#I don't have the skills for anything better than google translate

[nunuisancenewt]

So according to a post on the EA forum 170 billion to 700 billion fish are farmed and fed to Chinese Perch each year.

For comparison, about 70 billion chickens are killed each year ( majority of farmed tetrapods), 111 billion fish are farmed for human consumption, and 35-150 billion fish are raised to be released to be fished later.

It’s crazy that it’s highly likely a giant portion of the global vertebrates farmed for food is to feed one genus of carnivore that is 0.5% of the fish farm output of 1 country.

Other carnivores like salmon will eat dead stuff, so we kill trillions? of wild fish to feed them ( and omnivores) maybe that's a more fare comparison than other farmed animals, (let me check statistics real quick)

OK so about 1.1-2.2 wild fish are caught and killed for food each year, and about 0.45-1.1 trillion become fish meal/oil (aka livestock feed) , so even compared to wild caught feed fish this is an absolutely huge number

Ok, so I knew that Fish farming was exponentially growing while the amount(weight) of fish caught has been stable for awhile, that plus the whole " fishing smaller/lower trophic level fish" trend thing, I assumed the feed share of caught fish/ total number of fish caught was growing or stable, But apparently not!https://fishcount.org.uk/studydatascreens/2016/fishcount_estimates_analysis.php in 1990-2007, about 0.98-2.75 trillion fish were caught each year, in 2007-2016 , it was 0.79-2.33 trillion fish, a reduction of 200-400 billion fish. ( because we are getting better at feeding farmed fish other stuff) (the decline in weight was much more mild/didn't happen cause we are talking about much smaller than mean fish)

This is almost entirely do to "feed fish" , Peruvian anchoveta, the most exploited vertebrate on the planet, make up most of the decline, 57-77% of the total. the rest is mostly made up by other "feed fish" like other anchovies, sardines, sand eels , capelin etc to. There combined weight fell from 14 million tons in 1999, to just 6 million tons in 2019.

So by my calculations in 1999-2007 "feed fish" were about 13.5 million tons, and in 2007-2016 about 9 million tons. if a decline of 300 billion fewer "feed' fish meant 4.5 million tons, than by 2016 it was likely "only" about 400 billion "feed" fish.

which would mean the number of farmed fish fed to Chinese perch (435 billion (probably mostly carp fry)) is likely larger than wild "feed fish" fed to farmed fish globally? that's crazy

so if it's 400 billion in 2016, what is it now? well fluctuations aside it seems to be declining rather linearly, and it's been about another 9 years, so lets say in 2025 it will be about, 100 billion, maybe? less than the number of fish farmed? and basically dead by 2030?

Ok , questionable projection aside, look at that decline! hundreds of billions of fewer feed fish! that's real progress, up against the hill of growing farmed fish numbers, with relatively little attention to it! I hope it continues. We really need to spend more advocacy points than we do here, Imagine If we could bury this trade in the ground! ( in particular Salmon are the most farmed fish in Europe, and contribute a large share being carnivores unlike tilapia/carp/catfish, salmon farming is also big in the vegan friendly Pacific northwest, and already in trouble for environmental reasons)

the Chinese perch trade meanwhile.. seems to be growing fast, atleast 1990-2010 https://thefishsite.com/articles/cultured-aquatic-species-mandarin-fish

But ..... while some of this is a shift to plants/byproducts, some of it is to crustaceans and insects.

about 113 billion krill (and growing fast, some also for Omega 3 pills) , 14.6 billion brine shrimp, and a smaller but unclear and possibly likely to grow number of insects https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Mr7XkanNbda0rqsI1Tluyl19bYNSvXbR/view

so, still a net improvement!

(while I'm at it I should probably mention the 0.085-2.1 billion rodents killed for reptile food each year, and the 1-10 billion fish used as "bait" in the US ( about 0.2-2.4 trillion globally then ?, but I bet it's higher than average in the US) . )

Before you get too optimistic, other invertebrates used for food eclipse the fish feed numbers.

-3.9 billion cephalopods ( increasing)

- 2.9-7.7 billion land snails(thankfully decreasing) (I bet marine snails like conches/whelks/abalone are higher),

- 0.42-1 trillion silk moths. ( increasing?)

-1-1.2 Trillion insects killed for food and feed and growing.

- 440 billion farmed shrimp(increasing) and 25 trillion wild shrimp (mostly Acetes shimp) (increasing?),

- 1.4-4.8 trillion adult honeybees at any moment, the most heavily farmed species on the planet and still increasing.

so this is a massive major improvement that is happening in Animal Welfare globally, impacting incomprehensible numbers of fish, It's doesn't change my "general pessimism" I'm afraid. The number of farmed animals, whose our impact on well being are clearly stronger than wild animals, is still growing rapidly. and the number of wild animals caught for food is likely increasing with the rise of the Acetes shrimp trade. And the total weight of fish caught has barely nudged, suggesting increasing catches of larger "food fish", and likely no decline of the fishing industry in the medium term even as farmed fish production rises.

Anyway I hope that EA post makes it to some Chinese animal rights advocates that can utilize that info somehow. the chinese perch are such a tiny share of the industry, not something giant like chickens or even tilapia, Imagine the impact a targeted campaign (public advocacy? corporate commitment/bans? ) by people with knowledge on the ground could produce.

[formula-nyoom]

Don't Get Squeezed | CL 16

Charles Leclerc x Sister!Driver!Reader

Summary: The unexpectedness of the Chinese Grand Prix brings the younger Leclerc sister placing higher than she's ever placed for the upcoming race. But with worries of a high placement and no experience racing this track, a crash seems like an inevitability.

A/N: Pardon my French(literally, I don’t know that much French and had to use google translate). While some would expect me to place this in Suzuka, I decided to go with China because I honestly had no expectations for that race and was stressed something bad was gonna happen the whole time. 

~~~

The Chinese Grand Prix seemed to have an air of tense unexpectedness. Having not raced the track since 2019, none of the teams knew what to expect from this race weekend. With new car regulation, updated track maintenance, and the fact that 5 drivers have never raced this track before, it was well known that anything could happen. 

Out of all the things, you never expected to qualify P10 at a track you’ve never raced before. It sounded like a miracle that you were able to fly your Haas into starting in the top 10. But while the team was proud of your efforts, you were very nervous.

 “I’ve never started in the Top 10, Char! I only know how to start from the back, and honestly I think I’d prefer it there since it’s easier to avoid first lap crashes from the back.” You said to your brother as you paced your hotel room.

“That’s not true. You started from the top 10 and even the front plenty of times in F2. How is this any different?” Charles asked. You scoffed.

“En quoi est-ce différent? It’s different because in F2 I had a good car and was constantly lapping the others. I still don’t know how I managed to get my Haas in front of Sir Lewis Hamilton today!” You exclaimed.

 “I don’t see what’s so surprising about you qualifying P10. That’s the same spot you ended the sprint race in.”

 “That’s because, in the sprint I was able to climb my way from the back.” You told him. Charles let out an exasperated sigh at your own self doubt. He could partially see why you were nervous. Starting in a much higher position than where you usually qualify puts more expectations on your shoulder to do better. They’re even higher expectations then the one you already have with being a Leclerc. But Charles knew that you could do well, not just because he was your older brother but because he’s seen you drive. You may start from the back often, but your racing skills are phenomenal to where you constantly end in the points. Even if you were to drop from P10 at the start of the race, Charles knew that you’d be able to work your way back up and higher. 

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Charles’ thought process was interrupted by a knock at the door. He walked over and opened it, being met by Arthur with bags of food in his hands.

“Arthur, can you please help me reassure our sister that she will do amazingly starting in P10?” Charles asked as he let his younger brother into the room.

 “Arthur, can you remind Charles that the only reason I did good in F2 was because I outperformed everyone with a good car?” You asked, taking the bag that was offered to you from Arthur.

“I’m confused. What’s going on?” Arthur asked as he set the other bags down. You sighed.

 “I don’t think it’s a good thing I’m starting in 10th place for tomorrow’s race, considering how I’m much more accustomed to starting in the back.” You explained.

 “I think she’ll be fine.” Charles said.

“What’s the main thing you’re worried about with being in the top 10 at the beginning?” Arthur asked.

 “Getting squeezed. Everyone at the front is always bunched up trying to overtake at the start. I’m worried that I’m gonna get stuck in the middle since I can’t pull back or move forward starting in 10th place.” It was a common worry, one you had during every race. But it seemed to be much bigger now with your current grid placement.

“So don’t get squeezed. Keep your elbows out but be mindful of your surroundings.” Arthur said nonchalantly. You let out an exasperated sigh at your brother’s response. Charles saw that Arthur’s response didn’t help you and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. 

 “Trust me (Y/N), as someone who has started in the top 10 multiple times, awareness of your surroundings is key. It may be tempting to overtake right from the start, but if you're that worried about possibly getting hit by someone, just remember to leave a gap.” He told you.

 “You’re one to talk about leaving gaps, Mr Inchedent.” You said, your own teasing managing to get you to smile. Charles sighed.

 “Peut-être que je te pousserai hors de la piste demain.(Maybe I’ll push you off the track tomorrow)” He mumbled. You laughed and threw a pillow at him.

 “Tu n'oserais pas!(You wouldn’t dare!)” You said, dodging the pillow that Charles threw back in your direction. 

~~~

The weather seemed to know how nervous you were and decided to make it worse by making it rain. It was only a drizzle, not hard enough to cancel the race. But every driver knew how unexpected wet conditions can be when racing. Even a drizzle can turn a driver’s race upside down. You’d just hoped you wouldn’t be one of them.

Before having to get into your cars, you and Charles managed to get away from your teams’ garages and give each other a hug for reassurance. It was your guys' tradition before each race. A promise that you would make it to the end. Arthur was able to join you two this time and you were glad that both of them were here. 

 “Don’t get squeezed.” Arthur said, giving you a shoulder pat before following Charles back to the Ferrari garage. If Arthur wasn’t Ferrari’s development driver, he would be in the Haas garage supporting you. But he had to settle for supporting both his siblings from only one team garage today. 

For the first time since joining F1, you slotted your car into the P10 spot after the formation lap while everyone waited for the lights to go out. You spotted your brother who was ahead of you in P2. You made eye contact with him through his car’s mirrors and gave him a thumbs up. Charles gave you a nod in return before you both directed your attention to the lights that were set to blink on at any moment.

Blink…Blink…Blink…Blink…Blink

The lights went out and everything roared to life. You slammed your foot on the throttle and your car cruised forward, steadily gaining speed. You immediately went to move to the outer edge of the approaching turn to hopefully avoid any front placement congestion.

 “Don’t get squeezed.” You thought to yourself.

A lot can happen on the first lap. Hell a lot can happen in the first turn.

You didn’t get squeezed going into turn one. Or turn two and 3. There was a bit of sliding on the track because of the wet conditions but you managed to get your car under control. It was the last turn, the turn that a lot of the drivers struggled with throughout the week, where everything went wrong.

You weren’t able to see who it was that was trying to overtake you. You felt the hit to the side of your car and could tell that it was too hard based on how fast you and the other car were going. But by then it was too late to break as your car started to spin out.

It’s when the ground switches from asphalt to gravel that the car starts to flip….

And flip…

And flip…

Your vision becomes a quick mixture of sky and ground as the car continues to roll. It’s too fast for you to properly brace for the impact with the barrier and all too quickly the only thing you see is darkness.

“Red Flag! Red Flag!” The voice of Charle’s race engineer quickly comes over the radio as he brakes going into turn one.

“What happened?” Charle’s asked, trying to split his attention between driving and whatever his engineer is going to say next.

“Return to the pits. We are trying to get more details and will update you once you’re in the pits.”

“Did someone crash? Tell me what happened.” Worry started to build up in his chest as multiple scenarios flashed through his mind, his sister a part of many of them.

 “There was a collision between an…Alpine…and a Haas.” 

Charles almost lost control of the car going into turn seven upon hearing what cars were involved but quickly recovered.

“Tell me it’s not (Y/N).” Charles demanded. “Please, tell me it’s not my sister that was involved.”

The silence from his race engineer seemed deafening. He probably knew that anything but the confirmation that his sister was safe could send Charles into a literal spiral on the track.

 “Come back to the pits Charles. Please.” It sounded like his race engineer was almost pleading with him and Charles reluctantly followed the orders and headed into the pit lane.

As soon as Charles’s car stopped in the Ferrari pitlane, he immediately got out of the car, not even taking the time to disengage his steering wheel. The pit crew tried to stop them but Charles pushed them away as he ran over to Haas garage. Charles’s hope rose when he saw the familiar white of a Haas car pull in, but it was quickly dashed when he saw that it wasn’t his sister pulling in, but her teammate. 

 Charles didn’t want to take that as confirmation that his sister was involved with the crash. He immediately ran over to the pit wall. His sister’s race engineer would tell him she was ok, right?

“(Y/N), are you ok?” Was the first thing Charles heard out of the engineer’s mouth. 

“Tell me my sister’s ok. She’s answering, right?” The race engineer barely glanced at the Ferrari driver, focusing more on getting a response from their own driver.

 “Are you ok? (Y/N) please respond.” The engineer said again. Charles wanted to take the engineer’s headset off, and ask that question himself. Hear his sister’s voice. Get confirmation that she was ok. But Charles’s eyes finally landed on one of the screens that was showing the replay of the crash.

You were approaching the last turn. For some reason Ocon decided to attempt an overtake when it was far too late and he got too close. His front wheel hit the side of your car, hard, causing you to violently spin. Charles' heart dropped into his stomach as he watched your car flip over and over on the gravel and it might as well have shattered when he watched your car harshly collide with the safety barrier.

“I’m getting no response.” Charles heard your engineer say to the team principal. Charles’ vision started to tunnel and all the noise around him became muffled. He didn’t even register that Arthur was now standing in front of him, trying to speak to him, but Charles didn’t hear anything.

His sister wasn’t responding

There was no movement from the car.

Is she breathing? She had to be? She had to be ok?

She’s alive right?

She was so worried about her placement and crashing. She wasn’t supposed to crash!

Charles’ brain betrays him as it thinks back to the one person he didn’t want to think about at this moment. This crash reminds him too much of Jules. It hits too close to home because the person in the car is his little sister. The little girl who was so enthusiastic about watching his karting races when he was younger. Who wanted to be just like her older brother and managed to race her way up the motorsports ladder. His little sister who made it into Formula 1 and who he gets to race alongside almost every weekend. 

Both of you knew from an early age the dangers of being a race car driver. But despite every crash, you’ve always managed to walk away from it. But all Charles saw was your car. Upside down and wedged in a barrier. There was no sign of movement from what little he could see of the driver’s seat, and you weren’t responding to your engineer. 

He couldn’t lose anyone else to this sport. Not after Jules…you had promised him that you would make it to the end-

“Charles!”

Charles snapped out of his panic state as Arthur yelled his name. He could tell now that he had begun to hyperventilate, and tried to calm his breathing.

 “They want you to try and talk to her.” Arthur said. “Maybe you can get a response.”

Charles numbly nodded and took the headset that was being offered to him. 

 “(Y/N), it’s Charlie…can you hear me? Are you ok?”

The silence was so loud.

“....(y/n)....(Y/N)!”

Consciousness slowly came back to you as you started to gain a sense of your surroundings. Your head was swimming and you couldn’t tell what was up or down. How did you get here? One second you were racing…and the next?

You had gotten squeezed.

“(Y/N)...can you hear me?” A voice came over your radio. Your arm trembled as you strained to press the radio button on your steering wheel. God, did everything hurt and you felt tears start to well up from the pain you felt. 

“Charles…” Your brother’s voice was the first thing you recognized. The one thing you could recognize in the darkness and confusion of your current predicament.

 “(Y/N)! Are you ok!” Charles asked over the radio. He sounded so worried and you mentally kicked yourself a bit knowing you were the cause of the worry.

“Charlie…everything hurts…I can’t move.” You told him. It was true. You felt trapped under your seatbelt and felt that one little movement would send pain throughout your whole body. 

 “Breathe sœur, breathe. Your car is upside down and wedged in the barrier. The safety marshals are trying to flip the car over to get you out right now.” Charles explained. That offered some comfort.  You listened to Charles' advice as you tried to take deep breaths. You moved your head a bit to try and get awareness of your surroundings, but even moving it an inch sent a wave of nausea through your body. You felt the car shake and braced your body as the car was flipped over and your vision was filled with daylight. You had to take in more deep breaths before you could lift your head and make eye contact with the safety marshal who was checking to see if you were ok. You managed to give them a thumbs up, a sign that you were conscious, and they immediately went to help you out of the car. Fans cheered as they saw you climb out of the car with assistance. Signs of relief seemed to echo throughout the pitlane and Charles and Arthur practically collapsed to their knees with relief at the sight of you alive and moving. Charles looked to the sky and placed a hand over his heart.

“Merci Jules…” He quietly whispered before hugging Arthur tight.

Despite the immense pain and the swimming feeling in your head, you managed to wave your hand to the closest grandstand, sending the fans a message that you were ok.  

Charles and Arthur watched as you were helped to the ambulance and placed on the stretcher. You would need to be taken to a hospital to assess any injuries and possibility of a concussion. Arthur told Charles that he would meet you at the hospital and call Lorenzo and Mama. Because despite everything that just happened…the race still needed to be finished. Charles would rather be in the ambulance with you than get back in his Ferrari and race on the same track that you had just crashed at. He wished the race didn’t need to be finished at all. But it had to. And if Charles had to race, then he was going to win. He was going to win for his little sister. 

~~~

Next to all the flowers and get well cards, on your hospital bedside table was a beautiful first place trophy. Charles barely stayed on the podium after receiving it, immediately heading to the hospital you were taken to once the celebrations were done. When he arrived, he was grateful to hear that you only had a sprained wrist, bruising and a concussion. He wished you weren’t injured at all, but compared to how crashes go, you got off on the better side. Charle’s sent another silent thank you to Jules, as doctor told him that the halo was one of the main things that prevented further injuries.

“I think I’ll purposely try to start from the back for the rest of the season.” You said while sitting up in your hospital bed playing Uno with Arthur. The doctors decided that you should stay overnight to monitor your concussion.

 “I think that may be a good idea.” Charles said as he sat next to you, watching the current card game take place. 

 “Or, you start on pole every race.  You don’t have to worry about being surrounded by the other cars if you’re already in the front.” Arthur said, placing a card down. 

 “Yea but then the only view Charles would get the whole race would be my rear wing and I don’t know if that’s a view he can enjoy every race.” You said. Charles rolled his eyes.

 “Maybe I should get the doctor to check your head again with all the nonsense you just spoke.” Charles said. “As I recall you’ve been chasing my rear wing throughout the seasons.”

 “Uno!” You declared, placing your second to last card down. “Please Charles, it’s only a matter of time before I beat you at a race. Like how I’m about to beat Arthur at this game.”

 “There’s no way you’re going to win. I know for a fact you don’t have any blues.” Arthur said, placing down a blue five. He gave you a sly smirk that quickly fell when you gave him one back. Without saying a word, you placed down a +4. 

[nattaphum]

Mileapo’s interview with WorldY [08/29/2023] - highlights

*translated by google from thai tweets*

MileApo talked about KinnPorsche and their direction after that

Apo: i don't feel that there is anything in me that has changed from the KinnPorsche era. Porsche is still in my flesh with his determination and ambition. When I finished playing KinnPorsche, I said to myself that I would no longer play roles that I didn’t like. I will only accept the roles that I feel like doing. Because during this lifetime from today until the last day, we don't even know when we’re gonna die, so I think that, from now on, I will only do what I want to do.

Mile: The more I listened, the more I understood in which direction my ideas were going. Now, like Apo, I just wants to play in the roles I’m interested in. Be with a team that feels comfortable while working and has the same passion.

Host: What has changed for you after becoming an actor?

Mile: it helped me to understand myself better, understand what comes in during filming and after filming, making it possible to increase my performance skills.

Host: Apo's near and long-range goal as an actor is…?

Apo: I want to be a world-class actor. If it happens or not, it doesn’t matter. But I just want to dream because I feel that dreaming is not a waste of money.

MileApo talked about ChatKhem

Mile: Chat is a calm person. He has high survival skills and can overcome any difficulties,

Apo: Khem is a good-looking and talented person, but people only pay attention to his appearance.

Apo gives 80-99% similarity between himself and Khem’s character. The other 1% may be the difference in the context of the social environment. Khem is not playful but bright and serious. The difference is about the impatience, Khem is more impatient.

Host: what kind of tv series/movie would you like to try in the future?

Mile and Apo both reply a ghost movie.

(Ps. In the past Mile said his dream was to act in a ghost movie and Apo said he wanted too but only to make Mile happy because Mile made Apo happy accepting to play in a period movie with him)

Apo: I often listen to ghost stories.

Mile: I listen to them often too 🌚

Host: What kind of fashion has Apo never tried but wants to try?

Apo: Drag, I never tried it.

The clip below seems insignificant but i think it means a lot <3.

Mile was talking seriously when Apo suddenly teased him by imitating his gesture. Mile was focused on the topic and his eyes were focused on the interviewers in front of him but he still hinted a smile to validate apo. This is sooo subtle but so important 🥹

On intimacy and closeness (x)

Host to Mile: what level of intimacy do you have with Apo, from 1 to 10?

Mile: more than 10

Host to Apo: what level of compatibility do you have with Mile, from 1 to 10?

Apo: more than 10 *laughs*

MileApo: *shake hands*

[itspronouncedtessa]

The "English or continental" debate is problematic and ultimately detrimental to the community.

Every time I see one of these "are you one or the other" posts, polls, tweets (Xcreets?), blogs, vlogs, whatevers, I get so annoyed. Undies fully twisted.

So indulge me and let's get into this.

First things first:

This is not an attack on pickers or throwers specifically. Any knitting style is valid. If the end result is even, non-twisted stitches that you enjoyed putting together, you're doing it right.

That said, I have 3 major gripes with the concept of "English vs continental" knitting:

1. The terminology. The terms "English" and "continental" were coined during WWII, as continental is actually German and the English were (rightly, at the time) uncomfortable doing anything the German way, or admitting that that way could be more efficient.

As we're about 80 years removed from the war, it might be time to accept that neither is objectively better and that German isn't a dirty word. We can, and should, use English and German, or throwing and picking respectively.

2. It's exclusionary to new knitters. The whole picking vs throwing discussion has made it so that new knitters don't know there are other options. If you're new to knitting, you get the impression that these are the only two options and if you can't do either, you can't knit.

Not to mention that the overwhelming majority of patterns and instructional videos are written or made exclusively for English or German methods. Which means if you want or need to use a different style, you need the additional step and skill of translating the pattern to fit your method. This requires a certain level of understanding of the underlying techniques that new knitters don't have. (Which is why I prefer charts, but that's a whole different rant.)

3. It's exclusionary to experienced knitters who don't pick or throw. The term continental for specifically German knitting dismisses all the other non-German European styles.

An incomplete list:

Eastern, or Russian, where you purl clockwise instead of counterclockwise, mounting the stitch backwards and knitting through the back loop on the right side. Creates the same stitch, but can be so much smoother to execute. Also very useful if you're doing rows of YO, ssk, as it eliminates the need to reorient the stitches before knitting them together.

Norwegian, where you purl without the need to bring the yarn fully forward. This is hard to describe in words, so I highly recommend googling for a video on Norwegian purls. It's a game changer for rib or seed stitch.

Portuguese, where you tension the yarn at the front of the work, looping it over your neck or through a pin. My personal preferred main method. Super helpful for those of us who lack finger strength to comfortably tension at the back. Makes purling a breeze.

Irish or lever knitting. Done with straight needles and (mostly) one-handed. Extremely helpful for people with disabilities. Also one of the fastest methods. You should check out videos on this, the speed is magical.

Flicking (not exactly regional), which is right handed but instead of throwing, you move the right needle to grab the yarn. Also difficult to explain, so check out some videos on this, too. Its a very quick method with minimal wrist movement. If you have the finger strength for tensioning it's worth practicing this, as it's so quick.

All of these are valid techniques, most of them are from continental Europe, none of them are included in the question "English or continental?".

And all of the above doesn't even get into the non-western, non-English, non-European styles there must be around the world, that I can't find through Google, because the English speaking world only uses the above mentioned methods.

Also, knitters that use other methods than picking or throwing are wildly underrepresented in the community, giving the knitting scene a culturally very white, western European image. Knitting could be a far more inclusive hobby if we'd embrace all styles.

In short, we need to change the question to "tell me about your technique" and learn from each other. Combining multiple methods (I use 3 or 4 interchangeably, depending on the pattern) can increase efficiency and enjoyment. And if you're struggling in any way, there might be a technique out there that better suits your needs. Asking about English vs continental isn't going to provide that information.

So tell me about your technique, especially if you use or know of any knitting methods that aren't western or European, I would LOVE to hear about that. Let's share and celebrate all the ways we knit.

[egg-emperor]

do you think Eggman actually wants to kill/torture sonic? The sonic channel says in eggmans bio that he doesn’t hate sonic deep down in his heart, does Eggman have morals??

That's what the Sonic Channel bio says with Google translate, which is the most unreliable form of translation and in this case very inaccurate for Eggman's character. I rely more on DeepL but it's having trouble with this, it just says "deep down he hates him" lol

But in more reliable translation it doesn't seem to state that he doesn't actually hate him, which I think is an important distinction to make. Here's an example of a human translation of that part, which is always better than a machine one:

"Tender" doesn't feel like a fitting word at all though. This is the absolute closest you've ever got to him being somewhat... affectionate?... towards Sonic in a genuine way in the games, I suppose:

I mean, he's saying he finds him admirable. And it's funny because this is as he's attempting to blow him up to kill him and really thinks he's succeeded this time. I guess you can say that's kind of affectionate in his own twisted way by declaring it in his send-off, that works lol

Now in his Origins bio, they're very clearly referring to this same aspect in that bio but with a huge rephrasing that feels muuuch more fitting than "tender":

You can tell because it's beat for beat with the whole "he wants to defeat Sonic, but deep down-" phrasing

In this case, kinship clearly refers to the feeling of "a sharing of characteristics/other similarities." (Not the other way in being related in a familial sense, no way in hell lol) This is a massive improvement, absolutely PERFECT phrasing Imo.

This makes a lot more sense because it has game evidence. I look at what's in the games to support any outside word. If there isn't any, I don't accept it, canon is what's in the source media/text, any word outside has to be at least heavily supported by/align with it.

This scene specifically has him explain his feelings on Sonic in his own words perfectly. You're not gonna get it from a better place than the horse's mouth. It also shows where I feel the "kinship" is:

It reaffirms that he absolutely does hate him and makes sure to specifically heavily emphasize it. You can hear it in his voice and it's not just in his words, he shows it in his actions, his dislike and threats aren't empty as he tries to outright hurt and kill Sonic all the time.

But it also shines more light on the way that he can also have respect for him, similarly to the way that he called him his admirable adversary in SA2. He can acknowledge that he has talent and admirable tenacity without liking him.

These are closest to "tender" they've gotten with him towards Sonic in canon if we're going to try assign anything to that at all. But again, I feel the rephrasing of it being him feeling a kinship is a lot more accurate with all things considered.

It fits perfectly because Eggman is exactly the same. He also has raw talent with his genius IQ and his creations and plans and tenacity to keep trying and never give up on his goals.

They've always been like two sides of the same coin, drastic opposites of traits in some aspects but also very similar in others, such as tenacity and skill level. This is what makes them perfect narrative foils to each other.

It shows they're a match in battle. Proves he's smart too in recognizing it, if he wasn't he wouldn't stand a chance against Sonic but instead he puts up the greatest fight of all villains and the one that still lives to fight again and again.

I talked a bit more about how even the way that they're opposites in themes yet can have an interesting overlap into almost similarities in the way they go about it at the same time in this post, which I feel is also worth mentioning.

Sage recognizes and praises Eggman's tenacity in the next cutscene they're together after he specifically mentions and praises Sonic for his, so she notices similarity between them too:

So to sum up my stance- the idea of it being "tenderness" on Eggman's part feels inaccurate too, unless you're saying it's like, the closest he can get in his own twisted way then sure lol. But it certainly isn't in the way that fits the genuine definition with the ways he's actually shown to feel and think about him.

I feel the words kinship and respect are the most accurate descriptors by definition though. He does indeed feel those towards him but he absolutely hates his guts at the same time. And that's what makes that Frontiers scene so good for summing it up so perfectly. I think it really is that simple at its core.

And he absolutely does hate him and makes it very clear constantly in the games, as recently as Frontiers, so it hasn't changed at all over time either. He's been very violent and shown eagerness and attempt various kinds of graphic injury and death to Sonic and often attempts to act on those threats.

He has taken great delight in Sonic seemingly meeting his demise twice, so it doesn't get any more blatant than that:

He has also been very unenthused and expressed disappointment when he survives his attempts to kill him multiple times:

Lol

And no, Eggman doesn't have any known good morals that ever limit him from doing anything bad and harmful in the games. His only limit is what results in the world he wants to rule being completely destroyed so he can no longer rule it, also the only reason he teams up to save the world, besides to save himself too of course.

Case in point- Eggman saying that he doesn't want to destroy the planet completely:

Yet also showing little care for the state of it when the damage is done, as long as there's still enough for him to conquer:

Sums it up because this is within the same game too, though there are many examples of this throughout the series. Where he'll cause mass amounts of destruction to get what he wants but if another bad guy threatens to completely destroy it to the point it ceases to exist so he can't rule it and of course puts him in danger, he'll team up to stop it.

He also tries to kill Sonic and co all the time, even characters as young as 8 and 6 and has no hesitation or remorse. Sage also hasn't changed this at all, as Dream Team is canon and takes place after Frontiers.

So if he doesn't have good moral standards that stop him from targeting actual children then yeah, makes sense for him to not have them anywhere else either. You can't really stoop any lower.

Which is why I think the concept of him torturing Sonic in Forces makes a lot of sense too. There's never been anything to say he wouldn't. Certainly not any moral limits. I can imagine he'd jump at the chance to torture Sonic in at least some way when he gets his hands on him for that long.

Eggman's character when broken down to its essentials are very simple. Hating Sonic is one of them. But his feelings and actions in how he actually goes about them are a lot more complex and complicated. In the way he's still able to recognize his ability and give him credit where it's due and have respect for him from a formidable adversary standpoint.

The man's got a point

Simple when it comes to his core traits, personality, and motives. Can be much more complex and complicated in his feelings and actions. That's what gives him such compelling depth to me. He's super interesting to analyze and it's so much more fun and eye opening when viewing his character with this nuance. He's not to be oversimplified or overcomplicated.

I like Eggman's dynamic with Sonic because it's not simplistic in the "he hates him so much he can't recognize and respect any of his abilities/skills" nor "he can recognize and respect any of his abilities/skills, so that means he doesn't really hate him". It's more complex and nuanced than that and I like it.

It shows he's smart when he can recognize and respect Sonic's skills so he can stand a chance against him. It also benefits him by proving his intelligence and strength in being able to continue to challenge him after all this time, so it's a way for him to take pride in it too.

If he denied them, it would also make himself look weak for being able to defeat him but he's far from it. If Sonic wasn't as strong and skilled as he is, Eggman would easily be able to take over the world. He proved it in Forces, if it wasn't for Sonic it would've been a permanent victory.

Having a powerful enemy proves he's a powerful threat. Having what it takes to take on a guy who's been able to kill beings of god-like power says a lot about his own too, so acknowledging it benefits himself in multiple ways and that's always an important factor when it comes to him lol

The Sonic Channel commentary at the end of this Sonic and Eggman cover story describes Eggman's feelings on Sonic and their roles in each other's lives perfectly (excerpt from the "what really entertains him" section):

I also like how it notes that Eggman can enjoy the thrill of the battles as he is seen having as great of a time with it as often as he can be fueled by rage during them. Just like Sonic can too, another of their similarities there 💜

[cheesy09]

[CN] Kiro's Unbiased Mirroring Mind's Quest (Part 1)

🌸 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date that hasn't been released on the EN server yet! 🌸

[Note: This date was translated with the help of Google Translate :>]

Note: In order to better engage with this date, please read the main story (Season 1 at least), Clinic Date, and Unconditional Surrender Mind's Quest :>

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[PART 1]

Kiro: Hiss--

I apply the ointment to the long and narrow wound on his arm. The brightly-colored cut looks particularly shocking against Kiro's fair skin.

Kiro frowns with an exaggerated expression, his blue eyes moist from being wronged.

Kiro: Be a little gentler.

MC: Cut the act. Hmph.

MC: The current pain is your punishment for secretly fighting the bad guys again!

I deliberately put on a cold front, but when I bring down the cotton swab again, I am still three points gentler.

Recently, it's been pretty rare for Kiro and I to get a few days off to relax at the same time. And just as we were about to spend a leisurely time together, the letter S with its sharp hook came to disturb us.

I had already been super depressed since our vacation had been interrupted by BS, but I never expected Kiro to come back with an injury!

It was so unfair! So infuriating!

Seeing my frown deepen further and further, Kiro quickly raises his other hand and gently strokes my cheek.

Kiro: This injury was really an accident. I promise, I won't use force to solve the problem next time!

MC: It's not a matter of force, it's...

I bite my lower lip, slightly distressed, and raise my eyes to look at him.

MC: I know that there a lot of troublesome things that you have to deal with at BS.

MC: But you're already their boss. Aren't there some things that you can assign to your subordinates?

MC: Kiro, I'm really worried about you.

Kiro: ......

Kiro slightly parts open his lips, then purses them again.

His hand slips from my chin and gently covers the back of my hand.

Kiro: I get what you mean. I promise I'll do that next time.

MC: There are too many things you "promise to do next time". I need to get you to swear it.

I purse my lips and stretch out my fingers towards him. Kiro laughs, hooks my finger, and gently presses the pad of his thumb against it.

By the time the last wound was taken care of, it was getting late.

I pat the fluffy quilt and pull Kiro onto the bed.

Kiro: Wait, are we going to sleep at this hour?

MC: Of course. The wounded must rest well so that the wound can heal quickly.

Kiro: That's fine, but...

Kiro's tone seems hesitant. He glances at the time.

Kiro: Can you wake me up in three hours?

MC: Huh? Is there something else you need to do?

Kiro: The time for the limited time event of that game we were recently playing is in three hours from now. I want to beat the event.

MC: Kiro.

I groan angrily and glare at him.

MC: Article 197 of the Kiro-Chips Code - The wounded are not allowed to play games!

Kiro: But I'm only missing the last five percent of my mission. I'm begging the best Miss Chips in the world...

Kiro: Don't you trust the efficiency of my skills? I'll complete it in no time, then lie down and get a good rest!

Here comes this trick again. As long as he uses that tone and the words "best Miss Chips", there's nothing I can do against him.

MC: ...Fine, then I'll supervise you.

Kiro cheers and quickly gets into bed, sleeping in a more elaborate posture than that of a prince in a fairy tale movie.

Perhaps it's because his tense nerves relaxed so completely after sustaining an injury. After he lays down and we don't say anything, his long eyelashes stop trembling and his breathing slows down.

MC: ...Looks like he was really tired.

I gently tuck him in, then sit on the sofa nearby and start doing my own thing.

The night gradually thickens and three hours fly by quickly. I press the vibrating reminder on my phone and turn my eyes to the bed.

MC: Kiro, please get up...

Kiro: ......

The response I receive is even, shallow breathing.

I move closer, lean against the pillow and lower my voice.

MC: Didn't you say you had to complete a task? It's time to wake up.

Kiro: Mm...

Kiro just frowns slightly and then stops responding.

MC: Anyway, I know your account and password, how about... I just help you complete the task?

MC: As for you, just sleep peacefully.

I poke Kiro's cheek, move the computer to his side and log into the game.

I had also wanted to participate in this event during the early stages, but I couldn't stand the high difficulty level. So I just got a few basic rewards and then called it a day.

Kiro, on the other had, has been soaring through the event rankings with great vigor, and now has a score that is beyond my reach.

MC: Hiss... why do I feel that the higher the points, the more difficult the monsters become to defeat...

MC: AHHHHHH, don't steal my mission items--

MC: Only 5 points? Why?

My tiny avatar was jumping around the screen like a newbie, not at all as gorgeous and elegant as when its being controlled my Kiro.

When I finally finish a wave of tasks, the points progress bar moves forward only a little.

The unsatisfactory progress of the mission makes me purse my lips tightly, and the noisy sound effects of the game leave me more and more frustrated.

I simply mute the game and take off my headphones.

Silence returns to my ears, only the sounds of Kiro and I breathing are intertwined in the square inch of space.

After operating the avatar to complete another task, I can't help but look down at him.

Perhaps it's because the new bandage on his arm made him uncomfortable, but Kiro's sleeping face isn't as peaceful as it usually is, and his brows are slightly wrinkled.

I reach out my hand, attempting to smooth out the wrinkles.

Kiro: MC...

With my fingertips still hovering in the air, a soft voice spills from Kiro's mouth.

Kiro: Stay with me...

In an instant, his whispers seem to melt my heart and turn it into mush.

I put away my fingers, lean over, and quietly replace the touch with a kiss.

MC: I'll quickly complete this task, and come to accompany you in your dreams.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[PART 2]

Kiro: [inhaling sharply] ...!

MC: Hm?

The sound of inhalation pulls me out of my sleep. I rub my eyes and look at the person next to me.

Kiro is already sitting up, but for some reason, he doesn't seem to be moving. He just stares ahead in a daze.

After a moment, he turns his head hesitantly.

Kiro: What time is it now?

MC: Huh? Let me see... it's half past eight.

Kiro: Eight thirty... you - you didn't wake me up yesterday?

I don't react until I sense him stammering a bit as he speaks.

MC: Oh, about that!

I sit up and point to the laptop on the bedside table.

MC: Don't worry, I helped you finish the mission.

MC: Don't say I didn't wake you up. I called you twice but you didn't respond--

Before I finish speaking, the corners of Kiro's mouth that were previously frozen in place, suddenly rise. He cheers and rushes towards me.

Kiro: Miss Chips, you're amazing! Mua! Ouch, my arm...

When an indulgent kiss falls on my face, Kiro's nose wrinkles again from the pain.

I burst out laughing, press my forehead against his and give him a soothing kiss on the tip of his nose.

Kiro: Was it tiring?

MC: Fortunately, it was just a bit difficult~

Kiro: But if you helped me with the task, wouldn't you have already discovered the surprise I wanted to give you?

MC: Surprise? What surprise?

Kiro's expression suddenly freezes and he lets out a sigh.

Kiro: Didn't you finish it? You should have discovered that the prize redeemed using the points from first place is the limited-edition skin you really wanted but couldn't get.

MC: .....

MC: Ki-Kiro...

Kiro: Wha-what is it...?

MC: If I tell you that I shut down the device directly after finishing the event, is there any way to retrieve it?

Kiro: Well...

Kiro's expression remains frozen for a long time before he stiffly straightens up.

Kiro: Let's go online and take a look.

We re-log into the game with one last glimmer of hope, but reality proves to be an icy bucket of water poured onto us.

MC: The redemption deadline was 5 a.m.

Looking at the closed grey game store, and a great feeling of depression invaded my heart.

MC: Sorry...

Kiro: Hm?

MC: I wanted to help you, but I didn't finish it to the end... I wasted so many points...

MC: If I had woken you up yesterday, this situation wouldn't have happened. It's all my fault for acting too smart.

Kiro: MC, don't say that.

Kiro interrupts my triad and stretches out his hand to cup my cheek.

Kiro: It's just a prop in the game, and it was meant for you.

Kiro: If you're sad because you missed it, wouldn't that be against my wishes?

MC: Do you really not blame me?

Kiro: Why should I blame you?

The hand holding me exerts a little more force, as if to hold up my falling emotions.

Kiro: I know you wanted me to get a good rest. It's not in line with the "Kiro-Chips Code" to get up and play games after sleeping for three hours.

Kiro: If you're in a bad mood, let's not touch the computer for a day and go out and have some fun.

Kiro caresses my cheek again. Just as he is about to get up from the bed, I abruptly reach out and pull his sleeve again.

MC: What about you?

MC: Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

Kiro: Me?

The corners of Kiro's mouth condense slightly and then rise up into a familiar arc.

Kiro: The Miss Chips I know wouldn't have such a conflicted look on her face

Kiro: Having said that, I don't care anymore.

Kiro: If you're upset, let's visit the most delightful amusement park in the world!

MC: ...Mm, okay.

Do you really not care?

I know how long Kiro had been saving those points for. If all of my hard work had been wasted like this, I would've probably been depressed for at least ten days and a half.

But now Kiro is acting like this. I feel like if I continue to aske questions, he'll just show-off his "indifference" even more.

Was there any way to resolve this?

I take in a long breath and open the quilt.

If he really intends to hide his frustration in his heart, then I'll try my best to make him happy all day long!

-

We stand at the entrance of the amusement park and the bustling crowd forms a noisy sea, almost drowning out the the sounds of the park rides.

MC: Which one do you want to go on?

Kiro pulls down his mask and answers without thinking.

Kiro: The Magic Flight of course!

I take a look at the queueing time for the Magic Flight shown on the map and take in a breath.

MC: Two hours...

I reluctantly search for fast passes, but because our trip was an impromptu one, and since we arrived late, all VIP tickets were sold out.

Kiro: ...Forget it, let's do what you want to first.

MC: No, no, no, you're the one who has been wronged today and I should make it up to you! As long as you don't mind waiting in line!

Kiro startles for a moment, then smiles and holds my hand.

Kiro: With you by my side, I won't mind anything.

-

We stand at the end of the line and begin to move forward slowly.

It isn't until I share almost all the interesting things that I'd found recently on the internet, that our turn for the Magic Flight finally arrives.

MC: Phew... it's time to be happy!

Kiro: Mm, it's time to be happy!

Please press the lever and stay seated, the Magic Flight is about to begin--

Woosh--

After two hours of queueing, we get a minute of excitement. We stumble out of our seats and Kiro takes a picture of the map.

Kiro: Now it's your turn. What do you want to ride?

MC: Me? I originally wanted to ride the Wonderful Journey, but it seems like we'd have to spend more than an hour in queue. Forget it...

Kiro: No forgetting it. You've satisfied me, so how can I not satisfy you? Let's go!

MC: Can...

I open my mouth but swallow the rest of my words.

After all, I owe Kiro today. I just have to make him 100% happy.

If going on an amazing ride with me is fun for him... then we'll do just that!

-

The queue for the Wonderful Journey is just as endless.

The crowded queue causes many couples to complain. Sometimes there are children crying, making one's ears throb and hurt.

Kiro pinches my palm and sighs softly.

Kiro: Are you tired?

MC: Nope!

I almost burst out my rebuttal and raise a big smile at him.

MC: Why do you think so? Chatting with you in line like this actually made time fly by really quickly.

Kiro: .....

Kiro purses his lips and a subtle emotion flashes in his eyes, hidden behind his glasses.

Kiro: All right.

After another wonderful ride, my legs begin to faintly protest. I grit my teeth.

MC: I remember you said before that you wanted to ride the Star Wheel? Let's go...

Kiro: Let's take a break.

He doesn't wait for me to finish speaking. Without any explanation he pulls me to the bench and sits down.

People come and go in front of us, everyone's faces filled with pure joy.

Kiro and I just sit quietly.

The atmosphere is a bit stiff and awkward.

What's the problem? I bite my lower lip.

Do you want to make the other person happy so much that it makes him unhappy instead?

Guilt wraps around my throat so tightly that I find myself unable to speak. In the end, all I can do is rub my face hard.

--You should at least be happy while you're here! If you have any questions, talk to him about it after you've thought it through.

I raise a big smile again and turn to Kiro.

MC: Seems like the float parade is about to start. I remember your favorite character's there. I've already rested. Let's go and get good seats!

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[Memory Silhouette]

Clap your hands one by one and join me in rejoicing happiness; clap your hands and forget all your worries...

For the first time ever, Kiro finds the music in the amusement park a bit too loud. It's also his first time finding that the crowd watching the parade is very congested.

He calmly steps back, allowing the girl in front of him to wave her arms and sway to the music.

MC: Say hello to new friends and start a new day with you...

She was extra lively today, as if she was trying her best to monopolize all the happy cells in her body.

But Kiro can never seem to forget the girl's dazed profile as she was sitting on the bench to rest.

She wasn't as happy as she let on, he knows.

MC: Kiro, Pink Rabbit and Lazy Bear are coming soon!

The music gets louder again. His sleeves are being pulled on and the girl's bright smile hits Kiro's eyes.

As if it's a conditioned reflex, Kiro immediately smiles

Kiro: Mm! I've got to give them a high-five soon!

This is what I usually do at an amusement park - whether it's laughing and joking with her while waiting in line, or interacting with the mascots during the parade...

But for some reason, Kiro finds that there's a strange awkwardness in all of his actions.

I shouldn't be like this, he thinks.

In the morning, when he found out that his rewards weren't redeemed in time, he was indeed a little disappointed, but he quickly convinced himself to let it go.

After all, he didn't want to see the girl showing remorse. That would only make him feel worse.

However, he didn't expect MC to care about him far more than he imagined.

But he'd already told her not to bother about it, so why does she still show such a cautious expression?

Was there something I didn't get right enough to make her so hesitant?

Kiro's thoughts wander to a far away place, making his swaying movements a little absent-minded.

It isn't until Lazy Bear walks up to him and stretches out its thick plush paw towards him that Kiro reacts, as if waking up from a dream.

Dear friends, please smile; clap your hands and join me in rejoicing happiness--

The music gradually fades away, the crowd disperses, and pleasant sounds come again in front of the surrounding amusement park rides.

MC: Where do we go next...

The girls stands there with a confused expression again.

All Kiro feels is a string in his heart being tugged at. It isn't painful, but it's sharp and stinging.

I want to make her happy. I want to satisfy all of her emotions.

If she's not going to tell me, then I'll just directly respond to her with action.

Kiro: MC.

Kiro takes the girl's hand and speaks every word carefully.

Kiro: Go where you want to go. As long as you like it, I like it, really.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[PART 3]

So tired.

After coming back from the amusement park, Kiro and I say almost nothing to each other. As soon as we reach home, we collapse onto the bed and quickly fell asleep.

When I wake up again, his spot is empty.

I carelessly turn over, my body already waiting for Kiro to come back so I could curl up into my most familiar position.

However, even after napping for a while, he still hasn't come back.

At this point... is it insomnia?

The fine thread in my heart knots up again. I decide to get up and look for him.

-

The living room is dark and quiet, with Apple Box and Cello nestled together. When they hear my footsteps, their little heads attentively turn around.

Apple Box: Awoo...

MC: Shh.

I quickly shush twice and signal them to continue sleeping as I walk around their beds.

Faint light streams in from the door of the study. I quietly approach it--

Jingle--

The first thing that greets my ears is the sound of glass ringing.

The goldfish ornaments in Kiro's study collide with each other as they sway, producing a lovely sound.

Kiro sits beside the hanging ornaments with his hands folded, his eyes lowered, making me unable to distinguish his expression.

Only the downward cast of his slightly pursed lips makes me realize that he must have something on his mind.

Kiro: I don't know what to do anymore.

Hearing his words, I can't help but pause as I am about to push open the door.

In the room, Kiro mutters to himself and reaches out to pick up a small goldfish.

Kiro: I know she's been hiding what's on her mind today, and her happiness today was all to make me "happy".

Kiro: But I don't need her to be like this "for me".

Kiro: I just want her to be "happy" without having to worry about anything.

Kiro: ...Does it sound like a tongue-twister? I think so too.

Kiro: But this is a tormenting matter. I can't help it.

MC: Pfft...

I quickly suppress my laughter, wanting to hear what else Kiro would say to the little fish.

Kiro rests his head in the crook of his arms and the little glass goldfish shakes in his hand. Then, it suddenly swings it's tail and turns towards the door.

The eyes that had been lowered suddenly rise, a sly smile within them.

Kiro: So little fish, can you convey this tongue-twister to the girl standing outside the door?

MC: ...!

MC: So you knew I was outside!

Kiro lets go of the little goldfish and stretches his hand out to me.

Kiro: All I can do is blame my ears for being too sensitive. I suddenly heard Apple Box snorting happily when he saw you.

I open the door, walk over to Kiro and sit down.

MC: Now that the little fish has told me, I also have something to say to the little goldfish to convey to Kiro.

Kiro: What is it?

I too pick up a small goldfish and sway it close to Kiro's eyes.

MC: I want little fish to ask Kiro for me - Do you not like the MC who made Kiro happy today?

Kiro: It's not that I don't like you, it's just... I feel like I've failed in some way and am asking you to accommodate me.

MC: But this is an accommodation I'm willing to make. I'm very sorry about what happened this morning. You have to give me a chance to make amends.

MC: I want to make you happy, and you want to make me happy, which leads to awkwardness between both of us...

MC: Doesn't that violate our original intentions?

Kiro's eyes flash. He sighs and takes my hand.

Kiro: What you're saying makes sense. It feels you're much smarter than me when it comes to this. Just...

MC: Just what?

Kiro lowers his head and puts my finger to the corner of his lips.

Kiro: It's just that it's impossible for me not to care about how you feel. Wouldn't that make me a bad guy?

Seeing Kiro's expression get more and more troubled, I simply wave my hand generously and deliberately tease him.

MC: It doesn't matter. You don't have to be so conflicted, it's not like you haven't been a bad guy before.

Kiro: Huh? When did I become a bad guy?

MC: When you came to see me as Helios a long, long time ago.

For a moment, Kiro's throat rolls violently, and his expression suddenly becomes a little reserved.

Kiro: You... still remember.

It's over. I seem to have said the wrong thing.

Seeing that not only the tail of the person on the other side is drooping, but also that dark clouds have gathered above his head, I cough lightly, trying to mentally make up for my faux pas.

MC: Ahem, actually, looking back now, I just find it interesting that you were "bad" back then!

Kiro: Interesting?

Kiro: What's interesting?

His hand quietly exerts a bit of force and the temperature warms the glass goldfish we hold in our palms.

Even though it's clearly a memory from a very long time ago, for some reason, when I mention it, the entanglement with the person in front of me at that time is still clear, as if it were yesterday.

All that bitterness, the sorrows and joys are superimposed with more experiences, becoming memories that can be spoken of frankly.

MC: For example, you never let me follow you back then, and you often deliberately scared me...

MC: That time in the clinic, I clearly recognized you, but you still insisted on saying that you weren't Kiro, deliberately made excuses to not recover from your injuries and also...

Kiro: Also what?

MC: What else did you say, "Did you think I was going to kiss you?"?

MC: Now that I think about it, you really were a bad guy.

Kiro: .......

Kiro pauses for breath. There is a hint of emotion in his eyes that I can't fathom.

Supporting himself on the floor, he moves closer to me.

Kiro: Why do I feel... like you seem to relish me like that more?

MC: No way, aren't I reviewing your feelings from that time?

MC: I know you must have been conflicted like that; a hundred times more conflicted than you are now, right?

Kiro: You're wrong.

Kiro's answer is very straightforward. I can't keep myself from feeling a little stunned.

MC: It's not right?

Kiro: Of course not. You want to know what I think when I'm being a "bad guy"?

MC: Very much.

I nod honestly-- This is something we'd tacitly agreed not to talk about, but now that the topic was brought up, it was impossible for me not to get curious.

Kiro smiles.

The next instant, all I feel is my hand being emptied and the goldfish slipping from my palm.

Ding-a-ling--

The colored glaze makes a pleasant melody during the sudden and violent impact. I find myself half-kneeling, pressed into Kiro's arms.

Our posture now is just as it was back then - just as powerful and just as dangerous.

What comes into view is the brilliant blond of his hair and his bewitching smile.

Kiro: I wasn't troubled at that time at all.

Kiro: I just wanted to...

He responds to me with practical actions.

Like biting a raspberry, Kiro easily captures my lips.

Different from how gentle Kiro usually is, his kisses get more and more aggressive, leaving me almost struggling for air.

MC: Kiro...

Numbing currents spread throughout my limbs, down to my very bones, almost making me incapable of holding myself upright. In the end, all I can do is let him pick me up.

Kiro: [huskily] There is a price to pay for curiosity, MC.

The light diffused by the glass traces the ends of his hair, like bright gold or brilliant silver.

It dazzles me.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

Part 2: Here

[teecupangel]

First off, I wanna say, ever since I discovered your work while scrolling down Ezio's tag randomly, I have been thoroughly hooked to everything you have written. Your work is simply amazing!

With that, I hope you don't mind me sharing an idea that's been haunting me for quite a while now.

What if Desmond reincarnated as La Volpe's son? Not biologically his son (or maybe he is but no one knew?), merely, he was found by Gilberto when Desmond was a little kid on the streets and took him in and taught him everything he knows despite Desmond clearly being a young prodigy in multiple skills as is. The man grew rather fond of Desmond, to say the least- and rather protective

(Desmond with eyes glowing purple instead of gold when using Eagle Vision anyone?)

The Thieves Guild knows Desmond (many having seen him grow up as well and befriended him) and are the ones to consider/acknowledge him as La Volpe's heir (Cub or Kit? Idk much Italian for the proper word/term for Little/Baby Fox and I don't trust Google Translate ngl) in this.

While we don't have a confirmation of La Volpe's age (doesn't help his model didn't change between AC2 and Brotherhood), I like to imagine Desmond is only a few years younger than Machiavelli when the two meet. And Machiavelli (a sort of friend despite La Volpe not liking him initially-) is trying to persuade Desmond to try his hand in some sort of apprenticeship or get him into politics even cause it's such a waste for him to remain amongst the Thieves when clearly his skills means he's destined for a better lifestyle- though, of course, Desmond's already quite an asset for the Assassin's regardless.

Would be even more interesting/amusing if Shaun reincarnated with Desmond somehow. A fellow thief (or maybe a son of a noble that Desmond tends to target- and if Desmond knows its Shaun, welll, who knows. In the end, he's still messing with him regardless) perhaps that believes he's being haunted by a familiar ghost from the past life- but that's impossible! The only ghosts (well, they're real- he long since came to terms that this isn't a dream anywas- is it hell, though? He's yet to decide) he'd had to deal with should've been the Auditores and the Templars- but then... Why does he keep seeing Desmond? (And why does he associate him with purple and even orange instead of Gold, White, and Red?)

(I apologize for the amount of parentheses in this)

(Considering how liberal I am in using parentheses myself, you don’t have to apologize for anything XD)

If you’re alright with messing up canon character’s personalities… we can make Shaun be reborn as Machiavelli instead?

And if Desmond and Machiavelli!Shaun are both around the same age, they’d be younger than Petruccio (at least 6 years for Machiavelli) which means we have the opportunity to mess with both Shaun and Desmond with this.

Because they would realize if someone was changing history if the Auditores live. By making them too young to do anything to stop it, we’re giving them the false sense of confidence that they are the only reincarnators in this story.

By the time they would both have the power and influence to change the plot, they would come to believe that the changes are butterfly effects of their own actions, not because another reincarnator is changing some things under their noses.

For this one, we’ll have Shaun try to push Desmond into going to politics because he believes that La Volpe’s son is meant to die young. That’s the only reason he could think of to why Ezio never saw him in his memories. Any antics or reactions that reminds Shaun of Desmond is simply Shaun’s mind trying to keep him from grieving Desmond’s death too much. Ezio was a constant reminder of his ‘impending death’. La Volpe’s son reminds him of what Desmond could have been had circumstances been different.

In Desmond’s eyes, Machiavelli was simply being Machiavelli. Any discrepancies between the Machiavelli his Bleed remembers and the Machiavelli in front of him is because Machiavelli isn’t treating him like he treats Ezio. Another important thing is that Desmond uses the name La Volpe gives him (your call what it is and if he has a different nickname that’s connected to foxes or a similar animal) because he knows calling himself Desmond would just make Ezio look for him.

And he was trying to stay away from Ezio because, as much as he wanted to help him, he feels guilty because the tragedy in Ezio’s life was all his fault.

To ensure he was born.

So this story now becomes two reincarnators (Shaun and Desmond) trying to change Ezio’s life, all the while not realizing each other’s true identity.

Ezio has no idea that he has two ‘guardian angels’ and is just doing his best with what he’s given XD

[duskspring]

Chores and a Show - Copia/GN!Reader fic

Domestic December - Day 2

Summary: You help Copia with his paints before a ritual

Content (do let me know if I forgot anything!): Google translate Italian as per fandom tradition, some insecurity on Copia’s side but it’s all ok in the end

Word count: ~1.7k

“Stop being so squeamish." You said to Copia, trying to sound gentle and not make him feel bad. He could be extra sensitive before a ritual, but you’d already told him to settle down twice.

"It's not my fault you tickle me, amore."

You playfully scoffed, trying to resume getting him ready. You added some black onto the brush.

"Close your eyes for me.” When he did, you started dragging the colored hairs over his eyelids and the surrounding area.

You were laser focused. Copia deserved nothing but perfection.

You startled the brush back slightly when he put his hands on your hips. You'd been straddling his lap the whole time to get as close as possible, but he’d kept his hands down up to this point.

"Copia." You say in fun-loving warning as you color his other eyelid.

"I'm behaving." He claimed, though he smirked like he had more up his sleeve.

When you moved to add a second layer, his hands dipped a little lower to your rear.

"Preshow's already on, we don't have forever.” You reminded him.

“All the more reason to enjoy your company while I can.” You had to pull back again when he smiled, not being able to work if his eyes were crinkled up.

Stopping for a moment did give you the chance to take a good look at his face. His freckles and any blemishes you usually loved mapping out were already covered up with white, but his wrinkles, the proof of his fast life experience and wiseness were still visible clearly enough for you to admire. Not that you’d admit to that, knowing Copia didn’t like them being pointed out.

“Does it look ok?” He noticed your staring, taking it to mean something was wrong. His voice sounded so small, almost childlike.

Your expression softened further, but still you took the chance to tease him a bit, “It will, as soon as you let me do my job.”

He chuckled briefly, trying to get his worries out, before straightening his face. His hands dutifully moved back to your hips.

The rest of the work went well. You’d gotten plenty of time to practise back at the abbey. Doing this for him was just another way for you to prove your devotion to him and try to help him out any way you could. He, in return, appreciated your perfectionism in the act, always insisting on starting over if it wasn’t just right.

He would never understand just how hard it was for you, however. He was still shirtless, apart from his suspenders you couldn’t believe he could wear against his bare skin. He looked good enough to eat. Though the only person you had to blame for that distraction was yourself. You were the one encouraging him to not be in costume yet when you painted his face. You had faith in your skill but the last thing you wanted would be to accidentally stain that beautiful military style jacket of his.

You took a steady breath, before holding it in. You refused to allow yourself to mess up the thin lines on the sides of his face.

Copia would love nothing more than to cheer you on or tell you something to calm your nerves, but it was his job right now to remain still.

You pulled back after the second line was done, letting out a big sigh of relief after having not messed it up.

“Stay very still.” You told him next, angling his head a little further back.

He wasn’t sure what you were gonna do, but he would never question your process. Not after your flawless track record. Because it was you.

You were shaking slightly, the small adrenaline rush you always got catching up with you. Still, you smiled. You smiled at the man that made everyday just a little better. A man that you knew would go through hardship and hell to make you happy. He was everything, with or without the paint, because it was him.

You lean in closer, his hold on your hips instinctively tightening to help keep you steady. You press your lips to his. They were the only part of him still unpainted.

Still, you kiss him softly, not wanting to blemish the surrounding paint. Copia sits up the slightest bit, trying to follow you when you pull back with a self satisfied look on your face.

“Almost there, love.” It was a matter of coloring his lips and you’d be done at last.

Still you didn’t allow yourself to slack in that department. You couldn’t speak for the rest of his audience, but you certainly enjoyed looking at his lips a lot, so they too had to look pristine.

You wished you could stay and look at him for another few hours, but a quick glance at the clock revealed the disappointing need to start wrapping it up.

You patted his hands on your hips, “Up we go.” You smiled, standing up and quickly stretching you back as Copia followed you.

As soon as you straightened your posture he stepped closer to you and put his gloved hands on your cheeks, “I would kiss you again if I could. Thank you so much, amato mio.”

You lean your head sideways into his hold, “No need you thank me at all. I love getting to do this for you.” As a last sign of affection before having to move on, you turned your head a little to kiss his palm.

You stepped away to the clothing rack that stood against the walls. All of his costumes for the night were hung up in order, ready for his quick in between costume changes. You grabbed the one on the end of the rack, the previously mentioned beautiful military style suit. It gave Copia an edge, a sense of authority he deserved as Papa.

When you faced him again, he looked the part as well. It was like watching an actor morph into character; he stood up straighter, exuding an air of confidence that suited him so well.

You took the jacket off the hanger and held it up. He obediently held his arms out without having to be asked. You helped him into the garment, closing it quickly, but with care.

After that he knew to sit in front of the vanity, you coming up behind him to brush his hair back. You loved getting to make his hair look all neat to then see it get progressively more messy throughout the night. As much as you loved watching Copia all dolled up, it was even better to see him let loose and have fun. It was clear as day that the stage was where he was at his most comfortable.

You looked away from his hair for just a moment, noticing how he looked at your reflection in the mirror, the slightest of smiles on his face. You knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I love you too.” The words left you oh so delicately. He needed to know you weren’t just saying it to say it.

“Ti amo più di ogni altra cosa.” More than anything. It was far from his first love declaration but this one, right in all the chaos before the show, somehow felt like the most meaningful one you’d ever heard.

A frantic knock interrupted the sentiment, “You’re on in five!”

You sighed, excited to see Copia perform again but upset your time together was so rushed. You leaned down and very delicately placed a kiss on his neatly brushed back hair.

“Go get ‘em.” You winked at him through the mirror.

He got up, examined his full reflection before finally turning to face you again.

"How do I look?" He already looked confident as can be, but still he asked you that same question before every show, as if you wouldn’t always respond the exact same way.

You stepped closer, putting your hands on his chest, "Like the most beautiful man I've ever seen."

His confident look softened. He wished so badly to kiss you, but knew his paints would mess up from it and your hard work had to be admired on stage for all to see. Instead he brushed his hand over your hair.

“I will look for you in the crowd.” He promised.

You pulled back, already grabbing your bag and making your way there, “Remember, I’m on the left balcony.” You didn’t really jive well with big crowds. As much as you’d miss seeing Copia up close, you were happy you got a spot in the VIP camp. Less people, but still a good overview of the stage.

The next few minutes we’re a bit of a blur as you had to rush to make it up there on time. You only hoped Copia could take it a bit easier.

You knew he was nervous, he always was. But as soon as the white screen fell down to reveal the band the energy in the room was electric.

He had such a way about him, capturing all eyes in the room with his strong voice, silly dance moves and sometimes eyebrow raising words in between songs.

And he made sure to keep his promise, looking over in your direction multiple times. It was clear to you that he didn’t truly see you at first. But when he did, he made sure you knew. He waved his arm in a gesture towards you and you immediately understood he’d found you.

It was almost an art, making you feel like the only person in a fully packed arena. As if all those songs were especially for you even when he interacted with the crowd and wasn’t actively engaging you.

You’d probably never get the full scope of it, but when Copia was up on that stage, he was there for you. At least in spirit. He thought of you the whole time. Your unwavering faith in him calmed his nerves and the prospect of you telling him how great he did, like you always told him after performances, served as a driving force to do even better than last time.

He needed you, in that way. He wanted you. He could never imagine doing this without you.

He loved you, as wholly as you loved him.

[My Main Masterlist | Domestic December Masterlist]

[doriana-gray-games]

Hi! This must mean very little to you and you probably hear it many times before, but I really love your writing style and your story! English is not my first language and def something I'm not good at yet (most often I have to google translate sentences/phrases that I don't understand in IF Games - which sometimes it makes me stop playing the game halfway through) but your game/story is really... Uh... Easy(?) to understand and pictures it in my head! There are many times I caught myself smiling/giddy reading (esp in flirting/interacting w the ROs) and not to mention i didnt open the google translator the entire time I play your game which makes it much easier for me to immerse myself fully in the game!

Ah! I don't blame authors for using words or phrases I don't know, it is completely my own fault so please don't take it the wrong way! TT and I'm really sorry if I'm wording my words wrong or coming out as rude! (tho I can't wait for the day I master the English language and be able to play IF games without ever needing to google translate it!)

Anon, this is incredibly sweet and so wonderful to hear ❤️

I have the bad habit of not always posting loving messages (instead I read them, love them, and hoard them like a goblin!) but I wanted to make sure you did not think you said anything wrong as you seemed unsure about your English skills—your English is great and your message is super flattering and clear! And if you can read a story like this with a Victorian-esque style then you’re much better than you think. Trust me on this!

Hugs to lovely anon ❤️

[rigelmejo]

So I haven't posted in a while. Little updates:

I finished arc 1 of Guardian in chinese again. So now I wont feel bad reading the book 1 english translation.

I took a break from chinese for a while then came back to read. And its interesting to me how much is stored like "2nd level down" in my memory. I don't recall words when trying to talk, after a long enough break. But I start reading, and my brain subvocalizes the hanzi and I can recall this Gist General Meaning of the words. Some words I recall their meaning and all, some just an overall general idea. But I havent forgotten much, nothing totally forgotten, and then most of the details of words come back within an hour or reading. Its surprising to me that reading chinese, memory wise, seems a LOT like reading french. I didnt expect it to be quite as similar a process. But it seems that remembering hanzi Words is as permanent as remembering french word stems/endings (or english ones). Reading skills have long staying power, and don't degrade much even with long breaks between usage. This is Excellent news. Since I don't have time to study much for the next several months, so I'm glad reading skills will stay as good as they are Or Improve if I read, without needing maintenance study. I'd like to improve my listening skill too, because being able to understand audiobooks would increase the chinese novels I could get through that I want to read (audiobooks would be faster than reading). But I dont have time yet for listening reading combo study, and time will tell if i do that activity WHEN and IF listening skills also gradually solidify then become reliable so one can study more sporadically and still see improvement.

My french skills are. Fascinating. I havent purposely studied in like over 5 years. I dont get that much French exposure (my google is in french but tbh google email and notifications do not use a big variety of words). But I've noticed a dramatic improvement in listening skills. My french reading skills have been fine for years. Theyre at a level where I can read like a high schooler: so i can read fiction for adults, but some words or literary devices go over my head and I have to just guess, the more in depth text analysis of themes might be a challenge, but just getting the story/information/most details is fine. I havent had to limit what i read in french in ages. Its just a matter of in french i feel like i did in high school where some fiction makes me "think hard" to grasp some points, versus english where i dont run into needing to Think Hard like that unless I'm reading something written pre-1800s. Anyway my point is: reading skills have been stable a while in french. Listening skills have markedly improved despite very little purposeful practice. I think I should probably start listening to podcasts or audiobooks some point soon. Through scattered listening to B1 and B2 comprehensible audio on youtube, and french shows, im to a point where if the audio has visual context i can follow everything going on and learn new words pretty easy. So now its just listening to french when i have no visuals to rely on, that's a struggle. I remember a few years back, i could not listen to french shows id just get confused, i needed the subtitles to follow anything. My ears mustve gotten used to french or just gotten used to Listening Better to things. Anyway, if i start trying and French Listening Only materials ill mention some progress.

Anyone have any french audiobooks or podcasts/fiction story podcasts they enjoy???

Japanese. also in a weird place. ToT. My biggest hurdle isnt even japanese: its being too chicken to challenge myself. I can play Yakuza Ishin in japanese and follow the main idea and objectives and main points in scenes. Yet i have NOT played more cause it feels Draining to grasp all that info from context and im lazy. I know if i watch a show in only japanese, with japanese subtitles, i know enough to grasp the main plot. But im lazy and its a LOT of effort to see the japanese subtitles and match new sounding words with kanji and try to remember the new pronunciation AND pay attention to the brand new plot. So i fall back onto english subs. I KNOW i can read japanese novels with a click dictionary, its just such SLOW reading, and if i just read while listening and Guess all unknown words its mentally exhausting even though its faster. I even have the easy peasy Glossika Japanese audio to listen to, but im still on lesson 36 because i have to Pay Full Attention when i listen to new lessons and im too lazy to listen with full attention ToT. I can watch lets plays in japanese, i understand them, but the effort of focusing is so much MORE than it would take if i just went to watch an english lets play where i can just hear in the background and follow it fine not even looking at it.

I am at a POINT in japanese where I CAN just learn by doing now! Which is huge! Its an incredibly useful milestone to be at! And makes future study, in the long run, much less daunting to plan as it can become just Do Stuff In Japanese to study. But since im at the beginning of this Comprehend Enough to Learn More from Context phase... learning new stuff from context still takes SO MUCH EFFORT. ITS SO DRAINING. Paying enough attention to comprehend things ive studied is exhausting, paying extra attention to new stuff and guessing what it means is draining and requires a Lot of focus. I know this is just how this stage goes but. Im so lazy.

What i need is something in japanese im SO interested in, that it drives me to engage with it even though I'm drained because im so Curious and Interested in understanding, so i push through until comprehending gets easier. Ideally, a game or show, something that plays so i am Forced to frequently proceed to the next sentence. Because with books and manga i will just stop and dwell on a paragraph for 2 hours and not learn much new stuff.

This stage is especially grating because im not in the stage with french or chinese anymore. I can listen to chinese shows in the background, check my phone while listening, not use the chinese subtitles, pay half attention while drawing. Chinese audiobooks require More attention, but i can listen to them walking or driving without subtitles/transcript and still follow the plot. With french Im to that same comfortable point with shows and youtube videos, not audio only stuff yet but i dont Engage with french audio only stuff. My point is Japanese is the only one where Im really feeling that INTENSE FOCUS drain whenever i try to engage with challenging new stuff in japanese. I dont feel an intense drain with chinese unless I read one of my harder reading level Print Novels or a higher vocab audio only material. I dont feel it with french unless Im doing it with audio only material. I feel the drain constantly with japanese.

[postsforposting]

all the weird time in go s2, e1-3

I am working off a 2k display, so if someone else has a 4k and wants to take a look at these timestamps to get a better reading, or has better photo editing skills, have at it. Almost all the time the "hour" hand is at the wrong spot, ie at 650 it should be nearly on the 7, not directly on the 6. I will say when it's correct. Timestamps means "this is where in the show it happens", also shown with "t[number]".

Rewrote some of this after reading this post about the clock hands being backward: what ought to be the hour hand is the minute hand on the big clock next to Az's desk, and I grabbed some time pictures I missed. I'm putting this in chronological order within each episode rather than show order. I did try to include both ways to read the clock, reversed and "not reversed". I think using the short hand as mintues most of the time makes sense.

I will edit this as more stuff comes to light, ie we get more shots of time stuff or realize things.

Jim showing up seems to mess with time, even before the hiding miracle--though idk if the hiding miracle can reach back through time to change things? Delete the memory of him being there? That would be consistent with how "deleting time" works, ie jumping it forward.

Episode 1

1. Crowley meeting Shax in the alley at timestamp 19:27 in s2e1: an hour discrepancy between his phone and his watch. Watch has normal/correct hour hand placement. The watch says it's 11:35am and the phone 10:35, aka six hours prior to the scene where Az meets Jim. Crowley hasn't learned anything about Gabriel or the book of life at the time we see this discrepancy except that "something is up", and in all later scenes the hour hand of the clocks is incorrectly placed/time is "fake". This missing hour is something different than the rest of them? Crowley either doesn't notice the missing time, or he already knows what it is. He has an analogue watch, presumably he knows how to read time, and would know when his hour hand is not behaving correctly/doing fake things.

Was Gabriel doing something on earth for an hour? That the hiding miracle deleted from everyone's memories? That wouldn't desync the clocks though, and should not affect our heroes who can still recognize him. I did try to look at Gabriel's eyes in the elevator in e6, they did look purple still, so I think he didn't remove his memory until after he got to earth--but that doesn't make sense with how Saraqael says she "can't find his memory anywhere", implying he already took it out in the elevator. I do not think they waited an hour for him to "clear out his desk". I tried to run the symbols on the angel security cam footage through Google translate, but no dice.

2. Az gets Maggie's note about the rent, we see a tiny clock behind Az at timestamp 8:18. One hand is just before 12, the other seems to be on the 4? We can see where the 9 and the 8 are, so it looks like the other hand should be on the 4, not the 3. It's easier to see if you watch this in the show, you can see the clock face appear and it looks more clear if you watch from about 8:16-19. This clock says either just before 4pm or it's 11:20am, because that looks like the short hand near the 12. I don't know if this clock should be read backwards like the big clock should. (Edit: this clock is the big one by his desk, we're seeing it through a gap in the bookshelves, it's not sitting in the bookshelf.)

2.5. We can see Maggie's watch when he goes to forgive her rent, after getting her note. seems like it says 11:25-27, t1008. Crucially, this is supposedly less than 21min before Jim shows up.

3. t1441, Jim knocks. When Az gets up to answer, we see this on the clock next to his desk, behind him, it's definitely 4:20 no matter what weirdness the hands are doing. It is now 5 hours later???

4. Time seems to stand still while Az talks to Jim for the first time, as the clock never moves from 4:25 (520 not reversed), but the long hand ought to be further along if that's the real time. Time is not stopped as you can see people moving outside the window. t16:32-19:26,

and picking up again timestamp 20:18 after he gets the box, it is 4:30 (620 not reversed),

Crowley says he'll see Az in two minutes, and then Nina starts to close down because it's nearly 5:00 (7pm not reversed), which makes sense.

5. t26:51, meeting Jim with the feather duster. The hands are either both on the 5 or one's on the 4 and one on the 5. It was already 430pm, so surely it's not 425 again, it must be 525? Either it's been an hour when Crowley said "two minutes" or we've gone backward in time. As we see in the apology and miracle scene though, clocks get weird around jim, so we very well could have gone back in time. They have a fight and Crowley does his lightning, etc.

6. stolen from the "hands on the clock are reversed" post, timestamp 38:47, time is 2102 aka 9:02. this is when crowley releases nina and maggie from being locked in the cafe.

7. the apology scene. If we say Nina closes at 5pm(maybe 7?)....time is just fucky in this scene, idk man. Time seems to run fine, around 9pm, except when Jim shows up. Did he do something to himself before he went to earth? But if so, he would have screwed up time when first talking to Az too. When did he alter himself, though, if Saraqael couldn't find his memory? Did whatever or whoever was involved in the Big Miracle also reach back through time to change things?

If changing your identity means you never existed, maybe did Gabriel invent time, hence him removing his memory....removed him from reality, so now time is fucky? What would be the point of going through all this though just for that though???? Did the damn fly have miracle powers and perform a miracle at some point??? If so then why didn't it register as his memory when Saraqael was looking? If he could hide simply by being on earth, there would be no point to putting himself in the fly.

Episode 2

1. It appears to be 10:40am in the scene where Jim is singing, where Az gets the Clue right before the angels show up in e2 at timestamp 6:05. It seems that the hour hand is correct, between the 10 and 11? IF we don't read it backward, then the hands are not correctly positioned and it's 652am.

However, the clock when the angels are in the shop appears to say something in the realm of 845 or 945? t1348

But while we're talking to the angels, we see the clock again at a very different time, what appears to be 954am, t1422.

But at t1516, it looks like a different time? Short hand on the 8, long on the 10, so 10:40 again (or 750am, not reversed).

There does not seem to be a hand directly on either the 55 or the 9, they seem closer to the 8 and the 50. I don't know if there's even a hand anywhere but the 8/9 though.

2. The angels leave, Az and Crowley go to the pub, then go back to talk to Jim. Time stays at 4:29, t2058; (620 not reversed, but the hands would be in a really bad placement).

After the Job flashback at t4016, the clock now says 630 regardless of weirdness.

It looks like there are two short hands, no long one? Why?? Timestamp 4016. The double hands stay in every shot, pretty obviously, until we leave the scene. Crowley also leaves, and either it's only been ten minutes or it's been two hours and ten. If it's only been ten minutes, that's not something he usually does. Az goes to get Crowley to ask for the car, and his watch says....

Definitely not 630. This is at timestamp 4324. No clue if his watch should be read backward, but in the first episode it was read normally and its hands were correctly positioned.

Episode 3

1. Timestamp 2:30, Muriel shows up. Clock seems to say 10:50, regardless of weirdness. I think this is directly after the previous scene of asking Crowley for the car. It should not be four hours later.

2. Whlie Az is out Cluing, in the bookshop the time says 3:30 at timestamp 1638, and it appears that the long hand is in the correct position between the 3 and 4. It's 617 if we don't reverse it, and the hands would be in the wrong position.

When Az uses the guy's phone in the graveyard at t3451, it says 1750 aka 550. Obviously something is wrong because it can't be way later in the bookshop than it is where Az is. There are not multiple timezones between London and Scotland. This is confirmed at t3511, where we see Crowley answer the phone in the shop, and the clock says 525. It's blurry here but at t3624 we see a moving shot of the clock behind Crowley's head, and it does say 525 clearly (regardless of weirdness). There's another shot of the graveyard phone at t3639 but I can't read the time off it.

It cannot be 525 in the shop and 550 on a phone. That's half an hour of time missing. Notably here, Nina's shop is still open, so either her closing times are not consistent or there was a whole lot more time missing in ep1 to make it later than the clock said it was.

[humanityinahandbag]

hi, me and a friend are wanting to co write a fic together, and I was wondering if you had any tips for it? we've started outlining things and we've been brainstorming together and whatnot, but we're not quite sure how to go about actually writing.

Hey! I'm going to put @samthefrank in here as well so she can give her own response if she'd like to! But as for me, I can at least tell you what my experience has been, and keep in mind that you and your friend may be a very different case just based on how you work together.

We spend a lot of time chatting. This is done mostly in google, so we can copy and paste any ideas we have. To be honest, our outlining was pretty minimal? We jotted down ideas and put them in order, but we also were aware that anything could change at any time. Flexibility is key here.

We began writing and brainstorming at the same time. Don't sit and discuss for too long or you'll lose all your motivation. That's at least my experience! So sometimes we'll be mid paragraph, come up with a new idea, and write it down into the scene.

Be ready to delete. More writing is often better. Having more about your characters and world is helpful, and having more scenes that can be shifted, moved, tweaked, or used for inspiration is better than having less. But this also means you might have to delete moments you really like. Have a second document at the ready to dump all those darlings so they're not gone forever.

Delegate. We sometimes find that there are moments that one of us enjoy more. You may find yourself writing more of one scene than the other person. I was never big into writing smut (though I am trying to do it more!) and often found myself writing more of the sad or emotional moments. I also was less into romance, and though I've definitely grown, I know that it's not my strongest skill. We both love comedy, so we find ourselves splitting that often.

Be prepared to learn. I've started writing more smut and romance (tentatively). I can't speak for my friend, but I know she's mentioned more than once that she's started using other methods that she hadn't thought of before, but I did frequently. This translated from our fics to our original work. Push your boundaries. It's the only way to improve and grow!

Have fun. That's really key. We write together because we enjoy it! If we didn't, we wouldn't push it. I've wrote with other people and found the experience to be stifling and without a challenge. Either the skill levels were different or the other person came up with ideas and wouldn't budge. I very politely bowed out of those partnerships knowing that I would be miserable if I kept up with it. So above all else, have a good time. You're there to create something with your friend! This is a chance to play, to get closer, and to make art!

I hope that this helps! Have a great time with your friend! It's so much fun to write with other people, and I'm saying this as someone who is usually happier writing alone. Once you find that one person who you can write with as a friend, it's so amazing. You have a chance to get closer and learn more about your own writing on the way.

[cinnamokittykat]

Puppy Love Chapter 5: Baking Together

Warnings: Awful Google Translate German, Abusive ex

Tags: Fluff, Hybrid! AU, The characters bake together, Lilith has a daughter

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

The day began bright and early for the duo as they walked to the bakery. They had a long day of ingredient prep ahead of them. The pantry was to be stocked, butter to be browned, and frosting to be made, along with a multitude of other food-related tasks.

Lilith unlocked the bakery's front door before running by the road to wave down the delivery driver. The big truck stopped and backed into the pebbly driveway with many loud beeps. A man with a clipboard hopped out and walked up to Lilith.

"Guten Morgen, ist diese Reihenfolge korrekt?"

He points to the clipboard, then opens the back of the truck for her to look. She squints, then nods.

"Danke, sir."

"Wunderbar. Benötigen sie hilfe beim entladen?"

"Nein, ich habe ihn."

At this point, König appeared behind the man, who, upon feeling his looming presence behind himself, nearly jumped out of his skin.

"J-ja, ich muss einige dinge an meinem truck erledigen!"

He scurried off into the driver's seat of the truck, leaving König and Lilith alone again.

"Let's get these inside, then we can start cooking, alright?"

"Sounds gut."

He then proceeded to pick up 2 very large sacks of flour and throw them over his shoulder like they were nothing. The woman parted her lips in amazement. She wondered if he could pick her up just as easily. With someone his size, he could most definitely just treat her as he pleased...

Lilith grabbed a dolly and started wheeling pallets of berries toward the bakery. With König's help, the ingredients were put away in less than 30 minutes, and she was thankful. It meant more time to cook. She thanked the delivery driver once again and signed off on the order.

"Let's get cooking, big guy."

Lilith managed to find a spare apron in the storage closet, and it fit König surprisingly well. It was a standard issue kitchen uniform, as König had declined the black one with "two seater" and arrows printed on.

"Here, uh, use this hairnet on your tail... there. Perfect! We are ready!"

"What do we do first?"

"Well, I have to brown butter for cookies so I can get them started."

"... browning butter?" He asked, clearly confused.

"Yeah, it adds depth of flavor," Lilith explained. "König, have you ever baked before?" She continued.

"Nein, my mother did a lot, I just never got a chance to learn... It seems so complicated, what if I mess it up?"

"Well, I can teach you, I won't make you do anything complicated today."

"Okay."

"You can start helping me by unpackaging all of that butter and putting it in this pot."

She gestured to a large yet shallow metal pot, then began to process a pallet of strawberries. König watched her work swiftly but delicately with each strawberry, removing the leaves and hull in one fell swoop of the paring knife before tossing them into a bowl.

He got to work, pulling the foil off the butter blocks and listening to the plunk! of them falling against the metal. Lilith turned the stove on and began to stir the butter around until it was melted and bubbling.

"Now, this is where it needs to be watched closely. It can turn from browned to burnt in seconds."

The man nodded, just happy to listen to her explain things. He could tell she was not only skilled but invested in the culinary arts.

"What will this be used in?" He inquired.

"Around 3/4 for chocolate chip cookies, and the remaining butter will be used in my rice krispie treats."

König's head tipped to the side, his ears perked up.

"What are those?"

"Hm?"

"Rice Krispies?"

"Oh, so there's this cereal made with puffed rice, a lot of people will melt marshmallows and mix it with them to make these treats that are both crispy and chewy. But don't get that cheap stuff from the American stores here, mine are better." She explained with a smile on her face.

"I am sure they are then."

By then, the butter was browned, and Lilith scraped the pot with a rubber spatula while König tipped it over a huge container.

"This has to cool, so in the meantime, I'm gonna start frosting."

For the next hour, they worked side by side, König doing the simpler things like cutting fruit for jams while Lilith completed more technical tasks such as making frosting and toasting ingredients. When she pulled a tray of pleasantly burnished marshmallows out of the oven, she had to smack König's hand away so he wouldn't burn himself trying to swipe a taste.

"Bitteee..." He looked at her with his best puppy-dog eyes.

She reached up to pet him quickly before reminding him that he needed to wait for the final product.

"Whiny puppy..." Lilith whispered to herself, unaware that König could pick up those words, and they shot straight downward within him.

"You do understand I am 10 years older, Lilith?"

She ignored him and began mixing the ingredients for the Rice Krispie treats. Toasted marshmallows, browned butter, and even the cereal was toasted. The aroma wafted through the metallic industrial kitchen. Working quickly, she pressed the mixture into a greased sheet pan and sprinkled salt over it.

"While that cools, wanna see the special fall menu?"

"Ja, bitte."

She pulled out a binder full of laminated pages and loose notes, flipping through it until she landed on a stained page labeled "Fall/Halloween."

"I'm proud to say that a lot of these were my ideas! The apple cake was still my grandmother's, but the pumpkin cupcakes, red velvet 'vampire' cupcakes, ghost cake pops, and apple cider donuts were all recipes I developed or designed!"

"Are these all your pictures?" König wondered out loud.

"Yeah!"

She went on to explain all of the little details in her recipes, like how the "blood" on the red velvet cupcakes was actually a berry coulis and not red icing or how she kept having the frosting stick to the paper when she tried to flatten it to make jack-o-lantern faces for the first time.

To tell the truth, she loved having the undivided attention of someone to explain her passion. Instead of just looking off to the side or straight up telling her they didn't care, König looked at her with his beautiful eyes and absorbed every word. She wondered if he had anything he was passionate about like this.

He was so wonderful to look at, too; the way his shirt outlined his arm muscles was captivating, and she got just a hint last night about what he looked like under the hood. He had the softest hair I've ever felt. Long, too, perfect for grabbing while he-

"Lilith, is everything alright?"

"Huh... yeah!" Her face reddened; she didn't realize she had zoned out.

He's not interested, you fucking cow. She thought to herself.

"Anyways, let's make cookies, hm?"

"Ja."

The cookie-making process went by quickly, although König was splashed in the face with flour from the mixer once and had to shake his hood off outside.

"Now the dough is going to sit in the fridge to develop flavor overnight! The frosting is made, the cakes are cooling, so I think we can rest. Let's go back home, okay?"

After a short rest, Lilith started boiling a pot of water on the stove and taking sausage out of its casings to saute.

"What are you making?"

König tipped his head to the side and sniffed the air.

"Sausage and broccoli pasta. Is that okay?"

"Ja, anything you make ist good, Lilith."

She beamed internally at his words.

After Lilith finished the kitchen, she flopped down on the couch, finally off her feet for the rest of the day. She took out her phone and panicked when she saw 9 missed calls.

"I'm so sorry, I was prepping the bakery all day, Mark."

"Pick up."

"Hello?"

"Hello."

"Lilith, pick up."

"We need to talk."

Mark is calling...

She picked up the phone and held it to her ear.

"Lilith, fucking pick up when I call you next time."

"Mark, I told you this morning, I was prepping the bakery."

"Whatever. I need you to take Holly."

"What? We agreed she was going to stay in school in the US for now."

"I need you to take her."

"Why?"

"Um, well, I just uhhh, got a new job, and I won't be around as often."

"So you're going to ship our kid across the world?"

"Will you just help me the fuck out? You're the parent too, Lilith."

She sighed. How was she going to manage the bakery with a 5-year-old?

"Mark, I'm running a business, I'm scared I won't be able to take care of her."

"Well, that's too fucking bad, maybe if you took some time off from whoring around after work, you'd be able to. Besides, the tickets are already booked. $1000, Lilith."

A chill ran up her spine. Memories of how he would accuse her of 'whoring around' came flooding back. Right before he would confess to cheating. And now, she had to figure out how to handle her beloved daughter while running the bakery.

"... Alright, Mark. Sure. When does she arrive?"

"3 weeks."

"And you'll be coming with her, right?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Can I please talk to Holly?"

"Yeah, sure, HOLLY!" He hollered.

The camera turned on, and she watched as her little cream-colored Siamese kitten ran into the room.

"MOMMY! MOMMY! I GET TO SEE YOU! I GET TO SEE YOU, MOMMY!"

Lilith smiled. Her daughter stared into the camera with joy in her heterochromatic eyes. One was light blue, like any other kitten, and the other was green and shaped like a cat's eye.

"Yes you do, sweetheart, I am so happy to see you!"

"Yayyyyyy, I'm so excited, mommy!"

"What do you want to do when you get here, Holly?"

"Hmmmmmmm."

She tapped her finger to her mouth, her lips curling into that unmistakable 5-year-old smile.

"I wanna... I dunno!"

"Alright, sweetheart, we'll just figure it out when you get here."

"Okay, mommy!"

Just then, König called out to Lilith, asking her some question about cups.

"Mommy, who is that?" Holly demanded.

Right, she would have to explain that to Holly.

"Ah, sweetie, he's a new friend of Mommy's, you may meet him eventually!"

"Okay Mommy!"

Mark spoke up once again.

"Alright Holly, I need the phone back now, go play with your dolls!"

"Ok!"

The door slammed, and Mark made his opinions heard.

"So, you are whoring yourself out to any man who's drunk enough to sleep with you?"

"It's not like that, and you know it! He's helping at my bakery!"

"Uh-huh, whatever, goodbye."

He hung up the phone as soon as he was finished speaking. Lilith sighed and rubbed her temples. Mark was the biggest mistake she had ever made; the only good thing that came out of it was Holly. The 5 years of marriage with him were soul-crushing.

Just then, she felt a weight in her lap. Upon looking down, what stared up at her were the familiar begging eyes of König.

"You are sad, what is wrong?"

"... Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Lilith brought her hand to her lap, and König bonked his head into it.

"Are you asking to be pet?"

"Bitteee!"

He pushed his head into her hand again, and Lilith began petting him softly.

"Did I help you enough today?"

"Yes, you were a very big help, König."

The man smiled under his hood, and his tail wagged furiously behind him.

"A good boy, even." Lilith laughed to herself, the whole situation being humorous to her still. She had a 6'10" veteran German Shepherd laying on her, begging for affection like a cat.

König heard those words and almost ascended to heaven.

"You mean it?"

Lilith chuckled, mildly surprised at his response.

"I suppose so."

"I guess I have always needed purpose in life, sorry."

"What are you sorry about, König? I'm happy to validate you!"

"Danke, Lilith..."

His eyes went from half-lidded to closed, and Lilith turned on a show while the man dozed off for the night.

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

"Guten Morgen, ist diese Reihenfolge korrekt?" - Good morning, is this order correct?

"Wunderbar. Benötigen sie hilfe beim entladen?" - Wonderful, do you need help unloading?

"Nein, ich habe ihn." - No, I have him.

"J-ja, ich muss einige dinge an meinem truck erledigen!" - Y-yes, I have some things to do in my truck!

[theothersarshi]

Hi, i saw in a reblog that you're a translator, i would like to work in this field

Do you have any tips on how to well.. get to it, find people, companies, groups who would seek translators

I have a bachelor's degree in english (im french) and i feel oh so lost, where do i start?! im moving to canada soonish and try my luck there idk

Hey!

I wish I had a great response to this. The truth, however, is that being a freelancer is a constant mystery: will I have clients? Won't I? Where will they come from? I know people who've been freelancing for decades and who are still confused about how, exactly, it's all working out for them.

So there's no clear answer. But there are a few things that make your chances better.

Have an online, professional profile stating what you can do (we're in the era of the internet, it counts!). Websites and ProZ used to be it, nowadays LinkedIn is where many people will look you up. It can't hurt to show up in multiple places, either.

Keep an eye out for ads that might interest you. It's rare that you'll find them, but I know a couple of people who ended up as gaming translators because they saw the ad on the game's forums (this was years ago, though).

if you want to join professional groups, I've seen a few international ones on Facebook. Some are just ad spam, others are great groups, but you won't find work there (Things Translators Never Say is a place where translators gather to rant and joke around), and some might be more about the business in itself. I suppose some must find work like that, but I myself never did. (I did meet a few people, though, and I learned more about how things work in the industry.)

tell people (people in general) that you are/want to be a translator. Your friends, family and acquaintances might remember you when someone needs a translator (I got a surprising number of people contacting me like that).

Basically, advertise yourself. Where it's best to advertise, I don't know. I don't often go out looking for new work because I tend to have a few steady clients, and that's that.

I mostly got those clients through word of mouth, having "translator" written next to my name online, and sometimes translating things for fun or talking about translations.

You'll eventually find someone, or someone will find you. When that happens:

do your best on translation tests. Remember that you can use allll the dictionaries, Google, and anything else you deem necessary. (It can be hard, coming out of school, to shake off the habits you learned when you were tested on your knowledge of English)

soft skills and a benevolent attitude towards coworkers are your friends. Keep in mind that colleagues (whether project managers, reviewers or fellow translators) are more likely to recommend you (or not) for other jobs than random acquaintances.*

read the paperwork you sign. Usually it will be ok, if the company is sane. Sometimes, though, they'll have the most batshit clauses. For example, one of my clients wanted an exclusivity clause that hadn't been discussed previously. "But we wouldn't enforce it!" Well, then, please remove it.

--

Note *: Obviously, stick up for yourself. But be a diplomat when you want to say things like "This is shit", "You fucked up my payment, assholes", "What the fuck are you even". Yes, even when you would be absolutely justified and well within your rights to have those reactions. Give people a chance to fix mistakes or explain what it was they were trying to do - if you need to, you can always escalate later.

[league-of-sam]

As Grim as the Reaper | Simon 'GHOST' Riley PREQUEL

Ghost x Reader, Graves x Reader

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Phillip Graves x AFAB!Reader!OC 18+ MINORS DNI! t.w // angst, mental health, language, violence, death, sexual themes/SMUT, military inaccuracies, language inaccuracies (google translate).

As Grim as the Reaper: Masterlist

The Echo 6 squadron became a force to be reckoned with almost overnight.

Your fearless leading, the sheer volume of skill your comrades held, you were unstoppable, and bloody good.

Some may even say better than Echo 3.

Mission after mission, covert op after covert op, you proved yourselves over and over again. Laswell had been right to bring you all together, because now, when enemies knew Echo 6 were coming, they ran.

They ran with the power of fear.

And fuck, did you have so much fun with them.

Orlando and Bradshaw's daily flirting kept the team morale sky high, as the rest of you revelled in his constantly being shot down.

Trace was possibly one of the sweetest men you'd met; he looked up to you, like a little brother looking up to his sister. You'd never had that, so the kind of love you developed for him was foreign to you, but you embraced it wholeheartedly.

And Stevens, well, you and he bonded almost immediately. You reminded him of his own younger sister, and so every mission, he had you back as if you were her.

You met his family, became great friends with his wife, he even made you aunt and god-mother to his son, Charlie, who was only three at the time.

Echo 6 team had become your family, and you loved them dearly.

Even Graves had become close with them, him wanting to know he could fully trust the people who's hands held your life every time you were deployed.

It was hard at first, any time he had to go on a mission without you, or you without him. But you were able to figure it out, because the two of you wanted nothing more than your relationship to work.

And it was.

You'd never been happier, and your relationship with the commander had been growing incredibly. You'd never experienced being in love before, but you were starting to think that maybe this was what it was like.

Because being with him was so fucking easy.

But even with that, even with your team, none of it was quite enough to fill the hole that Alex had left behind.

It was approaching almost a year since he was declared MIA, and missing him never got any easier.

Once again, any intel pertaining to him was being kept from you, General Shepherd wanting your attention on your new team, and your new team only. 

You were all gathered in the break room, Orlando playing foosball with Trace, Stevens video calling his wife, and you and Emily gossiping in the corner. 

"So, are you ever gonna actually give Orlando a chance?" You asked.

She looked over to him, sighing dreamily as she watched him celebrate another point, "I really don't know."

"It's so obvious you fancy him, I hope you know that."

"You're one to talk? We all had bets on how long it'd take you to give in to the Commander." She argued back.

Your jaw dropped open, a laugh coming out as you swiped at her playfully, the two of you giggling.

"Okay, fine, I can't say anything. But I did take the leap, you should too. That boy is head over heels in love with you, Em."

"Yeah, maybe he is."

Before you could say anything else, your phone rang, Laswell's picture flashing on the screen.

Picking it up, you greeted her, and she returned it kindly before telling you that you and the rest of the team needed to come to the conference room as soon as possible. 

So, wrangling up your soldiers, you made your way there.

You followed your team into the room, the five of you taking seats around the table, as Laswell stood at the head of it.

There was a horrible aching in your chest, your fingers shaking as you fiddled with the dog tags hanging around your neck. Because the last time you were here, your heart was broken.

The last time you were in this room, Alex was declared dead.

Five minutes of silence passed by, all of you looking confused between one another, none of you knowing what the hell was going on.

"Jesus Christ, Kate, please, you're killing me." You spoke, head rolling on your shoulders.

She shot you a sympathetic look, "Sorry, honey, we need to wait for General Shepherd to be here for this."

You groaned, but nodded, and the rest of the team engaged in small talk with Laswell while you waited.

Eventually, Shepherd burst into the room, Graves following him in. He spotted you straight away, opting to come over, placing a quick kiss to your lips and taking the empty seat next to you.

Instead of telling you of the purpose of this meeting, Shepherd began addressing your team one by one, almost as if he was giving out appraisals.

But you weren't stupid, you knew that's not why you were here.

You sat there for almost another hour, listening to Shepherd drone on and on about the success of the team, the success of missions, and frankly, with everything going on in your head, you'd had enough.

Standing up, your chair screeched, and you started collecting your things.

"Lieutenant, where do you think you're going? We're in a meeting." Shepherd addressed you.

"I am aware, sir, but this meeting is going nowhere. You didn't bring us here to sing our praises, and I don't have time to listen to it, not today."

Laswell stood up, then, coming over to you, "(Y/N), if you'd just wait a second-"

"No, Kate! I'm not being funny, but the last time I was dragged into this room by the two of you, you told me my best friend was dead."

Involuntary tears sprung to your eyes as you relived the memory.

They knew how much it had hurt you.

"I know, but this is important. You need to be here."

"Why? Why do I? What could possibly be more important than me taking the time to mourn my best friend?"

The door opened behind you, but you were too in your feelings to take any notice. Not even when your team let out numerous gasps, not even when Kate whispered your name.

No, the only thing you could hear was the squeaking of metal, and a voice.

"Sorry, angel. I gotta be dead for you to mourn me."

The breath was knocked from you.

You could barely see from the tears swimming on your waterline, but you didn't miss Laswell's smile, and her nod for you to turn arouns.

Slowly, you turned in your spot, looking to the floor at the feet - well, foot - of the person behind you. 

Your gaze followed his body, seeing a prosthetic leg from his left knee to the floor. Then your eyes landed on those tattoos. 

You knew those tattoos.

And finally, when your eyes landed on his face, you let out a sob, and your tears began to fall.

"A-Alex?" You spoke, barely above a whisper.

"Hey, angel." He smiled back softly.

"N-no...you died- you..." You turned back to Laswell, refusing to believe he was really in front of you, but she nodded once again, and you felt your heartstrings snap in your chest, "You're alive?"

"I'm alive."

You couldn't say any more.

Relieved sobs broke out from your chest, and Alex opened his arms, inviting you in.

No second was wasted, and you leapt forward, jumping into his arms and holding onto him as if your life depended on it.

"You're alive." You repeated, hands locked around his neck.

His arms wrapped around your back, holding you flush against him, his grip tightening with every cry you released. His own tears sprung to his eyes, the overwhelming feeling of guilty, knowing how much you must have missed him, as he'd missed you.

"I'm alive, angel. I'm here."

You pinched yourself, one more try to see if you were dreaming.

But you weren't, he was here.

Alex was alive; you had your best friend back, and that void within you was filled once again.

You felt complete.

[controversialhottakes]

No. It makes sense for some exams to be open-book, but not all of them. University isn't supposed to be easy and stress-free, and you're not there to learn how to take notes and look things up - these are the skills you should already have before you enter higher education, and then you naturally get better at them as you attend classes, etc. Some things are stressful, life is stressful, and the best thing you can do is learn how to cope with it.

Also, higher education isn't for everyone, nor should it be, that's fine and normal. If you really hate it, you're better off doing something else for your own good. It doesn't matter if it's because you're not good at studying, not enjoying the world of academia, don't know why you're even there in the first place, or are just plain lazy and would rather watch Netflix than put in any work outside of the classroom.

Imagine future doctors were not expected to learn anything by heart. They'd be pretty much learning on the job. Some disciplines do rely more on e.g. writing papers and less on being able to memorise a lot of information, but you still need to know at least the very basics of your subject. What would be the point of spending three years at university if a 'specialist' knew about as much about their own subject as I would if I just researched it for one day?

This applies to Humanitites too, by the way. If you have a degree in, say, Modern Languages, you're supposed to be able to speak said languages. That requires you to actually sit down and learn them, anybody can use a dictionary and Google Translate, you don't need a degree for that.