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claymoresword · 2 years ago

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I Choose Her | Chp: 10

Hermione Granger x Slytherin Fem!Reader

Summary: You are the daughter of known death eaters from one of the richest and oldest wizarding family. Are you prepared to abandon everything you know for Hermione Granger?

Pairing: hermione x reader

Wordcount: 4.6k

Warnings: angst, mentions of abuse, smut, nsfw, top!reader, strap on use, g!p (kind of)

Note: right off the bat im just gonna warn u the smut in this one is kinda filthy ??? admittedly i got a little carried away im sorry

but same as last time i added asterisks before it so feel free to skip it if u want!

once again i just want to thank u guys for all the kind words and love shown on this story so far. i love reading your thoughts, it's actually one of the best parts of sharing my writing :) so yeah don't hesistate to comment if u want to! i read them all

alright that's it! i hope u enjoy this one <3

taglist: @gvrsto @aweidlich @xxsekhmet @arielj @poppyflower-22 @scarleigh1989 @smut-religiously777 @coralieesau @blackbirdv98

It’s been a little over a day since you left your parents home with no word. You could only hope Draco was covering for you like he promised. Although no death eater has stormed the burrow looking for you yet, you took that as a good sign.

You glanced at your watch, you had been waiting for Hermione for about half an hour now. Being ready in fifteen minutes seemingly gave you no real advantage as you’ve been stuck waiting in the living room with Harry.

“Have you found out where he’s hidden the other hocruxes?” Harry blurts out, after moving to stand next to you.

“What?”

You asked, but the truth is you heard him the first time. What bothered you was his insistence on having this conversation now.

Harry doesn’t repeat himself, merely raising his eyebrows expectantly.

“No, I haven’t.”

Harry rolls his eyes and you grow increasingly irritated.

“I've only been at it for three days mate, will you relax?”

“We are running out of time.”

You don’t care for his tone. If he wanted to work together he’d have to start addressing you a lot nicer than that.

“You don’t think I know that?” You spat, stepping closer to him.

Fred shoots you a look from across the room and you quickly realise other people were witnessing your squabble.

Feigning a warm smile in return, your hands moved to Harry’s tie, you began fixing it for him.

His poor attempt at a Windsor had been bothering you all evening

“Look, I have an idea of where they might be but I need to be certain. Give me a few more days.” You whisper, hands moving to his collar straightening it up.

Harry only nods but doesn’t break your gaze.

Just like that, there was no trace of hostility between the two of you. Harry’s short temper was a direct result of his fear, you could see that now.

“Thanks.” Harry says sincerely and you appreciated it. Perhaps you have been too harsh on him yourself.

“7 years at Hogwarts Potter and you never properly learned how to tie a tie?” You quipped.

Harry lets out a huff in amusement but he wasn’t given the opportunity to respond.

“Were the two of you about to kiss?”

Ginny remarks as she walks in, standing next to Harry. He wraps his arm around her waist.

You scoffed.

“Yes actually you’ve interrupted a very intimate moment.”

You mostly joke but the fact is that was the nicest interaction you’ve had with Harry since knowing him.

Ginny says something in response but you’ve stopped listening due to the sight before you.

You watched as Hermione came down the stairs, looking more elegant than you’ve ever seen her.

Your mouth fell agape, you didn’t think it’d be humanly possible for anybody to look this stunning.

Your girlfriend notices your expression and grows self conscious under your gaze, she looks away shyly.

Stepping forward you quickly held the side of her face, pulling her in for a kiss.

You continued to take in her appearance after your lips left hers. Not attempting to conceal your awe.

“Alright, stop that. You’ve seen me wear this dress before.” Hermione says, placing her hand against your chest.

“You’re so fucking beautiful. I truly am the luckiest girl in the world.” You whisper earning a real smile from Hermione.

The blush creeping up to her face only urges you to capture her lips into another kiss.

“Look at that–” Ginny shakes her head disapprovingly.

“Hermione enters the room and all of a sudden we’re invincible.”

“Anyway, we need to get going. We’re late.”

She says aloud but you make no effort to acknowledge her.

Instead you move to plant a kiss against Hermione’s jaw. You hear her giggle before she speaks.

“Come we’re late, let’s go.” Your girlfriend says intertwining your hands.

You oblige, letting her guide you to the front door.

“Unbelievable.” Ginny scoffs.

“Are were sure Hermione didn’t enchant her? I’ve never seen anyone behave like that unless they were under a love potion.”

“No it can’t be, love potions wear off.” Harry answers and you roll your eyes.

They can’t be serious.

════════════════════════════════════════════

Standing next to Hermione you watched as the bride and groom entered the tent. Everyone making their way to congratulate the newlyweds. In this moment they seemed immeasurably happy and it makes your chest hurt.

Considering everything going on in the world right now true happiness was difficult to come by. Everyone seems to be clinging onto any semblance of it they have at an attempt to remain sane.

You feel Hermione hold your arm tighter, almost like she read your mind. Bringing her palm up to your lips you placed a tender kiss against it.

You held her hand in yours as you slowly guided her to the dance floor.

Releasing it you stepped away from her before you spoke.

“May I have this dance, my lady?” You asked, holding out your hand dramatically.

Your heart flutters at the sight of Hermione laughing as she takes your hand.

“Yes, you may.”

Your hand finds her waist and for awhile the two of your slow danced in comfortable silence.

The sound of Hermione sighing ends your moment of bliss.

“What is it?” You ask and Hermione lifts her head off your shoulder to look at you.

She then shifts her gaze and you take it as a sign to look over your shoulder.

You find Ron standing a few feet away, a drink in his hand. He looked miserable.

If you didn’t know any better you’d be annoyed. Hermione had shot him down years ago and yet he still couldn’t let her go.

You leaned in to whisper into Hermione’s ear.

“I thought he was with Lavender?”

Your girlfriend shakes her head before speaking.

“No, they broke up.”

“Again?”

She was a little intense but you thought they worked together, somehow.

“I hate seeing him like that. I feel terrible knowing I can never like him back the way he wants me to.”

Hermione has never shared this with you before. Although, it made a lot of sense.

Ron had been her friend since first year and they practically grew up together.

“I understand. Though that sounds like something he has to navigate on his own. You’ve told him the truth about your feelings. I don’t think there’s anything else you can do.”

“I know, it’s just unfair.” Your girlfriend rests her head against your shoulder again.

After a long silence, you speak.

“If you want, I have somebody I can set him up with. After all of this is over.”

Hermione raises her eyebrows in shock and you can’t deny how much you’ve also surprised yourself.

“Really? You’d do that?”

“Ofcourse, I don’t want him to be miserable. I mean I’m not totally devoid of empathy.”

Hermione reaches up to run her fingers through your hair, her longing gaze made your knees weak.

“Thank you.” She leans in to kiss you but you are interrupted by a noise in the distance.

A blue light suddenly appearing inside the tent, the both of you walk closer to get a better look.

A voice emerges from it that sends a chill down your spine.

“The ministry has fallen. The Minister of Magic is dead.”

“They are coming.”

The last message echoes and you feel a searing pain in your arm.

The dark mark suddenly pulsing uncontrollably, you winced in pain.

Hermione quickly notices.

“Y/n, what is it? what’s wrong?”

A loud crash in the distance prevents you from answering.

Another crash followed by screams and the both of you quickly realise what was happening.

“Hermione!” Ron rushes over, attempting to pull her away but she doesn’t budge.

Pleading with her eyes, your own were quick to well up with tears.

“I can’t come with you–” You attempt to pry her hand off you.

“Go. I’ll find you. I promise.”

Your girlfriend hesitates and another scream makes her flinch.

“Hermione, please. Go.”

You watched as Harry grabbed her other hand, the three of them dissaparating.

════════════════════════════════════════════

You waited a few hours longer than intended to return home. That feeling of dread in your gut only festered the longer you procrastinated.

You decided to just rip off the band aid.

Stepping through the front door, as expected, you are greeted with a slap across the face.

Holding your face that is now stinging you meet your mother’s gaze.

She is fuming.

“Where the devil have you been!”

“I left to get some air–”

“For two days?” She raises her voice.

“I’m sorry mother I should have asked you first.”

“Yes, you should have.” She steps closer, your back now pushed up against the door.

“When are you going to start taking this seriously?”

“You are a death eater.” Your mother pokes your chest to the point of pain.

“Your only job is to serve.”

“If the Dark Lord finds out you have other commitments he will kill you. Do you understand that?”

You kept your gaze fixed to the ground as you nodded.

The look she’s giving you is deadly and not something you’ve ever gotten used to.

Your mother reaches out and you flinch for a moment before feeling her light touch against your cheek. With her thumb she stroked gently at the same spot she had hit you just moments ago.

“Come. He is waiting.” Placing her hand on your back she guides you to the living area.

As you entered the dining hall, you took note of the heaviness in the air. A darkness that caused you to feel deeply unsettled.

Numerous death eaters were sat at the dining table. Catching Narcissa’s gaze she smiles at you kindly and you reciprocated. Her innate tenderness was a rather chilling contrast to the vibe in the room.

Every seat had been filled except for the one next to Voldemort.

The Dark Lord flashes you a grin and his is one that causes the hair on the back of your neck to stand.

“Ah, y/n our new recruit. So glad you could join us today. Come.”

He beckons you over. Walking closer he quickly gestures to the seat next to him.

“Please, have a seat.”

“Thank you, My Lord.” You barely manage to choke out, your stomach turning.

Glancing at the ground you watched as a large anaconda slithered underneath the table.

That thing could easily kill a fully grown human if it wanted to.

You swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Now where is Dolohov? He should have been back with the boy hours ago.”

A beat passes where nobody answers and Voldermort slams his fist against the table causing everyone to flinch.

“My Lord, we found Dolohov in muggle London with his memory wiped. I am afraid the boy got away.”

“So what I’ve come to understand is that I sent my best death eaters to retrieve him and not one of you succeeded?”

Voldemort abruptly stands from his seat.

“Can anybody tell me where he is?”

Silence.

“Severus?”

It was only then you realised the Professor had been sat across from you.

“My guess is he still hiding out in London, my lord.”

Bellatrix can be heard clearing her throat before she speaks.

“I’d like to volunteer myself. I will kill the boy.”

“As much as I admire your bloodlust Bellatrix, he must be brought to me. I must be the one to kill Harry Potter.”

“Yaxley, Thorfinn find the boy. Search every inch of the city if you have to. Do not return empty handed.”

Yaxley stands to take his leave but the other death eater does not move from his seat.

“Forgive me my lord but I have just returned, if only if could be allowed some rest–”

Voldemort walks over to him without a word and the air in the room stills.

“Avada Kadavra.”

The flash of green dissipates as quickly as it appeared and you watch as Thorfinn slumps back into his seat, motionless.

The Dark Lord lowers his wand and you release the breath you were holding.

Feeling your entire body tremble, you suppressed the urge to flee.

“Would anybody else like to rest?”

More silence.

“I will go with Yaxley, My Lord” Greyback states already getting up from his seat.

“Very well.”

“Nagini, come. Dinner.”

The snake slithers out from underneath the table.

The noises of bones crunching as it devoured Thorfinn whole would be haunting your sleep for nights to come.

════════════════════════════════════════════

Three weeks since you’ve last seen Hermione. The longest you had ever been apart from her and it is starting to take a toll on you.

“Y/n– did you hear what I just said?” Draco says snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Just forget it.” Draco grumbles, going back to practicing his spells.

“You know, as hard as I try I can never cast a Patronus.”

“How’d you cast yours? What’s your happiest memory?”

Your bestfriend asks and you aren’t able to control the tears welling up in your eyes.

All of a sudden, you had your head in your hands, your entire body wracked by sobs.

“Woah– what did I do?” Draco asks frantically, taking a seat next to you.

You fail to answer and he places a hand on your back soothingly.

“It’s Hermione isn’t it.”

“I don’t understand, if you’re this miserable just go and see her again.” Draco says and you lift your head to look at him.

“I can’t, if my parents find out–”

“I already got in trouble last time.”

Draco stays silent for a moment and you accepted it to be the end of the conversation but he continues.

“You don’t have the trace on you anymore, you know you can just lie.”

“Your problem last time was not having a solid alibi. Just tell them you’re staying with Pansy for a few nights and ask her to corroborate for you.”

You found his cavalier tone amusing.

“You seem to know a lot about this Draco– speaking from experience?”

“Perhaps.” He shrugs.

“Wait do you have a secret muggle girlfriend or something?”

Draco’s face contorts in disgust and you let out a laugh.

“I just enjoy my time away. My parents– well my father, he can be a lot.”

You nodded placing a hand on his knee

“I get it.”

He pats your back in response.

“Well, are you gonna see her or what?”

“Yeah, actually I will.” Standing up, making your way over to the desk.

You had to send an owl to Pansy first.

“Thanks.”

Draco gives you a nod.

“You’re welcome.”

════════════════════════════════════════════

You apparated to the forest of dean. Skeptical at first but quickly remembered Hermione telling you about how she’d come to the forest often with her parents. It made sense why she’d pick it as a hideout.

Looking around you don’t manage to spot anybody, seemingly you were alone.

“Revelio.”

A shot in the dark.

You casted the spell hoping that Hermione or anyone would show themselves.

The veil now lifted you let out a breath of relief when you spotted a tent in the distance.

Stepping through the barrier you lift up your wand again, re casting the protective enchantment.

You begin to make your way towards the tent but you’re stopped by a figure running up towards you.

You quickly recognised to be Ron.

He points his wand, not making an effort to lower it even after realising it was you.

“Oh.”

You notice his shoulders sagged at the sight of you.

Ron, still as charming as ever.

“Good to see you too Weasley.”

“Is my girlfriend here?” You ask without referring to Hermione by name on purpose.

Its been far too long since you antagonised him.

Hermione seemed to have overheard your voice as she soon emerges from the tent.

Practically sprinting towards you, she throws herself into your arms.

If your feet hadn’t been firmly planted on the ground you definitely would’ve fallen backwards and brought her down with you.

“Hey, baby.”

Your hand stroking her back instinctively.

“I was afraid I’d ever see you again.” You hear her voice shake and you leaned back, urging her to look at you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

You reached forward, wiping away her tears as you spoke.

“Don’t disappear on me like that again, please.”

“Never again. I promise.”

Hermione leans in to place a quick kiss against your lips, your attempt to deepen it was halted by her hand on your chest.

She glances at Ron uncomfortably and you suppress the urge to roll your eyes.

He somehow always had to be there, lurking.

She grabs your arm before intertwining your fingers, guiding you closer to the tent.

“How’d you even find us.” Ron says walking ahead of you.

“That’s for Hermione and I to know and for you to find out.”

You smiled at him brazenly, making every attempt now to infuriate him. Ron rolls his eyes before turning around to make his way inside the tent without another word.

It seems you have won this round.

════════════════════════════════════════════

“Say, exactly how many spare tents do you have in that bag of yours Hermione?”

The both of you lowering your wands as soon as the corners of the tent finally stands upright like they’re supposed to.

“I brought two just in case.”

Thanks to your girlfriend’s tendency to be overly prepared, the both of you would get some privacy tonight.

“Food’s ready, guys.” Harry calls out and you made your way to sit by the fire.

You began eating your meal in silence until Ron came over to sit across from you.

“Good, you’re eating.” Ron says to Hermione and you catch her shooting daggers at him.

You copy your girlfriend’s expression but instead yours was directed at her.

“You haven’t been eating?”

Hermione focuses her attention on the food on her plate.

“Sweetheart, you can’t–” You paused.

Suddenly cautious of the fact that the boys were listening in on your conversation.

Harry notices and quickly turns to Ron, he began making aimless remarks about the food.

You may disagree on a lot but you appreciated his ability to pick up on social cues.

“Hermione I don’t want to have to worry that you aren’t taking care of yourself when I’m not around.”

“I’m sorry I left you worried but please think of yourself too.”

Hermione pursed her lips nervously.

“You’re right I’m sorry– but you have to promise me the same.”

“Whatever happens to me, you’ll look after yourself.”

You almost forgot how shrewd Hermione can be. A smirk forming across your face, you nod.

════════════════════════════════════════════

You were sat on the makeshift couch in the tent. Hermione was sitting with her back against the armrest, her legs outstretched on your lap.

You had been flipping through a book in silence before a sudden realisation washed over you.

“Hang on– did Harry have the sword with him in the chamber of secrets?” You asked.

Hermione’s eyebrows knitted together before she responded.

“Yeah. That’s how he killed the basilisk.”

“You told me once he destroyed the diary with a basilisk fang?”

Hermione nods still not following your train of thought.

“Merlin’s beard.” You gasp.

“What?”

You handed the book you were reading to Hermione, pointing at a specific line on the page.

“Dirt and rust have no effect on the blade. The sword of Gryffindor only takes it in, which makes it stronger.”

She reads aloud.

“That’s why–”

“Dumbledore left it to him in his will.” She finishes your sentence for you.

You smile broadly and Hermione reciprocates.

“We find the sword and we can destroy those hocruxes, Hermione.”

“We need to tell Harry.”

You attempt to stand up, pushing her legs off your lap but she swiftly pins you down with a hand on your shoulder.

“I don’t want to talk to Harry right now.”

Hermione moves to straddle you. Her core flush against your groin. Your hands move to her waist, holding her in place.

“No? What do you feel like doing instead?”

The tone of your voice matching the look Hermione is giving you.

She gives you no verbal response instead she leaned in, kissing you with unrestrained hunger.

Her tongue entering your mouth almost instantly, the heat stirring in the pit of your stomach only grows hotter when you feel Hermione grinding against your lap.

Your hands quickly finds the hem of her shirt, Hermione lifts up her arms allowing you to take it off her.

You trailed wet open mouthed kisses, starting at her jaw then her neck and eventually settling at her chest.

Wasting no time in taking her nipples into your mouth.

Hermione grips a handful of your hair as she lets out a moan.

Her hips moving harder against you. The warmth emanating from her core was driving you insane.

“Take this off.” You practically growled as you tugged at her sweatpants.

Hermione obeys without question immediately getting off you to take her pants off.

You quickly removed your own shirt, along with your slacks.

You were undressed in record time, clearly a result of being away from Hermione for three weeks.

Hermione is back on your lap, crashing her lips against yours. She kisses you hungrily, all teeth, tongue and aggression.

You move to lift her up but she pins you down again.

You watched as she grabs her wand, only registering what she was about to do when she waves it over your groin.

The familiar flesh coloured shaft forming, your breath catches in your throat.

Hermione holds your gaze as she lifts her hand up to her mouth gathering her own saliva in her palm.

Bringing her hand back down she strokes your shaft with dexterity.

Leaning back, you let out a groan. Shocked at how good her hand felt.

“Fuck, Hermione–”

Your girlfriend quickly silences you by lowering herself onto you.

The feeling of her cunt around your shaft made you dizzy.

She felt so good.

Something about the spell Hermione used this time that made you more sensitive, or perhaps it was your involuntarily abstinence. You couldn’t say for sure.

Hermione moves against you again and you let out an unrestrained moan.

She quickly places a hand over your mouth. Pursing her own lips, your girlfriend's trying her best not to scream out in pleasure herself.

“Quiet. They’ll hear you.” Hermione scolds, removing her hand from your mouth. She moves to grip the back of your neck.

You winced at the feeling of her nails digging into your skin but you are quickly distracted by Hermione’s hips moving again.

Repeatedly lifting herself up until only the tip of your strap was inside before moving back down onto it harshly.

She is fucking herself with abandon, using your cock for her own pleasure. It was selfish and unbelievably sexy.

Hermione had her eyes squeezed shut, bottom lip in between her teeth. She is trying so hard to stay silent.

You didn’t like it.

“Let them hear you, gorgeous. You sound so pretty when you cum.”

You whisper against her ear as your hands finding her breasts, kneading them.

You feel her move against your harder, you let out another moan which is quickly followed by hers.

Hermione moans out loud at every movement of her own hips and you smile triumphantly.

Your feel her clench painfully against your shaft. Her movements now inconsistent and messy, she was close.

Bringing your hand down you rubbed at her clit with your thumb. It didn’t take much for Hermione to come completely undone. She throws her head back, writhing and panting as the intense pleasure rips through her.

The sight of Hermione naked on top of you with her back arched accompanied with the feeling of you inside her was enough to make you reach your own release.

Her arms move to wrap around your neck, you held her as you both tried to recover.

“Do you think they heard us?” You joked and Hermione let’s out a breathless chuckle.

“That’s not funny. Now we’ll have to deal with Ron’s passive aggressiveness for the next few days.”

“Ah, that’s right the damage has been done. So there’s no harm in going for round two?”

You ask with no intention of waiting for an answer. You moved Hermione so that you were on top and she was laying down on the couch.

Not easing into it as you normally do, you thrust your hips harshly.

Hermione chokes out a moan in surprise, her hands moving to your back as you rutted into her.

Your girlfriend arches her back and you push her down roughly, holding her in place.

The whine that spills out of her lips only urged you to thrust deeper.

“Do you love me?” You asked, planting a kiss on her collarbone.

Hermione’s lost. She groans and you feel her clench against your shaft. You breathed in deeply suppressing your own orgasm.

“You know I love you.” Hermione barely manages to speak the sentence, she moans it.

Your hand moving to grip her throat you squeezed at it experimentally and watched as your girlfriend’s eyes roll to the back of her head.

Her hand reflexively moving to your neck pulling you lower, you had no choice but to lay your entire weight on her, causing you to push into her deeper.

Hermione moans loudly, reaching her sudden climax. You hadn’t anticipated it this time and from the looks of it neither did she.

She’s now moaning and trembling underneath you. The aftershocks of her orgasm taking its time to wear off.

She looked so breath-taking like this, you were convinced you could watch her forever.

════════════════════════════════════════════

You were both in bed now, Hermione’s resting her head against your chest as you rubbed small circles against her shoulder absentmindedly.

“I have a hunch but I’m not entirely sure I’m right.”

You blurt out unsure if your girlfriend was still awake to hear you.

“What sort of hunch?”

“I overheard Bellatrix speaking to her sister, she was losing her mind over one of the other death eaters entering her vault without her permission.”

Hermione hums in response and you elaborate.

“From what I’ve noticed, for some odd reason the Dark Lord trusts her the most. I bet anything the most likely place he’d hide a hocrux would be her vault.”

Hermione sits up to look at you. Already giving you a warning look before you could continue.

“If I can just get in there without her knowing–”

“Oh absolutely not.” Hermione interjects right away and you’re not shocked.

It was worth a shot.

“She’s a cold blooded killer y/n. I don’t even want to think about what she’d do to you if you broke into her vault and did get caught.”

“My answer is no. We’ll find another way.”

#hermione granger #hermione x reader #slytherin au #harry potter #harry x hermione #hermione granger x reader #hermione granger smut

637 notes · View notes

butchhamlet · 1 year ago

Note

are there any shakespeare retellings you recommend? i really enjoy retellings but it's also difficult to find ones that like. actually understand the source material... i've read your novella duodecimal and really liked it btw! excellent take on twelfth night :-)

THANK YOU SO MUCH WAH... yes, i can recommend some retellings! i keep intending to make a big post with my recs, actually, but there are so many out there that i haven't read yet... so for now here's an incomplete list:

a thousand acres by jane smiley: the first one that came to my mind seeing this ask. it's a retelling of lear set on an american farmstead, and the adaptation is done beautifully and smoothly--it's just distinct enough from OG Lear that you can judge it as a book on its own but also as a lear retelling. and it's sooooo good. it starts a little slow, but the character work is so excellent and it almost made me cry (i will note that there's a pretty hefty cw on this one but... saying what it is is technically spoilers? but feel free to send another ask or message if you want to know up-front)

the last true poets of the sea by julia drake: books that made me have to turn my camera off in zoom class so i could bawl properly. books written for me specifically. this is a loose YA retelling of twelfth night (looser than some of the other retellings on this list) and it's like. perfect. the teenage dialogue actually sounds like teenagers. every emotional beat clubbed me over the head. the love triangle is present--and done really well; it's not present for drama but because sometimes being a teenager is confusing--but more than that this is a book about the relationship between violet and her sibling, and about mental health, and god it makes me CRAZY. also girls kiss in this one

rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead by tom stoppard: i mean. i think most people into shakespeare know r&gad. but in case you haven't read it yet, it's an absurdist play from the point of view of rosencrantz and guildenstern and it's absolutely fucking brilliant. not sure what else to say about this; you've really just gotta read it

teenage dick by mike lew: another play, this one on the modern side--a retelling of richard iii set in a high school, focusing explicitly on disability issues. kind of more a reimagining than a retelling, honestly, but i really like the exploration of r3's themes and also it's fucking hysterical. although i will say there's a kind of jarring tonal shift in this one near the end, so don't go to it for something 100% comedic

american moor by keith hamilton cobb: okay this isn't exactly a retelling but if you've ever read othello you have to read it. you just have to. please god if you've ever read a shakespeare PLEASE. it's a monologue from the perspective of a black man trying out for the role of othello, half-resigned to being pigeonholed into playing that specific role in a very specific way as directed by a white director, but also half-chafing against that resignation, and also exploring the complexities of loving shakespeare as a black man, and it's soooooo so good

exit, pursued by a bear by e.k. johnston: this one is kind of cheating because it's not really a retelling, in that it has next to nothing to do with the winter's tale except that there is a hermione character and a leontes character and a paulina character. i still think it's a very very well-done YA book, though, and one of the only ones i've read that deals head-on with abortion

foul is fair by hannah capin: okay, i will admit i read this one some years ago when i was more into YA, so i'm not sure i would still go crazy over it now, but the plot of this book is that the modern lady macbeth character gets assaulted by a guy at a party and decides to kill everyone who let that happen. and then she does. and idk i read it in two days it felt like being on crack

the wednesday wars by gary schmidt: this one is DEFINITELY cheating, because this isn't a retelling of anything. but if you like shakespeare and you're open to reading historical fiction about a kid in the 60s using shakespeare as a lens through which to understand the chaos of his life (from the vietnam war to his school crush)... it's so good. it made me nearly sob. beautiful book

i'm also a fan of ryan north's shakespeare choose-your-own-adventure books, but those aren't exactly retellings and also the humor will probably not work for everyone. but i like em <3

and finally, i would be remiss not to shout out the fact that @suits-of-woe wrote an INCREDIBLE retelling of the two gentlemen of verona that, like, redeemed the fact that that play exists. if you've read that play and you thought, "wow, i wish this were explicitly homoerotic, or not a rape apologia, or good in any way," you will LOVE macy's book. unfortunately it isn't fucking published yet but WITH YOUR HELP--

#max.txt #feel free to send me recs for shakespeare retellings at any time btw!#i've been collecting a list #i just haven't gotten around to most of the books on it yet #asks

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eliotlime · 2 months ago

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November update post thing

Drawing of me watching short-form video content without sound vs one where I am lol

If you use short-form video platforms of any kind and would like to help me with my survey you can do so here! Though I'll probably be closing it sometime next week (2nd November 2024 ish) to collate the data for submission.

I've got a metric tonne of deadlines due next week but you know what it's blog update time!!

This is also not going to be scheduled to post because I usually write these on the 29th but I forgot! So it's getting posted now!!

💀 School..

Yeap as I've said I'm in school so that's still in progress, I have completely no idea what I'm doing everyday and as it turns out no time to worry about it either I got deadlines baby!!!

I mean in theory I understand but it's all a big question mark to me, like i need to be reassured like a nervous dog that I'm doing the right thing and what not

And because of that I'm real sorry about pushing the Abacelsus zine to the back burner, I actually got quite a lot of it done before I had to lock in for school of course.

And though I said I had a lot of sketches I didn't post well they were shittier than I liked them to be so I wanted to make it look nicer. Oh well dems the breaks.

Another screenie of my school work, they didn't really go into depth about how to specifically design stuff so it's basically me frankenstien-ing stuff I've seen existing and just trying my best lol

I mean.. overall it's funnnn... i guess... I do like projects but everyone in my class are adults with established jobs or goals. Even those who are around my age seem to know what they're aiming for too, feels like I'm an unemployed little sucker fumbling in the dark. Can be humiliating I won't lie, why is learning something new so embarrassing?

Aside from that I'm seeing people be so social online while studying too and it's almost mesmerizing, it's definitely survivor bias but those that can balance it are fascinating to me.

📖Anthology Update

Agh enough of that debbie downer bullshit, I'll tell you what I've also got due next week! That's right!! The drafts for my anthology!

Screenie of one of the panels I posted onto my ko-fi discord!

I'm not even half way done and it's due on the 6th of December. I'm beyond FUCKED. Anyway I can get it done by then but the school shit is sucking the life out of me through my ears.

☕ Ko-Fi Page

Deadlines aside I've also randomly launched my Ko-fi Membership page! I haven't quite had the time to properly promote it but it's there and I've been updating it every so often

I've got stuff up there already and comics of things that aren't polished (or sfw) enough for me to post. Especially if you're interested in my characters and would like to support me, here's a good hub to check all of it out!

The Ko-fi Discord updates the most frequently, basically every time I draw anything (Which is quite often!). The actual ko-fi gallery is only being updated every week to prevent spam.

Shout out to my one ko-fi member, wormfriend. Right now it's quite funny to have just the one but I definitely would like more so plz join!!! I promise I draw a lot!!!

🌯 Wrapping it up...

That's all I've got for you this month, real grind-y and uneventful but hey some moths are like that. I talked about opening my commissions again in December and I intend to keep that promise but as of yet the first week is not looking too hot haha. I'll consider it on the 7th but whuff it's real packed right now!

I don't have really anything else to say or add that isn't either

a) incredibly negative and self deprecating

b) cussing the shit out of disrespectful transphobic anonymous asks I've been getting

so I'm just going to end this hastily written blog update here and get back to work!

I leave you with this cool down drawing of a honda civic and my attempts at a motorcycle that can also hover in the air.

As always thank you so much for reading and I've been so busy I haven't even had time to work on my annual redraw that's been sitting in my folders gah! If you’d like to support me, here’s my ko-fi page again and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.

If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: [email protected]

XOXO, Stay weird!

-Eliot :)

#blog update #text #update #lime.txt

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red-carter · 2 months ago

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Giving Thanks

Now, I've seen my friends and their posts and replying. I wanted to make my own because I know that this one is going to be pretty long. At least, I have an idea that it's going to be pretty long. I won't be able to tag everyone, seeing as I don't know everyone's tumblrs and such like that. There's also going to be some not tags because I'd be too scared to actually tag these people.

I'm so very very thankful for everyone who's come into my life in the last year. I'm thankful to those who've been in my life for several years. My bestest sibs who won't likely see this for the many years that I've been with them, since first grade, middle school, beginning of high school and everyone in between. Those who I call family (not blood related), because you, and everyone I'm about to mention, have helped me in so many ways. As well as just because I'm so happy to have met you. Even if this is just for a season, long or short, I'm so glad to have made the friends and family that I've come across. Who've just been chill, or been there for us.

Thank you @imaginethat0327 for being an inspiration and being the person who helped me step out of my scared and anxious lil bubble I'd created around myself. You're such a lovely person, and I really look forward to our talks, no matter how long apart they are from the last one. Also big thanks to Livie because they've also been such a joy to have met and chat with. Always look forward to our chats <3 Through them I've also met @nyxcentury who's just as lovely. Though we've not talked too much, always love seeing you around. Same goes with Tipthewaitress (dunno their tumblr, so I hope that they see this), and the other lovelies of the Rescue Fire discord server.

@cat-in-the-desert .... I... There's so many things I'm thankful for from you. I'm so thankful that we got to meet, and that you've been such a wonderful friend to the point I consider you one of my closest friends. Genuinely. You're such a lovely person, always looking forward to our chats and hangouts <3

Really quickly, I'm so thankful to have come across @\nightdreamdraws art and animatics, and her AUs... They're so cool and I always look forward to any new art or ideas that they share. Cherrifire with seeing her creative take on the life series, and the amazing things they've done in this community. Magnifique! (Wish I could properly spell that word, apologies if it's wrong, or has no accents, I'm just trying to be wholesome here.... :)) There's so many others, their animatics, art, animations, edits, that I'm so thankful that I've gotten to see because everyone is amazing! I swear-!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

@ezzriin stares and blinks with an ever growing smile You're a lovely lil guy that I'm so grateful to have met. I wanna squish you /pos. I might have to DM you another paragraph I swear— So lovely, and a wonderful chaotic gremlin that I hold dear in my heart.

@foxhunter350 I would write a full paragraph if I could right now, but I'm trying to keep these short.... I'm thankful to have met you. Getting to write ideas and such with you has been such a blast, looking forward to more with you mate. So very grateful to have you in my life. /gen

@nine-of-diamonds, @1watermelontea, @crabbri stares blankly at you three You're all so amazing, I'm thankful that I came across Chasing The Horizon Line and got to meet you. The butterfly affect is something I think about constantly, and so thankful for in this situation. The chaos and fun that we've all had, I cherish it with my whole heart. Thank you for the amazing series to read and the fun times we've had and will have in the future. (please leave me out of this big ass polycule, not professing my love to you lot just yet, again.... /vsilly)

@writingwithaglassquill Quilly, Eilly, my beautiful darling of a muse? /silly /lh /p Lmao, sorry, that was a weird way to start this. I'm thankful to you, and I know I've told you this many times, but I'm forever grateful for coming across your story IHTH because it really gave me the urge to want to write again. You've done so much, you're a fabulous person, and I'm so glad to have met someone like you. A steady head to keep me from just completely sinking. (this is me professing my love /vsilly /j /p) Genuinely so thankful to have met you when I did, looking forward to the future ahead.

@gildedmicah18 Meka-Meka... Darling Micah. /vsilly /lh /p You're such a wonderful person to chat with, always looking forward to our chats. Thankful to have you in my life you amazing cutie you! (Really really wanna squish you and also may or may not see you as a little sibling.)

@nyxtheeclipse Hai. You're a cutie. <3 .... Yes, I was tempted to just leave it at that. My bad XD Anywooooo!~ Thankful to you Nyx for everything you've done. You're an amazing person, love you lots mate! Very creative, and always looking forward to what you make and share!

@yourfavouritevigilante (hoping this tags.... it's being funky) You're such a lovely individual, along with your system. We all love you. You're all like siblings to us and we're so very very thankful to have met you Tobes. Genuinely, we're always looking forward to getting to chat or hang out with you lot. So fun to joke with, or pick fun with each other or stopping fights (like earlier XD). Genuinely though, and I may say this far too much, we love you so very much. See you like a little sibling for reals. Or child, depending on if it's us, or Impy, Skizzy, and Jess. So grateful to have gotten to know you and hang out with you lots, squishing you all. (except those who don't like getting hugs which is a-okay)

@peridot-the-kitten .... Okay, I genuinely forgot the words I was going to start off with XD. I love that I've just confused you in CTHL hahahahah. I'm so thankful to have met you Lain. You're a lovely and creative individual that now? I can't believe you scared me before XD. Grateful to have met you, and gotten to know you. So many jokes and fun has been had, and you've been a wonderful grounding point in lots of stuff that's happened as well. Always looking forward to our chats and hangout sesses.... sessions.... Love you lots!!! (totally professing my love /vsilly /j /p)

@moonstarsongs You're a darling sweetheart of an angst lover. You've been such a wonderful friend and lovely individual to chat with. So very thankful to have met you and that I get to chat with you whenever we can (since different time schedules and whatnot). <3 <3 <3

@archaic-dragon You're very lovely, so glad that we've gotten to chat and whatnot. Seriously, so very thankful. You're amazing, got so much creativity, it's been wonderful to get to hang out and whatnot. Always looking forward to chats with you or gaming and such. Thank you Arcy!

@will-falling-fell Haven't chatted with you too much, at least that I'm thinking back on. But you're a sweetheart from what I can remember. I see you chatting with the others in CTHL and stuff, and it always brings a smile to our face. Grateful to have met you, even if we don't talk much right now, hoping to get to chat with you more in the future. <3 <3 <3 <3

@tinydekuscrub Hai darling! Love you lots. So very grateful to have met you. Pretty sure I say this almost anytime we chat really. You're a lovely person, and we love chatting with you and everyone else. Thanks for dealing with our smart and dumbass XD, and looking forward to all future chats and hangouts. (Guys, I swear, I'm too gay for this person, I really really wanna write more XD)

There's still many more people I could write out thanks for, but for now, I think it's best that this be it for a bit. Again, thank you to everyone who we've gotten to meet, who's given us ideas, given us new life and fun things to look forward to. Lots of good times in the future. Here's to another year of fun and laughter and even in the not-so-good-times, love you all so much!

#carter/carpet speaks

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prima-materia-ttrpg · 6 months ago

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The "why" behind Game Design

I've been doing a lot of thinking and talking with my friends about Prima Materia, as I often do these days. For the past few weeks there's been something itching at the back of my mind, I'm making mechanics that are starting to work well but for whatever reason they don't "feel" like Prima Materia to me. They technically fit in with the design pillars I've assigned myself; grounded, cinematic, dynamic, and fantasy, but I've felt like things are missing. Going beyond that, I don't think someone would properly grok the game if they were to read my past blog posts. If I read my past blog posts without knowing what Prima Materia is, I would think it's a game mostly focused on combat with some interesting worldbuilding.

I decided to talk with one of my friends about this, and the conversation led to me trying to properly articulate the kinds of things I want to happen in Prima Materia and compare that with the direction the design is going. In particular, how do I imagine a campaign going? What do people actually do in the game? While these are questions that can be applied to most ttrpgs, I hadn't realized how important it was to answer them concretely to make correct design decisions for my game rather than the design being driven by vague subconscious conceptions of a game that does not yet exist filtered through some core design pillars and my own limited experience in playing ttrpgs.

What do people actually do in the game?

This is a wide question, and has a wide answer.

When I think of what it would be like to actually play or GM a game of Prima Materia my mind tends towards uncovering secrets, diplomatically dealing with situations, and overcoming obstacles that require lots of preparation to pull off without getting seriously hurt. Secrets should be important to the party and world, and depending on the tier of play can be anything from uncovering new alchemical magics to metaphysical secrets of the universe that can act as MacGuffins for a longstanding party.

The more I think about it, the more I believe that uncovering secrets is one half of the beating heart of Prima Materia, and the other half is preparation for overcoming obstacles to achieve the uncovering of those secrets. Characters in the game aren't meant to be incredibly powerful but rather incredibly skilled at their area of expertise, whether that be being good with a sword, knowledgeable in certain subjects, good at diplomacy, or making useful items. That's the concept of the game that's in my head that needs to be concretely written down (and how convenient for me that I've just done that).

Going Forward

A lot of the ideas and drafts I've written or verbalized to friends make a lot more sense in this light of uncovering secrets and preparation, as lot of those ideas hinge on uncovering secrets or being prepared. There are lost manuscripts I've been itching to put in that grant skill bonuses as well as character features due to the knowledge contained within. The Alchemist profession alone is a class that takes the ideas of preparedness and uncovering secrets to 11, where you create new spells and tinctures and unlock more and more useful things to make as well as ways to make them.

There are several design decisions I've been making recently that do not spark joy for me. They will be dealt with, and going forward I will have this to keep in mind as what I want the heart of the game to be.

If you read this far, thank you very much! It means a lot. The astute among you who read my last post will notice that this is suspiciously not a post about the Sepia as I promised, and that's because I thought this post was important. I will of course try to get the Sepia post out next week, but if that fails I will bring you an update on my most recent mechanics experiment which will surely have transpired by then.

#indie ttrpg #ttrpg #prima materia #primamateria #game design

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curio-queries · 4 months ago

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I just read your I Am Still review and it makes me curious what namjoon's movie (not sure if its meant to be a docu?) will look like.

I know BH could do better in a lot of ways, but I do think a lot of the stuff tied to bts' solo promotions is really a reflection of where they are at artistically as individuals. Like I'm sure BH lays out a profit plan (i.e. we want an album, a video release, merch, etc.), but other than that, I do think a lot of it is up to them what direction they take. Like if they have something specific in mind or want to go waaaay more artistic, namjoon's solo seems to show that BH will put in the money and allow them to do that. On the other hand, I do think, if they don't have a direction in mind, BH just gives them the memories, in-house BH editor treatment (which could be better and they could at least get an actual docu director if they plan for a theatrical release, I know people felt this way even for Beyond the Star).

I actually love a lot of the songs on Golden (I'm a pop-whore through and through), but I do think jungkook hasn't quite found himself yet, or his unique artistic vision. And I think that flows into the content related to the album. I don't know if its controversial to say as a fan, but I think even calling the album "Golden" and then comments I've seen about the docu, it feels more like him trying to live up to his "Golden Maknae" status of mega pop stardom than necessarily finding himself in this album. And to be clear, those things don't have to be mutually exclusive! But I do think jungkook doesn't necessarily dig deep or get vulnerable in this album, so it doesn't surprise me that the docu might also feel that way. I also feel like this is why JPD might feel a little more cohesive, because I do think jimin is farther along in his artistic journey (being vulnerable, knowing what he wants to say as an artist even if its not fully polished yet, etc.). And this no shade to jungkook, I think all of the vocal line haven't had the opportunity to grow outside the group like the rap line has, especially the younger members whose entire artistic career/view has been shaped within a group setting. Finding yourself takes time, and trial and error. Sometimes I feel like jimin doesn't get enough credit for the fact that his first entirely solo project was so personal and he was so involved in the entire creative conception of it, especially for someone as reserved as him.

I am excited to see what Jin will end up coming out with (I love the The Astronaut song) and it'll be interesting to see the direction each member takes post military service. Even styling-wise, I'm curious what each member will do. I've hated jimin's styling for all of his solo projects (except the sparkly denim LC outfit) and most of jungkook's outside of SNTY. Please let the weird, ugly mullet, lego hair-piece looking stuff die and also extremely baggy clothes. I need fashion to have evolved by the time they get discharged because jimin should not need to be pulling up his pant's leg while he dances.

Hi anon,

Thank you for sending this in. I apologize that it's been ages, I got quite sick for a bit there and didn't have the energy to deal with tumblr. (Sidenote, the feed is kind of a disaster right now. I hope people can return to celebrating content again soon, I'm ready to stop unfollowing people every time I log in.)

Anyway, I'm so glad you brought up Namjoon's film because I'm so INTRIGUED. What are the criteria for this film festival? Is there any hope that it's been handled properly? What do we know about the director? Is this just another Hybe edit and they've strong-armed is into the festival? Is there going to be any way for us to watch it?

I don't really have any answers to these questions yet but it's kind of my only hope left of a decent film that's not just bangtantv content.

I actually really loved the idea of Golden being the album title and many of the choices surrounding it's release. Such great imagery and art surrounding his tattoos and just completely celebrating everything that led to JK as a person. But...it has very little connection to the actual music. Again, other than this idea that JK was actively pursuing himself as an extremely technically-exceptional singer, what does Golden have to do with the music? Other than one (possible coincidental) reference in STNY, this album could have been called anything. It's not the worst offense of an album but the rest of BTS's work has raised my expectations in having all sides of a release being exceptional. And this just wasn't for me. Not bad. But not astounding.

Also, can I say I'm so relieved to hear someone else voicing my same opinions on the styling for JM that last year. I absolutely despised the mullets and the baggy puts that he had to lift during choreo. Seriously anon, how did you get inside my brain?? I didn't mention this anywhere because everyone was gushing about it but it just pulled me out of it. Every.Single.Time. Can we be besties? Lol

Anyway, I'm sure I missed something in your ask. Still not feeling 100% but I don't want to delay this response any longer. Thank you so much for your patience!

#bts documentaries

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m4delin · 1 month ago

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WIP - Nothing more than codes and digits (let's add to it)

Since it's new years eve, I want to share what was supposed to be my third title for the Treebark Title Swap 2024, but I ran out of time for finishing it and since then it's been sitting in my WIP document. It's my own title I stole so I didn't feel bad for not finishing it.

I aim to actually finish it, but wanted to share what I got so far since I do like what I've written. Just don't mind all the notes in the brackets, you're getting everything here xD

Words: 6.7k Characters: Ren, Martyn, Doc, Tango Tags: datastream defender lore, C.H.E.S.T is evil, it's taking place in the future (at minimum 80 years after pirates smp ended), androids, memorials, brief mention of assissted suicide, pre-relationship treebark, spring is martyn, despite what martyn believes it is the real world, very much utopia

Summary: Having been one of the earliest people "rescued" from the datastream, Ren has helped a lot of people to get used to their new bodies and the new sociaty. Some has trusted him more, some has trusted him less, and Ren can't fault anyone for that.

Spring is proving to be the most distrustful person Ren has met yet.

A whistle from the kettle echoes through the apartment, and it brings Ren out of the drowsiness that always clings to him when he starts up for the day, just enough for him to yawn and stretch before detangling himself from the blanket.

It’s a slow start, really, it takes a good 15 minutes before Ren is finally on his feet, body awake enough to not move in slow motion.

He probably should ask Doc to take a look at him, it’s been a while since the last check up.

He files the thought to his to-do-later list, and instead focuses on his normal morning routine. Remove the still whistling kettle from the stove, take out a couple of bags of nutrients for his plants and mix it with the still hot but cooling water, throw the binder and tablet into his work bag, ignore any paper that doesn’t stick to the binder, and walk around to water the plants with the now cool mixture.

A small orb appears in the corner of Ren’s eyes, and as he looks at it, it turns into a small holographic image of Xisuma, but instead of his voice coming through, it’s a generic robotic voice that reads up the message.

“I’ll be running late, can you drop by the coffee shop on your way in? Thanks.”

Ren chuckles, and shakes his head at the message.

“Reply,” he says and the holograph changes into himself with a speech bubble beside it. “Sure thing, dude, I’ll get the usual. Don’t fall asleep on the bus again. End reply.”

He watches as the speech bubble gets folded into a letter before disappearing together with the holograph. No matter how many years have passed, he still finds it fascinating to watch the small avatars come and go.

Shaking his head, Ren focuses back on his task. He waters the final plant and hurries back to his bedroom to get properly dressed, since he’ll not only take a detour, but also open the museum apparently, he needed to get a move on.

He’s still buttoning up his shirt as he walks out of the apartment, work bag hanging over his shoulder, and the door locks behind him with a soft click.

[small transition for traveling? ]

The coffee shop is busy when Ren arrives, and he flicks an ear backwards in annoyance. Of course he succeeds in hitting rush hour for the morning travelers. Not that he has much of a choice, he realizes, with Xisuma being so late with his request. Normally the director would know way earlier if he was about to run late, but Ren guesses that today must’ve been an emergency. Or he had stayed up way too late again and slept in.

As Ren joins the queue, he decides that that’s what happened.

Surprisingly the line goes by fast and it doesn’t take long until the cashier is looking at Ren expectantly.

“One Cream Coffee and one Radiator to go, please,” he says as he lifts up his wrist, a small section of it lightning up. The cashier hums as they tap on the screen in front of them before lifting the other hand, holding a small square thing above Ren’s wrist. It beeps once and the cashier brings back the device.

“5 minutes,” they say, and waves Ren to move out of the queue. Ren does as instructed and watches the people move around him as he’s waiting for the drinks. [description of humans and androids? Ren receives the drinks, one blue, mentions of him passing breakfast at home?]

The walk from the coffee shop to the museum isn’t a long one, the perks of working in the city center, but it’s long enough for Ren to feel like he properly got to stretch his legs out and having sipped enough of his drink for a third to be gone.

It’s later than it’s supposed to be when Ren finally reaches the employer door to the museum, a showing of his wrists makes the door beep and open, letting him inside.

The building is silent at this time in the morning, even with Ren’s enhanced hearing. Or it usually is, but now one of his ears twist as he hears a high pitched sound from a light somewhere close by, no doubt about to go out during the day. Which he would have to replace.

Ren sighs heavily, and heads towards Xisuma’s office to drop off his coffee in the heat preserving container, before he goes to his own while downing his the rest of his drink.

The door to his office unlocks when he puts his hand on the handle, and opens without a complaint, and Ren is greeted by the sight of papers covering the floor.

Right. The research. He’d forgotten about that, honestly.

Luckily it’s only printouts of different texts that he was trying to decipher, so he’s not exactly careful as he walks over to his desk to put down his back and the now empty cup. He would start cleaning the room up normally, but since Xisuma was running late, and it would just be the two of them today, so not only did he have to change that light bulb, but also prepare the museum to be opened.

Ren isn’t sure if he’s happy or not that he can’t get headaches anymore.

He ignores the chaos that is his office, even adding a little bit more to the pile on the floor by pushing down a couple of more papers from the desk, and heads back out to start preparing the building.

He’s barely closed the door behind him when the small white orb appears in the corner of his eyes again, this time shifting into a goat when he gives it his attention. Instead of it starting to read up a message, the robotic voice let him know it’s an incoming call.

“Answer,” Ren says, and the goat shifts into the upper half of Doc.

“Good morning, Ren,” Doc says, one hand raised in a greeting.

Ren gives him a big smile. “Doc, my dude! Was thinking of you this morning! My body seems slower than usual in the mornings, think you can take a look?” He continues on his way towards the ground keeper’s office, Doc’s hologram floating beside him.

Doc blinks, and looks down into something in his hands. “Perhaps next month then. Been a couple of years since your last check up.” Then he shakes his head. “But that’s not why I called. Can you come by the lab next monday?”

It makes Ren pause in his step, and he looks properly at Doc again. “Have you found-”

“Yes,” Doc cuts him off, “another prisoner. Tango and I are setting up a body for them, and it should be done by the weekend, but I know you like to have your weekends off.”

Ren continues his path to the ground keeper’s office, but with quicker steps than before. “I want to be there when you wake them up, you know this, dude. Got any name on them?”

“No.”

The heavy sigh that accompanies the words makes Ren’s artificial heart sink as he steps into his destination. “Oh.”

“The disk was named though.” And… That’s unusual.

Ren pushes the buttons in the office to activate the cleaning robots, and doesn’t pay enough attention to the screens to see if they’ve been turned on properly. “That makes it sound like it’s not numbered,” he says as he steps out of the room, and continues down the hallway.

“It was titled Spring. Does it ring a bell?” Doc asks, and Ren wishes that it did.

“Hasn’t Tango looked through the police reports on the whole ordeal?”

“He has, and found nothing. But you’re the history expert on C.H.E.S.T, so figured it was worth asking,” Doc says, waving a clipboard around.

Ren frowns, and his ears lay down flat against his skull, and gets behind the front desk. “I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’ve never heard of something called Spring before. I’ll make a deep dive though, see if I can find anything.”

“Appreciated, Ren. I’ll send a message when it’s decided on when we’ll wake them up. Bye,” Doc says, and Ren says his own goodbye before the hologram of Doc turns into a white dot again.

Well. At least now Ren knows what he will spend his free time on til monday arrives.

With thoughts focused on the upcoming research, Ren hurries through the preparation of the museum’s opening for the day.

-----

[small scene that transition into the lab]

It’s easy to find the room where Doc and Tango would wake the prisoner[another name?] up, Ren has been here plenty of times already, and Ren clutches his bag closer to him. [add that he’s carrying a bag of drinks with him]

He’s honestly excited, it’s been a few years since they last discovered a disk that wasn’t broken.

Ren pushes the door leading to the viewing room open, and pauses as he only sees Tango in the room, sitting in front of the big window, and looking through it.

Tango glances away from the window, and smiles when Ren meets his eyes. “Ren! Good to see you, come on in!”

Ren makes sure to close the door behind him, glancing through the window. It’s a view of a spacious room, a wardrobe in one corner, a tv on the wall next to it, and on the opposite is a bed with a table beside it. A bed currently occupied by a generic looking android body that shouldn’t be up and moving, but obviously is. Beside the bed is Doc sitting with a tablet in his hands.

“I thought you would wait to wake them up until I arrived,” Ren says with a pout, ears pressed down against his skull.

Tango shrugs. “We planned to, but when we were preparing the body and inserted the disk, they woke themselves up,” he says, and looks back to the scene in front of them.

The android body is holding a tablet of their own, their head tilted slightly as they’re listening to what Doc is saying.

“That’s unusual. How many years has it been since that happened?” Ren asks as he opens up the paperbag with the drinks. He takes the smallest one out, and hands it to Tango.

Tango takes it, pops out the straw, and takes a sip. “Not in the years I’ve been working here. I think it has happened three times now in total?”

“Four,” Ren corrects as he digs out a larger drink, and puts it on the table behind Tango. “I mean, if you’re counting this dude too.” After digging out a small package of milk and making sure there’s only two drinks left in the bag, Ren returns to Tango’s side.

Tango snorts. “Why are you asking me if you remember that?”

“Years tend to float together after a while, the amount of times it happens are easier to remember,” Ren says with a shrug, before looking towards the second door on the other side of the room. “I’ll head down, and save the poor fella from Doc’s technical ramblings,” he says as he moves towards the door.

Tango giggles behind him. “Sure, old man. Remember to ask Doc for an upgrade in your cache at the next check up!” he shouts behind Ren. Ren just shakes his head as he goes through the door, and down the stairs.

Doc’s voice comes through the moment Ren opens up the door downstairs.

“-o problem at all- oh. Hello, Ren,” Doc says as Ren walks into the room, putting the tablet down into his lap. The android turns their head with slightly narrowed eyes, and Ren gives them both his best smile.

“Hi, dudes! Everything good?” he says as he walks up to the bed. The android is still looking wary, but Ren looks at Doc as Doc nods.

“I’ve given him the rundown of his new body, including a tablet for customization requests that’s not the generic type,” he says, and taps a [tablet pen?] against his own tablet. “Now I need to check more how his fine motor control is working, to make sure everything is in order, and then I need to-”

Ren chuckles. “I’m gonna stop you right there, bud, but one step at a time, yeah? We don’t need to overload his brain right at this moment,” he says as he pats Doc on the shoulder, and gives the android another smile.

“That… would be appreciated,” the android says as he looks between the two.

“With that approval-” Ren begins as he grins at Doc, “-I’m sending you off to the break room. I’ve brought a chocolate[other drink?] to you, it’s up with Tango in the room.”

Doc nods, and gives Ren a smile. “Thank you. I’ll be back later, whenever you’re ready to learn more about how your body functions,” Doc says, and with that he raises up from the chair, and walks through the door Ren had arrived from.

Ren puts all his focus on the patient, and gives him a smile. “Apologies for just switching like this, but Doc tends to get into the technical stuff immediately, and most people find it overwhelming,” he says, and fishes up a third, blue drink from the paper bag as he walks closer to the android.

The android looks between Ren and the drink he’s holding out.

“It’s a drink called ‘Radiator’. It’s a fluid that people like you and me need to have a functioning body, and this one is made into a drink so we can mimic drinking. It’s calming for some people,” Ren explains, and watches as the android slowly takes it into his hands.

Ren gives him a smile when he does take it before he walks over to the chair Doc left, and digs out the fourth and final drink out of the paperbag. He discards the bag beside the chair, and hangs his work bag over the backrest before sitting down.

The patient is looking hesitant at the drink, and Ren knows how weird it is in the beginning, so he takes a gulp out of his own Radiator.

“You said people like us?” the android asks when Ren lowers his drink, and is now obviously glancing at Ren’s ears.

“Yep! People stuffed into an android body,” Ren says, and taps one of his ears, it flicking out of range at the touch, since it has the android’s attention. “These babies are custom made. Had human ears for a good amount of years, until Doc figured out a way to customize bodies without risking us shutting down. Real genius that man!”

The android frowns, and looks down at his drink in his lap.

“Had a tail for a while too, but let me tell you, not worth it! Not only do you have to make custom clothes, especially pants, but they wear[?] out too fast. As good as I am at repairing them myself, there’s only so many times a man has patient to repair his own pants per month,” Ren continues, chuckling at the memory. Yeah, he had to repair way too many pants.

The room falls into silence, just for a moment, as Ren looks at the android and the android is still looking at his drink. The tablet the android had been messing around with earlier is laying in his lap.

“This is a lot, I know,” Ren says with a soft voice, and the android glances up. “If you have any questions, go ahead. Kinda why I’m here, being the social dude so Doc and Tango can focus on making sure your body is functioning correctly.”

The android seems to think for a moment before he lifts up his head properly.

“The doctor said your name was Ren?”

Ren slams a hand on his forehead, and an ear flicks in annoyance. “Introduction is a thing, yes,” he says as he lets the hand fall back down into his lap, properly gripping his drink again. He gives the android a smile.

“Yeah, name’s Ren, he/him, I’m an ex-employee of C.H.E.S.T-”

The difference between normal androids and people with an android body is really fascinating if you ask Ren. Androids often just mimic expressions that humans make in certain situations, while the people have the mini[miniture? miniluscus?] expression change that androids seem incapable to mimic, despite having the same built body. And this is a perfect example of it.

Because the reaction is instantaneous.

Deep rooted fear flashes across the android’s face, as well as his body going rigid, but it’s there barely a second before the android’s face is neutral once again, although his back is much straighter than before.

It tells Ren that this person has dealt with C.H.E.S.T before.[not happy with this line, find alternatives]

Ren clears his throat, and pretends that he didn’t see it. “-I worked in the public and civilian sector, but when I started to investigate the disappearance of some of my colleagues, I ended up as one of their victims as well. They stuffed me into a digital disk, and stayed there until I got woken up by Doc. Don’t remember much of the time I spent being digital that way. Today I work for the Hermit Museum, working on preserving the memories of all of C.H.E.S.T’s victims, giving them a memorial for those we haven’t been able to find and give a new chance on life, as well as making sure that all of C.H.E.S.T’s crimes is known to the world.”

The android seems to still be on guard, and Ren doesn’t blame him. So Ren takes a sip of his drink before giving the android his best smile.

“Before I ask you your name, or any question for that matter, know that you don’t have to answer them. As much as I would love to know who you are, you’re entitled to keep any information to yourself,” he says in hopes to make the man relax just a little bit at least.

The man nods, and makes no attempt to introduce himself.

The next smile Ren gives him is softer. “Is there something I can call you the very least? Can’t call you dude or android the whole time.”

Again, the man doesn’t attempt to speak.

Ren’s shoulders slump forward a bit as his ears twist backwards. “Okay then. I’ll call you Spring until you’ve given me something else to call you,” he says, and watches how the man reacts to the name. There’s no more reaction other than him watching Ren cautiously.

“So. That’s me. Any questions?”

Spring is silent, his mouth in a thigh line, and then-

“I want to be alone.”

Ren sighs, and leans back in the chair, almost tipping it over. “Sorry dude, no can do. Until Doc and Tango have made sure your body is functioning well, and you need an identification number in order to be able to move around in society without getting, like, arrested, you need to have someone with you.”

Spring frowns at that, and stares into his lap again, drink still not touched and tablet seemingly forgotten.

And Ren knows that this feels invasive, especially when you don’t trust the ones who're supposed to look after you. But it’s a rule put in place for a very good reason.

“But,” Ren continues after a little bit of silence, “I can leave the room.”

Spring looks up, confusion written all over his face.

Ren gestures towards the window close to the ceiling, and Spring follows his hand until he sees it. And goes stiff again as he sees Tango and Doc sitting by the window, not looking into it but having their backs to it, seemingly having a conversation between the two of them.

“This room has no cameras, no microphones, no motion detectors. It’s completely soundproof. The only thing that can monitor you is if someone sits behind that glass, and we will until we’re sure your body won’t suddenly break down on you.”

Spring looks back to Ren, and Ren tries to give him a reassuring smile, but it probably ends up looking more sad than anything.

“We won’t keep this strict watch for long, tops two weeks if your body is having troubles. And after you’ve gotten your identification number, you’re free to go wherever. But we want to help you, we really do. We can get you in touch with a therapist, arrange for you to have an apartment, help you get a stable life. Just-” Ren takes a deep breath, hands clenching around his own forgotten drink, “-let us know if you don’t want life anymore. We- no, I- want to bury you in that case. You deserve a funeral, however you want it. You, and your story, deserve to be remembered.”

As excited Ren always is to meet someone new, this is the hardest part of helping them into this modern world.[?]

Offer them a chance to actually die, not simply being suspended in an empty dataspace.

It’s still better than finding out that they ended it by themselves.

Spring is giving Ren a strange look, and to be fair, it is strange to offer to bury someone. Ren doesn’t blame him for it.

“I-” Spring starts, but cuts off himself. He shakes his head and Ren tilts his head to the side, watching as Spring comes to a conclusion.

“I would like to be alone,” Spring repeats, and Ren nods. Without much further aboe[?], Ren gets up from his chair, pulling his work bag over his shoulder with his free hand, and walks over to the door.

But there he pauses, and looks over his shoulder at Spring.

“By the way. Doc and Tango has never been associated with C.H.E.S.T, neither of them was even born when that organization got busted. Even if you don’t trust me, you can trust them.” With that, Ren leaves the room.

“You good?” Tango asks when Ren gets up into the viewing room, and all Ren can do is to let out a deep sigh.

“He got real bad trauma with C.H.E.S.T,” Ren says as he sits down by a chair furthest from the window. While he can’t leave, he will at least try to respect Spring’s privacy when Doc and Tango aren't there to keep watch.

Doc hums, and both he and Tango look through the window. “Isn’t surprising. We’ll take it slow then, try to give him as much privacy as we can,” Doc says as he tips his cup back, and then frowns as he removes it from his face. “Empty,” he grumbles, and places it on the floor.

“I’ll try to get his identification number as soon as possible, should get it at the end of the week if I pull the right strings,” Tango says with a nod.

Ren tunes out his two friends as they talk and plan how to go forward this coming week.

Seems like honesty straight out of the bag wasn’t the way to go this time. But then again, it’s hard to know what to do when you don’t know who will be waking up.

With another sigh, Ren takes a big gulp of his own drink. He’ll just keep watch from a distance then, and help Doc and Tango out whenever they need. It’s not the first time they had to work like this, nor will it be the last.

But he does wish that he would be able to help Spring better than this.

---

A week and a half. That’s what it takes until everything starts to fall into place.

It takes about a week for Doc to calibrate Spring’s body to not stumble when he moves too fast, and to give Spring a general look[?]. And then they just had to wait for the identification number, which Tango pushed hard for.

Ren had visited and invited Spring out for walks whenever Doc and Tango had allowed it, and he had pretended not to see when Spring was looking around and taking in their surroundings in more than just fascination with the scenery. These walks always felt a bit bittersweet to Ren, since Spring never seemed to relax during it, nor afterwards. In all honesty, it probably had to do with Ren himself, which he doesn’t blame Spring for.

But hopefully today would be different.

Ren runs a hand through his hair, and sighs heavily. The plan for today was to take Spring to the museum, both to show him how to use public transportation and how to navigate around the money system. He hopes everything goes well.

Steeling his nerves, Ren pushes open the door to Spring’s room, and smiles at the man when he looks up.

Unlike the first time Ren saw Spring, Spring now looked like an actual human. Instead of looking like a generic android, he now had blond hair pulled into a small ponytail, blue eyes and pale skin, with a hoodie over his torso and jeans on his legs.

“Hey there, Spring!” Ren says as he walks closer to the bed where Spring is sitting, fiddling with a book. Ren gives him a smile, but per usual Spring stays silent and warily watches Ren.

“I have good news for you. Your identification number should arrive very shortly, and thus we shall venture out further than the gardens today!”

Spring raises an eyebrow. “What?”

Ren grins, and pets his shoulder bag. “We’re heading to the museum today! You need to know how to transfer money as you soon will be released from here, and it’s easier if I just show you. And it will be nice to be outside this place, yes?”

That catches Spring’s attention, and he puts down the book on the nightstand. “So… we’re going to the museum so you can show me how to pay?”

“And to show you how society works [fix this?]

Ren glances over his shoulder at Spring, who was looking everywhere but at Ren. There’s a lot to see, considering that this is the first time they’ve been so far away from the facility, so Ren is just happy that Spring is still following him and not trying to bolt the moment he could like Ren thought he would.

There’s so much Ren wants to ask the man, but he bites his tongue as he focuses his eyes forward on the street ahead of them.

Or rather, the opening of the buildings and the street which gives space to a big open area with a lot of different statues lingering about.

“The museum is just ahead,” Ren says with a grin as he speeds up just a bit. As much as he loves helping people out, he has missed the museum and working on his own projects. But he’ll get back to them soon enough, Spring just needed his identification number after all before getting released.

“That’s. A lot of statues,” Spring says, and Ren slows down to walk beside Spring instead of ahead of him. It earns Ren a sideways glance.

“Eyup! The classic ones are on the left,” Ren says as he motions in front of them. “Not easy to see from this angle, I realize. Come on, we’ll see them better when we get on the main path!” Without thinking, Ren grabs Spring’s arm in excitement to drag him with him, but stops when Spring pulls back his arm just as quickly as Ren had grabbed it.

Ren looks back at Spring who’s staring at him with a blank look, arm held close.

“Oh, uh. Sorry, I forgot myself,” Ren says, ears pressed flat backwards in embarrassment.

Spring moves his eyes from Ren to look at something behind Ren, face just as blank as before. “You’re excited for the museum?” He asks, voice carefully [blank? other word]

Ren nods, and motions towards the statue garden in an invitation to start walking again. “Yes,” he begins as Spring starts moving, and he joins Spring, “how can I not be? It’s a great workplace, I have wonderful colleagues and it gives me the best chance to just learn about history! I always love showing off what we have.”

There’s a moment of silence before Spring speaks again. “I thought you worked at the facility?” [check when ren introduces himself]

“Not really,” Ren hums, steering the two of them towards the street that runs in the middle of the statue garden. As they get closer, it becomes more obvious that there are two different sections of statues.

“I mean, I help Doc and Tango out with like. Social stuff like this. Helping people get back into society. But that doesn’t exactly happen enough to be an actual job.” Ren shakes his head. “I’m a [curator?] and researcher at [hermit museum?]. If you want we can go past my exhibition, but honestly, that might not be a good idea.”

Spring glances at Ren before looking in front of them, the two finally entering the main street leading to the museum, statues on both sides of them.

“How come?”

“[I research the damage C.H.E.S.T has done to society and its victims,” Ren says, not reminding Spring that he had already told him this when he introduced himself.]

Spring stays silent, and Ren lest him digest what he just told him, before clearing his throat, and motioning to the left.

“But, yes, the classics! They are just copies of the originals of course, but it’s nice to have something more physical to look at as the guide books tell you about them, rather than a hologram,” Ren says with a grin, and it seems to snap Spring out of his head.

Then Ren motions towards the right. “And that’s modern art. Statues. Eh, yeah, not really my department, but if we bump into Xisuma[? check how many i wrote works here] he will happily tell you all about it. There’s more modern art inside, and more history stuff too.”

Spring nods, but stays silent until they reach the doors of the museum which has been propped open to let the cool summer winds into the building.

Ren waves at the android sitting at the reception desk, who only tilt its head in acknowledgement to his presence, but it gives Spring a smile when it notices him.

“Hi, and welcome to [hermit museum]. Would you like a map, or a recommendation on where to go?” It says, voice a tad flat.

“Oh great, need to tell [groundkeeper] that they need to fix up Lucy’s voice again,” Ren says with a sigh before turning to Spring who has stopped by the desk, hand stretched out for the map that he was offered.

“You don’t need the map if you don’t want it,” Ren says as Spring grabs it, before shrugging when Spring gives him a raised eyebrow. “Again, I work here, I know this museum almost better than Xisuma, and he’s the owner of the place.”

“I think I’ll take it anyway,” Spring mumbles, and tucks it into his hoodie.

“Alright,” Ren says, one ear flicking backwards before turning back. “So, where do you want to start? It’s a big place, and I’ll show you how to interact and activate the holograms, though I’m sure Tango has already given you that lesson.”

Ren smiles as Spring looks at him, and waits patiently as Spring brings out the map to look at instead of asking Ren what places there are.

“Uh. What about here?” Spring says as he points at his map, and Ren leans over to take a look at it.

“Ah,” Ren says with a grin, “the [department]. That’ll be fun. Now! On our way!” This time he refrains from grabbing Spring, and Spring follows after a brief moment just looking at Ren. Again, Ren is very excited.

Two hours goes by, in which more visitors arrived, but it was still a far cry from being crowded. Spring had been looking at some of the holograms, but nothing had really captured his interest for long, so Ren had continued to guide him through the building in hopes that Spring would find something.

Ren is walking backwards, facing Spring, as he talks about [ämne], having entered his guide mode.

He doesn’t keep track of where Spring’s eyes wander, so when Spring suddenly stops and fixates his gaze in one spot, it takes a moment for Ren to remember where in the building they are.

Ren slows to a stop, and glances towards the big, open archway which reveals some big plaques[?] with a lot of text and pictures on them.

The C.H.E.S.T exhibition.

Ren looks back at Spring who has not looked away from the archway, obviously having seen one of the plaques that has the words C.H.E.S.T on it.

“You want to go and take a look?” Ren says with a soft voice, and to his surprise, Spring nods and doesn’t wait for Ren to move, instead taking the lead properly for the first time this day. Ren follows and stays silent as Spring slowly walks into the exhibition, head constantly turning as if he’s trying to take in everything at once.

Spring stops at the closet plaque, and Ren slides up beside him.

“This part is mostly information about C.H.E.S.T. About who they were, their public front and shadow business, how they were able to trick the public, how it got discovered and its downfall,” Ren says, eyes staring at the C.H.E.S.T logo. Spring glances at him.

“Despite that it’s been [50 years?], there’s a lot we don’t know about this organization. I’m the main researcher on it around here, as the police stopped investigating some years ago, and other people who are researching this are doing so in other countries.” Ren cast his eyes down to the floor, trying to sort his thoughts. He doesn’t want to overwhelm Spring with all of this.

Spring turns his head around, taking in more of the room, before he looks back to the plaque in front of them. Then he reaches out to touch the button that activates the personal hologram.

Ren stays silent as Spring listens to the private hologram, and he follows him when Spring moves to the next.

They spend longer time in here than in any other exhibition. Spring stops at every plaque, and Ren lets him, ready to answer any questions Spring has. [allow ren to talk abt the lore i’ve come up with?]

But Spring doesn’t ask him anything. He simply watches and listens to the holograms, and then he moves on.

Ren doesn’t stop him until they start getting close to a smaller, but more decorated archway.

“Spring,” he says as he holds his hand up, stopping them both. Ren gives him a [soft?] look before motioning towards the archway. “I know you want to listen to the holograms but. Through that archway is the memorial. For all the victims of C.H.E.S.T. And since this will be personal for both you and me, I would like to talk about them,” he continues, bowing his head down. When he looks back up, Spring has a small frown on his face.

“You’re a C.H.E.S.T employee,” he says, and with a tone that indicates that he doesn’t think Ren should be allowed to.

“Ex-employee. And I worked in the public sector, not knowing what was going on.” Ren raises a hand to his own hand, and taps one of his ears that flicks away from the touch. “I’m as much of an android as you. I know you don’t trust me, but please. This is the way I can show these people respect. Please let me talk about them.”

Many emotions seem to cross Spring’s face, until eventually he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opens his eyes, he nods.

“Okay.”

Ren smiles as he straighteners his back. “Thank you,” he says, and takes a step to the side. He motions towards the archway. “Let’s begin.”

Spring takes the lead, but Ren is quick to end up walking beside him.

“These people,” Ren begins as they enter the memorial area, “are people who C.H.E.S.T have one way or another killed. Be it by mercanaries, tasked to take down who they consider enemies, or being forced into the datastream.”

It’s easy for Ren to slip into his [curator] role, and to forget why they’re here to begin with.

“[names] are some of the last victims that C.H.E.S.T caused[?] before the police and government started to crack down on them. In fact, most people here in the beginning section are later victims. Many of which were straight up killed as C.H.E.S.T tried to figure out who had betrayed them, not quite getting that there were too many people who were asking questions at this point. But there were quite a few that they sent into the datastream as well,” Ren says as he continues to slowly walk down the rows of plaques with pictures of different faces.

He stops as Martyn stops by a plaque and just looks at it.

“People who ended up in the datastream are people who we might be able to recover, as long as their data hasn’t been corrupted. Sadly it’s a too common recurrence that the data chips they reside in have been broken or rendered useless, so these are all we have left of them.” Ren looks ahead of them, eyes distant as he remembers waking up for the first time since being put in the datastream.

“Those who we’ve found to still be uncorrupted, we’ve given an android body and given a chance at life again. Most do not wish to be contacted, so please refrain from asking.”

Spring lets out a huff beside him, and Ren gives him a smile. “Apologize, there’s been a lot of people who ask to speak with them, so it just slipped out. Anyway.”

Spring shakes his head, and starts to walk down the row again, to which Ren falls in line with.

[reading up a few names?]

“As said, most people in this part were killed, and this ‘late stage’ started roughly 5 years before C.H.E.S.T was shut down,” Ren says, hands clasped behind his back. “Of course, that’s the official shut down. The police needed to hunt down underground sections for years after, but at least C.H.E.S.T didn’t have control of the public anymore.”

They cross a line on the floor, and Ren unclasps his hands and motions to the closest plaque, now sporting a different color in the background. “These people are more from the ‘middle stage’, for lack of better words, and many of them ended up in the datastream. We know this thanks to documents C.H.E.S.T kept, and we have found plenty of ‘resting chips’ as we have come to call them. Again, most of these are sadly corrupted, so a burial is all we have been able to give them.”

[more names? more walking around?]

As the room opens up [spreading?] into different paths for showing more plaques, Ren takes the lead, looking towards a wall, and slightly raised platform.

“These people,” Ren says as he comes to a halt in front of the display, “were a part of a group[name?] that tried to fight and stop C.H.E.S.T. It was created very early on, and was able to fight off C.H.E.S.T for a good amount of time, but sadly the targeted attacks became more and more intense. Too soon, many of these people disappeared.”

Ren lets his eyes trail over one picture at a time. “[name]. Viktor ‘Doc’ [name]. Martyn Littlewood. [name]. People who, at the time, just vanished to never be seen again.”

#treebark #m4ds writing #fun fact: this is roughly only halfway #:)

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merriepy · 1 year ago

Text

AUTUMN SUN

•. Sova x gn!Reader

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, oneshot

cw: slightly suggestive (?)

summary: After you've felt down for the past few days and now refuse to come out of your room, Sova decides to try to help you with your struggles

a/n: I've pretty much read every single Sova story on here so I needed to make my own because I'm starving qwq This story was also written with a fem!reader in mind but turned out to be gender neutral so I changed the tag after someone told me in the comments <3

Words: 1,5k

Your room was lit up by the soft evening light of the autumn sun. It wrapped everything in its soft, orange glow; everything except that heart of yours which was dyed in black. Truth was, you haven't been feeling great at all lately. You were so used to it that you didn't care anymore. Was there a particular reason why these feelings were stirring up inside of you? You couldn't tell anymore.

"(Y/N)?" you heard from behind the door. A voice so gentle and soft that it felt more like a melody; a melancholic melody as you acknowledged the concerned tone in his voice. You knew that you could just send him away, out of everyone in the Protocol he was by far the most respectful one and he would do as you say immediately. But you were longing for affection and comfort. So, despite immediately regretting your decision, you let him in.

Sova was the kind of person whose mere presence was enough to change the mood of the entire room. Whenever he was standing next to Brimstone during meetings his deadly calm aura would send shivers down your spine. And yet, he was by far one of the most caring people you've ever met in your life. He would commonly check up on everyone in the Protocol, and maybe that's why you didn't like him: because he was not only paying attention to you.

He walked over to your bed, and as you expected him to sit down on your bed and ask you if you wanted to talk to him he bent over the top part of your blanket and pulled it down until he could see your eyes. His smile was warm as always. "Sasha…" While checking the temperature on your forehead with his hand he made sure to keep eye contact with you. "I don't want to ask if you're okay 'cause… I mean it's pretty obvious that you're not fine." He took a step back from your bed, tilting his head a little bit while asking you silently with his eyes if you wanted him to leave or to stay. You felt tears rolling down your eyes as you visualized how the conversations might go with him and yet you still nodded, begging him to not leave you alone.

"Any space for me?" he asked and gave you another heartfelt smile. You knew that he was thanking you for trusting him and accepting his offer. After moving to the left side of the bed, you invited him to lie down next to you. He happily obliged.

You stayed quiet for some time and the awkward silence grew between you two. You didn't know what to say, you didn't know how to put this misery of yours into words, you didn't know how to start. And he could tell, especially since you didn't make any effort to hide your struggle. He placed his hand on your cheek and moved a little closer to you. "Deep breaths, Y/N." It still felt weird nowadays when people called you by your actual name and not your codename even though you and Sasha were always doing it when you were alone. "Take your time, I will wait for you."

Tears started to roll down your face. The comfort he gave you made you tear up as you were able to release the sorrow within you. "Sasha…" you cried out, wanting to thank him but not being able to properly produce a sentence between your sobs. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him. You placed your head carefully on his chest and calmed yourself down by listening to his heartbeat. While your tears slowly started to get less and less, Sasha placed his right hand on your head and slowly stroked over your hair.

"Is it really okay if I tell you about it?" you asked carefully without looking into his eyes out of shame. "I don't want to burden you with anything." Sova stopped his hand and moved it up to your chin. Gently, he shifted your head up so he could look into your eyes. "You're never a burden to me, darling." He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. The spot where he had laid his lips on your skin still felt comfortably warm and you wished that he would continue kissing you.

Tears rolled down your face once more as you told Sasha about everything that was bothering you recently. How you were always there for anybody and it felt like nobody had your back, how you felt like your friends were bonding over experiences you couldn't share, how the stress was getting to you physically and emotionally. During all of this, he stayed mostly silent and just let you talk about anything that you needed to get off your chest. He commented from time to time on your statements or he turned around to hand you a tissue from your nightstand.

"So I feel like I'm falling behind, you know? I just… don't want to be an outcast." Sova brushed the tears off your face with his fingers. "I understand," he said calmly, his hand still resting on your cheek. You suppressed the last few tears and smiled at the man next to you. "Thank you for being here, Sasha. And for… well, listening to my stuff," you mumbled with your voice still trembling. "I think I'm done now."

The man ran his fingers down your cheeks until his hands reached the back of your neck. He pulled you even closer until you could feel his breath on your lips. "I will always be there for you, (Y/N). And I will always listen to you and your struggles." Before you could reply, he had pressed his lips onto yours. You could taste his favorite tea through the kiss, as well as the passion he was holding for you. Your hand wrapped around his waist, pulling him even closer than he already was. The warmth of his presence made you feel so very much at ease that the last few painful tears ran down your face. Sasha quickly brushed them off your cheeks before pulling you on top of him.

You didn't expect such a sudden move from him and since he is pretty strong he had no problems placing you exactly where he wanted to. He grinned as he watched your flustered expression. His hands moved under your clothes but before he did anything else he looked at you. Your face was still a little red. "Do you want me to continue?" You felt how your heart picked up pace after hearing his words and you nodded quickly. You didn't want him to stop, under no circumstances. "Tell me if I'm going too far," he whispered into your ear before kissing your neck. His fingers ran down your sides, every movement making you feel better and better. Sova made sure to not come too close to your private parts and it made you feel comfortable knowing that he was so respectful of your boundaries. Your arms were still placed around his waist but you didn't want to move since everything was too perfect right now. He continued kissing your neck down to your shoulder and you just enjoyed it, taking in all those feelings that stirred up inside of you.

"Finally feeling better?" he asked as he pulled far enough away from you to properly keep up eye contact. His hands had stopped moving and he was now holding you in place; gently, yet somewhat protective. You just smiled happily. "Thank you for cheering me up, Sasha!" You firmly wrapped your arms around his hand and pressed your body against his with your head resting on his shoulders. He loosened his grip so you could move more freely. "I told you that I'm always here for you, my love." Sova looked outside the window, the autumn sun was about to fully fade away behind the trees. When his gaze had wandered back to you, he smiled warmly and gave you a quick kiss. "Because I love you, Y/N." You returned his soft smile and words of affirmation.

Sova stood up from your bed and reached his hand out for you. "What do you say, love? Wanna go outside and enjoy the rest of this beautiful evening?" A red blush hushed over your cheeks, flattered by his request despite everything that had happened earlier. You cherished that he wanted to spend that much time with you. By taking his hand you lifted yourself from your bed into the man's arms. "You're so cute, love~" he whispered into your ear. You passionately kissed him as a response to which he happily obliged. "I love you, Sasha," you told him after your kiss had ended and he had let go of you. He laughed softly and wrapped his left arm around your shoulder. "I love you just as much."

#「♡」 valorant #「♡」 sova #valorant #sova #Valorant x reader #sova x reader #sasha novikov #valorant agents #x reader #sova x you #oneshot #fluff #hurt/comfort #Valorant sova

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cosmicalls · 5 months ago

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oh my goodness thank you so much everyone for all the continued support on the og post 😭😭 i'm going very slowly but i honestly am thinking about this project all the time so i'm glad so many people also like the idea!!

as promised, here's some questions i have regarding the transition from screen to text. feel free to reblog or reply under this post, or even message me directly! i don't mind anything!

★ How do you all feel about deleted scenes?

(referring to these ones specifically, in case there's others i don't know of)

should they be added/kept or excluded? should some be kept and others not? and optionally: why do you think so?

★ How objective to the film should it be?

this one sounds crazy because obviously it should be the same. but i mean more about the depiction/treatment of women and borderline cultural appropriation - should loyalty to the film take priority? or could the rewrite benefit from something else in place of these things? or some secret third option?

it's a good film, but not without faults. i don't necessarily want to keep the less desirable aspects of it, but i also don't want to sacrifice elements that tie into important character arcs and such.

(just to be clear: i AM taking from the film! the only thing i plan to take from the book is a loose idea of how to break up the chapters. and i'm not even looking at the script)

★ How should this be released to the public?

this is REALLY far in the future so i'm not too worried about it yet haha

my only ideas are either posting to ao3 or sharing a google doc/drive link. if anyone knows of something else, please let me know and i'll definitely consider it 🙏 above all, i want to make this free for anyone to read and share!

★ "How can I help?"

i'm not intending to do this entirely solo; i'd love to eventually have some extra eyes and minds on deck to make this the best it can be! but knowing me, i'll wait as long as i can handle until i begin asking for assistance :,)

when the time comes, i'll reach out individually to people who express(ed) interest in helping out! but again, this will probably happen pretty far in the future.

in the meantime, i'm always open to input about absolutely anything, whether it was mentioned in this post or not! reply, message, send an ask, etc and i'll respond as quickly as i can! this goes for any questions you may have as well!

during this process i will give updates on general progress! at the time of writing this, i'm about halfway through typing down the events of the film and breaking it down into chapters (which is probably unnecessary, but it helps a lot with getting my bearings) - this is what im calling my outline. i might continue with the outline or i might begin properly writing a scene or two next, who knows.

i'm kind of completely winging it. i've never done anything like this before. i am being propelled by pure vibes. but i will commit to this and figure it out. "carpe diem, even if it kills me," if you will

if you made it here, thank you for reading this much too long wall of text! as always, i love the community's input and i'd also love to work up the courage to actually interact with some of you haha

#dead poets society #dps #dead poets fandom #still dont know what tags i should be using #dps fandom

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calliopefiction · 7 months ago

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I just finished playing the demo, and from the bottom of my heart, it's been a loooong while since I played such a good game, it's definitely in my top 3, if not number 1. I usually don't like games that don't explore the characters gender and sexuality, Misplaced is the first that treats it naturally that I actually feel like it's a common part of life rather than erasure. The characters are written beautifully, it feels like they're their own people, their flaws and beliefs that might go against the main character (because fundamentally it has nothing to do with them) feel like real struggles, you can feel the blind grief in the prince, the mage doesn't care what you think about her and is thoroughly true to herself and still cares for others in a way that doesn't feel artificial or naive. Don't even get me started on Vynn, I went through "their route" and the way I've cried multiple times it's not even funny, their friendship is so deep that I think I was able to understand the whole concept of queer platonic relationship through them, even without the romantic aspect, they love each other so deeply, they're the most important people in each others lives, there's no one else, they reached nirvana, what they have is unspeakable, unthinkable, you can only feel the depth. I decided I was going through their route before even playing cause I love a cute friends to lovers trope, and then I finish playing it getting a new achievement "forever changed by the force of their love" (that one scene that goes something like "is it a love song?""maybe, I haven't finished writing it yet" has changed my brain chemistry forever). I feel like I have a lot else to say about the game, but it's 3am and my brain is not functioning properly. Thank you so much for your hard work <3

This right here is my whole reason for writing - making you feel something, touching your hearts - it just makes me so happy to know that it's working. When it comes to the execution, you know the prose, and the structure, the choices and the coding, I feel like there's still a lot for me to improve and to work on. But I do pride myself a lot on the emotional core of the story, so reading this sort of comment just makes me smile from ear to ear.

I'm also really glad that Vynn and their relationship with the MC struck such a chord with you. Their dynamic is something special indeed, and the fact that they have so much history together that the reader doesn't know about adds to that. Even knowing that they're best friends from the get go, you still get to discover how deep their care for each other goes.

Anyway, that was a wonderful comment and it's making me want to work extra hard today!

#misplaced #misplaced if

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beannoss · 6 days ago

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People I’d like to know better

tagged by the very lovely @countrymint and @briefhottubcoffee 💕💖 yay! an opportunity to ramble-chat 🥳

Last song - Crane Wife 1 & 2 by the Decemberists

Hmmm I don't have too much to say on this one: I love The Decemberists, the story of the crane wife has long itched in my brain, and I love their take! Both Crane Wife songs end up on A LOT of my playlists, particularly ones for writing as I find them inspiring, and indeed this one came up on shuffle :3

Last book - Willful Subjects by Sara Ahmed

I’ve been prepping to apply for a PhD (SCREAM. Wish me luck!) and I have a lot of respect for much of Ahmed’s work and her contribution to my field, but haven't necessarily deeply connected with it in the way I have with the work of others. Willful Subjects is a different story! It's a fascinating study, compassionate look at willfulness and specifically how willfulness is actively punished and suppressed, to what purpose, and the affect that has on those deemed willful. It's a really interesting way to look at the topic of instilling values of obedience, particularly as a mode of pedagogy, what (negative) impact that has individually and socially, and I admire the way Ahmed thinks and writes about the subject. And it provides a really intriguing perspective around obedience and especially resistance which complements parts of what I'm hoping to research. It was an exciting find!

Last movie – I... don't remember!

I think it may have been Dirty Dancing? I was introducing it to my dad XD he hadn't seen it before and enjoyed it! \o/💃🕺

Last TV show –Spy x Family actually 😂

s2 came to Canadian Netflix so I’m giving it those viewing numbers! I just finished the cruise arc 😊😊😊 one thing that never ceases to delight me about SxF is that it continues to make me laugh, no matter how many times I've seen or read the joke. It's wonderful 🥰 Looking forward to s3 properly devastating me though 🙃🥲

Otherwise, Psych! Which is a hell of a lot of ridiculous fun, I missed it when it was broadcasting. It filmed in my home province so it also becomes one big game of “recognise where they’re filming when pretending British Columbia is California” 😆

Sweet/Savory/Spicy – Savoury! Then spicy and sweet are probably even, spicy poooossibly edging sweet out slightly

Relationship Status – single

Last thing I googled –

I'm putting together a bibliography for one of my referees so I was googling a few of the books I referenced since I was too lazy to get up to get the books 😂 thank you wikipedia editors for keeping various lists of publications up to date, in this instance enabling my laziness! (Especially since the books are literally 3 feet away from me 🤫)

Looking forward to –

most immediately, tuesday evening brings a weekly writing sesh with one of my closest friends; completing the application; the next chapter of SxF 👀; one of my best friends is visiting for a few days in March (!); finalising the next few chapters of it's only me; continuing various conversations with delightful fandom humans aaaaand whenever it next rains and I'm gunna cross fingers for snow, too! We haven't had any here yet 😤

Current obsession- Spy x Family is dominating 😆

No pressure tagging the following delightful people: @smolhours @buf309 @glittertattoosnotsogoodname and @yellowcrazycricket 🫶! and you, reading this! if you fancy it! Tag me if you do, I wanna read your answers 👀🤗!

#not sxf #or well vaguely since i ramble about it but you know~

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turpalauri · 1 month ago

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Then vs Now

Tagged by @robynostornwyn (thank you ! :D)

Uhh I have no idea who hasn't been tagged yet. If you're reading this and no one has tagged you, then now I have >:)

August/September 2022

Enjoy this masterpiece of a gpose ☆

I first tried out ffxiv in 2021 and my very first character was actually a femroe ! However, I didn't properly get into the game until spring 2022, when I created my current character on Zodiark (shoutout to other EU gamers !). Ena was originally an Elezen during my free trial days, but I immediately turned her into a Viera after I bought the game.

March 2023

I always had this nagging feeling that Ena was meant to be a femroe, and in March 2023 I finally pulled the trigger >:) Ena still looked very different, as she used face 2 instead of face 3 and was a Hellsguard instead of a Sea Wolf.

December 2024

Aaannd here she is now ! Face 2 on Ena never felt quite right, so I changed it when I started Endwalker at the beginning of this year. Her appearance has changed quite a lot, but hey she's still a redhead and pale as a ghost :') Her height has pretty much stayed the same too, since she was around 191 cm tall as a Viera, and now she's exactly 192 cm tall.

The hair I often used on Viera Ena was a bit buggy, so this is what she looked like from a distance :D Ty to my friend for the beautiful shot

Ena looks so short compared to most femroes D:

As I played through EW and 7.0 msq, Ena started to have an identity of her own instead of just being my avatar. And I know a lot of people have probably said this about their characters, but she has become super important to me C: Just like ffxiv and the community as a whole <3 At the moment, I don't use that many crimes to alter her appearance. In addition to some modded hairstyles and gear, I use the basic Bibo+ and a mod to make the blush look slightly different. She also has some subtle scars you can barely see x) I'm playing through the msq again and I'd like to try making my own scar mod for Ena, once I've come up with more lore for her !

#oops this turned out longer than i had anticipated #i didn't have many pics to choose from because i'm away from home :]#but this was fun !#ena the wol #ffxiv

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jacqulinetan · 10 months ago

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20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged!!!! thank you @ursae-minoris-world, you're truly so so kind to think of me.

I'll be real honest, I'm only on tumblr very intermittently and I don't really know how to use the platform at all. I'm scared that my formatting will be really messy and make people angry if I put a wall of text on their feed. So hopefully I figure out how to do the jump cut. But I just finished a fic so it's very fun to do one of these and talk about my writing. And I always like to see other people too, so I thought, hey I will give it a shot. Here's the questions:

How many works do you have on ao3? Right now I just finished my 74th work on ao3! Fifty four of those are vld, twenty four are sheith proper

2. What's your total word count on ao3? 993,716 words. I'm set to hit a million this year, I think!

3. What fandoms do you write for? LOL can you believe it? We're still loving Mr. Keith Voltron in the glorious year of our lord 2024

4. What are your top five fic by kudos? Oh well, my sk friends aren't going to be impressed--- my kl fics always take top spots for kudos and bookmarks. I attribute this not to talent or popularity but just because that side of the fandom has a much wider reach. For the sake of the questionnaire, I'll answer properly, in order: 'it's you that's haunting me' takes the top spot by a wide margin at 2,591 kudos to date. 'that mullet, etc' is currently at 1,788 kudos, and after that it's 'cross my heart,' 'swapping out silence,' and 'things that go bump in the night.'

5. Do you respond to comments? I do! for me, one of the best parts of fic is the community between authors and their audience. For the majority of my fandom life I've considered myself more of a reader than a writer, so I really treasure it when I leave a comment and an author responds. It's so special. As an author, I do respond to every comment, though sometimes it takes me a long time. I'm always so impressed that people are not only reading my words but digesting them and thinking on them too. It's wild to me. A very precious gift.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oh, my friend, that fic is yet to come. the wip I've got on my closest back burner has a real humdinger of an angsty ending. I'm excited about it. hmmmm if I had to answer now.....I'm not sure! usually I'm a happy ending kind of girl

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? well well well, now I have to answer this one properly don't I? Are we thinking happiest like 'biggest emotional pay off for the reader'? Or happiest like 'Keith is wildly happy' by the end? I think 'heart nailed open' has a very good emotional pay off (though I wrote it so perhaps I can't judge too well on behalf of the reader). If I am really thinking, in which fic is Keith truly the happiest he could ever be by the end...well, I try always to make Keith happy but, in 'the whole story' he has everything he could ever want AND a very nice couch.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not routinely. I did, actually, get a very nasty comment on a fic in 2023 and it legitimately hurt my feelings. Made me feel like I should not be writing at all, actually. But, can you believe it? Friends came out of the woodwork-- people I rarely talk to, even-- and jumped in my comments section and really defended me. like, I really had all kinds of people on my side, defending me! So that meant a lot to me, and I was honestly so surprised, and I'd like to give every one of those friends the kindest hand press because I really did feel very taken care of in the aftermath.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh, I don't know! I have plenty of E rated fics but I don't know if I will ever master a true PWP. to me, the sex scenes I write are not so original or exciting, nothing to really write home about lol. I'm not a fan of publicly being negative about my stuff, so I will simply say that I wish I could write some really off beat toe curling wild kink, but it's probably just not my personality to do so LOL

Is this getting really long?? should I be embarrassed ? should I close the tab and never think on this again? hmmm no

10. Do you write cross overs? Cross overs with what, my dear? There's only one Keith

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Oh I think 'it's you that's haunting me' strolled on over to wattpad or some such site without my permission back in the day, but I've never really looked into it. What I don't know cannot hurt me, right? I highly doubt that there's been some crazy highway robbery for perfchan words.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I don't think I have! But I did have someone ask to record a podfic for one of my stories, and I was so flattered and thrilled!!!!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope! I don't have much interest in this, I am very shy about my writing and I fear I would be too cagey to be a very good collaborator.

14. what's your all time favorite ship? Keith x Being Loved and Cherished the Way He Ought to Be

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? (covers face) I don't have any unfinished WIPs.... it's not in my Type A personality to leave things undone.....

16. What are your writing strengths? This is something to really ponder!!! What /are/ my strengths!!! huh!!! well. I figured out early on that my favorite things to write are atmospheric and setting heavy -- both my most popular fic (it's you that's haunting me) and my most personally beloved fic (heart nailed open) have this in common: they have a lot of detail about the setting, and a lot of effort put into ~vibes~ of the story. so I think, if I could be self indulgent and chose which writing bits I'm good at, it's that type of thing. I really like crafting a scene you can settle into with all of your senses

17. what are your writing weaknesses? too many to list!!! I very often read my own writing and I always enjoy it (I wrote it for myself afterall) but sometimes I wonder....why did I spend so long on this particular bit? I think I am not very good at making a story tight. I wish I could master the art of being able to 'trim the fat' so to speak, really be precise with the story, but I simply don't have the chops! I can never understand how to make it better than I already have! perhaps if I keep writing long enough, I will get better at this

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? this question would really open up a can of worms on the kl side of the fandom LOL. I will admit it, I've had Lance speak spanish a time or two. I don't speak spanish myself so in those rare instances I have been VERY careful to keep things straightforward and try really really hard to not be cringe worthy to native speakers

19. First fandom you wrote for? the first thing I posted online was a USUK fic in a hetalia LJ comm. I can distinctly remember the first time I ever read a fic with *there was only one bed* (it was usuk) and WHEN I TELL YOU MY EYES WERE OPENED. I was forever changed on that day. of course I wanted to try my hand at writing after that

20. Favorite fic you've written? You would ask me to chose a favorite of my children!!! Oh! I simply could not!!! No, seriously, it's 'heart nailed open.' I love that fic

This got so long !!!!!! I can't imagine anyone reading all this !!!!!!!! but omg if you did thank you!!!!!! I'm shy about tagging people in the best of times, and like I said at the very beginning, I am very very shaky on tumblr etiquette, so I had better not tag anyone. but if my friends enemytosleep or grem or kacy or monday happen to see this, I would be very excited to read your responses!!! okay bye!!

#perfchan #my writing #fanfiction meta

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