#I don't trust coincidences.

[filmjunky-99]

s t a r t r e k d e e p s p a c e n i n e created by rick berman, michael piller [cardassians, s2ep5]

'I believe in coincidences. Coincidences happen every day. But, I don't trust coincidences.' - garak

[divineandmajesticinone]

4 MINUTES (2024) I 1.02 "Do the police normally do house check-ins."

[oleskellybones]

if i had a dollar for every person who stopped talking to me bc i wouldn't sleep with them i'd have a goddamn house.

[gideonisms]

today my bike I have had for 7 years got stolen so I was really upset and called or went to every pawn shop on my side of the city then came home and realized I hadn't eaten at all throughout the day and I'm bleeding into my clothing (normal monthly blood). well. :/

[quasarkisses]

my father's first name is my given middle name. I have wanted to change it for years and am about to in less than a month.

got a text from him today asking if I liked my chosen first name, birth middle and last. he's refinishing my grandmother's hope chest for my wedding and it's his always been his way to write names on the things he makes.

I called my sister about it. I've been cold-sweat-lying-in-bed anxious about this for years. Heard him wander in not knowing I could hear everything on the phone and complain about me wanting to change my name.

Ouch.

[captain-crowfish]

They say to never trust how you feel about your life after 9PM but it's always before 9PM somewhere. Anyway I think I might be a therian

[nandalikesstuff]

Me: ok, these symptoms are psychosomatic but this completely unrelated pain is real, I'm sure.

Pain: *gets better literally the second I take some medicine*

Me: ...... et tu, brute?

[mwolf0epsilon]

I've noticed you haven't been tagging your news related reblogs anymore. Is there a reason?

Some of Tumblr's overall activity towards these posts (I know which ones you mean) has been... Incredibly sketchy, lets say. And by that I mean some people I was following have either been targets of harassment, shadowbans, or simply vanished overnight after showing vocal support for the victims.

I hate not tagging them because I feel like it's easier to find the resource posts I share if I sort them with my tagging system, but I already had an incident that required staff intervention and I definitely don't trust what might happen if the wrong moderator takes notice of my opinions on the matter.

Until I'm sure those vanishing blogs aren't connected to misuse of moderation powers/blatant support for oppression, I am gonna air on the side of caution.

[mishkakagehishka]

And i try to look up that pressure test just to make sure i'm doing it right bc girl i'm getting worried and "ovulation pain doesn't get worse with movement" well i guess i'm just built different /neg

[aknolan]

But it was salem ignorence that cause all of this sure what the gods did to her was awful but they right you cant just play with life and death (also they punish her the second time she try it when she talk to the god of darkness) if ruby will bring penny back it would mean that salem is right and the gods are wrong

Anon, I rewatched the segment with the brother gods and I recommend you do too. You wanna talk about playing with life and death?

How's this: the brother gods, after committing genocide on humanity, talk about how this was an interesting experiment but they'll go to other planets now because this one's a Remnant of what it once was. You know, because they committed genocide?

They created an entire sentient species to worship them, and then when a few groups of that sentient species did something they didn't like? They killed everyone.

So yeah, there was a lot of playing with life and death going on there. All of humanity was an experiment to them.

It's not Salem's ignorance that caused all this. This happened because the brother gods were so mad at a grieving woman tricking them into bringing her husband back to life that they decided to punish her. And the god of darkness explicitly says that this means she'll never be able to see her husband again! He knows how horrible that is!

So yeah, it would mean the gods were wrong. Because they are wrong.

What Salem is doing now? Yeah that's really bad. Obviously. But back then, she was a grieving woman who wanted to bring back this one person who she loved. And had the brother gods just told her she wouldn't be able to contact them again, that would have been that. Maybe she would have lived, maybe she would have tried to join Ozma in the afterlife, to put it mildly. Even immortal, that was what she initially tried to do.

The brother gods play with life and death constantly. All of humanity was their game with life and death. When talking to each other the god of light says that it's a balance they agreed on. It was their choice. They didn't punish Salem for playing with life and death, they punished her for tricking them and wrapped it in a bow of learning about the meaning of life and death. But really, they were mad that she tricked them.

Salem wasn't wrong for trying to get her husband back, the gods were wrong to punish her.

I don't know if they should have brought Ozma back, but they sure as hell shouldn't have made Salem immortal about it. Or killed everyone after she gathered some of humanity to fight them in an attempt that was completely incapable of doing any damage.

[thevagabondexpress]

see, epigraphs are supposed to be like cassandra clare quoting byron or dickens or so on at the tops of her chapters and they're pieces that existed at the time period in which the story takes place etc., etc.

then there's me quoting deep space nine at the top of a tlh fic because i don't trust coincidences either.

[dreadeves]

Okayyy I am here to go horrifically in-depth about a long-held theory of mine that will probably go nowhere:

ANGEL AS THE HORSEMAN OF DEATH

His name makes no sense: Yoru is the War Devil. Makima and later Nayuta are the Conquest/Control Devil. Princi is the Spider Devil. Power is the Blood Fiend. Beam is the Shark Fiend. Galgali is the Violence Fiend. And then… Angel is the Angel Devil? The main devils/fiends all have names beyond their personification. He presumably lived as a human on the island he washed up on. He’s noted to be non-hostile to humans. He lives & works with humans. He is noted and listed with the other angel hierarchy names, who all have that as their name. But he has no real human name?  EDIT: So the names for the angel hierarchies seem to have been given by Makima, but that still raises the question about the double naming (Angel-Angel) and what he was called prior. Also, naming in devils tends to indicate closeness to humanity for the other devils.

Angel’s amnesia is a whole Thing. He loses his memories of his time on the island to Makima, for some reason. I’d also argue that there’s a non-zero chance that he also had next to no memories when he washed up on the island in the first place. He later regains them just before Makima decides to take him over again. Canonically people don’t remember when she controls him and just before/after, so why did this entire section of his life blur out? Yeah, it could've been trauma, but he could’ve still had that sweet trauma she needed him to have to control him entirely even if he did remember living on the island for presumably at minimum a few weeks to several months before she had him kill them. Hell, it probably would’ve been more traumatic! So why? 

His power makes no sense! Admittedly, creating powers for the concept of an “angel devil” would be kinda tricky. However. Fujimoto does play into the angel hierarchy and make callbacks to this kinda thing. People have noted Angel’s hair can look like that one iconic picture of Lucifer. People have also noted the Angel of Death connection before. But angels are typically messengers and soldiers. (And also the whole “angels loving humanity/disobeying god” thing is really fun to look at with Angel disobeying Makima but beside the point.) They’re also stereotypically psychopomps. Angel, on the other hand, explicitly has an ability related to death. He literally tells Makima as much. And it’s a passive ability for him, and he has no say in it. And Power makes weapons out of blood, Yoru/Asa makes weapons out of things she feels she owns, Makima can use the people under her control’s powers as weapons. Angel’s power isn’t making weapons, per se, because lots of devils can do that. His power is draining lifespans and then collecting them. He’s the final destination for those souls. Also, psychopomp and death related entities tend to be associated with wings, for some reason. 

Continuing from the last point: There’s a parallel between Asa/Yoru and Angel, I can feel it. She can turn things into weapons if she feels she owns it, and the guiltier she feels about its creations, the stronger it is. Angel says that when he turns people into weapons, he sometimes sees them in his dreams and they blame him for it. (There’s also the Asa/Denji Angel/Aki parallel, but beyond the point.) He’s also shown to be immensely powerful, the more lifespans he uses, but he's very reluctant to use it to its full extent.

The relationship between Makima and Angel is so interesting to me. She states that she can only control those who see themselves as inferior (and tends to show their inferiority through fights), but there’s a really interesting progression between them: Makima meets Angel on the island. He asks her who she is, refuses to use his power because “[his] power brings death” and then Makima immediately asserts herself as superior by controlling him into killing (presumably) all the people living on the island with Angel. Similarly, as soon as he recovers his memories, she takes him out of play! And still, he still breaks through her control several times throughout the series, generally in relation to Aki. I don’t believe we’ve had anyone realize she was the Control Devil in this way yet in the manga, and I don’t believe anyone else has gained (some of) their memories back/broken through her control in the same way? I've seen several different arguments for certain people but I think so far he's the only we've been shown do both.

EDITING to ALSO add: Angel potentially knows more than he lets on. When he tells Aki about the chainsaw noise the devils heard before they were reborn here, and when Aki asks if he remembers Hell and he asks if Aki remembers his mother’s womb: He dodges the questions there.

Combining all of this: 

Either (following current manga rules) Angel is a weird devil and Angel is his name and title, or it’s his title and he doesn’t have a name, or his name is Angel, like Power and Princi and Seraphim and Virtue and Dominion, and his title is something different… like the Death Devil. 

My theory is that, after the fight between the Weapon Devils and Four Horsemen (and Angel/his powers are there via Makima when she tells the Chainsaw Man that “You fought the Weapon Devils and the Four Horsemen who are now here” or whatever the OG is in Japanese) and the Chainsaw Devil, Angel ends up amnesiac either via the Chainsaw Man, via Makima, or via some other way, washes up on that beach, and either he remembers his name or the people that live there saw his aesthetic and went “Oh yeah that’s an angel”. He stays with them, cares about them, and then Makima, who’s been looking for him in his capacity as a Horseman and is fully aware of what he’s capable of, comes in and immediately asserts her dominance. Angel, unaware of being the Death Devil and viewing himself as lower than Makima because he literally just killed everyone he cared about (and this is the tale Makima spun! She told Aki this. If Angel didn’t know about killing them prior, he probably believed that as well?), could be controlled by her. 

So the War Devil says she wants to make the Chainsaw Devil puke up nuclear devil because she wants the world to go to war. The Control Devil said she wanted to kill the other horsemen, create a world where the “flaws” were erased and have one she could control (and Denji found out she wanted an equal she couldn’t control). The Famine devil says she wants to prevent human extinction because it would mean her favorite foods would be gone. So what would the Death Devil want from the Chainsaw Man, and why would it fight him? And like, the base is pretty easy: Angel’s been pretty nonchalant about dying from the very beginning. I’d think that the nightmares from the people he drained would be a pretty easy reason why he’d want to die, and maybe die permanently. I’m also wondering: the Primal Fears are said to have never been killed. They don’t fear death, so they’d be more powerful than Angel. The devils and fiends are in an interesting spot to me? Because they have a continuous cycle of life/death/life/death. Which raises an interesting question into whether or not they are also afraid of death. I’d almost wonder if the Death Devil would want the Chainsaw Man to end the reincarnation cycle in order to make them afraid of death and potentially allow the Death Devil to die, or whether or not the Death Devil prefers the endless cycle because it continuously produces fear of it. It also raises an interesting parallel between the Chainsaw Man and the Death Devil, because one kills in Hell/forces birth in the human world, and the other causes death. And then there’s the whole “chainsaws for birth” thing that makes it a life/death thing.

Side points: We don’t really get a clear look at his eyes after Makima takes him over. There’s a little bit in like, one of the immediate next panels of Angel, but beyond that, his eyes appear closed/looking down/covered by hair for the rest of his time in the manga.

The other panels he’s in the other people tend to be farther away or there’s more people so the eyes aren’t as consistent there but like. C'mon. Why can’t we see his eyes now of all places, while everyone else’s are clear. It’s not like all of them are dead at this point per se, either. I’d wonder if, once he realizes who he was, he’d get the distinctive horsemen eyes and this is the attempt to hide it, or whether or not he changed his appearance to fit further in with society, or if this is just because Fujimoto hadn't decided his fate at this point. 

6. To be honest, the only way I can’t see this working out is if Fujimoto pulled something out of thin air for the Death Devil, or made it a primal being. If he doesn’t I’d kinda worry/wonder about it being repetitive, because the Angel Devil already has what would be the potential Death Devil’s powers if it isn’t Primal. 

[knight-engale]

Nothing like getting a cryptic text addressing you by the name you go by online... 😖 "Lina, your sample has been sent by our company." What sample? What company? What the hell are you talking about

No way in hell I'm paying some website to figure out who/what this number belongs to, but like... Way to turn my anxiety up to 11...

[alinedreams]

In my mind, the "you deserve to be loved" concept is entirely undermined by the "you are not entitled to anyone's affection" concept.

I feel any and every affection has to be EARNED; there is and should be no thing as unconditional love, for it could eventually harm the lover and make the loved take said love for granted.

With that being said, I also feel I have to earn MY OWN affection, which is something I feel I haven't been deserving of due to being way too irritable and annoying and lashing out and yapping too much. I feel don't deserve other people's affection for my shortcomings and I feel I should punish myself with no self-affection at all until I get it right. And no, my autism and my lingering burnout are no excuses.

Is this a toxic train of thought? Yes. Does it prevent me from descending into nasty incel-like behavior where I'd feel entitled to other people's feelings just because "if I love myself even though I'm a mess, so should everyone else"? That's also a yes. Can I unravel this train of thought without feeling like a massive hypocrite? UNFORTUNATELY NO! I'M TRYING, BUT IT JUST FEELS LIKE IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO EXPECT THE SAME LOVE FROM MY EVIL SELF I SHOULD NEVER EVER EXPECT FROM ANYONE ELSE!

So, I'm stuck in a cycle of:

Try to love myself -> mess up somewhere in the way -> end up not loving myself because I suck as a human being and I should not be entitled to love because I'm not acting in a lovable way and it'd be very hypocritical and arrogant to love myself under this state -> get way too depressed at my own suckiness to do anything about it -> try to spiral out of it -> remember that whole "you deserve to be loved" thing -> try to love myself once again -> ad infinitum

It's... Very annoying, to put it VERY FREAKING LIGHTLY.

And I have no idea how to leave it without feeling arrogant and believe that OTHER PEOPLE should also love me like I love myself, you know? because I'd be like "well, if I can love myself, why can no one else? That doesn't make sense! That's statistically improbable!", despite the fact I'm an evil gremlin who always messes up and does indeed NOT deserve any love from anyone (and, in this train of thought, I include myself, because, again, it'd be hypocritical not to).

It's the autistic logic running in a hamster wheel inside my brain, I guess?

[maranull]

my want to share neat greek things constantly clashing with my utter disgust at the country

anyway, I found a mastic drink at the store.

it's nice (?)

the sour cheery (and the pomegranate that it has on equal amounts but doesn't mention it anywhere but in the detailed ingredient list) matches fairly well with the sparkling aspect of it, and even more with the strong mastic aroma, which ties them together kinda nice. it also, obviously, has a strong mastiha taste over all that, which is... a taste. never been able to decide if I like it or not, whether in drink form or the more common gum one.

anyway, somehow I can't bring myself to drink too much of it, even though I don't dislike it. it doesn't flow as easy as like, a typical carbonated drink and it feels heavier and stronger than I expected from something that advertises itself as "refreshing"

would rec if you know you like the mastiha taste in general or if you are in a group and can pass it around cause it sure will bring up opinions

[bruisedloverr]

i'll forever find funny that my first interaction with tfs was me accidentally getting one of the hardest to obtain (angel tf) because my man saved his vaginal virginity for sydney and rite of promise protects angel tf. with a guy named angel no less!! that's certainly A Thing