#I don't... I don't even know how to feel anymore if I'm being very serious
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rawliverandgoronspice · 1 year ago
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What did all we do to deserve Avi Arad making a zelda movie with a IDF guy with the blessing of Miyamoto? 😭
Being in the Zelda fandom, which uhhh... showed all of the signs. I guess. 😭😭😭
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aberooski · 2 years ago
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Luke's song Diamonds is hitting me a little too hard and close tonight.
#really hoping things will finally start to turn around again soon#I've been so depressed this year it's probably the worst I've been in a long time#the worst part is finding a job has been next to impossible and I have no driver's license so I can't leave my house#my bedroom is the attic of my house and I have windows so all I've been able to do for literal months is sit up there in my cave#and just stew in my misery and try and fail to find a way out of it#I've just stopped taking care of myself as the months have gone by too#at least I haven't been doing as well as I was. I never really did a very good job to begin with#I just sit around and try to look at jobs and cry all day and I have to fight myself to drink water or brush my teeth at night or even eat#unless it's breakfast or dinner. that or I actually do eat but tell myself I've been eating too much and stop eating for the day again.#I harsly talk to anyone In real life anymore I just feel like I'm inconveniencing people by being around#I can't sleep without taking melatonin and even then it's hard to sleep and I'm just tired all the time#'Is this the way it will always be' indeed Luke#I'm serious when I say I think I have several undiagnosed mental illnesses only making things worse for me#but who needs therapy when we've got Luke's solo album and Taylor Swift right?#it's me. I know I do. when I can actually manage to find a job (soon please I really need/want 🤞) and can afford it I'll look into it#abby's just rambling don't mind her#abby's having a crisis#goddammit I don't have windows in my room that's what I meant how could I miss the word no 😭
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dreamiie4her · 3 months ago
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How i mastered the art of persisting & how yall can too
hello my luvs, lemme tell u, its been a rlly eventful last 2 weeks in terms of me undergo a drastic shift in my mindset and WHEWWWWW, i thought it was time to share with yall
storytime
this past year i told myself i would adopt a strict mental diet where i wouldn't let doubts stop me or anything and lemme tell you, it was such a rocky road. There would be periods of me affirming that i was a master shifter, seek validation from the 3D and then start dwelling in my old state again. This cycle of giving up continued until i came across these posts. I then deeped how i've been overcomplicating manifesting & shifting to the point where i would give up so easily on my new states because "persisting was too hard” when it rlly wasn't. Anyways, lemme share my favourite tips & advice i learnt.
THE ADVICE & TIPS
stop associating emotions w/ states
Once i stopped associating me doubting, being frustrated, etc with my state, i found stuff x10000 EASIER!! I be affirming when i'm sad/frustrated because my emotions do NAWT define me. If something happens in my life, i allow myself to acknowledge it then i affirm on loop that "everything gets better" and the very fact i am a master manifestor.
manifesting will exist whether u like it or not
whenever i feel like "giving up", i remember that no matter if i "give up" on my desires or not, the law of assumption will still operate in the same principle of dominant thoughts materialising ur reality. So that really made me think, why would i not take advantage of knowing about the loa and manifesting everything i want? Like once you find out about the law of assumption, there is no turning back so u might aswell utilise it.
you can never lose your "manifestation powers"
Sometimes i be having thoughts "what if i lose my manifestation powers" and its like?? i will always be able to manifest easily & so will you. You can never "lose" the ability to manifest. Its a LAW. Meaning you will always be able to do it
pick a staple affirmation & loop it no matter what
After utilising robotic affirming, i've felt so much more FULFILLED then i ever did. Trust me when i say, pick one affirmation (e.g. "i am a master shifter") and keep affirming through your doubts, random thoughts, etc. Litreally when you deep it, affirming is basically thinking and thinking is super duper easy. So picking one affirmation and continuously repeating it is so easy even when you feel like your having sm doubts (trust me, once u get in the habit of js affirming, things feel sm easier).
you don't need to believe to manifest
Before some of yall come at me, lemme tell yall something. When i got more serious about the loa this year, i overconsumed a sh!t ton of loa content stating in order to manifest your desires and it made me feel so frustrated whenever i felt doubts/overwhelmed when affirming for my desire. The belief bit will follow natrually while persisting, dont focus on beliving in ur manifestation, keep repeating you have it & your belief of it will feel more natrual as you keep repeating it (if that makes sense)
the 3D isn't the end, keep persisting
I made a post about this but to keep it short & simple, your 3D circumstances aren't permanent. Just because you may be experiencing the opposite of what you want in the 3D, doesn't mean it will stay like that forever and your manifestation "won't work". Keep affirming bb <3
okie that's it for the post <3 i'll probs make a pt2 if i got anymore advice?? but hope yall liked it ;3
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arminsumi · 9 months ago
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🔞 𝐀𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 | 𝟏𝟖+
𝐓𝐨-𝐁𝐞 𝐄𝐱-𝐇𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 | 𝟐
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<- 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯.
𝟑.𝟔𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 / 𝟕 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : fem reader / Gojo Satoru / (Geto Suguru)
𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 : your ex-boyfriend claims he isn't a playboy anymore, but is he being genuine? Another date with him leaves you a mess, and you end up asking his best friend out for coffee.
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : angst, pining, drama, smut (cr**mpies, light degradation, name calling (sl*t and wh*re), c*nnilingus, bl*wjob in the backseat/risky), implied sexual relationship with Suguru
𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐦𝐞 : Heaven and Back | Often | Wine Pon You | New Rules
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You walk out of your bedroom gussied up, lips painted in a very specific shade of red.
And Shoko, laid on the couch tiredly, gapes in disbelief at you.
"Oh my god." she groans, "Please don't tell me you're going on another date with that playboy."
You act dumb, nervously touching your neck as you style your hair in the mirror some more.
"What?"
"You're wearing the Gojo Satoru lipstick."
You continue acting, "This isn't the 'Gojo Satoru' lipstick, I love this lipstick! I always wear this shade!"
She looks at you, dumbfounded by your acting, nearly laughing.
"No, that's the Gojo Satoru lipstick. I can distinctly recall his words; "That's my baby's lipstick on me." and how you giggled on his shoulder."
"Shoko, that was five years ago." you say, "It's fine. I promised him only one more date. He needs closure."
"He's had five years of closure." Shoko replies, "Angel, you're too good for him."
"He's changed!" you insist.
"No, he hasn't; I saw that look in his eyes when I saw you two on the couch. He's still a playboy, and he'll prove it to you soon enough." she says.
"I have faith in him." you say.
"How many times have I heard that?" she shakes her head, getting ready to have a smoke. "You know, Gojo Satoru has always gotten what he wants. That's why he's so fascinated by the new you; you're not giving yourself to him like you did back then."
"I have faith in him!" you emphasize. "God, just tell me I look good."
"..."
"Please. I'm nervous. He's high-class, you know. I feel like I'm going on a date with the president of the world."
Shoko sighs and heads towards the balcony to smoke.
"You look too good." she says earnestly. "He was right about that shade of lipstick on you."
Her compliment makes you light up significantly.
You fuss as you wait. Since Shoko asks, you tell her; "He ordered for someone to chauffeur me."
"Oh my god." she groans, "He's really buttering you up."
"But isn't it such a gentleman move!"
"... more like a rich boy flex." she mutters under her breath, stubbing out the end of her cigarette.
"Okay. I've got to go. See you later... um, unless I overnight by him, of course." you giggle dreamily.
"Condoms." Shoko says simply.
"He's got some."
"Bring your own, always."
"But I'm on birth control, and we've already — " you begin.
Shoko cuts you off, "I know, but have you ever heard about the whole "creampies make you fall in love" thing?"
"What?" you look dumbly. "Isn't that a myth?"
"No. Coming inside is affectionate. You're going to feel connected to him and then he'll dip when you become "too serious" for him. Just keep him at bay."
You give her advice consideration, and nod. "Okay, alright. I won't let him do it inside."
*****
While being chauffeured, you rehearse in your head how to greet your ex-boyfriend — but it doesn't help, because as soon as you're actually in his presence again, your mind goes blank and you start nervously touching at your neck and giggling to cope with his charm.
From the moment Satoru takes your hand and leads you into the restaurant, you feel like a VIP. It's such a familiar feeling; in your early twenties, when you and him dated, he showed you what it meant to be really rich.
And he was excited to shower you in lavish treatment, he loved to see you decorated in his diamonds and to see your bright smile on foreign beaches.
The effect he has on you is even noticed by the waiter, who tends to your secluded table on the rooftop. You and Satoru feel like you're in your own bubble.
"I'm serious." he says honestly, looking into your eyes.
"... you break my heart, then disappear for five years, and then come back asking for marriage." you shake your head, "Doesn't that sound insane to you? Can't you understand why I'm rejecting you?"
"I've changed."
You hum skeptically.
"Really." he tilts his head, he flicks his brow giving his expression that sad little look that really sells it for you.
"If we got married, how long would it last?"
"What do you mean? We'd be wed 'till we're dead." he grins.
You shake your head and smile at him, poking at your plate. A long silence passes.
"... let me think about it."
"... okay." his spirits lift. "But don't make me wait too long; I'm impatient." he teases.
"Too bad. I'm gonna take my time." you sass, biting a piece of meat off your fork to make a statement.
He grins at you.
*****
Food all eaten, dessert long gone. The night air feels good. Not like old times, but new times with an old lover. He knows he messed up, right? So why hasn't he apologized yet? Maybe, you theorize to yourself to justify him, maybe he's still thinking up an apology.
He stares at you from across the table, eyes hungry like a starved wolf.
"You look so good tonight." he says for the third time.
You giggle in response, "Stop..."
"I swear that shade of lipstick looks familiar." he teases, leaning over the table.
You can smell his cologne, and it entrances your heart.
"... is it?" you ask softly, pretending like you don't know what he's talking about.
He knows you're pretending, he thinks it's cute.
"You think it would look good on me too?" he asks.
You shrug like a ditzy princess, "I dunno. Wanna find out...?"
He's so quick to call the waiter for the bill, like there's a pressing issue that needs his attention.
But the only pressing issue is his hard-on pressing hot against his thigh.
*****
Giving his cock all your attention in the backseat of the car, Satoru forces his moans down so that his poor chauffeur doesn't hear through the screen divider.
You stifle a slurping sound, sliding off the tip of his cock slowly, and it makes him shudder hard. He closes his eyes, like that helps any, and tries to keep from cumming in your mouth right there.
Gojo knows your lipstick stains are going all over his cock, it drives him crazy.
Before he cums, you pull off and he mutters a small "Just you wait..." under his breath that makes you smile wide.
****
Kissy marks lead up his abs. Of course, he wants to take a photo — to preserve the memory.
"Hand here, baby. Good girl." he instructs, and in his voice right then you can hear how mature he is now, in comparison to the squeakier voice he had when you two first met.
He's not a boy anymore, he's a man. But very far from being your man, which he's trying to change.
"Lay back." he murmurs. "Spread your legs. Wider. Good girl."
Without saying a thing about it, he noses in between your thighs and shows you heaven is real, and it exists on Gojo Satoru's tongue.
"Fuck!" you clamp your thighs around his head, making him hum while sliding his tongue inside.
When you two first dated, he wasn't inexperienced — but he didn't quite know how to eat a woman out.
Five years is a long time to practice, and he definitely did. You can feel his sloped nose nudging against your clit as he kisses and sucks, sometimes nibbling softly with his teeth at your puffy lips.
Making you cum on his tongue is almost too easy for Satoru, he nearly laughs as he pulls away and licks your slick off his lips. He thinks it's a pity that he's at the wrong angle to see your eyes rolling back. But at least he sees how you throw your head back for him, and how you sound for him — like a cat, he loves it.
"Nice and messy for me now, huh?" he hums, connecting his body with yours as he crawls upwards and devours your lips.
"Mhm!" you whine, still unsteady from your orgasm, breathing frantically. "Satoru, I need you in me right now."
"Aw, but I was gonna — "
"Nowww!" you beg.
He sighs, "Can't say no to that face."
You watch intently, licking your lips, as he whips his belt off and takes his cock out. It's red from the tip down to the middle, where that familiar thick vein always catches your attention.
By your request, even though it confuses him, he squeezes his cock into a condom.
"What do you need, baby?" he asks, lowering his cock onto your pussy and rubbing it between your slicked lips.
You squeal as he flicks at your clit, then pinches your folds around his cock, making you realize his size in comparison to little you.
"I need you."
"Need me how?"
"Satoru!" you hiss annoyedly.
"I don't want to have to tease you, baby just say it."
"I want your cock inside me."
"Not nearly slutty enough." he shakes his head, drawing his cock back and forth, rubbing over your soft pussy. "You said to me in the car that you were a total, fucking slut for me, didn't you say that? Or am I imagining things?"
You start babbling, "Yeah! I'm a slut for you, I want it so bad!" you whine, "C'mon fuck me stupid!"
"That's better." he grins.
Just like how he always does, he presses his tip inside you so politely but then pushes it in too deep, making you curl like you're about to cum.
Satoru's not one to go slow for long, he'd rather pound into you hard and fast right away, to bring out that slut in you as quick as he can. Because right now, you're not nearly slutty enough for him, as he said — and he needs to see that side of you.
"Baby, get loud for me, come on." he grunts, shoving himself as deep as he can, reaching the spot that you know isn't the G-spot or your cervix, but something in-between.
"Fuck!" you almost cry, "That's so good, fuck me harder please!"
He grins, cheeky fangs on display, and goes harder until you can hardly handle it. You don't care if it hurts just a little bit, because you want to know that every inch of your ex's cock is inside you. Not just eight, eight and a half — honestly, he doesn't know where you put all of that, but he delights in watching it disappear into your hole.
"Look at you." he purrs, "How deep are you trying to suck me?"
It feels like he's going to split you in two. Sweat pours out of the both of you, bodies getting slippery.
As Satoru continues pumping his cock back and forth, in and out of you, he starts furrowing his brows together in focus — playful edge dulling as it always does when it feels good good.
"That's it, you fucking take it." he grunts, "Good girl, you're a good little slut for me huh?"
"Yeahhh I'm a good little slut for you!"
"Let me take the condom off, baby."
You know you're gonna hear it from Shoko if she knows, but in the moment you're too drunk on sex to care, and even reach back to strip the condom off your ex's cock yourself as he watches with a smirk.
"Good girl. Now flip on your side, like this." he instructs.
He slides back inside slowly, filling you inch by inch with a low groan — like he's falling in love.
And the sounds he makes as his orgasm builds up make you want to cum again, too. Each time he hits that strange spot between your G-spot and cervix, your visions sparks a little.
Hard strokes tip you over, and you lay there letting Satoru degrade you and call you a filthy slut. You'd be his anything as long as it felt this good.
"I'm so close." he warns, trying to savor the buildup.
"Cum inside me." you mewl, "Please."
"Yeahhh I'm gonna — fuck. Take my cum, be a good girl."
The broken moan he lets out as he creampies you is almost obscene. Satoru slows his thrusts as he shoots everything he has into you.
His jaw slacks, and he groans, "... prettiest little slut, aren't you? So filthy and pretty."
"I'm gonna cum againnn..." you whine, reaching down to rub frantically on your sensitive clit.
He watches you through the haze of his post-orgasm, slowly grinding his cock inside to get you there.
"Good girl."
"C-call me a slut again, please."
He laughs naughtily, "Fucking slut. Come on, finish on me. Make that cute face again, 'cute lil' whore."
Satoru always surprises you during sex in some way, this time you're surprised when he caresses your cheek as you cum. You shake and spasm, feeling each shock of your orgasm.
Panting and coming down from your high, Satoru cracks a smile.
"You were so loud." he laughs.
Reality hits you, "Oh my god, I didn't know I liked being called a slut so much!" you cover your face embarrassedly.
He rings out with laughter.
*****
After sex. What happens after sex? He's a gentleman, and that makes you tear up — not because he's a gentleman, but because he never used to be quite like this.
No, he never used to be quite like this. Even kissing you afterwards? Why was it, you wonder, that back then he couldn't love you as deeply as now, when you needed it most?
"What's wrong?" he asks.
You try to stop your crying, but it gets worse.
"Satoru." you say, sniffling, eyes pointed downwards, "I know it's been five years, but I'm still hurt."
He doesn't reply. Just awkwardly wrings his hands and sits at the edge of the bed, soft duvet covering his lap.
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't really help."
"Then what can I do?"
"I don't know." you sniffle, "Go back in time and love me. You know, I needed your love back then more than I do now." you admit to both him and yourself.
Satoru purses his lips, thinking before he speaks — but then he ends up not replying at all.
Instead, he goes to wipe your tears. Something he always did towards the end of your relationship, because you were always crying.
"I should go home."
He jolts a little. "Oh. I thought you were gonna stay the night?" he croaks. Inside, he's dreading sleeping alone again.
"No." you shake your head. "I've got to stop fooling myself. We're not getting back together, you're not more than a playboy, we're not getting married — and sex with you is better than with anyone else, but a relationship can't bank on that, Satoru."
"I'm being genuine. I told you earlier that I was."
"How can I trust you?" you ask.
"Playboys don't propose marriage." he replies.
"But you're just joking about that!"
"I'm not!" he stresses, "The last time you loved me, I was just a boy. I'm a man now and I know what I want." he says roughly.
You both go silent. Then he starts speaking again, voice softer than before.
"I love you more every time I see you."
You don't say anything back. He looks stricken and confused.
"I'm gonna go." you say.
He purses his lips tightly, looking frustrated that he can't get through to you.
"I'll take you home." he says quietly.
*****
Shoko is just digging around in the freezer for therapeutic ice cream when you come into the entry way.
"You look dreadful."
"Thanks."
"Bad date?"
"The worst..."
"Still love him?"
"... yeah."
"Marriage?"
"I'm in love, not stupid." you reply.
Shoko chuckles. "Come on. Let's catch up on that series. I'm not on-call." she cheers for herself. "We can binge the whole thing."
"Shoko, where would I be without you?" you sigh appreciatively, flopping on the couch next to her, mascara smudged off and all.
"Staying the night with a playboy, probably."
"Can't argue that." you sigh, "Shoko, I'm so dumb for him, what do I do?"
"Wait. Strike at the right moment."
"I'm not a cobra."
"Buy a cobra. Let it loose on him."
"Your humor is so dark, Shoko. I love you."
"Love you more."
*****
Meanwhile, Satoru is with Suguru; who is listening to his sulking best friend.
"I'm so dumb for her. What do I do?" he groans, "Shoko's probably poisoning her against me as we speak."
Suguru thinks deeply. "Shoko..."
"I know!" Satoru nearly starts crying again. He's being so dramatic, it's hard to take him seriously. But Satoru almost never cries. So Suguru seriously thinks about solutions to his problems.
"Shoko!" Suguru realizes.
"I knowww!"
"No, Satoru, Shoko!" Suguru emphasizes, like he's just made a breakthrough, "Shoko is the answer to all your problems!"
"Ew. I'd never date Shoko."
"You're so dense. I'm not suggesting that. Shoko's her best friend, and she listens to whatever she says, like you listen to me."
"You have a point... I'm listening."
"See?" Suguru chuckles, "Now, here's what I think you should do..."
*****
"You want me to talk to Suguru?" you shake your head. "How would that help?"
"He's his best friend. If you want to find out if Satoru's no-good, you go to the best friend."
"Suguru would rather die than expose Satoru. They're not like regular best friends, they're soulmate best friends." you say, nervously touching at your neck.
Shoko shakes her head. "Are you scared to talk to Suguru or something? What actually happened between you two back then? You never told me."
You go silent and wide-eyed. Shoko's jaw drops open.
"No way. Holy shit. Oh my god. You and him...?!"
"... it was just once."
"Holy shit! Was this before, after or during you and Satoru together?"
"I'm loyal as a dog! It was after... I was feeling, um, revengeful, and Suguru was feeling lonely one night... so..."
"Suguru actually did that?! Did Satoru find out?"
"We promised to never talk about it again. You know... Suguru was so nice about it. I remember he laid me down and said "Don't worry, just cum on my tongue" or something. Ugh, he was so hot. He fucked the life out of me — I could barely fucking see straight after."
"Too much information!" Shoko plugs her ears.
You look up at the ceiling dreamily. "He's thicker than Satoru."
"My best friend is a slut!" Shoko cries.
"I am!" you cry back dramatically.
The two of you burst out laughing wickedly.
"To sluts!" Shoko toasts with an ice cream spoon.
You toast with her, "To sluts! The sluttier the better!"
"Are you gonna talk to Suguru, then? Or are you scared of your inner slut coming out?" Shoko asks.
"I'll do it. It'll be fine. I'm sure Suguru doesn't look as good in real life as he does in photos..." you reply.
You exchange a look with her. Immediately, the two of you stalk Suguru's social medias and —
"Seriously? Who doesn't have a single social in this day and age?!" You curse, only finding photos of Suguru with Satoru.
"That's just like him."
"Maybe he has a Linkedin."
"You're desperate."
"Yeah!"
"Wait, here's something...?"
You investigate further.
"It's private?!"
Shoko bursts out laughing with ice cream melting on her tongue.
"Comedy!"
"This is seriously annoying. I'm gonna friend him." you say.
Shoko looks at you. You look at Shoko.
"You wouldn't."
"I would."
"You're CRAZY."
"I am!"
"Let me watch, let me watch."
"Okay. I'm doing it."
*****
Satoru is mixing another over-sweetened, non-alcoholic cocktail to be sipped on as if he's drinking his sorrows away.
And Suguru? He's laying on the couch, ghosting social medias that he has no account with, happily enjoying a video of traditional cuisine when suddenly he sees the most outrageous, random, and bizarre notification from his mostly-dead private account.
He makes a suspicious side-eye, thinking it can't be real.
Friend request from @ 𝐘𝐍
@ 𝐘𝐍 wants to send you a message.
@ 𝐘𝐍 hey suguru 😊
"What the fuck." he whispers under his breath, blushing in a panicked kind of way.
Immediately, hot memories of you flood his mind. He sits more upright on the couch, glances nervously to check what Satoru was doing, then looks at your message again.
His heart races.
*****
"This is stupid. He's gonna leave me on read."
"Yeah. I forgot Suguru was notorious for that." Shoko sighs. "Operation: Suguru is a failure, then?"
"Yeah."
You set your phone down and continue binge watching a whole season of a trashy series on Netflix.
Your phone vibrates thirty minutes later. You check it without thinking, then scream so loud it startles Shoko right out of her zen-like Netflix mood.
"NO WAY."
"Is it him? What did he say?"
"He said 'hey'. He's online."
"Well say something!"
You panic, "What do I say?"
"Ask him for coffee! In a non-romantic way!"
"Okay."
wanna go for coffee sometime?
@ 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐢𝐞 is this about satoru or us?
it's about satoru
@ 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐢𝐞 riiight
i'm serious 😠
@ 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐢𝐞 because i wouldn't mind if it's about us
"WHAT." you scream with Shoko.
"REPLY TO HIM."
"I DON'T KNOW HOW."
"GIVE ME YOUR PHONE."
Shoko clacks her nails against the screen viciously, replying to him as you watch her type.
"That doesn't sound like I wrote it."
"Well sorry for being grammatically correct."
"Make it sound sillier."
"There."
Shoko sends it. You watch and wait with bated breath, ignoring the climactic scene on the TV because Suguru Geto was far more attention-grabbing.
"Oh my god." you clap your hand over your mouth. "Is that sexual? Is he being sexual?"
"I have no idea, Suguru's an enigma."
"Do you think Satoru is sitting with him? Are they playing us?"
Shoko shrugs. "I don't know, but I'd read that message if I were you."
You look back to your phone.
@ 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐢𝐞 sooo coffee where and when?
"SHOKO WHAT DO I DO."
"I don't know."
"SHOKO."
"I DON'T KNOW. I'M STUNNED."
"ME TOO."
"I bet Satoru is cackling next to Suguru right now."
"I bet not. Listen to how sultry he is! That's three o's in there!"
Shoko thinks. "Yeah, but Suguru is always sultry. I think they're pulling a joke on us."
*****
Satoru is dozing off while his best friend texts you. Suguru's not resisting his smirk; it's plastered on his face.
@ 𝐘𝐍 tomorrow? 2pm sound ok? 🙈
@ 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐢𝐞 sounds perfect.
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© 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢
𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞.
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starlight--writings · 3 months ago
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Oops - Part Two
Max Verstappen x Female!Vettel!Reader
Summary: Max and Y/N had their relationship outed online and Y/N has been facing some serious backlash. However, Y/N is mainly unphased and proudly posts pictures of her boyfriends while trying to keep her protective father and boyfriend clam. She also gives Lando the green light to post all of the pictures he has of them together. Part One
Warnings: Swearing, people being rude.
A/N: Y/N is adopted, set in 2019/2020, no covid au bc ew no. Face claim is Sabrina Carpenter and the side/back of Kelly Piquet’s head.
DISCLAIMER: I do not know any if the people in this work of fiction. This is purely created for entertainment purposes only!
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F1_news
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Liked by 3.1 million people
BREAKING! New released picture confirms the rumours about a relationship between Max Verstappen and Y/N Vettel.
Comments
Fanaccount1 Great another spoiled stay at home girlfriend 🙄
Fan_account2 Does she even have a job???
Fanaccount_3xo Good for her!!
Fanaccount4 He's 3 years older than her, how is even this allowed?
Fanaccount_55 Gold digger!!
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Y/N_vettel5 posted to their story
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Y/N_vettel5
📍Oxford University, Oxford
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Liked by 12,575 people
The study life stops for nothing ☕
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Maxverstappen33
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Liked by 45,723 people
Since our relationship is public information I thought I would share these pictures of my girlfriend. Y/N is by far the kindest and sweetest person on the planet and I love her. She laughs at all of my jokes and does the most to make me happy. I am proud to call her my girlfriend.
The things that people are saying about her and our relationship is honesty disgusting. Just because I am well known due to my job does not mean that you can publicly talk about my relationship. Anymore horrid comments will not be tolerated.
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Y/N_vettel5
📍Oxford University, Oxford
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Liked by 34.794 people
I have known Max for a few years now after spending my school breaks with my papa at the races. We hit is off quite well after spending a lot of 2017/2018 running from the Drive To Survive filming. Since then we grew very close.
He is absolutely the love of my life and the greatest person I know. He has supported me through everything and he is my absolute best friend. He visits me at uni during breaks and always makes an effort for me. And now I can finally share some of my favourite pictures of him.
Ps: Yes, I am definitely the most insufferable person in my uni hall. On the upside, I'm always invited to the Sunday race lunches with the guys 😂😂
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Landonorris
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Liked by 37,362 people
Despite everything that has been said surrounding their relationship, Y/N has told me that I could make a post. I'm so glad I can finally share these. Be hold, Mad Max being a softie for his girlfriend! I'm so happy for you guys and I'm glad you don't have to sneak around anymore.
Ps: Rude/mean comments will not be tolerated. Their relationship is nothing to do with anyone but them.
Comments
Y/N_vettel5 I can't believe 2/3 of these pics are of me and Max kissing!
Maxverstappen33 At least we aren't drunk in these ones
Landonorris I forgot about those photos 😈
Y/N _vettel5 Oh sweet Jesus
Danielricardo Ah so the rumours are true! So glad you got a girl Max.
Maxverstappen33 Thanks mate!
Sebastianvettel These are lovely pictures landonorris
Fanaccount At least Lando isn't afraid to have his comments on unlike the 'happy couple'
Fan_account_6 This is PR relationships at their finest!!!!
Charles_leclerc Now Y/N has someone else to steal hats and jackets from now.
Sebastianvettel I still feel like I won't be getting some things back.
Y/N_vettel I have no idea what you are talking about😁
Lewishamilton So happy for you guys!
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yuri-is-online · 4 months ago
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I'm curious about the first years' reaction to why can't I be your spouse.
I think it'd be hilarious
part one/part 2
A ha yes, hilarious. I am so sorry.
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"Why couldn't I be your spouse?"
Ace is struck mute. The blush starts at the tips of his ears, spreads across his face, and down across his neck. Because you don't want him. That's the reason right? He's your best friend. You're his. That's your dynamic. It keeps you both safe from any complications or unnecessary feelings but god if you're just going to look up at him and bat your eyes trying to hold back tears at the thought of not being his? "Jeez, we're still in school you know? Ask again later." You won't get a chance to do that, Ace wants to be the one to ask. You deserve that much from him with how much he teases you, or so he says.
There are two ways I can see this question going with Deuce. He's oblivious to the nature of his own feelings: "Because you are meant to get married to someone you love?" He's overwhelmed with distress when you start to cry at his words, but he doesn't understand the source of the pain. Love is a heavy word, and sure he does love you, your best buds! But marriage is extremely serious and sure he's had dreams about you guys living together and stuff like that but he's sure that's just a friendship thing. Not that he ever dreams about doing that with Ace...
If he does know he's in love with you that little question will make Deuce start panicking because of how expensive weddings are. He will be very happy for you to be his spouse, just give him some time please <3
"Because you're not staying." Jack has accepted you are the one he's been waiting for, but he's never verbalized it until now. He's a bit disappointed if he's honest, not with who you are but with the circumstances under which you've met. He modeled his dreams of what his spouse would be like off of his parents and grandparents, he would love you and you would love him. You would be together forever and build a little life together. But you are from a different world and will have to go home some day, he doesn't get to keep you and he doesn't have the option of getting over you. His only option is to deny that he wants you as his spouse until his soul prevents him from doing it anymore, no matter how happy hearing you ask to be his make him feel.
Epel is happy to hear you say that, but it's a bittersweet happiness. Epel wants you to be saying that because you think he's cool. Because you think of him as a manly man who you can rely on to provide for you and keep you safe from all of the monsters you've faced so far. But he knows you pretty well at this point, he doesn't think that you rely on him because you think he's cool. Maybe that's a goods thing though, you've never been judgemental of who he is even if the words you use to describe him aren't the exact ones he wants just yet. That doesn't mean "spouse" isn't how he wants to describe you, and he's not shy of letting you know that. Just this once.
Sebek doesn't answer at first. He doesn't yell either, nor does there appear to be a gathering storm on his face. He looks despondent, not the look you would want on the face of someone when you start talking about getting married. "Because I have treated you in a truly abominable manner most unfitting of my rank based on a prejudiced view of your character." Anyone who looks at him can see that he's in love, that he has no objection to you being his spouse. But he can't have that, he's unworthy. Not that you wants you to take this personally, he is used to being inadequate. Just let him savor the happiness he felt from hearing you say you wanted to be his in the first place. It is more than he deserves for how cruel he has been to you.
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totalswag · 1 year ago
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how much did you drink? — RAFE CAMERON
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authors note hi loves!! i know i disappeared for awhile, my personal life got extremely busy and i never had time to write on my computer. i'm so excited to be back and writing for you guys though. this fic has been in my google doc for small minute and i got a request from an anon somewhat similar to this fic too, lol.
summary y/n getting a little too drunk at a party and rafe has to come pick her up
warnings drinking, swearing, smoking, sexual tension, implied smut?
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Lets face it, you were drunk, like really drunk.
You made the decision to come out on a Saturday night with Sarah to John B’s. People dancing, making out everywhere, smoking, drinking, along with loud music.
As the night progressed you were on the table dancing with your best friend with bottles of tequila in your hands, everyone cheering you two on as you continued dancing.
“I’m having so much fun tonight” your words are slurring at this point. 
“Me too,” your friend giggled.
Topper and Kelce shook their heads while they stood near the kitchen. Rafe, your boyfriend, told Topper and Kelce to watch you simply because he wasn't at the party.
“She's about to do something dumb” Topper murmurs, and Kelce nods in agreement.
Kelce replies, "I think it's time we called Rafe."
Topper calls Rafe, while Kelce tries to get you off the table but fails when you say no and to go away so you can drink more. Kelce turns around, sending Topper the clear message that Rafe needs to arrive as quickly as possible.
"Yo, Rafe, sorry for bothering you, but Y/N is really drunk and dancing on the table, and she won't listen to us" Topper scratched his chin, glancing at Kelce, who was attempting to get you off the table.
"Are you being serious?" Rafe must have been in a deep sleep based on the sound of his voice. 
"Yeah, could you pick her up?" He begs.
Topper can hear Rafe's end shifting, "I'll be there soon, just keep an eye on here, please." Rafe sighs and hangs up the phone. 
Meanwhile, Topper and Kelce were eventually able to get you off the table by claiming a drinking game was about to begin, which was correct. You stood in the kitchen with the guys and few other friends watching while others set out the red solo cups on the board.
Your friends came into the kitchen to see what you were doing and they were worried about you because they couldn’t find you.
"These two have me on lock down so I don't drink anymore but oddly waiting to play a drinking game," you add, staring at the girls before wandering your gaze over to Kelce and Topper, who are in the middle of a conversation with a few of their buddies.
Your friends laugh, shaking their heads, telling you, you should still be drinking and having fun.
"I'm so drunk right now, it's not even funny," you hiccuped as your body swayed back and forth, almost knocking you off your feet.
Topper leaned over the counter, grabbing you before you fell.
"Y/N, please drink the water," he says as he puts the water bottle out to you, you look at him, shaking your head as you push it away with your hand.
"Drink the water now, Y/N, we're going home," your boyfriend said, filling your ears. You circle around, placing your arms around his waist, excited. 
"You guys are no fun," you scoff.
"That hangover isn't going to be fun in the morning," Rafe responds. 
“How much did you drink baby?” he asks, lifting your chin up, making eye contact with you.
“I drank a lot and smoked too” you answered truthly, hiccuping.
"You are so hot, I could just fu-" you run your hands down his stomach, removing his shirt a little and gliding your hands on his exposed skin. Rafe stopped you before you could complete your sentence.
Usually when you drink too much and Rafe’s around you get very touchy with him and start saying unholy words from your mouth which leads to fucking or you need to really sober up. You can’t stop but think of how good he looks right now.
Rafe comes to these types of parties with you but tonight he wasn’t feeling it. He trusts you going to parties with your friends or the guys cause he knows you would never do anything that can hurt your relationship.
"All right, that's enough for the night. "Seriously, drink the water," he says, twisting the cap and handing you the water to sip. You realized nothing else would work, so you drank the water.
Rafe watched as you drank the water. When you get this drunk no one else can handle you unless it’s Rafe because he’s been around you enough to know. Your best friends get drunk with you so them being drunk trying to help you too doesn’t make the situation better.
When you finished the water, you wrapped your arms around Rafe, nuzzling your face in his chest mumbling words. He took it as a sign that you were ready to leave the party.
“We’ll walk you two out” Topper suggested to Rafe.
“Yeah that would be helpful, thank you” picking you up in braid style.
You lifted your head from Rafe's chest, confused as to why he began guiding you from the kitchen to the front door. "Why are we leaving?" you asked as you pulled away. "I want to stay," you protest, pointing back to your friends. 
Rafe sighs, closing his eyes, "baby you are drunk and have been drinking a lot" he pauses, "you need to rest too" you pout.
“Say goodnight to them real quick,”
When you walk back to the kitchen your friends eye’s light up but faces drop when you tell them you were saying goodnight. They told you to be safe and see you tomorrow.
“I better get dick out of this” you sarcastically state, making the girls laugh.
“I love you girls” you wave as you leave the kitchen.
You flip Rafe off as you walk past him, giving him a blank stare. He throws his hands in the air, shaking his head, then follows you out the door.
The car ride to his house took five minutes. You were knocked out in the passenger seat curled up in a ball. You woke up when you felt the truck come to a complete stop. Rafe opened the door, carrying you inside.
You start singing a song from the party when you enter the Cameron household. Rafe chuckled as he locked the door then came behind you.
“You need to stay quiet because everyone's sleeping,” Rafe whispered softly.
“Oh my bad” you quickly stop, putting your hand over your mouth.
He lays you on his bed and goes in his closet for clothes for you. He comes back with sweats and one of your favorite t-shirts of his. Before you could lift your shirt, he stopped you.
“Let me do it please” he kisses your cheek.
He led you into the bathroom to remove your makeup and then dab water on your face to freshen it up before taking you into bed. When you spent the night, there was Advil and ice water on your side of the bed. 
Rafe could tell you were still drunk by your facial expressions.
In your drunken state, seeing the Advil and water on the nightstand warms your heart, "Thank you baby," you look up, then pop the Advil in your mouth and take a long sip of the water. 
"Need to make sure my girl is okay," he grins.
"How about we get into bed and sleep?" He then pulls you both into bed.
You quickly close your eyes when your head makes contact with his chest.
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my taglist 🧚🏼‍♀️
if you would like to be added to my taglist let me know!!
@runningfrom2am @winterrrnight @brooklynscherry-z @kaydsr3venge
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imtrying-ok · 7 months ago
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I'm from a family where women are in charge of most things, finances, the house, bills getting paid on time, important administrative and historical documents and papers, family heirlooms (men are so dumb, they can't be trusted with that stuff!), the children. In my subconscious mind, women work harder. Women go to work everyday and men are just lazy slobs. All men are good for is a (smaller, obviously) supplementary income, having kids with, maybe cooking, and only sometimes emotional companionship. (I am serious - this has been said to me in different ways by multiple family members, from my mom to my great grandmother)
I was told I was so lucky to be born a girl, because I get to join this long line of women. That they were so lucky I was born a girl so they had someone to continue a legacy with. That they could dream of never loving a boy the same way. That they could never let a man continue this legacy, he's too dumb! He'd lose everything. He wouldn't care about the legacy, obviously. He'd just ruin it like all men do. They're so glad I'm around, I'll inherit everything and take great care of it.
I wanted to wear a suit to my father's wedding and they were scared. They heard me going by my gender neutral last name instead of my feminine first name (inherited from my greatx5 grandmother no less) and they hated it. "Don't you want to be a girl?" But I know what they really meant was "don't you want to be what I think you should be?" Then my grandmother talks about how she's scared she won't have anyone to inherit her house, her things, the pieces of history she takes care of (a piece of the Berlin wall, an old German family Bible, my family's passports from the 1800s, a handwoven tapestry, etc... "old country" stuff that every European immigrant family has laying around for some reason. But that's for another post.)
I know why it apparently can't go to me anymore. I've been 'tainted'. My beautiful feminine qualities have been pushed out by my desire to be a handsome untrustworthy kind violent man (they can't even call me that) other . They could handle if I was a lesbian, it was only logical to like other women, and my mother dated women as often as she dated men throughout my life. They could handle if I didn't want kids, in fact, I was told explicitly to not have them in the past (thanks grandma), they can betray you and leave you heartbroken (thanks mom). They couldn't handle me being a man.
There is some kind of inherent quality of being a man that makes you bad. And I was choosing to betray them and myself.
Needless to say, I don't feel very comfortable in trans or feminist spaces.
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judesprincess · 4 months ago
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fuffly alphabet – Jude Bellingham
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note: hii babes, how are you? here im again hehe. an anon asked me for a fuffly alphabet so here it is... just remembering that English is not my first language, so please ignore the grammar and spelling mistakes... also, please let me know if you like it or not! kisses 💋
just a reminder that this is just imaginary and i don't know jude bellingham so i don't know what he's really like
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a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)
you see, jude is without a doubt an affectionate man, but for me (I might be crazy), he might have a little trouble showing it (at the beginning of the relationship); I feel like it's harder for him to show affection romantically than when it comes to family/friends
but of course, have no doubt that as your relationship progresses, that man will have no qualms about showing how affectionate he can be at all times
b = best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)
it would definitely be something jude would appreciate a lot. Being an extremely famous soccer player has its advantages, but at the same time it brings with it a lot of self-interested people who don't really care about him and just want fame. So when he realizes that you're not one of those people and that you really want to get to know Jude the person and not "Jude Bellingham," it will certainly be something fantastic for him and he will be very happy because he also wants to get to know you and he wants you to get to know him as he really is. Obviously, at first he wouldn't open up right away. When I think of Jude, I imagine a very smart and even suspicious man, someone who is not easy to impress or figure out, so I imagine it would be something gradual. He would let you in little by little and that would make everything more real and interesting.
c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)
he certainly loves giving and receiving affection, especially when he is intimate with the person; he's clearly someone who grew up in a structured family and who always provided him with affection and love, so I think he has no problem showing it to someone he cares about/loves
d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)
jude is a young man who clearly likes to hang out and have fun, but I feel like he would definitely become more domestic with you (which is what I would want if I were with him, since I hate going out) and would definitely love to spend a lot of quality time with you, whether it's watching a movie or talking or even enjoying some good food
as for housework, to be honest, I don't think he's very good at it lol and he definitely doesn't know how to cook, as he himself has said (we would go hungry because I'm not a good cook either); I think you could have a little work with him in that aspect, but with time he would get the hang of it, as you teach him (and push him a little too lol)
e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
he would definitely do it in a direct and honest way, as painful as it may be; I can't imagine him procrastinating or trying to smooth things over. if you broke up because it wasn't working out anymore or because you didn't have feelings, he would handle it better, but if it was because of lack of time or any other reason that forced you to break up, I don't think he would know how to handle it very well (even if he had been the one to break up)
f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quickly would they want to get married?)
i don't think jude is against marriage, but i think he certainly doesn't think about it right now. he's clearly 100% focused on his growing career and enjoying his youth so even if he was completely in love i don't imagine he would think about a commitment to the level of marriage; at most, a serious relationship
g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
he is visibly a very gentleman, although I think he has his moments – like everyone else – of being in a bad mood or rude
when we talk about the emotional aspect, I think he is a bit of a "stuck" man; I don't imagine him being someone who is easy to show emotionally
h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)
come on, it's no secret that this man loves hugs and if I'm sure of anything in this life it's that his hugs are wonderful. just watch the way he hugs people, strong and tight and so sincere. I feel that his hugs convey a great sense of security and protection and I imagine that is exactly what he wants you to feel when he hugs you; simply so comforting.
i = i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)
as sweet and caring as jude can be, I think he understands the weight and meaning of an "I love you" very well and he's definitely not saying it without really feeling it; I imagine it will take him a while to say it, since he wants to be sure that he really means it, but when he does say it, it will be extremely sincere and loud and clear
j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)
jude gives me very possessive vibes, as if he were saying "what's mine is mine and no one else's" and I feel like that would definitely fit you; he knows that you're not an object but a person with feelings and desires, but you're simply stronger than him. he would definitely hate to see you giving more attention to someone else — especially if it's a man — than him. at the end of the day, he wants you all and completely for himself
k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)
jude's kisses are definitely intense, that man exudes confidence and intensity; his kisses can't be any different. he will simply kiss you hungrily, but not in a hasty way, it will be intense and passionate as he grips your waist and presses you against some surface.
as for the places he likes to kiss you, I think he just wants to enjoy every part of you so he just explores everything he sees in front of him, leaving hot kisses on your neck, your bust and even your shoulders
when we talk about where he likes to be kissed, I quickly think of his neck, that man must get weak having you leaving tender kisses and little love bites on him while grabbing his muscles.
l = little ones (how are they around children?)
although he insists that he doesn't want kids, the way he is extremely affectionate and good with kids tells a different story. the way kids love him and get along with him is something that makes your uterus itch, and it also makes your imagination run wild imagining that man being the father of your babies; jude exudes daddy material
m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)
well, mornings with jude are hectic, unfortunately since he has training so he wakes up early and barely has time for anything other than getting changed and eating something. now when he has time off or is on vacation you will definitely spend more time in bed talking and having soft, lazy sex
n = night (how are nights spent with them?)
well, the schedule definitely varies a lot depending on his routine. On a non-game day, you'll go out to dinner together, sometimes at a nice restaurant (he once said he loves going out to restaurants) or, if he wants more privacy with you, he'll just ask his chef to prepare something. He loves talking to you and is definitely telling you every detail of his day and wants to hear every detail of yours too. Maybe you'll watch a movie together until a kiss here and there makes you take things to the bedroom. He definitely loves sleeping with you close to him.
on a game day, you'll watch him — if you don't have anything from school/work to do. I think his late-night schedule will depend a lot on the outcome (and his performance) of the game. If you win, he'll want to celebrate with you, but if you lose, he'll definitely be completely irritated and grumpy and you know you need to give him space to think a little.
o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
like I said, Jude doesn't seem like the kind of man who is easy to open up to emotionally in a romantic way so I think he only started opening up more and more after he gained a lot of trust; you would probably be the first to do it and he would notice how much you trust him and start doing the same — little by little.
p = patience (how easily angered are they?)
let's be honest, as loving and kind as he is, Jude clearly has a strong temper and gets angry easily; although, I think he controls himself quite well. from what we see and hear of him, we notice that he has a dominant personality (he tends to lead and control situations) and people like that usually hate to lose control of something and see that things don't go as they planned and when that happens they just explode first before solving what went wrong. in short, I think he's the kind of person who will explode when something goes wrong and get absolutely pissed off — and will definitely want to be alone — and then calm down and immediately act to solve the problem (I feel like he doesn't like to leave anything hanging, always wanting to solve everything)
q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
jude is a very observant man and has a good memory from what we can see (the way he remembers fans/people he saw a while ago). for me, he would definitely pay attention to every detail and remember them all, especially since it's about you
r = remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
since he has an extremely busy life, I think his favorite moments with you will be those that are just the two of you and that are extremely comfortable and intimate where you talk sincerely and lightly, with him being able to be himself without any fear
maybe your first time could also be a memory that he will keep very fondly; he feels that it was different from anything he had experienced up until then, since it wasn't not only superficial pleasure
s = security (How protective are they? How would they protect you?)
it is extremely obvious how protective Jude is of those he loves and cares about; he is definitely sparing no effort when it comes to seeing you protected and safe. I think he is the kind of guy who will always be keeping an eye on your social media to see what people are saying about you and will always be there to show you that the negative things they say about you are lies; I also imagine that he will definitely not like the idea of ​​you walking around alone. besides, he will always want to see you happy and comfortable
t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
you see, that is an English man, he definitely likes to show how important you are to him and he is definitely sparing no effort to do so; I don't even need to say that he's clearly not letting you pay for anything, even if you insist, and he's definitely not being frugal when it comes to buying you gifts, but hey, he doesn't just want to show off expensive gifts, he wants you to really like them and have an important meaning for you (and he definitely wants to be reminded every time you look at the gift he gave you)
u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)
i feel like he's messy (in terms of leaving things lying around the house) and lazy when it comes to helping with the housework; I also imagine him being stubborn and doing things his own way
v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)
there's not much to say when it's all there in front of our eyes; that man is extremely careful with his appearance. He knows he’s a handsome man and does everything he can to keep his appearance perfect. Furthermore, you can see that he’s extremely hygienic. You look at him and you realize how clean he looks and how nice he smells (many people who meet him talk about how delicious is his scent).
w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)
jude doesn’t seem like the kind of person who has an emotional dependence on someone; sure, he’s intense when he loves someone (especially his family), but not to the point where he can’t live without them. If you guys broke up or something like that, the emptiness would be there — obviously —, but it’s not like he’d stop living because of it. I also think he’d be proud to the point of hiding as much as possible how much he misses you, not wanting to show weakness.
y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
obviously, self-interested people who are only with him because want something in return; superficial people (who don't see him as he really is or who are extremely superficial); people who are rude or who try to humiliate/put others down (that man is very kind and polite and he will definitely want someone identical in that aspect); I also feel that he doesn't like people who do everything to expose their lives (on social media or etc.). Jude is a very reserved man who loves his privacy and that of his family and would definitely hate a partner who insists on posting and showing everything
z = zzz (what is a sleep habits of theirs?)
as he himself said in an interview, one of his favorite hobbies is taking naps so he definitely sleeps a lot, especially in the afternoon. I think he must be extremely tired when he gets home from training and doesn't want anything more than a cuddle and a good nap.
if you guys want to ask me for drabbles or one-shots, feel free (it can be fluffly, smut, agnst)
i hope you enjoyed it, babes 💋
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leafzu · 9 months ago
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Nanami with a sick/touch starved reader. 💉
Nanami who left your peaceful sleeping form early in the morning and left for work.
Strange, He thought to himself. No good morning text from you or any other texts.
“Have you had breakfast?" [Sent]
Being in an arranged marriage and as a newly wed couple, you two weren't that yet affectionate in the relationship. No it definitely doesn't mean he doesn't like you. He does, a lot. But, you're both still very new to all this.
New to each other.
An hour later and still no text from you. You didn't even see his message. Now he was getting worried. So he took a very much early leave and came back home at around noon.
His worried suspicions came true when he saw you still lying on the bed, under your blanket.
You didn't get up yet? That's strange, you wake up an hour later after Nanami wakes up. Sure it was your day off but that's still strange.
He slowly approached you from behind and shook you gently, quietly whispering your name. With a hum you slowly opened your eyes but everything felt like a blur.
"You slept 'till noon." He smiled gently. You lay there motionless, not having the strength to get up. "I'll make us some lunch, why don't you go freshen yourself up."
A few minutes later when he came back from the kitchen and still saw you in bed lying there, he got a bit worried.
"Are you okay?" He said. "You've been in bed all-"
Just as he grabbed your hands, they were warm. Warmer than normal. Your forehead and neck were burning. He only noticed now how flushed your face was. Your cheeks were burning too. And your eyes..
They were red. You have been crying for who knows how long.
He gently sat you up, touching your cheek. "Why didn't you tell me about the fever?" Unable to answer, you looked down. Lips quivering. "I'm fine," you let out in a weak voice. Eyes watering slowly. "You can let me know anything, you know that right?"
Not able to hold it anymore you start crying. Nanami didn't know why you were crying, but he let you cry, holding your hand gently. He understood you needed to let whatever it was out. He was worried that something serious might have happened.
"My mother.." you sniffed. "She would get irritated with me whenever I got sick." He listened patiently. "I had no control over my getting sick, and she treated me so coldly too."
You wiped your tears away with both hands like a child. "I sometimes didn't wanna let her know that I was sick or feeling unwell."
"I didn't wanna bother you too"
You felt two hands pull you towards him.
Being in an arranged marriage and as a newly wed couple, you two weren't that yet affectionate in the relationship. This was the first time he took you in his embrace and let you cry.
"I'm sorry," he started "that you had to go through that. But, I'm here for you now. You are a part of my life. So please," he takes your hand in his. "Never hide your pain from me again. We're in this together."
This love, this affection, it was all too much for you as you had never experienced it before. You cried it all out and fell asleep in his embrace. He held you close, letting peace take over you.
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yanderestarangel · 1 year ago
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Hi! I was wondering if you can write headcanons for bi han, kuai liang, and Tomas with a reader who is shy in bed
HEADKANONS MK1 | TRIO LIN KUEI | "HOW THEY REACTED TO A SHY READER IN BED?" + BONUS: "How they act in bed?"
TW: afab anatomy, vaginal sex, smut.
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✧ BI HAN ✧
He is a serious man, but not shy, especially in bed. Bi Han has two types of reactions while fucking: either being very loud, letting out hoarse grunts and being aggressive or just making low grunts against your skin. But if you're the shy one, he'll make you moan, no matter what it takes, Bi Han wants to hear him pleasuring you with his dick inside your pussy or any other hole. If he notices that you're holding back your moans, he'll sigh, giving you a weak but delicious slap on the ass. The first times between the two of you will be like this with Bi Han looking at you beneath him, too shy to moan as he fucks you with all his might, he even finds your efforts to hide from him with the pillow or sheets cute, he will just take away any physical imposition of your body and seeing your pussy and breasts being fucked by him, while Bi Han teased you.
"-Come on (Y/N) gem, don't be a shy little slut, I know you love my dick." / "-Do you want me to touch you here?" -Bi Han would speak provocatively, taking two fingers to your clitoris and massaging it while still fucking you with his cock, leading to you finally moaning loudly and his name, the grand master will be extremely proud of himself, satisfied with having pulled one such a beautiful reaction from you. "-Hmmph... Finally baby, just moan more for me, I want more of this, scream cumming on my dick, be my good boy/good girl, make me proud." -He finishes this by giving you another hard slap on the ass, while grabbing the soft flesh of your hips.
✧ KUAI LIANG ✧
He is also a serious man, but a warm lover in many ways - excuse the pun lol - he wants to be loved and love back, to be cared for and to care for and this applies in bed. He tends to be more vocal, not being too loud or being too quiet - Liang likes to let you know how much he's loving it, letting out medium moans with his mouth either open or in your ear, breathing heavily as he fucks your pussy. Kuai is a man of vision that is, he likes and wants to see your body and hear your moans, if you try to cover yourself and he realizes how shy you are/are at the moment he will be understanding and ask if everything is ok, if do you want to stop or if he is giving you enough pleasure - when you explain it, he will still be gently pushing into your pussy, while watching you from the side, grabbing the pillow and hiding your body from him making him smile a little, while using his hips in slow, slightly circular movements, making you moan, finally he doesn't mean anything, he just wants to hear you looking beautiful and receiving pleasure from him.
Kuai thinks your body is perfection, your sweet moans coming out with each thrust of his and he will do his best to hear you moan and show yourself to him, he loved seeing you writhe on top of his dick, he would push it to the base while smiling slightly giving you a kiss on the cheek and whispering in your ear: "-You're so beautiful, you know (Y/N)? Drooling and getting dirty on my dick, you're so desperate to cum, aren't you? Even though you give a sweet little shy thing, I love it Seeing you like this, seeing you moan, your body is mine and I'm going to please you and make you cum until you can't feel your legs anymore." -Kuai whispered, increasing the pace of his hips, fucking your pussy harder, he was going to make his promise count that night.
✧ TOMAS VRBADA ✧
An extremely noisy and needy man. Holy shit, Tomas moans so loud sometimes that it echoes throughout your house, he can't control the moans and whimpers, even shedding some tears because he's super stimulated by your pussy, telling you sweet things with his voice choked with lust, holding your hips tightly. But he wasn't always like that, the first night with him you will both be very shy, especially Tomas because he hasn't been with anyone other than you yet, but after that night he will be so vocal, his moans are hoarse and exciting enough to make you cum in minutes - believe me. When Vrbada realizes that your shyness has not passed, he will ask you if everything is ok and if he is doing it right, how to stimulate your clitoris too, because he wants to hear you moan as loud as him, he wants to see your sweaty and flushed body while stick the 20 centimeters of his dick in your cunt, he will beg and whimper for you to take the sheet off your beautiful body, and he won't hold back with the moans, just moan for this man as loud as you can, the more loud you moan, but his dick will fuck your pussy. "-Yes my little angel... Fuuuck~ so tight, and those beautiful breasts? Just waiting to be fucked, aren't you? You're so beautiful (Y/N) so beautiful to me, moan and dirty my cock, beautiful little slut."
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©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023
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shuenkio · 6 months ago
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Hide And Seek | Yjw. ❤️‍🔥 [From request]
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Paring: Jungwon x male!reader
Genre: Smut 18+ [don't like don't press]
Cw: pure explicit, mentioned of dicks, protect sex, first time jw & reader, cum, rough sex etc.
Summary: Whoever loses, will pay the price.
Non proof read / wc: 1.1k
Eng is not my 1st lang.
A/N: Still working on how to write SMAU and again, I wrote this at night rn so mistake could appear, sorry at advance.
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You lose a bet to your not-so-innocent boyfriend, Jungwon. which you promise to do anything as he told you since most of the time you're always winning and you make him do silly kinds of stuff, such as meowing, wearing cat ears and aegyo. Jungwon said he no longer likes doing cute stuff anymore, he wants to be more mature however he's willing to do those just for you when you win the game back then but for now he's changed just like he said, mature.
Instead of giving you a hard time doing as he demands, Jungwon just told you to play hide and seek with him, and those who lose this time will pay the consequences, a very good one. You chuckle, after hearing those. Overconfident that you'd win against him once again as you're so good at hiding but all that joy died down once he unannounced the last words.
"If I catch you, I'm going to fuck you m/n," Jungwon said, slightly rise his lip as in a dark expression. Giving you another reason that he's not joking this time, he's being serious and he might do just like he said, fuck you.
You swallow hard, low-key scared at your Boyfriend's sudden black aura however you still want to challenge him, to make the game fair.
"Cool, I'll let you have me for the very first time after dating for years, I'm challenging my love~"
"Oh hoo- very brave of you m/n I already had my plan I'll find you my gummies"
That was the last word you heard from him. You're now hiding in the most obvious place ever, a closet but you know you did a very good job, of blending in with all those clothes and you also know, Jungwon rarely opens the closet... In the storage room.
The apple didn't fall far from its apple tree, suddenly Jungwon opened the closet with his extended into two as his playful smile yet satisfied appeared on his face.
"Catch ya~ m/n!"
The next thing you know, both of you two are exposed to each other. Jungwon's cock is standing in all glory despite how small he is you had seen his figure when he has his clothes on. Clothes manipulation it's real. You thought your boyfriend's size wouldn't be that big, but no. You're wrong. Jungwon's manhood is much more than you expected. Just like they say, the skinny guy always has the best package and so does he.
He was fat in both girth and size, not gonna lie he was long. Long enough to make you cry in an ecstasy mess.
Jungwon wasted no time before taking hold of both of your limp, spreading apart as he lean down, captures your sweet ass with his tongue and began to give you a nice licking.
It feels so weird yet so good since this is your very first time doing so, even though you had pleasures yourself in the bathroom all the time but having your love giving you a tongue under you instead? You let out your gasp from a shockwave.
"J-jungwon too good feel too good let's do it i-am ready" you utter, with your breathless and non-stop heaving chest. Begging him to claim you as his own which as a result, he responds with a moan, still enjoying giving you a head, continues to lick wet at your entrance while you hold onto his head.
"Don't be so impatient gummies, for now, brace yourself— would you like it insanely raw or protection gummies?" Jungwon ensures, as much as he wants to do it with you with no condom on that he's still respecting your decision. You almost shed a tear at his words but you chose to keep it safe and said to come along with a condom.
Jungwon nodded before he grabbed a condom, and pulls it overall in, wrapped around his long slimy leaking cock. The texture of the condom, gave him a chill and a sensation at the tip of his cock as he dropped his jaw open, and let out a small gasp.
"I'm going in m/n, I'm going to make us closer than ever!" Jungwon informs as he lines himself at your entrance before sliding in the tip Inside.
The new sensitivity from his tip, almost driving you nuts. Making you cry loudly echoes all over the bedroom. Jungwon was uncut however, his size did him justice to make you feel so right, just one tip already send you jolts.
Jungwon's too were inhales Sharpy, feeling your wall clenching his glan tight. The most sweet spot out of all parts of the cock.
"Can I go in m/n? I want to make your first time unforgettable! Should I go rough or gently hm?"
"Pl-please go, rough love, I wanna feel all of you" you reply desperately, sweat begins to drip down from all the hotness. Jungwon nods and lowers himself slowly until he's all in.
You squeak in a high pitch note, as you quickly cover your mouth with your palm. Jungwon seems to be worried about you, nevertheless, you assure him that it's fine, you're very sensitive that's all.
To make you feel right, He began to grind you from a gentle pace to his balls making skin-slapping sounds between your legs.
Jungwon didn't hide the fact he was too, trembling and shaking from this fuck session, the tip of his cock already found your button at its first attempt. This fuels him more into the world of ecstasy, throwing his head facing up at the white blank ceiling, shoving his hip against you unstoppable.
As expected, you started to feel your orgasm buildings inside his cock, buried and pounding in a rough motion.
"I'm too close jungwon, this is gonna be my biggest explosion ever"
"Fuck holy shit nrgg--m/n I do to hmm I'm gonna c-cum I'm sorry"
Once you reached your climax, white sticky liquids explode from your hand-free dick as it leaks on your belly.
Meanwhile, Jungwon, feeling the same way as you before pulling his cock out of your arse, takes off his condom away and shoots all the hot loads all over your body, including your face too.
"Shibal... Very sensitive arg" [shibal= fuck]
Finally, the first round ended with both of you reached the most thrilling climax ever. Jungwon was still standing, catching his breath, as his leg shaking from the stimulation despite his's also the first time.
How about you? You were almost passed out, chest heaving, as you tried to grab some air from his hard-core fuck. The fact he said he would fuck you, he meant it. Jungwon ate you up and left you no crumbs.
"Sorry m/n if I'm too hard on you, I'll take care of everything"
"*Huff* I see you're being mature now love, but your heart still not mature enough hehe"
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🗣️ Please mind my English! ><
🗣️Reblog and like is much appreciated ♥🗣️crd to all the owners dividers
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ch3rriiii-bunn · 2 years ago
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Time of the month
I mean this in no slander way, but the clones may know about sex and etc, but they definitely are dumb ass hell to a period lmfao. They are clones after not really like the other demons too lmfao
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Warnings: fem!reader, fluff & smut, periods, oral (reader receiving), hunger impulses, humor
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Aizetsu
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Aizetsu could tell someone wasn't right with you for the past few days. He explained that a demon is able to sense the hormone changes in a human, but he couldn't really make out what it is. When Aizetsu smelled blood from you, he almost panicked. "Y/n, where are you hurt?" He asked, holding your face looking around your neck and chest.
You giggled. "I'm not hurt. Why are you assuming that?" You asked "I smell blood from you" Aizetsu says almost crying and looking around your body "don't hide your pain from me it makes me sad when you do" Aizetsu kept checking until he squats down to your lower half and smelled where the blood was coming from.
You took a step back a bit nervously. "Aizetsu... I'm just on my period. Do you not know what that means?" You asked, and he just shook his head, no in response. From that day, you had to explain to Aizetsu what a period is and how it's very common for women to have one and anyone with a uterus, and he was able to understand.
You couldn't stop Aizetsu hunger when your period came. "Y/n, I'm so hungry. Please let me eat, I need to. I can't resist it anymore. " Aizetsu begs you every time, drool falling from his chin from his hunger. Aizetsu goes down on you, having his tongue lap up at the blood flowing out of you having his fill. Most of the time, Aizetsu does it to satisfy his hunger but will get carried away and end up over stimulating you.
"A-Aizetsu you said you were done" you mewl and your back arches when you feel him suck on your clit. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he moans on your pussy "forgive me" he said between licks not stopping until he's tasting your cum mixed with your blood.
Aizetsu takes notice that when you're on your period, you get more emotional and clingy to him. "Y/n, I have to go see "that man." I promise I'll come back," he said, but you just held his hand tighter. "Don't leave Aizetsu. I'll miss you, " you said and began crying, but that only made Aizetsu cry and even harder at that. "Your poor thing. You can't live with out my for more than a second, can you? " he said.
"What the fuck!? I just don't want my boyfriend leaving me" you sob "so you can live without me!?" Aizetsu asked only making him sob harder having you both because an emotional mess.
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Sekido
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The first time Sekido realized what a period was after you explained it to him, he literally called it stupid. He couldn't understand how the uterus could cause a person so much pain all because they aren't pregnant each month. "If it's because you're not pregnant, why don't I just get you pregnant, you fool?" He said, being very serious, and you tried not to laugh since it wouldn't really change anything.
Sekido would get mad when your period could affect your whole body. "What do you mean I can't lay my head on your chest!? You said it was just your stomach hurting you," Sekido said, sounding confused but somehow angry as well.
"Sekido, when I get my period, a lot of things happen to my body, including my boobs... they are really tender and sore right now, " you explained, but that only angered Sekido even more. "Please don't be mad," you say with tears instantly coming out of your eyes. "Why are you crying!?" He raised his voice. "Don't yell at me either!" You sob in your hands, having Sekido stand there dumb founded and feeling somewhat bad for making you cry.
Sekido had to take many months to understand you on your period and when not to say certain things. Even so, he couldn't hide his hunger when you're around on your period. "Stop squirming. The more you do, the less blood that comes out and I'm fucking hungry" he said, holding your legs open but reminds himself you are in pain and sure to have his hand on your stomach, rubbing it and giving your clit attention with his tounge to give you pleasure.
Sekido doesn't get carried away with getting his fill but there will be those days where he'll want to fuck you on your period and that's the softest sex you'll ever get from him.
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Karaku
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"A period? Do I get one? My dick does have a hole, so maybe i can have one..." He'll ask seriously after you explained to him why you bleed every month from your vagina. Karaku couldn't believe this was something you could do all because you weren't pregnant, and surprisingly, he made sure to take a mental note of how he should help you when this time comes around.
Karaku did realize how needy you'd get for him on your period. He'd use this opportunity to get his fill, lapping up the blood from your pussy but take his sweet time but making sure to pleasure you in the process, moaning from how good you tasted both for his hunger and your arousal.
"You're still in pain, aren't you?" Karaku rubs your stomach and gives it soft kisses. "Don't worry. I'll make the pain go away," he smirks. Karaku is able to go up to many rounds with you, that's just the stamina of a demon but he has to realize on a normal day you can only do so many but on months like this? Oh he loves how you can take his cock for more then an hour.
Karaku notices how you're much more needy for words of affirmation during this month. "y/n, you're beautiful. I love you. " he'll hold your face, squish your cheeks together, and even pet your head. "Are you still in pain?" he'll say, rubbing your back and sometimes giving you butt rubs as you lay on his chest. "It'll end soon. You'll be fine"
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Urogi
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"Wow! Are these pads? Look how easily they break!" He said, ripping up at least 3 of your pads with his sharp talons. You screamed at him so loud that day, saying you need them to the point where Urogi doesn't dare mess with them again.
Urogi makes fun of you for being in your period. He'll often compare you to Sekido with how angry you get. "Am I bothering you? Why aren't you talking to me? Hello, hello hello" Urogi said, knowing he's being annoying and even using his talon to poke you in a painful way to annoying you "fuck off! Stop that you annoying bird!" You yell "ok ms.sekido, " Urogi said.
You'd never have a problem with Urogi going down on you when it's that month for you since it was normal for a demon to have hunger impulses when they smell blood from a human but you never wanted to give Urogi the satisfaction of how good his tounge felt.
You can tell when Urogi has had his fill but will want to keep playing with you. You'll turn your head with a pout, not looking at his big yellow eyes staring at you. "What? Don't wanna look at me? Is it because I'm a mess with your blood" he mocks you and presses his tounge flat on your clit.
"So much more sensitive then usual" Urogi grabs your thighs spreading them open keeps licking at your clit and feel your legs trembling in his grip. "Oh? Does it feel good? Your legs are shaking, " he said "C'mon tell me how good it feels, " he stops, looking up at you, waiting for an answer
"Fuck... it feels good, keep going" you grab his hair pushing his head closer to your thobbing clit. "Don't worry, I'll have you cumming on my tounge in no time~"
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woso-dreamzzz · 11 months ago
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Big Boss II
Hardersson x Child!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: You're not just Not-Wolfsburg's Big Boss
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You're a very good Big Boss.
You know this because Coach Emma and your mothers tell you so.
Sometimes though, you wish you weren't the Big Boss of Chelsea.
Specifically, now.
You wiggle happily in your seat as you sit in a video review session. The team are playing Arsenal at the weekend and you swing your legs back and forth as some of your favourite players appear on the screen.
"That's Daan!" You tell Jessie and Niamh. "She's so cool!"
Niamh looks at you a little wounded. "Cooler than us?"
You give her a look. "Of course! 'Cause she's Arsenal."
"Maybe tone down the love, princesse," Momma laughs as she moves to sit in your seat, swinging you up into her lap," We're still Chelsea here."
You sigh. "Why? Morsa says that if I love something I should let people know."
"I think she meant someone's cooking or a game, not one of our rivals."
"But why?"
"Well..." Momma has to think for a second. "Because being a good Big Boss means that you have to take into account other people's feelings. Jessie and Niamh might feel sad if you keep talking about Arsenal."
You hadn't thought about that before so you slump in Momma's lap.
"Sorry," You murmur. You shouldn't lie but if it's to save someone's feelings you think it's okay like that time Morsa lied about how your cookies tasted even though you know that you put salt in one of them by accident.
You wiggle on Momma's lap excitedly though at the thought of seeing the Arsenal girls again. Leah and Katie are super cool and Jill's tall so you climb up onto her shoulders so you can be tall too. Beth and Daan are extra special though because every time you see them, they give you a juice box and a snack.
You kick your legs out a little as you wonder what snacks Daan will give you this time.
"That's Leah!" You say before turning around in Momma's lap to peek over her shoulder at Morsa," Is she better than you?"
Morsa chokes a little bit, thumping her chest as she coughs. "What?"
"Cause you and her play the same position," You explain like Morsa's slow," Is she better than you?"
"Princesse," Morsa says in shock," What makes you think she's better than me?"
You shrug. "Dunno. That's why I'm asking."
"Just because she's Arsenal doesn't mean she's better than me," Morsa says," I'm one of the best."
"Was just asking!" You defend, sticking your tongue out," Momma says that if I ever wonder about something it's better to ask!"
When game day rolls around, you're very excited.
You're excited for every match day but especially against Arsenal. You get up extra early and go downstairs to play with your toys while Morsa and Momma wake up. You thought about going to the Big Bed but you know that you would just fall asleep and you want to be awake for the game today.
"Seeing the Arsenal girls," You tell Morsa when she asks what's got you so hyper," They're my favourite!"
She groans like she always does when you proclaim your love for Arsenal.
Momma laughs before going serious. "I know the Arsenal girls are your friends, princesse," She says," But this is very serious, okay? You can't tell them anything about how we're going to be playing, okay?"
Your brow furrows. "Why?"
"Well, because then the match won't be any fun for anyone and we all play football because it's fun, don't we?"
You think about that for a moment. It makes sense. You love playing football. You can't imagine what it would be like for it not to be fun anymore. "Okay, I won't tell."
"You're a good secret keeper," Momma says," I have no doubts you'll do very well."
You puff out your chest in pride as the car comes to a stop and you all get out.
You don't really understand why you all have to check the pitch because it's the same every time but Momma and Morsa make you.
"Daan!" You cry out, immediately detaching yourself from Morsa to run over. You stumble a little bit before crashing into her arms.
"Hey there!" Daan laughs as she swings you around. You settle happily on her hip and she pulls a Freddo Frog out of her pocket that you munch happily on.
She walks you both over to a bigger group of Arsenal girls and you high five everyone.
"That's a nice shirt," Daan says, pulling it down from where it's ridden up," What does it mean?"
"Means I'm the Big Boss!" You boast, puffing out your chest," I'm the best Big Boss 'cause Momma and Morsa tells me so."
"Oh, wow," Daan says with the perfect amount of awe at your status," I wish we had a big boss."
You look around quickly and bite at your lip. Momma and Morsa made you promise not to blab about Not-Wolfsburg tactics to Arsenal but they said nothing about helping them.
"I can be your Big Boss!" You say," But you have to ask my Momma and Morsa 'cause I'm only little and they still make lots of my choices."
Daan laughs but brings you over to where Momma and Morsa are milling about on the other side of the pitch.
"Momma," You say because you know she's more likely to give you what you want," Can I be the Big Boss for Arsenal today?"
She seems to catch on to what you're doing because she shrugs. "I don't know. Why don't you ask your Morsa?"
"Morsa, please?"
"Trying to pinch my daughter, van de Donk?" Morsa says," That's low."
Daan shrugs. "I'll give her back?"
"See that you do." Morsa presses a kiss to your forehead before letting Daan take you away.
You make sure to be just as firm as you always are because Coach Emma always tells you that being firm is the best way to get a team to play good so, just because you love Arsenal, doesn't mean you go easy on them.
"Run! Run! Run!" You order," Hurry up! Stop being slow!"
You cross your arms over your chest firmly and stamp your foot on the ground.
"Faster!" You yell," Or my Morsa's gonna catch you and she's not going to let you win!"
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sickuma · 1 year ago
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SILLAGE — a Simon Riley fic. 2/2
❱ again this was an au first written on tiktok! this will be the last part of it, please keep in mind that it is all fiction and that if you're going through the same thing and are having the same thoughts, please seek someone you trust. Please fight for yourselves, you're worth it ꜝ? Warning. . this is a heavy angst fic, mentions of suicide and acts of committing, if that is something that triggers bad emotions, please exit the fic.
paring is Ghost x Reader this is unedited! mistakes such as spelling and grammatical errors are to be expected !
Part 1 (^_^;)
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SILLAGE — (n.) The scent that lingers in air, the trail left in water, the impression made in space after something or someone has been and gone; the trace of someone's perfume.
—hey [name]? I know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now, but I just really—
There was a short pause, as the voicemail erupts a slight static sound.
—I love you. That should have been enough reason. No, you were enough. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I was cowardly, I figured that you'll be happier and safer, being with someone who isn't me. Someone who isn't a soldier.
It was the same night he left your apartment. He swore to himself he would not come crawling back. To protect both of you, at the time, it had been the best solution for him. Until the midnight strikes, he remembered just how serious you looked, just how accepting you looked.
Too accepting.
—because who knows when one of these missions would finally take me out. I can't let you suffer through that, I can't be the one to give you that kind of grief. So I thought leaving you was the best option.
There was a dire pause as he thought of the best words possible to express himself. He’s never been one to do such, but for you, he’s willing to be better.
—it wasn't.
He spoke desperately, almost shaking from just how much adrenaline rushed through him. He had just argued with the team, and after a long hour of explaining to them what he needed to do, he was finally permitted to bail out on this mission, it’s not like he wouldn't leave without permission, that's how urgent this is for him, he needed to get to you as soon as possible,
Even he doesn't know why he’s in a rush,
Maybe it's because of your silence, the unanswered calls, and unread messages that brought him on edge.
—I love you, far too much, my love, to even think straight without you. I love you so much it's hard to breathe. I so desperately love you to the point it hurts.
The desperation and sincerity. It was all there. He knew if he couldn't let it out now, he won't let it out ever. This was his only chance of being happy.
You were his only chance for happiness. He almost couldn't believe he thought letting you go because of his fear was the best decision.
He stupidly let you go, succumbing to the fear of dying while you wait for him. He knows better, he will do better,
For you. Because you're worth changing for, you're worth the risk.
—please don't hate me. I know I was an ass for leaving in the first place, baby, I am sorry. You loved me so much that it felt so good, I didn't know I'm capable of feeling that way, so I was scared that worse would come after. I'm not scared anymore. You looked at me like there's something in me worth looking at,
He felt like he was saying so much yet so little at the same time,
He had so much to tell you but very few words to express it. He needs to be with you. He needs to see you and physically explain to you just how much you mean to him.
—I won't waste it, love, not again. Please open the door for me when I get back. 
He frowned, realizing once again just how idiotic he was. He knew he should not have done what he did, but it was over with. The only thing left to do is to make things right somehow.
—I've never been taught how to love, I have.. I don't— I'm not the best at it. I'm sorry baby, if I'm not loving you the right way, and for leaving just like that, but I promise I'll be better. you're worth the better of me, you're worth learning love for.
He needed you, and you needed him. That should have been enough reason to risk it.
—when I come back, please let me hold you. Please forgive me for making you feel like an option between my job. It's you. It's always been you. I love you, baby, wait for me. I'll make this right.
As the line cuts, the static sound fills the eerie room of yours. The very same room he had walked out from, the same room where you sat breathing hours ago. There were no other living sounds except for the occasional ticking of the clock.
There were no signs nor sounds of life perceived in the room. The silence was thick. With your lifeless body beside the bed in a fetal position, a bottle of used pills tightly wrapped around your hands. It was light, about three to four pills left inside a newly bought bottle.
It was dead silent as if the universe sympathized with you.
Allowing silence in regards to respect for what has passed, for what has ended.
“My family’s never been the typical joyous family, I guess that affected me, as a person in general.”
You explain, running your hand through his hair while his head laid on your lap. It’s one of those days where he’d be much affectionate compared to the majority of the time. He requested to hear about your childhood while he rests on you,
For a moment you felt your heart and breath hitch.
“I guess growing up in that kind of household really—really influenced my well-being. It's given me problems and worries I shouldn't have.” You were hesitant to continue, “Fear, I started having fears for a lot of things.”It's as if you caught a glimpse of his mind, taking in the details you've just given him.“Fears like?” 
The moment the question reached your ears, he could see your body tense. He understood, and he doesn't plan on pushing it.“You don't have to answer that, my love.” he smiles, “No matter what it is you're scared of, let’s face it together, yeah? You have me. That's enough, I hope.”
Little did he know that fear was yet to come. The fear of leaving soon, the fear of being unable to keep going. How could you ever explain to him that you don't plan to stay long?
With a ragged breath from exhaustion, he dropped his things once again, the same way he did before he left. Facing your door yet again, panting as a feeling of discomfort plagued him, why exactly? He’s finally here. Why is he so distraught, he wondered.
“[name]?” he knocks,
Swallowing the lump in his throat, his voice strained, and his state dishevelled. “[name] please—it’s me, please answer.”
The lack of response made him think about just how angry he made you,
“I'm sorry,” he whispers,
“I know I was stupid and irrational. I won't do it again, petal, please open the door.”
To say he’s nervous would be an understatement. What would he do if you never find it in you to let him back into the comfort of your arms? Will he return to the familiar cold he had forgotten when he met you?
“[name] I love you.”
He desperately spoke, yearning for an answer; the smallest sign of acceptance. 
It was odd. How quiet it was. Are you that mad? He wonders, but then again, he knew you’re not one to ignore, not even when you’re the angriest you've been. You would never shut him out, not ever. “[name], please, answer, or I'll have to go inside.”
“Baby are you okay?” no response.
Each passing second was like a countdown. He was uneasy and distraught. Afraid even.
The silence felt deafening. He was afraid of what? He had no clue what he was so afraid of, surely you're okay...
Right?
“[name], I'm coming in,” he says sternly, fishing the spare key he oh so gratefully forgot to give back. His heart thumps louder with each action.
The moment he entered, the creak of the door interrupted the silence. He felt like he was intruding on an abandoned space. It felt wrong. He knew something was wrong.
“[name]? I'm back, like—like I always am.” his voice broke, stepping inside, head looking around, hoping to find you and engulf you in his longing arms. “As I told you, I’ll always find my way back… right?”
He kept speaking while he walked, checking and opening every door. Starting from the small kitchen to the bathroom, checking everywhere until there was one room left. He dreaded it, for no reason he was scared and yet he rushed,
He spoke, no—he goes on a tangent, 
“I'll take the month off. We’ll do anything you want, anything to make up for this. I promise we can even get a pet, I always say no, right? This time, I'll agree, anything for you, my love just—”
The silence rung,
Apart from the sound of the door opening by his force, there were no sounds made, not from him, not from anything. He simply stood, dumbfounded at what the room unveiled; at that moment, nothing mattered, not even the breath he had held unknowingly.
A ragged chuckle escaped his lips, though it was hollow. As if he was desperate to know that maybe this is all some sick prank. Maybe this was one of your silly games he always put up with, “Baby? What’s this? Why are you on the floor?”
“Jokes over [name] get up—”
When it all came to view, he was silenced. The second he stepped closer, he saw how your body lay lifeless, how you held that bottle, and how his eyes drifted onto the lone tear, which evidently dried along the hours. 
How long have you been here?
In this state? How long has it been since you left him?
He couldn't feel. He couldn't grasp his head around the sight before him. He’s well familiar with death. He’s seen it before, and he’s lost comrades before, but nothing comes close to what lay in front of him. 
How does one react when their lifeline lies lifeless before their very eyes?
He couldn't approach nor speak. He simply stood with weak knees, tempting to give out. It didn't take him long to crouch, eyes wide open with lips parted slightly. There were no tears, no emotions, the moment numbed him. It didn't feel like reality,
There he crouched, just a few steps away from you. It didn't feel like his heart dropped. It felt almost worse, as if you'd taken it with you. How could this have happened? Did he cause this?
If you had told him a day ago that he would witness the person he loved the most laying on the floor devoid of life, he would have laughed at your face, punching you even. This isn't reality. This isn't a reality he wants to face.
It took every courage in his body to bring himself closer to you, afraid of what more he’d discover. With slow steps, he drew closer, grabbing your hand was the first thing he thought of doing. “Oh god…” his voice broke,
Your body isn't as warm as it used to be,
Not as he remembered. The warmth he loved when he would hold you against him, it’s gone. You're gone.
He had felt countless of stiff lifeless bodies and yet yours hurt the most,
The mere thought of it destroyed him. It hasnt sinked in yet, but he could tell. He could tell his demise is near. The realization will hit him in a short while. 
“Baby, im home…” this wasn't him. This was not his voice. Stuttering over the easiest words, strained with pent-up sobs. His chest felt heavy, almost making it difficult to breathe. 
Yet with hitched breath, he picked up your limp body and placed you in his arms, crushing your icy body against him. He held you tightly, but his hands cradled your body tenderly. It was as if he’s afraid of hurting you more.
Ghost was forever fearless, always facing whatever challenge was given to him, even his mortal enemy would know that he isnt necessarily the easiest solder to crack, let alone destroy and yet he finds himself sat on the floor holding the lifeless frame of his lover,
Cradling whatever is left of you,
Desperately holding onto what he can possibly hold on to.
The lieutenant everyone looked up on, admired and viewed as an admirable man, sat on the floor with a weighing heart. Holding back the tears that had formed without his knowledge as he held your body, 
but right now, he wasn't lieutenant simon ‘ghost’ riley.
At this moment, he was just simon, the simon you loved desperately, the simon who loved you just as insanely.
This person right this moment was your simon,
He wasnt anyone else, he was yours.
As he sat on the hard cold floor, thoughts roaming with his heart screaming, he felt like a mess, but that didn't matter. Words can not describe the regret, remorse, and stupidity he felt,
If i didnt leave,
If i didn't walk out that door,would you still have been alive in my arms?Would i still have to hold you soulless?
He held you closer, bringing you closer to him, as close as possible. He felt nothing but regret, nothing but anger for himself. Why is it that the very grief he tried to protect you from, the same reason he left, the same grief he avoided you to feel, why is it that he’s feeling it now?
His ragged sobs filled the room, and the rest remained still as if everything sympathized for him. As if the world understood the hurt he carried. He sobs, holding onto you as if doing so would bring you back. He knew nothing well, and yet he foolishly cried, hoping you’ll hear him and come back to ease the pain.
Like you always did.
At the corner of his eyes, he saw the letters piled not far from them. Without standing, nor letting go of you, he reached for it. Reading the names addressed on each, until he sees the one for him.
Of all the few letters he saw, his was the only one with tear drops which ruined the ink in front, almost unable to read, he brought it closer, dropping the rest.
Simon,
I felt everything.
Thank you, and im sorry,
I love you :)
Swallowing the impossibly heavy lump on his throat, he opened the carefully folded letter. He was met with even more tear drops. The thought of you crying, alone, while you write him a letter to bid him goodbye, crushed his soul.
He cant imagine a greater pain,
It felt surreal.
How could I..
How could I have lost you this easily.
With his blurry vision, he starts to read—well—attempt to. With every sentence, every punctuation, every meaning of your words, all of it felt like a slap to reality.
How could he have not seen?
How did he not notice? Not paying attention to what you were going through? How could he have been so careless as to leave you all alone.
The very fear you spoke of,
He did just exactly what your family had done.
If anybody could have saved me,
it would have been you.
He read the part over and over again, allowing your words to cut through his heart repeatedly. He left you, and yet, at the end of the day, you still see him as someone—the only one who could save you. 
Despite the war inside your mind,
Inside your mind and unwavering emotions, which he hadn't bothered to unveil, he remained the most important person.
May it be in your chaotic mind or the furthest crevices of your heart, he remained on both.
He read it all,
Understanding every single thing you failed to say in person,
Everything you failed to say while you still lived.
It hurts even more. He thought nothing could be more painful when he saw you laying lifeless. But having to read what you wanted to say,
How sorry you were, how thankful you are to him, and how he made you feel. 
It was surely another cut to an already existing wound. His mind flashed memories while he went over the tear stained letter you left.
He remembered everything as if they were as fresh as yesterday. When you first smiled at him, when you first held hands, when your lips first touched.
Your words were true. The story of you really is short-lived. But he couldn't help but think about the what If's
If he stayed,
If he hadn't walked out,
If he ignored his fear of abandoning you,
If he hadn't been so stupid and cowardly.
He gave up, and the heavy lump on the throat overcame him, letting the sting linger for as long as eternity. He read the last words on the letter, with a loud sob, with repeated pleads.
Repeatedly apologising, repeatedly begging for you to come back so he could fix things so everything could return to normal,
So you could return.
A childish wish. A high-ranking soldier held the lifeless body of his lover all while he begs for them to come back. 
"I'm so sorry." He whispers, voice too broken to speak normally. "I'm sorry for not noticing."
"I'm sorry you had to be alone." 
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He repeats over and over again, holding you against him. 
At the back of the letter, he could barely see the words written with how blurry the tears clouded his eyes.
Thank you for making me feel.
The words only crushed him even more, sobbing and crying harder to no avail. 
"[name]..." He whispers, holding you close. "Did it hurt? I'm sorry, it must have been so hard."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm so sorry for not being here you."
He apologized, wishing he could have been with you. To convince you otherwise, wishing he could have been here to avoid this,
To avoid losing you.
Wishing he could have stayed to keep making you feel.
The thoughts of your words before he left suddenly entered his mind,
"Can I hug you?"
"One last time?"
Now it all makes sense why you looked so serene, why you looked so accepting. Why did you have that small smile on your lips,
You were bidding him goodbye.
That really was the final hug. 
The final touch he'd ever get, the final living affection he would get from you. 
He holds you now, but it wasn't the same, not even close. Back then, you were smiling and breathing, but now you're no different to an inanimate object. Stiff and cold, this is the person he loved so dearly?
It ached.
And it ached painfully.
The type of ache to never go away, the type of ache he'd keep forever.
The type of ache he'll willingly embrace,
As he held you that night, mourning for what could've been, mourning for someone beyond saving.
This was the ache he'd willingly feel forever,
If it means having you in his mind and heart. He would willingly hurt himself by keeping that ache if it means keeping you in his deceased heart forever.
As the remnant of your memories roamed the room, your presence which now passed, the scent of yours he dearly craved. It left a sillage pain to remember,
You left a sillage worth remembering.
"I'll keep you in my heart,
Even if that damage me,
Even if it kills me.
I'll keep you safe forever."
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sanemisstalker · 7 months ago
Text
no matter how much dick I get... the urge to do vile things to this man will always prevail
NSFW MINORS DNI - AFAB/GN REFFERED READER - HEAD - TOXIC MASCULINITY (Belief that a penis is needed to make a man) - Sanemi with a CANNIBALISM/DIETY kink? Idk I got a little frisky with the head talk. - He begs for help at one point. HYPER CONSENT.
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NEEDY FOR HEAD - WITH SANEMI
-'I don't like it when you get- lower like that. Makes my teeth ache. I feel like you're gonna... bite it off.'
-You're a little offended by the implication. Sure you're a little weird and off putting, but fuck all, you weren't REALLY gonna bite Sanemi's cock off when it came to it.
-You sigh.
-This little fit of his had been going on for a while, now. Sure you can get head all you want, but lord forbid YOU want to GIVE. Lord forbid YOU want to SATISFY.
-'It's not funny anymore.'
-'Wasn't ever trying to be funny.' he spits in turn.
-'Then I'd like an unfunny answer.'
-'I'm being serious, damn! It feels like my balls are gonna go up when you're down there! Why don't you believe me?!'
-Sanemi had never been very explicit about his wants. Keeping your laugh to yourself was a little hard at such a question. Sanemi's face blared red in response.
-'That's it! I'm putting my cl-'
-You lept for him, pulling him back down to the bed. You forgot you had to be kind, and slow. Sanemi never really had the kind of face that begged for such things, but that was part of the problem. Sanemi never really liked to beg.
-'No! NO! I'm sorry- it's not funny, it's- Sanemi, you know how often this happens.' He stilled, more than a little tense at the accusation. 'You are- I know it's hard, but... biting it off?'
-'Y-Yes.' He'd huff. 'I- it just feels weird.'
-'Bad weird, scary we-'
-'Like I'm going to... Embarass myself weird.'
-Your silence followed, and then Sanemi turned even further away from you. He was unwilling to pull his hand from your grasp in an effective way. Instead resorting to a very feeble wiggle and slight whine.
-'Let me go.' He mumbled.
-'No way! No way-' You rush, tugging him down to the bed. You pull him against you. He seems to soften as your breasts press into his forearm. 'That doesn't sound all that bad.'
-Sanemi would rather die. The thought of him... letting go so... early. So explicitly at your will, so weak and helpless, his only call to manhood left in the fight of your biting maw-
-Part of it excited him, he figured. But he didn't figure that deep. If he did, he'd know this and that about submission, and maybe the light sense of masochism that made the concept all that more thrilling.
-Maybe it scared him a little knowing you could hurt him there if you wanted to, and maybe he got a little hard when he got scared. Maybe Sanemi missed being scared,
-When you talk him into it, he's most reluctant to see your teeth, but you let him play with the connection between his tip and your tongue. Giving him all the power to pull away when it just gets too much.
-Your tastes buds are far different from the ribbing of your pussy. They're delicate, and you have far more control over that muscle, so when you take Sanemi fully in your mouth, he's flung to the bed.
-He's seeing god, he thinks. He can almost imagine your jaw clamping down, taking it all away from him, keeping it for yourself.
-He's enthralled by how willing he is. By how bad he wants it to be all yours. How delusional he is for thinking you'd even think this way. This is simply an act of pleasure to you, but one of Divinity to him. This is God, for he, such a simple man, cannot grasp the eccentricities of religion when they are found anywhere other than the beads of spit between his base and your lips.
-He begins sobbing, almost hoping you'll make it stop. He can't feel this good, he can't know the world feels this good. How cruel to send him back to war when he's knows the sound of a song birds throat.
-He's a head pusher. He can't help it. He feels too good, he's blacking out half way through, which isn't very long. Not at all, practically convulsing on the bed.
-'Oh!- Ah--- Y/N- Oh- God- God- Ah!' And all the ooh's and aah's as he cums sobbing down your throat.
-It's enough to spill out of your lips, and find its way back to his pubes, all covered in your spit and snot. And he's breathing heavy and shaking still because god knows that cock never really gets to cum it all away- those balls can never truly be empty.
-'Oh- god- god- help- help-' He's choking, grabbing his face to brush the tears away.
-You're a little dumbfounded. You're not sure what the fuss is, but you're excited to try deep throating him for the first time. That'll probably make him die or something, he might die-
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