#I don't want to tag you if you don't want to be
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#some like it hot#meta <- a lot of people have been reblogging my additions with these tags and for anyone who sees this I'd like to politely ask you to stop.
The addition above is not meta, because this is not a fandom post. It's critical media analysis. And while it's not very in-depth, that is still what it is. It's based in more nuanced, better-researched academic media criticism and queer studies than the superficial summary it is, but nevertheless, it's critical analysis, not meta.
I fully support fandom, don't get me wrong! But it's also possible to appreciate a piece of media without participating in fandom. Meta is a fandom-based form of analysis, and fandom's basis is a shared love for a piece of media. Critical analysis can also be inspired by love or appreciation for something, but its purpose is to look at a piece of media from an impartial perspective.
Like I said, I fully support fandom. And I also get that this site is fandom central. But being on tumblr also makes me feel like fandom is sometimes an overwhelming and overbearing entity that pushes other forms of engaging with media to the sidelines to the point where they're starting to become overlooked or forgotten, especially as someone who works in media, studied media crit, and doesn't participate in fandom.
It's important to be able to observe and critique media impartially. Fandom is inevitably biased, and that's fine for fandom, that's what it's there for! But it's so so important to also be able to understand, analyze, and deconstruct a piece of media without that bias, in order to understand its message, the effectiveness of how that message is conveyed, and the tools used to construct it.
I know people often use tags to organize posts on their feed for easy reference, but I have to admit, every time I see in my notes that someone's tagged this post as "meta" I die a little inside. Fandom isn't the only way to look at media.
Some Like It Hot (1959) dir. Billy Wilder
#I don't maybe I'm also uncomfortable with this thing I see where fandom becomes an identity and I feel like the 'meta' tag is#assigning me an identity I don't have for myself?#and look I don't really hang out in any fandoms so I don't want to venture out of my lane or anything#but if fandom and fanfic have this close link then I cannot understand for the life of me why there isn't more critical analysis#if your goal is to write about your favorite piece of media wouldn't it be important to that process to be able to deconstruct it#and understand what makes it so compelling to you?#why is meta such a prevalent thing but analysis isn't?
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Arcane Characters Find Out You Haven't Had Your First Kiss Yet
Pairing: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn Kiramman, Maddie Nolen, Ekko, Vander, Silco, Sevika, Viktor, Jayce Talis, Mel Medarda x Fem!Reader
Tags: fluff, kissing, first kiss, flirting, banter, shyness, gentle kissing, musundertsnadings, age-gap, experiance gap
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters | Commissions
A/N: I have kissed people before and I know I wanna kiss all of them too. They deserve kisses, they need kisses.
"Ya've been starin' at me for an awful long time now. Not that I mind, your eyes are real pretty, sugar. But ya've got me all curious now." Jinx invaded your personal space like it was no big deal and leaned in so you had but inches between you.
You pressed your lips together and fidgeted in your seat. "You... I was wondering have you kissed anyone before?"
"Well here and there but not recently. I've got someone I really wanna kiss now." She pointed at you and tucked a hair behind your ear. "Wanna make out? I don't have any important things to do for a few hours?"
"Few hours? People make out for that long? Wait no, that's not what I want to do. I was curious cause I never kissed anyone and I was wondering if you... maybe wanted to kiss me?" With a slightly bashful tone you met her shiny purple eyes which only seemed to get brighter as she closed in.
"Do I wanna kiss ya? I wanted to since I saw ya! Been waitin' to get asked. Ya know, gentlewoman and all that shit." She wasn't one, not by a longshot but she also knew she could cross boundaries easily, this was one where she was more than willing to wait. "Pucker up quick!" You only had a second to react before harsh lips closed over yours, her thin but strong arms locking you in place on the chair. "Mwah!" Jinx cackled when she pulled back. "There. That's one thing to cross of your list. Can't wait for more." Winking she spun around in her chair and did a little happy dance.
Everyone knew Vi was a bold one, what she wanted she went for, often with little questions asked. She spent the whole date taking initiative, taking your hand, showing you the best places in Zaun, and a few at Piltover too, although she didn't know as many that were cooler than Zaun's. At the end of it she walked your home.
"I live in a safe neighborhood, Vi. There's no need for this." You argued as you fished for your keys to unlock the door. As you did you had full intention to invite her in.
"You never know when someone might try something. You're too cut to pass up on, sweet thing like you, bound to attract eyes. People might get ideas. Like this." Before you knew it, she pressed both hands against your hips and kissed your neck. You nearly dropped the keys when you felt the bolt of excitement run through your body. "See what I mean?"
Gulping you turned your head to hers. "Y-Yeah." She smirked and cupped your chin with the opposite hand, bringing you closer. "Vi, hold on." You turned your head back towards the door. "I never kissed anyone before." The whisper pierced through all the horny energy in Vi's body.
Her hands dropped from your hips. "Oh. Well now I feel like an ass. Since you let me walk you back and all, I thought... sorry I don't know what I thought. Do you want me to leave?" She waited for you to turn around and was surprised when you cupped her cheeks and leaned in. Her eyes widened for a moment before closing, right as your lips met in the middle. The grip on your hips returned, but it wasn't as strong as before. She wasn't the only one who could initiate.
You could look far and wide and you wouldn't find a bigger gentlewoman than Caitlyn. She asked if anything she did was wanted, if it was okay, if you liked it. Some of it came from her Academy days, some from her upbringing but she was never pushy with you.
It was actually you that noticed she was glancing at your lips a little too often while you were helping her sort out through the many documents she apparently had to bring home to work on. "Today was supposed to be our date, seems to me like you're dating your work as much as you're dating me." You teased and watched her huff.
"That is not true. You are infinitely more attractive, darling. I wouldn't kiss the papers but I would kiss you any day." Caitlyn flirted back and set the mentioned papers down. "In fact... I could use a little break from this. And you're right, tonight is our date night. So, tell me," Caitlyn walked up to your side of the desk and leaned on her hands, her face above yours, "would you do me the honor of kissing me?"
A heavy blush bloomed on your face as you felt caught in her crosshairs. When she got serious about something she saw it though until the end. That's how she was looking at you now. "I'd love to kiss you, Cait."
She chuckled at your breathless tone. "I'll go slow. It's your first kiss, right? I figured from the way you'd blush and turn your head when I'd lean in." Her gloved hands slid over your hands, giving them a comforting squeeze. "Close your eyes for me, darling." The moment you did you felt her lips against yours, perfectly falling into place.
"You're joking, aren't you? You haven't kissed anyone? No one? Not even a little?" She tried to hide her amused smile behind her hand but it was futile. You rolled your eyes at Maddie and then threw a pillow in at her head.
"First, how do you kiss someone a little? And second, you know I've barely dated before this. You're the first girl I'm kinda serious about. Thought that waiting to have my first kiss would be... you know romantic?" You shrugged and hugged the other pillow close to your chest. Maddie let out a loud 'awww' and hugged you tight, kissing your cheek.
She laughed when you tried to push her away for making fun of you.
"Now hold on. I think that is really sweet of you, love. Not many people out there have your romatic mind and I love that about you. Also, real sweet that you want to kiss me out of everyone." Her hands pressed upon your shoulders and her smiling face approached yours. "Do I get to do that now or...?"
You could see how eager she seemed now that she learned all this new information. "I mean... if you want." Your hug around the pillow tightened as you tried to will yourself to calm down. On the outside you were calmer, ever pushing back into the kiss, sighing contently against Maddie's lips, but on the inside, you were a damn mess of anxiety. "Shhh, it's just me, remember?" She cooed against your lips and waited for you to relax, massaging your shoulders before leaning in for a second, longer kiss.
This was more of a dare than you wanting to kiss anyone tonight. It wasn't your fault that all your friends knew about your big crush on Ekko and roped you into a game of darts that you lost and therefore had to walk over to him and kiss him. Your friends watched you fumble over to him, all giggling.
Ekko looked at you a little bewildered. "Look, don't ask, this was all their idea." You pointed behind yourself at your friends. "They dared me to kiss you so, if you wanna kiss me... you know, cool
"I've got nothing against kissing you, firefly, but I'm a little confused. Thought you didn't mess 'round with friends like that." Ekko did, you knew but you always thought that if you crossed that line with him there would be no bottling your feelings back up. And standing here in front of him, asking for a kiss, you knew that was true.
"I don't mess around with friends. But they won't leave me alone about not kissing anyone yet and you were the safest bet. Plus..." You moved from foot to foot, like that would shake off your nerves. "I like you, Ekko. As more than a friend. I have for a while."
All the chatter from around the two of you seemed to fall into a void. Ekko opened his mouth to say something but you kissed him before he could, too scared of a rejection and too high strung to think about the fact that you might never get this chance again. But to your surprise he kissed back, his full lips pressing hard against yours. "Thought you'd never come out and say it. Damn, been waiting to hear those words since forever." Ekko hushed against you before he dragged his lips from the corner of your mouth to your ear. "I like you too." He confessed with a whisper.
"Don't you let what those assholes said get to you, darlin', their mouth is bigger than their brain." Vander cleaned the dirty glasses behind the bar as you handed them to him one after another.
You grimaced, remembering all the teasing, quite rude teasing might you add, that you endured before Vander stepped in. "I could have kicked them out myself. Besides what do they care if I'm dating you? Not like you gave me the job because of it." They said a lot more than that but you didn't even want to go through all of it.
"Hey, you do great work here. The kids love you; I love you. All that talk about tradin' favors, bunch of bullshit, that's what it is. Besides, I know you've kept to yourself more than others around here. Got nothin' against that. If anything, makes me a bit nervous. I mean, you really want this old man to be your first at everything?" He scratched the back of your head as he remembered the night when you cuddled and you confessed, he would really be your first everything, not just your first relationship. Since then, he'd been a bit jumpier.
"Vander, you're a bit more than a decade older than me. We're both old. And when you get to my age and you haven't done anything, people talk. So, I can't really blame them for thinking what they do about me getting a job here. It's shitty yeah, but like you said, they're just assholes. I want you to be my first kiss, first everything." You confessed and suddenly you noticed Vander wasn't cleaning glasses anymore. He still had the glass and the rag in his hand but he wasn't moving at all.
You seem to have stunned him with your words. There was an old story you remember, about a kiss breaking a sleeping woman from her slumber. With a cheeky grin you pushed yourself up on the bar to get high enough to kiss him. Vander let out a sound of surprise but quickly melted into the kiss. The sound of the glass shattering also shattered the quiet moment you shared and you parted, laughing. "Well, I'll be damned. Seems like there are still things that surprise me."
Silco didn't hear anything from you about the status of you kissing or not kissing anyone. He heard it from Jinx, who heard it from Sevika. And to think one of your best friends would rat you out to her boss' daughter like that. "I'll kill that mouthy bi-" Your threat stopped on your lips, silenced by thin lips. "Silco... what the fuck?"
"What? From how I heard it, you really wanted to kiss me, but were to scared of looking desperate. Best to get things like this over with fast, otherwise they clog up your brain with unnecessary worries." He spoke like a true businessman. And at his core he was one, a corrupted one, and really good at his job.
Still, you looked at him, blinking slowly, still feeling his lips against yours. Your fingertips touched the tingly flesh.
"Silco... that was my first kiss! You asshole!" You pushed him and he did take a few steps backwards. "This is why you can never tell anything to anyone around here!"
Like it was messy he fixed his tie and vest, tugging until they were to his standard again. Then he walked up to you again, his orange eye trained on you like a cat's eye on a little mouse. "Did you hate that I did it? I was never good at asking for permission when I wanted something, or forgiveness. However, if you need an apology from me, I might consider it."
Despite the imposing presence you weren't scared of him at all. "For god’s sake, Silco, I didn't hate it. You could have put more effort in it though. You know, make it more romantic for a lady, sweep her off her feet and take her out to dinner." It was like this man did every romantic thing backwards. He slept with you before he asked you out, he never even asked you out officially, just told you he liked spending time with you, and now this. "You're hopeless sometimes."
When she heard what you said she couldn't help but let out a full belly laugh at it. "Jerk! I'm being serious!" You smacked your fists against her shoulder, which only made the big brawler of a woman laugh more. Sevika never had the most tact or subtlety, or was the best at keeping her emotions in.
"I know you are! Which is why it's so damn funny. I mean shit, sweetheart, haven't kissed anyone? I see you tearing up that dance floor every night with me. You're telling me no one ever got lucky enough to kiss you on the lips? On the other lips maybe?" She wiggled her eyebrows at you.
"You're gross sometimes, you know that." You smacked her on the bicep again, and at the next attempt she grabbed your wrist and pulled you into her lap. Your whole body went hot when her thigh flexed between your legs. "Sevika, what are you up to?"
Sevika grinned wolfishly as her hand grabbed your ass. "I'm about to kiss you. Tell me if you want me to stop." She wasn't exactly asking but she also didn't want to force this on you. When you didn't put up and resistance and tugged her a bit closer by her shirt, she leaned in to capture your lips. Like with everything else she couldn't be gentle, she didn't do gentle. The kiss was rough, passionate, with too much tongue for you who never kissed anyone before. "I'm gonna teach you how to do that better."
"Will you?" You asked all breathless and with wide pupils. One simple kiss made your whole body feel like fireworks were going off. "Better make up for you making fun of me."
Viktor was very perceptive of things that interested him. You were one of those things, even before you became his girlfriend he always listened when you talked about anything. It was his first clue that he liked was in love with you.
He noticed you always seemed to be looking down at his lips more than the things he was writing whenever he was explaining something. "You know, if you want to kiss me, it's as simple as asking." He teased as his fingers traced the pages; he was reading out to you.
"O-Oh. You noticed that did you?" You looked away at the big wall of notes behind him then back at his smiling, knowing face. "Who am I kidding, of course you did. Don't get me wrong, I want to kiss you, Viktor. But I'm also nervous because it'll be my first kiss." He closed the book, with a bit more of a thumping sound than it was warranted. As quickly as he could he crossed the distance between the two of you. His hand lifted yours to his lips.
As shy as he could be with his touches, sparing even, reserved, he found it very easy to touch you and it made your heart skip a few beats every time. Viktor was comfortable with you; he teased you like it was no big deal and would hold your hand when walking through the halls.
"I must confess, darling, I don't have much experience with kissing, or anything of a romantic or intimate nature. I've only been in a few precious relationships before. However, if you allow me, I would love to be your first kiss, today." He emetized the time with a kiss on your fingers, then your knuckles, then across your arm, your jaw. And finally... your lips.
"Do you want to be my first-" You couldn't ask anything more because you heard and saw Jayce drop the hammer he was holding on his foot and was now leaning against his desk, cursing under his breath. "Kiss. My first kiss, Jayce. Get your brilliant mind out of the gutter."
His cheeks got hot when your eyes met across the room. "Your first kiss. Uh... you never kissed anyone before now, babe? Sorry if it sounds like a dumb question but... how? I mean you're the most beautiful, amazing woman I know!"
When he finally put his foot down, confidant that it was okay to do so, he scratched the back of his neck, further adding to his confused look. You sighed. "Thank you for saying all of that. I suppose I wanted it to be special. You told me you've managed to find a breakthrough in your research, so I wanted to reward you, and myself." As you approached him, he got a big, dumb grin that stretched all over his face.
"I see. A reward. If I knew I'd be getting one I'd spend more sleepless nights here." He wrapped his arms around your body when you stepped close and pressed your bodies close.
"No, you wouldn't. I would drag you back to your bed if that's what I had to do to make you sleep properly." And you really would have done that. For right now though Jayce did a good job, and giving him your first kiss was a reward. Jayce approached you slowly, taking great care to be gentle when kissing you, to not get too carried away. He didn't, he kept it to a gentle, long kiss, but quickly got in a few more when you tried to pull away. "You giant dork."
Mel gave you a goodnight kiss but as soon as she felt you stiffen, she pulled back. She frowned when she noticed how nervous you looked. "What's the matter? Darling, are you cold? Your hands are shaking?" She ran her thumbs over the back of your hands.
"Nervous is more like it. That was my first kiss." You said with a shy smile and tried to go in for a second one. But this time Mel stopped you, her hand acting as a barrier between you two. "Hm? What?"
"Your first kiss. And you only tell me that after I've kissed you. Have I known I wouldn't have rushed into it." She sighed heavily and looked almost guilty. She kept replaying her interactions with you in her mind, you were very confident on your date, you flirted with her quite boldly too. And when you kissed her hand, she thought you wanted more.
"What? No, Mel, I'm happy my first kiss was with you! It was perfect!" You quickly spoke up to assure her. "If I didn't want it, I would have stopped you before. But holy crap, do you have any idea how much I wanted to kiss you?! I mean honestly, do you! I hardly worked up the nerve to ask you out tonight." You scratched your cheek nervously and avoided her eyes. This felt a little embarrassing to admit when you worked so hard to remain calm and project and air of confidence with her.
Chucking into her hand, Mel cupped your cheek with the other. "Is that so? If that's all then I'm glad. You don't have to pretend with me. I can assure you too, if I didn't like you, I wouldn't have said yes to our date. Much less kissed you. However, if you would allow it, I would like to re-do that kiss." Mel took your chin between her fingers and brushed her thumb against your lower lip, parting your lips just a bit before kissing you again.
#arcane x reader#jinx x reader#vi x reader#caitlyn kiramman x reader#maddie nolen x reader#ekko x reader#vander x reader#silco x reader#sevika x reader#viktor x reader#jayce talis x reader#mel medarda x reader#arcane imagine#arcane headcanon#arcane fluff#arcane x you#arcane x female reader#league of legends x reader#league of legends imagine#league of legends headcanons#league of legends fluff#league of legends x you#league of legends x female reader
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bleeding blue | apocalypse au
part thirty-two —other parts
pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader words: 5.1k tags: death. blood and gore. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. enemies to lovers. SA and implication of child SA (very subtle). summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: clearly I am bad at estimating how long this story will take lol
The tray of food crashes to the floor at her feet. Salome gasps. Her hand shoots back, fumbling for the doorknob, and her lips part, ready to call the guard you know is just outside.
"If you call for the guard," you stop her, "I’ll cut deeper."
She clamps a hand over her mouth. "Please—stop! Hurting yourselves is a sin, a great dishonor to the body God gave you—"
“It is,” you agree calmly. You press the shard deeper into the cephalic vein, ignoring the bite of pain. Blood spills in a fresh, startling curtain down your arm, the wound mimicking the severity of an arterial cut. “And she’ll blame you for it. You’re the one she entrusted to watch over us, and you didn't notice we broke one of the mugs."
"I did not think you would—"
"What happens to you,” you cut her off, pointing the bloody shard at her stomach, “—and your baby when the two new child-bearers die because of your failure? Because I will die, if I cut any deeper. This artery,” you lie, tapping the wound for emphasis, “is important. If I finish slicing through it, I’ll bleed out in less than a minute. Not enough time for you to get help. Not even enough to try saving me yourself.”
Her lashes flutter rapidly through a swell of tears. "You could have a good life here—"
"Answer me. What happens to you if I die?"
She swallows hard. "She’ll punish me," she whispers frightfully. "I have seen what happens to those who fail her. She might take my child and I will... never see them. Please, don’t do this—”
"Why should we care about you and your child when you are okay with them killing an eleven-year-old girl tomorrow?"
A flash of shame crosses her face. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't know Maman would want the girl. The offering has never been so young before. But it is God's will, there is nothing I can do to—"
"What you can do is open the cell. Open it and we will kill Maman, then you won't have to worry about anyone taking your baby. But if you don't open it, then we die in here and you will face her punishment."
Her lips part, but nothing comes out. She looks between you and Nereida, eyes darting wildly, fingers twitching against her stomach.
"Decide before I bleed out!"
"I... I can't," she says pitifully.
With a glance at Nereida, she takes her cue, digging into her vein.
"Open the cell," Nereida urges far more soothingly than you can, blood dripping to her elbow. "We won't hurt you. We want Maman gone, not you."
Salome whimpers under her breath, but her fingers move before her mind catches up, reaching inside her robe to retrieve the key, gripping it like it might burn her. She shuffles closer but pauses, inhaling deeply before finally reaching the door. Her hands shake so violently that the key rattles against the lock. It slips against the metal, failing to match the hole, and your finger twitches when she nearly drops it.
"Mais si elles ne parviennent pas à la tuer..." The whisper leaves quietly, lost beneath the veil. "Sa punition pour moi sera pire."
Then, her hand curls back around the key.
She swallows hard—and steps back.
No.
You see red.
A growl curls at your mouth and you snap forward, grabbing onto her dress through the bars before she can retreat too far, and pulling her flush against them, her forehead banging into the metal. Before she can scream, you clamp a bloody hand over her mouth and then press the piece of broken mug to her neck with just enough pressure to make her panic. She gasps into your palm, struggling. You dig it harder, forcing her body to turn still and rigid.
"Twix—"
"I tried doing things the nicer way," you speak in a low snarl, veering off the script you and Nereida conjured. Round, glossy eyes stare into yours. "You should have made up your mind before getting within my reach. Now give her the key. I’d hate for my hand to slip."
Another sharp press into her skin wrings a squeak from her, her breath coming out jagged and uneven against your palm. Trembling, she extends an arm through the bars, offering the key to Nereida.
The moment Nereida takes it, she fumbles to find the lock from the outside, her fingers searching blindly. The key scrapes against the metal—once, twice—before a soft click finally reaches your ears.
The door swings open.
You don’t hesitate. Keeping your grip firm over Salome’s mouth, you shove through the opening and swing around to the other side. Before she can react, you force her back into the cell, driving her onto the bed. The veil tears free from her head as you pin her down, your weight pressing her into the mattress, the sharp fragment still poised at her throat. When her legs begin to flail helplessly, you order Nereida to grab them. She clasps Salome's ankles to keep her from bucking you off.
"You were afraid of the wrong person," you hiss, your nose nearly brushing hers. "Maman may have spared your life because she values her baby makers—but I don’t. Answer everything I ask, or I’ll show you just how merciless I can be."
The dishonest threat rolls off your tongue with enough force to make her nod frantically, fear widening her eyes. But what she doesn’t need to know—what you won’t let her see—is the part of you still holding back. Because even now, even as you pin her down and press the shard to a vital piece of her throat, you’re careful. You don’t dig hard enough to damage. You don’t let your weight bear down on the swell of her stomach.
"I'm glad we understand each other. I am going to lift my hand, and you're not going to scream. You're going to tell me everything we need to know about the guards out there."
Her lips are puffy and raw when you set them free.
"There is only one outside the d-door," she sputters in a whisper. "B-but there are more... more by the... h-homes and the keep."
"The keep?"
"Where they keep the new m-males," she chokes out, snot dripping from her nose.
"That's in the old slaughterhouse, right?"
She nods.
"How many guards are over there exactly?"
"I do not know." At your glare, she rushes out, "B-but there are less after d-dinner ends. Many go to sleep, and switch shifts at sunrise."
You mull over the information, eyes darting across her face. “And the child—the offering? Where is Maman keeping her?”
A terrible look of fear ripples through her eyes. "Only few are allowed near the offering b-before her ascension.
"So you're telling me you don't know?" you seethe in her face.
She sobs. "I know they... they will offer her to the démons right before the sun rises. The night is when God’s wrath is strongest, but it’s in the morning—when hope ascends—that we seek atonement."
Despite further pressing, that seems to be the extent of what she knows—or she's still withholding. Either way, you're satisfied enough. You rip strips of the sheet, using one to gag her and two more to bind her wrists and ankles. You and Nereida wrap your wounded wrists tightly to stop the flow. Then, you remove her white gown. You’ll need something to wear that doesn't easily mark you as an escapee, but there’s only the one white dress and veil. You hurriedly slip into them, making sure all of your hair and face is hidden, leaving Nereida still in the thin slip. The shoes Salome wears are thin and made of unsupported leather, but they are all you have to tuck your bare feet into.
Salome said there will be fewer guards after dinner. You and Nereida listen carefully to every sound that bleeds through the window. When you hear a few exchanges of bonne nuit, you figure people are starting to retire for the night. You take this as your cue to grip your makeshift weapon. The guard outside the door is expecting Salome to leave at some point, giving you the perfect opportunity to catch him off-guard while dressed as her.
You quietly open the door to the warm summer night, the long gown ghosting around your ankles. As expected, a well-built man leans against the side of the building, arms crossed languidly. No one else is in sight, which brings you some relief. When his gaze shifts to you, he raises a brow.
"Tout va bien, mademoiselle? Vous êtes restée là-dedans un moment."
The last word barely makes it out of his mouth. Within a heartbeat, you spring at him like the head of a snake, one hand over his mouth and the other stabbing his neck with the shard, then sweeping it through the thick of his trachea. A gush of blood oozes out in one thick stream, before he gargles out a strangled choke and turns to dead weight against the wall.
With Nereida's help, you quickly push his body inside the building to keep anyone from spotting it.
"Wear this," you usher, already starting to undress him. Like the man who visited you, he's wearing a grey cloak. Though it's too big for her, and bloodied, it will be enough to keep her discreet in the dark, her long hair safely tucked beneath the hood.
Two things race through your mind: the ticking time toward sunrise and the fact that you still don’t know how many more men you’ll have to take out to reach Ghost, Price, and Kyle. The knife you find on the guard adds a small weapon to your shitty arsenal. You have no idea where they could’ve stored the guns and ammo they took from you, or your bow. How you'll manage to fight through a community of cultists without those is a worry you can’t afford to dwell on right now—one step at a time.
After a few minutes of collecting yourselves, urgency pulls the two of you outside, free from the barred enclosure for the first time in almost four days. In the blanket of night, you quickly scan the area, taking in what you’re up against. The community appears fairly spread out, with only six small farmhouses like the one you just escaped from, along with a few larger structures in the near distance—likely where they house the men. You catch a glimpse of a fenced pasture’s perimeter and the unmistakable stench of cattle fills the air. Despite the faint shuffle of hooves and grey plumes of smoke from a few of the chimneys, everything is eerily still, leaving an unnerving amount of quiet for your heart to shatter through.
From what you can see, there aren’t many places to hide Blue, but there could be more to this place beyond what’s visible, especially since the chapel you first saw is nowhere in sight. But none of that matters right now; you need to find the others first if you’re going to have any real chance of saving her and getting out of here.
The next male you encounter spots you first as you make your way up the gravel road towards the barn, the sound of his boots making your hand tighten on the knife's handle. He greets you unassumingly in French, causing Nereida to startle beside you as his shadow approaches. Then he stops in front of her, his shoulders tensing and his hand hovering near a knife at his waist.
"Que fais-tu avec la femelle? C’est interdit!"
Again, you go for the throat, desperate to silence any screams that could cause alarm. You get a good swipe at the base of it, but he is at least a head taller than you, making it difficult to stab fully. He grabs you by the waist, clearly in shock that a veiled female just sprung on him with a knife, but swipes a fist at your face nonetheless. The force spreads through your temple, thrusting your head to the side.
"Take the knife from him," you hiss at Nereida through the pain, who until now was effectively frozen. She finally moves, using the distraction you've caused as he clutches his bleeding neck, and snatches the knife still hanging at his waist. Once she has it, you leap at the disarmed man again, this time stabbing his liver. With a muffled grown, he face-plants into the gravel, quickly soaking it with blood.
"The body," she stutters worriedly. "We need to hide it."
You look around, spotting stacks of chopped wood.
"Over there. Help me drag him."
Once the body is heaved behind the logs, you pat him down in search for anything else, but there's nothing.
"Keep that on you," you tell her, and she gives a quick nod, hiding the knife under her sleeve.
You keep following the road up to the fence, your white dress splattered with crimson, resembling the dotted stars overhead. The 'keep' is somewhere by the barn that man said, but you notice smaller buildings to the right and to the left of it. Which one looks like an old slaughterhouse? It's too difficult to tell even when you squint, so you grab Nereida's arm and quickly lower by a bush.
"Watch that one, and I'll keep an eye on this one. Whichever building has more guards patrolling is probably where they're holding them."
"Okay," she whispers, peering around the bush.
Minutes pass. The building on the right has more shadows skirting around it—three guards total. You take a moment to study their movements. One is stationed near the back, the other two at the front.
"I want you to take the one at the back and wait for me. I'll handle the other two."
"How do I take him?" she whispers uncertainly. "He’ll see me coming."
"You’ll come at it from an angle." You point toward a stack of hay. "Sneak over there, quietly. Once you're behind it, circle around and approach where he can't see."
She hesitates, rubbing the back of her hand across her forehead. "I’ve never—"
"Never killed anyone?"
The way she grips the knife, her fingers white on the handle, confirms it.
"These people deserve it, Nereida," you say, forcing her to meet your gaze. "John is in there."
She closes her eyes, and for a moment, the weight of it all presses down on her. When she opens them again, her jaw is set, and her grip on the knife tightens.
After reminding her where to strike, you pause for a moment, watching as she sneaks over to the hay. Then, you move toward the other two, slipping behind a tree for cover, but your foot catches on something and you almost trip, catching yourself against the bark. Your breath hitches and you steal a peek at them to make sure they didn't hear you. No—they are too busy murmuring to each other, laughing in a low exchange.
When you glance down, you spot a shovel half-buried into the ground, its handle sticking out. Carefully, you wriggle it free, having to grit your teeth to fully remove it. This will let you stun one while you deal with the other. Inhaling deeply to center yourself, palm tight over the splintered wood handle, you close in on the two guards.
The shorter one with curly hair spots you just before you take a swing, his eyes widening. The shovel slams into his skull, effectively making him stumble to the ground, but slips from your grip from the force. The other guard whirls around, hand slapping for the pistol at his belt. You deliver three consecutive stabs to his stomach, heart, and cheek. The gun never leaves his waist before he falls dead.
You suck in a gulp of air just as the curly-haired one regains his footing. His head is still heavy from the blow, and before he can draw his knife, you shove him in the chest, sending him crashing to the ground. You pin him easily beneath you, his movements sluggish and weak. The two of you wrestle in the grass, jagged breaths mixing with frantic, scraping nails, until, with a snarl, your knife finds purchase in his neck, stealing the life from his eyes in an instant. You stab him again and again, shaking, until the ticking urgency pulls you back into control. With a deep breath, you steady yourself and wiggle the knife lodged in his trachea, your hands slippery with blood.
"You got death," you spit in a whisper, thumbing his lids shut.
You lift up.
Now you have a single gun.
It is an old thing. Outdated and far from the military-grade weapons Ghost has. It takes a moment to figure out the parts—your fingers fumble for the small magazine, which is stocked with three bullets. You pull the slide to chamber a round with a click and keep it ready in your hand as you circle the building toward the back, praying that Nereida managed. When you find her, she is stood over the man's body, a deep cut oozing on her cheek.
"He saw me," she says, swallowing. "But I did it."
You nod. "We need to hide them before we go in."
All three bodies are hidden behind the hay stacks. You cover them with manure to mask the smell, not wanting a horde of Greys to materialize. You'd spotted a door at the back and hope it may be more discreet then blazing in through the front, given that you don't know who all is in there. Finger ready on the trigger, you hold your breath as you lead Nereida into the old building, instantly met with the rich smell of pennies. The space quickly unfolds into an old butcher house, rusted hooks hanging from the stone ceiling, the air cramped and cold.
"Une femme? Maman ne voudrait pas de toi—"
The voice echoes in your ear as you round the corner, and then a fiery bullet rips into the owner's chest. Nereida flinches. Another guard comes barreling over, shouting, but you slide the chamber and shoot him in the head.
You don't linger by the bodies, itching to check the first steel door you see. You lower the gun only to pull at the handle, but it won't budge.
"Check him for keys," you motion to the dead guard.
Nereida crouches, hands rifling through his pockets until she yanks free a ring of keys. Her fingers shake as she tries them one by one, the lock stubborn—until, at last, it gives. With a sharp tug, the door groans open, revealing a windowless chamber. In the center, a lone captive hangs from chains.
It’s Price. Shackles bite into his wrists, his bare chest mapped with deep bruises against pale skin. Beaten, but unbroken—his gaze sharp as it lifts to meet yours. Nereida chokes on a sob, ripping the hood off her head and sinking to her knees before him, cupping his jaw.
A weighted baritone manages: "Duchess."
"There is nowhere I will not find you," she croaks. Teary kisses find the corner of his mouth. "I'm here, I'm here."
"How did you—"
"We got out. Where are the others?" you ask.
His jaw grits. "I haven't seen them since they knocked us out."
"They must be here somewhere. We need to move quick before someone notices the bodies."
After finding the small key to undo the manacles, you leave them to each other for the moment, continuing down the hall until the next door. An undeniable pull rises in your chest, something that has nothing to do with the adrenaline rushing through you—something you can’t quite name. But when you open the door, your heart falters with unwelcome disappointment at the sight of Kyle. He looks equally battered, but still aware enough to lift his head as you step in.
"Who are you?"
You lift the veil.
"It's me," you answer, the words almost lost in the rush of emotions. Only when you fully take in the room do you notice Ari, curled in the corner. They’ve put them in here together. While there are no obvious injuries on the boy, the sight of the open Bible on his lap, and the empty dinner plate beside him, sends a cold shiver down your spine. You touch his cheek, feeling warmth, and reassure him he’s safe.
You release both of them. "Price and Nereida are through the door down the left. I need to find Ghost. I’ll be back."
Kyle rubs his wrists and manages to stand despite his black eye and shaky legs. "I’ll come with you."
"No. I’ll get him." The words come out sharper than you mean to, but you turn away before he can question them.
You are pulled further through the tight, cold hallway, movements turning more hurried as you look around. There are a few more half-opened doors, but they only lead to supply closets filled with whips and metal batons and empty chambers where old blood stains the floors. Something sharp tugs at your heart, and for the first time since initiating your escape, your fingertips succumb to a tremor of fear.
Where is he?
The hall spits out into a room where dried animal carcasses hang from the walls.
One final door sits on the far end.
The rusted lock resists, swears hissing from your lips—until a sharp kick forces it open.
The smell thickens with fresh blood, and a cold pit sinks into your stomach at the sight of him—bound in chains, his body slumped haphazardly. Unlike the others, he doesn’t lift his head. You rush forward, a shaky breath catching in your throat as you take in the blood caked on his shoulder blades, deep welts splitting through the inked skin. His back, too, is covered in wounds. He looks worse—so much worse—that a bite of anger swells moisture in your eyes.
"Simon, you idiot. What did you do?" The words slip out on a sharp inhale as you lower yourself in front of him. "Simon," you whisper again, silent tears hot against your lips. You thread a hand through his hair, tilting his jaw up with careful fingers. His eyes are heavy, but relief finds you when they flutter open. He’s alive. The reddened whites flicker over your face, unfocused—until something strange sharpens the haze. A flicker of fear.
"It's me, Simon. We're getting out of here."
The brief fear shifts into shock when he recognizes your face, and only after you fumble with the key ring does understanding click into place, causing his jaw to flex. "Where... where is she?"
"I don't know, but we need to hurry. They have her." You undo the manacles, and his body rolls heavily into you, face falling onto your collarbone. You struggle to hold him up, gripping his shoulders without touching the wounds. A low groan bleeds through his teeth, and his eyes flutter shut again. No, no, no. "Please, you have to... you have to get up, Simon. I can't—she's going to fucking die!"
His upper chest rapidly expands with a breath, and he musters the strength to lift his weight off you and slap a hand against the wall. As he leverages his weight up, you help by grabbing beneath his other arm, until a final rush of adrenaline gets him on his feet. Urgency snaps tension into his limp shoulders, and he growls out another, more steady, breath.
"Price," he says.
"He's alive. Come on."
It takes some effort to help him walk at first, but eventually, he manages on his own. You guide him to the first room, where the others are pacing, murmuring in low voices.
"Simon, Jesus," Price mutters when he sees him.
Ghost brushes it off, his eyes narrowing. "They're going to kill her."
"At sunrise," you add, your voice tight. You pull out the pistol and show it to them. "I have one bullet left. I don't know how many more men are in this cult, but we've killed six so far."
"We have one shitty old gun." Kyle growls in frustration. "They took all our shit. How are we going to—"
"We find the weapons. They must have stored them somewhere," Price says.
"We can't just go searching through every building here. We don't have the time," you press. "And how are we supposed to get it back without everyone noticing we're gone?"
"I don't give a fuck about the guns. We find her first," Ghost grits, nostrils flaring.
"We can't help her if we don't think things through. We can't just start a war with these people empty-handed, Simon," Price says.
"We find her first!"
"Simon," you say, reaching for his arm, but he pulls it away, clenching his bloody fist. The energy radiating from him would scare you if you didn't feel the same way.
Just then, there is the faint sound of a door opening and footsteps clanging through the hall. You tense up, two male voices shouting in echoes, one of them vaguely familiar.
"Quelqu'un les a tués ! On doit régler cette merde avant que Maman découvre quoi que ce soit."
"Les putains de prisonniers!"
Before you can react, Ghost snatches the pistol from your grip. The second they rush toward the open door, he launches at them—an elbow to one’s face, the butt of the gun breaking the nose of the other. Price uses Nereida's knife to stab the fallen guard, while Kyle helps Ghost subdue the second one. You only recognize him as the man who made you strip when they forcibly drag him toward the manacles, the sight of his blonde hair making your nails curl into your palms.
"You stupid fucking Brits!"
Ghost strikes the gun into his left eye, making him jerk within the constraints, howling as the socket turns into bloody pulp.
Kyle grips the man's scalp from behind to hold his head up, while Ghost presses the gun into his cheek, where you notice a wound shaped like a bite mark.
"Tell us where she is," he roars. "Or I'll take the other eye."
Nereida cowers into the corner, holding onto Ari's arm.
"I don't know!" the man spits blood, and Ghost digs the gun into his cheek, ripping it open further until the bitten flesh hangs as a torn flap, exposed all the way to his eye. The scream that follows feels inhuman. "I swear, I don't—I don't fucking know!"
Fresh blood drips to the floor. Price, much more calm, lowers at the man's side. "How many people live here?"
The man grits his teeth, struggling to answer, "T-thirty males, and six females. Plus the infants."
Twenty-two now, you count in your head.
"And the weapons we had. What about those?" Price questions further.
When only staggered, pained breaths fills the room, Ghost tosses the bloody gun and grabs the knife from Price, stabbing the man's kneecap without hesitation. Another scream ensues, and there is the small itch to cover your ears, but you steel yourself against the wall to keep watching.
"Answer the fucking question." Ghost twists the knife in his knee.
He cries out, more bloody spittle flying from his mouth. "All of the ammo is hidden. Only A-Alexandre knows!"
"Who is Alexandre?"
“Maman's son, he enforces her commands and oversees the males.”
"Where is he?" Price asks, voice hard.
“He… he resides in the work shed, while the rest of us sleep in the quarters within the barn.”
You step forward. "We saw another building outside with just one guard, that must be it."
There is a beat of silence as Price processes the information, giving Ghost a satisfied nod. With pain still contorting his face, the man's eye drifts past Ghost's shoulder toward you. His lips twitch into a faint, bloody smirk that makes your skin crawl. Ghost follows his gaze, snarls, and abruptly slashes the man's throat from ear to ear.
B
It is still dark when Eloise comes to awaken her, though Blue's eyes never once fell shut with sleep. She spent the short-lived night alternating between staring at the crescent moon outside the window, and fiddling with the knitting needles left on the table. There is a new dress in the woman's clutch, beautiful white fabric embroidered with flowers, and a pair of beautiful leather shoes in the other hand.
"See? I told you the dress would be nicer." She smiles and hands it over, as if to offer something to be thrilled for. "You must change quickly. There is a lovely breakfast of framboises and milk waiting for you. Put these on as well." She sets the shoes on the floor.
Blue thinks it strange, to bother feeding her just before her death. Blankly, she asks, "How many people will be there? To watch me die."
Eloise's smile quivers slightly, a slight crack in her composure. "Not too many, I assure you. Only a few of us women, and one or two worthy men. Most are still sleeping." After a pause, she adds even quieter, almost ashamed, "Be thankful you don’t suffer through childbirth instead. It is... a painful thing. Long, too. At least this pain will be honorable and swift."
Blue's fingers tighten around the dress. "Okay. Do you mind if I change alone, please?"
Eloise bows her head. "Of course."
She casts one last gentle glance her way before shuffling out of the room, locking the door behind her and leaving Blue with only the dress and shoes. Once the door is closed, Blue quickly slips the dress on, shuddering as the cold fabric caresses her limbs. It’s more beautiful than anything she can remember ever wearing, and that disgusts her. Swallowing the churn in her stomach, she grabs the needles and sits back on the bed.
The wounds on her feet are shallow, her fingernails only able to pierce the thick skin slightly. Using the needles, she digs into them deeper, trembling from the pain that throbs as fresh blood begins to seep from the soles. She cuts and cuts furiously, teeth gritted, praying it’s enough to soak into the shoes she slips on over the new wounds. She covers the blood stains on the sheet with the blanket, then stands, almost crying out from the agony of walking on her torn feet.
"Please dad," she whispers, closing her eyes briefly, before calling to Eloise that she is ready.
"But if they don't manage to kill her... her punishment for me will be worse." "Is everything alright, miss? You've been in there for a while." "What are you doing with the female? It’s forbidden!" "A woman? Maman wouldn’t want you—" "Someone killed them! We need to fix this shit before Maman finds out anything." "The fucking prisoners!"
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entomologist here, confirming all of this! one really excellent trick I've found is to get a lint roller and roll it across your clothing periodically while you're outside. this is ideal for the extremely small ones that you may not see or be able to grab with your fingers! try to pull the cloth tight before rolling over it so they can't hide in the creases. BUT! don't go out alone expecting to just use a lint roller; it's super likely to miss some, and having another human check you periodically is genuinely crucial (I say this from experience!!!)
also, ticks will often just hang out on your skin or in your hair (especially if it's thick) for hours before they actually bite. that's why it's important to thoroughly check your whole body as soon as you get home — you may find one just crawling around, and removing them before they're embedded is always best! be especially vigilant around the head, armpits, and groin as said above, but don't ignore the rest of you either; I've found them embedded on my calf, ear, and chest too
I'm trying to write a post about tick safety and avoiding tick bites, but a lot of the info on websites is like "Avoid going in the woods, in plants, and where there are wild animals" and "Activities like hiking and gardening can put you at risk" and I'm like thanks! This is worthless!
As ticks and tick borne illnesses are expanding their range, I think it's important for people to be educated about these things, and I think it's especially important to give people actual advice on how to protect themselves instead of telling them to just...avoid the natural world
Rough draft version of Tick Advice:
Ticks don't jump down on you from trees, they get on you when you brush against grass, brush, bushes etc.
Ticks get brought to an area when they get done feeding from an animal and fall off them. In the USA, the main tick-bringing animal is deer, but I've seen plenty ticks on feral cats and songbirds.
Ticks get killed when they dry out so drier areas with more sunlight are less favorable to ticks.
The above is useful for figuring out whether an area is likely to have lots of ticks, and how vigilant you have to be in that area.
Wear light-colored, long pants outside. Tuck your pants into your socks, and tuck your shirt into the waist of your pants. Invest in light, breathable fabrics idc
IMMEDIATELY change out of your outside clothes when you come back from a tick-prone area, wash them, and dry them on high heat to kill any ticks that might be stuck on.
Shower and check yourself for ticks after coming inside. Hair, armpits, and nether regions in particular. You can use a handheld mirror or rely on touch; an attached tick will feel like a bump kinda like a scab
While you're outside, you can just periodically check for ticks by running your hands down your legs and checking visually to see if anything is crawling on your clothes. Light colors make them easy to spot, and they don't move fast.
Combing through each others' hair to check for creepy crawly critters is a time-honored primate ritual and is not weird. When hiking, bring a friend who will have your back when you feel something on your neck and need to know if it's sweat or a tick
If you're careful, you can usually catch ticks before they bite you, but if one does bite you, it's not the end of the world. Since tickborne diseases are different regionally i suspect this advice will differ based on where you are, but the important thing is remove the tick with tweezers (DON'T use butter, a lit match, or anything that kills the tick while it's still attached, please) and contact a doctor to see what to watch for. Most illnesses you can catch from ticks are easily treatable if you recognize them when symptoms first appear
#putting this in the tags bc I don't want to derail from tick safety#but hey#if you do find a tick.... don't be cruel#parasites have just as much right to humane treatment as all other animals#it is not their fault they are hungry#and they are extremely important to the ecosystem as food sources and animal population control#I certainly don't like them at all but I respect them nonetheless#arthropod#tick#long post#physical health#posts that make nrm students froth at the mouth#(no longer an nrm student but ah well. I'll keep the tag)
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thinking about izuku missing you on a long mission - mdni
your phone rings as you’re curling your body into bed, izuku’s familiar face lighting up your screen.
“hi sweetheart,” he says the moment you pick up. no matter how long you’ve been with izuku, the fact that years of pro hero work have scraped at his vocal cords always makes your stomach drop. the slight rasp makes his soft voice sound dangerous. "how’s my girl?"
you squish your face into the pillow, cradling the phone close. "okay. be better with you here."
"missing me, baby?" you hear rustling on his end, followed by a low grunt. "as much as I’m missing you?"
arousal hits you like a truck.
an image fills your head of izuku with his pants shucked down to his ankles, shirt between his teeth and hips desperately lifting off the bed. you roll onto your back, snaking a hand down into your pajama shorts. izuku’s unabashed desire for you never fails to make you wet, and sure enough, your fingers slide through your folds easily.
“wanna see, izu?”
he exhales sharply. “fuck. yeah, i’m gonna need to see you, baby. already soaking wet for me?”
you might hate to be apart from izuku for a mission, but you love what it does to his mouth. he hisses through his teeth when the picture you send goes through.
"love how wide you’re spreading those pretty legs, sweetheart." izuku’s voice is gravelly and rough. "missing my cock the way I’m missing your pussy? my fist isn’t the fucking same, princess, you know that? doesn’t grip me tight and snug like you do."
your skin flashes hot. "need me wrapped around you, izu?"
he groans low and filthy. your pussy flutters around nothing as you rub little circles on your clit. you might cum just from this, you think wildly.
"when I get home, I’m making you cum at least five times before I get my dick in you," izuku pants, teeth clenched between gasps. it’s been a week since he’s touched you, and not a single thing has relieved the ache in his cock. "want the lower half of my face fucking soaked in you, sweetheart, wanna ruin our sheets."
you whimper. his hand slides over the head of his cock, thumb rough over the slit, just like the way you touch him.
"fuck, you like the sound of that, don’t you? you’re making the sounds you make when you’re close."
"izu, honey, I wanna hear you cum first, okay?" it’s like you can barely get the sentence out. he bucks his hips hard into the ring of his fist.
"fuck. next time, baby, okay? cum with me now, can you do that?" he hears what sounds like sheets rustling and imagines you nodding your head furiously. god, you’re so fucking cute when you’re like this, pliant and begging. "rub that swollen clit of yours for me, I know you’re almost there. I’m right behind you, sweet girl."
"izuuuu," you wail. he’s memorized what you look like before you fall apart, head tossed back, eyes rolling up in your head, full mouth chanting his name. he conjures the image now, matches it to the sounds falling from your lips.
"there's my fucking girl, let me hear you." he feels his orgasm unfurl in his lower stomach, a keening ache that makes his rhythm falter.
can't wait till i'll home with you. don't forget to clean yourself up, baby. don't groan," he chuckles softly. "i'll be home soon enough to do it for you, and you know you don't like going to bed sticky."
"especially if you're not the cause," you tease sleepily. "night, izu. love you."
"love you, sweetheart. be home soon."
in such desperate need of comfort like this!! ˖⁺‧₊ as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are so appreciated <3
#sugarwarachanwrites#izuku midoriya#izuku midoria x reader#izuku midoryia smut#deku x reader#izuku midoriya x reader#izuku smut#izuku fluff#deku smut#bnha x reader#midoriya x reader#bnha smut#mha smut#mha x reader#my hero academia x reader#izuku x reader
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Ohh!!!!! Thank you so much… I am fond of you too ◜ᴗ◝
And I am fond of you ♥︎
@sansic8 @justnoobartistrose @hiltproboscis @vizzyreal
rb to tell ur mutuals ur fond of them
#You are too kind mzem ❤︎◜ᴗ◝#To those I tag don't have to reply. Just wanted you to know at least ♥︎♥︎
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The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
#it's bad if you want i have sex it's also bad if you DON'T want to have sex#god forbid if you're a woman in a heterosexual marriage and aren't in the mood#that's 'withholding sex' and you're clearly abusive scum who should be divorced and left without any of your shared assets.#but if you DO have sex now you're a degenerate freak plotting for the downfall of western society#i don't know what to say i'm just so tired#politics#culture#queerphobia#lgbtqia#misogyny#<it's not the exclusive source but let's be honest sooo much of this is integral to the patriarchy#patriarchy needs access to an underclass they can treat like sex objects but they also don't want them to have any human rights#so sexuality is both obligatory and stigmatized#purity culture#i'm really struggling with tagging this because most of the appropiate tags would- in a beautiful twist of irony- get me booted off tumblr
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mama a Body behind you 😰 // pt1/pt2/pt3
#NO I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED NONA PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT ME#the next book still doesn't have a release date and i don't wanna be left in lingo#and also i love nona and don't want anything bad to happen to her and i have a feeling. bad thing are gonna happen to her :')#also can you fucking believe it's december now. jesus christ#anway. tags now#tlt#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#gideon nav#harrow nonagesimus#harrowhark nonagesimus#griddlehark#ianthe tridentarius#palamedes sextus#camilla hect#nona#harrianthe#kay byeee!
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I've seen "I don't know how to play with toys anymore" a few times lately and just wanted to point out-
Playing with toys looks different for everyone, even actual children!
Playing with toys can look like: 🧸🪁🚂
Taking pictures of your toys and writing captions for them
Brushing or grooming soft toys or toys with rooted hair
Ordering or sorting your toys by colour/species etc
Making up stories, poems or comics about your toys
Dressing or accessorising your toys
Imagining your toys talking to you or each other, forming opinions of their own, etc
Drawing your toys
Taking your toys for a walk outside, even in a backpack or pocket if you don't want to carry them openly
Making lists of the toys you have and where you got them etc
Feel free to add your own ideas
#removing the agere part of the original text to make it more general but it still stands#since I saw at least one 'not agere but-' on this and wanted to make it more broad#Hester rambles#I don't know if this will be relevant to any of you but just in case#let's tag this why not#plushies#stuffies#toycore#kidcore#plushcore#agere#sfw agere#agedre#age dreaming
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Hey, I saw your tags while scrolling through the notes and I felt the need to comment, as I'm also involved in queer academia in Aus (currently awaiting acceptance into a post-grad program).
I do not know you, but I do know that you should absolutely go ahead with your thesis in spite of this. For us to stop talking about queer people and queer issues, or to censor ourselves while we do so, is to give those fascist fucks what they want. To back down or change ones course now is to obey them in advance.
So what if American publishers won't publish your paper? Fuck em! There are plenty of non-American publishers. Don't let them scare you, don't obey them, don't let them win.
Btw, this is how conservatives keep getting to claim that trans people are a new thing no one has ever heard, because our history and existences have continually been erased or obscured systematically through out history.
The most famous example was 92 years when the Nazis raided the library of the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, the medical practice where the term transsexual was first coined and the first gender affirming surgery was performed in in 1931.
What did the Nazis do after raiding the library on May 6th, 1933? You may be familiar with these images
It is happening again.
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Ok I am going to do this simply because the first thing I will put here I NEED to do it and I have 0 motivation to do it even though it is EXTREMELY important
In fact, I think that's the reason why I don't want to do it... anyway
If this gets to 30 notes, I do that thing ✅️
50 notes, I call to ask if my doctor's appointment has been scheduled (I've been avoiding it for two weeks now) ✅️
100 notes, I go wash my shoes that have long needed washing and are just sitting there, existing, waiting for me to deign to wash them. ✅️
200 notes, I finish organizing my room (I organized it halfway and then left a bunch of things that still don't have a defined place) ✅️
500 notes, I use the things I have to bleach and color my hair. The only thing that has stopped me is the fear of doing it wrong or being too lazy to maintain it. ✅️
1k notes, I stop doing things that I know will trigger my chronic pain with the pure intention of confirming that the pain was indeed real (don't do this. 0 recommended) ✅️
5k notes, I try some new food without fear of wasting money by buying something I most likely won't like (my autism hates new foods) ✅️
10k notes, I wear my bi flag earrings in front of someone I wouldn't usually wear them with. I trust that they possibly wouldn't have a problem with me being bi, but I would never get up the courage to tell them anything ✔️ (I haven't, but that person was in my room next to where the earrings are. They were 0% hidden) ✅️
20k notes, wtf I have absolutely no idea. If it comes to this, ehhh... Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing here. Do I promise to be honest in therapy and stop telling them that everything is perfect even though nothing has ever been perfect? Yeah, that probably works. Please don't go this far, I don't know how to do this. Maybe I should... but... it would be awful to learn it
April 2024: I stop procrastinating editing this post with the things I've already done. I WANT THE HAIR SO MUCH BUT IT'S SO DIFFICULT
May 2024: Red hair, red hair, red hair. I'M CROWLEY, RED HAIR!!!!!
#Just my random stuff tag because I don't want to do any of this stuff#but i do want to do this stuff#fuck i really hate wanting to do things and at the same time wanting to simply... stop#fuck#jay and... jay what are you doing?
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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.
#i can't believe i'm saying this#DEADPOOL CAN GET IT#Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him#I would too bestie#it's the sass for me folks#paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god#a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think#this is a branch in realities i know it#i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie#all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME#camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch#i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction#i love how you love deadpool#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here#@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating#do it again#gif is credit to the owner#30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update#damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here#guys just find my other post
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I'm not certain as to how many people checked the description of the new hbomberguy video but he linked a playlist to queer creators on youtube!
Your New Favorite YouTubers - Queer YouTubers you should check out, meticulously compiled by Kat.
It's worth a look! Please don't forget to support your fellow queer creators on YouTube whilst spreading memes and jokes about James Somerton and discussing the hbomberguy video!!
EDIT: @cursedgamerchild pointed out THIS REDDIT THREAD made by Kat
Which is a thread to share more discoveries of plagiarism and also to share more queer creators who could use some love! There's also a link to a google form if you don't have reddit and want to share said information.
#hbomberguy#james somerton#plagiarism#idk what to tag this as but please check the playlist out!!#I can attest to some of the creators on there already they're fantastic!#Plagiarism and You(Tube)#I did not make this playlist#this is something he linked and i know a lot of people are memeing right now and that's great#i just don't want the point of the video to be lost on tungle
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Okay I'm seeing confusion on this so let me help out to people who don't see the path chose.
Pedophilia, grooming, sexual abuse ect. is nearly universally hated it makes a knee jerk reactions of fear and hatred in most people.
In that reaction people act irrationally they will support a bill without fully reading understanding that it hurts predators and that's enough for them.
Next either hidden in addendum or in a seperate bill they sneak in a less publicized vote to consider expressions of same sex attraction or gender nonconformity to being "explicitly adult material".
Now you may be saying "ttmog it's been culturally adult material for generations what's the issue?" Well I'm glad you asked hypothetical questioner. The difference is it wasn't in legal documentation. The moment it becomes legal documentation it doesn't matter how defiant or polite you are it's seen as adult only material.
Now what does this do? Well it is illegal to distribute or expose adult material to minors. These bills would wager that by a child seeing two men kissing, or a amab in a dress, it is inherently exposing them to adult material. Which classifies the people observed as displaying adult material to a minor, which could be classified as grooming so now....:
We have a gay couple getting executed for displaying affection because a child happened to be present... despite the fact they see straight people do this every day on tv...
These bills are dangerous, they set dangerous precedent, and give means to change the word groomer to mean whatever the hell they want it to mean.
Leading to them being able to execute any group they want.
Be safe, be vigilant and keep fighting. These can not be let to lie we can NOT let them twist things.
Why am I telling all this? Well partially for your education maybe somebody will read this and be inspired to stand up in newfound clarity. But that's not the only reason. Those of you fighting need to be prepared to explain this. Because every time we just dismiss the people posting that "why are you saying it targets you" meme with that dumb goose it tells onlookers who are undecided that we can't answer the question.
Remember its not our goal to convince our opponent it's our goal to refute them well enough that onlookers won't be pulled into their den of propaganda.
Even if you think it won't convince the person you are arguing explain it so others don't get dragged down. And if you can't handle it? That's fine everyone needs a rest. Feel free to use this post as a way to explain if you wish or even tag me I have no qualms fighting bigots. I'm disabled I'm stuck at home and am working on making things for the family most the time. If I can use the times I need to rest my back to fight against stuff like that? Then I'm glad to just to make sure people are more safe.
Stay safe all drink yet water and remember you are loved and matter. You have a whole community behind you no matter what you aren't alone.
LGBT people, I need you to know that any “pedophile execution bill” passed in the US is meant to put you, personally, to death. When the right says “groomer,” they’re talking about you. When they say “predator,” they’re talking about you. When they say “pedophile,” they’re talking about you. Any actual child sex abusers who are convicted and executed would be, to them, a happy accident, a cherry on top of a law that’s meant to exterminate anyone who deviates from the cisgender, heterosexual norm.
#lgbt+#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtq community#legal system#trojan horse laws#lgbt community#keep fighting we arent dead yet
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:D
#I've been wanting to draw something like this#thank you for giving me the excuse#nuziv#vuzin#murder drones#my art#I'll get to the other requests eventually!#(except for the crossover and oc requests i'm so sorry but I don't do those right now)#again there are 3 requests that I really want to combine#I'll probably draw other things in between though#okay i'll just tag all the ships#nuzi#vuzi#envy#they give me so much joy#!!!#both uzi and v are going to die of embarrassment later btw#especially uzi
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