#I don't really write him anymore
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Day6 + wax play?
Maaaaan... I've always always thought Jae would be into wax play.
#I don't really write him anymore#Or include him in Day6 discourse#But it's HIM ONLY#thank you!#Day6 smut#Jae smut#Eaj smut
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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I think it's really annoying that leo has completely falsified memories of jason too and this is barely acknowledged in the books
#it is also barely acknowledged by the fandom but I blame the books for that#call me crazy but I think that's a big deal actually!#he grew up with nothing! no close friends! now his memories of his best friends are fake!#the whole tlh gang obviously become close in the end but I just think leo and jason in particular warranted more thought#rick clearly doesn't dwell on it with leo bc friendships and romance are not given the same weight#one of the first things pov jason says about leo is “if someone like this guy is my friend then my life must be messed up”#(not a callout of jason I think it was hilarious and understandable. he is So Confused)#but idk instead leo's reaction in the books is mostly framed as Ok finally I don't have to be the third wheel anymore#Wait fuck they're dating again anyway!#which is also understandable but I would love to also see him Struggle More with the fact that those memories aren't even real to begin wit#something something friendships are just as valuable and significant and consequential as romances#leo valdez#jason grace#rr crit#<- this is barely a fleshed out criticism of the books themselves but just in case#pjo hoo toa#I could say something about how people hate jiper for this same reason but I won't bc I don't care about jiper really#beyond my general feelings that the way their breakup was written was one of rick's worst writing moments
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i finished the game last night, here are my unpolished thoughts about the final act and what i liked & didn't like. this is very long and probably incoherent lol
what i liked:
the whole final battle was awesome, i loved the combat, and i really enjoyed the huge cutscenes of everyone fighting together. i had been really disappointed earlier about the lack of a battle scene at weisshaupt a la ostagar in origins, and this definitely made up for it
i liked the suicide mission and actually getting to assign people their roles in the battle
i LOVED Solas's betrayal, that whole section in the fade prison with the statues was one of the strongest scenes in the game, i think the entire relationship between Rook and Solas is really well developed. as the player, we know Solas is manipulating them, but i think they did a good job making it so it's still believable for Rook to fall for his tricks, especially with the Blood of Arlathan quest before this. (also it's very obvious Solas is Weekes' favorite, wish they would have just stuck to him and not all that other dogshit...lol)
i liked the idea of Varric's role here, but not the execution. i'll come back to this lmao
the giant dread wolf and archdemon fight was cool as fuck. no notes. that's just classic rule of cool, baby
also i had Davrin in my party while fighting alongside Solas and i really enjoyed his banter with him and how hard he laid into Solas's ass. it was very satisfying. yippee go Davrin!
okay. now. what i didn't like (sorry not going to bother with bullet points, it's going to be longer down here lol):
while i liked the suicide mission structure, i hated how the game all but told you who to assign where. there were no stakes at all, there was no way to get it wrong unless you did so intentionally.
this also brings me to. The Choice. between Davrin and Harding. i understand the need for a "fallen hero" here, it ties into the entire theme of regret with Solas as we see in the fade prison, it was necessary for Rook to be the person "at fault" (aka directly make the choice that ends with someone getting killed) but this choice was dogshit. it also was really fucking stupid to see Harding climb up and stand atop a giant stone pillar, and then NOT use her stone magic!!! i don't hate the idea of someone dying here, but this was just a series of failed choices over and over again. we should not have pitted returning fan fave Harding against the single Black companion (who comes in late and barely even gets his own story outside of his damn pet)-- it should have been Harding (narratively satisfying, she's been here since the beginning and dies for the fight) or Lucanis (he is literally the guy taking the shot), we also shouldn't have tied all the dwarf lore revelations to a character that can just fucking die at the end, and we shouldn't have had her stand on a giant stone pillar when she has STONE MAGIC!! i knew this choice was coming but her death still caught me off guard cus i was fully expecting her to collapse that stone pillar on her, not use her stupid puny bow 😭
i think this choice is also weakened by the fact that it's THEE only choice. it's obviously an echo of the earlier Treviso and Minrathous choice, which also didn't really seem to affect much outside of potentially losing the corresponding factions (and i think Lucanis's romance gets locked out?) i saved Treviso, so i got the Treviso questline later, and i assume that you get a Minrathous specific questline with the Shadow Dragons if you save the other instead (haven't seen myself tho so i'm not sure, just guessing). but it's very easy to recover the Shadow Dragon's reputation, and the final battle takes place in Minrathous no matter what. the only way for companions to die or the battle to fail is to just straight up ignore quests. you can't lose a faction's support at all unless you intentionally try to do so. i don't even think you can lose companions at all unless you intentionally ignore their quests and place them in the wrong spot. though the game still holds your hand through the battle and basically Tells You who to put where so they survive.
and to be fair. this is true for the suicide mission in mass effect 2, but the thing is, there is so much more dialogue and variations with how you can play your character and interact with the companions and the world than there is in veilguard, it makes it feel like you do have more control over your character and the narrative, even if it's just the illusion of choice.
and then with Solas, it doesn't matter, he always ends up trapped/linked to the Fade, it just changes how he feels. (they also do this with the First Warden. i was excited for a potential variation between punching/not punching, but all it changes is his attitude when you find him later in Davrin's quest) okay.... well. is he going to return again after that post credit scene? and are they really going to write 3 (or 4, with lavellan i guess) different branching personality variations?
i think the powers that be just wanted to get rid of him in a way that would still leave the dragon age setting ultimately unaltered and open for more games in the future. especially given the secret post credits scene. which i also have an issue with. we're going to go from "it was all the Evanuris fault" to Actually, it was this secret third thing and everything we did was for nothing! AGAIN! if they want to make more dragon age games, they can just... start a new story. do they know that. (the fact they're implying Loghain was influenced by some outside force to do what he did at ostagar actually has me livid lol. leave origins alone!!!!)
anyways. now the fade prison. i have two issues, my main one being Varric. i actually started to suspect early on something was up with him, because he just sits in that damn infirmary the entire game, no interactions, barely any dialogue. i think Varric was horribly underutilized in this game, and it results in all of the emotional beats around him falling flat for me. of course, it's emotional for ME, the player, because Varric is a fan fave returning character and one of my own personal favorites. as far as i've seen in game, though... Rook has no relationship with him at all. i think this game would have been vastly improved with short playable origins that showed the two meeting and developing a relationship, and also he really really needed to have more scenes and dialogue in general. he's barely in the second half of the game, literally just sitting all by himself in that damn room, and even when he is in the cutscenes he has one single line that everyone obviously just ignores. it sucked. very disappointing finale for a really beloved character... it could have been so good if it was good....
because i DO love the idea of Solas using him to manipulate Rook (and i really like Varric and Solas's relationship & the way they contrast against each other), and also the idea of how being tricked in that way would actually affect Rook-- what's real, what's not, can they even trust what they're seeing at all anymore? especially when Solas "glitches" between Varric and Lucanis (idk if it's always him or your LI? would be cool if it's your LI, that's what i assumed) after slaying Ghilan'nain-- this could have tied in with the final romance scene. but of course the game doesn't get into any of that at all.
and now issue 2. how the fuck did Solas do that LOL. how did he switch places, how did he get out, how did it take Rook in his place when it was designed for elven gods? where are the other elven gods (did i just miss this explanation? did the other two just kill them in there)? 🤷 when did this place suddenly turn into a prison of regrets? was that Solas's presence influencing it, or did he do that intentionally for Rook? dont know! who cares. moving on...
i romanced Lucanis, and i was really disappointed with his romance. the final scene was sweet, but.... i think particularly with Lucanis you can tell so much of his story and arc ended up on the cutting room floor, it feels disjointed and as if we're missing pieces, and you can feel it in his romance, too. i also really didnt understand the "keep flirting (not a lock in) or end it now" choices that didnt feel like they did anything at all. why was i given like 3 different times to break up with him when we weren't even dating yet lmao. the romance was a bummer, of course i love the setting and the story but i go into these games expecting strong romance along with it and i was really banking on that being the highlight in this mess of a game but. alas
this also segues me back into the whole "trapped in the Fade prison" section. why was there no reunion with both your LI and everyone else? apparently Rook was in there for WEEKS!!! they hardly communicate this and Rook just reappears and jumps straight back into leading the team, no tears or questions asked about how they found them, how they got out, what everyone was thinking while they were gone... we also get a deus ex machina knife, how convenient that they did all that while i was gone and no explanation is given as to how it could possibly fool Solas, just trust us bro! 💆 i feel like trying to craft our own copy of the knife should have been something actively happening in the background throughout the entire game, and it gets finished while Rook is in the Fade. but this truly came out of nowhere lol
again i think it's obvious things were cut and rewritten and maybe this was the result of a frantic scramble to come up with something that would work, and i'll be generous and blame it on that, i guess...
when we finally get to the final confrontation with Solas, i was very excited, because again i feel like Rook and Solas's relationship is the best in the game, Solas's writing is consistent and strong, i knew this scene had to be good.... and i guess it was? but it felt so unsatisfying. i chose to fight him (my Rook would do anything to get him to shut up) and i was hoping for. an actual fight. you can do it with Mythal earlier in the game, and we already saw his giant wolf form, i was so excited. and then. no<3
okay! sure. we beat him with the power of friendship (not surprised and not even making fun of it here, it makes sense narratively, i knew some version of this was coming after the whole comparing Rook versus Solas bit in the Fade) but come onnnnn i wanted to fight the giant wolf.... sigh. i did check out the other endings as well, and it's clear the redemption ending is the "true" ending and also the best written one imo.
overall. this was a bad dragon age game. i had a lot of fun playing it though, so it's not a bad game game. the gameplay loop never got boring, i never got tired exploring or doubling back, i loved the maps, i loved the combat, and i did love the companions. but the writing is atrocious and racist. this is a horrible dragon age game. i don't know where i fall on recommending this. again, i've had a lot of fun playing and dissecting it, but i dont know that i could recommend this to dragon age fans. this would have been way more successful as a completely different fantasy game. the changes to the lore, disregarding the majority of the games that came before it, the horrible depictions of returning characters (the inquisitor and isabela were the worst offenders for me) the setting and characters feeling watered down and incomplete, the complete lack of the classic "grey morality" shtick (even if it's not always been implemented well)... idk man. bummer! it's obvious there was a cohesive vision at one point, i do think this game is a casualty of the current state of the gaming industry (i was honestly surprised it was functional on launch. not shade at bioware just in general that is rare to see now) we know EA thrashed bioware throughout development, and bioware made a lot of really bad choices, too (the racism is absolutely their doing, they made that choice back in inquisition). but we can see, particularly in the artbook, that there were good ideas & an intention to actually tie everything together and give this story the finale it deserved... but it all got lost along the way in a very ugly, chaotic development. and the game really suffers for it.
#datv spoilers#datv critical#i mean theres some positives too.. lmao#this isnt really as articulate as my other posts im not really digging in too hard this is just. straight off my dome after playing#i do eventually want to come back to davrin's quest and write about that but i really . don't know what to say. it's Bad lmao#HIS ENDING SLIDE JUST BEING THE GRIFFONS. NOTHING ABOUT HIM. LMAO#anyways. i might give it a day or two before jumping back in with a different playthru to see what i've missed#maybe my opinion on some things will change but. we'll see#obviously this is just my experience with the game#im sure there is lore or potential explanations for some things i may have overlooked or missed. but 🤷#idk if i'll make anymore formal posts at this point i feel like ive said what i have to say#i was possessed but now im free#da posting
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The way I will simply never recover from this page:
Vegeta's Panic and then IMMEDIATE affection for his new baby
Vegeta being excited to have a daughter
Goku assuming his wife Magic'd their children out of herself
Supreme Kai being embarrassed for Goku
Beerus getting wasted
Bulma saying she will raw dog her husband frequently and expeditiously with her whole chest, in front of god and everybody
Whis being like 'i gotchu babe 💅 but i gotta borrow ur man first or there'll be no more boning for anybody lol'
#i have tried to watch the anime and it is just so SO far off course I can't do it I can't stomach that shit anymore lol#it's not even the same series it's like a team of guys going 'be vigilant guys goku can't be funny or interesting under any circumstances'#'Make sure nobody gets a personality outside of their Token Trope we don't want to have to trust our audience at all got it??'#this anime did toriyama's writing so dIRTYYYY LOL no WONDER he didn't watch the anime for his shows it's BAD out here#i'm being a hater i'm sorry but the anime is SO AFRAID of Goku having flaws and the manga really is just CHOICE#especially if you're a vegebul stan they're so solid they're so quietly and comfortably in love#the anime is just tsundere'ing him through his dad era for some reason even though he and Bulma are fully the Squad Parents in the manga#Piccolo is Team Grandpa and we stan an icon#Vegeta had one (1) Reaction to PDA and then Did His Best to navigate it and Try -- and the next time we see Bulma she's pregnant lmao#dbtag
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Creature. (The rendered ones are referenced from manga panels)
#mediocre art#tokyo ghoul#On some level I think I should like Kaneki more than I do but there's this weird sense of detachment#I have not only from him but being able to perceive him as a character?#I don't even dislike him it's just that I can't feel any which way about him at all. He's a catalyst for events#feels more like the conch from Lord of the Flies or something rather than a fictional person.#He doesn't suffer and learn from the consequences#he just suffers and does what got him there again. It's arguable that the lack of punishment denies him the satisfaction#but if that's the case why does he end the story with everything working out perfectly for him?#Why do his friends oblige his flaws and accept his lack of change?#Is the problem my lack of understanding or his lack of good writing?#Is he well written?#Why do I like a certain character from a different anime who's a very similar person with very similar dynamics#but with a goal and acceptance by himself and those around him that his actions really are reprehensible and cannot truly be atoned for#not only more but to the point that he's actually one of my favorites?#Am I just sitting upon a throne of entitlement#because his thought process and experiences are not catered to be applicable to and understood by myself?#GOD IF I KNOW ANYMORE#I'm not pressuring myself to like him or anything I just don't understand anything about kaneki these days and I don't know why
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I'm personally blaming @starbiology and everyone who has reblogged or commented the other piece for this.
Bonus comic featuring my grundo:
#every minute i keep working on this i take psychological damage#neotag#neopets#vin memes#you'reall to blame for this monstruosity#i literally just searched “babygirl” pose and went “I... i can do that”#i didn't stop to think if i should though#Star i was gonna respond 2 the reblog with the first image only but decided it needed its own post for quarantining this... thing#again if youre seeing this with no context#you dont need context#i... i don't think there's any for that matter#just picture me writing all this tags while losing health in posion damage every turn#i am working on neo oc images i just need to render them but i.... i needed the world to see this before#my blog's already tainted anyway LMFAOO#yeah uh im dead in neo canon i drew this and inmediately got taken back by yours trully and never came back#also i'll try making a ref as well for my sona so i can draw them more im just really indecisive in what color to make him#split it is for now#i don't want to look at this anymore end me#i am making more drawings to kinda cover this thing from the light but at this point it just keeps reappearing like a mold#thats it im done see u all in kreludorian therapy#kreludorian health insurance in a farse
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I started in DC by reading fanfics, but as I began to read actual comics, I started to be unable to read the actual fanfic that got me into it in the first place because it's so out of character.
But there are still some stories that I love to read because I love the found family trope so much, even if it isn't really accurate to the source material.
As a comics purist (sometimes), are there tropes that you like enough that you'll still enjoy a fic even if it's not accurate to canon?
oh my god this is SUCH a fun question. bc while i started with the comics, there were certain characters and/or character dynamics where i was exposed to the fanon before the canon (just bc it's hard to read everything when you start out just to read some fanfic) and so i've definitely experienced the fanon to canon transition. (*especially* with Jason Todd. i had only read 80s/90s stuff where he was already dead or the New-52 bc that was on-going when i got into comics and man. the fanon misunderstandings i had about him before i got frustrated and sat down to read all his pre-Flashpoint stuff were absolutely bonkers.) and aside from that, whilst i tend to prefer canon over fanon, i'm not past giving fanon its flowers for occasionally having really interesting insights. occasionally. so some of my fanon "guilty pleasure" tropes would probably be
Morally Grey Tim Drake - this is one where if you try to back it up with canon, i *will* get salty about it. of everyone in the Batfam aside from maybe Bruce and Cass, Tim has the *most* black and white morals. often his internal conflicts are routed in such an inability to compromise his moral views and it can cause him to clash with other characters. he's *very* stiff and rigid in his beliefs and is *rare* to compromise in even the smallest ways. i mean, DC has repeatedly used Tim Drake of Tomorrow/Savior/Gun Batman!Tim for a reason. it's to demonstrate that of everyone, Tim *cannot* have his morals compromised. there's no grey area for him. he's zero or a hundred, so if he tips over the edge of "too far" he tips *all the way*, and doing so is one of his worst fears, how he could go "too far" if he let himself. a couple panels out of context from Red Robin (2009) (which was a grief spiral for Tim to begin with) don't change that. now that said. if it's done *right*, i sort of love Tim being morally grey in fanfic. it takes a specific flavor for me, and it's incredibly important to include that mental spiral along with it, of him struggling to justify it. i don't have any interest in "Tim Drake is loosy goosy with Bruce's morals and has the highest kill count and no one knows teehee" bc it doesn't play with the interesting parts of making Tim morally grey, which are fracturing his psyche. but all in all, i think it's fun to put Tim in a morally grey area and i will read it in fanfic and i enjoy writing it a lot
Joker Junior!Tim Drake - i've not written it on this account (yet) but on my main ao3 account one of my biggest fics surrounds this concept. this is one of those "well *technically* it's canon but only in a specific very divorced from the comics universe and would not work at all in the main timeline" so, i categorize it as fanon in that 95% of fics exploring the concept are not doing so within the Batman Beyond universe, but the main timeline. i just love it. I'll take any excuse to whump Tim, but this concept is so fun. psychologically breaking Tim will always be my favorite pastime. there are so many ways to explore the long-term effects this could have on him, how it could affect the Batfam. i'm not a fan of it being used as a "gotcha" to Jason or Babs' trauma with the Joker to paint Tim as the Ultimate Victim, but it is fun to see how their relationships would be affected by being mutual victims of him. (i have a vague JayTim idea where TIm fully retires from being Robin after being Joker Junior and killing the Joker, making Steph Robin for most of his typical Robin era and Jason still tracks him down out of curiosity bc he wants to know what happened and all. very underbaked but i've got thoughts.)
Renegade/Apprentice of Slade!Dick Grayson - this is another one where yes, this happened *sort of* in canon, but i highly doubt most people writing Renegate!Dick have read or are actually pulling from Nightwing: Renegade. it's just an exploration fo the concept fo Dick being Slade's apprentice and i will always eat it up in any capacity. whether Dick grows up with Slade from a young age, or chooses Slade for whatever reason later in life. it's not anything that works in canon bc it compromises Dick morally (similar to the above with Tim) and therefore will always come across incredibly fanon in most fics. but i can't say i don't enjoy it. it's fun to make Dick a little morally fucked up and see what you can make him under Slade's tutelage.
Jason & Damian Meeting in the League -there's no world where i believe this could work in the canon comics. (maybe in the Young Justice cartoon i suppose, but even then i think it's iffy) i would go as far to say it's wildly unrealistic. i don't see a world where Ra's would let Jason anywhere *near* Damian, bc Jason was Talia's pet project that he didn't approve of. that all said, there's something very interesting about how they *could've* met and them potentially bonding during that timeframe. them being somewhat brotherly during this time because Jason sees Bruce in Damian and sort of latches onto the kid and Damian is full of wonder hearing real stories about Batman and Robin, then that getting violently ripped away by Jason leaving the League is fun to me. it's fun how that could affect them within the Batfam and all. it's super fanon to me, but i do not care. i will eat it up
Bad Dad Clark Kent/Good Dad Lex Luthor - i will admit as a late, i've been less and less kind to this particular fanon bc of everything i've argued with people about, *this* one seems the most pervasive as misunderstood fanon. i don't mind when fanon exists, my gripe is when ppl try to claim it's canon. and the *arguments* i've had over this with people who can never seem to cite an actual comic are... frustrating. but that said, i think there is something fun to this strictly in fanon. the duality of who you expect to accept Kon and who you expect to hurt him being flipped is just sort of fun for the occasional guilty pleasure fic. it can make Kon's internal conflict a bit more interesting. the same goes for the Jon favoritism from Clark, it's not a canon thing (and i rlly wish ppl understood how complicated the timeline of Kon and Jon is and any distance from Clark toward Kon isn't malice, it's that Kon is from a timeline that Clark does not remember in the current canon so Clark just straight up doesn't know the poor kid.) but it's sort of fun to give Kon that complex of being overlooked and forgotten sometimes. making Kon just a *bit* more Luthor than Kent will *always* appeal to me in fanfic, especially if he *knows* it's wrong but craves approval from anyone who will give it.
Good Dad Bruce Wayne - i'll die on the hill Bruce is canonically a shitty father. maybe not to the extreme some people write him as, but he's not great at it. that said, i enjoy it in fanfiction. sometimes, i just want silly fluff or hurt/comfort where Bruce finally gets it right and manages to comfort whatever Batkid is in the fic. one of my favorite fics of all time is hinged on Bruce being a good dad, so i think it's just fun to explore how good the relationships *could* be, if Bruce was slightly less of an asshole. i usually prefer him as an asshole, but there are times i want low stakes nonsense.
Gotham Rogues Having Soft Spots for Robin(s) - just about every Rogue in Gotham has done something absolutely irredeemable, and most of them don't like or care about anyone in the Batfamily. but if there's a fic where one of the Robins inexplicably is sort of close with a Rogue and they have a cute silly relationship out of it? I'll eat it up i fear. Steph and the Riddler are besties? I'll believe it. Tim and Scarecrow get along pretty well? give me ten of these. Rogues protecting Robins just hits a spot. the unexpected nature of the relationship, as well as the fact they see each other regularly, can make a lot of good fodder.
#necrotic answerings#canon vs fanon#batfanon#batfamily#I was *going* to include “Janet and Jack Drake are bad parents”#then realized I don't really like that fanon anymore.#but I used to go *hard* for it even knowing it wasn't canon. it was all projection but still#nowadays I think the tragedy of Tim losing his parents the way he did is *far* worse if they loved him and were good to him.#I'm so serious about the Kon thing i've had *nasty* arguments where ppl got so rude to me telling me to “Google it”#like listen I get it. kon's canon backstory is currently difficult to understand#the timeline of the superboy mantle is a little confusing and most people have not read young justice (2019)#so for fanon it's far easier to simplify it as “clark just kinda sucks to kon” and i enjoy that#but the canon is also fun. it's fun when you consider how fucked up it is most people don't remember kon#and the timeline he remembers doesn't exist anymore.#also technically since they never killed off new-52!superboy on page there could be two superboys/kon-els running around rn. who knows.#i like to believe there is bc it's funny.#i have wanted to write a new-52!konkon/tim/kon sandwich#with the “is it selfcest or not” question#bc new-52!kon wasn't a clone of clark and lex.#so like. he's arguably a different character just sharing the name kon-el for some reason#also on the nightwing: renegade thing i know *damn* well most fanon-only fans haven't read it (no shade in that)#bc the fanon crowd despises devin grayson and she wrote it.#one day i'll write a meta about fandom treatment of devin grayson trust me.#this question was SO fun#i feel like i should have more answers?#if you'd asked me like six months ago this list would be three times as long#but the more i exist in this fandom somehow the saltier i get idk what's happening#so now i'm more and more attached to canon#but i will never begrudge someone for liking fanon#like i said my issue with it is the confusion of what is canon
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i love you flashbacks i love you pov shifts i love you nonlinear storytelling
#saving my ass over here#wars hates me#leg. also hates me.#i need to figure out how to properly structure this and it might be a little confusing honestly#but i know what has to happen#problem is that i don't want to tell it straight cuz that is Uninteresting and is Not Working well#could always do leg first but there's a very specific part that i need to tell#and it's super cool and really important and i think it needs to go first#plus time needs to be ok and i honestly. i don't want to pay attention to him so i'm just gonna show him getting better and move on#he's just sorta there#i'm in that part where you think really really hard about a story for months but don't actually write anything#it just infects you#idk anymore man s&a is curled around my brain like a boa constrictor but i can't get it off#chicken scratch#smoke & ashes
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Are there still Crown Prince!Wilhelm stans out there despite S3 turning it into the number one problem? Please report, we need to unite and no, that doesn't mean that I don't support Wille's mental health and happiness and that I love the monarchy, some people out there must get it
#young royals#prince wilhelm#any crown prince wille believers speak up please don't let yourself be silenced alskdjdh#i'mma be loud and petty and just obnoxious about loving crown prince wille in contrast to what else i see and what the show says#it just feels so alienating these days and like you're wrong in finding crown prince wille interesting and preferring it#and you're not allowed to even express different thoughts bc canon told you this is how it is and how dare you want this life for wille#I wish i knew about more fics too that write about crown prince wille. it feels like that's forbidden to do now unless he's unhappy in it#and it's just shown how horrible it is and how trapped he is and exploring a different alternative with him actually being a competent +#confident crown prince in the future and simon and him still working out and working together and bring changes to the system#but the show has made sure the fans can't come up with their own interpretation and that's completely 'unrealistic' now#and going against canon and exploring a different possibility is somehow impossible now#and means you're an evil spokesperson for the evil monarchy#god forbid i want him as the fictional crown prince in this fictional show reading/writing a fictional story#stories where he renounces (and that's all I see nowadays implied or otherwise) are just not interesting to me and i hate it#i even try to avoid reading most drabbles bc of the implied reality they portray and barely go through the yr tag on ao3 anymore#when i say it's alienating to be in the fandom these days i mean it. it's tough and frustrating#anyway...anybody else feeling this way?#let me know so i can follow some more i really hope there are more active blogs#mine
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y'know what we don't talk about enough? Hazel died. We talk about how she grew up in the 30's and 40's and we talk about how out of place she feels in the modern world, but! She died! She was dead! She has spent more time dead than alive, and not by a close margin!
How does that effect a person??? We got some of it in the flashbacks, but once those caught up with her present timeline and she shared them, they just kind of... disappeared. And she was a regular girl with some weird past experiences. That's one way of doing it, sure!
I think it would have been a lot cooler if she was just a touch creepier. If she felt a little bit Wrong. Yeah, in general she's more approachable than her brother, she's more sociable and less closed off, but. If you actually spend any time with her, it can be difficult to tell which child of the underworld is actually more unsettling.
Hazel is bright of personality and has a dazzling smile, but sometimes she'll just... shut down. She'll go completely blank for like half an hour and nobody knows what to do with it. Sometimes she forgets she's alive. Sometimes she'll spout the grimmest shit you've ever heard like it's nothing, she won't even notice it's weird until the room goes quiet. She spent decades in Asphodel, which is designed to make people forget about themselves and wander around for eternity, only she didn't have the luxury of forgetting! Wild! After she comes back to life, sometimes she forgets that she's allowed to Do Stuff now. She can spend so long sitting and staring at nothing. Sometimes she'll start crying on cloudless days because it hits her again that she can actually feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and she can hear birdsong. Every little mundane experience is a blessing and she will make you remember that in the most foreboding way possible.
#hazel levesque#hoo#mj talks#like. i am fascinated with characters who die and come back different and it JUST hit me that there was so much potential for hazel there#the idea of how death lingers was not explored At All in heroes of olympus#of course there's the obvious part in that there were what. 3 named character deaths total? 4 if you count leo#which i very much don't because it didn't stick! there were no consequences to this gigantic war!#the first series did well with that because we had plenty of named characters who died#even though some of them were introduced only to die like six chapters later. we still knew them on some level#and more importantly percy knew them. he felt their loss in a way that made consequences seem real#heroes of olympus didn't have any of that. hazel could have been a great way to talk about it a little more!#also i just love characters who have obviously gone through death. that has to change a person! tell me how it changed you!#anyway. i think i'll make hazel creepier from now on in my writing#she deserves it <3#nico is creepy in an obvious way. he's got power over death and that clings to him like a second skin. he can't hide it#and he's learned that he doesn't have to. there is power in being othered#hazel seems lovely when you first meet her! none of the death power all of the glitter and gold and riches#and then she'll look you dead in the eye and say 'you really don't know how lucky you are to be able to breathe until you can't anymore'#and move on like it's nothing! what!#underworld siblings
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Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.
#I can't remember the last time I took a Deadpool comic and genuinely had a good time about it#I hate the direction they took with his character and it's so disrespectful that I don't even talk about I don't even think *any* Deadpool#fan genuinely talk about it because were so tired of his kids characterization we all just collectively decided to ignore whatever hell#marvel through at him#but rant aside#it's just–#I am not sure if comic books are fun anymore I don't even know who I am making content for half of the people on my notes haven't touched#comic book and aren't pretending to do so#people who read the comics tend to be so mean or bitter about it that even if you follow most will be angry about something#comic or fan related and I don't know if I can blame them but following that is draining#and as much as I was trying to be a good sport about it you make a post about comic book characters and#and the overwhelming response is 'I don't read the comics but'– following up by a take about them that doesn't even recognize any core#aspect of their personality that you can't even grasp you can't even recognize them#you can't recognize them on tue cannon you can't recognize them on the fannon#and no matter how engaging you try to make content about the fandom people just–*refuse* to read it. And then– they *refuse* to tag fannon#content as fannon#and *refuse* to leave either#Yes we are all having fun but how can a character tag be so so filled with people who have no idea of who they are#how can a character can be properly loved and take care of and have content that respect them if no one makes any attempt to *know them*#and it's disheartening because *comics* are supposed to be fun *fannon are supposed to be fun*#but for aome reason it's really *really* hard to have fun here anymore#I created this page to share my love for the characters I care about and see more content of people who care about them too#but I can't even *find* people who care about them any more and when I do they're all so angry and upset– And I *cant even blame them*#I just... I don't know why I am doing this anymore or for who I am doing this anymore#sorry to vent but it's been a while since I haven't been had a genuinely good time™ enjoying comics#I don't think even people who write those comics enjoy those comics or care about those characters#Sometimes feels like everyone is projecting on those characters rather than *writing about them*. And I can't find them anymore#fanfics used to be about love petters to characters who you love#nowadays seems like a competition to see who makes more funny words with tropes pre-written since 2007#vent
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I've said I want Oliver in AHS, Oliver said he wants Oliver in AHS...
#also update: i read stuff again and I'm not really mad at him anymore#but yeah that sure was some shitty ass writing#also i still don't understand why he wants that for his character if he were to be single...but that's really all he was saying#which contradicts what he said before but whatever#oliver stark
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any updates about your fics?? :0
(pls don’t feel pressured to respond to this if you’re busy!!)
!! hello anon :3!! <333
ive been writing a specific part for Unstoppable Force, where volition and harry talking to each other. and oh holy shit this fucking conversation is like!!! YEAH it's in character and i know what to write, but it hurts so fucking bad to actually write it, help me hgkjg
while the volition and electrochemistry thing is the main plot, on the side there's also kim who just transferred precincts, and harry who has a crush on him. and the kim/harry parallels to volition/echem... "i'm putting up a front of reserved responsibility and i have to repress any emotion that could compromise my commitment to my duties." immovable object and "i feel like the worst kind of mess and i want to get better but i don't know if i deserve to be helped or loved because im a mess." unstoppable force :']
but VOLITION IS STILL A SKILL, SO HE'S ADVISING HARRY WITH THIS PERSPECTIVE. so when harry says "kim shouldn't like me, huh?" then volition (who is projecting himself and echem onto kim and harry's relationship) swallows and says, "you're right. kim shouldn't like you, and if he does, he feels like he's making a mistake. he probably wants - more than anything in the world - to stop feeling that way, and for you to stop feeling that way about him."
and harry (who is taking this literally because he doesn't know what's happening between voli and echem) sadly agrees "yeah. liking me will probably get in the way of his work. he shouldn't want to love me, that just... wouldn't make sense for him. im only making him worse."
BOYS. ITS A FEEDBACK LOOP. ITS AN ECHO CHAMBER. YOU'RE ONLY FUELING EACH OTHER'S ISSUES. STOP STOP STOP HGJKG
#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE. HELP HGJKG KIM AND ELECTROCHEMISTRY COME GET YOUR GUYS THEYRE SPIRALING.#see originally i wrote the scene going smoothly. volition going oh don't be like that. i'm not the guy you go to for love advice so we can#talk about it more during dinner so empathy and the other skills can give you advice for you and kim. it'll be okay.#and then the scene carries on. but like?? NO. as much as i'd love this conversation to end nicely‚ volition starts off this scene really#stressed!! he's so worried about letting this love affair with echem compromise his duties that /THE WORRY/ IS COMPROMISING HIS DUTIES.#WHY would he wait for other skills? all skills think they know what's best for harry!! of COURSE he'd be eager to give his advice here.#he's volition. harry needs him and he has to prove he can still do his job. so he overcompensates his role: boring responsible skill#harry you shouldn't love kim and kim shouldn't love you. everyone should just focus on their work and go back to normal!!!#he's accidentally letting himself project his own problems on harry's problems and THAT'S FUCKING UP HIS ADVICE!!!#it's in character but AURGH i can't WRITE THIS ANYMORE (/j) its causing me morale damage hgjkg its so HARD writing conflict :']#or at least conflict that isn't like. external. i just want everyone to be happyyyy but i /must/ create problems for them for plot :']#task: unstoppable force#inland drabbles#still dont know if this makes sense? i'll think on it some more...#sorry this took so long anon hgkj <33#volta transmissions
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The Stranding - Chp 73 - Hidden Duality
I was in emergency for 8 hours last night and never got seen by a Doctor, so have a chapter before I go get myself some more sleep to catch up <3
By the time 2am rolled around it had been over an hour and a half since the last person had been called in to be seen, and we had noticed that only the triage nurse and the registration nurse were still there. My province has a wildly concerning lack of Doctors and healthcare professionals right now, and I couldn't wait another 4-5 hours for the next shift change, so we left and went to bed out of it. Hoping I can stave off the worst of the discomfort with over-the-counter medicine until I see my family Doctor on Monday.
Meanwhile, the gang is experiencing some shifts in dynamics that none of them find particularly comfortable as they assess the wreckage of the Swift Landslide. I hope you all enjoy!
Much love and be kind to yourselves <3
~ Belle
#g/t#giant/tiny#giant tiny#g/t writing#g/t author#gtauthor#gt#gentle giantess#author thoughts#g/t story#giant/tiny story#giant tiny story#giant/tiny writing#A frustrating thing about yesterday was that I needed my sister to tell me that my family doctor's office auto-clears the cancellation list#and that for almost 2 weeks I had been off of the cancellation list and no one had warned me#I don't know if anyone thinks it's concerning enough to get me in to see him that I could've seen him last week#but god I was so angry I started to cry yesterday when my sister told me that I just... wasn't on it anymore#Called and got them to put me back on but my appointment is Monday so like will they really care enough to call me?#I don't blame any of the staff for what happened last night in the ER by the way#We really have 0 fucking doctors here now and even the smartest and best paid humans are not robots#It's hard times all around#Sorry for le ramble
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something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle
#thank you this has been the laziest media analysis post of my career#dbtag#media analysis#something something a game to goku is a threat to vegeta etc#there's a pinned thought here about how Vegeta also didn't learn about the dragon balls until he was ?? 30?? and so all loss is permanent#and goku has been familiar since he was ~12 and hasn't faced a permanent consequence since he was 10 years old and even then he got closure#sometimes I think about how Vegeta saw Trunks die and how Krillin was mad at him for reacting since they could fix it with the dragon balls#but Vegeta has very limited experience with the dragon so to him in that moment that was permanent and Trunks was Dead. Forever.#And we talked before in a 2am post about Vegeta having never experienced grief born of love and I stand by it because his feelings then wer#still very new and very odd and not something he'd accepted until that moment so it was raw power but not as powerful as it could've been#all this to say in my heart of hearts I think Vegeta deserves to retire at the end of super (if super continues) -- not as a warrior#but as an infantryman. he's a prince and now he's got his domain and his family and his planet to look after and I think he deserves#to go home and stay home and help piccolo bully gohan into training more often when goku inevitably leaves to hop the multiverse#geets wanted to take a sabbatical when Bulla was born but didn't get the chance because Freeza coming back freaked him out too much#but whether freeza gets a redemption arc or gets defeated -- Granolah's arc seemed to shift his perspective on being the strongest#and I just grips fist I just think it would be a really nice full circle for Vegeta to inherit his throne in a way he never expected and#finally get his kingdom to look after and protect in the way that he was looking forward to being king of his own planet all those years ag#Goku's got Broly and Jiren and Hit and all the others to keep him busy and happy now -- and if Freeza gets a redemption arc he'll probably#continue playing slap-ass with Goku for the rest of his life -- and Vegeta's got Gohan and Piccolo and Goten and Trunks#I just think them getting a nice bittersweet 'This is where we part ways' would be really nice for both of them because !!#They couldn't have done this without each other. They couldn't have known this kind of life was possible without each other.#So they swap lots and live happier than they ever imagined they could be#especially since Vegeta has proved to himself that he can close any gap Goku creates in progress that's not a concern anymore#And obvs the door's always open!! There's no point closing it Vegeta's tried the locks they don't work on Goku#anyway here's me putting the whole essay in the tags again#this isn't an essay as much as it is stream of consciousness tag blogging#anyway i'm too lazy to write fic or draw comics so we get ramblings instead
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