#I don't like angst either anon so let's just have the four of them in a polycule

[urgonnaneedabiggership]

Could you make a fic where Miguel gets the female reader pregnant and they're happy but he's worried about her safety? Maybe have a villain find out? Cause some angst?

Risk Something (You're Losing Me)

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara (Spiderman: Across The Spiderverse) x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Language. Spoilers (Miguel's backstory is mentioned). Angst! Alert!, Unplanned pregnancy!Alert.

Word count: 4.3K

A/N: Since I had already established some background and emotional intimacy, I thought I could write this as a sort-of-sequel to my previous one-shot Host of a Ghost. I was so excited to write this, especially because I don't usually write angst but I like to push my boundaries and leave my confort zone. Hope that it pays off and, of course dear anon, that you like it <3

Part III

You’d never really believed in long-distance relationships. After being witness to so many unsuccessful ones, you’d cataloged the entire concept into a box labeled “certain failure” and tucked it away in the back of your head. And yet, with an inconsistency worthy of your friend Hobie, you’d gone and gotten yourself involved in no less than an interdimensional relationship.

How? Well, that was a good question.

All it took was five simple steps:

Step one: Live a regular life. Go to school, graduate, and try to go for a Ph.D. that gets you working near genetically modified insects for just the right amount of time for you to become careless enough to let one crawl onto your backpack, take it to your apartment, and let it sting you. Throw in some negligence, forfeit going to the hospital, and go on about your afternoon. Warning, some side effects like loss of consciousness or intense headaches can be expected.

Step two: Congratulations! You’ve now become a super-powered person with abilities that range from climbing walls and performing gravity-challenging parkour to creating a sticky web-like element that helped you swing from one building to another. Toy around with your new talents, and grow comfortable with them before realizing that you can actually use them to be the much-needed help your city needs.

Step three: Turns out you’re not the only one with this kind of ability out there. There’s a whole Spider-Society full of similarly enhanced people who try and do their best to keep their own dimensions safe, and you’ve not only caught their eye but have actually been invited to join them. Let your new guide Jess Drews show you around, and explain all the benefits that come from joining a team such as theirs. If you decline, you can go back home and that’ll be all.

If you’re interested, it’ll be necessary to convince the leader but they could use some extra help so it shouldn’t be particularly hard. It sounds like an amazing chance. Information you wouldn’t have access to otherwise, mind-blowing facilities where you can polish your newly acquired abilities, possible new friends that actually know what you’re going through…Say you’ll think about it. Right as you’re about to leave, the most fucking gorgeous man you’ve ever seen in your entire life walks past without paying either of you any mind, busy while speaking to another Spider-Person. You ask who that is, turns out he’s the aforementioned leader, “will I ever have to work with him?”, you ask. “Probably, eventually” Replies Jess. Ask when you can start.

Step four: Do your best to earn your place in this elite group. Successfully improve your fighting skills, read everything available on interdimensional traveling and the multiverse. Understand it almost instantly because that’s how smart you are, kudos to you. Realize that for some reason, despite never actually interacting with you, Spider-Society leader Miguel O’Hara tends to stare. A lot. Is it because you’re progressing as fast as Jessica says or because she’s a complete liar and you’re actually doing it all wrong? No idea. All you know is that even during mundane scenarios like laughing in the hall with all the newest additions to the team or in line at the cafeteria, you feel a certain tingle in the back of your head that makes you turn around. Of course, the moment your eyes meet, he turns around and leaves. An odd one, yes. But you’ve also heard things. Rumors, here and there about his life before creating the Society. Whispers about a lost family and some video archives being the only evidence that they even existed in the first place. And, of course, the fault he had in the destruction of their dimension. You sympathize with him, despite his apathetic attitude towards you. You’ve seen him interact with those he’s closer to, and you know there’s more to him than he lets on. You’d be elated if he ever let you take just one look at the smidge of his old self that sometimes peeked out from behind the iron curtain. Well, not really. One look wouldn’t be enough. If anything, it would only cement your feelings for the man.

Step five: Curiosity killed the cat. We all know that. You know that. And yet, you decided to go snooping around Miguel O’Hara’s computer and personal files until you accidentally switch his computer on for long enough to let the videos he’s always watching start playing. He…his daughter…an entire lost life gone before his eyes. Then, before you could do the right thing and turn the computer off, an eerily familiar voice called at him from behind the camera. So, of course, you had to keep watching. Long story short? All those oddly constant stares, that coldness towards you, unwillingness to look you in the eye, was because of two reasons: first, you were a nearly identical interdimensional variant of the wife he’d lost in the dimension he unwittingly erased from existence. Two, as he’d confessed after realizing you’d found out about the truth, Miguel had come to terms with the fact that he was in love with you, not as a replacement for somebody from his past but as a new presence in his life that he’d been struggling to watch from afar, unwilling to let all his repressed feelings spill out like water from a broken dam. Until that night, of course.

Now, eight months later, you’d come to realize there was actually a sixth step you’d never actually considered until now that you were in this…situationship.

Step six: Uncomfortably avoid every and all circumstances in which interdimensional disparities and canon consistency regarding your relationship could come up. Don’t say anything like “Well, it’s been nice but I’ve got to go back to my own dimension” because that would remind him that his dimension was not yours too. That you were after all still a stranger in a strange land. Which of course also meant never inviting him to stay in your dimension.

Deep inside, you knew that all those details would eventually cause problems, especially regarding the inner conflict Miguel was always dealing with knowing what he was doing…what you were both doing, went against his strongest principle. But by God he was happy. Happier than he’d thought he could ever feel again. More than he deserved. So he just ignored those intrusive thoughts and focused on whatever task was at hand. And you were too. Even after just eight months, life without him already seemed unimaginable. He was your first thought in the morning and your last before you went to sleep, and more than once his presence beside you had been not just a figment of your imagination, but a part of your reality as you felt his strong arms wrap around your waist and pull you closer whenever you strayed too far from him in bed as he groggily whispered, “¿Y a dónde crees que vas, preciosa?”, Or when he buried his nose in the crook of your neck, lining it up with soft kisses that sometimes ended up in both of you being late for your assigned tasks. With so much on the line, you were more than happy to avoid those spiky subjects. It seemed like such a small price to pay with all you were getting in return.  

You weren’t sure of where all this was going, but none of that mattered. Right now, you were together. Inside the Spider-Society you were a great team and each one was a valuable asset. Outside, every second spent in your arms was enough to make him forget Spider-Man. To you, he was Miguel and nothing more. And that was all you needed.

Life was good. You were happy with the way things were. Until, as it usually happens, a necessary disruption came quite literally crashing into your life in the shape of a fifteen-year-old that carelessly swung around a corner and crashed into you after you’d been chasing him like the rest of the Spider-People after receiving Miguel’s message.

“Miles?” You asked, recalling his name, which you’d actually been hearing for quite some time since the circumstances of his existence started being a problem for your boyfriend. The boy didn’t answer. He just looked at you, his eyes filled with confusion and fear until you hesitantly took a step aside to leave the escape route open for him. If anything he looked even more baffled, but when the noise of his pursuers reached your ears he rushed down the hall and you lost him after he took a sharp turn.

Before you could be spotted, you ran in the opposite direction and hid around a corner as you tried to call Miguel on your watch. Of course, it was in vain. Well, Plan B. Fortunately, this time you did get a reply.

“(Y/N)?”

“Peter! Yes, it’s me! Where are you?”

“Where do you think? I’m going after him like everybody else. I need to get to him before…sweetie, please just get back in there, Daddy’s on the phone right now…I need to get to him before- “

“He’s already left the headquarters,” You informed him.

“Wait, you saw him?”

“About a minute ago. He was on his way to the North exit.”

“(Y/N), are you sure you should be a part of this chase right now?”

“Why not? Jessica is there, isn’t she?” You replied, smiling to yourself. Good old Peter B., looking out for you like some sort of self-appointed brother figure.

“Well yeah, but she’s not running, kid. Although I don’t think she should be on one of those death machines either, I don’t what she’s…”

While he kept on rambling for a bit, you looked around and wondered if you’d ever seen the building this empty.

Empty.

Your eyes slowly ran along the pearly white walls until they landed on the hallway that led to the room where the Go Home Machine was kept. Practically unchecked, if Spider-Byte had joined the pursuit.

“P.B., I’ll talk to you later,” You absent-mindedly replied, hanging up on him without waiting for an answer as you dashed down the hallway.

You kept thinking about that poor kid’s eyes. After having all that information unloaded onto him, instead being given enough time to somewhat process everything he now had to escape from the very people he was supposed to feel safe amongst. When he sat on the floor right in front of you right after the crash, he was sure you would immediately hand him over. Maybe a few months ago you would’ve done it without hesitation but now…things had changed.

There it was. The Go-Home Machine. You thought you saw a purple blast inside that let you know Byte was still there. However, if your theory was correct, Miles would have to go through that hall and therefore, you. A few minutes later, a sudden voice booming from your watch startled you.

“(Y/N)!”

“Miguel? Where are you? I’ve been trying to…”

“(Y/N), listen to me! Miles lured everybody out on purpose, he’s trying to get to the machine. I can see your location back at the headquarters and he should be coming your way in less than a minute!”

“Alright. I’ll handle it.” You replied, ending the call before he could ask you to elaborate on that.

Sure enough, light footsteps came in your direction shortly after. Right as Miles entered your field of view, an alert issued by your watch made your stomach drop and a dreadful feeling fill your chest. However, you’d made up your mind. There was no going back now.

Mile spotted you at the end of the hall and stopped in his tracks. His eyes were determined, not as afraid as a few moments earlier. If he was there that meant he’d somehow gotten past Miguel. You fought back a smile when you wondered how pissed he’d be about it. Having his ass kicked by a teenager was something that, maybe under different circumstances, you could tease him about.

“He’s a delight, isn’t he?” You finally spoke, trying to somewhat lighten the mood while taking a step toward the kid. However, he got in a defensive stance, furrowing his eyebrows in distrust.

“It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you, I just want to talk.” You assured, showing him both your hands, “Miles, listen very carefully. This is exactly what Miguel was talking about a while ago. At this very moment. Right now, I’m supposed to stop you from getting to that machine and handing you over,”

Of course, he took another step back.

“Miles I’m not going to do that,” You assured him.

“Why not?” He immediately asked, constantly looking behind him, wondering if this was just you trying to stall him like, unbeknownst to you, he thought Peter had tried to do a while ago.

“Because I’m sure there’s a better way to go about all this. I love him so much, I do, but he’s so afraid that I don’t think he’s willing to see other possibilities and by the time he does, it might be too late for you. Now go before anybody else gets here.”

You didn’t have to tell him twice. Miles darted past you as soon as you finished talking, taking a second to look back before reaching the dimly lit room where his ticket home was. His eyes scanned your face and darted down for one second before he looked up at you, a new worry in his eyes that had you wondering whether his spider-sense was strong enough to perceive something you’d just found out yourself.  

“Are you going to be okay?” Miles asked, his eyes looking down for a moment once again. Did he know? Did he mean “you” as in just you or as in…?

“Yes, don’t worry. Now get out of here.” You insisted. With one last hasty “thanks”, he ran into the room as your left in the opposite direction. You weren’t worried about Spider-Byte. She was a good kid, and she’d do the right thing.

The right thing. What did that even mean anymore?

You’d deal with the moral implications later. For now, as you found yourself on the other side of the headquarters, your mind was set on finding Miguel. Maybe you could try and talk some sense into him, make him reconsider whether this was…

“What the hell was that?”

By now you’d gotten used to Miguel’s habit of sneaking up on you. Usually, hearing his voice coming out of nowhere brought a smile to your face. This time, you closed your eyes and winced as you felt his presence behind you.

“Don’t even try lying. I know that voice you used in the call. The one for when you’re about to ignore whatever order I’m about to give you, so I checked the cameras.”

“Miguel, I…” You began to explain yourself just to be harshly cut off.

“(Y/N), what were you thinking? Do you realize what you just did? Do you have the slightest idea of the consequences…?”

“I do realize that you just asked a fifteen-year-old child to stand by and let his father get killed right before calling his existence a mistake, Miguel. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking of our safety, and that includes Miles’. You’re right, he’s a kid and that means he’s selfish and immature enough to endanger everything we’ve all been risking our lives to protect for years.”

“Miguel, listen to me,” You insisted, “You’re scared. I know. I am, too, but have you ever considered that maybe there’s another solution? Do we even know for sure that allowing the kid to go and try to save his father is going to cause any real damage?”

“What if it does? Are you just going to tell me “Sorry, Miguel, you were right” and that’s all? (Y/N), Dios mío, piensa. Gwen said the same thing but we couldn’t trust her with being objective because he’s her friend,”

“Wait, what do you mean couldn’t?” You asked. Miguel clenched his jaw and turned away, unable or unwilling to look at you.

“Miguel, please tell me you didn’t send her back. Not with how she left things back there,”

His absolute silence told you everything. Shaken, you took a step back.

“What is wrong with you?” You hissed the disappointed look in your eyes hurting like a sharp dagger to his chest.

“(Y/N), mi amor, I’m just trying to…”

“You’re such a hypocrite,” You angrily spat out, “You go around preaching about how important sticking to your stupid canon is and the delicate balance of the multiverse when you know damn well that what we’re doing goes against every single one of those things,”

“No, no, that’s very different,” Miguel disputed,

“How is it different?” You argued back, boldly moving closer to him wishing you were taller so you could face him, “I’m from another dimension, there is no way that we were supposed to meet from the beginning. You had your world, this world, and when you tried to live another life in a different one, an entire dimension was destroyed. I had my world, and for all I know maybe there was somebody there that I was supposed to meet but thankfully I ended up here first so I could meet you. But you know what? My universe is fine, yours is too and I swear I had never been happier in my entire life.”

“You’re right.” He muttered in deep thought.

“Yes, I am. And maybe…” You started to say, a relieved smile tugging at the edges of your mouth until he looked up and the expression in his eyes made your throat dry up.

“We’ve been messing with fire all this time. There is probably somebody you can be with without endangering your entire dimension. And this…this is the hand I was dealt and I should just accept it and live with it. You’re right. Maybe this was all a mistake from the beginning.”

“No. No, come on, you don’t mean that.” You shook your head in denial, lifting both your hands to cup his face in your hands, to bring him close like he had done the night you finally could let all the love you felt for him escape its confinement in your chest.

Miguel grabbed your hands before you could touch him and moved away from you before releasing them as he finally built up the courage to look you in the eye.

“Are you serious?” You asked, your voice quivering with anger as you felt tears begin to dwell in your eyes, “So that’s it? You’d rather sacrifice us than find a different way to solve this?”

“Well, what did you think was going to happen, (Y/N)? That this would go on forever and we’d keep pretending everything is fine and that you don’t have to wear a fucking machine on your wrist every time you come to see me because even the cells in your body know you were never supposed to be here?”  

“Oh, right, so you expect me to believe that you always knew this was going to be temporary? Then what was this? Something to take the edge off after a rough day until you decided it was time to stop fooling around and just be done with it?”

Deep inside, you knew what his response was going to be, but every inch of your heart silently pleaded for you to be wrong. To pull you into his arms and apologize for trying to send you away and promise that you’d get through this because you loved each other and that was all that mattered.

“I don’t know why you thought it was anything else,”

For a minute, you wondered if this was all actually happening. Maybe this was all a nightmare fueled by all the training simulations you’d gone over lately, and you’d wake up crying just to find Miguel asleep next to you, his wide back slowly rising and sinking with every calm breath he took. Your crying would wake him up and he’d furrow his eyebrows and ask what had happened.

“I had a nightmare, that’s all,” You’d say, wiping your tears off and trying to downplay it. But he knew better. He always knew better. He would pull you close and bury your head in his chest, placing a kiss on top of your head while warning you that he was the only one allowed to have nightmares because otherwise he’d have to start comforting you too and neither would get a full night of rest. And you would laugh softly as you drifted off, lulled by the warmth of his chest and his smell of sage lotion and cheap fabric softener.

But no. You were very much awake, and instead of comforting you with promises and reassurances, he was walking away from you after delivering the final blow to your heart.

Since he had his back turned to you, you felt free to let the repressed tears freely fall down your face as you helplessly watch him go until he disappeared around a corner. All of a sudden, you felt as if the walls of the headquarters had begun to close around you to asphyxiate you, and the sound of the returning Spider-People made you realize you didn’t want to be there for one more second.

Thanks to your watch, you were back “home” in a few seconds.

“Home”. Your empty apartment where you’d lived alone for years. Where he’d never set foot, and at least in that way it was free of his memory. Or so you thought until you looked over your shoulder at the ajar bathroom door. Inside, atop the porcelain sink, still rested the positive pregnancy test you’d left there before having to rush over to the headquarters to help with the latest anomaly.

That memory felt so distant now. As if it had happened years ago, in a different life. You suppose in a way, it did belong to another life. A life that was over now.

Numbly, you made your way toward the ragged sofa, collapsing on top of it as soon as you were close enough. It was only then that the full weight of the last day and a half sank in and, as you gently wrapped your arms around your stomach, you let the tears fall until your throat burned, the dusty cushions muffling your broken sobs.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard correctly, you did what?”

The seriousness of the situation was enough for Peter to fasten a small strap in Mayday’s baby carrier to make sure she won’t go anywhere for a few minutes as he waited for his friend’s platform to reach ground level. He couldn’t be chasing his toddler around and ripping Miguel a new one at the same time.

“I did what I had to do. It’s for her own good,”

“Right, because you’re such an arrogant…” He paused to carefully place his hands over Mayday’s tiny ears, “…such an arrogant dick that you think you know what’s best for everyone, including a fully grown, intelligent, woman like (Y/N)”

“Shit, Parker, do you think it was easy for me?” Miguel uttered, pinching the bridge of his nose before resting his face against the palm of his hand, “What I said about this being the hand I was dealt…I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with that. Hell, I don’t even know how I’m going to keep myself from showing up at her dimension to try and get her back here the first chance I get.”

“And why would you have to keep yourself from doing that?” Peter asked patiently. It sounded like a better alternative to “Miguel, I love you man but I swear you’ve got the emotional availability of a tree stump. Beats me how (Y/N) was able to get you to admit your feelings without prying your chest open with a jigsaw to see your pounding heart for herself.”

“She was right. We were never supposed to meet in the first place. Not like this. It’s not…”

“Miguel, I swear if I hear the word ‘canon’ even once in this conversation I’m going to drive my head through a wall,”

“Just because you don’t take anything seriously doesn’t mean everybody’s the same,” Miguel hissed back.

“That’s where you’re wrong. Last time I didn’t take something seriously, I ended up just like you will unless you get your priorities sorted out. Alone, and regretting not focusing on what was important,”

“This is important,” Miguel stubbornly argued.

“More important than what you had? Look at yourself. Just forty-eight hours ago you were as happy with (Y/N) as you’d been for the past eight months. And as happy as I’ve been with Mayday and my wife who, by the way, wouldn’t even be with me if it wasn’t for that kid you just called a mistake. And do you see my dimension going up in flames? Or yours? Or hers?”

Unable to find an argument against that, Miguel remained silent, his eyes fixed on an empty spot on the wall in front of him.

“Listen, I know you’re afraid. You don’t want her to get hurt, but if you love her as much as you claim to, then you’re taking the choice of a coward right now. And you can’t afford to be one, especially now.”

“Especially now?” Miguel inquired, turning to look at his friend who, much to his surprise, pressed his lips together as if he’d made a mistake and instead focused on getting Mayday’s hair out of her face.

“My point is; I know you well enough to know you worship that woman. And she thinks you’re pretty decent too. And I can tell you from experience that you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life if you let this come between you.”

Not knowing what else to add, Peter gently patted Miguel’s shoulder before leaving the room, hoping he’d given him enough to think about. Hopefully, enough to make him change his mind.

Meanwhile, Miguel hadn’t moved since Peter left the room, mulling his words over.

Two, particularly, had stuck with him for some reason.

Especially now.

[7ndipity]

Going on tour with Yoongi

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: headcanons and blurb about traveling with Yoongi

Warnings: little angst in the blurb, not proofread

A/N: I had two different requests come in regarding Yoongi's tour, so I decided to combine them, I hope that's okay. Thanks to the lovely anons who requested these, I hope you like it!

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

He was honestly so happy and excited when you agreed to his suggestion of going with him.

(He didn't want to admit it, but the idea of being away from you for weeks at a time made him feel physically unwell.)

He loved being able to take you to so many places that he'd only been able to tell you about previously.

Obviously, he was usually super tired following a show, so you would typically have a lazy half day, sleeping til noon, before going out sightseeing.

Having you around helped give him a better sense of balance, and gave him something to focus on in the middle of the chaos of tour life.

You two had developed several little routines and habits, even if it was just sitting with you for a bit after he had his hair and makeup done, going over the same checklist that he does every night to make sure you have what you needed for the show.

• "You got everything? Where's your lanyard passes?" He asked, fiddling with a strand of your hair before tucking behind your ear.

"It's in my bag." You said.

"Go ahead and put it on, I don't want you getting getting caught without it or losing it."

"Yes mom-OW!" You teased, earning a pinch from him.

He knows he might be over doing it sometimes with how he fussed over you, but making sure you had everything you needed and were okay made him feel much more comfortable going up on stage.

As much as he worried over you though, you were no better when it came to him, always fussing at him to eat enough, get enough sleep and rest, etc.

You're still one of his biggest supporters tho, always wearing tour merch or something bts related to the shows, even if it's just to get a rise out of him (he laughed for nearly ten minutes when you showed up with a shooky headband)

It made him smile though, knowing that somewhere out in the sea of lights, even though he might not always be able to spot it, there was a particular army bomb with your names scribbled on it.

"Are you okay?" You asked quietly, as you lay in bed.

""I think so, it was just... a lot you know?" He mumbled.

You hummed in response, combing your fingers through his hair, still damp from the shower, as you looked down at him resting against you.

The makeup had been washed away, the stylized waves now resting limp against his face, even the slightly cocky air seemed to have been packed away like his clothes. He was back to Yoongi, not Suga or Agust d, your Yoongi.

The tour had come to a close. Somehow, four months had flicked by before either of you could really grasp it, leaving behind a whirlwind of emotions. Pride, regret, gratitude, fear, joy. Tonight had been especially emotional with so many of his members there to cheer him on for the final show.

"You did really well." You whispered.

He didn't respond, only letting out a grunt as your fingers found a knot.

"Is there anything I can do?" You asked.

"You're already doing it." He sighed. "Just by being here."

You were both fell silent again, you would've thought he'd fallen asleep if it weren't for the rhythmic tapping of his fingers where they rested against your sides.

"Thank you," He said suddenly. "For coming with me. I don't know how I would've coped without you."

"You would've managed," You tried to say lightly-heartedly "You made it before without me."

"Yeah, but I don't want to." He said, squeezing you and making your heart tighten in response.

"You have me," You said softly. "Even when I can't be there in person, you've always got me."

So much uncertainty lay ahead, but all that could wait til tomorrow.

Right now, all you both wanted was hold on, keeping each other close as you felt his still slightly uneasy heart calm to a more steady pace against yours.

[mosaickiwi]

Meowdy~

I'm Momo/Mosa c: either one

I like to write!!! Except it's just for 14DWY 99.999999% of the time sorry. I need to reformat this pin at some point... getting too long 🧍‍♀️

if u wanna support me here's a kofi link :3c

if u wanna read stuff on ao3 instead here's another link :3c <- it's very empty rn tho!!

anyways ur here for some silly fics??? have a list ⬇⬇⬇ most recent ones are at the top and/or highlighted!

14 Days With You

your angle... or yuor devil

An Offering for the Koi God (AU)

Home Away From

For Two

Logic Puzzle

Patience

Leaping In

All Clean!!!

Kabedon (politely)

Little "Love" Notes

14DWY as a Drama (AU)

Fall Unto Me (Demon!Ren AU) part one, part two, part three, part four, epilogue info dump

Everything and Anything (pls read cw tags)

Soft - Light

Hide and Seek

Illusion of Choice

"Bad" Gift Giver Angel (head canon list)

Nails, TV, Moving

Sick Nasty

Someone in Between, Something Intertwined

Masterlist of NSFW [REDACTED] fics and blurbs

These aren't posted publicly at the moment, so it's a WIP with ao3 versions slowly being uploaded

REQUESTS: OPEN FOREVER!!

i get to it when i get to it

Request Guidelines

~PLEASE READ~

While I currently don’t write smut for requests, 14 Days With You is intended for an 18+ audience, so please keep that in mind and have your age visible in your bio! If you prefer to be anon remember to send another letting me know it's you from your main account! <3

ALL REQUESTS ARE FOR 14DWY [REDACTED] AT THE MOMENT (but other characters can just so happen to be there too!! but angel is still dating/interested in redacted only sowwy)

Please be clear and concise about what you want. A few sentences works great, but if you do want to paint a bigger picture, 70 words at most! <- This applies to the request itself not the entire message! Feel free to get silly in my asks otherwise.

Please don't direct me/give me a script! Gentle reminder that I am not a bot.

Additionally, since some requests might be similar in content I may combine or do only one of them.

With that said, please don’t rush me! I have other things I’m working on + irl c:

All fics are a gender neutral reader unless otherwise specified in the request through certain topics.

If any of these are unclear, ASK so I can clarify <3

Requests CAN be:

SFW, fluff, angst, comfort, implied/mentions of smut i.e. aftercare, roleplay before the action, ~vaguely~ alluding to school/college/etc., AUs as long as they aren’t someone else’s (unless the creator has stated to be okay with it), death and murder!!

Requests CANNOT be:

smut/explicit NSFW, cheating, self harm, student life stuff (studying or something similar is fine just pls spare me from having to think about college/campus bullshit 😭), angel being mean to redacted

Request List (please check to avoid repeats!)

Anxious, Clingy, Nervous Angel

Lazy Cuddle Day

Low Motivation Angel

Super Obsessed Angel

A Little Free Time

Touch Averse Angel

Wedding Day

Literal Domestic Fluff (Fox Ren)

A Sick Angel

A Riding Lesson

Your Actual First Kiss

Flip the Script(s) - Isekai AU

Very Cherry

Redecorating

Shorts

Beach "Date"

[gennemi]

!!!!𝑹𝑬𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑺 𝑶𝑷𝑬𝑵!!!!

My requests are open! I do Smut, Angst, and Fluff! You can submit your requests in as anon! As long as you are 18+! I don't mind doing Female/gender neutral or non binary reader! I'm fine with LGBTQIA+ related stuff!

Things I will do is: Headcanons, SMAU (Social Media AU), one-shots, and small drabbles as far as like anime goes!

I will also do Modern AU with Demon Slayer, One Piece and Attack on Titan! And No Curses AU with JJK!

I'm also starting to write for Attack On Titan and Obey Me!

𝑹𝑼𝑳𝑬𝑺 𝑨𝑺 𝑭𝑨𝑹 𝑨𝑺 𝑹𝑬𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮:

My nos for smut:

-Non Con/Rape/Dubious Consent

-Pedophilia

-Scat, Piss/Throw up Kink

Others I won't write for:

-Abuse

-Large Age Gaps

-Incest/stepcest

-Minor/Adult relationships

-ANY SMUT TO DO WITH CHARACTERS THAT ARE MINORS ARE A NO!

YOU MUST BE 18+ BEFORE REQUESTING SMUT!!! MINORS OR AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED!!

I'm an active rper! I do rp Demon Slayer, Jujutsu Kaisen, One Piece, Attack on Titan, Obey Me! , and Pokemon! Discord is in bio! MUST BE 18+ I DON'T RP WITH MINORS!!!

I will also tell you if I'm uncomfortable with doing a certain thing! Don't get mad/upset. I have boundaries with writing certain things to do with Smut, Fluff and Angst! I just don't feel comfortable with writing somethings that can be triggering!

I'm also starting a taglist!!! Lemme know if you want to be apart of my taglist either via DM or Inbox!!!

𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝑷𝑰𝑬𝑪𝑬:

A/N:The characters listed are the ones I'm mostly familiar with writing for!/can try to write for! I will add more later! I'll even do Live Action One Piece for some of the characters listed (Mihawk, Zoro, Shanks, and Buggy)

-Trafalgar Law

-Portgas D. Ace

-Dracule Mihawk

-Roronao Zoro

-Sanji Vinsmoke

-Monkey D. Luffy

- Shanks

-Buggy

𝑲𝑰𝑴𝑬𝑻𝑺𝑼 𝑵𝑶 𝒀𝑨𝑰𝑩𝑨

A/N: Same applies for this one also, it's only characters I can try/familiar with writing for! I will add more later!

-Sanemi Shinazugawa

-Genya Shinazugawa- SFW ONLY

-Tanjiro Kamado- SFW ONLY

-Muzan Kibutsuji

-Hantengu Clones

-Tengen Uzui + wives

- Kyojuro Rengoku

-Akaza

𝑱𝑼𝑱𝑼𝑻𝑺𝑼 𝑲𝑨𝑰𝑺𝑬𝑵

A/N: Same applies here! Only characters I'm familiar/can try to write for! Will add more later!

-Satoru Gojo

-Kento Nanami

-Yuji Itadori- SFW ONLY

-Ryomen Sukuna- FOUR ARMED VERSION ONLY

-Megumi Fushiguro- SFW ONLY

𝑷𝑶𝑲𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑵

A/N: Same applies here! Only characters I'm familiar/can try to write for! Will add more later!

-Grusha- Pokemon Violet/Scarlett

-Arven- Pokemon Violet/Scarlett

-Steven Stone-Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire/XYZ

𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑶𝑵 𝑻𝑰𝑻𝑨𝑵

A/N: Same applies here! Only characters I'm familiar/can try to write for! Will add more later!

-Levi Ackerman (Just him for now)

𝑶𝑩𝑬𝒀 𝑴𝑬!

A/N: same with here! I'll be writing for the brothers I'm more comfortable with rn, will add the rest of the brothers/characters later!

-Lucifer

-Beelzebub

-Leviathan

-Belphgor

-----------------------------

A/N: It will take me a while to get to writing the requests out!!!! And if my inbox is full I will close off the requests!!! And I will open them back up when I get caught up on requests!!! I'm sometimes busy so it will take a while!! I don't want to burn myself out on writing to much, so I will take breaks!!! My bio and this post will let you know if my requests are open or closed!!! I will also update my masterlist as I go!! I will do a separate masterlist for any series I do that will have longer parts!! Be patient with me as I'm only one person! It will take me a while to do requests!! I will probably be making a separate account for The Walking Dead/The Boondock Saints! But this is my Multi fandom Account!

That should be all for now!! Thank you!! Don't be shy to request anything!!! And ask to be apart of my Taglist!!!

My One Piece Tumblr: @traffydren

My discord: gennemi. (Period included)

🖤✨𝑹𝒆𝒏'𝒔 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕✨🖤

I rp!

[jaminjims]

「TO MAKE YOU PROUD」

anon request: Hi can you do one but it's not in any of your prompts, but its an eight female member ot7 of course it better if its an ot7 , so can you do where the female reader decided to take online classes but the guys dont know and when its time for her to graduate she tells the boys that theyre going somewhere but doesn't tell them where but when they get there it turns out its her graduation day. Thank you, i just found your account and i love the way you write 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

pairing: bts x f!reader (platonic)

genre: crack!!!, fluff, a tiny bit of angst

warnings: university LOL

words: 2.8k

never let it be said that you didn't like being an idol.

you love how you bring smiles to fans and how your parents talk about you with pride, you especially love the second family you found within your members

you love bts, perhaps more than anything else

although you receive a great amount of love from those around you, the anxiety to live up to those standards accompanies you like a shadow

that brings you to here: your computer light illuminating your face and graham cracker crust on your lips at an hour you should definitely not be up at, staring at one tiny little button that could change your life (you like being dramatic)

now, you have performed on more stages than you can count; given plenty of interviews and have embarrassed yourself a multitude of times in front of millions of people

nothing compares to the nerves you feel as your cursor hovers over the tiny blue button that glares back at you mockingly

'ENROLL'

who knew that one word could be so scary?

never let it be said that you didn't like making people proud, either.

you hit the button and slam your laptop closed, trying not to wake up your groupmates as you muffle a scream into your pillow

you really should've slept like namjoon told you to hours ago

~*~

you were being weird, and the maknaes could practically smell it

on one occasion they actually did. you smelled like you hadn't taken a shower in four days and you definitely looked like it too. was the extended break the company had given bts getting to you?

on your side, you were determined to keep the college classes you signed up for in the degen hours a secret, but damn. your professors made it really hard when they all decided to collectively assign three papers and a test at once

it had been roughly a month since they've started, and you wanted to die

idol training? a piece of cake compared to whatever fresh hell your professors conjured up. did they like torturing you?

what they said in their comments on your past assignments pointed to a boldly printed, neon colored: 'YES'

as you started to drink your fourth coffee of the day, trying to stay coherent enough even though it was only one pm in the afternoon, the maknaes decided to confront you about... whatever has happening to you

jungkook slid inconspicuously into the seat next to you at the dining table and blinked at you with those damn doe eyes

"so... whatcha up too?"

you almost snort your coffee in his face.

jimin, taehyung, and jungkook all look at each other worriedly

"do you need to see a therapist y/n? we know being on break for the first time in a while can be hard, but you really don't look too good." jimin says like the sweetheart he is

before you can reply, a ding from your phone grabs your attention and you look at it only to see the new gut-wrenching comment your writing teacher made on your 'side-effects of the fame of idol life' paper

'i like the enthusiasm, but you almost seem to be invested to the point of being pushy. stop that.'

you whine and slowly lower your head to the table in a dull 'thump'

teahyung sends a text to the group therapist

~*~

it has been about six months since you have started to take online classes, and you like to think that you have gotten marginally better at covering up the lack of sleep and the effect the comments your professors (which honestly, they must be out to get you personally) have on you

your schedule had been resuming as normal starting a few weeks ago and you already missed the blessed days of nothing to worry about except the brutality of college

as you go to put on concealer, you find the bottle suspiciously empty. have the maknaes used your makeup again? (you refuse to believe that you had used the whole bottle that you had only bought two weeks ago)

as you slink into yoongi's room, looking just as tired as you feel, to steal some of his makeup (which will eventually send him into stealing jin's and then from jin to jimin and so on until namjoon has enough and forces you all to get your shit together), he is typing something on his phone with his back to you

"yoongi-ah, i need to makeup"

then he turns around and startles because why do you look like that

yes, why indeed

"you look terrible"

you stare blankly at him and then turn on your heels, "ok, thank you. bye."

he sighs at the ever-persistent pain-in-his-ass that is you and turns you around, genuine worry in his eyes; asking silent questions and giving soft reassurances in case there was anything you needed to get off your chest

you almost tear up because how did you become so lucky

you haven't had your first coffee yet and you get sensitive and squishy when you're tired

once again, you question why you decided to put yourself through this

why do people pay to go through a personalized hell of their own making?

anyways

apparently, you get all broody without sleep as well

you realize you have been staring at yoongi for a few minutes without saying anything, looking like you have no thoughts, head empty

hoseok bursts into the room with all the decorum of a cracked-up butterfly and announces that breakfast is ready

he looks at you and does a double take

"woah."

your forehead meets your palm

yoongi sighs and drags hobi out of the room, "two shots of expresso?"

"add three" you say miserably

another therapist visit you have earned, you realize, as you get the notification that yoongi added it to your calendar

~*~

you skip into dance practice with a beaming smile on your face and practically throw yourself onto hoseok, and because he's hoseok he catches you and twirls you around

for the first time since starting your courses, your excited demeanor isn't caused by enough expresso to kill a small hippo

it's your one-year anniversary! you are halfway there to your degree!

you thank the god that is your mother for forcing you to take all those fancy advanced classes when you were in high school

the urge to actually scream "yippee!" like a cartoon character is surprisingly overwhelming and who are you to deny yourself?

"yippee!"

and because the guys are endlessly supportive, they chime into whatever you're celebrating without even knowing what the hell they are congratulating you for

they have long since gotten used to your strange habits and have learned to play along

i mean, what the hell, right? supporting you in whatever crazed manic episode that has been ongoing for the past 12 months is the least they can do for you

(your therapist said to be supportive)

god decided to give you a call and you answer it without hesitation while still being awkwardly held up by hobi. "hi, mom"

you pat his back to let you down, give him a fist bump, and then leave the room exactly like you came in it

"did she have her mom's contact as god?"

~*~

you, like the past year and half, feel like crying.

it's about that time when you have to start your senior project as an 'accelerated student'

whatever that means

you basically have to come up with a thesis and write a paper on it pertaining to your major, in which usually you would get two years to do

like an idiot, you have six months because you didn't start it when you first started classes

(you would like to see someone else try to balance college and being a world-wide famous idol, okay?)

so, here you are at one am, holding a bottle of apple juice to sooth your inner child, and some flavor blasted goldfish, trying not to cry your eyes out over the blank document that you have been staring at for over ten minutes

you take a deep breath, put your apple juice down, rub you hands together, smack your face, and then force yourself to write down something, anything

'music'

that's how far you get before your phone rings, and because luck is never on your side, you see namjoon's contact who is probably going to tell you to go to bed for the third time

you answer and before he even says anything, your eye's tear up

"joonie..." you whisper, sounding all too much like the sleep deprived child you are

because he is essentially your father, he picks up on it immediately

"y/n-ah," he sighs, because this has become a common occurrence, "what do you need help with?"

"everything," you blubber miserably

so, namjoon stays on the phone with you until four am (even though he is literally down the hall, but he is 'too cozy to move'), helping you come up with a draft thesis statement and introduction you were supposed to turn into your teacher a year ago, and because he is the best person ever! (you change that to his contact) he doesn't ask why you need help writing a thesis, as they know you won't tell them what you've been doing

you both walk into the kitchen the next morning looking, and feeling, like sacks of shit

"uhm." is the eloquent response jimin gives to the look the both of you have on your faces

jin wordlessly hands you both coffee with too much expresso and kisses your foreheads because he is amazing and he hopes it will hold you two together until at least the meeting with the staff is over

you and namjoon's phones go off with a ding! at the same time, and you both have matching therapy appointments

yay! the lunacy is spreading!

~*~

you are in the home stretch

you can smell it, feel it, even fucking taste it

and as you hover over the finally for-the-love-of-god-get-this-paper-out-of-my-fucking-face-thesis submit button, you countdown to yourself like an astronaut about to take off

"three, two, one..." you take a deep breathe, "lift off!" you hit the button

as soon as it says upload complete, you cry tears of joy

victory has never tasted so fucking sweet in your life (although maybe that was the cosmic brownie you had a few minutes ago)

~*~

within the next week, you talk to management about letting the boys attend your graduation ceremony and of course management says yes (they knew you were taking classes, even though you didn't tell them. talk about scary corporate companies knowing your every move)

and when the day arrives when you finally get your diploma, you are more nervous than you've been since your debut

the boys are a big reason why you've decided to pursue your education, and even if they didn't know it, you wouldn't have been able to make it without them

you aren't one to be sentimental, but you kinda want to cry at just how much you feel

you made it. achieved one of your dreams, not only for you, but for them.

you take a deep breath and you let the sense of fulfillment take over your heart and you let it sit there

your phone goes off, and it's the management telling you that the graduation event is ready, and that in kahoots with the online school you attended, they are ready to have the ceremony

"ok boys! time to roll out!" you scream, even though they have all sitting in the living room ready for thirty minutes because you made sure they would be ready by the time you had to go

"y/n, can you please tell us where we are going?" teahyung asks as he links arms with you

"nope!" you chirp, and because you are mean you add, "it's a surprise!"

jungkook comes up to link his other arm in yours, "does this have anything to with how you've been acting for a while?"

damn, he really is the golden maknae

you are suspiciously silent and everyone is suddenly weary of where you are taking them

you weren't going to murder them in a fit of hysteria, right?

but looking at your smiling and blushing face, they all can't help but smile with you and trust

the ride to the venue is only about fifteen minutes and you can't help but be excited and talk animatedly with your members

you almost spill the beans about where you're going but manage to not give too much away (barely, you kind of think the franticness is due to caffeine withdrawal)

before you know it, the eight of you are pulling up into the parking lot and the others look out with perplexed frowns on their faces

you look at them with a smile, "you trust me, yeah?"

they look to you and grin, "always."

you all walk in and when you get inside the venue hallways, you split from the group and manager sejin (just barely) corrals the boys forward without you

you run to get ready and put on your cap and gown, and you have to take another deep breath when you look at yourself in the mirror, because wow. if you knew a graduation gown would look this good you would have graduated college a long time ago

(you only just manage to keep the tears from ruining your makeup)

when the boys enter into a private room and see all of the other people sitting down in the stadium seats, their first thought is that you are holding some sort of surprise concert or something. they honestly don't have any idea what you are going to do, and they joke about how you are going to perform a magic show or some other equally ludicrous event

the lights dim and all of their attention is on the empty chairs sitting in the middle of the auditorium, and then all of a sudden a spotlight shines onto the graduates who walk in from the side entrance

speakers start to blast the school anthem (not that they know that) as the graduates make their way to their seats and boys gasp when they see you on the big screen

"is that-?"

"no fucking way."

"what is she doing?"

because there you are, flashing a peace sign and sticking your tongue out to the camera man who's broadcasting it to the big screen, walking to your designated chair

you will always and forever be a dork

they all laugh incredulously and can't help but have to sit down in shock

none of them can speak as the principal of the school introduces the class of 2023 graduates. he goes through what the school stands for and blah blah blah

when the time finally comes where you have to line up and get your diploma's, namjoon, hoseok, seokjin, and jungkook are crying, yoongi hides his smile behind his hands, and teahyung and jimin has ceased to function as they watch on, barely able to breathe

they all hold their breath as you finally walk up on to the stage and shake the principals hand

"y/n l/n, 2023 graduate with a degree in the arts of music writing and production"

the boys have never cheered so loudly in their life, and you swore you could hear them from your spot up on stage

you smile so big and wide and take a second to stand on the stage and bow, and the boys who weren't crying before definitely are now

its all a blur as you make it off of the stage and ushered into the private room the boys are in. you don't even make it three steps in before you are surrounded on all sides

"i can't believe you did this."

"y/n, you're amazing."

"i knew you weren't just going crazy."

there are voices all around you. some are laughing, some are praising you, all are crying

jin pulls you from the group in a hug that lifts your feet off the floor, "is this why you manhandled me into making you so much food the last few days?"

you laugh and whip at your eyes, "yeah, i wanted to have a good dinner when we got home" he sets you down and pulls you into his side with an arm around your shoulder

"i am so, so proud of you." he whispers into your hair

taehyung comes up on your other side and hugs you around the waist, "we all are"

your eyes tear up and before you know it you are wailing like a baby again

"i love you guys more than anything in the world," you whine out, a blubbering mess

they all smile and make fun of you, and there is nothing that can beat the feeling that wells up in your chest

never let it be said you don't like making people proud

later, a horrendously ugly photo of you crying with the guys all around you is uploaded to all of your social medias and your face is made into a meme, but, hey, you made it out alive, and that's all that mattered

(even if you did have to see a therapist)

[end]

a/n: what better way to jumpscare ya'll with an update other than with crack? but in all seriousness, i am so so so sorry this was so late anon! you've waited literal years, and i would write an ao3-usque excuse but i don't even deserve it ;( as always, i hope you guys have an amazing week, and i love you bunches (please imagine that in a skrunkly old grandma voice) ♡♡♡

masterlist!

request something! (pls, for the love of everything holy, check the request status first!)

[smolcinnamonchipmunk]

Okay okay sorry for barging in here unannounced (jk not really-) but like HOLY SHIT!! I got my Damm ass dragged into yet ANOTHER fandom like JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A STICK LET ME HAVE PEACE!

I got dragged into the deadplate fandom. Deadplate is a game about a guy, Rody, who gets a job at a well known restaurant who is owned by the this guy/Head chef, Vincent. I haven’t seen much of the game since I was fed info out of order but I do know this game has canabalism in it plus some other dark shit bc I find it ironic how the game puts the player in the situation of a RESTAURANT with a FUCKING CANABAL?!?!? I would say that imo the fandom would have hella fear play gt vibes HEAVY HEAVYYYY angst potential and lots of ✨ T R A U M A ✨.

10/10 would not like to be in that world if I was reincarnated thank you very much!

That’s my daily rant bc why not??? Anyways hope you’re doing well and staying hydrated bc if not I will come through your walls to give you water.

Bye bye~ !!!!

- 🌽 anon

(Ps: I’m trying to gain the courage to either come off anon or maybe drop my blog in (in private maybe) so then you can put a blog to this amazing anon teehee. So far I have no balls to do so)

I was about to say "I have enough on my plate without adding on a deadplate", but then you described the game and I was just like "THIS FUCKING SHIT"

I actually gushed about this slightly to an online buddy four months ago but, uh, turns out they don't really like cannibalism stuff. Known them for years, had no idea. Although, I don't THINK Vincent is exactly a cannibal. He talks about how he was going to feed the dish to Rody, but Vincent also eats his ear way too easily, so idk

But yeah, we talked about how fascinating/neat it would be if it was used with an actual pred chef and prey worker. Like, the pred has traveled the world in culinary pursuit to taste ANYTHING and somehow this poor prey worker is essentially ambrosia to them. SO much angst potential with a yandere/possessive pred that refuses to let them go after finally tasting/feeling something other than nothingness

Would I want to be in that world? No. Does it compel me? Absolutely

(You're welcome to use your account or not! I like to think of my place as safe and comfortable to everyone (with obvious exceptions like pedos and shit), but you'll always be Corn to me ngl)

[fratboykate]

Because I can't let it go and I'm an east coaster. Enjoy waking up to this:

Kate tries so hard to make sure the kids are not impacted by her and Yelenas argument. She and Yelena are in agreement on that so with the kids, it's business as usual, but kids got these stupid things called brains and feelings so they know their moms are having problems.

Maks, fearing for his family staying together, apologizes for being upset that Yelena missed the play. Yelena can either break or look at Kate like "he forgives me, why can't you" because I genuinely think she's so analytical and book smart, she forgets feelings so she could really go either way on that.

But you just have the kids walking on eggshells around them and Kate hates it but Yelena keeps saying "we need to get over this" which isn't an apology. It's kicking the can down the road. And so they're in therapy one day and Kate just goes OFF about not letting her kids feel abandoned and Yelena should understand why that issue is so important.

I need to go lay down.

You really can't dangle angst in front of me and expect me to resist. Here's 2k words of "moms are fighting" like that other anon said lol.

---

Yelena pokes her head into the dimly lit office where her wife sits, intently pouring over stacks of documents.

"Hey. You coming to bed?" Kate flips a page and scribbles a note on the edge. "You don't have to sleep in the guest room...You should come to bed...I stopped at La Perla on my way home and bought some new things I could show you. You never say no to a private fashion show." Kate thumbs a few pages back and cross-references that data with the one on the current page. Yelena is blatantly getting iced out. The blonde nods and sighs. "Well, at least I know you'll have to talk to me on Friday from four to four fifty."

Yelena references their standing bi-weekly couple's therapy appointment in jest, mostly trying to lighten the air between them. She loathes that Kate can hold a grudge like no one else.

"It's not a joke, dude. None of this has ever been a joke to me." Kate rebuffs her without looking up from the splayed-out folders.

"Are you implying it is to me?"

Yelena steps inside, closes the door behind her, approaches one of the two plush chairs across from Kate’s desk, and unceremoniously plops herself onto it.

"You treat it...us...very aloofly when you feel like it. Like things you can put on a shelf when it's inconvenient to have us around, so, yah. I guess I am."

"You always have the drama dialed up to twelve." Yelena states, her tone lighthearted. She's frankly pushing to minimize this, not maliciously, but because she needs it to go away. Yelena needs them to be okay again. She can only handle them being in a weird place for so long before it starts to drive her slightly mad, and this has already been going on for weeks now. Slowly escalating until it all blew up.

Kate huffs and shakes her head incredulously.

"Maybe people are right. Maybe we do marry versions of our parents because you're exactly like my mom."

W O O F. Kate could've called her wife a slur and it would've stung less than being compared to either of Kate's parents, particularly Eleanor.

"The hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"You're a genius. Figure it out."

"Why are you hellbent on making this worse? He forgave me. Why can't you?"

"Dude..." Kate swallows an aggravated, throaty groan. "Sometimes I can't figure out if you're actually this dumb outside your little lab or if you pretend to be so I let you get away with shit."

"You're angry. I get it. But don't insult me. I draw the line at disrespect. We can talk this through without going low or being childish."

A bitter laugh escapes Kate.

"You seriously have zero self-awareness. It's stunning to watch. You should have one of your coworkers observe you. 'Genius who's a fucking idiot in disguise: a study in how she gets through life.' could win you some awards. That's all you care about anyway."

"Yeah, we're going to do this in therapy because I'm not letting you goad me into saying something I don't mean."

"Whatever."

Yelena stands and attempts to walk away, but Kate's reply forces her right back down.

"Stop acting like a child, Katherine. I have three of those already. Don't need a fourth."

"You remembered you have kids?! AN EARLY CHRISTMAS MIRACLE."

Yelena rises again and manages to walk a few feet this time, but she eventually pivots and stomps back. Kate has successfully managed to push her buttons.

"I told you. I told you so many times that more than one was a bad idea. I'd be stretched thin. It's why my parents only had me. My mom knew this career is complicated. Time-consuming. But unlike you, my dad listened. He got it and they acted accordingly. Responsibly."

Halfway through her diatribe, Kate jumps in and begins talking over her wife.

"I'm sorry I can't be a perfect, obedient lap dog like your dad. I wanted a big family. You always knew that."

"AND YOU KNEW I DIDN'T! You knew it. We talked about it for years. You should've married someone who wanted the same things."

"You should've just said no if you weren't going to be around."

"Do you even remotely comprehend that it’s basically impossible to say 'no' to you?! Remember the cabin? I told you I didn't want kids and you threatened to leave me, Kate. You asked for a divorce, said you were done with me if we didn't."

"Don't rewrite history now. You said you weren't ready yet. YET. Not that you didn't want them at all."

"It was so clear. It was clear what I meant."

"Words have meanings. You can't change them retroactively. That is NOT what you said."

"Maybe not at that moment, but I told you I had doubts before that day. More than once. You heard what you wanted to hear."

"One is a mistake. Four is a pattern."

"You wouldn't stop asking! I wanted to make you happy. That's all I've ever wanted. Obviously Maks...after......Maks was my idea. I know that. I needed it after the...It felt wrong not to try again. And you were so upset. You tried to bury it, but I could see it. I always know. I knew it would make you happy to try again."

"They're not some consolation prize, dude. What is wrong with you?"

"I never said they were. Don't put words in my mouth."

"Can you leave? I have work to do."

"I love them. More than I think I could ever quantify."

"You're doing the bare minimum. Congratulations. Good for you."

"Stop being an asshole. I'm trying to have a conversation."

"I got shit to do."

Yelena doesn't move, mind racing. After a long beat, she speaks anew.

"Maybe it's my pride, maybe it is...but do you have any idea how hard it is to feel so incredibly subpar at the ONE THING you're desperate to be great at? I don't have to try at work. That's innate to me. It's easy. This...all of it...I feel like I'm treading water every day. There's not one day that I've gone to bed feeling I've done a good job with them. I think I can be a good partner, most of the time at least. I feel like I did it for a long time before we had them, so I can confidently say I'm no less than competent on that front, but I've never felt anything except terrible at being a mom. It's an awful thing to come to terms with every single night. I don't think there's been ONE night since Alex was born when I don't beat myself up over everything I did wrong or could've done better that day before I fall asleep. It's suffocating sometimes, Kate. I often feel like the weight of my own disappointment is smothering me. Add yours on top of that and…it’s not easy for me. None of it. You're a better mom than me. Always have been. They love you more too and I get it. I get it. It's understandable. If I were in their shoes, I would too."

"It's not a competition. Never has been."

"Sure. Doesn't mean this come naturally to only one of us and it certainly isn't me. Sometimes it feels like the best thing I can do for all of you is stay out of your way. You seem to do fine without me when I'm not around."

"We've kind of had to learn to lately. You checked out."

"I didn't."

"This is your dissertation all over again."

"If you felt that way, why wouldn't you say something? We promised we would never let it get that bad again. We said we wouldn't."

"I can't spell everything out for you."

"I also can't read your mind."

"Trust me. You don't need mentalist skills to put two and two together. You just don't care enough to pay attention."

"Why do you go out of your way to say things that hurt me when you're angry? You know I care. Of course I care."

"Why do YOU go out of your way to DO things that hurt ME?! ALL.THE.TIME! All the time, dude."

"I don't mean to."

"That would be an excuse for almost anyone else, but you've got a big ass brain, so...try again. Not good enough."

"I don't know how else to apologize for missing the play."

"This is so much bigger than the play! My god, it's impossible to talk to you."

"Try."

"Yelena, I have work. This is the third time I've asked you to leave my office."

"Work is more important than this?"

Kate's eyes shoot up from her computer screen to scowl directly at Yelena.

"Don't play that bullshit with me right now because that would be RICH coming from you."

"I'm only trying to talk."

Kate doesn’t offer an answer and refocuses on her work instead. 

Yelena is not deterred. She’s not leaving. 

They sit silently. Kate examines papers then types as anger oozes out of each pore. Yelena wordlessly follows her every move with her eyes. 

After around a dozen minutes of Kate trying to play it cool while her wife's gaze bores into her, she forcefully shuts her computer and glares at Yelena.

"My entire fucking childhood, I had to watch my parents pick other shit over us. I won't let you do it to them. I know what it did to me, what it did to Deej and I'm breaking that pattern. I also won't force them to watch us do this charade of pretending to be okay for their sake. Either we fix it...YOU fix it...or it's done."

"So what? You want me to quit my job? Become a stay-at-home mom?"

"No. I just need you to get your fucking priorities straight."

"So it's you, or it's done?"

"'Prioritize your family over work' is a pretty fucking basic ask, dude. Don't make me sound irrational because I'm not."

"Why do you always do this? Why do you always throw divorce around so flippantly the moment we have big issues come up?"

Kate stands from her chair.

"If you're not letting me work, I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted."

"If you truly want to break the pattern, then stop running away like your parents did..."

"Yelena." Kate speaks over her wife. Firmly. A blatant warning that she should stop going down that path.

"...They blow relationships up every time things get hard because it's easier to walk away than to work at it."

"Don't bring my parents into this."

"You already compared me to your parents. Twice."

"If you don't want that, quit acting like them. Simple. I'm going to sleep. In the guest room."

"You're the one who always walks away..."

"Yelena, I swear to fucking god...Stop talking."

"...and I'm the one always chasing."

"Must be nice living in an alternate fucking reality. For someone who claims they don't want a divorce, you sure love to do everything in your power to push me to it."

"You know what, Kate? Fine. You want to be away from me this badly? I'll go to a hotel tonight then stay with my parents starting tomorrow. You come find me when you're ready to stop acting like your father and are willing to have a conversation with me like the adults we're supposed to be."

"Do whatever the fuck you want. It's what happens anyway."

"Good."

"GREAT."

Kate storms out of the office, leaving Yelena behind. The blonde exhales explosively and allows her head to sag between her shoulders. 

That's not how tonight was supposed to go, but Yelena is too proud to back off from the threat now. She has to call Kate’s bluff at some point, or they will get stuck in this cycle forever. Now might be as good a time as any to see how far her wife is willing to take this.

...Seems like she has to go pack.

[alpurrtwhizkersss]

hi love! I saw your post asking for requests and U don't know if you're in the mood to write supernatural AU or just in the real supernatural world so I'm sending two requests, okay?! one AU, and one canonical, so you can pick whatever your mood wants to ,<3 for the AU one I always try to find punk! dean x reader (there's only a small number of fics like that and I've already read them all😭) and it could be either ir a completely different universe or in the supernatural universe itself, but with punk! dean. the non-AU request could maybe be an enemy to lovers dean x reader??? or an lovers to enemies to lovers again? I'm a SUCKER for those!!!

They Love You, Dean

Requested By:  anonymous!

Warnings: Dean being insulting to the reader, so maybe a bit OOC Dean? Reader struggles with self-criticism after Dean's been rude to them, swearing

Genre: Angst with a fluffy ending, enemies to lovers

Prompt: None

Reader is gender neutral, and they/them pronouns are used.

Author’s Note:

hey anon! thank you for the ask!! I decided I'd take your ask for enemies to lovers Dean because I LOVE enemies to lovers, and I'm terrible at writing AUs PFFFT

also this one’s a long boi lol i hope you’re ready!

but yes! I hope you enjoy!!!

Word Count: 2161

“Y/N!” Dean’s voice rang loudly in your ears as your head shot up from the rain-moist back window of said man’s ‘67 Impala, “Jesus! How long does it take to get you to wake up? What, were you in hibernation or something?”

Instead of justifying his snark with a reply, you tiredly opened the door for the impala, and half-stepped, half-stumbled out of it, and began rubbing your eyes aggressively before shutting it behind you.

You turned towards Sam’s heavy footfall at the trunk of the car, and smiled warmly. 

You didn’t want to say that you had favourites between the two brothers, no. You just maybe, sort-of, kind-of, possibly liked Sam more than you liked Dean… you couldn’t help it, Dean’s sarcastic attitude and the fact that he felt the need to play grab-ass with everybody he found attractive in the 1 mile radius got on your nerves! Plus, the way he was constantly insulting your skills or your presence didn’t help either. What made it worse, was the fact that you had actually felt quite strong romantic feelings towards the man when he had first come into your life, but you convinced yourself these had been extinguished by the time you got to know him. So, the next four years of your life had been filled with desperately trying to shove down the way your heart would race when he handed you a weapon and his hand brushed yours, or how you’d notice that when you’d be talking to a guy at some sleazy bar, his eyes would be on you at all times.

“Alriiiiight, let’s get moving, folks! Hurry it up, Y/N.” Dean called over as you pulled a large duffle bag out of the trunk, and you rolled your eyes.

“Sam’s taking just as long as me, how come he never gets shit for it?” You called back, but by now you knew that Dean just… didn’t like you, so you’d never tried to search for a reason. Sam glanced down at you as Dean mumbled something under his breath. 

“Sorry. He can be a real ass sometimes.” He smiled at you sympathetically, and you immediately softened, placing your hand on his.

“You don’t have to apologise for him, Sam. It’s not your mess.” You have his hand a soft squeeze before pulling away from the car and walking over beside Dean, who was staring up at the old motel you found yourself staying in.

“Well, this doesn’t look haunted at all.” You commented, trying to lighten the mood, but you felt as if your words landed like lead balloons in the air. 

“Well, it obviously isn’t, otherwise we wouldn’t be staying here.” He put bluntly, and you scoffed humorlessly, placing your hands on your hips.

“I know, Dean. I was joking, I’m not an idiot.” You retorted, and you could tell Dean was about to say something when Sam approached from behind, loudly cutting him off before he could do any more damage to your feelings.

“Okay! I’m ready, let’s go.” He announced, pushing past the two of you and into the creaky old motel.

You sighed heavily as you placed your duffel bag down, and lay back on the bed, placing your hands behind your weary head.

“You’re not even ‘gonna shower? You smell terrible, Y/N.” Your eyes shot open as you turned towards Dean, narrowing your eyes and feeling anger spark in your chest at the stupid smirk that rested on his face.

“Screw you, Dean. I smell fine, I showered yesterday. It’s you that smells like a sewage plant, maybe what you’re smelling is your own scent wafting back into your face.” You snapped, turning away from him and curling your knees up to your chest, trying not to let angry tears build up in your eyes. 

“Jesus, what a joy you are. Y’know, sometimes I really wish we’d just let that Wendigo get you all those years ago, woulda’ saved us a hell of a lot of grief tryna’ help your ass out every time we’re on a damn hunt.” Dean’s voice crashed into your skull, and it felt like the entire room went silent, even Sam’s quiet typing stopped.

“Dean-” Sam started, but you blocked out the conversation.

I can’t let him affect me. You thought, that’s what he wants. Yet, you couldn’t help but think of what you and him could have been, because as much as you tried to deny it, you really did feel a lot of affection for the man, and having to hear him insult you every day, whether it be for your clothes, your hunting skills, or how he wished he left you to die, broke your heart. You didn’t know what you’d done to upset Dean, but God, you wished you could go back and slap your past self for it. The culminating thoughts of self-criticism built up in your mind and you felt tears spring to your eyes once again, the searing pain that they caused your nose and eyes becoming too much to handle as you felt one sliding down your cheek, and the need to sniffle build up in your nose. You sat up, wiping your eyes as you pulled on your old jacket from the chair beside your bed, and turned to Sam, who was sitting on his own bed, his laptop sitting on his knee.

“I’m heading out.” You said curtly, and Sam’s face turned to one of concern as he sat up a little, you took note that Dean didn’t even look at you.

“Okay, do you want me to come with you?” Sam asked, smiling gently at you as you shook your head, you could feel the tears building up again and all you wanted to do was leave. “N-no, Sam. That’s- that’s okay. See you later.” You stammered, your voice breaking a few times as you bolted from the room, slamming the door shut behind you.

Dean’s POV

Dean ran a hand through his hair as he heard the slam of the door, sighing softly, suddenly he felt a sharp jab to his shoulder. “You’re a real ass, you know that, Dean?” Sam barked, glaring angrily down at his older brother. “I mean, God, all you do to Y/N is insult them, or belittle them in some way, it’s a daily thing! I can’t even imagine what that’s doing to their self-esteem, to have somebody they love so much acting like that towards them? Oh, my God, man! Is it that hard to just be nice? I mean-”

“Y/N loves me?” Dean cut his brother off, sitting up on the bed, his heart suddenly racing in his chest. Sam stared at him incredulously, his mouth fumbling for something to say as he attempted to make up a response to his brother’s question.

“Jesus, Dean! Yes! They love you! They’ve loved you for four years, now, I mean, how they still do is beyond me considering the way you’ve treated them!” He exclaimed, and Dean felt his heart sink. “Shit.” was all he could muster as he ran his hand over his mouth and let the weight of what his brother had told him sit in his brain.

“Yeah, shit’s damn right!” Sam scolded him, shaking his head like a disappointed mother.

Before Dean could think, he was pulling his jacket on and leaving the room. Sam didn’t protest.

“Y/N!” He yelled down the hall, but it was no use. You’d already left the motel. He mentally yelled at himself as he pulled the door of the old place open, and stepped out onto the empty street beside it.

Okay, Dean, think. We’d be better off searching for them by car, they couldn’t have gotten that far in 5 minutes, right?

He nodded to himself as he pulled the driver’s side door open and sat tensely in the seat, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

“Damn it, Y/N, where are you?” He muttered to himself as he drove around the block.

He thought back on his conversation with Sam. Did Dean love you?

Of course he did. But he could never tell you, you meant far too much to him, even if he didn’t want to admit it, and loving you would put a target on your back for every demon and angel and monster that had it out for him. He already had Sam to worry about, why did he need to worry about you, too? So he pushed you away, he decided that if you thought he hated you, you’d eventually lose interest, but instead you did everything to try and prove yourself to him, even putting yourself in harm’s way if it meant that he was safe, which Dean, of course, berated you for afterwards. The worst part of it was, you rarely said anything back to him, and on the days that you did he knew he’d hit a nerve, so he kept pushing and pushing until… well, until something snapped in you. Until the dam broke and you screamed and you cried and you argued and you left.

Dean never would have thought that he’d be the one to break. That he’d be the one chasing you down to make you come back, to show you how much he loved you.

“Holy shit!” Dean skidded the impala to a halt as he came face to face with your shocked figure through the car window. Your eyes were wide as you stared at him, you were clutching your chest and your entire body was soaked with rain, Dean could tell you were shivering.

Suddenly, it seemed that your brain snapped into action, you stumbled onto the pavement before you and began walking down the street. Dean quickly pulled into a parking space and threw himself out of the car, beginning to catch up with you down the dark street.

Your POV

“Go away, Dean!” You called behind you, but not speeding up your pace.

You could hear Dean’s heavy boots colliding with the wet ground as he caught up with you, placing a firm hand on your shoulder as he forced you to stop, you turned towards him, shoving his large hand off you with a grunt.

“I said go away, alright? Leave me alone!” You shouted, and Dean gave you what looked like sad puppy eyes. This was the first time you’d ever seen him give you such a soft look, and you honestly didn’t know what to say as you felt tears run down your already red cheeks.

“Y/N, I’m sorry.”

His words shocked you, but that shock quickly turned to anger as you scoffed angrily. 

“Sorry? ‘Sorry’ doesn’t even begin to describe the things you should be saying to me after the way you’ve been treating me these past years, Dean! After the crap I’ve had to put up with from you, after I convinced myself that I deserved every insult you’ve thrown at me,” You stepped closer to him, hitting his chest roughly with every sentence, “And yet, even after all these years I still love you, Dean! I still love you and your stupid smile and your obsession with mullet rock, and your stupid car, and- and- and-” You slammed your fist into his chest as you broke down, but it barely seemed to affect the man in front of you as you felt him pull you into a tight hug. What hurt him more than your fist was the sound of your cracked and broken sobs as you clung to him, even after everything he’d done to you, you still let him comfort you.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you so much, I just wanted to protect you from this life, I thought if I pushed you away you’d be safer… I thought you had to leave to be okay, I’m so, so sorry… I never even thought about how I’d affected you.” He spoke into your hair as he left soft kisses on it and rocked you slowly on your feet. You didn’t reply for a moment, only sobbing harder into his shirt.

“I love you, Dean, I’m already a part of this stupid life we have, you can’t take that away from me, no matter how hard you try. I can take care of myself! I’m never going to leave you, Dean, I can’t.” You murmured softly, moving to stare up into his glassy green eyes.

Dean pulled you closer to him, meeting his lips with yours as he cupped your face, you could feel rain running down your back and hair but you didn’t care, all you could focus on at that moment was Dean Winchester.

“I love you, Y/N. I’m going to protect you, just… not like this.” 

And you smiled, your first genuine smile at Dean for years as you murmured “That sounds like a plan, then, Dean.”

[sunriseverse]

fic author interview

tagged by @killerandhealerqueen (thank you!!!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

374 total, as of right now. a good 200 of those are pacific rim fanfics, of which at least 70% are promptfills, because i used to be a fairly heavy promptfic writer.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

currently, exactly 1,309,300 words, but this will definitely grow—i tend to write between 150k-250k per year, depending on how things go (last year i hit an all-time high at 300k). i've written more total, but that's the amount that i've written since 2017 and not deleted.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

let's see..... 1. strike it through (start again) (938) 2. do you feel the hunger (does it howl inside?) (634) 3. a love that echoes through the distance (484) 4. strokes of love (449) 5. The Trials and Tribulations of One Hermann Gottlieb, PhD (407) honestly i am a little annoyed with my top four fics because they've been in my top four since, like, 2022 when i posted them, and i have written so many better fics since then!!!! unfortunately my better fics are also for tiny fandoms so they stay there at the top </3

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

always! even if it's just a simple "thanks for the comment, i'm glad you liked it!" because comments mean so much to me and i want commenters to know that.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I loved, I loved (I lost) i think? it's funny, because i love writing angst, but i rarely write things with a solidly unhappy ending—i almost always at least leave something on a hopeful note. no idea how this fic holds up because i wrote it ages ago now and my writing skills have definitely improved.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

what qualifies as "happiest"? i think this really varies from person to person. that said, my personal favourite ending of things i've written recently would have to be in nie huaisang and the no good, very bad day, which ends with 1. jin guangshan's head being cut off, and 2. poor huaisang fainting, just because i think it's hilarious as hell.

7. Do you write crossovers?

not really—i used to, but these days, i tend to write fusions more. i just don't particularly feel the drive for characters from different media to meet each other, and prefer to blend settings or worldbuilding instead. that said, i would like to write a zmyx/dmbj crossover, because i think a dmbj door would be wicked.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not as much since i switched to mainly posting on ao3, but i used to, yeah. most of it was very repetitive and boring and unimaginative, but a while back someone called me a f*g hag for writing an entirely sfw fic and accused me of getting off to gay male sex and i was just sat there like goddamn. none of what you said is even close to the mark. i deleted it (it was anon on ffnet, and thankfully i had my settings configured to let me delete anon comments), but i do have a screenshot saved somewhere, i think, just because it was so absurd.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

ehhhhh? not really?? this is complicated because like, i have written a few fics with smut, but i wouldn't really say i write smut. when i have written it it's almost always been very vague, for a variety of reasons, and in service of the narrative. i'm just not particularly interested in smut, and don't read it, either.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge, but i would hope that if it were to happen, my readers would let me know. i have a specific line in my ao3 bio that states that if my works are found anywhere but on my ao3, tumblr, or ffnet, then it's stolen and reposted without my permission to cover my bases.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i had someone ask if they could translate a fic of mine years ago, but as far as i'm aware nothing came of it—i was very honoured, though!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have! only one traditionally co-written, but it was an interesting experience. i'm not certain i could do it again, just because it requires a lot of coordination and effort.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

pingpangxie/tiesanjiao (romantic)...............they have set up an entire shopping mall in my mind, and i adore them deeply.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i don't think i have any wips on ao3 that i really want to complete, but i guess if we consider all my wips, the sun telling the same lies about how beautiful the world is, which is my sunrise sha hai parallel. i've been tinkering with the outline for a bit now, but i have yet to actually start writing it, but i care about it so much and want it to be written so badly, because there's so many fun things in both worldbuilding and canon changes that i've got prepared.

15. What are your writing strengths?

i'm a very descriptive writer! people have told me that my writing is very immersive because of this, and it makes me very happy, because i love describing things. also, not something most people comment on, but i love putting layers of meaning into every writing choice i make—especially lately, my writing is all blue curtains, as it were.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

i have been known to love a massive paragraph, alas. my record so far is a 500+ word paragraph. i only would say it's a weakness because sometimes it can get hard to remember the point of the paragraph, but i'm skilled enough that i usually do fine.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

depends; if i speak the language, then maybe, but usually, i write dialogue in english......................but that said, all the dialogue i write for cdramas/cnovels is technically written in chinese in my mind and then translated into english in my writing, which is why sometimes i'll make references to the phrasing that only works when you consider the chinese version of what is said.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

on ao3, warriors! this is probably the first fandom i ever write anything for, actually, but anything i wrote pre-2016 either only exists in hard copy, or has been deleted.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

i have so many baihe ships i want to write for but i have yet to finish a single goddamn novel so unfortunately i can't actually do that. however i am planning on doing a baihe writing challenge for march since it's my birth month, so hopefully i'll get at least some writing done in that vein (it'll probably be yunze chuan and shuang jing heavy since those are the things i've actually finished, but i'd like to write something for fgep, ruzhui, etc).

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written

not a fanfic, but a series: sunrise ‘verse! if i had to choose an individual fic i'd probably struggle a lot, i like so many of them! so i'm putting a series here :) this is my proudest achievement and my favourite world i've come up with. i have so much lore behind this and so many things i want to do with this, and it's a series i've done a lot of experimental things with and plan to do more experimental things in the future, and i think it's really pushed me as a writer.

@mhaccunoval @xueyang @mejomonster @mispronouncing-michaelangelo @vaynglories and anyone else who wants to! (no pressure!!)

[chuuyrr]

Love baby fushiguro and Toji!!!

Can I request Baby! Reader having a family day with Toji and Megumi plz!!! (This is after scarlet resurrected Toji). Also, can you add wholesome moments between Toji and Megumi? I know Toji loves his baby y/n, but Megumi is his son too, and he loves him also! (right?😅)

scarlet witch! baby fushiguro! reader spends time with toji, megumi & tsumiki

jujutsu kaisen x reader

masterlist of the series

warning(s): possible manga/anime spoilers for jjk, gojo kinda passive-aggresive towards to toji at the end

honestly anon same HAHSHS i haven't written any toji and scarlet baby fushiguro in a long while, this request makes me so happy, enjoy <3

(p.s. i added tsumiki, i hope you don't mind because she's technically his child too, what's a family day when you're not complete after all! also im so sorry about the end being somewhat of an angst? not really but, if you squint your eyes then it kinda is 👁💧👄💧👁)

ever since you brought toji back with your wiggly-woos magic, he's been dead set on mending his relationships with the children he left behind. though toji specifically asked gojo to look after you, he was actually jealous to find out that you call gojo your daddy now and acknowledge him as your parental figure. not only that, but megumi and tsumiki barely recognizes him because he left all of you at such a young age.

toji could only think of one thing to become closer with his children and that was to hold a family day. at first, megumi didn't insist on going nor bringing tsumiki along because he didn't want anything to do with the father who left all of you behind and tried to sell you and him to the fucking zenins, but he was eventually convinced by you and your persistence. megumi could never resist his youngest sibling.

honestly, you were the only one that made things less awkward and tension in the atmosphere less heavy. you were oblivious toji's struggle to bond with the three of you and how megumi and tsumiki were so distant around him. though it saddened him, it was understandable.

anyways, toji decided to bring the three of you to wherever you liked. for instance, you and tsumiki headed to a clothing store and dragged the two boys. toji and megumi did find it cute when you would grab hair clips, headbands and sunglasses from the isles, putting it on them while you and tsumiki giggled and took pictures with her phone.

your favorite photo from tsumiki's phone would have to be that one picture. toji and megumi both had butterfly clips on their hair and funky shades over their eyes. even though megumi was making an awkward peace sign pose with toji's arm draped around his shoulder, you could definitely see a smile on his face.

toji ended up paying for the cute hair accessories and clothes that you and your tsumiki-nee tried on and loved. he even carried the paper bags by himself despite megumi insisting to help him.

toji, megumi and tsumiki took turns carrying you whenever you got tired from walking. even with the amount of paper bags on toji's hands, he will still carry you and refused to let tsumiki and megumi take the bags from him.

after shopping, you dragged the three of them to the restaurant wherein gojo would take you and megumi. the four of you ate lunch just like a family, just like it was supposed to be from the start. toji ended up gazing at each and every single one of you while you guys ate, especially you. you were his second chance, erm—third chance, yet he blew it away.

you weren't a messy eater, but whenever you got sauce or bits of food on your face, toji would wipe it with a napkin and chuckle before muttering "cute" at you.

the next place you fushiguros went to was an arcade. you went to ride one of those kiddie train rides and refused to go without either of them, so toji had to threaten the staff in charge to let them on with you and it worked. toji nearly broke the ride because he was too heavy and big to fit in with you in the train cart, but hey at least you were smiling.

"but sir, only your youngest can go on this ri—the staff tried to reason with toji but failed miserably.

toji's eyes held a stern and atrocious look with an evident threat in his tone, "we're accompanying my kid. let us on that ride or else."

"..okay, you three can go on with her." the staff gulped, eyes dilating in fear.

you also got to ride a carousel, it was surprising to see toji uncharacteristically act just like gojo. he was snapping pictures of you waving at him and as you rode it with tsumiki and megumi accompanying you. toji would wave back as well.

and speaking of winning prizes, toji was dead set on getting you all of the things you wanted. you wanted that cat plush from the claw machine even though you already have an army of stuffed animals in your bedroom? he's winning you that. however, the games were obviously rigged so it was difficult. megumi noticed toji's struggle so much to toji and tsumiki's surprise, he helped him win the prize for you.

toji and megumi ended up tagging up in each and every game you guys came across next. from skeeball, basketball to shooting zombies games, they played it all. you and tsumiki were both in awe at their determination, but mostly towards their interactions. this was the first time you had seen megumi act the same way he usually does to you to toji.

"holy crap, we won!"

toji's eyes widened, happiness filling his lungs as he turned to megumi.

"we did it!"

you and tsumiki smiled, giggling to yourselves as toji and megumi chest-bumped each other in the moment.

"look at them go tsumiki-nee." you whispered to your older sister, tugging the hem of her sweater.

tsumiki winked at you, waving her phone. "i know, i already took a photo of them."

after a long day of eating, shopping and playing. it was already evening. you were so tired that your eyes began to droop while you were walking. just as megumi was about to carry you, toji had beaten him to it and insisted that he'll carry you instead. you ended up falling asleep in toji's arms, your cheek was pressed against the crook of his shoulder with your tiny arms wrapped around his neck.

"i got her, don't worry kiddo." toji grinned at megumi, patting his shoulder as he carried your sleeping figure in his embrace.

"aww, look at [name]. she's fast asleep already." tsumiki pointed out, eyes sparkling at how adorable your sleeping face was.

"heh, it's been so long since i carried [name] and megumi like this." toji muttered audibly, smiling down at you all snuggled up in his embrace.

"thank you for today.. dad." toji's eyes widened in surprise as he stared at tsumiki. "i had fun and i'm sure [name] and megumi did too, right?"

tsumiki draped an arm around megumi who adverted his gaze away. "yeah." he uttered.

"heh, i'm glad." toji reached his hand out towards the two, each giving them a ruffle on the hair. "i'll fetch you guys home, okay?"

toji went to fetch tsumiki to her household, megumi to his dorm at jujutsu high and finally you to gojo's home. even though you were aware that toji is your biological father, you still lived with the limitless sorcerer who looked after you when toji left and died. though toji would love to have you, tsumiki and megumi live in his new home, he didn't want to force any of his children to do so.

toji was very much reluctant to let you go and give you back to gojo who was waiting for you at the front of the house after a long day. in fact, he didn't want the day to end, there was still so many things he wanted to do with his children. he knows he still had a long way to go if really wanted to mend the relationships toji abandoned and broke in the past. a day wasn't enough to fix things.

"wow, kikufuku's tired." gojo commented, taking you from toji's arms, smiling in relief to see you home.

"yeah, we did a lot of things today and don't worry, i didn't lose her and she has zero injuries." toji said, shoveling his hands in the pocket of his pants.

"thanks for bringing [name] home safe." gojo muttered, also taking the paper bags of the things toji bought you and the prizes he won you. "and for treating her today, along with megumi and tsumiki."

"no, i should be thanking you. thank you for allowing me to take her out today. her and the kids." toji adverted his gaze from the limitless sorcerer. "i hope you don't mind me doing this at least a few times in a month."

"i don't, no worries. as long as [name] wants that and you treat her like the daughter she is to you." gojo managed a smile, his expression darkening into a stern one at his last sentence. "just don't break her heart again. don't waste the second chance [name] gave you with her chaos magic or else."

"i won't and i promise that. i'll try to be better this time."

[kalpasio]

HELLO???

masterlist masterlist 2 request list

Requests: Kalpas

if you would be ok with me writing your ideas for Kalpas, I'm open to asks!

update: I'm still fine with taking asks! but!! at this point I have a couple and it will take me more than a month to get to any new ones so please just be aware it'll take me some time!

I will always take asks about your headcannons or my own, but any longer works are written on a whim. I do not control the writing, I merely write until my wrist falls off and hope that the words make a complete sentence.

Genuinely my interests in a character will change overnight, you would not believe the wip pile I have because my brain suddenly decides it hates the character it was obsessed with 2 hours ago

A lot of my works are just a bunch of small hcs or scenarios I have thought of or seen smashed together so if you send me hcs or I post some in response to an ask I will always try to link those to the work. I want to make sure people get credit for their ideas, even if they're on anon.

Feel free to call me Zaria or Zari (or Tamale if you're coming from ao3)

Or whatever really, so long as I can tell you're referring to me

she/her/they doesn't bother me either way

I'm a college student who enjoys writing in my free time (I know this is like code for "I'm a bad writer with 2 stories and then I drop off the grid" but I promise I genuinely write for stress relief, and I am very stressed at school so we'll be good!)

I mostly write fluff and angst x reader

As of now, I don't think I'll be writing nsfw mostly because my ace ass hasn't even been in a relationship and I want to become more comfortable with writing in general first.

That being said! I'm 100% here for short nsfw headcannons or asks so please minors DNI. If I do end up writing any smut it'll probably end up on ao3, though I will post a link here.

Speaking of asks

Asks/not-requests

If you just wanna post something, that's chill

If you want my thoughts on something, that's chill

If you wanna ask questions or talk about something I've written, that's chill

I'm not comfortable writing for or talking about minors, though there are a few characters I am ok with writing for if they're aged up (Damian Wayne or certain Persona characters off the top of my head)

Non-con is a hard no. Yandere is almost always a no. Dub-con is on thin fucking ice and usually depends on a whole lot of things.

Sometimes Tumblr eats asks!! If you think you sent something that was totally reasonable and I don't respond to it in like a couple weeks, try sending it again!

(at the end of the day, if you send something I'm not comfortable with, I'll let you know, or in extreme cases I just won't respond, so don't stress about it too much!)

Honestly I'm going to be writing either way, and I really just want to get my stories out on the odd chance someone has the same interest. Some of these stories are kinda niche or the reader has traits that I personally have or want for them. If someone enjoys them, great! If it's not your cup of tea, that's fine too! They'll be here until Tumblr gets sold off for the 57th time and loses so much money the shoestring holding it together falls apart.

Sorry for the super long post, List of games I've played below, it's even longer don't even look at it.

Fire Emblem:

Sacred Stones (ask me about Boston Grandma)

Awakening (If Camilla is dragon mommy, Cherche is dragon mom and I love her more)

Fates (Oh please don't start a fight)

Three Houses (oh please don't start a fight)

Like half of Radiant Dawn (Thank you Vimm's lair)

Heroes (You can always tell when Cuboon draws the art)

Overwatch (I have yet to play 2 and I'm not sure I want to)

Honkai Impact (HoS has modified my mind and now she and the flame chasers own me)

I am also fine with writing for APHO! I actually have a story in the works for the MC (man's got like 20 names)

Genshin Impact (Ohhh I could make a bonfire from this wip pile)

Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild (I have like four other loz games and just haven't played them. Thank you Vimm's lair)

Kid Icarus (I used to have the biggest crush on Dark Pit when I was younger hhhh)

Borderlands 3 (2 makes me so motion sick)

Persona 4 Golden (now with graphics!)

Persona 5 (Not Royal, I'll play it when it comes to pc)

Hollow Knight (I'm not sure how comfortable I am writing this, but I love the game to bits)

Tekken 7 (I have-no joke-17 hours on this game but I am more than willing to read the wiki for some of these characters)

Valkyria Chronicles 4 (I might have to replay it)

Transistor (bought it for the ost, stayed for the gameplay)

Bastion (bought it because of Transistor, stayed for the gameplay and ost)

I love supergiant Darren Korb, I own Hades but have not played it because I know I'll be obsessed for like a month

Devil May Cry 5 (I haven't played the previous games, do with that what you will)

Anime:

In advance, I watched these like almost a decade ago so I might be a bit rusty. Most of them I really care for though, and I'll take recommendations!

Ouran High School Host Club (I'm so sorry)

Soul Eater (I can't remember if I ever finished this...uhhhh)

Fruits Basket (the like 90's version, not the more recent one. Hatsuharu ruined my life tho)

Sailor Moon (Sailor Jupiter my beloved)

Fullmetal Alchemist (Fu Hua killed Meas Hughes)

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood (I get these two mixed up, I should rewatch them both, right?)

One Piece (I don't think I got past episode 200, I will be so inaccurate)

RWBY (If you count this, I think I'm behind by a season)

I am so terribly sorry if you read through all of that. If I have something that's not listed, feel free to ask anyway! I really like making horrible guesses about characters and then actually seeing them in their game or show and finding out how inaccurate I was (half the time my guess is just "oough ladie")

[sparrowmoth]

Ahhh thank you fir answering my ask firstly youre lovely and inspiring

I'm too scared to talk to you unanoned

To answer your question I'm thinking either something having to do with Jay or something with sea three I tend to focus on angst/hurt&comfort (I have several wips in the works including a Jay novel but I'm stuck atm so I thought maybe something different woukd help jostle the imagination and creativity)

Hi again, Anon! 🥰 Aww, of course! Thank you so much for the kind words, you’re very sweet. 🥰💖 If you’re more comfy on Anon, that’s totally fine! Please know you’re more than welcome to talk to me off Anon, too, though, if ever you want to.

Now, as for fic stuff, let’s seeee… I haven’t written much with the Sea Three (not that I don't love them, I just have Core Four tunnel vision lol), but Jay’s one of my absolute favourite characters ever so I’m sure I can rustle up some Jay-centric ideas for you! Hmmmm…

I’ve been thinking a lot about Aladdin so we’ll start there and see where it goes:

1. Aladdin’s magic carpet is locked up in the museum, which is… troubling given that the carpet seems to be alive and sentient to some degree. It would be really interesting if, while still new in Auradon, Jay stole the carpet from the museum with the intent of just taking it for a joyride for a few hours, only to realize that the carpet actually has a personality, which makes him reluctant to see the carpet “imprisoned” again.

The stakes are high, though. If security realizes the carpet is gone and Jay gets caught with it, he could risk getting sent back to the Isle. How much is he willing to risk for a magical rug?

2. A vague AU concept that’s been living up in the attic of my brain is an Anastasia-style plot where the Core Four catch wind of a story about a “stolen prince” from long ago who would be exactly Jay’s age in the present. They plan to con Aladdin and Jasmine into thinking Jay’s their long lost son just long enough to rob the palace blind and take off.

The only problem is… Jay really likes the life he’s been invited into, even if it’s a lie. He likes it so much, in fact, that the others are starting to wonder if he believes he might actually be the “stolen prince.” But is he?

3. I can’t for the life of me find the posts I’ve written about this atm, but I’d die to read any kind of Jay and Rajah interactions because I just think their dynamic would be so precious. Give Jay an emotional support tiger 2K22! Who even needs a plot, I just want to see Jay hiding his face in Rajah’s side, trying to muffle his sobs because he had a nightmare and he doesn’t want anyone to have to deal with that, but Rajah is like an uncle to him and he just purrs and nuzzles Jay and licks his head like he’s a cub, which totally messes up Jay’s hair but it makes him laugh a bit so totally worth it. Just… RAJAH AND JAY, I’m so passionate about them djakgjksdgjksd.

4. As much as I love protective!Jay and Jay priding himself in being the muscle of the gang, I feel like we need more of Jay being protected and taken care of. One thing my mind always goes back to is that scene in Book 2, Return to the Isle of the Lost (if I recall correctly) where Chad punches Jay and knocks him right to the ground, but Jay doesn’t fight back. He gets a black eye from it, but he just brushes it off when someone notices.

Basically, I want to see Jay getting bullied because not everyone on the tourney team is thrilled that this new kid from the Isle is showing them up on the field. Jay knows he could take them all bare-handed in a fair fight, but he’s trying to play by Auradon rules, so he keeps his head down and always comes up with some excuse for what happened when his friends ask questions.

Jay knows that letting this all happen is the only way to protect his gang because the second he throws a punch back, even to defend himself, he risks them all getting sent back, but when the others find out what’s going on, they aren’t too happy about it…

5. And finally, this is something inspired by a scene in the first graphic novel (I have a scan posted somewhere around here), but I think a lot about young Jay growing up on the Isle, having to watch as his father fawns over Iago and makes sure the parrot always has a good bite of food off his plate while Jay is left to provide for himself by stealing.

I can imagine he resents Iago a lot and even more so for all the times Iago would surely tattle-tale on him, like if Jay broke a plate or snuck a few coins from the Junk Shop’s till, that sort of thing.

Some parrots can be quite jealous, so I can imagine Iago attacking little Jay when Jafar’s not looking and then Jay getting in trouble for “provoking” Iago. Is there a plot in here somewhere? No idea, but I think it’s interesting ajdkgjksdjgkds

Anyway, I hope that helps!! Feel free to drop by my ask box anytime, and if you end up writing something inspired by one of my rambles, please don’t be shy to share, if you’d like! I’d love to read it! 💖💖

[jebblyphishes]

Feathers & Bells (Part 1 of 3?)

Thanks for the idea Angst Anon!

Poly Asmodeus / Y/N They/Them / Fizzarolli. SFW-ish. Someone getting shot.

It was around noon when Asmodeus gave a quiet mumble and almost rolled onto his side in the bed. His sleep fogged brain clearing just long enough to remind him that he had two much smaller people sharing it with him. Fizzarolli almost made some absurd squeak when the giant rolled onto him in the past. He'd then blow a raspberry like he was deflating before allowing himself to be picked up and checked for 'squish' injuries. Y/N hadn't been rolled on yet, but Asmodeus figured they'd be pretty traumatised the first few times. The luminescence of his neon green eyes was duller than usual, and his feathers stuck out oddly. He sat up and looked to the side where his two favourite people were with a yawn. "Well, well, don't you two look comfy?"

Fizzarolli was blissed out in Y/N's lap, the tip of the imp's tongue sticking out ever so slightly; his eyes were half-lidded and glazed over. And all because of Y/N's fingers massaging around the base of his horns. Asmodeus was always so pleased when the imp wasn't so self-conscious about the stumps leftover from his accident. When Fizzarolli was happy, Asmodeus was happy, which kept everyone else happy. "He was like a bag of snakes earlier, spaghetti limbs all over, whining that you weren't awake yet - fucking horny."

"Sooo," the demon grinned and rested his chin on his hand. "Just like every day then?" He knew that Fizzarolli was still amped up from last nights show - it had been a full house, and the acts were particularly fantastic. It had taken some effort to settle him down to sleep, and that was only after he'd been fucked four different ways. His large index finger reached down to wipe at the drool beginning to escape the imp's mouth, and he chuckled at the grumbling it caused. "I swear you give him an aneurism every time you massage his head like that."

This was how most of their days started; Asmodeus, the last one to wake up, Fizzarolli either up to no good or comatose under Y/N's fingers. If the Lust Prince was lucky, all three of them would get off at least once before breakfast.

xxx

"Ozzie!" Y/N called as they flitted up to his level, their wings working hard to hover in place until the other held his hand up for them to rest on. "Don't forget you have a meeting today, but also that you need to check progress in the factory... and new bells for Fizz - his... went missing?" They smiled sweetly at him, feigning innocence that they didn't know what was happening to the bells on Fizzarolli's hat.

His tailfeather's swayed, and he prodded at one of Y/N's horns, just hard enough for them to sway a little, "Stop picking on Fizzy. Give him back his bells, or I'll have to do something about it~."

They grabbed his finger in both their hands and put the tip in their mouth, licking the digit suggestively and nipping hard enough to sting, "Then do something about it, or are you chicken?" The two looked at one another, the air between them becoming thick as sexual tension filled it. Then, slowly, very slowly, something raised in their peripheral and when they turned, Fizz was at their level, legs extended, arms crossed and an unimpressed pout on his freshly made-up face. "Um... Can you be helped, Fizzy-pop?"

"Yeah," he said flatly, "You can stop eye-fucking my sugar daddy and let him go to work so he can get me some bells." He then shook his head, the tails of his hat flying about but made no sound, "I know it's you - I don't know how or when or why - but I'm onto you!"

"I'd rather you be in me." With that said, they pounced forward to kiss all three of Asmodeus's faces and then yelped as the jester wrapped them up in his arms and retracted his legs until they were at the Prince's feet.

Asmodeus snorted at their antics - they both made him laugh. Then, giving them a little wave, he headed out, "Don't misbehave too much without me, save some of that lust for me~."

As if they would ever run out - they had plans for their giant lover and only a few hours to prepare. The two giggled and d as they got to work, occasionally distracted by one another, stopping for biting kisses and teasing hands. They hadn't always liked each other. When Asmodeus first decided he liked the way Y/N 'tasted' and began flirting with them, Fizzarolli hadn't minded. It was when Y/N would make the demon laugh that the imp felt threatened.

Asmodeus fed off lust and feelings associated with it, but there were only a few people who could make him laugh honestly, and it really was intoxicating to be the cause of it. But, despite the jester's frosty attitude toward them, Y/N managed to melt his resistance just enough to worm their way into his graces. They made a hell of a tag team, especially when satisfying Asmodeus.

There was the right mix of desire and trust; it was spicy and sometimes chaotic, but they loved the dynamic and planned to enjoy it whilst they could. Neither one of them would ever outlive the Embodiment of Lust, and one day, Asmodeus would make them leave to protect himself.

xxx

"There we go," Y/N shook the hat and grinned as it jungled merrily, "All fixed!"

Fizzarolli snatched it back and shoved it on his head, making sure to secure it so it wouldn't fall off and humiliate him in front of the crown later. "What are you doing with the bells you steal?" His tail flicked back and forth as his hands landed on his hips and his eyes narrowed, "You're selling them to those sickos that buy my merch, right? Ugh, I bet they string them up to their crusty nutsacks - I better get a cut of what you're making!"

The face he pulled and the comment made them snort, and they let their own tail sway, much smoother than the irritated wagging of the other. "Even if I were stealing them - which I'm not - I wouldn't encourage your already fucked up fanbase like that." They glanced up to their other side, watching as Asmodeus read through another contract, looking bored out of his mind and very much in need of distraction. They looked back at Fizzarolli, who was still suspicious and had the audacity to count all of the gold bells on his collar, checking for missing ones, before following their queue to look up.

Oh, the Prince was tense. Sharing a mischievous glance, the two moved into action. Finding their own ways up onto opposite shoulders and nuzzling into Asmodeus's neck and cheeks. "I'm busy... can it wait just a little longer?"

"But I want that big, fat cock in me, Ozzie," Fizzarolli let his sharp teeth pull lightly at the downy feathers of the other's throat, "Or if you don't wanna make a mess of yourself, you can watch us go at it."

Y/N hopped off his shoulder and hovered down to his chest, settling there and pushing their fingers into the plush cleavage to massage, "Come on, let us play with you, Oz~."

They were going to be the death of him. "Fine, Fine." He put down his pen and decided to tire them out so they would leave him in peace, "C'mere, honey, give me some sugar." Y/N stuck their tongue out at Fizzarolli and rushed up to kiss Asmodeus - but instead of fiery kisses, a loud band echoed into the lounge, and Y/N fell against the giant's shoulder with a sharp gasp.

"What the fuck?!" They heard the imp growl before feeling themselves set down on the stage they had been sitting close to.

"Just a moment, honey, We'll be right back" His words sounded sweet to Y/N's ears, but the atmosphere in the empty club changed; it became heavy and oppressive as anger rolled off the Prince.

It was just a gunshot wound. It wasn't like it would do more than hurt like a bitch and maybe leave a scar. Demon's shot each other all the time for shits and giggles; it's not like They or Fizzarolli, or Asmodeus should be worried... this felt bad though.

Worse than it should.

[duskwood-legacies]

🖤✨🧁🥺🌧️👀😭

Darkness×MC

Or Phil×MC

Either it okay

Skating on (under) the Rain

Hello dear Anon! Thank you a lot for participating in this little special💕 I hope this is to your liking! It's not my best story and it's probably a bit confusing, but the scene is hopefully making up for it a bit🌿🤭

•Pairing: Darkness x MC

•Genre: Fluff, slight mention of Angst

•Trigger Warnings: None

-------

Hearts which are deemed to be painted in dark colors and contrasts are told to be stayed away from. However, paint over a wall is only supposed to hide the original color under it. Right?

Four blades and two bodies swung over the ice, lost in melodies and the oh so gentle presence of the hearts black and white. Darkness led MC over the ice with unassumed grace and MC followed with assumed curiosity and boldness.

Only those who dared to glance close notice how neither heart is black or white, but rather grey like the sky above.

The first rain fell. Both hearts were too carried away with each other, refusing to acknowledge anything around.

On an attempt to catch control over their moves, MC stumbled and was caught with heavenly elegance. If there were people observing the young lovers, they wouldn't have noticed the mistake. Heartfelt laughter errupted from Darkness, a sound sweet as a cupcake in MC's ears.

A bang. Loudly booming noises were echoed by the trees around. Fireworks lit up the sky, colorful sparks chasing away the dark of night. New Years has begun.

The eyes of the two hearts went into the sky, their bodies gravitating closer. The rain still poured, replacing the pleading faces and running tears from the devastation and despair only mere hours before.

The weather was odd, just like the couple always gets told they are. Odd. Odd. You shouldn't be together. You don't fit. Neither does the rain in winter and yet it is still here, still falling.

Darkness lifted MC, pirouetting her in the air. A film of water gathered on the ice, their blades still cutting through bravely.

MC landed back on the ice with slight clumsiness, clinging onto Darkness, who held her just as tight as to not let her fall.

The two grey hearts kept their dance on top of the rain-covered ice on as long as the fireworks encouraged them. Together, the heavy tears drawn out by the negative voices disappeared.

Together, black and white became grey, only the two of them truly seeing behind the colors and contrasts on the surface. Black lightened up and became at ease, white allowed to darken and let their mistakes seep through the cracks of the brightness, allowing them to become more true to themselves.

Together, MC and Darkness were at their best.

[wikluk]

Okay so neither of the women had babies til 29 it seems so that's a bit of a gap for the assumed time period. So loss and hard time getting pregnant on either side and Pepa refuses to talk to Bruno about visions and Julieta says it'll happen when it happens but eventually going to Bruno anyway and asking what he sees of her future, their future, their family's future. Bruno who doesn't want to but at the same time assumes like she does that it's just a thing that'll happen when it happens what's the harm. For him seeing that any successful pregnancies won't happen unless in pairs. Every pregnancy that goes to term has a pair. "Twins?" "No, both of you." Problem being, Bruno and Julieta both realize by the end of his vision, he sees 3 live babies for both of them, but 4 paired pregnancies. Both realizing that they don't know which pregnancies will both come to term, and which one will leave one of them suffering watching the other with a baby they should have as well. Bruno internalizing it, and Julieta making him swear not to say anything about it, it's her burden to bear, not his. She made him look to see. Julieta then being unsure what to even begin to pray about then, because does she pray to ease her own pain, or to ease her sisters? How can you pray for a healthy, safe pregnancy knowing that you might inadvertently be praying the other's fails? How do you celebrate a pregnancy announcement then if it's not immediately followed by another. (I am the ninja anon, I show up, bring great angst, and poof away only to reappear immediately to bring more angst lets be fair.)

Four paired pregnancy - Isabela&Dolores and Mirabel&Camilo, which leaves us with Pepa losing babe when Julieta had Luisa and Julieta losing hers when Pepa had Antonio. Right?

It's honestly heartbreaking, because Julieta knowing about this vision would know the moment she learns she's pregnant for the fourth time that this one isn't going to last. Imagine grieving a miscarriage/stillborn that hasn't happened yet. God, that's devastating.

(also yeah, please, sign urself as a ninja anon, that's our tag now lmao)

[heybeybey]

and it was your heart on the line

Rating: Explicit

Genre: Angst/Romance

Pairing: Rivetra | Levi x Petra

Word Count: 8,706

Summary: Turns out, it wasn't a request. It was an order. If he denies again, then it's an ultimatum. Pressured to continue the Ackerman line, Levi is forced to choose between his commitment to giving meaning to his comrades' deaths or sacrificing the future of the woman who have always been devoted to him.

(Anon Ask | AO3 Link)

(It's also Smutty Saturday so here, have smut + ANGST. MOSTLY ANGST THO)

It's been a month since he learned about his true relation to Kenny.

Two weeks since he, Hange and Erwin traced his Ackerman ancestry.

A week since they found out what his last name means and how inhuman his strength truly is.

And two days since he received that fucking memo.

Captain Levi Ackerman,

We were recently made aware of the extent of your capabilities. After much discussion in the court, we believe that you will be doing humanity a great service by continuing the Ackerman line.

We look forward to your cooperation.

A great service his ass.

A few days ago, he, Erwin and Hange found out that the Ackerman line used to be the bodyguards of the royal family in the past and that the reason why they were so skilled is because they are titans in human form. They were then persecuted for shit knows what and the whole clan scattered throughout the walls in the past hundred years.

It also turns out that this ability is accessible to all Ackermans. They haven't found out if it's automatically passed down but Levi noted that there was a time when he felt something jolt in him when faced in a life or death situation (which was almost a daily basis for him back in the Underground).

Now, they want to reinstate the line to help the military progress.

The way Levi sees it, the government basically wants him to breed as if he's a cow in a nobleman's farm.

Levi ignores the memo for the next few days and when they sent a follow up for his reply, he didn't hesitate in telling them to fuck off. That's when things went south.

Turns out, it wasn't a request. It was an order. If he denies again, then it's an ultimatum.

They argued that the captain's citizenship above ground is tethered to his role in the Scouts. Denying this request would be taken as an act of insubordination, no matter how much Erwin forgives the said "offense". Moreover, it's an insult to the crown.

The greedy fucks from the top brass gave him two weeks or he'll be kicked back down to the Underground. Since he's the only known Ackerman, he can't push this responsibility on someone else's plate.

- - -

Only his Special Operations team were made aware of the situation. Erwin said that his squad deserves to know why their captain might be out of commission for at least a week... or why he'd possibly be kicked out of the scouts soon.

Levi silently took in the horror on their faces when he broke the news.

"Captain, are they even allowed to do that?"

"That's just... sick."

"Maybe there's a way to delay it for a few more years, sir?"

The only one who didn't speak up was Petra. She just watched the four men converse, with Levi and Eld discussing what the next steps are in case the captain will be leaving the scouts.

The thought leaves a bitter taste in all of their mouths. Survey Corps without Captain Levi? They can only see their success rates getting knocked down further. At the same time, they also don't know which decision to support, knowing that the captain will be sacrificing himself either way.

- - -

Petra has been spacing out since that day. Sometimes, her squad needed to snap her out of it during trainings. She'd been a total recluse, rarely joining them at the dining table during their morning coffee. She'd still bring the captain's tea late at night but other than that, she looks more like a ghost floating around in their squad's side of the floor. They think it's heartbreak since her admiration for the captain is already an open secret between the five of them. No one would've even imagined what she was planning.

She was able to snap herself out of it two days after, and now she's barging into Commander Erwin's office during lunch time.

"Commander Erwin, there must be another way," Petra pleads. She rarely goes to Erwin's office alone and if she's here right now, the captain must've not been aware that his subordinate would approach this topic straight with the commander.

Erwin sighs. "Ms. Ral, I appreciate your concern for the captain. Believe me, I've personally reached out to Zackley regarding this. There's nothing much I can do. I've already swayed Levi's citizenship to our favor once."

It also doesn't help that the government sees the Scouts as the most useless of all three military branches. Learning about how powerful Levi truly is was the only thing that reignited their belief in their regiment after five consecutive failed expeditions and thousands of coins wasted.

The commander looks at Petra and he can tell from her face that the gears are turning in her head. He frowns, having an inkling of what her next words will be. Erwin knows how loyal Petra is to her captain. It's something that the commander himself leveraged and exploited during expeditions.

"Would... if I do it, will that...?"

Erwin's face softens, meeting her eyes in concern. If they were to ask for his opinion as commander, it would be a waste if they allow Petra to take the responsibility. She's one of the best soldiers in the corps and her ability to sync with any team they place her in was an asset that you wouldn't find in any other soldier.

But as Levi's friend, he'd rather not order the captain around when it comes to this matter. The part of him who's committed to humanity's survival knows what the right answer is to Levi's situation, and he knows the captain will choose what will always be best for his soldiers.

"Petra, you know that Levi wouldn't allow it."

"But does it even matter what we think anymore? Commander, they're going to take the captain away from us."

Erwin is quiet for a moment, careful eyes assessing how serious Petra truly is. "Are you sure about this Petra?"

"You know I'll do anything for our cause." Adamant and unwavering. Levi chose well.

Erwin nods. "I'll talk to Zackley what it will mean if the captain chooses a subordinate instead of a commoner. Normally, sleeping with your commanding officer would lead to a dishonourable discharge."

Petra flinches at that.

"But... we can all agree that this is a different case."

- - -

Petra comes to Levi that night. At first, he just assumed it's their usual evening tea time.

"I-I talked to Commander Erwin this morning," she starts, setting down his tea on the desk. He glances back at her for a moment before turning back to his paperwork.

"What about?" Levi said. "You do know that if you have a concern, you can also tell me. I'm the one responsible for you."

"It's not a concern," she replies quickly. "Well... it is but-"

Her hesitance finally stops him. "Since when have you held back whenever we have tea together, Petra?"

"Captain... I-I can..."

He doesn't turn his chair around, waiting for Petra to speak.

"I'm saying that if it will greatly serve humanity, I'm willing to have-," she gulps, pushing the fear from her face to look at him determinedly. "I'm willing to be the one to help you continue the Ackerman bloodline."

Levi's grateful his back was turned. If it wasn't, Petra would've seen how his slanted eyes widened with horror and concern at her words. He feels a headache starting to come along, and he schools his face before finally turning around, assessing hers. His heart fell when he finds that she somehow looks both determined and scared at the same time.

"No."

Petra deflates a little bit at that, seemingly both relieved and hurt from the rejection.

"Please captain, I don't want you to be forced out of the Survey Corps. The scouts need you. I-" She cuts herself off at that, but her silence was loud. He'd known for a while now the depth of Petra's devotion.

"Petra, are you even aware of what you're offering?"

"Of course I know!" She snaps, so unlike her to disrespect her captain outright. "Captain, I wouldn't have offered myself if I'm not aware of what I'll be giving up."

"Then you're fucking stupid for even wanting to go through with this. We don't even know how many they're demanding from me."

He stands up from his chair and grabs her upper arm in a bruising grip, almost desperate to get his point across. "You'll be forced to leave the Scouts, give up your career to take care of a-"

It's rare for him to be speechless, and he finds that the word baby can't even pass through his mouth these days.

"Sir, I just want to help..." Petra says quietly, gaze averted.

"This is not up for debate Petra." He looks at her coldly. "Leave."

"But captain-" He lets her arm go. Petra's expressive round eyes are starting to tear up.

"I said get out."

He watches her hurry out, trying to ignore the fact that she was furiously wiping her eyes as she leaves.

- - -

They went out for an expedition one morning and Levi was somewhat grateful for the distraction.

Reality only came crashing down on him again when he'd watched another soldier die. He seemed new and young, looking more like a cadet than an actual soldier. Probably fresh out of the training corps but died way too soon because he chose the wrong regiment. If Levi remembers correctly, this was one of the newer scouts who had the guts to approach him with bright and eager eyes and asked for advice.

"What's your name?" Levi asks the soldier. He kneels down beside the younger man.

"E-Ethan, sir," the soldier rasps. Levi silently nods in acknowledgement. He looks up, finding Petra tending to a fatally injured scout. Eld and Gunther was assisting a female veteran who lost a leg. He can't seem to find Oluo anywhere.

"C-Captain..." Ethan struggles with his words and Levi can see how his gaze is starting to lose focus.

"I'll avenge your sacrifice, Ethan." Levi says as he holds the young boy's bloody hand, hearing him take his last breath. "I promise you that."

Levi apologizes to Petra in his own way as they wrap up the expedition. He approaches her as she was about to mount her horse.

"Petra." She looks to him with teary eyes. She does this after every expedition, crying for all the fallen soldiers as her own way of commemorating their sacrifice.

"Yes, sir?" she replies in a gentle voice, as if he didn't just make her cry two nights before.

Levi hands her a white handkerchief. "Here."

She blinks up at him for a bit but accepts his offer. He never says sorry outright, but he and Petra have always had this way of communicating where words aren't needed to be said.

They were running out of time. Levi tried to take his mind off the problem by training until his own body gives up on him. A huge part of him have already accepted that he'll be marched back down to that shithole by the end of the week.

Hell, he already packed up the limited possessions that he has.

"Levi, you know this is for the scouts. Losing you would mean losing a battalion for the Survey Corps," Erwin argued.

"Are you asking me to force a woman to become the government's baby making machine?" Levi snaps. "Because that's sick as fuck Erwin!"

Hange told him once that there was a major decrease in the scouts' death toll since he joined. Levi didn't want to believe at first that a single soldier was enough to make that much of a difference, but Hange's numbers was more than enough proof. Since he joined, they didn't need to send 10 men on a dangerous mission when a single soldier can do all the dirty work and still live.

Erwin pointed out that many would jump at the opportunity to lie with humanity's strongest. Levi just wanted to vomit at the title.

How can something that used to boost his soldiers' morale now turn into a fucked up ultimatum that preyed on his commitment to making his comrades' deaths matter?

He supposes that there are other women. He can even just detach himself from the whole situation after the woman gets pregnant and let her raise the kid.

But Levi has an intimate relationship with abandonment. Of being used and treated as nothing more than just a tool. It was all he knew growing up with gangs in the underground, and eventually in the corps as comrades die and his strength used to the regiment's advantage.

He's not that big of a piece of shit as to use someone and leave a child fatherless until they come of age to become a soldier. If he was going to have a kid, he'd make sure that they at least have a good childhood to compensate for all the shit they'd be pressured in. He'd want to be there every time he leaves the walls—not as a captain commanding his soldier but as a father ensuring his child's safety.

Levi also feels sick at the thought of just bedding anyone. Whenever he thinks of this option, his mind would take him back to a dark closet, deep in the underground, where he'd hide as his mother takes on another client. He'd be no better than the men who he watched come and go from his mother's room in the brothel, leaving her crying and filthy once they're done. It feels as if he'd be disrespecting her memory this way. Spitting on his mother's grave would've been more respectful than this.

The only other option is to drag the woman he'd been secretly throwing longing looks at, so willing and devoted, down with him.

- - -

The night before the government will come knocking on their doors, Petra came to his office again.

"You're up for promotion." This was his last resort.

If she accepts, then he'll be leaving tomorrow for the underground. He doesn't really know which outcome to hope for.

Levi doesn't give her the chance to reply, silently handing her a folder. He wants her to understand the gravity of this situation. Of how much of a double-edged sword her devotion truly is.

"I've already signed it and Erwin's just waiting for you to accept before he approves. We'll be raising your rank, complete with a 25% salary increase. You're still in the Special Ops, but now with the opportunity to command your own team outside of our missions, or whenever Erwin and I see it fit during an expedition. This is a step closer to fully becoming a squad leader two or three years from now."

Petra sighs and shakes her head at that. She didn't even hesitate as she takes away the folder from his hand and sets it down on his office table.

"Please, Captain." Petra pleads, hand moving to delicately hold his. "The scouts need you."

The face of the soldier who died yesterday, (Ethan, he corrects himself) flashes on his mind. Levi's promise to the young man rings phantomly in his ears.

I'll avenge your sacrifice, I promise you that.

Levi surrenders.

- - -

"Captain?" Petra removed the last button of her uniform, her eyes on the floor, leaving her in only her cotton underwear. He watches her while he sits on the edge of the bed, eyes taking in her every move as she shrugs off all her clothing.

"Call me Levi," he corrects her. "Please."

"Levi..." She closes the gap between them, climbing on the bed and reaching out a hand to cup his face to help him relax. Petra gives him a shy smile when he leans closer to her touch, while he settles a hand at the small of her back. She leans forward, kissing his jaw and sliding her hand down to his chest to feel the quick drum of his heartbeat. "It's okay, Levi. I trust you."

Petra settles herself on his lap and gently turns his face up to hers, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. His hands trail up her upper arms and she involuntarily shivered when he cups her cheeks to deepen the kiss. Emboldened by how receptive she is of his touch, Levi trails his mouth from her lips to her cheek, gradually making his way down to her neck.

Petra's eyes are closed, biting on her lower lip. She tangles a hand against his hair to pull him closer, encouraging him further. He feels himself getting hard fast when she aligns the heat of her core against his.

"Do you want me to turn off the lights?" She asks, testing the waters by grinding down on him. He shakes his head no, tucking a ginger strand of hair behind her ear. The last thing he needs is to feel like this is a casual romp with a stranger. He wants to know it's her.

He runs his hands against her bare thighs before twisting their bodies around so she'd end up laying back on his bed. She gave a quiet huff at the impact, but Levi was quick to lean down and kiss her intensely. He fears he might come faster than they need him to if she continues bucking against him and they need to pace themselves.

Levi plans to worship Petra tonight, because she deserves nothing less. He looks down at her and meets her eyes for a bit before he's trailing down kisses throughout her body. When he's closer to her chest area, Petra removes her bra off for him and his throat goes dry at the sight. She looks up at Levi with half-lidded eyes, guiding his hands to knead her breasts. The captain doesn't waste time, groping then leaning down to swirl his tongue over a nipple before tending to the other.

Petra whimpers with his every touch. When he makes a bold move to slip his hand down her panties, that's when she gives a low moan.

"Is this okay?" he asks quietly and Petra nods. He starts to massage her clit, feeling her core starting to dampen as his strokes become more intentional.

He soon replaces his fingers with this tongue, earning him a keening sound from the woman below him. Levi only pulls away when he's satisfied at how much of a dazed mess Petra is, hands gripping his black hair to stabilize herself. He levels himself again with her and Petra latches her mouth against him, once again grinding her naked pussy against his cock, still clothed in his pants.

They've both lost the initial shyness and hesitation from earlier on, now both driven by their eagerness to push their pleasure further. He's hard by this point, feeling the dampness and heat between her thighs through his clothed lower regions. Petra continues to grind herself against him and Levi gets harder at the thought of how she's fully naked and vulnerable below him. She desperately bucks up against his hips, delicate but scarred hands reaching down to finally start unbuckling his pants.

He allows her to shrug off his pants while he removes his white undershirt, towering over her. Petra watches him take off his top with a primal look in her eyes, sitting up and reaching out to pass her hands against the lines of his firm abdomen. Her eyes flares up at the sight of his cock, hand reaching out to touch before Levi grabs her wrist.

"I won't be able to last long if you do that." He says. Petra understands, opening her legs further instead to allow him in.

He positions himself between her thighs and looks at her one last time, making sure there's no doubt on her face. Petra, being the fucking amazing woman that she is, only nods at him with a small reassuring smile.

Levi grunts at how deliciously tight she is when he finally enters her, while Petra's arms found its way around his back to cling to him. It proves to be a struggle because her wet walls squeezes around him and he finds it hard to pull his head out of the pleasurable haze. He tries to pace himself, giving them both enough time to adjust to the feeling. When he feels Petra's hips slightly bucking up as if to egg him on, that's when he starts to move.

It was heaven and hell at the same time. For a second or two, he'd like to believe that this is a moment built on months of romancing and awkward dates. He lets his mind wander away from what it actually is—a task, a burden placed on his shoulders for an ability he never even asked for. And he dragged the bravest and most capable woman he knows down with him, willing as she may be.

"Harder, Levi," she breathes out on his ear, snapping his head from spiralling down in self-hatred at their situation.

Levi gives into her wishes, bracing himself by leaning down and pulling her hips closer. He starts to work towards an almost bruising pace, wanting to find a good balance between pleasure and pain for her. Her arms are encircled around him, hands running up and down the hard muscles on his back. Levi looks at the way Petra's breasts bounce with every snap of his hips, mesmerized. Her mouth was open in an o-shape, eyes unfocused as she surrenders to the heat of the moment, cheeks flushed, nipples continuously grazing against his chest with every thrust.

"Yes yes yes," she breathlessly chants. "Fuck me, Levi."

He'd dreamed of Petra like this in the past. But as her commanding officer, all he could really do is lock away those depraved thoughts and quietly steam in lust over his ginger subordinate. Being with her right now couldn't even compare to the nights he jacked off to the thought of her.

He can already tell that Petra's close with the way she's clenching him. Her pants are more desperate now and she bites on his shoulder blade as she reaches her own climax, and he eventually feels her hold on him slacken. Tired and pleased, Petra allows her head to fall back on the pillow and takes in his face to watch the emotions passing through his face.

The feel of her wet core clenching around him was more than enough to edge him closer towards his limit. The rhythm of his thrusts starts to stutter, his primal need to reach release urging him forward.

Petra starts moaning again, turned on at his uncontrollable lust. He waits until she eventually comes again, watching her fall tiredly on the bed, before allowing himself to let go.

One thrust, two, and then they tip past the point of no return. Petra makes a low noise once he comes inside her, her hips rising to meet his final thrust. Lost in pleasure, Levi had to grip hard on the bed frame above her to compose himself. Petra holds his gaze—a mix of adoration and desperation—through it all.

They both pant from the thrill of their coupling and Levi finally collapses on Petra. She pulls him close, allowing him to lay his head on her chest.

He didn't even know when he started crying. He only realized it when he felt Petra brushing away the tears silently running down his cheek with her thumb.

What kind of lowlife am I? Here he is, crying like a little shit when he was the one who'll be subjecting her to whatever hell that awaits them in the next few months. Female soldiers are normally allowed maternity leave but since his case is different, the higher ups demanded that at least one parent will see through the child's growth.

Everyone assumes that it wouldn't be the captain.

He didn't have to sacrifice his career and position. He doesn't need to sit around and nurture a living being inside him for almost a year. Petra will be the one who'll be taking the bulk of it all.

You're fucking selfish. You're a coward.

"I'm sorry," he whispers softly against her skin. He stays where he is, head laid on top of her bare chest and listening to the thump of her heart. Petra was just quiet for awhile, gently running her fingers through his jet-black hair as she stares up at the window and at the night sky.

"Levi... remember when you told us before to choose the choice that we'll regret the least?"

He doesn't answer back, not really knowing what to say at her hushed question.

"I chose this," Petra continues. "Because you going back to the Underground is the consequence that would kill me the most."

She gently tilts his head up so he can meet her eyes, her hand shaking from the barrage of emotion. Petra looks at his face, awe and adoration shining in her amber eyes as she traces a finger against the frown lines between his brows.

"You're a great man, Captain. I've never met someone who cares so much for his soldiers' lives more than you do." Petra continues. "I truly believe that you'll be the one who'll lead us outside these walls."

"I don't deserve you Petra."

She smiles sadly at that. "You have me either way, Levi. I'm here to stay."

- - -

The next nine months were... Well, they didn't even know how to describe it.

They decided to reveal it to their team on the first month of her pregnancy. That led to Eld's fist colliding with Levi's face. The biggest surprise was that the captain allowed his second-in-command to disrespect him in such a way.

"Eld, no!" Petra screamed.

"Captain, you told me before that you recruited Petra for her skills," Eld said. "I didn't know you'd be the type to take advantage of young girls!"

Levi understood where the younger man was coming from, knowing how Eld and Gunther treated Petra like a little sister. Oluo, on the other hand, just watched the exchange with a crestfallen look.

The guys only believed that Levi didn't force her into anything when they saw how Petra fretted over the captain's bruised face the whole afternoon. She'd constantly throw them a glare as she cups an ice pack on Levi's jaw and would constantly follow him around to make sure that he won't get attacked by the three guys. Not that they would even have the guts to attempt it, nor would the captain let it pass the second time around.

Frankly, Levi's grateful that he has a team who looks out for each other, even when they're not beyond the walls. That's one of the reasons why he trusts them. He doesn't know where he stands now as their captain and he knows these turn of events will greatly shift or even damage their squad's dynamics.

As the month comes to a close and with another mission beyond the walls in the works, Erwin pulled Petra out of all expeditions, much to the surprise of the other Scouts. Her role for the next three months were mostly to brief new recruits along with some clerical work before she closes this chapter of her life.

- - -

On the second month, they traveled to Karanese district to finally tell Petra's father. Levi had never met the man before, and the captain was quiet the whole way to her home town. If Petra didn't know better, she'd think that Levi's nervous.

The truth is that all he feels is guilt.

He knocked up the man's daughter and he was her commanding officer. What's worse is that they didn't do it because they were so hopelessly in love. Come to think of it, it would've been better if they chalked it up to them not being able to keep their hands off each other.

He'd be lucky if Petra's father doesn't assume that Levi just turned his daughter into a breeding stock.

"Petra!" The older man greets them. "Captain Levi, it's so nice to finally meet you. Petra told me a lot about you in her letters."

Levi takes a few moments to revel in the warm welcome, thinking that this day would probably end up in more heartbreak because of him.

"Mr. Ral." He accepts the man's handshake.

"Please, come in! I've prepared enough for the three of us. You're not allergic to anything, right captain?"

None of them mentioned just yet what they were there for and Levi was content just to hear Petra chatting excitedly with her father. Mr. Ral seems like a friendly man, and it's no wonder he ended up having a daughter who's such a sweetheart. The atmosphere in the room was light as father and daughter caught up on each other's lives.

Until Petra has to run to the bathroom to vomit.

He saw the rising concern on her father's face as they listen to Petra retching in the bathroom, and that whole five minutes of waiting for her to come back was absolute torture. Levi, for all his bravery when fighting titans, couldn't even meet the older man's eyes.

"Captain Levi, why are you really here?" Mr. Ral cautiously asks him.

The older man's face cracks when he finally learned the true nature of Petra's pregnancy. He couldn't look at Levi after that.

"Captain, I think you should leave." Mr. Ral says, voice cold that he couldn't believe that the warm welcome he received earlier on came from the same man. Levi didn't need to be told twice.

"Dad..."

Levi sighs as he stands up. "Thank you for the food, Mr. Ral."

"Dad, it's not his fault." Petra tries again as Levi moves to the door. "It's my decision. You know how Captain Levi is important to the Survey Corps."

"But why you, Petra?" Mr. Ral snaps. "You know, I was concerned when you told me that you were the only girl in his squad."

"Please, stop." Petra sobs.

"If I'd only known that I really did have a reason to be worried, I would've demanded you to come home."

Levi silently listens to the whole exchange from outside of the room, eyes downcast.

- - -

Petra signed her retirement on the third month. High from the mood swings brought on by the pregnancy, she cried and even hugged the commander. Erwin just awkwardly patted her head and told Petra that it might be best to let go now before Levi slices his hand off.

She also went to Mitras this month, meeting the people who forced Levi into this situation for the first time. Petra was shaking in anger as she walked inside the room, throwing the officials the dirtiest glare she could manage.

Petra didn't even bother to be respectful that whole afternoon as they brief her on what they expect from her, and what can or cannot be public information.

"I used to hope that the child won't inherit your glare but now I'm more scared to imagine if they got Ms. Ral's," Erwin whispered to Levi, watching as Petra backtalks another official.

Levi shrugs. "You haven't seen her when she gets too competitive during trainings."

On the same month, they ended up sleeping together without the goal of furthering the Ackerman bloodline.

They haven't touched each other since the doctor confirmed that Petra's already pregnant. Her every test was recorded and reported to the fuckers back at Mitras and that thought alone was enough to squeeze out the arousal in Levi's body.

Somehow, they found themselves making out in his office on this night.

"Why didn't we do this during our evening tea before?" Levi asked against her neck, peppering kisses on every inch of skin he can reach.

Petra laughs, elongating her neck further to give him access. "Gee, captain. I didn't know you wanted to be court-martialled so bad."

She's currently in civilian clothing since her last day with the scouts was yesterday. Her dress was easier to access and he'd long since unbuttoned the first few buttons that covered her breasts.

Fuck it, he thought as he moves away from his office chair and settles more comfortably on the couch, with Petra on his lap. He looks up at her, eyes alight in lust as he takes in her breasts spilling out of her dress, chest heaving and orange hair dishevelled. He hurriedly tries to unzip out of his own clothing, eagerly kissing her as she slides down his cock.

After a whole week of sex a few months ago, Levi thought he's already used to the feel of Petra around him. Egged on by their own baser instincts despite the situation, they fucked every chance they can get and it was the closest Levi had to a break. It would've been a blissful escapade if he didn't know any better, and the guilt would eat him raw every time he ejaculates inside her.

But for some reason, sex with her right now feels different. Still heated and pleasurable, because of course— it's Petra, but something has shifted between them. He feels lighter, freer.

He's careful as he bounces Petra above him, but still careful not to hurt her. Levi worships every part of her that he could reach without breaking away from the pace that they'd set, while Petra pulls against his hair and leaves her own marks on his chiseled skin.

It's the first time they had slept together without feeling as if someone's keeping a close eye on them.

This moment together is theirs.

- - -

They feel the baby move on the fourth month of her pregnancy.

Levi was the one who first felt it when he was laying his head on her lap. He was quietly reading a report while Petra was knitting a few socks when he felt a poke on the side of his head that was cozied up to her belly.

"Okay, stop it woman!" He scolds and sits up, thinking that she was messing with him. Levi pauses when he sees that Petra is tearing up.

"He kicked."

"What?"

"The baby." Levi's face slackens at that, eyes wide with wonder dropping to her tummy. She runs both hands over the skin, stops and smiles, before taking his wrist to place his own hand on one spot.

Sure enough, Levi did feel that faint poke. He lifts his other hand so he can place both on her belly. Emotion overwhelms him and he swallowed to keep himself at bay.

"Hey, kid."

On the fifth month, Levi was able to strong-arm the higher-ups to give him a goddamn house. Petra knows that this thought would continue to amuse her for years.

From what she heard from Erwin, Levi demanded that the child needs a nice place to grow up in. Since his salary wasn't worth shit despite his high rank in the scouts, it still would take him a long time to make a downpayment.

They approved the request and they moved in a few days shy of her sixth month. It was a simple house, complete with two floors and three bedrooms. One room in the first floor while another two above. Petra suggested that maybe the third bedroom can be his office but he refused.

"You're thinking of opening a pastry shop once the kid's here, right? You can use that space."

"Hmm... but that will still take some time." Petra answers, her voice taking on a teasing lilt. "Maybe we can use it to store all your brooms and cleaning solutions instead."

They once talked about what Petra plans to do once the child is born. Of course, most of her hours will be spent taking care of the baby but knowing Petra, she's not the type who'd sit around and rely on him for the rest of her life. They're still not sure if she'll be able to rejoin the scouts years from now, even when Levi tried telling her that maybe he can find a way to work around it the top brass' shitty conditions. They decided instead to focus more on what they can control now, and he suggested that he was able to save enough that they can use that as a capital for whatever she wanted to do.

As they were fixing their new house, Petra was also surprised that he was setting up his side on the master's bedroom.

Petra wanted to sleep beside him every night, of course. They've already been doing so since that first time they had sex after her pregnancy was confirmed. But Petra thought that it's just going to be her who will move in because the house was a good two hours away from the barracks, making it a hassle for Levi to go back and forth everyday. Petra tells him that she'd be alright with him only coming home for the weekends if it will save him a 4-hour commute every single day.

Levi brushed off her concerns and proceeded to set up the nursery room instead.

"Will a baby really give a fuck about all these colors?" He crudely asks, looking at all the paint palettes in his hand.

- - -

The sixth month was slightly harder. Petra thinks that it may be because the reality that she's now out of the Survey Corps, the one thing that gave meaning to her life for four years, is settling in on her.

Her closest friends in the scouts would visit her a few times every month. Hange's squad, sometimes accompanied by Nanaba, would drop by and Levi had to control Hange from turning Petra and his child into one of their experiments.

"Aww, Levi. I'm just trying to be a good aunt!"

"By trying to feed Petra one of your shitty concoctions?" He snaps back, taking the bottle with the godforsaken liquid as far away as he can from the mother of his child. Petra has to stop Levi from completely banning Hange from their home after that.

Eld, Oluo and Gunther visit her as much as they can.

"Wow, you look like a ball." Oluo blurts out when he sees Petra, earning him a slap at the back of his head from Gunther.

"Bozado, this is the reason why you still don't have a girlfriend." Eld said, smirking. "The captain has shittier social skills than you and he's now going to be a father. Up your game a bit."

Gunther grunts at Eld's quip, knowing that Oluo would take that differently. "Way to go Eld. As if the cravat's not worse enough."

Their visits make Petra feel as if it's just another morning in the barracks, except she now has a round belly. Gunther always asks about how she's feeling while Oluo would brag that he'd be the greatest uncle the kid will ever have. Eld indulges her in her cravings and always brings a basket of strawberries whenever the three of them visit.

She also learned that Levi never chose another scout to take over her place.

"Captain said that it doesn't really make a difference if he adds another member," Gunther informs Petra. "He screened a few. All of them ran away crying."

Oluo chuckles. "Remember when he screamed at them that they're all useless and would be good as titan shit on the next expedition?"

"Please, we all know he's just comparing all of them to Petra. Man's way too in love with you, Pet." Eld replies and Petra blushes.

"If you're done gossiping about me, you're all free to get your asses out here. It's late." Levi suddenly pipes up from the door. The three men shuts up, salutes and scrambles out after saying their goodbyes to Petra, along with promises to visit whenever they can.

"Welcome back," Petra greets, kissing him on the cheek.

"Did any of them give you trouble?"

"If anything, Oluo will give you more trouble." Petra giggles, having had a conversation with Levi about Oluo's tendency to imitate the captain. "He saw your parenting books by the way. I think he's setting up a budget so he can buy himself some."

Levi groans at that.

Through the months, she'd learned that bright little Nifa was recently selected to be transferred to Hange's team. Nanaba would share stories about her promotion to being second-in-command in Squad Mike. Oluo recently got a pay raise and he enthusiastically boasts that he more than deserved it, but Petra knows he's just overjoyed that it will now be enough to send his younger brother to university. Stories that are worth celebrating and Petra was all too eager to celebrate with all of them.

But when she's alone, she'd sometimes feel that time had stopped for her. She'd realize that this isn't just a simple pregnancy and she's not just on a maternity leave. At times when she really is down in the dumps, she'd bitterly question if the living being inside of her truly is worth calling a bundle of joy.

She'd shake that thought away as fast as it came, of course. She rubs circles around her rounded tummy as if to say a silent sorry to her child for even thinking of such a thing. Petra loves her and Levi's baby with all her heart. She doesn't regret any of it because this baby symbolises that Levi would continue making a difference in the scouts.

Still though, there were moments when Levi would come home and find her asleep with tear tracks on her face, hands clenching on her old green scout uniform.

- - -

She was seven months along when he first admitted that he's in love with her.

Well, he didn't admit it directly.

For someone who can easily throw an insult, Levi's shit at words. He made his love known and he didn't even say it to her.

He said it to her belly instead, and Petra almost died at how adorable it all is.

"Your mom's a handful, you know?" was the first thing Petra heard when consciousness starts to return back to her. Sometimes she'd fall asleep in the early evenings just before Levi comes back home. He'd let himself in on most days so that he won't disturb her slumber.

Hearing Levi talk to the baby wasn't something new for Petra. He started addressing her belly since the first time he felt the kid kick. Sometimes, he'd have (one-sided) conversations with her belly as if Petra wasn't even there. Hell, he was even more talkative to the unborn baby than when he's planning an expedition with their squad.

This was one of those moments.

Petra was about to pipe up and greet him a welcome back when he continued.

"If she wasn't the most reckless and beautiful woman I've ever met, I wouldn't have put up with all that shit she'd pulled." Petra's heart flutters. Levi rarely uses words of affection as his love language. He'd always made his feelings known through late night runs to resupply their strawberries just because she was craving them, or by offering to massage her swollen feet for someone who's a real clean freak.

"Don't tell your mom that I cursed." Levi continues as he settles down on the bed to rub her belly. "She'd have my head."

Levi must've been really tired if he didn't notice that she's already awake. He did mention this morning that Erwin was forcing him to catch up on a lot of paperwork the whole day. Still, Petra kept her eyes closed, wanting to hear what he says next.

"Did you know that there was this time when she broke formation to save a horse from being stepped on by a titan?" Levi said before murmuring to her belly: "I can't believe I'm in love with someone that crazy."

- - -

On the eight month, he proposed to her.

"Levi, you don't have to." She tells him, trying to stop the smile from beaming on her face. Her hand subconsciously goes to her round tummy, as if to share to the little one how his daddy can be so silly sometimes.

"Tch. What makes you think I 'have' to?" Levi says. "I want to. Now, tell me that at least you liked the ring because that cost me three years' worth of budget for our cleaning supplies."

He said it so nonchalantly but Petra can always tell whenever Levi is nervous deep down. She recently learned the truth about his past and she knows that the thought of a child of his being a bastard, the same way that he is, didn't sit right with him.

Petra gives him a peck on the cheek and presented her hand so that he can slide it on her ring finger.

"I love it."

- - -

On her ninth month, Levi requested a paternity leave the week she's due to give birth. It always amazes Petra how someone who seemed so cold can be such a great father before the child was even born.

"Are you sure?" she asks. "You won't get behind on work right? You've always been horrible at keeping up with paperwork."

"Don't get too full of yourself," he scoffs. "Just because you're not helping me anymore doesn't mean I can't get them done."

"I also don't trust our neighbours enough to take you to a clean hospital," he later adds.

Petra was excited because this means she gets Levi for a whole week. The last time they got this much time together she was still in the scouts. So she took full advantage of it, demanding that he take her out on a date.

"You won't reject your wonderful, bloated wife, would you?" Petra waddles over to him, asking him with puppy dog eyes.

"God, woman. Are you serious? What if your water broke while we're having dinner?" He snaps back.

"Come onnn. I've been stuck in this house for a week now!" She pouts. "You worry too much, Levi."

"No, I'm just not as reckless as you are." He tells with a hint of fondness in his voice.

- - -

Petra gives birth to a healthy baby boy on the 9th of June, and Levi spent the whole duration of the labor pacing outside her hospital room. His passive face doesn't reveal much since he looks like he was only frowning constantly. On the inside though, he feels his heart lurch every time he hears Petra scream in pain and exertion.

He can't remember how many nurses he'd snapped at. Some of them would even hurry away when he tried approaching them to ask Petra's condition. The head nurse was adamant he stay outside though, telling him that his wife is fine.

Hours later, they finally allowed him in and a nurse handed him a bundle. At first, he was confused because all he wanted to do was rush to his wife who's currently sweaty, tired and asleep on the bed.

It only dawned onto him that what he's holding is his child.

Levi's whole body freezes, and the first thing that came to mind is Kenny.

I'm going to be a shitty father, he thinks, mind spiralling down to the many ways for things to fuck up. I'm going to end up abandoning him and he'll hate me forever.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when the baby gave a gentle coo, eyes blinking open to reveal amber orbs. Levi stares down at his child and awkwardly reaches out a finger towards his face. His son immediately latches on to his skin, a tiny palm attempting to encircle around his finger, and Levi can feel a ghost of a smile forming on his face.

"Hi, brat." He sees from the corner of his eye that some of the nurses raise an eyebrow at that. He'd been talking to the kid for months now through Petra's belly and this is when he's speechless?

Petra wakes up to find her husband fighting back sleep on a chair beside her bed. His hands were wrapped protectively around what seems like a bundle of cloth and he's clutching it to his chest.

He snaps out of his drowsy state when he sees her eyes open. "You're awake."

Petra hums. "Is... is that him?"

Levi nods and Petra's eyes light up despite the exhaustion weighing them down. He moves to pass on the baby boy to her, leaving a kiss on her sweaty forehead before he sits back down on the chair. He's not surprised that Petra started tearing up.

"Oh, Levi... he's so beautiful." Petra leans down to pepper kisses on the child's sleeping face. "He looks just like you."

Levi had never felt peace like this for awhile. A sick and sad part of him feared that if he'll blink his eyes closed, all these will disappear once he opens them.

He received a congratulatory letter from Mitras that same evening, forwarded to him by Erwin.

"Who's it from?" Petra asks as she nurses their baby. She's glowing, and even though she's a sweaty mess right now, he can't help but think that this is the most beautiful state he'd seen her in.

"Nothing. Just some report from Eyebrows," Levi answers.

He threw the letter away without even reading. He'd rather not have his mood ruined right now.

- - -

"He's awake?" Levi groggily asks from their bed.

Petra nods, rocking little Theo in her arms. "I'm praying that he won't inherit his father's insomniac habits."

Levi sits up, opening his arms to quietly ask Petra to hand over the baby to him. "Go to sleep Petra. I'll take care of him."

His wife hums as her body hits the bed, cuddling closer to Levi who's currently sitting up against the bed frame. She throws an arm around his waist while he holds their 4-month-old child, attempting to rock him back to sleep. Little Theo's amber eyes just stares up at him, black hair tousled from all his fussing.

"Oi, kid. Let your mom rest." Levi pokes his button nose, earning him a cute little giggle from the baby. "I'm blaming you if she gets all grumpy on me tomorrow."

Petra lightly slaps his abdomen, a small smile on her face while her eyes remain closed.

Once his family settles down, with Petra now asleep and his son's eyes gradually getting drowsier as the minutes pass, he allows himself to drown in his thoughts. Having a son was both a joy and a sorrow at the same time.

Hange always teased him at how much of family man he's become, not expecting that a grumpy recluse like him who's willing to kick the asses of recruits would be so protective of his own little family. His motivation now during each expedition is just to come back as soon as he can to his wife and son.

He sometimes daydreams about leaving it all, packing everything up and leaving their home, his position in the scouts and finding the three of them a safe space to stay away from the military's demands and interests. Little Theo wouldn't end up getting pressured to join the Survey Corps or any other regiment once he comes of age and he and Petra can have another child or even two on their own terms.

For so long, his commitment to the scouts' cause has mostly been tied to the past, wanting to give meaning to his comrades' deaths. This is the first time he looked towards the future. For the first time, he's hopes for something—he hopes for a time when his son wouldn't even be forced to join the military, no matter how decorated the title they would give him. Now, he leaves for expeditions envisioning a future where they can go beyond these stuffy walls, where he can teach Theo how to ride a horse without the intention to prepare him for a mission. It's for a future where he'd teach his son to fight, just because the boy is curious and not because he needs to survive.

He doesn't know what little Theo's future will look like. For now, all Levi can do is protect his family.