#I don't have a name for their AU's yet 💀

[here2bbtstrash]

compromise (explicit)

genre: twilight AU, straight-up cracky-ass porn, do not look @ me

pairing: vampire!taehyung x human!reader x werewolf!jungkook

summary: you're torn between the two loves of your life - but maybe you don't have to choose.

word count: 10k 😬

contains: explicit sexual content~*~ no seriously like i wrote this with my dick it is EXCLUSIVELY twilight-flavored porn sdhfjdkgsdf - taehyung is a vampire, jungkook is a werewolf, reader is in love with both of them, they can't stand each other, yktfv !!!! this is actually an incredibly poorly negotiated threesome, so uh, don't do it like this kids!!!!! just enjoy the filth 🫡 which specifically contains: a m/m/f threesome ft. mid-sex jealousy lol, biting, nipple play, clit stim and fingering, clit biting 💀, cunnilingus, spitting, neck.... licking?, a lot of body temperature descriptions bc we're sticking to steph's hot/cold lore bc i think it's funny idk, blowjobs/throat fucking, spit-roasting, first times, unprotected sex, some mildly improbable sex positions because they both have superhuman strength lmfao, a smidge of dirty talk/praise kink, ass play, anal sex, good ol' DP, annnnnd the grand finale: neck-biting and blood-drinking 🤭 also tae and jk throw "slurs" like 'leech' and 'dog' at each other the whole time sdfsdfjkf 💜

A/N: SURPRISE! AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I WILL NOT BE EXPLAINING MYSELF BUT UHHHH ENJOY SOME NONSENSE!!!!

thank you to @haliiimede for the incredible banner 🥺

read on AO3!

~*~

You’ve been on edge all evening, watching, waiting.

As the sun slips below the horizon and reddens the sky on its departure, you try not to read it as an omen of what’s to come. Night pours out black like it always does, dark blanketing the lush green outside your bedroom window, but your stomach refuses to untwist.

Not even the touch of Taehyung’s hand can settle your nerves, despite how familiar it is, cold as ice, hard as marble. He’d climbed in your window at dusk, the way he’s done every night for months now, but tonight the air between you is heavy. Tonight you can barely look at him.

“Jagiya,” his hundred-year-old voice drips, sweet like honey, rich like blood in the quiet of your room. “What’s wrong?”

You haven’t even opened your mouth to answer when his head snaps up, clearly alerted by some sound your weak human ears have yet to pick up on.

Right on time, then.

“Tae,” you murmur softly, bringing one hand up to cup his cheek. Your thumb strokes lovingly over the flawless perfection of his face as your human eyes meet his: rich ochre, deep enough to drown in. He’s well-fed; you made sure that would be the case when you planned this. You need every possible element on your side tonight.

He cuts you off with a growl before you can say more than his name. “Why is that dog here?”

The word spat through his clenched teeth sends a fresh wave of anxiety spiraling through your bloodstream. “Please don’t call him that, Tae.” Your voice is barely more than a whisper. “He’s my best friend. I wanted the three of us to talk.”

You realize you can hear it now, coming up the road: the distant but unmistakable rattle of Jungkook’s motorcycle. It draws closer and closer, until it’s underscored by the crunch of gravel as he pulls into the driveway. When Jungkook finally kills the engine, the silence in your bedroom feels loud.

Taehyung doesn’t speak, but you can tell he’s furious, every muscle in his body pulled tight. His hands curl into fists, flexing restlessly at his sides, and even the well-defined line of his jaw jumps like he’s holding back the urge to tear something apart.

You do the only thing you can think of to calm your boyfriend: you take his face in your hands and pull him in for a deep kiss.

As your lips touch, it finally sinks in: how scared you are about tonight– you’re shaking like a leaf in Taehyung’s arms, even though you know he’d never hurt you. At least not purposefully.

The heat of your mouth seems to distract Taehyung a little, but there’s still fury in his kiss, in the soft growls that he can’t quite suppress as his tongue rolls over yours.

Your bedroom door creaks on its hinges, and you pull away from Taehyung just in time to see a bright smile drop off Jungkook’s face as he stands in the threshold. Your heart plummets into your stomach. Three seconds in and you’ve already ruined everything. How very human of you.

Moving an inch back from Taehyung, you unwind your arms from around his neck and try to regard both of them at once. This conversation suddenly feels much harder to navigate than you’d anticipated.

“Hi, Jungkook,” you say softly. Your best friend is practically glowering in the doorway now.

“I thought you wanted to talk. I don’t need to see him turn you. Or suck your soul out, or whatever.”

You try to stay calm, because someone has to. “It was just a kiss, Jungkook. I meant it, I do want to talk.” Your gaze flits from Jungkook to Taehyung. “To both of you.” As your eyes find Jungkook’s again, you pat the bedspread on your other side. “Will you come sit down?”

Taehyung makes a noise so otherworldly that chills rip up your spine, enough to make you shiver. “He’s fine where he is.”

“Tae,” you turn back to him, your face twisted with emotion. “Please.”

Jungkook crosses into the room with an unhurried confidence despite the slight hesitation in his steps, as if he’s preparing for your boyfriend to lunge at any moment but sure he’d win the fight. To your surprise, he doesn’t follow the path you’d indicated to join you and Taehyung. Instead, he moves to stand in front of you at the foot of the bed, and then–

Your jaw drops as Jungkook, still slow, still confident, sinks to his knees in front of you and Taehyung.

“How’s this?”

“Swearing your loyalty, mutt?” Taehyung snaps.

Jungkook doesn’t even look at him. “Not to you.”

“Thank you, Jungkook,” you murmur softly. “And thank you for coming here. And I’m sorry I haven’t told either of you why.”

“You didn’t even tell me he was coming!” Taehyung interjects, indignant, and you sigh.

“You’re right. And I should have. But you can see why I was scared to, right? I didn’t think either of you would agree if you knew you’d be in the same room.”

They both shrug a little, like they can’t argue with that.

It all starts to well up in your chest before you can focus on remaining rational, the way you’d planned to. The emotions, the pain. Your very human weaknesses.

“I don’t think you two realize how hard this is for me. How hard it is that you feel the way you do about each other,” you begin. “Neither of you can know what it’s like to wake up and feel like you’re being torn in half. But that’s every day for me.”

Jungkook tries to say your name, but falls quiet again when you shake your head.

“It doesn’t feel fair. Any of this. It’s not fair that you’re both…” you pause, searching for the word. “…superhuman, something I may never understand. It’s not fair that I love you both, in such different but equally strong ways, so much sometimes that it feels like my heart might give out. And it’s not fair that you hate each other. That you can’t even be in the same room.”

Taehyung’s icy touch on your skin makes you shiver, and you realize he’s wiping away errant tears that have started to roll down your face.

“And it’s not fair,” you continue, “that you expect me to choose. That there’s supposed to be an answer here. I’ve nearly lost each of you trying to figure it out. So my choice is that I won’t choose. I don’t want either of you if I can’t have both of you.”

“What?!” Taehyung’s eyes flash when he pulls back, as quickly as if you’d just slapped him.

“Listen to me,” you command, your voice laced with determination now. “Taehyung. I love you. You are my soulmate. My person. I want to spend the rest of our lives with you.” You sniff a little, taking a big breath in, and your chest shakes as you let it out again. “But all of that is also true of Jungkook. And I’m tired of pretending it’s not.”

Taehyung blinks, dazed, like he can't believe what you’re saying. When you glance down at Jungkook, still knelt on the floor, a smile is ghosting over his mouth.

“That leech really didn’t understand our bond, huh?” Jungkook asks softly, as if only you can hear the question. “Didn’t understand that I was the one who was there for you, who picked up the pieces when he fucked off to Paris to—”

“Jungkook,” you cut him off, your tone a warning. “Stop. This goes both ways. I love you, but you also need to understand that my feelings for Taehyung are just as strong. That’s not changing even though we’ve hurt each other. We’ve all hurt each other.”

Jungkook falls silent again, and you turn your gaze back to Taehyung. Your heart aches at the unmistakable betrayal you see in his eyes.

“Taehyung,” you breathe. “Please. I can’t be without you. Without either of you. I’m just asking you to try. For me.”

“Well, I don’t need to mull it over.” Before you have a chance to react to his words, Jungkook surges up and kisses you hard on the mouth, and you make a soft noise of surprise against his lips.

You know you should pull away and tell him to stop, but Jungkook’s touch is warm enough to melt, and you lose your focus as your whole world is knocked entirely off-axis. Your head spins when his tongue traces over your bottom lip, and it’s suddenly hard to think about anything else.

Taehyung growls, low in his throat, like the distant rumble of thunder. It’s enough to drag you back, and you break the kiss with a gasp.

As if he can read the expression on your face, Jungkook wordlessly drops down onto the bed on the other side of you. You slide a hand over the firm muscles of his thigh, giving him a reassuring squeeze before turning to face your boyfriend.

Taehyung’s gaze traces over the floorboards, and it’s clear a thousand thoughts are running through his mind, thoughts you wish you could hear for yourself.

“Please hear me, Tae,” you try again, your voice low. “I want you. All of you. Intimately. I know you want that too.” The subject makes his gaze snap up, and you reach for him, a desperate attempt to try and keep him with you.

When you grab Taehyung’s hand, his ice-cold skin is a shock compared to the heat of Jungkook’s body under your other palm. But it’s familiar, it’s comforting, the touch of this man, whom you love so intensely that it terrifies you.

“And I know you’ve been scared to try. Scared of yourself and what might happen,” you continue, and Taehyung nods slowly, his eyes searching yours. “But… maybe this is it. Doesn’t it make sense? If Jungkook is here, it might be easier for you to stay in control with me.”

“And I can protect her if you don’t,” Jungkook adds with a smirk.

“So please, Taehyung.”

He stares at you, and you stare back, waiting for his answer. It finally comes in his husky voice, spoken as reverently as a prayer.

“I would do anything for you.”

The admission is chased by his hand at the back of your neck, pulling you in for a fierce kiss. You’re so relieved that you feel yourself near the verge of tears again, despite the icy thrill that dots up your spine as his mouth moves against yours. Taehyung’s teeth just barely scrape over your bottom lip, and you can’t help whimpering into his mouth in response. Like he’s trying to keep up, you almost instantly feel the heat of Jungkook’s mouth against your skin, his lips and tongue trailing down your neck and along the stretch of your shoulder. You make another soft noise at the way his hands start to roam over your body, restless, searching.

“Take my clothes off,” you pull away from Taehyung’s mouth to command, your eyes flitting up to his. “Let me give myself to you.” You turn to Jungkook. “To both of you.”

In a flash, Jungkook has your shirt over your head, and then it’s his turn to find your lips again, and he’s somehow even more passionate than when he first kissed you tonight.

“So fucking perfect,” Jungkook growls between kisses, and the rasp in his voice makes your nipples tighten under the thin fabric of your bralette. “Wanted this for so long.”

While Jungkook licks into your mouth, Taehyung’s nimble fingers find their way to the button of your jeans, and you lean back on your hands to give him better access. His touch is delicate as he undoes your zipper and starts to shimmy the denim down your legs.

“You too,” you break away from Jungkook to murmur, and you reach down to finish pulling your pants off. “I want to see you both.”

As they each move back from you to stand and disrobe, there’s a tense moment where Taehyung and Jungkook regard each other, and then Jungkook lunges and you scream.

You squeeze your eyes shut at a terrifying sound of something being ripped apart. Panic rises in your chest and makes it impossible to breathe— you don’t know why this was a good idea, you don’t know what you expected, of course this could never work, how stupid could you be— and then you hear Taehyung huff a dark laugh, seemingly unharmed, and your eyes snap open.

And he is. He’s fine. His shirt, however, has been reduced to tatters on your bedroom floor. Jungkook’s smirk is that of a cat who’s just swallowed a canary.

“Very mature of you, mongrel. I take it I’m meant to repay the favor?” Taehyung scoffs, and you keep your eyes open to watch him easily tear Jungkook’s shirt from his body, as if it were made of tissue paper. Your head spins.

Attempting to remember how to breathe is made all the more difficult when you watch them both strip down to their boxers. Your heart flutters in your chest as you realize in this moment how truly beautiful they both are.

Jungkook’s body in particular takes you aback– despite still having the enviably small waist you’ve always teased him for, the rest of him has certainly filled out over the years. He’s broad-shouldered and thick, with firm definition in his arms and abdominals that ripple as he reaches down to shimmy out of his pants.

It’s hard to believe this is the same kid you spent your childhood summers with, sharing secrets and making up stories, the one you used to call ‘Boba Ball’ or ‘Triangle Kimbap’ during the years he refused to cut his hair.

In stark contrast, Taehyung’s body feels like coming home. He’s striking as he always is, all long, lean muscles, a hand-carved statue come to life. Though it’s well into the dead of night now, you swear you can still see the glimmer shifting under his skin, like he’s stepping into full sunlight as he moves toward you. He’s just as brilliant, just as blinding, even in the dim light of your bedroom. Perfection incarnate.

You know it for a fact, can feel it thrumming behind your ribs, as true as the steady beat of your human heart. You love them both, unconditionally and irrevocably.

“Jagiya,” Taehyung breathes as he stands over you where you sit at the edge of the bed. “You’re glowing.” His hand cups your cheek, and you turn your head to press a kiss to the freezing center of his palm.

“I’m so happy, Tae,” you whisper, and he’s smiling softly when you glance back up.

“That’s all I want.”

You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes, and then Jungkook steps in beside him, and it’s like every piece in your heart slots perfectly into place.

“Are you ready?” Jungkook asks. Their superhuman reflexes move so quickly, you feel like you’ve only just begun to nod when two sets of hands are already on you, dragging you up to the head of the bed like you’re light as a feather.

Together, they push you down into the mattress, and then two mouths start to trace over every inch of your skin they can find. They alternate fluidly, everywhere at once: the brush of full lips, the sharp-sweet bite of teeth, the wet wash of a tongue. Your eyes roll back at the overwhelming sensations, and though you can initially tell them apart by the sharp contrast in their skin temperature, it all eventually melds together in your mind until you’re not sure where Taehyung ends and Jungkook begins.

The four hands on your body make quick work of stripping you out of your bralette and panties, and you’re whimpering and writhing and drenched with arousal when a warm tongue circles your nipple while a cold hand starts to creep up towards your center.

Jungkook sucks firmly on the stiff bud in his mouth, and you keen. “Fuck, Koo, oh god.”

Not to be outdone, you feel Taehyung’s teeth very lightly graze over the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, and your hips shudder as you groan again.

There’s a wet pop as Jungkook releases your breast from his mouth with a soft laugh. “She squirms.”

“She does.” Taehyung’s breath ghosts over your entrance as he answers. He presses a glossy kiss to the crease of your thigh, then slips two smooth, delicate fingers into the wet heat of your pussy, and you outright moan.

“She’s vocal,” Jungkook remarks.

Taehyung crooks his fingers to make you cry out again, and he falls into a steady stroking motion. “She is.”

“You’ve done this before?”

Your breath coming in shallow pants now, you manage to lift yourself up onto your forearms and interject. “We’ve never– not all the way.”

Taehyung smirks at Jungkook as his digits squelch inside of you. “We’ve done enough.”

Jungkook’s eyes drop to your face, and you meet his gaze. He cups one of your breasts in his hand, massaging it in his palm before taking the peak of your nipple between his fingers. You whine as he gently rolls the bud in a circle. “What have you done?” he asks, his voice softer this time.

“What do you think, jagi?” Taehyung answers confidently before you can respond, your pussy still gripping tight around his fingers. “Want to show wolfboy here how well you suck my cock?”

Heat flushes your face at the thought, and Jungkook practically snarls down the bed at Taehyung. “Or maybe you can show me how you eat her out, and then I’ll show you how it’s really done.”

Taehyung’s expression falters just the slightest amount, but it’s enough for Jungkook’s keen senses to notice. “Wait– you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

You shake your head, struggling to keep up, your mind fighting not to give into the euphoria of their hands continuing to work your body. “We haven’t. Tae’s not–”

“What, not a man?” Jungkook snaps, paired with a tug of your nipple. “I could’ve told you that.”

The sigh that escapes your mouth is edged with a moan as Taehyung’s thumb brushes lightly over your clit. “He’s not ready, Jungkook.”

“I’m sorry, he doesn’t want to eat you out because he’s too scared he’ll fucking eat you?”

Taehyung scoffs between your legs, but Jungkook is already shifting to his knees, clearly having heard enough. “That’s it. Turn the fuck over.”

You appreciate the consideration when Jungkook guides you to sit up and get on hands and knees across the width of the bed, nudging you forward so that he can kneel down behind you on the mattress. The positioning is ideal for Taehyung to meet you on the other side.

There’s a cold flash in Taehyung’s eyes as he circles the bed, not unlike a predator stalking prey. Watching him sends more arousal flooding through you, enough that the crux of your thighs is painted with slick when Jungkook encourages them apart from behind.

You can see Taehyung’s length straining against the confines of his underwear as he stands in front of you, and he laughs softly when you reach up to pull him out, too greedy to wait. He’s beautiful, long and hard and weighing heavy in your palm. Your eyes roll up to meet Taehyung’s, deep amber and brimming with lust as you press gentle kisses to the rim of his cockhead.

The wet smack of your mouth is chased with a fluttering whimper when Jungkook slides two fingers through your dripping folds to roughly part your pussy lips. You can feel yourself dripping, can hear the dark hum Jungkook emits in response.

“You look delicious,” he rasps. “Can’t believe this parasite would rather have your blood.”

In hopes it will distract him from Jungkook’s insult, you choose that moment to swallow Taehyung down, and your plan seems to work. Taehyung’s fingers snake through your hair and his head tips back as you stretch your lips over his shaft. You find yourself whining softly around him at the feeling alone, the smooth press of his cock against your tongue.

You hollow your cheeks around Taehyung and slowly begin to suck along his length, eliciting a deep hiss from him, your hand pumping in time at the base where your mouth can’t reach.

It takes a conscious effort to hold in a moan when you feel the first touch of Jungkook’s tongue, dragged thick up your slit like a hot knife through butter. You arch your spine, your body begging for more, and his hands grip the soft flesh of your ass as he spreads you open and indulges.

Jungkook eats you like a man starved, shoving his tongue into your pussy with enough force to slide Taehyung’s cock further into your mouth. Taehyung’s tip teases into the back of your throat, and he groans when you swallow to urge him over the edge.

“Fuck, jagiya,” he pants as you continue to bob up and down, relentless, spurred on by every sloppy pass of Jungkook’s tongue. “If only that mutt could see how good you look with my cock in your mouth.”

Pleased at Taehyung’s praise and choosing to ignore his dig at Jungkook, you lean forward to take even more of him, until the whole of his glass-hard cock is crammed down your throat. You can feel drool welling up on your tongue, can feel your muscles trying not to choke around him, made all the more difficult by the way Jungkook is steadily fucking his tongue into you now.

The shudder of your throat matches the tremble in Taehyung’s hips, and you can tell he’s fighting the urge to push you past the limits of what a human can take.

There’s a part of you that wishes he would.

You gag softly as you pull off of him, giving both of you a moment to collect yourselves. One of Taehyung’s large hands pets over your hair, encouraging, and you drop your forehead down to rest in the crook of your elbow. Without the distraction of sucking Taehyung’s cock, the pleasure of Jungkook’s hot mouth on your pussy is overwhelming, and you can’t help moaning into the mattress.

“God, just like that, Koo.”

Managing to pull yourself back up for more, you coax a soft groan from Taehyung as you start to kitten lick up his shaft. Jungkook pulls away from your center just as you take Taehyung into your mouth again.

“You taste so fucking good. Bloodsucker doesn’t know what he’s missing. But he can enjoy my sloppy seconds.”

The sudden wet sound of Jungkook spitting is so loud that even Taehyung flinches, and your cunt clenches at the slick-splatter feeling. Wasting no time, Jungkook dives back in, eagerly shoving the mix of saliva and arousal into your entrance with his tongue, and it’s all you can do to focus on the cock in your mouth.

Taking Taehyung faster this time, you build up to a steady rhythm, your hands fisting the bed sheets beneath you as you swallow him down. You make an audible gulping sound with each pass, his length dipping over and over into the tight squeeze of your throat. Taehyung can’t hold back, grunting a steady stream of curses as you suck him off just the way he likes.

When Jungkook outright growls between your legs, you feel it more than hear it, and the vibrations that roll through you are enough to make your toes curl. You pull most of the way off, sliding your lips down Taehyung’s shaft to suckle at the head of his cock as you whimper gently around him.

With his fingertips gripping your ass bruising-hard, Jungkook’s lips slide up your folds until he finds the underside of your clit. Your thighs quiver violently when his tongue darts out for one rough flick over the sensitive bud. There’s no stifling the way you moan when Jungkook repeats the action, again and again, falling into a steady lapping rhythm that makes your whole body shake.

His mouth is so wet and so warm that you completely lose your ability to multitask. Your jaw goes slack around Taehyung’s length, drool spilling onto the sheets beneath you until Taehyung finally withdraws. You don’t have enough space in your brain to try and stroke his ego to keep things fair— you’re entirely lost in the heat of Jungkook’s tongue over your clit. Your hips shove back toward Jungkook’s face to grind against his mouth, your own tongue lolling out as you pant and moan.

An ice cold hand tangling in your hair is enough to get your eyes to refocus, and you glance up at Taehyung just in time for his grip to tighten. The sting of it sparkles like diamonds against your scalp as he forces your head back and watches you fuck yourself on Jungkook’s tongue.

“Feels good, jagiya?” Taehyung purrs, speaking up to be heard over the gasps and slurps of Jungkook as his mouth works your pussy, drinking up every drop.

You can’t think or speak, can’t do anything except nod dumbly and try to keep your eyes from rolling up into your skull. Taehyung cranes your head back another inch and you whimper at the pressure. “Gonna come on puppy’s tongue?”

“Uh-huh,” you manage to choke out, and you outright keen when two of Taehyung’s slender fingers reach down to find one of your nipples and twist. The shock of pleasure-pain rips through your whole body, and fuck, it’s enough. Taehyung drops his grip on your hair just as your orgasm hits, and your head bounces against the mattress as you collapse into shuddering moans, your body trembling all over.

Your thighs threaten to give out, but Jungkook’s hands find purchase under your hips to keep you up. You let him hold your weight entirely like it’s nothing at all, his face and tongue still buried in you as your pussy gushes and flutters around him.

Everything eventually softens into the warm glow of comedown, your moans dissolving to gentle whimpers, and then Jungkook slowly lowers you to the mattress. His hands slip down to keep your thighs pulled apart, and he leans in for a few more licks to your cunt, your whole body shivering with oversensitivity at each pass until he finally relents.

“First orgasm’s mine,” Jungkook remarks, like it’s casual.

You glance up to see Taehyung baring his teeth, and you roll onto your side despite how heavy your limbs still feel. “I’ll make her come harder. Let me taste you next, jagi.”

“Tae, wait,” you murmur, pushing yourself up onto your hands. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

Jungkook’s smug response comes first. “How about you do it while I fuck her?”

“What?!”

If your heart wasn’t still racing from the orgasm, it would be now at the way Taehyung’s eyes are fixed on Jungkook, like he wants to tear him limb from limb. But Jungkook just keeps talking, as if it doesn’t scare him in the slightest.

“She’s got two holes, right? If I take her in the ass, her pussy’s yours. It’s like she said— if you can’t stand me, maybe it’ll tone down the desire to, you know. Have a snack.”

There’s a visible tremor in Taehyung’s jaw as he attempts to keep himself under control. When he speaks, his voice is strained with the effort of holding back. “You’re not putting anything… anywhere until after I do. I don’t care which fucking hole it is.”

At this, you finally interject. “Taehyung’s right, Jungkook.”

The staring contest ends as they both look down at you, and your eyes jump back and forth between them as you shift onto your knees on the mattress. “We’ve wanted this and talked about it for so long. It’s only fair that he be my… first.”

Jungkook, to your surprise, seems unbothered. “That’s fine. So long as I’m your second.”

“Lay the fuck down, jagi,” Taehyung growls.

You follow the command and Taehyung settles between your thighs with a determined cold-steel gaze, his knees sinking soft divots into the mattress. He fists at his throbbing-hard cock as you spread yourself for him, and when he lines himself up with your entrance, you hook your legs over his hips.

In the dim light, there’s an ice-shimmer sheen on his cock, still glossed with your drool. The tip nudges at your center, and you’re drenched for him, you can feel it, slick from Jungkook’s mouth and wet with your own arousal that drips down to coat his waiting length.

A shiver runs through you at the touch of Taehyung’s hand over yours, and he turns your palm up so he can interlace your fingers together.

“Jagiya,” Taehyung murmurs. “I love you.”

His free hand slips down to anchor over your hip, and then you feel him, the glass-cold weight of his cock starting to press into you, long and impossibly hard.

“Oh god, Taehyung,” you gasp, your head kicking back against the bed. “I love you, too. So much.”

You have to shut your eyes to focus on the feeling, on adjusting to the stretch of him, your brow furrowing as you try to breathe through it.

The warm brush of a callused hand over your cheek instantly softens your expression, and your eyes flutter open again to take in Jungkook above you. His warm familiarity makes you smile, as does the sweet expression on his face as he hovers over you.

“Hi,” Jungkook says simply, and you tip your chin up enough for him to understand what you want. He leans forward and his mouth captures yours in an upside-down kiss, one that you can’t help but gasp into when Taehyung fully bottoms out inside you.

Jungkook pulls back as your breath flutters into his mouth. “Is it okay? He’s not hurting you?”

You shake your head, eyes dropping closed as Jungkook trails kisses along the line of your jaw and down your neck. “God, you took him so well.” His voice smolders against your skin.

As if attempting to regain your focus, you feel Taehyung’s hand slip between your legs. His thumb begins to trace gentle circles over your clit, and your walls clench around him in response. “Oh fuck, Tae.”

“Can I move, jagi?” he grunts, and you nod, punctuated with a soft whimper.

“Please, Tae. I need to feel you.”

You barely get the words out before Jungkook’s mouth finds yours again, and your tongue licks hungrily against his as Taehyung slowly starts to move. His cock is so thick, heavy and smooth like marble as he glides over your ridges, and you moan eagerly against Jungkook, gripping the back of his neck like a lifeline as Taehyung’s hips fall into a steady rhythm.

“Oh my god,” you have to break away from Jungkook to gasp. “Oh my god, Tae.”

“Bet that tight little pussy feels so good,” Jungkook murmurs, lips brushing over your ear. When he pulls back, you open your eyes to take him in.

“Jungkook,” you nearly whine his name, overwhelmed at the way Taehyung has started to jostle you on his cock. “Wanna make you feel good too.”

The pads of his fingertips trace delicately over your cheek, and then his thumb slips down to pull at your bottom lip.

“Do you wanna take my cock in this pretty mouth?” The hand tracing over your lip slips lower, until his warm palm is closed over the column of your neck. You can feel the heat of him in every beat of your pulse, the hummingbird thrum of your very human heart. “And let me fuck your throat?”

An overwhelming desire to be filled from both ends makes your breath stutter in your chest, and you grip his forearm with both of your hands, nails digging into his warm skin. “Y-yes, Jungkook,” you answer, working hard to get the words out with how heavy Taehyung is stroking into you. “I need it.”

Jungkook dips forward to brush his lips over yours again, just the lightest touch. “I love you,” he murmurs softly against your mouth.

“I love you,” you repeat, your voice a near whisper.

Another kiss, and he’s smiling when he pulls back. “Be a good girl and open up for me.”

As Jungkook steps away to tug down and step out of his boxers, you feel Taehyung slow his thrusts, and then you gasp a little at how deep his cock sinks into you when he shifts forward to push you both up the bed.

“You feel so good, jagi,” Taehyung groans, and you can’t help but whimper when he moves you easily, grabbing your legs and slinging them roughly over his shoulders.

A yelp escapes your lips when Taehyung hooks his arms over your thighs and pulls them flush to his chest, causing your ass to lift off the mattress entirely. With the way he has you bent, the majority of your weight should be resting in your arms and upper back pressed flat to the bed, possibly painfully. But Taehyung holds you up so effortlessly that you feel like you weigh nothing at all.

The angle also shoves you just far enough back that your head tips over the edge of the bed, and you’re grateful for this small concession from Taehyung, to let Jungkook have his way peacefully, because he knows it’s what you want, too.

As Jungkook steps in to hover over you, Taehyung starts to bounce you on his cock again, and he fills you up so perfectly like this that you can only moan, your head tilting all the way back.

Jungkook’s hands pet down the length of your neck until he finds your breasts, angled up toward him and jiggling with every fierce thrust as Taehyung picks up the pace. You whimper when Jungkook’s palms close around your tits, and you feel the head of his dick toy at your bottom lip, gliding wet with precum that has already started to leak from his slit.

Letting your eyes flutter closed, you give yourself over to the pleasure welling up inside of you and stick your tongue out to guide Jungkook in. His groan is nearly a growl as his cock presses into your mouth to weigh your tongue down heavy, then slips even further back until he’s teasing at the clench of your throat.

The stretch of being used by both of them lights you up all the way through, like a live wire.

For a moment, you find yourself wishing that you weren’t human, that they didn’t have to worry about being gentle to keep you from getting hurt, that Jungkook and Taehyung could truly do whatever they wanted to you.

The thought is exciting and terrifying, and your heart skips a beat in your chest.

Jungkook holds himself still once he’s pushed all the way in, and your throat bulges up at the width of him. You have to remind yourself that at least for now, you are human, and you need to keep breathing.

Taehyung is thrusting balls-deep into your pussy now, and though Jungkook hasn’t started his own strokes yet, the way Taehyung shoves into you is enough to gently rock Jungkook’s length back and forth in the heat-clutch of your throat.

You hear Jungkook moan above you. “Oh fuck yeah, just like that.”

His hips just barely start to move in time, out to match each of Taehyung’s thrusts in, back into your throat every time Taehyung’s cock drags out of your cunt. All you can do is lay there and take it from both of them, a fragile fucktoy, drool slipping down your chin while Jungkook’s hands knead at your breasts and Taehyung’s thumb rolls over your clit.

“Look so good like this,” Taehyung grunts as he presses his lips to your calf hooked over his shoulder. “Wanna make you come on my cock, jagi.”

The plea makes you moan enough to gag around Jungkook, and he relents to let you catch your breath, strings of spit spider-webbing out of your mouth as you pant and laugh a little.

“Fuck me harder, Taehyung,” you breathe. “I can take it.”

It feels like you might bruise from the intensity at which Taehyung begins to stroke into you at your command, but it’s so good, you can’t imagine ever caring about the marks he’ll leave behind. The slap of skin on skin is loud, the way you moan louder still. The pleasure of it rushes up in your bloodstream and hits hard enough to make you dizzy, and the relentless rub of Taehyung’s thumb over your clit pushes you to the edge overwhelmingly quickly.

“Jungkook,” you gasp, your head tipping back towards him. “Please. Want you in my mouth when I come.”

“God,” Jungkook groans, nearly laughing as he slips his thick cock between your lips again. “You are so fucking hot.”

You take Jungkook back into your mouth, and you can already feel your walls starting to flutter around Taehyung as his cock plunges into you over and over. Jungkook’s heavy breathing and Taehyung’s strangled moans mix together in a discordant harmony, underscored by the wet sounds of your throat and your pussy as they fuck you from both ends. Your orgasm mounts, coiling tight in your core, undeniable now.

“That’s it, jagiya,” Taehyung groans. “Come for us.”

You nearly sob around Jungkook’s shaft as you reach your peak, your hips shoving up wildly in Taehyung’s grasp, your entire body overwhelmed by pleasure. Wave after wave of it washes through you, and your pussy pulses for what feels like an eternity, soaking Taehyung’s length in your juices.

Jungkook pulls out again to let you breathe, and you collapse back against the bed. The rush of air into your lungs is so sharp that it stings a little. Your heartbeat slams in your chest as Taehyung withdraws too, and then he leans down to cover your body with his.

His perfect lips find yours and he kisses you deeply, and it takes all the effort you have left to move your mouth against his.

“You’re beautiful, jagiya,” Taehyung murmurs against your skin. “You feel like heaven.”

“I love you, Taehyung,” you manage to whisper back.

“Aw,” Jungkook’s voice drips thick with sarcasm, and you’re ashamed to realize that you’d momentarily forgotten his presence. “What a lovely couple. Guess that orgasm makes the score one-to-one, huh Tae-Tae?”

You shiver a little at the loss of Taehyung’s body over yours as he gets to his feet, inhumanly fast, to move towards Jungkook.

“You know, I have no idea what she sees in you,” Taehyung scoffs.

Jungkook barks a laugh. “That’s fine. ‘Cause pretty soon you’ll be seeing me in her.”

Your heart is in your throat as you watch the two of them circle each other, their eyes burning with hatred. A low warning sound reverberates from between Taehyung’s teeth, but Jungkook just keeps going. “What do you think, bloodsucker? Ready to try eating pussy now that you’re not a virgin anymore?”

“I’d much prefer dog for my next meal, if I’m honest,” Taehyung spits.

“I’d love to see you try.”

“Please.” Your voice comes out shattered, and you kneel up on the bed, grabbing both of them by the bicep in a feeble human attempt to pull them apart. You know you don’t have the real strength to move either of them, but they clearly choose to relent, each taking a few reluctant steps back.

“I want both of you,” you exclaim, close to tears. “Please, please don’t fight.”

There’s a tense moment of silence, and you break it the only way you can think to. “Jungkook,” you shift to better face him. “You really meant what you said? About taking me… in the ass?”

Jungkook’s eyes widen as he fumbles for his words. “I-I mean, we don’t have to. I was just saying shit to make him mad, really.”

“But do you want to?” you press him.

Jungkook blinks. “I want to do anything with you,” he says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world, and your heart melts open.

“I want it, too.”

“I– really?”

You nod, unashamed. “I’ve tried it before, by myself. And I want that with you.”

“How many fingers?” Jungkook’s eyes go dark with lust when he asks the question.

“Two,” you breathe.

His mouth pulls into a dirty smile. “Might have to work you up to three if you want to take me.”

“Taehyung?” You turn towards him when you ask for his consent to continue, and he answers by leaning in for a kiss that steals all the air from your lungs.

Your kisses deepen and intensify until they’re a clash of tongues and teeth as Taehyung joins you to kneel on the bed. Jungkook disappears off to dig through your bathroom cabinets, and there’s a smug look on his face when he returns with a bottle of lube in hand.

Hands still clutching at Taehyung’s neck, you break the kiss momentarily to look over your shoulder as Jungkook settles behind you, and you spread your knees wide for him. The snap of the bottle cap is loud in the quiet of your bedroom, and it’s chased by the thick squelch of Jungkook depositing lube onto his waiting fingers.

“This shit’s cold,” he complains, and you laugh softly against Taehyung’s mouth.

“Everything feels cold to you.”

You reach back with one hand to better spread yourself for him, and then you whimper as you feel Jungkook’s warm, wet fingers start to trace over the rim of your hole.

It feels like you can barely catch your breath before Taehyung’s mouth is on yours again, kissing you hungrily. His teeth roll over your bottom lip, and you moan into his mouth as Jungkook simultaneously pushes a finger into your ass.

Hot pleasure overwhelms you as Jungkook slips all the way in, and Taehyung’s marble lips release yours to trail an icy path over your jaw.

“Fuck, Koo,” you groan as you adjust to the stretch of him, already so much better than your own touch. “I need another.”

“God,” Jungkook exhales in disbelief. “I’ll try. You’re so fuckin’ tight back here.” Attempting to work you open, he starts to rock his finger slowly in and out of you, and you whine again.

The glass-cold touch of Taehyung’s hand brushing over your hip makes you jump a little, and then he traces further down to roll his fingers over your clit, and your spine arches. The soft circles he begins to trace melt you open, and you can feel every muscle in your body slacken, including the tight ring swallowing up Jungkook’s finger.

It’s just enough that he’s able to squeeze a second in.

“Look at that,” Jungkook chuckles darkly. “The leech is helping.”

You wrap a hand firmly around Taehyung’s cock, jutting up proudly between his legs, if only for a tether to ground you, to keep you from slipping out of your body entirely. Taehyung’s groan shudders over your skin as you slowly start to pump his diamond-hard length.

Jungkook doesn’t let up, scissoring his digits inside of you, and you press your hips back to beg for more until he’s shoved in to the hilt.

Taehyung’s deep voice purrs in your ear. “You smell incredible, jagiya.” There’s a sheen to his ochre eyes when you glance up at him. You’re not scared, not really, but your pulse quickens in your throat nevertheless. You know he can hear it, too.

“Tae,” you breathe, unable to get more words out, not with the way Jungkook’s fingers are relentlessly fucking your ass open.

Taehyung ducks his head and you gasp at the cold shock of his tongue when he full-on licks up the side of your neck. He keeps going, tonguing you in thick, slow drags, starting to groan softly in the back of his throat with each one. You let your head tip back to allow him access to more of your skin as you continue to work his cock in your hand.

You know you’re dancing with the devil, especially when you feel the lightest scrape of his teeth over your neck, but it feels too good to stop.

There’s a slow burn stretch at your rim as Jungkook just barely manages to fit a third finger past it. You will your body to relax so you can take him all the way inside, and you can’t help but moan at the overwhelming fullness. “Oh my fucking god, Koo.”

“Look so pretty on my fingers like this,” Jungkook grunts, pairing his words with a harsh slap to your asscheek that makes you yelp. “Can’t wait to see what you look like on my cock.”

Like a reflex, Taehyung growls against your neck, and you tremble at the feeling, at the sound of his teeth grinding together so close to your throbbing pulse.

“Taehyung,” you choke out as you release your grip on his cock and Jungkook’s fingers withdraw from your ass. You take Taehyung’s face in your hands, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Do you want to taste me?” His eyes flash dark with lust as he nods.

Jungkook is already shifting to sit at the edge of the bed, and he reaches for the lube again to pour more out, hissing softly as he fists the sticky gloss over his thick shaft. His legs part to give you room, and you back your ass up towards him. You can’t help but squeak a little when his hands close over your hips and he picks you up, your feet hovering an inch above the floor.

“Spread your legs,” Jungkook instructs, and you do. “Pull your knees up and rest your feet on my thighs.” You nervously find your footing over his firm muscles, but you’re a little scared to bear your full weight down.

Jungkook laughs when he realizes why you’re hesitating. “You can’t hurt me, it’s okay.”

At his encouragement, you press your feet more firmly into Jungkook’s thighs, your own legs shaking slightly with tense anticipation. He keeps his hands gripped tight to your hips, heat radiating out from where his palms press against your skin, and his voice is thick with lust when he speaks again.

“That’s it, baby. Line it up for me.”

You reach behind you to wrap your hand around his cock, and you can feel it pulsing hotly as you arch back to let his tip kiss against your rim.

“Go slow,” you breathe, and Jungkook leans in to press a kiss to your shoulder.

“‘Course I will. Don’t wanna hurt you.”

Inch by inch, he gently starts to sink you down to sheath him, pausing periodically to give you time to adjust. Your mouth drops open at the overwhelming feeling of Jungkook’s thickness stretching you open. It’s so intense that you want to squirm, to run away, the soles of your feet flexing restlessly against his thighs.

Your eyes flutter open again to find Taehyung knelt down, watching the two of you intently with a soft furrow in his brow.

“Tae,” you murmur. “Need your mouth.”

That’s all you have to say, and then he’s crawling towards you, settling on his knees between Jungkook’s spread legs. You shiver at the touch of Taehyung’s fingers as he pulls the lips of your pussy apart, and then he leans in to swipe his tongue through your folds just as Jungkook drops you an inch lower on his cock, and you whine loudly at the sweet rush of pleasure.

“Just like that,” you gasp to both of them, your head lolling back against Jungkook’s chest. “Oh, fuck.”

Taehyung’s tongue traces down to your entrance, slurping greedily at the wetness pooled there before dragging back up to your clit. The mirror-cold slide of his wet mouth over you is incredible, enough to make your toes curl when paired with the pressure of Jungkook’s hot cock pushing into your ass.

You feel the tight muscle of your rim spasm, and you sink another inch down, causing Jungkook to groan harshly in response. Just as you realize that you can feel his thighs flush against your asscheeks, his voice is in your ear.

“That’s it, baby. Took all of me in this tight little ass.”

“You feel so good, Koo,” you whimper, turning over your shoulder to find his mouth with yours. “So big,” you groan against his lips, and he smiles back.

As if to distract you, Taehyung’s teeth just barely brush over the hood of your clit, and you nearly bite Jungkook’s bottom lip off. You pull back to look down at Taehyung, and he smiles shyly between your thighs, feigning innocence.

“Watch it, bloodsucker,” Jungkook mutters, his voice strained. “Guess you need more practice.”

“No,” you manage to gasp, struggling to catch your breath between the two of them. “I liked it. Please, Tae.”

Taehyung leans in to repeat the motion, and the scrape of his teeth sends a hot spark of pain through you, enough to make your eyes squeeze shut and every muscle in your body pull taut. You can hear Jungkook groan behind you as your ass clenches around his cock like a vice.

“Shit,” Jungkook’s voice over your shoulder startles you slightly. Your lashes flutter open in time to see him reach his foot out and nudge at Taehyung’s thigh, not particularly gentle. “Keep fucking doing that.”

Taehyung obliges, alternating gentle passes of his tongue with increasingly rough drags of his teeth across your sensitive bud. The steady swings between pleasure and pain make your head spin, until Taehyung’s husky voice drags you back from the brink of all-encompassing pleasure.

“You’re dripping, jagiya.”

You whimper, unable to form words to respond, and then you can only moan as you feel one of Taehyung’s delicate fingers work itself into the heat of your pussy with a wet squelch.

“Pup’s so big and you’re so little,” Taehyung continues. “There’s no room left. Can barely get a finger in here.”

“I want to take you too, Tae,” you plead. “I want both of you.” It’s not just want at this point– you’re more sure than ever that you have to have this, both of them, together. “Please.”

Taehyung’s face darkens with concern. “We’ll break you.”

“Then break me,” you practically growl. “I need it.”

You’re expecting Taehyung to argue back, forever concerned for your safety, but to your surprise, he surges up to kiss you instead. A soft whimper spills from your mouth into his, and you tangle your fingers in his long dark hair and taste him until he pulls away.

As if to beckon him in, you wordlessly tilt your hips toward Taehyung as best you can with Jungkook’s thick cock still fully sheathed in your ass. Taehyung’s hands sink into the mattress on either side of Jungkook’s hips as he positions himself in front of you.

“Breathe, jagi,” Taehyung reminds you.

Your lungs burn as you inhale deep, and you try desperately to relax as you feel the tip of his glass-hard length teasing at your drenched entrance. Taehyung slowly starts to push in, and your hands search for purchase along the lean, flexing muscles in his arms, your nails attempting to scratch over skin that won’t give.

There’s a steady throb between your legs as Taehyung gently nestles himself all the way into your cunt, his cock pressed tight to Jungkook’s with only the thin barrier of your body between them. This feeling of fullness is beyond anything you’ve ever experienced, and the sensation of taking both of them at once is overwhelming. It’s spine-chilling cold and blood-boiling heat all in one, their cocks crammed so deep inside you that you swear you can feel them in your throat.

“Fuck,” Jungkook hisses, and he can’t quite hide the waver of pleasure that paints his voice. “Your dick’s fucking cold.”

“You’re actually just a fucking furnace,” Taehyung spits back, but it’s chased with a soft groan. 

Your mind lags, dazed with pleasure, but it slowly occurs to you that the temperature combination must feel equally good for them. Even if their egos won’t let them admit it.

“Move.” No one is more shocked than you at the commanding tone of your voice when you speak. “Both of you. Stop talking and fuck me.”

Jungkook acts first, his hands tightening on your hips to lift you, and the tight clutch of your ass dragging up the length of his cock makes you both gasp. Taehyung watches closely as Jungkook falls into a steady rhythm, and then he starts to roll his hips to match it, thrusting into your pussy each time Jungkook pulls your ass back down over his cock.

None of you can keep your composure or bite back your moans now, the pressure of their cocks simultaneously fucking into you feels too good. You can hear Jungkook panting in your ear, can see a muscle flexing in Taehyung’s jaw as he groans with every upstroke, and you begin to shove your hips up in time with their motions, your feet pressing firmly against Jungkook’s thighs for leverage.

“That’s it, baby,” Jungkook grunts. “Fucking ride us.”

Taehyung shifts slightly, putting all his weight into one hand to lift the other off the mattress and toy with your clit. You keen as he rolls it between his thumb and index finger, and you feel the chill of his mouth close over the slope of your neck.

“Oh fuck, Tae,” you whine as he starts to suck hard against your skin, enough that you’re sure he’ll leave a mark. You can feel every muscle in your body tightening, a dam of arousal threatening to burst deep inside of you, and something primal awakens there.

In this moment, you know exactly what you need.

“Taehyung,” you groan softly, and you already know he wants it too. “Do it, Tae. Please. Bite me.”

“Do not fucking turn her,” Jungkook growls, slamming your ass down so hard on his thighs that you nearly choke on a gasp. Taehyung’s mouth sucks even harder, right over your pulse point.

“No, no,” you protest. “Just a little drink, Tae. Please. It felt so good last time, I know. We both want it.” You’re outright begging, insatiable– your eyes threaten tears with how badly you really do want this, need this.

Like it takes every ounce of strength he has, Taehyung manages to pull himself off your neck, his hips still pistoning into you. “Jagi, I–I’ll frenzy. I’ll hurt you.”

You shake your head. “Jungkook is here, you can stop yourself. I know you can. Please, Tae, if you love me.”

As if those words were all he needed to hear, you see Taehyung rear back, and then you scream as his teeth pierce the skin of your neck. “It’s good Taehyung, it’s good,” you choke out, trying to keep it together. Your breath comes ragged now, in harsh, broken sobs.

Taehyung is loud when he drinks from you, slurping and gasping and groaning unabashedly, and you shiver violently at the icy wash of his tongue circling over your wounds.

The world begins to blur at the edges, bleeding out, like time itself is slowing. You feel your climax winding tighter inside of you even as your body starts to go weak, held up like a ragdoll in Jungkook’s grip as they both continue to fuck you full.

Jungkook growls like a clap of thunder, and it’s enough to bring Taehyung back to his senses. His head snaps up angrily, your blood momentarily forgotten. You just barely manage to focus your gaze on Taehyung’s face to see him bare his teeth in a vicious snarl at Jungkook, more monster than man.

“What is it, pup? Want a taste?”

Your mind moves slowly, and just as you think to yourself that Jungkook will scoff at the very idea, maybe even try to fight Taehyung for suggesting it, a new sensation flutters against your neck. It’s unmistakable, the touch of Jungkook’s tongue over the same spot, hot enough to burn the delicate skin that was just made so cold by Taehyung’s mouth.

“Oh fuck,” you moan loudly.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Taehyung purrs, chased with a dark laugh, and your mind is too dizzy to know which of you he’s asking.

“She’s sweet,” Jungkook confirms, and your eyes roll back at the warmth of his tongue when it returns to your neck. Taehyung laughs even louder.

“He’s not gonna leave any for me. Can I give you one more set, jagi?”

“Please,” you gasp. “I’m so fucking close, Tae.”

Your head feels heavy on your neck now, and it takes all the strength you have to look at Taehyung when you feel the brush of his marble palm against your cheek. “I love you,” he murmurs, and then there’s an animal sound as his teeth tear a fresh gash into the other side of your neck.

Two cocks filling you, two tongues drinking you, your mind at the precipice of blacking out, the sweet pleasure-pain of ice and fire twisting all the way through your body: it’s all too much. Taehyung’s second bite sends you violently over the edge, and your vision goes black as you come with a strangled scream. White noise roars in your ears like TV static, and you feel the unmistakable throb of two loads filling you up simultaneously as your cunt pulses in an endless, overwhelming orgasm.

A voice somewhere in the back of your mind asks if these might be your final moments alive, if this shaky inhale you can barely take is the last breath you’ll ever breathe, and then the world goes dark as you lose consciousness entirely.

~*~

You wake up with a deep gasp, like coming up for air.

You’ve been laid flat on your back on the bed, and you sit up so fast your head spins, making it momentarily impossible to focus on anything. You squeeze your eyes shut again, trying to steady yourself.

“Oh thank god,” Taehyung’s worried voice comes from your right side, and you feel both of his hands close over yours. “I was just about to call Seokjin. Do you still want me to?”

The thought of having to explain any of this to Taehyung’s adoptive father makes your face burn with embarrassment.

“No, no, Tae,” you manage to croak. “I’m fine, seriously. Don’t call him.”

“You’re lucky,” you hear Jungkook scoff from your left. “I had about five more seconds left of you playing dead before I was going to tear vampy here to shreds. Guess there’s always next time.”

You wrench your eyes open in disbelief to find Taehyung and Jungkook staring at you, brows creased with worry.

“N-next time?”

“Do you still want that, jagiya?” Taehyung asks softly, and you have to swallow down the urge to cry. “You still want both of us?”

“More than anything,” you choke out, eyes darting between the two of them, trying to take them both in at once. “I-I’m sorry I pushed myself too hard, but please, I still need–”

“It’s okay,” Taehyung interrupts you. “We clearly all got caught up in the moment. I’m just glad you’re okay. And now we know better, for… next time.”

You still can’t believe what you’re hearing, and you turn to look at Jungkook, trying to make sense of it.

Jungkook just shrugs. “Neither of us have ever felt anything close to what we felt tonight. I mean, it was insane. And we both love you, that much is obvious. So as long as you’re still breathing, I guess we’re gonna have to learn to play nice.”

Taehyung laughs darkly as your jaw drops open. “It’s true, jagiya. I never would’ve believed it before tonight. But, despite all odds, it would seem we’ve found a way to… compromise.”

lol i'm so sorry this was the dumbest thing i've ever written bye

[starstruckmoony]

style.

masterlist

pairing - sirius black x fem!reader

summary - you and sirius start dating after accidentally running into each other at a concert but confirm nothing, just to watch everyone lose their shit online.

trope/tags - band/celeb!au, instagram/social media!au, modern!au, fluff, terrible humour

word count - 1k

warnings - language

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

yourusername

❤ liked by starmanblack, cissy_blck, r.a.black and 804,337 others

yourusername mirror's dirty but i felt pretty

7,164 comments

starmanblack damn smash

yourusername thirsty mf

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luciusssy i love you too bae

cissy_blck 🥰

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yourusername i'll see what i can do

lily_evans UMMMMMM MOTHER?

mmmckinnon mommy.

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starmanblack PRONGS

user128836 i don't know the colour of anything

user702655 YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND????

user358991 sirius said smash and i agree

user073823 the only man we trust

user662627 i'm gonna clown so hard but why did half of sirius family like this post?

user491175 i almost sent a thirst tweet

starmanblack

❤ liked by yourusername, ev.rosier, marymacdonald and 799,853 others

starmanblack boyfriend vibes 😩

6,897 comments

yourusername very real

starmanblack i'm flattered

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mmmckinnon i'm just defending my wifey

casmeadowes i wasn't there???

user075764 DATE ME

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user943534 CONFIRM THE RUMOURS I'M BEGGING

user855465 y/n has a boyfriend and you just put boyfriend in the caption so i'll live in delusion from now on

user464646 i wanna be a horse

prongsyboy added to their story

yourusername

❤ liked by starmanblack, pandorasbox, rjlupin and 844,008 others

yourusername london, i'm speechless. i had the most amazing time with all of you last night and i can't wait to perform for you again 💞 hearing you guys sing your hearts out with me was truly magical, thank you sooo much and i love love love every single one of you 💕 also! a special thanks that friend group from the first row who gave me a bunch of plushies, my heart is extra happy 😚

tagged ev.rosier

8,677 comments

starmanblack i was there, i can confirm

yourusername I COULDN'T SEE YOU IN THE CROWD AT FIRST AND I GOT SO SAD

starmanblack lol i love you sm

starmanblack my guitar fits your aesthetic nicely

yourusername i know right?!? me and her were meant to be

marymacdonald when i say best concert of my life i mean it

yourusername i don't deserve you

bartyyy first row seats hmghnhm 😩

yourusername perks of dating the photographer

ev.rosier you're welcome bartemius

user201010 i cried ugly tears

user927161 i formally apologise to the people who were near me 💀

user472738 ARE Y'ALL SEEING THIS??? THEY'RE DEFO DATING

user928312 YOU PLAYED MY FAVOURITE SONG AND I WASN'T THERE 😭😭😭

user446286 one of those plushies was from meeeee

user018381 lost my voice but it feels so right

starmanblack

❤ liked by yourusername, marymacdonald, lily_evans and 810,777 others

starmanblack ok.

7,995 comments

yourusername he loves you

starmanblack he bit my converse

yourusername it was an act of love

starmanblack AND HE STOLE ONE OF MY DOCS

yourusername IT. WAS. AN. ACT. OF. LOVE.

yourusername bet you deserved that

starmanblack you were just saying he loves me?

yourusername was i though?

vance_emm what in the gaslighting hell is going on above me?

r.a.black wdym? i'm loving it

user242539 i've yet to see a normal picture of this little guy

user301453 THE BICKERING LMAOOO

user463646 HELP HE'S VIOLATING YOU

user857433 he's in his reputation era

user302770 THIS DOG PLS

yourusername added to their story

celeb_gossip

♡ 37,022 likes

celeb_gossip a scandal is on its way! 👀 there's been word on the street that sirius black and y/n l/n have had a little something going on since the beginning of the year, and we are almost certain that this isn't just another case of senseless rumours. 🙈 other than constantly interacting with one another on social media, the two have been pictured entering l/n's apartment after what seemed like a romantic night out. 😌 several sources can prove that the couple has been caught in ways that scream everything BUT platonic, and we deem them quite credible. 😉 but in the light of all of this, the two singers haven't said anything. what do you think? 🤔 are they secretly together? 🤭 or are they secretly laughing at all of us? 😶 leave your opinion in the comments! 😘

12,558 comments

user438185 oH

user019570 EVERYBODY STAY CALM

user837999 i hope they sue you lol

user262626 they're defo laughing at us

user823715 THE POWER THESE TWO WOULD HOLD AS A COUPLE

user192072 LMAO THEY'D BREAK THE INTERNET IF THEY CONFIRMED IT

user137753 get a life wtf

user020191 pretty sure they're together

user647275 this is out of line

user244411 nah cause paps should be illegal

user302906 I NEED THEM TO SAY SOMETHING I'M LITERALLY FREAKING OUT

user522727 dunno but i want whatever they have going on

yourusername

❤ liked by bellatrixieb, cissy_blck, r.a.black and 855,006 others

yourusername tea pages are saying that i'm dating this weirdo 🤪

tagged starmanblack

10,675 comments

starmanblack people just love being funny

yourusername making me shed tears

starmanblack you could have found a better picture at least 🙄

yourusername fym? this is top tier stuff

starmanblack you're not getting your shades back

yourusername funny 🤣 i'll steal them back today 😐

vance_emm yeah and i'm a hamster

marymacdonald you kind of look like one though 🥺

mmmckinnon LMAOOOOO

starmanblack not you talking

mmmckinnon lmaoing ≠ talking

user283800 guess this confirms it ☹

user916373 WHY DO REG AND SIRIUS' COUSINS KEEP LIKING ALL YOUR POSTS THIS MAKES ME CONFUSEDDDD

user758234 does this mean you're free to date me?

user424116 YOU'RE TROLLING US

user021725 double meaning? (pls say sike i'm desperate)

user024477 calling sirius up rn

user555641 GUYS THERE'S STILL HOPE MAYBE THEY'RE JOKING AROUND

user828295 okay but does it actually matter 💀

starmanblack

❤ liked by lily_evans, pandorasbox, casmeadowes and 873,253 others

starmanblack feeding the paps

11,994 comments

yourusername bet they're still starving

starmanblack we should make out and post it

yourusername twitter will go CRAZYYY

yourusername we look dead tho

starmanblack i reckon it's the cheap wine

yourusername you calling me poor?

starmanblack 😇

prongsyboy i still don't get how or why you had my glasses

starmanblack aesthetic purposes

xeno_lovegood that's cute 🤩

starmanblack facts ong fr fr

cissy_blck reggie's sil

bellatrixieb i'm so jealous

user472721 I WANT

user882923 I CAN'T DECIDE WHO THE LUCKY ONE IS

user382541 NAUR STOP MESSING WITH US

user773724 WHATTGEDHQUXJQDJJQSJJW

user482972 OH MY GOD?????????

user362613 narcissa's comments making me all hopeful

user924474 I'M SO STRESSED

starmanblack added to their story

[bbyquokka]

Tattoos and sex

→ PAIRING: Bang Chan x fem!reader

→ GENRE: idol!au | mua!au | fluff | smut — MDNI!

→ SYNOPSIS: Being the only MUA that can cover up chan's intimate tattoo, one thing led to another, however, the fun didnt stop there.

→ WARNINGS: explicate sexual content | she/her pronouns | make-up artist reader | smut | established relationship | unprotected sex | public oral sex (M) | oral sex (F) | sloppy bj | pet names (pup, little one, etc) | throat fucking | cum swallowing | cum sharing | nipple and breast play | face sitting | face grinding | clit play | fingering | squirting | oversensitivity | breeding kink | creampie | sub-space | use of the words 'sir' and slut'

→ WORDS: 7k ~ (7097)

→ requested by: 💀👑 | requests are currently: closed!

Feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

→ m.list — → you can also read it on my ao3

Clutching the red plastic tray, you walk up the array of food. It's lunch time which means you're on a break. The canteen is slowly but surely filling up with numerous people and idols - some you recognise and some you don't.

Salads, dressing, meats, tofu, the selection of food is overwhelming but also good considering the cooks cater to everyone and everything.

You settle on piling your plate up with something small and light, noticing that you're not terribly hungry but need something to eat to carry on functioning these last hours of your shift. You grab the utensils and a small, ice cold bottle of water before taking a seat.

You look around as you munch on your food, idols sitting with their group members, managers sitting with other managers. Words buzzing around the hall, idle chit-chat here and there.

You rub your shoulder, giving yourself a massage to relieve yourself of this harsh knot you didn't know you had until now - until you had time to relax.

“Need a hand, pup?” A soft voice behind you, tray plated high with food situating beside you.

“Mhm. If you're offering.” You hum.

“Anything for my darling.” You flush pink, feeling strong hands on your shoulders, fingers digging deep in the muscle to relieve you of your pain.

“You two are so sickeningly sweet.” You laugh, watching Changbin sit opposite you. His tray stacked with a variety of meats and salad, protein shake to accommodate.

“Are you exercising after?” You nod your head at the shake. Changbin nods.

“Planning to. That's if we have enough time.”

“Y'all busy?” 

“You could say that.” You hum as a response, feeling yourself relax.

“Better pup?” Chan asks softly, rubbing your shoulders.

“Mhm, much." You smile softly at him, watching him sit beside you.

“I can do a more in depth massage once we're home, if you get what I mean.” Chan smirks, wiggling his brows seductively. You slap his tattooed bicep gently, flushing pink.

“I take back what I said about you two being sweet.” Changbin pulls a face, causing you to laugh softly. 

“Sorry Binnie.” He laughs, waving his hand as if to say ‘It's whatever’ “How's the new tattoo healing up?”

Changbin looks at his fresh tattoo, a simple design of a tattooed dweakki on his arm, surrounded by various other tattoos scattered here and there.

“It's healing at least. Takes time, y'know.” You hum as a response, munching on your food. Chan's hand rests on your thigh, occasionally stroking it.

“How did Jisung manage with the compass tat?” Changbin and Chan both give each other knowing looks, before laughing softly.

“He urm, complained a lot.” Chan laughs softly.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. I think where it's placed, it hurt twice as much for him.”

“We did try and tell him it would hurt, but did he listen? Nope.” Chan sighs, shaking his head before letting out a small chuckle.

“When does Sungie ever listen?” You pip in, raising a brow.

“True.” Changbin says with a mouthful of food. “You do have to tell him several times to do the simplest of things.”

Chan nods his head and hums, agreeing with Changbin. His hand squeezes your thigh softly, making you feel butterflies in your stomach. His hand is warm, soft yet coarse. 

The hands of a working man.

“You can't deny though.” You begin, swallowing your food, “He does make some good music. Lyrically, he is a genius.”

“Ya think?” Chan puts down his utensils, attention all on you. You nod, looking at him.

“Yes. You could say I have a few favourite songs that happen to be Sungies.”  

“You mean, I'm not just your number one fave?! You have more?!” Chan pouts, hand over his heart as he sniffs. You roll your eyes, taking his hand in yours. You play with his tattooed fingers, slowly tracing the small patterns of hearts, diamonds and words.

A few of his nails coated in black polish, the remaining bare with a simple black design that he drew himself. His ring finger holding a promise ring you gave him months ago.

“You'll always be my favourite, Channie. You know that.” You pout, preoccupied with his hands.

“Mhm.” He hums, watching you trace the patterns. He gently intertwined his fingers with yours, your hands looking tiny beside his. You blush, looking up at him to see his eyes sparkling and laced with love and admiration for you.

“My beautiful pup.” He hums, cupping your chin gently. You flush pink watching the space between you both lessen as Chan leans in.

You close your eyes and pucker your awaiting lips. Just as Chan becomes close to pressing his plump lips against yours, you both get interrupted by Jisung.

“Ew! Can't you guys do that elsewhere?! I'd like to keep my lunch in my stomach, thank you very much.”

“Cockblock.” You mumble loud enough for Chan to hear. He chuckles and nudges your side with his elbow, winking at you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :��ﾟ. ───

“Y/N! Do you have some concealer?”

“Y/N, I need a blush brush, I don't know where mine is! ”

“Y/N, what lipstick shade are we doing?”

You take a deep breath, pinching the bridge of your nose. You took the liberty of hiding in the bathroom, needing a few minutes. You didn't think you could get sick of hearing your name – yet here you are.

“I'm seriously considering changing my name.” You mumble to yourself, pulling your phone out of your pocket.

Your sleeves rolled up to your elbows, hair scrapped in an unkempt messy bun. A strap around your waist with a pocket full of your makeup tools.

“Three forty.” You sigh. “I still have several hours left until this hectic shift is over.”

It's the biggest con of the year – kcon. People travel from all over the world just to see their favourite group/idol perform. You love kcon, however, being a make-up artist and the head in charge, it's a stressful day.

Deciding that you have been hiding for long enough, you push yourself up to your feet and walk out, preparing yourself for another game of “Where's this?” and “Where's that?”

You walk up to the idol who's make-up you were currently doing before you had to excuse yourself. Maintaining your professionalism, you smile politely as you take out your tools.

“So sorry for leaving you like this! Now, where were we?” The idol politely smiles at you, claiming that they understand. They even teased you, saying they would keep your ‘absence’ a secret. You both laugh and joke, make small talk about this and that.

Your colleagues continue to ask you twenty questions, that distinct pinch slowly returning between your brows.

“Just a few more hours. You can do this, y/n!” you tell yourself, taking slow, deep breaths. You resume your task of covering up the idols tattoos that situate on his arm. You, plus one other MUA, are the only two who are qualified enough to do tattoo cover ups as well as the typical makeup.

As you apply the final touches, a colleague knocks on the door before walking in.

“Ah! There you are, y/n!” You stand up straight, gently putting your brushes down as you look at your colleague.

“Oh, hi! What's up?”

“Uh, well–” They start. You tilt your head to the side, watching their cheeks flush pink. They shift on their feet, hands clasped together.

It felt… Awkward.

“You know that you and Chan are together.” You hum.

“Yes, have been for a couple of years now.” 

“Uh, yeah! So uh, you know how I do skz make up and you do others even though you want to do skz.”

“Mhm.”

“And you know how Chan has that crazy tattoo that travels to his – uh… area.” You giggle softly to yourself, humming.

“I do indeed, darling.”

“Well, uh. His stage outfits is crop tops and well, his tattoos need covering and–”

“And you don't feel comfortable covering it so need me to?” You interrupted, voice soft and understanding.

“Yeah. I don't feel comfortable covering up someone else's boyfriend's intimate tattoo.”

“I totally understand! Just give me a second to grab some extra things and I'll be over in about ten minutes.” Your colleague grins, thanking you before dashing out.

You collect fresh, new tools before quickly explaining to a colleague that you will next door is they need anything - which you hope they don't 

You walk out of the room, knocking on the next door before walking inside. Compared to the room your currently working in, skz's dressing room is much more calmer.

“Oh, hey y/n!” Felix walks out topless. His arms decorated in various small tattoos, the same compass laying dormant on his neck. His hair dyed black, the hair stylist giving Felix bangs that are long enough to cover his eyes. He munches on some bread, his lips turning upwards in a big grin.

“Hey Lixie!! Looking good as always.” You wink, noticing how defined his body looks.

“Oh please! This is nothing.” Felix blushes softly, brushing off your compliment. “You, however, look stunning!”

You raise a brow as you look in the mirror then back at Felix.

“I appreciate you being polite Felix, but uh, I've looked better.” You scoff. Felix rolls his eyes, chewing the last of his bread. You lick your lips, stomach growling. 

You've been so busy, you haven't realised how hungry you are until now.

“Are you hungry?” Felix asks, frowning. You nod slowly. “Come, I'll bring you to our little snack tray. Take something.”

“Oh, you really don't have t–”

“Shut up, y/n and take something.” Felix laughs heartily, grabbing your hand and dragging you to the snack tray.

Bags of fruits and nuts, bread, crisps, sweets and chocolate. You look around, struggling to pick. As you reach out to pick the last bread, a tattooed hand comes into view, snatching it away. 

A hand you all know too well.

“Chan!!” You whine, pouting. He laughs softly, opening up the packet and taking a bite out of the bread. You glare at him, failing to notice that he's in nothing but his stage pants and shoes. His hair straight, make-up to perfection. A wolf sleeve on one arm, various shapes and pictures on the other – his ‘memorial arm’ he likes to call it purely because it's decorated in things that remind him of the things and people he loves the most.

The side of Chan's body is decorated in various flowers, leaves and your favourite bird, trailing down his V lines to his intimate area. This tattoo is his most precious and valued tattoo because it reminds him of you. It's your favourite flowers and your favourite bird. With Chan being an idol, he is away most of the time, meaning you two get to spend little to no time together.

He got the tattoo on a whim. Promotions finished, it's holiday season and you both finally got to spend time together. The day he got the tattoo, he lied to you in the sense of him claiming he had ‘errands’ to run, and by ‘errands’, he meant getting the tattoo.

You were shocked when you saw it, but overwhelmed that Chan would do something like this for someone like you. He said he had been planning the tattoo for a long time, designing it and putting it together piece by piece. When you asked him why he got it so big, he replied in his typical, cheeky way;

“Because you own me.”

“There's plenty more food in the tray, pup!” You scowl at him, eyes turning into thin slits. Your gaze could burn holes into him right now. He smirks, teasingly taking a bite out of the bread, the very bread you wanted.

“But I wanted that!!” You point to it. Chan looks at it, then at you and gasps. 

“Really? Oh no!” 

“Chan!!!” You whine, becoming close to tears. You go to snatch the bread out of his hand, failing when he puts it out of reach in the form of him raising his hand up high.

“Now you're being an asshole.” You mumble.

“Yeah, c'mon hyung. Don't be a dick.” Seungmin laughs, clearly enjoying the show.

“Not being a dick, but she can have it if she begs.” Chan smirks. You flush pink, swallowing thickly.

“H-Have what?” 

“You know–” Chan leans in, his hot breath fanning against the shell of your ear. Your heart thumps against your chest, threatening to burst free. “The bread.”

You whine, slapping his bare pec as he laughs.

“You're an asshole, Bang Chan!” 

“Ohh! She used your full name, Hyung. You're in trouble.” Minho pipes in.

“Oh please, lino. My lil pup couldn't punish me if she tries. I know all the places that make her squirm and wiggle beneath me. She'll succumb to me in less than 5 minutes.” 

Your mouth hangs open, rapid blinking at your words gets lodged in your throat. A cocky smirk plastered on Chan's face as he takes a bite out of the long forgotten bread.

“Pft. Cat got your tongue, y/n?” Minho laughs.

“I–” You stutter.

“I rest my case.” Chan says in a sing-song voice, winking at you. With your words still lodged in your throat, brain failing to come to terms, you settle on slapping Chan's bare pec once again.

“Ouch!” Chan pouts, rubbing the spot where you slapped. 

“Fuck you.” You mumble, glaring at him.

“You wish.” 

“Chan!!” You whine, groaning and kicking your head back. “Stop!! I came here to cover up your tattoo, not to be teased.”

“Right right. But you love it, pup.” 

“You're such a menace.” You whine. Chan winks, humming in acknowledgement. He finishes the bread, licking his lips in a teasing way.

“That was delicious!” Chan rubs his stomach, acting like he's just had the best meal in the world.

“Just you wait, Chan. Just you wait.” You frown, making Chan laugh softly.

“I'm sorry pup. Am I teasing you too much?” Chan coos, stroking your cheek gently. You hum as a response. “Want me to make it up to you? Show you how sorry I am?”

“Later. I'm still on the clock and you, Mr, need that tattoo covering.” You gesture towards his tattoo, to which Chan sighs and rolls his eyes at.

“I don't understand why I have to cover it.” He mumbles, walking to a separate room to allow you both more privacy. You follow him, laughing softly.

“You knew this when you got it, babe.”

“Mhm. If the stylists just didn't put me in crop tops 24/7, then I wouldn't have to have it covered.” Chan walks into the room, you following behind. You close the door, locking it purely for the purpose of saving yourself and the unfortunate soul who decides to walk in, some embarrassment. 

“I don't mind.” You mumble. “Just means I get to see your well defined body.” You wink, trailing your hand slowly down his chest and abs.

Now it's his turn to blush. His soft, milky skin turning a rose colour, breath hitching in his throat as he watches your hand.

“Pup…” He mumbles.

“Mhm?” You cock an eyebrow, finger hooking on the belt loop of his stage pants. You tug at them indicating you want off.

“You need to either lower or remove these Chan so I can cover up your tat.” Chan groans, rolling his eyes as he unbuttons and unzips his pants.

He drops them half way down to his thighs, pulling his boxer shorts low enough for his full tattoo to show. You hum in contentment, kneeling down as you grab your concealing kit.

Kneeling to the ground, you become eye level with his penis. You swallow, ignoring how you can imagine his length and size just from the bulge. “Act professional y/n. you're still on the job!” 

His boxer shorts are low enough that his v lines are visible, some of his perfectly trimmed pubic hair peeking out from the waistband. You load up a brush with some concealer, carefully dabbing it on his tattoo. You soon become fixated on getting your job done, lips parting due to concentrating.

Chan watches you, watches you do your magic. He's impressed and proud of you for being able to do something like this. His heart swells with love and admiration for you, a warm smile pulling up on the corner of his lips. 

The bristles of the brush tickle him slightly, goose bumps rising to the surface of his skin as you dab and swipe the brush. You place a hand on his muscular thigh, your lips staying parted.

Chan's bottom lip gets caught in between his teeth. He can feel your hot breath fanning against the material of his boxer shorts, hitting his cock. He squirms a little to which you frown at.

“Channie, stay still.” You pout.

“Sorry…” He whispers. Minutes went by painfully slowly. Chan has to think of things that turn him off in order to stop his blood from flowing down south - but to no avail.

The longer time went on, the more he thought. He checks out the position you're in, swallowing as his mind taking him back to all those times he's fucked your cute little face raw, hands planted firmly on his thighs, tears spilling down your cheeks slowly becoming mixed with the cascade of drool. 

Your eyes telling him, begging him to continue, to have his way with you.

“Chan…” You whisper. Your voice brings him out of his train of thought. Then, did he realise that you had stopped what you were doing, hand hovering in the air.

“What's up pup? Why did you stop?”

“Uh, C-Chan, you're –” You place your brush down, swallowing thickly, eyes fixated.

Instead of acting all embarrassed and shy about it, he smirks, cupping his own erection and squeezing. You let out a small whimper, pressing your lips together in a thin line. You feel your core throb, lust and excitement pooling in the pit of your stomach. 

“Like what you see, pup?” Chan groans, his tendons visible as he rubs and squeezes his own cock.

“Y-Yes.” You whisper, watching the way his hands move, listening to every soft groan and grunt fall past his lips. 

“Want a taste?” He purrs. You swallow thickly feeling like you're under some sort of spell just from those three words.

“Yes.” You shakily whisper. He hooks his thumbs under the waistband of his boxer shorts, pulling them down and letting them rest halfway down his thighs.

Your heart beats against your ribcage hard, your wetness coating the material of your panties. His hard cock springs free before standing proud in front of your face. 

You gently blow on it, causing it to twitch. You giggle, watching his pre-cum slowly trail down his length.

You wrap your hand around the base, fingers barely making it all the way around due to his thickness. Chan grunts, loving how small your hands look around him. You look up at him with lust filled eyes, tongue darting out to moisten your lips.

“Can't have you going out on stage like this, can we?” You purr as you slowly pump his length. Chan hums softly, tilting his head to the side as he watches.

“What are you going to do about it, pup?” 

“Whatever you want.” You press your tongue flat against his tip, swiping some of his pre-cum onto your tongue. Chan grunts, hips bucking at the contact. You giggle at his reaction, settling on giving kitten licks on his cockhead.

You pump him at a reasonable pace, soft hums and grunts from the man standing before you cause goose bumps to rise on the surface of your skin. His skin is hot to the touch, his veins protruding along the sides of his length.

“C'mon pup. I know you can do better than that.” Chan hums, his thumb stroking your cheek. You look up at him through your lashes as you wrap your lips around his cockhead. Chan let's out a throaty grunt, your tongue swirling along his cockhead before giving him soft sucks.

With each grunt and moan, it encourages you more and more. You push your head further down, trapping more of his length inside your warm and wet mouth. You hum, closing your eyes as you manage to stuff half his length in your mouth.

Due to his thickness, the corners of your mouth burn and sting from the stretch. You focus on sucking Chan the way he likes it, the way that makes him moan like a whore. You pump what your mouth fails to reach, your saliva coating his length well.

You pull away for a split second, gathering some saliva in your mouth before spitting on his cock. You pump him fast, using your saliva as lube before reinserting his cock back into your mouth.

“F-Fuck pup. You suck cock so well.” Chan grunts, his toes curling inside his shoes. He reaches down, holding the side of your head still.

You know what this means.

You still your movements, hands placing on his thighs as he pushes his cock further into your mouth. You close your eyes tightly, feeling the ability to breath becoming a struggle, your gag reflex activating due to his cock reaching down your throat.

“Just take it like the good girl you are.” Chan purrs, watching his cock slowly disappearing down your throat. Tears stream down your cheeks, gag reflex activating several times making saliva accumulate and pool in your mouth.

The tip of your nose hits his pubic area, a hum of contentment coming from Chan as he grips the side of your head

“Let me use you pup. Let me use you for my own satisfaction and I promise, I will treat you like a queen later on.”

You whimper the best you could, thighs rubbing together for some sort of friction. Your panties are soaked with your juices by now, your body hot and sweaty as lust and hormones fill the air around you.

Chan slowly and cautiously thrusts his hips, careful not to hurt you at first and to test the waters. You dig your nails into his thighs, looking up at him with tears in your eyes. Chan shivers, growling as he becomes fixated on your face.

“Such a pretty sight.” His hips pick up in speed and power, his cock rubbing your mouth and throat in a delicious way. Drool bubbles from the corners of your mouth, spilling down your chin as your tears fall down your cheek, mixing together with your drool.

“Shit.” Chan grunts, his movements becoming faster and powerful. You swallow in an attempt to swallow the sea of saliva. You fail, deciding on letting it just spill. As you swallow, your throat clenches around Chan, squeezing his length in a delicious way.

Your throat starts to feel sore from the continuous abuse from his length, jaw feeling slack and knees sore, however, you don't mind. You love this, love being used by Chan. It excites you to no end knowing that you're the reason Chan is losing all sense of self.

His cock twitches, pleasure rushing through his body and veins. He kicks his head back, panting and moaning as he fucks your face raw. You slowly start to feel dizzy with lust, desperation kicking in.

Chan's cock twitches, a peripheral of curses and moans leave his lips as he struggles to maintain his composure. The knot in the pit of his stomach tightening with each thrust.

“I'm going to cum down your throat and you are going to swallow every last drop.” Chan growls, looking down at your tear and drool stained face. Your lashes flutter, a soft whine emitting from your stuffed mouth.

“That's my girl.” His body tingles, balls becoming tighter with each thrust, cock twitching endlessly. You help him reach his orgasm by swallowing him, as well as wrapping your tongue around his cock before flattening it to allow him to reach further - if that's even possible at this point 

“Fuck fuck fuck!” Chan pants erratically. Your eyes squeeze shut as he halts his movements. You feel his cock twitch, hot ropes of cum shooting down your throat. You swallow some of it as Chan pulls his cock out of your mouth.

You look up at him, giggling and opening your mouth wide to reveal the leftover cum you purposefully failed to swallow. Chan grunt as he kneels down. He shoves his tongue into your mouth making you whimper against his lips.

Your tongues collide as Chan collects your saliva and his cum on his own tongue, tasting the salty taste of himself. He pulls away, a smug look on his face as he looks down at your dazed and stained face.

“For being such a good girl, I'm going to treat you real good later.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“C-Chan, wait.” You whimper. 

“No.” He simply replies. He picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, walking to the bedroom where he throws you on the mattress.

You softly grunt, leaning up on your elbows as Chan kneels between your legs. His eyes dark with lust, hands shaking as adrenaline and hormones pump through his veins.

Animalist growls erupt from his throat as he grabs your work shirt. He rips it open, the button popping and flying across the room.

“C-Chan.” You whisper, swallowing thickly as he grabs your breast firmly in his hand from over your bra.

“Since the blowjob, I haven't stopped thinking about you. That perfect mouth of yours, your cute adorable moans. Do you know how much willpower it took for me to not get hard, to calm myself down?!”

You cheekily grin, fluttering your lashes innocently. “But Chan, you wanted me to suck your cock. Did I look pretty for you? With your cock between my lips?”

He shivers, squeezing your breast roughly. “Don't test me, pup. I'm already hungry for you.” He leans in close, breath fanning against the shell of your ear. “And the night is still young.”

You shiver, allowing him to take off your shirt. His lips attack the skin of your neck, teeth sinking and nipping at the skin as he expertly unclasps your bra with one hand. He hastily unbuttons your jeans, pulling them down your legs before they soon join the rest of your clothing.

You whimper, watching Chan eye your body.

“Fuck.” He shakily whispers. He dips his head low, kissing the valley between your breasts as he squeezes both your breasts. His lips trail to the left, tongue finding your hard nipple. 

With the tip of his tongue, he flicks it over the sensitive nub, causing you to shiver and whimper his name. He hums in satisfaction, removing the remainder of his clothes until he is just in his boxer shorts.

He captures your nipple in between his teeth, nibbling and biting it before harshly sucking. His tongue swirls around your nipple, his fingers taking the right one to tug and roll it between his fingers.

You bury your fingers into his hair, hips bucking upwards to meet him in a desperate attempt to grind on him or just to simply feel friction. 

“Such a desperate pup.” Chan tsk before kissing and sucking the skin of your breast making sure to leave purple marks.

“C-Chan…” You whine pathetically, tugging at his hair by the roots.

“Listen to yourself, you want me that bad huh?” 

“Y-Yes! I need you so bad Chan. I need to feel you deep inside me.” You whimper, pathetically begging. Chan shivers at your words.

“Good things come to those who wait, pup.” He trails his lips down from your breasts to your stomach, kissing along the waistband of your panties. He pulls down your panties slowly, throwing them on the floor before situationing himself comfortable between them.

He groans deeply, feeling his cock twitch in his boxer shorts as he comes face to face with your glistening core. It throbs, silently begging for something to enter, to feel full and euphoric. He becomes dizzy at your scent and sight, licking his lips animalistically.

“My gosh, pup.” He whispers. You flush red, feeling embarrassed about how wet and needy you are. Your juices coat your folds, much to Chan's pleasure.

He leans in, tongue instantly pressing against your aching clit. Your back arches as you feel him swipe his from your entrance to your clit, repeating the process several times. Your taste coats his tongue causing him to shiver and bask in the flavour.

“You taste delicious, y/n. fuck, in addicted to you.” His voice is shaky, adrenaline and hormones on high alert causing him to feel dizzy and shaky. He laps at your entrance, humming at the taste of you. His tongue poking your entrance, daring to enter. “I have a better idea.” 

He moves away causing you to watch him, brows pinching together. He lays flat on his back looking at you and smirking.

“Sit on my face.”

Those four magical words charmed you, your body automatically moving on its own. You shuffle to your face, legs either side as he holds onto your thighs. Your dripping cunt inches from his mouth as he licks his lips, your scent causing him to go dizzy.

You cautiously sit on his face, whimper when you feel his tongue flat on your clit. You hover, not wanting to put all your pressure on Chan because you don't want to hurt him in any way possible - however, Chan isn't satisfied.

“I said, sit on my face!” He growls. You whimper loudly, feeling his hands cup your ass and squeezing harshly. 

“Yes sir.” You whisper, obeying him as you sit properly on him. 

“Good girl.” He hums before sucking on your clit straight away. You moan his name loudly, pleasure rushing down your spine. As he sucks and licks your sensitive bundle of nerves, you take liberty in gliding your hands up your stomach to cup your own breasts.

You tilt your head back, moaning Chan's name repeatedly as you knead your own breasts, occasionally rolling and tugging at your own nipple. 

You feel Chan's tongue lap at your entrance greedily, desperately trying to catch every drop of your essence as his tattooed hands squeeze and part your ass cheeks in the process.

“Fuck, Chan.” You shakily breath out, running your fingers through his curls. His tongue effortlessly enters inside, his tongue caressing your walls. 

“C-Channie…” A simple hum can be heard from the man below you. You look down at him, his piercing, lust blown eyes meeting yours causing you to shiver. 

Before your brain could register what you were doing, your hips started to move on their own, the tip of Chan's nose nudging and rubbing your clit as you grind effortlessly on his face.

Normally, Chan would punish you for this because he didn't give you permission to do so, however, seeing you look so ethereal to him. Your head kicked back, fingers tugging and pinching your nipples, lips parted as your hips move erratically, desperate for release - it's enough to make him blow in his own underwear.

“Chan, fuck! Good, so good!” You cry out. One hand releases from your ass cheeks in order for him to pull his cock out of his underwear. He pumps himself slowly, wanting to savour the moment. He uses his own thumb to rub the tip of his cock, smearing his pre-cum around which makes his own hips buck.

Pressure builds up in the lower half of your stomach, your mind becoming foggy with lust. All you want is Chan, all you need is Chan. He's plaguing your thoughts and he doesn't even know about it. 

With every lick, suck and nibble brings you closer to the edge. Your thighs burn and shake from grinding down on him, desperately wanting to close but unable to do so. Chan knows your close, your exhibiting the tell-tale signs, the signs he knows too well.

Body shaking, lips parted but no words coming out. Your stomach clenching and being sucked in as you struggle to hold on.

“C-Cha– I can't!” You sob, the pressure being too much to bear. Chan hums, giving you the go ahead. You tug at his curls harshly, feeling your orgasm hit and wash over you in waves, causing the hair on your arms to stand straight.

Your juices squirt out on Chan's face, his already open mouth, catching each drop. With each droplet, he hums making sure to swallow. Once calm, you pant heavily, stroking his hair.

In one swift movement, your back on your back, Chan between your legs. He licks his lips clean of any remaining juice, wiping his chin with the back of his hand.

“More.” He whispers, taking off his boxer shorts. You swallow thickly, expecting him to slide between your legs and fuck you hard and rough, but Chan has other ideas.

Instead of his cock, he inserts two of his fingers deep inside you. You groan deeply, back arching as he pumps them, fingers curling along your sopping and tight walls.

“C-Chan!!” You cry out, gripping onto his wrists. “W-Wait!” 

Ruthless. His movements ruthless, fingers curling and abusing your g-spot making you uncontrollably shake and wither. Your hair sticks to your forehead, sweat coating the ends as your body burns.

He rubs your clit from side to side, rubs matching the tempo of the thrusts. You let out strangled moans, the oversensitivity burning, causing your nerve endings to be on high alert.

“Ch-Chan!”

“That's my girl. I know you can take it.” He kisses your thighs, biting at the skin as his hair tickles it. ”Can you take it, princess? Bear with it and cum for me again like the good lil pup you are?”

“Take it.. I can take it! 'm good girl.. I'd do anything for you.” You whimper, nails digging into the skin of his wrists.

“That's my girl. You're such a good girl for me, y/n.”

“G-Good girl. I'm good girl. Channie's good girl.”

“That's right. Who do you belong to?”

“Y-You!” Your head flops from side to side, the oversensitivity burning and becoming painful. Your juices spill out of your cunt, slipping down the curve of your ass and onto the sheets. Before you could warn him, your juices suddenly squirt out, landing on Chan's forearm.

Chan watches with a smirk on his lips, his fingers showing no signs of slowing down. He watches the way your body twists and turns, legs shake and your hands gripping onto the bed sheets. He pulls his fingers out before taking off his boxer shorts, situating himself between your legs straight after.

He tugs at his cock, lining it up to your entrance as he holds onto your waist.

“You've been such a good girl for me, pup. Now I'm going to give you what you've been waiting for.” He purrs. You give him a dumb smile, hissing as he pushes his cock inside your tight and sopping cunt.

He pushes all the way to the hilt, your walls contracting around him. He grunts deeply as he hangs his head low, the feeling of your tightness suffocating him.

“Shit.” He mumbles, before thrusting at a slow and steady pace. “Shit, you're so tight pup.” 

“C-Chan. More… need more!” 

“Does my pup want more of my cock? Are you greedy for it?”

“Y-yes. faster, harder. Chan, please I beg you. I need to feel so much more of you!” You eyes silently beg him, tears pricking your lower lash line 

“Awe.” He coos, stroking your cheek. “Look at you begging for it. You know what I like, such a slut.” 

Your body jolts suddenly, Chan's hips snapping harshly against yours as he fucks you raw. Your back arches, his cock instantly hitting your g-spot making you see stars. Your toes curl, the wet sounds of your soppy cunt filling up the bedroom.

“C-Cha–'' You struggle to say, feeling your mind slowly become clouded. You feel yourself slowly losing all sense, Chan being the only thing you're able to focus on. The way his cock drives deep inside you, his length rubbing your walls in the most delicious way that drives out every pant and moans. 

“I can't! Chan, i– deep, you're so deep!” A dumb smile plasters on your face, lips parted as tears spill from the corners of your eyes. Your body becomes consumed with too much pleasure, the tips of your fingers and toes tingling, your skin feeling like it's on fire.

Your juices coat Chan's cock with each pull back, spilling from your soppy cunt. Chan growls and groans, his fingers digging into your waist harshly, purple bruises slowly forming in their wake.

“Such a tight cunt. Your walls are squeezing my cock.” Chan groans deeply, tingles of pleasure run down his spine to his cock and balls, making it twitch inside you. “Shit pup!”

“C-Channie–” Your body tosses and turns, sweat coating your body. Chan pushes back his sweaty curls with one hand before leaning over you, resting on his forearms. His tempo slows down, but he stays deep inside.

“Look at me, pup.” He whispers, hot breath fanning against your face. You slowly turn your head, giving him a dumb smile. Eyes hazily and lidded, nothing but thoughts of Chan swimming around in your head.

“My dumb pup. Did you get fucked dumb from my cock?” He coos. You simply nod, unable to form sentences. “Cant even speak, huh? You really are a dumb slut.”

“Yes.” You whisper, unaware of what you're saying. “Chans dumb slut. I'm channie's dumb slut.” 

“Good girl.” He growls, his lips pressing against yours. The kiss is sloppy, teeth and tongues bashing and colliding. Spit mixes together, spilling from the corner of your lips.

He leans up once again, towering over you. Holding onto your waist tightly, he resumes his powerful and ruthless thrusting. Skin slapping on skin, the back of your thighs turning red raw from the constant abuse. 

“I'm going to breed my pup. Give you my seed.”

“Yes! Give it to me Chan. Breed me, please."

“You want my seed, little one? Going to milk my cock dry just to get what you want?” Your walls clench around Chan from his words, a deep grunt falling past his lips.

“Y-Yes!” You choke out, throat and mouth feeling sore and dry from the continuous pants.

“Fuck, such a greedy little girl.” His own voice raspy from overuse, his hips faltering at the thought of filling you to the brim.

“I might not last long.” He whispers, his eyes trailing to the space that connects you both together. His body shivers as he watches his cock penetrate you over and over again.

Your walls clamp around Chan, that familiar pressure building up once again. You claw at Chan's arms, red welts appearing on his skin and you wither.

“C-Chan. I-I'm…” Chan simply hums in acknowledgement, watching the way your juices continually spill from your swollen and overused cunt.

A couple more thrusts and hits on your g-spot and your orgasm hits you, hard. You gasp for breath, back arching violently from the bed as you squirt your juices all over Chan's cock, his lower half of his body and the sheets. 

Chan's eyes widen, his movements coming to a stop as he watches. “Holy–” He simply whispers.

Your body violently shakes, the ability to breath is apparent. You whisper and moan Chan's name over and over again, like a ritual.

“Still, to this day, you never fail to amaze me.” Chan growls, showing no mercy on his thrusting. He's being selfish, wants to chase his own high, fill you up nice and deep with his seed.

The oversensitivity causes you to pant heavily, choke on air. Body withers side to side, hands gripping onto the sheets tightly as you struggle to comprehend.

“C-Ch–” You sob, toes curling as tears spill down your cheeks.

“I know, I know pup.” His head dips low, eyes squeezing shut as his balls get tighter, the pressure becoming too much. “Just, a little longer.”

Your muscles scream at you, body slick with sweat. Your cunt burns and stings from overuse. Soft praises emit from Chan's lips, his orgasm approaching fast.

“Shit!” One final thrust was all it took. You feel his hot cum shoot out, coating your walls. His cock twitches with each release. You hum softly, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you feel him filling you up.

“It's so much.” He whispers, embarrassed as he hangs his head low. “I'm sorry pup, it's so much.” 

“More.” You simply whisper. Chan slowly pulls out of you, his cum seeping out from your swollen pussy. Your face scrunches up as your hips buck from the sting. “I want more.”

“No more, pup.” Chan softly speaks. Your bottom lip quivers.

“Why?!”

“Because–” Chan grabs some baby wipes, gently cleaning the cum from your cunt. You whimper, your cunt still too sensitive. “You're sore.”

“I can take it! Please chan!” You weakly lean up on your elbows.

“As much as I would love to fuck you into the night pup, I can't. You're too sore for any more.”

“But–” 

“No buts pup. We go take a bath, get some food and calm down. You're sore and tender and I don't want to hurt you anymore, even if it is intentionally. I get off knowing that you feel good, that's the main reason why I feel good. If I go back to fucking you at this moment in time and I see that you're in pain, it's not fun no more, pup.”

You pout, looking down. Disappointed? Yes, but you understand. Now that your hormones are slowly calming down, your head slowly becoming clearer, you understand his reasoning.

“Fine.” You mumble, pouting. Chan chuckles softly, pressing a sweet and gentle kiss on your sweaty forehead.

“I'll run us a bath, where we can relax, clean up and talk about our day.” Chan shuffles off the bed. ”After that, I'm going to smother you in so much love and kisses!”

You squeal as you get picked up in his strong, tattooed arms. You wrap your legs around his waist, arms around his neck as he cups under your ass to keep you stable. 

“How does that sound pup?” He whispers softly, lips brushing against yours.

“It sounds perfect Chan, just like you.”

→ note: i have no excuses nor any words, tbh. hehehehe :)  don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. enjoy!!

→ TAGS [open]: @chaneomma | @sstarryoong | @meltheninja13 | @laylasbunbunny | @oshimee

[hunterbunter3000]

Hi! I was the one who wrote the spy x assassin boyfriend Au idea! It made me so happy that you enjoyed my brain rot so much! I love your blog so much ✨

I had a few other random brain worms from Sweetheart and Boyfriend’s relationship in the AU that I wanted to share but I didn’t want to flood your ask box so much 😁

1. Boyfriend and Sweetheart have matching stabing scars from the fight that turned into a confession of love.

2. Boyfriend definitely activates Sweetheart’s cute aggression, that man has at-least one bite mark on him all times. Lowkey Sweetheart will bite him on sight without no words exchanged between the two 😂

3. Cuz I love Sweetheart as an agent of chaos, boyfriend is definitely 90% of Sweetheart’s impulse control. Everyone is shocked when Sweetheart’s Orange cat energy is dialed down when boyfriend is around. (Boyfriend loves Sweetheart’s chaos, he has that you-are-doing-great-sweetie energy ✨)

You don't understand how loud I'm screaming rn 😭 AND IDC IF YOU FLOOD MY ASK BOX DO IT AND IM SO HONORED THAT YOU LIKE MY MESS THANK YOU 🫂🫂❤️❤️

And Sweetheart being described as a cat is something I never thought I'd hear, yet here I am and I'm loving it McDonald's style

Number one is DEFINITELY gonna be in the fic. Like that's so sweet in a brutal way

AND NUMBER TWO IS TICKLING ME

Bf: Sweetheart?

Sweetheart: Hm?

Bf, smiling: What're you doing?

Sweetheart: Oh yknow just- biting.

Bf, chuckling: On my chest?

Sweetheart: Ey, these are man tits and you know it. Babies these big need to be marked!

And OMG with the no words exchanged, Sweets legit just latched onto his shoulder with her mouth and hung there💀💀 HE'S DOING CHORES AROUND THE HOUSE AND SHE'S LIKE A DAMN LEECH ON HIS SHOULDER LOL

And number fucking three cannot be wrong because what the hell

I feel like he's both- he's the calm and the storm💀

Sometimes he's just:

Bf: Sweetheart- SWEETHEART PUT THAT DOWN

Sweetheart, holding a grenade launcher: But I wanna use it!

Bf: N O

And then sometimes he's just:

Bf, with hearts in his eyes: You're doing great sweetie!!

Sweetheart, pulling out someone's eye: 😁👍

I'm so invested in these two man 💀 UGH WAIT I NEED TO NAME HIM AND WTF DOES HE LOOK LIKE

[i-willstealyourtoes]

I have other request but it's Hunter this when he's a Mafia boss and the reader is a singer and Crosshair likes her too so they compete for her love sorry if that was long.

omg I am literally so sorry I took SO long on this I was on hiatus for like... an eternity- I hope you can forgive me 😭🙏 I hope this is what you wanted my guy!! Here, have a song to go with this fic as an apology-

Hunter/Crosshair with singer s/o (Mafia AU)

(Okay I apologise in advance for how OOC this will be lmao 💀)

- Hunter saw you in a bar, singing your heart out

- He had heard good singers, but there was just something about your style that was so addicting

- The more the listened the more he got lost in your trance

- He couldn't believe it, he was usually someone to take time to get another person before being attracted in a romantic way

- But here he was, already sure that he wanted you

- It was just something about how you sang along to the Jazz, as if you had been singing it your whole life, as if you truly enjoyed being there

- It was so... refreshing? He liked seeing that peaceful smile on your pretty face

- He had to go (and you know, do his job) but he knew he would be back as soon as he was finished with work

- Crosshair had a similar reaction

- He was just in for one drink, then back to being alone, as he liked

- But hearing that voice?

- He was in a daze

- Usually, he didn't care about singers or whatever, but you.... you were different

- It was weird, it was like he couldn't control just walking over to you and asking for your name

- But before he could speak you simply gave him a smile and told him he could speak to you when your shift was done

- He didn't mind waiting, not at all

- It meant he got to hear you

- He felt a little guilty, feeling so jealous of all those eyes watching you

- He just wanted you and him to be there

- Your presence was intoxicating, and he was all for it

- When Hunter came back to the bar, he was expecting a group of people watching the way you presented yourself, in a graceful yet teasing way

- What he didn't expect was Crosshair, sitting, waiting for your shift to end

- He walked over to him and greeted his friend with a quick pat on the shoulder

- 'They're good aren't they?'

- 'Yeah. Good.'

- Hunter could sense his attraction to you

- He didn't normally stay long at public spots, but judging at the dent in his seat it was obvious he was planning to stay for long

- It was kind of cute, in a way

- He seemed so infactuated, watching every move you made, listening to your voice carefully so he could remember it accurately

- It was also... aggravating

- Hunter had previously tried to get Crosshair a romantic partner, only to be met with nothing (or at most, a quick fling)

- But of course, the one time he actually likes someone it's someone he likes too

- How unfortunate. For him.

- In the time they had been making small talk with one another, it seemed you had just finished your shift

- Before they could walk to you, a rivalling gang had managed to get there first, chatting you up with little to no effect

- Your lack of interest to the goons was met with angry faces, threatening faces

- Hunter and Crosshair shared a look, knowing what this would escalate to

- 'Listen, I don't think you guys want this. Just leave them alone-'

- 'They. aren't. interested.'

- At first they turned around with smug faces, but they quickly melted into slight fear once they noticed it was the mafia boss and his deadly brother

- If only it was that easy...

- The confrontation ended in the two taking the group outside through the back, with you watching through the window

- 'You really want to do this?'

- Hunter would ask, knowing who would win with absolute certainty

- Sadly (for them) the goons would just laugh in response and try their best to punch and kick their way to victory

- They lasted 2 minutes

- By this time you had made the choice to go home (it was super late) through the back and weren't at the window anymore

- When the brothers were finished with the gang, they were standing, facing each other a few meters apart

- 'So.'

- 'So...'

- Neither of them really wanted to admit that they were infactuated with you, but they knew

- 'May the best man-'

- '-win.'

- Crosshair was quick to push past him and enter the bar again, giving Hunter a light nudge as he walked past

- He didn't hate him or anything, but he wasn't gonna lose this

- He wasn't gonna lose you

- Obviously, Hunter wasn't going to give up easily, not at all

- He followed quickly after, hoping to somehow find you first

- May the best man win!

[slow-wth-anxiety]

GN reader x cult! genshin AU

TW! Violence against reader, typical SAGAU warnings, Cult! Genshin, Childe being child, yandere ish? Behavior. If I missed anything let me know!! :)

This is my first work, so it's probably OOC and bad 💀 was inspired by all of the LOVELY AMAZING FANTASTIC writers of the SAGAU community y'all are so amazing! Attempted beta read I got lazy.

❤️

'Dragonspine was supposed to be the harshest place in all of Mondstat' you think distantly as you lay in the frozen snow, golden blood trickling out of the many cuts, scratches and wounds on your tired body.

'but I was wrong' echoed in your head as you slowly tilt your head back to lock eyes with Tartaglia, the 11th of the Fatui harbingers, who stood over your beaten body, scowl firmly locked on his face and heated rage in his eyes as he stares down at you.

" Ah, have you finally stopped running like a coward?" Childe spits at you, fists clenched so hard at his sides he risked drawing blood "You dirty disgrace, how dare you impersonate our god?!" Kicking your body further into the snow, he crouches and smiles, not a nice smile, like the ones you used to see on the screen when you took him out on your journey around Teyvat. But a nasty one, one that stretches his mouth too tightly, his teeth glinting menacingly in the light.

" I don't know what you're talking about Childe please?!" You cry out as his snow covered boot dropped onto bruised, aching ribs, wheezing breaths blubbering from your cold, chapped lips as you try in vain to plead with the Harbinger.

"You don't know...?" Childe laughs mockingly. " You don't know?!" He growls as he continues to out more and more pressure upon your ribs. " With all these lies coming from your ugly little throat, maybe I should just puncture your lungs so you won't have the breath to tell anymore!" He laughes manically.

He crouches down, intentionally putting his full weight on the person beneath his boot.

" no no no, maybe I should tear your throat out hm? Or maybe that disgusting tongue?" He lists as he reaches down to grip your chin, gripping it so harshly the bone creaks beneath his strong hand.

So lost was he in his rage induced madness that the Fatui did not notice the golden blood surrounding the imposter as they weakly struggle to free their chin from his grip.

' disgusting fucking imposter, having the nerve to impersonate our god then pretend to be innocent?!' he seethes to himself, feeling the bone in his hand bend beneath his force.

" I don't want to hear your horrible voice any longer, you have been alive for far too long, those archons couldn't even kill you" Childe scoffs as he drops their body back on to the ground.

" And Zhongli calls himself our divine ones most loyal acolyte, yet can't even shed the blood of the disgrace impersonating them?" He laughs, the blood lust, the want to kill the filthy imposter staining Teyvat clouding his mind as he grips the knife in his hands, he smirks.

" I'll enjoy spilling your blood, that's the only thing you're good for, becoming compost for the land of my creator" comes his sickening coo as he swings the knife towards the imposter.

' I just wanted to be happy here' you think wildly as you watch the knife fly towards your chest.

' I just wanted to be happy here'

' I just wanted tO bE hApPy HeRE'

The thought echos and echos through your mind ' I didn't do anything! ' screeching in your mind, your body finally too tired to respond after being hunted down through the entirety of Teyvat.

" I just wanted to be happy Ajax" you rasp, blinking your eyes closed, finally giving up, to finally give what seemed to be everyone's wish, for you to die.

Childe blinked, taken back by the use of a name no one should know, let alone the fake god. ' how do they now my name?!' he thinks as his knife pierces the imposters chest with a dull, wet thud.

Golden ichor splashed across Childe's face, you do not even having the energy to let out a gasp of pain as the knife enters your chest.

Ice flashes though Childe's veins, his heart beating wildly in his chest as his eyes furiously scans the golden blood now painting both him, you and the snow around them.

" No, no, no, no, please no" he gasps as the horrible reality unfolds before him. The imposter, the same one the entirety of Teyvat hunted down without remorse, the one they kicked, beat and tortured into the frozen peaks of Dragonspine, was the Creator, HIS God.

He sinks to his knees, desperately trying to stop the golden blood from leaving his Gods body.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'll do anything, anything, please don't die"

He crys to the Creator, while knowing that with a wound as deep as the one he inflected upon his God, especially since they were now in a mortal vessel, there was little that could be done to save them.

Opening your eyes, staring at his desperate face, no longer having the capability to hear his tearful words, just seeing the clear liquid dripping down his face from his eyes.

"A-Ajax..." You whisper, " I'm dying, isn't this what you wanted...? What all of you wanted...?" A tired smile crawls across bloody lips, blood dripping from your mouth as your eyes grow duller and duller with each passing second.

' hm...? That's a strange color for blood' you think as you notice the golden ichor staining your chest. Smiling, you look away from Childe's furiously moving hands, looking up to the sky of Dragonspine as you feel him lift up your dying body.

' God, I was so wrong' was the last thought in your mind as your eyes slip shut. Not aware of Childe's pleas to stay awake, that he'll fix this, he'll never let any harm come to you ever again.

" I'll save you, I'll save you I swear it, on my devotion, my life, on everything that I am as your loyal worshiper, I'll fix this" he mutters desperately as he watches your eyes close.

" I promise" He swore as he ran through the snow, searching, searching furiously for the lone alchemist in Dragonspine that could possibly save your life from his, from THEIR mistake.

I honestly don't know what I'm doing 🤡 I have never written anything 😭✌️let me know what you thought If you want!

[katzkinder]

SakuMahi robot AU please

The au asks got buried 💀

Thankfully I still remember what this is about jfhgdk

For this kind of au... I'm not actually very familiar with this one! I don't read much mech/robot stuff, but here goes

Sakuya: A "faulty" android missing most of his memory data and searching for the last link he has to his past. The last thing he can recall before terminal shutdown was a young woman, grease and bloodstained (oil? Is that his oil? Is he dying? He shouldn't have a concept of that, but he does) promising to return with help for him. This single fragment of memory doesn't return to him until a few months post refurbishment by a young mechanic who... Isn't particularly skilled with the technical side of things when you ask him to explain what he's doing, but the results of letting him work speak for themselves. Can't remember his own function, whereabouts, or model series. Assumed to be recent by most of the cast due to his capabilities and uncanny resemblance to human function. Not particularly user friendly lol, either in his personality once that bit of coding kicks back on, or in his schematics. Clearly meant for complex function just from a cursory look at his internal workings, yet even that doesn't account for the advanced emotional function Sakuya showcases. Mahiru considers him a lucky, almost miracle find. Everyone else, Sakuya included, wonders what's wrong with him that such an advanced machine was seemingly left to decay among scrap and trash. It's easy to forget he's not human.

Mahiru: a mechanic who believes getting the job done is more important than looks, and spends a lot of him time repairing old and outdated machines (both for himself and for others who have formed an emotional bond with their robots. For these customers, even though he's not super particular about the appearance of his own machines, for others, he'll go the extra mile with making sure they look like the familiar and well loved friends people know them as). He's got a gentle and delicate touch and even finicky hardware seems to sing for him. He understands it's strange to feel affection for things that can't return it, but he doesn't care. Often ends up making a secondary portion of food for Sakuya despite his new companion not being able to eat. He seems to appreciate the thought at least? His naming sense is extremely rudimentary, which is how he landed on "Sakuya" for the junked out android he found and brought home. Something about the forlorn expression on the facial mold wouldn't let him leave it be, and after finding the cherry blossom pattern where a model number should have been, the name was chosen in an instant.

In the end, Sakuya isn't an android at all, but a modified combat cyborg with a human soul integrated into his circuitry, which accounts so the disparity between what he's supposed to be capable of, and what he actually showcases. A last ditch effort by a sister to save her brother, the woman he's been searching for with Mahiru's help has long been dead... And after that there's government conspiracies to be dealt with, of course, as they attempt to seize this new weapon and possible key to immortality to figure out what makes their own efforts of combining human and machine a failure, while Sakuya is an abject success who retains full cognitive function, while others attempting the same transplant all see their efforts deteriorate into something horrific and unrecognizable from the subject's former self.

Basically this is War Crimes: robot love edition lmao

[heizouslovr]

Strawberry cake ★

Childe x fem!reader → modern au . . .

First time making a oneshot, my friend requested for this so..😥🥰

Omg Childe being the turd he is falls inlove at first sight 🥺😇

Childe decided to check out a good place his friend recommended him to go to

For the aesthetic of his day he decides to go to a cafe to do so

And bro's body shuts down the moment he sees your face 💀

I have no idea abt types of coffees ok I just searched this shit up😭 also childe barely knowing anything abt types coffee is gonna be in this😈😈.

Childe, enters the cafe enjoying it's theme and the soothignness of the whole area. He decides to pick a spot that he finds comfortable and decides to take his order.

3rd person pov

Whilst the person at the counter wasn't there yet, he decided to look at the menu. He doesn't quite understand anything on the menu, knowing he doesn't drink coffee much and doesn't know what some of them are. So panic starts kicking in slowly, not knowing what to say. He curses at himself now that the person at the counter is there. But the moment he looks he sees a pretty lady waiting for his order patiently. Childe can't help the feeling of being all embarrassed and being a total idiot so he panics and tries to hide it. "Hi, what would you like!" said the waitress with a smile. "You don't look like you're around here, tell me are you new?" She adds, and Childe froze. "Oh shit, okay, okay, I can do this, YOU CAN DO THIS CHILDE." Childe thought to himself dramatically. "Yes I am actually eheh.." Childe says midly nervous. "I would like a Caffé mochaaaa?" Childe says unsurely, sighing to himself not even knowing what that is. Childe decides to take the courage for help on what to get. "Excuse me..." he says not knowing what to call her, overthinking that calling her by her name on her tag would seem rude for her. "Y/n, my name is y/n sir" said the waitress noticing his struggling. "Y/n, would you help me on what a Caffé mocha even is?" Childe says with shame and embarrassment. Y/n smiles and giggles at his behavior offering him help and explaining it to him. "Thank you so much I'm so sorry for uhh, this." Says Childe embarrassed. Childe noticed her giggling and can't help but feel flustered about it. "No problem sir I'm happy to help!" Replied y/n with a happy expression. "Say y/n, what good food do you recommend that this cafe has to offer" Says Childe slowly getting less nervous. "Hmm, I recommend the strawberry cake it's my favorite actually! but the good food that's best selling is the muffins, waffles,brownies, the strawberry and cheese cake we have." Says y/n, "I'll take the strawberry cake," Childe says with a smile. "Sure, take a seat and I'll take it to your table!" Y/n replied, " oh god I dont even like strawberries.. I hope this is worth it" Childe thought to himself. "What the hell did I put myself into.." Childe thinks again, trying to ignore the thought.

"Here you go sir!" Says y/n as she plops his order down on his table. "Thank you y/n!" trying to keep his smile. "You're welcome! Enjoy your food sir." Y/n says walking away. "I hope I do enjoy it, I really do y/n.." Childe thinks to himself like some child. Childe takes a bite of the cake and struggles to finish the slice. He then notices you on the counter taking other people's orders. He can't help but be mesmerized by looking at you, your smiles, your eyes, your face and even your voice. He decides to leave the cafe and go back home, but the thought of you never left his mind.

Childe decides to come back almost everyday and ordered your favorite cake everytime he went there, despite the long drive to get there. He's tried to smoothly compliment and flirt with you various times but not too noticable. You on the other hand doesn't seem to notice this behaviour and be blind to it, but you can't help but smile at the thought of his personality and laugh at his jokes. You've made small chit chat multiple times with other regulars and non regulars before and wonder why it's so different with him. After those talks with him those days you've realized you've developed a small crush for him.

One day, Childe decides to bring his friend Scaramouche to the cafe you work at to hang out. They enter the cafe and Scaramouche speaks up. "Dude, since when did you have a thing for cafes." Said Scaramouche plainly. "They're relaxing and coollll?? I guess..?" Childe replied unsure. Scaramouche just told Childe to get him a waffle and sits down whilst Childe goes in line at your cashier. "Back again I see," You say genuinely happy to see Childe. "Of course I would be back," Childe says smiling at you. Childe tells you his order and has a short chat with you because there was other people in line.

Your pov

While you put down their order, Scaramouche speaks up "Strawberry cake?? I thought you-" Scaramouche gets cut off by Childe putting a hand on his mouth for him not to continue what he was about to say. You we're curious on what was that about but decide to leave them with a wave.

3rd person pov

"GROSS!" Childe replied, removing his hand on Scaramouche's mouth after he licked his hand for him to let go. "Don't put your hand on my mouth ever again. Your hand is so fucking contaminated you gross fuck." Scaramouche says, "What the hell was that even about?? I thought you fucking hated this shit," He adds. "People change you know!" Childe says dramatically. "Okay dipshit" Scaramouche replies. While they spend their time in the cafe Childe decides to take a bite of the strawberry cake while trying to hide his sick expression. "Dude I thought you LOVEDDDD strawberry cake?? What's with that ugly face you have on??" Scaramouche says, "You know you don't have to eat it if you don't want to right." Scaramouche says, looking at Childe.

"I'm just not feeling well today that's all!" Trying to deny the fact he doesn't want to eat it. Scaramouche decides to tease him about it and Childe tries to deny Scaramouche's accusations that he hates it. "I'm gonna go to the restroom, I'll be back" Scaramouche added. Whilst scaramouche was in the restroom Childe's stomach felt off. "Oh God what is this feeling.." Childe mumbles to himself. "He decides to ignore it but it gets worse minute by minute. He raises his hand for a waitress and y/n approach him. "Hey y/n can you give me some water?" Childe says trying to hide his current state. "Sure!"

She comes back with the water with a napkin on it. She can't help but notice the expression and the off behavior of Childe, so she asks him what's wrong. "I just have a stomach ache that's all.." Childe feeling embarrassed to be like this infront of you. You decided to help him out cause there's no one currently taking their orders and barely any costumers around. You grabbed a small towel you had and decided to turn it into a hot towel for Childe to use on his stomach. You decide to go back to your spot and leave Childe. Scaramouche comes back seeing Childe's state. "Dude what happened to you??" Scaramouche says unamused. "This damn strawberry cake is what happened," Childe says in a whisper wanting to go home. "Lets go now please??" Childe says to Scaramouche while he clenches his stomach. "Fine nimwit, let's go." He replied to Childe.

Your pov

Childe forgot to hand you your towel and took it home with him. You take a look at Childe's spot seeing him gone. You can't help but feel upset that you didn't get to say goodbye, and the fact he didn't see your phone number on the napkin. "It was a stupid idea anyway.." You thought to yourself cringing at yourself. Few days has passed and he hasn't come back to the cafe and wonder where he is and what happened to him. Childe decided to stop going for awhile due to embarassment from what happened last time.

3rd pov

"Why'd I have to have a stomach ache at that moment.. ughhhhh." He says to himself at home. It's currently night and couldn't sleep. He takes a look at your towel that he washed and dried, just incase he finally has the courage to show up again. He decided to go down to the apartment building and go to a nearby convenient store. Whilst he walks to a convenient store nearby. He notices a familiar face on a bus stop and realizes it's you.

Your pov

"y/n?" He calls out to you. "Oh it's you!" You say surprised. "Childe, call me Childe." He says awkwardly smiling at you. "You don't have to call me sir anymore," Childe says happy and relieved to see you. "So when are you coming back?" You say giggling, hoping he doesn't think you're weird or something. "Miss me?" Childe laughs. "I'm happy to see you again, Childe." You say looking into his eyes. Realizing the eye contact you both had, you decide to look away trying to hide your red face. "Oh yeah your towel.." Childe mentions. "Keep it, it's okay." You reply, "Take it as a remembrance from me." You say jokingly, cringing at what you just said. "Of... Course" Childe replies, "By the way what are you doing here? This is far from where you work?" Childe asks. "I had to visit a friend of mine, she needed help moving in her new apartment." You replied. You took the leap of faith and spoke up. "Hey, Childe.. Do you wanna maybe, exchange numbers..?" You say trying not to show your nervousness. "I would love to, y/n." Childe replies with a wink whilst having a calm and nice expression. You both exchange numbers and decide to say your goodbyes. "See you next time Childe." You say having eye contact with him. "Trust me you will," He Says with a loving expression.

You both never stopped talking after that.

[toiletwipes]

and i'd give up forever to touch you

the masterlist

COMPLETED!

Summary: Simpbur has done everything he can to get closer to his comfort streamer, from donating large sums of money, to applying and getting accepted to the same college, to even getting a different job just to afford her. And yet, he's been unable to get to touch her, to talk to her.

And then you come in. It's simple, practice and record a cover for your listening experience only, and he can get close to the girl of his dreams. Except things get complicated.

Because for the first time in his life, someone likes him for himself. And it's not the girl he's been chasing for years.

main masterlist

WARNING: this story is rated 18+, minors dni

Fic Playlist <3 (made and curated by michelle/music anon, love them so so much for doing this <333)

Rosie's Playlist <3 (ALSO BY MICHELLE/MUSIC ANON AAAAAAAA)

CHAPTERS

01. the mortifying ordeal of being known (aug. 15, 2021) ~2k words. ao3 link.

02. will's social ineptitude (aug. 16, 2021) ~1.6k words. ao3 link.

03. eyes on fire (aug. 17, 2021) ~2k words. ao3 link.

04. just the two of us (aug. 19, 2021) ~2.4k words. ao3 link.

05. don't vandalize pianos propaganda (aug. 21, 2021) ~2.4k. ao3 link.

06. normalcy (aug. 23, 2021) ~2.2k words. ao3 link.

07. opening up, inside and out (aug. 26, 2021) ~2.1k words. ao3 link.

08. saturday, wait (aug. 31, 2021) ~1.7k words. ao3 link.

09. turning page (sep. 5, 2021) ~2k words. ao3 link.

10. don't wanna talk (sep. 12, 2021) ~2k words. ao3 link.

11. have i found you? (sep. 23, 2021) ~2k words. ao3 link.

12. unspoken, unbroken (oct. 7, 2021) ~1.7k words. ao3 link.

13. you're so golden (oct. 21, 2021) ~2.3k words. ao3 link.

14. tommy eat world (nov. 13, 2021) ~2.5k words. ao3 link.

15. the bill comes due (dec. 5, 2021) ~2.1k words. ao3 link.

16. a haze, a brief moment of clarity (dec. 16, 2021) ~3k words. ao3 link.

17. ah yes, what could go wrong? (dec. 16, 2021) ~3k words. ao3 link.

18. a wreck you cannot look away from (jan. 5, 2022) ~3.2k words. ao3 link.

19. choking on the toxins (jan. 9, 2022) ~3.3k words. ao3 link.

20. catching up (feb. 2, 2022) ~3.8k words. ao3 link.

21. neon lives (feb. 17, 2022) ~3.2k words. ao3 link.

22. the party's wake (feb. 21, 2022) ~3.2k words. ao3 link.

23. from stage left, enters rosie (mar. 7, 2022) ~3.9k words. ao3 link.

24. you're fucked (may 14th, 2022) ~3.2k words. ao3 link.

25. a little self-indulgence (jul. 21, 2022) ~3k words. ao3 link.

26. tell me we both matter, don't we? (aug. 26, 2022) ~3.4k words. ao3 link.

27. the cruel beast / i am seen (sep. 2, 2022) ~5k words. ao3 link.

28. cirice (sep. 3, 2022) ~5.5k words. ao3 link.

29. epilogue / the start of something new (sep. 6, 2020) ~3k words. ao3 link.

total word count (this is more for me than it is for y'all skdhdhd): ~82.9k words.

With that being said, this will be updated as I go <;33

extra chapters!! strays from the canon timeline!! because I have ideas that don't fit it but still want to share with y'all!!

01. you'd bleed just to know you're alive (sep. 19, 2021) ~800 words.

02. all i can breathe is your life (sep. 30, 2021) ~3.4k words.

03. subdued (apr. 1, 2022) words.

warnings: simpbur being a "bit of a stalker", mhmhm angst tho, then! a tiny amount of comfort, there will be smut eventually I promise, slow burn, college au, band au, x reader type beat, mmm i tag it as simpbur x y/n but I don't always like using y/n so mostly I use the word you or allude to using your name, iris by the goo goo dolls cover, simpbur is tall awkward and social inept to deal with a fan, right person wrong time 💀, i have to say it again: angst out the wazoo, oh yeah there's going to be smut so minors you're not allowed to read this fic even if there's far and few adult scenes, this is a story written about and for adults only.

i tag as i go

tag list: @ruminationnn @ghostburlovebot @waterproofgravy @roygbivvie @boiled-onionrings @mayempress @comonlokbut2 @tiredofsatansbullshit @serendipityryn @facelessmatchstick @dogsandrocketsocks @unhelpfulghosty @struggling-with-time @spilltheearlgrey @dreamwvrld @despicablenotions @jubileelineee @the-icarus-thatneverflew @jessica89diangelo @fischlvonluftschloss @ninkieminjaj @savannahjade1208 @ghostwriteser

The tag list is currently closed!!

(if you do not have an age in your bio/if you're a minor, i will not put you on the tag list)

The Review Column

"... is good soup." - @wolfie-doggo

"mother kay says yes." - @dreamwvrld

[apompkwrites]

HI this was the anon who originally sent stuff about electric (now aster unless it's a separate oc), and rosehearts!(name) overblotting

HAHA it's nice to see the thoughts of others in this blog, combining random ideas to make another au. and speaking of aus,, I've been seeing a LOT of vice dorm leader siblings recently and 👀

hunt!(name) who has to deal with the numerous complaints of hearing their sibling stalk watch others. it's a never ending thing, and at this point they just get used to it.

imagine just like rook, they also were assigned to another dorm and then later on transferred to pomefiore 💀

IF it was ever savanaclaw, leona would not want ANYTHING to do with you. your brother is enough, he doesn't need another one examining him like a lab specimen.

hunt!(name) is protected by rook on a daily basis. hunt!(name) is fully aware that rook is somewhere near them, watching them and rook is aware that his sibling knows that he's here, watching them.

doesn't mean hunt!(name) can't protect themselves though. their sibling is almost like a hunter it's literally in their last name. whenever the unlucky one manages to piss them off, let's just say that their unfortunate victims are greeted with an arrow next to their head, a folder pinned on the wall full of their misdoings. rumors spread, but no one ever seems to catch hunt!(name) in the act as they always seem so polite and well, fancy.

hunt!(name) uses the skills rook taught them for protecting themselves and their friends, and on the rare occasion, stalk watch people with their brother, sibling bonding <333

in a universe where schoenheit!(name) and hunt!(name) both exist,, they're also both a duo like their siblings !!

hunt!(name) is schoenheit!(name)'s biggest fan. #1 fan, has all their merch, and is somehow attended every event with schoenheit!(name) in it.

if anyone messes with the other, you mess with both.

ALSO ALSO I haven't seen anyone talk about this yet,, so.. what IF the siblings were sent to...

RSA instead?

the siblings are often compared to their older sibling in NRC, both negatively and positively. they are probably seen as the "better" sibling rather than their sibling in NRC, due to the good reputation of the school.

thoughts?

:O hello hello electric anon!!

i don't really know how aster will play into black sheep canonically but we'll see ;))

so many cool ideas for the vice-dorm leader siblings :OO you guys are so smart :]]

another cool idea for hunt!(name)!! maybe they feel as though rook only views them as a sort of exhibit rather than a sibling? that is far from the case but they sorta just get that vibe from him.

also it'd be cute for hunt!(name) and schoenheit!(name) to get along! maybe hunt is the first person to like schoenheit!(name)'s acting for their acting and not their name :)

and if any of the siblings got sent to rsa instead... well, i suppose they would have a better reputation, wouldn't they? people would like them for them and hate their siblings. but... wouldn't that influence them as well? would they even have an opportunity to reconcile with them? questions, questions.

all i can say is... some endings may have been different if they went to rsa instead :]

[sheppycrazyworld]

This was inspired by a sweater, no jocking.

I just saw a blue sweater with a Mick with three stars in his ears. xd

This is the best I could do 💀

This au is like a star catcher au, is like a game that toons play. The name of this Mickey is "Star-ted" because that's the way that people names the ones that start this activity recently. He was too busy at the films that he couldn't start this back in time, but now he has time to play! The red stars that he has in his ears and clothes were shooting stars! There are differents types of stars, the red ones are common, but he's happy that he could catch them! It's some difficult! Every toon that play this game has an object to put in the stars, and that object tell the meaning of the color too if you don't know what it means. I didn't name that object yet. This is just a game, just for fun, nothing special, the stars are shiny and pretty.

"There's was an old legend that says, if you catch 100 cyan stars, you will have wish! But if you have the bad luck of catch 100 green stars, you will be cursed, by melting everything and everyone that you touch!"

Cyan stars are the most difficult to catch! The people that managed to catch cyan stars just have 5 or less! This mouse is determinated to catch 100 cyan stars! But, he will go to an adventure, he will go to an unknown place, in that place is easy to find green stars, wich are really dangerous, green stars are not really stars, their made by something called "thiner", they're were made by a human who wanted to destroy the toons, but that plan failed, and the green stars were never seen again, their disappeared by an unknown reason. The name of the place that Mick go was named "Wasteland". And all just because he mess up in a place and created a giant "star" made of paint and thiner, making a new and dangerous star that ruined the old Wasteland, and the king of that place isn't happy of that...

Sorry if it's a bad story.

[sohcah-toa]

omg pls I'm dying at the uber driver hcs like HELLO?? IT'S FULL ON SLANDER BUT ITS SO FUNNY LMAOOAO 😂😂💀💀💗

since requests are open could you do the same but with the boyz as restaurant waiters? like imagine them goofing around with the customer while the customer literally just like: 👁️👄👁️

* coughs childe/kaeya *

and diluc/xiao just being dead asf 💀💀

xiao: iNcOmpReHenSAbLe

if you can't write it it's okay!! thank you for all the posts you make hehe 💖💞✨

Genshin Men as Waiters | toa

thank you so much for reading and for the support!! i'm so glad you like it! ♡

ft. Childe, Kaeya, Diluc, Zhongli, Xiao and Thoma

cw: SFW, kinda crack, headcanons, modern au, readers as customers, POSSIBLE SPOILERS (only on Zhongli's)

extra context: lumine and paimon are their boss and they only work there so they could return a favor; they all work together.

Diluc

- so done with his job, it's like he's not even trying anymore, paimon just kept pestering him to do his job well

- purposely changes the customer's alcohol beverages to juice

"Waiter, this is grape juice, not my wine, so if you could just—"

"Grape juice is good. Good for you, I'm jealous"

"Uh— wait don't leave yet! 😧"

- gets annoyed by Kaeya everytime he sees him flirting with a customer so he ends up breaking plates accidentally

"Isn't that guy embarrassing?"

"Isn't he your co-worker?"

"Just hearing that makes me sick, here's your order. Eat and leave, don't ever come back"

"😢 You broke my plate, the food is all over the floor sir"

- always in a hurry when doing his job so he could go home immediately

- has a resting bitch face. customers always get intimidated and orders as fast as they can to not make Diluc mad

— ๑

Zhongli

- actually glad to work there but he's not good as a waiter, keeps on messing up orders even though he's trying his best

- tells you stories about every little thing

"Do you have anything spicy?"

"Yes, we do. Actually, back in the day I had a friend, the stove god, he sacrificed everything for the land of Liyue. He was divided into thousands to be able to help its people. In the end he went into deep slumber, there was this nice girl, her name was Xiangling, who gave food to what once was a stove god. Now, that creature follows her everywhere, named Guoba. Xiangling once cooked Jueyun Chili Chicken and I do believe we have that here"

"...Right, I'll just— take that I guess 😨"

- always call thoma (head waiter) whenever he needs help; which is everytime

"Do you have a website?"

"Uh- yes?"

"Okay, what is it?"

"Uh- Thoma! What is a website? You know we don't have a website back in the day because we all did things —" (proceeds to tell a story about it)

- most likely to fall asleep on the job because he got so tired just trying to understand things

- we all know he steal tips from Childe because "childe's already rich" (actually his words)

— ๑

Childe

- would purposely serve the food late if he doesn't like the customer

- mess up orders on purpose

"Sorry this isn't my order"

"And this isn't my real job, so we're even"

- would try to flirt but will fail horribly

"I'm Childe, your waiter, been waiting all my life for someone like you"

"🤨"

"Anyway, what's your order? Love? I got you"

"😰"

"Right, I'll just—"

Lumine & Paimon: 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

- most likely to slap a karen, throw money at them after then leave

- always believe in Kaeya's pranks and is somehow always excited about it

Kaeya: "Fire!! There's fire!"

"Everybody!! out out out! Hurry hurry!! Holy shit holy shit — I feel the thrill! Let's go! Whoo! I wonder who'll die today"

Kaeya: "Dude 😮"

Lumine & Paimon: "You drove all the customers out!!! 👺"

— ๑

Thoma

- actually the best waiter there is but is real sloppy with everything; water spilling on his mouth while he's drinking

- head waiter; would teach others how to do their jobs properly

- gets super stressed out while handling the other waiters, he cries in the bathroom alone when he have free time

- begs everybody to their jobs properly or else the restaurant will be closed down

"Zhongli, you can google things if you don't know how to deal with it, I'm very busy too"

Zhongli: "What is a google? 🤔"

"Diluc, please be nice to the customers. Also, please stop breaking our plates"

Diluc: "Sorry, I want to puke everytime I see Kaeya flirting with a customer so I just accidentally break them 😖"

"Another issue! Kaeya for the love of Barbatos, Morax, Baal and all the other gods, don't harass the customers, don't eat their food, that's just nasty"

Kaeya: "I don't have a god 🤠"

"Childe please don't mix the orders up, why do you even do that?"

Childe: "Um— because it's fun and thrilling? Duh 🤨"

"And Xiao, oh my god Xiao please.. Just please try to be at least a little bit nicer. We had a customer who went home crying because you told her that her armpit stinks and you can smell it from a mile away"

Xiao: "Not lying, we can't have people like that in this establishment"

"Xiao, you shouted it to everybody else and she was embarrassed in front of everyone 🤦‍♂️"

Xiao: "I panicked 🤷‍♂️"

- so stressed out that he's balding (he just covers it with his horns headband lmaoo)

— ๑

Kaeya

- takes his own precious time, doesn't ask for orders if he doesn't want to

"Waiter! I've been calling you for the past 5 minutes. Could you please take our order?"

"Later 😑"

- literally flirts with you non-stop until he gets what he wants

"Hi. I would like the hashbrowns please"

"And I would like your number"

"Um.. 🤨"

"What's your name baby girl?"

"Sir, this is highly inappropriate"

- would eat little bits of food on your order (like on fries or nuggets); sometimes he would take a bite on your pasta before serving and would drink on your straw

- will be the most likely to prank the whole restaurant by yelling 'fire fire fire!'

— ๑

Xiao

- hates the job so much but can't quit cuz lumine and paimon

- always sigh loudly whenever asking what you want to order

- complains about his job to you

"Hi, yes, I would like to order Mora meat"

"Don't you want to order Almond Tofu instead? It's the best cuisine in here"

"Um no-- Just the--"

"Alright I'll just put Almond Tofu in here, anything else? Do you want pain with a side dish of pain and pain water?"

"Um 😥"

"Alright. I'll just add that here too"

Lumine & Paimon: "Xiao! Stop scaring the customer! 👹"

- literally can't get the job done because he can't talk to customers normally; talks like he's an ant sometimes so the customers would ask for another waiter instead

- is the meanest out of all the waiters

"What's your best-seller?"

"How should I know? I'm just the waiter"

"That's the reason why. You're the waiter you should know"

"I'm not the chef, just order whatever it'll probably be good idk 🤷‍♂️"

— ๑

[theyellowhue]

I was tagged by @ieroween1031, much thanks ✨

❥ name: N (sorry but im not comfy putting my name out there. my name is pretty unique)

❥ sign: Sagittarius

❥ height: 5'0" I am so short 😭😭😭

❥ time: 9:56 p.m.

❥ birthday: November 30th

❥ fav band/artist: Currently, SEVENTEEN hold my heart. I care so much for the thirteen silly men

❥ last movie: Black Adam. Someone put it on during a family and friends Christmas celebration. Its a really good movie.

❥ last show: Big Dragon. I have a SINGLE episode left and I am dreading it. Like I know that Mangkorn is gonna comeback for Yai because that's the only reality that we can accept but still, all the hurt before the reunion is lowkey giving me anxiety.

❥ when I created this blog: I think I started this on 2018? I was not on tumblr when tumblr dominating fandom culture and for someone who was really into Doctor Who and Sherlock, its surprising that I was not tempted to start one.

❥ what I post: I made a tumblr account because I wanted to shout about Love in the Air but my twitter persona is a KimChay enjoyer and it just left wrong for a while but now, I feel comfortable enough to just post anything I find interesting

❥ other blogs?: I just made a new one!!! @huenotes, its my writing blog, probably mostly twt aus for now, its a working progress. I really don't know how tumblr works yet so I just recently found out that I can make a multiple blogs in one account. amazing ✨.

❥ do I get asks?: very few. I think I've gotten like 5 asks since I started this blog? I would love to entertain more people to give me asks tho 😌

❥ followers: 311 and im pretty sure that like 5% of them are porn bots 💀

❥ average hours of sleep: I have severely fucked my sleeping schedule. college is winning. the entirety of my fall quarter, i have gotten 4 hours of sleep. I run on caffeine pills (i hate the taste of coffee) and sprite. I am desperately trying to have a normal sleeping schedule. Tell me your secrets 😭

❥ instruments: I can play the guitar. I'm bad at reading music notes tho

❥ what I'm wearing: pink sleep dress with red flowers

❥ dream trip: wanna visit the Netherlands, Singapore, Korea, Japan, and Thailand

❥ fav songs right now: Loads!!! but it really just depends on my mood.

I can't run away, SEVENTEEN

To you, SEVENTEEN

Can't Take My Eyes off You, Frankie Valli and the 4 Seasons

Mundo, IV of Spades

when the party's over, Billie Eilish

Butterflies, Abe Parker

I wanna get to know you, lovely people ✨

@fluidsoul31, @lunathehungry, @mypurpleuniverse, @otbnaga

[ducky-died-inside]

Hear me out, the Triplet AU but with reader as a Gen Z. In short, a little SHIT running around Encanto causing CHAOS everywhere they go. They’re probably worse that Carlos and Camilo💀

So it’s just a sassy 15 year old reader and them just kinda dissing tf out of everyone cause why not.

They can be pretty dumb sometimes, like them saying a word and tell that it’s something (country name) people use to tell the weather or something, when in reality it’s pretty different.

───────────────

Another example:

Imagine them seeing some dude with long beautiful hair.

“Hey missy, d’ya see some emo version of Camilo running around but with a maroon ruana?”

“Huh?! Who are you calling a girl?!?”

“Woah holy shit!! Judging by your voice, you’re either actually a dude or some really buff lady like prima Luisa.”

───────────────

THEY WOULD DEFINITELY CHEER WHEN A FIGHT HAPPENS IN ENCANTO

“WHAT TF ARE YOU DOING?? PUNCH HIM!!”

“NAH BRO LOSIN—”

“Y/N.”

“Sorry Abuela.”

───────────────

You can do scenarios if you want! It’s my first time requesting something in Tumblr, I just downloaded 4 days ago and I really love your writing! I was too shy to request but I did anyways.

If you are going to do this request, please don’t rush and take your time making this! Thank you!!

Chaotic: Camilo x Fem reader (platonic), Carlos x Fem reader (platonic)

Summary: Headcannons and scenarios for these three, but you are chaotic instead of calm....

Genre: I honestly don't know

Notes: yesssss! Thank you so much, anon! I love writing for this au, and it makes me so happy that others like it too!You can shapeshift into animals and Camilo and Carlos can do people.Each break is a new scenario. M/E/N means male enemy name.

Warnings: SASS, fight scene, a bit of accidental misgendering

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pepa smiled down at her three newborn triplets, a rainbow over her head. She looked up to her Mama, happy tears in her eyes.

"I guess triplets run in the family, right Mami?"

"Yes, Pepi. I'm sure they will be such good children, especially the little girl. Have you and Félix thought of names yet?"

Pepa nodded and looked back down at you three.

"Yes. We were thinking, Y/N for the girl, Carlos for the one that Bruno said would be a bit more mischievous, and Camilo for the last one."

"That sounds wonderful, Pepi!"

They continued talking and didn't notice Bruno in the corner. He smirked at his sister. He knew just how chaotic you were going to be, but decided not to mention it to Pepa. She needed a few surprises in her life anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are feral. Out of the three of you, you would cause the most trouble and chaos for the citizens of Encanto. You played pranks on people and got your brothers involved. You never really got into fights, but you did help instigate them. Needless to say, you were a menace. Even though you were a menace, you would still do your chores and help out. Carlos may be a bit evil, and Camilo may be good, but you were a perfect mix of them both. Complete and utter chaos. Just how you liked it.

When you got your gift, that made everything a bit worse. With the gift to change into different animals, you came up with better pranks and just wrecked havoc on Encanto. Your brothers helped with your pranks, because they couldn't say no to you if they tried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walked down the street and found Camilo doing his chores. He was sitting on a bench, entertaining a bunch of kids with a story, turning into different characters as he talked. You turned into a butterfly and landed on his shoulder. He didn't notice you for a while, so you got off and turned back into yourself.

You stood behind him and raised a finger to your lips, motioning for them to not say anything. The kids saw and giggled. Camilo thought they were laughing at him, so he kept going on with his story. You came up behind him and roared as you turned your head into the head of a lion. He jumped up and off the bench, turning into characters from his story out of shock while you turned back and fell on the ground, rolling with laughter.

He rolled his eyes at you, once he saw it was just you. He walked over to you and was going to help you up, but you were already on your feet.

"You just about gave me a heart attack, Y/N! I swear, one day, you will be the frigging death of me."

You just nodded.

"I know, but you love me anyway. It's not like you can do much else. You're stuck with me forever and ever."

"I know. So what do you want?"

You gave him a mischievous grin. He groaned and knew what was coming.

"So, I may or may not need some help for a prank that I'm pulling with Carlos."

"Don’t. You know I can't say no to you!"

"Exactly! That's the point! Nice to see you're finally catching on, hermano."

He just rolled his eyes and you made a big, over the top, gasp.

"THE AUDACITY! I can't believe my brother would dare roll his eyes at me!"

He chuckled and looked back at you, a glint in his eyes.

"So, what is this prank, dear hermana of mine?"

"Oh, this will be fantastic. I see Carlos and I have finally corrupted Mami's sweet golden child."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You finished up buying a churro when you heard Carlos yelling at someone. A crowd was forming around them and you joined in. You made your way to the front, behind Carlos.

"Say it one more time, idiota."

You whispered to the person next to you.

"What happened with my brother?"

They whispered back.

"M/E/N said that you weren't a good addition to the Familia Madrigal, and that you never did anything useful."

"Huh."

You looked back at Carlos. He threw a punch at M/E/N.

"YEAH, CARLOS! HIT HIM HARDER!"

Carlos looked back, surprised to see you. He grinned and turned back to M/E/N.

"You heard her."

He swung his arm and hit M/E/N right in the jaw.

A loud, angry voice cut through the air.

"CARLOS AND Y/N! GET OVER HERE NOW!"

"Dolores must've ratted us out."

"Traitor"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walked through town, looking for Carlos and Camilo. They put something in your hot chocolate that morning, so you needed to get back at them. You saw a tall person with long hair and went to go see if they saw your brothers.

"Excuse me, Senorita, but have you seen a boy in a yellow ruana come by? He should be accompanied by a boy that looks more emo and wears maroon."

The figure turned to face you. Their voice was deep and it startled you.

"Who you calling Senorita?!"

"Whoa! Holy frigg! Judging from your voice, your either actually a guy, or just really buff like mi prima, Luisa!"

"I suggest you go with the first, thank you."

"I agree! Bye!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let me know if you want any more scenarios!

Taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu , @hiroyuki27 , @alexaizawa , @camilolovesroxiie , @katethecraziest , @merymikey , @kailoveswom3n

Ask to be added to romantic or platonic taglist! Please Specify so I can keep them separate!

[slow-wth-anxiety]

I've noticed that in most imposter!Au Reader is beaten and Weak. But how would (either diluc, zhongli or Kaeya) react to S/o Being 10x stronger than then, so they can't even Get a Hit in on the "Imposter." It doesn't matter if they Use all they're strength, Tag-Team, Sneak up on reader. Reader just can't be beat. Even better if Reader doesn't have a vision, and this Power is completely natural and the boy(s) notice this.

Thank you for sending this in! I haven't got that good of a feeling for these characters yet, but I'll try my best! Also I went a tad over board so I'm only doing Diluc rn 💀 I also think I went a little too far away from the prompt you sent so I'm sorry 😭 actually I got way too carried away 💀 let me know if it's not what you were thinking! :)

GN! Reader, Violence against reader, Diluc being mean ish? Angst maybe, Cult! Genshin. Typical SAGAU imposter! Violence

How would they react to Imposter! Darling being stronger than them?

❤️

Diluc

As the so called ' Dark Night hero of Mondstat' He would take the news of an imposter of his God, not very well.

His God helped him though the roughest times of his life, when his father passed, the falling out with Kaeya, his feelings of guilt that has burdened his shoulders all these years.

So the instant he hears someone impersonating you, going around the nations and making a mocking of your name? Diluc is furious, the vision at his side heating in response to his anger.

He tasks the workers to manage Dawn Winery in his absence, and leaves without another word. He tracks the imposter across Mondstat, growing more and more frustrated by the day as he always seems to just barely miss you before you move on to the next place.

Something always seems to get in his way, the wind nipping at his face, a torrent of rain pounding upon his back as he moves through the day. A band of Anemo slimes appearing from the hills to attack him relentlessly. Groups of Hillichurls blocking his way as soon as he starts to get to close to you.

' One would think that Teyvat would help the person getting rid of the imposter' The thought crosses Dilucs mind as he finished off the final Mitachurl in the group that attacked him.

"Strange how persistent these groups are at blocking my way" He mutters as he passes through the corpses. Disgust flashes across his face as he looks upon a weakly moving hillchurl.

" No matter, they'll die just like that filthy disgrace will, given time" Slamming his claymore into the finally still hilichurl, he looks to the direction the hilichurl band came from, and spots a flicker of campfire, and the noise of a single person humming to themselves between the trees.

Chuckling to himself as he approached the campsite, he spots you sitting by yourself, your back turned to him, humming a gentle tune he couldn't place.

Swinging his sword from his back, Diluc steps into the light from the fire, scowl and eyes locked on to your back. He approaches you silently, preparing himself to end your existence.

' They don't deserve a channe to beg, to grovel for the sins they've committed, they will die here' Diluc snarls in his mind, recalling all the times when the Knights of Favonious had let you escape.

"The Knights of Favonious may not have ended your pathtic existence, but I will!" Yelling as his sword descends upon the imposters back, putting every ounce of fury he holds in his body for the imposter, he watches with satisfaction as his weapon swings like an executioners blade towards you.

Shocked gasps echo through the campsite, one from your surprise and fear from being attacked and Dilucs gasp of disbelief, as he watches his claymore rocket away from you by an unseen force.

Swiftly standing, you back away from him holding your hands out in front of you as a gesture of peace " Diluc? What are you doing?!" Alarm coats your tone as Diluc grabs for his claymore again, steadily advancing on you.

" Don't you dare say my name!" Diluc roars as he once again swings his weapon to hurt you, still hitting the unseen barrier just as he did before

' There is no vision anywhere on their body, what is stopping me from killing them?!' He hisses in his mind as he narrows his eyes towards you, analyzing how to get through that barrier.

" I would have preferred to not stain my hands with your filth but if that is the only way, then so be it" A grimace crosses his face as reaches his hands towards your neck, nerves rolling in his stomach the closer he gets.

You stand in place, watching Diluc speed closer and closer to you until he stops before you. You gaze upon him, calmly watching how he moves, eyes flashing as they stare him down.

A shiver jolts down Dilucs spine, pain sparking between his eyes, nausea thick in his throat as he meets your eyes before he shakes it away and glares back at you. He lunges for you, but as soon as he gets too close, Diluc feels the ground beneath his feet begin to shake, the trees groan and shake, whispering words that he couldn't make out, a tongue far older then himself.

Shadows grow from the light of the fire, far stronger and darker then they should have been, seemingly reaching out to you, grasping at your hands, clothes, any part of you the shadows could reach.

You will not harm them boy

The shadows whispered to Diluc, clouding his vision until all he could see was the dark.

How dare you try to harm our God?

The ground shook beneath his feet, the trees mocking Diluc as he began to lose his balance, falling to his knees as he watched the so called imposter simply stare at the events occuring, not looking bothered in the slightest.

" You should have known better Diluc" Your voice echos coldly through the trees, beckoning the shadows to fall back, you barely spare a glance to the fallen man, simply striding to your spot you were once at.

Placing your hand in the fire, you stared at him. " Teyvat will not let harm come to me, by no particle or Element that is from it." Pulling your hand from the flames, Turing it back and forth as you inspect the unburned skin.

Diluc's eyes widen, eyes flicking from your hand to the fire ' how is that possible?! How are they doing this?!' trying to understand the happenings of the last few minutes, turning ideas over and over in his head franticly, searching for the claymore he dropped.

" You ignored your body's warnings Diluc, the pain, the hesitance." You stride towards the still fallen Diluc. " What made you think you, someone with the blood of Teyvat running through your veins, could harm me?"

Crouching in front of him, a frown pulling at your lips " Accusing me of crimes I didn't commit, of someone I so happen to look like?!" You hiss at him, gripping his jaw in your hand as you look in his eyes.

" I have done nothing wrong besides being born..." You mummer to him, sadness flickering across your face. Diluc watches, chest squeezing tight as he sees the sadness flash across your face, body oddly taking comfort from your touch.

" Who are you?" Shakes from his mouth, as he finally realized who exactly he has been hunting down, shame and horror shuttling down his spine as he realizes what a grave mistake he made, what they made.

" Not someone, you or any person of Teyvat will know. You all have shown me who you are." Hardening your feelings, shaking off the agony of having your favorite people attempt to hurt you, you speak to the air, to the very foundation of Teyvat.

" Get him away from me, and let no one else of Teyvat find me again"

The winds of Mondstat howl to complete your command, begining to drag the struggling Diluc forever from your side. Pleas and apologies are ripped from his throat, the very air he needs to speak and breathe, sucked away from his chest. He can only watch hopelessly as he is dragged away, away from the person he was supposed to worship, to love, to care for and hold. A revelation that came too late for him and the people of Teyvat.

The last image he has of you, forever stuck in his mind, and the words that will haunt him for the rest of his days, are of you, sadly watching him be taken away, softly saying under your breath

" You disappoint me Diluc Ragnvindr, and everyone else of these horrible nations..."

Turning from him, you walk back to the fire, sighing and slumping down to the ground, and he knows that he nor the people of Teyvat, will never be forgiven for thier transgressions against their god, Teyvat itself will not allow it.

❤️

[sevsssnape]

Mauruaders stans are the oddest fuckers put there. They straight up want to have code names like the mauruaders. And for what reason? Half of your gang doesn't live up to 22, those who do survive literally have 0 charecter development and quite literally only sound like gym teachers talking how they were the shit back in highschool (then again you can only talk about your past because your life deadass stops) .

Also they had like the unhealthiest dynamic of all time and that lack of communication led to their downfall. 90 % of mauruader content is fanon.

The reality is that they grew up with little to no pretense of a possible war and were sheltered by magic youth l guess. When they graduated, they had to choose sides because for some unknown reason there were little no no adults and they literally died (lmao).

But yeah tell me how being called ' insert colour and your fav plant', and kinning a dead charecter with 0 development, can literally help you cope with apparent continuous indie highschool musical lifestyle. (choices were made, certainly questionable ones)

Literally snape fans should be only trusted in granting development to jkr plot devices (the mauruaders) in a 'everybody lives/nobody dies au'. And I stand by that.

SORRY I TOTALLY FORGOT TO ACTUALLY RESPOND AND NOT IN MY HEAD

Half of your gang doesn't live up to 22, those who do survive literally have 0 charecter development and quite literally only sound like gym teachers talking how they were the shit back in highschool

this 💀💀

also in case of pettigrew the dude become a fucking death eater, brought back V O L D E M O R T to life. dude.

Also they had like the unhealthiest dynamic of all time

EXACTLY. like sirius accused lupin of joining voldy, lupin didn't bat a fucking eye when sirius was accused of MASS MURDER like it was totally believable for him that he'd do such thing. i mean? what tf does that say about these characters?

also pettigrew had SUCH low trust in them that literally went begging to voldy.

and that lack of communication led to their downfall

honestly i don't believe even communicating would've saved them at that point. they'd known each other for seven fucking years and how they'd gotten to know each other directly chose their decisions for them.

sirius thought lupin was a werewolf and since he'd been this loyal to dumbledore bc he gave him a chance and supported him through hogwarts, why wouldn't he go to voldy now, that was extra powerful and that would ACTUALLY support lupin bc of his dark heritage and stuff?

lupin had witnessed sirius giving zero shit about shit and attempting M U R D E R for FUN!! back when he was like sixteen, so why wouldn't it make sense that he'd actually go on and kill people when he's drunk on fury and grief?

and pettigrew, pettigrew knew them. knew they weren't men of war, just oversized spoiled pricks that would endanger anyone and anything for... literally nothing. for fucking fun. and this one wasn't just from when they were back in hogwarts,

porker and sirius went harassing people even when they were in the middle of war!!! and in HIDING!!

i mean now that i'm thinking pettigrew was the most sensible of them all. wow.

90 % of mauruader content is fanon

lol literally😭😭

When they graduated, they had to choose sides because for some unknown reason there were little no no adults and they literally died (lmao)

exactly :))

actually, this is either another plot hole on the terf bitch's side, or dumbledore had lost so much of his popularity throughout the years since the war with grindelwald, bc eg we know orion black, abraxas malfoy and so many others indirectly supported voldemort, and all their children from any age; lucius being in his late twenties, bellatrix in her fucking thirties, same for rodolphus, and so many more that were actual adults, then there were regulus, barty crouch and many other ones that had just graduated hogwarts. yet dumbledore only had a bunch of little gryffindorks. and contrary to the elders of the black family, malfoy family, lestranges and so many others, those like fleamont potter weren't even indirectly supporting the order.

literally the ONLY reason dumbledick won the war was bc of severus, and HOW i wish he hadn't changed sides. i can't believe him.

But yeah tell me how being called ' insert colour and your fav plant', and kinning a dead charecter with 0 development, can literally help you cope with apparent continuous indie highschool musical lifestyle. (choices were made, certainly questionable ones)

omg this💀💀💀💀

i really don't get why. like. why. wtf. how i hate stupid people.

granting development to jkr plot devices (the mauruaders) in a 'everybody lives/nobody dies au'

wjgkeflkwjhurgefkadwefad