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4linos · 13 hours ago

Text

they call you clingy.

ot8 x gn!reader

warning: really angsty, feeling insecure/unworthy, no happy endings. (sorry)

wc: 8708

bang chan

You and Chan had been together for a while, and things were generally great between you two. You had your own lives, your own routines, but there was always a sense of closeness between you that you both cherished. Lately, though, you’d found yourself tagging along with him more often, especially when he had dinner plans with the members.

At first, he didn’t mind. In fact, he enjoyed having you around, and the other members seemed to appreciate it too. Some of their girlfriends were there as well, so it felt natural, like a group gathering. But after a while, you started coming along more frequently, not wanting to spend evenings apart. You thought it was a way to spend more time with him, but you could tell it was starting to weigh on Chan, though you weren’t sure why.

Chan said nothing at first, but you could tell he became quieter and more distant throughout these dinners. He looked at his phone more frequently, and his smile seemed forced when you spoke with him or the others. Still, you tried to ignore it, telling yourself it was just your imagination. You weren't doing anything wrong by wanting to be with him, right? You had every right to join him on nights when he was with the other members. But you couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

One evening, as you all gathered for a casual dinner at a restaurant, the atmosphere was different. You were laughing, eating, and talking with some of the other girls when you realized Chan was particularly quiet. He was nibbling at his food and not really participating in the conversation. You leaned over to him, laying your hand on his arm, attempting to draw him into the moment.

"Chan, is everything okay?" You asked, your voice gentle and anxious.

He shuddered slightly at the contact and gave you a fake smile. "Yeah, everything's fine," he said, but the tiredness in his voice was clear. The others didn’t seem to notice, but you did. It felt like he was pushing away from you just a little. Your stomach twisted as you tried to ignore the unease creeping in. Then, the conversation shifted. As the dinner continued, someone brought up how often you came along with Chan to these meals. You didn’t think much of it at first, but you could feel his discomfort growing.

“Honestly, though,” Chan suddenly chimed in, his voice a little more sharp than usual, “it’s getting a bit much. She’s always tagging along. It’s like she can’t ever be away from me. It's kind of suffocating.”

The words hit you like a smack in the face. You froze, your heart sinking to the bottom of your stomach. The table fell silent for a moment, the tension in the air evident. You could feel everyone's gaze on you, and your cheeks reddened with shame. You tried to shrug it off, believing it was a joke, but the expression in Chan's eyes revealed his disinterest. He was not joking. Time seemed to slow down, and you could feel the sting of his words settling deep within you. Without thinking, you excused yourself from the table and went to the restroom, your chest tight and your eyes welling with tears. You locked yourself in a stall and tried to calm your pounding heart, but the words replayed in your mind over and over again. “Clingy,” “suffocating.” You felt small, insignificant, and utterly hurt.

Meanwhile, at the table, the other members exchanged glances, seemingly uneasy about what had just happened. After a minute, Hyunjin spoke up, his tone surprisingly soft. "Chan, that wasn't cool, man. Why would you say anything like that? She isn't clinging at all. She's just trying to spend time with you."

Felix nodded in line, his tone quiet yet forceful. "Yeah, we really like having her around. She makes things more fun, you know? I don't understand why you'd say something like that.”

Chan wasn't sure how to answer. He had meant it as a joke, something to relieve the stress he'd been experiencing lately, but now that he'd heard the other responses from the others, a rush of shame swept over him. He felt he'd crossed a boundary, but it wasn't until they spoke out that he recognized how serious the situation was. "I didn't mean it like that," he whispered, but his apologies seemed hollow even for him.

His thoughts was muddled by remorse, and for the first time in a long time, he felt completely embarrassed. "I think you should go talk to her," Minho said softly. "She is probably really hurt right now. You have to make it right."

Chan’s stomach churned. He didn’t want to think about how badly he’d hurt you. His usual confident self was gone, replaced by a knot of regret.

lee know

It was one of those days. The sort where everything you touched seemed to fall apart, and every corner you turned revealed another disaster ready to happen. The day began with your boss screaming at you for something you didn't even do, his anger pouring out on you as if it were your responsibility that the world was collapsing. You hardly had time to calm yourself before spilling your coffee all over your blouse at lunch. The entire day had been an upsurge of humiliating incidents, missed deadlines, and biting your tongue to resist snapping at everyone who gave you the wrong look.

You were physically and emotionally drained when you arrived home. You just wanted the day to end, to close your eyes and forget everything. However, when you walked through the door, you were welcomed by a familiar, comfortable smell.

Minho was in the kitchen, wearing an apron and humming softly to himself while making something. Your heart lifted a little because he was here, cooking for you. The simple gesture of kindness was a welcome breath of fresh air after a long day of drowning.

You stood by the door, hesitant whether to interrupt, but then he turned toward you with a gentle smile. "Hey, how was your day?"

You forced a smile, despite the weight of the day pressing on you. “It was... fine. I’m just glad to be home.”

He noticed the weariness in your eyes and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders in a gentle embrace. It was the kind of comfort you needed, even if you didn’t know it until he offered it. “Relax. I’ve got dinner covered. Why don’t you just sit down and take it easy?”

You nodded, thankful for his concern, but something inside you refused to just sit back and do nothing. It felt awful to be passive while he was so busy. "Let me help," you volunteered, heading near the counter, attempting to gather yourself after a stressful day. Minho gently shook his head, a teasing gleam in his eyes. "There's no need. "Please relax, okay?" You couldn't help but feel a sense of dissatisfaction. He was always so selfless and compassionate, and you didn't want to be someone who just sat by. Instead of disputing, you nodded and gave in to his desire. He was right, after all; you could use a break. “Alright. But give me something small to do.”

Minho paused for a moment to contemplate, then assigned you a tiny task. "Okay, could you please tidy up a little while I finish the soup? Just wipe down the countertops." It seemed simple enough.

You took a rag and followed his instructions while he worked on the soup. The house was peaceful, almost serene, and you hadn't felt that type of peace all day. It was good to be here with him and feel like you weren't confronting the world alone.

But in the middle of cleaning, your eyes darted to the pot of soup on the stove. It smelled incredible like something he had poured his heart into. You felt a surge of gratitude, the kind that made you want to help him, to show him how much you appreciated everything he did for you.

Without thinking, you decided to move the pot, to give him a little more space so he could focus on finishing everything. You gently lifted the heavy pot, but as you tried to shift it, your grip faltered. The edge of the pot slipped from your hand, and in an instant, it tilted, the boiling liquid splashing violently all over the kitchen floor and onto your leg.

You screamed out in shock, the searing heat of the soup burning into your skin, but the pain on your leg was nothing compared to the way everything seemed to shatter around you. The kitchen became chaos. The pot had fallen, splattered everywhere, and the delicious smell was suddenly replaced with the pungent scent of spilled soup. You tried to gather yourself, but the kitchen was now a disaster, and so were you on the verge of tears, overwhelmed, hurt, and defeated.

Minho turned when he heard the accident. His expression shifted from worry to annoyance in an instant. You looked up, and his eyes were filled with anger. The following words he said struck you harder than the burn on your leg. "Why are you always so clingy? I spent hours making that! "If you had just stayed out of the way for once, this could have been avoided!" His voice was harsh and slashed through the air like a razor. You stared at him, frozen in shock.

Was this actually happening?

His words felt like a punch to your chest. They were not what you expected, not from him, not when you were already dealing with the weight of the world. Your mind scrambled to make sense of it. How had it come to this? How had you gone from being the person he always tried to comfort to someone he now seemed to resent?

He stayed there, hands clenched at his sides. "God, I can't believe this," he said quietly, shaking his head. You always do this. You always get in the way. "Why can't you just relax and let me do it?"

You couldn't react because your heart was hammering painfully in your chest. You had spilled more than simply the soup. It was not only the mess. It was the sting of being accused of something you never wanted to do, like being too much. You did not want to be a burden for him. You never intended to make things more difficult, yet everything you did seemed to make things worse.

Minho sighed, looking at the mess with frustration. “Just… go to the room or something,” he snapped, turning away from you.

You stood there, unsure of what to do, feeling smaller than you ever had before. You knew he was angry, but the way he dismissed you, the way he acted like you were just an inconvenience, was something you hadn’t expected from him. He wasn’t usually like this. But right now, it felt like you had done something unforgivable. It felt like everything you had ever tried to do for him had been wrong, every gesture of kindness or help misplaced.

Your legs gave way, and you sank to the floor, trying to steady yourself, but your hands trembled with the weight of his words. Hot tears welled up in your eyes, and you didn’t bother wiping them away. The physical pain in your leg from the burns was nothing compared to the ache in your chest. You had wanted to help, to make things better for him. But now, all you could do was try to tend to your own wounds both physical and emotional alone.

You pulled yourself up slowly, wiping away the tears you hadn’t realized were falling, trying to find the strength to move. Minho was still in the kitchen, silent now, cleaning up the mess you had made, but his anger still hung in the air, thick and suffocating.

You left him there, retreating to your bedroom, feeling more isolated than you had in a long time. The night was quiet, but the silence between you and Minho felt louder than ever. And in that silence, you couldn’t help but wonder how long you could keep trying to be the person he wanted you to be when everything you did seemed to push him further away.

changbin

The evening started out like any other. You and Changbin were going to go to the gym together after a long day. You were excited to spend more time with him, especially since you had been trying to join him at the gym more often recently. At first, it seemed like a fun bonding activity. You'd go to encourage him, attempt to keep up with some of the exercises, and simply enjoy being with him. Changbin had always been a bit of a lone wolf, preferring his own time to recuperate, but he'd been nice enough to let you tag along at first.

You didn’t realize that things had slowly started to change. What had initially felt like an innocent way to spend more time together had started to weigh on him. Maybe it was because you’d started following him around everywhere always just a few steps behind, trying to do what he was doing, lingering around him during his sets. Maybe it was because he didn’t have his usual space anymore. But whatever the reason, Changbin was beginning to feel the pressure, and he didn’t know how to tell you.

You had no idea how much your presence at the gym was bothering him. He wasn't trying to hurt you or make you feel bad about wanting to spend time with him, but tonight was different. He could feel his patience fading and his irritation growing the more you wanted to incorporate yourself into his routine. It was supposed to be his time to escape. He needed the gym to be his sanctuary, a place to unwind and clear his mind. But tonight, as you followed him from machine to machine, everything came to a head.

The air in the gym seemed heavier than usual. Changbin could feel his patience fraying as you followed him for what seemed like the umpteenth time. You weren't doing anything wrong, yet he couldn't shake the overwhelming sense that you were constantly present. His gaze shifted to the clock on the wall; he'd been here for nearly an hour. And it wasn't that you were clingy in an obnoxious way; it was simply that you were always with him, which was enough to frustrate him.

He couldn't concentrate, couldn't clear his mind as he used to. You were always there, following his every move, asking questions about his setups, and attempting to get in the way of his routine. His thoughts were clouded, his mind no longer able to concentrate on the iron and his own movements. He couldn’t unwind. He couldn’t breathe.

When you followed him to the weights area once again, his frustration bubbled over.

“Y/N, can you just stop?” he snapped, his voice harsh and sharp, completely different from the usual warmth you were used to. His words cut through the air like a slap. “Can you just let me have this one thing? The gym isn’t supposed to be some place where you follow me around all the time. I need it to be my own. I need my space. You’re always here, and it’s... it’s too much.”

You froze, a cold shiver of confusion running through your body. Your eyes flickered from his irritated face to the ground, unsure of what to say. You had always been so excited to share things with him, and this was the last place you thought something like this would happen.

“B-Bin... I didn’t—" you started, your voice faltering, but he cut you off, his frustration spilling over.

“You’re always clinging to me, Y/N. And at first, I thought it was cute. But now? It’s just too much. The gym is supposed to be my alone time, somewhere I can relax, somewhere I can focus. But you’re here, and I can’t even do that anymore,” he said, each word feeling like a weight crashing down on you.

Your chest tightened and you found yourself unable to breathe for a little while. It felt as if the world had stopped moving around you, and all you could hear was the flow of blood in your ears. You weren't expecting to hear those words from him. Changbin had always been supportive and loving, even if he was a little protective of his space. What about now? Now it felt like he was pushing you away. And the way he avoided your gaze while he spoke, as if he couldn't stand to witness the pain he was causing, you could feel your heart breaking piece by piece.

You bit your lip, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill, but it didn’t help. The lump in your throat was too big, and the pain was too overwhelming. You weren’t clingy. You just wanted to be close to him. You didn’t realize that your presence, something you thought was innocent, had been smothering him. But hearing it from him so bluntly… it felt like a punch to the gut.

You said nothing at first. Your body was stiff, your eyes filled with unshed tears. You wanted to say something, but the words would not come out. Instead, you simply turned slowly and began to walk away. "I'll go," you said softly, your voice barely audible. Your steps were wobbly as you approached the exit. Changbin turned around, his heart sinking into his chest. It hit him, followed by the look in your eyes. Your lips quivered. He realized what he had just said. The frustration and fury had been misplaced. He didn't mean to hurt you. He wasn't trying to make you feel unwanted. But it was too late now. The damage was done.

“Y/N—wait!” he called after you, but it was no use. You didn’t even turn around. You just kept walking, your back stiff, your steps hurried.

hyunjin

(a/n: you and hyunjin aren’t a couple here, you’re childhood best friends)

The after-party had been buzzing with energy all night, full of celebration and the kind of chaotic, joyful atmosphere that followed every successful concert. It was supposed to be a moment of relief, a chance to let go of the weight of the stage and just relax with friends. You, however, couldn’t seem to shake off the knot of tension that had been growing inside you for weeks.

It hadn’t been an abrupt change, not really. Hyunjin, your best friend, had slowly started to become distant. At first, it was subtle, a shift in the way he looked at you, the way he barely seemed to notice when you were around. But now, it had become glaringly obvious, especially in moments like this, when you found yourself desperately trying to keep the connection you two had built over the years.

You’d always been there for him, supporting him through everything the highs and the lows. But lately, whenever you tried to lean on him, he pulled away. The distance between you had begun to feel insurmountable, and tonight, surrounded by the group at the after-party, it felt like the final straw.

You felt an odd, uncomfortable pull as soon as you walked inside the party. The sight of Hyunjin laughing with the rest of the group should have made you happy, but instead it made your chest tighten with anxiety. He looked... unusual. His eyes, the way they avoided yours, made it clear that something had changed between you two. You despised the sense of being on the outside, like you didn't belong anymore.

You had tried to give him his space during the last few weeks, respecting the growing distance between you. But tonight, you were determined to be present. To pretend as if everything was still fine.

After all, you were his best friend, right?

You moved over to where he was sitting, talking with Seungmin and Jeongin. When they saw you approaching, Jeongin's face lit up with that warm, welcome smile that always put you at at ease. He gave you a warm nod and motioned for you to join them, which you immediately did, thinking that the familiarity of the situation could help the uneasiness that had begun to settle over you. But once you sat down, Hyunjin's tone changed. His eyes flicked across to you for a quick, unreadable look before returning to the others. You tried not to take it personally, but it hurt. Jeongin was chatting animatedly about something, but you couldn't pay attention. All you could think about was how Hyunjin had practically turned his back on you.

After a few moments, you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You leaned closer to Hyunjin, trying to keep your tone light, as if everything were normal. “Hey, Hyunjin... you good? You’ve seemed off lately.”

He looked at you, his expression suddenly sharp. “I’m fine,” he replied quickly, and there was a coldness to his voice that cut through you like ice.

You didn’t know what to say. You had always been able to talk through things before, but now it seemed like he didn’t even want to acknowledge you. You tried again, your voice trembling just slightly, “I’m just checking in... I’ve noticed you’ve been a little distant.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, as if he were irritated with you asking. “You’re always around,” he said, his voice laced with annoyance. “I don’t need you following me everywhere. It’s annoying.”

The words hit you like a slap. You froze, the weight of his comment sinking deep into your chest. You had no idea where this was coming from. You had always been there for him, not because you needed to be, but because you cared about him. You wanted to be there. But now, suddenly, it felt like you were an inconvenience.

The room felt suffocating, the noise of the party growing distant as you tried to process what he had just said. You had always been careful not to smother him, always tried to give him space. But now he was telling you that your presence, your very existence, was too much for him.

It was too much.

The lump in your throat grew, but you weren’t going to let him see you falter. You tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over, but you couldn’t stop the rush of emotions that came flooding to the surface. You had tried so hard to be understanding, to be patient, but this was too much to handle.

Before you could say anything more, you snapped. “You know what, Hyunjin? I’m not following you around,” your voice trembling with a mix of hurt and frustration. “I’m only here because Felix invited me. As his date.”

The words hung in the air, sharper than you intended, but you didn’t care. You could feel the sting of betrayal, the way Hyunjin had made you feel small, and the anger bubbled up inside you. The room grew quiet for a moment, everyone’s attention now focused on the exchange.

You didn’t look at Hyunjin. You couldn’t. Instead, you turned on your heel, your pulse pounding in your ears, and walked straight to Felix, who was standing nearby. He gave you a surprised glance, but he didn’t ask questions. He simply wrapped an arm around you as you sat next to him, offering you a comforting presence in the midst of your emotional storm.

You didn't speak for a time, your thoughts racing from the argument, but Felix didn't press you to explain. He just let you sit there in peace, his arm resting comfortably on your shoulder. You leaned into him, attempting to center yourself and escape the overpowering pain that threatened to consume you whole. Felix did not deserve to bear the burden of your wounded heart, but in that time, his comfort was the only thing that made sense.

Hyunjin's gaze stayed fixed on you as the party went on. But you refused to look his direction. He'd already made it apparent that your presence no longer mattered to him. He had driven you away with his hurtful words, and as much as it pained you to admit it, you knew deep down that it was too late to fix things.

The rest of the night was a blur. You couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened, about how he had made you feel so small, so insignificant. The person who had once been your best friend, who had always been there for you, was now the one who had cast you aside. And the worst part was that you didn’t even know why.

As the party wound down and everyone began to leave, you stayed close to Felix, not looking back, not wanting to face Hyunjin. You didn’t know what had changed between you two, or why he had suddenly decided that your friendship wasn’t worth his time. All you knew was that the person who had once been your closest confidant, the one who knew all your secrets and fears, had just torn your heart apart.

And you didn’t know how to fix it.

HAN

The evening began like any other, or so it was supposed to be. But Jisung felt as if the world was pushing down on him with every step he made into the apartment. The intensity of the day still clung to him, like a physical weight of frustration, disappointment, and tiredness. He had spent hours in the meeting with the company staff, only to hear criticism for the smallest mistakes and missteps. It wasn't the first time, but it always hurt. This time, however, it seemed different; he couldn't shake the nagging sense of inadequacy.

The door clicked behind him, and the familiar aroma of home didn't bring much comfort. Instead, it was almost smothering. His limbs ached, his mind raced, and all he needed was peace, time to unwind.

But you were there.

You always were.

As soon as he walked through the door, your eyes searched his face, and he could see the concern etched over your features. He could tell you'd sensed something was wrong. He attempted to disguise it when he saw you earlier that day, brushing off your "are you okay?" with a quick "yeah, I'm fine," but now, as you stood there with that sweet look in your eyes, he couldn't help but see it. You could look right through him, like glass.

"Jisung," you said quietly, your voice carrying the gentle tone you always used when you knew he was struggling, "are you sure you're okay? You don’t look okay."

It wasn’t the first time you’d asked. You'd been asking since the moment he came home, like you always did when you saw him worn down, like you always did when he looked like he was holding a little too much in. But no matter how well you meant it, no matter how much you truly cared about him, he just didn’t want to talk about it. Not today. Not tonight.

"I’m fine," he muttered, his tone dismissive, but you could hear the edge in his voice.

You hesitated, eyes scanning him again, sensing the distance between his words and the tension in his body.

"Jisung… I know you’re not fine," you said softly, a frown pulling at your lips. You reached toward him, wanting to bridge the gap that was widening between you, but he stepped back before you could touch him.

"I’m fine," he repeated, louder this time, irritation lacing his voice. "Just stop asking."

Your heart twisted, but you tried to swallow the hurt, not wanting to push him further. But you couldn’t stop yourself from trying again, desperate to get him to open up. "Please, I can tell something’s wrong. If you need to talk, I’m here."

He froze at that, hands clenched at his sides, jaw clenched. His frustration, the irritation that had been building inside him all day, finally cracked open.

"I said I'm fine!" He snapped, his voice sharp, his eyes burning with anger, not at you, but at the world that had worn him down. "Why are you always so clingy? It's annoying. I do not need you hovering over me like this. I don't need you constantly keeping tabs on me!" The words were biting and nasty. You trembled, a flood of hurt smashing over you, but you tried to stay calm.

You couldn't help but feel the sting of dismissal and the weight of his harshness. "I'm just trying to help you," you said softly, your voice quivering slightly. "I just want to make sure that you're okay. Why don't you let me help?"

He glanced at you, the spark of guilt in his eyes swiftly drowned out by the a flood of frustration within him. He opened his mouth and nothing came out. He wanted to apologize. He knew he hurt you. But the words did not come, and he had no idea how to make it right. He didn't know how to ask for what he wanted when everything inside him felt like it was about to come apart.

You did not wait for him to say anything. The anger, bewilderment, and hurt welled up in your chest, and before you could stop yourself, you turned on your heel and marched out, your footsteps loud and strong as you made your way to the bedroom.

The door slammed behind you, and for a moment, there was nothing but silence. You sank onto the bed, feeling the weight of the frustration both his and yours press down on your chest like a suffocating blanket.

You didn’t want to cry. You didn’t want to feel this way. You had only wanted to help him. To be there for him when he was struggling. But all he had done was push you away.

You heard no footsteps, no soft knock on the door. Normally, when something like this happened, he would come after you. He would apologize, his voice soft and regretful, and you’d make up. He’d say something about how it wasn’t you, how he was just having a hard time. But this time, the silence stretched on. The door stayed closed.

It wasn’t long before you realized he wasn’t coming.

The silence felt so loud, so suffocating, and it only made everything hurt more. He wasn’t here to apologize. He wasn’t here to soothe you like he always did.

And maybe this time it wasn't all about him. Maybe it was more than simply his tiredness and irritation. Maybe it was about something deeper, something more than just a bad day at work. Your heart broke at the thought that he might have pushed you away because he didn't know how to accept you. Maybe he'd been hiding his pain for so long because he was frightened to show you the parts of himself he thought were too shattered. Maybe he was just too stressed to recognize that you weren't a burden, but rather someone who wanted to help him shoulder the weight.

But right now, none of that mattered. What mattered was that he had called you clingy, had pushed you away when all you wanted was to hold him close.

You curled up in bed, hugging your knees to your chest, and tried not to cry.

You didn’t hear him come in, but you felt the weight of the bed shift beside you. Jisung’s presence was always so familiar, so warm, but tonight it felt distant. He didn’t touch you. He didn’t say anything. He just sat there, in the darkness, as the minutes dragged on.

And you, as much as it hurt, didn’t know if you could ask him again if he was okay. Not yet. Not until he was ready to admit that he wasn’t.

felix

It had been one of those days where everything seemed strange, as if a thin film of tension had been applied to the edges of everything you did. The kind of day where even the most basic tasks felt significant, and no matter how hard you tried to make things feel normal, you couldn't escape the growing distance. Maybe you chalked it up to stress. Maybe it was just a phase. Everyone goes through a hard stretch, right? But when you woke in the middle of the night, your hand instinctively going for the warm spot beside you, only to find it empty, that emotion became too strong to ignore. Felix had always been the one to stay close, even in sleep. He was always so attentive to your needs, so present. But now, the space between you was cold, and the bed felt too large without him there.

You sat up, the quiet of the room pressing in on you, your heartbeat loud in your ears as you swung your legs off the side of the bed. The soft glow of the TV in the living room flickered across the hallway, casting long shadows.

As you made your way down the hall, you saw him there, slumped on the couch, his eyes fixed on the screen but unseeing, staring at it like it held some answer that he couldn’t quite grasp. You could see the strain in his posture, the weight of something pressing on him, but he didn't acknowledge you as you approached.

You stopped a few feet away, unsure what to say. The silence between you two felt like a wall, immovable and unbreakable. This wasn't the Felix you knew, the one who would always offer a comforting smile or an encouraging word when you needed it. This version of him was remote and frigid, as if he built a fortress and did not plan to let anyone in.

"Felix," you whispered slowly, trying not to shock him, your voice trembling with emotion. "What's wrong?"

He didn’t respond at first, as if he hadn’t heard you, or maybe he just didn’t want to answer. The minutes dragged on, each second feeling like it added more distance between you two. Finally, when he spoke, his voice was low and strained, and it hit you in a way you hadn’t expected.

“Nothing,” he muttered, though it was clear that wasn’t true. His words didn’t match the heaviness in the air, the emptiness that had settled between you two. “Just… leave me alone, okay?”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Leave him alone? You didn’t understand. Since when had he ever asked you for space, especially like this? Felix had always been the one to reach out, to comfort you, to be the one you could lean on when things got tough. But now, he was shutting you out, pushing you away.

You stood there, paralyzed, staring at the back of his head as the emptiness in the room seemed to swallow you whole. His posture was stiff, almost defensive, like he was trying to make himself smaller, trying to hide from you, and it hurt more than you ever expected.

"You don't have to be so clingy all the time," he said, his voice more clipped and distant than you'd ever heard. It was as if the words were spoken by someone else, a stranger in the body of the person you loved.

Clingy? The word resonated in your thoughts, sending you reeling. You'd never considered yourself clingy. Have you really gotten so annoying? Was your affection and presence too much for him? You couldn't understand it. The connection, the intimacy that had once been so natural between you two now seemed so far away, as if it were a dream you couldn't fathom.

“I just…” Your voice faltered, and you took a shaky breath, willing yourself not to cry, not to show him just how much his words had wounded you. “I just wanted to know what’s wrong. You’re… you’re not like this, Felix. Not with me.”

You took a tentative step forward, hoping that your proximity would reach him, that your presence would somehow break through the wall he had built around himself. But he didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge you, and that hurt more than anything else. It was the silence, the refusal to face you, that felt like a betrayal.

"Please talk to me," you whispered, your heart breaking as you watched him remain motionless on the couch, his eyes still fixed on the television, as though he could pretend you weren’t even there.

But Felix didn’t respond. Instead, he kept his focus on the screen, the distant expression on his face more painful than any argument. You could feel the distance between you growing, spreading like a chasm, and it felt like you were standing at the edge, about to fall into the void.

It wasn't always this way, you thought, recalling times when simply being in the same room was enough to make you feel connected. It seemed as if you blinked and everything had changed. He wasn't the same Felix who would stay up with you when you were feeling sad, holding you and whispering comfort in the darkness. The man who had once looked at you with warmth and love now seemed so distant, like a stranger you didn't recognize.

Your heart ached; the anguish of losing him, feeling him slide through your fingers, was almost excruciating. You could not tolerate the deafening stillness between you any longer.

With a last, desperate glance at him, you whispered, “I’m here, Felix. I’m always here for you. If you need space, if you need time, I’ll give it to you. But I just… I just need to know you’re okay.”

But he didn't respond and didn't move. His silence hurt worse than words could, and you realized, with a sickening feeling, that you had no idea where you stood in his life. The Felix you knew, the Felix who would always reach out to you, seemed like a memory you could no longer grasp onto. You turned away, your feet feeling heavy as you walked back to the bedroom, the distance between you two becoming more than just physical.

The weight of his disinterest crushed against your chest, smothering you, and you wondered whether things would ever be the same again. Will he come to you eventually? Would he tell you about what was bothering him, or had you already lost him in ways you couldn’t fix?

You climbed back into bed, the sheets cold where he should have been beside you. And as the night stretched on in silence, you tried not to feel the unbearable emptiness that had settled in your heart, wondering if Felix would ever look at you the same way again.

seungmin

The front door creaked open, and you could hear Seungmin's footsteps in the hallway, dragging slightly, indicating how exhausted he must have been after a long day of practice and vocal lessons. You'd been waiting for him, possibly too eagerly, though you tried not to admit it. You had planned to talk, the conversation you'd been putting off for days because the silence had gotten unbearable. The subtle shift in his demeanor, the way he became more distant and engaged in his own world, weighed heavy on your chest.

You knew how busy he was, how much work he put into his training and craft. But it didn't take away the sting of feeling like an afterthought, as if you were no longer a part of his life. You had tried to keep it together, to give him his space when he needed it, but the continual feeling of being neglected was gradually pulling you apart. You needed him to see you. You needed him to care the way he used to, to put forth the same effort that you did.

So, as the door clicked shut and you heard him move toward the kitchen, you braced yourself and entered the hallway to greet him.

"Seungmin," you called softly, but there was no immediate response. He didn’t even look up, didn’t even glance in your direction.

You took a breath, trying to keep the anxiety from choking you. "Can we talk?" Your voice was steady, though you could feel the tremor beneath it. "It feels like we’re not the same anymore."

His footsteps faltered for half a second, and you thought maybe you had caught his attention. But instead of stopping, he just continued walking past you, brushing past your shoulder so closely you could feel the coldness radiating off him. He didn’t even spare you a glance.

"Seungmin," you said again, but this time there was a little crack in your voice, a vulnerability you didn't want to express. You needed him to hear and see you, even if just for a moment. But he did not stop. Finally, he gave a low, exasperated groan that hung between you like a wall. He turned halfway, his eyes flickering to you with an enigmatic expression. "Why do you always make things so dramatic?" His comments were harsh, cutting through the silence and making you flinch. "You're really clingy. Just leave me alone for once."

The words were like a punch to the gut. The force of them knocked the wind out of you, and your heart seemed to stop for just a moment, trapped somewhere in the space between your chest and throat. You hadn’t expected this. You hadn’t expected him to say something so cold, so dismissive. All you had wanted was to talk, to bridge the distance that had formed between you, but now it felt like you were drowning in it.

Your body went still. You opened your mouth to respond, to explain how unfair that was, but no words came. How could you even argue against that? How could you explain that all you wanted was his attention, his care? You weren’t clingy you were hurt.

"Seungmin, I’m not—" The words tumbled out weakly, but they didn’t seem to matter.

"You are," he interrupted, his tone now flat, distant. "I don’t have the energy for this right now."

He turned away from you, heading toward the kitchen without another glance, leaving you standing in the hallway, shattered.

You stood there for a long moment, frozen in the aftermath of his words. Everything you had been holding back, all the frustration, the confusion, the loneliness that had built up over the last few weeks, was suddenly crashing down on you like a wave. Was that it? Was that all you were to him now? Someone who was too much to deal with?

You had never felt so small. So invisible.

You had tried to keep it together. You had told yourself it wasn’t a big deal, that he was just stressed, that he didn’t mean it. But now, standing there in the hallway with nothing but the echo of his dismissal ringing in your ears, you realized that maybe this was the problem the distance. The lack of communication. The feeling that no matter how hard you tried, you could never reach him, never get him to understand what you needed, what you were hurting from.

You wanted to chase after him, to try again, to make him see how much his words had stung. But something inside of you had broken. There was a voice inside you now that said, "It’s too late. You’ve tried. He doesn’t want to listen." And that was more painful than anything else knowing that, deep down, he didn’t even want to meet you halfway anymore.

You had hoped, and even prayed, that things would return to normal, that the love you once shared would reemerge. But standing there, you couldn't help but feel as if you were fighting a losing war. You didn't ask for much: simply his time, presence, and devotion. You never expected this level of coldness in return.

The silence in the home became intolerable, and each second felt like a weight on your chest. You wanted to yell at him and urge him to care, but all you could do was stand there, feeling the barriers between you two grow higher and higher.

You turned away slowly, your legs heavy, your head spinning with everything you had just heard. You didn’t know what hurt more: his words or the fact that he had walked past you like you were nothing.

You needed him to care, but right now, it felt like the person you needed was already gone.

I.N

The evening had been everything you hoped it would be: thrilling, warm, and full of laughing. You'd been dating Jeongin for about a year, and he was finally introducing you to his members. It seemed like an important milestone in your relationship. You'd heard so much about them, and now you'd get to meet the people he cared about the most. The anticipation had you beaming all evening as you helped Jeongin in cooking dinner, your heart filled with delight at the prospect of cooking together and spending time with the people who were such an important part of his life.

The dinner had gone smoothly. The atmosphere was cozy, filled with the sound of happy chatter and the clinking of silverware. The members were friendly, teasing each other and joking around. You could see why Jeongin was so close with them they were like brothers, comfortable and at ease with each other. You had felt so welcomed by them, their laughter contagious, and the food you had helped prepare had been met with praises.

As the night wore on, everyone settled into the living room, enjoying sweet treats and wine. It was the perfect end to a perfect evening, or so you had thought.

But as the evening wore on, you noticed something that made your stomach churn. Jeongin was distant. He had been quieter than normal, with his focus wandering. Normally, he would be the first to steal a kiss from you or press his hand on yours if you were close. But tonight? Tonight, it felt as if he was purposefully keeping distance between the two of you.

You brushed it off at first, believing he was just weary or stressed after introducing you to everyone. After all, meeting his members was a major step, and maybe he was just concerned with making sure things went smoothly.

But it wasn’t just that.

When you leaned in to rest your head on his shoulder, like you had done numerous times before without thinking twice, he pulled away almost immediately. The action was swift and sharp, as if you had done something wrong. You blinked in surprise, a frown tugging on your lips, but before you could ask what was wrong, he mumbled under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear, "Stop being so clingy." The words struck you like a physical punch. You froze, the warmth of your feelings for him vanished, replaced by a frigid knot of perplexity and embarrassment. Did he mean it? You could feel the weight of the members' gazes as you looked around the room, though no one said anything. But you could tell they had heard, the awkward silence that followed making it painfully clear.

You felt heat rising up your cheeks, humiliated. Had you overstepped? You had never been clingy before and had never thought of yourself in that way. But his comments, which were cutting and contemptuous, hurt more than you wanted to acknowledge. The casual tenderness you had always shared seemed like a distant memory today, a bitter reminder of how things had changed without warning.

Jeongin had always been so warm and tactile with you. Kisses on your cheek while cooking, his arm slung over your shoulder while watching TV, all the little things that made you feel safe and cherished. But tonight? Tonight he was a different person.

You tried to ignore it, thinking maybe it was a bad moment. Perhaps he was just tired, or maybe something had happened at work or with the members that was weighing on him. But as the night continued, the distance between you only seemed to grow. When you tried to brush your hand against his, he pulled it away, a small frown on his face. When you tried to rest your head on his shoulder again, he shifted uncomfortably, avoiding your touch with a small sigh.

It was as if you were a stranger to him, someone he couldn’t stand to be close to.

Your heart dropped. It was a feeling you never expected to have with him, the type of coldness that made you question everything, including the entire foundation of your relationship. You had no idea what was going on in his mind, but the way he was treating you now felt so different from the Jeongin you had fell for.

You excused yourself to the restroom, needing a moment to collect your thoughts and prevent yourself from entirely disintegrating. The quiet hum of the talk in the living room followed you as you walked back, the members' voices merging into the background as your thoughts occupied you.

Was he angry with you? Had you done something wrong? Maybe he was embarrassed by you, by your clinginess. Maybe he didn’t want to be seen as the guy who couldn’t control his girlfriend. Maybe you were being too needy, too dependent, and he just couldn’t handle it anymore. Maybe he had changed, and you were the one who had failed to notice.

You stared at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm the tightness in your chest. When you returned to the living room, you tried to smile, to pretend like everything was fine. But the look on Jeongin’s face when you came back made your stomach twist even further. He didn’t smile at you like he usually did. He didn’t reach for you. He just sat there, a distance between you that felt like an ocean.

You sat down again, feeling smaller than you had with him before. You did not want to confront him in front of the other members. Not when things were going so well. You didn't want to ruin the evening or make things uncomfortable for everyone. But the awkwardness was already there. It seemed like a thick cloud suffocating you, and you knew he felt the same way.

Eventually, the evening came to an end. The group began saying their goodbyes, laughing and conversing, although their voices were scarcely audible. You were too consumed by the subtle tension between you and Jeongin, who hadn't spoken anything to you since your previous conversation. You gently grabbed your stuff, not quite meeting his eyes.

When you reached the door, Jeongin still hadn’t moved. He was standing by the couch, talking to one of the members, completely ignoring you. It wasn’t how you thought it would go. This wasn’t how you imagined the night would end.

It wasn’t until you were halfway out the door that he finally spoke, his voice distant, flat. "You okay?" he asked, as if the tension between you hadn’t been there all evening.

You stood frozen, looking back at him, your chest tight. You wanted to say so many things. You wanted to ask why he was acting this way, to demand an explanation, to tell him how hurt you were by the way he had dismissed you. But you didn’t. Instead, you forced a small smile, though it didn’t reach your eyes.

"Yeah," you replied softly, your voice quiet, strained. "I’m fine."

And then you stepped out, leaving the apartment behind, the discomfort and uncertainty lingering in the air like a thick cloud. You had no idea what had happened or what had caused this abrupt change, but you couldn't shake the feeling that something in your relationship had just broken. Something that might not be fixable.

And as the door clicked shut behind you, you weren't sure if Jeongin noticed.

(proofread ❌)

masterlist

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mossangelll · 1 day ago

Note

please please please! is there a part 2 of "bath time" of yandere!jinx? that was so good, like, real good... i felt butterflies in my stomach. i hope you consider writing a second part because i feel like i'm going insane. i need her so much:(

thank you for your service! your writing is so good. i hope your pillow is cold in both ways♡

"please, don't stop writing about her..." i beg as i kneel weakly in front of you.

so you’re the reason my pillow has been nice and cold recently…ty 😌

a/n: so fun to write! this jinx is very delusional and doesn’t even know what the word ‘boundary’ means lmao but i was also a bit stressed writing this bcs i never planned for there to be a sequel but there was a lot of interest. idk if they want to be tagged but ty to the person in my dms who inspired me to write pt2! what i’m trying to say is idk if it’ll live up to expectations but i hope you like!! also, i won’t stop writing for jinx or arcane for a while ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

bed time 🛏️💤 - sequel to bath time

cw: yandere behaviour, unhealthy relationship, drugging, dubcon, noncon, nsfw - mdni 18+ only

Something was wrong with Jinx, you didn’t know what exactly but you could tell the moment she guided you to your seat in the makeshift dining room room, hands jittery and pink eyes darting everywhere but your face.

She bit her chapped lips as she watched each forkful you took of the dinner she painstakingly prepared, perfectly in time with every one of your own hesitant bites. You tried your best to hide your discomfort but god! She didn’t even try and pretend to eat her own food - so much so that her fork was scraping against the plate, making you wince with each screech of metal hitting ceramic.

The silence, offset by the incessant skrr of her scraping, was unnerving; usually, you had a hard time keeping track of all the topics she hurled at you at the dinner table, about an outside world you were long since disconnected from. Honestly, it felt like she did it on purpose, to get a rise out of you so she finally had a valid excuse to punish you, not like she needed one. You were experienced in how “hands on” she could be when putting you in your place and you shuddered at the thought.

You were just about to take your last bite, or maybe ask her about her day to clear the air - you didn’t know, your head was starting to fill with static and your fork wavered between the plate and your mouth before she beat you to the punch.

She sprang up from her chair with so much fervour it fell at her feet as she skipped over to where you were sat to wrap her arms around your shoulders and nuzzle into your neck.

What was up with her? Your fork was still hovering in mid-air and you raised an eyebrow, one she thankfully couldn’t see, at her antics. Sure, Jinx was…eccentric to say the least but this? This was strange even for someone like her.

“How ya feeling toots? M’hoping you liked dinner, put a looooot of effort into it, y’know. Just for you.”

Her muffled voice sounded sickeningly sweet and airy against the delicate skin of your neck causing you to bristle at the feeling. The arms around you tightened and her breathing sharpened; if you were anyone else, you wouldn’t have seen through her almost imperceptible tells but she’s had you for a while and being able reading Jinx like a book comes with the unwanted territory.

You forced yourself to relax and scoop the now cold food into your mouth as you audibly hummed your satisfaction to appease her ever-changing moods. There. This should calm her down.

“I’m good, thanks Jinx. The food is so delici-”

You couldn’t even finish your sentence as your hold on the cutlery suddenly weakened. You couldn’t even react as you watched, or rather heard seeing as your vision was fading in and out with each passing moment, your fork clatter to the ground. The noise was dulled down by whatever was wrong with you.

Your head was all stuffed up, like it was crammed to the brim with dozens of fluffy cotton balls. You tried to shake the feeling away but instead came down with a horrific case of vertigo that left your brain reeling and your eyes clenched shut. The corrugated sheet walls, covered in Jinx’s colourful, tell-tale graffiti and copious doodles of the two of you, seemed to close in on you as your world quickly began to spin. A shaky hand darted out to grip Jinx’s forearm in search of some form of stability, uncaring of who exactly you had to rely on in order to achieve it.

Jinx finally straightened up, still keeping you in her tight grasp, and one of her hands slipped to touch your forehead, tutting at what she found.

“You’re burning up toots, gotta get you to lie down.”

Hot. So fucking hot.

You hadn’t even realised until she’d pointed it out but she was right. Too preoccupied in the midst of your delirium to notice you felt so incredibly hot and the sensation had spread from the top of your head to each of your extremities; not a single inch of your body was spared from the onslaught of pure heat setting you ablaze from the inside out.

Jinx scooped up your limp body in her arms, she was more athletic than she seemed from years of carrying heavy explosives but it never failed to surprise you, and carried you over to the bed you shared. The fairy lights strung across the small room were so blurry they melted into a mess of light and the polaroid pictures she took of you, back before you knew of her existence and she was just a stalker, made you feel as though you were in some awful, twisted nightmare.

Perhaps you were coming down with a sudden fever and you would have to lie there and let her care for you, although begrudgingly. You expected her to run off in search of medicine, this was concerning even to you and she had freaked out over much less, but instead she lay down next to you, her hands going from caressing your hot face to exploring the dips and curves of your body.

Her hand was cool as it came down to rest on your thigh, seemingly penetrating through the layers you had put on and somehow branding your still-flaming skin. The hand not on your thigh inspected your face, prodding here and there and opening your drooping eyelids to inspect something.

The look of pure panic and anxiety you expected to be on her face was confusingly absent, replaced with an oddly lustful expression. Her cheeks were ruddy, her lips parted and shiny from where she kept wetting them with her tongue and her eyes…her eyes startled you. Jinx’s pupils were blown out and only a slight ring of pink was visible, your heart began to race as you realised something very bad and completely out of your control was unfolding.

“Huh,” your captor huffed out, face dangerously close to yours, “He sure did up the dosage…maybe a little too much…” Jinx’s voice trailed off but you could just about make out what she muttered under her breath. You found that you didn’t care enough to figure out what exactly she meant, the delirious state you were in decided that for you.

“Angel, you really don’t understand what you do to me, do ya?” her voice came out powder- soft like the snow you used to jump in and make snow angels in when you were younger. But you didn’t know if she was whispering or if your hearing really was that messed up.

Her blue flyaways tickled the side of your face as she bent down to give a tentative kiss to your neck. Then, she peeled off each layer of clothing stuck to your body with such an ease that it made you question if she’s done this to you before.

“J-Jinx? What’re you doing?” Your voice came out slurred and no matter how badly you wanted to push her away and run, your body simply refused to listen to the devastated wails of your brain. Right now, all you wanted was to reject her smothering hold but you lacked the energy to actually do anything substantial, even clenching your fist seemed to drain you even further.

She dismissed your worried question with a less than pleased shhh and placed several more gentle pecks down the column of your throat and as much as it pained you to admit, it felt good. More than good actually - it was orgasmic. Each touch of her lips she gave you seemed to douse the raging flames for a moment before reigniting them, causing them to burn brighter than they did before and you couldn’t help but keen and writhe at the utter torture you were going through.

She perked up at the strangled noise that forced its way out of you, eyes narrowing in mischief and her lips curling up into a cruel smile.

“I knew you’d like that!” You decided then and there you hated how decisive she sounded, as if she had your body and soul mapped out on the palm of her hand, as if she knew you better than you knew yourself. Her lips then kissed a trail from your neck to your navel, stopping to nibble and lick at the ticklish skin there and giggling at your minute squirms, “It got me thinking, toots, after our bath time - what else can little ol’ me get away with?” She whispered the last part against your soft skin, voice lost to your flesh and mind.

Before you can start to decode what exactly she meant, she gives your stomach a final kiss before yanking down the final layer separating you from what she do badly yearned for. And maybe what you now yearned for too.

You can barely hold your head up to watch her movements, instead settling for tilting your head to the side but even that had you feeling like a shimmer-sick addict.

“P-please…” your weak voice warbled out and clearly Jinx had taken pity on you. Fuck, you didn’t even know what you were begging for but you knew that you couldn’t go on like this for any longer.

She nodded sympathetically, eyes wide and blown out as she reached out to cradle your heavy head, proving that she didn’t really feel bad for you; that you knew even in this addled state of yours. Her lips met yours and her tongue darted out to bite at your bottom lip, her way of asking for entry. Her tongue in your mouth placated the almost painful arousal you felt, with Jinx fighting for dominance when you weren’t even putting up a fight, happy enough to sit there and take whatever she gives you.

Your vision was hazy but you could see and feel the string of saliva connecting you both - hell, Jinx looked just as fucked up as you felt. The impish Jinx you were accustomed to was gone and all that was left in her wake was a woman who would stop at nothing to keep you with her.

Your arms felt like lead and you couldn’t even reach out to smooth your sweaty hand against your captor’s arm. You just wanted assurance this was real, that you weren’t dreaming this up, that she would help you get better no matter what it cost you.

“It’s a shame you’re like this, would’ve been nice to feel your hands on me.” She lamented with a pout but she was quick to dismiss the thought as she looked down at your body, all pretty and sweet and worked up just for her. The wetness between your thighs seemed to shimmer at her, as if it was proof that all her patience was finally manifesting in her dream come true. She wiggled out of her tight pants and top, she didn’t want to waste what you lovingly presented to her on a silver platter, and made more of a show of slipping out of her underwear before getting to business.

Her lithe form oh so slowly slithered down the mattress until she was directly facing you soaking wet pussy. You didn’t have the time nor faculty to close your legs from her invasive gaze before she dove in head-first, slurping at the liquid ambrosia dripping from you.

You let out a shocked gasp, the only thing you can manage despite needing to let out a guttural, full body moan, not expecting her to do anything so soon. She continued in that manner, licking long stripes up your cunt and swirling her tongue around your clit until you were nothing but a useless puddle beneath her.

You felt your vision waver and everything faded to black as the static in your mind only grew stronger - and that’s when your orgasm hit you like a freight train. And yet, the fiery longing within you only stopped for a mere second before returning in its full glory, making you more desperate than you were before and you still had no idea what caused this.

The feeling was too much and you passed out as Jinx was still eating you out but when you came to she was now fingering you, wrist tense and three fingers pistoning in and out of you with rapid determination.

Out again.

Back again; she had one of your nipples in her mouth, rolling it against her tongue, as he caressed your sensitive clit, doing the same to herself.

Out again.

Back again; she was kissing the skin at your thighs and leaving bruising hickies that stained the upper half of your legs and although you knew you should be mad, protest, do anything, you just moaned in abject pleasure. She looked up from where she was stamping her ownership to see you staring and couldn’t help but slowly smile, before saying in her husky voice, “Gonna fuck you so good you’ll never think about leaving me ever again. Just stay awake long enough for it, y’hear?”

Out again.

You woke up again, unsure of how long it had been since you last passed out, and this time her scrawny arms were manoeuvring the dead weight of your body, guiding your hips to slot just underneath hers so she could take up all the work of visciously grinding against you. With each drag of her hip against yours, your clits bumped together and you groaned as loudly as your tired vocal cords could manage.

She leaned forwards, still grinding against you as the slick squelches echoed in the room, and grasped both of your tits in her hands. Her nails dug into the softness of your chest before fondling the crescent marks she left behind and twisting at your sore nipples, causing you to yelp and her to darkly chuckle.

You moaned once the pain ebbed away and found yourself mesmerised looking at Jinx’s face; the low light in the room cast deep shadows across her face and only seemed to accentuate the feral look in her eyes, the sensual way she bit her lip as she looked on at you - you needed more.

“Fuck, toots, don’t want this to ever end. You’re so good for me.” Jinx moaned out as one hand retreated in order to play with her own chest. Her head was flung back and you watched, entranced, when her long braids fell to the floor and at the same time, the pale expanse of her throat was exposed to you. How badly you wanted to sink your teeth in and bite.

It was odd to see Jinx so vulnerable in front of you and it only confused your addled mind further but instead you were made to focus on the carnal desires flowing through your veins and igniting your blood.

You didn’t know how it was possible to orgasm again after already having so many prior to this, but once again you felt that burning pressure build up inside of you like getting a jolt from an exposed live wire. It bubbled up in the tips of your toes and shot up your spine, your weak body overwhelmed by the rapture Jinx had caused within you. Clearly she wasn’t unaffected by your display as her own high pitched moans and grunts reached your eyes and the grinding of her hips sped up so you both could ride out your highs together, hand in hand.

You couldn’t stop the falling tears as the torment from the past few hours finally died down at last and you could close your eyes for the last time that night and rest.

Once Jinx’s own orgasm slowly faded away into residual jolts of pleasure and then nothingness, she disentangled her trembling legs from yours and spooned your sleeping body, covering up your naked bodies with the blanket all whilst panting out of exhaustion.

“Nighty night, sweets.” Jinx waited until your breathing finally started to equalise, not that it was really necessary; you were so drugged out you probably wouldn’t remember this tomorrow, never mind wake up.

Then, she turned away and fumbled around in the crate next to the bed she used for storage and located the vial, smooth and cool and safe in her hands. Sure, she was upset your first time the way she intended it to happen was stolen from her, she could blame Singed and his inability to do things in moderation, but still she could sleep at night knowing she got to share such a special moment with you.

masterlist

#jinx x reader #yandere jinx x reader #yandere jinx #jinx #arcane #arcane fanfic #yandere #arcane x reader #arcane jinx #toxic jinx #toxic jinx x reader #request

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levis-poison-is-my-medicine · 3 days ago

Text

Dreams Don't Lie

(The Tea Lovers Pt. 10)

A Levi x reader fanfic

Crossposted from AO3

It all started with a silly dream. How could it get this out of control?

tags: fluff and humor, silly and sweet, tea-obsessed fem!reader with their head in the clouds (word count: 4.1k)

(Part one) / (Levi x reader Masterlist)

"I know your deepest, darkest secret."

You spun around, trying to pinpoint the source of the voice which had suddenly spoken behind you. But all you found was a cat lounging in the doorway, looking up at you with a sullenly bored expression.

"Nice try. But I don't have any," you replied, slightly bemused. It was true – there was no point in having secrets when you sucked at keeping them.

The cat's tail twitched impatiently. "Oh, but you do. It is a secret so clandestine, so private, that not even you know about it."

"A secret that I don't know about? And what would that be?" You challenged, your tone skeptical. It didn't even make any sense.

The cat took its sweet time before answering, thoroughly licking its paw as if to savor the moment. Then it locked eyes with you. "There's something you love more than tea."

You gasped, horrified. "Take that back!"

"Why should I? You know it's true." The cat looked thoroughly unimpressed by the accusing finger you had jabbed in its direction. "As a matter of fact, it's been true for a while now."

You frantically shook your head, trying to erase the words from your mind. But they kept replaying, growing louder and louder each time, until they melded together in a deafening choir, all chanting the same few words: "There's something you love more than tea."

With a start, you jolted awake, bathed in cold sweat. A wave of relief washed over you when you realized you were safely tucked in your bed, and it had all been nothing more than a stupid dream. You shook your head again. "How absurd," you mumbled. How absolutely, completely, utterly ridiculous. Tea had been there for you when no one else had. It had gotten you through your darkest hours. How could anything possibly hold a candle to that?

But a little bit of doubt remained, gnawing at you. After all, dreams were the royal road to the unconscious, and all that. Maybe your subconscious was trying to tell you something. But what? That you were secretly a coffee person? You shuddered at the thought. How blasphemous.

It was probably just a dream. Still, you were too shaken to fall back asleep, so you got up to brew yourself a nice, hot cup of tea.

When you came back in, your roommates were already awake, getting dressed and ready for the day.

"How come you're up so early?" Nanaba asked in astonishment. You usually slept right through the early morning hustle and bustle, only getting up at the last possible minute.

"It's nothing. Just a bad dream," you replied offhandedly and settled back down on the lower bunk of the bunk bed you shared with Nifa, cradling the steaming cup of tea in your hands.

"Oh yeah? What was it about?" Nanaba inquired.

You sighed. "I don't really know. It was all pretty confusing."

Nanaba gave a brief nod, sensing you weren't too eager to talk about it. She slipped on her uniform jacket and headed for the door.

Without thinking, you blurted out, "What do you love the most?"

Nanaba stopped with her hand on the door handle. She turned around, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"I–" she began, but Lynne was faster.

"Mike, of course," she snickered.

Nanaba shot her a dirty look, but then begrudgingly conceded, "…You're probably right about that."

"Ha! I know you so well. I may not understand your infatuation with that glorified sniffer dog, but I sure know you."

Nanaba just rolled her eyes at Lynne's playful jab.

"What were you going to say?" You asked Nanaba, still curious.

"Honestly? I don't know. Most likely something different, like my family."

You gave her a puzzled look. "How come?"

Nanaba shrugged. "Sometimes these sort of things can be hard to admit. Other people might even know you better than you know yourself at times."

You turned your cup of tea in your hands, trying to make sense of her answer. "How could someone else know you better than yourself?"

"Well," Nifa chimed in, "sometimes it's easier to see things from a distance. Plus, we tend to lie to ourselves – say the "right" thing instead of the true thing. Like... there's something within us that holds us back from saying what we really feel. Others don't have that barrier."

You nodded thoughtfully, understanding what she meant.

"And what do you love the most?" Lynne asked, a teasing grin on her lips as she dropped down next to you on the bed.

"Tea," you replied without missing a beat.

Lynne snorted out a laugh. "Of course. Why did I even ask?"

But a flicker of doubt remained.

– –

The thought lingered in the back of your mind even during the scout's daily training session. Today, your squad had been assigned to Titan combat training in the woods alongside squad Levi – usually your favorite type of drill. But this time, your mind just wasn't in it.

You halfheartedly slashed at the nape of the wooden Titan dummy in front of you, barely even leaving a mark as you passed it, shooting forward among the trees.

"What the hell was that? That wasn't even a scratch!" Oluo shouted from a nearby tree.

"Huh?“ You hadn't even noticed, too deep in thought to really pay any attention to your surroundings.

"Off your game today?" Petra asked as she zipped past you.

You looked after her with a blank expression, watching as her green cape fluttered after her in the rush of air before it disappeared among the leaves. You couldn't help but wonder: what did Petra love the most? And did she even truly know what it was?

The green canopy blurred around you as you picked up speed, the gas hissing as you pressed down on the trigger. You absentmindedly shot the grappling hooks into another tree, propelling you forward with a jolt.

A Titan dummy sprang into your vision, looming over you like a sudden shadow – too close, and getting closer still. Adrenaline surged through your veins, jerking you away from your daydreams. You twisted to the side to change your trajectory, but it was too late. The hard wood scraped against the side of your body as you veered right. There was a snap, and a sharp, searing pain shot through your shoulder. All strength left your am. You dropped the trigger. Then the world spun out of control.

You were falling, upended, the air screaming in your ears as you barely whipped past a tree. Desperate to regain your balance, you pushed the remaining trigger, releasing the hook you still had control over. In an instant, you were yanked sideways. Branches scratched over your arms and face as you were swept through the underwood.

Then – a sudden lurch. Your downward plunge came to an abrupt stop as the wire of the remaining grappling hook was pulled taut. It made you swing back and forth violently, scraping your skin against the bark of the tree it was attached to, but you were still suspended in the air.

Upside down, swinging like a pendulum. But still.

The muscles in your abdomen strained as you fought to get back into an upright position. But hanging only by one wire, it was impossible.

"Shouldn't have had that dessert earlier," you mumbled to yourself. All that swinging wouldn't have been easy on an empty stomach, let alone one currently doing a headstand. You really needed to come up with a solution, but the blood rushing to your head didn't exactly help.

"Here goes nothing."

You tried to angle your hip upwards into the right direction, then tapped the remaining trigger lightly, sending the second grappling hook shooting toward the nearest trunk. The hook caught, and you were jerked to the side – the swinging finally stopped.

With two wires holding you, you managed to right yourself straightaway.

Now that you had your balance back, it should be easy – you just had to grab the other trigger currently dangling from your left hip, and you'd be back in the game. But as you tried to reach for it, nothing happened. Your left arm refused to obey, hanging limply by your side like a dead weight, useless. You couldn't move it, couldn't grip.

You were stuck.

Without the trigger, there was no way of releasing the left grappling hook. And if you released the right hook again, you'd just go back to swinging back and forth like a giant pocket watch, tethered to a tree for all eternity.

This was embarrassing.

"Um... Help? Is anybody out there?"

No response. You sighed. Screw your dignity. You needed to be out of here by teatime.

With your right hand, you fumbled for one of the signal flares. For training, it was loaded with a purple shell for emergencies. You held it above your head and pulled the trigger, watching the purple plume of smoke erupt into the canopy above.

On second thought, maybe you should go back to swaying between the trees bottom-side-up. If you kept it up long enough, you might pass out, and then you wouldn't have to be awake for the mortifying rescue.

A fully trained soldier. Injured by a titan made from wood. During a routine training session. You would never live it down.

It wasn't long before you heard the familiar high-pitched sound of the wires whizzing through the air, the sharp hiss of the gas indicating someone going at full speed.

You squeezed your eyes shut, bracing for the inevitable laughter and mockery of your pitiable state. But it never came.

Instead, there was a warm hand, expertly palpating your injured arm which still dangled uselessly from your side.

"It's dislocated," someone said flatly. You would recognize that voice anywhere.

"Levi," you exhaled, suddenly full of relief. Everything would be alright now.

You opened your eyes to find his face only inches away from yours, studying it with a frown. He raised his hand as though he was going to touch your face, but stopped short, frozen in mid air. "You're all scratched up." His voice was quiet, almost a whisper, and it sounded strange somehow, too rough around the edges.

"It's nothing," you replied quickly. "Just a few cuts."

"It's not nothing," he said.

There was something in the intensity of his stare that made your face heat up. Or maybe it was still warm from your upside down escapades. You cleared your throat. "Can you help me get away from here? I'm kind of stuck."

Levi slowly lowered his hand, his gaze drifting away. "Press the right trigger." His hand grasped the other one.

"Now?"

"Now."

You pressed down on it, hard, and for a split second, you were falling, but then a strong hand gripped you, sweeping you out of mid-air. Your world turned upside down once again as you were swung over his shoulder. Next thing you knew, you dangled awkwardly over his back, your face brushing against his green cloak.

"Hold on if you can," Levi said firmly. Your fingers closed around the fabric of the cloak, gripping it tightly. Through it, you could feel the straps of his uniform at his upper back, and you held onto them with your good arm, steadying yourself as best as you could.

The air rushed past you as Levi darted through the forest, expertly changing the hand securing your legs every so often to allow him to shoot both hooks.

The uneven weight distribution didn't seem to bother him at all. That was Levi for you.

"You truly are the best," you told him, but it came out muffled from the cloak fluttering into your face every so often. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Levi didn't reply, but you could feel the muscles in his back tensing through the fabric. He had a lot of them.

Your heart was fluttering in your chest and you felt a bit dizzy. It was probably because you were flipped over again. And of course, your upturned brain chose this exact moment to make you think of your dream again.

There's something you love more than tea.

But before you could give it more thought, the wind around you died down, and Levi's feet touched down on the ground with a soft thud.

You had reached the edge of the forest.

Levi started walking, your body still draped over his shoulder, legs dangling over his chest.

"Um, you can let me down now. My legs are fine, I can walk," you said, a little flustered.

"You sure?" He sounded like he was frowning again.

"Yep. I'm positive."

Levi stopped and bent at the knees, carefully easing you down from his shoulder until your feet found solid ground again. You placed your good arm on his shoulder to support yourself against him, shifting to a more upright stance. When you looked up, you realized how close you were to him, your chest pressed to his, your noses almost touching. Somehow, you couldn't meet his gaze, but you didn't move away. You felt his heart beat against yours, rapid and wild.

Maybe it had been strenuous to carry you, after all. He'd made it seem so easy.

"Thank you," you murmured. "For rescuing me. And... " You trailed off. Your hand was still on his shoulder. You squeezed it. "I'm sorry for causing you trouble like that."

"Like I'm not used to it by now," he muttered. "We'll talk about this later. Let's get you treated first."

You nodded, finally meeting his eyes, relieved to find no trace of anger in them. There was something else there, something you couldn't place, but it made your chest overflow with warmth, and you suddenly felt like giving him a hug. So you did. You were so close already, all you had to do was wrap your good arm around him.

You felt the muscles in his back tense under your fingertips. They had to be sore from carrying you. You rubbed them gently until they relaxed into your touch.

"I'm so glad you saved me!" You beamed. There was so much gratitude inside you, you didn't know what to do with it. "Thank you so much, I mean it! And while we're being honest, I was starting to feel a bit scared up there. But when you showed up, I knew everything was gonna be just fine."

"Don't be stupid. You don't know that yet," Levi muttered. "You still have to get your arm examined."

"I know, I know." You gave his back a final pat before you stepped back.

Levi was staring at you with his usual non-expression, his gaze lingering on you even as you started walking to where you'd left the horses.

He was silent the entire way, letting you ramble on about your dreams of becoming a porcelain potter should the threat of the Titans ever be purged from this world.

That silence was abruptly broken the moment you tried to climb on your horse. "No."

You turned around, confused. "No?"

"I'm not letting you ride one-handed."

"Oh come on," you protested. "Have you seen me ride? I could do it free-handed! Besides, Jeanie and I are the best of friends!" You gave the horse's neck a rub.

"This is final," Levi said tersely.

"Fine, if you insist." You took Jeanie's reins. "That's gonna be one hell of a walk."

"We won't walk. You can ride with me."

You shot him a surprised look. "You serious?"

"It's safer that way." His voice was calm, reasonable.

You shrugged. "If you say so."

He made you sit in front of him, your back pressed against his chest, his arms on either side of you. It certainly made you feel safe. But as you calmed down, the pain in your left arm grew stronger, settling into a constant, deep ache that was hard to ignore. The pain sharpened in time with each stride of the horse, making your teeth clench against the waves of discomfort.

Levi seemed to sense your distress. "You're in pain," he noted. It wasn't a question.

"Kinda... getting worse," you gritted out.

You felt his hand on your shoulder, steadying you. "Almost there," he said.

By the time you got back to scout's headquarters, you were ready to have your arm sawed off if that would stop the pain.

Thankfully, the medic had a less drastic plan in mind.

"I'm going to reset your shoulder to get it back into its proper position. It won't be pleasant, but afterwards, it will feel much better."

"Sounds good," you exhaled. "Let's get it over with as quickly as possible."

The medic nodded. "Of course."

She pulled your arm slightly away from your body, her hands firm and steady. The pain spiked, intense enough to make your breath catch. You peered at Levi, who was leaning against the wall of the examination room, his eyes fixed on you. He gave you an almost imperceptible nod, as if to encourage you. You nodded back, silently signaling that you were ready.

With a sudden movement, the medic rotated your arm, making the joint slide back into its socket with an audible pop. A sharp, searing pain shot through your shoulder, making you gasp, but then it faded, leaving behind a sore, tender feeling which was much more bearable.

"You'll need to rest your arm for about two weeks. I'll get you a sling to help keep it immobilized during that time." The medic opened one of the cabinets, perusing its contents for the sling.

Levi pushed himself off the wall and stepped closer. "You alright?"

"Much better," you said with a smile.

He nodded, letting out a soft breath.

The medic returned to help you put on the sling, carefully tying it behind your neck.

"There, all done." She smiled.

"Yay! Just in time for tea."

"There's not gonna be any teatime today." Levi's tone was sharp.

You looked at him with wide eyes. "What? Why not?" You could really use some tea right now. There was still a dull ache in your shoulder, and now that the initial shock had worn off, you could feel the bruises throbbing on your left side where it had scraped against the wooden Titan.

"You're gonna tell me exactly how this could happen." Levi's arms were crossed as he scrutinized you, his eyes narrowed.

"What happened was…I almost flew straight into a training dummy." You scratched your head sheepishly. "I managed to avoid it at the last minute, but I still scraped it."

"Why?"

"I was distracted."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Distracted by what?"

"I had this strange dream last night, there was this talking cat, and–"

"It doesn't matter," he cut you off. "You don't get to be distracted. If that had been a real titan, you'd be dead."

You nodded. "I know."

"Even in this scenario, you still could've died. Slamming into a wooden wall at the speeds we're moving? If you hadn't dodged–"

"I know that," you said quickly. "It was stupid. Incredibly stupid. It won't happen again. I promise."

For only a brief second, his gaze met yours, brushing you so softly and lightly, it felt like a caress. Then his face hardened. "I don't know if you can. If things like that happen to you during training, maybe you shouldn't be with us on the next expedition."

You stared at him, shocked. "You don't mean that. I've always been nothing but focused during missions. The reason this happened was because it was just training, so I underestimated the danger. It was a mistake. I admit that. But it won't happen again."

"Tell this to Erwin," Levi said curtly. He turned to leave. "You will submit a report about this. So will I. He'll decide from here on. I trust him to make the right call."

The exchange left you frozen in place, stunned.

Going on expeditions was a scout's purpose. Why would he take that away from you?

You shook your head. There was no way you were going to let that happen. You'd talk to Erwin, of course. But first, you had to clear your head. Levi was right: as a scout, you couldn't afford to be distracted. That stupid, silly dream which, for some reason, just didn't let you go – you had to get it out of your mind. It was why you'd ended up in this mess in the first place, taking up space in your thoughts when you should have been focused.

But how? Just turning it over in your mind had done nothing but make it worse. That was when the conversation from this morning popped into your head.

Sometimes it's easier to see things from a distance. Other people might even know you better than you know yourself at times.

You straightened up. Time to ask your favorite scientist for advice.

– –

You entered the lab. It always had a sort of singed smell about it, like something was burning, and today was no exception. The stains on the wall told you there might have been a minor explosion or two.

"Hey-yo!" Hange greeted you with a massive grin on their face, seemingly unbothered by the mess in their lab. As always, it was contagious, and you felt yourself smiling despite yourself.

"To what do I owe the honor?" They put down the beaker they were holding to give you their full attention. When their gaze landed on your sling, they shot you a questioning look, but quickly you waved it off. Later.

"Hange," you began, then hesitated. You took a deep breath. "Do you… Do you think there's something I love more than tea?"

Hange's grin widened. "Something… Or someone?"

You groaned. "Stop it. I'm serious here!"

"So am I. Dead serious, actually." They laughed heartily. "I genuinely think you might be onto something there."

"What do you mean?" You asked curiously.

"Well," they said in a long, drawn out way. "That's for you to figure out. Though I can certainly help, if that's what you want." There was a spark of mischief in their eyes.

"Yep, I definitely want that," you said eagerly. "That's why I'm here."

"Great!" Hange clapped their hands together and leaned forward excitedly.

"Let me start by asking you this: what have you done in your free time these past few months?"

You mulled it over for a few moments. "I guess I've been drawing a lot. Why?"

"That's a very good question! Why, indeed – why have you been drawing so much?"

You shrugged. "It was a good source of income. I needed the extra money."

"And for what, exactly?"

You tilted your head, unsure what Hange was getting at. "To buy Levi the perfect present for his birthday. You know that."

Hange smiled, satisfied. "Oh, you know I do."

You squinted at them, confusion etched into your features.

"Now answer me this: how have you been spending your beloved teatime recently?" They continued, gleefully unfazed by your puzzlement.

"I've been having tea together with Levi…?"

"Exactly!" Hange exclaimed, excitedly pumping her fist into the air.

"Yaay," you said, grinning at her enthusiasm, though you still didn't quite get it. "And that's interesting because…?"

"Don't worry, it should soon become crystal clear! You see, science is all about gathering knowledge and making observations, which in turn build up the basis of an hypothesis. Before we can call this hypothesis a fact, however, it has to be proven by running experiments. So let's do a little thought experiment, shall we?" Hange rubbed their hands in anticipation. There were burn holes in the sleeves of their lab coat.

"Let's imagine there's a giant fire ravaging our sacred headquarters. Can you do that for me?" You nodded. You could also easily imagine who would be at fault for the fire.

"You and Levi are the last people inside, the rest have already evacuated. Which one do you save – Levi or your treasured tea?"

You scrunched up your nose. "That's easy. Levi doesn't need saving."

"Sorry to say, but in this scenario, he absolutely does. Poor guy is passed out due to all the smoke. So which one will it be? You can only save one."

"That's so unrealistic," you protested.

"Just humor me here."

You threw up your hands in mock surrender. "Fine. I'd save Levi, of course."

A face-splitting grin spread over Hange's features. "There you have your answer. You chose him over your prized tea, didn't you?"

Your eyes widened as the realization sunk in. The thing, no – the person you loved more than tea was...Levi.

You loved Levi.

A/n: Yes, it needed a Freudian cat dream and a near-death-experience, where you were literally only hanging by a thread, to get it through your thick skull that you are head over heels for that man :D (or should I say: head over shoulders? By which I of course mean Levi’s strong shoulders xD OK. I’m going to stop now.) Stay tuned for next chapter if you want to know the consequences of your realization xD

Tag list: @thechaoticarchivist, @mmm-alhaitham, @nironasaran, @leviiheichou, @huffleruffplant, @shutupp1, @iifrui, @shakysif, @ickearmn, @omlyurslvi

#levi ackerman #levi #aot #levi x reader #levi aot #captain levi #attack on titan #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi x y/n #snk levi #shingeki no kyojin #snk #levi fluff #fluff #fanfic #fanfiction

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hotvintagepoll · 13 hours ago

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LAST POLL OF ROUND 3

Judy Garland and Gene Kelly (The Pirate, Summer Stock)—Judy Garland and Gene Kelly!! Their chemistry was out of this world. Every time I see them onscreen together, they make me so happy...whether it's complicate showmance of For Me and My Gal, the out-of-this-world sexiness of The Pirate, or the slow-burn romance of Summer Stock, they will always be one of my favorite movie couples!

Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce (The Sherlock Holmes films)—This is one where I'll have to bend the definition of a romantic couple but in the two movies I can think of, The Adventures of Sherlock Homes (1939) and The Woman in Green (1945) they have scenes together that would have absolutely been romantic had the two onscreen been hetero. Sherlock repeatedly tells Watson how much he means to him, even letting Moriarity escape once because he believed Watson was held hostage. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

This is round 3 of a mini tournament. Each poll lasts for three days. If you'd like to send additional propaganda supporting your favorite hot couple, you can reblog this post with your propaganda added, send it to my asks, or tag me in it. To vote in all the polls, click here. Happy holidays!

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Gene and Judy:

They were really good friends IRL, he made his film debut in For Me And My Gal and said she taught him all about movie acting, years later he did Summer Stock to support her during her struggles with MGM. We stan a mutually supportive pair. Honestly, name a hotter power couple than Classic Hollywood's greatest dancer and greatest singer, I'll wait.

youtube

Bruce and Rathbone:

this gifset

#nigel bruce #basil rathbone #judy garland #gene kelly #hotvintagepoll #hot couples tourney #Youtube

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littleeyesofpallas · 3 days ago

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Are Kyoraku's game abilities actually based on real Japanese children games? I only know about the Daruma one.

Sorry i put this off so long, i kept meaning to go dig up the old anime episodes to see if the anime added or changed anything, but never did. I'm just leaning on the fan wikia to take inventory and trusting they didn't overlook anything...

Bushogoma[不精独楽]: "Lazy SpinningTop" is the type of spinning top toy you usually see in Japan, where you wind a bit of string around the top to use like a rip chord to send it spinning; as opposed to the sort you'd spin by hand or something.

(It's similar to the beigoma tops that Beyblades are based on.)

(Oh a good thing to note here is that in the japanese version of the game we generally refer to as "tag" as well as the "it" role in it is called "oni" as in a demon/ogre. So the term in all the associated "XYZ-Oni" attacks could functionally just be translated as "XYZ-Tag")

TakaOni[嶄鬼]: "(High/Steep)Mountain Tag" is a play on takaoni[高鬼]: "High(up) Tag" a variation of tag where the tagger must be at even or higher elevation than the person they're tagging. i.e. players higher up than the tagger are considered safe. The "taka" is also a homonym with taka[鷹]: "hawk/falcon" and seems to be a play on how hawks hunt by diving at their prey, meaning they have a blind spot above them.

KageOni[影鬼] "Shadow Tag" is a variation of tag where instead of tagging the person themselves, whoever is "it" has to touch their shadow to tag them out.

IroOni[艶鬼]: "colorful/lustrous oni" is actually a pun on irooni[色鬼]: "Color Tag." Unlike in the manga the rule is usually that once a color is declared, touching anything of that color is considered "safe," so each round is a matter of chasing down players until everyone is either out or safe, then declaring a new target color.

Daruma-san ga koronda[だるまさんがころんだ] got the most attention I think of the whole line up and is the Japanese name for what I think it most commonly called "Red Light, Green Light" in English.

(Pretty notably the manga Kami-sama no Iu Touri[神さまの言うとおり] aka As The Gods Will used it as the first big game in their death game series, with a literal Japanese daruma doll. It's also what Squid Game stole its first game plot from, beat for beat.)

Kageokuri[影送り]: "Shadow send(off)" i don't know that this is really a "game" but it's when you stare at your shadow on the ground for a bit then up at the sky and can see your shadow's afterimage.

BBS adds Yubikiri[指斬り]: lit."finger beheading" as in to cut off the "head" of a finger. It's what we'd call a "pinky promise" in English, the idea being that you've sworn to keep whatever promise at the cost of cutting off your pinky if you aren't faithful to it.

...as well as Kagome kagome[囲召籠目]: "encircled basket eye" a pun on[籠目籠目]: "basket eye, basket eye." Children hold hands in a circle with an oni/it in the middle, they dance around in said circle singing while the center child keeps their eyes close, and when the song ends the oni/it has to guess who is directly behind them. The tune of the song that goes with it is extremely recognizable.

Some of the old videogames had original techniques but those were largely made before any of his actual powers were revealed so they're mostly just like wind elemental attacks and don't contribute to the theme.(ugh... goddamnit now that i went and looked for it i realize there's like zero info around most of those old games and it makes me want to download emulator files for them all and look up all their move lists... i dont want to actually do all that tho...)

Honestly I'm surprised Katen and Kyokotsu didn't have any anime original abilities in the filler arc or something...

They do have a BBS card with the move Utage-no-Ikkyou[宴の一興]: "Amusement/(Brief)Entertainment of (a) Feast/Party" which isn't really a game of any sort. at least not specifically. It would refer to something like a bit of song and dance interlude at a feudal era banquet. Admittedly a clever intersection of Katen and Kyokotsu's differing types of play -children's game vs adult entertainment.

#bleach #bleach meta #shunsui kyoraku #katen kyokotsu #oh hey found that missing post #i guess when it sent it to drafts #it acted like i had drafted it back when the ask was first sent?#so it instantly buried it like 100 posts deep

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mcrololo · 1 day ago

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Bechloe fic recs

(in no particular order)

You Make Me Believe In Magic by @shikariix

In the opening stood a woman with a tiny frame, bending forward slightly and breathing heavily. The light pouring in from behind her made it hard to see just how dirty and scratched up her clothing was. “Hey, uh,” she started loudly, still panting, “not to freak anyone out or whatever, but there's kind of a dragon on the loose. You all gotta evacuate.”

What can I say? It's got magic, it's got dragons, it's got gay flirting AND a kick-ass moodboard that inspired the whole shebang. Exactly up my alley, and if you said 'hell yeah Rolo, me too!' then what are you waiting for!! (nudges the author to write the soft epilogue i so truly desire) (in the meantime also read this new years one-shot & also this incredible piece of writing by my love and heart)

All is fair in Love and War by @pulledpurplecurtains

It's not about having feelings. It's about what you do with them. There's never a choice where the heart is concerned. The mind, however…the mind always comes up with choices. And sometimes life tends to happen as well.

Honestly I'm due for a reread of this but I remember immensely enjoying this fic. I certainly had a blast getting the go ahead to analyze it, almost as much as Ana probably had writing it! They're in high school, they're in gay love & also they are idiots. What else would you need?

"Something angsty, Rolo," you might say. And boy do I have the fic for you by the same author! (read the tags, be mindful of the warnings)

it takes two (to be santa claus) by @becasbelt

With their marriage on the brink of divorce, Beca and Chloe vow to do whatever it takes to give their daughter one last perfect Christmas- even if it means tracking down a rare American Girl doll two weeks before Christmas.

I know I already recommended this the other day but I just... It's so fucking good. I don't have words. Actually I do, go read it y'all (and when you're done then also read the cream in my coffee by the same author because I'm also still thinking about that one.

i think (s)he knows by @pinkpastels113

The Starbucks espresso machine broke again and Chloe is supposed to be taking care of everything, but the mechanic who showed up to fix it is making her job more difficult than it already was.

I forgot how much I love me a coffeeshop AU until I read this one. I don't often see flustered Chloe Beale in fic but here it's so blatant and I adore it so much!! I need more flustered Chloe Beale in my life pls (also go read this one too it's so fun!)

All I Ask of You by @kailoraurelius

From day one, Beca has always been there for her. If Chloe can count on anything, it's Beca. So now, pacing her kitchen anxiously, she waits for Beca to show up. Chloe has something very important to tell her…

Listen, Stained Glass will always have a special place in my heart, but I think AIAOY actually knocked it off its place because the found family characterization in this one just HITS. It's off the charts!! It's got everything; love, humor, and me on the floor crying (positive!) tears because the writing is so so beautifully descriptive.

naked in manhattan by @afh48

"Hi, it's Chloe! I know you just landed, and I know you're probably busy. But I would love to see you! So call me when you can!"

From the first chapter onwards I was HOOKED. I love experimental works and what is a first ever fic if not finding your writers voice? I enjoyed the journey of unlearning internalized homophobia; of characters clearly making decisions that were bad for them because of fear. But the fluff is the sweet, sweet cherry on top!

those days turned into nights by hedaswolf (the baddestwolf)

Beca kisses Chloe in the heat of the moment after winning Worlds. Of course, she proceeds to avoid the topic altogether. You can imagine Chloe’s surprise when Beca suggests they change their flights so they can drive to Stockholm in search of Swedish Princess Cake. But how long can Chloe go without bringing up the kiss? or, the Denmark to Sweden roadtrip fic that no one asked for

I swooned reading this. It's romantic, it's funny, it's angsty because they're pining idiots.... On top of that it's in 2nd pov and I LOVE 2nd pov <3

Life on Shuffle by @yelena-belover

“I know you don’t know me, Beca. But I’ve basically known you my whole life.” Bechloe // The Time Traveler's Wife AU -- Beca Mitchell suffers from Chrono-Impairment, a rare genetic disorder that causes her to spontaneously and uncontrollably time travel. Living life out of order isn't easy for Beca, and it's just as hard for Chloe, who struggles to cope with her frequent, often dangerous absences.

Chapter 8 and 11 shattered me in all possible ways. The way this fic weaves the timeline together so seamlessly... Time fuckery is hard to write, and it needs to be done right in order to feel satisfying; though still an ongoing fic, this one does it so masterfully that it scratched all of my itches as is.

Forgive Me These November Days by @obstinate-questionings

Why Chloe Beale didn’t graduate—and why she finally did—as told through yearly celebrations of Thanksgiving.

This fic made me take the first step into loving myself. imho it's one of the best Chloe Beale character studies out there and I genuinely can not stop thinking about it. If you're having a rainy day and need a pick-me-up, I definitely recommend reading this!

#i. have to cut myself off lol it's getting a little long #might do another one soon!#pitch perfect #bechloe #bechloe fic rec #rolo posts #is this how you do fic recs idk

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arcanegifs · 2 days ago

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Three ABO CaitVi fics that I've recently read

Do mind the tags of these fics. And once again, if you don't like it, don't interact and don't harass people over free fanworks you don't enjoy. Be a decent person ffs. Without further ado...

Very Good Friends by SunsetSharkbite | tumblr

Gotta start with the fic that made me go, "Oh. I get why people enjoy this trope now." Also the "and they were roommates" trope??? "Best friends who have never crossed the line" trope???? MMMMM I LOVE THE DRAMA.

All Bets Are Off by Vraila45

What a oneshot! Ooooooo lala. It is literally porn. I don't know what else to say LMFAOOOOO. It's so good! Please do read it if you don't have time to read longer fics.

In the Family Way by whatapictureisworth | tumblr

Ah another exes fic. I've become so predictable no? Haha. Anyway, so I personally prefer Alpha!Vi, but, but but. Listen you guys. Listen. This fic??? This fic???? It's amazing. It opened my eyes on Omega!Vi x Alpha!Cait. Just gah, so beautifully written. Them having an amicable breakup and then they meet again and OH OH OH. ALL THE YEARNING AND ALL THE FEELINGS COMING BACK? DELISH. There's not much updates to this, but honestly, I was pretty happy with the fic, even if it wasn't finished. Please do read it ❤️

Three CaitVi fics I've read over the holigays

be but sworn my love (E) by antant616

This fic is literally the trope of: slow burn but they're fucking the entire time. Also, CaitVi here are exes who are forced to play Romeo and Juliet in a play and ooooo the drama! I'm HOOKED.

Dear Stranger, (T) by becasbelt | tumblr

If you want to cry, read this. Absolutely beautiful canon-compliant fic. And for real, just read all of Anne's works. They're amazing ❤️

lucid dreams ‘bout you (M) by rosetattoos

Oh GOD I've never been so happy to see an update for a fic before. The last time this librarian!cait fic updated was like two years ago, and I gave up waiting for it. But lo and behold, what a GIFT for the holidays!!

#caitvi #fic recs #abo #BE NICE TO THE AUTHORS AND GIVE THEM LOVE OKAY IF U ARE MEAN GOOD FUCKING BYE I WILL BLOCK YOUR ASS #dont be an asshole #i rlly wanna recc more but so far the format of this post is like THREE ____ so i recced the fics that ive read more than twice lol #am having a blast with doing less gifs and doing a lot of caitvi fic reading #sadly i still have too many read later fics LMAOOO goddddddddd we are so lucky #anyways these just reinforce my brainrot for them thank u fic authors

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lunaroserites · 14 hours ago

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What Couldn’t Be

Paring: Established Bucky X Fem!Reader (Sugar)

Summery: Just a snippet Sugar and Bucky. Part of the Sugar AU. Bucky has some pretty jarring thoughts about the future. Steve is a good friend. Bucky is absolutely smitten for Sugar. This is at the start of their relationship taking place before Too Sweet and Does Heaven Even Know You're Missing, and the Christmas Saga

Warnings: Bucky's POV, Talks of infertility (Male), Hydra, fluff, swearing, drinking, no use of Y/N, Not beta'd all mistakes are my own

This has been something I wanted to try writing about, I don't see many fics about Bucky being infertile, I feel Hydra would sterilize him, especially after that scene in TFATWS with Zemo.

Word Count: ~1000

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

Catch up with Bucky and Sugar: Read Too Sweet here and Does Heaven Even Know You’re Missing here

Part One of the Christmas Saga here, Part Two here

Tags: @hisredheadedgoddess28

Divider by @cafekitsune

Hydra had done a lot of shitty things to him in the 70 plus years they had control of him. Some worse than others, some that in the grand scheme of things didn’t really matter to him. Sterilization being at the bottom of the list of shitty things they did. They did it because they would sell his body for intel and they didn’t want any unhappy accidents coming from that.

It was at the bottom of the list because he honestly never thought he would have kids, never thought he’d find someone he would even dream of a future with. But here he was nursing a warm beer imagining owning a house upstate, a couple kids, Alpine and a dog all because he met you. His Sugar, the sweetest, kindest, drop dead gorgeous girl he was lucky enough to breathe the same air as. Who for some reason reciprocates those feelings.

He was brooding, stewing in his own self pity at the bar in the tower after they got back from a mission. Steve could sense something was off with his friend, but wasn’t quite sure how to approach the situation. A glass of Tony’s finest whiskey was laid down in front of Bucky and Steve sat beside him.

“Wanna tell me why you’re here nursing that warm piss water and not going home and crawling into bed with that sweet, pretty little thing that’s got you wrapped around her fingers,” Steve asked, sipping his own beer. Bucky’s phone buzzed as if in queue, you texted him wishing him a good night, telling him to be safe. He hadn’t told you he was back from his mission yet.

“Can’t face her right now,” Bucky said solemnly, Steve raised an eyebrow and waited for him to elaborate. Bucky sighed and tipped the whiskey back, the day before he left for the mission, you two had been out enjoying a peaceful afternoon when you passed a baby and me shop, you had stopped and went inside, saying you needed to get a birthday gift for your best friends daughter who was turning 3 in a few weeks. You looked so happy and couldn’t stop smiling, picking up little outfits, before moving on, you found this toy thing that your god daughter wanted and said you’d be the number one auntie for getting it for her.

Your family was also larger and you loved seeing your little cousins, watching them when you visited. He had seen pictures, and he saw how your face lit up when you would FaceTime them, or when you would see a baby in public, there was always a smile on your face. It killed him inside that he couldn’t give you a baby of your own that wasn’t at least half his. That earned sterilization a top spot on the list of shitty things Hydra did to him.

“I can’t give her a family, a baby,” Steve’s eyebrows shot up at his friend's confession. The two of you had only been dating a couple months, but Steve knew Bucky was dead serious on locking you down if you’d have him.

“Why not?” Steve asked, and the look Bucky gave him had his hands up in a placating manner. “Right, right,” Steve back tracked.

“They had to take more from me,” Bucky wallowed.

“Does she even want a baby of her own?” Steve, ever the pragmatic one, asked Bucky. Bucky looked at his friend, his brows furrowed.

“What young woman doesn’t?” Bucky regretted the words as they came out.

“A lot of new age gals don’t Buck, maybe she’s happy with just being an auntie,” Steve said. “Have you even asked her if she wants a baby in the future?” Bucky shook his head.

“But I see the way her face lights up when she sees one, how happy she is to take care of them,” Bucky’s voice was sad.

“She could just love kids, but might not want to have one of her own,” Steve reasoned. Bucky looked down at his hands and Steve clicked in on what was really bothering him. “You want one, with her,” Steve stated.

Bucky nodded, his grip tightening on the whiskey glass in his metal hand, “never thought I would, but here I am, wanting one.”

“Maybe Hydra stored some of your stuff before sterilizing you,” Steve said, Bucky looked at him like he was insane. “The government stored some of mine after the serum,” Steve’s cheeks flamed red, Bucky couldn’t help the laugh that left his lips.

“Good to know punk,” Bucky mused, finishing his beer.

“No, what I’m saying is, maybe Hydra stored some of yours for experimenting or some other fucked up shit,” Steve muttered, it was a long shot, but if it brought peace of mind to his friend he was willing to look into it. Bucky shook his head.

“I won’t get my hopes up,” but he did appreciate Steve for trying. “I really should talk to her,” he said and Steve nodded. Bucky sighed and picked up his phone, dialling your number. “Hey Sugar, I’m back,” Steve could hear the happy squeal that left your lips as you chattered to Bucky, asking him if he was coming back to his apartment tonight. You were there watching Alpine for him. Steve could see the look of contentment and affection wash over Bucky’s face and it made his heart happy that his friend was happy.

“I’ll be home soon Sugar, we’ll snuggle and eat some take away,” Bucky said softly, Steve was beaming at his friend and Bucky shot him a pitched look, mouthing ‘shut up.” Buvky hung up and sighed softly.

“Talk to her, figure it out before it’s too late,” Steve said softly.

“I’m afraid it is too late, I’m in love with her, god I want to give her the world, watch her walk through it beaming as sunshine does,” Bucky said, standing and grabbing his coat. “See ya later punk.”

Please let me know if you want more, have questions or thoughts about Sugar and Bucky.

Search the tag sugar!au on the blog to find anything relating to Sugar and Bucky!

#sugar!au #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes au #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x sugar #grumpy x sunshine

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allmightskitten · 2 days ago

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Dofcora nation today I discovered a Google doc from a long time ago of WIPs i had about them that I somehow managed to COMPLETELY forget about, and I have no idea HOW these ideas completely slipped from my mind because they are as wild as:

(🔞 ahead)

- not quite nsfw but still very nsfw rosi scar appreciation behaviour from doffy

- a fuck or die trope. How the hell did I forget about this one. some enemy devil fruit users manage to orchestrate this situation thinking ha, they can't get out of this because they're brothers so they won't fuck and they'll die but surprise surprise....

- voyeurism on the numancia ???? some random crewmember has the misfortune of finding out that the brothers are not very Brotherly but, also, they are kind of into it because they read too much porn ig, and my absolute favourite:

- cora and doffy's STRING PUPPET. YES, HE USES THE STRING PUPPET. (this was gonna be a gift for @sugarpsalms psst if you remember 👀 but we both got busy, so!)

I genuinely have no idea how I forgot these wip ideas. Like, I didn't even remember them when I was doing the WIP tagging game! Insane. Insane. I don't know if these will ever come to fruition now, but...y'know, I'd still love for them to exist somehow so honestly if anybody finds this list inspiring do feel free to do with it what you wish XDD

#donquixote doflamingo #donquixote rosinante #donquixote corazon #dofcora #doflacora #one piece fic #abandoned wip graveyard

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uncanny-tranny · 2 years ago

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Too often, humbleness and humility are conflated with downplaying everything about yourself, to make yourself stand out as little as possible, and to compartmentalize anything and everything that makes you you.

Humility and being humble are seen as a way to apologize for being, I've noticed. "Oh, I'm not a good singer or a good writer or that talented or or or..." it is a knee-jerk reaction, one that I think many people use to protect themselves from the hurt of being belittled for their talents or interests or appearance, or anything you may value.

My whole point in this post is that there is a huge difference between being humble and humiliating yourself before anybody has the chance to. I want to encourage people to reflect on how they view humbleness and how one might use humbleness to self-flagelate and punish themself for who they are. It is so hard to break this cycle, but you are worth the time and effort it takes to love and value who and what you are. Everything that makes you you is worth it.

#advice #i don't even know what to tag this as honestly #but it always makes me sad when you notice that somebody may just be trying to humiliate themself in the guise of being humble #and i don't want to assign any moral value to this because so many people genuinely want to hurt themself before others can #and i have found myself doing that too... how can you hurt me if i am already hurt?#how can you hurt me worse than i can?#but: do you deserve that hurt? do you truly deserve to be kicked down and then some? i truly truly doubt it #i just want to invite people to consider how they talk about themself and how it *may* impact how they treat themself #how you treat yourself is just as important as how other people treat you i believe

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sugarpopss · 10 months ago

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Running Sucks

Okay. So. This is very niche bc it takes place in the universe of @bucknastysbabe and I's chat where Bucky got rescued from HYDRA after falling and sent home, settled down w his sweetheart and got to be happy and safe and fat and work for the SSR. Then ALSO they found Steve he's fine and he and Peggy are fucking on the DL. Very much an 'everyone is fine bc it's happy' AU. Steve and Bucky go on runs together and have bestie time. There's just a lot of lore to know alright.

The thing about running is that it sort of sucks. Sure, it’s ‘good for you’ and ‘important to exercise’, but it sucks. That’s an opinion Bucky will stand by until the day he dies.

The thing about James Buchcanon Barnes in the spring of 1949 is that he wasn’t even that out of shape. He’d always had good stamina and going into the military didn’t hurt that. Besides, whatever they’d pumped him up with in Azzano-traumatic as the whole experience was-seemed to bolster his entire body. He didn’t need to know precisely how. The less time spent thinking about it, the better. The night terrors were calming down and that was good enough.

So no, Bucky did not have a negative opinion of running simply because he was out of shape.

And he liked parts of running! He liked being out and about in Brooklyn, he loved hanging out with Steve-especially since their lives had diverged a bit in post-war adulthood. Even if Bucky would’ve never imagined ‘hanging out with Steve’ constituting going on a run before the guy went and got himself shot up with whatever secret smoothie sent him into second puberty.

He liked jogging with his best friend and swapping banter and gossip with the easy comfort of childhood friendship and the understanding of forged in fire brotherhood. But by god, he hated how his thighs chafed like they were trying to start a fire. Bucky would absolutely admit to having put on a lot of weight since coming home-being full helped him sleep and his wife loved to bake, sue him. It didn’t usually bother him. Being fat felt like being safe, like his body was one hundred percent, absolutely his, even with the metal arm HYDRA had practically superglued onto him before he was rescued.

But the fucking chafing was something else. And it was the very worst while running. His thighs rubbed together and wore the inseam of his pants to threads, he could feel his entire body jiggle every time his feet hit the pavement, and the sweat that accumulated in the creases underneath his moobs or the overhang of his belly was less than comfortable.

And because Bucky was the man he was, and had pretty much settled into a happy, domestic life and the good days far outnumbered the bad, he was in the position to be needlessly dramatic. Just for fun. And for attention.

Which was why about two thirds of the way through the circuit they were running he stopped running and bent over, hand on his knees, and took several heaving breaths like a dying fish. It wasn’t entirely for show-he was out of breath-but he could’ve kept going for a few more minutes.

The dramatics had their intended effect, though. Steve stopped running and turned around, eyebrows raised.

“Come on, assclown. You can’t finish five miles?”

Bucky took another very deep breath and straightened, wearing the same smile that made girls in dance halls fall over themselves almost a decade ago. Not that he used it for that much anymore-he was a happily married man.

“Said I’d do two. Pretty damn sure I said I’d do two.”

Bucky had, in fact, said he’d only do two miles. He’d also gotten distracted talking to Steve and just kept running; he’d only noticed how far they’d gone when the friction burn on his inner thighs had become too irritating to ignore.

“Yeah, but you say that every time. I just tune it out.”

Steve smiled like he was holding back laughter when he said it, and Bucky laughed after he said it.

“Whatever, punk. We’re walking the rest.”

He slung his flesh arm around Steves shoulders, grinning. For all the moaning and groaning he did, Bucky did enjoy this time.

As they started walking-because they were going to walk the rest of the circuit. He was serious about that-he realized there was something he hadn’t asked Steve about in a while. Something incredibly important that he absolutely wasn’t just using to josh on his friend.

“Say, you asked Peg to move in with you yet?”

Steven Grant Rogers went bright pink.

#I don't even know what to tag this as honestly #Its tangentially related to feedism but not really feedism??#You could read the interplay as stucky but its not intended??#It's bucky fic but for a very specific audience #chubby bucky #thats what ive got

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royalarchivist · 5 days ago

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Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said– I was giving them an analogy.

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again.

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m–

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

#Badboyhalo #BBH #Bad #QSMP #January 8 2025 #Edited #I know folks are going to add their two cents on this subject in the tags / comments / replies (and as always you're welcome to do that)#But for the sake of my sanity please don't be an asshole to any of the CCs / ex-admins / fellow fans / anyone else. Thanks #Most folks here don't need a ''Don't be a dumbass'' reminder but I had to block someone for that earlier and it was a bit disappointing #This is going to be a Tumblr exclusive clip because I don't trust Twitter to have common sense or common decency about this topic #Tumblr exclusive #Anyways business aside – that black line on the side is just part of Bad's stream btw. He just Has That #Took too long for this to render otherwise I'd edit it out because it's annoying #I'm just realizing this screenshot doesn't even have Dapper OTL but it's the best one I have so I gotta work with what I got #Honestly; I still miss QSMP dearly... I love the core intent of the project and the multicultural exchange #I love all the language barriers that were broken and I loved all the stories that were told and watching beautiful friendships bloom #But I am still so angry and disappointed about how things ended and all the poor communication and the admin situation as a whole #It's a complicated feeling #I agree with pretty much everything Bad says here #It's ironic that he uses that analogy because I've said almost the exact same thing when explaining why losing any Egg was so devastating #We weren't just mourning for the characters. We were mourning for the admins too #I'll never forget that last stream with Tazercraft and Richas; and Pac ending stream in tears #I wish they'd done away with the Egg life system. I wish they'd done a lot of things differently #If the project ever does come back in some shape or form I hope they are more transparent about things and have better communication #I dunno how I'd feel personally. They would have to do a lot of work regaining people's trust #And frankly I don't think they'll ever regain that trust from a large portion of the community #I remember near the start of QSMP I saw a comment from a fan that simply said ''QSMP; please don't leave me feeling bitter''#I think about that comment a lot

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