#I don’t have it in me to fully analyze rn but the other week I wrote about alan’s fear of being used and how deep that goes

[jimmyspades]

[crybabyddl]

I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO REITERATE SOMETHING

Yes, let’s circle back to the beautiful performance of Edge of Great. More specifically the BODY LANGUAGE, particularly Julie and Luke’s, which I will be analyzing with gifs.

Exhibit A

Jealous Luke looks over at Julie and Reggie vibing

Julie is aware that she’s avoiding Luke, which she is doing so bc she realized her feelings for him thanks to Flynn earlier in the episode.

Since Julie has put the task of ignoring Luke upon herself even though she has no obligation to, she ends up failing her own mission. She sees Luke’s reaction to the lack of her attention.

She literally FREEZES. She’s emotionally worried to confront what she’s feeling and it’s beginning to manifest physically.

Exhibit B

It gets better y’all. After Luke finally has even a crumb of Julie’s attention, he beckons her over with his signature head tilt. This is important bc he did this with his longtime bandmate during the soundcheck of what would’ve been their biggest performance. If he feels comfortable enough using that body language with a girl he’s only known for, what, a week and a half(?) then you know this puppy boy’s got it BAD.

Julie is well aware that Luke is getting jealous. But in classic Julie fashion, she will try to tune it out instead of addressing it. Our wicked beauty doesn’t like confrontation and would rather just deny and avoid than potentially make things awkward, especially when she knows Luke would ask her about it at a later time.

The look on Julie’s face. Her eyes widen and the classic tight-lipped awkward smile is present. She’s literally saying “ok enough of that let’s get back to work doo doo doo” with her face. The way her body SWINGS back into performance mode as she faces the audience again. It may have been a split second, but when you’re deliberately trying to avoid looking into the dreamy (dead) eyes of someone you shouldn’t be crushing on, any amount of time feels too long. Plus, she knows Flynn is watching and doesn’t want her to lecture her (but she does anyway bc Flynn is observant and knows her bestie too well to let any action slip past her).

Exhibit C

Keep in mind; NONE OF THE GUYS KNOW WHY JULIE IS AVOIDING LUKE. Flynn, Alex, and Reggie have noticed the Juke chemistry, but it’s still too soon for them to get past the “we like each other but we’re too clueless to notice that we reciprocate” phase, so even though their respective besties know, they are still denying. Besides, Reg, Alex, and Flynn know better than to keep pestering if they want to keep their kneecaps. In reality they’re both smart enough to tell by this point, but for the sake of the plot and to make everything more adorably frustrating, Flynn has the collective brain cell under lock and key, leaving Juke to be like *dog tilting its head and making that “a-roo?” noise*

Anyway, Reggie notices Luke being snubbed after realizing that his extra dose of Julie time was slightly out of the ordinary. Luke is clearly concerned (look at his eyebrows and how his eyes travel from Reggie, to Julie, then to the audience to trying and get his mind off it and bring his focus back to the main goal; the performance.) If he can’t have the moment of connection with Julie that he so desperately craves, he’s gonna fill that void as best he can by connecting with the audience. >:’)

But Reggie’s trying to help Luke brush it off by conveying his reaction as ‘look at julie coming into her own! i told you she was a star! and you thought you were the lead singer? think again buddy this girl’s got you beat!’

But since Reggie isnt a master at hiding his feelings yet, especially around Luke, —who was able to get under his skin earlier (“girls, am i right?”)—Luke was easily able to see through that and interpreted what Reggie was saying as “look at julie go, she all in the zone. you’re literally making heart eyes at her get a grip you’re slacking lmao” (hence luke’s right eyebrow quirking at reggie like ‘dude seriously gimme a break u know i need attention like tinkerbell’) even though Reggie’s true message was a bit less harsh and more lovingly teasing, but it’s Luke, he sees things through his eyes and at his intensity, regardless of who it’s coming from. (This is one of the reasons why Luke comes off as selfish at times.)

Exhibit D

Poor Lukey boi can’t seem to catch a break today! Not only does Julie ignore him, then has a cute lil (platonic but it’s luke so it still makes him jealous >:P) moment, but now she has the AUDACITY to interact with Alex? The guy who was out learning Ghost 101 with this Willie guy instead of rehearsing with the band? What gives?! What’s he got that your moody ghost bf doesn’t? >:’(

He literally just watches, and even glances back in a way that, to me, screams ‘did i see that right? did i just see what i just saw with my own dreamy (but dead) eyes? say sike rn.’ \_(*_*)_/

Meanwhile, Alex pays no mind. I like to think that Alex is fully aware that Luke is an angry boy rn, but has learned to ignore it, especially this bc literally NOTHING happened. Either that or Alex has no clue and just truly thinks nothing of it and is having too much fun to think about Luke’s moody and childish behavior. Either way, Alex is just straight chilling and we love to see it *^_^*

Notice how Reggie is right there vibing with Julie and Alex. Luke feels a bit betrayed like ‘not you too! i know you were the first to turn on me but i figured since you’re such a golden retriever you’d be loyal and come back to my side!😠🥲’

Also; Luke approaches the rest of the group, wanting to be included in at least SOME of the vibing, but when Julie starts dancing and smiling with her buddy Alex, he backs up like

“you know what? nope. nevermind. not doin’ it.”

and the group’s like “i mean hey it’s your loss, but luke we want you to-”

“no, bc you chose to piss me off right in front of my face so no luke time for any of you! no cuddles, no hugs, no nothing! you made your bed, now lie in it and perish.”

Exhibit E & F: This is where it gets a bit interesting and theorized hehe...

Now we all know that this moment is just fucking ICONIC

WEOWH NEOW NEOW!!! WEOW NEHR NEHR NER-NER-NER NEHR NEHR NEOWHR!!! (wer nehr-nehr-ner-ner-nehr-nehr!!) WUEHNER-NEUHNER-NEHR-NEEOW-NEOWH! DLOOLOODDUH-DOODLAH-HOOBLUEH-NEOWHR-NEUEHR-NEEEEEEUOWRH!!!!

But hear me out– HEAR ME OUT!

What if... now don’t shoot the messenger who just so happens to also be the theorist... but what if...

WHAT IF!!! Luke didn’t!! plan this?!!!

Listen i know you’re probably thinking:

“Well uh Nicole, isn’t that kinda the whole point? It literally wasn’t planned until Charlie realized Madi was gonna be standing on the piano so he suggested the idea for the guitar solo to Kenny.”

And you’re right! But here’s the kicker:

What if Luke THE CHARACTER, just decided to do this as an “Alright that’s it! You wanna be like that? Well what if I just hit you with my super awesome radical totally cool wowza guitar skills & make a moment between us? Huh? What do you think about that? Hmm? HMMM???!!!”

He licks his lips & that to me read** like he was nervous (**read rhyming with bed just to clarify) so that means it could’ve been a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment thing.

In the second gif, you can see that Julie’s head is tilted, as if she’s a bit confused, but she’s also delightfully surprised.

Julie is quick to smile and scrunch her nose at Luke, something she does often. It tells Luke his impulsive action garnered a positive response from his favorite girl. Julie also starts to shake her head, but doesn’t go through the motion in full, which means she’s still a bit nervous to let her guard down. This is probably because she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or what he will do next. The lopsided smile mixed with the suave, gliding steps towards her probably brought her back to her daydream lol.

Luke’s happy bc Julie’s no longer ignoring him. He smiles like a GOOBER bc this chump is simping HARD for our Julie. So cute! :’)

Exhibit G

And hear me when I offer this:

What if Luke poofed the guys out???

I know, I know. It’s a bold claim to make. But the boys are special, considering they are a threat to Caleb (3 gay-variant himbos vs. a gay magician that could’ve been on broadway but decided to make some sort of deal with a devil so he just entertains capitalists who most likely sold their souls to get into the hgc which i will probably elaborate on in a future theory so dont do that bc im gonna lmao idc we all have big brains) So it’s not too crazy to think that they could share some ghost powers.

We know Caleb transported the guys during You Got Nothing to Lose. And the guys have left a place at the exact same time on more than one occasion.

And you may be thinking “well what if the guys poofed out to give juke a moment alone together?” And to that I say...

Look at Reggie. He isn’t looking back at Alex like “dude let’s give them some space.”

The timing of him turning around, at least to me, makes me think Reggie was surprised by Luke approaching the piano. (But also he lowkey was waiting for Luke to prove him wrong by doing something to get Julie’s attention so Reggie isn’t mad. Neither is Alex but he doesn’t like being told how or WHEN to ghost) Luke doesn’t even give his bandmates a warning eyebrow quirk, a hand signal, nothing. Reggie turns to Alex like ‘dude what is he DOING?’ And before he can even really convey that, they go *POOF*

This man had a plan and he was gonna do it, so he did. Whether it’s the power of love, they stopped performing, or Reggie and Alex actually poofed out, the odds worked in Luke’s favor so he and Julie could have a super special moment, a moment special enough to make an actual living person (Nick) wonder if a “hologram” has a better chance at connecting with Julie than he does.

Again, regardless of who made them poof or how they poofed, they mf poofed so Luke’s a happy hamster. (Idk it just sounded fitting instead of happy camper lol wait what if someone had 3 pet hamsters and named them alex reggie and luke🥺 someone buy some hamsters and let me be their godmother or their aunt and i’ll love them from afar.) Anyway, Luke’s thriving, flourishing, his crops are going to grow in time for the harvest.

You can see Julie lean back as she turns to see Luke. It’s... almost as if... She. Wasn’t. Expecting. Him. To. Be. There..??

Honey badger Luke bc he DGAF <|:) Bitch, it’s Luke mf Patterson and he’s gonna,, GET! IN! YOUR! FAAAACE!!!

You CANNOT tell me he’s not doing the absolute MOST to try and seduce Miss Juliana Mariposa Rose Molina.

Yes I’m making a headcanon that Julie has TWO middle names and that one of them is the spanish word for butterfly and that the other is her mother’s name. Also yes, I believe (i believe that we’re just one dream away from who we’re– oh, that’s not what we’re doing? okay, sorry!) that Juliana is Julie’s full name.

In this house we love and respect Juliana Mariposa (Dahlia)** Rose Molina

**I’m just putting Dahlia there for fun bc I can. :) Whether I’d consider it a possible middle name of hers depends. Anyway I just thought it was a cute thing to add bc it goes along with the other middle names I gave her *^_^* Also, I feel like I made a post giving a bunch of the characters middle names lemme see if I can find it later)

Ok i’m done this took me basically all day from like 10am until 4:08. I obviously took breaks in between, but not long ones...😶

[luobingmeis]

so im just gonna vent/monologue for a hot second and idc who does or does not read this but we’re just gonna be super chill abt it and not read too deeply into the stuff that i say, so!!!

and if i delete this in the morning, ignore all this!!!

i think the best way to start this post off in general is “i had a bunch of stuff i wanted to vent abt but from the shower to here (total of like 5 minutes) i have forgotten most of it”

which is very on brand bc i don’t remember most things nowadays ajkdjkdskj

anyways tho also shout out to my lack of emotional object permeance bc i have been in such a Not Fun State for X days (bc i dont really remember when this started this week akjdsjkdsjk) and i cannot remember what started it nor can i fully process that i have only been in this state for like A Few Days and not like........................ weeks

but i think that is also due to the fact that i do, in fact, bounce back and forth between “hey things are fine idk why i ever thought they were bad :)” and “hey things are bad idk why i ever thought they were fine :)”

it also doesn’t help that. every day. i am analyzing the complicated relationship i have with my parents. specificaly my mom. and it definitely isn’t fun to think abt.

basically every day i think abt that scene from the breakfast club when they all talk abt how they’re fated to become their parents, no matter how hard they try not to be, and it especially fucks me up when i think abt how much me and my mom are alike, in both the good and the bad, and i’m just like “hmm am i just being a shitty daughter (possible) or do i have to figure out how to fix this (don’t know how) or am i just gonna have to break the chain eventually (upsetting!)”

but that is deeply upsetting to think and talk abt so :^)

and i also think a lot abt how i’m 99% sure ********** runs in our family which i guess i’ll have to deal with eventually even tho it doesn’t really. affect me rn. i guess!

let it be known that i do love my parents very much!! i just. have too many thoughts in my head.

also i get nervous throwing terms around bc im scared of being wrong but i genuinely think i have like. adhd and/or depression and/or anxiety and also i think there’s something messy going on with my empathy which is!! also upsetting!!!!

but tbh i have never been more. like. resistant to treatment in my life than i am right now. so i just deal with all of this in my brain.

also i’m kinda just back into my way of “consume the same media over and over and let it just become my whole personality so i can feel like a normal person” except that makes, like, idk “coming back to reality” a bitch bc i have spent the past?? 24/48 hours feeling like i’m on and off floating through space and time

also ik that this will all probably be over in a couple days, idk maybe even tomorrow!!! but for rn i’m just :^)

also me and my best friend were talking today and he said something like “i think everyone has certain things they do that just make them feel bad” and i kinda just nodded along bc i knew that my answer of “well i basically at this point purposely keep a shitty sleep schedule and, even when i wake up at 11am, i basically don’t let myself eat until 4/5pm bc, besides having some things i probably need to unpack, i also find something terribly grounding in feeling shitty” would Not go over well 

also there is no way i am mentally and emotionally ready to go back to school in september, like i say this every year and i think at this point i just need to accept that i’ve wasted away my college years feeling shitty and i will never get this back!!!! which is. fun.

also i’m doing so many things this semester that i don’t want to do bc apparently i care abt what other people want more than i do. for some stupid reason.

also ngl i’ve come to the realization that sometimes my brain is just not a great place to be akjdkjdskj

also i have to do my thesis this semester and i already feel behind and next semester i’m barely gonna get to see my professors/friends except for like one or two days a week so while a part of me literally does not want to step foot on my campus/in a class room bc i am So Not Ready, i also feel like i’m basically gonna have no support that will be tangible to me 

anyways tho i’ve fully brought taz/dnd back into my life so that is always an upside!! and i mean that unironically, like. when in doubt. taz/dnd will give me my serotonin and fantasy escapism that i crave <3

i feel like i could say more but at this point i’m just tired!!! so, to quote adam parrish, “i want to feel awake when my eyes are open”

[cerastes]

Alright, now that I got some time, a More Complete Update than the other day’s brief one:

HEY PAISANOS, so, I got like two or so months to go before I am gucci. As all of you know, I fucking hate academia so I am happy to almost be done with it for the foreseeable future. I am also not doing more therapy work and have been able to start getting experience in what I want to do, more on the industrial side of things, though I’ll likely end up doing private therapy at some points anyways. Thing is, I’m Good rn.

I’ve stopped drinking! Well, not entirely, but I only drink socially now. No more downing liters and liters of alcohol on the daily. It’s helped me drop a lot of weight, bwahaha.

I got Toasty (my best friend, if you remember him from streams) fully weebified so now we are super watching anime together, it’s been pretty cool introducing him to stuff like Nichibros and Higurashi.

Speaking of? I still fucking love Higurashi dude it’s so good. I rewatched it recently.

Please watch Higurashi, especially season 1, it was made with a budget of three pocket lints but it still bops, it fucking GOES dude. 

Also watch Angel Beats.

AND MADE IN AB--

Speaking of The Japanese Animes, I’ve not been up to date with SHIT my dude, just been watching Oldies I Missed But Are Supposedly Good, like Anohana. Anohana good.

My thesis is going good! Already did the experiment, it went well, just gotta properly analyze the data and I will be ready for my thesis defense in around 2 months! AIMING FOR THAT PERFECT SCORE MY GOOD PROSTITUTES.

Fire Emblem Three Houses is a fucking home run. Golden Deer best route, I fight for Australian Rights while God Shattering Star plays in the background. I name my Male Byleth “Kakashi” and Female Byleth “Marypoppins”.

here’s mymans Lysithea, play Three Houses, pretty fucking primo.

BLOODSTAINED WAS FUCKING GOOD, THENKS, I WAS SCARED MAN, I FEARED IT WOULD BE ANOTHER MIGHTY NO.9 OR YUKEY LAYLAY HIEEEEEE it delivered, IGA still can make a fucking good game, play Bloodstained for the love of fuck play Bloodstained, primo IGAvania experience, you will shit blood from your nostrils due to how damn good it is.

Please look at this smile:

Thanks.

Well shit I dunno what else I gotta talk about specifically, but yeah, I’m not back yet, I’m gonna show up here and there with unspecified frequency to drop a post here and there but I ain’t back BACK yet.

To be frank, I was bedridden for three weeks because I overworked myself into an acute bronquitis, lol, so my doc was like “hey what the fuck man do things you like” and I was like “but I gotta Perform...!” and she was like “you gotta fucking reward yourself or you’ll break down so do things you like” so I was like “ok I’m going to unleash a chastity belt post on tumblr” and here we are! So yeah remember to take breaks instead of not taking breaks because if you don’t take breaks, you break.

SO yeah just give me two months and we can fuck around again like the good ol’ times of 2018 and prior.

[fineline-live]

Never Be • lrh

Title: Never Be

Reader Pairing: Y/N and Luke

Rating: eh it’s fluff just bc i need some Lu fluff rn

WARNINGS: mention of panic attack, description of panic attack

Description: Luke never realized how loud he kept his guitar and microphone amps until he heard a girl humming a song about herself.

For the past 18 years I’ve looked out the same window in my room to see that tan garage, the same four boys growing up while walking in and out of it. It was my neighbor Luke’s house, his three friends having grown up hanging out with him. We were all for the most part the same age, their friend Ashton being the oldest by a year or two. The garage was Luke’s bedroom, his parents fitting it to look nicer but also withhold all the noise of the instruments he would play. Luke and I were considered best friends, having grown up together. When we were younger we’d always play outside together, and as we got older we’d settle for smaller things like a movie night or even just a video game filled sleep over. Now as we both reached the age of 18, the quiff haired boy started to become more reserved, only really ever letting one person come over anymore, and that was Michael, myself getting demoted from bestest friend to even just acquaintance.

I watched as the red haired boy pulled up in his shitty broken down truck, getting out and walked in through the garage door. I eventually just shut my curtains, irritated that I wasn’t the one getting to go over and talk to Luke about his day. It’s been months since we even had a movie night, which is rare considering we’d have one at least twice a week. I turned back to my notebook, doodling the smallest things, writing words in fancy fonts, doing anything that could get my mind off of my evergrowing loneliness. I heard Michael’s truck door slam and couldn’t help but look out the window to see him get back in his truck and drive off. He was only with Luke for a good five minutes, leaving me to wonder why he left so quick. I shrugged and went back to doodling, soon hearing the sound of an amp being loudly plugged in. It was probably just Luke setting up his guitar for something.

It was a couple minutes until I started to hear the strumming of chords. I set my pencil down and opened up my window so I could hear better, something Id always do when Luke would play something. The song he started to play didn’t sound familiar though. Usually he would play some type of cover, but I couldn’t pick out what this was. He started to sing along, his voice soft with the music. I pulled up my desk chair next to the window and just sat there for what felt like hours, Luke playing the same song over and over again, perfecting his rhythm and his tone. He eventually stopped playing, leaving me to open my eyes and collect my surroundings, having had sat for so long. I turned back and grabbed my pencil and notebook from my bed and write down what lyrics I could remember from Luke singing.

“I need your love to light up this house,

I wanna know what you’re all about,

I wanna feel you feel you(?) all night

I need to tell you that it’s alright (?) you look fine (?)

....

We’ll never be as young as we are now

It’s time to leave this old black and white town

Let’s seize the day, Let’s run away, Don’t let the colours fade to grey

We’ll never be as young as we are now

As young as we are now”

It was all I could remember, just pieces of what I thought were the words. The tune was stuck in my head though, the chorus sticking out most to me. I had finished writing down parts of it when I heard the garage door slam, Luke trudging out while looking at his phone. He looked the same as he always had. Tall, lanky, pale, quiffed blonde hair, black skinny jeans, and a pair of vans. He hasn’t changed at all in demeanor, so part of me still questioned why he pushed me away so much. I just shrugged, having already dealt with the hurt in the past, not caring enough to go through it again. I closed my window so I wouldn’t have to hear anything. There was a knock on my door, my mum opening it to reveal the sounds of chattering down the hall towards the kitchen. “Foods done.” Was all she said, shutting the door and walking back down the hall. I sighed, wondering who she invited over now, and tightened my arms around my sweater, the autumn weather causing a breeze throughout the house.

I walked down the hall, voices laughing and talking about several different subjects. While walking around the corner I peeked my head to see who was here before taking a deep breath. My feet had already carried me to far to back up, my hands beginning to shake. Liz was here with Celeste, Jack’s girlfriend, talking to my mum about something. Andy, Jack, and my father all having a conversation about a new surf line that Rip Curl came out with. And then there was Luke who just walked in, standing awkwardly in the corner, nodding along to things his dad said. That’s why he finally came out of his room. Liz was the first to notice my appearance, becoming overly excited and loud. “Y/N, sweetheart! How are you?” She walked over for a welcoming hug, squeezing me tight, Celeste doing the same after. “I’m good!”

I walked over towards Jack, giving him a tight side hug. “Hey, dude,” He laughed, hugging tighter. “Wassup, dude.” We both chuckled, Jack keeping his arm around me as they continued talking. Andy reached his hand out for a fist bump, smiling at me as my dad brought up dinner. “Dinner is done if everyone wants to grab a plate!” Everyone smiled at each other, walking to the kitchen island to get a plate. I turned back to look at Luke, a frown on his face as he watched me walk away. I gave him a half assed smile, him not even bothering to return it. I rolled my eyes and turned around, getting my plate of food and following everyone to the larger table we had for when guests were over. We all sat down, Luke ending up in the last spot which happened to be next to me, even though I talked to Jack the whole time.

When we finished eating, everyone sat around the table still talking. I pulled out my phone, scrolling through it as Luke was doing, and without realizing started to hum a tune in my head. I couldn’t figure it out so I just kept repeating it over and over, trying to remember what song it was. Luke had looked up from his phone at me, analyzing the song and his eyes going wide when he heard it. I noticed my phone was about to die, so I got up and walked towards my room to plug it in. As I was plugging in my phone, I didn’t notice Luke walk in behind me until I heard him close my door. “Jesus, Luke.” I held my hand to my chest to try to steady my breathing. “How do you know that song?” His voice was low, almost terrified. I set my phone down on the windowsill and shrugged. “Calm down, mate. You play it all the time.”

His eyes went wider if possible. “You hear me play it?” I nodded my head, not getting why he was so worked up over this. “D-Do you know the words to it?” I shrugged again. “Some of them. It’s kinda hard to hear you through the garage walls, but I can pick some of the words out.” His hands flew to his face, covering it and sitting on the edge of my bed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. This cannot be happening.” I looked at him confused, wondering what he was so upset over. “What?” He shook his head, rubbing his eyes and taking deep breaths. “You can’t fucking walk in here and make a big deal over a fucking song when you don’t talk to me for five months, Luke. That’s not how this works.” I crossed my arms against my chest as he slipped himself down to the floor from the bed. His shoulders started heaving, and his hands kept rubbing at his eyes and covering his face. From all the years I knew Luke, I knew what the symptoms were.

I crawled down to my knees, making my way over to his shaking body. He made gasps for air as he rubbed his eyes, trying to get out of the headspace he was in. “You’re okay, Luke. You’re okay. I’m right here, I promise.” I knew unless Luke initiated it, touching him would only make it worse, so I kept my hands to myself. I kept talking to him softly. “Lu, breathe, love. You’re okay.” One of his hands left his face, reaching out to grab one of mine, trying to tell me he needed me close. I scooted closer to him, wrapping my arm around him and trailing my hand up and down his back. I rubbed softly as he tried to call himself down, his breathing still erratic. “Let’s count, Lu. Up to five and then we’ll hold our breath for five more seconds. Can you do that?” I started counting, having to restart every few seconds due to Luke not being able to gain any composure. I knew I’d have to be patient with him, so I just kept starting over, giving him any opportunity to join. His breathing started to slow, choked words finding their way out. “O-One, two, three, f-four, five.” He held his breath, counting to five again. We repeated the process together a few more times until Luke could fully regain his breathing, his face not as red as he was. I pulled him into me, continuing to rub his back, his shoulders shaking every once in awhile from a staggered breath.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” I asked softly. He took another deep breath, nuzzling his face further into my neck. “The songs called Never Be.” I nodded my head, waiting to hear what else he has to say. “I-It’s about, about loving someone and being stuck in a small sh-shitty ass town like th-this.” I rubbed his back softer, leaning my head against his. “Did you write it for someone?” His breath choked in his throat, his body starting to shake. “I cant tell you that.” “That’s okay! It’s okay, Lu. You don’t have to tell me anything else if you don’t want to.” I whispered. He took a shaky breath, exhaling against my neck. “You’ll think I’m crazy if I tell you who it’s about. Especially after how I’ve treated them lately.” My mind started to race, thinking of anyone it could be about. He hasn’t had any girls over in the last couple of months, so I was left confused. “Try me,” I offered.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. I craned my neck and looked down at him. “For what?” He shook his head with a sad smile. “For just going MIA on you. Just fucking leaving you to fend for yourself. For not being there for you. For being a shitty best friend. Fuck, I’m probably not even your friend anymore after how I treated you.” I sat against my bed on the floor, with Luke leaning against me. My hand rubbing his back, and the other one reaching down and fidgeting with his fingers. “Was it about me?” His breathing got warmer against my neck, his body trying to pull away. “M’ sorry. I shouldn’t have written it.” I pulled him back to look at me, our fingers still awkwardly intertwined. “You said it’s about loving someone? And being stuck in a shitty town?” He nodded his head, staring down at our fingers.

“I got scared,” he whispered. “I knew that if I told you how I was feeling that you’d probably just laugh and tell me to fuck off and stop joking. I tried to push the feelings away, and I figured if I pushed you away, they would go with, and they didn’t, and I fucking cried myself to sleep for the last five months because you’re over here living your live and I’m so in love with you that I start to panic and can’t think straight. And I just got so scared. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never been in love.”

Tears sat in my eyes, tears of confusion, and being overwhelmed, and being in love. I grabbed Luke’s hand tighter, interlocking our fingers for good. He started to ramble again repeating all of his earlier words. “Shut the fuck up, Lu,” I laughed softly. He looked at me confused, wondering what he said wrong. I smiled at him. “The more you talk, the less of a chance I have to kiss you.” His eyes went wide, a blush creeping onto his face as I softly pulled his face in towards mine. His lips were soft and warm, and they felt like something that I didn’t wanna let go of. “So what does this mean?” Luke asked pulling away gently. Our foreheads sat together, our noses bumping, our breaths mixing. I couldn’t help but lean in for another small kiss. When I pulled away I smiled, a small giggle escaping my lips.

“It means pack your shit and get your keys because we’re leaving this shitty ass town.”

[fartandsoul]

im about to reblog a lot of doubt posts because im in a State rn. and this whole post is about doubt and shit so if you’re optimistic about johnlock in tfp don’t read on. if you’re doubting and want to doubt together, send me an ask or a message :)

after tld i think it’s safe for me personally to give up hope for johnlock altogether. i’d rather have no hope and be pleasantly surprised than have some hope left and have it dashed. plus im finding it hard to even muster hope after that episode. like johnlock has barely been foreshadowed at all this season, the casuals would not see it coming, and they still have to tie up euros and the fuckery of tst/tld. there’s very little room/time for anything johnlock

maybe mofftiss were telling the truth when they said john and sherlock would never get together on their show. maybe we’ve been queerbaited this whole time. maybe all our theories and readings of the show really are wrong. maybe we’ve been reaching. 

i think we should be right based on what the narrative has told us. i think it makes the most sense to give us canon johnlock in the end. but that doesnt mean the writers are gonna do that, and in the end it’s out of our control. we should be right but i dont think we are.

this season has disappointed me so far. the writing seems different. the johnlock is...not really there? the only thing i really love is sherlock’s characterization. he’s even more vulnerable and amazing than we thought after s3. but it seems to me that all of tfp is gonna be about the holmes family and sherlock’s past, finding out what happened with euros, maybe if we’re lucky an explanation of tst. the only hope i can see for johnlock is if sherlock comes to terms with his past and then realizes john loves him back. that’s the only way in my view. i think it could still happen in s5 depending on what goes down next week. i’ll decide whether i want to hold out hope for that after i see tfp. 

i have a lot of feelings about it already but mostly im just sad. im sad in advance for everyone on my dash who was so excited to see representation. im sad for everyone who put so much time into this show only to be possibly queerbaited. im sad that sherlock and john probably wont get this one thing. im sad for everyone who has so much hope right now and might be crushed next week. im sad for what my dash is probably going to look like after tfp -- all of us disappointed, destroyed, consoling each other. im sad for the people who will laugh at us and say we were wrong all along. 

i love this fandom. i love how we throw ourselves into this show and put so much work into our theories and metas and character analysis. i love how much we love our boys (and everyone else too). i love how this show showed a lot of people who they are. i love how people made friends through it. i love how smart we are and how we predicted so much of tab. i love how funny we are. this fandom is like no other i’ve ever been in. no other fandom would analyze every second of a 37 second trailer. i remember when we got the footage of sherlock seeing john in the restaurant right before s3 and we all flipped out. the fandom makes the show even better, it’s what makes so much of this fun. im going to be so sad if we get disappointed in the end.

im sad for myself too. this show got me through a lot and maybe i shouldnt have used it to get me through those things but either way i have such a connection to it. i remember falling in love with these characters and their relationships. its been almost four years with this show. all my other obsessions are over pretty fast but sherlock keeps coming back. theres something special about it. and im so sad to see that possibly going away next week. 

it’s like a constant. of course i care about other things more -- God, my family, my friends, my majors. but sherlock is one of the things i love, one of the things i adore thinking about, analyzing, imagining, expanding on, screaming about. it’s my go-to fandom. my go-to show. i’ve invested countless hours reading meta, watching episodes, reading fic, writing fic, writing meta, and just being excited about a show this amazing. and if they ruin it this season it seems like it’s all going to be wasted. i know scenes and lines so well, by heart even, i know these characters so well. like old friends. and all my time and energy and emotional investment could just be for nothing. 

and i cant really talk about it. most of my friends dont get it, a lot of them dont know about tjlc because i didnt want them to laugh at me if we were wrong. it looks like an obsession with “just a tv show” because it is lol but it is important to me as well. and i can already picture next week. my dash basically in a sad group hug while my friends text me “wow what a great episode!!” and i’ll be in mourning. like really. i will be mourning this show and my love for it. 

sherlock really ruins other media for you. it’s so well-crafted, has so many layers that nothing else really measures up. the characters are so beautifully portrayed that you cant really find anyone else who you love this much. and i wanted to see their love in the end, i wanted to see them happy and together.

i think i’m supposed to learn something from this. dont place this much of your life in a tv show, maybe. trust in God and make Him the focus instead. but it certainly does hurt a lot to learn the lesson. i thought i already went through this with hamilton, and that one hurt. i was absolutely dysfunctional for a week after that. but maybe i didnt really learn from it. it feels like this show is grated onto my heart and it’s being ripped out. 

or maybe we’ll get johnlock. maybe this is the “darkest before the dawn” (i almost typed darkest before the john lmao). a lot of people are really optimistic but it seems like a stretch to me. we are set up for it, if we’re talking about their emotional obstacles, but i really think the “i love you” will be for euros and not for john. maybe s5. if it’s a 5 act play we can hold out hope. maybe.

what sucks is that it’s such a beautiful love story if they went through with it. sherlock literally comes back from the dead for john (twice), what’s more romantic than that? them teaching each other to love and that it’s okay to be broken. it’s so gorgeous. i don’t want that taken away.

i hate being a bit superstitious about this. like by writing this i feel like i’ve destroyed the possibility. i want to say im hopeless but i feel like that means it wont happen. i want to say it won’t happen but i feel like that’s setting it in stone. it’s dumb because they’ve got it all filmed and i really couldn’t change anything but here we are lol.

this got really long, longer than i wanted it to, but i needed to let this all out. i won’t fully give up hope until after tfp, and i’m going to keep reblogging tjlc theories and metas with the hope that they’ll come true. but right now i’m pretty pessimistic. i’d love to be proven wrong. #LetsHopeWereWrong2k17 

[cassandradodds]

NSAIDs Linked to Increased Risk of Heart Attack, Study Suggests

Ibuprofen, Other Common Painkillers May be Associated with Heart Risk

Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) such as ibuprofen are commonly used as over-the-counter painkillers. A new study, published in the March 2017 issue of the European Heart Journal-Cardiovascular Pharmacotherapy, found that these medications may be associated with an increased risk of heart attack. Researchers found that taking drug such as ibuprofen may be associated with a 31 percent increased risk.

The personal injury attorneys at Parker Waichman LLP have decades of experience representing clients in drug injury litigation. The firm continues to offer free legal consultations to individuals with questions about filing a drug injury lawsuit.

Professor Gunnar H. Gislason, professor of cardiology at Copenhagen University Hospital Gentofte, Denmark, authored the study. “Allowing these drugs to be purchased without a prescription, and without any advice or restrictions, sends a message to the public that they must be safe,” he commented in a Mar. 15, 2017 news release. “Previous studies have shown that NSAIDs are related to increased cardiovascular risk which is a concern because they are widely used.”

The Danish study analyzed data from nearly 30,000 patients who suffered a heart attack outside of the hospital from 2000 and 2010. Authors gathered data using the Danish Cardiac Arrest Registry. The researchers also analyzed NSAID prescriptions filled at Danish pharmacies since 1995.

Time reports that Advil (ibuprofen) and Aleve (naproxen) are over-the-counter drugs in the United States; in Denmark, however, the only NSAID available OTC is ibuprofen. The study found that ibuprofen and diclofenac were the most commonly used NSAIDs among patients with heart attacks.

The study found that diclofenac and prescription-strength ibuprofen were associated with a 50 percent and 31 percent increased risk of cardiac arrest, respectively.

“The findings are a stark reminder that NSAIDs are not harmless,” said Professor Gislason, according to the release. “Diclofenac and ibuprofen, both commonly used drugs, were associated with significantly increased risk of cardiac arrest. NSAIDs should be used with caution and for a valid indication. They should probably be avoided in patients with cardiovascular disease or many cardiovascular risk factors.”

The researcher says that these medications should be taken with caution, as they are not without risks. He notes that just because a drug is available OTC, does not necessarily mean it is safe for every patient. “The current message being sent to the public about NSAIDs is wrong. If you can buy these drugs in a convenience store then you probably think ‘they must be safe for me’. Our study adds to the evidence about the adverse cardiovascular effects of NSAIDs and confirms that they should be taken seriously, and used only after consulting a healthcare professional,” he said.

“I don’t think these drugs should be sold in supermarkets or petrol stations where there is no professional advice on how to use them. Over-the-counter NSAIDs should only be available at pharmacies, in limited quantities, and in low doses.”

In 2015, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) strengthened the label on non-aspirin NSAIDs to warn about the risk of heart attack and stroke. Prior to the update, the warning on NSAIDs (aside from aspirin) disclosed a risk of stroke and heart attack. The updated warning says that patients may be subject to an increased risk as early as the first weeks of use. The risk may be higher with increasing duration or higher dosage.

Other Studies Examine NSAID Adverse Events

Parker Waichman notes that other studies have assessed potential adverse events associated with the use of NSAIDs. For example, a recent study published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute found that use of NSAIDs may be associated with an increased risk of dying from Type 1 endometrial cancer.

Researchers analyzed data from over 4,000 patients and found that regularly taking NSAIDs was linked to a 66 percent increased risk of dying from Type 1 endometrial cancers.

“There is a increasing evidence that chronic inflammation is involved in endometrial cancer and progression and recent data suggests that inhibition of inflammation through NSAID use plays a role,” said co-lead author Theodore Brasky, PhD, according to the release. “This study identifies a clear association that merits additional research to help us fully understand the biologic mechanisms behind this phenomenon. Our finding was surprising because it goes against previous studies that suggest NSAIDs can be used to reduce inflammation and reduce the risk of developing or dying from certain cancers, like colorectal cancer.”

Another article, published in American Association of Critical-Care Nurses (AACN) Advanced Critical Care, found that Tylenol (acetaminophen) was the drug most commonly associated with cases of drug-induced liver injury. Tylenol was linked to 46 percent of acute liver failure cases, the article said. According to the authors, patients may take more Tylenol than necessary because it is available OTC. Additionally, patients may not realize that acetaminophen is also present in other OTC drugs that combine different medications.

“The liver helps remove toxins, which makes it especially vulnerable to injury from either short-term intake above recommended levels or long-term usage that allows toxins to build up,” said author Angela Collins-Yoder, RN, PhD, CCNS, ACNS-BC, clinical professor, University of Alabama Capstone College of Nursing, Tuscaloosa, and critical care nurse specialist, Sacred Heart Pensacola Hospital, Pensacola, Florida. “Recognizing the clinical signs and symptoms is crucial to prompt treatment and effective patient care.”

In terms of litigation, a multidistrict litigation (MDL) has been established for Tylenol liver failure lawsuits. Plaintiffs allege that Tylenol caused liver failure and that McNeil-PPC and parent company Johnson & Johnson failed to warn of the risks.

Filing a Drug Injury Lawsuit

Parker Waichman is a national personal injury law firm that represents clients in drug and medical device injury lawsuits. Our goal is to ensure patient safety and hold manufacturers liable in situations where they failed to warn patients and physicians about the risks associated with a drug or medical device. Misrepresenting the safety of a medical product puts patients at risk. If you or someone you know suffered a drug or medical device injury and want to learn more about filing a personal injury lawsuit, contact our firm today by filling out our online form or calling 1-800-YOURLAWYER (1-800-968-7529).

from Parker Waichman http://www.yourlawyer.com/blog/nsaids-linked-increased-risk-heart-attack-study-suggests/

from WordPress https://parkerwaichman.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/nsaids-linked-to-increased-risk-of-heart-attack-study-suggests/

[parkerwaichmanlaw]

NSAIDs Linked to Increased Risk of Heart Attack, Study Suggests

Ibuprofen, Other Common Painkillers May be Associated with Heart Risk

Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) such as ibuprofen are commonly used as over-the-counter painkillers. A new study, published in the March 2017 issue of the European Heart Journal-Cardiovascular Pharmacotherapy, found that these medications may be associated with an increased risk of heart attack. Researchers found that taking drug such as ibuprofen may be associated with a 31 percent increased risk.

The personal injury attorneys at Parker Waichman LLP have decades of experience representing clients in drug injury litigation. The firm continues to offer free legal consultations to individuals with questions about filing a drug injury lawsuit.

Professor Gunnar H. Gislason, professor of cardiology at Copenhagen University Hospital Gentofte, Denmark, authored the study. “Allowing these drugs to be purchased without a prescription, and without any advice or restrictions, sends a message to the public that they must be safe,” he commented in a Mar. 15, 2017 news release. “Previous studies have shown that NSAIDs are related to increased cardiovascular risk which is a concern because they are widely used.”

The Danish study analyzed data from nearly 30,000 patients who suffered a heart attack outside of the hospital from 2000 and 2010. Authors gathered data using the Danish Cardiac Arrest Registry. The researchers also analyzed NSAID prescriptions filled at Danish pharmacies since 1995.

Time reports that Advil (ibuprofen) and Aleve (naproxen) are over-the-counter drugs in the United States; in Denmark, however, the only NSAID available OTC is ibuprofen. The study found that ibuprofen and diclofenac were the most commonly used NSAIDs among patients with heart attacks.

The study found that diclofenac and prescription-strength ibuprofen were associated with a 50 percent and 31 percent increased risk of cardiac arrest, respectively.

“The findings are a stark reminder that NSAIDs are not harmless,” said Professor Gislason, according to the release. “Diclofenac and ibuprofen, both commonly used drugs, were associated with significantly increased risk of cardiac arrest. NSAIDs should be used with caution and for a valid indication. They should probably be avoided in patients with cardiovascular disease or many cardiovascular risk factors.”

The researcher says that these medications should be taken with caution, as they are not without risks. He notes that just because a drug is available OTC, does not necessarily mean it is safe for every patient. “The current message being sent to the public about NSAIDs is wrong. If you can buy these drugs in a convenience store then you probably think ‘they must be safe for me’. Our study adds to the evidence about the adverse cardiovascular effects of NSAIDs and confirms that they should be taken seriously, and used only after consulting a healthcare professional,” he said.

“I don’t think these drugs should be sold in supermarkets or petrol stations where there is no professional advice on how to use them. Over-the-counter NSAIDs should only be available at pharmacies, in limited quantities, and in low doses.”

In 2015, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) strengthened the label on non-aspirin NSAIDs to warn about the risk of heart attack and stroke. Prior to the update, the warning on NSAIDs (aside from aspirin) disclosed a risk of stroke and heart attack. The updated warning says that patients may be subject to an increased risk as early as the first weeks of use. The risk may be higher with increasing duration or higher dosage.

Other Studies Examine NSAID Adverse Events

Parker Waichman notes that other studies have assessed potential adverse events associated with the use of NSAIDs. For example, a recent study published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute found that use of NSAIDs may be associated with an increased risk of dying from Type 1 endometrial cancer.

Researchers analyzed data from over 4,000 patients and found that regularly taking NSAIDs was linked to a 66 percent increased risk of dying from Type 1 endometrial cancers.

“There is a increasing evidence that chronic inflammation is involved in endometrial cancer and progression and recent data suggests that inhibition of inflammation through NSAID use plays a role,” said co-lead author Theodore Brasky, PhD, according to the release. “This study identifies a clear association that merits additional research to help us fully understand the biologic mechanisms behind this phenomenon. Our finding was surprising because it goes against previous studies that suggest NSAIDs can be used to reduce inflammation and reduce the risk of developing or dying from certain cancers, like colorectal cancer.”

Another article, published in American Association of Critical-Care Nurses (AACN) Advanced Critical Care, found that Tylenol (acetaminophen) was the drug most commonly associated with cases of drug-induced liver injury. Tylenol was linked to 46 percent of acute liver failure cases, the article said. According to the authors, patients may take more Tylenol than necessary because it is available OTC. Additionally, patients may not realize that acetaminophen is also present in other OTC drugs that combine different medications.

“The liver helps remove toxins, which makes it especially vulnerable to injury from either short-term intake above recommended levels or long-term usage that allows toxins to build up,” said author Angela Collins-Yoder, RN, PhD, CCNS, ACNS-BC, clinical professor, University of Alabama Capstone College of Nursing, Tuscaloosa, and critical care nurse specialist, Sacred Heart Pensacola Hospital, Pensacola, Florida. “Recognizing the clinical signs and symptoms is crucial to prompt treatment and effective patient care.”

In terms of litigation, a multidistrict litigation (MDL) has been established for Tylenol liver failure lawsuits. Plaintiffs allege that Tylenol caused liver failure and that McNeil-PPC and parent company Johnson & Johnson failed to warn of the risks.

Filing a Drug Injury Lawsuit

Parker Waichman is a national personal injury law firm that represents clients in drug and medical device injury lawsuits. Our goal is to ensure patient safety and hold manufacturers liable in situations where they failed to warn patients and physicians about the risks associated with a drug or medical device. Misrepresenting the safety of a medical product puts patients at risk. If you or someone you know suffered a drug or medical device injury and want to learn more about filing a personal injury lawsuit, contact our firm today by filling out our online form or calling 1-800-YOURLAWYER (1-800-968-7529).

from Parker Waichman http://www.yourlawyer.com/blog/nsaids-linked-increased-risk-heart-attack-study-suggests/