#I don't want to anymore
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I just took a break from the sixty five thousand hours of I work I need to get done today to...fold laundry. That was my break. I. folded. laundry.
This is peak adulting and I really hate it here.
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I don't want to live like this anymore. It's about half past ten and my day already feels ruined. I feel so miserable that my sadness is way past the point of shedding tears over it. I'm so exhausted. I wanna leave.
#tbd#tw parents#i can't deal with this for much longer#the explosive mood swings#the anger#the judgement#constantly feeling on edge and being so exhausted i just wanna sleep the day away#i don't want to anymore#personal
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Why am I still sad? Why do I keep crying? I'm alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. That's never going to change. This void will never go away
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Didn't even get an interview at the place I applied to 😔
I also just. Don't wanna find a job. All local jobs suck and they're all about data and social media and god knows what and I'm just. So over life! Don't get me wrong, I was before this, but it doesn't help and I'm tired and done!!!
#Nothing ever pans out in my favour babes this life hates me#I'm exhausted I can't do it anymore#I don't WANT to anymore#Fuck life fuck everything im so unhappy there's nothing to live for#Depression tw#Suicidal ideation tw
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my goals for the upcoming year are to work towards becoming a person i want to be, appearance-wise, personality wise, my living space, just... anything that makes me actually want to be alive and not hate myself lol
and then also to be more creative. I want to draw more, even if it's just small silly stuff. I want to paint more and maybe actually show people my paintings LOL craft more, be more adventurous with my projects, just. yeah LOL
i feel like both of these things are big steps to like. actually wanting to live my life lol
#after spending the last year in fight or flight mode#i don't want to anymore#i'm not happy with where i am at all#like in any way shape or form#i'm sad uncomfortable and ashamed all the time#and it's tiring#i just want to be happy tbh#that's my goal for the next eyar#balverine rambles
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why does T gel SMELL SO BAD
I don't mean when it comes out of the packet/tube/pump, I like the smell when I just put it in my hand. I mean after I rub it in and let it sit. It smells SO SO SO BAD. That smell hit my stomach and almost kill me type bad. Omg, I don't want to put this on my shoulders anymore
#I cant fucking turn my head without smelling it#I just woke up from a nap too#It says to put it on my shoulders/upper arm#I don't want to anymore#can I please put it on my thighs again#testosterone#testosterone gel#ftm hrt
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he's so crazy we can't take him anywhere 😭🤣
#how atlus felt making the black mask design by far the most visually disturbing horrific thing witnessed by human eyes#what the FUCK is he wearing. what is that fucking OIL SPILL#didnt even BOTHER looking up a reference bc it was so hideous i didnt want to see it again.#“a persona users outfit reflects their desires and the manifestation of their persona” IS LOKI SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING ZEBRA??????????????#I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY#ONLY GOOD THING ABT HIS OUTFIT IS THE SEXY SERRATED SWORD THAT COMES WITH IT#anyway i genuinely dont give a fuck if this isnt the canon design i refuse to draw that one#there is no way this bitch was the one behind all the mental shutdowns he looks like he cant even hold a sword 😭😭 stupid femboy twink😭😭#anyway i digress i loved watching his sanity rapidly deteriorate as he got the deer in headlights stare when he looked at you#anyway akechi flopped with this one 0/10 don't come back like this again#imagine dying in this fit not even the flames of hell would burn hotter than my unadultered rage 💀💀#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#akechi goro#lotus draws
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I hate how fandom has become "if you haven't created anything in this very specific time frame after the release of the show/movie, everyone will have moved on"
And call me old fashioned, but that's just not me. I sometimes take ages to create and publish. And I will love a show or movie for such a long time (years, babes, years) that I just can't relate to the fast consumerism that's going on.
Because, let's be real, it can get really lonely in a fandom if most have simply moved on to the next shiny thing. Is what's created less worth, just because it was created outside the hype? Why is it such a taboo for this new fandom generation to love an old or "late" fic or art?
It's so tiring and I'm too old for the 30-seconds-hype-tiktok-shit. Just tired. So, so tired.
#semi rant#cry into the void#and no i'm not shaming young ppl in general#it's this new wave of people entering fandom which can happen at any age lbr#and I don't understand them nor do I want to atp#if you're wondering why you can't rb anymore: I switched it off bcuz people can't fucking read and piss me off with their dumb additions
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gimme 5 seasons of murder mysteries in coruscant rn Disney. or else.
#commander fox#commander thorn#idk what hound's tag is 🫠#also hehe grizzer 💗💗💗#take it I don't want to look at it anymore my eyes are burning and it's 4AM#star wars#star wars fanart#art#coruscant guard#the clone wars#clone troopers#aviiart
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luffy's n1 fans
#i don't want to work on this anymore#one piece#straw hat crew#straw hat pirates#roronoa zoro#nami#usopp#sanji#chopper#nico robin#franky#brook#jinbe#tin art
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How much longer 'til your luck runs out?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Aaargh...I have so many thoughts about this scene.#This is a hard goodbye. I'm not your burden to bear. Not anymore.#This is the culmination of years of miscommunication. There was so much love there. They trusted each other with everything once.#I think it is easy to hear the anger in JC's voice and consider him the aggressor in this but listen to the words not the tone.#It is anger yes - but it is an anger born out of love.#Jiang Cheng wanted him to live - damn the rest of the world to hell if that's what it took. And Wei Wuxian chose strangers over him.#Sometimes two people who once flourished together become each other's worst wounds.#A goodbye to someone you once would have done anything for is a wound you don't easily recover from.#Jiang Cheng could have stood at Wei Wuxian's side and joined him. Consider though; as a sect leader his life is not his own anymore.#JC cannot just abandon the fledgling New Yunmeng Jiang without also dooming people.#And that is the lynch pin of it all. Both of them are trapped by duty. And the older they got the more tangled the web became.#The song I linked (Hi Epic fans) is such a good JC and WWX song that doesn't fit this scene exactly#But it does fit *them*. The words of warning that go dismissed. The Tactical Genius who continues to press on.#The seeds of doubt that grow louder until they creep towards mutiny. Ultimatly this *is* a mutiny! It *is* betrayal!#'You rely on wit and people die by it'. Is that not Wei Wuxian?#Just smashing my brainworms together over here. Don't mind me.
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HYUNJIN | "ATE" JACKET MAKING
#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#stray kids#skz#bystay#createskz#staysource#a9gifs#*gif#*ccarly#*hyunjin#*carly:hyunjin#me deciding i don't like the sharpening on these after i've gotten 80% thru coloring and can't go back anymore#whatever .#i want to gif more of this but also i don't if u know what i mean. KLJDLKFLSKGSD#this was the most important part to me we'll see if u get another set from me#*hits
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It's so hard to cook when nothing you have actually sounds appetizing to eat and it's so hard to buy ingredients and food to eat that is yummy to eat when all the good stuff costs so much and it's so hard to be creative and put effort into stretching your money when you're so tired and hungry and-
#hi it's me#tired. hungry. unmedicated. poor.#it's a cycle and i just want some good food dang it#like good soup#or chili#or casserole#or a pot roast#but meat is so expensive and gas to get to the store is so expensive and all i have are packs of ramen#which would be fine for me but i have to cook for my family and my dad complains when we don't eat a meal with meat#so we're going to have freezer fish. or meatloaf. or lasagna. again.#im just so tired of cooking for everyone else and never myself#i don't want to anymore#vent post#ignore me
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regina spektor is a violent zionist, but i don't think it's constructive or honest at all for people to be like "well her art was always bad anyway." some terrible people have made great art. This idea that artists with unsavory morals can't make good art (1) only feeds into some people's mindset that if they dislike something, that MUST mean there is something ideologically wrong with it, and (2) some people then take longer to realize the true colors of their favorite artists because... good artists can't be ethically bad right?? and so they hang on to their faves and pretend they are so righteous and defend their every move when sometimes. sometimes you just gotta accept that your favorite art was made by somebody you don't agree with, and you have to identify how much you are willing to support someone like that and what lines you have that can't be crossed
#personally i've stopped streaming regina spektor because i don't want her to financially gain from my support#and i also can't get myself to listen anymore to her music that i've already previously purchased just bc i've been so turned off by her#like as a person#but she's had some bangers and i mourn for them#on a smaller scale like. doja cat for example. love her art. not sure about her as a person#but it hasnt crossed the line for me personally and so i continue to listen to her music#somebody shut me up
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Pokemon AU my absolute beloved 🙏🙏
(Translation for Ford's cursive/complete image description in the ALT text ❤️)
Made a companion piece to this!! See it here ❤️
#yeah i drew this instead of literally anything else i should be drawing#i love pokemon AUs guys i know there are already some in this fandom but i wanted to contribute 😭#I'm rewatching pokemon rn and I really couldn't help myself#cole's art#gravity falls#art#grunkle stan#stanley pines#grunkle ford#ford pines#mullet stan#pokemon#pokemon au#image description in alt#🙏#it feels wrong not to draw Stan with wolf ears that's literally the only way i draw him anymore 😭#I don't draw ford enough sorry he looks weird 😢#gravity falls pokémon au
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