#I do love clowns but it’s more of an affection and appreciation not a kink

[insanechayne]

please God don’t let me be attracted to fucking Art the Clown from Terrifier 🫠

[lliminall]

yan!phantom troupe and annoying things they do during sex

enough dick riding it’s time to clown on these hoes

tags: NSFW/MDNI, she/her reader, yandere but some of these could read as non-yan tbh, dubcon, anal, public sex, oral (female receiving), awkward sex lmao

chrollo

now y’all listen…I know we all love to think of chrollo as a sex god, and I like to think of him as being very skilled in bed too, but this man is still human and I’m prepared to roast the shit out of him for it

chrollo is good at sex. he certainly thinks he knows your preferences better than you do, and infuriatingly, he’s got the skill to back it up more often than not. but when he does get it wrong….oh lord he gets it wrong

it’s not even anything particularly egregious. maybe you’re lubed up and dripping wet and he’s just having a little more trouble staying on your clit than usual. typical man behavior but what makes it unbearably awkward is that he doesn’t seem to recognize that he’s struggling.

you two have been going for a while, and fuck he’s worked up, and his fingers just can’t quite find that perfect spot. I see him doing that thing where he’s rubbing your left lip and you try to move his hand to your clit, but he moves it back and says something like “no, you can take it.” sir….wtf do you think I’m taking lmao. he’s so confident in it though that you can hardly find it in yourself to correct him. maybe it’s best if you just let him have this

I think there would also be this constant sense that he wanted something out of you from this, beyond the sex, but he would never voice it outright. he wants a deep, genuine intimacy from you, and he feels like the better he can fuck you the more inclined you’ll be to grow real feelings for him. your life with him can’t be that bad if he makes you feel so good, right? he’s so attentive and considerate in bed, and he could give you all of that everyday if you would just let him

he would almost use it in a pavlovian sense, coaxing you into letting him give you an orgasm whenever you’re irritated with him, so you start to shove down those feelings of animosity in anticipation of his touch. he’s an asshole lmao and when you catch on to what he’s doing, it’s going to taint every future sexual interaction you have with him. he craves genuine intimacy from you but isn’t capable of giving it himself. you can never really appreciate his gestures of affection because they’re all self-serving and manipulative.

pakunoda

reads your mind like she owns the rights to it and I don’t know about y’all but that’s basically my worst nightmare lmao. she’ll ask you what you’re into with a hand on your shoulder and now she knows about all of your embarrassing kinks and fantasies. she will absolutely use it to her advantage in bed as well

I think she could also use this to blur the lines of consent just a bit, in certain circumstances. she’ll run her fingers down your arm, asking you with little subtlety if you’d like to join her on the bed, and you can refuse but if your memories tell her that you were sort of into it the last time she tried, she’ll use it as an excuse to keep pushing you. gently, of course. she would never dream of outright forcing herself on you, she’s just…coaxing. manipulatively. with information about your sexual preferences that you never wanted her to be aware of to begin with

if you’re unaware of her nen ability I think it would be unnerving, the way she’s so in tune with your innermost thoughts and desires. she could use this to her favor, setting herself up as the person who was made for you, a soulmate almost, with the ability to understand you and love you more deeply than anyone else possibly could.

if you do know about her nen ability, it would put you in a near constant state of anxiety. you can’t hide anything from her. you have virtually no privacy. every little touch from her is going to have your mind racing, reading into every question she asks you for possible memories it could dig up that you do NOT want her to know. in this circumstance, I don’t think she would use her ability so often, because she wouldn’t want you to be constantly on edge around her, but the fear would still be there.

feitan

he’s sadistic and an asshole and self-serving and rough. I could write a dissertation on all the ways sex with feitan could potentially suck lmaooo but I’ll try to narrow it down here. I think we’ve all seen plenty of content about his tendencies for sadism in sex, so I’ll try to think a bit out of the box for these

he’s quiet. very quiet. you could be giving this man that power wash 3000 sloppy toppy and the most noise you’ll get out of him is like, some heavy breathing and the occasional grunt. sir how am I supposed to know if I’m doing well or not?? I love writing him as a dirty talker but I feel like unless he was doing it to tease or degrade you he wouldn’t have much to say

I think, especially in a situation where he and darling have been together for a while, he would put real effort into making it feel good for you, too. not only as a display of dominance, proving that he can have his way with your body and pull whatever reactions he wants from you, but also because you look so, so good squirming and making those sweet faces under him

this is where things have the potential to get awkward, because when feitan is putting in genuine effort, there’s the potential for him to fail, and failure is vulnerability. and feitan does not do vulnerability.

I think a prime example of this would be if he were to go down on you. eating someone out is such an intimate gesture. if you’ve ever had someone go down on you but they weren’t quite good enough to get you off, you know how awkward it is to pull them back up to your face and convince them to just try something else lol. this is not something you could do with feitan.

telling feitan that what he’s doing isn’t working for you is almost never a good idea, especially when he’s already putting himself out there by trying to do something nice-ish for you. it would embarrass him a little bit, and it would reinforce the idea he had when he first went yandere for you, that the best way for him to deal with his feelings is by exerting total dominance and ignoring any impulse he has to show you a more affectionate side. you can’t hurt him if he never shows you his soft spots.

so just play into it until he figures out what really gets you going. unless he explicitly tells you to show him what feels good for you, you’re better off faking orgasms and taking care of yourself in the shower later. it’s not all bad; he’ll be in a much better mood and eventually it may even encourage him to try being nicer outside of the bedroom. I hope you’re a good actress lmao

machi

this poor woman is tsundere to the point of self sabotage. obviously she must like you because otherwise she wouldn’t keep you around constantly, but she can NOT tell you that or make any sort of gesture that would make it obvious, at least not in the beginning. it’s just a little intimidating for her. to be honest you might have to be the one to suggest sex, because otherwise it will take her ages to work up the courage to risk being rejected by you

the actual act of sex will have you wondering if you ever should have brought it up to begin with because…she can not relax into it. in a normal relationship I don’t think she would be so intimidated by it, but in a yan relationship she is hyper aware of the disparity in power between you

she doesn’t expect you to ever genuinely return her feelings, even though she desperately wants it, and she’ll be second-guessing everything that happens leading up to and during the act. do you really want her like that? are you just doing it because you think it’s what she wants? I mean, she does, but not at the expense of your full and willing consent. are you doing it to manipulate her? to butter her up to something? she can’t pull herself out of her head long enough to just enjoy it

on the bright side I think this would cause her to develop a preference for eating you out. laying you out on your back and sinking to her knees would keep you from seeing her face, allowing her to almost hide from you. so you can’t look through her. can’t see the conflicting impulses flit through her expressions. it also gives her a perfect view as your hips roll and your lips part in pleasure, so she can take in all of those beautiful sights and sounds with little vulnerability on her end

shalnark

he’s selfish lol. I do think he would enjoy getting you off, but his pleasure is first priority. in the beginning of your sexual relationship he would diligently bring you to orgasm every time you slept together, because he wants you to eventually be the one coming to him for sex. it took so long to talk you into it in the first place, he does not want to undo all of that work by fucking up and not making it enjoyable for you

as you both get used to it though, he would get comfortable with getting himself off and then flopping over and falling asleep if you didn’t manage to come in the time it took him to finish. not that he would do it every time, but still. asshole

I also think he’s one of the kinkier members of the phantom troupe, and if your kinks don’t happen to align with his then tough luck lmaooo he’s getting what he wants one way or another. I think he would enjoy dressing you up in super feminine lingerie. the guy’s a gamer and you can NOT convince me he isn’t at least a little bit into the cat girl aesthetic

If you happen to like the maid dresses and cat ears and collars with the little bells, then boy you two are going to get along well, but if it’s not your thing you aren’t going to have much fun slipping it on anyway and putting on an act for him. if you do it well enough he’ll eat you out though, so there’s some motivation

anal? I think anal. I think he’d at least want to give it a shot. he wants to claim every hole you’ve got to offer at some point. depending on the mood he’s in though, he may not have the patience to stretch you out well enough before sliding his cock in, and taking a dick up your ass while underprepped is not a fun time

he wouldn’t want to make you cry or anything, he still wants you to enjoy sex with him, but he would also expect you to be tough enough to deal with a certain amount of pain until you relaxed enough to enjoy it. he is such a prick

phinks

the man is obnoxiously horny. unbearably horny. his hand is on your ass 24/7. you could just be unloading the dishwasher, standing on your tiptoes putting up plates, and you turn to look over your shoulder and see him staring at the space where your shirt has lifted up and exposed the lines of your hips and the dimples on your back. bricked up in .6 seconds over nothing I stg

in his ideal world you would be just as horny as he is, but the average darling will just not be able to keep up, and so a lot of your sessions will just be him fucking you hard and fast to get himself off without taking up too much of your time. he does want you to come, but he also doesn’t want to rub your clit raw.

I could see him getting into thigh-fucking as a necessity because of this, he’s a strong dude and when you’re too sore from last night to give him anything more in the morning, the man learns to make do

I think he’d have a thing for risky sex. semi-public stuff like asking you to suck him off in an empty parking lot, fingering you under the table in the back of a restaurant just after rush hour. he wouldn’t force you into it if you were uncomfortable, but he would still tease you with it because he thinks it’s funny to get a rise out of you. sliding his hand up your thigh until you swat at him and glare before frantically looking around at the tables next to you to see if they noticed.

unrelated to sex but on the topic of pissing you off for fun, he’d also 100% dutch oven you. pinning you under the blankets and cackling like a bastard while you gag and claw for freedom. I hate him lol

shizuku

I think a lot of sex with her would be very self-serving. it’s not that she doesn’t care if you come, it’s just that she gets so in her head sometimes that she forgets to worry about making you feel good, too. if you want to come consistently with her, you’re going to have to put in the work yourself. she’s just a little bit of a pillow princess

I see her as having a relatively low sex-drive as well, so if she doesn’t get you off it may be a while before you have a chance to try again with her. she would climax every time you slept together though. she isn’t one for the “sex is about the journey not the destination” philosophy lol, she’s in it to get off. now if only she would apply that same line of thinking towards you…

is so direct with her dirty talk it feels almost clinical. maybe it couldn’t really be called dirty talk at all lol. “spread yourself open. how many fingers do you want?” “come over here, I want you to go down on me. actually, just lie on your back. tap me if you need to breathe.”

uvogin

I know it’s fun to read about taking guys with huge 8 inch schlongs and getting absolutely wrecked but y’all…it’s average dick supremacy in this house. you know how tiring it would be spending ages stretching yourself out and working up to take this man’s dick? who’s got the timeee as an occasional thing I get it but dude…on the regular that would get old real fast 😭

and I do think he would want to take the time to stretch you out. he’s another yandere that wants you to genuinely want him, and because of his strength he’s also worried that if he doesn’t take the time to prep you, he could accidentally hurt you. the upside is that with the amount of foreplay you two will be doing, he’s going to get very familiar with your body very fast

another man who’s constantly horny. slapping your ass, pinching your tits, pressing his hips into you from behind and cupping your crotch. maybe that sounds like something you’d be into, but I think it’d get annoying at some point. like sir…you’re just gonna stand there and squeeze my ass while I’m trying to cook us dinner? at least pick up a knife and start chopping this celery ffs

he’s also a little bit condescending about it? he likes the obvious power imbalance between you two. he likes the way you squeak and scramble to catch your balance when he hooks an arm between your legs and hoists you up onto his shoulder with no warning. it’s cute. you’re so helpless. and if you try to tell him off, even better! it’s like watching a kitten flash it’s claws at him, but instead of throwing you some cat treats and scratching behind your ears it just makes all the blood rush to his dick

[janumun]

Among The Wild (General NSFW Headcanons - Leona Kingscholar)

Game: Twisted Wonderland Rating: NSFW/18+ Warnings: oral sex, (mild) overstimulation, body worship, slight D/s themes, penetrative sex, polyamory, double vaginal penetration, breeding kink

Author's Notes: Written as a surprise (HAARDDD TO KEEP QUIET) for my thirst sister-in-arms, @beni-draw-ikemen-please and because I was clown enough to miss giving her some love on her birthday. And also, all my appreciation for her general goodness, her judgement-free attitude, just pure hornin' and ikemen love she brings into my life, for our shared favorite fictional interests. I hope this makes you smile Beni and I hope you enjoy my pick of Leona's wildcard head-canons because I know how much you dig those ~ideas~ ;)) in particular. ILU 2 da🌙 'n back!!

Leona has lived his entire life within gossamer luxury; envy to most. On the surface: an esteemed prince of Afterglow Savannah, swaddled within the comfort of royalty. None aware of the disgrace and contempt slathered upon his every move, every breath within those castle walls. That glorified façade �� no more than a gilded cage.

Feared, loathed; they don’t whisper of their derision of his cursed magic to his face, they never do, the cowards.

The ‘respect’ he does receive, a mere sham he sees through… sycophants genuflecting to curry specious favor with royalty, in hopes of garnering the attentions of King Farena, it seethes and sickens him to his core.

But you.

He might never admit it out loud, might never utter words to affirm the weight of your affections — deep and true — what they do to him.

Leona’s approach to sex is physicality at its very root. He will touch and adore you, as is to be bestowed by Savannah’s Prince upon his Beloved — make love to you with the entirety of his being. Not a spot left untouched, not a sound he doesn’t wrangle out of your aching throat. Your body inside and out: heart, soul… that place he settles himself deep in between your legs, all his.

But when you make it your goal to showcase your own pride within your love for the man…

Set to worshipping him — just him — within the bedroom; the way Leona’s cock tightens at the sensation of you dusting gentle kisses across his hair, his face. Reverence within your posture as you move to sink in between his legs, those eyes never leaving his as you do, glittering in joy and so very loving, as if you hail him alone, as your Monarch.

Berries fused onto cheeks so ripe, he could bite into you, watching as you request permission to love him entirely. And when he utters it on a low grunt, the pull of your mouth into a happy smile before it moves to slip across the tip of him and his mind blanks. Your soft thank you for your benevolence amidst other thank yous you litter right against his length in between kisses: for letting you taste, for letting you love him and how you desire him terribly. Your treatment of him, as if he might've laid the universe's very stars at your feet. This kind of devotion is entirely too much and not enough, all at once, he has to have you.

And he does, cock throbbing harder at the prospect of being settled deep in between your legs as he wrenches you off of your feet and onto his lap. Covetous digits, sharp nails sheering panties apart to sink you down onto him in one swift stroke. Continuing throughout the night to praises and screams of my King.

Your King alone.

Not much is as sexually arousing as the scent of you…

Your clothes when they’re strewn about, courtesy of the previous night. Your hands when they reach to cup his face, the delicate scent of hand lotion, soap and you. Your hair as he drops his head against you when he has you wrapped within his arms. Your neck, your breasts, your belly. Leona’s going to be exploring all over and enjoy it.

The intoxicating scent of a human’s arousal, different than a beast’s, but it wafts over pleasant for him. Face buried in between your legs as he noses across your drenched opening, powerful arms gripping you to stillness, try as you might to squirm away from the sensation. And then…

Leona absolutely relishes the experience of letting you flood his senses; a hungry tongue follows that scent to its source before dragging that bundle of nerves in between his lips. Suckling; broad tongue swiping to gather the dew you spill, not a single drop he lets go to waste.

Let the Second Prince enjoy his meal of you, for as long as possible, rocking eager hips upon his face, even if he does not let you stray far, kissing, licking, biting his territory in between your legs, your thighs blossoming in pink. The flare of your hips marred in red from how hard those nails dig into your flesh, heightening that sense of pleasure, until you’re falling.

And yet, he’s not done, tongue working to slide gentle strokes across your oversensitive sex as he laps you up entirely for his own.

His oral fixation extends to any and all parts of you; as do his marks across your skin, your breasts, the back of your neck, across your ass, some of his favorite parts of you along with your pussy.

Leona has never been particularly interested in having children of his own; his own heat and desires he takes care of, often pumped and blown into a fist.

He’s in no hurry for a stranger to nurse any waif of his; not ready to bear the burden of raising a starry-eyed mtoto, to throw them in to discover ugly politics and subterfuge from their tender years. To have them know of envy, to have their place decided due to order of birth. He’s seen and knows enough of it to steer clear of Farena’s constant pleas to make his own family.

With you, that boundary in between desire and instinct blurs each second he finds himself within you; swollen walls clamping around him, a vice, heavy with your slick and his, he grapples to breathe through the sensation. Fingers tracing jerking patterns across the expanse of your stomach as he draws back slow, only to regain his place within, hard. Thumbs pressing in tight at your belly as if he could feel for himself against the entrance to your womb. A womb where you’d bear his child.

The thought’s enough to wrench a mangled snarl from the depths of his throat. Caught in between the desire for family with you and rebellion against royal duty…

He requires time, to work and relax into this relationship, to speak of what he wishes from the two of you, together. To realize, with you, his family needn’t be chained to age old customs, to the fate he seems so adamant to punish himself with.

“Don’t think any young’un could go wrong with you as its mother, kidege,” uttered with an uneven pull to that smile he angles at you; sweetly amused verdant gaze catching yours before he sinks to catch your lip in between gentle teeth. Gloved hand slipping across the expanse of your abdomen and straight in between your legs to worry at your warmth above panties, damp with slick. “Hey, bear my children.” The lightest of pressures, two fingers curve to brush into your slit and you shudder. “…Take me in here, won’t you? Ha… and don’t waste any of it.” He growls.

[Two] Wildcards

Warnings: contains exploration of sexual dynamics with Leona/Reader/Jade and Leona/Reader/Overblot Leona. Please do not read past this point if you think this might not be your cup of tea. 🙇🏽‍♀️

1. (If) A Polyamorous Relationship with Jade…

…is not easy; just as hard won. Leona does not care to associate with Azul nor any of his slithering, scheming eel bastards. And to know you harbor affections for one of them; the more dangerous of the twins, is not something he’s ready to accept for a long, long time.

However, if the price for the elder Leech’s disposal from your life is your smile and your happiness, fuck that. It’s a pain in the ass and he’s not willing to pay that high a penalty. And giving you up, now that he has you is not even an option he’s considering. Carnivores are territorial beasts, after all. He’s yours entirely, as much as you are his. Polygamy is not uncommon within the Afterglow Savannah and if you truly wish to love him along with the Leech…

That dominance to rule and protect does however manifest within the bedroom and to say these dynamics are just a little too hot is an understatement.

The Leech may not be as easily deciphered, but Leona witnesses that low burn of affection and possession burning within Jade’s eyes as he looks down upon you — for it is exactly the kind that breeds within him. That taut pull of a smile he rewards you with makes you so entirely happy, your jaw held within pale, nimble digits as if inspecting you before leaning down for a kiss. Jade’s style of love-making is far ruthless, pushing and edging you to your limits to follow each and every single one of his low commands, pain mixed within that pleasure but at its core, just as devoted to having their favorite human lose their mind within his embrace. A sentiment Leona shares. Leading to the establishment of a gradual, begrudging truce within the bedroom.

2. (If) Sex with Overblot Leona in the mix…

A King rules with a Queen at his side, his royal half and his lover is who he seeks, even in overblot.

The dark half of Leona — still yours, lost as he is — is all ferocity; verdant gaze fixated upon your ass raised in supplication of him. Liquid blot, dark and thick, gathered within a palm as it drips down across tapered digits he propels into your pussy, hot and slippery. Your strangled sound of surprise lost within your Leona’s mouth, lying beneath you, the press of his length you feel brush your thigh.

“Stop fretting,” you hear the darker being behind you speak. “I’ll have you wet enough to take me soon.”

And he does, as promised, slamming his hips into you on one swift stroke, you see stars. Before your Leona beneath moves to drag his fingers against your clit, having you whimpering in his embrace. "So damn tight, little herbivore." Moving to slip himself, inch by inch, into you, your insides so incredibly full of him as they set a punishing, to-and-fro sawing motion in between them. Never leaving you empty.

The dark one’s low grunts, his ominous growl coils low within your ears, “Take my seed, Torkwase and be mine, you hear me? Don’t waste a single drop.” Claws digging painful into your hips just as the constant thrust of them into you, slowly making you release your grip on consciousness.

Dreams so vivid, you can only flush in deep embarrassment when you awaken the next day.

*kidege= little bird mtoto= child Torkwase= Queen

[All Google, so if there are any discrepancies in translation, please feel free to correct me, friends.]

[alittlepudge-neverhurtnobody]

Okay so what about david stating to gain alot of weight quickly and everyones kinda worried but he's actually just really happy and comfortable in his relationship + probably finding out hes kinda into it

(And maybe even patrick not knowing so he gets a bit worried too)

Oh I love this!! (As you may know from following me) wg as a sign of recovery/happiness/comfort is one of my favorite tropes of all time so I would love to see this for David!! either gaining weight when he starts getting comfortable with Patrick once they’ve settled the whole barbecue/olive branch debacle, or I could also see like, David waiting until after the wedding bc he has Very Specific Visions of how things should look and also probably has had pieces of that outfit picked out since his old life and where is he going to find a tailor here he can trust to let out the seams without causing irreparable damage? waiting after the wedding and then deciding that he’s not dieting anymore. after the wedding, he can eat whatever he wants, no matter what it is, no matter how much, no matter how often. he gets to eat specifically because he wants to, no more restricting or holding himself back or switching out to a healthier option. and his metabolism is slowing down, his body is settling a little more as he settles down, and so he does gain a lot of weight quickly but he also isn’t worrying about it the way he used to because he feels secure enough to let his body change without fear that his partner is going to reject him for it. 

but of course David has a history of worrying about these things and handling them Uh Pretty Badly, so when he starts plumping up, everyone starts swooping in to check on him. Johnny and Moira trying to ask after his mental health in their own awkward, less-than-helpful ways (”so, son ... you know, sometimes ... when someone isn’t talking about something that’s bothering them ... it comes out in, ah, you know ... other ways, like maybe, ah, a lot of cheeseburgers at the cafe -- I mean, at a cafe -- and, you know, it might help that person to, ah, talk about it!” / “DaViD, I do hope your emotional entanglements are not imposing a hamper on your wellBeInG, lest we reprise your cognitive doldrums of two! thousand! and! fiiiive!”), Alexis fussing over him and offering him a little bit of the high-end moisturizer she treats herself to because it’s infused with sweet orange oil and it’s, like, so good at lifting your spirits, David, like, you will feel like a whole new person with just, like, the teeniest smidge, and suggesting little trips and excursions because she thinks something is wrong and wants to perk him up, despite David not actually ... seeming down. but in the past his weight gains have always been accompanied by a lot of shame and guilt and heartbreak and he guesses he sort of quietly did all the unlearning about that and it didn’t occur to anyone else to do so, because they’re all hovering over him and making kind little offers and trying to help him when he does not need it, thank you very much!!

(cue Stevie in the background having a pleasant but more-than-vaguely threatening conversation with Patrick because if she finds out that, say, he hid something else from David, or he’s upsetting David in some way, well, is Patrick aware that there are bodies buried on the motel grounds that no one has ever found? no? interesting ... ! but Patrick’s a little worried too, because he’s heard David talk about his body in the past and his language isn’t always ... the kindest? so he’s sort of treating David with kid gloves, trying not to patronize him but also not to cause some kind of body-image meltdown. he very carefully doesn’t say anything about food or David’s steadily climbing weight or his snug clothes, but he tries to go heavy on the casual touches and affection so David can at least be secure that Patrick is here for him for whatever’s going on.)

finally Alexis says something while she and David are out browsing at some very sad little indie mall, like, seventeen towns over and the way she says it, it could be about his perceived mental anguish or his weight, and he kind of snaps back at her and tells her he’s very happy with his body, and he’s very happy period, thanks so much, squinty unamused smile, and she just looks him up and down and goes, “well, duh, David, it’s not like getting fat is a bad thing, it’s just historically been a bad thing for you,” and tosses her hair and pushes a sweater into his hands before flouncing away like this is fully how she intended this conversation to go. the sweater is a 3x and not completely awful and David doesn’t even own anything in a 3x yet but somehow she intuited that it would fit perfectly? (in the car on the way home he has Sarah McLachlan on and Alexis hasn’t said a word to complain about it yet, which means something is up, and finally she runs her fingers through the ends of her hair and goes, like there was no break in their conversation at all, “okay but like, I think we all just thought it was, like, the birthday clown thing all over again, and you were just going to go radio silent for like six months and we would all be, like, highkey worried about you even if we only seemed lowkey worried about you or, like, not worried about you at all, and then you’d come out, like, four sizes bigger and be super mean to yourself for like another six months before you lost it all, and, like, none of us want to see that happen again, David. not because of the weight. because we care about you and we don’t want you to go through that again.” she sits back hard in her seat and punches the stereo dial. “also because you’re listening to Sarah what’s-her-name with all those sad puppy commercials and, like, that does not suggest a healthy mental state, David, ugh.” David lets that sink in for a few minutes. He smiles to himself. He lets Alexis change the music.

and when he and Patrick finally talk about it, David tells him that he really doesn’t need to worry, maybe gives him the rundown on the behaviors he actually SHOULD worry about if David ever starts exhibiting (which he can fact-check with Alexis, who’s apparently been keeping the score way more than David has given her credit for). he tells Patrick that it actually feels very freeing, letting himself get bigger and not policing what he eats anymore, and he’s never really been in a situation before where he felt secure and safe enough to be comfortable exploring that, and obviously he would love if Patrick wanted to sort of ... get involved, so to speak?? and even if it isn’t Patrick’s kink the way it’s David’s, Patrick is VERY down to love on David’s body and learn to appreciate it in the Extremely Specific ways David wants it appreciated. he can’t imagine a situation where more David would ever be a bad thing, so it’s super, super exciting to learn that not only does David agree, but plans to make sure that there’s going to be a lot more of him going forward now that they’re both on the same page.

(ALSO i’m really into the idea of David having been heavy before, but by circumstance rather than decision, and now taking this opportunity to explore being fat deliberately instead!! I threw some words together about it a while back and I’m gonna put them under a cut bc it does mention unwanted wg from meds and I’m not sure if that’s a trigger for anyone!)

Trim is relative, of course. He’s gained a whopping thirty-eight pounds since moving here a few years ago, and — it’s fine, he’s made his peace with it, he just likes things to be intentional, his body included. He’d mind those thirty-eight pounds much less if he had gained them by indulging himself, by enjoying treats he had chosen specifically for pleasure, rather than by stress-eating in his motel room.

He’s been heavy before — in his early twenties, he’d tried an antidepressant that hollowed out his appetite and added sixty pounds to his frame. He hadn’t stayed on it long, because it made him sick when he drank and he wasn’t in a place to give up drinking then, or even to cut back, but the weight had lingered for a good six months before he'd managed to shave it off with party drugs and an absolutely punishing workout regimen. It’s intentional, he told people when they asked about the weight, because they did ask and it always disarmed them. And although it wasn’t true, he’d let himself think sometimes about the possibility. He kind of liked being heavy. He kind of liked taking up space. He kind of liked jiggling. It made him feel like some sort of prince, indulgent and luxurious, the picture of wealth, and he thought that maybe he could have more-than-liked it, if it had just been something he’d chosen.

[threeminutesoflife]

Don’t Forget

Pairings: Steve x Black!Reader Summary: A look at family life for Steve, Reader and their daughter after reader suffers problems with her memory  Warnings: slight angst/ends happy, memory loss due to injury, smut, slightest breeding kink Word Count: 1.8k

prompt: 50 First Dates

a/n: @allaboardthereadingrailroad❣️🧡​ thank you for hosting the Diversity Challenge 

a/n2: piece is purposely choppy and randomly placed to reflect the reader’s struggle with memory. Also, references to Dark Knight, Love Actually, Say Anything, 50 First Dates.

___ A monetary, momentary impact- cause and effect:

Bank robberies were many things. Successful ones were more. Timing, precision, determination; a well-mapped out plan, and methodical dedication to achieve a streamless end result.

It was that sort of successful robbery that cemented you, an involuntary participant, on a repetitive course of choppy, foggy memories. Despite the jovial clown designs of the robbers’ masks, the severity of the situation was real.   

Because things really do play out in slow motion as dramatic events unfold- a deafening crash, a cloud of dusty sunlight pouring in through the bank's broken entrance. Stilted, broken flashes of your life projected themselves on the backs of your closed eyelids.

Unfortunately, you were within the range of the propelling debris when the school bus reversed into the building.

Because of that day, your memory would skip and strip. 

____

Exhilaration- friendly fear of tickle monsters:

The sound of tiny feet slapping the floor drew closer from down the hall, ten little toes against high-gloss maple.

The bedroom door crashed open with no regard to the plaster behind it.

Giggles cut through the room as thirty pounds of mischief in footed pajamas launched itself straight at you.

“Mommy!”

Your three year old squealed before bombing her limbs upon your stomach, "Daddy’s gonna get us!”

___

No time for regret, when you’re in the moment of gratitude:

Steve found you standing in front of the vanity, staring at the mirror- unfocused. Frowning slightly, he knew what you were doing to yourself.  

“You okay, sweetheart?”

“Steve, do you ever think... it’d be easier if you didn’t ask me out all those years ago?”

“Which time?” Steve tested the waters with the usual joke, gathering time to prepare himself for the familiar, spirit-dampening conversation.

Every few months you’d ask him if all this was worth it- if the extra work to be with you was what he wanted. He’d always reply with, ‘Loving you's a blessing, not a chore.’

You’d hesitate at those words, at his sincerity- until he was able to coax affection back into your field of vision. Because you were worth it to him. 

“Steve, come on. I’m being serious.”

“Me too. I’m lucky to be as stubborn as people claim me to be-“

“Oh, it’s a fact," you snorted. "Not a claim. You’re stubborn.”

“Good thing for me then, huh?" Steve smiled, relieved by your humor. "Otherwise, I’d miss out on everything that’s good in my life.”

___

She’s got jokes:

A documentary splashed itself across the television screen as you sank into the couch next to Steve. Pointing your toes, you rested your legs over his lap and cracked open the fake memory journal's spin. 

Watching you from the corner of his eye, Steve hid his excitement that you brought the book out by him. 

You usually looked over it alone, too self-conscious to try remembering things in front of others. He always encouraged you to sit and read it with him. He liked resharing the stories you created together, but your underlying guilt for not recalling events easily shut the door on those conversations.   

Turning the page, you caught Steve glancing at you before shooting his attention back to the screen with a cough. 

Smugly stretching your legs, you bit your lip and rubbed your ankle over Steve’s bulge. Catching the way his thigh jumped and flexed under his thin sweatpants, your eyes darted back to the journal. You couldn’t wait to play out your prank. 

Keeping his eyes on the screen, Steve picked up your ankle and rolled his knuckles along the arch of your foot. As much as he appreciated the way you riled him up, he wanted you to open up.

Chuckling, you mumbled to yourself how great that day must have been before turning the page and complimenting another pretend event. 

Another faux memory praised, Steve twisted towards you before shaking his head and turning back to the screen. Pressing his thumb harder into the sole of your foot, he was unsure how to proceed. 

Delighted by his confusion, you complimented another memory with a theatrical dreamy sigh.

Giving in to his curiosity, Steve paused the television and gave it a shot, “What are we looking at?” 

“I thought it might be nice to talk about the stuff we did- like you’ve wanted.”

The smile that spread across Steve’s face almost made you feel bad for the prank.

“Yeah, yes- I’d like that,” he shut the tv off, practically dropping the remote in excitement. “What are you reading, what’s making you laugh?”

“How you asked me out using cue cards you made. The messages you came up with were sweet.”

“...Cue cards?”

“It was special of you, Steve. Taking the time to write out something on each one. Here. Look at this sentence, you called me perfect. Reading what you did and how loved I felt, you’re so wonderful.”

“...Honey...” Steve’s voice cracked slightly, “I don’t, I don't know anything about cue cards-”

“-And then the time you stood outside my bedroom window with that boombox. Holding it obnoxiously high above your head. Thank goodness for biceps, am I right?" You teased, nudging Steve with your elbow. "That gesture might be a little too much for some but reading how you made me feel, it meant so me.”

“You wrote that?” Steve questioned, an edge of concern creeping in. “You think I actually did-... you remember these things happening?”

“My favorite is right here. When you built that little house out of waffles at the diner. Setting up a kiddie pool of syrup for us to dip the roof in and a jacuzzi of hot chocolate nearby. And then your expression- when I said I'm more of a pancake person. You argued how pancakes aren’t sound enough for construction.” 

Keeping your poker face intact, you tried not to flinch as Steve inspected you intensely. 

Suddenly, he jetted forward and snatched the fake journal from your hands. Sailing it over his shoulder, he knocked your legs from his lap and climbed off the couch to loom over you. 

Before regret set in from your play of inaccurate historical accounts, your body snapped backward as Steve yanked you down the sofa by your ankles. 

“Hysterical. Pancakes over waffles” Steve scoffed dryly at your teasing, boxing himself over you and settling his knee between your legs. “I know you too well. You’re in for it now, sweetheart.”

____

Adoration, a promise of tradition and support:

You sat in bed with her snuggled by your side, a little nose peeked out from under her blanket. Her little hand wrapped itself around your shirt, her other held a well-loved, stuffed bunny. 

Scooping her up, you cradled her in your arms. Warm security. Peeling a corner of the blanket back, you kissed her cheek. 

Between giggles, she raised the rabbit up in the air and you played along- one kiss for her, another for her stuffed friend.

She settled in slowly with a yawn as you hummed the lullaby your mother softly sang to you before bed. The same rich melody draped with the lyrics your grandmother sang to her children. 

Tears gathered in your eyes as you willed yourself not to forget this moment.

___

Gratitude and gratefulness:

“Can’t you see how beautiful you are? Knowing I’m yours- that you’re mine... when you come out of that bedroom each morning, I witness that recognition of love on your face when you see us...” Steve’s body tensed, his shoulders shook as he stumbled over the words. "...getting to see you with our girl each day."

“Hey," You called to him, pulling himself out of his thoughts. "Hey, handsome."

Steve pressed his forehead against yours and tried to push down his anxiety. 

Your eyes locked to his as you promised teasingly, “You and our daughter- seeing her each day- that’s my happiness. You're just a bonus.”

Sputtering a laugh, he closed his eyes and relaxed from your fingers threading through his hair. Steve never took for granted how you soothed him, especially during the times when he should actually be comforting you. 

“Thank you,” Steve whispered. 

“Some things are easier to remember than others for me.”

“Yeah?” His lips ghosted over yourself, a half-smile raising the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah. The journal's a great cheat sheet, makes it easier to recall I have a husband. Now, if only I could pick him-”

Steve moved quickly, cutting off your joke. His mouth trapped your next words when his tongue swept over your lips. 

___

Muscle memory:

“Hold your legs. Spread'em wide for me,” Steve instructed between a husky, broken grunt. “Wider, sweetheart.”

He stroked himself in front of you as you laid naked on your back. Your arms were sandwiched between the fold of your legs and hands locked around your ankles. You provided your husband more access and an even prettier view with your feet in the air and legs parted. 

He ran his fingers over your folds, circling your clit. Lining himself up, he thought how these were some of his favorite moments with you, the intimacy and the need.

Caught up in the stretch and sensation of him slowly entering you, you almost missed his next words over your moans. 

“Want…” Steve stuttered, “want to be deep in you, beautiful.”

You mewled under him, squeezing him from his words. Releasing your ankles, you grabbed his arms for support as he slowly slid deeper. Steve’s movements faltered with a groan, feeling you tighten around him.

He closed his eyes to concentrate as you felt goosebumps run down his forearms under your palms. 

“Fuck,” Steve cursed and praised, thrusting harder. Your legs bounced above your arms from each snap of his hips.

“Free your legs. Give me your hands, sweetheart,” Steve instructed, massaging your breast.

Pulling him down, your hands wrapped around the back of his neck. You inhaled his woodsy shampoo as you dragged your nose along the light shadow of his beard. Capturing his mouth with yours, you tasted salt on his top lip.   

With a quick bite along your collarbone, his chest rumbled when you ignored his instructions. Collecting your wrists in one hand, he secured them over your head and ground into you harshly. 

“I love you,” Steve said, slowing his pace. 

You replied with a roll of your hips, earning a dark moan from him, "I love you, too.” 

Steve rocked back on his heels, dragging away his length and slipping out of you completely. Your body immediately began to cool from his lack of touch. 

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you called out, "What's wrong?"

“Your empty journal sheets bother me,” Steve stated, running his hands over your knees. "We're fixing that."  

His thumbs circled up your inner thighs, looping closer to your core. Spreading your legs further apart, he pushed them into the mattress. Taking himself back in his hand, he palmed his erection and rocked his shaft along your folds. 

"Let's have another baby, sweetheart," he smirked, teasing his tip into you. "Gotta fill up all those pages.”

[bowtied-pasta]

Drop the fireplace fic bow. I know you want to - 🌸

I see my time has come. Its actually not a fic though, so this is all me basing it off of conversations that have been held with Scrolly. @scrollypoly you're the devil and so is this anon.

Should be noted, this is my first lemonaid fic that I've written since my hiatus so feedback would be appreciated. 👉👈 Anyway, onward.

Kinks: slight bondage Character: Splendorman

NSFW BELOW CUT

The warm glow of the fireplace washing the room in orange light, warmth floods through your body as you lay against his chest. The rise and fall of his chest combined with the odd beat of his heart lulling you closer to sleep, and yet you couldn't relax enough to do so. Your own heart beating a thousand miles a minute.

You move your head, looking up at him to see his eyes shut. You highly doubted he was asleep, but he certainly seemed to be on the way to doing so. Maybe you could.... get away with a smooch.... or two. Seems a harmless action to anyone else, but if he’s awake enough to reciprocate you would be drowned in affection until he saw fit to let you go. Once he got going there was no escape.

Uncurling yourself in his lose hold you gently wrap your arms around his neck and stretch a bit before settling again. Face now buried in his neck you feel him adjust his arms to hold you more securely once more. Upside, you could now smooch. Downside, you were trapped in a rather compromising position. Not that it mattered much, your goal was to smooch him and get away with it because he was too tired to reciprocate. 

You lay there for a bit, absorbing the love and warmth, taking in his breathing and deciding that he was asleep enough that he wouldn't be able to get back at you. Turning your head slowly, you glance up to his eyes once more to make sure they're still closed before softly pressing your lips to his cheek.

You squeak in alarm as his arms tighten around your form and you feel a tentacle wrap around your wrists. “Aw, Liebe. If you wanted some love all you had to do was ask. I'm always happy to share.”

You writhe in his hold, not making much progress in escape as he brings you a bit closer to his face, beginning to leave chaste kisses along your forehead before making his way to your cheek. 

“No! You aren't allowed! I'm supposed to be kissing you! Stop!” Your face flushing brighter as you squirm, turning your face away only to feel him turn your face back to his full attention. You knew he could feel how happy it made you, embarrassing you further as he moves his lips along your jaw, dipping further down to kiss along your neck.

“But Schatz, I can feel how happy it makes you. Do you not want me to make you feel happy?” He sighs between kisses, the false sorrow in his voice making the question something you couldn't just ignore.

“Shut up. Its not that, you big clown. I'm supposed to be kissing you. Its not fair. You... make me happy almost all the time. I just wanted to do the smooching for once.” You look away shyly, his assault on your face and neck having paused while you spoke. The silence carrying on for a few seconds too long, you brave looking in his eyes to see he practically had stars in them.

“Schatz, that’s.....” He practically explodes as he begins his attack all over again. “Adorable! You're so cute! I am so lucky! So cute!”

You whine, struggling to get your hands free as you squirm with renewed vigor. You buck your hips against him to try and get his arm to loosen, only to feel yourself practically grind against him, making you stop cold.

His kisses slow down against your neck, humming against your skin as he takes a moment to speak to you, his voice seeming to take on a subtly sinful quality. “Now just what was that, mein schatz? That little wave didn't feel quite like the rest.”

You make an indignant sound as you attempt to pull your hands out of their restraints once again, refusing to move your lower half. “Stop reading my emotions then, cheater. It wouldn't feel different if you didn't read me.”

“You don't really want that. Besides, how would I know how good you feel if I didn't. You like to be so quiet.” He moves his hands to your hips, thumbs gently massaging into you as he guides you into a slow grind against him. 

He nuzzles himself further into your neck, nipping here and there, focusing on what was sure to be a collection of marks for you to find later. You gasp as he bites down on a particularly sensitive spot, making him stop there and give that spot special attention as he continues guiding your hips.

Pleasure coiling in your hips, your soft noises egging him on as he keeps his pace. Your near shameless begs to go faster, harder, for more. All ignored in his slow, thorough and loving pace.

Fluttering around nothing, your core aching for something you wont be getting tonight, you melt in his hold as your climax washes over you. Vision hazy, your muscles relax as you moan softly, moving your hips yourself as you ride out the throbbing in your core that begs for round two.

“That was beautiful, Liebe.” You wrap yourself tighter around him at his words, eyes staying shut as you slide deeper into comfort, warmth and the satiation of your high. You don't even get to hear him say anything else as you drift into warm, comfortable sleep.

[freddielocks]

Here are, by Discogs' ratings, the 10 most valuable singles in my collection. The descriptions will aim to give you as much detail as they can about each, if there's any terminology that needs explaining just ask!

They'll go in reverse order:

10) John's Children - Desdemona

B-side: Remember Thomas a Becket

Label: Track, cat 604003

Year: 1967

Highest sold for on Discogs: £122

Rare Record Price Guide Value (in mint near unplayed condition): £150

Price paid: £30 on eBay

Condition: Record and sleeve VG (some noise)

This Desdemona, the rarest of all the singles I own by my hero Marc Bolan, is made much more valuable as it has the rare picture sleeve, an oddity for British singles at the time. Both sides are decent mod tracks and the A-side was banned by the BBC for the lyrics 'Lift up your skirt and fly' which Bolan maintained was about a witch.

9) Nicky James - So Glad We Made It

A-side: I Need To Be Needed

Label: Philips, cat BF 1566

Year: 1967

Highest on Discogs: £140

RRPG mint Value: £7 (!)

Price paid: 40p in Plastic Wax Records

Condition: Solid VG (edge cracked but not affecting grooves)

Nicky James aka 'Thunderthroat' was a big voiced but obscure singer, who came close to hits and almost joined the Moody Blues, who later went on to enormous success, signing him to their record label Threshold. I found this after hours of searching and got really excited (confused stares in the shop) and got it home only to see its low book value. However, it was not listed on Discogs, and so I put it in the database myself, to find a few years later that the B-side is considered a collectible Northern Soul record and it had started to sell for way more money! Not my favourite record by him though, which is Reaching For The Sun.

8) The Creation - Making Time

B-side: Try And Stop Me

Label: Planet, cat PLF 116

Year: 1966, charted at #49 for 1 week

Highest on Discogs: £150

Book value: £35 (would be £50 with sleeve)

Price paid: £25 on Discogs (lucky!)

Condition: largely VG+ but one deeper scratch causes pops

The mod band The Creation were rivals to the Who in their heyday, and this aggressive punky single, produced by the renowned Shel Talmy and issued on his (uber-cool) Planet label, showcases their talent, as well as the invention of playing the electric guitar with a violin bow to crunchy effect! It's a classic and a must-have for any collector.

7) The Misunderstood - I Can Take You To The Sun

B-side: Who Do You Love

Label: Fontana, cat. TF 777

Year: 1966

Highest on Discogs: £150

Book value: £80

Price paid: 50p in a warehouse clearance in Cadoxton, Wales

Condition: it appears that this was left by the radiator at some point, and it's a bit wavey around the edge. This causes a few wobbles in the sound and a little sizzle at the end, but still listenable

The Misunderstood were a mysterious American outfit, who only released this single while in their original line up, with the dual guitars of Englishman Tony Hill and Glenn Ross Campbell (not the famous one). 1966 puts it at the cutting edge of psychedelia, and both tracks are amazing and utter classics, with the A-side taking you to space and back and the B-side being the most screechy Bo Diddley cover ever! It was a dream to find a copy in the dingiest place in the world, and well worth the damp knees and hours without any natural light.

6) The Maytones - Botheration and The G.G. Rhythm Section - TNT

Label: Blue Cat, cat. (Haha) BS 165

Year: 1969

Highest on Discogs: £150

Book price: £35

Paid: it's still a secret but it's around £30-35, from Plastic Wax

Condition: solid VG again, which for a reggae/rocksteady single is practically a dream.

This single split between two artists very popular in Jamaica (The G.G. All Stars were connected to pioneer Ernest Ranglin) was released on the Blue Cat label, arguably the rarest of the numerous sub-labels of legendary company Trojan Records. Both sides are chilled rocksteady and among the label's best work, justifying the steep rise in prices for it. My reggae buying career has been essentially for the labels they were released on, but this was a huge coup as it was a brilliant record too!

5) James Royal - I Can't Stand It

B-side: A Little Bit Of Rain

Label: CBS, cat. 2959

Year: 1967

Highest on Discogs (and only sale to date): £150

Book price: £125

Price paid: 50p in Rick's Records (rip), Hastings

Condition: looks utterly trashed and has a small crack going into the playing surface alas. However it plays very well given its appearance - it's loud!

James Royal is not a well known name - he made a fair few singles before joining a covers band and leaving the big time for Australia, having played with a host of future stars (Rick Wakeman of Yes, John Entwistle of the Who, Nick Simper from Deep Purple) along the way. This classy two-sider is his rarest record and shows his vocals to great effect against an amazingly lavish production. As usual with soul records, the demo copy (which amazingly was the reason I didn't leave it in the box for so cheap!) doubles the value, although any copy of this fetches big prices - that £150 is looking a little low. I more treasure it because musically it's superb. Check it out!

4) Kaleidoscope - A Dream For Julie

B-side: Please Excuse My Face

Label: Fontana, cat. TF 895

Year: 1968

Highest Discogs: £175

Book price: £40

Paid: £5 on eBay

Condition: has a crack which has led to a small piece missing. I have just about got it to play without the needle getting stuck in there. You can appreciate this one's a 'collection filler' (for someone who didn't care - I bought it for the music obviously!)

Kaleidoscope are a now legendary English psych-pop outfit, who narrowly missed success both in this form, making waves with 'Flight From Ashiya' (which I also own after a long and arduous search) and as their later Fairfield Parlour incarnation, scoring a near-hit with 'Bordeaux Rosé'. As I Luv Wight they recorded the theme for the Isle Of Wight Festival in 1970, but the festival DJ ignored instructions to play it in between every act and tossed his copy into the crowd (it was perhaps a little too advanced, but I like it (and own it)). A Dream For Julie is a bizarre danceable record with sheer nonsense lyrics ('Mexican clowns' and 'strawberry monkeys' surround Julie for starters). The B-side is typically mellow and stately.

3) The Kinks - Long Tall Sally

B-side: I Took My Baby Home

Label: Pye, cat. 7N.15611

Year: 1964

Highest on Discogs: £207

Book price: £120

Paid: £16 on eBay

Condition: VG playing above grade - a surprisingly great copy! Probably one of the best in this list

The Kinks need no introduction, but this was their first ever single released just two records before You Really Got Me practcially invented fuzz guitar and changed rock forever. Both sides are snappy beat numbers with character and the characteristic weird vocals of Ray Davies. eBay does have miracles - this bidding war happened in prime hours (8pm) and I held on by 50p or so, for a record which otherwise would fetch much higher and has a huge collector's market in beat and Kinks fans alike.

2) Crocheted Doughnut Ring - Two Little Ladies (Azalea and Rhododendron)

B-side: Nice

Year: 1967

Label: Polydor, cat. 56204

Highest on Discogs: £307

Book value: £40

Paid: £12.50 on eBay

Condition: VG-, crackles a fair bit as both sides are quiet.

The (Crocheted) Doughnut Ring were an obscure outfit who issued around four singles in the late 60s. This record's A-side is a rather meandering psych-pop affair which is rather soft. Having no other material for a B-side, producer Peter Eden (who lent his talents to a whole other bunch of records and adds collectibility) fooled around with the A-side tapes and created an incredible soundscape - inventing ambient music in 1967! There's nothing else like it for at least another four years, when Brian Eno and Robert Fripp released (No Pussyfooting) (which I do own, and yes, the brackets are part of the title), the first major incidence of tape manipulation in popular music after The CDR's accident!

1) The Spectres - I (Who Have Nothing)

B-side: Neighbour Neighbour

Label: Piccadilly, cat. 7N.35339

Year: 1966

Highest on Discogs: £350

Book value: £300

Paid: Nothing! This was in my aunt's garage in Manchester, although mum has no idea who owned it in the first place - mysterious Auntie Laura was the only candidate. Other records in the box were also rare, causing disbelief as mum thought they were awful!

Condition: incredibly for a record stored without any protective sleeve in a flimsy box in the dankest most cluttered garage in existence, it's a solid VG with great sound.

This record, the first of three, was the first recorded appearance of Status Quo! This creates its incredible value, although it is the most common of the three (not saying much). Both sides are not brilliant versions of standards recorded by lots of bands, although I (like others) have a soft spot for the B-side, which is an R&B number with traces of the psychedelic sound early Quo (before they decided to only write songs with three chords!) were to hit success with, as Pictures of Matchstick Men became a top 10 hit. In between the Spectres and that single, the band were known as Traffic Jam, and the Almost But Not Quite There (accurate name!) single is the most sought after. My aunt nearly threw it away! Jesus!