#I don’t want to give it all away | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tsuchinokoroyale · 11 months ago

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Happy new years… let’s stay hydrated together ✨

#I didn’t end up going to the rave just stayed in with my buddies and had KFC (( Korean fried chicken )) and laughed til we cried so #it was still a wonderful start to the new year 💞🥰💞#but the fwb wanted pics of my potential rave look so I figured eh I brought the stuff anyways #and now I’m imagining locking eyes with a stranger on the warm and writhing dance floor #the beat thumps and shakes and rattles the air in our breath as the spotlights dance in the reflections of our held gaze #he pushes his way through the crowd with a singular stare and a wicked smile on his face #I smile and turn my back on him arching myself so he knows I am giving what he’s looking for #I take careful steps through the revelry toward the edge where the crowd thins out #I prop myself up on an available stool in a lonely corner of the club as he closes the distance between us #“now I wonder why you dragged me all the way here” he utters in a playful growl “trying to get far away from the crowd?”#I smile and I nod. “obviously. can’t really do what I want with you out there”#his eyes perk up and his smile gives away the desire building inside him. “yeah? why don’t you show me then.”#“I thought you’d never ask” I smirk. I reach down into my pants and pull out my phone #“so this one is blue. he’s the oldest but he’s sooooo sweet. and that’s Eva. my only girl she’s sassy but she loves swea-” he leaves #whaddahell I say demurely whimpering even… whaddahell…#gpoy

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carefulfears · 1 year ago

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how many of you would get mad at me if i said that mulder fucking another woman while wearing scully’s crucifix necklace is one of the most romantic things to ever happen….like, gothically and punitively so….it’s like….well, it’s like…it’s like “aw boohoo he has to get laid because he’s so sad his partner is gone” but like for a person who never allows themself any indulgence or respite or attention, who therefore only has sex as penance. only in blood. and it’s like…yes, it’s self-harm, in many ways, but in many ways it is also confession. crucifixion, as a laying down of sin. bless me father, for i can’t save them, and i miss them anyway. crucifixion as being watched over…when he asked maggie, “why did she wear this?” and maggie answered, “because i gave it to her.”

#when you don’t believe in god but you believe in her so you give yourself religious guilt #he literally……he puts it on for his first case without her. for his first time away from home without her.#and therefore endows this kind of omniscient presence into it #it really is like being watched over. confession.#‘vampirism as an allegory for devotion and religion and abuse’ episode i am sorry i was not your mother #not everyone got it but i did #like….top 10 television episodes of all time. not just this show.#txf.txt #3 #also it’s an admission.#it’s an admission that he can connect with someone and desire that type of connection #he’s capable and maybe he wants it. maybe it means something.#the trust and care that existed between him and kristen has existed with 100 other women and never been anything more than #friendly and respectful #but maybe when it really comes down to it he does want to be seen in another light and that is a lot to admit

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the-worms-in-your-bones · 10 days ago

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Do you think someone ever gets too close to romana or tries to touch her and she just on instinct elbows or kicks or punches them because she’s used to touch being a bad thing

#like idk she spent a lot of time getting chased around and captured by aliens who wanted to hurt her #and then there’s the whole etra prime situation #and it doesn’t happen often becuase her job doesn’t really involve getting all that physically close to people #but like at one point she stumbles or something and narvin goes to help her and gets an elbow to the ribs #and she just insists she’s fine and walks away while he stands there confused concerned and trying to get his breath back #because let’s be real I don’t think she’d give an actual explanation #doctor who #romana #gallifrey #also just to add on but she probably didn’t experience much of any positive examples of touch before leaving gallifrey #so she’s really only had exposure to touch that was meant to hurt her

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rowanisawriter · 16 days ago

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#ive been out of office for a week so today im back 100000 emails requests meetings like is everyone out of their mother fucking minds #why are we bothering with this shit just turn it all off i do not give a fuck #im not doing shit!!!! i do not care!! everyone fuck off!!#I haven’t heard back from my fucking interview yet either this is day 3 they have to tell me by today #like what the fuck!! hurry up!!!!#and im also ridden like RIDDEN with guilt every time I look at my kid and realize what the future looks like #idk what to do #she doesn’t deserve this whatever is about to happen #I don’t want to like participate in society anymore but I have to do all this so she can have a chance #I need a great deal of money a shield against the bullshit #like that’s the only thing that matters they keep showing us that #but I feel like smoke #like I’m going to just blow away #whatever we keep going im going to be writing a great deal just to do something create something #whatever #whatever fuck it #god this is so hard

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wafflesrisa · 10 months ago

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I literally am looking between Mercedes’ heartfelt message bidding Lewis goodbye vs Ferrari’s one-line measly no-effort post on Carlos and am filled with irrepressible rage

#they never loved him #they didn’t take care of him #they literally don’t give a shit about Carlos they never did #I hope Lewis goes on to do great things at Ferrari #and I wish him and Charles well #i still want Charles to do well #but I’m just so frustrated at the sheer unfairness of it all #that man won you a race and Ferrari throws him away #f1 #carlos sainz #lewis hamilton #scuderia ferrari #ferrari #mercedes

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toddtakefive · 6 months ago

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thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.

the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)

there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.

#and like obviously it’s BAD in the long run and his isolation IS only making his life worse but… genuinely he’d have been alright #all things considered #it’s super interesting to me how it’s neil who starts the domino effect of todd’s life becoming Less Shit #both by beliving in him and putting faith in him that he’s never seen before and refusing to let him hide away #but it isn’t a savior moment on neil’s part #and i find it so odd when people frame it as one #todd is like… actively irritated at him in that scene 😭#neil is right that todd needs to get out of his shell and put himself out there and Believe in himself #but todd can’t accept it yet because he can’t see what neil sees in him yet and doesn’t believe it exists at all #and it frustrates him because unlike everyone else neil REFUSES to give up on him #and as far as todds concerned it’ll be for nothing #as far as todd’s concerned neil isn’t a savior or a hero in that scene he’s an annoyance #a necessary one in the grand scheme of things but an annoyance all the same #i think people forget that just because todd DOES want to break out of his shell (‘don’t you think you could be?’ / ‘no! i… i don’t know!’ +#‘come on you heard keating don’t you want to *do* something about it?’ / ‘*yes* but…’) doesn’t mean he knows how or believes he actually CAN #todds autonomy can be taken away from him a lot (ironic) and he can be twisted into someone with no opinions or thoughts or whims +#outside of neil but that isn’t really the case #and a part of that blame lands on the movie because todd doesn’t get explored a lot but there’s still evidence of him being his own person #he’s not a yesman and he tells neil when his ideas are stupid (keeping the audition from his father) or he just doesn’t personally agree +#(the entire ‘no’ scene) and he functions perfectly well when neil isn’t around and while they aren’t focuses +#there are short scenes where todds alone or scenes that start eith them apart that make it clear they aren’t attatched to each other +#in the way people can often write them to be (that is in the trenches if the other is missing)#this post and all these tags are my long winded way of saying FUCK the codependent anderperry thing some people subscribe to it makes me #mad #neil’s goal is to help todd grow into himself and become his own person and find his identity more than anything #and todd doesn’t need neil to hold his hand to do literally anything and everything he’s a normal guy with anxiety #come on guys #dps #dead poets society #todd anderson

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selunesfavouriteprincess · 3 months ago

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I can’t even lie over time this pathetic little elf has grown on me and now I really like her as a character. she’s SUCH a loser. and someone said that she should’ve been recruitable instead of Halsin after uncovering the Shadow Druid plot and she could’ve had a redemption arc and now I can’t stop thinking about that alternate reality

#i have no idea if it’s a controversial opinion to like Kagha or not but #like imagine if she was sent away from the Grove. not banished but temporarily sent away to think about her actions #Halsin says she can return to the circle after she’s rediscovered the oak father’s teachings etc etc #so she can join up with you in act 1 and you get a druid then and not 2 in act 2 randomly #maybe she travels with you to find redemption. you were the one who pulled her from the brink so she thinks travelling with you #will help her do some good in this world #she can have a tense reunion with the tieflings in act 2 and she apologises. some forgive her. others don’t as is their right #and she tries so hard to redeem herself but she learns that sometimes people are still hurt by your deeds and they might not forgive you #I think it’s talking to Arabella that actually gives her growth #maybe it’s Kagha who’s involved in Arabella’s powers and her learning to tame them. Arabella who has reason of all to hate her #and it takes a while and some conversation and working together but I think Arabella forgives Kagha #she doesn’t have to and Kagha never expected forgiveness from her but she DOES and that’s what gets Kagha the most #she has a big introspective act 2 moment in the middle of the Shadow Curse #regardless she is first to suggest rescuing the tieflings from moonrise. not because she wants forgiveness but because it’s right #(to show her character growth and learning to care about the refugees)#and then her quest could tie into the Shadow Curse. she wants to do better and help people #and eventually the other tieflings start to come round to her. once she’s proved she’s actively bettering herself #the kids find her funny and Mattis definitely thinks she’s a loser and not scary or mean #like okay lady sure I forgive you whatever stop crying now #Mirkon is just a little sweetie so he forgives her as long as Arabella does and then he follows her around asking loads of questions #anyway sorry those are my thoughts I think it’d be great to have a redemption arc companion in act 1 #bc Minthara is so missable if you don’t know to knock her out you just kill her #Kagha’s story would help indicate that there are hidden companions you can look out for #most of this is nonsense im so sleepy but will I stop rambling? no #also Minthara should top the hell out of this pathetic surface elf right now

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zorosdimples · 4 months ago

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knowing i should take a step back from tumblr for my own wellbeing vs. being emotionally attached to this app and the people on it

#tumblr would be tumblr without me—as would the self ship community. it’s silly for me to feel so invested this Thing that is just that:#a Thing. it can’t give me the love or care or satisfaction with life that i’m looking for. i’ve been hiding on here—escaping reality.#because it’s fun to live in an imaginary world where i’m everything i want to be. where i’m the main character.#but in doing so i’ve been neglecting the ugly parts of my real life; the pain and hurt and harsh realities.#over the past couple months it has become apparent to me that i tend to put too much trust and effort into people #who have neither the capacity nor the desire to reciprocate.#so i just look like a fool in the end. (this isn’t about anyone here—just a pattern of behavior in general.)#at the end of the day #having thousands of followers on tumblr has no impact on my real life. if anything it makes me feel more isolated than ever.#because it’s yet another arena where i feel like i have to carve out my own space; i’ve never been good at taking up space.#anyway i suppose i’ll take the weekend away and see how i feel. i’ve had a lot of shit happening irl that has been so horribly difficult.#so maybe getting through all of that will help me feel more comfortable on my own blog again.#if you read this all i’m so sorry. i’ll prob regret posting my heartfelt thoughts in the future but at this very moment i don’t care.#self preservation be damned.#please support ficsforgaza; i’ll still be helping aleks over there because it’s one of the few places where i feel useful.#okay i’m done now. i’ll see you later. i wish you all so much love and nothing but the best.#tw personal

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itsalwaysforyou · 9 months ago

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just remembered a wip i had which was jay at uni meeting normal people and desperately trying to act cool and normal whilst internally screaming about being in a whole new place with all new people and not having his gang with him

#i only wrote one scene where jay meets one of his flatmates #and he’s trying to make casual normal conversation & asks her who her parents are #bc that has always mattered! on the isle or at auradon prep your parentage was also a Conversation Starter #and the girl is just like ……what. why do you want to know that #but she tells him and jay makes it into a joke like hehe oh yes i met them at a soirée once. amazing company #and the girl is like ok who are YOUR parents. knowing full well who he is #and jay says that his dad fosters puppies. and the girl says that sounds like a good life and he’s like ohhh just the BEST #i really. love exploring jay at uni i’ve written a couple of things i’ve never finished #like!!! for the first time for years he’s well and truly all alone!!!!#and at least the isle & ap had similarities. uni is just full of very normal people who don’t particularly give a shit #and jay who is like THE guy who cares about everything so much all the time and how people are reacting to him and he’s desperately trying+#to be so cool and unbothered whilst trying not to revert to his isle tactics regarding people who may be threats #just. being somewhere so so new. with no one he knows. everyone else is so far away. and jay is missing his gang like he’d miss+#his body parts. and it’s like. jays always buried his own emotions & hurt so he can better protect his gang #and now he has no gang to protect #and he is just laid absolutely bare. and also constantly stressing about not being there for the others #i just think he’d have an absolutely awful start to uni <3 #descendants #jay son of jafar

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brechtian · 1 year ago

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(Mostly Signed!! YA + Sanderson) books I own and am extremely willing to sell for cheaper than average listings bc I don’t want them anymore. a lot are hardcovers (heads up most are signed but some include personalization with my name sorry. if ur name is Ella congrats tho). All are very very good quality or like new bc I was delicate with my books when I was younger (prices are for the lot of every book described in a listing and all are negotiable!)

Six of crows & crooked kingdom (1st/1st) both signed - $90 + shipping

Shadow & bone (hc) and siege & storm (pb) both signed and original covers - $75 + shipping

divergent books, all signed with inscriptions - $100 + shipping

mistborn second gen (wax and wayne), bands of mourning is a signed 1st/1st, alloy of law is a used 1st/1st, shadows of self is a used 1st/1st. $150 + shipping SOLD

Alloy of law 1st/1st former library copy - $45 + shipping

Steelheart by Brandon Sanderson trilogy, firefight & calamity 1st eds hardcovers; steelheart just paperback. $35 + shipping SOLD

hardcover signed copies of first dragonsteel editions of legion and legion: skin deep by Sanderson, rare - $75 + shipping SOLD

Darkest minds trilogy + companion novel, first two books signed, all except first book hardcover - $80 + shipping

All of lunar chronicles and fairest signed; cress, winter, & fairest are hardcovers and 1st/1sts as well. Winter has an exclusive stamp. All include personalizations “To Ella” - $125 + shipping

heartless and renegades by meyer signed hardcover 1st/1sts with inscriptions - $50 + shipping

First five books & companion novel for throne of glass, all first ed hardbacks except the first one I believe. Queen of shadows is signed and has the empire of storms signature tour stamp, empire of storms is signed, and heir of fire has the empire of storms tour stamp. Lot is $500 + shipping, individual book prices vary. SOLD

First two acotar books with original covers, both hardbacks. Acotar is first printing. Acomaf is a special signed first edition/printing with a page insert declaring its special binding, first edition status, & signature. Together $250 + shipping SOLD

Literally the entire The Last Apprentice series by Joseph Delaney none are signed but I own all fucking thirteen and the companion book in original covers, mix of paperback & hardback - $100 + shipping

Grave mercy (paperback) & mortal heart (hardcover) both signed - $45 + shipping

The Entire selection trilogy & sequel trilogy all signed. Sequel trilogy are all hardbacks, original trilogy paperbacks. - $185 + shipping

Boys I loved before trilogy + summer I turned pretty, all signed except for always and forever Lara Jean. Mix of hardcover and paperback. - $100 + shipping

Anna and the French kiss trilogy, last two books are signed, all paperback and the colored cityscape covers - $50 + shipping

Everything everything by Nicola yoon signed paperback + sun is also a star signed hardcover - $95 + shipping

Unsigned lot of 5 rainbow Rowell books, four of which are hardbacks; carry on & landline are 1st/1sts - $95 + shipping

Ember in the ashes first three books by sabaa tahir, first two signed paperbacks; third one unsigned hardcover - $60 + shipping

Brandon Mull: signed hardcover holographic copy of the first beyonders book, all the fablehaven books (all paperback mix of new and old covers, but all are signed except book 5, and book 1 is double signed.), and signed hardcover first ed of dragonwatch - $110 + shipping

Not signed but I do own the entire Artemis fowl series minus the time paradox: $70 + shipping (mixed paper and hardback)

Daughter of smoke and bone trilogy by Laini Taylor all signed paperbacks in original covers - $125

Scythe & thunderhead, thunderhead is signed - $60 + shipping

Original pjo covers all paperback, the lightning thief and battle of the labyrinth are signed SOLD for $200

I also have pjo hardcover the ultimate guide with the holo cover and all of the trading cards like new and demigod diaries both 1st/1sts! - $60 + shipping

Heroes of Olympus series original covers, son of Neptune is signed. Last four books in the series are all hardcover 1st/1sts. - $125 + shipping SOLD

Pjo greek gods and Greek heroes hardcover. Heroes is signed by Rick and John Rocco, both first editions - $100 + shipping

Kane chronicle trilogy original covers, serpents shadow is 1st/1st hardcover, other 2 paperbacks - $40

Illuminae files trilogy first two books signed, all three books hardcover first editions - $200

Way of Kings signed hardback like new/unread - $100 + shipping

Hardcover signed copy of Oathbringer - $130 + shipping

Well of Ascension signed hardcover like new - $150 SOLD

Elantris signed no printing number - $150 SOLD

Warbreaker signed and inscribed w/ my name, former library copy - $95

Arcanum Unbounded signed hardcover first edition - $150 + shipping SOLD

Rhythm of War 1st/1st SOLD

Okay um there’s more but these r the main listings for now, see my reblog with the more comprehensive Sanderson listings if you are interested in his signed books (I have a lot!).

#pjo #cosmere #tlc #marissa meyer #Brandon Sanderson #idk trying to get the big names in the first five tags. there’s so much tho.#see reblogs for update with the Sanderson listings!#I literally do not read YA so if ppl don’t claim these they’re getting shipped off to the local used bookstore to give me credit to buy #more playssss :)#also I opened up my dms so if you wanna ask abt anything just lmk #I truly have such. an absurd amount of signed books. this after giving away so many and excluding all the lesser known ones #very okay w ppl reblogging this btw! I want them sold!

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babybirbb · 5 months ago

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um actually hero by charlie puth is about mike and harvey if you even care

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stormofdefiance · 6 months ago

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Aventurine should have been wearing a feather boa instead of a fur collar and no one can change my mind

#Aventurine #HSR #this is my incredibly big brained post-travel thoughts #can you get jet lag from a 2hr flight??? it feels like it ughhh #anyway I don’t hate the fur #wish it was so much bigger and fluffier but WHY wasn’t it feathers #give this man a ruff #let him annoyingly leave behind shed feathers #let ratio pick one up and scowl about it before carefully storing it away #turn it into an ink quill that he uses to write all of his blunt little letters to Aventurine #let me collect and cradle them and fashion jewellery out of them like I want to do with my parrot’s molted feathers #ack just imagine how swoshy they’d be and dramatic and soft PLS #FEATHERS > FUR ITS ALL IM SAYING #PLUS ITS CAMP AS ALL FUCK

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flowercrowngods · 2 days ago

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making a real post for @rvspecter pls bear with me

anyway harvey hurt fic where after mike is busted and given a second chance at life (or a third, really) and pearson specter litt seizes the chance to instate a pro bono department mike is heading because he wants to get it right this time and harvey will do just about anything to keep him, these two men finally mention this Thing between them and decide to give it a try. and it’s good. it’s fragile and it’s tentative and it’s gentle and it’s the same as it’s always been but with more tenderness, more honesty, more vulnerability (and more sex of course) and it’s good. against all odds, it’s so good.

but then one day, long after hours, donna approaches harvey in his office and her eyes are shining, but it’s not a glow harvey is used to — he never wants to get used to donna’s eyes filled with tears so he asks her what’s wrong, but he’s not ready for the answer. because she tells him she can’t work for him anymore. she tells him she’s leaving him — to work for louis at first, maybe to quit altogether. the fact do the matter is she can’t be the Donna to his Harvey anymore because she’s in love with him and she thought she had it under control but she doesn’t, okay, she doesn’t and it hurts and she wants to be happy for him and mike because they’re so good but all this time she’d never thought that harvey would ever find someone real, and now that he has, well. she can’t pretend anymore that it doesn’t tear her up inside and she doesn’t want to put that on any of them so she’s doing the mature thing and leaving. to heal. to get over him. to come back stronger.

and she’s so, so sorry.

they listen to gordon one last time, they toast to thirteen years one last time — her words, not his, but they drive a knife into his heart nonetheless because harvey doesn’t do one last-anything and yet here sits his best friend and asks for one last night together and who is he but to give her everything she wants and more. she’s his donna — still, tonight; one last night. she is.

he doesn’t tell mike that night. couldn’t, even if he wanted to; because he doesn’t have the words. but in the secure hold of mike’s arms, he says “donna won’t be working for me anymore, starting tomorrow.” and he doesn’t mention how that means that donna went to jessica and louis first, he doesn’t mention that he was the last to know, he doesn’t explain how he wasn’t given a chance to fix this — not this time. “donna quit?” mike asks, and harvey swallows, shakes his head, shrugs. “just me,” he says. “just me.” and when mike pulls him closer and holds him tighter and tells him “i’m so sorry, harvey,” it’s the first i’m sorry that night that he believes.

unfortunately, sorry never fixed anything.

especially when soon after, mike finds out just why donna left. and he gets all up in his head about it, he allows himself to spiral because he’s so ready to succumb to tunnel vision and obsessing over solutions to problems that aren’t his to fix. and so he tells harvey that he can’t be the thing that comes between him and donna. they’re soulmates after all, mike can’t bear to be the one to sever their bond. harvey doesn’t understand. he’s the one who’s supposed to lose his mind over having lost his best friend and pretend like everything is okay, what right does mike have to make that about himself, to take it upon himself to fix everything when harvey’s the fixer, harvey is the one who solves problems and protects people. but mike won’t hear any of that and tells harvey that he can’t do it like this if it means hurting donna because she’s his best friend, too, and he wants to get it right this time. he doesn’t want to build this new life on decisions that hurt his people — not again. he’s hurt enough people, he can’t keep doing it.

harvey wants to ask him why he’s always so ready to protect everyone at his expense. isn’t this thing between them, their relationship, isn’t it meant to stop them from hurting each other? why is it okay to hurt harvey, but not to hurt donna?

he doesn’t ask any of that, only tells him that they’re not in high school, and that they’re either doing this or not, but he refuses to base their relationship on whether or not his best friend is okay with seeing him happy or not. “you’re either in this with me, mike, or you’re out. that hasn’t changed, and it won’t, because donna will get over it and everything will be back to normal before you know it.”

“you don’t know that.”

“yes i do, because we’re grown-ups and we get over things.”

famous last words, it turns out, because mike just slowly shakes his head, agonising over this and not thinking, clearly not thinking when he says, “i’m sorry, harvey. i can’t to this; not like this.”

and all he can do is watch mike’s back as he all but runs from him, dragging his heart behind him, through the dirt, uncaring as bits and pieces of it chip off with every step mike takes, with every second that passes and allows the words i can’t and i’m sorry, harvey echo in the hollow of his chest.

we’re grown-ups. we get over things. well, tough fucking luck.

and this is how harvey loses the two most important people in his life in the matter of a week. before he knows it, he’s alone, left to fend for himself and hollowed out. his walls are broken down, deconstructed piece by piece by carefully, gentle hands to reveal what’s underneath — only for the hands to retreat, letting in the icy cold and accepting what’s inside to wither and die.

there’s a reason harvey specter makes his own luck; the universe isn’t very forthcoming otherwise. a fact that is proven when he finds a stranger outside his building when all he wants is to curl up and breathe through the cracks of his broken hearts that have pierced his lungs, they must have, surely they must have, because he can’t breathe. and he doesn’t learn how to breathe again when the woman — a kid, really, merely twenty-five — reveals that she’s his half sister. because it turns out the reason lily specter was so ready to up and leave all those years ago; the reason she didn’t fight for her family and instead blamed it all on harvey, was because she was pregnant. and she lied about it — for twenty-six years.

amelia selene specter is the little sister harvey has always wished for — but cancer is a curse that rests on the specter family, and while marcus got lucky twice, selene isn’t. she didn’t have the money for medical resources, and it’s eating harvey alive that he didn’t know, that there was no way for him to help her and that there’s no way now.

but there is. because selene has two kids, seven and four, and she needs his help because they can’t get lost in the system, they can’t live with total strangers or be separated because the system doesn’t actually care about children, they only care about not feeling guilty. and she won’t ask lily. these two angels must be kept from her at all costs because she ruined two families already, she won’t ruin this one.

and harvey is obsessed with the thought of more family, he needs to take care of and be there for someone and he’s ready to take on the world to protect his niece and nephew — but he’s not warm, he’s not available, he’s not even at home most of the time, nor is his place suitable for kids.

he agrees to take them in and find a solution though. he promises selene that he’ll be there for them. he’ll always be there. and when he gets to meet them — a few days before his sister dies way too young, way too alive for something like death to not rip him apart entirely — he gets attached instantly and vows to himself and to selene that nothing will happen to them as long as he’s there.

even though harvey just lost his family — the one he chose, the one he was born into, and the one he never got to meet. even though harvey’s entire world was deconstructed with no one around to put it back together. even though he doesn’t know how, because evidently he got it wrong every single time, harvey gets to build a new family with these kids. and though it tears him up inside, it heals something inside him too — and sometimes they balance each other out, and he can breathe again for just a little while as he reads to charlotte because she’s feisty and afraid of nightmares and not listening when he says she’ll be tired in the morning because “i’m tired in the morning anyway, but now i wanna read” and he trades her going to bed for a bedtime story, and she falls asleep with her face pressed into his side.

it’s so frail, though, so fragile, this little family, and he knows what it’s like when everything breaks. he knows what it’s like to lose one��s family — over and over and over again. and he’s terrified that he’s building himself back up the wrong way. he’s terrified because there’s no one keeping him together but both his hands are occupied holding these children that cry for their mama.

he’s terrified because he’s not supposed to be doing this alone. but everyone else has made their choice and he, as always, is just there to bear the consequences and try to turn it into a win.

one day, he will. he has to. and one day, he’s not alone anymore.

#harvey specter #mike ross #donna paulsen #marvey #suits #suits usa #suits tv #listen uhhh sorry this got so long??? i take no responsibility that this ran away from me you are warned now this is what happens when #you get me started on a story idea hdhdhd #of course mike realises what he’s done and how STUPID he was about it all and he runs back to harvey attempting to fix it all #not at all expecting the two children in the condo #and when harvey tells him everything and mike realises the damage he’s done and the pain he’s caused he doesn’t know if he can fix it #if he can make it right. if he even deserves another chance at this because shit harvey i’m so sorry. i didn’t know. god i’m such an idiot #knowing donna was hurting it made me panic but realising that you were hurting even more just… god. you didn’t deserve that. i’m so sorry. ‘#and harvey gives him a sad smile because he’s known all along that mike was in his head about it and that he was being stupid and self-#sacrificial. only that he didn’t just sacrifice himself but harvey too. and he had hoped GOD had he hoped that mike would come back to him.#‘can i come in? i’d understand if you never wanna see me again though’ mike asks and harvey opens the door with a shrug. ‘course you can.’#and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey tells him about charlie and elias. and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey tells him about #selene. and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey looks up and wraps his arms around mike because he doesn’t want to hear it but he does #not want to let go of him either. never wants to let him go again. they cry a little bit about it. but it’s okay because mike wipes his #tears away and harvey lets him before resting their foreheads together. ‘don’t leave again’ he tells him. ‘i won’t’ mike promises.#and he doesn’t. and their family gets a bit more fragile then but also stronger for it. somehow it makes sense.

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daffi-990 · 1 year ago

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WIP Wednesday ✍️

Tagged by @jesuisici33 . Thank you lovely ❤️

A continuation of the very first snippet I shared from The Lightning Amnesia Fic, which was also the very first thing I wrote for this fic as well. Now it’s at 28k and I’m close to finishing it 😳.

The rain has begun to pick up and Buck thinks briefly that during the rain of a lightning storm, his memories, his future with Eddie was wiped away so it’s only fitting that the rain is accompanying him to get that future back. He glances at the sky and is thankful that there is no lightning at play tonight. He’d still face the storm if there was. Nothing can keep him from the man who lives behind this front door.

He raises his hand to said front door and knocks, aware that it’s 11pm on a Tuesday and that Eddie is probably asleep. He waits for about a minute and then knocks again. There is so much nervous energy in his body that he starts bouncing on the balls of his feet, opting to knock again even though it’s been less than 30 seconds because fuck, he’s impatient. He remembers and he just needs to see Eddie right the fuck now.

The front light turns on, the door opens and Buck lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. Eddie is standing there in his favourite pair of black sleep shorts and a white shirt. His eyes are still adjusting to the light, squinting at the brightness, his hair is tousled and Buck thinks he’s never looked more beautiful.

“Buck?” Eddie’s voice is low, and yeah, Buck definitely woke him up. “What are you doing here?”

There is so much Buck wants, needs, to say but right now there is only one thing on the tip of his tongue, clashing and clawing and wanting desperately to get out.

“I remember”

No pressure tagging: @callmenewbie @callaplums @captain-hen @devirnis @disasterbuckdiaz @exhuastedpigeon @eddiebabygirldiaz @eddiediaztho @fortheloveofbuddie @forthewolves @giddyupbuck @hippolotamus @honestlydarkprincess @lover-of-mine @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @rainbow-nerdss @spotsandsocks @thewolvesof1998 @try-set-me-on-fire @wikiangela @wildlife4life

#I know the snippets I’m throwing out are on the short side #but I don’t want to give too much away #just want to tease you all so you’ll want to read it when it’s finished and posted 😅#daffi writes #the lightning amnesia fic #buddie wip #buddie #my wip

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beegriffs · 7 months ago

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Throwback to when Sean, Cote, and Michael tried to solve the mystery of how to take a serious photo…

#ncis #Michael Weatherly #Cote de Pablo #sean murray #Tony DiNozzo #Ziva David #timothy mcgee #photoshoot outtake #rare photo #Photoshoot #don’t repost as your own that’s why there’s watermarks like this #you know who you are #the same group of people who attack my friends and I on all social media platforms and then get angry when we stand up for ourselves #Y’all seriously need to calm down with that because jealousy is not a good reason to make fake accounts to talk sh!t about us #because all y’all had to do was be nice to begin with #Same with the pics y’all are upset about #asking goes a long way and not a single one of y’all asked for pics #and I was going to upload all of them in UHQ and give them away but then you attacked me for even having them #the point was to share them with everyone and you guys just came at me and my friends because I shared ONE while waiting them to upload #shows how toxic you guys make the fandom #but you say we’re the mean ones for not just giving you whatever you want whenever you want it?#make that make sense #but anyway I love these three #I mean really #just look at them #tiva #mote de weatherly

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greg-montgomery · 2 months ago

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when i remember everything i let slide

#reflecting…#you hear stories on tiktok from girls saying things they let their bfs get away with and you’re like girl get UP #but when you go through something similar you think your case is different #until you look back after you’ve healed #all this is coming from the fact i’m seeing our mutual friend on friday #and i know she’ll bring him up #and i swear i’m 100% over him and i don’t want him back #but i do NOT wanna learn his news #his name gives me anxiety and a stomach ache #not bc i love him anymore but bc of all the things he put me through #i wish he wasn’t affecting me anymore but i’m recognizing it’s not bc i have feelings but bc of all the hurt he caused me

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