#I don't understand where this anon is coming from

[dykedvonte]

One of my mutuals opinions is the "bro code" thing, that Curly is one of those guys who wouldn't care about the victim because the perpetrator is his friend and I'm really banging my head on the wall like that other anon. I've only played through the game once but Curly's behaviour/reactions etc read completely different from the "bro code" thing and I have to wonder if my mutual and I even played the same game.. like the constant digs at him from Jimmy, his body language in his face reveal and so on like you mentioned in your post. While this game is a little different obviously, it kind of reminded of a point in Alice Madness Returns that makes it very clear that Alice's pain blinded her to the abuse of the other children and her failure to act earlier because of it. Curly is guilty of a similar inaction but it doesn't change the fact he was a victim of Jimmy too. I don't think I can look at it any other way because both of these games have really stuck with me.

I genuinely think it really is the idea that people want a simple easy to blame problem and the idea that the only relatable victims of abuse are those that "surpass" it or do a lot to help others. When it comes to victims, especially those that don't fit the typical demographics, who either accidently perpetuate it, enable it or aren't ideal in some way shape or form, people jump to ignore what they went through as it's easier than dealing with those conflicting sentiments.

The bro-code conversation in Mouthwashing stems from a concept I generally dislike that there had to be something about Curly that made him meet or keep being friends with someone like Jimmy. I think people genuinely underestimate how many like decent and good people just know an asshole or are friends with someone who is really bad outside of their view/established dynamics. The game makes it clear none of the inaction against Jimmy is because of a lack of care, it is a lack of understanding from the privaleged postions they have as men to not have to worry about what Anya does/went through and the type of extremes men like Jimmy will go through to cover it up. They are all too preoccupied in their own strifes.

Another thing I see being oversaturated the idea that you have to be a freak, misanthrope or have a disorder to do the thing Jimmy does. The game is an escalation, it's a spiral that I don't see people comment on that Jimmy was not likely having the mood swings and episodes of rage/frustration we were seeing in the game. This is after they all start experiencing the worst moments in their lives that he got THAT openly bad. Of course, this is just my interpretation but much like in real life, people that go to extremes like that usually live mundane lives. It's a pressure cooker affect to where the stress made them pop. It's self inflicted but still the case.

I really think people need to be more willing to acknowledge that not everything needs to be an extreme or in black and white or easy to understand. It doesn't need to be happy or have an answer or solution, especially in the cases where the abused sadly helps perpetuate what they experience. It's not he should've known better from experience or shouldn't he have known what could've happened because victims tend to not like to think in matters of the worst. Not to mention, especially in cases of abuse where it feels so personally directed that you don't expect to happen to someone else.

[drdemonprince]

on the topic of your "bad gender" posts, the one you made mentioning sexual abuse (especially by mothers) is something nobody talks about at all and I'm glad you mentioned it.

My psychiatrist said I have CPTSD after I went through a huge breakdown after putting pieces together that I've been experiencing long-term sexual abuse from my mother (incredibly long story, but you get the idea). I still completely struggle with seeing what she's done and does as abuse, because it is totally buried in my mind that it is not abusive or strange because she is my mother. No matter how many times my friends and partner say it's wrong, or things like "imagine if it was your father", or my DBT therapist is straight up with me and tells me I was groomed by her, I just cannot get the idea that her being my mother specifically makes her behavior acceptable. (especially since I didn't come out as broadly transmasc until I was 18, and was thus seen as a complete extension of her and her body prior to).

I genuinely cannot comprehend where the line is between normal care and abuse because of what I've learned (from her or otherwise) maternal care looks like "compared to" paternal. And I just haven't found anything that's been able to really help me grasp what I've experienced because I just cannot understand why, or what I can do. The only thing I've found with others describing my specific experience is the MDSA subreddit, which is usually just extremely triggering for me to browse (obviously the content, but also the daughter framing and just the everything about it) so I don't go there, but it has shown me that many of us have lived very similar experiences, we just rarely recognized it as abnormal because it was our mother. Perceiving men as the inherently "bad gender" especially in terms of sexual abuse just makes me see red, and is a lot of why this can keep going on unnoticed. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, and I'm sorry to dump this here. It's hard to discuss the nuance of it without being kinda specific. I just saw you mention it and I rarely see the topic brought up, so I guess I just wanted to say thank you for doing so

Thank you so much for sharing this, anon. SO many children endure parentification, spousification, covert incest, and sexual abuse at the hands of their mothers and never get that mistreatment recognized as such because people view women as benevolent, passive caretakers rather than full human beings who are capable of harm. Adults wield immense power over children, particularly parents, and this power structure functions in much the same way men's power over women does -- it makes children into the property of adults, and facilitates abuse.

You are not alone in this experience at all. I'm sure you've heard all about Jeannette McCurdy's Memoir, but if you haven't read it, you might find it affirming. The poet Anne Sexton also sexually abused her daughter, Linda, who wrote a memoir about it called Searching for Mercy Street that is also a powerful read. The host of the podcast The Mental Illness Happy Hour is an adult survivor of covert sexual abuse at the hand of his mother, and he speaks about it quite frequently and thoughtfully on his show, and has interviewed numerous guests who have also survived covert incest. As a male survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of a woman, he's a rare, needed voice, and I've gotten a ton out of listening to it. There's also a self-help book on covert incest that I've read and appreciated called Silently Seduced. You may also find value in Issendai's analysis of estranged parent forums -- lots of documentation of abusive female parents and how they justify themselves to be found there, and the author eviscerates it expertly.

I hope that reading and listening to some of this material will help you to more clearly see the outlines of your own abuse and to recognize it as wrong and distinct from true maternal care. It wasn't my mom who was the chief boundary violator in my household, it was my dad, but a lot of what he did mimicked the traditionally "maternal" abuse profile, and all these resources helped me wrap my head around it a lot better. It's triggering stuff, but I think it is worth plunging these depths when you feel safe to do so, to what ever degree you can comfortably manage. You might want to dig up the Mental Illness Happy Hour episodes specifically about the host's abuse experience first, since that focuses on a man's experience of having been groomed by his mom.

Thanks for writing. My inbox is open if you wanna talk. This stuff was a foundational trauma for me that I have processed heavily and I'm always willing to discuss it more with people who have been there. <3

[ko-existing]

When I (and apparently others), get confused by some posts, it's because it can be interpreted as "we have to just accept our seeming appearences", because it does seem like that when we read "there is no one wanting anything, you are the choiceless "awareness" etc. Like : if there is no one wanting nor choosing, then it doesn't matter, and we just have to change our ways to see it , as in see it as good or not , but we still experience the same life/circumstances. And for that we notice how it's all " " so it's okay. But it can also be interpreted as the opposite, since we don't have to accept anything, because it's not really there, and that " " can appear as anything. And we are " ".

When we can't seem to see for ourselves then it's kind of hard to understand which one is implied. Because both are depending on the posts.

And also since, like in a dream what happens isn't serious and real, then we shouldn't judge what's happening because it's all " ". That's why like me, some anons think it means "we should be okay with our circumstances" and that we can't experience stuff we want because there is no one wanting anything anyway.

I hope this ins't too long or somethig <<3 , I am trying to make clear why we can interpret it that way

Have a good night/day !!

I see (a little bit) where the confusion comes from but also I still don't fully.

Thinking 'you should just accept your circumstances' assumes there's someone here who has to make peace with something 'out there.' That misunderstanding comes from still seeing yourself as a separate person experiencing a separate world, no? But that 'person' and that 'world' are just appearances. Nothing actually has to be accepted or rejected because there’s no one here to accept or reject—it’s just ' ' effortlessly appearing as everything.

Yes, life can feel like circumstances and events, but just like in a dream, none of it has any real substance. Does a dream character need to 'accept' the events in the dream? No, because it’s all just the same dream-stuff playing out. Likewise, ' ' doesn’t need to accept or fix anything because it’s never not ' '

So, it's not about accepting or resisting circumstances. It’s about recognizing that there are no circumstances—just ' ' appearing, including the feelings, thoughts, and situations. There’s no 'you' stuck in a situation; it’s all ' ' free and unlimited, appearing.

[spirk-trek]

Hey so, it's me. The debbie-downer vaguing you in the spirk tag. I didn't mention you directly because my post wasn't directed at you, although it was made in response to checking some of your posts because I do have Unification in my filtered list (content and tag), so those fanworks? Behind a button, so my choice to look is all my own. (I didn't send the anon, though. That was someone else, sorry to say.) It sucks that that's how tumblr's system works but yay content filtering! Tumblr didn't always have that.

I didn't make that post to start drama, and I'm not the sort to get my kicks by being a contrarian for opposition's sake (like. I'm a Shatner fan. In a lot of online Star Trek spaces, I might as well say I hate K/S or Leonard Nimoy or kick puppies in my spare time, you know?), but I did make it in anger and for that I apologize. I should have waited longer on it to phrase things better or simply have deleted it from my drafts after typing it out. (But it's out there now and I'll live with it.)

I do understand where the joy of connecting the past to the present comes from (as a lot of your posts do with connecting old and new fanworks together), and that a lot of people are celebrating the Unification short as a culmination of 50+ years of K/S despite their initial separation according to the initial story, but for me (personally! I want to stress that. It's just me and my own opinion here), I keep seeing it as a valuing of what a company is finally offering fans rather than the celebration of fans who saw where K/S's story ended at the time, rejected that ending that was offered by the corporation, and made their own ending for K/S, without looking towards any official channels as a guide for their visions. That's what my post was about, where my anger was from, those questions--what becomes lost in fandom if we accept canon from the corporation that holds the copyright? What does it say if we look towards that same canon as being above what fandom has already envisioned? In a fandom as old as Star Trek's, one that laid so much groundwork that we take for granted, to overlook that worries me.

I suppose the biggest issue here is it's too similar, like a reflection in a mirror: on one side, Unification stands as the canonization of what the fandom has envisioned all along. It culminates. On the other, Unification appears as a bone tossed to finally appease fans who have seen K/S from the start and it feels too little, too late. Ironically enough, the short has seemingly managed to divide people, but it's too early to tell how lasting such a division could be.

Hopefully I've cleared the air by this. Unification clearly is not my cup of tea and I'm honestly not trying to ruin anyone's fun (most of my posts have gone untagged for a reason but I forget tumblr still parses for post content to index. Yikes. That post was tagged, though, because it was a snap decision made in anger and I wanted my thoughts to be seen). One could argue the short wasn't even made for me as I've long wondered if I will watch Generations because I've read the summary and didn't like it. But that's the joy of fandom and transformative works. We can look at the story and pick our favorite parts and rewrite the ones we don't like. If we didn't do that, fandom wouldn't exist, or it would but it wouldn't be as much fun.

Sorry for the essay in your inbox and for causing any confusion and hurt. I hope you've had a great day 💛

i'm not going to lie, it does hurt a little. i wasn't going to answer this publicly but i don't have the time today to have a private convo and i don't want you to think i deleted it or ignored it, so here we are.

i don't think unification made spirk any more canon than tmp did. i don't think the short was made with k/s in mind at all, even as a bone to toss starving shippers. star trek at large was never intended as a love story between them, but people have always seen it anyway. 

i'm conflicted about the use of nimoy's likeness too. despite that, i think that they did it as respectfully as they could have and involved the right people. it was a goodbye, not using him for a cheap cameo or advertising purposes (yes i know it was an "ad" like everything is, but it's not like spock holds up a coke at the end). you can disagree with me, and i understand your point of view. that's why i said i understood where that anon was coming from. 

what i see is william shatner and others taking a story that ended in a way that was disrespectful to both characters, one of which he himself has been playing for the majority of his life, and trying to fix that. it doesn't mean there's no corporate greed involved. both can be true. at least they posted it on youtube, they didn't premiere it or put it behind a paywall. it was just eight minutes, and less than a quarter of that had nimoy's face in it. my favorite part of the whole thing was seeing tos kirk meet his future selves. i love that even though they both die out of their times, they find each other in the end. 

i don't want to be an activist or defend or endorse anything, i just... 

those zines i tagged were 1) a poem by della van hise that was so accurate to the short that others were already reblogging it (i posted it weeks ago). i found it super interesting that she wrote a poem about them meeting again in death before tmp/wok even came out, let alone this short. 2) i was gushing about unification in the tags. 3) another poem about being side by side, which again, i found incredibly relevant. the other one i posted was because it went well with the others visually. it has nothing to do with unification other than the fact that spock is laying down. 

this has just made me sad tbh. i'm not angry and i love your analysis/fan work so much, so :( idk, i don't want anything i post to be divisive or disrespectful. i wasn't even worried about that before. i just really needed a win and maybe i clung to that a little too hard :/

[infiniteletters]

about the loa-cult post:

I read everything and I do agree with what they’re saying, but I felt like either they’re not expressing themselves properly or either they’re being inconsistent without noticing lol

They said multiple times in the post “if manifestation was real yall would have been doing xyz” “if manifestation was real this and that would have been happening” “if you keep following this belief (notice how they really ‘belief’ and not the community) you’ll lose your precious time” “people really believe they can change their appearance/financial situation/ethnicity 🙄” only to then say they believe manifestation/shifting/void state are real and they have manifested their dream life

LIKE ??????????

yes i also noticed that part, they are speaking from anger and frustration because of current events they mentioned in the post

they made the account and that post because of that alone and flip flop between this and that. Idk if they noticed it themselves but I do believe it's just anger, frustration, fear and deep lack of understanding what they're even talking about. They just want to let out some steam.

It's the same exact way anons let their frustration out in our inbox every now and then. We gloss over those essays because it's 50% incoherent and 50% contradictory. So, why waste our time replying. You can't speak to someone who is angry, you can't speak to someone who has their mind set on something. It is futile.

In general, I do understand where that person is coming from but they sound very young and don't really understand what they are criticizing and what they are saying to "prove it doesn't work".

HOWEVER

I do agree, there are very obsessive people running around here. I wouldn't call it a cult straight up but very... odd. Instead of thinking independently, most follow what they read, say yes and tadyatha , force themselves to do xyz , feel bad about it , get worse than before but if they stopped and thought by themselves, they wouldn't fall into that difficult situation to begin with. I don't blame them though, thinking alone is not adviced there, is it?

There are so many posts that make no sense whatsoever if you look at the words they're saying. You will also see some on the limited side of AV

[celestiachan]

straight trans people do have straight privilege over gay trans people have you never heard of ray blanchard or hsts???

please. please. please. please. talk to queer people who are over the age of 17

[ninyard]

i don't think the trial story is tasteless; it's reality. i was there for the whole herd-depp fiasco. this is how people are. i think anon is conflating characters in a story with the person writing lmao.

i think anon comes with a point that i'd definitely thought about before, but i think the way I'm personally going about it vs the way it could be explored/meme'd/sensationalised/scandalised are quite different. I don't really want to talk about this too much or knock that anon down for what they were saying, so I probably won't post much more about it unless it's some genuine criticism or thoughts on the trial posts themselves!!

[intheholler]

Hi!

You were asking for warm feelings, so: When I was a kid, we visited the region, and the thing I remember most after woods like something out of Frost is the music. Not just Dolly Parton and Loretta Lynn, but the smaller folk music and dance performances we saw between national parks. (I still can't figure out how to make my feet move like that, and not for lack of trying!) I've always wanted to do it again as an adult.

I'm not from Appalachia, but reading your recent posts, I feel the same way about my own home that frequently tries to set fire to itself politically (Texas), and I find it reassuring and validating to read about your deep love for where your roots are. It's an increasingly rare thing, and while the scarcity of people of our frame of mind makes me sad, I'm also all the more appreciative of reading posts like yours when they come across my dash.

Way too often, when we talk about deterioration or instability in our homelands, we're told "just move." People don't understand how our souls are tangled up in the tree roots, echoed in birdsong, that we're part of the mist on the backroads and the rush of bats out of a cave like fucking Dracula. It takes a degree of bravery to let yourself become part of a place, even more to choose to remain that way--especially if you're vocal about it. So, rambling as this is, it's all to say hang in there, because your love for your land is a rare and beautiful thing.

.

[dennisboobs]

plain and simple i am not going to be able to remain in this fandom long-term if i have to keep putting disclaimers on every single one of my posts that say i don't condone dennis' bad, bad actions and that i am in fact aware he's got a history of sexual assault and dubious/nonconsent. the entire gang has done heinous shit. why is dennis the only one who needs to be treated like this? if some rando wants to post about how dennis is pookie pie that doesn't automatically mean they're blind to his crimes. every single member of the gang is a piece of shit. that's kind of the point.

draw dennis with cat ears who give a shit

[theflyingfeeling]

I don’t know if I’m just imagining things but I feel like Olli and Aleksi are actually so close 🥺 for example I feel like they post so many pics together and I know they post with others too and it’s not a big deal but e.g. Olli has posted 5 pics with someone else this year and 3 of them are with Aleksi.. so it must mean something right?? 🥺 and I feel like they spend a lot of time together yk even ”outside the band” when they’re having a day off and they still do music (the remix) etc. together 😭

Yeah I mean I for one am so deep in the Olli/Allu delulu land that it's VERY easy for me to agree and confirm all of this 😭 they're boyfriends secret lovers special friends and it shows 🥺

Here are all the pictures of the two of them I could find on Olli's IG, for reference 💞

+ the group picture Olli posted when Aleksi first joined the band, with the caption 'so now there's six of us' 🥺

[uncanny-tranny]

transsexual thursday!!!

been on HRT for almost 2 years now (2 years in november) and its going swimmingly. i don't regret it for a moment.

honestly i'm so glad i'm on gel now and not needles. needles suck SO hard. literally the only complaint i've ever had about HRT lmao. though now i briefly smell like rubbing alcohol in the mornings, which isn't a bad tradeoff i think. though i can't pet my cats in the mornings before work :(

I'm sure your cats know how much you love them even if you can't say bye to them before work (not that this changes anything, but I'm so confident they know they're loved <3)!

[concerto-roblox]

WHY IS EVERYONE SO MEAN ALL THE TIME. WHY IS NO ONE NICE ANYMORE. WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD.

[dirtyjvconfessions]

Wasn’t Jhonen like in his early 20s??? Or Just ended teenhood when Zim was being made???

Imagine hiring a pdf file to “handle” this young adult creator. Fucking horrid.

Yes he was a 23 year old young adult minor at the time

[tru-lyly]

this is the very last thing i will say about the Discourse, because i am more than ready to move on: when someone is fed up with a long pattern of bullying and not so subtle clique trolling, it’s okay to decide to hit reply for once. i didn’t even touch all the instances of racism in that server and the one before it. so: try not policing people’s responses to aggression. i get it, it’s not pretty, but neither is the all bullshit behavior the involved parties try so hard to deny happens.

[randomnameless]

Do we know if Humans and Nabateans can have children? I thought Flayn's mother was a Nabatean too, since she got her crest.

Technically, Flayn never says she got her crest from her Mother !

Nopes wise, in the jp version, Sothis doesn't seem to know her (she knew another Light Dragon?) and calls her a wonder - but jury is out whether she thinks Flayn is a wonder because she was born after, or during, her Big Nap, or bcs she Flayn is a hybrid.

So Flayn being half-nabatean is, basically, headcanon.

However...

Immediately after the war, Flayn disappeared from Garreg Mach. At the same time, Linhardt mysteriously abandoned his claim to House Hevring, and also vanished. It was suspected, among those who knew them, that they had eloped, although no one seemed to know just where they went. Over a decade later, well after the Officers Academy had been rebuilt, something strange happened. A sleepy young girl with antiquated clothing and the Major Crest of Cethleann enrolled. Over the next two years, a young boy and girl with that same Crest also enrolled. Though Crest scholars deduced that they must be siblings, the truth of their lineage was never definitely proven.

Flayn's ending with Linhardt in FE16 is explicit, they got at least 3 children who were "viable" enough to enrol (also, are we supposed to understand in the new GM, children as old as 10 can enrol?).

Canon-wise, Nabateans and humans can have children !

Headcanon wise...

It has always been a possibility that fascinated me, especially because Supreme Leader is so biased against Nabateans when she could be of Nabatean descent herself, via Lycaon - but headcanons are fickle things lol

So there is an AU where Lycaon is a half-lizard, and is killed because of that - which leads Willy to ditch Adrestia and Rhea to abandon hope in Humanity to work on her rez Sothis plan.

Half-lizard Lycaon managed to fuck before dying, which would later lead to the Martritz siblings being hybrids too (but with 500 generations between them and Lycaon lol) - Supreme Leader and her ancestors descends from Empress Hildegarde, the scion of a kid Willy got after receiving his crest, who was never supposed to sit on the Adrestian throne but who took it nonethless when Lycaon "accidently died".

tldr : the matritz sibs are Rhea's far removed descendants

Noa, the apostle, was a Nabatean, and got her own children who ultimately formed the elusive House Nuvelle - they swore an oath of mutual assistance with House Hresvelg (their supposed cousins!) but with time that oath and its origin was forgotten, House Nuvelle just remembers they have a vow of allegeance to House Hresvelg.

Seteth's wife being a human (per his and Flayn's recollections, she was someone like Manuela and Judith??? Why couldn't we see her IS? KT?) is a HC I'll die for, her presence and support might have influenced some Nabateans on thinking maybe all humans weren't bad, and how they could work with some of them.

[hanzajesthanza]

Thank you for all your contributions to the Witcher fandom. I know it is tiring work, sometimes not fun at all. I am still thankful that you are here, sharing your joy and love for it. Your contributions are very much appreciated.

this is such a thoughtful ask! thank you, sincerely!

i do try my best and want to make some cool stuff for everybody and for myself (whether it be analysis, art, or other stuff). i always want to share my love and joy for the books. as long as i am still interested in them at the level i've been interested in them for the past few years, i want to be there with everybody else (and i don't see an end in sight to my interest in the books, currently).

you're right in that it is sometimes difficult, but there have been a lot more happy moments than there have been sad ones. and i've had the opportunity to grow and change when it comes to dealing with differences in opinion. i'm able to put more thought into deciding whether or not to engage and how to engage, which has been valuable for me and, i think, everybody i interact with.

it's hard to describe, but something i'm genuinely interested in is the welfare of the books fandom. i think over the past year, i've become not only interested in the specific parts of the books that are my favorites, but how everyone else (as fans of the books) are doing, even if we don't share the same "niche".

in that sense, i want to contribute not only artistic or beautiful or fun things to the fandom, but also want to get engaged in making it easier to be a fan of the books, to... make the fandom a better place, as cheesy as it sounds. being vocal about not only the books, but the experience of being a fan of the books is definitely a priority for me.

i hope that i can create more and share more this year, and i hope that others enjoy it!