#I don't want to move again until I can afford to buy a decent house!

[chemicallady]

I'd like to say something at this point.

I'm reading here and there that some of you are changing their vision about Noah or reaching the point to ask yourself if you still want to be a supporter of him because of what that blog said about him.

I believe that what happened between Noah and this person is probably true, I don't have any reason to doubt about her. But.

As we say in Italy, you can't fully believe to a story if you ear just one-side bell. Noah doesn't have the chance to tell his side of the story because he has better things to do than care about gossip. More than that, it's a human being. We have to look at the big picture. I don't want to defend him at all costs, I actually really don't care because untill he will be a decent person in public (not saying bullshit like Ronnie, for instance) and continue to be polite to his supporters, we are cool. I think I'm far older than more than half of the rest of this (sometimes really bad) fandom because I was a teen in the years of the emo wave. You maybe don't know about the Used, early MCR, Radke himself, Oli Sykes before Sempieternal...

They were drugs addicted. Always drunks as skunks. Pissing on people, throwing mic stands in the pit, get FULLY NAKED on stage (I'll never forgot about this, Quinn Allman). They did some awful shit in front of they supporters and to their supporters. Things that nowadays would get them canceled. You have no idea (maybe, or maybe you have) of what was Warped Tour 2005. Or maybe it was 2004? I can't recall.

Bad Omens are TODDLERS compared to this people. Innocent, pure babies. They are nice, extrovert maybe but nice. No one can deny that. They dont do drugs, they dont get drunk on stage or fuck around this supporters. They have an healthy routine in tour, they are teaching people to not fucking fight, they don't fuel fights! Its NORMAL in metal to have a couple of injuries at concerts. Collateral damages. I was nine at my second concert and I saw Slipknot. One dude broke his nose in the pit. Blood everywhere.

It's not a fucking Hannah Montana show. Those dudes are suppose to be badass. Noah is not pretending to be someone else or faking a new personality. He is doing is job and he is delivering pretty good shows. In no time he will grab his crotch around moaning like Oli, give him fucking space to express himself and be feral. Like any other metal artist.

Another thing.

Bad Omens vip experience is not expensive. I don't have interest in buy vip pass for 30 second of nothing, I'd rather wait after the gig is over. I met so many artists this way and usually they are more appreciable if they don't have to move to the next city. BUT the costs is not that high. I bought vip pass for LP once and I had to work 3 months to save enough for it. And I was still living at my parents'!

The merch is high quality, they make new pieces every time.... that's their way to get real cash guys. During a tour you have to pay tons of shit: the venue, flights, hotels, your crew. And you pay in advance most of the time. I don't think they are rich bitches rn. They are doing fine probably but still many of them lives with friends. Having flatmates is many time a signal that you can't afford Ronnie Radke house in Paradise Palisades.

I heard that they weren't really nice during the set in Canada. Maybe Montreal or Toronto. Someone felt bad, someone dropped a surfer I don't know. I didn't follow this I here for dirty smutty ff. If I want to see them play I have tiktok. By the way you have to know that most of the time you can't see shit from stage. Because you have lights in your face pointing your eyes. So probably noah just say a crow surfer falling and thought 'here we go again, this people has no fucking etiquette', and he left the stage. Or maybe who owned the venue asked them to do so in case of emergency.

BTW there is no fucking etiquette at their concerts. I stand with him if he's pissed off about that. It's not that hard to understand that you have to stay at the sides if you're not used to metal shows or you don't want to be pushed. Other people is ruining your experience or maybe its simply not for you. I grew up in the moshpit and that's how we like our shit. We have no time for filming or make tiktoks, we live the moment (we, people who like metal music, I'm not gatekeeping. If you wanna learn how to survive the pit and enjoy the experience just message me.)

So, to sum up.

My point is that every one of us has that friend that was a dick with one or more girls we still love him because we know that he's a weirdo an not a bad person.

My advice is stop being obsessed with Noah and just enjoy his work. You dont know him, you cant tell. Don't believe everything, stories are getting bigger and bigger everytime their are told, and think about the fact that straight guys are mostly jerks. They take more time to mature and act like adults. We know that Noah is in therapy now, he open up about it, so he is aware that he is not perfect.

BECAUSE HE IS NOT. HE IS A HUMAN BEING AND HUMANS MAKE MISTAKES.

That's it.

I don't want to fuel fights as well but please stop being ridiculous and acting like he is insulting you personally. It's fine to be delululu but your pushing the limits.

Peace and love.

[roseonne]

shifted roles

Shift tries to perform his portrait, one more time.

for everyone's favorite little brother, shift ! ( ao3 link )

"I've always wanted an older brother."

Shift pauses. He takes in a quick breath, the quiet air of the empty theater greeting his lungs. The vacant seats and balconies patiently wait for his next act in anticipation. A single spotlight hovers steadily above his head.

Training, rehearsals, and special private lessons exclusively intended for whoever holds the honorable title of 'top actor' had concluded hours ago. Staff members from almost every department begin taking their respective leaves, one after another. Last time he asked, even Reni and his two favorite seniors were already on their way homes, too.

Despite all that, however, Shift decides he still is miles away from calling it a day. (Talk about a hard worker; he claims to have inherited this trait from a certain someone.)

Hence, after clearing his throat one more time, GOD-za's top actor tries reciting his lines again.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I've always wanted an older brother.

I thought it was cool... Having someone big and strong that I'd want to look up to while growing up. Maybe someone who could protect me when bad people decide to pick on me, one day. Someone I can talk to and rely on about literally anything and everything in the whole wide world.

"Shift!"

Hearing a voice call out to me from outside the comforts of my small room, I poke my head through the door I just opened to catch the rest of the message. It's a little disappointing to have my favorite train of thoughts interrupted, but I do have responsibilities I must attend to. (They're quite big too, actually.)

"I'm about to go now. Take good care of your brother while I'm out, alright?"

Ah... It's a weekend today, so no classes for me. (Thank goodness!) But of course, mom has a job. She works really hard every day to provide for us, her family; to send meーher eldest childーto a decent school; and most importantly, to afford buying my baby brother's medicine.

The rusty old handles of the house gates shut and lock with a distinct clang. Mom is officially off to another day, another strive.

"...Okay, mom."

It's the exact same routine since... forever. But it's not like I have any right nor the luxury to complain, though.

With a sigh, I gather up all the energy I could muster to jump off of my bed and head out, as well. One, last glance filled with longing and a hint of regret is the parting gift I offer my room in the meantime.

"Until tonight," I bid my imaginary indestructible fortress of stacked pillows and tied blankets a semi-bitter farewell.

When I said I have quite the big shoes to fill, this is what I meant.

Arakawa Shift is not a typical school kid.

I don't only have to worry about homework and assessment tests. I can't stay out too late after class playing with my friends (well, I don't have plenty of them in the first place, anyway). What I do have though are personal duties at home that I cannot and must not set aside even for a millisecond.

Every desperate thought and possible attempt of prioritizing acts of self-centeredness in any form ought to be ignored, forgotten, and never be given into. I learned this by watching mom.

When she gets home every night, it looks to me as though she barely has any time left to spare for herself. Immediately fixing her attention onto my little brother, I volunteer to do the rest of the chores to help. Cooking simple meals for supper, washing used dishes, cleaning the houseーname it! I love my mom a whole lot, so if I could help her, I'd willingly do so in a heartbeat.

While on my way to my brother's room, my eyes get caught by the big window in the kitchen.

"Hm. That's odd."

Something tells me I should just look away and move on; but that just made me want to know what exactly is going on out there more badly. And sure enough, within mere moments did my curiosity indeed outweigh my instincts, prompting me to grab the nearest chair to climb onto and take a quick peek at the world spinning beyond my life as a dedicated homebody.

From the parted curtains of the kitchen window, kids around my age and range are running in circles, throwing all sorts of toys at each other and playing every kind of game I could think of (some of which, I have never seen nor heard).

A conflicted smile suddenly appears on my face, surprising even myself; but it didn't do so much as only make me resemble a sad young, dumb, and broke loner.

Oh.

Wait a minute.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad though! And I'm certainly not a loner. Heh, why would I be? I mean, I have a cute, little baby brother who I love so much. I could just play with him, and we'd have a lot of fun together! Just the two of us, today. Tomorrow. And always.

Shaking my head at the mess outside, I finally ease myself down from the kitchen counter and move on; all the while defying the tiny sting in my chest by pretending as though I feel absolutely nothing about kids making the most out of their childhood years.

"It's alright, we all have our own timelines. I'll have mine some day..." I try my best to console myself. 

Speaking of timelines though, just a little more about my brother, the doctor said he's a little sickly at his current age but his body and condition will improve gradually as he grows. So until he can stand tall on his own two feet, I should act strong on his behalf. I have to. For aside from mom, I'm the only person my baby brother has.

I may not have a biologically-related big brother, but at least I can be that personーa reliable, older siblingーfor somebody else. And if I ever had a chance to go back and choose a life for myself? Nah. I really couldn't ask for a better familial circumstance to be in. Honestly.

"So... I'll do my best!"

That's the promise I made that day. How could I forget? It's the promise I'm more than ever ready to uphold and fulfill for as long as I live. It's... the sole, and same promise I failed to keep.

Starting the day off in a good mood is completely shattered, once inside the quarters of my baby brother. He seems fine, sleeping soundly at first glance; but the horrors of the worst scenario occurring right before my very eyes immediately dominated my entire sense of reason.

While holding my pinky finger close to his nostrils, time freezes.

He's not breathing.

In a state of panic, I frantically lean my ear onto his chest for a signーany signーof hope. Still.

I can't feel a pulse.

And all of a sudden, an ear-splitting scream. I'm not sure where it's coming from, considering I'm the only conscious person in the house.

Oh, wait.

I am screaming.

In that instant, I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, I couldn't feel. Everything else is spinning in a blur, and the only thing I can recall afterwards is sitting alone by the nearest hospital bench; knees weak, fingers trembling, breaths heavily shaky and unsteady.

"This can't be happening. No. I won't forgive myself if anything bad happens to Oruto...!"

Mom had to excuse herself early from work (she had no choice but), immediately rushing home once the neighbors heard my inhumane cries and decided to phone her.

She walks out of the ward that my brother's confined in, together with his doctor, and upon seeing me, they both take a seat on either side of me.

"Don't worry. He's okay. He's okay," the doctor tells me, giving my head gentle pats every couple of seconds.

"It's not your fault, Shift," mom whispers straight into my ear, as she wraps me tightly in her embrace; each of her words carrying a different weight of assurance I badly need to believe... But somehow can't. "I'm just glad you both are safe..."

The tears can't and won't seem to be stopping any time soon.

It's a memoryーa living nightmareーthat'll haunt me in my dreams for the rest of my life; no matter how many days, weeks, months, or even years pass. The image of my brother's face, pale and limp, will forever be engraved at the back of my mind.

I don't think I'll ever fully recover from that. Even if my brother himself is all healed and grown.

But... I have to make it. We have to make it through together, one way or another.

"I'll always protect you, Oruto."

My little brother smiles. When he does that, all the scarring wounds in my heart feel a little lighter; a little better, even.

"Hehe... Nii-san, you can choose you now."

Five words. And after all those years of loving anybody first over me, it takes just five, simple words coming from his mouth to make me begin asking questions I never would have dared construct into actual sentences in the first place.

"Does my brother not need me anymore? Was there even any point in my own selflessness? What is my purpose now that I've been instructed to choose myself by the very person I sworn lifelong protection to?"

I'm lost. Confused. Unsure about where to go, from here. Unsure about a lot of other things. And unsure about the only new door that opened for me.

Direct Invitation for the position of: TOP ACTOR Regards, GOD-za

I had no actual background in theater nor acting; save for the limited knowledge I've gathered from reading plays and reciting lines in scripts I luckily manage to get my hands on at the local library. I'd borrow them, and immerse myself in the tiny universes created by a variety of multiple authors as a way to escape the cruelty life occasionally throws my way.

And although skeptic, initially crestfallen at having been casted aside when no longer needed, it's only upon my brother's very suggestion that I accepted the offer; as the most fabulous theater company in Veludo Way officially scouts me as their reigning top actor.

I couldn't believe it, at first. Receiving a paycheck, people's acknowledgements, and one-on-one special training to prepare me for an upcoming act off. My first show! Ever! With me as the lead! Yay!

The brief phase of adjustment is neither easy nor troublesome, if I say so myself. It's okay for the most part; save for things getting quite tough on some days. One thing's for sure thoughーthis whole, life-changing experience has seemingly helped me grow a new pair of wings to fly with.

I've also met a lot of cool people I now look up to, at GOD-za. Haruto-san, the top actor right after me. Madoka, our new playwright.

"Don't hold me back, newbie," Haruto-san often says.

"If... If there's anything you want to change in the script, you can tell me," Madoka often reminds.

Haruto-san's a little loud, but he's amazing in way more ways than one. Madoka too; extreme talent hiding underneath that soft spoken nature. I can't lose!

Such a tough challenge we had to take on; especially with all the controversies revolving it. And an equally harder acceptance of defeat, fair and square; but there is room for all three of us to grow, individually and collectively. So we did.

But for the first time in my life, I felt okay being myself. I may not have been able to be a child during my earlier years alive and kicking on this planet, but it's never too late to unleash the youthful charm of being unapologetically 'Shift Arakawa'.

"Hehe, I have my two favorite seniors to be grateful for too, of course!"

Hence, it's in GOD-za that my long-standing wish has finally been granted. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I'm... just not sure if they know this, but Haruto-san and Madoka are the closest to my heart than I ever was myself."

Shift relives every memory he has of the three of them togetherーcreating plays, performing etudes, and hanging out after a long day's worth of hard work in Haruto's apartment. He wouldn't have gotten thus far, if not for the both of them.

"I'm aware that I could be a mouthful sometimes... But, they never asked me to change," he stammers, voice wavering from the amount of emotions he's facing and pouring forth into the world. "They never made me feel that I was weird; and that I did not belong here."

The top actor breathes deeply. Feeling content and satisfaction not only for a successful attempt of doing his portrait, but at the particular shifting of his own roles throughout his fifteen years existing, thriving, and living.

"I've always wanted an older brother," Shift beams, the sparkle in his eyes barely visible now that his wide, signature smile has taken full effect all over his face, "but GOD-za gave me two." 

[burningspy]

And addendum to my previous reblog/post:

I just made another trip back to the old apartment to pick up some busted old furniture that I’m hauling to the dump, and 3 of the DPD squad cars were still on the scene in the 7-11 parking lot. I assume one of the two cruisers that had already left had the “suspect” in the back seat.

This time, the remaining officers were accompanied by a Crime Scene tech that was thoroughly searching the car (oddly, it was a Scion Tc that looked a lot like my old car before it was totaled).

Now I am even more curious as to what happened. I can still only make assumptions, but as I stated previously I think the car might have been stolen. After I loaded up and was back on the road, I noticed a “normal” car parked next to the scene with two people speaking with the officers. If my guess is correct, I would think one of those people is possibly the legal owner of the vehicle.

If that is the case, then it luckily worked out in his favor. The car was recovered undamaged and the suspect was arrested relatively peacefully (except for what appeared to be a little tantrum, kicking his heels in to the concrete as he sat on the ground handcuffed behind his back).

[helloalycia]

overstepping [one] // jane banner (Wind River)

summary: after getting several voicemails from your colleague and best friend with her asking for your backup, you attempt to call her back, only to get no answer.

warning/s: mentions of rape, murder and injuries.

author’s note: this is a two parter because i finally watched Wind River and it broke my heart but also lizzie was v cute and i felt the need to write this, hope you like it x

part two | masterlist | wattpad

"C'mon, work you stupid phone," I complained for the millionth time, before standing on the chair to get a better signal.

When I saw the bars in the corner of the screen increase, a grin appeared on my lips. I loved my parents, but the fact that they lived in a remote cabin in Tennessee with zero signal was not my favourite thing.

When the bars remained, my phone decided to actually be helpful and receive all the messages, calls and voicemails I missed. I did a brief flick through, noticing nothing was too important that couldn't wait for me to return to work. As an FBI agent, I rarely got time off. And now that I had taken a two month vacation to spend with my parents, I was adamant on enjoying it, even if I was missing work a smidge.

Next were the calls, which I noticed were mostly from my colleague and close friend, Jane Banner. I furrowed my brows, realising she'd left me several voicemails, too, which was strange since she knew I was on a break from work. What could be so important?

I sighed, glancing down at my uncomfortable position standing on the chair and leaning above the wardrobe. It was the only place in the house with decent signal and the only other place that wasn’t in the middle of nowhere was twenty minutes out. Telling myself I'd just listen to one voicemail to make sure everything was okay, I played the earliest message.

"Hey, Y/N. I'm sorry, I know you're on a break, but I just had to talk to you," it began, and Jane sounded troubled. "I was in Vegas, as you know, but I've been called out to a reservation in Wyoming where this poor girl was–" She paused, releasing a shaky breath. "She was raped and left to die out in the cold. I thought I could send in another team to take a look – y'know, usual protocol. But the coroner won't rule it a homicide and you know what that means."

I swallowed hard, knowing exactly what that meant. If it wasn't ruled a homicide, no backup would come and we had to move onto the next case. But if this girl was raped and left to die, the rapist was still out there and wasn't getting caught by the FBI.

"I can't just leave it and go," Jane continued quietly, with that recognisable passion for her job evident in her voice. "I have to do what I can. But I... I can't do this alone. It's not like other cases, Y/N. It's different out here. And there's only so much their police department can do. I know you're on a break, but I was hoping that, maybe, you could come out here and help me? It's the Wind River Indian Reservation. That's it, I guess. Bye."

The message ended and I found myself chewing on my lower lip anxiously, unable to think about anything other than Jane now. She'd worried me with that one voicemail alone – I couldn't imagine what the others said.

She was usually so good at dealing with cases, but this seemed different. She sounded shaken up, attempting to put on a brave face by the sounds of it. What was so different about this case? She didn't need me. She was capable.

Curiosity got the better of me and I played the second message, ignoring the discomfort in my arms as I stretched to maintain the signal. It was left a day after the first one.

"Hey, so I just remembered that you said you don't get much signal up there with your parents," she began apologetically. "I don't mean to– shit, it's so cold..." There was a pause, a noise in the background, then she continued, "Sorry, just turning up the heating. Anyway, I was saying. I don't mean to intrude on your break. I just– I'm hoping you'll find signal and hear this because I could really use your help. I think we've got a lead on who may have done it. It was hectic today. Really could've used that backup."

She chuckled dryly at her attempt at a joke, but all I felt was guilt. She sounded exhausted within a day of being there.

"I hope you get this," she finished with a sigh. "I should go. Got a busy day tomorrow. Hope you're doing okay. Bye."

I wasted no time in playing the next message. Three days into her case.

"I don't know why I keep sending these," she began with a hoarse voice, and my heart clenched at the sound of it. "You clearly aren't getting them in time. But it's easier talking to you like this than not at all."

It went quiet, so quiet that I thought she may have finished and forgot to hang up. But then she spoke up again, a whimper escaping her lips.

"It's so hard," she admitted. "We've covered worse cases, but this one... everything about it makes me uncomfortable. Something doesn't feel right. I've got a lead – we think it might be the boyfriend who did it and we're gonna see him tomorrow. But I don't know."

I frowned, squeezing my phone tightly because I didn't recognise the girl speaking as my friend. This girl sounded broken and I wondered what she could have discovered that made her like this.

"I've got the police department with me for backup," she said with a sniffle. "And Cory, he's a hunter whose been helping me with the case. They're all gonna be with me tomorrow. But I wish you were here, too. You always make things easier."

The lump in my throat wouldn't disappear no matter how many times I swallowed it. She made things easier, too. Always. And all I wanted to was be by her side and be there for her like she always was for me.

"Sorry about this," she said with a watery laugh, and I could imagine the embarrassed smile on her face as she did. "I sound like such an idiot. Never mind these messages. Just enjoy your break. I shouldn't be worrying you like this. See you when you get back."

The message ended and I checked to see if there were anymore, but to my disappointment, there wasn't. That message was from a few days ago and she hadn't sent anything since which was concerning in itself.

Trying not to panic for no reason, I called Jane. Hopefully everything was okay and I was being stupid. She was a fully-trained FBI agent. She could take care of herself. Right?

The call rang and rang, but nobody picked up. One missed call. No biggie. She probably heard it and couldn't find her phone or something. So, I tried again.

More ringing and no answer. Okay, no big deal. Just try again.

Another call and no answer. The chewing on my lip became more intense. Why the hell wasn't she picking up? Was she still working the case?

I waited an hour, trying again at ten minute intervals, unable to fight my concern. But there was no answer every time and I realised that I couldn't sit and wait for her to call back. Not after how she sounded in those voicemails.

No, I had to go there. She needed backup.

—

Wyoming was way colder than I could have prepared for.

I mean, technically, I prepared for nothing. I bid my parents a goodbye, threw some random clothes in a bag and caught the next plane over there. I tried for Jane's phone constantly, knowing she was never one to ignore me for this long, but there was no point. She wasn't answering, which could only mean so much.

When I reached the reservation, I had no idea where anything was or what I was looking for exactly. I just knew that as soon as the taxi dropped me off in the centre of town, I didn't know where to go.

There were a lot of locals hanging around, so my first port of call was to ask them if they'd seen Jane around – or Agent Banner, as she may have introduced herself. I showed them a picture of her on my phone, described her with vivid detail, but they just stared at me like I was crazy. I was starting to believe I was at one point, until I stopped by the convenience store.

As worried as I was for Jane's whereabouts, the chill in my bones was real. Especially my hands, which I was certain would fall off any minute. So, I decided to buy some gloves and also ask the cashier if he'd seen Jane around or heard anything of her. Whilst I was doing that, a customer caught my attention, probably having overheard my conversation.

"Did you say Jane Banner?" he asked with a quirked brow, interrupting my purchase. "The FBI lady, right?"

I nodded quickly, facing him. "Yes, that's her! D'you know where she is?"

He nodded casually. "Yeah, she's in the hospital. That big shootout that happened a few days ago, right?"

My stomach dropped. "The what?"

"The shootout," he repeated, not aware of the concern in my face. "At the drill site. A bunch of officers were killed and the FBI lady was one of the only one left standing." He tutted as he shook his head. "Very lucky that one."

A shootout? The hospital? Only one left standing? No wonder she hadn't been answering her calls.

"Can you– do you–" I stopped, clearing my throat and trying to stop freaking out. "Which hospital?"

After getting the address from him, I caught a taxi to the only hospital in town and prayed to God that Jane was okay. The one thing she'd asked for was backup and I couldn't even give her that. If I'd just looked at my messages sooner... fuck.

Getting past the front desk and to Jane's room was no issue at all. A quick flash of my FBI badge was enough for the receptionist to give me the details and wave me through. My heart was constricting in my chest the longer it took. What if it was really bad? What if that customer's intel was outdated and Jane was– no. I couldn't afford to think like that.

Upon finding Jane's room, I spotted an older man leaving through the door, being careful to close it behind him. I didn't recognise him at all.

"Excuse me," I called, earning his attention. "Is that Jane Banner's room you just came from?"

He seemed surprised, glancing over his shoulder to make sure I was speaking to him, before nodding. "Yes. Sorry, who are you?"

I pulled my badge from my pocket and showed him, though I doubted anyone would take me seriously when my eyes were watering at thought of Jane being severely injured.

"I'm her friend," I said, swallowing down the lump in my throat before lowering my badge.

"Oh, you're the backup that didn't come," he said with realisation.

My eyes flickered to the floor guiltily. He wasn't exactly wrong.

"I didn't mean it like that," he added quickly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

I shook my head, lifting my eyes to meet his. "It's okay. I should've... I should've been here." It went quiet as he didn't know what to say, so I looked to him halfheartedly. "I assume you're from the police department, one of the ones who helped Jane."

"Not exactly," he said, before putting out his hand for me to shake. "Name's Cory. I'm a hunter by trade."

Returning his handshake, I recalled Jane's voicemail. "Oh, yeah, she mentioned you... thank you for helping her out."

When I couldn’t, I added in my head.

He offered me a small smile and I couldn't find it in myself to return it. I must have looked like shit, since he gave me a pitiful gaze.

"You want me to catch you up before you go in?" he asked, nodding to Jane's door. "She's okay by the way."

I nodded, sucking up a breath. My nerves were eating away at me the longer I didn't see Jane – half of me was terrified of what I'd find, and the other half was afraid she'd be upset or angry because I left her to it, even when she pleaded for my help.

Cory and I took a seat down the hall and he proceeded to explain about the case and how they found the guy who raped that poor girl. The shootout was the worst bit, making me shiver with discomfort. Apparently, Jane had gotten blasted with a shotgun, puncturing her torso and neck despite the vest she wore. All of the officers with her were killed and by the sounds of it, Jane almost was, too. But Cory managed to take out the criminals and the rapist himself. When he was finished telling me, I had no words.

"She's a bit shaken up, but her surgery went well," Cory reassured with a short nod. "Does she know you're coming?"

I shook my head, voice thick with emotion. "She wouldn't answer her phone. I guess I know why now."

Cory nodded, rubbing the back of his neck before sparing me a consoling glance. "She talked about you a lot. I think it'll cheer her up seeing you. You should go."

My eyes met his, teary and stinging with unshed tears. "Thank you so much."

He shrugged bashfully, but he didn't realise all that he'd done. I gave him a small, tight smile before standing up with a sigh. No point dwelling anymore – I had to see her.

Pushing my selfish feelings aside, I sucked it up and approached Jane's room. She would either want to punch me or not, but either way, I had to see if she was okay. And so, when I opened the door slightly, heart racing in my chest, said heart jumped in my throat at the sight of her.

She was laying on the bed with wires stuck in her and, only from what I could see, bandages were covering the side of her neck. I thought she was sleeping at first, but then her head tilted towards the door curiously, and bright blue eyes widened with disbelief.

"Y/N?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "What are you– how did you get here?"

I closed the door behind me and hesitantly approached her bedside, unable to stop my eyes from soaking in the sight of her. She looked so feeble and vulnerable and unlike how I saw her last. Then, Cory's words came back to me and I began to imagine the worst scenario of her getting shot, blood seeping from her wounds, the life draining from her eyes...

"Y/N," she called, and I looked to her startlingly, hoping I didn't look as troubled as I felt.

"Sorry," I said, clearing my throat. "I, er– the messages. Voicemail. I heard them and tried calling you back, but..."

She pursed her lips, exhaling with a wince and looking up at the ceiling, as if suddenly remembering she left messages in the first place.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner," I said quietly, guilt seeping back in.

"No, no, don't be," she said, and I just about noticed the pink dusting her cheeks. "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have interrupted your vacation like that. I know you said you wanted a break and–"

"Jane, no, don't even say that," I cut her off, reaching for her hand in an instant. She looked my way, eyes flickering between mine nervously. I squeezed her hand gently and said, "I should have been here. You needed me and I– I didn't come. Maybe if I had, this could have ended differently."

She tried to smile, but I could see the discomfort in her eyes. "It's not that bad, honestly. It just looks bad."

I pressed my lips together, eyes falling to the bandage on her neck. Even though it was big and covered her wound, I could still make out the bruising around it from the impact of the shell. I didn't imagine the torso wound looking any different, and that thought alone made me regret leaving her alone. It was very much as bad as it looked; I knew that and she knew that.

Her lips trembled as she avoided my eyes, her own tearing up. I pushed away my guilt momentarily and changed the subject.

"So, I met Cory. He seems like a great guy."

She didn't say anything as she seemed lost in thought. Either that or she was trying not to cry in front of me. I hoped it wasn't the latter, since the last thing I wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable.

"You know," I said, when she wouldn't speak, "I'm pretty sure I told you to stay safe before I left for my vacation."

At my poor attempt to lighten the mood, she cracked a small, tight smile, but a smile nonetheless, and my racing heart slowed down momentarily.

"I'm glad you're okay," I said, now that I had her attention again, and she looked my way with a softened expression. "Kind of okay. But you know... okay."

Thankfully, she knew what I meant and her hand tightened around mine.

"I'm glad you came," she returned, and I couldn't look away even if I tried. She was always able to trap me with a single gaze.

With a tug of her hand, she motioned for me to sit on the edge of her bed, so I did. And then she began to ask me about my vacation, what I'd been up to this past month, how my parents were... basically anything and everything except for the case. And it was understandable, since she was reminded of it all the time. If I could be a form of escapism for her, so be it. It was the least I could do.

We spoke for hours until the nurse came in to let me know visiting hours were over and I'd have to come back tomorrow. With a regretful sigh, I got up from my seat on her bedside and stretched my limbs.

"Where are you staying?" she asked, a slight frown on her lips.

I smiled awkwardly, realising I didn't think that far ahead. "I'm not gonna lie, I don't know. I came straight here. There's gotta be a hotel or something in this town, right?"

She nodded and flicked her hand to the shelves on the other side of the room. "You should stay in my room in the inn. Key's in my bag over there."

"Oh, I don't have to do that–"

"Y/N, it's not like I'm going to be staying there anytime soon," she cut me off, smiling halfheartedly. "Please."

I chewed on my lip and nodded, giving in. When I grabbed her keys from her bag, I stopped by her bedside and gave her a supportive smile.

"I'll back first thing in the morning, if you don't mind," I said, and she finally gave me a smile that reached her eyes.

"I'd like that."

I nodded, resting a hand on hers and squeezing comfortingly. "Goodnight."

—

Though I knew Jane was okay, I still couldn't stop myself from thinking about her all night. The sight of her wounds and the broken expression on her face was enough to keep me awake. And the guilt that came with it all... why couldn't I have just picked up my damn phone?

As promised, I returned to Jane's hospital room the next morning, this time bringing some breakfast snacks from the hospital cafeteria since I knew the food would be much better than whatever they were serving her. Judging by the content expression on her face when I gave it to her, I was right.

When she finished eating, she was able to sit up slightly and move over on her bed, urging for me to join her and watch some TV with her. There was no way I was going to turn down that offer, so I slid next to her and kept a packet of sliced apples between us as we watched whatever was playing on the TV.

About halfway through watching, she spoke up randomly, taking me by surprise.

"When are you leaving?"

I tore my gaze from the screen and realised she was staring at me with intense green eyes.

"When you're well enough to," I answered truthfully.

She looked down to her hands. "You don't have to stay with me. You can go."

I studied her profile, knowing it was the wrong time to appreciate how stunning she looked even when she was makeup-free, sporting a bed head and tired.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked softly, afraid I may have overstepped.

She was quick to shake her head slightly, finally lifting her gaze to meet mine with glossy ones. "No."

I nodded, trying very hard not to smile, cleared my throat and grabbed her hand. "Then I'm not leaving. I'll be right here until you get better and I can take you home."

A ragged breath escaped her lips as she nodded in response. We both looked back to the TV and I noticed she didn't let go of my hand, her fingers warm to the touch and giving me goosebumps at the contact. But I wouldn't have had it any other way.

[trekwiz]

Just before the winter break, I got a raise that finally brought me to a point where I don't have to stress too much about money. I joked about finally being middle class, but in my state, that's not quite true. Our housing bracket is still "good luck finding something you could afford that doesn't need to be rebuilt." We're not really there yet.

By most standards, though, I make a decent wage. But I can't help comparing it to my childhood. And it's clear just how badly this country fucked our generation.

I'm within about 10 years of the age my grandparents were when I was born. One of them had a decent government job; I make now, what he made in the early 90s. I really want to compare both the buying power in general, but also what it took to get this wage.

I'm college educated. I was in debt that fucked me over for a long time. The settlement I made came back and screwed me with taxes again, too. I started with a huge setback where it was too expensive to live. I worked too hard; at one point, I was working 4 jobs at the same time, and I still wasn't able to put a roof over my head. It was hell. I don't know how I made it through. I almost didn't. I was lucky and managed to avoid homelessness twice.

The job I did get was purely by luck. I happened to be connected to someone connected to a recruiter on LinkedIn, when they did a search for a word in my resume. Luck. And even luckier to have an amazing manager who actively made opportunities for me.

By contrast, my grandparent was uneducated. And to be clear, I don't mean this in the modern sense: he was a middle school dropout. And he was rather dim as a person in general; if you ever knew him, you'd wonder how he didn't win a Darwin award. He was also maliciously stupid; were he alive today, he'd be a Trump supporter. He wasn't likeable; he didn't grow his career from having connections. He just showed up and it was enough.

He was a firefighter--a low wage field--until towns preyed on that labor and made it volunteer-only. He moved into a county government job--again, not known to be a big wage sector--as a fire inspector.

Around my age, at this same wage, he had a very nice home. 3 bedrooms, around 2,000 square feet, and enough money saved to have a second story built with 2 more bedrooms, kitchen, living room, dining room, and two bathrooms, bringing the total over 3,000 square feet. Big front and back yard! Also, it was new construction to begin with, he was the first owner.

He had the disposable income for a timeshare near Disney. To buy a decent pool with all of the construction work involved with securing the yard and adding a deck. A new car every 5 years. Dinner out multiple times per week at the kind of restaurants I might be able to go to as a rare birthday or anniversary treat.

This wage was GREAT in the 90s. It was attainable without the advantages of an education, a professional network, decent social skills, or even much of a work ethic*. He also had some jail time that somehow didn't hold his income back. (And though he would argue the point, he wasn't white, so that wasn't his source to success, either.) Also, my grandmother worked as a secretary and had a comparable wage to my boyfriend, so this is an almost exact dollar for dollar comparison. Though in their case, she didn't pay any of the bills--not true for us.

In 2022, this wage doesn't buy that. Any of it.

We are lucky enough to own a home. It was only possible because of family discounts--having a realtor in the family shaves down a lot of the upfront costs.

We have about 650 square feet. It doesn't have enough storage, even just for clothing--literally, there are 1.5 closets. 2 very small bedrooms. Nearly no yard. It's an old house with a variety of problems related to its age. We asked around and a new construction home is about twice the cost of ours, which is already at the top of what we can afford. For comparison.

I can't even imagine fitting a timeshare into the budget, let alone the cost of a week long vacation on top of it. New car every 5 years? Impossible. Pool? Really tempted to make it work in our garage with one of those cheap liners on stilts. But in the yard, with necessary fencing, a deck, and a solid frame for the liner? Impossible. Fancy restaurants a couple times per week? No way.

The idea of a good wage today is the same number it was in the 90s, yet the overall buying power is a lot less. And it's a lot harder to get there.

*and let me tell you about work ethic. That word doesn't mean the same thing today, either! My schooling included job shadowing with companies that opted in, in addition to "Take your kid to work" days. People who are allowed to host kids for job shadowing were generally the top workers; companies weren't going to reward the slackers with extra down time.

And the pacing, universally, was just completely different than it is today. Your first hour was spent with a newspaper in hand. Can you imagine? Just relaxing for your first hour of work doing absolutely nothing productive. Just reading the newspaper, maybe having a donut and juice or coffee. Without management commenting about it? Didn't matter where I job shadowed: low wage or high wage office alike, work did not start until after the first hour.

It was also a lot easier to take breaks than it is today. Do you know how long smokers spent away from their desks throughout the day? How casually they could just walk out, whenever they wanted to?

The way we work hard today was absolutely not the norm even 30 years ago. Our productivity is much higher on a per-hour basis today, yet we're expected to work harder than the previous generation, for relatively less.

It's obscene.

I can't help but think about how much our generation has lost to weakening federal protections and an unwillingness to legislate fair wages.

[chanlixformysoul]

Sounds easy, right? [ Chanlix ]

rating: mature

word count: 2217

chapter: 1

next chapter: 2

summary:

➥ Felix was sent to kill Chan but he got hurt and now Chan is nursing Felix back to health, they might also fall in love on the way.

song recommendation:

estimated reading time: 17.1 minutes

ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Felix would sneak his way in, kill Chan and get his goddamn money.

But oh boy he was in for a ride. The 'Big Boss' as people would call him wasn't that big nor great at all, he was just the co-CEO of the company, one position away from being the big CEO. His brother, Chan's dad, died besides his mother 7 years ago in a car accident , leaving Chan as CEO of the company. The Big Boss used Felix whenever he wanted to, but he never put Felix in a position like this before, to kill a person. He knew that if he disobeyed the Big Boss he would get beaten up and tortured, plus he would never get the money promised back and the fact that he was a cat hybrid didn't help either. The Big Boss told Felix to kill Chan, he would sneak in his house and get rid of him because he needed to not because he wanted to.

Sounds easy, right?

Well it actually isn't, not when Felix tripped because the welcome mat at the entrance was crooked sending his head into the door with a loud thump sound. As he tried to get away fast he lost his balance and was sent once again flying down the big and grand staircase. The door immediately opened, revealing a distressed looking man, shirt halfway undone and one shoe off. Felix knew Chan rushed outside because of the noise that he made but he couldn't help but admire his figure.

'Hey buddy, care to explain?' Chan said as he crossed his arms one over another raising his eyebrows.

'I umm... actually.... sorry, I gotta go.' But little did he know that falling down a huge staircase can do this much. Pain started to shoot from his ankles to his ribs and back. The big impact with the door sure left it's mark as he felt blood dripping from his blonde locks to his eyebrows. He pulled himself from the ground, trying to not make a fool out of himself more than he actually did earlier, wincing and shooting silent cuss words at himself for being so goddamn stupid.

Before he could walk down the street, he wanted to run but he weighed his options and he knew that if he started running it was only a matter of two steps before he came crashing to the ground once again.

He was about to do his second step but suddenly a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

'What the heck happened to you?'

'Oh... as I said I have to go, sorry.'

'You're not going anywhere, not with that head of yours.'

Felix couldn't believe what just happened, he screwed up the mission. He could say goodbye to this month's rent, goodbye to any decent meal he would allow himself to buy with the money check. Maybe if Big Boss would have some mercy he could leave him and not kill him, maybe he would understand, but deep down Felix knew he was gonna be tortured again by the thoughts of affording to even live when he opens his eyes every morning.

He couldn't stop trembling and his legs started shaking with fear of being killed by Big Boss because of his failed mission. Before he knew it he started crying, like full on sobbing and at last collapsed to the ground leaving a distressed Chan picking him up and urgently calling his doctor to come see the boy.

Chan was confused, really confused. This boy, he wanted to do something, right? But at the same time he couldn't help but feel a little weird because of the younger one. He had such a pretty face, rosy cheeks accompanied by constellations of freckles, lips that looked like petals of the rarest and finest flower you could find on earth. Chan found himself admiring the boy after the doctor left. As the doctor said it there weren't such serious issues but it wasn't something little either. The paper entitled prescription was long and let's say not even close to Felix's budget.

Chan kept a washing cloth by his side all the time, slowly stroking the youngest arms and forehead. He placed Felix on his bed justifying his actions in his head saying 'the couch is too small'. As he was making his way to the kitchen,Chan saw a little head that popped up in his bed. He made sure to bring the glass of water and the pills that the doctor prescribed. Felix woke up, and by that he knew he had officially fucked up real hard.

He tried to escape the blanket, kicking it off of him but the pain started once again as well. His ribs, back, legs, head and ankles hurt like hell. As he cleared his vision he saw Chan... he was done for sure.

'Hi there, I see that you woke up. Don't worry just stay in bed and take these. Oh and the bill for the medication, I took care of it.' He simply said smiling while placing the pills and water down on the nightstand.

Felix immediately came to his senses when Chan sat besides him on the bed. He tried to get off the bed but he was once again stopped but this time not only by the immense pain, but by strong arms.

'Where are you going?'

'To my house? I didn't ask for your kindness you know? You could've just let me be on the ground. It would've been better that way for the both of us trust me.' Felix said with no emotion in his voice.

'Hey, you can go to your home once you will recover, I'm not letting you out like this especially at this hour.' That made Felix turn his head for the nearest thing that indicated time only to read it as 11:34 pm. Fucking great isn't it. He knew the busses wouldn't be out that late and he knew that from this wealthy neighbourhood to his small apartment was an immense distance that he couldn't travel by foot.

'At least tell me your name, mines Chan.'

'Felix...'

'That's a cute name, Felix.' Chan said while trying to get the younger one to look at him in the eyes. He was getting closer and closer until he saw that Felix was crying once again.

'Hey what's wrong? Did I make you uncomfortable?'

'I failed, I'm gonna be left in the streets again, I'm so sorry. Please let me go, please. I'm a bad person, you don't want me here.' Felix continued sobbing, putting his hands to cover up his face and turning his head so Chan couldn't look at him.

'No you're not a bad person, Felix. If you want you can stay here with me, I'm always lonely, I rarely go out because of my work. I'm either at work or at home. You can stay with me for as long as you want to, I won't force you, just come here...' Chan says looking at Felix with gentleness in his eyes before climbing over the mattress to hug the youngest little frame.

'It's okay, Lix, I'm here you don't need to worry'

'Why are you being nice to me? I was supposed to do a bad thing to you.' He says sniffing and letting more tears fall down.

'Felix, I like you, that's why I'm being nice to you, I want you to stay with me, please tell me what's wrong' Chan said, voice trembling, not knowing what to do.

'Please don't hit me or do something, your uncle s-send me to kill you, I didn't want to but he would torture me if I didn't and I wouldn't get the money, I need the money so I can live, I'm sorry ' Felix sobbed harder than before as he looked at Chan. Chan shifted, Felix immediately twitched expecting a slap and then to be beaten up and thrown away just like Big Boss's men do with him all the time, Felix was shaking so much he fell out the bed into the hard and expensive wood flooring. His back started hurting more but that didn't matter he started to run to the door. Chan was quick and caught him pulling him to his chest.

'Did uncle really say that?'

Felix couldn't even look in Chan's eyes as he nodded. Tears trailed down his cheeks again.

'I'm sorry, I'm going to leave you. I don't have the money for the medication but I will give it to you, I promise just please don't hurt me. I swear I will disappear and you don't have to see me again, I promise...' Felix cried into his hands, his knees starting to give in so he dropped to the floor. He winced in pain as he made contact with the floor. He felt exhausted but he would go to his apartment, he had to.

Chan quickly went down to Felix picking him up while whispering that he's not mad at him and that he is just a little shocked. Felix was still saying that he didn't need to be carried, he just wanted to go home but Chan insisted that he will have to stay here till his pain is gone. Felix being exhausted physically and emotionally he agreed. Chan carried Felix to his bed placing him gently on it.

'Let's sleep for now, we will talk tomorrow,ok?'

'It's ok' said Felix going down on the floor again, this time intentionally. Chan just watched the younger not understanding what he was doing.

'Good night.' Said Felix as he laid on the cold flooring, feeling his back and ribs ache.

'Felix I-' Chan was cut off by Felix.

'Oh sorry, I will go in the living room'

'No, don't do that. I was just wondering what you were doing on the floor?'

'Trying to sleep?' He said looking confused as well.

'Felix, come here' Chan said as he patted the space next to him.

'I know we've just met a few hours ago but please stay with me, I beg you'

'I don't know, Chan, I have nothing to offer you, I have no family, no friends, no money, I'm also a cat hybrid. I'm practically useless, better off dead.' He said as he slowly got on the bed, staying on the edge so he could occupy less space than he needed to.

'Don't say that, come closer, I want to hug you if that's ok'

Felix didn't say anything he just got closer to the older. Raising his head to look at Chan, he found the older's eyes comforting, this time Felix hugged Chan burying his face in Chan's chest and collarbone. Chan let out a chuckle, Felix feeling the vibration through his chest.

'So what's your answer?'

'If I'm not a bother, I want to stay.'

'That's perfect then, can we sleep like this? I want to cuddle you while sleeping.' Felix turned red feeling his ears burning.

'O-ok then' Chan only nodded in agreement, setting them down. Felix didn't know what to do so he just stayed still not even daring to look at Chan.

'Do you not want to cuddle?' Asked Chan as he propped his head up a little.

'I never did it before, I don't know what to do...' he looked down in embarrassment.

'Really? That's okay. Do you want to face me or not?'

'I want to see your face'

'Okay then, sweetheart, come closer'

Felix could only smile at the sudden nickname clinging to the older, as he snuggled into him.

'I'm sorry for everything'

'You didn't do anything, bub, it's all ok now, we are together and that's what matters in the end.'

'Aren't you mad at me? I got you in so much trouble...I feel bad, i didn't want to accept the task, but I didn't have another choice, they would torture me and beat me and then throw me out like a dog... I didn't want that to happen again, I'm sorry Chan, I really am...' Felix said looking up at Chan, putting a hand gently on Chan's cheek.

Chan put his hand above Felix's hand noticing how tiny it was.

'Don't worry, it's none of your fault, you were the victim and as soon as you get better we will go and confront uncle.'

'No, please don't do that, please. You will get in trouble for me and he will come for you. I don't want to lose you' Felix started tearing up again but now Chan was here for him. Chan held him closer whispering that everything is okay.

'Don't worry Felix, uncle will be punished for everything he has done to you. I can't believe he will actually do that to someone, how cruel can one be?'

'Thank you, Chan, for helping me and letting me stay with you.'

'Felix, no need to worry, okay? You're here with me from now on. Let's sleep, it's gotten late.'

'Thank you, Channie.....' Felix mumbled cutely as he drifted into the land of dreams but this time his dreams weren't nightmares this time, his dreams were full of Chan's face, laugh, touch.....he was feeling happy. Was he allowed to feel that way?

᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚

my ao3: Mrs_SnowPitch

my wattpad: ChanlixForMySoul

my masterlist: iza’s masterlist

[punkscowardschampions]

China & America

China: [After School] China: Where are you? China: You left your clothes on the bathroom floor and he's threatening to ✂ them up and she's just sitting there nodding America: ✂💳 after buying new 👌 China: Hilarious China: but you'd have to pry his wallet out his tight arse first and he's waving the ✂ about like right now America: 😐 America: terrorist negotiations are a no no China: Oh, believe me, if he knew you were on the 📞 he'd be straight on to shout at you himself America: if he wants me to walk around naked that's his damage America: she's guaranteed not sitting there 😶 when I do China: They're your best jeans China: you already don't have enough decent gear, you're seriously going to risk it? America: they'll be my best denim cut offs America: I don't come running for him China: Because it's not freezing 11 months and a half out of the year, Ricky China: I don't either but like fuck would I let him trash any of my stuff America: move us 🏝🧉 Gaz 👏 China: You want to fake as delusional as her? China: Fine, I'll be the only one living in reality, trying to talk some sense back into the woman and stopping him from ruining literally everything we've got America: back into? America: you've got jokes China: Please China: She was never this bad before China: or at least for this long, it'd be three weeks max of the lovesick bit and then she'd always come back and be mam again America: from your 🏰 that's the view China: There's nothing about this house that's castle like but he's definitely taken the only appeals it had away China: you miss having the parties and the hangs too America: they're still happening America: Gaz doesn't run the 🌏 America: can't roll out of 🛏 onto a dance floor but it's not 😢 China: But it was better when we could throw them China: and there was no rules around here, period China: You're just giving him reason to stay, the man's a raving lunatic, instead of saying no tah it's like his new cause to fix this family and save us both China: Must've been a fucking general in a past life America: there still aren't, his don't count America: & you're not giving him a reason to fucking go so 🤫 China: You say that but any time we have to be here China: and we do, at least some of the time, we can't do what we always did before and he's calling the shots China: I'm trying to figure out what the hell that would look like, what are you doing? America: watch me America: I'll throw a party right now China: Really China: Good luck with that China: Jesus, he'll lock you up, you know he will, if he doesn't do worse beforehand America: What's Daddy Garry gonna do? Hit me? America: They'd lock him up America: & his head'll 🤯 before mine does China: You don't remember some of the boyfriends she's had China: it's not funny, for fuck's sake China: I want my life back America: the trauma hasn't run deep enough to give me memory loss & you're not old enough to play that card America: it can be anything I want, it's my life America: I remember when we had live laugh love on the kitchen wall China: You know what? China: Let him rip up all your sketty clothes China: you're being selfish, why should I help you America: now the 👖 don't know whose side you're on America: they were THE BEST when you wanted me to come back China: I'm on the side of this family China: but you only care about yourself, apparently America: you're on your own side America: you care about having your life back, not what mine looks like China: I'm the one here arguing with him for your stuff right now China: and I just want things back how they were, for all of us China: him gone and her like an actual person with thoughts and emotions about anything that ain't what he wants America: you said yourself he won't leave if I act any kind of way America: he's crusading America: & I don't look old enough to get high enough to do a mam impression America: what do you fucking expect me to do, Chi? China: Help me work this out! China: Together China: you're still here, you don't get to wash your hands of it and ignore it like Zsa does because it doesn't really matter to her China: as long as he isn't hitting any of us and maybe even then, who the fuck knows with her America: don't ! at me America: if it were that simple, togetherness could get fucked China: It ain't, that's the whole problem and what no one else seems to grasp right now China: we act up, he's got more cause to stay and get progressively worse until we can't do anything and go anywhere China: we do what he wants and stay in line, he'll probably get such a boner he'll try to marry her and adopt us America: the audacity of me taking a 🚿 in my own home China: I know China: why is he not telling her to do more washing? America: be a controlling fuckwit but make it useful America: you could be wayyyyyyyy more productive with this, sir China: I'm not saying that's right either but it's all about how WE have no respect China: she's stopped doing anything that isn't doing her 💅💄👗 for him and we're meant to do it all, apparently America: Mam has respect for his 💪🍆🍑 China: 🤮 China: It goes without saying, but he's literally fuck ugly America: but I DEMAND it's said America: he needs to know on the regs China: He's got this one wrinkle on his forehead that's so deep I reckon it could hold a ✎ China: I hate him America: if you put your 💄 in there next time he's 😪💻 , I'll let you use a DIFFERENT ONE on me China: Alright China: I'll use one of hers America: would she end it if he had 0 hair? America: or eyebrows China: His hairline is dead and she acts like she don't notice China: It's like a spell, or something America: I know someone who'd come over for a face tattoo America: or 🍆🍑 if that's all she cares about China: You do not China: and he doesn't have enough of either to cover, shh America: I do TOO China: Who? America: Si is bored enough without your parties he bought a tattoo gun online China: Oh God China: do not do it he'll be so bad, never mind the hepatitis America: & he's dyslexic China: 😂 China: I can't wait to see what bullshit he decides to misspell on himself then America: [sends her some pics because imagine] China: He's so lame China: I can't believe Gary has wrecked my chance with Jake America: his da is a fuckwit too you'd think he'd be more understanding China: like I wanna tell him anything about this China: it's shaming enough we can't throw the parties no more and everyone knows why America: he's part of the everyone, he already knows China: doesn't mean I want to go and cry about it China: I've got some pride, thank you America: he should have some America: never throws a party at his own house China: That was one of the only things we had going for us America: weakkk America: you have things going for you, ask mam when she recovers from this illness China: Okay, the main thing China: but he's going to start going out with Lucie now instead, I know it America: Lucie's been out with half his friends before him America: not a ringing endorsement, like China: Yeah, she's a right slag, and she'll do it anywhere so she don't even need the free house America: get nan out of hers, she'd do it for the sake of your love life China: We have bigger problems China: sort that one and the rest will fall back into place, yeah America: biggest problem that we don't know how to sort it America: I'll get him to hurt me 🚨🚔 we're almost there China: That's not a solution China: and they won't do fuck all about it until it's serious China: too serious to control America: is if it works America: we know he wants to throw me out the window with the 👖 America: & maybe all the boys will think I'm into some hardcore bdsm shit China: Shut up you don't know anything about that America: 👌 Jake's vanilla that's a shame China: You're 12 and that's not the kind of reputation you want or are gonna have China: that's for girls like Lucie who have fuck all else to offer so they have to go hard with that degrading shit America: told you there was more on offer from us than a free house 😛 America: but stop walking into all my traps that easy China: You're such a dick 🙄😏 China: I didn't mean that was all but fucking hell, it was clearly a big draw China: so many people are airing me right now America: you know who doesn't care about parties? America: the people you air China: Who??? America: [a list which obvs includes Bobby and Libi on it and probably Beck as well] China: So you're just going to list every random loser in school for what? America: 😐 America: & you're gonna kid yourself that there's not at least 3 boys on there hotter than Jake America: get out of your fucking ⬛ China: it's not JUST about hot though, is it China: it's all the rest America: what else has Jake got? China: He's cool America: he's not cool enough to throw a party for you America: you're bored China: I am bored right now America: What's the point of Gaz if he doesn't take her anywhere anymore? America: why's she not bored? China: Yeah get this China: they're talking about redecorating America: what.the.fuck. China: I know China: it's looked like this our entire lives because she can't afford it China: now he thinks he can come in and whitewash everything America: remember when that one before offered to put up a roll of wallpaper and she looked at him like he said he wanted to beat you to death with it America: she'd let Gary kill us China: say goodbye to live laugh love China: it'll be RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT America: he needs to fuck off or I am China: Where to China: no one's got a sofa comfy enough or the desire to do any more than offer a night America: I know plenty of people I can get to desire me China: 🖕 China: not falling for it again so soon America: no 🕷🕸 America: they're not people I want, I didn't say that China: That's not a solution, again China: this is our house China: and our mam China: we need to sort it America: I know China: I can't think around them though China: I need to get out America: meet me [wherever the hell she is rn] China: Okay China: as I have nowhere else to be rn America: bring me a jacket China: assuming you've got one left after his tantrum China: that WILL be resumed, when you're relocated 🙄 America: if he's that desperate to text me China: He's that desperate to shout 'til he looks like a 🍅 America: 😋🤤 China: If you liked it or him at all, you'd be here America: I'm waiting here for you America: with ☕ China: I'm on my way America: I'll text Jake to be here & 🏃👌 China: You will not America: you wanna see him & you're not gonna hit send China: Because I have dignity, I don't know why that's a foreign concept to you China: and I don't even want to see him America: you do, you're losing it that he doesn't wanna see you China: Don't be dramatic on my behalf China: and getting my little sister to beg for me, that's hardly going to win anyone over America: I was gonna pretend to be you China: Ha! China: I'd love to see that, not America: party trick America: if we ever have one again China: If anyone wants to come by the time we've worked this out, it'll be a miracle America: it is getting 🥱 China: Seriously China: not getting aired for no reason America: you should listen to me about nan America: have one there China: The only person who would have a party at their nans house is Libi Foley America: it is mint there China: 🙄 America: it is China: Why? She got a trampoline? 👌 America: getting low if you're getting jealous America: [but whatever pics or vids we have from being there however many times we have like] China: I don't know what you reckon is cool in [whatever year they're in] these days America: her 🏠 America: some of her friends America: but I think I scared her off China: Well forget her China: She thinks she's something special but she's so not America: you're not describing her China: Sure China: If she's making you feel shitty she's hardly the 😇 everyone thinks she is America: how did you twist it to be her fault from what I said? America: 🤯 China: You aren't scary, she can't hang America: she didn't have you green lighting her on what cool is America: that's why I can China: She's super immature America: that shit must fly cos she's super well liked too China: With other people on your list, maybe America: you know she's got friends on friends, we don't have to downplay it America: it's not gonna make us feel a new way about any of the 💩 going on China: Literally why are we talking about her China: I've got so much more on my mind America: You brought her up to veto nan's house as a party place America: cos you don't want her to hate you too China: It isn't a party place, she's an old lady China: that would be so lame China: she doesn't have a boyfriend, where are we sending her? America: bingo America: use Zsa's flat then, she has a boyfriend, he's all she ever talks about China: Her tiny one bed China: I could have a few main people, potentially America: Princess and the pea isn't a sexy story America: if you're gonna kick it like that with Jake he will fuck Lucie in the PE block China: That's his prerogative if he wants to catch herpes America: everything doesn't have to be perfect America: you 🔊 like Gary China: If Asia is going to stop talking to me, it needs to at least be worth it America: you could trash the place and she'd think she did it 🔎 for her fake gucci belt China: 🙄 China: at least we don't have to worry about her man lasting America: ✂️💖 China: I don't know why they do it America: what are you doing with Jake? China: I'm not China: not like them America: I don't believe you China: Well first off, he's actually decent looking and cool China: and that's the difference China: Gary isn't, and whatshisname isn't either China: and I'm not throwing myself at him America: he isn't cool to me America: if it was so different you'd care about that China: How is he not? America: 🤡 China: What the hell does that mean? America: he thinks he's funny and he's not China: You don't have to think he is China: you're not interested and he's not interested in you China: that's a bit different to Gary fucking up our lives and taking over our mam America: he doesn't need to talk about me ever then China: I'm sure he won't...? America: 😐 China: He's not talking about either of us right now America: 🎊🎉 China: Happy for you America: I'd be happy for you if you used the Gary situation to get a boyfriend who's less of a dick China: Like who? China: [list boys from that list] China: LOL America: 🖕 America: [because we know the boy she likes is on that list honey] China: Who do you fancy then? America: dream on, shady bitch America: I'm not revealing my secrets now China: 😂 China: Omg go on China: I'll work it out America: if Gaz keeps treating me like a little girl without the choking, spitting in my mouth or giving me euros to spend, it's not gonna matter America: he'll think I'm immature China: You're such a dick China: but he's older then China: narrows it down America: as old as you, not as old as daddy Gary China: Well I can work out who it isn't then America: you've got other shit to prioritise China: You should get a boyfriend your own age America: I'm not getting one China: When you do, then America: when I do I won't be doing a poll of our year America: he's fun that's why I like him America: the 2 years aren't what's making me 🤤 China: What's fun mean America: he can hang China: I know who it is America: happy for you China: He's okay, I guess China: if you like that sort of thing America: what the hell does that mean? China: He's a bit China: but if you like him America: a bit? China: Annoying China: but you don't have to see him around school America: I thought you had a real concern! China: I'm not mam, we've still got one China: I just don't think he's cute but he's not like, the worst China: I don't know why he hangs around with who he does though, maybe he's weird America: Jake is who you think is cute & cool so 🤫 China: He's the hottest boy in my year China: who isn't like, the preppy sporty type America: & he acts like it America: talking down to everyone China: You're dramatic America: 😐 America: he is, behaving like 👑 China: You're acting like I'm married to him, for starters China: we were never even officially going out America: cos he wants to fuck around & find out who else is 🤤 China: He can do what he likes America: with Lucie & you won't care at.all. China: 🖕 America: me getting 🍆 could bring mam out of her coma China: If she finds out before Gary China: that might actually be a decent way to look into it China: 'cos clearly, 👑 has failed to save us all America: 👌 I'll do what I can China: all you have to do is heavily hint you are, in the 0.2 milliseconds he leaves her alone America: I'll stand on the 🚽 while she's 🛁 China: Take a piss test China: that should trigger the fear response America: they're expensive America: be going in Gaz's wallet again China: nah, you can get them for a euro in dealz China: market for the skanky slags like Lucie, duh America: I'll go after school tomorrow, he won't be leaving her alone tonight after ✂👖 China: Ew China: I'm definitely finding somewhere else to be America: seconded China: This is ridiculous China: Nan's going to get fed up of us crashing at hers America: that day came a month in China: but like, fed up to the point he'll talk her out of letting us because we should 'be at home' or whatever the fuck China: 🕠 running out America: What a flirty little game of 🐈 & 🐁 America: game on, Gaz China: 🙄 China: We've got no choice so, yeah America: Where are you gonna go? China: 🤷 China: I don't know America: come with me China: Where are you going? America: When you've got nowhere else, 3rd degree questioning's pointless China: Why is it hard to answer a question? America: I don't have an answer yet China: Right China: well, whatever then America: whatever yes or whatever no? China: So you need a dedicated answer, do you? China: You invited me, shouldn't make any difference if I do or don't come, as you've got no idea where you're going America: & you think my pretend babydaddy is annoying China: He very literally is China: if you wanna talk about thinking you're funny, Jesus America: he has a basis for it America: he's got jokes that aren't about what every girl at school looks like China: He's got adhd China: I think America: When he said he was on 💊s not what I thought he meant China: He must have it bad he's so twitchy still China: and he never shuts up China: which is probably why he's friends with the deaf kid America: I take it back, you and Jake are well suited 🤡 China: What? That's not a joke China: it just makes literal sense China: he's so loud America: You're being a dick China: Oh I am not China: it's not like I'm saying it to his face America: you know I like his face & you're saying it to me China: Well you know I like Jake and you're being a dick about him so in that case, we'd be even America: he can help having a shitty personality, that's not the same as an adhd diagnosis China: okay then China: an excuse to have prescribed speed America: what's your excuse for not calling the deaf kid by his name? China: Why does it matter? China: You knew who I meant America: it matters that you're back in your 🏰 China: 🙄 Shut up China: again, not talking to him, just you America: no shit, you don't talk to anyone outside of your ⬛ America: just me China: We're sisters so China: we have to talk, so sorry America: I know how to do a smoky eye & take a drink, that's your main criteria for what a cool girl is China: You wish America: it's not something I'm prioritising pre or post Gary America: you're stuck with me anyway China: And you're stuck with me China: at the minute, that's basically all we've got China: Zsa is literally not taking it in, no surprise there China: and nan is drinking the kool-aid on him now so America: I'll bring mam back with my 🤰 it'll be fine China: **fake 🤰 America: I assumed that was clear cos of having no real 🍆 inside of me before tomorrow America: Gary probably doesn't want to kiss & make up like that, I'm only 12 China: What do you mean tomorrow? America: assuming I do the test in front of her then China: Don't require you to actually do the deed, idiot China: s'all fake, we don't need you to go have a fake abortion, Jesus America: I'm just saying we don't need to waste time typing out a distinction like **fake when it's obvious China: Don't be a twat, I was just saying China: you're so bloody pedantic today, my God America: Don't be putting some kind of tempting fate 🤰 hex on me before I've even done anything with any boys China: Don't be a little slag and nothing will happen China: not going to be me or fate doing anything about it, you're in control America: right now Gary is America: 🚫🍆 China: It's about more than that America: I know China: You don't get it America: What don't I get? China: I've lost loads of friends China: maybe all of them America: you'll get them back the parties are America: when* China: yeah America: I'm fixing it China: **WE are America: did you save my 👖? China: Yea China: I put a load of washing on China: so now you're gonna owe me a thank you China: didn't know what else to do, he likes pitting us against each other I reckon America: I bought you ☕ ungrateful bitch China: UM, I meant you're going to owe me a grovelling thank you arselick because Gary says so China: I'm behaving and you're not, right now, cheeky cow China: anyway, I'm nearly there so don't fucking bin it America: I'll put washing on when my newborn is sleeping China: Fucking hell 😂 China: It's tragic, isn't it China: I can't think of anything more tragic China: poor mam China: poor nan America: how old do you have to be before they let you get sterilised? China: Oh, so old China: tell 'em you want to live off the state forever and have 14 of 'em and maybe they'll change their fucking mind America: Gary would do it for me if he was any fucking use China: If you ever really get pregnant, the botched abortion would do it America: I'll pitch the idea to my 1st boyfriend China: Good luck America: we're in the right place 🍀 China: Are we? China: Doesn't feel like it America: for a backstreet foetus killing scheme anyway China: Whatever brightside, I guess America: you sound as tired as I feel America: how early did he wake you? I think it was still fully dark out China: I swear, only solid he's done me China: loads of time to do a full hair and make-up routine America: What classes do you even have with Jake? Like 2 China: Oh, so now just 'cos I don't want to look like a bag of shit that's all about him too? China: Are you sure YOU aren't like them? China: Ugh America: you don't look like 💩 America: it's about him if you suddenly think you do China: I don't think that I just China: I'm not winning anyone back 'round if I do America: it's about the lack of parental supervision not your lack of split ends America: on every level you know that China: It is not China: that's a big part of it, but it is not all of it America: if it's not all of it where are they all? China: There's plenty of boys who care about pretty China: even if Jake isn't one of them China: if I have a desirable boyfriend, that's fucking something America: Jake does care about pretty, that's his main priority America: & why he's a dick to me China: You should've said China: you fancy him America: I'd fuck Gary before him, you delusional cow China: Ha, okay China: you're the one who's so hung up on how he treats you China: I'm so sorry he doesn't fancy you back but I'm actually not because you know I like him America: cos I want you to give a shit that your not boyfriend is like bullying me China: Wow, bullying now, really? America: you're asking for me to throw this ☕ at you China: I won't even come if you're going to be this China: melodramatic China: what do you mean bullying you? America: I mean every party you've thrown he's said something unnecessary to me China: Can you be more specific or America: can you not take my fucking word for it? China: Well not really China: like, if he's just made some passing comments it's not really bullying, is it America: 😐 America: 👌 make excuses for him & keep telling me you're doing things different China: For God's sake China: since when are you so sensitive? America: I've kept my mouth shut until literally now China: As you said, literally, he's joking America: I'm tired & I've typed the name Jake more times than I've ever wanted to China: You can't just accuse people of shit they haven't done China: if it was that simple, we'd say Gary was touching us and ta-da, problem solved America: I'll go down that route if the 🤰 fails China: It's not a fucking joke China: fuck this America: it is if you think I'm living like this for the next 6 years minimum China: You think 4 makes it any more palatable? America: telling a lie to get rid of him is the least of what I'm prepared to do China: I can't think straight right now China: save your ☕ I'm gonna go somewhere else America: Chi China: It's fine America: you're basically here China: I'm going China: I've got plans now America: you do not China: I do now America: with who? China: None of your business America: with who China: Who do you think China: happy now? America: what.the.fuck. China: Leave it alone America: Have you been talking to him all along? China: No, actually China: though I'm sure you won't believe me America: can't believe a word any of you say America: I hope he gives you herpes China: Nice America: You're not, why should I? China: You started this China: and for your information, I've never slept with him, or anyone else America: I did NOT China: then you got in my head America: not on purpose China: I've got my own life America: that wasn't in question China: I don't need your pity America: I don't feel sorry for you China: Good America: I'm fine too, thanks for asking China: You've got friends, who don't just use you for parties China: as you've been so keen to rub in America: & you're calling me over sensitive China: Joke all you lie China: k* America: you think Jake's are better China: Yeah, I do America: 👌🍆😗 China: Jealous much America: LOL China: Enjoy pining after Tweak America: 🖕 China: Enjoy your evening, that's my plan America: talk yourself into it harder America: maybe you will China: 👌🍆😗 America: 🤮🤮🤮 China: I'm not faking a pregnancy America: Lucie's not fake swallowing China: Ugly girls have more to prove America: you 🔊 like Jake America: he'll be excited as hell China: yeah he will America: 🎊🎉 he can stop trying to suck his own dick 🥳 China: you're just a kid China: let me know where you end up, Zsa's or nan's China: and I'll take the other 👌 America: you can take either cos I'm doing neither China: You know what, fine China: I shouldn't be the one doing this America: What this do you mean? Whoring yourself out to Jake or pretending you care what I'm going to do China: Looking after you China: are any of them in your messages? doubt it China: he's got no right and he goes too far but at least he'll be giving a shit where you are America: I don't need tabs kept on me, I'm going to MJ's not to 🍆 or 💊💉 China: 👍 America: I had a feeling Gaz wouldn't be stepping up to make 🍝 China: I can thank him for the diet too America: he'll be thrilled to hear about the 🍆😗 part of it China: I'm not planning to regale him with it China: 'cos not tempting an assault tah America: Mam & Zsa will have more useful tips China: I don't need them China: thank God America: just Jake telling you what he likes 💖 China: Piss off America: 🏰👑💖 China: Yeah, really feel it America: he'll make you feel really good about yourself China: What would you know about it, Ricky? America: it's what you want him for, I know that China: Why wouldn't I want that? China: Just because you've not had it ever America: Why can't you get it from someone else? China: Because I like Jake China: end of America: 😐 China: and every girl but you does too America: [lists all the girls that don't aka the lesbians, other girls he has shaded and girls like libi who are shamelessly in love with someone else/have boyfriends they care about even a little bit] China: 🙄🙄 China: You've got too much time on your hands China: not going to list every girl that does China: you know who I meant and that it's true America: I just spent a decade I won't get back waiting for you China: I wasn't about to come to MJ's and beg for food with you so America: I didn't invite you there, it's where I'm going now since you're on a Jake's jizz diet China: Don't be gross America: It's you who likes him 🤢 China: It's you who keeps talking about his dick China: like, stop America: I'm desensitising you America: so you can bear to look at & touch it China: I don't need that America: then this is me 🤫 China: 👍 China: Thanks China: Guess I'll see you in school tomorrow, or just before, pretending we've been 🛏 or purposely showing we're just coming in China: who knows what will be more effective in the AM America: you do one, I'll try the other China: Yeah China: know which one you'd prefer China: I'm not playing nice so you don't have to, like I always have America: you weren't playing when it was just you & mammy America: neither was I China: She was fun China: before America: I know China: What's not to like America: as her favourite, you would say that China: 🙄 America: & it doesn't matter who she was America: she's a zombie now China: we'll get her back America: What's the cure for swallowing Gary's bodily fluids? China: She's had worse China: equally as bad America: built up immunity China: There's no immunity to shitty men America: as you've proven China: pot kettle America: I don't like Jake, you're deluded China: I wasn't talking about him, moron America: 🖕 China: No, he seems like SUCH a cool, chill guy America: you'd be a shady bitch whatever you think he's like cos you're mad I don't wanna hop on Jake's 🍆 China: Yeah, SO mad China: you're twisted China: and delusional if you think it'd be any kind of competition America: you admitted you want me to be jealous & that his appeal is everyone likes him so yeah America: your priorities are twisted China: When did I? America: read any of this chat back China: 👍 Good one China: I really don't care what you think China: your taste is clearly trash America: I'd follow your ☕ into the bin but it'll make me late for 🍝 China: 😱 China: Can't have that China: I'm waiting for my bus, talk later America: 👋

[roboromantic]

these past few days have been So Much. Not in a bad way or anything but im just Exhausted

I finally got more or less settled into the sweets position but then to give me more hours (which I absolutely do not mind) I started learning the kneading stuff today (harder than it looked!) It's also 7-10 (for now? might be longer shifts once I'm used to the position, idk) instead of 4-10 so I mean that's fine, I'll take a couple more hours of sleep, but it kinda threw me off the groove that I'd barely gotten into

I've also had to get stuff ready for the consignment sale; I finally got everything priced and tagged and dropped off yesterday after work since it's very conveniently located on the way home. Tomorrow the sellers get to shop first and I was thinking I might need to go home, shower and change, and then drive all the way back out there to shop, but turns out it's not nearly as messy as making the sweets so I should be fine to drop by on my way home. I'm not really gonna be there all that long anyway — probably just gonna check out the Transformers and leave. Maybe shelving? idk they have a LOT of shit

and THEN my dad proposed to his girlfriend and the tentative date for the wedding is the day before my birthday which I mean. I don't super care about that overlap but it's just. basically that's the deadline for my brother and I to Get Out. and I mean, my brother has a decent amount in savings and now that I'm working I can save up for a bit but neither of us want to deal with renting an apartment but I ain't making enough to be even be able to afford a 2 bedroom apartment, so he's gonna have to find a job and/or I'm gonna have to find a second job (and IWouldPreferNotTo.jpg) and I'm Very stressed about this

and I mean my dad's been very generous by allowing us to live here rent-free for this long! I can't exactly complain about him wanting us to leave but. more time to save up and look around woulda been Great. like I've never rented an apartment so I'm not 100% sure on the timeframe for that but doesn't it generally take at least a couple months to find a place and get through all the red tape n shit

also my dad like just helped his fiancée move so. I think the plan is to sell this place and he's gonna move in with her? I'd have to ask him about that. idk. I'm very happy for him but also having to find housing at such short notice with next to no money is WILDLY stressful and I mean. I kinda wanted to have SOME disposable income

anyway. The kneading job isn't that difficult and I've only got the one other 3-hour shift tomorrow before I'm done for the week. The hard part of the consignment sale is done, all I gotta do is actually shop tomorrow. So I've got a long weekend to finally hopefully finish cleaning out my room; once I'm done with that and listing stuff on ebay I should be good to relax for a while and hopefully be able to hang out on Discord again

and like. I enjoy gaming and I'll have fun doing it, but it is still kind of a little stressful to have my relaxing activity be disrupted by worrying about getting everything I want from a video game's season before it ends :/ . I should have plenty of time to finish the stuff I wanna do for Destiny and Fall Guys but the latter is kind of a pain to grind. I really want the Mecha Godzilla costume and in-game currency to buy the next battlepass for free though so. At least that one I can do while lying in bed listening to a podcast

and like there's SO MUCH I wanna do and I was kinda hoping that having a job would alleviate some stress so I could work on those — and I mean, it's definitely reduced it — but I think until my brother has a source of income or I suddenly get a bunch of money/a free house somehow I'm still gonna be stressed

[thanakite]

The price of an actually decent laptop that at minimum has the potential to last longer is so fucking irritating to me

The only "affordable" laptops these days seem to be Chromebooks which can be barely used if you ask me as you are limited to having to put everything into a Google drive and largely cannot install new software onto it or anything so unless you do basically nothing on your computer it is not enough for you (plus you're handing even more of your soul to Google if that's a thing that bothers you)

Like I was reading through some lists lately and any actually good laptop is going to be $1000+ and that isn't including the price of some of the things you have to add to them

You can get some moderately okay laptops for $500-$800 (still an enormous expense for many), but realistically these are still not that great, durability is an issue and one wrong move could leave you fucked or at minimum dealing with something irritating until you can afford a new one, a lot of laptops are being made with less and less USB ports (some are apparently even shifting to having USB-C charging ports which is an issue because while we do need to be better about universal chargers laptops should have a separate set universal charger from a phone especially if the laptop in question is going to be used to run programs that will rapidly drain the battery, as I have literally already had times where my charger was slow enough that playing an app drained it while it was plugged in and needed a chunk of time before it was ready again which isn't going to translate well for people who need to do things like that on their laptop for long periods), they have much less RAM, and the base level storage can be an issue if you need a lot of software or have a large number of big files

None of this even addresses that most laptops now no longer come with CD players so if you want to use one you have to buy a portable one that connects to computers, and then use a USB port (if you even have one since many Chromebooks don't have any) and then you can use it, that Bluetooth devices are/can be spotty in their connectability and die much faster than other others that connect whether wired or wirelessly through a USB port, that if you have to pay to store all of your shit in Google Photos then you are essentially renting storage for your laptop from the people who removed it as an option (can still be said if you use another laptop and or storage brand) , and so much else

Like, I cannot use a desktop computer because of chronic conditions that prevent me from being upright for extended periods, I have to have a laptop, and many others are also in the "Can't reasonably use a desktop computer" boat for a variety of reasons (a major part of which can in fact be space as the housing market continues to limit how much space a person can afford to a severe degree and also portability as you'd either have to be completely fine not being able to take it places or become heavily reliant on a method to move everything on your computer around in a portable manner without just getting a laptop too)

This is a huge issue even if you don't think it is, as society is moving more and more into online spaces but actually being able to afford a laptop that suits your needs (and could also help you more long term) is behind a paywall to keep people poor

It reminds me of the boot issue, where a richer person can afford to buy the $200 boots for work they are doing and it will last them a very long time (more than paying for themselves in the end) while a poorer person might only be able to afford the $20-$50 ones that they have to replace every year (or every 6 months or whatever). This is it on a bigger scale, a richer person can afford the $1500 laptop up front and it can last them a long time (still not incredibly long since planned obsolescence is a bitch) and do everything they want while a poorer person might only be able to afford the $800 laptop and can do most of what they want and a much poorer person will have to scrimp and save to even hope to afford the cheap Chromebooks which will not do most of what they want and will continually cost them money until it breaks after a year or 2 (like maximum) and they are forced to buy a new one

Makes me so frustrated