#I don’t know why I suddenly need to read it again

[mimiiiiiiiiisstuff]

"Here"

Ok yall I'm back with chapter 7!! Hopefully this posts bc it wasn't working yesterday. Sorry if it's confusing, I rewrote it like 5 times! I tried not to use {y/n} but i mightve slipped up! Hope ya'll enjoy!! The plot is finally moving!! Lmk if you have any questions. Likes, reblogs, and asks motivate me! I love when yall send me your ideas and comments and asks! Wish me luck, I'm posting this and then taking my math exam! If you don't like it, don't read, stop sending mean asks and submissions!

Breakfast the next morning was horrible.

The awkward silence lingered, thick with unspoken words and eyes that felt like they were scanning every inch of you. You could feel their weight on your back, like a thousand invisible hands pushing you deeper into your seat, forcing you to stay in this uncomfortable moment.

You could already feel the heat rising in your chest, but you bit your lip, forcing yourself to take a deep breath. You weren’t going to lose your cool—not yet.

Damian’s gaze was fixed on you, like he was waiting for some kind of reaction, his lips pressed into a thin line. You knew what he was expecting: compliance. Submission. He expected you to shrink back under his scrutiny. And yet, there was something oddly satisfying about not giving him that satisfaction.

Instead, you focused on the plate in front of you, stabbing your fork into the pancakes with far too much force. You were still hungry, but the food felt like cardboard in your mouth, tasteless and dry, even though Alfred’s cooking was always the best.

Bruce was still watching you, his eyes heavy with a kind of expectant patience, like he was just waiting for you to crack. You could feel the tension in the room like a ticking clock, the seconds stretching longer than you’d ever thought possible.

"Why are you all staring at me?" you finally muttered, breaking the silence, your voice low but biting. You didn't look up from your plate, but you could feel the eyes on you. They all thought they could break you. They thought you were some fragile little thing, someone they could fix with their pity and their "family time." But you weren’t. You’d stopped being that person a long time ago.

Dick was the first to speak, his voice softer than usual, like he was trying to tread lightly around you. “We’re just trying to connect, I know it’s been a long time, and things got… complicated, but we don’t want to lose you again. Not after all this time.”

His words weren’t as comforting as he probably thought they were. In fact, they made your skin crawl. He was trying to be kind, but it felt forced, like he was reading from a script. You didn’t need this. Not from him, not from any of them. You wanted them to stop pretending like they could fix everything with a few hugs, a couple of "we missed you"s.

“I didn’t ask for this,” you said quietly, your voice almost a whisper, but it carried a weight. “I didn’t ask to be here. And I didn’t ask to be part of this family anymore.”

Bruce’s jaw tightened at your words, but he didn’t say anything at first. You could feel the flicker of something in his expression—guilt, maybe. Regret. He was looking at you, like he was trying to see the person you used to be. The person you had been before everything fell apart.

You weren’t that person anymore. And he needed to understand that.

“You don’t get to decide that,” Damian suddenly said, his voice a little too sharp. “You can’t just shut us out like this. You’re still a part of this family. Whether you like it or not.”

Your eyes shot up to meet his. " I can shut you all out, I can do whatever I want” you snapped, the frustration leaking through. “You’ve done it to me for years.”

Dick’s brow furrowed, his lips pulling into a frown. For a second, he looked genuinely taken aback by your words, “You don’t understand,” he said, his tone quieter but still laced with an edge. “We didn’t abandon you. Not on purpose. You think we didn’t care? You just never seemed to need help.”

You could feel the sting of his words, but you pushed it down, locking it away. You weren’t going to break. Not for him. Not for any of them. Of course you never needed help, you were too busy trying to be perfect.

“I was just a kid,” you replied, your voice a little rawer, louder than you intended. “And I was ignored by the people who were supposed to be there for me. So fuck you and fuck your family time too.”

There was a long pause, everyone looked around in shock, not expecting you to be so combatant and then Jason finally spoke up, his tone softer than usual, less teasing. “We’re trying, okay? I'm trying. We’re not perfect, and I’m not asking you to just forget everything. But we want to try. Let us try.”

You shot him a look, your eyes narrowing. “Trying isn’t good enough,” you muttered, your voice tight. “Not when it’s years too late. I don't want scraps of love anymore, not when i've had the real deal.”

Everyone seemed to quiet at the last part of your statement, suspicious of what it meant and from who you received "love" from. What convinced you that you didn't need them anymore?

“Then what do you want?” Tim interjected, his voice suddenly sharper, more direct than before. “What do you want from us? We’re here, and we’re trying to make it right. But you’ve got to meet us halfway.”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to tell them that nothing would ever be good enough, that the damage was already done. But you didn’t. Instead, you just stared at Tim, meeting his eyes with a challenge of your own. You didn’t owe them answers. Not anymore.

“I don’t know,” you said finally, your voice quieter now, almost defeated. “I don’t know what I want.”

It was the truth. You didn’t know what you wanted. You didn’t know if there was anything they could do to fix things. But one thing was certain: you didn’t want to stay in this mansion, suffocated by their expectations. You didn’t want to play along with their idea of a happy family.

Before anyone could respond, you stood up abruptly, pushing your chair back with a loud scrape against the floor.

“Don’t worry about me,” you said, turning on your heel. “I’ll figure it out on my own. I always have.”

You heard Duke’s soft voice in the background, calling after you, but you didn’t stop. You just walked out of the dining room, your heart pounding in your chest as you made your way toward the staircase.

As you climbed the stairs, you could feel their eyes on your back, the weight of their presence pressing down on you, but you didn’t care anymore. You didn’t care if they watched. You didn’t care if they were disappointed. You just wanted to be alone.

That day, you stayed in bed. You ignored every knock on your door, every phone call, every beg and plead to come down and eat. You just wanted to be alone.

You woke up to the quiet hum of the manor, but it was far from peaceful. The silence was suffocating, a constant reminder that there was no escaping them—not now. You tried to pretend the night before hadn’t happened, that their constant attention wasn’t as overwhelming as it was, that you were going back to New York soon. Unfortunately, fantasies don't become realities, especially when reality is chasing them down.

Every one of them was here, waiting. Watching.

Bruce stood near the staircase, his presence larger than life. His eyes lingered on you as if he expected something. You weren’t sure what. Maybe gratitude, maybe obedience. He said nothing, just watched you with that expression of silent insistence.

“Good morning,” he said in that deep, calm voice of his, but there was something off about it. There was a layer of expectation beneath his words, like he was waiting for something from you.

You ignored him, brushing past him without a second glance. You didn’t want to engage, didn’t want to pretend like everything was okay. But it didn’t matter. They were all around you now, slowly closing in.

Tim was the next to corner you. You could feel his calculating eyes on you the moment you stepped into the kitchen. He had a cup of coffee in hand, but his focus was on you. Just you.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, the question seemingly casual but the undertone too sharp, too analytical. It wasn’t just a question, it was a probe, a way for him to gauge how much control he had over you.

You rolled your eyes, reaching for the fridge to grab something that could distract you, something that could make the reality of this house feel a little less like a cage. But the moment your hand touched the door, he was there, standing far too close, watching you, almost breathing down your neck.

“You know,” Tim said, his voice low, “we can talk today. If you want. We need to keep your abilities in check, make sure you’re safe, protected. ” His tone lingered on that last word, like he was reminding you that you were under his watch now.

You hated how calmly he said it. It made your skin crawl.

Steph was next, adding onto what Tim said with her stupid signature smile, "He's right y'know. It's dangerous out there. For you especially."

You ignored them both. Payback for their years of negligence.

Tim just stood there for a moment, his eyes scanning your face. “Fine, be like that,” he muttered, before walking away, but you knew he wasn’t done. He never was.

And then there was Dick. His usual cheerful demeanor didn’t falter as he breezed into the room, but it was too cheerful, too bright. He was pushing something, forcing something, like he was trying to manufacture happiness out of thin air, trying to remind you of who you were, who you used to be.

“Hey! How about we do something today?” he said, his voice far too eager. “We could go out and grab coffee, breakfast, anything. I know you’re probably not feeling it, but you need to get out of this house for a bit.”

You wanted tear him apart for thinking you could just “forget” everything and fall back into some comfortable, happy routine. But you didn’t. Instead, you just nodded stiffly, walking past him without acknowledging his words.

“Come on,” he tried again, following you, “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“Just drop it, Dick,” you said, your voice like ice. “I’m not going anywhere. Ya'll made that pretty clear.”

His face faltered for just a moment before he plastered that damn grin back on. But you saw it, the frustration and determination behind his eyes. He wasn’t going to stop. None of them were.

Jason leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, watching the scene unfold with a smirk you couldn’t quite decipher. “Ah, the princess finally comes out her tower,” he teased. “What? Got tired of throwing shit around in there?"

You narrowed your eyes, feeling the heat in your chest rise. Jason always had a way of pissing you off with his words, making everything seem like a joke, but you knew there was something darker underneath. He wanted to get a rise out of you, he craved it. He wanted you to go back to being his annoying little sister with anger issues.

“Shut up, Jason,” you muttered, turning away from him, not caring that you weren’t hiding your anger anymore. “I’m not in the mood for your bullshit today.”

Jason just laughed, but there was a hint of something softer there, something that felt almost... like concern, buried beneath the sarcasm.

“Stop,” you snapped, but before you could escape, Damian stepped in.

Damian was the most direct, the most unforgiving in his attempts to bond. He stepped into your path without hesitation, his posture rigid and eyes narrowed, as if daring you to push him away.

“You don’t get it, do you?” he said, his voice low, yet intense. “You think you’re some rebellious teenager trying to escape, but you’re not. You don’t get a choice in this.” His words weren’t harsh, they were final, like he had already decided your fate. And you were staying here, whether you liked it or not.

“You’re wrong,” you spat, your voice venomous. "I don’t need you.”

Damian tilted his head slightly, an unsettling calm settling over him. “You’ll need us eventually. Whether you want to or not. And you'll be grateful we never let you go.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, but you didn’t let him see it. Not yet. His audacity was insane. To think that you'd be thankful for being trapped in Gotham. Never.

As you tried to walk past him, you collided with Cass, who was standing silently behind you, her eyes filled with that knowing, unspoken concern. She's so creepy. She didn’t say a word but you could feel her presence, like a weight pressing down on you.

Cass placed a hand gently on your arm, her touch barely more than a whisper, but it was enough to make you freeze.

Why are they acting like this? What changed these two weeks?

"You’re safe here," she said quietly, her words cutting through the tension in a way that made your skin crawl. It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a command.

You pulled away sharply, nearly punching her, your fists clenched at your sides. “I'm not happy.” you said, more to yourself than to her.

But she didn’t respond. Of course she didn’t. Her eyes just followed you, and that was worse than any words.

Barbara was close by, but she didn’t need to be loud. She never did. She had this way of talking in soft tones that made everything sound so reasonable. So loving.

“You don’t have to keep shutting us out,” she said gently. “You can talk to us. We just want to make sure you’re okay. All of us. We care about you.”

You felt the weight of her words crash down on you, suffocating you with their sweetness, with their hidden demands. Care. It was just another word for control, for keeping you locked in their world, locked in their gaze. If they cared, they would let you be happy in New York.

“Just stop,” you whispered, more to yourself than to her. “Just... stop.”

You sat in your room for hours again, ignoring everyone.

Bruce had spent the last few days carefully watching you, keeping his distance just enough to make you think you had some semblance of freedom, but now he was ready to step in, to claim his role as your father.

He had promised himself when you left for France, he would make it right. That he would make up for everything he had missed, for every moment he had abandoned you for the greater good of Gotham. But now, as the silence stretched between you two, he was determined to close that distance.

You had just returned to your room after another breakfast you didn’t want to be part of when you heard the knock.

It was Bruce.

“You’re not busy, are you?” he asked, his voice almost too warm, too hopeful.

You shot him a glance, wondering if he truly thought this would work. After everything that had happened, after all the times he had failed you, he still thought a few “father-daughter” moments could make things better.

"I guess not," you replied flatly, stepping aside to let him in, your mind already racing with how to get through whatever this was going to be.

The moment he entered, Bruce seemed to settle, as though he had a plan in mind, one he was eager to execute.

“Good,” he said, looking around the room, his eyes scanning for something, maybe an opportunity. Then, he turned back to you, hands clasped behind his back. “I thought today, we could spend some time together. Just us. It’s been a while since we’ve done something like this, hasn’t it? School starts soon and you'll get busy, you won't have time for me anymore.”

He was trying to joke around.

School. More like prison. The more he mentioned school, the angrier you got. You'd never done something like this. He did it with all his other kids though, with Tiffany. As you thought of her, all ideas of being nice to Bruce, of trying to bond with your father, flew out the window.

The words felt like a slap, and you couldn’t keep the bite from your tone. “Is that what you think this is? Quality time? You really think we’re just gonna pick up where we left off? Think you can change the past with brunch?”

Bruce’s eyes softened for a moment, his expression cracking, but only slightly. The guilt was there, unmistakable, but it didn’t erase the unspoken expectation behind his words. His voice became more gentle, more insistent.

“I know it’s not easy,” he said, his voice steady but laced with something else—something almost pleading, though he would never admit it. “But I want to make this right. You deserve this. You deserve... me. We can go out, maybe catch a movie, grab lunch, talk, whatever you want. I just want to be with you. Like you always talked about.”

You didn’t respond immediately. For a moment, you just stood there, frozen, as the weight of his words crashed over you. It was nice watching him beg for once. You had always wanted this. Wanted him. Wanted him to be a father, to care for you like he did the others. But that was before you tasted freedom, before you tried love.

Now, the idea of spending time with him felt like a betrayal to everything you had tried to protect: your own independence, your own space, your freedom. You didn’t want to be a part of his perfect little family anymore.

“No.” you muttered, unable to stop the anger from flooding your chest. “You really think that’s going to fix things? You think I just forgot what you did? Because i'm nice sometimes?”

Bruce didn’t flinch at your words, didn’t even show any sign of anger. Instead, he just stepped closer, his presence filling up the room, looming over you like an impenetrable wall. His tone remained patient, almost too controlled, like he was walking on eggshells.

“I know I can’t undo the past,” he said quietly, a trace of regret slipping through. “But I can be here for you now. I won’t make the same mistakes. I promise.”

A cold laugh escaped your lips. “You already have.”

You could feel your pulse quicken, the anger bubbling up inside you, but you pushed it back. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you break.

Bruce’s eyes softened even further, the guilt twisting in his expression, and for a moment, you saw something else there—desperation. As if he was begging you to let him in, to give him just one chance to prove he wasn’t the same person who had abandoned you for years.

“We could just sit and talk,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “No expectations. No agenda. Just us. I’m not trying to fix you or make everything perfect. I just want to spend time with my daughter.”

Something in you snapped at the mention of daughter. The word that had haunted you for years. The word that had felt like a lie every time he used it. You clenched your fists, struggling to keep your composure.

“No,” you said, your voice flat, cutting through the tension like a knife. “You don’t get it. I don’t want this anymore. I don't want you anymore.”

Bruce’s face faltered, just for a moment, before he recovered. But the hurt was there, tucked in the corners of his eyes. “I'm sorry. I hope you know that.”

You shook your head, not wanting to hear it anymore. The damage was done. He couldn’t erase it. No amount of “father-daughter time” was going to make you forget what it had been like when he wasn’t there for you.

“Stop,” you snapped, taking a step back. “Just stop. You don’t get to do this, Bruce. You don’t get to waltz in here and act like everything is fine. Like everything’s fixed. You’ve ruined it. All of it.”

Bruce opened his mouth, but no words came. You could see the conflict in his eyes, the struggle to understand where it had gone wrong.

“I’m just trying to make up for it,” he said quietly, but the sound of it made your stomach churn. The way his voice cracked slightly at the end of the sentence only made it worse.

And you hated yourself for feeling even a little guilty for saying no.

But no. You wouldn’t let him do this. Not again.

“I don’t want your apologies,” you spat, your tone sharp, venomous. “And I don’t want your ‘time.’ You don’t get to play the father now.”

Without waiting for a response, you turned on your heel and walked toward the door. You needed to escape. You needed space. You needed to breathe. You were leaving your own room to get away from him.

Bruce’s voice stopped you, and you felt the pull of his desperate plea in the back of your mind. His words clung to you, too heavy, too much. “I'll go, don't leave. This is your room. I just want you to know I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

You watched your father walk away, and only after he left did you fall to your bed and cry.

The next days before school were a blur. You spent them locked in your room, alternating between crying on the phone with Ariel, avoiding the family when you went down to sneak food to your room, trying to butter up Bruce and convince him to let you go back to boarding school, and online shopping.

Yet somehow Monday morning you were up at 5:30 getting into the shower.

The thought of returning to Gotham Prep made your stomach churn. How could you go back to a place where you had no true friends? A school where you’d been bullied by half your grade. Where Tim pretended you didn’t exist, Damian and Tiffany ridiculed you in front of everyone, and Duke ignored you like you were invisible. Where you ate lunch in the bathroom, alone and cried in the janitor's closet like a loser.

But you weren't the same girl who walked through those halls last year. No, this year was going to be different. You were different.

Last night, as you scrolled through Tik Tok, a new idea formed in your mind. You’d had enough of being invisible. It was time for a change.

You had a plan.

You found the bleach blonde hair dye in your bathroom, hidden away in the back of a drawer. You didn’t need permission, and you certainly didn’t need anyone to hold your hand.

By the time the dye had set and you’d rinsed it out, you felt like a new person. It was the kind of hair that would make people stop and stare.

You woke at 5:30 and hopped in the shower, you wanted to take your time getting ready. You plugged in your pink dyson and curled your new blonde hair, it would fall into a blow out later in the day, complaining about your family to Ariel and Claire. You spent the next two hours getting ready, perfecting your makeup. You’d learned to contour, learned to do your eyeliner just right, and became a bronzer girl over the summer. You grabbed your favorite Chanel palette and messily applied dark eyeshadow in smoky charcoal, blending seamlessly into the crease of your eyes and eyeliner. You smudged on a bold dark burgundy lipshine that drew attention. You weren’t trying to be anyone but yourself, your new self.

Then came the clothes.

You'd already shortened your Gotham Prep skirt by more than a few inches. It was below your knees and now it showed off the thighs you spent all summer tanning. You wanted to make a statement, and if they didn’t like it, that was their problem. The white blouse, originally oversized, was now form-fitting, you wanted it to give that one Bella Hadid picture. You left the top buttons undone, the tie hanging loosely around your neck in a deliberate, I-don’t-care gesture. You could feel the fabric clinging to your skin, reminding you of how much control you were regaining. You looked like the kind of girls you used to call whores last year.

You looked through your drawers for your signature jewelry you collected over the summer and during school. Big gold hoops on your ears, studs in all your other ear piercings, a tiffany heart necklace that rested on your exposed collar bone, and multiple bracelets stacked on each arm, jingling as you moved.

As you stood in front of the mirror, you smiled. You looked good.

Lastly you grabbed your Isabel Marant sneakers, chic and effortless, and slipped them on. They were expensive, but it wasn’t about the price—it was about the look. The vibe. Then, more than few spritzes of perfume. Something sharp, and not too sweet. You wanted to make a lasting impression, to turn heads as you walked.

By the time you were done, you felt invincible. The girl staring back at you was someone who didn’t care what anyone thought. You weren’t going to be bullied anymore. You were going to be the one who dictated the terms.

You walked out of your room, head held high, your heart pounding with anticipation.

Downstairs, the Batfamily was gathered at the breakfast table, doing their usual routine. They all stopped talking the second they saw you.

You’d barely stepped into the room when the heavy silence fell over the table. Bruce looked up, his expression instantly darkening. His lips pressed together in a thin line, his gaze flicking over your appearance.

“Is this what you're wearing?” His voice was tight, a hint of disapproval slipping into the words.

You gave him a look that said everything. “Is something wrong? I thought it was cute.” Your tone was soft, teasing, but with a bite underneath. You weren’t asking for his permission. You were daring him to say something.

Tim, who had been looking at his phone, blinked up at you with wide eyes. He’d been so engrossed in whatever he was reading that he didn’t even seem to know how to respond. His fingers hovered over his screen, unsure whether or not to comment.

“Are you seriously going to school looking like that?” His voice was tight, an edge of surprise and confusion beneath it.

You crossed your arms, leaning back in the doorway. “What? You don’t like it? Your friends might.” You knew how to unsettle him. That much you were sure of. You wanted to push his buttons, make him paranoid.

Dick was the next to react. He put down his coffee, glancing over at Bruce before looking back at you. “I get that you’re, you know, trying something new,” he began carefully, but the unease in his voice was clear. He was trying to be supportive, trying to understand, but it didn’t take much to see how disapproving he felt. “But—”

“But what, Dick?” you interrupted with a sudden change of attitude. “You don’t like it? That’s a shame. It's so crazy I literally never asked.”

His mouth opened, but no words came out. He simply shifted in his seat, uncomfortable.

Jason snorted, clearly not impressed. “You trying to turn heads or get yourself in trouble? Skirt's too short, change that shit.” His voice was low, but it had a sharpness to it now. His gaze scanned you from head to toe, his mouth curving into an almost imperceptible frown.

You weren’t fazed by his dismissive and angry attitude. If anything, it made you want to lean into it more. “I'm not changing, you want alonger skirt? You go put one on and come talk.” You shrugged nonchalantly, your tone saccharine sweet. "And I don't want trouble, but i don't mind it."

“Yeah, I can tell,” Jason drawled, eyeing the large hoops dangling from your ears. “Nice hoops. Real classy.” His lips twitched, mocking the exaggerated size of them. "I didn’t realize big was your thing now."

You smirked, reaching up to tug at one of the hoops, the gesture playful, but intending to piss him off. “Big boys like big things, Jason,” you replied smoothly, without missing a beat. “And you know what they say, the bigger the hoop, the bigger the....” You were quickly cut off before you could finish talking and ruining everyone's apittite.

Damian, ever the hater, set down his cereal with a dramatic flare, slamming it down and glared at you. “You look like you belong in a cheap nightclub, not Gotham Prep. Should we drop you off on the nearest corner?” His words were sharp, cutting—typical Damian, though you could hear the pure anger in his voice.

You chuckled softly, not phased in the slightest. You'd rather be at a cheap nightclub honestly. “I’m just bringing a little fun to Gotham, Damian. You should try it sometime, maybe then you wouldn't be so hateful all the time." Your tone was uninterested, like his insults weren't even worth your time.

Steph and Cass exchanged a look, both clearly unsure of how to react. Cass, as always, seemed more interested in watching you than engaging, while Steph’s gaze flickered between you and the rest of the family. Barbra was just staring at you in disbelief.

“Is it really that bad?” Steph finally asked, though her voice wasn’t quite as gentle as it could have been. There was a nervous edge to it. “I mean, you’re, uh, pulling it off…” She trailed off, clearly unsure how to proceed.

You ignored her, who cares what she thinks? Her and the rest of them are irrelevant. If you like it then so what. Her comment did make your lips twitch into a smile subconsciously though.

Alfred, who’d been quietly observing the exchange, cleared his throat before standing. “Miss, I must say, it’s a rather bold change. But perhaps not one that will be received well by the staff and teachers.” His words were polite, but you could hear the disapproval in the undertones.

You gave him a bright smile, not at all sorry. “I’ll take my chances, Alfred. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I've played this game before.”

Bruce, who had been seething quietly, finally stood up from the table. His usual calm demeanor was replaced with a tense frustration. “Go change. Now.”

You raised an eyebrow, your lips curving into a slow, deliberate smile. “Make me.”

There was a flicker of surprise in his eyes, then something else, something more. He clenched his fists for a moment, clearly fighting to maintain control. But you weren’t backing down. Not this time.

“I’m not going to let you walk out of here like that,” Bruce snapped.

You didn’t miss a beat. “You won't let me do anything. I go to school like this or I don't go at all. And since when do you care?” You crossed your arms and stuck your foot out, pouting like a child, staring him down waiting for him to surrender.

Bruce hesitated for a moment, his expression softening ever slightly. “Fine. But you’re pushing it. You're not going like this tomorrow.”

Bruce 0, You 1.

Jason, who had been watching the exchange with interest, chuckled. “You really know how to work him, don’t you?”

You flashed a smile at him, leaning back in your chair as you stood up and grabbed your bag, ready to leave the room. “Come on, let’s get out of here. We're already late. Jason, you driving?” Jason was the most fun, and he wasn't as nosy as Dick or Barbra.

Jason raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m driving us all today. Come on, let’s go before Dad starts pulling rank.”

With a dramatic sigh, Bruce reluctantly agreed, shooting a last, disapproving look at your outfit before turning toward the door.

The engine of Jason’s car hummed steadily, but the air inside was anything but calm. You had decided to make this ride your moment. If you were uncomfy, you'd make them all feel the same. The others in the car—Damian, Tim, and Duke—were bracing themselves for your usual attitude, though this time you could tell there was a noticeable edge to the tension.

Jason, who was driving, was trying his best to keep his eyes on the road, but you knew he was glaring at you through the rearview mirror. Damian was next to you in the backseat, arms crossed and eyes narrowed, like he was ready to throw down at any second. Tim sat on the other side, buried in his homework, something to do with Gotham Prep’s ever-pressing academic requirements. Nerd.

And Duke? Duke was the least bothered, but you were sure he was mentally rolling his eyes at you the moment you stepped into the car.

You were far too busy with your phone, flipping through TikTok videos and checking your DMs, but every so often, you’d glance at the boys just to see their reactions.

“So…” You leaned forward a little, propping your elbow on the middle console. Your voice was light, casual, but you could feel the energy shift around you. You knew this would get under Jason’s skin. “You think any of the boys at Gotham Prep will notice my glow up? ”

You heard a long, heavy sigh from the driver’s seat before Jason muttered, “She's in that phase huh,"

But you weren’t listening. You were too busy smirking at Tim, who barely looked up from his book. You could feel his eyes narrow, probably out of sheer annoyance. “I mean, it’s inevitable, right?” you continued. “I'm 16 now, I'm better looking. Is there any fresh meat since I left? Anyone interesting, new friends maybe??"

Jason was silent for a moment, but you could see the grip on the steering wheel tightening in his peripheral. He wasn’t going to let you get away with this.

"Listen," Jason said, his voice calm but with that sharp edge he always used when he was trying not to lose his temper. "I don’t want to hear about boys, okay? Not today, not ever."

You blinked dramatically, as if you were the one being attacked. “Oh, come on, Jason, don’t be such a buzzkill. I’m not doing anything. I just wanna know if anyone’s looking.” You reached forward and pressed the button to connect your phone to the car’s Bluetooth, your nails clicking loudly across the screen as you searched for the perfect song to add to the atmosphere.

You knew you were getting to him. Jason was always so serious when it came to boys, always so guarded, especially when it came to you. It was fun getting under his skin. He glanced over his shoulder at you, but you were already half-distracted by your phone.

“Relax, Jase,” you shot back, ignoring his glare. “I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m just curious. It’s just—boys.”

You needed something to stop the ache that came with your new powers.

“Don’t make me pull this car over,” Jason threatened, his eyes flicking to the rearview mirror again.

You laughed softly, loving how easily you could provoke him. You leaned back in your seat, stretching out your legs, and noticed Damian watching you like he was deciding whether to strangle you with his own scarf.

“Damian, you’re so serious,” you sigh, you'd been ignoring him lately but you forgot how easy he is to provoke. “You know, you should loosen up. Boys are fun to look at, and to—” You cut yourself off before you could finish the sentence, letting the tension simmer.

Damian’s face twisted in that way he did when he was trying to pretend you didn’t bother him. “I don’t care what you do with boys,” he muttered. “But if you think I’m going to sit in this car while you talk about them like you’re some kind of—”

“Oh, no,” you interrupted with a teasing smile, “Not some kind of what? Some kind of what?” You stretched your legs a little further, drawing more attention to the hem of your skirt as you adjusted yourself in your seat. Making it even shorter now that Bruce wasn't here. You felt the eyes of your brothers boring into you, especially Jason's. “Honestly, Damian, lighten up. If you stopped being such a little grumpy loser all the time, you’d get more attention from girls. You have my looks y'know. ”

Tim, who had been pretending to focus on his homework this whole time, finally looked up from his papers with an exasperated sigh. “Can you not?” he asked, voice strained. “We’ve got school in twenty minutes. We don’t need a whole lecture about boys in the car.”

“Hey, no need to be so dramatic, Tim,” you said, turning your attention to your phone. You found your favorite song, the one that was guaranteed to annoy everyone in the car. “I’m just having fun. It’s not like I’m gonna do anything crazy. I just wanna know who’s gonna be there today."

You were making them all uncomfortable, and you loved it. You could already see Damian’s jaw tightening in the rearview mirror and Jason’s knuckles whitening around the steering wheel. Tim was staring at you like you were a whole new level of annoying. Even Duke rolled his eyes.

But that wasn’t enough. You needed them to be seething.

“I’m telling you right now,” Jason warned, his voice dead serious, “no boys today. No messing around. You’re going to class, and you’re staying focused. I'll check your phone if I have to. Got it?”

You put on your best innocent face, looking up from your phone as if you hadn’t just been causing a small riot in the car. “Okay, okay, Jason. No boys. I'm more into men anyway.”

Damian scoffed again, muttering something about how “pathetic” it was. You just grinned and rolled your eyes.

“Hey, you’re just jealous because girls don’t look at you,” you said, winking at him. “Maybe if you weren’t such a pain in the ass, you’d get noticed more.”

Duke, who had been quietly observing the entire conversation, finally spoke up from the backseat, his tone easygoing but with a hint of amusement. “You got any tips for me? Am I chopped liver”

You rolled your eyes at him, still not over his betrayal. “Glad you’re entertained, Duke. I don't think even I could help you.”

As you said that, you grabbed the aux cord and plugged it into your phone without asking.

Jason let out a sharp sigh, but you just grinned. “I’ve got it from here,” you said as you clicked on Drake’s Hotline Bling. The song blasted as you maxed out the volume. Damian looked like he was about to combust.

“You really are a pain in the ass, aren’t you?” Tim muttered under his breath, trying to focus on his schoolwork again.

You grinned. “I like to think of myself as entertaining.”

Duke nodded his head to the beat, tapping on his phone and Jason’s eyes darted to the rearview mirror, but you could see the playfulness in his face. He was trying not to smile, despite himself.

“I’m just saying, no boys today, no skipping, no trouble” Jason reiterated, trying to keep a semblance of control. “And if I hear anything about you messing around, we’re going back home, got it?”

You leaned back in your seat and stretched again. “Sure, sure, no boys. But just so you know, if i get into "trouble" it’s not my fault.”

Jason didn’t respond.

When you finally arrived at Gotham Prep you sighed, grabbed your bag, straightened out your skirt one last time, and nearly ran away from them so you didn't have to walk in with Duke, Damian, and Tim. “See you later, losers,” you said with a grin, pulling your sunglasses on as you walked away from the car.

Gotham Prep didn't know what's coming.

Taglist:

@strwberryglass @lilithquillete @delias-stuff @bellatrixmld @damainwayneisthebestrobin @kittzu @lilyalone @yokesmam @sanjisluvbot @facelessisnthere @dollwhite @superstarbucks

@angelunatic @littledollete @cutelittlesugarfairy @darbystrange @sxftiebee @zealous0mouse @trashlanternfish360 @galaxygirlsblog @euphoria-looney @1simpchunkygirl @a-lurking-fae @analuixxy @naturallyspontaneous @horror-lover-69 @pastel-mouse @ladyrosemone @frankie-moon3 @catley1011 @justannie18 @yandereaficionado @ithoughtthinks @asdfghjklgayblog @shadowyknightbeargoth @peche4et3chocolat @boredselkie @rogueofbullshit @iamabeaner @rosesunderthegarde

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Exploring all of the main Yellowjackets ships (and what makes each of them so compelling)

In honor of everyone fighting about which ship is the best in this fandom, I wanted to do a rundown of each of the main Yellowjackets ships and why they are all so interesting and believable in their own ways. I am only going over the most popular ships in the fandom (romantic pairings with more than 100 written works on ao3), so sorry if some of your favorite rarepairs are missing! And if you’re looking for a post all about how these relationships are so cute and healthy, this isn’t it (except for maybe Taivan). I’m mostly going to talk about how toxic, tragic, and tumultuous they all are, because that’s what we’re actually here for.

Jackieshauna

Jackieshauna is all about possession (in the best, most homoerotically intense way). Their dynamic is fraught with contradictory feelings that somehow exist alongside each other. Shauna idolizes Jackie’s magnetic influence, but she is also deeply resentful of her. Shauna adores Jackie, but she’s also suffocated by her. She feels like can’t live without Jackie, but she also can’t stand living in her shadow anymore. Jackie cares deeply for Shauna, but she also needs to own her; she needs to be validated by her position of power over Shauna.

The queer subtext in their relationship is so strong that it almost doesn’t feel like subtext at all. From the longing stares and the constant, almost hypnotic closeness to the way they interact with each other, the line between platonic love and romantic obsession blurs to the point of becoming indistinguishable. Their entire dynamic reads like a suppressed, unspoken desire, with both women using Jeff (and Travis eventually) as a way of redirecting their intense feelings towards each other. Shauna’s betrayal with Jeff doesn’t just feel like a “best friend stole my boyfriend” situation—it feels like she wanted to be Jackie, to consume her, to get as close to her as possible. And Jackie’s reaction isn’t just about the betrayal; it’s about the fact that Shauna was hers, and suddenly, she’s not. Jackie is so devastated by the knowledge of Shauna sleeping with Jeff that she no longer believes in love and loses her will to live entirely.

Shauna’s grief over Jackie isn’t just guilt; it’s, once again, possession. She talks to Jackie’s frozen corpse, hallucinates their conversations, braids her hair, does her makeup, eats her ear. It’s as if, in death, Jackie becomes more hers than she ever was in life. I just can’t get enough of the line, “I don’t know where you end and I begin.” Shauna eating Jackie is the ultimate culmination of this. It’s an act of worship—taking Jackie into herself, keeping her close in the most visceral way possible. But it’s also an act of domination—Shauna, who spent so long being beneath Jackie, is now consuming her, overpowering her in a way she never could while Jackie was alive.

There are so many layers to Jackieshauna; it’s love, admiration, obsession, ownership, codependency, resentment, and jealousy all wrapped up into one severely intense relationship. Their story is so tragic because it’s full of unspoken things—words that were never said, feelings that were never acknowledged, and a love that was never fully realized until it was too late.

One word to describe them: Possession

Their best scene: Their last fight

"Did I force you to live in my shadow, Shauna? It must be hard being this jealous all the time. You're so fucking jealous of me you can barely breathe."

“Are you quoting Beaches at me right now?”

“No…”

"I'm not jealous of you, Jackie. I feel sorry for you. Because you're weak. And I think that deep down, you know it. I’m sure everyone at home is so fucking sad to be losing their perfect little princess, but they’ll never know how tragic and boring and insecure you really are, or how high school was the best your life was ever gonna get.”

Taivan

Taivan is a peak golden retriever/black cat ship. Van is the golden retriever: loyal, endlessly optimistic (even in the face of getting nearly fatally attacked by wolves), and always trying to bring humor and lightness to situations, even when things are at their worst. She’s playful, affectionate, and follows Taissa around with unwavering devotion, even when Taissa is pushing her away or making choices that Van doesn’t agree with. This loyalty extends to Taissa’s sleepwalking, as Van’s support of her never falters even when faced with a darker, more dangerous side of Tai.

Taissa, on the other hand, is the ultimate black cat: fiercely independent, emotionally guarded, and always trying to maintain control, even when she’s clearly struggling. She’s skeptical, calculated, and reluctant to accept things that don’t fit her worldview. This initially translates into her relationship with Van, as she doesn’t want to be vulnerable, but you can tell she feels such a deep love for Van that keeps drawing her back in; unable to hide this softer side of herself. Van softens Taissa in the best way, cracking open that hard shell and allowing Taissa’s vulnerability and warmth to reveal itself. The most telling moment of this is Taissa’s willingness to enter Lottie’s spiritual circle to support Van. For someone as practical, skeptical, and grounded as Taissa, this is a significant sacrifice of her usual hard-edged pragmatism. But her desire to be there for Van, to show up in a way that is vulnerable and supportive, speaks volumes about the way Van has brought out a warmth in her that no one else ever could. Taissa’s love for Van is not just a passive emotion—it’s an active, deliberate decision to let go of control. The fact that she does this for Van is a testament to just how deeply she cares. And the Doomcoming “I want to see you” scene? That girl loves Van with her entire being.

In the adult timeline, Tai and Van cope with what happened in the wilderness in opposite ways. Taissa obsessively looks to the future and refuses to look back, while Van remains stuck in the past, refusing to move on. When they reunite in Season 2, they’re able to meet somewhere in the middle; a collision of the past and present.

It is clear that these two will do anything for each other, whether it’s fighting off a pack of wolves, tying themselves to each other at night, or going on life-threatening expeditions just to support each other. They are devoted to each other in any form. I can't wait to see them fuck on a table in the adult timeline in S3.

One word to describe them: Devotion

Their best scene: I ❤️ you (in blood)

“This is how you’re choosing to say ‘I love you’ for the first time?”

“You’re kind of leaving me hanging here, lady…”

“I love you, too.”

Lottienat

Lottie and Nat are classic narrative foils. They contrast so sharply with one another, yet in those very contrasts lie hidden similarities that shape their dynamic. Natalie was raised in a trailer park while Lottie was raised in a mansion, but they both grew up lonely and neglected by the people who are supposed to love them. Both of them feel alone and unloved, but where Natalie learns to toughen up and rely solely on herself, Lottie begins to seek connection in something bigger than herself—spirituality and the Wilderness. Natalie is the pragmatist/skeptic while Lottie is the spiritual prophet, but they both want what's best for the group. Lottie and Nat are arguably the two most compassionate, empathetic survivors, but they wield this empathy in different ways (i.e. Lottie offering Travis hope that his brother is alive, Natalie offering support through the grieving process as she guides him towards accepting his brother is dead). Together, they are two halves of a whole, each offering something the other cannot.

Lottie is both Nat's salvation and her undoing. Lottie offers Natalie the hope, purpose, and sense of belonging that she so desperately craves in her lowest moments, but in doing so, she inadvertently sets in motion a chain of events that ultimately leads to Natalie’s emotional and physical destruction. When Natalie is more alone and outcasted than she has ever been in the wilderness after the card draw, Lottie grants her the title of the group’s new leader. With this new title, Nat finally receives the love and appreciation she has always needed, but she also receives the burden of being in charge of (and therefore responsible for the actions of) a group rapidly descending into darkness, only intensifying the guilt and trauma she lives with for the rest of her life. When Natalie is on the verge of suicide, Lottie rescues her and takes her to her wellness community, which leads to Nat discovering self-forgiveness but also places her on the path towards her untimely death.

Their dynamic is defined by Lottie reaching out, trying to hold Natalie, to nurture and protect her, while Natalie fights and resists. The hypnosis/sharing shack scene is so important. It's Nat finally surrendering to Lottie (and all that Lottie represents). It's Nat allowing herself to be held (thinking of the way she lays her head in Lottie's lap, and the way she and Lottie are embracing each other as they dance around the fire), to be vulnerable and receive the love and care she never thought she deserved. It's so tragic that Lottie begins to spiral again just as Nat is beginning to trust her.

There are so many great Lottienat moments: the hint of pre-crash banter in "You don't talk shit unless someone really deserves it", Natalie comforting Lottie in the middle of the night when they sleep in the cabin for the first time, "Did you read that on a fucking fortune cookie?", Lottie always offering Nat her blood, Lottie's "I just want you to be safe", the iconic bathtub truce scene, the coronation scene with Lottie kissing Nat's hand and Nat looking up at her with awe and tears in her eyes, Lottie keeping tabs on Nat over the years to make sure she's okay, kidnapping her before she could kill herself, Natalie regressing to her teen self in the sharing shack as she rests her head on Lottie's lap, Natalie's "I think it's time for you to stop resisting", and Lottie and Nat dancing together around the fire.

One word to describe them: Tension

Their best scene: The bathtub scene

"Good game, you fucking loser."

"You talking shit? You little bitch, you ended up with nil, the same as me. But fine, good game."

Lottielee

So much of Lottie’s life leading up to the plane crash was about shame and self-confinement. Her father made her afraid of her own mind, and she spent much of her youth suppressing herself through medications and a socially acceptable mask. Laura Lee is the first person to accept Lottie as she truly is. She’s the first person to offer Lottie an alternative to her father’s control. Where Lottie has only known repression and self-doubt, Laura Lee provides a safe space where Lottie is believed. Not only does Laura Lee offer Lottie validation—she offers her a sanctuary for expression. She’s not afraid of Lottie’s abilities or her spirituality; she sees it as a part of who Lottie is, something to be embraced rather than suppressed. Lottie’s relationship with Laura Lee is foundational to her entire character; her psyche, her self-identity, her motivations going forward, and her path in life. Laura Lee helps Lottie develop an assertiveness and confidence she had not been able to access before, which in turn allows her to ascend to the extremely influential figure she ends up becoming.

I think so much can be said about the importance of touch in their relationship. Holding each other’s hands to guide each other, embracing each other, placing a hand on the other’s chest and holding it there. Laura Lee provides a gentleness/tenderness in her touch that Lottie has been craving her whole life. The act of placing a hand on the chest is particularly significant. When Laura Lee touches Lottie in this way, it is a moment of emotional anchoring. The chest is where the heart is, where one’s truest self can be felt and expressed. To have someone touch you there with reverence is a profound act of acceptance and recognition. And this is something that stays with Lottie, becoming an integral part of her spiritual practices. When Lottie offers this kind of touch to others, she’s not just comforting them; she’s offering the same acceptance and safety that she first received from Laura Lee. It’s a form of healing, of passing on the love and belief that Laura Lee gave her, a way for Lottie to channel her strength into others and to demonstrate the kind of acceptance she once craved.

Lottielee is about nurturance and sustenance. I love the absolute awe on their faces when they look at each other. In a way, they have faith in and worship each other.

Laura Lee’s death is extremely impactful and devastating to Lottie, so much so that she still sees Laura Lee’s ghost even 25 years later. Echoes of Laura Lee exist in everything Lottie does.

One word to describe them: Acceptance

Their best scene: The lake baptism

"I saw fire— a light."

"That's the holy spirit, you've been touched."

Mistynat

This ship has got to be the most hilarious out of any on the show. On paper, it makes absolutely no sense. Natalie is dark, brooding, cynical, and emotionally guarded to the point of being downright cold in the adult timeline. She has carefully curated an emotional armor; an air of detachment and apathy that she uses to maintain distance from anyone that could possibly become close to her. In contrast, Misty is a perpetual ray of sunshine—a walking bundle of overzealous energy and bubbly optimism wrapped in frilly, vintage-inspired cat sweaters. She's needy, socially unaware, and often acts out of a desperate desire for affection and validation. Their personalities, seemingly at odds, create a rich, almost absurd juxtaposition that makes their interactions fascinating to watch.

At the heart of their relationship is a shared sense of longing. Both Natalie and Misty crave connection and appreciation, but they have no idea how to foster it in healthy, meaningful ways. Both of them have been deeply isolated throughout their lives, though for different reasons. Natalie’s isolation stems from her trauma. She doesn't feel worthy of love and she's afraid of hurting people, so she keeps everyone at arm’s length, often sabotaging any potential for intimacy. Misty, on the other hand, is isolated by her intense neediness and socially awkward tendencies. She becomes overbearing and obsessive, constantly seeking affection in ways that alienate others. This creates such an interesting dynamic when the two are together, as Misty is obsessively pouring all of her loyalty and energy into Nat, while Nat is constantly pushing her away and struggling to maintain a safe distance between them.

While Mistynat is definitely stronger on Misty's end than Nat's, I think you can see the soft spot Nat has for Misty. Nat is begrudgingly charmed by her. Christina Ricci has said that she thinks Natalie was the only one to show any kindness towards Misty growing up, and I couldn't agree more. There are moments when Natalie shows a surprising level of affection and understanding toward Misty, even if it's fleeting or passive. Nat protects Misty from Shauna after Shauna punches her ("It's not her fault! Misty did everything she could!"), she appears genuinely happy to see Misty at the reunion, and the line "We're all like this, aren't we?" is Nat realizing how alike she and Misty are; how they share the same trauma.

It is so heartbreaking that Misty, who saw herself as Nat's greatest protector and most loyal follower, was ultimately the one to kill her. And it will also be so heartbreaking to see Misty's obsession with Nat extend to her wearing Nat's clothing and taking on her persona in Season 3 as a way of remaining close to her. Here's to seeing more of them in the teen timeline this season!

One word to describe them: Unpredictable

Their best scene: Misty snorting Nat’s coke

"Misty! Get off my coke! Oh my god you're possessed!"

Lottieshauna

Lottie is the only one to truly understand and embrace Shauna (even the darkest, most suppressed parts of herself). While she has other close relationships on the show, they all accept only a portion of Shauna (the portion they’re comfortable with, the portion that doesn’t feel dangerous, the portion that Shauna displays to others because she knows it won’t scare them away). Jeff, Jackie, and even Taissa can’t fully comprehend the depth of Shauna’s rage, the thrill she gets from danger, her desperate need to be seen, or the fact that she wants an outlet for the violent impulses she keeps buried. But with Lottie, Shauna can be her full, unfiltered self.

Lottie doesn’t just accept Shauna’s darkness—she encourages it. She doesn’t flinch from the things that would make others recoil. When Shauna is discovered to be talking to Jackie’s corpse in the meat shed, Lottie is the only one to extend empathy and understanding to Shauna. She covers up the piece cut out of Jackie’s arm and gives Shauna Jackie’s necklace because she knows that it’s what Shauna needs. After the death of Shauna’s baby, Lottie risks her life to allow Shauna to take her rage (and her intense grief) out on her. In the adult timeline, Lottie’s goat trust exercise (not sure what else to call it lol) is what makes Shauna realize how she has been keeping the people she loves at arm’s length; and it is what lays the groundwork for true healing. Lottie always understands what Shauna needs.

Shauna initially resists Lottie’s influence, but as the story progresses, you can see her slowly being drawn in to her web. I think there’s something thrilling for Shauna to be seen and accepted for her true self (instead of all of the masks she puts on to be what others want her to be). Their connection is one of shared experience, unspoken understanding, and the potential for something both destructive and healing.

One word to describe them: Cathartic

Their best scene: The beatdown

"Shauna, I know there's a lot of pain right now, but let it out. Shauna, we need you, let it out."

Travnat

There’s only room for one heterosexual ship on this list, and that is undoubtedly going to be Natalie and Travis. Travnat is tragic, toxic, and narratively doomed in all of the best ways. Travis and Natalie are two people who cannot help but destroy themselves and each other. Nat and Travis are birds of a feather, which means they have a deep understanding of each other (an understanding they have never received from anyone else), but it also means they have a mutual capacity for self-destruction.

When Travis lashes out after his father’s death, Natalie sees herself. She recognizes that rage, that despair. It’s something that no one else in the group can fully understand or sympathize with, because they haven’t been through the same kind of loss and alienation. But Natalie does understand, and she is the only one who offers him any kind of empathy or care initially. Even when Travis resists, when he pushes her away, she remains steadfast, because, deep down, she knows exactly what it feels like to be abandoned in your pain, to have no one who understands the depth of your grief. It’s this shared history of suffering that makes their connection so strong, yet so toxic. It’s not just about comfort—it’s about two people who have never been allowed to heal properly, and who are only capable of hurting each other as a result. They have the same coping methods: numbing and distraction (whether that be through drugs, sex, or reckless behavior), which causes them to spiral and relapse into their old habits whenever they reconnect.

Natalie describes Travis as "my best friend, the only person I ever loved, the only person who ever really knew me." There is no denying that these two have a deep love for each other. In their light, playful moments in Season 1, you can see what might have been if they had connected before the plane crash. But now they have gone through so much of the same trauma that there is no way for them to be around each other without reminding each other of their shared pain. Nat is a constant reminder to Travis of the loss of his little brother, and Travis is a constant reminder to Nat of the intense guilt of what she did to survive out there. Despite this, they attempt to take care of each other over the course of 25 years. There’s a tragic dance between them: they push each other away, only to pull each other back in, over and over again. The more they try to heal each other, the more they wound one another, and this constant tug-of-war between love and destruction is what makes their relationship so compelling.

One word to describe them: Trauma-bond

Their best scene: Post-Doomcoming hug

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to. I fucking love you, Natalie."

Jackienat

On an outward, surface level, Natalie and Jackie are polar opposites. Jackie is the classic queen bee—privileged, popular, and used to being admired. Natalie, on the other hand, is the rebellious outcast, rough around the edges and unwilling to conform. The ‘queen bee’ and the ‘burnout’. The ‘prude’ and the ‘slut’. Jackie cares too much, Natalie doesn’t care enough. But, in actuality, these are the cliche labels that have been placed on them/assigned to them by external sources. These are the false fronts they put on to hide the vulnerability underneath. Nat and Jackie are actually much more similar than either of them would probably care to admit.

At the core of their conflicts is jealousy. Jackie envies Natalie's ability to be carefree and unapologetically herself (you can hear genuine admiration in her compliment to Nat, “I love that you don’t care what anyone else thinks. You are so completely yourself). Jackie, for all her outward confidence, is constantly performing the version of herself that others expect, and she longs for the kind of authenticity that Natalie seems to embody. On the other hand, Natalie is jealous of the life Jackie represents—privilege, stability, being adored without having to fight for it. But they’re both deeply insecure in ways that mirror each other. Jackie isn’t as effortlessly perfect as everyone believes, and Natalie isn’t as indifferent as she pretends to be. They are both trapped by expectations, and neither of them truly feels like they belong.

If circumstances had been different, I think they would have actually been very close. Their humor is actually similar—sharp, a little sarcastic, but often disarming. They’re both sarcastic, raspy-voiced little shits and I would have loved to see them play off of each other a little more. My personal headcanon for these two is that they actually used to be very close friends when they were little but grew apart in middle school/high school due to societal expectations. Maybe Jackie used to be more carefree before she learned she had to be perfect, and maybe Natalie used to be softer before she learned no one would protect her. There was no huge falling out, they were just gradually pulled apart over time, placed into their respective roles, and now there’s a part of both of them that quietly misses the other but also feels like the version of themselves that once connected with each other is gone. They just don’t understand each other anymore.

And Nat being the one to lay Jackie’s bones to rest? Rejecting Travis’ offer to come with her so that she could have a moment alone with Jackie to pay her respects, release her jealousy, and apologize? Nat being the one to take Jackie’s position of leadership in the group (the queen bee) after she’s gone? Tragic.

They are the perfect enemies to lovers trope (or, in my opinion, friends to enemies to lovers) that unfortunately will never come to fruition.

One word to describe them: Jealousy

Their best scene: Nat apologizes to Jackie's bones

"You're lucky, you know? I think shit is going to get a lot worse out here. But you're already dead so, way to make everyone jealous of you one last time. I'm sorry, for what we did. Who knows, maybe you could be the reason we survive the winter, so thanks. Rest in peace, Jackie."

—

And if you’re interested, the most-written romantic pairings on ao3 at the time of making this post are as follows: Shauna Shipman/Jackie Taylor (1,564 works), Lottie Matthews/Natalie Scatorccio (1,202 works), Van Palmer/Taissa Turner (1,019 works), Laura Lee/Lottie Matthews (396 works), Misty Quigley/Natalie Scatorccio (258 works), Natalie Scatorccio/Jackie Taylor (185 works), Lottie Matthews/Shauna Shipman (182 works), and Travis Martinez/Natalie Scatorccio (120 works).

[minhosglasses]

I've got you - B.C

plot: after an argument with your mother ends in the worst situation for you, you now need to recover in rehabilitation. your new personal trainer chan doesn't only become your motivation to be able to walk again, but also a friend or maybe even lover for life.

pairing: bangchan x gn reader

genre: personal trainer x client, angst, fluff, comfort

warnings: car crash, injury scars, psychological abusive parents

word count: 4.9k

a/n: i got inspired by an old lee know imagine I read years ago on wattpad, if you're that person then let me know bc the inspo is obv to you♡

“Yeah mom I'm in my car right now” the car door flies open as you try to keep everything in your hands without dropping any of it. 

When finally seated in the car you throw your bag in the passenger seat and start driving before buckling up, there was no time for that. You were already late and your mother's faint but also loud voice on the other side of the phone was not helping this stress. Every time you hear your mother on the other line repeating that you should've left earlier and respect your family more, you could only feel the wish of not reaching the destination grow more and more. 

“Mom, I understand I will be there soon. I'm leaving my parking lot as we speak” you could barely hear what her answer was before you hear more chatter in the background get louder and louder. You knew you'd be the talk of it all once you got there. They'd keep on asking questions about how you don't have a better job yet, no partner that could help you, no partner that YOU can benefit from. For them it's just a good job to get money or a good partner that brings in even more money.

At this point you weren't even listening to your mother anymore. The closer you get to the gathering the more the anxiety grows inside of you. Why today of all days? They could've picked any other day but right now you're in the middle of finding a new job. If that information somehow comes out you'd never see the light of day. 

You keep on driving and at this point your mother is so lost in her own rumbling that she doesn’t realise you stopped listening way past 10 minutes ago. You wanted to hit that mute button so badly or just end the call but when the phone is laying on the passenger seat and you’re on the highway it was impossible to take your eyes off the road. 

“Are you even hearing me right now?!” you hear coming from your phone. 

“Yes mom I’m hearing you perfectly” you finally pull up by a red light and take this chance to take your phone and end the call. You look around and your surroundings seems to be fine and you reach over for the phone. Your mother is still screaming and you suddenly force yourself to interrupt her. “Well mom I’m gonna go now, you know I’m arriving in an hour”

You see the light go green and you panic since you still have your phone in your hand right now. You say goodbye loudly over the phone as your mother still has stuff to say, you just wish she could keep it until you get there or she hopefully forgets until then. “Mom I have to dri-” 

CRASH

You don’t even get to finish your sentence before you feel a force from behind of your car push you forward. Your phone is quickly nowhere out of sight and everything happens in a millisecond. That seatbelt that you so in panic did not put on suddenly felt like it was needed as the force sent you out of the window. Your ears are ringing and your vision blurry as you can’t quite understand what happened. All that you can feel is your adrenaline rushing through you, but it was also the only thing you could feel at all. 

A week later 

Your dry eyes open and a white light hits you in the face immediately making you sigh in frustration. The same white light that has been torturing your eyes for the past week. Your mind still can’t comprehend what has happened and neither can your body. Your right leg is covered in a cast and multiple bruises and so far you can not feel yourself being able to move it. You felt like you knew your fate from here. You were praying to yourself or whoever you felt might hear it that this was not the way it was supposed to go for you. That you’d walk again and that something out there would save you from this grave you felt like you were digging. 

Your phone was laying quiet on the bedside table. The screen was cracked but at least it was still working. But seeing the screen was even worse. Because you could see that your family had not sent a single message about it. The only messages were from that day and how they couldn’t believe you stood them up, how you’re so ungrateful and how you should be ashamed that you didn’t show up. It didn’t matter how may tries it took to tell her that your leg was beat up to the point where you’d probably have to be in crutches forever, she probably felt even more ashamed to have a child who couldn’t even walk properly anymore. Your shaky fingers reached for the camera icon, but you kept stopping in your tracks. Did you really wanna see it? You weren’t feeling anything but something might be there. 

You let your thumb press the icon and the view made you gasp. Across your cheek there was a huge white bandage with small bits of blood in it, possibly from the scar it was hiding underneath. The heaviness in your chest grew even more and the tears in your eyes were burning. You couldn’t cry, not here. Because the tears were not for you, they were for them, because of them. The way you knew they’d see you even worse now, and how they would rather yell at you and call you ungrateful than pay you one visit at the hospital where you’ve been for a week.

“Excuse me Y/N?” your tears were interrupted by a sudden voice, the voice belonging to your nurse. You quickly dried your tears with the back of your hand to meet her gaze, making her give you a reassuring smile. “I know this is difficult for you… Do you need me to leave?” you quickly shook her head, she probably had a reason for entering and you didn’t wanna stop her from doing her job. You feel yourself zone out, you could barely feel anything right now. You just wanted to go back to bed and never wake up again. “I also came to tell you that your doctor has seen some improvement. I understand that it’s difficult for you right now, but with the right training and rehab it’s looking good for you to be able to stand on your own again” it didn’t even make you smile. It was only possible if you pushed through, and right now you didn’t even wanna push yourself to let your feet hit the cold floor. 

There was a sudden knock on the door, making you quickly lay your eyes on a younger man. He was in a grey hoodie and his hair was being covered by a black cap that also covered half of his face. You looked at him worryingly, was this someone you knew? Someone who came to visit you that wasn’t your family? 

“Oh Chan! Come in” the nurse said by your side, making you even more confused. You met her eyes with a gaze that said “help”. “Oh Y/N! This is Chan, he works in the rehabilitation center in the other building across the street. He’s the best of the best and we thought you could need motivation by maybe seeing him for a while. We really believe that you can be on your feet again soon” your mind was having a million questions at the same time. You realised he was still standing in front of your bed and all you could do was give him a wave. 

“I’m sorry to just burst in, I understand you must have a lot to process right now. I just wanted to come and say hi and possibly talk with you about your pain to see what we could work with” his voice was calm but the undertone also had the sadness, like he was sad that you were in this situation to begin with. 

The room went cold as the nurse left you and Chan to talk. You didn’t know where to start. You were barely talking to the nurses at this point. You could see that he had dealt with this before. He did not seem stressed, nervous or awkward. He just sat there until you showed any sign that you were ready. Like he could sit there for days. 

“Uhm…” you slowly started just to get a word out. Your voice felt weird and your throat was dry. “Where do we begin?” your voice got shakier as you spoke, it was difficult to even accept that a personal trainer was sitting in your room. It would have been nicer to see one in a situation that wasn’t in the hospital because of an injury. 

“Why don’t you just start by telling me where it hurts, and how would you rate that one to ten? Your nurses have already gone through some with me, but I wanna hear it from you” 

You nodded, suddenly you went back to quiet again. It has all gone too fast, why were you here? Was it because you wished that you wouldn’t make it there? Was this your own fault? You let out a shaky breath as you realised you had to move on, and started pointing to where it hurt. Every time you point to somewhere you see him taking notes in his book. 

“It’s numb” you say with tears in your eyes. He stops writing immediately and closes his book to look at you. “I can’t barely feel it” you let the tears roll down your cheeks, feeling the scary situation take over you and swallow you whole. 

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s going to be scary I know” Chan started as he laid a hand on your trembling hand. It was like he could feel your fear through it. It was cold and shaking, he had seen many clients be worried for themselves but this really made his heart ache. You both seem to be close in age, he couldn’t imagine what he himself would feel like if he was in your position. “You got this, you’re so strong” his words were calming you down as you could finally breathe normally and see clearly again. 

Your cries went quiet as Chan’s questions went on. It was difficult to describe as you never felt like you could grasp the situation itself. Every time you thought back on the situation you felt that adrenaline rush again. How you just fell out of the car and how you could’ve saved yourself if you just had focused. But nothing could take you back now, it was only a matter of time before you had to look forward and make yourself you again. 

______________

Today was your first meeting with Chan. You had finally left the hospital bed and was currently using crutches or a wheelchair as support. Waiting outside of the rehabilitation gym you looked at yourself in the mirror outside. The scar had healed a bit more with small parts of scab left, but you could see on the more healed parts that this would never go unnoticable. There would be scars from your stitches across your cheek and you knew that no one would be able to see the rest of your face first. You sighed at the sight of yourself, your family would never wanna look at you now, barely you wanted to either. Who cares if the leg healed or not, it’s not the first thing they see. 

“Y/N?” you turned your head to your right, seeing Chan right there. You quickly studied him up and down, realising he was different from when you first saw him. He was now wearing a black oversized t-shirt and no cap, making him show his pretty brown hair which was laid on the side. 

He was very good looking there was no denying that. Which made you lay your hand on your own cheek. You knew it wasn’t weird to him, he often helped people that come out of situations like yours. But the self cautious feelings took over you in the moment, and while leaning on your crutch you tried to make the hood of your sweater cover your cheek. 

You couldn’t tell if he saw it or not, but that couldn’t matter for long enough either because the important part was to make yourself walk again. There weren’t many people in the gym, just a few people older than you with their own trainors. 

Chan walked you over to a more quiet area where it was mostly a floor covered in black foam carpet. 

“Let’s just start easy and foam roll the muscle, then we’ll try to keep your core strength since you can lose it if you have to walk less right now. Does that sound okay?” you could only nod. This whole situation made you nervous, you knew that the slightest fail could push your motivation even further back than it already is. 

Chan takes your hand carefully as he helps you sit down on the floor. He gently places the foam roller under your leg making you wince at the small pain the lift gave you. You start pushing your leg back and forth on the foam roller feeling fine the first few minutes. You felt some weight lift from your shoulders as you did a few more minutes. Maybe you were worried for nothing? 

The time goes by pretty slowly but you feel better than you thought you would. Maybe this could actually be something. Or that was until the dreaded question left Chan’s lips,

“Do you wanna try walking with support from these bars?” 

He was standing by two pairs of metal bars, and just seeing them made you feel uneasy. But was it worth giving up now? It wouldn’t hurt to try right? In return you nodded at him, making him run back to you to help you up. You had an arm over his shoulder and he tried lifting you from the floor a bit so that you wouldn’t have to limp over there. 

Chan carefully sets you down between the bars, letting you get a good grip on them before he finally lets go of your body. You feel your whole weight land evenly on both of your legs but as soon as it starts feeling great you feel your body fall to the side. 

Your leg can’t support it enough. 

Before your body can hit the floor you feel a pair of arms back around you. Chan was quick to catch you and through his embrace of you he could feel your panicked breath. 

“Hey… hey it’s okay just breathe. I’ve got you. I’m not letting you fall I promise” he said, patting your head as well. “I know that was scary, I should’ve held onto you a bit more over the floor. I didn’t mean to just let go I’m sorry” 

Tears pricked in your eyes once again. This felt hopeless once again. How was this ever going to be fixed? How can someone fix a broken part like this? Babies could walk better than you. 

“This is so useless…” you muttered. It hurt Chan’s heart that the first time since the hospital where you speak to him is you talking down on yourself. He kept patting your head and tried to not make himself lose his cool as he heard your small sobs in his arms. 

“Don’t say that we have many sessions ahead of us to improve. This is only the first time” he carried you down onto the carpet again, making sure your leg wasn’t touching the floor at all. Your cries had gone quiet but your face was really red. 

As Chan set you down he kept seeing you pull that hood in front of your face. He sat down in front of you trying to make you meet his eyes, but once you did you faced the other way. He knew exactly why, but it was not something he was going to pressure you about. He knew injuries in parts such as the face took a toll on people, and it seemed even tougher on you. 

“Please don’t look at me…” you put your head in your hands. “This scar is huge, it’s disgusting. It makes me look so…” 

“Sad?” Chan finished your sentence with. You tried looking back up without showing most of your face, and of course your eyes met his. They never left you. “You know what I think?” he started, making you shake your head. “I think it makes you look strong. It tells people that something happened to you, yet you’re still here standing. And to me that is an extremely admiring person to me” he continued with a small smile, only making you smile bigger in return. His heart fluttered at that smile, he knew he wanted to make this wonderful perso achieve their goals even more now. They were gonna reach the top and he would be by their side. 

_____________

Some weeks turned into a month of seeing Chan. You couldn’t help but feel safe around him as he tried to motivate you to do even better every day. You knew it was his job, but something about just letting you lead it as well made you trust him even more. There was no family that was expecting you to do things their way, or your mother telling you to just get yourself together. He was there, but you were taking your time. And for the first time that was okay. 

“Okay so now you walk over to me” he said gesturing with his hands to slowly start walking. This was always the part of the session that you dreaded. Many falls had happened but no bruises added as Chan always caught you in time.

You keep your arms steady on the bars and try to lightly let go with each step. You felt the knee pushing against your will, but the muscles had to be trained again. The closer you got to Chan the more your smile started growing. With every session you felt like you were getting somewhere and this was the closest you’d ever gotten to walk without bars. With just a few meters left until you could take Chan’s hands for support you feel the strength in your leg giving out, making you fall forward this time. Your heart starts pounding faster the moment you feel your leg give out but you never meet the floor. 

Chan was almost laying underneath you as he had leaned down to prevent you from falling. He could see that the position got awkward for you so he slowly starts sitting down while helping you down onto the floor. But on the way down your leg still hasn’t gotten its full strength back and you end up falling forward onto Chan. Now having him lay under you. 

At first your face becomes red, this was not supposed to happen. But as your eyes meet his deep brown ones, something tells both of you that this okay. Making you both start laughing together. 

“I’m so sorry, are you okay? My leg totally gave out” you were still laughing with a slight hint of worry in your voice as you literally had just dropped your full weight onto him. 

“Nono I’m totally fine, I’m happy I caught you in time-” 

“What exactly is going on?” your laughs were interrupted by a very familiar voice belonging to a woman. A special woman being your mother herself. Looking her into the eyes you quickly scooch yourself off of Chan and he keeps his hands close to you incase something starts hurting. He’s just about to support your leg until your mother yells, “Do not touch my child!” Chan doesn’t seem to listen, since he in a way is doing his job during your session. 

“Mom? Why are you here?” you ask her, slightly embarrassed that she is scolding Chan right now for doing his job. “I thought you didn’t care about my rehabilitation” you didn’t see it as Chan stood behind you by now but his face fell and he realised he had never seen you with family or even heard you talk about them. 

“Why wouldn’t I care? I'm your mother!” she says harshly, studying you up and down. You were only in a pair of sweats and a hoodie since baggy clothes made it easier for you to move your leg, especially with a cast on. “But I see you’re doing other things than working on your walking or how to cover up that ugly scar” the scar was healed by now, but the stitches had now left the big scar more visible. Which with Chan you hadn’t really thought about anymore, you no longer felt the need to cover your face around him. 

Chan didn’t know what to say. He was watching you taking harsh comments from your own mother and he didn’t know when it was time for him to say something. Technically the situation you were in could be seen as wrong as you are his client. But at the same time he promised he’d never let you fall and he was holding onto that promise. 

He could see how your hands were shaking against the sides of your body. He slowly walked up behind you while your mother was talking to hold your hand. Your hand was shaking in his, but that didn’t matter. The comfort was exactly what you needed since your mother could not hold back to scold you even in your rehab hours. 

“Have you tried makeup? How is that scar gonna be covered and gone when I bring you home again? They will wonder how you can’t take care of yourself and I will be blamed for that” your mother went on, you really wondered how she had the energy to do this. 

“I’m sorry Ms L/N but I think it’s time you stop” you hear Chan say behind you making your breath hitch. 

“Excuse me how dare-” 

“You’re in my gym during my work hours when I’m here trying to help your child how to walk normally again. And if you had been here or checked their medical records that I fill in after every session you’d see that they are doing much better than when they were admitted to me.” you squeezed his hand tightly, not being able to speak up in front of your mother right now you felt your heart beating faster. And you knew it wasn’t because of the stress of your mother right now. “So either you leave right now, or I’m gonna have to call security because I have to keep helping them now” 

“And the scar?” she asks. 

“Ms L/N I’m not a doctor, I’m just a personal trainer. And even if I were, I probably wouldn’t be able to do more than they already have. You should be happy your oen kid is still standing here, that scar is showing how she fought for her life. They are the strongest person I’ve ever met as a trainer here and you should be proud of them because I sure am” he said confidently. “Now please leave” and as you watch your mother turn her back towards the both of you you feel Chan’s thumb caress the upper part of your hand. 

You didn’t know what to do at that moment. For the first time in forever someone had been on your side. Chan was just about to open his mouth to speak but before he could you turned around and hugged him. He was caught off guard by the action but as soon as he registered what’s happening his hands found their way to your hips. 

You stood there together for what felt like a solid minute. It felt special to finally have someone see you. And you didn’t care if that person wasn’t in your family, he was your motivation and you never wanted to let go of him. When you decide to let go all you can do is smile at him, which he happily returns to you. Your smile was his happiness, because it meant that even in your darkest days right now there was a smile underneath it somewhere. 

A few minutes later you’re sitting on the floor together, your session ended about 15 minutes ago. You were telling him about your injury that day, how no one came to the hospital and how he is the only one who you’ve been with since then. He sat there with your hands in his lap and every time you shed a tear he made sure to catch them for you. Sometimes thinking back on it you start panic crying and having hiccups, and every time you have them Chan makes sure to see you even more. Telling you it’s okay, to start again whenever you want, and if you want to stop talking then he doesn’t need to know more of it. 

“Hey look at me” Chan’s hand lay carefully on your cheek drying away your tears. “You’re amazing, you know that right?” you start laughing at his comment which only makes him giggle as well. “I’m serious! I’ve seen you go through it this whole month and you’re so strong for even doing this in the first place. Back at the hospital I saw how scared you were, and now I know you were lonely as well. But I am here. I’m sitting here with you now and you’ve grown into a much stronger version of yourself. And even if you fall, then I’ve got you. I’m there to catch you every time” 

_______________________

You open the doors from the rehabilitation building and step outside, taking in the good sunny weather together with the warm sunny breeze. The weather was good but today had also been your last session together with Chan. You couldn’t help but feel sad about it. There were days that discouraged you, yes, but he was always there to pick you up. And now you could walk again, which you back then never thought would be possible. 

“So, you’re leaving already?” you heard Chan ask behind you. 

Turning around you see him in that same grey hoodie he had during your first meeting at the hospital. Something about you two together felt so special to you, and you for sure wouldn’t forget it. You were already sad to part ways with him so being remembered about your days together made you a bit sentimental. 

“I guess, we’re not working together anymore. Who are you supposed to have fun with now?” you said, making him smile brightly.

“No one of course” he was laughing a lot with his big smile which just made your heart flutter even more. He really was the best at making you feel like a better version of yourself. “Hey, by the way” he started nervously fiddling with the hem of his hoodie. You gave him a small nod to show that you’re listening and after a quiet minute he went on. “Now that we’re not working together, do you think I could take you out?” 

You couldn’t believe your ears. Take you out? You looked at him in shock not realising he just asked what he asked. 

“Me…? Yeah absolutely” the relief you felt in your body hit you, you actually get to see him a bit more. 

“Maybe we could start now? There’s a beach down the road here. Just to hang out?”  you eagerly nodded and without a thought you were both heading for the beach. 

The seagulls were making loud noises and the sun was high in the sky. It was a bit windy which caused the salty water to sometimes hit your face. But this feeling was incredible. After months of rehab you had never felt so free and alive in yourself again. And with Chan by your side you felt like you were in paradise. 

With your shoes in one hand and Chan’s hand in the other you both walked along the shore with your feet half deep in the water. Feeling the sun hit your face felt refreshing. You never thought you’d end up walking along the shore with Chan, or walking here at all. But you pushed through and for once you felt proud of yourself for pushing through. 

Suddenly Chan stopped in his tracks and looked out towards the ocean. He starts walking deeper into the water, gesturing with his hands that you should follow him. With both of you in the water you both start realising it wasn’t the best choice since the winds are getting stronger, and before you both knew it you both fall backwards into the water. But of course someone caught you in time. Looking over at Chan he made sure to have you fall onto him first. In that moment it felt like all of these months leading up to this was made for the both you, and before you know it Chan closed the distance between the both of you. 

You felt fireworks going off inside of your stomach and trying to stay calm to not ruin it. Putting your body weight onto him he ends up with his whole back in the water and wet sand. But to him nothing mattered at all in this moment but you and him together. After pulling away he made sure to still hold you close, one hand on your cheek and the other keeping you with him. 

“I told you I’ve got you, I’ll catch you everytime” 

[slimybeth69]

Touch: Part 10

Previous Chapter | Series Masterlist

Din Djarin x f!reader (no physical descriptions, no use of y/n)

Explicit: angst, dark humor, smut, some talks of violence.

warnings/tags: protective!din, mentions of throwing up, unprotected P in V, painful/uncomfortable sex.

Chapter Summary: Part 2 of the Mines of Mandalore

a/n: this is when I start taking VERY creative liberties- so, I hope you stay having fun. if you read this on ao3 no kinda did, but not really. it's unbeta'ed, poorly proofread and written excitedly. I LOVE YOU ALL FOR STICKING WITH ME.

Previously- You’re plummeting back down to the bottom and you connect with a muted thud. It’s not as soft and sandy as you remember. You look down and instead of white gray sand it’s–scales? You look around as you empty the last of the bad air out of your lungs. You look directly into one giant yellow eye. It’s so close you can see your reflection in it. The eye itself is bigger than you are. You have no idea what you’re seeing. Horns? It’s a hallucination. Something your brain came up with to try and comfort you while you die, surely this isn’t real. The eye blinks at you twice. Din lays beside you, still unmoving as your body instinctively takes a breath in. Water fills your lungs and everything is suddenly warm and quiet.

It’s so bright. And it’s wet. Everything is wet, including inside of you.

All of the water ejects from your lungs and your belly as you sit up. You heave twice and throw up copious amounts of water. It’s being hacked from your lungs as you roll onto your stomach. You choke again, gasping for air, sucking more water back into your body. You hoist yourself up onto your hands and knees and choke it out of you. The skin on your face feels like it’s being ripped away from your skull as you throw up again and continue to cough. Your shoulder is still on fire, hurts worse now than it did before you got into the water. 

“Maker.” Din whispers from beside you. “I thought you died!” Din sounds like he was upset with you. “You wouldn’t breathe! You wouldn’t move! I tried for so long to resuscitate you!” Din’s yelling at you. Really yelling. “What were you thinking going in after me like that?” More yelling. 

You don’t even know what’s going on right now. Why is everything wet? What is he even yelling at you for? You sink back down onto your belly directly into your own wet expulsion– doesn’t matter, you’re dead. Din’s yelling and everything is wet. Definitely dead and this is definitely hell. 

“I’m talking to you!” Din rasps from his modulator. “You could have died!” You roll over onto your back and frown at him. 

“Am I not dead now?” You ask, very seriously. “I definitely died on that giant monster in the water.” You try to roll onto your side, take a nap because you are…exhausted. You didn’t know being dead would be so tiring. Fuck, you need a nap.

“What?” Din asks, not yelling anymore. “What— where?” 

“Big yellow-eyed monster. Horns.” You sigh sleepily. You wonder if dreams in hell are as good as they were when you were alive. Din’s kneeling beside you now, his hand on your bad shoulder. It jolts you into a sitting position and you're pushing yourself away from his touch with your feet. “Don’t! It hurts so bad.” You groan and hold your arm in your other hand. “I’m dead! Why does everything hurt!?” You shout at him angrily. 

“You’re not dead!” He shouts back at you. 

The tears just come from nowhere. Either you're overjoyed…scared…upset. Unable to believe you’re not really dead? Who knows, the tears are coming though. Din doesn’t care about your tears right now though. 

“You saw what in the water?” Din asks, taking a crawling step towards you. His helmet is dripping with water and you can see yourself in his reflection and you’re also a wet soaking mess in the worst sense. 

“It was a monster! It was big and had horns and yellow eyes and it saved us! It had to be the monster because Grogu left us to die in the livin– Those are not living waters! Those waters are dead or dying or I don’t know but the living waters sounded beautiful and that is fucking terrifying!” You’re sobbing, pointing to the water with your good hand. 

“A mythosaur?” Din’s head flicks between you and the water multiple times. “You saw a mythosaur?” 

“What the fuck is that?” You groan. Everything in you hurts so badly. Even your hair hurts. All of it. Everything. “Did you bathe? Did you do the thing with the transgressions? Are you no longer exiled? Can we please go back to the ship!?” You try to stand up but you lose your balance and end up back on your butt. Din walks over and helps you to your feet and steadies you carefully. 

“Are you saying that a mythosaur…saved us?” Din’s helmet is staring at you. You stare back at it, cradling your elbow in your hand because it makes your shoulder hurt less. 

“If I knew what a mythosaur was I could tell you.” You snap back but then hiss in pain as your shoulder throbs and now your back. What the fuck happened to your back?

The ship is warm and inviting when the three of you crawl back into it. You drop to your knees as the ramp shuts and you start to sob again. You were able to keep it together the entire walk back from the living waters. Din and you didn’t say much, he just held on to your waist and helped you limp back to the surface. The tears and the gasps flow freely as your hands touch the cool metal of the ship's interior. Din’s kneeling beside you, his hand rubs you back gently. 

“Do you still want to go to Bo-Katans?

“She could have died down there!” Bo-Katan yells at Din from outside the room you're in. “I warned you that something like that would happen and now look at her! Bruised, almost broken! And what happened to her face? Did you do that to her?” She’s shouting and hissing at him like you herself are Bo-Katans wife. It makes you feel good that she cares about your wellbeing but why does she care so much? 

“Are you really asking me that?” Din doesn’t sound impressed or amused with her. “She saw a myhtos-” 

Bo-Katan comes into the room, stops in the doorway and stares at you. 

“You saw a mythosaur? Impossible.” 

Din and Bo-Katan sit around the bed you’re laying in and they listen carefully as you explain the plan you made with Grogu to go save Din. The explanation about the creature you saw was hard though because you didn’t think it was real. It looked like something out of a scary story your aunt would tell you as you grew out of being a scared child and into an interested young adult. 

“It had a giant yellow eye. Bigger than me– Me and Din together! It was that big. And it had horns coming out of it’s mouth I think. And it was scaly. We were right on it. I think it moved us up to the surface because I watched Grogu float right back up to the surface. I watched him go. How else did we get back up there, Din?” You can tell that they don’t believe you. Bo-Katan gets up and leaves the room. You and Din look at each other for a moment. 

“Are you okay?” Din asks quietly. It’s hard not to turn your nose up at him right now. For multiple reasons. 

“Fine.” You grumble and touch at the new sling Bo-Katan’s medic droids put on your right arm. Din doesn’t say anything else and neither do you. You’re frustrated. He yelled at you, really yelled at you for almost dying.

Bo-Katan returns with a book in her hand, it’s already open to the page she needs to show you. She doesn’t even have to say anything before you’re pointing to a picture on one of the pages she has open to you. 

“This. This is what I saw down there.” You tap the picture a couple times with your finger. “This is it.” You look at Din who is also trying to see what Bo-Katan is showing you. 

“It's a mythosaur.” She says to Din as she snaps the book closed. “Were you too indisposed to see it for yourself?” She asks Din snappily. 

“I was unconscious .” Din says it like he might be embarrassed that he lost consciousness. Bo-Katan turns back to you with a smile, a real one. 

“At least we get to have that slumber party. You’ll be stuck here for at least the night. Medics order. ” She snaps her head back to Din. “I’ll let you rest now and we’ll have a good time later. Drink. Eat.” She says making her eyes wide with the last two words. 

Yes. Yes. You haven’t had a drink since the night you left Canto Bight and you would love one right now, actually. Several. 

Bo-Katan leaves the room. Now it’s just you and Din again. Quiet. Like before. Way before. Before he ever even touched you, kind of quiet. 

“I’m sorry I shouted at you.” Din says suddenly. You weren’t expecting that. “I…” Din trails off and now you look up to him instead of the strap around your shoulder. “Seeing you like that. Dead. I didn’t like it. Hated it.” Din slides his chair closer to your bed. “I don’t want to see you like that ever again. It scared me.” He places his hand in yours gingerly. 

“I’m sorry-” Din stops you.

“Don’t be sorry. For any of it. I wouldn’t be here without you and I’m so thankful for you. I just don’t want to lose you. Lose you, because of me.” Din shakes his helmet. You don’t really know what to say. You think in your heart you want to tell him that you love him and would have died for him if he needed you too. But that makes you sound…dumb, right? You don’t know. You were happy to lay down and die on the mythosaur when you took in all that water. You never even panicked. 

Din holds your hand in his for a long time and you two are just quiet. It’s not a bad quiet. Almost a reflection, kind of quiet.

“I don’t want…” You swallow hard and Din’s helmet snaps up to you. “I don't want you to start leaving me on the ship again. Even after all of that… I still would rather be with you out there,” You point out the window of your room to the stars. “-then be stuck on that ship waiting for you to come home to me.” Din shakes his head and squeezes your hand gently. 

“I can’t protect you when I’m too worried-” You furrow your eyebrows and pull your hand away, despite the pain in your shoulder. 

“You didn’t need to protect me” You growled at him. “I protected you!” Now you’re shouting. “ I saved you from that cyborg bug. I rescued you when you sunk down into the bottom of that wet hell. I saved you. ” You chew at the inside of your lip and you can feel your nostrils flare in anger. “Both times.” 

Din stares in your direction for a long time. He’s probably working on some argument that’s going to keep you locked up on that ship but you won’t do it. Nope.

“You’re right.” 

“Huh?” You look at Din with your upper lip curled. Din nods his head at you.

“You’re right. You did save me. Twice. I don’t need to worry about you. Having you around would be beneficial to me, actually.” Din tilts his head up like he’s thinking about the future and what you two could do together and eventually Grogu, when he stops being scared and will actually help. Okay. Flew a little too close to the sun there, didn’t you? Because now you’re his bodyguard?! What!? 

“I want drink. More drink. I want a lot of drinks.” You look out of the door Bo-Katan walked out of. “Can you tell her I need a drink–I want a drink. I would like a drink please. Please.” You look back to Din. “Do you drink? Can you get drunk?” 

“I could. I can. It’s hard with the helmet.” You nod in understanding, can’t drink in public or with your friends. 

“Right, who wants to get drunk alone?” You sigh at him. “I would. Right now.” You look back at the door. “Can I go do that? Please?” Din chuckles. 

“Bo-Katan was right. You need to rest.” Din squeezes your hand again and leans back in his chair. “We both should.” 

 “This is so good.” You slur softly at the blue glowing drink in your hand. “Better than the ones I would get on Canto Bight.” Bo-Katan smiles at you sweetly. She’s so damn pretty. You hate her for it but not really. She’s just so nice and so pretty and her armor is so shiny. 

“What did you used to do on Canto Bight?” She asks, leaning back against her throne. You’re both sitting on the floor in front of it. 

“I was a waitress mostly. Talked to tables. Wore a dumb little outfit.” You wave your hand up and down your body lazily. “I would tend to the machines sometimes if they needed credit refills or to be emptied. I hated that job though. Being a waitress wasn’t too bad. At least I made tips then.” You sip your drink slowly. 

Din was here… you think but he’s not here anymore. You and Bo-Katan have been talking for hours, drinking and her servant droids just kept bringing in the best snacks you’ve ever had. Different kinds of meats and cheeses and fruits. 

“Have you ever had Mandalorian Wine?” Bo-Katan asks as the droid hands her a glass bottle. You shake your head and she hands you the bottle. “Try, it’s from before the purge.” She explains as you take it in your hands. 

“You lived on Mandalore? You saw it before…” You trail off as you pull the top off the bottle. You look around for a glass but Bo-Katan motions for you to just drink it out of the bottle, so you do. It’s delicious. Not too sweet but not too dry like some wine you’ve had. 

“It was beautiful there before. My family ruled that tomb you walked through today to the mines.” She explains while you sip on the wine slowly. Nothing hurts anymore. You feel all good throughout your body. 

“You're royalty?” You’re amazed. “I guess that explains the castle, huh?” Bo-Katan smiles and then laughs with you. She has a nice laugh. 

“You’re from Cantonica then?” She asks as her laughter subsides. You sip the bottle of wine but don’t answer immediately. You take another sip while you think. 

“I don’t really know," you shrug. “I grew up with my aunt. My mom died when I was really little. I didn’t know my dad. My mom didn’t live in Canto Bight though. I got taken there by a nanny droid after my mom died.” You explain it quickly, it’s not something you normally talk about. You and Din don’t really speak about the past. Never have. It was fine with you. 

“So you don’t know where you're from? Where was your aunt from?” She asks like you haven't thought about it before. You laugh at the simple missed communication. 

“Kethra wasn’t my real aunt. She was just an old friend of my moms. She didn’t know where my mom came from. I stopped asking after a while.” Bo-Katan looks at you with sad eyes. 

“I’m sorry. It’s got to be hard not knowing.” She reaches and places a soft hand on your knee. It’s so comforting that it brings tears to your eyes. Or it's the wine. One of those two things makes your eyes water. 

“It’s not hard. I don’t really care. No one ever really asks so I don’t usually talk about it much.” You say quickly, the lump forms in your throat. “Sorry, think the wine got to me.” You wipe your eyes as Bo-Katan squeezes you gently. 

“You can cry if you want. It’s good to cry sometimes.” 

So you do. And Bo-Katan hugs you the entire time. You weep about how alone you felt in the Jedi temple and how you were so cold to Din when he got back and how you still feel so guilty about it. You sob when you tell her how scared you were when you thought you were going to lose Din forever. Then you laugh through your tears when you tell her about how comforting it was to think you were dying next to him. 

Bo-Katan looks at you as she pulls away. 

“You love him.” She looks disappointed. “Din’s a good man, but he’s devoted to his clan. The Children of the Watch.” She’s angry now, not at you but at Din, you can tell. “You’re devoted to him, and he’s devoted to his clan. Just be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt anymore than you already are.” She sighs. You don’t say anything, you pull a Mando special and just stare at her. “Don’t take it the wrong way. He cares for you deeply –I would even say he loves you too– but he loves the creed and his clan more. Din would die protecting you, as you would him, apparently. You’re safe with him, yes. But his first priority will al–”

Din clears his throat from the doorway. 

“This is why you wanted a slumber party so badly, Bo-Katan?” Din’s rasp echoes in the large room you two are in. 

“Get over yourself. I’m looking out for my friend. It’s not like anything I said wasn’t true, Din Djarin.” Bo-Katan calls out to him. She turns back to you and gives you a small kiss on your good cheek. “Just remember. Remember where Kalevala is too, if you ever need a friend.” She stands and holds her hand out to you. 

“So, what did Bo-Katan Kryze say was my first priority, if not you?” Din rasps as you walk back to the ship. It was late and you were going to stay the night but… apparently not after that. So, you’re hobbling back to the ship beside Din. 

“You creed. Your clan.” You don’t look up at him. You don’t want to see what his helmet is doing. 

R5 bleeps happily at you. The last time he saw you, you were sobbing on the floor of the ship, almost broken. You touch the top of his head softly as you walk past him.

“Let me show you how devoted to you I am.” Din takes your good hand and leads you into the sleeping quarters. Din takes the blankets off the floor and puts them onto your bed. 

“It’s too small for the both of us.” You whine quietly. Din presses his helmet to the top of your head. 

“You need a bed. Not the floor. Your back and shoulder.” Din tries to sit you down in bed but you’re a little drunk and being stubborn. You hmph softly and close your eyes. 

Din sighs loudly and you open your eyes and he’s throwing all the blankets and the mat on to the floor. He throws his blankets and his mat on the floor next to yours. 

“Stubborn. Perfect. Broken and beautiful.” Din rasps as you hobble over to the makeshift bed on the floor. He helps you down and carefully removes your pants and gets you tucked in.. 

“Touch me.” You whisper softly into the dark after he returns from closing the sun shields and putting Grogu to bed, putting R5 into sleep mode. 

“You’re so hurt.” Din sighs unmodulated as he rubs his hand along your thigh. 

“How ever it doesn't hurt me. I need it.” Your eyes are already closed and you have your good hand in his hair, twirling the curls gently in your fingers. 

Din spreads your thighs with his hands gently and crawls between your legs. He lays on his stomach and brings his mouth to you carefully. The warm breath he lets out against your pussy sends a painful shiver through you. You don’t care, after the day you had you needed him. You need some sort of release and you need Din to give it to you. You did save his life after all. He kisses your slit gently before pushing his tongue inside your folds. He wraps his mouth around you and slowly swirls his tongue around you in those lazy meaningless spins. His arms wrap underneath your legs and he rubs the tops of your thighs with his fingertips gently. 

“Din.” You breathe out as your fingers continue to twirl around in his hair. “Yes.” Din laps at you lazily, just making you feel good, making every bad pain go away with his tongue. You try rocking your hips against his mouth but it makes you whimper in pain when shooting stabbing pain rips up your spine. You settle your hips and just let Din work on you. 

Din’s hands grip the top of your thighs and he spreads you open a little more, listening for any sounds of discomfort before he continues. Now, Din leans forward and puts a little more pressure against your clit with his tongue. He flicks the muscle against your nub fast, you can hear it in the darkness of your bedroom. Your hand grips his hair tighter as he pulls you against his mouth as he pushes forward against you. 

“Fuck.” You moan softly, tugging gently on his hair as he tightens his mouth around your clit and starts to suck gently. “ Yes.” It’s exactly what you wanted. Your words make him work a little faster, suck a little harder. His hands stay gripping your thighs as he licks your soaking cunt. 

“So wet.” Din pants before returning to your middle. His flat tongue drags along your opening and back up to your clit before he wraps his mouth around you again and moves in those tight circles you love but slow. All of his attention is focused right on your clit but he’s moving so leisurely. 

“Please.” It’s begging, it comes out throaty and desperate as he’s compelled to grant to your plea, he quickens his pace. “I need it so bad.” You groan as that warm feeling inside of you starts to grow. “Yes, please don’t stop.” Din had no plans to. He wanted to make you feel good for what you did for him today, you can tell in the way he’s about to make you come. He can tell he’s about to make you come the way you're panting and pulling his hair. 

Din pushes into you a little harder and his hands grip your thighs tighter as he spins fast, tight circles around your clit. You want to lift your hips to his mouth so bad, push back against his tongue. You try again and it’s still stabbing pain, you groan but the pleasure is building. It’s like Din can feel your frustration in your pussy and so he starts to moan against you and those vibrations from his mouth are what send you over the edge.

All the pain, all the sad wash away— even if it’s only for a couple moments it's amazing. The bliss washes over you and now the stabbing pain in your back doesn’t matter for forty seconds. Din keeps licking you, keeps swirling around you as you praise him breathlessly for what he just did to you. 

“Yes. Din. Yes…  You’re amazing.” You’re panting as you let your hips carefully find the mat underneath you. “You’re really amazing.” You pant again. You are waiting for him to come and kiss you but he stays between your legs, licking and slurping the orgasm out of you noisily. 

“Can I do it again?” Din asks from between your legs in the dark but you’re already half asleep.

“Mhm.” You mumble with your eyes closed. Din starts to sit up but you stop him. “No, do it. I want you to do it while I sleep.” You murmur, Din hesitates, like doesn’t know if he can trust you in your sleepiness but you reach for him in the dark with your good arm. You brush up against his stomach. “Do it.” You whisper as your fingers drag down his thousand-degree skin. “Please.” 

You’re asleep when Din’s mouth finds you again. He licks you slowly and carefully, not wanting to wake you. You do only wake up again on the verge of another orgasm. Din’s fingers move against your clit while his tongue pushes inside of your entrance. You wiggle your hips against his fingers and mouth as you come softly half asleep. No words come out of you, just breathless sleepy sounds of pleasure. 

Din takes his place beside you. He rests his head on your chest and wraps your good arm around his shoulders before he settles down into you. 

You’re asleep or you think you could be asleep when he’s planting kisses along your collarbone. He’s whispering but you can’t hear him… or can’t understand him.

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum. Kyr'am Kelir kis'wa mhi. Pal'vut ratiin.” 

Din’s whispering in Mando’a. The words beside ratiin mean nothing to you. You know ratiin means always but you’re also still dreaming so you go back to dreaming about Din speaking Mando’a to you. 

Din was awake and was whispering to you in the dark in his native language and he was professing his love to you. 

“I love you. Death will part us. Mine forever.”  

You fall asleep thinking it was all a dream.

“I have to tell you something. You’re not going to like it.” Din rasps to you as soon as you open your eyes. Your shoulder is aching and your back is as stiff as the beskar on Din’s groin plate. “I’m sorry for upsetting you. In advance.” You groan and attempt to roll over but it’s your bad shoulder side and you can’t. So you just stare into the galaxy in the windows above you. 

“It’s too early.” You groan. Every single fiber inside of you is being torn apart right now. “How do you do this all the time? I cannot move. Not even a little.” You try to turn your head to look at him. 

“I don’t normally get slammed against rocks with no armor on,” Din says flatly. You could punch his helmet. “You should have broken your back with a hit like that.” You do turn your head as much as you can to him and stare. Blinking. 

“It’s not broken?” You’re one hundred percent sure it is. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He shakes his helmet. “You’re sure?” He nods. 

“You had a scan done at Bo-Katans,” Din starts to explain but you widen your eyes. 

“When did we go to Bo-Katans?” You ask Din very seriously. He tilts his helmet at you.

“I should not have let you sleep so long. You have a concussion.” Din rasps and now you’re trying to sit up and everything is telling you to lay back down but you can’t. You have to sit. Din is helping you up with your good arm. You whine softly as you sit on your ass. That’s broken too. Sure is. Everything is. 

“I’ve been asleep for like an hour or two.” You stretch your one good limb which is your non-dominant arm. Wonderful. Feels brand new. Never seen a day of battle in its life, apparently. 

“More like seventeen hours. I’ve been trying to wake you and this is the first time you actually opened your eyes. In seventeen hours.” You blink at Din. You haven’t been sleeping that long. What? “I had to go back and help Bo-Katan. She was attacked by TIE bombers shortly after you fell asleep.” 

“Is Bo-Katan alright?” You’re worried for your best friend. She was so nice the last time you saw her a couple of days ago when she told Din where the mines were. Or apparently seventeen hours ago. You don’t really remember. Everything is blurry. Really the last thing you remember is dying on a monster down in the living waters. There sure was something fucking living in there. You knew it! Called it a while ago and you did jump in, just not for the reason you thought you would have. 

Din nods and holds on to your good shoulder. His helmet, the way it's cocked to the side slightly, looks worried about you. His rasp snaps you out of a trance you're in, looking at yourself in the face visor. You have more cuts now. Ones you don’t even remember getting. One on the bridge of your nose and now a small one just under your right eye. Now you’re cut on both sides of your face. You also have a bruise on your forehead. You do remember that. Din gave you that one by accident.

“She’s alright. She’s following us right now on her ship.” 

“Where is Grogu?” You ask as he stands to leave the room. Din says nothing and just opens the door to your room slowly, only a crack. 

“Remember what I said? You have to be nice to her. Hey!” Din snaps his fingers at the crack in the door. “And be very careful with her.” Din nods down at the crack before he slowly starts to open it. You can hear the child garbling. “Okay. Be gent–” Din can’t even get the words out before Gorgu is through the door and clinging to your waist. That hurts too. It doesn’t matter, you’re so happy he’s safe and that he missed you. Din returns with rations and the biggest canteen of water you’ve personally ever seen. 

As appreciative as you are, you’re so thirsty. You show him how you would need two hands to lift that thing. He sighs and with one hand he lifts it easily and carries it out of the room and returns with a much more manageable sized canteen and you eat every ration crumb.

“Okay. Bad news," Din says, sitting down on the floor next to you. 

“Lay it on me, I’ll probably forget anyway.” You shake the crumbs out of the packet of crackers into your mouth. 

“We have to go see my clan,” Din explains. You sigh. Not the angry scary helmeted woman again. She was not as nice as Bo-Katan was to you. She didn’t even acknowledge you. Din didn’t introduce you but whatever, same difference. She wasn’t very nice. She basically yelled at Din. “You’re going to have to talk to The Armorer.” 

“Which one is that?” You raise an eyebrow, afraid of the answer. 

“The one who I spoke to last time we were here.” His helmet is looking right at you. You groan loudly and sigh. 

“She’s the scariest one!” You groan again. “Okay. What do I have to tell her?”

“What the planet looked like. That you were my witness to redemption.” Your jaw hits the floor. Why do you have to tell her about any of that? She’s probably not even going to believe some pipsqueak like you. Din pushes your jaw closed with his fingers. “It’ll be okay.” 

“When do we have to do that?” You ask curiously. 

“Right now.” 

Din lands the ship while you attempt to get dressed the best you can. You need his help to fasten your pants and your robe but you did everything else by yourself. Even though it hurt. The ramp of the ship drops down and Bo-Katan is standing at the bottom of the ramp with her helmet on. She looks so nice. It’s all so shiny and pretty just like her, Maker, you might want to be Bo-Katan. 

“I’m glad you’re doing alright.” She rasps down to you through her voice modulator. “I hope I didn’t upset you with our talk that night.” Din is so many paces ahead of you he can’t hear. 

“I don’t remember that night, honestly. Din says I have a concussion.” You smile up at her innocently. She nods and touches your back and tells you everything she said that night. In your concussed state, it makes you sad. You think it would have made you sad even if you weren’t concussed. 

“Come no further.” A new unfamiliar voice rasps out from behind the modulator of a man who is bigger than Din Djarin himself. This Mandalorian is standing in front of the mouth of a cave as more Mandalorians appear from within as Bo-Katan helps you up to where Din is standing. “You are an apostate, Din Djarin.”

“No longer.” Din rasps. “I have been to the mines of Mandalore.” Uh, hello, so have you. You went all the way down. To the very fucking bottom and planted your feet right into the wet sand. 

“Impossible. The mines were collapsed in the purge.” The bigger man crosses his arms across his chest and shakes his helmet from side to side slowly. 

“No. They’re still there. Way far down.” You say from behind Din. Every single helmet including Din’s and Bo-Katan’s turns to look at you. You give everyone a small wave. 

“I saw them. I was there too.” You smile happily. Something… is wrong with you. The medic droids at Bo-Katan’s obviously did not scan you because if they had, they would have seen that your brain fell right the fuck out onto that bug-robot’s sandy floor. Is probably still there right now. 

“The planet is cursed, dala.” The man speaks a word of mando’a to you but you don’t know that word. What the fuck did he just say to you? You reach with your left hand for the lightsaber on your waistband and every single Mandalorian there pulls a weapon and points it at you. Din holds his hands up and steps between you two. 

“Dala is a woman,” Bo-Katan whispers into your ear through the modulator and now everything is fine because you are a woman. You remove your hand from your lightsaber and stand as tall as you can but your back hurts so you stay hunched over, just a little. 

“They speak the truth. Both of them.” Bo-Katan speaks up, trying to diffuse the situation. 

“And who are you, Night Owl.” The bigger man asks, arms crossing over his chest again now that he knows you aren’t a threat with Din between the two of you. He does peer over Din’s shoulder at you twice though. You stare at him each time. 

Your brain is broken. Bro-ken. Why are you looking at that man that way? 

“I am Bo-Katan. Of Clan Kryze.” She steps forward, away from your side and next to Din. You’re now blocked away from everyone. Hidden. You hate it and move your way to Din’s other side and now, you are closer to the bigger man. He takes a step to the side, closer to Bo-Katan. 

“You are both apostates. Your House has fallen from The Way.” The bigger man shakes his head from side to side at her slowly. He better back away from your best friend, seriously. He’s getting too close to her and you are itching to use your lightsaber. You got a taste of it and now you’re hungry for more. 

Okay, calm down. You’re angry. Angry about what Bo-Katan re-informed your broken brain of. Now, here you are standing in front of a Clan that made him an apostate, just for looking at his son. So devoted to them. It made you mad… and jealous. 

“I have proof.” Din holds out a little silver tube. Did he get that while you were dead on the rubble of the mines before or after he tried so long to resuscitate you? Hmph. Din looks down at you. Did you make that sound out loud? You didn’t mean to. 

The clan led the five of you, everyone came along. Grogu and R5 too, further into the belly of the cave. It’s a long walk like before and you’re tired. You could honestly lay right down in the sand and sleep for another seventeen hours. Finally, they lead you through the room you were in before and even further into the cave. 

Finally, a place to sit. You sigh as you sit before everyone else. No one else ever sits beside The Armorer. Her helmet is faced right in your seated direction. You’ve known helmets long enough to know that when they’re looking in your direction this long, they are one hundred percent staring at you. Din sighs as you lean back in the chair he’s standing beside. There are enough seats for everyone, you don’t know why everyone is so happy standing. 

“Din Djarin claims to have bathed in the Living Waters.” The bigger man who Din called Paz while you walked, says like Din is lying. You lean back as far in your chair as you can go to look at him angrily. Din is not lying and Paz better shut his mouth before you get your lightsaber out.

“I have proof.” Din holds out the silver metal tube to The Armorer. She takes it in her hand and inspects it carefully. Then Din points to you. “She’s my witness.” You nod your head and smile like you’re proud of yourself. 

“I jumped right in after him when his ass sunk to the bottom.” You nod again and rest your good arm on the back of the chair you’re in. It’s very comfortable. Din places the forehead of his helmet in his hand. While you spoke the woman poured the water from the silver tube into a machine that showed a hologram that you couldn’t understand because it was backward and also in Mando’a. 

“These are the Living Waters.” The Armorer sounds a little dismayed. “He speaks the truth. Din Djarin you are redeemed.” Then she looks at you and cocks her head to the side. “And who are you, honorable dala?” The Armorer sounds so sweet now. What is it with the Mandalorians and their scary raspy voices? They all are just a bunch of softies under those helmets really. 

“She’s a burcyan.” Din speaks a word of Mando’a to The Armorer. Bo-Katan and The Armorer herself snap their helmets up to Din's helmet in shock almost. 

“A friend .” The Armorer repeats his words back to you so you can understand. “And where is your helmet?” Your jaw drops and Din places his forehead back into his hand. You think you hear Bo-Katan chuckling. 

“I’m not Mandalorian.” You gape up at the helmeted woman in front of you. “I don’t have a helmet.” The woman looks back to Din and tilts her head. 

“You didn’t bring her here to swear into the clan?” 

Your jaw actually breaks your sternum; it drops so far down from the rest of your face. 

“What!? I could do that right now?” You exclaim. Bo-Katan is laughing beside you now and Din is actually walking out of the room. You turn your head to see where he is going because this is good. Is it not? 

“You bathed in the mines of Mandalore. You could swear the Creed now, in the lake. You could get your own helmet.” You are flabbergasted right now. Where the fuck is Din? Why does he not want to be here for this amazing news? You look at Bo-Katan who is trying to settle her laughter. 

“Why are you laughing and why did Din leave?” You whisper up to her. She leans down and rasps in his ear. 

“Because I warned him of this and he didn’t listen.” She starts to laugh again. That is kind of funny, actually. You don’t really know why but you chuckle. 

“I would love to. But I have a pretty bad concussion right now from saving that guy out there.” You look back to The Armorer. “I think I have to go… ask permission… from my friend.” You blink at her. She motions her hand to the door and you need Bo-Katan’s help getting out of the chair. 

Din isn’t in the big room or the walkway of the cave. He’s back at the entrance, looking into the lake. He doesn’t move or look at you when you stand beside him. 

“Why’d you walk out? Isn’t that good news?” You ask, looking up at his helmet. This was something to be celebrated and he's acting like someone just kicked him in the beskar groin plate. 

“I don’t want you to wear a helmet or swear the Creed into the clan.” Din rasps. Oh. That’s not what you thought he was going to say. It makes your heart hurt a little. 

“Why?” It’s asked simply because how else would you ask? Sob on the ground like a child? No. 

“I don’t want you to. It’ll change you. I like who you are without a helmet. I like to look at you” That’s very bold coming from a man in a fucking helmet. Anger bubbles within you and the words Bo-Katan spoke to you come to your head. Devoted to his clan and his creed. 

You pull the best Mando Spesh you got and say nothing. Absolutely nothing. People start to emerge from the cave after a while and carry about their normal day-to-day routine. You end up going back to the ship because why hang out with a bunch of Mandalorians if you can’t spar with them and they all look at you with their cool helmets and it makes you sad. 

The ship is so quiet with no one else on board. Just you and R5 now. Hanging out. You get sadder. This is your future. Alone with the droid probably. While Din and Grogu and probably Bo-Katan go and do cool Mandalorian things together. You’ll be stuck here, giving R5 an oil bath.

The rumble of Bo-Katan’s ship makes you run to the cockpit to look out the window and she’s leaving. Where is she going? 

“There you are.” A familiar rasp says from behind you. It’s The Armorer. “I wondered where you limped off to.” She sounds like she could be smiling under the helmet. You don’t know. You’re concussed. “Did you talk to your friend?” She asks, sitting down in the co-pilot’s seat as you sit in the big Pilot’s chair. Din’s chair. 

“Yeah. He said I can’t.” You look over at her with a disappointed smile.

She shakes her helmet from side to side as if she is disappointed. “Shame. Bo-Katan told me of all your amazing feats down in those mines. The cyborg. How you saved Din Djarin. It was very brave.” The Armorer’s helmet looks over to you now. “You’d make a good Mandalorian.” She nods her helmet once.

“Someone once told me I’d make a good Jedi if only I had the force in me.” You smile at her innocently because Ahsoka did tell you that, and you don’t know what else to say.

The Armorer chuckles at you. “I heard that you trained with the Jedi. That you have a lightsaber made of beskar .” She sounds intrigued. You hand unhook the saber from your belt and hand it to her to inspect. “It’s beautiful. And your friend got it for you?”

“Why do you keep saying it like that?” You look at her through squinted eyes. “ Friend.” You’d like to know why she keeps saying it like you aren’t actually friends. And why Bo-Katan and her looked at Din when he called you that? It definitely didn’t feel great, knowing that’s what he’s calling to people but she didn’t have to keep saying it like that. 

“It was just an interesting word choice, from what I’ve heard—”

“You keep saying you’re hearing things and I’d just like to know who is telling you this stuff?” The Armorer laughs at you. A real laugh. 

“Small one, do you not think you’re spoken about throughout the galaxy? The human girl who trained with Jedi? Who wields her own saber?” The Armorer continues to inspect your lightsaber in her hands. “Special girl. Din Djarin hid you away for a reason. I must know what it is.” She hands the saber back to you and stands. “The choice isn’t his to make, by the way. Follow me.” 

She leads you further into the cave than you’ve ever been. 

“Where did Bo-Katan go?” You ask while you and Grogu follow behind her. 

“They had things to take care of.” The helmeted woman says simply like you should know. 

“They?” Who the heck is they ? 

“Din Djarin and Paz Vizsla went with Bo-Katan.” She’s not interested in talking about them anymore. 

“This is the forge.” She leads you and Grogu to a large stone circle with blue flames shooting up from around the edge. You pick Grogu up and watch as she begins to forge beskar right in front of you. “This is the heart of Mandalorian culture.” She tilts her helmet to look at you. “Just as we shape the Mandalorian steel, we shape ourselves. We all begin as raw ore… We refine ourselves with trials and adversity. ” She turns her helmet back to the forge. 

You think of all the trials and adversity you’ve faced in your life. A mother who died poor on the streets of Coruscant. An aunt who wasn’t your aunt who kicked you onto the streets of Canto Bight once you were old enough to care for yourself. No father. Sleeping on the streets yourself most nights until you scraped together enough money to rent a room. Then you worked at the casino, barely making enough to get by. Now all these things you were doing would be counted as trials and adversities, right? 

“It is Mandalorian culture for each to donate a small portion to the foundling. It is with these scraps that I forged your next piece of armor.” The Armorer hands Grogu a round flat piece of beskar. “Mandalorian armor will help you grow stronger. You will grow into this roundel as you grow into your station, foundling Grogu.” He holds it in his hands carefully and nods up to the helmeted woman in thanks.

You love that she brought you in here to witness Grogu get his next piece of armor. It makes your heart feel full. You love the child more than you ever thought you could. It was as if he was your own. 

“I forged this for you with my own beskar.” The Armorer says but you don’t bother looking up because you want to see Grogu receive his next piece of armor. She clears her throat after a moment and when you snap your head to her and she is holding out a black beskar helmet.

It looks nothing like Din’s, and you like that. Yours has three small slashes going across the left cheek, just like where your mechnosutures are on your face. The visor, instead of a T across the forehead and down the nose, is just a straight black line across the eyes. You can barely tell it's there. It's just pure black beskar with three silver scratches down the cheek and when you move the helmet from side to side, there is another under the right eye as well, where a new scar will form. It’s so shiny and even has a light on it. You can see it from here like Bo-Katan’s helmet. 

“Why?” You ask her, still not reaching for it because you don’t believe that she’s actually handing it to you. 

“For when you swear the creed.” She says simply. Your heart dies inside because you know you can’t. Din would be mad. So mad if you did that. Do you even care though? Do you really even care what Din Djarin wants? “Take it.” 

Your hands touch it for the first time and it almost feels like it might still be warm from the Forge. It's so heavy in your hands. You've never held one, only worn one on your head the one time. The helmet shines in the light again and you can see your reflection in the whole thing. Not just the visor. All of it, it's that shiny. It'll look so good with your freaking lightsaber, holy shit. It's the coolest thing you've ever touched besides the fucking darksaber. That was unmatched, unparalleled power in your hands. This feels special. It feels good as you hold it.

“It was mine once. I redesigned the outside for you. More fitting.” You look up to her and she’s scratching at her cheek with three fingers and one under her eye.

You can't hide your smirk because that is your least ferocious battle scar, but it works because you’re stuck with them. Maybe you should tell her that. Would she think it was funny? Because it kind of was now, after the fact. Sometimes. Most of the time you're still upset that he scarred you. The bacta therapy did not work as well as you had hoped. 

“I’m so honored.” You sigh disappointedly. “I can’t accept this. I don’t think I can swear the Creed. I care about Din and I don’t want him to be mad at me and possibly lose the gig I got on the ship and everything.” Your concussed brain is just letting it all out.

She shakes her hands at you, motioning for you to keep it anyway, she doesn't want it back. “It’s a gift. From me to you. Creed or not; you are brave, honorable, and loyal." She touches your good shoulder. “Don’t put it on until you leave, small one.” You nod and hold the shiny black metal helmet in your hand excitedly. You turn and see the monster on the wall behind you.

“That’s a mythosaur. I saw one of those down in the Living Waters.” You point to the black skull hanging on the wall. “The one I saw was way bigger.” You sigh and carefully put the helmet under your good arm. 

“You’re lucky to have seen a vision. It’s a very noble one to have.” She keeps her hand on your good shoulder as you two turn to leave. Noble? Vision? She just called you honorable and brave and now she's trying to downplay this amazing thing you saw. Din and Bo-Katan could barely believe it.

“I don’t think it was a vision.” You explain to her that when you slipped off Gogu’s orb and sank back down to the bottom, you didn’t land back on the sand and rubble. You landed on the mythosaur and it returned you and Din to the surface.

“It sounds like a vision, small dala.” She walks with you slowly, keeping with your pace. “The mythosaurs are all gone.” She sounds like she feels bad for you, for seeing things with your dumb, dying brain.

You don't blame her. You thought it was a hallucination until you awoke and started throwing up the Living Waters. You wonder if you should tell her that you ingested some and see if that makes you already sworn into the clan, like if you drink it does that just make you a part of the whole culture? Surprisingly you keep that to yourself. She's still pretty scary even though she was so much nicer this time. You wonder if it has anything to do with the state you're in. Battered and bruised. Partially dislocated and then fully dislocated and then popped back in again. Broken.

“I saw it. I’m telling you,” you turn to look directly into her helmet. “On all the honor and things you said I had back there; I saw it with my own eyes. I laid down and died for a moment on its scales. My hands touched it.” You're not sure if you're doing enough to make her believe what you saw down there.

She stays quiet just like everyone else in a helmet. The Armorer says nothing as she escorts you back to the ship.

Din never even said goodbye? And now you’re on the ship with Grogu and R5 without him. And it’s dark out. You and Grogu eat dinner together quietly and you walk him to his room, cradling him in your good arm. 

“I love you.” You coo the words down to him for the first time since you’ve known him. When you speak it to him it feels like a weight’s been lifted off of him and he sighs softly, nuzzling into your hand as you pet his forehead. He grabs your fingers with his little razor claws and pulls your hand closer and kisses the palm of it softly. It melts your heart. You’re glad you told him. 

The floor bed feels so empty without Din beside you. Exhaustion was threatening to make you fall asleep in the sand earlier and now, you can’t even close your eyes because you don’t know where Din is. The next morning he’s still gone. You lay on the closed up ship most of the day, looking at your new helmet. You thought you’d be more excited when you got one but it doesn’t feel good. It feels sad. Everything does. 

The sound of the ship's ramp opening makes your heart flutter. You can hear Din walking down the hall before you can get off the floor to go meet him. You’re working on pulling yourself to your feet with a little help of the bed next to you when he rushes in to help you up. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye yesterday. A foundling was taken by a raptor.” Din explains while you get to your feet. He presses his helmet to your forehead softly. 

“It’s fine. Is the child alright? Did you get him back?” Din nods at your question and sees the helmet on the ground next to you.

“You didn’t.” His rasp sounds shocked. “And you already took it off?” He sounds mad now. You furrow your eyebrows at him. 

“I didn’t swear the creed, you swamprat.” You shake your head at him from side to side. “It was a gift from The Armorer when I told her my friend wouldn’t let me.” You frown at him now and remember all the reasons you’re upset with him. 

“Bo-Katan told me that you’re devo-” 

“I know what Bo-Katan told you. I overheard that night.” Din rasps and you sigh loudly. You’re becoming more angry with him. “Come on. I have to move the ship. Come with me.” Din grabs your hand before you can protest and leads you into the cockpit. 

“I hope you know that you are… high on my list of priorities.” Din rasps softly after you sit down in the co-pilot’s chair. You grimace, not wanting to think about it. You had almost just forgotten about your anger watching him hold your hand and because you’re still concussed pretty badly.

“We don’t have to talk about it.” You look out the window while you say it. “We really don’t.” Din sighs from under his helmet and looks over at you. 

“I just want you to know that what Bo-Katan said is–” 

“True? I know. I’ve known for a while. You are devoted to your creed and your clan and that’s fine with me. I don’t have anything but you and the child and now R5 to be devoted to, it’s just frustrating to think of it that way. It makes me feel… useless. What good am I if you three aren’t around?” More non-filtered word garbage that falls out of your mouth because you don’t know how to control yourself with this concussion. All the thoughts that would normally just stay thoughts are piling up in your lap as they fall out of your mouth. 

Din is silent. You don’t say anything back either. Bo-Katan used that word devoted. Devoted to his creed, his clan. It hurt you when she said that. Both times you think. You had nothing to be devoted to. Not a religion. Not a clan. Not even a family up until now and you just feel stupid for it. Stupid for being so devoted to a man who isn’t even as devoted to you.

“I like you being devoted to-” Din rasps but you snap your head to him even though it hurts. 

“Of course you do.” You snap. “Who wouldn’t!? You trapped me in the Razor Crest and never let me leave and made me fall in love with you and now, I’d follow you down into the mines of Mand’alor apparently and get my back broken by some giant robot bug.” You sigh and look forward out the window again. “ You like me being devoted to you.” You audibly hmph from next to Din, loud enough for him to hear. He stays quiet for a minute, just looking over at you. 

“Trapped you?” Din sounds confused. “You asked–” 

“I know what I asked for. You still locked me up for ages and wouldn’t let me leave.” You snap at him angrily. “I have no friends! Just Bo-Katan! She’s the only one and I just got her.” You snap angrily. You were missing him so much last night and now, you wish he’d stop rasping out of the modulator and just let you go back to sleep. Din brought it up. You would have forgotten with your concussed brain had he not said anything. You would have sat down in the cockpit all happy and stupid. 

“You love me?” Din asks after a while. You look at him with your eyebrows furrowed.

“Who told you that?” You snip, still angry with him for whatever reason your broken-brain is telling you to be angry. None of that bothered you. Not until Bo-Katan opened her mouth. Din’s helmet turns rapidly side to side like he can’t believe what you just asked him. Like he was looking around the room for a witness that wasn’t there. It was just the two of you in this stupid cockpit.

“You did!?” You raise an eyebrow at his questioned statement. “Just a second ago.” 

“No I didn’t.” You turn your head forward again, looking out the window. Did you? You don’t remember saying that. You just remember… angry. Only the emotion, none of the things you just said. “I did not say that.” You snap. 

“You did too.” Din snaps back at you. “Said it yourself.” He turns his head to look forward as well and then it’s just quiet in the cockpit.

“Didn’t . I’m upset with you–” You go to turn your nose up at him but he cuts you off. 

“You can’t be upset with me. It’s one of the rules, remember?”

You stare at him now, blinking. He must be practicing for his new comedy set at the casino tonight. You do love him. Right now and for a while you have. It makes you sick to your stomach now for some reason. You hate that you love him. 

“I don’t follow the rules.” It comes out quick so he can’t interrupt you and now, you turn your nose up to him and look away. Another hmph comes out of your mouth. 

“You’re a brat.” Din shakes his head and presses a button on the dash for the first time since you guys sat down. You pretend to not be paying attention. “Pretty. But a brat.” You try hard to hold back the smile curling on your lips. Because if you’re a brat, Din made you one. You didn’t expect anything from him besides the credits you earned at the end of the week before you started doing it for free. You were not a brat two years ago when he dropped you off at the temple. Nope. If you were, it got beaten out of you by Ahsoka. 

You stay silent. Mostly because you don’t have a good comeback for him. Also, you don’t want to hear his rasping modulator voice in your ear anymore. Din presses buttons on the dash and checks meters and screens and looks so dumb while he does it. Not really. You’re just still mad, for whatever reason. You need a nap. You’re just grumpy. Or are you really upset? It’s hard to tell your brain feels like it’s covered in a thick layer of Grogu’s mouth slime. Everything feels kind of fuzzy and slow. You feel heavy. Your mouth feels like it has marbles in it most of the time. 

“Are you still upset with me?” Din says after a while. You shrug your one good shoulder but it’s on his side so he can see at least. 

“I don’t even know if I was actually upset with you to begin with. I don’t know what I’m feeling.” You want to say more but you hold back because a new thought just came into your brain but nothing about saying it would be constructive to your relationship with Din or to yourself. “I just thought you’d care about me more one day. And I think I just realized that is not going to happen.” You say it anyway, because of your broken fucking brain. You could die right here, you hope you do, you hope your brain is bleeding out and you don’t have to hear the response from the helmet to that stupid fucking thing you just said.

You stand up slowly from the chair you're in with a groan. Din watches you but says nothing. Of course. It’s good though, you didn’t want him to say anything. Maybe he didn’t hear you. You leave the cockpit in silence and make your way back to your room. You take all the blankets and your mat back to your bed and crawl into it and lay looking up at the sky above whatever planet you're stuck on with the Mandalorians. 

Tears come. Big, hot stupid tears that roll down the side of your face and into your ears. You do your best to keep them from reaching the canals but you only have the one hand, and they’re coming from both eyes so fast. You feel so stupid. A fool for opening your mouth and a fool for even ever having that thought in your head. 

Happily you would go back to Canto Bight if that’s where he wanted to take you. The thoughts of meeting someone and getting married and having children one day is always something you wanted. It obviously got put on the backburner when you decided to take this new job– a traveling job. You thought you’d get a night off every once in a while or you’d get to meet people– to possibly meet and get married to and have a child of your own with one day.

Din DID keep you locked away, starved of touch and attention and now you were mad at him for that. He showed you his face, yes, you know he cares for you but were your feelings for him true and real? You would have died for him, you almost did trying to save him. You don’t know if that constitutes love or insanity. Nothing feels right anymore and your head hurts now, your brain hurts. It’s broken and you’re trying to use it for the first time apparently and it hurts now. 

Grogu babbles from the side of your bed. You let your left arm dangle and he crawls up it. It hurts, he’s using his little claws but you don’t care. You bring him into your side and snuggle into him. 

“And one day you’ll be devoted to the creed and the clan too and it’ll just be me and R5.” You whisper down to him as tears continue their path down into your ear canals. You don’t even try to stop them anymore. This was worse than when Din shoved credits into your chest after the market. You wept that day, all day long you remember it like it was yesterday. You’re sobbing now. You can’t help it. Everything hurts and now you’re sad. Grogu crawls onto your chest and nuzzles into your neck gently. You bring your good hand up to his back and hold him while you cry. 

When you wake up, it’s dark in the ship and Grogu is gone. Din’s not in your bed. The tears are in your eyes before you even open them. The lack of body heat next to you hurts worse than any of the physical pain you feel. You swing your legs out of bed and wrap the blankets back around you the best you can. 

Silently, in the dark you feel your way to the door. It’s dark in the entire ship when the door opens. You sigh and shut it before you turn the light on so you don’t risk taking a peek at Din who is asleep in his bed. You get your orange candy from the cupboard and sit at the table in the dining area. You don’t even really want to eat anything but your mouth is so dry and you need something other than the fuzzy feeling on your tongue. 

You woke up still loving Din. The anger has left you and now you’re just sad. Full of it. It’s consuming you. What does your future with this man hold if he won’t let you swear the creed or join his clan? What does that mean for you?

“Can’t sleep?” Din’s rasp scares you from the hallway that leads to your bedroom.

You shrug your one good shoulder and pop another candy into your mouth.

“Well I can’t sleep.” Din walks to the table and sits down across from you.

It’s hard to avoid looking at his helmet, but you do your best because you don’t know what to say and if you look at him, the words you don’t want to say will start to come out. 

“What are you expecting of me?” Din asks softly from behind the helmet. The response you want to give and the one you actually give are two different things.

“Nothing.” You whisper, you still haven’t looked at him. “Literally, nothing.” You roll a candy in between your fingers slowly. 

“You’re lying.” Din rasps softly. 

“What do you expect from me?” You return the question back to him now. Because you’re not really sure anymore, honestly. You finally look up at his helmet and he’s shaking it from side to side slowly. “Right. Also nothing.” You huff softly and roll your eyes. 

“I expect you to be on the floor when I come to bed. You were not.” This curls the corners of your lips into a smirk when he says it. “I was disappointed… to not sleep on the floor.” You smirk now and Din reaches across the table. “Do you still want to be here? With me? On the floor?” You nod at him. Din is the most lovely man you’ve met and maybe it was just Maker’s plan for you to meet the way you did. “Then let us go sleep on the floor together. Like always and until forever?” It’s a question as Din holds his hands out to yours. 

Din unwraps you from the blanket you’re in after he sets up your mats on the floor alongside each other. His hands guide you down to the floor carefully. 

“Can I make you feel good?” Din’s unmodulated voice in the dark whispers into your ear. 

“Please.” You need to feel his heat against you. You miss it. 

Din places his hips between yours and slides his already erect cock along your slit. He moves so slow that he’s quivering above you. His chest drops down to yours gently and he kisses your lips softer. 

“I love you.” It’s barely a whisper against your mouth. “I’m devoted to you.” Din kisses you again before you can register what he’s just said to you. Din rocks his hips forward inches at a time while his cock nestles harder against your quickly soaking slit. He’s ten-million-degrees like always and it feels so good. He passes his heat along to you as he pulls back, just as slow. You’re kissing Din harder than you’ve ever kissed anyone in your whole life and he’s fighting you for dominance, he wants to kiss you harder, his tongue needs to be further into your mouth. Din is winning, hes’ overtaking you, pushing your head back into your pillow as his tongue swirls around yours. 

The head of his cock drags down into your folds and presses up against your entrance, he hesitates. Din is still kissing you, he’s dropped down to his elbow and has one hand in your hair, holding it so gently as his tongue swirls around yours now lazily that he’s got you pushed back into the pillows, on top of you. Din slips the tip of himself into you and then stops. He pulls away from your kiss reluctantly at the sound of your protest. 

“I love you too.” You whimper up to him as his lips leave yours. “So much.” You wrap your left arm around the back of his neck and snake your fingers up into his hair. “I’m sorry I’m a brat–” Din pushes the rest of himself inside of you and kisses you again before you can finish. He goes back to those slow lazy kisses. He’s timing the swirl of his tongue around yours to his hips thrusting inside of you and something about it has your head spinning as you try and pull him closer into you. It’s impossible, Din is as close to you as he can get, he’s literally inside of you but you arch your back so you can press your chest into his. You don’t care that it hurts, you need to be closer to him, need to be pressed into him as tightly as you can be. 

This wasn’t like the last two times he was inside of you. No, the last times he was inside you it was like the man couldn’t be contained, couldn’t control himself. These were the gentle and patient movements of a man who cares and loves the woman below him. These kisses were unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. You two were just sharing each other's breath while you embraced. 

Din’s hips start to thrust slowly. He’s panting when you pull away from the kisses to moan softly. You’re also panting, all of your air is in Din’s lungs. You’ll share your air with him forever, you don’t care. He can have it. All the puzzle pieces just fell into place when Din said those words you were so desperate to hear. You didn’t even know you needed to hear them so badly. 

“I want you to have my Mandalorian children.” Din whispers to you as he rolls his hips into you gently. “ I want that. Badly. ” The words quiver as they come out of him, like it’s something he’s wanted and now could possibly get, if only you said yes. You push your hips up into his and nod against his forehead, pushing your lips against his. You let out an agreeable moan against his mouth. Everything about how your body reacted to his statement screamed yes. Din felt the yes come out of you silently in his hands and against his chest and in his hips when you pushed back against him. 

Din rocked his hips like that against yours, his head moving from between kissing your neck and shoulder to kissing your lips and jaw. He kisses you everywhere he could reach while still being inside of you. He’d whisper Mando’a into your ear; what he whispered to you the night when you thought you were dreaming. Then he repeated it back to you so you could understand him. 

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum.  Kyr'am Kelir kis'wa mhi.  Pal'vut ratiin. I love you. Death will part us. Mine always.” It’s whispered so softly you think you might be dreaming again and have to pull away to look at Din in the dark even though you cannot see him. “Death is the only thing that could keep me away from you.” He coos down to you through the void. 

“I’d follow you into the afterlife.” You murmur back as his hips start to rock into yours more forcefully. “I’d follow you anywhere. ” Your hand in his hair tightens gently as he presses his face into the crook of your neck. Din’s panting as he tries to hold back. 

“I can’t anymore.” Din groans into your neck like he’s frustrated. His hips start bucking into yours with more force. “It’s too good–too p-perfect.” It’s strained like he’s been holding it in for so long. Everything inside of you is telling to stop but the feeling between your legs is roaring to keep going. It's drowning out all the pain as he drives himself into you now with more speed. “Y-You’re too b-beautiful.” 

You find release in those hard, fast thrust into your aching cunt. You didn’t realize how badly you needed this. Your cunt clenches down onto him as you come and it pulls the most vulgar sound you’ve ever heard out of him. You have to bite your lip at the noise he just made because it made another wave of pleasure wash over you as he drives his hips into yours one last time. 

“Fuuck.” Din growls into your shoulder. “It’s so good.” He’s groaning, and you can feel him coming inside of you, pumping you full of his Mandalorian seed with meaning. “Fuck. I’m going to do that forever.” He declares as he slowly pulls himself from within you. “Are you hungry? I’m starving.” Din sighs down at you in the dark. You’re still reeling from what just happened. 

You and Din just had a whole conversation while you got nailed in the most romantic fashion. Professed your love for one another, and now, he’s asking if you’d like to share a ration? There is so much you want to say. So much you want to talk about. Din’s padded footsteps in the dark, and then the door are the only sounds you hear until he’s back, sitting on the ground next to you handing you a cracker. 

“Eat. You need it.” Din is munching on something in the dark, talking over whatever he’s got in his mouth. 

“I honestly didn’t think you actually ate anything. Ever.” You say into the void as you take the cracker he’s nudging all around your hand trying to find your palm. Din chuckles and you hear him take another bite of whatever it is he's eating. 

“I eat your orange candies while you sleep.” Din chuckles again. You gasp before you can take a bite of the cracker.

“Are you serious?” You ask into the dark and await a response. Din just laughs. “Because I’ve been blaming Grogu. Every day I blame him for it. You’ve listened to me blame him for taking it!” You exclaim. 

“He’s the perfect cover. Can’t talk. Is a child. Loves candy. ” Din admits to you from within the darkness through more chuckles. You gasp again. 

“You really are a big beskar-wearin’ lying sonofabitch!” You are in shock. It’s such an innocent thing to lie about. Grogu never got in trouble, just a ‘really?’ when you hold up the quickly dwindling bag of candy in front of him. “What else do you lie about, Din Djarin?” You leer into the darkness, waiting. It stays quiet for a long time. “Liyin’ Din Djarin should be your name.” You tease. 

Din can’t even stifle his laugh, he tries but it doesn’t work and you too laugh in the darkness together for a couple minutes. It feels good to laugh with Din like this. 

“I’m sorry for the things I said to you. You didn’t trap me. I stayed because I liked being on the ship. I liked my mat.” You’re honest with Din, you did love being on the Crest with him and Grogu and as mean as he was in the start you did miss him when he was gone. You always felt safe when he was around. “You’re very good to me. Keep me safe.” You reach for him in the dark and touch his shin. “I appreciate you very much. I don’t think I tell you that, ever. Thank you.”

Din lets you speak and crunches on what sound like crackers in the dark while you talk to him. “Anything for you.” Din says as he crawls into the sheets beside you. “I'd do anything.”

tag list: @thereaperisabitch @pedrospookie @furiousmushroom @creepycorbeaux @harriedandharassed @realmamabear79 @blahkateisdone @picketniffler @cheekychaos28 @lilac-boo @pedrostories @wandamaximoff4578 @probablyreadinsmut @katw474 @cowboy-like-m3 @gummy-dummy

[amailboxlemur]

A bit of a longshot, but did Edvin do an interview recently where he talked about how nervous he and Omar were before Jimmy Fallon? I think he said something about panicking and feeling like they forgot their english?

If anyone knows what I’m talking about I’d really appreciate it.

[allisonreader]

I don’t know what this is, where it came from, what its purpose is. It’s supposed to be a time loop piece to put up for the Chesterton challenge for the prompt repetition; which it definitely fits, but why all the sewing? I’m writing it, but I couldn’t tell you. It became derailed from the first word and thinking of the phrase “a stitch in time”. So here we go, my sewing heavy time loop musing? Story? I’m not sure what to call it.

All I know is that (as @melliabee and @lover-of-the-starkindler know) it came after sharing fic recs and having read a fic dealing with time loops. So vaguely and indirectly those two mentioned inspired this in an extremely roundabout way as I still don’t know what this is.

But anyways, this is my piece for the Chesterton Challenge for the prompt repetition. (As repetitive as this note is getting, the writing piece below will be more.) @inklings-challenge

Time loops and sewing 🧵🧵🧵

Stitch, stitch, stitch. 🪡_ _ _

The needle goes into the fabric and is pulled out again and again. 🪡_ _ _

Into the fabric and pulled out. 🪡_ _ _

The same motions over and over.

The pull getting shorter each time a new stitch is made. Until a new piece of thread is started and the process starts a new, with the stitches continuing.

All working to create something; whether it be practical, decorative or somewhere in between. Connecting past and future.

There’s a reason that the phrase a stitch in time is brandied around.

Sewing and time have more in common than you might think. Both deal with fabric/material that can wrinkle, snag, tear, rip, ripple, gets stuck, fold up on itself, and can be seen to be linear.

But let’s talk about the snags, the hang ups, getting stuck sewing in the same place.

If you’re using the sewing machine sometimes it’s not always immediately obvious that you’ve caught up on something; until there’s a whole pile of thread under your fabric, getting thread jammed up through the needle plate, tangling everything up and potentially needing scissors and removal of the needle plate to fix the problem.

Not so for hand sewing.

By hand, built up thread is most likely intentional unless you weren’t paying attention and were stitching in the same place, but being an easier catch as soon as your attention returns. None of the thread the same place as it builds up.

Time loops are much the same. There are some that you enter and everything seems fine at first, but once you realize that something is wrong, then you realize how big of a mess that you’re in. That your situation might require scissors and the removal of the needle plate.

Other times you don’t catch what’s happening right away, but the build up is less. Your attention is drawn to what’s happening sooner. The solution is not always as large.

And other times again you know exactly what’s happening. You want it to happen. You want it to happen again and again. You are purposefully repeating your stitch over and over, creating your build up purposefully before moving on.

Slight differences between each time. Each cycle never truly being the same, though it feels like it. The uneven stitches are being laid, but just because each stitch is uneven, it doesn’t mean that something isn’t being created that’s beautiful or has hidden strength.

Teaching you a lesson if nothing else. Sewing and time loops will both teach you just as many lessons as the other. Both feel like they go on for forever but both do eventually come to an end, leaving you shocked that the project or loop is finally finished.

For sewing you simply pick up another project and go again, though I’ve never met a person who wants to figure their way out of a time loop again. Not unless they’re the one to start the loop in the first place.

🪡_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The fabric folds and creases.

The needle goes in and out, in and out. Pull. Watch the stitches being laid. One stitch, two stitch, around and around.

A satin stitch here, some backstitching here, maybe some chain stitching for added interest. Still the needle goes in and out, just like time goes on and on, even if it repeats itself.

Time loops are like thread in a tangle, knotting up on itself and being a pain to loosen its loops out of the knots.

Be careful, the fabric of space time can rip and tear. Stitch it up carefully, you don’t want it to fray.

When fabric frays it will keep fraying depending on exactly what type of material you’re using. Some fabrics won’t fray. A knit generally doesn’t fray, but it can unravel. Woven material is what frays, some more than others. It depends on the fibres used and how it was woven together.

The right needle helps go through the material properly.

It’s all about using the right tool when needed. Sometimes you need something more specific than the generic works for most thing tool. A ballpoint/stretch/jersey needle works best on knits and stretch. The needle will push beside the fibres instead of through them like a sharp needle will.

Sometimes you have to test to find out what that right tool is. The right tool will make the job easier and help you finish the job quicker. There’s less of a struggle that way. But it will still take time to do things right.

🪡_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The needle goes in, the needle goes out, a stitch has been formed. The process repeats. Needle into the fabric, needle out of the fabric.

With a needle and thread the stitches can gather the fabric. Tight folds making there be a greater volume of material in a smaller place.

A time loop of its own kind. A repeating process to get a similar result. Though never quite the same from one to the next.

A stitch here, a stitch here; to gather as you go or to gather all at once. Both ways having their own difficulties. Both having their benefits.

Gathering can even be done by machine.

Two rows of stitches side by side, pulling the threads of both. But beware if one thread breaks, you can come close to losing it all. The strands of time can be just as fickle if you’re not careful. Pull the wrong one too hard and you could end up stuck permanently or with the wrong spot to stop or simply starts it all again.

The needle goes in, the needle goes out, the stitch is formed, push the fabric close. Knot the end of your thread and begin again.

🪡_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Stitch, stitch, stitch. A stitch in time and all that, you know dear?

The needle goes into the fabric and out.

In and out, sometimes in different movements, but there’s always going into the material and the needle being pulled through until it’s out.

Repetitive, soothing, traditional. A constant that changes, but is always needed in some form.

Time is much the same. Repetitive, following patterns, a constant that changes. Day in, day out. The same activities day to day, week to week.

A time loop in constant motion. Drudgery unless it’s made to be more.

Haven’t you guessed it by now? Different but the same. New but old. Stitching all along, talking about time?

Well, maybe you need a few more rounds yet. I’ll still be here stitching, waiting, changing the same, because time has similarities to sewing.

I won’t be the one to unravel the mysteries of the greater universe, that’s for a higher power than me. I’m just a person who sews, watching and passing the time as I move my needle through the material.

[caelum-in-the-avatarverse]

Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.

So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.

Lurkers really are great, tho

I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.

Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.

The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.

Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.

There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.

I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 

I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.

I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.

So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.

But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.

I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.

Should we gatekeep fandom?

I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--

A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.

That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.

See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.

So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.

The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.

And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”

Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.

Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.

And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.

However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 

I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.

And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 

And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)

But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.

Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.

Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.

Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 

While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:

[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 

OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]

-

“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.

I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.

It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 

So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.

And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.

So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.

Think of it like a garden gate

When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.

The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 

Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 

Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.

My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.

But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.

I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.

Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.

And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.

Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.

There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.

[chuluoyi]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐖𝐈𝐅𝐄

- zayne x reader

everyone knows dr. zayne is cool as a cucumber, and it's a given for him that you're known as his wife, but when a fresh-faced new resident seemingly makes a move on you... what will he do?

genre/warnings: very suggestive, jealousy (a very jealous zayne, in fact), making out in his office, crack, fluff, hunter!reader, you and zayne have a daughter

note: inspired by that one kim min-kyu scene in business proposal :D this is actually an extension for nocturne of twilight and dawn's first light but can also be read as standalone

You hadn't seen your husband for two weeks.

There was a spring on your step when you entered Akso Hospital right after your long intercity mission. You had acquired some bruises and they weren't anything serious, so you figured you’d just have Greyson treat them. Besides, it gave you the perfect excuse to hand him some cookies as a souvenir.

And, of course, ask him to ring for Zayne to meet you once he had the time.

"Miss, do you need help?"

But a curious voice addressed you when you loitered around in the lobby, and you turned around to find a bright-faced young man with red hair and wearing doctor's coat.

"Ah, yes, I want to meet Dr. Zayne," you smiled. "Or Dr. Greyson will do."

The young doctor perked up at the names you mentioned. "Oh, are you a patient? Do you have an appointment already?"

"Hmm, no, actually I am—"

You halted mid-sentence before the words his wife slipped out, rethinking your choice. You knew of Zayne's infamous reputation in the hospital, and while almost everyone in his floor knew you, this new doctor didn't, and you thought it was best to leave it that way.

"Yeah, I already have an appointment," you nodded, plastering an thin smile. "Just tell Dr. Greyson that Y/N wants to meet him."

"Right, right, I'll page him now..." he mumbled, pulling out his pager and his phone. "I'll text him too..."

"Thank you."

"O-oh, Miss! Wait!" the young man called after you in a hurry when you turned around. "I've noticed it for a while, you have a cut on the side of your lips..."

"Ah, this..." Your fingers instinctively brushed the dried blood on your lips. You hadn’t thought the small cut was noticeable. "Yes, it’s from earlier—"

"Actually, I’m an ER resident!" he interrupted with a bright grin. "Let me treat you first!"

Caught off guard by his enthusiasm, you barely had time to react as he gently but firmly guided you towards the emergency room.

"Dr. Zayne! Dr. Zayne! Your wife is here~!"

Zayne had barely stepped into his office after a grueling surgery when Greyson barged in, all too casually, delivering the news with a grin. "She’s waiting in the lobby!"

He blinked, slightly taken aback. "Oh?"

You're back? He pulled out his muted phone, checking the notifications. Sure enough, you’d sent him a message an hour ago, letting him know you’d safely landed in Linkon.

His little, snarky wife. For the past two weeks you had been away, the house had felt lonelier. Sure, his daughter—who resembled you in personality, no less—was a bundle of sunshine and adorable beyond words, but without you, there was always that subtle void in the air.

Or maybe it wasn’t the house at all? Maybe it was just him—utterly, hopelessly whipped.

"Why isn’t she coming up to my office?" he asked suddenly, noticing the odd detail.

"Hmm, yeah, and it’s weird... why did the new resident say she’s asking for me?" Greyson mused, turning toward Zayne. "Don’t you want to meet her instead? Whatever she needs me for, I’m sure you could handle it."

Zayne promptly left his office and took long strides toward the elevator. As the doors started to close, he even half-sprinted, calling out to the person inside to hold it for him.

Okay, maybe he was a little too eager, but was it really so wrong to be this excited to see his wife again when the two of you had been apart for two weeks?

...then again, you didn't need to know. You would roast him to bits should you know he missed you this much.

Zayne got off at the lobby, expecting to find you there— only to find the usual flow of hospital staff and visitors. He was about to call you when he wandered past the emergency room and turned the corner—and that’s when he got his shock of the day.

There you were. But not alone.

With a guy.

Whose hand is touching your lips.

"It must be tough being a hunter, huh?"

The red-haired resident carefully tended to your bruised arm, wrapping it in a fresh bandage as you sighed, thinking back to the mission. "Yeah, there are definitely some hard days..."

"But despite all that, you still keep yourself in shape!" he remarked, eyeing your toned arms with a hint of admiration.

You let out a sheepish laugh, remembering those pull-ups sessions with Zayne. "Haha, that's because my husband makes sure I'm getting enough exercise..."

"You're married?!" His voice was filled with disbelief, and it caught you off guard, yet he grinned afterwards. "Wow! Is he a hunter too?"

You would've never guessed, boy. This resident doctor was cute, you thought, ever so curious at everything. You could only imagine the look on his face if you told him that the Dr. Zayne was your husband.

You were about to refute it when his fingers brushed against your lips. "Oh, sorry, let me apply some ointment here first..."

His touch felt cool to your lips and you were momentarily stunned at the contact— but then a gruff cough startled you so much you almost jumped.

The towering figure of your husband behind him. Zayne's dark gaze was fixed on the man in front of you, like he could murder the poor guy with just a look.

"Z-Zayne...?" you squeaked against the ointment on your lips, and the resident quickly turned behind him in surprise, hastily greeting him, "Oh, Dr. Zayne!"

Zayne shot the poor man a single, pointed look before his gaze shifted to you, clearly unamused.

He suddenly grabbed your hand and, without sparing the resident another glance, swiftly pulled you away. The other guy was left standing there, speechless, as Zayne led you off, leaving him in the dust.

. . .

"Zayne!"

Oh, how he actually missed his name coming out from your lips.

"Are you done with your schedule?" you asked as he pulled you into the elevator, confusion evident in the way you tilted your head. But when he didn’t answer, you glanced down at his firm grip on your arm, suddenly realizing something. "Wait, no... are you angry?"

Sigh. It irked him so much, actually. Because, how could you, after weeks—

No, he actually knew he was being irrational. He shouldn’t overreact like this just because someone else touched you. But why is he so annoyed, still?

"Wait, why?" you kept asking, wide-eyed, as the two of you stepped out and made way towards his office. "I'm not injured! I'm fine! It's just some bruises—"

Without a word, Zayne pulled you into his office, swiftly locking the door behind him. Before you could say another word, he cornered you against the wall, and you fell silent instantly.

It had been a while since he’d seen you this way—stunned, caught off guard, and utterly silent under his gaze. He studied your face closely, watching the way your breath hitched as the tension between you both thickened.

It sparked something inside him seeing you like this, a sense of satisfaction that he couldn’t quite explain, but one he welcomed nonetheless.

That was when he saw the blood on your lips. "Did you get punched in the face?"

"Y-Yes, but— it's nothing severe!" you defended, trying to convince him. "It's such a small cut anyway!"

He frowned. "Why didn't you come to me?"

"What? Hey, I was about to ask Greyson, but—"

That got him frown even deeper, even irate. "Why Greyson? When you come home with any injuries, you come to me, not anyone else."

You let out a resigned sigh, slumping your shoulders in defeat. "Because I know you'll fuss over me, duh."

"I don't fuss," he retorted.

"You do," you shot back, pursing your lips. "You try to act like this cool, calm robot all the time, but you always drone on and on whenever you patch me up. You're worried, it shows."

Zayne huffed, shifting his gaze away from you as he felt his face burn. Was he that obvious? How could he not, though, when you managed to get hurt so often and yet acted so innocent about it?

Then as if inspired, you caught on immediately. Your eyes sparkled, and a mischievous smirk tugged at your lips. "Wait, just now... don't tell me... Are you jealous?"

Damn.

"Heh, Dr. Zayne, really?" Your voice was playful now, mocking him. "Whoa, how can this be?"

How had you figured him out so easily?

You continued in a sing-song voice, putting both hands on your chest, "Ah, my heart flutters! My husband is apparently—"

Enough. This time, his patience snapped.

He didn’t hesitate even for a moment. A low growl escaped him, and in one swift motion, he crashed his lips against yours, silencing you with the most effective method he could think of.

"Mmph!" You gasped in surprise, the teasing words at the end of your tongue completely forgotten. His gray eyes gleamed. Been too long, he thought, and now he was making sure you knew just how badly he craved this.

The kiss was searing as he deepened it, his tongue seeking yours with urgency. "Hngh!" You let out a feeble whine when he teased you by biting your lips.

Zayne held back a snort. One of his hand then strayed inside your hunter uniform, unclasping your bra with a flick.

"—?!" Your eyes widened as you realized what was happening, and before you could process it, he pulled away. But you were far from right in thinking it was over. The dangerous gleam in his eyes kept you tense as he swiftly removed his glasses...

...before he pulled you back towards him and claimed your lips once again.

With a swift, commanding motion, he guided you toward his desk. His papers scattered at the sudden movement, but he had you bent over it regardless, forcing your body to arch. One arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you firmly against him, while his right hand fondled your breasts, repeatedly squeezing, palming and switching between them.

"Mmm...!" You let out a strangled moan, instinctively holding onto his shoulder, feeling the way how he groped you ignited your core. "Ahh..."

Your body was tantalizing as always. Hardened and sometimes bruised from your work it may be, but to Zayne, you were still beautiful as ever.

When you gasped for air, he decided he was done with your swollen lips. His lips then trailed down to your neck, sucking hard on it, creating a squelching sound that sent a shiver racing down your spine.

"W-what's... gotten into you...?" you breathed out, tangling your fingers in his hair, hyperaware of his hands still roaming over your nipples.

In response, he nibbled at your skin and flicked your breasts at the same time, causing you to freeze and draw a sharp, hitched breath. "Haah...!"

Unbeknownst to you, his lips curled wickedly at your reaction, and he continued to pepper your neck with series of wet sucks as if to mark you altogether. You writhed under him, whiny and sighing, relishing his hot breath on your skin.

You were utterly at his mercy, pliant and helpless in his hands. There was a deep satisfaction in knowing he was the only one who could bring you, his lawfully wedded wife, to this state—

Still, he wouldn’t allow you to be indecent in a place like this. When he finally pulled back, he was breathing heavily, eyes dark with lust, his fingers lightly tracing the edge of your jaw. "Don’t tempt me," he muttered, voice low and raspy.

You gazed up at him, your heart pounding. "Zayne..." you whispered, a whine broke through the heat on your flushed face.

His expression softened just enough, a flicker of tenderness cutting through the intensity. Pretty. That’s what you were, undeniably so. How he had missed out on you so long once was his greatest regret.

Carefully, he helped you sit upright, his touch gentle as he clasped your bra and began buttoning up your uniform, disheveled from his earlier ministrations.

The gentle way he touched you was a stark contrast to how it was earlier. "Is that a new way to treat busted lip?" you nudged his collar, feeling a little braver now.

"For bad wives, yeah."

"I'm not a bad wife! Just disobedient on some occasion."

Zayne's fingers brushed your face as he finished with your uniform, his dark-gray eyes steady on you. You pouted.

"You're the one who's bad," you accused with slight resentment, not missing a beat as the heat between your legs started to dissipate. "Leaving me unfinished like that."

"Hmm? Am I?" he murmured, the faintest amusement in his tone.

"You have to take responsibility tonight, you big meanie," you mumbled, your pout deepening as you avoided meeting his gaze.

Zayne snorted at the sight of you—so precious in his eyes, his thumb lightly grazing the corner of your lips in a gesture so tender it made your heart skip, before whispering in your ear:

"Well, if your voice won't wake our daughter, that is."

Epilogue

Not long after, just as you had gathered yourself and were preparing to leave the hospital to head home, a sudden knock at the door of his office startled you both.

Quickly, you moved to sit on the patient’s seat, feigning nonchalance as you braced yourself for whoever was on the other side. Zayne reached for the door, but before he could unlock it, a familiar voice called out.

"Excuse me!" the resident's voice sounded a bit hesitant but firm. "Dr. Zayne, the miss left her handbag earlier!"

Zayne let out a low, irked sigh. You glanced at him curiously, watching as he opened the door and came face-to-face with the redheaded resident.

Without a word, he extended his hand, and the resident blinked before handing over the bag.

"I-is the miss still here?" the young doctor asked, almost intimidated by his unfriendly gaze.

"Ma'am," Zayne corrected, his voice flat.

"Huh?"

"Call her ma'am. She's someone's wife."

"O-oh, and her husband is—"

"Me. I am her husband."

Your eyes widened in surprise at the matter-of-fact exchange, heat rising to your cheeks as Zayne’s words hung confidently in the air. He curtly thanked the poor resident before slamming the door shut in his face.

Your jaw practically hit the floor. "Zayne!" you gasped, staring at him as he turned back towards you, entirely unbothered.

Your husband was as cold as the snowman he often made, but somehow the way he boldly declared he was your husband was just so him that it made you so giddy.

You tilted your head, crossing your arms with a playful smile. "You’re really jealous, huh? How?"

He didn’t answer, his gaze still fixed elsewhere, most definitely trying to save his dignity.

You chuckled softly, stepping closer to him with a teasing sway. Your fingers traced the sharp line of his jaw, turning him to face you, and you winked at him mischievously.

"Well, I’m all yours. But if it makes you feel better, maybe I’ll stay away from any ER residents for a while~"

[monstersholygrail]

very classic but summoning a demon to fuck you and he gets a little obsessed 🙏

Imagine Himbo Demon was one day just casually going about his business, torturing a mortal with the agonizing act of small talk when suddenly a flash of white explodes across his vision. The next thing he knows he’s standing in a magical circle of your own design and he can’t get out.

You ask if he’s an incubus and that’s when he notices the book in your hand, ‘How to Summon Incubi With Your Friends: The Party Guide.’ He also looks you over and notices how painstakingly pretty you are and thinks… he could be an incubus.

That night he has what he claims as the best sex of his eternal life, no doubt about it. The way your body moved as you rode him within an inch of his life made him swear he was being taken back to heaven. The way you tasted sweeter than the finest nectar till it burned permanently into his senses. Every last bit of you was addicting.

When the summoning spell’s time was coming to a close, the demon actually felt an ache at the idea of leaving you and your sweet, sweet holes. He tried to reach for you once more but with a flash of white he was back in hell. His heart and his cock aching for you.

The minute he can he’s scouring hell’s library for the book he saw in your grasp. He reads it like a man possessed, ironically, looking for the spell you must’ve used.

As he’s reading the book, an Incubus just so happens to look over at him. Sensing eyes on him he looks up and their gazes meet. The Incubus reads the cover of the book he has and his eyes widen. He begins slowly inching away from Himbo Demon before turning and quickly rushing off.

Himbo Demon tilts his head, curious as to why the Incubus gave such a reaction. But after a moment of brief confusion, he goes back to reading the book. His eyes brightening as he finds the spell.

That night he clumsily performs the spell. His mind foggy with lust. His cock red, angry, and dripping with precum as he thinks about drowning in your holes, lapping up your essence like it’s the only food he’ll ever need and then fucking you until you’re raw and swollen, only to soothe any pain with his tongue.

Himbo demon growls, reaching down and lazily stroking his cock with one hand and performing the spell with the other. Somehow by a true miracle, it works. He appears back in the same fading circle he appeared in last time. His eyes ignite with feral need and his gaze flickers around the low-lit room before a door opens and you come waltzing in wearing nothing but a towel.

“Miss me, baby?” He snarls in excitement, knowing now he has a way to keep coming back to you.

You yelp, jerking back against the wall in surprise. Not expecting the demon to be here again but you’re not exactly upset about it either. Himbo Demon smiles wickedly, but in truth he’s just so happy to see you! He moves at the speed of lightning and he’s on you in an instant. His tall lithe body caging you in against the wall. You exhale shakily, your body tingling with need and your belly churning with arousal as you glance down at his fat cock bobbing and dribbling with his own arousal.

The scent of you floods Himbo Demon’s senses and he growls, fangs flashing in the moonlight that peaks in from the window. Feeling beyond thrilled that the spell worked. That he can go to you whenever he feels like it now. So long as you keep the summoning circle up, that is. But he’s too focused on your new easy access to even try and realize that.

“Don’t worry, sweet human. I’ve found my way back to you and your glorious body. From now on we shall never be parted and I can properly fuck your weak mortal shell ragged as much as I desire. And there is much… much desire,” Himbo Demon rasps heatedly, looking down at you with a fire in his eyes.

Before you can even think to respond, the demon is shredding your towel into two, revealing your body to him in all its glory. He barely takes the time to appreciate the view and suddenly he’s pressing into, rubbing his length along the height of your belly.

And you know this is the start of a wild adventure. One you’re sure is bound to last more than another night.

[pixlokita]

Painful wing fanart incoming but you already knew about it and colored it so like -w- hiding it for the gore and blood tho >>

I feel like it was less gory in black and white but honestly 👀✨ aight don’t mind me I’m going to the tag now

BEHOLD!!! AN ART TRADE!!! @pixlokita it is time!

Caution, do not click read more if you do not intend to read. This is 12,192 words. And no, I'm not kidding. This is so much longer than most of the stuff I write. That being said, enjoy!!!

Evan said Michael was sick, which worried Jeremy. Being sick should not mean Michael would try so hard to avoid Jeremy, especially since he knew it would make Jeremy worry about him more.

But the main part Jeremy was worried about was the way Evan’s new wings kept fluffing up. Was Michael mad at him?

Don’t worry about it, Jeremy, he told himself. If Michael’s mad, he’ll tell you eventually.

It just stung. Evan and Gregory were wandering around the house, trying to see if their wings would allow them to do various things. Evan’s were too small to do much, and Gregory still hadn’t gotten used to them yet, but at least they had something to do while Mr. Emily tried to figure out what could possibly cause this.

“Ugh!” Gregory exclaimed, plopping down on the sofa next to Jeremy. He took the soda from Jeremy’s hand and took a giant sip. “These things suck.”

“What do you mean?” Jeremy asked, unsuccessfully trying to retrieve his Coke.

“I mean,” Gregory scowled, taking another sip, “that wings are stupid. They don’t even bend the way I want them to.”

“Well…” Jeremy said thoughtfully. “They are just extra limbs, right? With bones and joints and stuff?”

“I guess so.” Gregory finally gave Jeremy his soda back. “But they don’t move how I want-“

“You couldn’t do much when you were a baby right? Learning to crawl?” Jeremy chugged the rest of his Coke before putting the empty can down. “It’s an accomplishment when babies get their heads off the floor on their own, you know. And rolling and stuff.”

“Oh.” Gregory clearly hadn’t thought about it that way. “But Evan’s got excellent control already.”

“He’s had them longer.” Jeremy shrugged. “Maybe he’s just a quick learner. Or maybe, there’s less wing to work with. Could be a bunch of things.”

“But…” Gregory sighed. He inched closer to Jeremy on the couch, his wings refusing to bend in a natural way.

Jeremy awkwardly looped a comforting arm around Gregory. “You’ll get there eventually.”

“They just hurt. All the time.”

“I can’t help with that,” Jeremy chuckled.

“Sure you can! Mike did this thing once, where he…” Gregory chewed his lip. “Well, I’m not exactly sure what he did.”

“You want me to pet you?” Jeremy said in disbelief. “Nuh uh. Go ask Evan. That’s not… No.”

“Why’d you make it weird?” Gregory shook his head. “It was like…”

“Like a shoulder massage,” Evan interjected helpfully. His wings flexed, expanding fully as he explained. They barely went past his shoulders, but the point got across.

Jeremy admired the confidence with which he showed them. He’d personally be too worried about people calling him a freak. Which, thinking about it, was not likely to happen in this house. Everyone was too nice here.

“Mikey went like this,” Evan said, pulling Jeremy’s arm back to get to Gregory’s wings.

Gently, Evan messaged the inner edge of Gregory’s wings, right where they extended from his back. Gregory’s wings convulsed, the claw on one nearly hitting Jeremy in the face. “I think they get itchy,” Evan mused. “We might have to just do this more often.”

“No kidding,” Gregory said with a sigh, his eyes closing and his shoulders relaxing. “But Mike’s still better at it.”

“Wonder where he got his practice,” Jeremy replied. He didn’t mean to sound bitter, but it still came across that way.

Evan winched, but he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he kept focused on his task. Gregory sighed absently. “Wings are a lot of work.”

“Seems that way,” Jeremy replied.

Gregory folded and unfolded his hands while Evan worked. “I just…”

Jeremy spared him a glance as he went to get another can of Coke. “Something on your mind?”

“His girlfriend,” Evan said absently.

“Cassie’s not my girlfriend!” Gregory said, straightening. His wings fluffed up as he said it.

“Oh.” Jeremy had no idea what to make of that. “What happened to her?”

“I don’t know!” Gregory replied. He ran a hand through his hair to try to make it lay flat. “She was at Evan’s party, and she looked really bad. I think Mike took care of it, but he didn’t really say anything about it afterwards.”

“She’s probably at the hospital, Gregory,” Evan replied, trying to be soothing. “We can visit her once we figure out what to do about this first.”

“Stupid wings,” Gregory grumbled. “Making everything harder.”

Jeremy didn’t know how to reply to that. He cracked the can open and took a sip. “Have you asked Mike?”

“He’s sick,” Evan answered for Gregory. His wings fluffed up again.

“Maybe we should check on him then. He’s been resting all week right?” Jeremy asked, trying to be casual about it. Evan had been very guarded about his older brother this whole time.

Jeremy came over every day, and every day, Evan said the same thing. “Mike’s sick. He can’t see anyone right now.”

It had been happening since the day Gregory’s wings had burst through his skin. Jeremy was more than a little concerned. Sure, he hadn’t reacted well to the wings at first, but none of them had. He’d been more supportive when Evan’s had burst through later that same day.

But Michael’s expression became very guarded for the rest of the day, and the next day, he was “sick” and couldn’t see Jeremy. And Evan was very good at shooing Jeremy away when he tried too hard to see him.

“Shouldn’t he eat something?” Jeremy asked.

Evan frowned. “Mikey told me that there’s not much he can stomach right now.”

“Crackers always work,” Jeremy mumbled to himself. Shaking his head, he tried again. “What about water? Maybe he’ll start feeling better with some fluids.”

“I… guess…” Evan seemed less sure. Conflicted, he looked at Gregory and then glanced at the closed door to his cousin’s room.

“I can get it. You keep helping Gregory,” Jeremy said quickly. He didn’t want Evan to change his mind.

Evan relented, nodding slightly. “Okay. Make sure to get him a big glass. And don’t be loud. And-“

“I know how it works when someone’s sick, thank you.” Jeremy set his Coke down and rushed back to the kitchen to grab a glass.

Evan had not been exaggerating. When Jeremy crept into the room with the glass of water, Michael was curled into a tight ball on the bed.

“Mike?” Jeremy whispered into the quiet room.

Michael groaned in response. He rolled over to face Jeremy, exposing the hair plastered to his face with sweat.

“I um.” Jeremy swallowed. He felt a little foolish now. Michael was just literally sick. He wasn’t mad at Jeremy or anything like that. “I brought you some water.”

Michael opened his eyes, feebly reaching for the glass.

“Are you strong enough to hold it on your own?” Jeremy asked.

Michael had to consider that for a moment. Then he shook his head.

“Here-“ Jeremy sat next to Michael on the bed, helping pull him into an upright position so he could drink the water.

Michael leaned heavily against Jeremy, eagerly drinking the water. Jeremy had to brace himself against the wall to support the extra weight. Then abruptly, Michael pulled away.

“J… Jeremy,” Michael whispered weakly. He gripped at Jeremy’s jacket, burying his face in Jeremy’s shirt. “I…”

“It’s okay, Mike-“

Michael seized in Jeremy’s arms, sobbing heavily. His hold got tighter and tighter as his body shuddered with pain. Jeremy tried to set the glass on the bedside table, but he barely had it on the edge and water soaked into the carpet as he pulled Michael the rest of the way into his lap. “I got you,” Jeremy said into Michael’s hair.

“It hurts,” Michael cried, still shaking.

“You’ll get through this,” Jeremy mumbled.

A tearing noise broke through the sound of Michael’s sobs, even as they intensified. “JEREMY!!!” Michael wailed.

“I have you, Mike. It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

Dimly, Jeremy registered the large wings erupting from Michael’s back. Oh. Oh. This was happening now. Bloody feathers spread out, wrapping around Jeremy to return his comforting gesture.

Gradually, Michael’s crying ceased, and Jeremy was left holding an exhausted teenager with bloody wings. “I am sorry,” Michael whispered, pulling his hands back, the wings retracting slightly. “I did not mean to, uh…”

“It’s okay, Michael.” Jeremy tried to smile at him. He was determined not to squirm in discomfort from all the blood currently soaking into his jacket.

“I… should go shower,” Michael said awkwardly.

“Yeah…” Jeremy wriggled uncomfortably in his jacket.

“Sorry,” Michael said. “I can wash that if you want.”

“It’s not the biggest deal,” Jeremy said.

“It is if you go home wearing a jacket covered in blood,” Michael replied. “It’s only fair that I clean it, since that’s my blood.”

That wasn’t how Jeremy saw it, but he figured he wasn’t getting out of this. “Okay.”

Michael shifted carefully, putting his feet on the carpet. Almost instantly after taking his weight off the bed, he completely lost his balance. His wings flew out, trying to redistribute the weight, but Jeremy didn’t realize that as he caught Michael by the waist. Both of them tumbled off the bed, Jeremy hitting the carpet with a soft ‘oomph.’

“I am sorry. This was not my intent,” Michael said from above Jeremy.

“They take some getting used to, huh?” Jeremy replied, trying to ignore the heat rising to his face.

It hadn’t been much on the bed with Michael clinging to him like a lifeline. But on the floor with Michael on top of him, pinning him to the ground, Jeremy was suddenly aware of how close Michael was to him.

Michael smiled ruefully. “I don’t think I’m strong enough to walk on my own right now. I don’t know how I’m going to wash all this blood off by myself.”

“Maybe your uncle could help?”

“He’s probably back at the library again,” Michael mused as he crawled off Jeremy.

Evan wouldn’t be able to handle it, Jeremy knew that much. And he couldn’t ask for Gregory’s help without alerting Evan to the amount of blood that coated them both.

“Do you want me to help?” Jeremy asked, feeling the heat more intensely in his face. Please say no. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle it.

“Really?” Michael chewed his lip, considering it. “I would not want to be a bother… But if you are offering…”

Jeremy’s heart quickened at the prospect. “R-right.”

“Help me up?” Michael asked.

Jeremy pulled Michael to his feet, unprepared for the wings to wrap around him again. “Um.”

“Sorry. I don’t have much control over them yet,” Michael replied sheepishly.

“Do they want me to carry you?” Jeremy gauged the idea of carrying Michael to the bathroom. It wasn’t the worst idea he’d ever come up with.

“It’d probably be less awkward than walking there like this,” Michael agreed.

“So I’m just going to…” Jeremy twisted around in the space the wings allowed him. Michael hissed out a pained breath, but soon he was behind Jeremy. “How well can you jump?”

Pretty well, apparently. Jeremy barely needed to adjust for the weight of Michael on his own back, hands linked beneath Michael’s knees. “Okay. Let’s get you taken care of.”

“I am not a child, Jer,” Michael said wearily. Still, he pressed the side of his face into Jeremy’s hair. “I am sorry to be such a burden.”

“You’re not a burden, Mike. You’re my friend. I’m absolutely willing to help you out when you’re in need.”

“Mmmmm,” Michael sounded almost mournful. But he didn’t argue.

“Okay,” Jeremy said. “So, I’m thinking they might need a decent soaking, right? Birds like to be fully submerged when they clean their wings right?”

Michael blinked at him from where he sat on the toilet lid. “What are you even saying?”

“The blood.”

“It is not dried yet. Not completely anyway.”

“So what? You were planning to just wing this whole thing, weren’t you?” Jeremy shrugged off his jacket.

Michael snorted. “I was planning to shower, Jeremy. But I guess I was planning to wing it, considering how I have wings now.” His wings stretched as he spoke, emphasizing his point. “I just don’t have the strength to stand there long enough to wash them off.”

“I-“ Jeremy sputtered. Clearing his throat, he tried to skip over the accidental pun he’d made. “Just going to let the water do the work?”

“That’s the goal.” Michael frowned. “There’s just a few problems.”

“Such as?”

“My shirt isn’t going to come off the same way it went on this morning.”

“Are you particularly attached to that shirt?” Jeremy asked.

“Not really. Could try to just-“ Michael pulled at the collar of his shirt.

“I’ll go grab a pair of scissors,” Jeremy said as Michael pulled experimentally at his shirt again.

He had to be careful walking by the couch, noticing Evan curled up for a nap. Gregory was nowhere in sight.

Returning with the scissors, Jeremy nearly dropped them upon seeing Michael. “What happened? I was gone for two minutes!”

Michael’s shirt was hanging off his body in shreds. When Jeremy looked closer, he could see sharp claws on Michael’s hands. “I…” Michael shrugged sheepishly. “I thought I could tear the fabric and take it off myself.”

Jeremy’s mouth twitched, but he didn’t let himself laugh. “Okay. I don’t think you did a very good job of it though.”

“It seems as though I failed…”

“Here, let me just…” Jeremy carefully reached around Michael’s head, one knee resting between his legs. It felt strange to be cutting through Michael’s shirt, but as the fabric gave way, Michael seemed to relax a little more.

Jeremy recalled Gregory and Evan both sitting on the couch as Michael measured the shape they needed cut from their shirts for the wings. Perhaps Michael needed a few of those done as well. Something to keep in mind for later.

“Hey, why is there blood all over-“ Gregory’s eyes widened as he peered into the bathroom.

Michael straightened quickly. Jeremy pulled back, hiding the scissors. “Hello.” Michael waved awkwardly, his wings stiff and very clearly exposed.

“You… you have them too?” Gregory’s voice seemed so small.

“Yes, it appears as though we will match.”

Gregory swallowed harshly. “I can help. I know how to get blood stains out of fabric.”

“I would really appreciate it. Thank you, Superstar.” Michael beamed at Gregory, who flushed a deep red.

“It’s no big deal…”

“Not to you,” Jeremy said softly. “But it helps more than you realize. Thank you.”

Gregory opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. He scratched his neck as his wings fluffed up, finally saying, “I’ll be quick. It probably won’t be good if Evan finds out.”

“It would be best if he did not know how messy the process is,” Michael agreed.

Gregory nodded, smoothing his hair down before hurrying out of the room.

Michael wadded the scraps of his shirt into a ball and tossed it to the floor. “Now that that’s sorted…”

Jeremy determinedly kept his eyes from wandering as he helped Michael stand. His friend leaned heavily against him for support as he attempted to undo his pants.

Jeremy belatedly realized that the only way this whole thing would work was if the shower ran over both of them. I’m going to be drenched, he thought sorrowfully as Michael muttered to himself in frustration.

“You could probably just sit while I wash the blood off,” Jeremy said when Michael finally stood there in his boxers. “Since it would be less exhausting for you.”

Michael blinked. “I suppose you are correct. I should have thought this through more.”

“It’s no big deal, man. You’re probably dealing with blood loss or whatever.”

“Still…”

“Hey, it’s fine. You spend all this time taking care of everybody. Maybe it’s time someone took care of you, right?”

Michael chewed his lip. “I suppose.”

“Okay. We’ll get you cleaned up in no time, Mike.” Jeremy said, smiling supportively. Michael tentatively smiled back.

As it turned out, it was a lot harder to clean up Michael than Jeremy initially thought. He kept twitching away, hissing out noises of pain at Jeremy’s touch.

Michael clenched his fists in his lap. “Okay. Clearly this is not the proper solution.”

“I can’t do this when it’s clearly hurting you, Mike. I just…” Jeremy leaned forward to rest his head against the back of Michael’s.

“This is nothing. I have endured much worse before.”

“That’s not as reassuring as you think it is.”

“Jeremy.” Michael said calmly, wringing water out of the washcloth. “I am sure it has become clear to you that things are not how they should be. The wings are only one part of it.”

“Yeah? What I’m hearing is that your father is abusive.” Jeremy wearily took the washcloth back, dabbing it gently against the space between Michael’s wings. At least like that it didn’t seem to hurt him.

“Well, not in the way you would think. Actually, I was thinking more of the comparison between growing limbs and losing organs. I think losing organs is still a more painful experience than this.”

“So you want me to just ignore your pain?” Jeremy asked, trying to decipher Michael’s meaning.

“I am saying I can handle it. I can be a man about this.”

No one is doubting that, Jeremy thought grimly to himself. “Maybe I can’t.” He tentatively rubbed at a clump of blood in the inner edge of Michael’s wing.

Immediately, it swung at him, throwing him against the sink. Pain flared throughout Jeremy’s entire body as he hit the floor. Faintly he registered that his face was bleeding.

“Jeremy?” Michael asked, twisting around. “Are you alright?”

“Nnnnngh,” Jeremy groaned. “I don’t think I broke anything.”

“I am so sorry. It appears that the wings are more sensitive than I thought.”

“No kidding.” Jeremy pressed his fingers to his cheek. He was lucky. The clawed joint of Michael’s wing had hit him just below the eye. Any higher, and he might’ve lost it completely. “Now what?”

“I suppose I should just sit under the water and hope for the best.”

“I think Gregory and Evan mentioned messages working out the soreness. Maybe I could at the very least-“

“I think we should avoid that for now,” Michael replied, his voice sounding stiff. “You have already been hurt once today.”

“Michael.” Jeremy tried to make his voice sound stern. “I knew the risks when I offered to help. So let me help.”

“Fine. Just do not do anything that will put you in danger again.”

“Don’t lie about how much it hurts next time,” Jeremy shot back. “Still gotta get all that blood out of your wings, you know.”

Michael clenched his jaw, but he only stared down into his hands. He couldn’t face Jeremy with the nasty cut on his face any longer.

Jeremy was lighter after that. He knew that even pressing a little too hard would make the wings spaz, and over the course of the next few hours, he succeeded with minimal interruptions.

Gregory popped in near the end to check on the progress. “Henry’s back. Do you want me to tell him about this?” He gestured at the entirety of the bathroom.

“I believe he should be informed. Please ensure that my brother does not come to investigate before we are done here.”

“And maybe grab him a dry set of clothes while you’re at it,” Jeremy said. As an afterthought, he looked at himself. “Maybe grab me something too, if you would.”

Gregory rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. How much does it hurt?”

“I suspect that I should be in more pain than I am,” Michael said, considering the question. “But Jeremy has done an excellent job of making sure the process is less than agonizing.”

“Uh, okay?” Gregory shot Jeremy a look.

“I can’t hardly touch him without the wings reacting,” Jeremy explained. “Nearly lost an eye the first time I did that.”

“So it’s bad.”

“It’s bad,” Jeremy agreed.

Gregory shot Michael a look loaded with concern, but he gave Jeremy a thumbs up. “I’ll ask Henry if he can get you guys some dry clothes. Maybe I’ll just imply that something else is going on in here if Evan asks.” He wiggled his eyebrows in a way that made Jeremy’s face burn.

“Gregory-“

But Gregory had already ducked out of the room, laughing quietly to himself. Jeremy sighed, preparing himself for the inevitable glares he’d get from Evan.

Michael sighed softly once Jeremy finally went to smooth out the wings. “That feels really nice.”

“Glad to hear it,” Jeremy said softly. “I think we got all the blood out.”

“Is it time to turn the water off then?” Michael asked, his eyes closing.

“I’d say so.” Thank goodness, Jeremy thought as he turned the dials back and pressed the tab down. “Now you need to dry off a bit.”

“Mmmmm….” Michael hummed to himself as Jeremy stepped into the tub with a towel and started rubbing Michael’s head with it.

Michael’s eyes fluttered open, and he smiled at Jeremy. “You really do like taking care of me, don’t you?”

Jeremy huffed out a sigh. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, would I?”

“I thought you just stuck around to steal our Coca Cola.”

“That too. But I do enjoy your company, Mike.”

The smile broke into a full grin as Michael tugged the towel out of Jeremy’s hands. “That is wonderful news, Jeremy.”

Did he really not know? Jeremy wondered.

Before he had a chance to answer, Henry peered into the bathroom, assessing the pool of water on the floor. He raised a tired eyebrow as he observed the two boys in the bathtub. “I wasn’t inclined to believe Gregory before, but seeing it for myself…”

Jeremy’s face ignited with heat. “I was just helping clean blood from his wings. Nothing else happened, I swear.”

“I was referring to the fact that Michael grew wings. What did you think I meant?” Henry’s eyebrows scrunched, and Michael gave Jeremy a funny look.

“I thought Gregory might’ve said something else,” Jeremy replied, shaking his head. “Forget it.”

“Are you alright, Jeremy? You look a bit feverish…” A frown tugged at the corner of Michael’s mouth.

“I’m going to go grab some more towels. And you two will be wanting a dry set of clothes, won’t you?”

“Yeah.” Jeremy nodded quickly.

Henry hummed at them before walking back out of the room.

“I am grateful for both you and Gregory,” Michael said, using the towel to dry the rest of his body. He slowly rose to his feet, finally able to stand on his own.

Jeremy determinedly did not stare. Instead, he wrung water from his hair.

“I would offer you the towel, but I believe it is too wet to be any real help. Seeing as your clothes are also drenched, the best course of action is to wait for Henry to return.”

Jeremy smiled weakly. “Yeah, that’s true.”

Michael stepped out of the tub, hanging the towel back on the rack after he went. Jeremy could admit that the wings looked pretty good on Mike. He’d been weary of it when he’d first seen the wings on Gregory, and he knew that Gregory was defensive about it now. But maybe seeing him help Michael would help.

“Do you need a bandage for your face?” Michael asked, making eye contact with Jeremy through the mirror above the sink.

“Oh, I uh.” Jeremy blinked at him. “It doesn’t… It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” Michael’s mouth twitched. “I understand that me being like this must be unpleasant for you, but that does not mean you do not need assistance with that cut.”

Being like this? Was Michael phrasing things like that on purpose? Was he talking about the fact that he was in his boxers or the fact that he had wings? Jeremy crossed his arms before remembering that his shirt was soaked. He uncrossed them and simply said, “There is no problem. I just don’t need a Band-Aid.”

Michael walked back over, and Jeremy tried to take a step back before remembering he was standing in a bathtub. Trapped, Jeremy stood stiffly as Michael ran a thumb over his scratch. Don’t flinch, he told himself, but it still stung. The cut was pretty deep.

“You likely do need a bandage, despite your claim otherwise,” Michael replied. “I can help, if you need assistance.”

Michael gently wiped blood from Jeremy’s face and went in search of medical supplies. It stung when he cleaned the wound, but Jeremy found himself too fascinated by Michael’s cautious care to really notice. The tiniest furrow in Michael’s eyebrows appeared when he put the bandage on Jeremy’s face, and his hands lingered on Jeremy’s jaw for just a moment too long.

He almost seemed sad when he stepped back from Jeremy. “All better. See?” Michael smiled so quickly Jeremy wondered if he’d imagined the pain in Michael’s eyes.

“Y… yeah. Um. Thanks.” Jeremy touched the bandage, surprised by how big it was. “I didn’t realize the scratch was that big.”

“I still feel terrible for doing that to you. Is there any way I can make it up to you?” Michael asked.

Unable to come up with anything to say other than a request for Michael to kiss him, Jeremy shook his head and turned his attention to Michael’s wings. “Do they still hurt?”

“Not as much as they did,” Michael flexed them experimentally. Jeremy smiled faintly, recalling that Gregory was having immense difficulty controlling his own wings. Perhaps the size made it easier.

Michael made a face. “It appears that moving them still hurts, however.”

“Evan mentioned something about messaging the muscles earlier. He was doing it for Gregory.”

Michael brightened. “I suppose I shall have to ask for Evan’s help with that endeavor then. Thank you for the reminder.”

I could do it for you, Jeremy thought desperately. He didn’t want to just have to leave after everything. This was the most time he’d spent with Michael before, and the guy was just so chill about everything. But being in the same space as him, watching him interact with his brother and Gregory made him want to stay so much longer. Michael Afton was the most compassionate person Jeremy had ever met, and he wanted to be able to help the man who tried so hard to help everyone else.

It didn’t help that Jeremy was also hopelessly in love with him.

As Jeremy opened his mouth to speak, Henry returned with the changes of clothes. Michael turned his attention away from Jeremy to thank Henry and apologize for the water all over the floor, and Jeremy was left to awkwardly collect the pile of bloody clothes on the floor to offer them to Henry.

Henry stared at the rags for a moment, his face paling significantly. “These were Michael’s clothes?”

“Yes.” Michael was separating the clothes to split between himself and Jeremy, and he was hardly focused on Henry. “I could not find a way to safely remove my shirt without causing more pain, so Jeremy helped me cut it off. I am afraid blood does not come out of denim very easily, so my jeans are also a lost cause.”

Brightening, Michael put a bundle of clothing into Jeremy’s arms. “You can change in Charlie’s old room.”

“Why can’t you both change in here?” Henry asked, sounding confused.

Pressure built in Jeremy’s throat as he tried to answer that question. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of himself. Not by any measure at all. He just knew it was dangerous, what he was. People didn’t exactly approve of people like him, after all. Especially not here.

Michael gave Henry a scathing look as tears built up behind Jeremy’s eyes. “Maybe we don’t want to change in the same room.”

Henry blinked in surprise, but he glanced between the two boys for a moment before making his exit. Michael patted Jeremy’s shoulder. “I can go to Charlie’s room instead, if you would prefer to change in here.”

Jeremy still couldn’t speak, so he just nodded. The gentle way Michael nodded back at him filled his body with a strange warmth. A few moments later, Michael was gone, and Jeremy could finally change out of the sopping wet layers he’d been in this whole time.

Half-way through changing, Jeremy noticed that most of the clothes were baggy and easy to layer over each other. There were almost too many options. A jolt ran through him when he considered that Michael had sorted through the clothes. Either Michael was very particular, or he knew.

Hurriedly, Jeremy finished changing and practically ran to the bedroom where Michael said he’d be changing. He basically flung the door open to a startled Mike, who had jeans on but no shirt. “Is something wrong?” Michael asked.

His wings and hair fluffed up, like he’d been expecting a threat, but his expression was one of concern. Jeremy knew he was shaking, knew he wouldn’t be able to speak for a moment, but he stood there and just stared. Why did Michael have to be adorable in everything he did? The way his mouth curled into a frown made half of his mouth seem to vanish, like he was biting on it constantly distracted Jeremy from what he wanted to say.

He let his eyes wander over Michael’s bare torso as he tried to find the words to speak. The worst of his secrets was surely out already, and if Michael figured out his feelings, it would be less painful than him knowing the other secret.

Fascination over the jagged scar across Michael’s chest sprouted in his heart. Jeremy had seen it before, of course. He’d seen it in the bathroom, but he’d been trying not to stare before.

“Jeremy?” Michael looked worried now. “Are you alright?”

Maybe Michael didn’t know. Maybe he just hadn’t grabbed a shirt at all, since they had to be cut specifically for the wings anyway. Jeremy was probably just overreacting. And even if he wasn’t, it seemed that Michael wasn’t going to bring it up. “Uhmm. I just… wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Michael relaxed. “I’m quite alright, Jeremy. I’m not as weak as I was before. The shower certainly helped.”

“You’re um. You’re very fluffy right now.”

“Am I?” Michael ran a hand through his hair, feeling where it stuck up all over the place. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Jeremy cleared his throat awkwardly. “Thanks for talking to Henry back there.”

“It was nothing.” Michael blinked at him, wings twitching. “Gregory did a good job cleaning up.” He gestured at the carpet and the bed.

The bed was made very neatly, corners tucked so much better than Jeremy could do on a good day. There were only faint hints that someone had been bleeding there, and they were only visible because Jeremy was looking for them. “Yeah. He certainly did.”

A fond smile crossed Michael’s face at that. “He’s so sweet.”

Jeremy didn’t really believe that, but he nodded anyway. He didn’t want Michael to stop smiling for anything. It was so much better than his frown in every possible way.

“We should… I um. I think we should probably head back to the living room,” Jeremy said awkwardly.

“Right, yes. I suppose it is almost time for you to head home too.” Michael blinked, like he was shaking himself out of a daydream. “Or maybe you could stay for supper?”

Jeremy smiled. “I would love that.”

Evan was awestruck when he saw his brother’s wings. “They’re so big!”

“Soft too,” Jeremy said, trying to encourage Evan’s excitement.

Gregory made a noise in the back of his throat before saying, “You would know, wouldn’t you?”

Jeremy stared at him, mouth opening and closing without words coming out.

“No softer than yours, I’m sure,” Michael said, trying to keep the peace. There wasn’t even a hint of a blush on his face at Gregory’s words. Were the jokes just going over his head? Maybe Jeremy was reading too much into it.

Shaking his head, Jeremy plopped down on the couch beside Gregory. “What happened to your face?” Gregory asked quietly.

“I wasn’t careful enough,” Jeremy answered, glancing at the two brothers as they talked about Michael’s new wings. “And Mike’s wings pack quite the punch.”

“Oh.” Gregory’s eyes widened with understanding. “That could’ve been bad.”

“You’re telling me, kid.” Jeremy shook his head, taking a sip from his can of Coke. “What were you and Evan up to today?”

“Videogames mostly,” Gregory replied. “Although everything here is so old.”

“Old?” Jeremy wrinkled his nose. “Nah, my parents are worse. You’re probably just picky. A bunch of this stuff is newer than anything my family could afford.”

“Your motorcycle is cool though.”

Jeremy smiled. “It is pretty cool.”

“Can you take me on it sometime?”

The smile faltered slightly. “Uh, I don’t know.”

“C’mon, please? All the stuff here is pretty boring, and I know Evan tries to be fun, but you can only play the same game for so long before it’s lame. And I don’t want to have to tell him it’s lame. It’s awful when he cries.”

Jeremy didn’t know what to make of that. “Maybe we could play a board game or something.”

“I wanna go on your bike sometime.” Gregory stuck out his chin stubbornly. “Or I’m going to tell Mike you have the biggest crush on him and-“

“Okay, okay! I get it. But you’ll have to wear a helmet,” Jeremy said, looking away and tugging at his shirt. “And long pants. Just in case.”

“Okay, Dad.” Gregory rolled his eyes.

“Well, you’re the one who said it’s awful when Evan cries,” Jeremy shot back. “And I’ve already seen how Mike cries, and I don’t want to see that again. No thanks.”

Gregory flinched at that. “I…”

“Not to frighten you, but it can be dangerous.” Jeremy sighed. “There’s only so much you can be safe. Not to quote my mom, but ‘I’d rather you be late than dead.’ It’s just that kind of thing.”

Seeing Gregory’s expression, he softened. “I’m a firm believer in the fact that both of us are going to get lectured by Michael when he finds out. So, when he tries, we’re going to tell him that I already told you all the risks and you still wanted to do it. Unless I’ve changed your mind.”

“No, haven’t changed my mind.” Gregory scooted closer to Jeremy. “I bet I’d survive a crash better than you.”

“No way,” Jeremy laughed. “With the way you’re built? No offense, but you’d be a splatter on the cement.”

“Rude.” Gregory scoffed. Not subtly at all, he tried to steal Jeremy’s Coke from his hand.

Amused, Jeremy let him. Gregory immediately started downing what was left in the can. At that moment, Michael glanced over and gasped. “Gregory! Is that Coke? Are you encouraging this, Jeremy?”

“He took the can out of my hand. I didn’t do anything,” Jeremy smiled cheekily. “Not my fault he’s so fast.”

“Mmmmm,” Gregory squinted skeptically at the can. “This is Coke?”

“Yeah?” Jeremy looked confused. “Why? Does it taste weird to you or something?”

“It’s better than I remember.”

Michael sighed, removing the can from Gregory’s hands. “That is because Coca-Cola has different flavoring in it than you remember.”

“Are you talking about the whole cocaine in Coke thing? Because I thought that was a myth.”

Michael shot Jeremy an exasperated look. “That is not what I am talking about. Anyway, Gregory does not need caffeine in his system at this time of day. He won’t get any sleep at this rate.”

“Whoops?” Jeremy held his hands up in surrender. “Look I-“

“It does not matter.” Michael shot Gregory a meaningful look. “So long as he doesn’t keep Evan up with his extra energy, it should be fine.”

Evan peered at them all from behind the sofa. “How did he even take it from you? I thought you kept a tight grip on those at all times.”

“Caught me by surprise?” Jeremy shifted his weight as Michael gave him a skeptical look. “He’s faster than he looks, I swear.”

Evan snorted, climbing over the back of the sofa, much to Michael’s despair as he said, “Well, that gives him a one-up in physical games I guess.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? I totally crush at Fazblock!” Gregory crossed his arms. “I had more blocks than you did.”

“Gregory, you’re supposed to get rid of the blocks, not keep them on the screen.” Evan shook his head despairingly. “I would’ve explained the rules if you’d asked-“

“It was different than what I’m used to, okay?” Gregory rolled his eyes. “I could totally beat you at Fazzy Kart.”

“I don’t even know what that is,” Evan replied. “I still think you made it up.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

“Did too!”

“Okay, that is enough.” Michael shook his head, smiling faintly. “Gregory did not make it up. Fazzy Kart just has not come out yet.” He ruffled Evan’s hair before walking away with the empty Coke can. “And I have something for you two to do when I get back!”

“A task?” Gregory asked.

“A task.” Evan snorted. “Ah yes, my brother typically assigns me tasks. No, Gregory. He’s sending us to do chores or something. Usually he’s more mean about it though.”

“No one understands my jokes.” Gregory’s wing twitched irritably.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jeremy replied. “He still laughed, even if he didn’t get it. Be nonsensical! Nobody cares as long as you’re funny.”

“That’s a terrible line of logic. I refuse to believe that people willingly follow your example,” Michael said, returning with a sheet of paper. “Evan, Gregory, I am trusting you two to find everything on this list and bring it back here.”

“We don’t have money,” Gregory said, but he still took the list from Michael’s hands. “And aren’t we supposed to stay inside until we figure out what to do about our wings? And wait, is it safe to-“

“You worry too much, Gregory. We can just ask Uncle Henry for help.” Evan peered at the grocery list. “What are you making, Mikey? This looks like spaghetti sauce, but you don’t use half this stuff normally.”

“Wait and see,” Michael said cryptically. His own wings twitched as he spoke, even seeming a tiny bit ruffled.

“With the overabundance of clothes Henry seems to have, maybe he has jackets you can just throw on over the wings or something,” Jeremy said, slowly rising from the couch as Gregory and Evan stood to examine the list closer.

“We can handle this,” Evan said with full confidence. “And we’ll try to be fast so you can get started sooner.”

“Thank you, Evan.” There was a deeper tone of relief in Michael’s voice at that. “My heroes.”

Jeremy smiled wearily at them all. “I should probably get going.” It felt like intruding to stay this long. Sure, they all tried to include him, but Michael probably had other things he planned to do while Evan and Gregory were gone. Perhaps he needed to talk to his uncle more or something. Regardless, Jeremy had overstayed his welcome.

“I thought you said you could stay for supper.” Michael sounded wounded. “Are you feeling alright? Do you need to lie down?”

He pressed his hand against Jeremy’s forehead. “You don’t seem to have a fever.”

“I’m fine, Michael. I just don’t want to overstay my welcome, you know?” Jeremy ducked away from Michael’s hand and kept his gaze on the carpet. “Especially if you’re all going to be busy.”

“I won’t be busy until they get back,” Michael replied as Gregory tugged on Evan’s shirt to lead him away. “And even then, I won’t be too busy to talk. You can sit with me in the kitchen while I cook.”

“Yeah but…” Jeremy hesitated, combing a hand through his hair. “Look, I just don’t want to be in the way.”

“You won’t be,” Michael insisted. He sat down on the sofa where Gregory had been sitting before. Patting the cushion next to him, he waited for Jeremy to sit back down.

When Jeremy sat down, Michael gestured for him to scoot closer. “What are you doing?” Jeremy asked nervously.

“Your hair is a mess,” Michael replied. “I’m going to fix it for you.”

“What do you mean?” Jeremy frowned, patting his hair self-consciously.

“It’s all tangled. That’s going to be a nightmare to brush out tomorrow if you don’t take care of it tonight.”

“Oh.” Jeremy looked away. “It shouldn’t be your responsibility-“

“My wings shouldn’t have been yours,” Michael countered. “Let me do a nice thing for you. Please.”

“I helped with your wings because I wanted to spend time with you. Not because it was a burden, Mike.”

“This isn’t a burden to me either. Let me help. Maybe I want to spend more time with you too.”

Jeremy didn’t have a counter to that, so he reluctantly sighed. “Just… be gentle on it, okay?”

“Of course.” He blinked, seemingly surprised that Jeremy gave in so easily. “I do need to go grab a brush and a comb.”

“Naturally.” Jeremy shifted uncomfortably on the sofa as Michael got up.

What was he even supposed to say to Michael? He hadn’t expected to get this far, and now faced with the opportunity to have a casual conversation with him, Jeremy panicked.

When Michael got back, the hair brush he carried had long strands of dark brown hair in it, and both the brush and the comb were shining with water. “I hope you don’t mind,” Michael said awkwardly. “But I know that hair gets really, really tangled, so I just wanted to make sure I could get the tangles out without hurting you.”

Oh. That was… surprisingly considerate. “And the water is supposed to fix tangles?”

“Better than a dry brush.”

Jeremy just stared. The most he’d been able to do with his hair was to throw it into the world’s worst ponytail when he needed it out of his face. All this talk of the more effective way to brush through his hair without making it hurt stirred something in his chest. There was nothing Michael would do that could possibly hurt more than the way he was currently doing his hair.

Michael sat back down and got to work. It was strange. Jeremy hadn’t had anyone brush his hair in a long time. His mother had been too busy with work to even notice that he needed help with his hair. Or anything really.

“You have really thick hair,” Michael mused softly.

“Yeah. Makes it a real pain sometimes,” Jeremy replied.

Michael was so gentle with it, apologizing softly when the brush scraped his ear or a snag was too rough. Eventually, though, he set the brush aside and started dividing his hair.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping you with your hair,” Michael replied as he started braiding it. “I assume you don’t have a hair brush for yourself, or maybe you just don’t have much time to do your hair every day. But at the very least, braiding it back at night prevents most tangles from getting worse.”

“How do you know so much about this stuff, dude?” Jeremy wondered. “Like, you know more about this than I do.”

“I…” Michael hesitated. “Evan’s not my only sibling. I had a sister. Elizabeth. Her hair was more of a nightmare than this.”

“Oh.” Jeremy fidgeted. He didn’t know what to do with that information.

“And, there!” Michael twisted a ponytail into the end of Jeremy’s hair. “Less problems for later, see?”

“Yeah.” Jeremy touched a hand to the braid, smiling softly. “Thanks, man.”

“It’s nothing.”

“But I say it is something. Come here, Mike.”

Michael’s wings fluffed up ever so slightly, but he did as Jeremy asked, unprepared for the tackle-hug Jeremy gave him. He gasped in alarm as they ended up on the floor, but when he looked up at Jeremy, it was with what Jeremy could only describe as adoration. Then he was suddenly pressed completely up against Michael as his wings wrapped around them both.

Of course, that was also the moment Evan and Gregory came back from their shopping trip with the supplies Michael had asked for. Letting Jeremy up, Michael immediately accepted the groceries from Evan and went straight to the kitchen. Gregory and Evan were left staring at Jeremy, who was sitting with a ridiculous grin on his face.

“Might need some help preparing this!” Michael called.

Before any of them could move toward the door, however, Henry walked by to go help Michael. Which left Jeremy to get teased by the two younger boys.

“What was that about?” Evan asked, picking a long blue feather out of Jeremy’s hair.

“What were you doing on the floor?” Gregory asked.

“Mike did my hair,” Jeremy replied, gesturing at the hairbrush that now had long strands of gold intertwined with the brown.

Evan looked thoughtful as he fiddled with the feather. “I didn’t know Mikey knew how to do hair.”

“Didn’t you tell me you had a sister?” Gregory asked, picking a smaller, brown feather from Jeremy’s shirt. “He could’ve done her hair once or twice.”

“Maybe…” Evan didn’t sound very sure. “Mikey wasn’t… I don’t know. Maybe he did. I never knew, though.”

“He did mention it when I asked…” Jeremy said, suddenly embarrassed to know more than Evan.

Evan fiddled with the feather more. “He seems to like you a lot.”

“Mike?” Jeremy asked, even more embarrassed now.

“Yeah. He smiles when he talks to you.”

“Except that one day,” Gregory interrupted. “He came inside and cried.”

“That was something else, I think,” Evan responded. “I think the Nightmares finally got to him.”

“So I take it Mike doesn’t usually talk about his issues then?”

“Not usually.” Evan squirmed, his wings puffing up. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Yeah sure,” Jeremy shook his head and finally got off the floor. “Do you want to try playing Kings in the Corner again?”

“Ugh, that’s so boring,” Gregory replied, but Evan was already rushing off to get the cards.

“I need a second. I’ll be right back,” Jeremy said, slipping into the kitchen to grab another can of Coke.

Michael glanced over from where he was cutting an onion and just sighed. “Jeremy-“

“I know, I know. It’s bad for me or whatever. But I need it, okay?” Jeremy took a long swig from the can. “Better than some habits.”

“Still…”

“It’s fine dude. Cut your onion or whatever.”

Henry said something that Jeremy didn’t catch as he rushed back to the living room. “Okay, are we ready to start?”

“This game is stupid,” Gregory grumbled. He was holding his seven cards, and Evan had already laid out the board.

“I dealt, so Gregory goes first,” Evan replied, ignoring Gregory’s comment.

“Lucky,” Jeremy said, eyeing the board.

“I don’t even know how to play,” Gregory complained. “This game is for old people.”

“I guess we’re old then.” Jeremy’s eyes twinkled. “You have to play a card from your hand onto one of those four cards.” He pointed at the two of diamonds, the king of spades, the four of diamonds, and the seven of diamonds respectively. “You want it to be a lower rank, or less points than the card on the stack. And it’s gotta be the opposite color.”

“Oh.” Gregory stared at his hand for a moment.

“You gotta tell him about the kings, Jeremy.” Evan shook his head. “If there’s a king, you can move it into the spaces between the four other cards, and put a new foundation card down.”

“Huh.” Gregory frowned. “This is too confusing.”

“It really isn’t,” Jeremy laughed, taking another sip from his Coke. “If you really want, you can add your cards back to the foundation pile and watch me and Evan play a game.”

“I’m just going to do that.” Gregory stuck his cards back in the bigger stack.

“Suits don’t matter,” Evan said helpfully. “Only color does.”

Jeremy set off to move the king, and the game begun. Evan went out on his first turn.

“Okay, that was a bad example,” Evan said with a grin.

“You didn’t shuffle very well,” Jeremy said accusingly.  “That was- arghhh. We’re playing another game so Gregory can actually see how the game works.”

“Are we doing points?” Evan said innocently.

“We will once Gregory joins in,” Jeremy replied, collecting the cards from the board. “These are warm-up rounds.”

“Riiiiight,” Gregory replied with an amused snort. “You just got destroyed.”

“Thank you for the obvious and accurate commentary, Gregory.” Jeremy rolled his eyes.

When he flipped the four cards over, three of them were kings. Jeremy let out an indignant noise as Gregory burst out laughing and Evan grinned at the board. Just like that, he was down to one card. Jeremy scowled at his own cards as it became his turn.

“All four kings on the board in the first turn,” he grumbled.

“Now who’s bad at shuffling?” Evan replied, watching Jeremy’s hand drop to three cards.

“Oh, shut up.”

Evan snickered as it became his turn. “I almost wonder if you were trying to let me win.” He took the ace of diamonds and placed it on the two of clubs that Jeremy had missed during his turn. “Do you have the hang of it yet, Gregory? We may need a third player or this are going to be some very quick games.”

“Ha ha.” Jeremy said as Evan gathered up the cards again. “I’m just used to people who aren’t paying attention nearly as much as you do.”

“I’m just playing the game,” Evan said with a cheeky grin. “You had a six of spades in your hand? You could’ve played that on the seven-“

“I don’t want to hear it!” Jeremy sighed, exaggerating his grief as he drank from his can. “You have eyes like a hawk.”

Evan just hummed at that, his eyes twinkling as he shuffled the cards again. “What do you say, Gregory? Want to try and give it another shot?”

“Sure. Can’t be any worse than Jeremy, right?”

“Alright, I get it.” Jeremy shook his head. “I guess this game isn’t as awful as you want to claim it is, huh?”

“We’ll see.”

Evan pulled out a baggy filled with little red chips and shook it for a moment. “I didn’t have a chance to grab paper, so we can just play with chips, right?”

“Let’s give Gregory one trial run first,” Jeremy said as Gregory stared blankly at the chip bag. “Let him get a feel for the game.”

Gregory’s first round went okay. He managed to play half his cards in the first go, but he failed to notice that he could’ve moved the king to the corner right away, and Jeremy took advantage of that. Humming to himself, Jeremy quickly went through his turn and waited for Evan.

“That is absurd,” Gregory said, watching Evan put down cards and move piles around rapidly. “There’s no way you’re not cheating.”

“It’s all natural, Gregory,” Evan said cheerfully. “You’re just mad because I’m better at games than you are.”

“Grrrrrr….” Gregory scowled as Evan tapped his own card against the table. He put down his one card and waited for Jeremy to go.

Adding another person really did slow down the game a lot, Jeremy thought to himself. This was the first round someone had actually had to draw a card. Evan hummed, but he also needed to draw a card. Unlike Jeremy, however, Evan couldn’t play his. Finally, the game was even again.

Gregory scowled at his cards. “What do I do if I can’t play?”

“Draw,” Jeremy said. “We’ve both done it.”

Grumbling, Gregory drew a card. He brightened as he realized he could play it, and then it was Jeremy’s turn. Jeremy sighed in relief as he was able to play a card on Gregory’s queen, and then move a ten on top of that. Moment of truth, he thought to himself as Evan studied his hand. Michael’s brother shook his head and drew another card. And promptly played it.

Gregory and Jeremy both groaned at that. “See, but now things get interesting,” Evan said cheerfully. “We’ve all been drawing cards and actually have to pay attention to the board.”

“Don’t you always have to pay attention to the board?” Gregory asked as he drew another card. “Ugh.”

“Depends on how close,” Jeremy said smugly, laying down his one card. “I win this round.”

Evan sighed wearily, but he said nothing as Jeremy collected the cards to shove them at Gregory. “Your turn to shuffle.”

Gregory pushed the cards back at Jeremy. “I don’t know how.”

“I guess I can do it for you. But you’re still dealing, alright? Seven cards to each of us.”

Gregory nodded as Jeremy shuffled, and Evan quickly explained how chips worked. Everyone put one chip in at the beginning. Then, when you drew a card, you’d put another chip in. Each card at the end of the game still in your hand was another chip, except for kings. Kings were ten chips.

They all put one chip in the middle as Gregory passed out cards.

“Ready for your first real round, Gregory?” Jeremy asked, looking over his cards.

Gregory huffed, but he nodded anyway. “This is still dumb.”

“What if we made it a bit more fun?” Evan asked. “I’ll put in this feather.” He held up the blue feather he’d picked out of Jeremy’s hair.

“We’re playing for feathers?” Gregory asked. “But we both have feathers.”

“Not just any feathers. Michael’s feathers. I know him better than you do, trust me. He wouldn’t just give those away.”

Gregory considered it for a moment as Jeremy bit his lip. It seemed plenty easy to get feathers in his opinion. Michael shed two of them while Jeremy hugged him before. “Deal. I’ll put in this one.”

Gregory set the brown feather on top of the three chips. Evan did the same with the blue feather. Both of them glanced at Jeremy expectantly.

“I don’t have any. You both took those from me in the first place.” Jeremy rolled his eyes. The feathers were cool, though.

He kind of wished he had some of his own, maybe to braid through his hair or something. But that required winning this game. And since Evan was really good at Kings in the Corner, and also used all the chips in the box, it was really unlikely that he’d win them at the end.

“How about…” Jeremy put twenty more chips in the pot. “I know it doesn’t balance out at all, but you two seem to really want those feathers.”

Evan grinned, and so, the game began.

Gregory surprised them all by nearly going out in his first turn, but Evan still won the first game. They played in relative silence, too busy concentrating to hold a proper conversation. Evan crushed them in the first few rounds, but Gregory eventually got a win when Evan had 6 cards in his hand, resulting in a somewhat decent counter-balance.

It did nothing for Jeremy though. He looked nervously at his dwindling pile of chips every time the game ended and knew it was very unlikely that he’d win. It wasn’t impossible, sure, but it was incredibly unlikely.

“This is eight, Gregory,” Evan said absently, after Jeremy had already played his first turn. “We can play it, but you should pay better attention.”

Jeremy bit his lip at that. He was losing really bad. He really needed a win, and he needed one where the other two were struggling. Accidentally starting a round on eight cards was not a great way to start that.

“How did you even notice that?” Gregory asked.

“Eight feels thicker than seven.”

“How much do you play cards? Jeez,” Jeremy asked as it became Gregory’s turn.

“Enough,” Evan said with an amused smile. “I usually play alone.”

“This doesn’t feel like a game you can play alone,” Gregory muttered.

“You can. It’s just not as fun. But I don’t play this,” Evan said as Jeremy had to draw yet again. “I play Solitare.”

“Right, silly me.” Gregory shook his head. “Dude, how are you losing the game you suggested?”

“It takes a lot of luck, Gregory.” Jeremy sighed, having emptied his can of Coke long ago. “I’ve already accepted my fate. Now it’s just a matter of wondering who wins overall.”

They all fell quiet again as they settled back into their concentration. A few tense rounds went by as they all drew cards. When Evan finally played a card, Jeremy breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he’d last another round.

Or… maybe not. It was a close thing, that balance between drawing and playing. “Are we going to go through the whole deck?” Gregory eventually wondered.

“Maybe,” Jeremy replied wearily.

The pot was massive at this point. Evan’s brow was continuously furrowed, and even his wings were stiff with concentration. There’s no strategy that trumps the good cards being at the bottom of the deck, Jeremy thought to himself with grim amusement.

“Ha!” Gregory shouted his delight as he finally laid his last card.

Jeremy sighed sorrowfully as he glanced at his four chips. He would only have two left for another game after this. If only it had been Jeremy who’d drawn the card to end the game.

“I don’t even remember who shuffled that one,” Jeremy said as Gregory gathered the pot.

“It was Gregory. He started us with eight cards,” Evan replied. “You shuffle next.”

“I’m not going to make it through this game,” Jeremy muttered.

“Then we’ll just play it out, and you can be done after,” Evan shrugged. “Who knows, maybe you’ll win?”

“For every draw you have that you can’t play, I’ll put in a chip,” Gregory offered as Jeremy put his last chip in the pot. “It’ll keep things fair.”

“I’m sure,” Jeremy muttered.

“Awww, you are a grumpy old man. Evan look! He’s so grumpy.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

Evan put his last card down, and Jeremy shook his head. “I’m out. Good luck, Gregory.”

He wondered what Michael and Henry were up to in the kitchen. It had been two hours of this, after all. Surely preparing a meal wouldn’t take that long, especially since Evan implied Michael was making spaghetti.

“Okay, I gotta know. What spaghetti takes three hours to make?” Jeremy said, sitting down at the kitchen table with Henry.

“It’s not the spaghetti that takes so long,” Michael replied from the stove. “It’s the sauce.”

“But why?”

“The flavor has to soak in from the leaves.” Michael shrugged, moving to sit down with them. “What were you playing in there?”

“Cards.” Jeremy shrugged. “Gregory said it was for old people.”

“Then he must have never played cards before,” Henry commented.

“Maybe it’s his age,” Michael suggested.

“Nah. Your brother got really into it. He’s been beating both of us.”

“THAT’S SO STUPID!!!” Gregory shouted from the other room.

Evan laughed and said something in response, as they all glanced toward the hallway.

“No way,” Gregory said, his voice still projecting from the other room. “That’s so stupid!”

“I think the sauce is about done,” Michael said, rising from his seat again. “I should probably begin on the actual spaghetti.”

“I appreciate you deciding to cook for us, Michael,” Henry said. “And not that I’m complaining about your food, but this seems more complicated than some of the other stuff you’ve made.”

Michael just blinked at him, filling a pot with water. “It’s just spaghetti.”

Gregory and Evan walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. “It smells great in here,” Evan said.

Michael glanced at his brother and at Gregory for a moment. “Who won?”

“Evan,” Gregory grumbled crossing his arms. “But he cheats.”

“I do not! Withholding cards on my turn is within the rules of the game. Just because it means you have to draw more doesn’t mean it’s cheating!” Evan argued.

“He’s right, Gregory. If he’s withholding cards, it’s still a risk to him since you can easily draw a card at any moment and win the game yourself. There’s a reason it’s ten chips if you’re holding a king at the end of the game.”

“Hmph,” Gregory scowled.

“Jeremy, do you need a new bandage for your face?” Henry asked as Gregory and Evan glared at each other from across the table.

“What? Oh, I’m sure it’s fine.” Jeremy hadn’t realized that the edge of his bandage was peeling off.

“We’ll get that taken care of later,” Henry said. “Were you planning on staying over tonight?”

“I…” Jeremy glanced around the room. “I don’t know.”

“If you decide to stay, let me know so I can tell your parents,” Henry replied, seemingly satisfied. “And would you like another can of Coca-Cola?”

“Yes please.”

“Don’t encourage his addiction, Henry.” Michael crossed his arms as he leaned against the counter.

Jeremy responded by sticking his tongue out at Michael. Michael shook his head and rolled his eyes, but Jeremy saw a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Can I have one too?” Gregory asked.

“Absolutely not,” Michael replied. His wings twitched slightly. “You’re done with caffeine for the rest of the night. If you’re this loud after half a can, I shudder to think of what would happen if you got a full can of Coke.”

“You’re not my mom,” Gregory grumbled.

Jeremy’s mouth twitched. “He tries to act like it though, doesn’t he?”

Michael made an indignant noise as Gregory burst out laughing. Evan giggled too, adding, “Mama bird Mike.”

All three of them broke into bad laughing fits at that one. Henry and Michael just exchanged an exasperated look as Michael stirred the spaghetti. “I can act like it if you really want me to,” Michael eventually said. “But I don’t think you’d like the response, seeing as you two are baby birds in this analogy.”

“What do you mean?” Gregory asked, bewildered.

“I think what he’s getting at,” Jeremy said, amusement glinting in his eye, “is that mother birds regurgitate food into their chicks mouths.”

“Ewwwww,” Gregory gagged.

Evan snorted. “Mikey wouldn’t do that.”

“Wouldn’t I?” Michael raised an eyebrow. “I’ve certainly done worse.”

Evan froze at that. He seemed to be considering Michael’s point. “He totally would…” Evan sounded horrified.

“And with that terrible mental image, it seems that the spaghetti is done!” Henry said, putting a can of Coke in front of Jeremy before going to fetch everyone plates.

“I just need to strain the noodles, and we’re all set,” Michael said. “Could you grab the strainer please?”

Henry nodded and retrieved the strainer. Evan hummed to himself as he fiddled with the two feathers he’d won in the card game. Gregory said nothing, but Jeremy could tell it he was still bitter from his loss. Surely Michael wouldn’t be unwilling to give up feathers if they asked, Jeremy thought to himself. Maybe he’d be uncomfortable with the idea, but if Gregory said how much he really wanted them, Jeremy was sure Michael would give in eventually.

“It’s going to be hot.” Michael warned, carrying the pot of spaghetti to the table.

Henry quickly placed a potholder beneath it, and Michael went back to retrieve the sauce for the spaghetti. “Do you want to get cups out, Evan?”

Evan nodded and got up from his spot. “Gregory, you can get the plates.”

The whole group cycled around the kitchen like a little family, and Jeremy felt a little self-conscious about his place in everything, so he went and grabbed forks for everyone. It was the least he could do.

Michael dished out the food, putting just enough sauce on their spaghetti that they could avoid it if they wanted to. All of them were a little skeptical of the meal, but they all trusted that Michael knew what he was doing. Gregory and Evan both seemed startled by the taste, but Henry simply raised an eyebrow as he took a bite. Michael didn’t seem particularly concerned about their reaction, though.

He was too busy observing Jeremy when he tried it.

It was… spicier than he expected. Jeremy glanced at Michael, suddenly suspicious of him. Michael blinked at him, casually taking a bite of his own spaghetti. Jeremy glanced at him again before moving his plate to the saucepan full of spaghetti sauce and adding more to his plate.

Michael’s slow smile made Jeremy feel even more confident about his decision. Somehow, Michael had figured him out yet again, almost without effort. Jeremy stuck another forkful in his mouth and smiled back at him.

“Gregory, slow down. You’re going to make yourself sick,” Evan said.

“It’f, fine.” Gregory swallowed hard.

“Careful you don’t choke,” Henry said warningly.

Gregory set his fork down quietly, his eyes watering. He coughed a little bit, causing Michael to turn to him with concern. “Gregory? Are you alright?”

Gregory fanned himself, and Jeremy immediately figured out what was going on. “Too spicy for you? You barely had any!” He shook his head and poured Gregory a glass of milk. “Drink this. It’ll help.”

Gregory eagerly took the glass, draining it in less than a minute. “Mmmmm.”

The rest of the meal went in relative silence, with Evan and Henry occasionally teasing Gregory for eating too fast and being unable to handle spicy food. Michael seemed oblivious to the main conversation, smiling softly to himself.

Jeremy knew he was staring, but he figured it wouldn’t be the biggest deal. Plenty of people stared at their friends, right? At the way they twisted spaghetti noodles onto their forks and brought their forks to their mouths. At the way their eyes glowed with joy at making something new successfully.

Michael caught his eye, and the smile widened. Jeremy felt himself smiling back easily. He’d already finished his food, and Evan and Gregory had finished half the spaghetti by themselves. There wouldn’t be many leftovers anyway.

Henry was the first to move from the table. He collected plates from everyone to take to the sink. When Michael moved to help, Henry waved him off, insisting that since Michael made the meal, he shouldn’t have to clean it up, with a meaningful look toward Evan and Gregory. He stopped Jeremy when he tried to get up too, insisting that guests shouldn’t need to help.

“But I thought we were guests,” Gregory grumbled when Evan tapped his arm to help him get up.

“Jeremy, that bandage really does need to be changed before you go,” Henry said quietly, gathering the leftovers into different containers.

“I can help him with it,” Michael said.

“Michael, you’ve done enough today. Especially with how you were feeling this morning-“

“I can help,” Michael interjected stubbornly.

Jeremy raised a confused eyebrow at the way Michael’s wings and hair ruffled.

“You need rest,” Henry said in a tone that brokered no argument.

Still, Michael persisted, the feathers now completely refusing to lay flat. Jeremy wondered how this could possibly be something he’d need to be so defensive about. “Hey, maybe Henry’s right. You have done a lot today.”

Michael scowled at that, and he grabbed Jeremy’s arm and practically dragged him out of his chair.

“What- Hey!” Jeremy stumbled into Micheal, expecting him to apologize or something.

“There’s the old Mike,” Evan mumbled quietly.

Michael’s face was right in front of Jeremy’s as he spoke. “I know my limits.”

“Do you?” Gregory challenged. He didn’t seem frightened in the slightest, which was very different from the atmosphere surrounding Michael at that moment. “To me it seems like you keep going until you drop. Maybe you should just get rid of that chip on your shoulder and let someone else handle it for once!”

“Like you did?” Michael snapped, and at that, Gregory actually flinched. “Sometimes, you can’t trust that help will come, Gregory. You should know that better than anyone.”

Gregory’s grip on the plate in his hands tightened. “Yeah, well, I didn’t have a family who took care of me like you do! So just suck it up.” Jeremy heard tears behind those words, and Evan mumbled something gently to him and tried to get him to turn his back on Michael.

That seemed to break something in Michael’s resilience. His wings twitched, and he let go of Jeremy’s shirt. “Right. Sorry.” He sounded just as torn as Gregory. “I…”

Jeremy figured nothing would be helped by Michael sticking around in the kitchen, so he tentatively put a hand to Michael’s shoulder. “Hey, you can help with my bandage. Maybe just tell me how to put it on so I do it right tomorrow morning, yeah?”

“So you aren’t staying then?” Henry asked, looking worriedly between the four boys.

Michael’s ashen expression was not particularly reassuring. “No, I mean. If it’s okay for me to stay, I plan to. I just… Maybe it should be my responsibility to fix that?” Jeremy gestured at the scratch on his face. “Seems like all I’m doing here is making more messes anyway. Might as well try to clean one up myself, right?”

Henry frowned but he said nothing.

Jeremy leaned close to Michael’s ear. “Come on then.”

“I didn’t mean to… I hurt his feelings,” Michael mumbled as he mechanically peeled the rest of the bandage away from Jeremy’s face to wipe at the scratch with a wet cloth.

“Energy was running high. Maybe you are a bit more overwhelmed then you thought? Frayed nerves break way for anger sometimes. Or so I’ve heard.”

“I still shouldn’t have done that.” Michael couldn’t even look Jeremy in the eye. He was too distraught.

“Why did you get so defensive, if you don’t mind me asking? And I’m not just talking about Gregory. You were adamant about helping me with my bandage.”

“I just…” Michael hesitated. “I haven’t had a chance to see you in days, and I wanted to get every moment I could?”

“An afternoon together wasn’t enough?” Jeremy teased, even though he knew exactly how Michael was feeling. “Look, that’s okay, Mike. But you gotta take care of yourself too.”

“Yeah, but-“

“What do you want? I know you think you have to help everybody all the time, but you’ve gotta have desires too, right?”

“Maybe I don’t deserve to have my desires realized,” Michael replied. He still wasn’t looking at Jeremy. “Maybe I’m just a rotten person who doesn’t deserve joy or anything that doesn’t directly benefit anybody else.”

“Michael Afton.” Jeremy said, trying to sound stern. “You are a human being just like everyone else. We all make mistakes. And you sound like you’re trying to atone for yours. I don’t know about you, but someone who tries to learn from their mistakes sounds like someone who deserves to have what they want every now and again.”

Michael completely froze at that. When he met Jeremy’s eyes, he looked utterly shattered. “I…” He swallowed. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“That’s okay, Mike. No one is asking you to do everything-“

“No, you don’t understand.” His voice was hardly a whisper. “I’ve… That scolding… You’ve said that to me before.”

“I have?”

Michael nodded mutely. “It was right before…” His wings stretched their full length as Michael squeezed his eyes shut. “I can’t.”

“What can’t you do, Michael?” Jeremy asked softly.

A pained noise rumbled in Michael’s throat, and he dropped the cloth, yanking Jeremy forward by his shirt. Their mouths crashed together, and all Jeremy could think was finally. His own hands went behind Michael’s shoulders, and he gently guided the wings back into a folded position before stroking them gently.

He didn’t want to stop kissing Michael. It was freeing and exhilarating at the same time. Michael tasted like bubble gum and smelled like clean laundry. He was the weirdest man Jeremy had ever met, but maybe that was what made him so alluring. Or maybe it was something else. Something about all this just seemed so… right.

When Michael broke away, Jeremy tried to follow. Michael looked at him fondly and laughed. “I thought you said I needed to take care of myself.”

“I can’t be that addicting,” Jeremy said impulsively.

Michael snorted. “I need air, Jeremy. We were both going to pass out if we kept that up.”

“Can we do it again?” Jeremy didn’t care about air. He just wanted to be close to Michael, wanted to make him smile, wanted to make him laugh.

Michael laughed again, a brilliant sound, before Jeremy pressed their lips back together. It was completely perfect.

[nikkento-writes]

Babysitter - Part 1

Pairing: dad!Toji x babysitter!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~1.7k

cw: age gap (reader is 21, Toji is in his 30s), language, cheating, smut – PIV sex (doggy style), breeding kink, daddy kink

Summary: You're hired to babysit little Megumi for the summer, but you end up taking care of his father, Toji, as well.

Author’s Notes: This is repost from my old blog! I initially got this as a request and it became my first Toji fic ever, and certainly not my last lol. I'm posting this again because I actually wrote a Part 2, check it out! Thanks for reading! Divider credit to @/fic-dumpster.

You stand in front of a quaint house, checking your watch for the time. It’s been almost ten minutes now since you knocked, no answer. You gave the number from the listing a call, still nothing. Rolling your eyes, you take a seat on the steps leading to the door, waiting.

It’s the summer before you head back to university for your senior year. In an attempt to make some extra cash, you took a job as a babysitter through local ads in the paper. The first two clients were completely normal; this one is already leaving a bad taste in your mouth. 

Fifteen minutes have passed. You try once more, pounding on the door with your fist as loud as you can. Heel turned, ready to leave, it suddenly swings open, revealing a muscular man with black hair, glaring at you. “What the fuck do you want?” 

You step back, startled by his intimidating presence. Stuttering, you answer, “I’m the babysitter.”

He continues to stare at you, eyes following your body up and down, studying it. “Babysitter?”

Before you can explain any further, you hear a car rolling into the driveway. A woman in professional attire steps out quickly. “I’m so sorry I’m late!” She rushes towards you, holding her hand out to shake yours. “We spoke on the phone. I got stuck in traffic, I’m so sorry.”

You smile at her. “It’s okay.”

She faces the man, expression switching from cheery to dreary in an instant. “Toji, where is Megumi?”

He scratches his head. “Huh?”

“Megumi. Our child.”

He sighs. “Right. Uh, I’ll go get him.” 

While he’s gone, the woman pulls you aside, speaking in a hushed voice. “That’s Toji, my husband and Megumi’s father. Unfortunately, he’s a complete deadbeat. That’s why I want to hire you. I started my new job and I need someone to take care of Megumi while I’m gone during the day.”

She swallows hard, blinking to fight off oncoming tears. “I have no one. I’ve been shunned by my family, my husband doesn’t give a shit about ours, and I’m all alone trying to give Megumi a good life. I know this is a lot to ask, but I’m desperate. This is just until I can save enough money to hire a full-time nanny.”

She grips onto your wrist with both her hands, begging for help. Truthfully, it’s a lot to unravel, more drama than you anticipated. But the anguish in her eyes tugs at your heartstrings. Plus, knowing it’s temporary doesn’t make it seem so difficult. How bad can it be? “Okay. I’ll do it.”

Relief washes over her. “Oh thank god. Thank you. Thank you. Let’s go inside and I can give you a tour.” She leads you through the entrance, removing her shoes as you follow her. “Oh, and one more thing.”

“Sure.”

“Toji is home most of the day, but he’s always couped up in his room, doing god knows what. Just leave a meal or two outside his door twice a day. That should be enough.”

“Huh?!” 

She glances at you with a nervous smile on her face. “Yeah. I told you, he’s good for nothing.”

You don’t respond while you maneuver through the house, barely paying attention while she shows you around. It almost sounds like you’ll be babysitting two children…

~~~

The first two weeks of your new job go by smoothly. Megumi is an adorable baby; he’s almost two-years-old with hair as black as his father’s. While he never really smiles, he doesn’t cry either, expression usually stern, unless he needs a diaper change. He’s self-sufficient, always immersed by his own toys until it’s time to eat. Overall, he’s easy. 

Toji, on the other hand, is another story. 

You follow his wife’s instructions, leaving two meals outside his door, breakfast and lunch. And this asshole has the audacity to critique it! The bread wasn’t toasted enough. The eggs were too runny. There wasn’t enough seasoning on the meat. All this criticism while each plate is licked clean, not a crumb to spot. He’s never even uttered a simple thank you. 

But what he lacks in social skills or personality, he makes up for in his physique. In between meals, he works out in the living room lifting weights, doing push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups at the frame of the door. It lasts for over an hour, and by the end of it, he’s shirtless, dripping with sweat. You’ve done everything in your power to avoid staring but it doesn’t prevent your mind from conjuring all types of lewd thoughts about him. You’re ashamed to admit that he is physically attractive, only because everything else about him is utter trash. Still, it doesn’t hurt to look, right?

On the third week, there’s a shift in energy between you two. When he isn’t working out or going out to meet with his sketchy friends, he’s usually couped up in his bedroom, ignoring you and Megumi. This morning, he actually joins you in the kitchen. You stare blankly at him, stunned by his sudden appearance. Megumi is unfazed by his father as he tries to pull your wrist towards him to get a spoonful of mushed up peas. 

When he catches you, Toji glares. “What?”

“Um, nothing. Just surprised to see you here.” You clear your throat, focusing back on the baby. 

He rolls his eyes. “This is my house. I can do whatever I want.”

“Yes, of course. Sir.”

For some reason, this triggers him. He stands up abruptly, stepping to you, leaning his face towards yours. The scar on the corner of his lip twitches when he gives you a wicked grin. “That’s right. I’m in charge here.”

You flinch from him, scared, maybe even slightly aroused. He’s intense, that’s for sure. But part of you finds it exhilarating to be in his presence. 

Megumi whines for more food, to which Toji grabs the utensil from your hands to start feeding him. “Damn kid, he’s hungry all the fucking time.”

You sit up in your seat, regaining your composure. “You shouldn’t curse in front of children.”

He faces you, chuckling. “Curse? Seriously? What are you, five?”

You cross your arms, answering, “I’m twenty-one.”

“Interesting.” There’s that naughty smirk again, as if he’s thinking something obscene in that twisted head of his. And while you should be turned off, you’re not. You squeeze your legs together, pussy throbbing between your thighs. And of course, he notices this. He must, because he leans forward, lips grazing your ear, whispering, “Come by my room whenever Megumi is taking his nap. That’s an order.”

~~~

This is bad. Very, very bad. 

You're supposed to be better than this. Clearly, you aren’t, because you’re currently getting railed by your employer’s husband while his child sleeps peacefully in the next room.

“Fuck, this pussy is tight,” he groans, pumping his thick cock in and out of you. You’re bent over the edge of the bed, his hips smacking against your ass as he thrusts into you. He’s got a tight grip on your hips, nails digging into your flesh, pounding away at your greedy pussy, absolutely drenched with arousal and lube. Your face is sticky with perspiration, pillow soaked with sweat and drool. It’s a fucking mess, but it doesn’t matter, because all you can think about is Toji fucking you until you’re seeing stars. Until your head is empty and nothing but his fat cock is occupying your thoughts.

“God, you’re squeezing me so fucking hard, princess. You gonna come again?”

You nod erratically, reaching your fingers to your clit. He smacks it away, doing it himself, his thumb flicking against your swollen bud. “Fucking come on my cock then. Make it nice and creamy for me, got it?”

His cock is buried deep inside you, hitting your sweet spot over and over until you unravel, gushing around him once more. You’ve lost count on how many orgasms you’ve had in this short amount of time. 

After your climax, he doesn’t pull out, fucking you even rougher. Your body is pliant around him, yielding to his every touch like putty. You’ve lost control of yourself, completely enraptured in the intense pleasure he surrounds you with. 

He leans forward, chest pressed to your back, lips brushed to your ear. “I’m gonna knock you up. Give Megumi a little brother or sister. Would you like that?” He’s crazy. Completely unhinged. Absolutely fucking psycho. 

“Fuck yes, I want that,” you moan. “Give it to me, daddy. Breed me.” 

And apparently, so are you. 

“Oh fuck yeah, take my fucking cum then,” he growls. The bed creaks violently below you, his backshots brutal and frantic now, cock desperate for release. “I’m gonna get you fucking pregnant. Make you mine.”

He shoots his hot load inside you, stuffing you full of his cum. He doesn’t stop until he’s fucked it deeper into your pussy, watching with that sexy look on his face as his creamy cum leaks out of your slit.

Lifting you up to lay comfortably on the bed, he rolls beside you, kissing you sloppily until Megumi’s whimpers blare through the baby monitor, indicating that he’s awake. Toji laughs, smacking your ass as you crawl over him to return to your real job. 

~~~

You spend the remainder of your summer employed at the Fushiguro household until you have to go back to school. You and Toji continue to fuck each other silly every day that you’re working. 

The day before you leave for college, you say your goodbyes to the family. Megumi’s mom, who remains blissfully unaware of your sins, hugs you tightly. “Thank you so much for all your help. I’ve finally saved enough money to afford a full-time nanny, so we’ll be fine.” 

“It was my pleasure. I had a lot of fun. With Megumi,” you clarify, avoiding Toji’s gaze as he watches from the kitchen. 

“Seriously. You’re a good person. I hope you know that.” She smiles, truly grateful. “And thank you for taking care of my good for nothing husband too.”

As the guilt of this dirty, filthy secret eats away at you, Toji stares at you from across the room, smirking. 

[sttoru]

‘no matter how much time the king of curses spends with you, he doesn’t think he will ever understand you or your affectionate behaviour towards him.’

☀︎｜tags. true form sukuna x female reader. heian era sukuna. fluff. bits of mentions of blood & murder. big size difference. cold-big-monster-having-a-small-soft-spot-for-a-single-human trope. reader gets called ‘little one, brat’. not proof read! let me know if you like my characterisation or not; it’s my first sukuna fic.

a kiss on the cheek is one of the most innocent - yet apparently also the most difficult - things to do. it’s a small form of intimacy; not that hard to do. it’s really as simple as planting your lips on your beloved’s cheek. then all you do is retreat — maybe get a kiss on the cheek back from him. or on the lips.

“get moving. i’m not waiting all day for you.” sukuna grumbles. you had suddenly stopped in your tracks and the king of curses was confused as to what the reason might have been. the two of you had been walking through the courtyard for a few minutes now — well, you basically had to drag him out to take a little stroll together.

and now the same you was quiet. it bothered sukuna; you were always so chatty around him when it was just the two of you. he might have called you an ‘annoying brat’ for it, but he secretly enjoyed your company and voice.

“c-coming.” you reply in a quiet mumble, eyes glancing over at the monstrous frame that stood a few steps away. his dull yet sharp gaze was focused on you — like he was sizing you up. or rather: trying to figure out what’s wrong with the change in behaviour you showed.

sukuna watches you as you hurry over to his side again. he resumes walking, hands folded over each other under the material of his kimono.

though, he couldn’t yet let go of the fact that you were acting different around him. the king of curses’ suspicion only grew once he noticed how your fingers fiddled with your obi. you were anxious about something.

sukuna shakes his head slightly. some humans sure are difficult to understand, he thinks to himself. your happy yet reserved personality when you usually interacted with him had disappeared and made place for a nervous wreck. trying to figure out why made sukuna’s head hurt.

were you finally scared of him? like all other humans and curses were?

he doesn’t know why, but it felt like he would hate for such thing to happen. sukuna usually wouldn’t care if someone resents, fears or somehow even admires him. only you could make him think and care about such difficult and maybe even trivial things.

“uhm,” you break off his train of thoughts and his eyes are instantly on yours again, “may i do something really quickly?”

sukuna’s face doesn’t show any change in expression, but a small nod tells you everything you need to know. you clear your throat, “can you please lower your head towards me?”

lowering his head? oh, you got some guts. if anyone else had said that to him, sukuna would have obliterated them; there wouldn’t have been anything but red bloody dust left of their body.

but then again: it’s you. all exceptions the king of curses makes are for you.

sukuna slightly lowers his head to your level so you could do whatever you needed to. he’d be lying if he said that his curiosity wasn’t piqued. it always was when he was around you.

you gulp. it was time to do what you’ve longed to do ever since the beginning of your stroll: give the ryomen sukuna a kiss on the cheek. you don’t think he’d be mad—at least he never seriously gets mad at you. only to get a reaction out of you since your responses are always ‘intensely amusing’—as he says.

“go on.” sukuna’s breath hits your cheeks. he was so close—too close that it made you even more nervous in a way. as if you hadn’t even had your first kiss yet.

you swallow your fears and just go for it. your lips attach to his cheek in the fraction of a second—the speed of light—before they leave. it was right under his right set of eyes.

you take a step back and clear your throat. you try to escape the embarrassment of sukuna’s possible reaction by continuing your stroll, though were stopped by a strong hand firmly grabbing your forearm.

“where’d you think you’re going?”

sukuna’s deep voice echoes through your ears. you were surprised to hear the tone of it; almost soft. a tone sukuna uses on rare occasions: in your presence.

you turn your head around and smile sheepishly at the king of curses before you. he doesn’t return the same (not that you expected him to), however he does unexpectedly ruffle your hair for a split second. or at least he attempts to.

his large and warm palm lands on top of your head and he gives it a little and subtle shake. sukuna had seen you do a similar action to someone else before, thus he concluded that he could do it to you. maybe as a form of endearment or. . whatever you used it as.

he did find the way you tried to scurry away after giving him a kiss very adorable. even if he wouldn’t say so out loud.

“now, come along. we don’t have all day.” sukuna nonchalantly mutters after retracting his hand. it left as fast as it came, though you were still stunned at the slight show of affection the king of curses returned.

you instantly catch up to sukuna again—walking next to him as fast as your legs could take you. you were a bit more at ease after you got a positive reaction to your little kiss. it was a pity that he didn’t smirk or laugh at you—maybe mocked you like he usually would. but that head pat made up for it.

even if it did leave your hair a little disheveled.

you couldn’t properly see sukuna’s face, but the faint smirk tugging at his lips was undeniably there. even if it was for just a split second.

“how very interesting.” sukuna mutters under his breath so you wouldn’t catch on. he sighs and shakes his head, unable to keep out that memory of you looking so cute—standing on the tip of your toes to plant a kiss on his cheek with your comically small hand on his jaw line. he doesn’t know why he found that to be so thrilling.

you flutter your eyelashes. you were curious about what he might have commented on, “may i ask what you had just said? i didn’t quite hear it.”

a short second of silence hangs before sukuna tilts his head to the right to look down at you again; his face expressionless, but still having a hint of a grin on his lips.

“i said you better hurry before i gobble you up right this instant.” he replies, (playfully) intimidating you with his sharp red eyes that glinted with a form of danger.

you shiver (though knew the threat was an empty one) and instantly pick up your pace. you even get ahead of him, walking as fast as your legs could. you answer with a curt ‘my apologies’ and walk like you actually have somewhere to be.

sukuna’s grin only grows as he sees you get ahead of him. if you had turned around, maybe you could have caught onto that light flicker of affection in his expression.

“i’m coming for you, little one.” sukuna adds just to ignite some more fear into you and you react as expected, “you’re not escaping me today.”

it was a funny sight; your reactions always make him enjoy his time with you even more than he already (secretly) was.

the way his body reacts in mysterious ways when you’re around, is still very much an unsolved riddle to the king of curses. and the reasons as to why you aren’t scared of him and can easily give him all your ‘love’ are also still yet to be discovered.

until then, sukuna will continue to enjoy teasing you.

[gloomwitchwrites]

141 with a fem!reader who instead of not wanting kids can’t have kids?

This is a popular request, anon. I've had several submissions from various users. Since the theme/idea is similar, I thought I would combine them into one.

Heavy angst ahead, folks. I decided not to sugarcoat with this one. It's heartbreaking. It's sad. And yes, there is comfort and love mixed in.

For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE

Task Force 141 x Female Reader

Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): established relationship, angst, infertility, pregnancy, miscarriage, mention of surgical procedure, emotional hurt/comfort, implied abortion/d&c, minor blood

Word Count: 900

ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist

John Price

This time, it sticks.

Somehow.

Miraculously.

After years of struggling, of being told it would never happen, of false results and shattered hopes—it’s happening.

You’d be in denial if it wasn’t for the test results in your hand. It is solid, a print out of what your doctor told you over the phone.

John stands next to you, reading the piece of paper over your shoulder. His shoulders are riddled with tension, lips a thin line. It’s clear that he wants to join in on your joy, but something holds him back.

“Are you happy?” you ask, suddenly nervous.

“I am—I.” John clears his throat. “But last time?”

Last time looked just like this. Last time everything was fine—until it wasn’t. Until the blood and the pain and the hospital visit.

“It might not be like last time.”

John gently grasps the sides of your face, thumbs brushing over your cheeks. “You don’t have to. Not for me. Not for anyone.”

“It’s okay, John.”

“Are you sure?”

You nod, and John places his lips to your forehead. “I worry.”

“I know,” you murmur, turning your face into his touch. “But you’re here. And that’s all that matters.”

John "Soap" MacTavish

It all has to go. All of it. There is too much damage.

No uterus. No fallopian tubes. No ovaries.

Gone. All of it. Gone.

Johnny sits next to you on the sofa, his head in his hands. His sigh is heavy as he rubs at his face. When he comes up for air, you know his world is shattered, just likes yours.

“The surgeon said they might be able to save some eggs.” Even you don’t believe the words leaving your mouth. It’s a farce.

“Might?” asks Johnny.

“They won’t know until they’re actually inside.”

Johnny is oddly silent. It’s not like him to be quiet.

“Are you upset?” you ask, tentatively.

“No,” he says sharply. “Not with you. Never with you.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, because an apology feels right but you’re not sure why you’re doing it at all.

Johnny places his hand on your knee, squeezing gently. “For what?”

Tears pool, threatening to spill over. “For not being enough.”

He leans in, face serious. “The fact that you think that at all means I’ve failed you. That I haven’t loved you enough.”

“Johnny.”

He draws you in. “This doesn’t make you less worthy of my love.”

Simon "Ghost" Riley

A heartrate monitor beeps nearby. They’ll release you soon now that you’re awake and aware.

It’s all coming back in pieces.

You remember the cramping, the spotting, and then the bleeding that wouldn’t stop. You remember the cold linoleum floor against your cheek, of losing consciousness, of gaining it again only for the room to spin. You remember how cold you were, and Simon’s hands—of how his voice cracked when he said your name.

You don’t recall the trip to the hospital. You only remember how Simon demanded help while the staff told him he needed to calm down.

But he’s here now—and no one is yelling. He sits in a chair next to your hospital bed, face grim and skin pale like he hasn’t slept in days.

There have almost always been complications—always been issues while trying to conceive, but of those that have ended, it’s never been like this.

You turn your head, and as if sensing you, Simon glances up from his silent musings. You offer your hand. Simon takes it, and though he doesn’t squeeze hard, you feel the desperation in the way he clings to you.

“I’m not risking you. Never again.”

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Your friend opens the gift, presenting it to the gathered crowd. Everyone fawns over the set of baby blankets. There are several in total, all pale pastels.

You smile and agree that it’s a wonderful gift. Outwardly, everything is fine. Internally, your mind is still at home, lingering on the four pregnancy tests hidden in the bathroom bin beneath a pile of toilet paper.

Each one negative. Each one a glaring stain on the long list of failures.

Kyle emerges from the kitchen with the father-to-be, a massive grin on his face. This baby shower is a reminder to you of all your shortcomings. For Kyle, this is hope—a vision of the future.

And you haven’t told him. Haven’t said a word about those four negative tests.

How many years of trying now?

But you’re still young.

Don’t stress about it.

It’s so easy for others to stick their nose in, which is why you don’t share anymore.

Kyle plops down next to you. The happiness there is palpable, so thick it’s almost like butter on the tongue. You’re going to shatter it—hurt him yet again.

He presents his hand, palm upward.

You snatch it like a lifeline, and squeeze—hard. Kyle frowns at your entwined fingers. His gaze sweeps upward.

In your friend’s hands is a onesie for a newborn. Everyone coos, and something in you breaks. You’re smiling, but you sense the threatening tears.

Kyle’s frown shifts to a sad smile.

He knows. You don’t have to say anything.

Lifting your joined hands, Kyle brings the back of your palm to his lips. Placing a quick kiss there, he then kisses your forehead. He adds another kiss to spot just behind your ear.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs. “It’s okay.”

No one is watching.

“I love you.”

taglist:

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[gucciforasushirestaurant]

Like You Mean It | H.S

summary: you're tired of only ever meeting trash men, but your best friend and roommate harry shows you that there are still good guys out there, and what it really means to be a giver.

word count: 5.3k

reading time: 22 min

content warning ⚠️: housemate/bff!harry au, nonfamous!harry, friends to lovers, shitty men (not harry), smut, fluff, fingering, penetration (p in v), very light D/s dynamics (if you squint), softdom!harry, dirty talk, nicknames (baby, babe), very light degradation/humiliation kink (if you squint)

a/n:  i saw a text post that said “girl don’t text that man. make yourself cum and forget about him.”(solid advice lol)  and then this happened. also not to be an astrology girlie but he’s an aquarius with libra placements….this man is the perfect fwb.

“Harry, can I get a man's perspective on something?” you ask, turning to Harry next to you on the couch. You had begged Harry out of his room for a movie night as a ruse, but your nose had been buried deep in your phone the whole night. Re-reading and overanalyzing old text messages between you and the object of your anxiety.

You don’t often go to Harry for help with men, but his advice on other areas of your life is always sound, and you respect his opinion.

“If you’re asking me for help, he’s not worth your time.” He sighs, not looking away from the movie, hugging a pillow to his chest. 

“I’m serious, I need your help.” you whine, tugging on his sleeve. He turns and looks at your dramatic pout, “Please.” 

“Alright, I’ll bite.” He huffs. “What is it?” 

“As a man, do you prefer texting or like a call? Or maybe FaceTime?”  

Harry barks out a laugh at the ridiculous question, before looking over at you, and realizing your dead serious. He chews on his bottom lip for a moment, tossing his head back against the couch. “I mean I’m more of a talker, and I like seeing who I’m talking to, so I prefer FaceTime. But I guess it depends on the girl and how long I’ve been talking to them. What our situation is, and stuff.  Which one of your boy toys are we talking about?” he asks. 

“Cameron.” you grimace.

Cameron is admittedly your least favorite of the boys on your roster, but your most tenured member. And the one Harry hates most. In the beginning you thought it could be something real. He was sweet and did a decent job at wooing you. That is until - in Harry’s eyes - he coerced you into a friends with benefits arrangement. Harry could tell that you liked him, and to see him treat you as terribly as he did, got Harry’s blood boiling. You deserved better, that much you both could understand. What Harry couldn't understand however was why you would even consider speaking to him again after the last time you were in contact.  

Instead of saying what he truly thought, or giving you a hard time, he just pinched the space between his brow with an exasperated sigh. 

“I know, I know,” you grumble.

“How long has it been since you’ve heard from him?” 

“A while. But he reached out recently and - ” 

“I thought you were done with him.” he deadpans, eyes glued to yours. 

“I was, but we got coffee last week and he apologized.” 

“Coffee?” Harry groans in disgust at the low effort. He pauses the movie, and turns to you, “Don’t text him. Don’t call him. Go back in there,” he says pointing down the hallway towards your room. “Make yourself come, and forget about him. For your sake and mine.” 

“Harry!” you laugh, hitting him with a throw pillow.  

“You think I’m joking, but I’m serious.” he concedes with a chuckle, “You don’t even like him.” 

“I like him enough.” 

“He’s a terrible fuck.” 

“He…gets the job done.” you defend voice cracking. 

“Everytime he leaves, there's suddenly a consistent buzz coming from your bedroom.” He scoffs. You go to defend yourself with heat rising to your face. You stammer a bit but not quite getting words out before he continues, “I’m a grown man, I know what a vibrator sounds like.” He smirks, and you giggle covering your face. 

“Jesus.” you laugh, “Look, I’ve tried your way already…and it’s not doing the trick.” you pout, “So tell me, how pathetic would I be  if I were to reach out to him.”

“I don’t think you’d be pathetic, love.” he soothes 

“Then why are you so against me texting him?”  

Because you deserve better! Why can’t you see that? He thinks, These guys don’t deserve you. If I were them I’d - 

“Harry?” you ask, snapping him out of his thoughts. It’s in the glow of the television, and the small light on the side table that Harry is able to admire your adorable pout and curious eyes. He’s always had a little crush on you throughout the entirety of your friendship. One he knew you could feel and was reciprocated. There were a few drunken confessions of your attraction for one another that were joked about the following morning. Then there was the holiday kiss . One New Year for ‘good luck’. But there was also a promise. A pinky promise, to never risk the friendship you had. To keep things platonic.  It was a promise that was becoming more and more difficult for both of you to keep. 

When you two agreed to move in under the same roof for economic reasons, you knew it would be an adjustment, with both of you having been living on your own for years. But you were excited. Living alone could get lonely and overwhelming. So having your best friend of years, under the same roof and splitting responsibilities felt like a huge weight lifted off of your shoulders. 

But being in such close proximity meant that it was becoming harder to keep your promise. Especially when things just felt so domestic with the two of you. Cooking dinner together, movie nights, cuddling together on the couch. It was hard for both of you not to let your minds wander to a reality where you were more than just friends. 

But you were friends, and as long as that boundary was there, there was nothing stopping either of you from being young, wild and free. So there were parties, and one night stands, and situationships. All in an attempt to distract you both from the truth. Because no matter how pretty the girls were that Harry brought home, no matter how sweet and kind they were. The only face he saw when they were splayed out in his bed…was your. 

And after a very awkward Sunday morning breakfast with one of your one night stands meeting Harry, you stopped bringing guys home all together. Opting for spending weekends away. A change Harry didn’t like, and lectured you over. “It’s not safe. You don’t know these guys. At least if you bring them here, I’m here if you need me.” he’d argued. All that did was keep you from seeing anyone for a while.  Which is how you ended up even considering talking to Camreon again. 

“Look” Harry finally says, turning his body towards you, “if you’re that sexually frustrated I’ll… help you out.” 

You tilt your head, letting out a nervous giggle, waiting for his real response. But it never comes, he just…smirks at you. 

“Oh,” you whisper, heart beating against your ribs. “You’re serious.” Harry nods, biting his lip. The offer was…promising, and the way Harry looked at you was intriguing. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t give you butterflies.  That the last month or so things haven’t  felt different between you two, something less than romantic, but certainly more than platonic. It was messing with your head for sure. But you were friends. Regardless of how fit you thought he was, you didn’t have the right to blow up your over decade long friendship just because you were horny. You clear your throat blinking up at him, shaking your head,“Thanks for the offer, Har but -” 

“Yeah no…you’re right. It’s - dumb idea.” He stammers, “I do think you just need to let off some steam, and then you’ll forget about him.” 

“Yeah. I guess.” 

He sees you deflate a bit at his words, and he realizes you didn’t expect  him to give up so easily. So he tries again a little more directly “And not to be that guy but I’ve been told I’m pretty talented, and if making you come keeps you from making a repeated mistake then I’ll take one for the team.” 

“Gee, thanks.” you scoff. 

“I just mean. You’re my friend, and I’m trying to be a helping hand.” he says sweetly before the smirk returns, “And tongue.” He laughs, and you roll your eyes. “And on a serious note, you’re too special of a woman to have to deal with mediocre sex from a guy that clearly - and I’m sorry to say - couldn’t give two shits about your Love. If you need to…get your rocks off, why not with someone you trust? With someone that actually cares about you?” Harry says sweetly. 

“Really?” you ask, and he nods, “And if we cross this line, it won't ruin our friendship.” 

“Cross my heart.” He says drawing an ‘x’ over his chest. 

“What about Taylor?” you ask, thinking of the pretty blonde that you’ve caught making breakfast in your kitchen a few times. You're trying to give him an out. But he doesn’t take it. 

“Out of the picture.” he smiles, “Has been for a while.” He admits, and before you get a chance to offer your condolences, he asks “So what do you say?”  

“Okay.” 

“Alright.” he smirks, “Come here.” He says softly, reaching for your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. You scoot closer to him on the couch, your knees touching his thigh.  Your breath hitches in your throat as his other hand rests on your cheek, stroking the soft skin with his thumb.

He leans in slowly, his breath fanning across your face, his lips inches away from yours. His emerald eyes dart from yours down to your lips, back to your eyes. 

“You’re sure?” he asks. You nod your head slowly, eyes glued to his lips as he speaks. You watch as they curve up into a seductive smirk, “Words, baby. Want to hear you say it.” He coaches. 

He wants to hear you say it because the truth is, he can’t believe this is finally happening. He gets why you both agreed to not cross this boundary for so long. For the sake of your amazing friendship. But being this close to you now, seeing the look in your eye, the want and anticipation. Feeling the way he lit up touching you. It all seemed so silly. Why deny yourselves the pleasure of giving in to such chemistry, when life was so short? 

“I’m sure.” you whisper, “Are you?” 

“Oh, I’m positive.” he purrs, before leaning forward finally bringing his lips to yours. You sigh into the kiss, enjoying the feeling of his soft lips on yours. Immediately, the kiss feels different than anything you’ve shared in the past. What starts off as a soft sweet pecks, familiarizes yourselves with one another, quickly evolves into a hurried frenzy. Tongues swirling, teeth clicking, and with Harry’s hand having come down to rest on your neck, thumb caressing your jugular possessively your head was spinning. You gasp  into the kiss, trying to catch your breath but all you could do was breathe in more of Harry. It’s when he nipped at your bottom lip licking at the skin after, that you have a moment of clarity. Pulling away slowly you, run your hand through the hairs at the nape of his neck making him look up at you. 

“You okay?” he asks, worry etched into his features. 

“If we’re going to do this,” you begin, “ I have one condition.” 

“Okay.” he prompts 

“Want you to fuck me like you mean it.” you whisper, voice shakily. 

“Planned on it, Love.” He smiles, bringing you back into the kiss, lifting you up onto his lap to straddle him. You drape your arms around his shoulders and lean forward bringing your lips back down to his. Any nerves you’d had earlier slip away with each swipe of his tongue into your mouth, and grind off your hips down onto his hardening cock. He moans into your mouth as you grind your hips into his, and you couldn’t help but smirk into the kiss. 

He sounds so pretty, you thought. 

He lets out another groan, as his hands roam up your thighs to your hips, gripping them firmly and pulling you as close to him as he could. He pulls his lips away from yours in favor of kissing down your neck. His lips roam up and down trying to find your favorite spot, and when he does, you let out a lewd moan, pulling at his hair. He groans into your neck and continues sucking and nibbling. He licks a stirp up your neck, dragging your earlobe into his ear sucking at it. Before he pulls away looking at you with a proud grin on his face, watching you. 

“Why’d you stop?” you pout, leaning your forehead against his. 

“I’m not fucking you on the couch.” He chuckles and you giggle. “Your bedroom or mine?” he asks as he untucks your lip from your teeth with his thumb. “Wherever you’d feel most comfortable.” 

You didn’t have to think for more than a moment before answering. “Is it okay if we go to yours?” you ask nervously. If you were going to get the Harry Styles special, you wanted the whole experience. 

“Of course.” he smiles, giving you a quick peck, “Hold onto me.” he instructs and you hook your arms and legs around him as he stands up and makes his way down the short hallway to his bedroom. He leans in and kisses your cheek 

It is a little strange, how natural it all feels. How your lips seemed to slot perfectly with his, how he grabs your ass so dominantly in his hands, how you instinctually nuzzle into his neck, sucking just below his ear like he did for you. It’s as if  this whole thing, your dynamic, was sitting there all along, just waiting to come to the surface. 

He kicks his bedroom door open, kicking it back closed once inside. Breathy swears falling from his lips as you suck on a spot just below his ear. He sets you down on your feet as you pull away from his neck, bringing your lips back to his. Your hands move from around his shoulders to the elastic of his sweats. You pull at the strings keeping the material around his hips. But Harry stops you, pulling away from the kiss, holding your wrists in his hands.

“Hey, hey.” he coos, tilting your head up to look at him. “This is about you. Remember?” 

“Right.” you sigh, “Sorry.” It was a force of habit. Focusing on pleasing your partner, without much thought of your own pleasure. 

“It’s okay.” he smiles softly, “Don’t worry about me. Just let me take care of you.” He lifts your hands to his lips kissing each of the back of your hands,  “Okay?” you nod and he places a quick peck to your lips,  “Get up on the bed, for me.” There was something in his voice, a tone you’ve never heard before nor could you pin down, but it already had your stomach doing somersaults. 

You crawl your way up the bed, laying down amongst the mountain of pillows and it suddenly hits you what you’ve agreed to. Did you have some nerves about the possibility of ruining your longtime friendship? Of course. But the primary feeling was anticipation. You’ve heard Harry take many women to heaven in this very room, in this very bed through the thin walls of your apartment, dozens of times.  And now as you lay in his sheets… It's your turn.

He watches from the foot of the bed as you settle into his bed, admiring the sight of you there. You're quick to remove your shirt, but you keep your bottoms and bra on. You watch as he strips himself of his band t-shirt, and sweats admiring his tattooed littered chest and arms. Your eyes follow the trail of hair from his navel to the growing tent in his boxer briefs. He notices you admiring, watching as his muscles contract as he moves up the bed to you, a smirk plastered to his lip. 

“Eyes up here.” he jokes, and you snort out a chuckle, as he hovers above you with elbows on either side of your head. You bring your arms, sound his shoulders, pulling him down on you, enjoying the weight of him on top of you. 

“Shut up.” you smile, kissing him. You try to lead the kiss, but eventually give in to Harry, allowing him to choose the pace, too distracted and consumed by the feelings of his hands roaming your body. As he teases your mouth open with his tongue, you nibble at his bottom lip wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling him in closer to you. You both moan as the tip of his clothed cock catches onto your clothed pussy. Your pussy throbs at the sensation and you roll your hips up into his, begging for some friction. But Harry holds your hip in the softness of his mattress.  He pulls away, caressing your cheek, running a thumb along your kiss bitten lips. 

“Let me take my time. Want you to enjoy this. I’m going to give you what you need. I promise.” 

You nod, looking up at him through your lashes, “Okay.” you sigh

“Just relax.” he leans down, kissing your lips, “Do you trust me?” 

“Yeah - of course.” 

“Good.” Harry smiles, his dimpled smile, before continuing your kiss, hungrily kissing your lips, down to your neck. Kissing and sucking trying to find your most sensitive spot. When he does,  he nibbles and sucks, groaning into you as he feels you relax in his arms, with each swipe of his tongue on your neck. His hand reaches behind you, fiddling with the hooks of your bra. “Can I take this off?” he rasps. 

“Mhmm, yeah.” you rush out, helping him shimmy your arms out of the annoying barrier.  Before you get the chance to pull him back down to you chest to chest, Harry pauses, looking from your chest to your eyes.

“Fuckin’ gorgeous” he whispers, a hand cupping one of your breasts, pinching the pebbled skin of your nipple. He dips his head down, drawing the other nipple into his mouth sucking on the nub, before releasing it with a pop. You couldn’t help the lewd moan that escaped your lips. It’s needy and breathy and if it were anyone else above you,  you’d maybe be embarrassed with just how desperate you sound. But the way Harry is worshiping you, and moaning into your chest, you knew he was enjoying this just as much.

He works his way up from your breasts back to your neck, sucking and kissing anywhere his lips could reach. You wrap your hands around his shoulders pulling him in, for a deep kiss, until you feel his fingers tangle into the loose strings of your flimsy lounge shorts. 

“What about these?” he asks against your lips. “Can I take ‘em off?” 

“Please.” you gasp into his mouth. Without breaking the kiss the best you could, you lift your hips, as you help him get the shorts down your legs. 

With nothing but the thin material of your underwear between you.  You could really get a feel of Harry now as he grinded his hips into yours. He was thick, and just as hard as you were wet. After a few nudges of his cock against your pussy, Harry snakes a hand between the two of you, rubbing you through the thin cotton of your panties in small circles. 

“Mmhm.” you moan, rolling your hips into his hand. 

“This okay?” he huffs, leaning his forehead on yours. 

“Yeah,” you sigh, pulling him back down to your face for a kiss. “More.” 

Harry smirked at you teasingly, but obliged. Sliding your panties to the side, his thick warm fingers making contact with your clit. 

“Oh, fuck.” you huff. 

Harry usually likes to tease. He tells the girls in his bed to be patient, to be good girls and wait for the inevitable earth shattering pleasure he’s sure to spring on them. But you're not just some girl in his bed. You’re…you. And he’s never not given you whatever it is you wanted. Because as far as Harry is concerned, you deserve the world. And the truth is, even if you didn’t realize it, you have him wrapped around your perfectly manicured finger. 

“That feel okay?” Harry asks, rubbing you in tight circles. He dips his fingers further down your folds, collecting  the wetness at your entrance to wet your clit. He rubs at your pussy,  up and down, until you start bucking against his hand. 

“Mmhm” you nod, “so good.” you whimper. 

It’s beginning to become harder to focus. All you feel is Harry. His fingers, between your legs. His tongue massages yours. His breath fanning across your face, when he rests his forehead on yours. His hardening cock pressing into your thigh.  His weight on top of you. He was completely consuming your senses. 

His fingers dip down, teasing at your entrance drawing out a deep groan from you as your grip on his shoulders tighten. 

“What’s got you so wet? Huh?” he smirks into the kiss, as he teases your entrance. Your cheeks warm to his teasing tone.

“You.” you whine, “Feels so good, Harry.” 

“Yeah?” he smirks, “And this?” He coos, as he slowly, finally, slides a long finger inside. “This feel good, too?” 

“Oh, god.” you whimper, arching your back into the mattress, gripping at his shoulders.

Harry kisses your check, pulling back admiring how sweet you looked as his finger worked you open, pumping in and out of you. 

“Look at me.” he coos, curling his finger inside to that spongy spot inside of you. “Let me see you baby. Look at me.” He repeats, sweetly kissing your cheek. Slowly, and with all the focus you can muster, you peel your eyes open to look at Harry. “Good girl,” Harry praises, “you’re doing so good, Love.” Your breath hitches at his words as you feel your pussy tighten around his fingers.  “You gonna come on my hand? Already?” He smirks. 

His light teasing, mixed with the pet names, only has you barling closer to the edge. You're so, very close and the way you're looking up at Harry all blissed out has him ready to bust in his boxers. 

“Har-” 

He can sense the frustration. See how close you were, but not quite. He needed to see you come for him. 

“What is it baby?” he coos, kissing your cheek. 

“More. Harry,” you whine, “Please, please plea-” you whine, through a pout.

“Shhh….Okay. You can have,” Harry slowly inserts a second finger, while his thumb circled your clit, “anything you want.” 

“Fuc-” Your moan gets cut off with a kiss, as Harry continues to work his fingers in and out of you.

“There you go. Better?” 

“Ye- yes. Oh my god.” you whine. 

Harry continues working his fingers in and out of you, thumb rubbing your clit as you could feel your orgasm barrelling closer. 

“Come on,” Harry encourages, “come on my hand. Come for me.” he pants, through a kiss, fingers curling, maintaining their pace inside of you. 

“Shit!” you moan out, coming apart on his hand. 

“There you go. Good girl.” he praises, kissing you anywhere his lips can reach. You whimper, a shiver shooting through your body as your orgasm shook through you.  “Shhh, I got you. I got you.” he coos, slowing his fingers to a stop.   He withdraws his fingers from your center, eyes remaining on yours as he sucked his fingers clean, moaning around the digits. 

“You taste good.” he smirks, before leaning down, burying himself in your neck, sucking on the spot just below your ear. He pulls away, looking you in the eye admiring your fucked out state. He plants a kiss on each of your cheeks, and then kisses you deeply nipping at your lip. 

“You did so good.” Harry huffs into your mouth. You rake your fingers through his hair, still reeling from your orgasm, trying to use Harry to bring yourself back down to earth. “You’re pretty when you come.” he smiles down at you, kissing your lips, “Do you need a minute?” 

“No.” you mumble kissing his lips, “Just fuck me please.” Harry nods into the kiss, reaching into his nightstand for a condom. He’s quick to get rid of his bottoms and slip on the condom. 

“Harry.” you plead, rolling your hips up into his, as he slid his cock up and down your slit. He taps the head of his cock on your clit twice.

“Shhh, relax. I got you.” He coos stroking your cheek with one hand as he runs his cock more deliberately up and down your slit with the other. Harry kisses the corners of your mouth, and then places a kiss to your lips. He looks at you, eyes aflame with lust. He leans his forehead against yours, his breath fanning across your face, as he slowly pushes inside. You gasp, grab his shoulders, dig your nails into his skin. Harry hisses, tucking his face into your neck as he slowly worked you open with his cock, little by little thrusting in and out until he was fully settled inside. 

“Fuck, babe.” he sighs. He stays still for a moment, deep inside of you relishing in the feeling of your tight  walls wrapped around him. 

“Oh my god.” you gasp as swears fall from Harry’s lips above you. You thread your fingers into his hair, pulling lightly at his curls, drawing out more groans from him. “Move.” you whine, rutting your hips up into his. “Please, Harry.” 

He slowly begins to grind his hips down into yours, pulling back only slightly before driving back in, allowing you to feel every inch of him. “Fuck, you feel so good baby.” He praises. He’s quick to find a decent pace, his arms bracketing your head, forehead leaned against yours as he pounded into you with deep strokes. 

“Har- oh my god.” you moan, your pants of pleasure, fanning across Harry’s face, eyes screwed shut. 

“Look at me.” he rasps, kissing the corner of your mouth, “Please. Need to see you.” He moans. And he does. He needs it. You can hear it in his voice, and feel it in the way he caresses your hip. He must be closer to you. He needed to see you, all of you. 

So you grant his wish, peeling your eyes open and looking at him. And your pussy clenches at the sight of him. You don’t remember why you’d close your eyes in the first place. He was beautiful, like this. All kiss bitten lips, and flushed cheeks, curls glued to his brow and lust filled eyes. You threaded your fingers in his curls, brushing his curls away from his eyes. 

“You feel so good.” you gasp. 

Harry smirks, twirling his hips, “So do you.” You pull at his curls, a loud moan rips from your throat,  as a particularly hard thrusts hits your g-spot. Harry’s eyes flash with a new kind of focus, and lust as he hits it again. 

“‘S that it? ‘S that your spot, babe?” he huffs. You nod frantically, eyes glued to his lust filled ones as he continued pumping into you. “I want you to come for me again. I want to feel you. Please,” he pleads, “Need it.”  

“Oh god!” you cry out. The more he talked the closer you could feel yourself approaching your peak. “Harry -” you 

“Breathe through it, Love.” He instructs, keeping his rhythmic pace. As he grinds his hips down into yours, he demonstrates a breath, taking a deep breath in and out. You follow suit, feeling the heat pool in the bit of your stomach warm, as your orgasm grows closer and closer. 

“Harry - oh my god.” “I know, I know.” He gasps, “Let go, Baby.” And you do. Just like that, you coming around Harry’s cock, tightening around him as he continued to fuck you through your orgasm. “There you go,” he coos, dropping a kiss to your forehead, before tucking himself back into the juncture of your neck and shoulder, “Good girl. Fuck baby.” 

Harry’s thrusts become sloppy as he struggles to hold himself up above you, feeling his own climax quickly approaching. “I’m gonna come baby.” Harry pants. 

“Please.” you whimper, holding his face in his hands. You bring your lips up to his, moaning into the kiss, “I want you to.” 

“Fuck.” He huffs, and with a few more deep strokes, Harry comes apart above you. 

He grinds his hips to a stop, burying himself into your neck, kissing your shoulder, as you run your nails up and down his back, trying to catch your breath. 

You stayed like that for a while, enjoying the weight of him on top of you, and Harry enjoying your hand in his hair. Once he heard your breath slow, he slowly pulled out of you, kissing your forehead, and rolling off of you.

“I’ll be right back.” he smiles.

“Okay.” you whisper with a sweet smile.   

Harry drags his boxer briefs up his legs, looking back at you with a smile before he’s out the door. 

“Shit.” you giggle, looking up at the ceiling. You look over at the clock on his nightstand, and smirk.  Nearly an hour and a half  has passed. I really got the Harry Experience ™ you muse, to yourself. 

Sitting up in bed, you scan the messy bedroom floor to find your clothes. Before you get a chase to put your bra back on, Harry is back with bottles of water, some snacks and a towel. 

“What are you doing?” Harry asks,  He sets down the two bottles of water, snacks on his nightstand.

“Getting dressed.” 

“What for?” he pouts, crawling into his bed, lifting his sheets for you to follow,  “Come back here.” you allow him to pull you back into his side, resting your head on his chest.  

“I don’t want to overextend my stay.” you whisper 

“You’re not.  Let me hold you for a bit. Not done taking care of you.”  

He kisses the crown of your head, and it feels almost too intimate, but still you relax in his arms, letting out a deep breath, allowing the gentle motion of his hand stroking your back to calm you. 

“Can you do me a favor?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Promise me that we’ll still be friends.” 

Harry doesn’t say anything for a moment. A little too long for your liking before he finally speaks. 

“I don’t think I can do that.” Harry says, and there's a slight panic at his words until you look up at him and see he’s smirking down at you. 

“I got you pussy whipped that quick, Styles?” you joke, poking at his side, and he laughs. 

“Maybe.” he smirks, before looking at you earnestly, “Or maybe hearing you moan my name made me realize it’s something I've wanted for a long time.” 

“Oh.” you sigh. 

“Or maybe I’m just selfish, and I don’t like the idea of anyone else seeing you that way. Especially if they aren’t going to treat you right.” 

“And you want to treat me right?” you smile

“I do.” He says firmly, “Give me a chance. Just one date. A real one. Ideally one where we stay clothed, and vertical.” he smirks.  “And if you don’t want to pursue anything, then…I’m happy to stay friends. But I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t try.” 

You look at him, trying to find a hint of dishonesty, but you couldn’t find it. 

“Okay, Styles. One date.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” you smile, snuggling back into his chest. 

Everything between you two has changed. That’s for sure. But maybe it’s for the better.  And maybe this is just the beginning. 

a/n: imagine harry as your fwb *deep sigh*

✨masterlist✨| ✨yap & request box✨

[briefinquiries]

Tyler Owens x Reader: Chase Your Fears

Prompt: You and your younger brother are roadtripping across the US when you encounter a tornado. Luckily, the tornado wrangler himself shows up to help.

Word count: 11k

Warnings: tornado mention

A/N: Had this cute little idea and suddenly it turned into an 11k monster fic... anyway, i will be obsessed with tyler owens & twisters for the foreseeable future, so please send recs if you want!

“What is that?” 

You leaned forward in your seat and peered out the rearview mirror warily. But even with a better view, you still had no idea what you were looking at. 

“Seriously,” your little brother gawked from the front seat, body twisted so that he could turn around and see. “What is that?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted, knuckles turning white as you tightened your grip on the steering wheel. You kept your eyes trained on the dark clouds swirling behind you. Thankfully, all the roads out here in Oklahoma were so long and straight– otherwise, you probably would have crashed your car. 

“Is that a tornado?” 

“No–” you began. But even as the words left your mouth, you realized that you actually had no clue. “Well, maybe–”

As soon as you spoke, both of your phones went off– an alert warning you of severe weather in the area. 

“It’s a tornado,” your brother exhaled, as he read the alert off his lockscreen. “No wonder the roads were so quiet today–  we’re the only idiots dumb enough to be driving through a tornado!”

“We’re not driving through a tornado, technically we’re driving in front of one… Besides, aren’t tornadoes thinner? Like a funnel?” you said, trying desperately to lighten the mood. You thought if you stayed calm, maybe it would keep your brother calm.  

“Don’t fat shame the tornado! What do we do?!”

“I don’t know,” you admitted, mouth growing increasingly dry. 

“We should call Mom–” 

“No, we definitely should not.”

“Why not?” you could hear the panic creeping up in his voice. 

“Because,” you said calmly. “Mom’s in New Hampshire– probably crocheting a blanket as we speak. What is she going to do to help us?”

Your brother opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again like he was realizing you were right. 

“Calling her is only going to make her panic halfway across the country.”

“We should call Dad then–”

“And what’s dad going to do from Texas?” you challenged. 

“Maybe he’ll know what to do– he said they have tornadoes where he lives.”

You frowned. “It’s behind us– we just need to keep driving and keep it behind us.”

“Okay,” your brother said uneasily. When you glanced his way, you saw his hands positioned in his lap, trembling. Instantly, you felt your chest ache. Your parents had the two of you nearly fifteen years apart. And as his big sister, in charge of escorting him across the country so that you could both stay with your dad for the summer, you felt like it was your responsibility to keep him safe. 

“I should’ve just flown,” he whimpered. “What was I thinking, doing a road trip through the midwest during tornado season?”

“Hey,” you said, reaching over to grab one of his hands. You had been the one to suggest the two of you drive to Texas together. A few weeks earlier, you had finally quit the job that had made you miserable for the last two years. It had been a long time coming, but with nothing else lined up, you’d been terrified to officially make the jump. 

You hated being afraid. Maybe it was stubbornness, maybe it was stupidity– but something inside of you was driven to face your fears. If you’re afraid, do it, you always told yourself.  

So that was how you found yourself jobless at nearly twenty-eight. Currently, you were going through a transitional period that your mom liked to call your quarter-life crisis. You’d wanted a distraction– something fun to make you feel adventurous and brave and alive again. Initially, he’d been skeptical of the idea. While the two of you were close, he was cautious about spending the two weeks you’d planned out in a car together. But once you told him about your plans– stopping in New York and detouring to Nashville, he was sold. 

Hearing the fact that he regretted his decision made a pool of guilt spread through your insides. 

“You were thinking about how awesome it was going to be to spend two whole weeks with your sister on a road trip. I promise I’m not going to let anything happen to you– We’re okay.”

He nodded slowly, although the look of terror on his face told you he didn’t entirely believe you. 

“Did you know they call this area Tornado Alley?” he asked, speech rapid. “Cold air from the Rockies meets damp air from the Gulf of Mexico. It’s like… the perfect recipe for tornadoes.”

You sighed. In the past, you probably would have questioned why your New England-raised brother knew anything about tornadoes. But you’d since learned that his brain quite literally never forgot any shred of knowledge. The kid remembered everything. 

“Did you know that thirty percent of the country’s total number of tornadoes is in Tornado Alley? Or at least they have been since the fifties–”

While your fight or flight response was generally more geared towards running, his was fact-spewing. 

You gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, trying not to give away the fact that the tornado in your rearview mirror was seemingly getting closer with every glance you took. 

As you pressed your foot harder against the gas, you smiled towards him. “Tell me more. How do tornadoes form?”

“Well…” he began, and then he started talking rapidly about air pressure and moisture and wind speeds and other things you really didn’t understand. Truthfully, you tuned it out– your only focus on getting the two of you somewhere safe. 

Your method for calming him down worked– at least until the winds increased. Then a giant chunk of debris came flying at your car, forcing you to swerve quickly. 

“What was that?” he yelled, all panic that had previously faded from his voice returned in an instant. 

“I don’t know–”

“Oh my God, it’s closer– it’s right behind us!” 

“I know,” you said, your own voice raising. Your foot was practically touching the floor, but your car wouldn’t go any faster. 

Another piece of debris– this time you recognized it as a piece of a fence, slammed into the side of your car. 

“Shit!” your brother screamed. “Shit!”

“We’re okay–” you tried to assure him. “Listen to me, we’re okay– But I think I need to pull the car over.”

“What?!” he practically screamed. 

“I know– I know it’s scary, but I don’t think you’re supposed to be in a car if a tornado gets too close.”

“How do you know that?!”

You furrowed your brow. “I think I heard it on the Discovery channel or something–”

“Discovery channel?!” 

By now he was frantic, and you knew that you had to stay calm– no matter how panicked you were. But your brother also required plans and he required explanations– so you tried to give them to him. 

“Listen to me, I am going to stop the car, and we are going to get out, leave our stuff and run, okay?” 

“Run where?” 

“Uh,” you stammered. Truthfully, you hadn’t gotten that far yet. You looked around, realizing that your options were incredibly limited. There was an old barn to your left– and while the shelter enticed you, it didn’t look entirely sturdy. Further down there was an actual farm house– maybe they had a storm shelter or a basement. But you had no idea if you’d make it that far. 

Suddenly, an entire goddamn tree flew by your car, taking the side mirror with it. 

“The farmhouse–” you said. The barn would never stand.  

“Can we make it?” your brother asked. 

You nodded. “We’ll make it.” 

With that, you slammed on your breaks, causing your car to come to a sudden stop. 

To your relief, your brother followed your instructions. He launched himself out of the car and hurried around the hood to you. You quickly grabbed his hand before turning to start towards the barn. 

But before you could even move more than a few steps, a pair of headlights seemingly came out of nowhere to your right. A red truck screeched to a halt just as a man, clouded by the fog, stuck his head out and shouted, “Get in!” 

“What?” you screamed over the wind. 

He motioned with his thumb towards his truck. “Get. In!” he emphasized. “Now!”

Before you could hesitate or question anything, instincts kicked in. You shoved your little brother towards the man and his truck. The man had already hopped out and was opening the back door. Once you reached him, he grabbed your brother first. With ease, he lifted him into the truck. 

“Buckle up–” he instructed. “See that harness strap? Put that on–” Next he turned to you, “I got gear in the seat back here, it’ll take too long to move– you’ll have to go up front.”

You nodded before hurrying to the passenger side of his truck. Without hesitating, you hoisted open the door– a task that proved to be increasingly challenging based on the wind speeds. It was like the door was suctioned to the body. You gave it a few good pulls, using all your strength, but it wouldn’t open. 

You glanced at your brother through the back window and saw his eyes grow wide. He screamed your name before banging on the window– reaching for you. 

“It’s okay!” you cried. “I’m okay!” Although you weren’t sure how true that would be a few moments from now. 

“Shit,” you said to yourself, jostling the handle. “Shit, shit, shit–”

“It’s okay,” you heard a voice call. The man had turned the corner of the truck bed and was reaching for the door. With one strong pull, he hoisted it open. “There we go, let’s get ya inside–” 

You reached up, grabbing the handle on the door while stepping up. You felt a hand on your back give you a gentle nudge as you hoisted yourself the rest of the way inside. Once you were positioned in the seat with the door closed, you watched through the windshield as the man jogged lightly around his car with ease and climbed into the driver’s seat. 

“Harness–” the man said, pointing towards the straps behind you before slamming his door shut. 

Quickly, you shrugged them over your shoulders and fastened the buckle. 

“I can’t–” you heard your brother say from behind you. When you turned in your seat, you saw that he still wasn’t buckled– his straps were tangled. 

You moved your hands to your own straps to undo them, but were stopped by the man. “I got him, you stay buckled,” he said before turning to extend his torso into the backseat. “Here we go, buddy,” he said gently. You marveled how, even with a tornado barreling towards you all, the man could remain so gentle and calm. The way he talked to your brother was… well, you couldn't quite find the words for what it was, but you appreciated it. You made a mental note to thank the man for it if you made it out of this alive. 

“I can’t do it–” you could hear the panic in your brother’s voice. 

“It’s okay,” the man said. “I got you. I’m gonna help. Everything’s okay.” 

“The tornado is right there!” he screamed, fear and anguish building in your brother’s throat. 

“Try to stay calm,” you said. “We’re okay–”

“We’re NOT okay!” 

“It looks closer than it is,” the man soothed. “Look at my face– do I look scared? So there’s no need for you to be scared– I got you, see? Harness is done. You’re all strapped in. Nothin’s gonna get ya.”

Swiftly, the man spun back in his seat, did up his own harness in a few seconds, and then pressed a giant, red button on a stick shift near the center console of his truck. You heard a loud sound– like gears shifting, above the whipping winds outside. And then he leaned back in his seat, checking on the storm in the rearview mirror. 

“Are you going to drive?” you asked him, turning to get a look at him for the first time. He had a baseball cap resting backwards on his head and a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He was handsome, you realized. 

The muscles of his forearms flexed as he reached for the wheel. But instead of driving anywhere, he shook his head.  

“What?” you gasped. “It’s coming right for us–”

“I know– we can’t outrun it,” he explained. “So we just have to let it pass. Hang on, we’ll be okay.”

“I thought a vehicle was one of the worst places to be in a tornado–” 

“It is,” he replied simply, only making your panic increase. “But we’ll be alright. Trust me.” 

You were about to argue, but before you knew it, he shouted, “Hang on!” – Just as the cloud funnel consumed you. 

The next seconds or minutes or hours passed in a terrifying blur. With your eyes squeezed shut and hands held over your ears, you still heard everything. You heard winds whipping against the truck, causing it to rock back and forth. You heard your brother scream from the backseat, feeling helpless because there was nothing you could do to help comfort him. You heard the slamming sound of debris– trees, fences, and whatever the hell else as it crashed into you and everything around you. You heard the ringing in your ear– like it was all too much to bear… All the while wondering which blow would be the one to kill you. 

And then suddenly, you heard nothing at all. You remained frozen in place for a moment longer, in case this silence was a fluke. But then slowly, things came back into focus. You lowered your arms and opened your eyes to see the man leaned over in his seat, harness already unbuckled, while he gazed at you. 

Although laced with concern, his eyes were the prettiest shade of green you’d ever seen. He really was handsome– almost shockingly so. And now, he was mouthing something– like he was trying to talk to you. 

Suddenly, his voice came through the fog– soft and gentle. “Are you okay?”  

You nodded slowly without actually knowing if that was the case. You’d know if you weren’t, right? 

“How–” you said suddenly, turning to look outside. There was debris everywhere– tree limbs and branches, leaves and chunks of housing. 

“Nothing hurts? You’re okay?”

You turned back towards him and did a quick body scan– checking in on your body before shaking your head a little more confidently. Then you remembered your brother in the backseat. You turned the best that you could with your harness still on, to glance at him. 

“Are you okay?” you asked him. 

“Yeah,” you heard his shaky voice ring out. You exhaled a breath of relief. 

Careful not to kick you with his boots, the man maneuvered to the backseat with ease. 

“Hey buddy,” you heard him say. “You alright back here?” 

“I’m okay.”

“Good– you did great. Must’ve held on real tight. Can I help ya with the harness now?” 

You started grasping at your own harness. Except, when you moved to adjust the buckles, you realized that your hands were shaking too hard to be of any use. No matter how hard you willed them to steady, they wouldn’t. 

You continued to try until the man hopped out of the truck and came around to your side. He hoisted open the door and placed his hands on top of yours– the sudden warmth sending shock waves through your body, causing your head to shoot up.  

You were met by his intense gaze for a second time, a sea of sage green took your breath away. You swallowed– realizing how dry your mouth suddenly had become. Although the pair of you were complete strangers, the man’s strong jawline flexed as he gazed at you with what looked like worry. 

“We’re okay,” he assured you. “You’re alright. Can I help with the harness?” 

You gave him a quick nod before dropping your shaky hand from it. When he was finished, you stripped off your harness straps and turned to hop out of the truck. As soon as you did, you saw his outstretched hand– offering to help. You swallowed the lump in your throat and took it, not trusting yourself or your unsteady legs. As soon as your feet were back on the ground, you released his hand and turned towards your brother. 

“Are you okay?” you asked for a second time, a sob prickling the back of your throat. As soon as he nodded yes, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, tugging him against you. Even at twelve years old, he was almost taller than you. 

“God, I’m so sorry–” you said. 

“What were you guys doing out here?” the man suddenly asked. He stood with his hip popped slightly, his hands resting on the waistband of his jeans. “They’ve been announcing this storm since this mornin’.” His voice wasn’t accusatory, just generally curious. 

Keeping your arm around your brother’s shoulders, you turned to face him. “We’re not from here,” you explained. “We were just driving through– we didn’t know it was coming.”

He nodded. “They can sneak up on ya sometimes. Where are y’all from?”

“New Hampshire,” you said. 

The man let out a low whistle. “You’re a long way from home.” 

“We were driving my dad’s,” your brother piped in. “He lives in Texas.”

“I should’ve paid more attention to the weather,” you admitted, shaking your head. “It was stupid. But thank you…” your voice trailed off, realizing you didn’t know the man’s name. 

“Tyler,” he replied, extending his hand for a second time, this time for you to shake. 

“Tyler,” you repeated. “Thank you Tyler, for saving us.” You quickly introduced yourself before turning and introducing your brother. 

“Hang on. What were you doing out here if they’d been talking about the storm all morning?” your brother asked bluntly. 

Just as you were about to give him a look that said don’t question strangers who save our lives, Tyler smiled, flashing his white teeth. “I was chasin’ her,” he said, nodding towards the tornado still spinning in the distance. 

“You chase tornadoes?” your brother exclaimed. 

Tyler’s grin got wider. “Sure do. That’s why my truck didn’t blow away. I got extra precautions.” Then, like he could see the eagerness in your brother’s face, he smirked. “Wanna see?” 

Your brother nodded before breaking away from your embrace and racing back towards the truck– like he’d already forgotten about the tornado that almost killed you both. 

“That alright with you?” Tyler asked. 

You nodded, head still foggy and body still trembling. “Yeah,” you said. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, eyeing your shaky hands. 

“Oh– yeah,” you said. “Just nerves… We don’t get many tornadoes up in New Hampshire, and we sure as hell don’t chase them.”

“You did good,” Tyler told you. “You stayed calm– kept him calm.”

“Thanks,” you said shyly, feeling stupid that this stranger’s compliment actually meant something to you. Then, you motioned with your thumb over your shoulder. “I’m gonna go check out my car– see how bad it is.”

With that, you left your brother with Tyler, and turned the corner of the hood of his truck, tracing your steps back to where you’d initially abandoned your car. As soon as you entered the clearing, you wished you hadn’t. There, amongst the piles of debris and chaos, was your SUV laying on its side– the front windshield completely smashed, both airbags deployed, and the doors caved in. 

“Shit,” you muttered, unable to help the tears forming in your eyes. You were grateful for your brother’s safety, but you knew you couldn’t drive your car like this– 

You took a few steadying breaths, reminding yourself that completely falling apart wasn’t going to be helpful. And, despite the part of you trying to avoid this, you knew that you’d have to call your parents.

You turned back towards Tyler’s truck and saw him and your brother laying on the ground– looking at something underneath the bed. That’s when you noticed two, gigantic-looking screws secured into the ground. That must have been the button Tyler pushed right before the tornado had engulfed you. 

Your brother looked content for the time being, so you pulled out your phone and dialed your mom first. 

She answered after only a couple of rings. 

“Hi honey, how are things going?”

“Hi Mom,” you said, voice already shaking. “Don’t panic okay? We’re both alright–”

“What happened?” she said urgently, clearly doing the opposite of what you’d requested. 

You sighed– might as well just come right out and say it. “We’re in Oklahoma, and a tornado just hit– like literally hit us.”

“What?” she gasped. You could already imagine her sitting up from her recliner, tossing her ball of yarn or whatever she was using to the side. 

“Yeah– Some guy came and helped us. We were able to wait it out…” you paused, like you still couldn’t entirely believe what had just happened to you. “But I can’t drive my car.”

“Oh my God,” she breathed. “Are you sure you’re alright? Where’s your brother?”

“We’re fine, Mom. The guy who helped us is still here– he’s showing him stuff in his truck to keep him busy.”

“Who is this guy?”

“Just some local– we got lucky, he knew exactly what to do.”

You heard her exhale a sharp breath. 

“Mom, I don’t know what to do– We’re stranded here.”

“Oh, honey,” she sighed. “I should have never let you take him in a car. You should have just flown. Gosh, you both could’ve been killed.”

The pool of guilt grew larger inside your chest. 

“I know–” you said, feeling defeated. Because she was right– what the hell were you thinking?

After a moment of silence, she sighed. “I’m so glad you’re alright. Why don’t you call your father– see how far he is? Maybe he can come and pick you up. If he can’t, call me back and we’ll figure something out..”

“Okay,” you said, voice thick with the tears you were trying not to shed. 

“I love you,” she assured you. 

“Love you, too. I’ll talk to you later.”

With that, you hung up the phone, just as a few tears splashed down your cheeks. 

After wiping them away, you glanced back towards Tyler and your brother. Tyler was helping your brother into the truck bed, where he had a bunch of gear strapped down. Your brother had a look of pure excitement plastered on his face as he looked around. You were far enough away so that you couldn’t make out what they were saying, but you could see your brother’s lips moving rapidly, totally skipping the shy-stage he normally went through when he met new people. 

Like he could tell you were staring, Tyler looked up and caught your eye. Even from this distance, you saw the way his lips curled into a smile that made something in your stomach flutter. He gave you a quick wave before turning his attention back towards your brother. 

Realizing your brother was in seemingly good hands, you knew you couldn’t stall calling your dad any longer. So, you pulled up his contact and dialed, preparing to give the same explanation to him as you did your mom. 

“Hey kiddo!” He answered. “How’s the road trip going?”

You were nearly twenty-eight years old, but your dad still answered the phone the same way he did when you were ten. 

“Hey dad,” you said. To your dismay, no matter how hard you fought it, your voice still cracked. 

“Everything okay?” he asked, instantly picking up on the fact that something was wrong. 

You bit your lip, fighting back tears. When you felt composed enough, you spoke. “No,” you admitted. “We’re in Oklahoma, and we got hit by a tornado while we were driving– We’re both safe, but my car is totaled– I can’t drive it.” 

“Oh my God, what?” he gasped. 

“I don’t know what happened– it was all so fast. I couldn’t outrun it– I tried. But there wasn’t anything we could do– it was moving so quickly and–”

“Okay, breathe,” your dad interrupted, his voice calm. 

You were breathing, weren’t you? Except, when you went to inhale, you realized that no, you were not. You sucked in a breath before letting out a choppy exhale. 

“Good– everything’s going to be okay. It’s just a car. They can be replaced. You’re safe, your brother is safe– that’s what’s important.” 

“We’re stranded– in the middle of nowhere.” 

“Well that’s all of Oklahoma, honey. Do you know what town you’re in?” 

“No, but I can find out,” you said shakily. After wiping your wet cheeks the best you could, you made your way back towards the truck. 

“Tyler,” you said, catching his attention. “What town are we in? My dad wants to know.”

“You’re talking to Dad?” your brother piped in. “Tell him I said hi.”

“We’re near Stillwater,” Tyler replied. 

You repeated it back to your dad. 

“Okay, who’s there helping you?”

“Uh this guy–” you said, turning away before Tyler could overhear. “He saved us.” 

“Well I’m glad to hear that. Sounds like he was in the right place at the right time. Stillwater is about six hours north of me. How about I put you guys up in a hotel for a night then I come and get you tomorrow and we can figure everything else out?” 

“Hotels are a lot… you don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but it’s going to get dark before too long, and I don’t want to be driving late. I just want you both safe until then. Why don’t you see if that guy who helped you knows a place?”

“Yeah, okay,” you said, pulling the phone back again. “Hey Tyler?” you turned to see him in the same spot– still showing your brother various gadgets and gear. “Do you know of any hotels or anything nearby? I can’t drive my car– and our dad can’t get us until tomorrow.”

Tyler sucked in a breath of air. “Yikes, there ain’t much around here. Unless you want to bunk at the motel off Broadway street. I think it’s up to a 1.8 star review on Yelp, but last I knew they had a cockroach problem.”

You grimaced. “What about buses or anything that we could take to Austin?”

“You know,” Tyler began, eyes flickering into the distance before looking back at you. “I got a big ole’ farm house not too far from here with a couple of extra bedrooms. Why don’t you both just stay the night and your dad can get you from there in the mornin’?”

You immediately began shaking your head. “No–”

But your dad’s voice on the phone caught you off guard. “Let me talk to him.”

“Dad–” you protested. 

But he insisted. 

So, begrudgingly, that was how you found yourself passing your cell phone to Tyler. 

Tyler’s eyebrow raised gently at the gesture. 

“He wants to talk to you,” you explained. 

Tyler pointed to himself, as if he was questioning if you meant your brother instead. “Me?”

You nodded. 

Tyler reached his arm out skeptically, taking your phone, then pressed it to his ear. “Uh, hello?” 

You couldn’t hear your father’s voice on the other end– just mumbling. 

“Yes sir– No, that’s not necessary, I was happy to do it–” There was a brief pause. “Yes sir. Cockroaches yeah, you heard that right. I do. Right in town actually. It’s not a problem, I have the space–” Another pause. “Of course, I can send my contact info, and the address.”

You shut your eyes– as if your father was coordinating a sleepover at Tyler’s right now. It’s not like you weren’t grateful for his offer, but you felt like he’d already helped too much. First he saved your lives, now he offers shelter?

“Alright. Alright, you too. Take care.”

With that, Tyler passed you your phone back. 

“Go with him,” your dad said, as soon as you held it back against your ear.  

“Dad–” 

“It’s one night,” he insisted. “It’s either him or the cockroaches.”

…

Less than thirty minutes later, Tyler was pulling his truck down a long, dirt driveway. Positioned at the end of it, set back with the setting sun as a backdrop, was an old, white farmhouse with a wrap around porch and blue shutters. 

“You live here?” you asked in awe. 

Tyler smiled. “Been in my family for a long time.”

“It’s beautiful,” you said, eyes now scanning the amount of land he had. There was a wheat field to the right, and to the left was a sturdy-looking barn with an exterior that matched the house. 

“Technically it belongs to my aunt. But she’s living it up in Tulsa right now, so I stay here– maintain the place for her. It’ll be mine one day.”

“Do you have horses?” your brother asked from the backseat. 

Tyler’s grin stretched the length of his face. “Sure do. Let’s get you guys cleaned up and fed, then we can see them later.”

Tyler unloaded the suitcases you’d recovered from your SUV and carried them inside for you, despite your protests. You were quickly learning that Tyler was a gentleman– always holding doors and offering his hand to help. Each time he went out of his way to help you, it caused strange feelings to stir up inside of you– ones that you had no business feeling about a man you’d just met. 

The interior of the farmhouse was just as beautiful as the outside. Tyler showed you around the first floor, pointing out the kitchen, bathroom, and living room before walking your luggage up the stairs to where the bedrooms and second bathroom were. 

“Both rooms have double beds– there’s only a shower, it’s in the bathroom up here. But feel free to use it. Towels and washcloths are in that closet there– extra blankets are in the chests at the end of the beds.”

“Thank you,” you said again, finally taking your luggage from him. “This is…” you shook your head. “You’ve been really kind, thank you.”

“My pleasure– only the best for my first New Hampshire guests,” he said cheekily. Then, Tyler clasped his hands together. “Alright, well I’ll leave you guys to it. Come on down whenever you’re ready, I’ll whip up something to eat. Y’all like burgers?”

Your brother’s face lit up. “Love them!” 

“Sounds great,” you replied. 

“Coupla’ burgers comin’ right up then,” Tyler smirked.

“He’s so cool,” your brother muttered before grabbing his bag and heading off to claim a bedroom. 

Cool was one word for him, you thought. 

…

You took longer in the shower than expected. Probably because every time you closed your eyes to rinse the shampoo out of your hair, all you could see was that goddamn tornado barreling towards you. Each and every time, it made your entire body lurch– causing you to snap open your eyes with a sense of urgency. 

Even though you were just showering– it felt like you were outside running… your breath was choppy and your heart was racing just standing there. 

You forced yourself to unclench your jaw, worried that your molars were going to crack with how tense you were. Eventually, you gave up and decided to just keep your eyes open while you rinsed your hair out. 

When you were finished, you threw on a pair of sweats and an old T-shirt from your suitcase before heading downstairs to join your brother and Tyler. You could smell the burgers before you even got to the kitchen, making your mouth water. 

“There’s New Hampshire,” Tyler grinned, seemingly proud of the nickname he’d given you. He was behind the island, setting a steaming pot down on a cooling plate next to a few empty plates stacked on top of each other.  

Your brother sat on a stool at the island– his hair still damp from his own shower, nibbling on a piece of plain white bread while he watched Tyler maneuver around the kitchen. 

“Do you need any help?” you asked. As soon as you spoke, you could hear the shakiness in your tone. You’d been trying to ignore how tight your chest still felt, but you’d have to do better at hiding it if you wanted to evade detection. 

You didn’t miss the way his eyes lingered on you for a moment before Tyler shook his head. “Nah, I’m almost done. I got burgers on the grill, some corn, and leftover pasta salad from my mom– you gotta try it.” 

He handed you and your brother each an empty plate before taking the lid off the corn pot. 

“I’ll go grab the burgers, but help yourself.”

With that, he was disappearing out the back door. 

“How’re you doing?” you asked your brother once you were alone. 

“Hungry,” he said as he piled a mound of pasta salad on his plate. 

You reached over and ran your hands through his hair before shaking his head lightly. “I don’t mean that– I mean how’re you doing after everything today? That was a lot.” 

Or at least it had been for you… 

Your brother shrugged. “It was scary, but I’m okay now. Statistically speaking tornadoes never strike the same place twice. So that one’s gone for good. And Tyler said the likelihood of another one hitting the area is extremely low.”

“That’s right,” Tyler said, as he reentered the kitchen with a plate stacked full of burgers. 

You watched him move through the kitchen with ease, pleasantly surprised by the fact that he’d obviously helped to reassure your brother. 

“You want one or two burgers?” Tyler asked him. 

Your brother held up two fingers with one hand and his plate with the other. 

“What do you say?” you mumbled, nudging him in the side. 

“Please,” he said, flashing his teeth.

“You got it,” Tyler chuckled. 

With a full plate, your brother headed for the dining room, leaving you and Tyler alone in the kitchen. 

“How are you doing?” Tyler asked as he passed you the plate of burgers. 

“Me?” you said, trying your best to sound casual. Apparently you were the only one even remotely freaked out by the fact that a tornado had almost killed all of you today. “Oh, I’m alright. Much better after showering– thank you again.”

“You gotta stop thanking me, really it’s not a problem. I wouldn’t have offered if it was,”  How are you really doing though?”

You glanced up, surprised to see Tyler’s concerned gaze fixated on you. He’d ditched the baseball hat, allowing you to see his sandy brown hair for the first time. It was slightly disheveled, but so soft. The way it was pushed back from his face made it look like Tyler had been running his fingers through it– a sight you wouldn’t mind seeing. 

Quickly, you averted your gaze back to your plate. “I’m fine.”

“Really?” he challenged you. “Because it’s okay not to be okay after getting hit by a tornado– especially for the first time.”

It was like he could sense how anxious you really were– like one of those emotional support animals. Or maybe you just didn’t have the poker face you thought you did.

“I was just worried for my brother,” you said, taking a spoonful of pasta salad. “But it seems like you managed to calm his nerves.”

“Yeah, well, kids are all the same. They just need reassurance. They wanna feel safe.”

Now was your chance to poke a little deeper– to shift the conversation off from you, but also to learn something about Tyler. “Do you have kids?” you asked, trying to make the question sound casual. 

“No,” he answered quickly. “Got a niece and a nephew though. They live in Texas, so I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like. Do you?” Tyler asked, glancing over. When he caught your confused expression, he added, “Have kids?”

“Oh, no,” you said, shaking your head. “God, no. You saw what happened today– I have my brother for less than two weeks and I almost got him killed. Imagine if I had an actual child?”

“You didn’t almost get him killed,” Tyler refuted. “You had no way of knowing that thing was comin’.”

“You knew it was coming,” you challenged. 

Tyler shrugged. “Well that’s ‘cause I’m a professional.”

“I didn’t know you could be a professional tornado-chaser,” you said teasingly, finally picking up your plate to head to the table. 

Tyler followed close behind, choosing a seat across from you and your brother. “I prefer the name tornado wrangler, myself.”

“Tornado wrangler?” you repeated skeptically. 

“That’s right,” he smirked, a hint of playfulness in his tone. 

“You’re such a badass,” your brother said between bites. He was already halfway done his food. You felt another pang of guilt– he really was hungry.  

“So what does a tornado wrangler do exactly?” you asked. 

Tyler chewed his food for a moment before answering. “Well, we have a YouTube channel. And we livestream videos of us headin’ into storms. We offer our viewers a close look at the tornadoes– a view most of them will never see in real life.”

“We? You mean there’s more than just one of you crazy enough to chase those things?”

Tyler’s face was full-on beaming now, and you could tell just how passionate he really was about all of this. Even if it scared the absolute shit out of you– you loved to hear him talk about it. 

“I got a whole team– there’s Boone, he’s my buddy behind the camera, he takes care of the livestream and the editing when we need it. Then I got Lilly, she operates our drone. That helps give us alternative coverage and vantage points when we need it. Dexter and Dani both help with storm tracking– but Dani also helps fix the gear and stuff when we need it.”

“What’s the scariest tornado you’ve ever seen?” your brother asked, pieces of burger flying out of his mouth while he spoke. 

“Chew your food before talking,” you said under your breath. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

Tyler let out a soft chuckle, his eyes flickering to yours before turning back to your brother. “I think the scariest tornado I’ve ever seen was when I was about your age– My mom and I got caught up in an EF 4 while we were drivin’. It picked us right up– dropped us in a field about half a mile away.”

“EF 4?” you asked cluelessly. 

“It’s the Enhanced Fujita Scale,” your brother replied. “It measures the tornado's speed and estimated damage.”

“That’s right,” Tyler smiled, like he was proud of your brother for knowing. “They measure on a scale of 0-5.”

“What was the one that hit us today?” you asked warily. 

“Today was an EF1,” Tyler answered. 

All the blood drained from your face. “A one?” you gaped. 

In the midst of taking a bite of corn, he nodded. 

“You’re telling me that thing could have been worse?”

The corner of Tyler’s lip twitched upwards. “A lot worse,” he said grimly. “That’s why it was safe to stay in my truck. We drive her into zero’s and one’s all the time, she handles a two pretty good. Even managed a three once.”

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath. 

The rest of the evening consisted of your brother bombarding Tyler with questions about his job– how many tornadoes had he seen? What was an EF5 like? Had he ever seen a cow fly through the air like in the movies? 

But you had a hard time listening after a while– each additional fact you learned about tornadoes made your skin crawl. Your heart rate had picked up again– similar to how it was in the shower. It was taking all of your energy to just appear normal while you picked at the remaining food on your plate. 

Why would anyone willing chase one of those things? What you witnessed today was one of the smallest possible tornadoes– and it was still terrifying. You couldn’t imagine if you’d been out there faced by something worse. 

Their conversation eventually became muffled background noise, something that nestled in the back of your mind while you tried to focus on your breath and willed yourself not to shake.

That is, until you feel something boney jab in your side, making everything come back into focus again. 

“What?” you asked, turning cluelessly towards your brother. 

“Tyler asked if you were done,” he said, nodding towards your plate. 

“Oh–” you said, embarrassed. That’s when you noticed Tyler was now standing, arm extended like he was reaching for your dish. “Yeah– yeah, I’m done.” 

He moved to collect your plate for you but you stopped him. “No, I’ll get these– you guys talk.” 

“You sure?” he asked warily. 

“Yeah, I’m sure– You cook and house us, I can do some dishes.”

With a brief, unconvincing smile, you quickly gathered as much as you could in your arms and fled into the kitchen for some space. 

What the hell was wrong with you? It was like you couldn’t catch your breath, no matter how hard you tried. 

As you scrubbed at the dishes, arms extended under warm water, you tried desperately to get it together. No one had died– no one had even gotten hurt. Plus, like Tyler had told your brother– the probability of this happening again was incredibly slim. So why couldn’t you stop feeling like that EF1 was consuming you? 

By the time you were finished with the dishes, your hands were shaking so bad, you could barely set them on the drying rack. So, you snapped off the water and leaned against the counter, gripping the lip of it tightly and taking some deep breaths. Vaguely, you heard your little brother’s laughter from the other room. You latched onto the sound and tried to let it soothe you. 

Everyone was okay. 

He’s laughing– he’s having fun. You’re all okay. 

After his laughter stills, you hear the sound of chair legs sliding across the floor. “I’m gonna go grab some water, you want any dessert, big guy? I got ice cream.” 

“No thanks, I’m full from the burgers.”

Tyler chuckled. “Alright, be right back.”

Quickly, you swallowed the lump in your throat and started putting the condiments away, trying to look as normal as possible before Tyler approached. 

“Thanks for doing all of those,” Tyler said once he got to the kitchen. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Oh, it’s the least I could do,” you said, turning to face him. 

“My mom would kill me if she knew I let my guest do the dishes.”

“My mom would kill me if she knew I let someone save, cook, and house me without me doing the dishes.”

Tyler grinned. “Fair enough, New Hampshire.” 

“You keep calling me that,” you said. “But I don’t actually live in New Hampshire, you know?” 

Tyler’s eyebrow curled up in an expression that said tell me more. 

“My mom and brother live there. I used to live there. But now I have an apartment in Boston, been there since college.”

“Boston?” Tyler repeated. “Ah, so you’re like a nine-to-five city girl.”

You frowned. “Not anymore,” you admitted. “It was killing me. Especially in the winter– you go to work before the sun’s up, and you’re out after it sets. I couldn’t do it anymore, so I recently quit.”

“What’re you gonna do now?” he inquired. 

You shrugged. “I’m trying to figure that out. Probably move somewhere with less concrete, and hopefully find a job that lets me out before the sun sets.”

Tyler set his glass of water on the kitchen island. “So what you’re saying is I can’t call you New Hampshire or Boston?” 

“You got a problem with just using people’s names?” 

Tyler shrugged. “I like nicknames. Shows that someone’s special to ya.”

You felt like your feet had been knocked out from underneath you. You cleared your throat before looking away, heat rushing to your cheeks. 

“You know, I don’t mean to pry,” Tyler said, changing the subject. “But are you sure you’re alright?” 

“I’m fine,” you said quickly. 

“I just– at dinner you seemed a little zoned out.”

“I’m just tired,” you lied. 

Tyler paused, eyes scanning you sincerely. His gaze felt like it could set you on fire– like every inch of your skin was set ablaze. Ultimately, he decided to back off. “Okay then,” he said. “I’ll finish up here, why don’t you guys get settled for bed? It’s been a long day.” 

“Okay– yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Pushing off the counter, you brushed past him, pausing only when you got to the doorframe. 

“Tyler?” 

He spun around quickly. 

“I know you said to stop thanking you but seriously… Thank you. For everything.” 

His lips curled upwards in a smile that didn’t reach his eyes the way you’d already learned you liked. He gave a curt nod. “I’m happy to do it, New Hampshire,” he said, sticking with his original nickname. 

You made your way upstairs to bed with your little brother and a stupid smile plastered on your face. 

…

“We have to move!” you shouted, hoping your brother could hear you above the wind. 

But instead of reacting or doing anything at all, he just stood there– his back towards you while he stared at the swirling clouds in the distance. 

“Hey!” you screamed. “We gotta go!” 

You took a step forward– but weren’t any closer to him. 

Frowning, you took another step– then another. But the distance remained the same. Screaming his name, you pleaded with him to turn around. If he didn’t move, you were both going to die– the tornado had touched down. It was barrelling right for you. It was sucking roofs off houses, and breaking fences into tiny pieces. Debris flew all around at what seemed like a hundred miles per hour– shards of glass, pieces of plywood. Something was going to hit you– or worse, your brother. 

You were running now, trying desperately to reach him. If you could just get there in time, maybe you could grab his arm and pull him away in time. 

But it was no use– you were too slow. And the tornado was so fast. Right before your eyes– you saw your brother get sucked into the funnel– his entire frame flying up in the air. 

You screamed– 

He screamed back– you heard your name echo through the storm. 

He was calling for you– begging for you to save him. 

You screamed louder– 

Then you heard a voice yell. Except, this voice didn’t match your brothers—it was too deep and less familiar. Your body tensed as you were jostled. 

With force, your eyes finally snapped open, revealing the vaguely familiar room around you. The moonlight poured through the curtain that you forgot to close and revealed Tyler’s worried-looking face peering over her. His green eyes were blown open and wide, his lips slightly parted as his gaze raked over the length of you. 

“Tyler–” you croaked. 

“There you are,” he exhaled. “You’re okay, you’re at my house– you’re safe.”

You opened your mouth, instantly trying to think of a way to brush this whole thing off– maybe make a joke or something to ease the tension. But instead of finding words, a choppy, uneven huff of air poured out of you. You tried again, but this time all you could do was desperately gasp– like you couldn’t get enough air in your lungs. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Tyler said. You felt the bed dip as he sat down beside you. Without even thinking, you reached out for him– fingers clasping onto the fabric of his white t-shirt. He placed his hands on top of yours and gave them a gentle, reassuring squeeze. 

“Baby, you’re okay,” he said. If you could breathe, you might have melted at the pet name he gave you. Instead, your wild eyes searched his desperately.  “I got you. Breathe with me– look.” Tyler took a couple of deep breaths, exaggerating the act so that you’d copy him. You tried, but ended up just choking harder. 

“Just do it with me.” 

With an intense amount of concentration, you were finally able to latch onto the sound of Tyler breathing. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. 

“There you go,” he soothed. “You got it.”

You’re not sure how long the two of you stayed like that– but eventually, your breathing returned to normal. 

That’s when the embarrassment kicked in. Because how utterly mortifying to be a guest at someone’s home and to wake them up screaming because of some stupid nightmare. 

“I’m so–”

“Don’t even think about apologizing,” Tyler said gently. “You got nothing to be sorry for.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but then realized there was no point. Tyler would just refute whatever you said. So instead, you asked the question that had been burning in your brain since you got to the farm house. 

“Why am I so affected by this and no one else is? What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Tyler assured you instantly. “In fact, you’re probably the only normal one in this house– most people get freaked out after bein’ near a tornado, much less in the middle of one. I have this weird thing goin’ on where I just feel more alive if my life’s in danger, and no offense but I think your brother’s brain might be wired a little differently than most.”

You let out a genuine laugh– the first of the night. “He’s on the spectrum,” you explained. “You’re really good with him, you know? Most people just think he’s odd and ignore him. But not you– you actually talk to him.” 

Tyler smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he did. “He’s a good kid.” 

You nodded in agreement. “You know he didn’t even want to come on this road trip with me? He wanted to fly to my dad’s– but I talked him into it. I’ve felt so lost since quitting my job and I needed a distraction. I used my little brother as a distraction.”

“Wanting to spend time with someone doesn’t mean you’re using them. It seems like he’s having a good time,” Tyler said. “He told me all about the Titanic museum you took him to in Nashville.” 

You chuckled. “He loves disasters. It’s kind of his thing. That’s why he knows so much about tornadoes–”

“And today he got to see one– up close. I bet he’ll tell that story for the rest of his life.”

“The story about how his older sister almost got him killed,” you said, head hanging with shame. 

“The story of how his big sister stayed so incredibly calm, even though she was terrified– just so that she could make sure he was okay. The big sister who kept him safe even though they got caught in a tornado.” 

You glanced up towards Tyler to see him looking at you with what looked like yearning in his expression. You wanted to just lean forward and wrap your arms around his neck– let him hold you and comfort you and tell you that everything was going to be alright. You couldn’t know for sure but he just looked like he gave the best hugs. Instead though, you tried to come to your senses. You blinked harshly, and glanced down at the blankets pooled in your lap. 

“I hate being afraid,” you admitted. “I know it’s normal– and it keeps us safe. But it makes me feel weak.”

“I get it,” Tyler replied. “That’s why I started the channel. I was sick of being afraid of ‘em, so I decided to chase ‘em instead.”

“Yeah, well maybe I’ll have to tag along with your team on the next one,” you joked. 

Tyler’s face lit up. “You could, you know. We go all the time– and it’s tornado season in Oklahoma so we probably wouldn't have to wait that long to find one.”

He couldn’t possibly be serious– but the look on his face told you that he was. 

“My dad’s getting us tomorrow,” you reminded him. 

All the excitement on Tyler’s face fell– making something inside of you fall with it. “Right,” he said, shaking his head. “Of course, yeah.” 

“But maybe I’ll tune into your channel,” you offered, hoping to get even a hint of that excitement back. You hated seeing him disappointed. 

Tyler smiled, “You better,” he teased, nudging your leg through the blanket. “Hey, I don’t know about you, but I’m probably not going to get much sleep tonight. You want some tea or somethin’?”

You couldn’t help but nod– it was hard to say no to him. 

…

You and Tyler ended up talking through most of the night. The more you talked, the more you realized he was someone you could really see yourself falling for. He made you laugh– and not the fake kind you did to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, either. On several occasions, he had you curled over, shaking with laughter because of something he said. And he was a good listener– always asking follow-up questions or inquiring more. 

Before you knew it, six entire hours had passed and the sun was rising on the east side of the barn, shining golden light through the gaps in the curtains.  

You had found yourself curled up in the living room, back pressed against the arm of the couch and facing Tyler. He shifted in his seat, and, without thinking, you tucked your feet underneath his thigh, causing him to hiss. 

“Your feet are freezing,” he gasped playfully, but he didn't pull away.  

You laughed in response, digging them further underneath his legs.  

“I can feel them through my pants,” he said, laughing with you.  

“It’s morning,” you observed, unable to believe that you spent an entire night talking to him. 

He bit his lip and nodded. “Time flies.” He chuckled lightly before standing up from the couch, leaving your feet feeling cold again, and walking into the adjoined kitchen. You followed him awkwardly, just a step or two behind. You watch as he retrieved two mugs from a tall cabinet and placed them on the countertop.    

“Coffee?” he asked, nonchalantly, holding the cup up as an offering.  

You sighed a breath of relief at the thought of coffee– especially after only an hour or two of sleep. “Yes. Please.” 

Tyler rummaged around the kitchen for a few minutes, putting the coffee on before peering into the fridge. He pulled some items out, placing them gently on the counter behind him. His back was turned towards you for the most part, and you couldn’t help but watch him as he moved. It was a nice view, you thought.  

 “Do you like eggs?” Tyler’s words interrupted your staring. “I have some bacon, too.”

“You’re making breakfast?” You asked, your tone sounding sharper than intended through your disbelief. First saving your life, then dinner, then a place to sleep, then comforting you during a nightmare, now breakfast… 

Tyler nodded, “I’m a breakfast guy. Unless you’re not hungry,” he said, backtracking quickly. “I just thought–” 

You could sense the panic in his voice, almost as if he was just as nervous as you. You quickly spoke up to reassure him. “No- I love breakfast. I just wasn’t expecting any, is all.”

Tyler subtly exhaled a breath of relief. “Yeah well, be sure to give me a five star review. I’m competing with the cockroach motel for business. Scrambled okay?” he asked, motioning towards the eggs. 

You nodded before taking a seat at the island. 

Tyler continued to work with his back to you, arms moving a bit as he scrambled the eggs that were cooking in the pan. When he was finished, he pulled out three plates and portioned some into each. Then he moved to throw the toast and sausage he’d also made on top. 

Because your brother wasn’t up yet, Tyler set a paper towel over his plate, preserving it for now before traveling to your side of the island and taking a seat right beside you. 

The two of you ate breakfast, your conversation never faltering. You talked about school– what you studied, who your roommates were. You talked about jobs and family– one conversation just naturally progressing to the next. 

After about half an hour, your brother staggered downstairs– his hair poking out in all directions informing you that he slept “like a baby.” Tyler listened to him talk about his dream– something about robots chasing tornadoes. Tyler asked him follow up questions, too– like what kind of robots they were and what kind of truck they used to chase the tornadoes. 

Tyler was kind of beautiful, you found yourself quickly realizing. Not that you hadn’t noticed how attractive he was before– of course you had… Practically the first moment you laid your eyes on him after your life was in danger. But Tyler smiled this giant smile as he let your brother talk his ear off about stuff you knew he couldn’t possibly care about. But he pretended to– and his eyes got crinkly and his laugh came straight from his belly. 

You supposed you could blame your fluttering stomach on the adrenaline still coursing through your system after being attacked by a tornado and then having a panic attack last night. Your skin felt electrified. But you knew that the trauma you’d endured had nothing to do with it. You knew it could only be Tyler that was making you feel this way. And you’d only known the man for about sixteen hours by now, but you couldn’t deny what you already felt for him.  

It felt easy with Tyler. And although you spent the night before pretending you were fine– you realized that you didn’t have to. He was someone you could just be authentic with. 

Your dad reached out to you shortly after seven, informing you he was on the road and would be in Stillwater just around noon. 

You found yourself dreading having to say goodbye to Tyler before the moment even came. 

In the meantime, he took the time to show your brother the horses, letting him spend as much time with them as he wanted. Then he gave him a full tour of the barn– chickens and cows alike. 

You were outside, watching your brother be brave enough to approach one of the horses that Tyler had ensured was friendly when his phone went off beside you.  

Tyler pulled it from his pocket and checked the caller ID before sliding his thumb across the screen. 

“Hey Boone,” he answered. “No, I haven’t looked yet. Why? Oh is it? Where?” 

You tried not to eavesdrop, but you really couldn’t help it. 

“What time are they thinking? Yeah, no. I’m busy until noon. Three’s perfect. Alright– see you then, bye.”

He slid his phone back in his pocket with ease, his attention falling to you. 

“Another tornado?” you asked, eyebrows raised skeptically. 

He smirked. “Can’t stop weather, New Hampshire. Invite’s still there if you wanna tag along.” 

…

Despite how badly you wanted time to stretch on forever, your father’s truck rode into the driveway just before after noon. 

Tyler took all your luggage downstairs and loaded it into the truck while the three of you reunited. You met your dad halfway between his car and the porch, letting him pull you in for a tight hug. 

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” he murmured into your hair before reaching for your brother. When he was done embracing you both, he held his hand out towards Tyler. 

“Thank you, son,” he said genuinely. “For being there for them.”

“My pleasure, sir,” Tyler replied, shaking his hand firmly. 

To your surprise, after everything was loaded in the car, your brother ran right up to Tyler and wrapped his arms around his waist– offering him a hug. Your brother rarely showed affection to those within his family– let alone people outside of it. In your eyes, that was further evidence of how special Tyler really was. 

Tyler hugged him back before ruffling his hair affectionately. “Take care, bud. Thanks for helpin’ me with the horses today. You gonna come back and visit soon?”

He nodded eagerly– to your delight, the pair had exchanged numbers. 

“Alright c’mon,” your dad said, ushering your brother to the car and leaving you and Tyler alone. 

“What about you?” Tyler asked, taking a step closer to you. “Are you gonna come back and visit soon?” 

Your entire insides erupted– like molten lava was encasing everything inside of you. You could smell the aftershave he’d splashed on his neck and wanted nothing more than for it to just engulf you entirely. “That depends,” you said, standing your ground as he took another step forward. 

“On what?” he asked gently, reaching across the small space between you to tuck a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. It was a simple, yet incredibly intimate action that made your knees feel wobbly. 

“Are you going to drive me into the middle of a tornado?”

“I might.”

You smirked. “Well then, I guess I might come back.”

“Lord help me if you do, New Hampshire.”

You knew your dad was right behind you– but you couldn’t help but wish Tyler would kiss you right then and there– prove to you that he felt the same things you were feeling. Then maybe you could leave behind your dad and brother and stay a little longer with Tyler. But that was too big of a risk without the confirmation. You looked at him eagerly, willing him to say something. 

“So I guess I’ll see ya around,” he said, making your shoulders fall. 

It felt so final. 

“See ya around,” you replied, hating to admit how disappointed you actually felt. You offered him one final smile before turning around and jogging back towards your dad’s truck. 

…

“You’re an idiot,” your brother said from the backseat, catching you off guard. 

“Excuse me?” you said, turning to face him. 

“Why didn’t you stay? I heard Tyler invite you like three times.”

You frowned. “He didn’t mean it. He was just being nice.”

“I don’t think Tyler says things he doesn’t mean,” he said simply. 

You heard your dad let out a choked laugh from beside you. 

“I can’t just stay at Tyler’s house–” you said. “That’s crazy. We’re going back to Texas.”

“Actually, I already drove six hours today,” your dad said. “I really don’t want to drive another six, so I was planning on grabbing a hotel. We could just pick you up later,” he suggested. 

“Or not,” your brother piped in. 

You bit your lip– and really considered the possibility of taking Tyler up on his offer. But that was crazy– you barely knew him. What if he didn’t really mean it– what if he was just trying to be nice?

“I think you’re just afraid,” your brother said.

“Afraid?” you said with disbelief. “Of what?”

“Tornadoes, rejection, love… you name it.”

God, you hated being afraid. 

…

Tyler watched as your dad’s truck got smaller as it drove further away. He kicked himself for not trying harder, for not doing more to convince you to stay. He knew he couldn’t force you, and the last thing he wanted to be was too pushy, but damn he wished you’d taken the bait. 

He could’ve kissed you– God, he wanted to. But your dad’s gaze was lingering warily and he just couldn’t take the chance. What if you pulled away? What if you were insulted? What if he’d read all these signs totally wrong?

He’d never felt anything like how he felt around you. And he just knew that the sound of your laugh would hold a spot in his heart forever. 

But maybe this was how your story was supposed to end– like a tornado. No matter how badly he wanted it to last forever, eventually they all fizzled out to blue skies. 

Full of self-pity, Tyler was just about to turn and head back into the house when he saw the brake lights of your dad’s truck turn on. In the distance, he watched as you climbed carefully out of the front seat, hoist open the back door, and haul your luggage out. 

His heart fluttered at the sight. But when he saw you grab your bag and start jogging back towards him like you had a purpose, he felt like his chest might explode. 

You wanted to stay– 

With a newfound confidence, Tyler began running towards you, kicking up dirt and rocks as he went. 

When he reached you– just past the mailbox in the road, you offered him a small smile. 

“You came back,” he observed. 

You shrugged your shoulders, slightly out of breath. “I did.”

“Why?” he dared to ask. 

You paused, like you were really thinking about his question. After a moment, you said, “I think the one thing that scares me more than tornadoes right now is you,” you admitted to him. “And I really hate being afraid.”

Tyler was pleasantly surprised when you started stepping forward. He matched your efforts and soon– you were almost chest to chest. He glanced down at you with awe. 

“Some cocky YouTube star once told me that you should chase your fears,” you said breathlessly. 

Tyler couldn't contain the smile that was spreading across his entire face. “He sounds like a really smart guy, you should introduce me–”

“Will you shut up and please just kiss–” 

Before you could even get the words out, Tyler reacted the way his body wanted him to. Firmly but gently, he cupped your jaw with one hand, the other arm curling around your back. 

And then, right there on the lone dirt road that always had a way of feeling like home, he kissed you with everything he had. 

[miumura]

TREATIN’ ME LIKE AN ENEMY ｡ ｡ ｡ ｡ 엔하이픈 🪽 ✦

( 𝓢 ) ﹕ in a secret relationship with your “enemy”

──── enhypen hyung line x f ! r ╱ ⌕ est. but secret relationship, workplace / co-workers au, fluff, comfort ( ? ) ∿ w. petnames, rude co-worker + mention of blood in sunghoon’s ( nothing graphic ) wc. 1.6K+ ( 1645 ) ｡ ｡ might need to make jey into my top 5 bc i love this song 😆

❛❛ 💬 ❞ 𝗦𝗢𝗣𝗛 > 𓂃 𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗖𝗞 𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗦𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗙 ⋮ 🪽

LEE HEESEUNG

“You’ll be working with…Lee Heeseung,” your supervisor said to you during a team meeting, unknowingly dropping a bombshell. It left your co-workers to exchange nervous glances around the room. Everyone knew you and Heeseung were practically sworn enemies, your relentless competitiveness with each other being the worst-kept secret in the office.

“So, go sit with your partner and start working on a new proposal,” your supervisor wrapped up the meeting, leaving everyone to scramble around to switch seats.

You chose to stay put, looking extremely disinterested as Heeseung was making his way over to the empty seat next to you. As you glanced at him, he seemed to wear the same look too as he sat down.

He scooted his chair closer to you, opening up his laptop. “Let’s work on this project with no hiccups, alright?” he says, his voice loud enough for others to hear.

To everyone else, you two were like oil and water—certainly not a good pair in other people’s eyes. What your co-workers didn’t know, however, was how Heeseung sneakily chose to get closer to intertwine his hands with yours under the table.

You subtly squeezed his hand back, both of you trying—and failing—to suppress the smiles threatening to creep onto your faces.

They certainly didn’t know how good of a pair you two could be.

PARK JONGSEONG

“Oh come on, you’re avoiding me even when we’re alone now?” Jay teased after trying to get your attention for the past few minutes. “It was just an act, I promise.”

You didn't even look up from your screen. “Suddenly sending me spam emails at once in front of our co-worker, and telling me I can’t delete them because one of them has important project details…” You tried to grit your teeth to hold back your frustration, but the words still slipped out. “And now I have to go through every single one of these with the same titles but blank emails? That’s a bit mean, don’t you think?”

"People were getting suspicious," he said, rolling his chair closer to you, only for you to shove it away with your leg. He just smirked, clearly amused by your reaction. "They said I’ve been too ‘normal’... or I guess, too nice to you lately."

“Well, I rather have a nice boyfriend right now, instead of him watching me go through these emails,” you huffed, your eyes still fixed on the screen. “You could at least share me another copy of it or just tell me now if it’s actually anything important.”

“I would think it’s rather important,” Jay replied, drawing out the last word in a teasing sing-song tone.

Finally, you glanced over at him, your frustration barely contained. He wore a small but sly smirk, his eyebrows slightly raised, clearly waiting to see what you’d do next.

“Are you going to tell me?” you asked, not sure whether to be more annoyed or curious.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to those emails for that?” He said, causing you to abruptly spin around, with your eyes glued once again.

“You’re really mean,” you said, thinking of the plan to ignore him once again.

He lightly chuckled, getting up from his chair and walking behind you. His hand rested on the back of your chair, and you felt a familiar warmth when his other hand slid over yours on the mouse.

“It’s this one,” he whispered close to your ear, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. You jolted slightly, turning to face him, eyes wide in surprise as his heartwarming smile spread across his face. “Why don’t you read it?”

You cleared your throat, your fingers lingering on the mouse as you clicked on the email. But there were no project details—just a simple message:

“Let’s go to the place you’ve always wanted to go to?”

Your heart skipped a beat. You quickly turned to face Jay, lips parted in surprise as you watched his eyes light up, clearly waiting for your reaction.

“So, what do you say?” Jay crouched down to your level, holding your hand gently.

“Let’s go on a date?”

SIM JAEYUN

"Do you not know how to do a single thing?" you asked in disbelief, flipping through the “messy” weekly report Jake had written.

"Are you seriously trying to criticize my work right now?" Jake shot back, his voice sharp enough to make heads turn outside the break room.

He stepped closer, reaching for the paper in your hand. His brows furrowed, and his expression hardened, his frustration clear as he tilted his head to meet your gaze.

“Do you think you’re my bos—” Jake stopped mid-sentence, his ears perking at the sound of hurried footsteps outside. His eyes darted to the window of the door, catching a glimpse of a group of people quickly scurrying away. He walked closer, double checking to make sure everyone was out of sight.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, his serious demeanor melted in an instant. He turned back to you with a cheeky grin, a sight you started to get familiar with. Without hesitation, he crossed the room to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you into a tight hug.

“Not at work, babe,” you said as you nudged him away from you, although you still wanted to be in his embrace. His pouty expression had you lightly chuckling as his hands stayed firmly on your hips.

“Are you really the same person a minute ago?” you teased, wondering how your boyfriend was able to change expressions that quick.

“Is my acting that good?” Jake asked, his grin growing even wider, his pride written all over his face.

"A little too good," you admitted with a small laugh, your fingers tracing gentle circles over his knuckles. "I wonder what you were going to say next? Do I think I'm your... what?"

“Boss,” he clarified where he had left off from, his tone softening as he added, “and we both know that’s not what you are.”

“So, what am I?”

“I think you’re my girl,” he said confidently, but then he quickly shook his head. “Scratch that—I know that you’re my girl.”

PARK SUNGHOON

“And… Y/N,” your co-worker trailed off, his tone suddenly sharp as he glanced over your report. The air in the room grew heavy, and an uneasy silence filled the space. “You’ve done better work than this.”

The sound of a pin dropping could have echoed in the room. All eyes shifted to you as heat rose to your face. Your own gaze flickered from the report in his hands to the floor, shame creeping in.

“Are you going to say anything?” he pressed.

“I’m sorry…” you managed to mumble, your voice barely audible.

“That’s it?” His tone grew harsher, and your eyes darted back to him, surprised by the sound in his voice. “Aren’t you going to reassure us that you’ll do better next time?”

“I…” You bit your lip, trying to steady yourself, but the sting from the broken skin sent a jolt through you.

“I don’t know why you’ve been so—“

“If you don’t mind letting her finish her sentence instead of acting like a jerk, that would be greatly appreciated,” Sunghoon’s voice cut him off, making everyone turn toward him.

You blinked, shocked to hear him speak up for you. The whispers started immediately—no one expected Sunghoon to defend you, not given your so-called “bad terms.”

“Instead of giving her constructive criticism, you’re just trying to tear her down,” Sunghoon continued, his voice calm but serious. He picked up a copy of one of the very reports laid out, flipping through it with sharp precision. “And honestly, I don’t think you’re in any position to talk about anyone else’s work.”

“Excuse me?” The co-worker looked both offended and startled.

“When was the last time our supervisor called your report anything more than average?”

The room filled with hushed murmurs, and you saw the co-worker’s face turn red. He fired back, “Why are you defending her? Aren’t you two supposed to hate each other?”

Sunghoon leaned back slightly, crossing his arms. “Should I just leave my morals because of some petty label people decided to put on us? I won’t stand by while you talk to her like that.”

“You two clearly have something going on—” the man started, pointing an accusatory finger at both of you, only to stop mid-sentence when Sunghoon suddenly scraped his chair against the floor and stood up.

The entire room fell silent as Sunghoon grabbed your arm, his touch firm but not forceful. Without a word, you stood as well, letting him guide you toward the door.

“If you’ll excuse us both,” Sunghoon said, his voice having an unmistakable edge, “call us back when this team can manage a respectful meeting.”

The door shut firmly behind you, muffling the chaos of the room. Sunghoon immediately turned to you, his hands gently cupping your face.

“You’re bleeding,” he murmured, his thumb brushing over your lip with tenderness. You winced slightly, and he frowned. “I’ll get you some ointment.”

“Hoon, you didn’t have to do that…” you said softly.

He shook his head, his hands still framing your face. “Come on, even if everyone thinks we’re enemies, I wasn’t going to just sit there and let someone treat my girlfriend like that. And I’m sorry I didn’t step in sooner. I didn’t think that jerk would keep going like that.”

A soft chuckle escaped your lips as you smiled up at him. “He’s always been like that. I’ve just dealt with it for so long.”

“Well, you don’t have to anymore,” Sunghoon said firmly, his hands moving to gently hold your arms. His eyes softened as he looked at you. “Regardless of what people think or what they call us, I’ll stand up for you.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

‘💬’ ─── this was supposed to be an 0t7 work but i started blanking out 😖 but hey first hyung line work !!