#I don't know if I have posted something similar

[iamthetruenhaz]

Disclaimer, this will be a mess. It's 2am, I can't English (I can't Bulgarian either), which means this will be incoherent and the thoughts will be like those of a caveman. Might edit later.

I don't know who Bell Hooks is but I've been seeing a lot of outrage about this post as well as similar posts (I think I've had some too.

The left's problem (mostly from women) is that it's seen as a given that if men feel hated enough, they'll fall into the alt right. So they respond with "if you get radicalized just by some women not being nice to you, you were misogynistic to begin with and we were right to be mean to you".

Which is only partially true. We have a saying in my language - kick a dog enough times and it will start biting. People snap. People react to what they see as unjust, undeserved abuse. Especially when they haven't identified their inborn or ingrown biases that they might not be aware of. (And before you say it, that's really hard to do because "biased person" is automatically taken to mean "bad person" and no one wants to see themselves as a bad person, you only overcome that painful shame by realizing that having biases is something very much human and doesn't in and of itself make you worse than most people, especially if you learn to examine and confront those biases). So people, including men, have a limit to what they can take before they snap. And there's the alt right just waiting to offer you a sense of purpose as a big strong alpha chad male, and put the blame on those evil, evil bad women.

But here's the thing. Two things, actually:

First thing, empathy. You see women being angry at men, all men - let's not pretend that in a moment of anger anyone bothers to make distinctions and avoid sweeping generalizations. Let's just be honest about that. Maybe it's because I always had a number of female friends, including my best friend, and thus was able to get female perspectives on things like MeToo, but it's essential to listen with the intent to understand. I know a lot of women say their male friends just turn a blind eye and start to be willfully blind to their issues but I guess you have to have "women are just as much people as I am and not fundamentally different" as an imperative on a subconscious level and somehow that's not always a given.

Second, critical thinking. Just because someone offers you some "comfort" and "purpose" or what have you, doesn't mean you can't look at them critically and see what they are really about (forgive me, I can't English, it's past midnight). Even if - actually ESPECIALLY IF - they start offering you comfort out of nothing.

I can't say I haven't been tempted to drop down that pipeline, I've felt resentful, unfairly blamed, mistreated. But the language, the attitude, the mindset in those communities, that always just put me off. I guess it comes down to what you really want - for people who hurt you to be hurt as you have been, or for no one to get hurt at all anymore.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[komaedalovemail]

komaedas have you tried straw.page?

(i hope you don't mind if i make a big ollllle webdev post off this!)

i have never tried straw.page but it looks similar to carrd and other WYSIWYG editors (which is unappealing to me, since i know html/css/js and want full control of the code. and can't hide secrets in code comments.....)

my 2 cents as a web designer is if you're looking to learn web design or host long-term web projects, WYSIWYG editors suck doodooass. you don't learn the basics of coding, someone else does it for you! however, if you're just looking to quickly host images, links to your other social medias, write text entries/blogposts, WYSIWYG can be nice.

toyhouse, tumblr, deviantart, a lot of sites implement WYSIWYG for their post editors as well, but then you can run into issues relying on their main site features for things like the search system, user profiles, comments, etc. but it can be nice to just login to your account and host your information in one place, especially on a platform that's geared towards that specific type of information. (toyhouse is a better example of this, since you have a lot of control of how your profile/character pages look, even without a premium account) carrd can be nice if you just want to say "here's where to find me on other sites," for example. but sometimes you want a full website!

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neocities hosting

currently, i host my website on neocities, but i would say the web2.0sphere has sucked some doodooass right now and i'm fiending for something better than it. it's a static web host, e.g. you can upload text, image, audio, and client-side (mostly javascript and css) files, and html pages. for the past few years, neocities' servers have gotten slower and slower and had total blackouts with no notices about why it's happening... and i'm realizing they host a lot of crypto sites that have crypto miners that eat up a ton of server resources. i don't think they're doing anything to limit bot or crypto mining activity and regular users are taking a hit.

↑ page 1 on neocitie's most viewed sites we find this site. this site has a crypto miner on it, just so i'm not making up claims without proof here. there is also a very populated #crypto tag on neocities (has porn in it tho so be warned...).

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dynamic/server-side web hosting

$5/mo for neocities premium seems cheap until you realize... The Beautiful World of Server-side Web Hosting!

client-side AKA static web hosting (neocities, geocities) means you can upload images, audio, video, and other files that do not interact with the server where the website is hosted, like html, css, and javascript. the user reading your webpage does not send any information to the server like a username, password, their favourite colour, etc. - any variables handled by scripts like javascript will be forgotten when the page is reloaded, since there's no way to save it to the web server. server-side AKA dynamic web hosting can utilize any script like php, ruby, python, or perl, and has an SQL database to store variables like the aforementioned that would have previously had nowhere to be stored.

there are many places in 2024 you can host a website for free, including: infinityfree (i use this for my test websites :B has tons of subdomains to choose from) [unlimited sites, 5gb/unlimited storage], googiehost [1 site, 1gb/1mb storage], freehostia [5 sites/1 database, 250mb storage], freehosting [1 site, 10gb/unlimited storage]

if you want more features like extra websites, more storage, a dedicated e-mail, PHP configuration, etc, you can look into paying a lil shmoney for web hosting: there's hostinger (this is my promocode so i get. shmoney. if you. um. 🗿🗿🗿) [$2.40-3.99+/mo, 100 sites/300 databases, 100gb storage, 25k visits/mo], a2hosting [$1.75-12.99+/mo, 1 site/5 databases, 10gb/1gb storage], and cloudways [$10-11+/mo, 25gb/1gb]. i'm seeing people say to stay away from godaddy and hostgator. before you purchase a plan, look up coupons, too! (i usually renew my plan ahead of time when hostinger runs good sales/coupons LOL)

here's a big webhost comparison chart from r/HostingHostel circa jan 2024.

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domain names

most of the free website hosts will give you a subdomain like yoursite.has-a-cool-website-69.org, and usually paid hosts expect you to bring your own domain name. i got my domain on namecheap (enticing registration prices, mid renewal prices), there's also porkbun, cloudflare, namesilo, and amazon route 53. don't use godaddy or squarespace. make sure you double check the promo price vs. the actual renewal price and don't get charged $120/mo when you thought it was $4/mo during a promo, certain TLDs (endings like .com, .org, .cool, etc) cost more and have a base price (.car costs $2,300?!?). look up coupons before you purchase these as well!

namecheap and porkbun offer something called "handshake domains," DO NOT BUY THESE. 🤣🤣🤣 they're usually cheaper and offer more appealing, hyper-specific endings like .iloveu, .8888, .catgirl, .dookie, .gethigh, .♥, .❣, and .✟. I WISH WE COULD HAVE THEM but they're literally unusable. in order to access a page using a handshake domain, you need to download a handshake resolver. every time the user connects to the site, they have to provide proof of work. aside from it being incredibly wasteful, you LITERALLY cannot just type in the URL and go to your own website, you need to download a handshake resolver, meaning everyday internet users cannot access your site.

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hosting a static site on a dynamic webhost

you can host a static (html/css/js only) website on a dynamic web server without having to learn PHP and SQL! if you're coming from somewhere like neocities, the only thing you need to do is configure your website's properties. your hosting service will probably have tutorials to follow for this, and possibly already did some steps for you. you need to point the nameserver to your domain, install an SSL certificate, and connect to your site using FTP for future uploads. FTP is a faster, alternative way to upload files to your website instead of your webhost's file upload system; programs like WinSCP or FileZilla can upload using FTP for you.

if you wanna learn PHP and SQL and really get into webdev, i wrote a forum post at Mysidia Adoptables here, tho it's sorted geared at the mysidia script library itself (Mysidia Adoptables is a free virtual pet site script, tiny community. go check it out!)

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file storage & backups

a problem i have run into a lot in my past like, 20 years of internet usage (/OLD) is that a site that is free, has a small community, and maybe sounds too good/cheap to be true, has a higher chance of going under. sometimes this happens to bigger sites like tinypic, photobucket, and imageshack, but for every site like that, there's like a million of baby sites that died with people's files. host your files/websites on a well-known site, or at least back it up and expect it to go under!

i used to host my images on something called "imgjoe" during the tinypic/imageshack era, it lasted about 3 years, and i lost everything hosted on there. more recently, komaedalovemail had its webpages hosted here on tumblr, and tumblr changed its UI so custom pages don't allow javascript, which prevented any new pages from being edited/added. another test site i made a couple years ago on hostinger's site called 000webhost went under/became a part of hostinger's paid-only plans, so i had to look very quickly for a new host or i'd lose my test site.

if you're broke like me, looking into physical file storage can be expensive. anything related to computers has gone through baaaaad inflation due to crypto, which again, I Freaquing Hate, and is killing mother nature. STOP MINING CRYPTO this is gonna be you in 1 year

...um i digress. ANYWAYS, you can archive your websites, which'll save your static assets on The Internet Archive (which could use your lovely donations right now btw), and/or archive.today (also taking donations). having a webhost service with lots of storage and automatic backups can be nice if you're worried about file loss or corruption, or just don't have enough storage on your computer at home!

if you're buying physical storage, be it hard drive, solid state drive, USB stick, whatever... get an actual brand like Western Digital or Seagate and don't fall for those cheap ones on Amazon that claim to have 8,000GB for $40 or you're going to spend 13 days in windows command prompt trying to repair the disk and thenthe power is gong to go out in your shit ass neighvborhood and you have to run it tagain and then Windows 10 tryes to update and itresets the /chkdsk agin while you're awayfrom town nad you're goig to start crytypting and kts just hnot going tot br the same aever agai nikt jus not ggiog to be the saeme

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further webhosting options

there are other Advanced options when it comes to web hosting. for example, you can physically own and run your own webserver, e.g. with a computer or a raspberry pi. r/selfhosted might be a good place if you're looking into that!

if you know or are learning PHP, SQL, and other server-side languages, you can host a webserver on your computer using something like XAMPP (Apache, MariaDB, PHP, & Perl) with minimal storage space (the latest version takes up a little under 1gb on my computer rn). then, you can test your website without needing an internet connection or worrying about finding a hosting plan that can support your project until you've set everything up!

there's also many PHP frameworks which can be useful for beginners and wizards of the web alike. WordPress is one which you're no doubt familiar with for creating blog posts, and Bluehost is a decent hosting service tailored to WordPress specifically. there's full frameworks like Laravel, CakePHP, and Slim, which will usually handle security, user authentication, web routing, and database interactions that you can build off of. Laravel in particular is noob-friendly imo, and is used by a large populace, and it has many tutorials, example sites built with it, and specific app frameworks.

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addendum: storing sensitive data

if you decide to host a server-side website, you'll most likely have a login/out functionality (user authentication), and have to store things like usernames, passwords, and e-mails. PLEASE don't launch your website until you're sure your site security is up to snuff!

when trying to check if your data is hackable... It's time to get into the Mind of a Hacker. OWASP has some good cheat sheets that list some of the bigger security concerns and how to mitigate them as a site owner, and you can look up filtered security issues on the Exploit Database.

this is kind of its own topic if you're coding a PHP website from scratch; most frameworks securely store sensitive data for you already. if you're writing your own PHP framework, refer to php.net's security articles and this guide on writing an .htaccess file.

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but. i be on that phone... :(

ok one thing i see about straw.page that seems nice is that it advertises the ability to make webpages from your phone. WYSIWYG editors in general are more capable of this. i only started looking into this yesterday, but there ARE source code editor apps for mobile devices! if you have a webhosting plan, you can download/upload assets/code from your phone and whatnot and code on the go. i downloaded Runecode for iphone. it might suck ass to keep typing those brackets.... we'll see..... but sometimes you're stuck in the car and you're like damn i wanna code my site GRRRR I WANNA CODE MY SITE!!!

↑ code written in Runecode, then uploaded to Hostinger. Runecode didn't tell me i forgot a semicolon but Hostinger did... i guess you can code from your webhost's file uploader on mobile but i don't trust them since they tend not to autosave or prompt you before closing, and if the wifi dies idk what happens to your code.

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ANYWAYS! HAPPY WEBSITE BUILDING~! HOPE THIS HELPS~!~!~!

-Mod 12 @eeyes

[cl-0v3r]

Im going to be really upset if MelJay does break up.

But I'm not worried about the breakup itself, but rather how insufferable THOSE people will be about it.

Considering how much this fandom loathes this ship and acts like it's venom, its safe to say they will be celebrating the breakup like there's no Tomorrow ESPECIALLY if Mel was the one to initiate the breakup, Jayce hate will fly through the roof and Mel will be mischarecterized to the power of 60. And not to mention the toxics will be annoying as fuck to MelJay lovers. Like, there's countless posts defending s1 Meljay right? Talking about how its not problematic and all of that, i know these mofos will come back to rub it all over your face if just the slightest bit of distancing happens between them.

I don't like most of the fandom very much, I've had similar experiences to this over on tiktok and I've seen it happen in twitter (of course) and discord and I wish not to see that again.

I don't want to see MelJay break up, or have relationship issues, because they're literally the loves of my life, my babies I swear. but I won't really deny it if it does happen, its the writers choices and there's going to be a proper reason why (its lowk not looking good for both of them so) i will PROBABLY eat everything up either way, and I won't stop shipping them, like, i can probably just stay focused on the s1 version of them or something.

But the people man, the people scare me so much, I'm not ready to fight for my life like I did s1 😭

So like, If I see the slightest bit of attitude, i'm blocking. Dramatic yes, its a fictional ship, yeah, I know, I don't care.

Also; no I will not be defending either of their actions if they had actually done something horrible (neither should anyone), and if they are toxic or become so, i will not glorify or try to excuse anything. I will try to enjoy whatever is given, a wrong stays a wrong even if I (or you) doesn't like it. I cannot change any outcomes.

[thedreadvampy]

At Meeting today we had a reflective post-worship meeting to share our feelings on Palestine and I was really sceptical tbh because as much as I believe in the Quaker approach to holding space I also. felt like having a sharing circle about your feelings about an actual genocide is unbelievably White Middle Class Leftist Woo?

except the thing is it turns out I really fucking needed that? like I don't think I've really found much space to just give voice to the fucking ANGER and HOPELESSNESS I feel about the fact that this is a thing being done on purpose, by a tiny group of people against the will of the vast majority, and because of that all our screaming and protesting and demanding and letter writing isn't doing shit but I don't have the personal wherewithal to be the kind of guy who risks years in prison to shut down an arms factory because I'm, you know. A coward. And that would make me a liability. and the fucking despair I'm having lately at how much is horrifically inhumanly fucked in our world, ON PURPOSE, and BY DESIGN, and how powerless it feels in the face of that. the grief is too big to feel and the anger has nowhere to go. and in the knowledge that demonstrative action is going to go ignored because politicians have made the active choice to continue this no matter what the people want, everything just starts to feel petty and performative and egotistical instead of meaningful, and I am struggling more and more to hold the faith that anything I do matters. like I know, in my heart and mind, that things m fighting for justice feels hopeless for years or decades or generations and it feels like nothing will change until it does, and it's on us to keep fighting for that. despair is a luxury we can't afford. But still. you can break yourself on this wall without making a dent and it's because this isn't Just Happening, specific people are making specific choices, on purpose and with the full knowledge of what they're doing, and what do you do with that????

anyway I cried a Lot and it was uhhhh it felt good to have done. it felt good to hold and be held by other people in similar places. is it embarrassingly sentimental and privileged to have a sharing circle about a genocide? yeah maybe but unfortunately there might be something to it, also.

[lastoneout]

As someone who is on a mood stabilizer(lamotrigine, in fact) what's happening to the people in these screenshots is not what happens to the average person who has hobbies and fandom-adjacent interests. My meds have never stopped me from loving with my whole chest, instead they simply give me the ability to balance my intense love of things with my real life wants and needs in a healthier way. They give me the ability to stop playing Minecraft before I give myself a migraine, or stop thinking about my OTP long enough that I can make a phone call and actually focus during it, that sort of thing. I don't stop having hyperfixations, I just am able to have one and also have a functional life too.

But these people were clearly missing something important in their lives that's place was filled by a truly unhealthy obsession(or like. had mold poisoning. that person is an outlier dw). They use the word hyperfixation but like, I don't think that's really what's going on. This isn't a bog standard hyperfixation on like Hero Academia or WWDITS, these were obsessions with real living celebrities, and fandoms for celebrities tend to take a dive into conspiratorial thinking and vague cult-y behavior REAL fast. Like, I mean, you can be a fan of a celebrity or band and be normal about it ofc, but I see the conspiratorial thinking pop up a lot more and faster in fandoms for real people. Genuinely combing over every single thing Taylor Swift has ever done or said 500 billion times to compile a dissertation on how she's been subliminally telling her fans for years now that's she's gay and attacking everyone who says otherwise because they don't get it and are just homophobes and like, fucking stalking and threatening her ex-boyfriends and spending every spare moment of every day posting about it with other people who are doing the same....that's not healthy. That's not a normal special interest or hyperfixation. That's clearly someone who is missing something crucial in their lives, be it connection with other people or stable brain chemistry or a community, and filling that hole with something similar but extremely dysfunctional shared with a community of people who are also unhealthily obsessed and thus promote and encourage unhealthy fixations and conspiratorial thinking at the expense of every single part of the rest of their lives. This is on the same level as like, someone's grandma who has always kinda been convinced Elvis' death was faked and in 2016 accidentally fell down the Q Anon rabbit hole, not someone who thinks about their blorbos holding hands before they fall asleep at night and is begging for someone to ask them about the tv show they're from so they can info-dump.

And like yeah fandoms can get you like that too, I've gotten too deep before and fallen in with conspiratorial thinking(almost always around ships tbh) and whenever I get out I feel pretty ashamed of letting that free dopamine and validation roller coaster make me act like someone I'm not, and ofc some fans will stalk and harass the people behind their favorite show or movie for ship validation or write up massive conspiracy boards about how "xyz ship is def endgame trust us see we connected the dots and we will destroy the lives of anyone who disagrees including the people who make the damn show" like I was at Phoenix Comic Con the year Andrew Hussie got mobbed(but not in the mob!! thankfully I didn't get caught up in all that!!), I know how fandoms can be, but overall what's happening in these images isn't something the average fan needs to worry about. If you aren't writing conspiracy boards about celebrities sexualities or an OTP and harassing the celebrities/creators about it, sending death threats to real people who disagree with your theory or like other ships, and spending every spare second of every day posting and talking about them to the point that you literally, physically, don't have time or energy for anything else then you don't need to worry about meds making you not like your favorite webcomic as much anymore. What these people are going through is framed through the lens of fandom, but was far closer to going to a Flat Earth Convention in terms of actual behavior and outcomes.

Your meds shouldn't make you stop liking things entirely. When I think about not liking things I genuinely loved as much as I used to I get a little sad because I miss them, when I think about getting riled up because I believed a show runner was specifically trying to spite ME I feel embarrassed, and I'm glad I stopped doing it and moved on to things that actually make me happy and aren't borderline conspiracy theories. That's the difference. These people aren't sad, they are straight up happy to be out, talking about how it's wild to look at the insane things they believed, and putting focus on how their lives are better now. They clearly don't miss these things because they've moved on. Or, in the case of the BTS person and probably the swifties, they still do like the artist or actor or band, they just aren't Obsessed(tm) with them to a truly unhealthy, world-view altering degree anymore. They can still love these artists and actors without that obsessive love taking over their entire lives.

So nah. The average fan does not need to worry about meds doing this to you. These people were outliers in unhealthy situations that improved when they got the things they were missing. That's almost certainly not what's going to happen to you.

(But also yeah even if you do find your interests changing, that's not always a bad thing. Interests change, we find new things to love all the time, it doesn't invalidate the joy we found and friendships we made to recognize that now we want to post about a different show or movie or comic. That's just how life is, we change.)

And if you don't like the way meds make you feel, you can tell your doctor and stop taking them. There are some meds out there that make me into a zombie that no longer cared about anything at all. And so I stopped taking them, told my doctor, and we worked something else out. Don't be afraid of change, but also, if it sucks hit the bricks.

[sugar-and-pearls]

Howdy ghouls, folks and dearie- ohs

My name is Hedone and I've been in this community for about three years now. I love it truly and wish never to be parted from it. But in that time I've noticed somethings. Like how it can be difficult to survive it, especially when your starting out I feel. So, to give back I made this;

This is your guide on how to make friends and survive the selfshipping community.

So with that out the way, there are some steps to survive.

Create -

In my view, self shipping is often a creative outlet as it is a comforting one. The ability to take a piece of media into my hands and shape it to my whims and will is often awe-inspiring. I'll admit it's easier to see it with other people than with ourselves.

So with this in mind - start off small, though if you want to go guns blazing you can do that too. It doesn't have to be a lot. If you feel embarrassed, don't be. If you are afraid then don't worry cus your definitely not alone there.

Often times it helps to make a promo. This way people who find you can know some quick facts; your title, your fos and any other bits of info you wish to give. Most people will want to know if you share an fo or not - whether this is in case they are uncomfortable with share or want to know if your comfortable with sharing. Whether you are or not is your choice.

'this user' boxes are a fun way to decorate and tell people about yourself. If your worried about how it looks, then make another one, there's no limit unless you make one. Some people make Cards for it. If that's intimidating, don't worry boo, this is Tumblr - you do you.

My first real post was about what it would be like my mind was like a house and what which fos would stay and which ones would come and go. I posted it three years ago and in all that time it has gotten 16 notes on it. Does that mean that I shouldn't have created it? no, no it doesn't. Because when I read it it makes me happy.

Do a gush post, make art, start 'reblog with your f/o' game, write stories, make a moodboard - start the flow on those creative juices.

interact -

I've seen a lot of people be nervous about talking to new people and I can tell you, I feel the same. Its daunting, talking to someone new and it can be awkward wading through the small talk. Most people are in the same boat as you; nervous and wishing to talk about their fos.

Instead of focusing on being popular, try and make friends instead, its much much more emotionally fulling than the first option. Find people with fos in the same source, and try and build it up from there. You'll find your weridos eventually - you just got to sieve though the rest first. You don't have to be best pals with everyone on there but be friendly.

If you recognise a character, why not send an ask? If you have a mutual in mind, why not try and talk with them? Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Doing content trades is a great way to interact with people (and boo if your worried or don't think your content is very good, don't be - we're all evolving here). Also if you can or just like to draw, you can make fanarts for a selfship you like or would like to be your mutual - like I said before, everyone on here just wants to talk about their fos here, all that is needed is a small push first.

With that in mind not everyone you talk to is going to like you, or interact the same way you do. Everyone has a style to themselves and that's ok - the trick is find someone who has the same, or a similar style as you. Even though we are interacting through a screen, remember that there is another person behind that screen; ask them how they're doing, what they're up to, if anything positive happen in their life.

Also be careful about the kinds of people you want to befriend- do they give back what you give first? Do they share your joy? You're bound to find many you click with, just be patient and don't give up - you got this 👍😊👍

Make Friends From All Walks Of The Community -

You'll never know who you're fandom buddy will be - Antis, proships, all are people and all have a different flavour to one another. Its up to you to pick. I've found that to survive here you have to lay roots. No man is an island after all. If you don't agree with a someone's ship or like it doesn't cost much to just be polite. Being considerate and kind to other people's selfships goes a long way round here.

Insecurity

Its pretty easy to feel intimidated by other's success. feeling like their ships are being validated while yours aren't (trust me here - I know what I speak of) but here's what you have to remember: We're all just people daydreaming about fictional characters - No one is better than you and you f/os will always love you!

This is one of the many reasons why building a foundation of fellow weridos is important, its good to have a someone that your able to lean on and vice versa.

But main point here is that no matter what, no one can take away your fos love for you nor your love for them. And if they try, flip them the 🖕 cus we don't give a 🦆

Karma -

I see a few newbies do this where they go onto someone's blog, reblog a game but not send in an ask from that game. If you reblog an ask game off of someone, sent in an ask from that game. Every little helps and it spreads the love around.

Tumblr is not like Instagram, likes are not the currency here. Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Leave a comment in the tags about the things you like or what you felt like when you saw it, send in an ask about their post.

Remember that even though we are interacting through a screen, there is another person behind that screen; Wishing for the same things as you do.

Take Breaks

It can be tiring on here, takes up a lot of energy so taking breaks can be good for you.

It's not like your fos are going to run away the second you turn your back - come away from Tumblr for a bit and reconnect with the outside, touch some grass, take a walk outside for a while. Its can be for as long as you like. I usually find that I like to take these breaks when I have things planned, so like if I'm going somewhere or have a thing planned I generally just try and stay off Tumblr for as long as I can, till I really want to.

If you feel like your abandoning your fos then why not take them with you? what would they say when your outside? How would they react? What would you say back? things like that.

Like with many of my posts, I doubt it will get much attraction. But if one person sees it and it helps them, then that's my dues paid, my contribute made. A very special thank you to @echoes-lighthouse @wisemins @hibiscus-ships @tex-treasures @missnaunet @vanilla-ending, @multyshipping for all your tips and helps with making this post.

With that said, thank you for reading this and if you never see me again

Merry Meet, Merry Part and Merry met Again.

[whimsicalish]

I've been thinking about why Art is such a comforting character to me and one of my recent posts and people's additions to it finally helped me put it into words I think.

I've seen people describe Art as terrifying and scary and creepy and their worst nightmare and I've seen people say Art is like one of their biggest fears- and I honestly don't find him scary and creepy at all.

I think it's because I'm neurodivergent and kinda see myself in him? Not the whole murder thing, obviously- but his mannerisms and how he just sticks out, how weird he seems to everyone around him. He doesn't fit in and he doesn't even try. He's very unapologetically himself (even if that includes him being all violent and evil 😭)

Him getting all excited over different stuff- whether that be seeing Santa or being excited to, you know, kill someone- it feels very familiar. I get so excited over the things I find interesting and fun.

David saying he sees Art as asexual, that anything sexual is very disconnected from Art for him, is another thing that makes him a really comforting character for me, as someone who is very much sex repulsed.

He also helps me with my intrusive thoughts in a weird way. My intrusive thoughts aren't really anything like the stuff we see in the terrifier movies, but they're still very upsetting for me and disturbing.

Having something that's disturbing like this in a similar way, where I know it's just fiction and isn't real and where I can somewhat enjoy it? It feels nice. Reminds me that my intrusive thoughts are just that- thoughts. They're not real. None of those thoughts are real and they're not going happen nor are they something that reflects me as a person.

Art the clown is such a weird comfort character and I'm honestly really thankful for the terrifier movies. They're funny and disgusting in the best way possible and Art the clown is a delight to watch being evil on screen.

[zeondraws]

It is 4AM in the morning, I should hit the bed asap. But I needed some time on my own tonight, because I've been supressing feelings way too much the past months. (Thought post about random thoughts, no clue if they make sense it's 5AM when I post this)

I found it really hard to talk to friends about my emotions as of recent. One reason might be, that I still suffer some pain I endured from the old work enviroment.

Somehow I often just want to be left alone, I feel very drained most of the time. But that often leads to a loop effect and I isolate myself further.

Like, at the old workplace I was expected to do something constantly, if I wasn't working on anything for over 3min I'd get scolded or yelled at. Or my coworker would become an adult baby and behave strangely. The other coworkers never saw anything wrong with him, so I was extremely afraid that everyone else had something against me. My old boss would side with him from time to time. The constant demand to stay productive was so draining.

In the end I got replaced, I mean I thankfully found a new job by then. But a new person came in, another inexperienced young person who seemed nice and all. Not sure how she is doing in that place, either she fits right in, or my coworker is making her endure the same pain, or he just overworks himself as he usually does. A person who had my job before I came, became extremely demotivated there and simply left to another workplace.

I try to explain this a bit to highlight some difficulties I am experiencing atm... I don't talk to family about my feelings that much. I tried but, they get easily offended if I vent too much. I have no called my dad back in a while, I already know when I call him back he will only be offended. Or maybe I am spiraling rn. My head makes things appear worse than they actually are.

You guys see how much stuff I have been doing on tumblr the past months or so. I don't remember how long it's been, but... I am still in this mindset of constantly working and staying productive. I rest when I can but I always get the feeling "I have to stay productive" and work on stuff, even when I am sick. In a way it helps to not fall into thoughht spirals, tho then I don't give myself enough space to rest.

I don't know what my end goal with this endless productivity is supposed to be, I want to be helpful in some way and feel like I belong somewhere. But even right now I feel like something is missing... I can't grasp this thought, I don't know what my end goal is. Been messing with fmodel so much to get the game work on this for datamining, I posted a thread on the fmodel server and they said the game is fully working with it. Which suprised me, that I was able to achieve that. Was I the first one to do so? I always thought there is someone better than me already. I often just think I will be some replaceable object, where someone else just takes my place. And this thought... spirals in a way- where I think very less of me. Stuff like I will be forgotten anyways or hmm someone better comes.

My family treated me like an object at times, not letting me decide what to do. Old coworker did the same and I am expected to just agree to everything they say. I tried extremely hard to fight back at the old workplace but I was always met with a wall.

Sometimes I would struggle venting to friends, because when I felt the lowest I get very clingy. I think when I saw Muir in game I noticed some similarity in him in me for example. Even tho I hate to admit that thought, but I have gotten way better at being less clingy. Maybe it's because I grew up a bit more. I definitely ain't the same like 4 years ago. But not to sidetrack too much... sometimes I would vent to friends and they'd bombard me with advice or, maybe some advice felt off for me. One friend once said that we're replaceable (job related) and that didn't sit right with me. Some of this advice would put me off so much that I would stop talking about my feelings with anyone, or just one small friendgroup. But I don't mention a lot there. I think... I think what I can see with myself is, I distance myself so much from everyone, I don't dm people to have a normal chat (I think I get very confused when I hear people dm each other all the time, what do people dm each other for...?I wouldn't know what to talk about), maybe I hang out on servers. I don't want to look at my main phone because suddenly so much makes me nervous again. I want to be alone the entire time and the meds stop some emotions from popping up.

So I have random outbursts where I would cry. and I really need to sit down after sleep and find a new group therapy.. today

I put ridiculous standards on myself sometimes, not wanting to appear weak and appear "professional". But my imagination of being professional is basically be emotionless and work without problems. Tho this doesn't make sense, perhaps I worry too much since I noticed some people really like what I do here. And I don't want to let people down in that regard. but I don't know how.

Earlier I was debating on wether it is strong if I show my weakness or if it's better to hide it. Tho hiding doesn't bring much for me, it's rather bad.

Yknow an earlier post where I mentioned I really like Roper? I get the feeling one of the reasons I find him interesting is, because the way he appears. He doesn't seem to show emotions that much, rather monotone and seems to be a hard working individual. Who sadly needs to do way more because Rennick makes things more difficult. Tho like, even if you see him in Marine Control later... he just suffers in silence. Ain't like Trots who went full bananas, or Muir feeling extremely anxious and all. Or Addair wanting to call his kids and Rennick just flat maniac. Roper just, sits there and tries to avoid saying much. Only thing he says is to keep Rennick away. Maybe the deleted soundfile of the scene says otherwise, but in my view it feels like idk he just ain't somebody who would talk about his feelings. Maybe Roper is some visual imagination of what I think a professional is, but I think he probably has different problems that could be way worse. Suppressing feelings is not good, I still have a lot to work on, on myself.

I am sadly getting too tired to continue this string of thoughts...I always feel very awkward posting my feelings on the web. I wouldn't know where else to thow them.

I will post something silly after sleep. I made some dumb screenshots ingame that literally made me giggle for half an hour ioudhwioeu. Okay, goodnight

[sampirism]

talkn bout my opinions on rook and varric and roleplay and feeling disconnected (roleplay in a game sense not the freaky sense. sorry) - SPOILERS FOR ENTIRE GAME, BEWARE. this post is WAY too long. sorry about that too.

it's very evident that bioware/EA wanted an action/adventure game first and an RPG second, but let me type at you.

i hate to say that i didn't feel particularly sad about varric's fate, due to the structure of the game. it is, in hindsight, completely obvious that he was not alive! i just hadn't been thinking about varric much at all the entire game because you have limited opportunity to talk to him in the infirmary or when he plops around barefoot when everyone decides to sit at a table and talk about how fucked we are. i genuinely forgot he was there otherwise.

he barely feels like a guy himself. because there's no personalized worldstate, any specific mentions to events or characters might be jarring to the player who may have made a different choice along the way.

no one talks about how sorry they are about varric because they CAN'T or the twist is completely revealed. even with another DA2 character in the game (who my hawke romanced. who is now dead in the fade. glad to see you're LIVING IT UP ISABELA!!! (I'm jk. a little.))

there's no response rook can say to condolences outside of "oh, thanks" without the game fully revealing its Twist, because "I'll tell him you said hi" and "he'll be up and walking in no time!" are only reasonable responses from a Mourn Watcher, and even then, should still cause your companions to be a little alarmed. the closest we get to this is the inquisitor making reference to lost friends, and rook visually registers it, but its swept under the rug and moved on from immediately.

(i know we're all mentally unwell in this lighthouse repressing our feelings but jesus christ)

despite spending two games with him and enjoying him as a character, I struggle with feeling much for his loss AS my rook, because i found there to be no meaningful connection between him and rook. i was only told i was supposed to have one.

the game wanted so badly get the ball rolling with an immediate threat, its at the expense of roleplay. you could argue that da2 and inq also started with Immediate Threats but you are also very limited in the choosing of your backstory in those games.

rook was deliberately designed to be more open-ended, with more similarity to origins, but still gave you a prequel where you felt what your life was before The World Began To End.

there's this conversation you can walk in on with lucanis and davrin, where they're talking about their worst jobs. there are three dialogue for rook I think and i can only remember two but they were "I don't want to talk about it" or "man I have the dreadwolf in my head". (I... honestly think the third option was very similar to the second one but I have a very bad memory. sorry)

i played a mourn watcher mage. i had to have done some messed up spirit stuff. some bone shenanigans. not able to mention my Down With Nobles rebellion at all. i halfway expected it to be revealed that my rook was just like a shitty pawn (haha) and actually all her memories are fake and not real. but obviously you meet people from your shared backstory and they do know OF you but they don't really know you

in mass effect 1, there were some unique missions related to both the backstory and psychological profile you picked for shepard. they were short, and nothing happens like that in 2+3 that i remember, but they are unique to your character and are something at least.

no one really asks you much more about yourself! mourn watcher rook is literally Found In The Crypts as an Infant, an incredible mystery that you have to fill in the blanks yourself, which could be something someone wants-- but i personally like my characters a little more predefined in a game such as dragon age. vague history worked for me in games like skyrim and fallout new vegas, even baldurs gate! but makes me feel wholly disconnected from the story and group here.

there was a fair amount of dialogue choices for mourn watcher, especially with Emmrich-- talking with emmrich was one of the few times my rook felt like A Person-- but there were other times that my companions seemed to think emmrich was the only necromancer/watcher on the team. (i even specialized in death caller!)

by containing all the dialogue with companions to ! markers and outings, it's weird to be unable to have any conversations without being able to provide personal insight, whereas some NPCs in inquisition actively asked you about your past.

its particularly noticeable because of lucanis, whom my rook romanced. the dude has a lot to say about nevarran culture and the necropolis and such, and we can have zero conversations on the matter lol.

maybe this is like, really a mourn watcher thing? maybe it feels better as a crow or a warden. but if you offer me the choice to be a freak crawling around in a tomb. i am going to be.

TLDR: i really feel that a prequel mission, a recruitment by varric then a timeskip, a personal quest tied to the consequences of your backstory, something, anything, to make rook feel like an actual part of the world, was a necessity and sincerely a missed opportunity. if you actually read this far, thanks!

[izabeladidelgado]

sponge cake recipe from 1954

including; filling recipe, strawberry version, and strawberry juice.

Izabela's note; sponge cakes can be made in many different ways, so for the entry i included about 6 different variations. All have a relatively similar result, but it's fun with variations <33

Measurements

1 dl - 0,47 cups, 100 milliliters, 3.38 ounces

[aka. 1.5] 1 1/2 - 0,625 cups, 150 milliliters, 5,07 ounces

[aka. 1.25] 1 1/4 - 0,52 cups, 125 milliliters, 4,22 ounces

2 dl - 0,84 cups, 200 milliliters, 6,76 ounces

Sponge cake

three egg cake

3 egg

1 1/4 - 1 1/2 dl sugar

1 1/2 - 2 dl all purpose flour

one tea spoon baking soda

four egg cake

4 eggs

2 dl sugar

1 dl all purpose flour

1 dl potato flour

four egg cake [version 2]

4 eggs

2 dl sugar

1 dl all purpose flour

1 dl potato flour

1 - 1/2 tea spoons baking soda

this may seem like an unnecessary entry [and it might as well be] but it's to put pressure on the fact that the amount of baking soda does determine a good part of the result. So try out recipes till you find one you like the most<3

five egg cake

5 eggs

1 3/4 dl sugar

3 dl all purpose flour

1 tea spoon baking soda

five egg cake [version 2]

5 eggs

3 dl sugar

1/2 dl water

4 dl all purpose flour

5 tea spoons baking soda

six egg cake

6 eggs

2 dl sugar

2 dl all purpose flour

1 1/2 dl potato flour

two teaspoons baking soda

Izabela's note 2; this translation from norwegian was done by hand, and not through google translate. So please don't hesitate to correct me, or ask if any confusion occurs.

Sponge cake is preferably cooked in a round form with a loose bottom part. Always butter the form well.

Whisk the eggs together first, then add sugar. Whisk it with force and quickly enough for a texture to be formed. With a good [electronic/automatic] whisp, this will take no more than 5 - 10 minutes.

Pour them in the flour [both types of multiple types are used] through a sieve, then the baking soda. Use a stirrer, and gently fold the flour through the mix. The mix must be as airy as possible.

Once finishes, and no clumps are seen, pour the mixture into the pre-buttered form. Put it in the oven at 180-200 degrees celsius, at the lowest rack. Then let it sit in there for about 40 minutes before checking it. If it's not finished or cooked to your preferences, put it back in, but id recommend no more than 60 minutes in total.

Remember - don't open the over for the first 20 minutes. As cold air may cause the cake to deflate.

if anyone might need instructions on how to cook the cake in a cold oven, let me know <3

Filling and slicing [be careful when working with knives]

Put the, now cooled down, sponge cake on a baking paper, use a thin and sharp knife and stick it into the top third part of the cake. Then carefully slice it open so the cake is decided into two parts. One being 2/3 of the cake, the top part being 1/3.

Then turn the cake and repeat the process on the bottom part, to the end up with 3, 1/3 parts.

Put the bottom and middle part and lightly coat them with a layer of either wine or strawberry juice in this case [recipe for this at the bottom].

Fill then the cake with whatever filling you'd like. The recipe for this will come at the bottom of the post.

The way the cake will then be constructed will look something as such;

Uncoated sponge-cake

Filling

Sponge cake

June Strawberry sponge cake [finishing touches]

After the sponge cake and filling itself has been constructed, as said, with strawberry juice, there are still some remaining things we can add to the cake for more strawberry additions.

An example of this can be to add some strawberries to the filling. Not necessarily a lot, but to me personally, it's a very nice and sweet touch to the cake.

Another option to consider might be to cut up strawberries, and use as decorative additives. Which is my personal favorite.

Yet another that has been used commonly in my family is to put thin strawberry slices between layers on the cake. Such a beautiful personal touch that i adore <3

Filling/Cover

3 dl whipped cream

1 table spoon sugar

1 table spoon vanilla extract

If the mixture is too thin/thick, there are other options.

Too thick; add some water, a few spoons at a time. A little water can go great lengths.

Too thin; Add powdered sugar, or even some potato flour if you're feeling bold. But keep in mind that this may affect the taste.

Strawberry juice

if you know how to make strawberry jam, you're already set. Though if you don't, then fear not, for i do.

for 1 portion [3 portions are recommended for the sponge cake]

Put a batch of strawberries, aboit 1.5 handfuls in a pot on medium heat. Use either a fork or potato musher to crush them to mush.

Pour in 1 dl of sugar to mixture once the strawberries are crushed.

As said, this is homemade strawberry jam. But this is filling we're making

Therefore, add 0,5 dl water to the pot.

Obviously, this is a free for trial and error space, so if you're not satisfied with the results, use cornstarch to thicken it [very little is needed] and water to make it thinner.

Izabela's note 3; The only words taken from the book is the measurements and recipes. Everything else is handwritten by myself.

Obviously credit is not needed at all, as i am not behind the recipe for the sponge cake.

tag: @angelblvd444 thank you for your request!! <33

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Stranger Things S5 Title Theories

Alright guys, I know that we were all expecting (and hoping for) a teaser. Believe, I wish we got one as well and we've been very patient. That being said, the episode titles do offer us some information about what could happen. Let's break it down (to the best of our abilities)!

The Crawl: Based on the script tease from the Duffers, I imagine we open with Will in the Upside Down and we learn more about how he survived. I can also see the episode focusing on much of the fallout from the ending of S4 and what Hawkins post Vecna looks like. Similar to the final season of the Bad Batch from Star Wars, we could see a time skip half way through this episode, showing just how much as changed since Vecna.

The Vanishing of ******: Holly Wheeler is the top contender for the blurred out name. Whether or not it's her, I have two theories. Theory number 1 is that the missing person is taken by Vecna into the Upside Down. Vecna does tell Nancy that he will kill her family and I can see him kidnapping someone close to her in order to mess with her. My other theory is that maybe they're still testing kids in a place like the lab. This one is more of a stretch. But we don't know what Linda Hamilton's role is yet.

The Turnbow Trap: While I'm not sure about this one, I do think this will be a mostly planning and action heavy episode. The kids do like setting traps and if they can get Vecna (or any other monster) in it, then it could be considered successful. Turnbow does sound like the name of something, family or company, so the trap is definitely connected to it somehow.

Sorcerer: My first thought was a Will-centric episode because Will dressed up as a wizard when he used his DnD alias "Will the Wise." It would be nice to explore his connection to the Upside Down more, especially now that Vecna is involved. Vecna and Will never met, but they do have some similarities with the biggest one being the Mindflayer. The First Shadow reveals that Henry was influenced by the Mindflayer, turning him into the evil man we know today. Will similarly was controlled by the Mindflayer. My other theory is that this episode is about Eleven. El is dubbed at the Party's mage, which is a spellcaster. It's highly possible we could see her try and go up against Vecna again only to disastrous results. What do you guys think?

Shock Jock: A shock jock is "a disc jockey on a talk-radio show who expresses opinions in a deliberately offensive or provocative way." Throughout the photos we'v been given, there's been a recurrent theme of the kids going to a radio building (?). I definitely think that the episode could be centered around the town, similar to what happened with Jason in S4.

Escape from Camazotz: This is the episode I'm probably most excited for. There are two theories I have regarding Camazotz. Camazotz refers to a "death bat" in Maya mythology. It symbolizes sacrifice so we could see someone dying to Vecna or another monster of the upside down. However, I personally think that this is episode where Max comes back. Max is currently in a coma right now and there are speculations that her mind is stuck in Vecna's mind lair. Camazotz is the name of the planet home to the malevolent entity the IT in "A Wrinkle in Time." Now, I've only seen the movie, but from what I remember, Camazotz is a strange place with strange people. It doesn't present as this evil looking place. Throughout the story, Meg and her brother Charles Wallace try to find their lost dad, who was imprisoned on Camazotz by the IT. The IT, an incredibly manipulative being, tries to stop our heroes and make them succumb to its will. Swinging back to Stranger Things, what if we see Max escaping from Vecna's mind lair. Vecna is like the IT and his lair is Camazotz. We could see El trying to go into her mind again and pulling her to safety. Or... it could just be the heroes fighting off some bat creature from the Upside Down, but I prefer the Max theory.

The Bridge: My first thought outside a literal bridge is a bridge between worlds. Maybe the heroes try and close the gap that currently connects the Upside Down to our world. And by doing so, traps Vecna here. If he can't go back and hide in the Upside Down, then maybe the heroes have a chance at beating him.

Rightside Up: The final battle between good and evil for our heroes of Hawkins. Everything is tested and there will be casualties. However, our heroes will come out triumphant in the end, with the threat of the Upside Down being gone permanently.

Anyways, those are my thoughts. What do you think will happen? I'd love to hear your theories and ideas!

[angelive-40]

[ID: A Reddit post flagged as "Question" and titled: Do my early years of unsupervized internet browsing as a kid count as "grooming"?

Body text reads: [CW: mentions of problematic media, incest, rape/abuse, underage sex, school bullying]

Hi again. It's my second post in a short span of time and I hope it is not bothersome in any way.

Lately I have been thinking about what probably contributed to turn me proship, which is having been left browsing the internet almost completely unsupervized starting from my middle school years (12-13 yo) in a time when the web was even less regulated than it is today (2005-2010).

To this day I still more or less clearly remember spending hourson the family computer to go play games on kid-friendly (more or less) flash games websites, watching videos on the early youtube, etc... but, I also remember stumbling upon hentai at a rather young age, and not the best kind. Thing is, I was too curious about it; it was something I didn't know about, because I was a teen, and I didn't have any sort of libido (I'm AFAB and I clearly remember I didn't even know until high school that female people could masturbate too). It really was just a novelty to me, and I kept searching for hentai, then porn, then kink, willingly. I remember playing hentai flash games starring canonically underage characters, or depicting abusive scenes, or even z00philia and gore... and I guess O didn't have the maturity to properly think about the gravity of it all at the time. I guess in my bullied undiagnosed-ADHD teenager brain it must have done something like "well, it's everywhere, it's not even hidden, therefore it must not be an issue." Because I was a teen, I got influenced and all that stuff got normalized in my head. I remember starting to write NSFW roleplays when I was 14. I have always been horribly eaaily influenceable, and now that I think about it, it almost comes out as obvious that there early years web scrolling, combined with the near-constent bullying in school must have fucked me up in the head real bad.

Is getting influenced at an early age by problematic sexual content online similar to grooming? I'm asking with honesty, because I do not want to come myself to a conclusion that might be wrong, and I don't want to accidentally pretend I was groomed when it is not the right term.

(As always, lurking proshippers please do not interact with me, thanks. 🌸) End ID]

not gonna int w them but i wanted to talk abt it. r/antiship sucks but i came across this post and i just.

why are they so ready and willing to blame the media they consume or the fandoms they become engrossed with rather than themselves or their parents for not monitoring them? the fact you discover this stuff at a young age does not mean it's the content's fault.

hentai didn't groom you, shotas didn't come to your house and make you sexualize them, lolis didn't force your parents to allow you to watch that stuff. even if you ARE uncomfortable with that stuff (which is fine! no one has to like the same things), it is your/your parents' duty to curate your online experience.

and i think we can all agree that (at least based on what they said above) they weren't groomed, right? you have no right to claim that you were groomed because you played a flash porn game. not only is that completely misusing the term, but it's making a mockery out of ACTUAL victims of grooming.

and, i'm sorry, but if you're saying that watching feral/guro/whatever porn normalized it in your head, then that says more about you than it does everyone else that likes that type of content. plenty of us consumed that stuff (and worse!) at young ages, but we knew it wasn't normal, or okay to act on IRL.

i'm just tired of seeing the "it was bad for me so it must be bad for everyone else!" thing. what's good for the gander ain't always good for the goose, and that's fine, but don't make it everyone else's problem.

[shouldprobablybereading]

Men swearing ideals: *Dramatic speech about protecting others and taking responsibility and upholding a bunch of moral virtues* may or may not be flying, dying or standing on top of a tower

Women swearing ideals: I killed a lot of people, journey before destination you bastard!

[epicfirestormer]

I'm so incredibly Normal about these two games.

[raticalshoez]

i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode

[biblically-accurate-dca]

KILL!!!!!!!!!