#I don’t know you dude this is a bizarre world we’ve built | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

textualdeviance · 5 years

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Seeing the shit going down on Twitter this afternoon and at the risk of attracting an angry mob (which I'll just block, but still): I honestly just do not get being into that ship/stanning that character. I mean, I've had some oddball ships in my past so I'm not in a position to judge, I guess, but I just don't get why. What's the appeal? If it was a kink thing or maybe a personal-demon-exorcising one I'd get it, but that's not what I've seen among most. I'm seeing genuinely romantic framing and that's just bizarre to me. I've only been on the fringes of the shipping corner of this fandom up until now, so maybe I've missed something, but I'm still confused.

I'm a sucker for a good redemption arc, and I get the mind-control aspect involved, so I can see he's not 100% evil. I can also see (as I mentioned previously) why she wants to save him: to prove to herself she can be saved, too. But I still don't understand why anyone would think this is inherently romantic and an inherently better relationship choice for her than the good guys who love her and aren't, y'know, mass murderers. Or, really, just about any other potential ship, or her being ace or choosing celibacy or something.

There are some easy answers, of course: Some people can only see love in one very narrow flavor: an allocishet, same-race, male-dominant dyad. That's what's been shoved into our collective brains as the definition of "romance" for countless generations. And since this story doesn't have any other shipping options for her that meet those criteria, and some folks can't understand or appreciate a story without that kind of romance, that's what they land on.

I think there's also a built-in corner of this fandom that is inherently all about understanding and forgiving violent white dudes. The whole prequel trilogy certainly attracted that kind of apologist. Because really, who hasn't had the impulse to murder a bunch of children because a relationship didn't go the way you wanted it to? And on a meta level, there's certainly plenty of that kind of shit in the real world, too. Entire religions have been built on the notion of forgiving even the most horrible people if they just say they're sorry when they're two minutes from death. Certainly a convenient moral framework for people who enjoy doing horrible shit and want to get away with it. And let's also not discount the gaslighting of millions of girls and women into believing that they have some sort of responsibility to patiently love abusive men until they stop being abusive. I mean, that's a lot of the whole 50 Shades phenom. Is that what's going on here? Maybe? I don't know.

Some stories have more moral complexity. There are sympathetic bad guys and ostensible good guys with a rotten heart. I personally think we've had enough of that sort of thing in recent years, but it's certainly common. But that's not what this story is. At its core, it's a kids' story with clearly defined good and bad sides. I mean, it's entirely about the good guys fighting to free the galaxy from magical space Nazis. That's literally what the bad guys were modeled on. So when I see people framing the main magical space Nazi in this part of the story as boyfriend material, I can't help but be bewildered. Do they not know he's supposed to be a Nazi? Do they not think Nazis are inherently bad? Do they think destroying entire solar systems is just a youthful mistake that can be handwaved if he does one good thing to make up for it? In the real world, even people who are blackmailed or brainwashed into doing something terrible still get held legally responsible for it, because it's presumed that almost everyone over the age of 7 who is capable of being aware of reality knows certain things are always wrong. It's reasonable to expect that that kind of bright-line morality is the foundation of this particular fictional world, too.

I try to be a "ship what you want" sort of person. It's fiction. It's pop culture. It's fun to play with virtual dolls and put them together in interesting combinations. But sometimes I run across something that's just so weird and creepy to me that I can't help being bothered by it (and when that thing is also being championed by fans who are terribly behaved, well, that just makes it worse.) I'm sure there are explanations for it, but I have to say that I doubt most of those explanations are going to come from a place of healthy perspective and moral judgment. I'm willing to listen to reasoned arguments to the contrary, but from where I'm sitting now, it's hard not to assume that almost all of the support of this is coming from some very icky angles.

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neon-serpent-llc · 7 years

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Time to stroke my ego and elevate my opinions to untouchable facts with the fourth annual Whatever Awards! Now, don’t let me being a veteran AAA game developer trick you into thinking this list has any merit. My pointless, subjective list carries the same weight as The Oscars, that is to say, none.

Now read my absolutely important, objective list of Best Games.

Intentionally Hardcore or Accidentally Impossible? - ELEX One of my gaming guilty pleasures involves wonky sandbox adventures from Europe. Colorful worlds with unconventional RPG systems make for...unique game experiences. Which means unpredictability; something AAA games sorely lack.

This year’s prime example was ELEX, from the makers of Risen. Adding a dose of sci-fi seemed like an interesting twist on this already bizarre sub-genre, but it may (or may not) have gone horribly wrong. Because I genuinely can't tell if this game is monstrously difficult by design, or by accident.

The leveling system is heavily balanced towards quest completion, yet most quests involve traveling to areas swarming with tough monsters (who reward almost no experience for being killed). The combat is extremely stiff, so fighting them is an uphill battle to begin with, but presumably easier with better weapons. Yet you can't upgrade weapons (or even hold fancy weapons, like a blaster pistol) until you level up your character...which is almost impossible, since you finish so few quests. There's no good way to break in to this loop.

So my brief time with ELEX devolved into cautiously exploring the world and running away from all combat. And reloading often from the never ending stream of one-shot kills.

The Tale of Two Takes Award(s) - Nioh and The Surge Both games offered a take on the Soulsborne formula this year, with varying degrees of success. Without naming names, one was fast, fun, and interesting, whereas the other was slow, awkward, and frustrating. I liked the settings of each, and the core systems, but ultimately one I finished and the other I dropped after getting lost for hours in the second level. And for me to get lost is an almost unheard of feat. Remember, I make virtual mazes for a living!

Phrases to Retire Award, part 1 - Love Letter Every indie game on Steam is a love letter to some game from the past. Just once, I'd like to see a reply from one of the games that’s been called out.

Dear Face Xploders Xcelsior, Thanks for the kind thoughts. I tried your demo, and it kinda sucked. Please, don't write me again. Ciao, Castlevania.

P.S. Stop mentioning my name!

Too Much of a Good Thing Award - Prey Prey is a smart, rewarding game with confident, emergent design. Except for the last four hours of backtracking and more backtracking through monsters that repopulate at mach speed. Because of this, there is little motivation to fight them, only to flee, leading to a marathon of speed-run style tactics to get from point A to B, and back again. That said, the ending IS great, and makes everything come together as a whole, but it could have arrived much sooner. AAA games are so afraid to cut any finished content, (hey, that cost time and money!), but sometimes its necessary.

Way Too Much of a Good Thing Award - Miitopia Miitopia is a quirky, cute game with fairly standard JRPG design. And there's a good dose of humor in the unexpected interactions between Mii characters. Nothing close to the likes of Tomodachi Life, the insane, brilliant Mad-Lib generator, but still amusing.

This is a slow paced game, one that I burned through over the course of many nights, falling asleep in bed. But the thing is, this game is HUGE. It keeps going and going, world after world. Long after it has run out of new things to show you, there is just MORE. Even beating the game unlocks two worlds and an infinite side-quest system. As a kid, I never imagined that a game could be too long. Sorry, Little Me, but you were wrong!

Bad Habit Award - Hyperbole Headlines Everything is either the Best Thing Ever or the Worst Thing Ever. This reaches much further than the game industry, but some (not all) of our news sites have jumped fully onto this trend, which is the Worst Thing Ever, by the way.

I Forgot This Came Out Award - For Honor One of my only repeat awards, the "I Forgot This Came Out" Award is not meant to downplay the award's recipient, its meant to humbly remind us that hype and excitement mean nothing when it comes to standing the test of time. For Honor was a big E3 reveal for Ubisoft, a new IP set to redefine online combat. It had the world's attention. I tried the beta and it never clicked for me, but I know some of my co-workers adored it.

And then...it was gone. Like so many of the games we pour years of our lives into creating, they get their 15 seconds of fame, and nothing more. No end of the year praise, no all-time best lists. Just another momentary fragment of joy.

Best MMO - Destiny 2 No matter what Bungie claims, Destiny 2 is an MMO...and it's pretty fun this time! There's a deep-seated momentum to the gameplay. You never sit still as you dance through a progression of ever more colorful worlds. And strong art direction bleeds through everything. Compare that to my only memories of Destiny 1: sitting around, waiting for a FitBit to decode computers in dull, empty rooms.

Phrases To Retire Award, Part Two - Blowing Up My phone is blowing up! This game is blowing up! These awards are blowing up! They got two whole retweets!!

Remasterpiece Award - Final Fantasy XII Sometimes its sacrilege to mess with a masterpiece. Even the phrase "Who shot first?" evokes memories of defending Han's trigger finger. Yet, in videogames we buy remakes and remasters with the express hope that our masterpieces HAVE been messed with. They better have spruced up them graphics and tripled the FPS, re-recorded the voice-overs, let me fast travel, save anywhere, and given me a new epilogue for good measure.

Such is the case with Final Fantasy XII, a masterpiece to begin with, and much more so now with the addition of one clever feature: the fast-forward button. One click and the entire game runs at either 2x or 4x normal speed. I was certain using it would cheapen the experience, but to my surprise, it greatly enhanced it. By speeding up the tedious parts, players have more time to enjoy the tasty bits. It encourages deeper exploration of the world and its content.

One could argue, of course, that there should be no tedious parts, but I can think of few narrative-heavy games without some tedium built-in. Every second of the story can't be exciting, we need peaks and valleys. A sprinkle of tedium helps virtual worlds feel more lived-in and authentic. Pure games like Ikaruga can dispense with tedium because the story of Ikaruga is "shoot or die!"

It'll be interesting to see what happens with Shadow of the Colossus next (this) year. A ground-up remake of yet another masterpiece, but by a completely different creative team. Every line of code is new. If I told you I had the exact blueprint to replicate the Mona Lisa, I doubt you'd be excited to see my "remake."

Trend That Needs To Die - Loot Boxes They've been lame since day one and everyone finally seems to agree. Companies, just let us directly buy the dumb consumer junk we want!

Game that Most Impressed my Parents Award - Horizon: Zero Dawn My Dad is a classical landscape painter, so I like to show him vast game environments. While he was impressed by Assassin's Creed's Egypt, and Zelda's rolling fields, he was blown away by the sheer beauty of nature on display in Horizon. And my Mom also remarked that it was "very pretty." I made a brief attempt to explain robot dinosaurs to them, but ultimately concluded with, "look, its a videogame, ok?"

The Inverse Xenogears Award - Mass Effect Andromeda Xenogears, if you'll recall, started strong and remained strong...until disk 2 where, frankly, the game kinda fell apart. Many games fall into this mold, most famously Mass Effect 3 which ended on a particularly underwhelming note.

So what happens when I game STARTS on a particularly underwhelming note, but gains momentum and finishes strong? Such is the case with ME:A. The game sets up a simple, awe inspiring premise: humanity goes to Andromeda. We've finally reached a new galaxy. Things beyond our imagination await here, just you wait!

Oh, never mind. Turns out its just the standard bipedal dudes-with-guns waiting for us, behind cover no less. Also, some animations were weird. Buzz killed. Understandably, most people bailed out around this point.

But, given about ten hours, the game opens up. For one, you start visiting proper alien-looking planets, and the scope of the story broadens vastly. Around the same time you've gotten enough abilities to zip around the battlefield, never needing to hide for cover again. This is where the game should have started.

By the end, the fate of Andromeda convincingly rests in your hands in a truly bombastic finale that hits on every level. And your character is a bona fide joy to control by this point. This is easily the strongest ending in Bioware's history, overcompensating for the ME3 ending fiasco. Shame that most will never see it, and the stage that it sets will never continue. Mass Effect is likely dead now.

What's the Fuss Award - Player Unknown's Battlegrounds This game has been around for years, more or less, in various forms. So why do people suddenly care? Why this one? Nothing about it is particularly new. If anything, it seems like a slower, clumsier version of almost any other shooter that comes to mind. The Zeitgeist is weird.

Might have been game of the year, if I had more time to play it - Persona 5 Even though I've played ten hours already, I know I'm basically nowhere in this game. Which is more than I can say for Divinity 2, another supposed GOTY candidate that I've yet to even start. There were just too many good games this year. Who has the time to play them all, especially these 100+ hour behemoths?

Movie and music critics can easily keep up with new releases, but game reviewers are obligated to complete these massive games before rendering judgement. Most professional game outlets divide reviews across numerous individuals and even then these outlets only review a fraction of new releases. Is there a single soul on Earth that played EVERY Steam game released in 2017? Doubtful. Given this, is any "game of the year" pronouncement valid? At best, GOTY is more like "Best game I played this year, of the 5% of total releases that I actually played"

Phrases to Retire Award, Part 3 - Is a thing. Apparently, Microsoft Windows 3.1 is still a thing. Listen, it might have been cute if it was said once, by one human, and then retired for a decade. But instead it's said by every human, every second, about every THING. How is this a thing?

The Long-Lost Everything Award - Xenoblade 2 This game reminds me of all the best bits of ye olde games of yore: A huge, sweeping story that keeps evolving and unfurling with none of the cut corners I associate with the PS3 era (where every game got really short, and every environment got reused 200 times). A huge, sweeping soundtrack with countless memorable songs and none of the generic movie-orchestration I associate with games made in the west. A huge, sweeping overworld that's intricately hand crafted to match the story (living on the shoulders of Titans is escapism at its best), with none of the generic cities/fields I associate with, well, most open world games.

Mostly, this felt like a great, overlooked space-opera Anime that we've all somehow rediscovered 15 years later. That said, the fan service also feels fifteen years out of date, and is the only questionable bit from ye olde games of yore.

“Hey, I Have a Fun Idea” Award - Super Mario Odyssey The award is named after how the game was designed. Just a bunch of people sitting around saying, “hey, I have fun idea,” and then making that into a tight, micro-slice of gameplay bliss. This game is loaded with brief, memorable moments that are novel, and never overstay their welcome. As the last drop of fun has been reached with one activity, the game is already moving you along to the next...hundreds of times in a row. Now that's impressive.

Everyone's a Speedrunner Award - Ys VIII: The Lacrimosa of Dana Most games try to mimic real-world physics when it comes to character movement. A character's jump, for instance, looks wrong if it doesn't match what we'd expect to see in reality. Speedrunners know how to exploit these pseudo-physics to great effect, and use this knowledge to "break the game" by moving and jumping in ways unintended by the game's developers. Usually this type of movement is difficult to perform, and requires hours of practice to master single-frame animation windows and pixel-perfect jump arcs.

But not in Ys VIII! Just mash on the jump and dodge buttons and you'll soon become a whirling dervish of energy, constantly increasing in speed. It requires no practice, and feels exhilarating. The music's tempo matches the speed, and nothing ever slows you down, making it clear that this freedom of movement was by design. Brilliant!

The Armchair Architect's Wet Dream Award - Gravity Rush 2 Gravity Rush 2 is a beautiful game. Maybe too beautiful, as I spent most of my time slowly walking the streets, taking in the colorful architecture. And while this world is obviously an impossible place, most of the buildings still seem like they could work. In particular, I liked that the bottom of every island was explorable as well. I guess there are literally no places to hide when your main character is a badass, flying-cat superwoman.

Game of the Year Award (or Best game I played this year, of the 1% of total releases that I actually played) - Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Hardly surprising given that Zelda has won this award from...well, everybody I think, but there is no denying this game is just sublime. A profound sense of freedom and old-school Adventure permeates every inch of this vast world. And the game is greatly unpredictable, thanks to all the emergent physics systems built-in to the core gameplay. No two encounters play the same because of it, keeping this behemoth utterly engaging from start to finish.

Art of the Year Award - Nier Automata Videogames are an Artform, which we all (finally) know by now, but of course they're only one of many Artforms that fight for our hearts and minds: Movies, music, literature, painting, sculpture, and sandwiches made at Subway (hey, they're made by "sandwich artists," right?). And with this in mind, I offer up my first ever "Art of the Year Award" to the best damn Art I've seen in many years: Nier Automata.

It's hard to explain why this game packs so much of a punch, especially given that, at first glance, it seems like an easily dismissable fan service game. Do not be fooled! What starts as a standard sci-fi premise, becomes more and more involved both in terms of plot and philosophy. This buildup leads you exclusively in one direction, thematically. This theme is remarkably consistent, from the music to the side quests, even to the enemies you encounter. That is, until the credits of ending five roll (there are 26 endings, but you'll only need to see five to fully understand what I mean). Then everything gets flipped, so to speak, in what is EASILY the best ending in video game history. This turnabout is not only well earned, but it makes every second preceding it feel more important and absolutely necessary. In terms of vision, this is a Complete Thought, delivered in video game format.

Most importantly, Nier showed me that "art games" don't have to be boring. It's so fun to play! With my game, ULTRAWORLD EXODUS, I kept many exciting elements of movement out because I was worried players wouldn't pay attention to the message, which was the game's reason to exist. But instead, they paid attention to the lack of movement options, and missed the message anyway because they were too frustrated. Nobody wants a symposium, they want to smash giant robots. And hey, if someone is talking that philosophy stuff in the background, that's cool I guess, as long as I can keep smashing. This one will stay with me for years.

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And that’s all; what an embarrassment of riches this year was! Feel free to disagree with me, because honestly, that’s the point. Your opinions will always hold the most weight, far more than mine, which suck. So, yeah, whatever :P

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faierius · 7 years

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In His Shoes (2. Out of Body Experience)

Prompto was the first to wake. His limbs didn’t want to cooperate, all heavy and ungainly. His head throbbed and he was dreading opening his eyes to the sunlight beating down on them. Everything felt intact despite the hard-fought battle they lost last night, but that didn’t mean his friends faired the same.

“Noct?” he questioned. Oh Gods, his voice sounded awful, deep and gravelly. What had that thing done to him? He sounded like Gladio. Clearing his throat, he tried again. “Noct?”

“Here,” Ignis called.

Slowly opening his eyes, Prompto pushed himself into a sitting position. His body moved like a lead sack, but he got himself up. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he paused. “Why do I have a beard?”

“Huh? Did you hit your head, big guy?” Ignis asked, raising a brow at him.

“Big guy? I think it was you that hit your head. Where’s Noct?”

Ignis scowled. “I’m right here.”

“Yeah, yeah. Very funny Iggy.”

“No…what? Maybe you need glasses, too. How the hell can you confuse me with Specs?”

Prompto narrowed his eyes. “Uhhokay. Why don’t you listen to yourself, and look at yourself, bud? You are most definitely not Noctis.”

Scowling deeply, Ignis got to his feet. He was squinting hard as he looked down at himself. Patting his chest, he saw his hands and an eyebrow rose. “What the hell?” he whispered, eyes shooting wide. Head snapping up, he glowered at Prompto. “Why do I sound like Specs? And why am I wearing his clothes?”

“Uhh…because you are Specs? You’re freaking me out, dude.”

“No, no, I’m Noctis. What the hell is going on here?”

“Iggy, careful. You’re gonna step on your glasses,” Prompto told the man, pointing at his feet.

“I don’t wear glasses!”

“Okay, you’re confused, Iggy.” Leaning forward to push himself off the ground, Prompto looked down at his hands. Too big, connected to thick, uncovered wrists, connected to huge tattooed forearms. Prompto’s jaw dropped. “I’m…Gladio?”

“Uh, yeah?” Picking up the glasses, Ignis scowled at them before slipping them on his face. Surprise washed over his features.

Prompto managed to get to his feet, staggering under his own unfamiliar weight. “Did that daemon spray us with something? I’ve gotta be hallucinating.”

“Hallucinating what?”

“This?” Prompto answered, swinging his arms wide. “You’re Ignis, but you say you’re Noctis. I look like Gladio, but I’m Prompto!”

“You’re Prompto?”

“Yeah, dude! At least I was before we got knocked out. Aw, man! This sucks.” The complaint sounded so weird coming out in Gladio’s voice.

“Tell me something only Prompto would know,” Ignis—Noctis?—asked him.

“The first time we fooled around, you chaffed my nipples so bad, nothing could touch them for an entire day afterward,” he replied, staring at the ground as he spoke. Saying this to someone who may not be Noctis churned his stomach, even if it was Ignis.

“Okay. That was gross coming out of Gladio’s mouth.”

“Your turn. I need to know you’re Noct.”

“You have matching freckles on the underside of your butt cheeks. And one on your inner left thigh.”

Prompto’s lip curled. “Oh Gods, don’t say stuff like that in his voice. It’s so wrong.”

“Ugh, tell me about it.”

“Okay, so if you’re Noct, and I’m Prompto, where the heck are Gladio and Iggy?” Scrubbing a hand over his intensely itchy beard, Prompto took a few lumbering steps toward Noct. He was wobbly on his feet, movement slow and heavy. How the hell did the big guy manage in such a huge body? Everything was clumsy and sluggish. Each step thundered through his entirety.

“We weren’t very far apart when we went down,” Noct replied, crossing his arms and slouching in typical Noctis fashion. It looked odd on Ignis’ body. He huffed and dropped his arms. “This is so weird. Ignis is so…gaingly.”

“Try being a human behemoth,” Prompto replied, focusing on each step.

“This is bad enough, thanks.”

“Guess we should look for them.”

Scowling deeply, Noctis nodded.

“On the bright side, at least we don’t have to search at night,” Prompto commented, trying to instill a little optimism into the situation.

Noct didn’t reply as he pointed out two lumps in the grass a short way off. Testing out their new bodies, they jogged through the clearing toward their friends. Prompto tripped over his massive feet and hit the ground next to his own prone body. Seeing himself like this was mind-boggling. His face looked the same, but different, little things out of place with the image he had of himself. He shuddered. His brain wasn’t built for this.

“Oh, I pray to whichever of the Six that’s listening its Ignis in here,” he muttered, reaching down and patting his own cheek. “Rise and shine!”

Light blue—nearly purple—eyes fluttered open. His brow furrowed, the eyes taking a moment to focus. When they locked on the face of Gladio looming over him, the eyes shot wide, a rather unmanly scream erupted from him, and he scrambled backward crab-style.

“Holy shit! What the hell kinda bad joke is this?” he squeaked.

Sighing, Prompto lowered his head. Gladio. Just his luck. “Relax, big guy. I know what this looks like.”

“Do you? Is your face staring back at you?”

“Actually, yeah!” Prompto watched the comically confused expression spread across his features. “Listen Gladio, this is gonna sound crazy, but we’ve switched bodies. Somehow.”

“What?”

Prompto snorted at the flat look on his face. Seeing his own expression was simultaneously creepy and entertaining. “Believe it or not, but it’s Prompto in here,” he said touching his chest—Gladio’s chest.

Every aspect of his rented-out face wrinkled up. “What?” Gladio asked again.

“It would appear we are in quite the predicament,” said Ignis, his speech filtered through Noctis’ voice.

“A predicament? We’ve all changed bodies, and that’s what you’re calling it?” Noctis replied.

“You’re all just accepting this?” Gladio demanded, eyes wide.

“What else do you propose we do? Nothing will come of us panicking.” Ignis answered, scowling through Noctis’ bangs.

Prompto watched Gladio’s mouth open and close as he tried to think of a reply. “What?” was all he managed.

Unsteady, Ignis rose to his feet. He frowned as he took stock of the strange new body, feeling out old aches, powers attached to the body of the Lucis Caelum bloodline, the different stature… “Alright,” he sighed. “We’ve been at one another’s throats for days, but we need to set petty differences aside at the moment.”

“How’re you so calm about this?” Gladio demanded again, glaring at the body that used to be home to Noctis.

“What choice do we have?” Prompto asked, standing up straight and extending his hand. Gladio accepted it, and not used to his new strength, Prompto nearly threw him across the field.

“Watch it!” complained Gladio, stumbling.

“Sorry!” Prompto felt his cheeks heat up, brows drawn as he gave the man an apologetic glance.

Ignis smirked, Noctis’ features taking on a more mature appearance as he did. “I’m not used to seeing color in your cheeks, Gladio.”

“Shuddap!” Huffing, Gladio crossed his arms. Narrowing his eyes, he looked up at Prompto. “I think you got the better deal in this arrangement.”

“Really, you wanna pick a fight now?” Prompto grumbled, rolling his eyes.

“How the hell am I supposed to do my job like this, huh? Prompto’s got all my strength, my mass, probably my weapons, too.”

Sighing, Ignis turned his head first to Prompto. His brow twitched when he realized the man he wanted to address was no longer in there, and he turned to Gladio. “You’re being childish, Gladio. This is a bizarre inconvenience for all of us, and we need to sit down and discuss things. Out in the open is not the place to do so. Let’s head back to camp.” Ignis reached up to adjust his glasses out of habit, but only touched the bridge of his nose. Lowering his hand, he surveyed the area before turning and walking away from the group. The others hurried to catch up.

The short walk through the forest was awkward and silent. All four men took the time to acquaint themselves with their new selves. The new stride, the way their clothes fit, the way power flowed through them, even the way things smelled seemed different. Not to mention the way the world looked. New eyes, new perspective. But this was just the beginning for all of them.

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miss-pettigrew · 8 years

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Alright y’all. It’s been a little over a day since that meta post that earned me so many lovely notes and followers and reblogs and magic and I’m honestly so overwhelmed and yeeeeeee-ing over the positive feedback.

So I got another one for ya, that I’m low-key embarrassed about because this entirely prurient but let’s not pretend we don’t enjoy KS half as much as we do for that very reason.

So I want to talk about Sangwoo and sex.

I find Sangwoo’s relationship with sex pretty fascinating and it can’t hurt to dive a little bit into it. As always, this is purely my opinion and speculation and there are things I very well may be incredibly wrong about. Ok, who cares, let’s go.

At this point in the series (up through chapter 17) we’ve seen this dude get his nasty on quite a few times, in quite a few contexts. And the one thing that always stands out to me as it probably does to all of you is his complete lack of... response?

Take 1 - his handy from Bum. He shows absolutely no sign of arousal or pleasure other than the obvious erection. And we also know that he ejaculated because of the following scene - and yet, without that scene, I would have assumed he hadn’t. And we have the blushing scene which as this series has continued on, that panel becomes more and bizarre as we go because there is not a single other instance in which he reacts like that. In which his cardiovascular system met with his nervous system (i dont actualy know science isthis what happens) and blood rushes to his head in response to Bum. Like dang.

We then have the blow job part 1 in which Sangwoo kiiiinda initiates? Again, not moaning, no huffing, nothin’. Just a lot of disparaging comments and an ejaculation.

Ok, so he clearly is getting something out of it. We also throughout all of this that with each sexual encounter with Bum, he becomes more and more affectionate in daily life. No longer requiring Bum to do chores, no longer keeping him chained in the basement. But all shallow appearances, he’s treating him well - and he’s viewing these sexual encounters intimately. Huh.

Then shit goes bad, and the next encounter in the basement in which Sangwoo gets off on Bum. Full disclosure, I haven’t actually read this chapter more than twice. It gives me the icks and as someone who IS NOT A SENSITIVE PERSON like at all, it gives me the icks. But, as I remember, Sangwoo is EXTREMELY responsive. Obviously, there is nothing consensual (ever) and Bum isn’t even touching him, but he is responding in a very normal way to sexual stimulus. Huh?

Next chapter he goes out and sleeps with another girl (in a place not his apartment therefore clearly not a victim). Then he goes to the gay bar and honeypots the man - which OF COURSE this is interesting. And I’ve read a few good metas on the reasoning behind this. Was it gay panic? I’m less inclined to think so, because in the larger context in the involvement of Bum - it appears to me that it’s more an olive branch? Sangwoo expect Bum to participate in his world and so let’s ease it in by offering him something he can relate to - gay men. That could be wrong, I don’t know - it’s entirely speculation here as there is nothing at all to compare it to. I will point out that the panel in which the man is kissing him the bathroom, Sangwoo does look quite vulnerable.

And holy shit COMPLETE SIDE NOTE BEAR WITH ME I’LL GET TO THE POINT.

Let’s talk about Sangwoo’s size. I see so many posts making fun of his “yaoi” body. Which believe me, I laugh at. But do you notice how incredibly large Sangwoo has gotten with each passing chapter. yes, he’s very muscular, he has to be to pull of the shit he does. But I have no doubt that is much more an effect of unreliable narrator through Bum. As Bum physically, mentally, emotionally deteriorates, Sangwoo becomes stronger, broader, more powerful and much more frightening. It’s meant to serve as a contrast between these two characters. Movies do this all the time. In Crimson Peak, they built the furniture larger to show how Edith becomes smaller and frailer the more she is poisoned throughout the movie. It’s 99% for effect.

In that scene in the bathroom, Sangwoo (or what we see of him) appears SMALLER. Significantly so. He’s out of his comfort zone and his physicality reflects that. By the time they’re back in the basement he’s back to full size, because they’re in his world now and see how he grows.

Ok, let’s get to the almost point here.

I’ve stated before but I’ll state it again, Sangwoo sleeping with Jieun isn’t in reaction to Bum sitting on that guy’s lap. It’s not ultimately even something he set out to do to hurt Bum (though he can see the advantage of it after the encounter in the bathroom). It’s purely part of his modus operandi when he commits these murders. And this murder, in particular, is for Bum.

(as a side note, I’m still terrified as how he expects Bum to participate in this part of the process - other than by watching through a slit in the door. please, god, let that be all)

What I do want to point out, and I’m going off fan translations until I buy the english chapter myself (BUY THIS STUFF Y’ALL GOOD LORD), but Sangwoo doesn’t make a god damn peep this whole time. It’s all Jieun.

Not one chapter ago did Bum make the a huge deal about wanting to hear Sandwoo’s moans echo through the mic. The only time he has ever head Sangwoo moan was when he was being asphyxiated in the basement. Not the greatest context, poor wee babe.

But the BJ in the bathroom, Sangwoo DOES react. Not significantly, but his breathing becomes labored. He rolls his eyes back when he answers the phone in pleasure. He’s physically showing how Bum is affecting him. When this man has otherwise, never shown any sort of reaction during sex.

And then there’s the kissing. And this to me is still pretty... grey for me because I have nothing to compare it to. We only have a few frames of the sex scene with Jieun but one thing is pretty obvious - he’s not kissing her. She’s talking quite a bit, so it appears he hasn’t even BEEN kissing her. I have no idea at what point he started his seduction and I find the idea of him kissing her both likely and unlikely - what I’m saying is, I have no idea what kissing means to Sangwoo.

Because he kisses Bum a lot. And in kinda gross circumstances. Chapter 2 - mouth full of porridge. Mouth full of vomit. Ick. Kissing is definitely something that leads to sex in his eyes, and therefore it is a sexual act. I wish I had a stronger point to make with this, but I don’t. It’s just, it’s something I’ve noticed and has been drawn and framed to be noticed and I’m wondering why. Maybe you all have ideas, and if you do, I would love to hear them.

So, we have a very sticky situation for Bum coming up. For me, I have a very hard time predicting what the fuck Bum is going to do in any certain circumstance. I can’t read him like I can Sangwoo, who comes much more naturally to me. What I do expect to see, in regards to sex and Sangwoo and especially sex and Sangwoo and Bum, is that the more intimate, the more possessive Sangwoo feels over Bum, the more likely he’s going to SHOW it.

For me, Jieun’s eventual murder will also very likely lead to an next step in the sexual relationship between Sangwoo and Bum. Does this mean penetration? I hope not, but maybe. But I can see Sangwoo absolutely losing his shit, but in the not angry way. But in the full blown out mooooooan, and maybe even the flushing. In which Sangwoo loses his very careful reserve when it comes to sex. Because to reiterate, what Sangwoo HATES more than anything else is feeling out of control. I think that IS why we don’t see Sangwoo react during sex. I think that’s why he doesn’t tend to lose his cool at all during the dinner scene, despite definitely feeling a little out of control then. I think that’s why he does lose his complete shit when he thinks Bum is gone. He never ever wants to feel vulnerable in the face of his own emotions in the wake of another’s actions.

So him, reacting to sex - I think that’s the way we’re expected to see intimacy/vulnerability from Sangwoo. In my reading of Sangwoo, he doesn’t experience empathy. He can’t. He won’t experience “love.” He can’t. He can experience attachment, and possession and even affection - but those are internal expressions of those feelings. And not empathetic ones. He won’t show affection to Bum because he wants Bum to feel good. He’ll show affection to Bum because he feels affectionate and wants to express that. He’ll set up elaborate murder scenarios for Bum because that’s his way of showing intimacy, when Bum would probably much rather do with a hug or a kiss or a getting the fuck away from Sangwoo.

Sex is a tool It makes Sangwoo feel good and it’s a way to lure victims into his apartment - to get them vulnerable, to physically break them down (I’m sure it is far easier to trap a woman worn out from sex than someone at their full strength. Obviously he would succeed either way, but it’s just so much easier this way and it makes him feel good.)

In a quick logical leap, I think Sangwoo gets off in the way he’s constantly surprised by Bum -without ever feeling out of control. It’s a bit of a trust thing, because he assumes (wrongly) that Bum, without fail, loves him. It makes him feel good, and feeling good happens when he has sex, so having those reactions overlap just seems like an obvious thing. It’s like “input stimulus here” “output stimulus here” but what the output is expressed in these very reptilian ways that Sangwoo understands. I feel good = sex. I feel safe = sex. I feel powerful = sex. But also, I feel out of control = fear/arousal - boner. But what he refuses to let himself feel is vulnerable so the way he actually physiologically reacts during sex is very controlled. At least until now - with Bum. Power and Control - Marina and the Diamonds.

Again, this is so long, and if you stick around to read it all, I don’t even know what to say but thanks. I hope you get a kick out of it though, and as always, please send me your thoughts. I truly enjoy the mental exercises I get when thinking about this stuff.

#killing stalking #killing stalking spoilers #in which i talk about things #like sex

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theworstbob · 7 years

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yellin’ at songs, week 26

capsule reviews of the songs which debuted on the 7 July 2017 and 8 July 2017 editions of the billboard hot 100

7.7.2007

61) "Lost," Faith Hill

"With everything I have doesn't mean a thing if it's without you." I. Don't know what that means? I could stare at some of these lyrics and not really understand what's happening other than I'm supposed to believe in love and all its power, which is probably the most we can expect out of a late-career Faith Hill song. It's not great, but, y'know, just as I feel weird about trying to assess Fifth Harmony songs, I feel like Faith Hill songs are reaching for that Aunt With Too Many Inspirational Quote Pillows demographic, and I have to respect the choice she had made to service this demographic. This was someone's third wedding song, and I think that's beautiful. (Also, credit where credit's due, Kara DioGuardi co-wrote a song I tolerated.)

65) "Never Wanted Nothing More," Kenny Chesney

This is a weird one. Because it's Kenny Chesney, but it's also Chris Stapleton, but it's also Chris Stapleton writing a Kenny Chesney song. It's complicated. Like, you look at Kanye West's early discography, you see names you know, Jermaine Dupri, Goodie Mob, Lil' Kim, Nas, Alicia Keys, you see respectable names, you can see how the songs Kanye produced would fit into the greater Kanye catalogue. There's a difference, of course, between production and writing, but early Kanye doesn't feel like producer-for-hire. This song is written so outside the voice I've come to associate with Chris Stapleton that I can't imagine him ever writing it. Like, this song fits in with the Chris Stapleton origin story because it shows Chris Stapleton has been doing this thing for a long time and was good at it, but that's the only way it fits. This is just a Kenny Chesney song that Chris Stapleton happened to write, whereas "Izzo" is a Jay-Z song with a Kanye beat. Country music's weird as hell, man. I ain't gonna get it.

69) "Dance Tonight," Paul McCartney

it's gotta be pretty nuts to know that your status as one of the greatest songwriters of all time is so secure that there is absolutely nothing you could do to remove yourself from that pedestal. Like, the only reason I can find for a song like this (read: a bad one) being made from a dude at this level is, he was bored and wanted to see if people would call it an extraordinary songwriting feat if he just dropped a track like "it's nice when people have fun!"

74) "Let It Go," Keyshia Cole ft./Missy Elliott & Lil Kim

Pretty good! A little subdued for my taste, a little too restrained for a song about letting go, but I think we've talked about how I'm not naturally drawn to R&B simply because the genre is so subdued and restrained, so it's probably my own fault I'm not as into this song as I feel I should be. Like, I like all the names involved, I thnk Keyshia Cole was a pretty decent singer, I like the ingredients of the song, but someone put them together with a different palette than mine in mind. Ugh, and that's just the worst, how the world doesn't make enough things for white males to enjoy. This song, though, I think it's a'ight! I have no complaints about it specifically!

91) "How Do I Breathe," Mario

...i swear i've heard this exact same r&b song at least twice, though. like, "let it go" had missy on the track, it was cool. this is another song about a man who is sad his girlfriend left him and wishes she would come back. mario's a more engaging vocalist than the joes and tanks of 2007, like i'd like to hear him sing a better song, but... man, this week is just songs i didn't need to hear, and not in the sense that pop music is bad and i shouldn't try to listen to this much of it, more that 2007 just kinda said, "hey, here's some shit you've already heard from us, have fun." i feel i don't need to have an opinion on this song because i've already had an opinion on some stargate joint or another, y'know?

97) "Doomsday Clock," Smashing Pumpkins

hey speaking of unnecessary, another smashing pumpkins song! and not even one i need to begrudgingly admit is good, this one is the thing i expected smashing pumpkins to sound like, billy corgan nasally whining about some bullshit or another while the guitar plods along dutifully. nothing here is innovative, nothing here takes smashing pumpkins and frames it in a new light for me, this is just a song that exists. these songs all exist.

Well, obviously, since we’re hitting the halfway point, we’re gonna be doing something special! ...Or I would forget how to count and not realize this was the halfway point. Anyway, no Top 20s because nothing changed. 2017!

8 July 2017

4) "Wild Thoughts," by DJ Khaled ft./Rihanna & Bryson Tiller

I don't believe anything Bryson Tiller says on this song. My understanding of Bryson Tiller was that he was a simpering sad boy who sang about his feelings, so when he comes on a track where he a) has to present himself as an equal to Rihanna and b) has to make the argument that he is a worthy sexual partner for Rihanna, it's hard to take him seriously, because all he's done before suggests he's not this person. Like, someone thought of Bryson Tiller was the answer to the question "Who could make Rihanna think wild thoughts?" and that's just amazing to me. Literally anyone else would have been better. Are we not ready to lean so fully into the Latin trend that we'll give Luis Fonsi a starring role in a DJ Khaled song? Are we just this over Miguel? Hell, we know from "Run Up" that PARTYNEXTDOOR's capable of being occasionally interesting, why not him! This song could've been something, but man, that Bryson Tiller feature sinks it.

51) "Feels," by Calvin Harris ft./Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry & Big Sean

I appreciate the work Calvin Harris puts in to making pop music funky again, I think he's aware there's a direct line in music history from him to The Chainsmokers and he's doing his best to distance himself from that, but there's a limit to how much I can enjoy a song with the line "I know you're not afraid to catch feels with me." Like, this is another good song, Calvin Harris has been doing work this spring/early summer, it's just, one of them has to be the worst, and it's this one with its tumblr-ass hook. I wish I had a more legit reason to not be into this song. Nope. It's just that one word. I don't even necessarily mind that word, it's just, an entire song built around that word isn't a party I wanna attend.

61) "First Day Out," by Kodak Black

Nope!

83) "Relationship," by Young Thug ft./Future

Comparing Young Thug to the other dudes in his genre is like comparing a wasp to a group of bumblebees. They're sort of the same thing, but Young Thug is so much different and fearsome. ...This isn't his best song? This is the song you'd expect to chart off the album given the pedigree, but also, it isn't, because there's so many other, better songs on the album? But we should be evaluating this song for what it is, not what it isn't. "I put my dick inside her mouth before she act." Neat! Of all the many things Young Thug is, he is not perfect.

89) "Feel it Still," by Portugal. The Man

I AM IN FAVOR OF ALL THE BRASS 2017 HAS GIVEN ME THIS YEAR. The only instance of a brass instrument I remember from 2007 is the "Get Buck" beat, and I am so thrilled with the occasional blasts on this song. It's a fun song by a band I know I've heard about at some point but didn't expect to see here. I thought Portugal. The Man was ponderous indie nonsense, but yo, if they got one of these in them, I'm down to see what else they got. It's weird when it turns out bands everyone says is good make good songs. Like, what happened to bands like the Arcade Fire, who just whined monotonously over jingle-jangling?

100) "Real Hitta," by Piles ft./Kodak Black

...Are you. Guys. Are you serious? Piles? PIIIIIIILES? Of all the fucking. So many rappers hit in 2007, and the one y'all dredged up to make the Deacde Dance Club, literally the week I introduce that as a thing, is maybe the worst one, the one whose name I didn't even bother to spell right, I thought he was so yesterday. I'm not gonna listen to it for what I hope are obvious reasons, but that doesn't mean we can't jump into the AZ Lyrics page. "All that ass she got back there startin' to look like a Pamper" This is the least sexy way to describe a butt since "My Humps." "Sex game undefeated, think I'm 100-0" ...Has Piles only fucked 100 times? I mean. Hey, nothin' wrong with that, I'm not here to prude shame anyone or promote promiscuity or whatever, but even in the last 10 years, 3,650 days, Piles has only fucked once every five weeks or so? Or is he just on a winning streak, like, that's how many times in a row he's ejaculated? (I'm assuming he's not bragging that, every time he has sex, he makes the woman cum. I don't think Piles has ever had a woman's pleasure in mind when setting about his business.) This is a bizarre boast. "Biggest thing he ever did for you was take you to Chili's." ...Okay. Okay, that's pretty good. "That lil pussy was so sorry, I call it minimum wage." You know what fuck it I'll take gross political commentary. Piles had two lines I enjoyed out of the context of the song! There may be hope for all of us y -- oh right Kodak Black "I'ma come through, and I'ma fuck ya like the police lookin' for me" Well, that's about as tone deaf as I expected, alright, well, there's hope for some of us.

Decade Dance Party

...Um. 31) Piles We said that it’s hard to have two hits ten years apart. What this list presupposes is... What if it isn’t?

Who Won the Week?

A few weeks ago, there was like a three-year stretch where the Houston Texans and the Cincinatti Bengals would play each other in the football playoffs. They were boring games and bad to watch, and while the Bengals and Texans were good enough to have made the playoffs, it kinda sucked that one of the two got to go to the next round while a different, more fun team to watch gets eliminated, or was left out of the playoffs entirely. “Feel It Still” is a fine song and is definitely better than “Let it Go,” but like. “Feel it Still” shouldn’t be the champion for the week. I dunno, kinda meh for both weeks, 2017 takes it because I don’t think “Feel it Still” should get demerits for all the Kodak Black I didn’t listen to. So.

2017: 14 2007: 12

Next week, 2007 is giving us what is indisputably greater than all The Beatles songs put together. (I linked to that specific post because gosh that dude adding his two cents at the end is the reason op exists.) But will it be better than the alt-country song and the indie-rock song I for some reason ranked over “Umbrella?” ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

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