#I don’t have a consistent ritualized practice (because I lack discipline) but it’s often on my mind

[king0fcrows]

.

[averycanadianfilm]

READING GUIDE TO : Bourdieu, P. and Passeron, J.C. (1979) The Inheritors: French students and their relation to culture, Chicago: University of Chicago Press. - Dave Harris

Chapter one

Class chance data is presented for France, covering access to university and also choice of subjects.  Generally, Arts and Sciences are preferred for lower class applicants, while the other professions attract upper class students.  Gender is magnified by class in terms of access, especially for lower class students, and a strong influence on subject choice throughout.  However, some Arts students are also relegated from the upper class: for them, arts subjects are a refuge.

There are therefore economic and cultural obstacles to success at the university.  These include religion and age [in France, the older students are often those who have had to repeat grades].

Social origins produce different rates of financial provision, affect where people live, and affect the sort of work they do.  For example, they influence the amount of parental subsidy.

As a result, students do not really have a common situation or experience.  They come from very different cultural backgrounds, and quite different experiences from being at home or feeling out of place (13).  They experience differential success according to their 'previously acquired intellectual tools, cultural habits' (14).  Particularly important is their ability to manipulate 'the abstract language of ideas', which is much easier if you have done Greek or Latin.  Cultural heritage is also amplified by various scholastic streams and channels, which produce 'sanctions which consecrate social inequalities' (14).  For some, their educational past is a definite handicap, including the absence of classical languages or adequate advice on careers.

These inequalities are concealed by their belief that some students possess 'gifts', producing a disdain for practical techniques of study noted below.  University life tends to be eclectic and dilettante, mostly because bourgeois students are 'more assured of their vocations or their abilities' (15).  Those from other origins are far more dependent on the university.  For the bourgeois, a liking for 'intellectual exoticism and formalistic purity' helps 'liquidate a bourgeois experience while expressing it' (15).  Detachment and a willingness to take risks 'presupposes a greater security’ (15).  Self assurance pays off in exams, especially in orals [presentations?].  This stance is helped by universities themselves who value 'remaining aloof from "academic" values and disciplines' (17).

Bourgeois students inherit 'habits, skills and attitudes…  knowledge and know how, tastes and a "good taste"'(17), which do pay off even if indirectly.  A suitable extracurricular culture is the 'implicit condition for academic success in certain disciplines'(17), for example coming from a family with experiences in the theatre, art galleries, concerts, knowledge of modern works even jazz or the cinema.  These experiences display a combination of cultural and economic factors here [and strongly prefigures the work in Distinction, even with some initial survey data].  The absence of explicit instruction in universities makes this cultural influence more important.  Influences are often subtle, for example in the displaying of knowledge of the past in the effortless reproduction of academic argument.  Interests are often combined, enabling those from suitable backgrounds to distinguish themselves from those possessing purely scholastic knowledge.  There is a  whole constellation of knowledge to draw upon.  There also important personal qualities such as 'ironic casualness, mannered elegance, or…  assurance which lends ease or the affectation of ease' (20).  [So common among the English upper classes as well].

This sort of cultural background works indirectly, casually and informally, it seems effortless, acquired by osmosis [some nice examples on page 20—like the casual disclosure of cultural interests, 'acquired without intention or effort'].  Those from lower and middle class backgrounds try to catch up at university, for examples by going to film clubs.  Schools could compensate, but they also tend to ignore social inequalities and devalue 'the vulgar mark of effort' (21). Thus universities offer only a misleading formal equality, and ignore marked social differences, whole areas which are clearly related to success.  Teaching presupposes a level of knowledge, skills and culture which are the 'heritage of the cultivated classes' (21).  

Secondary school uses a number of secondary significations which take for granted 'the whole treasury of first degree experiences��—books, entertainment, holidays as 'cultural pilgrimages', and 'allusive conversations' (22).  The universal nature of education simply means all must enter.  Working-class children can only imitate, and the whole experience for them is unreal.

Access needs to be not just a matter of economic background.  'Ability' should not be seen as a matter of a gift but the result of 'affinities between class cultural habits and the demands of the education system' (22).  Knowledge and techniques are inseparable from social values.  Some working-class students are willing to undertake university experience because they see academic knowledge as high status, and it 'symbolises entry into the elite' (22).  However, social mobility via education is 'a fantasy, and abstraction for [most] manual workers' (23).  Their ambitions are lower: they make an objective adjustment.  The petty bourgeoisie are the most keen on education, and they openly support elite culture even though they find it just as difficult to acquire: they think they can make up the deficit with hard work.

Teacher judgments are ultimately based on the closeness to elite culture.  Teachers classically devalue other approaches such as seriousness and hard work.  Social advantages and disadvantages are cumulative as a result.  Even geographical location is important because living in a city means greater access to cultural facilities.

There is no mechanical determinism here, though, since inheritance is not always successful.  Upper class culture can merely lead to the  'superficial pastime of elegant parlor games' (25), but usually it is exploited to find a comfortable way through an education system.  It is true that working-class entrants to university can gain in ambition and determination.  However, those who succeed nearly always have some kind of unusual family background like a successful relative, who will raise their ambitions and reject fatalism. [In conventional research as well as in policy and common sense] isolated factors are seen as important [instead of seeing qualifying factors as well].

It is more common to persuade the underprivileged to drop out rather than to exert a direct influence on them, or to reveal open determinism.  It would be wrong to attribute all the blame to economic or political factors, but social mechanisms work well despite minor adjustments such as scholarships.  Indeed, these minor reforms can help to justify the system by locating 'giftedness’ as the issue.  The same goes for moves to equalise the economic circumstances of students  [grants?]—they would only legitimise a system which itself legitimises privilege.

Chapter two

There is no unified student world or culture, but a constant flux with only periodic routine.  There are cycles of study leading to exams, but it is a unique time of life where normal oppositions do not apply,  including the opposition between work and leisure [lots of quotes on page 30 from students saying that they regard their work as a form of leisure:

'It's the only time in life when you can put off what you've got to do, work when it suits you, be unemployed if you feel like it…  (Senior executive' son, Paris, aged 26)…  There's no such thing as leisure: I refuse to draw a line between work and leisure, I don't accept that dichotomy…  (Junior executive son, Paris)…  My work isn't unpleasant; it's not something I'm forced to do.  I could almost say all my work is in leisure…  (A junior executive son, Paris)…  I don't separate work and leisure.  If there's a decent movie on I go and see it, whether it's a weekday or a Sunday.  The question really doesn't arise.  There is no particular pattern to my leisure activities; I choose what I'm going to do but I don't organise it…  There's nothing fixed (senior executives daughter, Paris)' (30).

However…

'Yes I waste a terrible amount of time; I don't know how to organize my work properly, and, since workhouse to come by for leisure…  I have no time left for leisure (senior executives some, Paris).  The fact is I don't seem able to discipline myself, it's always the same story (senior executive's son, Paris)'.  NB Bourdieu and Passeron see this as an aristocratic form of lifestyle.

There is a characteristic student lifestyle with a lack of discipline and a ‘libertarian use of “free time”’ (31).  Students are individualised, despite occasional ‘islands of integration’ (32).  Integration has no institutional basis.  It is therefore not easy to organise collective work, or cooperation, or small workgroups.  Individualistic competition persists instead.  The old traditions like student festivals and songs are in decline, and there are not even initiation rituals, except possibly in Law and Medicine.  There are no real social divisions or any bases for solidarity—for example the rivalry between different disciplines or other signs of the persistence of sub cultures, including argot. Students are not even well connected through friendship groups, except where these depend on earlier shared schooling or regional identity.  Upper class students are the most integrated socially.  Friends’ advice is not sought in the choice of a subject or career, rumours spread but not information.  

The student milieu is therefore not autonomised, but consists of a ‘fluid aggregate [rather] than an occupational group’ (36).There is a nostalgia for integration, but actual organisation fails. Girls are the keenest to initiate collective activity, following the ‘characteristics of the woman’s traditional role’ (36).  Staff participation helps.  The most common result of this lack of organisation is resignation or utopianism, especially in Paris students’ activism, which includes ‘conceptual terrorism of verbal demands’ (37).  A belief in cooperative work, small groups and so on persists, but as the projection of an ideal.

Yet such projections reveal an underlying objective reality [by contrast].  Students want to identify individually with this mythical unity.  Characteristic student behaviours are ‘symbolic’ indicators of this project.  'Student' is therefore a chosen identity, the rejection of past identities, including those associated with the occupation of one’s parents, part of a general denial of class determinism [but not gender?].  It is important to not conform, to distinguish oneself while labelling others.  This is another example of the transformation of necessity into freedom (39) [so it is not just the working classes who have to do this?] Student identity means the rejection of any actual bonding.  For example cafes are frequented because there, one encounters the ‘archetypal student’ [rather as students went to the library in Lille to conform to the archetypal student, in Academic Discourse].

Students live out their relations to their class of origin according to ‘the models of the intellectual class reinterpreted’ (40).  They display a reaction to the discipline of the secondary school.  By comparison, student identity is a sign of ‘cultural free will’ (40).  Guidance from older students is important here, and prestigious examples can include university teachers.  Everyone knows a high prestige professor who is far from being a mere pedagogue.  This only disguises power relations.

The university is still a very important influence, though.  Students still do well if they are ‘adapted to the university and can transpose its scholastic techniques and interests’ (41).  So called alternative cultural worlds,  based around jazz or cinema actually complement the university world [is this still the same with contemporary universities and contemporary commercial popular culture?].  [There is a hint of the cultural omnivore thesis here, 41].  Students’ public denial of the importance of university culture and teaching disguises the real influence at work through the ‘cultural goods market’ (42).  

An important role in actually orienting the tastes of students is played by ‘Professorial charisma…  The display of virtuosity, the play of laudatory allusions or depreciatory silences’ (42).  Students are passive and willing to be taught, or to let teachers guide them.  So close is the connection that ‘the study of consumption can be collapsed into a study of production’ (42).  University culture includes ‘the scholastic consecration of novelties’ (43).  As a result, university culture is more homogenous than it looks [in support, student prize winners are given as examples, revealing their conformist tastes, even if those cover the avant garde].  The ideal student is still a homo academicus, often the son and grandson of teachers, often wanting to be a philosophy lecturer, often showing some precocious talents.  The university therefore ‘always preaches to the converted’ (43).

However, some students are only playing at having intellectual tastes, displaying  ‘collective bad faith’, or deploying the  ‘ruse of reason’ (44).  An illusory intellectual life is possible.  It usually involves ignoring social origins and destinations, and ‘autonomising the present of studenthood’ (44).  It involves games and tricks, and is assisted by the ‘unreality of university practice’ (44), where there are no real sanctions, and even examinations are playful rather than work-like.  Students do feel insecure, and lecturers do judge their work, but there is a constant ambivalence—for example students and lecturers commonly joke about examinations and yet still see them as a matter of ‘personal salvation’ (45) especially the dissertation.  It is a very involving game.  Even the student challenges are within the rules of the intellectual game of contestation: thus ‘Revolts against the system…  achieve…  the ultimate ends pursued by the university’ (45) [reads pretty much like Willis on working class lads rebelling but then ending up in manual work].  Even student rebels worship culture if not the university.  Bohemian behaviour still equates to obedience to traditional models.  Any escape into popular culture is still characterised as a form of literary discussion.

This is especially marked in the Paris Arts Faculty.  Students are mostly bourgeois, but commonly deny their background and espouse left wing causes, but without adopting any particular orthodoxy or party membership.  Instead, they adopt new labels.  They have a mostly aesthetic commitment to an avant garde, which leads to a ‘conformism of anti conformism’ (46).  Rebellion is little more than the ‘symbolic breaks of adolescence’ seen as an ‘intellectual self realisation’ (46).  Any sexual liberation pursued by women can be seen simply as a formal reversal of the value of virginity.  Extreme political views are best read as a symbolic break with the family.  Symbolic differences are more important than the real differences provided by social origin.  Student radical life features endless argument to establish differentiations within the general consensus of the avant garde.  Concrete commitments tend to be applauded.  Political debate is seen as a kind of play, and is work.  Politics becomes a pastime.  In reality, it is wealth and privilege that enables intellectual detachment, intellectual mastery, and political audacity.  Privileged students are also better able to accumulate a ‘capital of information’, based on their membership of literary and philosophical political coteries, and the ability to attend lots of outside lectures and assemblies [in Paris] (49).  Any diversity in the academic world produces the relativisation of professorial privilege [not enough to lead to serious criticism?] , and the opportunity for more intellectual adventure.

University life becomes an excellent preparation for the later literary games played among the Parisian bourgeoisie, and wider philosophical discussion, for example of the crisis in education, shows the ‘beginners’ illusion [masquerading as a] basis for a universal reflection’ (15).  There is still a lot of studentanxiety however, and here, ideological debates offer assurance.  A liking for student [revolutionary?] festivity is really a form of symbolic integration.

The ideal type Parisian Arts student draws from a literary education and from the cultural opportunities offered by Paris, and the ‘risk free freedom that a well to do social origin makes possible’ (51).  Bourgeois students see university life as intellectual adventure, not as ‘an apprenticeship subject to the test of occupational success’ (51).

There are more working-class students now, but bourgeois values persist: those values ‘will not cease to be regarded as inseparable from the [student] milieu’ (51).  Nevertheless, modern students can perceive university teaching as somehow unreal, possibly because they have experience of real occupations. Thus actual students will vary according to their commitment to the ideal type, and this will vary according to their social origins.  ‘Serious’ students can be both critics of this unreality, and still prepared to consider only university problems as serious.

[What a condemnation of student activists!  I do recognise the posturing bourgeois type from my own experiences during the student revolt at LSE, and, later at Essex, and I know exactly what they mean by the insistence on preserving literary forms of argument while discussing radical overhauls.  During one sit in at LSE, friends made it their business to guard the library!  Proles werestill mocked for their vulgarity. Several dreadful poseurs made fiery speeches proposing solidarity with the north Vietnamese army, and then fled at the prospect of being arrested by the metropolitan police!  However, I think they do underestimate the impact on some working class lads such as myself, who did gain an insight into professorial incompetence that led to a lifetime’s scepticism.  Nevertheless, I think they are broadly right.  Interestingly, the ideal type bourgeois radical manifests itself best in education departments of respectable UK universities, where students are still harangued with idealist and utopian visions, and words like ‘oppression’ or ‘struggle’ are used both to describe third world radical movements and the need to cope with an inconvenient timetable].

Chapter three

[This chapter starts with an astonishing criticism of child centred and play-centred education—by Hegel!  Such an education preserves immaturity, it is indifferent to the intellectual world, and it shows contempt for elders!  (54)]

It is possible to construct an ideal type of rational conduct for student,  based on the claims that characterise university life.  However, the real issue is self-creation, and to be a participant in academic culture.  The rational type will argue that university culture is to be mastered, yet this is denied in practice, and instead there is a goal of independence, the abolition of the distinction between the student and the teacher.  However, this distinction is abolished only in the imagination, without going through the painful process of subjection first [very familiar terminology here!].  Indeed, there is often a straightforward denial of student passivity. This imaginary resolution is satisfactory to students and professors, although denied by both conservatives and revolutionary utopians.  Rational conduct, however would involve seeing passivity as a means to an occupational end.  The denials involve a view that the present should dominate the future, and that the status of student should become more autonomous.

Students occupy pre- constructed roles, like the 'exam hound' or the dilettante.  Life goes on in a magical mode [compare with the notion of magical resolution in gramscian work].  Options can coexist in that world.  The magical world is supported by professors, 'the students'opponents and accomplices' (57).  Professors do not want to appear as having a rational role, as a mere 'teaching auxiliary' (58). The whole experience is therefore mystified or enchanted, and this mystical relation rather than the technical function of education affects the teaching experience.  Professors claim they have some gift in transmitting culture, and this notion of gift is reciprocated by students [very similar arguments are made in Academic Discourse].

Students do vary, however.  The awareness of an occupational destinations seems particularly vague for Arts students, and uncertain for sociologists: these views actually mimic the real possibilities!  There is no occupational point to study for the students, so it is justified instead as an intellectual adventure.  Their values ‘depend on mystified experience' (59).  [There is a hint here that the enchantment of rationalised study is deliberate].  

Women students have more reason to mystify, although for them reality dawns earlier.  They often describe the substantial freedoms involved in using academic work to escape [rather like the stuff I have been quoting from Quinn!].  However, intellectual escape is still associated with the traditional female values, including their desired destinations as teachers, and their lower confidence in their intellectual capacities.  They're still more likely to be instrumental, and to use their 'scholastic zeal and docility as a way of avoiding the question of the future' (61).  Another option is female student apathy.  [Or] female students report high levels of commitment to university life, again echoing traditional female values such as exalting sacrifice, and using words like relationship or enrichment, or talking about the development of personality [lots of examples PP. 61,62].  This can be an alternative to the magical concealment preferred by men.  Female options echo the sexism of the university.

Social origin has effects as well.  There are parallels between working class origins and being female.  Neither are likely to get an intellectual occupation and so they are less likely to invest in the intellectual game approach.  They need to bow to necessity and acknowledge the importance of an occupation.  Upper class students are happier with vague projects, but working-class students are more focused, because they are more aware that they need not have been students at university at all.  Upper class students are more distant, more prone to mystification, more contemptuous of pedagogy and methods, and of scholarly discipline.  They, and many professors, would find any kind of practical instruction about coping with university life—like using a card index for drawing up a bibliography—as demeaning, the act of a 'vulgar schoolmaster' (63).  The same goes for any kind of intellectual training—instead, upper class students and professors prefer the romantic image of free. inspired creation.

Magical perceptions are common.  Professors collude  by denying clear information, such as their criteria, and the techniques necessary to succeed.  Students deny the importance of hard work and routine, and see success arising from a gift or by magic.  This explains their following examination rituals, whether it be feverish last minute revision, or obsessive note taking—'a technique for spiritual consolation' (64) [modern students attend lectures and seminars obsessively, and even complain if they are cancelled—but never take notes!].  There are superstitions, guessing rituals, amulets and fetishes, and the repetition of successful conduct.  Success is seen as a reward for having a gift, including the gift of successful guessing (65).  There is 'overt contempt’ for any rational approach (65).  Professors collude in this too: it is reciprocal—for example the lecture style means that students can enjoy anonymity [and ritual attendance]—and both professors and students oppose rational approaches.

These findings show the ultimate goal of the university system [social reproduction].  The rational approach contradicts these ultimate goals.  Cultural transmission could be rationalised, and it would benefit the most disadvantaged students [more on rational teaching later].

Conclusion

Because real educational inequalities are never discussed, differences are seen as a result of ‘giftedness’ (67).  Differences are tolerated only if they are seen as differences in gifts, or as the occasional social handicap faced by a gifted student.  The lack of talent or enthusiasm in students is never explained.  Formal examinations express a purely formal equality: as they are anonymous it is impossible to see how they reflect cultural inequalities.  The formal policy of equal opportunity only ‘transforms privilege into merit’ (68).  It is impossible to have any other outcome unless serious weight is given to the social origins of students [or value added?].  However, we would then expect unequal terminal performances.  This could lead to a hierarchy of institutions, and the degree overall could be devalued.  Experience in some communist countries might be cited, but even there there is often a tension [between rewarding 'redness' and expertise].  Overall, the roles of the game have to remain unquestioned.  The lack of questioning is shown in the continuing attraction of the grandest institutions and most prestigious disciplines in French universities to all recruits.  The credibility of the system requires that inequalities affecting students from outside the university are ignored.  Insisting on the role of social differences is therefore a challenge to the whole system.

Giftedness is like charisma.  It benefits the privileged and legitimates their contempt for the less privileged.  Working-class students accept this as a kind of essentialism (70), and personalise their disadvantage.  Indeed, working-class students are among those who believe most strongly in the idea of a charismatic gift.  The tendency to reduce to essentialism is common among students because they are already prone to see who they are as what they do.

Teachers also assume their success arises from some personal gift, another essentialism.  Often, the education system has been their only route to success, confirming this essentialism.  It is often linked with the denigration of vulgar effort.

Students are only too willing to accept their status as victims rather than blame ‘clumsy teachers’ (71).  Often their parents are over impressed by teachers' opinions or by the simple scores in educational tests, and are liable to say things like ‘He’s no good at French’, which naturalises inequality.  Student objections to the system are often still couched in [victim vocabulary], and they expect solutions to be provided only by the generosity of teachers.  Populist demands [such as that working-class culture has to be valued alongside elite culture] are also limited, since the dominant system is not just a simple class culture.  Furthermore, academic skills and aptitudes can be learned.

The first requirement is to aim to affect the home environment.  Teachers need to be fully explicit about what is required.  The usual formulae are not enough [superstitions, but also  including routine study skills advice?].  Teachers need to avoid any claims to have professorial charisma, and to develop a rational pedagogy, although this is ‘still to be invented’ (73).  Scientific pedagogy is no good because it ignores social conditions [so a real difference between Bourdieu and the educational technologists here].  We need to evaluate different methods of teaching, modes and actual procedures—for example, should we give general technical advice or close direction of student work?  Efficiency should be seen as related to students' social origins.  We might need constant exercises to build up the skills needed.  At the moment, this is denied by the myth of student autonomy and independent learning (74) which only help legitimates the charismatic teacher myth and see alternatives as pedantry.

Students vacillate between the perceived need for discipline and the myth of the aristocratic stance.  Teachers also vacillate, taking an aristocratic stance until they have to do assessment (75).  Professional judgments in reality are 'based on personal criteria, variable from teacher to teacher and…  tied to the particular case' (75).  Students need to decipher these criteria and try to rationalise them.

Students from upper class origins can adapt to these diffuse requirements, because of a 'clear affinity between school culture and the culture of the cultivated class' (75).  When asked to undertake oral exams, upper class students just demonstrate the skills which are already unconsciously valued [in presentations too?]. Any open recognition of the effects of social origin 'would be regarded as scandalous' (75).

In a rational approach, there would be clarity about the 'reciprocal requirements of teachers and taught…  the organisation of study…  to enable students from the disadvantaged classes to overcome their disadvantages' (75).  [Then a strangely utilitarian remark]: we should permit the 'greatest possible number of individuals to appropriate in the shortest possible time, as completely and perfectly as possible, the greatest number of the abilities which constitute school culture at a given moment' (76).  This approach will be neither traditional nor technical/specialist.  Until we develop it, education cannot overcome inequality.  At the same time, a rational pedagogy is in its turn impossible unless recruitment of teachers and students is democratised.

Epilogue

The middle class demand for university expansion arises from the need to secure their social places [credentialist closure].  The response to the development of a modern economy has been to demand more kinds of education.  Diplomas themselves have probably been devalued in terms of their role in regulating access to jobs.  The rapid growth of more functional [vocational?] education and more functional jobs have devalued traditional diplomas, and excluded non holders of diplomas altogether.  Academic qualifications have also helped to unify the whole system of qualifications [compare with the British government's model of 8 different levels].

As well as obtaining a diploma, it is important to exploit its value, and this requires further investments of educational and social capital. Those stopping at the lower levels, and new arrivals at the higher ones, are likely to suffer most from devaluation.  They can fight back, for themselves and for their children, by demanding even more better qualifications [as in the credentialist spiral].

Educational qualifications can be converted to economic capital in several ways.  Graduates might be able to demand higher wages: those holding diplomas have overtaken small independent businessmen in terms of income [almost a counterbalance argument here, based on some statistical evidence, the authors claim].  Alternatively, graduates might be able to shift into new businesses.  This can be seen in the changes around craft work, for example, which now feature luxury and leisure goods.  These require a more cultural capital (80).  For such goods, value lies in the 'casual distinction of the vendor [as much] as on the nature and quality of the wares' (81), and it is important to demonstrate a mastery of taste rather than technical skills.  These sorts of new cultural industries seem ideal for those with cultural capital rather than high levels of educational capital [as an example, the denser members of the UK royal family seem to be able to make a good living making very posh furniture].

Holders of devalued qualifications can try to retain their value [an interesting possibility relating to the recent work on knowledge economy in the UK, which also predicts falling returns to university degrees].  For example, the diploma can become a licence to gain privilege rather than an actual job, and to increase self esteem.  Again more objective mechanisms are required, including a need to invest in valuable educational capital, perhaps by pulling out of unfashionable subjects [or unis].  It is possible to cling on to the old values to some extent, if you can persuade colleagues and the family of the value of your diploma, this can sometimes mask a real devaluation.  In some circumstances, it might lead to actual revaluation [if particular degree subjects become fashionable, or if you can persuade employers that the prestige of the qualification is the most important thing].  Those who supply jobs however are likely to reward their real value of diplomas, especially if they are pursuing deskilling strategies as well.  [I can still see a place for well educated but non technical people as decorative members of boards of directors].  In the worst case, diploma holders can be unemployed, and can see themselves as refusing to play the game [hence the moral drop out, who gains an engineering degree, finds it overtaken by technical developments, and gives it all up to run a smallholding in Devon].

[donqwxx]

Takeaways from JC and A’Levels

Hello! I am from Singapore and I just completed my GCE A’Levels. It was a tough ride and these are just some things I would like to share with students who are going through junior college (JC) or a similar education journey. No doubt Tumblr has a strong ‘studyblr’ community, but I realised that many A’levels related posts are generally from the UK, which may not always be applicable for JC kids. These are some things I wished I had someone tell me when I was going through JC and I really hope that you can relate to something from this and feel less alone in your journey! 

1   Get a routine  

I was never a planner and I always work on tasks based on its priority and my mood. But over the course of preparing for A’levels, I found it very helpful to establish a set routine every day, especially during the months leading up to A’levels after graduation. Routines are basically a series of regularly followed actions and I find that it helps me to feel in control of my time, and to power through the day and stay motivated. My routine consisted of me waking up at a fixed timing of 7am every day, doing simple workouts for 30 minutes, having my breakfast and a shower before starting my revision at about 9am. This morning routine became a ritual for me and made it easier to motivate myself to sit at my desk and get work done instead of falling into the temptation of lazing on my bed for 30 minutes more. Find what works for you and once you instill the self-discipline to keep it going for the first few weeks, it will eventually become much easier to stick to it eventually.

2   Don’t lose momentum!!  

I believe that A’levels is similar to a marathon. Once you stop, it’s easy to lose your momentum and eventually your gears will turn rusty. In the months leading up to the A’levels, I had shifted my focus onto the subjects that I was weaker in and I paid less attention to Geography, which I felt I had generally mastered both the content and skills. And naturally, during the A’levels itself, I also spent more time on the subjects that were more imminent and neglected Geography, which was my last paper. Although I made sure to do at least 1 practice paper per week, I found myself unfamiliar with the content and trying to cram the heavy content in a few days was just too late. I felt that I underperformed for the paper as the content felt somewhat foreign to me, which was disappointing as I had worked so hard to master it before. Thus, it is extremely important to not neglect any of your subjects. Time is indeed tight, but it is important to continue to look through and revise the content of the subject regularly, no matter how confident you are in it. This is really important to not only keep your momentum but also boost your confidence for the paper! During our mock exams, my teacher told us that from our essays he could tell that some of us were losing our momentum already. This really shows how a loss in momentum can really show in your writing in the form of a lack of rigor, which highlights the importance of constantly revising and going through all of your subjects. I am not saying to not focus on the subjects you are weak in but to also make sure not to neglect any, even if it means just half an hour flipping through a particular set of notes. It is a difficult balancing act but try your best to do balance all your subjects and I believe it would really ensure you are at your best during the A’levels.

3   Don’t compare

I think this is the number 1 problem for many JC students, whether it is when we compare our grades or the opportunities we are awarded against our peers. In the fast-paced, competitive system, it is inevitable that we sometimes get trapped in these bouts of anxiousness that everyone seems to be doing so much better than we are. I clearly remember my first few Geography lectures and tutorials where I would just come out feeling so lost with so many question marks in my head and sometimes I would just burst into tears thinking that everyone else is coping so well and understanding everything while I did not pick up anything at all. However, with time, I realised that most of the time, whatever we tell ourselves in our heads is often more exaggerated and extreme than reality. You are definitely not the only one struggling and lagging behind, and most of the time, it’s just that people do not show their struggles on their faces. By comparing yourself with someone else, you are equating someone else’s strengths with your own weakness and obviously, that is not a fair comparison. Acknowledge your strengths and the efforts you are taking to improve yourself. A quote that personally helped to frame my mindset is this: “My best, my 100% might be someone else’s 80%... or 60%... or 40% but it’s my best and it’s good enough. And that’s what matters.” Getting caught in a never-ending race of trying to outbid others will only cause you to lose sight of what is truly important to you and who you are. This was something I had learnt the hard way as I lost much of my self-esteem because I just felt that I was never good enough. But the truth is, none of us are and as long as we strive to grow each day to become better, it’s enough. You are enough.

4   Be kind to yourself, give yourself the rightful credit

This is never easy to do and I struggled with this for many years and I am still trying to become better at it. Every single human being makes mistakes, including you. Don’t beat yourself over an answer that you could have written better or that careless mistake you made during a math paper. Yes, you screwed up but so what? Don’t discount all the times when you persevered and spent hours trying to understand that particular topic. Failure is not always a bad thing. Think about it, it is because of all the times when you fell that you picked yourself up and became stronger. Failing is an unavoidable experience of growth, don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t equate taking responsibility to taking the blame for everything. Many times when something goes wrong, I always tend to take the blame even when it is not my fault or something that I can control, and most of the time, I do not even recognise this. This made me learn that overly-blaming yourself will only continue to hurt your confidence. Recognise that some things are out of your control and that not every outcome is because of something you said or did. Some decisions are primarily the responsibility of others. Be mindful of what constitutes your responsibilities. Part of attaining self-love is learning to set your own personal boundaries and making it clear to the people you love about these lines. One such personal boundary that I drew was to set aside the time I take to travel on public transport to and fro school as a time for myself to reflect and be alone. However, unlike all my previous failed attempts at self-care, this time I learnt to speak up and to let my friends know of this personal boundary of mine so that they respect it and do not cross the boundary. This helped to boost my self-respect and confidence greatly as I learnt to mark my own boundaries and convey it to others. 

5   Burn-outs

Burnouts occur in different periods of time for different people. I experienced my first burnout in my 2nd year of JC and it happened at a time when I was overwhelmed by my commitments in extra-curricular activities and my academics and I also fell into the trap of comparing myself to others. I felt sleepy all the time, I did not want to get up and the thought of giving up was a constant in my mind. It was a very trying time for me as I felt the need to have to go on with my everyday life as if nothing was happening. However, it is important to recognise that it is a way your body is alerting you that you are exhausted. Listen to your body, do not force yourself to “snap out of it” or feel guilty about not being as productive. Burnouts reflect a state of our mental health, and it takes time to recover from one. Many of my friends, including myself, started to burn out in the second to the third week of A’levels as well. The exams stretch for 1 whole month and there are hardly any breaks after the mid-year exams as you engage in a cycle of constant revision, prelim exams and finally the A’levels. Hence, I can’t stress the importance of pacing yourself enough. Make it a priority to schedule breaks and to allow yourself to rest. For example, if you find yourself less productive at night, stop work at 9 and just do whatever you want till your bedtime. I made it a point to sleep at least 7 hours every night leading up to A’levels. Not only did it helped to regulate my stress, but it also allowed me to be more awake and productive during the day! Many people feel guilty for sleeping early because their friends burn the midnight oil or because they tell themselves they have to make better use of the time. But I strongly believe that everybody works differently. Find out what sleep schedule works for you and stick to it. After all, you are the one who is accountable for yourself, not them. Other than plenty of rest, what helped me out of my burn out was reading and listening to other people’s stories. These 3 sources really helped me to feel less alone in my stuggle: 1, 2, 3.  It is also important to discover the cause of your burnout as this can help you to tackle the problem at its root. Take time off school if you need to and reflect on the stressors in your life. Engage in activities that you enjoy and give yourself time to recover. Don’t suffer alone, talk to others about it. It is okay to ask for help, you don’t have to do everything alone. I had decided to talk to my family members about it and contrary to what I expected, I received heartfelt advice from my siblings who had gone through similar experiences before. Talk to someone who you are comfortable with about your feelings. It can be daunting but sometimes, it enables to open your heart and mind and discover perspectives you have never seen before. Recovering from burnout can take a very long time and it is normal. Don’t push yourself to feel 100% every single day, listen to your emotions and prioritise yourself. Afterall, your health is the most important. 

6   Actively reach out to your support system

One of my biggest regrets in JC was failing to recognise that I could ask for help. I was always hard on myself and I felt that at 18, I had to be independent and mature and do everything alone. I shamed myself when I asked for help. When I was on the verge to talk to someone about my problems, I was always held back by the thought that I would be a burden to my friends or family, especially since they are having their own struggles as well. I felt like I would just be adding on to their problems and no one would be genuinely interested in what I had to say. This made me feel unimportant and lonely. It was as if I was in a dark pit alone with no way out. As if my screams were in a different frequency that cannot be heard by anyone else. However, my sister taught me that there would always be people willing to listen to me and to be there for me. It was difficult for me to believe it at first, but once I started to open myself up to others and allowed them to be there for me and enter my life, I felt so much more secure and loved. I learnt that the person who is responsible for building my own support system is no other than myself. Nobody can read my mind. If I do not express my thoughts, how do I expect others to be there for me? That said, not everyone here reading this post may be good at expressing their feelings. However, talking is merely just one of those ways. Find your way to let your family or friends know that you need their support and company. This could be certain physical cues or even through writing. I can comfortably say that JC was one of the loneliest periods in my life. It can sometimes feel that the world is revolving regardless of how you are doing and you are trapped in so much action around you but you have so little involvement in them. Therefore, I cannot stress how important it is to establish a support system for yourself, no matter if you are someone who needs a lot of affirmations or not. Be proactive in searching for people to support you in your journey and likewise, be there for them when they need you. 

7   Forgive yourself and move on

After my economics paper 1, I felt extremely dejected because I did not perform as well as I wanted to. My time management was poor and there were questions that I did not understand. I was disappointed and angry with myself. I blamed myself as I felt that all the efforts that I had put in in the past 1.5 years would just go down the drain. I cried for an entire afternoon and I was so disheartened to the point where I just wanted to give up and not take the other papers. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that there is no point in crying over spilt milk and to let it go. My point is, it is okay to feel sad, angry or whatever emotions you have, but it is important to let it go. Sometimes, emotions are just chains locking people down, and dwelling in them only makes one feel worse. I had allowed myself to wallow in self-pity and to wish that I had done better. But these are things I cannot change. Regardless of the outcome, if you had done your best in that instant, you did well and you deserve to tell yourself that. Yes, you made some mistakes but so what? Despite it not being able to fulfill your expectations, your best is all you can do, no one can do more than that. My teacher had said this once: “Never indulge in your feelings, be it emotions of joy or sadness. We feel, pack it up, remember and move forward. Don’t live in past glories and don’t live in past regrets.” Give yourself some time to internalise your emotions and organise them. Acknowledge your efforts and forgive yourself. Move on, allow yourself to breathe. I once watched a video and an analogy that they used has since been held close in my heart. It said a rocket has many little fuel tanks that it carries with it that brings it to the sky. But once it is in the sky, it has to drop it all so that it can continue with its journey. Likewise, this applies to the bad things that happen in our lives. It spurs you on and helps you grow and then you just need to let them go so that you can move further. 

8   Your life is not just about studying.

Your life is more than just those notes and exams, there are so many opportunities awaiting you and so many meaningful things around you. While our main responsibility as students is to study hard, it is important to find life out of the books. I read an article recently and it puts my point across very nicely: “Our education system is built on the idea of merit, so people ... equate merit with performance in exams”. We allow our academic performance to influence how we feel about ourselves, our sense of self-worth and confidence. It is important to find your worth outside of the affirmations of others when you do well academically, or else it is easy to fall into the belief that you are nothing but a grade-making machine. After my A’levels ended, I felt a low in my life as I had dedicated so much of my life to studying that I lost my purpose and I felt worthless because I was no longer being “productive”. I forgot how to enjoy myself and to have fun, and this made me realise that I had indeed lost myself in trying to meet my own expectations academically. I cooped myself at home for months and the only time I left the house was to the library or school to study. Make it a point to engage in your hobbies, do not put it off just because you feel that it is a waste of time or that you feel pressured to study. It is difficult to see it now because you might be caught in the frenzy of studying, but when you look from a wider perspective, your academic journey is only such a small part of your life. There are more permanent things that you carry throughout your life, like your relationships with people, social skills that will continue to shape you as a person. Dedicate time for these important things and I can assure you that you will not regret it.

9   Find joy in learning

At some point in JC, I found that I lost my joy for learning and I was instead trying to memorise all the information in my head without trying to understand it. I was only studying just for the exams rather than to develop my critical thinking skills and my knowledge. Studying got very painful and I lost interest in many of my subjects, even those that I liked initially. When I realised this problem in the middle of JC2, I made it a point to relook at all of my study material and to slowly go through everything to try to genuinely understand them. It took a long time but this helped to spark my interest again as the content was no longer as dry as before. Blind memorisation may seem to be a shortcut and an effective way to ace the exams, but for me, I found it difficult to apply any of the concepts as I did not know how to adapt them to the questions. There is a difference between learning and studying. Be mindful to sieve out whether you are learning or purely just doing it for the exams.

10   Tough times will pass

For me, the JC experience was so tough that it is indescribable in words. The best way I can put my experience is that it is like a rollercoaster ride, except that everything is perpetually going downhill. Of course, there have been good days, but there has been a fair share of difficult days. It is extremely demanding to have to learn this giant chunk of content in only 1.5 years and the commitment for extra-curricular activities will undeniably drain you. It may be unbearable at times and you might feel that you want to give up. I have also gone through these moments in my life but I can confidently tell you that you are stronger than you believe and you will overcome them. Think about all the times when you felt so small and vulnerable, but in the end, you managed to get through them and now the painful experience is only just a speck of your memory and it no longer hurts you as much as before. Likewise, you will be able to overcome whatever struggles that come in your way. I read the book ‘The Last Lecture’ and there was a line that said “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.” All the struggles and heartaches will only bring you closer to your dreams. It will teach you lessons, grow you to become stronger and equip you with more wisdom to tackle other challenges in the future. This was a song that comforted me through many of my bad days and I hope it can also bring you some strength to continue to push on: https://youtu.be/4KdUGnowXS0 You will be okay, this soon shall pass. The storms may be tough but the sun will shine again. It will get better! Don’t give up!

While you are caught in your endless to-do list, never forget you are human. I mean these 3 things- resting, making mistakes and feeling. Make time for play and rest, for development. As we grow up, there will be new emotions we would be experiencing for the first time. These eventually will make up who we are as a person which we will carry throughout our lives, so invest time into these things as well.

I know how tough JC is. You may feel that you will never see the end of the tunnel but as long as you are taking small, new steps every single day, you’ll make it. Take challenges, fight. Even if you get beaten up, live your life how you want okay? This is our youth and we will only live it once. Leave no regrets and chase your dreams! Lastly, let me leave a youtube video from one of the artists I admire very much, there were many meaningful messages I got out of the interview and I hope you will too! 

Thank you for reading this, no matter whether you are studying in JC or not, I hope this has been helpful! Hang on and your hard work will pay off! Believe in yourself!

[lilmajorshawty]

Neptune Through the Houses. 🌊 (To Sink Or to Swim)

Neptune in the 1st house:

Rae sremmurd - what’s in your heart

Rosemary fairweather - chemicals

The intangible persona.

Neptune in the first house natives are often caught between the need to be hidden in plain sight or being the center of everyone’s universe as if they were the sun itself. They’re delicate but also seem to evaporate the moment too many vibrations are experienced at once. These natives can channel the inner feelings of a crowd, a room, of the sky and the earth in all its light and dark shades like mediums. They feed off the unknown and project a reflection of what is given back to them which is often why they are seen as such an elusive character. Neptune in the first house natives have a profound magntetism and often they’re capable of completely morphing and “switching” on their spark, within moments having the entire room all in a trance like state. In many cases these natives can struggle with developing a healthy identity apart from what they absorb from their surroundings. These natives especially in the younger years can devour the energy of others as a means to create a persona for themlsves but this inturn usually forces them to bid the question of “who am I” one way or another. To say things get better for these natives would be a far cry, the raw and heavy energy of Neptune in this house is very powerful and these natives have the power to move a nation to its knees but the take away being that moving these natives to their knees is practically and impossible task. The emotions are felt universally but can be rather cumbersome when it come to what is individually felt by these natives. The endless sea in these natives albeit a wonderful quality is often something they find themselves sinking in.

Neptune in the 2nd house:

Blood cultures - phospholipid

Black marble - frisk

The Conceptual gaze

Neptune in the 2nd house natives are very much so the free spirits when it comes to the more mundane and grounded aspects of life. Money and security are more of a blurry and less fleshed out concept in this case as often they prefer to feel their way through things. As you can imagine “feeling” things out means that often their moody and somewhat evasive mentality can create financial hiccups every now and then. These natives have a very intuitive nature when it comes to money, often finding it to never come up short especially when they need it most. They can often have a very sensual and glossy atmosphere to them, preferring to hide in the clothing they wear rather than outright be flashy. In most cases these natives hide certain if not most aspects of their bodies-not necessarily out of rejection of themselves but merely to impose a symbolic boundary between them and their own surroundings. These natives love touch and can often be the types to use their fingers and limbs as a second nose in a way! Touch is a huge emotional sense of comfort for them. Simplicity is a huge need in their lives and something they strive for. They are the types to thrift and love bargains, you’d rarely catch them spending big as they often love the more vintage and old school Attire. Neptune in the 2nd house natives have a very pronounced earthy look to them and can always look as if they’re a bit sleepy even when they’re not. Glossy eyes and slightly messy hair is their dead give away. That being said boundary issues is often a big theme and they can get themselves caught in dangerous situations due to their lack of discipline in this area.

Neptune in the 3rd house:

Beach house - Black car

Ruby haunt - destroyer

The sleepover

Neptune in the 3rd house natives are very mentally active, often flashing between moments in time like they were some sort of camera. The past can be of great importance but also the source of the most lament for these natives. They often cling to memories and situations, holding people in their lives to the previous selves in an almost ritual like manner. These natives often idealize moments in time which is often what gravitates them to things like cinema, painting and of course photography. Capturing a moment in time and the endless array of feelings and sensations that came with it is a deep felt desire for these natives. More than most these natives love to dissociate and sort of transfer to their alter egos for a little bit just to escape from it all from time to time. Neptune in the 3rd house natives see the world in vibrant and often overwhelming colors, often experiencing the feelings of others as if they were experiencing the same exact situation. Moments of deja vu, and premonitions or even prophet like dreams are common ground and often I call these natives “gods voice” due to the fact that they can often sense or feel things that many can’t as if someone is directly messaging them or speaking to them on a spiritual level. These natives can smell negative energy and malefic energy swiftly and usually are able to discern someone’s character before they even have time to blink. The emotions tend to cloud their rational mind though and at times it can be so overwhelming that some of these natives rely on drug use as a means to drown out the “sound”

Neptune in the 4th house:

The holydrug couple - if I could find you

Yeule - pocky boy

The deep sea diver

For Neptune in the 4th house natives it’s less about the feeling and more about the experience that accompanies it. There can be an addiction to the more extreme level of emotional expression be it negative, positive, destructive, creative, transformative and so on. They value emotional honesty but in the same context could’ve grown up in an environment where emotional manipulation and emotional dishonesty ran rampant. In most cases the family life was deeply loving no matter the circumstances but there might’ve still been subtle unhealthy co-dependent behavior on the part of the parents. These natives can grow up so pure and gentle no matter the type of upbringing-Neptune here ensures that no matter what they come out of it good in faith and heart. Emotional intensity is a big theme for these natives and learning to focus and utilize their deep receptivity in a way that’s productive and positive can take time as often much of the early life will be spent putting their energy and time into people and situations that don’t benefit them. There is a powerful clarity presented here, these natives just seem to be intune with the universe and it’s workings and usually flow with the waves wherever they happen to be guided. There is a heavy sentimentality and often forgiveness of the home life and these natives no matter the 4th house cusp sign adore quiet and breezy home environments! To much clutter and noise can make them feel antsy and restricted. Recreational drug use can be a thing but normally it’s in a healthy amount unless Neptune is afflicted. Usually these natives can grow having a more blurry sexuality and because of this can struggle defining their wants and needs in their romantic unions. The heart makes the choices for these natives and albeit it gets them in trouble sometimes it’s one of there most endearing traits. Animals love these natives and tend to gravitate towards them! Wounded people and animals in general may feel at ease around these natives and in some cases they could pass in the presence of these natives(this isn’t a bad things as usually these natives soothe their souls and lead them to spiritual peace.) these natives can also bring out emotions in others they’d rather not readily experience so often times these natives may feel as though they can see through they veil people put up.

Neptune in the 5th house:

Pale honey - why do I always feel this way

Toro y moi - labyrinth

The bleeding clouds

For Neptune in the 5th house natives romance and the idea and concept of love can have the least grounded backing supporting it, often leaving these natives in a state of passion or confusion. Here we have the 5th house, our art is here, our expression and our playful side is here, this is how we have fun, the casual dates, the nights out with strangers and the guilty hookup, it’s your future babies via adoption or birds and the bees. Neptune is our spirit, our dreams, it’s the vulnerable side of us and the tears behind the tears. These natives can experience love like one long lasting and never ending crush often to frightened to ever act on their desires. Love is a bit tricky here as it’s often that they attract “vulnerable” types who have an elusive but also deeply tender nature to them-which to most people seems easy but it’s normally just the opposite! The natural playfulness of this house is sort of drowned and extinguished by Neptune’s watery presence so to speak. Often these natives are very picky about who and what they allow to keep them emotionally preoccupied which is for good reason as often some of the romance they attract is of the messy and unhealthy variety and many tend to be drawn to the healing and warm nature of these natives, never truly seeking to settle down, rather to leech and leech off the continued kindness of these natives instead. The art and hobbies of these natives can be endless, many love drawing, singing and even dancing so long as it’s a hobby that allows them to express their own inner love and passions in a creative and emotionally fulfilling way. Casual sex isn’t usually a thing here and often these natives will wait a pretty good while before losing their virginity! Usually they need something consistent and long term for sex to even be in the equation! Romantically they are very fun souls! Wanting to connect and vibe through energy. Their children can be rather sentimental souls with a highly functioning and self aware emotional side! The children can be a bit fragile health wise and might be a bit more harder to handle in the adolcent years and the neptunian energy will make those 18-21 years a more dramtic version of “finding yourself” (don’t worry they’ll get through it!) they can draw a lot of karma in their relationships and the learning of self love and self worth can come toe to toe for these natives! Love is not owed, love shouldn’t come with a price, Love is something that’s should be a naturally felt give and take on both ends.

Neptune in the 6th house:

Nearly oratorio - occlude

Prolly knot - perennial

The pale window

Neptune in the 6th house natives can be rather somber souls. The daily life is often a fickle one as they can feel as though their is a lack of organization or even grounding In there daily life. On one end the lack of navigation can feel as if they’re directionless but it can also feel a bit freeing, as if their destination is never really set in stone. A certain poetry exist in these natives as they often have such an incrediblely intoxicating aura as if you could be transferred to another space just by hearing them speak. Wisdom and opendmindedness are big traits here and usually these natives approach life without expectation or intent. Often times these natives can be mistaken as being shady or dubious due to their lack of projected “desire.” In reality these natives are passer by’s and aren’t really the types to have an alterior motives as evey choice and desire is something that happens more in the moment if anything. They are often immensely creative in their lives, finding solutions and even bypassing roadblocks that many would be stumped upon. Animals can serve as spritual guides and transformative life lessons for these individuals and in some ways animals help to ground them in this reality. There is a pronounced day dreamer nature to them which causes them to phase in and out quite a bit. Usually these natives need to have music and rhythmic sounds incorporated into there day to day be it listening to music at work or blasting the radio while they are cooking. It’s very, very hard for these natives to let someone do something on there own or even saying no which can cause them issues as they can be taken advantage of. These natives have very perceptive eyes albeit they usually don’t use them that much aha! But the eyes are often piercing in nature despite the watery disposition.

Neptune in the 7th house:

KWAYE - Little ones

James Isaac - can’t u see

The one everyone wanted

Neptune in the 7th house natives much like their sister Neptune in the 1st are enigmas. Neptune in the first deals with the ego whilst Neptune in the 7th deals with a much more hidden influence in our character, the ID. For Neptune in the 7th house natives there is a certain unavailability that shrouds them, both emotionally and physically. In most cases intimacy is sought after but it’s also something that’s fiercely yet unconsciously avoided. Partnership is dreamt about yet it’s never really seldom pursued in the real world. These natives have a very thin grip on their interactions with others which causes them to either give to much or give to little. They often can bring out the softer and even the more vulnerablely pure side of others which in some ways is what makes them so sought after! People fall for these natives rather quickly which can both alarm and fascinate them. Gender, sexuality, background all seem to fade into a blur in their interactions with others and most cases especially in same sex situations their lovers might’ve never been with the same sex until they met these natives. These natives can bring or dependent and even emotional sensitivity from even the coldest hearts. Despite their propensity for attracting everyone like a moth to a flame these natives can still battle depression and loneliness like the Black Plague. Happiness tends to allude them and mainly this is a self inflicted energy that they can’t seem to shake. Blessed with beautiful hearts they are destined to change a great many lives but in the process they might have to recover from more heart brakes than most as often their romances can be described as intense and powerful but deeply wounding. That being said romantically they often are very sacrificing and give their entirety to those they love but forming boundaries between themselves and others is SOOOOO important. These natives tend to change after sex and can absorb parts of the personality of those they sleep with. Love here is never, ever simple. The biggest feature on these natives is that they have very petite butts and very sad faces with deep set eyes. Because of the intense feelings the provoke in others people can often become evasive or ignore these natives(mainly to ignore the emotions and or vulnerability that they feel around he natives).

Neptune in the 8th house:

Lana Del Rey - disco

Lana Del Rey - Black beauty

The devils favorite angel

Spirituality takes a overwhelming flow in these natives. For Neptune in the 8th housers they can feel as if they are walking through this life in a half dead fashion somewhere along the lines of alive with a dirty twist. The world isn’t in simplistic black and white shades for them rather everything is in a rock and sway, back and forth teetering between past and present. These natives can feel distant mainly due to how deeply and often internal the currents of their own feelings swirl within them. Intimacy is often something that comes with its fair share of risk for these natives as they often look for “life” and the concept of “god” through their sexual encounters and through intimacy itself. To the untrained eye they can seem standoffish or even a bit cut throat but rather what you’re seeing is merely a reflection of your own emotions. The 8th house themes of possession, transformation, anger, sadness, our finances and our darker sides all dance around in the neptunian cloud creating someone with an almost angel in raised in the shadows energy but also someone who is drawn to the chaos in others so he or she can bring them out of the flames. The savior and saved mentality can be an unconscious motivation for many of their interactions as in most cases they’re looking for that loss in control, that ever rising high and breathtaking low that comes with it. Neptune in the 8th can attract very dark lovers, very tantric sex and overwhelming spiritual encounters with poltergeist, with darker entities, or even murders and serial rapist. Neptune here creates open door to malefic energy but also opens a door to the divine which is why these natives can seem like both a blessing and an omen. Heaven and hell themes play out in the character of these natives quite a bit and knowing which side you’ll get is often a flip of the coin. The lesson here is that these natives need to learn to channel their unconscious need for a higher love rather than project it to the wrong people as this much like your 2nd house counterpart could lead you into parts of hell you never imagined. These natives usually have beautiful eyes! The eyes can lack shine especially in the light and often in most cases darker hair and features are indicated! The smile is often subtle never a large grin. Sex for them can be a trancendent experience but due to how powerful the emotions are here sex can also if not with the right person can be deeply traumatizing.

Neptune in the 9th house:

Jessie ware - running

James Isaac - beauty

The ones lost in faith

There is a charm with those with Neptune in the 9th. These natives can fly by life with nothing but optimism often expecting things to pan out the way they should with or without intervention. For these natives the faith in the cosmos and something more is both natural and instinctual. In a way these natives are so deeply intertwined with the spirit that they seemingly sense and absorb knowledge far beyond what they’ve been taught. Religion and faith regardless can still be a huge source of confusion for them! In many cases they can have ideals or ideologies that clash with blind faith into the religion they choose. Many struggle with aligning to religion in completion as in most cases they have their own personal beliefs and thoughts that might view things from a different light than what they’ve even been taught. Similar to the 8th house spiritual capability is through the roof and if time is dedicated these natives can truly become spiritual guides and gurus as it comes naturally! That being said much discipline and guidance is needed before they can lead the rest of the world(avatar reference lmao). They have a immense propensity for reading energy of others and can tell when foul play is going on without words being exchanged. In most cases these natives can be extremely flexible and have an easy time navgiagting through various situations and places. The 9th house deals with our traveling and our university life so in most cases these natives can receive immense growth when out of their home, vacationing or even going to religious temples and retreats! In most cases military or university life is very calming and usually serves to expand the spiritual realm. The eyes are expressive and usually the expressions and faces are round and plump.

Neptune in the 10th house:

James Blake - retrograde

James Blake - modern soul

The blurry civilization

Neptune in the 10th house natives are some of the most warm natured souls on this planet. The need to put others before themselves is present among all Neptune placements in their respective houses but especially when in the 10th. These natives tend to have a rather soft approach to their work place and their public life in general. They can seem rather fragile and even emotional out and about, choosing to be rather private and “quiet” when it comes to what they put out there. Gender fluid and even neutral stances on societal issues is common here as they prefer not to have any one definitive standing either way it goes. To many they have a deceptive and rather diluted personality publically which I blame on Neptune’s rather cloudy disposition in an otherwise face value and saturnaian house. They tend to be very emotionally available but also slightly emotionally unrealiable as they often keep everything at a distance especially publically. Since Neptune is the weak spots in ones life, Neptune in this house can show that the natives have a more rigid and tight grip on how and what sensitivities are expressed. These natives usually need to practice expressing their softer emotions without feeling the need to retreat or step back! A common trait is usually soft and or rather domicile/submissive hair!(hair that seems to lay low and doesn’t really fall back into place once you touch it)

Neptune in the 11th house:

Nearly oratorio - devonport

Nearly oratorio - tin

The faces of many

For Neptune in the 11th house natives there can be a rather anonymous aura to them. The need to stay hidden is very apparent here. Friends are often plentiful yet kept at arms reach as in most cases these natives have a strong need for space in any interaction they experience. They often find themselves immersed in their own pursuits be it work, art, be it cinema or acting the talents are often plentiful here. In most cases these natives are attaching worth to what they choose to create which can often make them come across as blunt and rather unapproachable without meaning to. They don’t like to waste time in meaningless affairs as often their emotional side is highly developed allowing them to pick out who and what is worth expending themselves for. These natives tend to reflect Decisions quite a bit often preferring to understand the motives behind what they do and why they do it as a means to present themselves in the list authentic way they can. Realism and integrity are high moral codes that these natives Adhere to which often makes it harder for them to be around groups and or organizations that lack that. These natives are very picky about who and what they choose to support but can also brake out into tears if they know a movement or group can actually make a difference in someone’s life. Despite the outwardly spacey demeanor these natives are tremendously loving. You can always tell when you’re around one when you see there friends! They’re usually very soft and light towards the native!

Neptune in the 12th house:

Young galaxy - stay for real

Sleeping Jesus - alley dream

The last door

Neptune in the 12th house natives are purely vibrations. Emotions are felt like a heavy wave crashing ashore, whilst the thoughts and feelings of others are channeled and soaked up by these natives like a galaxy sponge. Clairvoyance, premonitions and spiritual direction through dreams and day dreams is common for this placement! These natives can often overwhelm themselves easily with how much they pick up in the world and all around them. Taking naps, or even constant lethargy is usually a manifestation and often times these natives can find that they need to recharge quite a bit as they run the risk of emotional depletion. The emotions are usually highly developed and very intricate almost like and endless series of cables and wires over an long extending tunnel. They often process information and body language in ways entirely different from the rest of us. In most cases these natives don’t usually struggle with boundaries from the outside world, rather the real struggle lies in their own psyche. The psyche is often very vulnerable and in some cases these natives can be so overcharged with energy that their mental and brain functions can zone out or stop as a means to catch up and collect themselves. Plenty of care and rest should be occurant to ensure that the body is in top shape! These natives have a very powerful healing capability once they learn to channel their intense neptunian energy but usually this takes time to truly get the hang of! Dreams are often signs and speak on future events or even connections established in real time.

[wordsnstuff]

Writing On A Schedule

– A lot of the questions I receive revolve around productivity and people’s struggles with actually accomplishing their goals in their target timeframe. I decided to make a longer post compiling my tips and tricks and at the end, I’ve included a few approaches that I take most frequently in order to reach my own deadlines. I hope this is helpful to you and I hope that all of you feel more productive and achieve your goals. Enjoy!

Motivation

Keep In Mind The End Goal

What are you working for? It’s important to remind yourself why you’re putting so much time and effort into writing, because if you don’t you’ll lose momentum and motivation very quickly. Writing can become very time consuming and it’s imperative to take a breath every once in a while to remind yourself of what you’re working toward. It’s surprisingly easy to forget.

Use A Rewards System

I do this a lot, simply because I really like chocolate and because it’s highly effective. Basically, every hundred words, I allow myself a piece of chocolate, and by the end of a standard chocolate bar I’ve reached my daily goal. Now, I obviously don’t do this every day; I don’t want to put myself off chocolate, but I do it in more pressing circumstances because it works, especially when you have a bunch of smaller tasks or pieces of writing to finish.

Make A Vision Board {Or Multiple}

This can sound kind of cheesy to people who have never done it, but as a resident cheese-ball, I highly suggest this. It works. If you don’t know what a vision board is, it’s basically a visual representation of your goal, or your vision for whatever you’re working on. Creating these for stories or projects you’re currently putting your energy into helps keep the end goal in mind and can, a lot of the time, help you figure out exactly how you want your project to turn out and what you’re going for. This doesn’t take very long and it can be a physical project or you can just keep a google doc with pictures that compliment your vision, just do whatever works for you. 

This is a kind of cool and helpful article on what vision boards are, how and why they work, and how to make one, if you’re interested.

Remember Who You’re Writing For

If you don’t write and you don’t meet that deadline, ultimately, the only person who loses is you. You don’t get the reward for reaching your goal, whatever the reward may be. Followers, likes, money, the simple feeling of accomplishment, you don’t get any of it if you haven’t done what it takes to earn it. You’re writing for you. You are writing either because you love it or you want the positive consequences. It sucks when you let others down, but it’s especially horrible when you let yourself down. 

Accountability

Find multiple ways to hold yourself accountable and make sure you actually keep to your schedule. You can use one of, all of, or more than these suggestions. Just find whatever works best for you.

Have Others Keep Up With Your Progress

I’ve mentioned this tip in a few previous posts but it’s one I find really helpful because it takes away that aspect of “well, I’m the only one who will know if I skip a day so there’s no harm in it”, which, for me personally, is a mindset I have a lot of trouble fighting. You can do this on a large scale, like I do, and keep a blog where if you stop writing, lots and lots of people are there to encourage and remind you to write, or you can do it on a small scale by having a close friend check in every day and see where you’re at with your goal for the day. I think this is super important, as all of us procrastinate, whether it’s from time to time or on the regular, and it’s useful to have someone else to keep us going when we can’t do it all by ourselves.

Remind Yourself Of The Consequences

If you finish this chapter today, you get to relax this weekend because you’ll be ahead. If you don’t, you’ll have to spend all weekend struggling and wishing you had done it sooner. There are consequences to every action you take and every action you don’t, so remind yourself that you may get some extra Netflix time now, but future you will be suffering.

Develop Good Old Discipline

This is an incredibly important trait to have if you plan on being successful as a writer. Yeah, sometimes you just don’t feel like it and you feel like there are a thousand other ways you could be better spending your time, but if you put too much stake in what you want to do over what you should do, you’ll end up procrastinating, falling behind, and cursing yourself for it later.

Balance

Don’t Limit Yourself To One Project

It’s okay to be working on a novel and a collection of poetry and a book of prompts all at the same time. Remember that it’s important not to overwhelm yourself, but you should have multiple things going on to balance each other out and compensate in areas each other lack in. If the novel isn’t fulfilling your need to keep track of bursts of thought, then write some poems. If the poems aren’t keeping you on your toes and the novel is taking up so much time that you can’t start another story, then answer prompts from time to time when you just need to think of something different. It’s okay if your focus isn’t always on a single thing. In fact, it’s probably healthier that way.

Take Care Of Yourself

Meeting deadlines is all fine and dandy, but should never get in the way of your physical, mental, or emotional health. Take the time and devote some of your energy to making sure you’re okay. You’re allowed to be selfish sometimes.

Build Habits

Write every day

Whether it contributes to your project or not, you need to write. Every. Single. Day. No excuses, no “but I was too busy when I got home”. None of that. You have the time and you know it, and there’s no way you can write on a schedule if you can’t manage to squeeze in a bit of free-writing at least once a day. If you’re going to plan a writing schedule, schedule time to write every day. Not every other day. Not only on the weekends. Every day.

Read. A Lot.

If you haven’t got time to read, you haven’t got time to write. Reading is a massive part of writing, and in order to write good things, you need to read everything. Bad and good. Reading intensely is just a habit you need to develop in order to be a good writer, so read.

Create Time

Write on the bus. Write on your break. Write while cooking dinner. Write during a free-period. Write whenever you can. You have more time than you think, and complaining about how you have no time isn’t going to accomplish anything and every successful writer has had to learn to write during cracks in the day. Especially when trying to keep to a deadline.

Kill The Intimidation

Yes, writing 500 words every day for a month sounds intimidating. Being apprehensive about making a commitment like that is understandable, but the thing about routines is that they get easier the more often and consistently you practice them. If you commit to sitting down and writing for half an hour a day, it will become second nature to you and skipping that step in your day will feel like deviating from a personal ritual. Don’t be scared of setting high expectations for yourself. Chances are that if you just sit down and make yourself do it, it won’t be as hard as you have built it up to be in your mind. Just get out of your own head, don’t over-think it, and just write.

Schedules {Examples}

Daily Word Count Goals

Maybe you aim for writing 300 words per day of.. whatever it is you’re working on.

Daily Time Goals

Maybe you aim to spend 30 minutes a day writing.

– There are a million ways you can schedule your own writing, so experiment and find what works for you.

Support Wordsnstuff!

Request A Writing Help Post/Themed Playlist/Writing Tips!

Send Me Poetry To Feature On Our Instagram!

Receive Updates & Participate In Polls On Our Twitter!

Like us and share on Facebook!

Read More On Our Masterlist & See our Frequently Asked Questions!

Tag What You Want Me To See With #wordsnstuff!

Participate in monthly writing challenges!

[foursprout-blog]

One Insanely Popular Reason So Many of Us Are Unhappy

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/one-insanely-popular-reason-so-many-of-us-are-unhappy/

One Insanely Popular Reason So Many of Us Are Unhappy

It’s not too late.  You aren’t behind.  You’re exactly where you need to be.  Every step is necessary.  Don’t judge or berate yourself for how long your journey is taking.  We all need our own time to travel our own distance.  Give yourself a little more credit right now, be thankful you made it this far, and take the next tiniest step forward.

Seriously, don’t waste another drop of your time and energy fighting against where you are.  Invest your time and energy into getting to where you want to go.  Do your best to let go of everything from the past that does not serve you, and just admire the fact that it brought you to where you are now…

To this new beginning.

That’s the super-simplified gist of what Marc and I preach on a daily basis to course students, blog commenters, book readers, friends, and just about anyone else who pings us for some general advice on getting unstuck in life.

And it’s pretty good advice for the most part, right?

You might even say it’s common sense.

Yet, so many of us do the exact opposite on a daily basis.

In fact, many of us do nothing productive at all until we get to a catastrophic breaking point.

In other words, we waste all our time and energy waiting for the ideal path to appear.  But it never does.  Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting.  We forget that we shouldn’t feel more confident before we take the next step—that taking the next step is what builds our confidence.  And so, we hesitate, procrastinate, and ultimately succumb to the same old routines that have been making us miserable.

The underlining reason for our errors in judgment?

A Lack of Self-Discipline

Many of us lack the self-discipline skill set required to make consistent, meaningful progress.

Think about the most widespread sources of unhappiness we deal with in our lives—from laziness to lack of exercise to unhealthy vices to procrastination, and so on.

In most cases, problems like these are not caused not by a physical ailment, but by an conditioned weakness of the mind—a weakness that persistently urges us to avoid discomfort.

Too often we dream about the reward without the risk, the shine without the grind.  But we can’t have a destination without a journey.  And a journey always has costs.  At the very least, we have to give up a little time and energy to take a step forward every day.

So, instead of dreaming about what you want right now, first ask yourself:

“What am I willing to give up to get it?”

Or, for those inevitably hard days:

“What is worth sacrificing for?”

Seriously, think about it…

If you want the six-pack abs, you have to also want the sore muscles and the healthy meals.

If you want the successful business, you have to also want the long work days and the possibility of failing twenty times to learn what you need to know to succeed in the long run.

If you want something in life, you have to also want the costs of getting it—you have to be willing to put in consistent effort.  Otherwise, there’s no point in dreaming.  In fact, as long as a meaningful dream is just sitting around in your head it’s doing far more harm than good.  Your subconscious mind knows you’re procrastinating on something that’s important to you.  The necessary work you keep postponing causes unhappiness, anxiety, fear, and usually more procrastination—a vicious cycle that continues to worsen until you interrupt it with ACTION.

Yeah, taking action seems simple enough but, really, it’s not.  Because, again, what we truly need to do is often what we most feel like avoiding.  This is a harsh reality…

Waaaaay too often!  But there’s hope…

Practicing the Skill of Self-Discipline

After consistently honing my self-discipline over the years, I’ve become reasonably proficient at getting things done with minimal distraction and procrastination.

Today, for example, I wrote a 1200-word newsletter email for blog subscribers, proof-read and cleaned up the last few edits for a brand new book Marc and I just finished co-writing, coached one of our Getting Back to Happy course students, responded to comments and emails from dozens of students and readers, worked on business planning and strategizing for a few active side-projects, spent a quality evening with my family, and of course now I’m writing the article you’re reading now which I’ll queue up for tomorrow morning.

It might seem like a lot, but it happens one step at a time, with presence and focus.

With that said, however, I’ll be the first to admit that Marc and I still struggle with occasional self-discipline breakdowns that sneak up on us and get in the way of our effectiveness (because we’re human).  When this happens to me, first and foremost, I forgive myself for messing up, and then I strive to be mindful about what’s really going on.  Am I procrastinating for some reason?  Am I distracted?  Instead of telling myself that I’m “bad” or “undisciplined,” I try to productively uncover a more specific, solvable problem, and then address it.

In a nutshell, I remind myself that self-discipline is just a skill to be honed.  It’s simply the practice of overcoming distractions and focusing on what matters.  It involves acting according to what you know is right instead of how you feel in the moment (perhaps tired or lazy).  It typically requires sacrificing immediate pleasure and excitement for what matters most in life.  And it’s something that must be revisited, again and again.

But (there’s always a “but”)…

What do you do if your life is in complete disarray, you have hardly any self-discipline or beneficial routines, can’t stick to anything, procrastinate constantly, and feel miserably out of control?

How do you get started with practicing self-discipline when you have so many changes to make?

You start small. Very small.

If you don’t know where to start, let me suggest that you start by simply washing your dishes.  Yes, I mean literally washing your dishes.  It’s just one small step forward: When you eat your oatmeal, wash your bowl and spoon.  When you finish drinking your morning coffee, rinse the coffee pot and your mug.  Don’t leave any dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter for later.  Wash them immediately.

Form this small ritual one dish at a time, one day at a time.  Once you do this consistently for a couple weeks, you can start making sure the sink has been wiped clean too.  Then the counter.  Then put your clothes where they belong when you take them off.  Then start doing a few sit-ups every morning.  Eat a few vegetables for dinner.  And so forth.

Do one of these at a time, and you’ll start to build a healthy ritual of practicing self-discipline, and finally know yourself to be capable of doing what must be done… and finishing what you start.

But, again, for right now, just wash your dishes.  Mindfully, with a smile. (Marc and I build small, life-changing rituals like this with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of the Getting Back to Happy course.)

Your turn…

The next step forward is yours for the taking.  Just one step today—like washing your dishes—and then continue focusing on it for a few minutes a day going forward.  The key is making sustainable shifts in your beliefs and behavior.  That means practicing gradually, one step at a time, one day at a time, and letting your progress build over time.  Go from zero to 60 steps over the course of a couple months, not all at once.

Will it be easy?

Not likely.

But it will be worth it.

As you marshal forward in life, adversity is inescapable.  And it’s much like walking into a turbulent windstorm—as you fight to step onward, you not only gain strength, but it tears away from you all but the essential parts of you that cannot be torn.  Once you come out of the storm, you see yourself as you really are in raw form, without the baggage that’s been holding you back.

And that makes all the difference—because it frees you to take the next small step, and the next.

So tell me, which part of this article resonated with you the most?  Why does it resonate with you?

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

Marc and I would love to hear from YOU.  🙂

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

[foursprouthappiness-blog]

One Insanely Popular Reason So Many of Us Are Unhappy

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/one-insanely-popular-reason-so-many-of-us-are-unhappy/

One Insanely Popular Reason So Many of Us Are Unhappy

It’s not too late.  You aren’t behind.  You’re exactly where you need to be.  Every step is necessary.  Don’t judge or berate yourself for how long your journey is taking.  We all need our own time to travel our own distance.  Give yourself a little more credit right now, be thankful you made it this far, and take the next tiniest step forward.

Seriously, don’t waste another drop of your time and energy fighting against where you are.  Invest your time and energy into getting to where you want to go.  Do your best to let go of everything from the past that does not serve you, and just admire the fact that it brought you to where you are now…

To this new beginning.

That’s the super-simplified gist of what Marc and I preach on a daily basis to course students, blog commenters, book readers, friends, and just about anyone else who pings us for some general advice on getting unstuck in life.

And it’s pretty good advice for the most part, right?

You might even say it’s common sense.

Yet, so many of us do the exact opposite on a daily basis.

In fact, many of us do nothing productive at all until we get to a catastrophic breaking point.

In other words, we waste all our time and energy waiting for the ideal path to appear.  But it never does.  Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting.  We forget that we shouldn’t feel more confident before we take the next step—that taking the next step is what builds our confidence.  And so, we hesitate, procrastinate, and ultimately succumb to the same old routines that have been making us miserable.

The underlining reason for our errors in judgment?

A Lack of Self-Discipline

Many of us lack the self-discipline skill set required to make consistent, meaningful progress.

Think about the most widespread sources of unhappiness we deal with in our lives—from laziness to lack of exercise to unhealthy vices to procrastination, and so on.

In most cases, problems like these are not caused not by a physical ailment, but by an conditioned weakness of the mind—a weakness that persistently urges us to avoid discomfort.

Too often we dream about the reward without the risk, the shine without the grind.  But we can’t have a destination without a journey.  And a journey always has costs.  At the very least, we have to give up a little time and energy to take a step forward every day.

So, instead of dreaming about what you want right now, first ask yourself:

“What am I willing to give up to get it?”

Or, for those inevitably hard days:

“What is worth sacrificing for?”

Seriously, think about it…

If you want the six-pack abs, you have to also want the sore muscles and the healthy meals.

If you want the successful business, you have to also want the long work days and the possibility of failing twenty times to learn what you need to know to succeed in the long run.

If you want something in life, you have to also want the costs of getting it—you have to be willing to put in consistent effort.  Otherwise, there’s no point in dreaming.  In fact, as long as a meaningful dream is just sitting around in your head it’s doing far more harm than good.  Your subconscious mind knows you’re procrastinating on something that’s important to you.  The necessary work you keep postponing causes unhappiness, anxiety, fear, and usually more procrastination—a vicious cycle that continues to worsen until you interrupt it with ACTION.

Yeah, taking action seems simple enough but, really, it’s not.  Because, again, what we truly need to do is often what we most feel like avoiding.  This is a harsh reality…

Waaaaay too often!  But there’s hope…

Practicing the Skill of Self-Discipline

After consistently honing my self-discipline over the years, I’ve become reasonably proficient at getting things done with minimal distraction and procrastination.

Today, for example, I wrote a 1200-word newsletter email for blog subscribers, proof-read and cleaned up the last few edits for a brand new book Marc and I just finished co-writing, coached one of our Getting Back to Happy course students, responded to comments and emails from dozens of students and readers, worked on business planning and strategizing for a few active side-projects, spent a quality evening with my family, and of course now I’m writing the article you’re reading now which I’ll queue up for tomorrow morning.

It might seem like a lot, but it happens one step at a time, with presence and focus.

With that said, however, I’ll be the first to admit that Marc and I still struggle with occasional self-discipline breakdowns that sneak up on us and get in the way of our effectiveness (because we’re human).  When this happens to me, first and foremost, I forgive myself for messing up, and then I strive to be mindful about what’s really going on.  Am I procrastinating for some reason?  Am I distracted?  Instead of telling myself that I’m “bad” or “undisciplined,” I try to productively uncover a more specific, solvable problem, and then address it.

In a nutshell, I remind myself that self-discipline is just a skill to be honed.  It’s simply the practice of overcoming distractions and focusing on what matters.  It involves acting according to what you know is right instead of how you feel in the moment (perhaps tired or lazy).  It typically requires sacrificing immediate pleasure and excitement for what matters most in life.  And it’s something that must be revisited, again and again.

But (there’s always a “but”)…

What do you do if your life is in complete disarray, you have hardly any self-discipline or beneficial routines, can’t stick to anything, procrastinate constantly, and feel miserably out of control?

How do you get started with practicing self-discipline when you have so many changes to make?

You start small. Very small.

If you don’t know where to start, let me suggest that you start by simply washing your dishes.  Yes, I mean literally washing your dishes.  It’s just one small step forward: When you eat your oatmeal, wash your bowl and spoon.  When you finish drinking your morning coffee, rinse the coffee pot and your mug.  Don’t leave any dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter for later.  Wash them immediately.

Form this small ritual one dish at a time, one day at a time.  Once you do this consistently for a couple weeks, you can start making sure the sink has been wiped clean too.  Then the counter.  Then put your clothes where they belong when you take them off.  Then start doing a few sit-ups every morning.  Eat a few vegetables for dinner.  And so forth.

Do one of these at a time, and you’ll start to build a healthy ritual of practicing self-discipline, and finally know yourself to be capable of doing what must be done… and finishing what you start.

But, again, for right now, just wash your dishes.  Mindfully, with a smile. (Marc and I build small, life-changing rituals like this with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of the Getting Back to Happy course.)

Your turn…

The next step forward is yours for the taking.  Just one step today—like washing your dishes—and then continue focusing on it for a few minutes a day going forward.  The key is making sustainable shifts in your beliefs and behavior.  That means practicing gradually, one step at a time, one day at a time, and letting your progress build over time.  Go from zero to 60 steps over the course of a couple months, not all at once.

Will it be easy?

Not likely.

But it will be worth it.

As you marshal forward in life, adversity is inescapable.  And it’s much like walking into a turbulent windstorm—as you fight to step onward, you not only gain strength, but it tears away from you all but the essential parts of you that cannot be torn.  Once you come out of the storm, you see yourself as you really are in raw form, without the baggage that’s been holding you back.

And that makes all the difference—because it frees you to take the next small step, and the next.

So tell me, which part of this article resonated with you the most?  Why does it resonate with you?

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

Marc and I would love to hear from YOU.  🙂

Also, if you haven’t done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week.

[jansegers]

Simple English Word List

SIMPLE1540 : a simple English wikipedia word list based on the XML export of all articles related to the nine major groups: Everyday life, Geography, History, Knowledge, Language, Literature, People, Religion, and Science and retaining all word forms appearing 7 times or more in this corpus. The total number of words in this corpus is well over the 100.000 words. a A.D. ability able about above absence abstinence abstract academic academy accent accept access accord account across act action active activity actual actually ad add addition adherent adjective adult advance advice affect after again against age agnostic agnosticism ago agree agreement agriculture air alcohol all allow ally almost alone along alphabet also although always amateur amendment among amount an analysis ancient and angel animal annals anonymous another answer anthropomorphism any anyone anything aphasia appear apple apply approach archaeology architecture area argue argument around arrange art article artificial artist ask aspect associate association astronomy at atheism atheist atomic attack attempt attribute audience author authority available average avoid award away B.C. baby back background backpack bad bah balance band baptism base basic basis battle BCE be bear beautiful beauty because become bed bee before begin behavior behind being belief believe believing belong below best better between beyond bias biblical bibliography big billion biological biology birth bit black blind blood blue body book born both bottom boundary box boy brain branch bring brown buffalo build building bull burn business but by c. ca. calendar call can cancer canon capital caption car carbon card carry case cassette cat category cathedral catholic cause cell center central century cerebral certain change chapel chapter character chemical chemistry child china China choice choir choose chronicle church circumcise circumcision cite citizen city civil civilian civilization claim clan class classical cleanup clear clergy click climate close closer clothes clothing coast coauthor code codex cognitive col cold collection college colonization colony color column com come commentary commission common commonly communicate communication communion communist community companion company compare competition complete complex compose composer computer concept conception concern condition confuse confusion congregational connect connection conquer conquest consciousness consider consistent constitution construct construction contain contemporary content context continent continue contrary control convention conversation conversion convert cook cooking copy core correct could council country course court cover covered create creation credit crime critical criticism crop cross crust cultural culture current currently daily damage dark data date day dead death debt decadence decadent decide declaration decline deconstruction deep define definition deity demonstrate denomination department depth describe description design detail determinism developed development device devil diagnosis dialect dictionary die difference different difficult difficulty diphthong dipstick direct directly dirt disagree disambiguation disbelief discipline discover discovery discussion disease disorder distance distinct distinction distinguish distribution divide divine do doctor doctrine document dog don't door down Dr. dream drink drown druid due during dynasty each earlier early earth easier easily easy eat economic economics economy ed edge edit edition editor education effect eight either electric electricity electronic element elevation else emperor empire encyclopedia end energy engine engineering enlightenment enough enter entertainment environment environmental epic episode equal era error especially establish etc. etymology even event eventually ever every everyday everyone everything evidence evil evolution evolve exact exactly example except exchange exist existence expansion experience experiment expert explain explanation express expression external extinct face fact failure fair faith fall false family famous far fast father feature feel feeling female feudal few fiction field fight figure file find finding fire first fish fit five fix flow folk follow food for force foreign foreskin form formal former fortune fought foundation founded four fourth frame framework free freedom frequently friend from front fruit full function functional further future gas general generally generation genre geographer geographic geographical geography geology geometry germ get give glass global go god gold golden good government grammar great greatly green ground group grow growth guide guillotine hair half hall hand handbook handicap handle happen happens happiness happy hard have he head heading health hear heat heaven help hemisphere her here heritage hero high highly him himself his historian historical historiography history hold holy home homo hope hot hour house how however human hundred hunter hypothesis hysteresis I ice icon idea identify identity if illiteracy illiterate illusory image importance important impossible improve in inc. incense include increase indeed independence independent indigenous individual industrial industry influence information inquiry inside instead institute institution instrument instrumentation intellectual intelligence interlinear internal international internet interpretation into introduce introduction invent invention involve iron island issue it IT itself job join journal journalism judge just keep key kill kind king kingdom know knowledge la LA label lack lake lamp land landlocked landscape language large last late later law lead leader leap learn learned least leave legacy legal legend let letter level lexeme library life light lightning like likely limited line linguistic linguistics link liquid list literacy literary literature little liturgy live local location logic logical long longer look lord lore lose lot love low lower mac machine magazine magic magnetic magnum mail main mainly major make male mammal man mankind manuscript many map march March mark market mass material mathematical mathematics matter may May me mean meaning meant measure measurement meat median medical medicine medieval mediterranean medium meet member memory men mental mention mercury message metal method mid middle might migrate migration military millennium million mind minister minute misconception miss model modern modernism modernist moment money monologue monophthong month monument moon moral morality more morning most mostly mother mount mountain mouth move movement much museum music musical musicians must my myth mythology name narrative nation national nationality native natural naturalism naturally nature near nearly necessarily necessary need negative neither neologism network neurogenesis neuron neuroscience never new news newspaper next night nine no non none nor normal normally not note nothing noun novel now nuclear number object objective objectivity observation observe occupation occur ocean octane of off offer office official officially often oil old older on once one online only open opera opposite or oral orbit order org organization organize origin original originally orthography orthology other others our out outer outside over own oxygen p. pack pagan page paint palace paper paradigm parent parish park part participant particular particularly party pas pass past pasta pattern pay peace peer penguin penis people per percent percentage perception performance perhaps period peroxide persecution person personal personality perspective persuasion pet phenomenon philosopher philosophical philosophy phoneme phonetic phonetics photo phrase physic physical picture piece pilgrimage place plan planet plant plat plate play please poem poems poet poetry point pole police policy political politics polytheism polytheistic popular population position positive possession possible possibly post power powerful pp. practical practice praise pray prayer precise predict prediction prehistory present preserve press prevent priest primary principle print printing private probably problem process produce product production professional program project pronounce pronunciation proof property prophet propose prose proselytism protection protein provide province psychological psychology public publication publish publisher publishing punishment pure purpose put pyramid quantum question quickly quite quote race racial rack radiation radio rain range rate rather read reader real realism reality really reason receive recent recently reclamation recognize record recreation red ref refer reference referred reform reformation regard region reign rejection relate relation relationship relatively relativity reliable relic religion religious remain remember remove renaissance replace report republic request require research researcher resource respect response result resurrection retrieve return revelation revert review revision revival revolution rhetoric rich right rise ritual river rock role room royal rule ruled ruler run rural sacred sacrifice safe saga sage saint salad same sample satellite saw say schizophrenia scholar school science scientific scientist scope sea search second secondary section secular see seek seem selection self sense sent sentence separate sequence series service set seven several sexual shall shaman shape share she short should show shrine side sign significant silence similar simple simply since single situation six size skill skin slavery sleep slightly slow small smell smith snake so social society sociology soft soil solar soldier solid soliloquy some someone something sometimes song soon sortable sound source space speak speaker special specie specific speech speed spell spirit spiritual spirituality split sport spread square st. stage stain standard star start state statement station statistic statistical statue status stick still stone stop story strange strap strong structure struggle stub student study stutter style subject successful such sugar suggest sun sung sunlight superior superiority supernatural support suppose supreme sure surface survey surveyor sushi sustainability sustainable sweat symbol symbolic system table take talk tam tan task teach teacher teaching technique technology tectonics teeth tell temperature template temple ten term terminology territory tertiary test testament text textual than thank that the their theism them themselves then theology theoretical theory therapy there therefore thesaurus these they thick thing think third this those though thought thousand three through throughout thumb thus ticket tight time title to today together toilet tolerance toleration tongue too tool top topic total towards tower trade tradition traditional train translation transport travel treat treatment tree trench trial tribe tried trig true truth try turn twentieth twenty two type typical typically ultimate ultraviolet under understand understood union unit united universal universe university unknown unsortable until up upon upper urban urbanization usage use useful usually valley value van vandalism various vassal vegetable verb verbal verse version very video view violence virgin visit vitamin vocabulary voice vol. volume vowel vs. wale wall want war warm warmer wash waste water wave way we weak wealth wear weather web website weight well what when where whether which while white who whole whom whose why wide widely wild wilderness will window wisdom wise witch witchcraft with within without witness woman word work worker world worship would write writer writing wrong yam year yellow you young your

China, March and May made this list because china, march and may are on it and I didn't want to decide in favor of the common noun or the proper noun; all other proper nouns have been omitted (even the ten other months that met the criterium of appearing more then 6 times). #SimpleWikipedia #SimpleEnglish #wordlist #English #words #level1540 #Inli #nimi #selo1540