#I don't write on it as actively as I would like

[witherby]

If Punch line can trigger Jason easily what would happen is she ever met Harley?

Let's explore that!

Punchline: First Session

Masterlist is Here!

"I need your help."

Harley perks up, gasping, and rushes over to hug Batman tightly.

"I never thought this day would come," she says, jumping up and down and clutching a gauntleted hand. "Yes!! Yes I would love to be your therapist! We have so much to work on, starting with your parents. I really think you never internalized the event and haven't given yourself any space to grieve after —"

Her hands get squeezed gently, recapturing her attention. Blue eyes meet white lenses, and she furrows her brow.

"Okay, that's fine!" She sighs. "Can't say I'm not disappointed, but if one of your kiddos is looking for help instead, I'm still more than hap—"

"Not one of mine," Batman gently interrupts. "This is a...very delicate case, Harley."

"What's delicate mean in this context, Batsy?" She asks. "Delicate like schizophrenic? Delicate like CPTSD? Delicate like one wrong word away from explodin' and killin' everybody in a mile radius?"

"Delicate," he says, "like...this might hit too close to home for you."

"Me?"

Batman nods. Harley hums, equal parts curious and cautious.

"Any good psychologist worth her salt won't let a personal connection get in the way of providin' aid," she tells him. "If the patient isn't somebody I can help myself, I'll help ya find someone who can. When can I meet 'em?"

--

Your file lies scattered across the floor of the cave. Harley stares wide-eyed at your picture while she trembles on her hands and knees. Bruce, having changed out of his suit, kneels beside her with a steadying hand on her back.

"Oh," she whispers, "Brucie, she's so small for her age. And her age!! Sh-she's..."

Harley shakes her head. Bruce continues rubbing small circles in her back. When she leans against him for support, he holds her upright.

"How'd he keep a kid hidden for eight years?" She whispers, voice thick. "I know I fucked off to go play Happy Family with Ivy, but..."

"Nobody knew," he says. "Harleen, don't play the blame game, not for this. He kept her a secret for a reason; no one was supposed to know."

Harley lifts her hands to her face, rubbing her eyes before any tears can well up and fall. She takes deep, calming breaths, gathering her focus, then carefully collects the papers and stands with his help. She draws a pad and pen out of her pocket.

"I ain't promising anything," she says, looking up at Bruce. "This is...this is a whole different ball game, 'specially with that chucklefuck as the daddy. But I'm gonna try, okay?"

He nods. "Take your time. You were the first person I thought of, but don't force this if it's too much."

Harley gently squeezes his hand in acknowledgement. She walks past him and down the hall towards the containment cells, heels clicking quietly against the floor. She dug out her old coat with the name tag pinned to it and even threw her hair back in a low braid to appear as non-threatening as possible. The closer she gets to your door, the more the wonders if you would've been more comfortable if she showed up in her combat getup and mallet.

"Miss Punchline?" She calls, stopping in front of your cell. A cursory glance of your environment tells her immediately that you're under-stimulated. She writes that down. "I'm Doctor Quinzel. Do ya mind if I come in and chat with you a while?"

You cease all movement. You'd been sitting with your back to the door, gently stroking the head of the teddy bear Alfred gave you while muttering Mistress Mary's nursery rhyme, but when you hear her, you practically turn into a statue. Unless she actively stares at your back, Harley can't even see you draw breath.

"Miss Punchline?" She repeats calmly. "I won't come in if you don't want, but I'd really like to talk to you."

"...Popsy talks about you, sometimes," you say. Harley can't decipher your tone, but the words make her feel cold all over. "Says he used to miss his favorite gal."

"I'm sure he's mentioned me once or twice," she says, clearing her throat. "But I'm old news. Why don't you tell me about yourself? I'm gonna punch in the door code now, okay?"

You don't move. Harley unlocks your cell and walks inside, getting a better look at how sparsely decorated it is. The bed is clearly unused and half of the activities left here would cause an ordinary child to lose interest in about an hour without company. Overall, Bruce and his family are keeping you in a dreary room. If she accomplishes nothing else today, it's a guarantee that she's gonna get you better accommodations.

Harley walks around the room until she can see you face-to-face. Once she's in your periphery, your eyes snap to her and follow her every movement like a predator. She lowers herself to the ground, taking a seat a few feet away from you.

"There you are," she says kindly. Your smile is just as placid as the one in your photo. "I like ya make-up. The swirly pattern on your cheeks is very cute."

You don't respond, though your smile widens briefly. Highly receptive to praise. Your eyes don't leave hers, scanning, assessing, calculating. Harley doesn't feel like you're about to attack her, but you're clearly juggling something around in your mind.

"Bet you're thinking about mine," she continues. "Normally I like puttin' on the face paint, but sometimes my pores gotta breathe, you know? Well — the pores I got left." She glances down at her hands, paper white like the rest of her body from her dip in a vat of acid. With relief, Harley notes that your unpainted skin is a healthy color. Even though the bar's lower than Hell, it's nice to know that at least the Joker didn't immediately treat you to a dunk of your own.

"Punchline, I'm gonna be frank with you," she says.

"Nice to meetcha, Frank," you chirp, grinning mischievously. Harley lifts a brow.

"That was funny," she praises. "I know your, eh, Popsy, he places a lot of value on bein' funny. Used to say nothin' was worth the effort if it didn't amuse him at the end of the day. I'm sure you know that already."

"A giggle a day keeps the boredom away!" You say, pitch and cadence matching that of your father's. Harley knows that the grip on her pen is too tight. She breathes deep and forces herself to relax. "Ohh, hit a nerve, Frank?"

"I'm doin' just fine," she says. "What's boredom look like for you and Popsy?"

You separate your hands, fingers splayed wide, and make explosion noises.

"Do you get caught up in that explosion?"

Your smile doesn't change but your eyes get sharp. Harley makes a note.

"It's hard keepin' him entertained all day, every day," she says. "I would know. But I'm gonna tell ya somethin' your popsy probably never has."

Harley scoots a tad closer to you, reaching her hand out and gently taking one of yours. She can feel every bone in your hand and has to utilize all of her training to school her expression.

"It's not your job to make yer popsy happy. In fact, it's not your job to make any adult happy. Grown-ups shouldn't rely on their children for emotional regulation."

"Couldn't rely on you, either, could be?" You snicker. "Since you ran away."

"I left him because he was treatin' me like dirt," Harley says, a little more firm than necessary. "He's real good at drawin' you in, Punchline. Shows you an ounce of praise that makes you feel invincible, makes you wanna do anything he asks to get more of it."

Harley lets go of your hand to tuck a lock of emerald green hair behind your right ear, brushing gently against the shell. The edges are distorted, flatter than your left.

"He's also real good at draggin' you through the mud, makin' you feel like everything's your fault. Like you got no choice but to make it up t'him. Ya never wanna get on his bad side cause he really makes you feel it."

You tilt your head away from her hand, eyes dropping back down to the teddy bear Alfred gave you. You resume petting it, slightly faster and rougher than before. Harley makes a note.

"His anger's always more powerful than his joy, Punchline," she says, "but both of them are destructive. I wanna help ya break away from his cycle."

"No thanks," you say, "if I wanted to be a washed-up, third-rate party clown, I would!"

Harley feels a wave of pity for you. It's obvious you're just regurgitating your father's words back at her, and she's not surprised. Change doesn't happen overnight, especially not for you.

There's so much work to do, but Harley's not afraid. You may look and behave similarly to the Joker, but you're young and still impressionable and already starting to pull away from him without even realizing it.

"I can tell yer getting upset, and that's the last thing I want," she says, climbing to her feet, "so I think this is a good stopping point for today. But I'd really like to see you again. Would you be alright with that?"

You blow a raspberry at her, then cackle. Harley exhales sharply through her nose, giving you a fond smile, and pats your head as she steps past you and opens the cell door.

She can do this. She will do this. For you.

But, first thing's first.

"Brucie, you're kidding me with the furnishings! How's the richest man on the planet gonna put a kid in such a shitty room!? Don't look at me like that, mister. You brought me in t'do a job and I'm gonna do it right!!"

[ariadne-mouse]

For the "I wish you would write a fic where…" I don't know if this counts because it's not a new fic, but:

"Was? Essek? I thought you were out of town?"

Caleb wakes up with obsidian flakes of a'a in his hair and and no memory of the last few years. His very-new boyfriend has adopted his cat, there's a court case for his attemped murder, and he might have been a ghost?

A followup to The Fire Kept Closest, from Caleb's POV, filling in the timejump to the epilogue.

Thank you for the ask! It took me a minute to get to this ask game, but here we are. I am not writing exactly to the prompt, but I hope you like this 830-word slice of post-fic Volcaleb nonetheless!

-

"I would like to go, I think."

Essek paused where he had just gathered a scoop of cat kibble. The awaiting dish lay on the floor, empty. "Are you sure?"

"Ja," Caleb answered. He folded the local newspaper he had been reading in half, the headline visible: Corporate Clash: Cerberus takes the stand. "I know it's best my situation stays out of the spotlight, at least for now, but I want him to see me. To see my face, and know that I know." His expression darkened. "I want him to sweat."

At Essek's feet, Frumpkin yowled his impatience, unaware of corporations, or bureaucracy, or indeed the significance of newspapers beyond the fact that they were sometimes fun to sit on.

"Calm down, calm down," Essek tutted, and gave the beast his meal. He smoothed a hand down Frumpkin's back, thinking. "I'll go with you, if you really want to go."

Caleb smiled grimly. "Danke. I would like that. But I have an idea, also - you can help."

-

Vence Nuthaleus cleaned up well in a suit, and he knew it. It was unfortunate that the volcano on Rumblecusp had popped its top as soon as it had, but he was still safely ensconced in respectability - and more importantly, plausible deniability. Research was only as good as records available, and his land use recommendation report had been scientifically sound with the data from the island's active seismometer network.

It didn't even alarm him that he was playing a kind of mutually assured destruction game with Cerberus. They wanted to publicly shed him as a "bad actor", especially convenient given his contractor status - but if they did, he'd reveal they had been the ones to disconnect the last seismometer. He had enough leverage in writing to make the accusation compelling, and they knew it. The thing they might most want to pin on him... well, they didn't have any evidence of that. All told, it was in Cerberus's best interest to protect him. And so he wore his most approachable suit, and a polite smile, and answered questions as earnestly as he could when he was on the stand. Mardoon Estate only wanted money, after all, and Cerberus certainly had plenty of that. Vence didn't need to be scapegoat for it all to work out eventually.

The courtroom around him was full for the spectacle. The door creaked open every so often as the gawkers and media came and went, like bees buzzing on a hive. He sometimes saw familiar faces from the island: Dr. Vilya, Beauregard, Thelyss. Today the last of these was sitting in one of the back rows by himself, glaring at Vence like he always did when he was there. Too bad; being a stuck-up trust fund baby wouldn't help Thelyss here.

It was some minutes before Vence's attention was drawn by a spot in the standing room in the back that had not moved at all for some time. Even as his mouth answered the current question on autopilot, his eyes were drawn to look at the vacuum of stillness.

A dead man was looking back at him.

Vence's words curdled in his throat, choking his breath.

He was there. Caleb Widogast was there, standing among the throng.

"Mr. Nuthaleus?" prompted the examiner.

"I... I..."

The ghost - it could only be a ghost - stared at him with those eerie blue eyes, unblinking. He was dressed like he had been, for a hike on the mountain. There was even a lightweight heatsuit half-zipped and tied around his waist.

He looked exactly like he had when he had died. When--

Vence couldn't pull his gaze away. "Could- could you repeat the question?"

The examiner repeated it, and again Vence did not hear.

Nearby, Thelyss was standing up. He favored Vence with a last look of contempt before making for the double doors. The crowd parted to let him pass, but Widogast did not move. And Thelyss... walked right past him, like he wasn't there.

A chill rolled down Vence's spine and his breathing came faster. He could hear a ringing noise, his vision was narrowing.

With effort, he turned a smile to the judge. "I'm sorry, I think I need a moment."

When he turned back, Caleb Widogast was gone.

-

Outside in the hallway, Essek leaned on the wall next to Caleb, who sat heavily on a bench. The heat suit was stuffed back into a bag.

"Feel any better?"

A muscle in Caleb's face twitched, and his hand balled in a fist. "A little. I don't know. Seeing him-" His breath left him in a gust. "It was harder than I expected."

Essek touched his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.  "Come, then. Let's go. We can learn what happened later. Frumpkin is waiting for you at home."

This last tactic was always a surefire way to bring a little smile back to Caleb's face, and it proved to be so now.

“Ja,” Caleb agreed, straightening up.  “Let’s go home.”

[taylorman2274]

Today Is Where Your Book Begins (Chapter I)

With the final chapter having concluded, the entirety of Teyvat has come to realize that everything in their life has been one massive storybook. Now they have broken free from their predetermined endings and wish to write their own story. While some remain content with their lives, others recall the reader of their story offering them many a helping hand in the past, and wish for them to witness their future.

Content Warning(s): An Attempt was Made to Guess Genshin Impact's Ending as of Version 5.3.

Notes: SAGAU, GN!Reader, Aether!Traveler, Lumine!Sibling

Word Count: 1k

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Genshin Impact's story is over.

...Well to be more precise, the Teyvat arc of Genshin Impact's story is over.

The Traveler, Aether, was finally able to reunite with their sibling, Lumine; and after a long heart-to-heart conversation, they were able to hug it out in the end. To be honest, it left you a bit teary-eyed.

Now, nearly all of the playable (and yet-to-be-released) characters were gathered in an undisclosed location with Aether, Lumine, and Paimon taking center stage.

The crowd was cheering, whooping, and hollering. They praised the Traveler for all of his deeds, for he had become their hero from another world. He had spared them all from their predetermined fate.

Soon enough, a 'Speech! Speech! Speech!' chant began to grow from the crowd. You couldn't help yourself but join along with the chant as well. Aether could only chuckle and scratch the back of his head, a subtle blush forming on his cheeks. Eventually, he urged the crowd to quiet down and began to give an endearing speech.

The speech was truly one of the best things that the Genshin writing team had ever conjured up, and that was saying something! It involved a lot of heart-touching tributes, nostalgic memories, and kindhearted thanks to many of their friends.

Aether thanked the people from the eight nations for accepting them into their capital city. He thanked the Archons for helping them learn more about Teyvat as a whole. He thanked Paimon for being the best guide in the whole world. He thanked Lumine for finally coming back to him.

"...And thank you, Benefactor from Beyond the Stars, for bestowing upon me the strength needed to complete my journey. I hope that fate allows us to meet in the future."

...

...?

'Benefactor from Beyond the Stars?' you questioned yourself. 'Are they talking about me? I don't know anyone else who would fit that description.'

As the game let you gain control of your character and gave you the rewards for completing the Archon Quest, more thoughts continued to rummage in your mind. This chaotic mess that was your brain continued to clutter your mind until only a single thought was left more prominent than the rest.

...

'Holy shit Genshin just made me canon.'

...

...

...

'Probably one of my greatest achievements to be honest.'

Looking at the time, you see that it's approaching midnight. Given that your day tomorrow is packed to the brim with various tasks and activities, you decide to log off and get some sleep.

"Alright, Genshin," you spoke to your computer with a fond gaze. "It was fun while it lasted. Y'all have fun without me."

You exited the game, closed the launcher, and shut off your computer.

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"You don't know what you have until it's gone."

Aether has heard this quote many times before, but he's never liked it that much. He's always known what he's had:

Lumine.

Lumine is everything to Aether just as Aether is to Lumine. That's how it has always been throughout their lives. They were inseparable up until their encounter with the Unknown God. How can you not know something inseparable from you?

It wasn't until recently that Aether heard another version of this quote that seemed to align with his point of view better.

"Appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had."

500 years had come and gone before the two siblings were able to reunite again. They are always constantly worried for each other, that something fatal might happen to them, permanently separating the two forever.

But they don't need to worry about that anymore. They are finally back together.

All thanks to Paimon. All thanks to the seven Archons. All thanks to their many friends across Teyvat.

...

All thanks to their one friend not from Teyvat.

The Benefactor from Beyond the Stars.

Although Aether was aware of them since that fated day on the beach underneath Stormbearer Point, he was powerless to push them away without his former strength.

At first, he was afraid. He could not control any part of his body. Not when he was only a puppet in the eyes of this being.

He hated not being in control. It reminded him of what it felt like to be weak.

Then, he became curious, the being didn't seem to wish him harm. Instead, it appeared as if the being was wishing him to succeed. Slowly but steadily, the being helped him regain his former strength. All the while not asking for anything in return.

'What could they possibly want from me?' Aether pondered.

Then, he became content. Eventually, he began to learn the being's tendencies when fighting and what they wanted to expect out of him. They became two minds in one body, flawlessly traversing the environment and slaying any opponents that stood in their path.

This feeling of always knowing somebody's got your back. Somebody who is on your power level and can match your fighting prowess.

...They haven't had this feeling since they lost Lumine.

Then, he understood. Teyvat is a storybook. The ley lines are the words on the page. The people are characters. Their destinies are just endings written down by the Primordial One, the author. They have never had a choice in their lifetime. Everything has followed according to the words on the pages time and time again.

This being, the one who has been with them since the beginning of their journey, is a reader.

A reader who wishes to change the storybook so that its ending is incomplete. That way, the people within the book will be able to write as many pages of their own destiny as they want until they sign off on their own ending.

When Alice first told them this, he and Paimon were more shocked than they had ever been before. This was the secret that the Hexenzirkel had been secretly guarding throughout their entire existence?

It was honestly hard to believe.

Nevertheless, he is extremely thankful to the reader for helping him throughout his journey. Just as he is towards Paimon and their friends across Teyvat.

In all honesty, words may not be enough to describe how thankful he is. Paimon and all of his friends can probably see that.

So when he decided to thank the Benefactor from Beyond the Stars during his speech, knowing that they were present.

"I hope that fate allows us to meet in the future."

He absolutely meant it when he said that.

They deserve to be rewarded for their hard work; And by the Archons is he going to find a way meet them.

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Author's Notes: Ta-da! A new series has arrived!

I hope that the way I've portrayed Teyvat was easy to understand, it's unlike anything that's been written in the SAGAU fandom to my knowledge.

I'll be going back through this over the next couple of days for any errors or misspellings I may have written. Probably gonna be a bunch of POV mistakes. But otherwise, I hope you enjoy the first chapter of this new series!

[shoresoftheshadowlands]

Option three: I would not go crazy by the end of the week from not talking or interacting with people, this is something I do on my own from time to time. I would however become debilitation depressed, because while I am a chronic introvert, and I am almost nonverbal ASD unless I have to speak, it is uncomfortable to me, but it doesn't mean I don't care about other people. Being an introvert means I get mentally drained by outside activities rapidly, it has nothing to do with not wanting to be with or near others.

If everyone else on earth except for me vanished, I could probably survive for a little while, really depends on how long the lights and internet stays active without maintenance and how quickly I could download and print survival guides. Probably find a car and live in the walmart, use the garden section to utilize the food most likely to rot first. non perishable foods will last a while, will be stale and may not be the most tasty after some years but unlikely to kill. Lots of farming out here so existing land could help with growing essentials like potatos, there's tons of chickens out here so I'd probably make it for a while. But the crippling lonliness would weigh on me. There's no one to draw for. No one to write for. Loved ones I'll never see again, my partner who I love more than life itself, the imaginative worlds we make being no more would be more than I could bear. Would the world want me to exist without them? Would it be cowardly to follow them into the dark and leave the earth to whatever comes after us?

Third option: You don't go crazy when no one is left, you become depressed and do your best to survive for what its worth.

New introvert extrovert test just dropped!

My brain woke me up today with a premise it wouldn't let go of: imagine you are the last human being on Earth. Not zombies, no dead bodies, just, every human being gone except you.

Don't worry about whether you'll get the meds or assistance you need - imagine all of that taken care of somehow. This is just a thought experiment, after all. You find yourself alone, and you *will* survive this physically.

Also, don't worry about why or how it happened. Again, thought experiment. Doesn't matter if it was alien abduction or the rapture or whatever, that won't have any further impact on your life here and now. Just, there are no other people around anymore. None.

No nuance, pick one. Yes, yes, we all have people we would miss, and yes you can have a anthropomorphic volleyball or whatever. But you gotta pick one.

[contamination-zone]

What do you think will happen if Fresh needs a host desperately or else he will die and the only one near by is CB?

Would he take them as a host or will he just die?

maybe I wasn't clean in that last ask? [this one] but yeah, the only reason Fresh Didn't eat CB when they first met was that CB has a lot of connections to the void, as in, soaked in it. Actively food poisoning, Fresh couldn't eat him if it tried. It would only kill him faster.

Some yipping about the hows and whys of Fresh and CB's friendship + more general thoughts on how Fresh would be friends with anyone at all. which I think...? I can add to this post? feels congruent. to me.

There are a few criteria I go through if I'm seriously figuring out how to write Fresh being friends with someone. If I can't figure something out for all of these, I have to make excuses and stuff and it really just gets out of hand/starts feeling contrived.

1.) why fresh wouldn't just eat them: - explained by the aforementioned stuff earlier.

2.) what does fresh Gain from a relationship: -Cb is a Little Guy, [popular trope to have big monster and little dude, so Fresh thought it would be good to drag him along [after a bit of convincing by CB]]

3.) why didn't fresh freak out and kill them / distance himself / whatever, once he figured out he found he liked them [I talk further at the end too***]: -CB operates on cartoon logic [part void part just how his au works to me], so there would be... a lot of comedic near-misses as Fresh tried to kill him but failed. [I do have an emotional moment where stuff winds down and Fresh has the opportunity to stick a bone thought cb's back, ala. pacifrisk reference, but is unable to go through with it as well. because. its cute :-)]

so!! yep. Fresh is stuck with that little freak </3

***usually in canon I see this as... characters like pacifrisk, who were very, determined? very willful about being friends. Fresh could not push them away, no matter how hard he tried.

A normal sans like characters I don't think have the will-power to do something like that... to make friends with a murderer. Like how sans reacted to the anomaly, he didn't try to befriend you after a bit, he just tried to get you to give up. Papyrus could make friends with Fresh, believing him able to get better, I just think Sans would be too cynical the vast majority of the time. [I think... that is a bit mean to say, because he felt bad for the anomaly at one point. but in the genocide route, even when he tries to appeal to you [if you really were his friend], its all in service of making you give up. He doesn't really think you could be friends at that point, he's grasping at straws, nearly given up.]

Characters who either gain a Lot by Keeping fresh around them [how nightmare falls into this for me] or characters who care very deeply about and would keep pushing no matter how desperately Fresh tries to distance himself. [color :-)]

[note! I am very nervous about my analysis, so I will not take critique on this. I will block you. sorry!!! fragile state in my life✌️]

[wisteria-lodge]

2 things about Lily

It's obvious that she was the one to defeat Voldemort the first time around, not Harry, but Rowling refuses to elaborate on the spell, saying that she cast it accidentally (which... yeah sure, but then she created a world where only one mother and child could do it out of love... like did other children that suffered were not loved enough? oh i so dislike that). I don't know why Rowling does it. Like I always wanted it to be an actual spell that she (and James) researched and did as part of their back-up plan, but noooooo. A woman? Win against the big bad? In the 90s?? Noooo

Lily grew up with two people that we get to know intimately, and loved them dearly. Two very miserable, envious people, who likely hid their accents and the fact that they are of working class, two people who did everything, and sacrificed many things in order to be around characters who where wealthy. Two social climbers. And you know what Lily also did? This has to be deliberate. Like, I don't think that it's a bad thing. I think that Lily definitely wasn't as insane about social climbing as Severus and Petunia (I consider social mobility to be a positive thing!!), buuut she too married into money. So there is that.

I find it sad that the prospect of Lily being crazy ambitious and wanting to have better things are always portrayed as bad in fics, if it is discussed at all. You could have made her into a person who dreams about making it and give her a conflict about marrying into money, feeling like she will become a fake, and still craving that security! But nooooooo. Pefect perfection or a sleazy seductress, nothing else ever

Extremely good points. Wanting social stability is just a real, relatable thing, and it's got to be a lot for Lily, being told you're magic... and ADDITIONALLY learning that the power structure of the magical world that you live in now is super prejudiced against you? And there is an active dark wizard *currently* targeting people like you?

Also the sacrificial magic being cast accidentally never made sense. Harry does the same thing (I guess) on purpose at the end, with the result that all of Voldemort's spells have trouble "sticking," because Harry sacrificed himself for EVERYBODY? But I mean Regulus also sacrificed himself to protect people from Voldemort, he didn't have to die. Dumbledore willingly died to protect... Harry, Draco, Snape? Shouldn't that have had some magical effect?

It honestly would have been *so* much easier to say that Lily defeated Voldemort with a spell that sacrificed the caster's life. That's very cool, old-magic vibes.

But... this slots into an larger trend with the way JKR writes passivity and self-negation as heroic traits. The best example of this is Newt Scamander, her hero with the central traits "neutral" and "pacifist." But even with Harry... there's a reason he doesn't level up his core spells, and is most heavily associated with a disarming spell that he learns in year 2 and a shield spell he learns in year 3. JKR actively doesn't want him to be a combat character. It is *true* that Harry does not cast a single spell on-page in the entire first book. He does more magic later, but that original tendency is still there: there's a reason most of Harry's level-ups consist of loot given to him by loved ones, and not so much skills that he improves. JKR's ethos on power (expressed through Dumbledore) is that the people who handle power best are the people who don't want it.

And unfortunately... leveling up your spells on purpose... now that sounds like something that a person who WANTS POWER would do. Casting super duper powerful spells accidently (which harry also does, constantly) (and Lily does, of course) ... now *that* is much more morally pure.

[marylight098]

꧁Blossoming Love ꧂

Summary: It was a normal day for you: tending the garden... painting... taking care of your aunt... being the healer of your village... amongst other things. That's until you find a dying kitsune close to your village pleading for your help; in a world where mythical creatures marginalized humans and humans tried their best to live hidden from them all. But you weren't just going to leave him there to die (even if you were full of fear). As always... empathy was one of the biggest weaknesses a human could have. And sadly you were one of those humans.

Rating: 🔞 mature bruh

Couple💕: Jeon Jungkook/Reader

Tags/Warnings 🚨🗯️: Fluff and Smut, Spit Kink, Hybrid Jeon Jungkook, Kitsune, Fantasy, alternate universe, Light Masochism, Dirty Talk, romantic, Animal Instincts, Past Lives, Oral Sex, Loss of Virginity, healer of the town, human and kitsune, Painter Jeon Jungkook, Painting, draw me like one of your french girls lol, Fox, Masturbation, some choking, He loves the smell of your arousal, Creampie

Word count: 15,541

Side notes: i usually write about dreams I’ve had. This is one of them. And if you see typos or something similar… english is not my first language; sorry 🤡 Im just testing the waters here… i usually post only in Ao3…. Meh hope you dont hate it lol

Pic of JK by @jkxxth1 (tiktok)

🌸

Your hometown was small; it only consisted of a few houses and a small plaza where everybody gathered to do their activities or do festivals. All of you were part of the small percentage of humans who still resided in this world full of mythical creatures; looked down upon because of your “weak useless nature”.

But the majority of you didn't care much for the opinions of the other races. You all knew you were so much more than what they had stamped on your foreheads.

You smiled to yourself as you painted the mountains on your canvas, thinking how lucky you felt to be part of these people. But that was not the only reason you were smiling right now… you were also smiling because you could hear your aunt fighting in the background with one of your chickens because it had pooped on her balcony.

You were laughing now as your aunt kept arguing with the chicken as if she could understand her. She quickly noticed, giving you a glare. But even though she was trying to be intimidating at first, she ended up giving in with a smile.

“Don't laugh, _____. This is a serious situation.”

“Yes, auntie… it's very serious that one of our chickens shat on your balcony.” You nodded and continued laughing.

She shook her head with a sigh and a smile, accepting defeat. “Could you at least bring me a bucket of water to clean it? My ankle still hurts from the fall. You would do me a great —”

“Of course, auntie.” You cut her off, giving her a reassuring smile. “No need to explain yourself; I understand.”

“Thank you, darling.” She returned the smile.

“I'll make sure to watch over your painting so the chicken doesn't leave his… “signature” on it.” She said, side-eyeing the chicken.

You laughed once more before making your way to the village’s well.

Your aunt wasn't the type to ask for favors; she always believed in being independent and doing things for her own growth as a person, and of course so she could give her all to the family and dear friends. So on rare occasions like these, you and others close to her, were always glad to help and return all that love she had always given you throughout the years.

For you, she was a role model you aspired to be.

“Great… There is a spider on the edge of the well. And it’s a big one.” You sarcastically smiled as you kept your distance; your bucket now placed on the floor as your hands rested on your hips.

Your village was in an open area where there were no trees. But around it, a forest resided and so did the well of the village… and spiders. Which was one of your biggest fears.

You didn't want to kill it. You may be scared of them but you know they are part of nature and you have to learn to live with them.

You thought of using a stick to get it off but you knew that was just going to be chaos: not knowing where it was going to run to. And you certainly didn't want it crawling up your legs or arms.

A chill ran up your spine just at the thought.

So you just decided it was best to ask someone else for help.

Grabbing your bucket, you turned around to go back to the village.

“P- Ple -ease help m-me.”

You had only taken a few steps when you heard the pleads; the voice was not recognizable to you. It was a man’s…

With your heart almost popping out of your chest, you quickly turned around to be aware of where the man was just in case you needed to defend yourself. But…

You were faced with a pale weak man whose face was covered by a fox mask and hands were placed over a wound under his ribcage, which had and was noticeably bleeding.

“A kitsune…” you spoke under your breath.

How many hours had this man been bleeding? And why hadn't he been healed? But most importantly of all: what was he doing here alone? He was a kitsune… a mythical creature that was supposed to be with his kind right now; not here which was really far away. Was he running away from someone? Was this a hoax?

“Please. I-I’m not here to— hurt you.”

He had noticed your uncertainty and alertness.

You didn't want to believe him.. you really didn't. You were scared of what could happen and the dangers you could be putting your village in. But you could see the sincerity in his eyes that stood out through the mask. Plus he was bleeding to death, what more proof could you ask for?

Dropping your bucket once more, you hurried up to him, placing his arm around your shoulders and letting him lean on you. You were struggling obviously; you weren't as strong as a man. But you could get through. And, thankfully, the village wasn't far away.

“Than—argh!— Thank y-you, madam.” He grunted as he tried not to put so much weight on you.

“Don't force yourself to talk. And you don't have to thank me; it's immoral to leave a man to their death per se.”

Plus you don't have to address me formally either. You thought to yourself.

You could tell he wanted to say more but kept quiet.

As soon as you were back at the village, you immediately began to call for help. Only a few of them came to help since others were intimidated that he was a kitsune; it was understandable. Kitsunes were known for mischief, being playful and deceiving. But you knew that was not the main reason they were intimidating. It was mostly because of their high rank amongst you living creatures; they were known also for their riches alongside other mythical creatures.

One of the villagers saw you struggling with the injured man, so he rapidly went to his other side to help you carry him. Your aunt was also one to respond, quickly going inside your house to prepare the necessary materials to help with his wound before you got there. She also prepared the large table you had for these types of emergencies to lay him on.

“Do you need anything else, ____?” Your aunt pointed at the items she had placed for you to work with.

You shook your head. “No; it’s all I need; thank you.”

She left the room quickly with the man that had helped, knowing it would be more comfortable for you and him that way. But even so, she stayed close by just in case.

Your hands began working instantly; cleaning up the area first. There were a lot of questions in your mind and they all involved the kitsune. How exactly did he end up here? Who was following him? Who or what attacked him? Who was he?

But you reserved the questions for later; making him talk in this state wasn't a very bright idea. Right now you had to focus on patching him and making him feel less pain.

Surprisingly, he wasn't flinching as much as you thought he would be; this is definitely not his first time being injured like this. Only some low grunts and furrowed eyebrows could be seen and heard.

After cleaning up, you grabbed your well-known elixir that you used for wounds like these. Us humans didn't have magic nor any special abilities. But you did have the desire to innovate and progress.

“W-what is that?” He asked, still having some difficulty breathing.

You momentarily looked up to him, eyes more visible since you are closer now. You gulped, remembering what you were treating.

You felt intimidated for a second, remembering all those tales you had heard and moments you had seen with your own eyes where creatures like him would take advantage of your people.

He noticed.

“I a-al- mm- already said, I-I’m not going to h-hurt you.” He gulped with his eyes closed as he tolerated the pain.

“Trust me…” he opened his eyes to look at you. “I would never hurt you.” He reassured you.

And, again, you could see the sincerity through his eyes so you relaxed once more.

“This… this is an elixir I made using an old recipe my village has. It’s for curing wounds like you have. But I will have to add something else for this one.”

“Why?” He asked.

“Because I can tell this was made by another kitsune by the shape of it and because it doesn't want to close. A kitsune’s main weakness will always be their own kind.” You replied.

“How… do you k-know this?”

“Because I’m the healer of my town.” You smiled at him as you opened the other elixir. “And I've treated a few like you before.”

“Like… me?” He weakly pointed at himself.

“Yes. But those were already friends or family with the village people. We don't usually allow Kitsunes here… or any other kind of creature… you know… for safety reasons.” You nervously laughed; still trying to make peace with him as if he hadn't stated enough that he is not going to hurt you.

Again, he noticed the way your eyes immediately averted to his wounds after speaking. He didn't say anything this time; he knew he'd have to instead show through actions his words. He just remained in silence as you finished with his wound; not wanting to stare at you so much to not make you nervous… even though he wanted to; the reason why he would take occasional sneaky glances.

But he couldn't watch you finish, as he soon fell asleep from exhaustion.

.

.

.

Your people were quick to ask you questions in the morning, worried about the unknown kitsune at their village; except for the few mythical creatures that resided there, since they didn't feel the right to judge. And you explained to each one of them about the situation, trying to remain calm as you did to not freak them out even more. You, yourself, were also a bit worried. But you had decided to trust and have the faith that the kitsune wouldn't take advantage of your village. His sincere eyes still hadn’t left your mind; you knew they were real; you felt it. So it was better to trust your heart rather than your anxiety.

As you finished explaining to one of the villagers, your aunt called you from the balcony of your house.

“He’s awake. And he is asking for you.” She called.

You gave your goodbyes to the villager and went rapidly to your house.

“Thanks for letting me know, auntie.” You smiled as your hand reached the door handle, but it was stopped by another familiar hand.

“You sure you’ll be alright all by yourself?” She asked with concerned eyes.

“I'll be fine, auntie. I'm still going to be careful so don't worry.”

“Ok.” She nodded, still noticeably concerned but decided to trust your words, leaving the area. But letting someone know to be attentive just in case.

As you entered, you noticed him standing as he curiously inspected the medicines on your shelf, one hand pressing on the wound.

But that was not the only thing you noticed. There were scars… old deep scars on his back. As if he had received some sort of punishment. You let it go; it was not the time, place nor situation to ask something so personal. It was not like he was going to stay for long anyway; getting close to him was unnecessary.

“Well you healed quickly.” You spoke with a smile, coming closer to him. But not too close.

“And that is thanks to you and these… potions? Are you a witch?” He asked as his eyes now laid on you.

You chuckled. “No, I'm not a witch. I'm just a plain human with very intelligent ancestors who crafted all those medicines and I happened to perfect them.”

“That’s… incredible!”

There it was again: that sincerity.

You blushed. “Thank you umm…”

“Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.”

He still had his mask on. You were so curious of what was underneath, but did not want to disrespect him so you remained silent.

“Can I check your wound?” You asked him.

“Y- yes, of course.” He replied as he snapped out of a trance. A trance you had put him on since he arrived there.

He was already shirtless so you were quick to get to the wound, removing its bandages first. As you did, you became really conscious of how close you were with this kitsune, feeling his breathing collide with your face occasionally. You were trying so hard not to touch him. But it was inevitable.

“Sorry if I'm being inappropriate.” You said nervously.

“No, not at all.”

“I don't mind.” He added.

You ignored his last comment, not wanting to think it had another meaning behind it.

He just said it casually, that’s all. You repeated in your mind.

After finishing checking his wound and adding more medicine, you patched him up once again with clean bandages.

“Ok so…” you clapped your hands together.

“Good news is, you have healed almost completely; which not only has to do with my medicines, but because you are a kitsune and kitsunes heal faster if treated properly.”

He nodded.

“Bad news is… you’ll have to stay a few days more to make sure it heals completely.” You added with a sympathetic look, knowing he probably wouldn't like the idea.

“But you don't have—“

“I'm ok with it.”

You didn't get to finish your sentence; he already had the answer as if he had been expecting your suggestion.

“Oh! Ok. Ummm… Jungkook, right?”

He nodded; sparkle in his eyes as excitement ran through his veins knowing he would get to wake up to your presence.

“You can keep resting on the couch; that will be your bed for now if you don't mind.”

“I don't.”

“Perfect then let me notify the village.”

You were about to leave when he stopped you.

“Wait! Can I come with you?” He asked.

“S-sure.” You replied, taken aback by his sudden request.

“Let me take this off first.” He added as he took off his mask.

Your lips fell apart, taking in the beauty the kitsune held as he laid the mask on the couch. It was true what the rumors said: kitsunes were born with undeniable and inexplicable beauty. But it was understandable since they were born to charm. They always got their way; it was rare to see a kitsune who wasn't able to seduce or charm their target; they had a gift.

“Don't wanna scare anyone more than they already are.” He nervously chuckled as his hand ruffled his hair.

Your curiosity had been fed. And you couldn't help but to become shy and self conscious. Being around an attractive person always makes you feel nervous.

“It’s— it's ok.” You struggled to speak for a second. “They will eventually warm up to you; we’ve had kitsunes before so don't worry so much.”

As he saw your reassuring smile, the kitsune wondered if the rumors he had heard about humans were true: that they secretly possessed the ability to enchant or seduce other creatures like himself. As time passed, more and more creatures of high rank were eloping with humans to the point where it was getting normal. Things were changing, but the hate and contempt against humans was still there. And all of you knew it was going to be hard for it to leave. But he didn't care about what other people thought; he saw all creatures as equals even if they were mortals. And right now, he was ready to risk it all for you.

You both went outside to greet the villagers; you being up front and Jungkook following behind like a puppy, trying his best to make people like him.

You introduced Jungkook to each one of the villagers, also explaining the situation and why he was going to stay a few days more. It was necessary and it was also common courtesy; it was a random stranger that had entered the village and the “cherry on the top” being that he was a kitsune. This way people could be alert for any weird movements from the kitsune.

Jungkook bowed multiple times to each one of the villagers with a “thank you” and “sorry for the inconvenience”. He had already conquered the hearts of many. Not only because of his cuteness but, of course, because of his beauty. You could tell some of your friends were already trying to flirt with him. And you just couldn't help but to shake your head at them. Of course, there were always the doubtful ones that still didn't trust him. But did not treat him badly either.

The two kitsunes we had were the quickest to bond with him, for obvious reasons.

“Nice to meet you, Jungkook. I’m Jimin and this is Hoseok.” Both bowed to him and Jungkook did the same. It was a common thing between their kind.

“Glad to see there is another kitsune as handsome as us staying here too.” Jimin said, making Hoseok roll his eyes.

“He is only staying here for a few days until he gets better.” You quickly intervened.

“Oh, ok.” Hoseok said, a little bit disappointed he wasn't staying; he could feel he wasn't a bad guy. But it was understandable to him and Jimin.

Jungkook’s expression changed as soon as you said those words and both of them saw right through their fellow kitsune. They both looked at each other, knowing all too well this situation: a kitsune falling for a human. They both had eloped with humans after all.

Well at least they hoped this was the case. They truly wanted you to be happy and being taken care of; both of them knew how devoted you were with your people. So they saw this as an opportunity for all that love to be returned to you.

After Jimin’s fanboying over Jungkook, you said your goodbyes to them and ended up in front of your house once again. But before you both entered, you remembered the painting you had left outside to dry. You needed to take it inside; chickens, pigeons and kids… they were all hazards to the painting.

“Oh! Give me a second.” You said to him.

The painting had turned out satisfying enough for you to showcase and you were proud. Even though you had some interruptions while trying to finish it… you were able to finish it on time.

Jungkook’s eyes followed you as you grabbed it and went inside the house, following behind.

“Were you the one to paint that?” He pointed, as you placed it on the table.

“Yes, I did.” You smiled, proceeding to cover up the painting with a blanket to protect it.

“Then teach me how to paint.”

You quickly turned to him, mouth falling open at his bold unexpected request.

“Pardon?”

“I want you to teach me how to paint, madam.” He said, taking a few steps closer to you.

“I… I’m no teacher, sir. And you are only staying for a couple of days.” You backed up a little.

“What if I wanted to stay longer?” His eyes sparkled.

Silence.

You had a lot of doubts at that moment. A random stranger had appeared out of nowhere and now he wanted to live there. And it's not like he seemed to not have money nor a home. You could tell that he was from a wealthy family because of his clothing.

“Why do you want to stay?” You asked.

“Just a hunch.”

“A hunch?” You repeated him, and he just nodded with a soft smile, showing one of his dimples.

Kitsunes were known to be very intuitive and spiritual, and you knew this very well. But you didn't think there was any purpose in him staying here when he clearly had it all. But you also knew that was a very ignorant thought. Still… why stay here?

A chuckle couldn't help but to escape your mouth at his absurd response. “You are a wealthy kitsune Jeon Jungkook, why would you want to stay here?”

“I may look like I don't, but I prefer simplicity over luxury.”

“And how can I trust you?”

“Give me a month and I'll prove to you and your village that I am worthy of staying here.”

You took a deep breath and exhaled, fear and worry crippling on you.

It wouldn't be fair to not give him an opportunity like the other kitsunes had. And besides… if he were to turn against you all… you not only had two kitsunes as your allies, but also a werewolf, a nymph and a fallen angel. It was a weird combination you had to admit, but a powerful one.

“I’ll talk to the village. But I do not guarantee anything.”

And his smile grew into an enthusiastic grin.

. . .

“I think we were wrong about him.” Your aunt said as you both sipped some chamomile tea on her balcony, watching the kitsune before you try to convince a kid it was time to go to bed after playing with him for hours. It was a funny sight indeed.

“It's only been a week, auntie. At least my trust isn't there yet.”

“Oh, come on. He has bonded with the village so well as if he had lived here for weeks already. People love him; he has helped with so many things.''

“I find it highly amusing how you were the most defensive about him staying here and now look at you.”

The kid had now started to run with Jungkook’s mask and he was now not only trying to get him to bed, but also trying to save his precious dignity.

You snorted out a laugh, making you cover your mouth with your hand, not being able to hold it in anymore.

“Don't come at me with that poop, darling. You like him too.”

“Poop? Seriously? And I do not like him, I only find him amusing.” You shook her head at her with a chuckle.

“You know I do not curse… and you do like him; just with the smile you're making at him right now… it says it all. Maybe… even more than a friend.” She sipped the tea right after.

You choked on your tea. “I do not— cough like him like— cough that.” Eyes watering.

She just shook her head at you knowingly; your reaction was enough for her. You weren't the type to get flustered easily. “Enough with the lying and go get me some apples so we can bake that big apple-pie for tomorrow’s showcase.”

“But I'm comfy right now.” You whined.

“And you are younger than me, so get going. Just ask Jungkook to accompany you like you always do when you are scared of finding spiders.”

“Hey! I can happily go alone.”

“Yeah, and the Earth is flat. Go on now, I'll be waiting inside.” She said, standing up and going inside as said with both of your teacups.

“Ugh!”

Reality was that you did want Jungkook to accompany you. Not only because of the spiders but because you actually liked his company as much as you hated to admit. He was funny, intelligent, caring, sensitive…

What the hell am I even thinking? Remember _____, he is a kitsune and they have the ability to charm; snap out of it.

Still, it wasn't that bad to indulge in those wants… right?

“Kai! Give him the mask back!” You scolded the child.

The kid immediately stopped running and stood straight as a stick, quickly handing the mask to Jungkook.

“Apologize and go to your mother’s house.”

“But I don't wanna go to sleep! The sun is still out.” The kid whined.

“It’s setting down already so you need to go get ready for bed; mother’s rules.”

The kid whined one last time, apologized and left for his house.

“Thanks for that. That was nice of you.” He cleared his throat. “… and hot.” That last part wasn't heard by you.

“Accompany me to the apple trees and we will call it even.”

“Scared of the spiders again?” Jungkook laughed.

You began mocking his laugh. “And do you wanna talk about how a kid took your mask and you couldn't get it back?

His laughter immediately toned down. “Hey! I almost had it in my hands again!”

“Yeah, right.” You started laughing again, remembering the scene.

“Have a nice time with the spiders then.” He smiled knowingly, turning his back at you as he began to walk away.

“Nooo!” You exclaimed at him, grabbing his arm.

You didn't see it. But he was smirking while he had his back turned to you. He liked knowing that you needed him. He wished you needed him more; In all types of ways.

Where the trees resided, wasn't so far away. But it did take a bit to get there. And since the night was starting to set in, you had a little more difficulty seeing even though you brought a lamp with you.

Jungkook on the other hand didn't have any problem with it since he could see at night, he was a fox after all. For that reason he didn't take his eyes off of you, worrying you might fall. But you didn't gladly. Even though he wanted an excuse to touch you.

There were already some lamps surrounding the trees and other crops since sometimes our people needed crops during the night for emergencies or just random hunger.

You quickly began to work using a ladder to lower the apples as Jungkook stayed on the ground waiting for you to throw him the apples so he could put them in the basket. At one point an apple fell on Jungkook’s head and you couldn't help but to laugh at him as he looked at you annoyed. But at the end he couldn't resist laughing too.

After you finished, you decided to take a break close to the nearby pond, drinking some water while you were at it. But Jungkook had other plans, he wanted to take revenge because of the apple on his head.

“Oh my god, _____! There is a big spider crawling on you!” He shouted.

You gasped. “What?! Where?!”

You quickly stood up trying to shake off whatever you had on you. But then you heard Jungkook laughing so loud, tears were forming in his eyes. And that's when it clicked.

“You ass—-” But your words got cut off as you tripped on a heavy branch and fell on your knees.

“Shit, _____. Are you ok?!” Jungkook’s laugh immediately stopped, quickly going towards you to help and check on you.

You sat on the ground and you raised your skirt up till you saw the knee that was hurting. And that's when both of you noticed you were bleeding.

“Fuck. I-I’m sorry, _____. Let me cure you.” he quickly grabbed your knee regretting ever scaring you like that.

Your anger had toned down; now you were more embarrassed than angry.

“I’ll cure myself at home, it’s ok.”

“That’s nonsense when I can just save you some pain by using my powers.”

“Powers?” You tilted your head to the side with a thoughtful look on your face, not remembering anything about kitsunes being able to heal. But, again, you only knew the basics.

“Here, I'll show you.” He said as he carefully straightened your leg for you to be more comfortable.

One of his hands went on top of your wound, being careful not to touch it, while his other hand rested on the backside of your knee. And a blue light began emerging from his hand to your wound.

“It will take a minute or two, so bear with me.” he said as he focused on your knee.

Gladly you didn't feel any pain. But the adrenaline from the scare and the fall began to dissipate and you were now conscious of where he was touching. You didn't want to think of it as anything else so talking was the best option to distract yourself from your body’s reaction.

“You know your little prank is going to cost you an art lesson, right?”

“Oh, come on. I’m healing you. I’m making up for my sin.”

“Pffft.” You laughed. “Don't say it like that, it wasn't that bad.”

“Well I am trying to convince you not to take an art lesson from our week.”

“I don't know why you want them so badly. You already know how to paint. Besides, you never pay attention to my lessons; you…always… stare at my face. I don't know why.” You chuckled nervously. Recalling all the moments he would drift his attention from his canvas to you, making you feel insecure. You kind of wanted an explanation of why he did that so maybe you would stop feeling so self conscious at your lessons.

His eyes lifted up to you for a moment, as if he wanted to say something, but went back to your knee. “I… still need work and you know it.”

“True.” You responded, feeling even more insecure since he didn't comment on the “staring”.

The atmosphere had turned serious and you could feel it, mainly from him. You felt a little bit awkward because of it.

“Done.” The blue light faded and the wound had disappeared; you were completely amazed by it.

“That is amazing. I didn't know kitsunes could do that.” You said, staring at your now healed wound.

But Jungkook didn't say anything back nor did he take his hand or eyes off of your knee; you noticed quickly.

“Jungkook?” You questioned him, nervous you had said something wrong.

His eyes were trailing now to your still covered thighs as his thumb caressed where the wound used to be. And you could feel your heartbeat starting to accelerate.

Your skirt was now being lifted up centimeter by centimeter, slowly and steadily; thigh becoming bare to him before your eyes.

A broken gasp came out of your lips as his hand went up, making him look up at you. Both of you know staring into each other's eyes. The coldness of the night being ignored by your lustful warm body. Your leg was now fully exposed to him to do as he pleased. He didn't stop looking at you as his hand went up and down your thigh with a firm grasp, teasing you; getting dangerously close to your slit with some strokes.

“You still don't get it, huh?”

His head lowered to your inner thigh and began sucking on the skin.

“Fuck…” You said under your breath.

This feeling was new to you; you had never been with a man despising occasional confessions. Yes you had touched yourself, but this was different. You felt your chest fill with an overwhelming lust and slit starting to ache.

After leaving a noticeable red spot, he began kissing the rest of your thigh, momentarily licking a stripe from your knee to your upper thigh and rubbing his forehead against it, ending with a soft bite. After doing so, his eyes returned to yours.

“I stare at you because I think you are beautiful.”

“Not only because of your body but because of who you are.”

“I want to be around you every minute of the day.”

His hand was now stagnant as it laid dangerously close to your slit once more. “Be mine, ______.”

Be mine. You repeated in your head. And that's when you snapped out of it. You remembered they had the gift to get anything they wanted and for you this was an attempt to do so. So you immediately pulled your leg off of his grasp, leaving him with a confused look.

“I-I can’t.” You shook your head scared.

“What?” his eyes were now full of preoccupation as he saw you stand up and walk away from him.

“_____! Wait!” He said as he stood up and grabbed the basket with apples. But you began running, not wanting him close to you as you were scared of him and yourself.

He also began to run towards you calling out to you. He could easily outrun you but he decided to not overwhelm you and just call you from afar.

You continued running despising his calls, eyes blurry from the tears, confused on what to feel or do. It felt like an eternity running, even though it wasn't. That's until you collided with another body, you were going to back away immediately thinking it was him again. But when you were about to run away, the body held you still forcing you to look up and that's when you calmed down a bit.

“____! Are you ok?!” Jimin asked worriedly.

“I… I don't know.”

As Jimin lifted his gaze up to see what you were running from, he saw Jungkook. He was going to confront him until he noticed he was equally as confused. So he decided it was best to leave it like that until he heard you talk.

“Let’s go to my house, Erika is there too so you can talk to us.”

Hearing one of your best friend’s name gave you another reason to calm down.

You nodded.

Before taking you to his house, he gave Jungkook one last look. And he could tell he was worried and at the same time scared. And that gave him the confirmation he needed to wait it out.

As soon as Erika saw you entering through the door, her expression changed.

“____, is everything ok? Did something happen?” she worried as she guided you to the living room’s sofa for you to sit and relax.

“Darling, please bring me a glass of water for her.” She told Jimin and he instantly went to the kitchen to prepare one.

“Please tell me what happened, _____. Don’t leave me worried like sometimes you do. Give me the opportunity to help you once in a while.” Erika said, hand resting on your shoulder.

She knew you very well, how sometimes you would hold onto things to not bother anyone.

Jimin returned with the glass of water and gave it to you.

You drank up a little bit before pondering over what to say. But in the end you concluded it was best to open up to them. One, because you didn't want them to think they were untrustworthy to you. And second, because your best friend was married to a kitsune. And what could be better than advice from a kitsune, himself, and his wife on this situation?

“Erika… Jimin… how– how do you know when a kitsune is mind controlling you?” A mixture of worry and shyness was evident on you, so your eyes stuck to the glass of water to hide them.

But silence was your response. And anxiety was quick to show up.

Is the situation worse than I thought? Did they already realize who I'm talking about? Did I offend Jimin and their relationship? Was I wrong?

Your mind was spiraling with questions. That’s until you decided to look up and face them. And instead of anger or worry, you were greeted with a Jimin who was trying his best to hold his laughter in. But in the end failed.

And all that could be heard was his laughter.

“Welp… prepared to be bullied for the rest of your life.” Erika said to you.

“What?” You were dumbfounded and confused. You just wanted him to finish laughing so you could finally hear his answer.

“Pfffft, it's that what you think we do?” He just continued laughing.

“Jimin, I'm serious. Please answer me.” You grew impatient.

He calmed himself down, whipping tears off of his face. “Fine, fine. I'll calm down now.”

He sat to the opposite side of you; now you were in between them.

“Look _____, I don't know from where you got that information but it's incorrect. Kitsunes do possess the ability to charm but it's because of their natural beauty and art of seduction. It comes natural to us. And it doesn't always work on everybody. Erika… She would be an example. Remember? She was a pain in the ass to conquer.” He rolled his eyes at her.

“What can I say? I just don't give up this piece of ass that easily.” She shrugged and Jimin just shook his head at her.

Red… you were completely red from embarrassment. All this time you were only listening to assumptions from other people and anxiety instead of doing actual research. Like for fuck’s sake you had two kitsunes as you friends. But you just felt embarrassed to ask. Even so, the result was the same: embarrassment. You had learned your lesson.

“Hey… does that mean you never trusted me and Hoseok?” His eyes went into shock mode. As he slowly realized that maybe you never even considered him or Hoseok a friend.

“N-n-no… w-well—-“

“I’m hurt right now.” Jimin said standing up with a pout that was more adorable than intimidating.

“Listen to me! It was only at the beginning but as I got to know you guys I began to trust you with time. And seeing how Erika and Delilah took time to be in a relationship with you guys, then I thought: hey, they are actually trustworthy; they didn't use their powers to make them fall in love.”

“Do you understand what I'm trying to say?” You added.

“Next time just ask us, please. I know us mythical creatures have a bad reputation among humans, but I can assure you, not all of us are snob assholes.” Jimin replied and you just nodded, not able to look him in the eye from the lingering embarrassment.

“Remember, we don't bite.” Jimin’s gaze landed on his wife: Erika. “Unless you want us too.” He winked.

“You are cringe.” Erika replied to his not so subtle innuendo, making you laugh for a moment.

“I agree." An unexpected, but all too familiar voice spoke. All eyes were now on one of the open windows that looked to the balcony where a Hoseok now stood resting his body on the edge of it.

“What the fuck? You were eavesdropping?!” Jimin exclaimed.

“Yes, but that's because I saw the whole thing and got worried.”

“Wait… who else saw what happened?” You quickly asked as embarrassment began to cripple on you once more. You only remember running until you collided with Jimin. But you didn't pay much attention to your surroundings.

“Who cares? What you should be worrying about is how you are going to repay me for defamation and violation of the friend code. Try making me noodles for a week and then maybe I'll forgive you.” Hoseok said.

“Oh! I want too!” Jimin added.

“You guys are asses.” Erika shook her head but then turned her attention to you while the two men planned on how to bother you for the next week.

You had gone into deep thought, analyzing yourself and trying to decipher your feelings towards him. If he wasn't “charming” you, then…

“Do you… do you like him, ____?” Erika read your mind.

Your best friend had deciphered the situation better than you; of course, she was your best friend after all. But…

“I don't know.” you responded as you got up.

“Thank you…for everything…I have to do something now. I’ll see you later! Thank you again!” you said as you rushed out of the door.

“Where are you going-?” You heard Jimin’s faint voice just before you closed the door behind you.

You didn't answer, you just wanted to get to your destination which was anywhere where Jungkook was right now. All you wanted was to apologize even though you still felt ashamed for your previous thoughts.

Your feelings were unsure. But you were sure about one thing: you wanted him to know you were sorry and that things were ok between the both of you.

How do I really feel? The question persisted in your head as you stopped half away, pondering on it, but your feet picked up speed again down the path.

No, I had to see him, I didn’t have a plan of action but I felt after seeing him it will make sense.

Nearby you saw your aunt with the basket of apples heading to her house, which meant Jungkook had been with her. So you immediately went to her and asked if she knew where he had headed, but she also didn't know.

She caught up quickly to the situation, asking you. “What happened between the both of you?”

“N-nothing.” You brushed off as you turned away and left to keep searching for him, ears blocking out your aunt's voice.

You went to your house and searched other parts of the village but he was nowhere to be found. Anxiety had started to creep in and cloud your mind with the possibility that he had left or something had happened to him.

Taking a deep breath in, you continued down the path to the nearby onsen the villagers sometimes visit but at this time most people would be in their homes, it was actually mainly you roaming this path tonight like a suspicious person. But you needed to take a break and calm yourself.

You pushed the bushes away from your face as you peaked at the back entrance of the onsen, the sight took your breath away and stopped your heart momentarily. The sun was setting, painting the sky with warm colors, the smoke from the onsen rising into the air and into the last rays of the sun, gold tinting the onsen and the shirtless man drying his damped hair after he had taken his bath. It was Jungkook, although there was no one else in sight he was wearing his kitsune mask; his hair was in a half up do and his bottom hair was still wet. His torso was still bare; he only had placed a towel around his neck as he gazed at the moon. You could sense the sadness, even though you couldn’t see his expression. He whistled a sad melody, the sight appeared almost like a kitsune crying out to the moon for it to come out.

The shame had returned, killing your determination and making you unsure if to approach him or just leave. But the universe had other plans. Because as the thoughts ran through your mind, something else ran over your hands from holding the bushes, and of course, it was a spider.

You immediately shrieked at the spider, rapidly moving your hand to shake it off. After successfully shaking it off, you noticed the whistling came to a halt and your eyes locked on Jungkook who was now staring your way, so much for stealth.

You needed his mask more than him, to hide from the embarrassment.

Trying not to show embarrassment and reveal your racing heart as you neared him around the onsen.

“...I’ve been looking for you.” You mumbled, not fully being able to look at him fully just yet.

“Are you ok, though?” He stood up and went to you, examining the hand where the unwanted visitor had been.

You nodded and he relaxed.

“It was a spider, wasn't it?”

“Yeah…” you chuckled nervously.

He laughed but his expression dimmed as he remembered. So he backed up and went to sit in one of the benches and took his mask off putting it to the side.

“You ran away from me, I didn't think you’d be looking for me.” He said quietly.

“I know...” You replied quietly too.

“You can sit if you want.” He offered.

You thanked him and sat next to him. Your eyes couldn't stop themselves as they slightly glanced at his body, you had seen it many times before but why was it suddenly making you feel this way, as if you shouldn’t look but also can’t look away. You watched one drop of water slowly making its way down from his chest to his abs.

“It’s pretty, isn't?” he said as he looked at the moon that glanced at you both and the now hidden sun. 

“Mhm…” Is all you replied as you secretly referred to his body.

“-about earlier..” He started, startling you out of your intrusive thoughts, making you blush even more.

“Ah..uh..um yes…” You stuttered.

There was a pause.

“I’m sorry.” You both spurted out at the same time. You looked at each other for a second until you both chuckled.

“You don't need to be sorry; I was the one who made you feel uncomfortable.” He smiled as he gazed at the water.

“You… you didn't make me feel uncomfortable. On the contrary… I…” You bit your lower lip as you blushed trying to finish the sentence.

“You liked it?” he finished for you; his eyes searching yours hopeful as yours shied away.

You nodded, staring at your fingers, not being able to look at him; taking advantage of the hair that fell on the side of your face so he couldn't see you blushing.

He bit his lower lip to keep his pleased smile from showing, gaze going to your legs, tempted to continue what he left unfinished earlier. But held himself back, not wanting to scare you again. So he looked away, taking a deep breath to compose himself as his grip on the edge of the bench tightened.

“I owe you an apology, Jungkook. I got scared because of ignorant beliefs.” You continued.

“Can I ask what those were?”

“I…I… thought you were hypnotizing me or…something.”

“Well that’s a compliment.” he smirked.

“Idiot.” you pushed him to the side playfully as he laughed. “I’m just happy I have other kitsunes in my life to explain stuff like this to me.”

“I’m also glad. Because if you didn't, I would've probably lost you after that.” he pushed the strand of hair that had been hiding you from him, behind your ear.

“No… I would've still come to you.” You chuckled. “You are too special to me to lose.”

Oh, how much he wanted to kiss you, but couldn't; not yet.

Your gaze then landed on his mask. “Why were you wearing your mask again? If I may ask?”

“I have a tendency to hide my face when I feel ashamed or angry.” He chuckles a little bit embarrassed. “I guess I use it to hide… my feelings and myself.” He said quietly.

You nodded in understanding; knowing the situation all too well; on your occasion, it was painting that helped you vent those emotions, turning them into something only you understood the entirety of.

“May I look at it?” You asked and he nodded, giving it to you.

You traced your fingers delicately on every feature of the mask; it was as beautiful as him.

“May I put it on?” You asked and he complied once again, never wanting to say no to you. But also because he was curious.

Placing the mask on your face you could smell his scent which made you very pleased.

You giggled. “I like it.” You looked at him, seeing he was smiling at you fondly and intrigued by you. Butterflies filled your stomach and thanked the mask for hiding your blush.

Not knowing how to deal with the emotions, you took off with the mask to tease him and avoid your feelings. “Now it’s mine!” You shouted as you giggled maliciously while running as fast as you can through the trees.

It took him a few seconds to react, not expecting at all what just happened. He wasn't surprised though, as he knew sometimes you could pass as a kitsune because of how naughty you were, especially with him and he liked that the most.

He followed behind you, not even caring to use his powers to outrun you as he was enjoying the chase and hearing you laugh.

But your running was brought to a halt as you encountered a nearby pond you had forgotten about and almost fell into it.

“Shit.” You cursed to yourself. You were about to take another route when a pair of arms grabbed you by the waist from behind abruptly, stopping you.

“Caught you! I won!” He exclaimed happily as he tried to take his mask back but you wouldn't let him.

All that could be heard was the sound of laughter as you both wrestled for the mask. At one point you lost balance and almost fell on your knees, but this time Jungkook softened the fall by holding you tightly, not wanting you to get hurt like last time.

You were about to stand up again but he went on top of you, trapping you.

The atmosphere had changed in a matter of seconds.

“I said… I won.” His voice turned suddenly low, his eyes turning lustful as they bore into you, loving the way you looked underneath him. “Now what do I get in return besides my mask, madam? Surely there must be more prizes for the winner… or does the winner get to choose? Because if so… the winner has a few things in mind already.” His eyes then went to your lips, casually licking his own.

You were flabbergasted by the situation and not in a bad way. Your eyes also went to his lips, but since you were shy, you took the mask and placed it on his face and gave him a kiss on what supposedly was his lips instead and chuckled afterwards oblivious to the tremendous effect it had on him.

“There… that was your—-“

Your mouth couldn't finish the sentence as his lips went for yours immediately after taking his mask off.

The kiss was heavenly for you. It was your first kiss so it was a little bit hard to keep with his needy experienced lips. But, even so, you found your way to reciprocate his kiss and feelings; it was something you wanted as much as he did.

You whimpered softly on his lips, making him stop and rest his forehead on yours with his eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed with his jaw clenched.

He took a deep breath and exhaled, relaxing himself. “You make me go insane, ______. You know that?”

Still on cloud 9 you just proceeded to caress his cheek and scalp. There was a brief moment of silence as he enjoyed your caresses.

“I have something for you, _____.” He broke the silence.

“And what would that be, sir Jungkook?” you playfully responded.

He laid beside you, facing you. Your eyes then went to his hand that was in a fist, blue light grabbing your attention as it went through the open spaces. Once the light vanished, his hand then opened, revealing a necklace with a little crystal jar as a pendant.

“What is that?” you asked.

“_____… I chose you as my mate.”

You sat up as soon as he said those words. You knew what that meant. It meant he couldn't be with anybody else after this, only you. Every tribe of kitsunes had their own ritual to choose a mate; you didn't know what his tribe’s ritual was but all you knew was that you were irritated by it. You never liked the idea of marrying an immortal to later leave alone to suffer for an eternity. It's not that you didn't agree with those types of relationships but it's just something you didn't want for yourself. You knew you were going to be constantly worrying about the future. Hence why you always admired Erika’s relationship by how fearless and in the moment they were.

“Jungkook, why would you do that?!”

“You already know the answer: because I fell for you, _____… and hard.” He sat up too, surprisingly calm to your reaction.

“Are you crazy?! I’m a mortal; I don't even last one century! You shouldn't have done that!” You were now standing.

Tears accumulated in your eyes, making your vision blurry. It was a reaction that even for you was unexpected; it made you realize how much you cared for him.

“What if I don't love you back, huh?! And what if I die tomorrow? What are you going to do then?!”

The tears were falling freely now. But they were interrupted by the pass of his caress.

“I already know the consequences, _____. And I don’t mind facing them.” He laid a kiss on your cheek, calming you.

“How… how are you not scared?” You hiccupped, wiping your tears away.

“Because my heart is where it belongs. And I knew from day one that you were my person; I could sense it as if… I had met you in another life; and I wasn't in the wrong.” He calmly assured you with a smile. “Now hold your hair up.”

You hesitated a bit but complied.

“This signifies my commitment to you; I want to marry you, _____.” Jungkook explained as he went behind you and placed the necklace on your neck.

“Jungkook, I don't think I'm there yet.” You shook your head and eyes began to water again; scared. But he continued clasping your necklace.

“The jar contains seven flowers. Each time you experience romantic love for me, one will bloom. Once the 7th has bloomed, that means you have fallen deeply in love with me and that’s when I'll marry you. In other words: I’ll wait for you.” He continued to clean your tears. “And even if they never bloom, and you want someone else… it will be ok. I’m not gonna lie to you, it will hurt.” He chuckled. “But knowing I'll still have you as a friend, would be enough for me.”

You couldn't understand how he was so sure after spending such a short period of time with you. You were scared for him; you didn't want him to live an unhappy life because of you and his decision.

But… At the same time, your heart couldn't resist feeling overjoyed at his words and the thought of spending the rest of your life with him.

Your hands then went to the pendant to examine it. It had flowers inside of it, seven different types of flowers about to bloom. You found it incredible how small they were; it was like a miniature garden inside of the jar.

“Can this be undone, the mate thing is only if i wear it, right?” You spoke more calmly now.

She is so cute. He thought to himself, chuckled and wrapped his arms around you, hugging tightly.

“You know... I have many things I love about you, but you worrying about us and our future, just drawns me even more." He smiled. " And no, it can't be undone because the necklace was made specifically for you; I've already committed to you to my creator: Inari.”

“Please ____, stop worrying. I've lived long enough to know that you are the only one for me. I’m going to be ok regardless; I just wanted you to know that my heart belongs to you.” He added.

You took a deep breath and exhaled, closing your eyes as your head rested on his chest; hearing his literal heart beat. You were overwhelmed and scared but you knew it was just anxiety talking. He was determined and you needed to remind yourself that he had lived centuries before you; that he had lived almost through every trial in life and that he was mature and wise enough to make this decision. You also reminded yourself that as long as you had each other, it was all going to be fine. And that living in the moment is what truly matters.

“Let’s go back before my aunt sends Jimin or Hoseok to find me; she knew something was off when I last talked to her.” You broke from his embrace. “…Or worse… Yoongi.”

“Who is Yoongi?” Jungkook asked, amused by your reaction to his name.

“He is a fallen angel and he is scary when he is mad.” You said as you walked the path back to the village, Jungkook followed behind.

“Why? He gets violent?” He asked, concerned.

“No! Not at all! He is just very strict. But let me tell you… he is very sweet under that hard shell he has and makes the best apple pie in the village… don’t tell my aunt I said that, please.” You said making him chuckle.

“Is it that good?” he asked, intertwining his hand with yours.

“Oh, yes! Wait till you try it! Yoongi has made it for me since I was little.” You squealed in excitement.

“Is that so?” he asked, intrigued but also in a trance with your beauty, like always.

And so the conversation continued to the village, without you realizing a flower had already bloomed: a Larch.

. . .

Everything was under a different light now. Every gesture, action and affectionate words were now felt differently. The feelings of love you neglected of him were now finally showing their colors, blossoming into something beautiful just like the flowers that rested on your neck.

Seven flowers… And one had already bloomed.

The second one, a Rumex, bloomed as his hand caressed your hair, both laying on your bed while he told you various stories from his childhood; one of them being how he had learned how to paint; and the others just showed you how naughty he was of a fox when a kid. All so you could fall asleep during the raging thunderstorm.

The third flower, a Spirea, bloomed when he told you how beautiful you were as you focused on your painting.

The fourth flower, a Buttercup, slowly bloomed as you both splashed each other with water in the nearby river and later on played hide and seek with the kids from your village; laughter and joy not seeming to cease.

The fifth flower, a Clematis, bloomed after reconciling on your first fight; making you understand that love isn't always perfect and that was ok. Because if the love is truthful, it is always bound to prevail over any circumstance or pride. That's what makes it so beautiful.

The sixth flower, a Sweershrub, bloomed when you saw him help an elder of the village to find and pick her favorite flowers for her balcony. Later on, bringing one for you too; one that he had found and had “thought of you” as he admired it.

The seventh flower… the last one… had bloomed as your hands cupped his cheeks and eyes went to his lips right after you had hugged him because he had finally shown you the painting he had been making; a painting where he had drawn you so beautifully as you concentrated on your own painting; it was so detailed and colorful, full of love… you just wanted to kiss him at that moment. But timidity overshadowed the courage to do so once again. And he himself had to restrict himself from kissing you as he knew very well that that kiss was just going to be fuel to the fire, and his body wasn't going to be able to be stopped from taking what it had been wanting. So he gently removed your hands and gave them soft kisses; apologizing before leaving you alone, wanting more from him; for him to love you.

“A tiger lily…” You stared at your reflection on the mirror of the vanity table, holding the pendant.

You sat there, amazed how all of them had bloomed so quickly. You also debated on when to tell him; for you it was a little bit embarrassing that your feelings were out there like that physically. For that reason you didn't always have it on your neck; sometimes it was in your pockets or as a bracelet. Although… he never paid much attention to it; he was more focused on just being with you. You did sometimes catch him looking but he would immediately look away. As if he reminded himself to not put pressure on you and just be happy that you were together even as friends.

There was a knock at the door, startling you since it was in the middle of the night. But then you remembered that Jungkook usually likes to sleep over. So you wrapped a blanket around you, not wanting your exposed skin to be seen, and went to the door to open it; revealing what you were already expecting: a smiling Jungkook with a pillow under his arm.

“I should start charging you for the overnight stays.” You joked as you walked towards the kitchen leaving him to close the door.

“But you won't because you like me being here.” He teased back as he entered, following you.

“Well maybe I don't; you always leave a mess on the couch.”

“But you enjoy my breakfasts so you won't kick me out. And I don't always leave a mess, madam.” He smiled.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Not after the over-salted eggs you gave me last time.”

“Hey! It was an accident.” He immediately started tickling your belly as punishment, making you laugh hysterically. You tried to escape his grasp but he held you from behind to not let you escape.

“Jungkook stop! I’m going to pee myself.” You laughed as your eyes watered; he grew weak as he began laughing at your comment and you took the opportunity to escape, and in that attempt to push him off, your blanket fell off, leaving you only on your satin nightgown that exposed your breasts through the fabric while a strap fell off your shoulder, making it worse for you.

As soon as your skin came in contact with the cold breeze, you realized what had just happened and gasped, backing away a bit, lifting the nightgown strap back up. You quickly looked at him, embarrassed. And you saw how his eyes had just finished scanning your body, going from your perked up breasts to your face. You couldn't take any longer the insecurities so you went to grab the blanket to cover yourself up again. But as you pulled the piece of fabric, something interfered: Jungkook's foot, stepping on it.

You stepped back, letting the blanket fall, looking at him with an arm around your breasts as you tried to decipher what he was thinking.

If a needle were to fall, it would be heard; silence and tension was all there was. But not a bad kind of tension…

He walked to you, taking extra steps as you instinctively stepped back, colliding with the kitchen counter. Even though you wanted him, it was your first time and it was instinct to hide yourself.

He removed your arm that covered your breasts, exposing them to him again. You hesitated a bit.

“Let me see you.” He stated.

Your eyes were glued to his lustful gaze on your breasts; his eyebrows slightly furrowed as he tried to restrain himself.

Softly he grazed your neck moving to your collarbone… finally landing on your breast, grasping it firmly; and without warning, his mouth went to your bud and began savoring it, despising the fabric that was in between. Your gasp was followed by a moan and slight twitch of your body as pleasure was felt.

Hearing you moan made his movements more passionate and rough, switching between breasts. He wanted to see and hear more. His sucks were loud and licks were lewd; flicking your exposed nipples and nibbling on them occasionally; all while he massaged your breasts aggressively.

As your lips parted from pleasure, he took the opportunity to collide his mouth with yours as your lips looked too pretty like that to pass the invitation. His hand then traveled from your breast to your neck where the necklace resided. And as soon as his hand brushed the chain, that's when he remembered.

His jaw clenched as he forced himself to remove his lips from yours, It took him every ounce of self restraint to complete that task. But went through it successfully, making you whimper softly from frustration at the loss of his sweet sinful mouth.

He rested his forehead on yours with eyes closed and untamed breaths as he tried to control the animal inside of him that only wanted to claim you before anybody else could.

“It was a mistake for me to come here. And I should stop coming over; it's dangerous for me and for you; I apologize.” He states due to the fact that it was getting harder for him to hold himself back, before stepping away and going towards the door at a fast pace.

“The flowers bloomed, Jungkook.” You made him stop on his tracks.

You wanted this too.

“What?” He asked, not because he didn't understand you, but because he couldn't believe it for a moment.

“All the flowers bloomed… yesterday, the last one blossomed; I noticed it today.” You smiled, excited but nervous at the same time.

He went back to you and picked the pendant, seeing every flower grown and colorful.

He smiled and lightly chuckled, placing his forehead on yours and hands on the counter behind you trapping you, relieved he no longer had to hold himself together when he was around you.

His fingers now held your chin, making you look at him. “You don't know how fucking hard was it to hold back and not fuck you like you are meant to be fucked, _____.” He said so casually; eyes physically changing and a pair of fangs now visible.

You weren't surprised by his choice of words since you knew how they behaved when they were in heat or just needy; sadly you know about this because you had to hear your friend, Erika, talk to you about her and Jimin’s sex life occasionally; more specifically when she had an “amazing night”; you always had to shut her up mid speech before you puked. But at least it helped you get to know a little better how kitsunes worked, or any other hybrid that was part animal.

His eyes… You thought to yourself as their pupil was now slit. Just like a fox.

“Beautiful…” You thought out loud, boring into his eyes; finally being able to see part of his fox side.

And that was enough to send him off edge.

“This nightgown doesn't hold any sentimental value to you, correct?” He asked.

“No, why—“

You gasped as one of his now exposed claws had cut through the middle of the night gown, ripping off the rest with his hands and pushing off the straps from your shoulders and throwing the gown to a side. You were now fully exposed to him. To you, it felt so weird to be naked in front of a man and you also felt self conscious. But the man that was in front of you was one that you deeply loved and trusted your body with; you wanted to give him all of you and you were ready to face and overcome your insecurities with him.

Your arms went to your breasts, but he was quick to remove your arms and place them on your sides, whispering to your ear, “Stop doing that or I'll tie your arms.”

He began tracing his fingers slowly starting from your hip’s stretch marks to the curve of your waist, passing your aroused nipple (making you shiver); ending on your neck followed by grasping it.

“Beautiful.” He repeated your words. “Just like imagined.”

You blushed once more; asking yourself if he had touched himself to the thought of you; the thought alone made you even wetter and wanting to hear more of what he wanted to do to you. Oh, how dirty you felt.

So the words came out of your mouth intrusively, “What else do you imagine?”

He was also taken back by your sudden loss of shyness. But reality was that, you were still scared. Nevertheless, you wanted him even so.

“Do you really want to know, darling?” The grip on your neck tightened, playing with his prey.

“Ye-es.” You almost moaned, loving his hand over your neck.

His mouth attacked yours desperately, connecting your tongues. The hand that held your throat, now positioning your head for easier access; his other hand pushed your crotch towards his so he could grind himself on you and get some relief from his aching cock.

“Go to the couch.” He broke the kiss, his loud pants overshadowing yours.

He had so much control over you; you complied so quickly. Yet, what you didn't know was the amount of control you had over him. Not only because of the smell of your arousal or your naked body, but because of the way you looked at him as if you were high on him; it was driving him nuts. He wanted to be gentle with you… oh how he wanted to. But you just made it so difficult for him… always.

Your living room had two sofas on either side of your wooden coffee table; facing each other.

He followed behind, eye-fucking your ass. He also grabbed the nearest canvas and some paints and pencils, making you curious of what he was going to do.

You stood awkwardly in front of one, waiting for him to give you instructions.

“You do not get to be shy now after you asked me what I think of when I touch myself.” He softly chuckled.

“D-don’t be an ass.” You retorted; somehow enjoying that you could still tease each other even during sex.

He chuckled again. But his expression went back to the previous one: fox eyes full of raging lust. It was like two different people.

An easel was already in front of one of the sofas since you had decided this morning to paint an idea that had come to mind… so it made it easier for him.

He placed the canvas on the easel followed by the words, “Sit.” And you complied.

He was on the other couch facing you as he grabbed a pencil.

Is he… is he going to draw me naked? You thought to yourself, only to be answered afterwards as if he had heard you.

“You asked me what I thought when I touched myself… then I’m going to show you; don't know how much self control I'll have, though.” He said sincerely as he took out his cock out of his lower attire.

You loved the way it looked with cum already dripping from the tip.

“I’m going to paint you bare before me while I touch myself.” He said, already beginning to stroke his cock, breaths of air longer and broken. “And I don't want you touching yourself, do you understand?”

You nodded, rubbing your thighs together, needing some kind of friction.

“But you are going to spread your legs.”

This is going to be hard for me to not touch myself. You thought.

And slowly, and a bit embarrassed, you exposed to him your dripping cunt.

He swallowed hard, thinking to himself that this was going to be harder than he thought. But he still wanted to show you how fucked up you made him all the time. Plus he was enjoying the anticipation before he fucked you like he wanted to.

His other hand gripped hard on the pencil as he began to draw you. He began doing the basics of the painting… your face… the form of your body… and then began adding some details. But the truth is, the drawing was sloppy since he was enjoying more tracing your body with his own eyes; admiring it; memorizing it and plotting ways he was going to fuck you. All while he was stroking himself, squeezing his balls occasionally.

He looked so beautiful: eyebrows furrowed and mouth opened as he cursed and breathed heavily while giving himself pleasure. You wanted to touch yourself so badly…

“Spread the lips of your cunt for me.” He panted. “I wanna see your hole begging for my cock.”

For you that was even more torture since you just wanted to rub your clit or have him touch you or be inside you. But you did it anyway, making him hiss and grunt as his hips thrusted forward instinctively as he saw how it was pulsating from need.

“Fuck.” He clenched his jaw.

The painting was long gone, abandoned. And all that could be heard was the sound of his moans/grunts and hand stroking himself.

This was too much for you, seeing him like that… and your slit aching for him… your fingers just slipped inside you without you noticing as you looked at him touching himself to you.

“Jungkook...” You whimpered as you closed your eyes for a second, focusing on the feeling; your other hand now touching your breast.

The crash of the easel, canvas and pencil with the floor made you open your eyes again. Jungkook had pushed it to the floor and was now moving towards you.

He pushed your back to the couch and held your legs while he aligned himself on your entrance, spitting on his cock to use as additional lube.

“Jungk—-“ you were going to protest because he was going too fast but it was already too late. His cock was already inside of you, pounding you hard.

“Shit!” You yelped as your eyes watered from the sting.

“I wont be gentle, _____.” He grunted as he pounded into you. “But I’m going to make you feel good, I promise.”

It felt so different from your fingers for obvious reasons. There was a mixture of pain and pleasure and you didn't know how to react; you were confused. But one thing was for sure: you felt full and in ecstasy with him finally inside you. And you just wanted more even on uncomfortableness.

Had you just discovered you were a masochist? Probably.

One of your hands went to his and grabbed it, guiding it over your neck. You wanted him to hold you there; you liked the feeling.

“You keep playing with fire, _____. Do you want me to break you?!”

You nodded, too overwhelmed by lust and pleasure to speak.

He cursed.

Your arm was grabbed and in a matter of seconds you were flipped over. You were on your knees, forehead pressed to a cushion by his hand on your nape. This position allowed him to go faster.

Since you were looking down, he grabbed you by your hair and positioned your head sideways.

“Don't want to miss those pretty reactions you make while you take my cock.” You moaned at his words as he thrusted harshly into you, making you yelp.

“Touching yourself and then asking me to hold you by your neck? What a dirty virgin you are. You really don't want me to go easy on you, huh?” He added.

Every word he said, your body reacted to it. And he knew by the way you were squeezing in on him, which you could tell he loved by the way he cursed under his breath.

“Such a slut… my slut.” He commented; his hand never leaving your nape as he fucked you.

He then lowered himself on you, pushing you down to the sofa, your bodies now touching as he pounded you deep. His thrusts were now more paused but each thrust was harsh and loud.

“Feels so good.” You whimpered.

“I know, beautiful.” He whispered into your ear and licked a stripe of the shell and bit it softly.

You were drooling at this point; so focused on him, his sounds and touches. You also knew for sure that your ass was going to be bruised and red as fuck after this by how hard he had be fucking you. Not only were you probably weren't going to be able to stand up tomorrow, but also sit. You were fucked. But it was worth it to you.

“I’m close.” He grunted as he picked up the pace again, lifting your ass up again; both of his hands digging into your hips; more bruises you knew you were gonna have tomorrow.

You turned your head sideways to watch when he came. But you were also enjoying how his eyes never left your cunt as it took him so nicely.

“You were made for me, _____. Your pretty little tight cunt was made to take my cock.” He panted, high on you.

Suddenly, one of his harsh thrusts came with a sharp pain on your shoulder, extending to your neck; feeling drops of a warm liquid dripping from it; it was your blood. He had bitten you as he came inside you. You were now full of his cum, scent and with a mark claiming you as his.

It was so fast that it didn't give you time to react. But the pain was still there, he could see it on your face. So he licked the area to soothe you and clean it, giving your neck and shoulder kisses afterwards. He still didn't pull out.

“Mine finally.” He said burying his nose on your neck, smelling the mixture of your scent with his; he couldn't get enough of it. He couldn't get enough of the idea that you were all marked up by him; it was satisfying.

“You ok, love?” He asked, checking your wound to see if it stopped bleeding.

“Y-yes.” You replied, still surprised by the bite. You had forgotten when Erika had told you about the bite they give you when it's your first time together; it injects the pheromones into you; marking you as his not only by smell but physically.

“You haven't orgasmed yet, right?” He asked, still inside of you, laid on your back as his breathing returned to normal.

“No… sorry; I thought that was going to be enough.” You apologize, somehow feeling guilty that you didn't come during the intercourse. But again, you were new to this. You only knew some things because of Erika.

I should’ve listened more to her even if I puked afterwards. You thought.

“Love, why are you apologizing? That is perfectly normal; please don't force anything; just enjoy my touch.” He said, finally pulling out, pleased to see that you were filled to the brim with his cum.

You relaxed at his words but whimpered as he pulled out, missing feeling full.

“Turn around for me.”

You were facing him now as he hovered over you. He kissed you… lips now more gentle but full of passion; occasionally licking your lower lip.

His hand then slipped to your cum dripping cunt, playing with your folds before going down on you.

“W-wait! What are you doing?” You quickly questioned as his head was now between your legs; still insecure of your body.

But he ignored you.

“What a pretty sight.” He almost moaned seeing your hole still filled with his cum.

“I'll paint this next, what do you think?” He smirked at you and you blushed looking away.

His thumb circled your clit a bit before spitting on it, making it easier for him to pleasure you. But he did not miss the almost silent moan you released seeing him do that.

He smirked, once more. “You really like that, don’t you? When I spit on you.”

“Can— Can you stop teasing me?!” You said annoyed/flustered and he giggled.

He chuckled. “I knew it… that look you gave me when I spat on my cock was enough to let me know.“

He gave your clit more rubs while he hovered over you again.

“Open.” He gestured to your lips with his eyes.

Confusion was evident on your face, not understanding but you still complied.

“My slut is so well mannered; now stick your tongue out for me.”

A ball of spit fell from his mouth into your tongue.

“Swallow.”

It was embarrassing for you how quickly you complied and wanted more.

What is wrong with me?

You were discovering things about yourself that you never imagined existed.

“You want another one, doll?” He asked, begging for you to say yes as he was also enjoying every second of it. He never knew he was going to like this as much as he does right now; but maybe it was just because this was another way for him to mark you.

You nodded, opening your mouth again. And he smirked.

Another ball of spit fell into your mouth. And this time he continued with a kiss, connecting your tongues.

Every touch, kiss, action… was guiding you towards your high and you were starting to feel it. And he could see it by the way you were grinding your hips on his hand.

He lowered his face to your cunt, taking a whiff of it. “So good.” He moaned before sucking your clit.

You were a moaning whimpering mess by the way his tongue was going so fast on your bud; taking a few whiffs in between as he loved the way you smelled. At this point all his lower face was covered in your fluids. And he didn't mind one bit.

His other hand was now stroking his cock.

He is hard again.

You wanted to touch him so badly too but you were about to come.

Maybe next time. You thought.

But you did have one request. “Jungkook, I’m close. I want you to— to touch my clit with your cock.”

He didn't think twice to do so, wanting to make you go crazy for him, to lose all sense of reason for him, to just think of him only him. He wanted to break you.

“Fuck, I love you so much.” He cursed loving how lewd you were when about to climax.

Occasionally he would slap his cock on your clit as he rubbed himself on your clit, making your body jolt from overstimulation.

“fu— uck, Jungkook!” You grabbed onto his arm while you rode your high on his dick.

You had come before by your own hands but this… this was way different.

Jungkook, seeing your climax, also came on you, strings of semen landing on your belly and tits.

As you came down from cloud nine, he left wet kisses on your neck and then switched to your lips, connecting them.

He broke the kiss, resting his forehead on yours with his eyes closed as he caressed your cheek with his thumb. “Finally… mine.” He exhaled in relief as if he had held his breath all these months that he was with you. Because even though he told you that it would be ok if you didn't feel the same way, reality was that he knew very well it wasn't going to be ok for him; he knew that being with you and not being able to touch you… kiss you… hold you… make love to you… or just watching you with another man… was going to be torturous and unbearable pain. But he was willing to go through it just so he could see you everyday and make sure you were ok.

“I love you.” You said to him, wanting to reassure him you weren't going anywhere and that your feelings were true.

He chuckled as he sighed. “That just makes me want to go for round two. But I know you are tired and sore already so I will save that round two for later.”

You lazily chuckled; body so relaxed…

He noticed your heavy eyelids so he picked you up bridal style and took you to your bed. The sudden gesture shocked you a little bit but later relaxed in his arms.

After he gently laid you on the bed, he left the room and came back with a damped towel and proceeded to clean you up. As he did, your enamored eyes went from his face to his beautiful body, focusing on his caring actions. But the scars of the injury you cured grabbed your full attention after. Till this day you hadn't asked him what exactly he was running from and who had hurt him; it had been four months already. There were some times where you wanted to speak about the subject, but decided not to; scared of making him remember something he didn't want to. But right now, you felt so in tune with him; like your souls had reached their peak in connecting… that it gave you tranquility; you just knew he was willing to share his vulnerability with you.

“Jungkook… what were you running from that day?” You finally asked, his eyes quickly going up to you.

He was definitely not expecting that question now but he was already preparing for it; he knew you both would eventually talk about the subject. But he didn't mind; even if it meant going back to such a miserable past. You were his and he was yours, and he wanted to share everything with you.

“My family.” He said as he kept cleaning you.

You were shocked; that was an answer you were definitely not expecting. You were expecting maybe thieves… someone who just didn't like him… or just bad people in general. But his own blood? No.

“Why, if I may ask?” You said, now sitting on the bed.

“You can ask all you want, beautiful.” He smiled, rubbing your thigh as a sign of reassurance.

“They just… didn't like the idea of me going against their— no, her word.” He chuckled softly, but there was pain evident in his eyes.

“Her?” You asked curious of who he was referring to.

“My mother, it was always her and everyone followed… my whole childhood consisted of her controlling every little thing of my life; even the way I dressed. But as i got older, I began to rebel; starting with my hobbies… that's when I learned how to paint.”

It's incredible for you how well he hid the pain and reality of his childhood when he talked to you about it. He always told you the nice memories but never the bad ones. And you could tell there were a lot of bad ones.

“I changed the way I dressed; I got piercings and tattoos… I always got shit for it but I didn't care; I could take it… that's what I always said.” He continued.

And damn does he look good… You were happy he got the courage to be himself.

“But my tolerance was cut short when she forced me to marry a woman from a well known vampire clan. Apparently she got interested in me at one of the many balls I attended. And since she belongs to a very rich and powerful clan… it was all about gain.”

He threw the towel away and went to rest beside you, laying his head on your thigh. He took your hand and placed it on his head. And you already knew what it meant: he wanted pets.

“So I ran before the wedding could take place. But she found out and went looking for me; she sent my two brothers to search for me. The commitment they had to find me was astonishing because I was already far far away when they found me. And that's… that's when my own two brothers that I grew up with, almost… killed me.”

His last two words sounded doubtful, as he still couldn't believe that had happened.

“They tried to talk it out at first but when I kept refusing… all they said was that they didn't have another choice. I was always the strongest one out of the three so that’s the reason why she sent them both. But… even so, I managed to escape and lose them.”

You wiped the tears that had not gone unnoticed by you.

“Damn, I'm crying?” He chuckled and you nodded.

“It’s ok.” You reassured and kissed his hand that cleaned his eyes.

That action secretly drives him crazy.

“I ran all I could; I remember passing a lot of trees. And then… I saw you. Even though I was in pain, once my eyes laid on you I felt that you were someone who was going to be really important to me; I could feel it; as if we had known each other in a past life. But at the same time I was doubtful; probably because my intuition was being clouded with my fight or flight instinct; but once I saw you turn back because of a spider.. I knew I was ok and that you weren't going to hurt me.”

“I don't know if to feel flattered or insulted.” You said making him snort out a laugh.

“So that spider technically made you trust me?”

“Yeah… I thank that spider every day. Because otherwise, I would’ve probably just bled out.”

That was scary just thinking about; knowing that there could’ve been a possibility where you didn't meet each other. You look back and you for the first time in your life… feel thankful for a spider showing up.

“In that case, I'm grateful for the spider too.” You both laughed.

Your fingers kept running his hair while his eyes closed, enjoying your touch like always. There was silence but it was a comfortable one. As you sat there giving him affection, your eyes scanned all his features. Still admiring his beauty as if it was the first time you saw him.

“You are so beautiful.” Those words just needed to come out from your mouth.

His eyes opened with a shocked flustered expression; he was blushing and moved one of his hands to cover half of his face as if it was helping cover the obvious blushing cheeks and ears. He always did that when he got shy.

You chuckled at his cuteness. “Too bad I'm gonna get old and won't match your youthfulness.” You chuckled again but this time a bit more sad.

His expression changed to a more serious one. “Why are you thinking like that?”

“Because… my body will change and… I won't be able to keep up with… you know… your needs.”

The harsh truth; one that had been bothering you for a while now but tried your best to ignore it; you wanted to live in the moment after all. But the problem was that you wanted to make him happy always; to please him and be there for him when he needed you just like he does for you now. You didn't want to lose that ability. Because you knew for a fact he was going to love you unconditionally but it was still going to be hard for you.

He sat now, placing a hand on your cheek. “_____, look at me. Your hair will turn gray and your skin will prune. But your smile won't change, the way you make me laugh won't change, the way you love won't change, your fear of spiders probably won't change either.”

“Hey!” You protested.

“And your way of knowing me so well… the way you have me at the palm of your hands… the way you turn me on… won't change either. All those things are what made me fall deeply in love with you.”

“Even if my ass and tits drop?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Oh my god, ____. Yes, I will love you even if your ass and tits drop.” he rolled his eyes and began to laugh and you joined.

You were in love; mad, mad in love.

“In other words… Till my end comes, you will always have my heart. Even after our inevitable parting happens, I'll never let go of you.”

Tears unavoidably fell from your eyes as you smiled; feeling so lucky and so loved. Was this the world reciprocating all the love you gave to it al this time?

“Besides, we can just make potions for stamina and endurance. If you know what I mean.” He winked and smirked.

You slapped his arm and began laughing. “You had to ruin the moment you fucking degenerate.”

“Only if it's you.” He stuck his tongue out, stopping it between his teeth with deviousness in his eyes; a playful flirty expression he tended to make.

He really never failed to make you flustered, shy or blushed even if it was sometimes corny. It was something that you knew that even if decades passed, you would still experience.

“I hope I get to see you in my next life too, Jungkook.”

“Oh believe me, I will always find my way back to you.”

And as always, that sincerity in his eyes was undoubtedly one of your biggest weaknesses. Your lips couldn't help but to reach for his.

Now the next thing was to plan the wedding. You didn't have any ideas yet. But one thing was for sure. And that was that Yoongi was going to make the pastries. It was a perfect excuse to make him do pie.

Sorry Yoongi.

[blueaetherr]

idk if ur requests are open but pls write an aurelien fic 🙏

the love that (never) was

pairing: aurélien tchouaméni x fem!reader [she/her]

warning(s): angst, iwtv reference?

word count: 5.7k

summary: the one where comfort in shared history and practised narratives drive them together, even without the love

author's note: to the person who requested this time ago... i'm sorry. life's been long and i couldn't get around it until recently. i've also gotten some requests recently for aurélien so (maybe) i'll do them soon. i don't know, we'll see. anyways, enjoy!

now playing: luther by kendrick lamar ft. sza

For someone who was innately uncoordinated and spontaneous with her general actions—and had been so for most of her life—Y/N never thought she would enjoy the idea of routine.

It was a way of guiding her day, ensuring a sense of structured fluidity. It allowed her to do all that was planned, something potentially cyclical yet motivating knowing that activities prepared for the following day would be ones she wanted to engage with when she wanted to.

Like some soft decompression in the morning when there were no pressing matters to attend to. Perhaps picking oranges from the orange tree whilst appreciating the warmth of the afternoon sun and the spring breeze brushing up against her skin. Maybe talking to friends and family on the phone, doing laundry or getting some work done when it was time to clock in. Or even simply lounging in the living room and letting time run its course.

Some of these activities could be done at any time, within and beyond certain time frames. But what remained unchanged, and what she loved the most about her routine was starting hers with Aurélien... despite their interesting circumstances.

Entering the kitchen with a basket of oranges in her grasp from the back garden, a familiar voice entered her vicinity.

"Hi, ma cherie." In came Aurélien smiling galore and as always, Y/N felt obliged to return the gesture. In her eyes, he brought the sun down to earth; he was beautifully vibrant, radiant and bright, and in all ways possible.

"You're back!" She set the basket down before she approached him with a hug, allowing the two to sway for a moment or so. Pulling away she gasped lightly, feigning shock at the sight of the large bouquet in his hold. Frankly, she knew Aurélien was going to come home with flowers for her. He first did so a few years back when their relationship began and has been doing so ever since. "Are those for me?"

He tilted his head to meet her eyes, a taunting grin extending upon his lips, "If not you, then who else?" Y/N narrowed her eyes at him before pulling away with the flowers in her grasp. And Aurélien could only laugh at the moment they had just shared; he knew that she understood that it was all pleasant banter between the couple. Besides, the quick squeeze on her hand before she walked away from him always reminded her he meant no harm with his words. "Do you want to know the story behind them?"

Humming, she took the empty vase by the window sill and placed it in the kitchen sink to fill it up with water. In the meantime, she began inspecting the flowers. "Tell me. What happened?"

After every outing, big or small, Aurélien always had a story to bring back to Y/N without fail. Forever creating adventures out of simple errand runs. Recounting those subtle moments of intrigue. Almost never reserving all this positive animation for himself. He made it his mission to include her in experiences she couldn't find the time and space to be physically present in.

Selfishly, her favourite recounts were those about the flowers Aurélien would purchase. In truth, she found them the most intriguing. It was nice to discover the thought, journey and effort that shaped his decision to go for this, that or the next. So much tenderness, consideration and detail behind every bouquet, every flower, all the wrapping paper that was used—even sometimes the note that came with it all. And the story never remained the same; it differed every time whether it was simple or bizarre, with no in-between.

Aurélien took a seat by the kitchen island as he exhaled a chuckle. "Okay, well, I went to the flower market as I usually do, and I requested a bouquet of flowers. I also gave her free reign to do whatever since I know you like a little variety. The florist asked who it would be for and I said my wife and showed her my lock screen for reference."

Turning off the tap, Y/N took a quick glance at his lock screen and her lips quickly quirked into a smile. The picture Aurélien had shown the florist was of them from their vacation the past summer. Aurélien had just won the Champions League with Real Madrid and Y/N had gotten newly promoted at her job. And those two things together just made it more leisurely to indulge in their favourite art forms on vacation by the seaside; a book in hand for Aurélien (literature) and an iPod for Y/N (music). It was nothing but good vibes. "That's a really good picture of us."

He turned his phone back to himself, letting his eyes trail over the picture and hummed softly. "It is. Anyways, she got to work and the rest is history." A beat before he tapped his palm against his chest, his smile now prideful. "Also, I think she finds me handsome."

Y/N tilted her head before folding her arms. "And what makes you say that?" She had no choice but to challenge his words. Not that she didn't believe Aurélien, that wasn't the case at all. The thing was, with him, there would always be doubt in unserious situations.

"Well, she told me. And here are the flowers requested for the handsome boy— that's what she said, I swear!" He exclaimed and glanced around the kitchen like he was looking for support when she tried to conceal her laughter behind her palm though failed terribly. Did she really have such little belief in him and his words?

She released her final laugh through an exhale, rubbing a hand over her heart to calm down. "Okay, my dear. You know what? You're absolutely, right." The way he sent banter her way a few moments ago, she could return it right back to him the same way.

"Yeah, you're right; I am right." There was playful debate in his voice though it soon dissipated when Y/N placed the large bouquet of flowers—now in the vase—on the kitchen island before leaning against it in front of him. It was then that he was reminded of the story he had yet to finish recounting. One of many stories that, whether one considered all factors or just one that made up his errand runs, had Y/N in mind. "But... if it makes you feel any better," he trailed on his words, pulling her closer by her hand, "she thinks you're beautiful too."

"What—" Before she had the space to question his words, Aurélien slipped a piece of paper in her free hand. She caught his gaze and observed him with wrinkled eyebrows. The want was there to question him about his words and discover the truth either through him or the slip of paper. In the end, however, she realised the slip of paper would be more truthful.

Sighing, she unfolded the slip of paper and after quickly reading it, she found that her voice had abandoned her.

order #1011 (for the handsome boy and his beautiful wife)

Noticing her hush, he nudged her side. Now was the perfect time to secure a win over her. "So you're not going to question me this time? You're not going to fact-check it or anything?"

Suddenly, all that was once bashful about Y/N became confident and outward. A faint smirk played at her lips. Still, some modest gratitude was there; behind her words, gaze and gentle touch. "I mean whether she said it or not, we all know it's true."

He shook his head with a low hum, but he couldn't stop a smile from budding on his face. 'Cause at the end of the day, when Aurélien sent jokes in Y/N's direction or he tried to challenge her in any way, the end goal always remained for him to realise her happiness into actuality. And considering her unwavering grinning, easily accepting his touch, her eye contact that was delightful, warm and overwhelmingly engaged with him—perhaps it was safe for Aurélien to pat himself on the back.

And it would always be an extra for him as her happiness would always be his. With a low but smooth voice, he admitted heartily, "Yeah... we do."

For a moment, he was mindful of the two and everything around them. The clear schedule for the day on the fridge, the merry couple themselves, the large bouquet of flowers, the two wedding bands – connected by their interlaced hands. Soon, he was reminded of today. The particular meaning of today's date and what it should mean for the two, despite the date slipping their notices from time to time. Either way, Aurélien bared his wife a smile, one fond yet solemn. "Happy anniversary, Y/N."

And, unapologetically, she matched his energy. Here in their shared home, in their kitchen, together by touch, there were feelings maybe only Aurélien and Y/N would ever know to understand and experience as a married couple. Squeezing his shoulder—a gesture of comfort and assurance—she breathed, "Happy anniversary, Aurélien."

For many a couple's anniversary, in almost every case, was special and remarkable. A blessing, something to celebrate, something to take beyond one's familiar walls with a reception (maybe depending on the number of years together). Something to spontaneously declare to strangers on the street, an occasion to spend a careless amount of money to emphasise the care one held for another. A mark of prolonged and unconditional dedication, resilience and most importantly, love.

But for Y/N and Aurélien, things were a little different. They were somewhat unorthodox, so outside the box that one could easily forget there was a box in the first place.

The two were far from the traditional mould that was a couple. While Y/N and Aurélien were together, while they have been married for some years—celebrating their 5th consecutive married year together—by the standards of a married couple, they weren't in love with each other. Whether by the fault of their own or universe, they didn't know and they stopped trying to understand the why some time ago.

Bound and bonded to one another legally and platonically (initially and still), and that was it. No pupils were dilating when one entered the room, nor were the two constellated stars gravitating towards one another in the vast expanse of the universe. None of that and less. Put simply, the two were best friends more than they were the standard husband and wife pairing.

Yet despite these interesting circumstances, what they had now was what they had wanted when they had first gotten together.

He raised their interlaced hands together into his vision and inspected their matching rings before pressing a kiss on hers. Pulling away, his facial expression now warmer and open to wandering conversation, he wondered, "Do... do you remember that day, when I proposed to you?" Aurélien scoffed out a small laugh. "I remember it well."

A flicker of recognition passed through Y/N's eyes, the memory in mind an imperfect blend of harder times and a cause for future contentment. She huffed out a humourless breath. "How could I forget? That's supposed to be our favourite day after all."

Normally, a marriage proposal day was sweet, romantic and thoughtful. Carefully planned out down to the ring and decor and all that way to the post-celebrations. An event to be surrounded by close family and friends, and later shared with strangers online. Y/N and Aurélien's engagement, however, really only highlighted the supposed flaws in their relationship or lack thereof. I mean wow, did they stray far beyond the ideal.

Before their relationship, a few days had two best friends consuming time together doing nothing and less. Having gone through separate break-ups within two weeks, the capacity to do anything remained null for both of them. To be discarded with no regard would always be a hard pill to swallow. It had been a period of agonising devastation and what felt like targeted heartache, the only instance where they had shared collective yet particular heartbreak.

The only thing that seemed to help one and vice versa was, well, the other. Knowing that they weren't alone in their misery was comforting. It made everything a little bit more bearable and breathing in and out easier. In time, all would be alright.

And it was one late night—contained in darkness by closed blinds with crappy reality TV as the only light source in the room, surrounded by scraps of treats and leftover takeaways, leaning on one another for comfort and companionship under a shared blanket—it was Aurélien who had laughed quietly and pondered, "What if we got married?"

He didn't plan on saying that, truly. Dazed and occasionally beyond his thoughts, he almost didn't register himself speaking those words; it had barely been a complete thought in his mind. It had been an ill-formed wonder that he just let out, believing that its influence would be inconsequential to the current and future circumstances. For a moment, he thought nothing of it.

But then Aurélien came out of his daze, returned to a rational mind—actually deeped what he had said—and realised that he had really meant them with a whole heart. He had been serious and he couldn't bring himself to retract what had been said. And when he turned to Y/N all he found were imaging feelings and expressions. A hint of confusion and surprise, but trust and favour in the indirect proposal.

And so that was it. From there, Aurélien and Y/N had their wedding a few months later. One surrounded by close family and friends, and later shared with strangers online.

Though when they did get married, they got married as two lifelong best friends. There had been no romantic or intimate love between them. Aurélien and Y/N made the dangerous assumption that once they grew and got settled in this new marriage, love would naturally follow. That with time they would fall in love. That they would finally see one another from different perspectives.

But none of that ever happened. Natural time and their own efforts tragically birthed nothing between the couple.

"But, like, I wouldn't change it for the world, you know," she said, letting a hand drift along the nape of his neck. "You know that right?"

Even though they weren't in love with one another and didn't traditionally love each other as a couple, they held no bitterness about it. Aurélien and Y/N didn't fault one another for it. There was no point when it was all beyond their control. After all, they never held anything romantic for each other in any light even when others thought otherwise. From when they had just been kids, passing through their adolescent years together to coming up as young adults. They had always been null of romantic love so they weren't exactly surprised that love was nowhere to be found years into their marriage.

Perhaps it was unfortunate to hear—and when they were reminded enough about it, sometimes it was momentarily blue for Aurélien and Y/N too—but they have accepted that they would never fall in love with one another and romantic love was beyond their reach. Instead, they chose to be content with being best friends who would spend the rest of their lives together. They chose to be content knowing one would never experience heartache and misery at the hands of the other. They found assured safety in one another.

For where they lacked sufficient love, their pre-existing best friend nature held the two closely together and stretched so far. It was extraordinary and absolute to the point where others often misperceived them to be the standard "loving" husband and wife pair.

'Cause when you have two people who longed for partnership due to others' expectations, constant upset in past relationships and aligned goals for and beyond oneself– that intimacy of shared experiences– all of a sudden the idea of marriage didn't sound so bad.

To hold a remarkable understanding for each other in a way that wasn't blurred by the delusions of love, to rest up with someone who had and would always want the best for the other since the beginning of time—it all made Y/N and Aurélien cherish themselves, each other and their relationship just a little bit more. It reduced the pressure to confide in a customary marriage.

And so despite their faults, they were happy and fulfilled, and that was all they needed. Well, at least for the most part.

Aurélien bit the inside of his cheek and expressed a strained grin as he nodded. He was trying to convince himself that he truly believed Y/N's word. Of course he wanted to, but those background thoughts always seemed to irk him one way or another. Obviously, she wouldn't drop our marriage for anything else... right? "Yeah. Of course... of course."

But Y/N saw Aurélien as he was. His gaze wandering presently and the mute unsteadiness in his tone and words weren't sufficient to convince her to move the conversation forward. Her eyebrows furrowed with worry. "I heard that, you know."

"Heard what?" He tried to keep her mind busy and away from the conversation. Maintaining his gaze with hers, letting his hand linger over her waist. Still, it all wasn't enough to keep her concerns for him at bay. In fact, they never had been enough.

"What I said." It was only after Y/N pronounced those words that she realised what she had said, what she was implying by voicing her worries. Her face fell as she detached herself from Aurélien and moved away from him. "You do believe I would trade our relationship for something else."

Aurélien's eyes widened as he shook his head. "What? No, no, no." He reached out for Y/N and thankfully she didn't refuse his touch. Though her reluctance was indeed there and present—the pronounced frown on her lips, slowly folding into herself—and that's what pained him the most. He was the cause of her sudden unwillingness towards him. He unravelled her arms over her stomach and wrapped his hands over hers. He ensured, "You have it all wrong, I promise. It's just in my head. Don't worry about it. Just forget what I said."

Soon, Y/N brought herself back to Aurélien and centred her focus on him again. He told her to forget everything he had just said, to not worry about it all. And she wanted to go along with what he was insisting. She wanted to think all is okay, my husband is telling the truth but she knew couldn't. While Aurélien wasn't an open book per se, he was unintentionally expressive when he assumed otherwise. So even if he said all was perfect and okay, she usually found that her concerns were justified and now was one of those dreadful times.

"You know I can't do that." A beat. "I'll always trust you. I try not to worry if you don't give me a reason to worry. But the fact you could barely say yes to me saying that I'm content with us being together..." Her voice drifted away as she inhaled a thin breath, "I don't know, but that sounds like something I should worry about. Come on, Auré. It's our anniversary. What's wrong?"

Aurélien rubbed his thumb over her hand and mumbled, "You don't want to hear this right now." While it may be the right thing to do, he didn't know if letting Y/N in would be the right thing for them right now. He didn't want to ruin the moment. Today—their anniversary—a day Y/N cherished far more than he did. The sober mood in their kitchen really made one forget the unique occasion for the day.

"Rest assured, I do." She chuckled a bit before saying, in a small voice, reassuring and welcoming as she invited Aurélien to stand up, "I always want to hear what you have to say." It was then that Y/N realised she had to put aside those initial emotions. If he were to lift up his voice and externalise his problems, he would need an embracing space, one void of judgement and assumption.

"Okay." Leaning back against the kitchen island, his eyes drifted to the flowers before quickly returning to Y/N, whose look upon him didn't falter from curiosity and intention. "You know... you know I wouldn't resent you if you ever wanted to pursue another relationship or... ended up falling in love with someone other than me." A broken expression laced his features. Aurélien never thought he would ever utter those words, speak these fears of his into existence or allow them to provoke havoc in his marriage. Yet here he was there, accomplishing the three all at the same time.

And that was evident, what they were about to do and cause when Y/N's neutral expression almost crumbled. "You think about that? Me leaving you one day?"

"It's not like I'm wishing for it to happen." Never in a million years. "I want you. I want us. But... even if you've never thought about it, I know that the chance is still there for you to be with someone else and I honestly wouldn't be mad." His shoulders slumped at the thought of everything. Still, Aurélien had enough willpower to offer his wife something of a smile though it failed to reach his eyes. "Probably upset sure but I would accept it. Anything to make you happy."

He wasn't upset with the state of their relationship. It was fine that they weren't actually in love with one another. In fact, he thought their dynamic only made them stronger and more resilient to certain conditions. What frightened Aurélien—what he could acknowledge—was the fact that this "loveless" marriage potentially made them more vulnerable to longing for love. That innocent and unintentional desire to fall in love and find their true love in someone else that wasn't each other.

At the beginning of the relationship the couple had agreed that, if one encountered those infrequent moments of inward desperation and desire for something, one could experience and explore intimacy beyond the marriage. However, Aurélien and Y/N quickly learned how to share, practice and experience intimacy beyond their love incapacities and they were exclusive to one another so the rule was scrapped before it would become a problem.

But the possibility was still there. Not for Aurélien though. After all, he had a firm distaste for the idea of looking for love in someone. He was the one who had declared that he had given up on love weeks before the two got together. But for not Y/N.

He saw Y/N and familiarised himself with her attributes. Even though she had agreed to his proposal, even though she was indeed his wife, that didn't stop her from still feeling deeply. Perhaps she sometimes wished to love deeply, too. She didn't want to stop feeling because of Aurélien and his inability to get over his past relationship trauma. Divorce was a viable option for her, and he would say nothing but agree. She could leave him behind if she really wanted to.

And that's what frightened Aurélien gravely. Not necessarily letting her go. But rather that maybe he was holding Y/N back. Stunting her chances of falling in love and being in a "real" marriage to provide his misery with company. He and their marriage—something he had initiated and imposed on her—could actively be stopping Y/N from forming meaningful connections with people beyond him.

Even though they had lengthy conversations by themselves and with family before going ahead with everything, he still wondered if she ever felt pressured to go along with his proposal. It didn't fail to cross his mind every now and then that she had only broken up with her ex-partner a week or so before he had dropped the question on her.

So it really made Aurélien question everything they had built up over the years. Was it fair for them to be in a relationship? To be married and not in love with each other even by the slightest when the prospect of experiencing both at the same time was still highly probable.

Emotional pain trekked up his throat yet Aurélien persisted. He cleared his throat. "You deserve to have the life you've always wanted, even if you realise it later in life."

Then there was silence. Aurélien expected more of a reaction from Y/N. Yet all she could muster up was a slight, "No."

"No?" His nose wrinkled up. "What— what do you mean?"

"I said no, Auré," she repeated, her words now more firm. "It hurts that you think so little of me." Then her voice softened, outward passion in her words. "I have everything I want with you yet you think I don't love the life I have with you?" Y/N didn't like that he was treating her with pity, acting like she was with him reluctantly. He couldn't be farther from the truth.

"I'm being serious here—"

"So am I! So serious in fact." Y/N inched closer to Aurélien but maintained a small distance between them. Close and just within reach. She questioned, "Tell me, honey. What about our marriage makes you think that I'm unfulfilled when I'm with you? You think our relationship is just a placeholder for me or something?" It was just all confusing to her. Why does he think I don't cherish him the same way he does with me?

Rubbing a palm over his face, Aurélien pushed out a breath. "Like I said, it's in my head." And that was all he could say. 'Cause even though he explained everything in full, his reasons were illogical. Y/N had yet to give him a valid reason for him to believe that she wanted to leave him in the near future. Still, these thoughts remained steady and piercing in his mind. In his heart, deep, deep down, he knew these thoughts had no real bearing on his relationship. Yet the great wonders of mind found a way to make the end of his marriage seem pending.

He was trying to dismiss the concern but she wouldn't have any of it. "And that's the worst place for it to be."

Y/N felt her body deflate. Suddenly, she was upset. Not because of what Aurélien had been thinking about her, himself and their relationship. But simply because he's been thinking those thoughts; the fact that they were his thoughts to carry and experience over and over when they came to mind. Thoughts he has had to come to terms with possibly. They have been festering his mind, expanding into further negative thoughts and making Aurélien question the state of their relationship, even if it was all unintentional on his part.

And what scared Y/N was that he'd been dealing with these thoughts inwardly by himself for God knows how long. So she didn't know the extent of them and how far they'd come since they first troubled Aurélien with doubt, and that just made it harder for her to know how far she should extend her hand to him. To let her husband know that he shouldn't give them any validation.

"It's just in your head but it's to the point where you have basically given me permission to leave everything we have behind if I wanted to."

"Yeah..."

Y/N nodded slowly, the gears in her head turning until she understood things a bit better than before. "Can I tell you how I feel, like truly?"

He saw no reason not to. "Tell me how you feel."

"I think we got a lot going for us, don't you think?"

He lightly tugged at his ear. "I mean sure... but like what exactly?"

"Well, let's see..." She strung out a sigh, seemingly thoughtful when really sarcastic. She began counting on her fingers. "I mean we are both stable and well-accomplished in our respective careers. We built and designed our home. We've been declared the favoured couple in our friend group. We're about to become godparents again. We reached all our goals last year and will probably do the same this year. We haven't missed one morning run this year yet. Let's see, uh— oh, we got an orange tree in our back garden."

"Yeah, we do have an orange tree." Aurélien couldn't help but laugh a bit. Of course, only Y/N would find meaning in something others would observe and judge as minuscule.

"Exactly. Here, come on." Y/N held out her arms, offering her embrace and he was quick to fall into them with ease.

Physical intimacy was one of the few normal aspects that remained present in their non-traditional relationship. And even though it was habitual, he always found himself longing for it specifically from Y/N. Longing to fall into her embrace when he finally got to see her after a match. Longing for her touch when he woke up and before he went to bed for the day. It reminded him that there would always be someone for him to intimately lean on.

And when she accepted his touch with open arms—'cause she had yet to deny him—it reminded Aurélien that he wasn't alone in this relationship when he was made to feel otherwise.

Pulling away to face him, she asked, "Can I speak frankly?" When he nodded, she continued. "I'm not saying we're better or worse than other people for having what we have or whatever. I'm just saying this..." Her hands drifted from his shoulders to his cheeks, holding onto his face dearly. She regarded him in a similar way; a tender gaze evident in her adoring eyes and smile, and all directed towards him. "I choose you— this right here."

"You can obviously out-pace me by flying colours during our runs but still choose to run by my side. You take our oranges and give them to your friends when ripening season comes around. You take the time to celebrate me for the small wins I get. You took the initiative to build us up when we were technically nothing.

"I mean c'mon, Auré." Her laugh fluttered with wonder. Does he really not know much he means to me? His potential, his force of nature? Then Y/N settled her voice before she declared softly, "If you were the last person on Earth, it would be enough. I would choose you, me and the way that we are over and over and over again. In every universe, in every scenario, I choose you. I always have and will have faith in us until we are no more. You hear me?"

What Y/N understood better was that she needed to shift the focus away from what possibly could be to what already was. Aurélien needed to hear that he wasn't some placeholder for some bigger plans. That he was here with her now and that's how she wanted it to be for years to come. That their matrimony was just and would be long-lasting. That she shined brightly and never dimmed but only because he was the sun. That she was a whole lot by herself but he made her better in every way possible. That he contributed just as much as she did to their relationship. In fact, he contributed to her person in more ways than she could count.

He also validated her as his wife in a lot of ways too. He taught her that there were kinder ways of saying her name. He always came into the kitchen hungry for her food and company. It was him who opened her eyes to the practicalities of a routine. At any time if she asked it of him, he would get behind her and hug her and breathe her in and turn her around and kiss her with life and purpose, ultimately making Y/N feel like she was a lovable woman.

And with all of that in mind, she wouldn't receive their situation in any other way. Aurélien and YN were imperfectly right for one another.

"Yeah. I do, I do." Aurélien had his face pressed up against her palm as he watched and listened to her fondly. 'Cause he was grateful. Grateful for her words that were exclusive to him, her faith in him—in them as an imperfect pair—and her ability to fill his once miserable day with positivity. And it was worth it considering it was their anniversary.

"I'm glad you understand – as you should," she said, patting his shoulders. "Also I know it doesn't make me feel any kind of way but I mean look at you," Y/N gestured to his covered figure, causing Aurélien's laughter to echo around the room. Not being in love romantically didn't mean they couldn't acknowledge or care for each other's aesthetic fronts. It just all came with a lack of explicit feelings, sometimes none at all.

"But look at you."

"He's doing it again," she rolled her eyes with a cheeky grin as Aurélien pulled her back towards him. She hummed, appreciating the intimacy in their closeness. All was okay, all seemed okay between the two. Still, Y/N chose to reassure that, "We're okay. We're fine just the way we are. 'Cause at the end of the day, even with our faults, we can still be the handsome guy and his beautiful wife."

"You're not letting that go, huh?" Aurélien leaned his head back but a small wave of laughter came over him regardless. He couldn't even blame her if he wanted to; he was the same some minutes ago.

She gave him a pointed look, some elements of satire under the cover. "You're really gonna criticise a girl while she celebrates her and her husband's 5th anniversary?"

He seemed to wear an expression of vague amusement. "I think I can 'cause, I don't know, I'm said husband."

"Exactly," Y/N said, her voice warm and delicate. She directed a grin towards him and he returned it generously before they shared a pleasant embrace. "How lucky am I?"

Truly, it didn't matter that they couldn't harbour any romantic feelings for one another. 'Cause behind their favouring regards laid admiration, fulfilment and fondness in abundance and beyond. All enough and more to keep Aurélien and Y/N intertwined with one another indefinitely. And if they ever found themselves lost and separated, they would give over a lifetime to finding each other again.

[achaotichuman]

ACOTAR Discussion

Okay, so recently my mutual @sonics-atelier posted this fic Perfect To Me (which is so fucking amazing, I cried, go read it rn) and in this fic, they write about Tamlin developing an eating disorder (specifically anorexia) since his body changed after starting to get Spring back on its feet. And it started me down a whole rant about fictional characters being the pinnacle of beauty standards, specifically in relation to what they're bodies look like. So, to save my mutuals the long spam texts about my thoughts, I'm gonna post em here.

General trigger warning- Discussion of a variety of eating disorders, body dysmorphia and Cassian.

SJM covers disordered eating within ACOTAR, it happens specifically to the female characters. And this is something, I have a huge problem with. That might seem like a massive asshole sentence, but let me explain my thought process.

These eating disorders are not well respresented, they do not further affect the plot, they only serve to be an outward appearance to the male saviour characters that something is wrong, and they never appear on the female characters in a way that makes them any less pretty, in fact, I would say, the resulting skinniness from said disordered eating, is the desired result. By that I mean, yes I think SJM writes her female characters starving themselves to make them fit the female beauty standard.

This is very evident with Nesta, who somehow miraculously only grows thinner in the waist and hips when she is starving herself. But still has massive breasts which Cassian makes a point of oogling, despite noticing how thin she is everywhere else. Instead of taking Nesta's not wanting to eat anything and turning it into a plot point for her character in which she learns to take care of and eventually love her new Fae body, SJM decides to further starve Nesta, but Cassian limiting her sugar intake, so she reminds the same 000 size in the waist.

Now, onto what really, truly makes me angry within SJM's series. Character's gaining weight, rather than losing it.

This happens once in the series. It is one singular comment, that put me off Cassian forever.

"You need to get out in the practice ring, brother. Don't want your mate to find any soft bits."

This comment was from Cassian to Rhysand in the third chapter of ACOSF, after looking Rhys up and down pretty much.

May seem like a harmless jab to a lot of people, but take into account all of the context around it.

Cassian had just been eyeing Nesta's body-clearly suffering from the effects of long-term starvation, like a hunk of meat.

They had just won a war not long ago-still coming down from the stress highs that would have no doubt been enough to put any normal person in bed for a month.

Rhysand had only recently found out about Feyre's pregnancy, if I remember correctly-would have also found out about the risks, and would be dealing the extreme stress that would be causing.

It would be incredibly normal for Rhysand to gain weight because of all these factors. Not to mention this being the first (and I'm fairly certain) only time, SJM's mentions a male character gaining weight, and it being in such a negative light, could only suggest she, and thus Cassian, find the idea unappealing or perhaps downright abhorrent.

Which really fucking pisses me off.

Most of her female characters have experienced a form of anorexia throughout the books as a trauma or stress response. And it never exists to go further than making them more conventionally attractive.

Now further on her male characters, not a single one of them ever has an ounce of fat on their body. Weight gain is entirely out of the question, even when it should be the obvious occurrence due to whatever change in their situation.

Now this also brings me to another problem I have, which also leeches into fandom behaviour.

We all love Tamlin's tits, ofc, ofc, but muscle behaves like fat if its not being actively flexed. Tamlin's pectoral muscles are no doubt incredibly strong, and would, probably be able to crack a nut (no pun intended) if flexed. But if they werent, they would be soft and squishy. No one talks about THAT THOUGH DO YOU???

Not to mention, that, Tamlin is a beast creature, wandering the forests, not training or exercising properly, and is only gouging on the carcasses of animals he kills. This could be an excellent time to lean into weight gain, and the intense feelings of guilt, and body dysmorphia that it brings.

Lets also discuss Gwyn, a traumatised young woman who fled to the Library in order to live a life of peace. She has never trained a day in her life before becoming a Valkyrie, why is she so skinny?

It's never mentioned Gwyn having any kind of reaction to her trauma that affects her eating (as far as I remember) and I think it would be far more interesting to delve into the effects grief and the lose of a dear loved one has on the body and ones eating habits.

Lets talk about Elain, who is said to use baking a coping mechanism, why is she skinny? This is the perfect opportunity to delve into a character binge eating, then extreme guilt from the times where they were in poverty, and purging. But finding comfort in food because food = wealth, wealth =safety.

And in the end, a character can be fat and be happy. Why do we have so many characters that are so thin at the end of their books?

So many of these characters also have near no stability, their diet would not doubt be changing constantly from the inconsistency in their living situations. Which should to lead to drastic changes in their body. This could be a very interesting way to explore body dysphoria. Hating seeing yourself in the mirror even if you just survived battle, because you can hardly recognise yourself. Changing so much in the mind and not even having the comfort of your body being the same. Especially with Nesta and Elain being Made against their will. I honestly believe Nesta's starvation should have been her hating her new Fae body so much that she just wants to destroy it. Her healing, should have been learning to love herself, no matter what body she is in.

In the end, your body is you, but you are more than your body. Bodies are such incredibly fascinating tool, and people don't always have to like what it looks like to care for it. Bodies can be smaller, bigger, stronger, they take your brain wherever it wants to go. But they are not all of you. And that should have been what especially Nesta's journey could have been.

Anyway, this is incredibly sensitive topic for a lot of people, so I do really want to open this up to everyone. What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you think SJM's portrayal of eating disorders is justified, or do you think I'm wrong on any of these points? Let me know in either the comments or the reblogs, I would be happy to discuss it.

[uncannydevotion]

So I was going through this account and your old account (loved you and your writing since foreverr), and I kind of saw how Liu/Sully are characterized as overprotective (I don’t know if that’s the proper term or if I’m even reading the character right lmao), but like…lowkey what would happen if theres a relationship and they become too suffocating and the s/o tries to break it off? Would they crash out? 😭 (in a possible yandere way?)

squeezing you affectionately i wasnt gonna write today i really wasnt but but but this got sent in and i just. here. here. take this.

warnings: written in one sitting and not proofread, yandere content, unhealthy relationships, dependency, stalking, overprotective behavior, behavior that can be considered obsessive, sully points a gun at you im sorry, implied kidnapping.

wc: 1.4k words.

Liu wasn't a bad guy.

You knew this intimately. Liu was far from a horrible guy. From the moment you met him, he was nothing but kind and understanding. He has his flaws, sure, but so does every other person. And those flaws never took away from how... nice he was.

It was easy falling in love with him, really. He never tried forcing anything on you, he always listened, he remembered everything you told him, even things that most people would consider minor. Honestly, you were shocked to learn that he wasn't already dating someone.

And Sully... well, he's not as nice as Liu.

It took you time to get used to him when he introduced himself to you. Unlike Liu, Sully didn't seem to really... care about people. He was selfish, and was the type to just do things without thinking much about how it could harm others. He never actively tried hurting others, but he never cared if he did either.

So when you found yourself falling in love with Sully as well, it left you feeling a bit... guilty, to be honest. Not only because Sully was... well... Sully, but also because you were already in love with Liu, so isn't it weird being in love with someone else too? But it didn't feel wrong loving them both.

To be honest, when you did start dating them, nothing changed. Liu was as kind as ever, if not a bit more openly affectionate, and Sully was still pretty mean at times, but he was less mean when you were around so... you'll take what you can get.

But it was perfect. You, and your two boyfriends in one body.

When Liu started becoming protective, you hadn't thought much of it. He'd freak out a bit over some small injuries you'd get. Small burns when you'd cook, the occasional time you'd trip over yourself and hit the ground. It was cute, honestly.

You understood that due to his past, he was deeply terrified of losing people. It's a fear of his that you tried your best to help him through, and it wasn't one that you ever thought could get out of hand.

Sure, Sully wouldn't sometimes stare at you for a few moments too long before sighing and saying something like, 'We should just lock you up.' but... he's always had a weird sense of humor, so you never let it get to you.

But... the longer you dated them, the more... suffocating they'd started to become. With Liu, if you were out and didn't update him on your wellbeing every few hours, he'd call you until you answered. He used to not stay the night all that often, but now he insists on staying with you every night, to ensure your safety.

If you went out with friends, he'd basically interrogate you about them. Who are they? Where do they work? How did you meet? Would you trust them to keep you safe? How do you know you can trust them?

And Sully wasn't any better. He would basically stalk you whenever you went out, and he wasn't shy about it either. Whenever you'd try talking to him about it, he'd just shrug and say something along the lines of, 'I'm just making sure you don't die.'

You're fairly certain he's even gone through your phone a few times, but you never brought it up because you didn't want to accuse him, either of them, of something if they didn't do it.

It hurt you to even have this conversation with them, but enough was enough.

"We should break up."

The words sounded wrong, but you refused to swallow them. Your heart was racing and you felt sick but you knew this was for the best. They were far too protective, and Liu seemed unhealthily dependent on you at times. Like he'd simply stop functioning if you disappeared. He needed help, help that you can't give him.

There's an expression of confusion, followed quickly by something akin to anguish when he registers your words. Liu seemed to struggle to speak for a moment, lips opening and closing for a few moments before he finally manages a small, "Why?"

And you explained it to him. You told him about how his protective behavior was starting to feel suffocating, how your friends were starting to distance themselves from you because he (of which you can only assume to be Sully) always glares at them whenever they're around, how your privacy felt nonexistent most days with them around.

It almost seemed as if he was going to accept that this was happening, but then there was a shift. His expression smoothed out for a moment before he looked at you like you were the crazy one here.

"No."

And it didn't take a genius for you to realize you were speaking with Sully now, from the way he seemed completely apathetic to your concerns.

"No? You can't just say no to someone breaking up with you, that's not how this works."

But your words didn't seem to reach him. That, or he was just choosing to ignore him because he just sweetly smiles in such a way that it makes your blood run cold, "I said no, angel." And his usual affectionate name for you sounding mocking rather than loving, something that put you on edge.

In the time that you've known Sully, you've never felt in danger around him. He went out of his way to make you feel comfortable, honestly, but now... now, you're reminded that this man wouldn't hesitate to kill another. What's stopping him from killing you?

"...You should leave. Now, please."

But Sully didn't move. He just stared, and it felt like he was looking right into your very soul, and it made you feel really sick.

"Fine, if you aren't going to leave, then I will," You huff, but you couldn't even stand up before he was pushing you back down on the couch, practically straddling you, and you could feel cool metal pressing against your forehead.

He... he just pulled a fucking gun on you. A mixture of shock and betrayal outweighs any fear you felt as you look up at Sully, half expecting him to just shoot you.

But he'd never do that, no.

Sully would never hurt you. Could never hurt you. He just needs you to behave, that's all.

"Don't look so distraught," He coos, his free hand coming up to lovingly cup your cheek and wipe away tears you hadn't realized were falling, "You know I can't let you leave. Liu needs you," He pauses, a look of consideration before he softly admits, "I need you."

The admission would've been romantic. He'd never really verbally expressed his love for you before, but now it just... it makes you feel wrong.

"We can just consider this a lover's quarrel, yeah? Make up and move on,"

It didn't seem like Sully had any plans on listening to a single word from your mouth unless it's something he wanted to hear, but you shake your head nonetheless, "I don't want to 'make up and move on'. You're aiming a fucking gun at me for crying out loud! How can I possibly move on from that?!"

And he rolls his eyes at your words, as if you were being dramatic over something you had every right to be angry about. It almost seemed as if he wanted to say something, but his gaze unfocused, and when he blinked, that annoyance was gone.

Instead, he looked mortified, lowering the gun against your head.

And for a moment, you felt a flicker of hope. If you can't convince Sully to let you leave, then surely you can convince Liu, right?

But he didn't pull the gun away. He wasn't aiming it at you, but it was there, and that told you everything you needed to know. Liu wasn't going to let you leave either.

"I'm sorry," He whispers over and over again, and there's tears in his eyes as he rests his forehead against your shoulder. As if forcing you to stay with him was painful to him.

And maybe it was, but...

This world is simply far too dangerous. How is he supposed to keep you safe when you want to go out all the time? It's... it's for the best, he thinks, to take you away. Somewhere where no one can find you, that way you'll be safe. The thought makes Liu sick, guilt eating at him, but... nothing can take you from him.

He and Sully will keep you safe, always. Even if you hate them for it.

[makeyoumine69]

Hello dear people in my beloved American Psycho fandom! I couldn't force myself to write this post because I didn't know how to do it, but I think now is the right time. I promised myself not to bring personal stuff into my writing, but since one thing affects another, I think I should finally speak up.

This year started pretty bad for me, I was suffering from a huge apathy and my mental health was probably in the worst state in the last few years. I had to cut ties with a lot of people and distance myself, and I'm really sorry for doing that, but I had no choice because I was literally dying from the inside. When I came back to Tumblr in 2022, I was absolutely alone and I had no friends, no followers and in some ways I felt calm and peaceful. I always thought and probably still think that I should be alone and isolated from everyone, like a soulless writing machine just producing fanfictions for people to consume. Maybe this is not a bad thing, because interacting with people always carries the risk of getting bruised?

Anyway, the thing that broke me completely was the news I received in the last days of January that I would be fired in February because my company decided to close the project I was working on due to the high inflation and bad economic situation in Russia. So now I have to find a job within February because I have a lot of financial responsobilities like paying for the medical treatment my family is getting. My grandmother was diagnosed with kidney cancer and her surgery was paid for by me and my fiancé, but the medicine costs a lot, so… after I told my mom about my news, she blamed me for everything. I was not really surprised though, considering that I have been having fights with my whole family for the past few months over different topics, but mostly they hate me for my political opinions. Whenever I say that I am tired of the war, sanctions and all the other stuff that 2022 has brought, they call me a fucking traitor. My family is ready to cancel me just because I told them I was tired of living in isolation, that I had even forgotten what my life was like before the war. My fiancé is literally the only person in my family who supports me, and even though I'm going to lose my job, he told me he would do anything for me, for us, but I don't want to be a burden. I'm really scared about the future, I think I really am now.

So, I'm sorry for not finishing the Christmas fics I promised to post, I'll try to finish them soon. Also, I'm sorry for not being active with fulfilling the requests and replying to your asks. I'm really sorry. And I know some of you might think that why I keep writing new series and working on different stuff while I have WIPs I need to finish—I'm just trying to follow my muse and I can say that it's really unstable these days, but I'm really trying to do my best and deliver something good for all of you!

I also want to thank all of you who have supported me with your donations! It means the world to me! Unfortunately, my account on the platform I was using for donations has been suspended because of… DOLLARS! They think I'm a scammer or something because the dollar is such a cursed currency in Russia right now, so I don't know if they'll unban my account, I hope they will.

Okay, that was longer than I thought it would be. To end this crazy rant, I just want to thank you guys for sticking with me no matter how fucked up I might be! I believe that one day I will find my way back to myself so that I can come back strong and refreshed!

[drdemonprince]

I was writing this when I saw your most recent substack post on sexuality, so please forgive if I'm not super coherent.

As someone who has been living in a country without much, if any, real legal protections for most of my time as an out trans person, that while I understand the fear right now is high it was not until a few years ago that we did not exist at all in the public consciousness. That terrible prison show was the first time a trans woman appeared in a not "haha look at the gross tranny" way, and that was maybe 10 years ago. Non-binary people existence is even more recent. While I get having a bunch of religious fanatics hate you sucks, from what I gathered despite some claiming otherwise, the rest of the people don't really care that much. It's an issue that gets blown up by the media because it's nice and controversial which gets ratings (or these days, clicks/views), and, as a made-up problem, allows politicians to appear strong and decisive. (Also, there being lots of local differences and court stuff I can't even begin to understand influencing this because your country is very confusing.) It's hard for me to properly measure what people claim and what is actually true.

Come what comes, but there's a difference between preparing for the worst and assuming it already happens. This is going to sound callous, but people need to remember that as much as it sucks to stuck in survival mode and not being able to get government documents corrected, they probably have the grit deep-down to get through this. Maybe it's easy for me to talk, I used to work in building when I was on hormones, didn't tell anyone in that setting, and just shrugged it off and cherished the time I spent with friends & supportive people who knew me as *me*, and lied through my teeth whenever it was necessary and off from being assaulted a few times (not work related, school days) without major injuries because I was good at getting the fuck out. Then again, I've had a therapist tell me I'm scary good at compartmentalizing, so take that as you will.

Now we finally get to why that post about sexuality prompted all this. The bit about the trans woman finally being able to relax when dommed... That struck a nerve, which is strange because I don't really have much sex-drive, but that kind of softness is not something I've had in my life much. Always in the role of taking care and looking after others, never being on the receiving end, not just emotionally, but sexually also because oh dear is it an ordeal when people project the trans dommy mommy shit on you. Especially as now, 8 years after the first go around I find myself being the calm and collected one supporting others again and it's not even a conscious act on my or their behalf, despite setting boundaries (and having them respected mainly) I somehow got the invisible label of "mom who got her shit together" (as if) when I too would sometimes like to unwind and get fucked properly into the next timezone.

thank you for your message. I hope that a lot of younger or less seasoned American trans people who are freaking the fuck out right now are able to put some of their own understandable stress activation aside to read it and really take it in. also, it's a real bummer when people lean on you to always be the strong and capable one. and it is miserable how this role gets voiced upon us simply by virtue of having endured a great deal, or having grown a little bit older than some other people. obviously in your case this dynamic is far more deeply entrenched because of misogyny and transmisogyny and how that shapes people's expectations of the labor that women provide to them, especially trans women, but I do understand a little bit of how miserable it feels to be shunted into that kind of role. and I hope that somebody really just pounds you into the mattress or gives you whatever kind of sexual attention and care-taking helps you feel weak and needy and okay and like somebody else has it all together for a while sometime soon.

[lillxart]

Sujamma Sundas!

Thank you for the tag @theoneandonlysemla

Tagging: @dirty-bosmer @firefly-factory @illumiera @thequeenofthewinter @hircines-hunter @ladytanithia @pocket-vvardvark @sanza-17 @ijiwaruuma @sulphuricgrin @kiir-do-faal-rahhe @fujisakisan @skyrim-forever

Don't have to participate if you don't wanna :p

Topic: This week, Sujamma wants to know about YOUR OC's special someone. What makes their relationship special? How did they meet? Were they enemies to lovers? Lovers to enemies? Lovers AND Enemies? Are they romantic or platonic? What's their favorite way to cuddle? Favorite date night? Anything and everything you can think of 💕

WHO DO I CHOOSE?

Ondolemar or Hi'rem?? -3- hmmmmmm~

I'll go with Ondolemar!~

Snow White's first ever true love is Justiciar Ondolemar! :P He's her first hubby and they get married in the forests of Riften in secret.

What makes Snow White's relationship special with Ondolemar is he's very patient and loving with her and doesn't berate her for how childish and niave she is, or how differently her brain works. Instead of calling her an idiot (though he did used to do that) he redirects her and shows her the right way to go about something, and also helps her verbalize her emotions and communicate properly when she's having a hard time doing so herself.

They met in Markarth. Snow White heard about the infamous murder capital and thought it would be a great chance to get some money since she's always broke. They crossed paths with each other and for Snow White, it was love at first sight. "You have the privilege of speaking to the Thalmor, bask in it!" That was IT for her. Snow White doesn't know it, but she has a thing for men with enormous egos. XD

I wouldn't call it enemies to lovers, but it was definitely a 'Annoying-fly-that-never-leaves-me-alone to lovers' at least, on Ondolemar's end.

100% Romantic, they get mushy with each other and everything.

Snow White will cuddle with Ondolemar litterally anywhere, she will cuddle with him in Black Reach if the need arises. No Falmer, just cuddles. For Ondolemar his favorite place to cuddle Snow White is on the couch at Vlindrel Hall after eating a lovely dinner. Favorite date night to Snow White would be exploring a crypt together, for Ondolemar it would be walking through one of Alinor's beautiful flower gardens.

Some extra facts~! When Snow White throws a fit Ondolemar normally waits until she tuckers herself out then gives her a glass of warm milk to help her calm down. Does the trick every time.

At first Snow White's toddler-like behavior infuriated him but after he accepted he was in love with her and got closer Ondolemar realized he is literally no better. He goes into a blind rage whenever he hears Talos worshippers speak their nonsense or when Nords go out of their way to make his life difficult. The difference is that Snow White is the way she is by no fault of her own and she actively recognizes the problem and tries to fix it. Ondolemar, however, is not only older than her but wiser, and as an esteemed mer he has absolutely no excuse for his own 'fits'. Hence why her temper tantrums don't faze him anymore.

Ondolemar loves how absolutely ready Snow White is to drag him into some mischievous scheme, just slotting him into her whims like he's supposed to be there. Gives him a chuckle and makes his life more interesting. His favorite so far has been "Let's have sex in Jarl Ulfric's bed! :D"

When Ondolemar is having a bad day Snow White will lay on the floor by his desk and write or journal or color or just do something. Her being in the general area relaxes him. When he starts drumming his fingers against the desk or gets a little too aggressive with his pen strokes she'll get up and hug him from behind, silently letting him know that its time to take a break, or gives him room to vent his troubles.

Snow White will hide underneath Ondolemar's bed and pretend she's a monster. Partially because she thinks its funny, and partially because being underneath Ondolemar's bed makes her feel safe. Surrounded by his scent. She feels loved that way, that she's allowed to be under there and know that Ondolemar will let her stay under there as long as she needs.

[tiny-space-platypus]

My friends and I have decided that Mia is Tim's Robin era karma. So here's a bunch of little things I could write into a full story but don't feel like it rn.

When Tim first meets Mia he assumes she's a part of the We Are Robins. Not necessarily a safe decision for a freshman but at least she's part of a team. Tim only finds out later that no, she isn't. She's just Damian's friend who's going to get herself killed at this rate doing Scooby Doo activities in Gotham. So Sophomore year, Mia gets an offer from Red Robin himself to train her. Tim has no idea what he's dropped himself into.

The first thing Tim asked was to see where she hid her gear and well, it wasn't hidden. Her suit was just folded in her drawers and her equipment stored in another bright yellow school bag. First thing to fix, get her a different bag. Jesus how has this kid not died??

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・

Mia: Well normally I don't fight people. Except for the time where I do like when I had a sword fight on the roof.

Tim: You what??

Mia: ʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃ

Tim: Mia what???

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・

Mia complaining about school: the stupid owl people are back! They're not even scary just weird.

Tim who was working now isn't because what fuck Mia: Owl people? Explain?

Mia: you know the weirdos with the bird masks who make owl noises to summon each other?

Tim: The Court of Owls. The Court of Owls is meeting at Gotham Academy?

Mia: Yep! They meet like every month. Sometimes they try to give us feathers like weirdos.

Tim: They what?

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・

Mia whispering: Could you be my adult? My parents aren't picking up and Kyle's out of state.

Tim sighing and preparing to leave WE early now: What did you do?

Mia: Dex Fail. I fell off the bell tower. Again.

Tim: You WHAT? Again??

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・

Mia: TIM I MADE A NEW MAP

Tim: oh cool let- This is a map of the owl catacombs.

Mia: Leveled up my Dex stat ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ

Tim visibly stressed: HOW?? HOW DID YOU- WHY??

Mia: I walked. It's not hard

Tim: I'm calling Bruce.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・

Tim: Yeah B got lost in Tim for a little while-

Mia: Oh I did that!

Tim: What.

Mia: yeah there was this clock on the school grounds with a beautiful vampire heart in it that allowed for time travel. A weird green radioactive skeleton man came out of it and gave like half the school radiation poisoning but that's not important.

Tim: I think we have different definitions of important-

Mia: No no it's fine now. Anyways I went into the time traveling clock and got to see the future and who the next Batman will be and how cool Gotham is in the future. It was fun. I would tell you more but spoilers!

Tim:

Tim: I don't know how to respond to any of that.

Mia: it was fun! We killed a vampire.

Tim: of course you did.

Tim drake should take Maps under his wing (ha) and they should so detective stuff together

(Please add to this)

[summerwriting]

banner belongs to @dollywons

Author's note: i am probably going to make a part two or turn this into a little series. Also head Canon readers colour is pastel blue. Also sorry about spelling mistakes if there is any, I'm dyslexic. i am also taking requests if you're interested check out arcane writing requests

A OLD FRIEND

You worked yourself through most of your nights, and they were normally quiet and consisted of the same repetitive activities. Serves a drunk dude kicks him out serves a drunk dude gets hit on kicks him out serves a another stupid fucking drunk dude and kicks him out again. Ok so Maybe they Weren't quiet, but it was a normal Night for you. What you were not expecting to happen on your Regular Saturday night shift was an old Friend that you thought was dead walking into the bar.

“I'll get a beer” is the first thing she said to you. She definitely Didn't recognise you. That's for sure  oh boy you were going to have fun that Night.

“Coming up, vi” you snickered, shaking your head.

“How do yo– oh haha very funny, don't you Dare say it's written on my face” Vi snapped at you.

“Well it is, but would you prefer me call you Violet, Violet” you say leaning on the Counter. There was a smirk on your face 

“Im sorry what who the fuck are you and why the fuck do you know my name and i mean my full name” she got Defensive real fast wich made you Laugh and roll your eyes.

“Mmmm you'll just have to figure it out won't you” you grabbed a glass “violet” you add her name at the end just to tort her. You filled the glass full of beer, all the while vi’s eyes Scanned over you Suspicion and cautiousness in her Gaze.   

“Ok thats not funny, who the fuck are you Bitch!!!” she snapped angrily her hands went down hard on the table her voice was loud and Obnoxious almost like Shame wasn't something she even had thought of. The people in the bar went quiet at the Sudden yell and their eyes went to her and well… you.

“You might want to be quieter, girly,”  you said, slipping her glass over to her with a smile on your lips. It didn't take long for everyone to go back to their original conversations.

“How do you know who i am?, talk” her voice came out threatening and her demeanour came off as Intimidating but not to you. 

“You'll just have to remember me. I can't be that forgettable can i?”you took a seat on your side of the counter resting your head in your hands your head tilted to the side.

“Just tell me who you are,” Vi demanded. Your Eyebrows furrowed in disappointment

“I'm Y/N, you seriously couldn't recognise me?” you asked.

“Oh god” vi’s eyes widened with sock and they seemed to Light up. She Launched forward, jumping over the Counter, wrapping her arms around you. You smiled and  wrapped your arms around Vi as well. “I can't believe this, i thought i'd never see you again” her hug was so warm and comforting and loving, it brought back old memories for you and her. you remembered the butterflies you would get when she would hug you like this or hold your hand or wrap her arm around your shoulder and when she would look at you with her big beautiful blue eyes the ones she was looking at you with right now.

“You thought that. i thought you were dead” you cupped her cheek. your eyes searching hers.

“I'm so sorry sweets i was- i was- well it's a long story” vi coked out. Her hands came up to grip both sides of your face. 

“Where have you been?”you asked, you needed to know you hadn't seen her in 7 years and she just showed up like the walking dead.

“I was arrested and shoved into stillwater for 7 years and then some enforcer got me out and i went looking for powder and well im sure you know about jinx and then well me and that enforcer kissed and then i stopped her from killing a kid and then she hit me and now i'm a drunk liveing in some shity apartment.” well that was a mouthful and a lot of information for you to take in. The two things that stuck was that she had been to prison and she's been in a Relationship with an enforcer which made it even worse, because yes you were a little jealous which was stuped. you Hadn't seen her in 7 fucking years, you Shouldn't feel that she was just some silly Little crush you had when you where little that was never Reciprocated.( Because you were like 11 and she was 15 but thats not the case now)

[eisforeidolon]

Hellers still going on about “Watching Over Me” being about Cass. Claiming Jensen confirmed it in a meet and greet. It’s funny they never have video proof beyond, “Misha said it”.

That's kind of what they do.

One of them comes up with a totally bonkers interpretation of something, completely makes some shit up they claim totally happened (trust me bro!), or Misha queerbaits them to keep the minion attention/money flowing. The rest of them, like the gullible and obsessed desperate conspiracy theorists they are, repeat it among themselves over and over and over as "proof" their ship(s) are totes real until the heat death of the universe. The part where it's batshit insane, has zero evidentiary backing, or even has been clearly refuted? Completely irrelevant!

Here, one of them came up with a totally bonkers interpretation of the song while desperately searching Radio Company's catalogue for secret hidden clues that Jensen was pining away, miserable that the SPN finale didn't end with D/C. Misha heard about it, and because he's a spineless backstabbing weasel with all the integrity of a disintegrating toupee, quote unquote joked about it being true. I can't remember if someone made up the M&G story of him confirming it wholesale or if it was a creative reinterpretation of someone else's M&G report, insisting Jensen confirmed it when the fan actually reported him saying something to the effect of not intending/wanting to say songs had specific meanings. Regardless, believing it's actually legit requires ignoring:

The part where it's pretty absurd to think Steve and Jensen are sitting around writing songs from Dean's PoV, and batshit insane to think Steve and Jensen would be sitting around writing songs about a fictional non-canon ship Jensen has made it clear multiple times he is baffled by the popularity of and sees as no part of Dean's story. Especially when Jensen has said the majority of the writing is actually Steve's. The part where Misha couldn't even fucking name what song it supposedly was that was totes for real about Dean and Cass. The part where there are specific reports that STEVE talked about that song in a Patreon livestream to say it was about having an angel watching over you that you don't want watching over you, not some schmoopy romance. The part where, once again, Jensen supposedly validates D/C all the time ... just so long as no one is recording him.

None of that matters, and if one of them mustered up the idiocy to ask Jensen onstage at the next convention if it was a D/C song and he literally just stared at them in angry bafflement and said, "No." before immediately moving on? They'd make up a million reasons he was lying, didn't understand his own song, or how "No." was aCtUaLLy super secret code for "OMG YES."

It's the same story with their meta ~*interpreting*~ a love story out of bad stereotypes and random minutiae. It's the same story with their constant tales of Jensen telling a fan in detail how he totes lurves D/C now in ops/autos - often at the same cons where he shoots it down onstage. It's the same story with their absurd claims Misha was a third lead and saved the show. It's the same story with all their myriad conspiracies about the finale regarding the network/secret footage/secret scripts/Jared/NDAs/etc. It's the same story with their insistence Jensen hates the aired finale and barn scene because he didn't like the initial pitch. And on and on and on and on...

Being a heller means actively rejecting living in a rational, fact-based reality in favor of steeping yourself in The Undeniable Truth of Detestiel until your brain boils away to nothing.