#I don't think I have that but I do also have frequent intense deja vus which is apparently also a temporal lobe glitch

[nature-played-a-trick-on-me]

Reading Oliver Sack's Musicophilia for funsies and on page 23 there's something about a woman who experiences 'memory flashes' (random innocuous memories of places that pop up and don't have a connection with what's currently happening) and I was like oh lol I have that too! And the woman turned out to have temporal lobe epilepsy I

[paluimbel]

So some things have come up recently with my kind-of source(?) that have led us to do some thinking about how the fictives in our system experience exomemories, and I thought I'd post it here because we haven't seen anyone else talk about similar experiences. Disclaimer, I have a bit of a tendency to ramble, so this could get a bit long.

First of all, I'm from an AU in which my home got invaded by, like, basically the Borg, from Star Trek, but not quite. It's a bit complicated. Anyway, nearly all my friends died, and then I thought my closest friend died, and then I ended up in a parallel dimension full of vampires and werewolves.

Now, the main reason I know any of this is because the knowledge carries over from other system members reading about my source au. I don't remember basically any of this from my POV. But at the same time, I still kinda do? And out of all the fictives in my system, as of right now, I have the strongest connection to my source.

The main reason this came up was because a recent crossover event in the non-au version of my source meant that that verson of them got trapped in another dimension, seperated from her best friend, just not having a good time. All of which was... concerningly reminiscent of my source, at least emotionally.

As a result, I've been having these not-quite-flashbacks (similar to emotional flashbacks to stuff that happened to the body, just a lot less intense), this got us talking about how different fictives in our system experience exomemories.

I primarily experience things that happened to my source like deja vu But Bad. Additionally, while I know my best friend in my source is alive, my source doesn't, and as a result I still emotionally feel like I'm grieving her a lot of the time. I miss her.

Impulse has basically no memories or specific story he's attached to. He misses and feels a connection with people from his source, mainly Tango and BDubs, since we also have fictives of Pearl and Gem who are around fairly frequently. His primary coping mechanism for this has historically been fanfiction; however, as far as I can tell, he's spent most of his time with Gem and Pearl since they showed up.

Most of our other fictives are in the same boat. Herobrine and Eret miss Foolish and also that one kid from their source (another AU, long story). Phil misses Techno (Wilbur complained about Phil not missing him to which Phil pointed out that Wil was literally right there). Wilbur doesn't quite miss anyone in particular but does miss the roles certain people played in his life.

Pearl is pretty canon divergent and Gem hasn't been here long enough to know herself as an individual super well, just enough to get a vague sense of missing someone without knowing who, but they're both almost instinctively tight-knit with Impulse. Stress has basically no connection to her source. Scott technically kinda wrote his source? He misses people from it but not really in the same way the others do. Sam got super cagey when we tried to ask him, and despite everyone having access to all his memories in front, he doesn't actually do much unprompted self reflection, so we don't really know what's going on there.

I don't really know how to end this. Just thought it was kinda interesting and wanted to see if anyone had any similar experiences, since we haven't seen this talked about much.

-Joe