#I don’t have the cool mental illness I have the lame boring ass rots in their room and can’t even cry illness
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Man why is everything fucking terrifying
#why can’t I be 30 have a nice house and a job I’m okay with and mentally okay now#why is doing anything so stressful or take so much time#talking to anyone is difficult doing any sort of paperwork without outside confirmation is scary making any large life choice is difficult#at this point getting out of the house is fucking awful I don’t even want to go to cute stores any more I don’t have money#I want more clothes I want more charms I want more things to make other things I want to go to the park with friends and make jokes about#stupid shit I want to have lunch with my friends I want friends who care about me I want to be fucking comfortable in my life I don’t want#to be in my room all fucking day I don’t want to be like this but I don’t have anything else to be like#I think I have ocd. or like scopophobia.#I’m so tired of being home alone and knowing everyone else is out with their Others and having fun#I’m so fucking tired in general Im too much of a wimp to do substance abuse abt it though#I don’t have the cool mental illness I have the lame boring ass rots in their room and can’t even cry illness#I want help but I don’t want it yk#alright goodnight I have to get up by 7:30 and then get yelled at by my mom tomorrow <:
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