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psychologeek · 2 years ago

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precios tags:

@robin-the-robo

#Every week Jason posts a chapter and the notes are always something along the lines of:#‘hi! this chapter’s a bit shorter because I was kidnapped by the Black Mask for a couple of days. enjoy!’#‘okay so I didn’t post yesterday because I broke four bones but none of them are in my hand so expect regular updates as always!’#his readers are a bit concerned but this is Gotham after all. shit happens it’s just weird that he’s ALWAYS got shit happening every week#jason todd#red hood#ao3#I’m glad we agree that Jason todd writes fanfics for sure#dc comics#batfam#batfamily

@cap-noodles

#jason writes for the greyghost fandom#and thats how bruce finds out he's alive#because he updated his fic before even becoming red hood#im shaking#jason todd beloved

@its-maemain

#a fic about jasons adventures as an ao3 writer & we get to see his authors notes & his struggles as a writer + vigilante adventures#jason todd#actually how bruce finds out jason is alive is that. as the overprotective parent he is. stalked jason internet usage#as a child#when he gets an email that jason’s ao3 account updated he almost has a heart attack

@nixhydr

#IM SCREAMING#THIS#also i love the mental image that this is how bruce find out that jason is back frim the death#poor man has to take the day off after he gets the notification#this is soooo funny#op your brain is huge#jason todd#dc

@sohotthateveryonedied

#it’s jane austen fanfiction it has to be#he rewrites pride and prejudice but this time it’s batman and superman

@indi-el

#and the fic is bruce wayne x batman

@stormikins

what's the opposite of parents selling you to batman fic

@dyke-terra

#okay but i can't see jason writing fanfic jason writes angsty poetry#i'm sorry but stephanie has a 200k enemies to lovers narusaske modern au#'sorry gang i had to fake my death and leave the country for a while and we didn't have much wifi where i was'#'back on my bullshit tho'

@dipseysparkleflower

Dude...

I updated my fanfic whilst on morphine in a hospital bed after I had a major infection that almost killed me. Like Bitch i may be dying but i'll be damned if I don't update my Coco fanfic.

@roseworth

#GHEKFHSKSJDJ#somewhere else in gotham steph sends tim the link and says#‘hey look that pokémon fic finally updated!!!!’#or actually#steph is also assumed dead at this point#she’s commenting on the fic and tim sees her username in the comments and goes ???????#it’s a double whammy#jason todd#dc

@reineyday

#omg pls#fanfic author jason todd is one of my favourite hc's ever#jason todd#batfamily#imagine a jason comes home au what starts with him finding his wip folder and fics he had finished that he had yet to post#also all the vent fics he would write lmao#bruce wayne rpf fic where bruce gets punched in the face#bat rpf where he writes about the red hood bombing the batmobile the way he was planning to except in the fic he does it#and then he angrily cries about it after he finished writing it#robin & nightwing fic and everyone thinks it's about the current robin but it's jay dealing w his feelings surrounding dick#and then there's all his classic lit fanfiction lol

@alone77

Jason would 100% write a +300k word fic Batman/Bruce Wayne strangers to friends to lovers.

And Alfred is his beta work

@oifaaa

#Dc#Wait I'm reblogging this again bc I realised what type of fanfic Jason would write#Batman sold me to wonder woman fanfic#With tags like batman bashing#Good parent wonder woman#And joker dies

@flopy-hana

#i love that if i read that author's note i would be like 'ok bestie' and just keep reading#so he totally would

@captainlordauditor

#he writes the elizabeth bennett has a gun type austen fanfic#arsonist's lullaby

@forthehonorofthey

streetkid!jason writing reader insert fic where batman comes and rescues you (he goes to the public library and used the computers)

robin!jason writing reader insert where batman adopts you and you become robin (when batman is offworld on missions he will write on the batcomputer)

redhood!jason writing reader insert where you beat batman up (he prints these out and mails them to batman)

#jason todd#jason is a dramatic lil bitch#i love him#robin jason todd#red hood jason todd#all of the rogues love his fics where reader beats up batman

@kawaiikenna

Something I didn’t know I needed. 😆 Bonus that his fanfics are a mix of classics and some niche anime/cartoon.

@ptadadwenkexing

#steph is actually an avid reader of jason’s fics#she shows tim his author’s notes in the passing#tim being who he is does an intensive deep dive because damn this guy has had a crazy life#this rabbit hole leads him to figuring out it’s jason and he’s back from the dead

@emma----7

#all the comments just going with it#because gotham

@gandalfsmallnaturals

#jason todd#actually how Bruce finds out Jason is alive is that. as the overprotective parent he is. stalked Jason internet usage#as a child#when he gets an email that Jason’s AO3 account updated he almost has a heart attack#^ops tags#but i raise you: bruce knows about ao3#he just never got an actual account because the emails kept going to spam#and so jason keeps updating while he’s robin and bruce just has his account bookmarked to read jason’s stuff#when jason dies bruce can’t bring himself to look at the ao3 account with its wildly popular batman joke fic left on a cliffhanger#until!!! sometimes after jason comes back and before bruce knows#jason starts updating fanfics again and coincidentally#a few weeks after this bruce accidentally clicks the bookmark to jason’s ao3#he sees it’s updated#but!!! he thinks that someone hacked jason’s account and his wildly popular batman joke fic#so bruce emails the account like “why are you impersonating my son#and then jason and him organize a meeting causing jason to put together a disguise because bruce can’t know he’s alive yet#think of the dramatics! the theater!#and shenanigans ensue#this may not be a long post but those tags are longer than any dick you’ll see

@warrior-of-the-blue-moon

Okay, this is one. Although not the one I had in mind. https://archiveofourown.org/works/25380178

Let me see if I can find it, it's not old but still. Jason writes on fanfiction.net I think about his adventures as Robin and Tim has printed his stories. After Jason dies and comes back I think he restarts writing under the same user name and Tim finds out. What I don't remember right now is if he finds out because Jason sees the printed fics or is it because Tim tells him about someone that knows about the family and he believes this is a security breach.

Jason as those AO3 authors who have the worst tragedies happening to them and yet still continues to pump out his new chapter every week

Some poor, unbeknownst Gothamite: “My favorite fanfic writer hasn’t posted or updated any of their fanfic in like four years. I don’t want to bug them but I’m always hoping for them to come back. I hope their okay :( ”

Jason, in between cutting off right hand mens heads and antagonize black mask, like Really Living It Up: “hey, sorry, guys! I know it’s been forever! I literally died and clawed my way back from zombiehood, but I’m back now! Hope you enjoy this new chapter!”

#to be continued #part 1 #master post #masterpost #dc #not dp #jason todd #funny shit #Jason Todd #Jason Todd the Fanfic Writer #Lit nerd Jason Todd #batman #Bat Family #batfam #red hood #dick grayson #tim drake #bruce wayne #hc

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letitrainathousandflames · 3 years ago

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Hey sorry to bother. You reblogged something from Lychgate who has an nsfw Twitter (dickgate) where he posts a bunch of really graphic clonecest. He’s a know fetishizer of clones and clonecest.

I truly, dearly hope you reconsider supporting him.

Hi! Thank you for the warning. I don't "support" him or anyone, per se - I see art I like and reblog it. I'm sorry, but I'll have to do a small rant. Firstly: do I fall in the "fetishizer of clones" category? Because most of what I do here is ogle over them and write graphic smut of them with self-insert reader characters. Anyway, moving on:

When I reblog art from the small internet artists here, I'm not raising a flag or promoting them or anything, I'm just... slapping some pretty/cool/funny art on my blog bc I liked it, y'know? My reblog of some person's doodle doesn't - and shouldn't - mean an immediate display of my agreeing with everything this person says and thinks.

In fact, we share glimpses of each other's thoughts, headcanons, opinions with a reblog and we move on to the next one. I have mutuals who like all sorts of things I don't - soup, hiking, the brithish royalty, hunting. I still reblog their stuff, and that doesn't mean our opinions on those topics align.

Of course, I'm always grateful for warnings about me accidentally rebbloging content from a terf/nazi/homophobe/pedophile/scammer, etc, etc. because then I can erase said post and report the user who made it to try make Tumblr a safer community. Disagreeing on whether soup is good isn't the same as disagreeing on lgbt rights.

But when it comes to shipping... man, I don't really care, y'know? Since the clones are all adults, this falls to me in the "ship and let ship" category, and I really lack the mental energy to get into the whole debate of what artist is writing/drawing what about people who, at the end of the day, are still nothing but [adult] fictional characters.

Because here's the deal: who really cares about how or with whom these characters are being shipped? "The children"? They shouldn't be looking at art marked as 18+ in an account that says "no minors". People (like myself) with squicks/triggers/traumas? Tags and blocking systems exist precisely to aid you with that. I use them and I love it. People that Don't Like that ship and want everyone to stop shipping it because they said so? Tags and blocking, again.

I didn't mean to soapbox on your ask, anon, and I'm not even defending Lychgate here bc I don't really care enough about him or this debate to do so tbh.

But I want to emphasize that I only appreciate these kind of warnings when they are about serious, actively damaging stuff, like me accidentally spreading crypto-terf posts bc they're disguised as feminism, or me having some creepy teen groomer's pokemon content on my blog bc they made a funny joke.

I know your intentions are good, but shipping discourse of adult ships is, in my particular opinion, not that important. I don't even ship clones, nor do I care when I see works in which they are shipped. I'm just... detached enough to see they are fictional characters that anyone can get to play with in their own sandbox the way they see fit, and that's none of my business.

That's my stance on adult ships of - and I repeat it - fictional characters. Again, this is not a dig at you or any other person squicked/triggered by clone shipping, nor is a pro clone shipping post. In fact, I'm not pro or against anything when it comes to adult ships - i'm over 30 and way too tired to be screaming about any of this anymore as I did in my teens. Now I just wanna sit here and vibe.

Thanks for the heads-up, and for the opportunity for me to talk about this. Please understand that I mean all of this in the most polite and cordial manner, and expect the same in any further communication between us that may follow. Good night and have a great rest of week.

#fandom talk #shipping discourse #clone shipping #clonecest #long post/#anon #lychgate #clone discourse #please if any of u disagree with my stance you can just go you don't have to send a rude anon on your way out #we all get to curate our online experiences you don't have to bully me into sharing your opinions you can literally just unfollow ok #i wonder how many people will straight up skip the bit where i say i don't care abt clone shipping just to scream at me #that i'm a dirty inc*st supporter or whatever #read the thing for the love of god #anon ask

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tianshiisdead · 3 years ago

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Re: your post about cultural appropriation, I have a few things I want to ask/get your take on? Firstly, "the people who are uncomfortable shouldn’t be ignored" I understand this and agree, and at the same time I can't help but think, doesn't that kinda basically mean "Don't do it or you're an asshole" in the end? Because there will always be people uncomfortable with it, especially in the age of the internet where even private gatherings can have pictures posted publicly, etc? Secondly, even if you're invited by Chinese people (in some cases FAMILY members) to wear it in a specific situation, if others know about it and take issue, you'll still be criticized as a disrespectful colonizer (if you're from or look like you're from NA/UK, but sometimes even when you're not), and you can't even say "This was shared with me/I was invited to" because that comes off as a "My Chinese friend" kinda argument. Also in conversations I've had w mainlanders, many seem to feel like they're not allowed to have a say about their own culture in these conversations in international circles, bc many diaspora are trying to make rules about it, and shut them down w 'you don't understand bc you're not affected by racism' (which is not at ALL true, even tho its different) and even tho they dont dismiss the pain of the diaspora experience, they feel very frustrated by diaspora trying to claim authority over their culture. (Which is made worse by many diaspora not even understanding or respecting China themselves) (sidenote this is an experience that seems to be shared by MANY mainland/diaspora relationships, not just China) And I just wonder if this is possibly another instance of a very common thing online these days, where people feel they have to turn their personal feelings about something into a strict idea of morality by which they expect everyone to follow, else they be labeled racist. But just because their feelings and experiences are important and valid does not mean they are universal. So they're probably not a good basis to be making moral judgements by. Idk if I'm making any sense at this point. It's a complicated topic I've had a lot of thoughts about that I kinda wanted to share and talk about so that I can develop my understanding of it, but it's hard. I just wish we could have more civil conversations about it. I understand it's sensitive but I don't think people being hostile about it is going to help anyone, and it's very disheartening. Because shutting down conversation and arguing and harassing and gatekeeping is only creating more division. It's the very opposite of cultivating understanding and unity. And I do think the latter is the only way meaningful progress can really be made.

Hi! This is a pretty complicated issue, I'll try to answer one by one but I might ramble a little.

First, to clarify, I originally made my post because I follow a few prominent diaspora hanfu fashion blogs/channels/tiktoks and some of them have drawn pretty clear lines on what they consider acceptable VS appropriation, yet they get constant non asian people in the comments insulting them and saying things like 'well I think it's totally okay to wear hanfu whenever stop gatekeeping', and that is never okay. To go into an asian person's space where they share parts of their culture and talk over them on what they can or can't do right in that space is incredibly rude, and it's frustrating to see so many people ignoring diaspora voices or wielding 'I heard this from a mainlander' to discredit what a diaspora says. We are no less 'asian' than mainlanders. I've seen too many situations where these creators repeatedly make their stance clear but still get people complaining in their comments and such - it's always preferable to block and move on if you disagree rather than harass someone who's made it clear they don't care to have this conversation (which they are not obligated to have). In general, it costs nothing to not harass marginalized people about what you're allowed or not allowed to do regarding their culture when they've made their stance and frustrations clear.

This got pretty long (sorry) so my answer is under the read more

Disclaimer: everything I say is my opinion formed from my experiences, which doesn't invalidate any other person's feelings on appropriation of their culture. It's a complicated issue and people are allowed to have strong feelings about it. Other people might be stricter or less strict and that's okay, no one can solve the issue with a single post and no one should make themselves the single spokesperson of an issue that affects so many people. This is just my take on it.

First question! In my opinion, it's a situation where 'people's discomfort should be listened to if they voice it' not 'never do anything ever for fear of being seen by someone who would be uncomfortable'. There are obviously plenty of situations where a non Chinese person might be invited to wear hanfu, or a non Chinese person might do research and end up concluding their hanfu/cosplay/whatever is respectful and okay. I'm not here to say you shouldn't just in case someone in the world would be offended, however, you still have to be aware you're a guest partaking in someone else's culture, so if you choose to post it on social media, you should be prepared for potential criticism, keep an open mind, and not become defensive when you get it. That is to say, harassing is never okay, and if there is harassing going on I don't condone that, however a lot of the times (in my experience) it's not harassing, just valid complaints brought up in a not incredibly gentle way, and that shouldn't be discounted as bullying. Messing up (unintentionally, after doing research) doesn't make someone an asshole, but if someone decides to post and face a lot of criticism and they choose to ignore it or lash out against the people criticizing them, that does. In my personal experience, I've for example seen a lot of MDZS cosplay that are generally met with very little pushback, and there's a writer I like who's 100% white and lives in China and writes short and distinctively Chinese fiction, and he has a moderately decent audience and gets pretty much no criticism even from diaspora because he's careful to be respectful. This isn't a failsafe and I'm sure no matter what someone out there will be uncomfortable, but there are plenty of situations where non-Chinese people interact with the culture and wear the culture and get little to no pushback. I don't like the implication that the diaspora community is needlessly volatile and hostile - because from my experience most of it really isn't. And, to be completely honest although the internet and videos have made things less private, very few people end up getting enough attention (especially unintentionally) that would result in a great deal of pushback unless they're being Distinctly Offensive. I've seen quite a few douyin with foreigners in hanfu and they're just like any other hanfu video and they rarely gain that level of traction because most people aren't looking to get upset over things that don't genuinely bother them. I do think it's a situation where you have to make your own judgments, but I stand by that if for whatever reason you interact with Chinese people who make their discomfort clear, their discomfort should be taken seriously and listened to.

Second question. Um, this sounds kind of specific? This might be the case sometimes idk, I've personally never seen this happen (not to say it hasn't just that I haven't seen it), but in that case if you're wearing it in a specific (respectful) situation and you were invited (especially by family) then it's not at all a "My Chinese friend" argument I think. "My Chinese friend" is a bad argument because it's vague and tokenizing and used to talk over other Chinese people, but if you were invited to wear it then that's way more direct, so I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to establish. However, like you mention later, Chinese people are not a monolith and many don't have great connections with their culture, or see no issue with racism, or have internalized self-hatred etc. that would cause them to enable non-Chinese people in doing offensive things. I really do think this is a case-by-case basis, I can't make any sweeping judgments. Sometimes it's the Chinese family/friend who invited who is in the wrong.

Third question kind of (the part about mainlanders having a say etc.) I do think that again it's a case-by-case basis! In the conversation between a diaspora and a mainlander, respect should be given to both sides (and diaspora who don't understand as much should listen to the mainlander about things the mainlander understands better) however, in my original post, I was more referring to non-Chinese people using what mainlanders say to shut down diaspora. Again, the issue is not that mainlanders shouldn't have a say, it's that their words are used by non-Chinese to discredit diaspora voicing their concerns. I honestly haven't seen that much mainlander-diaspora communication online for obvious reasons but that would be a completely different topic. I do think that it's important to remember even mainlanders aren't monoliths or infallible, and sometimes they can discredit diaspora opinions on topics diaspora have more experience on just because they don't have the same experience. Although people in China certainly face racism and oppression in the global framework of north VS south, and many parts of China have remnants of colonization and imperialism which mean white westerner travelers and expats get better treatment than even the locals or ABC, it's also true that they don't usually face the day to day constant racism diaspora face, which is often what informs discussions on why foreigners wearing hanfu might be considered offensive.

(This part will be about diaspora talking over mainlanders, intracommunity politics, self-hatred, etc. These are my own opinions as a Chinese diaspora and it's a sensitive issue, plus people who are not members of the community please Do Not Make Judgements or try and get involved. Again, this is an intracommunity issue, not an open invitation for non-Chinese people to criticize Chinese people on their Chineseness.) The same goes in the other direction, like you mentioned, a lot of diaspora can also talk over mainlanders or claim authority when they don't have it. There's also a lot of issues with diaspora who hate and look down on themselves and their culture through no fault of their own, it's taught by the society they grow up in, but then they never unlearn that hatred and disdain, and the remnants of that will inform how they treat the people and culture even if they try and advocate themselves as a spokesperson. Obviously, I'm not a huge fan and I think it can be super harmful. It's okay to grow up and realize the culture you rejected is something beautiful, it's okay to slowly rediscover it, but one should always keep in mind that they are rediscovering it, they lack a lot of knowledge because knowing about culture is not innate, and to be open to learn and not yell too loudly about things they don't understand. Culture is so vast, no one person can claim they understand fully and should be taken as the single spokesperson. This disdain and internalized racism show up in diaspora, but also in mainlanders to some extent, because we all live in a post-colonial world with a clear racial hierarchy. That is to say, although it's not useful or reasonable to categorize mainland Han Chinese as oppressed POC, especially when they are the privileged majority within mainland, they nonetheless also face white supremacy that is woven into the culture post-colonization and imperialism (white people. are not at all oppressed. in China. :/)

I also think that in the specific situation of cultural appropriation, personal feelings kind of do matter. It's not a strictly moral thing, messing up doesn't mean moral failure and neither does getting offended or whatever, and I also don't think the discussion around cultural appropriation through wearing hanfu will ever be 'universal' because everyone has such different experiences. In a perfect world without a recent history of colonization and imperialism and western dominance, this wouldn't be nearly as big of an issue. The point is that it's not universal, you can only try your best to be respectful but understand there are limits and that if you post for a lot of people to see a lot of people will have different thoughts, and to try and listen to those thoughts the best you can. None of this is a moral issue, just one facet of a larger societal one informed by history and power dynamics, and no one person is responsible for any of it, but it's important to be educated and sensitive.

But yeah! It's definitely a complicated issue, your ask made sense don't worry lol I'm sorry I couldn't give that many definitive answers and so much of it came down to 'depends on the situation' and 'it can vary from person to person'. Like with all these sorts of issues, it can be intensely personal to people because this sort of racism Is very personal. for lack of better words. it's not a concrete thing, the reason it's harmful at all is that it can hurt people, just because of the context of racism and such, and that means it will vary from person to person. Sorry idk if that made any sense but kjlfdhg I think harassment and dogpiling and rudeness is never okay, but a clear line should be drawn between harassment and a Great Deal of People voicing their criticism. I agree that there should be civil conversations about it, but tbh... I don't think any progress will be made regarding this Because it's such a complicated issue with so many diverse voices and experiences that should be accounted for and not asked to conform, it's not at all a solidly moral issue. There's no rulebook for it! All cultures are different too, I can only speak on my thoughts on hanfu and qipao and such, however, other garments from other cultures may have different purposes or ideas behind them and that's not something for me to comment on, I can only listen and respect. I think the only way progress can be made, is for society to progress regarding racism and such built into the system, and the post-colonial state of the world. Foreigners in hanfu and appropriation stuff, this is all just manifestations of the greater systemic issues, and it can only be solved through the solving of the greater systemic issues.

Thank you for the ask! i enjoy talking about these things :3

#anon #ask #cultural appropriation #hanfu #long post #thoughts and stuff

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goraturtle · 4 years ago

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i guess something i don't get w the whole wellermen debacle (even as a nonwhite colonized person) is like. if we are denouncing all the spoils of colonialism then are we... not reading moby dick anymore? not reading pride and prejudice? glsjfsk there is a difference between having a conversation about the violent histories of these institutions and just telling people not to engage w aaaanything that even mentions them. especially without providing examples of similar media to look into that may have actually been created by colonized working people or precolonial people. like i don't get what the end goal is here

ok but also, look how most ppl have been intereacting with that sea shanty so far. has it been critical? have there been actual conversations about it? bc from what i’ve seeing, the second any criticism is launched at it people have been pouring out to try and argue and defend it (like right now with you sending this ask, though I appreciate you taking the time to type it out in a non-adversarial way like a normal person) using the “let people enjoy things” or “all colonial-based ‘culture’ is problematic why should we cancel XYZ”.

A TikTok going viral is not discussion, it is not critical, the majority of the people interacting with this tune are not drawing the obvious connections between the lyrics and slavery + colonialism, and that’s honestly pretty shitty. The violent histories are not being discussed right now, and any attempt at discussing them or at articulating how fucked up it is that this song is being spread as just a funny little sea shanty is being met w/ shouts of “cancel culture”

A sea shanty with lyrics directly tied to the transport and sale of tea, sugar, and rum will always be inextricably linked with colonialism and specifically slavery. And I understand that you’re a person of color with a history of colonization, but that specific history behind the sea shanty also disproportionately affects Black and indigenous people of color, and I would implore you to read more thoughts on the subject by people of those demographics (bc at the end of the day I’m white and I’ll do my best to explain what I think/know but my response to this ask will never be a proper substitute for the thoughts of someone who is actually affected by that history)

It’s honestly a little weird to me that you bring up Moby Dick specifically, bc while I’ve never read it (also what wackjob reads that book outside of an english literature class), I’ve had friends who had to for various classes over the years, and a MAJOR topic of discussion is the historical context behind whaling/shipwork in general. Like how can anyone get away with not analyzing Moby Dick and being critical of the time period. How. With respect to pride and prejudice though I definitely agree that there needs to be more discussion on historical context + racism of that era bc in general I feel like the work (as well as other works by Jane Austen) has been heavily romanticized (understandable, since it’s a romance novel, but still) to the point where the time period itself has been romanticized, and that’s fucked up.

I’d also like to point out that, yeah, sure, I reblogged a post telling people not to listen to the stupid sea shanty. I’m not a cop. Literally what is stopping you from just going ahead and listening to it anyway. It may not align with some people’s opinions but I do honestly feel it’s more than a little overblown for you to have this kind of reaction, focused entirely on the supposed merits of the piece of media, rather than stopping and thinking about the impact that hearing this kind of thing has on other people (even if you personally do not react to it).

You do raise a good point about how most criticisms don’t offer alternatives to the sea shanties that have been going around, though. Still, I don’t know how much of that is based off people’s tendency to romanticize white europeans at sea, specifically. But at the same time, if you enjoy sea shanties and want to learn more about how other sailing cultures approached group singing, nothing is stopping you from doing that research on your own! I don’t think it’s necessarily fair to expect ppl to hold your hand through finding alternatives when they’re only trying to bring attention to how insidious and pervasive colonial thought patterns are in today’s society, especially since the internet makes things so easy these days.

I guess what the end goal here is, is that everyone should be thinking about these sort of things. It’s impossible for something to be totally bereft in context, nothing exists inside of a box, and colonial history still has lasting affects on how we live and think today (bc it didn’t fucking happen all that long ago). Romanticization of eras (especially white european-centric eras) into aesthetics is harmful bc it uncritically spreads that kind of thinking and harms communities that have been (and currently are) directly affected by violent colonialism, genocide, and slavery (not that those things are mutually exclusive). If you can do that while still listening to the damn song, then fine, I’m not standing behind you while you’re at your computer waiting to chastise you for liking some sea diddy, but your enjoyment of that media is not contextless, and should be analyzed.

And believe me I understand the initial knee-jerk reaction to defend what you like, and I’ve struggled w/ it in the past bc a lot of online identity involves tying your interests into your personality. I’ve found that seeking out others’ opinions and just absorbing their thoughts to chew on can really help. You don’t have to reblog anything, or share it, but just read it, internalize it, feel it. I always feel more than a little silly over that initial defensive reaction once I’ve educated myself more

#asks #anonymous #anyway this is a whole lot of words before 8 am #i'll try to find more posts on this to rb for educational purposes #Anonymous

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vampireqrow-moved · 4 years ago

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hey so I agree with a lot of the stuff in your post about the transphobia involved in the origin of the pansexual label, but I just have one question: what are the actual impacts of people with good intentions calling themselves pan? If you don't hate pansexuals and consider them bi, why type up a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of the origin of the label if it means the same thing in the way that most non transphobic people (your audience) use it? a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways (like bi and lesbian and anything really) and plenty of valid identities from problematic roots and evolve over time as people use them differently (queer, transsexual). so how is a person with good intentions using a not-perfect label in a way you don't like a threat to the community? if someone is using the label pan transphobically, wouldn't their bigotry exist independently? if pan people do not act in transphobic ways besides using the label pansexual, realistically what is changing if they call themselves bi beyond holier-than-thou aesthetic activism? plus, a blog on the internet isn't going to get everyone to stop identifying as pansexual, especially considering multiple prominent celebrities ID as pan. so why spend all that energy quibbling on semantics because some bi people use a slightly different word when you could be worrying about Literally anything else? just feels like you want to find something to argue about lol. extremely disappointed that I had to break a mutual

im going to respond to each thing you bring up chronologically- im not trying to nitpick or prioritize certain things you say ill just forget things if i go out of order and i dont want to miss something important. ALSO! i will be typing less formally (like keysmashes and shortening words n stuff) in this response than my og post bc its 1am as im starting to type this so im tired but i want to be clear that i am like. taking this seriously and im not like. mocking u in anyway if it could read that way?? i hope not but just in case anyways here it goes!

in terms of actual impact people with good intentions identifying as pan: honestly im not sure the full scope of the impact this has, so ill only be speaking to what ive personally seen which might not be all. but like... id argue my younger self has good intentionals iding as pan. i wanted to support trans people, even if i didnt understand a lot of the nuance involved. as a result of this, i developed a sense of superiority over other bisexuals and a mentality that bisexuality was a primitive and lesser sexuality. that mentality is harmful, and although im not sure if it affected bisexuals around me (of which there are many most of my friends are bi ajfjfjf) its still a harmful mentality and can easily hurt people even if i specifically didnt. also using it even with good intentions, which i know many people have, still spreads and further normalizes a label that imo can not be separated from its transphobic origins. this effect is not as extreme as other forms of transphobia and biphobia by A LONG SHOT. the bi community faces a lot of other issues but that doesnt mean this one isnt worth addressing if that makes sense?

if i dont hate pansexuals: ik this is part of a larger point which i will adress but i specified this in my post bc i see a lot of other posts that are negative towards pansexuality have "i hate pan ppl" somewhere in it or a close equivalent. i do not shame these ppl for their anger, i just wanted to be clear i think a lot of pan ppl are bi ppl with good intentions choosing a label they dont fully understand based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality.

why write a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of pansexuals origin: ok 😭😭 the real reason here is that im literally just bad at summarizing. like thats literally it. i also like talking, its a bad combination. plus ive been thinking abt this for like. over a year im not even kidding and just like i have a lot of thoughts and figured if i was going to bother making my own post instead of rbing someone elses that i might as well get everything i wanted to say off my chest. ALSO BTW i literally got an ask like a week ago that was several paragraphs long asking me to explain my thoughts on why pan was harmful and some other stuff so like. this is partially responding to that and partially just me wanting to air my grievances ? idk if thats the right expression 😔😔

why write the post if my audience of people who identify as pan arent doing it in a transphobic way ? again sorry i didnt really understand the phrasing so i hope this is a vaguely correct summary!! um but like... again imo i think pan cant be separated from its transphobia and like. again imo iding as pan is like. a transphobic action/choice? obviously one transphobic thing does mean someone necessarily is like officially a Transphobe (it CAN be depending on the action but i dont think that applies here) but that doesnt mean there arent problems with what they did. this is like very complicated, but like. someone doing something harmful without the knowlege that its harmful doesnt make that person a bigot by any means it just means they didnt know. and i feel thats the case here? a lot of ppl (myself included until recently) know next to nothing abt pansexualitys origins so a trans inclusve sexuality might seem like a safe and good bet just because they dont know too much abt it, and like? i cant hate those people cause that was me for 5+ years and djgjfjdj you just dont know what you dont know!

basically i think iding with a transphobic label is inherently a singular transphobic action that doesnt make the person transphobic by itself, but is still a transphobic instance.

a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways like bi, lesbian, etc.: this is true and a point i attempted to make on my original post, but i might not have clear enough. my issue with pan is specifically that it is a transphobic response to a preexisting identity. lesbian isnt an attempted trans inclusive indentity that replaced an identity that already existed (which have many trans ppl identifying with the og label). transphobes can use whatever labels they want, but transphobes using a label vs a label having a transphobic origin is very different. bigots use inclusive and supporting language for their bigotry all the time but language that originated with that bigotry is worse.

many valid identities stem from problemstic origins (like transsexual and queer) but the words evolve: ok my paraphrasing is a little weird there. anyways. the thing here is that. those are slurs. reclaimed slurs that can be empowering to many people, yes, but slurs nonetheless. reclaiming a slur is taking a harmful word and wearing it as a badge of pride. first off, pansexual is not a slur (ur not implying that in anyway just. saying) and it isnt being reclaimed when people dont treat it as having harmful origins. transsexual is the way some people identify but ppl acknowlege its a slur and originates from transphobia. ppl love to act like queer isnt a slur, which is an issue in and of itself, but just. factually it has historically and is currently being used against ppl with the intent to hurt them. pansexual isnt on the same level as these and other words like the f slur, d slur, etc. pansexual originates from trans and biphobia WITHIN the community and not outside of it, and most pansexuals dont see themselves as reclaiming the title because they dont think anythings wrong with it in the first place. and reclaiming it just seems unnecessary considering its history? theres no empowerment from using pan as a label as opposed to queer or transsexual, and it just divides the bisexual community for no reason.

how is a person using a not-perfect label a threat to the community? ok i dont think its a threat but still an issue if that difference makes sense? id like to reiterate a few things ive said before, but for me personally, it made me look down on bisexuals and see them as lesser, and it made people around me see pan as the "trans inclusive" sexuality as opposed to bisexuality, and basically its usage just leads to further biphobia. is this the worst of biphobia? no!!! but its still biphobia and why not attempt to target and minimize that? i have no way to singlehandedly stop biphobia, but my post might get through to my friends who id as pan and that small thing is better than nothing.

if someone used the pan label in a transphobic way, wouldnt that bigotry be different from people using it not transphobically?: someone claiming all bi ppl are transphobic and only pan is the acceptable label is obviously a lot worse than someone iding as pan and saying bi/pan solidarity but again, the second isnt not an issue because the first one is a bigger issue, its just a smaller issue in comparison. i wouldnt say the bigotry is different, one is just worse than the other, but it still has the same problems.

if pan people dont do anything transphobic other than id as pan then what changes with iding as bi over pan other holier-than-thou activism: its just one less person using a transphobic label? which isnt that big but it might lead to their friends stopping iding as pan and cause fewer people around them to see bi as a transphobic identity. which is small scale stuff, i wont try to blow it out of proportion, but thats still a step in the right direction and hopefully more people follow with it. its not terribly huge or lifechanging but something small that may only affect the people close to you is still something rather than nothing.

a blog the internet isnt going to get people to stop iding as pan: oh absolutely not. honestly i expected to get unfollowed/blocked more than change peoples minds regarding the pan label (im surprised i only lost two followers so far honestly) but again, someone literally asked me to do this and i wanted to be clear on my stance on the label, since in the past ive been supportive of it. im not expecting the post to get more than five likes, its more directed to my followers rather than the internet as a whole. im not expecting a large impact, im hoping to change the minds of my followers and friends who id as and support the pan label. thats it. if something bigger comes from it- great! but thats not what im aiming to do.

prev point + many prominent celebrities id as pan: the first name that comes to mind is someone im not a fan of for separate reasons but thats irrelevant. i mean im repeating myself a bit but some celebrities in the past validated and made me feel excited abt my identity as a pan person when they came out, and it justified the label to me, even when i had doubts. i have never interacted with a celebrity and do not plan to change their minds abt their identity. again, my post was for my friends and followers and maybe who ever was scrolling through the biphobia tag and decided to read my post.

why spend that much energy worrying abt the pan label instead of something else: ive spent waaaaay more energy thinking abt a singular meme i didnt like regarding my favourite rwby character so like. maybe i just overreact to things lol. maybe i have a lot of energy and since i cant talk my friends ears off abt my favourite fruits or the different voting methods i learned in my math class or what would dreams taste like, then i gotta put my energy into something. idk. i have a lot of energy and honestly? this didnt take that much. but i felt it weighing on me as my friends talked positively abt the pan label, when i felt guilty for the superiority i felt over my bi friends INCLUDING my best friend and favourite person in the world so like. i spent enough energy worrying abt it, and like. in hindsight since its been over 12 hours since posting it, im thinking abt it less. i was more worried abt feeling dishonest with my friends than actually worrying abt pansexuality, but i figured i owed them an explanation for why my feelings around it had changed.

just feels like you want to find something to argue about: okay i DO love arguing but im not pulling this out of my ass for fun. its in response to posts ive seen on my dash, asks i recieved abt pansexuality, and my way of letting people know my views have changed and why since i know at least some people are curious.

i am sorry to lose a mutual as well, and i genuinely hope things go well for you, but uh yeah thats that.

again, if people have further questions im willing to answer them i just might take a while bc i have school and other stuff 2 do but uhhh yea sorry if im clogging ur dash sjfjfkkf

#asks #long post #anonymous #pansexuality #biphobia #transphobia #my post

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lizzibennet · 4 years ago

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1/2: Genuine question: do u have advice for USAmericans on empathy w/o condescension? ik you reblogged a post about how Americans only ever seem to care about THEIR issues/POV. But at the same time, ik you talked about your frustration with Americans acting as though other countries are the only ones with issues, or going "it must be hard to deal with X" as though we're above it. A lot of the time, I wanna be sympathetic to a friend, but I DON'T want to come off like I'm implying that I'm better

(2/2) bc i often worry that if i clarify stuff and go "oh and idk if you know, but [american thing] is...." or "oh, are you familiar with [american thing]?" that it's patronizing? i don't want to necessarily treat friends from other countries like i expect them to know less, but ofc, i don't also want to be so american-centric that i assume everyone always knows what i mean. and likewise, i want to be sympathetic if i see a friend's country in the news, but NOT come off as patronizing by asking

this is a delicate question simply bc i’m sure most of the time you don’t even realize what you’re doing or why you come off as patronizing so i’m going to try my best to explain why it comes across aas such and from there it might be easier for you to consider what u say. so the “it must be hard to deal with X” is condescending when it’s not directed at a person necessarily, it’s not an expression of empathy but an assertion about a fault that the us has too. it’s the insistence on pointing the finger at a “lesser” country for having this fault that is apparently so grave but the reluctance to accept that your country has that exact same issue that is bothersome, almost as if it’s only an issue when it’s convenient to make another culture seem worse than it is. like one that happened very recently to me was in a group of us friends in which i’m the only brazilian (really, i’m the only one of two out of like 20 who doesn’t live in the usa) they were like “yeah brazil is dealing with shit with a fascist leader” in a conversation i wasn’t online for and when i saw it later i was like. so you think your leader isn’t a fascist, huh, but mine is. to be clear- it’s not that i’m uncomfortable that he’s being referred to as a fascist, he is one, it’s that that word is never used towards trump in that group, even though my friends are WokeTM and definitely anti-trump. even then, they are reluctant to concede that their country is also a shithole in many senses that mine is, too. imagine that- a brazilian comparing their country to the us! the sacrilege! it’s that feeling i get. there was this time when we were talking about something politics related and i said something about trump and one of these friends was like “well it’s not like you can say much with bolsonaro in power” and it’s like. that’s not untrue but why bring bolsonaro in the picture? so i can’t discuss politics because my president sucks? that gives me more reason to be engaged in it, not less. why are you incapable of admitting fault in the us? and that is because even the Wokest of americans has it ingrained in their brain that the us is the greatest country in the world. so i’d suggest you monitor that reaction- when someone shit talks your country, is your first reaction to deny? to deflect? this is what i’m talking about:

so “non americans” (south americans, central americans, mexicans and canadians are still americans, so following this line of thot we can still tell you shit about america because we do, in fact, live in it but whatever) can’t tell you your country is horrible, even though it IS. why? we’re told that our country is shit, that our culture is wrong, that our beauty actually isn’t beauty, that our traditions are weird from the moment we’re born. why can’t you bear to hear that hey, your government is corrupt and horrible and your institutions treat people like shit? that’s not even specific to the us, that’s capitalism 101. why does it bother you that a “non american” points that out? because deep down you only think a “better” country could be critical, and deep down you still believe the us is the greatest country in the world. this person would never admit that they think this because they have a colonialist mindset that is, by default, racist as all hell, but that is in fact why “non americans” especifically telling them shit bothers them. they’re speaking about perceived injustice without realizing the place of privilege they’re in. this person above is like “if what the us is doing is directly affecting your country by all means speak up” as if the only countries affected by the us are the ones with troops stationed, as though that’d shut up the rest of us, showing they actually know shit about their own history and how it affects others’. i’m using this example because look at the retweets! people agree with this because they’re not aware and they live in comfortable ignorance, and it’s this ignorance you will have to go against- it will NOT be comfortable to you and you’ll wish you could be like “hey i suffer too” which isn’t the point, you know, the point is that your privilege actively hurts other people and to act like it’s an independent entity from how you interact with other people is disingenuous

to go “oh idk if you know this but” is definitely patronizing bc like a person from a “third world” country who is even minimally well informed knows, i assure you. if you would expect a local friend to know, chances are that if it’s a country-wide issue we will know, too. we probably won’t know about the particularities of your town’s mayor, but we will know about the bill that was passed that affected your state and about the protests in your city because we watch the news too, and world wide news is about fifty-fifty local news and international news (which, to you, “international” news would just be your local news). “are you familiar with x” is fine to ask imo but one thing that is also bothersome is the assumption that someone who lives in the same continent as you has such a different life that we won’t know idk like how a private post office works or something. even countries that are VERY dissimilar culture-wise are more similar than people think and, say, a south american country and the us are really not as dissimilar as us people seem to think. like recently i saw a youtuber comment on this case of a child singer who was very sexualized, and he was like “idk if that’s common in brazil but that’s not okay” and it’s like. WHAT do you think is common in brazil??? pedophilia?????? children shaking their ass isn’t okay anywhere, why the fuck would you assume culturally we’re so far away from you, of COURSE it is more common than it should be but do you really think there aren’t kids twerking in your country, do you genuinely think people here are inherently more sexual than people there just because, i- UGH headache emoji. that’s not to say each hasn’t its particularities but i guess what i’m trying to say is that the exotification of an entire country is bothersome. if you act like i, a privileged middle class white girl from brazil am a savage and ignorant and uncultured just because i don’t live in the us, even though my life in many aspects is quite similar to yours, then it PAINS me to think of what you’d think of even more different people, like my gran who was born in the middle of the amazon- if you think ill of me (even if unconsciously) then what will you think of her and her people, you know? even without much context my friends from the us get what i say when i speak about things that differ in our lives as middle class 20 year olds from different countries, because again it’s not so dissimilar, and if they don’t get it, they ask. from the get go i assume that they’re intelligent enough to fill in the blanks, so i don’t like being assumed less than capable of following a conversation just because i don’t have every minute detail, and in general, i feel like the entire population of my country is often assumed less than capable. when we encounter someone from outside who hasn’t a lot of context of how things go here, that is simply it - they’re a person without countext and we will help them understand it - but when it’s us who lack the context there is a clear implication that we do because we’re stupid and we should learn on the spot because we should know already anyway. you’re not being too american centric when you assume your friends are at least partially well informed, you’re being realistic tbh lol to assume we’re any less is to assume we’re less intelligent than you. expecting people to know is bad but assuming people won’t know worldwide huge topics that any person with an internet connection would is also not great

genuinely i think if you see a friend’s country in the news and want to ask if they’re okay and their opinion on it i don’t see any occasion in which you’d be condescending unless you tried really hard to be LOL like i think your friends will generally just be happy you thought of them. checking up on them is actually the kind of behavior we don’t expect from a self-centered usa person so i just think they will appreciate your concern. just don’t be like “oh sweet summer child cinnamon pie baby angle :-( poor u on a shithole country,,,,,,,” nor “wow must be hard dealing with [basic problem every other country also goes thru, including urs]. pooooooor thing who doesn’t have access to civilization :-((((((((((((((”

i’m sorry i’m so snarky in this sometimes but it’s because it couldn’t be more simple: if you think of the issue and consider it in a worldwide context, don’t speak about it as though your experience is law, don’t forget that other countries have other political contexts, and yet, don’t forget that normal people just like you live in those settings. literally just remember there’s seven billion people on this planet and b like oh shit, am i being ethnocentric rn,,,, it should be pretty clear tbh it’s not rocket science.

#Anonymous #what is my ask tag again

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bitsandbobsandstuff · 5 years ago

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(1/2) lol Seb's IG post, he snapped and I love it. 😂 we know he was unhappy with how things were written and handled at the end of Endgame because, y'know, there really could have at least been a scene of Steve and Bucky talking and catching up before Steve basically went "ok bye!" and fucked off into the past (I say this not in a hateful way at all bc I love Steve still even after Endgame and don't hate his ending, I'm just shit with words lmao). but that post also, to me, meant that he's

Everyone deserves to snap now and then, I’ve had those weeks at work too. 😂

So I guess here’s the thing. This entire experience is a great example of why comments on the internet should be taken with a grain of salt – because everyone here seems to have a different opinion as to what a celebrity on the internet meant when he screenshot a Twitter post and added his own emoji.

Personally? I don’t think he was calling anyone out or shading his fans or anything like that – I don’t believe it’s that complicated.

SS was never shy about saying Steve and Bucky lacked a proper goodbye. Endgame was particularly inconsistent on their relationship, considering Steve spent literally all three of his movies focused on Bucky Barnes and the only payoff in Endgame was the most uncomfortable goodbye hug ever filmed.

If I had to guess? That was a passive aggressive, non-verbal commentary on the lack of closure Endgame gave Steve and Bucky, because they deserved better.

Maybe in TFAWS they’ll give us a flashback to their conversation, and this entire thing will make sense. Maybe there was a plan all along. Maybe Bucky really was okay with everything and maybe Steve wasn’t as constipated as he looked in that scene.

My expectations are low, but here’s to hoping. 🤷‍♀‍

I’ve never seen anyone using Bucky being fragile as a proof point for why Steve should have stayed, but I agree with you that Bucky IS his own person and owns his own destiny. I hope TFAWS allows both Bucky and Sam to be real characters with real personalities – because you’re right, we know how badass they are and we deserve to see them shine!

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kiisaes · 3 years ago

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i feel like expanding on this so i will. when i say "bkdk's relationship is queer as fuck" i don't just mean "bkdk are gay for each other". i mean "bkdk, as individuals and as a dynamic, represent the queer asian experience through their own arcs, characterizations, and interactions with each other". "bkdk are gay for each other" is sort of an afterthought in this regard

(beware, there's a LOT of rambling about west vs asia regarding queer narratives, but i swear i'll get to bkdk eventually in this post ... please read everything before the bkdk part though — it's important!)

(THIS IS REALLY LONG. SO UH. BEWARE X2.)

i've noticed through my time on the internet that western and asian depictions of lgbt stories have inherently different structures. i can barely find myself relating to a gay story written by a white woman, but a gay story written by an asian woman resonates so much more with me. is it just bc i'm also asian? well yes, in a way — a lot of the times a japanese bl manga isn't just a bl manga. it's a japanese bl manga. it includes aspects of japanese experiences that can be also understood by asian cultures around it. asia is not a monolith but it is also, collectively, different from the west.

a big difference between western and asian existences is how they treat the self. western cultures love to prioritize the self. this also bleeds into smaller subsections of culture, like the lgbt community, where the self's fulfillment is more important than the collective's fulfillment. for example, a white queer person born and raised in the USA would likely think, "i'm gay and that's MY existence! whether or not you agree with it or not is your thing, but it doesn't change who i am, and ultimately, my confidence in myself takes precidence over how you feel about me." obviously i'm not gonna say that every white queer person will be comfortable in their own skin (that's factually incorrect, as painful as that is), but it's basically known fact that in the west, YOU and your identity come first. EVERYONE ELSE comes secondary.

this is not as common in asian cultures, and it's actually more than often the opposite. asian cultures like my own are very focused on the collective, the community. as a chinese american person, i've had the absolute pleasure of experiencing both mindsets!!! yyyaaaayyyyyyyy

for asian cultures, your experiences and existence is not just YOU, it's you AND the people around you. you inherently belong in a community and your identity is not just your own to bear. you almost have to share it; if with anyone, it'll most likely be with your parents. i'll explain more about this in a sec

it's not that asian experiences are automatically worse than western experiences, because that's literally not true, but it creates an entirely different queer narrative. a lot of western gay stories are about self-fulfillment, about coming to terms with yourself and finding a happy ending with your significant other. doubts within you are mostly gone, and you can live your life as a new person, no longer shackled by your own self-doubt and worry.

it's .. not really like that for asian gay stories. remember the parent point from earlier? yea i'm coming back to that. many asians feel like they're forever affected by their parents and whatever influences they may have. it's not to say that all asian parents are abusive or overbearing, but rather that many asian parents treat kids less as their own identities, but rather extensions of themselves. the parents are the ones who raise the kids, and so a lot of the times, they will feel like how their child turns out is reflective of themselves. "how did i raise a child like you?" and "where did we go wrong?" are phrases i heard a lot growing up, all from my parents. notice the emphasis on their own faults rather than my own; yes i'm the "problem", but who caused the problem? they did.

why were these phrases said? because i'm different — not normal, not perfect, not what they expected. so you can probably now imagine how difficult it would be for a queer asian kid to come out to their parents, when their parents see their kid as a literal reflection of their parenting. now slap that on top of asia's generally lower understanding and acceptance of queer identities compared to the likes of, say, the USA, and uhhhhhhhhhhh yeah.

it's why white gay stories about two boys meeting and falling in love and having troubles along the way, yes, but ultimately prevailing in the end with love and beauty and victory and everything good ... isn't that relatable to us. because a lot of us can't see ourselves in their shoes; we can't see ourselves running into the light with our lovers, we can't see ourselves disregarding everyone who denounces us, we can't see ourselves grandiosely flipping off a homophobe while we wear shades and the CSI miami's "YEEEAAAAAAA" sound effect plays in the background. this isn't a universal experience, in fact it's so detached from us that even if we were to imagine a perfect world, it'd still be unrealistic.

when i think of white gay stories, i think of "simon vs the homosapien agenda". perfectly fine book, i liked it when i read it, but i was not at all relating to simon and his quest for acceptance. in the end, he's happy and content with his boyfriend and his parents are supportive of him and life is good. not even in my deepest fantasies can i see this ever happening to me. i recognize that the most i'm ever going to get is a reluctant, quiet acceptance that i'm not how i was supposed to turn out. they wouldn't accompany me to a pride parade wearing rainbow clothes, they wouldn't go to rallies holding signs that say "my child is queer and i love them for it", and they certainly wouldn't make the effort to address me by preferred pronouns/gendered terms and correct others if they mess up. all they'd do is silently acknowledge that i'm queer and that there's nothing they can do to change me. and the sad thing is, if that's all my parents will give me, i will still gladly, tearfully, take it. we should strive for universal acceptance always, but sometimes you realize that you won't get that in your life, and you cut your losses.

a handy amount of bl mangas actually do touch a bit on this, albeit in a very subtle, nuanced, "you get it if you've lived it" way. inability to accept that you are gay is quite common. hating yourself for being different is quite common. not really quite knowing how to label yourself, because you either 1.) never had the proper vocabulary to express yourself or 2.) couldn't quite connect to any cut-and-dry definition of gender/sexuality terms is quite common. ultimately, the queer asian experience is one of suppression, confusion, an aching for understanding and an anticlimactic ending. why do you think one of "doukyuusei"'s protags refused to properly accept the other's feelings? why did it take them so long to fully, almost warily, come to the conclusion that this is who they were, and there was nothing they could do to change that? why do so many bl stories, even the shallower ones, hold an undercurrent of agony and something bittersweet?

obviously not every asian queer experience is going to be like how i described it. everyone is different, and it's not my intention to bunch together people who, ultimately, lead very separate lives. maybe you're a queer asian person who can't relate to what i said AT ALL, and if that's you, hey, KUDOS. god i wish i were you. i'm also aware that other poc cultures can probably relate to this as well. however, i'm speaking from an asian perspective because it's the one i'm most familiar with. i've taken a lot of my own experience as a queer asian person into account, as well as takes from many asian friends growing up. i've also taken note of how asian people dissect gay stories online, and was surprised to see so much overlap with my own. with the way our cultures' building blocks are different from western ones, it's only understandable how trickled-down aspects of our lives are also majorly affected by this big collectivist mindset.

i also wanna say, before i continue, that i'm not implying that western gay stories are bad. absolutely not! there's some great ones out there, handled with care and understanding that western audiences will certainly relate to. it's not like you have to relate to a story to like it, or for it to be good. "heartstopper" came out on netflix recently and everyone's raving about it, so it must be doing something right. but the reality for a lot of queer asian people, who grew up in families where selves aren't just individualistic, is that these stories aren't meant for us. down to our very bare bones, to be queer is to be hard on yourself, uniquely different (and not always in a good way), and desperate for any sort of closure. any closure will do.

... WHICH LEADS ME TO BKDK LMFAO SORRY FOR MAKING Y'ALL WAIT SO LONG.

hopefully you read all that up there ^^^ and didn't just skip all of it to get here. i will be referencing the previous paragraphs when i analyze bkdk and their queerness.

when i say that bkdk's relationship is queer, it's not directly referring to them. bkdk could be straight for all we know, but it doesn't make their relationship narrative any less not-straight symbolically. so what do i mean by "bkdk's relationship is queer as fuck?"

both bakugou and deku's character arcs hold something very oddly close to (asian) queer narratives, despite neither of their sexualities being confirmed. bakugou's arc centers around his confusing and awkward relation with deku, who is someone he could not fully understand and rejected due to that inability. deku's arc centers around ... well, being the greatest hero, but other than that, a desire to save anyone, even those who denounce him. aka bakugou, shigaraki, and the civilians who didn't want deku back in UA during that whole vigilante thing yea remember that? that was like half a year ago already jesus christ

to put it bluntly, bakugou's arc deals with the self-hatred part of asian queerness, and deku's arc deals with the part of asian queerness connecting to our clumsy, near-impossible fantasies of being understood and wanted.

let's tackle bakugou first. his relationship with deku is always an important aspect of his character. from the start, we're aware that he doesn't like deku, but his feelings run deeper and more complex than just simple distain. for the longest time, he can't understand deku's motives, his personality, or even why he wants to be a hero so badly. even after he understands, he doesn't want to accept it. he channels this anger and frustration into hatred. instead of looking inward and coming to terms with himself (that he cares about deku and deku's mere existence is important to him), he lashes out and chooses to deny. he tries fruitlessly to put a barrier between himself and deku, opting for fighting deku instead of working beside him, and if he has to team up with him, bakugou will be the most uncooperative little shithead in the world. it's only after he hits a breaking point (deku vs kacchan part 2) when he starts to open up to himself (and deku), pitifully realizing that he and deku are in it together. from this point onward, he's more cooperative and learns to adapt, because the truth has settled in for him and he doesn't want to fight it anymore. maybe he's too tired to keep fighting it. THIS IS QUEERNESS 101.

in this case, bakugou can be replaced with asian queer person and deku can be replaced by queer identity. asian person doesn't like their queer identity, so they fight and deny it. they continue to deny it and even grow to hate themselves for it, instead of easily concluding that they are who they are. eventually though, the asian person realizes that they are queer and accepts it, but it's not all epiphany, sunshine and rainbows, everything-makes-sense-now. it's a heavy sigh, a tired agreement, a "fine, let's exist together." they understand that there are bigger stakes at play, but maybe someday, the asian queer person will grow to love their identity. it won't be easy, but it can be done.

now let's move on to deku. deku's whole thing is that he's the "save to win" part of bkdk's "win to save, save to win" duo. he wants to save everyone. it's what a true hero should do, and deku exhibits true empathy that not even the likes of all might possess. even when he doesn't have the power to back him up, he attempts his best and doesn't give up. obviously the earliest example of this is when he tries helping young bakugou out of the ravine water; he's a quirkless kid wanting to save someone who is privileged and with a quirk. aka, someone who doesn't need help at all. but deku still tries. and especially regarding bakugou, he's content with the the bottom of the barrel; he's so used to bakugou being mean to him, shoving him away and treating him like shit, that he'd accept anything remotely neutral, even. it doesn't have to be anything strictly positive. bakugou could sneeze at him and he'd take it as a compliment. in fact, this is kind of how deku is in general; he's used to being quirkless, so he's used to people disliking him. it doesn't really matter, because he intends on helping them anyway.

deku's is kind of a mismatch: his desire to help even those who hate him is how a lot of asian queer people still love their families and loved ones. for many of us, our main "oppressors" are our families; they're the ones who psychologically prevent us from being unapologetically us. but many of us can't bring ourselves to fully hate them, because there's still so much about them that we love. again, belonging in a collective society, we're expected to respect our elders and take care of our families when they grow old. it ties into our self-hatred — if only we were born normal, we wouldn't have to worry about our parents potentially hating us. we want them to love us for as long as we're with them, which for a good amount of us, is a very long time. my parents certainly don't like that the thought of me being not cishet, a vital aspect of my identity, but i choose to stay in contact with them anyway.

which leads to my next part: deku's willingness to accept literally anything from bakugou (and probably shigaraki too, if horikoshi decides to go the rehabilitation path) is representative of how queer asians will take any sort of acceptance. it doesn't have to be a grand show of affection, support or understanding. it doesn't have to be big sob fests and warm embraces from parents who get it now. sometimes a "so you're gay, then", tense, pursed lips, and furrowed brows are enough. at least it's something. at least you can sleep at night knowing that you tried, and they tried, and now you're both on a mutual, awkward no-man's land of understanding. deku reacting to anything better than a harmful insult with a bright smile is literally how this feels.

(also, DUH, deku being quirkless at birth, therefore being not favored by the rest of society, is such an easy queer connection. but that felt like low-hanging fruit so whatever i didn't make it the focus of this analysis lol.)

never mind the fact that, when these two queer metaphors interact, they're combining into a big queer combo. why do bkdk always do things the hard way? why does nothing come easy for them, and that they have to fight and claw to reach any kind of realization? why is their inherent relationship so damn messy, full of problems and misconceptions? nothing about bkdk's relationship is obvious and easily digestible, the way many western gay romances are. bkdk are full of emotions that are foreign even to themselves, let alone other people. that's a big factor of asian queerness: being unable to really understand yourself and know what you want. "what is happening to me?". "why am i feeling this way?". they're scary concepts, so instead they stay in your head, unanswered and undiscovered. (i feel like this is how a fair amount of older queer asians deal with their queerness — they just don't.)

again, this is entirely separate from the idea that bakugou and deku, as individuals, are queer. they could be, they could not be. but as a queer asian, i find myself drawn to this messiness, the art of not knowing and comprehending what the hell is wrong with you. and while obviously not every part of bakugou and deku can be attributed to asian queer experience, the bigger picture allows for us queer people to analyze.

(i also have a theory that this might be why bkdk is more popular in asian fandoms as opposed to western fandoms. bkdks is the number one mha ship in asia and i think it has been that way for a while now, whereas bkdk is only starting to get its universal approval here in the west. perhaps it's bc bkdk as an entity simply speaks better to asian audiences...???)

but hey, that's just a theory, a QUEER THEORY! thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed my insane rantings

bakudeku's relationship, even platonically, down to its bare essentials, is queer as fuck from an asian perspective. speaking as an asian queer person, in this essay i wi

#to the one person in my notes who wanted me to elaborate ... this one's for u #i hope this makes sense ????? i'm really not good at wording things and explaining myself #idk. i wrote this for 3 hours straight. i don't think i'm capable of Thought anymore #and AGAIN this is not meant to speak for all queer asian people !!! this is just what i've noticed through my experiences online and irl #bakudeku #bkdk #long post #analysis #becki rambles about stuff

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