#I don't think there's a single person that dean isn't repressed with

[nicolegendary]

the fight between eddie and dean for most repressed tumblr boy has become vicious

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXVI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

You are the one in my heart (Part II)

(11x13)

Hello! I bring to you another meta from this collection – the second part! We will keep talking about broken hearts and how in love Dean is with Castiel. I know you love this topic. And I just decided this will have a third part because I have so many things to say...

First of all, I want to say thank you to @destielle , she's the beta reader of this mess. Thank you for making my meta look so pretty 😘💕💕

Cheating and love triangles

Episode 11x13 is titled 'Love Hurts' and it fits perfectly because, remember how Dean felt so hurt when Casifer tried to use him as bait? Okay. We all agree he suffered a heart break then, and that’s why the Banshee could get to him. Now, this episode talks about broken hearts, too… but also about a cursed kiss: Amara's kiss.

The episode opens with a husband cheating on his wife with their babysitter. It’s a love triangle functioning as a Destiel mirror, but they add in some spicy confusion to the subtext: Melissa (the depressed wife) is the Cas mirror, we have Stacey, the babysitter, for Amara and Dan as Dean.

So when we have Stacey saying: "Ew, I can taste her mom lipstick…you’re telling her tonight, right?" we get the mirrored thoughts of Amara after kissing Dean, who is, too, already taken, compromised – bonded with Castiel. 

And when Dan says: "I told you it’s not that simple. Mel and I…we’ve been together since we were your age. We have a house, a baby…we have a whole life together." He's talking about marriage, a serious commitment, which works as the perfect parallel to Dean and Castiel’s long-term relationship.

So when the Qareen appears in the form of Dan and rips Stacy's heart out from her chest (and vice versa a little further into the episode), we are still talking about broken hearts. But we get confused because Dan admits his love for the babysitter, and therefore could never hurt her. Because you don't hurt the one you love (obviously if Dean had listened a little closer to Dan, he surely would have recalled that nefarious chat with Casifer where he proposed to put Dean in danger).

So, going with the assigned roles, let’s say if Dan is Dean and Stacy is Amara, does that mean when Dan is saying he loves Stacy, not his wife, that Dean loves Amara, and not Cas? No. Not at all. Because the upcoming scenes and what Dean says by the end of the episode will clarify: THE KISS AMARA GAVE HIM IS A CURSE AND HE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH HER.

Now, I want to share with you my beta's clarifying thought, that calmed my shipping heart...

"Hi, destielle here, rudely taking advantage of beta’ing to add a thought: I think the babysitter merely posed as a temptation, something Dan tried out because it’s kind of forbidden and dangerous and therefore exciting, plus conquering a girl stimulates his self-worth but - breaking up with his wife never really was a heartfelt intention. Because getting it on with the babysitter is not only a clichée, but also only fun for a little while, because everything, in the end, will lose its newness and therefore allurement and so I suspect he knew that sticking to what he has, a long-term thing that lasts, is the better road to go by far. Plus there’s a difference between true love and excitement induced infatuation. The ladder will fade, love will last and grow stronger bc it’s built upon a solid foundation."

This is so true, and couldn't be more agreed! Thank you Hannah! 😚💕

The Cursed Kiss

This was a very blatantly straight forward episode, because first it was opened with a recall to AMARA's kiss to Dean. And then they showed us how the Qareen’s curse jumped from one to the next victim via kiss. So, you have a deadly kiss, a cursed kiss… The mark of Cain’s kiss, darkness’s kiss, AMARA's kiss… that wasn't love, that wasn't good. AMARA's kiss is dark, bad, cursed and deadly.

AMARA's kiss poop? 🤣

Who's in Dean's heart?

We already know the answer, but let's dig into it anyway…

The first scene with the Winchester brothers takes place in the Bunker's kitchen the morning after Valentine's day and Dean is having a hard time trying to restore himself… he's walking funny on his way to the fridge… if you know what I mean. But mostly we wonder why that is. He's not the guy for a one-night-only-girl anymore, so what was the matter? And immediately after that question we asked ourselves Dean says this to his brother…

Sam: Is that a hickey? (Dean spits out his food)

Gif set credit @spnwhenever

Dean: And? It was valentine’s day. I can’t help it if I’m a hopeless romantic.

Sam: You got half of that right.

Dean: Just doing my civic duty. Helping all the single ladies. You know the best thing about February 14th. You don’t have to be Mr. Right. Just Mr. Right Now

Sam: That’s classy

Is this the old Dean talking? Nope, definitely not. It’s Mr Dean ‘Broken-hearted’ Winchester talking. And we get it now… Saint Valentine's day, he wasn't with his Mr. Right (Cas)... He just took what was right in that moment. It’s very very sad. But Dean needs to frame it more classy, to make it more cool.

Now, I want to talk a little about Melissa. When she realizes she maybe went too far with her spell, she turns to Dean and Sam, and she says this…

Melissa: yes. A return to love spell. All I had to do was chant it and seal it with a kiss. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I swear. I just wanted my husband back.

This is sad too, and gives us, if we take that as a feeling mirrored from Cas, a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why he said ‘Yes’ to Lucifer in the cage. And again it’s the motive of the CURSED KISS, one with dark intentions… we already learned AMARA's kiss is bad and not good, but now we get even more confirmation of this when Dean kisses Melissa, taking the curse on him that way. WE GET IT WRITERS!

Gif credit @clairvoyantsam

Sam: So the curse is transmittable?

Just like Cain's mark, the curse, the kiss, the love spell, all of them are transmittable.

Sam: Apparently not in him. The person who holds the Qareen’s heart is the one who commands it.

Sam is giving us a lot of clues here: Who has AMARA's heart? Dean. But who has Dean's heart? Castiel. So Dean can direct his own will to reject AMARA's offer. And this is the secret why DEAN CAN RESIST HER.

So, with this statement in our heads, let's analyze the Qareen’s and Dean’s encounter…

The Qareen takes the form of people’s darkest desires. So… he took AMARA's shape.

The Qareen sensed Dean's longing in his heart, but it failed in personifying it. Because Dean's darkest desire is not dark, it’s full of light, but is hidden, because it’s so repressed. His deepest is a secret, it’s his love for Castiel.

Amara: Who I am doesn’t matter. The real question is who are you?

Dean: What do you mean who am I?

She can't read him, Dean Winchester is a mystery, she can't get to his true feelings, she can't reach them. Dean has them sealed away very, very deep down in his soul. Like a treasure.

Amara: You’re a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except it’s cloaked in shame. When it comes to this, you can’t help yourself, so why fight it. Just give in.

When she says Dean Winchester is a mystery it’s because she really can't read the truth in him, but she knows it’s somewhere in there. She feels it, but can't quite grasp it. And she says 'it's clocked in shame.' Because it is, because Dean Winchester is ashamed of his feelings for Castiel. He knows he shouldn't feel how he feels for his best friend, for a ‘man’, for an angel. He thinks he doesn't deserve him. So, when the Qareen touches herself saying 'when it comes to this, you can't help yourself, so why fight it. Just give in.' It’s simple when it’s about women, when it’s about a curse, a love spell, the attraction is there, the curse is there, he knows it, but they're not Mr. Right. They're just there… the girls on Saint Valentine's Day are available and Amara is almost irresistible because of the curse. But Dean Winchester doesn't give in to that because he loves Castiel.

And then, Qareen!Amara can’t rip Dean's heart from his chest. Because she is not the one in his heart.

We need more evidence? What about this last dialogue between Sam and Dean…

Dean: It was Amara

Sam: That surprise you?

Dean: That doesn’t surprise you?

Sam: Honestly?

Dean: Honestly? You seriously think the sister of God is my deepest darkest desire?

Sam: She isn’t?

Dean: No! She can’t be!

Gif credit @samwinchesterlesbian 👇

Dean puts all his fierceness into these words, BECAUSE HE IS SURE! HE KNOWS POSITIVELY IT CAN'T BE, BECAUSE HE LOVES CASTIEL.

Sam: Why not?

Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I’m…

Sam: Means you’re what? Complicit? Weak? Evil?

Dean: For starters, yeah

Dean is afraid of the power Amara has over him, that’s it.

Dean: Standing here right now, every bone in my body wants to run her through. Send her back to that hole she crawled out of. But when I’m near her, I don’t know. Something happens and I can’t explain it, but to call it desire or love…it’s not that. I’m screwed man. We wanna kill the darkness. We need to kill the darkness. And I don’t think I can. I’m sorry to do that to you, ya know, but when it comes right down to it…

The most important thing here is that Dean is aware of the curse, of the power, he knows what Amara does to him, and he is sure that it is NOT LOVE. How can he be sure that it’s not love? BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT LOVE IS, BECAUSE THERE'S SOMEONE IN HIS HEART ALREADY, AND THAT'S CASTIEL.

To Conclude: 

If the episode with Mildred showed us Dean was pining for someone, telling us Dean is in love with someone, then this one is yelling in our faces that person isn't Amara. And if it’s not Amara plus ‘cloaked in shame’, and Dean has gotten his heart broken recently by someone we know, we are talking about the same person: Castiel.

So it’s logical! And we made the equation just like the writers wanted us to solve it: DEAN WINCHESTER IS IN LOVE WITH CASTIEL, BUT HE'S ASHAMED OF THIS FEELING. AND AMARA HAS A DARK POWER OVER HIM THROUGH A TRANSMITTABLE CURSE: CAIN'S MARK. CANONICAL FACTS! But yeah, I'm not discovering a new world here...

I hope you liked this mess. See you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From s11, here you have the links: Vol. LXII, LXIII, LXIV, LXV.

Buenos Aires, June 16th 2020 18:45 PM

[qwertyfingers]

i literally dont even CARE about the character interpretation angle and never have because i dont read fic for any specific identity but every single one of their posts is arguing something that just literally doesn't exist lmfoa

putting this under a cut because i dont want it to be all over the place and with any luck this will be the only post about it but for the record theyre being a complete clown and really need to just. step back and reassess what on eart theyre actually tryign to say

"i think the thing with a lot of gay dean headcanons is that even the non-reactionary ones seem to come from a kinda mindset that bisexuals are an entirely different species that we don't have any shared experiences with gay people"

okay show your working lol. to me it sounds liek YOU don't understand (or don't want to admit) that sexuality is complex and personal and that one person interpreting a character as gay doesn't in any way discredit you personally identifying with them as a bisexual. gay people are generally more likely to see a person as gay, and bi people are generally more likely to see them as bi. that's not a fight it just makes sense? that's how things work?

like, imagine if i said it was homophobic to interpret any male character who'd shown to date men and women as bi, because their attraction to women could be forced or ~comphet. you'd propbably feel pretty fucked off right? so why can't you see that it's weird to say it's biphobic to interpret men as gay if they've shown any attraction to women? obviously there are very few stats on how many gay people have never dated the ~opposite sex, but in my experience across most demographics the answer is Very Few.

"if he’s gay, he kinda has a whole other level of self hatred and repression going on and i don’t see him being that unaware of his sexuality all the way to the age of 41"

do you like. talk to older gay people at all. i've met men who only realised in their SEVENTIES. 41 really isn't all that old and someone who's clearly having a really hard time with mascuilinity and gender faces additional complications when it comes to accepting sexuality. this is true for gay and bi men! but its impossible to overstate the psychological effects of compulsory heterosexuality and how much harder it often is to accept a lack of attraction to the ~opposite~ sex than to accept the presence of it to your own. this has nothing to do with dean it's just something a lot of gay people have talked about over hsitory and is important to keep in mind here i think. again this is not a given truth, some gay people find it easier to accept theyre not straight than to accept that they are gay, but a general trend

literally every argument on their page is like. 'gay dean people think its more woke for dean to be gay than if hes bi' no they just personally dont interpret his interactions as genuine attraction for whatever reason. 'gay dean people don't interpret anyoen as bi' i have literally not once come across a person who headcanons every queer person is spn as gay. never.

really this is just. one persons insecurity being played into a political conversation that spreads and spreads and ends up upsetting a lot of people because theyre literally saying 'gay dean truthers are biphobic as a group and excluding bisexuals from queer spaces and etc' and its just not grounded in reality at all and honestly shades over like. actual problems. this whole thing is completely facetious and a built up straw man because people are upset about their personal view not being everyones view and its obnoxious to start pulling out academic ass language that literally says 'bi women are encouraged to be straight but bi men are actually encouraged to be gay'

can't believe peiople are earnestly posting Again about gay vs bi character discourse when half of these takes are from someone arguing uncritically that men are encouraged to be gay lmfao

[verobatto]

"You loved me, but in your heart there's something else before me."

How season 14 is Foreshadowing the Destiel talk

Hello my dear fandom, I rewatched properly the last episode, and I have to say... Many things had been written... And I was looking for Cas again... And hell yeah he was everywhere again!

This is another romantic post bc the last episode was talking about love all the time WRONG TOXIC LOVE AND TRUE AND REAL LOVE.

Let's see...

The talk? The moves?

Ok, we had innocent Jack asking this two question, he is ignorant about flirtation or love, so he is there with the best teacher: Dean Winchester.

This two questions caught my attention bc is reflecting what we were waiting since season 12 and more in season 13 to happen: THE TALK and THE MOVES.

The last episode (Nightmares Logic) we had Mary mirroring Cas all the time, and this particular conversation with Sam about how to talk with AUBobby. So I was thinking, are they Foreshadowing a real Destiel talk? And now after watching this episode I must say... Yes. They are.

This two specific terms... THE TALK and THE MOVES, are two things that Dean and Cas should finally do. But... What is blocking them to do it? Ok.. let's find out...

Dean thinks Cas doesn't love him in that way.

Gif credit @archangelgabriellives

And this fe

Gif credit @littlehobbit13

I had to put all this entire scene bc... Ok look at this, that's what Dean thinks about how Cas feels about him... Why he thinks Cas doesn't love him in the same way?? CAS already told him he loves him, but it was confuse, that time in the barn it was confused, Cas didn't get the words wrong but the attitude, he said "I love you" to Dean and immediately he turns to Sam and Mary and said the same line, SO DEAN THINkS CAS LOVES HIM AS FAMILY.

Since then, we had increased and failed intentions of talk. Dean closed more inside, repressing more and more his feelings, showing the "no homo" attitude he always had with Cas. And the fears.

Son in this scene we see how innocently, Jack describe the way Harper looked at him, "She was looking at me with those googly eyes" and Dean trying to cut "that crap" bringing reality to the topic "She is not in love with you" and "That's not how it works."

... this isn't enough to Dean. To Dean LOVE IS MORE THAN THAT. Love is DEEPER, AND CRAZY, AND SUFFERING, AND HAPPINESS, AND AND... Damn...

Dean is accepting he's in love. That he loves a man, Cas. He is in knowledge about this. He is learning to live with it... But he's struggling all the time inside beacuse of this, so things like googly eyes, or like hooking up (as Roweena and Gabe did) or even he hooking up with random waitress... "That's not how it works." He's talking with authority here, bc he knows what is truly love someone. And the following scene here...

Gif credit @mishalocked24

... he is showing us a lot but... Did you stop just a second to see... How Dean is talking about the "L" while smiling (thinking about his love) with that goofy smile that we make when we think about our love interest??

HE IS TALKING ABOUT THE "L" WORD PEOPLE!!!

And he is saying that Love is crazy, being in love is to be crazy, is loosing control of yourself, is doing crazy things. You are not thinking bc you are crazy for that person. He's the professor here, my friends.. he is TALKING ABOUT THE L WORD BC HE IS ACCEPTING THE LOVE IN HIS LIFE. THE LOVE HE FEELS FOR CASTIEL.

Harper as a mirror of Dean's journey in love.

"She is bad luck."

Ok, when I heard this, I said, this is Dean. Is Dean!! He feels HE IS BAD LUCK BC EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES IT BREAKS. Every single person that came to his life, that was part of his family, died. As Crowley said once.. he is bad luck. ANOTHER IMPEDIMENT TO SHOW HIS LOVE AND TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH CAS. He feels he doesn't deserve this, bc he is bad luck.

After this we were introduced into Harper's department... And it was so so Dean's inner desire of being loved! First of all, there were GREENS COMBINED WITH BLUE IN EVERY WALL. (Dean and Cas) and a red heart, and a legend: "Amore" love in Italian. And a blue couch in front of a red couch. And the bedroom was all in green and on the bed there were stuffed animals, so so innocent look about LOVE, so princess like. Waiting for being loved.

And I thought, this is Dean's head about love. He WANTS TO BE LOVED IN THIS INNOCENT WAY BC HIS HEART IS PURE AND INNOCENT as I said bf in my other metas.

Now... Here comes the spec and the sadness...

Foreshadowing the Destiel talk (again) and perhaps... A possible lovers separation.

"He left? Without you?"

And then I heard Jack saying this meanwhile Harper told him her love story. And I was like... Ok... What is this... And my mind, immediately, run with this...

Gif credit @hunenka

Mary... Mirroring Cas... And Dean saying goodbye to her and wishing her happiness... But this is not all the thing...

Sam was trying to convince AUCharlie to stay in the bunker bc "people needs people", and bc Charlie was sis u're of leave, Sam throws this line...

"Don't go"

So I thought... Another foreshadow!

Then yes we are having foreshadow for the Destiel talk but for a lovers separation too?

Now that I accepted my love for you...

And we had that zombie (Vence) in red too, representing Toxic Masculinity, and wrong love, and old Dean all at once (as was with all the monster we've had so far) and Jack trying to convince Harper that he was her true love. And Dean talking with this zombie telling "This is not love!" Ofc it isn't Dean! So kill your toxicity right now!

And then was Harper again, dressed in green... (New Dean, healing Dean) writing a love letter to her true love (Jack) and I saw this with hope in my eyes... But then i payed attention to the song that was playing...

"We are from differents worlds,

We travel for two differents path,

You loved me but in your heart

There's something else before me.

If we can't live together

Is better to live separated.

You'll go your own way, and I'll go mine.

The two of us starting from zero."

Sorry if the lyrics are wrong I translated from Spanish to English but the message is the same and it's clear... It talks about two lovers that must be apart... And IDK why yet but something is telling me that, there will be a Destiel talk... A blow out and a goodbye, be happy scene...

I hope this isn't going to be for ever... And just some episodes bc we need Dean and Cas to be happy, but if they are separate from each other... Well... They are not gonna be so...

And this is related too with the TV guide resume from Byzantium (14x08) where Cas goes to Heaven doing an enormous sacrifice... I was talking with @gneisscastiel about this and she has such interesting spec about this!

Ok... This is it my friends... I know, I know... This is a little sad but... Let's be positive and let's imagine Destiel becoming canon through this! Awwwww I need so much a huge and strong Destiel scene!

Oh! Aaaand all the parallels with the first encounter with Cas will be written in other post!

I like to put my ideas I diferentts meta and focus one by one! But I think you already know that. 😉

Ok... Tagging some friends here..

@emblue-sparks @mrsaquaman187 @magnificent-winged-beast @cheerstofandomfamily @evvvissticanteand everyone who wants to discuss!

Buenos Aires, Novembre 17th 2018 2:23 AM