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abominationvault · 2 months ago

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Session 52: Sat 21 Sep 2024

Last week, we fought an Irnakurse and won, barely. Oh that’s right - we found a pub and Nadia got shitfaced. Then she found a key…

No Luna and Sprocket this week, they’re in Macclesfield, but Skabb and Jorg’ath are back yay! Baby Skabb is having a bad week, so Skabb and Jorg’ath are as well. Dragon Age Veilguard? We don’t want to because it’s going to be hot garbage, but we basically have to. Laura Bailey is in it, so. The DM wishes Matthew Mercer would go away. Just for like, six months or so.

Skabb and Jorg’ath join us in the laboratory; Skabb takes one look at Hartvig and wonders if he’s been trying to date again. Nadia finds some doors to the south and starts drunkenly stuffing the key into the keyhole to see if it fits. It doesn’t. It isn’t locked though. She stands aside to let Jorg’ath kick it in; he smashes it with his head. There’s something in there! Nadia is in no state to be diplomatic and Jorg’ath isn’t much for polite conversation at the best of times so we stand side and let Hartvig have a look. It looks like a demon, we’ve seen one before:

We close the doors for a minute and do some healing. Skabb splats some mud on Hartvig and Nadia. We fling the doors open again and go down the corridor, to see if it’ll talk to us or attack. It sees him, and a voice in his head tells him to “Get out of here! The tavern’s back that way, you have no business here.”

Jorg’ath refuses and steps forwards.

“That’s close enough,” the Zebub says.

“Where is Jafaki,” Nadia shouts from the back, but she doesn’t speak celestial or infernal so it won’t speak to her. Perception check - 17. It might be the drink, but she swears she sees his face tighten. Are we working for him, it asks? “Yeah,” Nadia shouts.

“… Follow me.”

He leads us down the corridor and tells us he will announce us.

Were we supposed to kill him…? Yeah, something to do with Chuffcum. Well the turn order appears so it looks like we’re in trouble either way.

The doors open and we see this…

… That's not Jafaki. This guy probably hates Jafaki. And now he thinks we work for him...

The barbazu approaches first. (Hartvig: “Look at us, funnelled into a little killbox!”) It slashes at Jorg’ath with his glaive (miss) and his magic beard (hit). 13 piercing damage, and a Fortitude save? 23. He saves. From what, we don’t know.

Skabb is next, but she’s AFK so Jorg’ath goes. 33 hits for 15 slashing damage, nice. 18 missesHeroPoint12. Lastly he would like to “grapple his bad self. Ooh! Actually! No! Wait! Actually…” He uses his lightning tongue to try and disarm him instead. 27 to the Barbie’s 18, yay! Its grip on its glaive is weakened.

Skabb does a Slashing Gust, 29 to hit against Barbie and Fly Guy. Both take 8 slashing damage. Then Clinging Ice against Beardy: Reflex save 22, it rolls a 21! Full damage, 6 Cold. Nice. Grabby gets her own move, but there’s not much she can do so she flies up to the ceiling.

Hartvig is next. “… Okay, fine.” He does Needle Darts but it misses, and then a Heal.

Nadia recalls knowledge - 5. She gets a crit with a tanglefoot bag with her crossbow, though! 30 damage and 3 persistent Bleed damage.

The zebub summons a spider swarm behind us. Hartvig: “You - stop it!” It bites Hartvig twice. (Skabb, salivating: “I just want to eat them.”) They bite at all of us forcing Reflex saves, but we all manage to dodge out of the way.

Another zebub appears in front of Nadia and attacks her with its mandibles, doing 12 piercing and 5 evil damage. Yuck. Another bites at Skabb. “No thank you, I do the biting around here.” 28 hits, for 8 piercing and 3 evil and a Fortitude save - 24.

The Barbie Dimension Doors out, the coward.

Jorg’ath goes further into the room, feeling something bubbling away in his little tummy, and does a big lizard-sick!

The first and second Zebub make the save and take half damage, and the third fails. 6d6 - 25! (12 for the halfsies.) Jorg’ath gets a Hero Point for using his fancy new ability.

Skabb has an identity crisis, because she thought she was the gross one in the party. She doesn’t take kindly to being bitten so she does it back - 20 misses. Hero Point! This is important to her pride. 18. Now she isn’t the grossest OR the bitiest. She is very sad. She casts Breathe Fire, making eye contact with Jorg’ath the entire time. The zebub green-saves. “Is that the one I didn’t bite, as well?” It is. The other takes half damage. Skabb sinks to the floor in a proper grump.

Hartvig finds himself in a cloud of spiders. Should he waste time squishing them, or…? It would be beneficial to get rid of them. He could swat at them with his staff…? He does Needle Darts instead, hoping to needle-snipe them out of the air. 22 - Howdydoodis! He does finger pistols, and snipes them all out of the air, and they disappear. (Skabb slumps even further to the ground. Now she doesn’t even get to eat spiders after the fight.) Hartvig puts his shield up.

Nadia stabs one with her bayonet, but misses her second attack. 9 damage, not too bad.

Skabb's zebub attacks her, and she aces her Fortitude save. Mandibles again - 24 to hit, does. 8 piercing and 3 evil. Third bite! “Oh, you’re shitting me.” It misses horribly though. “I’m on fourteen hit points so bear that in mind, you meanie.”

19 misses Nadia, and it Dimension Doors away. Another one flanks someone, possibly Nadia but it’s behind me so I can't see. It’s gone up to Hartvig. “Stop it!” he shouts and flaps at it. 33 misses him. “I need a bigger shield.” He fails his Fortitude save. He does not know what the effect of this is, however…

Jorg’ath’s go, and he comes back up toward the door and "cuts him, real good". 28 hits, and does 11 slashing and some acid. “How is he smellin’? Is he doing bad?” He doesn’t want it to hurt Skabb so he hits it again - howdydoodis! Stabs it with the sword, brings it to the ground and sort of… wibbles the sword around. “I got you buddy!” he says to Skabb in broken goblin. (Hartvig: “What’s goblin sound like, is it mainly screams and smells?”)

Skabb wants to parkour off Jorg’ath’s face and plant a big slightly slug-scented kiss on his cheek as she goes - 19 Acrobatics. Not the most elegant, but it works. She’s got the red mist and isn’t thinking straight so she bites the zebub, misses, Hero Points for a 26! “Yum?” “Yeah that hits!” “YAY!”

Hartvig turns to see the one behind him. “Eurgh! Oh I hate it.” He doesn’t want to waste spell slots so he Needle Darts it right in its belly but 20 misses. Hero Point - 22? Hits! Howdy doodis! “I'm gonna burst the little fucker. Splat!”

We win!

Before we do anything else the DM tells us they weren’t carrying anything so it won’t be worth picking through the remains unless Skabb wants a snack. She decides she’s not hungry. Hartvig has a look at the torture implements in here. Perception check: 13. It might be because he’s still stupefied, but one of the shields looks quite shiny. He can’t figure out what’s rubbish and what’s worth taking. He compares the shield he’s found to his old one.

Stupefied as she also still is, Nadia can tell Hartvig he’s found a cold iron shield, standard grade. It’s effective against fey and some other creatures, and he could use the metal for his Needle Darts spell!

Skabb finds not one but two +1 glaives. Jorg’ath takes one. There are also some flasks I think? And some kukri, a bloodletting one. She can’t use it, but we could sell it or keep it for Luna. There are some runes in it. Let’s keep it for Luna. Skabb wipes some blood on it and pops it into her bag.

Hartvig busts out a Level 3 Heal for Skabb - 3d8+24! Which brings her back up to 53 of 54. He does a Level 2 on himself. Skabb does a mud plaster on Nadia. Green 32! As she’s an Expert, she can roll 4d8+10!

Jorg’ath does a Heal on himself, healing himself back to his full 108 hp. Nadia wonders about the Evil damage - that’s healing up alright, yes? Yes it is. And what about Hartvig’s failed save? That’s fine too, yes? He feels no effects. Hmm. That sounds like DM for "Go ahead. Forget about that. See what happens."

We mooch around checking for stuff. Hartvig collects some of the small torture implements. He finds one that’s sort of pear-shaped. There are all sorts of needles and pincers and stuff. It’s covered in some kind of blood. Skabbins prances around pressing her nasty little hands against the walls, looking for secret doors, but finds only maggots - she is delighted!

Nadia and Jorg’ath find some doors and Jorg’ath opens one and finds this…

Nadia, immediately: "Shutthedoorshutthedoorshutthedoor!!!!"

It’s an enormous snake-like creature, that looks to be made of bits of other creatures. One of the heads seems to be a drider. The DM gives us a 'hard no' to trying to tackle this while we’re down two members, so we creep away. The room it is in is the arena floor.

We can draw on the map, but there’s a three-dick rule - three dicks and we get our drawing privileges taken away. (Skabb: “[Jorg’ath]’s not satisfied until he’s had four.”) Skabb draws the creature on the floor in the corridor outside the room so that when we come back here we will know where it is.

We turn back along the corridor, and Jorg’ath finds the pub. We could ask in there about the big bugger?

There is another corridor to the north - Jorg’ath goes to investigate. He boots the door open in his usual subtle-as-a-brick manner, to see some yellow viscous muck drip down onto the floor. Skabb taffy! It’s killin’ time. He also sees our chains that we dangled down from the layer above!

Skabb: “Is that the stuff you get around a pork pie?”

The jellies go first. 33 to hit Jorg’ath - “That does in fact hit me.” They do acid damage - his scales hiss and fizz, but it has no effect on his armour. It also makes a grab for him. Fortitude save - 23 to its 29. It pulls him into itself, Constricting him… Another Fortitude save, 30 this time so he only takes half damage.

It slops forward and hits Nadia, and grapples her as well, but hasn’t absorbed her yet. She tries to escape but doesn’t make the DC.

Hartvig: “Ohhhhhh… I raise my shield.” He doesn’t really, but there is something new he could try…? He does Whispers of Weakness:

It doesn’t have weaknesses, so he learns its immunities instead: acid, crits, electricity, mental, piercing, I can’t keep up. A lot of stuff. Slashing? Precision, Unconscious, and Visual. Even from magical weapons. It’s weakest save is Reflex, however. Oh, good, that'll help.

Hartvig casts Spiritual Armament, and flings a facsimile of his staff at the first jelly - 19 hits! 9 damage, and he can sustain it every turn. It’s bludgeoning damage so it takes all of it. Nice.

Little Skabbins has a question. If she hits the jelly will it hurt Jorg’ath? He’s not engulfed yet so no. She does Blazing Dive and positions herself so she can get both of them. 22 hits and they take the fire and bludgeoning damage! Skabb wins TWO HERO POINTS, and Hartvig gets one as well, both for choosing damage types it’s not immune to. With one action left she uses her focus spell - this only hits one creature so she targets the one holding Jorg’ath.

Grabby gets an independent move, but uses it to fly to the ceiling again.

Is Jorg’ath still bound? Yes he is. He makes an attempt to un-grapple himself. He fails, but goes for a tail whip - 19 hits for 8 bludgeoning damage. It also takes the poison damage!

Nadia is able to do bludgeoning damage with her guns so she switches the crossbow for Alkonost, and fires away - two hits, one would be a crit but it’s immune.

Hartvig lets loose his Spiritual Armament - 12 hits, as does 20, the 3 misses. 13 bludgeoning total, very nice.

The one holding Jorg’ath reaches out for Skabb - 34 is a big old critical hit. 40 bludgeoning and 8 acid. She’s not quite having a lie down yet but she’s not far off. Fortitude save - 27 to its 22! It fails to grab her. It constricts twice, dealing some damage to Jorg’ath. Fortitude is right in his wheel house - one failure and one success. 18 damage total to him. “Thanks!”

The second one moves to try and grab Grabby, and as the ceilings are lower in here it very well might. It hits her, and she takes 17 damage. Fortitude save, as it tries to grapple her - 16 to its 25, and it has her grabbed. It uses its last action to squish Nadia and Grabby Cat, and they both fail and take 6 damage each.

Skabb casts a spell, first of all: Hydraulic Push. 18 hits! 22 damage, nice nice. She drinks a potion for her last action. She’s got a wand…? She uses that instead, as it’ll heal her more. 2d8, 14. “Oooh, yum!” Grabby uses her action to try and escape - 20 to its 30. DM: “You should have rolled a critical success.”

Jorg’ath goes next. “I’m not gonna free myself, I’m just gonna beat him with my tail some more.” He does an Intimidating Strike! Unfortunately it’s a mental effect, and the jelly is immune. Jorg’ath: “... This guy fucking sucks.” 25 hits with the tail for 9 bludgeoning and 4 poison. 19 hits for 8 more bludgeoning and 4 poison, 16 also hits for 9 bludgeoning and 4 more poison.

The jelly batters the goblin again - 19 misses. She cackles. It constricts Jorg’ath twice - two Fortitude saves. 33 saves! He takes 3 from that and ten from the fail.

The second one slorps down the corridor and smashes Hartvig - but it misses. “I hate it! Stop it!” 15 also misses, and now it has no actions left to squish Nadia or Grabby!

Nadia reloads, shoots for a bunch of damage, and tries to wiggle free but can’t quite manage it even with a Hero Point.

Hartvig unleashes Spiritual Armament again, but misses a couple of times. Booh. He Hero Points the second attack - 19! 13 damage yay!

Skabbins casts Scatter Scree, but manages to roll appalling damage - 5 total, on 4d4. Grabby makes another escape attempt but the jelly rolls really well. The DM apologises, because Grabby goes through enough without being Grappled by jellies.

Jorg’ath whips his tail back and forth: 24, 24 to hit, and it’s looking raggedy. 22 to hit for 9 more damage.

The jelly has another go at grabbin’ the goblin, misses, and crushes the lizard instead. He takes 11 from the first crush and 20 from the second. “I… am running out of hit points.”

The other one has another try for Hartvig. Morosely: “Awww, I’ve been grabbed.” 49. “49… Damage?” Yes. He is still alive. Fortitude save: 12 to its 23. It crushes Hartvig, Nadia and Grabby. 7 damage to Hartvig, and he is down. 25 damage to Nadia, and she’s still up. Grabby also goes down.

(Note for next week: Hartvig is no longer curse-bound.)

Nadia reloads, shoots, then reloads - but manages 10 damage.

Death save for Hartvig - 14! One success, and he is stabilised.

Skabb does another Blazing Dive, and kills the jelly holding Jorg’ath! She dives bombs it, and it evaporates into a “hot, icky sauna. Did I find any marrow, please?” (She did not.) The other one crit-fails its save, and takes 36 damage! Then she whips out her wand of Force Barrage and shoots that for 2 Force damage.

Jorg’ath pops out the door, and does his new Dragon’s Rage Breath - 21 damage! The jelly fails the save, quite badly, and takes double damage - howdy doodis! His head spins around Exorcist style and he makes a noise that makes even Skabb feel sick. Final Fantasy Fanfare!

The DM makes us fix Hartvig before we leave. Skabb splats what he hopes is mud on him. "It smells a bit pooey."

The room the jellies were in contained operating tables and rusty equipment. And of course, our chains. Skabb takes a look. If we offered food to any ochre jellies we find in the future, she thinks, they might not attack. The ones here seemed to be being used as sort of garbage disposals. She finds an elaborate key with a four-pronged design, and hangs it around her neck. She also finds a chain shirt, steel shield, 3 daggers, a pick, several caltrops, (Nadia’s!), professional fishing tackle, (Jorg'ath: "That feels like Hartvig’s bag"), a spyglass, 14 pitons, and 30 feet of chain for Hartvig.

#dnd #pathfinder #abomination vaults #abomination vaults spoilers

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