snow, then around the large, empty room they had all to themselves. Just like the great room in their old house…

“You shouldn’t hold it back like that,” she said softly.

Elsa shook her head. “It’s too dangerous right now. I…I can feel it.”

“But holding it in only hurts you,” Anna protested, “What if… What if we take a break from teaching me and we work on you?”

“Me?”

“Just…just let it go. This room is meant for magic practice, after all.”

Elsa looked around the room with uncertainty. “But…what about you?” she asked slowly.

Anna proudly displayed her wand, and said, “Harry says my shield charm is top notch.” Elsa still seemed unsure, so she added, “Elsa: we’re not kids anymore. Ok, we’re still technically kids but not little kids who don’t know what we’re doing. You’re probably one of the best witches in this school and I’ve been learning a few tricks myself. You can control your magic. I know you can. And I can be careful.”

“I…I don’t know, Anna…”

“You’re helping me learn. Let me help you.”

Slowly, ever so slowly, Elsa looked down at her hands. She spent a long time just staring at them, weighing out the pros and cons of doing this kind of practice. Her magic stirred restlessly under her skin, urging her to take up her sister’s offer. But her fear was just as desperately demanding she didn’t. After an extended pause, she drew a deep breath, and said shakily, “If I tell you to run, run, ok? If things slip out of my control I don’t want you trying to help by putting yourself in danger. I’ve lost control on my own before - I can handle it. What I can’t handle is you getting hurt again.”

Anna solemnly shook her head. “You have my word,” she said simply.

Elsa took another shaky breath. “Ok,” she said, glancing around the room as if searching for a good place to start, “Ok…”

After another moment of Elsa hesitating, just looking around the room in confusion and indecision, Anna asked, “Are you…gonna do anything? Or are you thinking?”

Elsa frowned. It was the expression she made whenever she was overthinking something, when her concentration was laser-focused on her current task at hand. “I…I don’t know where to start,” she admitted quietly after another minute of thought, “I…I’ve never really… It’s been so long since…”

Anna felt her heart sink as she watched Elsa stare down at her hands with a lost and confused frown on her face. She supposed it was like learning how to use a spell that was way above one’s level. Something so complicated and intricate and immense that there was no easy approach, no clear way of getting started on learning it. Only it wasn’t, really, because there was no one around who could teach Elsa anything about using her magic. It was hers, and hers alone, one with her heart and soul and body and mind in a way most magic isn’t and the only one who’d know anything about it had forced herself to forget as much as she could about it in the hopes it would leave her body.

“Well,” Anna began slowly. She wished with all her might that she could be a better help, but her memories of Elsa’s magic were faded, gone in some places. “You said we used to play with your magic before…the accident,” she said, “What if…you start there? How’d we normally start to play?”

Elsa swallowed hard. “Well, I’d start by making it snow,” she said carefully.

“Ok! Then let’s start there!” Anna said with encouragement, “Snow indoors, huh? How’d you do it?”

Elsa held her hands out, unable to hide how much they were trembling. “L…like this,” she said as she turned her hands over each other. A ball of shimmering magic began to manifest between them, growing brighter and spilling loose snowflakes onto the ground as it expanded in size. Anna found herself unable to look away. It was magic she had never seen before, so much more captivating and amazing than anything produced from a wand. She grew up in a world with mythical creatures, magic, and wonder but just that one orb of winter magic was otherworldly to her. But then, just when she thought it couldn’t get better, Elsa flung both arms up, throwing the orb high up toward the ceiling. There, it exploded like a massive firework, sending intricate snowflakes flying through the air. As each one landed, little piles of snow appeared, and very quickly the room was a winter wonderland.

“Amazing,” she breathed as she watched the falling snow.

Elsa observed her sister taking in her magic with as much awe as a schoolgirl and found herself suddenly pulled back to their childhood. Back when magic was magic and not some dangerous force capable of stealing away everyone she ever loved. Back when they knew no hardships and could easily find more joy in the world than trials. Back when they were free to just be themselves, no reputations or personal limits to uphold.

For the first time in years Elsa felt like a kid again. For the first time in years, she felt a real, genuine smile growing on her face.

“You think that’s good? Watch this,” she said excitedly. Without hesitation, she stomped her foot into the ground, forcing magic to spill out over the floor. As it spiralled out from around her, ice coated the stone tiles until the whole room was one large skating rink.

Anna found herself sliding around on the slippery surface without even having to move, but before she could do anything else, with another flick of Elsa’s wrist, icy magic circled around her feet, forming skates under her shoes. “Whoa, ok, that…that was really cool, Elsa,” she said nervously, “But I don’t really…”

One look down and she saw Elsa had made her own skates as well. Suddenly, without warning and most certainly without any flinching, uncertainty, or doubt, Elsa took Anna’s hands in hers. “Come on!” she cried happily, “I can teach you!”

Anna wasn’t entirely sure where this new Elsa came from but she was too overjoyed to question it, instead allowing herself to be pulled along across the ice, laughing the whole way.

What followed could only be described as fun, just pure, unadulterated fun. As they skated, Anna lost her balance and ended up in a snow pile. Before Elsa could help her up, Anna managed to nail her with a snowball, and skating turned into a massive snowball fight. After they had tired themselves out, they collapsed together in the snow, giggling and grinning in a way neither of them had in ages. Anna started to make a snow angel first, then Elsa followed her lead.

They got up to admire their work, and before Elsa knew it, Anna rushed forward and threw her arms around her. Laughter turned to something more as it started to sink in for both of them. They hadn’t done anything like this - as sisters - in years. Neither thought they’d ever do this again. Yet here, in the room that only appears when it’s needed, they proved themselves wrong. And as they embraced each other, tears of joy flowing and smiles that felt so foreign on their faces, both silently made a vow to never forget this moment.

“Thank you, Elsa,” Anna uttered, hugging her sister just a little tighter as she spoke, “It was truly magical.”

“I should be thanking you,” Elsa replied with a nervous laugh, “You reminded me how much fun my magic could be…” But then she stiffened, and pulled away slowly. She glanced around the room, a frown overtaking her smile, and in a lost little voice completely void of all the confidence she just had moments ago, she admitted, “But… I don’t know how to thaw it.”

Anna could see worry and panic slowly creeping up into Elsa’s expression. The longer she looked around at all the ice and snow covering the room, the more her hands started to tremble as she fidgeted them in front of her. Her breathing grew harder, more frantic, and, counterproductively, snow flurries she wasn’t in command of began to form around her.

Anna rushed forward and without thinking took Elsa’s hands in hers. They were ice cold, and somehow getting colder, but she didn’t let go even despite Elsa’s horrified expression staring down at her action. “Hey, look at me,” Anna said firmly, waiting until she had Elsa’s full attention. When Elsa finally pulled her eyes up to meet her sister’s, Anna told her with the utmost sincerity, “I know you can do it.”

“I…” Elsa stammered. Something about her eyes was wrong. They weren’t focused, instead lost in a sight only she could see. Anna had a sinking feeling her memories from the accident in their childhood had come back to haunt her. “I…I can’t…”

“Then you don’t have to,” Anna told her, never letting go despite the biting cold, “It doesn’t have to be today, Elsa. You did amazing, what you’ve already done. So what if you can’t thaw stuff yet? That’s what the fire-making charm is for.”

Somehow, through all her panic, that joke managed to reach Elsa and she choked out a small laugh. But her smile faded away quickly. “I should…I should know how,” she said in defeat, “I used to know…”

At this, Anna frowned. “You used to know?” she asked, “What did you do before to make things thaw? Can you remember?”

Elsa shook her head quickly. “I…I don’t… I could just make the snow go away,” she replied hesitantly, “We would finish playing, and before we’d sneak back to our beds, I’d just…make it go away.”

“Did you have to think about anything in particular? What if it’s like the Patronus charm?” Anna pushed gently, “Ice seems to form on its own when you’re scared or angry, so what if it thaws by thinking happy thoughts?”

Elsa looked around the room again. “I…I don’t think it works like that, Anna…”

“Just try, for me?” Anna gave her sister’s hands a little squeeze in comfort, then released them. “If it doesn’t work, then I’ll break out the fire charm I just learned. But I really think you can do it if you do the same thing you do with your Patronus charm.”

Elsa had both hands clasped together, but slowly she let go and extended both arms out on either side. She closed both eyes tight, her face contorted slightly in her intense concentration. She thought of Anna, just as she did for her Patronus. She thought about all the joy her sister brought her, how she was always exuding light and life when Elsa’s world seemed so miserable.

It didn’t seem to be working. She could feel, very faintly, her magic that resided in the ice and snow around them, but it was like it was ignoring her. She opened one eye slightly to steal a glance at Anna, only to see her sister watching her with so much hope and encouragement in her expression. Anna’s faith in her was unyielding, stronger than it ever had been before, and Elsa felt something stir. She felt her heart warm, soaring with emotion as she realized why she always turned to thoughts of her sister when she needed it. It could be summed up in one little statement that she wished she said more often, that she will try to say more often:

“I love you, Anna.”

Suddenly it was like someone had just flicked a light switch. In an instant, she could feel every particle, every snowflake of her magic in the room. Every ounce of it was listening, now, waiting for her instruction. She hadn’t felt this in years, but it was familiar. It was truly what power felt like. It was like how she channelled magic through her wand. It was control. And with that control, she could give a command:

Thaw.

The snow and ice started to break apart, turning into glowing snowflakes rising up toward the ceiling. The higher they got, the more the light faded, until there was nothing left. No snow. No ice. It wasn’t even cold.

Before Elsa could even open her eyes or lower her arms, Anna had rushed forward to smother her in a tight hug. And for once, Elsa didn’t flinch. Instead she wrapped her arms around her sister and hugged just as hard. Anna choked out a half laugh, half sob of joy. “I knew you could do it,” she breathed, “I knew you could.”

“I…I couldn’t have done it without you,” Elsa replied, “I really couldn’t have. I can’t thank you enough.”

Anna pulled back so she could look her sister tearfully in the eyes. “I’m so proud of you, Elsa,” she said softly.

Elsa’s grin only grew, but before she could respond, a loud noise startled them apart. They both turned to look toward the source, and realized that the entrance to the room was opening up. Before either of them could do anything about hiding, the rest of Dumbledore’s Army entered the room, Harry and the gang in the lead.

Everyone stopped the moment they spotted Elsa.

“What is she doing here?” Ginny demanded as she moved around Harry.

“Look, guys,” Anna said, taking a defensive stand in front of her sister, “It’s fine. She won’t tell anyone.”

“But she’s a Slytherin,” Ron retaliated.

“But she’s a good Slytherin,” Anna insisted, “Besides, she’s been helping me. And she might be able to help you, Harry.”

Harry didn’t seem to be one way or the other, his face relatively neutral in expression. But he was intrigued by that. “What do you mean?” he asked, speaking to Anna but eyes focusing on the shy Slytherin taking shelter behind her sister.

“Well,” Anna began, deflating slightly when she realized just how many people were glaring at the two of them. She felt Elsa take her hand in hers, and with a quick look back, she felt her confidence return. “She knows how to cast a Patronus. A really powerful one at that. She’s been teaching me.”

“Really?” Ginny scoffed incredulously, “She can cast a Patronus?” There were quite a few murmurs from the crowd, all expressing similar disbelief.

“Alright, alright,” Hermione commanded over everyone. Once she had quiet, she continued, “The Patronus charm is extremely difficult. You’re telling us that she can cast it?” While she seemed a little more convinced than the rest of the crowd, one could tell by her tone that even Hermione was skeptical.

“I believe it,” Harry stated simple, gaining shocked looks from everyone.

“What?” Ron hissed, “How can you think that someone like her can-”

“You mean someone who repeatedly rivals Hermione in grades and has an incredible way with a wand?” Harry cut in, “Yeah, it’s pretty easy.” He then turned to Elsa, and added, “But maybe you should prove it.”

Elsa felt her heart stop for a moment, and she was suddenly hyper-aware of all the judging, doubting eyes boring into her. She found herself nearly petrified in fear, but then Anna squeezed her hand. When their eyes met, Anna whispered, “You got this.” She then let go and backed up a little, to give her sister some space.

Elsa gulped nervously, but still shakily took out her wand. She could hear Ginny and the others scoffing and making comments.

‘Breathe,’ she told herself, ‘Think of Anna. Do this for her.’

Elsa shot her sister a brief glance, and then with a flick of her wand, said, “Expecto Patronum!”

Light burst forth from her wand, twisted and twirling around through the air before it formed a neat little coil on the floor at her feet. The coil moved, before revealing itself to be a small cobra, calming rearing back to get a better look at the group of students.

“Whoa,” Ron gasped despite himself, “She can produce a Patronus! …And it’s a snake.”

“A little one at that,” Ginny said with an unimpressed sigh.

“This is nothing,” Anna said excitedly, “Elsa. Can you make it bigger? Like you did before?”

Elsa looked to her sister with mild alarm. She then looked at her Patronus. The cobra looked back at her and blinked.

“That’s…impossible,” Hermione began, “I’ve never heard of someone being able to change the shape of their Patronus…”

“Well, you’re about to see it!” Anna proclaimed, “Go on, Elsa!”

“Alright, I…I can try,” Elsa stammered. She thought about Anna again, allowing herself to feel that same protective energy she felt the day she and her sister were attacked by Dementors. She felt her magic inside shift, whipping up like the wind in a winter storm. But that energy only worked with her, went into the charm, and as she waved her wand the little cobra quickly surged forward, spiralling around her and producing more and more light. The light trails spread out even further, circling around herself and Anna, until the Patronus reformed as a massive snake, towering over everyone in the room.

Everyone jumped back in alarm. Some even drew their wands for protection. The only one who wasn’t afraid was Harry, who was merely grinning from ear to ear. “You’re full of surprises, Arendelle,” he said with a small laugh, “I’d love to see a Dementor go up against that.”

“Oh, it’s really fun to watch,” Anna piped up, “You know, if Dementors weren’t also terrifying.”

Elsa felt a smile growing on her face. With another wave of her wand, the giant cobra dissolved into light trails again, which dissipated as they spun around her until they reformed back into the small little cobra from earlier. With one final flick of its tongue, it disappeared completely.

“And that’s why I asked her to teach me,” Anna stated triumphantly.

Most of the other students nodded in agreement. Ginny still seemed skeptical. Hermione appeared to be struggling to hide her shock, but despite herself gave Elsa a respectful nod. Ron muttered grumpily, “It was still a snake…”

“What it is doesn’t matter,” Harry said simply, “What matters is that she can do it. And bloody amazingly, at that.” Turning to Elsa, he added, “I’d be more than happy to have your help, if you’re willing to help, that is.”

“That means no telling anyone,” Ron interjected, “Especially anyone from your House.”

“Especially Malfoy,” Ginny added with a grimace.

Elsa cast a glance at Anna. With a smile, she assured them, “I would be more than happy to outright lie to Malfoy’s face about this.”

“Then it’s settled,” Harry declared, before turning to the rest of the Army behind him, “Let’s get started.”

Within only a few minutes, the Room was positively alive with spells as students practiced what they’ve learned. Today it was the Patronus charm, and Harry had gotten right to work in teaching everyone the proper method. As he circled the room giving instruction, Elsa was assisting individuals who were having trouble.

Anna at first merely watched her older sister giving Colin Creevey some pointers. Seeing Elsa now, so confident and warm with the other students, so comfortable in her own skin, filled Anna’s heart with pride. For the first time, Anna truly felt like she had her sister back, finally free from the fear and cold Elsa had been dwelling in for years.

Anna glanced down at her wand. She remembered all that had transpired that day, all the things she and Elsa did that only reaffirmed just how much better things were between them. She remembered Elsa’s joy. She remembered her own joy. She was Elsa’s sun, and Elsa was hers.

With that, Anna took her wand and, now with more confidence than she ever had before, said proudly: “Expecto Patronum!”

From where Elsa was, her focus was initially on Colin. The younger boy was just starting to produce streaks of light from his wand, and it was starting to take form as Elsa encouraged him. But then his - and every other student’s - concentration was broken by a single, mighty roar.

All heads turned to the source of the sound, and Elsa couldn’t hold the smile on her face when she spotted Anna standing there, partially in pride and partially in shock, staring at a large, silvery lioness still attached to her wand by a few remaining tendrils of light.

“Why am I not surprised?” Ginny commented humorously.

Elsa wasted no time to rush up to Anna and envelope her in a tight hug.

“Elsa,” Anna gasped, pointing to the lion in astonishment, “I did it!”

Elsa laughed and hugged her sister harder. “I can see that,” she said, “I’m so proud of you, Anna. I knew you could do it.”

“I have you to thank,” Anna told her, wiping away a few tears in her eyes, “I really couldn’t have done it without you.”

Elsa pulled back to cast her sister a warm smile. Anna returned the expression. Anna’s Patronus then approached them to seemingly rubbing its body against Anna’s legs, purring loudly, causing the pair to break into joyous laughter.

From across the room, Harry, Ron, and Hermione watched their reaction. Harry merely grinned, feeling his heart warm upon seeing the sisters reconnecting. Ron, meanwhile, was frowning in deep thought. “Hang on,” he muttered, “So if her Patronus is a lion, and her Patronus is a snake, and she’s in Gryffindor and she’s in Slytherin, then…”

“I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, Ron,” Hermione interrupted with a sigh.

Harry chuckled to himself. Then, in the lull, he heard something that wiped the smile off his face. It was a low thud coming from one of the mirrored walls.

Thud.

That time it was louder. More students turned to look at the wall in concern.

THUD.

Dust sprinkled down from the ceiling, and one of the ancient mirrors on the wall cracked.

Suddenly, with a little puff of stone dust and glass, a small hole appeared in the wall. Harry only had time to briefly make eye contact with the vindicated person on the other side, before there was a bright flash and the whole wall exploded.

As the dust settled, everyone in the Room groaned in dismay. There on the other side was Filch, Malfoy, and his cronies, all looking very pleased with themselves. But none were quite as smug as the woman in the fluffy, pink blazer.

“Well, now,” Umbridge crooned with a fake smile so sweet it could give one a toothache, “What do we have here?”

[riluu]

Baby ignis asks Regis to marry noctis and he never lets them live it down

((This is an AU, so I’ve taken liberties and thrown out the canon plot for the sake of NOTHING BUT A GIANT PILE OF FLUFF. Seriously, it’s too fluffy. This is ridiculous.))

It wasn’t often that Regis had a seven year old demanding to meet with him. In fact, he could safely say this was the first time that it had happened; even the Crownsguard at the doors looked amused as Ignis Scientia stepped into the room and strode up to face the throne with purpose, and a quick bow.

“Ignis,” Regis said, no lack of fondness to his tone. “I’ve been informed that you demanded an official audience with me. Might I ask why?”

It was impressive enough that the young advisor in training had known which form he needed to file to request a formal audience with the king. Even more impressive that he’d filled it out and filed it with the Crownsguard himself. Regis couldn’t deny he was curious as the child drew himself up to his full height, trying to appear as if he was prepared for a battle of wits.

“His Highness said that you met with the Duchess of Shieldguard yesterday to discuss treaties,” Ignis said, words obviously rehearsed, carefully chosen and said with articulate care. “He heard rumors that this treaty might include an arranged marriage with the Duchess’ youngest daughter.”

Regis raised an eyebrow. “Oh?” he said, feigning ignorance. The meeting had included no such marriage talks, but he wasn’t going to come out and say that right away. He was curious as to what Ignis could possibly have to say about such a thing.

“I would simply like to say that, if such an arrangement is being planned…he doesn’t want to marry her,” Ignis continued, that statement a little weaker before he lifted his chin and crossed his arms across his chest. “I’ll marry him instead. So there won’t be any need for him to marry her.”

One of the Crownsguard almost lost it, but managed to turn their choked laugh into a cough. Regis, meanwhile, was barely holding back a grin.

“Are you asking for my son’s hand in marriage, then?”

“Well, obviously not yet. I’m simply saying- he won’t be marrying anyone against his will. I’ll marry him so he doesn’t have to.”

Regis chuckled and shook his head; oh, to be so young and naïve again. But it was an excellent reminder of just how devoted Ignis had become to his charge. It was heartwarming to watch, truly, as Noctis came out of his shell and finally made a friend, even if said friend was technically his ‘employee’.

“I assure you, Ignis, that no such plans have been made. And if we ever do intend to arrange such a thing, you’ll be the first to know,” he said with a kind smile and a warm, fond feeling in his chest for this brave boy. “Will that be all, then?”

Ignis blinked in surprise; obviously he’d expected more of a verbal fight than that, but he recovered quickly, to his credit. “Yes, Your Majesty. That…that was all. I should get back to my duties.”

Regis waved him on, and Ignis bowed stiffly before making his way out of the throne room. Luckily, the two Crownsguard by the door managed to hold it together until the boy was out of earshot, but Regis could forgive them for laughing as soon as it was safe to do so.

“He never reads the counsel notes I take for him. He doesn’t finish his homework on time. He has no motivation to eat any of the healthy meals prepared for him. With all due respect, Your Majesty, I don’t know what more you expect me to do.”

Noctis shot Ignis a glare; at 14 and 16, they were both going through equally stubborn teenage phases. Hence why Regis was trying to play mediator, after hearing that they’d been having an ongoing squabble.

“If he wasn’t such a perfectionist, then maybe I’d be able to get more done,” Noctis snapped right back, crossing his arms defiantly. “Whatever I do is never good enough!”

“I won’t have you half-assing your responsibilities. You need to learn some sense of decorum and pride in how you care for yourself and your duties,” Ignis said in return, and Regis held up a hand.

“A moment, you two,” he said, his voice as calm as ever. “Ignis; our young prince is under a lot of stress at the moment. Perhaps we could schedule a couple of evenings off each week to allow time for him to unwind. And in return, Noctis will make more of an effort to focus on his studies on the other days. Can I trust you two to work that out?”

Neither boy looking particularly satisfied, but it seemed they’d gotten the worst of the argument out of their systems. Noctis nodded stiffly, and Ignis sighed.

“Of course, Your Majesty. I apologize that this went so far as to get back to you.”

Noctis rolled his eyes. “Can we send a royal expedition to remove the stick from my advisor’s ass?” he asked, and Regis gave Noctis an amused look.

“Is that any way to talk about your fiancé?”

It was worth the sputtering and blushing from both parties, even if it didn’t particularly help matters.

Dad (3:42 p.m.): I saw on the news that your girlfriend broke up with you.Dad (3:42 p.m.): My condolences.

Noct (3:45 p.m.): astrals, does everyone know now?

Dad (3:45 p.m.): I would assume so, since it’s the top headline on Insomnia Times website.

Noct (3:46 p.m.): see, this was why she broke up with meNoct (3:46 p.m.): we couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without cameras in our facesNoct (3:47 p.m.): it’s really fucking annoying

Dad (3:48 p.m.): Well, it’s something your significant other will have to put up with. Consider it a trial by fire, I suppose.Dad (3:48 p.m.): But I must ask, why were you dating her?

Noct (3:50 p.m.): um, cause I liked her? what do you mean why?

Dad (3:50 p.m.): Seems rather rude, to be dating someone when you’re already engaged.

Noct (3:50 p.m.) OMFG DAD HE WAS SEVENNoct (3:51 p.m.): i can’t believe you still even remember thatNoct (3:51 p.m.): i’m not talking to you anymore

Dad (3:52 p.m.): Rude. How am I to get the guest list together if you’re not going to tell me who to put on it?

Noct (3:52 p.m.):  凸(-_-)凸

Noctis was despondent. Regis could tell that much for one reason; rather than Ignis telling the king that his son needed his attention, it was Noctis himself who asked if his father had an afternoon to spare to meet him in the gardens. And of course, Regis would always make time for his son whenever he could.

Noctis was sitting on a bench in front of a stunning row of flowering bushes, the white flowers a stark contrast to the dark hair and clothes of the figure on the bench. Noctis was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, a frown furrowing his brow. He didn’t even look up as Regis made his way over, sat down, and set his cane against the side of the bench.

“Well…it must be bad indeed, if you asked for my aid,” he teased in a soft, gentle tone after a few long moments of silence. Noctis snorted and shook his head, but didn’t say anything at first; Regis merely gave him the time he needed, ready to listen when Noctis was ready to speak.

“Has…has there ever been a king or queen who didn’t produce an heir? Didn’t want to?” he asked, and Regis bit back a sigh. Of course; he’d had the feeling this was coming.

“Of course,” he said, thinking back to the long history of the Lucian kings that he’d set to memory. “It’s never an easy decision, nor a popular one. But, for various reasons over the centuries, there have been times when…the line of succession had to take a bit of a jog.”

Noctis looked up, but only for a moment. Every part of him was still except his right hand, which was fiddling with the hem of the glove on his left hand. “And…have there been kings and queens who decided to…be with someone of the same sex?” he asked, the words hushed, almost shamed. Regis felt a pang of sharp sympathy for his son, this troubled, caring young man with the weight of a kingdom on his shoulders.

“Yes. Though I imagine that it would be easier for today’s populace to handle, given how far things have come.”

Noctis swallowed hard, his throat bobbing with the motion, and he finally looked up at his father. “You wouldn’t be ashamed of me?”

“I could never be ashamed of you for who you choose to love, Noctis. I will always support you in that, whatever you decide, and we will adjust the royal line of succession as necessary to ensure that you’re accommodated for that,” Regis said without a single beat of hesitation. “It will not be easy. The media will be like sharks in bloody waters. You will need to be the strongest you’ve ever been, even with my own strength behind you- and so will whoever you choose to stand by your side.”

Silence fell again, and Noctis nodded once, sniffling a little. “Thanks, dad,” he said, and then he paused again, staring down at the cobblestone path. When he spoke again, it was almost too soft to be heard. “I…I think I’m in love with Ignis.”

Regis snorted. “Well, I should hope so. You’ve been engaged for ten years now.”

And okay, Regis probably deserved the smack on the shoulder he got for that one, but he’d never claimed to have well timed jokes.

The wedding wasn’t an extravagant affair; Noctis would have hated that. Of course, it had to be elegant and well put together, and the guest list was still too long for the grooms’ liking, but they managed to make it work. Through the whole ceremony, the only hiccup came when Prompto got in too close with his camera and nearly tripped Noctis right into the officiant.

But it was perfect, either way. Both Noctis and Ignis were sharply dressed in simple suits, and they managed to get through their vows with only the slightest bit of stammering on Noctis’ part and one cringingly bad pun from Ignis.

Now Regis was watching them have their first dance, and he couldn’t have been prouder of his son. They’d survived the media frenzy when they first made their relationship public, and again when they announced the engagement and the wedding, and they’d come out the other side stronger for it.

Regis smiled as he watched Ignis lean in and whisper something in Noctis’ ear as they swayed in time to the music, and Noctis laughed, looking happier than he’d seemed to be in years. Clarus, sitting beside him, shook his head and laughed.

“Who would have thought? A prince and his advisor,” the man said. “This will be one for the history books.”

Regis smirked, just a little. “Oh, I had a hunch this might happen. Call it fatherly intuition.”

[themutantunderground]

Let Your Heart Be Light Ch. 3

THE CHRISTMAS FIC!!! Okay, get ready for a lot of shorter updates as I try to finish this in like 3 days! :D

Ao3 | FF.net

"And here, take these over to Denise," Aunt Evelyn said, pressing a tin of cookies into John's hands. He was trying to get out the door with Riley and James but Riley was hunting for her favorite hat and James was actually refusing to wear a jacket. Which was ridiculous, it was gearing up for snow outside.

"Yes, ma'am," John said, holding onto the tin as he shot a glare at James. "We're going to be late and it's going to be your fault. We're not leaving until you put a coat on."

"You're worse than Aunt Evelyn," James said, leaning against the doorway that led into the den. "I'm fine, I've got on long sleeves."

"It's not here," Riley complained, her voice muffled since she was digging around in the coat closet by the front door. "I think it's lost."

"Can't you wear a different hat?" Aunt Evelyn said, "And James, go get a coat, it's freezing. See, John's not worse than me."

James made a disgruntled noise opened the closet wider so he could grab a coat.

"It's my favorite," Riley complained. She stepped around James and out of the closet, a pout on her face. "I don't want to wear a different one."

"Here, wear this one." James grabbed a black toboggan and plunked it down on Riley's head, pulling it down so it covered her dark brown eyes.

She immediately pulled it off and flung it back at him. "It smells like boy! I'm not wearing your hat."

"There's this one." James snagged another toboggan, this one with a massive pink pom-pom on it, and tried to put it on Riley's head. She shoved at his hands and then darted toward John, hiding behind his legs.

"You wear it!" she said, shooting James a frown. "I want my hat…"

John glanced at his phone and ran his hand over Riley's head, giving her braid a tug. "Kiddo, you might have to wear a different hat. I wasn't kidding about being late."

James shrugged on his coat and smirked down at Riley. "Pom-pom nightmare for you."

"You don't have to make it worse," John said, rolling his eyes as Riley stuck her tongue out at James.

Eventually they made it out the door and to the truck after getting Riley to accept a less-fantastic but somehow-okay bright blue, sparkly toboggan. They piled in and headed down the road, partially blinded by all the Christmas lights in their neighborhood.

"Wow, is that a whole merry-go-round with reindeer?" John asked incredulously as they drove past the Camerons' house.

"Yuh-huh," Riley piped up from the backseat, "And if you turn the radio, their house lights up with the songs. It's so cool."

"She's not serious," John said, looking over at James for confirmation.

His little brother smirked. "She's dead serious. Those people are more dedicated to their Christmas display than ever since Sarah went off to college."

"I like it," Riley said, leaning forward. "Can we go drive through the town to look at the lights after practice, John?"

"No, Riles, we're not feeding your addiction," James said. He put a hand on her forehead and pushed her backwards into her seat but she struggled against him.

"I didn't ask you, I asked John!"

"As long as it doesn't go too late and Ms. D doesn't mind if Norah goes," John said.

"And Norah's friend," Riley said, sitting back now that she had gotten some sort of agreement. She leaned against the window and drew little pictures on the foggy glass.

"Right," John said, wondering who exactly that friend was. Probably one of the other kids from the neighborhood. While they were at the Fergusons, he was going to have to ask when Clarice was getting home. That way he would have some time to mentally prepare before seeing her again.

The drive to the Fergusons was only a couple minutes since they lived at the end of the lane. John grinned as he recognized the fake reindeer standing in Ms. D's bushes as the same one that Marcos had shot so long ago. It had been before John had moved to town, but he had heard the story dozens of times. Cupid was wearing a Santa hat, and he had a big silver heart made of duct tape over the hole from Marcos' arrow.

Riley exploded from the truck when James opened her door, racing around the front and launching herself up the steps. John and James followed at a more sedate pace. John glanced at James, wondering why he wasn't arguing more about going to this play practice thing. Normally he would have refused to go, especially because Riley kept dropping hints about the play needing more people, which John assumed meant that the director might try to absorb them into the production. But James hadn't complained yet, so John was guessing that he had ulterior motives.

Riley was ringing the doorbell for the fourth time when John reached the door. He picked her up and shook his head at her. "Stop abusing the doorbell."

"I don't think they heard me," she said, straining toward the door.

"I think the whole neighborhood heard you," James said.

Finally, the door opened, jingle bells ringing as Norah appeared. She smiled and turned around, opening the door wider. "Riley's here!"

"Oh good," Ms. D said, walking out from the hallway that led to the kitchen. She glanced over at the stairs and then came to the doorway, waving her hands. "Come in, get out of the cold for a moment."

"Can't stay long, we have to go," Norah said.

John set Riley down, and she automatically raced over to Norah, grabbing her friend's hand. Norah was a few years older than Riley, but living on the same street and going to the same school had turned them into friends a long time ago. "I can't wait for practice!"

"Me neither," Norah said, but John noticed how she kept looking at the stairs, just like Ms. D.

John held out the cookie tin to Ms. D. "Aunt Evelyn sent those over for you."

"That was nice of her," Ms. D said, "Tell her thank you and that we'll be sending some back in a couple days."

John nodded, knowing that Ms. D would probably send a whole box of Christmas snacks back as a 'thank you.' She was really into baking this time of year. "I guess we should get going."

"We can't yet," Norah said, shaking her head, "We have to wait."

"They're going to start practice without you guys," James said, frowning.

"They can't," Norah said, putting her hands on her hips, "Or they won't."

John was about to ask why when he heard someone coming down the stairs. Must be Norah's…friend… His eyes widened at the sight of Clarice, her hand on the banister as she hurried down the stairs. She skipped the last one and came to stand between James and Ms. D, as if nothing about this whole situation was shocking. "Hey," she said breathlessly, "Sorry, I couldn't find my socks." She stuck out a leg and pulled her jeans leg up, showing off a tall evil Frosty sock. "The other one is an exploding reindeer."

"Clarice," John said, staring at her, "You…" He swiped a hand back through his hair, completely caught off guard. "Hey."

There was a tiny smothered giggle from Norah and Riley's direction, and he shook his head.

"I didn't know you were home yet," he said, gathering his composure even as he continued to simply look at her. Her hair was longer and dark purple, loose curls playing around her shoulders. She had on a hooded grey long-sleeve and dark jeans with worn patches, plus a pair of black Converses.

Clarice was beautiful.

"Just got in today," she said, looking back at him, dark green eyes as captivating as ever. He didn't fail to notice the blush in her cheeks, though that was surely from racing down the stairs, not because of him or anything. "Did you get even more muscles, Superman?"

"Maybe," he said, falling into a grin even as his emotions roiled. He was happy to see her even if it brought up a lot of memories he didn't want to face, like sitting on a bench in a park far away as she ended things.

James made a face. "Okay, let's go before you guys find some mistletoe for an excuse to start making out."

Okay, James was going to have to die later. "Wait, what about Norah's friend?" John said, tearing his eyes away from Clarice so he could fully glower at his little brother. Way to make things extra awkward.

Ms. D had a mischievous smile on her face, and Norah walked over to Clarice, taking her hand. "Clarice is my friend, she's coming with us."

Riley smiled at Clarice. "You can sit in the front seat, I'll make James sit with us." She pointed at James. "You're in the middle!" With a laugh, she grabbed Norah's hand and took off, darting out the door.

"Hey, no! No way," James said, going after them. He gave Ms. D a little salute at the door. "Later, Ms. D."

"Be good, James," she said, and then clapped her hands together as she looked at Clarice and John. "You two better go catch them before they destroy the truck."

"Right," John said, looking at Clarice again. "You don't mind riding shotgun?"

"As long as I get to pick the radio station, I don't mind."

This was going to be interesting…

[5hfanfiction]

I Can do that With My Eyes Closed: Chapter 6

“This is so exciting!” Normani climbs up the ladder of the brand new wooden bunk bed set up in Camila’s room. The five girls had spent the entire day at Ikea, purchasing new furniture. Since Camila’s room, like all the other college rooms, was decently small, they had decided that three desperate beds, even twin sized, would be awfully crowded. Thus leading to the decision to buy a bunk bed.

The entire drive home had been Dinah and Normani battling for the top bunk, Lauren boasting about her new memory foam mattress cover, and Camila trying her best to DJ despite the noise. It took them almost an hour by itself to heave the large and incredibly awkwardly shaped box up the stairs (since it had been coincidentally too big for the elevator by an inch) and even longer to step the damn thing up (which they had too take apart twice after Dinah attached it wrong).

They had all stood to admire their work, each bed already managing to look personally like the owner. Dinah, who had lost a very long and dedicated game of rock-paper-scissors, ended up with the bottom bunk. Even if Camila didn’t previously know whom the bunk belonged too, it wouldn’t be hard too tell it was Dinah’s. She had a plain white comforter with a large ocean wave on it and dangling from the bars above where she slept, were pictures of her very large family. Normani’s comforter was an elegant navy blue color and her large beat headphones were draped across the railing surrounding her bed. Already, a pair of shoes was shoved to the end of her bed.

“I mean, it’s just like any other time you guys have slept over, except now we won’t sleep on the floor or squished on the couch.” Camila tried to stay cool because secretly she was a bit upset that they were sharing a bunk bed and she had to sleep by herself across the room.

“No way Chanch. This is way different. We can actually sleep in beds! Do you know how long it’s been since my back hasn’t hurt after waking up?” Dinah stretched her back and grimaced to prove her point. She walked over to her bed and let herself flop into the bed with a content sigh.

Camila frowned feeling slightly guilty. The whole reason that Dinah was sleeping on the couch in the first place was to watch Camila. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

Dinah shrugs. “No biggie.”

Normani leans over the edge of the top bunk and looks down at the two girls. “Nice and comfy.” She makes a big show to snuggle into her silk pillow (yes silk, Normani would settle for nothing less) with a smile.

Camila rolls her eyes at the two girls who were acting slightly like children on Christmas morning. “Yeah, yeah. Do you guys want to try something on the list or just go to bed?” Camila asks, it had been an exhausting day and they were all extremely tired.

Dinah yawns from her spot on the bed and pulls a taped napkin off of the wall where it hangs next to her bed. “Let’s see…..” She examines the list. “We could…. well no, that’s sounds stupid. Well we could… no too much work.”

Camila sighs and decides to take a seat. “Today Dinah.” She nags playfully.

Dinah rolls her eyes at Camila but scrolls down the list with a little more motivation this time. “Okay fine, this one here says acupressure. Chinese medical theory…. blah, blah, blah…. Alleviate sleeplessness. Why not?”

Camila raises her eyebrow because acupressure sounds a lot like acupuncture and Camila is not too fond of being stabbed by several needles. She thinks that might be the last thing to get her to sleep better. “Why do i get the feeling Laur wrote that down?” Camila asks curiously.

“Probably because she did.” Dinah snorts. She stands up from her bed and turns towards the upper bunk. “You ready Mani….” Dinah looks up to find Normani completely passed out in her large pile of blankets, soft snores escaping her parted lips. “Okay, just me and you then.” Dinah walks over to Camila’s bed and sits down. “Yeah this was definitely Lauren’s suggestion, its got step by step instructions in perfect handwriting.”

Camila chuckles, but it’s interrupted by a large yawn. Once she recovers, she clarifies. “So this doesn’t actually involve needles does it? Because i kinda hate needles.”

Dinah shakes her head. “Nope, not from what i can tell.”

“So how does it work then?” Camila questions.

Dinah straightens out the napkin and squints her eyes as she reads. “Step one…” She pauses to laugh. “God what a dork.”

Camila has to agree.

“Alright, step one, between your eyebrows, there is a small depression on the level of your brows, right above the nose. Apply gentle pressure to the point.” Dinah read allowed.

Camila scrunches her nose and tries her best to follow directions. “Here?” She asks when she has her thumb placed on the spot she thinks is correct.

“More to the center.” Dinah directs. “Oh god, i think she drew pictures…. and they are surprisingly really good.” Dinah comments as she observes the napkin.

“She is an art student Dinah. Here?” Camila asks holding her thumb way to high.

“No down, too far, no you aren’t in the center now…. Let me do it.” Dinah finally gives up on directing Camila. She steps closer to Camila, standing only a few inches away from her face and presses her thumb to the center of Camila’s forehead, placing it directly between her two eyebrows. She presses down. “Am i pressing too hard?” She asks cautiously.

Camila can smell Dinah’s spearmint toothpaste and she gulps at the closeness. “Uh…no. That’s fine.”

Dinah holds her thumb in place for a minute before removing it from the patch of skin on her forehead. She still has yet to realize that Camila can hear every breath the blonde girl takes and practically feel her body heat radiating off of her body. “Now it says you are supposed to massage both of your ears for a minute each.”

Dinah doesn’t even attempt to explain to Camila how, instead, she brushes Camila’s hair behind her ear and begins rubbing small circles with her fingers into Camila’s ear, one hand on each ear. Camila’s ears are cold, due to having not the best circulation, but Dinah’s warm hands begin to knead warmth into the soft skin. Dinah moves impossibly closed to Camila so that she can get a view of both ears. Camila’s breath hitches when she notices. She can see Dinah’s eyebrows scrunched up in concentration and how Dinah’s slightly dry lips are only inches from her own. She feels Dinah’s thumb stop to brush at her cheek for a second before resuming her massage.

After a minute, she stops, only then realizing how close she is to Camila. They make eye contact and Camila glances unconsciously to Dinah’s lips. Dinah breathes out and her minty breath makes Camila’s lips cold. She thinks that Dinah’s plump lips look like the perfect thing to warm them up.

Except then Dinah takes a few steps back and begins reading the final step and Camila realizing what she had been doing. She thinks that maybe Dinah will freak out or ask her about it, but Dinah doesn’t seem to have noticed. “It says now you are supposed to press the area between your first and second toes until you feel a dull ache….? Sorry Chanch but I ain’t touching your feet.”

Camila would usually laugh, except she doesn’t. Not because it wasn’t funny, because that is exactly the kind of not-funny, bad jokes that make Camila giggle. Her brain is spinning. Had she really just wanted Dinah to kiss her? Camila knows she’s gay, she’s known possibly her whole life (of course junior year was the year she finally came to terms with it) and right now is no exception, but Dinah? Dinah is Camila’s best friend. She loves her, but as a friend.

And yet, she was proved otherwise. She had been unable to stop herself from staring at Dinah’s lips and she had been thinking about how much she wanted their lips too touch and last time Camila checked, that was not what platonic best friends did.

Sure, Dinah was pretty. In fact, Camila would argue that she was one of the most effortlessly beautiful people Camila has ever met… maybe ever seen. She was practically flawless and Camila would be lying if she said that she wasn’t at least a little bit attracted t the blonde girl, but she was pretty sure that the slight attractiveness was it. Nothing more.

Camila likes to think that she is in tune with her emotions. She likes to thinks that she even feels sometimes before she thinks (which more often than not is a bad thing). Had she really began developing feelings for the girl? Did she want to-

“Mila?” Dinah’s steady voice brings her from her thoughts and she realizes that she has been staring at Dinah with a concerned look on her face the whole time she was zoned out. Of course, that was probably just a coincidence, right?

Camila blinks away her thoughts and clear her vision. “Hmm?” She responds.

“You okay?” Dinah has a concerned look in her eyes that Camila thinks is kinda cute. The way that her eyebrows scrunch together and how she….shit. She just did it again didn’t she?

She swallows before realizing that Dinah has been waiting for an answer for longer than she should have and Camila tries her best to cover it up. “What? Oh yeah, I’m just suddenly super tired. I zoned out.” She forces a chuckle to make it seem more realistic.

Dinah smiles back at the girl, hopping into her bed and pulling the covers up to her chin before rolling onto her stomach so that she faces Camila. “You gonna finish?” Dinah lifts the napkin that she holds and tapes it back onto the wall.

“Oh yeah….” Camila brings her foot to her hands and does as the directions say. She wonders how Lauren knows this stuff. She begins to feel a dull ache like the directions had said she would and she furrows her brow wondering how this would actually help. Or maybe it wouldn’t, who knows?

Dinah yawns while she watches Camila with a playful look on her face. She glances at the wall when Camila is done. “Oh, there is actually one more step. Another foot thing. Maybe Lauren has some weird foot fetish.” Dinah jokes.

Camila’s thoughts keep trying to pull her back into a deep discussion about Dinah, but Camila manages to mostly pay attention and she laughs. “Lauren probably read this somewhere you perv. Go ahead.” She motions for Dinah to continue.

Dinah smirks but clears her throat dramatically and reads the list once more. “Imagine that your foot has three sections, beginning at the tips of your toes and ending at the back of your heel. Got that?”

Camila tires her best to take it serious but she still laughs as she closes her eyes and imagines the sections as told to do so.

“Okay, find the distance one-third back from the tips of your toes and press on the sole of your foot for a few minutes. Damn who finds out these things?” Dinah comments before glancing up to see Camila rubbing at her foot and pressing the bottom. “I mean it looks really weird, how does it feel?”

Camila continues to do as the instructions say for a few minutes before deciding she had done it long enough. She turns to get into her bed and worms her way under the covers. Once she is all settled and the lights are off she answers, “It feels weird. Like all tingly.”

Dinah hums in response.

“This also feels weird.” Camila comments to no one in particular.

Dinah responds anyways. “Sleeping in an actual bed?” She asks tiredly.

“Well yeah, but i mean, like not only that. Sleeping in my bed, in my room, but with company. If that makes sense.” Camila tries her best to explain.

There is a rustling noise as Dinah rolls over in her bed. “What do you mean? You’ve never shared a room before? Haven’t you ever had like a sleepover at your house? Before college i mean?”

Camila sighs. “Nope. Never.”

Dinah isn’t too surprised that Camila hasn’t shared a room before. After all, not everyone has seven siblings like Dinah did. She is however, surprised that Camila has never had a sleepover. “You’ve never had a sleep over before college?” She asks sort of loudly and Normani moans a bit in her sleep. “Sorry.” She apologizes to the sleeping girl.

“No, but i wanted too.” Camila yawns before she can continue.

“So why didn’t you?” Dinah asks after trying to come up with something to say, even though Camila’s last sentence kinda sounds like the end of their conversation.

The question is never answered and Dinah assumes it’s because Camila has fallen asleep, a second set of lungs produce the steady breathing of sleep across the room. Dinah thinks about what Camila meant, though she assumes it isn’t a big deal, Dinah wonders why Camila never goes into detail about her life. In fact, Dinah realizes that Camila hasn’t really told Dinah anything about her life. She decides to try her best to get the girl to open up, after she gets a good night’s sleep of course.

Camila hopes that by steadying her breathing would make Dinah think that she was asleep. Dinah doesn’t talk again and soon her best friend’s snores are harmonizing with Normani’s. She is in that state of being where she really should be asleep, except she isn’t. The one where her mind is still awake enough that she is able to comprehend what she thinks, not yet dreaming, but still not fully awake.

She can’t help but let her mind drift to what had happened earlier with their almost kiss. Well, Camila can’t really even call it an almost kiss because they didn’t kiss. She doesn’t even think that the thought crossed Dinah’s mind. It was only Camila who looked at Dinah’s lips and only Camila who well…. wanted them to touch her own.

She can’t fall for Dinah. She knows this. There are multiple reasons against her. One main reason being that well, Camila is gay. No one knows that she is gay. She can’t tell them either, she can’t give anything away. They might hate her, and she has tried so damn hard to get these girls to like her and to make friends that she can’t do anything to lose that. She can’t lose them. Not now.

The other main factor being that Dinah is straight. Not literally. Literally Dinah has beautiful curves and a really nice butt. Sexually however, Dinah is straight as a ruler. Camila has only ever heard Dinah talk about boys. Boy arms, boy hands, boy abs, boy eyes, just boys. And it’s pretty frequent too.

Camila finds herself getting slightly upset and she sighs, rolling over to her side. She can’t think of this right now. She doesn’t need to be thinking of it right now. She likes Dinah… but as a friend. In a strictly platonic way. Like communism dictator from world war two kind of strict.

She is really tired. She can’t think about this anymore. So she didn’t. She lets black wave after black wave wash over her vision until her eyes drift shut and her breathing becomes deep and even. 

-

-

Lauren likes to get up early. What can she say? She enjoys the feeling of having so much time to get things done. It makes her feel productive. In her opinion, the morning was one of the best parts of the day. She can’t help but appreciate the silence of Ally’s room and the smell of coffee from the extremely fancy (self-timing) coffee machine Lauren had spent her entire month’s budget on. She loves the quiet chirping of birds. She loves doing her morning yoga. And she especially loves how empty the school cafeteria is at seven in the morning. She took full advantage of her mornings.

Currently, she sits on one of the many white cafeteria tables. She always takes the one in the farthest corner of the room where she can people watch. Because she is sitting in that very spot, she happens to notice a girl looking in her direction.

The girl she thinks she recognizes from her painting class. Usually, the girl is decked out in ponytails and paint covered t-shirts and Lauren finds it hard to recognize her in her current clothing; a loose tank top, exercise pants, running shoes, and a black headband pulled around her hair.

The girl looks nervous, Lauren can tell that she is slightly talking to herself. They meet eye contact and the girl blushes like she has been caught. She looks around just to make sure that Lauren is for sure looking at her and when she realizes that she is the only person in the vicinity, her cheeks turn from pink to red. She seems to take a deep breath before walking in Lauren’s direction.

“Hey Lauren!” She smiles when she is within talking range. She reaches the table and takes a seat across from Lauren. “That’s your name right? Please say yes.” She almost pleads.

Lauren laughs and nods. “Yes, my name is Lauren.”

The girl looks relieved and she relaxes a bit in her seat, leaning her elbows on the table. “I’m Lucy, we have art together. I have to say, i saw your last piece and it completely blew my mind.” Lucy makes little explosions noises and Lauren can’t help but giggle because it’s obvious that Lucy is really nervous.

Lauren remembers more about the girl now. Very clearly in fact. She blushes a little bit at the compliment, one because Lucy pays attention to her art, and too because Lucy is possible Lauren’s top competitor for top spot in the class. She tries her best to hide her blush and play it cool to keep up her bad ass reputation (for some reason when people meet her they seem to realize that she isn’t). “Wow, thank you! That means a lot, because is saw your last piece and well, I thought it was way better than mine.”

Lucy cringes a bit. “You saw that? Damn…. I was hoping that you could see my next one, you know, after i try really hard to outdo yours.”

Lauren laughs. She decides that Lucy is really funny. Lucy looks proud. “Oh yeah?” Lauren plays along.

Lucy shrugs. “Sure.” She pauses a bit, trying to think of another conversation starter. “I haven’t seen you around the art building.” She half questions.

Lauren nods. “The noise was a bit much. I moved in with a friend in the art building.”

Lucy groans playfully. “Lucky, i swear, i have to blast my headphones to get even an ounce of good sleep.” She pauses. “I guess that means you aren’t really into parties then?”

“Not necessarily. I mean, i like partying, just not all the time. And definitely not at three in the morning when i have class at eight.” Lauren jokes.

Lucy looks slightly happier. “Okay well, this is kinda awkward.” She states. “Well actually, i guess by saying that i just made it awkward, because is wasn’t really before. Oh well.” She continues. “Anyways, I’ve been trying to work up the courage to talk to you all week and i was going to chicken out again but well you caught me.” Lucy motions over to where she had been standing five minutes prier.

“There’s this party, next Saturday. I really want to go, but you know, going to a party alone is basically asking for sex. Which I don’t really want at all and I think you are really beautiful, so would you want to go with me? It’s not for two weeks so take your time answering.” Lucy rambles ungracefully.

Luckily Lauren things it’s extremely cute. She pauses to think about it. She barely knows Lucy and college parties are kind of known for being sketchy.

Lucy takes the pause as a bad sign. “Sorry, i know we barely know each other, it’s just that all my friends are pissed off about getting caught in some prank setting of stink bombs or something and well, now they are all being super petty and they literally can’t think of anything except revenge. It’s crossed the line way too many times now and i really don’t want to be friends with those kinds of people you know? And I’m just really lonely now because college with your friends is supposed to be a jam. Except currently i have no friends.” Lucy bits her lip to direct herself back into the direction she wants. “Well the point is, is that I’m lonely, and I’ve seen you in class and sometimes i stare, you know, not in a creepy way, more in a admiring way? Because well you are really good at art and you are really beautiful and you seem like a cool person.”

Lauren thinks that when Lucy rambles, she says stuff that makes her laugh and think that Lucy is absolutely adorable. She smiles at the girl. “No sorry, that wasn’t a bad pause. I was just thinking. I would love to go to the party with you, i was just surprised is all.” She smiles back at the girl and Lucy let’s out a relieved breath.

“Oh… thank god. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. You know, usually I’m really smooth.” Lucy promises jokingly.

Lauren raises a brow. “Oh really?”

“You just wait. I’ve done the hard part. No reason to be nervous anymore. I hope…” She jokes.

Lauren shakes her head. “You know, you’re pretty funny Lucy.”

“Damn, now i have a reputation to uphold.” Lucy shakes her head.

Lauren chuckles before realizing something. “Wait, earlier did you say that your friends were getting revenge for getting caught up in some prank?”

Lucy nods. “Yeah, i mean, they were more harassing this poor girl that they blame than pranking. That’s why we aren’t friends anymore. I caught them trying to do something way out of line and they don’t have any intentions of stopping. We got into a fight about it and we aren’t on speaking terms.”

“The girl being harassed, is her name Dinah Jane?” Lauren asks curiously.

“I think so. Tall, blonde, plays volleyball?” Lucy clarifies.

“That would be the one.” Lauren confirms, the gears are already spinning in her head.

“You know her?” Lucy is now curious as to why all the questions.

“Yeah, she is one of my best friends.” Lauren watches for Lucy’s reaction.

“Oh, wow. I’m sorry. Just so you know, i totally don’t support what they are doing. I mean, i’ve told them to stop because that is just outright mean you know? It’s getting dangerous.” Lucy tries her best to show Lauren that she has no part in her ex-friends shenanigans.

Lauren nods approvingly, a smile crossing her features. “Hey, can you do me a favor?”

Lucy raises a brow at the mischievous look on Lauren’s face. “What are you thinking?”

-

-

“You guys are going to love me.” Lauren barges into Camila’s room unannounced.

She pauses as the door closes behind her and she looks at the scene in front of her. Camila sits cross legged on the couch holding a large wad of paper towels under her nose, part of which, tinted dark red. Dinah lays half on the couch, half off with her eyes closed. Lauren isn’t sure if she is asleep or not, but she looks exhausted. In one arm, Dinah holds a fresh roll of paper towels and with the other hand, two fingers grasp a trashcan.

“Doubtful.” Dinah proves Lauren that she is, in fact, awake. “Your acupuncture thingy didn’t do shit.”

Camila tries her best to give Dinah a stern look from behind her wad but ultimately fails when Dinah doesnt even bother to look up. “I ran into the bunk bed.” Camila explains with a very nasally sounding voice.

“Are you okay?” Lauren asks, doing her best to hold back a laugh trying to make its way out. Of course Camila ran into the bunk bed that they have had for less than a day.

Camila nods. “Wad me.” She mutters and Dinah doesnt even open her eyes or acknowledge the words before holding out the roll of paper towels for Camila to rip off a few sheets and moving the trashcan so that Camila can throw her currently red wad into. Dinah resumes her previous position, her face shoved into the couch cushion. “I think that your method really did help me to stay asleep better, but i still walked in my sleep… right into the bunk bed.”

Lauren can tell Camila is trying to be nice about it. “Did you check to make sure your nose isn’t broken?” Lauren bends down next to Camila’s face to try and examine the bleeding feature.

“Mani said it isn’t. Did you know her mom is a nurse? Apparently Normani nose this stuff.” Camila waits excitedly for her pun to set in and once it does Lauren bursts into a fit of laughter.

“Oh my god!” The green eyed girl wheezes.

Dinah groans from her spot next to them. “"That was so bad. I like my lifespan actually was reduced by a few years.”

“Lauren thinks its funny.” Camila defends.

“Whoopee.” Dinah grumbles.

Lauren raises an eyebrow at Camila who shrugs. “She’s been up since four.”

Lauren nods in understanding. Dinah needs her sleep, desperately. “Where is Mani?” She asks, noticing that the third roommate seems to be missing in action.

“The gym.” Camila answers. “She said something about needing to keep her abs well defined.”

Lauren smirks. “Have you seen her abs thought? Never seen any better.”

Camila wonders if this is a trick question and Lauren is asking because she suspects Camila is gay. Which she is. But Lauren can’t know that. Camila decides that she is overthinking and instead forces a stiff laugh instead of answering the question.

“Well since you’re here, I’m going to go sleep. Have fun.” Dinah rolls off the couch, leaving the paper towels and the trashcan behind and heads to the bedroom to sleep.

When she disappears, Camila remembers that Lauren came for a reason. “So why would we love you?” Camila asks before realizing how it sounded and curses. Lauren just laughs. “I mean, what were you going to tell us?”

“Oh right! Well i met this girl who is friends with a lot of the girls from the sports team. One of her really close friends is Dinah’s old roommate and some of her not so close friends are all in on the revenge pranks against Dinah.” Lauren is smiling at the news and Camila is confused as to why, because so far this doesn’t sound like good news to her.

“Okay?” She answers in the form of a question.

“So this girl, Lucy. She doesn’t agree with what her friends are doing so i talk to her right? Well she agreed to help me stop the issue.” Lauren can see Camila smiling now as she sees where this is going. “So originally I thought we should prank them back, but that would be stooping to their level, so Lucy is going to sort of spy on them until we figure out something to do.”

“And she is okay with that? I mean, if someone asked me to spy on you guys i probably would so no…. or run away.” Camila responds hesitantly.

“Yeah i made sure she was okay with it. I even told her that if she felt uncomfortable she could stop whenever she wanted too.” Lauren reassures the girl.

“Oh, okay then.” She smiles excitedly before pausing. “I don’t think we should tell Dinah yet though, in case it doesn’t work you know?”

Lauren nods. “Okay, i agree. We can surprise her if it goes well and nothing happens if it goes wrong. Good idea.”

“I feel like a spy.” Camila laughs.

“You are such a dork.”

-

-

“Camila. Mila, wake up.” Camila murmurs in her sleep and cuddles the roll of paper towels against her chest, but she shows no signs of being any more awake than she was.

Dinah sighs, plopping cross-legged onto the floor next to the couch so that she was eye level with Camila. She hates to wake Camila up, she really does. Partly because like Dinah, Camila had been up since four that morning and unlike Dinah, Camila hadn’t gotten the chance to take a nap like Dinah has. She must be exhausted. Especially with the other part being that Camila has been asleep for nearly five hours and hasn’t so much as attempted to sleep walk. Dinah knows that in the span of the past two weeks, this is the longest sleep Camila has gotten without walking around and expending her energy. The last thing she wants to do is ruin the streak.

Except, she has to. It’s nearly three and the two girls have a lyrical writing class in nearly ten minutes. Dinah has been trying to wake the girl up for the last half-hour, but considering Camila’s normal sleeping schedule and how cute she looked cuddling her face into the paper towels, Dinah hadn’t had the heart until just now.

She gently shakes Camila’s arm in another attempt to stir the girl. Camila’s eyebrows scrunch together, wrinkling her forehead and her lips form a small pout. Dinah shakes Camila’s arm again and Camila opens her eyes tiredly. Her eyelids hang half open and strands of Camila’s hair hang over her face from where they fall from her messy bun. She sees Dinah and gives the blonde a small smile, rolling onto her side to face her. Camila starts to say something, but a giant yawn interrupts and a small squeak escapes her mouth instead.

It’s weird for Dinah to see Camila like this. Sure, Dinah has been there loads of times when Camila is waking up, except usually its when Camila jolts awake from her sleep walking from some force, going directly from sleep to awake. She rarely gets to see Camila in the slow and gradual awakening stage. Dinah thinks it might be one of the cutest things she has ever seen. Maybe.

“Morning sleeping beauty.” Dinah teases.

Camila giggles after her yawn gives her control over her mouth once more. “What time is it?” She asks in a raspy voice.

Dinah checks her phone. “Almost three. We have class in ten minutes…. wait eight minutes sorry.”

The sleepy/waking up stage in between that Dinah was talking about is instantly gone as Camila hurries to her feet, nearly falling off the couch. She runs into the bedroom at full Camila speed and hurries to change into acceptable clothes. Preferably an outfit involving pants. “Why didn’t you wake me up!” She yells as works.

She can hear Dinah laughing from the other room and it gets louder as Dinah follows her to the bedroom. When she gets there, Camila is jumping up and down to pull up her jeans over her butt. “Well you never get good sleep. I thought you would need it.”

Camila looks down to zip up her pants before smiling affectionately. Dinah was so caring and sweet.

“Plus you looked kinda cute.” Dinah adds teasingly, imitating Camila cuddling her paper towels.

Camila knows Dinah is teasing, but that doesn’t stop a blush from creeping onto her cheeks and a warm feeling bubbling in her stomach. She hurries into the bathroom before Dinah notices and pulls her hair out of her bun. There was that butterfly feeling again. The one she KNOWS is completely platonic. Maybe she was just embarrassed?

She lets her hair fall around her shoulders, thanking god once again for giving her hair that she had never had to do because once again it saved her life. She then hurries out of the room, pulling on her shoes and hopping from leg to leg to do so. She loses her balance, like any Camila would do and she feels Dinah’s warm hand reach out to steady her. The butterflies never fail to make their appearance, as they have proved multiple times this morning. She chooses to ignore it.

Dinah laughs at Camila’s stumbling and Camila huffs. “Hey this is your fault you know.” She excuses her clumsiness by switching the blame.

They end up having to sprint to class. They make it to there seats just as the bell rings and the teacher wastes no time in teacher her place at the front of the room to began her lecture. Camila is breathing heavily, lets just say that she isn’t too keen on physical activity. Dinah chuckles and leans over to whisper in her ear.

“You okay there Chanch?”

Dinah’s breath tickles Camila’s ear and sends chills down her spine. Camila can feel Dinah’s lip brush against her ear lobe as Dinah pulls away. Her breath hitches in surprised and she tries her best to make a swift recovery even though she is pretty sure those pesky insects are back. “I…I don’t exercise much.” She hopes she sounds casual but the stutter says otherwise.

Dinah smirks in her usually playful manner. Camila wonders how Dinah seems to always keep herself cool, collected, and charismatic. “Yeah, I can see that.” She teases.

Camila crosses her arms. “Shut up. You’re on the volleyball team! You practice three times a week! And you have great abs.” Camila whisper yells. She doesn’t even realize what she is saying until the words are out of her mouth and she curses herself silently for being so awkward and obvious.

It’s been less than a day since she wanted to kiss Dinah (which she decided definitely had nothing to do with a crush…what crush?) and she is already acting like a fool.

Luckily for her, the teacher looks in their direction and whatever it was that Dinah was going to say in response was cut off. “We start our first assignment today.” The teacher directs, knowingly at the two best friends in the back.

Camila blushes (this time she knows its in embarrassment but she still wishes she didn’t blush so much, people probably think she has a really bad sunburn or something) and pretends to look really focused while Dinah nods like she was paying attention the whole time. Lies. Their conversation is forced to an end. Camila feels a little bit grateful towards the teacher, but don’t tell Dinah.

“You will be working in groups of two during the class period to write a song…. don’t worry. Not the whole thing, just the lyrics. Think of it as a poem if you want to.” A large sigh of relief sounds through the class and the teacher chuckles. “Normally I would assign you partners but seeing as this is a college class, I’m hoping you all are mature enough to pick your own partners that you can work efficiently with.” The teacher eyes a particular group of boys a few rows down.

Dinah turns to Camila with a cheesy smile and Camila chuckles. “Hey partner!”

Dinah looks confused. “Oh, sorry Camila. I was smiling at the guy behind you.”

Camila blushes (that awful sunburn again) and stutters. “Oh, y….yeah of course. Sorry.” She feels her heart sink a bit from feeling left out and dejected but then Dinah coos at Camila and pulls the girl into a hug.

“Awww, Chanch, I was only joking. Of course I was smiling at you. Who else am i going to be partners with besides my best friend?” Dinah ruffles Camila’s hair affectionately.

Camila shrugs. She can’t believe that over something so little she went through so many emotions. Man what is this girl doing to her (still definitely a friend thing).

“I dont know…I just…Do you have a piece of paper?” Camila thinks that Dinah might actually kill her one day.

Dinah nods muttering the words dork under her breath before pulling out a more crumbled than not piece of paper from her bag. Camila should have known better than to expect a nice new sheet. She shakes her head teasingly and Dinah smirks. “Hey you asked for paper, i gave you paper.”

Camila can’t complain. She just nods. “Okay fine, do you want to start?”

Let’s write about love.“ Dinah suggests.

Camila’s eyes go wide because Dinah says it all so casually and Camila isn’t sure if Dinah know’s something that she shouldn’t, something involving a certain crush (that definitely isn’t a crush) and a certain someone (that definitely isn’t Dinah). She coughs to give her a reason to hide her face in her arm for a minute and when she turns back to Dinah who gives her a strange look, she hopes she looks collected. "What do you mean love?”

“Love is easy to write about. I mean, everyone has been in love at some point.” Dinah comments. Camila frowns and luckily Dinah is distracted by a boy three rows Dinah who spilled the contents of his backpack onto the floor.

Everyone has been in love? Does that mean Dinah has been in love?

“Have…..Have you been in love?” Camila asks, tapping her pencil against their paper and writing their names really slowly so she doesn’t have to look up.

Dinah turns away from the boy and nods. “Yeah, i mean i was in high school so who knows to what extent, but i think i was in love.”

Camila feels her heart sink because if everyone has been in love, why hasn’t Camila? She feels extremely inexperienced. The idea of Dinah being in love with someone else adds to the weight of her sinking heart. She bites her lip and now that Dinah doesn’t have a distraction, she picks up on Camila’s behavior.

“Chanch, have you…. have you never been in love?” Dinah’s voice goes from loud and confident to soft and gentle.

Camila shakes her head. “No, i haven’t ever been in love.” She feels so innocent in comparison… which she kind of is.

“Oh.” Dinah pauses. “I mean, that’s okay. Not everyone has been in love. I’m sure when you finally do fall in love it will be amazing. Like all of those cheesy ass love songs that people sing will finally make sense and whoever it is who you love will be damn lucky.” Dinah smiles comfortingly and Camila feels a little better.

“We can still write about love songs if you want, I mean I’ve heard enough of those cheesy ass love songs to get the idea.” Camila playfully throws Dinah’s words back and Dinah laughs.

“Okay,” Dinah nods. “I’ll start and you just add on whenever okay?”

They spend a bit going back and forth, taking turn writing their poem/lyrics. The first few lines turn out really good and they end up with possible potential. Of course, it all goes downhill after Dinah asks Camila to think of something romantic that rhymes with rose and just to make Dinah laugh, she answers with hoes.

The entire thing turns into a competition of who can make who laugh the most and there aren’t any rules or limits. Dinah tells Camila that her jokes are lame, but Camila somehow ends up winning when Dinah pees a little because she was laughing so hard. Needless to say, the teacher walks around to check their walk thus far and Camila uses up her entire eraser in an effort to rid everything they wrote.

They end up with ten minutes left of class with only the first verse, bridge, and beginning of the chorus done.

“Okay, focus Chanch. We actually need to finish this now.” This it the forth time Dinah has said that, but hey, maybe this time she means it. Dinah tries to keep a straight face as Camila laughs.

Camila manages to bit her lip to stop herself from laughing and she takes a few deep breaths. “Okay, alright, let’s do this.”

Dinah reads over what they have, taking note of what they need. “Okay, so we just need another verse, to finish the chorus, and we have… ten minutes. We can do this.” Dinah decides. “So we need something that describes a feeling you feel when in love for the verse.”

Camila nods and begins thinking. Knowing she has never been in love, she tries to think of something to use as an example. Take Dinah for instance. Camila defiantly doesn’t love Dinah. As a friend, yes, but nothing more than that, at least Camila is convincing herself of that.

She thinks about the small butterflies that flap around her rib cage and tickle her heart whenever DInah does something Camila thinks is cute, but Camila decides that insects appear only out of fondness for her friend. She remembers once when she had gotten really giddy after Ally had somehow remembered Camila’s love for chocolate covered cinnamon bears and brought her some home after a hard night’s sleep. Camila had felt extremely giddy with fondness. It could be like that with Dinah as well.

Camila thinks for anything else she can use as an example, but after she comes up blank, she decides that the (strictly platonic) feelings for Dinah would have to do. “How about that feeling when your heart swells too big for your chest. Like it swells with love for that person. Like your entire heart is reserved specifically for y…that person.” Camila suggests.

Dinah nods excitedly. “You make my heart swell to big for my chest, a feeling that’s reserved just for you, can’t be repressed!” Dinah sings softly in approval. “Yeah, i like it. You sure you haven’t been in love Chanch?”

Camila nods. “Positive.”

Dinah smirks. “You must be a hopeless romantic than.”

“Possibly.” Camila shrugs.

Dinah writes down the lyrics on the crumbled paper and Camila observes how nice and loopy her handwriting is compared to her own messy chicken scratch. It kind of reminds Camila of their personalities. Dinah is always so cool and collect. She is calm and playful and her carelessness has a sort of beautiful elegance that somehow makes her seem flawless. And Camila… well Camila is messy. Her past, her hair, her writing, her room, her everything….is just messy.

The paper is already starting to look better with Dinah’s writing on it, Camila thinks that her life has gotten a little bit better since Dinah came into it too.

A/N: You can read on wattpad up to Chapter Ten under the user DinahFantasy ( https://www.wattpad.com/user/dinahfantasy )

[saturdaysolaces]

spring term of second year: love, hate and everything in between

Hey, I’ve been gone for a while now, and even though I’ve had the intention to post multiple times during the past 5 months or so, I have not been able to bring myself to do it for reasons not worth mentioning. 

Just a heads up, this is mainly me reminding myself of my past experiences. Although not necessarily meant to be read as a normal post (because I rant on and on), I’ll still leave it here. Enjoy! (?)

All things aside, I just officially finished my second year of high school. As the title already states, it has been an incredibly rough ride both mentally and physically, but also better than I could’ve ever wished for. I’ve managed to seek something happy in every moment of despair, but it has taken me some time to get used to the idea of having utterly bad days that can’t be avoided, and that being sad and hurt and lost it just part of the deal you make in order to get the most out of life. It has undoubtedly been the hardest part of second year: admitting that there will be storms and rain amidst the fields of daisies I’ve spent so long tediously planting. I don’t want to be sad, nobody obviously does, but every bad day to me is a rock that takes weeks to lift. 

Excuse my cliche analogies. There were also a countless number of satisfactory and joyous moments that I’ve fortunately enough managed to capture. This post is me sharing those moments in the hopes of revisiting some of the happiest days of my life now when I’m feeling extremely down again. I just got out of school after having long chats and pizza with my dear friends, but today, like the whole month of may, I’ve had so many ups and downs that it really distorts my feelings.

In the span of these last 6 months of second year, I’ve 

discovered my love of science memes. me and my friends have a habit of sharing the most ridiculous ones on the day of the exam (or the night before). 

been to the library an overwhelming number of times. these are times I sometimes don’t enjoy thinking about because I struggled mentally but most of those times were spent with friends, so we had good laughs and got through it together (with the help of some very unhealthy snacks)

drank way too much coca cola. it’s become somewhat of a joke amongst me and my friend Em because we both buy it from the school’s vending machine nearly weekly (I’m amazed our teeth haven’t begun to rot away yet)

fallen in love with indie Japanese music! my recommendation would be the band For Tracy Hyde (Underwater girls is my favourite of theirs)! It’s also gotten be back to the mood of watching anime, and so I’ve done religiously for the past few months. Kill la Kill, Parasyte, Miss Kobayashi’s dragon maid and Little Witch academia are my recent faves.

Danced wanhat! They’re essentially a type of prom second-year students attend in February. The event and the dances are quite formal and traditional. Wanhat has been a thing I had been waiting for since lower secondary because they grant you the change to practically spend a day as a princess. It was, of course, stressful and wearing me seriously out during the months leading up to the big day, but definitely worth it. I got the most out of every dance, my pair was super sweet and the company afterwards everything I could’ve asked for. The highlight of the day, though, was the limo Em’s parents had kindly booked for us. We rode around the city feeling like queens.

Visited Cambridge! It is currently my ultimate dream university, and I’m planning on applying there in around one and a half year’s time. As is probably very apparent, my English is not on the level required to attend, but as my final exams are looming around the corner and one of them being English, I am hoping to develop as much as I can over the summer.

Been to CERN! It was on my bucket list and I never thought I would get to tick it off this early in my life. Basically, my school with a few others organized a trip to Switzerland and CERN that was held in late February and early March. I applied for it during the fall last year with no intention of actually getting in (mostly because the prerequisite was to excel in all-things physics which I really didn’t at the time), but so I did. We had a lot of preparatory work before the actual trip, including group presentations and visits to a university’s physics department. Then, we spent a 5 days in Switzerland, two of which we stayed in the coastal city Montreux and my physics teacher’s old boarding school where he had taught a few years back. On day three, we headed off to CERN and I can’t praise the place enough. The whole process, though, was made the best one yet by the people I got to meet and the breathtaking landscapes I saw along the way. I made friends with a girl I’ve been adoring for quite a long time since the fall of first year but I’ve never gotten the courage to walk up to her and open my mouth. We did a bunch of stuff together, the most memorable of which were probably walking to French to buy food and having alcohol-free champagne for breakfast. I really miss CERN, but I’m glad I have so many amazing memories to look back to. 

Had some really fun Valentine’s celebrations! Em had the great idea to make puzzle piece shaped cut-outs from cardboard and write messages on them. Me and my friends also drew tiny hearts onto our cheeks. Cute.

Many, many afternoons were spent in small cafes around the city, talking about everything from history to what we want to do after we retire. Needless to say, I’ve spent a ton of money on overpriced coffee.

Dropped a course. Not my happiest memory, but sixteen-year-old me would never have believed she could do something like this. I never leave something unfinished, especially it that something happens to be a course held by one of my favourite teachers whom I continue to admire. It did leave me a bit disappointed in myself because I couldn’t push through like I always have, but it was one of the best decisions I’ve done.

Overall, spent more time with my friends. Chatting over coffee or Burger King has sort of become a norm in our friend group. We’ve also had the time of our lives just going around second hand stores and half-empty shopping centres trying on the most ridiculous clothing items we can find. I’ve also taken the time to catch up with my friends from lower secondary.

Seen brain surgery up close! Well, not exactly the whole surgery, but at least the cutting-through-skull phase. Our school carried out a visit to a hospital’s neurology department, and to everyone’s surprise, we got to go into the OR while the patient was under anaesthesia and the surgeons were preparing. We also got a glimpse of the reason behind the surgery through a monitor – a tumour the size of a golf ball. The thing is though, the surgeons were exactly, and I’m not kidding, like those right out of Grey’s Anatomy – strangely excited to cut into an unsuspecting man’s brain.

Gotten some amazing friends! I’ve expanded my “core” friend group from the four it was last summer to the 8 it is now. Plus, I’ve met some really sweet and cool people who, while not being a part of the group I primarily hang out with, are still people I will remember with a warm heart. And god have we experienced a lot. I love my friends more than I ever would be able to put into words, they mean the absolute world to me. Em, X, L, S, Vee, A and V, thank you from the bottom of my heart! 

Signed the forms that officially tie me to the final exams next fall. There’s no backing away now – this is truly life or death. 

Oh and I ranked top 12 in a national biology competition that might potentially allow me to take part in a half-a-year long coaching course preparing students for the international biology olympics. The situations is still a bit unclear but technically I got accepted, so I’m hoping to start the coaching next fall! I’ll update on this later. 

There are also a million things I am grateful for right now. First and most significant of them being my friends, second being all of my teachers. I’ve always had a huge amount of appreciation towards them, but this spring for some reason brought it even more to the surface. I have endless respect for my biology teacher as she is the one pushing me towards my dreams. Something that I appreciate considerably is the fact that she really pays attention to what her students’ passions are and what they really strive for. She’s great with everyone, and today she also said how much she has respect for me – a sentence I have never heard in my life. She knows how much I love metabolic pathways and she’s really keen on what everyone’s up to, and that’s notably why she will always be one of the best people I’ve ever met. 

My physics teacher is also superb. I actually had my first course of his last fall (whereas I’ve known my biology teacher since first term of first year). Not only is he a great teacher, he also is somewhat of a comedian. He throws jokes in anywhere he can, and managed to gather a list of his quotes from his courses. It’s a bummer that I won’t ever have his classes again though because he, again, is one of those people who can really light up a room. 

Praise and compliments from the teachers I highly appreciate are my source of external motivation and that’s why I take so much pride in doing my best. I know that this path is hazardous as the thing you should do instead is rely solely on intrinsic motivation which is not dependent on such outside factors, but this is just how I’ve learnt to push through. Today was really rough for me because I was left without the feeling of being recognised as a hard-working student. I admit I’m coming off as really selfish and narcissistic but I have the best grades in my class – grades I’ve fought for at the cost of my mental well-being. After all of the work I’ve done I still left our spring festivities today empty-handed, without any scholarship or diploma. The scholarships are handed out to students based on their academic excellence. And thus, I felt completely like I hadn’t pushed hard enough. I’m running low on motivations, and it’s not good to have these kind of things happen right before I’m supposed to start revising for my final exams. I know it will bother me for a while, but I’ll be fine. I’m just a bit too dramatic when it comes to these things. Fortunately the scholarship went to Em, who deserves it 110%.

So, what about the future? It’s frightening, to say the least. I have to take my first two matriculation exams this fall, and god am I scared. Matriculation exams are basically the final exams Finnish students take before they can graduate high school. They will be spread out throughout the next one and a half years of my life, the first two next fall and the next six during spring and fall of 2020. They are all six-hour exams and I’m still left wondering how I’ll manage to concentrate for that long without having my eyes getting sore from staring at a computer screen. I would not be nearly as scared if the exams I will take first were something other than biology and English. They are exams that define whether I can even apply abroad, and thus they being the first ones stress me out inconceivably. That being said, I have to start studying for them soon. I’m heading out tomorrow with my friend L to plan our revision over the summer so that we’ll get a head start and can hit the books as soon as possible. Also, I borrowed two biology textbooks for first-year university students with the plans to study them a bit as well (and since they are in English I can get some useful practise that way too). 

As for English, I was debating on whether I should set up an actual blog or just continue using my tumblr, and I’ve decided on posting on tumblr as it is the more low-effort of the two and still pretty fun. I find that the best way to revise English is to actively write, because it enables you to find a flow and get a sense of routine when you are writing essays in the actual exams. So, expect more posts coming soon!

I wish I could remember every small bit of happiness from second year. Nevertheless, I am glad about everything I do recall, but also everything else I have experienced. My heart is full of joy.