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azrielsribbon · 4 years ago

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!!! A COURT OF SILVER FLAME SPOILERS !!!

Alternatively, Asli finished the book in like six hours and has many, many thoughts.

ON THE TOPIC OF NESTA, SOME CASSIAN AND NESSIAN AS A WHOLE.

holy shit. this is a lot.

She has grown so much, and I mean that by the little things.

I love that sjm didn’t make it so she was addicted to the wine and sex

Okay I understand Nesta was frustrating sometimes because she really was stubborn but some of the shit Cassian said was really out of line. Especially when he screamed that no one like fucking liked her.

Cassian was down so bad this entire book and I knew that the moment he said he hadn’t bed a female in two years. He was STARVINGGG

Her determination in getting down those stairs, I probably wouldve tested myself down a window or something.

I liked how she bonded with the House. It was a refreshing, different take on loneliness and finding a friend.

The House and how it looked after her. It was the biggest thing in her journey.

One theme I see in Nesta a lot is self sabotage, especially when it means the safety of others. She’s ready to throw herself in front of them.

Her banter with Cassian was really nice to read.

WHEN SHE MENTIONED HAVING A THREESOME TWICE I DIED

Cassian and his backstory was rip. It was really sad thinking about how little kid Cass really regretted some of the things that even he couldn’t control.

sjm did not disappoint with inner thoughts. Those were really refreshing.

She wasn’t vividly jealous or furious at Mor and Cassian’s friendship and I really liked that take.

Cassian’s silent jealously when Helion tries to flirt with Nesta and she dodged it LMAOOO

When Cassian kisses her in front of their family to help her get out of the map

Her silent bond with Az! That kept me going honestly. He was a sly bastard sometimes.

Sometimes I really questioned somethings, like those fast smut scenes but that’s just my preference.

Her marching down to Amren’s after she finds out they voted against her having the weapons she Made

Not to mention how she told Feyre about the baby and the labor risk out of anger, that really hurt both of them and me.

When she stayed silent during her punishment hike with Cassian. Each thought tore me apart.

When he warned her about falling and she was glad he didn’t see the expression on her face. How she didn’t mind if she fell down and how it would better.

When she cried after all those days of silence and finally told him how she felt underneath all that.

He softened up fast too and blamed himself for not realizing all this time why she hated the fire.

Can we talk about that dancing scene with Eris? And how Cassian was secretly exploding on the side as he remembered her mother wanted her to marry a Prince just like Eris.

WHEN ERIS ASKED RHYS WHAT HE WANTED IN EXCHANGE FOR NESTA TO BE HIS BRIDE AFTER LIKE A COUPLE DANCED LMAOO

The Solstice scene had my heart. The gift Az got Nesta and how she hugged him after he told her about it. How Cassian smiled at the sight.

HOW CASS GOT HER A LITTLE MUSIC BOX RECORDED WITH THE MUSIC FROM THE BALLROOM AND HOW HE ASKED THE MUSICIANS TO PERFORM IT FOR HIM AFTER EVERYONE LEFT SO HE COULD GET IT FOR HERRRR

They really kept shit away from each other till it exploded in an argument and that’s a reoccurring theme with this book couple.

WHAT MADE ME SO FRUSTRATED WAS HOW HE WANTED TO STAY IN HER BED AFTER SEX AND SHE WANTED TO CUDDLE BUT THEY DIDNT SAY ANYTHING AND ASSUMED THE OTHER DIDNT WANT IT

The topic of mates was RUSHED. Like I mean really rushed. First they argue, he says shackled and then the next time they get to speak (after the forced Blood Rite and labor scene) they accept it? I dont know, it didn’t sit with me.

I wish Nesta would elaborate on why she didn’t believe in Mates even more and Cassian would actually listen for once. Again, rushed.

The ending was fast paced in my opinion. We could’ve really had more to go off of, I needed more domestic Nessian.

ON THE TOPIC OF NESTA, GWYN, EMERIE

I am obsessed with Gwyn, Emerie and their friendship with Nesta.

I love how Gwyn and Nesta started, both gritting their teeth and still appreciating that aspect of each other.

How Nesta raced to help her with a book even when their first encounter wasn’t the friendliest.

Gwyn being persistent in paying back her small debt. I love her.

When Gwyn applied to defense lessons after Nesta defended them from the scholar priestess.

Emerie, my homegirl. I love her to death. The way she easily befriends Nesta, how Nesta stands up for her when her cousin comes to bother her.

I don’t know if it was just me, but Emerie and Mor might possibly be something. Either good friends or interested lovers.

THE WAY EMERIE BONDED OVER SMUTTY NOVELS WITH THE OTHER GIRLS AND LET THEM BORROW HER STUFFFFFF

Gwyn helping Nesta with her research on Valkyries. Muah.

Gwyn and Az, I feel like something might happen here and if it does, I do not want any Elriel drama getting dragged in, MY GIRL GWYN HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH OKAY

Gwyn thinking she doesn’t deserve the purity jewel the other priestesses wear and her backstory honestly just broke me. She endured so much.

Emerie and everything she lost. Her mother, her brother, her wings and any dreams she had of flying. How she distracts herself with work and gardening to keep that off her mind.

The way the girls all developed inside jokes, jokingly hanged up on Cassian at training and always had Nesta’s back.

The way they were dedicated to each other even during the Rite when they couldve let one another behind and won.

HER SISTERSSS I CRIED I WOULD DIE FOR THIS MF TRIOOOO

ON THE TOPIC OF THE INNER CIRCLE + THE ARCHERON PARENTS

Fey-ruh was pregoooo she and Rhys raw dogged it

I felt really really bad when no one fucking told her she would die because the baby had wings and she wasn’t fit to give birth like that. Like. What.

Can we talk about how they fucked when Feyre was in her Illyrian form and didn’t think the thing through?

Rhys, I can’t stand the guy. First he wants to make a bargain with his mate that they die together and then he wants to keep it from her that she can die when giving birth to their kid.

I think what pissed me off the most was when he was trying to help Cassian get Nesta out of a nightmare/power “episode” and had to experience what she did with the Cauldron and seeing Elain and Cassian hurt. He said he knew she was feeling something but seeing and feeling it yourself was different. Yeah, what else did you think smartass.

Rhys has a habit of keeping important shit secret, Amren is no better either. I think that’s what pissed me off the most. They sometimes kept the too important shit away.

As much as Nesta grew, so did Feyre. They both developed pretty good in my mind, I don’t hate her as much as I despise Rhys sometimes. All and all I love how she and Nesta ended up.

Amren....I get her point about Nesta using and abusing their friendship. At the same time, sometimes she was too harsh.

Elain, darling old cottage core aesthetic Elain. I found her to be a little insufferable sometimes. How she showed up unexpectedly at the Library to talk to Nesta and they got into an argument was funny to me since Nesta pulled out some stuff on her.

ELAIN THANKING NESTA AND SAYING FINALLY AFTER SHE TELLS HER TO “OH FUCK OFF” AT THE SOLSTICE PARTY WAS SO RANDOM

Elain and Lucien is some fucked up shit. I understand how she doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that they’re mates and all that but you can atleast thank the guy when he gives you a gift on Solstice.

I feel bad for Lucien because as sweet as Elain might show to be, she’s really hurting him and could just reject him if she really doesn’t want him.

AZ AZ AZ I LOVE HIM AND HIS SLY MOMENTS

Az when he cockblocks is the best thing. Do it more often.

Az and Nesta’s bond is something I want to see more, as well as how she literally thought about a threesome with him and Cassian.

Morriiiiigan. Everyone mentions her beauty and how she’s like the sun walking and I admire that. She wasn’t as annoying as I thought she’d be on the topic of Nesta and Cassian being an item.

She also wasn’t in the book as much which made sense since she was in Vallahan. I did like how she accepted Nessian towards the end.

The long awaited Mrs Archeron. Some of my theories about her proved true! About how she groomed her daughters into marriage ideologies at the worst age. 12 and 11? What the fuck?

The way she called Elain a pretty thing with no ambition at 11, no wonder Nesta and Elain have no proper knowledge of survival like Feyre did. She was set on making sure Nesta married someone who would treat her well, Elain married someone rich since her beauty was beyond all three of them.

Literally Mrs Archeron was not okay LMAOOO why are you telling your daughters this when they haven’t even bled yet damn CHILL

I felt bad since she didn’t care for Feyre and only their father doted on Elain and Feyre. Nesta was kept all to her mother to feed off Mrs Archeron’s narcissism.

Not to mention she died a year later

I found it funny Elain mentioned how at 15, Nesta even had their dad fearing her. Like it’s your daughter, wdym you fear her

The backstory on how Nesta treated him and how she feels now looking back. It was saddening and I unfortunately know the regret of not doing somethings. It must eat her alive.

I enjoyed reading this book, even if I wasn’t content with the ending. I tabbed a LOT of things so you’ll probably catch me editing and adding more to this in the morning. Thank you for reading all the way down here! 🤍

#nesta archeron #nessian #acosf spoilers #acofas #a court of silver flames #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #cassian #feyre archeron #elain archeron

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70swizards · 4 years ago

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marauders in a bakery

jamesiepoo:

would absolutely LOVE to work with dough

would make the biggest mess

tries to act like those italian chefs that spin the pizza dough, EVEN THO HES NOT MAKING PIZZA

refuses to clean after himself. what’s cleaning?

wears “kiss the cook” apron

“LILY YOU MUST RESPECT THE WORDS OF THE WISE APRON! now kiss the cook please”

gives you literal “helping his mum in the kitchen” vibes

listens to muggle music in the bakery and everyone is just so fed up bECAUSE HE HAS TO HAVE IT AT ITS HIGHEST VOLUME

initiates food fights

teaching baby hazza his recipes and lily walking in screaming, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING- DONT CORRUPT THE CHILD” even though she’s looking at him with so much fondness

early morning pancake surprises

breakfast in bed for whoever he’s living with

DANCES AROUND THE KITCHEN WITH THE DRAMATIC ASS MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND

edits recipes to make them so much better

glasses go all wonky and he’s got bits of food all over them after cooking

all the mess it worth it at the end bc the resukt is perfect

seerius blek:

his favourite part is dusting the pastries with powdered sugar

gets lily accidentally involved in food fights and ends up running for his life

“i’m the best cook!” *burns pasta water*

he uses box mixes for cakes and tells remus he made it from scratch, and after remus finds the box in the trash sirius just turns into a dog and goes “you wouldn’t hurt a poor innocent dog would you 🥺”

cries over james’ lava cake

COOKS WITH DOG FOOD

he does it as a prank and everyone else is just like wha t t h e f uc k is wrong with this man while he just eats the dog food happily

often gets banned from the bakery

HAIR IS ALWAYS TIED WITH HIS WAND AND THERE ARE THESE LITTLE STRANS THAT STAY OUT- he looks like a vogue model

leaves the dishes to “soak” so he can clean them later

never touches the dishes ever again

hazel said sirius loves jelly so sirius loves jelly and would force james into making it for him often

“IM NKT THE ONE MAKING A MESS HWRE- *YOURE* MAKINF A MESS OKAY”

“that’s NOT my hair in your food.”

sobs like a child when cutting onions

remmy the ratatouille:

“i’m literally not even a rat”

“I DONT CARE IF YOUT mEtHoD IS MORE FUN JAMES. THIS IS MORE EFFICIENT”

somehow makes the most food eith the least mess

it’s bc of this magical thing he does

it’s called cleaning after himself

“james i love you so much but get the fuck out i cant watch that, please i’m begging you”

*right after calling james out for being messy* *drops the bag of flour followed by fluent cursing*

“it seems to me that you’re the one making the mess rem”

usuallt says he doesn’t wanna help but when he sees someone doing something in a different way he’d go “can we please do it this way? like this- look” *does it himself, smiling*

was once reading before coming to the bakery so his glasses were up in his hair

while he was making cake batter, he looks down and the glasses just fall into the batter and he almsot cried because

“THIS IS THE FOURTH PAIR THIS MONTH IM GONNA FUCKING COMMIT A CRIME”

acts like he hates food fights but as soon as he gets hit- it’s over for everyone. to say the least, make sure you’ve booked a bed at the infirmary

will fucking throw you off the eiffel tower if you even think of tasting raw batter

ALWAYS. WASHING. HIS. HANDS.

never uses specific measurements

“i’ll just eye it”

mostly controls and monitors them

loves to make cinnamon rolls and sirius makes the icing

peter pan:

will knock everyhting down accidentally

pro taster, will immediately know what’s missing

bowl licker

he will eat everyhtunt thrown at him in a food fight BECAUSE DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOU HAVE ANYTHING ON ME? HA YOU BITCH IM FONNA DESTROY YOH

when cleaning after himself, he turns the tap onto the highest setting and just splashes himself and everyhtunt arounf him

A TOTAL CLUTZ

cooking is his love language

ABSOLUTELY ADORES TO MAKE LITTLE FINGER FOODS WITH THE TOOTHPICKS ON TOP

LOVES to work with puff pastry

will literally make up recipes from scratch in class and give them to james to try

GETS SUPER MESSY AND HIS APRON ENDS UP BEING SOAKED IN BATTER

he picks at everyhtunt he’s making so he’ll start off with enough to serve 12 and end up with enough to serve 8

who listens to serving proportions anyways

CO M B I N ES A L L R E C IP E S

cooks or bakes when he’s bored

coukd litwrallt start a business

gets his mums cooking notes to show the marauders

refuses to use magic when cooking

lily flower:

washes EVERYTHING

if you’re working with fish, eggs, meat, chicken, or anything of the sort, she should supervise bc she doesn’t want you to make a mess with them.

proceeds to spray clorox everywhere

CAKE DECORATING G O D D E S S

will carry baby hazza in one hand and cook with the other

“leave my child out of this james, HE DOES WHATEVER SEEMS FUN TO HIM AND JT DOES NOT MAKE IT THE NEW RIGHT WAY”

owns a bakery with a little library on the side

peter is the co-owner

she never lets james cook dinner bc she does not appreciate the mess he leaves behind

but always let’s him cook bc she knows he loves it

helps james clean the kitchen but ends up becoming a make-out session with her sitting on the countertop and james standing in front of her

hazel thought of orange juice so lily loves orange juice

makes harrys birthday cakes with james and lets baby hazza help in the tiniest ways

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ssvgawara · 4 years ago

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Haikyuu characters as things said in the hhcu

a/n: this is pure humor and just something fun, the hhcu is wild and says stupid shit more than once a day so i complied a ridiculously long list of quotes and put them together in this list to share with yall so please enjoy, read more because again this is so long also pt 2. some of these r pretty nsfw so uh yeah <3

Oikawa: When he gives up his torso 😍

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Nishinoya: Fisherman daddy

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Bokuto: I trust no condiments

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Osamu: YELLOW BAD OIKAWA IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY KITCHEN

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Tendou: Give ass in shiratorizawa?

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Atsumu: Garlic air freshener

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Nishinoya talking about his sex life: ITS THE GOOD OL FASHIONED POW POW GRUNT GRUNT WINDOW WASHER ULTIMATE FRISBEE DICK CONNECTOR

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Hinata: thank you!! also my oven melted??? and caught on fire 😰

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Yaku probably thinking abt kuroo while saying this: not gonna front im terrified of the live action grinch and if i ever see him its on sight

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Kageyama: Except that one mustard faze I had

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Lev after yaku kicks him yet again: NO INCH ACTIVE INCH VERY ACTIVE

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Suga after Kiyoko holds his hands: premarital eye contact is already a sin

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Iwaizumi realizing Oikawa probably wouldn’t know the difference between hawaiian rolls and milk bread: when he says hit it till it breaks, he means the packaging of hawaiin rolls

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All of Seijoh to Oikawa: You know whats really sexy? Self care.

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Hoshihumi: like a three year old. still baby but also evil at times🤡

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Oikawa right before his death: "MORNING HAJI!~" slaps tiddie

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Anyone falling on love with haikyuu boys: hey a good reverse harem never hurt anyone

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Idk who says it but terushima would do this: places his hand to my heart but then hes like heh heh boob squishy

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Tendou: centrepical force saved my bag of chocolate!!

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Lev thinking it was a literary masterpiece: *reads about a fourth of the bee movie*

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Hinata making fun of Kageyama: milk is better than the feeling of the ball touching your fingertips during a perfect set

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Hinata and Kageyama failing tests: thats just the dumbass in me babey!!!

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Atsumu simply trying to annoy Osamu: Are y’all meaning to tell me you DON’T take your raw chicken on walks through the city?

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Yahaba: PUSSY ALWAYS LEAVES

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Mattsun just to annoy everyone: yall ever think about how in the 50s and 60s they just put raw hotdogs or shrimp into jello and ate that shit and enjoyed it???

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Suga: i am now crying and my boyfriend is concerned and i can’t tell him that I’ve lost my husband and children

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Kenma; Smh my head

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Bokuto: Sorry not all of us can have double decker extra stuffed bottoms up extra large super sized t n a like me🥰🥰💅💅

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Everyone to bokuto: titty enthusiast ✨✨

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Me to kuroo: sorry babe youre a scorpio you dont have any rights anymore

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Tendou: i accidentally lit a baby on fire

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Atsumu: This feels real human centipede

Bokuto: theyre not ass to mouth

Atsumu: Close enough

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Bokuto when a minor inconvience happens: Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every day, I wake up....

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Sakusa: Remove your lips from my penis

Atsumu: I use a gluestick as chapstick i cant

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Goshiki: Arson or boot in my book, set fire to something live a little

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Tsukishima: I don’t like recieving pain. It hurts

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Kenma annoyed w kuroo: Put your dick in the fucking catfish’s pussy then

Kuroo being annoying: How deep is catfish pussy

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Makki to Mattsun: Ayo babe what if we fucked on the catfish tank

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Kiyoko tiredly, to Tanaka: I’m not putting salt and pepper on my pussy lips

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Saeko: I’ve got that Deep dish, super soaker, wet, succulent dripping honey suckle like sweet marinated mooseknuckle, extra thick, slip n slide, water park, waterbender, extra ribbed, the seven seas, gorilla grip, flex tape, primordial soup Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion pussy

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Atsumu not really knowing what cooch means: I got the body builder cooch

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Oikawa after not sleeping to train, extremely sleep deprived: youre got unending

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Goshiki; Commit arson

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Akaashi: I leave for 10 minutes and Bokuto is 240v (mouth edition) fuckmaster pro 4000 with semen drip collection tray, automated self-lubricating 6 speed pulsating pussy and built in Polycrystalline floatable silicon

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Oikawa; I’m coming to murk your ass xoxo

Iwa: I will literally shiv you bitch

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Kindaichi: ✨ bob duncan exterminates you asmr✨

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Makki: I’ll try to find my favorite about Jacob sartorius vampire babies with Hillary Clinton

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Kenma after playing some obscure video game: also i can’t sleep😔 too busy thinking about human sized bats

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ME fuck yall im carpetting my bathroom: you already put rugs in the bathroom might as well carpet that bitch

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Kuroo talking abt something sciency idk: LIKE A BODY WIG

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Seijoh when iwa throws balls at oikawa: spousal abuse right in front of my salad

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Hinata making up some new stupid song: Ants on a log ants on a log

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Atsumu to piss off Osamu once more: world f amous allegra chicken

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Semi: Gay little Ushijima’s left hand

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Bokuto: Are you disagreeing with the fact that I am thicc as phuck

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Kiyoko: Guys is it uh... is it possible to sprain a titty cause.... Uh....

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Terushima: He laughed at the end of his own joke what a fuckin chad

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Bokuto: IS THAT THE DOG FROM ZOOTOOIA

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Kageyama: milk is kinda like organ paint huh

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Nishinoya: i don’t think socks taste good

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Tendou: out of your mummy, into my tummy

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Hinata; shout out to me who thought chickens had four legs until last summer

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Oikawa Hanger: I WANNA HANG MY CLOTHES ON HIM

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Kenma: What a little pissbaby

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Yamaguchi: i am literally so curious about what it's like to kiss a boy that it's almost killing me

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Daichi about Suga: he may be cute, but istg there’s some kind of raging devil trapped in him

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Saeko: fuck society my titties are out

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Hinata after getting lecture by everyone for sneaking into the training camp: GOOD NEWS MY DAD IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN THE OVEN

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Just me thinking abt any first years: children. toddlers. Tikes.

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Me waiting for the fever: When is malaria?

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Uhhhhh probably tendou his vibes: Ill electrocute his cock

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Akaashi just go w it probably about bokuto: Why is he shoving cheese up the pussy

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Osamu tiredly: Ooey gooey cheesy chicken vagaina

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Nishinoya trying to catch a very large fish: Dom the Crab

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Bonus crabagraph: The crabs death reverberated and struck fear into the hearts of all crabs in existence because of this one 60+ year old mans volatile universe-crunching swing. Dude defied the laws of gravity by simply getting pinched by the crab. Man just reinvented the laws of physics and all of science due to the sheer force of will and untapped wellsprings if potential unleashed by the crab. If aliens show up it’s because the supersonic radio waves released by the banging of the crab against the cabinet are the first ever created in the universe. Man could cause a ripple in space-time with his crab launching abilities. Guy probably opened a gateway into another universe when he launched the crab. You see how the cabinet door opened and stayed open? It’s because this elder tore a hole through the fabric of reality to the Other Side simply because he experienced a minor bit of pain. The way he released a defeated roar of agony. The ancient gods awoke from their deep slumber and this old man single-handedly revived all his ancestors. New wars are about to start because of the way this man broke the barriers containing this reality into one fixed area. This universe is now expanding at such a rapid rate the the geosphere will now be reshaped. This man probably unknowingly blasted a hole in the other side of the planet because the shockwaves of the aggressive rippling effect of this poor crustacean slamming at lightning speed into a small wooden frame. The crabs insides were probably fused into the shell because this man’s angry, rage filled, pain filled battering ram of an arm throwing him through every known dimension and re-arriving in this one at the mere moment to experience the most pain a crab ever has or will in the rest of the existence of crabs. This elderly man probably has phased through and broken every human limiter known to man just because he got a minor pinch by a crab. He probably is bio-medically fused with crab DNA at this point. A legend.

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rantshemlock · 5 years ago

Photo

you heard it right folks, for the second year in a row i watched

Every Halloween Film

it took around 18 hours. there are eleven movies now after all. next year there will be twelve, and next year i will throw myself into the river thames if i make myself watch Rob Zombie’s Halloween II again.

this time i wrote it out as a journal. it is a mess. i will not edit it. if you read the entire thing you dont get a prize. im very, very tired. i watched eleven movies today. i like five of them.

9:27- I boot up Halloween (1978). I don’t know if this is the movie I’ve seen the most in my life, but I’ve certainly seen it dozens of times, and it never loses its impact. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m reading into micro-expressions on actors’ faces and I don’t know how much any of this was ever intended, but it certainly enhances my own reading of the film. I catch the expression of slight annoyance on Judith’s face when Michael walks into her room; it’s clear she had just no idea this was coming.

9:37- The staging of the opening of Halloween is so like a nightmare, a comparison I keep using this year for the movies I watch, but there’s a sense of being placed in the immediacy of what’s happening with no context and a burden of responsibility that only exists in dreams in the first few opening scenes. You don’t know where you are or what you’re supposed to be doing, but something huge and terrible is happening and the thick, dark shadows combined with the pale white-blue light the film uses makes everything emerge out of the black but never truly divorce itself from the darkness.

The way Loomis talks about Michael like some kind of animal is such a point of fixation for me. He calls Michael ‘it’ and wants ‘it’ to be locked up for life. Maybe it’s just being of a crazy persuasion myself but being the responsibility of a doctor who despises you and refers to you as an untreatable evil doesn’t feel like it would be much help to me. I just don’t think Loomis is a great doctor, is my point.

Laurie’s introduction is such a surge of light in a film that has up until now been shot almost exclusively in darkness. We are shown someone good, normal, happy, but the long, distant shots mean we are not accompanying her on this journey from her perspective; we are following her. Halloween legend suggests Michael doesn’t start stalking Laurie until she approaches the Myers’ house, but it feels like his eyes are lingering on her long before she does that. He casts a long shadow over her life before she even knows he exists.

9:42- The fact the film approaches the idea that it doesn’t make sense Michael would know how to drive a car but doesn’t explain it at all is weirdly funny. Just fuck it man, he can drive.

9:45: I really love the focus on Michael as a physical being. The fact we see him touch someone with his hands, open a car, steer while driving, run his hand over a fence… All of this adds a sense of Michael being tangible that I think is so vital. Michael Myers is a human being, not a demon, and that’s precisely why he is scary. Halloween as always meant to be a movie about the person next door; the fear comes from the fact that something inside your apparently nice, normal neighbourhood is rotten to the core. Laurie herself is incredibly on edge almost from the start; she knows something is wrong. She just hasn’t figured out what yet.

9:57- The gravekeeper’s insistence that something like this happens in every town is probably right on the money. It’s definitely what the film wants you to understand. The apparent nicety of your hometown doesn’t mean it’s free of violence, only that you’re trained not to notice it.

10:01- at exactly 0:33:16 Michael drives by in the background right behind Loomis without Loomis noticing, which is hysterically funny to me. I imagine Michael finds this incredibly funny too.

10:02- Laurie saying she’d “rather go to the dance with Ben Traimor” smacks of being a teenager and gay and saying the name of the first kid you know who’s nice to you because you guess that’s what having a crush is?

10:05- Loomis’ insistence at 0:37:12 that Michael killed and ate a dog raw is incredible to me. Also, I can’t say “Michael raw dog” to my friends without them screaming hysterically at me. They’re fuckers, and I hate them

10:07- From Loomis’ description, he met Michael when Michael was six, already condemned by the doctors as an incurable patient, and stopped treating Michael and turned to insisting he be locked up by the time Michael was fourteen. I think about this a lot.

10:13- “I’m not about to let anything happen to you.” I’m always very touched by Laurie’s immediate assertion of her position as a protector of children.

10:19- Lindsay caring literally only about watching horror movies is incredibly relatable. Truly a hero I can finally understand.

10:28- The house across the street, Lindsay’s house, is almost as haunting as the Myers house itself. It’s certainly a beautiful spectacle, the huge white building with its pillars and vast, blank windows, looming out of the darkness like a moon-lit tombstone. Laurie always seems so lonely when she watches it from the outside.

10:33- The head tilt after Michael pins Bob to the wall is so fucking iconic. It’s the first time it was done, I believe, and while it’s a cliché now it’s still chilling. The way Michael just studies Bob’s corpse, thoughts completely unable to be interpreted. The fact he turfs up in a ghost costume wearing Bob’s glasses moments later is so strange; there’s really no reason he would do that at all, other than the idea he finds it funny. There’s more showmanship to what Michael does than people recognise a lot of the time, I think. It’s like he really wants his work to be seen.

10:43- The shot of Annie on the bed under Judith’s tombstone has to be one of the most beautiful shots in the franchise. The perfect arrangement made just for Laurie to walk in on and experience in one precise way is so meticulous. Michael’s obsessiveness nature manifest in so many ways. The final showdown between Michael and Laurie is only around ten minutes long but it’s an incredible endurance test of a scene; the way Michael grows out of the shadows like he’s being formed within them is still beautiful and terrifying.

I think a really underrated part of this sequence that makes it so frightening is how Laurie is pointedly not alone; the neighbourhood she’s in is populated, and there are people around her. But when she runs to the neighbours for help, screaming and banging on the doors, they choose to ignore her. Seeing something they don’t like in their neighbourhood, they shut it out.

10:50- the closet scene is an incredible piece of filmmaking. There’s really never been anything before or since. I love art with a lot of lines and shadows and seeing the shadow of Michael moments before he breaks through the door is so haunting.

10:52- Laurie desperate and holding the knife in her hands is stunning. I love her.

10:54- I love the brief glimpse of seeing Michael’s face and how it stops him dead in his tracks. The fact he looks so painfully normal is so important too.

10:55- There’s a lot to be said about Loomis confirming Michael is ‘the Boogeyman’. I think Michael’s definite physical humanity in this movie is so important because it contrasts so strongly against the dehumanisation of him by the characters around him. We can only accept there’s a nightmare inside our neighbourhoods if we choose to believe it isn’t natural to it; that someone like that could not form there, but must have been artificially summoned, like a demon. Later movies and the remakes run with this idea; that Michael is somehow an outsider, but I think that defeats the entire point. Michael is part of this world just as much as Laurie is, whether we want to believe it or not.

10:57- I should be starting Halloween II but unfortunately, I have to go to the pharmacy. It might be Halloween, but prescription medications wait for no slasher villain.

11:13- I start watching Halloween II (1981). I like that this movie starts off with Mr Sandman. Horror movies having nursery rhymes in them now is another cliché, but this is such an interesting pick for Michael. I suppose it fits with him being the Boogeyman; he’s a creature of nightmares that slinks into our homes only through dreams. Allegedly.

I like the decision to pick this movie up right after the last one stopped, something that it looks like 2020’s Halloween Kills will be duplicating. It just makes a straightforward kind of sense.

11:21- The hysteria of Loomis screaming “I shot him six times!” over and over is sort of funny and sort of sick. There’s a slight traumatised, obsessive lunacy in Loomis the same as there is in Michael. I like the parallels between them. Loomis raised Michael more than Michael’s own parents did; it makes sense he’d have a lingering affect.

11:23- The shots from Michael’s perspective both in the first movie and this one are great. I love that we’re challenged to be inside his mind. We follow Michael a lot in this early opening. There’s an obvious strategy to his actions in this film, but the randomness of his kills are new. In the first movie, all the kills either get him something or revolve around Laurie. In this one, he kind of just does whatever, a theme that carries on for the rest of the movie.

11:24- A difference I don’t like so much in this movie is that the neighbours are so much more keyed into each other; they pay attention to the screaming and the strange noises, watch out for things that look out of place. I feel like it clashes with the first movie’s themes of isolation simply through your neighbours not caring what happens to you.

11:32- Ben Traimor getting hit by a cop car which crashes into a van and then explodes is one of the funniest fucking things that’s ever happened in this franchise. It is so completely fucking inexplicable and suddenly violent and pointless that it becomes hysterical, which is unfortunate given it’s meant to be a serious scene.

The breakdown scene that follows, where the Sheriff Brackett finds his daughter Annie is dead however is excellent. Charles Cyphers manages to carry the weight of the tragedy pretty effectively for a film that can veer into the goofy too easily, and Dr Loomis’ more measured delivery on his beliefs about Myers is Donald Pleasance at his best.

Halloween II isn’t any longer than Halloween, but the pacing is worse. It lets go of the original’s constant, haunting tension and delivers a sloppier movie as a result, too padded with side characters and people passing through the world with no consequence. The character of Brett is probably one of the most obnoxious characters in the franchise, which is saying a lot.

11:46- Laurie literally not knowing it was Michael Myers who was after her until she’s told is weirdly sad. Like of course she didn’t know, but it’s still sad. She feels very small and vulnerable in this movie, very lost in the big, empty hospital. The fact her parents are inexplicably missing and never shows up makes me crazy. I always wonder if there was a dropped plot thread where Michael was meant to have killed them, or something, because there’s really no explanation.

11:53- The musical stings in this movie are so odd. They’re too bleepy. Don’t know what the hell happened.

11:55- I take the laptop into the kitchen to make a sandwich while I watch the movie. It’s early for lunch but I don’t eat breakfast and I can actively feel my braincells hurting me.

12:01- I’m fascinated by the shots in this of the faint dream Laurie has of seeing a boy in the hospital when she was a child. I can never decide if these are real or not; if she’s unlocking some strange, contextless memory from childhood or just imagining it, instinctively feeling the connection between her and Michael without knowing the truth.

12:04- Bud’s off-screen death is so unsatisfying. Also, so continues the trend of Michael being mistaken for people’s boyfriends. Guess he’s just boyfriend material. Seems unbelievable to me she wouldn’t notice how dirty his hands are, though. And Jesus, the boiling her to death kill is really pretty brutal and graphic, after kills in the first few movies are so relatively restrained.

12:07- Michael writing SAMHAIN on the wall is so over the top. Yeah, I can believe he’s fucking 21 years old. Michael is a performance art student.

12:09- Laurie having Michael’s ability to go deadly still and silent is neat. I like them having links. They’re siblings after all. Runs in Myers family.

12:11- The needle into the side of the head kill is bizarre. Also, the head-tilt here feels cheap. I have already started stealing candy from the bowl intended for trick-or-treaters. In my defence, I could, and I wanted it.

12:20- I like that Laurie has an instinct to run, hide and defend herself. I don’t know if it’s the trauma of surviving or a prenatural sense that Michael is coming for her, but I like it. I don’t like that this entire movie is like twenty minutes longer than it needs to be, or how little Laurie is actually in it.

12:28- The reveal that Laurie is Michael’s sister is so great. It fits so well. I say bullshit to anyone who doesn’t like it. The repetition and obsessiveness of Michael’s behaviour, the strange links and parallels between Laurie and Michael. The fact that the two of them are just as much parts of Haddonfield as each other. It just feels right for them to be related. They are related.

12:31- Laurie crawling on the street begging for help as Loomis ignores her again – this man is truly useless.

12:33- Michael walking directly through a glass door is hysterical.

12:38- Laurie calling Michael’s name, stopping him for a second, blinding him with a shot… This last sequence is fantastic. There’s an enormous amount of pity in seeing Michael blindly stumbling around, swinging his knife, unable to see but still so desperate to kill. The fact she stops him by calling his name is great. The way it almost, for a second, perks some recognition inside him. I think a lot about Michael’s sense of identity. Who does he think he is? I guess we’re never going to find out.

12:43- Halloween III: Season of the Witch time. There’s a trend now of saying this is really the best Halloween movie. I can’t really argue with people’s personal takes, but there’s always a sense to that to me of denying the classic to favour the underdog. People love an underdog. But Halloween III definitely does kind of rule. As much conspiracy thriller as it is horror movie, Halloween III is deeply weird and creative, but packed with great performances and truly memorable special effects, with a killer soundtrack to boot.

1:11- Halloween III is so distinct feeling; it almost feels like a John Carpenter movie, but more like The Thing than Halloween. The film is less aesthetically distinct than Halloween; it takes place over days, in many locations, following the characters as they dig into the conspiracy behind the menacing Silver Shamrock company. It’s well-written and often pretty witty and builds an incredible sense of menace and strangeness. The little company town surrounding the Silver Shamrock factory is bizarre and frightening and although the film can be a little heavy-handed in its depiction of a surveillance state, it certainly builds up atmosphere.

1:20- The scene of the old drunk being taken out by the corporate men in black rules in how suddenly violent and horrible it is. We love a horror movie.

1:26- Some of the digital effects leave a little to be desired but god the practical effects are fucking incredible, and so goddamn memorable and horrible.

1:33- The over-the-top niceness of the Silver Shamrock owner is so pitch-perfect. He’s so nice that it’s obviously, blatantly menacing. What owner of a big corporation like this just gives shit away for free? I mean, come on. I really love the apparent legends that surround him, though, the reputation of being a genius and a great man.

1:48- The complete calmness with which the whole plan gets revealed is so good because you really sense how fucking little threat our heroes pose; no one here thinks they have a chance in hell of stopping Silver Shamrock. The plan in itself is absurd, but like, who cares. It’s fun. The fact Cochran is like, delighted to show off his big ideas because he’s so confident nothing will stop them. And in a way he’s right; at least partially, the heroes do ultimately fail.

2:00- the speech Cochran delivers about the power of Samhain rules. It’s so intense and menacing. Fucking great performance here.

2:07- As much as I like the ending, I think how much it drags on kind of kills some of the tension. Feels like it could have been cut back. The imagery at the very end is fantastic though; it’s so weird. The way this movie embraces strangeness is great; I’ll always take a film that tries to be something different and weird over anything that plays it safe.

2:20- Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. Jesus we’re starting down a dark path now. Halloween 4 is pretty thoroughly ‘ok’ and even has a couple of good moments but God. The decision to return to just being about Michael Myers after risking and flopping with an anthology movie is fine by me, but Halloween 4 plays it as safe as possible and lacks any of the flair or charm of the original. It just doesn’t have any style, and the forced drama falls short. Jamie Lee Curtis’ absence also feels like a sucking void in the film; it’s too painfully obvious that she was meant to be in this movie, and the fact she isn’t, the fact she died off-screen in some completely nondescript way is so depressing. The filmmakers assumed no one watching gave a shit about Laurie, and that’s so wrong and so disheartening.

2:25- the other doctors hating Loomis really adds to my reading of him as a man on the brink. He must be insufferable to know.

2:30- It really feels so painfully fucking unfair that Laurie would go through so much to just die in a random car accident. Or maybe there’s a kind of poetry in her dying without Michael’s involvement; just part of her own life.

2:36- Donald Pleasance is such a mensch. As stupid as these movies get, he never stopped bringing his fucking A-game and giving them as much respect and gravitas as he could. What a fucking legend.

2:41- Loomis seeing Michael in the diner is so fucking good. Loomis’ quiet pleading, asking Michael not to go back to Haddonfield but just take him instead, the quiet God damn you. Such a great moment. Would be better if Michael didn’t just suddenly teleport out of the room with no explanation, but you can’t have it all.

2:42- Why are later Halloween movies so fond of explosions.

2:43- The kids literally chanting ‘Jamie’s an orphan’ at her is incredible. Not in a good way.

2:50- I fetch the kitten to keep him on my lap because my house is colder than Michael Myers’ black heart.

2:55- Michael looking at Laurie’s photos… Ugh.

2:56- Why do people not just believe Loomis when he says Michael is back. We have this thread every week, comrade.

3:06- Michael just kinda standing around in the background doesn’t really do much in terms of fear. It’s just silly. And his mask looks ridiculous.

3:12- This film is a masterclass in failing to raise tension.

3:23- There’s an attempt to manufacture conflict by having the police clash with a group baying for mob justice, but it all feels completely inert. Nothing in the film carries any weight or drama, and the tension is all derived from using familiar music stings to try and kick your brain into recognising it’s an appropriate place to feel something.

3:25- The kitten bites me, drinks my water, and goes to sit in a box instead. I hate him. The kill where Michael stabs someone through the gut with a shotgun and pins them to the wall is the most flagrantly absurd thing I’ve ever seen. The fact she’s immediately found also really kills the tension. Also why is Michael so fucking strong. He’s so strong.

3:31- I can see the intention with the roof scene, but there’s too much unintentional comedy and Michael is so unthreatening that it doesn’t hold together at all. I especially hate how Michael will just suddenly appear out of nowhere; the first movie utilises his forming out of the shadows so well, but it doesn’t fucking work the same if he’s just there, in a formerly empty and well-lit corridor. He’s not being beamed in by a spaceship.

3:39- God this film is slow. Michael’s hands look absolutely terrifically fucked up. I wish Laurie was here.

3:41- It is insufferable how this film has like ten climaxes. Jamie running to inspect Michael really just doesn’t make any sense. I understand why the filmmakers did it, but it doesn’t make sense. They allude to some connection between the two, but it’s really underplayed and doesn’t pay out well when so much of the movie is her being flatly scared of him. They could have – and should have – acted more on the idea of her finding some sort of familiar connection between them. Famously, the movie ends with the idea Jamie might have somehow inherited Michael’s drive to murder, but the plot thread disappointingly gets dropped after this movie.

3:47- It’s time for Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. God, this movie is such a non-entity in the franchise. It doesn’t have 6’s turbulent history or 4’s dramatic ending. It just like, occurs. It occupies space and time. It tries to further the connection between Jamie and Michael, turning it into something psychic and supernatural, and begins to introduce elements of the Cult of Thorne before that takes over as the plot of 6, but none of it is interesting and I also hate the attempt to make Halloween a supernatural franchise.

4:04- The totally legal for sure stream I’m using starts fucking up so everything takes a break while I find somewhere else to watch it.

4:05- Contemplate if life is worth it.

4:06- Film returns. It’s not worth it.

4:27- If screaming at kids was always Dr Loomis’ brand of psychiatry no wonder he couldn’t help Michael.

4:30- You really need to put in more effort than this if you want to make someone being murdered in broad daylight scary. If you’re not putting in the kind of effort Midsommar does to sell the death, you aren’t gonna get there. Halloween as a franchise seems obnoxiously dedicated to doing shit in the middle of the fucking day, for something who built the power of the original scares so much off of the quiet and darkness of the shadows.

4:39- Imagine leaving a traumatised child alone because you want to get laid. Tina’s character is fucking absurd. There are far too much entirely interchangeable faces in this movie screaming incoherently.

4:57- The scene of Michael desperately trying to run Jamie over with a car while the camera swings around hysterically and then the car inexplicably exploding is like peak mid-sequel Halloween. It really exemplifies how much the franchise started relying on noise and flash instead of like, being scary.

5:02- Loomis begging Michael to ‘fight the rage that drives you’ and saying that killing will never drive the anger out is too little too late, ain’t it. I like the idea of an appeal to his emotions but there’s so little emotional weight to the rest of the movie that it fails to maintain a meaningful tone. All the moments where Jamie is communing with Michael are supposed to drive tension I guess, but it mostly is just very silly.

5:09- Every set in this movie look so much like a set. Considering the first movie was just shot in a house I don’t understand why they didn’t do the same. I like the prospect of Loomis trying to talk to Michael, to get through to him emotionally, but seeing Michael just standing there in the really goofy fucking mask they gave him this film is just ridiculous. Donald Pleasance can only do so much.

5:19- Again we return to the idea of getting through to Michael emotionally. Jamie calls him uncle and asks for him to take his mask off. He does, even. But there doesn’t feel like there’s any understanding of who Michael is; there’s no consistent psychology or examination, only the gut feeling that family has to be important. But we know how Michael feels about family, and it’s not tender. He speaks his own language.

5:21- Where the fuck did Loomis even get a giant chain net and tranquiliser drafts.

5:25- Sure why wouldn’t a guy with a machine gun show up and just start slaughtering everyone like who the fuck cares.

5:28- I take a break to gather my thoughts and feelings emotionally so I can handle watching Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.

5:32- I change the cat litter to avoid watching Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.

5:40- I start Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.

5:50- The woman calls into radio station and says she’s in love with Michael Myers is the only person in this film I respect.

5:51- The decision to bring back Tommy Doyle as a conspiracy theorist who’s obsessed with Michael is a great concept, which is why I’m glad Tommy Doyle is in Halloween Kills so I never have to say Halloween 6 makes a point again. Paul Rudd (yes, that Paul Rudd) is shockingly terrible in this movie, and also, I don’t like him as an actor, so nothing about this performance endears him to me. I have no fucking idea what they directed him to do. It is miserable.

6:01- I am straight up not having a good time bro.

6:03- This is the only Halloween movie in a long time to actually try and show off its location; Halloween 5 could be set literally anywhere and is unfollowable, but Halloween 6 at least attempts to ground the movie in Haddonfield and show that this is a normal neighbourhood. Unfortunately, this movie takes place in nonsense magic doo-doo land so any attempt to ground us in anything is a waste of fucking time.

6:13- There’s a lot of reasons I don’t like this movie; I think the additions of mythology are absurd and go against the themes of the original, the conclusion is dumb as hell, the story is boring. It isn’t scary and it isn’t well-shot or well-written. But on a more abstract level, I hate its schlock, cheap understanding of what obsession and trauma does to someone. I fucking loathe that it uses rape as a shock tactic and how much abuse it puts its female characters through for no catharsis.

6:50- This curry I’m eating sucks ass. I want that on the record.

7:22- Jesus fucking Christ it’s finally time for Halloween H20: 20 Years Later. I love this movie. I love it for the ambition it had. It might not be a as fully realised examination of trauma after time as Halloween (2018) is, but I admire it for its vision. It doesn’t try to mimic the style of the first film, and I guess there’s a certain loss in aesthetic as it’s more akin to Scream or other fairly uniform 90s slasher movies in appearance, but it’s a far more confident movie than the other middling Halloween sequels. It has a clear understanding of what it wants the movie to be and is genuinely tense and thrilling because of that, as well as more readily grounded in reality. It has a genuine respect for the original that others fail to and tries to build an original film that follows it in a meaningful sense.

7:56- Laurie is really condemned to be around people who don’t listen to her but as much of a horrible little punk shit her son is, narratives about inherited or family trauma make me go insane, so this all affects me still.

8:01- I like the discussion of fate in Frankenstein as parallel to the discussion of fate in the first movie. It’s silly, but I like it, and that’s on me.

8:07- One of the smartest moves this film makes is using its own score. A lot of the middling sequels just lift from the original without any care, but H20 puts in some effort into building up some actual atmosphere.

8:13- I like that Laurie is a mess but still holding it together. She’s jumpy and always watching, with a bottle of alcohol a little too close beside her. It’s not exactly the most monumental depiction of lifelong trauma, but the film makes an effort. I love its effort. I love Jamie Lee Curtis as well.

8:26- This film brings back a theatricality to the presentations of Michael’s victims that I feel the movies sorely lack. If it doesn’t look like an art project why bother? I was going to say I wish there was more development of the relationship with Michael and his nephew, but I don’t. I want more Laurie. Love Laurie.

8:28- Michael’s not good with keys. I love the fact that his hands and eyes are so clear, though. It brings back that kind of essential physicality he had in the original. Him making contact with Laurie, the shot of the two of them through the glass looking at each other is so fucking good.

8:34- Laurie standing in the drive with a fucking axe screaming Michael’s name as the Halloween them kicks in fucking rules so goddamn hard. The final fight scene between these two is an all-time great.

8:39- Laurie pulling a gun on a cop so she can kidnap the coroner’s van so she can make sure Michael is actually dead is fucking incredible. She’s the best person who’s ever been written. The final conclusion of the film, with Michael reaching out to her when he’s pinned down, and it’s unclear if he’s asking for help or trying to reach out to hurt her one last time but his eyes are filled with desperation is one of the best moments in any of the films, and the power of Laurie just delivering the killing blow makes it even better. The fact they both get to be so vulnerable and so human and have a moment, just a moment, where their hands touch for any reason other than violence is so fucking strong. I love this fucking movie.

8:45- Halloween: Resurrection. Because after just seeing Laurie fight for her life and get out alive, triumphing over Michael once and for all, obviously what we want is to have the whole thing turn out to be bullshit and a fake out and for Laurie to die in the first five minutes of this film? Fuck this movie man. Like fuck this movie.

8:59- as bad and stupid and shallow as this movie is, the slight manipulation Michael performs is pretty great, and Laurie’s line “Are you afraid of me?” is an all-time great. This film doesn’t earn Laurie’s death, though, and it doesn’t deserve Jamie Lee Curtis. I’m not even totally against the idea of finding out what Michael would do if all his family was dead, but this movie’s option of ‘be in a reality show being filmed in his house’ is probably the answer I never, ever, ever wanted.

9:03- I have given up.

9:25- People make a big deal out of the ending scene where Busta Rhymes electrocutes Michael Myers in the nuts but it is really the only moment of levity in what is otherwise the most boring experience anyone can have.

10:00- I am eating leftover candy and contemplating my life.

10:17- I boot up Halloween (2007). I have accepted death.

10:19- Yeah, what Halloween was really lacking was a guy yelling “I should crawl over there and skullfuck the shit outta you!” before hitting on his teenage stepdaughter. The level of overt grossness and extremity that Robert Zombert brings to this franchise is so fucking putrid and unnecessary. All he brings to this franchise is insane amounts of unbridled misogyny and pop psychology. I said the same thing last year and I’ll happily say it again; this movie’s idea of what makes a serial killer is like something from a daytime TV movie. I’m sure it was intended to be edgy, but the demonization of the working class and sex workers and the position of Michael as the lower-class outsider to the nice suburbs is the most conformist class politics in existence. Halloween (1978)’s depiction of a serial killer who was a part of and came from inside the nice, safe, upper middle-class suburb will always be a far, far more revolutionary statement than this.

10:44- I don’t believe this really gives Michael ‘more backstory’ since it basically just re-treads what the first movie did, but it sure does it worse. The film just takes an incredible amount of time to say ultimately nothing at all. What really gets me is that this does really destroy the Michael is the big bad boogeyman myth simply because the childhood it gives Michael doesn’t fit with who he is. The change just feels forced. The suddenness of his violence feels forced. There doesn’t seem to be any observation here other than it would be scary if a nice kid was actually murderer.

10:56- Why does Michael’s mother own a huge projector. The melodrama of her killing herself is so absurd.

11:03- Michael Myers gets called the F-slur so many times in this movie that I’m officially adopting him as part of the LGBT community.

11:12- people criticise the original for not having the most natural of dialogue for its teenage girl characters, but the teenagers in this film are so incredibly obnoxious that it’s borderline unbearable to watch. Their dialogue is unnatural too, because it’s the kind of shit a weird old man really, desperately wants teenage girls to say.

11:23- There isn’t a scene in this that doesn’t drag on for too long in a completely unfunny, charmless way. It’s also insanely aggravating how Zombie is incapable of holding the camera still for longer than a couple of seconds at a time, and why everyone in the movie always has to be twenty feet away at all times.

11:25- This movie is just the first movie but longer with people screaming fuck constantly and added rape scenes. It is so insanely fucking worthless it really defies description.

11:28- I could be hanging out with my friends but I’m watching a bad movie. Contemplating life again.

11:45- I wish Robert Zombert wasn’t so horny.

11:51- I like truly never want to hear screaming again. There’s so much noise in this movie all the time. There isn’t a fucking second of silence in this film that couldn’t be filled with someone screaming hysterically or shit breaking. There isn’t a moment where the camera holds still and lets us take in the information in the frame without wobbling deliriously or swinging around like it’s on a fucking office chair.

12:10- I wonder if I can go see Doctor Sleep tomorrow. It’s technically not Halloween anymore, but if I manage to watch all these films within twenty-four hours I think it still counts.

12:13- We’re on Halloween II (2009). I like that this movie opens up with an explanation of what the symbolism of the white horse represents, in case you’re too stupid to figure it out for yourself. I like that the flashback is also completely drained of colour, in case you’re too stupid to figure out that it’s a flashback, even after it had a title card explaining it was. Just in case you thought Michael turned into a kid again, or something.

12:17- Glad we’re back to the constant screaming and camera swirling, just in case you thought for a brief second you’d have a moment of fucking peace.

12:21- I joked about the absurdity of Ben Traimor in Halloween II (1982) getting hit by a van and then exploding but it really doesn’t match up to the pointless fucking spectacle of violence that occurs roughly every ten seconds in Halloween II (2009). There’s no reason whatsoever to have the coroner’s van full of rapists crash into a cow and have the most incredibly bloody crash scene ever while one of them screams fuck over and over, but it happens. It isn’t scary, funny, or interesting, but it sure happens. That just about sums up this movie. Loud, bloody, and gratuitous, but not, y’know, interesting.

12:39- What an exploitative ‘I think crazy chicks are hot’ vision of trauma this is.

12:48- The idea of Loomis cashing in on his fame and becoming a celebrity psychologist is a good idea, but in classic Rob Zombie way, it’s done in the least interesting way possible.

1:04- What the fuck is happening.

1:13- it is like fucking incredible how boring this movie is. None of these scenes have any purpose. It’s just stuff, it’s stuff to put on film, with no larger thesis or point. I don’t fully understand why anyone bothered making this movie.

1:29- Great, a party sequence. That’s what this film really needed. More pointless noise and scenes that go nowhere. It was way too quiet and plot-heavy until now.

1:31- Does Mr Zombie know he can just make music videos. Like wouldn’t it be easier.

1:55- The ending scene in this movie is so incredibly incoherent and unwatchable. The bringing of the strange psychic ghosts that haunt Michael and Laurie and making them real, physical presences only makes the film more incoherent. It’s all jerky, wild camera movements, strobe lighting and screaming from here on out. Michael is such a non-entity in this film. He’s in at least half the movie, but he’s not himself. He’s just like a big guy with a beard and one line.

1:59- The slo-mo is so unnecessary. Like you fucking had to make this movie even longer? For who? For what?

2:00- I wish we were all dead.

2:01- I think I’ve seen Blade Runner 2049, a movie I deeply love and cherish, less times than I’ve seen Rob Zombie’s Halloween II.

2:02- Feel depressed about this.

2:03- If I ever hear Love Hurts again, I’ll kill myself.

2:04- Spent two minutes in silent contemplation.

2:06- It’s finally time for Halloween (2018). It’s hard to understate how much respect I have for this movie. Like I said earlier, I admire H20 a lot for its attempt to be a reaction to Laurie’s trauma and grief, but it does not manage to pull this off with anywhere near as much grace and effectiveness as Halloween (2018). And on top of that, the film is stunningly shot, the only film on par with the original in terms of how beautiful and memorable the cinematography is.

2:10- The distance from which we see Michael initially is so great; there’s so much restraint. He’s unmasked for a good portion of the early movie, but the film holds back in a way that makes his face completely unreadable and instead focuses on people’s reactions to and fear of him. It gives a sense that he’s almost too frightening to be fully captured on film. We can never really understand the legend of Michael, the same way people who don’t see him ‘in the wild’ can’t; we can only see him through legends.

2:14- The soundtrack in this movie is a fucking incredible beast. John Carpenter is God, frankly.

2:17- I adore Laurie’s portrayal in this movie. She’s so cold and defensive towards people who don’t believe or respect her, but there’s a painful, raw vulnerability to her as well. She’s traumatised person who has run the gamut of people refusing to understand or respect her trauma or the worldview she’s developed. There’s such a profound mixture of power and pain, a sense of immense dignity to her. She’s sick to death of the lack of respect and cruelty she’s faced. I just love how much emotion was put into her performance, how much the filmmakers really cared about making her a fully realised expression of trauma and the way people react.

2:24- Dave blowing up a pumpkin with a firecracker is the most accurately teenage thing that’s ever happened in these movies.

2:25- Laurie standing on the sidewalk outside the school in a mirror of how Michael did rules. The callbacks in this movie are always so underplayed that they feel like they take actual meaning, rather than just being a case of demanding fans look at something cool they recognise.

2:31- I am deliriously sleepy. Laurie’s breakdown at family dinner is so painful. She carries so much grief; she is, in her eyes, the only one who does and who may ever know the truth, surrounded by people who can’t understand her because trying to put themselves in her world hurts them too much. I think Laurie’s daughter’s description of what it was like growing up in a survivalist environment filled with anxiety and paranoia is so key; it was traumatising for her to grow up in a trauma-based environment. I hope she gets more time in the next movie.

2:43- This is the third movie in the franchise where Michael kills people in a public toilet, but definitely the best time it’s been done. Michael throwing teeth at the journalist writing about him is something that is so insane that it’s now burned itself directly into my brain and I am incapable of not tweeting ‘i wish michael myers would throw teeth on me’ at least once every three weeks.

2:46- The gravity that’s given to Michael putting the mask on is mesmerising. Again, I love the physicality of his hands and motions; this movie doesn’t forget he’s a real, physical person.

2:52- I’m obsessed with Michael’s decision not to kill the baby. He’s on a random murder spree, killing anyone who he sees without any particular cause, but he passes right by the baby. Looks at it, and then chooses not to. He made an actual choice not to. I always wonder what was going through his mind at the time.

2:59- Alyson’s costume was a really great way to have her end up with the same silhouette as Laurie in the first movie without having her just straight up dress like her grandma. Nice touches.

3:01- “You are so getting dry-fucked tonight” is probably one of the most wretched lines of dialogue in this franchise.

3:09- Laurie hunting for Michael is so good. She’s so fucking ruthless in this movie; she’s afraid but she’s fucking tuned in completely to her revenge hunger.

3:13- Sartain is a character I really love. The set-up is obviously that he’s Loomis 2, Laurie even refers to him as “the new Loomis”, and he reflects and subverts this in interesting ways. I like that he calls Michael “property of the state”; it’s his own way of dehumanising Michael. To him, Michael is an asset, something to be poked and prodded and studied. But of course, unlike Loomis, his obsessive interest in Michael is far more appreciative.

3:16- This film’s ability to just use silence is so good.

3:17- The first time Alyson sees Michael is incredible. The musical sting. Fuck me. God, I love this movie. And God I love this fucking soundtrack.

3:22- The twist of Sartain turning and killing the cop, protecting Michael and trying to seek out what it feels like to kill is great. Also, the way he stroked Michael’s face? I hate to break it to you, but if you don’t think they were fucking? Grow up.

3:30- I love the drama of Michael’s corpse arrangements. Back to the good old art student days, I see. He’s having a midlife crisis. Every time Laurie and Michael see each other is so fucking powerful. The connection between the two of them is so vibrant. And her shooting half his hand off? Iconic. Really excited to see how the makeup department carries that on next film.

3:39- The final showdown sequence is incredible. Laurie and Michael nearly being on equal terms sounds like it should make it boring, if she can match him hit for hit, but the film never drops a level in tension. It manages to be surprising not just for us but also for Michael, who obviously wasn’t expecting to be on the back foot with Laurie, which only makes the scene more intense.

3:42- WHY IS HE SO STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:43- The performance of Karen screaming she needs help and she can’t do it only to shoot Michael point blank and then have Laurie emerge out of the shadows the way she does is one of the best fucking moments in cinema. The three women working together to defeat Michael and kill him where he stands, absolutely kicking the shit out of him and then setting him alight is fucking incredible. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen such a triumphant fucking ending in anything. The Strode women’s win feels like such an incredible fucking win. I have no fucking idea how Halloween Kills is going to follow this up.

3:46- I love this movie. The house burning down with Michael inside it is so striking. The way fire is shot is so powerful, and the ending shot of the Strodes? With Alyson holding the knife? A perfect movie.

3:47- I have died.

#rantsfilmwatch #my writing #halloween

26 notes · View notes

chimcharstar · 5 years ago

Note

Questions 1, 2, skip a few, 99 100! ANSWER THEM ALL!!!!!!

LETS DO THIS

99 gay-ish asks

how tall are you?5 SOMETHING

what is your body type?SLENDERMAN

what is your favorite part about your body?THE T

is your current hair color your natural hair color?YES

are you more outgoing or more shy?SHY

are you more femme or butch?ITS COMPLICATED, BUT, BUTCH

are you tol or smol?APPARENTLY IM TWINK. NOT SURE WHERE THAT IS ON THIS SCALE

wine mom or vodka aunt?NO

weird habit?I EAT BREAKFAST FOOD AT ANY HOUR

favorite meme?VIBE CHECK, IM SMUG ABOUT MY URL

do you sing in the shower?NO BUT I USED TO. JUST SHY ABOUT ROOMMATES. I DO IN MY CAR

ever used a bow and arrow?NO, BUT MY BROTHER DESIGNED AND BUILT ONE, GOT IN TROUBLE FOR MAKING A WEAPON

are/were you a theatre kid?IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE IM ALLOWED TO HAVE AN EGO, YES

have you ever seen a broadway musical?NO

do you think musicals are cheesy?NO I THINK THEYRE JUST A MEDIUM OF ART

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?NO WEIRDLY

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?IDK THEM

last movie you watched?PROBABLY MEGEAMIND

behind the camera or in front of it?BEHIND. BUT BOTH IS GOOD

favorite tv show?AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER

meaning behind your urlTHE ACTUAL REASON IS IT REMINDS ME I CAN TRUST MY INTUITION

reason you joined tumblrA CRUSH WROTE IN MY YEARBOOK I SHOULD GET IT. DONT WRITE THAT IN PEOPLES YEARBOOKS

who’s your closest tumblr friend?THE PERSON ASKING ME 99 QUESTIONS

what’s something most people love that you hate?TACOS AT WORK. THEYRE POPULAR OF COURSE. I MAY NOT KNOW MY TACOS, BUT PLAIN RAW CABBAGE ON THEM MAKES ME DOUBT

have you ever taken narcotics?NO

have you had sex?NO

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?I DONT GET CAUGHT!!!! IM SO SNEAKY… AND TRAUMATIZED. I ONLY GOT CAUGHT WHEN PEOPLE WERE LIKE, HUNTING ME. NOT FAIR. ALSO HOW DO YOU “GET CAUGHT” FOR DOING NORMAL THINGS LIKE READING AND HAVING CLOTHES

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?PROBABLY THE REASSURING CHRISTIAN VALUES THINGS I TOLD MY PARENTS TO GET MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST BECAUSE FOR SOMEONE INCONVENIENTLY TRUTHFUL, THAT WAS SOME PRETTY HARDCORE LYING IN A RIDICULOUS SITUATION, AND THE WORST BECAUSE WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO HAVE TO DO. IT WAS HORRIBLE BECAUSE I WAS SO CONVINCING BECAUSE I MIXED IT WITH THE TRUTH I COULD SINCERELY EXPRESS

describe your passion without mentioning it.HEY GUYS IM WRITING CHAPTER 1 AGAIN I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT THIS TIME

describe your best friend.WARM STRONG RESILIENT UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING KINDLY HONEST CREATIVE TALENTED BRAVE HARDWORKING BEAUTIFUL ORIGINAL NURTURING SELF CONFIDENT

give us one thing about you that no one knows.NO ONE KNOWS THE GRITTY DETAILS OF SOME SAD MOMENTS IN MY PAST. DID YOU KNOW I HATE THE SMELL OF HOSPITAL FOOD FROM WHEN I VISITED A FAMILY MEMBER IN A PSYCH WARD

how do you feel right now?GOOD, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO TO BED THOUGH

what is your biggest fear?BREAKING SELF HARM STREAK

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?SING A SONG EARTH WIND AND FIRE

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?LEAVING MY PARENTS. ITS TAKEN ME AGES TO UNLEARN SO MUCH SELF-DEFEATING STUFF

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?MOSTLY EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE BUT IM CHILL

something you fantasize about.ACTUALLY DANCING TO MUSIC I LIKE. I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO DANCE BUT I WANT TO SFM

last time you cried and whyTHAT PREACHER GUY IN LUCIFER. IT SUCKED BUT IM SO BLOWN AWAY BY LUCIFERS ANGRY YELLING AT THE SKY. WHAT A GIANT MOOD

what was the last thing that made you laugh?MY SISTER ASKING ME WHAT DILF MEANT

do you really, truly miss someone right now?NO. IF I MISS SOMEONE, ITS A SIGN THEY WERE A BAG OF DICKS TO ME AND MESSED UP MY INNER CLARITY

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?YOU

the last time you felt broken?WHEN MY TWO FRIENDS AT THE TIME GANGED UP ON ME AND ABANDONED ME AT A NOT PRETTY TIME IN MY LIFE. I COULDNT EAT WHICH AND I STILL STRUGGLE WITH EATING, I NEVER USED TO

are you starting to realize anything?THAT IF I RELY ON MY LIFE EXPERIENCE, ILL EXPECT TO FAIL AND SABOTAGE MYSELF, AND INSTEAD I NEED TO TAKE RISKS AND PUT FAITH IN MY FUTURE.

are you more dominant or more submissive?THERES EVIDENCE FOR BOTH, BUT I THINK THE LATTER IS JUST FROM ABUSE AND GIRL RULES

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)WASH YOUR HANDS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?AROUND MY AGE THERE IS SOME UNDERSTANDING

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.IM NOT IN LOVE I DONT EVEN HAVE A CRUSH. I MAY HAVE A SQUISH

do you have any kinks?MAYBE SO

first thing you notice in a person?HOW THEY HANDLE STRESS AND PROBLEMS, IF THEY BLAME/GET ANGRY, OR IF THEY ARE COMPASSIONATE AND PATIENT. LOOKING FOR RED FLAGS

how can someone win your heart?FOOD. CHEESECAKE WAS A POWER MOVE. BONDING… OVER FOOD. I HAVE HAPPY MEMORIES ATTACHED TO BEVERAGES.

been rejected by a crush?YES

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?YES

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?NO

is trust a big issue for you?YES

did you hang out with the person you like recently?NO

is confidence cute?YES, SELF LOVE LOOKS GOOD ON PEOPLE

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?GOOD FOR THEM. I DONT LIKE ANYONE RIGHT NOW

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?NO. GIGGLING LIKE A LUNATIC IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE AND YOU NEED TO KEEP UP

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?IF THEYRE FEELINGS, PROBABLY, BECAUSE IM TRANSPARENT

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?IVE HAD MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED FOR MY FTM TRANSITION

do you want to get marriedYEAH WHEN IM FIFTY THEN ILL GET A BUNCH OF DOGS AND CATS AND CHICKENS

worst thing you’ve ever done?APPARENTLY IVE BORROWED BOOKS AND NEVER RETURNED THEM

three things that turn you on.IM GOING THRU PUBERTY 2, TEENAGE BOY EDITION, IT DOESNT TAKE MUCH

who do you hate?I DONT LIKE SUCH SIMPLE CATEGORIES, BUT I START TO FEEL HATRED WITH REPEATED CRUELTY/WHEN SOMEONE REFUSES TO HEAR ME

favorite term of endearment?MY FRIEND

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?I DIDNT REALLY HAVE TVS/POP CULTURE GROWING UP LIKE MOST PEOPLE, PROBABLY FOUND IT IN CREATIVE WRITING

intimidating girls or kind girls?KIND

what do you look for in a possible partner?EQUALITY

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?YES

are you good at flirting?PERHAPS. WHEN IM NOT THINKING ABOUT IT

who was the first person you came out to?I DONT ACTUALLY REMEMBER. A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND. IT WAS A STRESSFUL COMPLICATED TIME, MY WORLD WAS UPSIDE DOWN, IT WAS GRADUAL

do you have any friends who are wlw?PROBABLY

is your crush wlw?IDK

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?A DOUCHE CANOE UNFORTUNATELY

write a short love poem to your crush/self?DEAR PERSON,THANK YOU FOR THE CHEESECAKEIT WAS SO GOODBUT ONLY BECAUSE IT WAS FROM YOU

do you fall in love easily?NO. I WISH I DID. I COULD USE THE HIGH TO GET STUFF DONE

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?I HATE TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL HUMILIATED AND ASHAMED, SO I JUST DONT. I ALSO HATE TALKING ABOUT SELF HARM BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW HOW. AM I GOING TO TRIGGER PEOPLE? AND IT IS SHROUDED IN SHAME AND FEAR.

are you good at hiding your feelings?YES, WHEN I CONSCIOUSLY MAKE AN EFFORT TO

are you a forgiving person?NO. I USED TO BE ALL ABOUT FORGIVENESS, AND GREW UP FORGIVING ABUSIVE CYCLES, IT WAS SO UNHEALTHY. NOW I FEEL LIKE A CROW HOLDING GRUDGES FOR CENTURIES, AND I DONT WANT TO BE BITTER EITHER – I OFTEN FEEL BAD FOR NOT FORGIVING, EVEN IF ITS JUST FORGIVENESS FOR MY OWN SAKE. BUT ITS A NEW DEVELOPMENT THAT IM ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEEL ANGRY, BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT BEING WRONGED, WANT JUSTICE FOR MYSELF. AND MAYBE SOME THINGS SHOULDNT BE FORGIVEN.

what is your “type?”I DONT KNOW. I RECENTLY STARTED GROWING SOME SELF WORTH, AND I DONT THINK THE PEOPLE IVE SOUGHT OUT TO RELIVE MY PAIN COUNTS

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?LAST ONE

tall girls or short girls?BOTH IS GOOD

hugs or kisses?HUGS

twirl her around or get twirled?I WANNA TWIRL PEOPLE

tummy kisses or thigh kisses?BOTH

hairline kisses or neck kisses?NECK

play with her hair or stroke her tummy?PLAYING WITH HAIR

making out or soft kisses?MAKING OUT

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?WAIST

how confident are you in your sexuality?I THINK PEOPLE WOULD ASSUME IM NOT. IM SHY, AND MY NERDY CHRISTIAN VIBE ISNT GOING ANYWHERE. IM ALSO JUST BEGINNING TO LIVE AS MYSELF AND IM RELEARNING EVERYTHING. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO REALLY KNOWING MYSELF IM CONFIDENT

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?NO. I WILL START CRANKING OUT ART AND FOCUS LESS THAN USUAL

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?YES

how old were you when you realized you were into girls?20ISH BUT THE SIGNS WERE THERE LONG BEFORE

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?I GOT MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED REMEMBER

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?I DONT KNOW MANY BUT IM HAPPY FOR THE CANON MARCELINE AND BUBBLEGUM

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?MY SISTER PROJECTING ABOUT HER LIFE. WE HAVE CONSERVATIVE MISOGYNIST PARENTS BUT WE ARE VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND IT DID NOT AFFECT US IN THE SAME WAY

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?I FEEL LIKE IM FORGETTING SOMETHING NICE A STRANGER SAID ONCE

what is love to you?NOT SOMETHING YOU DISPENSE AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. ITS A WAY OF LIVING – IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF, YOU LOVE OTHER PEOPLE, AND YOU LOVE THE WORLD AROUND YOU AND TAKE CARE OF IT. ITS NEITHER FAWNING NOR CONTROL – ITS ACCEPTANCE

ask me anything.YOU DIDNT ASK ME ANYTHING SO IM JUST GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. IVE BEEN EATING POPCORN CHICKEN WITH HONEY

#zee5tarbug #asks #chatty tag #I DID IT

4 notes · View notes

ohlukcs · 5 years ago

Text

– task 001 : ooc survey

YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — sam !

AGE — 22

TIMEZONE — aest babey

PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her

MBTI — um i have no freakin idea except definitely introvert, i would do the test but i woke up like ten minutes ago so i am no functional enough for that rn lmao

HP HOUSE — now listen i wanted to be a ravenclaw when i was 11 so i believe i have to stick to that, based on my values and who i think i am now i think it’d be more hufflepuff but 11 yr old me wanted to be the smartest bitch around so im a ravenclaw

ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — i used to be, i graduated last year i studied film and television

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — ya! it was a lot of fun and i got to make a lot of cool stuff ! made a film that won best student horror at toronto short film festival so that was really fucking exciting

LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im @spookyrps and on weheartit and pinterest

DISCORD USER — im scared of bots so not gonna put the whole thing but im skelesam in the chat

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — horror, thriller, anything crazy and ridiculous and fun. starting to like comedies a lot now too but it really depends on how its made

TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — oh boi um booksmart, the martian, whiplash, god help the girl, and the scooby doo movie. theres a million others i could put there but im just gonna go with the first five that came to mind or else i’ll be here all day (special shoutouts: bad times at the el royale, hereditary & midsommar, the new it movies, jennifer’s body, clue, the barkley marathons, harry potter series, se7en, and the saw franchise)

A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — the night circus by erin morgenstern

A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — the room lmao

WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — aquarius babey

ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? — i dont like follow it but i do like to read up on them and use the signs to help build my characters (eg. lukas is a scorpio and drea is an aquarius too)

WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — almost exclusively tumblr but i was in a forum rp back in like 2009 or something lmao

WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — i do a lot of stuff based around film making, like everything from script writing/reading, production design, filming, editing, thats what i love to do. and i wanna be a gamer but i have a shit computer and very limited hand eye coordination lmaoo

HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! — ya ! i have a black cat named zelda who is admittedly a lil .... thicc. i love her so much and she barely tolerates me. she grooms me and my roommate bc i think she thinks she’s our mom and like she is tbh

IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — search party, its so fucking good and funny and crazy and i love it. if u like zany comedies with a lil mystery, its really fun. big broad city vibes

ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — um i dont think so, i think i’m very predictable in my media consumption lmao

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — bro its been so long since i finished a book, i think it was the miseducation of cameron post by emily m danforth. idk if i would recommend it, i think it depends what ur after from a book bc this was VERY DEPRESSING and threw my little bi ass through the ringer lol

CURRENTLY READING? — jonathon van ness’ autobiography over the top: a raw journey to self love (im rlly enjoying it so far)

LAST FILM? REC IT? — not technically a film but i watched unnatural selection on netflix last night and it fucked me up and i need everyone else to watch it so i can talk about it

THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — gattaca bc of the unnatural selection viewing lmao, the cat and the moon to support my boi alex wolff, and knives out bc it looks so fucking good i wanna see it so bad

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — harry potter and the philospher’s stone probably. i used to watch it multiple times a year and now i watch it at least once

WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — watching my fave stand up comedies lol. go tos are john mulaney and bo burnham

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — all time fave is the front bottoms but a more recent fave is rex orange county

WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in

ANY PHOBIAS? — not really

DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — fuck no but i dont really lose my shit over them

BIRDS? — they can chill, except for emus fuck them

ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — more cat than dog but i want a dog rlly bad

BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — being talked over/ignored lol

FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — that i’ve met and become friends with so many cool people from all over the world ??? like what the fuck ???

TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — i mean obv at the moment its alisha boe and alex wolff, but also love liana liberato, benedetta gargari, joe keery, really love using all the skam nl fcs, lili reinhart, oliver jackson-cohen, zoe kravitz, and probs a million more i just cant think of

FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — literally all of them bye lmao

FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — i luh me some pasta ok

WORST FOOD? — seafood lol i’ve never eaten it and i probs never will

DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? — i play a lil and wanna play more! atm i have a ps4 and i like to play a lot of like “””decision making games””” (until dawn, detroit become human, etc) but mainly i play graveyard keeper. currently saving to get a pc so i can play more

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — i said something about the barkley marathons before and i would just like to say netflix took it down recently and i haven’t recovered i feel like pure shit i just want her (the barkley marathons) back x

LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — i follow a couple of the admins from my ooc blog and saw it was back (after never having time to join any of the other iterations of lockwood) and was like fuck it yk

#huntingtontask001 #huntingtonooc #huntingtontask

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blandmemoirs · 6 years ago

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Anger

Rage, Fury, Fire, Pain, Momentum, Energy, unyielding emotion. When I am angry my mind is clear of all the torment of anxiety or doubt. I become objective driven, I become focused, I become energized. I am filled with a burning passion to move, and to never stop moving.

In days of old, my anger would manifest through methods of lashing out. Of attacking, of punching back, of inflicting pain on that which upset me. This is unproductive. To hurt another as a result of your frustration is unjustified. It doesnt make a situation better. It makes it worse. It builds further resentment between yourself and the person you are angry at. It prevents solutions. It causes more hurt. I learned this a long time ago and understand it today. I cannot swear to pacifism, but I will not resort to violence unless my safety or the safety of those I love is directly threatened.

I made a choice a few years ago to use my anger productively. If I am to become angry, I cannot lash out. I cannot hurt other people. I have to use it to be productive. Anger, like any emotion, is a flare of passion in the body and mind. It is energy, and it can be redirected in ways that dont further a cycle of violence. That is what I live to prove.

I am an angry person. I get angry, often. Its not a new development in my life. It has followed me since my childhood. Its sources are numerous. I cant attribute it to any one cause or happening. I have always been angry.

I know this because in kindergarten, I would pick fights with other children, often. Just random, chaotic violence. I enjoyed it. I liked hurting other people. Then I would go home to more violence. This time from my parents into me as discipline for my actions. My parents would belt me for more than just violence, it could come from me simply acting out. Sometimes I was spared the physical harm by recieving emotional harm from furious yelling. My parents taught me anger and violence, and their resorting to violence taught me to resort to violence. Might made right. I shouldnt put all of my problems on my parents, but they wear a substantial amount of blame for the way I learned to cope and act.

My father is an angry man. He grew up in harsh conditions with a harsh family that put him through worse than I've ever lived through. He made sure to tell me that anytime I voiced the tyranny in his actions. He resents his older brother, doesnt like his father, and has spent much of his life failing. Deep in debt from his own mistakes, bearing the blame for a fractured household and broken marriage, he is full of anger. He takes out his anger on those weaker than him. From the dogs he can kick when they bark too loud, to the children he can endlessly insult and shout at for minor transgressions. All made worse by alcoholism to cope. My father is not a bad man, but an incredibly flawed and broken one. He does make efforts to redeem and be better, but he has not yet atoned for his actions, and the marks he has left on his children will linger whether he accepts it or not.

My mother is an angry woman. Raised in a split household between parents who live irresponsibly and resent each other. She was a rebellious youth who took her own childhood away when I was conceived. A child raising a child. A lack of freedom as her life is indebted to my survival and later, two more. Dead end job to dead end job. A broken marriage and a dysfunctional family she is forced to raise with no individual progress to be attained. She resents her circumstances. She desires higher living and a fate she can control. She takes out her anger on those weaker than her. From the dogs she can hit to the children she can scream at for "negativity". All made worse by alcohol and weed. My mother is not a bad woman, she is just an incredibly flawed and broken one. A girl who became a mother too quickly. An independent soul tethered to a path of dependence. She makes efforts to be better, but often furthers a rift she created. Her anger will be remembered in the hearts of her children.

I do not know the true extent of my parents lives, I only know what I have seen, been revealed, and assumed. I know one thing for certain, they are examples of how not to grow up. The anger they live with is an anger I live with. To tame their beasts they drink and lash out, I must be better.

Which is why I cling so desperately to the example set for myself by the Incredible Hulk, my favorite character. A genius with deep emotional trauma turned into a monster fueled by rage. Dr Robert Bruce Banner must learn to live with the monster that dwells inside him. The Hulk, limitless rage personified, is a monster that does not want to hurt people, but just wants to be left alone among his friends. He is violent, but only because he recieves violence. The monster is capable of reason, of morality, of seeing through the surge of rage to know what is right and what is wrong. As such, the Hulk chooses to be a hero, to save and protect the innocent and to smash those who do evil. Bruce Banner must live with his anger, to know when it is right to let the beast out and to understand when smashing is the wrong option.

Banner has spent most of his life trying to rid himself of the Hulk, but the Hulk is not something Banner can live without. The Hulk is a part of Bruce, is a piece of his damaged psyche which will always exist. The gamma radiation only externalized these features.

Hulk also resents Banner, and wishes he could exist without him. Hulk doesn't like Banner's weak manner and conniving mind. Hulk doesn't like being locked up in a cage in the back of Banners mind. Hulk wants to be free and Hulk wants to be left alone.

These two characters are inseparable, and two sides of the same coin. Hulk is a manifestation of Banners trauma and repressed anger. Hulk is a destructive force of passion that can be directed to do good. These entities must coexist, for they need each other.

What does this have to do with me? In a less hyperbolic manner, my rage is a part of me. It does not go away. It never ends. It is a piece of my heart and mind. It is a force that makes me want to destroy all that causes harm to those I love. Anger does not cease within the chaotic storm that is my heart, it persists and waits for its time to possess me. When I am angry my body tenses, my eyes focus, my heart beats at rapid pace, my stomach churns, my body shakes. At its worst I lose sight and see nothing but flashes of red as I convulse into shivers of rage. When control of my body is returned the next moment, my mind is clear and I am energized in a way almost as potently as when I am in love. I can do almost anything. It is raw adrenaline. I move faster, harder, and with more force and precision than when I am in a normal state. I make objectives and carry them through. I become a machine fueled by limitless rage. It can almost be addicting. Sometimes I have so much force locked inside I feel an urge to scream. I often repress it for the sake of keeping attention away from myself. Anger makes me more effective in my work. Be it my actual job, my writing, or editing. I am so focused, creative forces flow, all through the red lense of rage. Sometimes I run, sometimes I drive, sometimes I channel this energy into speaking. An endless monologue or a consoling speech to a friend in need. For that is the true root to my rage. A friend in pain. When a friend is hurt, I flare up. The closer and more important my friend, the angrier I get. The angrier I get the more energy I have and the more I cant stop moving. My foot tapping, my leg bouncing, I pace. Anger does not debilitate me, it gives me more ability than I know what to do with.

It is not just that a friend is in pain, it is that I cant do anything to stop it. I can't do anything to change their cirumstance. I cannot save them from their suffering because the forces that hurt them are out of my control, out of my influence. I can only console, and console I do, even as rage paves the way of my actions.

When my anger releases its possession of me, I am left to deep introspection and concern. Did I do enough? Did I help? Did I do anything? Why was I angry? I feel rejuvenated, almost born anew. The passion has retreated to my internal self, and I am left feeling cool and calmer. Sometimes, in truly helpess circumstances, I feel empty. I was not enough. I didn't do enough. Worst, when my anger was used unproductively, I feel guilty. Knowing I was wrong and unjust. It is a betrayal to myself to use anger to harm others.

Today I was made angry at the hurt of one of the most important people in my life whom I care deeply for. Their circumstances are far beyond my powers to control, and they themself live far from me. The only thing I can do is send my love and support in the form of text or voice. It never feels like enough. My anger possesses me, and the temptation to strike out at the world that causes such endless pain for my loved ones exists. A random act of violence to atone for the wrongs done to another. That is not right. There is no justice in that. There is no good to come from it. So instead I made my objective to work harder, to make more money in my shift and to ensure my immediate environment was taken care of. I wished every coworker safe travels and good nights, I greeted and enthusiastically interacted with customers and pedestrians who gave me the time. Spreading good energy and doing good for others while powered up with this anger made for a more productive day. When the anger finally relinquished, I began typing. To explain, and to document for myself. I can do good with the frustration I feel. I can be a good man.

I understand this all very intimately now. A younger, less introspective Robbie did not. I got angry, had so much energy and power in my palms I only thought to make a fist. I would then use those fists for causes of pain and revenge, sometimes on undeserving parties. It built a guilt deep inside me that I will never forgive myself for. I can only be a better person now. Instead of making a fist I pick up a pen, or more truthfully I grab a keyboard. Words, endless words, inspired by anger and made real through my choices to funnel that rage.

I am inseparable from my anger. My anger is a part of me. I have to own it, and I have to admit to it. I cant live in fear of myself for what can happen when I lose control, as rare as such an occurence is. I have to instead use it to be productive, and clean up what messes I make with it. And I will make messes. I will hurt people. It is inevitable for an emotion as potent as anger. Sometimes the lense of rage prevents us from seeing reality as fairly as we might. Sometimes a fist is formed.

It is my responsibility and my burden to bear. I cannot blame others for my own nature. I can not allow myself to resent others for who I am. When I am made angry, instead I must find a way to resolve my conflicts and make good.

The Hulk has been saving the world for decades through his anger, and I can do the same. Its not easy. Living with yourself and accepting yourself is hard for some people who look deep into themselves enough. I used to cage this monster, to repress it. It would always free itself and come to the surface. Pent up aggression and bitterness blinds anger and creates pain. Instead, I will live with this intensity I call my anger, and I will continue to live to make it productive, for the benefit of myself and my friends.

I should not hate myself because I am angry. My anger is rooted in the love I have. There is nothing wrong with being angry unless I choose to hurt others with it. That is a choice I will not make unless the other is someone of truly abominable character.

Robbie Bland is an angry person, but he is not a bad person because of it. Make your anger productive. 'Nuff said. Thanks for reading.

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sweetlifetownsville · 6 years ago

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The Vigilante Of The 'Ville: Our Mayor's Goes Full Bogan On Potential Looters

Irony Corner Seems Mayor Mullets vision for 2020 has come somewhat early. Oh, cruel, cruel fate.

Its Going To Be A Long Road Ahead On Many Fronts Well talk about the inquiry into the handling of the flood shortly, but its one hell of a the mountain we have to climb to recover from this A perceptive reader and regular commenter with connections out west provided this appraisal of just some pitfalls awaiting us. The implications of the monsoon disaster go far beyond the immediate damage to housing and community infrastructure in the city itself, and could havepotentially massive implications for Townsvilles economy and ongoing employment in The city.

Reliable local sources in the mineral transport sector have told me that they are anticipating the rail line between Townsville and Mt Isa will have hundreds of km of track washed away, and if this is the case they expect it would be closed for at least 6-8 months. Massive amounts of mineral product are railed to Townsville from the western mineral province for further processing and/or shipment through the Port.While it will be possible to switch some of the product to road transport this will result in tens of thousands of extra heavy vehicle movements with the resultant safety implications and wear and tear on the Flinders Highway and local roads, and will present a logistical nightmare to schedule and manage. In any case road transport can never handle the sheer volume of product currently being sent on rail. There is even a whisper it may have an impact on the viability of Glencores smelter operations in Mt Isa. After all, what is the point of operating the smelter if they cant transport the product out in viable quantities? If this is the case it would have flow on implications for their Copper Refinery in Stuart as the Mt Isa smelter is the primary source of the raw copper anode used in the refining process. It was only 3 or 4 years ago that Glencore were seriously considering closing both the Mt Isa smelter and Townsville refinery and moving to production and sale of bulk concentrated product only. Closure of the rail line for an extended period may be enough to tip the scale towards ceasing the operation of both the smelter and refinery. Challenging times are indeed ahead for our city. Jenny Hills Disgraceful Dog Whistling If ever any one instance among so many can be definitively cited to question Jenny Hills fitness for leadership, it would have to be this

This is simply disgraceful, cynical and above all, irresponsible. She said it two or three times in different instances, and it can only have been a cheap ploy to paint herself as in tune with the community sentiment. Or perhaps she really doesnt understand her role, because thats not leading, thats being led. What a person with real leadership qualities, dignity and care for her citys image would have done would be the exact opposite of this thinly veiled condoning of rough justice a call to people under stress by current circumstances and generally fed up with property crime to curb a natural tendency to violence against anyone found looting. Work with the police, but dont try to do their job, should have been the message, I understand how youre feeling now, but you have to rise above the temptation to be lawless, to any sort of summary justice whatever you do, do not act like a mob. But no, the message seen around Australia, delivered by this swaggering bogan Boedicia, ensured the growing perception of Townsville as a bogan backwater was reinforced in the most damaging fashion. And Jenny, youd better hope to hell no mob action results in serious assault or even murder or you will be held morally and even possibly legally, responsible. Simply disgraceful. So Mayor Mullets Miracle Turns To Mud There is little doubt that Jenny Hill was hoping for an miracle electoral recovery by doing a sterling job that would gain her much needed kudos during the floods, steering the city through the crisis and ending up with a dam fill of water. Well, she got the water all right, but her hopes for the kudos are unlikely. The floods have exposed several issues that started well before last week chaotic staff deployment, lack of experience in handling the information flow, an alarming failing in the out-dated and poorly maintained (through lack of proper staff) fleet of council vehicles, and long-standing dangerous planning laws. But the immediate the questions already being asked about the timings of releasing the backed-up water has managed to raise questioning eyebrows everywhere. Both the premier and the mayor both recognised as cynical if inept political operators have suddenly moved to distance themselves from that decision making, as The Pie noted in comments on Friday.

The Premier has done it in the most cowardly panicked manner, dodging straight-forward questions about the issue by seeking to blame the Townsville Council because they own the Ross Dam. Thats true BUT the water is managed by SunWater, a statutory Queensland Government-owned corporation. Wouldnt that be the putative body having a big say in advising strategy? And Mayor Hill is seeking what cover she can get by today repeatedly using the phrase the council decided instead of I, as mayor and chair of the Disaster Committee decided . This is just the start of some furious back-pedalling that can only be sorted out by an independent inquiry. The Magpie Gets Something Off His Chest There were a lot of side issues tumbling about in the muddied waters during the week. The Pie was mightily chuffed to see the ABC interview with an old copper friend from years back, Matty Lyons (constable back in The Pies court reporting days, and now crikey, well done, Matty Acting Inspector Mathhew Lyons ). Driving about the stricken city with the reporter, Officer Lyons was calm, authoritative, and mercifully free from buzz word obscurity, just plain language about how it felt to be doing this job. He summed it up by simply saying This is what we do. Perhaps it was that quiet and dignified summation that prompted The Magpie to blow a long-suppressed gasket when he responded to this comment during the week regarding the unfortunate drowning of two men fleeing police after a suspected looting incident. February 8, 2019 at 8:30 am(Edit) Has anyone given a thought to the two poor young coppers who watched them being swept away to their almost certain deaths? Or the police diver who found their bodies? The Magpie February 8, 2019 at 12:45 pm(Edit) Hey, hang on suddenly the police are the victims of the tragedy? This sort of nonsense has got to stop. Police do a difficult and dangerous job, and see things most of us never want to see, but they are trained in this, volunteered to join up for this, and have guidance and counselling available if required. While what The Pie calls officer anguish can be real and debilitating in extreme cases, it is surely vastly overstated. Police Union boss Ian Leavers is a past master at this tactic, making out that we should be concentrating on the emotions of the attending officers rather than the real victims of accidents, murders and other unpleasantness they attend. If nothing else, this invites all police officers to embrace a weird sort of victimhood of emotional injury. (Of course, this does not include actual injuries courageous police officers receive in the line of duty, but again, the dead fish-stare, Peter Dutton-lookalike Leavers trots out the totally false mantra that police do not go to work expecting to be assaulted and deserve to be able to go home uninjured to their families. False because that is EXACTLY what they are entitled to expect, especially when given their powers of arrest and hardware to accomplish this if necessary. Such irresponsible, unintelligent sophistry completely belies what a police officers main tasks are all about inter alia controlling, detaining and otherwise engaging with the criminal, the drunk and the unfortunate mental sufferers. Does he suggest that all the wrong-doers in this world have some sort of moral obligations to walk forward, arms outstretched for the cuffs, saying You got me bang to rights, constable, sorry about that? Morals and criminals are mutually exclusive terms and for zealots like Leavers to imply otherwise is just plain insulting. And dopey. Cor, that feels better. But not for long heres something that is unfathomable, a judge reaching a decision that is deeply disturbing, and could affect the already strained hip pocket of every Queenslander who owns and/or drives a vehicle.

The nub of the story is that Justice Peter Flanagan found the late Byron Williams, who was speeding and intoxicated with amphetamines and cannabis when his car hit a tree on the Sunshine Coast in 2013, had a legal duty of care not to expose the officer to psychiatric injury through his negligence, which in fact killed him at the scene. Former senior constable David Paul Caffrey developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after his experiences at the scene, including trying to keep Mr Williams alive with first aid and encouragement, and then leading his parents to farewell their son shortly before his death. No one doubts the aftermath was very real and tragic, and Mr Caffrey has indeed suffered greatly, including losing his job. But how this is the insurance companys fault can only be the result of the arcane reasoning of finer points of the law by Justice Flanagan. The judge dismissed any such argument, with the ABC reporting:Lawyers for Williams insurance company argued not his responsibility to take reasonable steps to avoid exposing officers to psychiatric harm through his death or suffering. They argued the public could reasonably expect that emergency service officers such as police were trained and equipped to avoid harm via exposure at accident scenes. Justice Flanagan ordered the insurer pay $1,092,948 in damages. The payout seems about right under legal guidelines for this sort of serious mental and emotional injury, but The Magpie takes issue with who has to pay it it is surely the Police Unions insurers isnt it the union that allows their members to be so exposed to this sort of thing? , or the relevant government departments responsibility, for the same reason. That way, those loving, caring and oh-so-fair outfits called insurance companies will have no excuse to whack a premium on all driver insurances, to guard against causing similar injury caused by you being maimed or dying in a car accident. Other Unbelievable Scenes In Townsville Messagebank Curiously Examining A Strange Oblong Object

So what, you say? Well, check the background bloke

Could it be that Deputy DooDah Les Messagebank Walker really does check his messages and respond to the concerns of the Townsville ratepayers? Haha, just jokin. Of course he could be doing any of the following: * betting on the neddies * getting a date * ordering at the bottle-o * organising campaign donations * building an international hotel in his division * seeking positions vacant for a job when his political career is over (in March next year) * checking a bus timetable, or the latest date for the opening of the CBD bus hub. More likely just playing Candy Crush. Odds Are Jenna Cairney Will Soon Be Heading South The Magpie makes this prediction after checking the latest eye-popping readership figures for regional newspapers.

See if you can spot why head office in Holt Street might see a bigger future for Ms Cairney. Yup, a whopping 34.4% lift year on year, and almost as satisfying as at least tying with the Cairns Post, just one thousand off the Canberra Times!!! Which either says a lot of good things about The Bulletin or a lot of bad things about the Canberra Times your choice. If The Pie has been happy to accept the previous uniformly ghastly Astonisher readership figures supplied by the Roy Morgan survey outfit, then he can hardly refute this spectacular jump in the Astonishers fortunes, hard to believe though it is. So well done, Jenna and crew and whoever thought up all those pester power promotions for kids free books series over a week with each paper. And a reminder, readership is done by survey, while circulation is the actual number of newspapers printed and distributed in one form or another. A couple of years ago, all News Corpse papers suddenly withdrew from the traditional agreement to supply circulation figures to the audit bureau, so the public and advertisers can only take their word for whatever they say about numbers. But heres an interesting little bit of maths the Bulletin has always made the amusing claim to support phantasmagorical claims by News own readership measurement mob EMMA that every single paper is read by EIGHT separate people yes, eight. So the last known week circulation was about 17,000 and falling, so youd guess it was around 15 to 14000 now , BUT if no one at News was telling fibs, a simple calculation ( 8 divided into 44) we get a print run of about 5500 on weekdays. Hmmm Somebodys been telling fibs, but the news can only be good for Ms Cairney anyone who can turn a paper around like that, though it still be a pale shadow of its glory days, is obviously bound for bigger things. But wont it be a funny thing if it turns out the increase had been because of the promotion of its wonderful unintentional comical side here in The Magpies Nest (humblebrag, humblebrag). The Varnished Truth The Magpie had a dream .he had an exclusive interview with Jenna Cairney, in which the editor of the Daily Astonisher talked openly about a crisis she bravely battled alone, and that few knew about in the past couple of anguished weeks..

Well, it really was a close run thing, a weary but still radiant Ms Cairney said, gently brushing aside a stray wisp of her golden hair, and sipping a glass of Stoneleigh chardonnay (on special at Liquorland 20% off with coupon clipped from the paper on Page 1). We have been so flat out that we didnt notice until almost too late that our stocks of adjectives and suitable verbs was about to run out. Nouns were sort of OK, they tend to speak for themselves, but, in fact, we were down to just a half dozen shockings , four incredibles and just one single devastating; wed run out of heart-breaks last week, used the very last horror yesterday, and things werent helped when some junior accidentally mixed the massives in with the mammoths. She shook her head with a knowing, wistful smile, and murmured Ah these young cubs, just wee laddies and lassies, most of them, but theyll learn, theyll learn . .. Of course, she continued, this mix-up caused big headaches when we have to start using nouns like blunder and misjudgement it is starting to look like were going to need a well, massive supply of them in coming months, she smiled. But then the worried look returned to her normally untroubled brow We had used our very last wreaking havoc two days ago. But now the train from Brisbane finally got through with fresh stores, particularly a couple of hundred courageouss, a whole carton of indominatable fighting spirits and they generously chucked in a few useful phrases like NQ breeds them tough and pioneer tradition John Andersen was particularly relieved about that last one. For a while there it looked like we were going to have to try and use a few iconics and at least a half a dozen alleged both of which we have plenty but now its seems we can avoid drastic change in style of simply letting such events speak for for themselves, and we can give these recovery stories the adjectival recognition they deserve. Readers will now no longer be denied the fully varnished truth of what has happened. After all, it is alleged we are an iconic newspaper. Quite so, mdear, quite so and The Magpie thanks you for Exclusively Revealing all this. The Pie is now a fan, and is All For You. Now For Some Unvarnished Truth From Washington No no, this isnt the Trump-bashing section thats next but this is one of the best structured and cleverly presented dissections of what ails the American body politic that you will ever hear. And the scary thing every single word is true and said in a very formal hearing session. Some deluded people have suggested Ms Ocasio-Cortes, who has definite green leanings, is the Sarah Hansen-Young of American politicians. Ha, they wish. Now Its Trumpistan Gallery Time The Trumpets long awaited State of the Union address played to a packed house during the week, with all the elected women wearing white as a silent opinion of pussy grabbing. At least they were open about it some of Trumps greatest supporters hid their allegiance, or it wouldve looked like this.

About Bloody Time No, Literally, Its ABOUT Bloody Time Well, itll add some variety to Sorry Ive got a headache. Women are going to find the latest emoji handy, for both information and as an excuse, even if it aint so.

Its called the period emoji, and sure will take the guesswork out of budding relationships. It follows a joint campaign by Plan International UK and the blood service for England. Unicode has announced that a blood drop symbol will be among the new emoji released later this year to signify menstruation. The intention of the campaign is to remove the stigma and shame around menstruation. The Pie must admit he didnt realise there was stigma and shame about such an established fact of human life, except that imposed by the men of medieval religions which is all of them who think nothing of bloody mutilations, beheadings and all manner of messy bloodthirsty bastadry. How anyone ever decided to brand menstruation as unclean got it exactly back to front the monthly discharge is in fact a natural cleansing of fertile females, inconvenient though it may be some women who dont plan to have children. This news will perhaps be a boon to avoiding misunderstanding in a relationship, and banish conversations that are at cross purposes, as typified by the 50s schoolboy joke about the bloke whose girlfriend asked what they were going to do that night. He replied they could maybe go to a movie, or they could ahem, wink wink go for a walk in the park, what did she want to do? The girl looked shy, blushed, and replied Its immaterial for me. The bloke said, Ah, well, wed better go to the pictures then. .. Thats it for this week, and comments are up and running from this moment. The Pie has gathered a great deal of interesting information in the past few days, which he has filed away for future blogs, but if just want to vent a bit, feel free, the comments section is for you. And if you feel this load of old cobblers is worth it, you can make a donation using the button below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-vigilante-of-the-ville-our-mayors-goes-full-bogan-on-potential-looters/

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mado-science · 8 years ago

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Wonderful 'How To' book which answers nearly every subject involving cat ownership....except one! Love, love this book, except for one thing....when looking for information for getting rid of hair matts on our two year old maine coon cat...nothing was suggested, except taking to groomer, and possibly putting down with anesthetic, which is a bad thing to do, let alone the extra costs involved. So, googled home remedies for cat mstts, and found wonderful solutions, that involved rubbing s little olive or baby oil into the Matt, and miraculously, the cat is able to untangle by himself...but does leave s little bald spot, which is not harmful, as hair quickly grows back! I was able to cancel appt. with groomer to shave our Cat, save him from the trauma, as well as $$! If you just get some blunt nose trimming scissors, and trim off the top of the mat before rubbing with s few drops of olive or baby oil...the matts do disappear..some overnight! Go to Amazon

Classic Must-Have Guide to Cat Care I am reviewing the book "The Natural Cat" by Anitra Frazier. I have had cats in my life since I was 5 years old (over 50 years of cats !) and my parents before me had cats most of their adult lives. This is an exceptional reference book, filled with useful, practical, interesting information. If you read no further in this review, the main takeaway to me is - Do not feed your cat commercial mainstream brand cat food. Just as the overly processed SAD (standard American diet) is to American people, so is much of the supermarket overly processed cat food to cats (not the healthiest). Anitra Frazier details a better diet to feed your cat, which likely would prevent many of the "common" cat ailments that arise. If your cat has any ailments, this book will tell you what to do. If your cat is healthy and you want to keep it healthy, this book will tell you what to do. If you want to make your cat healthier and happier, this book will tell you how to do it. It is focused more on what is termed "alternative" holistic care-natural interventions and care strategies, yet does not discount the role of "Western" vet oriented care when needed. This is my go-to cat care book and I highly recommend this book to every cat owner. I found the information both effective and enlightening. Go to Amazon

A "health" dictionary for the holistic cat owner I'm the kind of person who treats my ailments with herbs, etc. So I wanted to be able to do the same for my cat. This book offered me many ways to do that. It was clear, with a good index, and covered a lot of subjects. The suggestions take you from "big jobs" of making your cat's raw meals, to simple things, like comforting your cat. It is sort of a dictionary, as it gives you brand names (vitamins --Vita Mix), and recipes. You can look up "cat dander," and learn what it is and what to do about it. So you dont have to read it from cover to cover (although I did glance thru the whole book, as you never know what "you didn't know to ask"). Go to Amazon

A Classic For Cat Owners This is a classic that I first bought in the 80's. It is valuable in that it reminds you to be compassionate to the cat's point of view. It is one of the for I would recommend - require! - for all cat owners. The others are Don Hamilton's Guide to Homeopathy, THe Home Veterinary Handbook by Eldredge, and Richard Pitcairn's Natural Health for Dogs and Cats. These have all be invaluable resources to me (over 30+ years of cat guardianship). Go to Amazon

Pushes her own product line too much My first copy of this book, which I bought way back when, was an excellent book full of great information and resources. Sadly, this edition is not so great. On every page there are references to her own line of pet food and supplement products. She used to focus on true healthy fresh food feeding and supplements. She does reference Dr Pitcairn frequently and Dr Plechner occasionally, both vets whose works I am familiar with, but it feels more like name dropping than real information. I am quite disappointed and very sad that I have misplaced my original volume. Go to Amazon

However I know another cat owner who did find the second half of the book eminently useful and her cat is marvelously healthy The first half of the book is very helpful and worth the price without the second half. The second half with all the new age stuff, I would take with a grain of salt. However I know another cat owner who did find the second half of the book eminently useful and her cat is marvelously healthy, so, my recommendation: buy this book. Read it, and take from it what is useful for you. It is one of the best books on cat care available. Go to Amazon

Anitra Frazier saved my cat's life. 12 years ago, when my Pywacket became diabetic, doctors were prescribing so-called high fiber dry food -- not much different than the food that was causing the epidemic of diabetes in the first place. Go to Amazon

This is the best resource for everything you need to know to care ... Help for you and your kitty This is an excellent book showing the holistic way for taking care of ... Loved this book Five Stars Excellent! Best cat book I have ever read Five Stars The Bible of Cat Care Five Stars

#biological #science #book

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eddy1895 · 5 years ago

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Hahah watching some LGBT movies..

So far I've gotten to Handsome Devil.

AHHH ANDREW GARFIELD IS A RANDOM ASS CHARACTER HHHHHHHH. But also it's really good so far. I'm gonna rate every single fucking lgbtq+ movie on Netflix and then I'll move onto a different platform until I find the bestest boy.

Spoiler warning bb!! Go watch Handsome Devil is on Netflix! (It's mostly me screeching and then the review is at the bottom) all of which is definitely probably spoilers.

Handsome Devil- First of all Andrew Garfield isn't taking assholes shit!! Good good boy! AHH PUNK BOY GOOD BOY. PLZ ANDREW DON'T BE WIERD BE A GOOD FATHER FIGURE AHHH YUSSS. Agressive boy good at rugbyyy? "Are you gay?" Secret passageways. Secret room with funky music. They are playing guitar together?? Cute. ANDREW GARFIELD UR DA BEST. GOOD TEACHER BOY. TEACH THEM GEETAR. UGH UR REALLY GONNA SAY THAT COACH. YES ASK HIM ON A DATE TO UR GAME BB. Oop he found out he's a homo. ANDREW GARF IS GAY AT THE GAY BAR. THEY ARE AWKWARDLY TALKING TO EACH OTHER. THEY ARE FAKING THE NOT HOMIESEXUAL. big bruh moment. I knew it. He's gay. Father son relationship but gay edition. Lovingly looking into his face. Uh oh he's not doing well at rugbyyy. What is that dog metaphor tho?? You dumb bitch beIN mean. He's not having gay sex with a teacher you dumb whoreee. I swear if you get rid of AG ILL BEAT UR ASS. YELL AT ME AG YELL AT ME TO SING LOUDLY AT MY PARTNER. STOP BEING MEAN TO DEM GAYS. OH MY GOD PLZ DONT threaten my boy? Ur as cold as ice? Why is that playing? Plz don't sacrifice Ned for not being revealed. Don't let urself be alone Ned. Ahhhh oh no cum onn. Conner you motherfucker your just letting him fail. Ffs. Where the fuck is this setting? Gross don't whisper in his ear like that though??plz don't fight. No don't put him in that position. Ouch that hurted man. It's okay Ned. He put the border back up :(((. Wtf how dare you out him Ned. I know u mad but that's the fuckin worst. Imma beat your ass. Oh my God Andrew ur gonna make me cry that's some fucking wisdom. Where TF IS CONNOR WHERE'D HE GOOO? oh no. AG don't be sad. Let him find his boyfriend fuckwads. YOU TELL HIM AG YOU TELL HIM. yesss ned. So like his parents r just gonna let him leave the car? They aren't worried?? Wtf. Eat shit coach bitch. AG is angsty stooooop. Runawayyy. He found his boy! Redemption Ned. Get him to play rugby for you. Preach bro. Fuck that coach he's a fuckin prick. You don't deserve to tell someone you can't be heard. DETERMINATION BITCH he's. Actually sucha. Good boy. AGs bf!! Arthur yes. Brilliant. The music! The drama! So good. He's so good at sports. Ned realizes his mistake!! The coach realizes his mistakes! Its over. So good so good!

THINGS ID LIKE TO CLARIFY: Ned is not gay I assumed he was which was wrong. but I am keeping the reactions just because they were raw in the moment and I don't want to change them. As well as a smaller note Conor's name is spelled with one N I'm just a dumb fuck.

Rep: pretty good. There was 3 canonically gay people? (Conor, Mr. Sherry and Mr. sherrys boyfriend Arthur.) There wasn't a moment I thought it was fetishising at all which is good.

Message: important. Being out an proud is amazing being comfortable with who you are. Its amazing. Conor wanted to be true. He wanted to speak with his voice. Mr. Sherry had an inspirational speech to Conor of it being okay. Although he wanted to come out sometimes you can't and that is absolutely okay. Like he said it's okay.

Acting: Impeccable it's good shit and I'm happy I watched it. The punch looked fake tho... As if that's really important.

Story: yum good stuff I'd say the part where Ned outted Conor wasn't great but he mentioned feeling bad about the incident. But also it kind of puts out the message that it's okay to out someone because they wanted to be out anyways in a good light?? Which is terrible. There's some parts that were hard to follow. Like I don't know the settings and such.

Slurs: 1 (not counting the times noises or the word gay being used as an insult)

Age: Highschool type.

TV rating: Mature

Smut scenes: 0 (thankfully)

Personal review outta 10: 7.56

A final note: It's good I enjoyed it! Watch it my friend! I might add to the review as time goes on as I think about it in the future as well as when other reviews come along.

#lgbtq+ movie ratings #imma be a movie critic. #first post of many #Ed's Monday movie review #I think Mondays are my prime days for these reviews so get hyped! #plz talk to me about da movie I don't wanna feel alone about this lmao #Handsome Devil

That's all folks.♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ ) (This was tiring and I'm hyped for next week!)

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sweetlifetownsville · 6 years ago

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The Vigilante Of The 'Ville: Our Mayor's Goes Full Bogan On Potential Looters

Irony Corner Seems Mayor Mullets vision for 2020 has come somewhat early. Oh, cruel, cruel fate.

So what, you say? Well, check the background bloke

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sweetlifetownsville · 6 years ago

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The Vigilante Of The 'Ville: Our Mayor's Goes Full Bogan On Potential Looters

Irony Corner Seems Mayor Mullets vision for 2020 has come somewhat early. Oh, cruel, cruel fate.

So what, you say? Well, check the background bloke

0 notes

sweetlifetownsville · 6 years ago

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The Vigilante Of The 'Ville: Our Mayor's Goes Full Bogan On Potential Looters

In a thinly disguised endorsement of vigilante violence, Mayor Mullet plays to the bogan voting block and further bolsters Townsvilles backwoods image. And the blame game has already started, with the Premier tossing Mayor Mullet a hospital pass on national TV and the mayor instantly fumbling it on Also, why Astonisher editor Jenna Cairney may not be with us much longer could it be argued shes doing too good a job? Youll stop laughing when you see the latest readership numbers. And while debate about insurance premiums are sure to be front and center following our floods, worse news on that front from down south a Queensland judge has just made an astounding ruling that could send premiums through the roof across the board And since the world goes on elsewhere, The Pie presents a riveting, must-see video: a clever and forensic dissection, grimly hilarious in its own way of the underlying threat to the US and the world and no, it is not Donald Trump. But first As Townsvilles huddled and weary flood victims start the long trek back to normality, it was heartening to look back and see that urban animals were not forgotten as people fled to safety. Although, as Bentley surmises, it was no time to adopt new pets. Irony Corner Seems Mayor Mullets vision for 2020 has come somewhat early. Oh, cruel, cruel fate. Its Going To Be A Long Road Ahead On Many Fronts Well talk about the inquiry into the handling of the flood shortly, but its one hell of a the mountain we have to climb to recover from this A perceptive reader and regular commenter with connections out west provided this appraisal of just some pitfalls awaiting us. The implications of the monsoon disaster go far beyond the immediate damage to housing and community infrastructure in the city itself, and could havepotentially massive implications for Townsvilles economy and ongoing employment in The city. Reliable local sources in the mineral transport sector have told me that they are anticipating the rail line between Townsville and Mt Isa will have hundreds of km of track washed away, and if this is the case they expect it would be closed for at least 6-8 months. Massive amounts of mineral product are railed to Townsville from the western mineral province for further processing and/or shipment through the Port.While it will be possible to switch some of the product to road transport this will result in tens of thousands of extra heavy vehicle movements with the resultant safety implications and wear and tear on the Flinders Highway and local roads, and will present a logistical nightmare to schedule and manage. In any case road transport can never handle the sheer volume of product currently being sent on rail. There is even a whisper it may have an impact on the viability of Glencores smelter operations in Mt Isa. After all, what is the point of operating the smelter if they cant transport the product out in viable quantities? If this is the case it would have flow on implications for their Copper Refinery in Stuart as the Mt Isa smelter is the primary source of the raw copper anode used in the refining process. It was only 3 or 4 years ago that Glencore were seriously considering closing both the Mt Isa smelter and Townsville refinery and moving to production and sale of bulk concentrated product only. Closure of the rail line for an extended period may be enough to tip the scale towards ceasing the operation of both the smelter and refinery. Challenging times are indeed ahead for our city. Jenny Hills Disgraceful Dog Whistling If ever any one instance among so many can be definitively cited to question Jenny Hills fitness for leadership, it would have to be this This is simply disgraceful, cynical and above all, irresponsible. She said it two or three times in different instances, and it can only have been a cheap ploy to paint herself as in tune with the community sentiment. Or perhaps she really doesnt understand her role, because thats not leading, thats being led. What a person with real leadership qualities, dignity and care for her citys image would have done would be the exact opposite of this thinly veiled condoning of rough justice a call to people under stress by current circumstances and generally fed up with property crime to curb a natural tendency to violence against anyone found looting. Work with the police, but dont try to do their job, should have been the message, I understand how youre feeling now, but you have to rise above the temptation to be lawless, to any sort of summary justice whatever you do, do not act like a mob. But no, the message seen around Australia, delivered by this swaggering bogan Boedicia, ensured the growing perception of Townsville as a bogan backwater was reinforced in the most damaging fashion. And Jenny, youd better hope to hell no mob action results in serious assault or even murder or you will be held morally and even possibly legally, responsible. Simply disgraceful. So Mayor Mullets Miracle Turns To Mud There is little doubt that Jenny Hill was hoping for an miracle electoral recovery by doing a sterling job that would gain her much needed kudos during the floods, steering the city through the crisis and ending up with a dam fill of water. Well, she got the water all right, but her hopes for the kudos are unlikely. The floods have exposed several issues that started well before last week chaotic staff deployment, lack of experience in handling the information flow, an alarming failing in the out-dated and poorly maintained (through lack of proper staff) fleet of council vehicles, and long-standing dangerous planning laws. But the immediate the questions already being asked about the timings of releasing the backed-up water has managed to raise questioning eyebrows everywhere. Both the premier and the mayor both recognised as cynical if inept political operators have suddenly moved to distance themselves from that decision making, as The Pie noted in comments on Friday. The Premier has done it in the most cowardly panicked manner, dodging straight-forward questions about the issue by seeking to blame the Townsville Council because they own the Ross Dam. Thats true BUT the water is managed by SunWater, a statutory Queensland Government-owned corporation. Wouldnt that be the putative body having a big say in advising strategy? And Mayor Hill is seeking what cover she can get by today repeatedly using the phrase the council decided instead of I, as mayor and chair of the Disaster Committee decided . This is just the start of some furious back-pedalling that can only be sorted out by an independent inquiry. The Magpie Gets Something Off His Chest There were a lot of side issues tumbling about in the muddied waters during the week. The Pie was mightily chuffed to see the ABC interview with an old copper friend from years back, Matty Lyons (constable back in The Pies court reporting days, and now crikey, well done, Matty Acting Inspector Mathhew Lyons ). Driving about the stricken city with the reporter, Officer Lyons was calm, authoritative, and mercifully free from buzz word obscurity, just plain language about how it felt to be doing this job. He summed it up by simply saying This is what we do. Perhaps it was that quiet and dignified summation that prompted The Magpie to blow a long-suppressed gasket when he responded to this comment during the week regarding the unfortunate drowning of two men fleeing police after a suspected looting incident. February 8, 2019 at 8:30 am(Edit) Has anyone given a thought to the two poor young coppers who watched them being swept away to their almost certain deaths? Or the police diver who found their bodies? The Magpie February 8, 2019 at 12:45 pm(Edit) Hey, hang on suddenly the police are the victims of the tragedy? This sort of nonsense has got to stop. Police do a difficult and dangerous job, and see things most of us never want to see, but they are trained in this, volunteered to join up for this, and have guidance and counselling available if required. While what The Pie calls officer anguish can be real and debilitating in extreme cases, it is surely vastly overstated. Police Union boss Ian Leavers is a past master at this tactic, making out that we should be concentrating on the emotions of the attending officers rather than the real victims of accidents, murders and other unpleasantness they attend. If nothing else, this invites all police officers to embrace a weird sort of victimhood of emotional injury. (Of course, this does not include actual injuries courageous police officers receive in the line of duty, but again, the dead fish-stare, Peter Dutton-lookalike Leavers trots out the totally false mantra that police do not go to work expecting to be assaulted and deserve to be able to go home uninjured to their families. False because that is EXACTLY what they are entitled to expect, especially when given their powers of arrest and hardware to accomplish this if necessary. Such irresponsible, unintelligent sophistry completely belies what a police officers main tasks are all about inter alia controlling, detaining and otherwise engaging with the criminal, the drunk and the unfortunate mental sufferers. Does he suggest that all the wrong-doers in this world have some sort of moral obligations to walk forward, arms outstretched for the cuffs, saying You got me bang to rights, constable, sorry about that? Morals and criminals are mutually exclusive terms and for zealots like Leavers to imply otherwise is just plain insulting. And dopey. Cor, that feels better. But not for long heres something that is unfathomable, a judge reaching a decision that is deeply disturbing, and could affect the already strained hip pocket of every Queenslander who owns and/or drives a vehicle. The nub of the story is that Justice Peter Flanagan found the late Byron Williams, who was speeding and intoxicated with amphetamines and cannabis when his car hit a tree on the Sunshine Coast in 2013, had a legal duty of care not to expose the officer to psychiatric injury through his negligence, which in fact killed him at the scene. Former senior constable David Paul Caffrey developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after his experiences at the scene, including trying to keep Mr Williams alive with first aid and encouragement, and then leading his parents to farewell their son shortly before his death. No one doubts the aftermath was very real and tragic, and Mr Caffrey has indeed suffered greatly, including losing his job. But how this is the insurance companys fault can only be the result of the arcane reasoning of finer points of the law by Justice Flanagan. The judge dismissed any such argument, with the ABC reporting:Lawyers for Williams insurance company argued not his responsibility to take reasonable steps to avoid exposing officers to psychiatric harm through his death or suffering. They argued the public could reasonably expect that emergency service officers such as police were trained and equipped to avoid harm via exposure at accident scenes. Justice Flanagan ordered the insurer pay $1,092,948 in damages. The payout seems about right under legal guidelines for this sort of serious mental and emotional injury, but The Magpie takes issue with who has to pay it it is surely the Police Unions insurers isnt it the union that allows their members to be so exposed to this sort of thing? , or the relevant government departments responsibility, for the same reason. That way, those loving, caring and oh-so-fair outfits called insurance companies will have no excuse to whack a premium on all driver insurances, to guard against causing similar injury caused by you being maimed or dying in a car accident. Other Unbelievable Scenes In Townsville Messagebank Curiously Examining A Strange Oblong Object So what, you say? Well, check the background bloke Could it be that Deputy DooDah Les Messagebank Walker really does check his messages and respond to the concerns of the Townsville ratepayers? Haha, just jokin. Of course he could be doing any of the following: * betting on the neddies * getting a date * ordering at the bottle-o * organising campaign donations * building an international hotel in his division * seeking positions vacant for a job when his political career is over (in March next year) * checking a bus timetable, or the latest date for the opening of the CBD bus hub. More likely just playing Candy Crush. Odds Are Jenna Cairney Will Soon Be Heading South The Magpie makes this prediction after checking the latest eye-popping readership figures for regional newspapers. See if you can spot why head office in Holt Street might see a bigger future for Ms Cairney. Yup, a whopping 34.4% lift year on year, and almost as satisfying as at least tying with the Cairns Post, just one thousand off the Canberra Times!!! Which either says a lot of good things about The Bulletin or a lot of bad things about the Canberra Times your choice. If The Pie has been happy to accept the previous uniformly ghastly Astonisher readership figures supplied by the Roy Morgan survey outfit, then he can hardly refute this spectacular jump in the Astonishers fortunes, hard to believe though it is. So well done, Jenna and crew and whoever thought up all those pester power promotions for kids free books series over a week with each paper. And a reminder, readership is done by survey, while circulation is the actual number of newspapers printed and distributed in one form or another. A couple of years ago, all News Corpse papers suddenly withdrew from the traditional agreement to supply circulation figures to the audit bureau, so the public and advertisers can only take their word for whatever they say about numbers. But heres an interesting little bit of maths the Bulletin has always made the amusing claim to support phantasmagorical claims by News own readership measurement mob EMMA that every single paper is read by EIGHT separate people yes, eight. So the last known week circulation was about 17,000 and falling, so youd guess it was around 15 to 14000 now , BUT if no one at News was telling fibs, a simple calculation ( 8 divided into 44) we get a print run of about 5500 on weekdays. Hmmm Somebodys been telling fibs, but the news can only be good for Ms Cairney anyone who can turn a paper around like that, though it still be a pale shadow of its glory days, is obviously bound for bigger things. But wont it be a funny thing if it turns out the increase had been because of the promotion of its wonderful unintentional comical side here in The Magpies Nest (humblebrag, humblebrag). The Varnished Truth The Magpie had a dream .he had an exclusive interview with Jenna Cairney, in which the editor of the Daily Astonisher talked openly about a crisis she bravely battled alone, and that few knew about in the past couple of anguished weeks.. Well, it really was a close run thing, a weary but still radiant Ms Cairney said, gently brushing aside a stray wisp of her golden hair, and sipping a glass of Stoneleigh chardonnay (on special at Liquorland 20% off with coupon clipped from the paper on Page 1). We have been so flat out that we didnt notice until almost too late that our stocks of adjectives and suitable verbs was about to run out. Nouns were sort of OK, they tend to speak for themselves, but, in fact, we were down to just a half dozen shockings , four incredibles and just one single devastating; wed run out of heart-breaks last week, used the very last horror yesterday, and things werent helped when some junior accidentally mixed the massives in with the mammoths. She shook her head with a knowing, wistful smile, and murmured Ah these young cubs, just wee laddies and lassies, most of them, but theyll learn, theyll learn . .. Of course, she continued, this mix-up caused big headaches when we have to start using nouns like blunder and misjudgement it is starting to look like were going to need a well, massive supply of them in coming months, she smiled. But then the worried look returned to her normally untroubled brow We had used our very last wreaking havoc two days ago. But now the train from Brisbane finally got through with fresh stores, particularly a couple of hundred courageouss, a whole carton of indominatable fighting spirits and they generously chucked in a few useful phrases like NQ breeds them tough and pioneer tradition John Andersen was particularly relieved about that last one. For a while there it looked like we were going to have to try and use a few iconics and at least a half a dozen alleged both of which we have plenty but now its seems we can avoid drastic change in style of simply letting such events speak for for themselves, and we can give these recovery stories the adjectival recognition they deserve. Readers will now no longer be denied the fully varnished truth of what has happened. After all, it is alleged we are an iconic newspaper. Quite so, mdear, quite so and The Magpie thanks you for Exclusively Revealing all this. The Pie is now a fan, and is All For You. Now For Some Unvarnished Truth From Washington No no, this isnt the Trump-bashing section thats next but this is one of the best structured and cleverly presented dissections of what ails the American body politic that you will ever hear. And the scary thing every single word is true and said in a very formal hearing session. Some deluded people have suggested Ms Ocasio-Cortes, who has definite green leanings, is the Sarah Hansen-Young of American politicians. Ha, they wish. Now Its Trumpistan Gallery Time The Trumpets long awaited State of the Union address played to a packed house during the week, with all the elected women wearing white as a silent opinion of pussy grabbing. At least they were open about it some of Trumps greatest supporters hid their allegiance, or it wouldve looked like this. About Bloody Time No, Literally, Its ABOUT Bloody Time Well, itll add some variety to Sorry Ive got a headache. Women are going to find the latest emoji handy, for both information and as an excuse, even if it aint so. Its called the period emoji, and sure will take the guesswork out of budding relationships. It follows a joint campaign by Plan International UK and the blood service for England. Unicode has announced that a blood drop symbol will be among the new emoji released later this year to signify menstruation. The intention of the campaign is to remove the stigma and shame around menstruation. The Pie must admit he didnt realise there was stigma and shame about such an established fact of human life, except that imposed by the men of medieval religions which is all of them who think nothing of bloody mutilations, beheadings and all manner of messy bloodthirsty bastadry. How anyone ever decided to brand menstruation as unclean got it exactly back to front the monthly discharge is in fact a natural cleansing of fertile females, inconvenient though it may be some women who dont plan to have children. This news will perhaps be a boon to avoiding misunderstanding in a relationship, and banish conversations that are at cross purposes, as typified by the 50s schoolboy joke about the bloke whose girlfriend asked what they were going to do that night. He replied they could maybe go to a movie, or they could ahem, wink wink go for a walk in the park, what did she want to do? The girl looked shy, blushed, and replied Its immaterial for me. The bloke said, Ah, well, wed better go to the pictures then. .. Thats it for this week, and comments are up and running from this moment. The Pie has gathered a great deal of interesting information in the past few days, which he has filed away for future blogs, but if just want to vent a bit, feel free, the comments section is for you. And if you feel this load of old cobblers is worth it, you can make a donation using the button below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-vigilante-of-the-ville-our-mayors-goes-full-bogan-on-potential-looters/

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