#I don't think he ever changed his name bc I think it's stupid

[genericdragon]

Half-baked scientist OC that got recycled into "Charlie" from ADJ but also eventually became a scientist anyway???? Somehow??????? Idk just take it

[palskippah]

Hi! Over the last few months I've made these drawings of my Goldenheart fankid :D

He's Cyrus Goldenheart and he's my newest coolest baby and I love him very much.

Some stuff about them under the cut! And also other things and more drawings sjsj

-First off, know that Cyrus is his English name, because in Spanish he's Ciro Goldenheart- because Ambrosius is Ambrosio in the hispanic dub and that's very cool (also, I'm glad they didn't change Ballister's name to Trabuco and just left it as Ballister askdjsa)

-Also, I love the headcanon that in this universe family names come from the mash-up of last names to whatever sounds coolest. So Ballister and Ambrosius picked the last name Goldenheart (they could've been Boldloin but both were like hell no- And in Nimona's humble opinion, they were cowards)

>ALSO did you know that in the Latin Hispanic dub Ambrosius calls Ballister 'Balli' instead of 'Bal'? It makes it seem much more like a pet name and I love it.

>Also, headcanon that Ballister calls Ambrosius 'Ambrosito' when he's being particularly corny. (It works as a diminutive of his name with the -ito but also, osito means 'little bear' in Spanish, so it's a very cool pet name)

>Also, Ambrosoli, because that's a Chilean candy company, and I think it's funny.

>Now, since they're famous as knights and whatnot, imagine that Goldenheart was the name in which their fans referred to them as a couple- (I know that Balli had been considered a villain and an awful person and stuff after being framed, but I bet his fans came back after the movie ending and whatnot :''v) and then they got married and became the Goldenhearts for real, and people were like YEAH WAHOO bc they love them.

-Years after the movie, and after Nimona coming back and all the fixing their relationship thing, they got married and all, and had planned to adopt a kid some years later (because Ballister didn't want to have any babies himself), but then they found out they were expecting and were like 🧍🧍 (maybe my guy got too nervous and made the wettest wet cat eyes ever and that made Ambrosius be like Balli, it's okay, don't worry D: let's talk about this)

>Anyways there was the thing of do we have them or not, and then they had a conversation, like:

(Ballister, still with his puppy-under-the-rain eyes) "...do you want them?" (Ambrosius makes some noncommittally noises) "Do you?" "But do you?" "But do you? You should decide" "Yeah- I just want to know your opinion." "Yeah, but it's your body." "Yeah, but I wouldn't raise them alone, both of us would. Do you want a baby right now?" "But I don't want my opinion to affect your opinion, because you would have the baby and I know how you feel about that and I don't want my decision to affect your decision because it should be your decision... So, what's your dec-?" "For Gloreth's- Stop saying decision! (Ambrosius' stupid attempt at lifting the tension was successful, because Ballister's laughing) Do you want them, yes or no?" "Yes I do, but only if you want them too, and if you don't that's alr-" "I think I do!"

>Then, later that day, there's Ambrosius' like, so... are we going to have a baby? (doubtfully) and Ballister's like I don't know :( (apologetically, because he genuinely doesn't know pipipi)

>So anyways, after some more days of thinking (because he had the final say in it, of course), Ballister's like yeah let's have them and they're both like WOO WE'LL HAVE A BABY :D, and Nimona's like HA! You'll get huge! And congrats too, I guess, when she's told.

>And then like eight months go past and Nimona's like HA! I knew it! and Ballister's like shut the fuck up >:( I'm not in the mood right now and Nimona's like (waving her hands) fine, chill, boss. i'll make the joke later then. And Ballister stares blankly and goes ...thanks (y'know those silent stares he does like three times in the movie?) (I want to write down all the expecting headcanons I got but whwhwh)

-Ambrosius' like we have to name them something with C, so we're A, B and C :D and Ballister's like yeah :D! so they look for names with C, that's their only requirement.

-Ballister and Ambrosius had a long as hell list with names with C and whenever Balli was like hey we should decide on one soon, no? D: Ambrosius was like yeah let's pick one :D, but it never led to anything because they couldn't decide.

>As a placeholder they called the baby Baby and then forgot about choosing a name, and then they were the same day in the clinic/hospital going through the list while holding their very much already born baby and being like this one? no- or this one? what about-? and the problem with having so many options was that they couldn't decide on one.

>They weren't truly that much of in a hurry, because they could name him later, but still they felt guilty because they had had several months to have that ready (literally everything had been ready for their baby's arrival, except his name)

>Finally Nimona, after taking a small peek at their list, was like, y'know what? he looks like a Cyrus, he reminds me of the sun, (bc he was wearing soft yellows and stuff, maybe, and the bed's sheets in which Ballister was lying were a light blue) and both Ballister and Ambrosius looked at their baby and considered the name. So, he's named Cyrus.

-The news refers to him as Baby Goldenheart though. Very cute baby, the public agrees on.

>Then there's the debate of which dad he looks like the most, and baby pictures are pulled from years back and they're like LOOK (posts a pic of baby Ambrosius with his Gloreth's descendant mom) THEY LOOK ALMOST IDENTICAL (and they actually do, same eyes and nose, same curlier hair and round cheeks)

>Then when he grows up, he actually looks too much like Ambrosius, but also a tad bit like Balli (it's the black hair and eyebrows).

-Even after he's all grown up, his family still calls him Baby instead of his name. And he knows that if either of his dads call him Cyrus is because he probably fucked up.

-I have a headcanon for Ballister's father, he looked almost just like Ballister but had a more hooked nose and curlier hair, but same big eyes, also had a beard and stuff. The thing is that Baby has black, curlier hair too and people think it's just like a combination between Balli's dark hair and Ambrosius' curlier hair BUT NO it's his grandpa's 😭 pipipi

(Translation) Blackheart (in my head he's Blackheart idk why ashjds maybe Boldheart had been his unmarried name, and Balli changed his to that alongside his name): My love, you're the prettiest girl with that cloak! <3 Kid Ballister: Abba, but I don't want to be the prettiest girl :c Blackheart, grabbing Balli's nose: The handsomest then! Kid Ballister: Hehe! (thinking about Bluey's laughter for this one pipipi)

>Also, know that Ballister's name was an inside joke between the two, were his abba had said he was his 'ballister' (the pillar that kept him upright) (they usually talked in Urdu, not in English, Balli had a better vocabulary than him from watching TV and going to an English-talking school), and Balli had burst out laughing, saying 'abba, it's baluster!' and his dad was like 'nope! I'm pretty sure it's ballister!' just to see his little girl still laughing.

>Anyways, then he got arrested and stuff and Balli changed his name to that, and then there's this moment a year later where, in jail, he sees his girl (now a boy) for the last time in the news, where they show him as he will start his training as knight and Blackheart's super happy because his son is actually alright (he had been worried sick about him all this time) and y'know, point is that he dies shortly after that and Ballister finds out years later when he tried looking for him D:

>(If you tell me but Kym, ballister is already the correct word, I'll tell you huh because I actually have no idea, you know I speak Spanish :'''v I tried translating Balli's name and it got corrected to baluster each time ajsdka)

>By the way, Ballister's scar over his eye is from when he had been like three and had fell against a sharp end, causing a slash and a lot of bleeding that had almost made Blackheart die from a heart attack. He had hurried to take him to the nearest health center, all while Ballister had been crying with his face all drenched in blood, and his dad had been genuinely thinking that his little girl was about to die from his carelessness (he hadn't been looking when Ballister fell).

>The slash over the eye is the reason he knows for sure that that's his child on TV, standing beside the Queen.

>Anyways, I love angsty headcanons with parents.

>Got another headcanon that Ambrosius got two moms, both don't spend much time with him from being too busy, but they love their son dearly (and y'know that Ambrosius' voice actor said that the Director was his parental figure? Maybe since his moms weren't around much, he started to look up to her as a mother and- wa, IT'S JUST I read a headcanon/theory (?) about the Director grooming Ambrosius for her benefit and it made a lot of sense 100/10).

>Ambrosius' moms are cool, although they did sort of force him to start his training to become a knight when he was of age to go into the Institute (he either went to knighthood or the family business, his knight mom (who's currently retired from knighthood and working at their family company) showed him her cool sword to lure him in, and his businesswoman mom showed him some colorful statistics- of course the sword won), but he ended up loving knighthood (despite everything), so he doesn't hold a grudge against that.

>(wait i remembered that Korean tradition of sitting babies of a certain age in front of objects so they choose one and that dictates how they'll be in the future? pipipi)

>Random headcanon, but Ambrosius is actually a blond and dyes some parts a darker color to achieve the cooler hairstyle. Also, the 'every descendant of Gloreth was/is/gotta be blonde' is interesting and gives place for analysis and stuff, but I've got this one where every descendant of Gloreth has somewhat of bunny teeth or a silly smile, and that's better in this case because I don't have to make Baby a blond- but his smile, when he's older, reminds Nimona of Gloreth's.

-Baby is a sweetheart with absolutely everyone. He smiles and coos nicely whenever people try to entertain him.

>Except with Todd. Whenever he sees him he spits up his milk and Ballister's pretty sure that it's a very weird coincidence, but Ambrosius and Nimona hold up a debate, convinced that the hate for punchable faces must be genetic and untaught, given that Todd had always been nice with Baby. Ballister throws Nimona a look and she says, my trauma, my jokes, Boss. And Ballister has to reluctantly agree and accept that he can't argue with that.

>Headcanon too that Ballister had called his father abba (looked it up and that's a fond way to call fathers in Urdu, if I'm wrong sorry :'v), until he was arrested and eventually died, so he taught Baby to call him abba too, and Ambrosius taught Baby to call him daddy, and even in adulthood he calls them that. And then there's Nimona who tried to teach him to call them Boss and Goldie, but she never succeeded.

(Imagine Nimona and Baby sat in front of eachother on the floor of the living room or something) Nimona, who had turned to look like Ballister, pointing at themself: Who am I? Baby: Abbababa- (he's a lil confused but he got the spirit, he's getting there in understanding askjdsad Ambrosius is currently Dadada) Nimona: No, Baby, Boss! Boss, say boss! :D Baby: Abbababa (happily reaching for him) Nimona: No, Boss! I'm your boss! (a cutesy tone) I'm Boss, Baby! Yeah, who's a cute baby? :D It's you! (then she got distracted and started playing with him)

-Nimona is Baby's sibling/cool aunt/mentor/bad influence/babysitter/something something. She's not a Goldenheart (and she doesn't want to be, she's just Nimona) but she's happy to be a part of their family anyway.

>They're the Goldenhearts + Nimona :''v

>Also yeah, Nimona is Ballister's sidekick/child/lil' sibling/friend/little menace/something something. The point here is that they love and care for each other very much <3

>Also, Nimona is Ambrosius' first ever, #1 hater, and he doesn't blame her for that. (They got a cool relationship though, like they like to bicker and wrestle with each other, and Nimona always wins because Ambrosius isn't very trained in fighting snakes, crocodiles or gorillas or any weird animal for that matter) Both love Ballister and that's sort of their main point in common, among other things.

-For a very long time, Baby had thought that in the world existed several pink creatures named Nimona, just as several adults named Daddy existed, and many kids like himself were named Baby. His Abba's the only one named that though, it seems. Then, when he's like three, he starts to realize that Nimona is just one person, and that apparently his Daddy and Abba's names weren't that. Abba's name wasn't even Boss, like he had suspected, and Daddy's wasn't Goldie. And then, as if that wasn't enough for the day, they tell him your name is Cyrus. Imagine his surprise.

-Baby is a daddy's boy for real and he loves both of his dads so so much :'v He also loves Nimona very dearly.

>He sees both of his dads being affective with each other and he copies that, as well as other things. Holds Balli's face to look into his eyes directly (he doesn't know that what Ambrosius does is just touch their foreheads together), he smacks his mouth against Ambrosius' face, harshly, and leaving him full of drool as he tries to bite him (doesn't know how to kiss yet, but when he figures that out he's always giving them), smacks Nimona's head with his little hands (he's trying to pet her hair, like he usually sees his abba petting the pink creatures) and all that. He's very sweet I'm telling you waa :'''v

-Ballister and Ambrosius try not to make Nimona take care of Baby too much, but Nimona herself looks for chances to take care of him.

>Also when he had been just born, of course Ballister and Ambrosius were all sleep-deprived and busy, so she would transform to look like either of them and Baby wouldn't tell the difference. If all, he was happy when all of a sudden there were two of either of his dads :''v

-Dumb headcanon that when Baby cried at night, they usually went 'ro-sham-bo' about it, and every single time they do the same hand gesture, and at the fifth or fourth (depending on how tired he is), Ambrosius will go ah fuck it >:( and just stand up himself to see what Baby needs. This happens way too much, and Ballister knows, and Ambrosius knows too. Baby doesn't but he's glad that every time he cries, it's very likely that his daddy will show up after a while.

-I'm thinking that Ballister would be that kind of dad that used to be afraid of holding his baby when they were a newborn, and then plays with them roughly when they stop being too fragile.

(Translation) First part Ballister (walking): Okay- Careful... (First day out of the clinic) Second part: Ballister: Do I throw him your way, Nimona? Nimona: Yeah, throw him!

-Ballister is one for darker clothes and all that, but when they found out about Baby, he started getting the most colorful clothes for them. Whenever he went out for whatever reason during those months, he came back with at least one piece of clothing, be it a onesie, a pair of socks, a hat, or some cute overalls. Baby's clothes drawer had already been overflowing with clothes just a few months before he had been born, and they had to get another one to fit in all the clothes because Ballister refused to stop getting more.

>Something something him only using darker clothes since he was a little kid and his dad not being able to afford him a bigger wardrobe and wanting to give Baby all the stuff he didn't have - thinking about my mom in this sense, she said she had bought me so many cute clothes when I was a baby bc she had had to share all her clothes with her sisters and their clothes had never been that nice bc of money and :'v

-Broskii I got more headcanons from when they were expecting Baby and I want to tell them all to you BUT I gotta make another post exclusively about that pipipi

-I know that the creator of Nimona said that the Institution most likely got dissolved, but I think this thing works as the cops and police of investigations and stuff, so maybe they didn't dissolve it, but rather stated new policies and values to be taught to the current knights and also to the future generations. And this change still takes a lot of time to happen but it does happen so- yippie ?

>Sorry I say this just so Ballister and Ambrosius can still be knights pipipi. Ballister is Sir Goldenheart and Ambrosius is Captain Goldenheart.

>With that, comes this thought that Nimona gave a knife to Baby once and was like, be free, my child! like taping a knife to a roomba, and then Baby used it like a sword and ran happily to show his dads that he too was cool and had a very big knife like they do when they use their shiny clothes.

>(debating this one bc yeah Nimona loves chaos and hurting people and breaking stuff but she definitely wouldn't like Baby hurting himself, but I still drew this waa I love when babies want to be like their parents)

(Papi means daddy)

-When Baby grows up, he isn't very passionate about becoming a knight (like Ballister had been) and neither of his fathers were keen on forcing him on knighthood (like it happened to Ambrosius), so he dosn't become a knight when he's older, and takes an interest in sciences (blitzmeyer mentioned?? I know her design was used for the queen, but I don't care I'll fit her here one way or another she's my fav scientist) and goes to college and all that, he also likes mechanics and overall stuff that Ballister likes.

>And it's definitely because his abba had been talking to him about this stuff whenever he could (because he loves this stuff, and even before Baby was born, and since they were supposed to talk to the baby so they could recognize their voices, Balli just rambled about this and that, and sometimes even narrated what he was currently working on and stuff :'''v Expecting Headcanons my beloveds)

>And both Nimona and Ambrosius are like: Yeah, see? Even he agrees (about him forgiving Ambrosius a tad bit too quickly, even if both knights had been manipulated and stuff), while Ballister doesn't know if to be exasperated that they don't let the topic go, or laugh because it's pretty amusing how offended Baby is in his behalf over something that happened nearly five years before he was even born.

>Eventually they have to explain everything that surrounded the whole thing and Baby feels actually a tad bit bad for getting as angry as he got at Ambrosius. He's like oops sorry daddy 🧍(I'm still petty though)

>Baby hadn't talked much until he was around three or four, usually just answering things or repeating stuff whenever his dads tried to teach him new words, but then one day he answered a very long rant from Ballister about animals (nerd, had said Nimona) with more animal facts and both Balli and Nimona were like :0 And since then Baby hadn't shut up, and he's always talking.

> Since they share interests, he and Ballister talk a lot about stuff (Balli is like nice, there's two of us now, because Nimona doesn't have it in themself to listen to him talk 23348 hours about one thing, and Baby actually responds with yapping of his own, unlike Ambrosius who is glad to attentively listen to him for hours but doesn't do much more than be receptive of the information most times pipipi) (y'know when someone is talking passionately about something that they like but you don't, but you're happy to hear them talk anyways? that thing sjdj)

(is yapping the correct word? Over at TikTok they use it as talking a lot, so I picked it from context, I hadn't really looked up if it's correctly used sdjksd)

-Baby is a simultaneous bilingual and learned English, Urdu and Korean from his dads and Nimona.

>With this, I'd think Ambrosius was one too (given that he was exposed to English and Korean since he was a baby), but Balli had had to learn English when he was past three maybe since his dad hadn't been very good at it and had mostly spoken in Urdu? Not sure how languages would work in the kingdom, but I guess it's the same as countries where there are different dialects or languages in different regions. (? La verdad no sé, toy chamuyando skjds)

-When he's 14 he gets a growth spurt as expected but then gets even taller than Ballister, and Nimona finds it hilarious (she got surpassed in height two years ago) And he was expected to be tall anyways because both his dads were tall too, but Ballister was like c'mon >:(

-When he got old enough and learned about the whole Queen's death thing, he spent the whole afternoon throwing Ambrosius angry looks, arms crossed and all. And after a beat of silence, he'd suddenly say: No, and you know what angers me the most? and then would ramble about literally everything the man had done wrong at that moment, all while Ambrosius himself nodded in agreement. Then Baby would say (to Balli): You forgave him way too quickly, abba, I would've burned his house down or- I don't know- but how?! And just like that?!

-Nimona was determined on teaching Baby all she knew, and Ballister was like yeah it's okay if he turns out like you, but turned out that Baby is the most chill kid ever actually, like he lacks this wish for mayhem that many kids have, like Nimona hoped he'd have (like she expected the antichrist/chucky or something). In execution, at least, because he has great ideas, if Nimona's willing to make them true.

Baby, about seven: Nimona, and what if *a plan in excruciating detail of the most deranged nature* Nimona: HEHE YEAH >:D Let's do it! Baby: No, but you do it :) Nimona: huh ??

>And this is because he knows that Nimona can do all this better and he thinks it's funny to watch her wreak havoc, while also not getting in trouble himself. (His dads tell him be a good kid and he's like yup I'll be a good kid c:)

-Nimona draws Baby like a little star because he's small (plus there's Ballister drawing over her drawings, thinking about him picking Nimona's drawing habits of scribbling on top whatever comes to mind)

(Nimona's saying: make your own drawings! while trying to push him away, and Ballister's laughing - their arms are like in a weird position that in my head made sense shdjdh)

-Plus here's a drawing of Nimona having cat behaviors (becoming a loaf anywhere) (ronroneo means purring).

>When Baby hadn't been born yet, she'd loaf right over Ballister's belly and simply sleep or make biscuits sometimes, and when he tried to take her off himself, she'd try to not use her claws but she'd grab against his shirt anyways, going BUT BOSS- Baby and me are chilling! And this translated as Nimona loafing on top of Baby whenever he's quiet enough, after he's born.

-I made another post about the comic versions of Ballister and Ambrosius on TikTok, and added a comic version of Baby too, following the logic on his current design (Balli's hair and eyebrows, Ambrosius' nose and eyes, and all that)

>'Papito Corazón' in other countries means a very good, diligent father (? I think), and at least in Chile is used sarcastically for men that are emotionally or financially neglectful with their children 😭 Comic Ambrosius is one at the beginning, but he becomes a better father later on, promise sdjsjd

>This Baby had a hard time recognizing Ambrosius at the beginning because they didn't spend much time together, and Baby has no object permanence yet.

>Anyway, Ballister and Ambrosius aren't a thing here, it was sort of a enemies-with-benefits kinda situation that led to Baby :'v

>(also know that I haven't read the comic yet, so if this seems ooc I agree with you, because I really don't know these characters askdjsa sorry)

-ALSO here's the first drawings I made of him before settling on this design, also it's from when I was trying to draw Nimona sjjs

>He had brown hair instead of black, but the rest is all almost the same.

And that's it so far!

If you read till here, I hope you liked it!

Have these sillies kissing, it's from a video I did 🧍 Ambrosius gives Ballister 23783 kisses and Balli gives him one (1)

Also, the limit for images is 30, which is a shame because I wanted to add more stuff sjdjsd I'll make another post if I compile enough drawings to make a big post, or make that post about them expecting Baby

(I love the Nimona mains so so much, they're 24/7 in my mind)

[neiveel3llson]

Obey Me! Incorrect quotes

Diavolo trying to convince MC to continue being the babysitter:

NB Diavolo: "What are you talking about MC? You love it here!"

NB MC: "I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome."

Solomon being an old ass man:

NB Solomon: "The dinosaurs didn’t rule the earth they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn’t have."

Satan for no reason at all:

NB Mammon: "Do I sound smart, or am I smart? "

NB Satan: "You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest."

Leviathan being depressed:

NB Lucifer: "How are you today?"

NB Leviathan: "Please don’t make me think about my life."

Beelzebub being.. Beelzebub:

NB Beelzebub: "My stomach growled super loud in French."

NB Beelzebub: "I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class."

NB Leviathan: "Bonjour."

NB MC: "Le growl."

NB Mammon: "Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette."

NB MC now that they're a demon:

NB MC: "I am literally evil incarnate."

NB MC: "I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil."

NB MC: "Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort."

Solomon can't cook:

NB Solomon: "I truly go into househusband mode when I'm someone's soulhousemate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning."

NB MC: "This is a lie."

NB MC: "I'm literally living with him. This is a lie."

NB MC: "HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS."

MC just wants to go home:

NB Solomon: "I think I'm falling for you."

NB MC: "Then get up."

Levi is sick of Satan:

NB Leviathan: "Satan is okay."

NB Beelzebub: "He's okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause he gave me the mackerel eyes, he meant it!"

NB Leviathan: "Beel, Satan threatened me. He threatens Lucifer every day. He probably threatened Diavolo before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. Grow a pair."

Levi self-deprocating:

NB MC: "I'm going the fight the next person who insults Levi."

NB Leviathan: "I hate myself."

NB MC: "Alright, square up."

When MC first came:

NB MC, referring to NB Mammon and NB Diavolo: "Those guys are dorks."

NB Lucifer: "Yes, but they’re my dorks."

Belphegor annoying Lucifer on purpose:

NB Belphegor: "Lucifer, we have a visitor."

NB Lucifer: "Don't tell me it's our babysitter.."

NB Belphegor: "It's MC."

Lucifer being sick of Mammon's shit:

Lucifer: "The greatest trick the diavolo's father ever pulled was changing his name to Mammon."

Mammon bc he's my fav pookie:

Mammon: "So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?"

MC: "Depends. Is your bed comfortable?"

Mammon: "Yes."

MC: "I'd sleep."

Thirteen is going insane:

Thirteen: "Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time."

Diavolo is far too concerned:

*after discussing a plan*

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any questions?"

Diavolo: "Is this legal?"

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any relevant questions?"

Satan loves to boast:

Satan: "I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight."

MC: "What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?"

Satan, already taking off his clothes: "God, MC, you’re so fucking stupid."

It probably wouldn't work anyways:

MC: "Here’s the cold medicine you asked for." *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*

Thirteen: "...Thanks."

Levi and Garfield:

Leviathan: "I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer room in the basement of HOL with Cerberus."

Math doesn't work:

MC: "Which is correct, seven and five is thirteen, or seven and five are thirteen?"

Thirteen: "Niether."

Thirteen: "Because it's twelve."

Venomous or poisonous?:

Lucifer: "If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous."

Mammon: "What if it bites me and it dies?!"

Lucifer: "Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Mammon, learn to listen."

Diavolo: "What if it bites itself and I die?"

Lucifer: "That's voodoo."

MC: "What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Lucifer: "That's correlation, not causation."

Asmodeus: "What if we bite each other and neither of us die?"

Solomon: "That's kinky."

Barbatos: "Oh my goodness."

:P done

[pookietv]

soft anger | george clarke

i'm quite enjoying writing arguments with sweet resolves atm hehehehe so enjoy possessive george (bc i sure do yummy)

it was weird when your household became quiet, it barely ever happened. whether it was your music playing from the kitchen when you cooked or george yapping away to you or even the softer sounds of him recording in a different room, silence was not something that fell over yours and george's apartment often.

you and george were both more quiet angry types, a small argument of back and forth jabs, and then just bitten tongues until one of you finally broke the ice.

the problem with that? you and george were just about the most stubborn people on earth.

it had started as a silly thing. george had been a little jealous recently, which was fine, really. you tried your best to reassure him, make sure he knew you only wanted him and nothing could change that.

but that didn't mean you could completely eliminate the problem. the problem being a co-worker that george was dead set convinced had a crush on you.

"are you that blind that you can't see he wants to sleep with you?" george slyly mentioned as you went into the front room to grab something, and you rolled your eyes.

"george, it's getting pathetic now, he doesn't want to sleep with me," you said back, leaving the room as quickly as you had entered, hearing george's padding footsteps follow behind you.

"you haven't seen the way he looks at you, i mean jesus, he looks at you the way i look at you, it's not hard to tell," he retorted, the tone of his voice so reassured by his silly ideas.

you turned to face him, your usual widened eyes slightly narrowed as you huffed a little, facing the kitchen counter, back to him as you filled your waterbottle, not even dignifying this spat to stop you from doing what you had been doing anyway.

"george, stop it.” you said, your regular sweet tone slightly lower, and hardened. "you're being ridiculous."

you heard him scoff a little as you screwed the lid on your waterbottle, turning to face him.

"ridiculous? you think i'm ridiculous? you're stunning, course he fucking wants you,"

"so? it's not like he's going to sleep with me anyway, whether he wants to or not, so how is that my fault?" you bit back, his face slightly hardened now.

"what do you mean 'so'? what is so wrong about me being possessive and not wanting my girlfriend to be fantasized about in the work environment?" he said, his voice slightly risen in tone, a little louder.

"you're not being possessive you're suffocating me, for fucks sake george! i mean, what do you want me to do, quit work? never leave the house again in case anyone looks at me in a way you deem inappropriate?"

tension was thick in the air, the room almost seeming smaller, and warmer, the sound of the stupid kitchen clock ticking the only noise to be heard.

george's face was slightly reddened, his eyes narrowed, and his voice lower in a way that would be attractive if he wasn't being so damn infuriating. "don't act like i'm being unreasonable when he is literally drooling over you," he said, in an almost condesending tone.

"you're acting like i want or care about some random guys affection, like i'm begging for recognition and approval from strangers," you rolled your eyes once more, a slight click of your teeth followed, loud enough to make george's eyebrows furrow.

"you don't see it, it's... it's not about that," he said, his tone frustated, "or him, it's us!"

"us? we're fighting over some random co-worker that probably doesn't even know my fucking last name, george." you scoffed back, your tone matching his intensity.

"you're around him, all the time, and i can see how he sees you, and it makes me..." he trailed off slightly, exasperation apparent on his face.

"jealous?" you finished his sentence, voice dripped in sarcasm as his lips pulled inwards.

"no," he snapped back, "makes me feel like i can't protect you, like i'm not enough."

your face dropped for a moment, betraying a look of softened guilt. you knew what he meant, you knew he meant well and he wasn't trying to cut you off or suffocate you, but it had become like being smothered.

your tone was slightly more gentle, you didn't want to keep arguing, but you didn't know how the hell to make george see any of your point, "george, i love you, i have told you this a million times, it's you, i mean, i don't know what more-"

"prove it then," he said, his voice a more demanding tone, his glossed eyes hardened.

all the softness left your voice again, the tides you thought were changing rolled right back round.

"how am i supposed to do that? i can't change job because you think someone likes me, i can't change someone else's opinions of me, i mean what the fuck do you want me to do?" you bit back, the frustrated tone in your voice returned and evident.

george's jaw tightened a little, "i want you to trust me."

his voice was low, controlled, completely contrasted to his heated tone before, and his voice was almost wholly demanding if you didn't know him well enough to hear the slight vulnerability that bled through.

"i do trust you george, but trust is a two way thing." you said, words firm but tone softened, eyes glassed over slightly.

tense silence filled the room again, and you felt that familiar feeling, like the room was getting smaller.

"i'm gonna sleep in the spare room tonight, think we both need some sleep. get some rest, george. i'll see you in the morning," you said gently, unwilling to go through this cycle again as you were sure you'd either sob or rip your hair out, gently touching george's arm in a reassuring way as you walked past him, practically feeling his muscle melt for a moment.

"you don't like the spare room, you said it doesn't feel like your space," he said quietly.

he was right, it was george's recording room really with a bed in it incase anyone came to stay.

"i don't like the spare room, doesn't feel right. but i think a night alone will do both of us good, george." you said gently, your body turned back to him, stood in the middle of the hallway now, looking at him still stood in the kitchen.

"i'll take the spare room if you need space, i don't mind. you won't sleep if you're in the spare room." he said, his tone even and matter-of-factly.

"thank you, george. i'll see you in the morning. love you," you said softly, turning into yours and george's shared room.

you were a stickler for that sort of thing, no matter what argument or situation, always say love you. cause an argument didn't mean love was gone, it just meant there were issues that needed to be sorted.

you knew yourself you probably wouldn't sleep, even if you were in your room compared to the spare - you knew well enough yourself that you struggled to sleep without george.

so after a couple hours gone by, and against your better judgement, you gently opened the door to the spare room, seeing george laying on the bed, eyes tired but not asleep, head turning to you once he heard the door creak, sitting himself up slightly.

"can't sleep." you murmured into the dim room, and you saw his silhouette nod.

"me neither," he said gently, and the room was peaceful for a moment.

"i'm sorry, i just didn't wanna lose you." he said, breaking the silence, and you nodded softly, practically crawling into the space next to him. you felt his hands brush through your hair gently, you tiredly leaning into the touch.

"you're not gonna lose me, i've told you that." you said gently.

"i know. i'm just an idiot, that's all," he said, his voice slightly thick from not speaking for a while, and gentle in tone.

"i'm sorry too," you said, breaking the sound of your breathing and occasional creak of the not so comfy single bed, "i was being defensive, and a little angry."

george laughed gently, "i don't blame you. it's okay, lovie."

you lifted your head up slightly to look at him, and felt his head press gently against yours.

"we're being stupid," you whispered, and you saw his lips curve into a softened grin, "yeah, we are."

"okay, get your fat head off me and we can both come sleep in our room?" you teased gently, hearing george huff a little jokingly, but standing and following you instantly.

when morning came, yellow glow flitted through slight gaps in the curtain, making you stir slightly and reach for the other side of the bed for warmth, and instead met with an empty spot. you almost thought you had imagined making up with george in a wishful idea of a dream, until you woke a little more, smelling coffee and hearing gentle humming from the kitchen.

pulling a sweatshirt from the bedroom floor before being willing to leave the comfort of the bed, and into the cold apartment, you gently walked to the kitchen, greeted with george with his back to you.

"george?" you said gently, and you could almost feel him jump before he tutted you, a playful grin on his face.

"you weren't supposed to wake up! i'm supposed to bring it to you," he said, his voice gently teasing, and you giggled a slight bit, sitting yourself down on one of the stools of the breakfast bar bit of the kitchen, facing his back as he fiddled on the bench.

"you're sweet, but i'm sure i can manage whatever it is here," you joked back, watching him as he brought over a plate and a mug of coffee, placing it down in front of you.

"dippy eggs and soldiers," he said with a dopey grin, and you smiled up at him as he kissed you gently on the forehead, before you looked down at the plate, and george's attempt at breakfast.

"and these soldiers were... wounded in battle?" you teased slightly, but he rolled his eyes and shook his head as he moved his plate next to yours, shoving a piece of toast in his mouth.

"hey, respect the soldiers man," he said mock sternly.

[noellefan101]

Nick-Names - Genshin

Characters: Xiao, Scaramouche, Venti, Lyney, Albedo, Kaveh, Thoma, Diluc, Childe, Heizou, Kazuha x GN reader

Warnings: a lot of cheesy and weird nicknames, if you dont like some for a specific char you're welcome to send me your ideas, could be modern au, established relationship

(you can clearly see that i prob put in an OC, so im so sry, but some i just also really head-canon as the "would rather date a loving person than be loving" if you get what i mean)

Summary: both of your pet names for each other, some silly some sweet

Note: you can really tell where i had no ideas for nicknames. and ik i use both 'pet names' and 'nicknames' but im just kinda stupid and didnt care to change stuff when i was already done with it. also i may just have a problem but why does princess sound 10x better than prince, no matter your gender, anyway love youuuu

Xiao

He will always say what is on his mind, and he did the same thing when you brought up using pet names. he wasn't very fond of the idea, and sometimes he still isn't(depending on the situation). but he has gotten used to it more over time, like when you burst open his door and to talk to him while using the most absurd nicknames he´s ever heard of.

__

Pet names for you: lovely, qinxing, [shorter version of your name](sry people with short names, i fell ya)

Pet names for him: babe, baby, cutie, dove, birdy, my alatus

Scaramouche

Will never admit he likes being called weird things by you, EVER. if he did then he was drunk and he was totally lying. and that counts with calling you stuff as well, he would rather die than admit he doesn't just call you that bc you wanted him to.

__

Pet names for you: idiot, princess/prince, dear

Pet names for him: smoochi, love

Venti

He was probably the one who suggested the idea at first, like two days/weeks (seconds) into your relationship. i also think he already had at least one nickname for you when you were "just friends", in the crushing phase, and has some for all his other friends as well(prob also his teachers if school au, lul).

__

Pet names for you: windblume, cecilia, [insert the cheesiest thing you can think of], my love

Pet names for him: venni, my dear, sweetheart, my bard

Lyney

He would be over the moon if you gave him a nickname, and would instantly be looking like a tomato too. would increase its usage by tenfolds if you said you liked one of his nicknames. you cannot stop him even if you somehow got 'Father' involved.

__

Pet names for you: babe, mon trésor, mon amour, beautiful

Pet names for him: sweetie, amour, lyn

Albedo

He didn't really see a use for it at first, finding it kind of useless. but sooner or later realized how happy you looked when he had somehow slipped up and called you 'love' when he needed your assistance. and later just didn't bother to stop.

__

Pet names for you: love, my cecelia, my dear

Pet names for him: 'bedo, lovely, (my) genius

Kaveh

He LOVES nick-names, probably made one for everyone in the friend group(yk alhaitham, tighnari n cyno), and would be delighted to make some up for you.

__

Pet names for you: beloved, lovely

Pet names for him: baby,

Thoma

He really wanted to try using them, yes he calls Ayato and Ayaka my lord and my lady, but its just not the same as calling your lover something sweet. and good luck if you don't like it, he's keeping those names forever.

__

Pet names for you: babe, sweetheart, baby, sleepyhead, lovely

Pet names for him: babe, love

Diluc

He honestly wasn't a fan at first, he hated it even. but of course, you being you, insisted on using names for him, and encouraged him to at least try to use some for you. so he kinda got into routine with it.

__

Pet names for you: my love, my dear

Pet names for him: dear, red head, love, my hero

Childe

Of course, he would use nick-names and such, he uses nick-names for the traveler and paimon, so of course he would be using such with you. honestly how could he not, especially when you're looking all cute cuddled up in his hoodie.

__

Pet names for you: my love, beloved, cupcake

Pet names for him: ginger, ma strong man(only for teasing purposes), hubby

Heizou

He'll almost never call you by your actual name, he didnt even when you two were just friends, only in the most serious of times would he do that. so it was no surprise that when you actually started dating, they could only become sweeter and cheesier as time goes by.

__

Pet names for you: princess/prince, baby, beautiful, (my) sunshine

Pet names for him: hei, zou-zou, babe

Kazuha

He loves it bc no matter what you call him he'll be happy. and he makes sure you have "some" as well, and i guess he just can't stop coming up with more, and they're always more cheesy than the last. you don't know how he does it, but maybe its just his poetry skills coming through.

__

Pet names for you: dove, (my) love, sweetheart, sweetie, my dear

Pet names for him: kazu, dear

thank u for reading whatever this thing is(totally not a filler bc i habe been working on that streamer au for too long), luv ya-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[poetryandfluffycats]

can you please do mika x fem reader nsfw with him giving her lots of body praise bc shes insecure and calling her a good girl?

A/N: I finished this in like a day so very sorry if it seems rushed or half-assed, I just really liked my idea for it. enjoy!

Pairing: Mika Kagahira x fem!reader

Content: Lingerie is the best way to spice things up in the bedroom, at least that's what the lady behind the counter had said. Trying on lingerie with your boyfriend should be a fun experience, but your mind just can't comprehend that. Luckily, Mika is there to cheer you up, in his own special way.

Warnings: NSFW, oral sex(f receiving), public sex, lots of petnames(pretty girl, good girl, my girl), negative self talk, insecure reader

Words: 1.5k

NSFW oneshot under cut!

The dressing room was as stuffy as it always was, small and filled to the brim with posters and ads advertising the latest sales of the store you were in. Some tacky, cheap lingerie store Mika had dragged you into. The kind the sold the most outrageous designs made with the worst fabrics possible and then marketed to young woman as if it were some sort of high end luxury brand.

Colours of pink, purple, and green were scattered all over the floor, a sea of your failed attempts at finding a sexy outfit fit for you. A eye-shadow wearing teen behind the counter had told you that lingerie was the absolute best way to spice up your bedroom relations, but you figured out early into this fashion show that her words must have been a lie, because none of what you put on looked good at all!

"(name)? Why don't ya try on this one?" Mika's green head of hair poked through the thin curtain of the dressing room, in his hand a set of black, lace, crotchless panties and a matching bralette with tiny embroidered lace hearts over where the nipples would go. "I think ya'd look real pretty..."

You eyed him, then the clothes, then him again, before snatching the item out of his hands and hiding it behind your back, as if it were some forbidden object he wasn't allowed to look at. "I don't know, Mika... maybe we should just leave"

As if he were in compete desperation, Mikas bottom lip stuck out and he looked into your eyes with the biggest puppy dog expression he could muster. It was a look he used on you more than often, a look that always got him what he wanted.

"Please? I've been feelin' bad, since I don't buy ya nice things an' all. Let me do somethin' for ya just this once!"

With those eyes and that dopey grin, it was hard to say no to the man. How could you when he always looked so adorable? You didn't like to disappoint a face like that, and It wasn't like you were trying to! The main reason behind your heastaince towards the skimpy get-ups Mika has throwing at you was well, stupid in all reality, but you were worried he wouldn't like what he saw.

Yeah, stupid, but the whole time you stood in that tiny room surround by the tiniest pieces of clothing known to man, the only thoughts that managed into your mind were negative. Thoughts of how you looked silly, weird, thoughts of how it looked like you were wearing someone else's skin when the lingerie was on your body.

Sick, ugly feelings. Ones that made you feel like all the organs in your body were rearranging themselves.

"Do ya not like it?" You must have zoned out whilst changing, because Mika was now standing right beside you, eyebrows knitted in concentration-like he was trying to read your mind.

You gulped, eyes scanning over yourself in the dirty mirror. You didn't look bad, per say, but not practically good, ever. The lace of the panties sat comfortably around your waist, but the way the fabric hugged your curves in a way that nearly made them budge out didn't feel right to you. The embroidered hearts of the bralette were cute enough, and the way the bra itself pushed your breasts together was a nice touch, but again, something didn't feel right.

Didn't feel like you.

"Its not that, I mean, its nice, I'm just..." You trailed off, searching for the correct words to try get out what you were thinking without really explaining it in depth. Mika didn't need all your problems dumped onto him all at once, and there was nothing he could do about it even if you did. "I'm just not feeling it"

"Why not? Yer gorgeous! Most beautiful in the whole wide world!" His grin stayed, but there was a new look of confusion, and even a bit of sadness that filled his features. "Ya could be a model, I think. I'd watch any show ya were in, I'd be like, ya number one fan!"

"Don't say those sort of things" Hot red spread to your cheeks as you adverted your gaze to the ground. Compliments from Mika were a daily thing, that's just the way he was, but they still never failed to make you smile despite your personal internal struggles. "Not now, its embarrassing"

"But I'm right!"

The boy in front of you made a sound that could only be described as whimpering, pout on his lips widening to the point where you thought his cheeks might simply explode, before he lunged forward, arms wrapping around your middle and pulling you close into his chest. You stumbled a bit, almost falling out of his hold and flat onto your face, but managed to steady yourself by gripping onto his jacket.

"It's not fair" Mika whined into the crook of your neck, leaving feather-light kisses all down the bare skin. His words were muffled from his mouth being pressed so tightly against you, but you could just make out what he was saying. Just...

"Yer perfect, but ya don't know it" Another kiss, this one maybe with a bit more tongue and trailing further down your neck. "That's sad, but I don't like when yer sad. Can I help ya not be sad?"

Was this even the right place for such a question? Mika was a strange man-part of what attracted you to him in the first place was his eccentricities-but this? Was this normal in his eyes? You felt as if your legs might melt into a pool of jelly on the floor, the only thing keeping you upright being Mikas hands holding you in an embrace.

His hold was tight, but soft, his lips on your neck were light and loving, but also so rough and longing at the very same time. God, what were you to do with him?

"What are you trying to do?"

"Hm, dunno" Mika giggled, the precious sound bouncing off the walls. His hands holding you in place began to travel down your back, rubbing over every single bump and cervice of your spine as he slowly lowered to his knees. "I started thinkin' 'bout how I could help ya out, but uh, I got a wee bit excited, but that's okay. I know how to help ya now!"

"Mika, are you fucking serious-"

"Yup! Be a good little pretty girl for me, mkay?"

You barely had time to breathe before Mikas head dove in between your thighs, nose deep in the heat of the crotch less part of your underwear. He took a few deep breaths in, inhaling the scent of you like you were a fresh ocean breeze and he was a man who'd be stranded at sea without water for months. His tongue darted out to give a few tester kitten licks, before fully driving in and licking a full circle around your hole-which was dripping wet already.

"Imma make ya feel real nice, (name)" His voice was like a vibrator against your core, each word sending shivers of arousal up your spine and straight to your brain, clouding it with pleasure, making you forget all about those nasty thoughts of before. "Yer a good girl, so pretty, my pretty lady. Love yer taste so much~"

"Ah!~ M-Mika! We're in public!" You hissed, slapping a hand over your mouth as a moan threatened to slip from your throat. "We're gonna get caught!"

"Nah, don't care. Let em hear, then everyone'll know just how pretty ya are, yeah? And that ya got the best boyfriend to please ya"

A silent sob left your lips as the tip of Mikas tongue entered your hole, flicking up and down and teasing you just perfectly. He knew your body so well, knew where to press up on to make you squirm and whimper, where to suckle to make you scream, he knew it all. Like a mastermind of your body, one might say.

"Pretty, pretty, pretty" Mikas words were like a mantra as he worked. Each and every one of them had you spinning, eyes rolling to the back of your head as the knot in your belly grew hotter and hotter, getting ready to combust at any moment. "Gonna call ya pretty till the day I die, that okay? Yer the prettiest, and I'm the luckiest because you're the prettiest!"

"Christ! Mika! I'm-"

The knot finally snapped, a blinding white light filling your vision for a split second as heat flooded your body. Mika stayed in between your legs for a little while, lapping up all the juices that spilled out from inside you, drinking them like a fine wine. Once he was finished-and once your high was subsided, leaving you a panting mess in the dressing room-he licked one final long stripe up your pussy, wiping the area off with his jacket sleeve before pulling himself back up.

"So, we're buying this one, then?"

[cowboymantis]

🚦🚦🚦TRAFFICBLR I HAVE SUCH GOOD SHOWS FOR YOU THAT GIVE THE SAME BRAINROT AS THE LIFE SERIES 🚦🚦🚦

I've been meaning to do this post for so long now, but last Wild Life session being everyone having superpowers finally gave me the motivation-

Have you ever heard of Kamen Rider? No? Now you have. Kamen Rider is a Tokusatsu (Japanese practical effect focused genre, in the case of Kamen Rider it's a superhero-type Toku) show that has existed since 1971, but gets new seasons with new characters/worlds/stories every time.

And every now and then, there are seasons that just give me those brainworms like the Life Series does. And I need to share with you the seasons that I especially enjoyed as a Life Series fan 🥺 I don't think there's much overlap in the fandoms, because they're such different ones, but trust me on this one.

Do you like...

- death games

- time loops

- ever repeating death games in time loops

- characters being forced only to watch while their friends are continuously killing each other in every timeline

- people being silly :3

- absolute insanely intense homoerotic drama (it's one of those things I think both fandoms enjoy a lot from what I've seen 🧍‍♂️)

- watchers and eye-themed admins making sure the game is going as planned

- winners and/or last man standing of a battle royale type game never really winning because it will all repeat anyway and they have to compete and fight strangers and friends all over again

- everyone dying, no one ever really winning in this inescapable fight

... then you will love several Kamen Rider seasons! I'm being so vague and try not to say which season is which of those things named. But some also fit multiple. Those seasons I present first all have a very similar theme, like the Life Series.

Kamen Rider Ryuki, Kamen Rider Blade, Kamen Rider Geats, Kamen Rider Gaim.

Fun fact! Any Madoka Magica fans here? The creator of it loved Kamen Rider Ryuki so much, it was one of his main inspirations for Madoka Magica. (Very noticable... /pos) And after that he also created a Kamen Rider season, and that is Gaim. So if you love PMMM like me, oh you will be eating GOOD with those seasons!!

Also, some random imagery from Geats. The command buckle forms (pictured on the left), I just put out of fun bc they have Hotguy or Gigacorp colours, which Hermitcraft fans will be very familiar with 😌

And on the right, one of my points from earlier, eye-themed admins. Not really a spoiler to just tell you that straight up, don't worry. Also I guess you could say at one point there's something similar to the boogey..??

Anyway, the picture on the bottom... Do I even have to say anything? DO I??? WATCHER MOMENT??

I don't have anything to show for Ryuki, Blade and Gaim, I think? Or rather, nothing that wouldn't be too spoilery. Those are seasons that fr you just need to take in and take over your life and give you brainworms.

One thing I can say about them is that they have forever changed my brain chemistry and I think about them daily and whenever I think of them I want to scream . Real

OH UHH yeah Ryuki has a character named Ren wow! So many similarities! Well, actually, I guess I need to show you Shinji, the protagonist. Because if you love the silly idiots of the Life Series, you will love him too. One of my favs ever and he's so so silly. So stupid. Such an idiot. Everyone hates him and wants him dead and he just wants to make frens... His only crime was being too silly...

Now, there are two more seasons I want to recommend.

Kamen Rider OOO, Kamen Rider Ex-Aid.

Okay, this is a bit shorter, so first starting off with Ex-Aid. Another season I love SOSOSO much. Anyway, it is videogame themed yippie!! And there's an insane game master with a god complex whee!! Also uh... The newest Wild Life episode reminded me . So much. Of Ex-Aid. Because of the zombies. Since there is a character here who basically becomes a zombie and continuously dies in the silliest ways only to literally respawn again. So yeag.

Another thing, I love suit designs that, and I genuinely don't know if this was intentional, look like they have moustaches 😭

This season also has my #1 fav Kamen Rider character!! :3 ONCE AGAIN last Wild Life session, I had to think about this character too. Because of Bdubs powers...

Anyway.

NOWWW... KAMEN RIDER OOO...

One of the funniest and most dramatic and gayest seasons of Kamen Rider fr. I love it so much.

Did you pay attention to the OOO poster? The colours? Yeah, people who love Kamen Rider OOO in the fandom will often put a 🚦in their bio or name. Just like a certain other fandom right...

Funnily enough, ever since I've gotten into Kamen Rider a while back, there's often fanart where I can't tell at first if it is OOO or Life Series fanart. Yeah. Shall I show you why this might be the case? Let me pick some random Kamen Rider OOO screenshots:

Those two idiots are LITERALLY desert duo. Like. I don't know what to tell you. It's just insane 😭

And I know, scarian is a super popular ship (personally I don't ship it, I absolutely love their silly dynamics tho and all), and so are them!!!

We got Ankh, a so-called Greeed, being the angry blonde red-themed bird sidekick of the main character Eiji's silly superhero character (Calling it superhero is always so weird- but it's kinda hard talking too Toku-y for people new to it), who is maybe also secretly a little bit messed up. They are the ultimate doomed yaoi too, if you like that lmao? 😭 I'M PULLING ALL THE STRINGS TO GET MORE PEOPLE INTO KAMEN RIDER!!!

On top of that, even with all the drama happening later on in OOO, it has to be one of, if not the funniest season, at least to me!!

There's so much sillyness happening and I just love it..

Also this famous scene:

SO WHAT TO YOU SAY DO YOU DEFINETLY ABSOLUTELY WANT TO WATCH KAMEN RIDER NOW?? GOOD!!

((Sidenote. If you do decide to and are a bit clueless as to where to watch, you can always ask me what who said that nothing suspicious going on here Toei assassins-))

[localkiss]

Princess Sprinkles!

Vendetta Chris Redfield x fem reader!

cw: dd/lg, creampie, squirting (guys idk how squirting feels like....), multiple orgasms (reader), fingering, pet names, praise kink, oral fixation (reader obv), light mentions of breeding, soft dom!Chris!!, afab terms used, size kink ish.., Chris being silly, Chris being a lil mean one time, and some fluff :3 !! — Lmk if I missed anything.

wc: 2005 !! (🤭 birth year go crazyy LOL!)

notes: if you don't like ddlg just um. Idk don't read 💀!! I fr try not to make the reader teeny tiny but like dude Chris is huge asf.. size kink go brrr 🧎🏻‍♀️! I'll be making reader a lil squishy from now on bc I'm not skinny either ☝🏻.Also I used to watch the Bratz babyz movie on repeat sm that the disc got ruined 😭😭 soo.. yes that part is directly from yours truly! Not proof read 😵‍💫

tags: @argreion, @rigorwhoring bc ily guys 😇!!

"Daddy!" You squeal as soon as Chris picks you up and spins you around. Making your fluffy mini pleated skirt twirl upwards.

Chris hoists your pretty body over his shoulders and pats you on the butt, practically skipping towards your shared bedroom. It looks like someone dumped all the squishmallows possible into the master bedroom. He can't help but think of you every time he sees a stuffed animal. Shits rooted in his brain. Stuffies = his angel!

Yeah, he might have to fight with them to make room for himself, but he wouldn't trade it for any other way. He doesn't actually fight them, knowing you'd throw a hissy fit and say "Hate daddy! Forever 'n ever!" Chris's heart shatters like glass whenever you say that.

He's grown softer because of you and those little threats of yours make his heart drop down to the core of the Earth. Would he admit it to team Alpha? No. Never in a million years. But they've got eyes and ears, they're not Patrick Star. Dumb and living under a rock.

Lately he's been covered in hickeys and cute little doodles that're supposed to be like tattoos by yours truly. Goes to work and gets teased by his squad, telling him how you've got him wrapped around your pretty little finger. How much you've changed him, for the better. He always shrugs them off, putting them back to work.

You for sure made Chris cut back on smoking a fuck ton. Constantly crying about how the stench will ruin your stuffies and the coat the walls of the house with a film. You're right, that's for sure. And the fact that second hand smoke is even worse is what clicks it into his head for him. His baby. His sweetheart, could end up dying because of his stupid ass habits.

Chris has lost too many of his men because of his habits. Too many good men. You are his savior. He pounds away the guilt into your needy little cunt. Constantly craving him. Needing him. Loving him. Honest to God, he needs that more than anything in this lifetime.

"Sweetheart," he sighs and sets you down onto the bed. "I missed you. Whatcha been up to?"

"Slept 'n colored and um... Ate some snackies, watch movie, 'n had lotsa juice!" You mumble, eyes glancing around the entire room. Using your hands to talk, as your words get slurred when you're in this state of mind.

Chris presses a faint kiss to your temple and noses down to the underside of your ear. Carefully holding the back of your head with his hand. He gives you more kisses and blows raspberries into your ear, making you squeal and swat at him.

"That's good baby. Glad you had a productive day." Chris smiles at you lovingly.

Your heart then swoons, making you feel all mushy inside. Praise gets him everything from you. Just like you crying out for daddy gets you everything from him!

He lazily starts to unbuckle his belt, pulling it through the loops. Setting it down on the bedside table with a thud. He starts to undo his fly, pushing his pants all the way down, kicking out of them.

Only dressed in his boxers and shirt, he engulfs you with a hug. Nuzzling into your neck, feeling your hands grab ahold of his shirt.

"Daddy?"

"Just recharging honey, hold on." His voice is deep and gruffy, sending chills up your spine.

You lay there, body buzzing with warmth as his figure presses you into the mattress. His hips shift and move against yours, causing you to gasp.

Thighs squeezing against his fit waist and he sighs into your neck. "Daddy's not charge. He excited..." Your fingers tug on his shirt and he sits up.

"Off?" Pointing to his shirt and you clumsily remove your own shirt and skirt. Now both of you are only in your underwear. Well, you still have your white thigh highs on, but still.

He presses your thighs up to your chest and settles in the middle as best as he can. Feeling his skin on your skin feels like heaven. Makes your panties wet, which he's noticed but doesn't want to say anything about it. Knowing you get all shy and embarrassed when he points things out like that. He likes it. Thinks it's cute that you want skin ship.

"So pretty baby," he pushes his hips forward. His cock catching onto your clit with each slow roll. "Pretty pussy, pretty tits. Pretty girl. My pretty girl."

Chris leans back and gets rid of his boxers. Pulling your panties up to slip his cock between your folds. Laying back down on top of you. Humping you instead of fucking you.

You can't complain, his tip his pressing against your clit nicely. Your hips rolling up to meet his and his dick slips inside.

He bottoms out immediately with a growl. "Baby. Did I say you could put it in?" Chastising you with a rough thrust, acting like it's your fault his dick slipped inside of your tiny hole.

"Daddy, didn't mean to. Not m'fault," you whine out, kicking your legs.

"S'okay. Daddy will make it all better." Chris presses a kiss to your forehead and acts like he's going to pull it out. Only to harshly thrust it back into you. "Fuck, princess. She's not wanting to let me go. You hear her crying for me?"

Moaning, you dig your nails into his back, "Daddy, daddy, never leave," you start babbling already.

He groans and rabbits his hips, making the bed rock against the wall.

"Wait, daddy, stuffies no want look, turn," you try to speak as he continues to fuck you like he hates you.

"Shit, okay baby. Hold on," he grunts and turns them around as best as he can. "Better now?"

You nod and go in for a kiss and he meets you halfway. Drooling into your mouth and your tongues swirl together before you suck on his. Moaning as he drives himself deeper inside of you. Squelching sounds and skin on skin echoing in the bedroom. Surely you guys won't get a noise complaint this time!

He spits into your mouth and smears it all over your lips with his thumb, pushing it into your mouth. Who needs a pacifier when you've got daddy's thumb?

Watching your eyes flutter shut and your lips wrapping around his thumb, it sets him off. His other hand driving down between you both and rubbing harshly at your puffy nub.

Biting down, you furrow your eyebrows. Breathing quickly and moaning softly. "Close," you hum around his digit. Sucking on it as you get closer and closer.

Chris's dick hits a special spot inside of you and your body shakes underneath him. Pussy trying to push out his cock as a clear liquid shoots out of you.

"Goddamn, baby, squirting on me, mmhh—fuck..." His hips falter and he dumps his cum inside of you. Resting his body on you, burying you into the bed. Making sure his cum never leaves you.

Chris pulls his thumb out of your mouth and kisses you feverishly. "Putting a baby in you, s'that alright princess?" Your pussy agrees by clenching around his thickness.

But he's acting like you've got a choice, since he's already done the deed. He pulls you up into his arms and you guys slowly make your way to the bath. Still connected and full.

Keeping you in his arms, he reaches down to turn on the water and put in the plug. You giggle and some of his cum starts to spurt out and drip down his balls. He settles in the tub with you on his lap, grabbing the soap to fill it with bubbles.

Chris slowly lifts you off of his length and sets you between his legs. Back pressed against his hairy chest. While his cum dribbles out of you.

His fingers make their way down to your sensitive cunt and slowly dips them inside. "Shh, I know baby," pressing soft kisses to your cheek as you whine and claw weakly at his forearms. The other one is keeping you pressed against him.

"Daddy's helping you baby," he starts to curl his fingers and your legs shake. Clearly overstimulated from earlier. But Chris starts to be a bit greedy, smacking his palm against your pretty little pearl.

Throwing your head back against his shoulder, he coaxes you into another orgasm. With the disguise of helping you get his cum out. If anything, he's trying to fuck it back into. Serious about putting a mini him or you inside of your tummy.

"Baby, almost there. Y'got it princess.. mmh.. cum one more time for daddy? Promise I'll clean you up and get us some donuts with sprinkles on 'em, just the way you like." Man, he's even bribing you! Daddy knows what you really want right now. So you whimper in response.

"Daddy, mmhhff... Daddy oh god! Please, please, please!" Your heels dig into the tub as the water fills it. His lips sucking and biting into your neck is what makes you cream around his digits.

Body convulsing and breath raggedy and higher as you come down from your second high of the night. Chris grabs your face and kisses you all over, mumbling praises into your skin. "Good girl, daddy's so proud of you."

Then, he takes his time washing you off, letting you play with the rubber duckies and splashing water onto him. Putting bubbles on his beard and making one for yourself.

"I daddy! See?" You pout and furrow your eyebrows, taking a drag of an imaginary cigarette. Chris rolls his brown eyes and takes the imaginary cigarette and puts it out.

"Babies can't do that stuff, remember? Only daddies can do that, silly baby girl." He wipes the bubbles off of your face and his, nibbling on your earlobe. Making chewing noises, "Om nom nom, my baby tastes so yummy!"

You squeal and press your face into your shoulder. "Daddy! Got wash so we can eat nummy donut! Donut sprinkle!"

He hums and gets to work. Gently washing your back and hair as you wash your front side and down to your toes. Chris hauls you up and he turns on the shower to wash your hair and his. God knows he needs this shower after training his new squad mates today.

Chris washes his own figure as you cup the water in your tiny hands and splash it up in the air. Watching you pretend you have powers as the water runs down your arms and to the tips of your fingers.

"Alright princess. Let's go get some sprinkled donuts," he pats your heart shaped ass with a chuckle. Wrapping you in a fuzzy towel, he gets to work drying you off. It reminds you of that Bratz babyz movie. Sure reminds him of it too. From how often you guys watched it, the CD stopped working and you threw a fit.

So of course, he bought a couple more, just in case. It's not like he doesn't have the money for it. So why not keep his baby sated with something so simple as a 2000s movie? He even bought you some Bratz dolls and monster high ones. Likes how you squeal and jump around in excitement every time he buys you something so simple as a doll. Makes him happy.

"Princess sprinkles and daddy sprinkles! Getting donut sprinkles! Sprinkles, sprinkles, sprinkles!" You laugh as he puts on your blue matching cinnamoroll pajamas that he spent fifty dollars on. Worth it in his opinion. Looks so cute on you, he can't help but press kisses all over your cheeks.

"Alright, alright, princess sprinkles. Let's go get in the car. Daddy'll buy you all the chocolate sprinkled donuts there is at the bakery." Chris's heart thumps in his chest. Yeah, there's a sprinkled shaped hole with a sprinkle version of you in his heart.

[sant-riley]

[Ghost, Soap and Price when you ask them "would you get my name tattooed on you?"] headcanons

A/N: This is for fun, no one requested it but I love tattoos and I got some soooooo here we go!

A/N 2: this was started back in December lmfao whoops, anyways this is just some random thoughts .

Ghost:

Ghost is gonna either A) look at you like you're stupid as fuck or B) call you stupid as fuck for even asking if you two are not close.

However, you are close so he humors you, despite not saying a for sure yes or no.

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you love me~"

"You think I love you?" Dude is making heart eyes at you as y'all speak, he's full of shit.

You pester him and poke at his chest, telling him you want your name here or there and he just rolls his eyes when he lays on his back.

He makes grunts and snarky remarks like he'd cut the skin off and belly laughs when you pout and can't help but flick your forehead and say it wouldn't happen.

A liar, he's gonna get a tattoo to symbolize you, just not your name. In y'alls line of work it's too dangerous, he's a known soldier and he has a target on his back. Whatever hyperfixation you have, whatever special interest, is something he'd get inked on him, probably on the inside of his arm to keep it hidden.

He runs his fingers across it before and after a mission, even if you're there with him. It's a habit that he'll probably never break. (I'm imagining him with Optimus tattoo for me I'm crying)

Soap:

He's been waiting. He is absolutely saying yes. He's been thinking about it for awhile and has been designing in his little journal what fonts he would get.

You cannot tell me that this man wouldn't get his loved ones name on him bc he absolutely WOULD.

He doesn't care if it's bad luck to get your partners name on you, as far as he's concerned he's yours for as long as you'll have him and you both work together, been through hell together. He's sure of it if you are okay with it.

He's the guy to get your name over his heart 😭 probably also with some flowers/symbols that represent you around it as well.

He presents it to you all giddy and laughs loud when you throw your arms around his neck hugging him.

"You like it? Now you're stuck with me 'orever~" while he gives you kisses all over your face.

Soap proudly flaunts when he's shirtless, his dog tags and your name on his chest make him so egotistical (it's warranted he's so fucking hot)

Would be very happy if you were to get his name but would never pressure you, however if you were, he'd need to design it for you <3

Price:

Price is on the fence, he's not a tattoo man and never has been. But he loves you, more than he's ever loved anyone so it's a firm maybe.

It'll have to be a couple of years before he genuinely will sit down and consider it.

Wouldn't get your name but instead your initial, probably on the inside of his finger or on some easily hidden slice of skin.

You don't even fucking see it until months pass and he's changing.

"Oh that? Got it back on downtime between missions." Motherfucker.

He grumbles as you steal whatever limb it's on but he's happy you're so so ecstatic and he thinks the glowing smile you send him makes it worth it.

@devilsfoodcake22 @simon-rileys-princess @stupid-ninja @milkmily @lune-la-chanson @tamayakii @teacupcollector @perilous-pasta @ihatethisappsomuchitpains @marsbar127xx @baddump @xncasi @king-cookiex @palomaxaxaxa @amatchasky   @wolfyland07 @diejager @hailstrum18 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @mzfandom @solarslushee @areislol @cluelessyasmin @sesshomaruwaifu @chaos-unchecked @kalamataolivesssss @arunasmisfortune @tbrfics @117s-girl @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore @sparrowwithaquill @justtiredandvibing

[razberrypuck]

thoughts on troy

he's playing nice with blink and runt exclusively because he needs them to get back up to the surface. I'm 100% sure the three of them are gonna get roped into some larger thing and forced to spend more time around each other, but if that WEREN'T the case, he would drop them the moment they stopped being useful to him. MAYBE he'd keep up the "yea I'll get u medical supplies whatevs" part of his deal with blink, but after that he wouldn't spare a single fucking thought to them, or to anyone else living down there. at the end of the day, he doesn't give a shit. like say what you will about him being stupid (he is) but he sure as hell knows how to walk the line between "vaguely decent guy, probably fun to party with," and "selfish piece of garbage"

the most blatant example being his interactions with runt; asking for her name bc that's generally what you do when you meet someone, runt saying it doesn't matter bc he's drunk and won't remember it, and troy going yk I'm glad you said that bc I don't actually give a fuck :) in response. like he does his best to sound friendly when he asks, but the moment she disregards it, he drops it. because she doesn't mean anything to him! blink is the one he's stuck with.

this is what he does! this is what he's good at! he's clearly charismatic, but he doesn't have any "friends" besides lint, because this is how he is with everyone. this is how he treats every relationship he's ever had. his friendship with lint is one of convenience, because lint just goes with everything he does. and that's useful! who needs real friends when your personal doormat will listen to you rant about whatever the fuck AND validate your feelings?

I do think getting stuck with blink and runt could get the idea that a person's value isn't determined by how useful they are to him through his thick fucking skull. I do think he could actually forge a real bond with them. but to do that, he has to acknowledge that his behavior is fucked up, and he has to be willing to change.

[agentjazzy]

The Evil Dead Dashboard Simulator

🧍‍♂️ groovyhousewares Follow

YES I got my girlfriend a pretty pretty necklace from a gumball machine and when she sees it she's going to give me so so many kisses :)

(411 Notes)

🐟 fishwantmemenwanttokillme Follow

man, fuck tourists, I was heading to my spot when a car came up and honked at us, all friendly like, so me and buddy waved bc there wasn't anyone else there, but then they YELLED at us???? we were just walking?? wtf did we even DO

#i hope the bridge collapses i hope they all DIE #vent

(4,079 Notes)

🎲 kingofstupidbitches Follow

unethical life pro tip: if you overhear your professor talking about their family cabin that they have, and they have open office hours posted, it's your RIGHT to go check that shit out

they're not gonna be there!! they have papers to grade and other shit to deal with!!! free cabin!!!

🌋 thehillsalsohaveanniceass 📛 Follow

op what are you going to do when you roll up and they're just sitting there

🎲 kingofstupidbitches Follow

lmao his ass is NOT going to be in that cabin 😂 he just got back from a vacation with his family or something (dipshit couldn't wait until break) he's supposed to be at his office and he does NOT have the vacation days to be leaving so soon

(151 Notes)

🌹 pressedflowerpetals Follow

fml my older brother asked if I wanted to tag along on a trip to a cabin and I said sure bc it beats staying at home w/ dad

BUT IT'S A COUPLE TRIP

HE'S BRINGING HIS COWORKER/GIRLFRIEND THAT HE DOESN'T SHUT UP ABOUT, HIS FRIEND IS BRINGING HIS GIRLFRIEND, WHYYYY DID THEY INVITE ME

#if i knew i would've said no 😭 #he didn't even invite his Actual best friend #which SUCKS bc then we could've fooled around when no one was paying attention #huh who said that 😳 #cheryl posting

(4 Notes)

📜 anthroapologist 🦀 Follow

haters will hear you scurrying underneath the bowels of your home and freak out like HELLO where else am I supposed to scurry????

(1,288 Notes)

🔮 shessellingseashells Follow

you ever feel like people Immediately forget your name upon meeting you :(

#i might be too high but i don't think any of these people know my full name #i mean I'm Definitely high #and tried moonshine for the first time #but like. really feeling like an outsider rn

(0 Notes)

🎲 kingofstupidbitches Follow

it's so hard being the only chad amongst nerds, like, I GET IT, you're too much of a pussy to investigate the creepy fucking cellar, the LEAST you can do is let me listen to the tapes I found down there, they're cool as fuck

🎲 kingofstupidbitches Follow

okay and now they're all yelling at me bc a stupid tree broke a window right when the tape got good 😑

🎲 kingofstupidbitches Follow

fuck it, here's a recording of the tape, I hope none of you guys are cowards like all my friends apparently are, have fun bc I can't

(206,089 Notes)

💀 theevilacrosstheland Follow

when someone plays your song you can feel that shit in your SOUL catch me coming towards you at 15mph awoken from my eternal slumber if I hear that first note fr

(6,282 Notes)

🔍 peachycraftsection Follow

my boyfriend spent $14 in quarters attempting to get a magnifying glass necklace from one of those gumball machine toy capsules at work bc he knows I LOVE mysteries and detective stories and I need to [redacted] him in the [redacted] right NOW 💖💖💖

(432 Notes)

🌹 pressedflowerpetals Follow

everyone's making out rn which is REAL inconvenient bc there is Absolutely Something Outside

🌹 pressedflowerpetals Follow

should I check it out

🌹 pressedflowerpetals Follow

there's no one online to tell me no so.....

📝 charcoalfingertips Follow

op you haven't posted in an hour are you okay???

🌹 pressedflowerpetals Follow

I'm Irrevocably Changed Now 👍

(104 Notes)

🌹 deadite420 Follow

I'm just a silly goofy guy if I happened to have killed and maimed and bite and stab that's just who I am and how I show love ^_^

(5,724 Notes)

🔮 deadite68 Follow

coyotes are SO right, if youre trapped somewhere or someone grabs ya, just bite your limb off, no hesitation, show superiority, it's not like THEY'RE gonna do it

(2,051 Notes)

🧍‍♂️ groovyhousewares Follow

whhy is there so muchh blood everywhere........

#help #i accidentally kept my mouthh open and blood got in it :((((( #my head hurts sso bad bookcases kept falling on me

(5 Notes)

🔩 deadite883 Follow

heehee i love crawling through pipes and electrical outlets

(207 Notes)

🎶 8tracksarebetterthancassettes Follow

I logged onto Tumblr and wtf why am I following so many people with deadite in their username? is it a reference? did I miss a meme? are we mishapocolypse-ing again?

🌿 dirtissoyummy Follow

I think it might be a virus transmitted by bots but idk I'm too scared to interact

🤡 thespareshemp Follow

okay I investigated to see if it was a bot swarm or people having fun SO

for the first cluster of blogs, all their IPs are logging from the same location, which usually means a lazy bot swarm BUT I went through all their archives and most of them, before changing urls, interacted with one another naturally and stuff, @-ing one another and junk, and they seem to know each other irl

so it's just friends having fun!! and then people joining in on the fun!! feel free to reblog without fear!

#they're all still posting original content so that's kinda a giveaway #even though it's all 'deadite'fied and all #i wonder if theyre doing an arg thing

(1,004 Notes)

🔍 deadite81 Follow

when men are SOAKED with blood 👌😍🥰😘💖🥰🥰💖😍👌😘😘😘💖💖😍

(20,983 Notes)

🤡 deadite6091 Follow

JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOHN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US

🛏 honkshoomimi Follow

🤡 deadite6091 Follow

You Will Be Dead By Dawn

(5,732 Notes)

🐟 fishwantmemenwanttokillme Follow

man, fuck tourists, I was heading to my spot when a car came up and honked at us, all friendly like, so me and buddy waved bc there wasn't anyone else there, but then they YELLED at us???? we were just walking?? wtf did we even DO

🥐 evilpillsburydoughboy Follow

hey you live near the state line right? can you check the news real quick

🐟 fishwantmemenwanttokillme Follow

uhhhhhhhhh

🐟 fishwantmemenwanttokillme Follow

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE BRIDGE IS GONE

🐟 fishwantmemenwanttokillme Follow

fml if any of you need me i'm going to lay down in the cold and let the forest take me

(4,079 Notes)

🛏 deadite7390 Follow

if you were to break me down to my pure essence you would be left with pure, unfiltered evil

also grits

mmmmmm grits

(2,561 Notes)

🎥 deadite3023 Follow

falling down the stairs is the most efficient way to go down them :)

(941 Notes)

🎲 deadite69 Follow

y'all ever open the window and AUGH OUGH UGH UGH UGH AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA THE AGONIES and then you adjust to the sunlight and you're fine

(8,091 Notes)

🧍‍♂️ groovyhousewares Follow

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE HELP ME

(3 Notes)

[keiicom]

Yjh things the Webtoon 'forgot' to mention or to point out bc they hate novel yjh

Warning for vague webtoon spoilers ig?? No spoilery names are named and no unreleased scenarios are mentioned/specified btw but I thought I'd add this warning just in case :)

He waited three days on the bridge for kdj to resurface after he dropped him in the Ichytosaurs mouth. Just. Waited there.

He smiles when Kdj tries his food and says it's good (it's more like a tiny smug smile tbh)

He is a WORRIER. Man worries about everything, but sucks at expressing it through actions bc that's when he's most easily misunderstood. It is EXTREMELY easy to misunderstand his actions unless the other characters ask him what he's doing and why [after he explains, he turns out to be actually really thoughtful tbh]

When he tells 41st round shin yoosung to "quit her blabbering"...he wasn't that harsh in the novel. The line was changed (still don't know why) but originally he said something about not having enough time, and wasn't a complete asshole.

Also during that same arc/scene it was revealed that he woke her up because he genuinely didn't think she'd attack him/be mad at him iirc, so it wasn't him being stupid, just somewhat naive

When Iris called KDJ ugly he actually stepped forward and intimidated her by glaring so she'd stop talking :) because he sensed fighting spirit in her and he decided to react lmao

His eyebrow moves similarly to a caterpillar when he's about to make an important decision (note: kdj points this out in the novel because he's always staring at yjh I swear to god there's proof)

Yjh puts on a 'cool' face when he's been caught or called out after trying to be sneaky (he's SO BAD at being sneaky istg I love this man so much)

He sometimes uses his skills for stupid and petty shit *said lovingly with heart eyes*

He's more likely to give someone/an NPC a quick death than to make them suffer until they die

He always goes along with KDJ's plans, even though Kdj barely tells him ANYTHING about them ever 😭 He glares but still goes along with them I NEED Y'ALL TO UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS- /lh

He drags his sword on the ground when he's happy/satisfied with something, or generally in a good mood. Also Loves to clean his sword (I think the webtoon added a scene of him cleaning the sword like. once)

He loves his sister more than anything (we haven't seen a lot of scenes with yoo mia AND yjh in the webtoon yet but I have high expectations for those knowing how much he adores her in the novel)

Mans RUNS to help every time kdj is in danger, unless he genuinely thinks kdj 1) can handle the situation himself or 2) deserves the punishment

He has MONOLOGUES in his head even though he only ever says like two sentences thakrhsjfjb, and is very eloquent when given the chance to explain his thought process/reasoning

[which kdj rarely lets him do. bc he's hellbent on doing the talking and most other characters don't expect yjh to talk anyway]

The hand holding scene that was turned into a weird wrist holding scene? Yes originally they held hands (he wasn't as angry then either)

He's a serial texter and will spam message people

He loves dumplings

He gets jealous when other people monopolize Dokja's attention for too long (also canon, ex: Sangah, [redacted 1], sometimes han sooyoung, [redacted 2], [redacted 3] 💀 and WILL glare at Kdj or demand answers depending on how severe the transgression is)

He's tired. So, so tired.

HE CAN LAUGH

he doesn't let Han Sooyoung live out of pride/not wanting to lose to kdj (???? what even was that). he lets her live because he doesn't want kdj to think poorly of him / alternatively he doesn't want to lose him as an ally. Not everything is about pride with him 🫠

he looks embarrassed after hearing yoo mia tell him he looks "happy when you talk about [kdj]". the narration also gives her statement some credibility, because "she knows him well since she's his sister". but of course they made him look angry instead of embarrassed 🙄 bc god forbid he shows any other facial expression ever

He's nosy (again: said lovingly with heart eyes). You'll notice how even when he pretends not to care, he'll still stick around to see how things develop/gather info on 'important' stuff. If he's not interested, he'll just leave, bc he's the kind of guy to just do that. So if he doesn't leave, even if he's pretending not to care... you see where I'm going with this

He has a sense of humor, believe it or not (though most of the time he's hilarious without meaning to)

When [redacted] asked yoo joonghyuk what his deal was with kdj and why he wanted him in his group he said "kdj is necessary for this world. I need him." but webtoon decided to skip that line 🫠

Yjh says "I guess your mother doesn't like me" instead of this "like mother like son" bullshit, because the second one implies dokja doesn't like him. which couldn't be farther from the truth

Yoo Joonghyuk actually looks distraught when he realizes he's the one that has to kill kdj. To the point kdj has to tell him to not make that face.

He holds him tenderly as kdj falls, and tries to hang onto him as he's dragged away.

I'd add more but the rest is spoilers fhajhrjeka so yeah I'll just wait to see what webtoon does first and I'll update this as they go

[rozaceous]

ive read mdzs years ago and stalled on tgcf (mainly bc i got really busy and then forgot everything lmao), but never really tried scum villain. if you don't mind, can you share why you like it? personally, the summary didn't really draw me in and the animation looked unfortunately really .... low budget.

hi anon! you've activated my trap card, which is Talking About Things I Enjoy At Length! congratulations! congratulations! congratulations! important things must be said three times!

(i also stalled w tgcf btw, bc it's so long that i could never summon up sufficient interest. and i will say that the svsss donghua is less than inspiring. i thought it was fun but that's speaking as someone who watched it after already being in love w the source content, so ymmv. i wasn't a particular fan of the animation style either, but considering that scum villain is the black sheep of mxtx's works in terms of the official content that gets produced, i was glad for what i could get.)

reasons to love scum villain!

hilarious use of unreliable narrator. shen qingqiu is one of my top favorite characters ever. he's not stupid or even, despite common fan depiction, all that oblivious--he's just incredibly genre-savvy and hasn't realized that the genre has changed. also he's hysterical.

but then sometimes, too, you look more objectively at things he glosses over and have a 'wait a sec' moment bc it's actually deeply disturbing.

it has a really fun way of of playing with transmigration stories and tropes. this was, in a sense, my intro to chinese web novel conventions as a western reader, and you can learn a lot bc mxtx is busy poking fun at all of them.

phenomenally meta.

luo binghe is a fantastic character. ppl who don't like him--i'll meet you out back. ostensibly the protagonist of the novel sqq has found himself in, supposedly blessed with every talent and the world prepared to fall at his feet, but MAN is it hard being luo binghe.

ppl will make a big deal abt lbh being obsessed w sqq but fail to acknowledge that sqq is just as weird and obsessed abt lbh. epitome of that AITA response of:

liu qingge

mxtx does so much with her villains, always.

as much as some of the miscommunication between sqq and lbh is contrived, it's also literally the only way that things could play out and makes absolute sense.

this classic scene, given utterly without context:

After a pause, Shen Qingqiu changed his angle. "What's your name?" The first one replied. "Six Balls." "What does that mean?" "When I was born, my pa held me and said I was six balls heavy." Shen Qingqiu was speechless. Shot put balls or ping-pong balls?! This kind of name is absolutely meaningless.

i think, honestly, my favorite thing abt scum villain is that you can read it quickly and have a good time, but if you're taking your time and paying attention, there is so much more happening underneath the surface! it's such a clever book, i'm honestly stunned (and humbled) that mxtx produced this as her first novel and at such a young age.

[astradreaming]

So a luke castellan x Apollo!reader

Idek how this would work but I had this idea after I read your ‘My Sweetheart’ blurb-

So tlt and Luke’s betrayal has occurred and the reader was in a relationship with Luke, pretty much exactly like ‘My Sweetheart’.

So ofc she’s still really offended and traumatised from that debacle. But she still loves him deep down. Anyway (at any point during the series, you decide) they’re going to use her as bait for Luke to come here. She agrees bc she doubts he’ll come, if he betrayed her surely he didn’t love her that much. But he does.

Anyway the campers give them some privacy and they have a really deep conversation, and she accepts that she still loves him. And then they all jump out and attack him and he realises she betrayed him, and he gets grievously injured.

But somehow, before they can realise she isn’t back yet, she goes back and heals him, bc she can’t leave him for dead, and she leaves him healed but hurting.

If you wanted to be evil you could even end it with ‘if you’d only been there to heal him that night in Manhattan.’ Feel free to change anything this is just a very long thought, xxx

house on a hill

this is a part two but it can be read separately :)

a/n: so sorry this took so long love, exams have been kicking my ass but i hope you enjoy this anyways ♡

masterlist

Luke Castellan admitted it.

He admitted it all, betraying camp to help rise Kronos, poisoning Thalia's tree, stealing the lightning bolt... Everything they said he did. He openly admitted.

He proudly admitted.

When you'd followed Annabeth into the woods after hearing Percy yelling for help, you didn't expect it to end you up at a Miami beach on Clarisse's quest.

After dealing with pirates and sirens, fighting a cyclops and a hydra you'd had your fair share of scares during this quest. But your biggest horror stood with a sword pointed at Percy.

Luke Castellan.

You'd thought long and hard about what you'd say to him, if you'd ever got the chance. Something along the lines of why? how dare you. why would you ever do this? or at the very least, was everything a lie?

But all your heartache and rage got stuck in your throat like a bad cough. All you could do was stand frozen and hope that it was all a bad dream.

He had the audacity to meet your eye. He stepped forward in your direction.

"Y/n I-" His voice broke as he quietly spoke.

Every single bit of shock in your body vaporized in a second, being replaced by lover's rage.

"Y/n? Y/n what? What do you possibly have to say to me" Your voice laced with venom.

He staggered froward, eyes shining with guilt. He tried to say something but you cut him off again.

"Do you know how long I defended you? Do you have any idea how stupid- no pathetic i felt when i got your letter telling me I was wrong about you. Do you know what it was like having everyone in camp thinking I'm a traitor too. Do you even care?" Your lip quivered as you leaning into yourself.

No matter how much you willed yourself not to, you felt the tears fall down your face. You were too blinded by emotion to notice the others regrouping behind you both.

"Of course I care y/n. I'm doing all of this because I care!" With each step he took towards you, you took stepping back.

"No! You're doing this because your spiteful!"

"I have every reason to be and you know it" He yelled his face contorted with fury. Flinching back you find what's left of your voice.

"You're being manipulated to start a war! And you're too hurt to see that. Luke, please. You've broken my heart but I still love you, don't play into the Titan's hand, come back to camp and right your wrongs. Together." Your voice a broken whisper, only to be heard by him and the Fates.

You swore to the Fates you saw a flicker in his eyes, a break in his warpath.

"All I want is the house we talked about, the one on the hill. With the trees out the front. With as many animals as you want, with the stupidest names we can come up with." His eyes fixated to the floor. He cleared his throat and looked so deeply at you it was like he was speaking to your soul.

"To get that life, a life with you. The gods must die. Their way is broken and wrong. It's just our turn, and only then will we be able to have peace y/n. Together.

While you stand frozen, appalled at the man in front of you, gone was the version on Luke you made those plans with, instead stood a pawn of a Titan.

Unbeknownst to you both Percy had finished summoning an Iris message to camp.

Luke finally noticed, ordered the monsters his army to attack in retaliation. You and your friends outnumbered when suddenly The Party Ponies narrowly come to the rescue. However you'd stayed stunned throughout it all.

Centaurs, half bloods, Cyclops' all fought one another. The loud sound of battle didn't render, instead silence ringing through your head.

You wanted to believe the old Luke was still in there somewhere, but as your focus zeroed in on him. Watching him fight without mercy. You saw no resemblance of the boy you love.

Perhaps if you kept hope, kept faith in him. You could have helped him long before Manhattan. Maybe there was another universe where Annabeth wasn't the only one who could see the old Luke buried down below. And maybe in that universe you both got that house on the hill...

[arataka-reigen]

hello!! i saw the tags on your pinned post abt how shoujo wasn't just romance and it got me curious bc i've read some nice shoujo but really dislike romance-heavy plots. are there any shoujos you like that don't have much or any romance in them? ty and i hope you have a good day! 💛

Oh, there are lots of mangas that are classified as shoujo and don't have romance!!

I am just now beginning my journey through shoujo as well, so I don't have a lot of recommendations for stuff I actually read, but the ones I did read or watch so far are:

Natsume Yuujinchou and basically anything else by its author, Yuki Midorikawa. Sometimes, her works do include romance, but the focus is almost always in the interpersonal relationships and the difficulties her characters go through in life. NatsuYuu is about an orphan boy who can see yokai, and for that reason he acts in "weird" ways and his foster families dislike him, so he keeps going from family to family. The story is about how he finds a good family who accepts and loves him, makes friends, and learns to make friends even with yokais.

There are currently 6 anime seasons out, and a 7th season is on its way, so you can either read the manga or watch the anime.

Akatsuki no Yona - i mean, this one does include romance, but i'll still put it on the list because as far as the anime went the focus is heavy on Yona's actual journey to gather the dragons of legend to be able to recover the kingdom that was stolen from her. It shows how Yona goes from a sheltered spoiled girl to a person befitting the title of dragon king.

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom - this one is the og villainess isekai and it truly deserves the hype. It is about a girl who wakes up in the child body of the villainess of her favorite otome game. She remembers that the villainess' fate in the game was always either death or exile, so she tries her hardest to change her fate. This one is classified as a reverse harem, but the main character is pretty oblivious and worries more about farming and eating sweets and generally being the best girl ever than actually worrying about romance. Aro ace queen tbh. And her harem is just happy to be with her and be dragged along for her stupid adventures. Plus, the female members of her harem are taken seriously as well, Mary is a raging lesbian and it is not subtext. I mean, it is a shoujo, so of course the female characters would be important lol.

Usagi Drop - listen to me. You will absolutely not look for anything related to this manga. If you like the premise you can watch the anime. But, please, do not look for the manga. You will only be extremely disappointed by it. That being said, I recommend the anime. It is about a man who returns home for his grandfather's funeral and then finds out his grandfather had an illegitimate daughter who has now become an orphan. He ends up having to take care of her because the rest of the family considers her a shame to the family.

Now, for the stuff I havent seen yet, I'll just write some that are on my "plan to read" list and put their genres next to their names so you can check it out if you think the genre's sound interesting:

7 Seeds (drama, horror, psychological, sci fi, survival)

Requiem of the Rose King (drama, historical, supernatural, gender identity)

Basara (drama, fantasy, adventure) (i think this one has romance, but from what i've heard, the main character's story is a lot deeper as she takes her brother's identity in order to fight against the king who killed her brother, it is pretty famous and considered a classic)

Ghost Hunt (horror, mystery, psychological, supernatural)

Helter Skelter (horror, psychological)

My Stepmother and Stepsisters aren't Wicked (comedy, historical, slice of life)

Ikoku Nikki (drama) (this one is the one i'm currently most interested on, i hear it's about a distant woman who's never had a good relationship with her sister and now has to take care of her teenage niece because her sister died)

Itsuwari no Freya (crossdressing, historical)

Limit (drama, psychological, school) (this one sounds incredible tbh, on a field trip their bus gets into an accident and only 5 girls remain, having to learn to survive and trying to assert themselves over one another because they hate each other.)

Machida-kun no sekai (school)

Mitarai-ke, Enjou suru (drama) (the main character wants to infiltrate the household of the family who blamed her mother for a fire, in order to prove her mother's innocence)

Smoking Behind the Supermarket with You (comedy)

Uramichi Oniisan (comedy, showbiz, workplace)

Usotoki Rhetoric (mystery, historical)

Don't Call It Mystery (mystery)

If anyone has more things to recommend I would also love to hear about it!!

[scekrex]

Hi, so this would start with Adam being a fallen angel or demon(up to you) and a months had pass and Adam is getting the hang of redemption, he's still a bitch though(a badass bitch tho). Lucifer and Adam had gotten closer like apologizing to each other like( Lucifer for stealing both of Adam's wives and Adam for trying kill Charlie and all that)So, Lucifer being Lucifer he falls, falls hard and fast, while Adam is being his sassy, bitchy, and oblivious self in the face of Lucifer's feelings. Adam also has feelings for Lucifer, but he's cautious not wanting to ruin what he has right now. So Adam and Lucifer hang out and some demon or even better(worse in my opinion) Valentino takes interest in Adam. Lucifer, self proclaimed, Big Boss of Hell, threatens Valentino, while being a possessive bastard in the process(I find that hot for some reason🤷🏽‍♀️). As Lucifer is threatening Valentino, he accidentally reveals his feelings toward Adam, and slipped up with calling Adam, Hell's Queen, most importantly Lucifer's Queen.

Nah but possessive men are fucking hot and I love them (key to my heard, I swear) also I wasn't feeling comfortable calling Adam the queen of hell, so I switched it up to king, hope that's fine!

Fallen

pairing: adamsapple

warnings: language & Val

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Adam had fallen deep, deeper than he had ever imagined.

Not only had he been killed by the smallest one, no he had also been locked out of heaven for good. Heaven had closed its gates for him, that was what Lucifer had told him when the now newborn sinner had asked for a meeting with Sera. Lucifer had also said that they would not speak to Adam, nor would they discuss the option of his redemption in the future, according to them Adam had dug his own grave.

The only reason that there weren't sinners chasing the former angel through all seven circles of hell was Lucifer's daughter Charlie.

Once Adam had been reborn, he had found himself in front of the Hotel’s entrance. And to be honest? Living somewhere rent free without the fear of dying at any given time just because some fuck-ups wanted to see him dead sounded pretty good to Adam. He was often found around Lucifer, not because the brunette liked the devil, but because he was the most tolerable out of the group. Lucifer and Adam had been constantly picking fights, sometimes they even threw hands at each other and yet they continued to surround themselves with each other.

It had taken Adam a good while to come to terms with the fact that hell wasn't forever and that redemption might actually be a thing. So he started to change some things. Instead of calling Angel a ‘stupid whore' he actually used his name, he tried to act somewhat decent towards Vaggie, he even enjoyed Charlie's weird bonding exercises sometimes. Alastor was another deal though, the former angel never really let the radio demon live down the fact that Adam himself would've been able to very easily kill him. Niffty was someone Adam strategically dodged whenever he could, that quirky little beast scared him more than death itself did.

“Y’know,” Lucifer started the conversation, a bottle of cheap booze in his hand as he and Adam were hanging out at the bar in the hotel lobby. “I don’t think I ever apologized for stealing your wives - well ex wives,” the devil continued as he carefully watched Adam out of the corner of his eye. He had meant to get that off his chest for a while now. Adam blinked, once, twice, then he shrugged, “I mean, they probably would've fucking cheated on me with someone else sooner or later, I’m actually kinda glad it was so soon.” Lucifer simply hummed at that, knowing Adam was probably right. A sigh came from the brunette and the devil turned his head to face the former angel as he spoke, “I’m glad I didn't kill your little brat,” he nodded towards the girl, she was sitting on the couch with Angel, they were talking about only God knew what, “She’s pretty fucking hard core, takes that redemption shit serious ‘n’ is willing to risk a fucking lot for it, gotta respect that amount of determination.” That was probably the closest thing to an apology Lucifer would ever get from Adam, but that was okay. He took it, “Yeah, she surely knows what she wants,” the blonde agreed.

And so it continued to go, Adam's behavior towards the other residents and the so called staff increased a lot over time and the bond between him and Lucifer only grew. Hell be damned, they even managed to talk a little bit about how things were back in Eden, and shared their thoughts about certain decisions that were made back then. It was actually kinda nice for Adam to have someone he was able to talk about the time in Eden.

The king of hell and the first man also both seemed incredibly touch starved, as Angel had said it once. They were almost constantly touching each other, even if it was just a hand on the other man's shoulder during a conversion. Not that Adam would ever admit it out loud but they even shared a bed more than once, usually when Lucifer’s depression got so bad that insomnia started to haunt the devil. Lucifer had once explained that Adam just grounded him, that he was feeling safe around the reborn sinner and that it helped having him around when sleep wouldn't catch him.

None of them addressed the feelings they were oh so clearly both feeling properly though. The men were always tiptoeing around each other, giving the other hints that there were feelings involved, but neither of them said it how it was.

Adam wanted to talk, he wanted to tell Lucifer, the tiptoeing around each other was getting on his nerves and he wanted nothing more than to just grab Lucifer's hips and pull the smaller one in a bruising kiss, he wanted to hold him during nights, wanted to wake up next to him. Adam wanted Lucifer. But everything they had was fragile and how far was too far? Would Lucifer abandon him if the devil would know about his feelings? He surely would, at least that was what Adam told himself.

It had happened more than once that Lucifer had been flirting with him, not in a joking way friends sometimes did, but in a way that made Adam feel like what they had going on was too real, too much, too obvious. It wasn't though. So whenever Lucifer flirted with him, Adam made sure to have a bitchy reply on the tip of his tongue, ready to hit and possibly hurt Lucifer with it. And while hurting the devil wasn't his intention, it was his only protection from the feelings he was feeling.

So the tiptoeing continued.

Well, it did until Valentino busted through the hotel doors, he seemed furious and was obviously looking for Angel. All that Val found was Adam. Adam, who was sitting on the couch, his feet up and busy scrolling through his phone. “Can I help ya?” he asked, not really paying attention to who was standing in front of him as he gave Valentino a quick glance before his eyes were back on his phone screen.

“What do we have here?~” Val hummed, excited over his newest discovery, “That pretty body of yours could satisfy so many demons.~” Adam sighed and turned his phone off, that was the first proper look he gave Valentino. “Yeah, well, hate to break it to you, whore, I’m not fucking demons. Don't wanna catch a disease, these fuckers out there are nasty,” he mumbled the last part as disgust appeared in his eyes. Val chuckled at that, and walked over to Adam, grabbing his hand tighter than the former angel had expected him to. “The fuck,” the brunette yelped as he was pulled to his feet and pressed flush against Val, who toyed with Adam's hair.

Lucifer was there to interrupt them in an instant, he grabbed Adam's shoulder, firm but careful not to hurt him, and pulled the reborn sinner away from Valentino, only to put himself in-between them. “Don’t you dare to touch him with your dirty fucking hands, Valentino,” Lucifer growled, which resulted in Val taking two steps backwards, he lifted his hands in defense as the grin vanished from his face. “Hey Lucifer, didn't know you're in town,” the moth demon tried to play the situation down, needless to say that he was unsuccessful. “Don’t fucking act like you didn't do shit, he,” Lucifer pointed to Adam, who was a little confused but definitely interested in how this would play out, ”is off limits for your shady shit.”

Val crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow, “Why? Is he your personal bitch? Hey, I totally respect that the king of hell doesn't want to share his toy with the public.” That's when Adam raised his voice against the demon, “Fuck you, I'm not his fucking toy!” That caused Val to chuckle again.

The moth demon took a drag from his cig and exhaled the smoke in Lucifer’s face as he bowed down a little to be on eye level with the devil, “Listen Lucifer, we both know that if I want something, I'll get it eventually and your personal toy is no exception.”

And that made Lucifer snap.

His eyes turned red as he made himself taller, just enough to be slightly taller than Valentino himself. The horns that grew on his head only made him appear even taller and his tail was flickering in annoyance. “No Val, you will listen. He's not my toy, but he's not gonna be one of your sluts either. He’s mine,” the devil growled in a deep voice, “Not my toy, but hell's king, my king. And you better show him some fucking respect.”

Adam could only stare at what was happening, he wasn't able to say something, too overwhelmed by the feelings that were rushing through his body and the words Lucifer had just said.

“Now get the fuck out,” the devil yelled, pointing towards the door. “And if you ever take another step inside this building, then you should better start praying because I won't be as nice a second time.”

Valentino was quick to hurry out of the building, he was a man with pride, yes, but he also knew that fighting with the devil was a stupid idea.

Once the door fell shut behind the moth demon, Lucifer shrinked back to his normal height again, the horns and his tail disappeared and his eyes switched back to their original color. Adam came up beside him, the taller man rested his arm on Lucifer's head, grinning at the devil, “So I’m not only yours but also king of hell? Fuck, shawty, why didn't you tell me ‘bout that?” Lucifer flushed at Adam's comment and couldn't help the soft chuckle that escaped him.