#I don't think I've ever seen anyone talk about this
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God I love this au, it's feeding me so good today. The last one with the part about only one bedroom has me thinking about a sick reader, the gross kind of sick where you're sweaty and wheezy and snotty, and the fact that if it were anyone else Simon would be quarantining them. But because it's his spouse, he wakes up to you nasally wheezing and mouth breathing while sprawled across him, and all he can think about is when you're due for your next round of medicine and if he needs to buy more tissues.
Sometimes love comes coated in mucus, and is reciprocated with an artificial cherry taste. Also do the guinea pigs have names and what do they look like?
I'm dying. This is the first ever ask I've ever gotten (that I recall) and I'm going to pass away. Also "sometimes love comes coated in mucus, and is reciprocated with an artificial cherry taste" that is such a good line, I'm apologizing in advance if I steal it.
Also warning for content of being sick, this is based off my last bout of plague.
Also Also Here's the Masterlist
Bedsharing in general does not happen at first. (Now I want to percolate an idea about sharing the bed for the first time). You're way to use to having your own bed that sharing with someone means you're not sleeping easily and I think Simon would rather sleep with the guinea pigs in their cage than have another human being that close to him when he sleeps. (This was also not something he initially thought about when being told a spouse was to be picked)
So what's the solution? Obviously bunk beds! Kind of, sorta...okay not really but the look on Simon's face when you had suggested getting bunk beds had been entertaining. Who knew so much indignation could come through a medical mask. Really his eyebrows did so much talking.
With the dream of bunkbeds dashed, the next best solution was either two twin beds crammed into the bedroom with a bedside's worth of space between them, or a pull out couch. You managed to find a couch same day that didn't terribly clash with the artwork you have yet to hang up.
You two actually manage to come up with a schedule for who slept where. Obviously you'd get the bed when Simon was deployed, made no sense for you not to. And when he was home the bed was all his unless he was having a night that he knew he wasn't going to trust a deadbolt to keep monsters at bay. Then he made himself comfortable, TV playing low until he managed a few hours in the early morning before you try to leave a silently as you can for work.
(Funny thing, even if you aren't sharing a bed traditionally, you both most certainly have your own sides, along with bed stands that told two different stories)
The first time you get sick is when Simon is technically deployed. Well actually, the day he returns is the day you spike a 101.8 fever and work forces you to go home so you don't become a walking petri dish and expose the college kids that come into your office.
Once you're home you appease the little beasts demanding some sort of vegetal boon, change into the rattiest clothes you have, and then huddle under a staggering amount of blankets that have made their home on your bed. (Simon may have side eyed them when you first set them out, but you've seen the mountain he creates under them, you knew the magic of weighted blankets)
Sleep isn't peaceful, you hadn't broken out the Nyquil quite yet, but you do manage to drift off for a few hours. And then the coughing starts. It's the kind that's a bitch to deal with, dry and pushing your ribs to the limit with how often they can expand and contract. By the time Simon comes home you've steamed yourself twice, taken only a smidge over the recommended amount of cough suppressant, and slathered yourself with Vic's Vaporub. All in all, you were properly miserable.
You're in the kitchen, staring into the abyss of your over-steeping tea as if it will magically make you feel better if you only sell your soul to it, really a tempting offer, when the wheeks of the pigs announce that another person they know has arrived.
If Simon wasn't clued in that something was off at seeing you home before the end of your work day, the pungent smell of menthol would have been a dead give away. You're still communing with your tea when he knocks against the wall, pulling you out of the deal for your soul to meet him with bleary eyes and a flushed face.
You croak out a greeting that makes Simon wince in sympathy, though that's about all he really does. Simon doesn't really do pleasantries and doting probably wouldn't be the first word people use to describe him, so with your brain function reduced by an overflow of mucus and fever, the kitchen was rather silent.
Until you started coughing, face buried into the crook of your elbow to try to keep your contagion to a minimum and back bowing to nearly double you over. That drives Simon to action, coming to try to keep you up incase you collapse, grabbing your free arm.
When you feel him touch you, you try to pull away, shaking your head and finally finishing your bout, gasping a little as you try to daunting task of breathing and speaking to dissuade him from getting close lest he catches what you have. He clearly wasn't persuaded, hands clenching and unclenching like he simply wanted to pick you up and put you...somewhere.
How exactly Simon Riley would take care of you, he didn't know but he'd be damned sure to at least try. He'd been left to fend for himself while sick before and he didn't like the idea of you going through that. When it was clear that he wasn't going to just leave you to your suffering you relented enough to try to reach a compromise; if he'd be alright watching the pigs while you were sick that would be more useful than a nursemaid while you camped out on the couch.
That...that was something Simon could do. He'd watched how you took care of the boys, surely this was something he could do. And then his brain caught up to the rest of what you had said. There was no way he was going to let you sleep on some pull out couch, as nice as it was. Being Sick meant sleeping in a proper bed, on a mattress that didn't spend it's days folded up.
You tried to insist it was alright but he wouldn't listen to a word of it. Instead he practically herded you back to the bedroom, ignoring your murmurs of your abandoned hot beverage. He didn't lift you to plop you onto the bed itself but it was a near thing. He had to bribe you with the promise of a proper cup of tea for you to even lay your head on your pillow, eyes already heavy with the need for sleep. By the time he had actually made a cup you were out for the count, nasally mucus filled snores letting him know you hadn't perished in the time it took him.
The next few days were filled with mucus, the attempted escape of your lungs via coughing fits, and more Vics than the human body should be exposed to. And the entire time you insisted that you could fend for yourself. Simon didn't push to play nurse, but your tissues never ran out, a dose of medication was always ready on your bedside, and a warm cup of tea stood waiting for you after each nap, like a solider committed to his guard.
Edit;
I'm going to make a separate post for the guinea pigs, because honestly I'm torn on if they're based on my guinea pigs I used to have, or guinea pigs I'd want to have in the future
#cod#simon riley x reader#simon x reader#simon ghost riley#military program spouse#I didn't mean to write so damn much but uh...surprise?
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Finally watched Deadpool and Wolverine. First of all I was not coming into this with high hopes because even though everyone was talking about how good this movie is I've never found the Deadpool movies funny. To me they're just different variations of "You haven't seen this in an Iron Man movie" stretched into two now three feature length films. But honestly I liked it at the end.
- Why are Logan's ears and one of his eyes not decayed when no other part of his body is intact? Why does he have a beard on his jawbone?
- I'll bite, the Bye Bye Bye is a fun idea. The wintery forest setting is cool.
- I can't enjoy that opening fight scene because it's not how anything works. You don't get bludgeoned with a dull object, have your body armour completely give way, and have a pint of blood splash out. I understand the whole point of Deadpool is that it's over the top, but this is just so overly gratuitous it's insane. I feel like Marvel Studios felt like they had to make it so unrealistically violent to try and separate it from the mainline MCU to get the people who have Deadpool funko pops to guffaw in the theatre. It's "You haven't seen this in an Iron Man movie" with zero words spoken. Honestly incredible.
- The CGI is better than it's been recently but it's still noticeably bad
- Peter Parker's Iron Man mask is on the desk in the background! How did that even get there.
- Why is Tony's ARC reactor on the table, I thought that was pushed into the river at the funeral
- The timeline is just so incredibly fucked. I still don't understand how the X Men timeline reboot works, or how Logan fits into it; if Logan dying means Deadpool's universe collapses, that implies the Logan movie is in the X Men reboot franchise, but Patrick Stewart is in that and James McAvoy plays him in the reboot making me think it's a one off... Augh my head...
- Something looks up with John Favraeu. I don't know if his wearing a wig is supposed to be obvious, I don't know if he's just under a lot of makeup or it's CGI, it's just weird.
- Deadpool is never going to be an Avenger because Marvel Studios would rather execute everyone working for them than give up the licencing deals from making PG13 movies, and Deadpool wouldn't feel the same in a PG13 movie.
- I think any brand would let Ryan Reynolds walk all over them in muddy boots, for some reason he gets the pass to slander anyone he wants to and he gets paid by the companies to do it.
- 'I don't have a lot of v*ginal sex' 🤨 that has numerous connotations. Also can we not do sex jokes in front of 12 year olds
- I was not expecting a Deadpool movie to contain any hints of character development because the previous two instalments seemed to be hellbent on making sure I understood nothing of emotional value would ever be allowed to appear without being undercut by a sex joke.
- "I've never been a natural bottom" 🤨🤨 I thought Poolverine was just the average two male leads naturally gets shipped together thing but no they're sowing the fields
- If that Thor crying over Deadpool never comes back I will say something about it
- If they didn't want me to know Paradox was going to be a villain why would they make him British
- The 'Suck it Fox' cut to nothing being there is the only time I will accept something raising more questions than answering them at this level as funny
- "Your tailor is a predator" caught me so off guard I started coughing
- Wow I wasn't expecting them to pull the Paradox is actually evil card not even a third into the movie. Honestly a good subversion of expectations.
- How is Deadpool's universe going to evaporate in 74 hours, I thought time doesn't exist at the TVA?
- Are they going to explain why Deadpool's suit can just fix itself now. It used to keep its holes.
- Finally, I think the first time we ever hear Deadpool is from Canada in the movies! I wonder if Ryan Reynolds only wanted to play him in the first place because they're both Canadian...
- "You two gonna fuck or fight?" 🤨🤨🤨
- I actually understood the Honey Badger reference
- the FF floating platform thingy is another reference I'm surprised I got
- The Human Torch CGI is actually really cool
- "Not all of you was asleep" after waking up on his shoulder 🤨🤨🤨🤨
- Too many cameos in Cassandra's little alcove so I'm not even going to bother looking for them all
- I'm not sure if Johnny Storm's death was supposed to be played for laughs or just shock value, either way I'm not laughing I loved those movies ;(
- How does Cassandra know she's Xavier's sister if she was sent to the Void before she could walk?
- Wolvie being nice to Johnny post mortem is cool
- Nicepool having a stronger Canadian accent is a good joke, and Deadpool looking on in disgust as Nicepool talks about his dog's 'G-spot' is good. At least that's not played off as just a normal thing to say even if it is a joke
- "I identify as a feminist" could easily be misconstrued as an 'anti-woke' joke but all of the jokes of a similar calibre in this movie seem to be made ironically. Example: Nicepool is a creep
- "Where's your mask" and Nicepool points to his face actually implying his nice guy attitude is a facade for being a shitty person is actually really good
- Why is Nicepool's car surrounded by untrampled corn, how did it get there? Who grew the corn?
- Deadpool includes Colossus in his world ��
- Wolverine is nothing if not an excellent shit talker, and it's actually very out of character for Deadpool to actually get affected by insults
- I wish The Greatest Showman soundtrack was incorporated for more than just a third of a second
- 'Close up magic' ant man reference?
- 'There's only ever gonna be one Blade' about that...
- I think that's Apocalypse's throne in Cassandra's room? Or Thanos's
- I never thought about how both Cassandra and Xavier's powers radiate from their heads until the Juggernaut helmet scene
- Finally some real actual genuine character development that's not thrown away for a joke!!! The best part of the movie to me was Cassandra's redemptio-. Oh. Nevermind. Anyway I like it better than if it were just shoved away for a joke then she died
- Deadpool waiting for the 'extras' to clear was, to me, a good indication that he's a hero now. Caring about civilians is #1 on my makes you a good guy requirements
- "You smell something?" "Yeah you" 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨
- And there it is. Nicepool's death is probably the most predictable death I've ever seen on film.
- Eastside Pharmacy?! Agatha All Along reference???
- Wolverine's helmet looks like a rubber playground ball
- Will Marvel Jesus come back in three days however?
- Staring at Hugh's abs? Same, but 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨
- That hand holding ending was actually impressive, I wasn't sure what was going to happen and it actually kicked ass
- Is the guy with the mug who stared at Deadpool in the beginning Marvel's first gay character
- The introducing Logan to Blind Al is so unbelievably 'the parents meeting the boyfriend' I could die there's no fucking way that wasn't on purpose
#typos inbound lol#long post#marvel#mcu#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#logan howlett#poolverine#wade wilson#cw sex mention
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Curve Theory
Would you believe me if I told you that Rick Sanchez isn't only the antagonist of his own series, but many more too?
The Central Finite Curve Connected Multiverse (or even Omniverse,) it's not just Rick and Morty living it up here! In my world Easter Eggs aren't just fun things to find in the background, but are actually treasures hiding a larger narrative.
References, Easter Eggs, Crossovers and Cameos, plus some storytelling to fill the holes, and you get a beautifully well pieced together puzzle.
Theories coming soon!
#This is mostly for funsies#I don't think I've ever seen anyone talk about this#Apologies if someone has#I had a lot of fun doing so much research though!#Rick and morty#gravity falls#Central finite curve#Rick sanchez#morty smith#morty prime#Rick and Morty theory#gravity falls theory#fan theory
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There's a special kind of ecstasy I feel when I read an Andrew Joseph White book and his protag unapologetically talks about the horrors of being a woman (without pulling any punches), and talks about the horrors of being a woman when a woman is not what you are
#his books are so so special to me#I see posts all the time that talk about how hard it is to be a woman#and it is!#but I don't think i've ever seen anyone talk about the specific pain of going through the same things women do but not having a community t#support you#i never feel more seen or included than when I read his books#andrew joseph white#hell followed with us#the spirit bares its teeth#compound fracture#my post#gender queer#this is a little bit of a rant post#Mr white I owe you my life
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In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)
I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.
Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)
That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"
When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!
The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:
and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)
So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.
So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.
Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)
Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.
#i don't talk about it much because tbh it can get *fraught*. and i've had that in other fandoms too.#i added and deleted so many qualifiers from this post over it lmao#people are passionate about fandom which is great! as a concept#but it sucks feeling like most people hate the thing you love or that - however diplomatically it's phrased - you should hate it too#or that folks think maybe you *would* be mad if you just looked at it a certain (sometimes seemingly cast as the 'correct') way#basically it's insane that half the time when i see people standing up and praising the revival i'm like 'damn bruh. you brave'#and feeling that way is partly a me thing. but i've seen posts that also lead me to believe it's not JUST a me thing yaknow?#i always wonder whether the 'vocal subset' in any given fandom who hate a thing are really the majority that they appear to be#or if they just appear to be the majority because they've needed to be vocal about it as a sort of internet support group thing lol#which fair enough i mean anyone's entitled to be disappointed or have feelings#for me? i don't think i can remember ever being mad about a series i liked#i'm just here for the vibes man i very rarely have fixed notions#i say to the writers: go ahead and surprise me. i'll make sense of pretty much anything they throw at me#i also think about a dd quote i saw ages ago that as an actor you (paraphrased): can't say 'the character would not do that'#...because if it's in the script then by definition they *did* do that. it's right there on the page.#and that's kind of me as a fan too.#p.s. i fucking love season 8 i love angst and holy shit it delivers. the new characters are fantastic the journey is *chef's kiss* and#yes i consider certain temperamental even assholeish behavior to also be *chef's kiss* there's so much trauma so much reason for it#it's be-yoo-ti-ful 💕 season 8 my beloved 😍#anyway watch it all watch none do what you want. just know that there are people who would cuddle the whole damn thing from start to finish#like a floppy wet lil raggedy ann doll if only they COULD#x files#the x files#txf revival#txf thoughts#i love you floppy wet raggedy ann doll
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Am I the only one who thinks Breezeblocks is a vore coded song
#i can't be#but i don't think I've ever seen anyone else talking about it#i might just be unhinged#vore talk#scribbles
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something i’ve been thinking about is the intersection of racism & fascism with conspiracy theories/pseudoscience and the supernatural in disco elysium. it’s a well-documented phenomenon irl and i think the game is very good at easing you into the “levels” of how these things are inherently related.
on the surface you have the racist lorry driver, who literally has “racist” in his epithet and is the most out-and-proud racist-fascist you could possibly meet, and measurehead, another open racist and fascist whose nickname is given to him by his belief in phrenology. here we see these people as pretty much cartoonishly racist and very vocal about *why* they believe these things: it all comes down to pseudoscience. these are people who have been convinced that racism is just a fact, justified by science that others are just too “soft” to recognize. we all know about measurehead and his phrenology and such but the RLD also espouses pseudoscience to justify his racism:
and, in addition to this “supporting” his racist beliefs, on top of this he believes in conspiracy theories like an immigrant *Invasion* and an anti-Occidental (anti-white) “cultural victory”, which sounds suspiciously like real-life “white eradication” conspiracy theories:
okay, this is some obviously deeply racist and fascist shit. but it’s not just this. measurehead goes beyond this and believes in other conspiracy theories unrelated to race supremacy, like his thing with semen retention, which is also a real-life conspiracy thing:
i’ll tie this all up at the end, so let’s move on to the next layer. gary is explicitly identified as a cryptofascist by his epithet. a cryptofascist, for those unfamiliar, is someone whose beliefs and ideals align with fascism but who doesn’t openly identify as such because they’re aware of the social unacceptability of it. if you play the fascist route, you’ll have to play as a cryptofascist in order to maintain positive relationships with NPCs and not take constant morale damage from saying fascist things. gary also says blatantly racist things, and here’s where it gets a little deeper than RLD and measurehead: the very basics of what he says are factually true-- that seol exports microtechnology, for example, which ties them to a lot of global governments-- but these actual facts have been spun by fear and *conspiracy theory* into a load of racist bullshit:
and you can actually see in that half light line at the bottom how the fear leverages belief in this stuff! you can argue against gary this whole time and still, an appeal to *fear* can start to slip in through the cracks. gary opens with facts and logic, devolves into fear and conspiracy spinning, and we get another layer of how racist rhetoric and belief spreads. then, to add another layer to the fear angle, you have plaisance. it’s not fear of immigrants with her, though. she’s afraid of this curse-- the supernatural-- that she thinks will be responsible for ending her business, and in her fear she turned to racist caricature and stereotypes:
it’s not the same as the direct “you’re seolite, fuck you” that RLD directs at kim or the “non-occidentals are inferior” he and measurehead parrot or “immigrants are trying to take over the world” that they and gary all buy into. it’s a far more insidious thing: this is something she takes as fact, so deeply that she doesn’t even *question* it. these nonwhite people are special mystical people with magic and that’s just how it is! while it’s not quite conspiracy theory, it’s supernatural, which functions the same as conspiracy when you talk about how racism is rooted in some fundamental disconnect from reality. and this brings us to our final subject, lena. lena comes in from the same angle, a belief in the supernatural (cryptozoology) that ultimately results in racism. (the juxtaposition of cryptozoology/cryptofascism with morell and gary was not an accident!) she seems like a regular sweet old lady who likes cryptids, until you’re randomly slapped across the face with this:
she believes that seolites are a different *species*, and that’s just a fact to her. you point out the racism and she just doubles down-- no, she’s not trying to be offensive, it can be a good thing actually! that’s just nature, just like the cryptids she loves! it’s just fact! and we see this echoed by plaisance and even gary, where they’ll say something deeply racist and follow it up with “but [x group] is very intelligent/crafty/etc as well!” as though saying this somehow cancels out the racism (when in actuality, these “good traits” are part of what they use to fearmonger about these “other” groups they’re so afraid of).
in general this group of characters serves really well to demonstrate how people who are out of touch with reality in other ways (conspiracy, magic, the supernatural, and some extreme forms of spiritualism) are frequently deeply racist as well, and some of them aren’t even aware or doing it intentionally. it really just comes with the territory, and some people choose to lean into it while others aren’t even aware of it, which is why the process of recognition and unlearning is so important when considering the latter population.
#i see lots of people surprised by lena but i don't think i've ever seen anyone acknowledge what plaisance says#i'm set to do an internship with a linguistics team studying conspiracy theory so i was thinking about this in the game#and wanted to compile a post#because i think the interplay of the racists & their *paranatural* beliefs was a good way of addressing these things#while having limited space in the narrative to actually work with it#this isn't fully comprehensive i know but i think i have the basics covered#unfortunately seol is handled very badly by the writers in general though and i've talked about that before#the racism shit goes all the way down#kiwipost#disco elysium#disco elysium meta#gen meta
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Is it true that there's no animosity between you and... you know, you know who. You never talk about her in any way. I guess I'm curious. You guys seemed like really close friends and then just weren't friends at all. And there was some stuff she said that seemed very targeted at you...
I don't know if she feels any animosity toward me or not any more. Our mutual friends have said she doesn't and I take them on their word in that regard, assuming that if they have an answer for me it's because they're aware how she feels. I wouldn't know and it's not my place to put words in her mouth.
I haven't spoken to her/about her in a long time and the only time she even crosses my mind is when people bring her up to me. As for me feeling any animosity? I'll admit my feelings on her these days are complicated and way too nuance-core for people who aren't my friends to hear about but I wouldn't call them animosity in any way. I inherently want people my friends care about to live well because I care about my friends, and anyone my friends care about by proxy and I still share friends with her. I would never wish ill on people my friends care about so animosity doesn't fit into that by definition. I'd say I'm hurt more than anything and even then I've worked through a lot of it with trusted friends who have helped me deal with my emotions in a healthy way.
(Besides, my own life struggles keep me from even being able to invest time into animosity. I have to expend that energy loving my family, doing my best to support them during our struggles. And I've never been a hateful person it isn't in me. I would rather play 'Hot To Go' by Chappell Roan and teach my dad how to do the hand gestures to help him strengthen his muscles again than focus on hating anyone...)
I try not to think about her because it hurts. I often think that people forget that I'm a real person outside of her sphere, and that I wouldn't want to talk about what happened because I truly did consider her a friend for a long time. And when someone I consider a friend appears to not regard me with care any more suddenly and I don't even have closure on that... well... it hurts... A lot. Of course I never talk about it.
And I'm not stupid, I have seen some stuff she's said that I've gathered was about me. I remind myself that she has a right to vent in her own spaces and I truly mean that... it's just a shame that her own spaces have people who then have taken these things to me to show me (after all, I wouldn't have even seen these things myself if not for third-party anons going 'this u?') saying it is my own fault because I was a terribly cruel friend or my own fault for not listening to warnings about her when I had the chance and that makes me a stupid gullible bitch. You lot haven't seen some of the awful shit about me from some of her more ravenous fans and haters I've seen over the years that I've had to let roll off my back in the fear it would bring backlash - not even to me, to her. I don't want to be the cause of any hatred going to anyone.
Also I'm just not going to ever talk about the details of our fallen friendship or our fallen relationship. That's private. She might be a public person to some extent but I never was, even if I do gain some measure of small fandom for my work one day I'm just private about personal matters especially raw ones. I almost deleted this ask entirely but Idk I never stated that it bothers me when people talk to me about her from my own mouth, so I guess that's what this ramble is.
If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed. I am not a part of her life not even through our mutual friends. I do not know or care what's going on with her public/personal life. I haven't kept up. I will never keep up. Don't treat me as an extension of the situation because I am not in the situation. In the most plainly stated sense of the word: Leave me the Hell alone. (...pretty please.)
All I've wanted this entire time was to be left alone to process everything in a healthy, peaceful way. I'm workin' on it.
#not art#I don't think I need a tag for asks of this nature since I'm never going to be speaking to any of this again#but it doesn't fit in with my normal asks so:#Mad as a Bag of Cats#There that's a specific tag to blacklist even though I'm not a personal drama ask answerer very often...#let's not even get into the slurs I received or the insulting things about my mother people have asked me about or the -#insulting and nasty insults about how I deserved to lose her as a friend or deserved to be hurt because I didn't listen#because if I vented how fucking shitty people who don't know me have treated me since the day I met her we'd be here all day#and let me be clear whatever else: Lily is not responsible for ANYONE being this way whether they defend or condemn her you all decided to#send those things and you know who you are - I've also seen people on both sides say to leave me alone#and genuinely for just that thank you this is genuinely some of the most distressing online experiences I've ever had#so please leave me alone.#about this subject I mean - if you wanna be nice and talk about my art or me I'm happy to engage#if you're nice to me this isn't for you#edit: even to the nice people who tried to send me well wishes now - If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed.#it just feeds the whole thing if I answer those too#you can send if you want to be nice I get that impulse but I won't be answering them
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is there anyone on tumblr who genuinely hates abigail or are we talking about reddit or sumn. like we agree abigail is literally perfect right. what's everyone talking abou
#i've certainly seen a few posts now talk about how sick they are of abigail hate or smth along those lines#it reminds me of the “pov ur scrolling looking for the hate everyone's talking about” comments on instagram or whatever#bcs i genuinely don't think i've ever seen anyone hate abigail#although i only rlly scroll tumblr for rdr content and i only got the games in the last year?#and tumblr's tumblr so there's definitely like. A Sampling Bias Here#abigail roberts#abigail marston#rdr#rdr2
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hey, how do we feel about ken and brady? because:
thinking about brady getting up early to go spend time with his little mechanic before everyone else is awake, his version of courting ken being sitting on the tailgate of a truck to watch him do his routine checks, fond smile playing at his lips, a softness so evident that it'd be useless to deny it if anyone pointed it out, but he'd still try.
ken following him around base like a lovesick puppy after the morning's mission, hanging off his every word, looking at him like he's the coolest ever, and to ken he is. eagerly leaning forward in his seat, chin in hand when brady relents and tells him about his flight in the mess hall later, shooting question after question at him until brady quiets him with the suggestion that they go on a walk, "so we don't drive the others mad with your yapping."
ken grows more shy when it's just the two of them, hands in his pockets as they walk off base to stroll down a quiet country trail, fighting off a dopey grin every time brady purposefully bumps against him. the rush of developing feelings, every interaction feeling so fresh and exciting, pure young summer love.
a drawled out "enough about the mission– what'd my pretty handyman get up to while i was gone?" as brady slings an arm around his waist when they're far enough off the road to not worry. light pink blooming on ken's cheeks at his words, smiling bashfully as he tells him about the little things that happened throughout the morning.
the two of them end up in some open field as they often do, sweaty in the sun, cargo pants on but shirts discarded in the grass. brady's laid out on his back with sweet angel ken on top of him, hands cupping ken's face as his boy leans down to kiss him all smiley and giggly and flushed, curls messy from the summer heat and roaming hands.
all of their days off spent in that field, a summer full of lazy make–outs and secret glances and careful brushes of hands, growingly increasingly fonder of each other's company and navigating the feelings that come with that. evenings spent up on the wing of whatever plane ken's spent the day working on, laying his head in brady's lap as the sun goes down, resting his eyes while brady reads his book out loud to him, or while they both talk about their days.
innocent first–love surviving the summer, stretching into fall and then winter, romps in fields turning into cold evenings under blankets when they can sneak into unoccupied barracks. the light small talk and nervous kisses and hand holding of the sunny season morph into late night conversations over the howling wind outside about what will happen after the war, fantasizing about a cozy apartment and a bed for two and quiet mornings and a future together.
#i don't think i've ever thought of this pairing or seen anyone else talk about it so i might be alone in this one lmk#but this vision of sweet wholesome summertime love popped into my head i think i'm kinda fond of them sigh#they'd be such a sight together and so so endearing#literally the black cat bf and golden retriever bf combo#something about pilot x mechanic itches my brain#i'm tired is this anything????#i don't think there's even a ship tag for them oh god this is so much pressure#i'll pioneer this pairing if i gotta. i volunteer as tribute#ken x brady#bradyken#?#blemmons#i think that's cute :-) let's go with that#johnslittlespoon brainrot
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HEY CHAT UH
HEY UHH
UHH???
HEY CHAT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???????
#i don't think i've ever seen anyone talk about this or maybe i just missed it bc i Am late to the party but UHHHHHHH????????????#WHAT IS THAT.#WHO THE FUCK IS THAT.#HELLO???????????#FUCKING SCARY LARRY OVER HERE WHO THE FUCK IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!#this is only in the no mercy route apparently WHAT IS THAT PLEASE OH MY GOD#undertale yellow
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the day osc tumblr stops fighting over tacomic is the day we all heal [adding my personal opinion in the tags]
#tacomic neg#adding the tags so the people im talking about can see this and actually digest it with their eyeballs#its just so tiring#why do u guys care about ship discourse so much for ships that aren't even bad or hurting anyone#please just look away and stop complaining and being unnecessarily mean to people who are doing nothing wrong#i've never seen any actual tacomic shippers MAKE them abusive or toxic or belittle other ships and be so hostile towards them#also it'll make you much happier instead of making you pointlessly mad all the time if u just stop caring#i think people should just stop fighting each other cause it gets nowhere and just makes both parties mad and upset for no reason#but the osc thrives off of negativity and infighting for some reason idk why im even saying this. im not surprised this is happening.#its been like this ever since i joined. don't you guys ever take a break instead of being so negative all the time?#its also hypocritical for reasons i've said before but i don't feel like starting anything up
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I am so mad about how desperately into pan I am. he was specifically made to fuck me up. they dangled him in front of me like 'hey would you like to see a sad clown trickster with emotional intimacy issues and a heart of, if not gold, then some mysterious alloy with qualities not at all unlike those of gold at the end of the day?' and I went 'boy would I!' and now I'm lost. I'm on my knees he's like if reyes vidal was actually redeemable instead of just a 'release my man he did do all of that but I don't care' situation
#the way he seems so genuinely *delighted* by grace finding her voice and wants her to be able to make her music again#even when she's not the muse anymore............ what the fuck that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard in my LIFE dude#low-key grace's biggest fan musically at least fhsajkd#stray gods#stray gods pan#(this is not a slam on reyes btw the fact that he's unconscionable is part of the appeal in that specific case lol)#I went into the game mostly blind and from what I had seen I fully intended to romance freddie#and then... this bitch shows up for literally one song and I have to restart the whole thing before I even get to challenging a queen#because I now desire the goat guy carnally and I want to duet with him for the rest of forever thank u#also I don't think I can ever not romance him now seeing the contrast between what he gets up to in the endings#what do you MEAN if you don't romance him he just goes off and no one knows where he is. he's still just so alone??? no not on my watch#(if freddie is dead ( :( ) and you romance him there's an *adorable* part in the epilogue where he tells you hekate has him running around#getting lost relics back in a series of distinctly indiana jones-esque misadventures and it sounds like he's having the time of his life#if this is what it takes for him to actually talk to his family without anyone being complete dicks about it I must solemnly accept#the terrible burden of kissing him on every single run through of this game. it cannot be helped it's out of my hands now)
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Saw someone HC that post flashpoint Babs (especially Burnside era) isn't actually Babs but Charlie Gage-Radcliffe with memory issue from the reboot
I'm in love with the idea, make it canon DC. It's wouldn't be the first tome she's been mistaken for Babs girl. Do it!
#dc#barbara gordon#charlie gage-radcliffe#do people like charlie?#i didn't mind her#but she seems like that kind of character that would get labled annoying#and disproportionately hated by fandom#but before this point I don't think I've ever seen anyone talk about her ever#so i have no idea#but yeah#dc should do this#and then bring back babs as oracle properly#wheel chair and everything#n52 babsgirl is too soft to actually be babs
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i don't think we as a fandom have ever talked about ohm's acting choices in this scene:
#at least i don't think i've ever seen anyone talk about it much less gif it#guess i'm gonna have to do it myself at some point#airenyah plappert#bad buddy#bbs#bbs ep9#adrm#no i will not elaborate
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hey besties how're y'all doing 🥺🫶
#personal#i always come on here and complain about me WELL NOT TODAYYYYY#i've been playing lots of pikmin 4 (i have never played pikmin) and i'm having a blast!!#wanna talk to me about pikmin??#also i think i'ma buy me some pokemon cards as a pre-stressful-week present HAHA i found some really cute ones!!!!!!#has anyone seen the live action spirited away??#my friends and i had a little watch party a couple weekends ago to watch it and i LOVEEEE#the costumes are gorgeous!! and the cast was soooo good ahhh#anyway i just wanted to stop in and say hi and check up on you guys <3#pls note that when i say 'besties' i am referring to all of you. i don't care if we've never talked before ever u r a bestie now
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